#Always fun to Speak about experiences and thoughts

[inawickedlittletown]

Decided to rewatch S8 and I made it to 8x06.

Ugh. This episode.

This is the first time I'm rewatching it since it aired and I couldn't make myself rewatch it before, but I'm watching it now and gah the writing.

Under a cut because this got long...

I'm not even too bothered by the anniversary dinner. The woman approaching them is whatever in the long run...Buck is awkward but it's very Buck to be like that so that doesn't bother me. Tommy's reaction to it also not a problem. Buck acting like he doesn't know his boyfriend is gay? Writers WTF. This is the type of conversation that would be normal a few dates in not 6 months in. It's actually very reminiscent of stuff from their first date.

It's the way they didn't know how to bring up Abby and so gave us this convoluted way to bring it about and it's very clear to me on a rewatch that they're trying to make sure the casual heterosexual audience understands things. Like they want to reestablish that we know for sure that Tommy is gay and Buck is still attracted to women but also lets not use the word bisexual. And oh the shock value of it because take out the Abby of it all and the break up still works the same way...they did the Abby thing just for the hell of it.

It's bad writing.

The next thing that makes me cringe is Buck's scene with Maddie and Josh. In the past we've seen Maddie listen to Buck and maybe poke fun at him a little but always in a kind way and then she gives him advice.

Maddie in this scene is acting so strange (actually Maddie this whole episode is not acting quite herself). I know some people have an issue with Josh's speech about Glee but tbh I don't think it's that bad and I didn't the first time I watched it. I think he has good motives in saying it. My issue is with Maddie.

Her joke about Abby turning men gay, the way she explains to Josh that Buck slept with Tommy's fiance changing the facts entirely just to mess with Buck, the way that she just very clearly thinks Buck is being dramatic and ridiculous. She just doesn't take Buck seriously at all and when Buck calls her out on it she turns it around on him because as she says she doesn't think there's a problem. But it's not about if there is a problem with them having both dated Abby, it's how Buck feels about it that he needs advice on.

Josh for all that I do think he is helpful, he also does not know Tommy and shouldn't speak to what Tommy experienced. Buck voices his concerns that he thought he knew who Tommy was but now he's finding out that Tommy lied and hurt Abby and it's thrown him because he's having to meld those two versions of Tommy.

Buck doesn't think that Tommy will do the same to him and Tommy doesn't. He doesn't lie to Buck or string him along. He's actually very honest with him and that honesty contributes to the break up. Yet another way in which we see that Tommy has changed from who he used to be.

The thing is that Josh doesn't know Tommy and admits as much but he gives Buck some broad thing about glee and what the world was like before it and after but he's basing it on his own experiences and the queer experience is not a shared trauma...and he puts in Buck's mind that he can't judge Tommy and also that he should thank him. Buck clearly internalizes this. He also I think it suddenly forced to think about what he wants from a future with Tommy and he jumps at wanting to live with him.

Now onto the actual break up.

The whole scene is actually good. They're cute together and silly and flirty and even after the Abby thing is revealed to Tommy nothing has fallen apart. It's all kinda good and their conversation is actually great. When Buck says he admires him, Tommy seems to like that...or at least he takes it how Buck intends it.

This is where it falls apart. And considering I refused to watch this again until now I didn't really think about it like this until now.

Yes I think Tommy had his eyes opened a little bit with everything Buck said...but Tommy also could have ended the conversation at the point where Buck tells him he admires him and they could have gone to the movies and just continued their date night. Why? Because Tommy already sorta knows this and it's what's he's expected from it...he already knows this is Buck's first relationship with a man and that as such Buck must feel some gratitude for what Tommy has given him and he's clearly in his mind already decided that it will end eventually because as he tells Buck first is not last (Tommy, who hurt you?).

But then Buck asks Tommy to move in. And Tommy can't.

It's one thing for him to date the baby bi guy...for him to get feelings for him that maybe go deep but that are manageable. He can handle that...but moving in together? For Buck to dangle that to him and offer him a future when Tommy doesn't expect that Buck will be able to deliver it? That's where Tommy just can't because he knows it will hurt when they break up...but if they live together and form deeper attachments and routines and they become intrinsically a part of each other's lives in a home they share then that's not heartbreak he's prepared to face. It's heartbreak he knows he won't survive.

I actually don't see the break up as bad writing. Everything else surrounding it absolutely is, but that scene is heartbreaking because they both want the same exact thing but Buck couldn't reassure Tommy that he really did want for them to be together...he didn't even tell him he loved him...and Tommy needs more from Buck to be secure in thinking that in this instance first could also be the last.

I think we learn so much about Tommy in this episode and I wish we had been able to dive in deeper.

This episode still hurts. Tommy's face when he says "Buck" hurts. The way Buck is left behind hurts.

The writing is a mixed bag of bad with some alright moments. It also leaves so much open. I remember that night being optimistic because it is so clearly a storyline left open to be continued. Some interviews turned that optimism right around but without that there is no real reason for any of us to think that this is finished.

Do I think it was a bad idea to break them up? Absolutely. Do I think there are other forms of tension for them to explore? Yes. Do I think they will manage to give this story and Buck and Tommy a happier ending? I have no idea, but I hope so.

Buck himself calls his relationship with Tommy the most transformative since Abby. He misses Tommy so much he spends the next couple of episodes baking and wanting to reach out. We also know that Tommy wants to reach back out too. These are indications that it isn't over and I just hope that they stick to being a little cliche and following the romcom trope right through to the end where they get back together.

I guess that's where I am going into 8b. Hopeful, but not holding my breath and well aware that fanfic exists and so much of the scenarios we want for our blorbos will only ever be possible there. Oh, and I'll be shipping Buck with Tommy because that is definitely not changing no matter what the show does.

[accio-victuuri]

xiao zhan interview with ELLE’s editorial director backstage @ tod’s milan fashion week transcript:

full video source

🧔‍♂️: I am very happy that I met Xiao Zhan backstage in Milan. Actually, I have always been following Xiao Zhan. Of course, ELLE has a very good relationship with Xiao Zhan, but it was actually the first time I met Xiao Zhan in person.

XZ: We were talking to each other’s staff and then heard each other’s stories.

🧔‍♂️: I didn’t expect that he is more handsome in person than on camera and very gentle. I think the clothes you wore today are also very elegant. What was were your thoughts when you chose these clothes to watch the show?

XZ: Today's outfit is from TOD'S 2025 Fall/Winter Men's Collection. This coat is a style from Pashmy's collection. It's paired with a short jacket and a sweater inside, so it makes the layers richer. It's decorated with a belt with a T-shaped buckle, and of course the most classic loafers, so it looks low-key and steady, but also has a sense of design and layering.

🧔‍♂️: Loafers are a similar style they promote every year. I like them a lot. I have several pairs. Your look today is particularly intellectual, which is the same as a feature of Milan. I think many people you see on the streets of Milan hold books and dress very elegantly, so I like it a lot. So I like your look today a lot.

Today's show is actually a lot about handicrafts! In fact, we saw Carla Bruni outside. She was actually performing .

XZ: I think that is just like an art exhibit

🧔‍♂️: Because Carla Bruni, as everyone knows, was once the first lady of France and a supermodel. Then I think she stood very high and her skirt was very heavy and dragged on the ground. I was like wow, this is really an amazing one. I think she has to maintain that posture. I think her professionalism is very impressive

XZ: So when I first walked in, I thought it was a sculpture exhibit, but I didn't expect it was a real person, standing on it. Then I heard that her skirt was also handmade and sewn, and it was very craftsmanlike, just like TOD'S.

🧔‍♂️: What else did you see in this show? For example, what do you think (you like)

XZ: You and I saw a long coat that I really like. It is dark, but it has a gray and black color, and they are layered together. I think both women and men can wear it. It is very cool.

🧔‍♂️: I also think that I saw a lot of things related to handicrafts in today's show, such as its bags, clutches, and its classic style, the bag that is always held, including the shape of its clothes. I feel that it is back to some classic works of the golden age.

XZ: Speaking of classics, I have to mention their T-shaped buckle. The T-shaped label seems to have been running through all their designs, whether I see it on bags, shoes, or even some clothes. Including belts, and including some of their accessories, so it is quite cool.

🧔‍♂️: Then there is a small accessory that I am attracted to today. Many models are wearing a necklace.

XZ: Then the necklace is a hand. I seem to see a body. It seems different.

🧔‍♂️: It is all black with a small gold embellishment. And I actually saw you this year because this year is the 25 early spring series and spring and summer series. You are in the global advertisement.

XZ: I am very lucky to be able to participate.

🧔‍♂️: A place I have always wanted to go but I haven’t been there yet is Sicily. I am so envious. You were already in Sicily at that time. Do you think it is fun to go out and play?

XZ: I was very lucky to be able to go to Sicily through this cooperation. In my heart, it has the golden coast and the Italian sunshine, which is very full of Italian romantic style. Then, there, I met our very Italian TOD'S, a very Italian style TOD'S, so I think this is a wonderful experience.

🧔‍♂️: Actually, two years ago, TOD'S published a very large album, which I also received. It was called Italian Life and Italian Way. I remember the sunshine.

XZ: And the waves were very..

🧔‍♂️: You feel very Italian and full of this kind of literary and artistic temperament. What are your plans this year? What do you think you must achieve this year?

XZ: This year, I probably plan to film well. If there is a challenge, I have actually said it many times that I want to go skydiving. If I can do this challenge in such a beautiful environment in Italy, I think it is quite interesting.

🧔‍♂️: When I was young, I went bungee jumping.

XZ: But now there is skydiving, which I haven't done yet.

🧔‍♂️: But after I finished bungee jumping, I thought it would cure my fear of heights. Because I have a fear of heights. When I was young, I felt that I must go bungee jumping.

XZ: where you pushed down by someone?

🧔‍♂️: I took the initiative to jump down, but I became more and more afraid of heights.Instead of being cured, I became more and more afraid of heights.

XZ: It is more likely that the feeling of weightlessness will make you feel very uneasy.

the last part is the interviewer thanking xz and expressing his hope that he will be a cover of ELLE magazine again:

because this year is ELLE's 80th anniversary, i really hope that xiao zhan will be in (the cover of) this year's magazine and continue to cooperate with us. ❤️

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Lol! Hole-y! XD

Puns are always fun!

While I can understand that... I dunno, I guess that there's just... something... about a small congregation all singing together from the hymnal, where it's mostly just our voices with maybe one or two instruments that just feels... right...

With the big churches & the projectors & stuff, I've noticed that it feels more like a performance. And while, yes, the congregation gets to sing there, too. It feels like the band is the focus.

But when it's a little church with a wooden podium. When the ladies there feel free to smile at you & joke with you & give you gifts for your graduation because they're proud of you. When you feel safe asking questions of the pastor because yeah, he's a bit hard of hearing, but he's welcoming & loves God so much & legitimately wants to help.

When the pastor doesn't only preach the fire & brimstone, but also the overwhelming love that God has for us.

In this way, it's more evenly balanced & more honest, which in my experience, is more honest than if it's nothing but fire & brimstone or nothing but all the love.

When it's small & cozy. I guess that it all just feels more personal.

Now, I'm not saying that I dislike the music in those mega churches, but I guess that I just feel like... something gets inadvertently lost.

But then, maybe that's just my personal preference? When I'd gone to a couple of the bigger churches, I guess that it all just came across as too theatrical. It felt like it lost a bit of its soul.

So because of personal experiences with the Christian religion and churches, I get very bad anxiety attacks being inside of church. The only thing that calms me while inside of one, is music.

I adore hymns and songs sang from choirs or the people of the church, and I adore music sang from instruments and bands. I will agree that small churches provide less anxiety to me, less people, feels like less judgement, its more cozy.

IN MY OPINION (This isn't a universal experience I know) There are not enough small churches in my opinion, and that the large churches do not provide the actual *something* of a religious experience. While I have felt a sensation of something in a small church I once went to with a friend, I have never felt it in a more commercial church. I fully agree that the community of a smaller church makes it a home and brings people together.

(Of course, not all small churches are like this. I know some are corrupt like the big ones, judgement because its a small town or the pastor believes more brimstone than forgiveness. To those who deal with those sorts of churches, I am so sorry you have to do so. I hope those who do follow the Christian faith find a church perfect for you and your style of worship!)

If you don't mind me asking, Relig Anon, how many churches did you go through until you found the one that spoke to you? Were you raised in the church or did you have to hunt to peck?

To clarify to any reading: I am an Omnist. Omnism is the belief in all religions. I also claim to be an Agnostic Omnist, because I have no truths nor facts of which are real/fake/lied about/stretched/etc so I give my belief and respect to all of them. I was raised Nondenominational Christian, then went through the stages of Atheist, Agnostic, Wiccan, Pagan, Agnostic, Omnist, to my now claimed stage of Agnostic Omnist. I love to learn about all religions and experiences, and though I do not go to a Church or Temple myself, I do love to hear about them.

[crescentfool]

i love ryomina

no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.

it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.

ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.

minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.

the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.

minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.

it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.

november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.

it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.

how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.

ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.

he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.

SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.

and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!

so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.

messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!

even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.

march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.

and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.

p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.

ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!!  god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!

i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙

[baejax-the-great]

I think some of the arguments about fan interpretations of characters and OOCness forget a fundamental part of human nature which is this: each of us perceives the world and the people in it in slightly different ways based on our own experiences.

Most people have certain characteristics they consider fundamental to their Blorbo and some characteristics that are less important and could be changed, ignored, or scrapped for AU purposes. Unfortunately, which specific characteristics fall into which category are not going to be the same from person to person. Sometimes the overlap between two people's interpretations will be huge, and those two people will probably enjoy the same fan content. Sometimes not so much.

Personally, I write for a ship that were childhood friends that became lovers. In many AUs, people have them meeting for the first time in adulthood, and for me, that changes the nature of the ship and their characters so much that I can't really get into it. I consider their childhood friendship fundamental to them as people, and those authors don't. Which is fine. Many other people like those AUs. Nobody here is really in the wrong, we just have different opinions on what makes these particular Blorbos them.

In almost all cases, someone out there will find your interpretation of a character OOC. And that's fine. Hopefully they are polite and simply choose not to read your fics/engage with your HCs/whatever. But I think all of us have had the experience of reading a wildly OOC take and seeing other people enthusiastically going along with this "wrong" interpretation of the characters and thinking, "What??!?!"

It's fine. It's normal. It's annoying as hell (people are wrong on the internet), but it's inevitable. And if you find that interpretation particularly heinous to your Blorbo sensibilities, the block button is your friend.

[samantitaswrld]

deadpool!

….as your boyfriend.

description: deadpool as your boyfriend!

pairing: deadpool x you!

contains: 18+, mentions of sex!

|an: just saw deadpool & wolverine.. couldn’t help myself.

- awful with emotions but always finds a way to make up for things whether through humor or sex.

- speaking of humor you’re never not laughing with him, or bickering, or fucking

- you’re the only person he can actually feel vulnerable and comfortable with, he cherishes that and he loves you so much for that.

- you’re his person, he would genuinely kill for you if it meant he would lose someone so important in his life.

- if someone makes you sad, mad or uncomfortable ooo…not his babygirl.

- he usually doesn’t keep people or friends in his loop often, they could find him annoying or over the top but not you.

- you love absolutely everything about him, his outlandish humor, his extroverted personality, his big ol’ mouth. you think it’s so hot.

- so hot when he’s mean to you so hot when he’s soft with you

- you literally bicker like two teenage girls all the time and he always somehow clocks your tea it’s ridiculous but you also find it impressive that he always has something to say that you cannot come back from😭

- god you need to pray that no man ever even has the thought of coming on to you… he’ll experience some banter with your boyfriend before it’s lights out.

- not only are you his but he’s yours! he’s super loyal and if he can’t get someone to back off , you sure will!

- you’re always having fun with him date nights are some of the best times of your life, he always finds a way to entertain you no matter what you’re doing.

- always gotta hand somewhere, your ass, a singular cheek, a titty, somewhere. how could you expect him not to! you’re all his.

- you literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d do absolutely anything for you.

- also always bullying you he is so straightforward😭

“hon that has got to be the ugliest shirt i’ve ever seen on you”

“wade-“

“i know you got better in that closet that i snoop through and try on all your clothes when you aren’t home now go!”

- he’s so tall so if you’re short oh wow…you’re never catching a break

“soooo how’s the weather down there.” wade said, placing his elbow on the crown of your head.

“prick…”

…

“yeah that’s enough of that dirty mouth!” your boyfriend had announced before bending down and wrapping an arm around your behind, throwing you over his shoulder and positioning his palm on your ass.

“god, wade put me down!” you’d laughed playfully hitting his back.

“don’t make me have to spank you!” he said, lighting pinching your ass.

- do not get an animal bc it will quickly become his center of attention and he will defend it over you.

“wade, we’re having my mom over please put it in the room”

“ugh…she’s so mean isn’t she sugar?” he’d said stroking your pet, followed by a “yes she is yes she is!” as the animal licked his face.

sigh.

- good lord we got a cuddle monster on our hands!

- absolutely adores any type of affection and practically begs you for it 24/7. he loves being little spoon specifically. also loves it when u scratch or message his back, bc that also gets him going..

- speaking of, you got this guy rock solid 24/7

“hungry for seconds?” he joked, hugging you from behind and pressing his hardened cock against your ass.

“we literally jus-“ you’d started just to be interrupted mid sentence.

“so! cmon baby throw a dog a bone.” he muttered, hand already gripping your inner thigh.

you’d sighed, god you can’t resist him.

- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing he finds anything you do hot i stg

- a M-U-N-C-H! for life, literally came in his pants from eating you out once! he loves making you feel good.

- a goofball during sex he cannot do shit seriously😭 he be talking you and your pussy thru it!

- again, if you’re petite god help you bc he is large.

- babe, you better match his freak because yall doing anything.

- trying a new thing every night multiple times bc that sex is never vanilla and that dick is never tired! at some point he’s just making positions up😭

[moineauz]

જ⁀ 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 , various !

synopsis: his voice lines about you as his beloved partner

including: veritas, jing yuan, blade

side comments: dw i promise i'm working on the house of musica requests... i just wanted to do this for fun! also this is the first time I've written for jing yuan which is kinda funny. i liked writing for blade again. originally i had welt and aventurine in the mix but i wanted to post this hahaha.

extra: gn reader, angsty and fluffy moments, mentions of marriage, aventurine jumpscare later favourites: blade word count: roughly 2,085+

𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎

WHO ARE THEY? I "So you're asking about my significant other? Are you shocked that I have a significant other? At the very least consider your question."

FIRST MEETINGS? "I met Professor ( Name ) when they barged into my lecture, they said they were 'lost'. Since then we had several heated debates academically. Have I lost in these debates? Several times yes, consequently making debating with them all the more... interesting. Especially considering that Professor ( Name ) has a well-rounded vault of knowledge in most subjects of academic and social relevance. Finally, a conversation worth my time.

GREETINGS? "Professor ( Name ) considers a good greeting the highest attribute. A curt smile and a cup of coffee suffice, thankfully they know when to remain silent. However, there are instances when they will talk relentlessly. Initially, I used my headpiece around them. Nevertheless, their conversations do occasionally convey subtle insightfulness and definite meaning. Gradually I have come to share some liking towards their rather pleasant 'small talk'."

PARTINGS? "A small kiss on the cheek: be it on my skin or the headpiece, that is all. However, I... have always preferred it on the skin."

ABOUT US: ART "Outside of ( Name's ) academic career, they share a peculiar fondness for art. Be it painting or sculptures they could very well get lost in a museum. When they discovered my fondness for sculptures and anatomy, they were... oddly quiet; tracing their hands over my sculptures- or my face to be exact. ( Name's ) admiration is always shown in silence, one of the greatest forms of praise.

ABOUT US: TRUE APPEARANCES "I have questioned how ( Name ) has perceived our relationship. Considering that we are both colleagues, it can lead to speculation amongst other *sighs* inappropriate comments. Hence, I prefer to keep our relationship known only to those who need to. I believe them to be devout and... undoubtedly caring. I hope my attitude towards them conveys a similar message.

CHAT: WORK "Although we teach different subjects, we occasionally mark or review the work of our students. You may call it a 'second opinion'. Thus, their opinion is one that I trust."

CHAT: SERVICE "( Name's ) actions can initially appear simple-minded. However, underneath simplicity, lies thoughtfulness beyond comparison in both work... and at our residence.

PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "Film is not an art I deliberately take part in or seek out for leisure. However, ( Name ) was quite adamant and passionate about film. Thus, we've watched a myriad amount of films and TV shows together, both acclaimed and disdained. I have my own varying opinions. I must admit, after a long bath, a film in bed is quite soothing. Considering that ( Name ) similarly enjoys the pleasure of a bath, our nighttime routine is undoubtedly satisfying."

ARGUMENTS: "One must always think before they speak for there is a price to pay. ( Name's ) silence is decisive, deliberate and painful; burning right through your chest. Debates are loud, quarrels are bitterly silent."

SOMETHING TO SHARE: "Solitude is the greatest gift to civilization and self: introspection enlarges the expanse of the mind. However, the pursuit of knowledge is not only found in discovery and text. It is through experience alone. I have found much knowledge in solitude and an equal amount through genuine companionship. Hence, I share my deepest revere. "

WHO ARE THEY? II "My lover. That is who they are to me and all you need to know."

EXTRA: AVENTURINE'S OPINION "I met Ratio's lover when I visited for business matters. But, all that went out of the door! I saw a lovely individual by his desk and thought, 'Who is this?' Ratio never, and I mean never, allows anyone to screw his desk up. Yet, here they were, seated at the edge of his desk toying with his stupid chalk greeting me with a bright smile. We immediately hit off. I suppose Ratio does have some luck in him, but then again, ( Name ) was the one who first asked him out. Less to do with luck, and more to do with destiny. In my opinion, destiny is not something I fully believe in, however, when I watch Ratio and ( Name ), it's difficult to imagine a universe where they aren't together."

𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐔𝐀𝐍

WHO ARE THEY? I "You are looking for Commander ( Name )? Sadly they're on a business trip, however, I'd be happy to answer in their place."

FIRST MEETINGS? "( Name ) is an interesting soul. I've heard of their praised skills in combat and decisive thinking. Many assume I met them on the battlefield. Yet, I met them over a coincidental cup of tea."

GREETINGS? “I find it amusing how our everyday greetings have evolved. At first it was a salute. However, I find that a kiss on the cheek is a much more efficient way of greeting and brightening up the mundane tasks *sighs* of work.”

PARTINGS? “Why bid farewell when one hasn’t said hello? Partings have always been bitter. Yet, I find comfort in knowing that all things lead back from whence they came.”

ABOUT US: AGE “Time for long life species is fickle and plainly slow. Despite that, ( Name ) has constantly made time— less daunting and more fun. ( Name’s ) life span… is a touch shorter than that of myself. Hence, they have brought forth a new value in every passing year to which I cherish. This year I plan on doing something special for their birthday— though, don’t tell them that.”

ABOUT US: SILENCE "As much as ( Name ) glows in social settings, they equally enjoy stillness, if not more. There never is any obligation to fill the void when we're together. It is as natural of an act as breathing.

CHAT: PRODUCTIVITY "( Name ) likes to be on task. I, however, don't always find leisure in such activities. ( Name ) quote, 'holds me accountable'. Of course, there are moments in which I can distract them."

CHAT: FELINES "They are quite fond of Mimi. Unfortunately, Mimi is rather... aggressive when around ( Name ) and has been for a considerable amount of time. One time ( Name ) was attempting to bargain with Mimi for her favour. *Chuckles* What a sight.

PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "Master Diviner Fu Xuan would frown upon it... but I suppose napping on the Seat of Divine Foresight is considered a 'pastime' when done regularly enough."

ARGUMENTS: "I do not attempt to quell the frustrations of my dearest. It is not often they disclose them to me and it does pain me to be the cause of their anger. Nevertheless, if it means the two of us will grow closer, then I will gladly offer myself to the brute force of my dearest. Of course, the swelling of regret still stains the heart."

SOMETHING TO SHARE: I've lived one life yet many all at once. Companions scattered amongst the universe and enemies whose names I've gradually forgotten. Yet, underneath the breath of my dearest, I'm simply a man in his spouse's embrace. Nothing else matters."

WHO ARE THEY? II "My most loving spouse."

EXTRA: FU XUAN'S OPINION "When Commander ( Name ) came into the Seat of Divine Foresight to help the General... he grew all the more 'lazy'. A part of me feels sympathetic towards Commander ( Name ), imagine having your own spouse bully you into doing your work? Alas, it's not my business to speak about their marital life. Besides, the two go hand in hand, like a puzzle piece clicking together. Both can do well without, but when joined together, they are a force to be reckoned with."

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐄

WHO ARE THEY? I "Their weapon may be thin, but it pierces holes even in the most... stubborn of enemies."

FIRST MEETINGS? "Elio's script is always followed. However, ( Name ) is a detail I did not anticipate or was foretold. My body met the tip of their spear before I saw their face."

GREETINGS? "Over time ( Name ) has grown close to the Stellaron Hunters- especially Kafka. Their presence is imminent despite not being a Stellaron Hunter themselves. ( Name ) smiles whenever we meet, it has always been more than enough."

PARTINGS? "My promised end will come, yet an absurd inkling of regret remains."

ABOUT US: THE BLADE "( Name ) believes the blade to be a form of art. They had said, 'The blade dances in air with undisturbed poise and precision, a kind of mercy not known to themselves.' I asked them why they chose a spear then. They replied, 'Because I could never dare replicate it's beauty.'"

ABOUT US: WOUNDS "( Name ) never wanted to be a traveller, rather, they opted to string fabrics together with a needle and thread. Perhaps that is where their skills come from."

CHAT: MIDNIGHT "The mara is like a ghost. Yet, ( Name ) is a fool. They embrace the ghost I can't seem to remember other than its bottomless spite and fear."

CHAT: SCARS "Their hands never 'keep to themselves'. ( Name ) prefers to trace their hands over surfaces and make shapes. They tend to draw stars... so many stars."

PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "When there are no missions, we sleep in silence. Under the guise of sleep and their warmth, immortality does not follow me."

ARGUMENTS: "When all is said and done, silence remains."

SOMTHING TO SHARE: "If there is life after death, then I wish to meet them in the same manner, again and again with that smile and spear."

WHO ARE THEY II? "The person who taught me how to breathe and pressed their lips against my skin."

EXTRA: KAFKA'S OPINION "Blade will never admit it. But, ( Name ) cares for Blade and Blade does too. The pair will never put a name to the push and pull between them. I caught Bladie once; staring out into the open universe searching for something with a spark of life that doesn't belong to a dead body. I wonder if ( Name ) put that there."

masterlist.

[satoruhour]

HIS FAVOURITE W— STUDENT !

a/n: dilly / @crysugu i am losing the pwp war i needed the lore to be in this HELP. anyway !!! professors bc i cannot stop my mind from spiralling while starting my university classes — im not entirely proud of this but eehhh ….

wc: 4k

warnings: ultimately semi-public sex for all, unprotected sex, cumshot, standing doggy, brief oral (m receiving), brief f! masturbation, brief fingering (gojo), geto is a professor who is also a camboy, camgirl!reader, f! and m! masturbation, mentions of bad dragon’s cumtubes, brief fingering, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink (geto), pussy slapping, spitting (on yo pussy), pet names, clit stimulation, oral / cunnilingus, tit play, fingering, implied f! masturbation (nanami), mentions of murder, stripper!reader, riding, degradation, calls you ‘slut’ and ‘whore’, calls you ‘mama’ once too, unprotected sex, oral (m receiving), deep-throating, slight face-fucking (toji), n*sfw under the cut

✶ GOJO

professor gojo was… an interesting teaching figure. he didn’t have a set way of doing lectures or tutorials, nor was his feedback on assignments entirely coherent, but he was fun and unorthodox. he was also hot as fuck, as you’ve heard from your friends, but you never really got the deal even after seeing his photo on the university website or from miles away entertaining some starstruck student. his classes were always left with no vacancies, too, only able to see what your friends meant after stepping foot first into the lecture.

you were a tad bit early, greeted with gojo sitting at the front with his legs propped up on the desk as he shot you a nonchalant greeting and you think maybe you should’ve signed up for another lecture group, but then he speaks and the air is knocked out of your chest. professor gojo is charismatic when he teaches about art, design and media, captivating everyone with the stark white hair and blue eyes, but he’s clever with his glances because you aren’t realising he stares at you more than anyone else.

aren’t you in your second year? how did he not see you anywhere last year? why did you just sign up? 

the smiles he gives you are sweeter than others, the words more sugar coated with lilts in his voice and you’re chastising yourself for not being any different from everyone else, soon turning into the girls who ask for extra tutoring sessions and sidling up to him on campus — at least you’d get the full experience.

“oh! sweetness, what are you doing here?” you’ve managed to get gojo just as he leaves his office, standing outside for quite some time thinking if you’d really want to do this. several lecturers and professors have already walked past asking if you needed anything, but no matter how much you wanted to say professor gojo’s name, it always turned into something like waiting for a friend.

“oh— uhm, professor gojo, just wondering if the grade for that major project is really set in stone?”

gojo makes a show of thinking, but you know you’re asking for the devil himself when he replies yes with a stifled grin and you’re asking if the two week period of appealing works for the major you’re in.

“you can submit other collaterals as an appeal but it might either boost your grade or bring it down,” the professor leans down with a sick smile on his face, because he’s had so many people outside just like this, nervous from his advances and yet not going through with what they thought they could do. but this time it’s you, the you who he imagined taking on his office desk or even in a lecture theatre for everyone to see, who wants the words to fall from your lips just so he could be your knight in shining armour.

“is there really no… other way to appeal?” you swallow when gojo switches the position and gets you in exactly where he wants you: your back facing his office, his face dangerously close to yours while his eyes slyly catching the way your thighs rub together.

gojo smirks to himself when you knock down yet another cup of stationery on his desk after “discussing” ways you could improve your grades, nails making unsatisfactory noises on the wooden desk while he can hear your cunt gush around him, made obvious from the squelch of your hole and he’s muttering praises into your neck from behind.

“this what you had in mind, baby?” just another girl in his roster, getting ruined just for a grade that wasn’t even that bad. what you didn’t know is that you were the only girl, getting professor gojo so hard in lectures and tutorial classes just from the sight of you that to finally have you — it’s a sweet reward. you shiver when his hand reaches to your front to rub at your clit and you’re grasping at nothing as moans leave your lips.

“y-yeah, professor—” gojo is filthy, lewd, lifting your leg to prop up on the desk just so he could get deeper in you, your pussy everything he imagined and more as he continues to fuck into you. you’re warmer than his hand, than some hookup’s mouth from the club, clenching around his cock so tightly his hips stutter.

“f-fuck, angel, tryna snap my dick off?” you let out an incredulous chuckle at that, hips moving back to meet his while the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass fill the room. your juices are coating his length so well, too, that gojo’s eyes lock on your cunt that sucks him in over and over again, the spread of your pussy lips just amplifying his moans. the other spreads your cheeks and sighs at the translucent ring of cum at the base of his cock, hips fucking up to hit your sweet spot that you’re cumming with a shock down your spine — so hard, so deep, so intense that you’re jolting from the orgasm with whimpers of his name. gojo never truly is done with you after pulling out to cum on your ass, however, and you aren’t either.

there’s a thrill that runs through his veins when you back him up onto the sofa, a glimmer in your eyes that suggest you’re as intoxicated on him as he is on you, a sultry gaze taking over your shyness from earlier before he’s pushed onto the cushions.

“thank you for the meal, professor,” you giggle and gojo swears he’s reached his death when your mouth first closes around his still sensitive tip and he whines loudly, hearing your fingers fill your drooling cunt as your hand squeezes out leftover cum from before. a hand runs through your hair and your cockdrunk face is enough for him to see white—

professor gojo thinks you look heavenly between his legs.

✶ GETO

you sigh echoes throughout your dorm room, ending the stream and collecting your keep for the day as you grimace at the mess you’ve made on your sheets. it’s not like it wasn’t pleasurable, but on some days you’re wondering how long you truly need to serve gross men on the internet for it to be enough to pay off your university fees. sure, there were a few attractive people who commented and tipped you, but that was the extent of it. it’s not long before you can only think about cleaning up and taking a big fat nap, but a video in the sidebar catches your attention.

it seemed like a casual stream — no script or planned storyline apart from a heavily tattooed arm taking up half the screen, his pelvis just slightly off the thumbnail. he was faceless, too, filming rather from the chest down which was also inked, something that sends a chill to your core.

it’s only later when you’re slipping your dildo back into you as you watch this stranger pump his cock, guttural groans and slick noises filling your airpods that you realise the dragon wrapping around his arm looks awfully familiar. you’re so blissed out by pleasure, focusing on the needy moans that the man lets out before he cums with a grunt, so much cum leaking out from him. you’ve reached your high too, but you have no time to admire the stranger because it seemed like he was in a hurry, but not before you’ve caught a glimpse of his lip ring.

you know why he looked so familiar, now, standing in front of him in his office while his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, something he doesn’t do often. geto suguru doesn’t wear his lip ring in lecturers either, and now you think you know why because they match the video you’ve seen just last night. you aren’t even entirely sure why you were called in, and you think maybe it’s because you “accidentally” sent a friend request, but you’re taken aback when he asks you if you’ve already selected a tutor to be your mentor throughout your major project.

“surprised? i sent out the email a week ago, love.” you try not to let the name get to you, and the confession lingers at the tip of your tongue.

“y-yeah! i saw it, professor geto, just—”

everyone was no stranger to professor geto’s striking looks, always turning heads with his unconventional gauges and long hair that probably should’ve landed him in a modelling agency in the first place. except, he’s opting instead to teach linguistics, a fitting major for him to talk of the history of language and its formation of it, even slipping in some latin and greek to show its origins but you can hardly listen when all you can focus on is the tight pull of his shirt around his body while his hair falls around his face and you think maybe it was a bad time to think if his hair falls out of his bun while he rails someone. you hope soon it’ll be you, just so you can confirm it for yourself with no other reason involved (you’re a fucking liar).

geto clears his throat and you swallow and the flex of his forearms only distract you further, the dragon on his arm seemingly laughing at your torment as it moves along his skin — the other doesn’t miss your dilemma, staring at you for your answer with a dark stare and enjoying the effect he had on you. your brain doesn’t respond fast enough, though, and you’re blurting out the first thing as you watch the curve of his mouth turn in either distaste or satisfaction; you weren’t sure.

“i saw you stream yesterday—” and you slap a hand over your mouth, wanting to run immediately, but you didn’t expect him to smile after a moment of recognition, making the connections to your account until his mouth falls open just a little.

“you’re the little cutie who sent me a request last night, aren’t ya?”

as he asks the question you hoped he wouldn’t ask, you find there’s nothing on your mind except maybe seeing his tattooed arms wrap around you — and you did. they looked so much better up close, leading from one thing to another in that stuffy office soon they’re looking especially good with how he’s currently dragging the tip of his cock along your folds, collecting your slick as you hold onto his biceps after confessing sin after sin about you from—

“i’ve jerked off to your videos.” a burn on your cheeks when geto sets you on his office table, palms leaving hot trails along your thighs and skin. he lets you play with his bulge, hands probably forming bruises on you from how you relieve the tension in his pants.

“the way your cunt wraps around that dildo — makes me wish i was there fuckin’ your pussy instead.” a gasp and a moan when he preps you with both fingers as he sucks hickeys into your neck and plays with your tits, pinching your nipple that has you clenching around him.

“didn’t miss how you like to be bred in your videos too. think maybe you need some real cum, princess,” geto’s button up shirt is pried open by now, trousers just barely pulled down below his hips because he has a lecture in about half n’ hour. though, he wanted your pussy all to himself and if 27 minutes was all he was granted, he was going to make full use of it. geto groans into your hair when your legs wrap around his middle and he’s reeling at how he’s been watching your videos for the longest time and yet, nothing compares to having you fall apart by his hands.

a quick glance to his watch tells him fifteen minutes, eyes flitting back to the squelch of your cunt around him and he smiles smugly at the whimpers he knows so well. he’s sure it’s imprinted on his brain by now but his dick still jumps at the many variations you’ve let out during the 27; he’d commit every single one to memory. “professor— s-shit!”

geto angles his hips up, the curve of his cock hitting that spot just right that your back arches and you let out a drawn out moan, “yes, baby?”

“w-wan’ your cum in me, suguru,” you’re pleading with a drunk little smile and your face is twisted into such pleasure he’s only seen through pixels that geto cums almost immediately with a pained laugh seeing the real thing, hips stilling as he fills you up, up, up to the brim with hot, white semen that geto feels embarrassed to climaxing so quickly. but what can he do? when his favourite camgirl and student asks to be bred, it’s only natural.

how could he possibly say no?

✶ NANAMI

“does that mean the poem is written from the cross’ perspective?” your hand shoots up in hopes of interpreting the text correctly, but also because, just maybe, that you wanted to impress a little someone at the front of the lecture theatre. beside you, you can hear the gasp of your friend along with the eyes of various other students. “sort of like— personification?”

nanami points to you with his glasses that he’s long removed, a small smile on his face. it’s not like you’re trying too hard, but of course you know your shit fairly well. you always have in every class, it was just a bonus you were so attractive that all nanami could think about was spreading your legs right on this desk. “yes, almost. anthropomorphism, something that was very common in poems or works written in old english.”

you were sceptical about professor nanami at first, especially since he was a lecturer who was transferred here from overseas only three months ago and is technically quarter of a white man, but he held command of the japanese language well enough for you to understand, both in speech and concepts. you were more interested in the lecturer himself though, piqued from the moment he explained his grandfather was danish and you turn to your friend, explains the blonde hair, doesn’t explain how he’s so insanely fine, giggling quietly to each other the first day.

as for your major, it was texts after story after poem, but you enjoyed it alongside giving your own input in class — something you knew would help your participation grades. you’ve raised your hand in more ways than one, always coming up at the end of lectures with a question, stopping him in hallways to show him the book you were currently reading. so that’s why you were confused when you were called to the front of the lecture theatre after everything’s over. it couldn’t be bad, right?

it wasn’t bad, it was much better, especially when nanami’s got your legs on either side of him on the lecture theatre desk while he takes his rightful place between your legs — somewhere he’s always longed to be. both the front and back doors are locked, with only your soft, muffled moans filling the room. but nanami has no shame, slurping up the juices that drip from your pussy loudly, possibly staining the desk below him. he’s cared before about the condensation of his drinks but when it comes to your sweet, sweet cunt? he doesn’t give one fuck.

“taste so good, sweetheart,” nanami moans wrapping a forearm around your thighs and just eats. he flicks his tongue over your clit, while the other hand goes up to squeeze at your tits, kneading and playing with them while you’re still at awe at the man on his knees, at how you’ve gotten one of the hottest professors in the university eating out of your pussy like it’s the last meal on earth.

you’re snapped out of your daze when nanami lands a few slaps onto your pussy, brown eyes boring holes into your skull. but this stare is different, as opposed to glaring down the mischievous boys who can’t stop making noise, this is…

“pay attention when i eat your little pussy, angel,” the demanding tone has you shivering, a small grin stifled when he nods in deserved approval and continues his assault. fingers slip in before you have time to react and your head is thrown back so hard it bumps against the wood but you don’t care, clamping down around his fingers. nanami’s pace is unforgiving, sucking hard on your clit while he pumps them in and out.

“feel good?” nanami asks through slurps as he catches your eye, licking one last stripe before gathering his saliva into a ball and he spits onto your clit, sight so lewd you clamp around his fingers. he admires how the way the glob of liquid runs down your cunt and mixes with your arousal that he can’t wait for it to be his cum instead.

“better than…” your voice trails off when he rubs in his spit, a thumb on your bud while he continues to move his fingers and your thighs are already trembling from how nanami knows all your sweet spots in such a short period of time. nanami simply chuckles at your sensitivity, meeting you halfway as you sit up to feel his lips against yours and he whispers against your lips—

“what were you gonna say, baby?”

you’re heaving for oxygen as he adds a third finger and you’re just hoping he’d show you his fucking dick already. hot breath fans across your lips and you smile to yourself seeing how your words affect him.

“better than fucking myself with my fingers thinkin’ it’s your cock, prof.”

✶ TOJI

it was nine in the morning, and toji could already feel a headache forming from the amount of absentees in his class, simply sighing before pulling up the details for today’s lecture, eyes unknowingly looking for you in the large lecture theatre. he finds that you’re already looking, clad in a cardigan and tired eyes — no doubt from trying to reach his deadline earlier than usual. toji found that you liked to do that, the first one to always submit your essays and assignments, so that’s why he knows what game you’re playing at when you’re asking the difference between first, second and third degree murder when you already know their definitions.

he would know — you got full marks the other time. 

“hm?” toji only hums when he sees your enthusiastic face and a quick look down to your lower half shows how your legs spread naturally for him. the professor only licks his lips before he spots your underwear, entertaining you for now as you stare on earnestly, while nothing is actually entering your brain. that’s okay, though, you’re smart.

toji can count on one hand the amount of times you manage to catch him off guard, but he didn’t expect both of those times to be on the same day. it was a busy night at the club, trailing behind professor gojo, bored, until the clock hits 11 and the shift changes, some dancers retiring for the night whilst others make their way out. they emerge with pumps and skimpy outfits, but toji still hasn’t found someone worth wasting his loaded bank account on until you’re stepping out in a corset and garters and toji whistles lowly, eyes travelling up your person unforgivingly before he hears a small gasp.

his curiosity is piqued at the small noise, only to be greeted with your widened eyes and taut muscles at having seen your professor at the strip club you work at, but with a clap from somewhere backstage your body moves naturally into a professional stance, and perhaps a little more sluttily than other days.

your professor was hot, of course you would work twice as hard, twisting your body around the pole while you show off your assets — things you were covering just this morning in professor toji’s lecture. he taught criminology, a minor that you were trying out in your second year of uni and if it didn’t work, you’d drop it, but no matter how much you complained about the class, the green eyes that bore into yours in lectures always seem to ask you to stay. you never really knew whether he was looking at you or not.

at least now, you’ll make him.

toji’s hands tightened around the wad of cash he planned to waste tonight, all put on hold just from watching the way you put your body on display. he wouldn’t have imagined seeing you tonight at the strip club he let gojo drag him to, but he’s almost glad he’s here when you seem to be only dancing for him, all focus on the other patrons lost.

your eyes are still locked with toji’s, reminding you of the times in the lecture theatre where green was all you could see, a smile creeping on your face when one of your girlfriends behind you whispers that the man with the black hair and tight shirt wants a private session with you.

that’s all it took before you feel toji’s hands on your ass later in the private room, pulling you to his front with a smirk. “what’s a sweet girl like you doin’ here?”

you roll your eyes as you feign annoyance. your heart was pounding along with the music, finally being able to feel his toned body from the front., “cut the crap, prof. you booked me for a reason. what, here to talk about my grades or something?”

“what? can’t see my favourite student?” you scoff with a small smile.

“and how did you know i work here?”

“i didn’t, but seeing you work that pole,” toji grins, landing a smack on your butt before grinding his very obvious, large bulge on you and he’s loving the way it seemed to stimulate your clit, “i need ya to show me what i’ve been missing, mama.”

toji groans later while you’ve got his cock in his mouth, on your knees in front of him while you’re fisting the places you can’t reach. you take most of him easily, feeling the tip of his length reach the back of your throat. there, your eyes flick up to him, doe eyed and pleading. it isn’t long before you feel his hips bucking into your mouth and the cute twitch of his cock in your mouth, moaning around him as you knead his thighs, dragging him closer with what little strength you had.

“dirty fuckin’ slut, huh?” toji mumbles out breathlessly, tightening his grip around your hair before you start bobbing your head again, a plethora of lewd noises alongside the slurp of your saliva and his pre-cum mixing only makes your panties wetter and sends your cunt clenching around nothing. “who knew my cutest student was such a whore?” your head reels at the degradation, sucking in your cheeks even more while you slobber over him. toji swears under his breath when your tongue sweeps over his tip, collecting his pre-cum.

“it’s s’big in my mouth, professor,” giggling, you bob your head faster as the other’s noises increase in volume, and he’s left to tap the side of your skull, causing you to tilt your head in question. the vibrations of your moans has him grinding into your mouth, shutting you up until he’s cumming down your throat with a loud groan. toji spills so much into your mouth that you have to swallow twice, pulling on your jaw as you show him the remnants of the cum still on your tongue.

“’m sure they have it somewhere in the conduct about professors not having sexual relations with a student,” toji chuckles when he sees you peel off your underwear, eagerly wrapping his arms around your waist. “or even something about cutting corners to get your grades up…” it’s a little soft, trailing off when he feels you drag his tip along your pussy and he’s mesmerised with how your dripping folds accommodate him easily.

you pout in dramatics, thighs tightening around his when you take inch after inch of him before you’re bottoming out. there’s a deep sigh coming from you before you’re moving your hips lazily, a certain slur to your words that already show you’re drunk on your professor’s cock and toji only smiles.

“yeah, but my grades are perfectly fine,” you whisper with a small whine when toji squeezes your ass, something he never thought he’d get a taste of.

“plus, we’re not in the classroom now, are we, professor?”

[yarnabee]

THE DOCTOR HEADCANNON — BEING HIS PLAYTHING.

harley sawyer ( the doctor ) x reader

tags/warnings: sfw (15+), light gore, torture/impact, power imbalance, degradation, abusive behaviour, posessive behaviour, kidnapping i suppose

sawyer is a HUGE jerk to everyone, including to his own little precious plaything, you. of course, such a cold, dense body made out of metal wouldn't make sense if it had a heart, wouldn't it?

besides.. your timid reactions to his sick, little experiments were what piqued his interest in the first place. what a lovely sight it is to see a flesh roaming around his prison like a helpess, pathetic rat who lost its way home. whether you writhe, yelp, whine, sob, or scream.. it's all melody to his ears.

he loves purposefully letting you escape from his lair, making you think that there's still hope to escape his hellish prison. just as you thought you were free of his grasp, he'll pin you, his beloved trophy, down—his mechanical figure hovering over you, eyes daunting as it pierces towards your cowardly ones, squeezing your neck tightly with his iron first, making sure that you knew there's no use fighting someone much stronger than you are. oh, how he loves watching the glint of hope fading from your pupils—dulling them with fear instead. he'd purposefully taunt you, mocking you with his laugh as it echoes through the hallways, "you really thought you could escape me, hmm? what an interesting thing you are, little rat."

oh, how he loves turning every single thing into a game that he knew you'd lose from the very beginning. it's amusing to see how you'd react time to time, whether you try to fight back or whimper out of fear, he feasts on it nonetheless. he'll purposefully make you play hide and seek with him, taunt you with his creaking footsteps, then having his way with you once he got his fingers wrapped tightly around you—dragging you into his lair once again as your fights and cries means nothing to him. "don't try to fight, little rat. i know you're at least smart enough to understand why."

don't get him wrong, though. just because he's able to leave cuts and bruises all over your delicate skin doesn't mean any of those filthy creatures roaming outside has the right to leave a scratch on you, not even a single one. oh, how sawyer wouldn't even think twice to rip appart the limbs off those past experiments who still roams in the area, who dares to touch you without any permission. you're his plaything, and only his. no one else.

the doctor wants you to DEPEND on him, just like how yarnaby depends on him and obeys him like a God. he wants your pathetic self to see him as YOUR lifeline, as he purposefully brings the necessities you need such as food and medicines, his mechanical joints placing them gently next to you without saying anything. afterall, he needs his little lab rat on good condition to play with, no?

at times where he's not running any 'experiments' and 'games' on you, he always kept you inside of his lab—no contact is allowed without his permission. he'd occassionally let yarnaby roam around and get used up to your presence, but he won't let you or it get too attached to each other.

he barely speaks to you, his answers are either mockery or straight degradation. you never really ask him anything about his motives too, he never liked it when you were curious. "say, little rat, i'd be amused if you hadn't learn what happens to curious little rats who gets too nosy."

a little fun fact; the doctor can easily destroy you if he wanted to. he always lets you know through his grips—how he's controlling it steadilly, letting you know that if he puts just the littlest more effort into squeezing you, you'd have your bones crushed within seconds—and he makes sure that you always remember that at all times.

"now, little rat, go on and amuse me. let's see what else i can get out off you."

[void-my-warranty]

Ghost in the Bedroom (18+)

Pairing: Simon Riley/Fem Reader/Johnny MacTavish Content Warnings: Voyeurism, PIV sex, Oral (f-recieving), masturbation, emotional hurt/comfort, she/her reader Word Count: 4.8k

Service Dog Johnny Part 9 (full part list here)

“Ready for another, y’think?”

“Okay.”

You huff a quick breath into Johnny’s neck while he works that second finger inside you. It aches, but not in the way of being stretched out too quickly, not at all. It’s that burn in your pelvis which screams you won’t last long when you finally get a different part of him in you. 

At this point you’re too worked up to do anything but roll your hips into his knuckles, mentally taking hold of that throbbing sensation and beginning to paint the picture of your upcoming orgasm by how it feels. It’s going to be thorough, licking fire through every inch of your body thanks to how much foreplay they’ve given you, and how long you’ve been anticipating this. 

Johnny uses his free hand to just barely tug on your nipple, and you make a little gasp at that dart of pleasure. 

“Is this sensitive?” he asks, doing it again. 

“Mhmm.” Everything feels sensitive and tingly right now. Every piece of your skin seems to want his hands on it — in varying degrees of roughness, although you’re pretty unlikely to get any of that tonight. 

He seems inclined to make you drag your own pussy up and down his fingers, so you oblige, straddling his thighs and keeping your face hidden in his neck. 

“What do you like?” Johnny prompts. 

You pull your face back to get a look at him. “What do you mean?” 

He pushes his fingers apart a little to stretch you, then curls them in deep. “Got nothing better to do than come over and have disgustin’ amounts of sex all week, so what do you like?”

You don’t do yourself the disservice of glancing towards Simon for permission. This isn’t about him, it’s about you. And besides, he already knows a lot of your kinks, because it was just one of many getting-to-know-you kinds of things that you talked about as the relationship became more serious. He’s always been interested in you, even the parts he can’t exactly experience firsthand. 

So you do tell Johnny a little bit about what you like - some things you know for sure, and a few others which you’ve never actually tried - speaking plainly enough that Simon can probably hear if he’s listening. It doesn’t seem horribly awkward to talk about, when Johnny was the one to ask, and he’s steadily curling his fingers inside you while you tell him. This is basically your golden opportunity to experiment sexually, so you’d have to be stupid not to take advantage of it. 

“Does any of that sound fun?” you probe nervously, when an entire two seconds of silence have elapsed since you finished talking. 

“Aye, I’m game for all of that.”

That’s exactly what you thought he’d say. That’s such a Johnny thing to say.

That warm ache in your pussy fades to nothing when his fingers retreat from you, reaching over to the side table to grab the condom he apparently put there.

“I’m actually on the pill now,” you tell him enthusiastically. Two weeks gave you a chance to get your affairs in order this time around.

“Ooh, brilliant.” His face lights up, but he still tears the condom open. “Maybe just this once, though. Can’t be makin’ a mess on your nice sofa.”

Oh.

Well, that’s… disappointing. You try not to let it bother you, because really, there���s no such thing as being too careful with contraception. But you really were quite happy to finally contribute something to this whole arrangement, besides a needy pussy and emotional baggage.

That disappointment remains hidden, though, tucked away deep down. You keep a pleasant expression on your face while Johnny gets ready for you, reminding yourself that getting pregnant by him would be incredibly inconvenient, and you desperately try to think about something besides your unjustifiably hurt feelings. 

The good thing is, there’s nothing like getting fucked when you need it to erase those stale thoughts. You finally get to sink down onto Johnny’s thick cock, and he prepped you so well that it’s nothing short of delicious from the very first inch. 

It’s exactly what you needed, and you don’t give a shit that it’s just regular sex. It’s unoriginal, plain vanilla fucking, but it’s you and Johnny and Simon. All in the same room, all breathing the same air and wanting the same thing for each other. You wrap your arms around this wonderful man’s neck, careful to avoid his sore shoulder, and you kiss him like you want him. Soft and sloppy, taking him into your body and letting him feel how much you enjoy having him close. 

You want him to be fucked and happy and cared for, and maybe for tonight you can give him two of those things. You can wander your fingers through his hair while you kiss him, make him feel like he deserves to have a warm body and a soft heart looking after him. He may be injured from top to bottom, but you can do this for him. You can let him relax under you while you use each other to feel good. There’s no power dynamic, just kisses and scruff and a warm pussy for someone who deserves it. 

Those invisible fingers of release wrap around you from the inside, and you can’t help but whine into his mouth while you chase it. 

“Shite.” His hand lands on your hip for a moment to slow your movements, making you groan in frustration. 

Just a little bit more, come on. You don’t need much. Look, you’ll just grind yourself on him for a minute while he calms down, just a tiny bit. You’re good, see? You’re almost there, and you’re being so good, so—

“Alright,” he finally allows with a deep exhale, sliding his thumb around to your pussy instead of keeping you locked down. 

Suddenly your clit is getting rubbed in a way you can’t escape. You make a muffled gasp into his mouth, your entire world narrowing to only what you’re feeling between your legs. Realistically it’s just in-and-out, rub-rub-rub, but physiologically it’s a steady trickle of dopamine, and a primed, blissed out nervous system. 

And then all of a sudden you’re just cumming. All you can process is that rolling flash of pleasure which feels so right. Your body is so willing and open to receiving every scrap of it, that for a moment it feels like you’ve entered your natural state of being. Sweet, floating pleasure, and tingly skin, and a strong hand on your hip grinding you deeper into it when you’re no longer able to do it on your own. 

Jesus, it’s good. 

You come back to awareness slowly, with your cheek pressed against Johnny’s, and his palm running up and down your back. You try to roll your hips a little, because you’re pretty sure he hasn’t cum yet and you’re here just selfishly resting.

“Still with us?” Johnny asks, his breaths coming faster than before. 

You pat his cheek with an open hand, rousing yourself to drag your eyes open and straighten up. “I’m great.”

You swear there’s a soft, second laugh coming from the other side of the couch, at your sprightly resurrection. 

You’re more than great. You’ve still got that burn in your thighs that tells you it’s going to happen again, so long as you keep getting fucked. Johnny still hasn’t finished, so you’re going to keep going, and you’re going to cum, and it’s going to be amazing.

That trembling in your legs is nothing when you need this so bad. Johnny has the most lovely, fucked-out expression on his face, kneading your ass with one hand and playing with your nipple in the other. You’re just his lap girl right now, naked and touchable for him. The way he’s looking at you under those thick lashes - with his head tilted back over the top of the couch, lazily watching you bounce on his cock - is just the hottest thing ever. It sends that roll of need through your belly again, making your breath catch in your throat while you come to terms with how you’re about to cum under his gaze like this.  

Instead, to your fucking despair, the worst thing happens. Johnny’s head flexes back and he starts panting, pushing you deep onto his cock. 

Shit, shit, you were so close. It’s no use, though. You weren’t quite able to get there, and he’s forcing you to stop moving, holding you in place and grinding up into you for the last few pulses of his release. 

Not fair, not fair, not fair. 

You do your best to act happy for him, stroking your hands up his neck while he shudders a little. He gave you a fucking good one just a minute ago, and it’s not realistic to expect that he’ll last forever, especially since you put your mouth on him earlier. This is just… life. Sometimes you don’t get what you want, and you have to accept that. 

It’s not until you drop yourself down to the couch beside him that it occurs to you that you could… it could possibly be an option to ask for more. With boyfriends in the past, you’ve typically hid the problem away and tried to find time to rub one out later in private. But everything is complicated with Simon here, and Johnny seems nice enough that maybe he’d be interested in continuing, even after he’s finished. Even though your mind is screaming at you how unsafe it is to ask for what you need, Johnny’s made it sound like it might be okay to do that. 

“Johnny?” you ask quietly, ignoring that overwhelming feeling of danger, of needing to escape. 

“Eh?” He’s just getting his first leg back into his jeans, huffing like he forgot his ankle hurts. 

“Do you… Do you think you could, um, finger me a little bit more? I’d like to try to cum again, if that’s okay.” 

Danger, suicide, humiliation. Why are you doing this to yourself?

Johnny smiles, lowering his eyes to your knees which are clamped tightly shut. “‘Course you can have some fingers. Askin’ so nicely, too.”

“Gets all polite when she’s wet,” Simon confides, his voice full of affection. 

You shoot him a look of feigned annoyance, but dutifully pull your knees up when Johnny gets down to the floor in front of you. 

You’re shivering a little, from the anticipation and the rollercoaster of ups and downs you just went through. And, okay, maybe you enjoy the way they talk about you to each other. Maybe you like it just a tiny bit. 

Johnny pushes your thighs a little wider, works two fingers inside you and gives you that first rolling tide of pleasure. “Are you a very good girl when you need to cum?”

Dammit. You definitely like that. It seems like a rhetorical question, so you just make a little sound in your throat and focus on the feel of his fingers, the way he’s putting pressure on all the best spots while he fucks them into you. 

Asking for this was so difficult that you’re replaying it in the back of your mind, still wondering if you’re being too much of a burden, and he’s just going along with it to avoid the awkwardness of turning you down.

Your eyes are fastened on Johnny lowering his head to your pussy, when Simon’s quiet rumble pokes through your thoughts.

“Quite easy to look after, this one.”

He says it right as Johnny begins to suck on your clit, so you have to blink through that flash of pleasure for a second in order to look over at your boyfriend.

Simon regards you with the side of his knuckle resting lazily against his mouth, elbow draped over the top of the couch. He seems happy, content to watch you receive exactly what you asked for. Maybe even a little proud, if you really care to read into his expression. 

“Just needs a little loving,” he says, keeping you suspended in the loveliness of his eyes, “and a little fucking sometimes. Easy.”

Johnny gives you his fingers a little harder, making your pussy flutter around them while you gasp softly. You can’t seem to pull your gaze away from Simon’s face, not when he’s looking at you like this. He doesn’t touch you, but you swear you can almost feel the warmth of his eyes as they slide over your flushed chest, your breasts, your trembling knees. 

Suddenly all you need in the entire world is just to cum like this. That rushing feeling is already bubbling up and threatening to overtake you, now that you’re positive you’re allowed to have this. You close your eyes and splay your fingers into Johnny’s hair, needing to connect with him in some way, needing to convey how thankful you are for this, even though you’re incapable of speech at the moment. 

You’re doing everything you can to keep yourself in place, but one of your legs seems to have a mind of its own when your pussy begins to seize up. Your heel kicks down to the carpet with that first flood of pleasure rolling over your skin. You’re vaguely aware of Johnny hooking his arm around your hip to keep you in place, anchored just enough to reality that you don’t pull too hard on his hair while your body feeds you a long taste of heaven. 

Someone’s hand is in your hair, sliding down to your cheek, taking advantage of your incapacitation to make contact with your skin while you cum. Multiple people’s hands on you, inside you, but you still feel safe. Your mind is blank and unbothered while the man between your legs brings you down with gentler movements of his fingers, slower sucks on your clit.

“Okay,” you whimper, pushing against Johnny’s forehead, “okay, alright.”

Yep, you’re demolished. Completely spent and limp, and still floating in a blurry haze of endorphins. 

“You can always have that, you know.” Johnny’s voice sounds nice, smoothing pleasantly across the void of your mind. “Any time I’m around, whenever you want.”

You finally drag your eyes open to watch him get to his feet, collecting his clothes from the floor. He grins at you, seeming entertained by whatever dumb look is still on your face. Yeah, okay. How about you make him cum one more time, and then you can compare your mental states. 

You feel awfully like a snail on the sidewalk when Simon reaches across to collect you, cuddling you into him and draping your legs over his lap. He wipes your hair off your sweaty forehead and neck, encouraging you to rest on him.

“I love you,” he whispers. You’re pretty sure Johnny just stepped away to clean up. 

“Love you too, baby,” you mumble back, wrapping your arm around his stomach. “I’m feeling so good right now.”

“Good.”

“How are you feeling?” you ask, as you usually do after this sort of thing. 

“Fucking good.”

“Fucking good?” you peer up at him, smiling. “I must have done a good job, huh?”

Shameless begging for praise.

His fingers skim your jaw. “I don’t think you know… sort of… seeing how brave you are with all this. How much it helps.” 

You’re absolutely not brave, but you’re not petty enough argue the point. You kiss him for a minute, as your mind comes back to reality and your body starts to feel more under your control. 

Simon pulls away from the kiss, nudging the bridge of his nose against your cheekbone. “Fancy going back to the bedroom with me for a bit?”

You blink for a moment in confusion, staring at the back of his neck. “Do… do you mean…”

“Won’t promise anything will come of it, just—“

“Yes,” you blurt enthusiastically. “Yes, of course.” 

You push yourself upright, suddenly experiencing a major second wind, and just absolutely ecstatic that things are apparently going so well tonight. You knew he was in a good mood, but for him to be feeling this good, that’s fucking incredible. 

Uncaring that you’re still naked and drippy, you get up and grab Simon’s hand to haul him to his feet. The last thing you want is for him to sit in an awkward moment that’ll make him second guess himself. He’s pushed you through your insecurities, and you can extend him the same compassion. 

On your way, you pass a fully dressed Johnny leaving the bathroom. Your mouth opens to explain the situation, but before you can, he meets your eyes and gives you a lazy, two finger salute. “Have fun.”

Wait. 

He knew. 

Simon’s hand on your waist keeps you walking, but your mind is whirling when you finally realize the significance of insisting on a condom. He wasn’t concerned with getting the fucking couch messy, he was avoiding getting you messy ahead of your time with Simon. 

The click of the door closing behind you has your thoughts instantly rushing back to reality. Your boyfriend pulls his shirt off while he nudges you closer to the bed, apparently not keen on wasting any time. 

“How do you want to do this?” you ask, sitting down once the backs of your legs hit mattress. 

He removes his jeans a little slower than the shirt, staring down at you in that way he does sometimes, where you can practically see the wheels of his thoughts turning. 

“I’m not sure how far I’ll be able to go.”

“No pressure,” you assure him. “Whatever you can think of that feels doable, let’s do that. And it won’t hurt my feelings if you need to stop.”

He leans down to give you a quick kiss while he gets the pants off his feet. God, now you almost wish Johnny hadn’t made you cum quite so good, so that this would be a little more sexual and a little less therapeutic. But Simon did it this way on purpose, and honestly, he’s probably right. Your horny brain doesn’t need to be getting in the way.

“Would you… do you think I could just.. possibly try…” he swallows, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably while he tries to overcome the walls in his head. He’s always had trouble communicating verbally when he’s at the edge of things like this.

You keep your eyes on his face, and your voice steady. “How about you get yourself where you want to be, and then I’ll come get where you want me? That thing in your head, that’s what we’re going to do, okay? You don’t have to explain it first.”

Simon takes a breath and nods. Holy shit, this is happening. 

You stay where you are while he climbs onto the bed, until he gets stretched out on his back and pats his chest. “On top.”

A heady thrill shoots through you, and you crawl over to him, unable to keep your breathing anywhere close to normal. Is he going to touch you? Does he want you to fuck him?

You swing your knee over his hips and let your pussy kiss his stomach with all your cum that’s still between your thighs. You hope he doesn’t mind it, that maybe he’d even appreciate experiencing your wetness like this for the first time. It’s not dirty, Johnny made sure of that. 

Simon seems to take you for your word that you’ll go where he wants. He hooks his arms under your knees and pulls you up his stomach until you’re practically sitting on his chest, pussy just a few inches from his chin.

“Can you breathe?” you whisper, nervous to have all your weight on his lungs like this. 

“Mhmm.”

Simon’s in the thick of it, you can see that in his eyes. He’s tunnel-visioned in on the objective, reaching those thick arms over your thighs to presumably pull himself out of his underwear. He releases a relieved breath at having some contact finally on what you can only imagine is an awfully achy bit between his legs. 

This is interesting. You can see why it occurred to him, having you sit here specifically. He can see your whole body and also your face, but you can’t see anything of what he’s doing behind your ass. 

To a casual observer, this might seem like a strange arrangement, but to you, this is everything. This is the direction he wants to go in, he wants to feel pleasure that you’re a part of. He wants your body to be touching him while he cums. He wants those trauma pathways to shift, for his nervous system to stop connecting all the wrong wires. He wants to be naked with you, and feel safe. 

“Can I have your hand?” you ask softly, once you’re certain he really is jacking off right now behind you. 

His eyebrows do a confused flick for a second, but he obediently stops moving and lifts his hand into the air in front of you, his fingers hesitantly curled like he’s not sure what you want it for. 

You grab that thick wrist with a gentle pressure, and you deposit a big glob of your own spit onto his palm, smiling at him and wiping your chin when you’re done.

Simon blinks slowly and his mouth twitches into the absolutely loveliest smile for a moment. He cups his hand around your offering and worms it under your knee this time, so he’ll have an easier time of reaching his cock. 

Oh god, you love this so much. You’ll do anything for that fucking cock, which you’ve never even seen erect before. You don’t care if it’s beautiful, or scarred, or crooked, or polka-dotted. It’s his, and you love it by extension. 

You just wish you knew what you’re supposed to be doing. Should you being saying something? Sweet nothings, or dirty talk? Should you be squeezing your tits, or giving him a bunch of eye contact, or maybe no eye contact? God, are you even sexy at this angle? He’s looking straight up your body, so he’s got a front row seat of your double chin.

Don't get nervous, you’ll psyche him out. He just watched you fuck his friend in a similar position, so even if he doesn’t find this particularly sexy, maybe he can pull from those recent memories. 

Simon’s breathing starts to pick up, but his eyes don’t look right. They start getting twitchy, his lids stuttering and not landing on your face as often. You’re just stupidly sitting here doing nothing, waiting for a splash of warm cum on your ass, but his movements start to slow down.

Shit, something’s wrong. His lungs aren’t expanding as much as they should, and then his free hand finds your ankle and grabs onto it hard, like he’s trying to communicate something. You think maybe he hit a wall, because his movements stop and his eyes go a little unfocused and blinky.

“It’s okay,” you quickly tell him, cupping his cheek with your hand. “It’s alright if we stop right now.”

His pupils are shrunk down tight when his eyes finally focus on yours. “You sure?” he pants out, leaning his face just slightly away from your palm.

“Of course, baby.” You brace your hand on the pillow instead, and you’re rewarded with that grip on your ankle finally relaxing. “That was so good. I’m so proud of you.”

He clears his throat a little, scrubbing at his face with his hand. Hiding. 

“I love you so much,” you babble, because he’s having trouble talking, and he generally doesn’t mind if you do. “If we have to do this a hundred times before we get it right, that’s totally fine. Or if you never want to do it again, that’s okay too! Day by day, okay? You did good.”

Simon just nods, moving his arm in a way that makes you think he’s putting himself back in his underwear. He’s having some trouble meeting your eyes. 

Once you’re sure he’s decent, you haul yourself off him and lay down on your stomach nearby. Close enough that he knows he can touch you if he wants that. 

“How about this,” you try. “You go take a nice shower, and do what you need to do to feel better if you want to. Then we can cuddle and watch TV or something.”

“Yeah.” He lets out all the air in his lungs, then leans over to kiss the side of your hair. “Alright.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

It’s not until the bathroom door closes behind him that you let yourself drop the encouraging smile. You bury your face in your hands and just breathe for a moment, going over everything that went wrong. 

He was in such a good headspace earlier, and really he made leaps and bounds of progress. Surely it just seems like a failure right now, because the dopamine is gone and you’re alone in bed, and he didn’t get off. Everything is literally fine, you just got fucked as good as any girl could wish for, and Simon touched himself in front of you. That’s a fucking amazing night, so why are you being so dramatic about it?

It’s too quiet and lonely in here. You know if you stay and wait for Simon to be done with his shower, he’ll walk back in on your depression spiral, and be forced to comfort you in a way he’s maybe not equipped to do right now. 

Wait, Johnny. Is he still here?

You quickly throw on some underwear and Simon’s shirt, and peek your head out the door. The TV is still playing soccer, but it’s otherwise quiet.

Your bare feet make no noise on the laminant when you cross over and look past the top of the couch, finding Johnny stretched out there with his face turned towards the game. 

“Johnny?” you prompt quietly, so you won’t scare him. 

His face turns to look at you, and… fuck. Just having someone else around, someone who you trust, has the worst of your emotions suddenly seizing up your lungs. 

Seeing the look on your face, Johnny uncrosses his arms. “Aww, what happened?”

“It went really well,” you say, though your voice is cracking with the beginning of tears. “He made… a lot of progress, I think.”

“That’s good.” He’s got a very concerned expression on his face, so you must look like a mess. 

The first bit of water slides down your cheek, and you quickly wipe it away. “Simon’s fine, I think. He’s taking a shower. It’s just—“ 

You try to swallow down that lump in your throat, but it just gets bigger, and before you know it, you’re admitting out loud the debilitating truth. “It wasn’t enough.” 

Johnny purses his lips sympathetically, and you just fucking burst into tears. “Everything was p-perfect, and it still wasn’t enough.”

You cover your face with your hands to sob behind them, and Johnny says, “Aww, lass, come here.”

You do your best to blindly make your way around the couch while you cry, and then Johnny drags you down to his chest, pulling your body over his and holding you close. 

“It wasn’t anything you did,” he tells you thickly, “it’s just the way it is.”

That just makes you cry harder, because it shouldn’t be that way. 

“I hate them,” you sob into his chest.

He curses softly, petting your hair. “I know.” 

“I hate them, I hate them!” You just start wailing it into his chest, your lips pulling back in your fucking fury. 

Johnny’s shoulders shake a little, and you’d almost think he’s laughing, except that one of his hands moves to wipe his face. “I know.”

He lets you cry on him for a long time. Long enough that you’re very glad you came to him for comfort, because you’d probably be doing the same exact thing by yourself in the bedroom.

You don’t hear the bedroom door open, but you do hear the sigh when Simon wanders over. 

“Can’t have a bloody wank without you lot fussing over it like a couple of grans.”

You get scooped up in your boyfriend's fresh, clean arms, and Johnny sits up so you all can recover on the same couch. Simon doesn’t let you apologize for your outburst, keeps shushing you when you try. 

It’s quiet for a while after that. Johnny’s team wins, so that’s something. He stays the night, and that’s nice, too.

Next Part

Dividers by @the-aesthetics-shop

Chronological Read-Through Path

[harrysfolklore]

the carlos sainz roast

summary: it's carlos' 30th birthday and what a better way to celebrate it than roasting him. wc: 2.8k

folkie radio: happy birthday to the smooooth operatorrrrr. i hontesly LOVED this idea that randomly popped in my head and writing it was sooo much fun, i hope you like it !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Carlos Sainz was turning 30. The big 30.

You wanted to do something special to celebrate it, something out of the ordinary that he would never forget. After spending multiple hours on the internet looking for ideas, a brilliant one came to your mind: A roast.

"So all of you will take turns roasting me? Like making jokes about me?" Carlos asked, looking at you from the couch as you pitched him your idea.

"Exactly, baby, It's going to be so much fun!"

The next few weeks flew by in a whirlwind of preparations. You sent out invitations, coordinated with the other drivers, and gathered embarrassing photos and funny stories about Carlos.

The night of the roast, you transformed your living room into a makeshift comedy club, complete with a small stage and a spotlight. Each driver that arrived at your house complimenting your effort.

As everyone settled into their seats, you stood up and tapped your glass with a spoon to get their attention.

"Welcome, everyone, to the Carlos Sainz Roast!" you announced, catching Carlos's eye and winking at him. "We're all here to celebrate the man, the myth, the legend... the one who always leaves the toothpaste open - Carlos Sainz Jr. on his 30th birthday. And what better way to show our love than by mercilessly making fun of him?"

Laughter rippled through your friends as Carlos playfully rolled his eyes, "Thank you, amor, that's very nice of you."

You playfully blew a kiss his way before speaking again, "Now, before we start, let's remember the rules: keep it funny, keep it respectful, and try to speak slowly so Max can understand." You shot a teasing glance at Verstappen, who grinned and shook his head.

"First up, we have Charles Leclerc, Carlos's teammate and the only person who can make Carlos look slow on a good day. Charles, the floor is yours!"

Charles stood up, straightening his jacket as he approached the makeshift stage. He cleared his throat dramatically, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Thank you for that introduction," Charles began, "You know, when I first heard Carlos was joining Ferrari, I was excited. Finally, someone to make me look good! But then I realized, with his luscious hair and chiseled jaw, he was going to steal all my sponsorship deals. So I had to step up my game."

The room erupted in laughter, Carlos included.

"But seriously," Charles continued, "working with Carlos has been an experience. He's like a Spanish version of Google Maps – always recalculating, never quite sure where he's going, but somehow ends up in the right place eventually. That's why I had no doubt in my mind he was going to find an amazing car to drive next season, my bet was on the Safety Car but he opted for an even slower car, a Williams!"

Everyone erupted in laugh again, making Carlos shake his head with his eyes closed, "That one was low, Leclerc."

Charles took a moment to catch his breath, then added with a grin, “And Carlos, now that you’re 30, you’re officially a veteran in the sport. But don’t worry, no matter how many years go by, you’ll always be the guy who can make a Ferrari look like it's in a constant state of panic. Cheers to you, mate!”

You grinned at Charles as he stepped down, patting Carlos on the shoulder. "Alright, that was pretty good, Charles," you said, "But let's see if Lando can top that. Norris, you're up!"

Lando bounded up to the makeshift stage, his trademark cheeky grin plastered across his face. He adjusted the microphone, clearing his throat dramatically.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the birthday boy, Carlos 'Smooth Operator' Sainz," Lando began, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You know, when I first met Carlos at McLaren, I thought, 'Wow, this guy's got it all – talent, looks, charm.' Then I realized it was just his hair products messing with my senses."

The crowd burst into laughter, Carlos included, you ran a hand through his famous locks and he gently grabbed it to place a kiss on your palm.

"If I'm being completely honest," Lando continued, "Carlos taught me so much during our time as teammates. Like how to perfectly time a dad joke in team radio, or how to look devastatingly handsome while finishing P7. Essential skills in F1, really."

The room erupted in laughter once again, with Carlos shaking his head in amused disbelief.

"Carlos, you're one of my best friends," Lando's tone softened slightly, "Even if you did spend most of our time together trying to teach me Spanish pickup lines that work about as well as Ferrari's strategy team."

"But I have a girlfriend and you don't, mate. Even with my bad pickup lines." Carlos jabbed, making you throw your head back in laughter.

As the laughter died down, Lando raised his glass. "To Carlos, the man who proves that you can be devastatingly handsome, irritatingly talented, and still somehow likeable. Happy 30th, mate. May your midlife crisis be as smooth as your overtakes."

Lando stepped down from the stage, approaching Carlos who stood up from his seat to give him a hug.

"Love you, mate," you could hear Carlos say, making you smile.

"Next up, we have Fernando Alonso, Carlos's longtime mentor and fellow Spaniard!" you announced, making everybody clap as Fernando took the stage.

"Ah, Carlos. I've known him since he was just a little karting prodigy. Back then, I thought, 'This kid's going places.' Now, 20 years later, I realize I was right – he's gone to every midfield team on the grid!"

The crowd roared with laughter as Fernando continued, "But seriously, I always thought Carlos had potential, and I was right, he's got the potential to be the second-best Sainz in Motorsports!"

Carlos playfully rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his drink.

"But let me tell you something, Carlos," Fernando's tone softened slightly, "You've made all of Spain proud. You've shown that with hard work, talent, and a famous last name, anything is possible in F1. Well, almost anything, winning a championship might still be a stretch!"

As the laughter died down, Fernando raised his glass. "To Carlos Sainz Jr., the man who proves that you can be a great driver, a fan favorite, and still be overshadowed by your dad at family dinners. Feliz cumpleaños, amigo!"

Fernando stepped down from the stage, approaching Carlos who stood up to give him a warm, laughing embrace. As they parted, you stood up to introduce the next roaster.

"Now, let's hear from someone who's known Carlos since their early days in Formula 1. Please welcome to the stage, the reigning world champion and certified cat lover, Max Verstappen!"

Max sauntered up to the stage, he adjusted the mic and grinned at Carlos.

"If it isn't the new old man of the grid," Max began, earning chuckles from the crowd. "You know, Carlos and I go way back to our Toro Rosso days. I remember when we first met, I thought, 'Wow, this guy's got great hair.' Then I realized that's all he's got!" everyone laughed once again, "Back at Toro Rosso, Carlos was always so dedicated. He'd spend hours studying my telemetry, trying to figure out how to be as fast as me. Spoiler alert: he's still trying!"

The crowd roared with laughter, Carlos included, as he playfully threw a napkin at Max.

"But in all seriousness, Carlos," Max continued with a grin, "you've always been one of the most hardworking and determined drivers on the grid. You never give up, no matter how many times you've been dropped by your teams mid season."

Carlos laughed, raising his glass to Max in a mock toast. "Thanks for the reminder, Max."

"Carlos, you're one of the best guys in the paddock. With your resting bitch face and all, you're always there with a helping hand. Even if your driving skills are debatable," he added with a wink. "Happy 30th, mate."

Max stepped down, and Carlos stood up to give him a hug, both of them laughing. You took the mic once more, "Thank you, Max, for that trip down memory lane. Now, let's welcome to the stage a man who's known for his infectious smile and his matchmaking skills. Please give it up for Daniel Ricciardo!"

Daniel bounded onto the stage with his characteristic enthusiasm, flashing his famous grin.

"G'day, everyone! Carlos, mate, happy birthday!" Daniel began, "You know, I've known Carlos for years, but my proudest achievement was introducing him to his lovely girlfriend, YN," you smiled at this, feeling Carlos squeeze your hand, "I thought to myself, 'This bloke needs someone who can put up with his golf obsession and his constant need for mirror checks.' And boy, did I deliver!"

The crowd erupted in laughter, with you and Carlos exchanging amused glances.

"I remember the day I introduced them," Daniel continued, "I told YN, 'Look, he's a great guy, but be prepared for endless conversations about tyre management and the perfect hair product.' Little did I know, she'd be nodding along enthusiastically!"

You playfully rolled your eyes as the audience chuckled.

"But seriously, folks," Daniel's tone softened slightly, "watching these two together is like watching a perfect pit stop - smooth, efficient, and occasionally involves someone getting sprayed with champagne."

Carlos pulled you closer, placing a kiss on your cheek as everyone 'aww'ed.

"Carlos, mate," Daniel concluded, raising his glass, "you've found yourself a keeper. Someone who can navigate your mood swings faster than you navigate Eau Rouge. YN, love, you've got yourself a man who's smoother than a freshly paved track... at least when he's not tripping over his own feet trying to impress you."

Daniel stepped down from the stage, approaching you and Carlos. You both stood up, enveloping him in a group hug, all three of you laughing and thanking him for his words.

"Alright, that was brilliant, Daniel. Now, let’s hear from let's hear from someone who's about to get very familiar with Carlos's driving quirks. Please welcome to the stage, Carlos's new future teammate, Alex Albon!"

Alex strode up to the stage with a playful grin, adjusting the microphone as he faced the audience.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my new teammate, Carlos Sainz," Alex began, "You know, when I heard Carlos was joining Williams, I thought, 'Great, someone to help push the team forward!' Then I remembered his time at Ferrari and realized he's just as confused about strategy as the rest of us."

The room erupted in laughter, with Carlos good-naturedly shaking his head.

"But seriously, Carlos," Alex continued, "I'm excited to work with you. I mean, who wouldn't want a teammate who's been through more teams than I've had podiums? Toro Rosso, Renault, McLaren, Ferrari... Williams is just the latest stop on the Carlos Sainz World Tour, isn't it?"

Carlos raised his glass in mock salute, chuckling along with the audience.

"I have to say, though, I'm a bit worried," Alex said, feigning concern. "I've seen how competitive you are, Carlos. I just hope you remember that at Williams, we're usually racing against the clock, not other cars. But hey, at least you'll always beat the safety car... probably."

"You know, Carlos, I just realized we have something else in common besides our great hair and questionable career choices. We're both proud members of the 'No Appendix Club'!"

The room burst into laughter, with Carlos nodding in amused agreement.

"That's right, folks," Alex continued, "Carlos and I have both had our appendixes removed. I like to think it makes us more aerodynamic, but let's be honest, in Carlos's case, it's probably just made room for more hair product."

Carlos playfully patted his hair, eliciting more chuckles from the audience.

"But seriously," Alex said, "I suppose this means we're perfectly matched as teammates. We're both down an organ, so when Williams inevitably asks us to give 100%, we can honestly say we're already giving everything we've got - minus an appendix, of course! Happy birthday, teammate, here's to a season of driving a tractor, but at least we'll be together."

Alex stepped down from the stage and approached Carlos, who stood up to give him a hug patting his back.

"Now, let's welcome to the stage a man who needs no introduction, but I'll give him one anyway. Seven-time world champion and fashion icon, Lewis Hamilton!" you said and everyone clapped.

Lewis sauntered up to the stage with his characteristic cool demeanor. "Carlos, my man," he began, "I've got to hand it to you. You've had quite the career. Toro Rosso, Renault, McLaren, Ferrari, next year Williams, it's like you're collecting team merchandise,"Lewis grinned mischievously as he continued, "You know, Carlos, I've got to thank you. You've done such a great job warming up that Ferrari seat for me. It's like you were my personal seat heater all along!"

The crowd roared with laughter as Carlos playfully buried his face in his hands, and you rubbed his back comfortingly while chuckling.

"But seriously," Lewis continued with a grin, "You've made that Ferrari seat look good. I just hope I can live up to your legacy of looking devastatingly handsome while trying to figure out what on earth the pit wall is thinking."

Carlos laughed, shaking his head in mock despair. "Thanks, Lewis. I appreciate the… kind words."

"You know, Carlos, I've always admired your ability to stay positive," Lewis continued his roast, "No matter how many times you've been dropped from teams, you always manage to smile for the cameras. It's like you've mastered the art of looking happy while screaming internally. I'm taking notes mate!"

After a few more jabs Lewis concluded his roast, several other drivers took their turns at the mic, each adding their own flavor to the celebration. George joked about Carlos's infamous beach photos, Pierre told some stories about their Toro Rosso days and even Oscar joked about being surprised about being invited since him and Carlos always push each other off the track.

Finally, it was your turn. You stood up, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as you approached the stage. Carlos looked at you with a huge smile.

"Well, well, well," you began, locking eyes with Carlos, "what can I say about Carlos Sainz that hasn't already been said? He's talented, he's handsome, and he's the only man I know who spends more time on his hair than I do."

The room filled with laughter as Carlos nodded in mock pride.

"But seriously, living with Carlos is an adventure," you continued, "He's always talking about smooth operations, but let me tell you, there's nothing smooth about the way he leaves his socks all over the house. It's like living in a minefield of sweaty foot prisons."

Carlos threw his head back in laughter along with the rest of the guests.

"And don't even get me started on his competitiveness. Everything's a race with this guy. Brushing teeth? Race. Getting dressed? Race. I'm surprised he hasn't tried to overtake me in bed yet!"

The room erupted in cheers and wolf whistles as Carlos turned a shade of red.

"But in all seriousness," your voice softened, "Carlos, you're the most incredible person I know. You're kind, passionate, and you never give up, whether it's on the track or trying to convince me that paella is a breakfast food."

You raised your glass, "To Carlos, the love of my life and the smoothest operator I know. Happy 30th birthday, mi amor. May your future be as bright as your smile and your pit stops be faster than your hair routine."

As you finished, Carlos stood up, his eyes shining with laughter and love. He pulled you into a tight embrace as the room filled with applause and cheers.

"I love you so much," he whispered into your ear, kissing your temple softly.

"Well, folks, I think we've successfully roasted Carlos to a crisp," you said with a grin. "But before we wrap up, I think it's only fair that the birthday boy gets a chance to respond. Carlos, amor, the floor is yours!"

"Wow," he began, his accent thicker than usual, "I'm not sure whether to feel honored or insulted. But I guess that's the point of a roast, right?" He paused as chuckles rippled through the room. "First off, I want to thank all of you for being here. It means a lot that you'd all take time out of your busy schedules to come and insult me."

Carlos thanked each of his friends with a blend of humor and sincerity, making everyone laugh. He playfully teased Charles about making him look good on track, jested with Lando about the success of his Spanish pickup lines with you, and expressed gratitude to Fernando for his mentorship while vowing to become the best Sainz in motorsports.

"And finally, to my beautiful girlfriend," Carlos's voice softened as he looked at you, "Thank you for organizing this amazing night, and for putting up with me every day. You're the real smooth operator here."

The room erupted in cheers and applause as Carlos stepped down from the stage. You met him halfway, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug once again.

"Happy birthday, amor," you whispered in his ear, pulling away to kiss him softly.

[xiaowhore]

intoxicating.

premise. your boyfriend dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore. of course, being the petty bitch that you are, you have to prove that you don't need him in your life either. and of course, intense emotions often lead to rash decisions, so you go to a bar in hopes of finding a new man.

somehow, even when all you've managed to do is scowl at anyone who approaches you and mope at the bar counter, you still manage to get one.

Wriothesley has dealt with his fair share of unruly drunks before, but they were something more along the lines of aggressive and sloppy, not depressed and sappy.

He finds that he'd rather manhandle angry alcoholics than a person who makes a slobbering mess all over his shirt, clinging to his arm and sobbing to his sleeve. Your body starts to sway even when he supports your weight, your footsteps unstable as your attempt to walk in a straight line fails entirely.

Okay, so maybe you are sloppy after all.

Wriothesley sighs and tightens his grip on your shoulders. There's no point in losing his patience with a drunk person. He didn't even mean to pick you up, it's just that as a police officer, his sense of responsibility makes him want to fix a troublesome situation whenever he sees one. Even when he isn't on duty, he often leads disruptive drunks out of bars and restaurants, forces them out when he has to, and is always on the receiving end of owners' gratitude.

However, he has no experience dealing with drunks that just got dumped by their boyfriend and chugged away the sorrow with alcohol. You know, like the one dragging their feet as he drags their inebriated body away.

At first, he thought you were hitting on him when he felt your head lean on his shoulder in the bar. It's a common strategy, one that he's dealt with enough times to know when someone is just pretending to be drunk and trying to get his attention. He was still thinking of what to say when tears actually rolled down your cheeks and you started retelling your life story that he never asked to hear about.

Wriothesley isn't actually trying to listen, but he still gets the gist of it. It would be hard not to when you're still prattling on about it beside his ear as we speak.

“He said...” You hiccup, warm liquid seeping into his shirt as you sob into his arm. He hopes that's from your tears and not your snot. “He said he doesn't feel anything for me anymore...”

So you glammed up for tonight and tried to have fun at a bar so you could prove to yourself you didn't need him in the same way he didn't need you. He can already recite the story perfectly from the amount of times you told him. Your plan is irrational at best, and he doesn't see himself doing the same if he were ever to be in the same situation, but he can't berate you for it. Not when you looked so miserable and hopeless to the extent he didn't think it would be safe to leave you alone back at the bar.

“You can't force yourself to be happy,” Wriothesley grumbles, finally giving up on carrying you by the shoulder and instead hoists you up on his back to give you a piggyback ride. Your shoes slip off your feet, so he sighs as he crouches down to pick them up. “At times like this, you should find other ways to feel better.”

Your body jolts against him as you hiccup once again. “Like what?”

“Dunno.” He shrugs, and he can feel you gradually getting used to being carried. It takes only a bit more for you to melt against his body, your chin snugly tucked in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. “Watch movies at home in your pajamas, I guess. Treat yourself to good food. Go on a trip. You look like the type to enjoy that. Much safer than getting involved with guys when you're still emotionally unavailable.”

You sniffle. “Romance movies only remind me of him. Eating at restaurants will make me remember the dates we've gone to. And going on trips will make me wish he's there with me.”

Why do they have an argument for each point I make? And I never said anything about the movie having to be romance. “Well, you still have to go through that,” he gives up on making you think otherwise. “But one day, you'll feel a little better about it. Maybe you'll want to start dating again when you watch that romance movie, or you'll want someone else to eat with on that restaurant you once went to. And when you're on a trip, maybe you'll even think you want somebody special to go with you.”

You go quiet. For a moment, he thinks you've fallen asleep. But then your head slowly rises from his shoulder, dazed eyes peeking at him unsurely. “You really think so?”

“It won't be easy,” Wriothesley says, because nothing ever is. “But you want to say you don't love him anymore, right?” He glances at you, at the dry tear streaks on your cheeks, at what glitter remains around your eyes from all the times you've rubbed away your tears.

For the first time that night, he sees you smile. “Yeah... I want to say it without feeling hurt anymore.”

He turns away, and he feels himself smiling without meaning to. “That's good.”

“...So do you like watching romance movies? Or eating [hometown] cuisine?”

“...No?”

“Then I'll settle for a movie you like. And I can make good food from anywhere.”

“...Are you hitting on me? Using my advice?”

“Is it working?”

Wriothesley laughs, looking at the person he's carrying on his back, who he is escorting to his apartment because you lost your keys and your roommate won't be back until tomorrow, whom he wrapped his leather jacket around because he felt you shivering against him, and who caught his eye the very moment he entered the bar.

“That's not a no.” He knows you're pouting even when he isn't looking anymore.

“Yeah,” he agrees with you, almost indulgently. “It isn't.”

When you wake up in an unfamiliar bedroom, dressed down to your undergarments and a t-shirt you definitely do not own, and with hardly any recollection of events from the past night, you think you've made a terrible, terrible mistake.

But then you spot the hangover medicine on the bedside table, your alcohol-spilled clothes drying in the laundry room, and possibly the most gorgeous man you've ever seen cooking breakfast in the kitchen, so whatever you did last night couldn't really be that bad.

“Oh, you're awake,” he says once he notices you standing in the middle of the room, completely awestruck. You don't even know what you should be staring at; his chiseled face, his strong arms, his tight tank top that faintly traces his muscled torso, the gray sweatpants that-

Okay. You are not going to look anywhere below his waist.

“Yeah,” is all you can manage, simply glad you didn't fuck up that one syllable. You feel like you're on the verge of either saying something really stupid or making really weird strangled noises. You prefer the former, if you can help it.

“Sit.” He pulls one chair from the dining table, gesturing for you to take it. You meekly take your seat, eyes shifting everywhere but his face. “You're rather quiet today,” he muses, taking one glance at your reddening face as he fixes the plates of pancakes in front and across you.

“...How was I yesterday, then?” You ask, though you don't actually want to hear the answer.

The man hums in thought, taking his sweet time while pouring coffee over two mugs. “Troublesome,” he decides to say. “You nearly puked over my rug, after all.”

You sputter, making all kinds of apologies and promises of compensation when all of a sudden, he laughs. “Nah, I'm kidding. But this means you don't remember anything at all, right?” He sits across from you, sliding the mug to your hand.

“No...” You take a sip, but you barely register how it tastes. “I remember ordering a lot of drinks, but that's pretty much it.”

“That's a shame.” He sighs, leaning back on his chair as he sips coffee. “I suppose that means our dinner plans are void, then.”

“Absolutely not!” The words come out of your lips before your brain-to-mouth filter processes it fully, your hand slamming down the mug on the table in protest. “Uh... that is... if you're available whenever...” You get a hold of yourself and feel your cheeks burning in shame.

He doesn't try to hide the amused smirk on his face. “Sure. I'll be looking forward to your hometown cooking, then.”

Just what on earth did you do last night...?

???

[sun-kissy]

Hi i was wondering if you could do a poly wolfstar fic with a fem reader where she feels left out of the relationship because they start to drifting apart which then leads to them breaking up. But then Sirius and Remus realises what they did wrong but reader just doesnt want to because shes scared they'll leave her out again.💗

hi angel! thank you for the request ♡

meant to be | poly!wolfstar

part 1 | part 2

tw: angst

poly!wolfstar x reader

You lean against the doorway, quietly observing them. Something you always seem to be doing these days. Your eyes rake over Sirius, with his legs propped up on one arm of the couch while his head lies in Remus’ lap.

Sirius laughs, and the smile Remus gives him while he strokes his hair is so full of love. It makes you wonder if Remus thought he personally strung up all the stars in the sky or something.

You try not to let it get to you but it does anyway, that same stinging sensation in your chest, as though someone had pierced your heart.

It felt silly to feel as hurt as you did. The boys were so hopelessly in love, it was endearing. They had claimed to love you the same way too just a few weeks ago. When they first proclaimed their love, it felt surreal. Perfect. But now, it felt like a chore.

Not to you, never to you. Loving them would never feel like a chore to you, you were sure of that. But what if they felt that way? What if you were just an experiment gone wrong?

Maybe you were just overthinking the whole thing. Or maybe this relationship was a mistake.

Sirius and Remus perfectly complemented each other already, it was like Remus was a container and Sirius was water. And you were the lid that just never fit right. Remus was calm, peaceful, loving. Sirius was fun, snarky, and full of affection.

What were you? Just a random girl who had the fortune of stumbling across the lovely couple.

They hadn’t done anything in particular to upset you, they never would. But it was the way they instinctively walked closer together, their fingers interlaced. The way they glanced at each other, having silent conversations you would never understand. How they seemed to know everything about the other, from every inch of his skin to every thought in his head.

It was like they could see colours you couldn’t see, speak a language you didn’t understand.

You told yourself it was fine, they had just known each other longer. They stayed in the same dorm room and took the same classes, of course they were bound to be closer.

But wasn’t that exactly the problem? Their lives were inexplicably intertwined, and it felt like you were trying to wedge yourself in. It left you feeling like the side character in your own story.

You heard your name and snapped out of your daze, blinking as you find Sirius grinning stupidly at you from where he lazed on the sofa. His expression softens when your eyes meet his. “Love, come over here! We’ve been looking for you all day.”

That was a lie, your brain screamed at you. You spotted them chatting in lessons, eating together at the Great Hall, taking a walk in the garden. They were not looking for you, it was a lie.

Remus smiles softly, beckoning you over. You will yourself to move, to go sit with your boyfriends, but it’s like your legs have turned to stone.

You silently stand there, watching them. You try to muster a smile or open your mouth to say something. But nothing comes out except for a quiet wrangled sort of noise.

Remus looks at you strangely. Sirius frowns, his eyebrows creasing. He pushes his palms down on the couch, elbows buckling as he sits up a bit. “Y/N, baby? Why don’t you come on over?”

You watch Remus gently move his fingers to Sirius’ forehead to smoothen the lines between his eyebrows, and him turning around to give the sandy-haired boy a lovesick smile. That simple action causes the last ounce of willpower in you to break.

You clench your fists to stop your hands from trembling as you suck in a deep breath, feeling the ache in your chest start to grow. Was it jealousy? Anger? Hurt?

Sirius seemed ready to move to your side right that moment, looking utterly confused as to what was wrong. But Remus kept his hand wrapped around Sirius’ bicep, a silent order to let you be.

“Angel,” Remus breathes quietly. You visibly flinch at the term of endearment, not missing the flash of hurt across his face which he quickly replaced with his usual stoicism.

Your heart was thudding so loudly you wondered if the boys could hear it. You swallow the lump in your throat, stuck between wanting to burn the bridges between you or to walk across them.

“I…” your voice comes out scratchy as you try to explain yourself. You clear your throat, watching Sirius’s frown deepen and Remus bite his lip anxiously.

“I don’t think I want to,” you say quietly, feeling your heart sink to your stomach. You knew Remus would understand, always the perceptive one. It was obvious in the way his eyes widened and his grip on Sirius loosened.

But Sirius just tilts his head, looking at you quizzically. “Okay…? You can sit on the other couch then. You can sit anywhere you want to, love.”

You wince, glancing at Remus for help. But he’s looking at you with that sad look on his face now, the one he only wears when he sees Sirius crying after receiving a letter from home, or when you show up at Hogwarts after the holidays with bruises all over. Did it really hurt him that much?

A sigh escapes you as you decide to try to be gentle with it. That’s the least you could do, after the boys had so generously let you in on their already perfect relationship. You suck in a shaky breath, mustering the courage to croak out the words.

“It’s not about the couch, Siri. I… I mean this,” you mutter, gesturing between the three of you. Immediately, your head ducks down, scared of what you’ll find if you look back up at them.

An uncomfortable silence is cast over the room, the kind that makes your skin crawl. A beat of quietness passes before you find the strength to raise your head, peeking at the boys. Sirius looks cracked open, his face a picture of anguish.

“What?” he rasps out. Remus’ features are tight with something that looks like grief, his hand ghosting over Sirius’ ankle to provide the little comfort he can.

The croakiness of his voice makes your heart feel like it’s being cleaved in two. But you knew you had to do this. For your sake, and for theirs.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you mumble in a rush, eager to get it out and not have to endure watching them in pain for too long. Sirius stays silent, his lips pursed so tight you think he might burst into tears.

“Why?” Remus asks quietly, gaze still trained onto yours as he rubs circles onto Sirius’ ankle comfortingly. “I… I don’t fit in. You guys are perfect for each other. But I just don’t fit in,” you admit, feeling guilt clawing at you. “This just isn’t working,”

“We’ll make it work,” Sirius says immediately, and the sincerity in his voice almost makes you want to concede. But you know that’s not possible. “Just… just tell us what we’re doing wrong, we’ll fix it. I swear.”

Remus nods slowly, looking at you expectantly. The hope on their faces make you feel like the worst person in the world as you give them all you have to offer - a small shake of your head.

“But love,” Sirius murmurs, his voice cracking. “Why… what… where did we mess up?”

“It wasn’t you guys,” you say immediately, even though it was. You just can’t bear to see the pain etched on the black-haired boy’s face. “It’s just not meant to be. We’re better off as friends.”

“But we love you,” Remus speaks up quietly. Sirius nods earnestly.

“I can’t,” you say, relieved that your voice comes out evenly. It’s a miracle with how hard you’re fighting to hold back tears. “I can’t do this. The both of you are always together, and I'm not blaming you for it. It’s in your nature to be together-”

“It’s in your nature to be with us too, dove,” Sirius says, the anguish in his voice leaving to make way for pure sadness.

“It’s not,” your voice coming out as a pathetic sob. “I’m not like you guys. I’m not fun, I don’t take the same classes, I don’t ever get what you mean. We’re just not right for each other.”

You think you can see something break in Remus when you utter that last sentence. Sirius bites down on his quivering lip and wraps his arms around himself, as though physically restraining himself from pulling you into a hug.

This isn’t the first time they’ve ignored what you said, isn’t the first time they didn’t respond. It happened on a daily basis, for Merlin’s sake. But this is the only time it hurt as much as it did right now.

You glance at them one last time, heart breaking at their pained expressions. But none of them say a word as you turn around and leave the room, letting you go all too easily.

Perhaps you were just not meant to be.

[bunni-v1]

Hiiiiiii, I wanted to, first if all, say thank you for writing so perfectly for Shadow Milk like fr i never saw anyone describing him so well I'm gonna cry. And I wanted to ask ,if you are ok with it, would you be able to expand a little more on the nsfw part of the headcanons you wrote about him? If not it's totally okay ahaha and in any case have a good day :D

Yeah, I for sure can! I left it kinda vague on purpose, purely because there's a lot to him and it was already so long. I'll try and write some more based on the original ones, but they won't be all that long lol. Still I hope you enjoy what I make up for you...

Tw: NSFW; Mentions of choking, biting, bloodplay, roleplay, etc..; grammar errors

Info: Shadow Milk x Reader; Nsfw headcannons

-To start I want to reiterate that he's very much in it for seeing you squirm. There is something so sweet about seeing your body jump and jolt beneath his touch. It makes him feel better about the effect you have on him.

-It's almost like revenge in a way, getting back at you for making him so weak and soft for you. If he can make you melt and mold for him in the bedroom, it's almost like he can call it even.

-For Shadow Milk Cookie, sex is fun. It's less about an expression of love and more about chasing your highs. Letting loose together and seeing how you can get each other to react to different things.

-With that being said he's super willing to experiment with just about anything and everything. If there's a kink you want to try, he'll go for it. Why not? He's just as curious as you are, y'know!

-Seriously, nothing (except sharing) is off the table at all. Hardcore BDSM, roleplay, watersports, pain play, blood play, and anything else you can think of really.

-He's, unsurprisingly, fond of things involving pain such as choking, spanking, biting, etc.. Not because he likes seeing you in pain, (well... he does, but only in the bedroom and ONLY inflicted by him.) but because you make the cutest little noises for him! Oh! Your squeaks and squeals are simply divine!~

-Biting is the most common thing he'll pull out, usually, each session ends with a nice new bloodied mark. It's his mark of claim on you, of course. A warning to anyone out there that you're not to be touched and that he does bite.

-He loves seeing them in private more though, especially after the deed is done. Cleaning the jam from your dough and soothing the marks over with kisses is his favorite pastime.

-Not to mention the absolute trust you have in him. Knowing that he would never let anything really terrible happen, so you sit and bear the pain for him. You like the scars they leave behind too, and trust me, they do scar.

-Speaking of trust, though, choking is up there because of the amount of trust you must have in him. When his hands wrap around your delicate little throat, he's reminded so intimately that he could kill you at any second. You are so small and weak next to him, and you know that, but you chose to love him anyway.

-So as he squeezes the air out of your lungs and hears the wheezy moans leave with each thrust of his hips, he's reminded of just how lucky he is. Sick and twisted in a way, but he can't help but fall in love with you all over again when you grab at his wrists like you can actually do anything.

-He actually prefers you unrestrained, because he likes you better when you can fight him off. He thinks it's cute when you struggle so hard against him, only to lose and get your brains fucked out like always.

-Oh and he loves to fuck you dumb. Seeing you babble and whine for more is such an ego booster. His little doll all limp and useless under him, pretty little empty head filled with nothing but him. (And he can see those stupid endless thoughts too! How sweet you are!~)

-Now when he's bottoming it's a different story. He does not like being vulnerable at all, so being on the bottom and letting you have that control over him is a struggle.

-When he's topping he doesn't say no to much, but bottoming is a different story. Like, very different.

-He fights you when you want him to bottom, like really fights with you about it. He'll make it very hard for you to make him submit, poking and prodding at you with mean words and as much physical force as he can muster (without causing long-lasting damage to you.)

-He is impressed if you get him to behave, though. He knows he's stubborn, so your patience has got to be insanely high to get him to this point.

-Once he has finally given up his control, you have to be very sensitive and in tune with his needs. He's needy, and he's not really ashamed of that fact either.

-I can't imagine him liking being degraded or belittled, it makes his insecurities rage in his dough. Parts of him believe that the insults are truthful, that you really think that about him, and that thought makes him want to cry.

-He doesn't mind being smacked around, especially if he's misbehaving and fighting you, but he isn't a fan of being hit by you. A little smack here and there, sure, but don't hit him like you mean it. It'll fuck with his head a little too much, and I feel he'd have a hard time separating the action from your actual feelings.

-No, he's quite a princess, actually. He likes being pampered and treated like a king. Gentle touches, loving words, and soft sentiments are what he needs from you. He wants to feel loved and adored by you, because he worries that you might not feel the same at times.

-When he bottoms is when sex is more about love than fun. It's the only chance you get to care for him, and the only time you see him willingly showing his softer and weaker side. You have to be gentle with him, or else he won't let you see that side of him again.

-Now I didn't really go into anatomy much when I was making my initial post, but this guy is wild. He can change his physical appearance at will, which means he can have a lot of fun so to say.

-I don't think he has much down there unless he wants to, and when he does want to let me tell you. It's not a penis. I mean, it is, but it doesn't look like one. It's a tentacle, a blue and white striped tentacle that gets thicker the closer you get to the base.

-He controls how it moves (most of the time), and can jerk you off with it or reach deep inside you to places you didn't know would feel so good. He rubs at your most sensitive spots with ease, torturing you with ease.

-He can also use his hair as tentacles as well, and often uses it to restrain you and play with you while his dick is inside. He prefers using his hair as a restraint than anything else because he can really feel you struggle that way.

-His cum is very thick, almost jelly-like, and a pretty light blue. It tastes like overly sweet blueberries. It's hard to swallow, but if you make the effort he'll be so very happy with you.

-He likes to cum just about anywhere, though. Your tummy seems to be his favorite, only because he likes it when you play with it after the fact. Finds it so cute when you can't help but worsen the mess.

-Oh and the last thing, which I feel is very important, he is big. And I don't mean like his dick is big, no. Shadow Milk Cookie is large, like literally ten times your size.

-Normally he takes a more... approachable form around you when he can help it, but... if you want to he would be happy to have his way with you at his full stature.

-You'd be sososososooooo easy to play with when he's so big, he'd love seeing his little dolly melt in the palms of his hands.

[mxrcurysb1tch]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Astrology 🐉observations pt. 4 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

: ̗̀➛ Gemini moons are super intelligent and generally study maths or engineering. They’re also super good at getting stuff done even though they never seem to ever be actually working? It’s like a talent.

: ̗̀➛ Ever wonder how someone can think a certain way and yet speak in a totally different way? They likely have their moon and mercury in completely different signs. For example, I’m a Capricorn moon with a Leo Mercury and while I am generally very hard on myself and sometimes pessimistic, it sometimes comes out as me appearing overly confident or self obsessed even though I feel anything but that. Another example is, a Gemini moon I know, he is always overthinking in his mind, feels anxious or flighty but his speech is very calm and levelled, since he is a Capricorn Mercury. This can sometimes lead to frustration especially if Mercury is debilitated or retrograde. People with complimentary or the same moon and mercury sign might have a more congruent way of expressing themselves and because they are sure of their convictions, many people may listen to them and respect them.

: ̗̀➛ Mars and Mercury conjunctions make someone very good at insults or even verbal aggression, depending on the sign/house and other placements. Their humour is likely to be playfully making fun of people or even themselves. They may be witty with it too. When it comes to arguments they always know exactly what to say to win.

: ̗̀➛ Virgo placements especially rising, sun and mars have a tendency to be very connected to their bodies, and even hyper aware of the processes going on inside them. They’re not usually the types to forget to eat or rest. Not because they know better (but let’s face it they usually do) but simply because they feel their internal sensations so strongly. It can also sometimes develop into psycho-somatic conditions or health anxiety if it is too pronounced.

: ̗̀➛ Having multiple detriment placements (especially if you also have no domiciles and if Saturn is also involved) can make the native feel like they have to work super hard at everything they do and like nothing comes naturally to them. They might feel like they aren’t talented or gifted in any way or that they weren’t blessed in life like other people are. This usually isn’t true though, what these natives need is a bit of self belief and self love.

: ̗̀➛ Meeting someone with the same moon sign as you is an elite experience. You might just feel connected to them in some way and just intuitively understand each other. Of course it will depend on their other placements too, but usually you guys will feel like the other “just gets it”. This is because you won’t have to explain to them why you feel a certain way or modify your expression in order to relate to them on a deeper level. My childhood best friend has the same moon sign as me and I have always felt like we are platonic soulmates.

: ̗̀➛ Whichever house you have Scorpio in can show where/what in your life you are most secretive about. For example, if you have Scorpio in your 2nd house you might be very secretive about your money, home or possessions. You might not want people to know how you earn money/how much you earn or you might not like having people come over to your house. If you have Scorpio in the 7th house you might be secretive about your relationships, you might engage in a lot of clandestine flings or affairs.

: ̗̀➛ People with the same sun as their rising feel so warm and genuine, what you see is what you get. They’re usually super confident in their own skin. They can’t help but be transparent and bare their souls to you. The degree to which will depend on the sign, of course. However, People with the same moon as their rising might feel overexposed and vulnerable. They usually have a more quiet presence, or always look like they’re sad or far away. They’re usually lost in thought or emotion though as they can’t help but be forced to examine their inner world in excruciating details.

[ghostlyferrettarot]

‧₊˚💼✩ ₊˚👓⊹♡Mercury in the signs and how we communicate with others ‧₊˚👓✩ ₊˚💼⊹♡

❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️

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💄Masterlist💄

☕︎Mercury in Aries: Communication is quick and direct. You are not afraid to speak your mind, and you are likely to do so impulsively. Aries gives Mercury a spark of energy, which can lead to a quick mind and sincere expression. Your communication style is clear, direct, and sometimes a little aggressive, but always full of enthusiasm.

☕︎Mercury in Taurus: Practical and very concrete thoughts. Your way of communicating is slower, thoughtful, and calculated. You prefer stability and clarity in conversations, and you avoid the unnecessary. You can sometimes be somewhat stubborn in your views, but once you make a decision, you stick to it. You focus on the tangible, on what can be seen and touched.

☕︎Mercury in Gemini: Mercury is in its home! Your mind is incredibly agile and curious. You speak quickly, love to learn, and never tire of sharing ideas. You can jump from one topic to another with ease, which can sometimes make it difficult for others to follow, but you always have interesting information and fresh points of view. You are the best at having dynamic and fun conversations.

☕︎Mercury in Cancer: Emotional and deep communication. You have a great ability to sense the emotions of others and express them in a sincere way. Your words are often protective and caring, as you care a lot about how others feel. You can be a little more reserved when communicating, but when you do open up, you do so in a way that touches the hearts of those around you.

☕︎Mercury in Leo: Creative and enthusiastic expression. You have a warm, passionate, and often dramatic way of speaking. You love being the center of attention, and your words tend to shine. For you, communicating is a way of showing your confidence and individuality, and you are not afraid to share your opinions with great confidence.

☕︎Mercury in Virgo: A meticulous and analytical mind. You are detail-oriented and precise in your thoughts and words. You prefer to explain things clearly and logically, with a practical approach. You can sometimes be a bit critical or perfectionist with what you say, but you do this to make sure everything is well-founded. For you, fluid communication is full of useful data and details.

☕︎Mercury in Libra: Diplomatic and balanced communication. You have the ability to see all perspectives of a situation before speaking and prefer to keep the peace in conversations. You have a gift for public relations and making others feel comfortable. Your way of expressing yourself is very considerate and focused on the well-being of others.

☕︎Mercury in Scorpio: Intense, deep and penetrating communication. You love to get to the bottom of things, and you are not afraid to address complicated or secret subjects. You are an excellent conversationalist when it comes to discussing deep and mysterious topics. Sincerity is very important to you, and you can be very persuasive with your words, as you know how to read between the lines and pick up on what is not being said.

☕︎Mercury in Sagittarius: Expansive and philosophical thinking. You are an optimistic, enthusiastic communicator full of ideas. Sometimes you can be a bit direct or even somewhat reckless with your words, as you care a lot about expressing your opinions honestly. You always seek the truth and love to debate philosophical, spiritual or intellectual topics.

☕︎Mercury in Capricorn: Serious, responsible and witty communication. You are very organized in your way of thinking and prefer structured and to-the-point communication. Sometimes you can be reserved or even somewhat pessimistic, but your realistic approach and ability to understand practical details make your words clear and effective. Your way of communicating is serious and mature, which inspires respect.

☕︎Mercury in Aquarius: Your way of communicating is super original and full of new ideas. You love to think differently, break the mold, and talk about things that most people avoid. Sometimes, you may seem a little distant or lacking emotional connection, but that's because your head is always focused on ideas and logic, rather than feelings. Your mind is like a kaleidoscope, always seeing new possibilities and relationships between things that others don't even notice.

☕︎Mercury in Pisces: You are one of those who communicate in a very intuitive and empathetic way. You tend to see the world from your emotions and your imagination, which makes your thoughts sometimes a little difficult to express clearly. That happens because your mind is connected on a much deeper level. You prefer poetry to hard data and what really inspires you is creativity. You are excellent at giving emotional advice or helping others through intuition.