#Also manatees because that's what they remind me of

[angrybatart]

Just own up to it, already. Nobody's THAT mad at you... if you'd own up to it...

[agaypanic]

First off your username is a whole ass mood, also, could I request a fic with Klaus Baudelaire? Their on the Qeequeg and reader gets jealous of Fiona and her flirting with klaus. I’m a whore for Klaus Baudelaire

Guess (Klaus Baudelaire X GN!Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: Y/n has been with the Baudelaires since they showed up on Monty’s doorstep. When they board the Queequeg, Y/n can’t help the jealousy overcome when Fiona gets a little too close to Klaus.

A/N: I can’t remember the exact plot of the grim grotto, so in this they’re all just kinda hanging out on the Queequeg ig lol

***

If you had asked Y/n L/n where they saw themself in a few months, they wouldn’t have guessed all the unfortunate events they and the Baudelaires had experienced. Bouncing from guardian to guardian, only tagging along with the Baudelaires because the late Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, their own guardian, was tragically murdered and coincidentally wanted Y/n to be taken care of by the also late Josephine Anwhistle. Being chased down by a homicidal, overgrown theater kid after the Baudelaire fortune. 

They also wouldn’t have guessed their current predicament, being stuck in a submarine captained by a teenager. Her name was Fiona Widdershins. She had become captain of the Queeqeug ever since her stepfather got a distress call from a manatee. She was looking for a sugar bowl, the same one that the Baudelaire’s former guardian Esme Squalor was after. 

She was also very captivating, especially to a certain Baudelaire. And it pissed Y/n off.

Klaus wasn’t theirs; they knew that. Y/n was constantly reminded of that. But watching as he and Fiona worked closely together to locate the sugar bowl, flirty remarks from her every now and then, Y/n couldn’t stop the jealousy from overcoming them.

“He doesn’t even know her,” Y/n muttered as she watched the two laugh at a joke from afar. 

“You know,” Y/n was startled by Violet’s sudden presence beside them, “You could tell him how you feel. It would be better than moping around, watching the two of them.”

“Absolutely not.” Y/n shook the ridiculous idea away. “That would end in disaster.”

“How so?”

“When Klaus rejects me-”

“He won’t.”

“Fine. If he rejects me, we’ll still be stuck together in a submarine until God knows when. And the situation’s awkwardness would be so suffocating that I would jump out into the sea to escape it.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” Violet laughed at the visual of Y/n’s words. “Klaus won’t reject you, Y/n. I know it.”

“Then why is he flirting with Fiona right in front of us like that?”

“He probably doesn’t see it as flirting, just regular conversation. Klaus may be book smart, but he’s not exactly versed in things like relationships.”

Y/n knew this was true. They had known the Baudelaires long enough to know that they weren’t very experienced when it came to romantic feelings. Most of the experience they did have was from the people they had encountered when their unfortunate events had first started to occur.

“Whatever, I’m still not gonna tell him.”

“Tell who what?” Y/n was again startled by another Baudelaire sibling, Klaus. It seemed that Fiona had gone to steer the submarine in the needed direction, because she was out of the room. 

“Actually, we were talking about-” Y/n put their hand over Violet’s mouth to stop her from exposing them.

“Nothing!” Y/n had said that louder than they intended to. They cleared their throat. “We weren’t talking about anything.”

Klaus gave Violet a look. Y/n couldn’t decipher what the look meant, he looked confused, but there was some kind of message in his eyes. Violet apparently knew the message because she made up some excuse to leave.

“I’ll go check on Sunny.” She left quickly, leaving Klaus and Y/n alone in the room.

“Shouldn’t you go back to Fiona?” Y/n immediately hit themself mentally for the question. Why did they feel the need to bring Fiona up now that she and Klaus had finally taken a break from flirting with each other?

“Why would I go back to Fiona?” Klaus looked even more confused. Y/n couldn’t help rolling their eyes.

“Why wouldn’t you? You two were flirting and close together so much that I’m half surprised you didn’t start kissing right there.” Why was Y/n digging themself into an even deeper hole?

Klaus laughed.

Why the hell was he laughing?

“Y/n, are you jealous?” He asked, looking intently at them. They averted their eyes, knowing that looking at him would reveal everything. They didn’t feel like jumping out of the submarine right now.

“That’s absurd.” They scoffed. “Public displays of affection are just disgusting, that’s all.” Klaus laughed again.

“Disgusting? Really?” He took Y/n’s hands in his, making them look at him. “Y/n, there was nothing affectionate about my conversations with Fiona.”

“Maybe not on your side, but she seemed to think differently.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t want to see some girl flirting with the guy I like. Is that such a crime?” Y/n started punching themself on the inside again. Klaus looked pleasantly surprised.

“Last time I checked, it’s not.” Y/n couldn’t understand why he was being so cheeky. “If it makes you feel any better, though, I have it on good authority that the guy you like isn’t interested in Fiona.”

Oh. 

“Oh, um… Is the guy I like interested in anyone?” Y/n asked. They had a feeling where this was going, but you could never be too sure about these kinds of things. Klaus nodded.

“Yes, he seems to like a particular someone.”

“And that is?”

Klaus moved closer to Y/n, leaning down. Their lips were so close to touching yet so far.

“Guess.”

[deerydear]

I painted this after I woke up from a dream.

In this dream... We were out in the middle of a pine forest. There was a log cabin where the other men lived. Doctor Lecter and I were visiting.

We talked, and I sat and endured the conversations they all had. I was trapped in my own little iceberg of self-torment.

As if... all Life would send out its feelers towards me, and then stop, shrink up, and go the other direction...

So they all had tea. It was rather dark in the cabin. There weren't a lot of windows, or else most of them were covered up. No candles. Just a thin stream of gentle blue daylight filtering in from the kitchen, somewhere...

This also reminds me of a dream where I poisoned a bunch of people.

They were all sitting around a round table, eating the food I had cooked.

The people started projectile-vomiting copious amounts of black sludge. It reminded me of Sweeney Todd, for whatever reason.

I think of this, because they had a window behind the kitchen table.... with a criss-cross pattern dividing it up into many little windows. The blinds were down, and the sheer shades were closed. It had much the same effect of light as this room with the men.

So, we had been there for a while... and some of the guests were leaving. Soon, I was alone with Hannibal and one other man.

I was slouched over, in a sour mood... I didn't want to be there. I didn't know where I wanted to be, so I let the moment pull me like a current.

One thing led to another, and I took out a flintlock pistol and I shot the other man. I began to gasp for air, panic. Then, Lecter tried to shush me. He wanted me to relax.

Did I tell you that my name was Graham?

Well, at some point.... my memory turns to sludge.

I ran. I unlatched the door, I ran out into the broad daylight. It was so bright outside. I almost had forgotten. The trees were swaying in the wind...

I came to the rocky lakeshore.

A giant animal stuck its head out of the water. It was a Manatee, chewing sea-grass in the familiar manner of a cow. It had a long, long neck... and it looked at me with familiar affection.

This was a long time ago, but in the state I had been in... I was like a Starving Man in the Land of Plenty. Someone would reach out their hands to me, and I would have run away for dear Life. ......Dear Death?

Did I love Death more than Life?

Well, I was in this mind-state. My mind was grasping for some point of familiarity.... something to right itself upon.

Something to feel like I knew something? To be superior in knowledge...

So, in this disconnected state... I grasped onto the two little pinpricks of light that I saw.

It was like there was a burlap bag over my head, and the holes where the lights came in were stars.

I wanted to create a menagerie of constellations.... of MEANING.

but the truth was that I could take the bag off, and see the full glory of the light, and the picture of the world.

So, in my dream, I tried to put two and two together.

I yelled at this gentle giant. I remember I said, "Plesiosaurs ate fish, not plants!"

My reasoning was that I thought this was supposed to be "the Loch Ness monster" and a common theory was that Nessie was a Plesiosaur. You see all the assumptions I had just made about someone in a dream?

Well, that gentle beast recedes.

It stuck its head back in the water..... and OUT EMERGED A WAXY RED FACE, WITH TWO BIG BLACK HORNS!

OH YES, YOU ASKED FOR A PLESIOSAUR, HAVE YOU SURE GOT ONE!

AND IT CHASED ME AROUND THE SHORELINE WITH ITS LONG, TELESCOPIC NECK!

In the commotion, I woke up.

.......

"I actually saw the Loch Ness monster when I was 9" -- Thom Yorke

SOMEONE ELSE SAW IT!

I really felt like it could have gone differently. I felt very agentive in this dream.

I felt that it was trying to show me something about my own mind.

It wasn't that I was trying to find my way out of the burlap bag... I already knew what life was like outside of it.

I wanted to put my pants on my head, and run around like a retard!

I wanted to play pretend. I wanted to find the meaning in that starry sky. I wanted it to be more than just the inside of a burlap bag!

Maybe once before, I had been shoved inside of a bag... but it was for a brief time, but the experience haunted me.

I kept going back, like an autoerotic-asphyxiator... seeking that high I once felt.

Seeking the dark, dark depths, and the light within the dark... but the light of the dark is no different than the light outside.

It all loops around, you see?

[eimearkuopio]

I love it! Thank you for sharing this story, you've made my day.

💚💜🩷

Love from Auntie Kindness Bones, PhD

I've been a warrior all along, but patriarchal BS meant they thought I was the Grace of Our Lady, but I only bend the knee to Our Lady of Tooth and Claw, and I won't look back. There's a fire under the shiny altar I keep lying to.

Sorry about the word salad. Apparently this is my life now, but at least I know I'm Neutral Good. If I was either Lawful or Chaotic, that would kind of suck for everyone else; but it's probably for the best that I'm not going for true neutral either, because life requires change and that means imbalance. I'm not above putting a little finger with a backwards knuckle bone on humanity's side of the scales. After all, I'm only human. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

See you soon, love{s}. I think my eyes are still green, which means I still have work to do, but I'm done being a solo act. (Hi Britney! Thanks for reminding me about The Ring{s}.)

Couldn't have done it without the extras and the ensemble, but I want to call out Paloma Faith, R_NB, and Lisa L in particular. They kept me from falling to pi[s/e]ces while I was in the eye of the hurricane. They taught me the Way, either without knowing any more of the Story or the Context than I did, or without spoiling me so that I could be River Song instead of Melody Pond or River Tam. I'll let S_M handle the rest of the credits, because I think it might be my day off. I'm not Jewish, but Shabbat Shalom to me. Tell M_M that tomorrow will be Thursday 24.10.2024 and I just had my first re-birthday. I've already told people what I want, but just in case:

Nobody deliberately hurts my loved ones ever again. We get our lives. Institutions get what scraps we can spare. Individuals get whatever surplus we have, but it will take time to reach a new equilibrium safely, so we all need to be patient at least a little longer. I think by 5th November things should be unquangled fully, but I keep telling people I might be wrong.

My notes. From DNH, from home, from my office. Moved somewhere I can continue the work instead of abandoning it, but where it won't stress Ad out.

Green eyes. My own secret name that someone should tell me, because this only worked in the first place because I gave all my names away. ...ah, okay, yeah, thank you, I got that. Thanks, T.

A seat at my own table (currently in Kuopio afaik, but I'm very patient; and while you're getting it from Anne P's parents maybe grab the books etc. that are being stored with it.

For people to listen to my concerns genuinely, because by the time I speak up, it's already almost too late anyway.

Peace in the Middle East for me, and in Ukraine for my husband. I don't know how to make it happen, but maybe ask M_Fa. She's married to D_m if you don't know who I mean, but also, you can ask me stuff. If I'm not completely bananas by now, just asking questions won't do any harm.

-Swan not Cleon or Ajax (ask LMM, if I'm Chesed he's one of the adjacent Sefirot even though I've never met him; and if I'm not Chesed, I don't mind just being a worker instead of a warrior, but I'm allergic to Royal Jelly so you're going to have to find a new Queen if you want me to stop droning on and get down to buzz-ness at UMH)

Left eye worse than right eye but I think I should see an optician when I get out of here. I probably won't go to Mr Manuel, I know my whole family does because he's great but I don't want to have to wait until Dublin to get my eyes checked.

-Rembrandt the Warrior (remember the d and the t are both necessary; and I'm not Atlas, but I just shrugged and did a trick, so I guess I'm a loose seal too, rather than a mermaid or a siren or a huge manatee)

Yes, I did put Warriors on shuffle. That's how it works here. I'm the Tabernacle. Be not afraid. I'm still here, I'm finally me, and that means you are too. 144009-Love, Dennis Moon Moon God of the Zeroth House XO xo ox OX -Luisa

[jodilin65]

Earlier this morning, I planned to have a mani-pedi, but the salon was closed. Instead, we visited Treasure Mart during a nice mini thunderstorm, a place we hadn’t been to in many months. We spotted some cute things that caught our eye, but they were a bit pricey, so we decided not to make any purchases. There was a figurine I almost bought; it was nice, but nothing extraordinary. Nonetheless, it was refreshing to get out. We strolled through the aisles of the large store for nearly an hour. Towards the end, I suddenly felt exhausted, realizing I need to be more active to build endurance to avoid getting tired easily. Because of it, he moved the treadmill back into the living room. I just don’t get enough of a workout hitting the road in VR.

Tomorrow, I’m scheduled to visit the salon, and on Thursday, I have a painting class at the clubhouse.

The hammering next door has begun. I’m guessing this is where they start hammering down the borders. I don’t see a truck over there, though, and I didn’t see anyone in back so maybe they’re starting on the other side of the house. Then again, these houses are so damn close that if he was hammering on his exterior living room wall or the exterior wall of the second bedroom, I would hear it in here. I just hope they’re done with whatever they’re doing before I start sleeping in!

We talked about some future activities we want to do. For $65 each we can get taken out on a boat, given a wetsuit, and go snorkeling with manatees. This is at a place an hour north of here.

There’s also a walking trail nearby that might be a fun place to go when we’re bombing the place.

So I called and left a message for them to give to Rhonda about the breathing issues caused by the nitrofurantoin and asked if I could be switched to bactrim or amoxicillin.

OMG, I’m so pissed. I’ll have to finish this later.

Okay, I’m back. The girl who works in the office called telling me to call her back after we agreed she could leave a message. When I called, she said my urine test was negative.

Then why the hell was I given an antibiotic and put at risk of getting a yeast infection if it was negative?

So now I’m waiting for the nurse to call back with more info and I’m going to answer since I know that even though I once again reminded them that they could leave all the detailed messages they want, I’m just gonna be told to call back.

Damn, do I miss Galileo!

Anyway, unless all these doctors are missing something, I’m going to assume that any burning I’ve been feeling is due to menopause. It can be pretty bad from what I was told, and of course, I always have to get it the worst. If I can’t manage to get it under control myself, then I might have to make a GYN appointment.

The honker is trimming the tree between him and Sue. I thought that was something he normally did before he left but if he’s interested in an event at the end of next month, he probably won’t leave until May.

Yesterday his truck never moved at all, which is unusual for him, so I’m guessing he was either picked up or was very sick.

Oh, look at that. Colleen is over there with him now even though her vehicle isn’t there. I’m a little worried that this relationship could cause him to move down here full-time or stay here longer but maybe she’s a snowbird too. I’m now guessing he was over at her place yesterday. It’s only about a five-minute walk over there. What are they going to do, though, unless she too is from his area of Canada? Have a relationship every other 6 months?

[naturecoaster]

Visiting the Chassahowitzka River: Many Manatees & a Gnome

NatureCoaster was part of an exciting adventure on the Chassahowitzka River five years ago. In typical NatureCoaster fashion, we are going to tell you about it now :). Hunter Springs Kayaks' team invited NatureCoaster to get out and explore Citrus County's waterways with us several times. This has been a great way for us to see more of the water side of fun. Our excursion to visit the Chassahowitzka River was no exception. Welcome to the Chassahowitzka River boat ramp, accessible through the Chassahowitzka Campground, which requires a permit to park. Be sure to check in at the campground store. Image by Diane Bedard. First, while we were waiting for our VIP guests, I tried the all-clear kayak that Hunter Springs offers on some of their guided tours. It was large and caught the wind of the blustery day, but I sure loved the feeling of unity with the water that this unique watercraft offered. I went out about twenty-five feet from the Chassahowitzka campground boat ramp, in the deep area just off the head spring, surrounded by manatees of all sizes. Amazing experience in the All Clear Kayak I went over several manatees as I paddled around the area, looking down at the oblong, gray gentle giants below. It was very tranquil and then I heard a “whissssshhh” off to my left. I looked over and a manatee snout was lowering itself back below the surface as I heard another “whissshh” behind me. In the bowl of the Chassahowitzka River, surrounded by manatees, the all-clear kayak from Hunter Springs Kayaks helped me feel integrated with the environment. Image by Diane Bedard. I turned around and just caught another manatee snout going down. Another “whisssshhh” and another. What a wonderful, immersive experience this was. I felt unified with the aquatic environment, floating over and watching the playful mammals move freely through the crystal-clear water. I believe this had something to do with the all clear kayak and it was a really special experience that I won’t forget. Three manatees image by Pat Manfredo. Dave Perry, Jr. was our guide. Dave grew up in Citrus County and is a water-lover to say the least. He came out on his SUP, which Hunter Springs Kayaks also rents, and pointed out the pelicans in a tree on the banks, as well as a rope that locals may (or may not) use to swing into the deep. The Guest of Honor is a Gnome The rest of our tour arrived a short time later, and who was the guest of honor? The Roaming Gnome from Travelocity®! OK, I admit it. I was thrilled! We were working with Citrus County Visitors and Convention Bureau, VisitFlorida® and Travelocity® to film a video of the gnome visiting this amazing place. Yes, the real, authentic Roaming Gnome visited Florida's Nature Coast. We went kayaking on the Chassahowitzka River. Stay tuned for when the video is completed and NatureCoaster will post a link to it. Meanwhile, back to the Chassahowitzka. Did you know the name of this peaceful place means “place of hanging pumpkins,” so named by the Seminole tribes who lived here during the Second Seminole War (1835-1842)? The Chassahowitzka River is shallow in many places, especially during low tide. The water is crystal clear. Dave explains that there are no more hanging pumpkin plants. They must have died out over the years. We changed our kayaks to the totally awesome clear-bottom kayaks, which are easier to navigate with than the all-clear model and set out to seven sisters springs, one of the most tranquil places I have been to. Paddling upstream, we passed the brown pelicans and one left the tree, flying overhead. They have always reminded me of pterodactyls, kind of prehistoric. I spot a great blue heron on the shore and take a quick segue to get a photo. I got video, so enjoy: https://youtu.be/nfzxSehUKlY A great blue heron along the shore of the Chassahowitzka River. Video by Diane Bedard. We paddled around the far side of a very small island because the water was too shallow to get through the other way. The Chassahowitzka River is shallow in most places, and some local favorites require you to get out of your vessel and carry it to get there. The Roaming Gnome, affectionately referred to as “R.G.” by his handler, Andy Nagel, is safely ensconced between Andy and Monica Pedraja, content creator for Oribtz and just plain amazing photographer. R.G. is safely carried on Andy and Monica's kayak as we bravely paddle against the current and wind. Seven Sisters Springs I am fortunate to have Chris Joy from VisitFlorida® paddling with me. After we round the tiny island, we are privy to seven sisters, a small area with seven springs and several caves that provides a very serene backdrop for the Roaming Gnome to safely kayak in the all clear model for the camera. He is dressed in a tiny lifejacket with the HSK logo on it. It is adorable. And he is safely pushed from Andy to Dave and back again for Monica to get the perfect action. Monica catches video of R.G. traveling from Dave to Andy in the all clear kayak. He seemed to really like it too. Chris and I are able to explore a bit and too quickly, “It’s a wrap.” Check out this amazing spring at seven sisters on the Chassahowitzka River. Notice the clarity of the water in the pool. Image by Diane Bedard. Our little group heads back the way we came. Going back is much faster because the current is with us, and it’s fairly strong on the Chazz. We return to our launch site and Miles Saunders from Citrus County Visitor and Convention Bureau cheerfully welcomes us to shore. Left to right: Chris from VisitFlorida®, Monica and Andy from Travelocity® and Orbitz®, Roaming Gnome, Miles from Citrus County Visitor and Convention Bureau and Dave from Hunter Springs Kayaks. Image by Diane Bedard. A quick group photo, some business card and social media handle exchanges and we all head back to our various offices. Me and R.G. Image by Dave Perry, Jr. I’ll be back to explore the Chassahowitzka River in more detail with Hunter Springs Kayaks – and the community which has a story. Meanwhile, get out there and paddle! Read the full article

[darianewing]

ARH Sketchbook

Darian Ewing

Professor, Buzra

ARH 11024

August 23, 2023

Sketchbook 1

PART 1-

I am Darian Ewing and a little-known fact about me is that I have been playing soccer and lacrosse for 7+ years.

My first thoughts about this art piece were that it was plain, but after looking longer and more into it, I found the artwork interesting as it seems like an amalgamation of different parts of housing and history. I then felt, inspired and remorseful. 

The five facts about "Kippe" by Ai Weiwei.

1. "Kippe" is made up of old wood and iron bars from the temples of the Qing Dynasty 

2. Ai Weiwei is a conceptual artist who challenges authority and dabbles in the world of the contemporary world and traditional Chinese culture, with which the Chinese government disagrees and earned him 81 days in jail. 

3. Ai Weiwei dropped the Han Dynasty Urn (1995),  destroying the cultural artifact.

4. Ai also was an artistic consultant for the Bird's Nest stadium design in the 2008 Olympics. 

5. The name of the piece, "Kippe" is a German word that means the act of mounting parallel bars. 

The way I first looked at the sculpture changed from a boring block to a masterpiece that encompasses the past and present. The artwork shows how many years of turmoil and history can fit into one block. In hindsight, it is an impressive sculpture that has a larger meaning than meets the eye. It shows the artist and his beliefs and how he tries to present them to his audience and peers. It was fascinating to learn about this mischievous artist and how he continues to voice his opinion through his work

PART 2-ART AND WRITING

This artwork is a picture of Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of the grunge rock band, Nirvana. This photograph hangs above my bed and I look at it everyday and remember what his morals were and what contribution he made in the music industry and the impact he had on society. He wasn't afraid to share his opinion and voice his struggles through his music. This photograph serves to me as a reminder that even a famous rockstar like him had his own struggles but tried to make the best of it. I think that this image doesn't strike me as beautiful but inspiring  and yet sad that his legacy couldn't be continued.

PART 3- WRITING AND SELF PORTRAIT

When someone looks at art each has their own interpretation based on their own experiences. When I look at art it is through the eyes of a 17-year-old girl from Bradenton, Florida. I am mainly white and European but I do have some Native American in me from the Cherokee tribe. I like to play sports like lacrosse and soccer, I also have fun drawing and cooking. I work at Popis Place on Manatee as a waitress although I am also looking for another job. What makes me uniquely me is that I am determined to make my own way in life enjoyable and I can always find the silver lining in unfortunate situations. I enjoy looking at artworks and reading poems that have a melancholy deeper meaning to be uncovered. 

PART 4- PORTRAIT

In my daily life, I am fascinated by many things, I am intrigued by how the colors in the sky interact with each other to form a beautiful sunset. Although the sky continues to impress me, what really catches my eye is how green the leaves look after it rains while the sky is overcast with a slightly yellow atmosphere. My self-portrait is me looking into a broken mirror that has shattered because in my self-image I don't see myself and I feel as though one can never really see their true image and only through the lens of others, therefore, the image is broken. 

[sjjnyc]

Love Letters to Dugongs and Manatees

Dr. Tracey M. Benson, the creatrix/co-creator behind “Meeting of the Waters Oceania" and I collaborated last November writing love letters to manatees and dugongs. It happened serendipitously at the same time as Manatee Awareness Month in the US (not sure about anywhere else)! This project is inspired by “Silent Whale Letters”, which I first encountered as a student of OCEAN/UNI.

Photo description: This is one of my favorite photos of a dugong!

Tracey recently attended a Dugong Symposium on her home of Bribie Island and facilitated a Love Letter writing workshop to the dugongs living in the waters around the island. She also invited me to write a letter that she shared with everyone in attendance!

"With National Science Week in full swing, BIEPA is joining in the Australia-wide activities by hosting the Bribie Island Dugong Symposium on Saturday 19th August at the Bribie Island Seaside Museum. The Symposium will bring together researchers, citizen scientists, artists, and the community, to share knowledge and help develop a framework for the actions needed to conserve and protect our mythical marine friends."

A letter to you, dear creator/creatrix:

I wanted to write something about creative power and expression, but I feel like I'm always talking about this, and even when I started to write this section, I stopped and remembered how Manatees and Dugongs give off such an essence of calm and peace. Although I haven't seen these marine mammals in real life, looking at photos and videos have been enough where I've felt or sensed an energy of peace.

Tracey shared a love letter that a First Nations artist wrote at the Bribie Island Dugong Symposium, and they too, spoke about how they felt peace from dugongs.

P.S. If you cross paths with manatees and dugongs and don't sense or connect peace to them, that is fine! I'm sharing my personal experiences, which is not meant to be a signal to you on how you should think about and experience manatees and dugongs. 

I also think back to my experiences with drinking an infusion of Lavender flowers and the calm I feel afterward. Between the manatees and dugongs and the Lavender tea, I feel like they give off this energy of peace that feels like a gentle gust of warm wind on my bare skin. I can't really explain it, except that I know it's calm and peace that I'm feeling, and it feels good.

There is so much going on in the world every day every week; to talk about feeling peaceful and wanting to explore peace more feels insensitive sometimes, and something I should do in private. But then you see all the Instagram posts and memes about holding onto your joy in the midst of an intense world, and I think for me, the roots of my joy are connected to peace, to feeling relaxed and not stressed. Is peace another word for safety? Ahh safety . . .

Sometimes I tell myself that I have to be able to withstand the stressors of my life and the world without help from plants and xyz, because what if there's a scenario where I don't have access to Skullcap, Lavender, Milky Oats and my special St. John's Wort Oil to tend to my nervous system? Then what? I've relied so much on plant medicines that I can't calm down without them. But I've learned that thinking that way and preparing myself for a scenario like this only harms my mental health. I need plants, and I'm telling myself it's okay that I and we human beings rely on plants. Interconnection could be another word for reliance.

We are learning from the ocean in exciting ways; right now there is a lot of public interactions with and conversations about whales. I look forward to seeing how the whale communications continue to unfold. Maybe manatees and dugongs, in a (an energetic) language of their own are sharing messages or reminders of peace. I think, based off of my perception and imagination, there's a lot being communicated during the moments a manatee and dugong are munching on seagrass; eating and digesting peacefully.

Exploring imaginaries focused on Peace

Many of us are complex people with complex histories, stories and relationships, so I don't think we should put pressure on any of ourselves to be perfect in order to share our thoughts about and experiences with peace. I think water, lavender, manatees and dugongs, and peace have much in common; it's a vibe I'm exploring, a vibe or confluence formed from three different directions that started across time and space. 

One day the image of bright red blood ebbing and flowing in the ocean came into my mind (I was thinking about something personal). And then when I thought about putting lavender plants in a glass bowl of water and swishing the water around with my hand, blood started to become visible in the swirl of water and earth. Even though I'm focused on peace, blood appears, and blood could symbolize a lot, but my first reaction is how peace can't be divorced from acknowledging hurt and pain. I'm not 100% sure why I saw blood in these mental images.

Then, it's not just water, lavender, manatees and dugongs and peace, but also song! Of course! Tracey sent me a rare video of a dugong making sounds under water. "What a world!" I responded to Tracey. 

Now I wonder about the relationship between sound, singing, music and peace, and how peace is a feeling, but also a place (i.e. where does a high Soprano note take us?), that can perhaps be accessed through activating the voice and singing. Then our voices can be used as instruments of peace? I know it's not that cut and dry. Thinking and thinking and thinking . . . I love honoring thinking and intellectualization, which does have an important role in society and evolution. Other times, drinking infusions of Lavender flowers is enough. So is lying in your bed randomly singing where no one hears you, but you still exist. Admiring that one photo of a dugong is enough. What is peace?

PROMPT: What do you know for sure helps you calm down and relax? If you're not sure, what are some things you want to try out?

[buttermynutter]

Signed, Viktor | 11/18

Transcript:

Resident impromptu marine biologist,

The flowers are thriving, you can see them from even the sidewalk below your balcony! I didn’t doubt you could grow them from just cuttings, but I’m still a bit relieved because, to be honest, I picked the types solely on their names. Fuchsia is simply too interesting of a word for me to dismiss.

Speaking of thriving, I’m sure the “mermaid” is doing just as well. Perhaps you shouldn’t have convinced that child the manatee was really a lost species, but I suppose that’s what he deserves for pounding on the glass so much - he should prototype inventions of the Talis family.

As you know, I lived near a river in the Undercity, but our visit was the first time I had seen anything larger than a minnow or crawfish. It was simply magical, though we probably shouldn’t have gotten candy floss before the whale show - after the splash, it seemed more like a disappearing act. I wasn’t aware creatures could grow that large! Rio was already a spectacle to me, though it was most likely because of how small I was at the time.

I’m sorry for cutting this reflection short - I realize our visit was already a week ago anyway, yet that doesn’t stop it from rebounding around my head like you did from glass pane to glass pane. I understand you were excited, but that won’t stop me from reminding you that you identified staff members inside the tanks cleaning as different species of fish twice.

Instead, I wanted to speak of last night, hopefully while seeming as much as like I am directly talking to you as I can. Ironic when I could quite literally do so by simply knocking on the door to your quarters, I know, but I thought it would be the most fitting in a letter - at least, the most sentimental. (Not to mention that I am tremendously anxious, but I’d rather not think of it at the moment.)

Speaking of sentimental, did you know that the café - the one we had our first meeting off school grounds at - has closed down? I could hardly believe it when I saw it this morning since I wanted to surprise you with a drink, but I've heard they're merely moving, so it should still be nearby.

Also, do you happen to remember the sachet of herbs you gave me? I know you told me it was only an old wive's tale that it helps with allergies, but I genuinely feel that my sinuses are clearer. If only all ailments could be cured so easily.

Wait, I'm getting off track - I can't believe I've had not one but two tangents in writing. I promise these notes aren’t usually this nerve-wracking, but this letter carries considerable weight; so much so that I am delivering it myself (again, a bit redundant, but I like to think it adds to the charm).

If there is one thing I may ask of you, it would be to please not think of me any differently.

Because of last night, an internal cauldron that I have been carrying for quite a while has finally boiled over. It had been brewing ever since you shook my hand across the library table, but the last evening simply pushed it over the edge. Everything about it seemed tailored to pull me to that realization; from our journey in continuing to find out which key belonged where to chasing those discoveries to the water wheel outside.

We didn't trade many words sitting on that ledge, but I'd never felt closer to somebody. I know I've told you I’m not one for physical affection, even avoiding an embrace or two from you, but I regret it immensely. Goodness, I think that plant from so long ago had held you longer than I ever have.

However, I have reason to believed that has all changed. Because of you, I've found out why people hug, why friends link arms, why a single pat on the hand can be important, why a brush on the shoulder can linger for hours. Yesterday, and so many days before, I felt, well... received, I suppose. I couldn't play with the Zaun children, I couldn't travel with the academy students, but I don't have to with you - because there's nothing else I want to see.

I felt like with my arms around you, I never had to leave that spot, never had to pick up my cane again, like I could merely drink in your happiness and live forever.

Above all, you've stirred the heated coals of my lost faith in myself and my scientific proficiency into a renewed smolder; that aspect heated the cauldron before I even saw your face. A little drop of dreams can only go so far, but you've turned both yours and mine into a river.

And I don't plan on building a dam anytime soon. Like we have all these months, I still want to dodge flashlights in the dark with you, to formulate increasingly outrageous excuses when they inevitably land on us, to ensure that you get more from this academy than an assistant job and a metal brace. To put it simply, I'm sure you've heard of the term "Cupid's arrow". In my case, he must've used a rifle - and he's a terribly good shot.

Perhaps this is all a bit forward. I hope you are not uncomfortable or feel obliged to be mutual in this, anything but that. I just felt it was only right to tell you. After all, are we not for progress?

By botanical (though maybe not scientific) terms, the tree of my life had become barren, and I could barely remember when my potential was a promise instead of a regret. When you came to sit under its branches they not only bore fruit, but also more types than I could ever imagine. I’m not certain of much in this world, but I know indefinitely that you are beautiful and that I want us to pick every fruit on that tree until the only thing left for us is to touch the stars.

I don't know, I may be overcomplicating this. In the end, I only have to use a few words to describe how I feel.

I love you.

♥ Viktor

━━━━━━━

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Table of Contents

[nanaminokanojo]

Play the Game | Nanami Kento X You | Part 2/8

CHARACTERS: Nanami Kento X You (fem!reader | PLEASE READ THE NOTES BELOW*) | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Utahime Iori | other JJK Characters CHAPTER COUNT: 2/8 WORD COUNT: 4500+ GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | eventual smut | ooc depictions | female reader with described appearance* | modern au | rich people au | aged up characters CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity | age gap | strong/mature/suggestive language | mentions of bullying, macabre stuff SPOILERS: n/a

collection masterlist

one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight

"Play the Game" Masterlist

The sun hasn’t even risen when Nanami came to consciousness as usual. It did not matter whether he was on vacation or working, he just automatically wakes up at the same time each and every morning without miss. It’s regardless of whether he slept enough or not. He saw no point in tarrying in bed – it was unproductive – and immediately got up without skipping a beat in his routine.

“You’re too vanilla,” he remembered you commenting when you stayed one weekend at his place in the city for an art symposium, having met him on the hallway on your way to bed after staying up all night playing video games. He just brushed your remark off with a grunt back then, but at present, he couldn’t help but muse over the fact that everything he did reminded him of you.

It was a bit light outside when he emerged from the adjoining bath of the guest room. He threw on a pair of grey sweats and a white shirt and grabbed a water bottle and a small towel on his way out of the room, mind set on going for a run. If there was something great about staying at Gojo Manor, it was the fact that it was surrounded with acres of grassland and forest with trails great for walks and jogs.

Nanami particularly grew fond of the path that led to the lake at the bottom of the hill where the mansion stood. There was a direct view of it from the balcony at the back of the structure, appearing like a jewel in the middle of the woods, and it had always been his favorite spot. The late former clan head told him it was man-made and has been there for more than a century that it became a natural feature of the estate. It was a spot in the property with a great history and great value to the clan, thus his gravitation towards it.

It’s her favorite place in the whole estate, too, he thought indulgently.

Inhaling deeply, he set out to the back doors that led to the patio and the walled gardens, starting in a slow jog before building his momentum as he reached open grounds.

And thus, his day began as such.

He came back from his run when it was already too hot, heaving deep breaths and desperate for a shower as his white shirt and grey sweats stuck to his body, drenched in sweat. His leg muscles ached, but it had been a good run.

Greetings from the staff met him as he reentered the manor which he returned with polite nods. He was headed to the stairs when he passed by the breakfast room and happened to hear Gojo talking to you. It went against his principles to eavesdrop in an evidently private conversation but he stayed rooted on his spot upon hearing you speak.

Despite your seeming foul temper upon leaving him the previous night, you seemed to have bounced back to your usual self, your tone sounding more jovial than usual. Your words were at odds to your tone as you told Gojo not to piss you off so early in the morning.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Kento?" Gojo asked just as the person in question was about to pass the doorway.

"It's really none of your business," you responded, voice devoid of any emotions. He did it, Gojo. He finally fouled up your mood.

"But I'm your brother!" Gojo protested, acting all dumb around you again. He just had that complex where you were concerned. He has always been very soft on you yet he was also fiercely protective. You hated his attention though. Yours was a strange dynamic.

"Worry about your wedding, will you? Geez. Don’t you have a luncheon to host?"

"Why did you kiss him then? On the mouth no less!"

Nanami’s heart skipped a beat, anticipation rising like cold water from his toes going up his chest. He wanted to hear what you had to say. Fuck principles. He needed his answers, too. It did not matter in what way he was getting them at that rate. He was secretly hoping you will say something a little bit more revealing about what goes inside your head given that he cannot just pry inside it even if he wanted to.

"Because I wanted to." You stated it so matter-of-factly that Gojo was at a loss for words for a moment. “Didn’t you hear me? I was dying to do that since he arrived.”

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“You tell me.” That’s becoming your signature line. “You won’t understand unless you kiss, Nanamin, too,” the tenor of your words turning fanciful. “He has such an alluring taste to him.”

What is this woman on about?

“Oh, god, stop it!”

"You should have seen the looks on your faces though. I was half expecting your eyeballs to roll on the floor. Wouldn’t that have been grand? It’s definitely shocking but a good subject for art if not a medium." At that, you laughed, the sound hitting Nanami like tinkling bells. It was such a happy sound that reminded him of better days although the thought that prompted it was utterly macabre. “Maybe that should inspire my next work. It would be like Munch’s The Scream, the next of its kind.”

"Hmm. Good point…” Gojo mumbled, sidetracked, obviously sharing your sentiments on the idea of such grotesqueness, but regained his composure just as quickly. “It's not funny!"

"But it is." Your laughter subsided as quickly as it erupted from your throat as if it wasn't even there to begin with. Your capricious nature was surfacing once more, and if there was something that was more frightening than your strong, habitual liking for trifling with people, it was that. "So what if I have other intentions behind it? Are you gonna get mad at me or something?”

"Well, do you?!" Gojo sounded like a manatee on the throes of death.

“But what are you going to do, brother? Stop me perhaps?"

He of all people should know just how unstoppable you were when you have set yourself into doing something. “N-no –”

“And what if Nanamin has the same intentions? What will you do then?”

“Hey, that’s enough of you. I know you’re trying to trap me into saying something again.” He clucked his tongue. “I seem to be the only one who isn’t in on your games, and if it is one, I have to know. You’re just way too outrageous these days that I cannot tell what’s serious and what’s not anymore.”

Gojo took a deep breath, sounding distressed as he exhaled. “Is there something else going on?”

"Maybe,” you answered noncommittally.

"That's not an answer at all!" he snapped.

You clucked your tongue, sounding irritated. "Stop screaming, Satoru."

"Do you like him?"

“Is your emphasis on that word supposed to change its meaning?”

If Nanami’s heart was skipping earlier, it has now stopped completely, robbing him of air as it seemed to have affected his lungs, too. You were maddening, not only to Gojo but to him as well. It was evident that you were in your gaming mood again, and although you were only intentionally riling your brother, he was also directly in your line of assault.

Gojo sighed in defeat, mirroring Nanami’s feelings. “Y/N, please, just answer the question,” he whined.

“I guess.” There was a pause then you said, "I mean, what's not to like?"

"What?!"

“Like it or not, Nanamin is a very excellent specimen of the male populace. He’s fucking irresistible and that’s an understatement.” You scoffed. "Even you like him."

Your voice was followed by your footsteps as you neared the door. In a daze at your vocal expression of how you find him physically attractive, instead of backtracking, Nanami stepped forward and collided with your form, nearly knocking you off your feet. He was after all twice your size and a good foot taller than you.

"Careful," he said between deep breaths, one arm securing you by the waist while his other arm gripped onto the door jamb, the position making the veins and sinews of his arm rather pronounced.

“Speak of the devil…” You straightened up, not making any effort to hide the fact that you were checking him out. Your head turned towards the direction of the breakfast room, making him mimic the action only to see Gojo standing slack-jawed, watching what was unfolding before him with eyes wide with shock. Nanami could've sworn his best friend just went into a state of catatonia.

"Didn't see you there," you said, addressing Nanami, your blue eyes assessing him as if in suspicion.

"I'm sorry," he muttered under his breath, feeling the tips of his ears heating up. Before you could notice, he stepped aside, heading towards the direction of the stairs.

"Hey, Nanamin," you suddenly called, making him halt and turn his head to your direction. You were smirking at the direction of your brother as you said, "Nice ass."

He shook his head. It was really just a ploy to get to Gojo’s nerves, and he was your pawn.

**

The sound of graphite scratching on paper like a harsh slash of sword punctuated the impending absence of thought in your mind. Nothing mattered but the sight of your hand gripping a pencil as it created unintelligible strokes on the plain page of the sketchbook on your lap. It progressed to furious scribbling, your movements becoming faster, the sound dominating your corner of the room. Everything has been drowned out – the endless chattering, the sound of porcelain and silverware hitting each other in chaotic cacophony – heightening in a painful crescendo of auditory abomination and dying in the air, overwhelmed by the picture you were creating on the blank expanse of space.

“You must be so proud of your daughter.”

Scratch.

“Who wouldn’t be? It must be great to have geniuses for children”

Scratch.

“She’s just as famous as Satoru.”

Scratch.

Just like that, they didn't exist. The room was empty save for you and the view outside the window coming to life on paper. Your eyes darted from your sketch to the familiar yet equally exhilarating view just outside the parlor. Gojo was animatedly talking about something, easily excitable as always. His fiancée laughed on the side while Nanami was witheringly eyeing him, stoic as always. Shoko, who arrived the previous evening, also joined the group. All that was missing was Geto. You wondered if you should draw him somewhere in the sketch.

The image before you reminded you of those days when reality seemed far away, back when Gojo was still a student, exceptional as always but still young, not the renowned genius tycoon he was at present. His friends would always be around him, lounging around the manor like they hadn't a care in the world.

His crowd grew in number with Geto and Nanami being the two closest pals he had. Shoko joined in shortly in middle school. On the other hand, Utahime came during his university days, also starting off as Gojo’s friend and eventually becoming his girlfriend. Now they were about to get married and it seemed to punctuate all the changes that came with being the grown-ups that they are.

It scared you.

Fact is, growing up and growing old and the changes that come with it was terrifying. Even if you yourself were already twenty four, seemingly had your life together and appearing to have matured without a hitch, that wasn’t the case at all. Genius or not, your brother also had his issues even while he was rising to his current position in society.

The problem was within you, you knew it. That and the fact that you did not really know what growing means. Your work grew, matured like crazy. You didn’t think you yourself grew, stuck in those days when everything was relatively easier. At least then, you only had to worry about your classmates hating on you. Now a part of the public did.

Looking at Gojo and his gang, they’ve all handled that well, making you wonder how they did it. He is one of the youngest CEOs in the country, having built his business empire at just seventeen. Your future sister-in-law is a professor, Geto is a sought-after model and Shoko is a forensic pathologist. They were all great at what they did, struggled as well, but came out with perfect grace.

However, you think the best one out of them was none other than the object of your pining – Nanami Kento. The man made transitioning to adulthood look rather easy. Maybe it was because he had always been mature and held himself in perfect equilibrium. Sure, he was no Gojo Satoru, but he was innately intelligent and became one of the youngest barristers who held the position of a famous attorney’s partner. He handled controversial cases and is one of the best prosecutors in the country with a high winning percentage. His work aside, he seemed to have the least struggle out of everyone.

Your lips curled up at the corners at the thought of the man. Your gaze flicked to him from the sketchbook, sitting there with a beverage in his hand, the noon sun glimmering on his hair and the planes of his face, looking more laid back without a blazer on. He was dressed rather casually in a pair of khaki trousers and dusty blue button-ups, but he still looked smart. He always dressed that way which you found very attractive although seeing him in more casual clothes like that morning was another level of hot altogether. He’s quite a bit formal, making him seem monotonous, but it’s that consistency that you liked about him. It was only a bonus that he was devastatingly handsome with those sharp features and the suits made him look so sexy in that it left everything about his real physique to imagination.

One just could not get enough of him, at least you couldn’t, but you did see how his partner’s paralegal eyeballed him all the time. (You secretly wanted to gouge her eyes out.) That’s the kind of man Nanami was. He doesn’t speak much, but when he does, it leaves profound dents to one’s psyche. And man, was he hot in court! He’s fucking sarcastic when he wants to be, to the point of being vile, but one just can’t get offended with the kind of logic he has. Once he speaks his mind, one wishes he wouldn’t stop, but he does and leaves that person craving more, his hypnotic, deep voice a rare treat. He wasn’t big on actions, wasn’t expressive, but when he does something, it’s always with purpose and precision, never over the top and always with disciplined stoicism.

You chuckled quietly, your pencil drawing perfect strokes of his hair when you were pulled out of your trance.

“Yuuji!” you heard Gojo say, pulling your attention to the direction of the window.

You broke into a grin at the mention of the name, hurriedly getting on your feet and running out of the room, deaf to your mother’s protests against your unladylike behavior – the commotion foreign to the ladies in the room who moved with the minutest rustles. You made your way out to the patio, that familiar tuft of pink hair coming into your line of vision. You sprinted through the glass doors towards the person whose name your brother called, smile wide and genuine.

“You kept me waiting long enough,” you called out, voice louder than usual. You’re hardly ever giddy nor were you easily excitable like your brother, but Itadori Yuuji was a different story altogether. You loved the boy with a fierceness akin to a mother and were always ecstatic to be around him but suppressed it by acting gruff. You were crazy like that.

“That’s because you won’t help me with my final requirements,” he retorted good-naturedly, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and nuzzling the back of your head as if you were a fuzzy plush toy, making you drop your drawing implements. Well, you were considerably smaller than him, and he was probably the only one who could do that to you and get away unscathed.

You rolled your eyes, noticing how Gojo had picked up your stuff, looking at the page where it was opened. “You should exert yourself more. You’re no genius after all.”

“That’s mean!”

You smirked at him, your eyes straying to your brother who was smiling at your drawing. He had such a proud, fond look on his face that you couldn’t do anything but stare. He has always been ever since you first held crayons and drew him as a cat. “You even included Suguru,” he cooed, pointing at the missing person you included then proceeding to show it off to his friends. “Guys, look. My baby sister drew us.”

“Surprise, surprise,” you sallied, but you were happy that he’s always showing you off.

Utahime and Shoko stood beside him, also looking at the sketch. The latter raised a thumb at your direction. “Damn, kid. You’re really great at what you do. How do you make things come alive with just a pencil?”

You smiled awkwardly. “I –”

“Give it here,” Nanami suddenly butted in, hand reaching for the sketchpad which Gojo promptly handed him.

You felt Yuuji elbowing you while you stood there, observing the man who was in possession of your drawing.

Nanami blinked then, handing it back to you. “How come I don’t have a face?” he asked, expression expectant of your response.

Annoyed, you snatched it back from him.

“It’s obviously not finished yet,” Shoko commented, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.

It was not that you cannot, but you would never draw his face. Ever. You tried tons of times if the tens of pages of sketchpads at your apartment filled with different angles and parts of him would be a basis for that. You could draw everything else about him, just not his face. No amount of contemplation and practice helped you to know why, but you attributed it to the fact that you could not do his face justice, at least in the sense that you would not be able to bring it to life as Shoko said.

Finally, you said, “I didn’t feel like drawing your face.” You turned away, dragging Yuuji with you. The boy was still giggling like a hyena until you got to the second-floor balcony where you propped yourself up on the balustrade, looking sulky.

"You might fall there, you know," he commented, jumping up the marble balustrade to join you.

"I can say the same for you," came your quiet reply. "Where's Megumi?"

“He’ll be here before lunch.” Yuuji leaned close to you with a mischievous grin on his face. “What, or rather who, is that look on your face for?”

"I think you know the answer to that."

"Did you tell Nanamin?" He addressed the man just as you did and got away with it, too, for some reason.

"Tell him what?"

He scoffed playfully. "Are you seriously playing this game with me? I'm your best buddy. I know everything."

"As irritating as that is, it's true."

Yuuji pouted at you. "I heard what you did yesterday. Why do you have to make games out of everything?"

"That's how I communicate. I thought you knew everything."

Harsh as always, he thought. "Be a normal person for once and just tell him." His brows knit together. "Well, you're anything but normal," he mused aloud. “I meant that nicely.”

You blew a raspberry. "You're just as normal as I am if you claim to be my best friend. Which you are. No take backs."

Yuuji couldn't help but smile at that. You have always been a loner and you did not mind being alone. He was grateful you wanted him around despite that.

"But you should stop doing this. He wants you. It's obvious."

"It's not that simple."

"What isn't simple? If it's Satoru, he'll understand for sure if you just try to be honest. I'm sure he just isn't for it more because he doesn't know how you feel. I mean, if I were him, I'll also protect my baby sister from my male friends. That's just how it is."

You blinked, pivoting your whole body so you were facing him.

"Well, of course, Nanamin needs to fight for it, too," he was quick to throw in, rambling to himself when he suddenly felt you reach out towards him, gently running your fingers through his pink hair. He leaned towards your touch, smiling contentedly.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"I'm not –"

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Are you seriously playing this game with me?" you asked, mimicking his words earlier. "I'm your best buddy. I know everything, one of them being the fact that you worry worse than my mother."

Yuuji jumped off the balustrade, reaching out to grab you in a bear hug despite your protestations. Just like how you were with everyone else, you shunned his affection, but he knew better than to let go when you were saying exactly that. He found that trait of yours adorable.

"You're so irritating," you hissed, flipping your platinum white hair over your shoulder when you finally managed to get off his grip but he wrapped an arm over your shoulder nonetheless, undeterred by your words.

"You know you love me."

"Shut up."

Yuuji pouted. "You sound like Megumi."

"I heard that," the person in question suddenly spoke from the direction of the entry, his deep voice making you and Yuuji turn towards him. "They're calling everyone for lunch."

Yuuji followed behind as you approached Megumi, also one of your closest friends and practically your brother, keeping you in check more than Gojo ever can.

"Guess what," Megumi said to you as you walked beside him. In one of the rare moments you would see it, he grinned and you knew it wasn't because of anything good.

"What?" you and Yuuji, who thought the same by the look on his face, chorused.

"Nobara switched your name card with Miwa's. You're now seated next to your man candy. You're welcome."

“Isn’t that more of a perk for Miwa? She’s scared shitless of Nanamin, you know.”

The three of you laughed while Yuuji could just shake his head at the inescapable trouble that will follow. His only consolation was that it’s fun when it involves you.

**

What were the odds, Nanami thought to himself. He didn't have to look twice to see whose name it was on the card on the spot next to him. He exhaled loudly, unfolding the napkin and placing it on his lap. This could only lead to hullabaloo he was not exactly in the mood to deal with especially after you just told him you did not feel like drawing his face. You sure were mean when you wanted to be.

He surveyed his vicinity. Your father, the current head of the clan from whence your blue eyes came from, was seated at the head of the table, your mother to his right, while Utahime’s parents sat to his left. It seemed to have been the only formalities observed in the arrangement. From across Nanami sat Utahime and Gojo while on his right were a couple he only knew as cousins to the Gojo main family.

He was internally pinching the bridge of his nose. You really had to be the one seated next to him and right across your annoying brother, too.

The luncheon started without you. It wasn't a formal gathering after all except they were serving a full-course meal. It was more of a way to get everyone to know one another over the week for some reason he cannot fathom, and he was glad that only your father was the one who had engaged him in a conversation, mostly about work. It was easy enough to deal with.

"Where are Y/N and her friends?" your mother asked Gojo out of the blue.

Utahime, answering for the clueless person beside her, pointed towards the direction of the door to the banquet hall where you were leisurely walking towards your designated seat with Yuuji and Megumi. The former rounded the table to sit next to Gojo.

"Still managing to be late even when you're already at the venue, baby sis?" Nanami heard Gojo say as you assumed your seat. It was evident in the way his eyes shifted from Nanami to you that your tardiness wasn't exactly the problem.

You blatantly ignored his comment and turned your attention to Nanami. "Had a good run this morning, Nanamin?"

"Just so," he answered, side-glancing at you.

"Yeah. You looked super hot this morning," you said just as Gojo was taking a sip from his wine glass.

Megumi snorted when the older male started choking on his drink while Yuuji was trying hard not to laugh.

Nanami knew he would have reacted the same way except that he had been bracing himself for whatever you will say the moment Gojo opened his mouth. Of course you will use him in your counter attack. It's yet another game, not that he was less affected by your words.

"You should have seen him, Iori," you continued, addressing your brother's fiancée. "He looks so much less uptight in casual clothes."

It didn't escape Nanami’s notice how Gojo was looking at him. He looked about ready to drop onto the floor, but paid him no mind as he leveled his mouth to your ear. "Y/N, let's not make your dear brother snap, shall we?"

"Oh, sweetheart, maybe that's what he needs right now," you deadpanned, meeting his gaze squarely, your disposition unreadable as you let your eyes linger on him longer than was deemed appropriate.

Yuuji finally laughed, earning him a kick to the shins under the table courtesy of Megumi.

What it was about you that made everything else irrelevant and nonexistent when you’re that close to him was something beyond him. You always made him lose control, tempted him to break the rules. He only knew he couldn't act on it. Most of the time anyway. He also felt like laughing, oddly enough.

Utahime just chuckled good-naturedly breaking the tension. "Since the two of you are here, I should tell you that the final fitting for your clothes for the wedding is this afternoon. So, you better go together at the shop."

"Traitor." Gojo pouted at Utahime but nobody was really paying attention to him anymore. For someone so important to society with a flawless image, the closest people around him sure were good at disregarding him when they deemed it fit.

"Okay," Nanami said, looking at you for confirmation.

It was you who looked away this time. "I'm free."

"That's set then." Utahime clapped her hands and to Nanami she cheekily said, "Maybe wear something less formal."

At that, you grinned wickedly at him. So much for avoiding trouble with you.

-end of part 2-

*I used “you” here, but since my character is Gojo’s little sister who is established to be his female clone for reasons essential to the plot, she possesses the same blue eyes and white hair. I did not exactly want to create an OC (although technically, I did by describing Y/N), but I opted for the best of both worlds in this fic, leaning more towards the literary aspect of it as opposed to it just being reader/you-oriented. I hope this isn’t iffy to anyone, and yeah, i’m not being exclusive or whatever.

If you want to be included in the tag list, please DM me :)

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20210709] PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART SOURCES CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[rodricksfilipinagf]

Friendtopia Part 2: So Much For A Meet-Cute

We end up leaving this high end designer store- I’m wearing this loose white top with flowy sleeves with turquoise shorts. With a turquoise necklace and bracelet, and stacked heels.

“You had something custom made?”

“Multiple stuff custom made. You said you were buying,” I remind him.

“You’re so lucky I’ve been waiting to hang out with you for months,” he bemoans.

Suddenly I spot a girl in a long, breezy skirt and a white shirt with balloonlike sleeves handing out pieces of paper to passerby with a smile on her face.

“Do you need anything in the convenience store?” He looks at the store we were in front of currently.

“You’re going into a convenience store? You do know you’re going to have to get everything yourself in there, right?”

He frowns slightly. “What, are you not coming? I was hoping that since there were two of us…”

I roll my eyes. “Normally I would love to find stuff for you in the convenience store that you could easily walk over and find yourself, but I’m about to lose my chance to have a meet cute with that girl over there.”

He follows my gaze. “Passing out flyers near the meat mug place? They have to be about how great I am. My people are just so devoted and appreciative.”

“Yeah, yeah. So we’ll catch up later?” I ask. “Please don’t get yourself kicked out.”

He snorts. “Y/N, I’m the emperor. It’s not like I was ever going to find stuff myself,” he says before heading into the convenience store.

“Oh, he is so getting kicked out,” I say under my breath as I head toward the girl. As I’m doing so I’m looking to see if any of my clothes look any less perfect than I did when I left the store in them. Blue stacked heels, still on my feet. Turquoise shorts, still on. Turquoise jewelry…still on. White top…still on. I’m so glad I didn’t wear any makeup. It probably would have melted off by now. Sitting in a makeup chair having it done is lowkey tiring on my face so I only get it done on special occasion, like balls.

“Hi!” I say when I’m in front of the girl. “My friend thinks the flyers you’re passing out are about how awesome Emperor Kuzco is, but I highly doubt it. Unless it is. Is it?”

She looks at me bemused. She definitely looks part Asian. I’m not sure what other ethnicities she is- part Incan, Mayan, Aztec, Middle Eastern, or white…but there definitely is some Asian in her. She has strong, fierce eyebrows and a narrow nose and long, straight hair.

“No,” she says. “It’s to save the manatees. Did you know they’re an endangered species in the Incan empire?”

I study the flyer. It’s of a bunch of manatees in the ocean. They don’t seem miserable. But hearing that they’re endangered is really sad. I wonder why that is. “Do people keep hunting them?”

“Tourists keep accidentally killing them, thinking they’re dangerous,” she says.

I’m baffled now. All manatees do is float around. They don’t even have any sharp teeth, or claws, or anything like that. They’re very sleepy. “Well, that’s terrible. And confusing. I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“I’m Bri,” she says. “I just wish that people cared about manatees the same way they care about…whatever it is they care about here.” She shrugs. “I just arrived here a few days ago. I was just in Nepal on a detox retreat.”

“Detoxing from what?” I ask.

“Just…life and all of its distractions. The unimportant things.”

“Yeah,” I manage to eke out. I wonder what she’d think of the shopping spree Kuzco and I just went on. I wonder if she’d think it was unimportant.

“Some people might think that vacations are about superficial things like going to the beach or getting hot stone massages, but I think it should be about giving back,” she says, adjusting her bag strap. Her bag that was white and grey checkered. A pattern that I recognized really well. It was what people back in France used to wear when they just wanted to show they had money but when they also lacked imagination and individuality. Because that designer makes so many other bags in so many other patterns. You could still show off your money by getting one of those. But the grey-white checkered pattern showed that you primarily cared about impressing other people with recognition rather than quality.

“I’m sorry- how is going to the beach superficial? How? It’s a super relaxing way to unwind and forget about your troubles, like you said you wanted.” I don’t know why I was being so combative. It’s just…suddenly she was coming off a little pretentious, and I wanted nothing more than to poke holes into her already holey theory.

“It’s just how can you relax at the beach, knowing that the manatees who live there are endangered? I mean, that’s definitely true here. And Emperor Kuzco doesn’t even care.”

“For your information, Emperor Kuzco is throwing a save the manatees ball tomorrow! But I guess you wouldn’t want to come, because it’s superficial, right?” Me being extra combative would probably not get her to want to come to the ball, but at this point I was debating whether I actually wanted her to come or not.

“No way am I missing that,” Bri says. “He’s probably going to spread more misinformation, like to save them you have to pollute the ocean.”

“How can you say that?” I demand.

“I was in the convenience store an hour ago talking to the owner about workers’ rights. Apparently he got kicked out of there five times for complaining about having to get stuff himself.”

It’s going to be six, I just know it. And what’s she doing talking about worker’s rights? I thought her whole thing was manatees. And why a convenience store owner? It’s not like he’s being oppressed…is he? Besides Kuzco being a pain in the ass, he seems to be running a thriving business. “Well, you’re wrong,” I say. “He does care, and you’ll see it at the ball.”

Bri raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Sure.”

“Whatever,” I say before storming off. So much for a meet cute.

I encounter a disgruntled looking Kuzco in front of the convenience store. “Let me guess, he kicked you out?”

“I’m so done. We’re going home,” he grumbles.

“Ughh, I’m with you on that,” I say as we head back toward the palace. “I need somewhere with echo-y walls and floors, where no one will look at me like I’m an insane person if I burst out screaming.”

[fandom-sheep]

Manatreed 29 JAN 22

First Stream Part 1/1

The entirety of the internet has been waiting for this.

My friend and I jumped on that notif like panthers.

Starting soon. Prepare the bingo card.

My friend is watching chat and we all agree it’s too quiet.

Good thing we’re on call to negate the silence.

It’s on? Mine says starting soon

She can hear him breathing and tell it’s not dream.

Dream?

I don’t like that voice.

Is it dream? Is it two idiots?

It’s two idiots. According to my friend.

It is two idiots.

You’re giving a tour? You’re a wanted criminal.

Not many people streaming recently. Lore just finished.

Iron Gollum death. Wow.

Eret “L”

Michael McChill doing our work. Proving things aren’t prerecorded.

Dream already lost.

Dream needs a tour guide to give him a tour to give him a tour.

Who is this Steve skinned idiot.

Hi Eryn.

Manatreed being rude on Dreams command.

Go Eryn.

Karl’s here

Hannah saying don’t touch my cakes.

Poor man doesn’t know how to turn off hosts.

I swear even I could start streaming better than this guy.

“It’s just a random ass white dude.” -My BFF

I’m literally turning Eret on in the background. This is painful.

Dream should know what to do. 😭

Please someone figure out how to fix this. One of the many of you should know how to stream.

They’re looking it up. Please.

Have those annoying alerts finally stopped???

Everyone joining.

Eret just minding his business and mining a tree.

I swear this is so scuffed.

Oh no. They’re struggling.

This is going so bad.

He is in 4 whole servers.

Sapnap go roast him. Please. Please.

Yes everyone’s first stream is scuffed. But most don’t have a guy with millions of subs helping them.

Mans earning more than most starting streamers in a year.

My friend and I are respectively making a friendship bracelet and knitting. You can see the ADHD.

70k people leaving after learning it’s not dream.

There’s Sapnap.

Bless this man. Having to lay on his mike to speak.

Ah. A he/they. Another for the server.

Why is there a Michael shrine?? He’s fine??

Don’t burn the lemon tree.

Pink threatening over tree.

Dream blows up a lot of things.

Does nobody know Phil prettied up lmanhole.

Getting to know everyone again?? Again?

His voice is nice. Reminds me of some of the ASMRtists I listen to.

McPuffys.

Sapnap. I know your southern but you could not fuck up a kangaroo.

Oh they’re entering Eret’s traps.

Callahan. Poof and Unpoof.

Why are you familiar with Skeppy and BBH’s house.

Honey it’s fine you can’t read everyone of them.

Yes Dream it is your fault. He needed two.

Reverse Simba Manatreed. Whatever the light touches they destroy.

Please don’t blow up anything. Honey.

You do need texture packs for nukes.

Kinoko! Also please don’t blow up Kinoko.

Are we doing lore? What’s happening?

Lore camera?

Yes join whenever. Be kinda polite. Sounds good.

Met just randomly. But they met up when they were little kids. Awww.

Bless him. All that on accident.

I swear if it’s manatee and tree.

Manatees and trees. Oh come one.

I love this poor man. I’m becoming emotionally attached.

Disaster Floridian.

Man saw a manatee and decided it was his animal.

Oh he’s 24. June 23rd. That’s the day after my BFFs bday.

The fact they all had each other’s Skypes and such from playing as kids.

“This sounds like dream” because dream told him to tweet it. 😂

5’11” huh. Not bad.

I want to just sit and listen to this man stream while I do homework.

He seems relaxing.

You know his eyes are blue. Blue eyes gotta be overly specific.

CAT!!! The most important part.

Usually take care of sometimes? Oh friends cats. Cat sitter.

I swear my BFF and I started going “eh I don’t like him too much.” Now we go “aww he’s so cute.”

He’s Hannah Montana.

Alright boundaries!!!

Shipping is fine.

No hate and stupid stuff.

Don’t pretend to be Manatreed.

Shares a lot of boundaries with Dream. Just look at dreams boundaries.

Cancer sign. Rooster for Chinese Zodiac.

Doesn’t want to share sexuality. Not relevant to gaming.

Poor dude wants a tattoo and is entirely too anxious to do it.

Dude with both ears pierced from Emo phase.

Anxious little critter.

Dream could still beat this poor man even with a hacked client.

Ooo Karl.

Karl teaching Manatreed yugio.

Oh has Eret fixed the rail to Kinoko? If not this might not go well.

I think I have a crush on everyone in this server. I mean. Us too.

Off they go on the rails. Hopefully these aren’t the ones Eret broke.

Sam and Foolish and Karl. Not Just Karl.

Watch Manatreed be the only ones who makes it.

Ah George.

Oh was all that stuff stuff George did? Lol.

George and Dream just gotta act like an old married couple wherever they go.

Dream quit causing problems.

What is happening?

The divide between character and content creator.

Manatreed running from George.

Sapnap getting George.

Poor Manatreed picking stuff up. Snowchester Tubbo and Dream map?

No. Do join Kinoko. You’d fit in well.

10 llamas.

Everyone fighting George.

Sapnap killed by George.

“There’s our dragon. It’s not real.” -Karl

10 Llamas!!! Hooray!

You deserve the llamas honey.

Sapnap don’t threaten the new guy.

Dream’s still a homeless telletubbi.

George with a grown zombie pigman.

Do they not know lore happened today and Michael was moved?

Old man playing the new minecraft.

Sapnap killed by Eryn. Wow.

George escaped.

There’s not a single brain cell here.

Manatreed with eggs.

Manatreed the keeper of sapnaps stuff.

I want to see him stream solo. I feel like I’m less watching him and more watching the usual idiots doing their things.

All of this is just the usual. Manatreed is just kinda there.

Accusing the missing stuff on Manatreed who has almost exactly nothing.

Seriously I feel like Manatreed is just here. George and Sapnap fighting is funny but still.

Aww he’s ending. I hope to see a solo Manatreed stream sometime so we can actually see what kind of person he is.

Alright a little bit of solo.

It’s quiet again but at least someone who knows what’s happening isn’t trying to coach him.

Man surprised that so many people showed up. Honey your popular. The internet has been waiting for months.

Sweetheart just going through all the donos and seeing all the polite people.

Why are George and bad in a boat?

Please get a new skin.

Fanartists don’t switch to the Steve skin. Please.

Can’t wait to see more of you dude.

2 more donos.

He’ll try to stream tomorrow.

Favorite color is anything blue. Very dark blue. Midnight Purple is his specific favorite.

Name is straight up Oli not short for anything.

Baby no. Please not the Steve skin.

Good first stream. Very nice.

Both me and my BFF think he sounds like someone. But we can’t figure it out. A YouTuber we’ve watched.

And there’s the end.

[theroundbartable]

Dragon Island

“Absolutely not.” Sometimes, Arthur Pendragon was not only a prat, he was a downright Clotpole. Not that Merlin ever failed to mention it.

“Arthur, I am going with you!”

“And what exactly can YOU do against dragons, Merlin? This is THE dragon Island! My father has been searching for this place for over a decade! There are rumors that there will be dragon lord's there as well! Do you even know how many knights have died since the purge started? Since my father fought these monsters and erased them from this part of the world? If we find this Island, we can end this war! But this is too dangerous for a servant. I can not waste my time consoling you, when the sea is making you sick, Merlin. I have battle strategies to discuss.”

Merlin huffed and crossed his arms. They were standing at the shore, far far away from Camelot. Uther Pendragon had a ship army remaining here in position. He regularly send out spies to find the home island of the dragon lords. Not that there were any actual dragon lords with dragon lord powers left. They were wiped out in the war. But their families remained. Those who valued their traditions and taught each other magic. But weren't the first son's and therefore had none of the abilities their kind was so proud of. But magic was another reason to have them wiped out.

About a week ago, one of Uther's spies had found a trace that lead them to an underwater cave. Barely shallow enough to have a narrow boat sail through. They had found runes engraved in the walls. And the spy was pretty ecstatic that this MUST be the entrance to the secret island.

Well... Since Arthur was the only knight known to have actually killed a dragon (which he didn't), his father found it absolutely logical to send his only son and heir on another suicide mission. Into unknown terrain, with unknown enemies and not one dragon, but a whole army of those impossible-to-kill-except-you're-a-dragon-lord creatures.

It was truly perfect. Arthur could finally proof his worth as crown prince.... again. And almost die.... again. Heroically of course. Uther was a genius.

And apparently Arthur was just as smart, because the idiot prince had decided to go on that mission WITHOUT Merlin. The only ACTUAL dragon lord left in the entire known universe. Not that they knew about that.

“Just so you know – I do NOT get sea sick. And I already know how to use the sails and stuff. Will and I often went out with the fisher of our town. Other than you who grew up in a fancy Castle with perfect temperature in every single room and hundreds of servants working for you. You may train, but you have NO idea how to deal with the weather, with the tides. You barely know how to dress yourself!”, as Merlin exclaimed the last part, he could basically feel the steam of anger from Arthur's nostrils flaring at him, while a few knights were snickering behind them.

The knights were, by the way, currently occupied readying the boat.

“Fishing on a boat and Sailing on the open sea is totally different.”, Arthur argued, causing Merlin to roll his eyes and facepalm himself. “Fisher's... sail, Sire.”, he muttered, causing Arthur to frown as if that confused him for some reason.

“I don't care. You cannot stop me. I'll come with you.”, Merlin's expression was final.

“I'm the crown prince of Camelot, Merlin. You have to do what I say.”

“I never listen to what you say. Why would I start now?”

In the end, Gwaine and Leon were ordered to drag Merlin away from the boat. All while Arthur ignored the very obvious argument (provided by Merlin and confirmed by at least two other knights), that he NEEDED Merlin. If as a servant or a navigator or maybe a warning radar for obvious danger that Arthur was certain to ignore. He NEEDED him. So, Merlin would definitely find a way.

“Hey, buddy. I gottcha.”, Gwaine winked at him, while Merlin was still trying to make up a perfect strategy, how he could sneak on the ship. Merlin blinked up at him, while Leon just rolled his eyes and pretended not to listen. “What?”, Merlin asked, confused.

“I got a few barrels of water and wine and stuff for the ride. Leon and I have already prepared an empty one for you. You get in and we'll sneak you on.” Merlin had never wanted to hug Gwaine more. “Thank you!!!!”, he beamed at them. “Wait, Leon? You're IN on the plan? You're not going to rat me out to Arthur, are you?”

Gwaine cackled. “It was HIS idea.”

“Huh?”, Merlin looked at the blond knight in confusion.

Leon was still looking away, as if embarrassed by his treason. “If you're not there, Arthur will focus all his attention on US. And I did not sign up for this.”, he was frowning. As if he was already dreading the following days.

“But... how long have I to stay in the barrel? I mean... If I step out too soon, Arthur will insist to turn around.”

“I can survive five days of Arthur being a whirlwind of emotions. You have FIVE days. Gwaine will sneak you out at night. Lancelot has agreed to help. I can distract Arthur, until you're in. Other than that, I was never involved.”, Leon was grimacing the entire time. He seemed exhausted, as if he had already had five different yet similar arguments today and wanted to throttle someone.

“Wow, thank you Leon.”, Merlin looked at him amazed. But Leon's frown only darkened. “Don't thank him.”, Gwaine whispered. “He originally asked, if we could dress you up like him, so he can stay in Camelot and have a vacation until we're back. You may not get sea sick. But HE does.”

“Why.... And he's still allowed on the ship? Wait, why don't we try that? Doesn't sound like a too bad plan. If Leon's sea sick anyway, people would leave him alone to suffer in silence, right?”

Leon sighed with exasperation. “As if that ever stopped Arthur from discussing battle strategies.”, he made a dramatic pause. “If I don't make it -”, Leon made a sound that reminded Merlin of a creaking door. “It was nice knowing you.”

“Don't be so dramatic, Leon.”, Gwaine rolled his eyes. “Honestly, what's with you? Since Uther announced this mission, you've been nothing but a drama queen.”, he scolded. Leon pouted a little. “I'm being realistic if anythikng. If the sea doesn't drown us, we don't freeze to death or a sudden storm destroys our boat, and we don't get horribly lost in that strange cave and starve to death, then we arrive on an island full of dragons who probably hate Arthur for killing the great Dragon. And being the son of a man who ordered the murder of all dragon kind. Not to mention him indirectly causing the death of the last dragon Lord as well. So we either die, or we die. I'm just planning ahead.”

“So dramatic.”, Gwaine mumbled. But Merlin frowned. Leon got a valid point.

“Be positive. What if we meet a bunch of mermaids?”, Gwaine winked at Leon. Leon frowned even further. “Which kind?” “The hot kind, duh.” “Which is?” Gwaine blinked. “Not this again. You're no fun.”

“No, no, Gwaine. Go ahead. Tell me. Which is the hot kind of mermaid? The Siren one's that lure you in with magic voices and then drown you, so they can rape your dead bodies and make more Sirenbaby's; The manatee's that only start to look appealing when you're so starved and Vitamin C deprived that you start hallucinating right before you pass out and die or the classic one's with boobs and a fish tails that make NO SENSE in their anatomy. Which I will be hearing you complain about for days. When all I want is peace and quiet.”, Leon closed his eyes – yet again- dramatically.

Gwaine was about to open his mouth to counter, when Leon added: “Also, we're knights of Camelot and mermaids are magical creatures. It's your job to kill them, regardless of how hot they seem to you.”

With that, Leon had set Gwaine's brain check mate and left him and Merlin standing there with their mouths comically wide open. Half in shock, half with laughter and amazement. “Holy shit, I think he's finally lost it.”, Gwaine laughed as he watched Leon slump down at the next tree and saying goodbye to the dry unshakable ground.

“Maybe we should ask George to come as well. Or convince Arthur to get him off the ship.”, Merlin muttered. After all, Leon was always a lot calmer when George was around. Maybe because George didn't bully him, did what he was told and was also a good person to be quiet with. George also seemed to prefer Leon as the one ordering him around, because Leon wasn't chatting endlessly. He was precise in his orders and didn't talk around the bush. They got along well. Because they didn't have to get along at all. They had the ultimate work-efficient dynamic. It was horrifying.

“Are you kidding? This will be hilarious.”, Gwaine grinned.

“Don't you think Leon deserves a break?”, Merlin asked, still startled by Leon's obvious irritation. “From work? Yes. From me? NEVER!”, Gwaine winked again. And Merlin already pitied the poor knight.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leon was indeed... sick. The moment the ships left the haven, Leon was slumped over the reeling and holding on for his life. He was suspiciously green in the face and tried to avoid Arthur. Who was continuously ignoring Leon's condition and decided to ask him for how many days they had planned to be on sea. How many weapons they had and discussed whether or not they were actually suitable to kill dragons. And if there was enough food and water and so on and so forth.

He did not realize that the barrel Gwaine had decided to sit on had a few holes in it, that should not be there, were wine in it. Gwaine was chatting with Lancelot and occasionally Merlin, albeit in third person like... “I wonder what Merlin would think of this.”, and then get a hushed answer from underneath him.

The sea was relatively calm for the first three days. And Elyan, who was assigned to steer the ship, had no trouble finding the right path. Arthur seemed content too and left Leon alone on day two.

Leon was hardly eating. And if he ever did, he puked it out ten minutes later. By the third day, he was leaning against the reeling once again. Eyes closed with an obvious headache and ready to drink poison to free him from his misery.

Merlin was still sitting inside the barrel. Except for at night, when Lancelot would let him out, while Gwaine annoyed the prince. It worked surprisingly well. Yet, Merlin was a bit worried. Not necessarily to be found out. That was kind of part of the plan. No... By the way Arthur behaved.

The first two days, it was hardly noticeable. Arthur had focused on talking to Leon. Or Elyan or Gwaine and Lancelot. But after they had run out of conversational topic, Arthur had started to isolate himself. Merlin could see him through the holes of his hiding place. He was often standing at the reeling and staring out towards the horizon. He was eerily quiet. And appeared to be melancholic. If not slightly sad.

“Hey, Merlin.”, Lancelot whispered at an afternoon on day four. Merlin was still shocked that his disguise had apparently worked well so far. Then again, Arthur was terrifyingly oblivious to most of his secrets. “Can't you like... use magic to heal Leon's sickness?”

Of course. If anyone had it bad these days it was Sir Leon. Gwaine was currently occupied with drinking. Otherwise Lancelot would not have dared mention Merlin's illegal existence to him. “Do you think that's wise? What if they all notice? After all, Leon has been sick for three days now. If he was suddenly fine, wouldn't they ask?”

“And you think they'd explain it with magic? Merlin. Leon could have just gotten used to the sea. I'm sure no one will notice.”

“Are you sure?”, Merlin asked back and tried to focus on Leon's pitiful form. “I'm positive. Even if they think it's magic, they don't even know you're here. And what sorcerer would just appear on this ship, just to heal Leon?” “Good point.”

Merlin took a shuddering breath, as he strained himself to look through the barrel once again. Leon had his eyes closed and he was breathing harshly. Arthur was standing right next to him. Deep in thought. As if on cue, he suddenly straightened up, pushed himself from the reeling and went under deck.

Merlin nodded to himself. And then whispered a silent spell in Leon's reaction. There was a flash of gold for barely a second. But in that moment, Leon opened his eyes and looked at Merlin. Merlin froze. They locked eyes. Merlin caught his breath. “Lancelot. I think he saw.”, Merlin muttered, panic was slowly sinking in, along with the realization of the situation. Lancelot frowned. “What?”, he asked. “Lance, I think he knows.” “Merlin, stop mumbling. I'm certain you're imagining things.”

Leon's eyes flickered shut for a second and he took a deep breath. Then he held his head in slight irritation, before looking in Merlin's direction again. He ….. sighed in relieve. Slowly, he pushed himself up. Still holding his head, as he took a deep breath. He nodded at Merlin. Like he was... thanking him? Was Merlin really imagining this? But Leon smiled, stretched himself and rubbed at the dark circles under his sleepless eyes. As if to say: “finally.”

Soon enough, he was gone as well. Merlin opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head to himself, while Lancelot had a firm hand on his barrel.

---------------------------------------

It was night, when Merlin was finally let out of his barrel. The knights were asleep. All but the one on watch. Which was Gwaine, fortunately. Meaning, Merlin could safely leave the barrel, chat with him and eat in peace. He had slept through the day mostly. He trusted that Lancelot and Gwaine would stop anyone from opening this particular barrel during the day.

And if anyone got to close, he could always hear one of them say, this was the “victory wine.” Like this was the finest wine of them all and reserved for the day they managed to defeat the dragon lords. It was a good excuse. Albeit difficult to maintain, because nobody believed Gwaine could hold himself back from wine for that long.

Either way, for now it was fine. Merlin's legs were dangling off the watch tower, while Gwaine leaned against the rod behind him. The sails were up, because the wind was in their favor.

It was then, that suddenly, someone crawled up from under deck.

Even in the dim moonlight, Merlin could make out the shine of Arthur's armor. Everyone had already told him, wearing armor on a boat was absolutely insane. If he ever fell off the boat, he'd drown immediately. Because the weight would just drag him down. But the clotpole was too stubborn to listen. And right now it was as useful as a warning signal to them. 'Why is he up?', was all Merlin could think, as he nearly shrieked through Gwaine's mindless chatter and hid underneath a blanket that lay around behind them. Gwaine, surprised at his reaction, finally noticed the prince as well and waved at him, while Arthur gave him a startled expression. Merlin could have kicked Gwaine for drawing Arthur's attention to them.

“Gwaine? What are you doing?”

Gwaine rose both his eyebrows in amusement. “Oh, I'm on watch. You know. Talking to myself. Looking at the stars. Nice weather out, don't you think?”, he laughed suspiciously.

Arthur frowned and sighed, before climbing up the ladder with a sigh. He shook his head, as if used to these antics and hardly caring for them at all. Merlin hurried to shuffle behind Gwaine, so that Arthur wouldn't notice him. And Gwaine did his best to position himself in a way that Merlin was mostly covered by his frame. In a practiced manner, Merlin steeled his heart and his breathing and went completely still. A method he had accustomed to during his time out in the barrel.

By the time Arthur got up to them, Merlin might as well have vanished. That's how invisible he was. Though, to himself, he felt extremely obvious.

“So, er... Sire. Can't sleep?”, Gwaine asked. It was pretty late. Too late to still be up. Too early to have woken up again. Gwaine pat the ground beside him, so Arthur could sit down. It would be suspicious if he send him away. But Merlin was certain Gwaine did it to taunt him. “Not really.”, Arthur said and yawned. If Merlin could see through the blanket, he would see that the circles under Arthur's eyes were nearly as dark as Leon's had been.

His voice didn't really leave room for conversation. He sounded tired, as if he really didn't want to talk. And despite Gwaine's usual annoyance, he didn't press the matter. He hummed instead. For one, because it was Gwaine. Who would he be, if he wasn't drinking ale and doing noisy things all the time? However, this also served the purpose of covering up all unintentional noises Merlin could have made in the dead silence of the still night. It was too still. But they weren't used to the ever changing weather of the sea. Else, they would have been alarmed.

“It's funny.”, Arthur said after a moment of hummed silence. “What is, Sire?” “I would have thought Merlin would have sneaked on to the ship and come out by now.”

Gwaine laughed comically. Startled by the sudden comment. Arthur ignored him, but Merlin nearly smacked Gwaine for that obvious reaction.

“Well. That surely sounds like Merlin. But we would have found him in no time.”, Gwaine assured him.

“Yeah I know. Still.”, Arthur sighed and shook his head, before running a hand through his face. “I mean... Now that he's not here, I can't stop thinking that I basically left him alone with my father. You know my father. If Merlin doesn't behave, the king will certainly have him flogged. Or worse. I mean... he has these moments when he accuses random people to be sorcerers. What if I left him to one of those antics? Did I make a mistake leaving him home?”

Arthur sounded worried and he was suddenly found playing with his own hands.

Gwaine opened his mouth in surprise. “Huh?”, he asked. “I thought you didn't want him to come? ”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “He's still saver with my father than he is raiding a dragon infested island with us, isn't he?” That was.... an actual question. Not a rhetoric one, like one would expect. No. Arthur was seriously asking. His tone was probably supposed to be rhetoric, but he sounded too emotional. Too concerned. Too guilty.

Gwaine's mouth dropped open. Merlin's heart stilled. “Since when are you so worried about Merlin?”, Gwaine asked and sat up straight. After all... Arthur had never really shown his emotional side to Gwaine. Not like this. Not verbally. There would be lots of teasing, surely. Later on, of course. And Arthur should know that. But Arthur was sleep deprived and concerned and he needed to vent. That may not be wise. But since when do people do reasonable things?

“I'm not worried.”, Arthur denied immediately. Gwaine raised an eyebrow. Which Arthur noticed. “Look -”, Arthur started. “I couldn't take Merlin with us on this trip. Merlin is a servant and he's always unarmed-”

“That never stopped you from taking him on hunts.”, Gwaine raised both eyebrows now.

Arthur groaned. “That's different. We're knights. We can protect him from bandits. Dragon's are.... a whole different story. I faced one and I passed out and I still don't know HOW we survived. I know I killed it, but it was incredibly close. And this mission... I'm not sure we'll make it.”, Arthur let his head sink.

Gwaine paused for a moment. “Wait... you think we'll all die?”, he asked, eyes wide and suddenly terrified. “Of course not.”, Arthur said absently. But it was clearly a lie. “Jesus. You're in a good mood.”, Gwaine mumbled to himself. For the first time, he sounded worried too.

“So... you left Merlin in Camelot because -”

“I don't want him to die.”, Arthur confessed. Albeit reluctantly. “But … you said you thought he'd be here?”, Gwaine pointed out. Arthur breathed. Then he turned to look at Gwaine. “Is it selfish to wish he had ignored my orders?”

Gwaine blinked. “Huh?” To be fair, he had wanted to tease Arthur about the fact that nothing Arthur just said opposed the idea that he was – indeed – worried about Merlin in any way. But that last comment confused him and changed the focus of this conversation.

“I don't want him to die with us. But -”, Arthur bit his lip. “If I die, I'd rather die at his side. Is that weird?”

Gwaine glanced at the blanket, where Merlin strained his ears to hear every word Arthur was saying. Merlin's breathing was getting rigid. This conversation.... was unusual. Very... unusual for Arthur.

Gwaine blinked, then he forced himself to grin and make a more joyous expression. As he always did. Because positive energy was his thing. “Now now, princess.”, he put an arm around Arthur shoulder, which Arthur let him do with a disapproving frown. “Sounds like someone here got a small crush on our dear Merlin.”

Merlin fought the urge to kick him yet again, worried that this would reveal him from underneath the blanket. Gwaine was clearly overdoing it. He was clearly out to annoy Arthur. Merlin knew that. And he really wanted Gwaine to stop. This was humiliating and mean.

Arthur stared at Gwaine. At the laughing face. The poking and joking and attempt at humiliating him expression. But Arthur's stare didn't waver. And Gwaine's expression lost itself on the realization that he actually hit a mark.

“Wait – seriously?”, he asked and pulled his arm back. Merlin behind him froze. Merlin's inner turmoil was at Gwaine's antics. He had been so focused on cursing Gwaine, that he was completely startled by that sentence. He had not expected for Arthur to just.... not deny it. Which was basically a confession. Merlin's eyes widened. And he stared at the blindness in front of him. Once again, he was completely still. 'Huh?', he thought.

“You think it's weird.”, Arthur turned away, still fumbling with his hands. And had the little snide remark from Gwaine not been, maybe they could have pretended this sentence didn't mean so much. That this was simply about hoping his friend was here. That they just continued their conversation from before, without the additional information that Arthur – indeed – liked Merlin more than he ought to.

“I- what? No!”, Gwaine was quick to retaliate. “Of course not. I'm just surprised, is all. I mean... it's Merlin.”

“And?”, Arthur was frowning. As if ready to defend his friend. Which in itself was news to Merlin. Since when did Arthur defend him behind his back? Either way, this was Merlin they were talking about. And it was Gwaine he was talking about him with. There was no need to get defensive. “I didn't think you'd admit it! Especially to me.” The 'everyone loves Merlin, so of course I'm not surprised' was left unsaid. Needless to say. It was only Merlin who didn't recognize that implication.

Arthur let his shoulders slump. “Yeah well. If we're dying anyway, even you teasing me and telling everyone can't make it worse.”

“First of all. Rude. You underestimate me, Sire. You have no idea what I'm capable of. Second of all. Why are you all so dramatic these days? First Leon, now you? We haven't even arrived at the island yet and you're all planning our funerals! Who is to say we even find the island? Or the dragons?”, Gwaine flailed his arms, before putting a soft hand on Arthur's tense shoulders. His tone turned soft. Very unlike Gwaine. But it was not the first time he had worn that expression. He'd acted like this before. Tender and soft and fond. Mostly for Merlin, because Merlin was his first and therefore best friend. And he worried about him too. “And last, but not least. You'll see Merlin again, Sire. And even if he found out, he wouldn't tease you for this. Merlin has a good heart.”

Arthur looked up. Surprised by the comforting tone of Gwaine's voice. After all, Gwaine was not exactly the go to type, when it came down to emotions.

People often underestimate the clown friend. Radiating joy and fun doesn't always come from ignorance and obliviousness. It doesn't always mean they are secretly depressed either. Often, these kind of people have gone through much more than they let on. Often, they have learned to deal with their own emotions and come to the conclusion that having fun, being truly blissful brightens not only the world of others. It brightens their own as well. That doesn't make them less empathetic. It doesn't make them less understanding. Quite the contrary. They have a deep understanding of such situations and decided not to take it seriously. Because not everything has to be. And sometimes it's smarter not to think about stuff too deeply.

“You think?” Arthur's own voice was strangely hopeful. Like knowing he'd see Merlin again was all that mattered. Like the other comfort about surviving wasn't nearly as helpful. Or dare say, important.

“I'm certain.”, Gwaine grinned knowingly. Arthur smiled in relief at that. There was a pause between them, before Arthur added. “If you ever tell him about this conversation, I'll drown you in the ocean.”

Gwaine laughed at that. “No promises, princess.” Truth is, he could. He could easily promise it. But he wouldn't be Gwaine if he said that. It would be too obvious that he was hiding something as well. Arthur laughed.

“Nuts?”, Gwaine asked, suddenly and held out a can full of salted nuts. Startled by the question, Arthur almost bend over from laughing. “You're unbelievable.”, Arthur shook his head. Suddenly embarrassed that he confessed all this to Gwaine. But he accepted the nuts anyway.

The rest of the night was spend almost quietly. Which wasn't for long and Gwaine did his best to just distract Arthur. Which meant, it was just Gwaine and Arthur chatting about Merlin. It was mostly Gwaine. Because Gwaine's mindless babbling often meant talking positively about Arthur's servant. Arthur was already used to this.

For once though, Arthur was just as deeply into the conversation. “I think, if Merlin was here, he'd feel guilty.”

“Why is that?”, Gwaine asked, encouraging Arthur to continue. He barely concealed his grin, because Merlin was witness to all of this. Unable to move which would lead to exposure.

“Well... the last dragon lord died for him. And now we're visiting the last remains of his culture. Even if they have magic. I can't imagine Merlin be anything but devastated, when he meets them. I suppose the idiot would apologize to them. Like it was in any way his fault! Merlin can be such an idiot sometimes. One would think he wants to die, so often as he drinks poison for others or jumps into mid battle, unarmed. I'm honestly glad he has the decency to hide most of the time, while we handle things. I don't think I'd be able to concentrate on fighting, if he just -”, Arthur exhaled a deep breath and flailed his arms to imply Merlin running into knifes. “He's too brave for his own good.”

“Merlin is the bravest.”

“The bravest man I ever met.”, Arthur agreed and got a chuckled clap on his shoulder for that. “Look at you, Sire. Saying all these nice things about Merlin. Wait till I tell him about it.”

Arthur immediately recoiled. “Seriously, don't.”

“Why? What's so bad about him knowing that you care?”, Gwaine frowned in amusement. Thinking, that Arthur was just shy.

“He knows that I care. I'm pretty damn obvious about it. No need to put any more attention to it.”

Gwaine scoffed in disbelieve. “YOU? Obvious that you CARE? Really? This is what you call obvious?”

“What do you mean?”, Arthur frowned, honestly confused, while Merlin was trying to breathe even slower. Because somehow Arthur had shifted closer to the blanket. A hand was put on it. If Arthur himself made the wrong move, he'd accidentally pull the blanket off of him.

“Arthur. I don't think Merlin even knows you appreciate him at all.”

Arthur was stunned with silence. “You're joking.” Merlin blinked underneath the blanket. Just what on earth was Arthur talking about?

Gwaine stared at him. “Sire... what exactly do you understand about being obvious about this?”

Arthur frowned. “Well... Erm. I'm the prince of Camelot. My father has never allowed me to have friends that are not royal enough to be of knightly status. Merlin is a servant. Yet, he's my best friend.”

Gwaine stared back at him. “Have you told him that?”

Arthur blinked. “No... because my father would ground me, if I ever did. But I have...”, he slowly swayed to the side, searching for the right words. “I treat him like a knight. I take him on hunts where servants are not allowed. I used to punch him, too, like I would a knight, to cheer him up. Though I stopped that, because he said he doesn't like it. And I mean... I stopped. I wouldn't do that for just anyone!

My guards have been ordered to let him into my room, even if I ordered them to let no one in. If I don't want him around, I have to tell them that specially. I er... let him steal my food. He loves blackberries. So do I, but he doesn't need to know that.

He's always insulting me or my father behind his back, but I don't really throw him in the stocks for that. Which I should. That kind of talk is treason. He could be hanged for that, you know?

I give him unnecessary chores, just so he has a reason to hang out with me. And he doesn't get punished, though what he does is a really shabby job. Now that I think about it, I think I mostly pay him for insulting me.

I've defended him in front of my father. I have used my word as knight for him more than once. I have trusted him with my life and drank poison because he told me it was a good idea. Or because the choice was either him or myself. And I trusted him with the antidote or with taking my royal seal back to Camelot to whoever I want to precede me. I have saved his life and protected him in battle...”, at this point, Arthur was counting on his fingers and it looked like he was about to go on for hours.

However, Gwaine looked at him oddly, which made Arthur pause as soon as he noticed. “What?”, he asked, clearly confused with Gwaine's reaction.

“Well... just. I see what you mean.”, Gwaine was talking slowly. Realizing that yes... from Arthur's point of view, all of that was actually extraordinary behavior. But for anyone else... “But you do realize that most of that is just... Look. The things you describe...

Half of the stuff happens behind his back, which you don't tell him. So how would he know? Other stuff is like.... Merlin probably thinks he's just stealing your stuff. Defending someone innocent is not something you do for someone you like. It's something you do for strangers, if their life depends on it. It's something Merlin himself would do for anyone.

And... treating him like a person when he argues with you and taking him seriously is hardly an expression of love, Arthur. I know in your position that's different. But to anyone else. Jesus christ, how do I put this?

The only extraordinary thing about all this, is you risking your life for him. Which he would do for you – for anyone really – without even thinking. And YOU would die for your own people too. I hardly think he sees a difference in your behavior towards him and your general behavior to your people.

Merlin would risk his life for anyone. He doesn't even demand thanks for it.

What you do, is... for a prince.... extremely … er... let's say affectionate. But for Merlin, it's... how do I put it … less than the minimum.”

Arthur blinked. Finally Merlin shifted underneath the blanket. His eyes blinking rapidly now. Gwaine was right. This WAS how he saw things. But the way Arthur described the way he acted.... that wasn't just Arthur trying his best to be a good prince or person. This was Arthur trying his hardest to show he cared! Cared for Merlin! Merlin felt... touched? Kind of. The crush thing aside. That was a whole different level of work in process. (1) He felt his own face heat up with the knowledge that these things... These things that Merlin had guessed were normal for Arthur... that Arthur had done them on purpose. That he had actually thought about Merlin to make sure he was cared for. That this was a far as he could push himself and did it despite the risk of being scolded by his father.

Arthur's mouth was open now. Unable to retort or add on to his previous examples. “But -”

“You do know, Merlin still doesn't believe us, when we tell him that you risked your life getting him a flower, because he thinks we're messing with him, right?”

“That's ridiculous. That flower was needed for an antidote! What is there to doubt about it?”, Arthur exclaimed, almost furious. Merlin shuddered in surprise. 'Huh?', he thought to himself, his face flushing hard.

“Yeah. I know. He does not.”, Gwaine nodded eagerly.

“But... I thought I was so obvious? I mean... Even my father noticed! He's told me I was getting too close to Merlin. So I tried to hold back, but... I thought Merlin knew.”, Arthur appeared shocked. Like someone had just turned his entire world upside down.

“The king noticed?”, Gwaine raised both eyebrows in shock.

“Yes, I mean. When I came back with that flower, he threw me in the dungeons for it. He keeps reminding me that I'm not supposed to be friends with Merlin. He keeps offering me new servants! I've turned down five offers last week!”

Gwaine's mouth dropped open. “Woow.”, he made impressed. “If Uther thinks THAT's a lot. What kind of childhood did you have?”

Arthur looked up, surprised. “I dunno? A normal one I guess? I mean. I didn't have a mom and my father was always busy and Morgana and I were fighting all the time, so....”

Gwaine's eyes squished a little. “Have you ever even been hugged?”, he asked with suspicion.

Arthur straightened his back. “I'm.... not supposed to get close to people until I get married.”, he muttered. Gwaine stared and his mouth dropped open again. “I meant Uther. Did you father never hug you?”

“Was he supposed to do that?”

Gwaine's jaw dropped. “And here I always thought you just were a stuck up royal like anyone else. But your father abandoned you. No wonder you have no idea how to deal with emotions.” Arthur flushed and tried to retort, but then he closed his mouth. Embarrassed.

Gwaine hurried to correct himself. “I mean... considering all this, you're doing a lot, actually. You're a good man, Arthur. I wouldn't be your knight, if I didn't think you were worth dying for. Just. God damn it, I'm getting so mad right now. Your father is an asshole. I mean, I already knew that. But holy shit.”

Arthur frowned. “Don't talk about my father like this!”, he growled, but Gwaine stopped him again. “Nope. You don't get to decide that. You're in denial. He abandoned you. He keeps sending you on quests that could get you killed. He didn't even show you that he cares if you come back!”

“He cried when he thought I was dead though!”, Arthur commented, remembering the troll Catrina accident.

Gwaine blinked. “Good to know where he draws the line. What the fuck, Arthur.”

Arthur bit his lips. He felt defensive for his father. But... wasn't it bad... that he couldn't see a single flaw in Gwaine's accusation?

“Merlin is your exact opposite, you know.”, Gwaine suddenly said and slowly patted Arthur's shoulder. This time highly aware of the fact that this was probably the closest contact Arthur allowed for anyone. Apart from the fact that Arthur had a crush on Merlin and Merlin was the guy who dressed him.... Let's not get into that.

“I know.”

“He grew up with a mom who hugged him every day. Arthur, Merlin is the most affectionate person I know. He's extremely emotional and he's not afraid to show it.”

“I know.”, Arthur said again, but this time softer.

“Compared to that your way of dealing with things probably looks more like you're pushing him away.”

Arthur's head sank and his shoulders dropped. He grabbed the blanket tighter. “I know.”, he said yet again. Frustrated this time. 'I'm trying.', he didn't say, but they all knew it.

“You should talk to him.”

“I know.”, Arthur was defeated.

It was quiet between them once again and Arthur stared out on the sea. And from the distance, you could see the first sun rays of the day illuminate the wooden deck of the ship. Arthur stared at it, as long as it was possible to look into the direction. While Gwaine watched him with worry. Gwaine had almost forgotten Merlin was still there. Merlin, who was trying his hardest to appear invisible. And quiet. And still. Nobody could hear his loud heart beat, but Merlin himself. Though he could swear someone had to notice at some point.

“Rise and shine.”, Arthur suddenly said and smiled to himself. For the first time, the conversation went beyond Gwaine's understanding and he could just stare at him in confusion.

But Merlin could hear what Arthur was actually saying. It was the sentence Merlin always woke Arthur up with. In this context, it meant, Arthur was thinking of that. Of early mornings and Merlin in it. The way his smile slowly fell, Merlin could feel that Arthur was actually missing him. And hoping he was here. Unaware that his wish had already come true.

It took Merlin everything he had in himself, to not jump up from underneath the blanket and just hug him to death. Which he now knew would equal a marriage proposal to Arthur. Oh god, all those love potion incidents …. where Arthur hugged and kissed random women. The boy must have had a mental breakdown afterwards. Now that Merlin thought of it, Arthur used to behave really strange after those incidents.

Meaning, he wouldn't talk to anyone. He would excuse himself a lot. Would be anxious around everyone he was forced to talk to. And he'd be especially awkward around Merlin. Merlin's eyes widened once again with a start and it paralyzed him as he realized precisely WHY that had been. He flushed. And he was glad Arthur couldn't see him like this.

“Sire?”, Gwaine finally asked, still uncharacteristically gentle. Arthur shook his head. “Nothing. I'll go back to sleep. Leon should be up soon. I think he's already feeling much better.” Arthur sighed and pushed himself up. He let go of the blanket, making Merlin exhale a deep breath. Then he took the ladder down again.

One last time, he was stopped by Gwaine. “Wait, Arthur.”

Arthur stopped for a moment. “What is it?”, he asked.

“You like Merlin right? As in, you're in love with him.”

Arthur flushed, but he answered with a hesitant “yes.”. Which was like a major blow in Merlin's guts. Because being in love was an entirely different thing than having a crush. And yet, to have this confirmed... Merlin struggled to breathe.

“What will you do, if he doesn't like you back?”

There was a pause. A heavy one. Then Arthur sighed. “Gwaine... It's not like anything can happen between us anyway. Even if Merlin did like me back. I can't tell him. Merlin is the best friend I have. I couldn't bear to loose him. I won't let anything or anyone, not my father, not a potential wife, not even my own feelings get in the way of that. I won't ruin what we have. I couldn't live with myself.” And with that, he disappeared under deck. Leaving Gwaine behind, completely stunned.

Finally, Merlin pulled the blanket off of himself and dramatically breathed the fresh air around him. It had started to get really stuffy under that.

Gwaine turned around, almost startled. As if he had truly forgotten that Merlin had been there. They looked at each other for a moment. Unsure what to say.

--------------------------------------------

The storm hit the boat without any warning. Maybe, if they had known about the “calm before the storm”, they would have noticed that there was – indeed – a warning. But they didn't. Because Uther didn't care that these knights had no idea about sailing. Or rather, most of them. The one's who did know about it, had been asleep, as Arthur had assigned none of them to keep watch.

They were lucky they made it in time to get the sails in. But as soon as the storm was raging, they had to hold on to everything for dear life. They had no time to fixate any of their belongings to the ship. Which meant that now, barrels and bottles and cups and knifes and anything they had lying about, was now thrown around their ears.

Those who had the great misfortune to get knocked out by a barrel, got thrown of the ship. But through all that, you couldn't hear the screams and the shouts. The storm was so loud, it deafened everything that was further than two steps away.

In a strange way, the storm came over them silently. Merlin had never managed to get back into his barrel. But he had shushed Gwaine to bind himself to the watchtower. The entire thing was about to be blown off, was it not for Merlin's magic.

In fact, while Gwaine closed his eyes, praying the storm to be over, Merlin used his magic to keep his friends safe. Albeit, there were too many of them. He couldn't safe everyone. But he DID manage to keep Arthur safe. Who was running around in that blasted armor and shouting orders to his subordinates. He was not lucky to be okay. He was lucky to have Merlin to keep him that way.

That was, until Merlin saw his own barrel being thrown off the ship. And Lancelot saw it. But Lancelot didn't know Merlin wasn't in there. Oh fucking hell no.

Lancelot screamed his name. And he managed to shout so loud, that Arthur turned around, totally confused why one of his knights would shout out the name of his servant in the middle of a storm. But Arthur, foolish, kind, love deprived Arthur, made the connection. And when Lancelot shouted at him to explain that Merlin was supposed to be IN that barrel that was now about to drown on the ocean. Arthur did the most foolish thing a prince could do.

He gave Leon the authority.... and – in a panic- jumped after Merlin.

Who was not in that barrel, but on the watch tower. Who watched and stared and couldn't believe what he saw. Because Arthur had just JUMPED of the ship for him. Fully armed with his sword and knife and wearing armor.

'That fucking idiot.”, Merlin mouthed and now panic washed over him as well. In a moment decision, Merlin yelled at Gwaine to stay where he was. And then he slid down the ladder. Not even bothering to use the steps. His hands already burned from the heat of the fraction. And splinters of the cold wood edged into his skin. But he didn't give a damn.

He ran over the deck, seeing panicked and confused faces everywhere and then he directly jumped after Arthur.

The storm wouldn't stop for another five hours. Thanks to Merlin, the casualties were little to none. But even after the storm had calmed and the sea lay still around them, while the knights tried to catch their breath.... Merlin and Arthur could not be found among the wrecks. And Leon's headache was returning. (1) The sentence: work in process is a mix of work in progress and processing something. I found that creative. It’s intentional :)

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[dragonquill]

Durin’s Day: Boxing Day Edition??

Here is my fic for Durin’s Day!  It was inspired by the amazing @ofahattersmind, who was 100% more patient than I deserve with my writing issues this month. 

See the lovely art here!

Happy Durin’s Day ah....delayed!

----

Fili is five the first time it happens. 

It begins with a sense of warmth and contentment that almost makes sense - he’s by the fire with his parents, and happy enough - but the warmth is stifling and the contentment brief.  But what follows - a sense of searing brightness, fear, indignation, is so clearly foreign that he bursts into tears, burying his face in his father’s chest and shaking with the power of it.  

He tries to explain, but he’s only a child, five years old and precocious but with no point of reference for what’s just happened to him.  It passes in minutes, and his sobs give way to little gasps for breaths and the occasional hiccup as his father rubs his back and kisses his hair and worries over him.

His mother has her suspicions, but keeps them to herself.

Keep reading or Read on Ao3!

----

For Kili, there is no “first time.”  From the day he’s born, he seems oddly mercurial, his mood shifting suddenly from time to time.  He’s a cheerful, loving child, outgoing and friendly nearly to a fault (“We don’t talk to strangers,” he recites after his mother, but once someone says hello, they’re not a stranger anymore!).  But there are times when he goes quiet and thoughtful, watching the world instead of forcing himself on it.  He likes those times, he says.  He feels peaceful.  Like he’s not alone.  

“That’s our Kili,” his mother says fondly, watching him go from spinning in hyperactive circles to curling up happily on the couch, watching the crackling fire. 

----

Kili hears words first.  Perhaps it should frighten him, but it doesn’t.  It feels like his quiet times, and the voice in his head isn’t saying anything scary.  It’s a little boy voice, like his, and it’s studiously practicing multiplication tables.  Kili’s years from learning them, though when the day comes he’ll already know them and won’t quite be able to explain how. 

In the stories about soul bonds, the first communication is usually dramatic and meaningful, the beginning of something otherworldly.

For Kili, it makes his nines tables a sinch five years later.

----

Fili’s parents die when he’s twelve.  His uncle takes him in, serious Thorin with his Durin-blue eyes and limited understanding of how children work.  He is the one who tells Fili about soulbonds, how rare they are, how their minds meet across the entire world.  He suspects Fili has one.

“And if you do,” he says, as gently as he knows how, “they’ll be feeling all the pain you’re feeling, and might be very scared by it.”

Maybe it’s a dirty trick, using a boy’s empathy for others to dry his tears and toughen up, but it appears to work.  Fili stops crying so much, starts getting out of bed and living life.

But what Kili feels, far away, isn’t the facade but the real thing.

His parents worry and fuss and arrange for therapy as he cries himself to sleep, night after night.

-----

Fili is rather secretive by nature.  He doesn’t want to bother anyone into worrying about him, and by the time he’s fourteen, he certainly knows they’d worry if they knew he talks to himself in his head all the time. The fact that the voice is different from his own only makes it more disturbing.  

I hate living with Thorin he’ll sulk, because Thorin is trying but he isn’t Fili’s parents. And his own mind answers Yeah he seems like a and a stuttering pause before dick that makes Fili laugh.  

And then he’ll find himself defending Thorin, who isn’t so bad, and the voice makes up a silly song about Thorin’s tendency to talk like it’s 1854 until Fili is sprawled in bed grinning to himself over how clever the voice in his head is, and why can’t he be that clever in real life?

----

Kili is an open book, and he forgets not to just talk back to the voice in his head.  It’s cute when he’s a little boy with his invisible friend, but the older he gets the more concerned the adults in his life get.  

He doesn’t know about the quiet meetings among counselors, teachers, and his parents.  He doesn’t really understand the new doctor who tries to convince him the voice isn’t real.  

He doesn’t like the summer he has to leave home and go stay in a hospital for two weeks during his vacation.  He’s furious, and lonely, and everyone is telling him to lie about the friend in his mind, but he’s not a good liar by nature.

I’ll know the truth his brain-friend says.  We’ll know.  Just tell them you don’t and then tell me you do.  It’ll make them happy.

Kili is reluctant, but he does as he’s told.

He still slips up sometimes,and he sees the worry in his parents’ eyes and laughs it off.  He’s a class clown, right?  He can get rid of these things.

Only his friend knows he hates it, hates the lies, curls up in his covers and sniffles some nights, feeling like a bad person.  

For a while, his friend promises to go away, and leave him alone. But that is so much worse, because it’s quiet in his head and he’s all alone and. “Is this what people want me feel?” he asks the dark, arms wrapped around a well-worn blush manatee he’s too old for as well (keeps it under the bed so his parents won’t take it away, as his friend suggested).  “It’s awful.”

And he tells his friend just how awful it is, until he comes back.

---

It’s sensible enough to name his inner voice Kili, Fili figures.  As good as anything else.  It is just an aspect of himself.  A..creative one.  Who tells stories about a life different from him.  Who lives out some of Fili’s fears (is he not quite sane?? Is his inner voice too much??  Don’t writers and such have this??  It’s fine, it’s fine).  Who is warm and funny and optimistic in a way Fili isn’t, but wants to be.  

Just a way of thinking things through.  It’s fine if he gives it a name.

He hopes.

----

His friend’s name is Fili, and Kili loves how they match. It’s like destiny in his favorite tv show!  They’re meant to be the best of friends!  The show is all about a legend about soulmates being bound from birth, and talking to each other, and finding each other and--

---

Fili visits the library, and researches, and wonders.

---

It happens on a lovely fall day in Fili’s home town. Fili is working on his post graduate degree in business administration - not the most interesting, but it’ll help out his uncle’s business, and that’s a guaranteed job that will pay enough that he can hone his own hobbies and interests on his off time. He’s still sensible, but that doesn’t mean he can’t turn some of that practicality to funding his personal interest in writing and travel. 

He’s also working at the business’s central office, actual pay instead of an internship, so he’s stayed close to home.  He’s saving money for a trip down south, for warm weather and sprawling beaches that remind him of stories he’s heard.  Or.  Made up.  Via Kili.

Fili tosses hair back over his shoulder, adjusts his coat, and walks into his favorite park.  The trees here were selected to look as colorful as possible in autumn, and he loves it.  Best time of year, hands down.

-----

Unlike Fili, Kili traveled for university.  He’s on the archery and lacrosse teams, with actual scholarships, and he’s studying English, which is mostly so he can go on into a proper specialty in myths and folktales.  He secretly believes he is a folk tale, despite the counseling and medications to convince him otherwise.  He loves the city, filled with carefully maintained parks and currently a chaos of fall colors.  It’s too hot back home for anything like this-

He sees someone out of the corner of his eye, and turns his head with practiced nonchalance for a better look.  Kili is a man who appreciates the human form.  Oh ho, he thinks, he’s hot.

And he is, all long golden hair and neat beard and fur lined leather jacket.  He’s shorter than Kili, but more solid.  He looks delicious, in the best way.

Stop creeping people out, says Fili in his head, and Kili laughs.

The man stops, frowning a little.”Odd,” he says aloud in a soft tenor voice that makes Kili’s heart thump.

He gives his head a little shake before looking around.  Blue eyes- so blue Kili can make them out from a fair distance - flicker in Kili’s direction.  He doesn’t seem to have a bit of Kili’s secret shyness.  He smiles, slow and inviting.

Never mind, I’ve found a pretty one, too, Fili says in Kili’s mind.

Kili nearly chokes on his own spit.  

The blond man turns and walks closer, more than a hint of swagger in his steps. 

“Hey,” he says smoothly.

-----

Kili feels his jaw drop.  His heart is racing.  He can hear it in his ears.  He bungee jumped once, Fili refusing to have anything to do with it.  It felt like this, like ziplines and roller coasters that flip you upside down.

He clicks his jaw shut.  

“Ah...hey,” he says back, intelligently.

---

Fili feels a flash of concern, and steps closer.  “You okay?”  He puts his hands up.  “Promise I’m not a serial killer after tourists.  I’m honestly just flirting.”

---

“I’m not a tourist!”  It’s not what Kili means to say, because he knows, in his bones, who this guy is.  He wonders why he never really thought about what Fili must look like.  He’d have thought taller, but everything else…

Yum.

“I’ve been here a year!”

----

“Oh, pardon.”  Fili grins and bows like an old-fashioned gentleman.  “Practically a local, then.  Does that mean you’re familiar with the Ri Family Teashop?”

Fili is forward, but not usually this forward.  But somehow, he wants to know this person.

Or already knows him.

Something.

----

Kili starts to grin.  “Are you asking me to tea?” he asks, because oh, good, Fili knows him too.

“Hmm.  I don’t know.  My mother said never to have tea with strangers.”  Fili holds a hand.  “Fili Durin, local peacekeeper and not an axe murderer, and you are?”

----

The cutie is staring at him, and the stare is starting to look singularly unimpressed.  “You know who I am, Fili.”

“Ah, afraid not,” Fili answers, but there’s a tug in his belly like he’s lying to his uncle Thorin about why he was out so late as a teenager.  “But I very much hope to.”

The definitely a nine sighs and puts his hands on his hips.  “I honestly thought you were smarter than this.  But you can’t be completely perfect, I guess.”  But he’s smiling, fit to battle the sun, and Fili can’t even work up a sense fo indignation.  “It’s me, Fili.  It’s Kili.”

-----

Fili will deny it until they are old and grey, and Kili will just keep telling the truth anyway.

Fili’s eyes roll back in his head, and he stumbles, and Kili grabs Fili in his strong arms like the hero he is.  It’s not fair to say Fili passes out, maybe fades a bit would be more accurate.

Either way, he regrets it forever because it makes him the damsel who wakens (blinks and sees better, because he wasn’t unconscious or anything that dramatic, correct?) in the arms of a stranger who is no stranger at all.  And dammit, Kili even kisses him awake.

(It’s soft and chaste and sweet and Kili, a press of lips just like his voice, beloved and real and everything Fili ever wanted to be real.)

“Hi,” Kili says again, grinning down at him.  “Welcome back.”

Fili will argue later that he didn’t go anywhere and he would have been fine and etc. etc, but for now, he reaches up from his awkward arching slouch in Kili’s arms and brushes hair from those playful hazel eyes, and tugs him down for their second kiss.

----

Nice!, they think, and the kiss turns into laughter.

[lizard-devil]

Shifts. So I describe a lot of otherkin occurrences intuitively, but I realized it's good to describe them with the specific terminology that's already been developed.

So what I've experienced is:

Sensory shift: when I suddenly became aware of the shadows, that the shadows too have a life force just like plants, flames, streams, and wind. At first I was afraid, because the shadows are a living presence that I just noticed when I hadn't before. After I realized I'm demonkin, I was able to use the shadows and the night to psychically heal myself. It helps with my insomnia and reminds me that I'm a devil comfortable in the shadows and at night.

Aura shift: I couldn't see the actual color of my aura for most of my life, it was this kind of blurry haze. The first time I used fire magic to psychically set myself on psychic fire, then I could see that my aura is yellow light in the shape of flames. I think I might have been using the fire of my aura to use fire magic, because I wasn't drawing on an external energy source like I would for water magic or wind magic.

Phantom shift: When I grow my devil wings, tail, and horns. The tail is the most consistent, it's always long and black ending at an arrow-shaped point. The wings are usually black and the part facing outward is gray but they also are sometimes yellow, sometimes red, and when I feel my best they are black and part facing outward is red. My horns range from small goat horns to upward-facing bull horns turned outwards at the ends. When I'm feeling proud, the horns are black.

The claws are black as well, I don't see them often.

Sometimes I can induce my arms and hands to become covered with shadow. But I'm guessing that's shapeshifting because it's voluntary. I have never seen my whole devil form except for in my mind's eye, where it was an involuntary flash.

Cameo shift: Most common cameo shifts for me are phantom earthly lizard or lizard monster tails. Occasionally, dragon wings, and it's always a gray dragon. The dragon tail usually appears separately and it's a lot longer than my devil tail. It feels strange. Very rarely, my wings shift to angel wings, which is horrifying but soon the feathers fall off and they are devil wings once again.

Dream shift: During my dreams, my shifts are always cameo shifts, sometimes lucid dreams and I can control the shift, other times not.

Voluntary: Manatee

Semi-voluntary: Frog, through a magic talisman given by my frog grandmother, but I activated the transformation.

Involuntary: Bird wings, but I was able to control where I flew. I flew fairly near the ground.

Mental shift: Feeling of great confidence, strength, of wisdom, the sense of being ancient, feeling mischievous glee, and feeling not only competence but mastery over certain knowledge or skills.

Mental cameo shift: Lizard monster, I shift to the perspective of an earthly lizard while in the psychic form of a lizard monster. Cameo shift is phantom tail only, the whole form of the cameo shift is in my mind's eye. I have not ever shifted into a dragon in my mind's eye, though I have sometimes gained a dragon's perspective while maintaining my separate consciousness.

[naturecoaster]

Why I Love Florida’s Nature Coast

I look ahead and there is a curving blacktop taking me through stands of pine, oak, and sugar maple trees with occasional citrus trees popping up here and there. I feel safe and nurtured by the natural surroundings. In the winter, the sugar maples turn colors like orange and red. Some of the bushes turn yellow. It is our version of the northern fall colors and it is beautiful. I keep an eye open for traveling deer, tortoises, squirrels, and other fauna that may want to cross the roads I travel, both to keep from hitting them and to appreciate their graceful presence. I am on my way to a Chamber of Commerce luncheon, where I will meet and eat with fellow small business owners, politicians, committed nonprofit directors, resort directors, and other community leaders. We will chat about families, upcoming events, business, responsibilities, and opportunities, then we will unanimously stand and pledge our allegiance to our country and say a prayer for God’s wisdom, guidance, and blessings. I may be given 5 minutes to pitch my business to attendees. I always feel unity and hope when I attend these luncheons. Some have resulted in new business. Some have resulted in new friends, and some have resulted in new responsibilities, but they all remind me of how fortunate I am to live in a place that still promotes solid values and community partnerships. Florida's Nature Coast Florida’s Nature Coast ranges from Pasco County north to Wachulla County along the Big Bend coast. It is an informally designated area originally proposed by Florida’s Governor Lawton Chiles. NatureCoaster only covers Pasco, Hernando, and Citrus Counties because that is the area we know best. Read about the history of the Nature Coast here. This 1,000+ square miles of Florida’s Gulf Coast has a history that is echoed from small town to small town. The east side of the Suncoast Parkway is still heavily forested as part of the Withlacoochee State Forest. This is a true gem of natural preservation that helps to shape the character of the eastern portion of the area. There are several ranches, farms, and large cow/calf operations, including the Bellamy Brothers Ranch, the Barthle Brothers Ranch, Campton Ranch, and Fenco Farms. The cows moved to high ground for the storm and made it through just fine with a roll or two of hay. Image by Diane Bedard The west side of each county has been developed to enjoy water-based recreation such as fishing and boating and swimming with manatees. This coast does not feature traditional beaches but instead boasts ecologically-friendly saltwater marshes and tidal grasses along its shores. In fact, we have the Nature Coast Aquatic Preserve and the north end of the Tampa Bay Aquatic Preserve protecting our natural shorelines. Protected Springs and Rivers are Part of the Magic The hydrology is amazing! First-magnitude freshwater springs abound throughout Florida’s Nature Coast, with Weeki Wachee Springs probably being the most famous thanks to Newt Perry and his original Weeki Wachee Park. Today Weeki Wachee Springs is a State Park, protecting the headwaters of the Weeki Wachee River. Next is Homosassa Springs, with its 1960s attraction and resort having been converted into a State Park, protecting the headwaters of the Homosassa River. The torpedo-shaped manatee glides through the waters at Homosassa Springs State Wildlife Park, one of the places you can find manatees year-round on the NautreCoast. Photo by Sally White Old Homosassa is a fishing village that is still a working waterfront, with fishermen and shrimpers plying its waters to make a living. There are also resorts and charters for vacationers and visitors, as well as the Yulee Sugar Mill Ruins, which is what remains of a huge plantation that was located in Homosassa, but was burned out by the union armies. Read about it here. Tampa Bay Pushes Northward, but Can't Overrun Our Small-Town Culture As Tampa Bay pushes northward into this region, many ranches have been converted to subdivisions and planned communities, but the small-town culture remains in the cities that populate the region, including Zephyrhills, Dade City, Brooksville, Inverness, and Crystal River. Some are feeling the transition more, like New Port Richey with its historic downtown, riverfront, and small business culture inching toward a more urban feel with its public recreation center and city services. Port Richey is a city just north of New Port Richey. Its lack of a downtown area is replaced by an active waterfront district. There are many census-designated places like Aripeka, Hernando Beach, Spring Hill, Bayport, Hudson, Homosassa, Land O’Lakes, Beverly Hills, Ridge Manor, Elfers, Lecanto, Holiday, and Floral City. While Spring Hill and Land O'Lakes have become popular residential areas, they have no downtown or city services. Lecanto is growing like wildfire with residential and commercial growth. It is in central Citrus County and the county’s government services are located there. Wesley Chapel is another census-designated area that is booming! Starting with Saddlebrook Resort, a nationally recognized golf and tennis resort, Wesley Chapel began its growth in the 1980s and has become a powerhouse in the east Pasco region. To drive State Road 54 from I-75 to Zephyrhills is an exercise in growth through residential development. Still, when you get to Zephyrhills, the pace slows down and the small businesses abound. You never know where you will find the roaming manatee at the Florida Manatee Festival in Crystal River. Image courtesy of Citrus County Chamber of Commerce. Did I mention the Festivals? This area has so many fun festivals! The Manatee Festival, the Kumquat Festival, BBQ & Blues, the Stone Crab Festival, the Seafood and Arts Festival, Art in the Park, Camping with the Blues, Blues Bash at the Ranch, Brooksville Blueberry Festival, Holistic Health Festival, Multicultural Festival, Chasco Fiesta, and... I cannot name them all! AND PARADES! Keep up with it all on our Events Page. I am so grateful that natural areas have been preserved throughout the Nature Coast region. And I am grateful for the people that make up this area, including you. Below you will find lists of parks and preserves that help keep our nature coast natural. Whenever you have the opportunity to just pull into one of them and take a short break, I encourage you to do so. Parks and Recreation Areas to Enjoy on the Nature Coast Citrus County Parks Leisure: - Boat Ramps & Fishing Piers - Skate Parks Trails: - Citrus County Cycling - Friends of the Withlacoochee State Trail - Withlacoochee Bay Trail - Withlacoochee State Trail Other Parks: - City of Crystal River Parks - City of Inverness Parks - Florida State Parks - State Parks & Preserves Hernando County Parks - Hernando County Parks - City of Brooksville Parks - Hernando County Preserves - Boat Ramps and Fishing Piers Pasco County Parks - Pasco County Parks - Pasco County Aquatic Parks Read the full article