#ofahattersmind

[ofahattersmind]

Baby hatter is here, and he looks awfully familiar 🤔 the right is my newborn photo 👀

[i-am-pinkie]

@ofahattersmind you are brilliant! That is so absolutely true and right!

andrew garfield saying, “i hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that i didn’t get to tell her” about his mothers passing is so gut wrenchingly beautiful because we rarely talk about the love we want to express but can’t, not because you’re not brave enough to say it out loud but because they’re not here to listen to it anymore. calling grief the love you never had the chance to share makes it less of a burden and more of something you want to keep and not something terrible you want to move on from. i love love how everything about grief always comes down to “what is grief if not love persevering?”

[gatheringfiki]

The following artwork was created by @ofahattersmind​  in 2019.

[dragonquill]

Durin’s Day: Boxing Day Edition??

Here is my fic for Durin’s Day!  It was inspired by the amazing @ofahattersmind, who was 100% more patient than I deserve with my writing issues this month. 

See the lovely art here!

Happy Durin’s Day ah....delayed!

----

Fili is five the first time it happens. 

It begins with a sense of warmth and contentment that almost makes sense - he’s by the fire with his parents, and happy enough - but the warmth is stifling and the contentment brief.  But what follows - a sense of searing brightness, fear, indignation, is so clearly foreign that he bursts into tears, burying his face in his father’s chest and shaking with the power of it.  

He tries to explain, but he’s only a child, five years old and precocious but with no point of reference for what’s just happened to him.  It passes in minutes, and his sobs give way to little gasps for breaths and the occasional hiccup as his father rubs his back and kisses his hair and worries over him.

His mother has her suspicions, but keeps them to herself.

Keep reading or Read on Ao3!

----

For Kili, there is no “first time.”  From the day he’s born, he seems oddly mercurial, his mood shifting suddenly from time to time.  He’s a cheerful, loving child, outgoing and friendly nearly to a fault (“We don’t talk to strangers,” he recites after his mother, but once someone says hello, they’re not a stranger anymore!).  But there are times when he goes quiet and thoughtful, watching the world instead of forcing himself on it.  He likes those times, he says.  He feels peaceful.  Like he’s not alone.  

“That’s our Kili,” his mother says fondly, watching him go from spinning in hyperactive circles to curling up happily on the couch, watching the crackling fire. 

----

Kili hears words first.  Perhaps it should frighten him, but it doesn’t.  It feels like his quiet times, and the voice in his head isn’t saying anything scary.  It’s a little boy voice, like his, and it’s studiously practicing multiplication tables.  Kili’s years from learning them, though when the day comes he’ll already know them and won’t quite be able to explain how. 

In the stories about soul bonds, the first communication is usually dramatic and meaningful, the beginning of something otherworldly.

For Kili, it makes his nines tables a sinch five years later.

----

Fili’s parents die when he’s twelve.  His uncle takes him in, serious Thorin with his Durin-blue eyes and limited understanding of how children work.  He is the one who tells Fili about soulbonds, how rare they are, how their minds meet across the entire world.  He suspects Fili has one.

“And if you do,” he says, as gently as he knows how, “they’ll be feeling all the pain you’re feeling, and might be very scared by it.”

Maybe it’s a dirty trick, using a boy’s empathy for others to dry his tears and toughen up, but it appears to work.  Fili stops crying so much, starts getting out of bed and living life.

But what Kili feels, far away, isn’t the facade but the real thing.

His parents worry and fuss and arrange for therapy as he cries himself to sleep, night after night.

-----

Fili is rather secretive by nature.  He doesn’t want to bother anyone into worrying about him, and by the time he’s fourteen, he certainly knows they’d worry if they knew he talks to himself in his head all the time. The fact that the voice is different from his own only makes it more disturbing.  

I hate living with Thorin he’ll sulk, because Thorin is trying but he isn’t Fili’s parents. And his own mind answers Yeah he seems like a and a stuttering pause before dick that makes Fili laugh.  

And then he’ll find himself defending Thorin, who isn’t so bad, and the voice makes up a silly song about Thorin’s tendency to talk like it’s 1854 until Fili is sprawled in bed grinning to himself over how clever the voice in his head is, and why can’t he be that clever in real life?

----

Kili is an open book, and he forgets not to just talk back to the voice in his head.  It’s cute when he’s a little boy with his invisible friend, but the older he gets the more concerned the adults in his life get.  

He doesn’t know about the quiet meetings among counselors, teachers, and his parents.  He doesn’t really understand the new doctor who tries to convince him the voice isn’t real.  

He doesn’t like the summer he has to leave home and go stay in a hospital for two weeks during his vacation.  He’s furious, and lonely, and everyone is telling him to lie about the friend in his mind, but he’s not a good liar by nature.

I’ll know the truth his brain-friend says.  We’ll know.  Just tell them you don’t and then tell me you do.  It’ll make them happy.

Kili is reluctant, but he does as he’s told.

He still slips up sometimes,and he sees the worry in his parents’ eyes and laughs it off.  He’s a class clown, right?  He can get rid of these things.

Only his friend knows he hates it, hates the lies, curls up in his covers and sniffles some nights, feeling like a bad person.  

For a while, his friend promises to go away, and leave him alone. But that is so much worse, because it’s quiet in his head and he’s all alone and. “Is this what people want me feel?” he asks the dark, arms wrapped around a well-worn blush manatee he’s too old for as well (keeps it under the bed so his parents won’t take it away, as his friend suggested).  “It’s awful.”

And he tells his friend just how awful it is, until he comes back.

---

It’s sensible enough to name his inner voice Kili, Fili figures.  As good as anything else.  It is just an aspect of himself.  A..creative one.  Who tells stories about a life different from him.  Who lives out some of Fili’s fears (is he not quite sane?? Is his inner voice too much??  Don’t writers and such have this??  It’s fine, it’s fine).  Who is warm and funny and optimistic in a way Fili isn’t, but wants to be.  

Just a way of thinking things through.  It’s fine if he gives it a name.

He hopes.

----

His friend’s name is Fili, and Kili loves how they match. It’s like destiny in his favorite tv show!  They’re meant to be the best of friends!  The show is all about a legend about soulmates being bound from birth, and talking to each other, and finding each other and--

---

Fili visits the library, and researches, and wonders.

---

It happens on a lovely fall day in Fili’s home town. Fili is working on his post graduate degree in business administration - not the most interesting, but it’ll help out his uncle’s business, and that’s a guaranteed job that will pay enough that he can hone his own hobbies and interests on his off time. He’s still sensible, but that doesn’t mean he can’t turn some of that practicality to funding his personal interest in writing and travel. 

He’s also working at the business’s central office, actual pay instead of an internship, so he’s stayed close to home.  He’s saving money for a trip down south, for warm weather and sprawling beaches that remind him of stories he’s heard.  Or.  Made up.  Via Kili.

Fili tosses hair back over his shoulder, adjusts his coat, and walks into his favorite park.  The trees here were selected to look as colorful as possible in autumn, and he loves it.  Best time of year, hands down.

-----

Unlike Fili, Kili traveled for university.  He’s on the archery and lacrosse teams, with actual scholarships, and he’s studying English, which is mostly so he can go on into a proper specialty in myths and folktales.  He secretly believes he is a folk tale, despite the counseling and medications to convince him otherwise.  He loves the city, filled with carefully maintained parks and currently a chaos of fall colors.  It’s too hot back home for anything like this-

He sees someone out of the corner of his eye, and turns his head with practiced nonchalance for a better look.  Kili is a man who appreciates the human form.  Oh ho, he thinks, he’s hot.

And he is, all long golden hair and neat beard and fur lined leather jacket.  He’s shorter than Kili, but more solid.  He looks delicious, in the best way.

Stop creeping people out, says Fili in his head, and Kili laughs.

The man stops, frowning a little.”Odd,” he says aloud in a soft tenor voice that makes Kili’s heart thump.

He gives his head a little shake before looking around.  Blue eyes- so blue Kili can make them out from a fair distance - flicker in Kili’s direction.  He doesn’t seem to have a bit of Kili’s secret shyness.  He smiles, slow and inviting.

Never mind, I’ve found a pretty one, too, Fili says in Kili’s mind.

Kili nearly chokes on his own spit.  

The blond man turns and walks closer, more than a hint of swagger in his steps. 

“Hey,” he says smoothly.

-----

Kili feels his jaw drop.  His heart is racing.  He can hear it in his ears.  He bungee jumped once, Fili refusing to have anything to do with it.  It felt like this, like ziplines and roller coasters that flip you upside down.

He clicks his jaw shut.  

“Ah...hey,” he says back, intelligently.

---

Fili feels a flash of concern, and steps closer.  “You okay?”  He puts his hands up.  “Promise I’m not a serial killer after tourists.  I’m honestly just flirting.”

---

“I’m not a tourist!”  It’s not what Kili means to say, because he knows, in his bones, who this guy is.  He wonders why he never really thought about what Fili must look like.  He’d have thought taller, but everything else…

Yum.

“I’ve been here a year!”

----

“Oh, pardon.”  Fili grins and bows like an old-fashioned gentleman.  “Practically a local, then.  Does that mean you’re familiar with the Ri Family Teashop?”

Fili is forward, but not usually this forward.  But somehow, he wants to know this person.

Or already knows him.

Something.

----

Kili starts to grin.  “Are you asking me to tea?” he asks, because oh, good, Fili knows him too.

“Hmm.  I don’t know.  My mother said never to have tea with strangers.”  Fili holds a hand.  “Fili Durin, local peacekeeper and not an axe murderer, and you are?”

----

The cutie is staring at him, and the stare is starting to look singularly unimpressed.  “You know who I am, Fili.”

“Ah, afraid not,” Fili answers, but there’s a tug in his belly like he’s lying to his uncle Thorin about why he was out so late as a teenager.  “But I very much hope to.”

The definitely a nine sighs and puts his hands on his hips.  “I honestly thought you were smarter than this.  But you can’t be completely perfect, I guess.”  But he’s smiling, fit to battle the sun, and Fili can’t even work up a sense fo indignation.  “It’s me, Fili.  It’s Kili.”

-----

Fili will deny it until they are old and grey, and Kili will just keep telling the truth anyway.

Fili’s eyes roll back in his head, and he stumbles, and Kili grabs Fili in his strong arms like the hero he is.  It’s not fair to say Fili passes out, maybe fades a bit would be more accurate.

Either way, he regrets it forever because it makes him the damsel who wakens (blinks and sees better, because he wasn’t unconscious or anything that dramatic, correct?) in the arms of a stranger who is no stranger at all.  And dammit, Kili even kisses him awake.

(It’s soft and chaste and sweet and Kili, a press of lips just like his voice, beloved and real and everything Fili ever wanted to be real.)

“Hi,” Kili says again, grinning down at him.  “Welcome back.”

Fili will argue later that he didn’t go anywhere and he would have been fine and etc. etc, but for now, he reaches up from his awkward arching slouch in Kili’s arms and brushes hair from those playful hazel eyes, and tugs him down for their second kiss.

----

Nice!, they think, and the kiss turns into laughter.

[rillils]

💖💞This is the Love SLAP Raid Chain, send this to all of your favorite blogs that you think deserve to hear these encouraging words. In return we ask that those blogs send it to their favorite blogs as well. It's December, everybody deserves to hear a few words of encouragement no matter if you're a small or big account. So let's all fill your dash with positivity these last few weeks of 2020. You are amazing. You matter. You are loved. You deserve to have an amazing month💞💖

dfjkgjdkfgh thank you so much, honey x3

[xxsparksxx]

ofahattersmind replied to your post: .

I know what you mean. I feel the same way about artwork. I try to be optimistic thinking maybe they’ve added it to their queue or their drafts, but you’re right. It’s hard to keep that desire to make more when it’s not being shared.

Yeah, exactly. I do wonder if it’s a trend in how people are using tumblr - liking rather than reblogging. I’ve talked before about how, as a content creator, what you’re after is as wide an audience as possible, and that only happens when people reblog. It’s just...definitely getting worse and worse. I compare a year or two ago to now, and it’s just utterly disheartening.

[lakritzwolf]

Autumn Leaves

Inspired by this beautiful piece of art: My Durin’s Day gift for @ofahattersmind​​, I hope you like it! 

Please give the original some love!

Read it on AO3

Wood was stacked high in the lower caves, and the last of the apples were now stored in crates of straw in cool, dark places, next to crates filled with sand to store carrots and other roots. Onions and garlic hung in long braids from the ceiling of the larders, next to rows of smoked sausages and bundles of dried herbs. Salted pork stood in barrels waiting for hungry mouths to feed, and preserves, sweet fruit and tart pickles, in sealed earthenware jars, were arranged on the shelves.

Autumn was now almost over, but hunting had been good, and the harvest had been bountiful. The winter held no fears.

It wasn’t a life that Dis, daughter of Thrain, had been able to imagine, born into the royalty of Erebor, but she had been hardly more than a pebble herself when the mountain had fallen. She barely remembered grandeur and riches, and those memories held no meaning to her. These were her riches now. Arms akimbo, she surveyed the larder filled to the rafters that would see her family safe through winter and spring. And with a nod to herself, she closed the door behind her. There was a deep satisfaction in watching the fruits of your labour.

“Amad!”

Dis turned around, and smiled at her firstborn coming around the corner, golden hair all over the place, smudges of dirt on his cheeks.

“Where have you been, givashel?” she asked with a soft laugh. “Have you been helping the miners gather coal?”

Fili shook his head, curls flying. “Ori and I have been to the smokehouse! They had a whole boar there, and it was huge! We helped stack the kiln! And it smelled so good!”

“Aye, there’s a lot of good eating in such a boar,” Dis replied, and smoothed his curls back. “And imagine, the dwarves of the Iron Mountains breed those beasts, for riding into battle.”

Fili’s eyes went so huge that you might have been able to see his eyelashes had you stood behind him. “I have to see that!” He tugged at his mother’s sleeve. “Can we go there, Amad? Can I ride a boar too?”

“We shall see,” Dis said with a chuckle. “It is a very long way to the Iron Mountains. For now, we stay at home in the safety of our own mountains.”

“Pleeeeaasseee?”

“Fili!” Dis had to laugh, but it was a soft, fond laugh, not a mocking one. “Winter is upon us. You don’t want to be crossing two ranges of mountains now and walk for weeks through dead forests and cold plains in between.”

Fili frowned up at her, then he slowly shook his head. He followed his mother upstairs to their hearth chamber, and forgot travel plans when his eyes fell on the toy warriors he had left there earlier in the day. Wild battle screams echoed through the room moments later as Dis packed a bag in the kitchen.

“Givashel!” she called out once she had shouldered her bag. “Would you care for a walk in the woods?”

“Yes!”

“Come on, then! Let’s have an adventure!”

Wooden warriors fell, forgotten the moment they hit the ground.

“Get your coat and mittens then, and I shall see you outside.”

The air was mild for late autumn, and while the sun didn’t have much power anymore, it was as pleasant as you’d like for a day this late in the year. Durin’s Day was fast approaching, and there wouldn’t be many days left where you could go outside just for the pleasure of feeling the wind on your face.

Fili now came running out of the hallway, bundled in boots, coat, and mittens, and Dis offered him her hand. He took it, and merrily skipped along as they made their way towards the path leading into the forest. A few dry leaves drifted in the breeze, landing softly on the ground around them.

The birches on the higher slopes had long since gone to sleep, dry and dead-looking among the evergreen pines, but the oak trees stood still clad in various shades of brown. With the next storm they, too, would have lost the last of their leaves, but for now the light on the forest floor was still dappled by sunshine falling through the thinning canopy.

Leaves had gathered along the edges of the path, piles of brown, yellow, gold, and copper, and Fili let go of his mother’s hand to pick one up to admire it. He took the next one, and another one, and then a whole handful that he threw into the air.

“I am a storm!” He cast another handful of leaves into the air. “A winter storm! Whheeeeeeeeewww!!”

Dis watched him play with the leaves, a soft smile on her lips. Once Fili was done being a storm she picked a few stray leaves out of his hair, and they continued along the path, Dis walking on the path itself, Fili wading through the drifts of leaves lining the path, delighting in the rustling around his ankles.

“Fili.” Dis whispered then, going into a crouch. “Still as a stone, my love. See?”

Fili stopped dead in his tracks and looked the way his mother pointed. He frowned, tilting his head this way and that until he too could see the squirrel busily rummaging around in the fallen leaves. He watched in delight as it found acorn to nibble on. Then it tensed, and faster than you could look, it flit up a tree, the acorn firmly between its teeth.

Smiling brightly with shining eyes, Fili followed the squirrel with his eyes until it vanished out of sight. After being sure it was gone, they continued, Dis on the path, Fili wading through the piles of dry leaves, shuffling his feet to make them rustle even louder. At the edges of those piles acorns had accumulated too, and especially their dry and brittle cups made delightful crunching sounds under his boots. Occasionally Fili would pick up a few of those acorns, to see how far or high up he could throw them.

Above, high above the trees, the mournful cries of the last wild geese travelling south rang through the autumn silence. Fili stopped and looked up and listened for a moment.

“They are travelling south,” Dis explained. “They do not have warm caves and full larders, so they spend their winters where it’s warmer and where they can find food.”

“But we do!” Fili grinned and kicked up more leaves. “And I’m happy we have warm caves and a full larder so we don’t have to travel away in autumn!”

“So am I,” Dis replied, and picked another leaf out of her son’s hair.

“Will I get a gift for Durin’s Day?”

“We shall see,” Dis replied, eyes crinkling in mirth.

“Amad!” Fili seemed honestly scandalised. “Everyone gets gifts on Durin’s Day!”

“Then why are you asking?”

“Will I? Will I, Amad?”

“Well, I am sure that Durin’s Day will be delightful for every dwarfling who has been good.”

“I am good!” Fili hurried to her side, making the leaves fly. “Right, Amad? I am good, right?”

“Mostly,” she replied with a crooked smile. “I remember the time when you tried Uncle Thorin’s pipe.”

Fili’s eyes widened in horror. “Never ever ever ever again, Amad!”

“I can’t imagine you would,” Dis said with a wink.

Their path had now reached the edge of the slope, and before them the vast expanse of the valley appeared. Oak and pine were replaced by the mighty beech trees further down into the valley, which stood still in glorious gold and copper.

“What is beyond the mountains, Amad?” Fili asked and pointed north and east, across the expanse of the valley.

“Up north, past the hills, is the land of the Shirefolk,” Dis explained. “They are a gentle people, and live off their land, which is green and fertile. I have been there once, but it has been a few years.”

“Are they nice?” Fili stood on tip-toe, as if that might enable him to see past the northern hills.

“Reserved,” his mother replied. “But also very hospitable. If you are their guest, they will be the most generous hosts ever, and you want for nothing while under their roofs.”

“They sound nice,” Fili said and went into a crouch, foreign lands forgotten because he had found a shiny beetle.

“It is a peaceful place,” Dis replied, still looking north. “But, you know, they never wear shoes.”

Fili looked up at her, squinting against the sun behind her, with the facial expression of someone who knows he’s being taken for a ride.

“I swear it’s true!” Dis laughed and shook her head. “I couldn’t believe it myself before I saw it. Maybe one day, you will see it with your own eyes. Their feet are covered in hair so they do not freeze.”

Fili decided that jokes on that level weren’t worth his time when there was a beetle the size of a cherry, and he took a small twig to nudge it towards a fallen log. The beetle however was disinclined to be prodded to go anywhere he didn’t plan to go, and soon, Fili gave up again and got back onto his feet.

The path now followed the slope for a while, with a view over the valley to their left, and the forest to their right, mighty oaks, and tall, green pines here and there with their beautiful brown and orange, patchy bark, and birches that had gone dormant a while ago, their trunks white as if wrapped in sheets of mourning.

“Amad, look!”

Fili left the path and hurried across a small clearing, past a fallen log, to admire the bright red fly agaric that had caught his attention. The wide hat dotted with white spots captured Fili’s attention.

“Can you eat it?”

“No, givashel. It is pretty, but not good for eating. It won’t kill you, but it will make you sick.”

“But it’s so pretty!”

“So are nightshade berries, and you remember what I told you about them?”

Fili looked up at her and nodded solemnly. “They are dangerous!”

“Yes, they are. But if we want to look for mushrooms, we should have brought a basket. They would only get squashed in my bag.”

“Can we come back tomorrow?”

“We can,” Dis said and looked around. “And if you want the best mushroom, look for a king’s stone.”

“A stone?” Fili squinted up at her.

“That’s the name of the mushroom. It is large, and has a brown, velvety hat, yellow and spongy on the underside. It is the best mushroom, hence the name.” Dis looked around. “You can find it in these forests, they like oak and pine. Sometimes you also find a mushroom under birches, with a hat the colour of rust, and the stem that looks like a birch tree, white with grey spots.”

Fili looked eagerly around, but so far, the only mushrooms were fly agarics, and a few small brown ones peeking out of the fallen leaves here and there.

“Fili, look!”

Not far from the fallen log, on the other side of the clearing, the ground looked as if it had been ploughed and then watered before being trampled and ploughed again.

“Boars have been there to bathe in the mud. If you want to hunt boar, find a place like this.”

Biting his lower lip Fili nodded, then looked up at his mother. “When will I be old enough to hunt boar?”

“That will be a few years yet,” Dis replied. “Boars are dangerous game. You need to grow, and grow stronger.”

“Next year?”

Dis chuckled softly and sat down on the log, then patted the spot next to her. Fili sat down, his feet not even touching the ground.

“You won’t be hunting boar before you are declared battle ready, givashel. You saw today at the smokehouse how big they are. And especially the males are vicious, and have huge, sharp canines that can kill a grown warrior if he is not careful.”

Fili looked up at her with a frown.

“We can go out tomorrow again, if the weather permits it. Then we can take a basket for mushrooms, and we can look for tracks, so I can teach you more.”

His face lighting up, Fili nodded. “Yes! Yes, Amad, please!”

“Good.” Dis took her bag, and opened the flap. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes!”

“Why am I asking,” she said with a soft laugh. “You are always hungry.”

She handed Fili a small, smoked sausage and a chunk of bread, then took the same for herself. They ate for a while in companionable silence while around them, leaves drifted towards the forest floor in the mild breeze. The high-pitched shriek of a jaybird made Fili pause, and they watched the tan-coloured bird fly across the clearing, the blue stripes of his wings shining in the sun.

Then Dis produced an apple from her bag, and took the small knife from her belt to cut it in half. She fed Fili a few apple slices and had one for herself before she threw the pieces of the core away.

“Fili,” she began, and slipped the knife back into the sheath. “There is something very important I have to tell you.”

Fili looked up at her, eyes going wide. Dis smiled at her firstborn, and ran her fingers through his hair to smooth it back, and tucked a stray strand behind his ear.

“It is something happy, never fear.” She took Fili’s hand. “Before the next autumn falls, Fili, you shall be a big brother.”

Fili’s face scrunched up in confusion, and he tilted his head.

“I will have another baby,” Dis explained, smile widening. “It is growing inside me, under my heart, where you grew as well. And with the next harvest, we shall have another baby in our family.”

He obviously needed a moment to process that information, but then his face lit up so brightly that his smile could have rivalled the sun. “I will have a brother!”

“We don’t know that yet, givashel,” Dis replied gently. “We will first know it when the baby is born, if you have a brother or a sister.”

“But it’s going to be a brother!” Fili replied. “I know it!”

“We shall see,” Dis chuckled. “We shall see.”

“Will you be as big and waddle-y as Gida was?” Fili stared at her abdomen as if he expected it to pop out any moment.

“I guess,” Dis said with a smile. “I was very big and waddle-y just before you were born. Adad had to help me with my boots all the time.”

“I will help you with your boots too!” Fili replied eagerly. “I promise!”

“That’s very sweet of you, givashel,” she replied. “I might need the help. But you also have to know, when that baby is here, I will need a lot of time for the new baby. Not at first, because it will sleep a lot. But later, we all have to help the new baby grow and learn, and that is a lot of work.”

“I will help!” Fili jumped up from the log. “I will teach my brother everything I know! Everything!”

Dis laughed softly and opened her arms, and Fili climbed into her lap, snuggling against her when she closed her arms around him. She pressed a kiss into his hair and nuzzled his temple.

“I will have you know, that just because I have another baby, I do not love you any less. You know, the more children a mother has, the more love she has, so none of her children ever have to go with less.” She kissed his temple. “I need you to understand that, as I might not be able to play with you, or walk with you, because I need to take care of the baby.”

Fili nodded and snuggled closer. “I will help you take care of the baby,” he said firmly. “And then we can all play and take walks together!”

“That sounds wonderful, givashel.” Dis nudged his forehead with hers.

They stayed for a while longer, but the sun was already hanging low, and the days were short. That night, when Dis tucked him in, Fili sat up again and looked at her in childish gravity.

“I am going to be the best big brother ever!”

“I don’t doubt that, givashel,” Dis gave back with a smile.

“I will always watch over him, and help him! We will always belong together!” Then he eyed Dis’ belly. “Do you hear, little brother? I will always watch over you!”

Dis looked at him, her eyes warm with love, and dropped a kiss onto his forehead. Fili fell back again and curled up in the blanket Dis tucked around him.

“Good night, Fili.”

“Good night, Amad. Good night, little brother. I can’t wait to go on an adventure with you.”

After kissing his temple Dis got up, but stopped once she had reached the door. She rested her hand on her belly for a moment before she closed the door with a soft and tender smile.

[ladycavil]

5 Facts Challenge

The beautiful and marvelous @itsreallylaterightnow slapped me with the five-facts-challenge gauntlet, so here we go.

1. This is all @ofahattersmind 's fault, but I don't know if I ever properly blamed her for it. I've been writing for 16ish years now, and it wasn't until she encouraged me to post my one and only Jane and the Dragon fic that I started putting my work out there. I'm still not that confident, but the only reason I'm out here posting fics is because of her. I have grown so much because of her and the wonderful people I've encountered on the internet. So thanks, Ruth.

2. I have 5 siblings. One is a half-sibling, but I can’t really say I have 4 1/2 siblings, can I? It just sounds weird. 

3. On the topic of 5s, I have 5 cats. They are Athena (4-year-old female), Merlin (4-year-old male), Ash (4-year-old female), Monet (8-year-old male), and Tiernan (1.5-year-old female). I joke that I really have 6 because my mom’s cat (the majestic 4-year-old female Anna Sophia) sleeps in my room and I scoop all of the poop, so she might as well be mine.

4. I love coffee. My first job was as a barista at a local coffee place. It made my soul happy. Side note: that job was magical fuel for my fanfic writing. Maybe it was all the wonderful coffee goodness in the air. Maybe it wasn’t. I wrote a crap ton of Hide and Seek and a few of my other Musketeers stories while working there.

5. I love history. I get overly excited about it. One of my go-to Netflix shows is “Secrets of Great British Castles” hosted/narrated by Dan Jones. It’s excellent if you’re into history, castles, and whatnot. 

Coming up with 5 facts about myself should not be as hard as it was. I tag @ofahattersmind , @snowglory , @mistergandalf , and @iheardyoubrokeawindow

[averil-of-fairlea]

Hi! I was wondering what your header image is of 😊

Hi @oneweirdbean ! First of all, sorry for taking FOREVER to answer!! Second, the header is beautiful art I commissioned from my dear friend @ofahattersmind (Ruth Cavil) called “Thorin’s Family,” based on my head/heart canon that Thorin survived the Battle of Five Armies, married (Averil of Fairlea, of course) and had a lil army of his own 😊

[ofahattersmind]

We are so close to meeting our little buddy! Only 8 more weeks (fingers crossed 😅)

[gatheringfiki]

The following artwork was created by @ofahattersmind .

[averil-of-fairlea]

He was the inspiration for one of Thorin’s sons in a fanart commission completed for me by the talented @ofahattersmind (bottom, second from left). Rest In Peace.

Gaspard Ulliel

1984-2022 💔

Such a tragedy and devastating news, one of the best French actors of his generation 🤍

One of his posthumous roles will be in Moon Knight with Oscar Isaac 😔

[xxsparksxx]

baronmpontmercy replied to your post: ofahattersmind replied to your post: ...

as an artist myself, I feel this very deeply.

Right? And I mean, ‘all’ I’m doing is messing around having fun on photoshop, but even so. It’s time and effort still.

Everybody’s all about the gifset now. Which is fine. But like I said, if you like something enough to hit ‘like’, ‘reblog’ isn’t that much more effort :S

[rillils]

I was tagged by @goldenlionprince :3 Thank you, Lina! <3

Rules: tag nine mutuals you want to get to know better!

@aiidanturner @damnitfili @vickysnest @nelioe @czpla @littleravenkili @ofahattersmind 

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: very much taken, and by the most beautiful girl in the world at that, the precious light of my life <3

FAVOURITE COLOUR: blue, pretty much every shade of it, and greens and pinks too

LIPSTICK OR CHAPSTICK?: chapstick, I guess - it’s what I usually wear, anyway (also, I like to try and guess what fruity chapstick flavour Nat’s wearing by stealing extremely stealthy smooches) (haven’t guessed a single one right so far)

LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: That’s what I like by Bruno Mars

LAST MOVIE I WATCHED: “Amore a prima vista” (lit. “Love at first sight”), a favourite from my childhood - womanizer mob boss wakes up after eye surgery to find himself desperately in love with a male cop. Have I just always been into gay stuff or is it just my imagination

TOP THREE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: Kili, Fili, Victor friggin’ Nikiforov, John Mitchell, and my 100% angsty son Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch and what do you mean they’re more than three, I don’t understand

TOP THREE SHIPS: Fili/Kili, Baz/Simon, Victor/Yuuri (why am I supposed to list only three hkjhfghl I’ve got so many babiessss *intense flailing*)

BOOKS I’M CURRENTLY READING:

“Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda” by Becky Albertalli - OMG GUYS YOU GOTTA READ THIS, IT’S SO FREAKING GOOD I JSUT !!!! KDFJH

“The Four Swans” - aka the sixth book in the Poldark series, and I’m reading like one chapter per month because. Well. Obvious pain?? I’m not entirely sure I’ll manage to finish this one tbh *twirls self into oblivion*

“That certain something” by Clare Ashton - so gay and cute and omg just give me all the girls feels *screeches softly*

“Reaper Man” by Terry Pratchett - haven’t really started this one yet, but it’s next in line right after “Simon...” and I can’t wait :3

and then I’m probably gonna reread Carry On for the 10928394867th time because I just can’t with these gay babies, okay, I am WEAK

[circuschickadee]

@queenmabscherzo tagged me in a thing! ...That I didn’t do for like a month, as per usual. Sorry Mab!

I’m tagging @oddly-ducky, @ofahattersmind, and @kivrinengle, if you guys feel like doing the thing as well.

Also, lemmy tell ya how much effort went in to writing this neatly and not having it be filled with dyslexic scribbles and cross-outs...

[ladycavil]

@ofahattersmind I'm calling you out! 🤣

at any given moment I am probably thinking about Oded Fehr in The Mummy movies