#Anakin didnt HAVE to do it like that but he DID
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Concept:
Everything that happens on screen in Star Wars is being performed by the stupidest mother fuckers that end up in significant places.
Everyone else in the Republic/Empire are quiet competent (have to be to keep the place running around the narrative dumb asses) and just don't do things the hard way on purpose. (You know, like the dumbasses.)
#not a headcanon just a concept#Anakin didnt HAVE to do it like that but he DID#so his janitors sigh and get to work being the best god damn janitors ever.#his tax adjuster has premature grays but he gets the best refund possible#etc etc#st tcw#tcw#star wars#tbb#just... thoughts
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pbatmb anakin telling obi-wan “i’m not wearing that” for the four word prompts please!
so this is pbatmb anakin saying "i'm not wearing that".
but not to obi-wan.
(1.2k) (warnings: general pbatmb warnings apply? vaguely fluffy sorta disturbing, a few uses of daddy but not in a serious way)
There’s a thunk on the other side of the door. It could be either Cody’s fist or his head.
Anakin doesn’t particularly care. He stares directly opposite him, drawing his legs closer to his chest as he shifts on the marble floor.
“Skywalker, come on,” the man says, sounding impatient. Anakin sneers. “We’re going to be late.”
“Fuck you,” Anakin says, resting his chin on his knees.
“We’re going to be late and your fiance is going to think you’re getting cold feet and planning to leave him at the altar and he’s going to make it everyone’s fucking problem in the entire goddamn city. Including me.”
Anakin narrows his eyes, considering the words. He’s not—he doesn’t want Obi-Wan to think he’s running out on him. He’s in his suit, light gray with a golden pattern swirling through the fabric, pristine white shirt and tie, lingerie beneath it all. He’s washed and plucked and styled, and he’s ready to marry Obi-Wan Kenobi.
He is absolutely not ready to leave their shared bathroom in their loft to go to whatever venue Obi-Wan has booked for their ceremony and then their reception. And that has nothing to do with his soon-to-be husband.
And everything to do with his husband’s brother, currently thumping his fist—or head, and Anakin prefers that mental picture—against the locked door to the—to the tune of…
He’s on his feet and unlocking the door in a fit of pique. “Is that really fucking ‘Here Comes The Bride’, you fuc—”
Cody’s fist, raised and pulled back for another knock, doesn’t stop.
Not until it makes contact with Anakin’s eye.
The pain is secondary to the fucking shock. “Holy shit,” he says.
To his credit, Cody doesn’t look as celebratory as Anakin’s always thought he’d look after laying a punch on Anakin.
He actually looks pretty fucking terrified. “Fuck,” he says succinctly. “Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me.”
“Yeah,” Anakin agrees, turning around to look in the mirror behind him. “Holy shit, Fett. I’m bleeding. You made me bleed on my wedding day.”
“Quick,” Cody says. “Display the bedsheets.”
Anakin leans over the sink and prods at the red skin beneath his eye in morbid curiosity, pushing extra hard over the small cut left behind by Cody’s ring. “Oh, dead man walking’s got jokes. Tell that one to Obi-Wan, I think he’d love the implication another man took my virginity. On our wedding day.”
Cody’s glare could level a city. “Now you have to wear this.”
“I’m not wearing that,” Anakin shoots him a look in the mirror. “I wasn’t going to let you tie a blindfold on me before and now that you’ve punched me in the face, not sure I’m trusting you more.”
“Yeah, well. Before you were going to put this on because your fiance requested that you’re led to the venue blindfolded—ostensibly so it’s all a surprise, but if you ask me, he doesn’t think you can run as fast without your eyes—and now you’re going to wear it so Obi-Wan doesn’t see the shiner you’ll be sprouting in a few hours.”
“You think I’m going to wear a blindfold my entire wedding?” Anakin asks, laughter bursting out of him. “You think I’m getting married to someone as hot as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I’m not going to look at him? Fuck, Fett, if I thought it’d work, I’d tear out everyone else’s eyes so I could look at him through them as well.”
“You say the most disturbing things like they’re something to be proud about,” Fett says, a bit like it’s a miracle.
“Like you’ve never torn out a man’s eyes,” Anakin rolls his own and prods at his cheek again.
“Yeah, well, at least I’m sane enough to understand they’re pretty fucking useless outside of the skull,” Cody leans against the doorway with a sneer.
Anakin sneers back. “Daddy, look what Cody did to my face, Daddy. Daddy, it hurt and I cried it hurt so bad. Daddy, did you hear that? I gave tears that should have been yours to Cody instead.”
Cody starts forward automatically, eyes narrowing. Anakin smirks at him.
“Just practicing, Cody,” he smiles. “In case it comes up.”
“You dirty fucking liar.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Is that news to you?”
“Skywalker, wear it.”
“Fett, no.”
“Skywalker.”
“Fett.”
“Skywalker.”
“Fett.”
There’s a vein pulsing in Cody’s forehead. It’s the prettiest thing about him.
“Skywalker. I’m putting this blindfold on you. And you’re going to fucking consent to it because it’s what Obi-Wan fucking wants from you. And me. And it’s my brother’s fucking wedding day and honestly, I was really hoping we’d never fucking get here, but fuck if life’s been that nice to me, ever. Even once. And when I go to sleep, the idea of leaving you on the side of the road in a soggy cardboard box like a stray cat in a fucking hurricane is literally my happy place. Add a few bullets in your most annoying bits, it’s practically heaven, alright, so please don’t think I care about your wedding day, but fuck you if you think I don’t give a fuck about his.”
It may be the most Cody’s ever spoken to him in one go.
He narrows his eyes and weighs his options.
“Fine,” he says.
“Fuck yo—wait. What?”
“Fine,” Anakin turns to face him with a shrug. “I might never trust you not to punch me in the face given half a chance—” he gestures to his eye. “But Obi-Wan wouldn’t trust me with just anyone. Especially blindfolded. So. If I’m marrying into his mob and his multiple properties and his family, I guess. I guess I’m marrying into his trust in you.”
Cody’s eyes narrow. “What else.”
Anakin shrugs again and grins. “And I can’t wait to hear you try to convince Obi-Wan Kenobi to last the whole wedding ceremony—to me—without demanding to see my eyes.”
Cody’s face freezes, fabric of the blindfold stretched between his fingers.
Feeling very obliging all of a sudden, Anakin leans forward to press his face into the silk. “But Cody, you have to know that if my daddy asks me to do something—like, I don’t know, show him my eyes during our wedding ceremony—I will.”
Cody grimaces. Anakin smiles.
—--------
“Thank you, Cody,” Obi-Wan murmurs as Fett guides Anakin to a stop in front of him. “I’ll take him from here.”
“I think I’m just realizing you made me walk him down the aisle,” Cody hisses. "Kenobi, it fucking looks like I'm giving him away."
“It’s not as if he has a father to do it,” Obi-Wan points out, hands wrapping around Anakin’s, strong and sure and achingly familiar. “Thank you for your service.”
“I thought you wanted the venue to be a surprise,” Fett sounds furious.
Anakin beams. “I’ve known it’s going to be in the club for ages. Who do you think suggested the venue? Ceremony and reception in one place with our bed a few floors away? Come on, use your brain, Cody.”
“Don’t make me punch you again,” Cody mutters as he takes a step back.
Obi-Wan’s tone changes like a light flickering off. “Again?”
“Yeah,” Cody huffs. “Did I fucking stutter?”
#asks#obikin#pbatmb#this was gonna be set during vowbreaker#and it was gonna be cody trying to convince anakin to get ready for the funeral#sort of like the idea of a scene in vowbreaker where it's this but cut in with them doing this for the funeral#but anyway this is borderline fluff compared to that huh#alternate ending: cody tells obi-wan they got jumped on their way there#as if they didnt just take the elevator#and obi-wan is so hyped up and nervous about the wedding he forgets they just took the elevator#and hes like who did this#and cody names some other mob boss#and starts a mob war so he doesn't have to admit he fucked up and accidentally punched anakin#once again cody is my favorite person to write in pbatmb#but yah ths was fun because i was picking at vowbreaker earlier today :D
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im probably never gonna watch the kenobi series but i did just find out there was a qui-gon scene so i went to find that. it was awesome btw i have a soft spot for qui-gon. but then in the recommended i saw it... vader vs. obi-wan in that series and i watched it and
#I HATE STARWARS#!!!!!#cant even put my feelings on anakin and obi-wan into feelings#do not form bonds with people do not make friends or find people you call family!!!! it will only end in PAIN#anyway. apart from that.#i always had (and still have) a soft spot for qui-gon like#i watched the prequels first (do not get on my back about this i was 9 years old at the tops)#and then i didnt watch the OT for?? years??#need to stress i wrote a star wars themed mystery play i acted out on stage with friends and my teacher like#let us use the school stage. and my whole class and my mom and siblings came to watch#I DID THAT WITHOUT EVER HAVING SEEN THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY 😭😭😭#i was in like 5th grade for the record#i played. yoda. i think my costume was wearing a green shirt backwards so you couldnt see the graphic on the front#and a beige bath towel as the robe#I WISH I STILL HAD THE SCRIPT ITS JUST ROTTING ON MY ANCIENT LAPTOPS HARD DRIVE#and in case you were wondering? i also played a character called ''president narwhal'' i dont remember his deal. he had a paper horn#he also had a bath towel robe#anyway all that to say.#i had not seen the original trilogy so baby me's first character death that made me sad#was qui-gon in the phantom menace </3#i forgot where i was going with this. my tldr of that is that qui-gon was like my fave as a kid for some reason#so seeing him come back even just for a scene made me like YEAHHHHHHHHH
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I dunno who i gotta convince but sora would not be a jedi
#every day i worry there will be a star wars world in kingdom hearts#i do not want that#but also like if there IS a star wars world. sora would NOT be a jedi his ass is too bleeding heart to be a jedi#and while my knowledge of star wars may be limited#didnt anakin guy who become darth vader also suffer from Too Bleeding Heart For His Own Good or something#and thats why he shouldn't have been a jedi#or did I like. dream that shit up
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GREEDY – Anakin Skywalker
best!friend anakin x reader
your panties have been going missing, little did you know that your perverted best friend has been stealing them ♡
word count: 2,129
warnings: smut. oral (fem receiving) male masturbation. anakin is a needy perv for ur pussy 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
a/n: its literally four am n i've been up writing this filth. not proofread im still kinda new to this stuff/writing but i hope whoever reads this enjoys <3
You weren’t sure exactly when it started. Sure, you were never one to be exactly tidy, so it was pretty common for you to lose random tops around your room, or maybe a pair of underwear, but after the sixth pair went missing, you suspected something was up.
You couldn't exactly figure it out. Where the hell did they go? How did they disappear like that? You’d search all around the house, wondering if they’d been misplaced but no.
So when the seventh pair went missing after your best friend Anakin visited, you pressed your lips together as you pieced together the puzzle. Things always seemed to go missing after he’d leave.
Your face warmed at the idea. Surely not? Was it just your brain making things up? Because then that would mean that well...he liked you. I mean that's what it meant right? If a guy stole your underwear? A part of you wanted to giggle and squeal into your pillow. Despite the many years of friendship between you and Anakin, you couldn't deny that you had developed a crush on him. Who could blame you.
But the other half felt anxiety. What if there was a completely other reason they went missing? Something which had nothing to do with him at all? How could you even question it to him? Bring it up?
Hey Ani. You keeping my best underwear? Can I have it back please? At least the one with the little pink bow? And that lacy black pair? Oh and my white panties too. Oh and the four others please?
Fuck no. There were times where your body would radiate a nervous energy around him because you felt intimidated at how perfect he was.
Little do you know, it's what he loved about you. The way you’d quickly glance away after maintaining eye contact with him for a second too long, a blush growing on your cheeks. Or the way you’d tell him to shut up as a flirty remark left his lips, playfully hitting him despite dying on the inside over it because you felt you couldn't read into it. He had always been so charming. So composed and in control of his feelings.
So imagine the surprise and utter shock that filled your body when you decided to hang out at his house and found him desperately rutting his leaky cock into your black lacy panties.
It wasn't unusual for you guys to turn up unannounced at each other's house, so as you made your way through his house, treading upstairs carefully to sneak up and spook him, the last thing you expected was hearing a deep moan coming from his room.
Naturally, you had to see what that was about. Duh. But as you edged closer, you could hear a string of curse words leave his mouth. His door was slightly open, and you inhaled a sharp breath as you saw his long fingers clutching the pair that went missing around his cock.
Your eyes widened at the size. You didnt know what you expected, but you couldn’t help but gulp at his length. And his achy leaky tip that was thrusting against your pair of panties.
A soft gasp left your lips at the sight mixed with the familiar feeling of warmth that begin to pool in your lower half. Your eyes were so mesmerized on the way he jerked off his cock with your panties, you didnt even feel the cold blue stare that was fixed on you.
That was until his deep voice interrupted your staring.
“You gonna come help me angel? Or gonna stand there and stare?” He half groaned, an amused tone coating his voice as your eyes widened in horror at being caught, snapping up to his stormy orbs.
Your lips parted to speak as you took a step back, instantly glancing away as you raised your hands up. “I-I- Sorry- I didnt mean to uh. Sorry!” You stammered out, trying to look anywhere but there.
You barely even registered what he said.
“Don’t be rude. Come on in.” You weren't looking at his face, but you could imagine the arrogant smirk he’d usually wear painted on his lips, matching with his cocky tone. You hesitantly glanced at his face again and noticed the way his face glistened with sweat. He was shirtless and you couldn't help but let your eyes linger back down to his cock. Your mouth was open in shock again especially as you watched his hand envelop your panties around his cock and slide it up again, your eyes snapping back up to his as he let out a low chuckle at your expression, shamelessly stroking his cock.
“Th-those are mine”. You tried to speak firmly, trying to ignore the way his hand picked up the pace. You don't know what gave you the nerve to say that.
“Yeah? You gonna come and get them baby?”. His voice was airy as he almost whimpered the sentence out, biting down on his plump lip at the sight of you bewildered, watching you jerk his cock.
You blushed furiously, blinking a few times to snap yourself out of whatever was going on.
“Ani! W-what are you even doing right now?” You exclaimed, yet he didn't miss the way your legs squirmed around as you tried to get rid of that feeling.
You knew how to. There was only one way.
Suddenly, he sat up, his thick brows tensing in frustration as he huffed out and stood up slowly. You wanted to back away, and as he moved closer, you wanted to be swallowed by the ground.
You felt almost dizzy. There he was, practically naked, his hand clenching your panties tightly, his cock rock hard against his stomach as he stood in front of you. He leaned down to your ear, his lips grazing it as you shuddered.
“Doing what you should've been doing.” He spoke lowly, his large hands finding your waist before tugging down at your jeans.
Before you could even protest, he had them off and you were stepping out of them. You didn't know why you didn't stop or protest, but the heat in between your thighs decided to be your brains now.
“Ani.” You breathed out, your face red and chest shaky from the anticipation, and as you watched him slowly sink to his knees, you couldn't help but let a whimper leave your lips at the way his nose nuzzled against the damp spot your once white panties held.
He let out a groan at your scent, taking it in as he felt his cock leak even more.
His jerk off sessions would usually start with your used panties against his nose as he sniffed them, even tasted them.
It was the closest he could get to having a piece of you. But now you were here, and he could see your legs trembling gently from need and the way your clit was aching for attention. It was obvious by your leaky pussy that was ruining your panties.
A loud moan left your lips at the way his tongue licked over the cloth covering your most intimate parts. You couldn’t help but rest your fingers in his hair, and it was a good idea you did, because he began licking long strips down your clothed pussy that had you beginning to grip onto his curly locks.
“Please.” You couldn’t help but whimper out, needing to feel his tongue against your bare skin. He nuzzled his face against you, basking in your scent before chuckling against your pussy.
You felt yourself get even wetter.
“Please? That’s what I should be saying to you.” He groaned out, slowly pulling down your panties and relishing the sight of your glistening cunt. He couldn’t help but pump his cock again with his other free hand.
“Been wanting you so bad baby. Wanting to smell you. Taste you- fuck.”
Just as he pumped himself again, he dove his head in-between your legs and began to lap at your juices hungrily. Your eyes widened at the sudden stimulation as a loud high-pitched moan left your lips.
Thank God Shmi wasn't home.
Little whines escaped your lips as he devoured you, his fingers digging into your hips to stabilize you further. You were already trembling, and as he caught your clit and sucked at it tightly, you pulled at his hair roughly, feeling yourself go a little dizzy.
“Fuck- Ani!” You half sobbed out as pleasure shot through your body, and you found yourself grinding against his wet face for more. You could feel him grin against your pussy and watched how he had dropped your old pair of panties and yanked at the white pair he had just took off you, beginning to jerk his cock furiously with them.
His own moans vibrated against your pussy, adding to your pleasure as you felt a white hot heat flow through your veins.
He pulled away before nuzzling his nose against your clit, letting out a whimper.
“Fucking taste so good baby. Been so desperate stealing your panties. Needed your pussy. Just a taste.” He whined out to you desperately, his eyes looking up at you sending another electric jolt through your clit.
There your best friend was, desperately lapping at your pussy, admitting how perverted he had been.
“Please. Please!” He whined out, his tongue resuming licking at your wet folds. Sharp gasps left your lips as he begged for a taste of you. Begged for your cum. You felt hear the messy sounds his tongue against your soaked pussy was creating, but also the wet sound your soaked panties and his cock was making as you noticed the way his hips were desperately grinding upwards.
He was chasing after his own release as he begged to give you yours, whimpering incoherent things against your pussy as you felt your vision go blurry and a loud desperate squeal leaving your lips as the coil in your stomach snapped, and your orgasm crashed. Loud moans and gasps filled the air as your legs trembled against him, desperate to move away from the overstimulated feeling of him flattening his tongue against your clit.
The way you gripped onto his curls tighter and let your juices explode against his tongue had him letting out the filthiest sound you had ever heard as his cum spilled out of his hard cock and onto the white panties he was jerking off with.
As he shook from his own orgasm, he shook his face into your sensitive sopping folds, relishing in your extra squeals as you exclaimed out that it was too much for you. He continued his relentless attack, desperate for every drop of you and you couldn't help but let the tears that had pooled in your eyes out.
“Ani! Anakin! Can't- can't take it please” you begged out brokenly, your hips attempting to jerk away as you felt his fingers dig into your thighs, the light pain overloading your senses as a warm pleasure washed over you.
He slowly moved his face away, a dazed look in his eyes and a wide grin staring up at you with his glistening lips. You couldn't do anything but whimper as you felt your knees give out, but he gently lowered you to the floor on your knees. You trembled as you leaned forward, resting your forehead against his sweaty abs as you felt his hand on your back, rubbing it softly to calm you down.
Your eyes caught the sight of his cock and you couldn’t help but whine out at the sight of your panties stained with his cum. Your hand reached out to pull your panties away from his cock, hearing him hiss and gently tremble at the sensation. You looked up at him, then back down at the stained panties.
“Come on. Don’t look at me like that. I’ll buy you more.” He spoke out, laughing as you giggled with him, playfully rolling your eyes at him.
"You need to buy me eight more.”
He playfully scoffed, standing up as he grabbed your hips, pulling you up with him and guiding you onto his bed, pushing you down.
“Yeah?” He questioned, cockily raising a brow as he began to take your top off. You furrowed your brows in confusion.
“Anakin what are yo-mmfhh!”
Your eyes widened at the fact that Anakin had just shoved your cum stained panties into your mouth. The taste of his cum and your own juices sinking into your tongue as he wore yet again another amused smirk on his face.
He was disgusting, and you felt yourself grow wetter.
“Give me a minute, and I’ll show you something that feels even better.”
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader#anakin smut#anakin skywalker x you#anakin x you#anakin x reader#ᯓᡣ𐭩 mar writes
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mandalore the young cont.
original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!
@malcontent-crow
#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)
#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own
#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?
#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?
#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult
#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else
#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?
(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)
sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao
it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed
hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo
SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀
so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.
I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.
one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he
wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.
he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.
he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.
so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.
and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force
so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.
i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.
and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.
so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.
okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?
now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.
so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.
what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?
I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.
now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.
for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?
okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?
maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.
to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.
NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?
okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.
could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.
haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.
now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.
Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.
the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.
#prequel trilogy#time travel au#obi wan kenobi#star wars#crow i love the way you breakdown everyone's characters and expand on what i'm putting down#like in the two blocks of tags that i've italicised#they make me feel all warm and fuzzy that you're getting so much out of what i'm doing and also they're just a DELIGHT to read#and have informed later characterisations and changed how i've thought about stuff i've already written#mandalorans#world building#vhonte tervho#will be pulling many characters from repcom obv#but fuck karen traviss as both a person and an author so there's that heads up#also!! anyone can ask questions or comment or reply#would love to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas and i LOVE answering#this au would not exist without crow asking me all these questions. just straight up wouldn't exist#malcontent crow#still trying to figure out if i can work in luminara in a way that doesn't feel shoe-horned#several people have voted QuinObi which i am very much not against#it would be SO easy to have Quinlan just. book it to Mandalore#at first to convince Obi-Wan to COME BACK but then he sees what Obi is actually doing and realises he can't do that to Obi or to Mandalore#does Quinlan... STAY on Mandalore with him?? 👀 👀 does he accept he needs to let Obi-Wan go?#does he stay as a Jedi Shadow and help out or does he leave the Order too??#many questions many thoughts
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main masterlist ✧ kinktober masterlist ✦
kinktober : day two - afab!ficauthor!reader x javier peña
prompt : virginity loss [ 18+ mdni ]
word count : 5.1 k
summary : javier peña has been a thorn in your side for months, the last thing you need is for him to find out you write dirty fanfiction
warnings, etc. : language, fluff, smut, protected sex, p in v sex, oral m!recieving, fingering, mutual masturbation, viginity loss (duh), innocence kink sorta, squirting, reader is completely clueless when it comes to sex, javier is a dumb sweetheart in this, plot w a little porn lol
a/n : yippee! this is an idea ive had floating around for a bit and this seemed like a good opportunity to do it! easily the longest of the kinktober stuff lmao which is why i didnt want this to be day one cause i didnt want to set a precedent haha. also i hate this but it's october so like i can't do much about that lmao. AND the edit was rushed bc i gotta get to work so apologies for any errors!!
“What’s that?” You slam your laptop shut the moment you hear his voice.
“Nothing.” You hadn’t heard him come into your office yet here he is, looming over your shoulder.
“Didn’t look like nothing.” You can’t stand the mocking smile on his face.
“Did you need something?” You do your best to sound patient.
“I’ve got some suspect photos I need you to identify.” He’s still grinning from ear to ear as you hold your hand out for the file. You flip through the pictures before tossing them onto the pile of paperwork you’ve been trudging through. You’re waiting for him to leave but he just stays in place behind you until you spin around in your chair.
“Is there something else?” You cross your arms in front of your chest, glowering at him.
“What were you working on?” For god's sake, drop it.
“Get out of my office Peña, or I won’t process your suspects.” Thankfully that gets him to leave, sighing as he closes the door behind him. Once you’re sure he’s not coming back you open your laptop again, quickly closing out your tabs.
The last thing you need is for Javier fucking Peña to read your Star Wars fanfiction.
He makes your life hell around the office enough as is. He makes fun of how you dress, he only ever asks you to file his paperwork, (despite the dozen others who are just as capable.) and you’re pretty sure he stole your lunch one time. He’s just in general a nuisance. (And it doesn’t help that he’s gorgeous and knows it.)
It’s not like you’re ashamed of your writing, you’ve mentioned it in passing to some of your friends around the office but Javier is different. He gives you enough grief without knowing how badly you wanna fuck Anakin Skywalker, you can’t imagine how much worse thing would get if he found you’re writing.
So you get back to work, trying to forget the interaction entirely.
You like to work late on fridays, it makes things easier, you don’t have to come in early on monday and no ones around to bother you while you work. You’re just about done with everything as you gather up all the finished documents, going from empty office to empty office as you leave the respective papers on each person's desk.
You’re nearly done, you’ve just got Javier’s suspect list to deal with as you step into the bullpen to deliver it you’re surprised to see him still sitting at his desk, everyone else is gone, only his desk lamp and computer monitor light the large room. You approach quietly, wanting to get this done as quickly as possible so you can just go home. You’re about to clear your throat to get his attention when you freeze in place.
You recognize the website he’s on.
You’d know that red bar anywhere.
There’s no fucking way.
You feel your face getting flushed, a deep shame settling in your stomach as you take another step forward just to be sure.
Archive of Our Own beta
And just below that, the name of your favorite song, but more importantly, the title of your fanfiction.
You’re so fucked.
You feel a mess of angry tears starting to pool in your eyes as you hear him groan.
That somehow hurts worse.
Not only is he reading it, but he also thinks it’s so bad he’s audibly expressing it. You’re livid, and humiliated, you should spend this weekend looking for a new job because he’s about to become insufferable. Knowing him, everyone will know about it before you even get in on monday.
In your rage you walk forward noisily, tossing his files down onto his desk, turning, planning on glaring at him once before leaving, hoping he doesn’t see how truly upset you are.
Nothing could have prepared you for what you’re met with. You’re expecting a smirk or maybe even a look of disgust, instead he’s gritting his teeth, his hair sticking to his forehead, a visible sheen of sweat on his face and most prominently, his hand haphazardly shoved down the front of his pants.
You both realize the predicament you’re caught in at the same time. You stare way too long. Eyes lingering on the exposed skin where his shirt rides up, a trail of hair running down his naval. Neither one of you moves until you finally snap out of it, squeezing your eyes shut and turning on your heel, walking as quickly as possible towards the exit when you hear the squeak of his chair on the floor as he calls out your name. You don’t dare turn around though, not slowing your pace until you’re out of the building and in your car.
Thankfully he doesn’t pursue you further as you drive home as quickly as possible. Hands tightly gripping the wheel the entire time. You can see your phone blowing up in your bag, the inside dimly lit the entire length of the drive. When you pull into your apartment building’s parking lot. You grab your bag and hurry inside, desperate to just go to bed and forget everything that just happened, ignoring the throbbing between your legs from what you just witnessed.
You step inside your studio, locking up behind you as you toss your bag onto the bed, shedding your clothes and stepping into the bathroom, praying that a cold shower will clear your head.
It doesn’t.
You feel just as hot and frazzled as you did before. Maybe he was just trying to mess with you. If that’s the case then now he’s just sexually harassing you.
Stupid fucking Peña.
You pull a tank top over your head and throw on a pair of panties before collapsing on your bed. You don’t want to look but you won’t be able to sleep if you don’t, so you reach into your bag, retrieving your phone.
Just as suspected you have an endless amount of messages from the man himself. You're about to start scrolling through them all when you read the most recent one.
[ I’m coming over. ]
Son of a bitch.
You quickly scroll through the previous messages.
[ I’m sorry, are you okay? ]
[ Call me or I’m coming over. ]
[ Please just text me back. ]
[ I really liked your story. ]
[ I’m sorry. ]
There’s about a hundred similar messages but one stands out to you more than anything else.
He liked your story.
Why does that make your face burn up?
You start typing, telling him that he doesn’t want to find out what’s gonna happen if he shows up but you’re interrupted by a knock on your door. You trip over yourself as you rush to your dresser, pulling on a pair of sweatpants before peering through the peephole.
Sure enough, there he stands, he looks exactly like you’d left him, shirt untucked and askew, hair a mess, except now his hand isn’t in his pants. You’re about to reach over and turn your lamp off when he clears his throat.
“I know you’re in there, your car was out front.” Well, so much for pretending you aren’t home. You hesitantly unlock the door before pulling it open, plastering a scowl on your face.
“What do you want?” You try to look stern but you know you probably just look nervous.
“I just wanna talk.”
You’re hesitant but you open the door fully, letting him in as you return to your bed, sitting and pointing at the loveseat in the corner for him. Neither one of you speaks, you watch as his throat bobs, he won’t look at you, staring at his hands instead.
“How did you get my address?” You finally break the silence.
“Your file.” He says sheepishly.
“You can’t do that! That’s an invasion of my privacy!”
“That’s what you wanna be mad about?” Fair enough.
“Fine, why did you do it?” You don’t like that he’s here, in your tiny apartment, the memory of him splayed out in his chair takes up all the space.
“Which part?” He finally looks up at you, meeting your gaze.
“Why did you read it?”
“I was curious.” He looks truly apologetic, it almost makes you want to believe him.
“Really?” Your tone drips with sarcasm.
“You seemed really defensive, I wanted to see why.” It seems genuine but you know better.
“You wanted to embarrass me.” You say plainly.
“Why do you act like I’m out to get you?” His brows furrow and his mouth settles into a frown.
“Because you are.” You say it matter of factly, you honestly can’t believe he’s acting like he doesn’t know.
“I don’t understand what I did that makes you hate me so much.” You’re tempted to soften your gaze, but the last thing you need to do if this is all just some trick is appear vulnerable.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Please, enlighten me.” He throws his hands up in exasperation.
“You despise me! You torment me every single day!”
“Really? I torment you?” He points an accusatory finger in your direction.
“You make me do your paperwork every single time, even when there are plenty of other people who are capable of it.” You feel the urge to stand and have this argument, you’re getting heated in several ways now.
“You do it better than everyone else.” He shrugs like it’s a valid excuse.
“Bullshit.” You snark as he puts his head in his hands.
“And I like the excuse to see you.” He mumbles before looking back up at him.
“You make fun of how I dress.” You’re quick to change the subject, not wanting to fall victim to his charms.
“I do not.” His voice pitches up defensively.
“You said I dress like your grandma.”
“That was a compliment.” He can’t be serious.
“How the fuck is that a compliment?”
“I love my grandma very much.” He sounds serious.
“You’re a nightmare.” You fall back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, your head swimming with confusion.
“Have you ever considered that I just wanted to be around you? You assume that I just liked to bother you but maybe I just like being near you.” He stands as you sit up, a look of honest upset on his face.
“You expect me to believe that you did those things because you like me? Are we in middle school, Peña? You could have just asked me out instead of pulling my pigtails on the playground.” You stand, not liking the power imbalance of having him towering over you where you sit.
“I did, you said no.” He crosses his arms and you scoff.
“You did not, you can’t just make things up to get out of this conversation.” You poke a finger into his chest but he just brushes it away.
“I asked you out to lunch two weeks ago and you said no.”
“I think I would remember that if it happened.” His anger fizzles out a bit as he looks you up and down.
“I may or may not have thrown your lunch out that day so you’d be more likely to accept.” He gives you a sheepish look. “But you were so mad you brushed it off.”
“That was a serious offer? I thought you were messing with me.” He just stares at you, wide puppy dog eyes you have to turn away from lest you fall for this act. You don’t get a moment's rest though because as you stare at the floor a particularly harrowing thought crosses your mind.
“How much did you read?” You turn back to him quickly.
“Enough.” When you turn back to him he’s staring at his hands again.
You both know what that means.
“It seemed a little familiar.” He says softly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You want him out, now.
“Don’t play dumb, you know what I’m talking about.” You’re going to look at job listings once he goes home.
“I think you should leave.” You clear your throat, nodding towards the door.
“I’m not leaving until we talk about it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” You sit back down on your bed, your legs feeling unsteady.
“Well I do.” He takes a few steps in your direction and you immediately regret sitting.
“I don’t care what you want, get out of my apartment, now.” You head is tilted up completely as you glare at him.
“Do you really not realize exactly what is happening here?” You can feel his breath on your face, cigarettes and spearmint. You turn your head to the side, refusing to look at him.
This is exactly what happens in your story.
“You’re an idiot.” You whisper, willing yourself not to get any more upset than you already are.
“You wrote your story about us.” He says each word sharply as you grit your teeth.
“I did not.” Now who’s just making things up to get out of a conversation?
“Everything that I did to you, he does to her.”
You don’t have a response to that. What are you supposed to say? He’s right, straight down to the confrontation where he tells her he wants her and she tells him that can’t be possible. He hates her.
He kneels in front of the bed, moving to be in your eye line and when you go to turn your head he grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“I really did like your story.” You shove his hand away as he says it.
“Don’t mock me.”
“Jesus, what do I have to do to make you realize I don’t have an ounce of contempt for you?” He stands, throwing his hands up in defeat.
You finally snap.
“Maybe stop taking my shit and stop giving me extra work and stop invading my privacy and just fucking talk to me like an adult, you arrogant, immature, son of a-“ He grabs your face in both of his hands as he leans down and crashes his lips against yours, you let out a surprised squeak as he cups your jaw. After a moment he pulls back and you’re left staring at him dumbfounded.
“Now, can we please talk about it?” He mumbles before pulling you in again for a single chaste kiss.
“Okay.” You feel a little breathless at the abruptness of his actions.
“I really liked it.” He smiles now, the energy in the room changing drastically.
“You keep saying that.” You whisper.
“It’s true.”
“Wanna give me some constructive criticism?” You laugh but you can see his eyes flicker to the ceiling quickly and suddenly you want to press further.
“You know you quoted me word for word a couple of times.”
“You’re avoiding the question.” You laugh again but now you’re genuinely curious.
“I guess I thought the sex scenes were the tiniest bit unrealistic.”
“Unrealistic?” You feign offense.
“Well yeah I mean, it’s written like you’ve never had sex. They go at it all night and he never needs any breaks? And doesn’t she have like twenty orgasms? I’m pretty sure she’d be in terrible pain at that point.” He laughs softly but when you furrow your brows he stops. “I assumed because it’s fantasy that that’s intentional though.” He adds on quickly at the end.
Your embarrassment is clear on your face as his own expression goes to one of poorly concealed surprise.
“You’ve never-” He whispers, clearly shocked.
“I’ve never.” You finish his sentence, not wanting to hear it out loud.
“I mean, that’s fine.” His ears are burning red.
“I know it’s fine.” You mumble. “I’ve had opportunities to, I just… I don’t know, I guess I made it too big of a deal in my mind and now I just don’t care but I’ve waited this long and-”
“Cariña, it’s fine.” He interrupts you now, that soft smile on his face never wavering.
“Do you think my writing would be better if I had more experience?” You say it like it’s a joke but he sees right through you.
“I’m not sure, how much experience do you have just in general?” He stands, moving to sit beside you on the bed.
“Well I’ve kissed people before.”
“That’s it?” You glare at him and he coughs nervously. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.”
“I’ve been busy with work, it's just, it’s never been a priority of mine.”
“You do know… how to do it? Right?” You smack him on the arm.
“Of course I know how to do it, you read my stuff.”
“That’s why I’m asking.”
“Oh come on, you said it was good!”
“It is good! Everything but the dirty stuff is really good!” You groan, putting your head in your hands, he sits quietly beside you for a bit, rubbing your back.
“Do you want me to teach you?” He says lightheartedly.
“Seriously?” You glare at him.
“It’s the least I can do for unintentionally making your work life hell.” He’s starting to sound more genuine in his over, it sends a chill down your spine.
“So what? We just… do it?” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the idea of losing it to someone who knows what he’s doing.
“No we don’t ‘just do it.’ we do other stuff first.” He sounds amused but you’re glad he doesn’t outright laugh at you.
“Can you just- can you just tell me what to do?” You rest your head on his shoulder briefly and he runs his fingers through your hair.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes please.” You mumble, feeling a strange mix of aroused and nervous.
“Well, in one of the later chapters she blows him, right?” You nod slowly. “And you say it’s her first time doing it, she probably shouldn’t have been able to just take all of him in her mouth right off the get go, especially since he’s apparently nine inches? Which is a whole separate issue by the way.” You can feel your face getting hot all over again as he explains everything like it’s obvious. “If you want to start there we can do that.” He murmurs, trying to meet your gaze but you just keep trying to look anywhere else.
“How big is it supposed to be normally?” You chew on your lip, hoping you don’t sound stupid, you couldn’t be more thankful when he once again doesn’t laugh.
“It depends, but nine inches is a bit outlandish. Have you ever actually looked at that on a ruler? It’s way bigger than you think.” He holds out the estimated size with his hands and you have to stifle a giggle.
“Fair enough.” You lean against him one last time before sliding off the bed, kneeling in front of him. “So she’s like this.” You watch his throat bob as he swallows harshly, everything is starting to quickly become real as he nods. You reach your hands towards the noticeably larger bulge in his strict jeans, stopping just before you touch him. “Can I?”
“Yeah, of course.” With his approval you gingerly unzip the restrictive fabric, watching his half hard dick spring free. He’s certainly not nine inches but he’s still intimidating. You don’t have a frame of reference but you have to assume he’s on the bigger side of things.
“You don’t wear underwear?” You scoff, trying to lighten the mood despite the combined anxiety and arousal pulsing through you right now.
“Not usually.” He murmurs, notably softer than before.
“What do I do first?”
“If you want, you can start by touching it, just do what feels right.” He reaches down to hold your face for a moment until you’re able to calm down a bit. You reach forward at a snail's pace until finally wrapping a hand around the base, jumping a bit as you feel him twitch against your palm. You slowly stroke him, just once before looking up at him, a reassuring smile on his face as you stroke him a few more times, feeling him swell until he stands fully erect. Almost absentmindedly your other hand drifts between your legs, you experimentally grind against your own hand as you continue to leisurely jerk him off, watching how he grips the sheets when you run your thumb over his drooling tip.
“What do I do next?” You look up at him.
“Spit on it, hermosa.” His voice is raspy and you sit up on your knees, a line of spit falling from your mouth onto the head of his cock, drawing a hiss past his teeth. It’s easier to stroke him when it’s wet, you experiment with different speeds, watching his reactions until in a moment of bravery you tentatively guide him into your mouth. You can’t help but feel pleased when his hand instinctively flies to your hair, not moving you in any direction, just holding you. You swirl your tongue around the tip, tasting the bitter pre-cum as you open your jaw a bit wider, letting him slide over your tongue. As you take him deeper you feel him against your throat and you quickly gag, coughing a bit as he gently pulls you off. “Go slow, don’t take more than you’re able to.” You cough again, catching your breath before taking him in your mouth again, slower this time. “Use your hands on the rest.” He murmurs, the low tone shoots through you and you quickly go back to touching yourself with one hand while using the other to stroke the half of his length that you can’t fit in your mouth.
After a few minutes you begin to moan against him as you try to reach your own peak, your hand now haphazardly shoved down the front of your pants. He’s leaning back, his pupils pitch black as he watches you, his breathing unsteady.
“You think you’re ready for more?” He says sweetly, caressing your hair. You pop off of him, watching a line of spit going from the head of his cock to your lips.
“Sure.” You feel less nervous than you thought you’d be as you stand up, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand. You feel all fuzzy and slick between your legs, your pussy aches with need as he takes your hand, pulling you onto the bed with him. You sit up against the headboard as he strips completely, discarding his shirt and shoving his pants all the way down.
You can’t help but take in the sight of him as he turns back to you.
His warm sun kissed skin, the wide expanse of his shoulders a sharp ratio to his slim waist. He’s toned but he’s soft around the edges and his cock stands proud against the thatch of hair on his lower abdomen. You tilt your head the way it curves, admiring it until he laughs.
“I want you to do something for me that wasn’t in the story.” He climbs back into bed with you, playing with the waistband of your sweats.
“Sure, what is it?” You lift your hips, letting him pull them down, tossing them off the bed.
“I want you to show me how you touch yourself.” You stare at him, a little shocked by the request, your eyes going wide.
“Why?”
“I want to see, I want you to show me what feels good.” You want to feel more self conscious but he’s completely naked and something about the fact that you’re still a little covered up helps you relax, with a soft sigh you gingerly slip your hand down the front of your panties. You go off of muscle memory, recalling what you would do if he wasn’t here.
Tracing your fingers in delicate circles around your clit, watching as he begins to touch himself, almost matching your pace. This would have been a fantasy of yours that you’d resort to when nothing else worked. Javier Peña in your bed, revealing some sort of secret attraction to you, you just never thought it would ever come to fruition.
But here he is.
Ravaging you with his eyes as you dip two fingers into yourself with a shuddering breath, his own movements stuttering a bit as you do so. With everything leading up to this it isn’t hard to feel the familiar heat building as you expertly push yourself towards it. After a few moments more you shove your panties down completely, wanting to be unencumbered as you discard them. Without them restricting you, you can easily feel that hot tightening sensation approaching rapidly. Your breathing gets heavy as you grind your fingers against your palm, you feel the familiar fiery sensation in the bottom of your stomach as you start haphazardly fucking your own hand, you keep your eyes on the way he fucks his own until you’re just about to burst and he takes hold of your wrist, stopping you.
“Please I-” You let out a frustrated whine but he shushes you with a quick peck.
“I know, can I do it?” You nod frantically, you’d like nothing more. He gently pushes two fingers into you, you gasp in surprise at the sudden stretch as he slides them in and out slowly, continuing to jerk himself off with his other hand as he watches how you eagerly suck him in.
It doesn’t take much from there.
His thumb mirrors the motions you did against your clit and that’s all he has to do to push you over the edge. Your cunt spasming around his fingers as he works you through your orgasm, hot white burns the edges of your vision and you keep your eyes open long enough to watch as he squeezes the base of his own cock, groaning as he makes his own attempts not to finish. You're vaguely aware of him murmuring something that sounds like praise in Spanish as you get your bearings, he slowly removes his fingers, leaning forward on his knees to kiss you. You catch your breath through the kiss until finally he pulls back.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” His breathing heavy as he nudges his forehead against yours.
“Is it gonna hurt?” You’re more curious than nervous at this point.
“It shouldn’t, and if it does I’ll stop, okay?” He hops off the bed for a moment, searching through his wallet before tossing you a condom.
“Okay.”
“And you’re sure this is what you want?” You carefully tear open the condom wrapper, handing him the rubber ring with a nod, watching how he aptly rolls it onto his cock.
“Probably wouldn’t have come this far if I didn’t.” You slide down the bed a bit so you’re mostly laying on your pillows as he positions himself on top of you. He still seems worried about you so you reach forward, taking his cock in your hand and guiding him between your legs.
You can’t help but sharply inhale as he eases just the tip into you, your eyes flutter shut and your mouth opens slightly as you sigh.
God, you wish you’d done this sooner.
It doesn’t hurt. You expected a stinging, or a tearing, instead it’s just pressure. When you open your eyes you find his squeezed shut now as he slowly works himself into you, rocking slowly back and forth. He keeps your foreheads pressed together, occasionally, bumping his nose against yours.
“Still good?” He whispers, a noticeable strain to his voice. You nod, watching curiously as he pushes his hips forward in one last motion to fully seat himself in your heat. His jaw is tense and he’s breathing through his teeth. “So fucking tight.” He mumbles before leaning forward, groaning into your mouth.
“Does it hurt?” You ask when he pulls himself away with a soft smile.
“No, it just makes me worried about hurting you.”
“I’m okay, I want you to move.” You look down to where the two of you are joined. Watching how he gently pulls himself from you just a bit before pushing back in. That’s when he bumps against that spot inside of you that suddenly has you seeing stars, your hands grip his shoulders as a moan slips out of you, the grin you’ve seen a hundred times before forms on his face, you’d once hated it but now it has you gushing around him.
“Does that feel good?” He tilts his head to the side, nudging his nose against your temple as you nod fervently. He repeats the motion, pulling out about halfway before snapping his hips forward again, your back arching when he slams into the sweet spot inside of you.
“Fuck- Peña, right there.” You whine, your nails leaving little crescent indents in the tan flesh of his shoulders. He gets into a steady rhythm with it, crashing into you with precise deliberate strokes, designed to make your head spin. He grits his teeth once more, his breath going ragged.
“Javier.” He pants, gripping your waist to hold you still. For a brief moment you almost see vulnerability in his eyes.
“Just like that, Javier.” You stammer out as he bends one of your legs up, pressing you into the mattress further as he throws your ankle over his shoulder, the new angle letting him fuck far deeper into you than you even thought possible. The soft and slow Javier starts to dissipate as he bares his teeth, his breath hot and heavy through his tense jaw as he slams into you. The second orgasm building in your stomach isn’t like anything you’ve ever felt before, it’s molten inside of you, threatening to burst as he brings a hand to your clit.
“Shit- tell me when you’re close.” He growls, your vision’s already blurring again as an unfamiliar pressure settles within you.
“I- I am.” You pant out, he accentuates each thrust with a grunt and you feel yourself slip as he applies the slightest pressure to your sensitive bundle of nerves. You’re positive you’ve never come like this before, you soak his cock, a flood of your release pulses out of you as you strangle his cock. He collapses into you, your orgasm sending him over his own edge. You feel him throbbing within you as he groans into the pillow next to you. The two of you lay in a sweaty, breathless heap for a moment until he pulls out of you with a hiss, rolling over, his chest heaving as he lays beside you.
“Now do you believe that I don’t hate you?” He gasps out.
“I might need a little more convincing.” You grin, reaching behind you to turn your lamp off before rolling yourself over so you're on top of him.
a/n : I have a very serious love hate relationship w this.
#lincolndjarin#kinktober#kinktober 2023#javier peña#javier pena x reader#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena narcos#javier pena x you#javier peña / reader#javier pena smut
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I don´t know if this is an unpopular oppnion, I just have not seen this take often outside of fics but I honestly believe Anakin would not have fallen to the darkside if he stayed on Tatooine.
If he stayed with his mother he would not have been exposed to Palpatine in exchange of getting political good points, he would have been adopted by Cliegg Lars after he married Shmi, became Owen´s brother and Beru brother in law, he could have keep Shmi safe from the Tusken Raiders without resorting to violence because even as a child he had a more nuanced understanding of them enough to talk with them with Threepio´s help, in fact it was precisely this fact the thing that broke him when he found out about them kidnapping his mother, he thought they were simply misunderstood and his mind could not deal with this image and in his childhood they were vs his mother being slowly tortured to death in the space of 1 month, he would not have developed his Jedi skills but would have learned to use his force powers in an intuitive manner, just like Luke did in the OT.
While this happens, Palpatine probably would have taken over the galaxy with the Empire, be it because the invasion of Naboo got extended because Anakin wasn´t there to destroy the main control starship of the droid army or Anakin stayed enough to help Padme on Naboo and then came back to Tatooine to stay with his mother.
In this case, ten years later the clone wars would have started and the Jedi Order has the same trouble dealing with war without the training to do so which later would lead to them still be surrounded by an slaved clone army who would open fire the moment it was convenient. Palpatine didnt have an interest in another Jedi besides Anakin so this would lead to him taking on Count Dooku as his official apprentice.
Meanwhile Anakin at this point would have managed to fight off the Hutts over Tatooine and would just enter in conflict with the begginings of the Empire, just this time he would not have any kind of relationship to the Emperor and would just see them as slavers under another name given the chips used in the clone army and either obi-Wan or another Jedi survivor could have teached him about his force powers without having to sacrifice his mother relationship to him or being isolated from the Jedi order for most of his youth.
I also see Padme and Anakin falling in love here as well, I don´t see either of them staying away from fighting Palpatine´s Empire but this time their relationship would not have the added stress of being hidden or forbidden, Luke and Leia could have been born earlier this time.
I have only seen a few fics that tackle this scenario and most of them are about time travel in which an older Vader version of Anakin takes over young Anakin or personally gets to the past to raise himself as a father figure and fight the Emperor from the beggining of TPM but I believe this perfectly would have happened in canon if Anakin had stayed on Tatooine.
#anakin skywalker#anakin au#meta: anakin skywalker#palpatine#Count Dooku#Shmi SKywalker#Padme amidala#Cliegg Lars#Owen Lars#beru whitesun#star wars au
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Hayden Christensen - The first time - 2
let’s pretend that i didnt already start writing this for a separate story before i decided to just add it in for a part 2 please and thank you! Here’s part 1 if you haven’t read it and my masterlist for more!
word count: 1998
You had landed a part in Star Wars after years of auditioning for any possible role. You had struck mainstream fame after a horror movie you did for Rob Zombie. They had introduced an interesting character, they wanted to give Darth Vader a devotee, of course after Padme he never loved again but they wanted to show how exactly he dealt with it immediately after her passing. The audition was a scene in which said devotee breaks after pining for his approval the entire series.
“I have given you everything I am, I betrayed everything I ever knew, and I have done everything you ever asked! Just once I want you to see me, all I do, all I am is for you… Anakin.” Your voice sounded empty, defeated, broken and angry. Unrequited love in the worst case scenario possible, falling in love with a widowed sith lord. The story outside all the theatrics however was quite the opposite.
“Chosen one, how’s your morning old man?” You taunted in a merry voice, the taller blond man just shook his head. A smirk resting on his lips as he scoffed at the weak attempt of a joke.
“You aren’t too far behind me lady,” he dropped his bag onto the blue mat next to yours. Soon Hayden towered over you awaiting the inevitable comeback, something you’d grown accustomed to during training.
“Twelve years is enough for me to give you shit big papi,” you shoved his torso once you felt your neck stiffening at the uncomfortable angle it required to look at him.
“Well I thought you two weren’t supposed to get along,” Dave Filoni, you swear you could spend hours thanking this man for his work in the Star Wars universe, afterall he did create your character.
“Dave!”
“Hayden!”
They briefly shook hands, clearly having a deep respect and adoration for each other as long time coworkers and friends. Behind Dave however was this redhead, she was older than you but still younger than Hayden. She was the trainer's assistant who very much liked to try and correct Hayden, despite him having more experience than most of us. It wouldn’t have struck a chord with you, it shouldn’t have, but when she placed her hands around his arms to adjust his ‘lightsaber’ it angered you deeply. Luckily for you she seemed to be in quite the chipper mood, “Fan- fucking -tastic,” you thought while watching her drool over him.
“-And then we’ll get started on your final battle, sound good?” Dave looked between you and Hayden, a nod coming from you both before he walked away; being replaced by the main trainer, Harry.
“Morning, Milord, lover girl, Jess.” His voice was relaxed as always, he was a gentle man despite the skills he had taught us. He could cheer you up and stop you from being discouraged one moment and then completely body slam you the next. You were forever grateful he was the trainer, because if it was that snotty bitch Jessica, you’d never catch a break. He liked to refer to us using names related to our characters to ‘get us in the headspace’ you just thought it was cute.
“Morning puff, how was the commute this morning?” You teased since he always complained about traffic, but today he gave you a knowing look. Puff was the nickname you gave him, his hair was insanely fluffy and long it also was a very light blonde.
“Well I’ll have you know it was better today, I hope that’s how your choreography goes as well since we’re gonna start breaking down your final battle today.” He grabbed a pole before swiftly turning to us, a test he’d do every now and then to see if we could spring into action. Of course, being the teacher’s pet I’d met his ‘blade’ first.
“Ah my lover girl, always quick on her feet,” his praise made you smile while he stood down, returning to his previous spot.
“She still needs to keep her legs braced properly, her stance is weak,” Jessica spat while she walked over to Harry, twirling her pole in hand cockily. To be fair she’d won many matches against you, but as of recently you had the winning streak.
“Now Jess-”
“Wanna give it a go, see how weak my stance really is?” You proposed, walking out to the middle of the mat, leaving Hayden to stand lonesome in the corner. He loved your drive, your constant need to prove yourself against that wretched woman. Not many people fancied her, it wasn’t hard to understand why, Hayden was not one of those people.
“Any day, any time, you know I’m always ready,” she quickly met you in the middle, poised for action, awaiting your first strike.
“Are you?” You had been working on this rendition of Hayden’s move, it was your personal touch to the character. It was the famous ‘Obi-Ani’ however when the saber went behind your back the blade would be downturned. From there it would switch hands, strike once it was brought forth, then switched back to your right hand. That was exactly how you started, she hadn’t been able to combat it and in the fictional universe her hand would be severed. In the real world, you hit her wrist very hard, you hoped to see the bruise later on.
“Impressive! I didn’t know you had finally polished that move, I think it will do well in the choreo.” Harry quickly declared before getting in between you two. Hayden also approached you, his hand turned your shoulder to face him.
“What even was that?” He sounded impressed, almost childlike especially with the smile that accompanied the question.
“I took your move, and I made it my own master,” you said cockily with a shit eating smile. Harry’s praise made you smile, but Hayden’s interest made you jump for joy.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
It had been a few hours now, you had gone through 4 out of 10 parts of the battle and you were starting to get frustrated. The lightsaber part had never been an issue, but the footwork on your part was intense. It had to be because by now Anakin was Darth Vader his mobility was nothing like the prequels. To keep Hayden stiff they had pads on his arms and knees to limit the movement. On top of that there was a lot of dialogue throughout the beginning, so you kept circling each other, anticipating each other's next moves.
“Again, let's slow it back dow-“
“No. Let’s do it again, I just need to keep doing this until I get it.” It wasn’t a backflip or some mind blowing parkour, however the transition from running, to sliding, up to your knees; and then trying not to fall back while Hayden pushed down on you with his saber wasn’t easy.
“Do you want me to ease up?” God sometimes you just wanted to hit him with the pole when he tried to water it down for you. He came from a good place but amidst your frustration, and Jessica’s relentless corrections you were losing control.
“No, just start again at 3”
“Okay, on your line”
And with a heavy sigh you repeated the last line of your spiel. “Just once I want you to see me, all I do, all I am is for you… Anakin.” Your voice was harsh, it was unmissable so as Hayden began his attack, you deflected with more force than normal. Your jaw was clenched and your fists tight. Your eyes were set on Hayden, it was like you were doing the scene for the actual take, hell it was like you were actually living this scenario.
“Anakin is no more, I killed hi-“
“Liar!”
You stepped forward going back into the confrontation, your sabers clashing louder than before. Grunts leaving your throat as you push your tired body to perfection, until you catch sight of Jessica. Her glare stuck on you as if you killed her favorite person, it just made you fume. The next part is when you cut off Vader’s left hand and while normally you let Hayden put his hand down, you hit the back of his hand. Finally it had clicked that you weren’t okay, something was bothering you and he had a pretty good idea why. However he remained silent and followed through with the scene.
“All this time, did you think I might fall in love with you? Your pride consumes you, padawan.”
“And your grief consumes you.” You said through clenched teeth, this was where you had to jump off a blue block they’d set up. As you jumped down, you rolled onto your knees before running at Hayden, and to avoid his saber you slid beneath it. Once you turned to face him, you hurriedly got onto one knee finally making it on time before your sabers clashed. He pushed down on you and you could feel your shoe slip against the slick fabric of the mats. You were fed up with this plastic always fucking this part up so you pushed back with all your upper body strength.
Not your best moment.
Hayden fell back as you stood up and this finally calmed you down from your mood. You breathed heavily while you walked over to help him back up, twirling your saber mindlessly. You looked down at the blonde, holding your hand out wordlessly in embarrassment.
“Sorry, I just-“
“Let’s take a break, and talk about this.” Hayden interjected before hurriedly ushering you to the parking lot. There was nothing to say, it was childish of you to act out, it was embarrassing, you couldn't begin to process the emotions pooling in your stomach. He unlocked his car and opened the door for you without hesitation, he was scarily calm as you got in the passenger seat. It didn’t take long for him to get into the driver’s seat, long strides equaled less steps. Once he was seated the silence continued for a moment, you wouldn’t dare meet his gaze.
“Jessica is a hard person to be around, I’m sure you’ve had a few instances like that in the workplace. Y/N you are giving her what she wants when you get angry, people like that thrive off your misery.” Hayden Christensen, he had to be God’s favorite, he was so nice and understanding. A gentle giant trying to reason with a short psycho, perfect.
“It disappoints you as much as it does me-“
“I’m not disappointed in you, if anything I’m proud… surprised even.”
“Surprised?”
“Yeah, Harry assumed you would’ve chewed her head off by now. You saved me 20 bucks”
“So what I’m hearing is you think I could win in a fight.” The mood was lighter now, you both sported bright smiles while the banter continued.
“I wouldn’t have put money on you if I didn’t think you would,” he was being sincere and you knew by the way he spoke so effortlessly.
“Might not be for much longer, it’s like she gets worse everyday- that or my tolerance is getting shorter.” This time your tone sounded defeated, sure you’ve dealt with more stressful things in life, but it seemed as though you had no more patience left. Hayden quickly took note of this and used the leverage of you being a Star Wars nerd to cheer you up.
“Have faith love, everything will soon be set right… I’ve been told she’ll be transferred to a different project anyway. Someplace far far away from us,” His voice dwindled to a hushed volume, it was soothing.
“That would bring peace to the entire city.” He laughed at your brutal joke before changing the subject.
“So do you think we can go in there and try to play nice?” The question lingered for a moment before you reluctantly answered him.
“I don’t make promises.”
“But?”
“But… I will try.”
“Atta girl.”
@oogachakaooga
@lonelywitchv2
@papas-peepee
#fanfic#anakin fanfiction#anakin x reader#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x y/n#anakin imagine#anakin x you#anakin x y/n#anakin fluff#D3M0NT0N1C#demontonic
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You have now infested my brain with "teen brother mother" anakin, like yes they gave a whole child to a man they thought was not yet mature enough to handle himself in the bigger picture and said "yea make it work bc we think you need to wisen up" AND they did this in the middle of a war mind you, then the mad lad with all his issues manages to actually do a mostly decent job about it all and yea I just think it's so interesting (also irrelevant but him having ahsoka 1000% in my mind is what made him not fear having a baby with padme in general, like he still had practical worries yes, bc hello theres a war n such. but he was excited to be a father in general, and I give that part to being with padme but also in part to having ahsoka first, he didnt mind being someones something and helping them along in life, he actually learned to love it)
thank you!! the circumstances around ahsoka are CRAZY and sooo underdiscussed and they shouldn’t be!! bc it’s fascinating and enriches a lot the themes of corruption and exploitation and moral rot imo. and it’s sooo interesting and honestly tragic that anakin managed to not continue The Cycle despite the circumstances bc it shows he was not in fact a lost cause from the start and like…agh!! much to think about!
and yeah i totally think she was a factor in his excitement for parenthood! it definitely adds to that retroactively (and also makes it make more sense to me personally but that’s a me problem bc parenthood scares me sooo bad and being excited about it breaks my brain. but i’m not anakin so shrug)
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Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (BROKE MY FUCKIN HEART CHAT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENENED????)
Ugh they’re going to rescue the chancellor
HOW ARE THEY THIS IN TUNE WITH THE FORCE BUT CANT SEE THAT THE CHANCELLOR IS EVIL
WOW THIS INSECT LOOKING GUY IS COOL
NOWAYYY OBIWAN CANONICALLY MAKING PATHETIC DAD JOKES THIS IS SO FUNNY
Dookie’s back
MAN THE PARALLELS TO THE OGS ARE CRAAAAZZZZYYYYY
anakin probably put Luke through the same stuff he went through to test if hes a little bitch like him
Okay anakin your problem is you only listen to yourself
NO WAY HOW DID THEY GO FROM THIS BROMSNCE TO KILLING EACH OTHER NEXT MOVIE
Did anakin just call him short… does he have a death wish
Chancellors such as bitch
I just know padmes gonna die and hes going to turn cuz of her
The chancellor really said you’re not like other girls anakin
Okay so anakin has to pick sides between
“HE’S NEVER LET ME DOWN”- NOOOO OBIWANNN NOOOOOO HES GONNA BE SOOO HURT
This whole movie is everyone manipulating anakin to try and get him on their side
Kung fu panda - dragon warrior drama
Count dookie
BRO IS HE INSERTING DREAMS INTO ANAKINS MIND
Theyre boxing him in THE COUNCIL IS SO ANNOYING THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DEAL IWTH A REBEL KID
Someone give nick fury and yoda parenting lessons
NO NO NO NOOO NOOO NOT FOR THIS NO NO PADMES GONNA BE FINE NOOO NOOO NOOO NOOO THIS STUPID CHILD NOOO HES GOOD I KNOW HES GOOD
How did the jedis not see this???????
NO??? ANAKIN??? TELL ME ANAKIN DIDNT KILL A BUNCH OF CHILDREN WHAT THE FUCK?? No absolutely not im not siding for this bullshit fukc off
In the immortal words of Deadpool you punch a couple hundred orphans and suddenly you’re the bad guy
My god anakin IM SO FUCKIN PISSED AT YOU YOU CANT KILL CHILDREN YOU FUCKIN PRICK I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK NONE OF THIS IS JUSTIFIED WHAT YOU HAD A BAD DREAM SO YOU GO KILL KIDS FUCKIN BITCH
I want to kill anakin Fight me right now
Are you really going around killing children like youre not even going to rise to crimes in a linear manner?? You directly kill kids??
Youre so full ofF SHIT ANAKIN- SHE DIDNT ASK YOU FOR ANY OF THIS YOURE SO STUPID YORE NOT DOING THIS FOR LOVE YOU’RE DOING THIS FOR POWER YOURE PATHETIC
Yes anakin blame obi wan BLAME ANYONE BUT YOURSELF
standing in the middle of a burning planet I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE
No this is breaking my heart no no no no No no no no
YODA PLS PLS PLS KILL EMPEROR PLS (ik he wont but pls) Yoda is so powerless why didnt he stop anything WHY WERE THEY SO BLINDED WHY
Yeah yoda GO HIDE YOU BIG FAILURE MY POOR OBIWAN HE DOESNT DESERVE ANY OF THIS
I did not sign up for this heartbreak FUCK YOU ANAKIN FOR MAKING ME LIKE YOU FOR A TINY BIT
FUCK YOU FOR MAKING OBIWAN LOVE YOU AND THROWING IT ALL AWAY
YOU BECAME WHAT YOU FEARED YOU FUCKIN IDIOT I HATE YOU SO MUCH ANAKIN AND FOR WHAT
They lied to him, idc he deserves to hate himself for the rest of eternity
Ohh theyre making the Death Star now
…. this family needs therapy
(6/9)
#CHAT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED CHAT???#luke skywalker#cp2077#han solo#princess leia#r2d2#c3po#darth vader#obi wan kenobi#starwars#star wars
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New life with her
captain rex x reader
The secret marriage between you and rex had always stayed a secret between you and him, with a select few that had witness the wedding and approved of the relationship. As everyone knew if these relationships was found out it will be bad new for the both of you, but mostly rex as he had most of his life serving the republic and doing his duty as well. Soon enough the secret marriage will not stay secret anymore, as it will become well know to the republic and jedi. Soon the exposure of your marriage will soon affect your life and rex life in the end.
Bail " due to your relationship with clone trooper rex the senate has decided it will be for the best, if you step down from you position and leave the senate"
y/n " ......'
montha " we can't have this happening in the senate y/n we are sorry but your action have concerns for everyone, and the separatist could use this against us and it can hurt many people"
y/n " so I'm losing everything because I chose to be with a man I love and I'm not giving up on him"
bail " you are losing everything for the betterment of everyone else I'm sorry y/n but it will be good for you to leave now"
y/n " padme"
padme " I'm sorry y/n but it for the best we have to think about the well-being of the republic and the people you serve, you have done enough damage and broke your oath"
y/n " I made Oath to serve the republic and I did that there was noting against falling in love"
padme " it for the best we cant have the separatist or anyone else seeing we are breaking our rules"
y/n " what about rex"
senator" we was stripped of his rank and status of trooper he is just avenge man now ... he could of been more and so could you but looked what happened you both are useless and betrayed us"
y/n " bail, montha, and padme we are friends I'm friends with all of you are you really going to look at me like this"
bail " we are sorry y/n and we wish for the best for you" you didn't say anything else as you were soon escorted put by droids, you had seen the troopers look at with you disgust.
padme " y/n"
y/n " padme"
padme " I'm sorry but I had to do what was right for our people and the republic, we have to sacrifice what we love and care for so everyone else can be better"
y/n " so will you be saying the same thing if everyone found out you and my brother"
padme " I'm spry y/n there a place for you on nabob where you can live with rex, and I will come to see you along with anakin"
y/n " really padme you are going to stand here and save yourself and act like you are secret married to a jedi"
padme " I and anakin relationship has to stay a secret I'm sorry y/n but maybe one day everything will be fine" you dandy say anything else and you walked away from the senate building, it will be a long time until you are back here. It will be the last time any of your old friends will see and hear form you.
later on
y/n " rex" you found rex wearing normal clothes not longer with his armor, he looked upset.
rex " hey my love" you soon hugged rex he had given everything now to republic and now he was stripped of everything even his brotherhood as well.
y/n " I'm so sorry my husband I all my fault"
rex " no it not your fault my love what has happen can't be undone"
y/n " padme didnt fight for me none of my friends did after all these years it ... meaning nothing" rex soon got up from his seat and soon hugged you as the two of you stood there.
rex " don't cry everything will be fine"
y/n " where do you go from here we both lost everything"
rex " we can start a new life on planet far from here just the two of us, and see where they take us"
y/n " I will love that" you and rex soon left the clone base as you saw his armor was backed up in duffle bag he was given, his former or fellow brothers either looked at him or turn their backs to him. You held rex hand tight as the both of you handed toward your apartment to spend one last night there, as you two will be leaving.
y/n " so where this planet you know of rex"
rex " it good planet and is neutral in the war so we will be safe, and it less liking the republic will come and the separatist as well ... there a home and I can find some work I was told about from a friend I was talking with it will be hard but maybe it will be best for us"
y/n " I will love that rex anywhere with you will be good" rex soon smiled towards you and soon brought you into an embraced, soon the two of you talked more about your new lives. After getting all the Information you need for you and rex, to started new life without anyone asking questions and having some of your stuff send to this new home.
anakin " hello you two"
y/n " anakin"
anakin " sister I'm sorry for what happened and I'm sorry to rex" rex didnt say anything as he looked at his former commander with heartbroken look on his face.
y/n " anakin I'm your sister so hwy did you fight for me and rex"
anakin " I'm sorry but if anyone found out me and padme I wilmlose her and she will lose everything she loves"
y/n " so what are you going to do now the republic might mark me a traitor in now time, rex has been stripped of everything that he fought for"
anakin " I'm really sorry but where you go I will make sure you both, are safe and taken care off"
padme " oh ani" you soon turned around from your brother you just wanted someone to fight for you and rex, but it seems like your brother wouldn't do that at all.
rex " jedi knight skywlaker I think it best if you leave here for now"
anakin " rex come on we ...."
rex " please leave my wife be sir it has been a long day for her" anakin soon nodded his head and started walking away from the duo.
anakin " I hope one day everything will be fine and you can understand what happened here today sister" you didn't say anything as anakin soon left you soon started crying, as rex brought you into a embrace as you cried on his shoulder.
the next day
????? " y/n rex" you and rex were about to leave when you two spotted ashoka coming running toward you both she soon stopped, when she reached you two.
y/n " ashoka"
ashoka " I came to say goodbye you two have changed my life and helped me learn, I'm sorry for what happened to you both it wrong"
y/n " thank you ashoka"
ashoka " rex I'm so sorry if I ...."
rex " It okay kid I will be fine I just need you to be safe out there, and give a good fight as well"
ashoka " yes rex I will make sure I will look after anakin for you y/n and the troopers for you rex" you and rex soon hugged ashoka one last time, before you both got on the ship leaving the republic home world. Only ashoka and friends that were on your guys side and helping will know where you and rex had gone. Rex heart had broken when he was stripped of everything he knew and had been raised to be, until he knew you wil become his new world and life. It will be the two of you now making a new life in this galaxy.
#star wars the clone wars#star wars#star wars clone wars#star wars tcw#clone wars 501st#clone trooper x reader#the clone army#the clones#clone troopers#the clone wars#tcw#captain rex#captain rex x reader#captain rex x you#anakin x reader#anakin x padme#padme and anakin#501st x reader#501st battalion#501st legion#ashoka tano#anakin and ahsoka#anakin x you#anakin skywalker#clone wars#clones
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Dont make me do this
Masterlist
Summary: The chosen one has fallen, disappearing into the dark, following sidious. And though it is your duty to end him you just cant, why? Why should you kill him when ll he had done was be human? He gave everything for the love of his life. And you would do the same, you abandoned him once, and you will not make that mistake again, even if it meant following him into the shadows.
Warnings: jedi bashing? Swearing, angst, poorly writen gore/graphic injury.
A/N: This is a purely self indulgent fic based around unrequited/hidden love and HE DIDNT DESERVE THE FUCKING SUIT! All that precious little bean did was try to save his wife a baby 😭😭😭
"Obi wan, we have to do this" you pleaded quietly, trying not to let padme hear you from your position in the cock pit. Your eyes searched his desperately, praying he'd see reason and agree to help you. You couldnt do this alone. Your prayers were unanswered Instead you felt ice prickle in your veins. shuddering under the intense glare the jedi master sent you. Youd never seen him so... angry before
"This is madness! You are letting your feelings cloud you;" he scolded quickly wiping the rage from his face trying not to succumbto his own emptions and be called out as a hypocrite.
"Damn fucking right i am! I am letting it get in the way, because being fucking emotionless drove him away, drove him to this." you snapped back your own desperation driving you to a furious frustration.
"Thea please now is not the time for this;" obi-wan sighed once again trying to brush you off as he often did. As everyone did. But this time you refused to be ignored, this was too damn important. You leant over slamming both hands down on the console letting your force crackle ominously around you.
Obi-wan stiffened at the display of hot fury. Something he'd heard mace and yoda raise concern about in meetings, yet he'd never seen this for himself. It was unsettling to see you so riled up. For the first time in his life he saw somthing else in you. Something frightening.
"It is the only time for this! Obi-wan, Anakin has struggled all his life in the order. He feels much more then anyone i know. He doesn't feel sadness only devastation, not happiness but elation, never fondness but love. He always has. And he felt completely and utterly alone" obi-wan tried to argue, he opened his mouth wantingnto find the words to counter you. But he couldnt, you were right, Anakin sought out connections. He didnt mean to but he did, subconsciously he always needed to cling to something, someone.
And in pushing him away, setting clear boundaries between them in an effort to stop himself becoming a father figure to anakin he hadnt been there to stop this madness. He'd failed to curb anakins need for attachments. Perhaps if he had allowed anakin to latch onto him as the boy wanted, he wouldnt have unknowingly sought out sidious, or you or persued padme. He could have happily continued his path as a jedi along side his master.
"We did that, we isolated him. Or made himmfeel isolated. He felt like he couldnt come to us for help obi-wan. He thought we'd judge him, that we would abandon him."
"He was terrified that the one person he loves, the only person in the world he could truly be ungaurded around was about to be torn from him. He made mistakes but so did we..." you traild off slumping back against the wall of the ship feeling your own shame wash over you. The many times youd seen anakin not himself, but let him brush you off, telling you he was just tired or giving some other generic excuse. Should you have pressed him harder? Pushed for answers, made him snap at you and perhaps get the truth. Was that what he needed?
"He slaughtered the younglings! He's become sith, and you want to pity him, you dont know what your asking!" Your self doubt was cut short as obi-wan growled in anguish. He was so torn, hurt by what had happened. Maye more so then you, he probably felt even more responsible for this then you did. He practically raised anakin. But no mtter how much this hurt him you were not about to let him take it out on you. No. He didnt get to do that, he wasnt the only person hurting, nd you werent about to become an emotional punching bag for him.
"I am asking you to fucking help me. I am asking you not to do this, dont fight him. He doesnt need an adversary. He needs help, he need us to accept him, to be honest with him and guide him" you snapped back watching with a tightening chest as obi-wan pulled back slightly. Before shaking his head scoffing at you, trying to calm his irritation. He spun away from you flicking a switch on the control panel before ducking his head pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Accept him? How. How can we accept this! How can you stand there and tell us we need to join him!" When he finally spoke again his voice rose quickly. You faltered not used to seei g anything but mild disapproval from him. Never had he bordered anger like this. You knew it was only natural, a mix of fear, disappointment and dread. He felt betrayed.
"Because thats what we need to do to fucking bring him back! I want to bring him back and we cant do that if we arnet beside him. For fuck sake this is the orders fault as much as it is sidious'... its our fault obi-wan. We ignored the signs, we... took Anakin for granted assumed he would cope alone so left him to his own devices" you managed to keep calm, trying to reason with obi-wan.
"We nurtured his turning by allowing his marriage to go undeteced we should have reported it;" obi-wan didnt get to finsh. You were narling in his face before he could move an inch.
"Dont you dare. DONT YOU DARE! Padme is the only reason he didnt fall sooner and you know it!" Your temper flared as you pointed in the direction of padme somewhere in the ship. Youd put up with a lot, but blaming padme because he couldnt stomach the thought of failing in his teachings was not one of them.
"And now look! He turned anyway! He fell Thea." He spoke quieter this time realising he may have begun to be unnecessarily harsh.
"Yeah he did. He fell right into the hands of sidious, because we couldnt catch him ourselves. Joining the dark side isnt the answer... even if we were just pretending so we can make him see the light, sidious would know." You offered once more, still trying to make obi-wan come around to your way of thinking. Surely it was better to try and save Anakin by nymeans then to just go and kill him? Didnt obi-wan love him enough to try?
"Im sorry but i have to do this. He has to see reason or..."
"Careful Obi-wan that almost sounded like an absolute." You hissed cruely making him snap his gaze to you. Eyes hardening as he took in your stnce, the way your force rippled around you sinisterly.
"Thea" he warned gently, trying to calm you and use that legendary charm he was famed for. But you sneered at him instead. All you could think was how easily the jedimaster was giving up, how he threw away his brother so quickly and would turn on him when there were other ways.
"You don even care how hypocritical you just sounded do you? The same old jedi double standard" Youd scoffed rolling your eyes, unable to The hypocrisy and intolerance wouldnt change.
"Please try to see things clearly" he almost pleaded, but unfortunately it was too late. Youd made your decision, and he had made his. All you could do now was watch things crumble around you.
"Oh trust me I do. i didnt before, but i finally understand. You dont see it. Do you? Its the order. Its poison. It's infected your mind like a sickness. They made sure the order means more to you then actual living breathing people." Your words began to twist, prod and slice at him but once you started you couldnt stop. Wouldnt stop.
"That no one in the galaxy should be more important or more powerfull then the jedi. Its funny really. The sith empire will rise again; more powerfull then last time and it was pssible because of the jedi orders hubris and even now the jedi are so blinded by their pride they refuse to admit it" your eyes locked with obi-wan's pwn pained gaze. He didnt respnd, you werent sure if it was because he was hurt by your words orif he thought this would blow over, that you were just throwing a tantrum. After a few more moments of silence he sighed, opeing his mouth to speak but it was too late.
"I dont want to hear it. Just know if you raise your saber, i will to." You anounced drawing a line in the sand before gettingnup, leaving the cockpit ignoring his calls to come back and talk this out. But there was no talking. No reconciliation. The time of the jedi had ended, the order was dead. and unfortunately obi-wan wasnt smart enough to admite defeat and abandon the sunken ship.
You watched from Inside the ship as anakin and obi-wan dueled across mustafar's boiling terrain. You yelled in fury obi-wan was cunning, after youd left him in the cockpitt to mull over your words he'd removed your acsess to the doors. And left with pad,e quickly making sure you were kept on the ship.
Your heart broke as the fight continued, eyes watering as two people you caredmfor deeply camemto blows in a brutal battle. Padme was unconscious on the floor by the ship. It had been frightening seeing first hand what anakin was capable of, what he was willing to do to those he belived betrayed him. A tiny part of you wanted to stay on the ship out of fear. You were scared he now thought you were a backstabber. That youd forsaken him as padme and obi-wan had.
No. no you couldnt allow it. You wont let him think so little of you.
"3-po! Quick we have to get padme, come on we have to help her" you pleaded motioning to the woman sprawled out on the floor. Your words drew the droids attention and suddenly he was stepping towards the back of the ship all the while continuing his usual anxious rambling.
As soon as the door was open you bolted, running past the droid full speed stopping beside padme checking her over. She was unconscious- maybe passed out? But not dead. Thankfully Anakin would never forgive himself or obi-wan if padme had died here like this.
"3-po you handle this, take her to the ship and look after her" you called over your shoulder to the droid ignoring the complaints from him.
You raced across the surface of mustafar unclipping your lightsaber as you climber a small burning dune of sand only to freeze at the scene. Obi-wan had anakin trapped, the former was being backed up to the flowing lava. They were yelling at one another, screaming. Anakin was meeting his master blow for blow but Obi-wan wasnt relenting or holding back instead he was leading anakin to the river. Anakin hadn't noticed, he was to angry, he wasnt paying attention.
You ran, jumping, leaping forward trying to close the distance between them before it was too late. Your anger spiked fueling you, urging you to go faster. Obi-wan was going to throw him in the lava. He wasnt going to kill him himself. He didnt have the guts to do it cleanly himself!
Obi-wan brought his saber down in a powerfull blow tipping Anakin off balance . And with that the chosen one began to fall.
"NO ANAKIN!" the scream tore from your throat in such a mournful bellow it hurt your vocal cords. Both men looked towards you startled by you. Your arrival destracted obi-wan enough for you to stretch out to the force as Anakin fell into the molten lava.
He screamed in excruciating pain as one arm, shoulder, leg and the side of his chest became burned but you yanked on him. Your force was quick enough to pull him from his fiery grave before it could engulf him. And it was strong enough to put some distance between him and obi wan. Anakin landed heavily out of harms way quivering, hissing and moaning as the pain of his wounds began settling.
Anakin was alive. He was alive. Thank the force youd got out of that ship.
You didnt stop. Even though Anakin was alive, you didnt stop your charge. No. Instead to ignited your own saber and jumped over Anakin before lunging at obi-wan.
"Wait what are you doing? You said youd help" obi-wan yelled raising his saber only just managing to block your own. He staggered back, unprepared for the power youd put behind the blow. He waited for you to pull back but you didnt. Instead you pushed on keeping your blade locked with his, digging your heals into the rock below you and using your weight to throw him back a few steps creating some distancebetween the two of you.
"I said id raise my saber if you do. I never said it'd be pointed at Anakin" you panted pointing your saber to him threateningly.
His eyes widened, realising you had intended to kill him. He glanced to the purple of your saber. He knew what it meant, had always known what it meant. You were comfortable useing the dark side if you had to. It was unspoken but purple sabers were somewhat feared in the order. It meant you had afinty for both light and dark. It meant you were a different kind of jedi. Strong, dangerous. Suddenly he felt sick, the beginings of dread and icey fear curling around him. It was as they had always feared. You were turning. Not just Anakin, you were going to the dark aswell.
"No. No! Thea dont do this! Dont follow him down this road" obi-wan pleaded lowering his saber shaking his head at you, hopeing, praying you will stop before its to late.
You widened your stance before casting a look over your shoulder to Anakin. As silly as it was you were uncomfortable with him behinde you. He was clearly stressed, angered beyond the point of reasoning. Your eyes locked with his and he frowned. He was trying to figure out if you were an ally in this or not. You nodded subtly to him.
"Youll be okay Anakin. I'll help you with your wounds i promise just... just sit tight okay?" You said glancing at the burns on his side, the bionic prostetic was fucked, the metal and carbon melted and twisted, his fingers all stuck in odd angles and fused as if he had cramp. It was probably where the caseing was melted and shrunk pressing on the components below. It was completely useless now.
Your gaze lifted with a wince the top of his arm and shoulder was almost steaming from the way the intense heat that had caught it. His skin was blitering, torn and sagging away from his actual muscles and tendons. He was sitting down at an odd angle, his arm jutted away from his body, avoiding the same agonising blisters and open wonuds on his arm that also decorated one side of his chest, down his ribs and abdomen.
He only uttered your name in response. Hissing as he shifted trying to inch closer. His eyes told you all you needed to know. He was relieved you were here, thankfull you saved him. Yet determined, angry. He wanted to kill obi-wan you could sense it. See it in him. He was frustrated because he knew how close he'd come to failing. How close he'd been to death. Yet he still wanted to fight. But he also knew he couldnt take on obi-wan again in this state.
"Thea Move!" Obi-wan demanded angrily drawing your attention away from Anakin. You growled locking your shoulders and tensing, anticipating a strike from the jedi master.
"Move Thea please, dont make me do this" you scoffed keeping your eyes on him as he poised his saber for another attack. Both of you prepared to do what must be done.
"Im not making you do anything, your doing it all on your own. Leave obi-wan. Its over, the orders dead. Just... just go" you hissed feeling the irritation grow with obi-wan. He couldnt see it! He was blinded by faith in an order that never was.
"You know i cant do that i cant walk away from this" the jedi master pleade, as if tryingnto make it seem as if his hands were truley tied. And that right there was the problem. The jedi order did this to people. Took away choices, forced decision onto people claiming it was for the greater good. When in actual fact it was just to protect the orders values. They belived that there was no other way, all other veiws were immoral. It was almost amusing the amount of hypocrisy the order spewed, the absolutes they enforced despite only sith deal in absolutes.
"Yes you can, just go. While you still can. I dont want to kill you but i will." Your words were almost pleading, yet too harsh to be considered as such. You needed him to just walk away.
"Youll really do this? Really stand by him? After what he has done! Join his madness?!" You winced as he tried to manipulate you, twisting the knife in the still raw open wound. Dredgeing up the worst atrocities Anakin had just commited to try and sway you. Did you agree with the younglings slaughter? No. Your not a monster. But whats done is done, and you knew Anakin would regret that untill the day he died. When he dropped out of what ever manic fury he was in the younglings will haunt him forever. Thats his burden, his punishment, his guilt to bare. Not yours.
"Yes. I wont abandon him when he needs me. I wont let him suffer alone. Not again" you called out louder then intended, you heard Anakins faint gasp as you confirmed your intentions. You felt his force signature lift from behinde you. Perking up with a warmth you knew to be his own relief and joy. He was happy you werent going to turn on him.
"You.. you love him. All this time you've been in love with him. Youll be sith fall into the darkside for him? This is why we dont love! This is the reason!" Obi-wan's words were small at first, doubtfull and confused. But quickly became frustrated accusations. You met his gaze and drew a breath choosing not to respond which made the jedi master snarl in frustration.
You had to look away from him, casting your eyes back to Anakin who had been torn between watching the scene before him and trying to ease his pain with deep breaths and force healing, that he wasnt exactly the best at.
But Anakin had heard, you wished he hadnt but he had. Looking up with a startled face, locking eyes with you questioning if it was true with a single gaze. You tore your eyes from him, fightened of what youd see in the next few moments. You didnt want him to know, didnt want him to see how far you had fallen. You were ashamed, your love was forbidden. But you loved your best friend, your comrade, brother. You loved a man who belonged to another. And it ate you alive.
"Dont you see? Dont you both see love feeds the darkness! It pushes jedi untill we are irrational and we fall untill we are sith;" Obi-wan began another rant, desperately trying to turn things around and scold you both into an epiphany. As if you both would suddenly stop holding people dear and your love would dissappear.
Obi-wans words seemed to be the final straw, he had found your tipping point. Scolding you like a child about pride and responsibility when he himself couldnt even admit the order had fucked up. That they had been cruel and negligent.
"I am not a jedi! I am not a sith! I am a fucking human being obi-wan. A free, thinking, feeling, angry, tired human being who has had just about enough of the orders propegander cultist shit!" Your scream echoed in the valley so loud it rendered the roar of mustafar almost silent in comparison. A small amount of your force rippled around you shifting the sand and rocks about your feet. Your rage had come to a boil, the darkness within you flickering awake. But you refused to stamp it out, refused to deny it this time.
"Thea.." the jedi master stepped back lowering his saber in shock as your aura darkened before him finally releasing what felt like a lifetime of pent up rage and fear. The fury and down right evil radiating from you was enough for him to rethink this battle. You were glorious and frightening to behold.
"Your right. Your right I love Anakin! I love you! I love padme and ahsoka and stars forbid i even hold a love for my master!" You continued shouting, loosing yourself in the truth of your own emotion. Welcoming the anger and frustration for the first time in your life. Finally, finally letting yourself drown in it.
"But i also hate. I hate master yoda for not listening to me when i sought reassurance, instead of helping me he gave me riddles and kept me silent. I hate that i was never allowed to question anything, i hate that i was expected to give up so much for so little. That my life would become meaningless just because i could use the force; it fucking condemned me! Condemned all of us!" Your words spewed like venom they were acidic on your tongue so much so you had to spit them out to so they wouldnt poison you further.
"I hate that i have become a fucking gaurd dog of the elite! That i spend my days protecting crooked senators instead of helping the civilians i vowed to protect and i loath; no detest the order and its stupid fucking rules, rules that were created out of fear" you clenched your saber tight in your fist untill the ridges of the hilt threatened to cut into your skin. You shook, quivered dragging sharp breaths through your teeth as your own words resounded around you. The fear, hate, shame and guilt youd always felt releasing at once in once torrent of regret.
"You dont know what your saying;"
"Yes i do! i said it and i meant it i hate the order. Hate it Obi-wan! And im fucking relived that this is the end of it because its needed to fucking die for years!" You shut him down quickly with a snarl, inching forward as another more powerful wave of your now tainted force escaped in yet another blast towards him despite you trying to hold it back. It was impossible, the air around you was charged with it. Crackling and twisting in an invisible violent display of power.
You closed your eyes pulling yourself back from what ever edge you were teetering on. Trying to calm yourself and draw some deep breaths. You didnt want to loose control, not like this but... but you didnt want to lie to yourself anymore or pretend. You were a human, you were entitled to feel your feelings.
Obi-wan watched in horror as your saber rattled in your hand, shuddering violently in your grip for a few long seconds untill it faltered. He felt sick to his stomach as the blade transformed before his eyes. Red seeped from the hilt, consuming the purple of your blade with greed. It was over, there was no coming back from that. Your kyber had absorbed the hate and malice. He coudlnt pull you from the dark side now. You were lost.
Even Anakin was shocked never seeing such a thing happen before. He knew how it happened but never once thought youd bleed your crystal. You were always so controlled and carefull with your saber and handling your kyber. Perhaps this was why? You were close to the dark and it wouldnt have taken much to slip and fall. What shocked him the most was that you hadnt even realised what youd done. Was it was so natural for you to feel this rage that you didnt even notice it properly? You didnt cast a second thought to what might happen to your kyber?
You began speaking again, this time clamer. But still on the cusp of pure unadulterated rage. The frightening female rage that could stop a man in his tracks with a single 'no' still oblivious to the new red hue of your blade.
"Between the hate, love and frustration most of all i am sick. Sick and tired of this galaxy and everyone in it trying to contain those gifted with the force. Just because the force chose us to wield it; doesnt mean we have to be fucking soldiers or pawns or or slaves to someone elses doctrines" you explained revealing just what you thought the jedi truley were. Slaves.
You heard Anakin from behind you, repeating the word gently in a strange disbelief. As if he himself had never associated the two. But you felt the realisation. The moment his own anger spiked before knosediving into a deep depressed disappointment. He had replaced slavery for slavery. And he'd never even noticed.
"You.. you have been straying? these? Thea how long has this...." obi-wan summarised, not even angry at you. How could he be? This was the orders failing. For a moment you thought you could see understanding. That he accepted the order hadnt just failed to understand and protect Anakin, but you aswell. How many others? How many jedi hated the order and were just too scared to sya it? How many people had stayed silent just so they could remain with their loved ones and not be exiled?
"Longer than him. As long as i can remember I..." your words trailed off. Once again shame and doubt cluding you. This was difficult, for the first timemyou were being honest with yourself, with obi-wan and Anakin. It was daunting letting everything out like this, feeling true emotions willingly. Youd been trained not to, itgoes against everything youve been brought up to belive.
"Thea? Why did you never say anything?" Anakin called from behind you finally managing to stand and breath through the pain, all be it unsteady and lopsided, his uninjured arms curled below his burned one.
"I couldnt. I never wanted to admit it... anakin you? Had your own doubts if I'd said something? I didnt want anyone to know my real thoughts. Or influence you." You uttered slowly still coming down from your rage, inching yourself back into a calmer state of mind. Somehow your outburst had stopped the raging war between the jedi master and Knight.
Or maybe obi-wan wasnt attacking because he knew itd be useless. A master jedi would struggle taking on one dark side user, let alone two. It was clear both you and Anakin had embraced your afinty for the dark side to certain degrees. You were both unpredictable now and obi-wan probably wouldnt best you both.
You tried to ingor the flutter of pride, you made a jedi master question his own strength and resolve. It wasnt a stretch to say he might even fear battleing you now youd begun your decent into the so called darker aspects of the force
"There is only the force and it is grey. It is balance, but it is power and we all use it to gain victory. The force is blameless and we are all manipulators. Thats it. Nothing else you either use it or you dont. Everything in the force can be used for good or evil." Anakin hummed pondering the words in a very un-anakin like way. He never seemed one for deep thinking or philosophical nonsense. But he seemed to be taking in your points weighing them up against one another.
"Dont you see obi-wan we twisted it, us. We made it what it is and use the force as an excuse to control one another. And if you force me to choose between slavery in the light and freedom in the dark?" You turned from Anakin and began pleading for your friend and teacher to understand your point. He had to, even if he didnt like it or agree you had to make him know of your reasoning. That you werent ust an evil woman driven by a need for power and vengeance.
"I choose the dark, just like Anakin. And honestly i chose it long ago... i was just scared of loosing what was most important to me. Scared to break the chains" you glanced to Anakin again unable to keep your self from checking on him. You were worried, concered and anxious to see if he was angry or disgusted by the way you felt about him. But he didnt give any indication, he was lost innhis own thoughts and didnt seem to aware of what was going on in that moment.
But then again he was probably overwhelmed. In the last few hours he'd betrayed the jedi, stormed the temple, slaughtered the younglings and jedi, almost killed padme and his unborn, fought his master, almost been burned alive and then had to deal with your hidden feelings coming to light.
"Thea please;" obi-wan tried again holding out his hand to you, trying to offer you a path back into whats left of the jedi. And it felt like the final attempt. He looked conflicted and exhausted.
You shook your head and stepped back as if he was trying to poison you. And in a way he was, he wanted to draw you into something youd only just managed to truely escape. He was still a slave he just couldnt see it. You pitied him in a way. He was too far gone and would never ever be free.
"No. I wont warn you again kenobi. You need to Leave now. And do not seek us out again" your voice didnt waver. You didnt flinch or stutter. Though the strength was just a mask. Inside you were crumbling, it shouldnt have come to this. The order should have just faded away like all relics of the past. But the jedi were greedy in their own way, stubborn. They refused to change, belived there was no need to ever compromise and for that hubris they had paid dearly.
Obi-wan didnt say anything, what could he say as you severed every connection you had with him. Every familiarity gone in a instant. He flicked his gaze from you to anakin and back again before disengaging his lightsaber and backed away. And then he was gone, falling out of sight behind the dunes.
You stayed alert until, you saw the ship take off and felt you and anakin were alone. Only then did you finally disengage your own saber and relax, collapsing to your knees taking a moment to come to terms with what had just happened. You were out. Free, free to feel and love and hate, free to decide whats best for you, live on your own terms with your own beliefs.
Tears began streaming down your face. This wasnt what you thought itd be, wasnt what you feared. Where was the shame? The terror and guilt? You were supposed to be lost and alone now. But all you felt was relief and strong. You felt peace yet a chaos, powerfull. You felt bold. It was everythingnyou were told it wasnt. You heard anakin shuffle behind you and then a gruntal moan as he fell heavily to the floor next to you. That snapped you out of your trance, you can reorder your feelings later, for now he needed you.
"Fuck, fuck are you okay? Here lets get away from all this lava, come on up here, let me see." You began quickly assessing him while trying to usher him futher up the bank. He swore under his breath pushing at you hands as you tired to support him. It was slow going but you managed to help half drag him higher moving him away from the rushing lava river that nearly killed him.
"Hey talk to me..." your voice grew quiet as the silence dragged on becoming uncomfortable and tense. But he just stared at you, yellow eyes burning into you trying to figure something out. Like you were a puzzle for him to pull apart.
"You... saved me from the lava... you pulled me free before....and protected me. You chose to stay?" He finally spoke confusion lacing his words. For a moment you thought he was going into some pain induced delirium or shock syndrom. He was both questioning you and doubting himself. Yet at the same time reaffirming what had happened.
"Yes. I did... Are you okay? Anakin your scaring me;" you confirmed before trying to find out if he was feeling like himself. You needed to lnow if he was going to turn and attack you or not. You had to be ready, he may have dropped his saber but youd seen what he'd done to padme without it. You didnt want to be the next one on his list.
"Anakin is dead." He snarled, sharp and furious. It was manic he was desperate to distance himself from who he once was. You drew a breath nodding to him, raising your hands slowly in a surrendering motion as you felt his force swirl around him erratically smothering you in a thickening cloak of raw power.
"W-who has taken his place?" You tried not to fear the answer, fear him. But he was glareing at you so intensely it almost physically hurt.
"Vader. Darth vader." You flinched, swallowing dryly. So it was true, he wasnt just becoming a dark jedi, but a sith. A true sith apprentice, one day a sith lord like the old tales. But you managed to take it in your stride simply nodding along with him.
"And what is darth vader going to do? I-is he; are you going kill me? Now that obi-wan is gone and the jedi are being eradicated" with that he relaxed. The acceptance soothed him, his rage receded as if he understood you werent going to argue or harm him. You felt an overwhelming sadness at that. He was so defensive and vulnerable yet youd never noticed before. He didnt reply the silence was deafening, you could only assume the worse.
"It okay vader... its okay of you need to; just at least let me help fix you up first alright?" You reassured him holding back tears. You knew this was a possibility. Knew he might kill you anyway to truly set himself free of the order. And you were willing to do that for him, to die for him to release himself from the shackles of the order.
"Thank stars its your right at least you wont lose another hand, well youll need a new prostetic and your shoulders fucked for now but we can;" you continued babbling trying not to think as you began healing him slowly, carfully letting your force flow through you to at least sooth his pain. He stared the whole time gazing almost blankly at you. Not evern hissing or flinching as you worked over the burns.
"Were you telling the truth?" His voice carried a vulnerable lilt to it. Like a child asking a parent if they were truly forgiven after being naughty. It was a small voice one youd never heard him use before. You stopped what you were doing and sat straighter giving him your undivided attention, yet it was you who felt like you were under a microscope.
"Is what you said true? About the order... the dark. Your feelings... your love?" He struggled to voice the words aloud but had to. And just like he had to ask you knew you had to answer.
"Yes. I havent ever truly cared for the order, but i did fear them. I stayed because i had people i was afraid of losing" you looked down still feeling shame. It was so ingrained into you that everything you thought and felt was wrong you could'nt help but be nervous revealing it so intimately.
"But eventually you have to be true to yourself and accept it. Even if it means getting yourself killed. If thats the case I'll die free and honest" you summarised tryingnto let him know you understood and you were at peace with your impending demise, especially if that ps what he needed.
"And your love? Was that a truth you had to face? The thing you couldnt lose...The person you were afraid of losing?" He asked again this time more desperate. He raised a hand to yours, clasping your wrist tightly and pulling it from his wounds. You closed your eyes sighing.
"Im here arent I?" You chuckled nervously motioning around you. Trying to deflect and make him assume what he wanted to save yourself the embarrassment. But he shook his head a growling at you in frustration, irritated at your refusal to answer him directly.
"No. Thea I need to hear you say it. I need to know the truth. Tell me." His frustration rose and his grip grew tighter making you wince. Your eyes searched his, pleading for him to let this go. Whats the point in pouring your heart out to him now?
His gaze was stern, brows pinched and jaw set firm, twitching in anger as the seconds slowly ticked away in silence as you continued your staring match. Finally you gave in looking away afterall you didnt have to look at him to bare your soul to him.
"Say what? That ive been madly inlove with you since i was a child? That i didnt understand what it was untill it was too late? That i adore you? That i always pushed myself harder and harder just so i could keep up with you and we wouldn't be separated? So i could be there if you ever needed me? That i could be strong enough to save you if you needed it?" You managed to wokr up the courage to look at him and gently twisted your hand from his grip and raised one slowly to his face. Cupping his jaw softly. He closed his eyes pressing into your palm, twisting slightly nuzzling into you enjoying the soft comfort.
"Yes. Yes to all the above. I love you and it has always terrified me like nothing else in the world. I was told so many times by my master by yoda and everyone who noticed that i was wrong. That it was dangerous and itd destroy me but i didnt care. I love you An-Vader;" you stopped yourself short and pulled away from him before you broke down. You felt like your chest was in a vice, being crushed. Your stomach was churning unsettled by the mix of fear and warmth you were feeling. It felt unnatural to just be human and experience your own emotions without resisting.
Vader followed your hand unconsciouly before capturing himself. Frowning in disappointment as the soothing touch fell away from him. He let you retreat knowing you you needed to distance yourself to get this off your chest once and for all. He was prepared for tears, and frustration and cursing. But he wasnt ready for the dark turn your words took.
"Fuck i even pulled clovis aside and threatened to skin him alive when he started to interfere; and i wasnt bluffing i was going to do it. I had a plan on how i was going to get away with it too. i scared him and myself. i couldnt find it in myself to be jealous of padme or resent her becasue i just wanted you to be happy. And if her love made you happy that was enough for me" your words pulled your force,making it thrum once more igniting under the surface with an eager malice as you remebered the fear. The promise you made to clovis as he trembled at the thoughts you were pushing into him. Youd gone too far that day. You knew you had, forcing him to see his own torture in his minds eye. It wasnt the jedi way. Youd avoided him after that. Not wanting to relive it, far too frightend of your own commitment to your threat. Youd have done it. Youd do anything for Anakin.
"She didnt, she never actually;" Vader began speaking searching for the words to explain himself. As much as he didnt want to belive it he knew there was only one explination for padme's refusal. He wasnt enough. His love and devotion wasnt enough to keep her by his side. He trembled, lip quivering as he turned to look you in the eye and finally with a shaky breath he admitted outloud what you both knew to be true.
"She has betrayed me. She wouldnt come with me y/n. In the end she didnt want me enough. I did everything for her. All this for her and she abandoned me her love wasnt enough to stand by me." He broke down, he didnt understand. Didnt want to, the pain was too much. He had sacrificed everything for her survival. And he sees now it was in vain. He'd been living a lie for her and she didnt see what it had done. What she had cost him. What he was willing to pay for her to be safely by his side.
You inched closer as he crumbled, mouring his love. His loss, his failure. It cut you, twisted cold knives in your gut. How? How could she have done this? Didnt she see what there marriage had cost them? Cost Anakin. No. How could she? Padme was free, she had nothing to lose. To her she had a powerful, respected ,handsome husband who she could have exciting secret couplings with when ever she wished. She got to run around in her own exciting forbbiden romance reality.
Yet Anakin could have lost everything he had worked for . All his years of blood sweat and tears would have been for nothing. He'd have lost his home,family, freinds, job his entire world would have crumbled around him if he'd been caught. And in the end he gave it all up willingly, falling from grace so thoroughly just to save her life. And it wasnt enough.
"But you didnt run... you didnt abandon me..your feelings are real, they have to be" you were pulled out of your thoughts by him grasping you, his hand coming to your cheek. You gasped as he pushed forward fingers trailing down to your jaw thumb lightly, ghosting your lower lip and then with a languid twist his fingers rose once more to settle on your cheek again.
Its was like he was mapping out your features. Fascinated and in awe. You blinked at him speechless from the delicate feather light touches. He'd never done anything like this before. His eyes became haunting as the yellow shrunk giving way to his puplis that grew wider. It was like he were seeing you for the first time, releasing the tight grip on his own restraint. Just as you were about to break the silence he spoke again, this time softer.
"You... you just threw away everything for me. Risked everything to protect me, just as i did for her. You truly love me. More then the others; more then my own wife. Im sorry, sweet angel im so so sorry i never saw it before." He apologised slidingmhis hand to cup the back of your neck and tipped forward pressing his own forehead to yours.
"I will not forsake you as she has done me. Do you hear me? I will not, i swear to you Thea. Come with me. Join me" the vow caught you off gaurd. This was something you only dreamt of. A fantasy youd kept in secret. He closed his eyes arching up pressing a kiss to your head inching closer and pulled you to rest on his collar bone. His arm now dropping to coil around you as best as they could with the damage done to his prostetic. You leant into him letting yourself curl into him, closing as much space as you could between the two of you.
"Join me? Please? We can... we can build something. Be something greater than what we were designed to be. Make an empire that will bring peace, that will punish the wicked greed festering in the galaxy" you shuddered feeling a sob bubble up. The guilt and elation both clashing in an overwhelming storm of emotion youd never been allowed to experience before. Tears began flowing once more as you tried to latch onto something familiar, something comforting. But there was nothing, it was all brand new and frightening.
"But what about Padme? Arent you going to try and convince her again? Or sidious? He will kill me im not strong enough to join him he'd never;" your words were mumbled, sentences torn apart by weak sobs and soft sniffles. You were desperately trying to find some stability, some comfort in all the chaos. And you were most comfortable when denying yourself everything youd ever truly wanted.
"Padme is not my concern any longer. Its time i stopped kidding myself, she showed where her loyalties lie. She was willing to let me; the so called love of her life, her husband, the father to her child; die at the hands of obi-wan becuase i chose another more powerful path" You shook your head disagreeing in mumbled hlf sobs weeping into him still unable to really understand what he was saying, you heard the words but it didnt register. You didnt want to risk believing them incase this was a trick, a ruse to ruin you completely.
"You were not. You who has been by my side, and loved me in secret. You stood up against obi-wan to protect me, thats the loyalty and courage a true wife should have. I will not ignore that sacrifice" he said louder, a grit to his voice determination and authority pouring from him. He wanted you to listen. To truly listen and see this for what it was. This was the defining moment of both your lives. The moment you both truly found oneanother and began walking the same path, marching towards a future that would give the both of you everything youd ever wanted and needed.
He honestly belived that both of you had been drifting through this life, mearly exsisting waiting for this moment where the force finally unites you both. He could feel it now, see clearly for the first time in years. The sleepless nights, doubts and fear of his own desires and marriage came to an end and al. He knew was that this was where he had meant to be. Here with you standing on the dawn of a new era for the galaxy.
"Sidious will not harm you. I will not allow that. You are loyal to me. You are mine. And i will fight to,protect you as you have fought for me today." His words poured, hands grasping you tighter as you cried still weakly holding onto the past. Your own doubt and fear clouding your resolve. He hated it. The way you crumbled so completely into him, you were strong. Always so strong but here and now you were lost and overwhelmed. It was down to him to pull you through. To guide you back and show you your place amongst all the changes.
"But im a jedi; vader dont... dont toy with me. I know you need to kill me and its okay. Its okay, im ready. I knew; you dont have to;"
"You are no longer a jedi. Look. Your saber...see?" He cut you off quickly, a snarl. Then he let out a breath before tipping his head to your saber and explained gently. You frowned at him before leaning to the saber youd discarded beside the both of you as you slumped to the ash. With a quick look to Vader you ignighted your saber only to yelp and drop it as soon as the red glow shone from the hilt.
"Oh... oh stars what?" You blreathed out fear and shame flushing through you. Vader moved bringing the saber between you both again ingiteing it again needing you to face the reality of your new predicament.
"You bled it Thea. Somehow while your kyber was still sat inside your saber. I haven't even managed to bleed mine yet. But you? It seemes you have been much closer to the dark side than me for a while" he hummed flicking his gaze from your awe struck face and the now red saber. It was odd seeing one so close without being attacked. It was raw, powerful. He could feel the rage and distress from within it, he knew he was feeling your own discontent through the hilt. But at the same time there was almost a relief? You were at peace with the red kyber. There was an understanding. He could only assume youd been fighting it for a long time.
"I think that is what made obi-wan retreat. He realised you were serious and willing to do what ever it took. That you meant every word and if he had stayed he would be fighting a powerful woman with no jedi rules to follow" he pondered outloud still watching you trying to decipher your thoughts. He could see how this was a moral dilemma. You seemed to return to him from the shock and gave a half smile taking the saber from him with a lightly nod and clipped it to your belt.
"He feared for his life and ran" he smirked as you scoffed at that rolling your eyes at him. He released a breath he didnt realise he'd been holding as you seemed to have gatherd yourself together with an odd acceptance.
"Once i have gained the knowledge i need i will end sidious and We shall rule. You and me Thea. The jedi order and all those who stand in our way will fall;that is if you want to join me? Become the force wielder you were born to be" he ducked down following your eyes as they dipped away from him, his uninjured hand tipping your chip up once more. You flicked your eyes to his, the amber was almost golden and shone with a sincere pleading. He was being honest.
"Become the woman you were meant to be. Im asking you take this final step with me please. Come with me, serve me, stand beside me; where you belong take your place along side me and rule. Will you help me make them all pay?" You swallowed whimpering quietly lowering your eyes to your saber resting in your lap and then locked eyes with him again. What was there to lose now? You had nothing now. Nothing but the freedom to choose.
"Yes of course i will. Id do anything for you" you managed to speak through the thickening lump in your throat, managing to push through the emotional whirlwind that encased the two of you.
"And i you. Perhaps it is not too late for us, maybe we can both finally break our chains and find the true love we have always craved"
"Dont say things like that, you love padme and that wont change. And thats okay Vader." you grunted into him still weakly trying to deny what had just happened. Still convinced that Vader was lost in his own feelings and hurt by his wife. Refusing his love for her out of spite.
"You love many people, why would you think im any different. I have always held you close to my heart. I do love you, i thought i loved padme more. But... I was young and foolish, you were jedi and untouchable she wasnt. I loved you enought o never risk you, yet i didnt do the same with her. Maybe i was wrong?" He sighed pondering hos own reasoning and short comings. Maybe he should have giving things more thought before jumping the gun the way he had. He would admit after his marriage hed been torn, happy to have a slice of normality but felt an uncomfortable pain when he'd watched your face drop at the news.
"Fuck anakin really must be dead. He's never been wrong before" you laughed slapping at him playfully. He grunted pushing you back making you fall back into the ash calling you a brat.
"Oh thank god theres still some sass in there, for a second there i though vader was going to be a boring old fart" you both chuckled at that and for a second there was nothing else. No responsibilities, no betrayal no jedi of sith. It was just the two of you chuckling at your own antics as youd done so many times a children. Before everything real and pure had been stolen away and twisted for someone elses gains.
"Come. We should go he isnt patient" vader spoke glancing up the ridge as he felt Sidious approach looking down the bank to the both of you. He stood with a grunt dragging you up beside him with useing the force. You gasped lightly at the way his life force acquainted itself with you in a new familiarity. It was forbidden to use the force this way, touching carelessly could cause unbreakable force bonds, your own life forces could mingle and become reliant on one another. It was almost seen as rude and obscene to let your force touch someone else outside of healing and battle.
You eyed him flushing but said noting, instead shyly opened yourself up to him as you both began to climb up the bank towards sidious. You felt unsure as you followed vader, but you trusted him. Sidious might not have wanted you but... would he real1ly deny another corrupted jedi? Your answer came as you approuched him, he peered around vader to you and his face lit up into a sinister grin. He nodded eyes glinting with glee, it would seem he was pleased with his two for one deal.
"Come, let's get both of your injuries tended to and then we can discuss our next objectives" you relaxed visibly at that before letting Sidious lead you both away. You weren't sure what was going to come next, and selfishly you didn't care. All you knew was for the first time in your life, you'd made the choice. And you will stay beside Vader for along as he allowed you to. You will not turn your back on him. Not now, not ever.
#oh for fic sake fics#anakin x reader#darth vader x reader#darth vader imagine#darth vader x you#anakin skywalker imagine
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https://youtu.be/CkBWIG3L5ME?si=Rp5oSaQxXibIKb_Y
otter-wan taking care of otterkin, making sure he gets plenty of healthy rich milk to grow big and strong.
Omg that’s so cute!
Anakin needs all the help he can get, he’s probably didnt have the best nutrition on Tattooine. No shade to Shmi at all, women did a hell of a job on a planet that hardly has water or vegetables.
(As far as I know, I should really look into how people in dessert communities really live. Later ❤️ )
Then the Jedi temple has to be very intimidating to a child, yes the Jedi are welcoming and eager to have Anakin.
But have you seen these younglings, they are so proper and speak with that accent. They don’t have emotions like Anakin does? Anakin needs comfort, needs nourishment and wants to bond with Obi-Wan.
Being a Stewjoni male, a people who are determined to prosper and multiply but pure spite. Obi-Wan’s body took one look at a very upset Anakin? His body began to produce milk and take care for Anakin to the best of his abilities.
Took about two weeks before Obi-Wan’s body produced milk, he has always been heavy chested for a Stewjoni male but damn.
Tits swollen and engorged with simply the best milk in the galaxy.
(Besides Naboo Queen milk I imagine)
Obi-Wan approaches Anakin about nursing. Reassuring the boy that he’s not a baby, that his body simply wanted to help Anakin and if he wasn’t interested that was just fine.
He hardly finished his sentence as Anakin lightly tugged at the brown robes shyly. It took a few tries, both unsure how to do this but found the right position and latch.
That’s when Obi-Wan and Anakin really became master and padawan.
Okay I know that’s a long ramble but it’s fun to think about!
#star wars#obikin#obi wan kenobi#my writing#anakin skywalker#answered asks#asks#Tw male lactation#tw Stewjoni biology#Stewjoni biology#otter-wan#otter-kin
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HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW AHSOKA EPISODE IM SCREAMING
I HAVE and this is honestly the first week i've been actually invested in watching the next ep omg!!! they're doing interesting stuff!!
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT OMG. first of all i have to say the late great ray stevenson/ baylan is absolutely the highlight of the show acting & character wise, there's so much depth he's putting into the character somehow like every line he says i'm shoving sabine and ahsoka aside like this is my new fave sorry lesbians. biggest cuntserve of the show
HOWEVER COMMA THE REASON I'M SO INVESTED IS BC IT'S SUCH A GREAT WRITING CHOICE TO HAVE SABINE GIVE INTO HER ATTACHMENTS AND JOIN THE THRAWN STANS TO GET EZRA BACK. YES!!! SHE WOULD!!! she isn't ready to let go of her attachments!!! she won't do as ahsoka says!! fuckin anakincore of her!!! willing to raze the galaxy for the last few parts of her family!! LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES
Also I think the direction was a lot better? I'm shit at clocking how good fight scene direction is but there were a lot of scenes that just felt so much stronger than the prev eps? like when sabine puts the ball in baylan's hand they made you FEEL the weight of that moment with the pacing and camera and the sound design.
ACTUALLY THO THE FIGHT SCENES WERE A LOT BETTER THIS EP partly bc there was just. More to them? i liked how ahsoka dealt w marrok in 2 seconds basically indiana jones shooting the sword guy style bc that made the baylan/ahsoka fight SO MUCH MORE IMPACTFUL bc she's seriously trying and she's flipping and doing all this crazy stuff that makes you go shittttt these guys are super great jedi -- AND ALL WHILE trying to get the map so it wasnt just a "we're fighting bc we're fighting/ to not die" there was a very feasible objective on-hand to make the already great fight even better
and of course i have to talk abt That. i was poggin beyond belief when hayden showed up like LETS GOOOOOOO. and its super cool!!!!! but i do hope they do smthn interesting with this tho (I HAVE FAITH IN THIS SHOW AFTER THIS WEEK SO I'M HOPEFUL) and actually explore ahsoka and the super fuckedup complicated relationship she has w anakin/vader instead of going "ah its so nice to see you again!! im gonna ignore you murdered children and all our friends and tried to kill me etc etc bc people want to see us as friends!" like no i dont want that!! this should be her opportunity to work w the trauma they keep hinting at but not rlly exploring (ie w her taking on forceless sabine as a padawan or how she keeps acting like all that happened was she walked away from anakin and he didnt fall. it could be good writing for trauma) and have ahsoka like... accept the past accept what her master became and MAKE ME INVESTED IN THIS ITERATION OF THE CHARACTER. BC THERE HAS BEEN LIKE NO CHARACTER MOMENTS AND IT'S NOT HELPED BY THE ACTING/ WRITING!!
also did ezra yoinking her outta the world between worlds give her nine lives is she just gonna be able to walk out after dying again
#ahsoka spoilers#thanks for the ask!#IM ACTUALLY HYPED FOR NEXT WEEK FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE IT STARTED#tho it says dave filoni is the director again and the first ep had like. Bad direction/editing loll so im less hyped for that
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I know a lot of people have a lot of feelings about the tusken massacre scene with the whole 'omg anakin skywalker killed everyone the women and children too'
and go he's horrible he killed innocents and im like. yeah that line of thought is valid.
but also
Anakin being tormented about his mother's death, finding her and thinking he's in time, realising he's not - that there's no way to save his mother dont you see she's dying please- she cant even finish telling him she loves him, she's been brutalised in every way possible for a whole month, only her hope to see him keeping her alive. and in that moment, his helplessnes, her torture and death, the rage and anger at the tuskens because gods they didnt even make it quick they tortured her why did they do this why didn't they stop? the entire camp? why did none of them let her go
i dont begrudge him that entire situation. people can talk all they want about moral high grounds; no sane person would do that; he shouldn't have killed them all but c'mon. that situation was fucked up and down right horrifying and yeah he fucked up but i can see how he got to where he did and why he did what he did in that situation
#i dunno#i just feel like#of course he blew up in a high pressure situation like that#anakin skywalker#ah#shmi's death makes me sad#and anakin killing the tuskens kinda gives me a justified feeling but also a sad feeling#justified cus revenge for his mom#sad cus he shouldn't have to go through that#moonbeam thoughts#star wars why you do this man
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