#Also ignore what the FUCK I was doing when drawing Phil I did not do him justice here 💀

[kev-smell-my-fart]

Redraw of the one comic that I never posted cuz it looks actual doo doo feces 😭😭 at least it was good practice methinks??

[soupzardous]

i would love a detalied lore drop on are they smarter than a first grader :3 i genuinely adore all these characters youve written i would gladly take any brain vomit like just screenshots of you and ur friend brainrotting i would eat it alllll up!! just anything honestly

I’m not even gonna lie I did not deliver at all. But what I will give you is that I know for sure that Quackity had like been super anxious for the sleep over. As usual Wilbur was late. Literally not shocking. But basically I hadnot planned much for that chapter I had lots of ideas tho. I did want to have them maybe build a pillow fort in Slimes room cuz I thought that would be silly and also cuz Quackity would’ve lost his marbles. I also think I intended on writing a moment that chapter where Quackity wants to read Fundy and Slime a bed time story since it was routine but Fundy doesn’t know how to react and Slime shoos Quackity away because Fundy can just read to him. Quackity would’ve gone back to the living room grumbling and prob would’ve poured himself a glass of wine cuz he can’t handle not being in charge of things.

Since him and Wilbur were fighting before hand (from what I remember) I wanted it to be sort of tense and awkward. I know in the previous chapter, Slime had green marker on his face and that was how i planned on getting them to start talking. Wilbur would’ve also been drinking wine and all that jazz. However, the plan was for Wilbur to suggest to Quackity that he get Slime some tattoo markers so Slime can draw on himself without it becoming a problem, and that was gonna lead into them being fucking weird or whatever. I really hardcore believed that atstafg!Quackity had a trampstamp (there is concept art and everything). Anyways, back then i did actually write out all the dialogue as kind of a bare bones draft, so I’ll just insert that screen shot here:

Then they probably were freaks and kissed. And this time no one interrupted them for realzies.

The next morning was gonna go one of two ways.

1. Quackity was gonna wake up and realize it was almost 8:30 am (he usually woke up around 5) an get worried that the kids hadn’t eaten. In this scenario he didn’t even remember the whole thing with Wilbur because he is more worried abt the kids. He would’ve winded up walking into the living area and seeing that Wilbur was in his bath robe due to being the one who’d woken Wilbur up, and Wilbur had to find something to put on because he wanted to let Quackity keep sleeping (he knew Quackity was sleep deprived)

2. They would’ve woken up at the same time and kind of opted to ignore what had happened. Wilbur wouldn’t have been able to find his glasses and he probably would’ve said something along the lines of “Well it isn’t my fault you probably recklessly put them somewhere. If they’re broken you’re paying for it.” And they would’ve bickered before Wilbur rolled his eyes and said he didn’t need them that bad and they would’ve headed into the kitchen.

Either way, they would’ve wound up finding Slime and Fundy at the kitchen table with some books that him and Fundy were reading together. Once again, I had this vaguely written in old dms i sent so I’ll just insert those here

I did initially want Quackity to do that thing he does where he was more focused on being a parent than how he was feeling, so he was gonna be too busy with trying to schedule Slime an optometrist appointment to worry about whatever happened with Wilbur. However, Wilbur is not trying to leave in a rush cause he would rather be uncomfortable around Quackity while Fundy had fun than back at his apartment with Phil there. Eventually, when Quackity gets off the phone Wilbur finally asks why Quackity isn’t bringing up what happened, and Quackity woudlve been all like “because I have a life to live I can’t just pause everytime there is a minor accident. You just have to keep doing what you have to do, so sorry if I don’t wanna get into all that” and Wilbur would’ve been offended but not willing to walk away. He does wind up giving up the fight and saying he was gonna stay a little bit longer but just because Fundy was having a fun time. he probably says something about how he’s only staying because he’s not as bad of a parent as Quackity thinks. because truly, they never get past that.

By the way Quackity does blame himself heavily for not even thinking that Slime might have really bad eye sight and just trying to force slime to read when he couldn’t see very well to be begin with. I know a lot of people did theorize that he had dyslexia or was truly just never taught to read, but it was more so due to a lack of proper caregivers in his infant and toddler years and shockingly bad eyesight for being a six year old.

Quackity tries to get Wilbur to go home by telling Slime his friend was gonna have to go home so that he could take Slime to the eye doctor, but Slime tells Quackity “you can’t take me to an eye doctor. Your eyes are healthy. Can Fundy’s dad go instead his eyes aren’t healthy so he would be better” (thats really ooc forgive me please). Anyways, Quackity is a sucker for anything Slime wants especially since his feels really guilty in the moment. So he does say yes.

I have a much more detailed version of the whole glasses debacle, if you want that, but tbh I do not expect this post to be something anyone is actively waiting for anymore. Once again my bad for waiting so long. There were a lot of little things I hc abt Wilbur and his childhood that related to glasses that would’ve served as a bonding type of moment nd i believe i have all of that written down somewhere in my discord dms.

Anyways. I am kind of struggling to remember it all, but I did plan on Quackity and Wilbur trying to keep things professional for a chapter after that, as they were nearing the class Christmas party i believe. Maybe I don’t remember my own fics current time line but it’s fine it’s so chill. But basically when they do set up and help run the class Christmas party since they are co room moms. One of the activities is making a little handmade ornament. It’s meant to be like a gift the kids make to bring home to their parents. However, during the party Slime winds up giving his to Wilbur instead of Quackity. Quackity is not happy about this to say the least, especially since him and wilbur aren’t on the best of terms. Quackity expected Wilbur to shove it in Quackitys face and brag about winning, but instead he just awkwardly tried to give it to Quackity because he felt really bad about the fact that it happened. Quackity refuses to accept it and just kind of keeps to himself the whole time.

When the class party ends, Nikki thanks the two for how much they did and for collaborating. She mentions that Slime had been talking about how Wilbur and Quackity had a sleepover with him and Fundy all week in their morning circle, and to top it off, there had even been a day or two where Fundy talked during the morning circle too. As Quackity and Wilbur leave the school, Wilbur attempts to check in on Quackity. usually Quackity was more vocal of what was bothering him.

When he asks what’s wrong Quackity just kinda quietly says something about how it isn’t fair that Slime likes Wilbur more than him.

Wilbur goes “thats not true. he hardly knows me”

And Quackity just says that he wouldn’t get it. And it is heavily related to the fact that Quackity has tried super hard to avoid letting anyone into his life because he didn’t wanna bring someone into Slimes life that would stick around for a while but inevitably leave. After a bit of back and forth Wilbur probably mentions something like “I dont get it. You act like I’m going anywhere. You act like you aren’t incredibly aware that I can’t leave if I want to. If either of us are the type to run away, it’s you, Quackity. You always say it’s what’s best for Slime, but I don’t know if theres a single selfless reason why you act the way you do. I know I’m selfish, but I never asked to be in this situation. And I’m not saying you did. But for someone who always looks so miserable, you sure have no problem pushing me away. I may not have been the best friend you could have, but it’s not like you have any others. Our kids are friends, and I wont let this be the reason they can’t hang out anymore. But you have a lot of nerve pretending we don’t know too much about each other. I thought we would’ve worked out just fine together. I liked you, Quackity. And maybe I’m just an idiot, but feel like you might have liked me too”

Quackity tells him he doesn’t get it, and Wilbur decides to count his losses and drive home.

The next chapter I planned on having Wilbur being up late at night. School has gone on break and it is Christmas Eve now. For the first time in years Wilbur had actually put out a small decorative tree. He wasn’t sure why, neither him nor fundy were very enthusiastic about holidays. Fundy was in bed and Phil was sleeping too. He winds up getting out some craft supplies that he had left over from a while back, and makes his own version of a shitty ornament. In all honesty it isn’t that much better than the one Slime had made. He puts it in a bag along with a cheap botttle of wine he bought the day before. A part of him wanted to write “to replace the last of the things I took from you” on the card, but he settled on writing “merry Christmas, hope you like it” despite how much he wanted to say. The next morning after Fundy opens his gifts, he asks if Fundy wants to go have a play date with Slime, and Fundy says yes because he wants to tell Slime about the cool books he got.

The goal was for Wilbur to give Quackity the gift and for Quackity to attempt to act indifferent/frustrated but eventually crumble cuz he was really upset with himself. I did at the time plan on just figuring out this part when i got there, however it was gonna be kinda mushy with like them finally talking about it. I prob would’ve done some fuckass mistletoe cliche or something. I also thought it would’ve been funny to have Slime and Fundy see it and try and turn their Christmas Chinese takeout dinner into a surprise date to set their parents up. I don’t really know.

It is a little funny cuz i actually really dont like Christmas but it was going to become a Christmas fic due to pacing.

The epilogue would’ve been a fast forward to Wilbur and Quackity roughly 8 months later being fluffy and silly while coparenting and getting both Slime and Fundy ready for school. I wasn’t sure whether they’d be living together or not at that point, but either way it wasn’t like they wouldn’t have sleep overs pretty often. I thought it would be kinda silly if like Wilbur was helping get the kids ready so Quackity could get an extra hour of sleep since Wilbur usually was working until after Quackity had already picked up the kids from school. There would be some days where Quackity packed the kids lunches and some where they got to buy it at school. Some days Quackity would worry about what the kids were gonna wear and others Wilbur just let them pick whatever they wanted. Essentially just illustrating the balance that would be achieved after they got together with both families benefiting from the best of both worlds. Wilbur would’ve learned to be a more involved and responsible parent and Quackity would’ve learned to not micro manage every little thing that happened. And from that point on they both became co room moms until Fundy and Slime got sick of their parents wanting to be involved with every school function

I have more things i saved in case y’all want anymore!! So just let me know and i will actually get back to you in a timely manner I promise this time !!! Hope this all made sense it has been so long since I talked abt atstafg

[bistaxx]

An annoyance I specifically have about qsmp tntduo fics is that they don’t even (usually) try to be like the qsmp versions of the characters. They have them act like dsmp, rivals that have a weird homoerotic tension. While in the qsmp, we’ve had Quackity being obsessed with Wilbur and Tallulah < and being convinced that Wilbur was the dad and tallulah was his kid. This is just the early stuff but it’s annoying how they pretend it’s qsmp when it’s clearly not.

(TNT MUTUALS SKIP THIS POST- SORRY ILY I PROMMY SRY! THIS ENDED UP TURNING INTO A RANT LMAO)

(Also none of this is my griping over what people are allowed to write or draw lol- i'm just bitching for my own sake LOL)

Yeah that's definitely a major part of my annoyance too, not helped by the fact that I also dislike /r c!tnt LOL- And I was actually interested in what q!Tnt as dynamic could've been but canon doesn't offer a whole lot to work with these days and fanon like you said either just makes them a poor man's rehash of c!tnt despite their q! counterparts being VERY different form those men or, like a mutual of mine brought up in their post, reduce q!Quack into this poor sad little wet cloth of a man that ONLY qWilbur could ever understand or fix because he's the ONLY man who actually cares about q!Quackity... just ignore Roier, and Etoiles, and Forever, and Baghera, and Cellbit, and Bagi, and- You get the point lol.

I think my last straw personally was seeing everything that Quack goes through be made to be about Wil- getting Tilin? Him and Wilbur can raise them together despite us knowing Luzu was the other parent! He loses his child? Dw he can raise Tallulah with Wilbur! Quackity's been kidnapped and replaced with Elq? Oh no! Onyl Wilbur will ever care or notice :( Just ignore that Jaiden witnessed this happen- Quackity is back, but his memories are gone and his mind severely messed with? Oh Wilbur will fix him- he'll teach him how to read and write and take care of him and they can be a family alongside Phil Tallulah and Chay! Quackity's been kidnapped again? Oh no only Wilbur will care Part 2 even though everyone quickly noticed Elq isn't Q! Quackity (and Phil) have weird tickets? This must be related to WILBUR somehow?! Quackity's DEAD?!? OH NO- WILBUR WILL BE SO SAD AND DEVASTATED! Quackity's back but extremely traumatized and broken after everything he's been though? He needs Wilbur to hug him and heal him :((((((((((((((-

And I wanna take a brief aside to complain about how people treat them and the eggs too- See I really like Quack and Pepito's dynamic, so I give into temptation and look on Twitter to find fanart of them... only to see them paired with Wilbur and Tallulah... with Quackity's OTHER CHILD Richas nowhere in sight! Because he just... doesn't matter I guess even though the two still care about each other a lot and still call each other father and son! Also the god damned disservice this stuff does for Talsy's character too- yeah she'd so be running over to hug Wil with her current growing resentment of him- but to know that'd require people to acknowledge her as more then just Wilbur's cute little daughter who exists only as an extension of him- SOMETHING SHE'S COMPLAINED ABOUT TO PHIL. But back to Quack...

Would you believe me if I told you people also did this shit during KARMALAND too- A SERIES THAT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE WILBUR PLAYING IN IT! That during the early days people were CONVINCED that k!Quackity was secretly an amnesiac c!Quackity and he was only drawn to k!Luzu because he reminds him c!Wilbur... yes people really fucking said that and god it made me so mad I won't lie 😭 People can headcanon whatever they want that's fine even if I don't gel with, the thing is it was just everywhere during the early Karmaland V days and people were doing to most to push it 'canon' cuz God forbid Q exist outside of Wil or c!tntduo in this Spanish server.

Listen- I never wanna be That Guy who DEMANDS people stop doing this or that- people can do whatever they want- I get missing a ship, I still miss Karmaland Luckity- I just wished people cared about q!Quack for q!Quack and not just tntduo. q!Quackity is a very flawed screw-up of a man with a big heart whose been through Hell and even though he wants to give up still chooses to keep on going for the sake of his new child- not to mention his mysterious connection to Elq and being forced to be a pawn to Oscurucho! He has a lot going for him outside of his celebrity crush! He has a lot of really good and complex bonds with other characters- he has a strong friendship with Etoiles, Forever tried to look out for him after Quackity lost his memories and Quackity in turn was visibly distressed when Forever went missing, HIS WHOLE THING WITH ROIER- LIKE- Quackity being a major part of the betrayal at the start of the server and Roier in turn ruining Quackity's reputation on the server in revenge but Quackity still tries to help Cellbit fix things with Roier during Festa Junina, Quackity admires the strength of Spiderbit's love to the point that it makes it reconsider his own view of what love is after his fake wedding with Wilbur's cardboard cutout, Roier still tried to help Quackity regain his memories when Quackity found Tilin's old diary, Roier is listed as one of the most important people to Quackity, during his hell coma in the maze portion there are photos of him and Roier everywhere, they even share custody of a child now- but no, Wilbur is the only one who gets or cares about Quackity, okay sure.

Anyway rant over- sorry anon I pretty much just used your ask as an excuse to vent about all my grievances I'm sorry 😭 People can send more anons about this if they want but I prolly won't answer- I don't like to bitch too much on this blog- this is the exception to that LOL I don't hate qWilbur either- I just don't care for q!tnt.

[whatwouldvalerydo]

💚❤️ Part 2/9 💚❤️

Phil and Scarlett meet in order to discuss her proposal and reach a conclusion.

Phil Baker belongs to the amazing @flareshogwarts

By the time she woke up it was almost noon, Scarlett following her normal morning routine never really caring what time it was when she woke up, being done two hours after that. Getting ready to leave the apartment she rented through AirBnB, she finally checked her phone seeing a few messages, one also being from Phil “I’m at the Central Café, meet me here if you have time.”

“Fuck!” the message had been sent almost three hours prior, no follow up or phone call. And it was not like he did not know she liked to sleep in or nap, especially nap. Dialing his number, he picked up after a few attempts “Where are you?”

“At the café.”

Her eyes widened “Still? It’s been three hours.”

“Has it?” She could hear him fumbling with his phone, laughing slightly “Guess so, I just started sketching some designs and lost track of time.”

Feeling like smacking herself, she refrained from doing so as she just put on her make up “I’ll be there in ten you freak.”

Grabbing a cab she actually took that time to think, trying to wake up fully. Phil never really liked being pressured into things, so if he was asking to meet her then it could go two ways. He was either excited to go to Japan with her and he would say yes or he was actually going to turn her down. She was well aware she was not the best of friends, she could barely keep up with the girls and what they discussed in their group chat or via letters, with the rest it was even harder. Leaning towards no was the more plausible scenario.

She found him inside the café, a coffee for her already ordered, Phil hunched over his sketch book, one he closed immediately when he noticed her “Hiding something are we?”

“No.” he stammered, pulling it to his chest for a few seconds before placing it in his bag. Her brows furrowed as she leaned in, looking at his face “What?”

“Since when do you wear glasses?”

As if just then realizing he had them on, Phil pulled them down and away from his face “I need them for detailed work or sketching. Guess all those years playing games finally did me in.”

Sitting down at the table, she nodded “I knew it would, but they suit you, you look cute with them. So what were you drawing?”

Ignoring her entirely, he fumbled with putting away his glasses and not looking at her.

Taking a sip from her coffee, she rolled her eyes “Fine, be like that. So, do you have an answer for me?” Phil hesitated, Scarlett taking another long sip as she thought it was definitely a no.

“Are we still friends? I mean I like to believe we are, but lately you sort of vanished and that’s not something friends do.”

Sighing, she finally gave up on being distracted by the coffee, taking out her phone, apparently ignoring his question, until his phone chimed with several voice messages “I recorded those but never sent them across. Also have a bunch of pictures I also didn’t send.”

“Why not?” taking out a pair of headphones, she just shrug her shoulders nonchalantly, leaving Phil to draw his own conclusions after listening to them.

In some of them she sounded distant, distracted from what life had to offer her. In others she was apologetic, language slightly slurred so he knew she was tipsy if not drunk, but those were moments when she could be honest without the walls she generally placed around her heart.

But late honesty wasn’t what Phil wanted in that particular moment. Placing the headphones on the table after listening to the messages, he looked at her “So won’t your husband mind you’re leaving with another guy?”

Cocking a perfect brow, Scarlett asked “What husband are you talking about?”

Clearing his throat, he took a sip from his drink prior to asking again “Fiancé?” however with the amounts of rings on her fingers, it was hard to tell, Scarlett’s glare growing more intense “Boyfriend? Girlfriend?”

“Are we really doing this? The part where you pretend I’m seeing someone just so you can find out I’m single and I go about it the same way when I know for certain you’re also single?”

Shifting in his chair, he ran a hand through his hair “How do you know I am?”

Smirking, she just shook her head “Honestly Baker, I wouldn’t have asked if I knew you were seeing someone. I may be a bitch, but I’m no home wrecker.”

Bobbing his head, he added his input to the conversation “Surprised honestly that after two years you’re not seeing someone.”

“I’m not.” She scoffed in her drink “Not like I actively try to be nice and get close to people.”

Looking around the café, Phil fumbled with the sleeve of his shirt, his voice crackling a bit when speaking again “I wrote to you, every week after you left. You didn’t reply back, you just left. No message, no goodbye, nothing.”

“So are you mad?”

“Yes.” He answered exasperated “I am. I thought we were friends, that you could tell me things. But no, apparently I was just some weird nerd you” he paused but still continued, it feeling good to finally get it off his chest “used whenever you needed an escape. And I never wanted to believe it, I thought I knew you. Guess I was wrong.”

Sighing, Scarlett actually looked away from him “You were my friend, if you weren’t I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. I wanted to run, to get as far away as possible from the magical world.” Phil laughed nervously trying to cover up her last statement, hushing her “Oh sod off. Whatever” she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Go on.” He leaned in, drawing his chair closer to hers “Please.”

“Fine, but if you interrupt me again, I’m not telling you shit.” Phil only nodding “You can imagine how the world” Scarlett rolled her eyes “is everywhere, it was like it was haunting me and mom wanted the legal stuff out of the way since I was eighteen and I just didn’t care. I wanted to prove that it didn’t happen, that I could be real, in the Muggle world.” Letting out a bitter chuckle she forced herself to smile “I did it for a year, then curiosity got the best of me. I have the address of my grandmother from my father’s side, had it for a while but I didn’t go. I want to know, but I think it’s like opening Pandora’s box.”

“So she’s in Japan? That’s why you want me to go with you?”

Shaking her head, she leaned closer to him “No, I want you to go with me because after Japan I will do it. But I need something before it, something good, someone who won’t ask questions or judge. So what do you say, yes or no?” he bit down on his bottom lip, chewing on it nervously, Scarlett grabbing him by the jaw, getting a good look at it “What’s up with this glow up of yours?”

“What?” he pulled away confused.

“You were alright before, but it looks like the last years really did something good for you.”

“Is this your idea of a compliment?”

Throwing her head back she laughed “Yes, glow up is a good thing. You didn’t answer me though, stop evading it, if it’s a no, it’s fine.”

Scrunching his nose, he spoke softly “You also didn’t answer me. Are we still friends?”

She nodded “Yes, though I’m shit at it.”

Phil blinked a few times, not taking his eyes off her, but not giving her an answer either. He missed her, that he knew, it was what he had felt since the end of his sixth year when it was the last time they were face to face, saying their goodbyes at the train station in London.

Japan sounded divine, it would be a wish come true and also a chance for them to reconnect. For her to speak about what’s truly troubling her and maybe for him to also tell her what he’s been keeping hidden all those years. But it also meant it could go south fast, that they would have fun like they used to back in school and then she would run off once more.

But if he said no, it could very well be the last time she actually reached out to him. He knew her pride and spite would prevent her from getting closer ever again.

Extending his arms out, he pulled her into a hug, a sigh leaving his chest as he held her close “I’ll take this chance, I’ll go with you to Japan.”

[amazingphilza]

study buddies :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some headcanons if the mcyts were trying to help you do hw :D

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

tommyinnit

i feel like he’s the type to be in a long discord call with you whilst you both try to finish your work

mans uses the screensharing feature like there’s no tomorrow

“y/n watch my stream on discord and help me guess the answers”

“tommy no! i haven’t even taken a film class before”

“your guess is good as mine”

“just cheat and google the answers!!!”

“fuck you”

he actually just wants your attention because he’s bored out of his mind doing homework

five minutes later of asking you to help him guess questions he’s like

“hey y/n”

“what now?”

“let’s play bedwars”

“oh my god shut up!!!”

if tommy has to speedrun something before a deadline, it is a whole different story tho; he will be so focused on completing that he won’t hear what you’re saying

if you’re struggling in math, you’re on your own

“math is shit, only numbers i need is my primes and youtube analytics” says tommy any time you complain about math

besides the fact he isn’t good at solving math problems, you can’t even read his handwriting if he did try showing you how to do a problem

“okay, y/n, it’s simple, just look” he says in his kareninnit voice and everything

you’d be like “is the variable a G or a 9??”

“fuck you that’s a 4!!!”

tubbo

i don’t know if tubbo ever talked about school before but something about him makes me think he’s actually pretty good at math

like he can explain a few things when it comes to math / algebra

CODING GO BRRRR

no geometry or calculus though, anything past algebra will go bad

if tubbo is doing homework with you, he will definitely tune you out

“hey tubbo can you help me on this question?”

you don’t get a response until like 20 minutes later

“oh yeah, what was it y/n?”

like now you answer? i just got the answer myself after so long, forget you smh

“oh nothing tubbo, nevermind!”

but you’re still grumbling in your head because if he answered just a bit earlier you wouldn’t have gone through the work of finding the answer online

i can also imagine if you’re taking chemistry tubbo is like ;

“oh you’re taking chemistry? let’s make some bombs!” /lh

tubbo would definitely pull an all-nighter with you to finish your projects together

if you had a group project, he would make you do the writing part while he does the drawing part

“we definitely aced this project”

“of course we did, if i made you draw we would’ve ended up with stick figure diagrams”

“TUBBO. THE FUCK?”

ranboo

okay i know ranboo said he isn’t a theatre or band kid (unless im wrong and forgetful) but i feel like he’d be somewhat educated in the topics nonetheless

half the time he’s great moral support, helping you stay motivated !

the other half is him making fun of you

“i cant believe you’re failing, that is so sad, can’t be me”

“it’s literally an honors class, ranboo! it’s supposed to be hard!!”

“taking an honors class willingly? also cant be me AHAHA”

i honestly can’t see ranboo going to school like i know he’s a minor and said he had zoom calls before and plays volleyball but like did i miss something? has he dropped out yet? like something about ranboo does not scream “student” /lh

besides that, i’m not sure what subject he would actually be good in,,, but something about nutrition/health sciences,, he knows a few things

don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he actually likes the subject but somehow remembers what he learned from the class

also gives me the type of energy of the type of person to take a first aid class to be a certified person to do cpr on someone just to kill time during his lunch breaks for a while or something

“i am a certified cpr person”

“my life in ranboo’s hands? oh god please no”

you two would probably joke about the ‘bad’ people in your classes or talk shit about your schools than actually doing anything homework related ngl AHAHAH

“you think your school is down bad? mine went back to campus full time after like 6 months into quarantine because they were running out of money”

“what the hell y/n? your school is a scam, drop out”

“arghhhh i knowww”

“i bet i make more money than your teachers combined AHAHAH”

wilbur soot

he doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help for homework but can info dump you on very specific historical events + a bit of geography

i kinda see him as the person you can ask to proof read an essay for you and would help it improve immensely

who needs a thesaurus when you have vocabulary boy wilbur?

i dunno if it’s an american thing only or at all, but if/when you get to studying hamilton in your english class, he will get so fucking excited

“no wilbur it isn’t fun! imagine listening to lin-manuel miranda rap ‘alexander hamilton’ at the white house from like 2009 on repeat for over an hour whilst trying to write an analysis about it!! it was so distracting”

“well clearly someone has a personal problem with mr lin-manuel. if i were you, i’d be singing the whole thing”

is this last bit personal and complete spite from my freshman year english class? yes. i do not care? no. /hj

unrelated but i actually scribbled nice guy ballad lyrics and other songs on my english scratch papers in freshman year but anyway

probably isn’t the best person to be in a call to do homework with but wilbur doesn’t mind you ringing him occasionally sometimes

i dunno i can just see him easily get bored of the silence or something but also doesn’t want to bother you too much

but he is genuinely proud of you whenever you tell him you aced a big test you were studying for :D

philza

this man’s bad advice is as bad as him trying to help you on any subject

he’s an old man so /hj

but like honestly, he hasn’t been at school for so long, phil can probably only help with the most basic things when it comes to school

if you have a wack teacher that makes you collect data through surveying people, phil would be one of the best people to ask! straightforward and won’t take too much of your time compared to other people ahem,,

statistics things ! sobs

if you ever complain a lot about your classes and contemplating dropping out and stuff, he will def scold you hard

“ugh phillllllllll can i just like,, never go to school again?”

“do not drop out”

“argh fine, i won’t just ‘cause philza minecraft said so”

honestly if you get a high score in a big test like your sats/gcse’s (whatever you’re taking from wherever you are) he’d probably order you a small meal or something to celebrate :D

like how phil bought ranboo bought him food to his house, it would start as a joke but when you get your test scores back he’s like “YOOO GOOD JOB Y/N”

expect a left meat pizza coming to your house .

technoblade

like wilbur, techno is also helpful when it comes to history!

def knows a decent bit of literature too

besides that i don’t really see him being that helpful

even if he was supposed to be an english major

he will just get mad at the school system for teaching you useless things

“being in school is good but why do you need to know how to know if something is a triangle or not? i can obviously see with my eyes that it’s a triangle”

“i dunno! ask the person that made up geometry”

“just look at a kaleidoscope and be over with it, it isn’t that hard”

“that isn’t how it works—”

“bruhhh”

if you’re looking for the person to call while doing homework, he is not the person /lh

it’s either like 0 or 100 with techno

he can just completely not say anything and ignore you or go on a full rant about whatever class or homework you have

if you have an essay you need written, it will take a lot of bribing but he might take the opportunity if you are rich

“techno i’ll paypal you $10 please help me”

“no. i can make 10 times that amount in 5 minutes if i just started streaming right now”

“techno i don’t have that kind of money! pleaseee”

“no. instead of complaining, you can use that time to actually start you work”

“you’re the worst”

then you speedrun the essay and get an A just to spite him

[keorami]

So you know when you wanna write a funny situation but you realise that you have to come up with said funny situation? Yeah... I forgot that my sense of humor is atrocious, but at least I tried...? I couldn't focus on one long story so I decided to write several short ones instead! Hope you enjoy!

"I have the feeling you're not enjoying this sleepover very much."

Dream did not, in fact, enjoy this 'sleepover', because not only did it remind him that his only way out of this hell was stuck in here with him, but said way out had been nothing but insufferable since he got here.

"Is this about the bell-"

"You could have gotten us out of here."

Oh yeah, said way out also wasted their one chance at escaping on a fucking bell. Dream hadn't felt such anger in... he doesn't remember actually. He didn't get to feel angry often in here.

"Listen, it was a very important matter-"

He stopped listening at that point. It was the same tirade every time about clout and viewership and whatever that he honestly could care less about. Staring at and counting the cracks in the obsidian seems like a very interesting activity.

"Hey, are you listening?"

1... 2... 3...

"Dude."

4... 5... 6...

"How long are you gonna ignore me?"

7... 8- wait, didn't he count that one already?

"Look at me at least."

No, he doesn't think he will. Because then the bell will be within view, and Dream knows that if he wasn't so pathetically weak, either the bell or Techno would have been thrown into the lava by now. But he is, so he'll throw the next best thing: his body. And fuck whatever the pig might have to say about it.

"Dreeeeeam-"

"WHAT."

He whipped his head so fast his neck hurt a little. He was fully prepared to... well now he doesn't remember, because of all faces he expected Techno to make...

The fuckboy face wasn't one of them.

"Nooo don't be angry, you're so sexy haha."

Oh God, he just died and went to limbo didn't he?

He wasn't sure when exactly he collapsed on the floor, gasping for air in a mix of wheezes and coughing, but Techno was now hovering over him in panic.

"Dream please don't die, I don't want the last thing you ever saw to have been that face-"

Oh, if there was one thing he would make sure not to forget, it would have been that face.

~~~~~

"Man, I'm starving. When do we get food in here again?"

"Um, I don't know really. I guess whenever Sam is in the mood?"

"What."

"Yeah."

Sam hasn't dropped food a single time since he was locked in here. Well, add 'food' to the basic human rights Dream isn't getting. They're really treating this like a bucket list aren't they?

"It's... You'll get used to it."

Dream gives him some potatoes from his inventory, to Techno's absolute delight. At least Sam has great taste, he'll give him that. But...

"...They're raw."

"Well, obviously."

Listen. He loves potatoes. He'd say he loves them to death, if he could die. No matter how you cook them, they turn out delicious. But raw? He'd only eat them raw if it was a life-or-death situation AND he somehow had no source of heat at his disposal, and the likelihood of that situation happening is practically zero. So yeah, he doesn't like to eat them raw.

"And that's all you get?"

"If you can't eat it-"

Ah, those famous words. Now, he's fairly certain that Dream didn't mean it as a challenge, but at this point Techno is just too competitive to see it any other way. Look, you don't get to his level by being passive, okay? So it's perfectly reasonable.

What wasn't reasonable was the taste of this potato because what in the Blood God's name is this.

"What the hell is this."

"...A potato?"

"No, this is a fucking travesty."

And what a sight it was, the Technoblade swearing and ranting about potatoes, of all things. Dream could only last until "mossy cobblestone tastes better than this dry ass, stinky ass garbage" before he lost it. You gotta give him credit for lasting this long at least. Technoblade was too busy ranting to care either way.

~~~~~

This can't be happening.

"Dream."

"What."

He tries to sound neutral, but Techno can hear the snicker in his voice.

"You don't have to do this."

Surely he can reconsider-

"On the contrary, it has to be done."

Dream places a single card on the pile, which happens to be his last one. A Wild Draw 4, to rub salt into the wound. Techno decides that ending on that card should be illegal.

"Remember the deal. No bell for the rest of the day."

"NOOOOOOO!"

Unfortunately, that had been the condition he had to agree to in order to get Dream to play. Because apparently he was "ringing it all the fucking time and it was driving me crazy". There's that, and the threat that Dream would jump in the lava again if he refused. So clearly he had a choice in the matter.

He knew that there was a chance he could lose... but he had deemed it low enough to ignore it. How could he not expect the resident chessmaster of the SMP to utterly trounce him in UNO? He was a fool, and now he has to think about how to make up for the lost clout and money.

At least, judging from the quiet snickers, someone finds his misery funny. He finds consolation in knowing that he may have lost the battle but he won the war. In a way.

~~~~~

"So I almost got mauled to death but that was how I met Steve."

Dream stares at him the way Phil does when he does something particularly outlandish and he fails to see why.

"Can I ask a question."

"Sure."

"Why would the first thing you do upon running into a starving polar bear be hugging it?"

Of course he would question it, because obviously Techno's superior intellect is confusing to the common mind. He just really likes animals, okay? Steve's fur looked so soft and fluffy he just had to touch it, he almost got his face torn off and Phil never let him live that down. But he'll sooner accept governments than let Dream know that. He doesn't want to embarrass himself too much.

"See Dream, I live by a simple philosophy."

"Long live anarchy?"

"No. Well yes, but not just that."

Dramatic silence.

"Any animal is huggable if you aren't a coward."

Dream chokes on his potato, the only one he had eaten today, and Techno worries for a second before he realises that Dream is actually laughing.

"Tech- what-" His body is shaking. "-what is wrong with you??"

"It all started when I was born-"

~~~~~

And it's enough to send Dream rolling on the ground. It wasn't even that funny, but he supposes that prison does a number on you, and Dream's sense of humor was already terrible to begin with.

...Okay, now he had to make sure that the teletubby didn't laugh himself to death.

At the end of the day- at least Techno assumes it's the end of the day, he doesn't know how trustworthy his internal clock is anymore- the two inmates of Pandora's Vault are about ready to fall asleep, but Techno has one last thing to do before that.

"Dream, come here for a minute."

Said man gives him such a wary look that he almost feels insulted.

"...Why?"

"I won't bite, ya know."

"That's... debatable."

Bruh.

"Just get over here."

And Dream complies without any further complaints. Techno hopes he didn't sound too harsh, but his cellmate wasn't shivering uncontrollably, so he thinks he's in the clear.

"What?"

Techno lays his cape down on the very uncomfortable obsidian floor. Seriously, laying down for an hour is enough to make his joints ache. 0/10 would not recommend. How did Dream- right, he doesn't have a choice.

"What are you doing?"

"Making this prison less of a living hell. Come lay down."

"...I'm fine."

Why are you being so difficult, Techno wants to ask, even though he can guess the answer. When was the last time anyone did something remotely nice for him without any catch? Especially in here?

"Stop being difficult and sleep with me already."

Silence.

"...Pft."

"You know what I meant."

In his defense, everyone has their moments, and his usually don't happen that often.

"Stop being so difficult and-"

"Just... get over here. My cape is really soft."

"Is that why you wear it all the time?"

"...Among other things."

But mostly because it was really soft.

Dream still seemed apprehensive about the whole thing, and while usually Techno would have respected his wishes and left him be... the sight of his rival curling up in a corner of the cell, obviously trying to not aggravate his injuries as he did, was saddening even to him. Prime, he's really not good at this... but Dream probably definitely needs it.

So he pulls his roommate into a side hug, which is honestly the best he can manage without ruining his image. It's awkward, Dream is way too stiff, and maybe now would be the time to say something before embarrassment kills either or both of them. Something reassuring, comforting to help Dream relax in his presence for example.

"This is gonna be the best sleepover you've ever had."

...But the day he stops relying on humor for any kind of social interaction is the day it'll either stop working or get him killed.

"...This is so stupid."

And today was not that day.

Dream lets out a laugh, shaky but genuine, and relaxes. Techno sees that as a win. Since he's stuck here for a while, might as well make his favorite teletubby's life in here more bearable.

And it's finally over! It only took me... *looks at calendar* ...time is an illusion. Idk if I'm really happy with this, but on the bright side, it's... done? Now I really wanna continue that endersmile fanfic as I got some ideas, hopefully it won't take as long? God I am a writing disaster

Also if you saw any mistakes... no you didn't :)

[onebillionstarsff]

if you think c!dream deserves torture, you don’t know what torture is

alrighty, it’s time for me to do annoyingly in-depth lore analysis again because i have seen way too many people on my dash and twitter timeline saying that c!dream deserves to be tortured.

i don’t really think people have a comprehensive, reality-based understanding of what torture actually is, what it can do, and the motivations behind it. i, unfortunately, do: i’ve done extensive professional-level study on torture, so i’m going to do my best to put out some knowledge into our little dsmp-related world.

obvious content warnings for references to torture and to violence below the cut (nothing too graphic, though; i know this isn’t an academic forum or government work)

all of this is /rp /dsmp

i’ll also list some sources at the very bottom if you want to learn more

alright then, let’s start: what is torture, anyway?

there are two types of definitions, general and legal. i’ll reference both, but the message they carry is essentially the same, so i’ll just paraphrase the united nations definition that’s party to (read: supported/enforced by) 170 countries:

torture is any act that intentionally causes SEVERE harm to someone, physical OR mental, for the purposes of extracting information or punishment for failure to do so, with explicit consent from an acting public authority.

i’ll break down those components in the context of the dsmp in a second, but i first want to make it very clear what torture ISN’T. torture is not manipulation, it is not "trauma” in the way trauma is broadly conceived, it is not even direct physical abuse. you can suffer abuse from, say, a parent or a partner, and that abuse is about a power dynamic, where one person is being forcibly subordinated to the other. torture, on the other hand, is not necessarily about power, and it’s definitely not ONLY about power dynamics; torture, by its very definition, has to be intensely and officially coercive, and it has to be SEVERE. there are not degrees of torture, like there are degrees of abuse: being deprived of sleep for days or even weeks at a time is just as psychologically impactful as losing a limb or being waterboarded (simulated drowning- a common torture method that the us has been known to employ).

this is my first major issue with the way some viewers of the dsmp approach this whole debacle. i constantly hear c!tommy’s manipulation by c!dream cited as a perfect justification for c!dream’s torture. what c!tommy, and others on the server- particularly the kids- went through is horrible, and intensely traumatic. i will never deny them that, especially as a survivor of abuse myself, but torture is not just another form of trauma. that’s a very important distinction that we, as viewers, have to draw: torture is considerably worse because it is sanctioned, it is coercive, and its explicit goal is not just to cause pain or make someone feel powerless (common goals of abusers), but instead to shatter someone.

in more specific terms, the mental goal of torture is to completely unmake someone’s conception of the world, how they interact with it, and their basic sense of identity. if you read accounts or speak with survivors of torture, it is frequently mentioned that their very way of processing everything in life was destroyed by pain and had to be rebuilt, completely different, after escape. by destroying one’s individuality, will, and their most integral of processing abilities, you destroy their grasp on the world; and, to put it lightly, such a breaking event is awful enough that, in an effort to make it stop and regain some sense of normalcy, the victim will tell their persecutors what they want to hear. it’s the reason why confessions obtained through torture are notoriously not admissible in courts of law. this goes far beyond abuse or manipulation, and i need everyone to understand that.

now, let’s get to c!dream’s situation. did he do awful things? yes, undoubtedly. i’m a c!dream apologist, but his manipulation of c!tommy and c!tubbo was very fucked up. beyond that, his notable “crimes” that others on the server aren’t also guilty of committing (e.g., murder, theft, arson, to name a few common ones) really just consist of especially massive destruction of property (people leave c!techno and c!phil out of this equation, much to my chagrin, but i won’t get into it here). punishment for his actions is understandable, and is typically what justice systems aim to do. but, even if we completely ignore the inherent inhumanity of pandora (HOOO BOY that’s a lot to ignore but i digress), c!dream is not being punished, he’s being tortured. 

going by the definition i used, let’s break it down:

c!sam knows what c!quackity is doing to c!dream, allows it, and even encourages it. as the warden, he is the person in an official, authority position giving their consent. 

c!quackity is, by his own admission, doing what he is to get information out of c!dream. it’s not a confession in this context, but very specific piece of knowledge, with the promise of death also hanging right above it.

list of extreme psychological abuse: long-term solitary confinement (torture if it’s more than 22 hours. c!dream has been in solitary confinement for more than 60 days now), deprivation of the passage of time, general verbal abuse, incredibly limited social contact (people start to fray without basic interaction after a while).

list of extreme physical abuse (god where do i start): prolonged starvation, malnourishment when he isn’t being starved (you will die without protein intake); use of Warden’s Will Breaker pickaxe (it can hack through obsidian, so i think that’s all i need to say), shears (can be used to do things like pull nails, break limb’s bones, amputate toes/fingers/a whole arm in c!ponk’s case), and an OP axe (a sharp blade capable of slicing easily through wood with brute force, and bone is significantly easier to crush than wood). 

so, we have consent of authority, coercion for the sake of extracting information, and severe physical/mental abuse meant solely to cause extreme pain. c!dream is being tortured according to the proper, internationally-sanctioned definition of the term, and that is not okay in any circumstances whatsoever. 

if you haven’t ever read survivors’ accounts (or the accounts of their victimizers), it’s difficult to understand just how uniquely despicable torture is, and the lifelong effects that remain after it’s over and done with. i honestly recommend you read some testimonials, because it absolutely changes the way you view authority and the world in general.

no one is deserving of this treatment, no matter what atrocities they may or may not have committed. 

it’s a basic tenet of human rights, and i don’t think it should be a hard pill to swallow that it’s never excusable in any circumstance. so, defend c!tommy & co. and criticize c!dream’s actions all you want, but please never say that torture is alright. that statement has real consequences, and real moral implications. don’t be an asshole, and don’t be disrespectful to people who have survived it.

if you’re curious, look into these events:

The Argentine Dirty War

Chicago Police’s Jon Burge and his torture regime

Abu Ghraib prison

Extensive torture by Pinochet’s regime in Chile

Guatemalan Civil War

Ugandan policing in the 21st century (Human Rights Watch report here)

if you want some reading, i recommend the following. tumblr will probably nerf this post because of links, but oh well.

Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment

Elaine Scarry’s The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World (very important work in the literature on torture) 

John Conroy’s Unspeakable Acts, Ordinary People: The Dynamics of Torture

Levenson (e.d.) Torture: A Collection

[strawberrylemonz]

Tonight’s Showing

Part 1 [CURRENT]

Part 2

DT: @bargledblocks my beloved <3 and @snapdragonfirefly my beloved <3

------------The screaming and yelling tore into his mind, filling him with pain. The screams, Tommy’s screams, called out to him, begging for him to save him. He didn’t want to leave the boy there, he never even dreamed of such a thing! That stupid security issue that occured a week ago had started all this, and Sam hated every bit of it. He didn’t know what to do in the situation. What was there to do? 

“SAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!”

His eyes widened at the tone of Tommy’s voice coming through to him from the communicator. Tommy sounded terrified. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t wait any longer. Rushing through the halls towards the main cell, Sam was fully prepared to get Tommy out of there. Fueled by the screams, he stumbled into the room, flipping the switch to undo the lava. His fear and adrenaline only grew the moment the screams fell silent. Why was Tommy silent? Before he could even see the lava fall, however, a bright light momentarily blinded him. Upon regaining his sight and senses, he was quick to draw his weapon, only to realize he had no weapons or armor on him. The only thing he had were his everyday clothes.

“Why am I here? Where is here?”

He quickly turned around to see that he was not alone in this confusing predicament. Everyone from the server was appearing into the strange room, all panicked and confused. Ranboo quickly rushed to check on Tubbo, who appeared to be digging around his pockets for some form of protection. Ghostbur, Techno, and Phil stuck close to each other, the latter two wary and ready to fight. Heck, even Drista was there! Everyone was the same, armorless and weaponless. Everyone, including-

SMACK!

Everyone turned to watch as Sapnap’s fist flew threw the air, connecting to a familiar mask. Dream. Dream struggled against Sapnap for a moment, his mask as crazed as his movements. Before the two could exchange any more punches, an invisible force separated the former friends. As the two regained their senses, everyone could get a good look at the freed prisoner. Whether the blood on him was from the altercation with Sapnap or not, no one knew. Standing there, mask facing mask, Drista could only stare as she questioned her older brother.

“What did you do?”

“He did something despicable and disgusting.”

The unfamiliar voice caught everyone’s attention, causing them to turn and face the direction of it. Standing there was a petite woman, watching them. Studying all their expressions, she snorted as she turned to face Dream, who was trying to walk forward. 

“Don’t even try leaving that small area, Dream, you can’t. Then again, I’d enjoy seeing you struggle, Bitch Boy.”

“Who are you?”

“Didn’t Tommy tell you guys? Wait, I forgot that none of you ever took him seriously when he mentioned me. The name’s Clara, I’m the lady in the sky.”

Lani played with her fingers, unsure of what to say or do. Sticking close to her brother, she gathered her confidence before speaking to the mysterious “lady in the sky”.

“Excuse me? Clara? Did you bring us here?”

“Yes! Well, with a little help, of course.”

Clara smiled as a grand being glitched into the room, his white orb of a head spinning in delight. Stopping the orb from spinning, his shoulders shook in joy as his prominent ‘XD’ presented itself to everyone there. Techno and Phil pressed their lips together as they shared a knowing look, obviously not expecting to see the god once again.

“Oh, you make me blush, Clara.”

“I do no such thing, we both know that. Did you give unhacked access for the others to join us?”

“Yes, they should be here any moment now.”

“Wonderful.”

Just then, a dark door emerged from the ground. Watched as the knob twisted and jiggled, the residents of the server didn’t know what to expect. When the door opened, however, they could only watch in confusion. Everyone, that is, aside from Phil and Techno, who happily rushed to her side.

“Kristin!”

Said woman smiled and giggled as Phil gathered her in his arms, planting kisses on her face as his broken wings flapped in excitement. Her own wings, white and pure, happily fluttered behind her as she returned the gesture. Pulling away, she turned to face Techno, a hand on his face as she smiled.

“And how is my eldest child?”

“Eh, you know. Here and there.”

“Here and there, indeed.”

“I’m sorry, what is going on here.”

Quackity watched the scene unfold in genuine confusion. Who was this lady named Kristin? Why was she so important to both Phil and Techno? Where did she even come from? He wasn’t the only one confused, pretty much everyone in the room was. Smiling as she stood in front of both men, Kristin hummed as she extended her arms in a welcoming manner.

“My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself! Hello, my name is Kristin! I’m the wife of Phil, as well as the mother of Technoblade, Wilbur, and Tommy! I’m also Death itself.”

“I’m sorry, Philza Minecraft fucked death?!”

“Wait, Techno is Phil’s kid?! I thought they were just business partners!”

“Business partners? I thought they were just besties!”

“I’m still not over the fact that Techno is related to Wilbur and Tommy.”

“I knew about Tommy being brothers with those two, as well as being Phil’s son, but I didn’t know about death being his mother! You’d think he’d tell me, given that I’m his best friend!”

“You knew?!”

“Duh.”

“And you never corrected us?!”

“Thought it was just a dumb inside joke.”

Ignoring the chaos caused by those around her, Kristin made her way to Fundy, who was frozen in uncertainty. Smiling as she placed her hands on both sides of his face, Kristin gave the fox hybrid a sincere greeting.

“My my, what a lovely young man. It’s finally great to meet you, Fundy. Look at you, I’m so proud to call you my first grandchild.”

She knew that her words caused her husband to flinch, it’s what she intended. As much as she loved and adored her significant other, she did find it sad that Fundy was denied the right to be loved. He deserved to feel loved and important, because he was.

“I can’t wait to learn all about you during the free periods! Oh! Speaking of grandchildren, silly me.”

They watched as Kristin made her way back to her opened door. Peering in, she spoke out in a gentle voice.

“Twins? Can you two please come out? Grandma will make sure no one hurts you two.”

Everyone watched as two small figures made their way out of the door, tiny hands holding onto one another. Watching as the door disappeared back into the ground, the twins turned to face Kristin. Humming, she gathered the two in her arms as she presented them to the room.

“Family, not family, meet Clementine and William-”

“Hn.”

“-I’m sorry, love. Meet Clementine and Wilbur! They’re technically Tommy’s children, born from the debris of his star.”

“I’m sorry, his star?”

“That will be revealed soon enough, no worries.”

Clementine just glared at the occupants of the room, her pigtailed hair bouncing as she turned to make sure everyone saw her expression. Wilbur, on the other hand, opted to hide behind his curled hair, painted in the same blond color as his sister’s. 

“Did he name his son after his dead brother? Because if so, that did not age well-”

“Fuck you!”

Everyone watched with apaled expressions as Clementine glared Dream down, flipping him off with her tiny fingers. Kristin shook her head in mock annoyance as Clara belted out in laughter, XD following in suit. Doing her best to regain her composure, Clara spoke up once again.

“Oh my Me, she certainly is Tommy’s daughter.”

“Well, as much as I don’t enjoy hearing my youngest son and my only granddaughter curse out their issues, she did do it in her brother’s and uncle’s honor, so I’ll let it slide.”

“Hehe.”

“Go on, go sit with your cousin.”

“M’kay!”

Kristin set the twins down back on the ground, smiling as Clementine immediately took her brother’s hand in her own. Pulling him along, the two happily ran up to Fundy, smiling as they did so. The moment was interrupted by Quackity, who was unsure of everything.

“As great as witnessing this family reunion was, why are we all here?”

Sam nodded as he agreed with Quackity, speaking up as he gave Dream a pointed look.

“Not to be rude, but I agree. Something happened back in the prison, and I haven’t been able to see what.”

“Ah, yes. That is exactly why we’re here. Kristin, XD, if you will.”

The two nodded at Clara before taking each other’s hands. Closing her eyes, Kristin began mumbling as XD stood there, waiting. Once Kristin finished her mumbling, XD released one of his hands from her, drawing invisible signs on the air. Once he was done, both deities gave a synchronized nod. Rumbling was heard as a tunnel emerged out of nothing. A train emerged from it, coming to a sudden stop. As the doors slowly opened, everyone froze as they watched the occupants walk out, confused and cautious. 

“Wilbur?”

“Schlatt?!”

“And me, MD!”

Before anyone else could make a move or sound, Clara spoke up once more.

“As much as I want more of these sweet reunions to occur, we really do need to get a move on. Now, I am very tired of everyone treating my poor starchild with such unjust unfairness. Don’t get me wrong, Tommy does make mistakes and his narrative is in his perspective, but come on! Blaming everything on him? This is getting ridiculous at this point! Now, you are all going to sit here and feel and hear everything he did! I, alongside Kristin and XD, will be monitoring you all. And Dream? Don’t make me go over there.”

Without warning, the environment completely changed. The group suddenly found themselves in the vast emptiness of space. They didn’t know what they were looking for, no one but Kristin. Said woman could only grimace as she nodded to herself, unconsciously touching her stomach.

“I remember this.”

“Remember what-?”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The group turned to see another Kristin scream out in pain, her hand resting on the bump of the belly. They watched as she tried to take a step, only to double down in pain again.

“FUCK YOU, PHIL. HOLY SHIT, I’M GONNA PUNCH YOUR FACE SO MANY TIMES.”

Phil grimaced as he leaned away from his wife, who laughed as she kept sikeing him out with her fist. Wilbur snickered at the sight. Turning back to the scene before them, they watched as Clara quickly rushed to Kristin’s sign, obviously not enjoying her distress.

“Clara, I- Ah! I don’t think- think I can make it to the bo-OOOOOOAH! The boys! I know I promised, but I can’t.”

“Phil will understand, dear. Breathe with me, in and out, okay? I don’t know a thing about human childbirth, but I know starchildbirth. Allow me to help, okay? I don’t like to see you in pain, and neither would your husband or sons.”

“Hurry!”

Clara pulled out a small orb from her pocket, holding it in the palm of her hand. Gently holding it against Kristin’s belly. Closing her eyes, she mumbled as the dull like of the orb brightened, growing in size as it did so.

“What is she doing?”

“That orb in my hand? That’s a dying star that I collected that morning. I’m using it to dub Tommy a starchild so that Kristin wouldn’t struggle with giving birth.”

Kristin let out a sigh of relief, her screams and sobs subsiding. Taking deep breaths to try and calm herself, she rubbed her face as she tried to wipe away her tears. Mumbling out a thank you, she watched as Clara extended the bright orb to her.

“Here he is, a healthy little boy! He’ll shine brighter than the sun, I’m certain of it.”

Kristin smiled as she took the orb into her own hands, watching as the light dimmed, revealing the newly born child. Tufts of blond hair poked out of his head as she adjusted the blanket. Kristin couldn’t help but let more tears fall as she held him close, kissing his forehead.

“He already looks so much like his father. Oh, Phil will be upset that he missed this.”

“Go and see your family, I’ll cover your shift for you.”

“Thank you.”

Kristin summoned a door, adjusting her youngest son as she walked through it. Navigating through the dark void, she came across another door. Opening the door, she stepped outside into a secluded area in the woods. Walking down the path, she approached the cozy cottage that proudly stood there. Knocking on the door, she cooed at the child in her arms as she waited for the door to open.

“Kristin?”

“Meet your son, Phil. He looks so much like you.”

The group watched as Phil dropped everything in his hands, startling his sons from the other room. Holding his newborn son and wife in his arms, he wept tears of joy as a tiny Wilbur and Techno rushed in, prepared for the worst. Seeing that it was only their mother, their worried looks morphed into joyful expressions.

“Mum!”

“Mom!”

“My boys! Come, meet your new brother.”

The two boys staggered for a bit, eyes widening at the revelation of the newest addition of the family. Watching as Phil and Kristin stared down at the bundle with great love and joy, they couldn’t help but feel excited at the sight. 

“Can we hold him?”

“Of course, just be gentle with him, okay boys?”

“M’kay.”

The twins carefully cradled the bundle in both their arms, working together to keep him safe and secure in their arms. Watching the sleeping child, they were in awe at the sight.’

“He has golden hair! Just like papa!”

“Gold! Gold! Gold!”

Kristin and Phil both laughed as they watched, joy and love filling them. Humming, Phil spoke up in a gentle tone.

“Well? What’re you two gonna name him?”

The twins just watched their baby brother as he slept soundly in their arms. Suddenly, startling the twins, their new brother yawned and squirmed in their arms. Rubbing his eyes with his tiny fists, he blinked his eyes open for the first time. Blinking up at them, he tilted his head as he squirmed. It wasn’t until Wilbur spoke up that he reacted.

“Tommy. Let’s call him Tommy.”

Everyone gasped as the feeling of immense love and wonder filled them, something they weren’t prepared for. Doing their best to cope with the feeling, they watched as the baby let out gurgles of giggles, reaching for his brothers. It was only then that they realized that Tommy was a very emotion-driven person, and they were going to feel every bit of that.

[votederpycausemufins]

john mulaney voice:  Hey... What's [this story] is a lot LONGER than I first thought. that being said, this chapter itself is shorter than the others.

Before Tubbo could say anything, Tommy was in the air, a trail of smoke from his firework left behind. He held a sword in hand and flew towards where the summoned monsters were. As he reached them, Tommy saw another Hermit also in the air. “Scar? Did you summon these?”

“What?! I would never. I thought it was you or Grian!” The mayor responded, offended that Tommy would think such a thing of him.

“No way. How about we take care of them before we figure out who made them.” Tommy suggested and Scar nodded, the two of them diving at the withers, getting their attention and drawing their fire. It went well. Though there were three withers firing at the two of them, Scar and Tommy focused on damaging one of the three while dodging the rest of the attacks. When they killed the first one, Tommy dove to grab the nether star. He caught it before it reached the ground, but it was close enough he could see the damaged terrain. Another hermit was below, sword out as they fought someone with an axe. Someone Tommy recognized.

The wither sounds above filtered into Tommy’s mind as he remembered before. Back on the SMP. “You want to be a hero Tommy? Then die like one!” He didn’t realize his grip on the nether star loosen, or the fact that he was currently plummeting to the ground. “Chaos!” He was trying to find everyone. Where had they- “TOMMY!”

Tommy snapped out of it, looking for wherever Tubbo was, why he had shouted, and then he saw the ground. The island rushing closer towards him. He fumbled with his items before grabbing his fireworks just in time to launch himself back into the air. He stared down at the ground once more, trying to find Tubbo, before items started raining from above. “No! Scar!” And he flew back up towards the withers. 

One of the withers was slowly falling back down to the ground, Scar having gotten it to half its health on his own. And that was with him not being a fighter like Tommy. He slashed at the wither until it died before flying further up and attacking the final of the monsters. It got a number of attacks to hit Tommy and the teen quickly flew higher, far enough away to quickly down some golden carrots and make sure he wasn’t killed as well. After a few more attacks, the final wither was also killed and Tommy started back down to the ground. He quickly pulled out his comm and read the death messages that were reported. 

GoodtimeswithScar was shot by a skull from Wither

Keralis was slain by Technoblade

GoodtimeswithScar was slain by Technoblade

GoodtimeswithScar was slain by Technoblade

GoodtimeswithScar went off with a bang

BdoubleO100 went off with a bang

Renthedog went off with a bang

Jrumbot went off with a bang

Looking back at the ground as he put the comm away again, Tommy could see the fading colors of fireworks being launched. He dove down, even using a firework of his own to get there quicker, but as the smoke cleared, he pulled back to slow his descent. On the ground Grian was fighting Technoblade and holding his own, sword parrying the blows from Techno’s axe.

Tommy scanned the rest of the area. Tubbo was on the ground a number of blocks away, coughing from the smoke. Phil was nearby, but couldn’t move due to some of the debris managing to have landed on one of his wings. While Tommy wanted to help Grian out, he didn’t look like he needed it as much as Tubbo and Philza did, so he changed his path to go in their direction.

“Tubbo, are you okay?!” Tommy asked as he landed, quickly helping his friend up. Tubbo tried to speak, but instead it all came out as coughing. “Just go to town hall.” Tommy pointed at the large building on a nearby hill. “I know it’s gonna sound weird, but find the cat there and hold onto her for dear life! Got it?” Tubbo was hesitant at first, but then nodded and ran towards the building. 

Tommy ran the opposite way over to Phil and helped him out of the rubble. He had to be a little careful with breaking everything so he didn’t hurt his dad, but it wasn’t the hardest material to deal with, so freeing the avian wasn’t too difficult of a task. “Was that Techno? How’d he get here?”

“Dunno.” Tommy answered, helping his dad to his feet. “He’s fighting Grian right now, so we better stop them.”

Phil nodded and the two of them ran towards where Grian and Techno were still fighting. Grian was looking very angry, to the point where he seemed to be using some Watcher magic at least slightly as his wings were their alternate colors and he had more than just one pair of eyes.

“It won’t matter once you’re dead!” Were the first words Tommy could make out, the sentence coming from Techno.

“I don’t plan on dying for good anytime soon. You, on the other hand, will probably wish you could die.”

“Grian!” Tommy shouted, and the Watcher looked away from Techno and up at Tommy. The piglin hybrid tried at use that as an opening to attack, but Grian hadn’t completely looked away since he could control his various eyes independently. “Techno! Stop fighting him! Even if you win it’s not going to end well!”

But Techno ignored Tommy and attacked once more. Grian pulled his shield up to block the attack, but the axe didn’t connect. In all of the commotion, no one saw someone new enter the area until now. All eyes were on Grumbot as he had stopped the axe with a hand and then pulled it out of Techno’s hands. “Hello Uncle Technoblade.”

Everything was quiet. Tommy was pretty sure the robot was doing the same thing as when Grian and Phil had been fighting, shocking them into doing nothing. But Techno wasn’t Phil. He pulled out another crossbow and aimed it at Grum. Tommy shouted as he watched as the trigger was pulled.

Tommy ran toward where they had stood. His comm buzzing in his pocket. He couldn’t see the messages, but he knew what they were.

Grumbot went off with a bang

Grian went off with a bang

Technoblade was slain by Tommyinnit

Tommy panted, unmoving as he just held his sword in place, the blade left where Techno had been standing moments before. For a moment he was glad, but then he panicked. Had Techno gone back to the SMP when he was killed? Was he back at spawn? Was he nowhere and gone from existence? His comm buzzed again and Tommy immediately pulled it out.

Xisuma was slain by Technoblade

Okay, at the very least now he knew Techno had respawned. The question is where Xisuma was. His best guess was the spawn island since at least with Tubbo, Phil and himself, they were brought by Grian. Tommy took a moment to catch his breath slightly before rocketing back up into the air and heading to spawn. On his way there, he saw a boat heading towards the main island, so Tommy dove down towards it. “Technoblade!”

The hybrid looked up just in time to see Tommy land into the boat with a ‘thunk’ making it shake and letting a little bit of water come over the sides. “Tommy.”

“Oh my god is that Xisuma’s gear?”

Techno looked down at himself before looking back to the main spawn area. “If you mean the guy that was over there when I respawned, yeah.” Techno huffed. “Now I think you should get out of this boat before I make you.”

“No. You need to hear me out first.”

“No I don’t. You were helping the guys that kidnapped you and Phil. He said that guy was a Watcher. Phil told us stories about them growing up.”

Tommy crossed his arms. “He told you and Wil those stories. He never told me any of those. Plus, they were wrong.”

“You honestly expect me to believe you after you’ve been living with them for months?” Techno growled, moving his stolen weapon closer to Tommy.

“I believe them because they’re family.”

“We’re your family Tommy.”

“So’s Xelqua.”

Techno’s eyes widened and the sword lowered just enough from his shock that Tommy quickly stole it away before showing it into the water. “Did you just say that to-”

Tommy shook his head. “No! Of course not! It’s a plus, but I’m telling the truth. Dad knows too. None of use were sure at first, not even him. Like you said, I’ve been living with them for months, but until yesterday we didn’t know.”

“Then for all we know he’s lying. Or maybe he’s not really someone to trust.”

Tommy just sighed. “Can we just fucking go back to the spawn area so X can get his shit back? While we’re there I can tell everyone else what’s going on.”

Reluctantly Techno agreed and turned the boat around just as Xisuma was arriving with his emergency bee elytra out from his suit. 

“Alright, give him his fucking stuff back.” Tommy said as he pushed Techno out of the boat, making the hybrid grumble and take off the pilfered armor and other gear. “Alright then. Techno, this is Xisuma. He’s the admin of the server. He’s not like Dream but can be so much worse if you give him any reason to.”

Xisuma tilted his head slightly at the unfamiliar name, but mostly ignored it to take his items back. “I would welcome you to the server, but it seems you’ve already made yourself known.”

Techno huffed. “Yeah, just tell me where Phil is and I’ll be on my way.”

“Bitch what about Xel?”

“I doubt he wants to go back with us.”

“Hey I’m not fucking leaving. And I’m not sure Phil is either.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“He’ll want to stay with Grian for a bit probably.” Techno raised an eyebrow at Tommy. “He changed his name to Grian ages ago. Don’t know the full details though. He only really ever said he got bullied for it growing up and changed it in highschool or some shit.”

“Fine, I guess we’re staying here a bit.” Techno crossed his arms before getting back in the boat.

“Um, I seem to be missing my sword still.” Xisuma piped up, and Tommy jabbed his finger in the direction they came from. X nodded when he saw it floating on the surface of the water and flew over to grab the weapon.

While he did that, Tommy jumped back in the boat and rowed with Techno back to the island, going right up to Tommy’s beach area. Phil and Tubbo were both there, Tubbo with a certain gray striped cat in their lap.

The moment they reached land, Techno got out of the boat and walked over to Philza, who handed him the gear he lost when Tommy managed to kill him. “Is what Tommy said true? About Xel?”

Phil nodded. “Yeah. In fact he’s the Watcher that showed up. He’s gone through a lot since we last saw him.”

“How do we know we can trust him.”

Phil looked off to the side. “Well, he’s done better for Tommy than we did.”

The two of them were quiet to the point where Tommy broke the silence by going over to Tubbo. “Ey Tubzo, looks like you and Jellie are getting along. Very cool, very cool. She’s not upset at you bringing her along?”

Tubbo shook their head. “No, I tried to leave her back in that big building but she followed behind me.”

“Yeah, she sort of has a mind of her own. Grian’s not even completely sure she’s really a cat.” Tommy then looked up as he noticed something in the sky. “Speaking of which, looks like that’s him.”

The others also looked skyward and saw the bright red wings of Grian spread out as he was gliding. The avian noticed the group and pulled them in, diving down. However, shortly after doing that, Tommy watched as Grian pulled out a sword. The moment he landed on the ground, the blade was against Techno’s throat, Grian glaring up at his taller brother, his eyes red and puffy.

“Grian! Stop stop stop stop! That’s Technoblade, that’s Technoblade!” Tommy rushed over and tried to stop Grian but the avian pushed Tommy to the side.

“I don’t care who he is! He killed them and they’re not respawning!” Grian shouted, pressing the blade further, drawing a few drops of blood.

Tommy took a slight step back. “Wait, who? What do you mean? What happened?” But he was pretty sure he knew. Tommy saw the death messages. Scar was obviously respawning, and the other hermits would too. But two of those on the list wouldn’t.

“What are you talking about?” Techno looked down, showing no emotion to Grian.

“You killed my kids!” Grian yelled at him. “They’re dead and they’re not coming back! And it’s all your fault!”

It looked like Grian wanted to yell even more, but Philza grabbed him in a hug and the younger avian just dissolved into crying. Tommy and Techno met eyes, and even the powerful Technoblade flinched at the glare he received from his youngest brother.

Back on the SMP, Ghostbur kept floating around where the people had been before. He couldn’t quite remember why they had disappeared. He remembered something big with wings. He was pretty sure it was a giant bird. It looked kind of like his dad! And Tommy had been there too, but then everyone but Technoblade left. And then even Techno had left. Ghostbur was pretty sure he was supposed to stay there, but he wasn’t sure.

Then suddenly he felt something. As a ghost, he didn’t have access to a communicator, so the supernatural powers that allowed him to exist as a ghost also allowed him to interact with what would be the chat. So he was very aware when some people showed up. And since his friends and family had left, that had to be them coming back! It was a little strange they weren’t right there, but maybe they were just back where everyone else appears. Yeah, that was probably it!

Ghostbur went back towards spawn, ready to see Phil and Technoblade and Tommy. And he was happy to see there was someone right where there should be. Two someones in fact. But they seemed a little short. Techno and Tommy were tall, so it couldn’t be them, and Philza was short, but not that short. So that must mean it was someone completely different.

“Hello there! I’m Ghostbur!”

The two new people jumped slightly before turning to look at him. “Oh! H-Hi!”

“Who are you two? Unless we’ve already met. I don’t think we have, but I also have trouble remembering so maybe we have!”

“No, we have not met you before. I do not believe the two of us have even been to this world before. Can you tell us where we are?”

“Oh! You’re in the Dream SMP!” Ghostbur answered, just as one of the two newcomers checked what they had in place of a communicator.

Jrumbot joined the world

Grumbot joined the world

[fallingappleshurt]

im in the mood for angst, so for your dff au, could you please writing a one shot or smth along those lines of techno coming home from a particularly tough duel and everybody else’s reactions? ty!!! <33

YES HELLO I WRITE

Yes Hello I’m a writer and I forgot about asks but here we go!! I’m sorry this took so long and that it’s really bad but here it is!

This is very poorly edited I’m so sorry lol, this takes place in my dff AU! It’s spunky

And it’s been awhile since I’ve written for this AU so things are a little weird, kind of missed the angst but I got ideas don’t worry

TW: violence, fighting, description of injury but nothing too graphic I think

Dicey Nights

Sword in hand, solid stance, deep breath. He could do this.

Techno tapped his foot anxious against the cement floor, waiting for his opponent to climb over the ropes and enter the arena. The air was thick and hot from the muggy night’s humidity and the crowds incessantly loud cheering. The arena was dimly lit around the stans, all light coming from a giant overhead, casting grimmy light over the blood splatters that stained the rough concrete.

His opponent entered the ring, eyes flashing in the light, lips quirked up in a barely perceptible grin. Techno’s anxiety shot from his stomach to his heart, this man was like a tank, tall with bulky limbs and long flat sword.

Techno pushed his worries away, he had taken on opponents bigger then himself before, just not that big, but they needed the money, he had to win this.

They both walked to the middle of the platform, shook hands, the other man gripping too tightly to be friendly, then they turned and walked back to their starting places.

The buzzer sounded and the man shot forwards, sword swinging in an arch, Techno’s sword clashed with his, metal screeching pierced the air as the man tried to overpower Techno, putting his weight on the sword.

Techno kicked him in the knee, the man sputtered and slipped, allowing Techno to dodge to the side then ram into the man, sending him to the ground. He moved to slash his sword at the man’s neck and fake out the audience then the duel finished, quick and easy if the man stayed down for the three count.

Suddenly the man lashed out and landed a kick square into Techno chest, sending him reeling. Techno scrambled to his feet, stifling a groan. His ribs protesting vehemently, sending shockwaves of fire through his chest, he watched as the other man rolled back onto his feet.

The man, Techno heard the crowd cheering ‘Go Thrasher!’, ran at him again, opting to not overpower him but overwhelm him, he swung wildly, he obviously never had any training.

Techno took the defensive, slash, stab, dodge, block, kick back, and repete, analyzing Thrasher’s fighting style, his patterns and goto movements. Once he memorized the motions he switched to offense, changing his own patterns as well, quick slashes and jabs, forcing Thrasher back, Techno would kick at the man’s legs then go back to swinging.

In a ditch effort Thrasher whipped his sword around only for Techno to kick it out of his hands, sending it flying. Techno slammed into the man once again, taking advantage of his distraction, and knocked him to the ground.

He pointed his sword at the man’s neck, looking down the blade at Thrasher, the crowd around him screaming, “Go Blade go!” He tried to keep his face emotionless, waiting for the announcer to call it off.

Thrasher wasn’t giving up, he kicked at Techno again, who half dodged half stumbled away. Thrasher moved faster then Techno had even seen, Techno lashed out, slicing his arm but it didn’t faze Thrasher. Rage blazing in his eyes he jumped on Techno and knocked him to the ground, half pinning him, a knee on one of Techno’s arms, knocking his sword away.

Thrasher punched him across the face, Techno’s head jerked to the side, pain flaring in his face, nausea rising in his gut as the man reared back and hit him again and again.

Techno weakly grabbed for his sword but came up short, his vision was blurring, hot blood dripped down his face, matting his hair. In a last ditch effort, he threw a punch, aiming for Thrasher's throat, he hit his target dead on and hard.

Thrasher gasped and faltered, his grip loosen and Techno took his chance. He yanked himself away and sent another kick to the man's chest, scrambling towards his sword.

He didn’t know what he was doing, he couldn’t win this, the adrenaline would wear off soon and he’d lose, he wouldn’t be able to fight after this, he’d have to go home empty handed. That thought alone made him feel even more sick.

Thrasher rose to his feet, breathing heavily, Techno got into a weak stance, prepared to go down fighting. You weren’t allowed to kill in the duels but Techno was scared Thrasher would chuck those rules out the window. Thrasher’s fists were clenched, cracked and bloody at his sides, fire in his eyes, he let out a roar. Techno’s grip on his sword tightened and he prepared to swing-

The buzzer sounded.

The fight lasted 10 minutes, the announcer called it a draw. The audience booed and complained as Techno went to shake hands with Thrasher.

Thrasher looked at Techno’s hand in disgust before slapping it away, “You fight dirty, freak.” He growled, Techno scowled but bit his tongue and flipped Thrasher off and stalked off as dignified as he could with the room spinning like a toy top.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the sidelines and chugged it when one of the organizers threw a small pouch at him.

“You’re off your game,” The women commented lazily, not looking up from her clipboard, “I expected better.”

“Then you hop on in there,” Techno grumbled, not making eye contact as he pocketed the pouch, he sheathed his sword.

“I’d rather die,” She said, eyes flickering up from the page, “Just like you almost did.”

Techno snorted, “Please,” He said, shouldering his bag and walking towards the bathrooms, “I neva die.”

He somehow managed to get to the bathroom without collapsing, he pushed open the door and stumbled over to the sinks. He gripped the edge tightly, waiting for the room to stop spinning, he looked up at the mirror and realized he was fucked.

There was a gross cut on his hairline, trickling blood down his face, the right side of his face was covered in blooming bruises, blood from his nose smeared down his chin, he looked like a mess.

He felt like a mess.

Techno grabbed a paper towel and ran it under the faucet then scrubbed it against down his chin and along his hairline, ignoring the sting. He dried his face off then filled up his water bottle, dreading the fact that he couldn’t hide this from his family. He hoped to get home before Wilbur or Tommy woke up, he knew he couldn’t avoid Phil, he got up extra early to be able to commute to work.

Techno started home, not bothering to stay for any other duels, he wouldn’t be able to win, not in the state he was in anyways. He squeezed past the security guards and tried not to fall while walking, the trip home only should have been around forty minutes but between his slow pace and stopping to take breaks so he wouldn’t pass out it took him over 2 hours to get back.

The rusty metal stair squeaked as Techno climbed them, they groaned as he put his weight on the railing, god he wanted to lay down.

He unlocked the door, trying to push it open as quietly as possible, of course the door made that impossible as it creaked loudly.

The door cast a shadow on the soft light coming from the kitchen, Techno could hear dishes clicking quietly.

“Hey Tech,” Phil said, as Techno locked the door again, “You’re back later then usual-” He stopped, staring at Techno’s face, Techno immediately put his hands up, “Now I know what you’re thinking but let me just say; it’s not that bad.”

“Sit,” Phil said, setting his coffee cup down, Techno rolled his eyes, but sat down anyways. “Yeah I saw that coming,”

“Please tell me the other guys looks worse,” Phil prodded at the bruises on Techno’s face, Techno shrugged.

“Please tell me you didn’t get your face fucked up for nothing,”

“I hope? I mean I got a few good hits in, oh that reminds me,” Techno leaned over, rummaging through his bag for money pouch,

He immediately regretted it because it made the room spin again. He grumbled but found the pouch and tossed it on the table.

”It’s not a lot but it’s something,” Techno trailed off, he could have stayed longer, fought harder, been more useful but a few bruises sent him running back home. “I can go back tomorrow, get us more-”

“What? You’re not going back, you look like shit!” Phil said incredulously, checking the cut along his hairline,

“But we need the money,”

“We’ll get by,” Phil’s eyes narrowed, mouth in a tight line.

“That’s a lie-”

“No it’s not,”

“Phil I’m not stupid we need more and I can go back, tonight was just an off, when I go back I can get us more-”

“You’re not going back!” Phil said firmly, “You’ll get hurt again-”

“It’ll be worth it-”

“No! It’s not! Nothing is worth you getting this hurt!” Phil snapped, he took a breath, shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry it’s- it’s just not worth it, you need to be okay too, you deserve to be okay.”

Techno sat there, not sure what to say. Phil looked at the clock and swore under his breath, “Shit, I’m gonna be late,” He grabbed his coat, “I’ll see you later, take it easy, alright?” Techno nodded as Phil walked out the door.

He sits there for a minute, not sure what to do, he wants to sleep for 45 hours but he is also hungry. He opted to grab a banana when he hears Wilbur yell from the other room;

“Tommy brush your hair!” The bedroom door opened, “No! It looks fine!” He didn’t notice Techno as he walked into the bathroom, Wilbur followed him out a moment later.

“Hey Wil,”

“Hey Tech, you're up earlier and oh my god are you okay?” He trailed off to the next point, gesturing gingerly at Techno’s face.

“Yes, I’m fine, I promise,” Techno said again, putting his hands up and rolling his eyes. Wilbur nodded, they stood there for a moment before Wilbur asked;

“Did Phil flip out?”

“Oh yeah definitely,”

“Well, at least something’s normal,” Techno snorted.

“Hey Wilbur, we’re low on toothpaste again-” Tommy said, coming out of the bathroom, he looked at Techno and trailed off.

“Uh, Techno, You’ve got a little something,” Tommy gestured to his own face, hand hovering over the whole right side, “on your face, like everywhere.”

Techno snorted and smiled softly, “Thanks for telling me nerd,”

“What happened?”

“Not important,” Techno said, grabbing an orange from their fruit bowl, tossing it at Tommy, who caught it with ease, “What is important is that you’re gonna be late for school, now get going.” He hadn’t told Tommy about the arena fights, he didn’t know how Tommy would react and he didn’t want to encourage it or risk it.

“No I’m not, you’re just avoiding the question!” Tommy protested, jamming his finger into the skin of the orange.

“You sure about that?” Techno nodded to the clock on the wall, 7:06.

“Oh shit, I gotta go,” Tommy said, Wilbur slapped the back of his head, “Language,”

“What come on! You say it all the time!”

“Yeah cause I’m older then you, now grab your shit,”

“Now you're just rubbing it in!” Tommy said, grabbing his backpack off the hook by the door.

“You’re right, now let’s go, I’ll walk to you,” Wilbur stopped in the doorway, Techno could hear the creaks of the stairs as Tommy jumped down. Wilbur looked at Techno, eyes soft.

“Go to sleep Tech, you look like you need it,”

“Well I was going to but now that you said that, I think I’ll stay up,” He teased, Wilbur rolled his eyes.

“If you aren’t asleep by the time I get back I will crush you,”

“I’d like to see you try,” Techno shot back as Wilbur closed the door, locking it.

The banana forgotten and set back on the counter, Techno slipped his shoes and laid down, hoping the others wouldn’t worry too much, he fell asleep almost immediately.

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 1: Welcome to Comic Event Hell

You know what readers love? When the stories they’ve gotten invested in over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

And you know what writers love? When the story they’ve been crafting over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

Did I say love?

Because I didn’t mean it.

“Dark Cybertron” was penned by John Barber and James Roberts, with collaboration with comic writer and artist Phil Jimenez, and was published from early November, 2013 to late March, 2014. Atilio Rojo, James Raiz, and Livio Ramondelli did the art, each responsible for scenes in specific locations, with Robert Gill filling in as needed. Alex Milne, Andrew Griffith, and Brendan Cahill would also contribute pencils to the first issue and the back half of the series. It was a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the franchise, and the second birthday of Phase Two... which went on for over four months, but never mind that!

Both "Dark Cybertron” and its preliminary materials were made to go alongside the Transformers: Generations toy-line, each issue being included as a toy pack-in with whatever character was being featured… or, at least, that was the plan. Sometimes it didn’t work out. Regardless, this storyline was created to sell toys directly, as opposed to the MTMTE/RID series being made to sell toys more through the power of suggestion. It’s a small distinction, but important, because it will help explain any lack of soul one may perceive while they read “Dark Cybertron”.

“But Hannz!” you cry out, reaching to grab me by the throat and shake me like a rag doll, because to you I’m merely a faceless voice on the internet. “Surely by calling this specific storyline soulless, you’re completely ignoring the very nature of this franchise that you’re almost uncomfortably invested in!”

To which I’ll say this: look, I’m pretty realistic about where my giant space robots came from; Transformers as a franchise would not exist the way it does without Ronald Reagan introducing the Free Market to literal children and fucking up how we interact with media for the rest of time. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and that rings especially true when I’ve got a Spinister on my bookshelf staring me down as I write this, that was likely made out of plastics which either involved blood oil or unethical labor practices, if not both.

However!

The choices of a company to have their comic license holders to cook up an entire plot that derails what they’ve already got planned out for toy tie-in comics is a completely different animal than what IDW had had going on up to this point. Phase Two had been about exploring different ideas that hadn’t been able to be explored during the war, and seeing what happens when you take away a third of the logline for Transformers G1 as a whole. Being a part of a brand of toys was almost inconsequential to how the stories were being told; even the Spotlights, which were also toy tie-in comics, had plenty of charm to them, if only because there weren’t quite as many constraints placed on the writers, and they were stand-alone issues.

Of course, being tie-in comics isn’t the only reason that “Dark Cybertron” is a bit of a slog, considering everything IDW itself was trying to get done within this storyline, but we’ll cover the publishing company’s/Simon Furman’s/Transformers’ tumultuous relationship with the concept of gender identity and expression later on, when it becomes relevant to the story proper. This point also ties into the interesting origin of Windblade, who we’ll meet in a few issues, and what happens when you let your fanbase have a taste of power and forget that people might like to see themselves represented in the media they consume.

“Dark Cybertron” is what ended up making me stop reading MTMTE the first time I tried it in 2015. A big part of it was because it forced the reader to need so much information from RID and even events prior to Phase Two, it wasn’t very fun to try to parse what was going on, on top of the writing beginning to flag because of obvious constraints to what Barber and Roberts could actually do, both within their deadlines and the rules put in place by their higher ups for the event.

 “Dark Cybertron” is the result of the sort of executive meddling that kills reader enjoyment by requiring writers to cram their two worlds together as quickly as possible, without the option to go for nuance because there simply isn’t time. The reason we have four separate artists for the front half of this story is because Milne and Griffith didn’t have time to draw both their current workload and “Dark Cybertron” at the same time... but sales probably went up due to the nature of how the story was published, so I’m sure they didn’t really see a problem with it.

That’s a general “they”, not a Milne and Griffith “they”.

In short, we’ve got license contract obligations, fan-poll obligations, and gender stuff fighting for space within the next 12 issues, which will be published in the span of roughly four months. Things are probably going to be a little bloated and sloppy.

Regardless of any of these points, this is what we’ve got. It’s not like it’s all bad- “Dark Cybertron” has the benefit of being written by two people who had been working closely before it had even been conceptualized. Barber was the senior editor for MTMTE, and IDW as a whole until he left in 2016. It also isn’t a proper crossover- y’know, where two completely separate titles get mashed together for a bit. MTMTE and RID exist in the same universe, just have their own things going on, so a decent amount of things still carry over without you needing to have read every single thing in both. The writing, while not quite up to par with pieces that had more creative freedom and breathing room between scenes, is still recognizable as being Barber and Roberts’. Their voices are still here, they’re just strained under the weight of everything that has to be said inside of 12 issues.

With all THAT out of the way, let’s dive in to Dark Dawn: Dark Cybertron Chapter 1.

We get a quick rundown of the most basic information you’ll need for this entire story to make sense, as we reintroduce the fact that Shockwave is an ecoterrorist with more agendas than a daily planner factory on meth, and also that he grows magic crystals. I don’t care what he says, the Ores are fucking space-magic. If you don’t want to read through all of RID for everything else, please see Robots in Disguise (2012), #1-22- A Recap, For Reference Purposes.  We also get a quick rundown of the Lost Lighters’ deal, as Swerve potentially has a meta-episode.

Be careful what you fucking wish for, bucko.

Our story proper starts with a flashback to the shittiest road trip Cyclonus ever went on, as the Ark 1 finds itself at the edge of a mysterious portal. This is likely why he wasn’t super thrilled when the portal to Luna 1 showed up- portals are probably a touchy subject for him.

Jhiaxus doesn’t know what this portal is- surely this means that science has failed us, and it’s time to call in the religious crowd to try and suss out what’s going on here.

It’s moments like this that make me wonder what exactly happened in the Dead Universe that made Cyclonus’ cheek meat just pack up and leave.

Now, we know that Cyclonus is correct here, because we as readers have more knowledge than the characters at this point, but Jhiaxus tries to write off this theory as hogwash, because he is a man of rationality and science. This is a slight removal from his character in the present, whose most notable traits seem to be a lack of ethics and screaming.

Everyone here seems to be slightly different from their current iterations, actually; Galvatron doesn’t say a word as he steps between Jhiaxus and Cyclonus, only using his body to communicate that the scientist might want to back off. Cyclonus himself is certainly the wordiest we’ve ever seen him to be, droning on through his actual thought process before he comes to a conclusion on what exactly they’ve found. Compare this to the Cyclonus of today, who only deigns to grace everyone with his voice if they outright threaten him, have something he wants, or are Tailgate. If he were to ever pull this verbal meandering on board the Lost Light, people would probably assume he’s having a stroke.

Nova Prime- you remember him, don’t you?- gives not a fuck about the Dead Universe, only what it means for him personally. And what it means for him is more locations to subjugate, because he is cartoonishly evil. His character is the least removed from his present-day iteration out of everyone. He tells the crew they’ll be getting a little closer, only for the portal to do the work for them, by way of dark energy tentacles.

Wow, the pilot for the Ark 1 really is just straight-up named Butt, isn’t he? And what the fuck is that face you’re making, Cyclonus? Are you- oh my god, are you emoting? Oh my god, he’s emoting.

As the Ark 1 is pulled to its doom, Jhiaxus makes a quick phone call to Shockwave to tell him he’s his favorite, and to keep up the good work.

In the present, Shockwave reflects on just how friggin’ long this whole ordeal has taken. Fortunately, Waspinator and the Titan are almost here, and he can hardly wait.

Not, uh, that he’s got emotions or anything. It’s been established that he doesn’t have those anymore. Is impatience an emotion? Does that count?

Shockwave seems like he’d be really frustrating to write for.

Anyway, the Titan shows up, the Ore inside him and the Ore in the underground Crystal City combine, and the Titan starts screaming because everything hurts. Shockwave’s about as thrilled as he can be about the situation, given his lack of emotions.

Above Crystal City, we finally get back to that nonsense about the early sunrise, as someone- maybe Starscream, given the color of the narration box- waxes poetic on the planet of Cybertron, wartorn and wild in its rebirth, ruled by paranoia that has nothing to bounce off of, and so creates its own walls.

Then we get a detailed shot of Rattrap’s mug, and the moment is broken.

Rattrap’s character is a lot of fun in everything he gets tossed into, but you’re a goddamn liar if you think he’s pretty to look at. You are lying to yourself, and I won’t apologize for saying it.

Starscream walks out of his room in his hot new body, feeling fine and ready to take on the world. We’ll check in on him later in the day to see how that positive mentality is working out for him.

So, the sun hasn’t moved, and it’s way too early for the sun to even be up right now. That’s weird. Because I guess he didn’t know how the sun works, Starscream’s only just realized that this is perhaps a problem. He does some computer work and realizes that this is indeed a very bad thing, and asks that Rattrap call the Autobots. Not the ones who fucked off into the wilderness, the other ones. The gay, space ones.

Up in space, Orion Pax and his pals have found themselves in dire straits, the collapsing Gorlam Prime sucking their ship back down as the Death Ore consumes everything.

That’s not how engines work! And I think it really says something about the “Prelude” issues that I completely forgot why Wheelie was down an arm for a solid five seconds.

It turns out that Orion was the narrator the entire time, which I should have known- since when is the once and future Optimus Prime not the primary voice in any media he appears in?

It’s looking rough for the fellas, but luckily we’ve got to get the plot rolling, so the Lost Light VZZZZTs into existence and picks up the Skyroller to place it gently into its belly.

Orion isn’t exactly jazzed about the fact that Rodimus didn’t listen to what he told him, not even bothering to thank the guy for saving his life. I say y’all keep going on your Thunderclash Quest and leave this ungrateful loser behind. No space yachting for you, Orion.

The rest of the Pax Posse enter the Lost Light proper, and Hardhead reveals that he nearly joined the Quest, before he saw who all would be coming with, while Garnak has a tearful reunion with Rodimus. The fact that he’s calling him Sir- which I don’t recall him doing in Transformers (2009), at least not in a way that seems reminiscent of an unfortunate Antebellum Period Romance- feels rather weird, but I’m glad someone’s fucking happy to see Rodimus at least. Ultra Magnus asks Orion if he’ll be assuming command of the vessel, as Rodimus tries not to look horrified by the thought alone, but fortunately Orion’s not going to pull his “I’m Optimus Prime and I Can Do What I Want” Card just yet.

Smash cut to the bridge, as Rodimus tries to make himself sound competent, when Starscream calls. Orion doesn’t like that Starscream has their number, Perceptor almost reveals the fact that this ship technically doesn’t belong to a faction, likely due to being purchased after the war, and Cyclonus gets brought in for his professional opinion.

As it turns out, that early sunrise isn’t a sunrise at all, but a portal to the Dead Universe. This is a problem, because the Dead Universe really sucks, and you don’t want to go there, especially if you enjoy being alive. Orion seems more concerned about the fact that Starscream is ruling the planet, and Bumblebee is nowhere to be found.

Speaking of Bumblebee, he and all his camp buddies are psyching themselves up for a confrontation.

Swoop, please, this is hardly the time for crudeness.

The Dinobots, sick of Bumblebee’s dithering about, decide they’re going to fight the fucking sun and gear up. Prowl, though generally disliking their brand of problem-solving, does share his begrudging respect of their can-do attitude.

Their can-do attitude over fighting the fucking sun.

Then an earthquake happens and the ground rips open to reveal that Titan that Waspinator showed up with.

Shockwave takes over the narration at this point, and we get artsy, as we see events that haven’t transpired yet over musings on the nature of... time? Maybe? It would be in line with Roberts’ go-to topics, but honestly the whole thing’s kind of vague so I couldn’t give you a solid answer. Shockwave gets awfully introspective for a guy who shouldn’t care, I know that much. The point is, he is inevitable and is super good at logic and science.

Also, Nova Prime and Galvatron are back, which is cool, I guess. Not sure where Galvatron had gotten to exactly after the events of “Chaos”, but he’s back now, so it doesn’t matter too terribly much. Shockwave serves them, which we’ll probably get an explanation for at some point.

God, you can practically taste the desperation to pin all these plot points together before the entire thing implodes on itself.

[enderspawn]

🎵 Ghostbur? :)

HOOOO BOY ANON I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABT GHOSTBUR

Ramblings Of A Lunatic – Bears in Trees

Clean Slated State – The Altogether

Bouquet – Ethan Jewell

Everything Stays – Adventure Time

It’s Alright – Mother Mother

more thoughts abt each song below the cut bc I spend too much listening to ghostbur songs JFKDLSJFKL

OKAY SO FIRST UP: RAMBLINGS OF A LUNATIC IS A SONG ABT THE MEMORY BOOK BABEY!!

“I'm setting pen to paper again Lost my sense of home from the words that I've said But the thoughts have begun to ferment in my head And content manifest don't feel good enough for them”

Ghostbur came to life w so little memories that the L’Manberg he exists in isn’t the one he knew, it isn’t his HOME and its because of the actions of Alivebur, “from the words that I’ve said”. But regardless he still remembers things and needs to write them down both for him and everyone else

“So I try and transcend my ego But don't we know It will never work Maybe I'll just descend to dirt Flirt with becoming food for worms”

He tries to remember being alivebur, the bad he did, but he just CANT and also hee hoo lines abt being dead and ghost character go brrrrrrr

“Why has constructing sentences become like pulling teeth Wiping dental records clean Is the carcass even me?”

Again, the disconnect between Wilbur and ghostbur!! Maybe this is trying to remember or him reading up on the history of l’manberg, learning what Wilbur did. “Is this carcass even ME” bc in the end he’s a different PERSON from alivebur, he can’t relate to any of alivebur’s actions.

“Maybe this is a result Of me finally accepting That I'll be alone forever That I deserve forgetting It's a pointless endeavour And maybe it's upsetting”

OKAY hear me out but this is abt him like. Existing. Him BEING a ghost. He’s isolated from the ppl around him bc they have all these memories he doesn’t and they cant separate him from what alivebur did. The “I deserve forgetting” is less “ppl should forget about me” and more “I should forget what I know” bc hhhrnrng amnesia. Trying to remember is upsetting and he always forgets in the end, even if someone else tells him. Why bother? He deserves to forget instead

“But I've never felt more comfortable In the concept of things ending”

Hey remember how ghostbur is trying to get revived despite very clearly being terrified of dying because he thinks its whats best for everyone else. Remember how he told phil the second time that he was better with it now because he’s seen the other side. :)

“Maybe this writer's block that I've been perceiving Is to stop me diving deeply into my internal being And falling into darkness below my surface tension Emotional suppression my coping mechanism”

Do I NEED to clarify jfkldsjfkld my mans ghostbur THRIVES off of emotional suppression. He ignores his own negative feelings and just tries to make sure no one else around him feels the same way (w his blue). He straight up suppresses any sad feelings or memories, which means he has this “writers block” when writing his memories bc its stopping him from returning to that dark place. Like. BRUH ITS PERFECT FOR HIM.

“'Cause all my friends are dying, some faster than the others Lungs filling up with fluid, place face under the covers”

Hey remember how his brother and closest friend he spent the most time w is at one life left. Remember how tommy always woke up in the ocean drowning. :)

“'Cause all my friends are dying, some faster than the others I'm trying to distract myself from the fears that I've discovered”

Ghostbur cant ever really realize when shit is fucked as part of his coping mechanism. When techno is getting hunted down for execution (again, a friend dying) he distracts himself by finding friend instead. He just. Cant deal w reality.

OKAY THAT TOOK SO LONG IM GONNA GO SHORT FOR THE REST OF THE SONGS JUST LISTEN AND HAVE UR OWN EMOTIONAL THOUGHTS ABT GHOSTBUR FJDKSLFJ

Clean Slated Slate – first off, the altogether deserves more clout in general. Secondly, “Do you need someone, do you need a new me? 'Cause I've got two or three and they'll only be here until my clean slated state” is hhrrnrnng hes a DIFFERENT PERSON YOUR HONOR. Also the quilt line kills me every time

Bouquet - hrhrnnrngng flower = blue, next question FJKDLSJFKLJKJ

Everything Stays – everything is so similar to what he remembers, but at the same time everything is so different. everyONE is so different, changed by the trauma they’ve gone through which ghostbur just. Hasn’t. “Everything stays right where you left it. Everything stays, but it still changes ever so slightly, daily and nightly In little ways, when everything stays”

It’s Alright – okay this song is just a banger but I wanna draw attention to one bit

“I don't wanna know who I am 'Cause heaven only knows what I'll find I don't wanna know I'm not capable of coming out alive I don't wanna see what's inside I think that I would rather be blind I don't wanna know I'm not capable, I'm capable”

Anyway ghostbur be drinkin that repression juice amiright JFKDLSJFKLKL, but yeah otherwise just healing and accepting what alivebur did and that he is not the Same Person, hes Not A Monster, Ghostbur I Would Die For You, I Love You Personally FJDKSLJFKL

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #366

“you can’t take me from me”

If you’re a girl, have you ever had the urge shave your hair? No. Do you live by a forest? Not anymore. :( How old are your parents? Late 50s. What do you prefer: Small cars, hybrids, trucks or SUVs? Uh, I guess normal ones? Like the ones with four doors and not that horribly low to the ground. What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? I've never read a book that was scary to me. Do your parents drink? Dad doesn't anymore, and Mom very rarely does, usually just for special occasions. Does downloading music without paying make you feel guilty? Yes, so idk why I still do it. .-. Do you have any pet fish? Nah. What’s your favorite seafood to eat? I only like shrimp. Does your house have air conditioning? Yes. Name the creepiest horror movie character for you: Ghostface, ever since I was a kid. I was horrified of him, and I still think his design is mega creepy. How many college degrees do you want? I wanted to get at most a Bachelor's (I never saw reason to go higher in the fields I was interested in, except for my brief wildlife biologist aspiration), but now I know I'm not getting any degrees. Do you like animals? I love animals. Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes. What do you wear to sleep? Pj pants and a tank top. How many keys do you carry with you? One. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah. Sometimes Dad and I would go to hockey games together. I don't really care for sports, hockey included, but it was still something we bonded over since I was normally in the living room on the laptop while he was watching it. Which do you value more, intellect or work ethic? Work ethic. Both are important, but I'd rather have a dedicated, worthy employee versus a lazy one that just happens to have brains. Have you ever been covered in mud? Yes, as a kid. Ever been to a cabin on a mountain? No, but omG I fucking wish. Ever lost your voice? Yes. Do you take your time when making an important decision? I take way too much time because I obsess over doing the right thing. Are you a cautious person? Very. Do you chew gum? Sometimes. What makeup product do you never use? A lot, really. Bronzer is literally never, I haven't touched blush in forever, and the same goes for foundation. Have you ever been offered drugs on the street? No. Have you ever seen a jellyfish? Only at aquariums. Do you ever put bread in your soup? UGH, NO. Bread should NOT be soggy. Do you want some soup? No, I don't even really like soup. Is there anything in the USB key slots in your computer/laptop? Yeah, the sensor thing for my wireless mouse. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? I don't believe so; I'd certainly feel it and wake up. Have you ever done that to someone else? Pretty sure no. Is there any TV show you watch religiously? No. Do you like the window seat or aisle seat on an airplane? WINDOW. I hate the aisle seat, mainly because I get dizzy when I can't see outside for some reason? I really don't know how that works, but when I sit at the window and can see what the plane is doing, I don't get dizzy. I also really want to just stare outside as I listen to my iPod. Has anyone ever really insulted you? Yes. Do you ever make banana sandwiches? I have a peanut butter and banana sandwich rarely. What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? Probably Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Phil went HARD, y'all. Did your parents teach you how to cook/bake when you were growing up? There were rare occasions where I helped cook, but I never really learned. If you could own any three fictional objects from any book/movie/show, what would you choose? (does not have to all be from the same book/movie/show) Ohhh, interesting. I'm going to include games in this, because that's what I'm most informed in. ... And I'm still blanking. OH! Definitely a Dreamvisitor from Wings of Fire, as I think it'd be pretty cool or even useful to see into other's dreams and even communicate. The Obsidian Mirror from the same series would also be pretty cool, but also seems somewhat immoral to me, I guess, to be able to spy on others. I mean it could be useful in some cases, but still. I somehow can't think of a third one, even after expanding my options to games. A lot of game objects are just too specific to their fantasy universe and not helpful in real life. What’s the shortest amount of time you’ve worked somewhere? Not even two hours lmaoooo. Have you ever negotiated a pay raise? No. Have you ever been a victim of identity theft? No. Do you know anyone who’s had their kids taken by Child Protective Services? No. What is your favorite smell/scent? Cinnamon rolls. How long can you run without stopping? I honestly don't think I *could* run without my knees immediately being like "um excuse the fuck out of you" and crumpling. What age do you want to live to? I know this varies from person to person, so I can't say an exact age, but I do. NOT. Want to live to where I'm a liability/require other people to take care of me, like give me a bath and stuff. No. Fuck-ing. Thank you. If you had a time machine, when would you go to? I'd honestly want a glimpse into my future, just to see how I'll be. At the same time though, I feel like knowing would suck if I saw something bad instead of a good life. Like, I'd possibly be suicidal again if it's just crap. I feel like if I was legitimately offered this, I would say no. Have you ever been infatuated with someone and you didn’t even know why? No. I think. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Is your more photogenic side your left or right? Well, because of how my hair is positioned, my left side. My hair is parted very far to the left, so the right side of my face is sorta cut diagonally by hair. Do you currently owe money to anyone? No. If you were ever to be on the news, what would you want it to be for? Something heroic, I guess. What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? Accidentally, probably up to like 80 on the highway. Have you ever donated blood? Have you ever done a blood test? I have to both. Have you been inside of a burning building? What happened? Z O I N K S no. Do you believe in astrology/horoscopes? Nope. Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant? No. Have you been in a car accident? What happened? Yes. Some idiot was carrying wood in the back of his truck, and it wasn't secured whatsoever. He hit a bumpy spot, and some of the wood dropped to the road, and he began to swerve out of control. Nailed the side and bumper of my mom's car. Mom drove into a ditch, but in some manner to avoid us flipping over, which judging from the impact point, cops theorized was "supposed" to happen. Nowadays I am terrified to ride or drive behind trucks carrying anything in the back. Have you ever lived alone? No. Have you ever been stung by a bee? Once, on my leg. Have you ever bought stuff at a thrift store? Yeah, I love thrift shops. What was your very first email address? The one I still use now, so I won't share it. It fits me well, but I still hate sharing it, haha. It's just not very "adult-ish." How often do you take naps? Just about every day. Have you ever won a game of pool? Idr. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life? NOOOOOOOOOOO. Have you been in a long-distance relationship? Yes. Have you swam in the ocean? Yeah, I love it. Have you gone ziplining? No, but it'd be cool! Have you been rock climbing? No, just those mock walls at school field days and stuff. Have you hitchhiked? No. Have you had stitches? Where? My chin and then at the very base of my spine. Have you ridden in a taxi? What about an Uber/Lyft? None of those. Have you ridden on a horse? Not legit, but at childhood festivals where there are some horses that walk in a circle... the poor things. I would LOVE to ride a non-restrained, tame horse. Ugh, I wish I could have a horse in general. Their ability to bond with humans is magical. I'll never actually have one, though. I could nooot do all the care they require, and I don't plan on living somewhere where having a horse is appropriate. Have you taken part in a protest? What for? No, just boycotting. Have you ever signed a petition? Yes. I can't remember all of them. Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? No. Have you ever given someone else a haircut? No. What is the longest your hair has been? Just past the small of my back. Have you ever been stranded because your car broke down? No. Thank god for phones, lol. Have you performed on stage? What did you do? Yes, for school band concerts as well as dance recitals. Have you ever used a tanning bed? What about tanning spray? No. How do you prefer to celebrate your birthday? Just quiet and chill with my family, but still give me alone time, please. Who is the best cook that you know? /shrug Do you believe in Bigfoot? What about the Loch Ness Monster? The Loch Ness Monster I don't, but I find surviving sasquatches very possible. There's just too many reported sightings to be totally ignored. I'm not 100% on them still being around, though. I feel like we would've caught one by now. Do your friends tend to be male or female? Female. If you could change anything about human nature, what would it be? Our proclivity to violence when angered. Have you ever fainted? Yes. What skills would you like to learn? Cooking, how to handle money in various contexts, social skills... There's a lot of things. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Meerkats, for sure. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I don’t. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? No. Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. Do you have a favourite outfit that you like to wear for nights out? I don't have "nights out." When you have a soft drink, do you prefer it in a bottle or can? I like cans because the metal helps it stay cold. Who was the last person to embarrass you? What did they do? I don't know. When you’re upset, do you tend to comfort eat or lose your appetite? I am a BAD comfort eater. Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? Does/did that person go to the same school as you? My online friend Sammy. No. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? No. When was the last time you used a public toilet? Ummm I think for my birthday lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? Jason has brown eyes. Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? That '70s Show and especially Supernatural.

[color-coded-bear]

This ain’t my art blog, but these doodles are for my AU so I���m posting them here instead. These doodles are mostly from before the time travel stuff started. Also, Michael’s human design isn’t set in stone and it may or may not change next time I draw it.

Now here’s some more ideas and stuff for the au.

Michael ended up choosing the name Em because he panicked when asked what his name was and the first thing that came to mind was the letter M. People ended up interpreting it as Em and he just rolled with it because it’s better than just M.

Originally, he wanted nothing to do with the time god and time travel. He was perfectly happy with his life, and he did Not like how the book called his timeline wrong. He spent a while trying to get rid of the book (throwing it out, destroying it, trading it away, etc) but no matter what he did, it always came back.

Eventually, Time said ‘enough’ and paid Em a visit in his dreams, and tried to talk him into being the Champion. And while Em was having none of it at first, he cracked when Time (being the bastard they are) brought up his family. “You’d be able to save them.” He froze, and a familiar heaviness squeezing in his chest. He knew what they were saying, what they were trying to do. He shouldn’t take the bait. He should ignore them, keep insisting he doesn’t want to be their champion. But the memory of his parents and their soft smiles and warm arms makes him hesitate. “Not only them either.” He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. “...What do you mean?”  “Your uncle. He’s faced many hardships, even passing through Death’s domain at one point. If given the chance, wouldn’t you wish to keep him from having to experience such a thing?” Fuck. Fuck this god and fuck them for bringing his family into this. Time smiled, seeming to know that they’ve gotten him.

Before time traveling, Em had a habit of sneaking out and going wherever. It was during one of his many times sneaking out that he caught Time’s attention and found the book.

Sneaking out is the main reason Em would ever get in trouble.

When Em first found the time travel book, it still looked like how it had when it belonged to Karl (the square, purple swirl on the center), but it changed once it became Em’s (the ender eye specifically. Em was the one who wrote “DO NOT READ” on it)

Techno and Phil are also Champions (of Blood and Death respectively), so when Em is chosen as Time’s Champion, they’re the first to learn of it because champions can usually recognize other champions. (i’m figurin out this whole champions thing alongside this au and it’s plot)

[vengeancedemons]

devil hit his second stride // self para (pt 1)

summary: In Hell, Robbie runs into a familiar face who convinces him to stop wallowing in self pity and make a move to stop his uncle from ripping his life to shreds. trigger warnings: hell, death, mentions of violence  featuring: robbie reyes, phil coulson, mentions of elias morrow, gabriel reyes, daisy johnson ( @daisyquakes ), and jessica jones ( @goddamndumbass ) word count: 4320 no one SAY ANYTHING

There were a lot of metaphors about Hell, a lot of famous quotes invoking the word. Robbie had read up on them after his death and subsequent resurrection, studied them as if they might somehow hold answers to what happened to him. Churchill famously instructed those who were going through Hell to keep going. Twain once quipped that one should go to Heaven for the climate, but Hell for the company. Sartre claimed that Hell was other people. Robbie had gathered a whole collection of quips and quotes, a whole world of things writers and politicians and activists said were Hell, because he’d known the deal he’d made to save his own life only had one end result and he’d wanted to be prepared. He’d been an idiot, in that regard. 

There was no preparing for Hell.

There was no making it easier. You couldn’t “keep going,” no matter how easy Churchill made it sound. You didn’t enjoy the company the way Twain joked that you might. The other people Sartre had feared were just as lost, just as tortured, just as absorbed in the terribleness of it all as you were. No metaphor Robbie had come across had managed to do justice to the real thing. Hell was Hell. There was no other way of describing it, no way of putting it into terms the average person would understand. You either knew it or you didn’t. You’d either been there or you couldn’t possibly imagine it. And Robbie could imagine it well. 

It was different, this time around. The last time (the last two times, rather), he’d at least gone out on his own terms. He’d chosen to exit stage left with Eli’s shoulders gripped in his hands. He decided to take the Darkhold back to where it belonged even if that meant he’d wind up where he belonged, too. And the people he’d cared about hadn’t been left in the best positions, but at least he’d known they’d be okay. He’d known Daisy would look out for Gabe, had known that Coulson would keep an eye on the SHIELD agents he’d begrudgingly come to tolerate. There hadn’t been an awful lot to fear.

This time was different.

With Eli running around in Robbie’s skin, there was no overselling the shitstorm that was waiting for the people he cared for. Daisy, who’d taken up residence on his couch the last few months, would be a burden Eli wouldn’t want to put up with. Jessica, who was almost a friend as much as someone you’d once nearly plowed over with your car could hope to be, would be an inconvenience his uncle wouldn’t want to deal with. And Gabe… It was too much to hope that Eli would leave Gabe out of things. It was too much to wish that his brother might remain blissfully ignorant in L.A. while their uncle wreaked havoc in New York. Whatever Eli had planned, Gabe would undoubtedly be caught in the crossfire the same way he had the night of that street race, when the Fifth Street gang saw Eli’s car and open fired with no regard for who was actually inside. And Robbie was powerless to stop any of it.

Shit, he was worse than powerless. The last time he’d been in Hell, he’d at least had the limited protection of the Rider keeping him out of the worst of it. It meant giving up control more often than not, but it made him relatively difficult to harm. Just like on Earth, the Rider had protected Robbie from damage in Hell. He’d made sure Robbie won most of the fights he got into, ensured that anyone who fucked with them had a generally bad day. Eli made sure Robbie was without that protection this go around, and that must have been intentional in more ways than one. His uncle had wanted the power of the Ghost Rider, beyond shadow of a doubt… but he’d also wanted to make sure Robbie was without it. And he’d absolutely succeeded in that.

You couldn’t die in Hell. Robbie figured that out his very first day, when he’d looked down at his chest to see a blade sticking out of it, rusted and bloody. You felt every ounce of pain dealt out to you, felt the way your heart tore itself to shreds as it beat around metal, felt your lungs fill up with blood and dust until there was no room left to breathe, but you couldn’t die. It was like one of the shitty video games Gabe used to play --- you bled, you ached, you faded away, and you popped back up someplace else to do it all again. Death would have been far easier. Anything would have been easier. Everyone there knew it.

It was why he’d also learned another important lesson his first Rider-less day in Hell. He’d learned about a rumor, a legend that desperate souls accepted as truth because there had to be some kind of end to all of this. It was a Fifth Street goon who’d blurted it out to him, a man terrified of Robbie who’d never even met the Rider. (Robbie had taken care of plenty of gang members without the Devil making an appearance at all, in the early days. There had been so much anger and nowhere to put it. It was inevitable.) 

‘There’s a story,’ the man had said, practically blubbering at the mere sight of the man who had taken his life. ‘If you take out the guy who killed you down here, you get out. You get to move on.’ 

‘Move on to what?’ Robbie had demanded, but the man hadn’t known. All he had known, all he had heard was that removing the person responsible for your presence in Hell from its depths meant a ticket to someplace else. And everyone figured that nothing could possibly be worse than this. 

So they fought. They beat each other to death only to yield no result when the person they were trying so desperately to remove appeared again out of their reach, breathing oxygenless through deceased lungs. It was utterly pointless and they knew it, but it was the only thing they knew how to do. It was the Fifth Street member who’d told him the legend that taught Robbie what happened when you died in Hell, putting a sword through his back the moment he turned away and shrugging unapologetically when Robbie turned back to him. ‘I just had to try it,’ the man said, ‘just once.’ And the expression on his face made it clear that whatever he’d hoped would happen wasn’t happening and Robbie had died and come back for what wasn’t the first time and certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Robbie didn’t know if the legend had a grain of truth to it. For him, he didn’t guess it mattered much either way. He couldn’t get rid of the person responsible for sending him to Hell, and it wasn’t because his uncle was out of reach. No, Robbie couldn’t get rid of the guy responsible for his current predicament because it wasn’t Eli at all. The only person Robbie had to blame for his presence in the underworld was Robbie. He was the one who sold his soul to the Devil for a prize he’d already won. He was the one who’d been clueless to the fact that his uncle was being driven mad right in front of his eyes. He was the one arrogant enough to believe he could make a quick day trip to Hell and pluck a soul from damnation without facing any kind of consequence. The worst person in Robbie’s life, the one responsible for every goddamn shitshow he was a part of, had always lived in the fucking mirror. He’d always known that.

And so, with no way of knowing what was going on up above and no hope of finding his way out of Hell any time soon, he focused on survival. He focused on dying as little as possible, on staying away from the Fifth Street gang members he’d gifted with all-expense-paid tickets to Hell and avoiding Lucy Bauer and her gaggle of scientists whose ghosts he’d torn from their places on Earth and keeping distance between himself and all the trash he’d taken out since the Rider brought him back from the dead. Some days, he did okay. Some days, he bled out a hundred times an hour. It was a matter of luck more than anything else. 

Today, he was doing all right. The safe spot he’d found would be burned by tomorrow --- news of people’s whereabouts traveled quickly in Hell, especially when the person in question was one that large groups of souls were seeking out --- but for the moment, his feet were on solid ground and his blood wasn’t spilling from his veins. He didn’t know how long he’d been here. Time moved differently in Hell, crawled by one moment and sped up the next. His first go-round, he’d tried to keep count. He’d tallied up what he’d thought might have been days in his head, counted them into months and years. By his count, he’d been in Hell nearly a hundred years then, but when he got back to Earth he’d found only months had passed. He hadn’t bothered counting when he brought the Darkhold back. His high school teachers might have frequently assigned him the title of slow learner, but he could take a lesson when it was obvious and this one was. Time in Hell was relative. 

And there was no sense counting it up when you knew it wasn’t going to end.

It was a realization he’d come to rather quickly, after Eli tossed him out. He went from fighting a battle in the back of his own mind to staring out at all-too-familiar fiery slopes, and he’d known in an instant that this was how things would be for him now. No one could be lucky enough to escape Hell three times, especially now that he didn’t have Ghost Rider’s powers to fall back on. This time, Robbie figured, he was here to stay. 

So he focused on the moment in front of him. He focused on the fact that, today, he wasn’t fighting off old enemies, wasn’t killing the same people over and over again or dying so many times that he barely had enough time to draw breath between one slaughter and the next. And he was wound tight and jumping at the slightest sound, but so was everyone. That was a side effect of Hell, and there was no shot at ever avoiding it. 

It was lucky, he supposed, that he stopped to look before putting the blade he’d stolen off an old New York City gang member through the chest of the person who walked up behind him. Most days, Robbie wouldn’t have bothered. After so long in Hell, he’d lost any hope that anyone he met wouldn’t strike him down where he stood. But this time… This time, the familiar face that greeted him wasn’t one of the gang members he’d taken out in New York or L.A. It wasn’t the ghost of some scientist who’d worked with his uncle, wasn’t a wannabe supervillain with a justified grudge. It was, perhaps, a man whose death Robbie was still responsible for, but not one who would kill him for it. 

Robbie’s shoulders dropped at the sight of him, grip slackening on the switchblade he’d been white-knuckling. He closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing thickly before letting them slide back open to reveal that the figure was still there, still watching him with inquisitive eyes. They stayed like that for a moment, a pair of ghosts staring into eyes they’d thought they’d seen the last of, each waiting on the other to make the first move. Finally, Robbie shifted enough to make room for another body to sit on the ground beside him, and his newfound companion moved forward to take the silent invitation.

“I’d heard you were back,” Coulson said quietly. “Didn’t want to believe it.”

“Yeah, well,” Robbie sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face, “seems like I’ve got a hard time staying away.”

“Haven’t heard anything about the other guy popping back up,” Coulson prodded, and Robbie tasted bile in the back of his throat, which was stupid. There was no bile in his stomach, no food that could threaten to make its way back up. He hadn’t eaten since a slice of cold pizza Daisy left on the counter just a few hours before Eli made his presence known, and while he hadn’t been keeping track of the hours he knew there were a hell of a lot of them between now and then. 

“It’s just me this time,” he said, tasting ash in his mouth with the words, because Coulson would want to know why. He would want to know how, and if he asked, Robbie was going to tell him. Robbie would blurt out everything, everything, and while Coulson might not hold what happened to him after he let the Rider into his head against Robbie, he knew the man would never forgive him if anything happened to Daisy. And right now, in this moment? Robbie couldn’t promise that she was okay.

“Is it like what happened before?” Coulson pressed, because, in spite of his unassuming outward appearance, he was still a spy. He was still one of the best agents SHIELD had ever had, and Robbie was still a fairly shitty liar. “It went into someone else, like it did with Mack?”

Robbie couldn’t look at him. He kept his eyes down on his hands, on the stolen switchblade with blood rusting the metal. He couldn’t remember now if the blood was there when he got it or if he’d put it there himself. He didn’t think it made much of a difference. “Not exactly,” he replied after a long pause, because Coulson would read a silence just as easily as a lie. 

Another silence stretched between them, a canyon of stillness as Coulson looked at Robbie and Robbie looked anywhere else. “Robbie,” Coulson said, his voice somehow firm and gentle at the same time, and Robbie had never been the sort of person who held his heart on his sleeve but fuck, it took every ounce of strength in him not to cry. 

Coulson, he realized with the smallest ounce of hysteria in his thoughts, sounded like what he’d always figured a father might sound like. He was nothing like Alberto Reyes, who’d walked out long before Robbie had a clear picture of his face saved into memory. He was nothing like Elias Morrow, who’d been more than willing to send Robbie to Hell for his own selfish gain. Coulson was the closest thing Robbie had seen in his life to a decent goddamn father figure, and what had Robbie shown him in return? He’d gotten him sent to Hell.

He’d probably gotten Daisy killed. 

Robbie felt very cold all of a sudden, a shiver going down his spine. Eli said once that there was meaning to that, joked about it when Robbie was a child getting used to having an uncle where he’d once had a mother and father. That means someone is walking over the place where you’ll be buried, he’d said, feigning seriousness until Robbie’s eyes widened and he couldn’t hold back a laugh. Robbie always wondered if it was true. He wondered what his grave would look like now, if he’d have one. Was a grave yours if the body in it hadn’t belonged to you, in the end? Were you still a person if someone else was walking around in your skin? At what point did a man become a ghost?

“It was Eli,” he said, so sudden it surprised even himself. “It was… When you saw us, before, me and Daisy, Eli followed us out somehow. He hitched a ride inside my head. Rode around up there for months until he had the strength to…” Robbie trailed off, that phantom nausea tugging at his gut again, compelling him to expel food he hadn’t eaten from a body he didn’t have. “He kicked me out. He’s running around up there in my skin, with my face, with --- With the Rider in my head with him. And I don’t, I don’t know how to stop him. I don’t think I can stop him.”

The sea of information settled between them, and Robbie could swear he saw the words floating in the air, fading in and out of existence as Coulson processed it all. He didn’t know if the shock on the agent’s face was because of the tale he’d spun, the fact that it was more words than he’d probably ever heard Robbie say in one sitting, or some mixture of the two. The silence was a heavy one, a weight on his chest that he didn’t know how to breathe around. And he didn’t need to breathe down here, not when he was already dead, but he still felt as if he was suffocating. When he tore his eyes from the switchblade to risk a glance in Coulson’s direction, the man was looking at him with an unreadable expression and Robbie wondered if he might break his day-long streak of not being covered in his own blood. And god, he would have let him. If Coulson tried to take the knife from his hand and drive it through his fucking skull in that moment, Robbie would have let him. 

Finally, Coulson shifted, breaking the silence with the question Robbie had known was coming. “Does Daisy know?” And even though he’d known Coulson would ask, it was a punch to the goddamn gut. Robbie closed his eyes again, letting his head drop. He would have preferred the knife to the skull, he thought. He would have preferred anything else.

“I don’t know,” he replied, so quiet he wasn’t sure Coulson would be able to hear it. He wasn’t sure he wanted Coulson to hear it, wasn’t sure he wanted the other man to know. Robbie had failed Daisy, and he didn’t even know how deep that failure went. He didn’t even know if she was alive right now, didn’t know if Eli would try to fool her or if he’d kill her the moment she walked into the apartment. At one point, he might have liked to think he knew his uncle well enough to predict his next move, but now? Now, Robbie wasn’t sure he’d ever known Eli at all. He’d never taken Eli for a murderer, but he was one. He’d never taken Eli for a narcissist, but he’d nearly gotten his entire fucking family killed in order to pursue his own selfish goals.

He’d never believed Eli was capable of hurting him, but he’d sent him to Hell without a hint of hesitation. 

There was a sound off to the side, a quiet click of Coulson’s tongue as he mulled the new information over, and Robbie wondered if this was the part where the knife would slip from his hand to Coulson’s, if this was where he’d die and respawn someplace else, ready to die again. He braced for a blow that didn’t come, prepared for an imaginary hit. Instead, Coulson sighed. Robbie opened his eyes, glanced over at the man cautiously. Coulson was staring at him, studying him intently as he chewed on the inside of his cheek, deep in thought. Finally, he broke the silence with a question: “So what are you going to do about it?”

Robbie blinked, eyes wide as the words settled into his head. He opened his mouth and closed it. Once, twice, three times. Finally, he spoke, and the confusion was clear in his tone. “What?”

“What are you going to do about it?” Coulson repeated, and the words made just as little sense this time as they had before because what? Robbie was in Hell. He had no access to Earth, no way of knowing what was happening there, and certainly no way to stop it. He didn’t have a plan because he had no options. 

“What can I do about it?” He asked, incredulous. 

Coulson quirked a brow, looking so utterly unimpressed that Robbie had to run through his story again in his head, had to look for the parts he’d missed in his situation that made Coulson believe he had anything resembling options here. He came up short, again and again. If he had choices, he had no idea what they were. And still, Coulson looked like he was missing something obvious. 

Finally, the agent seemed to take pity on Robbie with a sigh, shaking his head. “Robbie,” he said patiently, sounding very much like a man preparing to explain something simple to a particularly stupid toddler, “your body is still your body. Isn’t it?”

“I… guess so?” Robbie wasn’t sure what he was getting at, didn’t know what this had to do with anything. His body was still his body, but it wasn’t accessible. It was up on Earth and he was down in Hell and it wasn’t like there was an express train he could take to get back to it.

“And it’s still alive,” Coulson pushed, and Robbie tilted his head to the side, still not understanding the relevance. 

“I don’t think it would do Eli much good to kill it,” he allowed, because that would really defeat the purpose of whatever Eli had planned. Besides, Robbie didn’t think the Rider would let his body die, even if Robbie wasn’t in it. The guy needed something to hitch a ride in, didn’t he?

“So your body is alive,” Coulson continued slowly, “and your soul is alive.��

“Is that what we are?” Robbie questioned. “Souls?” He’d never given it much thought before and, given Coulson’s expression, it wasn’t a conversation they had time for now, either. 

“I don’t think you understand the point,” Coulson said which, fair. Robbie definitely didn’t understand the point of whatever it was Coulson was getting at, but whose fault was that? Coulson was the one being a cryptic old bastard, as if SHIELD and its shitty secrecy was an important thing in Hell. Robbie sighed, shaking his head and motioning for Coulson to just come out and say whatever obvious thing he was missing. “If your soul is alive and your body is alive,” Coulson said, finally taking enough pity on Robbie to spell the damn thing out, “that means you’re alive, Robbie. You aren’t dead. You’re just lost.”

“I’m not lost,” Robbie argued, because he was nothing if not contrary. “I know exactly where I am. I’m in Hell, Coulson. What’s it matter if my body’s alive if I can’t get to it.” 

“Have you tried?”  Coulson sounded angry now and Robbie remembered that, while he sounded fatherly in the way none of the men in Robbie’s life ever had, he wasn’t Robbie’s father. He was a guy who’d found Robbie at a strange time in his life and offered him guidance he hadn’t known he’d needed, but he wasn’t his father. If Coulson was a father figure to anyone, it was the person up on Earth with the body he was demanding he try to find a way back to. Fathers, when they were decent, protected the people they cared for. And right now, for Coulson, that wasn’t Robbie.

It was Daisy. 

And Robbie got it. He really did. If it had been Gabe in trouble, he’d be angry too. He’d be chastising whoever he was with and demanding they do something, but what was there to be done? “People don’t just walk out of Hell, Coulson,” he snapped.

“Didn’t you do that?” Coulson retorted. “Multiple times?”

“Yeah, with a demon in my head and a chain that could open portals to other dimensions. You see either of those things laying around now?”

“What if I had a way?” 

Robbie’s head snapped up, and he searched Coulson’s face for any hint of humor and came up short. “You got a way out of Hell,” he repeated slowly, “and you… What? Waited ‘til now to bring it up?”

“I have a rumor,” Coulson amended, and that made more sense. Rumors were like currency down here. They passed from person to person, gained value where they went. Everyone was looking for an out of some kind or another, but no one had ever found one.

“Rumors are usually bullshit,” Robbie pointed out, looking back down to his switchblade and twirling it in his fingers absently. “Plenty of rumors about ways out, but I never heard of anybody actually making it. You know why that is?” He paused, though not long enough for Coulson to answer before he provided the answer all his own: “Because the rumors are fucking horseshit.” 

“Or because the wrong people are trying,” Coulson countered. “Look, this rumor says it’s a door. The only people who can pass through it are people who shouldn’t be here. Like, for example, someone living?” 

“Or a good man who didn’t earn his spot,” Robbie replied, the realization springing on him all at once. “Shit, Coulson, if this thing’s real…”

“We could both get out,” Coulson confirmed with a nod. Robbie sucked in a breath through his teeth, weighing their options. If it were just him with a shot to get out of Hell, he wasn’t sure he’d take it. The thought of getting his hopes up just to have them dashes was somehow worse than the idea of never trying at all. But if this could mean a second chance for Coulson, too…

Robbie looked up, a newfound determination in his eyes. “Well, shit,” he sighed, shaking his head. “What do we have to lose?”

[bonafidehero]

Bella the Teenage Witch

Summary:  What if Bella Swan was a witch? Taking advanced classes, Bella graduates from Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry early. With her mother and Phil traveling so much she decides to move to the sleepy town of Forks and spend some time with her father, who insisted on her attending the local high school to make some "normal" friends. Oh how wrong he would be.

Read on AO3 and FanFiction!

Chapter 3: Slip ups

The week had gone by in a blur. After that weird shit with Edward and then the following days where he didn’t show up for school I was feeling really self conscious and just couldn’t wait for the weekend.

Mike had tried to invite me out to a movie but I’d turned him down, saying I had a lot of studying to do. Jessica and Angela had also offered to hang out but again I declined.

I was feeling really overwhelmed and just wanted to be alone. Even though I’d seen so much with going to a magical school and experienced everything that came with that. I was feeling like regular old high school was kicking my ass.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about Edward. What the hell was that? Why did he act like that? Then disappear?

I don’t even know why it was bothering me so much. Usually I didn’t care what people thought, because people usually thought horrible things.

But I just had a weird feeling about him. He seemed... different.

Besides the inhuman good looks.

So I spent the weekend at home, Charlie had given me money to stock the house with groceries as I’d refused to continue eating take out every night. I’d spent some time unpacking the few things I’d brought with me. I even went on a walk through the woods that surrounded my house to find a spot to read for a afternoon.

Overall it was pretty good.

So by the time Monday rolled around again I felt ready to face Forks High again.

This week would be better.

And I was going to confront Edward and ask him what his problem was.

I’d arrived a bit early Monday, the parking lot was about half way full and kids were spaced about in groups talking.

Wanting to enjoy the silence while I had some, I got out and leaned against the back of my truck and began looking through the book I’d been reading all weekend.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a car pull in and park about 5 spots down from me. It sat there for a minute before the occupants got out.

And of course It was the Cullens. Surprisingly, Edward was with them. They all stood behind the car talking, then they all turned towards me and stared.

Great. Now they all don’t like me. I thought.

What did I do?

But before I could think on it more something smacked me right in the face. I gasped and turned towards the source; Mike was laughing while Jessica, Angela, Ben and Eric shook their heads behind him.

“Bella!” Mike called

I rolled my eyes, looked down and saw a balled up piece of paper. I bent over and picked it up before throwing it back at him. Surprisingly, it hit it’s mark.

Mike blinked before bursting out laughing and the whole group joined him, “C’mon, Bella!” Eric called as they all began to make their way towards the school.

I sighed and put my book back in my bag before slinging it over my shoulder. I chanced another glance at the Cullens, they were still staring.

What the fuck? I thought

I was starting to think I was the freak, which, I guess to some I was.

A magic freak. I laughed and followed slowly behind the group towards the school. Not chancing another look back at the strange group.

The day went by pretty good and I was finally feeling like I was stepping in line with my new friend group. While Jessica was the complete opposite of me, Angela felt like someone I would had made friends with back home.

I was feeling happy. So when lunch came around I told myself I would not look at the Cullens once.

Who cares if they didn’t like me?

Not me.

Even when Jessica tried to bring up the fact that Edward was finally back at school, I ignored her and changed the subject to the latest America’s Next Top Model episode. It worked. But I didn’t really know what I was talking about, I’d only saw it on tv quickly so I didn’t give much input into the conversation from there.

“Who's your favorite model?” Jessica gushed.

“Uh, I actually don't really know the show.” I said slowly, “I just saw it on TV and thought you'd like it.”

Jessica stared at me for a second but recovered quickly, “Oh... what do you like then?” She asked

“Uh, nothing really comes to mind. I haven't seen much recent TV.”

“Why not?” Angela asked, “What did you do in Arizona to pass the time?”

I blanked. These were time when me being a witch really made me stand out to other kids my age.

“Uh, well... the thing is, I went to a boarding school for the past 4 years so...” I said slowly, how much should I say? “Well, it's pretty old fashioned. We didn't have TV's or any electricity for that matter.”

They all stared at me, stunned.

“They didn't have electricity?” Jessica shrieked scathingly, “What kind of a school doesn't have electricity?”

“Did they have running water?” Mike laughed, “I thought rich schools were like the best of the best.”

“It wasn't a rich school and I don't know... its a really old school... it, uh, they like to give you an experience.” I stumbled horribly over my shitty explanation. God, I was not used to having to explain myself to people.

Jessica stared at me, “That sounds really weird. Why would you go to a school like that?”

I tried to quickly think of a reason, I think it was pretty well known around the town how much of a wild child my mom had been. I cringed at what I was about to say but I knew my mom would understand.

“Well, my mom wanted to travel a lot so she sent me there during the year so she could.” I said quietly, trying to sound like it was something I hated.

“Wow, what a bitch.” Jessica blurted out, before her eyes snapped to me. “Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.”

I chuckled, “No, it's cool.”

By the end I said my goodbyes to the group and Mike and I made our way to Biology.

As we walked down the hall towards class slowly, I realized that Edward was following behind. I tensed.

“So,” Mike started, “How was your weekend? I wish you’d gone to the movies with me. Would have been fun.”

“Huh?” I asked vaguely

“Your weekend, you said you were busy. What did you end up doing?” He asked, a little put off by my lack of enthusiasm.

“Oh, uh, studying like I said” I replied flatly.

I knew Mike had a thing for me, I wasn’t blind but I was already getting tired of it.

I was new, so it was kinda understandable. He’d get tired of it soon.

“Oh.” Mike said awkwardly.

I nodded, “Yeah, just that and unpacked all my stuff. Started reading a book.”

“Oh.” He said again, “That’s cool.”

He definitely didn’t sound like he thought it was cool. But I shrugged it off as we walked into the room. I could still feel Edward close behind us, why did I feel like he was trying to listen in?

Mike and I separated going to our respective tables. As I sat I saw Edward standing in the doorway, he stood there for a few seconds before taking a huge breath and then made his way towards his seat.

I looked down at the table top and began drawing aimlessly on my notebook, I didn’t want to attack him right away so I was gonna wait until he’d settled in.

Look casual, I thought.

He finally settled into his chair and pulled out his supplies, placing them gingerly onto the desk top. Sitting stiffly with his hands balled into fists on the table top.

Just as I inhaled to finally ask him what his problem was, he turned towards me and spoke.

“Hello.” He said in a friendly tone.

My head snapped up and I stared at him. Okay... I could feel my cheeks burning as we stared at each other. Why was I blushing?!

Just when I thought he wasn’t going to say anything else his velvety voice rang out again.

“My name is Edward Cullen.” He smiled, “I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan.”

How did he know my name? No one calls me Bella right off the bat.

“Uh, how do you know my name?” I spoke out loud finally, I could feel my nerves making my voice quiver a little. It was like he was a veela and he was pulling me in under his spell.

Fuck. This is embarrassing.

He laughed, “Oh I think everyone knows your name, the whole town’s been waiting for you to arrive.”

I cringed, I had to talk to Charlie about what he talked about with people. What if he slipped up about me being a witch?

“Um, I mean, why did you call me Bella?” I clarified.

His eyebrow quirked, “Would you prefer Isabella?”

“No!” I blurted out, my face heated again.

“I like Bella... I think Charlie calls me Isabella behind my back.” I said with a slight hint of distaste.

“Oh.” He looked away, looking slightly... embarrassed? Weird.

Then Mr. Banner started the class, we both turned to the front and set to work.

It was awkward, but with the start of our assignment we settled into line and actually seemed to start a little bit of banter. He was... odd, but kinda sweet? Why did I keep blushing?!

I even blushed as I thought that. Ugh.

The bell rang and chairs ground against the floor as everyone made their way to leave. I could feel that Mike was sitting in his sit waiting for me to move, hoping for another few minutes of alone time. Blargh.

Edward put his things in his bag and looked down at me as I did the same, “Uh, well, see you tomorrow, Bella.” He said quietly and then left the room quickly.

Mike pounced the moment he left. “Hey! Ready for gym?” he asked with a huge smile on his face.

I stared after Edward, “Uh, sure thing.” I said quietly.

I went home that day feeling much different about Edward Cullen. He was strange. Like he was hiding something. I mean, I was hiding something, but what would he be hiding?

I would have to try and pry a bit, see if I can get some hints. I’d spent the last 5 years in the wizarding world, I think if he was hiding anything worth hiding I would be able to figure it out.