#And Dipper barely even recognizes it

[tswwwit]

if you could

would you boop bill?

I would, then I would die horribly shortly afterward. And it would be worth it.

[millenianthemums]

chapter 3 of my fic is up! i actually posted it a week ago, but was too tired to finish the art until now… i might not actually be able to draw for every single chapter, but i still wanna try. we’ll see.

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First chapter

Mabel had become best friends with Tate McGucket’s new dog in under a week. She knew she would eventually, but still, that was record time. And with all the old friends she’d been tirelessly catching up with in her first few days back in Gravity Falls, she was both proud and preemptively exhausted to have added a new friend to the list already.

It helped that Scout Cottonball McGucket was the absolute sweetest puppy she’d ever met (a puppy that was taller than her on two legs was a puppy nonetheless). She was one of those huge fluffy white dogs– a Great Pyranese, Dipper had said– and her heart was just as soft and sweet and cuddly as the rest of her. Hence “Cottonball”, the unauthorized middle name Mabel had secretly given her. The plan was to get it to stick so well that by the time Tate found out about it, it would be impossible to get rid of it.

So when she cycled by the lake and saw Tate out in the rain that afternoon, and managed to wrangle out of him that Scout was missing , of course she was going to help look. Total no-brainer. Her search-and-rescue strategy of biking along the treeline at a snail pace while whistling and calling Scout’s name wasn’t exactly sophisticated, but before long she caught a lucky break. She started hearing a weird noise through the rain, a distant but piercing screech. At first she assumed it was a red fox or maybe a mountain lion screaming its head off somewhere in the woods, and tried to steer clear of it. But then a series of powerful barks joined it– Scout’s beautiful voice!-- and Mabel’s self-preservation fled. No way was some wailing overgrown house cat gonna hurt her new friend on her watch!

She swerved toward the noise, yelling for Scout, and soon a shape barrelled toward her out of the darkness. She was only terrified for a split second, but then she saw its wagging tail and leapt off her bike to give the dog a massive hug. Scout jumped and wagged and danced around joyfully as Mabel scrubbed her hands all through her thick coat. “You’re okay!” she cheered as Scout nuzzled her face. “We were all so worried, young lady… aww, I can’t stay mad at you! Maybe just– oof–” she shoved Scout’s massive paws off her shoulders and tried to wipe the muddy pawprints off her sweater before they soaked into the wool. “Maybe just settle down a little– whoa! Hey! Oh, you’re such a silly–”

“YOU.”

She recognized the voice right away. Part of her brain had never stopped hearing it. Her head turned toward it against her will, and standing there in the woods, staring her down, was exactly what she was most afraid to see.

Bill Cipher. The triangle guy who almost killed the entire world last time she’d been here. The monster who tricked her into helping him almost tear her family apart. The thing that had almost scared her into not coming back this year, into abandoning this place and the people she loved so much, out of fear that she’d somehow mess it all up again. The single worst thing that had ever happened to her. He was standing right in front of her. The streaks of mud and bruising, bloody gashes all over his face (body? surface?) made him look like he’d just clawed his way straight out of Hell, and the look in his eye seemed to say that he’d done it just to tear her apart with his bare hands.

She was dreaming. She had to be dreaming. Please, please let her be dreaming. Let her wake up…

Then he started talking, and she realized something was off.

“YYYOUUU DIDTHIISSSS,” was all she could really make out. He was saying lots more stuff, but the words were blurring together, so clumsy and slurred that it didn’t even sound like language. He started trying to walk toward her– walk , like on the ground , which she’d never seen him do in his triangle form. And he was barely managing it. Every raindrop that hit him seemed to be weighing him down as he approached, oozing blood— weird silver blood with an eye-melting rainbow sheen— from countless gashes on his arms and legs, and even between the brick things on his body/face. The finger gun he was holding out seemed like it was supposed to be aiming at her, but his whole arm was shaking more than the leaves in the summer storm. He trailed off speaking— the only other thing she’d caught was “I WON’T”— and his eye locked on her face. His eye was bloodshot, pink, shiny and sticky, like a wad of chewed gum. It looked horribly painful. Everything about him looked painful.

As she stared, his pupil shrank to a tiny point. His eye turned bright red, and the redness spread out into his bricks— scales?— like a fire burning behind drywall. For a second she thought he was about to turn into that giant crimson nightmare pyramid he’d shapeshifted into last year, and she almost turned and ran as he let out a scream and started to run at her…

…and fell on his face.

Mabel and Scout stood there, staring in silence, as Bill Cipher laid face-down and motionless in the mud. The woods were still filled with the low roar of rain, but somehow Mabel felt a heavy silence crushing her lungs.

Once her heart had stopped beating so fast, she risked a step toward him. Scout made a soft rumble of warning, but let her approach. Bill gave absolutely no sign that he knew she was there as she drew closer, until she was standing right beside him, close enough to see the gold scales on his back heaving rhythmically up and down. Slow, labored breathing. Had she ever seen him breathe before? She didn’t think he even did that. At least not normally. But from the looks of it, this was hardly a normal day for him. He really did look awful. One of his arms was a bloody mess, leather skin all ragged and torn. He probably had Scout to thank for that. She gave the dog an affectionate scratch behind her ear.

But the torn-up arm was far from his only injury. And she didn’t know how to tell health from illness in… whatever he was… but she was pretty sure he was usually a much brighter shade of yellow than this. He looked drained of color.

After several seconds of nothing happening, she noticed a big, durable-looking stick lying at the base of a nearby tree. She retrieved it, and after a few deep breaths and a bit of hyping herself up– “if he was gonna jump up and grab you he could have done it by now” -- she held out the stick and gave him a slight but purposeful nudge.

Nothing. He just barely twitched enough to show he was still alive. He was totally out cold.

She was getting concerned. That was a new experience, feeling concern for Bill. He’d done so much terrible stuff, but still… was she watching a man die? Or a triangle, rather? Was she about to see a triangle die?

A voice in the distance cut through the rain. Mabel jumped back and held the stick like a baseball bat on reflex. Then she recognized it, just as Scout’s tail started wagging. It was Tate McGucket’s voice. “Mabel? Scout? Is that you out there?”

“It’s us! Hi!” Mabel chirped, then realized her mistake. Leading Tate toward Bill would almost definitely end with somebody dying. And whoever it ended up being, she just really didn’t want to see that. With a few more quick, anxious nudges, she managed to shove Bill most of the way under a nearby bush just as Tate’s flashlight beam swept through the trees to find them. Scout took off running toward it and Mabel quickly followed, snagging the handlebars of her bike along the way. She arrived in time to see Tate grinning and ruffling Scout’s furry face as she stood with her paws on his chest. He looked up to see Mabel and quickly shoved the dog off him. “I keep tellin’ you not to jump like that, girl!” he said sternly.

“She must’ve run off chasing something,” Mabel offered as casually as possible. “But she ran up as soon as she heard me! She’s a good puppy!”

“Wish she minded me half that well,” he grumbled, patting Scout on the head. “Good on you for findin’ her, Mabel. I really can’t thank you enough–”

“You don’t have to thank me!” Mabel said, shooing the thought away with her hands. “I’m always happy to help out a friend!” Scout gave a quiet, appreciative “boof” as she scratched her ear.

“Let me drive you back home, then,” Tate said. “You shouldn’t be biking in this rain anyway. ‘Specially once it gets dark.”

Mabel shot an involuntary glance at the bushes behind her. If she left now, she might not find this same spot again. And if she lost track of Bill, if she went home not knowing if he was still out there somewhere, or if he might follow her…

“...Well, the others aren’t expecting me back ‘til eight,” she said slowly. That was true; she’d been out cycling well past sunset most nights since she and Dipper arrived. Ever since she’d gotten really into biking in the fall, she’d been eager to try out the trails in Gravity Falls, and now she was getting as much use out of them as she could. The Grunkles were cool with it. They both figured a girl who’d helped fight off a paranormal apocalypse could handle herself in the dark woods for an hour or two. And they were right, she thought proudly. She’d gotten really fast on her bike in the past few months. She could probably outspeed a grizzly bear with ease. Those guys were way too big and bulky to pedal well.

“Plus, I think the rain’s supposed to let up soon,” she continued. “Would it be okay if I just hung around the bait shop for a little bit, and then biked home after?”

“Sure thing,” Tate said, looking grateful for something to offer. “I’ll tell the missus to put some tea on. Scout, heel.” He clicked his fingers, and Scout followed close beside him as he headed back to the house.

Mabel waited until his back was turned. Then she picked up the stick again and drove it hard into the ground, at the base of the bush that hid Bill. Backing up a bit, making sure it would stay upright, she nodded to herself. It would work well enough as a landmark.

“I’ll come back later,” she whispered under her breath as she trailed behind Tate and Scout. “If he’s gone, I’ll run home and tell Dipper and the Grunkles. And if he’s dead, then… problem solved. I think.”

And if this is all a trick? Some cynical part of her brain piped up. If he’s luring you back into some kind of trap, then what? You gonna fall for it like last time?

“No,” she whispered back through gritted teeth. “Not again.”

One hand wandered to the cupholder on her bike that held her grappling hook. Fingers resting on its handle, she followed the others out of the woods.

The sun had fully hidden behind the horizon by the time Mabel left. The rain had lightened to a gentle mist, barely noticeable really, and she hadn’t wanted to stay out too late. So once she’d finished her tea (augmented with all the spare sugar packets Mrs. McGucket had claimed to own), she’d said goodbye to Scout and her humans and set out for home. She sent a quick text to Dipper on the way out, letting him know she’d be a little bit late getting back. Just got sidetracked, sorry, nothing to worry about.

But there was something to worry about. She saw the stick loom out of the darkness as she cycled up. The rain had almost washed it out of the ground, leaving it standing crooked. The sharp, jutting angle reminded her of that picture Dipper showed her once of a nuclear waste dump or something, where they’d put some scary black spikes in a desert to try and scare people away. “This place is best shunned and left uninhabited”.

She shouldn’t be doing this. This was so stupid. It didn’t make any sense to get closer.

But she was already standing over the bush. She wrenched the stick out of the ground and gripped it like a sword. She held it at arm’s length and pushed aside the foliage, reaching back for the grappling hook in her pocket with her other hand.

The dim light glinted off something shiny and yellow. She drew back a step, instinctive, but the shape didn’t jump at her. It didn’t move at all. Bill Cipher was still exactly where she’d left him.

Did he actually die? She felt her chest tighten, which was stupid. It was good if he was dead. He was already supposed to be dead. She should be thrilled to think he might have died under that bush, all his threats left unfulfilled.

Did I just walk away while he was dying?

Her hand was shaking. She tried to draw the stick back, but it bumped against one of his arms as it went.

It twitched. The fist clenched and drew back in toward the body. Mabel almost bit through her tongue from flinching too hard, but there was no further movement.

He was alive. Barely.

Mabel’s chest was so tight, it felt like she couldn’t breathe. This was the worst case scenario. He wasn’t gone somewhere. He didn’t jump up and scare her and at least provide some clue about what was going on. And he wasn’t dead. But he probably would be in a few hours. And there was nobody in the world who would ever possibly help. Nobody who even could, except her.

This was so STUPID. You already helped him once, Mabel. Remember? You helped him almost kill your whole family. You really wanna go another round?

But thinking about just walking away made her feel sick. She’d never just walked away from something that was dying before. How many wasps had she fished out of pools in her life? How many times had her parents scolded her for bringing wounded squirrels and raccoons inside? Those were bad ideas too. “Trash the house and get stung” ideas. But the wasps and squirrels and raccoons all lived. If she hadn’t done that stupid thing, they would have died. Not helping had never even felt like an option.

“He already died once before,” she whispered to the angry voice in her head. “He might come back again, someplace else, and cause a bunch more problems we don’t even know about until it’s too late.” She popped open the little wicker trunk on the back of her bike and pulled out her emergency picnic blanket. “Maybe if I, like, put him somewhere secure. And keep a good close eye on him. And then when he wakes up, I can get some answers here.”

The angry voice wasn’t convinced by her rationalizations. It kept yelling about how stupid she was as she draped the blanket over Bill, then gingerly lifted him, using the blanket like gloves, too scared to touch him directly. He weighed practically nothing; about the same as a large picture frame. The voice kept berating her as she shoved him into the bike’s front basket– no way was she putting him in the trunk and pedaling all the way home with her back to him. The front basket was just big enough that, with the blanket over him, he looked like a misshapen, mostly unsuspicious lump. She biked along the side of the road, eyes flickering back and forth between the basket and the pavement ahead, for the whole ride home. The voice was still at it by the time she leaned her bike against the wall of the Mystery Shack, but the louder and meaner it got, the less inclined she felt to listen to its advice. She knew this was a dumb idea. But she’d come this far, and there were no other good options.

They’d discovered, like, six new secret rooms since Grunkle Ford first made it back home. Some of them even he had forgotten about. There was one in the basement that she and Dipper had taken to calling “Gay Baby Jail”, because they’d started a habit of banishing defeated board game opponents down there. Also because it was small, cramped, almost empty, and only had one tiny, high window into the backyard, which for some reason had bars on it.

For all these reasons, it was the perfect habitat for Bill. There was a bathroom in the back, and they’d spruced the room up with a beanbag chair and one of those empty wooden chests from the gift shop, just to tie the room together. He’d be fine in there. Probably.

It was easy to sneak in the back door and down to the basement. Dipper, Stan and Ford were all chatting in the kitchen, working on dinner. It smelled like something was on fire, but she still really wished she was in there with them. This was to keep them safe, she reminded herself as she eased open the door to Gay Baby Jail.

She turned the blanket bundle upside down and dumped Bill out onto the beanbag chair. He was still out cold, lying there in a pile of noodly limbs, but at least he was still breathing. She dropped the blanket on top of him and backed away.

Looking him over, she frowned. A small bite wound on his arm was still oozing silver blood. It would ruin the beanbag chair pretty soon. She sighed and started digging through her pockets.

Gingerly, with as few fingers as possible, she pressed a sky blue band-aid over the wound. “You didn’t earn that,” she whispered. “That’s for practical reasons only.”

With one last look around the room, she jabbed a finger at him. “I’ll be back,” she said, practicing her Interrogation Voice. “And when you wake up, I want answers, Geometry Boy.”

Bill stayed asleep. Mabel shut the door, locked it, tested the lock. It held strong.

She took a deep breath and straightened up, switching from Serious Mode back to Mabel Mode. Then she snuck back outside, knocked on the front door, and joined her family for dinner.

[fangirlingpuggle]

Prism Pines AU

After Ford comes back, does he have issues being a parental figure? Not just himself acting as a parent, but the kids actually recognizing as an authority figure in their lives.

Because sure Stan is their uncle, and he let then know that Ford is their father, but Stan was the one who raised them. He's been their parental figure their entire lives up to that point. And if Ford still threatens to kick Stan out, that might just sour the relationship they could have with Ford harder.

And what about Stan himself? If Ford would tried to pull a "As their father I think they should do this or that." But would Stan accept that, or tell Ford he barely even knows Dipper and Mabel, and can't overrule him when it comes to them?

Oh it's super awkward and there are a lot of issues they all have to work through Ford didn't know he had kids, he'd forgotten about the eggs and the whole karaoke night (And probably a good thing because Ford doesn't want to think about what he would have done had he found them when in paranoia mode)

He has zero idea how to handle kids, much less kids who have Bill's powers, who are a reminder of that relationship and know all about him and have been waiting for him and he is in way over his head.

Luckily he doesn't try and kick Stan out because the kids live here they're not leaving.

He doesn't really try to be authority figure at first or jump into parenting he doesn't outright avoid them but, he is avoiding them. The twins now knowing about Bill being other dad and the relationship between them stop using other form/powers because they don't want to upset Ford.

Stan has to be responsible twin and basically has to go down and drag Ford out of his self imposed paranoia/planning to destroy evil Ex corner in basement and get him to spend time with his kids. He's stepped up and been the kids parental figure for a long time and he's made them talk out argument and is like 'Well great now I gotta parent myself and Ford...oh well can't do worse than our dad did' and basically makes them talk things out almost right away.

It doesn't go well but when you live with 2 half demon/euclidean twins... well they kinda get put in different dimensional area and have to talk it out.

So Stan and Ford get things sorted out. Ford still doesn't overrule or jump in he's freaking out he doesn't know how to parent. and Stan is basically having to encourage him and make sure he bonds with both of them letting them know all about the kids, and that the kids know about him and have been excited to meet him all of them have wanted him back.

It takes a while for Ford to bond with them, and let them know he loves all sides of them and even helps with how to use their powers doing experiments and stuff to help them and see what they can do.

When Ford dos finally go full on dad mode he gets very excited 'STANLEY DID YOU SEE THAT I DADED'

[saturna625]

You work at the Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls.

It's no big deal, really. I mean, every once in a while, you realize that it's gotta be a front for something. A cult, the illuminati, or the mafia, you weren't really sure.

You weren't paid enough to care, honestly.

But the job was fun enough, and the customers were cool to screw with, and it paid the bills, plus your coworkers were pretty cool.

Your boss was.... an odd man, sure. A good con, a great sense of humor, and a mouth that could make a sailor blush, but you wouldn't say he's evil.

He's got a great nephew and niece, who come up every summer. They're chill, too. Mabel sends you home with at least two new stickers every day. Your binder is getting too full. But you didn't mind, the kid was sweet. You'd find a use for these stickers, later.

Gravity Falls was an odd town, but you didn't really seem to mind that either. A little town, barely even a dot on the state map, hidden behind back roads upon back roads in the great state of Oregon. It had its moments, and it's stories.

You were decently sure the lawn gnome in your garden moved on its own, and your attic was definitely haunted (you regret mentioning that to the kids– you've found that Dipper kid trying to look up where you lived), but it was cheap and homey, and a great place to live after scraping past college.

Then your boss– who was really your boss's brother? Who had taken up his name, when he disappeared, the ultimate con, you actually admired him for that– Stanley, and his twin, the original owner of the Shack, Stanford emerged from behind the vending machine, you knew that you were maybe in a little too deep. Mafia ties, for sure.

Then quite some events happen: ie, the sky splits open, you become a statue for a hot minute, and then... aren't, anymore (dude, the squirrel that you treat as your therapist is gonna go wild when he hears this) and you're back at the Shack.

The building is warmer now. Pointdexter– or Ford, the actual one, is a pretty good man. A little blunt, with not much common sense for the amount of books smarts he has, but good.

If you find anything weird, or out of place, it's his.

If you see him fighting an interdimensional squid, and then you're told there's seviche in the kitchen, you don't question it.

And you take some seviche to go.

The shack is a little louder since Ford's arrival. Stan seems happy. Dipper too. And Mabel, well, she still gives you stickers as you leave your shift.

You're on a walk, something you read that could help with coping, through the woods. The weather is nice today, and for once, it's not raining, and even better, the air is crisp and cool.

You decide to take a new trail. It leads into a bit of a clearing, you can see a rock piling, some flowers, and a creek. It's pretty.

You take your journal out, a small, leatherbound thing (the inside cover is coated with stickers. Mabel, please) and begin to sketch it, a hobby you've picked up in the last months.

You're not the best, but you're not the worst, either. As you're finishing up, you spot a weird shift in the rocks.

Weird is normal here.

So you get up to go investigate, holding your journal at the ready, like a defensive position.

The statue does not move.

It looks like the illuminati symbol. Like the top of the pyramid on the back of a dollar bill. It's overgrown with moss, but you do not recognize it. It's hand is held out, like it's ready to shake yours.

Heh. That would be pretty funny.

If you shook the statue's hand.

It's what it wants. Shake it's hand. Shake the hand.

You draw the statue. It's a shoddy deal, but you actually enjoyed how it turned out. It looks cool.

The hand is outstretched.

You leave one of Mabel's stickers on the statue. It looks a little less intimidating that way.

Your shift starts in twenty minutes, so you tuck your journal in your jacket, and you're off to it.

Maybe you'll come back later. There's a bit more you want to do with the drawing.

Shake the hand.

You've gotta fix the angle on it. You wonder how the sculptor got it to be that way.

You clock in, and pull your journal out again, as Dipper walks through the doors, followed by Ford.

The younger twin asks what your journal is about. He's got a few of his own.

"Kind of random." You tell him. "I draw things I see on my walks, or write down recipes, or stuff like that. Dude, wait until I show you this statue I found in the woods. It'll fit right in with those notebooks you keep..."

[crackedhrglass]

i was asked another question on my strawpage that i felt needed a meta to properly explain my feelings, so i'm putting it here. i apologize if it gets rambly and isn't entirely coherent lol.

ford, to me, is selfish, blinded by his own obsession with global recognition, and morally questionable at times (moreso than stan) but not an outright bad person.

i think he's an overall good person with an extremely skewed worldview. he's def not bad compared to people like gideon, preston northwest, or even his own dad, but his motivations are morally ambiguous and he tends to put his own selfish obsession with global recognition, fame, and glory over the feelings and safety of those closest to him.

an argument could be made that much of his behavior can be attributed to trauma and his upbringing (his deformity, his relationship with filbrick, his social ineptitude, his fallout with stan, his violent physical & psychological abuse at the hands of bill, his experiences while dimension-hopping), though that by no means excuses it, nor is it justified. in fact, i think fans who aggressively defend ford's objectively toxic and selfish behavior with "he's been through a lot!! he's traumatized!" do his character arc a huge disservice.

ford wasnt just a scientist that was obsessed with answers for the sheer sake of knowledge and betterment of humanity—he specifically wanted to be PRAISED and officially recognized for his findings, he wanted to be added to history books, he wanted people to know HE was the one who made those discoveries, which is what makes his treatment of fiddleford during their partnership so abhorrent IMO.

he refused to destroy the portal (despite nearly losing his friend and lab partner to it) and likewise refused to simply burn/destroy his journals, both instances bc of his own stubborn pride, not bc of some noble desire to benefit mankind (or save someone ELSE, like in stan's case for restarting the portal).

whether intentional or not, he projected his own feelings and relationship with stan so harshly onto dipper that he was the indirect catalyst for their fallout in DAMVTF.

ford did more than simply offer dipper an apprentice position. he planted the seed in dipper's mind that mabel was suffocating and holding him back (despite barely knowing them or their unique relationship), because that's how he viewed stan.

he didnt just suspect that there may be potential fallout between them, he fully anticipated it, yet still thought he was doing dipper a favor by driving a wedge between them. he couldnt see past his own bitterness towards stan and ended up pressuring an impressionable 12-year-old to make a life-changing decision, one that also drove mabel right into bill's trap.

the lesson ford was meant to learn at the end of weirdmageddon was that he is NOT the selfless, noble hero he always envisioned himself as. he was a closed-off, arrogant loner who let his delusional perception of himself and who he wanted to be push everyone who mattered away and make it easy for bill to use him for his own evil purposes. ford was so stuck in this headspace that he needed a literal apocalypse and losing the one person who never stopped loving him unconditionally for him to finally pull his head out of his ass and change.

stan was the hero ford always imagined he was destined to be.

yet, despite ALL of this, there was a repressed part of him buried deeep, DEEEEP down that still held stan and their childhood close to his chest throughout his entire life. he wrote about stan in his journal constantly, he wrote that he missed him in college using their bro code (meaning he didnt want fidds to know about stan and he wrote it solely for himself), he saved a polaroid of stan in his journal and memorized his business phone number, and of course, he kept that childhood photo LITERALLY next to his heart throughout all his travels.

this is more headcanon-ish than actual canon, but i feel like ford felt angry at himself for never being able to fully leave stan behind, despite how much he "wanted" to, or how much he believed he SHOULD'VE wanted to. after all, stan was the one who sabatoged ford's future. he's the one who ruined everything between them, yet here ford was, still missing him and having second thoughts about shutting him out of his life, which only made him want to shut stan out even more.

his father and principal instilled in him that stan was a worthless fuck-up that only rode his coattails and held him back.

bill, his muse, the sun in his galaxy, tried to convince him to forget about stan and their past.

and ford tried.

but he couldn't.

even at his most resentful, even when he was fighting god-knows-what in multiple dimensions for THIRTY YEARS, he never let go of that photo. and i think that alone speaks volumes about his character.

[starsfic]

Gravity Falls fic idea from a dream: Bill captures the zodiacs for some evil purpose, but Dipper manages to escape capture.

Now the pine tree has to rescue the others from Cipher while the triangle tries to find him.

Just gotta make it to the edge.

Just gotta make it to the edge.

Just gotta make it-

Dipper Pines was so fucking glad Stan had helped him figure out a new workout schedule with what the Manotaurs had taught him. Some of their stuff had been good, but some of it, according to Stan, could hurt him if he pushed himself too hard too fast. Right now, all he cared about was how fast he was running.

The Zodiac plan had fallen apart as soon as it came together.

The Zodiac was Bill's only way out of Gravity Falls, of breaking the barrier, without Ford, and he had lured them there. Ford hadn't even seen that trap and he probably knew Cipher the best out of all of them.

Dipper prayed to the gods, whoever was listening, that Mabel was okay. She barely had time to stuff her grappling hook and spray glitter in his hands before she shoved him out the window.

"COME ON OUT, MASON!" He had never heard Bill refer to him as anything beyond 'Pine Tree' and it was terrifying. "ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, YOU'RE HELPING ME RIP OPEN THAT BARRIER-"

"BILLY!"

The scream was enough to make Dipper trip as he looked around, wondering where the woman was dying. Because it sounded like a woman, an older woman, was dying in horrible pain and screaming Bill's name in one last desperate hope to live. Above him, Bill had suddenly gone quiet.

And then he wasn't.

"WHERE ARE YOU?!" Bill screamed, his body transforming into a bloody red. "WHOEVER'S BRIGHT FUCKING IDEA WAS THIS-" Holy shit, Dipper had never heard Bill swear. "-TO USE HER VOICE-"

Dipper scrambled to his feet. He had room now that Bill was distracted, but that didn't mean the other crazy demons hadn't stopped-

He ran into someone. He stumbled back, raising a fist up, and a hand wrapped around his fist. Dipper's eyes opened and he gaped. "M-Mr. Strange?"

Tad Strange, no longer placidly smiling, grabbed his wrist. "We have to move," He said. "While William's distracted, come on-" Dipper followed along, seeing the trees part to reveal the edge of town. The barrier was showing itself, probably some of Bill's friends pounding on it, but behind it was a blue car.

Dipper felt Tad grab the back of his vest, rear his arm back, and throw him.

He was sent flying heads over heels. He felt the barrier wrap around him, holding on, recognizing one of the members-

And then he was out.

Dipper gasped, taking his first breath in a few days of non-smoky air. He looked up at the car to see a small blonde woman, blue sleeves rolled up to reveal scarred hands. Her blue eyes were locked on the barrier. Then she blinked and looked down.

Her smile was more of a snarl, but Dipper found he didn't mind. His smile was the same nowadays.

"You're okay," she said. "We're gonna make sure everyone's okay."

He wished he could believe her.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Dude, My Babysitter Is A Ghost AU

AKA the Gravity Falls Danny Phantom crossover, and why it should have more content because IMAGINE the HIJINKS:

First, the sheer fucking Horror of Vlad and Gideon meeting, can you EVEN imagine?!?

But then also imagine the stupidest triangle in the world with; Stan trying to scam Vlad out of his money, Vlad trying to scam Ford out of his ideas, and Ford helping Mable matchmake his brother the con with the other scammer.

Why? well - "They'll kill each other or they'll kiss, maybe both." "Sounds romantic!" "Sounds disgusting, actually. But at least they'll leave me alone so, let's do it." "That's the spirit, sorta! Great to have you on board Grunkle Ford!"

Then you have Sam interacting with the teen squad and she fucking hates Robbie for being such a poser and a jerk, she barely gets along with any of them tbh except obviously Wendy and, perhaps less obviously, Thompson.

It's nor like Danny and Tucker don't hang out with the teen squad, but they've got their own things going on.

Danny has his hands full with the twins and their friends, not to mention the mystery shack as a whole.

Tucker took an apprenticeship with McGucket and now they are so ahead of the curve it's wild.

Jazz bonds with Wendy over being older sisters and with Dipper and Ford over science, but real goal is to help the town.

After the "never mind all that" act was repelled, people have been able to talk about their weirdmageddon experiences.

However, talking about it brought back unpleasant memories, and with the blind eye society gone those memories were there to stay.

That meant having to deal with supernatural trauma, for the first time in the case of many people in gravity falls, and luckily as a resident of Amity Park and a student of psychology, she wants to offer her support in any way she can.

Her help is not professional but it's very useful and she's about the only expert on the subject, able to help both the human townies who have dealt with the supernatural, and the supernatural residents witn their own complex issues.

Pacifica takes ass kicking lessons from Valerie and learns how to go from rich bitch who bosses people around to do her dirty work for her, to bad bitch who takes charge of her own life, can handle situations and gets 👏🏻 shit 👏🏻 done👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻.

She also recognizes Sam as Fellow old money with mommy and daddy issues and a crush on a nerdy loser dork who's too cute and smart and sassy for their soft hearts, despite their rough exterior, so they have an ✨️understanding✨️

There's so much more I can say, but I'll leave it here for now.

[f4llingst4rb0y]

Ok so I have this idea for a Gravityfalls au and I'm a little obsessed with the idea right now so let me know if anyone wants to hear more about it 😖

(I have no idea if anyone's done this yet, but if so pls lmk bc I'd love to see it)

ANYWAY HERE IT IS, ENJOY WHILE I WORK ON HOMEWORK!!!!

Basically, it's an au where Dipper and Mabel get kicked out at sixteen by their stepmom(?) and end up walking around before ending up in front of a house where Emma-May Dixion (Fiddleford's ex/Tates mom) lives.

She takes them in and she calls Tate down from GravityFalls to help her find a place for these two kids and he recognizes the two from when they spent a couple summers down in GravityFalls, so he says he'll take them there so they can stay with their great uncles.

Obviously, the twins are like excited and happy to go to GravityFalls to see their grunkles, and so Tate does as he said, promising his mom he'll keep her updated.

Over the journey back to Oregon, they all sorta bond, and it's nice even though Dipper is tense and very guarded while Mabel is just happy to go to a proper home. When they arrive the twins are greeted by worried grunkles and questions by their friends on why they're back in the fall instead of the summer, they don't say much but enough to let them know it wasn't good.

During the course of the twins settling in the shack, it's really complicated. Now that soos and his grandmother are living in the shack and Ford and Stan as well, it's incredibly crowded. Especially with Fiddleford coming around at times, mostly to check on the younger twins, but still.

Mabel eventually feels pretty good after a couple of days, but Dipper, on the other hand, is super tense and quiet. The only person who can get him to answer a question or to talk is Mabel, and it's really awkward for everyone in the house who isn't used to Dipper being so..different.

Later on, the Mcguckets and Pines make a small outing plan in celebration of the twins being safe and everything going well.

They end up hanging out by the lake where Tate works, and Dipper separates himself from the group because it's all just too much for him.

Dippers, too, in his head to realize Tate is sitting next to him, and when he does, he jumps and sort of just watches him from the corner of his eye.

The two make small talk, which soon morphs into them talking about family and fathers and all kinds of things. It doesn't take long for Tate to get attached to the two twins, they're really great kids.

Soon enough the conversation of how the grunkles most likely cannot be their legal gaurdians comes up and the twins are like devastated, but here comes Tate suggesting he could take em in.

Mostly because if he does, they'd still be related if Fiddleford and Stan are together. So really it's not a bad plan at all, Mabel is loving it because she honestly loves spending time with the man and she thinks it'd be nice to get him as a dad and be able to call Fiddleford grandpa.

Dipper, though, freaks out. Internally of course because he doesn't want to bring his sister down but he's secretly terrified because yeah Tate is a cool guy and he's super nice and his dad is also cool but at the same time he kinda barely knows the guy and he hates the idea of some guy just taking him and his sister away from his grunkles.

Like yeah he knows Tate will most likely let them see their grunkles but he's also terrified because he's started to like Tate and he's caught himself a few times thinking of what it'd be like to have him as a dad but he pushed the thought away as soon as it came.

It's not like he was scared that when Tate does adopt them and legally gets to be their father and all that, hell regret it. Dipper knows he's stubborn, knows he lashes out when he's upset, how he assumes the worst in almost any scenario, how he can't do anything like his sister.

Dipper knows that once Tate takes them in, he'll see how Mabel is the better twin, and he'll kick Dipper out and then never want to see him again. But no, Dipper is not scared of any of that. Whatsoever.

It takes a couple of fights and a few breakdowns, but they get there, Tate adopts the twins and makes them official McGuckets.

They all celebrate with a small party and it's a little rough, Dipper hasn't called Tate dad yet but that's ok because Tate is a patient man and he knows it's a hard transition anyway.

But when the time comes when Dipper finally calls Tate "dad," he most certainly doesn't cry.

[euclydya]

Good evening. Is there anything on your mind you feel like sharing with all of us? We can't think of any questions to ask but we still wanted to give you space to ramble if you want to. Heard any new good songs recently?

We said we'd make a sign off so... 🐀🌊. It's normally what we use

oh!!! hello friends, we recognize y'all from our stim blog!! :D

LET'S SEEEEEE hmmmmm. new songs!! yes!! Soooooooo Grunkle Stan's been getting into The Crane Wives recently and their music is really good!! He's a big fan of the songs Time Will Change You and Sleeping Giants!! Those two are becoming collective favourite songs I think! I personally haven't fronted enough to find any new music or really build a music taste for myself tbh dhhdsjdjdjsjd but let's seeeeee I think nearly everyone else in the roster has a favourite song so I'll list em.

Grunkle Flo really likes Mr. Capgras by Will Wood!! not a NEW song to us really, we've collectively been a will wood fan for a few years now, but it's new to her and it's super important to her!!

an acquaintance recently introduced us to the song The Woods by San Fermin and Bill has latched onto it!! It's really calming at the beginning and then gets super loud and powerful sounding halfway through!!

I'm trying to figure out what Fids' favourite song is, he has like... Multiple tied for his favourite it seems! But I know a song that's super important to him is 2012 by Will Wood! As you can tell we're all,, Huge fans of his music LMAO

I don't think Will has a favourite song yet! Dude usually spends His time up front sleeping tbh. He usually perks up when Personal Lies by Djo plays though!

Aaaaaandddd Dipper and I DO have a playlist but it's verrrryyyy bare bones rn. But one song Dipper enjoys is Fuck It by MISSIO. Really high energy and fun!!

oH!! Grunkle Stan also really likes Twilight Zone by Golden Earring!! He says the guitar in it is really fun!

-Mabel

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Starlight, Star-bright

ai-less whumptober2023 day 20- dehumanization/Stockholm syndrome fandom- Danny phantom TW- medical torture summary- Danny wants to look up at the stars

ao3 ailesswhumptober masterlist part 5 of SIANT

They pull him out the next day. He stays limp, he’s hardly been able to move at all. He barely registers that he’s being carried instead of put into the rolling cage. He leans further into the chest of the person holding him, trying to get as much warmth as he can. 

When the hands place him down on the table, he whimpers. 

He’s so cold.

“Shhhh. You’re being so very good.” Danny leans into the hand that’s petting through his hair. 

Then the hand retreats and the restraints are placed around him.

“If you’re good,” he hears, “I’ll let you watch another space documentary.”

Danny feels the smallest burst of energy.

Space. Stars. Countless constellations and black holes, stars being birthed and dying in an endless cycle, swirling galaxies, the James Web space probe, he wonders how far out its floated, zero gravity, 0 kelvin temperature, the quasi-stellar object, unexplored planets where no human has set first, he could be the first, comets trailing through space, asteroid belts, dark matter, polaris, Baham, Pegasus, Baten Kaitos, Cetus, Beid, Eridanus, Bellatrix, Orion, Little Dipper, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, and so many more.

Pain flares from his arm. He can’t tell what they’re doing. He can’t move. HIs arm feels like it's on fire.

“It’s reactivating negatively to test 1A. Signs of discomfort, flushed color, injection sight is swollen.”

“Wait five minutes and then we’ll check again.”

Space, space. Think about space.

Orion, Polaris, black holes, the James Web, galaxies, mars rover.

Another injection made him writhe.

Everything hurt.

“Test 3A complete. Move on to 3B.

Planets, galaxies, the moon.

He screamed behind his teeth.

Stars, space.

Why didn’t they stop?

Space.

“Prepare for test 4C.”

Danny drifted.

----------------------------

When Danny next becomes aware, he hears the sounds of a space documentary in the background. He wishes he were strong enough to open his eyes. 

“It trains up nicely, don't you think?” says a voice he doesn’t recognize.

“Yes.” says Agent E.

“And it’s so interesting that even with its powers blocked it can still heal when indulging in it’s obsession.”

“At least it’s a simple enough one to provide. Imagine getting stuck with a ghost whose obsession is some kind of action, like that singing ghost.”

“Yes, that would have been tedious. Good work, getting it to admit it's an obsession.”

“It wasn’t difficult. Like most animals it responds well to a gentle hand.”

Danny wants them to be quiet. He wants to listen to the program talk about space. If he can just ignore them, he can pretend he’s back at home listening to one of his shows.

He loves space.

[sanddusted-wisteria]

A Builder, a Researcher, and a Rooftop, Ch. 2: Polaris

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Also on AO3

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The builder frowned at the mess of stars above their head. They could barely make out any constellations that they recognized. Yeah, there was the Little Dipper on their left with the North Star, and the cross of Cygnus in the middle of the Milky Way, but what else?

The builder glanced over at Qi, silently staring up as always. He would know more, right? If he was looking for a telescope, he had to. Despite their burning curiosity, they hesitated. They agreed to be silent when they were up here. And Qi liked his quiet. Maybe he wouldn’t be as annoyed if they piped up with something relevant…?

“You know any interesting stars to see?” The words were out of their mouth before they could think it over more.

“Of course,” Qi replied, seemingly not bothered by the broken silence. “I charted out Sandrock’s star maps myself.”

“Wait, maps? You can make maps out of the sky??”

“Er, yes. Is that not common knowledge?”

“Uh, no. For you, maybe.”

Qi stared at them for a second. Then he stood up and headed towards the stairs. “Excuse me…”

Well. Alright. That stupid a question, huh? The builder huffed.

But just before they could get up and leave themself, they heard footsteps coming back up. Qi soon re-emerged, carrying a couple rolls of paper in his hands.

“So. Do you know how the stars appear to move through the sky in the span of a single night?”

“They move in a circle, right? Around the North Star.”

“Correct. The Earth’s axis of rotation happens to point almost directly towards Polaris, so as the planet rotates, the stars appear to move in a circle with Polaris at its center. At least, in our hemisphere.

“So, with a known fixed point in the sky, tracking and predicting the position of any other celestial body becomes trivial. And with the periodic nature of the Earth’s revolution around the Sun, we can extrapolate our charts to future years as well. Beautiful and orderly science.”

The builder nodded. Made sense so far…

“Hm… What time is it?”

“Dunno.”

“Perfect. Let me show you how to read these. Then you can tell the time even with no clock!” He unrolled one of the papers, revealing a diagram of sorts. A large circle encapsulated a massive cluster of dots and lines, marking stars and constellations. The builder scanned the page, recognizing a couple of the names: Polaris, Cygnus, Cassiopeia, Sirius…

Qi pointed at the center of the circle. “Different star maps are charted based on location and time. The stars will look different for every possible combination of the two, so we base and center them off the zenith.”

“Which is?”

“What’s directly above our heads.” The builder craned their neck to look straight upward. “Therefore, given the right map, you can find any visible celestial body using the point directly overhead as a guide. Simple, yes?”

“Lemme try…” Qi handed them the chart. They looked at the chart, then back at the sky. Then back at the chart. Then back at the sky. They couldn’t see anything that looked remotely like any of the formations on the chart… “I uh, can’t match this up.”

“Perhaps it’s the wrong time, then. This one is for 10 PM.” He unrolled another scroll. “This is 11 PM. See if it’s any closer.”

Once again, they tried reading the chart. Their neck was starting to hurt. The constellation “Hercules…” Guy with a club… The zenith was next to his shoulder, right? They couldn’t place it on the 10 PM one, but…

“I think this might be the right one. I think.”

Qi glanced over their shoulder. “You might be right. I’d estimate it’s about 5 to 10 minutes off, but I don’t have charts down to the minute.”

“Nice. Must be how the ancients told time. Lot of work, though.”

“Indeed. Ancient civilizations painstakingly developed their time systems based on astronomical observations across whole generations. Charting these out manually without any assistance gave me a heightened sense of appreciation for their efforts.”

“How many of these do you even have?” they said as they handed the chart back. “Don’t tell me you made one for every hour of every night.”

“Why would I not? A full log needs as many entries as possible. If I was physically capable, I would do one for every minute as well, but alas, I have to settle for every hour.”

The builder was gobsmacked. “And you just…stayed up all night, every night, drawing these out.”

“Of course,” said Qi. “Good science demanded it.” At the builder’s continued look of horror, he added, “If you’re concerned over my work schedule, I’m happy to report that you have nothing to worry about. I am both willing and capable of working incredibly late to get pertinent discoveries done faster. Despite Sandrock only having a single researcher, you can rest assured that the research center is making progress at a rate comparable to, if not exceeding, that of some of the other Free Cities.”

The builder blinked. “Wh–? No, no. You went an entire damn year without getting a single night of sleep?!”

“I adjusted my schedule to sleep in the daytime. Provided, of course, it did not excessively interfere with my daytime work.”

“And that was how many hours a day?”

“On average, about 3 to 4 hours. The amount didn’t change, I just moved it elsewhere.”

“Ah. Well,” the builder said as they took in his words, accompanied with the almost comically flat expression on his face. If it was anyone other than Qi, the builder fully would’ve expected him to burst out laughing and proclaim it all a joke. “That…does not sound healthy.”

Qi waved a hand dismissively. “It’s not what those in the medical field recommend, for certain, but it works. It maximizes my work output. I’ve run the numbers.”

“Okay…numbers are one thing, but you can probably try to sleep like, a normal amount sometimes, y’know? I work a lot faster whenever I get a full 8 hours.”

Qi shook his head. “A single anecdote is far from decent evidence to prove a claim. If you hypothesize that a regular 8-hour-a-night sleep schedule would increase my productivity, you would need to perform a proper controlled experiment to test that, run the appropriate statistical analysis, and produce a well-written report with literature review and a logical explanation of the implications of any statistical significance.”

“...Huh?”

“Exactly.”

The builder rolled their eyes and sighed. “Well, just keep what I said in mind, I guess.” Qi just hummed in vague acknowledgment.

The builder’s brow furrowed, their lips drawn in a firm line. An experiment, huh? Everything this guy did had to be about science. They shook their head in resignation and filed the thought away in the back of their head. It itched at them ever so slightly, even as they went home for the night, and into the light of the new day.

------------

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[cozycryptidcorner]

1000 words of an unedited awkward soulmate interaction.

You are six years old, sitting on hard pavement next to your father’s tool box, clumsily reading the crusty, peeling masking tape labels stuck to the rusting metal. The scent of hot electricity tastes like acid in the air, it’s a broiling January morning with no sign of rain. The atmosphere is so dry it singes the inside of your nose, even with the filter rumbling so loud that it drowns out the stereo’s music. 

You squint at your father’s rigid handwriting, trying to decipher it. His upper half is hidden beneath a jacked, bright red hovercar, his calloused hand reaching in your direction. 

“Sound it out, mija,” he instructs. Despite his enormous frame, he’s yet to raise his voice at you, always holding a calm, gentle tone, especially during moments like these. 

“Pry bar,” you say, drawing out the non-existing syllables. 

“Two words,” your father helpfully informs. “The first is pry. Puh-puh-puh, the sound of…”

“P,” you say confidently, using your pointer finger to locate the first letter of every label. 

“Puh-rei, rei, rei?” 

P, R, your tiny prain’s synapses are firing rapidly, trying to find the pairing of letters. Pry bar. Puh-rei-eye, P, R, Y. Your fingers close around the handle of a tool, not quite satified that you got it right, but needing to commit to an answer. 

Before you can hand it over to your father, the earth itself shakes, the cement cracking and rippling with force. You try to stand but fall back, your tailbone spiking with pain, your father shouting in desperation. 

The overhead light falls. 

_______________________________

You are still six years old. The ground beneath you shifts slightly, and you realize you are standing on a beach, surrounded by honey colored sand. You cannot see the water though, nor hear the waves, only hear the sound of wind weaving its way through the dunes. Three moons hang heavy by the horizon, the color of the sky like pancake syrup and the pink frosting.

When you turn, your bare toes sinking into the sand, you see a rainbow bubble in the far distance. Hovercars and cargo ships line descend and ascend into the bubble- which you now recognize as some kind of shielded city. 

You’ve seen those before, never having set foot in one, though your father always promising to move you to the nearest some day. A place where you don’t have to check your bed for cockroaches every night, can drink as much clean water as your stomach can handle, and with gardens covering every building so no one grows hungry.

(you might miss the biggest cockroach you named Dipper, though. Maybe you’ll take him with you.)

You take a step but slide forward slightly, the distant sun casting a sharp shadow down onto-

A boy. A girl? You narrow your eyes, running your tongue over the gap where a lost baby tooth should be. 

You purposely sink a little more forward, and they look up at the noise, startled. 

“I’m lost,” you say, remembering the rigid script your father gave you, should this very situation arise, “do you know of a nearby responsible adult?”

They stare at you like you’re a fairy princess, and you’re not. Maybe you look like one, with the dusty tulle skirt and old paper ‘birthday girl’ crown you kept from last year, but you’re rather irritated with their silence. 

Before you can say anything, though, they stiffens their lower lip and look away. 

“I can’t help you,” they say, accent so complicatedly warbled that you barely understand a word they say, “I’m running away.” 

You stomp your foot, though because of the sand, it doesn’t have the required effect of communicating your frustration.

"I can’t find my daddy. I wasn’t here-” you look around, realizing that you should be somewhere else. “... before.” 

They’re hiding in the shadows of a dune, their skin bright pink and flaking, blond hair rubbed dull with the sand. You immediately recognize heat poisoning, your own mother having had the exact same symptoms with her fair skin and short build before she went to fly with the stars. 

Quickly, you scoot down, sand finding its way under the hem of your leggings and scratching your bare ankles. Their skin is hot to touch, and they seem affronted that you dare press your fingers against their forehead. Your breath quickens, realizing that they need help you can’t provide, just like how your own mother needed help your father couldn’t give. 

You burst into tears, looking over your shoulder for assistance.  No grown-ups, just you, your dusty tutu skirt, your gritted teeth, and a dying kid. 

So you sit next to them, looking at the iridescent bubble of a city in the distance. Their eyes are blue, just like the holos that tell you if playing outside is okay or not. Like the sky of the Earth in the old storybooks and photos from when your grandma was a baby. 

“Do you have a safety button?” you ask, because you do, one left on the payment counter of your father's shop... though it's rigged to only alert your father, not the blue-uniformed piggies. 

They look at you, pupils small. “I lost it.” 

But there’s a shining glimmer so close to you in the sand, and you retrieve it. Despite their angry pleas, you press the alert button, and you-

____________________

Six years old, laying on the floor of your father’s auto shop, a stolen, chipped car crumpled from falling on its side.

“Papi?” you ask, warily. Red stains his shirt, face, and beard. His chest is heaving, and despite the empty feeling in your head, you know something’s wrong. 

“Mija,” he says, relief flooding his face, someone else tending to the sore spot on your head. “There you are, mi preciosa.” 

He’s holding you with his left hand, his right tucked behind his back. No. No, something is wrong, it’s not tucked, his sleeve is carefully tied-

“How are you feeling? Any pain in your head?” it’s someone else, someone with dusty green fatigues. Her bright blue gloves massage your hair around, as if looking for something specific. Something crunches inside your ear and she pauses, sharp breath from all around. 

“Stay still, mija,” your father says, “my darling baby girl. Just for a little longer.” 

oh well!!!!! time to take my anger out on a fictional man i literally just made up because im mad at an irl one.

[penname-artist]

I know that a lot of people such as you and I wanted to see characters from both Planes movies in Cars on the Road but unfortunately didn’t get that! I’m just curious to know what did you wanted to see of them if they did show up?

In all honesty, I would have lost it with any form of cameo or even the vague mention of the Planes films, as small as Mater mentioning his visit to Propwash Junction that one time. Even a little cameo of Dusty would have had me over the moon and losing my shit.

But in a perfect world? I'd want Piston Peak. Nothing gives me more goosebumps than the thought of Lightning and Mater taking another side road and going down through California while looping back to Radiator Springs, just to stop at THE Piston Peak National Park on the way home. And can you just imagine the cinematography!?

They're having a great, peaceful time in the campground, when suddenly, fire! There's a raging fire so close to their camp there's smoke, so they try to leave the area, and perhaps they're either lost or stuck, or both. Deere go running past them. It feels close, too close. This is bad.

And then you hear them.

Just that faint rumble of aircraft engines, the beating of heavy rotors, a slate grey wing barely visible through the trees, and the silhouette of the familiar fire crew geared and ready.

Lightning and Mater turn to watch the scene above them, airplanes and helicopters lined up for drops, and others parachuting down to their location. Avalanche rumbles through to them, "HELLO!" as Dynamite pulls beside him, "You three head back towards the Lodge, we'll handle this!" and as Avalanche leads them from the fire - with Mater following closely - Lightning can't help but pause to look back at the aerial firefighters risking their lives for them...

So who knows. Maybe they want to go back so that they can thank them. And, you know. Run into Maru waving a wrench in their faces to clear off...wellllll, until Dipper recognizes Lightning, anyways.

[unculturedmamoswine]

Okay @gravitasfalls's great post about Ford and Filbrick has got me wanting to make a post about how Ford's alienation from his family is a key part of how Stan was able to take over Ford's life. Stan mentions that he lied to Dipper and Mabel's parents about his identity, and we know he must have also fooled Shermie, since he and Stan were both present at Dipper and Mabel's birth. And like... there's no way that works at all unless Ford was already so divorced from his family that they basically didn't even know him.

In Journal 3, Ford mentions Stan more than he mentions his parents, and hasn't even seen Stan in over a decade. There's no mention of talking to Caryn and Filbrick recently, no particular implication that they know what he's researching or how they feel about it. I think their general lack of interest in Ford's interests, plus Filbrick's obvious belief that money=success, plus Ford's 'independence at all costs' mentality combined to make Ford into one of those adults who has little to no relationship with his parents. Doesn't call, doesn't write, and neither do they.

(It makes me wonder what it must have been like for Stan to assume the role of Ford. Did he expect that he'd suddenly be called upon to play the favorite child and field calls from his parents? What did he think when that never happened? Did he even ever see them again? Did they even call to check up on him after "Stanley" "died"? Did he have to be the one to call and tell them?)

As far as Shermie is concerned, while I love older brother Shermie, I really think we're supposed to read Shermie as being the baby. So with that reading, it wouldn't surprise me if Ford and Shermie barely ever even met until Stan-as-Ford re-entered his life. And it's possible that the only interaction Stan and Shermie had before that was when Shermie was a baby before Stan got kicked out, so Stan didn't even have to try to pretend to be Ford, personality-wise, because Shermie didn't even know what his dead brother Stan was like, or what his weird scientist(?) brother Ford was like.

Dipper and Mabel's dad would have not been born yet when Ford went through the portal, so Ford never met him, that's an easy one to make sense of.

It's just so weird and sad that Ford was so totally alone in the world that he could disappear and be replaced by a guy who, let's face it, doesn't try that hard to impersonate him. All Stan does is go by Ford's name, he doesn't pretend to be into science (as evidenced by the fact that neither Dipper nor Mabel ever mentions knowing that 'Stan' went to college and used to be a scientist), he doesn't do a Ford voice, he doesn't have six fingers (and nobody thinks that's weird)... I know that part of that is the whole point of Ford's character (he doesn't value his family or other relationships and he's self-obsessed) but it's just so creepy and sad to imagine a person being so replaceable and pulling so far away from his family that they don't recognize him or miss him when he's gone.

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.6

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

ch.5 - ch.7 (finale)

~~~~~~~~~~

The air was still quite nippy and crisp, but the afternoon sun sparkled on the white snow and made the atmosphere pleasant to stand in if the Main Sequence Star was shining directly on a living organism, like it was on Stan from where he stood on the porch. He sighed tiredly as he dug into his hoodie’s pocket for a fresh cigar and lit it with his Zippo-style lighter. He knew he probably shouldn’t smoke with a kid in the house, but after the few days he’s had, he needed and had well earned a smoke-break.

The door opened and Stan hid his cigar by his side, his right arm glued to his hip to hide the newcomer on his left, but when he saw it was an adult, he relaxed and took another puff. “M’trying to quit.” He mumbled.

Ford snickered. “Yeah, it looks like you’re trying really hard.”

“Don’t be shitty.” Stan said casually.

“Mind if I lend one? I can replenish you in a few minutes.”

Stan stared at his goody two-shoes of a twin and handed him a cigar and the lighter. “You smoke?”

“Not often. For a celebration or after a long day.” Ford answered as he lit his borrowed cigar. “Maybe twice a month. Thrice?”

“Huh.”

Ford looked down at the lighter in his hand, and he was surprised when he recognized it. He can clearly remember seeing the tiny silver box in a store and thinking Stanley would like it as a Only One More Year of High-School present. “I gave this to you.”

Stan smiled as he took it back and pocketed it. “Yeah, it’s a good lighter. Only needed to change the flint a few times.”

“Hey guys!” A small voice called from inside the house. “Do you like vanilla or chocolate?”

The twins looked at each other, smiled, and called back. “Both. Both is good!”

“Both it is!”

Stan chuckled and shook his head. “Knucklehead… I knew she had to be family just by looking at her!” He bragged proudly.

“I suppose I was too distracted by the fact that a cold girl was at my doorstep to recognize the family resemblance.” Ford reasoned, shrugging. “I wanted to make sure I did the right thing. I didn’t exactly feel like getting arrested for kidnapping.”

Stan barked a laugh. “Yeah, you got a good point.” The conman yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “Guess I’ll head out tomorrow.” He mentioned offhandedly.

Ford stared at him, a little saddened and disheartened by this fact that was news to him. “You’re leaving?”

“I mean, yeah?” Stan equally stared at his brother, confused and not daring to be hopeful, but still. “What?”

“I just…” Ford hesitated and busied his mouth by taking a hit of his cigar. With everything that has been said and how well he and Stan have been communicating, he really didn’t feel like ruining it now. He relaxed his shoulders and said with his eyes on the snowy woods. “I was really hoping you would stay.”

Stan looked dumbfounded, like a child discovering candy for the first time, but he looked away and down at the porch floor. “Oh.”

“I’ll of course be taking care of Mabel until Dipper comes back in time for her…”

“He might not.”

“We got over our grudges. They can do the same.” Ford said firmly. “Still, you have a point. Dipper might not be able to come back. Regardless, whether it’s for a short time, a long time, or for the rest of my life, I will take care of her. I might not be the best for her, I can acknowledge that…”

“C’mon, Sixer, don’t be like that.” Stan scolded lightly, giving a sympathetic look to the nerd. “What else can you do, y’know? There’s no way in hell you’re gonna give her up, I’ll kidnap her and run away to Canada before I let you…”

Ford laughed and waved a hand as he smiled. “No no, I promise I won’t.”

“Good.”

“The point is, she loves you. Clearly. And it takes two, and I’ll be busy with my research, especially once the snow melts and the anomalies become more active in the spring and summer, but…” Ford bit his lip. This was a bad idea. If he makes it seem that the only reason why Stan needs to be here is because of Mabel, if or when she’s gone, then Stan will have no reason to stay. And there were many reasons why Ford wanted Stan to stay.

Despite how much of a social-cripple Ford was, he knew that Stan was homeless. His frequent traveling and how full his car was right now was enough proof of that. And Ford hated that for his brother.

But there was another, bigger reason why Ford wanted Stan to stay. So he better just say it.

“Do you know why I went to Backupsmore?” Ford asked.

Stan’s facial expression darkened as he looked away and he shrugged. “Cuz I fucked up your project?”

“No,” Ford answered plainly. “I may not have been accepted into West Coast Tech, but there were so many other colleges that wanted me. I could apply to Yale or Harvard or any college from New York to California and instantly be accepted.

“But I didn’t.” The author added grimly. “Stanley, when you left… When you were gone, I was a mess. So many days I just lied in bed without meals or sleep. Ma was hysterical. I failed most of my exams and only barely scraped a C in the ones I didn’t fail. My GPA dropped significantly and I even lost my Honor Roll. Thankfully my past grades were enough to let me graduate with a 3.2, but my clean record was stained and a lot of prestigious colleges didn’t want me.

“All I wanted at that point was to get as far away from Glass Shard as possible. Luckily there was a small college outside of San Francisco that practically accepted everyone and had a wide range of studies to offer, so I applied and was accepted by graduation day.”

“Good for you.” Stan grunted.

“No! The point is, I…” Ford groaned, feeling like he was failing, but he had to try. “I understand if you don’t want to stay. I understand you have your own life and things you want to do, and I can live without you again if I have to, but… I really, really don’t want to. Yes, I know that part of growing up is going in different directions and being independent and all the other bells and whistles, but it doesn’t have to be. So, if you can tolerate living under the same roof as me again, and if you’re okay with it, I want to offer you a job.”

Stan raised an eyebrow at the six-fingered man. “What kinda job?”

“The committee gives me monthly boosts so I can continue my research. As long as I prove to them once a year that progress is being made, I have a good income coming in. It is a big job, exploring the large woods, climbing mountains and waterfalls, combing the lake, mapping the Enchanted Forest, and hunting down monsters and anomalies to learn more about them. I’ve always managed to make it out of trouble alright, but… I need a partner, and I want to keep it in the family.” Ford smiled at the last sentence.

“What are you saying?” Stan sneered, not daring to believe, not daring to hope, but that stupid smile Ford had…

“I’m saying I want you to do this with me, Stanley.” Ford said matter-of-factly. “I can share the grant with you after bills are paid and groceries are purchased. We can renovate the small room on the ground floor to be Mabel’s bedroom and you can have the entire attic as your own space.

“I know it’s not sailing around the world, but… Please. Will you give me another chance?” Ford pleaded with a soft smile.

Stan grinned and shook his head. “Shit, Sixer, you’re a better salesman than me.” He looked him in the eyes. “Okay. Yes. I’ll stay.”

Ford’s cheeks puffed with happiness as he smiled, his lips pressed together, and he looked ahead, happily daydreaming his future. Being surrounded by weirdness for a living was amazing by itself; doing it with his twin and raising their niece together on top of it was better than anything he could have imagined.

Stan was watching him and laughed good-naturedly, then held out a hand to him. Ford blinked at it like a startled owl, but then returned the smile and sealed the deal with a high-six.

Both brothers stood contently outside with their cigars for a minute, but then heard a bowl clatter on the floor. Mabel must be making a mess in the kitchen, which was fine.

What wasn’t fine was the sound that followed of a body falling on the floor.

Ford raised an eyebrow and called calmly, “Mabel, are you alright?”

They both expected a quick “yeah, sorry, I’m okay,” and maybe an explanation to follow, like she tripped getting down from a chair or something. But there was no reply.

“Mabel, sweetie?” Stan hollered, trying not to sound mad or scared or anything but cool-under-pressure, but this voice trembled with fear.

Still no answer.

Ford and Stan quickly discarded their cigars and bolted inside. Racing like children for cookies, they soon stood at the doorway of the kitchen and were horrified to find Mabel sprawled on the floor on her front, her hair scattered over her face to hide her expression, and her legs and bottom-half of her body slowly fading.

Literally. Fading. Mabel was fading away. She was disappearing like a stain on cloth.

“MABEL!” The men screamed and were immediately on their knees beside her. Ford scooped her up into his arms and felt her pulse and looked over her.

“What happened to her?!” Stan cried out. “Pumpkin, what’s wrong?!”

Ford’s eyes widened in panic as a horrifying realization slapped him in the face. “Mabel… You changed history.”

The tired girl nodded with her eyes closed. “If… If you guys had a fight… and never made up… in my timeline, then I guess…” Mabel paused to yawn tiredly. It didn’t hurt, but she was really sleepy now.“I guess that timeline doesn’t exist anymore, huh? I guess I don’t exist anymore.”

“WHAT?!” Stan yelled and took Mabel’s hand and squeezed it. “We have to do something! You’re family! You’re… We can’t just let you d- not exist!”

Ford held Mabel tighter and closer to his warm chest, making her smile. She swore she could hear his heartbeat. It was too fast. She would have to fix that. Poor Ford was also shaking like a leaf. Mabel could fix that, too.

“I’ll exist.” She smiled up at her uncles. “In a few years.”

Ford bit his lip. He shouldn’t ask this, it was probably dangerous to learn about the future, but the worst was already happening. What else could possibly happen that was worse than losing his girl? Ford couldn’t help but ask, “When?”

“August 31st, 1999.” Mabel’s eyes dazzled. “You’ll meet Dipper, too.” She shifted her eyes to only Stan and whispered, “Did you know you were there? You came to see us when we were born?”

Stan’s eyes watered as he smiled at the new piece of information. “I did?”

“You did. I came out first. You were so proud when I kicked the doctor in the jaw.”

Stan made a watery chuckle and wiped at his eye. “That’s my girl.”

“Dipper came next. He was blue. Umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.”

“Was he okay?” Stan asked.

“He was fine. You knew he would be. You never doubted.”

“I never will, pumpkin. I swear.”

The fading is now much worse. It was spreading over Mabel like a virus. Her legs were hardly visible to the naked eye, and even her shoulders were losing color. This Mabel is almost completely gone. 

Ford, pressed for time, bit his lip as tears flooded his eyes and he cupped Mabel’s cheek and cradled her. “I… I can’t let you go! We just started to become a real family! Wh-What am I going to do without you?!”

Mabel smiled and used the free hand not holding Stan’s trembling hand to caress Ford’s jaw and lower cheek, then cupping his face so her fingertips grazed his sideburn. “It’s okay, really. I’ll see you again, and next time it’ll be when both of you come to see us. Totally worth it.” 

Ford held his breath, and shut his eyes, a tear escaping from each eye and sitting comfortably in the corners of his windows to his soul. Stan hiccuped a laugh and rubbed her hand between both of his. Both of them were doing everything in their power not to cry. 

To that, Mabel laughed and said, “Boys are stupid. It’s okay to cry.”

The cursed power of Mabel. Making people be honest and breaking dams.

Ford curled into his niece, his face sloe to her heart, and cried gently. He wasn’t ready, but he didn’t think he could ever be ready for this.

Stan laughed with tears streaming down his face and he kissed Mabel’s tiny fingers trapped in his hold, then held their hands close to his bowed forehead and just focused on feeling her pulse between his palms.

It only lasted another minute.

Ford was mortified when his chest sank and his arms were empty. He threw himself back and stared at his lap and felt sick to his stomach to find his little girl missing.

Stan’s hands also clasped together and he squeezed tightly, his fists against his trembling lips as he cried.

The genius who always seemed to know what to do didn’t have a damn clue what to do with himself. He growled in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, then let out a painful howl and moan that most definitely disturbed birds and made a deer or two gallop farther away.

Ford removed his glasses and held his knees, sobbing his heart out. Stan blinked his tears off his eyes, resulting in them rolling down his face, as he watched his brother completely shatter to pieces. He had seen him upset before, sure; all those years of bullying, of Pa’s outbursts and sometimes physical punishments, hopelessness that he was actually worth something. You don’t spend seventeen years with a person and not see them break every so often, granted the blessing to help them put themselves back together again.

But Ford didn’t need Stan to swoop in and fix it. There were no bullies to punch or parents to stand against or jokes to crack that would make this okay. All Stan could do was throw his arms around him and bury his face into Ford’s shoulder and cry, too. 

So that’s what they did on the kitchen floor for over an hour.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper blinked to try to see, but all he saw around him was inky blackness for miles. His heart raced as he looked around for his sister. “Mabel? Mabel! Mabel, answer me!”

The boy scrambled and collapsed out of a portable potty at the fair. He blinked his eyes rapidly to adjust to the sunlight, scurrying off his hands and knees, clutching the warm time-machine in his hands. Wendy was still admiring her price and Robbie was still sulking, and Waddles was still trying to get away from Pacifica.

That didn’t matter! Mabel was stranded back in time! But how far back?! When was Mabel?! Dipper started jamming the button, but the machine wasn’t working, and it was soon swiped from him by a black-gloved hand.

“Mason Pines,” A gruff voice commanded above him and Dipper looked up to find two new guys with that Blendin guy. The two other guys were muscular and guarded with high-tech armor. 

“You are under arrest for violating the Time-Traveler's Code of Conduct and for jeopardizing the timestream.” The man labeled as Dundgren stated as serious as death.

“Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke?!” Blendin squawked. “I’m asking. I wasn’t there with you. It was probably a lot, right?”

“Wait, wait please!” Dipper begged as the two members of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent each grabbed the boy by an arm. “My sister! She’s still back there! We have to get her!”

“You have the right to remain silent.” The man labeled as Lolph informed robotically. “Anything you say can and already has been used in the Court of Time-Law.”

“Let me go, Mabel needs-...” And Dipper and the three time-travelers were blasted forward in time.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the endless space of time, Dipper was levitated off the ground by a giant baby using the power of his forehead-hourglass to trap him in a baby-blue field. Members of the the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent circled the two, and Blendin stood with his arms crossed over his chest and smiling smugly as the kid who caused so much trouble was getting what he deserved.

“You and your sister have broken the eternal laws of space-time.”

“I’m sorry!” Dipper cried out, trying to fight the energy circling him, but it was futile. “I’m sorry! Do what you want to me, just help my sister!”

“Your sister does not require help, nor do you require punishment.” Time Baby informed as he held his feet. “You are lucky the events that occurred do not change anything drastically. However, your timeline has shifted and therefore this reality’s version of you and your sister are no longer viable and will cease to exist.”

“What?!” Dipper squeaked and looked down at his body to find his legs disappearing. “No no NO! What’s happening to me?!”

“You and your twin sister will be born again on August 31st, 1999, but too many things are different in your timeline for this version of you to continue to exist.”

“W-W-What did I do wrong?! What did I change?!” Dipper cried out as his whole body was drained of color. “What changed in our timeline?!”

“Your uncles have amended their bond thirty-four years ahead of schedule. As unfortunate as this is, your sister miraculously delayed the plans of Bill Cipher by an entire millennia.”

“What uncles?!” Dipper asked, panicked as the fading reached his neck. “Who’s Bill Cipher?!”

“If you wanted the answers you sought out, you should have been patient.” Time Baby scolded. “We all get the answers we seek… in time.”

“P-P-Please!” Dipper begged as he appeared as a ghost. “Please! What did Mabel do?!”

Time Baby cruelly stayed silent, testing Dipper’s strengths, but he was dying, anyways. Might as well.

“She met the Author of the Journals. Your missing uncle.”

Dipper’s eyes widened. “Mabel…” He rasped, and then he ceased to exist.

[totentvnz]

This can't be happening. Not again... Ava felt the adrenaline kick in, that familiar yet hated rush, as Dipper yanked her out of the line of fire. The move was sharp, almost brutal, and for a second, the impact took her breath away. Her heart was pounding so hard it felt like it could drown out the chaos of the crash and screeching tires. F u c k. ❝ This can’t be real…❞ She bit her lip, gasping for air. Her thoughts raced. The last time she had to run from danger, it ended way worse. Smoke filled the air, and she coughed instinctively, trembling as little flames danced on her fingertips, curling against her skin. The heat was unreal. For anyone else, it would’ve burned the flesh right off. But not her—those flames would never hurt her. Still, the fire terrified her, like she was trying to breathe through a vice grip. Desperately, she clenched her fists. Am I having a panic attack? NOW? Here? Her breaths quickened, and tears pricked her eyes as she fought to keep it together. It’s fine, she told herself. The fire, Abaddon’s power, HER power would protect her. This time, it would keep her safe; no one would get hurt. Not again...

Her past: the “Last Flame,” the endless escape… her family. It felt just like then. Everything inside her screamed to hide, to run from the danger—but she couldn’t just take off. Not after everything she had seen. And not after realizing she could help the boy. Even if she was pretty useless as a medium now, these flames—surely they’d help him somehow. ❝ Run? ❞ she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. ❝ How long do you think you can keep running before they find you again? ❞ The bitter taste of her words lingered. It sounded almost like she was pleading with herself as she glanced at Dipper’s horrified expression. She knew what could happen if you stayed on the run too long. There was no mercy—the demons chasing her never let up. They hunted their prey, circling tighter until escape felt impossible.

I can’t… I...

Part of her wanted to follow him, just take off like he suggested. But that look in his eyes, that flicker of fear she recognized too well, held her back. Ava had lived with that fear for too long to just leave someone behind. A curse slipped from her lips. ❝ Shit… I can’t just leave you here…❞ She locked her gaze onto his, the knot in her stomach twisting tight. Ava clenched her fists. ❝ We need to figure this out… I know how to hide. Trust me. ❞ Her voice dropped, more determined now. ❝ I’ll create a distraction. ❞ But that wouldn’t be easy. Her powers were unpredictable, especially now when the pressure and her annoying fear were threatening to overwhelm her. Panic clawed at her, trying to break free. She struggled to focus, to shake off the fear, to calm her hands, but the flames were already dancing across her fingers, snaking up her arms. It felt like the fire inside her was taking charge. ❝ This isn’t the first time I’ve had to run from a damn demon. ❞ If this driver was even possessed... The energy from that weird power reminded her of demons, but was her attacker really possessed? Maybe he could still be saved? She wanted to focus on the fire, to use it as a simple distraction. Ava gritted her teeth, trying to hold back her power… but the panic was too strong.

A dam burst. The flames she’d been trying to suppress shot out, licking at her skin, hotter and more intense than she’d ever felt. The heat was all-consuming, and she had to watch as the car in front of her went up in flames—the metal beast was engulfed. A deafening crunch echoed as the engine exploded, and the fire spread like wildfire. Metal warped, tires popped, and the stench of burning oil filled the air. Ava gasped, her eyes widening in horror. She stumbled back, barely able to process what she’d just done. That was never her intention—it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. ❝ No… I… I didn’t want this! ❞ Her gaze flicked to the stranger, who stood frozen, staring at the raging inferno. Her heart raced. What was he seeing in her right now? A partner? Or a monster? She wanted to say something, to apologize, but the words got stuck in her throat. The tears burned hotter than the flames.

"This is definitely not an accident!" sent in by @totentvnz

Grocery shopping is the worst. Dipper hates it, but today it was his turn to get the essentials, so he was a good boy, took his Jeep and drove to the nearest major supermarket. The parking situation was a mess. Too many people, too few parking spaces, but that was his own fault. If he had gotten up at 8 a.m. as planned and hadn't snoozed his alarm and slept until 2 p.m., he would have been ready by now. 

But Dipper hates getting up earlier than 10 a.m. and read his book until his eyes closed. Now he was in a bad mood. Well rested, but in a bad mood, and when he finally found a parking space, he thought about just driving home and coming back before closing time to hopefully get some peace and quiet. 

But he could hear the voices. His gruncles, who were back from vacation and wanted to stay for a few weeks, his sister, who didn't want to go shopping with him as usual, and of course Soos and his grandma. All wanting their potato chips, shower gel and something to eat for dinner. Urgh. If anyone asked Dipper, he'd just order pizza or go to the diner in Gravity Falls, but no one asked him. So there he was, shutting his door a little too tightly and not looking in any way amused as he made his way to the shopping carts.

He barely looked left or right, only taking a step when he saw a person to avoid bumping into them, and then made his way to the entrance. 

Loud music reached his ears. Only a little muffled, because the doors and windows of the car were closed. But that wasn't the only thing that stood out about the car. It drove slowly. The windows were tinted and the driver looked like he was looking for something. But as he drove past empty parking lots, Dipper slowed down a little. There was something familiar about the driver. Nothing really special. Gravity Fall was small, and to go shopping you had to drive to the next biggest town. After all, you knew the people who lived there, but this face ... it wasn't just familiar. He had a really bad feeling about it. 

Dipper stopped. He didn't know what made him stop, but he did and met the driver's gaze. The car stopped, backed up and made its way back to Dipper. Slowly at first, but then it picked up speed. More speed than allowed, but Dipper didn't move. He just didn't realize what was about to happen. When the car was only a few meters away, something hit him. He stumbled, took a few steps, but couldn't keep his balance and fell to the ground. The person who had attacked him also fell down. The car sped past, but Dipper could already hear the screeching tires.

"This is definitely not an accident!" 

A female voice reached his ear. Dipper sat up to catch a brief glimpse of his rescuer. But he didn't have much time. The car was turning and they hadn't moved. 

“They're coming back.” He heard his own voice, but he didn't recognize it as his voice. He was already looking for somewhere to hide, somewhere to escape. For something. Anything. When the music got louder again. He jumped up, grabbed the stranger and pulled her with him. Right between a couple of parked cars, but he didn't stop, luckily. The driver didn't seem to care and he crashed into the parked cars with a loud bang. There were screams, panic broke out and people started to run as the car reversed. 

Suddenly his eyes fell on the passenger and his face went completely white. Gideon. Now he knew how he recognized the driver's face. It was one of Gideon's friends at Weirdmageddon. Gideon's change of heart didn't last very long. Because Dipper was sure Gideon didn't just want to say hello. 

“We have to go. Now. Run!” 

The car backed up, tires screeching as they tried to pick up speed and break through the cars to get to Dipper. But he, now fully awake and in survival mode, didn't wait. He grabbed the stranger again and followed his own words. “Fuck. He saw you with me when you saved me, you need to hide somewhere and then run! I'm sure he'll come after you if he didn't catch me.”