#And 4: helps play into the dark magic/lying stuff further

[gracebethartacc]

soooo I had a lore idea earlier that ties into the rewrite really well,,,,,,

Poor unfortunate souls am I right :)

[saylors-universe]

All Hands on Deck, five

Rowaelin Cruise Vacation AU

masterlist here

word count: 5234

[This is an interactive story! I will include Authorʻs Notes throughout the chapters to inform you when to start a particular song that you can find here in the All Hands on Deck playlist (Also can be found on the masterlist). For the best experience, listen with headphones, AND FOLLOW ALONG WITH THE STORY. Please try to use your imagination when listening and reading - live through the words. Have fun :) - Saylor]

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This week has been HELL. Sorry for the late upload :( Anyways, enjoy the chapter, thanks for reading <3

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Day 4 - AT SEA - “Todays Cruise Activity: SCAVENGER HUNT from 1-3, Find an activities staff for more info!”

-    Aelin wakes in a soft, ivory, long-sleeve undershirt, light blue dress with a matching white apron. Confused by her attire, she finds two large books in her embrace, like she had cuddled with them in her sleep.      -

[A.N.] Play “Beauty and the Beast Medley” by BYU Vocal Point feat. Lexi Walker now, follow along, and let your imagination put on a show. Find playlist here.

-    Recognizing that sheʻs alone in her dark cabin, she leaves her room and notices no one in the dim, candle-lit hallway. She searches for any sign of life throughout the corridors, navigating through the different levels until she appears in front of the bakery, responsible for divulging her deep cravings of chocolates and treats.     -

Aelin:      LITTLE TOWN, ITʻS A QUIET VILLAGE

               EVERYDAY LIKE THE ONE BEFORE

               LITTLE TOWN, FULL OF LITTLE PEOPLE

               WAKING UP TO SAY

-    Suddenly, as if on cue, a parade of crew and staff appear in a flash mob.  -

Cruise Staff:          BON JOUR,  BON JOUR

-     A baker stands behind the counter, kneading dough.   -

                         BON JOUR, BON JOUR, BON JOUR

Aelin:     THERE GOES THE BAKER WITH HIS TRAY LIKE ALWAYS

               THE SAME OLD BREAD AND ROLLS TO SELL

               EVERY MORNING JUST THE SAME

               SINCE THE MORNING THAT WE CAME 

               TO THIS POOR PROVINCIAL TOWN

Baker:      “Good Morning, Belle”

-     Aelin, puzzled by what is happening and perplexed by why she is compelled to sing, magically transports to The Antica. She is ushered by Emrys and Luca in their cooking attire, along with the rest of the ensemble, who seemed to have rehearsed a big musical number.     -

Emrys:     BE OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST

               PUT OUR SERVICE TO THE TEST

               TIE YOUR NAPKIN ROUND YOUR NECK, CHERIE

               AND WE PROVIDE THE REST

               SOUP DE JOUR, HOT HORS DʻOEUVERS

              WHY, WE ONLY LIVE TO SERVE

              TRY THE GREY STUFF, ITʻS DELICIOUS

               DONʻT BELIEVE IT? ASK THE DISHES

              THEY CAN SING, THEY CAN DANCE

               AFTER ALL, MISS, THIS IS FRANCE

               AND A DINNER HERE IS NEVER SECOND BEST

               GO ON UNFOLD YOUR MENU

               TAKE A GLANCE AND THEN YOUʻLL

               BE OUR GUEST, OUI, OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST

Ensemble:  BE OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST

                   OUR COMMAND IS YOUR REQUEST

                   ITʻS TEN YEARS SINCE WE HAD ANYBODY HERE

                   WEʻRE OBSESSED

                   WITH YOUR MEAL, WITH YOUR EASE

                   YES, INDEED, WE AIM TO PLEASE

                   WHILE THE CANDLESTICKʻS STILL GLOWING

                   LET US HELP YOU, WEʻLL KEEP GOING

-    They all line up and begin a grand kick line.   -

                   COURSE BY COURSE, ONE BY ONE

                  TILL YOU SHOUT, “ENOUGH, IʻM DONE”

                  THEN WEʻLL SEND YOU OFF TO SLEEP AS YOU DIGEST

                  TONIGHT YOUʻLL PROP YOUR FEET UP

                  BUT FOR NOW, LETʻS EAT UP

                  BE OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST

                  PLEASE, BE OUR GUEST

-      Aelin is completely taken aback by the magnificent performance put on by the crew. In awe, she is transported once more to the elegant ballroom, but now she is fitted with a dazzling, gold ballroom gown. A dashingly, groomed Rowan approaches Aelin, wearing a charming black tux. He offers his hand, in silent question for a dance. She places her hand in his and he guides them to the center of the floor where they begin to waltz.       -

Aelin:   TALE AS OLD AS TIME

            TRUE AS IT CAN BE

            BARELY EVEN FRIENDS

            THEN SOMEBODY BENDS, UNEXPECTEDLY

-   Lorcan/Elide, Aedion/Lysandra, Dorian/Manon join them on the dance floor, following along in the waltz as Fenrys and Connal stand by beatboxing.    -

            JUST A LITTLE CHANGE

            SMALL TO SAY THE LEAST

            BOTH A LITTLE SCARED

            NEITHER ONE PREPARED

            BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

            EVER JUST THE SAME

            EVER A SURPRISE

            EVER AS BEFORE

            EVER JUST AS SURE

            AS THE SUN WILL RISE

            CERTAIN AS THE SUN

            TALE AS OLD AS TIME

            SONG AS OLD AS RHYME

            BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

            TALE AS OLD AS TIME

            SONG AS OLD AS RHYME

            BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

            WHOA-OH

“WAKE UP YOU FREAK”

Aelin lurches awake, back in the comfort of her own bed, Manonʻs long, sharp nails digging into her skin.

“OW!,” Aelin massages the crescent indents in her arm.

“You were singing in your sleep ... really loudly. Lys came over to make sure you werenʻt dying, and took a few embarrassing videos of you,”

   Aelin murmurs a defensive sigh and seeks refuge under her comforter, reflecting on her dream, What the fuck? Why did I dream of Rowan? She convinces herself that her subconscious was just playing tricks on her and decided to leave their past in the past. Given the new circumstances, they were merely co-workers, sort of, and nothing would happen between them, well not again. Sheʻs learned what happens when you fall for a Whitethorn, you get your heart broken. 

   She will never forget that afternoon. Rowan had received a large envelope package from Orynth University, his dream school. Aelin, her parents, Maeve, Rowansʻ aunt and legal guardian since the passing of his parents when he was young, his whole family, all gathered in her small living room while he read out his acceptance letter. He was so excited. Not wanting to ruin his news with the sad announcement of her rejection letter, she plastered on a bright smile and consumed the happy energy of the night.

   Once the party turned down, he led her outside on her porch. He knew her better than anyone and could tell that something had been off. She confessed in sobs, excusing that she did not want to take the attention away from his amazing opportunity. He immediately offered to apply to the local college, or other universities in the area, or get a job, anything to stay near her. She forbade him, he had just been accepted to his dream college, where he had been talking about going all his life. She refused to hold him back from his dream so she brought up the option of splitting up, which caused his turn to cry. 

   After hours of tears, talks, and “i love you, to whatever end,” they both agreed to end things, which broke her heart even more. She knew it was mainly her decision, he would have done anything he could to be with her, done long distance, found a different school, anything, but she couldn't let him pass up this opportunity. She wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she had trapped him in their relationship, no matter how much they loved each other, sometimes the best thing you could do for the ones you love, is let them go. 

   The most painful part was watching him leave. Waving him goodbye as he went up the escalator to security of the airport, praying that he didn't look back. He was her first love, she gave her heart to him. They both had decided to end things, but a part of her hated him for leaving, even though she made him. He left. He left her. He left their dreams. He left their plans. He left their future. He left for his dream, his future. She made him leave. She hated herself most of all.

   Now here they are, eight years later, stuck on the same boat and brought together again by Lorcan Salvaterre nonetheless. In spite of the years with other lovers, the years of not keeping in touch, they were in love once, completely in love. Once youʻve had that kind of love, you never stop loving them, they will always carry a piece of your heart. And damn him if he has more than just a piece, Aelin vowed.

   Her mind wandered to the song he played in the ballroom just the other day. “Do you remember when, midnight drives when youʻd sing, Iʻd play you songs you were in...Do you remember when, with Rome below us that day, you said ʻI wish we could stayʻ?” She didn't want to read too much into it, but the song had to be about her. Right? How many people could he have serenaded on a late night drive? How many girls confessed their love for him under the stars and moonlight by the Trevi fountain? “Do you remember when?” Does she remember? How could she ever forget?

   Before she could over-analyze the situation any further, Manon pulled the comforter from her bed. Aelinʻs body went in shock from the sudden lack of warmth protection, the brisk midday cool kissing her skin, and groans a very unladylike curse. 

“Time to get up sleeping beauty, oh Iʻm sorry, Belle I mean,” Manon heaves into cackles. Aelin swears that in another life, Manon was a witch, wicked and ruthless. 

   In a very unusual, chipper mood, Manon getʻs Aelin up to speed on their plans for the day. She had gotten word of a scavenger hunt Dorian was putting on and eagerly volunteered their friend group to participate. 

   The two got ready for the rest of the day and gathered their friends to grab some brunch before their fun activity. While settling into Emrysʻ section of the bar, a few fans tracked them down, asking for pictures and autographs. Meeting their fans had always been Aelinʻs favorite part of what they do, seeing people enjoy their music and support them. Luca treats them to some bacon and eggs, and they snag some fresh chocolate croissants from the nearby bakery. They stay and share many stories and laughs between the court and the chefs, until it is time to find Dorian and begin the scavenger hunt. 

   Aelin wasn't surprised when Manon had been the one to locate him. She couldn't tell if this would be just another chase for Manon. In the past, sheʻs had a difficult time making attachments with people, everyone but Elide it seems. A part of her hopes that Manon would pursue an actually relationship with him, from what she could tell so far, he had a dark, wild spirit about him, one that would challenge her antics quite well. 

“Good afternoon everyone, weʻre just waiting on one more group,” Dorian flashed a wicked grin and a flirty wink in Manonʻs direction. Aelin watched her friendʻs complexion redden and blush as the Cadre arrived, looking as daunting and intimidating as ever.

“Okay letʻs get started shall we? You guys have signed up for the adult scavenger hunt,” he passes out a list of items, “so how this works is you guys will be split up into...,” he counts the nine of them, “two groups. Each groupʻs goal is to take a picture of someone in the group with an item on the list, different items vary on points given based on difficulty or creativity. Without a member of your team in the photo, it will not get points. You guys have two hours and then we will meet back here to go over the photos and assign a winning group. Winners get free drinks at our private island port,” they cheer at the prospect of free alcoholic beverages.

   Dorian splits them up into teams. Team one being Elide, Lorcan, Rowan, Connal, and Lysandra. Team two: Aelin, Manon, Fenrys, Aedion, and Dorian adds himself to even out their numbers. Dorian looks at his timer, “Two hours starting...Now!”

Both teams, consisting of extremely competitive adults, disperse to huddle up with their groups and assess the list of items to find and capture. 

   TAKE A PICTURE WITH....

-  The shipʻs steering wheel  (10 points)

-  A ship staff member AND team member with a chef hat on  (5 points)

-  Someone playing the piano  (3 points, 5+ bonus for video)

-  A King and a Queen  (5 points)

-  Spa brochure signed by spa employee  (5 points)

-  A staff member (the higher rank, the more points)

-  Someone on your team kissing a stranger  (10 points)

-  Yellow Duck  (5 points)

-  Poker chips  (3 points)

-  Someone on your team posing on a stripper pole  (5 points)

-  Drink umbrella  (3 points)

-  Towel animal  (3 points)

-  Someone wearing a sea sickness patch  (3 points)

-  A Conga line   (5 points)

-  A member of your team in the pool   (5 points)

-  Each member of your team with a different drink   (10 points)

-  Someone on your team playing mini golf  (5 points)

-  Someone on your team using exercise equipment   (5 points)

-  The room numbers for the following rooms: 829, 318, 560   (3 points)

-  Ice Cream cone  (3 points)

-  Someone with a bad sunburn  (5 points)

-   Someone dancing inappropriately  (3 points, +5 bonus for video)

-  3 different food menus  (3 points)

-   A performer in full costume with a mask on   (3 points)

-   Someone in a bikini with the life preserver ring   (5 points)

   Aedion takes charge as group leader. They collectively decide to find the rooms 829, 318, and 560 first since it seemed like the most straightforward, and easiest task. The five of them find the room 318 first, take a group selfie in front of the room number, then proceed to do the same with the remaining rooms, ending with 829. 

   They discuss going to their rooms quickly to change into swimsuits, thinking forward to a few of the scavenger hunt items that require either a change of attire, or the possibility of getting wet. Aelin and Manon retreat to their room and change into flattering bikinis, Fenrys and Dorian to their respective rooms to change into swim trunks, and Aedion to his, right across the hall. 

   Fenrys and Dorian, both shirtless and in all their glory, meet the girls in front of their door. “Wow, you look amazing,” Aelin overhears Dorian compliment Manon. The two go off into their own little world, leaving Aelin and Fenrys to get to know each other better. The two immediately click. Fenrys was the perfect balance of funny and flirty, and that kept a beaming smile and standby laugh on Aelinʻs demeanor. They shared a common sense of humor and both were very quick and witty, so they got along very well. 

   Aedion walks out of his cabin in the silliest blue and yellow duck swimming trousers. “Forgot I brought these,” he fibs, his face plastering a bright ruby shade. The four stay silent for a few seconds, really trying to hold in their laughter. Aelin was the first to break and the rest followed. 

“Ha-ha, laugh all you want, but I just got us 5 points,” he pulls out his phone and takes a selfie of him in his swim trucks, pointing out the yellow duck. “I also snapped a pic with the towel animal in our room, so thatʻs checked off.”

Whenever room service came by to turn in their room, theyʻd leave towels intricately folded into cute animals, todayʻs was a small elephant. 

“Okay whatʻs next boss?” Fenrys says once calmed down. 

Aedion reviews the list once again and the his head darts up, “Hey Ace, youʻre using those sea sickness patches right?”

“Everyday,” she nods and then he whips his phone around to get a selfie with her, folding her ear to show the small, circular patch behind.

“Okay weʻve got the rooms, the towel animal, the yellow duck, and the seasickness patch. Good start guys. Fen you know where the gym is?”

“Yes, sir,” he answers, flexing his biceps. Manon rolls her eyes and falls in line when Fenrys guides the team to the gym onboard. It was a large, well equipped workout room, only a few people occupying different machines. Treadmills lined the mirror wall, cycle bikes adjacent to those. There were squat racks, dumbbells, bench presses, pull up bars, lat pulldown machines, leg press machines, pretty much everything Aelin used in her normal, rigorous routine. 

   Aelin adjusts the squat rack to her height, leveling it at around her chest height, and loads 250 lbs. to the bar. The mens eyesʻ widen, in disbelief that this quaint creature could support that much weight. Aedion knew however, that she had been training all her life. Physical fitness had always been important to her so she made sure she worked out regularly and vigorously. She turns back to Fenrys, “Spot me?”

“My pleasure,” he purrs expecting to rescue this damsel in distress who is in way over her head. He takes position right behind her. With Aelin in just her bikini and Fenrys his trunks, his bare, sculpted chest was flush behind her bare back, her exposed legs guarded by his. 

   Manon opens her phone, prepared to capture the task on video, also hoping to capture Fenrys and Dorianʻs expression. Aelin balances the bar across her shoulders, lifts the bar and steps back from the rack. She manages about eight reps of correctly formed squats with ease, Fenrys following down with her in every one. 

   She hears the gym door open, Rowan and his team had the same idea and came to use some exercise equipment to check it off their list. Their glances met once in the mirror, then quickly, deliberately broke. She canʻt quite explain why she suddenly felt guilty, as if she had been caught doing something wrong, being in the position she was with Fenrys. So she returns to the rack and sets the bar down, finally starting to feel some burn in her glutes. 

“Damn Aelin, thatʻs impressive,” Dorian praises.

“Thanks, letʻs get out of here and go find more of our items.” They leave the gym, letting the other team to make use of the space. 

   They were near the casino and club so Dorian suggested they find what items they could there. Finding and snapping a photo with poker chips were a breeze. They ran across a stripper pole in the dance club and Fenrys stopped to model a sexy, scandalous pose on the pole and Aelin held the photoshoot, both of them giggling endlessly. 

   The team found the show girl performers walking around the club in their full outfit and masquerade mask. Aelin snapped a photo with two of them wrapped around Fenrys shoulders. 

   Drawing from the same chaotic, wild energy, Aelin and Fenrys started a conga line in the club to which Manon, Dorian, Aedion and many strangers added onto. Aelin at the front of the line, selfie recorded a crazy, upbeat video of the dance. 

   The team takes a breather at the bar, trusting the bar tender with the choice of drink for each person as long as she made each drink different. They also requests that one came with an umbrella. Fenrys, being friendly and personable as always, makes conversation with the bartender Ansel, sliding a few flirty remarks in here and there. She takes note of his group and promises to take good care of them, she says with a wink. 

   Ansel prepares their drinks based on what she felt from each person, giving Aedion a Sazerac, Dorian the AMF (Adios Motherfucker), Manon the Aunt Roberta, Fenrys a jungle juice with an umbrella, and Aelin a Tequila Blue Blazer that she lit on fire. They took a group selfie with their drinks, the umbrella and Ansel, then downed their drinks. 

   After another strong drink, Aelin starts to feel a little buzzed. She grabs Manon and they take stage on one of the clubʻs platforms, matching the rhythm of the loud music. They dance with each other, on each other, skin on skin, lips nearly touching, earning the attention of most of the men in the room. Itʻs Fenrys turn to be behind the camera, recording the show, and he enjoys every second of it. 

Their team leader does his duty and puts the pin in their fun, “We better go look for the last few things on the list, Dorian how much time do we have?”

“A little less than an hour”

“Come on guys,” Aedion gathers his team members like a chaperoning parent.

   Aelin has a light bulb moment and shares, “Oh I know where we can find a piano,” she leads them to the ballroom, the grand piano vacant and begging to be played. She sits at the keys, closes her eyes and plays.

[A.N.] Play “Symphony (feat. Zara Larsson) - Acoustic Version” by Clean Bandit now, follow along and let your imagination do itʻs job. Find playlist here.

-  Aedion starts recording.   -

Aelin:    IʻVE BEEN HEARING SYMPHONIES

             BEFORE ALL I HEARD WAS SILENCE

             A RHAPSODY FOR YOU AND ME

             AND EVERY MELODY IS TIMELESS

             LIFE WAS STRINGINʻ ME ALONG

             THEN YOU CAME AND YOU CUT ME LOOSE

             WAS SOLO, SINGINʻ ON MY OWN

             NOW I CANʻT FIND THE KEY WITHOUT YOU

             AND NOW YOUR SONG IS ON REPEAT

             AND IʻM DANCINʻ ONTO YOUR HEARTBEAT

             AND WHEN YOUʻRE GONE I FEEL INCOMPLETE

             SO, IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH

             I JUST WANNA BE PART OF YOUR SYMPHONY

             WILL YOU HOLD ME TIGHT AND NOT LET GO?

             SYMPHONY

             LIKE A LOVE SONG ON THE RADIO

             WILL YOU HOLD ME TIGHT AND NOT LET GO?

             IʻM SORRY IF ITʻS ALL TOO MUCH

             BUT EVERY DAY YOUʻRE HERE, IʻM HEALINʻ

             AND I WAS RUNNINʻ OUTTA LUCK

             I NEVER THOUGHT IʻD FIND THIS FEELING

             ʻCAUSE IʻVE BEEN HEARINʻ SYMPHONIES

              BEFORE ALL I HEARD WAS SILENCE

             A RHAPSODY FOR YOU AND ME

             AND EVERY MELODY IS TIMELESS

-    Manon moves to sit beside Aelin on the piano bench.    -

Aelin and Manon:     AND NOW YOUR SONG IS ON REPEAT

                                 AND IʻM DANCING ONTO YOUR HEARTBEAT

                                AND WHEN YOUʻRE GONE I FEEL INCOMPLETE

                                SO, IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH

Aelin:    I JUST WANNA BE PART OF YOUR SYMPHONY

            WILL YOU HOLD ME TIGHT AND NOT LET GO?

            SYMPHONY

            LIKE A LOVE SONG ON THE RADIO

            WILL YOU HOLD ME TIGHT AND NOT LET GO?

-     The women lean into each other.    -

Aelin and Manon:     Ah-Ah-Ah-Aah-Ah-Ah-Ah

                                 Ah-Ah-Ah-Aah-Ah-Ah-Ah

                    AND NOW YOUR SONG IS ON REPEAT

                    AND IʻM DANCING ONTO YOUR HEARTBEAT

                    AND WHEN YOUʻRE GONE I FEEL INCOMPLETE

                    SO, IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH

Aelin:      OH

           I JUST WANNA BE PART OF YOUR SYMPHONY

           WILL YOU HOLD ME TIGHT AND NOT LET GO?

           SYMPHONY

           LIKE A LOVE SONG ON THE RADIO

          OH, SYMPHONY

           WILL YOU HOLD ME TIGHT AND NOT LET GO?

           SYMPHONY

           LIKE A LOVE SONG ON THE RADIO

           WILL YOU HOLD ME TIGHT AND NOT LET GO?

   The ballroom fills with applause and the boastful cheers from the men. The girls sarcastically get up and bow, like after a recital performance. Realizing that they donʻt have much time, they rush to the Lido deck and seek out Emrys and Luca. 

   They track the two down and ask for a picture, Aelin stands in between the them and as Aedion counts down, “Say cheese, one...two..” Aelin swipes Lucaʻs chef hat and put itʻs on quickly as the picture snaps. They look over the photo and laugh at a mischievous grin on Aelinʻs face and a confused, grumpy Luca not looking at the camera but instead at Aelin.

   Having another bright idea, Aelin runs to the large chess board game on the deck and catches a selfie with the giant King and Queen chess pieces. When she returns to Emrysʻ station, a familiar back is seated in the stool she was just accompanying, and she had another brilliant idea.

“Sam? Hi,” he turns and realizes who she was.

“Oh hi!,” he responds kindly, “Iʻm sorry, I donʻt think I got your name.”

“Aelin,” she gives her hand out for a handshake, he returns with a firm, grip.

“Well itʻs nice to officially meet you, Aelin,” her cheeks warm.

“This may seem like a forward request, but is there anyway my friends and I could see the shipʻs steering wheel? Iʻm told youʻre the captain,” she smirks.

He chuckles, “One of them yes, and totally, let me take you guys.”

   She gets Manon, Aedion, Dorian, and Fenrys and introduces them to Sam and vice versa, mentioning that heʻs the captain and heʻll be showing them the ships steering wheel. He leads them to the command bridge, on the way Manon pulls her aside.

“Ace we can knock out three birds with one stone,”

“What are you talking about?” Aelin says, not quite understanding.

“Kiss him in front of the steering wheel.”

“What?”

“In the photo weʻll have the steering wheel, check, a team member kissing a stranger, check, and a staff member (the higher rank, the more points) aka, CAPTAIN! 3 items, one picture, plus we donʻt have much time left, come on.”

Pressured by the time constraint, Aelin caves. “Fine. Have your phone ready.”

   Aelin hurries back to the front near Fenrys and Sam, staying close to both. They make it to the command bridge and Sam gives them a tour of the different controls, putting on his captainʻs cap, a look that suited him, Aelin thought. 

They stood in front of the steering wheel and Aelin quietly asked Sam, “I apologize, another forward request,”

“Iʻm getting the feeling that thatʻs your thing,” he whispers back. She softly snickers.

“Could I kiss you?”

   Obviously taken off guard, Sam blushes, then cups Aelinʻs face in his hands and brushes a soft, sensual kiss to her lips. Manon takes the photo. Aelin melts in his touch, returning the kiss with more fervor. Aedionʻs forced cough ruins the moment, the two disconnecting, both with warm, rosy complexions.

“Um, thank you for the tour, we have to go now,” Aedion says plainly. Manon and Dorian quietly laugh and the group make their leave, Aelin joins once out of earshot. 

   They return to the Lido deck and split up to try and get the last few items on the list. Aedion assigns himself to find the ice cream and the 3 food menus, Manon and Dorian volunteer for the spa brochure and mini golf game, and they go their separate ways. 

   Aelin and Fenrys stand at the edge of the pool when he turns his back to the pool and faces her.

“You know, I must confess, I find you extremely attractive,” he professes.

“Is that so, pretty boy?” She moves her palms to lay flat on his chest, looking up to him. She starts to tippy-toe, and he leans forward in for a kiss. When their faces get an inch apart she pushes him forward, he flails into the pool, and she laughs her guts out.

   She whips out her phone and takes a photo of an unamused, cock-blocked Fenrys in the pool. She looks around the pool, looking for a life preserver ring nearby. She catches sight of one hooked up to the deck railing. She releases it and returns to the pool, Fenrys just getting out, dripping water everywhere. 

   She hands him the phone and he snaps a few photos of her posing in her bikini with the life preserver ring, satisfied and proud of his work, he whistles back up at his model.

   Dorian and Manon return warning them that it is time to meet back with the other team. Aedion returns shortly after with a mustache of ice cream. Aelin cleans him up and they travel back to their meeting place to determine a winning team. 

   Team one shows their photos and videos first. They had mainly the same idea as Aelinʻs group. For their King and Queen item, they took a photo of the King and Queen from a standard deck of cards. For their yellow duck, Lysandra took a picture of Aedionʻs matching boxer briefs to his trunks, the whole group found that humorous, but made sure he didn't feel embarrassed of his attire choices. One of the photos that Aelin picked out was their kissing stranger photo. In the frame was Rowan kissing a pale blonde woman with bright, cerulean eyes. 

“Ro, is that Remelle?” Fenrys asks, also pointing out the photo. 

“Yeah, Benson and Essar are here too,” Rowan responds, the first thing sheʻs heard him say all day. 

“Whoʻs Remelle?” Aelin asks, trying not to seem too eager to know.

“Remelle, Benson, and Essar are our regular groupies, they follow us literally everywhere we go, theyʻre at every show, every concert. Pretty much our biggest fans,” Fenrys informs her.

“Biggest stalkers,” Lorcan corrects.

“Still strangers though, they know everything about us, we know nothing about them really,” Connal defends, making the record clear that the photo is still valid. 

   Team two takes their turn showing their photos and videos. Fenrys emphasizing Aelinʻs squat video, her and Manonʻs dancing pictures, their song, and the photos he just took of her and the life preserver ring. The other team, especially Elide and Lysandra, hype her and Manon up, calling them “hotties” and a “baddies” every so often.

   Manon shows the photo of Aelin and Sam. Elide and Lys gasp, “Is that THE Sam?” Aelin laughs and nods. “Good work Ace.”

   Dorian calculates the final points and calls for attention.

“Great job today everyone, you all did amazing. Results are in, team one got 112 points,” everyone applauses in congratulations, “and team two got 124, congratulations team two!” 

   Everyone cheers and congratulates each other, very maturely and sportsman-like. They spend the rest of the afternoon splashing each other and playing in the pool.

Night 4 - AT SEA - “No band performance tonight, Live Crew Performances during Dinner!

   The two bands stayed in the water for hours, playing throughout the glorious sunset. They had definitely gotten closer, more comfortable with each other. Throughout the play fighting they discussed possibly teaming up on shows and performing together. Itʻs an idea. It would probably be really fun, adding a different dynamic to both groups.

   Aelin notices Rowan laying on a pool deck chair, staring into the sky. She exits the pool, dries off a little and joins him, laying down on the deck chair next to him, star gazing into the extraordinary abyss of light. Heʻs the first one to break the silence.

“Lyria was really into astronomy,” he chocked a little, not enough to pick up unless you knew him, “she knew all the constellations by name, all the galaxies,” his gaze never leaving the cosmos. “Sometimes I like to think that sheʻs one of these stars now, burning bright, watching over me every night.”

“She soundʻs incredible. I wish I could have met her”

He smiles, “I think you would have liked her.”

She turns her head, adjusting her arm to rest her head on her forearm, facing him. “Tell me more about her?”

   He obliges. He tells the story of how he and Lyria first met, running into each other on their way to class, dropping all her books and supplies and bumping heads when they both reached down to pick them up. He shares of their first date, their first kiss. 

   She couldn't remember being tired but something about Rowanʻs voice soothed her into submission, her eyelids dropping with weight. Before she knew it she passed out, falling asleep right there on a deck chair, listening to her ex talk about his dead fiance. 

   When she finally awoke in the middle of the night, she was back in her bed, her comforter tucked into her sides. How did I make it back here? She didnʻt have the energy to investigate her questions, the night claimed her once again and she drifted off one last time. 

----------------------

All Hands on Deck taglist:   bolded tags aren't taggable, lmk what I can do

@smalltddygothgf 

@booksbqueen

@underworldboxers

@live-the-fangirl-life

@islabyrnex

@kathi2599​

@booknerdproblems​ 

@rowaelinismyotp​ 

[roughrudesea]

top 5 Shakespeare monologues?

I DESERVE THIS 😤

1. Richard II 3.2

No matter where; of comfort no man speak: Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs; Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth, Let’s choose executors and talk of wills: And yet not so, for what can we bequeath Save our deposed bodies to the ground? Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke’s, And nothing can we call our own but death And that small model of the barren earth Which serves as paste and cover to our bones. For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground And tell sad stories of the death of kings; How some have been deposed; some slain in war, Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed; Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d; All murder’d: for within the hollow crown That rounds the mortal temples of a king Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits, Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp, Allowing him a breath, a little scene, To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks, Infusing him with self and vain conceit, As if this flesh which walls about our life, Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus Comes at the last and with a little pin Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king! Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood With solemn reverence: throw away respect, Tradition, form and ceremonious duty, For you have but mistook me all this while: I live with bread like you, feel want, Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus, How can you say to me, I am a king?

WHAT CAN I SAY. I heard a friend do this monologue in an acting class almost a decade ago and even with zero context, I thought about it for years. Finally reading the play only made me love it more. 

2. The Tempest 5.1

Ye elves of hills, brooks, standing lakes and groves, And ye that on the sands with printless foot Do chase the ebbing Neptune and do fly him When he comes back; you demi-puppets that By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make, Whereof the ewe not bites, and you whose pastime Is to make midnight mushrooms, that rejoice To hear the solemn curfew; by whose aid, Weak masters though ye be, I have bedimm'd The noontide sun, call'd forth the mutinous winds, And 'twixt the green sea and the azured vault Set roaring war: to the dread rattling thunder Have I given fire and rifted Jove's stout oak With his own bolt; the strong-based promontory Have I made shake and by the spurs pluck'd up The pine and cedar: graves at my command Have waked their sleepers, oped, and let 'em forth By my so potent art. But this rough magic I here abjure, and, when I have required Some heavenly music, which even now I do, To work mine end upon their senses that This airy charm is for, I'll break my staff, Bury it certain fathoms in the earth, And deeper than did ever plummet sound I'll drown my book.

A solemn air and the best comforter To an unsettled fancy cure thy brains, Now useless, boil'd within thy skull! There stand, For you are spell-stopp'd. Holy Gonzalo, honourable man, Mine eyes, even sociable to the show of thine, Fall fellowly drops. The charm dissolves apace, And as the morning steals upon the night, Melting the darkness, so their rising senses Begin to chase the ignorant fumes that mantle Their clearer reason. O good Gonzalo, My true preserver, and a loyal sir To him you follow'st! I will pay thy graces Home both in word and deed. Most cruelly Didst thou, Alonso, use me and my daughter: Thy brother was a furtherer in the act. Thou art pinch'd fort now, Sebastian. Flesh and blood, You, brother mine, that entertain'd ambition, Expell'd remorse and nature; who, with Sebastian, Whose inward pinches therefore are most strong, Would here have kill'd your king; I do forgive thee, Unnatural though thou art. Their understanding Begins to swell, and the approaching tide Will shortly fill the reasonable shore That now lies foul and muddy. Not one of them That yet looks on me, or would know me Ariel, Fetch me the hat and rapier in my cell: I will discase me, and myself present As I was sometime Milan: quickly, spirit; Thou shalt ere long be free.

I’m honestly shocking myself slightly by not listing “We are such stuff,” but even thinking about this part of the play gives me chills. I love the journey Prospero goes on in this: watching him give up his magic and decide to forgive his former enemies is so engaging--and the language is completely unmatched.

3. The Tempest 4.1

You do look, my son, in a moved sort, As if you were dismay'd: be cheerful, sir. Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits and Are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep. Sir, I am vex'd; Bear with my weakness; my, brain is troubled: Be not disturb'd with my infirmity: If you be pleased, retire into my cell And there repose: a turn or two I'll walk, To still my beating mind.

Okay I lied -- had to include “We are such stuff.” How could I not? I’m a Tempest and a Prospero stan. How could I NOT list this one when it is like *THE* iconic monologue?

4. Hamlet, 3.3

O, my offense is rank it smells to heaven; It hath the primal eldest curse upon't, A brother's murder. Pray can I not, Though inclination be as sharp as will: My stronger guilt defeats my strong intent; And, like a man to double business bound, I stand in pause where I shall first begin, And both neglect. What if this cursed hand Were thicker than itself with brother's blood, Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens To wash it white as snow? Whereto serves mercy But to confront the visage of offense? And what's in prayer but this two-fold force, To be forestalled ere we come to fall, Or pardon'd being down? Then I'll look up; My fault is past. But, O, what form of prayer Can serve my turn? 'Forgive me my foul murder'? That cannot be; since I am still possess'd Of those effects for which I did the murder, My crown, mine own ambition and my queen. May one be pardon'd and retain the offense? In the corrupted currents of this world Offense's gilded hand may shove by justice, And oft 'tis seen the wicked prize itself Buys out the law: but 'tis not so above; There is no shuffling, there the action lies In his true nature; and we ourselves compell'd, Even to the teeth and forehead of our faults, To give in evidence. What then? what rests? Try what repentance can: what can it not? Yet what can it when one can not repent? O wretched state! O bosom black as death! O limed soul, that, struggling to be free, Art more engaged! Help, angels! Make assay! Bow, stubborn knees; and, heart with strings of steel, Be soft as sinews of the newborn babe! All may be well.

3.3 is my favorite scene in Hamlet. I LOVE the tableau of Claudius praying, and Hamlet right behind him, ready to strike. Hamlet the character obviously has some incredible speeches, but this Claudius monologue is the one that always stands out to me: it is such a juicy glimpse into his inner psyche that is more carefully guarded for the rest of the play, and I love this moment (however brief) of unraveling.

5. Macbeth 5.5

She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word. To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

Forgive me for being so basic but I would really be lying to myself if I didn’t list this. Although this one, more than others, really depends on the actor. I have seen some renditions of this monologue I really do not jive with, but when it’s done well, it is top tier. 

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: May 2020

Well there’s another month come and gone. TV and books seems to be what I gravitate towards whilst in quarantine. Anyway here’s the month of May in a wordy nutshell!

……….FILM……….

Blockers (2018) I was mostly drawing while my partner watched this but from what I heard and occasionally saw, it was fun! Silly and gross and I’m not reeeeally sure who the target demo was, but it had a modern and more nuanced perspective on sexuality so that’s cool.

……….TELEVISION……….

Mad Men (Episode 1.11 to 3.03) WHO KNEW THIS SHOW WAS SO GOOD?!? The amount of screentime dedicated to advertising seems to be dwindling a bit, but oooooh there’s still so much juicy office drama (something I think I enjoy because of being self-employed and working from home). It looks like we’ll fail at our attempt to finish the series before it leaves Netflix in June but it was fun while it lasted.

Sex and the City (Episode 1.01 to 2.06) Returning to this for something when we don’t have time to watch Mad Men (or need something lighter) and it’s hitting the spot. We’re slowly getting past the era of randos talking to the camera (and mostly past Carrie breaking the fourth wall). I was in college when I first watched this and I’ve come to realize how much I’ve grown as a human as I only now have enough self-awareness to recognize I’m a Charlotte. 

Gravity Falls (Episode 1.09 to 1.15) We’ve since slowed down on this a bit but I’m really excited to get back into it as season 2 is just so good!

Disney Gallery: Star Wars: The Mandalorian (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) The first three eps didn’t really do much for me. The one on the directors was cool as I didn’t realize how many there were, but it would’ve been great if they talked a little more about what they brought to the table or why they took this on. Ep 4 on technology was more my speed but overall this still kinda just feels like surface level stuff. Loooots of time spent on actors and directors and professionals complimenting each other and I am not here for that.

……….READING……….

Illuminatus! Part 1: The Eye in the Pyramid by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson (Page 204/304) What a trip. It’s pretty much what I expected from an comedic book revolving around the illuminati/secret societies from the 1970s, though it took me ages to adjust to the writing style. I’m really enjoying it, but be warned that there’s no major break between narrators so it can jump between plots with each new paragraph. It feels, at times, like a tone poem, but maybe that’s me putting more of the generation into the text than was intended. Again, I think I like it, but am pretty sure I’m missing a lot. 

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (Complete) Such a stellar read. I loved Novik’s Uprooted and while you could read either in any order, they both feel of the same world. Both books are full of fairytale danger akin to the traditional stories. They’re beautiful and uncertain and familiar and new. I realize I’m being super vague and general but it’s because it’s so hard to pin down what’s excellent about this book. It’s just good and if you like fantasy and classic fairy tales with layered characters and a more nuanced approach to good and evil then read this AND Uprooted.

Umbrella Academy Volume 3: Hotel Oblivion by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba  (Complete) It’s great to get back to this world but I think I need to give it another read. The first two volumes were frantic, but there was typically a clear drive or sense of what the big picture was. Volume 3 felt like a buildup or segue into the next story being told and that’s...not great.

Satania by Fabien Vehlmann and Kerascoet (Complete) I’ve rambled at length about how much I love past books by these two (particularly Beautiful Darkness) but this one didn’t connect quite the same. The story only scratched the surface of (admittedly really interesting) themes and I would’ve loved for it to get fleshed out further. The art is consistently incredible and their take on a subterranean world is breathtaking. I recommend if you want to read every book by these two, but wouldn’t suggest this as your first introduction (for that, Beautiful Darkness, or Beauty).

Hellboy Library Edition Vol 5 & 6 by Mike Mignola, Duncan Fegredo, Dave Stewart (vol.5 and 6), and others (vol. 6) (Complete) A return to form. Fegredo is such a great choice for taking over from Mignola for the main story. The final story in volume 6 is still a weird choice to me (especially since the penultimate one would’ve been much better) but I’m so excited to read the next volume. Such an cool chapter in comics history.

GRRL SCOUTS by Jim Mahfood (Complete) Very late 90s. Like soooooooo 90s. Some of the writing hasn’t aged well, but it’s interesting to see how much things have changed in...oh jeez 20 YEARS! 

……….AUDIO……….

Staying In with Emily & Kumail (Podcast) As a dedicated listener to their old podcast, The Indoor Kids, it’s great to listen to these two again. Also weirdly comforting that their dynamic and personalities (at least as far as podcasting is concerned) hasn’t changed over the years between then and now. It’s gotta be at least 4 or 5 years, right? Anyway, this is a good listen if you’re navigating the pandemic (jk, we’re all doing that).

Articles of Interest (Podcast) So I think this is technically a miniseries put out by 99% Invisible but I loved season 1 and season 2 is just as good. Every episode is concise and these latest episodes are really diving into new parts of the fashion industry. Very cool.

Unravel Season 4: Snowball (Podcast) I checked this out on a recommendation since our mutual friend went through a similar situation (getting romantically involved with a perpetual con artist) and it was so interesting to see the overlap. It’s just such a wild story of deception and habitual lying and theft and manipulation. Great listen.

Dedicated Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen Exactly the sort of pick-me-up we need right now. Good stuff. Always a treat. Very happy.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The latest session had the group spending...maybe 25 minutes sorting out how they were going to approach the Jolly Roger (ship of the dreaded Captain Hook). Their plan is a mixture of stealth and impersonating what amounts to Pirate Ship Quality Control. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway I’m really excited by how the group is exploring the island and for this book to come out in October!

D&D Homebrew Adventure (Menace of Merlin) The group is sorting out a curse/illness plaguing one of the character’s hometown and...the timing of this plot is not ideal BUT everyone seems to be okay with it. They took out some orcs and hopefully will be able to find the hermit that can help with the slow petrification of the village.

Tyranny of Dragons /Gainfully Employed (Wizards of the Coast) I’m not sure I posted about this last month but the party has just sorted out the cause of a failing lighthouse (that’s magical) and brought the culprit to justice! Now to head out of Phlan and sort out some silly rumors that I’m sure are nonsense.

And that’s it! As always, hit me with your recommendations if you have something I should read/play/watch/or listen to!

Happy Sunday.

[cats-obsessions]

Mark Your Love in Ink Part 2

A Geraskier soulmates au

Part one - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Rating: T

Chapters: 2 of 5? 

Notes: I decided to split this up into 5 parts, but on ao3, I posted parts 2-4 in one chapter. So, if you want to read ahead, read on ao3

It turns out, Geralt can run from ‘fate’ but not Jaskier. Somehow, Jaskier worms his way into his life. Forcefully. And deeply. What he expects to be shared milkshakes and parted ways turns into Jaskier following him to the warehouse, determined to set his eyes on some monsters- lucky for them, the ‘monsters’ weren’t werewolves or noonwraiths like he had expected. Nope, they were elves. Angry elves that captured Geralt and Jaskier, bashed the starving artist’s guitar and kicked them both in the gut. Geralt was able to reason with them, and Jaskier was given a lute for his troubles, but he didn’t get any money for his troubles.

As the sun began to rise over the city, bright lights reflecting off of the buildings, they parted ways. The younger man smiled at Geralt with sunshine in his eyes and said “I’d offer you my number, but I suppose you already have it,” which was true- even if it weren’t on his body, Geralt’s had it memorized for years. He was surprised, though, when the musician added “This was fun. Let’s do it again sometime,” with a genuine warmth that told Geralt he wasn’t lying. He was sure that misadventure would have driven the boy away, but he didn’t seem deterred. If anything, he seemed more interested.

Geralt practically passed out once he got home, eager to sleep rather than focus on the situation. He was more alarmed to find the familiar number texting him once he awoke. How did he even get his number?

It didn’t seem to matter much. The next thing Geralt knows, he’s getting roped into going for coffee or drinks, then just hanging out doing things he’d never bothered spending time on before, like playing video games. Then, Jaskier starts showing up at his apartment whenever he wants. Geralt tried to argue, but Roach, his cat, loves Jaskier almost as much as she loves Geralt, which is odd considering she scratches up most strangers.

Every step of the way, he tries and tries to push back against this odd little human that seems set on getting close to him, and every battle he picks, he finds himself losing. When Jaskier starts following him to jobs, he knows he’s gone too far to turn back.

That he was not fond of, but Jaskier is the most persistent thing he’s ever met- like a weed. At first it was just local jobs, things he knew Jaskier could watch without getting in the way, but then he started following him on longer jobs. And, well it’s kind of nice to have someone to camp with, especially when he can convince the musician to stay at the camp while he hunts. He even proves to be useful once or twice. Six months later, Geralt finds himself with an intrusive friend with blurred lines and a lack of respect for personal space.

But it’s not bad, surprisingly.

Geralt finds himself smiling more. Jaskier is tactile and unafraid to show emotion in a way that’s almost frightening after so many years of being a loner. And Geralt, he puts up with it- at least that’s what he says. In reality, he does his best to keep his emotions from spilling out of ‘friends’ and toward something more.

Because he doesn’t believe in fate or destiny.

A soulmate bond is a social concept made up to explain magical connections that only go skin deep.

That’s all it is.

So, he doesn’t fall for Jaskier as if he could prove how fake Destiny is by refusing to feel.

--

Geralt hums some song that’s been stuck in his head for days- certainly not because the dumb musician had been playing it last time they saw each other. He’s cooking dinner one late evening when he hears his apartment door handle jiggle followed by several knocks. Does he really expect it to be unlocked for him all the time?

As soon as he unlocks the door, it’s being opened by the musician on the other side. He’s a little flushed and his hair is messy as he complains “If you gave me a key, this would be easier.”

“If I gave you a key, you’d never leave me alone.” Geralt rolls his eyes. “Did you bike here in the middle of the night?” he asks, noticing the helmet in one of his hands, a duffle bag in the other, and his lute thrown over his shoulder “and what’s all this?”

“My stuff- for our trip.” Jaskier answers as if it were obvious. He throws his bag down, slips off his shoes, and begins to make himself at home. Geralt watches as Jaskier moves to the living room, stopping to pet Roach on his way. The brown tabby shoves her head into Jaskier’s palm, meowing happily to greet him. Geralt does his best not to smile at the sight.

Their trip. Geralt had tried to convince him to sit this one out to no avail. It will be a week-long trip at the least- granted he can even find the beast. He got reports of a possible griffon terrorizing an isolated town a few days north of them. They’ll have to drive part way, then hike through the forests and camp there for however long it will take to find and defeat it. But Jaskier hasn’t seen a griffon yet, and he’s enamored with them- that’s probably Geralt’s fault, though.

“We don’t leave for two more days, Jaskier.” Geralt reminds him.

“It’s better to be prepared early, isn’t it?”

Geralt lets it go, turning back to his cooking. Jaskier can entertain himself if he’s so set on showing up unannounced. Though, Geralt throws an extra pork cutlet on the pan; the gods know the boy doesn’t eat enough real food.

He can hear the musician talking to Roach in the background. He’s almost surprised Jaskier hasn’t pestered him about his day yet. But, he doesn’t refrain from taking advantage of the momentary silence. With the meat on the pan, crackling and popping while it cooks, there’s nothing to do but wait. So, he pulls out his phone and scrolls mindlessly through the local news. He doesn’t care much for politics, but occasionally things will pop up that point to creatures, monsters, and jobs.

‘Local YouTuber Dies in Attempt to Catch Kikimora’

A dark figure can be seen in the background of what he assumes is a screen shot from the recording. “It’s an Ekimmara, you morons.” Geralt scoffs under his breath. Typical. Mankind has been chasing after monsters since the dawn of time. The widespread use of cameras only made things worse. He scrolls down further, and another headline pops out to him.

‘Local Dive Bar Found to be Drug Front: Shoot Out Between Owners Leaves Renters Evicted’

Also not terribly surprising; humans are always doing these kinds of things. Over his near century of a life, he’s seen more deaths from greed than monsters could ever cause. But, wait… he looks closer, picking up the details of the image provided. Isn’t that-

“Jaskier, what the fuck?” he barks, turning to face the man now sprawled out on his couch.

“What did I do?” he asks innocently, though the cringe he’s trying to hide tells the witcher he knows exactly what he did.

“You didn’t think to start with ‘Penellie’s had a shoot-out.’!?”

“Ah,” Jaskier starts uncomfortably. “Right- well, you know, it didn’t seem like the most important thing.” he looks down to fidget with his nails- a telltale nervous habit.

Geralt bites back his urge to press for more information “Are you okay?” He asks, finding himself out of his comfort zone.

“Of course! I’ve seen a lot worse.” Jaskier shrugs.

“Wait, were you there when it happened?”

“No, no, dear witcher. I was in my apartment. Apparently,” He starts with renewed energy, “the whole building has drugs in the walls! Those possums that were always making racket- Probably thugs shoving drug packets into our shared walls. I guess Penellie and James had a disagreement about how to split the funds. It wasn’t so much as a shoot out as shooting each other in the close confines of their office.” Jaskier makes a gun shape with his hand as he says it, pretending to shoot at Geralt. “Guess renting from your boss isn’t that good of an idea, huh?”

“Who woulda thunk.” Geralt murmurs flatly, remember the exact words ‘don’t rent from your boss’ coming out of his mouth when Jaskier moved to that dump six months ago. Of course, Jaskier was working as a bartender, and Geralt expected him to get fired and evicted in one go rather than an unknowing renter of drug lords. “They didn’t make you ID the bodies or anything, did they?” he pushes. He’s not sure why it matters to him.

“Oh, come on now. It’s very nice of you to think you have to protect my innocence, but like I said- I’ve seen worse. Specifically, I’ve seen you do much worse. You know, most people have never seen the intestines of anything much less helped dig a liver out of a cave troll or pull teeth from a foglet while brain matter is splattered around them. You’re quite lucky I’m so well adjusted.” Jaskier rambles, accentuating his words with wild gestures of his hands. Geralt ignores it, though.

“You’ve never seen me kill a human.”

“Well, you haven’t recently, right?” he says nonchalantly like he wouldn’t be bothered if the answer were yes.

Geralt shakes his head “Not supposed to, though I’m tempted often,” he grumbles, shooting Jaskier a glare. The musician sees the fondness behind it though and chuckles a little. Somehow, he seems to know Geralt’s only so exasperated because he cares- against his best efforts not to, of course.

Geralt finishes up in the kitchen and pops the caps off two beers, handing one to Jaskier along with a plate of food.

“Oh, thanks! You don’t have to, though,” Jaskier smiles, a little blush tinging his cheeks. Geralt pretends he doesn’t notice.

“Had extra,” he murmurs, shoving Jaskier’s feet off the couch so he can sit and eat as well. After a few bites of food and a long drink of beer, he finally asks “What now?”

“Well, the place across the street will probably have a drop in price,” Jaskier smirks.

“Seriously? Should live somewhere safer.”

“I would, but you know I can’t afford that… I suppose I could get a roommate” Jaskier says, biting his lip as he stares at Geralt.

The witcher grunts. He knows exactly what Jaskier is asking even without the words leaving his mouth.

“Come on, Geralt! It’d be fun!” He pesters “You live in a dump, too. Roach deserves better than this! Don’t you, Roachy?” he coos, the cat mewls at him as though she’s agreeing. Traitor. “We could afford something a bit nicer together. And I promise I won’t get in your way more than usual. No jam sessions late at night or early in the morning. I’ll even cook sometimes. Please… Unless, you want me to find some stranger from Craigslist to live with me… But hm, isn’t that how the Craigslist killer found his victims?”

Geralt grimaces. “No- he killed a masseuse he hired through craigslist.” Is Jaskier even old enough to remember when that happened?

“Ah, I thought he asked them on dates,” Jaskier muses.

“No, you’re thinking of the Grindr- no, the Tinder killer.”

“Ah, so Grindr is a safe app to find roommates with then?” Jaskier asks, tilting his head as if it were an innocent question; he bites his fork as if he were thinking- fucker even flutters his long eyelashes. Geralt does his very best not to stare at his over obvious flirting. He knows exactly what Jaskier is doing, yet that doesn’t seem to prevent it from working.

Geralt groans, pinching the bridge of his nose “Mac n’ cheese doesn’t count as cooking. No unannounced guests, and do not touch my swords when I’m gone.”

“Really?!”

“Don’t make me regret this, Pancratz.”

“Yes! You won’t- I promise.” Jaskier beams.

A silence falls over them while they eat before Jaskier pipes up again “Wanna watch the Monster from Brokilon? it’s the one with the Leshen!”

“Witchers don’t even know that much about Leshens; I can only assume what kinds of inaccuracies are in this movie.”

Jaskier smirks, “You can lecture me about it afterwards.”

It has become somewhat of a past time for Jaskier to find various old and horrible horror movies to force Geralt to watch. At first, he was simply curious if there was any truth in them, but once he found Geralt ranting about their atrocious and uneducated portrayals of even the simplest beasts, he seemed determined to put the witcher through more.

For some reason Geralt puts up with it. Jaskier usually ends up talking over it half the time anyways, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy having someone to share his monster facts with. There’s something that lights up in the musician’s eyes whenever they talk about creatures and adventures; he doesn’t shy away from it like other humans.

So, he hums contentedly as Jaskier sets up the movie. When it starts, Geralt rests his arm on the back of the couch as he always does. It’s not his fault if somewhere in the night, Jaskier scoots closer and closer until he’s pressed up against the witcher. He’s just like that. And if he falls asleep, his head drooping to rest on Geralt’s shoulder, the witcher only lets him because Jaskier’s had a rough day.

[minnochu]

Lustrous (pt. 10)

Hybrid!Kook x Reader AU

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3 | Pt 4 | Pt 5 | Pt 6 | Pt 7 | Pt 8 | Pt 9 | Pt 10 | Pt 11 | Pt 12 | Pt 13 | Pt 14 | Pt 15 | Pt 16 | Pt 17 | Pt 18 | Pt 19

A/N: Why hello. Enjoy. Is all I have to say LOL.

**I tried to proof it the best I could LOL so please forgive any dumb mistakes. I’ll also update my masterlist and links later on ‘cause I’m at work right now LOL 

It’s been hours since Seokjin purified the thorns and the boys relaxed and went back to sleep. They went on alert at the sight of dark magic but relaxed… sort of… when it was found to only be the unconscious doing of your powers. 

The warlock could only pace around in a fit of anxiety. The more he thought about it, he knew the only logical explanation was the Blackwell blood inside you. With the siphoned magic in the stone, it’s finally activating your power as a witch that you have only begun trying to control.

He wondered if it was just your unconscious, or your emotions out of control from the stress of trying to learn as much as you could. There was no way his textbooks had any dark magic, nor did he ever teach you anything of the sort. Then could it have been the time when you and Yahiko were attacked by their surprise package? Had your body recognized the magic?

It seemed impossible but also a likely possibility given how quickly you excelled at understanding and using witchcraft.

If your body got too used to the dark magic festering from your stone and integrating with your aura, he didn’t want to imagine how it’d affect your mind. The Blackwells were known for their dark and conniving nature due to the overuse of the dark arts. It would play with your mind, slowly eat away at your purity. It would change you.

Seokjin couldn’t allow for that to happen to you. However, he couldn’t deny that if you were to inevitably fall under the clutches of the dark arts, he wasn’t sure how to bring you back without hurting you.

Holding onto a tray of rice porridge and tea, he took a deep breath and entered Jungkook’s room. Ignoring the automatic growl that sounds from the wolf’s chest. Blue eyes glare right at him as the younger’s arm constrict tighter around your body that curled against his. After your episode, you wouldn’t stop crying and breathing heavily in a fit of anxiety.

He must’ve realized what he was doing, aqua eyes disappearing as soon as he blinked and looked away with a grimace, “S-sorry hyung… it’s the wolf…”

“I know,” the elder chuckles good heartedly, setting down the tray on his desk, “In case she’s hungry.”

“Thanks,” Jungkook says, glancing down at you.

Right before the warlock can leave, you heave a big sigh and turn to call out to him, “Wait!” He turns and you feel discouraged suddenly. However, Seokjin offers a gentle smile, prodding you to go on and continue.

“What’s wrong with me?” You ask finally with a heaved sigh. “Why do I feel a nasty intent from my magic? Why is it any different from your magic?”

Seokjin bit his lip, moving to take a seat on the bed, cautious of Jungkook’s wolf flaring in jealousy.

“Nothing’s wrong with you (Y/n),” He sighs, holding out a hand for you to take, “The Blackwells have a chain around you… is my hypothesis at least… I believe it’s in your blood that you recognize dark magic, I suppose it must be why you’re so prodigious at witchcraft..”

He notices your deepening frown and smiles, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head over that stuff though, it’s quite impressive how far you’ve come in such a short amount of time… although I would like to watch over your unconscious use of dark magic. I’d like for you to stay out of the darkness.”

You scrunch your nose at the cryptic advice, opening your mouth to ask what he means by that but you shut it when he smiles and gets up to leave. There’s something in that smile and the subtle way his eyes close much like a cheshire cat that tells you to be quiet and accept his answer. You have to leave it at that, giving in as the warlock takes his leave from the room.

Placing a hand over the amber stone lying on your chest, you grimace as you recall your nightmare. The thought made you visibly shiver at the implication of what would happen if the Blackwells got a hold of you. After all… the dream depicted the burning of Minerva.

Despite your finicky memory, you felt your heart hurt at the sight of your mother in such a state. Bare of any clothes, her injured body was shackled to a stake in the ground. Further scrutinization showed the shackles emitting a dark miasma from their thorny locks as her fellow witches gathered around with black flames burning in their palms. It reminded you of the flame that appeared at the tip of your index finger, making you shiver at the reminder of your bloodline. Biting your lip, you can hear the echoes of her horrified screams of the black flames engulfing her body.

“Hey.”

You flinch, looking up at Jungkook who averts his gaze immediately. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he looked anywhere but at your face, “Um… are you alright?”

Despite him avoiding your eyes, you can make out the pink burning at his cheeks as he realizes he still has his arms around you and pulls away suddenly. You feel your mouth frown slightly at the loss, but it can’t be helped with how awkward you both are still.

“I’m fine… but are you okay?” you ask, recalling the torn state of his shirt. You didn’t want him to leave your side as soon as you came to after your nightmarish episode, so he didn’t have the chance to change out of his ruined clothes.

“What are you talking about dummy?” His brows furrowed as he pokes at your forehead, “That was nothing, I’m all healed up.”

You confirm this as he lifts his torn sleeve to show you his unmarred shoulder where he had been pierced through. You visibly relax at this but Jungkook looks away remembering the searing pain he felt. He wondered if that was the result of dark magic, but he didn’t want to dwell on it and make you feel worse than you already do for putting him in danger.

“Don’t worry about it,” He brushes it off, rising from the bed to grab new clothes to put on, mulling over asking Seokjin to mend his clothes later on.

You jump at this, reaching out to snatch the hem of his shirt to stop him from leaving you completely. He turns with a raised brow, almost looking intimidating but you purse your lips.

“Um, do you wanna go out for a walk later?”

The wolf looks at your face, noticing how you avert your gaze shyly and wait for his answer. His heart beats in his chest at the expression and he pushes this thought aside to clear his throat awkwardly.

“Sure.”

.

“Thanks for coming out with me, Jungkook.”

The wolf grunted in agreement as you happily swung the plastic bags of ingredients for dinner. You decided it was finally time to get up and out of the house after your episode, proposing to Seokjin that you would make dinner tonight as thanks for his patience and help after what happened. He eventually agreed when you wouldn’t stop pestering him to let you out.

Although, it was cute having Jungkook following you around the grocery store like a puppy. He was taller than you were, but it was still endearing to go out like so. Thinking about it now, you feel your cheeks heat up at the implication it must’ve made to other shoppers.

Like an actual couple, you think in embarrassment. No way Jungkook would think of you in such a way. He’s so against breathing the same air as you, he would rather die than be anything close to lovers with you.

Even then, you can also sense Jimin and Taehyung trailing behind you both as a precaution made by Namjoon after your episode. They initially apologized for snooping on your “date” with the youngest, but you vehemently refused to call it a date.

“(Y/n).”

You blink as Jungkook stops, causing you to pause as well and look ahead of you. From beside you, the wolf tenses and a growl emanates from his chest as he stands in defense at the woman standing before you both. Something feels off from her aura, and you can feel it as well as her movements are slow and advancing towards you both. Her hair is messy and covering her face as she steps into the light of the street lamp. Her skin appears an unhealthy pale under the light and her hair moves out of the way when her head lulls backward to reveal her face.

Your stomach twists in anticipation, eyes squinting to observe her increasingly erratic movements before the person has disappeared in the blink of an eye and reappearing in front of you.

Large dark orbs stare right back at you as you recognize the face of your mother, but fail to protect yourself from the strike of her hand against your abdomen. Her hand forces itself like a spear into your body before dragging backwards, covered in your blood.

“M-mother?” you gasp, eyes wide as iron fills your mouth, hands shaking as you touch the wound at your waist. Your fingers shake as red taints your skin, but you can only stare in disbelief at Minerva.

It didn’t make sense. Even as your knees buckle and you fall into the arms of Jimin who catches you in record speed, your brain just can’t connect what you saw in your dream. Was it just a nightmare? What was going on?

Jungkook roars in anger, eyes bursting into a brilliant blue as he kicks off and seizes the reanimation of your mother by the neck. Lifting her off her feet, his grip surrounding her neck is so tight, he crushes it completely. However, she in turn, continues to move and latches onto his hand. Growling, he launches her into the ground, turning furiously at Jimin and Taehyung tending to your fallen body.

“Get her out of here!” he demands, blocking his face with his arms in an x-formation when the woman throws a heavy kick at him, “It’s a reanimation, get Seokjin!”

“N-no! That’s my mother!” You exclaim through rugged breaths as Jimin presses against your wound, wincing as his veins fill with a midnight liquid that surprisingly eases your searing pain. “I saw her die… I-I don’t know what’s going on.” Biting your lip, you look to the wolf helping you with pleading eyes, “Please Jimin, let me stay, I’ll be fine until Seokjin gets here.”

“Taehyung, go get Seokjin,” Jimin says to the vampire, knowing that you wouldn’t want to leave without knowing what’s going on. He knew it would be difficult to handle you if you didn’t get your way. The younger nods and vanishes, before quickly phasing back with the elder warlock whose brows are furrowed and a frown downturns his taut lips.

“Gosh, you kids, you go out just this once and attract more trouble,” he shakes his head and sighs exasperatedly as he kneels down to your level to heal your wounds, a light sphere emerging from his palm to press into your abdomen and heal as much as he could. The skin mends itself, along with any wounded internal organs, but you remain weak with the amount of blood you lost from the attack.

“What do we do hyung?” Jungkook asks between clenched teeth as he delivers a hook to the corpse’s face and sending it down temporarily. A resounding crack from it’s jaw is apparent, but it aggravates him that it continues to repair itself and stand again.

“I’m not quite sure myself,” the warlock admits timidly, “As far as I know, it gets complicated to deal with necromancy… I can’t just simply purify the reanimated corpse…” He waves his hand, “Mana visio electri”, and a crystallized shield unfolds in front of the wolf just as the woman launches herself at him. Her body slams against the hardened shield, the brunt of the force causing the barrier to shatter almost completely. Jungkook uses the momentary distraction, spin and swing his back leg around in a heel kick, smashing the bottom of his foot against her temple.

“Although, I do know of a skill that I can’t perform, but I know someone else who can,” He said in a matter of fact tone, although he didn’t like the implication of it. After all… the skill was dark magic. He only ever read of it once in the library. It was described as extremely powerful and could make a witch or warlock invincible if they could perfect it.

“Out with it then!” Taehyung said as he aided Jungkook in fighting back the reanimation. The vampire’s eyes glow a royal gold, fangs and nails growing as he bisects the woman at the waist. They watch in disbelief as the two halves merge together once again and Minerva is back on her feet.

Seokjin turned to you, smiling softly as you looked back weakly. Taking your hand in his, he took a deep breath and let his magic trickle into your body and to the stone. You feel a surge of energy as Seokjin leans close to whisper into your ear.

“I know I told you to not use this type of magic… but just this once alright?”

Jungkook grabs Minerva by her face, reeling his arm back then smashing her head into the ground before he and Taehyung jump back. You muster the last bit of your energy to hold out your hand as that familiar dark purple rune manifests in front of you.

‘absoluta inrita!’

Runes like chains, that weren’t visible before on the reanimation, suddenly light up and crack before ultimately shattering in an instant. You finally take a good look at the body, noticing your mother’s pale-ish gray skin and her blackened eyes, sclera no longer white. Those bastards. They killed your mother and made her into a puppet to kill you. With the spell broken, her skin cracks and flakes as her body begins to disintegrate. She looks you straight in the eyes, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach.

It was sad that you would meet your mother like this.

“D-did I do it?” You ask as Jimin and Taehyung help you up, Seokjin looking on with a frown on his face. You lean against the two, offering them a grateful smile for their protection and help.

“Yeah, you did well,” the warlock sighs as no trace of the reanimated corpse remains, “Please, please, please don’t use that spell unless under desperate circumstances.”

“Of course,” You smile, glad that the situation has been diffused, “Right, Jungkook?”

No answer meets your ears, not even a grunt like he usually does to make it seem like he’s disinterested. You look over at the wolf whose fringe creates a curtain over his eyes. His shoulders are tense and his breathing is audibly ragged. Noticeably, his fists are clenched, nails digging into the meat of his palms.

“Jungkook?” You repeat in confusion.

“Oh shit,” Jimin curses, looking down at your bloody abdomen, “Jungkook, stop.”

His eyes flash gold dangerously, but it does nothing to intimidate the 

You blink in confusion as Taehyung and Seokjin ready themselves defensively but they aren’t as quick as the wolf is as he lunges. You don’t even know if you could call it a lunge when he’s so quick that it appears like he’s teleporting.

“Mana visio electri!” Seokjin hurriedly chants but the shield protects nothing, it doesn’t manifest in time to stop the erratic wolf.

Soon, your world is tilting and your back slams against the ground abruptly as a weight presses on your stomach and legs. With the wind knocked out of you so suddenly, gasping for air that won’t come back, you can only wheeze as golden eyes burn into yours.

Golden? Had they always been golden?

If you look any closer, you can make out the flecks of blue within them as Jungkook glares at you furiously.

You wonder if you never noticed it this whole time as he licks his fingers soiled in your blood, noticeable fangs protruding more pungent than his usual wolf canines would have.

That his lustrous galaxy of blue, had always had little specks of gold.

And now, as he glares down at you with fervent hunger in his eyes that bleed gold and little blue, you realize why Hyejin didn’t want you around him and why he kept pushing you away.

You also realized in that moment. That Jungkook was a hybrid. Werewolf. And vampire.

.

Tags:  @twilight-loveer @reinyrei @mistytail @mygukandonlyficrecs@xanny91@unpocodesoledadywisky @xxqueenwxtchxx@lildemonangele@gukworld @sunnyoongles @zamirayinyue13 @hannahdearr@tiredjedi@sunnyoongles

[balphagor]

Elturel Has Fallen: An Orphan in hell - Part 1

Preface: In my D&D group we were playing Descent into Avernus and instead of doing the first section of the story they instead simply jumped off the floating city for... strange reasons, so this is my old high level character from the previous campaign traveling to Avernus for personal reasons playing through the opening quest in their place from his point of view.

After speaking with experts in Candlekeep on the process of infernal contracts and what happens to souls ensnared by them Orphan (A Drow, or Dark Elf male) used his magics and Plane Shifted himself to Baator or "The Nine Hells" to the first level of Avernus, concentrating his mind on a city there apparently names Elturel under the sage of Candlekeep he had met with.

A hot, stinging air assaults your senses. The city street in which you stand is lines with buildings that are crumbling, if not already collapsed. The ground shudders beneath your feet. In the red, smokey sky, a 400-foot-diamater sphere of darkness discharges strokes of bluish-white lightning that strike the city at irregular intervals. Perched atop a distant bluff, overlooking the rest of the city is a crumbled fortress. - Baldur's Gate - Descent into Avernus

Wondering the streets carefully he notes many things, the demons and devils in the skies above, seemingly fighting, though at a distance too far to tell for sure, and all but sounds of battle a deafening silence. Realizing he would need to find others for information, or even better yet maybe even find a guide Orphan sends his Sprite companion Lilly into the air using their bond to see through her eyes the surrounding area, and as luck(?) would have it there seemed to be a gathering of people to what he presumed to be the north of the city so carefully began setting off in that direction to meet up with them. Though the streets were far from safe, and where people were lacking demons and devils stood in place, such as a fierce looking devil all in black riding upon a equally blackened horse (A Narzuhon riding upon a Nightmare), thus showing Orphan that this was not a place to tread lightly. Hiding in a nearby building was enough, and he watched as the devil patrolled by, thankfully in the opposite direction to where he was heading, the fear he felt reminding him this this time he was alone in his quest, so caution was key!

It does not take long for Orphan to reach the northern point he spotted the group only to find the group gone. "They hid in that building over there." a voice resides within his mind, spinning around he spots a strange creature reminiscent of a humanoid vulture (a Vrock) perched upon a nearby ledge looking down upon the grounds below with a despondent look in it's eyes. "The humans I mean, I presume you were looking for them?" it continues, "Yes!" he replies "I had seen a group and thought to meet up with them, I am admittedly rather new to this place so would have appreciated more information",  "No offense but..." he begins "You are a Vrock, is that not correct? I do not wish to offend, but I am more used to your kind hunting for hiding humans, rather than helping, or even ignoring such an easy target!", the Vrock pauses for a moment before letting out what could be seen as a laugh "What's the point? I have been in this war for hundreds of years, killed and died and killed and died over and over and over again and honestly... I just dont see the point of it all any more.", a silence filled the air for a few moments, then Orphan replied "Well then why not try something new?" in confusion and intrigue the Vrocks head perked up, "Why not come with me for a bit, see what it is like on the other side of the war, who knows, it might even be fun!", the Vrock stared long and hard at Orphan then looked up at the battles raging above, then back at Orphan "I could ripe out your eyes and feast upon your innards, many a times I have, and yet you would still welcome me?" with a smile Orphan replies "Sure, though I would prefer to keep my eyes" before beginning to laugh. The Vrock smiles back wryly "Then consider me your traveling buddy.".

Heading over to the house that the Vrock pointed out there was obvious noise coming from inside, the noise of several people bickering, and a child crying. The voice of a female could be heard from within, seemingly trying to assuage the group "I know things seem bleak, but we must band together! All we need to do is get over that bridge and we are half way to High Hall!", "But there are devils guarding the bridge!" a much meeker voice returned "Don't worry I have an idea we could use to..." suddenly there is a silence in the group "Who is out there?! I could hear your footsteps.", shocked Orphan looks back at his new companion who shrugs back at him "Uhh... hi, we didn't meant to like spook you or anything, we just didn't know how to introduce ourselves" the silence continues for a moment "How many of you are there? Are you citizens of Elturel?" the female demands, "Uhh... well there are just the two of us" his sprite gestures to him annoyed "Ok technically there are 3 of us, and no we are... I guess from out of town?" more silence, then "What is your purpose here, are you a friend or foe?" the female questioningly continued, "Well we are not enemies or anything like that, just travelers and I saw your group and thought it wise to come find you since I'm new to this city, and as I overheard, sorry, it sounds like you might need some help clearing a bridge, we'd be more than happy to help out!" one final moment of silence then "I alone will come out, put away any weapons you may have and we will speak further" to which Orphan replies "But of course" completely forgetting that his new companion may scare this woman, the door opens slowly, and upon her eyesight catching the Drow she lets out a sigh, "My name is Reya Mantlemorn and I'd..." her eyes widen in shock as she quickly draws her sword upon seeing the demon behind Orphan "Get down, demon!" she yells, Orphan suddenly realising that most people dont just try to make friends with passing demons jumps in the way speaking up "Nonononono wait waaaaaait, he isn't bad, well, mostly not I think, he is taking a break of sorts from this war stuff to see what it is like on the other side of the battle!" Orphan shouts out with haste "Isn't that right?!" he gestures towards the Vrock who shrugs with a smirk, "See! ...I think. Just like... give him a chance." Orphan pleads, Reya looks the demon up and down "I do not trust you, and I do not like you, I would be happy if all of your kind vanished from existence... but I did not realise how desperate things would be in Elturel, and at the moment I need to consider the safety of my people over my personal feelings, and if this... thing truly will help keep my people safe, then I will stay my blade... for now.", "See best of friends!" Orphan jokes, trying to break the sudden silence, "So... your plan?" he continues, "Hmm... yes... the plan is, that we need to cross the bridge to get to the western half of Elturel, the only problem being the bridge is guarded by a group of devils, but we may have an ace up our sleeve." she continues "Unbeknownst to the devils guarding the bridge there are enchanted holy runes carved upon it, and if I can get close enough I should be able to activate them, which they wont like, it wont be enough to kill them, but it will hurt like... well hell, the help I will need is after this they will be angry, and I will need help finishing them off." for a moment Orphans face scrunches before "Ok so you turn on the holy light show, then we take out the stragglers... sounds easy enough!", "And though I will not actively attack my brothers, I am more than happy to see another devil ridden from this plane!" the Vrock cheerily adds, "Then we head to the bridge." Reya responds, before leading both towards their destination.

Peeking out from the ruins of a nearby house we see that in total 6 devils occupy the bridge, two with writhing tentacle beards (Bearded Devils) and 4 covered in many sharp spines with wings (Spined Devils). The plan was for Reya to quietly and quickly activate the runes, then once they attempt to flee the bridge I will be lying in wait ready to launch a Wall of Light to attempt to blind the devils and keep them on the bridge for as long as possible while peppering them with other spells, then the Vrock (being careful not to touch the bridge itself) will fly up and use it's Stunning Screech to attempt to stun the devils and then retreat, and should they escape the bridge Reya would step in to fight them with martial combat while we help to finish them off.

Reya successfully sneaks up to the closest activation rune and begins chanting the holy words, and it is with that flash of light that our battle began. The devils all scream out in pain, but there is but a short reprieve as a sudden Wall of Light spans the length of the bridge, catching all the devils in it's light instantly evaporating the four Spined Devils, and though one of the Bearded Devils managed to look away in time, the other was blinded, next the Vrock swoops in and let's out a deafening cry, stunning the first of the Bearded Devils, while the other managed to shake it off. Though realising the sad situation it found itself in, watching it's last remaining stunned ally burning in holy light the only remaining devil who could still move charged towards Reya, and using all of it's strength it dashed across the bridge, finally it was free of the holy light, but sadly the dash had taken all of it's strength, meaning it was wide open for attack. Reya lunged at the devil, making three quick slashes with her swords with the first two going wide using her longsword, but the third striking it's mark with her shortsword and though it smiles for a moment at her mistakes it all too quickly realises it's folly as it is assaulted from all angles by Eldritch Blasts before being finished off by a portion of the Wall of Light splitting off to strike it from behind, evaporating the creature where it stood. The party them watched as the near dead final devil screamed out in pain, it leapt from the bridge hoping to end things on it's own terms only to also be caught in the back blasted by the same Wall of Light as it's fallen comrade.

And with that, the bridge was clear.

After doubling back to retrieve the townsfolk who were left behind, we slowly crossed over the bridge and made our way south, Orphan was informed that High Hall was the safest place for survivors to gather, and thus that was where Reya was taking the people she had found, all the whole there she still mistrustfully watched over the Vrock, while also trying to watch for any other threats, and despite some flaming spouts of hellfire scaring the life out of the group, and thanks to hiding and resting in abandoned houses along the way the journey to High Hall was majorly uneventful, much to the joy of the townsfolk, and very much to the joy of Reya. Though this peace would not last, as when High Hall came finally into view, from the obvious damage the scene was clear, High Hall was currently suffering from a rather devilish invasion!

This clifftop castle was once the crowning architectural jewel of Elturel. Only three of its five watchtowers still stand, though they appear abandoned. The Wooden gates that once led into the castle grounds have been shattered, leaving a gaping hole in the wall. The west side of the castle has been reduced to a pile of smashed brick and broken wood. The surviving buildings are blackened by soot. At the center of the castle grounds, the High Hall cathedral stands defiant. - Baldur's Gate - Descent into Avernus

As they approached all was eerily quiet, once again the townsfolk were ordered to hang back in hiding, waiting until receiving the all clear, peering through the wrecked entrance way it was clear a battle had took place, there were bodies on the floor, blood still oozing from their fresh bite wounds, and at the other side of the courtyard, the likely contributors of the bites, two hellish dogs (Hell Hounds) seemingly guarding the central cathedral doors, and as there didn't seem to be anyone else around they chose to strike hard and fast!

"Ok so hear me out, I have an idea." Orphan relays in a hushed tone, "They dont know we are here yet, so I have a spell perfect for this situation!" with which he once again pokes his head out and pointing towards the direction of the hounds begins to utter foul eldritch words, and from the Abyss pop a pack of eight Dretches (which Orphan notes are strangely more canine and bestial than he is used to), which lunge at the surprised Hell Hounds!

Quickly swarming the hounds the Dretches begin clawing and biting at them, which while annoying does very little in terms of damage to them, they both return by trying to blast as many as possible with their Fire Breath, managing to hit two each burning all four, and even yet burnt as they are they continue their assault! The second assault shows much more ware from the hounds, but they are not about to give up, the first launches another Fire Breath once again leaving them nigh on deaths door, but they still cling to life, while the other hound unable to breath fire again so soon lunges at one of the Manes with a bite, killing off one of it's previously torched foes! Sadly though for the Hell Hounds the Manes are not even close to ready to give up and once again strike relentlessly leaving both hounds barely able to stand as they take what is likely to be their final action, with all their might they both unleash one final roaring flame, finally killing off several of the Dretches, but it is simply not enough, as the remaining few claw, bite and tear the Hell Hounds limb from limb.

"Oh great, now instead of 2 Hell Hounds to combat we have four demons!" Reya hisses as Orphan, to which he snaps his fingers and the remaining four vanish back to their realm and retorts with a smile "What demons?", at which Reya scowls.

Inside the cathedral it is a scene of chaos, blood and bodies everywhere, the group head deeper inside eventually spotting a strange white bipedal dragon like creature (A White Abishai) laughing over two human corpses with a group of six humanoids in robes (Cultists) who are currently stabbing at the now obviously dead bodies.

"Does this please you master? Will our great overlords look kindly upon us for our blessed work" a mad cultist gibbers, bloody dagger in hand looking up at the Abishai who simply looks down at him, "Yes you are quite right, there is much to be done, many to kill!" the cultist quickly states, almost as if in reply to something, standing up and commanding the other cultists to continue on their way.

"What is that?" Orphan asks pointing at the Abishai "They are part devil and part dragon, some say they serve Tiamat, and some claim them her jailers." the Vrock chimes in "Part dragon huh?" Ophan says under his breath, then "Watch this!".

The Abishai stares into space for a moment, then snaps back, almost as if it was somewhere else for a moment "Dominate Monster, a very useful spell, only recently learned it too!" Orphan relays to the group. "You will go to your followers and tell them your master contacted you and told you the others are traitors, all aiming to kill her followers as soon as their backs are turned, and you have been ordered to take them out instead, have your cultists kill as many of your men as possible, and then kill them yourself, and this killing is to take top priority over all else, as you must not hurt any of the people residing within High Hall, and if your cultists question this, tell them their master has found a use for them, I will contact you if there is anything else." Orphan states with a very serious face to which the Abishai begins to follow in the direction the cultists went, "As I said, very useful.".

Going in the opposite direction to the Abishai to try to cover as much ground as possible, the group finds themselves running into a Spined Devil who seems to be yelling at a group of 3 humans "Ok there is only one, we strike it again hard and fast and it wont know what hit it!" Orphan quickly says, the party leaping into action!

With a flash Orphan unleashes a Lightning Bolt from his staff and before it even gets a moment to realise what is happening it explodes in a storm of Lightning and ichor, upon seeing which the 3 humans collapse to the floor crying and screaming. Reya does attempt to calm them down, but their minds seem to be broken, and decides that we should continue on and send help back for them once the hall was safe.

Some time later the group heard yelling "Traitors", "Praise the one God!" and so on, and decided to investigate, finding the previous group of cultists with the Abishai (all looking rather tattered and burned, and with several cultists missing) fighting against a Barbed Devil in a room FILLED with Giant Crabs!

"This is our chance to take out a huge group of them" Reya commanded and quickly began running at the devil swords drawn, "Or you know... we could have waited and made and plan while they killed each other? But oh well..." Orphan said to himself with a sigh preparing to launch his attack.

Quickly launching a Fireball into the fighting crowd in all but vaporizes everything but the White Abishai and the Barbed Devil, both of who are immune to fire, the Cultists and Giant Crabs were not quite so lucky, following up Reya lunges at the Barbed Devil with a flurry of blades, all landing their mark and taking the devil by surprise as she emerges through the smoke to slash at him! Shocked and unable to see anyone else for the smoke the Barbed Devil quickly returns the attack with a flurry of its own directed straight at Reya it's tail bouncing off her armour, but it's claws finding their mark slashing at her arm causing her to wince back. Next up the White Abishai dashes at the Barbed Devil and Recklessly slashes at it with sword and claws, the clawing being easily batted aside, but the sword easily finding it's mark, though it more annoyed the devil than hurt it but before it even had a moment to think, out of the shadows launched a Vrock to which he exclaimed "A demon? Here?" before being on the receiving end of a sharp beak, and its even sharper talons, the talons driving deep into its shoulder with a pained yelp in response. The smoke beginning to clear Orphan could see that the group had advanced on the Barbed Devil, but that it still looked like it had plenty of fight left in it, so he knew he had to strike it hard running to the other side of the room to be sure to get a good angle he once again launched a Lightning Bolt from his trusty staff and well and truly shocking the life out of it, but it refused to go down, it was hurt, but it was not dead yet! Seeing that the spellcaster was clearly a threat he launched two motes of fire straight at Orphan, he dodged nimbly out of the way of the first, but in doing so directly placing him in the path of the second in a fiery explosion, and though it clearly had hurt, the fact that he simply shook off the pain worried this devil to his core. In the next moment he realised his surroundings, realised he was outnumbered and tried to run catching a claw and a talon on the way, limping towards the exit to the room he met his end with a simple Eldritch Blast.

The next half hour or so was spent scouring the remainder of the High Hall for any further intruders and grouping together all survivors, during this time Reya also retrieved the townsfolk who had been ordered to remain in hiding until it was safe.

As the hour of Orphans Dominate Monster would soon be up, he commanded it to tell him it's true name (Victuusa) before ordering it to fly as far away and as fast as it could from High Hall, deeming it more useful to him alive than dead.

Much time from then passed as order of a sort began to return to High Hall, and while Oprhan rested off his minor wounds he tranced, and was contacted by his Patron god "This is the final gift I can bestow upon you, may it aid your greatly, and may you succeed in your quest" a gentle smile graced his face and for the first time in a while, he allowed himself to sleep. After some time had passed Reya requested that Orphan come meet with someone important, and though he made everyone very uncomfortable, for his aid in the freeing of High Hall the Vrock was allowed to stay while Orphan did, though the lack of trust in him was very obvious.

[savvyliterate]

"Luke and Lorelai doesn't have a healthy relationship. I don't get why people like them so much," a recent post from starshollowconfessions says. Agree or disagree?

I think it depends on if you’re talking about original series or AYITL. And this is going to get fairly long, but in short … in the original series, their relationship wasn’t very healthy the further you got into season 6, with a lot of the damage being done in season 5. But in A Year in the Life, their overall relationship is a lot stronger.

And because I am clearly Hermione (or Rory), here’s a really long essay about the differences between their OS relationship and their communication issues in AYITL.

In the original series, there was definitely a good amount of unhealthy stuff between Luke and Lorelai starting with Lorelai lying about Chris, which eventually allowed Emily to manipulate the situation into where Luke breaks it off with Lorelai. There was a lot that went wrong there, and I feel like at the time, the series forgot the number that Nicole did on Luke in season 4 - which probably fed into his nuclear reaction to what happened at the Gilmore vow renewal. Had Lorelai not lied about Chris, I think they could have weathered Emily’s machinations. But instead, Luke probably saw it as Nicole all over again but WORSE considering that Lorelai was the one helping him handle Nicole cheating on him.

Remember that all the stuff with Nicole barely happened a year earlier. Nicole cheated on Luke in the late winter-early spring of 2004 and Lorelai begins lying to Luke about Chris in November, so roughly half a year later. Where the series failed here is that no one recognized that Luke did have a leg to stand on and his own fears. And while Lorelai realizes she majorly screwed up, we don’t see anyone acknowledging that Nicole’s actions may have had an effect on Luke’s reactions to Lorelai lying to him. He also rushed from Nicole to Lorelai so fast, that I don’t even think Luke fully dealt with the ramifications of the Nicole fiasco as of when he started his relationship with Lorelai. And there is no indication that Luke and Lorelai dealt with the Chris issue after they got back together, so that leads to *lovely* moments like Luke being a dick to Lorelai when Chris calls in season 6. Then you have the entire season six fiasco about April, and that really needs no explanation at this point.

The biggest failing that Luke and Lorelai have as a couple isn’t so much their communication issues but rather their inability to rock the boat, and it stems back to their fallout in season 2. Since then, you can tell that Lorelai goes out of her way to avoid getting the two of them into that sort of situation again. The whole Chris thing happens because of Lorelai not wanting to hurt Luke once she was caught up in her lies, and he got hurt anyhow. Lorelai thought that if she avoided it, it would go away, and it didn’t. The whole April thing happened because Luke failed to go to Lorelai right away because he didn’t want to explode things again so soon after Rory got back, and then it just got worse. And then Lorelai once again refused to push Luke, thinking maybe it would eventually go away rather than confronting him and risk losing the relationship. Once you start clamming up, it is super easy just to keep going down that path rather than face the consequences. Because they were both so scared of pushing each other to the point where they would had lost each other, they wound up losing each other. 

In pretty much every other aspect of their lives, they are compatible. They enjoy each other’s company. They largely have the same values. Luke respects and supports Lorelai’s work and her daughter, both which are huge for her. Emotionally they balance each other out. They are sexually compatible, and that compatibility is still there in middle age for them both. The first scene in “Winter” is a really good snapshot of their relationship at this point in time - the relentless bantering from both of them, Lorelai taunting Luke with the music on her phone, etc. Had Rory not been sitting there stuffing illegal doughnuts, those two would be doing the exact same thing with Paul Anka as witness. The house is a really good mix of both of them now, not just Lorelai and Rory.

So here’s the thing. That struggle that Luke and Lorelai had back in seasons 5 and 6 about really confiding in each other about what’s going on? That’s still there in the revival. Because no matter how good your relationship is, there is still a weakness somewhere. And I get frustrated when people bash the Ls for not having magically solved their communication issues, because this is something they will be working on for the rest of their lives. It’s not just Luke and Lorelai with each other. It’s Lorelai and Emily and Lorelai and Rory as well. In the revival, the Ls are handling things SO MUCH BETTER than they did in the original series, and that’s because they actually fight about it.

The biggest things Luke and Lorelai keep from each other in the revival stem around the inheritance Richard left Luke and Lorelai’s therapy with Emily. These issues are nowhere near as big as the ones they faced in the original series involving lying about an ex-boyfriend and not telling your fiancée you have a kid. And there are far more solid reasons for them keeping these things from each other than in the original series.

With Lorelai’s therapy, there is still such a negative stigma around mental illness that it really is super hard to admit to your loved ones that you’re doing therapy - or that in Lorelai’s case, she had stopped going with Emily and was going by herself. I almost didn’t tell my husband when I went into therapy a few years back, and we have an extremely happy marriage. It took me nearly a year (and a lot of crying) to admit to my mom that I had gone through therapy. It is really, really hard, especially for someone like Lorelai, and I don’t think she should be harangued by people for not telling Luke that she went into solo therapy.

Onto the inheritance. On the flip side, you have Luke being the person to deal with the fallout of Lorelai and Emily’s epic blowout post-Richard’s funeral. He wasn’t physically there since he was driving Rory to the airport, but he would had been the one to scrape up the pieces. He literally was the only person Lorelai could turn to. As of “Winter,” Emily hasn’t spoken to Lorelai in four months and Lorelai didn’t tell Rory either. Plus, Rory didn’t go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas after Richard died. So he’s at ground zero of a huge emotional hurricane, and that probably put a huge strain on them as well. A major death in the family always does.

Now Luke’s having to deal with this whole franchise mess, and it’s clear he’s only going along with it to a point. He knows if he doesn’t at least attempt to play along with Emily that it will make things worse between Emily and Lorelai, and he doesn’t want Lorelai going back to the dark place she was most likely in during the fall of 2015.

So now you get to their argument in “Summer.” Yes, each of them are hurt when the other actually confesses, but they actually fight about it. There are no ultimatums issued like in “Partings.” Luke doesn’t storm away and avoid Lorelai like in “Wedding Bell Blues.” Luke finds the idea of Lorelai cheating on him preposterous, which is huge given “Partings.” That meant at some point, he and Lorelai dealt with the Christopher issue, since season 5 or 6 Luke wouldn’t have hesitated to throw that in Lorelai’s face (because I love you, Luke, but you can be a dick.) That is communication, and that is progress. Luke expresses his hurt, and Lorelai expresses hers. That’s normal when you find your partner has kept silent - even if it’s for non-malicious reasons. That’s human. The fight ends at a natural stopping point because they did need to go back to work and they were unintentionally causing a scene in the diner.

Lorelai carries a lot of guilt about Luke because everyone is right - she has largely steered the ship of their relationship since 2007. It doesn’t mean that he just blindly went along. We know Luke will speak very loudly and forcefully when he wants his opinion known. Had he truly wanted more kids, he would had made this known. He expresses twice during the revival that he is happy the way things are and that he is satisfied with his life, and I think he truly is. But it doesn’t mean Lorelai still doesn’t have that guilt, and heaped that onto the therapy and what a mess.

Their decision to keep their lives separate probably stemmed from them getting back together and making a loose agreement not to drag each other into their respective family dramas based on the “crazy family” line. If it’s an issue with Rory and the Gilmores, Lorelai would handle it. If it’s an issue with April, Luke would handle it. And that’s not entirely an unusual thing. I barely interact with my step siblings on both sides of the family. All major decisions about me and my brothers were handled by my parents with very little input from the stepparents. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my stepdad or didn’t love my stepmom. It didn’t mean that my parents weren’t in good relationships with their partners. They were. My dad and stepmom were really happy for 20 years until my stepmom died. My mom and stepdad kept their finances largely separate until they married - 11 years after they moved in together.

But it’s obvious in the series that Luke and Lorelai are more entangled with each other’s families and their lives than they claim during their argument in “Summer.” Lorelai knew all about the financial stuff with April, which means Luke clearly told her. And he’s comfortable enough around Emily that he tried to hug her in “Winter” and that Richard added Luke to the actuary table and that Emily sided with Luke on pretty much everything brought up in the revival. And clearly they redecorated the house together, so their money co-mingled at some point. But man, considering how Anna dislikes Lorelai, I can see her pitching the hugest fit if she tried to make any sort of financial decision about April’s education or threw in her own money. They probably kept that separate just to keep peace. And that’s what you do, because families are MESSY.

I have a lot of sympathy for Lorelai in so many things, and that includes how she treats Luke regarding their lives. I’m the one who has taken the lead in my marriage a lot, and every so often, I am wracked with guilt. Did I ruin my husband’s life? Is he only going along with things just to keep me happy? Does he really want kids after all and will he regret that I chose to stop trying to have them? None of it is done maliciously, but I tend to lead and he’s content to follow. Every so often, our own insecurities and issues will cause us to fight. We have a really happy marriage about 85-90% of the time. When we do fight, those dark places do open up and we have to confront the weaknesses in our otherwise very strong relationship. Sometimes, those issues are tucked away to be dealt with another day. And sometimes, those issues are dealt with.  

And I see that in Luke and Lorelai. I think their relationship is perfectly fine about 80-90% of the time in the post-2007 era, but like any couple, they will have to deal with those weaknesses when it comes up. And Lorelai had to deal with this guilt she carries with her, which is why after the fight with Luke, she makes the decision to go on the Wild trip. Lorelai has been standing still for so long, afraid to push for change because she doesn’t want to lose the thing that is most important to her in her post-raising Rory life - which turns out to be Luke. So she’s had people heaping this stuff on her for the bulk of a year, and she’s cracking. And those cracks bleed through with the people she’s closest to - Luke, Rory, and even Emily.

Even Luke points out that the situation between them is abnormal. As he tells Jess, “Ah, we’ve been arguing, like sniping. And, we never sniped, you know. We never picked at each other in public and put each other down and made other people look at us like, ‘Oops, what’s going on?’” Which is exactly what happened in the diner at the end of “Summer.” Which means that the vast majority of the time, things are perfectly fine between them and that communication does exist. We don’t see it because AYTIL is handling a specific period in time and even then, it’s showing bits and pieces of that year. 

Despite everything, Lorelai doesn’t completely shut out Luke like she did in “Partings.” She tells him right away she plans to go. “Fall” opens with Lorelai calling Luke from her hotel and leaving that frankly adorable message about how she is 12 hours into this trip, aka 12 hours away from him, and she’s already going bonkers. And he’s going nuts without her. He’s not sleeping. He gave out the wi-fi password by accident. The three-week trip would be the longest they’ve been apart since they got back together in 2007, and I highly doubt they were separated for more than a couple of days prior to the Wild trip.

The Wild trip was never about Lorelai figuring out if she was going to end the relationship. It’s Lorelai finding herself so she can deal with all the emotional crap thrown at her in the past year. She goes when she does because she realizes that she’s fighting with her daughter and that if things keep going the way they are, she could very well permanently damage her relationship with Luke. In the end, her biggest fear is that he’ll leave her again. And his, as he vocalizes to Jess and later to Lorelai (and hallelujah for finally bringing up the number that Nicole did on him), is that she’ll leave him.

Luke acknowledging their communication issues is something that wouldn’t had happened in seasons 5 or 6. That entire conversation with Jess in the diner wouldn’t had taken place, which shows considerable growth for Luke. Luke and Lorelai at this point are both recognizing they’re heading down that slippery slope of communication failure again, and this time they are trying to stop it. Seasons 5 and 6 are pretty much them at the bottom of the Grand Canyon in a fiery explosion, and AYITL is them close to the top of the canyon realizing that if things continue the way they were going, they are going to crash and burn again. 

Lorelai going on the Wild trip reminds me so much of why I went to therapy - because I could see this strain starting to develop on my relationship because of my internal issues, and I love my husband and value our relationship so much that I wanted to fix it. For Lorelai, the Wild trip IS the final step of her therapy. She loves Luke and Rory so much that she wants to fix herself so she can fix things with them. I love you immensely, Lorelai.

And Luke makes it clear when Lorelai comes home that he will do whatever it takes not to lose her. He will go to therapy. He’ll franchise the diner. He’ll give her back half the closet that she’s already taking over anyhow. This isn’t something he would had done before “Partings.” He isn’t going to run like he did in “Wedding Bell Blues.” I love you too, Luke.

So, roughly 2,700 words and two hours later … Communication is always going to be an issue between Luke and Lorelai, but I think they will address it (and have done so already off-screen) and it won’t be the ticking time bomb it was in the original series. And they went from having an unhealthy relationship to a far healthier one.

[niamhuncensored]

While I’m in the mood to bitch about comics, let’s talk about Batman Damned

If you haven’t heard of it or read it, Here is the link to read it in its entirety (disregard issue 4, for some reason the site thinks it’s still ongoing). It’s a black label production, so use your discretion.

Once you’ve read it, Here’s a list of reasons why it might’ve been a flop. if you still haven’t read it, spoilers ahead.

Nothing is real

Here’s a panel from the first issue.

They literally tell us from the start that not only is Bruce questioning his sanity, but that the voice-over/narrator is also possibly lying to us.

Unreliable narrators can be fun, but seems like this is a cheap tactic for the writers to do whatever they want. The readers are left without anything to hold onto. Nothing is properly real, which leads to a confusing story.

Case in point: the character (Enchantress?) who was haunting Bruce. Was she really haunting him in his childhood? And why? Or is Bruce hallucinating her as part of his guilty conscience? What does she want with him? And why does no word out of her mouth make sense?

Lesson to writers who use unreliable narrators: if your audience has no way of knowing what’s real and what’s not, you’ve failed at writing an unreliable narrator.

missing stories and transitions

We don’t even know for sure what the fuck happened to Joker. It’s kind of stated at the end that Bruce let Joker fall into the river, but when we see the fall scene in the first issue, it’s as if batman is falling, and it’s implied to be a flashback. So what happened and why were they fighting in the first place.

Then, at the end of the first issue, we get to this page, where batman is chasing a possible witness.

That’s immediately followed with this scene, where he seems to be entering batcave and begins stripping down (we’ll get to that in a bit.)

sidenote: how can a heart rate be two numbers? It’s one number. They could’ve just said blood pressure. but I digress.

Isn’t he still chasing that guy? It wasn’t like he burst through the wood to a blank wall, so the guy could still be in there and your plan, Bruce, is to - ahem - intimidate him?

Then, after talking to Zatanna (more on her, later) we get to this panel.

This is supposed to imply that Joker is still alive, but then the plot completely forgets that 3 people were kidnapped. We don’t even see them when Harley rolls around.

At the end of the second issue, Harley attempts to r*pe batman (which I will not be showing) but he turns it on her and we get this panel where he’s choking her out on the batsignal

But then the next issue starts and we get...this...

What the fuck?! This isn’t a hallucination or anything, this is supposed to be real, and it feels like we started a whole other comic. John is no help, either. He only cheekily implies that they had sex (not what happened) and moves on to annoying the shit out of swamp thing.

There’s just no transition from a rooftop with Harley Quinn to a pine box. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Not to mention, Deadman says that there’s a plot against Batman. What plot? We don’t know.

Swamp Thing says that “both sides lay claim.” On what? Bruce’s soul? Is that even on the table, since he’s alive? It’s still unclear. The narrative is quick to open up these loops and quicker to forget to close them.

Pointless Nudity

Remember the “bata-wang” jokes after the first issue dropped? if not, here’s the background: Batman walks into his cave (somehow) and requests a full body scan. The scan completes while he’s still mostly clothed, so he strips down to his birthday suit for basically no reason.

He also sits totally naked in his own house, wherein only one chair is uncovered(Where the fuck is Alfred? or the rest of the batfam? wtf?!). Of course, we also get Zatanna’s cleavage and ass, because, as we all know, women are always wearing fishnets and thongs at all times, right? As well as most of Harley’s torso.

If you’re going to have nudity, it has to have a reason. never go full frontal without a reason.

The Devil went down to Gotham

Remember the guy that Batman was chasing? When we first see him, we think he’s just some hobo who saw something.

Turns out, by the end, he’s some kind of judgemental deity, who may have been talking about himself when he said “The devil’s in gotham city.”

This came out of fucking nowhere and we’re just supposed to take this? The guy looks like Kessler in inFamous and we’re supposed to understand that he’s the Devil? or is he supposed to be God? God’s been a puppy in Constantine’s new 52 run so it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary.

Also, in the second issue, he was speaking in green text. Was that supposed to mean something? What was different about him then that isn’t in the first or third installment?

Whatever the answer is, we’re not finding out quickly.

Happily Married is an Oxymoron

In the comic, it’s pretty clearly stated that Thomas was actually cheating on Martha, and implied that they were getting a divorce. It seems like Enchantress was intending to distract Bruce from seeing the full scope of things, but it’s unclear.

Honestly, I was okay with this perspective on their relationship, but i think it was so out of the ordinary that it just further distances readers from the story.

A Dark Showcase (And I don’t mean Batman’s Dick)

If you’ve played the Arkham Games, you might’ve felt like the main goal of the games was at least partially to show off the rogues gallery, rather than to tell a story (which they did anyway but i digress). Batman Damned feels an awful lot like that.

in all honesty, that was kind of what kept me reading. I turned off the part of my brain that was going “What’s going on” and resorted to the part that was just going “look, it’s Constantine! Look, it’s batman! Look, it’s Zatanna!”

On a the third issue, however, the reasoning side of my brain took over and I couldn’t ignore the flaws. using characters as easter eggs with no real story can only get you so far.

In addition, some of the appearances make little sense. Take Zatanna, for instance.

In the first issue, she was a street performer who looked like a prostitute who put on makeup for a stage play. when she reappeared in the third issue, she was a professional - performer? Medium? it’s not quite clear - with a more revealing but better put together outfit.

I refused to believe that those two appearances were of the same person. why would Zatanna be doing street magic for tips, while she has a steady gig at a tavern? It makes no sense.

Deadman shows up, and vanishes. Shows up, and vanishes. Shows up, and vanishes again, doing exactly squat, each time. Same with Swamp Thing. He saves Batman from being buried alive, and saves Constantine from a killer statue, and does fuck-all else. Enchantress is basically there to be creepy and that’s about it. Etrigan is basically there to pull Batman out of the fire and not much else. And Constantine is basically there for deus ex machina and comic relief, and carries little weight for the story.

Even in the Arkham Games, the villains served a purpose. The fact that the characters are just there as easter eggs makes the showcase worse, i think.

How to fix it.

First off, make things clearer. Questioning a character’s sanity can be fun, but it’s only fun if it’s clear what’s real and what isn’t upon reread, or even first read. the goal is dramatic irony, not confusion.

Second, keep track of the doors you open and make sure close them. Transitions should make sense and drastic plot details should be addressed. It’s okay to leave an audience with some questions, but this many of this scale is evidence of a failed story.

Thirdly, thoroughly justify the nudity or cut it out completely. I know this is black label, and that that gives you more wiggle room for mature stuff, but just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

Lastly, CUT THE DEAD FUCKING WEIGHT. With the above fixes and minimal rewriting, this could have literally just had Batman and Zatanna in it. Honestly, that would have been a much better story.

If you keep Constantine, here’s a gentle reminder that CONSTANTINE IS ALSO CAPABLE OF MAGIC! If he had been doing all or most of the magic that Zatanna had done, and had done it from the beginning, this could have been one issue long. And then you’d have space for the other characters to be effective in their own rights.

[bittlespie]

Patater Week Day 4

The prompt is: Alternate Universe. 

So here’s a little bit of a Patater Hogwarts AU that I may or may not continue in the future.  (P.S. this is if Kent and Alexei were the same age and headed toward graduation at Hogwarts.  Think like freshman year of college age :) )

“Erm...okay…”  Kent shook mashed potatoes off of his cloak.  His formerly green tie was now crusted with something orange, and there was what he thinks might be marmelade stuck in his hair.

Next to him a giant of a man (like seriously, he might have been half giant, he felt huge) grunted, flinging egg salad off of his fingers as best he could.

“So, this is gonna sound weird, but thanks for helping me stop the food fight...if you want I can let you into the prefect’s bathroom since the dormitory baths will be full of students trying to get stuff off their robes…”  Kent offered.  He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t seen Alexei Mashkov around the castle.  He was hard to miss, plus he was an excellent beater for Hufflepuff’s quidditch team, and as captain of the Slytherin team he was charged with researching the other teams...or that’s what he told Troy when he found Kent snooping around the Hufflepuff common room anyway.

“Yes, that will be good.”  Alexei nodded, his accent thick.

“Okay, um, you can follow me then, I’ll show you to the nearest one.”  Kent stiffly lead the way from the great hall.  

The walk to the third floor was mostly silent, albeit there was the sound of something on Kent’s shoes squishing against the floor as he walked.  They reached the door and Kent leaned in the whisper the password.

“Quiet scorpion.”  He whispered, then watched as the wall slid aside to allow them to enter the bathroom.

Fuck.  Kent stared at the large bathtub that was customary of the prefects bathrooms.  He had not thought this out.  He was about to literally take a bath with his crush.  While naked.  Fuck.  

Mashkov immediately took his cloak off, not even bothering to fold it, since it would obviously need washed before he could wear it again anyway.  

“Um, I will see you in a bit then, I’ve got some things to attend to first…”  Kent took a couple steps back.

Alexei’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Do not be silly.  You not attend to much with syrup on face.”  He stepped forward and wiped at a sticky spot on Kent’s face.  “You get clean then attend to things.  Make more sense.”

“Uh, yeah...you’re right…”  Kent trailed off, cheeks pink.  He untied his cloak and looked down at his shoes as he untied them, trying not to look up at where Alexei was taking off the rest of his clothes.  It was so weird.  Normally people knew that Kent was a pretty flirty guy, with guys and girls alike, but it felt different with Alexei...like it was more important to impress him than other students he had dated.  

Kent finished taking off his socks and shoes and stood up, getting an eyeful of Alexei’s sculpted rear as he stepped into the bath.  

Kent’s face immediately went hot and he looked down again, focusing on the buttons of his shirt.  He fumbled clumsily with the last one and pulled the shirt off.

“You take long time to be ready for bath.”  Alexei hummed, tipping his head back into the soapy warm water.

Kent didn’t reply, just took a deep breath and removed his pants and underwear before stepping into the water.  He was glad Alexei still had his eyes closed with his head tipped back into the water.  Kent knew he was fit, even if he wasn’t very bulky, but there was still something about the guy you had a huge crush on seeing his dick that wasn’t super appealing.

Kent used his wand to send his clothes to the laundry bin before setting it down on the edge of the tub.  

“You are seventh year yes?  What your plan after Hogwarts?”  Alexei asked curiously.  “Play quidditch?”

“Uh, I’m looking into it, and if I can get on a team it’ll be great!  If not, I’ll likely be crunching numbers or data at the Ministry.”  Kent explained.  “I’ve gotten really good at arithmancy, and I kind of like it.  It just makes sense to me.”

Alexei wrinkled his nose, causing Kent to laugh.

“I’m not like numbers.  I’m want play for the Falmouth Falcons.  I’m talking with manager, and I’m going to tryouts for next season.”  Alexei puffed out his chest.

“That’s awesome!  I hope you get a spot!”  Kent smiled.  He didn’t mention that he already had tryouts scheduled with the Bangers and the Bats.  No need to make it a competition.  

A silence followed that wasn’t completely uncomfortable.  Still Kent decided to ruin it for some reason.

“So are you like half giant?”  Kent blurted out.  He turned bright red.  “I mean, I guess you don’t really have to tell me or anything, sorry I don’t really know why I blurted that out, you’re just really tall, and like solidly built…”  Kent just barely stopped himself from putting his face in his hands, instead looking away toward the stained glass window.

Alexei burst out laughing, a booming sound that filled the echoey bathroom.

“I’m not half giant.  You are just being little twig.”  He chuckled.  “No, I am just joking.  My great great babushka was a giant.  I am only having little bit of giant in me.”  He explained.  

“I’m a muggle-born.”  Kent blurted out.  Wow he really wasn’t helping himself.  

“Is true?  I’m not think, you are being very natural at magic.  Best in charms class.  I am not being very good student.  I am only very good at magical creatures and quidditch.”  Alexei laughed again.

“That’s not true, you’re definitely fair in potions and defence against the dark arts.  You were really good in divination and muggle studies too!”  Kent protested.  

“I’m not take muggle studies with slytherins.  I’m only have with Ravenclaws.”  Alexei raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah...my friend mentioned in passing that you were good at it.”  Kent blushed a little, sinking further down in the slowly disappearing bubbles.

“Come here.”  Alexei moved forward a little and motioned for Kent to come closer to him.

Kent’s heart pounded as he obediently scooted closer to Alexei.  

Alexei put his large hands on Kent’s waist and turned him so his back was to Alexei.  He scooped up some water with his hand and poured it on Kent’s head, tipping his head back so it didn’t run into Kent’s eyes.  

“You are still having sticky orange hair.”  Alexei explained, grabbing some of the shampoo and rubbing it into Kent’s hair.  

Kent sat with his legs crossed, patiently waiting for Alexei to finish.

Alexei finished combing through the sticky blonde hair and rinsed it off with a couple handfuls of water.  He kept one hand on Kent’s shoulder and the other toyed with a lock of curly hair.

Kent took a deep breath.

“I’ve had a crush on you since like first year.”  He admitted.  What was the worst that could happen?  He likely wouldn’t see Alexei after the spring anyway.

“Hmm I’m know.”  Alexei hummed, letting the hand in Kent’s hair trail down to Kent’s spine.  “I’m only figure out recently.  Last five minutes.”

Kent chuckled breathlessly as Alexei’s finger traced down Kent’s spine, stopping where the water began.  

“You are Kent Parson.  Always smart and know what to say.  Right now you are nervous.  So must be because I’m here, yes?”  

“Yeah.”  Kent nodded.  

“Well is okay.  No need being nervous.”  Alexei leaned in to Kent’s ear.  “I’m having crush on you since third year.”

Kent’s heart was pounding even harder now as Alexei’s hand reached around to Kent’s front and smoothed over a nipple, down toward the water.  Kent’s breath hitched when Alexei pulled his hand away.

“You’re having things to take care of, remember?”  Alexei chuckled, his voice low.

“I-I was just trying to not take a bath with you!”  Kent protested.  “I’m literally naked in a huge bathtub with you and you’re trying to get rid of me?”  

“Have talk to headmaster.  Little second years in trouble for starting food fight.”  Alexei chuckled, moving away from Kent and standing up.

Kent whined, eyes following Alexei’s toned body.  

��Come on kotenok.  You are having Prefect responsibilities.”  Alexei teased.  

“Uuugh.”  Kent groaned but pulled himself out of the water.  “You’re the worst.  If you think we’re not coming back in here sometime soon, you are very wrong.”  Kent sighed as he pulled on one of the robes hanging on a nearby hook.

“Mmm sound good.”  Alexei flashed Kent a smile.  “Will talk to you after you talk with headmaster.  You come to Hufflepuff common room and we talk, yes?”  Alexei punctuated the request with a peck to Kent’s cheek.

“Uh yeah.  I can do that.”  Kent flushed.  

“Good.  Will see you soon little kotenok.”  Alexei grabbed Kent’s shoulders and kissed him gently.  “I’m be waiting.”  He waved backing away from Kent and out the door.

“Goddamn…”  Kent whispered, fully aware of the absolutely dumb smile on his face.

[thehungryhybrid]

I had a nightmare last night into this morning. And I feel I want to write it down somewhere cuz it was just strange.

Some context. I went to bed at around 11 pm yesterday. It was, and still is, very windy outside due to a storm coming in from the west. I hear it especially well because right outside my window on the ground (I’m on the second floor) is one of those campers (is that the word?) and we’ve covered it in this makeshift tent to protect it from the weather. This cover was somewhat loose and was flapping really loudly.

I also always go to sleep listening to music. Not that that has anything to with this.

I don’t really remember how the dream began. I just know I was in a school building together with my mom. Her workplace to be precise.

That’s another thing. Whenever I have nightmares I’m almost always in a familiar setting or with people I know. But instead of the school being in nice suburban area, surrounded by houses and villas, we were on the edge of a swamp. Kinda like how I imagine Florida. Not that I’ve ever been there.

Anyways. We were in the school. At night. Why we were there at all I have no idea. At first there were nothing to creepy about the place. We were just aimlessly walking around. The rooms got progressively darker and unkept. Was my mom really working here? I remember seeing the tapestry coming undone. Grey and dirty. The shelves looked more and more rotten and some had already collapsed on itself.

We didn’t actually think too much of it.

We then arrived into a room that just felt... wrong.

I could phyiscally feel, or as physically feel I could in a dream, pressure. The air was bad. So bad it was hard to breathe. It was hot and stuffed. But not only that I felt as if we shouldn’t really be there. I don’t really want to say I felt ‘evil’ but something sinister at the very least.

In the middle of the room was a circle made of animal bones. I think there may have been blood as well. It was not in the shape of a pentagram though.

The bones were probably from different animals and lying next to each other, vertically, forming a crude circle around the skull of what might be a goat.

“People have probably tried to summon a demon or something”, I remember telling my mom. It definitely felt like they had.

On the floor a bit to the side was a laptop. We picked it up. It had a lot of cables connected to it. For some reason we didn’t think of actually removing them.

We were now outside on the school, next to a playground, when we opened the laptop. Like dream does it moves you and you don’t question it. It was day. Or maybe dusk? On the laptop there was a video open. And we played it.

The video seemed to just be a scene from some kind of school drama. Two girls, around 12 years of age maybe, were talking to each other at the same place we stood.

What they were talking about I don’t remember, I do remember that the feeling I got was that they weren’t exactly friends and one of the girls were saying mean stuff or something to make the other feel bad. The school and the school grounds looked normal in the video and nothing seemed out of the ordinary at first. The two girls ended their conversation and walked towards an entrance to the school building located on the other end.

Behind them a huge crocodile began to follow them. I didn’t think too much of it when I saw the video. Maybe because the kids and adults weren’t that concerned that a huge, several meter long crocodile was actively hunting the two girls. The girls of course shouted for help, but they did not seem as scared as you’d think they’d be.

The crocodile itself had quite long legs. Long enough to not have to drag it’s belly on the ground. It walked quickly swaying a little as it did.

As the crocodile disappeared from view a man stood in front of the camera holding a chainsaw. I thought he was the groundskeeper. This man did not reappear in my dream.

We stopped watching the video and we realized, without any evidence or signs that this crocodile was real. Was here. We didn’t see it but we just knew. We went inside the house again.

It was around here that I woke up. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and I think it was 4:40 am. I was thirsty. There were 2 water bottles on the nightstand. One about half full. For some reason I decided not to drink anything even though I was almost parched.

What really unsettles me, now in hindsight, is that my half-full water bottle wasn’t standing by the wall but rather in front of my (digital) clock. And my phone was leaning against it. Standing.

I never leave my phone like that. It’s always laying down, and as far from the edges of the nightstand it can get.

I don’t remember putting it up like that. I guess it’s possible I did something while I was asleep. That would be a first if that’s the case. My knee-jerk reaction is that something put it like that. Like a warning or an announcement.

While the thought is scary now, I actually didn’t fully comprehend it to be so at that time. I just put the phone down from the unsafe position and pushed the bottle to the wall. And I went back to sleep.

The school was very much different now. It was dark inside the house. Impossibly dark for it to be somewhat light outside. We were in the room with the animal bones. Fear was slowly rising within me.

The door further into the house was closed. Suddenly locked. We had quickly entered the room from the outside (there was a door leading to the school yard in it) because something was coming. And it wasn’t just the crocodile.

Ever seen a picture of a lizard running on its hind legs? Their head upwards, the arms flailing. Looking quite goofy. Now imagine that but their body is swaying. Swaying to the sides, but the swaying wasn’t just the body moving back and forths but also the torso and belly jolting from side to side like a super agressive belly dancing.

These lizards were dangerous. And they were coming en masse from the swamp. The crocodile seemed like an ever present looming danger behind them.

We were inside the room. As dark as my room was. I was looking out through the windows. Seeing 3 lizards walking outside, then 3 more, then 2 more, then another 3. Their eyes dead and staring like a fish. Mouths open.

My mom turned around trying to discern something next to the door further into the building.

“I think i see something swaying there by the door”, my mom whispered to me. “There in the corner.” She points to a corner right next to the door. It was too dark for me to see but I still saw it, if that makes sense.

We were by the wall standing opposite it. I was thinking of maybe getting out but the other lizards were still marching outside and then there’s the crocodile. I didn’t have time to decide on a course of action because the lizard in the room charged.

I have no idea if I actually found it scary or not. But my brain decided to pull me out of the dream anyway. Probably because the dream was going to end with me and my mom killed. And I have this ingrained conviction that I must not die in a dream. It was 5:40 am now. Still 30 minutes for me to sleep.

But I was too unsettled to sleep. I didn’t want to go back to the dream. In my half sleeping brain I conjured up an automatic gun for me to use but I was unsure whether to use it. The noise would bring the others. But since I was awake in a sense I decided to make it so that we’d win. I would shoot the lizard, I wouldn’t be bothered with the kick back and I’d hit it even though I’ve never fired an automatic before. We would then hide in the lockers as the crocodile entered the building. On the other side of the door that had been locked.

My alarm clock rang at this point.

While the dream doesn’t exactly feel scary in my writing, horror isn’t exactly my specialty, I did have a constant feeling of dread. even when I woke up the two times. I still wonder how my phone was put in that position. Did it do it in my sleep? Or, if we go into the supernatural, was the evil presence from my dream an actual demon of some kind who wanted to get to me?

You know how kids justify them being safe by saying that the bed is the safezone or that if they’re covered completed while on it nothing can get to them? I still have that same belief at times. Especially when I get scared during the nights. I remedy that by hugging one of my pokemon plushies.

Another thing I did was to paint my wall.

This is on the wall above my bed. It’s a language I created, a magical language. And every word is magical. These 3 circles form a protection spell. And nothing that wants to harm me can enter the circle.

I like to imagine that if it was indeed a demon or the like in the room it was unable to get to me because of this spell. Belief is a powerful tool. And so if I believe in something hard enough, like I will be protected against anything and everything while within this circle. Then I don’t have to worry if I have nightmares. And I wake up feeling afraid.