#Also hey I will try my best to keep being better and drawing what I like... I'm just slower and more self-conscious about it

[imavikingo]

kinda personal (again)

The other day I was scrolling through ig reels and a dude talked about how you don't really need to know every single thing about anatomy to draw accurate/good proportioned bodies, but instead have a good sense of spatial awareness and... Fuck man. I don't have that.

I suck at it so badly in every sense of the word... Like I have had a ton of bruises for being clumsy and hitting myself with furniture or things. I often miss a step and fall of my ass (one memorable time I fell down the stairs like a turtle -bc I had a backpack- and couldn't stand up. Fun times). I also can't seem to draw things without having to check over and over with references (And I still can't get them to look right! And don't get me started at perspective or backgrounds. I've literally cried for/because of those fuckers. That's also why I get so weirded out/perfectionist/nitpicky about my own stuff. Because I can't seem to look at it with "normal" eyes. I've tried, it doesn't work). I often have difficulties with a lot of shit because of it and then some (yay for having a roomba brain, I guess).

And it's not something I can really get better at fast or without a lot of work and time (and patience! Something I also lack, because who has time for that. I need things like yesterday! Chop chop brain. And shit... I can't really wait for stuff man) sure I can have some cheats and help (and the delightful use of references, muaks) , but I can't get better at it in a timely manner (meaning now or soon and for forever. Because I constantly forget how to draw and how to paint and other stuff. It's a real struggle. Also for me to use references means to do a finished drawing and that means fatigue and suffering and nitpicking and self doubt). I never knew about this when I was younger and I never thought it was weird or a symptom of something else. I was always just clumsy, couldn't differentiate from left and right and drew weird proportioned bodies besides other "weird" shit. I didn't have a clue because people (adults) didn't have a real problem with my behavior or way of being because I was overall a good student/kid and had good grades and was mostly quiet (I don't blame them nor my parents, it's just weird to be like that since forever and suddenly realize I can't function like I should as an adult or that I have disabilities that have always been there. The chronic pain doesn't help either, but hey! I'm trying and my life is normal-ish so it isn't terrible. It's just annoying and difficult sometimes)

The point is!!! I'm shit at spatial awareness and I get frustrated because I want to be better at it without the constant fight and struggle!

[munson-blurbs]

Rockstar!Eddie x Childhood Best Friend!Reader

Summary: Eddie's got a new girlfriend, which means you get put on the back burner indefinitely. But there's only so much you can take.

WC: 2.1k

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, rockstar!Eddie, takes place around 1989, drinking/tipsiness, Eddie is an idiot, kinda insecure!Reader

--

Lena was beautiful. 

There was no denying that. You’d seen how beautiful she was the night Eddie had picked her from the crowd, dark makeup and denim miniskirt that ended mid-thigh. She walked backstage like she owned the place, with a confidence you could only envy from afar. 

You were used to it: Eddie would find a groupie, they’d hook up for the night, and then she was all but forgotten as Corroded Coffin moved to their next tour destination.

But not Lena. She’d been around for the last six months. Always touching Eddie, kissing him, drawing him in with her gorgeous eyes. She was everything he wanted, and she knew it.

You tried to get along with her and get to know her; after all, she was your best friend’s girlfriend. You asked her to grab a cup of coffee, to hang out at the mall, to get your nails done at the salon. All three times, she’d turned you down with some half-hearted excuse. 

And now she was here, at your birthday party. Her legs were draped over Eddie’s as they sat on the couch, his arm around her and her fingers in his hair. All you could focus on was his smile, that same dopey grin he used to give to Chrissy Cunningham whenever she’d give him an iota of attention back in high school. 

Eddie Munson was smitten, and he had no intention of hiding his feelings.

You downed your drink, the harsh taste of vodka burning your throat, and quickly poured yourself another one. What was the saying? It’s my party, and I’ll drink myself into a stupor if I want to? Something like that.

“Hey, Birthday Girl. You okay?” Gareth spoke up, yanking you from your thoughts. You hadn’t even realized he was beside you. “I haven’t seen you drink this much since the Grammys afterparty.”

You nodded, your head heavy with tears and liquor and lies. “Fine. Just…tired.”

Gareth scoffed. “Tired of watching Eddie and Lena tonguing each other, you mean?” Your wince betrayed your indifferent facade, and Gareth laughed softly. “Yeah, me, too.” He took a swig of his own drink and continued. “I mean, I get it. She’s hot as hell, but she’s also kinda–”

“Bitchy?” The word escaped you before you could stop it, another effect of the booze.

“You said it, not me.” Gareth raised his cup in a pseudo-toast. “But, yeah. Tour went from being about the band to being the Lena Show. And if you try to push back even a little, she just pouts and whines to Eddie that we’re being mean to her.”

You rolled your eyes. There was a freedom that came with confiding in Gareth, with no longer having to keep your feelings to yourself. “He used to call me at least once a week,” you say of Eddie, “and I figured that would change once he got a girlfriend. But the last time he called me was…two months ago.”

Could you even count that? It was just Eddie saying that the tour was good and that he’d be at your party–with Lena, of course. No silly stories from the road, no play-by-play of the shows, no begging for you to come see them again soon. It was as if you’d been a temporary placeholder until a better option came along.

And now, here she was, leaving red lipstick marks on his cheek. Staking her claim.

Eddie was never yours–not like that. Not in the way you wanted him to be yours. You’d been best friends since high school, and your crush had only blossomed from there. You were drawn to him the moment you saw him command the room during Hellfire, crafting and weaving a tale of a fantastical world with magnificent and terrifying creatures. It was as though you could see it right in front of you.

That storytelling talent extended to his songwriting. Sure, some of the songs were about the heartbreak that comes with being a teenager, but so many others were rooted in big problems: war, poverty, and the general injustices of the world. You were in awe of the way his eyes saw beyond the tiny borders of Hawkins.

Gareth slung an arm around you and pulled you close. Though you’d never told him about your crush on Eddie, he knew. All of Corroded Coffin knew—and probably all of the old Hellfire crew, too. Everyone but Eddie. 

“It’ll be okay,” Gareth murmured. “He’s an idiot. He’s always been an idiot, but with her, it’s amped up. Stupidity on steroids.”

You laughed at that despite the sadness brewing within you.

“Go enjoy your party. You deserve it.”

Heeding his advice, you pried yourself from the kitchen counter and over to some of the other guests. You managed to have fun, pushing away the nagging reminder of heartbreak just feet away. It got easier as the night went on—until it didn’t. 

“Baby,” you heard Lena whine. “This party sucks. I wanna go back to the hotel.”

Say no, you silently willed Eddie. Tell her that you want to stay. Tell her that she can leave, but you’re going to stick around and—

“Yeah, babe. We can go.”

Five words that anchored a pit in your stomach. He didn’t even consider an alternative option. Lena was his only priority. 

You blinked back the tears in your eyes as he said his half-hearted goodbye. Lena stood behind him, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Super fun party,” she drawled, donning a saccharine smile. “So sorry we have to leave early.” With that, she grabbed Eddie’s hand and led him out of your apartment. 

The rest of the night was a blur. Even as you ate birthday cake and talked with other guests, your focus stayed on the remnants of your friendship with Eddie. Of course dynamics changed when friends got partners. But to be completely iced out? That couldn’t be normal. It shouldn’t be normal.

You decided that night that you were done. The friendship was already beyond repair. It wasn’t Lena’s fault, though it would be much easier to blame her and keep pretending that Eddie was still the same thoughtful guy from Hawkins High. No, Eddie was the problem, and the solution was letting him go.

Weeks went by, then months, with no word from Eddie. The first few days hurt, your heart still convinced that he’d call and apologize for bailing on the rest of your party. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ that might spark a flicker of hope.

It got easier after a while. You filled your days with work and friends. When you heard a Corroded Coffin song on the radio, you simply changed the station without tears falling. And when Entertainment Tonight declared that “a young woman previously linked to Corroded Coffin frontman Eddie Munson was spotting cozying up to a more popular band’s lead singer,” you only chuckled and snapped off the TV.

The first call came a week later when you were at work. Your answering machine button flashed red, and you pressed play to hear the new message.

Hey, um, it’s me.

You froze, your blood icing over in your veins.

I know it’s been a while, but…a lot has happened. And I’ve been thinking, and I really wanna see you. Talk to you. I miss you. Um, the tour just finished, so I’ll be back in Hawkins. Let me know when you’re around.

Absolutely not. There was no way you’d talk to him again, and you finalized that decision by erasing the message.

But two days later, there was another one.

Hey, it’s me again. I was talking to Gareth, and he told me that I royally fucked up. Which I kinda knew, but hearing it from him…yeah.

Anyway, um, I don’t wanna just hang out–I mean, I do, but I wanna apologize first. In person, i-if that’s okay. I think my first message made it sound like, ‘Hey, let’s go grab a drink and bullshit around,’ but I want to say that I’m sorry. Shit, I’m rambling. Okay, I’m gonna go now. Bye.

And then another the day after that.

Okay, so, you don’t wanna meet up in person, and I get that. But I still want you to know how sorry I am, so I’ll just say it here, I guess. I never should have pushed you aside like that. I got caught up in everything with the band and the tour and…and her, and…y’know. That’s not an excuse or anything, just…explaining my series of fuck-ups. I miss you so much, and I wish we could just be friends again. I know it’s not that easy, but…fuck, I fucked this up. I’m really sorry, and you don’t have to forgive me–shit, Wayne’s home. I’ll talk to you later. Or, um, talk to your voicemail, I guess.

Wayne was home. That meant that Eddie was twenty minutes away from you, leaving voicemails from his uncle’s trailer. You grabbed your jacket, willing yourself to stay focused on the road as you drove to Forest Hills. That asshole wanted to talk to you in person, but couldn’t even stammer out a genuine apology over the phone?

You knocked on the trailer door so hard that your knuckles ached by the time Eddie opened it.

“Wha–did you get my messages?” His eyes widened as he took in the sight of you standing before him.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. “You mean the ones with your half-assed apologies? Yeah, I got ‘em.”

Eddie took a step back. “No, no, I meant them. I really am sorry.”

“Convenient how you found time to be sorry once your girlfriend started fucking someone else,” you seethed. “Couldn’t squeeze out a minute to call after you ditched me on my birthday, but you’ve got plenty of time to grovel now.”

“That’s not–she wasn’t good for me,” he supplied lamely.

You couldn’t help the snort you let out. “What, did she hold the phone hostage? Did she pick you up and carry you out of my party? You,” you jabbed your forefinger into his chest, “are the reason we don’t talk. Not her.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” You snapped. “Because I have a feeling that you think this is on Lena. And maybe she didn’t help, but she certainly didn’t force you to be a shitty friend.”

Eddie rubbed his palm over his eyes. “I know,” he repeated, the frustration evident in his tone. “I…I was a shitty friend. I never should have left your party early, and I should’ve stayed in touch with you. I should’ve listened to the guys when they warned me that you wouldn’t keep putting up with my bullshit for much longer.”

You felt a spark of reassurance that the other band members had stood up for you, but you kept your attention on what you needed to say. What you needed him to hear.

“And now what? You’re back in Hawkins, no groupies around to keep you company, so you figure it’s a good time to reach out to me?” You stepped closer to him as you spoke. “I’m not your back-up plan when your life comes crashing down. I’m a goddamn person, Eddie! And you just threw me away like our friendship meant nothing to you.”

He was silent for a few moments, his sweat sock-covered foot grinding into the carpet. His hair fell in front of his face, but you could still see him chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered his next words.

“Gareth told me…he told me that you liked me,” Eddie said softly. “Like…more than just a friend.” With trepidation, he looked into your eyes, tears forming in his own. “And he said I’m an idiot for not seeing what was in front of my face the whole time. A really beautiful woman who has always been there for me. Who never gave up on me, whether I was playing to five drunks at the Hideout or to sold-out stadium crowds.”

“Right. All of the things I’ve done for you. But what have you done for me? How have you been my friend?” You waited for him to respond, but he said nothing. “Exactly. I was just a groupie you never fucked.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped, and you couldn’t help but feel a wave of pride wash over you at his utter shock. “I’m–”

“I know you’re sorry. I got it.” You pivoted on one heel and turned your back to him, starting towards your car. Before you got there, you called out over your shoulder. “And if you leave me another pathetic voicemail, I’ll throw my answering machine through your window.”

Then you drove off, leaving him standing where you left him, just as alone as you’d felt all this time.

--

[boxbug]

A Canary’s Final Flight

My piece for @trafficzine 4th edition! Get it for free here! 200 pages of excellent art and fics, incredible work from all participants and from the mods especially!! huge shoutout to the mods for real

Process notes under the cut! (I struggled a lot so it's a bit of a novel)

So the entire process was a Ride. I knew when I picked this prompt that I was going to have a hard time, because Jimmy’s final death had been illustrated a billion times over by extremely talented artists. But I had a Vision of the snapshot of the second before the impact, when everything is still but you know what’s about happen. It was very much inspired by the clip of Fog by Jabberwocky, bu the thing is, they have the advantage of all the build up of the fall, and that’s when the trouble started.

This was my first version, and obviously it wasn't working. And I was trying so hard, with so many iterations! Small wings, big wings, no wings, different poses, less backgrounds elements. I'd done compositions were everything seemed peaceful but something is Wrong, but it wasn't working this time.

So instead I focused on what rendering I'd like to do - I tried a painterly approach, for that visceral feeling, but it wasn't working either (but hey, I did keep the red sky, so, progress)

At this point I'd been doing back and forths for weeks and I was just as lost as at the start. Now that's my tip for people who make art of any kind, in situations like that, stop thinking about how you can make the best piece possible, and think about you can have fun with it (because when you aren't it's visible). And for that was, 1 - going back to using ink and pen nibs and doing way too detailed inking, and 2- looking at Dave McKean's covers for Sandman (which, funnily enough, was also a reference for my previous trafficzine piece)

And from there I was actually going somewhere! Between the jagged rocks, the red sky, and the increased verticality with the borders, I had hit the vibes I wanted.

I did some experimentation with the border, and even though I really liked the bad boys I drew they were taking too much away from the lonely desolation, so I actually used Red (Unecessary Redstone)'s idea of all of Jimmy's worldy's possessions scattered on the ground post impact, with the idea to make it looks like the central image is his grave being dug.

(and yes for a short amount of time the were supposed to be clock markings on the sun, but there was already enough going with the wings so I scrapped that) (also fun fact the reason why the wings aren't fully material but more ghostly is because my toddler cousin was watching me draw the very first draft and asked why he didn't just use his wings and i went :( so the wings are a metaphor now)

So from there I found a bunch of picture and took some myself, cut and assembled everything together, added shadows in all the appropriate places, and repainted some elements so that everything would look better intergrated (some of the wheats are basically 100% handpainted, the cardboard as well). This took a suprisingly long amount of time, but I was done!

Well I wasn't expecting to have that much to say, but I hope if you're still reading, it was at least interesting!

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

TGCF couples at the beach

Because i want to go to the beach so bad rn

HuaLian:

Hua Cheng isnt too fond of the sun or the water but gege said he'd like to go so they're going.

Everything is fancy and luxurious, only the best for gege.

A large beach bed with a canopy, drinks and snacks served at all times, the whole nine yards.

He wears those fancy sunscreen lotions with foreign names cause he may be dead but he also burns easily and turns into a big baby about it.

Xie Lian insists they dont need to do all that and can just chill in the sand with a towel, which Hua Cheng finds preposterous.

They have a big ass umbrella over the canopy bed too cause the sun is a deadly laser.

So much affection - cuddling, kissing, being all sweet and lovey, feeding each other watermelon and gathering seashells

Theyre sickeningly sweet

Hua Cheng is able to keep his hands to himself for about 5 seconds max

If there are any noisy kids or families around, Hua Cheng sends Yin Yu to scare them off

(They take Yin Yu with for this express purpise but hey free all inclusive vacation, a win is a win)

Xie Lian never burns ever and refuses to wear sunscreen. Hua Cheng pouts about it because 1) dont want gege to get a sunburn and 2) cant teasingly rub lotion over him smh

Hua Cheng builds one of those fancy sand statues of Xie Lian and he thinks its the most romantic thing ever

It is

So many kisses in the water and swimming together all lovey

Hua Cheng is never seen not drinking a margarita

"You do not need to keep your swim trunks that low, San Lang." "Gege, tan lines are terrible."

BeefLeaf

SQX cant get He Xuan out of the water once they arrive to the beach. Nope. That is his habitat now. He belongs to the fishes.

SQX rents out beach chairs by the bar because how can one tan without a drink in hand?

Skimpy swimsuits because SQX also abides by the tan lines are the devil mentality

Manages to get He Xuan out of the water with the promise of ice cream

Talking shit about everyone around while eating ice cream and drinking martinis

So many seashells. He Xuan gives them to SQX as an offering aw

"XuanXuan you cant drown people that say indecent things about me!" "Who says" "the law??"

He Xuan brings SQX little fish he catches if they look colorful or pretty

"XuanXuan, put some tanning oil on my back!" And He Xuan spends like 10 mins trying to find the correct bottle because SQX brought like 50 and the tanning oil SQX wants looks like literally every other bottle there

So many selfies

He Xuan digs tunnels in the sand whenever he isnt in the water. SQX has to talk him into not using the Earth Master shovel

Theyre checking out hot people together

He Xuan puts on sunglasses to pretend he isnt staring at SQX

"XuanXuan you cant throw jellyfish at children!!"

SQX flirts their way into free drinks and He Xuan broods about it but also he is deeply in debt so he can't turn down free shit lmao

FengQing

Arguing, so much arguing, but hey thats their love language

"Thats a shit spot for a towel" "okay find a better one then" "here!" "Thats like a foot away whats the difference??"

Feng Xin refuses to put on sunscreen cause he thinks its not manly

"You cant beat the fucking sun, Feng Xin!"

Mu Qing refuses to get his hair wet. Feng Xin makes it a point to dunk him in the water at least once

Feng Xin falls asleep in the sun like an old man and Mu Qing draws dicks on him with sunscreen lmfao

They argue about who goes to get drinks and snacks and just end up going together

Feng Xin insists to exclusively drink beer until he tries one of Mu Qing's deadly cocktail combinations and hes hooked. He insists they add a little umbrella to his drink now so he and Mu Qing match

Sand castles competition turned chasing into the waves turned underwater kisses

Mu Qing judges everyone and Feng Xin cant help adding in to the commentary because its surprisingly entertaining

Beach sports! Theyre so competitive too so its extra fun and they make bets over everything

[ellecdc]

We need dating remus lupin general headcanons with YOUR wonderful writing. Please. 🫶🏻

I don't know if this is my best work - but hopefully this is what you were looking for. Thanks for being here with me <3

Dating Remus Lupin Headcanons

This man was completely oblivious to the draw he had on other people – including you. His quiet, sarcastic, mischievous but kind persona meant he had a lot of admirers that he never did anything about 

I fully believe Remus Lupin was the biggest flirt without necessarily realizing it (or if he did realize it, it wasn’t a conscious action - he really didn’t mean to be flirty, he just was)

Also don’t believe he knew how fuckin’ hot he was: denim jackets, oversized cardigans and knitted jumpers, converse, beanies - like he always looked so comfortable and casual but so put together despite of it?

Stealing his clothes is actually a dream of mine – his denim jacket with patches sewed on and a hole or two????? Need it

Curling up in one of his sweaters and warm socks by the fire? Fuckin’ hell 

His friends knew better than to ever try to (outwardly) set him up with anyone since he was so damn stubborn, so they would just happen to be in the library at the same time as you [the person they’d seen him bantering with in class time and time again] and also just happen to say hey and decide to catch up with you and then also just happen to sit at your table since they were already standing here talking to you anyway.

Forced library dates that neither of you really realized were dates, courtesy of his friends 

Remus caught on after a little while what his friends were trying to do, but didn’t mention anything in case you hadn’t realized yourself; he wouldn’t want to embarrass you

And welcome to the one thing we all sort of hate about Remus Lupin: he of course believed nothing would/could/should ever come about between the two of you

I believe him to be somewhat flighty – the second he realizes he’s falling for you, or, God forbid, realizes you’re falling for him – he hightails it 

Not for long though, I really don’t see James Potter letting him get away with that (Remus is stubborn so he gets ‘his way’ for at least a little before James forces the two of your out of your mutual misery)

I think you guys would grow closer and closer without ever actually saying anything about it:

Sitting beside each other would turn into leaning against one another

Leaning against one another would become the odd cuddle session 

Walking together to class would turn into a gentle hand on the small of your back guiding you through the castle (but also to keep you close) [this is that mentioned unknowingly flirty side] 

Hand on the small of your back would turn into his arm around your shoulder or your hand in his 

And he would prefer it this way, afraid that saying anything would make it too real (flighty), or, that you would deny having feelings for him and that would hurt in an entirely different way

You tried to be okay with it – to pretend that you were satisfied with whatever Remus was willing to give you because, come on, he was one of the most popular boys in school, he was the most well-liked Marauder, he was super smart and a powerful wizard, and he was so sweet to you.

But after a while, you couldn’t deny how much this unspoken space between you was weighing on you – particularly the somewhat routine periods where he’d completely shut you out

Was it you? Had you done something? 

Was he seeing someone else?

Were you just imaging this whole ‘thing’ between you?

He’d get increasingly agitated – almost like he simultaneously wanted you closer to him and further away from him; you’d never know how to help him in these moments

He’d speak more sharply to you, spoke less in general, and downplayed your friendship/relationship when other people would comment on it 

“We’re not even that close, we just study together sometimes” you head him say to Marlene McKinnon

“It’s not like that” he told Benjy Fenwick when he asked if you two were dating 

“She’s just a friend.” He’d said to Sirius, and that one hurt because why would he lie to his best friend? And what about you made it so difficult to see you as more than a friend?

Maybe you really had completely imagined the whole thing in your mind? Maybe he really didn’t care for you at all.

You began to pull away – less study dates, more excuses as to why you couldn’t meet up after class, sitting with Lily or Mary at quidditch games instead, staying at Hogwarts on Hogsmeade weekends – anything to avoid having to face the friend that you quickly realized you were halfway in love with who never even gave you a second thought

He did give you a second thought, though – in fact, he gave you a first thought as well as a third, fourth, fifth and sixth

“Do you think I did something to offend Y/N?” He asked James and Sirius one day – the two exchanged a knowing look 

“Why do you ask?” James asked with a smirk

“I think she might be avoiding me.”

“Does that bother you, Moons?”

Remus scoffed “of course it bothers me”

“I thought she was just a friend?” Sirius taunted

“Sod off...”

Remus couldn’t ignore it anymore – you weren’t just a friend. Never could be in his mind, he doubts. He would be your friend for the rest of your life if that’s all you ever wanted from him – but he’d probably always hold a candle for you; that’s why this divot you seemed to be carving between you two hurt like hell

He decides to do something very un-Remus like and face this head on (thoughts and prayers)

“Hey Y/N” he said gently as he approached your table in the library 

You seemed surprised at seeing him and started packing your things up

“Oh, hi Remus...” and the lack of your usual ‘hey Rem’ furthered his suspicions. “I was just finishing up, actually.”

“Have I done something to upset you?” He blurted suddenly. His assertiveness threw you off kilter – was he...talking? About feelings? You paused in your haste to pack your things

“No?” you said in the form of a question – you knew he picked up on it when the space between his eyebrows dwindled 

“Are you sure? I just feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately.”

You were starting to get frustrated. “What do you want, Remus?” You asked sharply. He winced.

“I just miss you, is all.” He admitted quietly as he played with a fray on his sweater between his tantalizingly long fingers.

“What exactly about me do you miss, Remus? You have plenty of friends; I hardly see how Sirius, James or Peter can’t fill the same role.”

He guffaws – actually guffawed! The bastard. “What are you on about?”

“What are you on about, Lupin? I’m tired; I’m tired of being called a friend while you keep me closer. I’m tired of feeling like I’m being played by arguably the most important person in my life. I’m fucking exhausted – so tell me exactly what you’re ‘on about’ Remus, and make it count because I’m done.”

“No! No, not done; don’t be done.”

“What do you want, Remus.” You whispered dismally. 

“You.” He whispered back

“Don’t fuck with me, Lupin.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at you a little bit. “I’m not. I’m not, I swear it – I’m sorry if you’ve felt played by me. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel anything but loved because... because I do – I love you.”

“Love me?”

“Love you. So much.” He professed as he dared to step closer to you. When you didn’t seem entirely averse to his proximity, he moved to close the gap – enveloping you in a long-needed hug. “I’m sorry.” He apologized again.

“You should be” you murmured petulantly from his chest.

He chuckled and pressed his lips to the top of your head “let me make it up to you?”

And he did – you spent that evening on the astronomy tower, enjoying the view of the stars as they melted into the forbidden forest along the horizon and the rest of the Hogwarts grounds – and he told you his secret, that he was a werewolf

You were the first person he willingly told – James, Sirius, and Peter just figured it out on their own and there was no hiding from them

You were the first person he chose to let in – so uncharacteristic of the lycanthrope, but that just went to show how serious he was about making it up to you and garnering your trust

This changed everything 

There was no more pushing you away near full moons, in fact – he got nearly downright territorial 

No one else was allowed to sit beside you – that was Remus’ spot

He was irritable and snappy with everyone, but instinctively melted at the sight of you

“I can’t believe we survived Moony all these years without Y/N – she’s like a sedative” Peter muttered as he picked up the cards Remus had thrown at him in a fit during their game of exploding snap. There was no sign of that Moony now – smiling down at you as you sat curled up in his lap like he had nowhere else he’d rather be

I believe Remus was the king of trinkets – his dorm was littered with little bits and bobs he found that he thought were cool/interesting

He started gifting you little things once you began dating 

An enamel pin that made him think of you 

A small pewter wolf 

A cool rock that he thought looked like the colour of your eyes (you didn’t see it, but who were you to argue?) 

Little themed snow globes

Flowers he found on his walks 

Pretty beads/crystals 

Tealight candle holders 

The ribbon from a box of chocolates he got from his mum that he thought you would like

Acts. Of. Service. This man didn’t come from money, the way he saw his dad spoiling his mum was through his actions – so this caring attitude came super naturally to him 

Fixing up your tea/coffee the way you like before you’ve even thought about it 

Carrying your bags/books for you 

“Your shoe’s untied, dovey. Give ‘er here.” He said as he patted his thigh for you to place your foot so he could tie it for you

If you got sick/under the weather, he’d totally do your homework for you (his friends have done the same for him due to the moons – pay it forward)

I think he’d be so soft and needy after a moon – just melt into whatever love and care you’re willing to show him; give you complete control and take care of him.

It may have been super hard to get Remus to give love a chance – but once you got it, you were stuck with him because he was not going anywhere 

Loyal to a fault 

He’s so afraid of losing good things that he’s willing (and desperate) to do anything and everything he can to keep it [i.e., you]

Thankfully, you make it very easy to do <3 

[bunnwich]

It's Supposed to Be Fun

(a letter to my friends in the twst fandom)

I've been wanting to make this post for a while and these thoughts may seem scattered but I’m gonna try to express them. 

Lately, I have seen many friends and moots that either are leaving the fandom or feel guilty over not having posted in a while or losing interest in twst. On the other side, I also have friends being harassed.

This a reminder to remember why you joined this community to begin with. I know that keeping up with the fast-moving pace of fandom and comparing ourselves to others, can skew our perspective on these things.

It’s supposed to be fun. 

Why do we post art or write? Sure, partly for recognition, there's no denying that. But, why do we create, I mean really? For enjoyment. Not for others, not to be “popular” FOR JOY.

So, whether you’re dealing with people critiquing you or feeling guilty about not creating. My question is this: Why waste so much of your time on something that makes you miserable?

Did it stop being fun? Why? Haters? Loss of interest?

To my friends who feel guilty for not creating and not sure if they lost interest in twst: 

Don’t feel guilty. At one time, the creation of your twst content was natural. It's what you did for fun with friends or for yourself. Revisit that mindset and think - if creating twst content now will bring that same joy it did before.

If the answer is no, then maybe it’s time to pivot. It’s okay for interests to fade. It doesn’t mean that time, memories, or the friends you made are lost. Connect with your friends, we will understand! We still love you! It's not a race there's no time limit, just pick up were you want to. Draw fanart of old events or OCs.

To my friends who have been harassed: 

I say this with sincerity…. People who harass others over fictional characters are fucking losers.

Like… There’s no other eloquent way to encapsulate it. I’m starting to not care for the reason anymore - If you harass or be shady to others over a ship or fictional character. CONGRATS! YOU ARE A LOSER.

We all join fandoms as a hobby, for fun. We’re all just kids in the sandbox playing pretend again… and if you are the type of person to go up just to “kick the doll out of someone’s hand" or make commentary on how “their way of playing is wrong." You’re a loser. I have a life outside of twst, we all do. Someone saying my ship is wrong or cringe is just so laughable to me. We have to make fun of these people more for being so goddamn lame.

Imagine being so unhappy that when you see someone having fun you HAVE to comment on it. By all means, if it gets you through the day...talk shit to close friends or even post about it on your own blog. (THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED.) Don't bother creators directly. Don't be a loser. I sure see tolerance leave people’s bodies when they see a fandom opinion they don't like. (And this is coming from someone who has lots of opinions on these things! But that's why I always put the disclaimers that, hey this is just MY opinion.)

Discussion is one thing, unhelpful comments are another. We shouldn’t give these people the time of day. Curate your online space. Yes, when you post things online you are subjecting yourself to scrutiny. But, we as creators need to stop letting these people have power over us. Period. We do this for free!! FOR FUN. The best thing you can do is create shamelessly.

Delete weird replies, block whoever you need to do to rid yourself of these people who have nothing better to do. Keep your peace. It’s supposed to be for fun. You don’t owe anyone a response.

The twst fandom is like a little family to me and I guess I feel protective over the people in it?  I have made many friends and memories because I joined it. And even dispite a handful of the negative experiences (AKA: A couple of “losers" that I’ve had to deal with.) I’ll always look fondly back on this time.

The key for me has always been to just…create for myself. I originally made bunnwich for me and one friend to make fun little arts about our Yuu’s and now I get to have lots of friends to share it with! I’ve transitioned from an OC blog to probably more of an Oc x Canon blog…but I don’t care tbh. I just…draw what I feel like. I know there are people who probably dislike me for that or feel strange about my content and that’s fine. I’m still gonna keep drawing it, loser.  

And I just want you guys to do the same, twst or not.

I can’t forget that all my followers and friends are a bonus, if I had never joined tumblr I’d still be drawing the silly shit I draw in peace. And while yes, I do want to grow as an artist and sell more merch and keep growing... I can’t forget my initial excitement for this silly little game. I like to talk about it. I like to write about it. It inspires me.

It’s supposed to be fun. Please remember that. I know it can be discouraging to have others being shitty to you. Or going through a creative drought. But, try not to let this stop you from creating what you love.

[ferretrix]

hey, long time admirer of your stuff! ive just been wondering, though, how exactly do you do your eyes? like.. obviously they're different from character to character, but how do you usually form them and whatnot?

thank you ! - 💥

heya thank you :) it's been a while since i answered one of these in depth but for you good anon i will try my best..... Here's the simple answer:

Here is some more thought-process/behind the scenes stuff:

Obviously head angle determines many things about drawing eyes; I've been trying harder to keep it in mind when I'm putting lines down, and it'll generally make them look more grounded/offer better depth. The main takeaway from head angle is how are the eye sockets oriented. Doing drawovers of photographs is a cheap+easy way to get a feel for this, but I wouldn't worry about 100% anatomical accuracy; what I'm trying to get a feel for is the placement of eyes versus the brow/nose bridges.

The amount of detail I put into eyes is wildly inconsistent haha it rly depends on the piece and art style, but the (for lack of a better word) "definition lines" and spots of black in deep shadow make up most of the detailed stuff. I'm still not great at drawing massively distinctive eye shapes but I try to maintain a general sense of one for different faces (ex. Rectangular, narrow, round, angled up or down). I'll also be the first to admit it takes a lot of conscious thought to reproduce the same line variation/angles in someone's eyes each time you draw them, but if you're looking for advice on consistency those are examples of traits I'd keep in mind.

That's it for the most part.... I don't think the way I draw eyes is particularly unique lol so here are a few things that have gotten me where I am:

other people's art, a lot of which is manga. when I say naruto taught me to draw im only half joking hwheeze. my art tastes lean towards manga/comic stylization so none of this is hugely realistic overall....

that being said, I do like the more realistic side of manga/comic art so photo studies/anatomy tips have still been useful to me

this tutorial by sinix is one of my favorite things ever, because it explicitly discusses both anatomical knowledge AND how to translate that into shorthand

thanks for the ask!

[mintmoth]

I'm sorry to be making a post like this asking for help, but I'm currently between housing situations and that's put me between jobs, so I've been trying to take a couple commissions to try to keep myself from getting into my savings for moving out of state, but I've dipped lower in my funds than I'm comfortable with when I have limited ways of recovering since I'm still struggling with being able to draw regularly.. I'm burnt out and stressed and not being able to push myself to draw regularly is frustrating beyond words both because I need money and also just.. I miss drawing and having fun with it

I'm sorry I'm rambling, I just don't really know how to go "hey can I have help", basically I just need some help getting my funds up a little so I can comfortably get some food, more shampoo and body wash, and possibly some of those plastic drawers so I can put my clothes in them for the next couple months instead of just keeping everything in a suitcase

I'm going to keep trying to get back into the swing of drawing, and hopefully then I'll be able to make a proper commissions post or something so I can better offer something in exchange for help, but just for the moment I'll be at least offering thank you doodles for anything over 20- just leave a note saying what character I know that you'd like to see and I'll do my best

[mikobeautifulheart]

Hey I liked that fic you did on pervy megumi ❤ could you do it with yuji but make it a little sweeter ❤❤ty

Ahh I'm sorry this took so long because for the first time in history this is slightly more edited. I tried sweeter but honestly at this point I think i'm incapable of affection. I tried *sigh* sorry bout that.

Pervy Yuji (thoughts)

TW: pervert. Obsessed (Mildly) Some weird non consented touches but not smut. (or spicy sorry guys.)

No surprise that Yuji just can't get enough of you.

Every moment, ever opportunity, he takes it.

Y/N wanna train together? Y/N wanna study together?

Y/N Gojo sensei is making us pick partners for the sister school even, wanna be mine?

Its not just being together but also distance.

The fact that every training session ends a little too close together.

"Yuji your squishing me." You muffled trapped under Yuji's body...again.

"Ah sorry Y/N! I lost my footing there and couldn't keep my balance."

Out of training to.

"Sorry Y/n the train is getting a little crowded" he said trying to hide his face in his collar.

"Its not your fault Yuji"

Every bump of the train you felt his hand on places you usually would hit someone's hand away from... Good thing he looked so innocent or you wouldn't have brushed it off so easily.

But every time you brushed it off. Yuji is just trying his best you know? He's Sukuna's vessel and never even knew about curses until now, you had to cut him some slack.

Even if it had nothing to do with the Jujutsu world.

"Hey Yuji, did you happen to get my laundry by accident? I can't find it anywhere and Megumi said you were there last."

"Oh uh I can check but if it's not here do you need help looking?"

"Uh- thanks but no, its just some...it would be embarrassing I guess. You know what never mind I probably just misplaced it again sorry." You sigh and walk out the room.

It happens more often then you liked. Some clothes of yours would go missing and then you would find them where you last left them or in a basket near the laundry.

If only you checked his lower dresser draw filed with some of you clothes.

When they lose their scent they get put back and so the cycle continues.

"Your sick. And that's coming from me. The king of curses, I kill and eat people and i'm telling you your sick ha." Sukuna chuckled in his head.

"Shut up. Like you would understand." Yuji said climbing down from a tree across from your window.

THANK YOU FOR READING ♡

AUTHOURS NOTE: Omg I wrote this so long ago but it didn't save. But it's okay because I re-wrote it and it's way better now. Trust me (even tho the ending sucks a bit). Anyways have a good whatever time of day.

[vodika-vibes]

Okay, silly ask and you can decline if you don’t do the pregnancy stuff! But I was thinking a Crosshair x reader where they were an item pre-O66, and then the Kaller and brainwashing happened and they went separate ways because, ya know, chip went: “yo kill your brothers those hoes ain’t loyal.” While they’re separated, reader finds out she’s pregnant, and Crosshair only finds out when he lures the rest of the batch back to Kamino and they’re in that training room.

(Bonus if the rest of the batch only found out semi-recently too because reader’s mentality was “okay, I’m pregnant, no biggie. I’ll tell them later when it actually becomes an issue” and Tech figured it out right away but never said anything either)

That's What Family Does

Summary: Being pregnant sucks. Being pregnant with the baby of a man who’s actively hunting the people keeping you safe is worse. The fact that you still love him is just the icing on the “bad year” cake. Still, you probably should have listened to Hunter when he told you to stay on the Marauder rather than risk Crosshair seeing you. Ah well, you’ve never been the best at listening.

Pairing: TBB Crosshair x F!Reader

Word Count: 1771

Warnings: Pregnancy and Childbirth, and complicated relationships

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly @kimiheartblade @mire-draws-things

A/N: So, I know next to nothing about childbirth, on account that I'm both childfree and infertile, so it's never been something that I had to worry about. So I did almost no research on this topic. Also, I've still never watched TBB, so I played around with...everything. But this has also been half-written for the better part of two weeks, and I just needed inspiration to strike me. Anyway, I hope you like it!

“You just had to come with us, didn’t you?” Hunter hisses as he shoves you behind Wrecker, “Why don’t you ever listen?”

“Because you’re not my mother,” You hiss right back at him, as you grab the over-large shirt that Echo’s been trying to shove over your head for the last five minutes and pull it on. It does…very little to hide your stomach. But then, the boys, and Omega, have only recently found out about your pregnancy. And only because you finally started showing and couldn’t hide it anymore.

Needless to say, Hunter and Echo weren’t thrilled about the sudden surprise. Wrecker was torn between excitement and dismay. And Omega…well, she’s been bubbling with excitement since she found out.

“Great, now we have to keep anyone from finding out that you are 8 months pregnant with a clone baby.” Hunter grouses, “Omega, stay with her.”

Omega nods rapidly, and wraps her arms around you, “I’ll bite anyone who tries to touch her.”

Absently, you pet Omega’s head and glare at Hunter, “Well, if you don’t say the words ‘clone’ and ‘baby’ next to each other, no one will ever know.”

“Yes, because your relationship with Crosshair was the best-kept secret on Kamino,” Hunter replies, deadpan, “there’s absolutely no way that anyone will ever figure out that you're pregnant with his baby.”

“Okay, tone down the sass, Mister. It’s not helping.”

Hunter grabs your shoulders, “You irk me. You’re irksome.”

“Hey! I’m pregnant, you can’t talk to me like that!”

For a moment, you think Hunter is going to shake you, but he stops when Tech taps his back, “He is here.”

Abruptly, you’re shoved back behind Wrecker and Echo, nearly tripping over Omega who’s still wrapped around you, and you only manage to catch a glimpse of Crosshair. 

His face is pinched and angry-looking, and you see his hand twitching towards his blaster.

Oh, you really hope that this doesn’t turn into a firefight. You don’t want to have to explain to your baby how they don’t have a dad because he got himself killed.

That would be awkward.

The nice thing is you’ve sped through all five stages of grief, and have just accepted that Crosshair isn’t the man you thought he was. And here you thought you were going to need, like, so much therapy to come to terms with it.

“Hunter.” Crosshair’s voice is cold. Colder than you’ve ever heard before. 

“Cross,” Hunter sounds tense, and you feel a pang of guilt. He wouldn’t be half as stressed if you and Omega just stayed on the ship. If you get out of this alive, and, you know, not a prisoner of the Empire, you should make him some apology cookies.

There’s a tense silence and Wrecker adjusts his weight slightly. You can tell by his body language, Echo’s too, that if this turns violent, the pair of them will remove you and Omega from the scene. Then again, that does tend to be their job most of the time.

“I assume you’re here to surrender.” Crosshair says. You know him better than anyone, you can tell he doesn’t believe a word coming out of his mouth. 

Hesitantly, you peek around Wrecker and Crosshair sees you immediately. His sharp gaze lingers on you for a moment, and you see something like regret flicker across his face, though it vanishes as soon as Echo shoves you back behind Wrecker. 

“You have to leave the doctor behind,” Crosshair says flatly.

“No,” Tech says immediately.

“She belongs to the Empire.”

“Technically, my contract is with the Republ—” You counter, indignently.

“Stop talking!” Hunter, Tech, and Echo say in unison and you close your mouth without finishing your thought.

Hunter glances at you, and then at Crosshair, “She’s not a slave, Crosshair. She can come and go as she pleases.”

You can hear the argument continuing in the background, but you’re not really listening anymore.

Something doesn’t feel right.

And then you’re slammed with a cramp so intense that your legs nearly buckle. Your hand lands heavily on Omega’s shoulder and you exhale sharply. “Are you okay?” The little girl whispers, doing her best to not draw too much attention to herself…or you.

“We need to get back to the Marauder.” You say though clenched teeth.

“That’s the plan, but—”

“Meg.” You interrupt her, “I’m pretty sure I’ve just gone into labor.” You keep your voice very, very calm, not wanting to scare her, but she stares at you with wide eyes.

“WHAT!?” The men stop arguing at Omega’s panicked shout and turn towards her. “You…you can’t! It’s too early! You’re only 8 months!” Omega continues, her voice pitching high in her panic.

You don’t answer her. Can’t answer her, really, because you’re too busy trying to breathe through the waves of pain that kind of make you want to cry, scream, and throw up all at the same time.

You’re pretty sure you’d sell all of the clones on Kamino for some pain medicine.

You’re also pretty sure that that’s the pain talking and you’ll feel bad for having that thought as soon as you’re no longer in labor.

The waves of pain fade enough for you to recognize that your boys are in the middle of panicking around you. Panicking and not helping you.

Great.

Lovely.

Super.

You reach out and grab Wrecker’s forearm, “I need to get to a bed, preferably on the Marauder, because if I have to give birth in a training room, I’m going to murder all of you.” You say through gritted teeth.

And then Crosshair is there, his gaze lingering on your stomach, and if you were feeling even remotely charitable you’d say that he looks guilty and hurt.

But, you’re in so much pain right now that you really couldn’t care less.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” He asks.

You grab him by the collar of his armor, “I am in the process of pushing a watermelon out a hole the size of a lemon. And it’s all your fault.” You snap, “I need to get to the Marauder.”

“...you know it takes two people to make a baby, kitten—”

The string of curses that fall from your lips after his comment, is enough that the boys push themselves into high gear and then rush you back to the ship. 

24 hours of hard labor later, your babies are finally here.

And you finally know why you went into labor early.

Turns out you were pregnant with twins. Twin girls, to be specific.

Right now they’re sleeping in a cradle that Echo stole from Kamino, wrapped in a black and a red blanket specifically.

So far, Hunter, Echo, Wrecker, Tech, and Omega have come to meet the babies. But no Crosshair, though you know he’s still on the ship.

Hunter said that Crosshair refused to leave while you were still in labor. And now that they’re born, he wants to raise them with you.

It’s a nice thought, you suppose. Aside from the whole “wanting to kill his brothers” thing.

Plus, he still hasn’t come to meet the babies.

You tilt your head to the side as one of the babies yawns widely and then falls back to sleep. You hear the door slide open and then shut again. When you look up, you see Crosshair standing, awkwardly, at the door.

He’s dressed in his blacks and isn’t armed.

Hunter probably told him no weapons in the medbay. He’s a good brother-in-law, you’re lucky to have him.

“They’re cute.” Crosshair says as he walks over to the babies and peers down at them.

“They look like wrinkly potatoes.” You correct.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to say that?”

“I just spent 24 hours pushing them out of my vagina. If I want to call them potatoes, then I’m going to call them potatoes.”

“Ah,” He’s quiet for a moment, “Are you…okay? There was a lot of blood, Tech said.”

“Yeah, well…he had a bunch of my blood stored up for this scenario. Just in case.” You admit with a shrug, “I’ll recover. I’m going to be weak for a while though.”

“What are you naming them?”

“...I dunno. I was only expecting one baby, not two.” You pull your blanket up higher, “You’re such an overachiever.”

“...I’m sorry?”

“Whatever. I’m too tired to be properly angry.” You pause, “We are going to have to talk, Crosshair.”

He rubs the back of his head, “Yeah. I know.”

“You walked away.”

“I know.”

“And it was easy for you to do. How could it be so easy for you to walk away?”

He sighs, “I’m sorry.”

“Would you have even come with us if I didn’t go into labor?” You ask.

Crosshair shakes his head, “I don’t know.” He pauses, “You’re mad.”

“I think I have good cause to be mad, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess.” He’s quiet for a moment, “A condition of me staying with you and the twins is getting the chip out. And no weapons until they’re sure that I’m not going to try to hurt anyone.”

“Let me guess…Hunter?”

Crosshair nods, “He’s very…protective.”

“He always has been. But Hunter was the one who let me cry on his shoulder when you walked away. He might be a bit angrier at you than anyone else.”

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

You shrug, “Well, you did.”

The pair of you fall into a, slightly, awkward silence, and then you sigh, “Luna.”

“Sorry?”

“The twin with the silver hair, I’m going to call her Luna, I think.” Crosshair blinks at you, and then glances at the babies, finally noticing that one of the babies has his coloring, while the other one has yours.

“And what about her sister?”

“Don’t you want to name one?”

He looks momentarily surprised, and then he glances at the baby who looks like you, “Willow. I want to name her Willow.”

You tilt your head curiously.

Crosshair doesn’t acknowledge your silent question for a moment, and then a small smile lifts the corner of his lips, “The first date we went on was a picnic under a willow tree.”

“...I’m surprised you remembered that.”

“It’s important.”

You watch him for a moment, and then laugh softly, “Alright. Luna and Willow, then.” You allow your gaze to linger on Crosshair as he looks over the twins, and your smile widens.

The both of you aren’t okay. There are a lot of wrongs that need to be righted. But…well, he’s here. And you can’t help but think that that’s a step in the right direction.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

Please 🙏🏻 please 🙏🏻 please 🙏🏻 can I get your thoughts on yandere dom Hal Jordan‼️

Begging on my knees ❗️❗️

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐀𝐋 𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍…

!!! 18+ THEMES, GN reader, heavy non-con elements, coercion, mentions of manipulation/intimidation/threats/kidnapping, semi-public, jealousy, possessiveness, biting, slightest mention of a possible cannibalism kink, brief daddy/sir kink, praise, degradation, angry sex, rough sex, somno, cockwarming, Hal is a menace to society and absolutely disgusting (I say as I drool over him).

This ask is giving me psychic damage in the best way possible.

Hal does not take “no” for an answer. It doesn’t matter if his charm and charisma doesn’t work on you; he’ll find a way. Maybe he just needs to sprinkle in a little manipulation, or somehow scare you into his welcoming arms. Is that also not working? Hm, as much as he hates being the bad guy, he’s not afraid to use intimidation and threats towards you if the ends justify the means. Still not working? Well, damn. Guess he has to kidnap you. And to think this all could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t been so difficult.

This man is absolutely shameless, unable to keep his hands off you even in public. Yes, it gets ten times worse when he’s jealous. If it comes down to it, he absolutely will drag you off for a quick fuck. Does that make him a tiny bit possessive? Maybe. But, hey, for what it’s worth, he’s great with his mouth. Your pleasure usually comes before his; it’s the least he could do before he fucks you into oblivion.

Hal’s definitely a biter. There, I said it. And not just little nips, either. I’m talking full-on teeth marks on your shoulder, deep enough to bruise or even draw blood. This kind of goes hand in hand with his possessive side and maybe a hint of a cannibalism kink?? We don’t have time to unpack that, so we’ll leave it at what I know for sure: Hal Jordan thinks it’s very hot when you have bite marks all over your body. Especially when you’re wearing his jacket over them.

And if I say daddy kink, will y’all come after me? Cuz, yes, Hal is disgusting like that. He’d be over the moon if you hit him with the d-word. But, hey, he’ll take a “yes, sir” or “no, sir” just fine, too. Compromise, amiright?

When it comes to dirty talk, Hal can dish out praises and degrading comments equally. I think it depends on how much coercion he had to do; he’ll praise you if you took the easy way, degrade you if you took the hard way. Simple as that. Though this also depends on what you’re into. Again, your pleasure usually comes before his, so he makes mental notes on what you like.

Speaking of coercion though, remember that Hal doesn’t take “no” for an answer. Your choices are the following: accept his advances, or be forced to accept his advances. Should he need to force you a little, he’ll start off encouraging (“it’s okay, I’ll make you feel good, I promise”), then get a little more pushy (“come on, you know better than this”), until he’ll eventually just take what he wants (“hey. Stop struggling. I don’t wanna hurt you”). While he somewhat recognizes what he’s doing is wrong, he easily justifies it by reminding himself it was your choice to do this the hard way.

“Shh, everything will be fine, babe. Just let me take care of you. Yeah, there you go… you put up one hell of a fight. I’m sure you’re tired.”

God, he is an absolute menace when he wants to be. Should you ever piss him off, there’s a chance he’ll fuck his frustrations into you. This man has enough stamina to go for a long time, so I wouldn’t recommend testing him. Unless if you’re fine with not being able to walk for a couple of days. Then go for it!! It’s your call.

If you’re into that, a good way to piss him off is trying to weasel out of his grip. Hal always has an arm around you, be it in public, around the house, while you sleep… bro just canNOT let go. I think he’s secretly insecure about you running off, so for you to feed into that? Yeah, no. Not a good idea. Unless, again, that’s what you’re going for. Then it’s a great idea!!

Y’all, I’m gonna be honest. You may wake up in the middle of the night to him fucking you. He just can’t help himself, okay?? He didn’t want to wake you, and hey, what you don’t know won’t hurt you, right? Just know that if you catch his freaky ass doing this, he will feel absolutely no guilt. I mean, why would he? We’re already past the point of shame. If anything, he’ll double down and whisper nasty shit in your ear until he cums. And, yes, he’ll stay inside of you til the morning. Good ol’ cockwarming.

Oh, yeah. Cockwarming. He’s big into that. And it’s lowkey not even a sexual thing; he just really likes the intimacy. It’s very common for him to be inside you while the two of you watch TV, your back pressed against his chest as he leaves gentle kisses on your neck. This is when Hal shows his softer side, even going as far as resisting the urge to bite you!! What a big step for him!!

All in all, yan Hal is a mixed bag. As long as you’re compliant and don’t go out of your way to make things hard for him, I’d say he’s pretty mild. It’s just that his sex drive is through the roof, especially after long missions. Does he bring you with him to space? You know what, probably. He just wants to be near you, okay? Or, actually, maybe it’s more of the other way around; he wants you near him. The specifics are important.

But yeah. Good luck covering up those bite marks!! Hal likes to leave them in obvious places on purpose (he’s an asshole like that).

[greenplumbboblover]

Bit of a personal update...

Hey everyone!

This is probably not the best way of reaching everyone who has been affected from... well, me being me... but I just wanted it to be out in the open. Because I will be honest, I've been struggling with myself... a lot.

So, in the past, I've made numerous promises. On to do this mod, on replying to you (on Tumblr or discord), on reading awesome stories done by you. But the truth is... I really struggle with keeping up with *everything*.

It's not that I purposely want to ignore anyone. It really isn't that, I just... struggle to get to it. And occasionally when I finally can, I feel exhausted and this husk of a person.

Often how it goes, is that I will think: “Ah, person A (that I really like) replied to my message/reply! I'll type something back in 5 minutes”. And before I know it, I'm in this rabbit hole of getting distracted by YouTube, replying to work messages, this spontaneous weird feeling of wanting to clean my house, do some drawings, reconsider career switch for the 390018849020 time...

Then I lie in bed 2-3 days later to realise that... well, I hadn't done the thing I wanted to do, which was replying to that lovely person.

So, I know this isn't normal. That it's also not normal to have your brain having a song + a foreground thought, plus a background thought, All. The. Flipping. Time. (at least, that's how it feels.).

Just know, I'm trying to be better. I'm also currently trying to get professional help (and a potential ADHD diagnosis) to get a grip, to not feel overwhelmed at the end of the day (and therefore not feeling accomplished at all).

I just felt inclined to say:

I do care. I do care about you and the wonderful things you create and say. I do really love to see what everyone comes up with from that gray ball of mass, to then make something super awesome! Whether it is CC, stories... heck, even pretty pictures! I do care about the conversations I have with you.

For now, I'll take some time off, focusing on bettering myself.

Thank you for reading ♥

[star-wrote]

nsfw alphabet : daryl dixon

ao3 link

character: Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

warnings: | nsfw(obviously) | swearing | sexual details | mentions of daryl’s trauma | intentional lowercase | 18+ |

a/n: recently became obsessed with this man. there aren’t enough nsfw alphabets of him so enjoy :)

(not my gif or character)

A- aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

daryl thinks the aftercare is the best part of it all. it took a while to break down the habit of him just rolling over and falling asleep, but he got there eventually. he holds you and makes sure you're okay, cleaning you up if necessary. he lets you curl up into him, wanting to feel your warm breath on his skin. you listen to each other’s heartbeats, and drift into an exhausted sleep.

B- body part (their favorite part of both of your bodies)

daryl dixon loves every part of you. he doesn’t say that his favorite are your tits or ass, that’s something merle would say, and it just doesn’t sit right with him. instead, he thinks that your eyes are his favorite part of you. he likes that he can communicate with you just through the looks you give each other. he loves that he has to ask you to keep them open and look at him when he's making you feel too good to do so.

your favorite part of daryl are his thighs. big, strong, and sturdy; the perfect seat. his thigh can fit perfectly between your legs, holding your hips with his giant hands. his hands. you suppose that they could also be your favorite.

C- cum (anything to do with it)

since it’s the apocalypse, you and daryl decide that it’s better to be safe and not cum inside you. even though it takes every ounce of his control not to. he opts for pulling out and humming on your stomach instead. but you better prepare for when he finds condoms on a run because he will fuck you like it’s your last time together. which, hey, it could be.

D- dirty secret (self explanatory)

other than wanting to cum inside you, daryl really wants to fuck you alone in the woods, up against a tree. he knows it’s not very practical, especially with the dead walking around. he just can’t help but thinking how hot it would be for you to try and be quiet as not to draw in any walkers. 

E- experience (do they know what they’re doing)

most of daryl’s experience came from random drunk hookups that merle pressured him into before the world ended. it involved dramatic moans from the women, and daryl being too stuck in his head to remember anything else. he was open to you teaching him what felt good, and picked up on it fast. as a hunter, he has always been observant, and that doesn’t leave when it comes to your pleasure. he watched every expression, and hears every hitch in your breath to learn what makes you feel good. he asks if you're liking it, which sounds like sinful dirty talk to you.

F- favorite position (self explanatory)

it started out being doggie style, because he just couldn't bear for you to look at him or his scars. but with some gentle begging from you, he decided that he couldn't bear for you to not look at him. missionary is now his favorite, because he can still control the situation, and see the pleasure in your eyes at the same time.

G- goofy (how serious are they)

daryl is obviously very serious when it comes to the outside world, which doesn’t really change when it comes to the bedroom. since you managed to relax him and get him comfortable enough around you to break his walls down, he lets little laughs and smiles come through at your jokes, but not without jokingly telling you to stop.

H- hair grooming habits (how much hair do they have down there)

it is the apocalypse, so grooming isn’t necessarily the most important. the carpet matches the drapes. plus he doesn’t expect you to shave, so why should he? in fact, when you did shave one time, he freaked out and begged you to never do it again(unless you wanted to of course), which warranted a sigh of relief from you. he says that only bitches eat shaved pussy.

I- intimacy (romantic or rough/dirty)

it was always hard for daryl to bring out his romantic side, but he tries so hard for you. he grunts out praises and a little “love ya s’much” when he cums, letting you know that you’re the only one on his mind. 

J- jack off (how often do they masturbate)

literally never. it isn’t very convenient, and he never really has a high sex drive. when he does get turned on, it’s because you’re right there. no point in taking care of it himself when you're in front of him.

K- kinks (self explanatory)

daryl never got a chance to explore his kinky side before the apocalypse since most of his experience was with women who he didn’t trust or love. when he started to trust you in the bedroom(or where the apocalypse allows), you both started to experiment with what you are into.

  -size kink: he loves when you look so small compared to him

  -daddy kink: this one felt weird to him at first since you were younger than him, but he couldn’t help the twitch in his dick when you called him that while you were cumming (it is definitely used more after that)

L- location (where they like to get it on)

anywhere that is safe and gives you time to explore each others bodies is his favorite. still, the idea of fucking you in the woods sounds hot to him...

M- motivation (what turns them on)

anytime he sees you taking down walkers, or just overall being badass, he gets a little turned on. also when you look at him with your big doe eyes, he has to control himself from taking you in front of everyone.

N- no (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

daryl isn't into hurting you in any way, especially because of what he went through in his childhood. he sees it as somehow becoming like his father, and that is something that he hates. so big no on hurting you, even if he does think you're pretty when you cry.

O- oral (do they prefer receiving or giving)

one of daryl’s favorite sights is you on your knees for him, with tears streaming down your face as you try and fit all of him in your mouth. however, that sight can't compare to how you look when he’s between your thighs. he thinks he must've died and gone to heaven when he sees your breasts rising and falling with each deep breath. the little tugs on his hair and the praise from your lips makes him decide that he loves going down on you more than anything.

P- pace (do they prefer fast or slow)

when he’s had a long day or just wants to get some anger out, he wants to go fast and rough. usually he goes slow and deep, just to feel all of you for as long as he can.

Q- quickie (do they like them)

quickies have become a must in some cases, especially if you don't have much time because you're on a run, or you have to get a round in before the group wakes up. he always makes sure to make every time you're together special, no matter how short.

R- risk (do they like to try new things)

he’s never been a risky guy, but if you suggested something to try, he would consider. as long as he knows you're safe, he is down for anything.

S- stamina (how many times and how long each round)

even though he’s older than you, his stamina is immaculate. even if he’s tired, he knows how to make you cum enough to tire you out.

T- toys (do they like using them)

since most things gathered on runs get checked, toys aren't really a priority. if you’re with him on a run, you two might find one and use it, but you don't dare bring it home with you. daryl likes to pleasure you by himself anyway.

U- unfair (how often do they tease)

such a tease. when he’s feeling especially cocky, he likes to have complete control over you, which includes controlling your orgasm. he will edge you for what feels like an eternity, just because he loves hearing your pretty voice beg all pathetically. 

V- volume (how loud are they)

he adapted to being very quiet because most of the time you were together were around the group, or outside where walkers could hear. his grunts, moans, and dirty talk start coming through when the group finds safety, or when you are on runs in a safer place. he definitely starts going on runs with you just to fuck you and hear your moans.

W- wild card (anything random)

daryl had never been one for talking, but when his dick is deep inside your wet pussy, he can’t help but spout the dirty thoughts that come to his mind. whether it’s praise, degradation, or the occasional swear, he knows it works you up from how you whimper and clench around him.

X- x-ray (what’s going on down there)

long and thick, a couple of prominent veins, and a slight upward curve. this man walks like he has a big dick.

Y- yearning (sex-drive level)

very very low before he met you, but now he wants to fuck you every night if able.

Z- zzz (how fast do they fall asleep)

maybe it was his body adapting to living on the run, or never getting good sleep as a kid, but daryl takes ages to fall asleep. having your body next to him helps, and he starts to feel safe enough to let his guard down and sleep. however, he does wrap a protective arm around you just in case <3

[luvbugs-blog]

one bed? - featuring the aot boys

today we have: jean, bertholdt, and reiner

in which: there's only one bed? lmao have fun! note that in reiner's part, you are a warrior that escaped back to marley with reiner after the shiganshina arc.

warnings: none. i have extreme paranoia when it comes to me writing smut, so you will not see some from me until i get better (i am literally touch-starved, so i feel like anything i write will be cringe)!

author's note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know what to write next. i'm literally out of ideas. either in the comments, or in my messages. i will appreciate ANYTHING.

jean

"alright everyone," hange says, "go to your respective rooms. we'll meet back up in the morning and explore some more!" she turns to leave with onyankopon and levi who were staying in a nearby hotel as to not draw too much attention.

you look around for jean, sasha, and connie who were also staying in this hotel with you. as soon as you went to grab sasha to room with, connie swooped in, and the two were so excited that they were going to have a "sleepover". you heave a small sigh.

"don't sound too disappointed." jean says, giving you a small smile. "sad you're stuck with me tonight?"

"never." you say, bumping your shoulder with his. "it will just be much harder to keep an eye on those two." jean's smile slowly slides off his face.

"oh yeah." not much you can do about it now. you grab jean's hand and pull him to go find your room.

"this is actually so interesting, being in marley. i can't believe they have actual cars!" you say excitedly, smiling while looking out the window. you couldn't believe how advanced this place is.

"you sound like hange now! keep it down before your dumbass gets us caught." you give jean a little smack.

"oh shut up." the two of you finally reach the room, and as jean opens the door, he stops halfway into the room.

"hey! get out of my way, horse-face!" jean turns to look at you, his face a little red.

"i think they gave us the wrong room." confused, you look around jean to see there is only one bed in the entire room.

"oh." the thought of spending the night with your best friend in the same bed also made you a little pink. much to your relief, jean didn't see because he was too busy hurrying to use the bathroom. in reality, he was trying to calm himself down, but you didn't know that.

your stomach was swirling as jean finally came out of the bathroom, his face wet, like he had washed it. you had to look away. of course you were nervous. you've had a crush on the man for quite a while now. but you'd rather die than admit that.

an awkward, uncomfortable silence blanketed the room. until jean spoke up. "I honestly think we should just share it. it's pretty big. and we've grown up together. it won't be awkward."

that's a relief. "yeah. as long as your big horse feet won't kick me in the middle of the night."

"hey! my feet are normal shaped!" you giggle, the previous tension gone. "yeah yeah."

the two of you chat a little bit before calling it a night. you tuck yourself under the covers, turning your back to jean. "i hope you don't snore."

"guess you'll find out tonight." the two of you try sleeping, and for a few hours, it was successful. until the room got incredibly cold. you shuffle closer to jean, but it wasn't helping all that much. you turn around, facing jean, who looked fast asleep.

"hey." silence. "hey!" nothing. so you start poking his face, and he flinches. "what?" now you're embarrassed.

"nevermind."

"oh no. you didn’t wake me up for nothing." he pokes your face. "what do you want?"

"can you hold me?"

"what?!"

"i'm cold!"

"oh. alright then, come here."

"really?"

"yes, y/n. now hurry up." so you weasel your way into his arms, sinking into his chest. he is so warm.

and in the morning, when he wakes up before you, he'll let you sleep, with your leg around his waist and his arms around you. maybe he will finally work up the courage to ask you out.

bertholdt

you were shaken. of course you were, you were kidnapped. the last thing you remember is walking away with armin on the wall, and you could faintly hear hange talking to moblit about titans that could dig. but you wake up on a tree, in the forest which was surrounded by titans. you see ymir awake, scowling at two men up on higher trees. is that eren over there? you have to blink because it's so bright, but when it finally comes into focus, you realize it's reiner and bertholdt. oh yeah. the traitors. you start breathing heavily, thinking about how it's your lover up there. ymir tries to calm you down, her eyes wide, but it doesn't work. how could he do this to you. was everything fake? were your friends still alive. why were you here? you start feeling faint, and feel hot tears pooling at your eyes. you faintly hear the screeching of odm gear coming closer, and you hear bertholdt talking to ymir, but it's too late, and you pass out once again.

when you awaken a second time, it's night. you have to adjust your eyes to try to figure out where you are. but all you see are stars. you're on the wall. you feel a hand on your shoulder.

"y/n?" you turn your head without moving your body and see him. bertholdt, who's eyes are red and swollen. you reach your hand up to hold his face but then think better of it. you let your hand fall.

"i'm so sorry. y/n, i'm so sor-"

"bertholdt!" you recognize reiner's voice and lift your body up, with his hand on your back. you shove his hand away, ignoring the hurt look on his face. you see reiner and ymir coming your way. while bertholdt and reiner whisper to each other, ymir comes to check on you.

"are you alright?" you shrug. which earns a sad smirk from ymir. shortly after, bertholdt returns to kneeling next to you, but not saying anything. after a while, you find your voice.

you turn your head to bertholdt and ask, "how did i get here?" he flinches at your strained tone, but softly explains what happened while reiner and ymir set up sleeping bags they found in the district below. you also find out the truth about bertholdt's background. about him being from marley, his mission, why he decided to become a warrior. he explained about his sick father and the oppression he received just because he was eldian.

and suddenly, your heart was conflicted. there was life outside of the walls. but they weren't free. they had the same blood you did, and they were being tortured for it. but they killed so many innocent people from inside the walls. those people didn't know what they were dying for. they didn't deserve to die. you wanted to yell and scream at him, but you also wanted to comfort him. so you cried. you cried and cried and fell into him because you were weak, and despite hating him for all he had done, you loved him. and he held you as you cried, and eventually he started crying with you. so the two of you cried until there were no tears left. in the silence left behind, you whispered to him, "take me with you. take me home with you." too weak to argue, he agreed. he placed a soft kiss on your forehead and wiped away your tears.

"ok."

what felt like hours later, reiner came to drop off the sleeping bag.

"i'm sorry, but we could only find three." while bertholdt starting insisting you take it, you just stand up and take the sleeping back from reiner, giving the man a hug, which surprised him.

"thank you. one is enough. we can share." and so you did.

you held onto his long ass body and just held each other, oozing comfort the both of you needed.

reiner

while porco and pieck were mocking him from behind, you were at his side, giggling at his little pout. you intertwined your arm with his and put your head on his shoulder, causing the two goons to laugh and mock even more. but the two of you didn't care. you guys were considered pretty close before, but after returning from paradise, the two of you were inseparable. the two of you walked along the festival, reiner occasionally having to stop to pay for gabi and the others, but never separating from you.

"oh, reiner!" pieck says, "don't forget about the meeting we have tomorrow." the both of you sigh.

"we haven't forgotten pieck," he replies. you detach yourself from reiner when you see porco beckoning to you. while reiner and pieck chatted, you were able to talk a bit with porco. the two of you wandered for a bit before reiner came to pull you away, looking a bit jealous, which porco wouldn't let him live down.

the two of you follow the children around until they get too tired and full from all the festival food. while reiner is dragging gabi around, the two of you talk about the trek you will have to make for the meeting.

"we should rent a hotel room. that way we won't have to get up too early tomorrow to travel."

"good idea!" so after dropping off the children at their respective homes, the two of you hitch a ride to the hotel nearest to HQ where the meeting was taking place. when the two of you check in, you only ask for one room, but two separate beds.

however, when the two of you went to go to sleep, there was only one bed. although, it didn't bother you two that much, as the two of you often slept over together.

so when it was time for bed, the two of you crawled in together, immediately cuddling together. you lay your head on his chest and he holds you. this was how you often found comfort when the two of you first got back from the island, often crying about bertholdt, annie, and the comrades you considered friends. and the two of you haven't stopped this little routine, even years later.

but this time felt a little different. reiner was holding you more tightly than usual. but you couldn't bring yourself to ask why because you were too tired. as you were falling asleep, you hear him whisper, "I love you." not that you would know this, but he had been telling you this for a long time when you were sleeping. so it quite surprise to him when you opened your eyes and smiled.

"I love you too." you slowly press a kiss to his lips and he graciously returns it.

author's note (again): will there be a part two? idk yet. let me know if y'all want one in the comments section. (and i know you saw my author's note up top. *suspicious side eye* you better tell me what to write next)

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hey there Astra! Hope you're taking care of yourself and doing well 😄. Can I request Izou, Thatch, Marco, and Ace with a shy!s/o? If it's too much you can just do Izou, thank you so much you're the best!! 🤍

So this is also my @onepiece-bingo submission for 'First Kiss'. Thank you for being so patient with me.

Warnings: first kisses, Shy!Reader, Izou, Thatch, Marco, Ace

Word Count: 1490

Izou

     It was cute how shy you were, how you hid behind him if too much attention was on you, how you sank in your seat to try to not be noticed, and how you squeaked and quietly insisted on being put down if he lifted you into the air. That being said, it was hard to keep a ‘low profile’ when you were dating the prettiest pirate in the New World and 16th division commander. The man attracted attention and oozed confidence and an elegance that drew people to him. You, by comparison, were relatively plain. Choosing not to wear flashy makeup or clothing in order to not attract attention. Head down and refusing to meet people’s eyes so that they wouldn’t approach you. Izou wasn’t really bothered by your shyness, in fact he found it rather endearing and cute. There was… one thing he didn’t like about your shyness though. You hated PDA. PDA always brought attention to you, attention and teasing. The most he could do was hold your hand but even then, you preferred to hold one of his long sleeves, afraid of the attention you might get if you actually held his hand. The crew never teased you on anything, they knew better than to try to tease you, less they invoke Izou’s wrath, but you still worried about all the eyes that could be watching you. He hadn’t even had his first kiss with you yet! But he was going to change that today! He had a nice place to pull you aside, away from the prying eyes of the others, secluded and not likely to be bothered. So pulling you through the halls, he smiled back at you, the confused look on your face only making you cuter.

     “Y/n.” he said softly, caressing your cheek as he closed the door behind you, “it’s not the romance you deserve, but I’ve been waiting too long to do this.” Izou said softly, pulling you into a sweet kiss. Your heart pounded in your chest as you kissed back, wrapping your arms around his neck. Suddenly, you wished you’d done this sooner, that you’d had the courage to kiss him in front of the others. Breaking the kiss, you looked up at him, in wonder.

     “Can… can we do that again?” you asked softly, the dark haired man smiling as he pulled you into another kiss.

Ace

     Ace was wild, loud, outgoing, and commanding. You were shy, quiet, introverted, and timid. Logically, your relationship made little sense, but then, love didn’t make any logical sense. You liked how he was always doing grand gestures to show you how much he cared, how he was pulling you out on some new adventure, and how he showered you in affection. He loved how cute you were, how your need to avoid attention kept him out of too much trouble, how you quietly gave him small gifts. That being said, there were things you both hated. You hated how he was always attracting attention to you, despite your protests, you hated how he was always pulling you into his trouble, and how he’d pull you with him when he was really happy, drawing the attention of the entire crew to the two of you. He hated how you always wanted to be a wallflower during parties, how he wasn’t allowed to show you off and tell everyone how amazing you were, and the one he hated the most, how adamantly you refused PDA. He wanted to walk down the street with his arm wrapped around your waist, he wanted to spin you around in his arms, and most importantly, he wanted his damn first kiss with you! But he’d be damned if your shyness stopped him! It was the dead of night that he tugged you to the back of the ship.

     “Ace, what’s so important that you needed to talk to me at this hour at the back of the ship?” you asked, confused and slightly annoyed. You’d been getting ready for bed, what did he want? Ace just gave you one of his sunny smiles as he pulled you into a passionate kiss, hands on either cheek, holding your head as he sighed happily into the kiss. You couldn’t stop yourself from melting into the kiss, hands gripping his shoulders. Pulling back, he grinned at the dazed look in your eyes. He didn’t bother to say a thing as his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into another kiss, neither of you aware of the small audience that peeked through the windows, quietly cheering and exchanging bet money. 

Marco

     Sitting in his office, Marco smiled over at you. You always looked so at home in the solitude of his office, away from the rowdy and often boisterous crew. Helping the phoenix with whatever various paperwork or office work he had. He understood your desire to stay out of the spotlight, to stay away from the excitement and attention that often came with much of the crew. In fact, it astounded him that someone as shy as you even sailed with the Whitebeard Pirates. The most infamous pirate currently alive, someone everyone kept an eye on, and you stayed with them. Getting up, he walked over to you, pushing some hair out of your face and placing a gentle kiss to your forehead, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink. 

     “Sorry, Little Bird, you looked too cute-yoi.” he said softly, large hand cupping your cheek as he sat on the edge of the desk you were working at. Smiling up at him, you leaned into his touch, he was always so sweet. Turning your head, you placed a soft kiss on his palm, the sweet gesture making him sigh happily. Leaning down, he put a hand under your chin, his lips meeting yours, lightly pushing you back into your chair so he could deepen the kiss. Pulling away, you couldn’t help but giggle.

     “What’s so funny, Little Bird?” he asked, as you smiled at him.

     “It’s just… every kiss feels like the first with you. I… I still get butterflies and my stomach still does flips.” you admittedly shyly. 

     “I agree, your lips still taste just as sweet-yoi.” he said with a nod before pulling you into another kiss. He’d never been so happy that he worked away from the crew, able to share kisses like this with you as often as he desired.

Thatch

     The man was a damned flirt, though perhaps that’s what attracted you to him in the first place, how he made you swoon, how charming and sweet he was… his culinary skills didn’t hurt either. Well… mostly, in any case. It was sweet how he’d make you all sorts of culinary confections, cooking your favorite just for you, or other delicious treats. But he was always presenting them in the biggest, most ostentatious, attention drawing ways. Ways that had you looking for somewhere to hide from the prying eyes. Sure, he usually tried to keep said ostentatiousness in private, but on more than one occasion, he’d drawn the attention of damn near the entire crew to you. Hiding in the kitchen, you glanced back at Thatch, making sure that nobody could peek in and see the two of you. 

     “Don’t worry, my sweet treat, nobody’s going to bother us.” he said, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. 

     “I just… you have a tendency to draw everybody’s attention and you know I hate that.” you said, placing one of your hands over his as you relaxed in his hold.

     “I’ll make you a deal, you give me one thing and I’ll try to be better about that.” he offered, making you raise an eyebrow.

     “I suppose that depends on the ‘one thing’.” you said, as he continued holding you.

     “Just… close your eyes and trust me.” he whispered in your ear, making you sigh both from exasperation and your heart melting. Doing as he said, you felt him let you go for just a moment before his hands were on your waist again, picking you up and setting you on the counter as his lips met yours. You wouldn’t deny that you’d been waiting for this moment for a while, but there never seemed to be a good, quiet, moment for your first kiss. A moment where the crew wouldn’t bother you with wolf whistles and ‘good natured’ teasing. Your hands clung to the yellow scarf he was always wearing, keeping him pulled close to you as you remained lip locked until you needed to breathe. 

     “A-alright, that… I’ll allow you one more for free, but after that you have to keep your end of the deal.” you said shyly, staring down at your lap as you blushed. Thatch chuckled and pulled you into another kiss, more than happy to get another ‘freebie’. 

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

You Learn Something New Everyday... I Guess

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: none really, just Matt being a little self loathing

Genre: fluff? very very minor angst

Summary: You have a theory about your local vigilante that your friends think is silly (spoiler alert; it's literally not)

A/N: Because I refuse to believe no one has ever seen Daredevil and considered the fact that he is NEVER LOOKIN AT SHIT

***

You spin the straw in your drink while half listening to Foggy and Karen talk to each other about something you lost track of a little while ago. Something about a case last you were paying attention but they tend to spend so much time talking about work even on nights out you can't always keep track of it all.

"So what're your thoughts about the whole thing?" Karen asks as you stare into your glass.

"Y/n!" Foggy nudges you and your eyes snap up.

"Yes! Sorry. What was the question?" You ask.

"Daredevil, what're your thoughts on him?" Foggy nods towards the TV in the bar that's apparently playing a news story about Daredevil's latest escapades.

"He doesn't see." You shrug looking back at your drink.

"Doesn't see what?" Foggy frowns.

"Sorry, that's not quite what I meant to say; I meant he doesn't use his eyes to fight." You say looking up again.

"Wait what?" Karen shakes her head.

"I dunno, the eyes in his mask look opaque but also if you've ever watched him fight he doesn't really... look at things. The whole time his head does this twitchy thing like when dogs hear a sound but can't see it, as if he's trying to hear everything better." You explain.

"Are you- suggesting that Daredevil... is blind?" Karen asks.

"Well it's hard to know for sure if he's completely blind or not but I'd bet that he's probably at least visually impaired."

"You think a vigilante is visually impaired." Foggy scoffs.

"I know it sounds absurd but I mean before the fancy suit and the moniker he was the man in black, he wore like a black cloth that covered his eyes he's obviously not using them." You shrug.

"Maybe he could see through it." He says.

"No- for it to be sheer enough for him to see through it, especially at night it would also probably be sheer enough to see him through, at least in the light, and he's got like an airtight lock on his secret identity. Even before he had the suit." You shake your head. "Maybe that's why." You add with a hum.

"Maybe what's why?"

"If he's visually impaired as I suspect he is, nobody would believe he's Daredevil! I mean he takes on gangs singlehandedly in the shadows of Hell's Kitchen all the time there's no way you'd expect a blind man to be doing all that. It would make the perfect cover story, plus if he gets injured I mean- he's blind nobody would question him saying he bumped into something or fell or even someone threw something and he didn't know. It's kind of genius."

"Look who decided to join us!" Karen smiles excitedly and you turn to see Matt standing between you and Foggy.

"About time loser! Why are all of you so obsessed with work?" You scoff.

"Hi guys." He chuckles.

"Hey man, you'll never guess what theory y/n here has cooked up." Foggy says.

"Hey! Don't talk about me like I'm some tin foil hat looney alright." You point a finger at him.

"Even you admitted how absurd it sounded!" Foggy says.

"Sure but I provided ample evidence to support my claim it's not some baseless conclusion I'm jumping to!" You say.

"It's circumstantial at best." Foggy says.

"Well this isn't a court of law Nelson we're at Josie's and I don't have to be an expert witness to draw conclusions here I think I've more than proved my stance."

"Not beyond a shadow of a doubt!"

"Excuse me we aren't running a criminal trial there's no reason I should have to work to those standards I think- what's the other thing y'all use? A preponderance of the evidence, I think that's more than sufficient-"

"Is one of you going to tell me what this is about or are you going to keep throwing around legal jargon in a bar?" Matt cuts your arguing with Foggy short with a question while Karen gets up to grab him a seat at your table. "Honestly y/n you spend too much time with us, when did you pick up all those phrases anyway?" Matt muses.

"I dunno Foggy likes to throw them at me and I like to be able to fight back." You shrug.

"Y/n thinks Daredevil is blind." Karen tells Matt, returning to her own chair.

"You think Daredevil... like the vigilante is blind?" Matt chuckles.

"See what I mean?" Foggy gestures.

"I don't know that I'd go with totally blind but I think he's visually impaired at least." You nod.

"How do you figure that?" Matt asks.

"Something about his helmet." Foggy says.

"Well that one I can't verify but before he had the devil suit, when he was just the man in black he was basically fighting with a blindfold on. Why would someone with perfect vision handicap themselves that way? Especially taking on criminals severely outnumbered every time it doesn't make sense. Oh and he does this head twitch thing like he's seeing with his ears and not his eyes. Like an animal when locating a sound they turn their ears to it first. It's the perfect cover honestly." You shrug. "Kinda like that kid in Queens."

"What kid?" Foggy asks.

"Another masked hero type, red and blue suit, they call him Spiderman over there." You pull out your phone to find one of the several viral videos of Spiderman you've seen. "To clarify, I don't think he's also blind or anything like Daredevil but I'm pretty sure he's a teenager." You say once the video ends.

"You think that's a child?!" Foggy looks at you incredulously.

"I mean I've seen a few of these clips of him, and between his build and his voice, because he talks in some of these, and his movements- there's almost no way that's an adult, but he can stop a bus with his bare hands so no one is looking at him and assuming a high schooler is doing that. I just happen to know a little too much about anatomy and physiology and he looks like a teenager. Again, another perfect cover, the least likely person."

"So- you watched that guy, do that, and your first thought was 'he can't buy alcohol yet'. Seriously?" Foggy asks.

"Well no actually I didn't think much of it at first but after a few clips, I started to wonder. I mean it's just a guess since his suit covers him from head to toe but I'm pretty confident in it." You shrug.

"You're insane. For this and the Daredevil thing." Karen nods.

"Excuse me for daring to consider all options." You say dramatically and Matt chuckles beside you but doesn't offer much on the subject. From there your conversation pivots topics and you all spend another hour or two talking and drinking before eventually calling it a night and going your separate ways home.

~*~*~

"Y/n." The voice startles you as you walk into your apartment and you let out a scream, clutching your chest as you take in the intruder by your balcony.

"Okay. I know you're a vigilante so you work outside of the law kind of by default here but you better have a damn good reason for breaking into my apartment, as in someone better be on their way to kill me right now or I am going to be so pissed off." You say after a moment because why the hell is Daredevil standing in your apartment?!

"No one is coming to kill you." He shakes his head.

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" You cross your arms.

"I wanna know how you figured it out."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You figured out that I'm- I don't see when I fight. How did you know that?"

"Better question, how did you know that I knew that? Although, I didn't know for sure until you just said that, but how did you know I thought that?" You ask. Daredevil pulls off his helmet and you gasp. "Matt?"

"Don't act coy okay, we both know you knew it was me already." He rolls his eyes.

"No I didn't! If I knew it was you, or thought it was you, I would've said so the other night when we were talking about the whole thing. You know I've never been one to shy away from sharing what I'm thinking- oh my GOD you're daredevil!?" You shake your head as the information sinks in. You don't know which piece of this you're more interested in, the fact that you were right about Daredevil being blind or the fact that he's coincidentally also part of your friend group.

"Oh come on, you spent twenty minutes arguing that you think Daredevil is visually impaired are you telling me it didn't cross your mind for even a moment that it was me?"

"Okay first of all Matthew, you're not the only blind guy this side of the Hudson you know. Going from Daredevil may be visually impaired to Daredevil is the only blind man I know personally is quite a jump considering it was just a theory. Not to mention fair skinned man average height, average build, describes so many men in Hell's Kitchen not to mention the rest of New York. Hell, Tony Stark fits that description and if he wasn't already such an obnoxiously public superhero on the other side of the city I'd believe someone suspecting him of being Daredevil too."

"So you never once thought it was me?" Matt scoffs.

"I mean it crossed my mind once or twice but it's not like I could know for sure. That helmet covers like 80% of your face and you work almost exclusively at night it's not exactly cut and dry to ID you. I mean you've already had a copycat come around once." You explain.

"Why didn't you ask?"

"What?"

"At the bar, the other night, if you thought it was me why didn't you ask me?" He asks.

"Well if I asked and you told me the truth anyone at the bar could've heard and, I know Daredevil has quite a few enemies. If you lied to protect your identity because we were in public well, we both know I expect honesty from you so why risk that rift? And then of course there's the possibility that I was wrong in which case all of you would look at me like I'd grown three heads- not that the whole 'Daredevil is blind' theory didn't already have them looking at me funny but that's besides the point. There was no good outcome for me asking in public. Plus there wasn't even a reason for me to ask you really, I didn't know enough to say you, Matt, and any distinct similarities with you, Daredevil besides the way you react to sound." You shrug.

"What?"

"It was watching you- as Matthew- react to sound that made me piece together the Daredevil thing." You say.

"And you still didn't think it was me?"

"Again you aren't the only blind man around here, I figured reacting to sound that way was just a common trait for people who have to rely on senses other than sight."

"You got everything all figured out don't ya." He shakes his head.

"Well come on I am kind of known for it." You smile and Matt chuckles in spite of himself.

"You're taking this better than I expected. You're not mad."

"That you're a vigilante in your free time? Of course I'm not mad. I've always encouraged you and Foggy and Karen to have lives outside of your job and while your choice is a little... unorthodox, I think everyone should have a hobby. If this is yours I'm all for it. Although it does feel kind of work adjacent since you're like a lawyer but I'll let it go." You muse.

"Foggy and Karen had... very different reactions to the news."

"Wait- Karen and Foggy know?" 

"Yeah- yeah they know. But, I had to tell them because of extenuating circumstances. You, you just guessed it."

"I mean technically it was more of an inference than a guess, plus I didn't even guess that it was you just that the red devil didn't need his eyes for a fight." You shrug. "I can't believe they knew and had me feeling crazy at the table." You chuckle.

"It wasn't their secret to tell. I had to be the one to let you know, they were just keeping their promises-"

"I know. I'm not even mad about it. It's just funny." You shrug.

"You are being very chill about all of this." Matt says.

"So are you like- not fully blind? Because I was operating with the idea that Daredevil didn't have 20/20 vision or anything but like I definitely wasn't thinking total blindness which- I thought you had. So is that not the case? Like are you not fully blind?"

"I am. Kind of. It's hard to explain." He grimaces.

"Well have a seat and we'll discuss i- actually, is your suit clean or did you just get done vigilanteing because I do not want blood or mud on my couch so you'll have to clean up, I can go find one of your accidentally left here hoodies if you need to change." You offer.

"Tonight's battles were pretty clean I think I'm good." He says with his hands up.

"To be on the safe side sit at one of the kitchen stools."

"Yes ma'am." He nods and walks over to a chair to have a seat.

"So- are you totally blind? Yes or no?"

"Technically yes."

"Technically?"

"The entire world looks like it's engulfed in flames. I can see silhouettes sometimes but they're are angry reds and oranges. They do not paint a picture at all really." He explains.

"Interesting." You hum.

"But, I've learned to see in other ways. Sound is a big one. I can even hear people's hearts beating."

"You can hear hearts beating?!" You blink at him.

"Yes." He nods once.

"Can you hear mine?!"

"Yes." Another nod.

"Woah. What do you use that skill for?"

"Number of enemies in a fight, counting the people in a room before I enter it, seeing if someone's lying to me." Matt lists off.

"Have you ever used it on me?"

"You don't lie to me." He shrugs.

"So that's a yes."

"It's a no. Not intentionally anyway. You've never given me a reason to even suspect you of lying." He says.

"So how else do you see?"

"Smell kind of, touch when I can. Sound is the main one though."

"You're like a bat." You giggle.

"Ha ha." His laugh is dripping with sarcasm that only makes you want to giggle more.

"Wait so- if you can do all this shit I take it you don't really need your cane then, do you?"

"Not- not really no."

"It's part of the cover then- isn't it?"

"Correct." He says.

"Hm, I assume this is also why you don't date, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's just that I imagine this Daredevil thing takes quite a bit of time, between that and the job that you never take a break from you basically have negative 2 hours of free time both of which you spend with either me or your coworkers. Plus I'm sure this would be one hell of a secret to try and keep from a significant other because it's not like you can tell them on the first date right? You never know who's working with your opps so you need to vet people so having to hide it until you know it's safe, which would probably totally suck." You rattle off your explanation.

"Okay first of all I date." He scoffs.

"You don't. You hook up with people sure but you do not date.  I was honestly starting to think you were some level of aromantic and I guess you still could be and that's totally fine by the way but not having time because you're a part-time vigilante makes sense." You shrug.

"I'm not aromantic and me 'not dating' isn't because of the Daredevil thing."

"Of course it's not." You say.

"You're being sarcastic aren't you?"

"A little, but hey you don't have to explain your lack of romantic life to me. I was just being nosy."

"What about you? You don't date either." Matt crosses his arms.

"I do date actually and the reason you don't know that is because you never ask but if you don't wanna talk about your not dating that's fine." You say.

"I have my reasons."

"I'm sure you do Matty, you're entitled to them. No need to defend yourself to me."

"It's not related to being Daredevil." He says.

"Do you want to tell me about it or no? If so, great let's talk about it, if not I've had a long day and I'm a little tired babes. You can go back out the window I assume you came through or you can use the door-"

"You." He cuts off your last sentence with a single word.

"Excuse me?" You frown at him.

"You are the reason I don't date."

"What did I do?" You blink incredulously.

"Nothing. I have feelings for you so I don't date other people. I'm Daredevil so I don't tell you that I have feelings for you because it's dangerous, because it was a secret I couldn't tell you, because I don't get the girl."

"You don't get the girl? Do you think you're the antihero in a movie? It doesn't work that way Matt. If you liked me the proper course of action is to say something to me don't make it into some big dramatic story arc that's doomed from the start, everything with you is self sabotage mission. Do you really believe yourself that undeserving of good things, of things you want, of happiness?" This isn't the first time Matt has done something in direct conflict of his happiness so you're not surprised, but since the thing in question regards you, you can't help but feel exasperated.

"I-" Matt trails off with a frown that makes his entire face squeeze. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Why tell me this now? If you 'don't get the girl' if you can't have a relationship because it's 'too dangerous' or whatever silly reason you have for hiding it in the first place. Why are you telling me now?"

"You asked and I'm tired of hiding it I guess."

"Tired of hiding it. You didn't have to hide it."

"I didn't- do you honestly think that if I told you like six months ago, that I'm Daredevil and that Hell's Kitchen's notorious vigilante has feelings for you, do you think you would've reacted well?"

"I like to think I would, yes, but who cares that's not what happened. You told me tonight so, now what?"

"Now what?" He blinks at you.

"You're Daredevil and you have feelings for me so what happens now? Do we- continue as we've been? Do we see where this goes? What do you want now?"

"See where this goes? You'd want that? With me? To see where it goes?" He asks, he looks so lost that you can't help but sigh.

"Yes that's why I asked. Is it so unbelievable that I could also have feelings for you?" You ask softly.

"Well you didn't exactly say that-"

"I'm saying now. So- ask me on a date, or go home."

"Ask you on a date?"

"That's what I said Matthew. For a fancy defense attorney who graduated from Columbia Law, you are lost in an extremely too easy to follow conversation."

"None of this has been easy to follow okay? I never thought I'd get the chance to-" Matt trails off and shakes his head remembering your instructions. "Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

"Yes I would. Eight o'clock. Don't be late." You say with a smile.

"Eight o'clock. I'll be here. See you tomorrow." Matt nods with an adorable grin on his face.

"Goodnight Matthew." You hum.

"Goodnight." He says putting his helmet back on and climbing out your window.

"He could've used the door." You mutter to yourself shaking your head. You still can't totally believe you were right about Daredevil being blind but more shocking is that it wasn't even the biggest reveal you got this evening. Life really does come at you fast.

***