#Also very frequent nightmares but that's less important

[hajihiko]

I'm sure one or perhaps even two people have wondered where my horror thinking comes from, and well, you see, I'm really fucking good at scaring the shit out of myself with only my thoughts

[kiragecko]

Story Idea

Telekinetic supervillain who REALLY loves historical architecture. Living in a superhero universe where heroes keep crashing through stained glass windows and leveling entire streets. As well as the normal corruption causing building to be demolished or “restored” in extremely destructive ways.

Kinda has Poison Ivy vibes, without any of the femme fatale trappings - her entire focus is preserving historical valuable buildings, and she doesn’t really care if humans that get in the way die. But she also isn’t going out of her way to kill people.

And the leader of the local superhero team can see where she’s coming from. And decides that just throwing her in jail every time she acts up is a sign they’re failing in their duty to protect the city. Instead, he starts trying to gain her trust. He doesn’t care that much about buildings, but he works on lessening his team’s collateral damage. He promises the supervillain that he’ll try to pressure the city government if she brings problems to him rather than taking them into her own hands. Eventually, he convinces her that she can protect the city’s infrastructure better by being on his team than she can on her own.

She’s incredibly helpful! She will keep burning buildings from collapsing until everyone can get out and the fire is extinguished. She’ll hold skyscrapers up while supervillains reign destruction down around them. She’ll deconstruct traps and grumpily direct her teammates towards the hidden mastermind who set them up. And when the crisis is over, she’ll see what can be salvaged and rebuild it if possible.

But she’s a PR nightmare.

Former Supervillain refuses to help people. She DOES NOT care. Your kid is trapped in the burning building? That is not her problem. Go bother someone else. Dude is holding a bunch of people hostage? It’s fine, he’s not causing any damage to the building he’s in.

People DO NOT like this attitude. People do not accept that she’s part of a team, and other heroes are capable of filling the “empathy” and “human rescuing” gaps.

And she’s high maintenance! The team frequently end up in situations where protecting lives is in conflict with protecting property. They take missions that mean very little to them, because they’re important to her. And the leader is constantly having to talk her out of rampages, pressuring the government to drop lucrative and unethical contracts, and making sure she’s sticking to the plan in the field. And she isn’t interested in interpersonal relationships or social niceties, so none of them are even doing this out of friendship!

-

Sometimes, you help someone not because they’ll be grateful, but because it will make your community better. Sometimes, you help the local drug addict not because he’s likely to turn his life around, but because he smashes less windows when he has a warm, quiet space to stay. And sometimes, keeping that community benefit takes a long term commitment.

I want to see a superhero team turn a villain as harm prevention and then willingly bear the cost of keeping that villain from causing harm. Not because it’s rewarding (though there are rewards) but because it’s more effective than any other method. And I want the villain to go along with it because the heroes actually found a more efficient way for her to reach her goals.

And it being messy for everyone, but I want them to make it work. And it to be worth it, in the end.

[fatuismooches]

bene quiescam, dilecte mi.

synopsis: Exams are any student’s nightmare, and that too applies to even Zandik sometimes (although to quite a lesser extent, perhaps it'd be more accurate to call it an annoyance.) As any good partner does, you do your best to relieve his stress, but this time he takes things into his own hands.

includes: dottore w/ gn! reader

notes: This is a commissioned work! A cute lil fluffy scenario with Dottie getting stressed from exams and dragging Reader away for cuddles was requested. I hope you enjoy!

Exam season at the Akademiya was not for the weak.

The House of Daena was always occupied even until ungodly hours, the libraries were full yet so quiet, and other spots were filled by students who had their coffee refilled far too many times. Classrooms were overtaken by study groups and the chalkboards were filled to the brim by sleep-deprived scholars. All-nighters were frequent for many students. Seniors could often be seen trying to comfort their younger classmates. Conversations consisted of a variety of feelings, from confidence to anxiety (mostly the latter.) The sight was something that simultaneously comforted you and scared you a bit, knowing everyone else was in the same boat as you.

Ever since you met Zandik, however, you could say your studying experience was probably different from the other students. Of course, there was still the stress that came with it, but studying with Zandik was definitely more enjoyable than doing it by yourself, especially when you had the very special privilege of being his beloved. His brilliance always shined through, even when he acted all grumpy about helping you and explaining concepts again. You gave him a kiss every time, which he clicked his tongue at and excused himself to refill his coffee. Indeed, it was moments like these that made studying better.

Zandik, on the other hand, was never one to worry much, which was a stark difference compared to other students and yourself. You were always a bit jealous at how unworried he was. Often, he didn’t even need to study too much, spending his time doing his own research as he usually did. You supposed it was to be expected considering how intelligent he was, but still.

However, this time, you had seen Zandik in a state you’d never seen him in before. Alright, that statement seemed a bit dramatic, but it was still true - you’d never seen him study to this extent (although it was still a lot less than what other students did.) The situation he had found himself in was due to a couple of reasons.

Firstly, he had decided to sign up for a class that had a terrible professor, despite your pleading for him to listen to the poor reviews of the teacher and just take the class with someone else next semester. His logic was that all the professors disliked him anyway, so it wasn’t a problem (which turned out to be the opposite, of course.) Not to mention, the class was writing-intensive. Zandik wasn’t a bad writer especially if he was excited about a topic. But his thoughts tended to be scattered as he wrote what came to mind, and the professor was quite strict and demanding for a particular writing style. (There was also the fact that quite a few of his papers were written by you, as he wasn’t interested in wasting precious time on such things… no one knew that though.) You couldn’t forget the numerous group projects too - Zandik only ever got a good grade on those if you were his partner. 

All in all, the situation wasn’t ideal. This final exam was pretty important for your lover. Thankfully, you had already finished all your exams and could bask in the softness of your bed for hours, but that was also coupled with witnessing Zandik being glued to his desk all day and night, preferring to stay in the dorm to study. It was a good thing you stocked up on pens and pencils - he had already broken at least a dozen…

For as long as you knew him, you had slowly tried to introduce him to the concept of a break, which… wasn’t really that successful despite the years you spent with him. And it certainly wasn’t successful now. You had pushed and pushed him to relax for a bit but there were times even you couldn’t convince him, Zandik being the stubborn scholar he was. At least he was making time to eat the snacks you prepared for him. Probably only because he couldn’t physically continue without some substance in his body.

So for now, you had settled with taking care of the other chores and working on his research in his stead to ease his burden. You weren’t really put off much by his actions, at least not when you’ve been with him this long. His exam would be over rather soon anyway, and things would be back to normal.

Zandik, on the other hand, was also coping fairly well. He was a bit annoyed at the fact so much time was spent on this class, but he supposed it was to be expected considering the kind of nonsense that was demanded at the Akademiya. Something that he was not coping well with, however, was the lack of touch he’d received from you lately.

He had always been used to being by himself, the touch of others making his skin crawl. When he met you, he initially thought your kindness and fleeting touches were incessant. Now, Zandik itched for them, although he very much refused to admit that to himself.

Still, how does he get you to throw your arms over him and nag at him to come to bed? How does he get you to touch and kiss him? How does he get you to pull at his waist and tug him out the door for some fresh air? Obviously, asking you was out of the question. He wasn’t going to deal with your teasing right now. He could subtly drop some hints, but you had been pretty dense these last couple of days.

Perhaps he should take a page out of your book and simply take what he wanted. It could be a good plan - you usually listened to him as long as there was affection involved. So that was what Zandik did as soon as you reached back to the dorm.

“Zandik, I got your favorite from the tavern. I’ll just put it away for- oh. You’re actually out of that chair for once! That’s a surprise- ah, h-hey! What are you doing?” It hadn’t even been a minute before you were suddenly being dragged by your partner to the bed. What was his reasoning for this, you wondered.

“You’re tired.” …Well, that was unexpected.

“I’m tired? Me?” 

“Yes. The bags under your eyes are still there and I can hear you yawning from the kitchen.” You furrowed your eyebrows and blinked at him when you realized he was still touching you. Well, clinging would be a better word, from the way his fingers still dug into your arms. And then, everything clicked as you realized the true reason behind this little show. Of course, you’d play along if that was what your beloved desired.

“…Yeah, I am pretty tired, actually. I guess finals took a lot out of me.” It was a convincing lie since it was partially true - you were still pretty exhausted from all of that studying.

“Exactly. So-”

“So I should get some rest before I end up causing you trouble, yes yes, I know Zandik.” You finished his sentence to spare him any further embarrassment, along with then tugging on his arm to pull him further into the bed with you. “And since you’re already here, you should just stay with me. Just so I can get the best rest I possibly can,” you smiled at him, giggling at his seemingly annoyed expression. 

“I still have work to do. I have not finished reviewing chapter 27 yet,” he grumbled, and yet he made no effort to remove himself from your embrace. You took it as a sign to bring him even closer to you.

“You’ve already done more than enough. You’re going to top the class like you usually do. There’s no need to worry so much,” you said as you placed a kiss on top of his head, reveling in the soft blue fluff that greeted you.

“I don’t need you to give me a pep talk. And I am not worried,” Zandik said as if he wasn’t snuggling closer to your neck, teeth about to graze your skin.

“I’m not doing that! I’m just… you know, it doesn’t matter. Just think about all the fun things we’re going to do after! All the ruins we’re going to secretly explore and the machines we’ll dissect! That’s what I do to motivate me when I’m studying.” You didn’t mention how you were looking forward to holding him hostage in bed in the mornings.

“You motivate yourself by thinking of all the work you’re going to do with me?” Your lover sounded simultaneously confused and amused as he began to nibble along your shoulder. You think the biting was a sort of stress relief for Zandik, for some odd reason. But such things didn’t bother you in the slightest anymore.

“Yes, but not because it’s work. It’s because I get to spend time doing things I’m interested in with a cutie as well. It’s a pretty good deal if you ask me,” you couldn’t help but tease him as he scoffed at your flirting, but his demeanor already seemed lighter than the past few days.

“I don’t remember this enthusiasm on the last expedition we went on,” he responded, finally nipping your skin, and moving upward to your ear.

“Alright, now that's a different story… you made me carry a bunch of things in the desert!” You laughed, the banter lifting your mood. It always felt good to have a normal conversation with your lover, especially after such a stressful week. As much as you wanted to continue talking, you also wanted to seize the opportunity to add a few hours to Zandik’s sleep schedule. You wrapped your arms around him a bit tighter as you yawned.

“But I am rather tired, as you said. I think it’s time for some sleep, wouldn’t you say?” At your words, Zandik began to try and shift out of your arms, but to no avail. Whether your arms were that strong, or Zandik was faking his protest, well, who could say?

“Nuh-uh. You already said you’d stay and rest with me,” you smiled as you reached over to turn off the lights, only the light from outside illuminating the dark room now.

“I promised no such thing. You’re the one who assumed that,” he mumbled, the heaviness of his body becoming much more noticeable to him now that he had entered a relaxed mood. 

“Yes yes, it’s all my fault you can’t pull an all-nighter today,” you rolled your eyes in amusement as you pulled the blanket over you two. “Just get some shut-eye, I’m sure you’ll need it for tomorrow’s one. Okay, Zandik?” Your voice had become softer, and the only response you got from your partner was a series of reluctant grumbles, which you grinned at. 

“Good,” you whispered as you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Rest well, my beloved.”

[viburnt]

Divorcing Izuku Midoriya Headcanons

I'm on a creative rush, and this may make zero sense because I'm tired lmao. Anyways, have some angst <3

Tagging the babes: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot @trickster-kat @angelshimaa (babe, you've missed some very angsty posts) @xhieru @mimisxs @dabislittlemouse

Content Warning: Divorce, emotional abuse and manipulation, mention of baby-trapping, alcohol.

• As I said in my last post, divorcing Izuku is a nightmare. Think about the most energy-draining and mental health deteriorating process, and multiply it for a minimum of 6 months. Izuku won't make things easy for you at all, trying to drag and prolong the whole ordeal just to keep you close. I've divided this set of headcanons by key moments/topics to keep some order. I hope you enjoy them, I'm pouring my heart on these (also pay attention to detail because I'm working on something hehe).

Denial and confusion: the first days after you serve him papers

• Izuku genuinely doesn't understand why you want to leave, refusing to accept the fact that you're not happy being by his side. He's given you all there is to give: a comfortable house, nice clothes, expensive cars, etc. So when you serve him papers, Izuku's first reaction is confusion followed by fear. In that head of his, he's made everything a good husband has to do! So why? Why would you not be happy?

• If you were smart enough and planned your movements with care, you should be able to go through your divorce without depending financially on Izuku or having to live in the same place. You'd have to deal with his incessant calls and texts, often having to block unknown numbers to avoid hearing his whines, but it'd be less difficult. If you weren't thoughtful about the situation and proceeded without the right steps, oh, you're in for a treat: there's nowhere you can go besides the house you shared with him, no place where you can be at peace. You're at Izuku's mercy, like it or not, but that's another story.

• In addition to his denial, Izuku starts to (unconsciously) guilt trip you. Phrases like "Sorry for not being enough," and "I know I'm very pathetic" become frequent. It pains your heart to hear those things because you know Izuku loves you, you are just not compatible at all. You try to let him see it's not about being enough, it's more about effort; with much patience, you set things clear to avoid any misunderstandings, but Izuku just doesn't get it.

• "Haven't I done this or that for you? Didn't I buy you all these things? Am I not enough?" "Izuku, I didn't ask you for any of this, all I wanted was my husband..." Conversations like this occur during this phase, and they can only be held through the phone (when he is sober and not yelling/hollering how much of a mistake a divorce would be). He tries to gauge sympathy from you, telling you that his job is important but that he loves you so much!

• He becomes an empty shell of the bright ray of sunshine the public knew. It goes unnoticed by many, but the people who work around him can tell. It is then when he starts telling others about his marital situation, and you end up seeing faces you've met once or twice during galas or hero events. You "accidentally" stumble across your husband's colleagues, like Ochako, who try to convince you to give him a second chance. "I- I know we don't know each other a lot but please, consider it. Izuku is a great guy a-and I'm sure you guys could fix any problem!" It is embarrassing for you because no one wants people to know their issues.

• What's so ironic about the moment when you serve him papers is that he receives them at his office, the very root of all the problems in your marriage. It was the place where he had spent anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's... those four walls witnessed the beginning and the end of your relationship. Izuku has a mental breakdown when he finally reads the documents but, hey, he was still pro-hero Deku, right?

Negotiations and lawyers: The first weeks and months

• If having to deal with Izuku's colleagues trying to change your mind wasn't enough, be ready for your soon-to-be ex trying to negotiate. Midoriya suggests couple's therapy to talk this through, and for a split of second, it almost sounds like a good idea! But then you remember all those times when Izuku had promised you he'd be there for you and failed. It didn't seem plausible after that... Besides, all things considered, it'd be hard to find a therapist who could see your side of the story. Who would dare to tell someone as charming and popular as Izuku that he failed as a husband?

• Once therapy is off the table, Izuku brings up children. It may be considered a low blow, especially if one of your dreams was to form a family with him, so his offer felt cruel. "W-we can have kids! Wouldn't you want that? We can be a big family, with one- No, two babies!" "Ouch, it takes a divorce for you to even think about it, huh? That's uh, slightly concerning. Besides, a kid needs a father too... I'm not planning on being a single mom in this marriage" Now, Izuku strikes me as the kind that would try to . to stay. I'm sorry if it sounds terrible, but considering how sometimes he acts on impulse, he really could try it.

• Izuku also tries to be at home more often; he "cooks" (it's takeout disguised as home meals), brings you coffee to the bed, and calls you all kinds of sappy nicknames... It saddens you, why couldn't he care like that before? Of course, this point only applies if you still live with him during this whole process. If you don't, he starts frequenting the places where he guessed could find you: cafeterias, plazas, shops...

• Finding a lawyer for you was a hard task, especially because everyone sees you as a "dumb" woman who is trying to divorce Japan's number one hero. Not to mention they were very expensive, and Izuku was certainly not giving you money for that. You tell Izuku that mediations need to happen to progress with the divorce, but he never shows up to the meetings. There's always an excuse for that man! No matter how much you plea, he refuses to sign the paper. Izuku also becomes very mean towards you, outright berating you for not understanding him. It's gruesome to see him turn into such a monster during these months.

• As an additional point for this part, Izuku hires a private investigator to follow you around. He feels bad for thinking of it, but the idea that you could be seeing someone else while you're trying to divorce him eats him alive.

Last resort: Mediatic battle

• The media is very quick to pick up your marriage's fall down. Time after time you visited your lawyer's office for them to put two and two together, and Izuku takes that to his advantage. Sensationalist articles had already been happening, a lot of them being cruel and demeaning towards you. Titles like "Is she a cheater?" "No amount of success gives you the girl!" And "Pro-hero Deku will be looking for a new wife soon" started popping up. You have to take down any social platform to avoid being targeted.

• It is when Izuku gives a public declaration that things get worse. "I'm sorry, my wife is just not happy with me anymore. Please respect her wish! Don't harass her, I failed as a husband." It may seem like a hearty and sorrowful declaration from the outside, but Izuku picked word by word to gain sympathy and pressure you into changing your mind. People in the street call you "heartless", and the stress simply keeps growing for you.

• To put it in simple words, you were David against Goliath, except Goliath was a glorified person who had all the resources and support of the people. You were nothing but a tiny mouse squeaking to be set free of a relationship that was suffocating you.

The aftermath: Supposing you haven't given up and he signed the divorce papers

• If you somehow manage to divorce him after all these problems, congratulations. You survived 5% of the drama that awaits you! Now you won't be able to date someone without people snapping photos for entertainment news or judging you for leaving "such a great man". Izuku will still try to convince you to go back to him, playing his "sad lover" role in front of the cameras so well! He'll try to send expensive gifts and tell you to keep the house, he'll call you drunk in the middle of the night, and if you're not careful enough, he may try to gaslight you into thinking nothing wrong was happening in your marriage.

• One particular thing I must mention is that Izuku only signed the papers after you yelled at him at one of the legal mediations, hot embarrassment tears falling from your tired eyes as you begged him to let you go.

• Anyways, the list could go on, but those are the main points of divorcing Izuku :')

"Please, just sign the papers..." You said through the phone, your voice tired of pleading to someone who simply refused to hear you. "I will, I will! I'm just a little under the snow with work. Can you reschedule?" Izuku said, apologizing for not being there for you. Excusing himself for failing you, but refusing to let go. "You know how many articles I've seen with my face saying how much of bitch I am for visiting my lawyer's office?"

Izuku's silence was deafening, you could only hear him sigh slightly, perhaps feeling bad for putting you in such a position. "I don't want this divorce."

"But I do, so don't make things more difficult for me, please." He heard you say, biting his lip to hold back the tears. Izuku was glad you couldn't see him, sitting alone in his office with a half-empty bottle of wine you'd gifted him for his birthday. "Do you remember what day is today?" He asked.

"I don't know, Monday? I haven't slept lately." You answered unamused. "It's our anniversary... we married 5 years ago, on this very day." His words came out as a slow slur, his breath hitching as he crumbled through the phone. "I miss you a lot, please-"

"I'll see you on Wednesday, if you're not there I swear to God..."

...

"Mr. Midoriya?" Your lawyer called, her voice bringing your anxious husband back to reality. "Ah, sorry, it's me. Is... is she in there?" He asked, pointing at her office. She just looked at him with little sympathy and nodded. "On time, as always. Maybe you should avoid keeping her waiting, that's the least you could considering how many times we've had these conversations."

"There's no way I can fix this, is there?" Izuku asked as if the lawyer cared. "Wanna do something nice for her? Divorce her."

[howlsofbloodhounds]

THE CROWSHIPPING TALK HAS SUMMONED ME!!!

the question of how dust would worship death has been in my mind forever and i still haven't decided how to go with it. i understand reaper and grim are based on greek mythology, so maybe a practice resembling ancient greek worship rituals? there are also modern pagan practices for greek gods as well.

though, i do think of murder's creator being korean, so maybe there should be some cultural references to that? i'm not korean, but i believe that chrysanthemums are closely related to death and rebirth in some korean regions. in east asian cultures, marigolds are often used for funerals/shrines/tombstones because they take a long time to wither away. korea also has a lot of different belief systems/religions, so that might prove a bit tricky as well.

however, since murder is a monster living in the underground, his beliefs regarding death and religion are not the same as humans. monsters might have their own belief system (the prophecy is one). so it just turns into a mushy pile of "how the hell is murder going to perform rituals" to me lol

~ crowshipping anon

I suppose it can be a mixture of all three; monster influenced, Greek, and Korean. He can scatter the monster dust on the things that were important to them, and perhaps he leaves them some gold or coin for the equivalent of the ferryman, and and perhaps he can place marigolds and chrysanthemums near, on, or around their important item or otherwise on their dust.

I suppose it’s important to consider just how much time he will reasonably have to dedicate to Death, and how often, and what he could be willing to do that is small, less time and energy consuming, but no less important or valued. (Murder not realizing just so much and truly and deeply loved he is by Death 💕).

And of course, how much he will be able to get away with and hide in Bad Sanses AU, considering he is under the care and protection of basically something like a God of Negativity—at least in comparison to Murder himself.

Not only do we all know that Nightmare is possessive, it might just frankly be insulting or offensive to do worship other God(s) or Goddesses while in the service of another, involuntary or not. Murder likely wouldn’t know for sure, but insulting Nightmare even unknowingly could be dangerous.

Elaborate rituals don’t have to be a frequent thing, considering how Dust is in a little war with the human and will likely be very busy in Bad Sanses AUs—taking into account things like his mental health and physical health, just how much energy he’ll be able to offer and do reasonably on a regular or even non regular basis.

Even as something as sharing a meal with Death—or inviting one or both of them to join him with his meal—can be enough, and could possibly even encourage him to drink and eat more frequently if he is sharing with or offering to his Gods.

The worship and devotional acts doesn’t have to be entirely death or underworld or afterlife related—the simple, mundane things would likely be appreciated, especially if they’re done by Death’s priest(ess).

Even dedicating time to learning more about Death and Their mythology, Their lore, Their history—Them—can be an act of devotion. Any specific self care ritual could possibly be as well—such as washing with a specific scent.

This may actually even be a common worry for Murder. That he isn’t doing enough, worry that having to hide it can be taken as being ashamed or embarrassed, that he isn’t able to do something for Them on a daily basis. Either because of “work” and having to survive such a hostile environment, or simply because Dust is too exhausted to even get out of bed.

Perhaps this is something Death will often try to reassure Their Priest(ess) about frequently, reassuring him that even silent prayer is more than enough for Them—and They are not going to get mad at him, or leave him, or otherwise punish him. They are not Nightmare, and They understand that mortals have limits and lives they must attend to.

I can imagine that being able to perform one of the big rituals is pretty exciting for Murder though. Especially if it comes on the heels of having finally found freedom and enough stability and energy to do it with a bounce in his step and a bright smile on his face.

[lets-try-some-writing]

This is very important and I am up at 1 am wildly asking you this

DO BOTS DREAM

And if so

WHAT DO THEY DREAM ABOUT? DO THEY HAVE BIT NIGHTMARES? IS THERE A BOT EQUIVALENT OF THE GO TO CLASS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR NIGHTMARE?

I NEED ANSWERS AND YOU FEEL LIKE THE MOST QUALIFIED EXPERT TO ASK

Mwahah! You came to the right writer for this dear anon! I have enough thoughts on Cybertronian culture and biology to write a novel!

Cybertronians and Recharge Cycles

As a general rule, Cybertronians do not "sleep" or hibernate as organics do. While there are certain medical conditions that replicate the phenomenon to a degree, those are rare, and often temporary. Instead of sleep, Cybertronians have recharge cycles which they use as their way to sort through data, clear their processors of unnecessary sensory information, and run through alerts and protocols that are hyperactive. In short it is a chance for their systems to relax and for their minds to be cleared of stress inducing data that may clutter the processors and make functioning harder.

The frequency of recharge cycles depends entirely on the level of stress a Cybertronian is experiencing. Sparklings recharge frequently so that their processors can go through the data they collect and catalogue or discard it. Younglings recharge less as they know more and have largely set up their processors with all the basic knowledge needed to function, but lots of physical activity can lead to more frequent recharge cycles. In fully developed adults recharge cycles are a rare thing since their processors have adapted and their frames have grown into an equilibrium.

Of course there are also minor recharging cycles that function almost like a nap, and those are taken rather frequently, often a few times in a human week and lasting for up to three hours. In those instances the bot in question shuts down a large portion of their sensory capabilities and higher processing to sort through surface level data and allow their systems to have a brief break. They can still perform basic actions, but they are largely unaware and will be left incredibly groggy if broken from their half recharging state. However true recharge cycles are long and rare things that are often only taken once every few human months, often lasting for a few days at a time. It is polite to allow a recharging bot to remain untouched and to offer them energon when they wake since they will be rather starved for fuel.

The concept of "dreaming" is a bit of a foreign one for Cybertronians as a whole. Most often bots do not "dream" in the human sense. Their processors instead review memory files from all over the course of the time in between recharge cycles. Often the Cybertronian in question does not recall this process as their higher functioning is nearly entirely shut off so their systems can recalibrate. However that does not mean they do not experience anything while recharging. Young sparklings often tend to "dream" in that their processors recreate an event as best as possible based on how the sparkling sees it to try and collect the most important data. The sparkling relives moments, usually small ones while they rest and that helps them to fully absorb what they learn.

Younglings can still have this happen, but more often than not their processors run through probability sequences instead. While recharging their processors use their memories and experiences to recreate possible outcomes to events that already happened. So if a bot were to have been anxious about classes but still have had a reasonable cycle going to them, their processors may conceive the worst case scenario just to test probability. In such an instance they may predict a situation in which their plating is not properly cleaned or where they are without any of their outer armor, instead left bare in their protoform through some inconceivable event. Such predictions are the closest thing they have to "nightmares".

With grown bots, these predictions stop for the most part, especially as they grow older and have more experience and thus less need to play the probability game. At most they will have an odd prediction routine run when they are particularly stressed or going into a new environment. But once again, as soon as they are acquainted with a new environment or situation, their processors will stop such "dreams" because experience makes up for it.

Of course these rules only apply to normal Cybertronians. With the war, recharging properly has become impossible, and that has led to recharging having some unusual consequences.

With shortened recharge cycles or little to none, when a Cybertronian fighting in the war does recharge, it is often not a fun experience. For younglings it is... intense to say the least. Often they can spend a week or more recharging when allowed simply because there is so much to review. Not only that, but their prediction routines run at high paces to try and get through the millions of outcomes, often leaving younglings groggy or even traumatized if they recall the "dreams". Their frames also tend to be so very exhausted from sometimes years of nonstop effort that when they do finally drop, they can be left passing out randomly for weeks afterwards as their processors try to get through whatever it might have been unable to fully review.

For grown Cybertronians, the consequences of little to no recharge come in a variety of forms. For some, they suffer much like younglings and are forced to endure horrendous prediction sequences that leave them struggling against their own minds. Others recall nothing but are left to endure complete and total shutdown, with absolutely no way to wake them until their recharge cycle is complete. They wake far more happy and effective than others, but during that time they are totally exposed and vulnerable, a glaring weakness during war. It certainly doesn't help that these recharge cycles can come upon a bot almost randomly with at most a few minutes before they drop.

Cybertronians who have experienced more trauma than others may find their frames wandering the halls as their minds struggle against all sorts of predictions and scenarios. Their minds are more rested, but they often are left sluggish and unhappy due to how little rest the remainder of their frame received. A scant few who suffer the most may end up unable to recharge properly due to how severe the prediction routines are. Those unfortunate few end up living near entirely off partial recharges and can only endure a day or so of proper recharge before they wake barely rested enough to continue onward.

However its not all doom and gloom.

Cybertronians can have happy "dreams" too. It is a rarer thing, but in response to extreme stress or increadible joy, Cybertronians can pull up old memory files of happier times, or when none are available, create predictions based off of hopes and dreams. Those sorts of "dreams" are rarely remembered, but they have shown to have a soothing effect on a strained mind.

[anothermansjeans]

idk how you feel about songfics but i’m obsessed w tswift’s dbatc rn and i’m just thinking about spencer reid having a secret relationship that he leaves bc he’s afraid his so will be killed by an unsub but his so is like a local singer and garcias a huge fan and is like omg this song is so beautiful and sad happy ending or angst ending doesn’t matter i just think that song encompasses how i would feel if i loved and lost reid sorry for rambling anywayyy

i am a woman on a mission and ik you just requested this but as soon as i saw it i got immediate inspo

i also have a hotch x reader fic called death by a thousand cuts BUT i had to do this one as well 🫶 also i’m so sorry if it’s shit i’m so tired lmaoooo

I Can’t Pretend It’s Okay When It’s Not

spencer reid x fem!reader

When Penelope gushed about a local musician she absolutely adores playing at the cafe she visits frequently and forced the entirety of the BAU team to tag along, she forgot to mention what Spencer would deem the most important piece of information— her name.

At first, when they walked into the coffee shop already a couple songs in due to the team's later arrival (much to Penelope’s dismay), Spencer wasn’t completely aware of the angelic voice completing beautiful melodies. His main focus being on getting coffee into his system asap, while he was up at the counter, he tuned it out almost completely— again, almost. The moment he heard her speak was a completely different story.

“Um, so this is a new song…” the woman on the small five inch high stage started, “I actually wrote it a couple weeks ago after a very… difficult time in my life… a time I’m still actually going through, but I hope you guys have it in your heart to give it a listen with open minds. This is Death by a Thousand Cuts.”

Spencer slowly walked back over to the team, eyes wide and fixed on the woman he believes is the love of his life. The only problem being he has no right to call her his anymore.

Soft strumming of the guitar began, with low my’s being sung, and he heard a soft gasp come from his left. “Oh, this is gonna hurt,” Penelope said, one hand placed on her chest while the other hugged around her body.

“Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts”

Not even a minute in and Spencer feels as though he’s been stabbed through the heart. It’s difficult hearing it from her perspective. When he made the decision to end what they had, it was out of protection— it was so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the burdens of his job.

“I dress to kill my time

I take the long way home

I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right

They say, "I don't know"

And what once was ours is no one's now

I see you everywhere

The only thing we share

Is this small town”

“You said it was a great love

One for the ages

But if the story's over

Why am I still writing pages?”

Spencer thinks back to their love story, back to when it began and the blissful moments, the rendezvous’, and the unasked questions about why they only ever had real dates inside and why no one on the team or anyone with any semblance of importance in Spencer’s life knew of them.

He thinks back to how happy she was, and how she was content with just being with him. How when her eyes lit up the first time he said he loved her, but also the dim the second he ended things.

He thinks about the nightmares he thought were over. How instead of Maeve being the victim it was now her. How if it wasn’t for those nightmares, the onslaught of “what-if’s” wouldn’t plague his mind. How if he had a less dangerous job, a job that didn’t take every ounce of life or happiness out of him, he would and could still be with her.

And as he thinks of these things, he suddenly becomes aware of the blazing eyes that had locked with his, and a tiny gasp is heard from the microphone before she starts playing with more vigor.

“My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united we stand

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from our paper thin plans”

It hurt. So much. And it was clear it wasn’t only him because each word she sang was aimed to puncture him. The tears brimming in her eyes were also evident. To anyone else, her words are curated from past

memories from someone who hurt her, but to Spencer, it was a message. A message that every single part of their relationship was taken into account while writing this song. A message that everything they’ve ever said or done had been tainted with the memory of him leaving her with no explanation.

“My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Trying to find a part of me you didn't take up

Gave you too much but it wasn't enough

But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts”

He watches as she screws her eyes shut, and the sharpness of her words becomes duller as she sings on. He knew he fucked up the moment he walked out of her apartment the night he ended it, but he has never regretted it more than now. He misses her. He misses smiles, the laughter, the unconditional love that radiates from her. He would do anything to get that back.

He doesn’t realize he’s standing there, staring at her in awe mixed with sadness until applause is heard throughout the cafe and Penelope lets out a small “so sad and and beautiful,” while wiping under her eyes. He also doesn’t realize that after she announces a small break that he was walking up to her in a daze, the entire team behind him eyes wide with shock.

He also doesn't realize the first words he speaks to her are what they both longed to hear between the two for weeks.

“I miss you so much.”

She’s shocked to say the least. She’s completely speechless to the point where he begins to speak again due to the lack of words on her side.

“I’m an idiot— I’m, I’m so stupid. You’d think with an IQ of 187 I would be able to not make decisions like leaving the one woman I love the most in the world. Y/N, I swear I thought I was keeping you safe because with me and my job, that’s not always a guarantee, but listening to you and what you’re going through, I can’t— I know it wasn’t the right thing to do—”

“Spencer,” she finally cut him off, placing her hand on his arm and shifting her eyes to the people behind him who had been standing with him. “Later, okay? You can tell me everything later when we aren’t surrounded by a bunch of people.” The look in her eyes was genuine, but there was still hurt swimming in them. He wanted to say something, anything to ease it, but before he could open his mouth she grabbed the acoustic guitar and gave him a small smile. “And I miss you too,” she said before walking back up on the small platform and adjusting her mic.

While introducing her next song, Spencer slowly made his way back to the group who were going to ask the inevitable questions, but that didn’t stop the small smile from making its way to his lips, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, they won’t have to pretend to be okay anymore.

[theladyragnell]

How did you get to a stage where you love your writing so much you don't care about marketing it? I have had trad pub in my head since I was 13 years old and struggle not to think about what others would think of my writing even even I tell myself it's just for me :(

Oh, anon, I wish I had easier answers for you, or really any for-sure answers at all.

First, I just want to say that for me, this is a few different questions! Wanting to do traditional publishing, loving your writing, and not caring what people think are all related, but they don't have to go together all the time.

Because I do still, in my pie in the sky dreams, want to be traditionally published! I read a lot, and I love my writing, and I think that my writing does stand up to a decent amount of what's coming out, but it's not currently a path I'm pursuing, which is largely because publishing is full of Nightmare Tasks for people with difficult brains (query letters my beloathed), somewhat because of how the industry is treating workers and authors these days, and somewhat because of how hard I find criticism to take.

Which leads to, as you say, struggling with what other people think of your writing. And I do! When I post a new fic, or share a new story with a friend, I get anxious and I want people to like it! But nonetheless I write things I love and want to write, because I have tried the "write trends" thing and tried the "write things to make a specific person happy that I'm not into" thing and popular as the results might be, and they're fine stories because I'm a good writer, but I don't love them or come back to them.

But also, that "that I'm not into" thing is very important! Because I do still care a lot what people think of my writing. It's just that I count myself as one of those people, and I try to write for certain people or subsets of people, not the whole world, because the more people I try to please, the blander and less like myself I feel like my writing gets. So I try to write for myself, and also I'll write a trope or relationship dynamic a friend likes, or I'll write for a subset of a fandom that has a particular taste, or I'll just make up a guy in my head (positive). It becomes an exercise in triangulation! This is something I do a lot with exchange fics, where I try to find a midpoint between my tastes and my recipients' tastes, something I find very enriching. So yes, I do care a lot what other people think!

But the loving my own writing ... that's a mix of a lot of things. Some of it is experience. I have been writing as a major hobby for literal decades, and I write fast, which means I have written enough to feel comfortable with my skills. Some of it is wrapped up in the previous point, where writing things I love makes me love my writing more, which means even if I'm not writing publishing trends (my pacing is slow and has too many conversations! I don't like a lot of the current romance genre trends, much less SFF romance trends!) I still love what I'm doing.

But it's also learning and growing so that I know my writing is getting better! It's analyzing what an author I love has that I lack and trying to find my own way to it. It's learning to use language in new ways when I'm not a very language-forward writer. A lot of times, it's trying (and frequently failing, because this one is hard as hell and easy to do wrong) to find the core of my id on a certain trope or relationship dynamic and go all in on it.

I love my writing because it's mine, and my writing is the way it is because I love it. I loved my first embarrassing gel-pen-in-a-cat-notebook "novel" in seventh grade, and I love the epic 6-book sci fi romance series that I finished most recently and may someday be brave enough to self-publish. None of them are trendy. But for me and the people the stories matter and have mattered to (friends I no longer speak to from middle and high school passing my handwritten works back and forth in the middle of class, friends who read my works as I write them or when I finish them now), and the people they might someday matter to, I don't think the trendiness or the marketability matter.

And I don't think they will for you either someday, anon. <3

[granulesofsand]

we need resources on figuring out if we were trafficked- especially because we have no memory if it but two known alters tell us they have been trafficked/what signs would there be of trafficking with memory loss. We also need resources/explanation on what are screen memories and how to know if a memory is a screen memory. Thank you so so much

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA

Signs of Trafficking

The Legion System has been compiling resources that include most of what we would recommend. We don’t agree with everything they say, but have never had any serious issues with them.

Before you begin: this site has RAMCOA visible in large font. It does include a quick-close button on the Wordpress page, but not within Google Drive.

To find the relevant Drive, scroll down to below the cut-off in Resources. Click the second link, Identifying Abuse. Different articles target different audiences; most will warn extreme topics but should be assumed triggering.

I don’t know if these resources include labor trafficking, but requirements are fairly similar when applied to local laws (*cough* or not *cough*).

Screen Memories

Screen memories are a dissociative shield over trauma; the information contained within is either edited or inaccurate, preventing pain or overwhelm from creeping into the conscious mind.

In programmed survivors, a screen memory may be forged by a programmer to hide the abuse they’ve perpetrated. For example, a victim may be told they were at a study session with a friend rather than a torture session at an abuser’s house.

Memories may be swapped for a more mundane abuse as well as positive experiences, but they exist to hide a worse reality.

Cover Memories

There is sometimes a community distinction between screen memories and cover memories. Where screen memories are less extreme than the original memory, cover memories are more so.

Cover memories tend towards absurdity, regardless of personal beliefs. Whatever is controversial in the mainstream is what is pasted on here. Following the last example, the replacement is not going to meet a friend but an alien abduction.

The purpose is to undermine the survivor if they do disclose. Not every scary lie a programmer tells is a cover memory, only overwrites containing these concepts.

How to Tell

This will depend. A replacement memory may appear hollow or 2-dimensional if poorly detailed, feel dissociated from every member of the system, not fit with other facts from that time period, or obviously contain deeper information.

There’s no surefire method of discerning which are which, but some memories will bubble up anyway. Body memories can be traced if you& choose to believe them, flashbacks and some nightmares turn up pieces to the puzzle of the body’s history. It’s important not to throw anything away.

Eventually you will find a method of sorting through memories and emotions to decipher a personal truth. If your& goal is fusion, everyone agreeing on this truth is helpful. Otherwise, you& can each find a reality that holds true to you.

So long as it isn’t damaging, some members may prefer a spiritual approach or hold different opinions about people or events. There might be some who can’t comprehend they were lied to. It will be a long journey, but it is not very different from any previous memory work.

Understanding brings healing, but you& are allowed to do whatever is right for your& system. Any trauma is awful, but RAMCOA is particularly dangerous when handled recklessly. Take it slow when it is safe to and take very good care of yourselves, individually and one another.

[little-fan-stories]

Hello 👋🏼 I’m the one who sent in the ask. It’s ok 👌🏼 these things happen (happens more to me than I am proud of). I was just asking for some of your headcanons about Simon. I also said that my headcanon was that Simon has nightmares of when he betrayed Asha and almost attacking her. He hasn’t gotten much sleep due to the fact. His friends slowly figure it out and help I’m any way they can. (It’s based off a fanfic I’m reading)

Sorry for the wait, hope you'll like it! I really loved writing these

I totally based it on your headcanon that Simon has nightmares about what he has done to Asha

So warning : angst

Also it ended up being more of a mix between headcanons and a fic

Warning movie spoilers :

the first weeks after what happened, he was isolating himself

even if his friends said he was forgiven he was still felling very bad for it

when they understood that, it became their mission to make him feel included and to show him he didn't had to be sorry

of course Gabo teased him about it, calling him a big villain or stuff like that

Simon was annoyed by that but didn't dare saying anything as he was still feeling like a traitor

when Gabo understood his teasing was taken too seriously by Simon, he stopped and found something less problematic to tease him about (without apologizing of course)

the all group tried to organize little events between them to cheer him up with the excuse that they all needed a break from their work

they were trying to not make it obvious their real goal was to help Simon

but of course they weren't really subtil

when Simon understood what was going on, it warmed his heart to see all of his friends trying their best to make him feel better and included

but even if it was going better with them, the nightmares were still there

nightmares where he was possessed by Magnifico, following Asha through the woods, then following each one of his friends, bringing them one by one to him, watching the king hurt them because of him...

that's usually when he wakes up, sweating, trembling, and starts to cry

except one night, where it was so much for him that he woke up screaming

a few minutes later, his friends knocked at the door and entered, worried for him

he couldn't hide how he was feeling anymore, and started to cry

no one said a word, they just gathered around him on the edges of his bed, and gave him a group hug, holding him until he was calmer

after that, they all went to Bazeema's hideout, puts load of blankets and pillows on the floor, brang their mugs with tea and hot cocoa and stayed here all night

they spend a big part of the night talking about what happened with Magnifico, trying to take it all out, to get things straight

they just needed to talk it all out, to be honest with each others

of course they were mad at Simon when he betrayed them, but also very confuse, but they understand his reasons and what's important is that he regrets

and they know he wouldn't intentionally hurt them, when he tried so he was possessed, it wasn't really him

after that, the conversation derived on other subjects, ending in a pillow fight

after that they were so tired, they all quickly fell asleep on the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor

after this night, the nightmares didn't stopped directly, but they were less and less frequent

and now everytime Simon has nightmares about what happened, he rethink about this night where he was surrounded by all his friends, and fall back asleep peacefully

[firstkanaphans]

would you maybe want to write a tiny something about aye having a nightmare while they are in an established relationship and Akk calming him down (similar to what we thought we got, but real this time! Man the kiss and the eye contact and then it was not even real, rude)

The fact that that kiss wasn’t real is my villain origin story. Also, you gave me an excuse to re-watch that scene, so thank you 💕

Akk had been dating Aye for over a year and yet he still wasn’t used to the nightmares. In some ways, he thought they haunted him more than they haunted Aye. Aye, at least, could sleep through them and sometimes they were so fleeting that he couldn’t even remember them the next morning. Akk never forgot.

He was so attuned to Aye—to both his pleasure and his pain—that at the first sign of a whimper, he snapped awake, wanting to protect. Wanting to heal. But luckily, over the past few months, the dreams had grown less frequent and, in turn, Akk had grown complacent. So when he awoke to Aye thrashing in the bed, begging a dead man not to jump, it took him a second to remember what to do.

He pulled Aye close and held him tight, stroking his hair, telling him over and over again that everything was going to be okay. After only a few seconds, Aye stilled. His tears stopped. His breath evened out.

Akk assumed he had drifted back to sleep, but when he looked down, he found Aye staring up at him, his eyes sparkling with a feeling Akk couldn’t quite name. It was love and awe and amazement all in one. Akk leaned down and kissed him softly on the forehead.

“Sorry,” Aye mumbled, nuzzling into Akk’s chest. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine,” Akk assured him. He didn’t mind being woken for this. It was important. He never wanted Aye to have to suffer through the darkness alone. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Aye shook his head. Akk wasn’t surprised. He rarely did. “Just hold me. Please.”

Akk nodded and cradled Aye in his arms, showing him that he was safe and loved. Soon, the boy's heartbeat slowed and Akk could feel him starting to drift back into the land of dreams.

“I bet you didn’t know living with me was going to be so disruptive to your sleep schedule,” Aye mumbled, half-asleep.

Akk chuckled. “I mean, I figured it would be. I just thought it would be for sex reasons.” 

Aye smacked him on the chest for that comment, but he didn’t bother to open his eyes. Akk stole the opportunity to watch him. It was rare to see Aye so at peace because sleep was not a peaceful place for him. Akk sat back and soaked it in, more in love now than he had been even the day before. It reminded him of the first time they had shared a bed and how both nothing and everything had changed since then.

“Have I ever told you about the first time I saw you having a nightmare?” Akk asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

This finally got Aye’s attention. He tilted his head up and frowned. “After we moved in together?”

“No,” Akk admitted. “The first night you slept over at my place.”

“Oh,” Aye said, growing very still. Akk almost regretted bringing it up, but he wanted Aye to know that he had gone into this relationship with eyes wide open and he had never once regretted it. “I’d forgotten about that.”

“That’s because you didn’t wake up. I held you—just like this—and it stopped. That was the first time that I…” Akk trailed off, embarrassed by the strength of his feelings, but if Aye was willing to be vulnerable with him, he could be vulnerable in return. “That was the first time I thought about kissing you.”

Aye snorted, a smile curling at his lips. “You saw how pathetic I was and decided you needed to lock that down?”

“No,” Akk said seriously. “I saw how strong you were.”

Aye’s face softened and he pulled Akk into a kiss so gentle, so sweet, that it touched him somewhere deep inside, knitting itself into the very fabric of his being.

“Thank you,” Aye said when he finally pulled away and then they both drifted off into a dreamless sleep, safe in each other’s arms.

[twistedtummies2]

Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 26

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “Truth brings closure.”

Number 26 is…Gil Grissom, from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

Perhaps it’s just me, but it feels like a lot of modern mystery shows today tend to veer more towards “crime drama” than your more classic “detective story.” These are shows that feature a more or less ensemble cast, rather than focusing primarily on a single chief investigator. Oh, there may be one or two characters more important than the rest, but at the end of the day, it’s less about one man or woman putting the pieces together, and more a group of people who all have different jobs, working together to stitch the greater puzzle into one solid whole. They try to focus more on “real” detective work (and I use the quotation marks because, even then, there’s usually some romanticization involved), rather than the old-fashioned ideal of the singular sleuth.

I’m not saying this as a complaint, by the way; there are many great shows that have come out of this, and lasted for long periods of time, because something about this formula is as appealing as any other. One of the most popular and long-running examples – as well as one of the first I remember seeing a lot growing up (perhaps more than was healthy, given the nightmares I remember occasionally having) – is “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.” The series, as its title implies, focuses on the adventures (if that’s an appropriate choice of word for them) of the CSI operatives of the Las Vegas Police Department. The show had a revolving door of cast members over the course of fifteen seasons (and, fittingly, fifteen years). While many characters came and went, for the first eight-and-a-half seasons of the program, if there was a main character to be found, it was this one: team leader Gil Grissom, played by William Petersen.

My biggest problem with CSI, to be honest, has always been its characters: with only a few exceptions, a lot of the members in the cast I just don’t feel were very interesting. I remember their faces, but I can’t tell you much when it comes to a lot of their personalities, and some characters I probably wouldn’t even remember by name if you asked me. I say all this because this was NOT the case for Gil Grissom: he is genuinely a really interesting, fun, unique character, and probably one of the best leads any crime series of this nature has ever had.

Grissom is a certified genius, who is known for being highly intellectual, and slightly eccentric. He’s fascinated by insects, being a passionate entomologist, but also has many other interests: history, literature, theatre, and art, among others. He speaks in a frequently poetic fashion, making references to various bits of trivia and offering moments of philosophical wisdom here and there. Ironically, he’s not that well-versed in a lot of pop culture references, despite all this. (I can relate.) Throughout the show, Petersen creates a wonderful character that is both detached and sensitive at the same time. On the one hand, Grissom isn’t made of stone; he can be irritated or unsettled by things around him, and he does sympathize with people and feel sorrow about situations beyond his control. He’s even got a spiritual side to his personality. However, he’s also a very logical and practical person: he’s a scientist, before all else, and believes in hard facts and evidence above all. He also doesn’t have many social graces, and will do bizarre and seemingly deranged things for the sake of proving a theory or testing a hypothesis. In short, he’s a bit like a modern day Sherlock Holmes…except maybe a bit less rude.

Part of the way through Grissom’s tenure, it was revealed that he was starting to go deaf, which signaled a change in his character. While he eventually got surgery to save his hearing, this paved the way for the character’s departure about halfway through Season 9. Later lead investigators would enter the series: first came Laurence Fishburne as Ray Langston, who had probably one of the most wild departures from the series to his credit. Following him was Ted Danson as D.B. Russell, who to HIS credit got an episode with an “Alice in Wonderland” theme. (For me, that’s always a plus.) Neither were bad characters – all three leads were the most memorable ones in the show, for me – but I never felt as attached to them as I did Grissom, possibly at least partially because they just weren’t around for as long as he was. For me, whenever I think of this show, I always think of Petersen as Gil Grissom before anybody else.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 25!

CLUE: “How did people survive before there were pattern-recognizing sparse representation algorithms?”

[mysterycharacterflowers]

Round 1; A bouquet of arborvitae, gladiolus and begonia Vs Spiderwort

If you know who they are, or are pretty sure of it, please don't tell until this poll has ended!

First, let's talk about the bouquet of arborvitae, gladiolus and begonia

Meaning and why these flowers were chosen: Arborvitae for his best friend, who he risked his own life to save multiple times. Gladiolus for strength and the ability to go on against all odds. Begonia for the danger he's constantly in. Description: Accidentally witnessed a murder at like 7 years old, and then years later ended up running into the murderer (Who had been more or less obsessively stalking him for 30 something years), and then his entire life is completely ruined by it. He ends up finding more bodies, attacked by a bunch of mascot characters, sees an entire factory of people get slaughtered, him and his best friend get kidnapped by previously mentioned murderer, his friend dies and becomes a giant shadow ghost, he gets drugged (and has a bad allergic reaction to it), and just barely manages to escape. The murderer who was after him dies, but the murderers daughter starts hunting him down instead. This all ends with a building exploding and him finally escaping all the chaos. Except also no, because now someone else has managed to kidnap him and is attempting to resurrect the original murderer via a mind controlling video game. Guys been traumatized dozens of times over, has constant nightmares, and sees ghosts. Also he's worn a skirt multiple times in the series (to the point where the skirt is genuinely a very important item) and looks great doing it

Check their post here

Now, let's talk about the Spiderwort

Meaning and why this flower was chosen: Its meanings in flower language are "Respect", "Wisdom" and "I respect you, but I'm not in love with you". Because each flower only last a day, it's also associated with temporary/transient happiness. It doesn't need to be watered frequently, meaning it doesn't need lots of attention to thrive. Also, because its petals turn into a blob of jelly instead of drying up, it's commonly called "Widow's tears" (which is very fitting for the character LOL) Description: He's a widower, and (supposedly) a retired cop/detective, that holds a lot of secrets close to his chest. His lies are directly responsible for his wife's death, leading to him going to prison and being investigated about his crimes. He has the greatest divorced energy I've ever seen. He made it very clear he was unhappy in his marriage, and even stopped wearing his wedding ring. He also smokes, and wears torn jeans at FORTY YEARS-OLD. He's very strong: has beaten every single other character in an arm-wrestling competition, has prevented 2(?) people from getting beaten up to death, and has canonically cut melons in half with his BARE FISTS. He is very associated with theater and magician motifs, mainly because he lies a LOT, and ends up misleading the investigation on what happened in his case. It's even implied that he lies about his sexuality, being closely associated with the "Green Apple of Sin" motif. So yeah, he's totally a closeted-gay king and the entire fandom knows this. Good for him!

Check their post here

[friendofcars]

hi i was reading your mask dream essay and was wondering what you thought of ronan thinking of adam in the mask dream when gansey accepts the molotov cocktail from kavinsky in chap 27 of tdt? i personally can't think of why he decided to connect those moments but perhaps u can. thanks if you choose to answer!

hi! so i will preface my response by saying i went back through some discussions in the trc book club discord server and a direct quote from me about this exact line is "tbh im a little befuddled by this connection" so i'll do my best (and if anyone has additional or opposing insight they'd like to share, please chime in if you'd like). this is a very rambling response so please ask for clarification if you'd like/if you need to!

i originally tried quite hard to glean additional insight into ronan and adam's relationship from that line- and their relationship is certainly relevant, but i think the main purpose of the line is to provide insight into ronan's perception of gansey in a specific context (although to be fair, the context, which is at kavinsky's infamous substance party, circles back to adam for a variety of reasons*). in short, ronan observes a more toothful version of gansey, so he is reminded of the more toothful version of adam from the mask nightmare.

but i do want to think about this a bit more. here are what i see as the purposes of having ronan recall adam in the mask nightmare:

to draw comparisons/contrasts amongst gansey, kavinsky, and adam. the obvious contrast throughout the chapter is between gansey and kavinsky: the beginning of the chapter highlights how rare it is for gansey to exist in kavinsky's henrietta (darker, more electric, what else??), gansey only making an appearance in defense of his own henrietta (monmouth), but they both represent possible paths for ronan, possible leaders, possible approaches to life and magic, etc. it is even rarer for adam and kavinsky to cross paths on page. how does gansey act in an environment when his presidential mask is a hindrance rather than an asset? does he become more similar to ronan? to kavinsky? to adam? to ronan's nightmare adam only??? the important thing is that ronan is thinking about all three of them. is gansey on fire another mask, or it is a truer component of gansey himself? it's gansey's realest and wildest version of himself from ronan's pov, at least. the mention of the mask invites us to think of things like facades, secrets, public vs private personas, mutlifaceted beings, etc.

to remind the reader that ronan is frequently thinking about adam and is easily reminded of him (in both chapters 9 and 27, adam is absent, ronan experiences complicated emotional reactions that obscure his attraction to gansey, kavinsky, and adam [the attraction is obscured to him; it's pretty clear to the reader, especially if you're re-reading], and then he makes some sort of comparison to adam. in ch 9, he's homesick and angry and thinks of adam, about to break, and how ronan has seen himself in the mirror about to break in the same way. in ch 27, he sees a fiercer, more assertive, less reticent gansey and thinks of adam in the dream, when adam was fierce and assertive and wild too. worth noting that ronan is the fiercest and most reckless out of the three of them- what do we learn about ronan as he sees or imagines his friends acting more like him? it seems exhilarating in ch 27 (gansey), but terrifying in ch 17 (adam in the nightmare). what are the consequences of gansey being more ronan like? is ronan into this? (yes lol it's his canonical favorite version of gansey). are these toothful versions of gansey and adam also more kavinsky-like? is ronan aware of this?

*some related thoughts that somewhat restate the above bullet point: reference to adam is somewhat second secret-like as in ronan is confronted w guys he's attracted to and adam isn't there- but of course he's reminded of him. of course (is it at night? is everything worse? is he surrounded by desire- but without the self hatred? i don't think the tone in the substance party chapter is depressive at all- it's exhilarating for ronan, but there's almost a melancholy aftertaste because ronan knows this toothful gansey, this gansey on fire, is ephemeral. he's forced to compare gansey and kavinsky- as the beginning of the chapter implies, he can't have both. of course. the reason i'm saying this setting is adam relevant bc ronan feels like the choice is between gansey and kavinsky- he doesn't see adam as an option- that's a flippant way to put it and i'm thinking not only in terms of idk, romantic prospects, but also in terms of a philosphy/approach to life and relationships and creativity and power and magic and love and... [on a related note: he has yet to realize that the realest choice is choosing himself, life vs death/self-hatred] and now i'm thinking all kind of thoughts about adam's third choice that he makes himself, you know the whole two of swords arc in trb..... another post perhaps.)

he doesn't spare much of a reaction re: adam and the mask in this chapter (it seems to be a fairly fleeting thought), which was pervasively terrifying in the nightmare and mundane at the barns and when thought of at the substance party- no fear, no revulsion, no concern- just a passing thought. it's noise; adam is a constant undercurrent in his thoughts (second secret lyricless melody playing in the background), and in this context is mainly adding to ronan's observations about gansey and kavinsky and how they're alike/how they differ rather than adam as a primary topic.

we could also talk a little about the term toothful, which out of context just means having visible/prominent teeth, but in ronan's narration is correlated with assertiveness, maybe even ferocity. the lynch brothers (mainly ronan and declan) are often described as having excellent teeth- this could be a nod to their affluence, but symbolically, they will 'bite' when necessary to assert themselves in social situations. there's also a line about ronan's 'prison of teeth' in trb which brings me to the topic of secrets, which for ronan is in league w shame, desire, etc. which are relevant to both the nightmare chapter and the substance party chapter. that's a more tenuous connection though (imo). also thinking about desperation, about hunger, how in trk adam and ronan are described as hungry animals. i'm also pretty sure kavinsky gets described as hungry looking at some point, maybe from blue's perspective in ch 6? the mitsubishi's grille is described as voracious, which i think counts anyway. is showing teeth offense or defense? does this vary from character to character? are the toothful actions truthful? lies? shields? confessions?

i also can't ignore the line that tells us this gansey on fire has made fewer appearances since the "introduction of adam's taming presence" which opens too many cans of worms to address right now but i'm fascinated by the fact that ronan sees adam as a taming presence- it's such a contrast to the nightmare adam, so perhaps ronan is afraid a connection with adam will corrupt adam, will make him wild in an ugly way, even though it turns out that ronan's influence on adam (esp. in bllb) is more freeing than anything. adam also seems himself as wild, unrefined, etc. as mentioned in most of his self deprecating narrations, the conceptualization of his family through animal, ecological, etc. metaphors... so in general this plays into the recurring trc theme of self-perception vs how people who love you perceive you and the shape of the space between these two conceptual 'people,' but it also intimates that gansey has molded himself to be more diplomatic and refined and restrained after meeting adam, which could be gansey trying to avoid conflict, or trying to impress adam, or not wanting to put adam in any more danger than he's already in, or a variety of other things that ronan, prone to jealousy, might be worried about. i think the truth is closest to some version of gansey wanting adam to stick around so badly that he's afraid of scaring him off. so much to consider.

another topic to consider- not so much directly related to your question, but while we're at the substance party, fire! the molotov cocktail, autonomy, self immolation, choice (gansey throwing the fire at the volvo instead of the mistubishi....so many choices made as thematic elements of these books...), obedience, kavinsky's death by dragon....ronan's love being described as fire about a billion times in this chapter but also the ocean burning in trk, gansey on fire of course! not only toothful but on fire- gansey being more aligned with ronan-like qualities again. should we mention that the mask is wooden? vulnerable to fire? that seems worth noting. another possible tangent- masks vs sunglasses. gansey's glasses (which are pointedly not masks) vs kavinsky's sunglasses. concealment vs confession. i also have listed in my notes the following: duality, fluctuating personas, masks and facets, beauty vs violence, tools vs weapons, ronan's love and rage and hunger reflected onto his friends... so much to think about

i'm also interested in the fact that after gansey throws the molotov cocktail at the volvo, ronan feels as if he's in a dream (not a nightmare). there's still a confluence of desire and shame for him (he describes his elation at the situation as "polluted pleasure") but i'm chewing on the possible reasons why this situation is less terrifying for him than the non-literal aspects of the mask nightmare scenario-in both situations, gansey and adam have power over ronan- gansey holds a weapon, adam is a nightmare version of himself, an omen of demonic corruption that we see in trk (see: love/connection as vulnerability, avenue of harm, adam's fear of hurting his friends, etc.), but i think they key difference (aside from the obvious difference between being awake at a very real party vs being stuck in a vivid nightmare of psychological chaos) is that ronan does not fear losing gansey- he's afraid for gansey's life, but as long as gansey is alive, ronan has him in his corner. at this point in the series, he doesn't believe the same re: adam, especially in the context of adam's sacrifice to cabeswater/ronan's guilty conscience. he seems relieved? electrified? that gansey could be like him. he seems terrified that adam could be too.

this is starting to go in circles but i'm sharing everything in case a particular detail catches someone's attention and sparks more conversation. :)

[gooeyslime]

Pins and Needles

Inspired by "Idea 16" from @halogenrobotics's list of ideas, he also helped out a lot by being the beta reader and helping out with writing the fic as well!

Read it on AO3 here or just click the read more.

Vanessa finds out that she can learn any skill that Vanny learned while she was in control of her body, however she doesn't find it very useful considering what most of her skills were used for... Until one day she finds a way to help Gregory by fixing something that is very important to him.

It had been a few months since that night, and life had started to seem normal again. The animatronics had all been wiped of the virus and had gained Gregory’s trust and Vanessa had also managed to gain their trust after she had explained what had happened to her. They had all been able to make a strange but functional family unit of sorts.

For Vanessa, most of the past several months had been spent trying to get over Vanny and get back to being more like her old self. For the most part she had been quite successful, her nightmares had been getting less intense and less frequent. She had started doing a lot of her old hobbies again. 

As she got better and had started Vanessa had found that she had gained some new skills from her time of being mind controlled. When she discovered these skills, usually by accident, she made an effort to never ever use them, as they were a reminder of HER. This had been quite easy for the most part, as no situation had arisen where these “skills” were needed…until one day…

—

Gregory had been playing truth or dare with his classmates during recess. Everyone was trying to outdo the previous person with each successive challenge.

“Alright Gregs, truth or dare?” the next kid asked him.

“Dare!” he grinned, “Make it a good one.”

“Alright" the kid said before he began to look around for the perfect dare. After a few seconds he had selected one. "I got it!” the kid said while pointing at the tallest tree in the schoolyard. “You gotta climb up that tree and sit on the highest branch you can reach!”

“Bet” Gregory replied as he grinned and sprinted towards the tree. He started climbing while his classmates cheered him on. After several seconds he reached a branch halfway up the tree that looked sturdy enough to hold his weight and sat on it. “Haha I did it!" Gregory yelled victoriously. "Alright then, now it's my turn, Hm…” Before he could choose the next kid, the branch snapped with a loud CRACK! Gregory braced himself, only for his fall to abruptly stop before he hit the ground. When he looked behind him he noticed that his shirt had caught on a small branch and ripped. He hung there for a few more seconds before his shirt ripped all the way, and he fell the remaining distance to the ground.

“Gregory! Are you ok?” The other kids asked as he slowly stood up, groaning as the movement made the bruises on his hands and knees hurt more.

“I’m fine…” he said while looking up at where he had fallen from. He definitely would have broken something if his shirt didn’t stop his fall. Wait, his shirt! Gregory realized that he could feel the cool air against his back. He reached behind himself to check and discovered that his shirt had ripped “Ah! My shirt!” he cried.

“Yeah, it’s pretty much gone…” a girl said as she showed Gregory a picture she took, his shirt had been nearly torn in half, he quickly got up as he came up with a plan to avoid anyone finding out about what happened to his shirt.

“Ok, I just need to sneak by Freddy, get to my room, and change shirts. Then I’ll have time to think of a better fix for…this…” He sighed, Vanessa had texted him telling him she had been busy at work and wouldn’t have been able to pick him up from school today. This had been quite a lucky break, as this way he was able to prevent her finding out about the shirt and his poor attempt at ‘fixing’ it with tape. “I managed to sneak by a bunch of killer animatronics in a mall, I can do this.” Gregory said to himself.

He slowly opened the door, trying his best to make as little noise as possible, looking at the small gap to make sure the coast was clear and-

“Welcome back, superstar!” Freddy smiled, as much as his plushie body could smile, as he stood by the front door. “You are hurt, what happened?” he asked, noticing the bandaids on Gregory’s hands and knees.

“I, uh, was playing truth or dare…”

“And…?”

“Someone dared me to climb a tree and I did but… The branch broke and I fell…” he sighed as he tried to quickly get to his room. “Look, it’s not a big deal, I just need to go and change my shirt before Vanessa-” right before he could finish speaking the front door opened again.

“Oh hey Gregory, sorry again for not being able to pick you up today but I had to help Luis with something at work and-” she paused as she noticed his appearance. “What happened to you?”

“Gregory fell off a tree.” Freddy said, far too casually, and Gregory regretted saying it wasn’t a big deal given the animatronic had taken his word far too literally.

For a few seconds, nothing happened. Everyone just sort of stared at each other. Then Vanessa finally processed what Freddy had just told her and broke the silence.

“You WHAT?!” She yelled, eyes filled with worry as she walked closer to check his injuries. “Are you ok? Did you break anything? Did you hit your head? How many fingers-” “I’m fine!” he yelled out to get her to stop, he didn’t mind Vanessa worrying about him but he disliked the way she would always panic whenever he got hurt. If he could handle the Pizzaplex he could handle falling off a tree.

She took a deep breath and nodded, she was still worried but at least she wasn’t gonna act like he was dying. “I take it the shirt got ruined in the fall too?”

“Yeah…” he sighed while gripping at the hem of his shirt. “Please don’t throw it away…” 

If it had been any other shirt he wouldn’t have cared as much, however the one he wore was one of the few things he had from his old life. Everything else in his old home had been either sold or given away and while he saw Vanessa and Freddy as family he still cared about his mother as well. “Even if I can’t wear it anymore just don’t-” “Hey, we’re not throwing it away, ok?” she interrupted while placing a hand on his shoulder. “I just wish I could fix it but I don’t know how.”

“You… don’t…?” he asked, tilting his head in confusion. “But… Uh…” “Vanessa, forgive my bluntness, but wasn’t Vanny’s costume made of fabric?” the animatronic asked. 

Vanessa tensed at the mention of HER name. Her mind was filled with images of all the people Vanny killed while controlling her body, gleefully laughing as she struggled to regain control of her body. She took a deep breath to calm herself down…

“Y-Yeah, it was Freddy, why do you ask?” 

“That means it had to be sewn together, correct?”

“Oh… Well, yes…”

“Then, do you think it might be possible for you to still remember how to sew?”

“Probably but… most of her memories are about…” Vanessa trailed off. She had tried to look through HER memories once but the first ones that had come to her were about the murders. It was almost as if the memories themselves carried Vanny’s spite towards her.

“Hey, it’s ok. You don’t have to suffer for a dumb shirt, I’ll just keep it like this…” Gregory said as he played with the hem of his shirt.

“No, I’m going to do it.” she smiled as she patted him on the back. “You’ve done so much for me these past months, it’s the least I can do to pay you back…”

Gregory was slightly taken aback by this. He knew how difficult dealing with Vanny in general was for her. Despite that Vanessa still wanted to do it for him because of how much that shirt meant to him. “I- Thank you, Vanessa…” he replied after a pause.

“You’re welcome kiddo, now go get changed and give me the shirt once you’re done.” Vanessa requested.

Gregory went into his room and changed into a new shirt. He gave his ripped one to Vanessa. 

“Alright, you and Freddy can play some games while I try and figure out how to fix this ok?” Vanessa asked.

“Yeah that’s fine,” Gregory replied, before closing the door.

She then went to her room, grabbed an old sewing kit that she had just left in her drawer and sat in silence for a bit. 

“Alright, I can do this…” 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to access Vanny’s memories. Suddenly she was no longer in her room, chasing kids around the Pizzaplex before killing them as slowly and painfully as possible while SHE laughed at their agony.

She quickly opened her eyes, her heart drumming in her chest as she held her head in her hands. “She’s gone, she can’t hurt anyone anymore… Just breathe…” 

After taking a few deep breaths to calm down she closed her eyes once again, bracing herself as the images of all of Vanny’s victims flashed before her eyes again. After a while the memories finally got less violent, she saw her build the remote that allowed her to order the animatronics around, training her body and finally making the Vanny costume.

The memory was surprisingly peaceful, her movements were quick but careful. After watching her sew for a bit Vanessa opened her eyes and grabbed a needle and some thread.

             "Alright, this doesn't seem too hard. I just have to copy the movements." Vanessa said to herself as she started the process.

At first her movements were slow and uncertain but after a while muscle memory kicked in and she picked up the pace. After around half an hour Vanessa had reached the bottom of the rip and closed it up. Vanessa then looked over the shirt, turning it over in her hands a few times. She gave it a few small tugs to see if the stitches would rip. They held strong.

"Alright, that looks pretty good to me." Vanessa said to herself as she got up from her chair. She stretched her back a bit before walking over to her bedroom door.

—

“I know I said it wasn’t a big deal but I said it so you wouldn’t freak out!” Gregory sighed. He had been trying to explain to Freddy why he shouldn’t have told Vanessa about him falling off a tree so casually for what felt like forever.

“I am sorry superstar, however I am programmed to take what I’m told quite literally.” Freddy said apologetically.

Before he could reply to the animatronic, there was a small knock on the door. It was Vanessa, “Hey Gregory, it’s me.” she said.

He quickly opened the door, looking at the folded shirt in her hands. “Did you fix it…?”

“Yep! I tried my best, I hope I did a good enough job for you.” she said while handing him the shirt.

Gregory took the shirt and stared at it for a while, turning it over in his hands a few times. His expression didn't change much and for a second Vanessa began to get worried that she had made a mistake somehow.

Then Gregory placed the shirt onto his bed, walked over to Vanessa, and hugged her. She was slightly caught off guard by his reaction, but quickly hugged him back.

“Thank you, Vanessa. You really didn't…” he said, with tears in his eyes. “Hey, it’s the least I could do for my little knight.” she smiled, feeling proud that she could help him after all the help he has given her. “You can always count on me, Gregory.”

[ikamigami]

Regarding Sun's mental issues.

TW/CW: serious topic regarding mental health, depressive psychosis, mentions of various self-destructive behaviours which are symptoms of depressive psychosis.

Please, remember to be compassionate and understanding because it's really delicate and serious topic. I don't want to bring hate. I'm here to bring some awereness.

I know that I've talked about this already but I wanted to state all of my thoughts on Sun's mental issues in one post.

More specifically I wanted to talk about the fact that people were too harsh towards Sun during his "going solo after Eclipse" arc.

I believe that Sun was not only on a verge of mental breakdown but he also had psychotic episode. I don't know how many of you know what psychosis is that's why I wanted to make this post to bring awereness to this type of problems.

I also believe that killing Bloodmoon triggered Sun and he ended having a psychotic episode. But let me explain firstly that I believe that when Sun was killing Bloodmoon, he most definitely had PTSD and he relived that moment when he banished Eclipse from his head. I think Sun had PTSD during that moment with BM because of how similar were things BM said to Sun to the things Eclipse told him then. That's why Sun aimed straight for the head because it's something he's doing without thinking like we could see in many gaming episodes.

Some time after Sun killed BM psychotic episode started. And now you need to understand that when someone has psychotic episode it's not their fault and it's not like they can stop it. There wasn't anything Sun could do to stop having psychotic episode. The true problem is that no one helped Sun. Or to be more accurate "the help" of others wasn't exactly the help Sun needed at such hard time he had.

I also think that it wasn't the first time Sun had psychotic episode but this one was definitely the major one, maybe even the biggest one he had. And I understand that others don't have to know what exactly they should do during situations like that if they encountered it for the first time (the first time when they could realise that there is truly a serious problem here with Sun).

That's why I'm not that mad at Lunar or Moon (but Moon could do better than he did). I'm more angry at people who kept saying that Sun should've known better or should've listen to Moon or shouldn't have been angry at Lunar. Because Sun didn't know better at that time, Sun couldn't listen to Moon at that time, Sun couldn't do anything about being angry and agitated which he expressed it all on Lunar at that time. He couldn't do anything about all of this during psychotic episode and definitely during such a major one. Because it doesn't work like that.

You may think that saying that Sun had psychotic episode is a stretch but he had Bloodmoon's hallucination among many others symptoms of psychosis. And I strongly believe that Sun has a depressive psychosis. Many symptoms are there, such as:

agitation

anxiety

persistent low mood (in Sun's case he's more irritated than sad as we could see in many episodes)

lost of interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy (we could see that Sun isn't as happy with his daycare attendant duties as he used to, sometimes we could see that he wasn't enjoying playing games even the ones he really likes (it's important to remember that Sun is hiding his depression so it's not always easy to tell that he has depression)

sleeping difficulties (we know that hallucinations keep Sun awake at night and we know that he has nightmares very often if not daily)

having less energy than usual or being more fatigued

changes in movement, such as increased restlessness or a sense of being slowed down

difficulty concentrating or making decisions

frequent feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, self-hatred, or guilt

frequent thoughts of death, dying, or suicide (the last one is only implied for now)

hallucinations (Bloodmoon; I also believe that Sun has hallucinations related to July 16th incident)

delusions or believing things that aren't true (mostly I think that Sun truly believes that everything is his fault and he's evil; it's also implied for now but it isn't a far fetched statement).

I also think that Sun has a Major Depressive Disorder with mood-congruent psychotic features because it's stated that in this type of Depressive Psychosis hallucinations and delusions reflect feelings and emotions that often show up with depression, including feelings of personal inadequacy, worthlessness, guilt, and fears about illness or death which fits Sun's current state of mind perfectly.

It's also worth to mention that psychotic episode usually is developing over a period of 2 weeks and we know (more or less, mostly we can assume) that it wasn't a long time between Sun killing Bloodmoon and him going after Eclipse. And also usually person fully recovers from psychotic episode within few months, weeks or days and we know that it is only slightly more than a month after Sun's mental breakdown which he had during psychotic episode.

I also believe that Sun didn't gain depressive psychosis because he killed Bloodmoon, I think he suffered from it since July 16th incident for sure. It was very traumatic event in Sun's life which may lead to developing psychosis among with depression. Because I think that Sun's untreated PTSD after that incident (and also after what was happening with Moon and kill code when they still shared a body) further worsened his mental issues which could led to developing psychosis. But if Sun mental issues still will be left untreated it may lead to developing bipolar disorder. Because untreated psychosis may cause Sun to have worse episodes each time. It doesn't always end up with one having a bipolar disorder but it may end up like that.

Situation is already bad but it can be worse and the worst case scenario is that Sun may end up taking his own life. Many people with untreated depressive psychosis end up taking their own life or with attempting suicide. The risk is very high on such cases.

That's why I'm so scared and worried for Sun. Because the only one who somewhat helped Sun (to some extent) is Earth. But it's definitely not enough. Sun still suffer from depressive psychosis which we know from the lore episode with Amanda the adventurer. Bloodmoon's hallucination still haunts Sun. Sun needs a professional help in my opinion.

It's also worth mentioning that it's not that weird or surprising that Sun never told anyone about any of this because people with depressive psychosis often don't open up about their issues. It's truly on others to help a person with such problem. That's why I hope that with my explanations people will stop blaming Sun for acting like he was during his "going solo after Eclipse" arc because it isn't his fault. He had psychotic episode and that's it. Others such as Moon or Lunar were the ones that should help Sun then but they didn't or they help wasn't actually helpful. I'm not totally blaming them for that because like I said it was the first time Sun had such a major psychotic episode which let them realise that there was something wrong happening with Sun.

I hope that this post will bring more awereness to such issues in general and that people will stop being so harsh towards Sun.

Lastly, I'll say that I appreciate the work both Davis and Reed are putting into depiction of various mental issues in S.A.M.S. and that they're treating it seriously. Also the depiction of Sun having depressive psychosis is very accurate to the point that the symptoms are visible and during Sun's "going solo after Eclipse" arc I could easily see and assume without being afraid it's a stretch that Sun had psychotic episode then.