#why did i write this?

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Scott: There are seven chairs and ten guests, what do you do?

Derek: Have everyone stand.

Isaac: Get more chairs?

Peter: The best seven get to sit.

Stiles: Kill Peter.

Scott: How's that going to help?

Stiles: Because it'll make me happy.

Scott: Okay, that still leaves two people without seats.

Stiles: No, Erica'll sit in Boyd's lap and I'll sit in Derek's. Problem solved. Everyone's happy.

Peter: I'm not. I'm dead... again.

Stiles: Like I said, everyone's happy.

[insecurespice]

Boyega is who you didn’t pay attention to in undergrad while you were Michael B Jordan’s jump off (he ain’t want you as his girl, played games. Marries a white woman, has 3 kids now with Larkyn) . Y’all meet up randomly at 27 (he is the youngest at his law firm.Had the Bill Gates scholarship, debt free, has his own place) and “Truth Is” by Fantasia plays in your head...but he don’t want your always on tumblr, pushing a 2006 Hyundai in debt ass now. Thinks you look nice though, in that Zara outfit you really can’t afford. 

[losingmy-miind]

i am not really sure if we have something, but i hope we have because ugh i am getting emotions about you

[2tiedships2]

Peppermint and Lavender (and Coffee) (9k) by 2tiedships2

"He was there again," Louis announced by way of greeting. "Lottie was right and she can never know.”

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Niall asked as he snapped his laptop closed.

"The omega, Niall. He was there today. Just sitting in the corner looking pretty. Or at least his back is. He hasn't turned around when I'm available to see. I know he's beautiful though.”

"Okay?" Niall questioned. "What does that have to do with Lottie?”

Louis let out a huff. "She told me I shouldn't work at a coffee shop. She was right.”

Or the one where Louis might have met the love of his life in a coffee shop. But that’s not how it’s supposed to happen.

Additional tags: A/B/O dynamics, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Strangers to Lovers, Humor, omg there are so many coffee shop fics which is why this isn’t meant to be one. 

Buy me a coffee?

[shadeofazmeinya]

Jeremy was wearing a skull necklace in today's GTA and I'd like to suggest that Ryan gave it to him as a good luck token-Foster Gavvy

(i kinda went in a different direction with this, hope you don’t mind. also t/w for brief mentioned homophobia)

Jeremy wishes he wasn’t at a point in his life where he can wake up in the morning, find a dead body in his kitchen, and know exactly who the fuck put it there. Most would consider that a sign you’ve gone wrong in your life. A sign you’ve gotten into some horrible shit. Jeremy just knows its a sign of how fucking weird of company he keeps.

“Ryan,” Jeremy says after calming down from the heart attack of a dead body in his kitchen and pulling out his phone. There was only one person Jeremy could think who would’ve done this and he called him right away. “Ryan. Why?”

“It’s a gift!” Ryan says, way too chipper for what he’s done.

“A dead body is a gift?!” Jeremy exclaims. “Ryan, how the fuck am I going to get rid of it?!”

“Well it’s a two part gift. Look at the necklace he’s wearing,” Ryan says, again with a calm, almost excited voice.

Jeremy sighs and does, hesitantly moving to the body to see a bright, big skull necklace. “Uh, why is he wearing a skull necklace…?”

“That’s for you! Don’t worry, I put it on after I killed him and he stopped bleeding. The necklace should be clean,” Ryan beams and Jeremy can just hear the grin in his voice.

“Uh, thanks? You still didn’t explain why the fuck you put a dead body in my apartment.”

“Did you see who it is?” Ryan says excitedly, almost childlike. Only Ryan would get excited over a fucking murder like this.

“No, I didn’t,” Jeremy sighs, figuring he might as well entertain Ryan when he’s so excited like this. Jeremy shifts closer, glancing over to see the face of the dead person. “Wait, is that-?”

“Your landlord at your old apartment? Who kicked you out for being gay? Yup!”

Jeremy shakes his head, laughing at the just shear craziness of this all. “You still better come here to fucking help me get rid of it. I’m not doing it myself!”

“I’ll be there in five minutes with the third part of the gift, where we’ll get rid of the body.”

“I’m scared to ask, but what is the third part of the gift.”

“I stole the keys to Geoff’s yacht,” Ryan says proudly.

“Fuck yeah!” Jeremy cheers. Maybe this isn’t so bad after all. Even if he still isn’t sure exactly where all of this is coming from.

Ryan chuckles. “See you soon, dear.”

“You’ve just earned yourself like, so many kisses, babe,” Jeremy chuckles back.

“Save them all for the hot tub on the yacht.”

“Will do. Now get your ass over here. We have to sneak this body out before my neighbors see.”

[scarlettohairdye]

The cast of The Untamed as cats:

Wei Wuxian: A rangy little black stray, the kind with a fucked-up ear. You don't know what happened to him, exactly, but he alternates between being extremely wary of everyone around him and being extremely affectionate and cuddly. Once he trusts you he will NOT LEAVE.

Jiang Cheng: Russian Blue. Loves being petted but is suspicious of the motivations behind it. Alternates between cuddling with other cats and punching them and you cannot figure out his deal.

Jiang Yanli: Also a Russian Blue. The sweetest cat. Sometimes brings you her toys if you're feeling sad. Will curl up on your lap when you're having cramps. The gentlest purr.

Lan Wangji: A blue point Siamese. Better than you. Does not want to be petted. At first it seems like he hates Wei Wuxian but they eventually end up pairbonded and inseparable. Goes absolutely feral if any other cat tries to start shit with Wei Wuxian.

Lan Xichen: Also a blue point Siamese. Friendly and sweet, if a little bland. Constantly ends up getting his food or toys stolen by other cats and just rolls with it.

Wen Qing: A shorthaired tortiseshell. 12 pounds of badass in a six pound body. Will go toe-to-toe with any other cat in defense of her little brother and she will WIN.

Wen Ning: A very dark gray tabby, twice as big as his sister and three times as shy. Peeks around the corners of doors before he comes into the room. The kind of cat you don’t realize is there until he moves. Very sweet, once he gets used to you.

Nie Mingjue: The biggest, fluffiest tabby Maine Coon you’ve ever seen. Grumpy and protective but mostly operates on a philosophy of “don’t start shit, don’t get hit.” Sometimes breaks up fights between other cats just by walking into the room.

Nie Huaisang: A Maine Coon so small you don’t think he’s a Maine Coon. Also a fluffy tabby, mostly he just spends his time on the table by the window looking at the birds outside. You’re pretty sure he wouldn’t know what to do with one if he caught it, though.

Jin Zixuan: A sleek, elegant orange tabby. Seems really snobby but actually he was raised mostly by humans and doesn’t know how to interact with other cats. Tries to initiate playtime in the worst possible ways.

Luo Qingyang/MianMian: A wee calico with more orange markings than brown/black. Small, sassy, able to keep Jin Zixuan in line. Gets along well with others but absolutely willing to hiss a motherfucker into submission.

Jin Guangyao: A ferret. We don’t know how he got in here.

[ao3tags]

Like so much angst • What was I Thinking? • I Can’t Believe I Wrote This • Why Did I Write This? • The Author Regrets Everything • Author Is Crying

source

[steves-on-a-plane]

When Toys Get Left Behind

Words: 388 Pairing: Woody x Reader Imagine: You’re a Space Ranger toy from the same line as Buzz, and like Woody you were once a beloved toy of Andy’s. Now that the gang has moved to Bonnie’s room some toys aren’t being played with as much and it’s breaking your heart to see a certain Sheriff get left behind. 

Your stomach twisted in a knot as you watched Woody. He was staring into Bonnie’s room with his hands place carefully on the closet door’s wooden slats. He watched Buzz, Jessie and the other toys being played with, a forlorn expression on his plastic face. You empathized with him greatly. It was hard to go from being a kid’s lead toy to being one of the toys left in the closet.

“Howdy Sheriff!” You greeted him in your worst southern accent. Woody was smiling before he even turned his head in your direction. Somehow you were always able to make him laugh, even when he was at his lowest.

“Hey there [Y/N].” He greeted you, his smiling face was illuminated by the glow in the dark paint on your Space Ranger suit. Yes, you were a Space Ranger toy like Buzz, but unlike Buzz and Woody you weren’t a headliner of a franchise. You were supposed to be an accessory. An optional add-on. But Woody never made you feel that way.

“Third day in the closet, aye?” You elbowed the ragdoll cowboy playfully. “Almost makes you long for the days when your biggest problem was if the bedspread had a cowboy or a spaceman on it.”

“Yeah,” Woody sighed. Back in the days when you were Andy’s toys, your boy always made sure that Sheriff Woody had his Deputy Jessie and that Buzz Lightyear had you, his trusted Lieutenant. Things changed when you moved to Bonnie’s room. Bonnie had a wonderfully wild imagination. That meant that a dinosaur like Trixie might be a Triceratops one minute and a baby reindeer the next. Unlike Any, Bonnie didn’t see the need in playing with both her Space Ranger toys or both her cowboy dolls at the same time. For Bonnie, play was more creative than that.

“Better me than Jessie,” Woody tried to assure himself. “She really hates being in the closet.”

“Well, you know I’ll follow you anywhere Sheriff.” You said, reaching for Woody’s hand.

“Thanks partner.” Woody gave your hand a gentle squeeze. Woody took off his much beloved brown plastic hat and placed it slightly askew on your head. “You know, since we weren’t picked for playtime, we could always have our own playtime.” He kissed you on the cheek.

“Woody!” You giggled. “There’s preschool toys present!”

[morphimus]

Lawful Good: Always washes the dishes on their turn without fail. Helps out even when it’s not their turn too.

Neutral Good: Enjoys washing dishes. What a freak.

Chaotic Good: Forgets when it’s their turn to wash the dishes, but always makes it up to everyone.

Lawful Neutral: Always complains whenever someone doesn’t follow the chore wheel. Wrote the chore wheel.

True Neutral: Only does the dishes when they feel like it, or when someone else tells them to.

Chaotic Neutral: Complete enigma. Never know if they’re gonna do dishes or not.

Lawful Evil: Only ever washes dishes when it’s their turn. Leaves the most hideous and rancorous messes when it’s not.

Neutral Evil: Deliberately makes everything harder for everyone by cooking a lot and never cleaning anything ever.

Chaotic Evil: Leaves knives in the sink with peanut butter stuck on them. Has no capacity for consideration or decency in their heart.

Undetectable Alignment: Never dirties any dishes or cleans anything. What how?? Do they even eat!? Has anyone seen them eat!?

[scarlicbread27]

Cupioromatic Leo Valdez being obsessed with the idea of having a relationship, imagining himself in one ever since he knew what love was. Cupioromantic Leo Valdez never being able to truly put someone in the place of the blank shadow of a figure that played the role of his imaginary lover. This figure being the wrong fit for all the people he thought he had a crush on, yet him pushing them into it's place anyway.

All the people.

Hazel, who was one of the easiest to imagine because for a moment, it seemed like she liked him ‘back’. For a moment only, because then Leo found out she liked Sammy and god did he find it so shocking, so uncomfortable to actually see himself, or someone who looked almost identical to him, in a relationship with an actual, living person. To see someone so identical to himself flirt and feel for another.

He may want it, but he didn't want it.

Calypso, who seemed to be in a similar place to him. She too, longed for something that was so, so far away. She too wanted romance, but it was out of reach, an unfortunate thing that tortured her from above but never fell into her palm.

For a while, they tried to create something, force feelings, and love, and a happy relationship, but it wasn't true, it wasn't real. She left, decided to try and have a real life; something that she had also been denied for so long, but could have now. She left, and Leo was alone again.

Khione. Thalia. Jason. Names that he attempted to force a meaning upon, but failed. They weren't crushes, or loves or anything of the sort. They were just Tantalus' desperate grabs at ripe fruit, a desperate attempt for something deemed impossible by a higher figure.

Cupid or Aphrodite or whatever other stupid love god with their stupid love plans, had condemned him.

All the people, all the fish in the sea, yet none made Leo's heart beat a different tune.

[annebrontesrequiem]

Wish we could have a genuine conversation about Susan Pevensie within the context of the book without acting like the fact it is couched in religious allegory automatically makes it good storytelling

Note: I am a half-lapsed half-practicing Catholic

Like, I know that this is a religious allegory, but, isn’t it still kind of fucked up? Susan stops believing in Aslan (i.e. God) and in return she is punished brutally for it, her entire family dying in a horrific accident with only her left. Yes she could then believe in Aslan once more and receive absolution, but like, that doesn’t change the initial trauma of losing family.

Nor does the book pry at all into Susan’s psyche at all, why she may have stopped believing in Narnia. Yes, C.S. Lewis said that it was because the story of Susan’s religious growth was a story he was unwilling to tell. But that does not absolve him of the way that Susan was hastly, insultingly, written out.

There is also the fact that, though Jill’s perspective of Susan is a flawed one, it is still essentially the only one we get of Susan (the others barely speaking and, when they do, being not much kinder). Acknowledging Jill is an unreliable source does not change that it is one of the only sources we get. What else should we assume of the story than Susan is looked upon with scorn? It’s simply, well, not good storytelling in my opinion.

That Susan Pevensie is part of religious allegory does not erase the sting of what happens to her. We can ignore the part about lipsticks and nylons and focus only on the religious allegory and it is still cruel. And that’s just something I wish people would acknowledge more The Problem of Susan is a multi-layered one and, well, we just have to accept it.

[tf2heritageposts]

cheavy is so real for that milk is fucking delicious

It is quite tasty. I’ve never understood the arguments against milk. “We’re the only species that drinks the milk of other species”, first of all if I could buy human milk at the store I would, second of all I’m sure your average raccoon would also drink cow milk if it could.

[calciumcryptid]

Random Drabble that has been bouncing around my brain like a window screensaver.

=====

"Sero," Aizawa greeted as Sero entered the faculty offices. Sero looked around to see the other teachers working as well. "What brings you here?"

Sero took a deep breath.

"I am transferring to a private study."

All work ceased to continue at his announcement.

Aizawa blinked, and narrowed his eyes. "In order for that you need to be given an official offer from a hero agency with a pro hero who is willing to oversee your training along with two signatures from two other official pros."

Sero nodded. "Lurking Agency extended the offer, and Kamui Woods is willing to oversee my training. You can probably guess who the other two signatures came from."

Aizawa slowly tilted his head, "Is that all?"

"No," Sero admitted. "I was told by some other students to tell you they would be transferring to private studies as well."

The air was sucked out of the room.

"Who?" Aizawa demanded.

"Ojiro, War for Justice Agency with Sasori; Shouji, Marine Agency with Gang Orca; Hagakure, War For Justice Underground Department with Kameo; Satou, War for Justice Agency with Iron Hunter; Kouda, Feline Forest Agency with the Wild Wild Pussycats."

"You are all leaving?" Aizawa inquired.

Sero nodded.

Aizawa turned back to his computer, "Okay."

Sero walked towards the exit, but he paused.

"You know, Midoriya wasn't the only one who recognized you at the quirk apprehension test."

With that, Sero was gone along with his status as one of Aizawa's students.

A few days later when over one fourth of his class gone, Nezu showed him the reasons stated for the transfer claiming he would find it interesting.

Written on all of them was Quirk Discrimination: Ignored in favor of those with flashier quirks.

[reid-fiction]

I was in the grocery store, and they already had Valentine’s Day items up and on display, which made me want to throw apples at everyone because I generally hate Valentine’s Day and also because IT’S JANUARY 9TH!

HOWEVER...it got me thinking...

What if Spencer had a little girl?

What if, on her first Valentine’s Day, Spencer decides that he wants to be the first man to give his baby girl a Valentine’s Day card?

What if he goes all out and picks up the fanciest, frilliest, pinkest card he can find and spends an entire evening writing out a heartfelt message about how much he loves her, how he felt when he was waiting for her to be born, how he couldn’t imagine life without her, how special she is and how excited he is to watch her grow, how honored he feels to be her daddy...

He knows she won’t be able to read or understand the message until she’s a bit older, but he wants her to have something she can come back to for the rest of her life when she’s feeling down or discouraged, or just feeling that no one loves her.

Because he wants her to always know that, no matter what life may throw at her and no matter how many boys break her heart, she’ll always have him.

He’ll always love her, because she is the greatest gift he’s ever been given.

[elliotl]

The reason c!Wilbur was so envious of c!schlatt and hated him so much because c!Schlatt did c!Dream on the white house office table. So when c!Wilbur and c!Dream fucked on the train platform, c!Schlatt was there for just a moment.

[rhythmgamer]

i just woke up (again). anyone using Android. listen to me. open Settings. search for Private DNS in your Settings (if you don't have a search bar, it should be somewhere in the Connections settings).

Open Private DNS. click on "Private DNS provider hostname". now input this without the quotes: "dns.adguard-dns.com". Save.

There you go. no ads for you on anywhere (except streaming services which have ads inbuilt in them but they have different methods to get rid of ads)

but ❗ warning ❗ in case you're uninstalling and reinstalling Enstars for some reason, turn off the adblocker during the process. you can turn it on again after you get back again into your Enstars account