#Also fun fact i started the big school project this week and am already completely overwhelmed with it (two days in)

[michameinmicha]

i tthink my tumblr app wch i havent updated since i installed it on this phone has finally given up... it will only show me notifications but not load the dash or any blog :/ now i have to decide if i want to exclusively use tumblr on the browser or actually give in and update that thing🙄

[adam-banks2024]

Deja Vu

Part 1

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Kind of angst for now, backstory, arguments, and extremely slow burn. Also future poly

He’s insufferable

He’s arrogant. He’s rude. He’s annoying.

He is insufferable.

And I have to deal with him.

Of all the people Mrs. Moore could have partnered me with, she just had to choose him. It’s not like we even put a show on in public, and it’s sad but, everybody knows about the feud between us that started four years ago. 

I had just moved to town from three states over, and I didn’t know anyone my age. After a few weeks of summer went by of not knowing anyone, my dad convinced me to join the district’s hockey team. He told me that it was because he wanted me to make some friends, but I knew that he really just couldn’t afford to pay a babysitter. And my mother, well, she wasn’t in the picture. So I ended up having to go through the lost and found at six different ice rinks in Minnesota in order to get all of my equipment. At first, I was wary of the idea, but my dad said that it was kind of like shopping, so I agreed to go with him. Originally, we would have only had to search five rinks, but I couldn’t find any skates that were my size. After almost twelve hours of rummaging through sweaty pads and broken sticks, I had myself a full set of hockey gear.

Now I was on to the next challenge: How To Skate. I had been ice skating a couple of times before for birthday parties, but I’ve never been able to skate at the level that I had to in order to survive during an entire hockey game. I thought maybe it would just come to me naturally after attending a few practices. Until I did some research at the school library. Apparently, it takes a person at least two months to learn how to ice skate. But ignoring the negative, I decided to focus on the positive. ‘I could at least balance myself...and besides, I probably would be on the bench for every game...and just remember, you’re doing this for friends.’ These were the only three things that ran through my mind on the way to the ice rink. I was honestly terrified. I was scared that the other kids would make fun of me, or worse, ignore me. Well, maybe being made fun of is worse, but at least then they’d acknowledge me. I had to stop myself from thinking about that kinda stuff. I haven’t even attended a single hockey practice yet, and now I’ve added at least four more stressors into my life.

When my dad pulled up to the building, my stomach was tingling. My hands were clammy, and my eyebags had definitely seen better days. I wanted to run so fast away from this place, and not move at all at the same time.

“Nerves,” my dad said. He must’ve noticed from my frozen state in the backseat of his minivan. “You’ll do great! Just don’t break any bones.” He chuckled at the end in hopes that it would come off as a joke, but that is definitely not how it sounded.

To my surprise, I was the first kid that had arrived. I didn’t know much about the team, but I did know that most of the other kids had been on it since they were five or six years old. I was almost the exact opposite, thirteen and just starting. I wasn’t really sure why I was the first person to arrive, and it only added to my nervousness. 

I tried to brush it off as I saw someone outside in the parking lot leave a car holding a bag like you had. I could hear his muffled voice. “I’ll see you at six.” Whoever he was talking to must have responded because the boy spoke again, “yup, love you too.” A parent maybe. A mom? I could faintly make out a silhouette in the driver’s seat, but the glare from the sun blocked most of the car window.

Thank god someone else was here because at least now I knew that I was in the right place. But another problem arose. Now, different things were rushing through my head about what to say to the other boy. Should I make a joke, ask a question? Simply say ‘hello’? I didn’t know. So, I decided to settle on the most stupid thing anyone could ever say. 

“Are you on the hockey team?” What kind of question is that? He has a bag, this time is cut out specifically for hickey practice, and he has a hockey stick with him. Why else would he be here?

He looked up from where he was walking and stared at me awkwardly. It was likely that he wouldn’t have even noticed me if I hadn’t said anything to him. But I did. Which I regretted.

“Oh, um, yeah.” He went to keep on walking but he stopped himself quickly. “Are you?”

I had to keep a laugh in because the boy looked genuinely confused. Or maybe I misjudged that for concern. Still, though, it sounded a bit hopeful. This kid was really hard to read. Either way, I was pretty sure that he thought I couldn’t play hockey.

“Yeah. My dad made me join to make some friends.” 

Suddenly the boy’s demeanor changed. He seemed almost excited that there was a new kid on the team. “Well, I’ll be your first friend. My name’s Adam. Adam Banks. Walk and talk.” And then he started towards two big double doors.

My eyebrows rose at the sudden confidence, taken off guard, but at least he was being friendly. I adjusted your bags and followed right behind him. “So what’s it like here.”

He answered after struggling to open one of the doors, “Well it’s not so bad. It’s super cutthroat during the regular season but in the offseason, it’s pretty relaxed.” As I made myself around the outside of the rink, he kept rambling. “Especially during summer league. The kids who only play during that league have it nice. You’ll definitely survive.”

“Um, so what happens during the regular season?” The thought of angry yelling coaches wasn’t appealing to me, but I could make it work

Adam shrugged his bag up so it wouldn’t fall from his shoulder, “Well. Usually, coach yells at us, tells us that if we don’t win we’re failures, and everyone is constantly fighting to be a starter.” There was silence. “So that’s fun.” I just nodded my head, trying to take this all in. Adam didn’t say anything until he reached the locker room doors. Then he turned to me. “Yeah, but coach is a lot less lenient during summer because it doesn’t really matter for playoffs.”

I scoffed, “yeah, but I’ll eventually have to deal with him. Right?”

Adam’s expression flattened, “Wait, you’re doing winter league too?” He looked genuinely concerned, and now I was second-guessing joining hockey. If this boy didn’t think I could survive, then how could I? Even if I was just gonna sit on the bench, the way this kid was making it out to be was not sounding like the greatest way to make friends.

“Well, yeah. Is that bad?” I needed to hear him say it. Say that I should quit, or join dance, or something. Just so I could have an excuse to tell my dad in case the first day of practice goes awry.

He spoke fast, “Oh no, no. It’s just that--” 

“That I’m not good enough…”

He didn’t say anything. Harsh. I was just trying to make a joke but, I guess that’s what he was really thinking. We stood in silence for a few more seconds, and then he finally thought of something to respond with.

“No. I just feel like you’ll get hurt… and, um.”

I started to laugh. I applaud Adam for trying to make it seem like he didn’t think I was bad, but he just couldn’t do it. “Don’t sweat it, I know I’m gonna be bad.” He started to laugh with me. “Hey, at least I’ll get abs out of it.” 

He and I were actually pretty good friends for the most part. He was my first friend here in Minnesota. He taught me how to skate, and in turn, I offered him some sub-par jokes. He always used to laugh at my jokes even if they were awful. He was what I considered my best friend. He definitely wasn’t a best friend, I couldn’t confide in all of my secrets, and he couldn’t do the same to me, but Adam was the only kid I was friends with. We laughed hard, we fell on the ice together. He even told his mom that practices started to end later just so he could wait with me until my dad got off work and picked me up. 

Not long after we bonded, I hato the ducks. At the time, I didn’t know exactly what happened. All my dad said to me was something about how the coach wasn’t that nice, and that he didn’t want me on his team. I didn’t really care since hockey wasn’t something that I cared about too much. So I said goodbye to Adam and explained that I had to go. I didn’t say anything about the coach-not-liking-me part because then I thought he’d feel bad for me.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to switch teams too, but I think my dads’ gonna see if I can stay on the team.” He spoke almost as if he was trying to convince himself. I thought it was a great idea to tell him why he had to go to the ducks.

“They don’t want you, Adam. Maybe if you go to the ducks, you’ll get a coach who appreciates you.” I didn’t know what was wrong with what I said to him until about a year later, but by the time I finished my sentence, he was fuming.

The situation afterward was a blur, and I can’t remember what all was said. I just remember Adam touching on the fact how I’m an awful hockey player, and that he only talked to me because he felt sorry for me. Now, if my old coach had told me that I was awful at hockey, I’d be completely fine. I already knew that, and coach is just...coach. But hearing it come from Adam? It wasn’t like he was just telling me how it is, he wanted to hurt me.

It took me two weeks to stop thinking about the situation constantly, and then it started to fade away. I never even told him the real reason why I told him what I did, but now I have to work on a history project with him. How am I gonna do that if I can’t even tell him the reason for our quarrel that we had three years ago? Let alone complete a whole project?

“The syllabus will be given tomorrow, and the deadline for this project will be written under the ‘AP History’ bulletin. You may get to work.”

I slumped out of my desk and started putting away my things that were on the table attachment. During this, I tried to think of what I was going to say when I went over to him. I almost decided on either trying to make a truce or just acting like he didn’t exist.

He was slouched in his desk, pencil in hand, avoiding eye contact with me. As I sat down my stuff on an empty desk near him, his words startled me. “So, 50/50?”

I just stared at him. For some reason, my brain could not process what Adam had just said. It took a solid four seconds for me to respond. “I don’t understand.”

Adam’s eyebrows rose while his eyes rolled, “Of course you don’t.”

I scoffed, “What, you’re just gonna say some numbers and you think I’m gonna understand what you’re trying to say?”

He was leaning forward in his desk now, “Well you seemed to be doing well in calculus, so, yes.” A small, mocking smile was now gracing his face. 

I took in a deep breath to try and refrain from spewing whatever profanities came to mind. “Look, can we just set aside whatever this is so we can do this project?” He crossed his arms in response. “C’mon, I can’t afford to get a bad grade.” Still no response. If his goal was to ruin my life, he sure was on the right path. 

“What do I get out of it?”

The audacity.

“I’m just saying. I’ll be fine with one bad grade, so what exactly is the payoff for tolerating...you?”

So there was a shiny glimmer of hope, but it would definitely come at a cost. “Anything. Anything you want. Just please, tolerate me.”

He brought a hand to his chin, acting like he was pondering his choice, “but will it really be anything?”

“Oh my god, you are so annoying.”

“Watch it.” His voice was stern.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. But yes, anything. You name it.”

Did he even know what he wanted? Or was he just trying to play this out? Either way, I’m about to have a conniption if we don’t start working on this project soon.

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. Of course, Adam had to change his thinking position almost every second, until he decided on what he wanted. “Okay, here’s the deal. I help you get your precious little A, and you have to get me a date with Charlie.”

[sumeragi-hokuto]

I fully understand if it’s impossible but do you plan on finishing this project?

Hi to you and everyone else still following this blog. It's probably been what, almost two years since I last posted anything?

Short answer: probably not, though I want to.

Long answer: So a lot happened. I got my laptop back after the water damage and everything was wiped. Everything. Not just TB. I DID have some backups of the raws for volume 5, but I lost the rest of the completed pages that I'd been working on which put me back several weeks. Combine that with the stress of starting a new semester of college with a broken laptop, in a new place, with COVID messing everything up... I basically lost all motivation to keep working on TB. Time passed and I got more and more guilty about not posting, so I told myself that I would just work in larger batches that meant when I did post, I could post a ton in order to make up for all the time when I did not. Of course, that started to stress me out too, and so all it meant was that I kept delaying everything even more because the idea of doing MORE than usual after being gone so long was so daunting I couldn't bring myself to make the first step. Time passed. I got a job and was doing both school and work, which took a lot of time, and ended up committed to a group that took 9 hours per week minimum. The semester went by, and the next, and then was my final semester and my thesis. Keep everything from before and add in *that* time commitment...

By the time I was ready to get back to TB, I'd graduated. And my school pulled my Photoshop license basically the second my diploma was in hand. Buying Photshop will take me $22-35 a month, and Adobe is so weird with their commitments and forcing you to keep it for a long time or putting a cancelation fee on you that I keep worrying I'll miss something in the fine print and end up having to pay way more than anticipated. So basically, trying to get Photoshop back would cost a lot of money that I don't exactly want to pay given how long I think it'll take me to do these scans. It's just me working on this. There is no one else. I have a lot of things I want to do in my life, and paying for another year or two of Photoshop will put me out a few hundred bucks that I would like to put in savings. I guess I could really buckle down and try to get huge chunks done at once, but I need some other life things to calm down a bit.

If this seems like excuses excuses...yeah. pretty much. I have a million excuses and none of them are great. I loved this project and it brought me a lot of joy, but now I've come to a financial decision that has kept me from coming back to this.

That and the other big thing, which was the idea of "Oh. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this." Because while I may not be earning any money by doing this, I'm also not paying anything to do this. The profits aren't going to CLAMP or anyone official. People are reading their material without them earning a single penny. And sure, I read every CLAMP manga I've ever read on unofficial online sites before buying them myself (so, I read without paying before I fell so in love that I did). But should I be doing this? What happens if CLAMP or whoever owns the licensing does a crackdown one day?

I'm already so far in it probably doesn't matter. I'm not going to go delete everything I've ever posted. So why not just finish what I started?

I think it comes down to shoving down the guilt of the absence and the worry of whether I should or shouldn't be doing this and figuring out financially (and time-wise) if it's truly worth it. Like I said, I loved this project. I love TB. I have a ton of fun making the pages. But it takes a lot. It will take more from me now than it ever has with the added financial burden and the fact that I have way more commitments than I did when I started (which was, I think, actually in high school. And here I am now with a college degree and a real world job).

So that's the long answer: Will I finish this? I don't know. I really want to. I just need to figure out a way to make it work. That'll require some shuffling on my part. Some figuring stuff out. Some weighing my options. I can't say yes because I don't want to promise something and not give it, which has historically been what I've done when promising more frequent updates that never increased in frequency.

So to both you and the few other people who've messaged me in this long gap, or to the ones who said such nice things when I first mentioned my broken laptop and losing everything and all the kind of sucky stuff that happened nearly 2 years ago now...Thank you for caring. It does mean a lot. It's really nice to know that people actually appreciated the effort I put in, and that they're still thinking about me (or at least, about what I can do for them). I've never stopped thinking about this blog. I used Photoshop for my thesis and every time I opened it I told myself, "maybe next time I open this will be for TB." It even was. I think I did one more set at some point, never posted because of that thing I mentioned about feeling guilty and wanting to make a mega post.

With that I'll finish off for now. Apologies for the giant blob of text. I don't feel like proofreading this right now. I still have stuff I need to get done today. Real life calls. I hope that one day I will be able to get back to this. I'm just not sure when, or if it's even feasible.

Thank you,

Mariyekos.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MustangSally

MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since it’s an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. I’ve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (there’s an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.

I’m just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesn’t. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made.  I met some very remarkable women that I’ve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years.  We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but we’re friends.  It’s a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media.  I’m amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD I’ve been drunk with in Las Vegas.

Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security. Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs!  When I look at a new piece of software, I think, ‘this is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.’  We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of ’96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.

Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her.  I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each other’s nails and talk about bones.  Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was – if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better. What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

This question is really about Iolokus, isn’t it?  You can’t fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]

Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scully’s ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable.  Scully wasn’t nearly as angry as I was.  What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her.  Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didn’t meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple – everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible).  Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative.  I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that).  

Really, RivkaT?  A helicopter? What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy.  I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I haven’t watched the new episodes, either.  It is complete in my mind and doesn’t need to be continued.  I wouldn’t say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although we’re still chatting online like everyone does.   Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. I’m in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. I’ve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabs—it’s hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]

Every few years, I’ll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? No. Not really. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3. What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with “blood on the threshing floor” and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.

At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic.  Like critic Anne Jamison said, “Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”  And because fic has fallen so much into women’s sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragon’s teeth.

Okay, that’s a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If that’s not fiction, I don’t know what the fuck is.

All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, it’s a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.

Be subversive.

Be mean.

Have a great fucking time.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)

[ateezmakemeweep]

you’re the one that i want (part 17)

word count: 6k

angst

(part 16) (series masterlist)

tag list: @chogiout ; @psshwa ; @yeocult ; @seongghwaa ; @cherryeonii ; @chaoticbanqtan ; @8teenee ; @nczenniez ; @atinyarmyx1 ; @mingtopiaa ; @chubsluda ; @joongiebug ; @mochibabycakes ; @jisungity ; @skz-on-my-mind ; @nlost21 ; @myonlyaurora ; @closer-stars ; @kuaenam3g ; @byungaji ; @floweryjh ; @joeycheungg ; @lostscenarios ; @atinyxtopia ; @sanisms ; @kpopnightingale ; @simpforhyunjin ; @89staytinyzen21​ ; @lokicaramel ; @ttalgimin ; @sakura-uji ; @songsoomin ; @toffee-hwa ; @deobitiful ; @hyunjeansuniverse ; @clown-teez​ ; @i-know-you-know-lee-know ; @tiny-whatsername ; @fairieofeternity ; @yixing-jaehyun ; @sleepyseonghwa ; @revehosh ; 

time went on but the pain never went away. it dulled, for sure, with san incessantly telling you that you deserved better and the piles of work that were being assigned to you.

but you were also doing everything in your absolute power to ignore seonghwa. 

you never lingered before or after homeroom and made sure to never even look in his direction. you drowned out the sound of his voice in class or entire presence when you passed him the hallway. you and san even started to break the school rules and went out for lunch so neither of you had to be reminded of that table.

the one time seonghwa dared come to the cafe, san forced you into the back room and gave his ex friend a piece of his mind. you thought for sure you were gonna have to run out and separate the boys but seonghwa just looked completely...empty and defeated. 

it seemed as if he took san’s words to heart, the blonde speaking them so lowly and harshly you still don’t exactly know what he said to this day. you just know that when you and seonghwa’s eyes met through the small glass window, he looked as sad and broken as you felt inside - but for very different reasons. 

he was upset with himself while you were upset with the both of you. at him for acting the way he did and denying you once again but also at yourself for letting it go on for so long. you should’ve been stronger and made it known he was hurting you from day one, not just avoid him for the sake of saving yourself more pain and suffering.

you’ve switched between feeling sad, angry and vengeful so much during these weeks that you don’t even know how you feel anymore; you just know you’re hurting and know it’s because of him.

“okay but you can’t not go because of him,” san whines. you were both sitting at the cafe during your wednesday night shift, the shitty, rainy weather outside keeping you free of any customers. 

“san,” you whine back, looking at your friend in annoyance; he’d been harassing you for days to go to his friend’s party on friday, a group of boys from another school he’s been friends with since 5th grade.

“look, i was honest and told you he’d probably be there to warn you,” he tells you honestly, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. “but if you’re gonna make me go through it by myself, that’ll be really mean.” 

you roll your eyes at the pout on his lips, feeling yourself frown when he adds, “because you know, i’m avoiding one of them too.”

you both know it’s a low blow and san has to resist the urge to smirk knowing he did just play a little dirty. but it doesn’t lessen his actual anxiety over it, knowing he’s gonna be around alcohol in a party atmosphere where stupid decisions are almost always made.

“that’s not fair,” you say with a pout, kicking against the counter with a groan. 

“c’monnn, love, i’m gonna need you there.” 

you let out a sigh, looking at the boy with a pained expression; it would be the perfect time for you to get out and party though, you think, given the fact that your parents told you just this morning they’d be going away for the weekend. 

things at home had been surprisingly...civil, only a few fights and slaps here and there that do little to break your spirit. because it’s already pretty crumbled, eating quickly with them before rushing into your room to do homework.

you never thought you’d say it but schoolwork and projects and essays were actually saving you these days, distracting your mind from just how badly your heart was hurting. 

and what better way to further distract yourself than by getting drunk for the first time? 

“for the first time?” san yelps when you tell him you’ve never drank before. 

“kind of, yeah,” you tell him with an amused smile, the utter shock on his face all too endearing. “i...got tipsy over the summer,” you say quickly, grazing over the memory before you tell san you’d only had one drink. 

“oh, that won’t do,” san says with a shake of the head. 

you watch with a raised eyebrow and a cup of tea to your lips as the blonde prances over to the cabinets, looking inside before smirking at the extra box of jello he knew was laying around back here. 

“we’ll start you off with jello shots and then move you up to the real stuff. get ready for friday, biiiitch.” 

you let out a snort and warm tea spews from your mouth, dripping down to your chin and onto the floor as you let out a choking fit of laughter. san yells that he just mopped the floor and insists that you’re doing it this time, your eyes only rolling at him.

“i’m about to choke and die and you’re worried about the floor.”

“you can’t choke and die, we have to go to this party first.”

the jello shots had gone down easily, your personal favorites being the strawberry and raspberry. but now, the straight vodka sitting in one of san’s many shot glasses is proving to be a challenge. 

“i think i’m drunk so i don’t need to do-”

“cheers!” san yelps, taking your glass from the table and forcing it into your hand. you let out a sigh as you watch the boy down his 4th one with ease, looking at him with concerned laced in your eyes. 

“san, if you’re gonna puke tonight, i’m gonna be really-”

“i’m not gonna puke,” he whines, “we ate so much before this and i’ll drink water. but you have to start little lady. we only have an hour!” 

“okay i will but i’m just warning you that i’m gonna hate every moment of this and-”

he rolls his eyes before pushing the shot glass toward you, snorting when you take down the vodka with a sneer and gag. but by the third, the burn gets almost manageable and you and san mentally prepare one another for what’s about to come. 

you tell him to not take wooyoung’s shit, that if the boy even dares to signal for him to go outside so they could be alone, he points his middle finger at him and goes off to dance and have fun. 

he tells you that if seonghwa tries to corner you and suck another hickie onto your neck, (the blonde had been so irritated at that, the possessiveness and boldness in the action making his blood boil) you knee him between the legs and kiss the closest person next to you. even if it’s him.

you laugh at that very unlikely circumstance as you stumble out of his house and into the uber, both of you determined not to let those two handsome but horribly cruel boys get to you. 

you try to keep the slurring of your words quiet so the driver isn’t alarmed by the drunk underaged kids in his car, whispering back and forth about what songs you’re gonna sneak onto the aux.

you thank the man as he pulls up to the house, big and beautiful with a wrap around porch and a few kids littered outside. and then even in a drunken daze, you feel your stomach knot with nervousness. the unfamiliar crowd, the loud booming music coming from the house, the thought of seeing seonghwa in this state, now all too daunting. 

but san notices your discomfort immediately and grabs your hand, saying hi to a few people in passing as he leads you into the house. he tells you to stay close and to not let go of him, your eyes widening at the amount of people in this house; what kind of high school party is like this?

“oi felix!” 

a boy with blonde wavy hair turns around and smiles at san, walking over and fist bumping him; you bit your lip to hide your smile, secretly wondering who’s hands were smaller (it’s me, the author, i am wondering). felix notices you standing beside san, your intertwined hands catching his eye before his face lights up. 

“who is this? is she your-”

“friend,” san clarifies, pulling you into him affectionately. “but she is very much single if anyone is interested.”

“san,” you whine as you disconnect your hands and hit his arm, felix laughing quietly before he holds out his. you take his hand with a small smile, mumbling your name before three boys barrel right into him. 

“san!” they all scream in unison, excited cheers as they run toward the boy and grab him in a hug. you giggle as you wait off to the side in fear of getting trampled, felix looking at you apologetically. 

“sorry,” he says, his voice so deep and full it makes your eyes widen. and maybe it’s because you have alcohol coursing through you that you show your surprise, looking around like you’re scared someone’s gonna watch you before leaning in. 

“your voice...is very deep.” 

a loud chuckle leaves his mouth as he nods his head, talking more and leaving you in amazement. 

you don’t even hear san and the other boys conversing behind you, you and felix talking about the blonde-haired boy. you tell him that you work at his parents cafe and also see him in school every day, giggling sweetly when felix’s face turns into a grimace as he commends your ability to deal with the loud, whiney boy five days a week.

the very same boy who, little to your knowledge, is trying to set you up. but it’s not his fault, he rationalizes in his head, the idea just fell into his lap really.

“hey, who’d you come with?” hyunjin asks san, the two blondes turning when they hear your giggle pierce the air. 

the taller boy can’t help but smile softly at the sound, thinking it’s the cutest thing he’s heard since he got here; he wasn’t even gonna come tonight, always put off by the gross group of people and loud, terrible music.

“that’s y/n, my new friend,” san says, smiling when he sees hyunjin’s intrigued gaze. 

he’s known the boy for years, one of his first friends from middle school who proved time and time again how sweet he was. everyone had always been intimidated by his good looks and tall figure but he was just as a soft-spoken as he was kind; he’d be the perfect distraction for you tonight. 

it’s why he drags hyunjin over to you, planting the boy in front of you and your head snaps away from felix. “i was just telling him how you always-” a pair of dark, unfamiliar eyes looking at you cause the words to stop, your breath catching in your throat at the man in your presence. 

his blonde hair hangs in his face, a black headband over his forehead just a few inches above the prettiest pair of light brown eyes. he’s taller than san and felix and it only adds on to how much your sad little heart flutters, your usual sober nervousness replaced with a drunken fascination. 

“oh. hi.”

and then when his lips quirk up into a smile, your heart nearly threatens to pound out of your chest. 

“hey. i’m hyunjin.”

you sat with the boy for most of the night, your legs grazing as you stayed on the couch and gave him playful slaps to the arm when you drunkenly giggled into him. you quickly discovered he was just as funny as he was kind and handsome and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think you had a little bit of a crush on him.

that the happy, fluttering feeling in your chest was something you hadn’t felt in a while, your shy smiles back and forth only making you more giggly. or it could also be the sips you took from san’s spiked seltzer that might have something to do with it. 

because one second you and hyunjin were debating whether goldendoodles or chihuahuas made better pets and then the next, you were both charging over to san for the final decision. but he yelped excitedly, having not seen you both all night because you were so lost in each other, and threw his arms around you. 

“don’t look now, love, but asshole one and two just got here.”

you pull back and look at san with wide eyes, the blonde only nodding his head with a calming look in his eye. he had thought you guys had gotten lucky and the four boys weren’t gonna show up but leave it them to waltz in a few minutes before midnight, their eyes searching the crowd before a brown pair of narrowed eyes caught his attention.

san avoided the boy’s gaze to look at seonghwa, watching his eyes roam over the crowd before landing on you. his handsome face immediately drops, his jaw tightening and eyes narrowing as he watched you and hyunjin laugh together. 

the tall blonde’s hand was resting on your hip, this thumb running over the exposed skin between your jeans and shirt as you two laugh with hyunjin’s friends.

to seonghwa, it looked as if he was trying to make a move on you. that he was slowly enticing you until his hand traveled lower and lower and just the thought of it causes anger to rip through him. like an anger he’s never felt before.

because he would do that to comfort you. 

to calm your nerves and ground you if you were feeling upset and anxious, like you typically did around crowds or unfamiliar groups of people. but you looked awfully cozy next to the boy in the loud, chaotic environment, smiling up at the boy so prettily it makes him growl lowly in his chest.

“what the fuck was that?” mingi asked the boy, his eyes following seonghwa’s dark gaze before his face morphed into one of surprise. 

“ohhh shit.”

“shit,” you said under your breath, hyunjin hearing the frustration in your voice and looking down at you curiously. 

but you and san don’t look away from one another, trying so hard to remember what you said earlier. that you’re gonna ignore them and pretend they’re not even here, that you both deserve better and should move on to bigger and better things.

that if, given the opportunity, maybe it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to distract yourself with other people. and what better way than in the arms of a long haired blonde boy with the prettiest face you’ve ever seen?

“what’s wrong?” you hear his voice mumble in your ear, turning around and sucking in a breath when you realize you’re a lot closer than you thought. his eyes look over you with a soft concern, watching your drunken hazy eyes look back at him.

“no-nothing, someone’s just here who i...don’t wanna see,” you settle on saying, not needing hyunjin to know all of your baggage and nonsense drama. 

he looks at the new group of boys who just entered, recognizing them immediately and waving; he’s mostly friendly with yeosang but has seen the other three before, the dirty blonde boy eyeing him with such distaste he can only assume that’s who you’re having a problem with. 

but if you don’t wanna see him, then he’s gonna make sure you don’t. 

so he smiles down at you, his finger tapping you on the nose playfully and smiling when you giggle quietly. he’s happy to see a smile back on your face, the lingering anxiousness in your eyes making his stomach sink. 

“then i can promise he won’t be anywhere near you.”

the words send warmth through your body, your heart fluttering and cheeks turning pink as you bite your lip to hide your smile, hyunjin’s hand reaching down to interlace your fingers. you don’t miss the way the blonde’s face warms a little bit too in the dark room, turning your body and resting your head on his shoulder lazily as you talk with san and the rest of the boys.

you miss the way yeosang and mingi hold seonghwa back from charging over there, the shorter boy looking at his friend in confusion. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he snaps, pulling the boy back by his shirt. “we just got here. you’re not about to start shit.”

“i’m not gonna start anything, i just have to-”

“stop,” wooyoung says firmly, knowing all too well the feeling seonghwa is experiencing right now; but he also knows nothing will come of acting on it. of charging over there and tearing you away from the blonde, of growling out that you’re his and shouldn’t be with other people. 

the dirty blonde snaps his head to wooyoung and resists the urge to punch him in the mouth, letting out an annoyed huff before shrugging himself away from yeosang and walking toward the kitchen to grab a drink. a drink that he holds on to for the next thirty minutes of the party, keeping the same cold bottle in his hand so people don’t ask why he’s not drinking.

he hates this shit. 

drinking and partying and mingling, passing a poorly rolled joint around like all of this is gonna make him wanna be here when really, it’s the last thing he wants. he can’t believe he’s been sitting here as long as he has, leg bouncing as he watches you smile up and chat with hyunjin as a blush spreads on your cheeks. 

there’s a hot burning feeling of anger and rage and possessiveness growing in his chest, something you brought out in him within the first few weeks of meeting. and he knows he deserves to feel this way, that he hurt you and made you feel bad and basically pushed you into another man’s arms. 

but that doesn’t mean he’s not mad. and that doesn’t mean he won’t stop it because how could he watch that? how could he sit here and watch you with someone else when he wants you to be with h-

“hyunjin,” you giggle drunkenly, feeling his breath tickle the skin of your neck. 

you both had been watching san and his friends banter back and forth, the boys loud and talkative and crazy as they relive their middle school memories. about the pranks they pulled on teachers and how much trouble they always got into. 

about how san and changbin had gone from absolutely hating each other to becoming the closest in the group; san thought changbin was mean and scary and changbin thought san was annoying and soft - and perhaps you could see what both of them were saying. 

because changbin did have a darker look in his eye, easily getting annoyed and shoving his friends around but also blocking their falls when they were about to smack into the wall. it’s nice to see san hanging out with a group of rowdy boys since these past months, he’s only been with you - a emotional, baggage-filled teenage girl. 

“what?” he whines lowly, squeezing at your hips again and causing your heart to stutter in your chest. 

it feels nice to have someone touch you again, touch you in a way that warms your body and makes you feel liked and desired. you’d gotten so used to it with....him and it’s almost like for the time being, your fragile heart is temporarily healing. 

you know the feeling is different and you know you don’t like it as much but at least hyunjin is sweet.

because you also you know tomorrow, or maybe even in a few hours, you’ll go back to normal. sad that you have to ignore the boy you love and mad that he’s making you do it in the first place. confused and irritated at just how much your head was in the clouds this summer.

but for tonight, you don’t care about any of that. you only care about that way this other boy is making you feel, someone who was a stranger when the night started but made you so comfortable so fast. made you happy and giggly and acted as the perfect distraction from the eyes that have been piercing into you all night. 

you made sure not to to look anywhere but the corner you and the boys were in, turning in hyunjin’s hold and reaching up to play with his long blonde hair.

“you...shouldn’t ever cut this,” you hiccup, a cute smile crossing the boy’s face at the sound of it.

“you like it?” he mumbles, biting down on his lip at the way your nails graze his scalp. 

he’d been on his best behavior all night, shy smiles and innocent touches as he got to know you and saw you come out of your shell bit by bit; it probably helped that he was just as nervous and uncomfortable as you.

but now, with a few drinks in him and the way you’re looking at him, he feels himself losing it. losing the resolve to be good and just wanting feel your lips against his for a second; nothing more, nothing less. 

“i like everything about you,” you say teasingly, your hand moving down to twist his necklace around your finger. the metal pulling at his neck causes his adams apple to bob, his eyes falling to your mouth at the exact moment you slip your tongue out to wet your dry lips.

the music is blaring and you think a group of kids are fighting but you can only hear the ringing in your ears and the pounding of your heart, cocking your head to the side when the eyes that have been so soft and sweet turn dark and hungry. 

“everything about me?” 

and with the way his voice drops and a pretty smirk crosses his mouth, like he knows exactly what’s he’s doing, you twist the chain between your fingers and pull him closer to you. 

his large hand moves to your face, the sound of your breathy exhale causing desire to hit him. every reaction you have is so cute and innocent despite the boldness behind them, your lingering eyes and lips pulled into a smirk making him wanna do this all night.

have your hair tangled in his hand, pulling you closer until your lips finally meet and part on one another. your tongues colliding and moans being swallowed as he presses you against the wall. hearing you sigh out his name and make sure you want to see him and kiss him.

but he doesn’t get the chance. 

because just before your lips can meet, he's harshly grabbed by the back of his shirt and shoved across the room. your eyes pop open when you nearly fall forward if not for the hard chest you bump into as seonghwa towers over you; his eyes hot and blazing and face so tense it makes your stomach swoop in nervousness.

"y/n," he growls and you immediately feel your heart start to pound, narrowing your eyes at him.

"what do you want, seonghwa?"

"what the fuck," you hear hyunjin shout, watching as the blonde stomps toward him. seonghwa rolls his eyes upon hearing it, turning around and catching the quick fist flying his way. it shocks hyunjin as much as you but the boy doesn’t show his reaction reacts, sneering at him as he asks what the hell is his problem is.

"has nothing to do with you so back off, hyunjin."

"she said she didn't wanna see you," he retorts, ripping his hand from seonghwa's grasp and pushing at him. he hits the back of the wall and you wince at the loud sound, standing in front of hyunjin as you see the dirty blonde make his way over.

"st-stop," you drunkly whine, pressing yourself back into hyunjin and causing seonghwa to growl out your name lowly. 

"no. he's right. i didn't wanna see you."

he bites the inside of your cheek when those words leave your mouth, your heart sinking at the way his face every so slightly drops and eyes twinge with hurt.

"just give me five minutes. i need it."

"and i need you to leave me alone. i've given you almost three months, what's so different now?"

you were with someone else, he thinks, you were with someone else and there's nothing he hates more than seeing his girl with a guy who's not him. he's had to watch it all fucking night and it's killing him, making him so god damn angry and jealous he thinks he's about to explode.

but if you guys kissed, he'd be over. he would've gone over and beat the shit out of the long, blonde haired boy watching you two right now with curious eyes.

"y/n," he growls again.

but you only roll your eyes because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his pride. he saw you with someone else while you haven't looked his way, smiling and giggling and trying to forget him in the arms of someone else.

and it was working, it really was working. your heart feel like something other than the breaking, crumbling mess it's been since the moment you left your aunt's house. since the stupid boy looking at you like you're the one hurting him started this mess in the first place.

"i don't wanna talk to you!" you whine loudly, stomping the few steps toward him and pushing him back with all the force you can muster; but given your size difference and drunken state, he doesn't go far. he only clenches his jaw and wraps his hand around your wrist, dragging you outside despite you telling him to stop manhandling you.

you don't know where san is, thinking those two conspiring assholes made their moves on you at the same time, and you hear hyunjin's friend telling him not to cause problems with them. but you don't wanna be anywhere near him, especially in this vulnerable state.

because you know you're gonna end up crying and you're so fucking sick of crying. so sick of saying the same things to him and then hearing his lousy apologies over and over again. having the memories of your summer play in your mind when he says a certain word or gives you a familiar look.

you're so sick of him and a part of you wishes you never met him. that you just spent your summer quietly inside or at the beach with your aunt so you didn't realize you were capable of being loved by a man like him, even if it was just for a short time and in private.

even if everything might've been a lie. because it's the memories of him that makes this so hard, remembering how the same boy who could look so unbothered about you was the same boy who'd mumble into your skin that he loved you.

the same boy who now dragged you outside, the crisp night air cooling your warm, flushed skin. you cross your arms as you look up at him with your face pinched in anger, tears of frustration already pricking your eyes.

"what is wrong with you!" you yell, your hands balling into fists as you resist the urge to stomp your foot and smack him. his eyes narrow and he steps forward, his large hand taking your face in his hold. his thumb rubs at your hot skin gently, anger coursing through him at himself.

this is his fault. this is all his fault and now you're sad and drunk and ready to cry.

"you're drunk," he states obviously. you roll your eyes at his statement, biting the inside of your cheek so you don't say the vengeful comment that wants to leave you.

but because you are drunk and pissed and not in your right frame of mind, you say it anyway.

"so what," you snap at him. "if you're thinking that's why i was about to make out with hyunjin, then you're absolutely-"

anger flares in his eyes and he tugs you closer to him, tightening his hold on you. everything inside of you is screaming to push him away and yell at him, tell him he doesn't get to do this anymore; that you're not his and you never were.

but you can't find the words in your fuzzy brain, looking up at his dark gaze and feeling a sense of pride in how angry that made him, especially when his words are lowly growled at you.

"you better fuckin' stop, y/n."

"i don't think i will," you say, pressing your body closer to him and moving your finger over his lips. "i think i'll kiss you both and see who does it better." his jaw tightens at the same time his hands on your wrist and hip do, growling another warning "stop it," in your ear. 

"why? at least hyunjin was gonna kiss me in front of people.”

your words are powerful and biting but the hurt in them is obvious. hurt that's been building up for months and festering. "he even talked to me all night in front of people. and you just watched from a-far, as usual," you hiccup, "like you didn't even know me."

his eyes soften at your tone and he drops your wrist from his hold, looking down at you carefully in case you're gonna try to flee. but your vengeful look is quickly changing to sadness, seeing him stand in front of you with his gaze softening by the second.

"y/n, baby, i would talk to you but-"

"but nothing," you snap, your eyes shooting to his. "i am so fucking sick of us having this conversation, seonghwa. just admit i wa-wasn't anything to you and we can move on with our lives."

"stop. fucking. saying that," he says, taking your face in his hands and holding it tightly. his warm hands on your skin makes tears prick your head, his chest heaving as he tries to control the emotions ripping through him.

"stop giving me hope," you cry out, "stop making me think you're gonna admit that you love me. that you loved me at all and actually considered giving us a chance."

the more you get worked up, the more you start to hiccup and the tighter he holds you. he hates seeing you like this and it's obvious in the way his stomach is sinking, how he just wants to take you back to his house and mumble apologies against your skin until you give him another chance.

"i do love you."

"w-we knew each other for two months, that's not enough time to love.”

because that’s another thing you started to think. maybe you both were just confused about what you felt, so consumed by teenage lust and fascination that you convinced yourselves it was love; you didn’t think that was the case for you, but maybe for him.

maybe it wasn’t enough time for him to love.

"yes it is," he growls, pushing you back until you hit the brick wall behind you. you swallow nervously at how close he's pressed up against you. he can smell the alcohol on you mixed with the scent of your perfume and he remembers it so vividly.

lingering when you would pass him on the beach, faintly on the case of his pillow after you would sleep in his bed, tickling his nose when you would fall asleep on his shoulder; even when you were sick and smelt like sweat, you had that scent.

"don't fucking tell me it's not enough time when you're the only person i've ever felt like this about," he says lowly, his voice low and deep and so full of certainty, your stupid little heart lifts again. "and i know you feel the same way."

you swallow the lump in your throat and tears are burning your eyes at the way he's so close to you. his hand’s right next to your head and his body is right against yours, finding comfort in the feeling you were so trying so hard to forget.

but because you know seonghwa would never hurt you and welcome his presence despite everything, you don't realize how bad this position looks.

not until an unfamiliar, feminine voice speaks up.

"hey! get the hell away from her!"

"jojo, they might be-"

"she's about to cry, that's definitely fucking not-"

"okay, relax!”

the small girl with long brown hair looks at you with sympathy swarming in your eyes, her friend eyeing seonghwa suspiciously and looking ready to fight him.

"hey, are you okay?"

your lip wobbles at the soft kindness of the girl's voice, the one named jojo looking between you and seonghwa. "ye-yes," you hiccup, shooting the girls a small smile as they narrow their eyes. "i promise, i'm okay. we're just....talking."

"why are you pinning her against the wall?" the girl asks, feisty and eyes blazing; seonghwa can smell the alcohol on her breath but has a feeling she's usually this bold without the liquid courage.

"i'm just talking to her."

“you can’t talk to her without towering over her?”

seonghwa looks at girl with an annoyed look, throwing his hands up innocently before taking a few steps away from you.

the girl looks at you and you nod your head to confirm that it’s okay and you are just talking, eyes shining with gratitude despite the tears in them. the two girls look at you for a few silent moments before nodding their heads.

"we'll be around, if you need help call out."

"thank you but i promise i'm okay," you hiccup, the girl giving the tall boy one last dirty look before walking away.

"you can't just do that shit, jo. you have to be careful."

"oh please, what were his chicken legs really gonna do?"

you wanna laugh at the girls comment but can only feel sadness in your chest, you and seonghwa looking at each other as his hands run through his light hair. your eyes train on the floor and he lets out a long exhale, looking at your dejected, drained figure.

"i was never more honest about my shit than when i was with you this summer, y/n," he finds himself finally saying truthfully. 

he was happiest with you, he wished he could be like that all the time and wanted nothing more than that. wished he could believe every day of his life that he was good for you and treat you as such.

you swallow the lump in your throat and the tears are stinging your eyes so badly at the way he's saying this. how his words always sound so true and genuine and make your heart soar.

"but now you're lying," you squeak out shakily, your watery eyes meeting his and making his lips turn into a frown. "you're lying and it's hurting me. i feel like...i feel like i don’t even know what the truth is anymore.” 

he swallows the lump in his throat at your words, watching your eyes roam his face before a tear runs down your cheek. 

"i wish i never met you," you blurt out honestly, your words breathy and full of sadness. "because you've hurt me so badly and have made me so sad but i still..." you can't say the words that you still love and want him because it's so stupid.

"come here," he says, his voice low and pained but direct as he looks at you. a whimper leaves your mouth as you shake your head at him, trying to back away from him but only pushing yourself further into the wall.

"no," you brokenly whisper, voice small and shaky as you feel all the giddy drunkenness drain from you. now it's like every sad and heartbroken emotion you've felt hits you tenfold, your chest and stomach physically paining you.

"please, baby," he says lowly, his voice making your stomach twist even more.

"we're gonna figure it out but, please baby, for now, i need you with me. i'm here with you. we're both here and we have time left together."

you stay planted against his shirt until your tears stop falling, nodding your head against him and feeling your face flush with embarrassment. you hadn't meant to avoid him all day but you were just so sad when you realized how many days you had left with him. until you were ripped apart and wouldn't see other for god knows how long.

"i know it's hard and i'm not mad at you," he says again when he sees guilt and shame in your eyes. "but i'm here. how many times did i have to say it, pretty girl," he hums lowly, his hand running softly through your hair as his tone is laced with slight amusement.

"you can't call me that," you say, shaking your head as tears continue to blur your vision. "or look at me like that. it's not fair."

his eyebrow quirks up and he takes another step toward you, his heart dropping at the way your face falls even more. you know he's about to reach out and hug you and pull you into his arms and you're gonna crumble. cry into his chest and have him stroke your hair and tell you everything's gonna be okay.

but it's not okay. how he's treated you isn't okay. how he's discrediting everything you guys had isn't okay. and it's not okay that every part of you is gonna be willing to forgive him.

"none of this is fair," you say when he leans closer, voice dripping with anger and sadness as you smack at his chest. "you're hurting me and you could give a shit and i wish i never fucking met you. why did you do this?" 

you knock your fists into his chest and he takes every single one as he wraps his arms around you and pulls your body closer.

he shushes your muffled cries against your head, muttering that he's so sorry over and over again. sorry that he knew he wasn't good for you but allowed this to happen anyway and sorry that he can't say he wishes he never met you.

because meeting you was quite easily the best thing that ever happened to him and he thinks it's about time he proves that to you. he holds you until it seems as if every last tear is out of your system, your body slumping into his chest before he hears your breaths even out.

(part 18)

[iatethepomegranate]

A fic in which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, and learns how to be a person.

Chapter Summary: The sands of time stop for no one, and the Nein eventually go back to their separate lives. Caleb grapples with the responsibilities of his new position, invents the support group, and Astrid gives him some rather unsettling news.

Notes: Caleb and Essek's scene together is a little spicy, but not explicit. Chapter title is from In the Embers by Sleeping At Last.

*** Chapter 5: Like fireworks we pull apart the dark

Caleb was smiling when he got back home. Veth aimed her crossbow at him.

“Quick! Tell me something only Caleb would say!”

Caleb sighed and held up his hands in surrender; he should have expected this. “You almost inscribed a rune upside-down today. I lent you my spellbook.”

“I don’t know, man,” said Beauregard, lounging across Yasha on the couch and completely fucking with them. “An imposter could’ve interrogated Caleb and forced him to recount his day. Caleb is pretty squishy.” Caleb almost reminded her he had been taught to withstand torture, which he’d first told explictly her while compiling his testimony for Trent’s trial, but he didn’t want to ruin her fun.

“Oh, that’s very smart,” Yasha said.

“Thanks, babe.”

“Say something else,” Veth demanded. “Something not from today. How did we meet?”

“In prison. You stole a bottle of cherry wine. I had Frumpkin retrieve a piece of wire so you could pick the lock and then I set the jail on fire and screamed for help. The guards ran away and we walked out. We have been best friends ever since. You were also a goblin at the time.”

“But wouldn’t an imposter have asked about Caleb’s known associates?” Fjord supplied.

“Fjord, I can and will burn your hair off. And, unlike Aeor, it will not grow back overnight.”

“Ha!” Veth put her crossbow away. “Welcome back. Sit down. Cad’s making tea again.” She dragged him over to the blanket nest that no one had bothered to put away, and shoved him in it.

Essek poked his head out of the kitchen. “How was your meeting?”

Caleb didn’t want to get into it. “I took the job.”

“Woo!” Jester yelled from the kitchen. She poked her head out, just next to Essek. “Did Astrid like the cookies?”

“Ja. She says thank you.” Caleb felt fine, except from the fact he was fucking exhausted. He tipped his head back, landing on Beau’s shin, and closed his eyes. “Uh, Beauregard? She says to look into Headmaster Zivan Margolin, who is also the Archmage of Conscription. He’s a link to Trent. A weak one. Apparently he has been running his mouth about how he saw my potential from the beginning. Ludinus is uncomfortable with the implication and may throw him to the wolves to save his own neck.”

“I’ll pass it onto Yudala tomorrow. Take a nap while we wait for dinner.”

“The head of your school is also in charge of conscription?” said Fjord. “Wait. You’ve said this before.”

“A long time ago, ja.”

“Look, I’m only a few months old,” said Kingsley, who had been sprawled behind the couch the whole time, apparently. “And even I know that’s kinda fucked up.”

“No shit.” Caleb was half-sleep already, eyes closed. A small body curled up against him. Veth.

“Caleb, that’s really awful,” said Jester. “I’m so sorry.”

“Jester, I appreciate that, and I love you very much, but I am exhausted and cannot talk about this anymore.”

Caduceus saved him by bringing a tea tray into the room. “Let’s all unwind for a bit. Dinner will be ready soon.”

Caleb drank half his tea and fell asleep on Beauregard, who had to kick him awake for dinner. Well had to was a strong way to put it. Regardless, he shoved some food in his face and then went to bed with Essek.

****

Astrid sent him tidbits of information as more details of his professorship were finalised. He would assist Professor Weber with the beginner and intermediate Transmutation classes. He would also assist Professor Winterheart with the beginner Evocation class, due to his experience. He would also be on call to assist with other classes as necessary.

What really shook Caleb, however, were Bettina’s plans for Advanced Transmutation. She told him herself over coffee in the ex-smut shop.

“Astrid has assured me of your capabilities,” she said, stirring sugar into her mug. “And she’s of the mind that the Advanced students may need your guidance the most. You may end up with a few former Volstrucker students, if we can get them back in class.”

“That is a big if.”

“Ja. Would you talk to Astrid about it? I don’t want to overstep.”

“It has been on my mind. I will talk to her.” If Caleb hadn’t been dead on his feet last time they had spoken, he probably would have brought it up. It would take time to track all of them down, and Caleb had not been in the right headspace to handle that kind of work previously. But things were more stable now, even if he cried at the drop of a hat these days.

“Danke. Now, Advanced Transmutation. The advanced students start on the third week of term, so you will have had some time to find your feet. I want you to take the lead with them.”

“Bitte?” Caleb wasn’t sure he understood what she was telling him.

“I want you to teach the advanced students,” Bettina clarified. “I will be on hand if you need, but I think you can handle it once you have a few classes under your belt.”

“Bettina, I have no experience.” Caleb was about three wrong words from hyperventilating. This was ridiculous. And irresponsible.

“I know that’s not true, Mr Widogast. Sorry, Professor Widogast.” The slip was deliberate. Bettina used his first name most of the time. She was making a point of his new title. “Astrid has spoken to your expositor friend, who said you have been teaching magic to one of your friends for over a year, and that you helped her run a summer camp for adventurers in Nicodranas. Expositor Lionett also insists you are very good with children.”

“My friend’s young son, specifically. He is not a difficult child.” Well, Luc was a handful for his parents, but Caleb didn’t have to worry about controlling him like they did. “And… advanced students are teenagers, not toddlers.”

“I understand this is a lot to ask,” Bettina said evenly. “I am asking because some of these children have been through a lot. My inaction, whatever the truth of it, will not instill confidence. You put Trent in prison. You were an adventurer. You can relate to them. Not only can you be a safe person for them, but you are interesting. Teenagers respond best to people who are genuine, and genuinely interesting. Even the children who have not been pulled into Trent’s web have just been through a war. Some of them may have lost family.”

“Bettina, I appreciate you are trying to explain your reasons, but it is not helping.”

“I will be there in class for as long as you need my help,” Bettina promised. “I will only leave when you are ready. I promise. You can ask for help at any time. I will help you with your lesson plans and give you all the advice I can. You will be fine. I would not suggest this if I thought you couldn’t handle it.”

****

Caleb went back home after his meeting with Bettina. He was still worried, but he was having a decent day overall, so it wasn’t overwhelming him at the moment. He stepped inside Beau and Yasha’s side of the house, the scent of freshly baked bread filling his nostrils. It was almost lunchtime.

Most of the Nein had gone home by now, except Essek and Caduceus. They were in the kitchen with Yasha, inspecting a fresh loaf of bread on the counter. The top of it was sprinkled with rolled oats.

“I think it worked,” Caduceus said. “Ah, Caleb. Rye bread? Does it look right to you?”

It smelled like the Vollkornbrot Caleb remembered from his childhood. “Ja. This looks close to what my mother used to make.”

Yasha and Caduceus high-fived over Essek’s head. Essek’s nose wrinkled a little bit in a moment of endearing, petty irritation. Yasha cut the bread into slices and constructed a sandwich to take to Beau, who was at the Archive. She buttered a slice and shoved it into her mouth before she rushed out the door.

Caleb sat with Essek and Caduceus. The latter finished serving up the bread with a generous spread of butter.

“Did you start this last night?” Caleb asked. It was chewy as intended and tasted like home, maybe a tiny bit saltier, but that was fine.

“Yeah,” replied Caduceus. “You were pretty out of it. We looped Essek in once you were out of the house this morning. This one seems doable for Yasha to make without us. You might have to help her.”

“I can do that.” He used to help his mother with the bread whenever he was home. The memories were not too painful today, just an ache.

“How was your meeting?” Essek asked. He had been hesitant to leave Rexxentrum until Caleb was a bit more settled, but the hourglass was almost drained of sand.

“Good, I think.” Caleb chewed, mulling the whole thing over. “Professor Weber is giving me her advanced transmutation students.”

“You look worried,” said Caduceus.

“I am. It’s a lot of responsibility. She thinks the older students need me the most. As a safe person. I was their age when I… when everything went to shit. She thinks we may have a few survivors of the program in the class, and other students will have lost family in the war.”

Essek’s shoulders slumped. He ate quietly.

“And the Professor doesn't think she can be that person?”

“She insists she didn’t know what Trent was doing, but she expects the survivors will only see the face of someone who didn’t help them.”

“That is very self-aware of her. Do you feel that way?”

“No. But I’m not seventeen years old.”

“True. Well, I think you have the tools to help the kids, if you feel up to it.”

“I… maybe. Bettina said she’ll help me in class until I don’t need her anymore.”

Caduceus nodded slowly, with a smile. “You’ll be great.”

****

Essek and Caduceus had dinner at the house, and intended to spend a few more hours there before teleporting to the Blooming Grove, where Essek would trance before heading off in the morning, only short of one big spell instead of two. Caleb almost wanted to ask him to burn a second spell to trance here instead, but he knew Essek found the Grove calming. And one of the few places he didn’t have to worry about the Dynasty or the Empire. Caleb wouldn’t take that from him.

But they had a bit of time, which Caleb and Essek spent in their room together. Caleb let a few of his dancing lights float around the space, so he could see Essek for the last time in who knew how long.

“You were better today,” Essek said softly, slowly unbuttoning Caleb’s shirt.

Caleb watched him concentrate on the buttons, memorising his tiny frown that also graced his face when focusing on intricate spellwork. “Being here is getting easier. Thank you for the bread.”

Essek chuckled softly. “I did very little.” He pushed Caleb’s shirt off his shoulders. “But I’m glad it made you happy.”

“The best bread is the kind made by someone I love.” He shivered a little in the cold. Essek pressed his lips to Caleb’s shoulder, remaining there as the seconds ticked away. Caleb got to work on Essek’s shirt, finding the strings on the back through sheer muscle memory. He picked the bow apart and slowly unravelled the lacing. He pulled Essek’s shirt over his head and kissed his collarbone.

They had a few more hours. Caleb intended to treasure every second Essek could give him.

Essek pulled Caleb’s ponytail free and ran his fingers through the braids he had made that morning until they twisted apart. He cradled Caleb’s head as they kissed. Vulnerability between them had been hard won, and now it was as easy as breathing. Easier, sometimes.

They separated, and Essek slowly dragged his thumb across Caleb’s lower lip. “I will message you every day I can.”

“You better. Or I will hunt you down.”

Essek smirked, and it did things to Caleb. “And if I misbehave? Will you give me detention, Professor?”

“Essek, I love you, but never say that again.” Caleb shut him up with another kiss. “I do not want one of my last memories of you to be… that.”

“Not so adventurous after all,” Essek teased.

“We are not bringing our professions into the bedroom. That will not go well for either of us.”

“Hmm.” Essek’s eyes were distant for a moment. “You are… not wrong. Whenever I hear the word Shadowhand, I think of my mother.”

“Could be worse,” Caleb said dryly.

Essek wrinkled his nose. “Yes. Well. That has killed the mood.”

“I can fix that. May I?”

Essek sat back on his hands, raising an eyebrow. “Do your worst.”

“Challenge accepted,” Caleb murmured. He shoved Essek onto his back, straddling his hips. Essek was a lot smaller than Caleb, though the force of his personality and his floating cantrip had once hidden that reality. Now, however… Caleb could keep Essek in place with his weight alone. And Essek liked it when he used that objective fact to their benefit.

Essek’s lips parted, and it took him ten seconds of shallow breaths to find his voice. “Challenge completed,” he said breathlessly.

“It’s one of my many skills, Liebchen.” Caleb knew his voice became extra husky when aroused, and he knew how much it broke Essek’s brain.

Essek opened his mouth again, but nothing came out except a soft, breathy laugh. He reached up and pulled Caleb’s hair until Caleb leaned down and kissed him hard. The throaty mmph noise from Essek was satisfying as fuck. It was very easy to get Essek aroused at the right moment. The harder part was finding that moment. He was sensitive to Caleb’s emotions, and it was hard for him to get in the mood if he had even the slightest inkling Caleb was not having a good day. For now, at least, it meant what sex they did have only happened under the best circumstances. It was a far cry from the last relationship Caleb had been in, where most of the sex had been after a bad day, all three of them on the brink of falling apart.

Caleb pulled back a little bit to lightly brush his fingernails across the sensitive skin of Essek’s lower abdomen, just above his remaining clothing. Essek’s breath hitched.

“Caleb. Please.” Essek was flushing red beneath the purple of his skin, turning it a lovely plum tone. Caleb kissed his stomach, and slowly undressed him like a long-anticipated present he was afraid to break. Essek squirmed beneath him, no matter how hard he tried to hold still to make the job easier.

“What do you want, Kätzchen?” Caleb said quietly, stroking the inside of Essek’s bare thigh. Caleb never used terms of endearment like this in casual conversation. He liked to save it for special moments, specifically because he knew it broke Essek’s brain very badly to be called things like kitten or sweetheart in Caleb’s own tongue.

Essek let out a shaky breath; his violet-blue eyes were half-lidded and he was out of his fucking mind. “I want… anything. Everything. You. I can’t think.”

“I know,” Caleb said, sliding off the bed, just out of Essek’s reach. “I like it that way.” He slowly unfastened his pants, watching Essek twitch in a half-aborted attempt to move closer to him. “Stay right there.” He let them drop, kicked them aside, finished undressing. He lingered out of reach until Essek bit his lip, gazing up at him with a silent plea. Only then did Caleb climb back onto the bed, settling between Essek’s shaking legs. “Let me take care of you, ja?”

Caleb caught Essek’s lips in a messy, breathless kiss as their bodies fit together at long last.

Later, they lay together under the covers. Caleb had extinguished his lights. Essek could see him perfectly well. Caleb had almost left the lights on so he could drink in Essek’s features for a little while longer, but he was sluggish and borderline mindless from his most recent orgasm. He would rather spend what little concentration he had on running his fingers across Essek’s features so he had a few more memories to keep him warm until they could meet again.

“I will stay until you fall asleep,” Essek said softly. “Then, I will message you tomorrow after I leave the Grove.”

Caleb hummed quietly, not trusting his voice beyond that. This goodbye was hard every time.

“I’m proud of you, Caleb.” Essek kissed him, and then pressed their foreheads together. “You will be an incredible teacher. You already are.” Caleb swallowed against a lump in his throat. He was not going to cry. He was not going to make this harder for Essek than it needed to be.

Somehow, he managed to find his voice. “I finally had a good example.”

Essek chuckled softly. “That may be the one thing in my life I did right.”

“It’s an important thing you did right, but not the only one.” Caleb found his hand, twining their fingers together. His grip would slacken in sleep, letting Essek extract himself without too much difficulty.

“I try to remember that. Thank you. Get some sleep.”

Caleb didn’t want to close his eyes, knowing Essek wouldn’t be there in the morning. But Essek had to leave sometime, and he was giving Caleb every moment he could spare. So Caleb closed his eyes and relaxed into the pillow.

“I love you, Essek.”

“I love you, Caleb.”

Sometimes they didn’t need to say it. It was always true, whether or not they put it into words. Tonight, however, they both felt just a little more fragile, a little more vulnerable, and the words helped.

And then Caleb slept. The last thing he remembered was Essek’s fingers dancing sweetly in his hair.

****

Waking alone, Caleb tried not to be too dour in the morning, but given Yasha kept trying to find things around the house to keep him busy, he was clearly not doing a good job. He had to meet with Astrid (and probably Wulf) later in the day to discuss work some more, and he needed to bring up the Volstrucker survivors. Maybe Astrid had already been working on contacting them, but it wasn’t clear. It needed to be.

For now, however, he let Yasha drag him out to the garden. He liked having his hands in the soil, coaxing life out of the earth. After dealing so much death in this world, it was nice to put life back into it. He knew Yasha felt the same. It also let him reminisce about some of his less painful memories of home. Planting green beans with his mother.

It was also a little easier to bask in the afterglow of last night out here in the sun.

“Did you have a good time last night?” Yasha asked. Caleb was glad Beauregard was already at work. She wouldn’t tease him, but he knew she would have to restrain herself.

“Ja,” Caleb said quietly.

“He’s soft with you. It’s lovely.” She watched him, and she saw a little too well. “You miss him.”

“A lot, ja.”

“You’re good for each other,” she said. “I’m glad you have him, even if it’s not all the time.”

Caleb knew his smile was incredibly sad, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Me too.”

Essek’s Sending reached him in that moment. “Hello, love. I have arrived at my destination in one piece. A little further away than intended, but unharmed. How’s your morning?” A slight pause. “I love you.” Ah, he’d realised he had three words left.

Full of warmth from the sun and Essek’s word economy, Caleb responded, “Hallo, Essek. Glad you are safe. I am gardening with Yasha.” She waved. “She says hi. We had leftover bread for breakfast. Talk soon. Love you, too.”

“That’s very sweet, Caleb.”

He chuckled, and it sounded a little more fragile than he would’ve liked. “Careful. I will start crying again.”

“Hey, that’s okay. I’ve been crying a lot, too. I think it’s a good thing.”

Maybe. Caleb found it too unsettling to have that view on it. He stood up from the ground, knees damp with morning dew, and dusted the grass off his trousers. Establishing a garden here, and actually putting his own hands in the dirt this time, felt permanent. Unless something went very wrong, they were going to be here for a long time.

Yasha hadn’t had a stable home for years, either. And she also had awful violence and loss baked into her past, and terrifying blank patches in her memory. It was easy to spend quiet time with her, because they understood each other in a way the others sometimes couldn’t.

They enjoyed a quiet cup of tea on the steps linking the back door to the garden. Yasha was partway through repairing the fence back here, and she insisted on working with it alone; magic would end the project too quickly.

The sun reflected in her whitening hair, glowing like the radiance inside her. She deserved all the gentle mornings; she wore them well. Yasha gazed out at the barest beginnings of their garden, and she smiled.

“This suits you,” Caleb said.

“I’m getting used to it,” she replied softly. “After so long, I get to just be a…” She caught herself. “Well. I’m not a wife.”

“For now.”

She chuckled. “For now. It’s nice here. I get to bake bread, and grow a little garden, and welcome the people I love when they come home. And I get to love whoever I want. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“You deserve it. You deserve peace.”

Yasha smiled into her teacup. “Beau tells me that every day. I think I’m starting to believe it. What about you?”

A short question, with a complicated answer. “Sometimes. I do not know if I will ever feel like I deserve this without reservation. It is getting easier. Having a mission helps, I think.”

“We can do this,” Yasha told him. She said it quietly, but with every ounce of determination she had. Yasha had a lot. Caleb was struck by her soft strength, as he often was. Letting oneself be gentle after years of violence and pain was one of the hardest things to do. Caleb knew that all too well.

Caleb held out his fist, and she bumped it. “Ja, we got this.”

And he actually believed it. If only a little bit.

****

Caleb had an easier time walking into Soltryce Academy this time. Starting from a far more energised and calm place than last time carried him through the memories. Entering Astrid’s office was still a little painful, but he was strong enough to handle it.

Astrid and Wulf were seated in armchairs in front of the fireplace, reading. There was a pile on the table between them, and evident gaps on the bookshelves. They had rarely gotten to read books from Trent’s personal collection. The silent fuck you was vindicating, even vicariously.

“The old man had some interesting material,” Astrid said in Zemnian, skipping over the pleasantries. They didn’t need them at this point. She messaged him frequently enough that it felt like they were simply picking up a briefly dropped conversation. They usually spoke Zemnian when they did not have non-speakers to contend with, and Wulf followed suit. They would occasionally borrow a word or phrase from Common if the sentiment worked better.

Wulf snorted. “Pretty dry reading. You’ll like it, Bren.”

Caleb shrugged. “Once a nerd, always a nerd.”

Wulf set the book on the table, stretching; his shirt rode up a little bit and Caleb kept his eyes on his face with a great deal of effort. “If you want more colourful reading, the smut shop you were asking about is on the north side of the market.”

“Kingsley asked me.”

“Uh-huh,” Wulf said flatly.

“Listen, you cannot flirt with all my friends and then take that tone with me.”

“Just did.”

Caleb resisted the somewhat mild urge to scream. Wulf and Astrid were both very good at putting him off-balance, in very different ways. “Whatever makes you happy, Wulf. Astrid, can we talk about Advanced Transmutation? I am going to explode if I don’t talk about this in the next ten seconds.”

Astrid had been watching his exchange with a cocked eyebrow, but she smoothed out her expression and gestured towards a third armchair, closer to the fire.

He sat down, holding one hand out towards the warmth. “Astrid, I say this with all the respect in the world: what the fuck?”

“The advanced classes are in a delicate situation,” Astrid replied. “Professor Weber and I want as many of the Volstrucker program survivors back in school as possible. You are a better person to work with them than Bettina, and with any students who lost loved ones in the war. She told you her reasons, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Then what is the problem?”

“Aside from my lack of qualifications and the fact I never technically graduated from the Academy?”

“Bren, your practical experience outweighs all of that. Bettina will help you with the rest.”

“Astrid suggested you take the advanced students,” Wulf said casually, leafing through another tome as if he wasn’t throwing a bomb into the conversation.

Caleb felt an ache in his gut, and he had to close his eyes and compose himself. “Astrid. Why?”

“The Academy is about to throw those children into the world,” she replied quietly. “Whatever lessons you wish to impart, you have to impart them now. Not only that, but Bettina is not well-suited to teach survivors of the Volstrucker program. She has spent her entire life in the Academy. They will not take her seriously. Some may resent her for not doing something about the abuse happening right under her nose. She told you that.”

“How many survivors do you expect we will have?” asked Caleb.

“I am still trying to track them down,” Astrid replied, with an edge of frustration.

“I was meaning to talk to you about the Volstrucker.” Caleb had been racking his brain whenever he had the time and energy. There was no formal infrastructure to support the survivors of the program. If Caleb hadn’t met Veth, and then later the Nein, things could have gone very badly for him in so many different ways.

“Talk,” Astrid said.

“These people need help,” he said. “Unless we get that mental health support I asked for, we are effectively on our own. Even if the Assembly throws us crumbs, nobody can understand what it was like except others like us. We need to talk to each other. Regularly, if possible.”

Wulf’s eyes stopped scanning the page. “Do you really think Volstrucker will want to talk to each other about this shit?”

“Who else is there?” Caleb said plainly. “They--we deserve the chance to support each other. Regular meetings, if we can. A support group, I suppose. Low pressure. Just a group of people who understand each other going through yet another upheaval in a life filled with them.”

Astrid watched him closely, eyes narrowed in thought. “Interesting. I think I understand where this idea came from.”

“We got each other through a lot back in the day,” said Caleb. “But we weren’t equipped for it. There was no blueprint for what we were to each other, but we did our best. Until it wasn’t enough. And later, I had the Nein. I would not be here without them. I owe them everything. Not everyone has people like that.”

“I’ll find us a place and let you know,” Astrid said.

“Thank you.” Caleb had expected he would be a little emotional about it, so at least he was prepared to ward off tears. “Thank you so much.”

Astrid averted her eyes, gazing into the fire. “As for your job, most of the children in the program have been located. Some of their parents have pulled them out of school. I am… trying to talk them out of that. The last thing we need are traumatised, half-trained adolescents running around unchecked.”

Caleb was hung up on her wording. Most of the children had been found. “There are some unaccounted for?”

“Two. Felix and Nicolaus. They’re both seventeen.” Astrid didn’t need to point out why their age was a problem.

There was no time to panic; Caleb needed details. “What do we know about them?”

“I worked with them a little,” Astrid replied. “They are close, not unlike the three of us at their age. If we find one, we may find the other. They are from Blumenthal. The Crownsguard are keeping an eye out, but I do not trust them to handle this with the care this situation requires.”

“Specialisations?”

“Both Evocation.”

Caleb didn’t need to say aloud how bad this could be. Two missing Evocation wizards, on the edge of graduating the Volstrucker program, who had possibly had their memories modified and orders distributed. It had been a few months since Trent would have last had contact with them. The worst could already have happened. Then again, Caleb had been in Blumenthal not that long ago to visit his parents, and he hadn’t heard anything that would have given him pause.

“I was in Blumenthal a few weeks ago,” Caleb said. “If they followed through on an order, it was likely after that. I’d… like to think I would have noticed otherwise. Most people seem to agree that I am rather intelligent.” The dry humour probably wasn’t appropriate in this moment, but he needed to keep himself calm and sarcasm usually worked a treat. “In more recent times, I would assume word would have gotten back to you. Maybe we are not too late.”

“Optimism is a new look for you, Bren,” said Wulf.

Caleb would never call himself an optimist, but he could see why Wulf was uncomfortable, even if he hid it behind one part sarcasm and one part a veiled flirt. “Wulf, I have seen a lot of things in this past year alone that have… changed me. There was a time, not too long ago, when I did not expect to survive the week. And… look at us now. We are sitting here in Astrid’s office, reading Trent’s old books because he is stuck in a dark hole and cannot do anything to us. I spent the morning gardening with Yasha. My friends bought me a quilt because it reminded me of my mother. Things are better for me than they have been in a very long time. So, I am trying new things, like having hope sometimes.”

“Point taken,” Wulf murmured, averting his eyes. Tense. Uncomfortable.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything about the boys,” Astrid said. “Whatever happens… I think you should be there.

[princecharmingmendes]

Best Friend's Brother | Raul Mendes

Growing up with your best friend is amazing, having this loving and caring relationship is fantastic, planning your lives together seemed natural, what Y/N didn’t include in her plans was falling in love with Raul Mendes, Peter’s brother.

Hi hi, lovies! I know, I know, I disappeared, but I’m back with a Raul piece! It’s been ages since the last time I posted something and I missed it so much! I had a really hard time writing for the past few weeks and I’m really happy that I was finally able to finish it. So I’m so sorry it took me way too long and thank you so much for being so patient, really 💘 I’ll stop rambling now! I hope you enjoy it!

*Word Count: 8.5k+

*Warnings: a few curse words, drinking, injure (sprained ankle in case this triggering), and I guess that’s it!

*Posted: October 5th, 2020.

                                                     -*-

You could say Y/N was in trouble.

Growing up with someone right beside you will always create that invisible string that’ll keep you two together for, what some say, the rest of your life. It forms a bond so strong you can tell what they’re feeling just by a single look in their eyes and you just know exactly what to do. And if life allows you, you’ll keep them around for a long time and have them around you for every occasion, being it good or bad, but always near you to support you. And thankfully, that were the triplets for her. She met them in High School, Shawn was obsessed with music, Peter was the cute nerd that took amazing pictures and Raul was the typical bad boy and Y/N was a sweet and quiet bookworm. They met when she was asked to tutor Raul and he ended up asking her to meet him at his place, and that’s how she ended up with three best friends and a crush.

She was a bit closer to Peter since they had similar interests in general and also had similar plans on Friday nights, and they’re basically glued to the hip and everyone outside from their little bubble were one hundred percent sure they’re together somehow. And the fact that the three of them (Shawn was too busy touring the world) went to the same college didn’t exactly helped with the rumors. But in reality, the triplet that makes her heart skip a bit, her stomach to do flips and her breath to get caught on her throat was Raul. And if she was honest, how could someone honestly resist him? Girls who didn’t even know him normally wanted him, and Y/N knew him like the back of her hand and knew that behind the bad boy exterior there was the softest and biggest heart on the planet, was almost impossible to resist.

And even though she had all this feelings and felt all warm inside when he playfully winked at her, she never acted on them. Peter obviously knew about it, but she never told anyone else. Hell, she didn’t even tell him, he somehow managed to notice it.

Peter tried encouraging her to talk to him about it or do something about the whole thing, mostly because he was tired of seeing her suffering every single time she saw him with another girl, which wasn’t very uncommon. But she never did. Y/N doesn’t like comparing girls, that’s just mean, because everyone is different, and just because you don’t look like someone doesn’t mean you’re not enough or good at all, just makes you unique, but she can’t help thinking she’s not his ‘type’. Not that she noticed he has a specific body type or something, she’s just not the kind of person who would catch his eye.

It’s just he literally models on the side, goes to med school and has amazing grades, while still going on parties, having hook ups and living his best life while getting tattoos and having fun. While Y/N likes to light up a candle and read a good book on her couch, maybe with Peter while they eat some pizza and discuss from the latest thing that happened on campus to the theory of wormholes. They are close, they are friends, but they are polar opposites.

And the worst part? He acts as if she was the reason the sun rose every single day and treats her as if she’s the reason he’s capable of breathing, but in a “you’re my best friend and I love you like you are family” type of thing, not in a “I am hopelessly in love with you”. He was very touchy and big on pet names, specially when Peter went to sleep and it was just the two of them watching stuff on his living room, but never did anything to lead her into thinking he likes her more than a friend. It’s all her fault for looking too much into it and having her heart broken whenever he had a girl over when she was there (which wasn’t that common since he wasn’t big into having a serious relationship, at least not enough to bring someone to their flat) or when she saw him all heart eyes or making out with someone.

Y/N swears she tried burying those feelings down, even going as far as hanging out less with him and avoiding going to his place, taking way too long to reply to his texts and dodging him everywhere she could like the plague. He wasn’t having it, so he randomly showed up at her dorm room at midnight, looking like an abandoned puppy and begging her to forgive him for whatever he had done that upset her so badly. And that’s when she decided that maybe that wasn’t her greatest idea. That maybe all she needed to do was just to forget those stupid feelings and butterflies that felt like ripping out of her body whenever he smiled at her. Well, that didn’t work either. So, to sum it all up, Y/N was in trouble.

In a big, big, gigantic trouble.

                                                    -*-

So it was a Friday night when Peter called her to crash at his place so they could watch the last season of How to Get Away with Murder while he worked on a project for his class or something like that, and she agreed almost immediately, it’s not like she planned on doing much better. Y/N gathered what she considered to be important in a few seconds cause he told her he was going to pick her up since he was still on campus and ran to the entrance of her building, already seeing his car parked outside. The ride to his place was quiet and consisted on them basically talking about what theories they had for the end of the season since they met for lunch.

“I don’t think Raul’s home yet, his bike wasn’t on his usual parking space” Peter hummed as he opened the door to his apartment.

“Yeah, I didn’t see it either” was all she could answer. And Y/N didn’t know how to feel about it, it’s been a week since she had the chance to talk to him and she missed it,  but at the same time, she wasn’t going to end up a blushing mess around his natural flirty persona.

“Let me just grab my camera and computer, you can drop your stuff on the guest room if you want”

“Okay, don’t start the show without me” she said before starting to walk away and all she could hear was a ‘don’t take too long then’ Peter muttered under his breath.

She giggled to herself from his silliness as she placed her backpack on the bed and took off her shoes, getting rid of her jacket and pulling her hair in a loose ponytail, only grabbing her phone as she got back to meet Peter on the living room, already on the couch with his stuff around him as he let out a frustrated groan.

“What’s wrong, grumpy?”

“Raul’s an idiot, he took the remote to his room since he stepped on his or something like that and he’s too lazy to get his fixed or return the other one to its place”

“But is it in his room?”

“Probably, could you please grab it for me?”

“Wouldn’t he get mad I got into his room without him being around?”

“Oh please, Y/N, Raul mad at you? He’d probably get mad at me for making you go in there to grab it for us”

“It’s not like that”

“Of course it is, Raul could never even look at you slightly pissed, and even if he did, he’d feel guilty”

“If he gets mad I’ll tell him it was your fault”

“He won’t, honey, he’s not even home yet”

“Fine” she ended up giving up, arguing with Peter was always pointless.

So Y/N turned around and headed for Raul’s room, knocking tentatively and without response, she just got in and tried to find the control without looking at his stuff for too long, she didn’t want to be nosy. Since she was busy with the task of finding it, she didn’t notice the soft sounds coming from the bathroom or the gentle click of the door when someone opened it. Her attention was finally brought the other side of the room, when she hear someone clearing their throat. Her eyes widened as she looked up only to find Raul standing across from her, with his hair damp and naked apart from the fluffy towel hanging low on his hips.

He had a little smirk on his lips and a funny expression, but that didn’t stop from almost giving Y/N a heart attack. She started mumbling a string of apologies as she covered eyes with both hands, walking backward until she hit her head on a shelf and tripped over something, falling right on her butt.

“Ouch!” she said reaching one of her hands on the back of her head to try and relive some of the throbbing, still covering her eyes “I’m so so so incredibly sorry, I didn’t mean to simply walk in here, but we thought you weren’t home, and I knocked, and Peter told me to come in here to grab the remote, and said you wouldn’t mind, and...”

“Hey, no, it’s okay” Raul said hurriedly, walking towards her a crouching down in front of her, lightly wrapping his fingers around her wrists “Y/N, it’s okay, look at me, love”

And with the gentle tug on her hands she decided to let go, opening her eyes to be met with his honey orbs “I’m so so sorry, I really didn’t mean to invade your privacy, if I knew you’d be here I wouldn’t- I would never come in, please don’t be mad at me, please”

“Oh, sweetheart, there’s no reason for you to apologize, really, I’m not even naked, or completely naked at least, and even if I was? wouldn’t have minded, yeah?” Raul said gently cupping her face “and I’m not mad at you, how could I ever be mad at you? You’re the sweetest person I know and you didn’t do anything wrong”

“I’m sorry” Y/N mumbled softly and he just chuckled, leaning in and pressing a kiss at the top of her head.

“It’s okay, are you staying the night?”

She nodded “we’re having a marathon, we’re rewatching How to Get Away with Murder”

“Oh, do you mind if I join?”

“You’re not busy?”

“Not at all, but it’s okay if you want to watch just the two of you”

“No, of course not, you can join us if you want”

“Are you ordering food or do you want me to make us something?”

“We didn’t order anything, and I don’t want to bother you with cooking”

“I’d gladly do it, I can make us something quick so it won’t get in the middle of your shows

“I really don’t want to bother you, Raul”

“It’s not a bother, come on, the remote is over there, I’ll change real quick and make us something to eat, and you two can start the show, I’ll meet you guys in the middle, yeah? Sounds good?”

“Sounds amazing”

“Now go, you pervert, I need to change” he said trying to hold back a laugh.

“Oh, sure” she mumbled as she scrambled to get back at her feet.

“Or you can just stay and enjoy the show" Raul threw a wink at her direction as she was already by the door.

Y/N only closed his door a bit harsher than she should, feeling her whole body heating up, she just couldn’t decide if it was of embarrassment or... something else. She shook her head to get rid of the dirty thoughts about her best friend’s brother out of her head and got back to Peter at the leaving room. Seeing he was sitting at the armchair, with all of his stuff around him for him to work comfortably, leaving her the loveseat.

“Oh hey, is Raul at home?!”

“Yeah, he was at the shower, so thank you for putting me in that position”

“Was he mad at you?”

“No”

“Told ya, got the remote?”

“Yeah, by the way, he’s going to make us dinner and join us later”

“Oh, thought he was going out tonight” Peter said opening his computer  “do you want to arrange the show?”

“Don’t you think we should wait for him?”

“Nah, don’t think so”

“Wait for who?” Raul asked coming out of the hallway wearing a pair of sweatpants and thin white T-shirt.

“You, to start the show” Peter answered without looking up from the screen.

“Oh no, go ahead, I’ll make us some food and I’ll bring you guys some, okay?”

“Do you need help?”

“No, it’s okay, sweetheart, it’ll be pretty basic”

Y/N hummed in response as she started the first episode and things were as normal as every Friday she spent watching anything with Peter. Only this time, he was a bit less focused on the show and more on his work, but still was able to make comments about the all the scenes. They would both laugh and joke around a lot more than actually watch anything, specially since this wasn’t the first time they watched this. Almost at the end of the first episode, Raul showed up with plates of a very appetizing looking pasta, placing one in front of Peter and one on Y/N’s lap. He went back into the kitchen and coming back with his own, plopping down beside Y/N.

“This is the first, right?”

“Yeah, the end of it”

“Oh, it’s been a while since the last time I watched it, I don’t think I’ve ever finished it”

“Really?”

“I kind of forgot it, I was watching another one at the time, but I remember liking it a lot”

“Well it’s a great thing we decided to follow the episodes and not just jump into our favorites, and by the way, this is amazing”

“Oh, thanks, it’s really simple actually”

“Don’t even start, you always make the most basic stuff like grilled cheese taste like gourmet food”

“He just likes to be praised” Peter said with a chuckle.

“Fuck off, Peter” Raul chuckled and before he could throw a pillow at him, Y/N grabbed his wrist “hey!”

“His camera is there”

“Oh”

“Thanks, Y/N, but this pasta is actually amazing, I have to give you that”

“Was that too hard?” Raul asked and Peter just shrugged with a laugh.

“Maybe we should focus on the show” Y/N said pressing the next episode before they both decided to start something.

Peter got up after they finished dinner to place everyone’s dishes in the sink, going back to his place and work silently. As they watched the episodes, Peter was getting silent as he focused more on his work and Raul was the one commenting on the episodes and talking to Y/N. Which she didn’t mind at all. He was always pretty funny and manage to make her laugh at the silliest jokes.

Maybe that’s the reason so many people were attracted to him. He had a mysterious vibe going on, since he was pretty close with people in general, but could be a sweetheart with the close ones, he had the looks that had everyone’s head turning, he was funny and intelligent. He’s just so good and she hates to admit that even her fell for his charming smile and golden heart. And when he leaned a bit closer to her as the episodes went by, she hated to admit that her body felt a bit warmer and she was itching to lean into him as well. But what made it worse was him laying his head on her lap as he wrapped himself in a throw blanket, giving her a sheepish smile and turning back to the TV. That had her fingers practically moving to its own accord to tangle on his curls, and she couldn’t help but brush them out of his face. And just as she was about to mumble an apology, he let out a content sigh and leaned into her hand.

After a few moments Peter looked up at them and just chuckled softly, and as Y/N looked up at him he just shook his head and pointed towards Raul “He fell asleep with you playing with his hair, just like a puppy”

“Do you think he’ll mind when he wakes up?” she said barely above a whisper.

“Not at all, he loves you, he can never be upset with you”

“That’s not true”

“It is, ask Shawn or Aaliyah, they’ll agree, he’s got a soft spot only for you”

“Shut it, Peter, we’ve known each other for years, he’s just nice because I’m your best friend”

“That’s not true, but I’ll drop it, I think I might go to bed now”

“Okay, I think I’m going to finish this episode”

“You know you can wake him up, right?”

“I know, I just don’t know if I feel like doing it”

“I can do it for you” Peter offered as he gathered his stuff.

“No, it’s okay, I’m going to finish this episode first”

“Do you want me to roll out the sofa and make it more comfortable for you? You don’t have to move”

“Yes please”

“Okay” he answered as he leaned down to extend the couch into a kind of makeshift bed as carefully as he could to not disturb his brother “call me if you need anything”

“Okay, thanks, Peter” she said smiling at him as he shook his head and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.

“Goodnight, dummy”

“Night, Peter”

He grabbed his stuff and threw one last look at her direction, but she was far too distracted with Raul’s curls to have noticed, and he caught a glimpse of his brother slowly opening his eyes, only to close them again and nuzzle closer to Y/N. Peter hold back a laugh as he went back to his room, he would never figure out how the most brilliant people he knew could be so oblivious.

                                                    -*-

Y/N didn’t intend to fall asleep, but the warmth radiating from his body, the soft light coming from the TV and the soft cushions lulled her to sleep without her even noticing. She only noticed she fell asleep when she woke up to rushed whispers in the living room and the soft click of the front door closing.

She was a bit confused, but the strong Raul’s strong scent and the comfortable position she was currently at made it hard for her to come back into consciousness. But as soon as she opened her eyes, Y/N noticed she had her face nuzzled into Raul’s neck, with her body partially on top of him and cuddled close with his arm around her waist. Her immediate  thought was to pretend to be asleep so she could come up with a better plan of getting rid of the embarrassment. But before she could do anything, she heard Raul’s warm chuckle.

“Morning, sweetheart” he said combing his fingers through her hair gently, almost making her melt back into his chest.

“Hi” she said sitting up and knuckling at his eyes softly “I didn’t even notice when I fell asleep”

“Me neither, I was completely drained”

“I’m sorry for -you know, being on top of you”

“Oh, it’s okay, I woke up in the middle of the night and I didn’t feel like waking you up, cause you seemed so peaceful, so I just rearranged us, and I guess we ended up cuddled”

“Yeah” Y/N said brushing her hair out of her face.

“You know I don’t mind, right?”

“Mind what?”

Raul gave her a knowing look and she could feel her face beating up “It happens, sweetheart, and there’s no reason to be ashamed, I slept like a baby with you”

“Oh, I slept well too, is Peter gone already?”

“Yeah, he said something about having to buy something for his camera or something like it”

“He saw us?”

“You make it seem like we were doing something so scandalous, he found it cute actually” he said with a chuckle.

“Oh, okay”

Raul gently grabbed her hand and placed a kiss at the back of it “Relax, darling, hungry?”

“A bit, yeah”

“Want to go and grab breakfast? I can drop you home after if you want”

“That’d be amazing, but only if you’re available”

“Of course I am, I always have time for you, now let’s go, I’m starving”

“Already?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for a while now”

“Why?!”

“Didn’t want to disturb you, you needed to rest, sweetheart”

“You’re too sweet”

“Only for you” he said throwing a little wink on her direction.

He had no idea how much that affected her.

                                                    -*-

Aaliyah’s birthday was always an amazing event. The triplets always committed to provide her the best birthday they could every single year and they never let her down. It has always been like this since the triplets parties were always nice for the three boys, they felt like they needed to give her the best time possible. She was their little baby after all.

This year was no different.

Her seventeenth birthday party was beautiful and she was literally gleaming, surrounded by her closest friends and family. Raul had a tough week and was feeling a bit off for a few days, there were many reasons to it but he could never ruin his sister’s birthday, so he put on his best smile and went smoothly along with his siblings. He tried his best having fun and forgetting about everything else, but he about half an hour into the party he sat down by the bar and decided just to sit there and drink until he felt lightheaded. Raul just sat there and watched everyone, sometimes having a small talk with anyone who sat down beside him, but mostly, his gaze was constantly searching for Y/N. He didn’t mean to act like a thirteen year old boy with a school crush, he didn’t even mean to keep on searching for her, but she looked so damn adorable he couldn’t help it. She was wearing a beautiful summer dress, in a peachy color that accentuated her gorgeous curves and of a silky kind of material, urging him to run his hands through it. But he knew better, he knew her since they’re kids and he knew he wasn’t what she needed or wanted, or at least, that’s what seemed. So he just stood there, watching from a safe distance and from time to time, but as soon as he started feeling tipsier than he desired, he decided to move away from the bar and take a breath of fresh air.

As soon as he got in the balcony, he let out a sigh of relief as he noticed no one was around, so he would have a least a little bit of peace. He placed both of his hands on the stone railing, feeling his footing not the most balanced one, maybe he had too many drinks for the night and maybe he should go back and grab a bottle of water and something to eat. But before he could actually really think about it, Raul heard a pair of heels clicking behind him, and since no one called him or made a noise to call his attention he just ignored. He felt the person coming closer and he saw on his peripheral the same coloured dress he’d been staring all night. As he turned his face slightly on the person’s direction, he saw Y/N standing beside him, mimicking his position and looking down at the city. Neither of them felt like breaking the silence, so they just enjoyed each other’s company in a comfortable silence. At least until he saw her body shivering from the colder temperature it was outside, which led him to taking out his leather jacket for her and handing it to her.

“It’s okay, I don’t want you to be cold” Y/N mumbled as if not to disturb the peaceful environment.

“I’m okay, sweetheart, but you’re visibly cold”

“Thank you” she said giving him a soft smile that made his whole body warm up as she put on his jacket, wrapping her arms around her own body “but let me know if you need it back”

Raul chuckled “Fine”

“So… Are you going to pretend everything’s okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Raul, I’ve known you all my life, you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, you just don’t have to act as if you’re fine around me”

“It’s silly and nothing to worry about, really, you should go and enjoy the party”

“I’m okay here, actually, ’m a bit tired”

“Oh” he said with a nod and looked forward at nothing in particular.

“And I also didn’t want to leave you all alone, and I want you to know that I’m here in case you want to talk”

“Thank you” he said turning to face her and she looked up at him ‘’you’re beautiful, but tonight you look just perfect”

“Oh, thanks” Y/N brushed the hair out of her face “you look gorgeous, as always”

“Yeah, I do, right?” he joked as she giggled, making a smirk appear on his lips.

“Yeah, right” she said looking down at the city.

Raul spoke up after a few moments of silence, regretting almost immediately “I saw you with Mike yesterday”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, you’re leaving the movies at the mall, Peter asked me to buy his new lens and I saw the both of you, was it nice?”

“What?”

“The date”

“Oh, no, it wasn’t like that, he’s actually into Jeff and we go to the same classes since I got in college, he needed to vent and to get distracted, so we went to see a movie”

“Sorry, I had no idea”

“No need to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong”

And back to the silence. Raul was embarrassed for bringing it up and relieved in a very selfish way she wasn’t going out with him. And he was also afraid he was going to blurt another inappropriate question or comment, the alcohol normally tended to make him lose his filter.

“Was it a shitty week?”

“Huh?” Raul hummed looking back at her.

“Was it a shitty week? That left you like this”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that”

“Is it about the girl you were seeing?”

“Anna? No, we’re not going out anymore, I haven’t even seen her in a while” He answered taking a deep breath “It’s just, sometimes I wish I had someone that understood me, that was there for me, that cared about me besides my family, I don’t know, and I had so much work to do this week was insane, I’m sorry for rambling, I’m just- I don’t even know, I’m sorry”

“Hey, it’s okay, you can ramble as much as you want, sometimes it gets hard, and you should know by now that I’m here for you and that I care for you, yeah?” Y/N said reaching for his hand and squeezing it lightly and he nodded, pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you” he mumbled against her hair as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Now come on, let’s sober you up a bit for the cake, okay?” she said placing her chin on his sternum to look up at him and he nodded chuckling lightly.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart”

“Don’t give me this amount of power, Raul, I might regret it”

“Would never regret it, ’sides, I’m already yours for you to do whatever you want” he said and her heart did a flip, but she only giggled.

“Oh, darling, you have no idea of the mistake you just made” she said grabbing his hand as he slotted their fingers together, letting her drag him back inside.

And to be honest? The party was much better after she showed up to talk to him, specially since she was practically glued to his side making sure he was having a good time.

                                                   -*-

To say Y/N and Raul got closer was an understatement. Since his sister’s birthday, they were hanging out pretty much every single day they could, Peter was involved almost all of the time, but something that didn’t happen before was only Y/N and Raul going out alone just for the sake of hanging out. And even though it was completely new, it felt completely natural as if they’re the closest for years. So, for the past month she felt really connected to him and she also felt her crush multiplying like crazy, which could end up pretty bad, but she couldn’t stop herself from being closer and wanting to be around him. And when Shawn called Raul on FaceTime one night and who picked up was Y/N he was delighted. He was coming home on the next weekend and he suggested they went camping, like they did when they’re younger, renting cabins, bonfire, guitar and marshmallows type of thing.

And of course the triples were instantly excited and planning everything and Y/N was included on the camping trip from the moment she picked up the phone, her wanting or not. Not that she was opposed.

So they rented the cabins, one for Peter and Y/N, one for Shawn, Brian and Raul, and one for Mark, one of the guys’ friend and his girlfriend. Raul took her to the market the night before of the trip to buy supplies and food (mostly snacks, but Raul insisted on buying at least some stuff to make a real meal).ul insisted on buying at least a few things to make a real meal for them “we can’t survive two days with cookies and marshmallows, baby”). He even went to her place to help her pack and offered her to stay the night and his flat with Peter so she could sleep a bit more before they hit the road the next day. She couldn’t deny, specially when Peter was complaining Raul was stealing her from him and that he missed her, and since Raul was pouting and begging while using the silliest pet names he could come up with, and he was pretty creative.

When the time to wake up and get ready to leave, she was awaken by rowdy boys on the hallway, clearly too excited to go camping, just like children as they practically bounced on their feet. The ride was pretty nice, she even took a nap on Shawn’s shoulder as Raul and Peter listened to something on the radio softly and chattered about random stuff. Arriving there brought back that nostalgic feeling of when they’re young and came here twice a month on summer days. They quickly dropped their bags on their respective cabins and went out the explore, going to the lake until it was lunchtime and everyone was starving.

After resting a bit, they decided to go on a hike up the hill to watch the sunset from the top of it. Which was clearly filled with jokes, laughs and a bunch of random pranks they pulled off. If anyone was to tell their age, they’d never say anything over 15 years old. Sarah, the only girl on the group apart from Y/N was pretty nice and was walking side by side with her, laughing at the boys and just talking about everything when Raul came back, face flushed from laughing too hard and grabbing Y/N’s hand.

“I was informed your boyfriend misses you and I’m here to keep miss Y/N company”

“Very well then” she said giggling and throwing Y/N a knowing look and a little wink, walking a bit faster to reach John.

“What?” Y/N asked as she heard Raul laughing “what did you do?”

“Hey! I didn’t do anything”

“Oh really?”

“I did not! Brian did though”

“Oh God, what is it then?”

“He might’ve pushed John into the mud” Raul said sheepishly and Y/N laughed.

“And why do you seem so guilty?”

“Cause I was the one who saw it”

“Of course you did” she said slightly bumping her shoulder into him.

“I wasn’t the one who pushed him though”

“That’s true, but doesn’t make you completely innocent”

“It’s not my fault I pay attention to stuff”

“No, but it is your fault telling Brian you saw it”

“You got me there” he said bumping her shoulder back as he chuckled and she laughed shaking her head.

“Hey, lovebirds, come on, it’s almost staring!” Shawn shouted a few feet away already at the top.

Y/N felt her cheeks heating up and Raul just laughed, walking to where everyone was already waiting for the sunset.

They sat down to watch the process, and since they’re both the last ones to reach the top, they sat down in the end of the semicircle they formed. Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder and he did the same, laying his head on top of hers as they chattered watching the sun to set on the horizon. Y/N’s heart felt a bit warmer being so close to Raul and having such a beautiful view. He grabbed one of her hands and placed it on his lap, carefully playing with her fingers and tracing random patterns at the back of her hand.

“Maybe we should go back before if gets too dark” Peter suggested as everyone got up and grabbed their stuff.

On the way back the guys were trying to make it as an obstacle course, always making fun of every situation as Y/N and Sarah laughed leading the way. At least until Brian called out Y/N when she started roaring with laughter as he fell face first on the mud.

“That’s what I call Karma”

“It’s easy to laugh and not do anything princess, bet I can get to the cabin before you do”

“Well, I was on the tracking team”

“Well, I’m better than you”

“First one to get there is free from all the chores?”

“Deal” Brian said “on three, who’s counting?”

“I am!” John chirped in.

“This is not the greatest ide-” Peter was cut off by John”

“3... 2... 1 and GO!”

That was all it took for both of them to start running down the hill as they laughed, the others hurrying their steps to follow them. The cabins weren’t that far and as soon as Y/N got there, she tripped in one of the firewoods the guys placed there sooner, falling down and feeling the pain crawling up her leg in a burning sensation.

“Fuck, Y/N!” Brian was the first to arrive, kneeling down beside her “are you okay?! Are you hurt?! What the hell?! Who let this shit in here?!”

“It’s okay, I-“ her words got caught in her throat as she tried to move her feet to get up, feeling her eyes welling up with tears from the burning sensation.

“Y/N!” Raul shouted rushing towards her, flopping down beside her “what happened?”

“She tripped on the damn firewood someone left here early”

“It’s not their fault” she let out with her voice a bit strained.

“It doesn’t matter right now, what’s hurting, baby?”

“My foot”

“Which one?”

“Left”

“Can I see it?” he asked and she just nodded, knowing that if she spoke another word her voice would break and she would start crying for real.

“Holy shit, what’s going on?” Shawn was the first to ask.

“She tripped and now she’s hurt”

“Do you need me to get you something?!” Peter was the first to offer.

“Yeah, I brought an aid kit in case something happened, it’s in the car, also, grab me a bottle of water” Raul said almost robotically as he carefully worked on taking her shoe off “it’s swelling, it looks like a sprained ankle, but it doesn’t seem like you feared any ligaments for now”

“Should we go back?” Shawn asked.

“No! Please don’t!” Y/N barely chocked out as Raul looked up at her and she focused on looking at him because it was calming her a bit “I don’t want you guys to miss all the fun due to my clumsiness”

“Honey, we don’t mind, we ca-”

“Please, Shawn, I- no, okay? I want to stay, and it’s dangerous to drive at night” Y/N cut him off, still looking directly at Raul.

“Here!” Peter said coming back with a bag.

“Thanks, I don’t think it’s too bad” Raul finally said “I’ll keep on checking it through the night, if the swelling gets too bad or if there are any signs that she might have tore or stretched a ligament I’ll take her back, is that okay?” he asked and she just nodded, looking down at her lap.

“You should stay with her tonight, I can spend the night with Shawn and Brian if she doesn’t mind” Peter offered.

“I’d appreciate it, do you mind, Y/N?” Raul asked and she nodded “okay, I’ll take her to her cabin so we can have a better look at it and shower, can you guys take care of the bonfire?”

“Sure, do whatever you need to” John said.

“Okay, can I pick you up, sweetheart?” and again she just nodded, so he picked her from the ground bridal style and carried her back to (now) their cabin.

“I’m okay, you don’t have to do this”

“Of course I do, and it’s okay, we need to put some ice on it, where do you want to sit?”

“Not on the bed, I’m probably too dirty to sit there”

“Okay” he replied placing her down on an armchair, with her feet up “wait just a sec” he said before going through the mini fridge to retrieve an icepack “here”

“Thank you”

“It’s okay, sweetheart” Raul said kneeling down beside her on the floor “is it hurting?”

“A bit, it was worse before”

“Okay, good, you can’t put much weight on it, yeah? Or it’ll only get worse” Raul softly grabbed her hand, lightly thumbing at her knuckles “if you need anything, just let me know and I’ll do it for you, yeah?”

“You don’t have to do this, I don’t want to bother you”

“You won’t, don’t worry about it”

“Raul, you’re literally going to have to babysit me, I’m ruining your weekend”

“You’re not ruining my weekend”

“Of course I am, this is what you do every single day, you’re supposed to be free to relax and not take care of people all the time”

“This is different, this is you we’re talking about and I really don’t mind spoiling you and caring you around the whole campsite if it need be, besides, I like doing what I do, so it’s no bother at all, you’re not ruining everything, now try to relax a bit, you don’t need sore muscles to appear too”

“Okay” Y/N squeezed his hand lightly.

“Good, I’m going to grab my stuff and hand Peter his, is it okay?”

“Yeah, sure”

“Be right back” he said placing a kiss to her forehead and leaving.

Y/N reached into her bag to grab a book to pass the time, Raul quickly came in and said we was going to shower so she would be free to do the same when the ice was done. She got so deep into reading it, that she barely noticed when he got out of the shower, only realized he was in the room when she her gentle humming to a song. Looking up from behind her book, only to find Raul with only a towel wrapped around his hips, looking through his duffle bag for something to wear. Y/N really tried to look away quickly, but maybe her brain was too clouded by him to actually make a quick move, and since he was literally standing in front of a mirror he caught her glimpsing at him, causing his famous smirk to appear on his lips as he got back into the bathroom to get dressed.

“Don’t” Y/N warned before he could even say a word when he came out with a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

“What?”

“Just don’t, I know you”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to be shy, you can look, I don’t mind, I actually like it”

Y/N scoffed and threw the pillow that was behind her at him as he laughed “Fuck off, Raul”

“Okay, stinky lady, let’s get you to the bathroom, I got a little plastic chair for you to sit instead of being on your feet”

“Hey! I’m not stinky”

“Oh really? How can you be so sure?”

“Shut up, Raul, I hate you”

“Fine, then you won’t be taken to the bathroom”

“Okay, then I’ll walk!” Y/N said standing up and before she could put her feet to the floor, Raul was swiping her off her feet (quite literally) and she let out a squeak as he chuckled “put me down!”

‘’Nope, you can’t simply walk without a cast or something, so I’ll be your knight and shining armour”

“My saviour” she mumbled rolling her eyes and he laughed, pressing a kiss to her cheek and placing her seated on the little plastic chair for her shower.

“Okay, smelly girl, do you need help with anything?”

“I think I’m good, can you just grab me something to wear?”

“Sure, ma’am”

And with that he left, only to come back with a similar look to his and left her to shower. It wasn’t the easiest event of her life, but she managed it just fine, trying to get out to the door by jumping in only on foot, and as soon she opened the door to the bedroom, Raul was already there by her side with furrowed brows, hands on her waist to steady her and helping her to the bed as he informed her they had a bonfire ready and food as well outside. And they decided to grab some shoes and meet the rest of the group outside, Raul tried wrapping her foot the best he could to imobilize it with what he had there, and he did a pretty great job. So they sat down on the little wood kind of benches already on the ground with everyone, and they started talking about the most random stuff and Brian was trying to convince everyone to tell creepy stories like the movies, which quickly turned into a huge joke cause they couldn’t be serious for a long time. The environment was pretty light and filled with laughs as they ate the burgers Peter was making, Shawn even grabbed the guitar and played some songs, that were quickly ruined by everyone else shouting atop of his voice and messing up the lyrics. As they started to roas the marshmallows and calm down a bit, acting like civilized humans again, Y/N started to feel a bit sleepy.

She was wrapped up in a cozy blanket with Raul, making her just absolutely toasty and comfy, a bit drowsy from the painkillers she took and all the food, feeling just delighted to be surrounded by this people. She loved to be around the triplets, and Brian and John have been around long enough that she was completely used to them and liked them very much. They always made sure she was okay and having fun, the whole Mendes Family if she’s honest, she always felt very welcomed and glad to have them around, specially since she grew up with them. Maybe it was all of that great feeling, associated with the medicine and the that comforting feeling, she felt herself leaning into Raul a bit as Y/N struggled to stay awake, and instead of pushing her softly or saying something about her falling asleep too soon, he wrapped his arm around her welcoming her in his arms as she laid her head on his chest. She heard his warm chuckle as he placed a kiss on the top of her hair.

“Do you want to go to bed?” he asked softly rubbing intricate shapes on her back in a gentle way and she shook her head “let me know whenever you’re ready, yeah?”

She just nodded, nuzzling closer to him and without even noticing, she fell asleep.

                                                      -*-

She woke up what felt only moments later feeling her body moving and when she opened her eyes, she noticed that Raul was placing her on the bed for the night.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” Raul whispered, pulling the covers up her body.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to fall asleep”

“It was a long day, sweetheart, it’s only natural” he said going to grab them each a bottle of water and flopping down beside her and she giggled.

“Thank you”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me and being the sweetest person”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, you deserve it”

“But I do” Y/N said knuckling at her eye and reaching out for his hand, slotting their fingers together and squeeze it gently “thank you”

Raul smiled and leaned in to place a kiss at her forehead “you’re so beautiful, you know that, right?”

“Stop being silly” she laughed as he feigned an insulted expression.

“I’m not, you’re just the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and I’ve always thought this”

“Oh really? Aren’t you just trying to butter me up?”

“Me? I would never do that!” Raul scoffed and she just chuckled giving him a knowing look “okay, okay, you caught me, I’m just trying to steal your heart”

Y/N gasped “why would you do that to me?”

“Because I want it”

“For what? I’m not an athlete anymore, it’s a poor heart, and I love junk food, you won’t be able to sell it”

“You’re ridiculous, you know?”

“Look, you have to decide if I’m pretty, smelly or ridiculous, can’t be all of them” she said and he laughed.

“You’re impossible”

“Oh great, thanks, can you elaborate?”

“Don’t feel like doing it, no” he said and she rolled her eyes, turning away from him on the bed.

“Fine, then goodnight” Y/N turned off the lamp from her side of the bed and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back flush against his chest “Hey! I-“

“Do you really want to know?” he said taking a deep sigh and burying his face on her neck.

“Well, if there’s an explanation to it, then yeah, but I was just being dramatic and-“

Raul cut her off trying to gather all the courage possible “There is and I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, I was just trying to find the best timing and not ruin our friendship”

“You won’t end our friendship, yeah? You can just tell me” she said trying to turn in his arms but he had a vice grip on her, so she just gave up, interlacing their fingers together.

“We’ve known each other for years now, and even though you are closer to Peter most of the time, I couldn’t help it but want you closer. You’re always the cutest and sweetest little thing, always caring about the people around you and taking care of others, and being this funny smart person that always make the environment better around you, so I felt drawn to you. And for years I pushed it aside cause you’re always shy around me and I thought you just weren’t interested so I never made a move or something, but recently that was proven to be impossible, since that night you spent over and we slept on the couch I’ve been wanting to ask you about it or just do something about it“ Raul slowly loosened the grip on her and she decided to turn around to face him “You’re not impossible, maybe sometimes when you really want something, but what was really impossible was not falling for you, and you don’t have to say anything, I just thought you should know”

And Y/N couldn’t even speak and she wanted to. She was just speechless. The guy she had a crush on for years just told her he liked her, what the hell was she supposed to say?! She truly wanted to shout that she liked him too, that she wanted him too and that she felt like this for years, but the only thing she could do instead of gaping him like a fish was lean forward and press their lips together, and that’s what she did.

Raul was completely shocked at first and didn’t react at all, which made Y/N instantly regret her decision starting to pull back, but before she could completely pull away, Raul cradled her face in his hand and smeared their lips together in a sweet yet passionate kiss, pulling her closer as she wrapped her fingers in his hair, tangling on his curls. Y/N couldn’t believe this was actually real, the only thing that made her understand this wasn’t a dream, was the warmth and butterflies spreading through her body as he swept his tongue on her bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth genlty. Her head was spinning when they finally parted for air without actually leaning away. Raul rested his forehead on hers as they both panted softly, a bright smile spreading on his lips and Y/N just chuckled, making him do the same.

“I’ve had a crush on you for years now, you idiot” she said and he laughed.

“So sweet” he retorted and she laughed.

“But it’s true! I thought I was so obvious!”

“If I knew I wanted me too I would’ve done it sooner” he said before leaning in and pressing another kiss to her lips.

“Well maybe I should’ve said it sooner”

“Well, we can change that now, but I can take you on a date as soon as we get back and your feet is a bit better”

“Or we can just ignore my feet and go!”

“Not a chance, we can hang out at my place or yours and then go out”

“Sounds pretty nice”

“Then it’s settled”

“Oh, we have to deal with Peter”

“Hm, we can deal with him tomorrow, yeah? Really don’t want to think about my brother right now” he said pulling her to his chest and she giggled.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t completely fucked as she thought a month ago.

                                                     -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[jamilelucato]

Seventeen [D. M.]

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Based on the song Seventeen, from the musical Heathers; y/N and Draco have a conversation at the Malfoy Manor during the war that can change everything. But will it?

Hogwarts Masterlist || Musical Hogwarts Masterlist

A/N: So this is one of the fics from my personal project of making hp fanfics from musicals songs and this is the first one! It’s a bit angst, but I love the song and I think it fits perfectly with Draco and y/N. Hope you guys enjoy it and stay tuned for more fics like this!

Words: 1.743

“Fine!” you shouted, locking the door behind you, keeping both you and Draco inside. He wasn’t angry at you, but the amount of strength you used to close the door scared him a bit. You were the last person he expected to throw a fit.

It was the third week in a roll that you got locked up in the Malfoy Manor, and, although huge, the place was getting on your nerves. Draco was actually saving your life, but you were getting uptight.

Since you were a Slytherin and Draco’s girlfriend, he found it’d be easier to hide you at plain sight. At first, you were sceptical, but there was no other option. You came to the Manor and started pretending to be from a forgotten line of Purebloods.

The fact was you were a half-blood, daughter of a wizard and a muggle woman. There was a big chance Voldemort and the others wanted your head, but maybe they could spare you. There are, after all, a lot of mudbloods, completely mudbloods, yet to be hunted. Somehow, though, the idea didn’t make it easier.

“We’re damaged, really damaged,” you sighed, staring at Draco’s eyes. He was sitting on the bed that had been his and yours since the begging of your stay. He didn’t want you sleeping in a room where he would have no idea of what happened — you could receive “unwanted” visitors and get killed. “But that does not make us wise!”

For you to have a room for yourselves, two things had to happen, and they were both requested by Voldermort.

First: get engaged. That was more demanded from Lucius and Narcissa then Voldemort, but he agreed, so. That was also not trouble: that same night Draco gave you a ring. Apparently, he was going to do it — he just didn’t think he’d have to do it in the presence of almost fifty death-eaters.

Second: get the dark mark. That terrified your guts, so you hadn’t get it yet. Draco was stalling the death-eaters, especially Bellatrix, who at every opportunity asked if you were ready. He’d invented something about you being allergic to brands, but it wouldn’t do much more.

“We’re not special — we’re not ‘different’” Draco was surprisingly quiet. He was deep down just like you; he didn’t want to be doing those things as well. “We don’t choose who lives or dies!”

You sighed again. Your fight wasn’t against Draco.

“Let’s be normal; see bad movies, sneak a beer. Bake brownies or go bowling,” you avoided his pity eyes. “Don’t you want a life with me?”

You sat down next to him. “Can’t we be seventeen?” ha, that was rather funny. Be seventeen! You two should be at school, you two should be laughing around the corridors of Hogwarts, he should be playing Quidditch, and you should be having girls night at your dorm room. But now that was all gone, like a distant memory.

Draco was never your best friend, but he was someone nice to have around. He would never admit it, but he was a good student with perfect grades; because of that, more times than often, you requested his help to study. So, when on the sixth year he stopped helping you out, you noticed he was different. Darker.

It was on that year that you realize you had feelings for him. You two came to some sort of agreement around that: both were in love with each other.

It’d be beautiful if it wasn’t so tragic: Draco was already depressed because of his mark and his duty to Voldemort. You couldn’t fight against him, and you couldn’t betray him — the only choice was to stay hidden until you couldn’t anymore, and he had welcomed you into the Manor.

How nice was that? Teenage love and, now, an engagement where the involved haven’t kissed each other yet?

“If you could let me in, I could be good with you,” your voice was barely a whisper, but somehow he heard.

His hand reached for yours, and you looked down at the simple touch. “People hurt us,” you pointed out, taking a great look at his mark, forever on his arm.

“Or they vanish,” he added, reminding you of your mom and dad who had disappeared. It wasn’t their fault — you asked them to vanish — but you still missed them every day.

“And you’re right, that really blows. But we let go—”

“Take a deep breath,” his words seemed to reach every part of your brain and tranquillize you along the way. You hoped your voice had the same effect for him.

“We’ll go camping,” you suggested with a faded smile, trying to make the situation more fun. It didn’t need to happen right now, but maybe one day, yes.

“Play some Gobstones,” he sighed, starting to play your game.

“And we’ll eat some flavour beans,” you looked up in an attempt to meet his gaze. “Maybe prom night.”

“Maybe dancing,” he finally stared back at you.

“Don’t stop looking in my eyes,” you smiled, taking your hands out of his and holding his face, making him keep his gaze on you.

“Your eyes...” he repeated your words, a sign that he was lost in thoughts you could only imagine. Lucius didn’t trust you completely so many times he needed to ask things from Draco, he asked him alone. You had no idea what he and Voldemort were planning from Draco, but something was coming, especially after he failed at killing Dumbledore.

“Can’t we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do?” he tilted his head like he was melting at your touch. “If you could let me in, I could be good with you.”

“Let us be seventeen if we still got the right,” Draco said. His hand that was before laying on your lap lost without your hand traced a path around your body so it could meet your face just like you were doing.

“I wanna be with you,” you said, informing him as if for the first time. Those words expressed more than staying at the Malfoy Manor — they meant you wanted him, you wanted to be his for real.

“I wanna be with you,” he replied. Before the first tear fell from your eyes, his lips touched you for the very first time.

He had kissed your hand before and even your forehead on a cold night. Your heart had stopped both of those times, but nothing like now. It was a new experience; kissing Draco couldn’t be compared to anything you two had done before.

Your hands, once holding his chin, were now wandering his silver locks and finding pleasure with the texture. His hand that was on your face pulled you even closer and the other one once free was now wandering your body with the same eager as you.

“Yeah, we’re damaged,” you muttered when his lips reached for your neck — experience in a whole other level.

“Badly damaged,” he whispered back.

“But...” you tried to continue, but his lips met yours once again, shutting you up.

“Your love’s too good to lose,” he added, pushing you back a little just so you could see his eyes and know that he meant it.

Draco wanted you. He wanted all of you. Not just for the night, but for the next, and the other, and the next after that. He knew he loved you for a while, but with the war happening, things got a little foggy. His priorities were mixed.

His father had just some minutes ago told him that he knew you were a half-blood. Lucius told Draco that you wouldn’t be killed for that, but since it meant your father was married to a witch, they’d hunt down at least the two.

“They will be killed, son, don’t get me wrong,”  said Lucius in a warning tone. “The problem is they’ll probably want her to do it.”

So, yeah, Draco was mad when he got in the room he was sharing with you. He was enraged to the maximum. It was something having Voldemort forcing him to do things — it was a complete and unacceptable other thing him wanting you to do things.

You are perfect; you are his light. He wouldn’t bare seeing you going dark.

So, while he was snogging you — and don’t get me wrong, he was loving it, he was over the moon about that part —, he was planning a way to escape the Manor. It wouldn’t be easy, but it wasn’t impossible. He would need his mom, but he was sure she’d help.

You and Draco ended up in the bed, naked. You guessed all that angst and the war could not stop the teen hormones. Not that you were complaining — Draco was great at it. He was gentle but firm, a combination that surprised you.

You were not very sure of what to do, but Draco was patient.

“Tonight is not about me.”

“That will be a first,” you said, trying to defuse the tension.

He smirked at you in that way that only he knew how. It made you jealous, you really wished you could smile like that.

“I’ve got a plan,” he said when you were laying on his chest. His voice was barely a whisper. “Tonight, we’ll run away. I’ll ask mom, she’ll know how to help, and some house-elves can stock food in a bag...”

“Draco?”

“Yeah?” you looked up at him.

“You’re really going to run away with me? You know you don’t have to, right?” you didn’t know how to proceed. “I mean, you are safe here. ”

“If I am what you choose,” he said with a soft voice, “then I’ll do what’s needed to see you protected.”

You kissed him again, and again, unable to stop. It could have been a happy memory if it wasn’t for the background.

A knock on the door froze you two. Draco was faster, he got up and inside his pants. He was at the door when he turned back to face you, and you nodded for him to open.

Narcissa head popped in, but she was so anxious she didn’t even take a good look around.

“Draco, we need you downstairs. I think we’ve got him!”

“Who?”

You crawled the bed, leaning towards the door.

“I think we’ve got Potter.”

[gravelyhumerus]

Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter 6

Title: “I may just take your breath away”

Relationship: Jemily

Summary:

The team takes on trivia. Emily strips in front of JJ. It's quite an evening for all.

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

“Come on, Jayje,” Penelope whined. “It’ll be good for you to go out.” 

“I’m sick,” JJ said, fake coughing. “And I need to get a head start on my project for my new media course. It’s worth forty percent.”

“Bullshit.” Penelope said, “I know for a fact that that isn’t due for two weeks. Tonight is NOT the make or break point in that assignment for you.” 

JJ sighed. 

“You need to get out. See the world. Do more than just play soccer, work out and do homework. You’ve been hiding since your break up. It’s not healthy.”

She had told herself she would stop avoiding Emily after she had figured out what her feelings were. Despite JJ’s realization that it was a genuine crush, that JJ truly liked Emily, JJ needed to also be sure that she wasn’t simply rebounding onto someone nearby. 

Someone pretty and smart and kind and who lived right across the hall.

“It’s trivia night JJ,” Penelope said, “and we have Spencer on our team it’ll be fun.” 

JJ sighed, looked up from where she lay on her bed. 

“Fine.”

“Make yourself pretty, you know who will be there,” Penelope replied, turning back to her make-up mirror to finish applying her purple lipstick. 

“Yeah thanks for that,” JJ said sarcastically, “I saw what you did there.”

“Who, me?” she feigned innocence. 

JJ changed from a plain t-shirt to a tighter, low cut long sleeved blue shirt. She then took her hair out of a ponytail, brushing it out before tucking it carefully behind her ears. On principle, she huffed the entire time, so that Penelope would know that she wasn’t happy about the situation, despite the butterflies in her stomach at the idea of seeing Emily again. 

She took care to apply some eyeshadow, some blush and a pink lip gloss that tastes like strawberries. There was something intimidating about Emily. She looked so… put together. With Will, he never really noticed, or cared, if she wore makeup, but Emily definitely would. 

God. This was stressful. Is this what liking girls was like? If it was, JJ was not sure she was cut out for it. 

At least she was going to be on home territory, as trivia was their thing, something that Penelope and JJ had been doing since their floor was forced into going back in first year.  

JJ was working hard at learning to relax a bit. Between maintaining her grades, soccer, and her new job editing press releases for the student government, she was already being pulled in multiple directions. A night out would be fun, she reminded herself. 

She tried to quell her nerves at going out with Emily. It wasn’t a date or anything. Just friends hanging out. JJ’s friends and Emily’s friends. Penelope’s meddling was further tying her to the girl across the hall by blending their friend groups. 

While half of her mind wanted this to happen, wanted to see Emily all the time and have an excuse to see her, smell her, hear her laugh…. JJ frowned as she realized that her crush complicated everything. Emily was already across the hall, and if she admitted her feelings, and they weren’t reciprocated, she would run into her all the time. Now, with Derek Morgan befriending Penelope and Spencer, and all of them going out together, JJ’s silly crush could send ripples across more than just her own life. 

JJ ran her hands through her hair, worrying about the possible ways she could fuck this up. She did not entertain the possibility that Emily could possibly like her back. First of all, she had no idea if she was straight or not. JJ didn’t even know how to tell. 

JJ glanced over to Penelope, who was finishing up her makeup sitting at her desk, looking into a small mirror on the desk. JJ knew Penelope was queer, as her roommate was not shy about it whatsoever. In her mug full of pens was a pride flag from last year’s pride parade. It was in June, so JJ had been back in Pennsylvania then, but she remembered seeing the joy on Penelope’s face in the photos she posted on Instagram. Penelope wasn’t the person she knew that identified as queer. In fact, Spence had recently told them that he was bi. It wasn’t like JJ was not aware of the community, she thought she was just supporting LGBT+ issues on principal, and for her friends. 

She hadn’t considered that when, in her politics class in high school, she was viciously debating on gay marriage for someone like herself. The topics always felt distant. Like something that affected someone else. She was so certain in her heterosexuality that she had joked about it to Penelope earlier in their friendship. 

The token straight friend, she had said. So much for that. 

“Pen,” JJ said, trying to force a neutral tone to her voice, and failing. “How did you know you weren’t straight?”

Penelope turned and simply stared at her for a long moment before giggling and saying: “Are you finally realizing you have a crush on Emily Prentiss?” 

JJ sat up in her chair. 

“What?” 

“Aw darlin’,” Penelope said to her, tilting her head, ”You barely talked about your break up. You were too busy literally running from your feelings for her ever since you ran into her at the library. I had to finally ask her out for you.”

“I–” JJ stuttered. “I talked about my break up.”

“So to answer your question,” Penelope said, matter-of-factly, “I realized when I had my first crush on a girl, just like you’re doing now. Don’t worry about it too much, you’ll drive yourself crazy.”

JJ’s jaw had dropped. 

“Babe, you came home one night babbling about how she taught you French,” Penelope giggled, “You might as well have held up a sign.”

JJ buried her face in her hands. 

“Oh god,” JJ said. “Am I gay? What am I?”

Penelope walked over and tossed her arm around JJ’s shoulders, pulling her into a hug. 

“Aww baby’s first girl crush,” she cooed, “So happy to witness it first hand. You might be gay! Or bi, or something else. Don’t worry too much about the terminology right now.”

Unfortunately, JJ was worrying too much. About not just the terminology. 

Even if Emily was gay, or bi or whatever, she wouldn’t like someone like JJ. She was always a bit of a tomboy, barely knowing how to do make up and dressing like she was going to practise most days. JJ always felt a bit awkward when she dressed up, feeling most at home in joggers and a hoodie. 

Emily, on the other hand, was all elegant with her pretty black hair, her perfect eyeliner and the way she always looked out together when she went out. Moreover, Emily was cool. She listened to music on vinyl and her bookshelf was filled with classic novels and smoked cigarettes. She lived in multiple countries, spoke more languages than JJ hoped to ever learn.

Emily’s mom was an ambassador. She had a nanny growing up. She had a single room and was paying out-of-state tuition. Well, her mom was probably paying her tuition. 

JJ could only afford to be here because she was on a soccer scholarship, and barely had enough money to cover her caffeine addiction. The surprise small stipend from her new student government job was probably the thing keeping JJ from applying for a job off campus. 

Emily would never like someone like JJ, she thought. 

After checking herself in the mirror one final time, she looked at the time. 6:54. Emily and her friends would be there soon, and if JJ knew Spencer well, he would be showing up in just under a minute. 

There was a knock at the door. She was right. 

“Hi guys!” He said, entering their dorm room and taking his customary seat on the very edge of JJ’s bed. “Am I dressed properly? I wasn’t sure what to wear to a bar.”

He was wearing a button up, with a beige sweater vest over top, with slacks and converse to complete the outfit. 

“Aw Spence,” JJ said. “You look great, I promise.”

“Remind me to take you to the mall to get some party clothes,” Penelope quipped. 

“Those were two contradicting statements,” he complained. 

Once Penelope had finished adding rhinestones to her makeup look, they opened the door to find Emily flanked by two boys, waiting in the hall. 

Derek Morgan, JJ recognized, but the other one JJ hadn’t met before. 

“Hello all!” Penelope called out from inside their room. 

“Hi Derek, Emily,” JJ said politely, “I’m not sure we’ve met–“

She reached her hand out to shake the new boy’s hand. He was tall, with a shock of black hair and a serious expression on his face. 

“I’m Jennifer, but my friends call me JJ.”

“Nice to meet you,” the boy said with a small—almost non-existent—smile, shaking her hand with a firm, confident grip. “I’m Aaron Hotchner.”

“His friends call him Hotch,” Derek piped up punching his shoulder in a friendly way. 

“He’s pre-law,” Emily informed her, “we have a bunch of classes together.”

“I do not have that much experience with trivia,” Aaron admits, rubbing his shoulder and feigning injury. 

“No need!” Penelope says, rounding up on the group, “Spencer here is basically a genius. You’re just a warm body.”

“I just have an eidetic memory!” He said, piping up from in the room. 

With introductions complete, they headed to the small pub just off campus. It was a squat brick building tucked between a restaurant and an old book store. It had a nice back patio in the warmer months, and each Monday was trivia night. 

Just inside, the bouncer drew big xs on their hands to indicate that they were underage, which were all promptly wiped off once they were inside and found a table. The atmosphere inside was relaxed, the staff not really caring if people were drinking underage on a Monday night if they didn’t cause trouble.

JJ loved this bar. It was old, with exposed brick walls and large wooden rafters over their heads. The ceilings were low and the bar was packed and loud, making the place feel cozy, yet not quite claustrophobic. On weekdays, it was mostly locals or upper year students, as their peers were more likely to try to drink underage on the weekends. The crowd was quite a few younger adults, with the occasional older couple or group of middle aged women having a girls night. 

They found a table big enough for their group by just to the right of the bar, tucked out of sight, far from the bouncers. The six of them squeezing tight onto the rustic booth and shrugging off their coats.  

Trivia started at 7:30 pm, so they still had time to get settled and acquire some drinks. JJ was squished between Penelope and Emily’s friend Aaron, who was explaining that he played forward on the men’s hockey team. JJ knew he seemed familiar, realizing that she and he had probably crossed paths at athletics functions. 

“Did you guys rub the marker off your hand?” Spencer asked, too loudly, receiving a chorus of shushing in response.

“Dude,” Derek laughed, “Not so loud you’re gonna get us kicked out!”

“What do you mean?” He asked, the classic Reid obliviousness shining through. 

Emily tossed a casual arm around his shoulders. 

“You see,” she said, “we would like to drink this thing called alcohol tonight. If we have an x on our hands, we don’t get served.”

She pointed to the x on his hand. 

“Speaking of which,” Aaron said, standing up, “I’m grabbing a beer, who’s with me?” 

“Me!” Emily jumped up, with Derek on her heels, “What are you guys drinking? This rounds on me!”

JJ balked, drinks here were expensive. Did Emily actually want to buy them drinks? Or was she simply being nice. JJ should say no. 

“Vodka cran, por favour!” Penelope responded before JJ could politely decline. “JJ drinks beer, and Reid will take a soda.”

“What kind of beer?”

“Whatever’s on tap,” JJ said sheepishly, feeling guilty about someone spending money on her. At the same time, with JJ’s baby face, there was little chance the bartender would buy that she was already 21.

“Root beer please!” Spencer called out after her, though Emily had already turned around, following the boys over to lean against the bar. 

The bartender, a gorgeous young woman with shoulder length brown hair was serving Emily, leaning over the bar. Her eyes were rapt with attention as Emily ordered, even giving her a once over before she left to make their drinks. 

Emily seemed to flirt back, but JJ could not hear what she said, the two women going back and forth for a few moments, their attention hardly broken by the other patrons. 

JJ felt jealousy flare in her stomach. 

As Emily’s fingers grasped the glass, the other girl’s hands lingered, and JJ watched the bartender wink at Emily before turning towards the other patrons. Emily had a cropped tank top, with a plaid shirt on top. Her tight jeans gripped her long legs, and her heeled boots gave an extra inch or so to her already impressive height. She looked hot. The bartender clearly saw it too.

She tried to push back that jealousy. She had no right to be possessive, Emily and she weren’t dating, or anything, they were friends. New friends.   

“Your girlfriend is so good to us!” Penelope cooed, breaking JJ out of her thoughts. 

JJ felt a blush spread across her face. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” she sputtered. 

“Have you told her you like her yet?” Spencer asked. 

“Guys,” JJ exclaimed, “this is not the time. She’s right there.”

“She has not,” Penelope replied. “Even though it’s so obvious that Emily likes her back.”

“Pen!” JJ said as she buried her face in her hands. 

“Spencer you wouldn’t believe it!” she continued, unheeded, “Emily brought her cookies to the game!”

“She was just being nice!” JJ said, peeking out from between her fingers. 

“She didn’t give me any cookies,” Spencer pointed out. “And we spent almost three hours in class together.”

As he said that, Derek, Aaron and Emily returned with not only alcohol, but also nachos and fries for the table. JJ, too polite to protest when being offered food, and who had the appetite of an athlete, dug in. She took a guilty sip of her beer, and felt Emily’s eyes on her. 

Did Emily like her back? That couldn’t be true. JJ was just… Jennifer. JJ. No one special. Not like Emily. JJ decided not to linger on that thought, it wasn’t like JJ would risk their friendship by admitting she had feelings anyways. 

“You know,” Spencer said between mouthfuls, “I’ve never done trivia before, but I’ve been told I’d be good at it.

“No shit, kid,” Derek replied, talking through a mouthful of nachos, “You talk like a textbook.”

Spencer looked like he was unsure whether or not to take that as a compliment. 

“What are the topics?” Emily asked. 

“They don’t tell you until you get here,” Penelope replied, “Someone should be by with papers and pencils. 

As if summoned, a tall girl with short black hair came by, dropping off a pencil and a paper, split into four quadrants with ten blanks on each page. 

“Who wants to write?” JJ asked, looking around the table. 

Hotch was busy scanning the page for the topics: science, television, sports and music, and he didn’t realize the activity going on around him. Everyone, including Reid somehow, (Derek helped him) had stuck their finger to the tip of their nose, the official sign for ‘not it.’

He looked up, seeing the fingers and without comment he grabed the pencil.

“It’s for the best,” Emily said, “My handwriting is illegible.”

“Can vouch for that,” Derek laughed, “It’s like half cursive half something inhuman.”

Emily punched his shoulder and took another drink. 

“So how does this normally work?” Hotch asked, gesturing towards her paper with the pencil.

“Question, two minutes to write down your answer, no phones,” Penelope replied, “Then we swap with a nearby team to mark it! And so on for four rounds.”

“There’s prizes,” JJ added. “Whoever gets the most right in the end wins, we hand in the sheets to the MC to enter.”

“Sweet,” Derek said. 

“We need a name,” JJ said, looking up. 

“The twinkies,” Emily blurted. 

“The… twinkies?” Hotch repeated, incredulously. 

“I don’t know,” Emily muttered, “I panicked.”

The group burst into laughter, which Emily laughed along with. She was a good sport. 

“Let’s get Quizzical,” Penelope offered. 

“I don’t get it,” Spencer said. 

“Quiz me, daddy,” Penelope tried again, winking at Derek. 

“Settle down now, little lady,” Derek said, laughing. 

“We’re not doing that,” JJ laughed. 

She wasn’t sure who looked more horrified at the idea, Spencer or Hotch. 

“Counter intelligence,” Derek proposed instead, it has a nice ring to it and works with the trivia premise. 

“That’s funny,” Penelope said. “And seems ok for the prudish ones amongst us.”

Hotch wrote that down on their page. 

“Hello everyone,” the MC said through a microphone as the music quieted, a hush fell over the bar, with everyone listening to the women speak. “My name is Tara and I’ll be your MC tonight.”

Tara was beautiful, with curled hair tucked behind her ears and a friendly smile, she was tall, wearing high heels making her stand tall over the seated audience. JJ thought she might be a student, as she looked a bit familiar. 

“Hi Tara!” Someone yelled out from the other side of the bar. 

Tara chucked, “Hello Dave. Welcome all to Trivia Night at O’Keefe’s, we have brand-new questions and prizes for you. Are you excited?”

The audience whooped, Hotch pulled the paper close to him and readied his writing hand, taking a quick swig of his beer to prepare himself. 

“We’re going to start off with some science questions,” the MC said.

The group looked expectantly at Spencer, who looked slightly nervous. 

“First question,” Tara announced, “We’ll start by looking outside of our planet, at the others in our solar system. Scientists have long been able to calculate the masses of most planets, including Earth. It has taken longer to measure the masses of Venus and Mercury, primarily because these two planets lack what?”

“Moons, obviously,” Spencer said, too loudly. Other groups clearly overheard, writing the answer down on their cards.

“Reid,” Penelope scolded, “You’re on our team. Whisper please.”

“Sorry,” he murmured, taking a sip of his soda through a small straw. 

“Question two: of what material is a rhinoceros horn made?”

“Bone?” Derek whispered to them, “They look boney.”

“That’s actually a common misconception,” Reid replied, “They’re actually composed of keratin, which is essentially hair.”

“Huh,” Derek tilted his beer in acknowledgement. Hotch wrote that down. 

“How many hearts do octopuses have?”

“Three!” Emily hisses, before Spencer has the chance.

“Nice one,” Hotch murmured back to her.

“I like cephalopods,” Emily said, as explanation. 

JJ desperately wanted to comment on that, but the game moved too quickly. 

The next few questions were rapid fire, covering everything from the speed of a sneeze, to the surface area of the lungs, to the oxygen in the atmosphere, to which letters from the alphabet were missing from the periodic table (the answer was J and Q.)

JJ perked up when she heard the last question: “What are people who study or collect butterflies called?”

“Lepidopterists!” She said, triumphantly before the MC even listed the options.

Everyone looked at her, surprised about her beating even Reid to the punch.

“I- uh,” JJ stammered, “I collected butterflies as a kid.”

JJ caught Emily smiling at that. She looked away, embarrassed. 

Next was music, which, between Hotch and his impressive understanding of dad rock and Penelope’s encyclopedic knowledge of current pop music, and Derek’s well-rounded passion for all genres, they did fine. Reid pouted, as his eidetic memory doesn’t quite work for things he hasn’t read. 

JJ, unfortunately, was not any help. JJ liked music, but she did not bother memorizing facts about writers or sampling or anything like that. She just liked listening to it. 

After that was sports, and that topic went by quickly with JJ, Derek and Hotch answering the questions with a high degree of confidence. 

Hotch, who was already writing aggressively and getting into it, wrote more and more excitedly, and on the second to last sports question—about the composition of a baseball—he snapped the lead off the pencil right off. 

This caused sheer chaos. 

With no writing utensil, one more answer to write down, they scrambled. JJ shrugged helplessly, typically known as the mom friend in her group, she felt bad that she had nothing to offer. After a moment, Penelope discovered a fluffy pink gel pen she found at the bottom of her purse. 

“Is the ink pink, too?” Hotch asked, raising an eyebrow. 

He tried writing. The ink was pink and sparkly. 

“Yes, sir,” Penelope replied. 

“Did you just call me ‘sir’?”

“I don’t know what came over me.”

During the brief intermission between Sports and Television, somehow the Salem witch trials came up in conversation. (It was actually because Penelope had mentioned the Blair Witch Project and Spencer misheard, but that’s neither here nor there). 

“She was four?” JJ demanded, “That doesn’t seem right.”

“Oh I read about this,” Penelope said, “Dorothy something, she was accused of witchcraft alongside her mother.”

“Dorothy Good, also referred to as Dorcas Good, was only four years old when she was arrested in 1692. According to her accusers, she had allegedly bitten them on their arms. She was actually placed in jail and interrogated by Salem officials where they took the fact that she had a pet snake as proof that she was a witch, as the snake would serve the role of her animal familiar.”

“She was a child,” JJ said, horrified.

“Yup,” Spencer replied, unfazed. JJ frowned but continued writing. 

The last one was television, which was very clearly Penelope’s favourite. 

“Friends ended in May 2004 after how many seasons?”

“Oh I know that one,” Hotch said, “Seven.”

Hotch wrote that down in pink ink, the fuzzy pom-pom danced as he wrote.  

“Amy Poehler, Rob Lowe and Chris Pratt worked together on which US comedy series?”

“Parks and Rec,” Penelope said, “Parks and Recreation, God, I should rewatch that. Such amazing girl-power vibes in that one.”

“What were the names of the two government agents played by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in the 1993-2002 series X-Files?”

“Special Agent Fox Mulder and Dr. Dana Scully,” Emily said with a smile. 

“Wait, you too Prentiss?” Derek said. “Nerding out with Reid tonight.”

“Guilty as charged,” Emily said, “What can I say, I’m a sucker for Gillian Anderson.”

JJ’s mind stuck on that comment. Was she simply a fan of the acting? Or was she implying some sort of attraction to the actress. JJ did not ask. Her mind was wandering for too long, all while looking at Emily, that she missed the next question. 

Whatever it was, Hotch was informing her that the answer was ‘72 survivors’. 

Questions about Saturday Night Live, The Office, Scooby-Doo and a few old-timey shows that they didn’t recognize followed. 

“The last question for the night!” Tara announced, “It’s been lovely being your MC for tonight. I hope you all had as much fun as I did. You ready?”

The crowd cheered.

“Ok this one’s for all the nerds out there: what sci-fi series premiered in 1966?”

“Star Trek: The Original Series,” Reid hissed, struggling to keep his voice down. “Which was the beginning of a franchise that has now lasted over fifty years, spanning nine television series, thirteen films and assorted shorts, video games and novels.”

“Ok Mr. Spock,” Emily laughed, “Thank you for your brain.”

“Spock’s Brain is actually one of the best episodes in the Original Series,” he replied, JJ couldn’t tell if he had made a joke or was simply spouting another fact. 

As trivia wrapped up, and the scores were being tallied, the bar roared back to life, with music booming and the attendees milling about near the bar, back at the darts and grouping around the tables.

She found herself chatting with Hotch and Penelope, about some question they were unsure about, but her eyes were fixed on Emily and Derek. Derek had a hand in the small of Emily’s back, guiding her past the crowd near the bar. 

JJ wondered if there was really something more there, despite Penelope’s encouragement of her crush on Emily. Maybe she was already into Derek? He was very affectionate with all of his friends, especially Penelope, so maybe it was nothing. But still, Emily seemed to be reciprocating. 

But the hand didn’t leave, it held her close, almost protectively, something a boyfriend would do. 

JJ turned away, pushing the thoughts away and slamming the last of her third beer, scanning for where Spencer had run off to after the game wrapped up. He was seated with two other people at a table near the back, talking excitedly at them while they looked at him with rapt attention. Out of curiosity, she wandered over.

Maybe she can hang out with Spence as she banished the strange feelings of jealousy burning in her chest.  

“Return to tomorrow?” the girl asked Spencer, leaning over the table in excitement.  

“Return to tomorrow, season two, production number fifty-one,” Reid replied, “An alien named Sargon takes over Kirk’s body while two others take over Spock and Dr. Mulhall.”

JJ frowned, she had no idea what he was talking about, but recognized that it seemed like the plot of an episode of Star Trek.

“Alien races appearing?”

“Trick question, a race is never identified. Sargon is a disembodied mind?”

“Dr. McCoy quote?”

He looked stumped for a moment. 

“Five, four, three, two-”

“I will not peddle flesh, I’m a physician!” He concludes enthusiastically. 

This all appeared to be an extension of his trivia game. JJ was happy that he was making friends, despite him worrying that he wouldn’t fit in at a bar, he seemed to have found his people. 

JJ gave him an affectionate pat on his shoulder before passing, on her way to the dart board. With Reid occupied, Derek and Emily flirting at the bar and Hotch and Penelope hitting it off, JJ decided to show some random boys up.

It would make her feel better.

There was a pair already at the board, tossing the darts fairly inaccurately. JJ asked if she could join, batting her eyelashes in a way she knew would grab their attention quickly. 

They immediately welcomed her in, handing her some darts. She hit the nineteen, twenty and dead centre in quick succession. The rush of the game kept away her earlier feelings of jealousy, centering her in the moment and her goal.

The boys were floored. JJ was good at darts. 

She played three rounds, slamming them each time easily. Amateurs. They were drunk, aggressive with their throwing, all force no finesse. Typical men.

After the third round, they left for the bar, offering to grab her a drink to celebrate her win, she followed close by, knowing better than to leave a drink unattended, but also not passing up the opportunity to drink for free when it was a silly boy paying. 

Maybe she should rebound after her break up and sleep with a random man. She looked at the man in front of her, he was tall, with dark hair and hazel eyes, wearing a tight fitting white shirt. His companion had sandy brown hair and dark eyes, but neither of them were stirring anything in JJ’s heart. Both were objectively attractive, but neither were the beautiful brunette that lived across the hall. 

JJ accepted her drink graciously, knowing she had to fill another few minutes of small talk before it was appropriate for her to rejoin her friends. 

The one boy was telling her about darts, in detail, despite the fact that she had informed him that she did know how to play, and had just beat him at the game. 

“Can I steal JJ from you guys for a sec?” She felt a hand on her bicep and Emily’s sweet voice in her ear.

JJ turned and the taller girl was next to her, her hand resting lightly on her bare arm, feeling electricity where their skin touched. 

“Uh, yeah,” the brown haired boy said, JJ didn’t remember his name, “Of course.”

JJ smiled apologetically before allowing herself to be led away.

“Thought you could use an out,” Emily whispered in her ear, “You looked bored.”

“Thank you,” JJ replied. “I was.”

They stopped further down the bar, standing close, with Emily looking down at her, their hips brushing each other. JJ could smell her perfume over the ambient smell of alcohol, bar food and the old building. 

“Men,” Emily laughed, “Am I right?”

They laughed. JJ wasn’t sure exactly what she meant but she thought she got the gist. JJ gulped down a sip of her drink, a vodka soda that the boy had chosen for her. 

“Speaking of, are you and Derek, uh,” JJ asked, nervously, “A thing?”

Emily’s eyes widened, and her lips tugged into a smile, she began to laugh. 

“Derek Morgan?” She guffawed, “Absolutely not, that boy is like my brother. Oh my god, JJ you thought we were together?”

JJ felt herself sigh a breath of relief, hoping that it was not visible on her face.

“I just saw how he was at the bar,” JJ explained, “I just assumed.”

“Oh that,” Emily smiled, “I asked him to basically pretend to be my boyfriend, a beard if you will. Keeps guys hands from wandering.”

JJ frowned, that she could empathize with. 

“But no, we’re very much just friends.”

JJ looked over to their table: Derek, Hotch and Penelope were currently playing a game that seemed to consist of tossing coins into Reid’s empty soda can. 

There was a comfortable silence for a moment, both girls listened to the music, standing closely, closer than they needed to. 

Emily ordered them another round, and by that point JJ had given up protesting, realizing that this is just what Emily did. 

Grabbing their drinks, Emily handed JJ’s to her. They smiled and raised their glasses in cheers. 

“To new and old friends,” Emily said, “and to us winning at trivia!”

“I can drink to that!” 

Both accidentally raised their arms too enthusiastically, their glasses crashed together. Emily’s grip slipped and the glass went tumbling out of her hand, right onto JJ. She was suddenly damp and sticky, the liquid soaking through JJ’s thin shirt. 

“Oh my god,” Emily gasped, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Shit,” JJ gasped, putting her own drink down onto the bar and stepping back. “It’s ok, it was both of our faults.” 

“Let’s get you to the bathroom,” Emily said, with a hand pressed to the small of her back, leading her away from the bar. As an afterthought, Emily grabbed JJ’s drink and carried it with them.

A few people gave her concerned glances, one patron offering her a small napkin that did basically nothing. JJ wasn’t mad, it was fully an accident, but now she was just desperate to dry off. 

Now, JJ was acutely aware of Emily’s hand on her lower back. Warm and firm, it guided her into the bathroom. 

As soon as the door shut, the silence made JJ’s ears ring. Emily had turned to the paper towel dispenser, yanking probably four feet of it off and bunching it up before handing it to JJ.

It was a small bathroom basically just the room, one sink and no hand dryer, much to JJ’s sadness.

JJ hoisted herself up onto the counter, taking the paper towel from Emily, patting her shirt hopelessly. The alcohol soaking into the cotton and leaving the shirt a noticeably darker blue. JJ sighed. 

“I’m such a klutz,” Emily said apologetically. “My mom always was on my case for it.”

“It’s not your fault, Em,” JJ said, “it was an accident.”

Emily grabbed more paper towels, moving closer and helping her, patting on the shirt, over her stomach. 

JJ held her breath, realizing that Emily was so close. JJ could look up, see Emily’s face, looking concentrated, with her perfect red lips right there. Her strong hands were carefully dabbing at her shirt, fussing over JJ in a way that made her heart skip a beat. Emily’s collarbones led down to her chest, visible with her low cut chest. JJ felt herself blush, looking up to the ceiling, feeling embarrassed at these thoughts. 

JJ’s top hadn’t changed much, besides it feeling a bit less damp, it still showed the liquid clear as day. 

“This is doing just about nothing,” JJ sighed, clearing her throat. “Maybe I should just go home. It’s getting late anyways.”

“Nonsense,” Emily said. “You can wear this.”

JJ’s jaw dropped as Emily shrugged her plaid shirt off her shoulders, revealing her tank top underneath and handed it to her. JJ took it, dumbly, closing her mouth but saying nothing. 

Emily turned around, clicking the lock on the door, and leaning her shoulder against it, just in case. She took a sip out of JJ’s glass, casually, as if JJ was not about to take her shirt off behind her. 

Emily’s back was to her, but JJ sat, frozen, holding this new shirt in her hand. JJ pulled her wet shirt off, very aware of being naked in front of Emily. Well, shirtless, with her white bra visible, but still feeling incredibly naked. 

She quickly buttoned up the plaid shirt, it was oversized and a warm grey with hints of green and navy, feeling very incredibly soft. 

Warm and dry, JJ felt the shirt envelop her in what felt like a hug. A hug from Emily. 

JJ hopped off the counter and smoothed out her new shirt, Emily’s shirt. JJ folded up her wet shirt and held it in her left hand. The other girl turned and looked JJ up and down, with an unreadable expression on her face. 

“You look good,” Emily commented. 

“Thank you,” JJ managed. 

They stared at each other, for a moment, the room filling with a tension that made her shiver. The music thumped from the other room, but JJ’s heartbeat was deafening. She had accidentally stripped a layer off of Emily, and desperately wanted to take more off of her. Emily’s black tank was riding up, revealing a small strip of her stomach above her high waisted jeans. Emily’s face was flushed from the alcohol, her pale skin becoming pink on her cheeks and nose. JJ thought back to that morning when she had caught Emily in her PJs, of what she knew was under her shirt. This too hugged her curves, revealing hints about what lay beneath. 

“We better get back,” JJ found herself whispering. 

The bathroom was small, so the two of them were packed together in the tiny space. Emily suddenly leaned forward, closing the distance between them, reaching her hands out towards JJ. 

JJ’s heart raced, unsure what to expect. Was Emily going to kiss her? No. Why would she? Oh my god what if she was? 

Emily’s hand carefully fixed her collar, tugging on it slightly. 

“There,” Emily whispered, “you’re perfect.”  

JJ closed her eyes at the feeling of Emily’s hands on her. Sighing slightly. 

She chastised herself for being silly. Emily was just fixing her collar. Being a good friend. 

“Let’s get back,” JJ said. 

“If we have to,” Emily replied. JJ tried not to read into that too much.  

They returned to their table, squeezing back in tightly with their overcrowded group of friends. They were in a heated debate about the Zodiac killer. Neither girl knew how the conversation got there, but Emily immediately joined the conversation. 

After a few minutes, and after quite a few sly looks from Penelope, the MC tapped on the mic, gaining the audience's attention. 

“We officially have a winner!” Tara announced, “With 36 points, it’s Counter Intelligence!”

Their table erupted in cheers. They had won! There were a flurry of high fives, hugs and fist bumps in their celebration. 

Tara, the MC came over to their table to congratulate them. She told them that they had beat out the second place by one point. 

“Impressive work everyone,” Tara said, “that’s close to a high score, and these were hard questions.”

“We have a great team,” Penelope said with a grin. 

“I can tell,” Tara replied. “Are you all going to come back next week? It’s Halloween themed!”

They looked at each other, then nodded at her. It was a plan. 

“See you then!” Tara said. 

She gave them their prizes, which were mugs with the bars logo printed in white on the green mugs. She would treasure it. 

JJ finds herself yawning, catching the eye of Emily, who said: “we better get JJ to bed, looks like she’s fading.”

Please, JJ thought sleepily, resting her drunk head on her hand, take me to bed.

Sitting down, JJ’s five or so drinks had hit her hard, and she dreaded standing up and risking stumbling. She was drunk. JJ wasn’t a light weight, but over their time at the bar, she had gotten quite a bit of alcohol into her system. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” JJ could feel Penelope grab her arm and hoist her up. JJ leaned on her, feeling a warm affection for her friend in the moment. 

Together, they walked home in the cold night air. Laughing, chatting and walking together amicably, all holding their prizes in hand. JJ leaned into Penelope’s side, feeling warm despite the chill of the air. Something felt incredibly right about that moment, those people. 

She didn’t want it to end. 

They went their separate ways from Hotch once they got to campus, bidding him farewell, not before Penelope added him to a group chat titled “The Team 🕺” in reference to their trivia playing. Hotch promised he’d join them all again next week. 

Once they climbed the stairs to their floor, Reid continued up to his room and the four of them found themselves trying to quietly return to their rooms without getting caught by the RA. 

Despite being served for the entire night, if they got caught drinking underage they would get in a lot of shit, especially Derek and JJ on their athletic scholarships. 

Muffled whispers and giggling filled the air as they walked through the common room.

Derek hugged them all goodbye—he seemed to be a hugger JJ surmised—and went to his room down the hall. 

“Oh!” JJ said, spinning to face Emily in the hall. Penelope had already entered their dorm, with the door closing behind her. “I can give your shirt back tomorrow! I can… er… wash it for you. It probably smells like beer now.”

Emily gazed at her, from over her shoulder as she unlocked her door, looking JJ up and down.

“Keep it,” she said. “It looks good on you.”

JJ would swear she saw Emily wink at her, but couldn’t be sure. 

Emily disappeared into her dorm room, and JJ went into hers. 

She slept with the shirt folded neatly next to her pillow, the smell of Emily’s perfume filling her senses as she dreamt. 

[wreckofawriter]

Pulled Apart

~Part 1~ ~Part 3~

Pairings: Sirius Black x reader, Regulus Black x reader, James Potter x reader, Remus Lupin x reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Swearing?

Summary: Everyone is lost in the world as the man soon to be called the Dark Lord rises to power. Your parents are already ready to give their life along with your own for this man. You spend your seventh year in Hogwarts being pulled apart by the expectations for you and the hope placed in you by your childhood friend Sirius and his closest companions

A/n: Sorry I've been so inactive. I just finished my last week of school and I had a shit ton of projects to do and now its summer so I feel empty... anyway hope you guys like it! Also check out my 2k celebration

    A soft giggle met your ears, its familiarity was hypnotizing, its source just out of reach. You gazed around the room trying to find the origin of the noise, the shimmering gowns and sharp sound of heels on marble confused your senses. You felt a soft tap on your shoulder, the feeling of relief rolled over you as you greeted the curious grey eyes of your best friend. You reached your hand out to touch his cheek but instead of meeting skin, your fingers fell through as if you had tried to hold the wind. Suddenly you were shoved forward falling through the mist you had been convinced was Sirius and landing on the ballroom floor. Your white dress spilled around you as you tried to stand. 

    “Y/n, are you alright?” 

    You looked up to see Regulus, he was dressed in a formal suit, his hair brushed back from his face. He held his hand as an offer which you took. As you were pulled upright you glanced down at your gown, its brilliant white and delicate lace were blinding. A vail spilled down your back, a golden band shimmering on your left hand. 

You felt your heart speed as your eyes darted around the crowded room of blurred faces. They landed on your mother her smirk ever present as her face twitched into one of a pale demon. Your breaths were short and useless.

    “Y/n?” 

    You looked up at Regulus who now held your hands gingerly in his own, a soft look of concern graced his sharp-cut features. You felt dizzy, the heels you wore digging into the back of your feet. The thin lace of your dress did nothing to hide the tattoo stabbed into the skin of your forearm. A snake pulling from a skull in a gruesome scene. You opened your mouth to scream.

    You sat up suddenly in your bed. The sheets you were tangled in felt slick with sweat, a shiver rippling your body. Your memory began to do flips as the strange dream that had woken you evaded the present thoughts of your mind. You stared at the dull grey light which blanketed your dorm, the quiet sound of Bellatrix’s snores giving you no comfort. It felt wrong, sleeping so close to your enemies. That’s what they were now right? Enemies. Or maybe the conversation you had had with the curious man in half-moon spectacles had been some twisted, far away dream as well. You couldn’t quite think straight, your stomach churned with the familiar feeling dread. 

    You leaned for your wand which stood on the small table next to your bed, you flicked it with a whisper, and light filled the small curtains which surrounded you. Sliding them aside you stepped from beneath your blanket, warm feet cooling on the stone floor. You pulled on a sweatshirt and padded quietly towards the door. Pushing it open carefully you thanked the hinges for their silence and began down the steps. 

    You had always preferred the castle at night, the sliver moonlight which filtered through the windows, the soft whine of the wind, the snores of portraits. Not to mention the lack of prying eyes and the comfort of solidarity which you rarely felt. It was all calming, therapeutic. 

    Your original destination had been the astronomy tower but when you heard a pair of footsteps in your path you turned quickly and instead headed for the small courtyard. You made it without incident, the sound of the falling water paired with the chirp of crickets was lulling. 

    You slide to the ground, back resting on the cool concrete of the fountain, and leaned your head upward. The moon was nearing full, stars bright and blinking. The night was slowly fading, you still weren’t sure what time it was but your guess was close to three. 

    Dumbledore’s words repeated in your head, the image of a young Sirius sobbing in front of you spilling in your vision as you slipped from reality. You felt your eyes sting with unshed tears before you managed to blink them away. 

    “Y/n?”

    Your head snapped forwards, eyes opening as you instinctively raised your wand. You peered over its point to see James Potter. His hair was its usual curly mess, glasses crooked on his nose, his dark eyes peering down at you in confusion.

    You stood too quickly, wand lowered to your side, “What are you doing out of bed?” 

    He grinned, “I was going to ask you the same.”

    You folded your arms in front of you, “Well I asked first.”

    “Well, I’m head boy so I win.” He smirked pointing to the small pin which shimmered on his robes. 

    You scoffed, “There’s nothing to win.” turning away from the boy you prepared to leave.

    He tsked his tongue taking a few hurried steps until he stood in front of you, “Seriously y/n, you didn’t think you were getting away this easy did you?”  

    “I was kind of hoping I would.” you scowled, “But I supposed you are wearing the snitch badge.” 

    “It’s not a snitch badge.” James defended, your eyes rolled. He paused sighing, “Look y/n, just tell me what you were doing. I’m not going to sell you out to anyone.”

    You glanced up at him in consideration, “You first, you’re not doing any narc duties this late so you’re out here for a reason too.” 

    “Stubborn.” He mumbled but complied, “Fine, I was setting up a prank.” 

    “Liar.” You stated plainly, “I’m not stupid Potter.” 

    He furrowed his brows, “Why would I lie?” 

    You shrugged, “I don’t know, you tell me.” 

    “I’m not lying.” He argued, pushing his glasses up his nose.

    You narrowed your eyes at him scanning his appearance, “Fine.” you said finally and James released a breath.

    “So why are you out?” He asked hurriedly.

    You hummed, “No reason really. I just can’t think in my dorm.” 

    James frowned, “Why wouldn’t you tell me that?” 

    “More fun to watch you struggle,” you explained with a grin, “I don’t know why you care in the first place.” 

    “Because we’re friends.” 

    You clicked your tongue, “Are we?” 

    He laughed lightly, “You’re such an asshole sometimes.” 

    “That’s rude.” You respond, “Look I’m exhausted, I’m heading back.” 

    “I’ll walk with you,” James stated. You rolled your eyes again. 

    You both headed back through the corridors and down towards your common room in silence, neither of you were too fond of getting caught, the idea of detention wasn’t all that appealing. 

    “So what were you thinking about?” James asked as you reached the safety of the dungeons.

    “What?”

    “You said you went to the courtyard to think,” He explained, “What about?

    “None of your business,” you answered quickly, happy to see your escape approaching.

    James pushed his glasses up his nose, he didn’t like the feeling of paranoia you seemed to adopt. It was unsettling. He wondered if Dumbledore had asked you about joining the Order but didn’t dare bring it up. 

    “Well, uh thanks for walking me.” You spoke turning to face him.

    James smiled, “It’s no problem.” 

    You gave him a tight-lipped smile and a small wave before whispering a password and disappearing behind the slowly opening wall. 

    Something was definitely up with you. 

    You sighed heavily, your eyelids seemed to weigh pounds as you started across the room. The sudden click of a light turning on caused your heart to jump. 

    “Merlin, Nina.” You gasped, hand over your chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

    She glared at you, her arms crossed in front of her, “Where were you?” 

    “Nowhere,” You replied. “Just out.”

    “Who were you talking to?” She continuted. 

    “No one, what’s up with the interrogation?” 

    She ignored you, “You were with Sirius weren’t you? Really y/n? Right after he broke Pearl’s heart?” 

    “I wasn’t with Sirius.” You deadpanned, “And it wouldn’t matter if I was.” 

    “Who were you with then?” She pressed standing from her seat, her sea-green eyes boring into you in ways which made you shiver. 

    “I happened to run into James, it was no big deal.” 

    Her eyes narrowed, “Why did he walk you back?” 

    “How am I supposed to know?” You huffed. 

    She paused, tucking her shimmering black hair neatly behind her ears, “You’re lucky I don’t tell Pearl about you sneaking out again. She would be ticked off.” 

    “Whatever.” You mumbled heading back towards your dorm, Nina behind you, her hands tucking into her silk robe which cost more than it should have. 

    “Why even are you friends with Black?” She asked as you reached the top of the stairs, “He’s an asshole.” 

    “We’ve known each other forever.” You reasoned. 

    Nina scoffed, “Doesn’t change the fact that he’s a dick.” 

    You shrugged heading towards your bed, “Night Nina.” You sighed as you tugged your blanket over your shoulder. Images of tattoos and white dress suddenly conquered your mind. For some reason, Pearl’s heartbreak was the last thing on your mind. 

    The next morning was fuzzy around the edges, like some sort of haze. You felt half dead and half paranoid as if the entire school had somehow overheard the conversation you and Dumbledore had had the night before. 

    Nina didn’t speak to you about your conversation a few hours ago as you readied yourself. She had always been like that, blunt and stern. If she had wanted more information on where you had been she would have gotten it. You supposed being a muggleborn Slytherin made her that way. The only thing that kept her from being completely dehumanized by many of the Slytherins was her money. Despite being muggleborn you were pretty sure she was richer than anyone in the house which meant she could almost blend in with the spoiled rich kids you had grown up with. 

    Nina lead you towards the hall for breakfast rambling about some test she had in History of Magic and how you should really be studying more. 

    “Y/n! Nokomis!” A familiar voice called over the murmur of the crowded hallway. 

    You whipped around to greet none other than Sirius Black. 

    Nina’s face scrunched in disgust, “What do you want Black?” 

    “I need to borrow y/n for a moment.” He grinned but there was a sense of forgery to it.

    “I’ll see you in a minute.” You whispered to the olive-skinned girl before starting towards Sirius whos smile had dropped. 

    “Whats up Siri?” You asked falling into step with your friend before suddenly being shoved sideways. You stumbled into a closet, hand pressing into a broom handle as your foot struck a small bucket on the ground. The door was shut and you were thrown into darkness

    “Godric Sirius, what the hell is going on?” You hissed reaching out to try and find him but missing and tripping forward. 

Sirius caught you in his chest your momentum sending him backward, colliding with the door. He didn’t seem to care as he snatched your hands into his own.

“You said yes last night right?” His voice sounded desperate.

You stiffened, swallowing thickly, “Yeah.” 

In seconds he had you wrapped in his arms, your face pressed into the fabric of his dress shirt as he buried his head into your neck. 

Shock froze you in your place for a moment before you melted into his embrace, the scent of mint and smoke filling you. Your worries seemed to wash away as Sirius held you, his quickened heartbeat loud in your ears, his breath hot on your neck. You felt the color rise to your cheeks and you only fisted his shirt, trying to pull him impossibly closer

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to get you away from that shit,” he mumbled into your ear.

And suddenly it was all back, the dread, the anger, the fear. You were crying before you even knew it. Thick tears spilling from your eyes as you muffled sobs into the boy’s chest. 

“Shit y/n, what’s wrong?” Sirius asked pulling back and prying you away from him so he could look you in the eye, now adjusted to the dim lighting. 

You only cried harder raising your hands to your face to hide yourself. 

Sirius was stunned, he couldn’t remember the last time you had cried in front of him, it must have been years ago. A slight panic filled him, “I’m so sorry. Did I say something? I didn’t-”

“It’s not you.” You whimpered, “I’m so scared Siri, I’m just so fucking scared.” 

Sirius felt his face drop, eyes softening before he pulled you back into him, a hand threading through your hair. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he mumbled, “I’ll keep you safe. I promise.” 

   

    You didn’t get a chance to see Nina or the others before classes. Instead, you headed for Arithmancy, a class you had grown to hate more than you should have. It didn’t help that Professor Vector hated your guts. She ignored your questions and always called on you for answers despite the fact that your hand was never raised. There was only one saving grace in the dreadful class and that was Remus Lupin. 

    You had been placed next to the boy by your professor on the first day of your seventh year and since then he had become a lifeline. On your way to the classroom you hated so much you did everything you could to not look like you had been sobbing in a broom closet moments before, you didn’t do much good. 

    You walked into the class head down wishing you had a hood to hide under. Remus was already in his seat a book covering most of his face. When you fell into your own place next to him releasing a soft sigh the book was dropped onto the table in front of him. 

    “Are you okay?” He asked. It had been barely fifteen seconds since you entered the classroom. 

    You gave him a weak smile, “I’m fine.” 

    Remus frowned, “Here.” his wand was suddenly out and pointed towards you. The boy didn’t miss the slight flinch that you gave but said nothing to it, “Tergeo.” He mumbled and the smeared trails of mascara were wiped away, your face left as a clean slate. 

    Remus felt his eyes flirt down towards your lips for only a moment before he pulled away, knowing he had stared just a second too long. “Sorry.” 

    You laughed lightly, “Why are you apologizing?” 

    His ears went red, he glanced down at his hands feeling a bit stupid.

    You shook your head smiling. Your hand ran through your hair, and you groaned slightly, “My hair is so gross right now.” You muttered under your breath attempting to brush through the tangles with your fingers. 

    “Here.”

    You moved your gaze back to your desk partner who now had his hand out, offering the navy beanie which had been placed on his head moments ago. 

    “Really?” You asked eyes wide as Remus shoved the hat into your arms, his own eyes looking at anything but you.

    “Just take it.” He replied thrusting his face back into his book hoping you wouldn’t catch the heat which had now spread to his cheeks. 

    You pulled the beanie on top of your head tapping the werewolf on the shoulder, “Thanks Re.”

    Remus gulped, sure you could see the blush that now filled his face as you smiled warmly at him, his own hat perched on your head, “Of course.” He managed to croak. 

Taglist:

@accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @willowyreads @approved-by-dentists @itslilithsstuff @captainshazamerica @findzelda

Masterlist

One more thing: I have some major plot points figured out but I suck at story boarding so if there is something you want to see in this fic or ideas for plot, I will totally consider them

[cutie1365]

A Kid from Queens Part 20

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Info: CA: Civil War Era. Tony Stark enlists his daughter to find the web slinging spider in Queens.

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: Language

A/N: For my sweet, sweet anon- Happy Birthday my love! This is for you, as you wish.

Any and all feedback is much appreciated!

Masterlist linked in my bio. Taglist in the reblog.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

With the gala a little more than a week away, you began to make your preparations. You’d already gotten your dress and had it fitted with your tailor. That left Peter. It wouldn’t be a stretch for you to assume that he’d never been to a gala before. Meaning most likely, he also didn’t have a suit. Or one that wasn’t a hand-me-down.

Of course, you’d already picked out the perfect Tom Ford black suit for him. You were the one that invited him and wanted him to come, the least you could do is get him a nice suit that he can wear for years to come. For that to happen, it would have to be tailored to perfection, and luckily you knew just the place.

Yes, you already had all of his measurements from his Spider-Man suit so you could just give them that, but where’s the fun in that? Everyone deserves a private audience with the best tailor in New York at least once in their life. The thrill of almost being impaled with tiny pins is completely worth the reward of having something made so perfectly for you. To have an item that no other person owns, and only fits you. Your body gets to be the canvas that the garment is painted on.

You’d already made the appointment when you texted Peter.

Are you free after school today?

Nearly an hour later, in what you suspected was a passing period, you got a reply.

Yeah, why?

You smirked as you typed your response, you wanted this to be a surprise.

You’ll see ;)

Peter shook his head with a smile at your cryptic message, if he knew one thing, it was to always expect the unexpected from a Stark.

As the final bell rang, he leisurely made his way from his locker out to the entrance of the school. He walked absentmindedly, hands in his pockets before he looked up and his eyes grew wide.

On the street in front of the school, you were leaning against your convertible. Sunglasses on, arms crossed as Flash stood before you. Your body language was a clear indication that you weren’t amused with Flash’s feeble attempts to flirt with you.

As you looked up and your eyes met with Peter's, a smile spread across your face as you wiggled your fingers in a wave. Flash whipped around to see what, or rather who, had drawn your attention.

“Penis Parker, your ride’s here.” Flash teased as Peter approached the car. You slowly lifted your sunglasses to the top of your head.

“You know Flash,” You took a long breath, drawing out your words, “For a straight guy, you really love to talk about Peter’s dick.”

Laughter erupted around you from the small crowd of Flash’s cronies that had gathered to watch him shoot his shot with a Stark. You lowered your sunglasses as you held your smirk, Flash’s face turned beet red and he stormed off with a huff.

“I think that was the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” Peter beamed, a giddy smile on his face. You walked around the hood of the car and hopped back into the driver seat.

“I was just stating a fact,” You chuckled, “Hop in.”

Peter did as instructed, closing the door behind him. You kicked the car into drive and sped off.

“Did Flash ask why you were here?” Peter asked curiously, and you nodded in response.

“I told him Tony Stark needs Peter’s help on a project for his internship and asked me to pick him up right away,” You smirked, “That shut him up.”

Peter chuckled, imagining the look on Flash’s face when he realized that Peter wasn’t making any of this Stark Internship stuff up, and that Tony Stark actually knew who he was.

“So where are we really headed? Your text was very mysterious.” He smiled, you turned to face him once you’d reached the stop light.

You lifted your glasses and smiled at him, your eyes meeting. You couldn’t believe the two of you were here like this. A month ago you weren’t even speaking, and as much as that broke your heart it was worth it. The hiding and sneaking around was worth it to be here now with him, driving around New York with the top down, not caring who saw you.  

You reached to take his hand, giving it a squeeze. Peter leaned closer to you and you met him halfway, your lips meeting for a moment in a chaste kiss.

A honk from the car behind you forced you apart as the light turned green.

“Let’s get a move on!” The driver yelled.

“We’re having a moment here!” You yelled back, earning a middle finger in response as you took your foot off the break.

“I love this fucking city,” You laughed, and Peter joined in.

“Are you gonna answer my question or am I supposed to guess?” Peter smirked, his hand still in yours.

“Queens.” You answer, glancing at Peter and seeing him raise a brow, “We’re going to a gala, and you need a suit. We’re going to my tailor.”

“So does that mean I get to see your dress?” He wiggles his brows, causing you to laugh.

“No, it’s a surprise.” You shook your head, using the heel of your hand to turn the steering wheel, taking you onto the Queensboro bridge. The first place you’d met Peter. If your father hadn’t enlisted you to find the webslinger, you would have never met him. Or maybe you would have. Maybe you were destined to meet and no matter what path you followed it would always lead to him.

“Where is this gala again?” Peter asked after a moment, he had been glancing out the car at the bridge. You wondered if he was also thinking about your chance encounter.

“Inside Belvedere Castle in Central Park.” You answer, it had recently reopened but you’ve never been to an event inside. It normally housed exhibits or small private parties. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited, and a little nervous. You didn’t want anything to go wrong, you needed a good night, especially considering what had happened last time. You knew you’d be safe with Peter by your side, but you just wanted one smooth night with no heroes required.

“Cool,” Peter nodded, having never been there himself. How he got wrapped up in a life of billionaires and crime fighting, he’d never know.

“So I figured we could get some food after the fitting? And maybe bring May some, because we need to do some schmoozing.” You said, causing Peter to raise a brow.

“Why?” He asked, curiously.

“Soo... they always book rooms in a hotel near the venue for after the gala. They collect the most donations at the bar of the afterparty and this year they picked The Plaza. They gave me a room, so I thought we could stay there, order room service, kinda have a mini vacation.” You explained, hoping this wouldn’t be too much. A gala is one thing, but spending the night in a big fancy hotel is another.

“That sounds amazing!” Peter beamed.

“But,” You said, drawing out the word, “I don’t want May to kill me, so we kinda need her blessing.”

“Yeah that’s a good idea. I don't think she’ll mind.” He said casually.

“I’m prepared with more shoes if she says no,” You laughed, but you weren’t kidding.

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary.” Peter chuckled, shaking his head.

“I don’t know... If my son asked to spend a night in a fancy hotel with his girlfriend I’d be a little hesitant.” You shrugged.

That was the first time Peter had heard you refer to yourself as his girlfriend, and that was the first time you’d said it outloud. You liked the way it sounded, you could get used to that.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

After a fitting full of laughter and you shamelessly checking out Peter’s ass, the two of you were sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner and chatting.

“Hey guys,” May says as she walks in the door, “Oo that smells good.”

“We got you some.” You smile, pointing back to the box on the counter.

“Aw, you guys.” She smiled as she made her way to the kitchen, ruffling Peter’s hair on the way.

“How was work?” Peter asked Aunt May while he tried to flatten his hair.

“Good, good. What are you kids up to?” She asked, taking a bite.

“We were just talking about that charity gala I told you about.” Peter said.

“Oh right, the childhood cancer one.” She nodded, chewing.

“Yeah, so Y/N was just telling me that they gave us a room in the Plaza for that night, but we wanted to make sure that was ok with you first.” He said, and this was the moment of truth.

“I don’t know Peter, let me think about it.” May said, just as you’d suspected.

Peter looked at you, worry evident in his eyes, he wasn’t expecting her to say that. You shook your head in a “don’t worry, I got this, follow my lead” kinda way.

You picked up your phone, and stared at it for a moment, forming your plan.

“Oh shoot,” You muttered, pretending to read and scroll through something on your phone.

“What is it?” Peter asked, looking over your shoulder, seeing the screen was black as you continued to tap on it.

“I forgot I had booked a salon and spa appointment for tomorrow but I have a meeting with the Robotics Board upstate,” You explained, turning and speaking directly to Peter.

“Can you get it moved?” He asked, playing along.

“No, it’s nonrefundable,” You shook your head, and went back to swiping on the blank screen before pretending like a brilliant idea just popped in your head, “Aunt May, why don’t you go?”

“Me?” She asked, surprised.

“I mean, it will just go to waste otherwise and I can’t make it. We’re starting trials on new nano-tech prototypes so it’s probably going to take all day.” You explained. If this whole engineering and CEO thing didn’t work out, you might have to go into acting, because you were killing this.

“Well... I guess if it’s gonna go to waste. I haven’t been to the spa in forever.” May smiled. Hook, line, sinker.

“Perfect, problem solved!” You smiled, and quickly changed the subject back to Peter’s day at school to not seem too suspicious.

Now we wait.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

The three of you talked for hours, about life, about school, about work. It felt good, normal even. Like this was something you could get used to. Peter and his Aunt accepted you so quickly into their world and their lives. You felt like you’ve been doing this for years, like you’ve known each other for years. They didn’t treat you like the daughter of a billionaire, they just treated you like Y/N.

Before you knew it, it was late and about time for you to head home. When you were with Peter time seemed to fly by. You were gathering your things when May spoke up.

“When’s this gala again?” She asked Peter, and you knew your plan was coming to fruition.

“Friday.” He answered.

“The Plaza you said?” She asked, and the two of you nodded in response.

She sighed, knowing you’d both be safe there and it was close to the venue.

“Ok.” She nodded and both of your faces lit up. It worked!

“But no alcohol.” She pointed at both of you with a stern face.

“No alcohol.” You and Peter repeated in unison, nodding along. That wouldn’t be a problem, you’d learned your lesson from last time you were drunk around Peter.

“No drugs.” She maintained her protective stare.

“No drugs.” You both nodded.

So far the bar was pretty low. If it were your father he’d be saying ‘No hacking government agencies, no lazers, and don’t do anything I would do’ which really took a lot off the list.

“And use protection.” May said finally, your eyes going wide. Peter dropped his head into his hands.

“May....” He groaned in embarrassment. You hoped your cheeks weren’t betraying you and turning a bright red. You never expected that to come out of May’s mouth.

“I’m just saying. You’re both adults, I just want you to be careful.” She answered, and you smiled and nodded awkwardly.

“I’ll um, I’ll walk you out.” Peter pointed to the door, and you followed him.

Peter was silent on the trip from the apartment to the elevator.

“Told you we’d need the spa day,” You smirked, trying to cheer him up. He still looked mortified by May’s comment.

“You know, my father would have said something much worse, so you shouldn’t be embarrassed.” You tried, comfortingly grabbing onto his arm.

“I know, I just... I don’t want you to think that’s the only reason I want to go. Especially after what Thomas said-” Peter began to ramble, but you cut him off.

“Hey, hey. I know you Peter. I know you’re not like that. I don’t want you to worry about that. We’re in no rush. It’ll happen when the time is right.” You said, still surprised that clearly what Thomas had said was weighing on him so heavily. You knew he’d said it just to get under Peter’s skin, but you couldn’t let him win.

“Ok.” He nodded, seeming to be convinced by your words as the two of you stepped off the elevator onto the first floor.

“Now we can have a relaxing night out where you don’t have to lie about where you’re going.” You smiled, trying to lighten the mood as you were approaching the door.

“Yeah you’re right, I’m sorry.” Peter shook his head for even bringing up Thomas. You grabbed his arm once more, stopping him from opening the door. He turned back to you, and furrowed his brows slighting in anticipation.

“There’s no need to apologize for caring, Peter. It’s sweet.” You assured him, and he smiled. He bent down to kiss you before leading you out to your car.

“Text me when you get home safe.” Peter instructed as he opened your car door for you, a true gentleman.

“I will, I’ll see you Friday. I actually do have a meeting for the Robotics Board tomorrow. Now I have to go book May a salon and spa appointment. Maybe I’ll throw in a manicure for good measure.” You rambled as you got into the car and started the engine, lowering the window as Peter closed the door.

“You’re gonna spoil her.” He teased, leaning into the open window.

“Who else am I going to spoil? Unless you want some Jimmy Choos and a mani pedi?” You teased back, making Peter chuckle.

“Drive safe.” He kissed you once more before backing up back onto the sidewalk.

“Bye.” You smiled with a wink before pulling out onto the street.

Once you had returned home and gotten into your pjs you raised your phone to take a selfie. Snapping the picture, you sent it to Peter to let him know you’d made it home safe.

Proof of life ;)

Almost immediately you saw the three flashing dots appear as Peter typed his reply.

Cute pjs, goodnight, don’t let the spiders bite.

You chuckled, shaking your head at your phone screen.

I don’t think that’s how the saying goes lol, stay safe on patrols tonight x

Pulling your blanket over yourself as you settled into bed, you heard your phone ding.

I always am ;)

You shook your head, that boy was going to be the death of you.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!

[fae-redux]

im stuck on you

S: People usually find their soulmate by following their heart (the closer you are to your soulmate, the warmer you’ll feel). Remus has been pining for so long, he doesn’t know how to handle himself.

P: dukeceit

happy birthday, @littlemisschameleon!! it’s corona and i can’t give you a physical present so have some dukeceit soulmate au!! i hope you like it :D (here’s an ao3 link if yall like that formatting better)

***

Remus sends the letter because Roman’s teacher thinks a penpal will help him learn English. Also, because Roman thinks it’s stranger danger and won’t. 

If he gets kidnapped, at least there’s a chance for his heart to feel warmer whichever direction his kidnapper goes. Fact remains, he’s freezing and bored and he’d do pretty much anything to not be.

He neglects to say that in the letter. 

His penpal instead receives the gift of approximately two full pages of fun facts about different species of mushrooms and how fast they can decay different animals. It’s pretty well written, if he says so himself, and it’s all in English because he’s polite, not because it has to be.

Any who, Ms. Andrea says she’s not going to read the letters before they’re sent, and Roman is only required to send one at a time, so Remus signs it with his own name and lets it go.

He doesn’t expect the letter he gets back to be so nice.

His penpal’s name is Janus and he doesn’t like to eat mushrooms unless they’re in fried rice, but he loves how mushrooms look.

There are little mushroom doodles that line the bottom, along with a few snakes, which Janus goes on to say is because they’re his favorite animal because of the way they unhinge their jaws.

Remus has never wished to be in the same school as someone more.

***

The next letter they write to each other includes their emails, and Remus takes full advantage of it to send Janus all the deadliest snakes he’s found out about in the library, and includes a pain scale with human accounts of getting bitten.

Janus sends back a heart and fun facts about the deadliest octopi in the ocean. 

He feels his heart get slightly warmer when he hugs the monitor, and when he loudly proclaims he found his soulmate, he gets a laugh from Roman.

He asks him what his plan is here, and Remus tells him to shut his fuck and keep his nose out of it if he doesn’t want to get smacked.

***

When they’re old enough to have phones, they exchange cell numbers, and Remus gets daily updates instead of sporadic emails.

He finds out that Janus likes to dress a little more on the punk side and that he wants a million tattoos as soon as he’s old enough. Janus tells him about foster homes and how he thinks he might be sticking with one of the other kids he met who is a little older than him, but is sort of like him. 

Janus is smart, smarter than anyone he’s ever met in real life, and he wants to go to law school because he knows he can talk his way out of hell if the devil asked him to try, and Remus is inclined to believe he could do it if he wanted to. He thinks through all his words, his every movement, ten times before he follows through, unlike Remus’ zero-thought policy.

He learns that Janus likes boys, but there aren’t really other people in his hometown like him, and that he wants to study in a big city someday so he’s not so alone. 

He learns that Janus wants to keep talking to him forever, or at least that’s what he tells him.

Remus in turn tells him about his brother, and their origin story. He tells him about how everyone else just seemed to have grown out of curiosity and how he feels out of touch with other people his age sometimes. 

There’s still a part of him that feels like he’s been touching all the stars in the sky, but none of them have set his orbit quite right, leaving him drifting endlessly.

He tells him that he might like boys too, but he doesn’t really want to tell his mom because she already rags on him for everything else, like wanting to go to art school and his knife collection and how he’ll never meet his soulmate with an attitude like his. 

He doesn’t tell him about the small seed of doubt in the back of his head that Janus won’t want to stay if he ever meets him in real life. 

He tells him he wants to keep talking forever too.

***

They don’t ever talk about meeting in person. For the first time in their lives, they’re in the same city, but every time he goes to bring it up, seeing a picture of Janus in the financial district, or near his favorite Starbucks, something makes him hesitate. 

Remus wants it so bad, it feels like all the air in his lungs isn’t real sometimes, or like something cut up his insides then spooned all the pieces out to replace them with ice. Still, the thought lingers in the back of his mind that Janus hasn’t suggested it for a reason. 

They still talk all the time though, whether it's to rant about professors, or homework, or siblings, or just about something they saw recently.

Janus tends to hyperfocus on cases he works on in his internship sometimes, and when he’s allowed, he tells Remus all the gory details and grins when he revels in the fun, while also giving valuable insight that contributes to his defense.

Remus in turn sends him the paintings that don’t involve Janus’ face and stupid selfies he takes at random food carts around school that are rumored to give you instant food poisoning. 

He makes sure to send progress updates on the projects he really feels good about and sends him updates on Roman and his new trends, whether they be six second dance videos or random quotes he’s said to him of varying hilarity based on how stupid they are.

The longer he lives in the city, the more Remus knows his heart feels warmer. He’s been feeling it since the start of the semester, but he hasn’t said anything yet, at least not to Janus. Roman is free game, though:

“Roman, I swear to everything fuckable within a ten mile radius, he probably goes to the same college as me,” Remus groans, his feet propped up on the back of the couch as he lies upside down. “I get warmer every time I go to campus.”

“There’s a million colleges in New York, so he really might not be,” Roman says reasonably, doing his eyeliner in the hall mirror. “Besides, he’s pre-law, right? There’s no way.”

“You’re just being uppity because you fricking met your soulmate on campus,” He responds grumbling.

“You’re right, I am. My soulmate’s a genius and I am very lucky to have met him when I did,” His twin’s pride infects the room, and he throws one Roman’s unnecessary couch pillows at him. “If you make me screw up my eyeliner, I’m going to run you through with one of your stupid wall-katanas.”

“They aren’t stupid, and I’m never going to see him face to face at this rate, so you might as well,” he snipes back, his purely decorative wall-mounted katanas be damned.

Roman raises an eyebrow, as if his mocking will affect Remus at all, “I’ll be back in like three hours, then you can mope your heart out, okay?”

He gathers his things from the hall table as Remus yells at his retreating back, “I don’t mope, I’m not you!”

“No, you’re not, and that’s why you don’t have a hot date tonight!” he hears as the door shuts.

He wishes he kept the pillow to suffocate himself with.

***

When Roman knocks on Virgil’s door, he doesn’t expect the person who answers the door to be so familiar, and he’s sure the answering party doesn’t expect him either.

“I thought-Sorry, I thought my roommate’s soulmate was coming over,” Janus says, a flash of recognition in his eyes, completely stunned in a way Roman has never heard while listening in on his brother’s phone calls. 

“Yeah, no, I’m here for Virgil. Janus, right?” And at the immediately suspicious look goes, “Oh, for fuck’s sake, you send my brother at least five selfies a week, and he agonizes over your beauty for ages after every single one, you have to know I would recognize you on sight.”

“....Roman?” he asks, like he doesn’t actually know what was going to leave his mouth when he said it.

“That would be me,” Roman just goes for the back of his neck, before wincing at the Remus-like gesture. “So, uh, Virgil?”

“Yeah, yes!” Janus opens the door fully so fast, Roman almost expects him to run himself over, “Do come in. Would you like anything while you wait? Water? Tea?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Janus hovers for a moment like he’s going to say something, but bites his lip instead, “Want to know how my brother is doing?”

He shifts elegantly, though his chains rattle, making the adjustment more obvious, “Of course not, what do you take me for?”

“A liar, you definitely want to know how he’s doing. Well, you’ll be happy to know he lives fifteen minutes away,” Roman grins, “And he’s home alone right now, pouting about wanting to see you, if you wanna go over.”

“It would be rude to leave you unattended in my home,” Janus replies, his voice strangled. “Arrangements can be made to get Virgil to hurry up.”

Leaving the room in a swift movement of leather and metal, Janus nearly vaults the couch in his haste. Roman can hear him yelling at Virgil to “Hurry up, you nasty, spider-pet keeping bitch,” and his soulmate’s yells to “Get out of my room, you tattooed skank!” Then an offended gasp, “How dare you?” and the snarling response, “You barge into my space and-”

“You hooked up with my soulmate’s brother-”

”Who is my soulmate, idiot!”

“Would you just-”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

Janus leaves the room and, in Roman’s line of sight, straightens his shirt as if he’d just been in some sort of scuffle. “Virgil will be out shortly, if you wouldn’t mind giving me the address.”

“You two are going to be related if you marry my brother, you know?” Roman grins as he puts the address into Janus’ phone.

He takes the phone back and rolls his eyes, “We were fostered by the same family. We really can’t get any closer, but I’ll keep that in mind.”

“We were adopted by the same person, Jan, why do you always conveniently leave that part out?” Virgil grumbles as he enters the room. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and be safe.”

Janus sniffs turning up his nose, “I’m going to get violently murdered before I even make it there,”

“Don’t test me, I will put off this date,” he pushes Janus’ head forward so he can’t look up at them. “Be safe, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Janus mumbles, fixing his hat and his chained belt, “Do I look okay?”

“My brother is a trash rat,” Roman responds, louder than he means to, “You will look like a model next to him and you will constantly get questioned as to why you’re in a five foot radius of him.”

“So, good?”

“Fantastic,” Roman confirms. “Now have fun.”

Janus double checks his pockets for his phone and his wallet, and then he books it in the direction of the twins’ apartment.

***

For the first time since he moved in, Remus feels himself getting warmer by the second. It’s not as though he’s moved from his spot going over every single thing that could currently be going wrong at Roman’s date, but somehow, his heart is pounding like he has.

“What do you see?” He asks it, vaguely aware it can’t actually respond. Either his soulmate just figured out where he lives, or there is something extremely important happening in the city.

Picking up his phone to check, it lights up with a text from Roman reading ‘Sending a pick-me-up your way,’ but he has no idea what it means.

After two minutes of constant heat, he searches for major events happening nearby. Nothing.

Five more minutes pass, and he thinks he might die young to a heart attack.

There’s a knock on the door.

His self preservation instincts must be completely nonexistent at this point because he yanks the door open with a knife in his hand and freezes. There, right in front of him, is Janus, who he thought he’d never see, and who was always too good for him, and yet, perfect for him in every way and, “I could have accidentally killed you with one of my many wall-hung weapons because you didn’t knock like Roman,” and that is the first thing he chooses to say to his soulmate.

“I wouldn’t have appreciated the trip to the hospital after I just sprinted over half a mile to see you,” he pants a little, “I know we didn’t talk about it, but Roman showed up at my door, and I knew you had to be nearby, and I just-”

Remus yanks him forward into his arms, and sighs in relief as the heat abruptly goes away, “Mr. I-think-everything-through needed to be impulsive, huh?”

“Yes,” Comes the fervent response as he clings to Remus’ body. “I missed you.”

“I thought you didn’t want to meet up. We didn’t even-”

“I know,” And Janus’ mouth brushes his cheek, just barely, because he’s not tall enough to reach, and Remus bends down, and kisses him soundly on the mouth, the feeling running through his body like a new kind of heat and comfort, and it feels like he’s done it a million times, even if it’s the first time.

Breaking apart, he notices they’re just standing in the doorway of his apartment. “Come inside, sweetheart,” He wiggles his eyebrows salaciously, Janus bursting into laughter as he pushes him back. 

“Nope,” He grins fondly, and this is the first day of the rest of their lives, it hits Remus, “I think I’m going to cause problems on purpose.”

“Fair enough, honeybee,” He tugs at the yellow cuffs of Janus’ leather jacket, pressing a kiss to a tattoo at the edge of his hairline, “Want me to carry you? Roman did say he was sending a pick-me-up, and I can definitely pick you up.”

He’s giggling, Remus delights as he scoops him up, kicking the door shut behind them, “If you call me one more pet name, I will combust, and you will have no soulmate to be with, is that what you want?”

And he says what he wants to say, because Janus has never once cared about the shit that leaves his mouth, “Biscuit, I’ve waited so long to see you, even death couldn’t keep me away from holding you.”

Janus pushes into him and kisses him again, putting a hand in his hair, tugging slightly to get the angle he wants, “I wouldn’t want it to,” Then after another kiss, “Love you.”

Remus sighs into his mouth, his world aligning so he could be the orbit to Janus’ sun, the whole system correcting itself. “Yeah,” He holds him just a little bit tighter, “Love you, too.”

[zashamalkin]

Sport24 spent the whole day with Kasterova and found out how the wife of the three-time Stanley Cup winner lives.

Translation below the cut.

Sunday afternoon. The film crew and I drive up to the Malkins' house at 11:00. Anna's morning begins with a workout. The gym is located on the first floor of the house, where we meet the heroine and her coach Igor Kim, the CrossFit champion. “I always try to start the day with a workout, sometimes more intense, sometimes less. Today I will show you the standard workout that I do on the day of the broadcast. It gives a boost of energy, good mood, "  Anna begins.

First, warm up on a treadmill for ten minutes. Then there are jumps and squats, several types of "planks". “I train almost every day. I make myself indulgences: one or two days. To be honest, in Moscow I train less often and less intensively . "

An obligatory part of the program is work with dumbbells. With them, Anna lunges. This is followed by exercises with TRX loops and on the machine. “We work a lot on posture, gait,  ” explains Kasterov between approaches. While the trainer puts “pancakes” on the barbell, Anna talks about working with “weights” and her diet.

- You can't pump your ass without weights. This is unrealistic. And it's not a fact with weights. All have their weak points. I was once asked on Instagram the question: "Is it possible to pump up the ass in two months?" No you can not.

- Nutrition is also very important. - Of course! You kill so much in the gym, work for the result ... Well, what kind of rolls and gingerbread can we talk about? Already somewhere you have to choose steamed fish, vegetables. For example, now I don't eat sweets at all. In general, I have a sweet tooth: I don't eat fruits, but I like milk chocolate, kinders. But over the past two months I have not eaten sweets at all.

After squats with a barbell of 30 kg, jumping with an elastic band. The workout has been running for forty minutes, so it's time to cool down and stretch. At this time, Evgeny and Nikita Malkin appear at the door, who have come to say goodbye to their mother. Dad is taking his son to hockey practice. “When it comes to hockey, Evgeny is mainly involved. He himself sees and understands what load the child needs, how many times a week he needs to do it,  ”says Anna.

After training, Anna leaves to get ready. And in a few hours we go to the Suistudio store to meet with Match TV stylist Ruslan Shakurov and try on clothes for the television broadcast next week. On the way, we discussed with Kasterova her return to the big screen.

- The news of your return to Russian television excited the public. When did you receive an offer from Match TV and how long did you think about it? - Everything always happens spontaneously with me. As practice shows, if you prepare for some projects for a long time, then something will definitely happen. We knew a lot of guys from Match TV, including managers, chief editors, and sound engineers, and worked together at Russia-2. We basically kept in touch all this time. Before the anniversary of Match TV (November 1, 2020, the channel celebrated its fifth anniversary. -  Ed.) I got a call from one of the channel's top managers and invited me to a festive broadcast with Dima Guberniev. I was just about to fly to Sochi on vacation. I was very inspired by this proposal, immediately changed tickets, returned earlier and came as a guest presenter. The broadcast went easily, even there were such reviews: “We understand that you had a five-year break, but you worked so well, it was obvious that you were comfortable. Professionalism is not lost. How do you think about working while Zhenya is in Russia? " We discussed everything with the management, including Tina (Kandelaki, general producer of Match TV. -  Ed. ). By the way, she just charmed me. An incredibly smart, wise, amazing woman.

- When the season begins in the NHL, will you fly with Zhenya to America? “I don’t want to reveal all our secrets, all our agreements with Tina. We have a specific goal with her for the next year, to which we are moving. Perhaps I will periodically appear on the air. I will stay with Eugene in the USA, then I will return to Moscow for a month. All this does not exclude my possible journalistic activity in America.

- Before the first broadcasts after your return, were you very nervous? - No. Many thanks must be said to Dima Guberniev, who was able to relax me, create a comfortable atmosphere, and it was all “for fun”. The first broadcast was easy, there was no excitement. Another thing is when I was offered to return. Here I am already responsible, I am the one who broadcasts with the guests. Before the first broadcast, I was worried. But everything went well. I know how to cope with nerves, years of work and experience have not gone anywhere.

- Has it become difficult now to combine personal life and work? - In general, I spend a lot of time with my child. Of course, now it turns out less. But you have to think about yourself somehow. All these years I really missed work, broadcasts, these feelings. Fortunately, I have a very understanding family. First of all, my husband, who supported me incredibly strongly. Before each broadcast, he tunes me in, gives me parting words. He's happy for me. Understands that I will not stay in Moscow forever.

- From the outside one gets the impression that your life in recent years has been ideal. Husband with son, Miami, high income and the ability to buy whatever you want. Why did you decide to return to television and what did you miss? - In general, I was not born in some kind of golden cradle. In order to achieve some results in my career, I had to work hard. Actually, it hasn't gone anywhere. Yes, we are definitely lucky. We have a wonderful life filled with comfort. But understand that there are pros and cons everywhere. This does not mean that I wake up when I want and do what I want. Living with a professional athlete is also a certain job. A lot of time and attention is spent on Eugene. He is the head of the family, he is the main earner. We are all adjusting to it.

The desire to work never left me. By the way, many acquaintances said to me: “Nafig do you need this? You already have everything. Live, get high. " But, probably, I am so arranged that I cannot. There was a feeling that I had not completely done something, that I still want ethereal emotions, sensations. It's like a drug.

- You are constantly included in the ratings of the sexiest and most beautiful women in Russia. When you open these articles and news, what emotions do you feel? - It is very nice. Recently, a rating of Maxim magazine was compiled, at first the publication announced a list of girls who were included in it. By the way, they have a very cool editor-in-chief Alexander Malenkov, we have known each other for a long time. He has a cool editor who deals with Instagram. And they wrote that I am one of the few who does not appear in the media, but at the same time do not lose the love of the electorate. For me, this is also a pleasant moment. We come to Moscow for just a couple of months, but nevertheless, people do not forget. The guys from my fan group leave comments under the posts all the time. Naturally, this attention spurs.

As for all these ratings, I will not say that it gives me confidence. I am a very self-critical person, I will find a bunch of flaws and flaws in myself. But, apparently, it means that people cannot be fooled. I like it, it's cool. I really appreciate all this.

***

- When you first moved to America to your Zhenya, how difficult was it to get used to your new life? Here you had a job, loved ones, and there is only him. - It was difficult, especially in the first year. A new country, people, a language that at that time was not at the same level as it is now. Naturally, there was a certain barrier. Zhenya was constantly on the road, plus pregnancy, no one canceled hormones. It was very hard, there was not enough work. I reflected very hard on this at the time.

- In the hockey world, it is often discussed that you spend more time in Miami, and Eugene in Pittsburgh. Doesn't he take offense? - It's all not true. I don't understand where it came from at all. I heard that from someone too. Miami just has more opportunities to take cool photos. And even then, if you look at my instagram, then there are photos from Miami and Pittsburgh approximately equally. But people are strange. If Zhenya leaves for three weeks, then, naturally, my child and I will fly to Miami. We, in fact, bought apartments there for this. Plus Nikita goes to an American school there, learns the language.

- Anastasia Ovechkina told me that if she and Sasha go to the shopping mall to buy groceries, they will recognize him everywhere and ask to be photographed. Do you and Zhenya have the same situation in the USA and Russia? - As far as Pittsburgh and Moscow are concerned, Zhenya is one hundred percent recognizable. Going out somewhere and not taking a picture with someone is unrealistic. He's so reliable. Now, maybe because of the coronavirus, he is somewhere afraid, after all, he is responsible for his family.

At first, his recognition was a problem for me. When we started dating, I understood who he was, but did not imagine the extent of his popularity. Going out somewhere to eat so that no one stares at you is really difficult. I don’t remember that. But now we already know certain places, we can sit in a separate room in the restaurant in order to calmly spend time alone or with a family.

- Is it unrealistic for you to go to Gorky Park with your family in good weather? - Get out this way we'll get out. But it will definitely not work out there quietly.

- Is the situation in America the same? - Yes.

- When you first started dating, was it difficult for you to get used to the fact that the schedule of the second person should be put first and your life should be adjusted to his schedule? - Now it's harder for me to talk about it, because I've already forgotten my feelings, whims. I'm used to being adjusted to me. But everything was smooth. Yes, and I fell in love, I wanted to please him, create a comfortable atmosphere so that everything in our family would be good. Everything was calm, harmonious, without any hysterics. There were, of course, small ones (laughs) .

- And you are still in a foreign country, alone. - Yes. Zhenya supported me. Sometimes, however, it seemed to me that he was not doing it enough. But then it passed, there was a complete mutual understanding.

***

For a pleasant conversation, we quietly reach our destination. In the boutique, stylist Ruslan Shakurov is already waiting for us. He takes a tour of the store, shows him the bows he likes, and we go to the fitting room. For the broadcasts Ruslan picked up three pantsuits: bright yellow, beige and blue with stripes. By a collective decision, we choose the brightest - yellow. In it very soon Anna will appear on the air. At the exit from the store, she even admits: “I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really a little tired of shopping” (laughs) . We go to a nearby coffee shop to discuss some more interesting topics.

- The first question suggests itself. Are you a shopaholic at all? - Well, in general, like any normal girl, yes. I love it. Cheers up. It's always nice to pamper yourself.

- In quarantine, your husband posted a video of how he plays computer games. Do you mind? And does he not involve his son? - Absolutely all children play with gadgets: be it a phone, an iPad. Of course, there are limitations. But I cannot completely forbid. He still pays attention to his peers, to older guys who play. I try to offer alternatives, some interesting games. As for Zhenya, I am also calm. Each person has their own ways to relieve stress: someone needs to go for a drink, someone has a smoke, someone needs to play computer games. I don't see it going off scale. Plus, he communicates with many guys there, who, like him, play. Zhenya is not the only hockey player. If it relieves stress, for God's sake. This is not the worst thing that can be.

- You have repeatedly said that you have a difficult character, both of you and Zhenya are hot-tempered. How is it in your family after unsuccessful games? - I relatively recently caught up to the end what my husband experiences after unsuccessful matches. When around, perhaps, no one noticed his mistakes, but he knows to himself that he played badly. I had such a broadcast when I was left very unhappy with myself, but everyone around liked everything and no one said anything bad. I went out and was not at all, because I realized that I did not spend it as I could, and reflected on this for several more hours. Probably at that moment I compared myself to Zhenya and realized that it was difficult to find some words at that moment.

In general, my husband doesn't have many bad games. Zhenya always shows himself, in almost every game. But if the match was not very successful, I step aside, do not torment me with questions and conversations. We had dinner, he went to play a computer game or read a book. At such moments I try to just not go to him. A person needs to be alone, to come to his senses.

- You somehow teased each other in the comments of Instagram. Is it the same in life? - Constantly! This is our communication style. Of course, in some moments there is tenderness, warmth. But we often joke about each other, everything comes from his side. Moreover, Nikita is becoming more mature, and her husband begins to involve the child in his events. It's funny! In general, in our family you will not get bored.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with tatooedlaura (Laura Sprys)

Laura has 28 fics at Gossamer, but the big treasure trove of her stories is at AO3, where she has 193 fics. Thank goodness for the richness of the X-Files and for talented, creative people like Laura who can find so many interesting ways to tell tales in the show’s universe. Big thanks to Laura for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Maybe reading mine but reading older fic in general is something I still do and something I still find entertaining. I do wish i could get into my old fics and post a warning that some of those were written before the author: ever had a drink, ever had sex, ever had a boyfriend, ever lived on her own, ever had a real job, or ever experienced much of anything in the real world.

Then again, fanfic is a perfect time capsule for the age and it’s always fun to see where the originals started and how they’ve grown.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Back in the day and up and through today, it has always been a fun experience. From it, I’ve learned to love writing. I’ve learned that fans are crazy, weird, wonderful, generous, talented, committed, passionate, and imaginative. In a fandom, you can think whatever you wish and write about anything you like and because I’ve been around so long, I’ve gotten to watch the storylines shift and the relationships change ...

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Originally, I never had much interaction with people other than ones who sent emails commenting on my fanfic … the internet at my parents house was dial-up and I had to access through the AOL free disks that arrived in the mail so, for the most part, I didn’t have the bandwidth or the connection speed to do more than upload stories and download episode guides.

Good lord, I remember submitting a story and having to wait upwards of two days to two weeks before the new batch of stories was posted ... then ephemeral came around and you could actually have your story up in under a day ... all ya'll who started on tumblr and ao3, you have it great, let me tell you :)

One thing that stands out in my mind still (and I’m still friends with her on Facebook) was a woman from western Canada who I stumbled across somewhere while looking for the blooper reels. She offered to send me her copies on VHS for my collection. I don’t think she asked for payment and one day, a package arrived from a lovely woman near Lethbridge, bloopers playable, tapes labeled in clear printing. I still appreciate that 20 some odd years later :)

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Fandoms are crazy places. Tread lightly at first but enjoy what you want, ignore what you don’t, rewrite what you hate, and write what you love. Don’t be an asshole when you don’t agree with someone … when you do, tell them …

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was on board from the first episode. It was a show about two people who you felt were destined to be together but weren’t, and wouldn’t be for years. It was a cop show about aliens and a monster show with cops. I was in the right place at the right time in the right frame of mind and there was just something that clicked and I never looked back. Friends were not allowed to call me on Friday night and once it switched to Sunday, I made sure that my parents got us on early evening bowling league so we’d be home in time to watch. Even my boyfriend (eventual husband) knew to shut the hell up from 9-10pm, even if he was sitting next to me on the couch (with my parents in their chairs watching as well)

Also, my 56-year-old dad had a crush on Scully from the start so that was entertaining as hell as well

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I have been writing stories in my head for literally as long as I can remember. Watching some episode, I honestly don’t remember which one, I suddenly had an idea for a story about Mulder and Scully. I had never written a story with pre-existing characters before and it was totally foreign to me. How do you write a character with a current storyline. It was weird, it was difficult, it was some of the most fun I’d had writing up to that point.

Suddenly, I didn’t have to explain or describe the characters, think of jobs and mundane things … they already had those … and it was great.

Honest-to-God, my first fic was written, in pencil, on a yellow legal pad by flashlight while lying with my head at the foot of my bed so I could see my parents coming down the hall if they happened to wake up at midnight to go to the bathroom. Later fics were written by the light of an 10” TV/VCR combo with me still lying with my head at the foot of the bed. I still have those old legal pads somewhere and I remember having to type them in secret, having to wait until the house was empty for 20 minutes to an hour at a time. Uploading them was always unnerving because of the slow dial-up and the fact that I didn’t have my own email address, but had to use my dad’s. I’d have to make sure to check it whenever I could, intercept the feedback I’d get off gossamer.

I was such a damn rebel.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Well, I now know how to interact with people given tumblr and AO3 but it hasn’t changed much. I contribute a little more now that I understand posting on social media but mostly, I still just write like a fiend and post, read voraciously and give kudos and likes often, comment some and reblog.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I dabbled and have a favorite ‘Fringe’ fic … I tried to read a Harry Potter fic once … I type ‘West Wing’ occasionally in ao3 and tumblr ...

And nothing, absolutely nothing, has ever caught me like the X-Files did in regards to the fandom experience.

I have shows I watch and re-watch and re-watch but no two characters have ever had me writing and thinking and planning like Mulder and Scully. No other combo has ever made me write upwards of 300,000 or more total and still have plenty of stories to tell.

I’m okay with this.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Aside from Mulder and Scully and the gentlemen three of Frohike, Langley, and Byers … I love all Scully’s nieces and nephews in my ‘Life’ series … I also love Corduroy (picture books), Harold (purple crayon fame), Neville Longbottom, the characters from my own novels, Katniss (book not movie), Anne Shirley, Elnora (from the Limberlost), Will Stanton/Merriman/Barney/Jane from ‘Dark is Rising’ and 10,459 others …

I’m a children’s librarian so most of my favorite books are those written for the younger and YA crowd. I like my job :)

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I watch this show all the damn time. I will think about Mulder and Scully when I have nothing else to think about, normally writing and editing whatever story I may have in the hopper at the time about them.

My husband laughs when I have the show on. He knows all the episodes with me and it’s one of my comfort shows that I don’t have to pay attention to when it’s on. During it, I have edited books, decorated cookies, been sick, been recovering, simply wasted a perfectly good day because I could.

My 17-year-old daughter keeps it on while she does homework and works out.

It’s a staple at our house and no one is allowed to make fun of it, even though we all know that parts are completely ‘make fun-able’

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I read fic all the time … I have worked my way through AO3 starting from the beginning and if it was more easily readable on a phone, I’d work my way, once again, through gossamer.

Restated from above: I dabbled and have a favorite ‘Fringe’ fic … I tried to read a Harry Potter fic once … I type ‘West Wing’ occasionally in ao3 and tumblr ...

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I have all kinds of favorites on tumblr but right now, I honestly don’t remember most of the names … I pretty much read everything that comes through my dashboard and every few days, i read through the newest posts on AO3 … I love you all!!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Of X-Files fics, I love my newer stuff … I read “Life” and its sequels every few months … ‘Your Place or Mine’ is another one I will read … actually, I’ll just say it .... I read all my own fic over and over again …

With fic, you get to write the characters as you want to see them and write situations that you want to see … I write for myself most of all and I love to read what I wrote :)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I write them all the damn time. I have tons of snippets and half-finished that I occasionally glean things from but while sometimes, old stuff morphs into new, sometimes, it just needs to gather that dust and live a quiet little forgotten life in some backhand folder on my dropbox account ...

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

First question is answered above.

As for other creative work, I have published two YA novels, have the third in that series in editing … I have five other novels in the hopper in various stages of ‘good lord this needs an edit or twelve’ …

I am writing things constantly in my head or on my laptop … most is crap … stome sticks … some turns into fic and some turns into books …

But the point is, I am writing, in some form, at all time :)

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Some two sentence conversation will spark an idea … the line of a song will inspire an idea … a word will start a sentence which will turn into a paragraph which will tumble straight into a story … and sometimes, stuff just pops in my head for no damn reason at all ...

What's the story behind your pen name?

On gossamer, I am L. Sprys because that was my name at the time :)

On tumblr and AO3, I’m tatooedlaura because my name is Laura and I have, now, six tattoos (yes, I spelled it wrong in my handle but that’s life) … when I decided on the name, I think I only had two

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

They do now … it took me years to crack and tell them … my husband has never read them, nor have any of the people I have told (as far as I know)

Now, I don’t really care who knows … I’ll tell them I write smutty X-Files fanfiction and family-friendly X-Files fanfiction …

I am too old at this point to be embarrassed by what I like to do. If they laugh at me, I tell them they only get to laugh when they’ve published a book and I pull up my books on Amazon … I’ve only had to do that once and it shut them right the hell up …

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Gossamer: L. Sprys

Tumblr and AO3: tatooedlaura

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I love you! I see you! I appreciate you! I hope you enjoy! Don’t judge me for my grammar issues! I will never be able to spell the word ‘excersize’!

(Posted by Lilydale on April 27, 2021)

[imanativeofswlondondahling]

Becoming A Stark (14)- Peter Parker x Stark! femReader

Word Count: 1869

Warning: Swearing

Author’s Note: So we’ve hit the half way point I think (I think I did my math right lol). Also I loved doing the field trip chapters! I wanted to do something more fun before we get into the Spider-Man Homecoming Chapters which will start next! Let me know what you think and if you want to be added to the tag list!

Chapter One || Previous Chapter || Master List

“So is this what you do every day?” You ask Pepper as you sit in the chair next to her desk. Your hand fidgets with the medical alert bracelet on your right wrist, needing to fiddle with something.

“Goodness no. Every day changes. But it’s a lot of meetings and lunches, paperwork, press conferences, things like that. And about 90% of it is redirecting your dad when he gets on a tangent.” Pepper says with a smile. 

“What…” You let your sentence drift off, not wanting to voice your question.

“What….?” She prods slightly, but doesn’t push like your dad would.

“What if I decide I don’t want to run the company? Like everyone keeps telling me it’s my name on the building and stuff but what if I don’t want to ascend to my birth right or whatever?”

“I’m not a Stark.” Pepper states.

“Yeah but you and my dad are basically going to get married one day and then you will be.” It’s not that much of a secret that your dad wants to marry Pepper, he just hasn’t asked yet.

“Well... yes, but that’s not the point I was trying to make. The point is that you don’t have to be a Stark to run the company. When you turn twenty one, should you decide that running the company is not for you, you would just pick another CEO, or I can keep running the company if that is where we are depending on what happens seven years from now.”

“Would my dad hate it if I didn’t step into it?”

“You know your dad chose to step away from running the company right?” You nod. It was big news when Tony Stark had stepped down from CEO. Nana and Pops had talked about it for like a week when it happened. “He wouldn’t judge you or love you any less for choosing to do the same thing. He wants you to be happy. First and foremost. He’s already looking towards which schools have the best English Lit programs because he knows that his pull at MIT is going to have nothing for you. He doesn’t expect you to be him. He wants you to be better than him.”

“But he’s Tony Stark. He’s Iron Man. How can I be better than that?” You ask.

“Quite easily actually. Tony Stark, Iron Man, psshh. They’ve let a lot of people down.” Tony’s voice enters the room. “Honestly there’s probably even one of those Buzzfeed articles about the top ten ways that Tony Stark has let down people.”

“Tony.” Pepper’s voice alone tells you she disagrees, but Tony ignores it and continues.

“But you, Y/N Stark, you have the chance to do anything in the world. And you will make me a proud dad by doing that. You don’t have to do anything with the company if you don’t want to and I will be completely happy with that you know why? Because you are my daughter. And that’s the only thing I need to make me happy.” He places a kiss on the top of your head. “That and doing whatever it takes to keep Pep here happy.” He smiles at her across the desk.

“What would keep me happy is if you actually met your deadlines.” She teases. 

“I’m right on schedule. Ahead some might even say.”

“Some might, but would I?” She raises an eyebrow as she pushes some papers onto a different pile.

“I’d rather not sleep on the couch tonight so I’m going to go with I’m on schedule today.” Pepper rolls her eyes at that. 

“So then, what made you come all the way up to the office that you despise?”

“Other than the fact that my two favorite people are here?”

“You sound like you’re just trying to distract Pepper, Dad.” You tease him, knowing he had to have some motive, because Pepper was right. Dad hated the CEO office, even if the two of you were in it.

“I was making sure the two of you take a break for lunch. Especially since your class is heading down for lunch and I figured since your friends are there, you might want to join them.”

“And because my friends are there, you want to join them and embarrass me.”

“I’m just making sure you eat lunch.” He throws his hands up, trying to show you he comes in peace.

“You hardly ever eat lunch when you’re supposed to.” Pepper points out, but she knows that keeping you on a schedule is important with keeping your basals on a good schedule. “But Tony does make a good point that we should get some lunch for you. And how often do we get to have lunch as a family?”

“You don’t have like a lunch meeting or something?” You ask, surprised that Pepper isn’t running off to some fancy luncheon.

“Not today. Today I can take an actual lunch with my two favorite Starks.” She smiles standing up and walking to the other side of her desk. Tony’s arm wraps around her waist, pulling her in close. He places a kiss on her cheek.

“Lunch is my treat.” Tony teases. “Let’s go!”

“Lunch is free for any employees or family of the employees.” Pepper explains rolling her eyes as the three of you walk towards the elevator. 

“FRI take us to the cafeteria.”

“Sure thing boss.” The elevator takes you down the twenty floors and as you walk out the doors you see your friends sitting at tables.

“I’ll get you food. Go sit with your friends.” Tony kisses the top of your head as he walks over to get food with Pepper. You make your way over to where Astrid, Betty, Liz, Ned, Peter, and a girl that you think her name is Michelle sit. There’s still a couple open seats at the table so your dad and Pepper will be able to join too.

“Y/N!” Betty and Astrid call your name out as you sit down.

“Are you ok?” Betty’s concern is voiced quickly.

“I’m fine, I came back into range before Peter joined back up with the group.” You explain taking the empty seat next to Peter, who already knew all of this.

“Then why didn’t you come back to the group? Your dad told Mr. Shah there were important Stark matters.”

“I’m spending the rest of the field trip with Pepper. Dad thinks it makes more sense for me to learn about what she does since I’m supposed to take over the company one day then to learn the public tour side of things.” You shrug. “Although I’m not sure how much of Pepper’s job is public knowledge so I’m not sure what my report about what I learned at SI will be about.”

“Just take a page out of your dad’s twitter and write you know who I am. Short, sweet and to the point.” Michelle says not even looking up from her book.

“I think that would be hilarious but I don't think I’d pass with that. And I need a passing grade so I don’t have to take biology over again.” You explain. “I’m Y/N by the way.”

“My friends call me MJ.” The dark haired girl explains.

“I thought you didn’t have any friends?” Ned questions.

“She has at least one.” You defend quickly, sensing something about this girl that you like. MJ and Ned both look up at you, but Peter just shakes his head like he should have seen this coming. What he didn’t see coming, was Tony and Pepper coming to sit with a group of teens. 

Tony sits in the seat next to you, placing a tray of food in front of you, before acknowledging the silence that has fallen over the table. “Yes yes I know it is shocking. Pepper Potts, CEO. She is just as amazing in person and you think she would be.” He flashes a smile at the table and you roll your eyes.

“I think you all probably know my obnoxious dad. And this, as he mentioned is Pepper. She is amazing.” You can’t help but agree with your dad on that one. “Dad, Pepper, you know Betty, Astrid, and Peter of course. Then we have Liz, Ned, and MJ.” You gesture around the table before finally looking at the food in front of you. Pasta with spinach and cheese, some fruit, a brownie, and… “Another green juice?” You look at your dad.

“Chef Louis makes the best green juice.” You dad says taking a sip of his own.

“Good for him. I already had my one for the day.”

“Think of it as balancing out the soda from earlier.”

“It wasn’t like I went out of my way to have a soda. I was dying.”

“And now we’re going to give your body something better.” You roll your eyes. 

“Pepper help me out?” You plead.

“He’s pretty set on this one.” Peppe says as she lifts her own glass from the other side of Tony. “This one tastes different than the ones he makes in the mornings though.”

“You know I thought the paparazzi was the worst part of being a Stark. But it’s the fucking green juice obsession in this family.” There’s a burst of laughter from next to you. “Something funny Parker?” 

“Absolutely nothing funny Y/N.” He says lifting a soda to his own lips.

“You not going to make your intern get on the green juice trend?” You ask your dad.

“He’s not my kid. You are.”

“I’ll trade you.” You offer the glass to Peter.

“If you give her the glass that has as much sugar as a Snicker’s, I’ll ban you from all labs for a week.” Tony’s voice drops an octave.

“You not going to just blast him with your gauntlet?” You tease.

“That’s saved for bad guys and boyfriends.” Betty and Astrid look at you with a look that you can read to see that they understand what you meant about trying to get a Homecoming date now.

“See if I tell you when I get a boyfriend then.”

“Remind me to tell FRIDAY to lock you in the brownstone until you're 25 then.” Tony teases back.

“Pepper’ll save me.” You say, sure that Pepper will reign him in before he could even get this far. 

“I got your back.” She responds with a smile. As you put the carbs into Queenie, the conversation picks up around you. Your dad starts talking to Peter about some missing part of a calculation for one of the many projects they were working on. Betty and Astrid are talking to Pepper about what it’s like to be CEO and you’ve fallen into listening to your two worlds falling back into one. You even take a sip of the green juice and shouldn’t be surprised that it’s not that bad. To be honest, it’s even better than the one you get in the mornings. But you won’t let your dad know that. But of course he notices anyway.

“Told you it was good.”

“Never said it was good. It just didn’t kill me.”

“Sure kiddo. Whatever you say.”

Becoming A Stark Tag list: @persephonehemingway  @iamaunicorn4704  @furiouspockettoad  @daughter-of-stark  @eternalharry  @huntective-kyeo @riiis-stuff @sunnyoongles @cosmicqueenieb @sovereignparker @bbarnestan @teenwishes08 @iamthescarlettwitch

Permanent tag list: @wormonastringonastick

[1-800-seo]

1-800-𝗦𝗘𝖮'𝘀 𖣘 "𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 (𝗨𝗻𝗶)𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲"

- 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝖩𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗑 𝖸/𝖭

- 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿/𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗄/𝖻𝗎𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗍𝖾𝖽/𝖾2𝗅/𝖼𝗈𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗀𝖾 𝖠𝖴

- 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 (𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌), 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗋𝗒, 𝖽𝗈𝗆!𝗃𝗄 𝗂𝖿 𝗎 𝗌𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗇𝗍, 𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌

- 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀: 2984

- 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗋𝗒 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗑𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗉 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗈𝗇𝖾'𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗍𝖾'𝗌 𝗀𝗈 𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗄, 𝖺 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗎𝖾𝗌, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖾𝗇𝖺𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝗈𝗋𝗄.

doing laundry is absolutely one of your least favourite things in the world beside soggy socks

so you’re in a bad mood as soon as you walk into the campus launderette to say the least

the launderette is empty bar one dude you’d seen around the global technics centre

if you remember rightly he’s a European studies major

odd choice but you do you and all that

now you’re not weird or anything but you have a preference on what type of washing machine you use

I know I know kind of unorthodox

but the old washing machines take 30 mins longer so you’d prefer a newer one

unfortunately the only one left is directly next to this familiar-faced stranger and his laundry

your better judgement is telling you no but your impatience is telling you yes

and so you dump your laundry onto the floor next to the stranger and his and start sorting through for all your whites

your piles mingle a tad as they overlap beside each other like Venn diagrams of assorted underwear and other garments

his consisting of only whites

yours a jumbled mess since you had to wash all of your stuff

in sync you both pick up your washing and put it into the machine

you catch his dark wide eyes as you both straighten up and he lets out an awkward low-voiced giggle

your cheeks immediately flush pink and a bashful smile creeps up to your lips

“you’re from the global centre, right?”

you ask testing the waters

“I am, I’m a European studies major, my name’s Jungkook. I recognise you, you’re in linguistics class right?”

“Yeah, I’m a linguistics major so you’ll mostly see me there, it’s nice to meet you Jungkook”

you say with a smile as your hands fidget with the door handle of the washing machine

“It’s nice to meet you too, I thought I recognised you from somewhere, but it’s because I see you sometimes when I have to do extra credit European language projects. What’s your name?”

he says tilting his head like a curious puppy

“its ______”

you say as you bow to him politely

“Can I ask you something? I have to do a project on European languages and their similarities to others. The professor wants us to speak to outsiders for references so would I be able to collab on a project with you sometime in the future, if it’s not too much to ask?”

he averts his eyes from yours and blushes lightly

“Oh yeah sure, that’s no issue! It’ll be beneficial to me too because the linguistics portion of the course is coming up soon, so it’s a great idea.”

you beam at him

“Could I get your number?”

their is a pause that feels like an eternity between your next words and his last

the cause of this is your mind being far too focused on his wavy dark hair and his clear doe eyes

you snap out of your daze

“yeah totally, one sec”

you pull out your phone from your backpack on top of the washing machine and input his contact name and number as he reads it out

“Thanks for that, it’ll be a big help, let me know when you want to link up” he replies

and with that you had his number and continued on with your washing

21/10 18:32

Jungkook ༄ : not to be accusatory but do you happen to own a pair of RED socks?

You: yes, why do you ask??

Jungkook ༄ : well ALL of my washing seems to be PINK!!

You: just because I own a pair of red socks doesn’t mean it was me 😠

Jungkook ༄ : yes but you were the only one in the launderette when I was there,,

Jungkook ༄ : smh gonna be turning up to class in pink tshirts and and socks, everyone be thinking ive made a new fashion choices when it’s really just because SOMEONE can’t keep their clothes separate from others B/

You: 1) it’s not my fault that my socks decided to migrate to new lands

You: 2) why, are you scared of pink or something? your ego too fragile to wear a ‘woman’s colour’?

You: 3) did you really use a sunglasses sad face emoticon lol

Jungkook ༄ : girl u owe me big time for all these clothes you ruined 😩

Jungkook ༄ : also im not scared of pink I just dont want to be wearing pink shirts to all of my formal events for the next ten years

Jungkook ༄ : and yes im sWaG so my emoticons are sWaG duh

You : ruined? ruINED? RUINED? I did not ruin anything, I simply spiced up your wardrobe boo x

You : oh no he’s a 2012 hype beast 🤦🏻‍♀️

Jungkook ༄ : how dare you call me something so sacreligious as a hypebeast!!

Jungkook ༄ : I am gucci not channel thank you very much

Jungkook ༄ : anyways I gtg write a report, speak soon red socks

Seen ✓

Jungkook was in fact not writing a report

he was planning revenge dun dun dun~~~

his plan was to do the exact same thing you had done to him

but he had to be cunning about it

and so the week went on

he was scrolling through twt when he received a new follower

it was the one and only @_______

and lo and behold their last tweet was “tysm Seokjin oppa for buying me a personal washing machine,, now I can do my most hated thing but at home!!”

hehehe

an idea sprung into kookie’s head

he didn’t have to try and spike your washing at the launderette

he could do it in a place you’d never suspect,, your home

now he only had to find out where you lived

just stalkerish tingz

he had to be lowkey about this

so he decided to ask his best mate and social butterfly of a friend Taehyung whether he knew you

and of course he did lol

“Hell yeah I know where she lives, she had the best party of the whole term, Jimin was so drunk he started chatting himself up in the mirror”

“Damn that sounds like a good time, probs should start going to these parties you invite me to”

“defo should, anyways I’ll tell u as long as you promise not to spread the information or use it for pervy or questionable reasons”

“I promise not to spread it or use it for pervy or questionable reasons”

he replies in monotone voice and his hand on his chest like an oath

and so that was how he acquired your address

simple enough really

and so that’s the events that lead him to be crawling through your dorm window however paused like a deer in headlights at the questionable sounds coming from the room across

he was squatted on the window ledge like spider man, red sock in hand and hood up

it was 9:00pm and your university apartment was supposed to be empty at this time

you had your class on now but he hadn’t accounted for your roommate

hence why he had frozen at the unsavoury sounds echoing round the apartment

low moans and grunts emanated from the room across

dEsGöStEn

he had to get to the kitchen without alerting the dusk time love makers

he could do it if the floor plan was the same as his apartment block and he bet his reputation on that

if he got caught he’d never hear the end of it from his mates and your roommate might even call the campus police if they were spooked enough

and so he clambered through your bedroom window and onto your bed underneath

unmade bed might he add but what did he expect from a uni student

with wide eyes he listened for any noise of suspecting roommates and examined your room

the desk was littered with papers and an oversized lava lamp stood stout in the corner of the room

a lacy bra was hung over your wardrobe handle

he shoved away the idea of you wearing it and continued with his night time plot

slowly and stealthily he crept through the halls of the apartment and out to the kitchen

on the maiden was already a neatly hung load of whites

he’d have to assume it was yours otherwise he’d have to go back to your room to get laundry

he bundled up the clothes and shoved them in the washing machine with the incriminating red sock he’d brought and set it to economy spin

round and round it spun, getting progressively louder as it went

he had to get out of there asap

tip-toeing as he went past the questionable lewd noises, he finally made it to your bedroom

he made one last check to see if he’d left any damage in your room

his eyes fell upon that same bra

damn his manhood making him think predictably

he shoved the thought away and departed

25/10 22:08

You: what in the hell did you do to my washing!!!?!!!

You: unless it was a ghost it HAD TO BE YOU JEON 🤬

Jungkook ༄ : wym I don’t even know where you live 😑

Jungkook ༄ : what’ve you done now?

You: IT HAS TO BE YOU!! SOMEONE FRIGGIN TURNED MY WASHING PINK AND I PROMISE YOU IT WASNT ME

Jungkook ༄ : how would i do that?? I don’t have like magic clothes dyeing skills boo

You: I SWEAR it was you!!

You: what do you want to bet it was u

Jungkook ༄ : I won’t bet anything I’m poor

You: that means you did it!

Jungkook ༄ : if you come with me to Taehyung’s party tomorrow I’ll tell u everything

Jungkook ༄ : but only if you go, that’s the terms of agreement

You: that’s all the incriminating evidence I need!! you basically just admitted to it you know?

You: however for reasons sake I will attend 👀

Jungkook ༄ : see you then red socks x

You: I suppose u will x

time passed quickly and soon it was Taehyung’s party

You’d known Taehyung since middle school however since starting college you hadn’t seen much of him

schedules clashed often so the only time you got to see him was at a good party

nothing wrong with that, you just probably haven’t had a completely sober conversation with him in 2 years

he’s good fun, Taehyung, so you hoped Jungkook wasn’t as much as a killjoy as he’d been this week

his little antics (that you’d yet to figure out) had caused your work uniform to turn bright pink

and thus the ‘pink princess’ nickname at work began

you felt like sharpay, everyone in white, but you pink

you’d quite like to knock Jungkook down a peg after that

and so you made your way to the infamous Taehyung’s party

he welcomed you as you entered the large door of his fraternity house

behind his head of black curls you could see the mess that is a raging college party

young people, at assumably different levels of intoxication, were everywhere

some were stood all the way up the expanse of the stairs even

you looked around and spotted a familiar brunette in the kitchen sat on the large marble counter tops

he’s chatting to some pink haired girl beside him

you stalk up to him like a woman on a mission and jokingly (a little too hard for jokingly) push his shoulders with both hands

he immediately snaps his head round to face you and his eyes widen with shock

“I have a bone to pick with you.” you say as stern as you can

you grab hold a fistful of his black T-shirt and drag him into a side room

once you enter only then do you realise it’s a laundry room

how fitting 👀

you say “Come on, tell me how you did it.” as you cross your arms and glare at him

“Did what?”

“you know what I mean, don’t play dumb with me, how did you turn all of my washing pink, and might I add, my work uniform too!”

“Ohhh that, it was far too easy. You really should keep your windows locked when you’re out.” he says as he laughs, like the whole thing is amusing

“So you’re telling me you broke into my apartment?! How did u know where I live??”

at this point you’re pacing around the room, arms flailing wide at the sudden discovery

“Well, I may or may not have asked Taehyung, and he told me, and then I entered, I did not break into your apartment. Anyway, I didn’t touch anything but the washing machine and I had the lovely experience of being serenaded by your roommate’s sex symphony.”

he made a step forward towards you, almost in a challenging way

“Oh I’ll be having harsh words with him later...” you say as you uncross your arms and put them on your hips.

you stand thinking for a second before it sinks in

“Wait.. what did you hear? You said sex symphony, right?”

“Uh yeah, your roommate was proper going at it with someone. At least he had the decency to do it whilst you were out, I guess.” He chuckled

“Oh my days, that means Hobi must’ve had Hyerim round! Go him I guess, but also ewww”

“Anyways we’ve bounced around the issue enough here, you ruined my clothes and broke into my apartment!” you exclaim backing up against the wall

Jungkook starts to close the gap between you two

“So? What’re you going to do about?”

your back pressed flush with the wall, you start to realise how close he really is

you can see the small freckles that dot the bridge of his nose, the thick eyelashes that frame his eyelids, the totally sinful look in his eyes

like this you start to realise how shockingly handsome he is

no wonder he has a slight reputation in class

you had no idea why he was looking at you this way

“I-I’ll call campus security..” You begin

“Will you really now?” he retorts as he slams his hand into the wall behind you, caging you in

“I w-will” a whisper that falls on deaf ears

before you even register, his lips have attached themselves to yours and you feel his thumb under your jaw

he works his lips against yours and you feel your legs start to tremble

he tastes sweet and robust, like syrup on your tastebuds

you mould into his kiss and then break away, panting for air, wanting more

everything felt so wrong, yet so right at the same time

it was as if your current issue had melted away and the only thing you could focus on was the way he looked at you and how his soft lips felt against yours

“J-Jungkook? What’re we doing?” you asked, a giggle leaving you

you rest your head against chest, clasping at his tshirt

“I couldn’t resist, you’re so hot when you’re angry”

he places a firm kiss against your cheek, takes your hand in his, and leads you back to the party

you couldn’t believe you’d just done that, let him kiss you so easily

but once you let him, it felt so right, like it was supposed to be that way, him lapping you up like a parched man to water

it felt so natural to have his arm round your waist like it was now

the pair of you approached Taehyung, still clutched together

“What happened to you two? I heard _____ went off on one and then you both were missing for ages. And now you both show up all over each other... what went down 👀”

“Well you know, hate and love are both forms of passion.” Jungkook says with a smirk

“excuse me? Assuming I love you? I let you kiss me once and you say it’s love? I’ll show you love” you retort

“Oooh she’s feisty; so you kissed? Damn, things’re moving quickly for you two, one minute Jungkook’s asking me for your address, the next you’re sucking each other’s faces off. I’m one of hell of a wing man, if I do say so myself.”

Taehyung flips an imaginary lock of hair out of his way like a sassy high school cheerleader

You both just laugh, at Taehyung, and because of how crazy it is,

It’s almost like you didn’t know you liked him like that until it smacked you in the face

“Do you want a drink? A beer?” Jungkook asks pouring himself a glass of punch

“That’d be great, thank you” you reply as you realise how much more time you want to spend with this annoying but totally handsome dork of a boy

༄ 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀! ༄

This was just a little fic I wrote a while ago which had formatting errors so I fixed it for y’alI, Hope you enjoyed it ☺️ Let me know what you thought of it and feel free to like and reblog <3