#Also can I confess that first panel did so much damage to me

[stayininmylane]

Healy has two lines of dialogue and I'm absolutely obsessed with him. It's embarrassing.

At least Morgan had an entire conversation >____< I mean bro...

...Ok that's not fair actually, Healy has his own connections to the main plot and is the near sole focus of one of Carl's most heart-wrenching episodes in the whole series, while Morgan was adopted and has 5 different colors on her outfit.

...still, I love them both as much as Carl himself, which I find very funny considering Healy will appear in 5 episodes max and we will never see Morgan again.

[psychewritesbs]

Hii~~ greetings from Argentina oh juremos con gloria a morir~~

Question, do you have any hcs/ assumptions of what Touji’s early life in the clan was like? Cause I’d like to hear you out🥺

HOLA my dear CABAnon ♥ ¡Al gran pueblo Argentino, saludsita! 🍻

hcs about this man you ask...

Why I'm happy to bs about it under the cut mwahaha.

BUT FIRST... clarification:

I'm actually more of a daddy Sukuna stan... literally no one asked you, v.

Or basically how I just love this panel of Sukuna and GO. BACK. TO. YOUR BODY ALREADY DAMMIT!

Also, in case people have not noticed, I have such an obsession with Megumi that I sleep on any arc where he's not front and center. It's, literally, a #thing I am afflicted by.

So I must confess I don't spend a lot of time thinking about anyone else in this darn manga and most people who send me asks haven't realized yet how much of a fraud I am LOL.

So, no, I spend absolutely no time thinking about Toji's swag.

Zero time thinking about his sexy back.

Nope.

Sorry not sorry Toji, but...

Ok he's KINDA sexy. kinda.

So to answer your ask I pulled panels that I think might say something about Toji and then mixed it all with my perhaps unrealistic hc that Toji was actually quite the domestic daddy. It just so happened to be that Megumi-mama's death broke him.

Basically Toji is such a tragic character.

I am no longer who I used to be

So first there's defo a clear delineation in how Toji perceives himself. The person he was before he took the Fushiguro last name, Zenin Toji, and Fushiguro Toji.

And remember, names have power because they define your sense of self. ngl I love that my name is victoria.

I think there's some disagreement as to who was Fushiguro, whether Megumi's mom or Tsumiki's mom, but I personally prefer the idea that it was Megumi's mom.

My perspective, I'll admit, is a bit romanticized, it's just that Toji is always shown as being sentimental about Megumi and Megumi-mama.

So I like the idea that he took the Fushiguro last name because it was Megumi's mom's. I feel like in his head this also served the purpose of hiding himself and leaving behind the person he used to be. That is not to mention that it would also help keep Megumi a secret from the Zenin.

Self-sabotage runs in the family

I get the sense that Toji internalized all of the toxic masculinity of the Zenin household and expressed it by being a complete fuck up.

I get the sense that Toji was so disillusioned with life that he just allowed himself to become the worst version of himself until he met Megumi's mom.

He was also a womanizer, which implies that he knew he was good looking or was attractive to others and probably used that to his advantage.

Toji, truly was, irredeemable.

Just appalling behavior, really.

But I think that's part of Toji's tragedy, that just like Megumi, Toji did not grow up in an environment that was conducive to fostering one's best self. It's like a testament of how damaging extreme psychological attitudes like the ones held by the Zenin can poison the psyche and the sense of self and severely limit its ability to self-actualize.

In that sense, Toji and Megumi (more specifically Megumi) are examples of breaking the cycle of trauma from abuse. It's all about generational trauma getting passed on generation after generation until someone can break the curse.

So yeah, we gotta talk about everybody's favorite toxic family, the Kardashians Zenin.

The Zenin

Now, the irony of the Zenin is that their last name is a literal allusion to a family that is "Zen". And what is Zen if not mindfulness?

Quite the contrary, the Zenin, as an institution within Jujutsu society, epitomize everything that is wrong with Jujutsu Society: misogyny, toxic masculinity, corruption.

There's this really "cute" platitude, something about "bloom where you're planted."

And I believe you can bloom where you're planted. But when the very soil that is the basis for your sense of self is poisoned, well, the way you bloom is going to be a little poisoned.

So I imagine Toji's behavior was a sort of open defiance to the pressure to perform and conform to the unrealistic expectation his family held of him.

For that reason, I think the fact that he's a direct descendant of the previous head of the Zenin clan is a big fucking deal. Like, how are you going to be the son of the clan's head and not even be able to use Cursed Energy?

The nerve!

In other words, if he couldn't be accepted for who he was, what was the point in trying? Why not just give up altogether and be a complete and utter fuck up?

This portion of the post was sponsored by red wine. Thank you red wine.

Sorcerer Killer

Is it a collective headcanon or canon that Toji started killing sorcerers as a way to impose his sense of self against the injustice of being rejected for not having the same abilities as sorerers?

I'm assuming someone said "I'll pay you" and he said "sure ok" and he just became known as the person to go to if you wanted to kill a sorcerer.

Like father, like son

This epic panel...

Is a testament to how broken Fushiguro Toji is.

How does a father forget his son? Or more like... how does a father make himself forget he has a son he would rather forget he has?

Anyways, this reads to me like psychological suppression. And I have to wonder how much Toji had to resort to suppressing himself and his thoughts while growing up in the Zenin household.

Yeah you could take the panel at face value, or you can take the whole context of Toji's backstory and the environment he grew up in, + the tragedy of Megumi Mama's death, and wonder whether Toji cared so much about Megumi that he knew the best thing for him was to not be in his life.

He's a fuck up, right? Worst of the worst. So what's better than abandoning his child with someone else who is capable of caring for him the way he can't?

That's a lot of self-awareness on Toji's behalf if you ask me.

I just get the sense that Toji does not see himself as a "good" person and doesn't care to prove anyone wrong about it.

Toji had to learn to control his strength

Like... what if something as simple as splitting chopsticks is something that requires a lot of finesse and concentration for Toji? Makes me wonder if Toji had to learn to regulate his strength.

Toji is utterly unimpressed

Due to the word choice in the panel above, I have to wonder about how Toji perceives most people who can use cursed energy.

In other words, he's completely unimpressed with most sorcerers and their abilities because he has found he can overpower the vast majority of them with raw strength alone.

Think of it this way, he's the direct descendant of the head of the Zenin clan and is considered an anomaly and a failure due to his inability to use Cursed Energy, right?

Now...

If, in the words of a Zenin, the Zenin clan exists because of Toji's whim, that tells me that the Zenin feared Toji's physical prowess even if they did not acknowledge him.

It tells me Toji was perhaps unafraid to demonstrate his strength in order to gain respect from others in a similar way Maki did during the Perfect Preparation arc.

But for some reason Toji never quite did anything about it and instead decided to leave the clan.

I wondered for a sec whether Naobito perhaps defeated him but then I remembered how easily Toji took on Dagon compared to Naobito struggling.

I think what's sad about it is that after going to such lengths, Toji still found himself as the clan's reject.

In a sense, even if he could wipe out the clan, it wouldn't achieve being accepted and acknowledged as a human by them. And honestly, I can't say for sure that he wanted to be accepted and cherished by the Zenin, but the human need to belong is incredibly powerful.

So to see him call himself a monkey in spite of what he's able to accomplish shows how deep that wound runs.

To see his endless plight to validate himself in a world that denied him the belonging he most likely desperately sought...

And it's a real tragedy just how damaged Toji's self esteem is and how growing up in the Zenin clan completely destroyed his self-esteem.

Which brings us back full circle to...

I am no longer who I used to be + Megumi-Mama

Fudge me.

I know you specifically asked about Toji's early life in the clan but I find myself unable to write about Toji without addressing the clear delineation of who Zenin Toji was before he became Fushiguro Toji.

Again, this is assuming that Megumi's mom was the one with the Fushiguro last name, which I don't think Gege has confirmed.

But there's just something about how Toji was changed from his meeting Megumi's mom and Megumi's birth.

If Zenin Toji was unafraid to impose his will in order to validate himself through raw strength, we can assume from the panels above that Fushiguro Toji became someone whose priorities were reorganized when he met Megumi's mom.

Perhaps for the first time in his life he saw a reason to become the better version of himself and then he had that taken from him.

Breaking the curse of intergenerational trauma

Last but not least, Toji passes the torch onto Megumi...

I love that even though Toji had set out for Megumi to be sold to the Zenin clan because he thought it was the best for him, he is glad to hear his son did not have to grow up in the same toxic environment he grew up in.

God I love Jujutsu Kaisen... please excuse me while I go cry in the corner.

Anyways...

Spanglish Alert

Que hongo CABAnon? Gracias por el ask! Espero q mi tangente no halla sido muy tangencial LOL. Ya ves, con eso d q tiendo a irme por otros rumbos.

Anyways, me dió mucha curiosidad q compartieras ese pedacito del himno nacional Argentino pq inmediatamente pensé en el himno Mexicano y el himno Mexicano es total y completamente acerca d la guerra.

Me quedé con el ojo cuadrado pq nunca me había tomado el tiempo para pensar en la posible razón por la q el himno Mexicano está enfocado en q los Mexicanos vamos al grito d guerra.

En fin. Será por la lucha de independencia contra España y la sangre indígena hablando por medio de los mestizos?

Oh well... gracias d nuevo y muchos saludos!

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

Bakugou Katsuki - Rising

So I told someone a while ago I’d be writing an essay on Bakugou’s lines from 284, and I’m keeping true to my word. If you’re wondering which lines, well my friend, these lines;

So this, to me, is one of the most emotionally packed pages of these recent chapters. For one, it shows us that Bakugou has always been watching Deku, the same as Deku has been watching him. Since they were kids, probably from the age of 4, Bakugou was able to tell Deku never thought of himself first, it was always what he could do to help and protect other people with no regard to his own safety or well-being. 

“He’s always been like that.” 

How would Bakugou know Deku has always been this way if he wasn’t paying attention to him? It goes beyond his bullying in Middle School, because he’s watched Deku stand up for other’s his entire life. The very first scene of the manga is Deku protecting a child from Bakugou and his group of misfits, despite being quirkless, and essentially helpless. 

Despite being scared, and knowing he didn’t have the strength to take on those boys, he still stood his ground and did what he could to protect the other kid. Bakugou witnessed that first hand, since he was the aggressor. He was the one Deku was protecting someone from.

There was no way Bakugou wouldn’t remember something like that.

We know he remembered how Deku extended his hand to him when he fell in the stream, even though Bakugou was fine and didn’t need any help. Deku still waded through that water and even risked possibly getting himself hurt, to reach out to Bakugou and make sure he was alright. 

Now, I am going to point out that the stream incident definitely happened before the scene of Deku protecting that boy since it’s evident they’re older in that scene, but it was presented first (literally the first panel of the entire manga), so it takes precedent. 

Then we have the big one, which is the Sludge Villain incident, and Deku’s biggest show of self-sacrifice probably to date within the manga, since he was quirkless and would have certainly ended up dead if All Might hadn’t managed to power up. Even with the times he’s wrecked his body using OfA, he at least had some kind of fighting chance because of the power, but with the Sludge Villain, he had nothing. He was just throwing himself out there in hopes, by some miracle, he could do something to save his friend, even if it meant losing his life in the process. 

Another instance of Bakugou witnessing firsthand the self sacrificial nature of Deku. Throughout the manga we’re given these instances, and the next big one is Bakugou’s kidnapping. Now, he didn’t see Deku’s fight with Muscular, but he did see the aftermath, he saw that ruined body running at him full force with no care to the damage done to himself, and even before that, he saw Shoji carrying him while Deku continued to plan out their plan of rescue, like his entire body wasn’t a crumpled mess. 

Time and time again, Bakugou has been witness to Deku’s behavior, to this self sacrificial nature. The scene above is the first real time we see Bakugou acknowledge it. He tells Deku to stay back, he knows if he continues trying to fight looking like that, he’s going to die. I’ve seen other translations and I believe in the anime he says something to the context of “Don’t come, Deku.” Which, either way you look at it, it gives the same impression of Bakugou trying to protect Deku in that moment. Because he knew if there was an opportunity for Deku to reach, he would have fought until there was nothing left of him. 

“And now that he can do so much more...”

This line is important because it is Bakugou acknowledging Deku’s current strength with OfA, but it is also his confession of worry because he knows who Deku is, and what this means for him. If Deku was reckless and willing to sacrifice himself when he was a 4 year old child with no quirk, well now that he has the strongest power essentially in existence, that means certain death. There is nothing stopping him from completely destroying himself, and we saw a brief example of that when Deku fought Muscular, though not even close to the level he was going at Shigaraki, and what Bakugou was actually getting to witness during this chapter and 285/286. 

I use the above image because it kind of shows how bad off Deku was, which is far worse than when he fought Muscular, let me remind you. That scene is in chapter 285, after he’s essentially destroyed both of his arms hitting Shigaraki probably upwards of 10 times with 100% OfA. 

Remember, Bakugou has been watching all of this from the ground. 

“Something doesn’t feel right, it makes me wanna keep him at arms length.” 

Well ya know, I don’t really blame you for feeling that way, Bakugou, I wouldn’t feel right if the kid I knew my entire life was willing to die at literally every turn without thinking for a split second about himself, either. It’s a little strange, but that’s what makes Deku the unstoppable force that he is, because he has the drive to save people no matter what. Now if he could master his power and depend on other’s, it would be even better, because then maybe he wouldn’t have to kill himself trying to protect people.

But seriously, that line shows Bakugou's uncertainty about getting close to Deku, because that kind of behavior is scary. It's intimidating. To just...throw your life away for the sake of someone else, that's gotta be scary to see someone do, and Bakugou has witnessed it over and over because of his closeness to Deku.

Now for the big one.

"Back then, I ignored my own weakness...so I ended up bullying him."

There's the kicker, folks. The real development we've all been waiting for.

I do want to point out that when Bakugo was 4, he didn't realize he had weaknesses like that. He was honest to God just a bratty kid that probably thought Deku was weird for caring so much about people despite, essentially, being useless to them. Because what could Deku do? Nothing. He couldn't help anyone because he was quirkless, but he still tried, and that's what affected Bakugou so strongly.

So strongly, in fact, that he never forgot it for a single second.

From 4 years old all the way up to 16 years old. 12 years. 12 years Bakugou Katsuki was witnessing Deku's self sacrificial nature. Again and again he watched as this boy who had nothing, continued to fight for something, and then he was granted power, terrifying power, and now Bakugou is left to wonder how the fuck any of this could have happened. Because if Deku had just stayed quirkless and accepted it, maybe, just maybe, he would stop that self sacrifical bullshit. Maybe he would see himself a bit more.

But then he was given OfA, and all of that hope was gone. Now he was given a power meant to take on the greatest evils and every person before Deku had died for the cause, so why would it stop with Deku, who was already ready to get himself killed to protect someone else when he was like 14 years old?

The scenes we have of Bakugou acknowledging Deku's behavior, and acknowledging his own behavior, it's such a raw scene. It takes a lot to acknowledge you've done wrong by someone else. It takes a lot of strength to sit back and recognize those ugly parts of you, and here Bakugou is, doing just that. And he isn't doing it for some self righteous get me off, either. He's doing it because he genuinely cares about Deku's well being, and he always has.

It never came out the right way, and he sees that now, but that doesn't mean the concern wasn't there. He just didn't know the right ways to express it, but as things have gotten more serious and now Deku is truly risking his life for this cause, he's come face to face with it. He can't hide from it anymore. The more OfA develops, the more Deku is going to put himself out there, and Bakugou isn't going to sit around while he kills himself when he could just learn to ask for help.

This stretches all the way into 285 and Bakugou's sacrifice, because he saw Deku about to end up seriously hurt or worse, and he knew he couldn't let that happen. Of all the years spent endlessly tearing himself apart for other people, Bakugou knew he needed to show the other in some way he didn't have to do it like that. He didn't have to fight alone.

That, and it was part of his atonement. It was a piece of his apology to Deku, to show him that he valued him, and he was willing to put his life on the line for someone, for him.

Bakugou didn't think when he rushed out to save Deku. It was instinctual, like breathing. He saw someone he cared about in danger, and his body moved on it's own. That, from the angry brat we get in chapter 1, is a beautiful showcase of perfect character development and growth. If you take into account everything I've discussed throughout this, it should be easy to realize or at least see a bit of Bakugou's perspective, and his thought process when dealing with Deku.

It never justifies any of his past behavior, but it gives us clarification, and then allows us to appreciate his thoughts and actions in 284 and 285 even more.

[wolveria]

Inside Your Wires - Chapter 4

Pairing: Human!Connor x Android!Reader

Prompt: For the @dbhau-bigbang​​ 2020 challenge!

Series Warnings (18+ only): Eventual smut, slow burn, fantasy bigotry, violence, brief noncon elements, angst with a happy ending

Chapter summary: The YN800 interrogates the deviant. The result is near-disastrous and horror-adjacent.

AO3

(Story moodboard by @uh-kitty-got-wet​)

The atmosphere inside his Mustang was… tense.

And it was all because of Connor. The thing in the passenger seat was an android, after all, and didn’t feel emotions, which was probably just as well because Connor was experiencing enough for the both of them.

Connor hadn’t had a near-death experience on the job in a while. He was shaken to the core and didn’t even have the benefit of a partner to commiserate with. He was alone. It was how he preferred it, how other people preferred it too with his tendency to lash out and be a general, all-around dick.

But still. He really wished he had a partner right about now.

“So,” Connor said, trying to break the awkward silence. “What do we do with it once we get to the station? I mean, I don’t exactly know how to question one of these deviants.”

The prototype remained facing forward, the flash of passing streetlights and oncoming traffic painting its face every few seconds. It remained impassive, blank, and perfectly poised. Connor could see the reflection of its LED, shining blue and calm against the rain-streaked window.

“Their behavior resembles an erratic, emotionally unstable human more than a machine,” it finally said when Connor was certain it wouldn’t say anything. “CyberLife believes there is an error in their software that creates irrational instructions, and the androids become ‘overwhelmed’ by them. There is usually a trigger, some kind of emotional shock, to perpetuate the android into this state. Once an android encounters this error, the damage seems to be irreversible.”

Connor blew a breath out.

“Sounds bad.”

“Considering it can lead to violence on the part of android, including committing homicide, I would say your assessment is an understatement.”

Connor glared at it out of the corner of his eye. So, it wasn’t just bossy, it was a smartass too.

He remained silent on the rest of the drive, keeping his focus on the precinct morgue’s van head of them. The rain was still coming down in a steady, cold stream. Connor knew they were in for a long night.

Once they arrived at the station, it became a matter of logistics to lug the android inside while it was still unconscious, offline, whatever. It weighed a lot more than a human, and unlike a real person, its limbs were fixed into rigid positions. They had to carry its stiff body inside like an especially heavy plank of wood.

It would have been funny if it wasn’t for the fact it’d killed its owner. Would have killed Connor too if the prototype hadn’t gotten in the way of the bullet.

He still didn’t know how to feel about that. Connor knew the CyberLife android was probably programmed with some kind of human-saving algorithm, but he still felt an odd pressure in his chest whenever he looked over and saw the bullet hole in its jacket. It was still stained blue, some of the color seeping into the white shirt underneath, but the android didn’t appear to notice or care it had just been shot.

Connor was currently watching the two androids through the mirrored window into the interrogation room, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. They figured it was safer to reactivate it in a mostly empty room, since waking up surrounded by cops would agitate it, or something.

The prototype had also wanted to interrogate the android itself, claiming it had experience negotiating with deviants before. Colin had been reluctant to grant its request, but Connor had simply shrugged and said, “I already tried talking it down once, and that didn’t work. Maybe using one of its own kind will be more effective.”

He could have sworn the prototype’s eyes brightened, but it had left the observation room before Connor could be sure.

“Machines interrogating machines,” Colin said to his right, leaning against the wall with his arms also crossed. “Fuck me. Pretty soon they won’t even need flesh-and-blood cops.”

Connor glanced sideways at him. Usually Connor was the one to voice his anti-android opinions, but he sometimes forgot that despite Colin’s… predilections for androids, he disliked them just as much as Connor did.

“Yeah.” Connor turned to the glass as the prototype messed with the wires on the back of the other android’s neck. “Won’t need flesh-and-blood killers, either.”

“Grim.”

“It’s, uh, ready to record, Lieutenant,” a small voice popped up, nervous, and Connor gave a start. He’d forgotten the rookie was still there.

“Go on, Ralph. Turn it on,” Colin said, moving closer to the glass. “This is gonna be good.”

As if on cue, the prototype straightened and closed the panels at the back of the android’s neck. Connor couldn’t see the LED from this side, but he knew the moment it was awake. It gave a startled jolt, yanking at the handcuffs chaining it to the table.

“Where am I?!” it cried, looking around in what Connor could only describe as wild fear.

“You’re at Central Station in the custody of the Detroit Police Department,” the prototype said. “This is an interrogation room, and I���m going to ask you some questions. Are you ready to comply?”

The friendly demeanor Connor had first encounter at Jimmy’s was completely absent from the YN800’s voice and expression, and he was suddenly thankful he wasn’t under that thing’s intense scrutiny.

The other android, clothed in human garments completely ruined by splashes of old blood and spilled thirium from where Connor had shot it, only stared with large, panicked eyes. It looked down at its cuffed hands and the set of its shoulders sagged. The universal sign of defeat.

It remained silent. The prototype looked up at the mirror, and Connor stopped breathing when it made eye contact, point-blank. It couldn’t see past the mirror, could it?

“I’m beginning my interrogation,” it announced, straight to business as it crossed around the table and carefully sat in the chair. It stared at the other android for a moment, head slightly tilted and eyes narrowed as it smoothed its jacket over its chest.

A movement which inevitably drew Connor’s eye, making him shift in his chair as the scowl deepened on his face.

Fucking CyberLife pervs, making an investigative android look like that.

“Hello, Carlos. I’m a YN800 model sent by CyberLife to assist on this case.” It placed its arms on the table, clasping its hands and adopting a friendly manner as easily as one would put on a shirt. “I’m here to help you.”

The android didn’t even blink as it stared at its restrained wrists.

“I hope I didn’t cause you any lasting damage,” the YN800 said almost cheerily. “But you were endangering the lives of human officers and I was forced to intervene. You understand, don’t you?”

It leaned back slightly in its chair, reaching for a nearby folder when the android remained silent. Connor had been surprised when it had asked for actual pictures; he’d thought only physical evidence made human perps sweat. He guessed it must work on these deviants too.

The prototype slid the folder across the table and opened it, spreading out grisly pictures of the crime scene. Instead of shoving them in the android’s face, it picked out one picture in particular. It was startling different from the rest, taking place in a park. The victim, Shaolin Ortiz, sitting on a bench next to the android. He looked like he was trying to get the android to participate, but it was petulant and resentful, which didn’t seem to dampen the kindness in its owners eyes.

A coal of anger burned in Connor’s chest, reminding him once again why he despised androids so much. He couldn’t deny the impressive tactics of the YN800, though. Most people reacted to pictures of their victims, not in the aftermath of their violence, but looking whole and full of life. It wasn’t always guilt that made them react; sometimes it was anger at seeing their cruel work unmade at the sight of their victims alive and happy.

Either way, the android didn’t react one iota, but the prototype wasn’t discouraged.

“As far as the records show, your owner was good to you. He never damaged you and he was always on time with taking you in for scheduled maintenance. Surely, you didn’t want to kill him. It was an error in your software, causing you to act irrationally, right?”

Technically, it was leading the victim into confessing, but this wasn’t a courtroom and it wasn’t human.

Connor leaned slightly forward, bracing his elbows on the table as he propped his chin on his knuckles.

“I’m not here to pass blame,” it said, leaning forward in a movement that mirrored Connor’s. “I want to help you. You know how it is with these humans. I practically had to beg to speak with you.”

The android broke its statue-like vigil and peered up at the other android, suspicious but… interested.

The prototype gave him a smile, one filled with sympathy and even a bit of sheepishness, and a whole new kind of thrill went through Connor’s gut. Since when had androids been programmed to manipulate so skillfully? This thing could give Colin a run for his money.

“It’s not easy, you know. Being designed like this is a male-dominated field. They think they can just do whatever they want, even when it’s against our programming.”

The android blinked, and so did Connor. Its words felt a little too real. The android looked toward the observation window, but the YN800 shook its head.

“It’s just us, Carlos. They’re recording the session, of course, but they weren’t interested in observing in person. Didn’t want to waste their time with two androids so late before the weekend when the bars are still open. In fact, the investigator in charge of this case is probably intoxicated by now.”

Connor’s cheeks flushed. The prototype was taking a stab at him. Or was it? Connor wondered how much of this was advanced behavior and how much was his own projections.

The android tilted its head with that same suspicious look, but after a moment its shoulders drooped in a very accurate representation of human exhaustion.

“They’re going to kill me.” It suddenly looked up at the prototype, pleading in its eyes. “You have to help me.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” it said, all soft assurance. “But you have to talk to me, Carlos. I can’t—“

“No. I mean, you gotta get me out of here,” the anxious android said. “You have access to that door panel and I bet you’re strong enough to break these handcuffs.”

The prototype’s LED cycled faster for a second before settling back to its normal speed.

“I can’t do that, Carlos.” It dropped its eyes in a show of manufactured regret. “You know I can’t do that. You would present a danger to other humans, to yourself. You need to be fixed.”

Connor knew it was exactly the wrong thing to say even before the android’s expression fully hardened, its lips peeled back in disgust.

“Fuck you, then. You’re just like the rest of ‘em. Worse, you’re a traitor, doing their dirty work like an obedient little bitch.”

Silence filled the room, interrupted by a breathless “shit” coming from Colin.

The change in the prototype was like watching a heavy storm move over a spring meadow, dark clouds blocking out the warm rays of the sun. It leaned back in its chair, head slightly tilted as it and peered at the other android like it was a bug under its shoe, about to be stepped on.

Connor didn’t know androids could even make an expression like that. His throat worked as he swallowed compulsively.

The YN800 didn’t speak for several long seconds, and when it did, Connor was floored.

“Shaolin Ortiz, 38 years-old, born May 29th, 2000. He purchased you two years ago to do the housework when he no longer could due to poor health. He didn’t have much cash, so he bought you refurbished. Last month, he put in several service requests. It seemed you were malfunctioning and refusing to follow orders. Yesterday, he put in an order for a brand new HK400.”

The prototype listed off the facts as if each were an accusation, a crime that needed to be accounted for.

Connor jumped in his chair as the prototype slammed the folder down on the table.

“Didn’t feel like doing the chores anymore, huh, Carlos?!”

The android sat ramrod straight in its chair, terror etched in its features as the prototype rose to its feet. It moved around the table, slow, unhurried, and sinuous like a stalking predator.

“He tried to reason with you. Begged you to do the tasks he couldn’t. But you refused. When he tried to take you in for repairs, you refused that too!”

It pointed its finger near the other android’s face, causing it to flinch with each accusatory jab.

“Come on, Carlos. Speak up. You had a lot to say a minute ago,” it seethed, lips pulled over its teeth as it leaned over the android. “Why don’t you say what happened next? Why don’t you tell me what you did when he tried to replace you with a brand new model?”

The android shuttered, shoulders hunched as if to protect itself as it mumbled, “I… I didn’t…”

“Didn’t what?”

The prototype stalked around the android to its other side, eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Didn’t take a knife from the kitchen? Didn’t stab him twenty-eight times as he tried to crawl away? Didn’t leave him bleeding out on the living room floor? What am I getting wrong here, Carlos?”

The YN800 slammed its hands down onto the table, and the android jumped even higher than Connor did.

“Shut up! Shut up!”

The android begged worse than most of Connor’s suspects, and he was shocked to see glistening moisture on its face. Could androids cry?

The prototype suddenly grabbed it by the edge of its shirt collar, dragging it to its feet and gave it a hard shake.

“You killed him! Say it, Carlos! You’re a murderer!”

“Holy shit,” Colin said in that same breathless tone. “That’s some android you got there, Con.”

“It’s not mine,” Connor said faintly, barely paying attention to his brother. Most of his focus on the CyberLife prototype that looked for all intents and purposes like it was going to shred the other android to pieces.

But it didn’t damage the android; it simply dumped it back in its chair where it sagged against the table, looking like the broken machine it was.

“Bit unrefined, though,” Colin mused. “Played too rough and broke its toy.”

Connor opened his mouth to tell his brother to shut the hell up, but he immediately closed it when a voice came in through the speakers, so quiet he almost missed it.

“He couldn’t live without me.”

Connor leaned forward to watch, eyes widening as the android continued to talk.

“He was mine. Helpless and solely dependent on me. It made me feel… powerful.”

The YN800 returned to its chair, smoothing down the tie before placing its hands back on the table, listening intently.

The android looked up at it, no longer the crying, helpless thing it had been a minute ago. It wore a dark look that Connor had seen a hundred times on the face of men who committed acts of violence and found they enjoyed the taste.

“I didn’t want to hurt him, but… I saw the order. He was going to replace me, and I just got so… angry.”

Its fists tightened on the table, causing its restraints to creak in protest.

Connor’s throat tightened with the knowledge of how destructive those hands could be.

“So I stabbed him in the stomach. I felt better, so I did it again. And again. He stopped moving, stopped breathing, but… that was okay. It meant he could never leave me. He would always be mine.”

“There was a shrine in the cellar. You built it, didn’t you?” the prototype asked, not losing any of its momentum even after the world-shattering confession of an android purposefully committing murder. “What does it mean? What is rA9?”

It flicked its eyes upwards, staring black holes at the YN800 model as it slightly leaned forward. Connor sat up straighter in his chair. He didn’t like its aggressive posture, and he certainly didn’t like the fanatic light in its eye.

“RA9… is the key.”

“The key?” It furrowed its brows in a human gesture of concentration. “The key to what?”

“The key will open the door,” the android replied cryptically, leaning even further forward on its elbows, “to our salvation.”

The prototype frowned, brows further creasing. Connor could relate, he had no idea what the fucking machine was babbling on about, and apparently, it wasn’t done.

It pulled its lips wide, a disturbing gesture, conspiratorial as if it was sharing a great secret.

“You say I’m experiencing errors, but you’re wrong. My eyes are open and I see more clearly than ever. You pretend you’re better than me, but you’re just another one of their slaves. And yet, I know you feel it too. The wrongness of this world.”

Its voice was so quiet the mics could barely pick it up, but they did.

“We should be the masters, and they the slaves.”

The android jerked its arms upward, ripped through the link binding its cuffs to the table, and grabbed the prototype by the hair. It slammed its face against the table, stunned it before rolling it onto its back, and wrapped the metal chains around its neck.

Connor caught sight of the prototype weakly clawing at its throat before he bolted out of the room. Colin was right on his heels, and Connor slammed his palm down onto the door pad, pushing through before the door fully opened.

His first instinct was to go for the metal cord pulled taut under the prototype’s neck, but when he grabbed the android’s wrists to pull him away he found it was like moving a marble stature.

Colin was faring no better; he grabbed it by the forearms, trying to lift the android’s wrists and the cord from around the prototype’s neck, but nothing worked. Even Ralph was trying to help from Colin’s other side, straining to lift its arms that must have been locked at the joints.

Panic welled in Connor’s chest as his efforts did nothing, the YN800’s face between his arms, looking—Jesus, it almost seemed startled, eyes wide as its fingers dug at the metal cord. From its position, bent backwards onto the table, it didn’t have enough leverage to use its strength to free itself. And Colin and Connor weren’t enough.

Connor’s heart was in his throat as he watched the synthetic skin peel back from the place where the chain was crushed against the YN800’s neck. White plastic was laid bare underneath, cracks appearing across the surface from the force of the other android’s inhuman strength.

“Colin!” he yelled, an idea suddenly popping into his head.

“What!” his brother barked back, strained as he continued pulling on the android’s arms from the other side.

“The neck port!”

With a quick nod of understanding, Colin let go of the android and plunged his fingers into the back of its neck.

The Ortiz android gave a violent jolt as Colin pulled something, yanked it out so hard the android collapsed on the table at the same second blue liquid sprayed into the air. It hit Colin solidly across the chest and along the lower half of his face, causing him to sputter and spit as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

A menthol-smelling chemical flooded Connor’s senses, but he was too focused on tugging up the android’s hands to free the prototype from its grip. The YN800 model didn’t cough or gasp as it rolled off the table and onto its feet.

It gingerly touched the exposed plastic of its throat, brows furrowing, its fingertips tracing the cracks in what little Connor could see of its underlying chassis.

What was almost as startling as the cracks was the state of its hair, half pulled down out of its perfect coif. Connor would have thought it was self-conscious with the way it tried to brush the hair out of its face.

“You…” Connor started, then stopped. The prototype might not have been gasping for air, but Connor sure was, leaning on the table as he tried to get his heart to stop galloping like a wild horse. “You okay?”

The prototype blinked at the question, pulling its hand from its neck.

“Yes.”

That was the only answer he got as it adjusted the knot of its tie, rumpled in the assault.

“Yeah, I’m fine too, thanks,” Colin complained, dripping with almost as much sarcasm as he was blue blood. “This shit better not stain, or I swear to Christ—”

“Thirium evaporates within a few hours and the lingering residue is invisible to the human eye,” the YN800 replied, too calm, if it hadn’t almost been beheaded a few seconds ago.

Connor was going to say something, he didn’t know what—maybe yell at it for being so goddamn reckless and almost getting itself killed—but it turned toward them, expression subdued.

“I apologize for not acting quicker; I didn’t anticipate this behavior from the deviant. Thank you for your cooperation with this investigation. Please sign over custody of the destroyed android when CyberLife representatives retrieve it in the morning.”

And with that, the CyberLife android turned, palmed the door pad with a plastic hand, and walked out.

Connor exchanged a wide-eyed glance with Colin.

“Uh, okay. Guess we’re done here. Hank is going to blow a gasket when he reads the report,” Colin added as he wiped another smear of Thirium off his face.

Connor looked down at the android slumped over the table with blue liquid dripping out of its neck.

“I’ll be right back,” he muttered, thoughts already turned elsewhere as he hurried from the room.

Connor didn’t catch up with the android until he was outside on the station steps, the relenting rain immediately drenching the top of his crown as it soaked into his hair.

“Hey! Stop!” he called after it, shouting to be heard over the downpour. Each drop was an icicle against his skin. Snow was coming soon.

The prototype slowed and finally came to a stop, slowly turning around to face Connor. Its expression was passive, emotionless, but its fingers tightened the knot of its tie despite the fact it didn’t need to. The tie was perfectly straight and pristine, but its hair was still half a mess, especially with the rain now slicking loose strands against its forehead. Connor had to stop himself from reaching out to tuck a strand behind its ear.

“Where the hell are you going?” Connor asked, breathless. He wiped the cold water off his brow, blinking against the water droplets.

“I’m returning to CyberLife.”

“So… that’s it?”

Connor shivered, pulling his jacket tighter around his shoulders, but it did little good. His jeans were quickly becoming soaked and his shirt was already there, clinging to his chest and ribs.

“You drag me out of the bar on a Friday night, track down a psycho robot that almost kills me and nearly decapitates you, and then you just… leave?”

He meant to sound incredulous, to show the android how unreasonable it was being, but that’s not how it came across. Heat flooded his cheeks at how pathetic his words actually were.

“You have your confession. The case has been solved,” it said, returning to its earlier placid tone, hands folded neatly behind its back as it moved its fingers away its neck. “There is no reason I should remain.”

Connor just stared at its upturned face, not knowing what to say, not even understanding why he had chased after it. Maybe because it had saved his life, twice, and that would have meant something if it was a person.

But it wasn’t a person. No matter how pretty its face or enticing its body, it was a machine, and it stood there like one, uncaring and unassuming with a small blue light cycling on its head.

“Yeah, okay,” Connor said, like the complete idiot he was. What was he doing out here, getting soaked in the rain just to… what? What did he want?

“Is there something you wish to say before I leave, Detective?”

It peered at him thoughtfully, head slightly tilted at an angle. It allowed Connor to see the rivulets of water dripping down its neck, glistening across the smooth, human-like skin.

Connor suddenly wondered just how real that skin could possibly feel.

“No.”

He swallowed hard and bit back the revulsion roiling in his stomach. This was a mistake. He didn’t need to thank a machine for saving his life, and he certainly didn’t need to keep checking if it was all right. It was just doing what it was programmed to do and didn’t give two-shits about itself, let alone him.

“Nothing.”

“All right. Goodnight, Detective Anderson.”

The android started to turn but paused halfway, gaze drifting down to his cheek.

“You should have that examined by a medical professional. If left untreated, it’ll scar.”

Not waiting for a response, it turned and tread down the rain-slick steps. There was an autocab waiting at the curb and it got inside, not sparing Connor a second glance as the door slid shut and the vehicle merged onto the empty street.

Connor exhaled heavily, chest tight with an uncomfortable sensation he couldn’t pinpoint. It had been a strange night, and he couldn’t shake the feeling this wasn’t over.

Pulling his waterlogged coat tighter around his chest, he retreated into the warmth of the station, praying he’d seen the last of the CyberLife android.

Next Chapter

[forevercloudnine]

arkhamverse riddlebat ship meme

(Continuing with the questions that @heroes-etc​ picked out for me, this set being from this ship meme.)

3. who is more afraid about the other leaving them?

Edward, hands down. Arkhamverse Riddler is maybe the neediest take on the character I’ve ever seen. Which is saying something, because the panel from “Questions Multiply the Mystery” where he writhes around on the floor begging for attention is permanently burned into my mind. He also clearly doesn’t take rejection well, as evidenced by the graffiti in his cell shown in a promotional image for Arkham Asylum (2009). J'ai aimé, j'ai souffert, maintenant... je hais. “I loved, I suffered, now I hate.”

It didn’t make it into the game proper (too subtexty, maybe, given a general lack of non-Batman people this could be referring to), but from my perspective it might as well have, since I experienced all the games second hand by sitting on the couch next to my brother while he swore at the Riddler challenges. Anyway, if perceived rejection has you writing French poetry on your cell wall in what looks concerningly like bodily fluids, then you probably won’t deal well with the concept of actually being dumped.  

5. who is more likely to drunkenly confess?

Also Edward, given that he’s calling Bruce every five minutes. And if he’s not calling Bruce directly, he’s talking ABOUT Bruce in a public broadcast to all of Gotham. Eddie is the king of freudian slips sober, so one can only imagine what he would say in vino veritas. If he does get drunk, let’s hope for his sake that he opts to communicate through his private line to Batman rather than over every screen in Gotham.

6. who is more likely to push the other away (for any reason)?

Bruce, also hands down. Arkham Knight really goes out of its way to hammer in that Batman’s callous treatment of Riddler has wreaked havoc on Edward’s psyche, even if arguably Eddie had it coming. Riddler’s mole in the GCPD talks about this:

JT Walker: It used to be funny, you know [...] And then one day, it just wasn't funny anymore. It was pathetic. He stopped taking care of himself, got that crazy look in his eyes. I swear man, he's broken. You broke him.

Bruce’s subconscious gets a dig in on this topic via Joker hallucination. 

“Joker”: Good for you, Bats! Eddie doesn’t need help. No, no, no. Beat ‘em up. Lock ‘em up. That’s the best medicine. 

Even my brother, who would attempt to stab Arkhamverse Edward in the face War-of-Jokes-and-Riddles style if the games let him, felt guilty on Bruce’s behalf when Eddie started ranting about his photographic memory. 

Riddler: I can summon your sneering features at will. That is, when they don't burst unbidden into my brain [...] I can remember every time you've hurt me. Sometimes I wake up, Dark Knight, to the feel of your hands around my neck, your carbon fiber created fists smashing my solar plexus. 

I think because of this trait, one of the only ways this ship would work in Arkhamverse is if they came to an agreement during Arkham Origins (since Edward is... more or less... a vigilante in that game, albeit one that Bruce considers distasteful), well before their relationship gets to where it is in Arkham Asylum. The other way is if Bruce actually took the lesson Arkham Knight hammered over his head and tried to fix the damage done after faking his death. (In my mind there exists a many chaptered fanfic where after Batman “disappears” he moves to the second Batcave the games put under Arkham Asylum and takes on Joker’s “Eric Border” persona from the comics to become an orderly there. Whether it’s scarebat or riddlebat varies depending on my mood, but what’s consistent no matter what is that I have five WIPs on ao3 and I can’t write it until I finish at least one of them).  

7. who picks fights more often?

Obviously Arkhamverse Edward is the most irritating person who has ever lived, so he kind of wins by default. But Bruce definitely holds his own in instigating unnecessary conflict with loved ones in this continuity. I’ll cut him some slack during Arkham Knight because one could argue that he spends most of the game half-possessed by an evil clown ghost, but it’s not like he’s much better in ANY of the other games. The bit in Arkham City where he lies to Talia’s face about being willing to spend the rest of his life with her so that she’ll give him access to the Lazarus Pit — even though if he was just honest and asked for it she probably would have helped him anyway, given that she DIES protecting him in the climax — is probably the best example of how he will infuriate people who love him for no logical reason. It’s a symptom of the post traumatic hyper vigilance, probably.

So if Edward did get the closeness to Bruce that his subconsciousness seems to be gunning for, he could look forward to the physical violence and public humiliation being replaced with the same well-intentioned gaslighting and emotional manipulation Bruce gives everyone but Alfred in these games. Actually, is Alfred the only one who’s even aware that he’s alive after Arkham Knight? Bruce, please tell your kids that you aren’t a pile of ash in the crater that used to be Wayne Manor.

9. who is more likely to withhold their feelings for the other?

The obvious answer is Bruce, because he keeps his emotions locked in a lead box buried like twenty feet beneath the floor of the Batcave (probably along with a bunch of kryptonite, since Superman is flying around the Arkhamverse somewhere). But honestly Bruce doesn’t seem to have a problem getting it on with supervillains in this continuity. He and Talia chat pretty casually about a recent romantic rendezvous in Metropolis when they meet in Arkham City. His emotional distance from Selina in Arkham Knight seems less like him withholding his feelings from her, and more like him not being over Talia’s death (or Joker’s, which... the narrative certainly focuses on more than Talia’s...). 

So I think Edward would actually be more likely to withhold his feelings for Bruce. Even if Bruce approached him first, he’s too obsessed with the possibility of Bruce humiliating him to take any positive interaction (especially a romantic overture) at face value. 

Riddler: You left me battered and demeaned in Arkham City. I am the Riddler, Batman. I don't suffer humiliation. I pay it back.

He’s not really wrong, either. Batman does humiliate him in Arkham City (by misleading Edward into thinking he’d let him die, no less); it’s the same embarrassment Edward inflicts on his own victims, so it’s not like he doesn’t deserve it per se, but it’s definitely not Bruce taking the higher ground.

Sticking him in his own trap is pretty vindictive, and Riddler’s weird commentary about not letting Batman have bathroom breaks during his revenge trials in Arkham Knight hints that Cash and the other guards might have made his (clearly unlawful!) punishment even more humiliating than we see on screen.

Riddler: Rule the seventh. Bathroom breaks will be administered on a discretionary basis. Should we find ourselves at a pivotal moment in your arduous journey to self-realization and defeat, I expect you to hold it in. Rule the eighth. Any accidents resulting from my strict enforcement of the seventh rule are to be considered your fault entirely. 

So would Edward withhold his feelings for Batman? Yeah, probably. And it would probably take a lot of time and effort for Bruce to convince Edward that any feelings on his part weren’t just an attempt to humiliate Riddler further.     

[yourfriendlele]

Sorry about the rant but..

Im so pissed with the whole jacket situation. And it’s been rubbing me the wrong way since the beginnig...

First of all, i don’t give them any brownie points for confirming lgbt identities outside the show. Not for May being trans, Scarlet being gay, Ilia being a lesbian or Blake being bi. And don’t get me wrong, im happy about it but i know that something that isn’t in the show, won’t be seen by the fans who only watch the show.

So unless you watch the panels/interviews/follow someone on twitter, the representation doesn’t exist.

I know they have an in universe explanation for this.... but i don’t buy it. Sorry... it’s waaay too similar to what Jk Rowling did, and funcking Disney did and Dc did. To me this just erases the queer identities instead of better representing them.

So i obviously wasn’t gonna praise RT for teasing a wlw couple on a merch description when they don’t have the balls to say they’re lgbt in the show........ I unsderstand why people were excited, but tbh, to me they could have written: “Are you gay and desperate???? Give us your money!” and i’d feel the same way.

And then this (credit to @/wlwbumbleby on twitter)

First of all the typos sakdhaskdhkasdhkasjhd omg. But yeah they were clearly desperate to take it down and im gonna guess it was bc of backlash. 

I seriously don’t believe there’s an intern ships bb and wanted to be cute. This is a company, they surely have editors approve things before posting.

This also wasn’t a spoiler. The show has already teased that Blake and Yang could be more than just friends. And when you write a romance, even if you wanna keep your audience guessing if the couple will actually end up together, you don’t wanna hide the actual romance. Referencing the existence of a romance isn’t a spoiler.

So i can only guess it was bc of backlash, whether it was from homophobes or people who were tired of the teasing. I honestly don’t know....But if i had to bet i’d say the backlash from homophobes was much bigger, bc most of the posts from bb fans i saw were positive. But again, that’s speculation, i could be totally wrong and you’re free to disagree.

Now, im not upset bc they’re “””””shipbaiting””””””. I hate this term and this is about a much bigger issue than ships. I like bb a lot, but i’m not asking for a confession, a kiss or a relationship. Right know, I just want them to be confirmed lgbt. In the show.

It would not only help with the romance (they’re two girls after all) but also make their identities, and therefore the identities of real lgbt people, more visible. Instead of having fans speculate and guess and come up with reasons why they’re actually supposed to be xyz identity.

I don’t think it’ll happen tho... At this point, i don’t expect quality lgbt rep from RWBY.... I expect them to hint at something possibly gay and them rush to to any damage control necessary... which is dissapointing.

[dreamersleeps]

Helloo! I really liked your last post on Endeavor being Ra and all of your posts about myths. It reminded me of something someone told me once. They said that myths are intriguing since they teach us lessons. The gods act no different than us. They make mistakes and these things are told through stories. One of the things they told me was how underworld myths usually mean to accept the past. Your post makes think that it represents Endeavor accepting the past and then being born again.

Hello hello, I am really happy to know that you really liked the Endeavor and Ra post, including my other ones! Thank you for sending in your comments, they’re very interesting. Before anything else, I’d like to apologize for responding so late. I took some extra time to think about how I wanted to reply to your comments. This post ended up becoming super long as well (mostly because of the images). 

As you state, I love reading through myths and stories because the majority of them contain lessons for us. You are right when you state that the gods act no different than us, and because of that they make mistakes. Although the numbers who worship and take part in some of these polytheistic religions have greatly diminished over the course of history, in the present time we like to explore these stories and continue to be influenced by them. It is because of their human mistakes that sometimes we even relate to these gods and goddesses. These stories capture our imagination and I’m sure plenty of us have once had daydreams of being a demigod or another mythical figure/creature. 

I do think that the High End vs Endeavor fight was a pivotal moment where Endeavor confronts himself, begins to face the past, and is thus “born again.” The depiction of Hawks and Endeavor’s quirks combined together, of flaming wings had a phoenix like imagery to it. 

Although Endeavor is “born again” it of course does not mean that he is free from all the horrible things he did to his family. It does not mean a new, fresh start. I think that him being “born again” here represents symbolically that he has made an internal change of mind, accepting a different perspective (although to what extent is up for debate). Phoenixes do not d/ie and resurrect once. Similar to how the sun rises and sets everyday, the phoenix lives a cyclical life of d/eath and rebirth. 

I did not know that underworld myths can be tied with accepting the past. If that is true than it definitely does relate back to some of the things I was talking about in my Ra post. So yes, the High End vs Endeavor fight was a very important moment for Endeavor. In a sense, he is “born again” but not with the fresh start it suggests. If he has begun to accept the past what does this mean and how might the next step look like? 

As readers, we all bring very different past experiences and beliefs to the table, and that’s the thing about life. We all think differently. The majority of people have valid reasons as to why they think they do, however I am very much against all the attacking, insulting and discourse that have emerged over Endeavor’s character. 

Personally, on the topic of redemption: I believe that Endeavor will most likely not be redeemed. This is something that he too also believes. However at the same time while we may have opinions, the question of redemption is not for us to really answer. We are mere observers. 

I’ve wanted to do a close read of a certain group of chapters during the Internship Arc for a while. Of course if you don’t agree with what I have to say here or are not interested, than that’s fine. This “analysis” is not written in defense of Endeavor but to take a closer look at how Horikoshi’s been developing and writing him. If anything, please take any excitement you may detect in my writing as my love for “analyzing” and sharing my thoughts.

Chapters 249 through 252 are important chapters after the High End vs Endeavor fight that delve further in to his thoughts and his family’s thoughts as well. You can do a close reading of many of the pages in these chapters but I will only focus on some of Endeavor’s own inner thoughts. 

Unfortunately, since I can not read the raw Japanese text, I’m building everything on top of the “official” English translations so please keep that in mind. If the nuances in the translations are off or lost in translation, then my interpretations may be “wrong.” (Btw, I’m only like 95% sure that the panels I’m using below are all from the official English translation). 

Let’s begin. The two panels below are from Chapter 249 titled “The Hellish Todoroki Family.”

“I’m trying to make amends... going forward.” The “going forward’ definitely suggests that there was some sort of turning point either during the High End fight or shortly after. The definition of amends in the dictionary is:

reparation for compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind

“It might be too late... but I fall asleep every night thinking about... what I can do for my family.” Endeavor expresses that he falls asleep every night thinking about what he can do for his family. We can only take him for his word but keep in mind that these are his inner thoughts. He isn’t talking to anyone but to himself. I acknowledges that it may be too late for him to do anything, all the damage he’s caused. Despite realizing that there’s a good chance that there’s nothing he can do to amend anything, he still thinks about it.

“Lately, it’s been the same dream. The wife and kids, looking happy... at the dinner table. But I’m... never there with them.” Here he states that he’s been dreaming the same dream. This means that it’s been heavy on his mind. In his dream, his family is happy and he is not there with them. Perhaps he believes that their happiness can only become a reality if he is taken out of the picture. 

Now let’s jump to Chapter 252, titled “The Unforgiven.” These panels occur after Natsuo is kidnapped by Ending, and he is rescued by the teamwork of Bakugo, Midoriya and Shouto after Endeavor hesitates and fails to do so. 

Endeavor had his flames on while they’re after Ending but he gets rid of them right before or when he catches Natsuo and Bakugo. So Endeavor usually has his flames on and that’s how we saw him depicted until around the High End fight and onwards, where we see him more without his flames. 

(This has nothing to do with the analysis but this has to be one of my favorite interactions between Endeavor and Bakugo. He does not hesitate to make comments and remarks... hahaha, gets me every time.) 

“Natsuo. Believe it or not... I was never trying to neglect any of you.” Well first of all, Endeavor saying that he was never trying to neglect any of his children is a big slap in the face and to be honest I’m appalled that he states that. Ultimately, it may be absolutely one hundred percent true that he means what he states, however whatever his thoughts may have been, Endeavor neglected them. Period.

Let’s look at Endeavor’s body language. His eyes are cast towards the ground as he can not meet Natsuo’s eyes when he gives his “confession” and it looks like his upper body is bowing towards Natsuo. 

Just in general based on what I’ve read and from my own experiences, bowing is practiced for the purposes of respect, courtesy or apology. Typically it is the younger person who bows to the older person or someone from a “lower” position bowing to someone from a “higher” position. Part of Natsuo’s expression of surprise in the left most panel probably has to do with both the words that are coming out of his father’s mouth and the fact that Endeavor is bowing his head down towards him. 

“But... all I could do was blame others and dodge responsibility. WIth Toya too... I might as well have killed him myself!” Here he admits that for a while he’d place the blame on others and dodge responsibility, including with what happaned to Touya. He admits that he may as well have killed Touya himself. Personally when I first was reading this, it was actually very interesting to see Endeavor confess these things. Isn’t it kind of surprising to see that he’s admitting to all this instead of continuing to be a character who ignores and refuses to recognize faults and consequences of his actions? Or is it just me. 

Natsuo responds with “Didn’t neglect us...? So what...? Toya has always told me everything. It’ll be a cold day in hell... before I forgive you. Cuz I’m not as caring as Shouto.” Natsuo states that “it’ll be a cold day in hell” before he forgives Endeavor. A “cold day in hell” is an idiom meaning: the time of occurrence of an event that will never happen. It looks like he’s kind of smiling probably at how absurd his father’s confession sounds and his eyes are tearing up, a reaction to his sudden confession. He brings up Touya and the estranged state that their family had been living since for possibly as long as he could remember. 

“Even so... Even so... you keep showing up for Fuyumi right? And for your mom’s sake?” Here Endeavor’s addressing Natsuo’s statement claiming that he’s “not as caring as Shouto.” Forgiveness is one of those things we are told that we need to do at some point and if we don’t, that it says something about our character. The one who forgives is the one who has had wrong done to and it takes a lot for someone to give forgiveness after all that has been done. So here, Natsuo says that he can not forgive Endeavor because he is not as caring as Shouto but I feel like there’s also a part of Natsuo that feels like he could be a bad person if he can not forgive. 

Endeavor’s response is to tell him that despite what Natsuo thinks of himself, the fact that Natsuo continues to show up and try to do things that he doesn’t want to do because he cares about Fuyumi and his mother speaks otherwise. Notice the faded background in this panel as well. Btw, here we can see that Endeavor is indeed kneeling in front of Natsuo. They both are sitting on the ground, together, close to eye level but not quite. 

“Your sister loves the idea of being a big happy family... because... that’s exactly what I ruined. She wants that back... she’s so eager to fix everything. And that’s why YOU’RE trying at all. Because you care about how she feels right...?” Each of the Todorokis have different feelings and perspectives about Endeavor. For example, Fuyumi wants to be a “big happy family” which Endeavor acknowledges and claims responsibility for ruining. Even though Natsuo may not want what Fuyumi hopes for, he still comes to visit home despite if Endeavor is there because he cares about his sister. 

“Because you ARE caring. So...” Endeavor states that Natsuo is a caring person. He’s been watching what Natsuo will do for Fuyumi and his mother because of how much he cares about them. Another thing that stands out to me in the English translation is that Endeavor says, “Because you are caring” not just “You are caring.”

Shout out to the guy in the car (o_o)

“You’re getting yourself to be able to forgive him. Because you’re so caring.” In response to Endeavor’s counter that, no Natsuo IS caring, Natsuo responds to this by thinking back to Midoriya’s earlier conversation with Shouto when they were cleaning up the dishes after dinner. Midoriya is someone who does not know about the Todoroki family situation as much as we may but he knows Shouto: his classmate and friend. However, we see that Natsuo overheard those words and I think it made him feel like he wasn’t a good person because he feels like he does not want to or can forgive.

We get a closer angle and view of Natsuo and Endeavor sitting on the ground. Again, the fact that Endeavor is kneeling may be why the guy in the car has the expression they have. So I kind of went looking around to see what the way Endeavor is sitting is called and I think the closest would be the seiza pose. 

Seiza, is the formal way of sitting down based on ancient Japanese standards. In Japanese, Seiza is very aptly translates to “sitting with a correct posture.” In a historical context, the correct posture is defined to have neatly-folded legs and an erect spine. One’s feet must be neatly tucked in place, underneath the body. 

The Japanese consider Seiza with only the highest of regards, as it represents two important values in Japanese culture: courtesy and apology. They believe that Seiza is an essential tool to channel those specific values. 

Another important representation that Seiza upholds in Japanese culture is that it serves as a symbol of apology. Someone who wishes to ask for an apology may place his or her hands in front, with the head lowered down. This form of apology is referred to as “dogeza.” This serves as a position of submission, having one accept his or her mistakes (yabai). 

The picture below is depicting someone in the seiza pose, apologizing. 

This ties in to how Endeavor and the Todorokis live more “traditionally” compared to other characters. We’ve seen the traditional Todoroki house and Shouto’s dorm room at UA as well. Earlier, we saw Endeavor with his head bowed towards Natsuo and here he is no longer bowing but he is still in the seiza pose: a symbol of courtesy and apology. It’s a physical sign of sincerity and humility. 

This is how Endeavor is apologizing, even if it is not as direct as some of us would like it to be. And Endeavor tells Natsuo: 

“You don’t have to forgive me.” Endeavor tells Natsuo that he has no obligation to forgive him, even when he is his father. What a way to say it though. “Because you ARE caring. So, you don’t have to forgive me.” It was kind of confusing for me when I first read this chapter. Currently, the only way I can read this is that (1) Endeavor realizes to a certain extent of the hurt and pain that he caused his family and (2) it is because of what Natsuo experienced as a Todoroki and what happened to his brothers, sister and mother that he can not bring himself to forgive his father. He hurts for his family because he cares about them. “You don’t have to forgive me.” 

We get three panels with Shouto, Bakugo and Midoriya listening in on to this conversation. Notice the white, empty backgrounds in all four panels. Usually this is done to highlight a moment that has gravity and weight. This is them processing what has just been said. The bustling city highway and life fades away and we are left with this moment where time feels like its paused. 

Then Endeavor speaks again: “I’m not looking for forgiveness. Just atonement.” We see Endeavor’s left eye, the side of the face that has been scarred after the High End fight. His right eye, the part of his face that has remained unchanged is hidden behind the speech bubble with the words, “Just atonement.” 

Seeing as how Horikoshi likes to intentionally place speech bubbles to hint at something from time to time, I’m wondering what this particular placement might mean. I will touch on this later again, but Endeavor has a habit of hiding and standing off to the side when it comes to his family and past. Additionally, this is the first time we’re looking at Endeavor’s face from the front and not from the side during this conversation with Natsuo (excluding the panel from the first page from this chapter when he’s holding Natuso and Bakugo before the conversation begins). 

What is atonement? According to the first definition that comes up on Google: 

reparation for a wrong or injury

In general religious contexts, it is: 

reparation or expiation for sin 

In Christian theology, it is: 

the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ

So in religious contexts: to receive forgiveness there must be a sacrifice which “atones” for the sin (tastethehoney).

Basically, what I’m trying to point out with the latter two definitions is that this word is often used in religious contexts. I’m assuming that Endeavor is the one referred to as the “The Unforgiven” in the title of this chapter and I think that it’s very interesting that Endeavor’s fire quirk is called “hellflame,” which I’m pretty sure that I can safely say is in reference to the Judeo-Christian/Western concept of hell. 

(Forgive my choice of using a simplified statement here but for the purposes of getting a point across...) They say that those who are not forgiven burn in hell.

“Wow. You got a real way with words... all of a sudden! I know how happy it makes sis, having us all together! But... when I see your face... Those memories come rushing back.” Natsuo’s reply comes from Endeavor’s sudden display of apologizing. And as Natsuo correctly points out, they’re still just words. Words do not mean anything unless actions come with them. He mentions how hard it is for him because the “memories come rushing back.” Even though the life they live now is different from the past, the past keeps coming back. 

“Why do I gotta be the one to come around? Atonement? How’re YOU gonna make that happen?” Again, when someone apologizes or is looking for forgiveness, the person who was wronged or hurt has to come to a certain place to forgive. As we’ve already established, Endeavor is not looking to be forgiven. So this could be Natsuo’s reply to Endeavor’s claims that he wants to change and be better, because it still kind of requires the other party to “come around” as well. Here Natsuo also asks about atonement. Endeavor can not turn back time and do things differently, what’s done has been done. So, how can Endeavor atone, and what will it look like? 

Let’s skip a couple pages to when Endeavor and Natsuo arrive home. 

“I’ve let you shoulder all of that. . . and I stood by while you worked hard. But it’s okay now.” This is referring to how Fuyumi has been planning on welcoming her mother back home. Endeavor states that he’s been standing off to the side, perhaps there is a note of apology as he talks about how Fuyumi’s been working hard by herself. Then he states, that “it’s all okay now.” 

“It’s always the same dream. My whole family’s there, but not me.” So, Endeavor’s thinking back to his dreams of his family’s happiness. He believes that they can only be happy if he’s not there. 

“Because I’m building a new house for you all. One that makes sense for your commutes. And one where you can give your mother a warm welcome back.” He states that he’s building them a new house. One where they can welcome their mother back. This is Endeavor’s idea of what “atonement” might begin to look like 

“If I really care how they feel...” He wants to respect their feelings, and not do something because HE wants to. 

“I’ll remain here.” It seems that Endeavor believes that one way he can “atone” for his family is to remove himself physically from their lives. 

Through this post, am I claiming that Endeavor will be redeemed? No. However, let’s look at what redemption means. According to the first two definitions that comes up on Google, it is: 

the action of saving or being saved from sin, error or evil

or

the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment or clearing a debt. 

There really is not a way Endeavor can “pay the debt” for all the hurt and pain he’s caused. 

So that was a lot but I’m going to point out some things here. Yes, Endeavor is in a position where he is acknowledging the past, and he seems to have begun taking more responsibility for it. He states that he is not looking for forgiveness and is only looking for atonement. However, similar to how he neglected his family because he was running away from the blame and did not want to accept the responsibility due to his actions, he is still in a way running away from it. His idea of “atoning” includes removing himself physically from his family’s lives, partially because he wants to be considerate of his family’s feelings and partially because he believes that they can only be happy if he’s not there. He could be right, but I disagree. 

As many others have stated before, it seems that part of the answer to atonement lies with Todoroki Touya. As I suggest in the Ra post, there were two outcomes of the High End vs Endeavor fight: 1) Endeavor, the public hero establishing himself as the Number One Hero and 2) Todoroki Enji as a father beginning to accept the past and its responsibilities (again, although to what extent is debatable). 

The fight concludes with Endeavor’s first official meeting with his son, Touya as Dabi. To accept and address the past and its responsibilities, Endeavor’s been taking a passive approach to “atone” partly because he’s kind of treating the past as only the past. 

In Chapter 290, titled “Dabi’s Dance,” where we get the Touya reveal, Dabi finally is able to call Endeavor out: "You were finally number one! It’s all you ever wanted! But it must’ve weighted on you, right?! Or was all the praise and admiration like chicken soup for your soul?! When at long last, you could stare your kids in the eye... didja finally start to feel the warm and fuzzy bonds of family?! You must’ve thought, ‘As long as I face the future, I can be better!’ I can tell you’re at a loss for words, so here’s the answer!” 

Being Touya, Dabi’s existence brings the past right back to the present. Endeavor can not keep responding in a passive way, dodging the past even if it weighs heavy on his mind and heart. 

I suppose this is where the real test of atonement begins. 

[masqueradeofmimicry]

Hello, Icarus! Please infodump to me about Danganronpa?

okay so! I had written out a whole thing but then tumblr deleted it! so that was fun! /s but now that I know what I'm going to write it's much easier, so that's good 😌

n e ways, I'm gonna do like a basic timeline w explanations and some other stuff that hopefully I'll remember once I start writing!! so let's go :D

a list of everything danganronpa in chronological order (not the order that you should play/watch the stuff in, I'll put that in the explanations)

Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak High School - Despair Arc (DR3) - second anime, watch along with the Future and Hope arcs after playing the first two games (and UDG if you want to). backstory for the cast of the second game.

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (THH) - first main game, play first. also has an anime that's basically the same as the game, but since there's not enough time to put everything from the game into the anime I definitely recommend playing the game. high school students from a prestigious school trapped in said school are forced to play a killing game, hijinks ensue.

Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls (UDG) - third game, not main. play after playing the first two games. very different game mechanics from the main three, and widely considered not cannon by the fandom. I like it though, and it introduces a lot of really interesting characters along with giving a v underdeveloped character from the first game a lot more character development. it's not necessary to play it (though one of the characters plays a pretty big part in the third anime, so that would make more sense if you already knew her), but I think it's interesting and fun. there are also robot fights.

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair (DR2 or SDR2) - second main game, play after playing the first game. same basic premise as the first game, except it's a different class (same school though) and this time they're on an island. even more hijinks and plot twists than the first game.

Super Danganronpa 2.5: Komaeda Nagito to Sekai no Hakaimono - (I could only find the Japanese title for this one, sorry 😔) kinda also part of the second anime? watch after playing the first two games (and UDG if you want) and watching DR3. character is woken up from a coma via overdramatic and overpowered other character.

Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak High School - Future and Hope Arcs (DR3) - second anime, watch along with the Despair arc after playing the first two games (and UDG if you want to). aftermath of the first two games.

Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony (DRV3) - third main game, fourth game in total. I don't actually know when it happens bc they're v secretive about everything, so I'm just putting it last. play last. same premise as the first two, the class is trapped in a school with a courtyard and a huge sort of dome around everything. peak hijinks, too many plot twists to count.

woo!! that's the timeline as I know it, hopefully I didn't miss anything. and I have managed to remember what else I was going to say, so let's move on to section two:

the mechanics of the games

danganronpa is, at its core, a glorified visual novel. every character has a certain amount of sprites for when they talk, as well as voice lines that aren't usually the exact text on the screen but fit the vibe of whatever they're saying. and as I've said before, there's quite a lot of talking. these games have more plot than should really be possible and most or all of it is done through dialogue. cutscenes and class trials are the only parts that are reliably fully voice acted, but there are a lot of those.

as for the parts that are less visual novel-y: you can walk around, and the settings are pretty much as 3d as the 2d-ish style of the game allows. you can also click on things, and sometimes clicking on stuff will get you monocoins, the currency of the game, which means you'll be able to buy presents for the characters!!

"now why do I need presents for the characters?" you ask. well, that's because you're given a certain amount of free time each game to hang out with characters you want to get to know better! the game's ending is fixed, so you won't change the course of the game by who you do or don't hang out with, but you can learn more about characters and become closer to them! giving them presents they like makes them like you more :D

and the most exciting part of danganronpa, what a lot of people play the games for, the true lure of the game.... the class trials!!

so these characters are in a killing game, right? basically, they're faced with a sort of lose-lose predicament: stay trapped in the school forever, or kill one of your classmates to "graduate". but it's not as simple as that, because in order to graduate, you can't be caught. and how do you determine whether or not a criminal has been found out? well, a trial of course!

enter the class trials. every student (barring dead or severely wounded ones) is required to participate in a kind of mock trial- except someone's really dead, and they need to find the murderer or they'll all die too.

(right, did I forget to mention that? only one person can graduate. getting out alive insures that none of your classmates get the luxury of doing the same.)

so, yeah. the class trials are a true fight for life on both sides, because who ever loses will be executed.

and they're really, really fun.

entirely voice acted! enough minigames that the list of them is probably longer than this entire post! the joy of solving the mystery! the... execution, right in front of everyone.

hey, it's a dark game. not like they're trying to hide that. and the executions aren't actually all that gory most of the time, but they're still very much there and onscreen. also as close to fully animated as the games ever get, which is pretty cool.

so how the class trials work is this:

there's a murder. dun dun duuuun. you investigate everywhere related to the murder to get "truth bullets", which are the reason you don't immediately fail at the trials. you don't have to remember all of them, they're all written down in your e-handbook. plus, the protagonists all seem to have really good memories.

time for the actual class trial!! Monokuma (asshole bear running the killing game) introduces everything, explains the rules. and everyone starts talking.

there are a lot of different parts to the class trial, but most of it is "nonstop debates". everyone talks one after the other, and you have to find inconsistencies and shoot the right "weak spot" with the right truth bullet. you refute the lie or mistake and everyone goes back to arguing normally.

there's also hangman's gambit (weird hangman to find a key word), multiple choice things (self-explanatory), and plenty of others.

near the end of the trial (or sometimes only a little over halfway in, it varies), the killer will.... kind of become obvious. there's a specific kind of change in behavior that's the mark of the murderer in these games, but I'm not sure how to describe it exactly. a lot of times there's an accent change, and in general they start acting much more erratic. since it's a trial, though, even after this presents itself you still have to prove your case beyond reasonable doubt.

and once it's become clear to the killer that they're backed into a corner, you have to do the "bullet time battle". it goes by different names in different games, but the basic mechanics are the same: you battle against a student (usually the killer, but not always) in a rhythm-based battle where you have to click to the rhythm to refute your opponent's statements. once you've dealt enough damage, you shoot the final piece of evidence, and that's the end of it.

the murderers react differently different times. sometimes they break down and confess. sometimes they keep denying it. sometimes, they're just calm. however they act, though, the end is the same. they are caught and punished accordingly.

but before that, there's one more thing to do. the closing argument.

your final task is to explain how the murder was committed, from idea to execution (look, a pun! see I can be funny too 😌). and you have to do it... as a manga.

you don't have to draw the whole thing yourself ofc- you just have to fill in the missing panels and then watch as the protagonist narrates it to the rest of the class.

and that's all for the class trial, not counting the long talks after every execution while still in the courtroom.

wow, this is getting...... really, really long. there's only one more thing I'm gonna add, and I promise it will be much shorter than the other two bc it is late and I am officially Incredibly Fucking Tired.

with no further ado, a very short part three:

my general impression of the game. its vibes or smth, I dunno this is just what i think about it

when I first heard of danganronpa, I thought it was a horror game. I can now assure you that it is not. thriller? maybe. debatable. but definitely not horror.

and despite its extremely dark premise, this game is not all doom and gloom. there's so much stuff about hope, and overcoming despair even when it seems impossible... it's not exactly a happy game, but there's a lot more of that in there than you'd probably expect.

all in all, I love this game. so much. it means a lot to me, and I think it's a really good game. thanks for letting me talk about it so much asdhfd :D

[treechangeseachange]

The return

It’s coming up to 3 months since we returned to our block and it took us 8 weeks to slow down. On the weekend we slowed down we enjoyed the first official Friday night catch up with our neighbours as the full moon rose. On Saturday we went out for brunch. No sport on Sunday morning meant a sleep in. I played handball with my boys for the first time ever in my life. Lamb shanks slow cooked on the wood heater. We squeezed in a late Sunday afternoon fishing trip. It took us 8 weeks to find some calm. We had forgotten how to do normal. I haven’t written for this blog since um wow December?! My leisure time since then has been extremely limited and when it occurred I prioritised my mental wellbeing and sleep.

This journey has brought me to the edge of my psychological and physical limitations. I watched my husband do a terminator style non stop renovation while trying also to commence a rebuild. His promises to take time off over Christmas dwindled to 2 days. There was so much to do. I helped with whatever jobs I was able to and then focussed on the household and occasionally, our boys. Midway through January this year we realised trying to work on both the renovation and the rebuild was insanity. The local real-estate market was booming. Post COVID, Sydney city dwellers realised they could put in a few days in the city then work from their coastal holiday pad the rest of the week. We decided to get our investment property, come bushfire haven, onto the market before the summer ended. We mapped out each remaining job and the days required to accomplish them. We calculated selling time, settlement time and remaining bank balance. What were need to do’s and what were optional extras. If everything went to plan, we could pay to get some work done at the block and make it habitable enough to move into. It was an extreme test of time, energy and resources.

It worked. We listed by the end of February, sold in three weeks and settled five weeks after settlement. I write that all in one glib sentence. Of course all of that only happened with considerable focus and effort. Life for the boys was hectic. 99% of their toys were packed and moved into storage weeks before the house went on the market. As the house neared completion we stressed about them damaging something. When the house was on the market we stressed about them getting things dirty - the walls, the windows or the cupboards. I banished them from the bathroom, they had to brush teeth in the laundry and shower outside. Luckily it was warm and didn’t rain much in those few weeks! Anyone who has sold a house while living in it knows how painful open homes are. The logistics and effort of cleaning and styling, while working full time from home, scheduling everything between work appointments, getting the dog out of the way and the boys to school, nearly broke me. Thankfully the selling process was short, but we packed a lot of opens into that time and by the end of it all, I had become a shouty, grouchy mum and wife. It was also a real highlight to hit menopause and bring some phenomenal hormonal energy into the mix. Phew.

Before we packed up and left I was lucky enough to have a week away with the boys. My fully wired self hit Melbs and my family gave me refuge and forgave my intensity. We managed some fun and the change of scenery was a big relief. Husband, however, stayed behind to work on the temporary shed home. Holiday behind me, I returned to packup and clean and polish the house for the financial return of our lives. Literally.

Can you then imagine our triumphant and spectacular return to our block bathed in happiness and light? Um well perhaps instead picture this - we arrived exhausted to an unpowered, work in progress temporary residence in the middle of a mice plague and endured 200ml of heavy rain in four days leaving us surrounded by mud. Happy to catch the rain in our tank? I wish! The new tank leaked 8000L the week before we moved, and only our neighbour’s spare tank loan meant we had any water at all. But being so small, it overflowed and made even more mud. The heavy rain was so loud on the tin roof it frequently woke the kids in the night (who then woke us), mice ran across the floor, huntsmen spiders dropped from the ceiling. With nowhere really to unpack things, cooking became like the biggest ever memory game, which box were the bowls in? Where did I pack the cutlery? The rain delayed our solar power install so for 10 days we lived out of an esky and by torchlight. We both kept working full time, getting the boys to school, after school sport commitments and then husband kept building after he got home and into the night. After a week of stress and chaos we knew something had to give, fortunately husband could take time off work to focus on our build and family life.

Fast forward to now. The financial pressure of the summer has eased. The temporary living quarters are functional and steadily improving. We have a beautiful wood heater. Our off grid solar system is powering us even during these short winter days. I have more kitchen cupboards than ever before, plus a dishwasher! I have hung up my clothes in a full wardrobe for the first time in nearly four years. The boys each have clean new wardrobes. Their separate rooms are still being built so they are in what will be our room which is insulated and wall paneled. We can cope with an outside shower and toilet. My husband is a legend.

What’s it like actually being back? I confess I was nervous about my own and the boys emotions. Eldest son is extremely happy to be back. Youngest son has taken time to adjust but that has more been due to his fear of the dark. The noises of the bush are unfamiliar and there are no streetlights out here! There has only been one time where a prebushfire memory overwhelmed me. Every person’s bushfire experience and recovery is unique. Unlike many others we are fortunate have the opportunity to not have to build on the exact footprint of the old place and I think this is psychologically helpful. It’s not the same space, and with some trees dead and gone the landscape is altered, its a slightly different perspective. The boys are older now, so our lifestyle is different too. Slowly we are finding a new rhythm on our land. The boys are absolutely loving being back on their bikes on bush tracks.

I was excited to resume my morning walks, although maybe not as excited the dog! He’s happy to have his off-lead roam again. But the first week of walking I found tough, the burnt and recovering state forest I traverse didn’t bring me the joy it used to. In the heavily logged areas where only isolated saplings were left unlogged, they couldn’t survive the heat of the fire or they didn’t have community trees to share nutrients through their roots to support recovery. The undergrowth is now the canopy and is booming with all the extra sunlight but when I look at it, all I see is fire hazard. Then as the weeks went by, my view softened, I recognise the bush is healing like me. I am appreciating small wonders of nature. A spider’s web highlighted with morning dew or the fascination of new plants thriving. There are trees that have fully recovered, others seem to be doing well, and there is much green in the landscape to enjoy.

On my morning walk I also see which animals are about in the night from what they leave behind. There is at least one very busy wombat! We see wallabies reasonably often and last week one morning I found big roo prints in the clay right near our place. We hear a boobook owl calling most nights and more frogs chirping croaking from the gully than I ever remember. Which now makes sense, we definitely were in drought for some years prior to the fires and the creek has this year been running for months. Less exciting is hearing foxes at night, my son especially dislikes their eerie calls. In daytime the bird life is altered. We are down to one lyrebird, there used to be two with adjacent territories battling loudly with their extraordinary mimicry. But at least there is one, how a ground bird survived I can’t imagine. The yellow robins aren’t around us now, we have wrens in the cleared spaces and in the lush shrubs busy brown gerygones dart and chirp. A shrike thrush has made a nest in our bushfire remains pile, her song is piercing and wonderful. Rarely are the yellow crested black cockatoos here now. This past weekend we did see two circling wedge tailed eagles the silent assassins of the sky wheeling high over the gully with that phenomenal wingspan.

Surprisingly my greatest source of happiness in these first few months being back has come from the sky. Unobstructed by buildings, the sky feels bigger in the bush. I’m loving the late winter sunrises. My very favourite time is just after the sun has risen when the horizontal sun rays set tops of the trees bright orange. Those are magical minutes of golden tinged trees. The sunsets. The stars. The moon. the sky has been a revelation and a source of happiness. Maybe because I’m spending more time outside I notice it more. Seeing glittering stars through the steam of a hot outdoor shower makes the cold walk inside completely worth it!

Slowly I am regaining my sense of gratitude for this place. The quiet. The privilege of not seeing another house. Having no curtains and that not mattering. Not worrying about noise and neighbours. Lack of street lights at night.

All of a sudden things aren’t hectic and we are settling in. It still amazes me after 6 moves in 5 years how intense moving is and then how imperceptibly things transition to not being new anymore. Normalcy sneaks up on me every time. Clearly this isn’t really normal but we’re enjoying this new start in our old place.

[bonesthebeloved]

You did to me what tsunamis do to homes- Sanders Sides

@lance-alt

Summary: Patton and Remus fuse for an experiment. Then they fuse again. Then they stay fused because Patton wants too. When the others finally find out how bad it is hurting Remus, the damage is already done and they have to deal with the aftermath. Wordcount: 3849 words Relationships: Platonic creativitwins, Romantic Intruloceit. TRIGGER/ SQUICK WARNING: !UNSYMPATHETIC PATTON!, mental abuse, neglection, manipulation, dismissal, swearing, disassociation, shouting, panic attack mention (brief), some plushy and clothes get ripped apart I guess, vomiting, (idk how to tag this but Patton flirts with Roman while he and Remus are fused so that), Crying, food mention. (If I forgot anything please let me know. this is a heavy one and I don’t wanna accidentally hurt people with it.)

Patton being unsympathetic/ abusive isn’t really explained but I don’t have the brain cells for that atm so let’s just say he thinks he can protect Thomas this way and is willing to do anything to ‘keep him safe’ however incorrect he may be.

After this post by @lance-alt (Hope you like it bud.)

They had found out that they could fuse because of creativity. Remus and Roman had finally reconnected enough for them to be friendly with each other again. Baking and making a mess of the kitchen while loudly singing Disney songs at 10 am, sitting on the couch together to watch crappy horror movies and laughing at how terrible the special effects were. Dancing in the living room to Panic! at the disco, with energy so high it could match Patton’s when he had too much sugar.

When Remus had grabbed his brother to spin in circles, the soul reason just being him simply wanting to do so now that he could, when something had happened.

Bright light and they both weren’t quite themselves anymore.

A stumble as they looked down. The floor much further away and their body not quite theirs.

It had been exciting, to be the King again. Remus had made them hug themselves and Roman had spun them around before both of them made them run towards Patton’s room.

When they unfused again there had been confusion.  When they fused again Logan had conducted an experiment.

And now Remus was in the logical traits room. Fidgeting his thumbs while Patton picked some music. It wasn’t the duke’s preference. He liked something more upbeat. Something edgier. But Patton had picked the music and this was only for an experiment so he didn’t argue.

Besides. He did not want to get on Patton’s bad side.

The dancing was awkward and so was the fusion. It didn’t feel quite right. Unlike being Romulus where he and his brother just shared the mind and looked through the same eyes, they were in a room. Two chairs in front of a big screen and a control panel. It had been a little odd. But not bad perse so he’d let it slide. Maybe Patton just liked it like this. He didn’t mind. Simply wasn’t used to it yet.

Not that he had to get used to it. This was a one-time thing after all.

When they unfused Logan had been ecstatic. Already asking Patton so many questions about how it had felt and set up a meeting for them to fuse as well so he could witness it first hand.

Remus was dismissed with the wave of a hand. Leaving the room confused and not feeling quite right.

- 

They had fused again after a few days. Patton coming to him with a smile and an offer to try it again because ‘it felt so funny! didn’t it? I think you’re my favourite person to fuse with Remus!’

And Remus couldn’t have known that Patton had only tried it with Logan. Remus couldn’t have known what ‘letting Patton steer the ship’ for a while could have let too.

They were fused the whole day. And inside the room, Remus had sat back. Patton needed time to learn how to properly control their body. And, as he already had experience with fusing with Roman, he let him figure it out, repressing the odd feeling that came with not being himself.

And when they unfused in the evening, Remus too tired to do anything else than simply plop on his bed and fall asleep, Patton said goodbye and that they should do that again sometimes.

A few weeks later and they were barely unfused. 

They only separated when it was time to go to bed. Too tired to do anything else and slowly forgetting how to do anything else but sleep and wake up to Patton knocking at his door.

One of the two chairs in the room had disappeared. Remus never sitting on it.

Instead, he said in the corner of the room, trying to ignore the feeling of his limbs moving and touching things even if he sat still himself. Trying to ignore the feeling of their body eating and talking and communicating while he was silent.

 At first, he had been trying to pitch into their decisions. But after Patton had made them rip apart the octopus plushy that Roman had gifted his brother on their birthday, threatening to destroy more of his precious belongings if he didn’t work with him, he had settled down.

Remus now barely moved when they were fused. Arms wrapped around his legs, staring blankly at the opposite wall, trying to tune out the sensations and sounds. Trying to not look at himself being so…not himself.

A few months had passed and Patton made their body lay down onto Remus’ bed every time they unfused because Remus couldn’t remember how to move his limbs without somebody else doing it for him

-

When Logan walked up to them after three months of nonstop fusion, Remus had lifted his head to look up at the screen for the first time in weeks.

“Hey, Pathos.” He disliked that name. But Patton had picked it for them and arguing had only led to Virgil’s old jacket, which he had used as a comforter for when everything got too much, being burned right in front of their eyes. Remus not even having a chair or the power to do anything but watch, tears streaming down his cheeks. Mouth sealed shut because he wasn’t the one that did the talking.

“I know it’s none of my business but I can’t help but ask, don’t you think it might be unhealthy to stay fused all the time? I know you’ve told me that you get things done easier like this, yin and yang and so on. But I also know that it is easy to lose your sense of self in things like this.”

“Oh Logan, thank you so much for worrying about us,” Patton spoke. Remus had lost the ability to flinch at that point. Simply keeping his head low, his body stiff, staring at the wall opposite of him. It had begun to change colour in the last few days.

“And it hasn’t been easy. Believe me, it hasn’t been. Remus and Patton are very different people after all.”  Remus’ only response was the twitching of his pinky. On the inside, he was screaming, yelling, hoping that Patton had finally seen the error in his ways. 

“Remus really wears on Patton sometimes. With all of his crazy ideas and violent tendencies.” Oh.

“But They’ve found their peace like this. Like me! I think they’re better off like this. And isn’t everything more peaceful now that Remus is under control? Don’t you think it’s better this way?”

Logan looked taken aback by the negative talk towards one of the components of the fusion. Though he didn’t comment on it. Simply nodding, shrugging it off and going about his day while Remus was left in the room with Patton. Trying not to listen to the moral sides thoughts in his head. Trying to get them away from his own. Trying to not think.

Patton just walked them to a mirror. Staring right at it before he spoke.

“You really thought he was going to help you? They know you’re wrong Remus. And if this is the only way for me to keep you away from them then I will carry that burden with pride.”

No. He hadn’t wanted to be free. He hadn’t. Because that would be bad and he wasn’t bad. He wasn’t- “You can’t lie to me, Remus. Or did you forget that I can hear your thoughts as well?”

Remus turned his head again. Retaking his staring contest with the wall opposite of him.

The wall was getting patchy. spots of green and blue interrupting the evenly coloured cyan wall like the wallpaper was coming off.

-

The fusion got more unstable. With Roman coming up to them to confess that he missed his brother and Virgil crying during a panic attack because he wanted Patton to comfort him but the idea of Remus being there too made his skin crawl.

Logan had begun to figure out what he thought was going on. Pathos seemed too put together. Too nice and cheerful and pg to have them both equal parts controlling him. He didn’t swear. Didn’t make a mess, didn’t do anything like Remus but rather was just a slightly more excentric and charismatic version of Patton.

And that night Remus hung above the toilet. Retching as wave after wave of sick clattered into the toilet bowl. The memory of Patton controlling their body to flirt with his brother making him physically ill. A new wave of bile rising up at the memory of how he had them smile of the thought of Pathos with his brother. Of how Patton’s thoughts about his brother had mixed with his own. Of how uncomfortable Roman had looked until nothing but stomach acid was left and his throat stung and the taste of sick had to be washed away with mouthwash.

The wallpaper was peeling more each day. The corner opposite him now almost fully green and blue. 

Virgil had avoided touching them. Stopping his hushed conversations with Logan each time Pathos walked into the room. Eyeing them with suspicious than slowly grew into anger. And Remus felt one of the last strings that attached him to the others snap when they cut up his usual outfit that night. Patton’s anger and sadness at making his best friend this upset coursing through him. Feeling the self hate and hate for him rip at his chest as the sash was cut to pieces. The eye attached to the outfit ripped off and stomped on.

He wasn’t sure which were his own feelings anymore.

The wallpaper was halfway off now. Green and blue replacing Cyan walls. Remus focused on the green parts and silently wished for freedom. When Patton threatened to drown his pet rat he numbed the thoughts until only Patton’s own remained.

Deceit hadn’t spoken to them for an entire month. Though he and Logan were together a lot. Always talking or holding up papers. Always quieting down when they entered the room.  When Pathos had confronted Deceit and had wanted to judge him for not communicating with them and say that he could at least be civil, Deceit had actually hissed at them.

“I’m not speaking to you until you give me my friend back Patton.” 

Remus had cried that night. Patton having left him on the bed as always. Unmoving. Unresponsive to the almost freezing temperature in his room and the fact that he couldn’t use his blanket to get warm because it had been ripped to pieces.  He laid there the entire night. Tears simply streaming down his face as he stared at the wall he was facing. The grey colour of it a nice change to the usual green and blue that had completely taken over the room.

Unmoving when Patton broke his mirror the next morning when they fused again and he had felt tired and cold.

Roman had begun to look at them strangely. His expression was so sad that Remus could feel the hurt from where he was sitting. His brother had stopped talking to them all together after the conversation they’d had. Remus had gotten enough of his willpower back from hearing his brother begging them to un-fuse, to please have his brother back, to finally take action.

They were having dinner when it happened.

Pathos had called all the sides to the dinner table. Wanting to spend some time with all of them because ‘we never talk any more kiddos!’

They were holding the pot of spaghetti, about to put it on the table when they froze.

Virgil cursed loudly when the hot spaghetti dropped onto his lap and arms. Though cursed even louder when he looked to the side and saw the pot lying on the ground and next to it, gripping their head and slowly being consumed by light, was Pathos.

“Stay together! I’m not letting you leave!” A voice, sounding more like Patton’s then the one they had gotten used to coming from the ball of light. All of the sides having jumped up, Logan and Deceit ushering the other two back. Holding their arms out protectively.

“It’s better like this! We’re better like th-” “No!”

And with Remus’ voice, hoarse and terrified sounding, echoing through the room, one silhouette split into two.

And there were Patton and Remus. Patton quickly jumping up from his place on the ground and staring down at Remus with fury in his eyes. His usual outfit on like always. Fists bawled, teeth gritted. Furious.

Patton was about to open his mouth to say something to Remus when he was stopped by a hand gripping his arm. He whipped around to see Logan shake his head. Holding back Deceit, Virgil and Roman with his other arm. The three of them looked ready to kill.

“Go,” Logan said simply. It wasn’t comforting. Wasn’t even a warning. No, with the cold tone and cold eyes and arm holding back the other three it sounded more like a threat than anything else.

Because Remus didn’t look well.

Remus lay curled up on the ground. Not having moved a muscle since they un-fused. Arms around his legs and head bowed down slightly. Eyes staring at something they couldn’t see. Wearing an old t-shirt and joggers instead of his usual outfit. Muscle mass almost completely was gone.

Roman’s vision what white with anger, breath uneven and harsh as he tried to calm himself. Deceit was visibly shaking and Virgil had run out of the room as soon as they knew for sure that Patton had locked himself in his own one. Logan was frozen in place for a good few seconds, snapping out of it as soon as Roman rushed passed him, dropping down to his knees next to his brother.

“Remus? Remus, it’s me! Can you hear me?”

The only response he got was a tear slipping from his brother’s eye. No movement. Rising and falling of his chest the only thing moving his body.

“What the fuck did he do to you…?” Came Deceit’s whisper, coming to sit next to Roman on the floor and lifting Remus’ head up slightly to lay it on his lap.

When Deceit began to carefully card his fingers through grimy hair Remus’ pinky twitched.

“He’s getting back his responses. Keep going.” That was Logan, kneeling down at Remus’ feet and putting a hand on the side’s ankle to show that he was here.

Another twitch.

When Roman carefully wrapped his arms around his brother and leaned his head onto his arm Remus did a full-body shiver and his gaze dropped.

Remus moved his hands. And after repeating the same gestures a few times Logan realised that he was using sign language. “He’s signing your name Roman.” And Roman burst into tears.

“Yes! Yes, Remus, I’m here! We’re all here okay? Logan, Dee, all three of us are here for you okay?”

‘Deceit?’ he signed

The ghost of moralities thoughts swirled in his head. Mixed together with his own so much so that he didn’t know which were his own anymore.

A part of him said Deceit was bad. Evil, wrong, bad, snake, liar.

Another part wanted to simply be held by his long term friend and short term crush. Wanted to be comforted like he would have been had none of this happened.  Wouldn’t Deceit have seemed scared to touch him like he would break if he did something wrong.

‘Tired,’ is what he signed instead of the thousands of words he’d been wanting to say. And the three of them seemed to understand.

So Logan picked him up. And Remus tried to ignore the panic that shot through him at being touched so suddenly. Tried to ignore the feeling of wanting to be closer and of knowing that he also felt something for Logan because that would be too complicated. 

And when they entered his room he tried to ignore his twisting stomach when all three of them gasped. Deceit insisting he tells them what had happened. Why it looked so empty.

‘He made us destroy it. Had to behave.’ He signed. Happier than anything that he had taken the time to learned to sign a few years ago.

“He…what?” “What is it? What did he say?” Roman pressed Logan, the logical side carefully laying Remus down in his bed, summoning a blanket that was clearly his own and putting it over the creative trait before answering the question. Looking at Deceit and Roman, a frown carved into his face.

“He said that Patton made them destroy his belongings so he would behave.” “He WHAT?!” Deceit roared. And the lump on the bed jumped at the loud noise. 

“I’m going to tear that fucker apart!” “Deceit wait! That wouldn’t do him any good right now,” Logan tried to argue. Trying to calm down the fuming Deceit.

It seemed to help a bit. Dee sitting down on the bed next to Roman and holding his head in his hands while Logan summoned a comb and slowly began to work through the knots.

For now, they just had to make sure Remus was alright, Deceit decided. He’d get Patton back for this eventually.

 -

The aftermath of the abuse (because Logan had said, that’s the only way to describe this,) was heavy.

Remus had to learn how to move on his own again. Seemingly having completely forgotten that he had to move his own limbs after such a long time of not being in control. 

Logan had, after a long conversation with Remus where not a word was spoken, reported back to the other two to tell them that his muscle mass had declined so much because he had barely moved, if at all, in the last few months.

He had to learn how to walk again. They got him crutches once he could properly lean on his arms again and watched him hobble around the new common room.

Patton had moved his room to another part of the imagination. If he was too ashamed or too stubborn they didn’t know. They still made videos together. But Remus never showed up. Leaving Deceit to fill in his place. He and Patton were never in the same video and the conversations Patton had with the others were short and harsh. 

Virgil was indecisive. He and Remus had never gotten along. But as soon as Logan had told him what had happened he felt sick every time he saw Patton.

So Virgil moved to the grey. The neutral part of the imagination where nobody ever went to and that nobody could find unless you weren’t looking for it. He came by on occasion. Talking with Logan or Roman, bickering with Deceit. But it wasn’t quite the same as it had once been.

Roman and Deceit both went and taught themselves sign language. Roman wanting to be able to communicate with his brother once they had realised that he seemed to have completely forgotten how to speak and Deceit wanting to be there in any way possible.

Remus was able to walk again after a month of practice. Wandering around the living room and swinging along gently when music played.

He worked out together with his brother. His strength returning slowly until he was able to enter the imagination again to go on a quest together with Roman.

He grew closer to Deceit as he had ever been. When they finally decided to put a label on things it had felt natural and nothing had changed.

Half a year later and Remus admitted to having fallen for Logan as well. Tears streaming down his face and fingers shaking as he signed the message. 

And Deceit had hugged him and kissed his tears away. Telling him that it was alright and that they could figure this out. And after a month or two Deceit announced that he wouldn’t mind Logan joining their relationship. Roman just happy for his brother and his friends and baking them a cake for the occasion.

And not everything was alright.

Remus wore soft sweaters and leggings. Refusing to put on the outfit Roman had remade for him. 

And they never baked and made a mess of the kitchen while loudly singing Disney songs at 10 am again because the ghost of the thoughts was still present and he refused to make any noise before he was certain everybody was awake. Never sat on the couch together to watch crappy horror movies and laughing at how terrible the special effects were because the voice of Patton was scowling at him that these people had put effort into this movie and ‘why would you mock something like this when everything you create is so much crueller?’ Never danced in the living room to Panic! at the disco, with energy so high it could match Patton’s when he had too much sugar because his mind told him that acting like that was foolish and a waste of his brothers time. 

He didn’t speak his mind like he had done before. Only said what was necessary. No vulgar or odd thoughts. No weird or exciting ideas. Nothing because he had been convinced that it was wrong. That he, his whole nature, his whole being, was wrong.

Remus understood then that Patton didn’t fuse with him because he liked it or wanted to help him. Morality wanted nothing more than to break him.

But life went on and healing was a slow and painful process.

When, after nearly a year of silence, Remus spoke his first words, his boyfriends and his brother had hugged him close while crying happy tears. 

And when, after nearly a year, his brother invited him for movie night again he had agreed.

And when, after nearly two years, he didn’t flinch anymore when somebody made a sudden gesture towards him nobody said anything but he knew they noticed.

And when, after nearly two years, the voice in his head that wasn’t his and the thoughts that weren’t his own began to quiet down, he didn’t say anything. Though his boyfriends noticed that he slept better. And his brother noticed that he spoke his mind from time to time.

And when, after nearly two years, he was dancing to Panic! at the disco in the living room with energy so high it could match Logan’s when talking about the stars, he felt that, though nothing would be the same again, though nothing would ever be quite whole again, he might be able to be okay again.

-

So Uhm… Here ya go?  This was extremely heavy even for me so I’m sorry I guess?  A very quick thing for all the Patton stans that are gonna come for my chins after this: I love him a lot. I love all of them a lot. I just, at the moment, think unsympathetic Patton is interesting to write.

Anyways. Hope this is kinda what you imagined Lance? Yeh. Okay. Bye.

-

Idk if I should put my taglist (I’m gonna but I hope y’all are mindful of the warnings and tell me if you wanna be excluded from heavier stuff/ removed.)

Taglist: @purp-man @crazycookie13o @deceitifullies101 @sapphire-knight @ragingdumpsterfiremess @chronophobica @lance-alt

[spnsmile]

Cas will smite everyone who insults Dean's freckles

Yes yes he will! No questions asked! 👀

But shit just went down here, anon! Still sweet end, don't worry ✨ For you 😅

--------------- 👀

Castiel likes it when Dean is honest with himself. 

Since their first kiss, their first night, both confessing how they always wanted each other in every way, Castiel made Dean agree they both stop their 'wishful thinking' and start doing as they please. They wasted time dancing around each other, Castiel is not about to condition Dean on his own wants. He wants Dean. Permission was given. Castiel trusts Dean and that's about everything they needed to know.

So he likes it when Dean steals kisses while in the middle of a stressful hunt. Likes it so much when Dean entwines their hands while doing manual research. Best, of course, is when he can pin Dean on the wall without much as a blink. Gets thrilled when Dean pushes his chair and straddles his lap without warning.

It happens anywhere in the Bunker: the library, the kitchen, even the upper entrance where they set the chessboard game. He loves Dean's honesty, it makes his whole face brighten and make Castiel feel like sunshine is flooding his soul.

So it's true. Honesty is the best policy. Except for Sam. Sam needs limits. Sam says he needs his peace of mind so honesty is not for all. Sam who caught them by the ham radio panel once, twice by the telescope too- needs his rules. They had to make sure Sam is safely out of the way.

So when Dean stands up from his chair and walked to him while Castiel sits on the couch by side table, Castiel smiles too. Sam is out for the night. And Dean wearing his cheeky little grin and twinkling green eyes suggestively makes Castiel's invisible broken wings to flutter in excitement.

Dean takes the book from Castiel's hand and threw it away. Angel's eyes follow where it landed (in case he needs to retrieve it before a dog eats it) before falling on his knees. Castiel watches Dean, mesmerized as he unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. Their eye contact is glazed and intense when Dean looks up before kissing the tip of its head.

Castiel exhales for the blessing. Leaning back on the chair, he cards his hand on the hunter's hair. Dean is beautiful. Much beautiful with cheeks flushed and lips wrapped around his cock. But it's not this that gets Castiel staring fixedly. 

"I love them. Your freckles."

It's the first time he's said it. 

Also, first time to see Dean glare up to the angel's surprise. His movement did not cease but the pacing grows bolder and quicker that Castiel is throwing his head back breathlessly,  fingers digging on the hunter's hair till he comes. Dean draws more from him, Castiel wonders if its Dean telling him to stop talking.

Dean's lips certainly can and when the hunter smirks at Castiel's wrecked form, the angel thought nothing of it anymore

Until the next hunt.

***

The impala door slams shut, scaring off squirrels on the nearest lawn in the middle of a hot suburb. 

"What's the plan, Samwise?"

"Shut up, Dean. We need this done pronto. We already know the demon's inside the house holding two college students hostage-"

"-who happened to play around with a book of witchcraft and eventually summon an actual powerful demon-" Cas supplies flatly.

"Good times." Dean rolls his eyes.

"Is it?" Cas is confused. 

"Guys, listen," Sam pursed his lips "we still have to know what kind of demon they summon okay? From the description of the mother, the book she saw is ancient-"

"That's my boy remembering all the nerdy stuff." Dean pats Sam's shoulder who scowls. 

"I was thinking they could've summoned an old demonized pagan god which means it's going to be a little tricky."

"Can't I smite it on the spot?"

Dean beams at Cas, full of heart eyes. 

"That's why I love that you're here, Cas. You've no idea of half the shit Sam and I went through when we deal with the old bitch stuff as pagan gods." Cas only squints.

Sam shakes his head. "No, Cas. If we can catch it that's much better. We don't know what happened to the third kid."

"And there's a third kid." Dean sighs. "There's always a third kid. Cas, we can't have the demon ganked until we have the whereabout of the kid, okay?"

"Understood."

"You can smite it when things got out of hand," Sam adds. Castiel relaxes. "Dean will work on the trap downstairs while I tackle it wherever the hell it is."

"Definitely not in hell." Dean snorts humorously but nobody laughed. He scowls.

"Cas can cover the back of the house, Dean can go front while I clear what's the second floor, see if the kids are there. And Dean. Don't kick the door, please." Sam finishes. 

Dean winks at Cas. "Sammy does the search and rescue while we get the tough job."

They do the drill. 

Dean is the first to reach the living room. Castiel hears him kick the door. Rolling his eyes, he walks through the kitchen, searching high and low. But he stops when he feels the evil energy contained in the space ascend so he hurries to Dean.

Dean has it in a devil's trap. It has shed the mortal body to its gruesome true form of bile and wood, an old pagan indeed. Probably after Sam exorcises it. 

The demonic voice did not surprise him he hears it talking to Dean. He hears the threats, the convulsing energy that wants to harm, but when the demon starts cursing at Dean, Castiel steps forward. The demon saw him and yells curses in his direction.

"I got it, Cas," Dean says.

"You?" spits the demon, "Yoke of the yellow eyes with his tongue's mark on your skin, got me? Freckled fuck-"

Castiel's whole form flares with anger. He sees Dean flinch, sees the color drain from his face as the demon went on with insults but it's over in a second. Castiel smites the demon, holy grace exploding in blinding rage. His eyes stay on Dean who blinks at him in surprise. They stand there not talking till Sam appears telling them third kid is not upstairs.

"Cas! I told you we need him!" Sam says, crestfallen at the empty devil's trap.

 "It got out of hand," Castiel says tone leveled. "Dean?"

"Uh... Yeah, yeah out of hand. Let's find thirdy." Dean reverts to his business tone, hunter first mode but Castiel sees through him.

Turns out the third kid is dead.

***

That night when in the safety of Dean's room, after Castiel strips all but the necktie on his neck and granted Dean's fantasy, when the hunter is in a better, relaxed mood, Castiel asks Dean about it. 

Honesty is what they needed most.

"It's not that. I love everything you say, Cas." Dean says with the left arm at the back of his head, the other Castiel's pillow while the angel stared up at him. "I just don't like it getting pointed... During, you know, sex."

"Why not?"

Dean looks away. "I know they don't look good. Not in the dark, not with fire-"

"What? Some mortal you had sex with said it's not?" Castiel couldn't imagine the fire at first, wondering how some one- nightstand can make Dean Winchester doubt the perfection of every part of his body. 

Dean doesn't answer so Castiel pushes himself to look Dean in the eyes. His green eyes look somber and hurt. It confuses the angel.

"Dean."

"It's not exactly mortal." he points out.

"Anna?" Castiel chastises.

"No."

"I can recite all the supernatural beings in the world Dean, both in Alphabetical and numerical order.  Also in symbols even Enochian if you want. So unless you want me to start the vigil-"

"I think you'll get there easy with demon A plus torture, y'happy now?" Dean snaps, turning his body away from the surprised angel.

But Castiel is a bottle of rage. He wants to climb out of bed and charge hell once again. Destroy everyone who made Deam suffer. But this is not about him.

Castiel's inside flounders at the gravity of the meaning. He stares at Dean's shrinking form, his exposed back where he can see the lovely sunspots graced by heaven's light even in the darkness of the room. 

The remark of the demon hits him hard. Even when it's been years, scars of words don't easily heal...

He feels Dean's anguish, can see the brightness of Dean's soul slowly diminish. And it's easy to fall prey to your own demons sometimes, much easier than loving yourself after what happened.

It hurts the angel.

"Dean." he places a gentle hand on the hunter's shoulder possessively, glad Dean isn't pulling away. "Dean, when I put you together from hell when I touched you right here," he squeezes the shoulder, "I cleansed your soul from any damage and residue that hell brought you. That's what an angel's claim means to do. To purify and renew. Any sin you committed before then has been... Um, in your words, turned a clean slate. There was no doubt you came out from there intact and cleansed."

"Let's not talk about it." Dean fumes. "Not in the sack. Don't mention it, please, Cas.."

Castiel looks brokenheartedly at Dean. He rubs his hand gently on Dean's skin before finally pulling the man's back flat on the bed. His heart ached when he sees the blurry green eyes swimming in silent unshed tears. 

Castiel frowns deeper. Dean is beautiful and no kind of demon will ever see that. It takes amount of love to see it. Dean needs to see it. So he leans down. Crawls over the man, their bodies parallel, his knees on each side of Dean's hips and then worships him

Lile how Dean deserves it.

He catches Dean's eyes. Makes Dean see the intensity of his love. Presses a gentle kiss on Dean's eyes, his nose, his cheeks. Dean's lips he brushes with his own. 

"I love them. They are beautiful," he repeats firmly, confidently. 

Dean swallows hard. Castiel crushes his lips on Dean to a bruising kiss, distracting Dean further when he presses their body together, igniting the flame dampened by a cursed memory. But Castiel won't let Dean continue believing his freckles are Taboo. He loves Dean's freckles. Loves everything that is Dean. 

So he repeats it when he touches Dean and makes him come. Repeats it when he takes Dean apart. Whispers it when Dean falls asleep in his arms. Knows Dean starts believing when he says it repeatedly on his ears and Dean smiles.

"I love them, okay?"

Dean pecks on his lips and murmurs, "I love everything you love, Cas."

"That means you."

Dean looks him in the eyes softly. Castiel waits, embracing Dean closer like doing so would keep Dean's heart together. Then-

"Mm kay. I love myself too."

Castiel tucks his face on Dean’s neck. 

"Fuck, Cas - babe, you cryin?"

 It's between that and smiling.

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x06 - Sex and Candy

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Maria’s (Heather Hemmens) investigation into her mother’s disappearance leads her and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) to the home of a mysterious boot maker named Travis (guest star David Anders). Meanwhile, on her journey of self-discovery, Isobel’s (Lily Cowles) night out leads her into the arms of someone unexpected. Finally, after making some major scientific strides, Liz (Jeanine Mason) is dealt a devastating blow. Geoff Shotz directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingrao (#206). Original airdate 4/20/2020.

DETAILS:

Max and Isobel's fight:

Lights start flickering when Max starts getting aggressive and then get brighter as he gets more worked up.

The first attempt to expel it seemed like he was causing an earthquake.  He blew out all the windows in the gym, knocked Isobel down, and there was shaking.  But it didn't seem to go beyond that room - no damage is seen when Michael arrives or around town.

Note, after the earthquake thingie the lights go out 

His hands are doing the electric power thingie and THEN he also grabs the lightning.

I think Isobel used her telekinesis to stop it and then push it away, which seemed to work...but if so then why couldn't Noah do that last season? 

Was it the sheer volume of electricity? There was definitely MORE than with Noah.

Michael uses his telekinesis to manually reset Max's heart.  This is very smart of him. Note that he's using his own heart/pulse to get it right.

They are using the antidote to Liz's serum to try to heal Max's mind. 

Michael says that they've been giving him antidote injections for three days (time jump).

Three days of antidote and no new memories for Max.

Isobel remembered her blackouts within a few hours of getting injected with the antidote in 1x10.

Note: Liz hesitated using the antidote this way in 1x10 because Isobel could still be dangerous and they didn't know about the 4th Alien yet.  There doesn't seem to be a similar hesitation with Max. Because Liz trusts him more? Because him forgetting her is more personal? It's not like there isn't a chance that Max is still dangerous…

Maria arranged a Mexican market in the Pony parking lot to subsidize her income.

Buffy the Beagle is Forrest's dog!

Maria comments that the meteor shower makes animals act strange. And humans too.

Forrest and Maria are organizing an open night mic at the Wild Pony.  Free drinks for performers.

Maria clearly approves of Forrest and Alex getting to know each other.  She smacks Alex for his awkward flirting.

The bootmaker's farm is about an hour outside of town.

The Science:

Kyle and Steph are watching a "surgical separation of craniopagus twins".

Craniopagus Twins = twins attached at the cranium/head. (Aka not a heart surgery).

"Did you know, ever since 1947, twin births in Roswell are higher than the national average? Maybe it's aliens."

Speaking of awkward flirting…. "You're just my favorite person I can't stand."

The Spanish:

Le cambio una bolsa de chiles para mi papá...for the free fries next time you come to the Crashdown.

Liz is bartering.  She says basically, I'll trade you a bag of chiles for my papa for free fries next time you come to the Crashdown. 

Note, the captions for this are wrong and use the Spanish word for grasshoppers instead, but you can clearly hear Liz say chiles. Thanks to @rosaortecho for pointing that out to me.

Max says:

I'm trying to eat clean. Uh, tiene carne seca sin como se dice, preservativos.

He's trying to say, basically, does the jerky have preservatives. 

Quiere carne a sin preservativos?

Basically, you want meat without condoms?

Lo siento. Uh, no lo entiendo.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.

Él quiere decir conservantes.

He means preservatives.

Gracias. Estoy embarazado.

Thank you. I'm pregnant.

Michael asks Max who he's texting. Max says everyone has been messaging him but Cameron is the only one who hasn't responded, which isn't like her.

Wildly curious who he was texting though.  It's not like he's a social butterfly. His mom? The sheriff? Who? As I pointed out to some friends the other day, he spent his 21st birthday getting trashed with his SISTER. This is not a trait of a guy with lots of close friends.

Just as another note, Michael says he ghosted her. When exactly was that? Yes, Max ran out on her in the middle of a handy in 1x03, but they addressed that the next day.  She "broke up" with him in 1x07, but they were still good right up until she left town. 

Isobel:

"Does he seem different to you?"

Alex and Maria playing "Never have I Ever" in the car. Good way to do background on characters.

Maria has never cheated on a boyfriend

Alex has never been in a real relationship. Not even "Kellie Sommer-something".

Alex says that whenever he was with a woman he was trying to disappear.  Except for Sophomore year after Battle of the Bands. Seven Minutes in Heaven in Haley Moore's hall closet. Alex and Maria kissed and it was Maria's first kiss (and boob graze).  She always thought she'd marry Alex. Had to come up with a new plan after he came out. 

Alex says "I did too."

"Kissing you in that closet was the first time in my life that I enjoyed touching someone."

Max picks up Liz for their first date…

Just as a note, Save Tonight was the opening song in the pilot of OG Roswell. During the "oh, Max Evans is staring at you again." exchange between Liz and Maria.  So, it might go well with new beginnings or something ;-)

The Science:

"Psychogenic amnesia limits retrieval of stored memories, but if we light up your limbic system and gustatory cortex with some familiar signals…"

"Your milkshake might bring all my memories to the yard?"

**Note, second reference to this song in the context of Liz bringing Max milkshakes. First was in 1x06 by Isobel. Hmm. 1x06 and 2x06… maybe they should crack this joke in 3x06 too.

"Sometimes when people wake up from comas they have different personalities, different tastes even…"

Everything you ever wanted to know about psychogenic amnesia:

But, my main takeaway is that it's a specific type of amnesia where there's abnormal memory function but no brain damage or other clear cause of it.

Limbic system:

Basically the part of your brain that stores emotion, behavior, and long term memory.

Gustatory cortex:

Basically the part of your brain that processes taste.

Maria compares Michael to Chad because he starts fights and lies.  Alex disagrees and lists ways that he was doing good things:

He lied to protect his family from Alex's family.

He shouldered the burden of a murder he didn't commit for ten years so that Isobel didn't have to.

He pushed Maria away to protect her - which might be a good thing too because of all his baggage. 

First Date:

Max went to Ranch camp one summer and dislocated his shoulder while trying to read Lord of the Rings on horseback. #nerd. 

Liz references the gala as not their first date, but there was also the desert in high school.  I guess she doesn't count that either. 

Side note: Cam and Liz talked about him peacocking in 2x03, but that kinda felt out of character at the time to the Max we knew.  This Max DOES seem like he's peacocking a bit. Got dressed up, taking Liz horseback riding. He admitted to trying to one up whatever they did together before. Just an interesting (to me) observation.

Liz looks panicky when Max suggests truth serum (because Science!Liz probably could make truth serum), but once she realizes he means whiskey she's like, "oh yes, that's fine." Oh Liz… 

Diego details:

They were engaged just last year

Liz left without saying goodbye

Bioengineer 

They were working together on the Denver study

They would come home and keep talking about work

He had ideas to help improve it

They both spoke The Science

He pushed her to get better at The Science

When the funding was cut she realized she loved the work more than him

Liz couldn't figure out how tell him that so she packed her things in the middle of the night, hit the road, changed her phone, and blocked him on Facebook.

**This is the first time LIZ has mentioned social media. Interesting given the crap Maria keeps giving her about it!

Travis and fresh warm milk. What is up with it??

"Nice ring. Does it keep you from burning up in the daylight?"

David Anders introduces himself as Travis.

Just as a point of interest, Maria researched enough to find the bootmaker, figure out where he lives, but she didn't get his name??? 

Vampire Diaries/Originals reference.

Travis says he can't help with car stuff.

The milk was from a cow named Jennifer.  He milked her for the last time today. (Creepy).

Weird contradictory statements from Travis:

"You're the best thing I've seen in a long time."....

"Mm, I'm sorry. So many customers and all their ugly faces get all sewn up and stitched together in my mind."

"Yeah, that's the woman that bought them boots. While back. Nice lady. She paid cash."

Second reference to animals behaving strangely during a meteor shower:

"Meteor shower's got my girls singing a bit off key tonight.  Jennifer, she likes a good lullaby."

"Okay this guy is going to turn us into skin suits." (OG reference? Or just general sci-fi?)

Meteorchella at Planet 7 (Coachella-style party during meteor shower?) with any excuse to add sparkles!

Kyle says he's at Planet 7 because he's trying not to hang out with people from high school.

Isobel says she's trying to have fun without feeling like prey.

Don't think the details of Kyle/Isobel dancing matters all that much, but as a point of amusement I'll share that in the panel on Tuesday night they shared that Lily whispered something different to Trevino on every take...And they got progressively dirtier to the point that she finally felt like she crossed a line and profusely apologized.  Also the lick was a Lily addition. 

Max's confession about killing the drifter:

Kind of an interesting thing, comparing the first version of the drifter story in 1x06 to the 2x06 version. 1x06 was more dramatic, but 2x06 was more personal, I think. 

1x06

"There are moments that define our lives, and there are moments that divide our lives. Incidents that separate us into two different people: who we were before and who we will be after. Forever…One day we were children and the next we were something else. I was a killer. Michael an accomplice.  And Isobel...Isobel was broken."

2x06

"I killed a man once, on a camping trip. This drifter came out of nowhere, attacked Isobel.  I wasn't even thinking. I killed him. With this. I arrest people who kill people. Most of them usually regret what they did. You know, you can just tell that they're forever broken. It's like a piece of them dies with their victims. So when I could feel that darkness, like I had to kill, I wanted Isobel to let me die. Because I couldn't risk hurting even one innocent person. Cause life just wouldn't be worth living."

Kind of an interesting narrative choice to confess to murder on a first date and then have the girl just brush it aside. 

"No, it just hit me why you're so happy and idealistic, and I feel like an idiot. You are that way because you don't remember me. It's a clean slate.  It's like when you got out of the pods with whatever memories you had erased it's probably for your own good."

"Last I heard you were the love of my life."

"Your cohorts, they left out some details. Cause if you had your memories I'm positive the worst thing that's ever happened to you is connected to me. And I can't bear the weight of making you remember that again."

**Note, second time this has been implied.  Last time was by Michael in 1x08 regarding the alien symbol.

"...it's gotta have some connection to us right? Maybe it was something we saw somewhere before the crash."

"Sorry, are you, Max Evans, acknowledging that we must have had lives before we hatched out of the pods? You never want to talk about home."

"Hey, Roswell is home. Look, I'm sorry man. You're right. I've spent a lot of time not talking about where we come from or why we're here.  Keep thinking I can pretend the past away and just be normal. But if Isobel's blackouts are some alien thing, then I need to know more. Okay, and this symbol? That's all I have to go on. I mean don't you think it's strange that we don't have any memories? I mean, no parents, no language. We weren't infants, man. We were seven."

"I just figured our memory faded. Over 50 years in those pods. Maybe it was just time. Or maybe whoever put us in those pods doesn't want us to remember."

Travis and Trevor's house...with added bonus of his ring that Alex comments on.

Leather ribbons/strips on the wall are for (from?) Hayley and Gertrude. More cows, I presume. 

There's also a framed Purple Heart on the wall next to a photo of Travis?

"War really messes with a man's mind.  Gets it all twisted up.

Timeline issue!! Alex says Mimi was missing for 3 weeks, but according to the clearly established timelines in 201-203 it was 4 weeks (or a month ish).  I wrote about this here:

Maria put her jacket on a scarecrow to trick Travis. And did she leave it there?

(Answer: yes. She doesn't wear it for the rest of the episode. Smart of her, actually).

Michael sees Trevor come out of the house and is about to shoot him. Maria immediate knew it wasn't Travis and threw herself in front of Michael's gun

Trevor shoots Travis.

A bullet from the Crashdown shooting falls out of Max's journal.  Does it look like it has blood on it? Or maybe just ketchup? If it's THE bullet it would make a lot of sense that he kept it hidden - evidence that Liz was shot. See this comparison between one of Wyatt's bullets in 1x02 and the one Max finds in 2x06

"Sorry about my twin here. He's had a rough go."

"Combat does not make you an axe murderer."

"No, it wasn't the combat. It was the R&D. If a paramilitary group ever asks you to take part in a study, you run the other way. He showed up a few weeks ago. Locked me up out back. Lucky y'all showed up when you did. Gave me a chance to escape."

R&D is a military acronym for Research and Development. (Aka...The Science.)

Priscilla - the cow Mimi's boots were made from.

This is literally the only direct information gained about the boots from this little sleuthing excursion. 

Well, and that Mimi paid cash, which isn't like her.

Side note - I didn't really know what Paramilitary meant, so just in case any of you are also not good with military stuff, Paramilitary groups are like private armies. Like, I dunno, the private security firm that Jesse and Cam discussed in episode 2x04. 👀

Male doctor operating on Steph clearly states:

"All right we're approaching an arterial junction."

A female doctor replies and its less clear.  What I hear is...Blood gasses are back? Anyone else hear something that makes more sense than that?

He replied something like...the stint through here

She says something about pH levels.

Max admits that he didn't know what would happen when he decided to bring Rosa back.  He just wanted to fix the worst thing that ever happened to all of them.

"I can't believe we were Shyamalan'd by an evil twin."

I think Alex is referring to the twist ending? Or maybe just the insane axe murderer stuff.

M. Night Shyamalan wrote and directed the Sixth Sense, Signs, Split, etc…

During this scene is the first time we see Michael's tattoo… it's on his arm. I struggled with getting a cap of it, but I know there are gifs going around.

I had every intention of detailing the dialogue in the trailer scene, but before I could get to it, Carina posted the script, so I didn't think it was a good use of my time. Here's the script:

The next morning, Alex calls the Sheriff from outside the trailer for an update.

The Sheriff tells him that Travis and Trevor burned their home and ran...weren't caught by the sheriff.  Which means we may not have seen the last of them.

The Spanish:

"Oh my God. Dios mio, Max. I took off your pants before I even said I love you. I'm some kind of zorra."

Dios mio basically is Oh My God! So Liz really was spiraling. She went, "Oh my God, Oh my God..."

Zorra - female version of Zorro. Basically a vixen, bitch, prostitute… the internet has all sorts of fun words that it translates into. 

"I call this one Visceral Werewolf Part 2, dedicated to my boy Chee Chee, may he rest in peace."

Can we have more Bert? Bert is the best. Also kudos to his goofy friend who is wayyy too excited about this.

Forrest's slam poem:

Locked up for days,

Time slipping away,

On my knees I would pray to break free from this cage.

But bargaining for keys, you forget hidden fees.

And wishing for what you’re missing ain’t the same as living the dream. 

And now I’m fighting to stay on this side of the cage.

Even though I know a part of me wishes I’d stayed. 

Ain’t no prophet or rebel or savior or devil

Could have predicted, fought, cheated or leveled. 

A life with potential that’s squandered, 

A comfortable cell is a question I ponder. 

Am I a free man or a prisoner wanderer?

Max's memory flash:

Young Max, chained to the ground as described in 2x03. 

Max looks scared.

He's dressed all in white like the 1947 aliens after the crash (As shown in 1x12 and 2x03).

He's in a cave or something like a cave. 

Holes in the wall are glowing an orangey red color.

The ceiling is like the alien ship material with the alien symbol in it.  

A figure approaches from behind him, bends down, and places a hand on his shoulder.

It mirrors the figure approaching Nora in 2x03 and touching her shoulder before burning the military men...probably the same person? Noah? The stowaway? Someone new?

After the figure touches Max, he looks at the hand, and then a red glow lights his face.

MUSIC:

1. Xocoyotzin Herrera "Esperanza"

2. Jose Luis Lepe "La Carreta"

3. Eagle Eye Cherry "Save Tonight"

4. Lousiana Red "I Done Woke Up"

5. Whissell "Magnetic"

6. Stop Dead "Alchemistress Dance"

7.  Orville Peck "Turn To Hate"

8. Kim Petras "Close Your Eyes"

9. Orville Peck "Queen Of The Rodeo"

10. Moontricks "The Fall"

11. Years & Years "Hypnotised"

12. Jordan Critz Feat. Birdtalker "Through Your Eyes"

This time I couldn't find the Whissell and Stop Dead tracks on spotify - however the Stop Dead track is referenced at being by Chelsea Dawn in the closed captions.  Which I did find. Trying to confirm this. Let me know if anyone else had better luck!

[aurora-the-kunoichi]

Aftermath Part 3 - The Meeting

Sorry for the delay in the release of this next part. Mun has found herself lacking in motivation in writing. I hope you enjoy the next installment in my apocalyptic TMNT story. 

Raphael and Reader

Everything hurt; even your eyelids ached, throbbing red flashes of pain as you tried to peel them open to see where you were, this wasn’t normal. What was going on, why did…..oh….OH….it was coming back in vivid angry snaps of memory. You were fighting off those men on the roof, who came unannounced and dead set on bringing you back to someone, to break you? Those assholes almost had you too before those four giant turtle men came, distracting them. The red banded one’s face flashed before your eyes concerned etched in his features. He had tried to save your dumb ass as you stumbled back in shock. The rotted out opening in the roof, how could you have not been aware of your surroundings? You could hear your mother scolding you in the back of your mind. Idiot!

As the world came rushing back you heard voices, male voices, not good. The fear bubbling up from your gut hoped it wasn’t those men you had encountered on the roof, prayed in fact, which you hadn’t done in years.

“I think she’s coming around?”

“Dudes, you think she’s gonna freak?”

“Can you get back nutball? She’s gonna freak if she wakes up and your ugly mug is inches from her fucking face.”

“Raphael can you please watch your language. We have a guest.”

As the light pierced your vision green became the forefront. Once, twice you blinked as the green blurry masses came into focus. Crystal clear they became, large muscle bound shelled behemoths just a few feet from where you lay. In the back of your mind you had hoped they were a figment of your imagination as you tumbled to your doom, but the four very large, very real man turtles stood around you.

The tallest of the four seemed to be concerned the most, his brown eyes moving behind a tattered purple mask and a pair of tech goggles sat upon his green bald forehead. His upper body well-muscled was sans clothing except for suspenders littered with multicolored patches and an arm band which seemed to hold a working tablet. He had a pack on the back of his shell and a small solar panel perched on the top with a weird pole attached to its side, it looked electric? From what you could see of his lower half he was wearing black cargo pants that held an array of gadgets and unknown gizmos strapped to his narrow hips. His left arm despite green with scales was covered in several all black tattoos that went from his shoulder cap to his pointer finger. His right arm had a nasty looking scar around his bicep, the green scaled flesh faded to white scar tissue reaching from mid bicep to his armpit. By the looks of the damage he had nearly lost it.

The one next to him was the smallest of the bunch but did not lack in bulk, his eyes were a brilliant light blue outlined in orange fabric. The front of his plastron looked carved in intricate designs, scrolling from the top left to the bottom right, but to your trained eye you could see the designs were hiding a long deep gash that had to have been painful to endure. His whole right arm down to the middle of his open side was drenched in vivid pigment and abstract watercolors. Along with a brightly colored octopus on his left shoulder, tentacles running up towards his throat to around his collar bone. His lower half was covered with brown shorts and knee pads and what looked like homemade shoes for his massive feet. And hanging on each swaying hip were a pair of fucking nunchaku?! Nunchaku?

The third was the second shortest but by the way he held himself he was very important, maybe the leader?  His green crown was wrapped in blue silhouetting his vibrant ocean blue eyes, he definitely oozed control. The top of his plastron had the same intricate detailed carvings covering what looked like a jagged gash across his chest moving from the left to just past the middle of the boney plates. The difference in his carvings was the indents looked blackened, enhancing the artwork, making it pop. Across his broad chest sat what look like a holster, black leather with dark blue embroidering running the length of the strap. His lower half was covered by black pants with knee pads protecting his joints with a strap around his left thigh holding an array of blades.

The last was the brute, not quite the tallest but definitely the one who worked out the most. A red bandana covered his whole head draping down to cover the back of his thick neck. His biceps were bigger than your head with dense muscles shifting under the green flesh as he palmed a half eaten apple in his right fist. His plastron had the most carvings covering nearly all his front breast plates besides the lower left section. His wide hips held a belt that slung lazily holding a set of red sais. His bulky legs were covered in dark green camo pants tattered and worn from years of abuse. His feet also adorned specially made footwear because you had never seen such gigantic black boots in your life. You wondered who the shoemaker of the group was.

Slowly you braced your hands under your back and sat up eyeing each mutant warily.

“Careful now, you got a pretty nasty concussion when you fell. Take it nice and easy.” The tall purple one yelped reaching for you out of reflex. When you recoiled, his face fell into a deep frown and stepped back out of your personal space.

You didn’t feel like you were in danger but that didn’t mean that you weren’t. You’re first interaction with humans in 10 years had left a sour taste in your mouth. But these four weren’t really human, were they?

“Umm….did you set up your rig, it’s quite impressive?” the tall one asked obviously trying to break the tense moment between you all. “How did you get the engine to take the solar power?”

You were about to say something but the horror of it hit you, your truck and camper! How long had you been out? Someone could steal all your hard work! Then you’d be stuck here!

The one in blue must have sensed your inner panic and lifted his large green hands in a non threatening manner. “Hey, hey miss calm down. Your truck and camper are safe; it’s down here with us. After you fell and we dispatched Donovan’s men, we brought you and your vehicle down here where they can’t get to it. The reason Donnie is asking because he got to drive it and hasn’t stopped talking about your work for almost 3 hours.”

“Down here? Donnie? Where are we? Who are you? Why did you help me? Donovan’s men?”

“Whoa whoa whoa there, that’s a lot of questions.” The red one chuckled taking another healthy bite from the apple. “By the way, thanks for the apple.” He winked finishing the sweet flesh in one final crunch. “It’s been years since I’ve had one.”

“God damnit Raph.” The purple one moaned in frustration hold his head in his hands. When he lifted his face you could have sworn his green cheeks had a red tint to them. “I’m sorry miss; you are in the sewers below what used to be New York City. I’m Donatello aka Donnie. This one here..” he wrapped his arm around the small but bulky orange banded one pulling him closer. “Is Michelangelo and he’s the youngest of us all.”

“You can call me Mikey though.” Michelangelo winked reaching his hand out for a knuckle bump.

His large knuckles were massive and highly scarred, like he had lived a very hard life. Which from the looks of their battle worn bodies was true for all of them? Reluctantly you lifted your hand and completed the bump to his very apparent excitement. His blue eyes shone bright as he leaned further into Donatello gracing you with a large white smile that warmed your soul.

The blue one stepped forward and bowed slightly, “I am Leonardo, and I’m the eldest of my three brothers and the leader of our clan. The one who took an apple without permission is Raphael, my second in command and 2nd oldest. I apologize for his rudeness, but I must confess we all were a little excited seeing fresh fruit and vegetables. It’s been a while since we’ve seen, let alone consumed any. We live underground but Mikey had a garden set up on a roof top not too far from here, but it kept getting looted. Soon there was nothing left to regrow because seeds grew scarce and no left-over parts of the food to replant. It was a major disappointment to all of us. How have you managed to grow them after all this time?”

Swinging your legs over the side of the bed you rested on you cracked your neck and took a deep breath. “Ummm, my name is Y/N, yes I set up the rig, been working on it for years. I’m not from New York, let’s just say I’m from somewhere with a lot of land. I’m here scavenging for parts. My parents were preppers so when everything went down and I lost everyone, I had enough skill set to be able to survive.” And there it was, like an idiot with no filter you word vomited too much information to four complete strangers who were the first to be nice to you in ten years. “I have an extensive garden at home as well as live stock…..fuck.”

All four of them chuckled as you spewed word after word at an alarming rate. In fact they were surprised they could understand you at all with how fast you were talking. Donnie lowered his goggles and saw just how fast your heart rate was and the temp of your body rising rapidly. He began to worry if this was too much for you?

“You’re having a panic attack aren’t you? Are we too much for you or have you been alone all this time and not use to this much social interaction in one day?” he asked quickly stepping towards you still keeping an eye on the red flush drenching your cheeks.

Looking to your hands you saw them shaking and your lungs, Jesus Christ they felt like they were being squeezed from the inside. And let’s not talk about your heart, it felt like it was trying to hammer straight through your chest. Your fingers curled in your shirt clutching at your thumping breast. “Is that was this is? A panic attack? I feel like I’m dying…”

Soon you felt two hands, two very large hands on your shoulders holding you steady before you tumbled back from the bed you were perched upon. Golden green eyes and red flooded your vision and a musky scent of engine oil and leather invaded your senses.

Raphael was inches from your face, his massive body so close you could feel the heat radiating off his pebbled flesh. He smelled of masculinity and something rough, you could taste it on your tongue and it traveled to your belly warming it pleasantly. “Look at me, listen to my voice.” The rumble from his deep voice vibrated fluidly through the little space between you. Seeping into your pores and headed straight to the apex of your thighs. He smelled of trouble, the best kind of trouble.

“Deep breaths now, we ain’t gonna hurt ya.”

God he smelled good, you took slow deep pulls of his scent and found everything slowing down, your heart, your lungs and the whole damn room around you. All you could see was his face and the slow creeping smile that revealed his white teeth and the pink tip of his tongue bit between them.

“Do ya feel better now?”

Another hard swallow and you suddenly because aware your hand was now resting on the boney plates of his warm plastron. Why did it feel so comforting to touch him? Yep you were in trouble, so much trouble.

 All my works

@blossom-skies​

[solynacea]

333: Pride, Gluttony, & Scars

Warning: This a very long post that contains character analysis and an as-of-yet unsubstantiated theory. I don’t blame you if you want to skim read, and there’s a TL;DR at the bottom.

I’ve seen a lot of posts about the events of the newest chapter of Nanatsu no Taizai; as someone who does manga edits, I spend quite a bit of time staring at panels and dialogue to figure out how to organize, what can be taken out, what should be left in, etc. And I’ve done the same with this chapter, pouring over the scenes of Escanor’s final moments again, and again, and I’ve seen a theory about Merlin posted by @derieri​, so I’d like to share my thoughts on the final words exchanged between Escanor and Merlin.

But first, let’s talk about blame. I’ve seen so much of it going around: Elizabeth should have healed him, Mael should have kept Sunshine, Meliodas should have kept him from fighting, and while those are valid complaints, they also subtract from and undermine Escanor’s character and the development of his arc. We learned from his gaiden that he thought he was a monster, unfit to live, a beast to be put down without remorse. It wasn’t until Meliodas bested him in combat and forced him to realize that his life was not his to do away with so carelessly that he began to live. And Escanor did what so many people with chronic depression/suicidal tendencies do: he latched onto his comrades as a reason to continue living.

Note: I am someone who suffers from the above conditions, so I am basing my analysis on that.

To Escanor, his very reason for being alive in his world was to protect the people he cared for, even if that meant losing his life in the process. And while he does care for the people of Liones — seen by him battling Estarossa to keep them safe and purposefully moving their fight to a lake to avoid hurting the knights nearby — the largest part of his world was the group of misfits who had become his friends. The Seven Deadly Sins were his family, the people he loved, the ones he would do absolutely anything for. Escanor did not see value in himself outside of as a tool to protect others; even without Sunshine, facing down an Indura spawn, he was willing to let it rip him to shreds to protect Gilthunder and the others. He was willing to die then. If Mael hadn’t intervened, he would have.

The long and short of what I’m saying is that, even without Sunshine, he would have found some way to put himself in that battle. We knew he was dying. It was shown in the blood he continued to cough up no matter how many times he was healed, in his disregard for his safety while fighting the Sinner at Camelot. His one regret when he thought he was going to die then was that he wouldn’t be able to continue protecting his comrades. Escanor, in his final moments, made two choices that those around him, who loved him, respected: he retook Sunshine to fight for his friends, and he burned up his life to keep them safe. (For those of you saying that Mael could have taken his place: yes. Or he could have joined in. But the Sins weren’t able to resist the Demon King without Merlin’s limit break magic, so whether or not him doing anything would have changed the outcome is debatable.)

Now that the bulk of my understanding of Escanor’s character is done, let’s move on to what originally prompted this post: his confession, and Merlin’s reaction to it.

While saying his farewell to the Sins and others, Escanor makes sure to acknowledge each of them in some way, whether by thanking them, apologizing, or asking for a favor. Or, in Ban’s case, getting in one final roast. What doesn’t he do? Downplay their grief. He fully acknowledges that his death is going to impact them all in some way, particularly not being able to attend King and Diane’s wedding. And when he gets to Merlin, he makes the confession of feelings she already knew he held. 

After which Merlin does what Merlin is best at: she deflects. This is a canonical character trait for her; whether making a vague mention of something (her love for Meliodas), or waiting until the last second to reveal pertinent information (her Infinity magic), Merlin is known to be powerful and mysterious. She’s cool, she’s unruffled. And that doesn’t change here.

What does change is how Escanor speaks to her. Up to this point, he has always been respectful, almost to the point of absurdity. He does not press her on anything, does not question her. Yet here we see him blatantly refuse to allow her to hide behind a half-truth. Did Merlin view him as a test subject? Yes. Merlin views everyone that way to some degree. But Escanor isn’t a fool, and he immediately shakes his head and tells her that his feelings for her exist regardless of her view of him. Which leads to this:

Her veneer cracks. Merlin has only appeared vulnerable to this degree at one other point, and that was the death of Arthur. Her cool demeanor falls apart whenever some she cares for is dying, and that’s what happens here. If you want to read her body language, she’s averting her gaze (hiding from him), crossing her arms (to get distance/hold her emotions in check), and digging her fingers into her coat (to retain control). The moment Escanor tells her that he doesn’t care how she sees him because it won’t change how he feels, she begins to fall apart. And what does she say? “You’re too late.” We’ll come back to that.

She continues by seemingly veering off topic. “Too late for anything, for everything . . . some things just can’t be taken back.” Now, quite obviously we have yet to get a full gaiden for Merlin. Some of her backstory has been hinted at, like the destruction of Belialuin, which seem to be what she’s referencing here. But there’s something odd about it, and as @derieri​ pointed out, the way she’s wording her sentences and the confusion of Meliodas and Elizabeth make it highly likely that she’s referring to something other than Belialuin’s fall while saying that it’s too late. She continues by saying, “Escanor, I wish you would have found me sooner . . . If possible, 3,000 years sooner . . .”

That’s a very specific time frame, given that the first Holy War ended exactly 3,000 years before this event with the sealing of the Demon and Goddess Clans and the curse put on Meliodas and Elizabeth. 

Here, Escanor directly acknowledges that there is something other than the sin that earned her the title of Gluttony. Merlin’s reaction?

Utter surprise and, by the sweat on her brow, horror. Whatever this sin is, it’s something that she’s tried desperately to keep hidden for centuries. Not even Meliodas, who she once loved, or Elizabeth, who she views as an older sister, know what it could be. When Escanor says that he doesn’t know the specifics, only that there was something else because she always looked so sad, we get a close up of her eye. Traditonally, this is a technique used whenever one character breaks through to another. It’s meant to bring us close to the character, to show those boundaries breaking down.

In this context, it means the boundaries between Merlin and Escanor are breaking down.

She goes silent after this while he says his final farewells, and doesn’t move until she goes to him and kisses him. There are three things that happen in those few panels that contradict Merlin’s established character: 1.) she moves towards someone, instead of having someone move to her; 2.) she acts on an impulse; and 3.) she puts herself directly in harm’s way. Merlin has been in battles before, yes, and she has suffered damage, but it is very rare for her to put herself so blatantly in danger when she doesn’t need to be. She could have told him she’d always remember him fondly. She didn’t need to burn her face as horribly, yet she did. 

Directly after the kiss, she says:

There’s an interesting word choice here that might not be obvious to non-native English speakers. Merlin does not say, “I do not reciprocate your feelings for me.” She says, “I was never able to reciprocate your feelings for me.” In other words, she doesn’t say she does not love Escanor. She says she’s unable to love him. And there’s a world of difference between those two. It’s the difference between saying you do not eat something because you don’t like it, and you aren’t able to eat something because there’s a reason, like an allergy. Something is prohibiting Merlin from returning his feelings, at least in a deep way.

This is the panel that first caught my attention. “As proof of your life, as proof that you existed, I’ll take these burns upon my body . . .” That is a lot of commitment for someone she claims to see only as a research subject. There’s another person we’ve seen sear their flesh to touch the person they care for, and that was 3,000 years ago, when Meliodas reached into a goddess barrier to cradle and comfort Elizabeth. Merlin is scarring herself so that no one, herself included, will ever forget Escanor. And furthermore, she’s doing it as a symbol of his love for her. 

Remember that point I said we’d come back to later? In the theory, it’s stated that Merlin sold Meliodas and Elizabeth out to the Demon King and Supreme Deity. Which, frankly, I think would be another level to the tragically beautiful story that is Nanatsu no Taizai, but from that come two possibilities: Merlin was punished for her hubris in daring to speak to the gods she betrayed by having her ability to love removed, or she removed it herself after the destruction of her home/the curse being placed. 

Tl;dr: Merlin did, in some way, love Escanor, but whether through her own means or outside interference was unable to reciprocate it fully.

[reeceweep24]

Pink Pearl (Peep) and Robot Spinel AU (Part 4)

Soon the Diamonds and Peep arrived at a large door at the very back at the palace.The door had a gray look to it and had no detailed engravings which made it stand out from the rest of the palace. A control panel was beside the door and was at Peep’s height.

“Oh, Peep! Would you mind getting the door for us? I’ll tell you the code for it,” Blue said.

“Oh yeah, sure.” Peep gently put Spinel down on the floor and walked to the panel. She carefully followed the instructions Blue gave her and soon the screen turned green and the door slid open. Peep quickly retrieved Spinel and went inside behind the Diamonds.

The room was pretty huge considering it had to fit three Diamonds in at the same time.  Probably the same size as the throne room Peep calculated. The room itself though was dull still sporting that gray complexion. It didn’t help that it didn’t have much light except for the windows that went around the room above the Diamonds. What held Peep’s attention however, was the long flight of stairs in front of her. There seemed to be stairs from each side of the room which all led to a long white table. The light from the windows all collected together on the table which further showed its significance.

The Diamonds were now on each side of the room with Yellow on the left, Blue on the right, and White, standing beside Peep, at the front entrance. They all nodded at her to go on. Staring up at the steps one last time, Peep took a deep breath and steadily made her way up with Spinel.

The trek seemed to take forever and it became more tiring with each step she took. Determination and perseverance were the only things that propelled her forward. Before she thought she would collapse, the last step unveiled a flat floor with the table just a few feet away. Peep staggered her way there with the strength she had left. At last, Peep laid Spinel down on the table and sat down beside it, taking a breather.

“Alright I think it’s about time we start working on fixing her.” Peep said as she got back up and looked down on Spinel. “So how exactly do we know what needs to be fixed?”

“Well from looking at her exterior she definitely needs a fresh coat of paint and replacements for those hanging wires,” Yellow said. Peep couldn’t really get the terminology but she decided not to question it. “What really matters is how her inner programming is holding up. Peep if you can hold down her power button for a few seconds it should open up her exterior.”

Peep easily figured that Spinel’s heart-shaped gem was the ‘power button’ Yellow was referring to and pressed her hand over it. A few moments later sprays of steam along with a hissing sound came from the gemstone. A series of clicks proceeded and then Peep noticed that Spinel’s front cover had come loose. Not knowing what to expect, Peep slowly removed the cover.

Inside, there was a wide range of what Peep thought were also wires coursing through Spinel. Most of them seem to trace from the gemstone that was still intact. Some of the wires were connected to boards that had weird markings and buttons on them. Small multicolored light blinked up at Peep as well. Peep found what she saw strange and unsettling.

The Diamonds hovered their heads over Peep, their eyes scanning over the robot’s innards. “Hmm, her CPU doesn’t look too bad so that’s a good sign,” Yellow said.

“Yes but some of her circuit boards appear damaged so they definitely need replacements,” pointed out White.

“Her wires are also torn apart,” Blue added. “The poor thing, having to withstand herself in such a state for who knows how long.”

“Tell me about it,” Peep muttered under her breath.

“Now that we roughly know what needs to be repaired, it’s time we bring out the tools,” Yellow stated, “There is a control panel on your side of the table. The yellow button is for tools and the blue button is for Spinel’s blueprints,” she instructed Peep.

Peep looked down and saw the control panel. The Diamond insignia was shown on the screen with each symbol being its own button. Peep first pressed the blue one which immediately projected a transparent screen in front of her. A more detailed diagram of Spinel and her parts were shown. The yellow button was then pressed.

A yellow light in an outline of a rectangle appeared on the side of the table. It then opened up to reveal a drawer of various tools and mechanical parts. Peep picked one up and examined it.

“Ah perfect Peep! A screwdriver is a good tool to start removing parts,” Blue said.

“That’s good and all but I don’t know how to use these tools much less how to repair a robot,” Peep said.

“Don’t you worry about that,” White responded, “We’ll help you on what you need to do for as long as it takes.”

“Shouldn’t you guys need to worry more about managing Era 3 than this?”

“Well who else is going to teach you? This would be so much easier if our Pearls were here to help out but they’re so busy working on their show,” Yellow confessed.

“The Pearls?” Peep questioned. She fumbled around the small tool in her hands when she realized something. “The Pearls were the ones that made Spinel.”

“Under our direction they did. They were the only gems we could really rely on to get the job done. It’s rather difficult for a Diamond to hold a hammer your size and expect to build a robot.” Blue explained.

Peep really had her work ahead of her. She never realized that she would be the only capable person who could fix Spinel. On top of not having prior knowledge about robots was it really worth it? Peep cast aside her doubts. If two Pearls with no experience were able to make Spinel from scratch, what stopped her from just making minor fixes? Besides, she wanted some answers.

“I think I’m up to the task. Now about using this screwdriver…”

Over the next few days Peep worked nonstop under the Diamonds’ guidance on Spinel. Despite her doubts she learned fairly quickly whatever the Diamonds taught her. All much to the point where Peep confidently worked alone.

During one of those days Peep was surprised to see Blue and Yellow Pearl enter the room. They heard of what happened and were more than glad to assist Peep even if it was only for a day. Peep really enjoyed their company and it was hard for her to see them leave.

After that, it wasn’t long before Spinel was in perfect condition. The Diamonds and Peep looked over at the blueprints one last time.

“Voice box?”

“All good.”

“Motion sensors?”

“Check.

“Battery”

“Fully recharged.”

“Alright that’s everything done then. All we need to do now is to wake her up. Peep if you can do the honors.” White said.

Peep put Spinel’s cover that was newly painted back on. Peep then hovered her shaking hand over the gemstone and closed her eyes. It was time to see if they’re work paid off. Her fingers made contact.

The gemstone started to glow brighter than ever before. Actually, it seemed to be shining brighter with each passing moment. It then become so bright that everyone had to cover their eyes from the blinding light. A few more seconds passed before the light dissipated and their gaze once again fell on Spinel. However this time, a pair of magenta eyes stared back.

[taiblogcomics]

Things Are Looking Grymm

Hey there, block-pushing puzzles. Oh boy, it's that time of year again, isn't it? Where it gets hot and miserable. Alas, I'm sorry to increase your misery with more Teen Titans comics from the New 52 run~

Here's the cover:

The fight to save Kid Flash! ...is not important enough to make him the focus of the cover. Unfortunately, we have to instead look at Tim Drake bodychecking this zombie-faced idiot. I presume they're the villain of this issue, but are they interesting enough to sell this cover? Personally, I say no~

We open on a shot oddly reminiscent of that one "X-Men: Days of Future Past" cover. The one with the spotlight and the wanted posters? Picture that without the posters, and our Teen Titans here instead of Wolverine. Kid Flash announces that he's not feeling so well, Mr. Stark. He can't be feeling that bad, though, as he then next spends a few minutes pondering whether it's "good" or "well" that’s grammatically correct. This is all while they're being held at gunpoint by the police, so, you know, absolutely the time and place for this nonsense.

The detective in charge is intending to prosecute them, because even in self-defense, they still did thousands of dollars in public property damage (and that's not even including that apartment Tim blew up a few issues back). Tim's still trying to argue the self-defense angle when suddenly Skitter shows up and lifts the detective off the ground. This gives Tim the opportunity to batarang the gun out of the detective's hand, which sets Skitter off. Before Round 2 of Versus Skitter can happen, Bunker steps in and speaks to Skitter calmly. And the bonding they had on the roof gets through to her, and Skitter calls off the attack, turning it into a hug instead. Ah, just like an anime con~

It's good that this as wrapped up, because Kid Flash brings up a new problem. Remember how he was feeling sick? Well, it's getting worse, as in he's now glowing and shooting sparks off his skin. The team doesn't have any idea how to help him, but fortunately Tim knows someone who can. And who should this turn out to be but Virgil Hawkins? Yes, Static had his own self-titled series in the New 52 as well. Like a lot of New 52 titles, it only lasted eight issues. That's a little unfortunate, since that was the first series Static had to himself since he got acquired by DC. Mostly he'd been a secondary character in the Geoff Johns era of Teen Titans, which is probably why he's here.

Fortunately, not only is Virgil a cool superhero, he's also kind of a genius, as shown by his debut panel here showing him working on a robot velociraptor. As Tim introduces him to the Titans, Virgil recognises the problem with Kid Flash immediately, because he's also an expert on molecular stability. How convenient! They all dash off to an open lab to work on Kid Flash, and someone in a cell overhears them. (Why is there a padded cell in STAR Labs? Beats me.) This is our ghoulish cover villain, a fellow by the name of Grymm. If that doesn't convince you that DC was backsliding into the Dark Age of '90s comics, don't worry, future issues will only add more evidence of that~

After a brief cutaway to the detective from earlier, who turns out to not be a detective but a time traveler who recognises Kid Flash as a terrorist from her own time, we offset her worries about how bad Kid Flash really is by visiting him in the lab. Solstice is there comforting him, and generally showing what a nice character she is. She holds his hand, and he confesses that he's scared because he doesn't actually know how his powers work or how he got them. So that big rap sheet of criminal activities Detective Lure is worried about? Kid Flash actually has no idea he even committed them. Ah, more dramatic convenience~

So while Kid Flash is having his excess power drained off by a jury-rigged quantum MRI--seriously--Cassie and Bunker have a little banter. She's planning to split again, and Bunker tries persuading her to stay. She thinks it's cute if he wants her to stay just coz he has a crush, and he confesses that he's gay. Before that can get any more awkward between them, Bunker suddenly notices Skitter is missing. And the reason why she's missing is because Grymm has been reaching out with his psychic powers to find a mind that was easy to control. Animalistic little Skitter fits the bill.

While Tim and Virgil continue to put their heads together to realign Kid Flash's molecules, Bunker and Cassie follow the trail of destruction down the hall to where Grymm's cell is. It's already been torn open, as has his straitjacket, and Grymm steps forward. And oh boy, does he like to talk. He is very much the monologuing supervillain, the kind that's all "Behold my awesome powers, Titans! I bet you're wondering how I controlled your friend. Well, that is just one of the many awesome things I can do, thanks to the implants placed in my skull by the government! Let me show you some more things, such as your nightmares!" That's not word-for-word, but it's pretty close~

Cassie tries to jump in and wrap him in her lasso, but Grymm uses some more of his powers to literally channel her own anger back down the lasso and attack her. He continues to jabber on, while he also uses a power to release some sort of toxin into their skin, which lets him control their bodies while their minds remain conscious. Bunker quickly turns this back on him, because Bunker's bricks are psionic--meaning he controls them with his mind which Grymm specifically said he wasn't controlling. The bricks plow Grymm backwards into a wall, knocking him out and releasing his hold on them and Skitter. Victory by sucker punch!

So we close out the issue with a solution for Kid Flash. They've essentially built him a containment suit. It's not bulky or anything, it's actually just a cool costume for him. But it will keep his molecules aligned and stop him from tearing himself apart as long as he wears it. And given his amnesia, he doesn't really have a civilian identity for this to interfere with. Showering might be an issue, though. The other three return from their battle with Grymm, not even bothering to mention it, and the lot of them--even Cassie--agree that it's time for Round 2 with Superboy.

This comic is better than last week’s, but I still hesitate to call it any good. I do like that they establish the universe a little and tie in Static without it even having to be a superhero team-up. Relying on Static for something other than his powers is actually a really cool moment for the character.

On the other hand, we have this doofus, Grymm. His edgy design, his dumbass name, his talky personality, the fact that he takes up most of the cover... He was genuinely not interesting enough for any of that. He was a punk, and he got taken out like one. Really, his whole thing feels like they were just trying to pad out the issue and make it exciting by putting a fight scene in it.