#Also hey I will try my best to keep being better and drawing what I like... I'm just slower and more self-conscious about it
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kinda personal (again)
The other day I was scrolling through ig reels and a dude talked about how you don't really need to know every single thing about anatomy to draw accurate/good proportioned bodies, but instead have a good sense of spatial awareness and... Fuck man. I don't have that.
I suck at it so badly in every sense of the word... Like I have had a ton of bruises for being clumsy and hitting myself with furniture or things. I often miss a step and fall of my ass (one memorable time I fell down the stairs like a turtle -bc I had a backpack- and couldn't stand up. Fun times). I also can't seem to draw things without having to check over and over with references (And I still can't get them to look right! And don't get me started at perspective or backgrounds. I've literally cried for/because of those fuckers. That's also why I get so weirded out/perfectionist/nitpicky about my own stuff. Because I can't seem to look at it with "normal" eyes. I've tried, it doesn't work). I often have difficulties with a lot of shit because of it and then some (yay for having a roomba brain, I guess).
And it's not something I can really get better at fast or without a lot of work and time (and patience! Something I also lack, because who has time for that. I need things like yesterday! Chop chop brain. And shit... I can't really wait for stuff man) sure I can have some cheats and help (and the delightful use of references, muaks) , but I can't get better at it in a timely manner (meaning now or soon and for forever. Because I constantly forget how to draw and how to paint and other stuff. It's a real struggle. Also for me to use references means to do a finished drawing and that means fatigue and suffering and nitpicking and self doubt). I never knew about this when I was younger and I never thought it was weird or a symptom of something else. I was always just clumsy, couldn't differentiate from left and right and drew weird proportioned bodies besides other "weird" shit. I didn't have a clue because people (adults) didn't have a real problem with my behavior or way of being because I was overall a good student/kid and had good grades and was mostly quiet (I don't blame them nor my parents, it's just weird to be like that since forever and suddenly realize I can't function like I should as an adult or that I have disabilities that have always been there. The chronic pain doesn't help either, but hey! I'm trying and my life is normal-ish so it isn't terrible. It's just annoying and difficult sometimes)
The point is!!! I'm shit at spatial awareness and I get frustrated because I want to be better at it without the constant fight and struggle!
#It's like when a dog wants to play ball but doesn't want for you to take the ball from em to be able to throw it.#Just throw the ball! Don't take it from me! Kinda thing#That's how my brain works lmao#Who would have thought that having adhd and -most than likely be audhd. Bc hey I haven't been tested for the other yet- would be so weird#I mean sure I've been like this my whole life but to suddenly have an explanation and reason of being?#And that my failings and struggles are mostly bc my brain functions differently?#Besides that my body -mostly my head- hates my guts and can and will make it know every single week (The fucker)#Idk I just needed that thought to leave my body and be placed into the void that is Tumblr#kinda personal#Also hey I will try my best to keep being better and drawing what I like... I'm just slower and more self-conscious about it#Also! I studied anatomy at uni! It was nice but didn't help much! Because I didn't know I had a problem with stuff at that point#Now I know and actually try to observe and deconstruct stuff into more simple shapes. Is hard still! But I'm trying!!#The perfectionist and self doubting asshole that lives rent free in my head doesn't help. But I'm trying!#I don't like to talk about my struggles (even less being really serious about them) because I feel they're excuses and also bc-#I don't like to parade my problems on the internet or to ppl in general (I've over shared info before. It's not fun or a wise thing 2 do)#But I found this kinda hilarious because I love to draw and I want to draw but I can't even do that without problems lmao#Also I've always talked and referred to my bran is roomba brain bc it's funnier that way
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Rockstar!Eddie x Childhood Best Friend!Reader
Summary: Eddie's got a new girlfriend, which means you get put on the back burner indefinitely. But there's only so much you can take.
WC: 2.1k
Warnings: hurt/no comfort, rockstar!Eddie, takes place around 1989, drinking/tipsiness, Eddie is an idiot, kinda insecure!Reader
--
Lena was beautiful.Â
There was no denying that. Youâd seen how beautiful she was the night Eddie had picked her from the crowd, dark makeup and denim miniskirt that ended mid-thigh. She walked backstage like she owned the place, with a confidence you could only envy from afar.Â
You were used to it: Eddie would find a groupie, theyâd hook up for the night, and then she was all but forgotten as Corroded Coffin moved to their next tour destination.
But not Lena. Sheâd been around for the last six months. Always touching Eddie, kissing him, drawing him in with her gorgeous eyes. She was everything he wanted, and she knew it.
You tried to get along with her and get to know her; after all, she was your best friendâs girlfriend. You asked her to grab a cup of coffee, to hang out at the mall, to get your nails done at the salon. All three times, sheâd turned you down with some half-hearted excuse.Â
And now she was here, at your birthday party. Her legs were draped over Eddieâs as they sat on the couch, his arm around her and her fingers in his hair. All you could focus on was his smile, that same dopey grin he used to give to Chrissy Cunningham whenever sheâd give him an iota of attention back in high school.Â
Eddie Munson was smitten, and he had no intention of hiding his feelings.
You downed your drink, the harsh taste of vodka burning your throat, and quickly poured yourself another one. What was the saying? Itâs my party, and Iâll drink myself into a stupor if I want to? Something like that.
âHey, Birthday Girl. You okay?â Gareth spoke up, yanking you from your thoughts. You hadnât even realized he was beside you. âI havenât seen you drink this much since the Grammys afterparty.â
You nodded, your head heavy with tears and liquor and lies. âFine. JustâŠtired.â
Gareth scoffed. âTired of watching Eddie and Lena tonguing each other, you mean?â Your wince betrayed your indifferent facade, and Gareth laughed softly. âYeah, me, too.â He took a swig of his own drink and continued. âI mean, I get it. Sheâs hot as hell, but sheâs also kindaââ
âBitchy?â The word escaped you before you could stop it, another effect of the booze.
âYou said it, not me.â Gareth raised his cup in a pseudo-toast. âBut, yeah. Tour went from being about the band to being the Lena Show. And if you try to push back even a little, she just pouts and whines to Eddie that weâre being mean to her.â
You rolled your eyes. There was a freedom that came with confiding in Gareth, with no longer having to keep your feelings to yourself. âHe used to call me at least once a week,â you say of Eddie, âand I figured that would change once he got a girlfriend. But the last time he called me wasâŠtwo months ago.â
Could you even count that? It was just Eddie saying that the tour was good and that heâd be at your partyâwith Lena, of course. No silly stories from the road, no play-by-play of the shows, no begging for you to come see them again soon. It was as if youâd been a temporary placeholder until a better option came along.
And now, here she was, leaving red lipstick marks on his cheek. Staking her claim.
Eddie was never yoursânot like that. Not in the way you wanted him to be yours. Youâd been best friends since high school, and your crush had only blossomed from there. You were drawn to him the moment you saw him command the room during Hellfire, crafting and weaving a tale of a fantastical world with magnificent and terrifying creatures. It was as though you could see it right in front of you.
That storytelling talent extended to his songwriting. Sure, some of the songs were about the heartbreak that comes with being a teenager, but so many others were rooted in big problems: war, poverty, and the general injustices of the world. You were in awe of the way his eyes saw beyond the tiny borders of Hawkins.
Gareth slung an arm around you and pulled you close. Though youâd never told him about your crush on Eddie, he knew. All of Corroded Coffin knewâand probably all of the old Hellfire crew, too. Everyone but Eddie.Â
âItâll be okay,â Gareth murmured. âHeâs an idiot. Heâs always been an idiot, but with her, itâs amped up. Stupidity on steroids.â
You laughed at that despite the sadness brewing within you.
âGo enjoy your party. You deserve it.â
Heeding his advice, you pried yourself from the kitchen counter and over to some of the other guests. You managed to have fun, pushing away the nagging reminder of heartbreak just feet away. It got easier as the night went onâuntil it didnât.Â
âBaby,â you heard Lena whine. âThis party sucks. I wanna go back to the hotel.â
Say no, you silently willed Eddie. Tell her that you want to stay. Tell her that she can leave, but youâre going to stick around andâ
âYeah, babe. We can go.â
Five words that anchored a pit in your stomach. He didnât even consider an alternative option. Lena was his only priority.Â
You blinked back the tears in your eyes as he said his half-hearted goodbye. Lena stood behind him, arms crossed over her chest.Â
âSuper fun party,â she drawled, donning a saccharine smile. âSo sorry we have to leave early.â With that, she grabbed Eddieâs hand and led him out of your apartment.Â
The rest of the night was a blur. Even as you ate birthday cake and talked with other guests, your focus stayed on the remnants of your friendship with Eddie. Of course dynamics changed when friends got partners. But to be completely iced out? That couldnât be normal. It shouldnât be normal.
You decided that night that you were done. The friendship was already beyond repair. It wasnât Lenaâs fault, though it would be much easier to blame her and keep pretending that Eddie was still the same thoughtful guy from Hawkins High. No, Eddie was the problem, and the solution was letting him go.
Weeks went by, then months, with no word from Eddie. The first few days hurt, your heart still convinced that heâd call and apologize for bailing on the rest of your party. A simple âIâm sorryâ that might spark a flicker of hope.
It got easier after a while. You filled your days with work and friends. When you heard a Corroded Coffin song on the radio, you simply changed the station without tears falling. And when Entertainment Tonight declared that âa young woman previously linked to Corroded Coffin frontman Eddie Munson was spotting cozying up to a more popular bandâs lead singer,â you only chuckled and snapped off the TV.
The first call came a week later when you were at work. Your answering machine button flashed red, and you pressed play to hear the new message.
Hey, um, itâs me.
You froze, your blood icing over in your veins.
I know itâs been a while, butâŠa lot has happened. And Iâve been thinking, and I really wanna see you. Talk to you. I miss you. Um, the tour just finished, so Iâll be back in Hawkins. Let me know when youâre around.
Absolutely not. There was no way youâd talk to him again, and you finalized that decision by erasing the message.
But two days later, there was another one.
Hey, itâs me again. I was talking to Gareth, and he told me that I royally fucked up. Which I kinda knew, but hearing it from himâŠyeah.
Anyway, um, I donât wanna just hang outâI mean, I do, but I wanna apologize first. In person, i-if thatâs okay. I think my first message made it sound like, âHey, letâs go grab a drink and bullshit around,â but I want to say that Iâm sorry. Shit, Iâm rambling. Okay, Iâm gonna go now. Bye.
And then another the day after that.
Okay, so, you donât wanna meet up in person, and I get that. But I still want you to know how sorry I am, so Iâll just say it here, I guess. I never should have pushed you aside like that. I got caught up in everything with the band and the tour andâŠand her, andâŠyâknow. Thatâs not an excuse or anything, justâŠexplaining my series of fuck-ups. I miss you so much, and I wish we could just be friends again. I know itâs not that easy, butâŠfuck, I fucked this up. Iâm really sorry, and you donât have to forgive meâshit, Wayneâs home. Iâll talk to you later. Or, um, talk to your voicemail, I guess.
Wayne was home. That meant that Eddie was twenty minutes away from you, leaving voicemails from his uncleâs trailer. You grabbed your jacket, willing yourself to stay focused on the road as you drove to Forest Hills. That asshole wanted to talk to you in person, but couldnât even stammer out a genuine apology over the phone?
You knocked on the trailer door so hard that your knuckles ached by the time Eddie opened it.
âWhaâdid you get my messages?â His eyes widened as he took in the sight of you standing before him.
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. âYou mean the ones with your half-assed apologies? Yeah, I got âem.â
Eddie took a step back. âNo, no, I meant them. I really am sorry.â
âConvenient how you found time to be sorry once your girlfriend started fucking someone else,â you seethed. âCouldnât squeeze out a minute to call after you ditched me on my birthday, but youâve got plenty of time to grovel now.â
âThatâs notâshe wasnât good for me,â he supplied lamely.
You couldnât help the snort you let out. âWhat, did she hold the phone hostage? Did she pick you up and carry you out of my party? You,â you jabbed your forefinger into his chest, âare the reason we donât talk. Not her.â
âI know.â
âDo you?â You snapped. âBecause I have a feeling that you think this is on Lena. And maybe she didnât help, but she certainly didnât force you to be a shitty friend.â
Eddie rubbed his palm over his eyes. âI know,â he repeated, the frustration evident in his tone. âIâŠI was a shitty friend. I never should have left your party early, and I shouldâve stayed in touch with you. I shouldâve listened to the guys when they warned me that you wouldnât keep putting up with my bullshit for much longer.â
You felt a spark of reassurance that the other band members had stood up for you, but you kept your attention on what you needed to say. What you needed him to hear.
âAnd now what? Youâre back in Hawkins, no groupies around to keep you company, so you figure itâs a good time to reach out to me?â You stepped closer to him as you spoke. âIâm not your back-up plan when your life comes crashing down. Iâm a goddamn person, Eddie! And you just threw me away like our friendship meant nothing to you.â
He was silent for a few moments, his sweat sock-covered foot grinding into the carpet. His hair fell in front of his face, but you could still see him chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered his next words.
âGareth told meâŠhe told me that you liked me,â Eddie said softly. âLikeâŠmore than just a friend.â With trepidation, he looked into your eyes, tears forming in his own. âAnd he said Iâm an idiot for not seeing what was in front of my face the whole time. A really beautiful woman who has always been there for me. Who never gave up on me, whether I was playing to five drunks at the Hideout or to sold-out stadium crowds.â
âRight. All of the things Iâve done for you. But what have you done for me? How have you been my friend?â You waited for him to respond, but he said nothing. âExactly. I was just a groupie you never fucked.â
Eddieâs jaw dropped, and you couldnât help but feel a wave of pride wash over you at his utter shock. âIâmââ
âI know youâre sorry. I got it.â You pivoted on one heel and turned your back to him, starting towards your car. Before you got there, you called out over your shoulder. âAnd if you leave me another pathetic voicemail, Iâll throw my answering machine through your window.â
Then you drove off, leaving him standing where you left him, just as alone as youâd felt all this time.
--
#eddie munson#eddie x reader#eddie stranger things#eddie x you#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x f!reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things fanfic#fanfic#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things#angst#hurt/no comfort
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A Canaryâs Final Flight
My piece for @trafficzine 4th edition! Get it for free here! 200 pages of excellent art and fics, incredible work from all participants and from the mods especially!! huge shoutout to the mods for real
Process notes under the cut! (I struggled a lot so it's a bit of a novel)
So the entire process was a Ride. I knew when I picked this prompt that I was going to have a hard time, because Jimmyâs final death had been illustrated a billion times over by extremely talented artists. But I had a Vision of the snapshot of the second before the impact, when everything is still but you know whatâs about happen. It was very much inspired by the clip of Fog by Jabberwocky, bu the thing is, they have the advantage of all the build up of the fall, and thatâs when the trouble started.
This was my first version, and obviously it wasn't working. And I was trying so hard, with so many iterations! Small wings, big wings, no wings, different poses, less backgrounds elements. I'd done compositions were everything seemed peaceful but something is Wrong, but it wasn't working this time.
So instead I focused on what rendering I'd like to do - I tried a painterly approach, for that visceral feeling, but it wasn't working either (but hey, I did keep the red sky, so, progress)
At this point I'd been doing back and forths for weeks and I was just as lost as at the start. Now that's my tip for people who make art of any kind, in situations like that, stop thinking about how you can make the best piece possible, and think about you can have fun with it (because when you aren't it's visible). And for that was, 1 - going back to using ink and pen nibs and doing way too detailed inking, and 2- looking at Dave McKean's covers for Sandman (which, funnily enough, was also a reference for my previous trafficzine piece)
And from there I was actually going somewhere! Between the jagged rocks, the red sky, and the increased verticality with the borders, I had hit the vibes I wanted.
I did some experimentation with the border, and even though I really liked the bad boys I drew they were taking too much away from the lonely desolation, so I actually used Red (Unecessary Redstone)'s idea of all of Jimmy's worldy's possessions scattered on the ground post impact, with the idea to make it looks like the central image is his grave being dug.
(and yes for a short amount of time the were supposed to be clock markings on the sun, but there was already enough going with the wings so I scrapped that) (also fun fact the reason why the wings aren't fully material but more ghostly is because my toddler cousin was watching me draw the very first draft and asked why he didn't just use his wings and i went :( so the wings are a metaphor now)
So from there I found a bunch of picture and took some myself, cut and assembled everything together, added shadows in all the appropriate places, and repainted some elements so that everything would look better intergrated (some of the wheats are basically 100% handpainted, the cardboard as well). This took a suprisingly long amount of time, but I was done!
Well I wasn't expecting to have that much to say, but I hope if you're still reading, it was at least interesting!
#trafficzine#limited life#limlife#limlife fanart#jimmy solidarity fanart#solidaritygaming#i forgot all the tags augh#curse of not posting often#mcyt fanart#mcyt#zine illustration#zines#my art
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TGCF couples at the beach
Because i want to go to the beach so bad rn
HuaLian:
Hua Cheng isnt too fond of the sun or the water but gege said he'd like to go so they're going.
Everything is fancy and luxurious, only the best for gege.
A large beach bed with a canopy, drinks and snacks served at all times, the whole nine yards.
He wears those fancy sunscreen lotions with foreign names cause he may be dead but he also burns easily and turns into a big baby about it.
Xie Lian insists they dont need to do all that and can just chill in the sand with a towel, which Hua Cheng finds preposterous.
They have a big ass umbrella over the canopy bed too cause the sun is a deadly laser.
So much affection - cuddling, kissing, being all sweet and lovey, feeding each other watermelon and gathering seashells
Theyre sickeningly sweet
Hua Cheng is able to keep his hands to himself for about 5 seconds max
If there are any noisy kids or families around, Hua Cheng sends Yin Yu to scare them off
(They take Yin Yu with for this express purpise but hey free all inclusive vacation, a win is a win)
Xie Lian never burns ever and refuses to wear sunscreen. Hua Cheng pouts about it because 1) dont want gege to get a sunburn and 2) cant teasingly rub lotion over him smh
Hua Cheng builds one of those fancy sand statues of Xie Lian and he thinks its the most romantic thing ever
It is
So many kisses in the water and swimming together all lovey
Hua Cheng is never seen not drinking a margarita
"You do not need to keep your swim trunks that low, San Lang." "Gege, tan lines are terrible."
BeefLeaf
SQX cant get He Xuan out of the water once they arrive to the beach. Nope. That is his habitat now. He belongs to the fishes.
SQX rents out beach chairs by the bar because how can one tan without a drink in hand?
Skimpy swimsuits because SQX also abides by the tan lines are the devil mentality
Manages to get He Xuan out of the water with the promise of ice cream
Talking shit about everyone around while eating ice cream and drinking martinis
So many seashells. He Xuan gives them to SQX as an offering aw
"XuanXuan you cant drown people that say indecent things about me!" "Who says" "the law??"
He Xuan brings SQX little fish he catches if they look colorful or pretty
"XuanXuan, put some tanning oil on my back!" And He Xuan spends like 10 mins trying to find the correct bottle because SQX brought like 50 and the tanning oil SQX wants looks like literally every other bottle there
So many selfies
He Xuan digs tunnels in the sand whenever he isnt in the water. SQX has to talk him into not using the Earth Master shovel
Theyre checking out hot people together
He Xuan puts on sunglasses to pretend he isnt staring at SQX
"XuanXuan you cant throw jellyfish at children!!"
SQX flirts their way into free drinks and He Xuan broods about it but also he is deeply in debt so he can't turn down free shit lmao
FengQing
Arguing, so much arguing, but hey thats their love language
"Thats a shit spot for a towel" "okay find a better one then" "here!" "Thats like a foot away whats the difference??"
Feng Xin refuses to put on sunscreen cause he thinks its not manly
"You cant beat the fucking sun, Feng Xin!"
Mu Qing refuses to get his hair wet. Feng Xin makes it a point to dunk him in the water at least once
Feng Xin falls asleep in the sun like an old man and Mu Qing draws dicks on him with sunscreen lmfao
They argue about who goes to get drinks and snacks and just end up going together
Feng Xin insists to exclusively drink beer until he tries one of Mu Qing's deadly cocktail combinations and hes hooked. He insists they add a little umbrella to his drink now so he and Mu Qing match
Sand castles competition turned chasing into the waves turned underwater kisses
Mu Qing judges everyone and Feng Xin cant help adding in to the commentary because its surprisingly entertaining
Beach sports! Theyre so competitive too so its extra fun and they make bets over everything
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We need dating remus lupin general headcanons with YOUR wonderful writing. Please. đ«¶đ»
I don't know if this is my best work - but hopefully this is what you were looking for. Thanks for being here with me <3
Dating Remus Lupin Headcanons
This man was completely oblivious to the draw he had on other people â including you. His quiet, sarcastic, mischievous but kind persona meant he had a lot of admirers that he never did anything aboutÂ
I fully believe Remus Lupin was the biggest flirt without necessarily realizing it (or if he did realize it, it wasnât a conscious action - he really didnât mean to be flirty, he just was)
Also donât believe he knew how fuckinâ hot he was: denim jackets, oversized cardigans and knitted jumpers, converse, beanies - like he always looked so comfortable and casual but so put together despite of it?
Stealing his clothes is actually a dream of mine â his denim jacket with patches sewed on and a hole or two????? Need it
Curling up in one of his sweaters and warm socks by the fire? Fuckinâ hellÂ
His friends knew better than to ever try to (outwardly) set him up with anyone since he was so damn stubborn, so they would just happen to be in the library at the same time as you [the person theyâd seen him bantering with in class time and time again] and also just happen to say hey and decide to catch up with you and then also just happen to sit at your table since they were already standing here talking to you anyway.
Forced library dates that neither of you really realized were dates, courtesy of his friendsÂ
Remus caught on after a little while what his friends were trying to do, but didnât mention anything in case you hadnât realized yourself; he wouldnât want to embarrass you
And welcome to the one thing we all sort of hate about Remus Lupin: he of course believed nothing would/could/should ever come about between the two of you
I believe him to be somewhat flighty â the second he realizes heâs falling for you, or, God forbid, realizes youâre falling for him â he hightails itÂ
Not for long though, I really donât see James Potter letting him get away with that (Remus is stubborn so he gets âhis wayâ for at least a little before James forces the two of your out of your mutual misery)
I think you guys would grow closer and closer without ever actually saying anything about it:
Sitting beside each other would turn into leaning against one another
Leaning against one another would become the odd cuddle sessionÂ
Walking together to class would turn into a gentle hand on the small of your back guiding you through the castle (but also to keep you close) [this is that mentioned unknowingly flirty side]Â
Hand on the small of your back would turn into his arm around your shoulder or your hand in hisÂ
And he would prefer it this way, afraid that saying anything would make it too real (flighty), or, that you would deny having feelings for him and that would hurt in an entirely different way
You tried to be okay with it â to pretend that you were satisfied with whatever Remus was willing to give you because, come on, he was one of the most popular boys in school, he was the most well-liked Marauder, he was super smart and a powerful wizard, and he was so sweet to you.
But after a while, you couldnât deny how much this unspoken space between you was weighing on you â particularly the somewhat routine periods where heâd completely shut you out
Was it you? Had you done something?Â
Was he seeing someone else?
Were you just imaging this whole âthingâ between you?
Heâd get increasingly agitated â almost like he simultaneously wanted you closer to him and further away from him; youâd never know how to help him in these moments
Heâd speak more sharply to you, spoke less in general, and downplayed your friendship/relationship when other people would comment on itÂ
âWeâre not even that close, we just study together sometimesâ you head him say to Marlene McKinnon
âItâs not like thatâ he told Benjy Fenwick when he asked if you two were datingÂ
âSheâs just a friend.â Heâd said to Sirius, and that one hurt because why would he lie to his best friend? And what about you made it so difficult to see you as more than a friend?
Maybe you really had completely imagined the whole thing in your mind? Maybe he really didnât care for you at all.
You began to pull away â less study dates, more excuses as to why you couldnât meet up after class, sitting with Lily or Mary at quidditch games instead, staying at Hogwarts on Hogsmeade weekends â anything to avoid having to face the friend that you quickly realized you were halfway in love with who never even gave you a second thought
He did give you a second thought, though â in fact, he gave you a first thought as well as a third, fourth, fifth and sixth
âDo you think I did something to offend Y/N?â He asked James and Sirius one day â the two exchanged a knowing lookÂ
âWhy do you ask?â James asked with a smirk
âI think she might be avoiding me.â
âDoes that bother you, Moons?â
Remus scoffed âof course it bothers meâ
âI thought she was just a friend?â Sirius taunted
âSod off...â
Remus couldnât ignore it anymore â you werenât just a friend. Never could be in his mind, he doubts. He would be your friend for the rest of your life if thatâs all you ever wanted from him â but heâd probably always hold a candle for you; thatâs why this divot you seemed to be carving between you two hurt like hell
He decides to do something very un-Remus like and face this head on (thoughts and prayers)
âHey Y/Nâ he said gently as he approached your table in the libraryÂ
You seemed surprised at seeing him and started packing your things up
âOh, hi Remus...â and the lack of your usual âhey Remâ furthered his suspicions. âI was just finishing up, actually.â
âHave I done something to upset you?â He blurted suddenly. His assertiveness threw you off kilter â was he...talking? About feelings? You paused in your haste to pack your things
âNo?â you said in the form of a question â you knew he picked up on it when the space between his eyebrows dwindledÂ
âAre you sure? I just feel like youâve been avoiding me lately.â
You were starting to get frustrated. âWhat do you want, Remus?â You asked sharply. He winced.
âI just miss you, is all.â He admitted quietly as he played with a fray on his sweater between his tantalizingly long fingers.
âWhat exactly about me do you miss, Remus? You have plenty of friends; I hardly see how Sirius, James or Peter canât fill the same role.â
He guffaws â actually guffawed! The bastard. âWhat are you on about?â
âWhat are you on about, Lupin? Iâm tired; Iâm tired of being called a friend while you keep me closer. Iâm tired of feeling like Iâm being played by arguably the most important person in my life. Iâm fucking exhausted â so tell me exactly what youâre âon aboutâ Remus, and make it count because Iâm done.â
âNo! No, not done; donât be done.â
âWhat do you want, Remus.â You whispered dismally.Â
âYou.â He whispered back
âDonât fuck with me, Lupin.â
He couldnât help but chuckle at you a little bit. âIâm not. Iâm not, I swear it â Iâm sorry if youâve felt played by me. Iâm sorry if Iâve made you feel anything but loved because... because I do â I love you.â
âLove me?â
âLove you. So much.â He professed as he dared to step closer to you. When you didnât seem entirely averse to his proximity, he moved to close the gap â enveloping you in a long-needed hug. âIâm sorry.â He apologized again.
âYou should beâ you murmured petulantly from his chest.
He chuckled and pressed his lips to the top of your head âlet me make it up to you?â
And he did â you spent that evening on the astronomy tower, enjoying the view of the stars as they melted into the forbidden forest along the horizon and the rest of the Hogwarts grounds â and he told you his secret, that he was a werewolf
You were the first person he willingly told â James, Sirius, and Peter just figured it out on their own and there was no hiding from them
You were the first person he chose to let in â so uncharacteristic of the lycanthrope, but that just went to show how serious he was about making it up to you and garnering your trust
This changed everythingÂ
There was no more pushing you away near full moons, in fact â he got nearly downright territorialÂ
No one else was allowed to sit beside you â that was Remusâ spot
He was irritable and snappy with everyone, but instinctively melted at the sight of you
âI canât believe we survived Moony all these years without Y/N â sheâs like a sedativeâ Peter muttered as he picked up the cards Remus had thrown at him in a fit during their game of exploding snap. There was no sign of that Moony now â smiling down at you as you sat curled up in his lap like he had nowhere else heâd rather be
I believe Remus was the king of trinkets â his dorm was littered with little bits and bobs he found that he thought were cool/interesting
He started gifting you little things once you began datingÂ
An enamel pin that made him think of youÂ
A small pewter wolfÂ
A cool rock that he thought looked like the colour of your eyes (you didnât see it, but who were you to argue?)Â
Little themed snow globes
Flowers he found on his walksÂ
Pretty beads/crystalsÂ
Tealight candle holdersÂ
The ribbon from a box of chocolates he got from his mum that he thought you would like
Acts. Of. Service. This man didnât come from money, the way he saw his dad spoiling his mum was through his actions â so this caring attitude came super naturally to himÂ
Fixing up your tea/coffee the way you like before youâve even thought about itÂ
Carrying your bags/books for youÂ
âYour shoeâs untied, dovey. Give âer here.â He said as he patted his thigh for you to place your foot so he could tie it for you
If you got sick/under the weather, heâd totally do your homework for you (his friends have done the same for him due to the moons â pay it forward)
I think heâd be so soft and needy after a moon â just melt into whatever love and care youâre willing to show him; give you complete control and take care of him.
It may have been super hard to get Remus to give love a chance â but once you got it, you were stuck with him because he was not going anywhereÂ
Loyal to a faultÂ
Heâs so afraid of losing good things that heâs willing (and desperate) to do anything and everything he can to keep it [i.e., you]
Thankfully, you make it very easy to do <3Â
#marauders era#marauders fanfiction#ask elle#self insert#reader insert#remus lupin#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#dating Remus Lupin headcanons#dating remus lupin#remus lupin imagine#the marauders#marauders#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fanfiction#ellecdc fics
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It's Supposed to Be Fun
(a letter to my friends in the twst fandom)
I've been wanting to make this post for a while and these thoughts may seem scattered but Iâm gonna try to express them.Â
Lately, I have seen many friends and moots that either are leaving the fandom or feel guilty over not having posted in a while or losing interest in twst. On the other side, I also have friends being harassed.
This a reminder to remember why you joined this community to begin with. I know that keeping up with the fast-moving pace of fandom and comparing ourselves to others, can skew our perspective on these things.
Itâs supposed to be fun.Â
Why do we post art or write? Sure, partly for recognition, there's no denying that. But, why do we create, I mean really? For enjoyment. Not for others, not to be âpopularâ FOR JOY.
So, whether youâre dealing with people critiquing you or feeling guilty about not creating. My question is this: Why waste so much of your time on something that makes you miserable?
Did it stop being fun? Why? Haters? Loss of interest?
To my friends who feel guilty for not creating and not sure if they lost interest in twst:Â
Donât feel guilty. At one time, the creation of your twst content was natural. It's what you did for fun with friends or for yourself. Revisit that mindset and think - if creating twst content now will bring that same joy it did before.
If the answer is no, then maybe itâs time to pivot. Itâs okay for interests to fade. It doesnât mean that time, memories, or the friends you made are lost. Connect with your friends, we will understand! We still love you! It's not a race there's no time limit, just pick up were you want to. Draw fanart of old events or OCs.
To my friends who have been harassed:Â
I say this with sincerityâŠ. People who harass others over fictional characters are fucking losers.
Like⊠Thereâs no other eloquent way to encapsulate it. Iâm starting to not care for the reason anymore - If you harass or be shady to others over a ship or fictional character. CONGRATS! YOU ARE A LOSER.
We all join fandoms as a hobby, for fun. Weâre all just kids in the sandbox playing pretend again⊠and if you are the type of person to go up just to âkick the doll out of someoneâs hand" or make commentary on how âtheir way of playing is wrong." Youâre a loser. I have a life outside of twst, we all do. Someone saying my ship is wrong or cringe is just so laughable to me. We have to make fun of these people more for being so goddamn lame.
Imagine being so unhappy that when you see someone having fun you HAVE to comment on it. By all means, if it gets you through the day...talk shit to close friends or even post about it on your own blog. (THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED.) Don't bother creators directly. Don't be a loser. I sure see tolerance leave peopleâs bodies when they see a fandom opinion they don't like. (And this is coming from someone who has lots of opinions on these things! But that's why I always put the disclaimers that, hey this is just MY opinion.)
Discussion is one thing, unhelpful comments are another. We shouldnât give these people the time of day. Curate your online space. Yes, when you post things online you are subjecting yourself to scrutiny. But, we as creators need to stop letting these people have power over us. Period. We do this for free!! FOR FUN. The best thing you can do is create shamelessly.
Delete weird replies, block whoever you need to do to rid yourself of these people who have nothing better to do. Keep your peace. Itâs supposed to be for fun. You donât owe anyone a response.
The twst fandom is like a little family to me and I guess I feel protective over the people in it? I have made many friends and memories because I joined it. And even dispite a handful of the negative experiences (AKA: A couple of âlosers" that Iâve had to deal with.) Iâll always look fondly back on this time.
The key for me has always been to justâŠcreate for myself. I originally made bunnwich for me and one friend to make fun little arts about our Yuuâs and now I get to have lots of friends to share it with! Iâve transitioned from an OC blog to probably more of an Oc x Canon blogâŠbut I donât care tbh. I justâŠdraw what I feel like. I know there are people who probably dislike me for that or feel strange about my content and thatâs fine. Iâm still gonna keep drawing it, loser. Â
And I just want you guys to do the same, twst or not.
I canât forget that all my followers and friends are a bonus, if I had never joined tumblr Iâd still be drawing the silly shit I draw in peace. And while yes, I do want to grow as an artist and sell more merch and keep growing... I canât forget my initial excitement for this silly little game. I like to talk about it. I like to write about it. It inspires me.
Itâs supposed to be fun. Please remember that. I know it can be discouraging to have others being shitty to you. Or going through a creative drought. But, try not to let this stop you from creating what you love.
#Anyways just had to get this out#feel free to ignore#I love you guys alot and idk if this is helpful but I hate to see you guys upset#ren speaksđ±#twst
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hey, long time admirer of your stuff! ive just been wondering, though, how exactly do you do your eyes? like.. obviously they're different from character to character, but how do you usually form them and whatnot?
thank you ! - đ„
heya thank you :) it's been a while since i answered one of these in depth but for you good anon i will try my best..... Here's the simple answer:
Here is some more thought-process/behind the scenes stuff:
Obviously head angle determines many things about drawing eyes; I've been trying harder to keep it in mind when I'm putting lines down, and it'll generally make them look more grounded/offer better depth. The main takeaway from head angle is how are the eye sockets oriented. Doing drawovers of photographs is a cheap+easy way to get a feel for this, but I wouldn't worry about 100% anatomical accuracy; what I'm trying to get a feel for is the placement of eyes versus the brow/nose bridges.
The amount of detail I put into eyes is wildly inconsistent haha it rly depends on the piece and art style, but the (for lack of a better word) "definition lines" and spots of black in deep shadow make up most of the detailed stuff. I'm still not great at drawing massively distinctive eye shapes but I try to maintain a general sense of one for different faces (ex. Rectangular, narrow, round, angled up or down). I'll also be the first to admit it takes a lot of conscious thought to reproduce the same line variation/angles in someone's eyes each time you draw them, but if you're looking for advice on consistency those are examples of traits I'd keep in mind.
That's it for the most part.... I don't think the way I draw eyes is particularly unique lol so here are a few things that have gotten me where I am:
other people's art, a lot of which is manga. when I say naruto taught me to draw im only half joking hwheeze. my art tastes lean towards manga/comic stylization so none of this is hugely realistic overall....
that being said, I do like the more realistic side of manga/comic art so photo studies/anatomy tips have still been useful to me
this tutorial by sinix is one of my favorite things ever, because it explicitly discusses both anatomical knowledge AND how to translate that into shorthand
thanks for the ask!
#asks#anonymous#art asks#i've had zero time to draw hence the no posting ...... i miss her...#making this was a very nice break from the everything else :')
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I'm sorry to be making a post like this asking for help, but I'm currently between housing situations and that's put me between jobs, so I've been trying to take a couple commissions to try to keep myself from getting into my savings for moving out of state, but I've dipped lower in my funds than I'm comfortable with when I have limited ways of recovering since I'm still struggling with being able to draw regularly.. I'm burnt out and stressed and not being able to push myself to draw regularly is frustrating beyond words both because I need money and also just.. I miss drawing and having fun with it
I'm sorry I'm rambling, I just don't really know how to go "hey can I have help", basically I just need some help getting my funds up a little so I can comfortably get some food, more shampoo and body wash, and possibly some of those plastic drawers so I can put my clothes in them for the next couple months instead of just keeping everything in a suitcase
I'm going to keep trying to get back into the swing of drawing, and hopefully then I'll be able to make a proper commissions post or something so I can better offer something in exchange for help, but just for the moment I'll be at least offering thank you doodles for anything over 20- just leave a note saying what character I know that you'd like to see and I'll do my best
#god i have no idea how to tag this#i hate that i just asked for help earlier this year and now im doing it again#i just need to get back into the swing of drawing#i really really miss having fun drawing#hopfully in a couple months things will even out#mint rambles
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Hey I liked that fic you did on pervy megumi †could you do it with yuji but make it a little sweeter â€â€ty
Ahh I'm sorry this took so long because for the first time in history this is slightly more edited. I tried sweeter but honestly at this point I think i'm incapable of affection. I tried *sigh* sorry bout that.
Pervy Yuji (thoughts)
TW: pervert. Obsessed (Mildly) Some weird non consented touches but not smut. (or spicy sorry guys.)
No surprise that Yuji just can't get enough of you.
Every moment, ever opportunity, he takes it.
Y/N wanna train together? Y/N wanna study together?
Y/N Gojo sensei is making us pick partners for the sister school even, wanna be mine?
Its not just being together but also distance.
The fact that every training session ends a little too close together.
"Yuji your squishing me." You muffled trapped under Yuji's body...again.
"Ah sorry Y/N! I lost my footing there and couldn't keep my balance."
Out of training to.
"Sorry Y/n the train is getting a little crowded" he said trying to hide his face in his collar.
"Its not your fault Yuji"
Every bump of the train you felt his hand on places you usually would hit someone's hand away from... Good thing he looked so innocent or you wouldn't have brushed it off so easily.
But every time you brushed it off. Yuji is just trying his best you know? He's Sukuna's vessel and never even knew about curses until now, you had to cut him some slack.
Even if it had nothing to do with the Jujutsu world.
"Hey Yuji, did you happen to get my laundry by accident? I can't find it anywhere and Megumi said you were there last."
"Oh uh I can check but if it's not here do you need help looking?"
"Uh- thanks but no, its just some...it would be embarrassing I guess. You know what never mind I probably just misplaced it again sorry." You sigh and walk out the room.
It happens more often then you liked. Some clothes of yours would go missing and then you would find them where you last left them or in a basket near the laundry.
If only you checked his lower dresser draw filed with some of you clothes.
When they lose their scent they get put back and so the cycle continues.
"Your sick. And that's coming from me. The king of curses, I kill and eat people and i'm telling you your sick ha." Sukuna chuckled in his head.
"Shut up. Like you would understand." Yuji said climbing down from a tree across from your window.
THANK YOU FOR READING âĄ
AUTHOURS NOTE: Omg I wrote this so long ago but it didn't save. But it's okay because I re-wrote it and it's way better now. Trust me (even tho the ending sucks a bit). Anyways have a good whatever time of day.
#jujutsu itadori#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#yuji itadori x reader#yuji x reader
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Please đđ» please đđ» please đđ» can I get your thoughts on yandere dom Hal JordanâŒïž
Begging on my knees âïžâïž
đđđđđđđ đđđ đđđ đđđđđđâŠ
!!! 18+ THEMES, GN reader, heavy non-con elements, coercion, mentions of manipulation/intimidation/threats/kidnapping, semi-public, jealousy, possessiveness, biting, slightest mention of a possible cannibalism kink, brief daddy/sir kink, praise, degradation, angry sex, rough sex, somno, cockwarming, Hal is a menace to society and absolutely disgusting (I say as I drool over him).
This ask is giving me psychic damage in the best way possible.
Hal does not take ânoâ for an answer. It doesnât matter if his charm and charisma doesnât work on you; heâll find a way. Maybe he just needs to sprinkle in a little manipulation, or somehow scare you into his welcoming arms. Is that also not working? Hm, as much as he hates being the bad guy, heâs not afraid to use intimidation and threats towards you if the ends justify the means. Still not working? Well, damn. Guess he has to kidnap you. And to think this all couldâve been avoided if you hadnât been so difficult.
This man is absolutely shameless, unable to keep his hands off you even in public. Yes, it gets ten times worse when heâs jealous. If it comes down to it, he absolutely will drag you off for a quick fuck. Does that make him a tiny bit possessive? Maybe. But, hey, for what itâs worth, heâs great with his mouth. Your pleasure usually comes before his; itâs the least he could do before he fucks you into oblivion.
Halâs definitely a biter. There, I said it. And not just little nips, either. Iâm talking full-on teeth marks on your shoulder, deep enough to bruise or even draw blood. This kind of goes hand in hand with his possessive side and maybe a hint of a cannibalism kink?? We donât have time to unpack that, so weâll leave it at what I know for sure: Hal Jordan thinks itâs very hot when you have bite marks all over your body. Especially when youâre wearing his jacket over them.
And if I say daddy kink, will yâall come after me? Cuz, yes, Hal is disgusting like that. Heâd be over the moon if you hit him with the d-word. But, hey, heâll take a âyes, sirâ or âno, sirâ just fine, too. Compromise, amiright?
When it comes to dirty talk, Hal can dish out praises and degrading comments equally. I think it depends on how much coercion he had to do; heâll praise you if you took the easy way, degrade you if you took the hard way. Simple as that. Though this also depends on what youâre into. Again, your pleasure usually comes before his, so he makes mental notes on what you like.
Speaking of coercion though, remember that Hal doesnât take ânoâ for an answer. Your choices are the following: accept his advances, or be forced to accept his advances. Should he need to force you a little, heâll start off encouraging (âitâs okay, Iâll make you feel good, I promiseâ), then get a little more pushy (âcome on, you know better than thisâ), until heâll eventually just take what he wants (âhey. Stop struggling. I donât wanna hurt youâ). While he somewhat recognizes what heâs doing is wrong, he easily justifies it by reminding himself it was your choice to do this the hard way.
âShh, everything will be fine, babe. Just let me take care of you. Yeah, there you go⊠you put up one hell of a fight. Iâm sure youâre tired.â
God, he is an absolute menace when he wants to be. Should you ever piss him off, thereâs a chance heâll fuck his frustrations into you. This man has enough stamina to go for a long time, so I wouldnât recommend testing him. Unless if youâre fine with not being able to walk for a couple of days. Then go for it!! Itâs your call.
If youâre into that, a good way to piss him off is trying to weasel out of his grip. Hal always has an arm around you, be it in public, around the house, while you sleep⊠bro just canNOT let go. I think heâs secretly insecure about you running off, so for you to feed into that? Yeah, no. Not a good idea. Unless, again, thatâs what youâre going for. Then itâs a great idea!!
Yâall, Iâm gonna be honest. You may wake up in the middle of the night to him fucking you. He just canât help himself, okay?? He didnât want to wake you, and hey, what you donât know wonât hurt you, right? Just know that if you catch his freaky ass doing this, he will feel absolutely no guilt. I mean, why would he? Weâre already past the point of shame. If anything, heâll double down and whisper nasty shit in your ear until he cums. And, yes, heâll stay inside of you til the morning. Good olâ cockwarming.
Oh, yeah. Cockwarming. Heâs big into that. And itâs lowkey not even a sexual thing; he just really likes the intimacy. Itâs very common for him to be inside you while the two of you watch TV, your back pressed against his chest as he leaves gentle kisses on your neck. This is when Hal shows his softer side, even going as far as resisting the urge to bite you!! What a big step for him!!
All in all, yan Hal is a mixed bag. As long as youâre compliant and donât go out of your way to make things hard for him, Iâd say heâs pretty mild. Itâs just that his sex drive is through the roof, especially after long missions. Does he bring you with him to space? You know what, probably. He just wants to be near you, okay? Or, actually, maybe itâs more of the other way around; he wants you near him. The specifics are important.
But yeah. Good luck covering up those bite marks!! Hal likes to leave them in obvious places on purpose (heâs an asshole like that).
#â„ CALL INCOMING: DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES?#â„ TW: YANDERE#â„ ROMANTIC YANDERE#â„ YANDERE HAL JORDAN#â„ DOM HAL JORDAN#â„ YANDERE HAL JORDAN X READER#â„ GN READER#â„ SUB READER
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Okay, silly ask and you can decline if you donât do the pregnancy stuff! But I was thinking a Crosshair x reader where they were an item pre-O66, and then the Kaller and brainwashing happened and they went separate ways because, ya know, chip went: âyo kill your brothers those hoes ainât loyal.â While theyâre separated, reader finds out sheâs pregnant, and Crosshair only finds out when he lures the rest of the batch back to Kamino and theyâre in that training room.
(Bonus if the rest of the batch only found out semi-recently too because readerâs mentality was âokay, Iâm pregnant, no biggie. Iâll tell them later when it actually becomes an issueâ and Tech figured it out right away but never said anything either)
That's What Family Does
Summary: Being pregnant sucks. Being pregnant with the baby of a man whoâs actively hunting the people keeping you safe is worse. The fact that you still love him is just the icing on the âbad yearâ cake. Still, you probably should have listened to Hunter when he told you to stay on the Marauder rather than risk Crosshair seeing you. Ah well, youâve never been the best at listening.
Pairing: TBB Crosshair x F!Reader
Word Count: 1771
Warnings: Pregnancy and Childbirth, and complicated relationships
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly @kimiheartblade @mire-draws-things
A/N: So, I know next to nothing about childbirth, on account that I'm both childfree and infertile, so it's never been something that I had to worry about. So I did almost no research on this topic. Also, I've still never watched TBB, so I played around with...everything. But this has also been half-written for the better part of two weeks, and I just needed inspiration to strike me. Anyway, I hope you like it!
âYou just had to come with us, didnât you?â Hunter hisses as he shoves you behind Wrecker, âWhy donât you ever listen?â
âBecause youâre not my mother,â You hiss right back at him, as you grab the over-large shirt that Echoâs been trying to shove over your head for the last five minutes and pull it on. It doesâŠvery little to hide your stomach. But then, the boys, and Omega, have only recently found out about your pregnancy. And only because you finally started showing and couldnât hide it anymore.
Needless to say, Hunter and Echo werenât thrilled about the sudden surprise. Wrecker was torn between excitement and dismay. And OmegaâŠwell, sheâs been bubbling with excitement since she found out.
âGreat, now we have to keep anyone from finding out that you are 8 months pregnant with a clone baby.â Hunter grouses, âOmega, stay with her.â
Omega nods rapidly, and wraps her arms around you, âIâll bite anyone who tries to touch her.â
Absently, you pet Omegaâs head and glare at Hunter, âWell, if you donât say the words âcloneâ and âbabyâ next to each other, no one will ever know.â
âYes, because your relationship with Crosshair was the best-kept secret on Kamino,â Hunter replies, deadpan, âthereâs absolutely no way that anyone will ever figure out that you're pregnant with his baby.â
âOkay, tone down the sass, Mister. Itâs not helping.â
Hunter grabs your shoulders, âYou irk me. Youâre irksome.â
âHey! Iâm pregnant, you canât talk to me like that!â
For a moment, you think Hunter is going to shake you, but he stops when Tech taps his back, âHe is here.â
Abruptly, youâre shoved back behind Wrecker and Echo, nearly tripping over Omega whoâs still wrapped around you, and you only manage to catch a glimpse of Crosshair.Â
His face is pinched and angry-looking, and you see his hand twitching towards his blaster.
Oh, you really hope that this doesnât turn into a firefight. You donât want to have to explain to your baby how they donât have a dad because he got himself killed.
That would be awkward.
The nice thing is youâve sped through all five stages of grief, and have just accepted that Crosshair isnât the man you thought he was. And here you thought you were going to need, like, so much therapy to come to terms with it.
âHunter.â Crosshairâs voice is cold. Colder than youâve ever heard before.Â
âCross,â Hunter sounds tense, and you feel a pang of guilt. He wouldnât be half as stressed if you and Omega just stayed on the ship. If you get out of this alive, and, you know, not a prisoner of the Empire, you should make him some apology cookies.
Thereâs a tense silence and Wrecker adjusts his weight slightly. You can tell by his body language, Echoâs too, that if this turns violent, the pair of them will remove you and Omega from the scene. Then again, that does tend to be their job most of the time.
âI assume youâre here to surrender.â Crosshair says. You know him better than anyone, you can tell he doesnât believe a word coming out of his mouth.Â
Hesitantly, you peek around Wrecker and Crosshair sees you immediately. His sharp gaze lingers on you for a moment, and you see something like regret flicker across his face, though it vanishes as soon as Echo shoves you back behind Wrecker.Â
âYou have to leave the doctor behind,â Crosshair says flatly.
âNo,â Tech says immediately.
âShe belongs to the Empire.â
âTechnically, my contract is with the Republââ You counter, indignently.
âStop talking!â Hunter, Tech, and Echo say in unison and you close your mouth without finishing your thought.
Hunter glances at you, and then at Crosshair, âSheâs not a slave, Crosshair. She can come and go as she pleases.â
You can hear the argument continuing in the background, but youâre not really listening anymore.
Something doesnât feel right.
And then youâre slammed with a cramp so intense that your legs nearly buckle. Your hand lands heavily on Omegaâs shoulder and you exhale sharply. âAre you okay?â The little girl whispers, doing her best to not draw too much attention to herselfâŠor you.
âWe need to get back to the Marauder.â You say though clenched teeth.
âThatâs the plan, butââ
âMeg.â You interrupt her, âIâm pretty sure Iâve just gone into labor.â You keep your voice very, very calm, not wanting to scare her, but she stares at you with wide eyes.
âWHAT!?â The men stop arguing at Omegaâs panicked shout and turn towards her. âYouâŠyou canât! Itâs too early! Youâre only 8 months!â Omega continues, her voice pitching high in her panic.
You donât answer her. Canât answer her, really, because youâre too busy trying to breathe through the waves of pain that kind of make you want to cry, scream, and throw up all at the same time.
Youâre pretty sure youâd sell all of the clones on Kamino for some pain medicine.
Youâre also pretty sure that thatâs the pain talking and youâll feel bad for having that thought as soon as youâre no longer in labor.
The waves of pain fade enough for you to recognize that your boys are in the middle of panicking around you. Panicking and not helping you.
Great.
Lovely.
Super.
You reach out and grab Wreckerâs forearm, âI need to get to a bed, preferably on the Marauder, because if I have to give birth in a training room, Iâm going to murder all of you.â You say through gritted teeth.
And then Crosshair is there, his gaze lingering on your stomach, and if you were feeling even remotely charitable youâd say that he looks guilty and hurt.
But, youâre in so much pain right now that you really couldnât care less.
âWhy didnât you tell me you were pregnant?â He asks.
You grab him by the collar of his armor, âI am in the process of pushing a watermelon out a hole the size of a lemon. And itâs all your fault.â You snap, âI need to get to the Marauder.â
â...you know it takes two people to make a baby, kittenââ
The string of curses that fall from your lips after his comment, is enough that the boys push themselves into high gear and then rush you back to the ship.Â
24 hours of hard labor later, your babies are finally here.
And you finally know why you went into labor early.
Turns out you were pregnant with twins. Twin girls, to be specific.
Right now theyâre sleeping in a cradle that Echo stole from Kamino, wrapped in a black and a red blanket specifically.
So far, Hunter, Echo, Wrecker, Tech, and Omega have come to meet the babies. But no Crosshair, though you know heâs still on the ship.
Hunter said that Crosshair refused to leave while you were still in labor. And now that theyâre born, he wants to raise them with you.
Itâs a nice thought, you suppose. Aside from the whole âwanting to kill his brothersâ thing.
Plus, he still hasnât come to meet the babies.
You tilt your head to the side as one of the babies yawns widely and then falls back to sleep. You hear the door slide open and then shut again. When you look up, you see Crosshair standing, awkwardly, at the door.
Heâs dressed in his blacks and isnât armed.
Hunter probably told him no weapons in the medbay. Heâs a good brother-in-law, youâre lucky to have him.
âTheyâre cute.â Crosshair says as he walks over to the babies and peers down at them.
âThey look like wrinkly potatoes.â You correct.
âI donât think youâre supposed to say that?â
âI just spent 24 hours pushing them out of my vagina. If I want to call them potatoes, then Iâm going to call them potatoes.â
âAh,â Heâs quiet for a moment, âAre youâŠokay? There was a lot of blood, Tech said.â
âYeah, wellâŠhe had a bunch of my blood stored up for this scenario. Just in case.â You admit with a shrug, âIâll recover. Iâm going to be weak for a while though.â
âWhat are you naming them?â
â...I dunno. I was only expecting one baby, not two.â You pull your blanket up higher, âYouâre such an overachiever.â
â...Iâm sorry?â
âWhatever. Iâm too tired to be properly angry.â You pause, âWe are going to have to talk, Crosshair.â
He rubs the back of his head, âYeah. I know.â
âYou walked away.â
âI know.â
âAnd it was easy for you to do. How could it be so easy for you to walk away?â
He sighs, âIâm sorry.â
âWould you have even come with us if I didnât go into labor?â You ask.
Crosshair shakes his head, âI donât know.â He pauses, âYouâre mad.â
âI think I have good cause to be mad, donât you?â
âYeah, I guess.â Heâs quiet for a moment, âA condition of me staying with you and the twins is getting the chip out. And no weapons until theyâre sure that Iâm not going to try to hurt anyone.â
âLet me guessâŠHunter?â
Crosshair nods, âHeâs veryâŠprotective.â
âHe always has been. But Hunter was the one who let me cry on his shoulder when you walked away. He might be a bit angrier at you than anyone else.â
âI didnât mean to make you cry.â
You shrug, âWell, you did.â
The pair of you fall into a, slightly, awkward silence, and then you sigh, âLuna.â
âSorry?â
âThe twin with the silver hair, Iâm going to call her Luna, I think.â Crosshair blinks at you, and then glances at the babies, finally noticing that one of the babies has his coloring, while the other one has yours.
âAnd what about her sister?â
âDonât you want to name one?â
He looks momentarily surprised, and then he glances at the baby who looks like you, âWillow. I want to name her Willow.â
You tilt your head curiously.
Crosshair doesnât acknowledge your silent question for a moment, and then a small smile lifts the corner of his lips, âThe first date we went on was a picnic under a willow tree.â
â...Iâm surprised you remembered that.â
âItâs important.â
You watch him for a moment, and then laugh softly, âAlright. Luna and Willow, then.â You allow your gaze to linger on Crosshair as he looks over the twins, and your smile widens.
The both of you arenât okay. There are a lot of wrongs that need to be righted. ButâŠwell, heâs here. And you canât help but think that thatâs a step in the right direction.
#star wars#tbb#tbb crosshair x reader#crosshair x reader#star wars fanfiction#x reader fanfiction#f!reader fic#answered asks#tw: pregnancy#tw: childbirth
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Bit of a personal update...
Hey everyone!
This is probably not the best way of reaching everyone who has been affected from... well, me being me... but I just wanted it to be out in the open. Because I will be honest, I've been struggling with myself... a lot.
So, in the past, I've made numerous promises. On to do this mod, on replying to you (on Tumblr or discord), on reading awesome stories done by you. But the truth is... I really struggle with keeping up with *everything*.
It's not that I purposely want to ignore anyone. It really isn't that, I just... struggle to get to it. And occasionally when I finally can, I feel exhausted and this husk of a person.
Often how it goes, is that I will think: âAh, person A (that I really like) replied to my message/reply! I'll type something back in 5 minutesâ. And before I know it, I'm in this rabbit hole of getting distracted by YouTube, replying to work messages, this spontaneous weird feeling of wanting to clean my house, do some drawings, reconsider career switch for the 390018849020 time...
Then I lie in bed 2-3 days later to realise that... well, I hadn't done the thing I wanted to do, which was replying to that lovely person.
So, I know this isn't normal. That it's also not normal to have your brain having a song + a foreground thought, plus a background thought, All. The. Flipping. Time. (at least, that's how it feels.).
Just know, I'm trying to be better. I'm also currently trying to get professional help (and a potential ADHD diagnosis) to get a grip, to not feel overwhelmed at the end of the day (and therefore not feeling accomplished at all).
I just felt inclined to say:
I do care. I do care about you and the wonderful things you create and say. I do really love to see what everyone comes up with from that gray ball of mass, to then make something super awesome! Whether it is CC, stories... heck, even pretty pictures! I do care about the conversations I have with you.
For now, I'll take some time off, focusing on bettering myself.
Thank you for reading â„
#I kind of put it off putting this out because I was a bit afraid to come across attention seeking#but at the same time I also felt I was hurting people. So it's only right to talk about my behaviour.#persona#text post#text#random#ramblings
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nsfw alphabet : daryl dixon
ao3 link
character: Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader
warnings: | nsfw(obviously) | swearing | sexual details | mentions of darylâs trauma | intentional lowercase | 18+ |
a/n: recently became obsessed with this man. there arenât enough nsfw alphabets of him so enjoy :)
(not my gif or character)
A- aftercare (what theyâre like after the act)
daryl thinks the aftercare is the best part of it all. it took a while to break down the habit of him just rolling over and falling asleep, but he got there eventually. he holds you and makes sure you're okay, cleaning you up if necessary. he lets you curl up into him, wanting to feel your warm breath on his skin. you listen to each otherâs heartbeats, and drift into an exhausted sleep.
B- body part (their favorite part of both of your bodies)
daryl dixon loves every part of you. he doesnât say that his favorite are your tits or ass, thatâs something merle would say, and it just doesnât sit right with him. instead, he thinks that your eyes are his favorite part of you. he likes that he can communicate with you just through the looks you give each other. he loves that he has to ask you to keep them open and look at him when he's making you feel too good to do so.
your favorite part of daryl are his thighs. big, strong, and sturdy; the perfect seat. his thigh can fit perfectly between your legs, holding your hips with his giant hands. his hands. you suppose that they could also be your favorite.
C- cum (anything to do with it)
since itâs the apocalypse, you and daryl decide that itâs better to be safe and not cum inside you. even though it takes every ounce of his control not to. he opts for pulling out and humming on your stomach instead. but you better prepare for when he finds condoms on a run because he will fuck you like itâs your last time together. which, hey, it could be.
D- dirty secret (self explanatory)
other than wanting to cum inside you, daryl really wants to fuck you alone in the woods, up against a tree. he knows itâs not very practical, especially with the dead walking around. he just canât help but thinking how hot it would be for you to try and be quiet as not to draw in any walkers.Â
E- experience (do they know what theyâre doing)
most of darylâs experience came from random drunk hookups that merle pressured him into before the world ended. it involved dramatic moans from the women, and daryl being too stuck in his head to remember anything else. he was open to you teaching him what felt good, and picked up on it fast. as a hunter, he has always been observant, and that doesnât leave when it comes to your pleasure. he watched every expression, and hears every hitch in your breath to learn what makes you feel good. he asks if you're liking it, which sounds like sinful dirty talk to you.
F- favorite position (self explanatory)
it started out being doggie style, because he just couldn't bear for you to look at him or his scars. but with some gentle begging from you, he decided that he couldn't bear for you to not look at him. missionary is now his favorite, because he can still control the situation, and see the pleasure in your eyes at the same time.
G- goofy (how serious are they)
daryl is obviously very serious when it comes to the outside world, which doesnât really change when it comes to the bedroom. since you managed to relax him and get him comfortable enough around you to break his walls down, he lets little laughs and smiles come through at your jokes, but not without jokingly telling you to stop.
H- hair grooming habits (how much hair do they have down there)
it is the apocalypse, so grooming isnât necessarily the most important. the carpet matches the drapes. plus he doesnât expect you to shave, so why should he? in fact, when you did shave one time, he freaked out and begged you to never do it again(unless you wanted to of course), which warranted a sigh of relief from you. he says that only bitches eat shaved pussy.
I- intimacy (romantic or rough/dirty)
it was always hard for daryl to bring out his romantic side, but he tries so hard for you. he grunts out praises and a little âlove ya sâmuchâ when he cums, letting you know that youâre the only one on his mind.Â
J- jack off (how often do they masturbate)
literally never. it isnât very convenient, and he never really has a high sex drive. when he does get turned on, itâs because youâre right there. no point in taking care of it himself when you're in front of him.
K- kinks (self explanatory)
daryl never got a chance to explore his kinky side before the apocalypse since most of his experience was with women who he didnât trust or love. when he started to trust you in the bedroom(or where the apocalypse allows), you both started to experiment with what you are into.
 -size kink: he loves when you look so small compared to him
 -daddy kink: this one felt weird to him at first since you were younger than him, but he couldnât help the twitch in his dick when you called him that while you were cumming (it is definitely used more after that)
L- location (where they like to get it on)
anywhere that is safe and gives you time to explore each others bodies is his favorite. still, the idea of fucking you in the woods sounds hot to him...
M- motivation (what turns them on)
anytime he sees you taking down walkers, or just overall being badass, he gets a little turned on. also when you look at him with your big doe eyes, he has to control himself from taking you in front of everyone.
N- no (turnoffs or absolutely wonât do)
daryl isn't into hurting you in any way, especially because of what he went through in his childhood. he sees it as somehow becoming like his father, and that is something that he hates. so big no on hurting you, even if he does think you're pretty when you cry.
O- oral (do they prefer receiving or giving)
one of darylâs favorite sights is you on your knees for him, with tears streaming down your face as you try and fit all of him in your mouth. however, that sight can't compare to how you look when heâs between your thighs. he thinks he must've died and gone to heaven when he sees your breasts rising and falling with each deep breath. the little tugs on his hair and the praise from your lips makes him decide that he loves going down on you more than anything.
P- pace (do they prefer fast or slow)
when heâs had a long day or just wants to get some anger out, he wants to go fast and rough. usually he goes slow and deep, just to feel all of you for as long as he can.
Q- quickie (do they like them)
quickies have become a must in some cases, especially if you don't have much time because you're on a run, or you have to get a round in before the group wakes up. he always makes sure to make every time you're together special, no matter how short.
R- risk (do they like to try new things)
heâs never been a risky guy, but if you suggested something to try, he would consider. as long as he knows you're safe, he is down for anything.
S- stamina (how many times and how long each round)
even though heâs older than you, his stamina is immaculate. even if heâs tired, he knows how to make you cum enough to tire you out.
T- toys (do they like using them)
since most things gathered on runs get checked, toys aren't really a priority. if youâre with him on a run, you two might find one and use it, but you don't dare bring it home with you. daryl likes to pleasure you by himself anyway.
U- unfair (how often do they tease)
such a tease. when heâs feeling especially cocky, he likes to have complete control over you, which includes controlling your orgasm. he will edge you for what feels like an eternity, just because he loves hearing your pretty voice beg all pathetically.Â
V- volume (how loud are they)
he adapted to being very quiet because most of the time you were together were around the group, or outside where walkers could hear. his grunts, moans, and dirty talk start coming through when the group finds safety, or when you are on runs in a safer place. he definitely starts going on runs with you just to fuck you and hear your moans.
W- wild card (anything random)
daryl had never been one for talking, but when his dick is deep inside your wet pussy, he canât help but spout the dirty thoughts that come to his mind. whether itâs praise, degradation, or the occasional swear, he knows it works you up from how you whimper and clench around him.
X- x-ray (whatâs going on down there)
long and thick, a couple of prominent veins, and a slight upward curve. this man walks like he has a big dick.
Y- yearning (sex-drive level)
very very low before he met you, but now he wants to fuck you every night if able.
Z- zzz (how fast do they fall asleep)
maybe it was his body adapting to living on the run, or never getting good sleep as a kid, but daryl takes ages to fall asleep. having your body next to him helps, and he starts to feel safe enough to let his guard down and sleep. however, he does wrap a protective arm around you just in case <3
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one bed? - featuring the aot boys
today we have: jean, bertholdt, and reiner
in which: there's only one bed? lmao have fun! note that in reiner's part, you are a warrior that escaped back to marley with reiner after the shiganshina arc.
warnings: none. i have extreme paranoia when it comes to me writing smut, so you will not see some from me until i get better (i am literally touch-starved, so i feel like anything i write will be cringe)!
author's note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know what to write next. i'm literally out of ideas. either in the comments, or in my messages. i will appreciate ANYTHING.
jean
"alright everyone," hange says, "go to your respective rooms. we'll meet back up in the morning and explore some more!" she turns to leave with onyankopon and levi who were staying in a nearby hotel as to not draw too much attention.
you look around for jean, sasha, and connie who were also staying in this hotel with you. as soon as you went to grab sasha to room with, connie swooped in, and the two were so excited that they were going to have a "sleepover". you heave a small sigh.
"don't sound too disappointed." jean says, giving you a small smile. "sad you're stuck with me tonight?"
"never." you say, bumping your shoulder with his. "it will just be much harder to keep an eye on those two." jean's smile slowly slides off his face.
"oh yeah." not much you can do about it now. you grab jean's hand and pull him to go find your room.
"this is actually so interesting, being in marley. i can't believe they have actual cars!" you say excitedly, smiling while looking out the window. you couldn't believe how advanced this place is.
"you sound like hange now! keep it down before your dumbass gets us caught." you give jean a little smack.
"oh shut up." the two of you finally reach the room, and as jean opens the door, he stops halfway into the room.
"hey! get out of my way, horse-face!" jean turns to look at you, his face a little red.
"i think they gave us the wrong room." confused, you look around jean to see there is only one bed in the entire room.
"oh." the thought of spending the night with your best friend in the same bed also made you a little pink. much to your relief, jean didn't see because he was too busy hurrying to use the bathroom. in reality, he was trying to calm himself down, but you didn't know that.
your stomach was swirling as jean finally came out of the bathroom, his face wet, like he had washed it. you had to look away. of course you were nervous. you've had a crush on the man for quite a while now. but you'd rather die than admit that.
an awkward, uncomfortable silence blanketed the room. until jean spoke up. "I honestly think we should just share it. it's pretty big. and we've grown up together. it won't be awkward."
that's a relief. "yeah. as long as your big horse feet won't kick me in the middle of the night."
"hey! my feet are normal shaped!" you giggle, the previous tension gone. "yeah yeah."
the two of you chat a little bit before calling it a night. you tuck yourself under the covers, turning your back to jean. "i hope you don't snore."
"guess you'll find out tonight." the two of you try sleeping, and for a few hours, it was successful. until the room got incredibly cold. you shuffle closer to jean, but it wasn't helping all that much. you turn around, facing jean, who looked fast asleep.
"hey." silence. "hey!" nothing. so you start poking his face, and he flinches. "what?" now you're embarrassed.
"nevermind."
"oh no. you didnât wake me up for nothing." he pokes your face. "what do you want?"
"can you hold me?"
"what?!"
"i'm cold!"
"oh. alright then, come here."
"really?"
"yes, y/n. now hurry up." so you weasel your way into his arms, sinking into his chest. he is so warm.
and in the morning, when he wakes up before you, he'll let you sleep, with your leg around his waist and his arms around you. maybe he will finally work up the courage to ask you out.
bertholdt
you were shaken. of course you were, you were kidnapped. the last thing you remember is walking away with armin on the wall, and you could faintly hear hange talking to moblit about titans that could dig. but you wake up on a tree, in the forest which was surrounded by titans. you see ymir awake, scowling at two men up on higher trees. is that eren over there? you have to blink because it's so bright, but when it finally comes into focus, you realize it's reiner and bertholdt. oh yeah. the traitors. you start breathing heavily, thinking about how it's your lover up there. ymir tries to calm you down, her eyes wide, but it doesn't work. how could he do this to you. was everything fake? were your friends still alive. why were you here? you start feeling faint, and feel hot tears pooling at your eyes. you faintly hear the screeching of odm gear coming closer, and you hear bertholdt talking to ymir, but it's too late, and you pass out once again.
when you awaken a second time, it's night. you have to adjust your eyes to try to figure out where you are. but all you see are stars. you're on the wall. you feel a hand on your shoulder.
"y/n?" you turn your head without moving your body and see him. bertholdt, who's eyes are red and swollen. you reach your hand up to hold his face but then think better of it. you let your hand fall.
"i'm so sorry. y/n, i'm so sor-"
"bertholdt!" you recognize reiner's voice and lift your body up, with his hand on your back. you shove his hand away, ignoring the hurt look on his face. you see reiner and ymir coming your way. while bertholdt and reiner whisper to each other, ymir comes to check on you.
"are you alright?" you shrug. which earns a sad smirk from ymir. shortly after, bertholdt returns to kneeling next to you, but not saying anything. after a while, you find your voice.
you turn your head to bertholdt and ask, "how did i get here?" he flinches at your strained tone, but softly explains what happened while reiner and ymir set up sleeping bags they found in the district below. you also find out the truth about bertholdt's background. about him being from marley, his mission, why he decided to become a warrior. he explained about his sick father and the oppression he received just because he was eldian.
and suddenly, your heart was conflicted. there was life outside of the walls. but they weren't free. they had the same blood you did, and they were being tortured for it. but they killed so many innocent people from inside the walls. those people didn't know what they were dying for. they didn't deserve to die. you wanted to yell and scream at him, but you also wanted to comfort him. so you cried. you cried and cried and fell into him because you were weak, and despite hating him for all he had done, you loved him. and he held you as you cried, and eventually he started crying with you. so the two of you cried until there were no tears left. in the silence left behind, you whispered to him, "take me with you. take me home with you." too weak to argue, he agreed. he placed a soft kiss on your forehead and wiped away your tears.
"ok."
what felt like hours later, reiner came to drop off the sleeping bag.
"i'm sorry, but we could only find three." while bertholdt starting insisting you take it, you just stand up and take the sleeping back from reiner, giving the man a hug, which surprised him.
"thank you. one is enough. we can share." and so you did.
you held onto his long ass body and just held each other, oozing comfort the both of you needed.
reiner
while porco and pieck were mocking him from behind, you were at his side, giggling at his little pout. you intertwined your arm with his and put your head on his shoulder, causing the two goons to laugh and mock even more. but the two of you didn't care. you guys were considered pretty close before, but after returning from paradise, the two of you were inseparable. the two of you walked along the festival, reiner occasionally having to stop to pay for gabi and the others, but never separating from you.
"oh, reiner!" pieck says, "don't forget about the meeting we have tomorrow." the both of you sigh.
"we haven't forgotten pieck," he replies. you detach yourself from reiner when you see porco beckoning to you. while reiner and pieck chatted, you were able to talk a bit with porco. the two of you wandered for a bit before reiner came to pull you away, looking a bit jealous, which porco wouldn't let him live down.
the two of you follow the children around until they get too tired and full from all the festival food. while reiner is dragging gabi around, the two of you talk about the trek you will have to make for the meeting.
"we should rent a hotel room. that way we won't have to get up too early tomorrow to travel."
"good idea!" so after dropping off the children at their respective homes, the two of you hitch a ride to the hotel nearest to HQ where the meeting was taking place. when the two of you check in, you only ask for one room, but two separate beds.
however, when the two of you went to go to sleep, there was only one bed. although, it didn't bother you two that much, as the two of you often slept over together.
so when it was time for bed, the two of you crawled in together, immediately cuddling together. you lay your head on his chest and he holds you. this was how you often found comfort when the two of you first got back from the island, often crying about bertholdt, annie, and the comrades you considered friends. and the two of you haven't stopped this little routine, even years later.
but this time felt a little different. reiner was holding you more tightly than usual. but you couldn't bring yourself to ask why because you were too tired. as you were falling asleep, you hear him whisper, "I love you." not that you would know this, but he had been telling you this for a long time when you were sleeping. so it quite surprise to him when you opened your eyes and smiled.
"I love you too." you slowly press a kiss to his lips and he graciously returns it.
author's note (again): will there be a part two? idk yet. let me know if y'all want one in the comments section. (and i know you saw my author's note up top. *suspicious side eye* you better tell me what to write next)
#eren yeager x reader#eren jaeger x reader#eren x reader#jean kirstein x reader#jean kirschstein x reader#jean kirschtein x reader#jean x reader#bertoldt hoover x reader#bertholdt hoover x reader#bertholdt x reader#bertolt x reader#bertolt hoover x reader#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan#aot#reiner fluff#reiner headcanons#reiner braun x reader#reiner x reader#snk reiner#reiner braun fluff#reiner x y/n
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Hey there Astra! Hope you're taking care of yourself and doing well đ. Can I request Izou, Thatch, Marco, and Ace with a shy!s/o? If it's too much you can just do Izou, thank you so much you're the best!! đ€
So this is also my @onepiece-bingo submission for 'First Kiss'. Thank you for being so patient with me.
Warnings: first kisses, Shy!Reader, Izou, Thatch, Marco, Ace
Word Count: 1490
Izou
     It was cute how shy you were, how you hid behind him if too much attention was on you, how you sank in your seat to try to not be noticed, and how you squeaked and quietly insisted on being put down if he lifted you into the air. That being said, it was hard to keep a âlow profileâ when you were dating the prettiest pirate in the New World and 16th division commander. The man attracted attention and oozed confidence and an elegance that drew people to him. You, by comparison, were relatively plain. Choosing not to wear flashy makeup or clothing in order to not attract attention. Head down and refusing to meet peopleâs eyes so that they wouldnât approach you. Izou wasnât really bothered by your shyness, in fact he found it rather endearing and cute. There was⊠one thing he didnât like about your shyness though. You hated PDA. PDA always brought attention to you, attention and teasing. The most he could do was hold your hand but even then, you preferred to hold one of his long sleeves, afraid of the attention you might get if you actually held his hand. The crew never teased you on anything, they knew better than to try to tease you, less they invoke Izouâs wrath, but you still worried about all the eyes that could be watching you. He hadnât even had his first kiss with you yet! But he was going to change that today! He had a nice place to pull you aside, away from the prying eyes of the others, secluded and not likely to be bothered. So pulling you through the halls, he smiled back at you, the confused look on your face only making you cuter.
     âY/n.â he said softly, caressing your cheek as he closed the door behind you, âitâs not the romance you deserve, but Iâve been waiting too long to do this.â Izou said softly, pulling you into a sweet kiss. Your heart pounded in your chest as you kissed back, wrapping your arms around his neck. Suddenly, you wished youâd done this sooner, that youâd had the courage to kiss him in front of the others. Breaking the kiss, you looked up at him, in wonder.
     âCan⊠can we do that again?â you asked softly, the dark haired man smiling as he pulled you into another kiss.
Ace
     Ace was wild, loud, outgoing, and commanding. You were shy, quiet, introverted, and timid. Logically, your relationship made little sense, but then, love didnât make any logical sense. You liked how he was always doing grand gestures to show you how much he cared, how he was pulling you out on some new adventure, and how he showered you in affection. He loved how cute you were, how your need to avoid attention kept him out of too much trouble, how you quietly gave him small gifts. That being said, there were things you both hated. You hated how he was always attracting attention to you, despite your protests, you hated how he was always pulling you into his trouble, and how heâd pull you with him when he was really happy, drawing the attention of the entire crew to the two of you. He hated how you always wanted to be a wallflower during parties, how he wasnât allowed to show you off and tell everyone how amazing you were, and the one he hated the most, how adamantly you refused PDA. He wanted to walk down the street with his arm wrapped around your waist, he wanted to spin you around in his arms, and most importantly, he wanted his damn first kiss with you! But heâd be damned if your shyness stopped him! It was the dead of night that he tugged you to the back of the ship.
     âAce, whatâs so important that you needed to talk to me at this hour at the back of the ship?â you asked, confused and slightly annoyed. Youâd been getting ready for bed, what did he want? Ace just gave you one of his sunny smiles as he pulled you into a passionate kiss, hands on either cheek, holding your head as he sighed happily into the kiss. You couldnât stop yourself from melting into the kiss, hands gripping his shoulders. Pulling back, he grinned at the dazed look in your eyes. He didnât bother to say a thing as his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into another kiss, neither of you aware of the small audience that peeked through the windows, quietly cheering and exchanging bet money.Â
Marco
     Sitting in his office, Marco smiled over at you. You always looked so at home in the solitude of his office, away from the rowdy and often boisterous crew. Helping the phoenix with whatever various paperwork or office work he had. He understood your desire to stay out of the spotlight, to stay away from the excitement and attention that often came with much of the crew. In fact, it astounded him that someone as shy as you even sailed with the Whitebeard Pirates. The most infamous pirate currently alive, someone everyone kept an eye on, and you stayed with them. Getting up, he walked over to you, pushing some hair out of your face and placing a gentle kiss to your forehead, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink.Â
     âSorry, Little Bird, you looked too cute-yoi.â he said softly, large hand cupping your cheek as he sat on the edge of the desk you were working at. Smiling up at him, you leaned into his touch, he was always so sweet. Turning your head, you placed a soft kiss on his palm, the sweet gesture making him sigh happily. Leaning down, he put a hand under your chin, his lips meeting yours, lightly pushing you back into your chair so he could deepen the kiss. Pulling away, you couldnât help but giggle.
     âWhatâs so funny, Little Bird?â he asked, as you smiled at him.
     âItâs just⊠every kiss feels like the first with you. I⊠I still get butterflies and my stomach still does flips.â you admittedly shyly.Â
     âI agree, your lips still taste just as sweet-yoi.â he said with a nod before pulling you into another kiss. Heâd never been so happy that he worked away from the crew, able to share kisses like this with you as often as he desired.
Thatch
     The man was a damned flirt, though perhaps thatâs what attracted you to him in the first place, how he made you swoon, how charming and sweet he was⊠his culinary skills didnât hurt either. Well⊠mostly, in any case. It was sweet how heâd make you all sorts of culinary confections, cooking your favorite just for you, or other delicious treats. But he was always presenting them in the biggest, most ostentatious, attention drawing ways. Ways that had you looking for somewhere to hide from the prying eyes. Sure, he usually tried to keep said ostentatiousness in private, but on more than one occasion, heâd drawn the attention of damn near the entire crew to you. Hiding in the kitchen, you glanced back at Thatch, making sure that nobody could peek in and see the two of you.Â
     âDonât worry, my sweet treat, nobodyâs going to bother us.â he said, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.Â
     âI just⊠you have a tendency to draw everybodyâs attention and you know I hate that.â you said, placing one of your hands over his as you relaxed in his hold.
     âIâll make you a deal, you give me one thing and Iâll try to be better about that.â he offered, making you raise an eyebrow.
     âI suppose that depends on the âone thingâ.â you said, as he continued holding you.
     âJust⊠close your eyes and trust me.â he whispered in your ear, making you sigh both from exasperation and your heart melting. Doing as he said, you felt him let you go for just a moment before his hands were on your waist again, picking you up and setting you on the counter as his lips met yours. You wouldnât deny that youâd been waiting for this moment for a while, but there never seemed to be a good, quiet, moment for your first kiss. A moment where the crew wouldnât bother you with wolf whistles and âgood naturedâ teasing. Your hands clung to the yellow scarf he was always wearing, keeping him pulled close to you as you remained lip locked until you needed to breathe.Â
     âA-alright, that⊠Iâll allow you one more for free, but after that you have to keep your end of the deal.â you said shyly, staring down at your lap as you blushed. Thatch chuckled and pulled you into another kiss, more than happy to get another âfreebieâ.Â
#one piece#one piece Marco#one piece Thatch#one piece Izou#One piece Ace#op Ace#op Thatch#op Marco#op Izou#hiken no ace#hiken no ace x reader#portgas d. ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#portgas d ace#marco the phoenix#marco the pineapple#marco the phoenix x reader#marco the pineapple x reader#Izou x reader#WBP#Whitebeard Pirates#WBP Izou#WBP Thatch#WBP Ace#WBP Marco#one piece bingo
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Hey, do you take requests? I loved your Modern Roomate Muriel X Reader fic and I would love a part 2 if you ever felt like writing it <3
Yes I take requests! But it does take a while for me to finish them cause I'm slow and this was no exception lol
thank you for waiting though! and I'm glad you like my writing enough to want more!
For this one I've tried to keep descriptions vague but also I tried to be accurate with Muriel's colors. Though if you can't tell I'm still not exactly confident with makeup lmao. Tbh i can't use it much since I'm prone to rashes, so I don't have much experience lol. Still I hope you enjoy <3
Pairing: Modern Roommates Muriel x Reader
Warnings: Lots of fluff & Author knows little about Makeup đ
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Summary: Muriel admits that he has worn makeup before, but under such bad circumstances, you can't help but want to give him a better experience. Â More important than the colours, more important than the fine lines, you want this to feel... Nice for Muriel. Like he's being pampered. He deserves that you think.
Word Count: 3,â640
Part 1 | Masterlists | The Arcana Masterlist
Painting
"So have you worn make up before?"Â
Muriel pauses in making breakfast, turning to face you as you sip at your glass of water at the table. Had he not noticed you come in? He's typically very (annoyingly) good at that. Any chance of preening at your sudden ability to sneak up on your roommate falls flat as he makes a scrunched expression. Disgust perhaps? Or discomfort? You can't tell as he quickly turns back to his cooking, too soon to let you see what exactly he might have felt.Â
Thankfully, he graces you with a reply.Â
"I... Did before..... For a bit.... For a.... Job."Â
Your stomach sinks.Â
It's funny how much there is to notice. What you can pick up and understand when you live so closely with a quiet roommate. How a hum can mean a number of things, ranging from a simple yes to, "I think that's kinda dumb but you know what, you do you." or "I appreciate you too much to disagree." And for all that Muriel did not talk to you about his past, he only ever reserves the word "Job" for one job he's had in the past. Everything else is called work. This, you're sure, is better called torture.Â
Asra mentioned it once to you before, when you were new roommates and he was far grouchier and colder. Muriel worked a job under some toxic super wealthy frat boy manager doing something violent and unsavory. A boxing ring you sometimes imagined, an assassination job it sometimes sounded like. In desperate need of money he had to do a lot of terrible things. It's a wonder he ever got out without someone chasing him to drag him back in, but well, thanks to the r3d outbreak getting away is way easier when your employers get sick, or when you can feign an illness and leave as the higher ups fear for their lives.
What kind of make up would that kind of job need? Maybe something black around the eyes like they do for the military with their masks? Or was it make up to appear more sick in order to escape?
Muriel sighs as he pushes your plate closer to you, startling you as you hadn't even noticed it was there. You mutter your thanks before you start eating the eggs and rice he's prepared for you, still trying to chew over what his possible past experience might have been with makeup while you try to chew your food at the same time. The result is tenuous of at best as you run very close to choking on your food a handful of times and miss your mouth once or twice when particularly deep in thought.Â
What kind of makeup did Muriel even use?
...What would he look like in makeup?
On that point, what would suit him best? Something dramatic and edgy or emo? Or maybe a pop of colour? Green around his eyes might draw lovely attention to the green within, but a dark eyeliner might as well. What about contrast? Red against green? Wouldn't he look lovely in red? A lingering stain of red on his cheeks, and a bright red stain of red on his lips... Ah how kissable they would be then?
...well, anyone would consider his lips kissable if such plush things were stained a vibrant red...
"Are... Are you done?" Muriel mumbles, eyes diverted to tracing the scuffmarks at the bottom of the wall beside him.
It takes you a moment to realize that your plate is already empty, and a moment longer to realize you had been staring at Muriel for the last few minutes as you daydreamed about makeup. You're quick to rectify your mistake as you redirect your attention to your empty plate, though it takes you another moment to remember that it's your turn to wash them, plucking your plate and his from the table to go and wash.
It's silent for awhile. An anxious little silence wrought with a familiar lighthearted tension. It's more awkward than anything, but someone needs to break the silence, someone needed to say something. If you could justâ
"Do you wanna try wearing makeup?" you blurt out. You don't even need to turn to look behind you to see his shocked expression at your offer, maybe even a little bit of hurt or betrayal that you just cannot bear to see. So you keep your eyes on the dishes before you, quickly scrubbing away rice with a sponge as the used pan sits below soaking in the water. "Not any battle make-up or anything, but just something... I don't know... Artsy or something? Something colourful? Something that would compliment your eyes..... Uhm not that your eyes aren't pretty or somethingâor that you're not pretty without makeupâor that you even need to do this at all haha!"Â
Above you the light from the small kitchen's lightbulb is eclipsed by a familiar figure behind you. With a gentle touch of your shoulder, Muriel brings your attention up towards him though he still looks away, avoiding your eyes, as the corner of his lips twitches. You can't tell if he's fighting a smile or fighting a frown.Â
"You don't have to, Muriel. It's just an idea..."Â
And finally he meets your gaze. "I... No. I... I'd like that. It sounds...nice."Â
His eyes wander away from you again, as if ashamed to confess that he'd like to wear make upâthough maybe, considering what you've heard about that shitty old job, he is. Maybe his old job was the type to argue that pretty makeup was for the weak and spineless, or maybe he was convinced that pretty makeup was only for the rich and wealthy who came to watch or hire him to fight for them, all while they'd sit so far away and safe and cozy in some plush lounge seat, so far away from the danger and the violence, but getting the chance to watch, and delight in the wretched outcome.
Either case is so awfully sad. Either case only makes you want to doll him up in makeup even more.
Furiously you scrub at the pan, and within a matter of seconds you've scraped off anything that had ever threatened to stick, thoroughly scrubbed at it with soap and set it aside to dry with the plates as you wipe your hands on your shirt and nearly bolt off to your room to search for your materials. Hopefully you had colours that would work well with him.Â
It takes you a moment to realize that you're alone in your room, turning with a handful of tools to find no one there behind you, and as you peek out of your door and down the hallway, you find Muriel still standing in front of the sink, staring at you with wide confused and slightly worried eyes.Â
"Do you not wanna do it anymore?"
His eyes seem to go even wider for a moment, before he replies, "right now?"Â
"Did you want to do it later?"
"Iâno....okay!"
And back in to your room you go, this time with the added assurance that Muriel would follow, marked by the faint thud of his feet against the hallway floors.
You dig around for your cleanest brushes, and grab your most trustworthy (and thus most used) brushes alongside it, grabbing something to clean the brushes as you bolt off to the bathroom  to wash your tools, before you return to searching your assortment of tools in search for items that would suit him. The red of one lipstick would look lovely in contrast to his eyes, but a muted dusty pink might look just as pretty wouldn't it? Perhaps a bold black eyeliner, would be a bit muchâand maybe a bit too similar to whatever black eye paint they used in the military if he used that stuff, so maybe a brown eyeliner would work a bit better? If you even had one of those... Though maybe brown eyeshadow would be effective enough? Ah but maybe brown wouldn't be as noticeable...
You zip back and forth between the washroom and your tools, between cleaning and searching for colours and palettes rummaging through your rather limited assortment of makeup tools. Having only ever bought stuff for yourself, you didn't really have much outside of your favourite colours or in tones that would suit your skin, but a few older products that you tried and didn't like, or a few palettes with sparsely used colours were surely somewhere within the mix.Â
You only pause in your searching as you're pulling your brushes out from the washroom, having dried them off loosely with a towel to go further air dry them beside a nearby fan or in the sun by the window or something, you had been in the middle of deciding when you realized you had forgotten a crucial component.Â
"Hey Muriel?"Â
He sits up straight at the sound of his name, head snapping away to look out the door, as his hands ball into fists as if bracing for the touch of your brush.Â
You can't help but hesitate a bit at the sight.Â
"What.....?"
"Oh, uh, you should probably go wash your face, and use some cream on your skin as well. The one in the flat container should be pretty good for most skin I think?"
Muriel nods, still not looking your way as you return to your make up drawers in search for odd colours you only maybe, hopefully had for him.
When the sound of the sink finally shuts off, you take it as your cue to give up. It's an odd assortment of colorsâyou doubt you'd use that neon shade of green on him, even if green is his colour the brightness might be a bit...off-putting right away, but you have a general colour scheme you can follow using some of the colours on hand.Â
Face ever so slightly damp and shiny from the cream, Muriel returns, looking... Anxious to say the least really.
He fiddles with his hands a bit, touching his face almost just as much, trying to wipe away invisible droplets of water, or trying to smooth down the thicker patches of the lotion you let him borrow.Â
And again, you find yourself hesitant.
"Are you sure you wanna try this? No shame in backing out. It's easy to put this stuff away."Â
Muriel nods, following his silence with a half whispered reply. "No, I'm ..... I'm okay. I want to try...."
You nod, and pulling your first brush from it's little cup, you settle down, and begin to get to work.Â
It's a lot of careful maneuvering, carefully dabbing colours onto some places with a brush, rubbing other places with your fingers, before you lean away to check how you're doing. Were the colours too bright? Was that line off? There are a few things that you end up having to scrub off with a makeup wipe, but even with that you're careful of his skin. More important than the colours, more important than the fine lines, you want this to feel... Nice for Muriel. Like he's being pampered. Muriel barely moves through the entirety of it all, but for what little he does it means all the world to you. Silent and unmoving, eyes and mouth closed, Muriel serves as the perfect canvas, only difficult in the fact that it keeps you from seeing whether he likes it or not, if he feels pampered or not. At the very least, you hope it feels nothing like whatever his old job used to do for him.Â
Ah, but you can only really hope.Â
An orange-red lipstick is the final touch, but your limited supply of brushes are already all packed with colours, and you'd like to âif all possibleâkeep the things that touched your eyes from going towards anyoneâincluding your ownâmouth.Â
So you elected a far simpler method instead. You rub your finger against the lipstick bullet, and with your finger to his lips you smudge the colour against his skin. And with a simple touch to his lips, you make him jolt, breaking his statuesque composure, for just a moment before he's still all over again, albeit maybe leaning a little more foreword than before. If he has, it's barely noticeable, and probably caused by that one jolt of movement. His lips are a bit chapped and dry, so it takes a few attempts, but you manage to stain his lips with a suitable amount of colour in your eyes.Â
You take a step back to see what you've done, and smile, satisfied at your work. It's nothing special, nothing on the level of some professional in a studio with all the makeup options in the world at their fingertips, but you think that it suits him, and you're proud of that much at least.
"You can open your eyes now."Â
You offer him a hand mirror, and let him examine your, admittedly shoddy work. It's not perfect, but the colours look nice you think, though you can't help but wince at the selection a little. You just didn't have a shade of green that would fit him well in your opinion, so you leaned instead into the red colours that you did have. You used the only greens you could find to add a little colour to the inner and outer corners of his eyes, and used a warm orange-y-red lipstick on his lips that turned out pretty dark against his skin, you also smudged the colour a bit along his cheeks as well, as a sort of blush really though if you could you'd like to try to capture that shade of red his face so often blooms. It really isn't your best work, limited as your colour palette was, but....
Well, the way his eyes seem to glitter more at seeing it.... Well, it would make any make up look pretty on him really.
"Can I... Ask for one thing?"Â
You blink, surprised for a moment before you're immediately grabbing the makeup wipes again.Â
"Sure! Do you not like the colours? Is there a colour that you'd rather wear?"Â
His cheeks tint red, and you almost curse yourself for the smudge of dark red on his cheeks, making it harder to decipher that exact shade. Surely you had lipstick in that colour at least...?
"What.... What was the colour of lipstick you were wearing last night....?"Â
You pause for a moment, dropping the attempt of colour matching to grab the tube of lipstick from it's place on your table. It was a dark red shade, almost like the colour of blood, a shade you specifically aimed to avoid, hoping that it wouldn't make him uncomfortable.Â
"This one? You wanna try it on?" He barely even looks at it before he nods, making you sigh as you bring it closer to him to let him inspect it. "It might look different on your skin than it does on mine just an fyi, so don't be surprised if it looks different okay?"Â
Muriel nods again, this time having looked at the lipstick a little more thoroughly. He doesn't react to the colour at all no trace of hesitance or weariness, so perhaps they didn't try to paint him in "blood" or anything dramatic like that.Â
With your fingers once again, you press the red colour against his lips, as Muriel leans into your touch this time, eyes closed as he lets you work. The sight of it startles you for just a moment, looking as if he were leaning in for a kiss.Â
Your finger slips from it's path, and a smudge of red, streaks away from his lips, but even that looks so.... Pretty against his skin. Like he's been kissed, like whatever lipstick he had been wearing had been smudged by another pair of lips eager to express their affection.Â
You hesitate, staring at his lips for a moment before you finally turn away to grab more makeup wipes. When you turn back, Muriel's eyes are already open, already staring at your sloppy job with his lipstick.Â
"Sorry I'll fix it. Do you like the colour though?"Â
Muriel's eyes flicker to yours for a moment before he looks away, but a grin curls his painted lips, as more colour takes to his cheeks. A resounding yes, then, confirmed by a faint hum. A job well done in your books then, and thus a debt well repaid, for his gentle hand at helping you wash your own makeup off.Â
You dab at his lip to wipe away the smudged lipstick, before you begin to pack up your supplies. "Feel free to wear that for however long you'd like, I...." you cut yourself off. The offer to help wash the make up from his face tucked away along with your makeup containers. Muriel helped you to clean off the makeup only because you needed his help exhausted and maybe a little drunk from your night out, but Muriel can surely handle himself.Â
When you turn back around, Muriel is staring at himself in the mirror. It's the most you've seen him look in a mirror to be honest. Not including the bathroom, your room seems to be the only one in the apartment with a mirror, and though you've offered to let Muriel borrow your mirror if he needs to, or to help him buy his own, he's staunchly refused your offers. It was a small thing though, nothing that you'd feel the need to press him about. He's covered in scars after all, and you know full well how he feels about thoseâthe whole reason why you let him use a handheld mirror than your full sized one.Â
But now, as he holds your little handheld mirror up, to look at his face, you can't help but notice how he traces his own lips with a newfound reverence, fingers dancing along the flesh with the barest touch as if he were worried it would smudge, or wipe away with a mere touch. Yet even then, the corners of his lips are pulled up. Did he like it that much? You make a mental note to buy extra of that colour the next chance you get alongside some green eyeshadow perhaps, though by the looks of if, Muriel seemed to much prefer the lipstick that stained his lips than any of the other colours you've splattered on his face.Â
It takes him a few moments, but when his eyes finally flicker up to you, he does so with a smile, that promptly fades into a blushy pout as he realizes your attention. It's a tragedy to see it go, but seeing his lip jut out at the attention is nearly as good.Â
"Do you like it?"Â
You're startled at his question, for a moment, scrambling for coherent thought to best reply to him. The reply you give in the end makes your own face grow warm, though earnest and true.Â
"You look lovely." Even your expression softens a little, as your eyes flit back down to his lips. Once more, Muriel's face picks up colour again, but try as he might, he can't quite keep the smile from curling up the corners of his mouth at his words.Â
"Thank you."
Standing, Muriel fidgets with the mirror for a moment before handing it to you, mouth parting for a moment before he thinks better of it and closes it again. It continues for a moment or two, making him stay longer than you'd expect him to, as he stares anywhere but you. Familiar with the gesture, you wait for him to get his words in order, even as he looms above you while you're half sitting against the ledge of your drawers.
If anything, you take the moment to re-assess your work, recalling all the improvements you fully intended to make if he let you do this again. If you could, you'd use a shade closer to his eye colour as his eyeshadow next time, to bring more attention to the colour there. Or maybe even some sparkles next time? If he didn't mind them that is, it could be a bit irritating to try to clean off sometimes. And maybe next time you'd choose a better shade of blush that would match the actual red to rise in his cheeks.Â
And the red of his lips... You're tempted to reach up, to press a finger to his lips once more, if only to feel how plush they were again, if only to give him more of that pretty red that he seemed to like so much despite his past.
And you watch as those pretty painted lips part, as those lovely emerald eyes finally dart your way. You watch as his attention finally turns to you, mouth parted as if ready to speak before he pauses, just for a breath, eyes searching your face for... Something.Â
And maybe he finds it. Maybe he doesn't. But in reaction to whatever he sees, just a little bit of that tension escapes his face, shoulders sagging and the faintest curl of his lips gracing his expression.Â
"Next time," the spell breaks as he speaks, mouth corralled into a pout once more as his eyes dart away from you, "Next time let me put your make up on for you."
And with that he turns away fingers just brushing against yours as he leaves your room, leaving you to blink and wonder what sort of makeup he knew to apply.Â
If anything, at least he seemed to like it.
If anything, you had another reason to feel his fingers against your skin...
#answering asks#Anonymous#the arcana#Muriel#muriel of the kokhuri#x reader#reader insert#Muriel x reader#Muriel the arcana#the arcana muriel#the arcana muriel x reader#Muriel the mountain man#Muriel the hermit#muriel arcana#muriel the hermit#Thank you for the request!! đđđ
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