#Also Tumblr: *Make it annoying as much as possible to encourage everyone to not only hate Netflix live action OP but to also use UBlock*

[loser-brain]

Alright, since we all hate the new layout I want to add to it.

Since we are getting plagued by One Piece ads I have to say, with all the clutterness because of the new layout. It's taking waaaaaayyy too much space.

The ad I had before literally took up so much space I had to scroll a bit down to see an actual post

Everyone hated the clown ad because it was in the way of the Radar. In the old layout it would’ve been fine to have it in the empty space to the left hell next time have Buggy (the clown name btw) to the left below "Go Ad-Free"

"But it'll get in the way of the create button"

No one uses that button anyway, we all use the buttons that are at the top.

[Image with buggy logo edited smaller and to the bottom left with a caption below it saying "This is better!!," While the original image to the bottom right has a caption above it saying "This is not!!"]

These are the buttons I'm talking about in case someone gets confused (mostly talking to new users here)

"But it'll get in the way of the sidebar menu!"

make the ad disappear when the sidebar menu drops 🫠 like it's not that hard to visualize an end product/end goal.

These ads are because of the clutterness of the layout is more on the force end. More on the hey look hey look hey look hey look do you see it do you do you do you do you

like yes... I do see it... You have it plastered everywhere right in my face. Practically suffocating me/making me hate this ad.

The Pikaman ad was memorable because it was not in our faces as aggressively as this. It was not in the way like how Buggy was. It was just there doin' an ad, in which the community has a love and hate relationship with.

With the One Piece ads. Yeah, sorry but with how you placed Buggy he became an annoyance right from the get-go because he was in the way of Radar. And because he was in the way of Radar many people's first impressions were not happy ones. Instead of cultivating many fans to be hyped for the show on Netflix, you made it everyone's number-one enemy.

So to sum up, because of this new layout, Tumblr made it easy for everyone to hate a certain thing because of how cluttered everything is.

[ikeoji-subs]

Zettai BL Ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL Ni Naritakunai Otoko 2024 - Episode 3 Eng Sub

VS CONFESSION and VS CUPID

For downloading instructions and where to find the raw files please check our masterpost

[Subs link]

We ask that you not upload our subs to streaming sites.

Sharing with friends is fine. We’re also OK with folks sharing them in other ways as long as they aren’t public. Please use discretion when talking about the fansub outside of tumblr, but don’t hesitate to get the word out in other ways, and feel free to promote it here. Please credit ikeoji-subs whenever possible--we put a lot of time and effort into this.

Feel free to use the fansub for fandom purposes. Gif-making, meta-writing, and other fandom-related creative endeavors made using our fansub are not only welcome but encouraged.

Thanks so much to everyone interacting with our fansub posts and leaving appreciative comments in the tags! It’s super motivating for us and makes all the effort worth it.

And big thanks to @my-rose-tinted-glasses for gifs! We’re so lucky to be able to benefit from your skills.

translation notes:

about “suki” vs. “tsuki” (3:32)

This is explained in a brief translation note in the subtitles, and there isn’t a ton left to say about it that wasn’t stated there. But due to the amount of dialogue happening in this scene, we had to keep the note as short as possible and we weren’t able to keep it onscreen for very long, so it still bears mentioning here. 

In Japanese, the words “suki” and “tsuki” sound quite similar. “Suki,” as a lot of BL viewers know, means “like” or “liking,” whereas “tsuki” means “moon.” Hatano is saying “suki desu” to Mob, which in this context means he’s basically declaring his love for him. Mob is using the resemblance between “suki” and “tsuki” to pretend that he thinks Hatano said something to him about the moon. Then he uses the English word “moon” a couple of times, seemingly to ensure that Hatano won’t be able to turn around and take his “tsuki” as “suki.” 

As Mob says, usually a maneuver like this would make the person declaring their feelings get so self-conscious that they’d back off. But Hatano’s not a typical suitor, as Mob soon learns.–Towel

about “perfect match” (15:31)

I mentioned in our translation note about episode 1 that the red and blue beams that shoot out of Mob’s eyes seemed like a reference to his character from Kamen Rider Build. This time, I kind of made my own Easter egg about that show.

I mentioned before that Inukai Atsuhiro played the main Rider–and title character–on Kamen Rider Build. Kamen Riders always have some kind of transformation item, sometimes with interchangeable components. They're typically some kind of object attached to a belt, sort of like a massive buckle, that you can put smaller items into. The components that Build (a.k.a. Kiryu Sento) used at first (and to an extent, later in the series) involved “bottles” that were each named after some kind of object or animal. He would use two at a time, and the resulting juxtaposition (e.g. RabbitTank) would be reflected in his suit form somehow. But not every combination of bottles worked together, and some resulted in more effective suit forms than others. When Sento found a really good combination, his transformation device would designate it a “best match.” A “best match” resulted in more strength and more effective abilities to fight villains. 

Sento showing Banjou how best matches work

The phrase “best match” didn’t exactly fit here. But when I was polishing up this line and the word “match” came to mind, I felt like I had to at least try to word it in a way that would allow me to say something reminiscent of it--hence "perfect match." I hope some Build fans will recognize the sorta-reference!–Towel

Banjou annoying Sento by guessing a best match combination on his first try

Tag list: @absolutebl @bengiyo @c1nto @come-back-serotonin @lurkingshan @my-rose-tinted-glasses @porridgefeast @sorry-bonebag @twig-tea @wen-kexing-apologist

[darlingian]

weekly tag wednesday friday

thank you to these lovely ones who tagged me: @jrooc @creepkinginc @energievie @deedala @gardenerian

@blue-disco-lights @vintagelacerosette @heymacy

how did you get into the fandom? I just kinda inserted myself. Lmao. Followed a bunch of gallavich blogs and did some detective work to find an invite link to the discord. lolol

how long have you been here? just over a year! (this time) I've been on and off tumblr (with the same blog!) since 2010 though!

what’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?) Tumblr, aka the fandom Homeland.

what’s your favourite now? tumblr is my ol' reliable.

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? I first reached out to @gallawitchxx by being annoying in her inbox. Then I did the same to @gardenerian. Sorry pals.

which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? @gallawitchxx and @gardenerian , hence the inboxing. Buuuuut also @heymacy and @heymrspatel and @whatthebodygraspsnot and

@michellemisfit . You all seemed so cool and like authorities on the subject. lolol

first Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember) The first gallavich fic I ever read was not very good. LOL. But the first one I fell head over heels for was Restoration by @palepinkgoat. I think about it all the time.

first fan art that blew your mind? @steorie art of some kind! Possibly something from Cooperative Gameplay? Or @deedala 's Mickey and Debbie fanart.

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love? AUs. for a long while I refused to read anything but post series fics.

what surprised you most about this fandom? How much WORK people put into this fandom. There are so many people not only writing or making art or gifs etc, but there are people who have databases of deleted fics, fics that align with certain tropes, there are people organizing fan events like it's their job, people who are encouraging newbies, people making prompts lists and running very specific blogs for very specific fandom needs. everyone working together on this thing that we are all a part of. It's just so beautiful. And like yeah, this happens in other fandoms too. But the consistency here is just so lovely. Plus it feels big enough to usually stay pretty fresh, but also small enough that you can really form connections.

moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich? I specifically remember watching the scene where Mickey is beating up Ian at the abandoned buildings in like 2013? and thinking "Oh no. I'm never getting over these two." and I took a break for a while but it did ending up being true so far. lol

ian or mickey? Ian Clayton Gallagher is so special to me I have a hard time articulating it. So, Ian. <3

which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? At times I have felt like Lip, Fiona, Mandy, but these days I feel like a Ian/Debbie combo.

I'm not tagging anyone else because I'm so late. <333

[phoenixyfriend]

Me, explaining Chanters of Tremaris to someone on Discord:

[Beware: spoilers ahead, if you intend to read the books]

Fictional planet, people can cause magic by singing, and the type of magic is generally a cultural/bloodline thing (much like AtLA)

Also a Prophesied One with All the Powers, except there's more than one person who can sing multiple magics, and the other guy is Evil

there's a fucked up city that's held up and kept beautiful and Not Falling Apart by enslaving children to sing it. Protagonists free the children and the city falls apart LITERALLY OMELAS I mean not really, because the Function of the enslaved and neglected children is obvious, and it's not everyone that knows But close enough

Haunting imagery of dead women sealed into a wall of ice out of fear of their illness reaching their sisters

Someone has a brother they didn't know about, and meets in the final book

The only girls allowed on boats are the ones that can sing the wind

(This is possibly just the one really misogynistic pirate ship, but still)

(A choice bit of worldbuilding. Girls are bad luck unless they can chant the wind)

Author did not seem to realize there was Lesbian Potential (boat girl and protagonist)

You get through the entire series and learn that the "lost magic" that nobody can rediscover is LITERACY nobody here can WRITE or READ there are no BOOKS

And you don't notice! As a reader! OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND I GUESS

Also it turns out that this is. Not the original planet. They find The Oldest City and the city is actually a giant spaceship That was used to settle the planet centuries ago Possibly millennia, given that an entire portion of the population, geographically separated from the rest, does not have vocal cords

No we do not know how the fuck the entire human population managed to collectively forget how to write

The worldbuilding starts out very standard fantasy and then spirals wildly out of control

@ioudaleks, helping me out: IT’S SUCH BONKERS WORLDBUILDING AND IT WORKS

ALIENS

THE BIRDS

A GENERATION SHIP

FUCKING GLOBAL ILLITERACY

NOT EVEN THE MERCHANT CLASS

ioudaleks: ICE WALL WITH CORPSES

At this point, the person we were goading to read it (whose tumblr I am unsure of), asked "there's a merchant class with no writing?"

And. Yes. There is.

There is a college with no writing

There is aristocracy with no writing

It makes absolutely NO sense AND YET

ioudaleks: Compelling tho

Innocent bystander we are infodumping at: "ig the song magic makes it work somehow. sing your memory good"

Oh, not at all

Not everyone can magic

Fire magic has been almost completely forgotten because it was outlawed

And the country that now has zero magic is the one with a college

One of the college students invents a bicycle and then helps them become fugitives by blowing up his own workshop as a distraction

There's a really annoying romance, but it's Standard for the genre and year of writing (16-17yo girl and a guy in his late 20s/early 30s)

And the impossible city with the enslaved kids has some uh. Very Hapsburg-esque romances.

ANYWAY the people who don't have vocal cords DO have magic dancing

ioudaleks: One whole system is overtone singing and supposedly only men can do it because of something something vocal cords. Only women sing the ice magic.

The magic to charm "beasts" is said to be lost but it turns out that the ice priestesses have kept it up as an oral tradition The songs we sing for the bees aren't magic! They just Like It 😃

I would encourage most people to read it just for that absolute bonkers ramping up into insanity

There is a Magic Trumpet It is very small A clarion You can use it to make fire

The bicycle arsonist found it and gave it to the sailor girl

@ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods: Wait, was the last thing writing in general or just musical notation?

And I'm so sorry to confirm that uh

It was. All writing

You think it's just musical notation but then they Figure Out Syllables

(I reread them a few years ago and have a whole unhinged rant about the trilogy, in that same server, in February 2020)

The series has a very solid, long-term hold on my hindbrain.

Have I ever treated it as a fandom? No. Has it doubtlessly affected me as a person and a writer? Yes

[not-too-many-eyes]

Digimon Survive, Mistakes and Moving On Part 1: Shuuji and Ryo

(Day 2 of Survive Week: Survive) [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Takuma Addition] So Digimon Survive is a huge game, with 4 routes and a lot of moving parts, Digimon Survive tells a story about eight kids transported to dangerous world and the emotionally conflicts and physical challenges that come with it. This was originally going to also talk about all four routes and there respective focus characters but then I realized it was too long so I split it up.

With that out of the way, let's talk about the first two deaths of Survive and how they connect with the games themes. CWs: Discussion of Child Abuse, Death, Self-Hatred Spoiler Warning for: Everything. Mostly the game pre-route split though. My Italics kept on breaking and when I checked this again for some last minute editing. no idea why if you notice any weird itallics that's why. I need to stop writing directly into the tumblr post maker.

Ryo Tominaga

When you first meet Ryo It's easy to dismiss Ryo as nothing more than a cowardly delinquent, and it's not like he gives you a lot to work with. Ryo tends to be rude and hostile but also terrified all the time and thoroughly unhelpful because of that. He also doesn't have a good relationship with his partner Kunemon, who can't talk and can only communicate through body language and tone, Kunemon tries his best to connect with his partner, but Ryo keeps pushing him away, terrified of him.

We are not encouraged to empathize with Ryo, in fact we are encouraged to do the opposite. To find him cowardly and his fear silly. To be annoyed with his actions, to be frustrated with his attitude. Ryo is designed to be hated. Ryo is the one dragging the group down, the one making this already stressful situation even worse, maybe if he just...wasn't there the situation would become easier, more bearable.

But as the game progresses you find that Ryo is struggling, his mental health deteriorates over the three chapters before his possible death. With Ryo at the end of it muttering about doom and ghosts and the afterlife and his mom.

But the group doesn't do much to help him. Because there's so much more important things to do, find everyone else, manage supplies, continue surviving. So Ryo's problems are ignored and Minoru even actively makes fun of Ryo during the first three chapters, exacerbating the situation.

This comes to a head in Chapter 3 where, if you don't have enough Affinity with Ryo (or are on your first save), he dies, the fog using his dead mother to lure him into it.

Haru: Why do you want to return to the real world? Ryo: I d-don't belong here. This isn't my world Ryo: Takuma and the others all hate me. I know because they all treat me like dead weight Ryo: They're trying to use those monsters of theirs to get rid of me Haru: Oh? Is that how it looks like to you Ryo: That's why I want to go back! Back to my world, back to my home! Ryo: But its okay. Any minute now, Mommy will call me, and then I'll be saved' Haru: *sigh* Haru: Just how long are you going to keep deluding yourself? Haru: You should know better than anyone that your mother is never going to call you Ryo: *gasp* Ryo: Yes...That's right... Ryo: Mommy was always sick. I wanted to spend more time with her, but the doctor said no... Ryo: I tired so hard...Whenever i was lonely she'd tell me to be strong, but.. Ryo: But those...Those were her last words.

Something the group didn't know before the start of this game was that Ryo's mom died, and Ryo was left to cope with his grief. Alone, in a strange, deadly world. With people who, at least to him, hated his guts.

No wonder he was such a wreck this entire time.

Ryo's death is a big turning point in the game, where the danger of the situation really sets in for everyone. And afterwards when everyone goes back to the school after being calmed down by Shuuji, Takuma reflects on how if they just, tried harder they could of possibly prevented this.

Takuma: (Surely there must of been something more I could of done) Takuma: (Maybe if we'd all work together or if I'd been more determined or...) -------------------------------- Takuma: There must of been something we could've done to save him. Maybe if we started earlier... Takuma: I knew. When he couldn't open up to Kunemon, when he got so scared of Dokugumon, how he acted in that classroom, on the trail, or even just talking with him. It was clear Takuma: I knew he was struggling. But I didn't help him. Takuma: I just....let him suffer.

I'll talk about that in more detail later when we get into post-split content. I'll just say it's important to note that Takuma, Aoi, and Shuuji are blaming themselves for Ryo's death and, as seen later on, this isn't really a good thing. As much as Ryo dies because he wasn't given support, it's not really right to say that Takuma and the rest should of bent over backwards for him. This is why dialogue choices that raise his affinity involve Takuma, not necessarily agreeing with him, but understanding him, which let's Ryo knows that he is part of the group, that they won't abandon him, even if Ryo really was just a cowardly jerk.

Because of this, Ryo survives, and gets better.

Ryo is a great member of the cast, he's loyal and attentive. Helping Aoi and Shuuji to manage to group when Takuma disappears, Ryo is also one of the more proactive members of the group, helping everyone stay on track and get things done. And While Ryo can be overly pessimistic and still has trouble communicating with everyone it's clear that he's a reliable guy in his own way.

Ryo: Yeah, um...I mean, how do I say this... Ryo: When he's (Takuma) not around, I can't just leave it all to you and Aoi... Ryo: I'll, uh...I'll follow your lead, a'ight? Shuuji: Ryo... Shuuji: Sure, I'm glad I can rely on you. -------------------------------- Kaito: Quiet, Miu! I'm saying this for your sake...! Miu: You're not doing this for me! Kaito, you- Ryo: Knock it off you two. Now's not the time to be butting heads Takuma: (Ryo stopped the fight...His mouth's as nasty as ever, but he's keeping a cool head.) Ryo: First, let's hear what Takuma has to say. What's this about Miyuki being the key?

Another thing of note is that while Ryo's actions Pre-Chapter 3 are neither dwelled on, or brushed aside like nothing happened.

Ryo: I really think you would (save everyone no matter what)...Wish I could be like you. Takuma: You should just keep doing you, man. No point in becoming like me. Ryo: You think the guy standing in front of you could save someone? Takuma: The guy right now? Absolutely. When I think of how you were when we got to this world... Takuma: You've changed a lot. That's how I know. Ryo: Yeah, maybe. The fact that I can understand this guy (Kunemon) now is proof enough. -------------------------------- Ryo: This wold has given us a ton of memories. Ryo: Honestly, there's a lot I want to forget... Ryo: For real. It feels like people have been messing around with me the whole time. Takuma: Now that's not true. Ryo: Not for you, sure! But Minoru, man... Ryo: I mean, I guess it's my fault for giving him so much ammunition in the first place. Takuma: ...One day everything that went down here will be distant memories. Ryo: I'm sure that's true. And when that happens... Ryo: I want them to be great memories. That's why we'll save Miyuki. We've got to. -------------------------------- Ryo: Huh? What are you thanking me for? Takuma: Oh, nothing in particular. Everything you've done for us so far. Ryo: Oh, that's good. Ryo: Well, thank you, too. And, I'm sorry. Takuma: Wait, why are you apologizing? Ryo: Oh, for all kinds of stuff. I was kind of a jerk. Violence, selfish...you know. Takuma: Yeah, kind of. Ryo: That's why I'm apologizing. Sorry

Ryo certainly hasn't forgotten that he was a bit of a jerk, he apologizes to Takuma and Kunemon, does his best to help and support the group, and most importantly resolve to do better without drowning himself in guilt.

Ryo doesn't dwell on his mistakes that much because he knows that he can do better. Ryo knows that making a mistake, making multiple bad mistakes, isn't the end, and what's really important is making up for it. Ryo changed, because he wanted to do better.

All these traits is why he's the perfect character to help out one Shuuji Kayama. Shuuji Kayama

Shuuji is an interesting character, he's the oldest of the group and before chapter 5 is in charge and leads the group through this world. Because he's the oldest and thus has to be the most responsible of the bunch.

This, doesn't go well to say the least. Shuuji feels less like someone your working with but someone your working around, and can often feel bossy, defensive, or unreasonable.

And Shuuji isn't really listened to by the group, most of the group have a lot of grievances about how he acts. Minoru and Kaito especially are very critical of Shuuji's actions, with Minoru making fun of him and Kaito harshly criticizing him.

Shuuji is also the one with the worst relationship with his partner at the start. Shuuji is verbally abusive to Lopmon and acts hostile towards him, pushing him harder than anyone else in the group, not even letting him rest for a few minutes.

Shuuji Kayama is designed to be hated even more than Ryo was. His actions are often times frustrating, his treatment of Lopmon is horrible, and he's clearly not ready to lead a group, especially one in such a dangerous situation.

And, just like Ryo. It's easy to think that if Shuuji just, wasn't there, or stayed out of the way, the situation would be less stressful, more bearable.

When Chapter 5 rolls around we are first shown a nightmare Shuuji is having, it's about his family, Shuuji's dad is berating him, that he must hate him for not living up to the Kayama name. His brother is on the sidelines, saying that he'll "do his best for the both of them" and the nightmare ends with Shuuji's dad abandoning him, leaving him behind.

Shuuji Kayama is an abused child, one trying his hardest to live up to his family's expectations, and yet still failing to no matter how hard he tries.

In Chapter 5 the group goes to confront Arukenimon and to possible reason or attack her to gain information, due to a series of events the group is separated from each other and shown various illusions the group eventually meets up and eliminates the illusions, except for Shuuji, who's shown a very different illusion from everyone else, one of his dad, and then later, Arukenimon.

Arukenimon: We need a sacrifice...A single one will do. Arukenimon: So give us just one person... Ho ho ho. Shuuji: Really? Just one?! -------------------------------- Shuuji: Just one...Just one...Who to choose... Shuuji: No, I... I can't.... There's no way I can make that choice...! Shuuji: I know! Me! It should be ME! That would work, right, Arukenimon?! Shuuji: Answer me, Arukenimon! I'll be the sacrifice! Take me! Arukenimon: What admirable spirit...Still, is that what you really want, my dear boy? Arukenimon: You lack courage...and your sense of justice is nothing special. Don't you think? Arukenimon: You're just frightened, and you want to leave this place behind? Arukenimon: You'd rather pass the buck onto someone else. Isn't that true?

Shuuji is a bit of a mess, and his actions here aren't just motivated by wanting to save everyone, he thinks that this is what will get his dad to be proud of him, that he'll finally live up to being a proper Kayama. He thinks about how this story could get him praised by his father, get into a good college, finally live up to their expectations.

But...he doesn't want to die, and not only that, Shuuji is tired.

Shuuji: From the start, I didn't want to do it. I couldn't do it... Shuuji: Why didn't anyone say anything? I can't do it, tell me I can't... Shuuji: If I'd known then...I wouldn't have to do this..

Shuuji is tired of having to constantly chase something he can never have. Tired of always having to be "better".

Shuuji: You (Lopmon) can't even evolve! Maybe you'd be of some use if you could! Shuuji: Yeah! You'd be able to defeat our enemies if you could do that! Shuuji: Enemies...Anyone who looks down on me! You should just erase them all Shuuji: Even my dad...even my brother! Everyone! Lopmon: I...I...! Shuuji: Why, why am I so hopeless...? Is this all I really am?!

He's angry, scared, and completely alone. With no one to turn to, no one to help him, and at his lowest point, he hits Lopmon. Multiple times, over and over again, to force him to evolve, until...

Shuuji: Go on! Hurry up and evolve! We'll show them we're not useless! Lopmon: Stop, Shuuji...It hurts, and I'm scared. I don't like this! Shuuji: I'm the one in pain! I'm the one who's scared! All because you can't evolve! Shuuji: Yeah, everything is your fault! You're the reason they called me useless! Lopmon: GRAAAAAAA! *Lopmon evolves into Wendimon* Shuuji: You did it...I knew you could if you tired! Now show them. Show them I'm not useless!

After this Lopmon defeats MegaSeadramon and then...eats Shuuji. But, it's less being eaten and more absorption.

Agumon: Listen, Takuma! He's crying! Takuma: Crying...? Lopmon/Shuuji: IT HURRRTS...I'M SCAAARED...I DON'T WANNA DO THIIS... Agumon: It's Lopmon! Lopmon's crying! Lopmon/Shuuji: WHAT'S...WRONG WITH ME? WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE...? Takuma: That's...No way. Is that Shuuji's voice?! Lopmon/Shuuji: I DON'T HAVE...ANY RIGHT TO LIVE. I SHOULD JUST DISAPPEAR...

It's both Shuuji and Lopmon's voices crying and screaming. Because these emotions are something both of them feel. Because Lopmon is Shuuji and Shuuji is Lopmon. Let's talk about Partners:

Lopmon is cute, unassuming, and harmless. He's adorable. He's shy, trying his best to help everyone out, and constantly trying to please everyone. Lopmon also tends to be a very emotional and gets easily worried, anxious and sacred.

And Shuuji Hates Him. Shuuji gets angry at Lopmon, is frustrated with him over the smallest things, pushes him harder than anyone else in the group and is unsympathetic to Lopmon's struggles. He is disgusted and wishes he had a different partner. Because Lopmon can't actually do anything useful.

Now, something we find out in the chapter right after this is that the A Kemonogami and their partner are connected because they are two halves of a soul. A Kemonogami is a reflection of the human.

Labramon tends to chew out people who Aoi is frustrated with, Kunemon can't talk because Ryo can't easily communicate with people, and Lopmon is trying his best to please everyone because Shuuji is trying his best to please everyone.

So when Shuuji pushes, verbally abusive, and gets angry at Lopmon. He's really, getting angry at himself.

Because, Shuuji Kayama hates himself. Something we find out in the short backstory released by Bandai is that Shuuji Kayama graduated top of his class. And yet his dad still isn't satisfied by that. Shuuji was taught to hate himself, and Lopmon represents all of it.

Evolution plays such a major part in Shuuji's arc, as evolution in general it symbolizes change and personal development. But in this scene it's not positive. Shuuji is forcibly trying to change who he is out of hatred and self-loathing.

Shuuji: Why don't you (Lopmon) change? Shuuji: I see...You're the same.

Shuuji: You're just like I was when my dad chewed me out...and had to abandon me.

Shuuji does not think he as a person has any worth, he wants Lopmon to "evolve" because if Lopmon stops being Lopmon then Shuuji can stop being Shuuji, to be someone other than him, to be someone that has "worth" and ultimately that's what destroys them.

And the group reflects on this, now that they know about Shuuji's feelings:

Aoi: Did Shuuji really think that...? If so, then we... Minoru: We put him into a leadership role due to his age, and made everything his responsibility. Takuma: He was suffering the whole time, and we were the ones who made him suffer!

Again, the cast blames themselves, for not doing enough to help them, for hurting them, for being the ones who made them "suffer". But, Takuma has this scene in the library Post-split:

Illusion Shuuji: Look, our deaths were out own faults. We were weak. We admit that. Illusion Shuuji: But that wasn't the only reason we died. It was also because you abandoned us.

Illusion Ryo: You probably forgot all about it in your struggles to survive. Forgot abandoning us. Illusion Ryo: And after all that talk of everyone going home together. made me sick just hearing it. Illusion Ryo: I guess Shuuji and me were never part of that group, huh? "Everyone" didn't include us. -------------------------------- Takuma: (If I want to apologize, that means i have to become like them? Really?) Takuma: (If that's true...then I-)

Agumon wakes him up before he says anything but it's clear Takuma still blames himself for there deaths.

I'll go into more detail in this when I talk about what happens post split, but Digimon Survive doesn't think that going the other way, giving everything you could to the people around you, is good either. Because yes, he could of done more, yes he could of pulled out all the stops and yes going out of your way to understand Ryo does lead to a better outcome.

But, Takuma dying here because he thought he deserved it Would Not Make The Situation Better. We know what happens if Takuma isn't here because of the Bad " The World Ends" Ending! Takuma is the group's leader, and that he has to move on, to do better.

In contrast to Takuma's guilt and how the illusions ask him to die for them for forgiveness, let's see what happens when Ryo is alive in Chapter 5.

Ryo: You bastard! Shuuujiiiiiii! Takuma: Ryo?! Hold on, we'll all go- Ryo: You freakin' MORON!!! *Ryo Punches Him* Shuuji: Ga-hack! Ryo: You scum! You think you have the right to hurt Lopmon like that?! Shuuji: Wha', what...? What are you...? Ryo: Just look at Lopmon! Ryo: He ran himself ragged just to try and save you, then you start roughing him up... Lopmon: Ungh...*pant* Shuu...ji...*cough* *cough* Shuuji: Oh...oh no... Ryo: He's been working his ass off, an all for you! And this is how you thank him?! Shuuji: All...for me? No, but, but I... Ryo: Yo, this ain't about you, man. Take a good look around you. *camera pans to the rest of the group* Shuuji: Ah... Ryo: We're here too. All of us, your friends...and especially Lopmon. Shuuji: Ah...no...What...What have I been...

Now, as I mentioned at the end of Ryo's part, Ryo is the perfect person to help Shuuji out. Ryo starts off with punching Shuuji which shocks Shuuji out of his breakdown. He then continues telling him how horrible he's been to Lopmon, how hard Lopmon has been working for him, which makes him realize what actually happening, but then Ryo reminds him that, he isn't alone. That everyone is here to support him, and Lopmon especially is here to support him.

Shuuji: ...I'm so, so sorry, Lopmon. I'm the one who's been useless here. Shuuji: I kept seeing myself in you-all the weakness I saw in myself. It was so painful. Shuuji: But you're so much stronger than I've ever been. You came to save me, after everything. Lopmon: Ah...I'm so happy...You praised me, Shuuji... Shuuji: Lopmon...I've wanted to, for so, so long. But that doesn't matter anymore. Shuuji: I want to protect everyone...to save them. I...I want to live up to your expectations!

Instead of before where Lopmon evolves because of Shuuji's rage and self-hatred, Lopmon here evolves because of Shuuji's sense of duty and Shuuji wanting to live up to His own expectations of himself.

After this, Shuuji starts working with the professor after he's revealed to be alive, noticing things the professor didn't notice and helping him interpret the various murals in the Shrine and Shuuji loves working with him and is proud of the work he's been doing with it

Takuma also comments on how Shuuji looks happier and more refreshed when comes back in Chapter 9 and Shuuji responds that now he's just trying his best. Shuuji always wanted what's best for everyone, but now he has room to breathe, because now he's not alone. He's noticeably easier to talk to now, more open and honest about the difficulties he's facing, now it really does feel like your working with him.

And the most important, Shuuji resolves to talk to his dad, to talk to his family, to tell them how he's been feeling, to stand up for himself. He's gained the confidence, the strength, and the self-worth, to do so. Like Ryo, he's given the chance to get better. To grow, To own up to his actions, and eventually, forgive himself.

Ending Notes: So as I mentioned on the top, originally I was going to go to the branching routes here but as you can also tell this thing is long. So this is being split up two THREE parts. One covering the game pre-split the one covering Harmony/Wrathful/Moral and one covering Truthful.

I would like to thank Digisurvive's meta about extreme collectivism as horror and how that connects to Survive and abelunwinning's Shuuji Kayama's meta for both being fantastic and also giving me the ability to finish this damn thing (specifically the end and Shuuji's good evolution/Ryo punching him scene gave me trouble) go read them there great. I gained more appreciation for both Takuma and Ryo because of this, I loved them beforehand but I love them EVEN MORE NOW! Survive week is created by: @surviveweek

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Hii this is the same, anon who asks about reblog... FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SPARE YOUR TIME TO EXPLAIN THE ANSWER 😭😭😭💗💗💗 im trying to always put comments in my reblog from now on.

And second.. i have another question heheh (sorryyy) but if you have a series, is it okay for me to reblog all of the chapters? Or just the masterlist?

Thankl youu 💕💕

awww that's so good to hear! I'm glad you found it useful!! and don't worry about asking more questions! I'd much rather get loads of questions and it allow people to feel more comfortable reblogging than not!

I would say the more reblogs the better, posts can easily get missed or buried on people's dashes so having as many reblogs as possible really helps people find creators' work. It's also why you'll see creators reblogging their own work multiple times so people in different timezones are more likely to see it etc.

Also from my own personal experience as a reader, seeing reblogs with comments on specific chapters of a series has encouraged me to read them because sometimes a series summary doesn't pull everyone in, but reblogs and comments on chapters are more specific and can encourage people to check out the series!

And masterlist reblogs are great too because you can give your comments as a series as a whole.

Like I said the more reblogs the better, the only 'spamming' that annoys creators is spam liking, spam reblogging is amazing! it can really make a creators day, I know i've had shit days and then opened tumblr to find someone has gone through a series of mine and commented on each chapter and it's made my day so so much better!

of course with the more reblogs we get, the longer it can take to reply to them so if it takes a while for a creator to respond don't feel discouraged and stop reblogging! we will get around to it eventually because we want to encourage it!

I hope this answers your questions and don't hesitate to ask more if you need it!

And if other creators wanna add to this then please do!

[sylvyspritii]

Why I'm Leaving Twitter and Joined a Better Website

This is a Tumblr version of the essay i wrote on why i am leaving Twitter, you can read the original version on Google Docs here: https://tinyurl.com/sylvybyemusky That's right, it's over, i've made my decision, you can read (the short version of) my full reasoning right here The original text will start now (keep in mind it won't be formatted correctly because Tumblr handles pasted text strangely):

Tl;dr: I will still keep my existing accounts and i will check my DM’s so that clients can still contact me easily and also to save my @ from being stolen I’m done with Twitter

Refresher: i am a professional freelance video game music composer, hobbyist artist, and hobbyist Vtuber Everyone has a limit to how much they are willing to tolerate before it becomes too much, before it starts breaking our principles Under the leadership of Elon Musk, we have seen Twitter be transformed from a flawed platform of the masses, to something that resembles a circus of incompetence, hatred, and untrustworthiness

I made my first Twitter account back in 2015, back then, it was important for every freelancer to have a Twitter account, because “everyone was there”, and it was an easy way for clients to contact us Eventually, i grew to around 2000 followers, and then i decided to delete my account in around 2020 because i was unhappy with the direction the website was going in I came back, because i noticed that people kept asking me to “come back to Twitter” Already back then, i started to dislike the platform a lot, i have multiple reasons for that

Reasons why i already disliked Twitter before Elon Musk

All your likes are public now, it didn’t used to be that way, so you can say your privacy goodbye, so if you liked some controversial tweets, even before this update went live, everyone can see it now, even if it was 5 years ago, all your like history is saved, nothing is private, and there is no option to make it private

Your following list is public, and this means that everyone can see who you follow, this is also terrible for privacy, and you can be judged depending on who you follow, this is very bad, especially if you have stalkers

Not only are the last 2 points a danger for freedom of speech, but they are also a danger to freedom of assembly, and freedom to learn, because it discourages people to connect with people that are “not acceptable”, this can reinforce prejudices and discourages people from learning about things outside of their comfort zone, in fear of being “found out”, for example, people discovering LGBT+ identities and wanting to follow people to learn more information about it, can now be stalked and discovered by their peers and parents, and even punished for it, but this also counts for politics, art, and many other things

It discourages straying away from “the norm”, because everyone can now judge who you follow, and what you like, so if you are interested in broadening your horizons, you always have to be aware that you can only follow and like “acceptable things”, this is especially bad for business as well, because it makes it so that your work and life balance is more difficult to separate if you accidentally liked some tweets 5 years ago when you were not a professional yet I have heard multiple stories from my friends and fellow freelancers that people have stalked their likes and who they follow, and have used it against them to judge them, this is not the type of behaviour i want a website to encourage, options should be given to users to make them decide for themselves 3. “Recent tweets from x”, a notification in your notification tab that is purely designed to keep you engaged on the platform, it is not a real notification, and you cannot disable it, because it is designed to be annoying, to keep you on the platform for as long as possible, to maximise potential ad revenue

4. The many “unwritten rules” of Twitter, for example, if you post a link or a hashtag in your tweet, then the tweet will get deboosted in the algorithm, this means that, for example, if you put a link to your music, your commission sheet, or your Twitch channel when you’re streaming in a tweet, the tweet will appear less in people’s feeds, even if they follow you (I have heard this often from people that followed me, “i missed your tweet about the stream even though i followed you”, it is very common)

5. Twitter is not a space for reasonable debate, the short tweets lack context, and therefore, are often spread into threads of multiple replies, but only 3 of these replies will appear on people’s feed, this means that a lot of the times, a lot of the context of a longer text is missing, because Twitter hides many of the tweets that are part of the text Not only that, but the fact that every tweet in the thread is separate, means that people can take some tweets out of context and quote retweet it to cherrypick a specific sentence to argue with to make themselves look better, this encourages constant negative engagement focused on “dunking” on people for likes, retweets, and more followers (clout), rather than reasonable debate and discussion This has affected politics as well, and it becomes very obvious to see how this benefits populist parties, who are focused on fearmongering and short, memorable quips, a platform that promotes dark patterns for optimising negative and shocking engagement (for ad revenue of course) benefits them, and does not benefit political arguments that require more nuance, this makes screaming and dunking matches on Twitter a chaotic circus

6. Twitter boosts negativity and shock to optimise engagement for ad revenue, it does so by constantly sharing “recommended tweets” in the timeline for you to engage with, and often, these tweets are negative, an argument, or a controversial opinion, it is often bait, whether the original poster knows it or not, their tweet is boosted in the algorithm in order to increase the amount of engagement it gets, this is to ensure that users stay on the website, or think about the tweet, because negativity often sticks more in people’s mind that positivity, this is a psychological trick to keep users thinking more about Twitter, and thus using Twitter more, and the goal of this strategy is simple; ad revenue, it’s all designed to show metrics to investors and ad companies, to show them how much people use Twitter, so they can justify receiving more and more money by exploiting the misery of others

There are many more reasons. And this is just the beginning, this was all before Elon Musk came to power I do not have faith in Elon Musk

I consider Elon Musk to be an irresponsible businessman, unfit for leadership He is unpredictable, sporadic, pushes his national, moral, and political values in his website, does not respect his employees (he fired 6000 employees, which were kicked off with no warning, leaving them vulnerable without a job), does not respect freedom of speech (it’s just a marketing term for him, he has been banning journalists left and right from the platform for criticising his decisions, and not just journalists, but normal users as well, even criticising Twitter Blue (Twitter’s new subscription service) is not allowed anymore), he is short-sighted, petty, transphobic (he refuses to support his own trans daughter, and even blames “neo-marxists at educational institutions” (a conservative national populist conspiracy) for making her transition), he is manipulative, a conspiracy theorist, NFT supporter, crypto supporter, untrustworthy, and a liar

I could go on, there are many more reasons why Elon Musk has lost my respect

If you’d like to read more about Elon Musk’s mistakes, i recommend reading these articles; https://www.freepress.net/blog/elon-musk-worlds-worst-businessman And this one is especially important for my fellow LGBT+ followers: https://www.them.us/story/elon-musk-pride-month-tweet-likes-anti-trans

I’d like to make it clear that my arguments here are in no way, shape, or form, meant to be political They are criticism of Twitter and Elon Musk, as a platform, and no matter where you belong on the political spectrum, the direction of Twitter has undeniably become more negative for almost everyone Making music is my job, i require clients and reach to do my job properly as a freelancer, and Twitter has become more and more of a platform that discourages that, both for users and businesses Just to make it extra clear just in case: i do not talk about politics or drama, i am merely sharing info

Elon Musk has automatically disabled DM’s for everyone, except if they are Twitter Blue subscribers Twitter Blue is a subscription service that directly supports Elon Musk I consider the people that subscribe to Twitter Blue to be a part of the problem, they willingly support the undeniable negative actions of Elon Musk, and i firmly believe that if you are currently a subscriber to Twitter Blue, you should consider ending your subscription, because Elon Musk does not deserve your money Elon Musk introduced a limit to the amount of tweets you are allowed to see per day, encouraging dark patterns of you coming back every day since that’s when your limit gets reset, this is to keep you addicted Elon Musk has changed the company name to X, resulting in multiple legal disputes, and a lot of confusion Elon Musk has supported racist and LGBT+phobic people and politicians And there is so much more I’m leaving

I am just done I am done tolerating all this madness just for my career I don’t want to be on a website that does not respect me, my mental health, or my career The only reason i am still on Twitter is because it is “required”, because “everyone is there” Twitter is popular, this means that for freelancers like me, it is expected of me to be there, and i cannot deny that a large part of my clients have approached me through my Twitter DM’s, rather than email (potential clients, if you’re reading this, consider emailing me! I check my email every day!)

Twitter has become a hostile and unsustainable environment, both for personal and for business reasons, and i am leaving By “leaving”, i do want to clarify that i will not delete my accounts, i will keep my accounts, but they will not be active anymore, they will serve as a way for clients to contact me through DM’s, but i will not be active anymore on all of my accounts (@sylvysprit @sylvyspritart @sylvyspritii)

Instead, you can find me on Cohost and Tumblr, 2 social media websites that i prefer over Twitter My Cohost can be found at https://cohost.org/sylvysprit My Tumblr can be found at https://www.tumblr.com/sylvysprit (I also have personal accounts there, you can find them pretty easily, but they are not meant for my casual music fans or clients)

I have many reasons why i like Cohost, i’d like to share a short post about why i have decided to subscribe to Cohost Plus, a subscription service to support Cohost’s development financially https://cohost.org/sylvyspritii/post/1763282-yeah-i-did-it

There are many more reasons why i like Cohost Cohost is a website that respects the privacy and mental health of its users, their principles are strong, and their leadership is transparent and easily contactable Twitter’s downfall is inevitable, and it is up to you to decide which platform deserves your attention and/or support, and personally, i do not believe that Threads or Bluesky will be better than Twitter, because they do not fix the inherent issues of Twitter regarding its algorithms, business model, or negativity spiral for engagement, and i do not have much faith in the Fediverse either, because it is too difficult to understand for the average user Tumblr is alright, it’s popular, and has a strong legacy and track-record, it’s still going strong in 2023, but they tend to make too many unexpected and unwanted changes (NOTE EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE TUMBLR VERSION OF THIS POST: I'm talking about the 2018 stuff, if they can get that fixed, Tumblr will be the obvious winner in the War of Twitter Succession) Cohost is the platform i have decided is the most aligned with my desires for what a social media platform should be, so i have decided to support them

You can join Cohost right here: https://cohost.org I recommend reading the manifesto of the Cohost developers as well, so you can understand exactly what i mean when i am talking about the clear principles of Cohost as a platform: https://antisoftware.club/manifesto.html Cohost’s transparency regarding their finances is also something i respect: https://cohost.org/staff/tagged/financials

It’s up to you to decide which website you want to support, i am not forcing you to do anything, but i do hope that i have informed you properly about my decision to leave Twitter, and hopefully, you will consider joining other social media websites as well, it’s good to future-proof, in case things come crashing down

If you have come this far, then i’d like to thank you for taking your time to read this I wish you a very nice day, and the best of luck in your life

[userkoo]

this site is so sensitive when i mention tae and jk together. like i even saw a tiktok naming their fav pairings and for everyone it was fine but when it was taekook they had to disclaim it was (pLaToNiC) was that not implied by the rest of your list?? ppl are so scared to mention them at all but if he's with another member its fine. its annoying and ppl are so transparent

i actually don't think tumblr is a primary suspect among the list of platforms where people move weird about taekook,.. but i'm speaking as someone in a little bubble of mutuals who are normal people lol. i also have never ventured onto the hellscape that is the bts stan side of tiktok so i can't speak on that either (besides seeing screenshots of people on there calling normal behaviors from jungkook 'red flags'... oof.) most of the bullshit, in my experience, stems from twitter where, like you said, even a simple mention of them hanging out together can end up with people accusing you of being a 'shipper' or a 'diet solo.'

this is going to be rambly so i'm putting it under a read more for the sake of not clogging people's dashes, but here are some of my thoughts on fandom culture/shipping in general:

oh real quick for for transparency sake, i'll start this off by saying: 1. i don't care about the relationship status of any of the bts members. they're single to me unless they officially and publicly state otherwise without any privacy invading force involved. 2. i have no problem with fans thinking/implying bts members are queer. lgbt fans finding comfort and comradery in their favorite people isn't a bad thing. :)

now for the actual post~

the fan dynamics on twt are so different and if you even mention taehyung and jungkook in the same sentence or say that they're very obviously close friends, you might end up on some of those 'defend [insert member here]' accounts where they encourage people to block and report for the slightest of 'offenses.' and like you mentioned in your post, that's over people talking about them platonically!! or over people who simply read fic without ever insinuating they think they're actually dating.

the puritanical culture that exists in very large parts of the bts fandom (and was present in the 1d fandom as well) is so weird to witness. we can all have differing opinions on whether or not rpf is 'good' or not, but unless someone is sending fanfiction to bts personally... it is harmless. and it will always exist. you will never enter into a fan space where independent, 'non-canon' content isn't being created by fans... and why would you want to? so much of fandom culture and history is about creation (and is also super lgbt centric!!)

in my opinion, the only people who still get up in arms about shipping discourse in 2023 are those under 18 or those who have no previous fandom experience. after stanning harry styles since 2012, i have heard the 'gay rumors made them drift apart!!!' argument so many times that it is genuinely nausea inducing. (and my opinion on that is... if you are that turned off by people possibly thinking you're queer to the point where it makes you end an important friendship, you either weren't very close to begin with or you're homophobic. likely a combination of the two. gay rumors are not, and never will be, offensive. they are not something you need to protect your fave from. why is this the argument so often touted by fans? why would you WANT your favorite person's self image to be so fragile that they end friendships over rumors? and that's not even getting into the fact that skinship and performance is built into the literal DNA - lol - of kpop...)

like. maybe i'm just too old to care now but i genuinely could not give less of a fuck if people think jk and taehyung are in a relationship. i do not care. they're both beautiful people who are clearly fond of each other. do any of us know how deep that fondness runs? nope! and we never will! and that's more than okay because these are grown men with personal, private relationships that we will never be privy to... as it should be. as long as boundaries are respected, i don't care what people think to be true.

can shippers get overzealous? for sure. do the people who analyze their every move need a new hobby? most definitely. but i think it's more than obvious now that the people who go to insane lengths to invade their privacy are stalkers or people trying to dredge up dating rumors between them and women.

it gets especially transparent when you have videos and rumors online about bts members dating people they've never interacted with publicly (using 'liskook' as an example, there are youtube videos with 10million views about them. one posted ten hours ago has 52k views) but i never see them condemned with the level of vitriol i see people using when it comes to jk and taehyung. is that not weird?

idk man. there's no concise ending to this post. fandom culture just intrigues me which is why i have so much to say about all this. it's especially interesting to me how it intersects with queer culture - or directly opposes it.

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

💔💧🌟❤️💍☁️ for Jake/Ronnie, maybe in the penpal AU 🤷🏻‍♀️

M!!! Yes!! Ye ask and ye shall receive!

^ I know I used his face for some other oc recently, but he really does make a perfect baby hangman (he's got the toothpick and everything!)

💔: a breakup headcanon

I think we said they're about 13 when they start writing back and forth through some Gold Star Kid's program?? (the original post has been lost in the tumblr void somehow i literally can't find it to save my life). So obviously they've dated other people at some point or another, but in that very brief high school way where the relationship only lasts for a few months. But when they're like 17 and Ronnie starts talking about her new boyfriend?? It's the first time Jake gets jealous and he doesn't like it, and he tries not to celebrate when she writes a few months later to tell him they broke up.

💧: a sad headcanon

Jake asked Ronnie to senior prom. It lined up perfectly with her spring break, they had the flights booked, and everything was set up and ready to go. But then a storm rolled in and her flight got canceled. And there were no other flights that would let her make it on time. Ronnie cried for hours and Jake just didn't go to prom at all (cause OF COURSE he had been hyping up everyone finally getting to meet his childhood penpal, and him also finally getting to meet her in person).

🌟: a secret wish headcanon

Probably the worst-kept secret wish for them both is that they could meet in person. Especially after they lose contact. They just can't help but think how life would be so much different if they had actually met, looking back on all those years of back-and-forth letters with nostalgic regret.

❤️: a romantic headcanon

During their college/academy years, they always made sure that the other got something on Valentine's Day. Ronnie always sent him a care package with chocolates and a stuffie and heart-shaped confetti that always annoyed him but loved at the same time. Jake usually would send her a custom card that he would photoshop himself, usually using a picture of his own face lol

💍: a marriage headcanon

Do these two get married as soon as possible after they finally meet in person? Yes absolutely. They did their waiting. They know. Somehow they've always known.

☁️: a soft headcanon

I just love the idea of them finally meeting in person after all those years and Ronnie taking Jake over to her apartment just to show him the massive box she has kept the whole time of everything he ever sent her. And then Jake pulling out of his pocket the one letter of hers he keeps on his person at all times. One where she encouraged him and came very very close to telling him that she loved him. The paper has yellowed and the fold lines are starting to rip it's so well-loved and it's just so sweet.

emoji headcanon prompts

[rotationalsymmetry]

Let’s dissect the layers of offensiveness here. 1. Addressing someone you don’t actually have a personal relationship with (I assume) by a pet name (“sweets”.) Especially a guy doing that to a woman, which tends to come across as condescending at best and as a come-on at worst.

2. Likewise “I was just thinking about you” is the sort of things friends and other people who are close to each other say; it’s not a thing people generally say to someone they don’t really know. And acting like a stranger is your friend — acting in ways that are appropriate between friends but not between strangers, to a stranger — is rude. People get to decide who they are friends with, you can’t unilaterally just decide someone is your friend without their input (even though yes in practice people usually don’t formally say that they’re friends, there’s still a process that involves both people expressing interest in closeness.)

3. The next part goes to a new level off offensiveness: it assumes the asker here knows compassionatereminders’ (Kat’s) capabilities better than she does herself, or other people who have the professional expertise to assess another person’s capabilities. Now, this can throw some people off because there’s a general social rule that giving people encouragement is good. There are however many exceptions, and this is one of them. If Kat had said that she was considering higher education but was worried she’d struggle too much, then encouragement would be appropriate. Encouragement is appropriate (including from strangers) when someone wants to do a thing but is nervous about possibly failing. But Kat has said repeatedly that due to her disabilities this isn’t an option, and specifically that remote learning does not make it a viable option. It is more important to believe disabled people about their limitations than it is to encourage people (and in fact, generally disabled people do not find it at all encouraging to be told they can do a thing that they know they can’t.) True encouragement has to be for a thing the person actually wants and believes they have a chance of success at; or sometimes a thing they don’t have a realistic chance of success at but want to try anyways. That is emphatically not the case here.

4. it can be exceptionally frustrating when a disabled person has to say over and over again that they can’t do a thing most people can do. It’s embarrassing. And in general doing things that are likely to cause another person embarrassment is not good.

5. The advice is vague (get certified in what?) that’s not offensive exactly but it’s somewhat annoying. As is the repeated “I know you would excel”, which is a common sort of thing people say when they’re trying to be encouraging but it’s better not to imo even when encouragement is appropriate, the future is not actually knowable. Also, remote learning can be easier in some ways but can be harder in others, so it is inaccurate to say remote learning is easier for everyone.

6. People get more annoyed at an irritating thing that has happened a lot than one that has only happened once. I understand that Kat has received multiple communications “encouraging” her to continue with education. This makes every subsequent one more annoying. It’s possible on a social media site like tumblr for someone who wants to offer possibly unwanted advice to check if similar advice has been given in the past and how it was received, and if it was received poorly to not do that.

(I’m not particularly doing this for Kat, who has a perfectly functional response, I’m…just doing this because I’m kind of a nerd about trying to work out social rules and I know sometimes these things aren’t obvious to everyone and I think it helps to spell out why some asks are received badly when others are received well, rather than assuming everyone can work it out easily from experience without needing to consciously understand what’s going on.)

Hey sweets I was just thinking about you. You know if I was you wouldn’t put higher education out of your realm. Just wait and listen to me. I think and I’m almost certain you would excel in an academic program. I know you read and well versed in mental illness. I was just thinking take a year course online and get certified. You could add a title of credits to your endeavor and that is mental illness. Not just schizophrenia, but you understand other disorders to. I know you would excel and I bet you  would enjoy it.  There’s a lot of things that you already know about meant to illness and it would be a breeze to pass the test .  You would run across a lot of things that you already know in you would learn new things. I know you could do it. College is so easier now that you don’t have to go to a physical location and you can do it just online. In my day you have to go to every class physically. Wake up, brush your teeth take a shower and get your ass in the class. But now it’s much easier to obtain a credential. Just food for thought.

I really don't appreciate asks like these. Do you really think I would have applied for disability benefits if I could easily "excel in an academic environment"? Do you really think I would have gotten approved for said benefits if "getting those credentials would be a breeze"? Do you really mean to imply that my reasons for not having that college degree or even high school diploma are invalid and fake? Because that's what you're saying between the lines, even if it's meant as encouragement.

[hiddennerdworld]

MHA Couples Dynamics with art by @leecheedoodles| Too Cool for Skool x Keener (Reader x Iida)

Masterlist

Warnings: none, all fluff stuff

A/N: eeeee I’m so excited about this. I saw this art and immediately was inspired. I would really like to do a series based on these. This is all thanks to leechee doodles here on Tumblr. They are v talented so check them out! I’ve seen others use their art, but if they don’t want me to I can always take it down. Enjoy :)

You and Iida definitely got off on the wrong foot

You guys didn’t hate each other per say, but you annoyed each other for sure

Iida just wanted his fellow classmates to be successful and tried to encourage you as class rep. And you just wanted to only take part in the aspects of hero work that you actually enjoy

In your own ways, you both stressed each other out

Iida would give you lectures any time you ditched class, saying you needed to be responsible in order to be the best hero you can be

You just stood and rolled your eyes the entire time with your arms crossed over your chest

Eventually, one day Iida just said fuck it (he didn’t actually phrase it that way bc he doesn’t use the bad words) and picked you up and carried you to class.

The whole time with you kicking and screaming, which doesn’t affect him bc he’s a fucking tree

This became routine. Iida was with you almost 24/7, keeping you in line. This caused even more tension between you guys

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Well you wouldn’t if you stopped acting like a baby and attended to your duties!” *snickers* “You’re gonna tell me you’re not a baby when you can’t even not laugh at the word ‘duty’?!!!”

The bickering wouldn’t stop and it was driving EVERYONE crazy

So as Aizawa solves all problems, he paired up the duo with pent up frustration for their final exam

You guys were rolling your eyes when you saw you had to work together but weren’t surprised tbh

It seemed like you guys weren’t gonna make it, but at the last second you were able to distract Cementoss and give Iida an in to dash up and capture him

You guys cheered and high fived when you realized you’d passed, the negative feelings towards each other forgotten

Afterward you guys had a talk.

“Good job out there today, Iida. I’m impressed on how you came up with a strategy so quick. I guess studying so much does actually help, huh.”

“Thank you, L/N! I appreciate the kind words, especially coming from someone who has such good control over their quirk like yourself!”

The whole time both of you were staring at the ground, blushing to hard to look at the other person while complimenting them. Iida still did the hand waving tho lmao

Afterwards, Iida still kept an eye on you always bc he thinks you have a lot of potential and wants you to do well

And you don’t find him as annoying anymore, so don’t really try to avoid him

This ends up with you guys basically just hanging out rather than him chaperoning you.

Training, studying, making food, you guys are together a lot

You and Iida occupied a table in the dining area for your studies for the millionth night in a row. The other students know better than to disturb you at this point. Yes, you guys are friends now, but you still bicker like an old married couple.

“I could really go for some ice cream right now,” you said while leaning back in your chair.

“L/N! You know that stuff isn’t good for you! Why do you wish to consume such sugary content?! Why don’t you eat an apple instead?!”

“I don’t think that’s how cravings work. Besides we have training tomorrow and always so I will still be keeping myself in shape. It’s one treat.”

“L/N, we are studying to become the best heroes! We need to be responsi-“

“But that’s just it! We are always going to be working to be the best we can be. You need to be able to enjoy yourself. Life isn’t all about work, you know?” You said standing up and grabbing his arm, “We’re going out. Come on!”

“Absolutely not! It is after curfew! It would be dangerous and-“ Iida lectured on and on until you guys were basically in front of the ice cream place. He tried to get you to stay back, but you were surprisingly strong when you were determined. (Also, he probably wasn’t resisting as much as he could’ve).

You guys went in and ordered. You got cookie dough with some chocolate syrup on top, and Iida got a scoop of vanilla on a cone, only because you insisted he get something. After you got the ice cream you went to a nearby park and sat on a bench.

“Mmmmmm this is so good. Totally worth it.” You say as you take your first bite, eyes closed while enjoying the delicious dessert.

“I’m not sure if it was worth breaking the rules, but as long you are enjoying yourself I guess it’s alright.”

“That’s because you got the most boring flavor. Here try some of mine.” You said raising a spoonful up to him.

This caused his face to go red and he stared at you with wide eyes for a few seconds before speaking. “No, L/N! I appreciate the offer but it would be inappropriate. Mine is perfectly fine and-“

As he was rambling, you shoved the spoon in his mouth, making him blush even harder. “L/N! You could’ve choked me.”

“But was it good though?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He said at almost a whisper.

A shit-eating grin grew on your face, “Told ya so. See, Iida look.” You gestured over to the sight in front of you. There were people scattered throughout the park enjoying their night, and you could even see the glowing city in the distance. “We are a part of what makes this all possible. There wouldn’t be people out here living their lives if we didn’t keep them safe. It may not be too often, but we still get to relish in the world we created too. It reminds us why we do what we do.”

Iida couldn’t help but just stare at you for a hot minute. You looked gorgeous under the moonlight while you looked around in awe. You were more wise than he ever gave you credit for. He had always thought you were carefree, but actually you just had cared about things differently than him and he failed to realize.

“You’re right, L/N. We should be able to enjoy this more often.”

“We?”

“Of course. Why would I do something fun without you?” Now you started to get all flustered. Feeling heat rush to your face, you covered it with your hands and looked toward the ground. “Are you alright? Sorry I didn’t mean to say anything that would upset you.”

“No, don’t worry. You didn’t upset me. I would love to spend some time with you.”

So you guys did. Well you already spent a lot of time together already but now you guys would go out and do something fun if you had free time

Like instead of training on the weekends, you guys sometimes walked around the park.

And every time you’d go, you guys would also visit the ice cream shop you guys went to that one night and try a new flavor

You also were participating more in class. You’re grades were getting better from the beginning of your guys’ relationship, but now you actually were invested.

After a test, you would show Iida your grade and thank him for all his help, and he would be so proud and excited for you

Of course, your classmates started to catch onto you guys being more and more friendly with each other

Hagakure snuck up on you guys one day while you were studying. “Alright, when did you two start dating? We all thought you hated each other but now we know it was all an act to throw us off, so spill the beans.”

“Oh, no we’re not dating.” You replied

“Well..” Iida started to talk and your eyes darted towards him

“I mean now that someone has said it, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating you, L/N. I really enjoy my time with you and think you’re a great person. Could I take you on an official date?”

“Y-yea I would really like that.”

“Awwww that was so adorable! I can’t believe I just help you guys get together!” She skipped out of the room, on her way to tell everyone her accomplishments

“Sorry, L/N, that probably wasn’t the best timing.”

“Call me Y/N”

“O-oh okay… Y/N. I’m looking forward to going out with you.”

“Me too, Tenya.” You said smiling and grabbing his hand.

Barely anything was said the rest of the time, but you guys couldn’t stop smiling and you didn’t let go of each other’s hands. Safe to say no information was retained from this study session

[envythepalmtree]

I'm back!

Tl,dr: I'm changing my tagging system, so change your blacklist accordingly.

Hi everyone!! I missed you guys. 💚💚 How's everyone been? I've opened up my ask box again so feel free to say hi!

Housekeeping notes:

I'll be changing up my blog's tagging system a little, so you might need to block some more tags to make sure you're only seeing the content you want to see.

Accessibility: I do image descriptions on pictures to make them accessible for screenreaders and anyone else who might need them. Here's a post on what they are and why they're important. I've been tagging my own IDs, whether for my image or a reblog on someone else's, with #image described. If the ID isn't mine, it's tagged as #has id.

If, for whatever reason, I can't ID an image, I'll tag it as #no id. If you use a screenreader, you might want to block it. This is also the tag I've been using for other universally screenreader-unfriendly posts (eg emojipastas), but I'm going to start using #screenreaders don't look, so if you need to, please block that tag as well.

I'm also aware that some screenreaders will support certain languages, but not others. For example, my laptop's screenreader will read Chinese or Japanese characters as "unidentified ideograph! unidentified ideograph!" extremely loudly and it's very annoying. And some screenreaders support Chinese characters but won't read Arabic. Et cetera. To get around this, I'll be tagging with with #[language] characters for the individual languages. For example, #chinese characters on posts that contain Chinese characters. No need to block every language in existence--these are the ones that might show up on my blog:

#chinese characters for posts on Xing and/or me being a Chinese person unable to shut up about cool culture things

#japanese characters because that's FMA's original language

#arabic letters, possibly, for worldbuilding-related things

#hebrew letters, also possibly for worldbuilding

If one of those is a language your screenreader doesn't support, block it!

Additionally, I'll get around to changing my blog theme at some point. It's been the default theme since I made this in December 😂 If anyone knows of simple, dark themes that are accessible (like a dyslexic-friendly font, screenreader-friendly layout, etc) please let me know!

Content warnings: I used to tag my posts as "#[content] tw" (To stand for "trigger warning." For example, "#death tw" on a post about death). I'll be changing that to "#[content] cw" which stands for "content warning" - I feel like "content warning" better represents all the reasons someone might have a certain tag filtered. So if there's content you want to avoid, please make sure you have the the tag blacklisted with "cw"! If there's something specific you want me to tag, shoot me an ask and I'll make sure it's always tagged.

Temporary intro (since this'll be my pinned post for a bit)

Hi!! I'm Aure (she/her) and I'm obsessed with FMA. I especially love analyzing the homunculi or fleshing out Xingese culture, and I will LOVE you if you ask me about my homunculi headcanons or my Xingese Roy headcanons. I am in the Chinese diaspora and have adhd, so Roy's my favorite character to project on, lol.

I write metas and headcanon posts sometimes. I also write image descriptions, and it is my mission to get the FMA fandom to make their stuff accessible ❤️ So I reblog and ID art to both hype up cool creators and help them make it accessible. If I've gotten something wrong in an ID of your work, send me an ask and I'll fix it.

(I also should mention. since a lot of y'all said you followed me for the memes. that. the memes exist hehe)

I'm aureshadow on AO3.

My fma fics:

so I throw stones at walls I'll never climb

Media Version: Brotherhood and Manga

Tags: Angst and Feels, Character Study

Words: 2,553

Envy used to have debates like that with Lust.

An absurd picture popped into Envy’s head of having a pseudo-angry conversation like that with someone who wasn’t a sibling. A human. Having someone look at them like that couple looked at each other. Something in their chest contracted.

“Pride’s really driving me crazy now, huh,” they muttered. “Imagine me, Envy, stooping down to the level of those worms.” Their eyes watered a little - they hadn’t slept too much. ~~~ Mrs. Bradley wants her son to make friends, and Pride enlists Envy to be a fake friend. Envy isn’t good at acting - not like Pride is. Not like Lust was. But they’ll try their best, and they’ll make Father happy. If it’s unpleasant, they’ll use memories of inflicting horrors of humans to cheer themself up. An exploration of Envy’s relationship with Pride, grief over Lust, and resentment towards humans for the unconditional love that Envy never had.

wove between himself like a waterfall

Media Version: All Media Types

Tags: Poetry, poetry based on fic

Blackout poem from Marelle by SiryyGray!

All in a night's work

Media Version: Brotherhood and Manga

Tags: two homunculi, Walk Into A Bar, one has explosives, Humor, Crack, my tumblr anons forced me to write this fic

Words: 892

Envy gets drunk. Lust has to clean up their mess.

Other links:

All my original posts

Headcanons masterpost

FMA blogs you should follow

Posts about IDs and accessibility that I highly encourage you reblog:

Why image descriptions are important

On alt text

Why you shouldn't remove the ID on a post

The FMA fandom in particular really should do better. because yknow. Edward is disabled. (via @edisacornball)

Support artists who are making their content accessible!! (via @antimonarchy)

[zahara-fire]

Long Post Discussing Dream TWT: Featuring Fan, Hate, and Trending Talks Mostly (Interaction Absolutely Encouraged)

(A lot of this can actually be applied to all fanbases but I chose the one relevant to my current interests and issues that were on my radar.)

I made a post previously that my love for mcyts (Specifically members of the Dream SMP) was dying because of nonstop Dream hate on Twitter. I felt like I couldn't safely look through a trending tag (which will be a separate discussion in this) without having to also see endless insults, attacks, and belittlement amongst people just trying to have fun with CCs. To make this understandable and easy for me to keep on theme I'm gonna break it down into the relevant topics also this is absolutely open for discussion as long as everyone is being respectful. Do not insult people and if they seem like a troll just leave them be.

Fans vs Stans:

So this, I think, is a center point for the Dream hate. It feels that anyone expressing interest in Dream and related CCs content is immediately targeted and made fun of because obviously you can't enjoy something without being an awful person to people who don't enjoy said thing. That last statement was sarcastic (just so its clear). People especially on Twitter will be relentless in preying on just basic fans for simply posting about a funny moment. They claim its because its annoying and nonstop and all of their fans are obviously brainwashed.

No. Just. No.

Enjoying something means you consume it. If you enjoy sports you watch the team play. No one says yeah this is my favorite team I watched one game once. That would be ridiculous. So it makes no sense to attack people for watching a person's content and knowing their content when they're a fan of said content.

That being said, yes people can get carried away and be rude to people for no reason. This however includes people hating on fans simply for being fans. You can't say you're disrespectful to all fans because one time a few were rude to you. Every fan base has rude people and at this point in the internet people WILL talk more about bad than good so please don't assume the worst because you heard a story or saw one wildly talked about incident where a small percentage of fans were involved and where other fans were actively telling the others to chill out.

Trending and Interaction:

This is the topic I sort of touched on in my last post. So to summarize, Dream and his friends trend A LOT. This isn't surprising as one, they're popular at the moment and two, they're streamers so when something happens a ton of people all know at once and will post at once. That's how trending works after all.

Here's where it gets annoying though, and no, not due to fans. Fans are allowed to post about content they enjoy and are allowed to joke and interact online with people who enjoy the same content. So you can't gatekeep the trending tab. It's literally impossible and just because its not enjoyable for you and not something you're interested in doesn't mean it shouldn't be trending.

This is where interaction comes in. Twitter and pretty much every social media ever tracks what you consume. This is why Twitter actually has multiple trending pages. The "For you" trending is what we'll mostly be discussing now though. The "For you" trending is the first page it opens up and will consist of things Twitter knows you interact with. So in other words, constantly viewing Dream and related content just to get angry and insult people? Guess what! You just ensured it will constantly be on your radar. Easy solution? Don't interact with content you don't enjoy. Yes you won't always be able to avoid it but this is true for everything. Just do your best and watch out for your own interests as best as possible (this statement applies to the actual trending page as well). Unless you're intentionally interacting just so you can continue bullying people its not that hard to avoid. And if you are doing that, I feel really sorry that you don't have something you actually enjoy to consume instead of just spreading hate (this is genuine not an attack).

CC Relationships:

A lot of Dream and related creator haters often state that the creators and fans have an unhealthy relationship. This is not a fair statement to the standard fan. People who actually show obsessive traits and attack people over their creators do have an unhealthy connection, but what is not unhealthy is-

Enjoying a creators content

Following their social media

Making posts and content about creators

These actions are literally the basis of being a fan of content. So no, posting about something a creator said or did is not creepy and obsessive just because its not funny or entertaining to you. Its like when your friend does something stupid and you will randomly bring it up whenever you can because it was a funny moment. Thats essentially what this is. No, we are not friends of the creators most of the time, but we do have a relationship to the creators. Most of the time with CCs their fan base consists of people with similar interests, senses of humor, and personalities. So we can relate to the things that happen with them and their friends and since they're broadcasting it we will find it funny when they find it funny. And that's okay and shouldn't be a hot take.

Also creators saying they love their fans is not a bad thing. Platonic love of people who share in your accomplishments, support you, and encourage your growth is not a bad thing. Thats what this type of relationship is and should be with CCs. They are where they are because people connected with them and they connected with those people. Let them express that admiration and gratitude.

Joking vs Attacking:

Final rant because this is already long and probably won't get attention anyways. A lot of Dream fans have tough skin after being a part of this sudden shift to mainstream and constant hate. This means that sometimes fans will make their own jokes about hating the fans even though they are one. However, this can sometimes be extremely misleading and damaging to see. No I'm not saying you can't make these jokes after all some are actually really funny! But try to make it clear that you aren't actually a part of the people who are actively trying to tear down a fanbase. Sometimes intentions don't come across well and insults can actually be, well, insulting when not phrased correctly. This is by no means an attempt at gatekeeping but rather just a general public announcement as a fan who often times saw something that actually added to the sadness of feeling constantly attacked and belittled only to see that the poster was also a fan.

That was long and probably a little all over the place so if you made it this far just know that I appreciate you and hope you're doing well in these times. 💕 I just really needed a place to get out these thoughts and figured hey Tumblr is significantly less mean than Twitter in my experience so let's attempt this.

Final statement! If you see this in a tag you think it shouldn't be in or know a tag you think I should add please let me know! I'm still new to posting my own content and don't want to cause problems where there need not be any.

[fallenhero-rebirth]

Brain update

First, let me say that this isn't about what anybody has done. My reactions are not in proportion to anything that has happened, and might be considered odd, weird and sensitive to people involved.

So let me explain.

I'm an Aspie (what we call ourselves in Sweden), on the autism spectrum. Yeah, might have guessed that from the story I'm writing, Sidestep is not the only one trying to figure out how people work.

Over the years I have built up an arsenal of knowledge and analysis to be able to pretend to be neurotypical, something that I can manage alright most days, but which breaks down once you get to know me better. I'm open with this at my current job, and luckily both my bosses seem to be okay dealing with open communication and just telling me what I need to do.

It was not always like this, and that is one of the reasons why I had a breakdown and needed to get off discord/tumblr.

Back in the late nineties, I had finally got my dream job. I was a product developer in the food industry, part of a rather small department of middle-class academics. I was the new hire, everyone else had worked there for years, and things were going well. Or so I assumed. I got cool projects, got along well with one of the sales people, and well, my boss was weird but bosses always are.

Three years later. Our parent company wanted to sell us off, everyone was starting to get worried about their job. We tried to expand into things were weren't equipped to do (you don't bring spices into a fruit jam line, will be hell to clean) and while I did the projects, I also raised an (in retrospect) too big stink about the fact that we were wasting time developing things we couldn't produce without expanding. My boss (who I had learned was a devout christian) started to get really weird, I got called in and he wondered if I was a member of a cult (I was often wearing a headscarf at the time because pressure on my head is good for stress relief). I also got told off for wearing army boots to work (we had lab shoes in the lab), because (I kid you not) if we had danish visitors to the lab (we didn't have visitors) they could be offended since they had once been occupied by Nazis. Yes, at the time I was an Antifa metalhead/satanist, it was a very volatile time in sweden and nazis were everywhere. Now they're a political party, go figure.

It all came to a head when I was confronted with a folder one of the secretaries of the department had where she had written down every odd and strange thing that I did, and there were a lot of accusations of things I quite frankly blocked out. Around this time I was suffering from bad burnout, had memory loss, my hair was falling out and I lost two bikes because I forgot where I parked them. All because of workplace hostility.

So for the first time ever, I went to the company doctor, who immediately sent me on a one month sick leave, and gave a reference to a therapist. When I went and told my boss, his reaction was "It can't be anything at work," in a dismissive tone. I wrote my resignation right then and there, left the building, snuck back a Saturday to clean out my stuff so I didn't have to meet anyone. Luckily I was backed up by my union, so I got unemployment despite quitting, and the therapist helped me get back on my feet and hook me up with some antidepressants.

Still, I was a wreck for years.

At the time, I had NO idea I was an Aspie. It weren't talked about, the only thing I knew about Autism, was from the various portrayals in movies, and well, in the nineties you can guess. Rainman pretty much was it.

What destroyed me the most was not that people disliked me, I didn't like them either, we didn't have anything in common, and middle-class people always scared me. No, what broke me was the fact that my system failed.

See, I had built up myself over ten years into someone I wanted to be. Smart. Capable. Metalhead. Researcher. Activist. I thought I knew the rules. How to interact.

It turned out I knew nothing. People had been talking behind my back for years, and I didn't know. Getting annoyed by my ticks, and I had no idea. Nobody ever brought anything up to my face until it exploded one day out of the blue. This is why I have ranted about anons on this tumblr. This is why I have been so openly against passive aggressive posts and bullying, especially the anonymous kind, because it destroys people and I don't think the people who does it knows the impact they can have. I hope they don't.

I have never gone back to the lab. I can't. I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about it when I'm writing this. I retrained. Became a machinist. Back to the working class I came from. Eventually started writing.

And this is exactly what these last months have felt like.

I thought I understood things. I was pretty open with being old, an Aspie, not understanding memes, or humor, or tik tok, or certain aspects of people's behavior like jealousy, but the problem with joking about this is that it's so easy to take as just a joke. That I'm just making fun of myself (oh it's that too). I got advice from some of you, which I ignored, because I thought that I could be different. That there was no danger in getting close. That I could be just another voice in the crowd. An occasionally evil avocado. That this couldn't blow up in my face, that everything was cool.

And then it did. And I was wrong. And the talking started, and things were coming out that I had no idea that was going on. That I was being held responsible for. Opinions that were spoken in my name. Events I was supposed to have been aware of and supported. All of a sudden I was omniscient, aware of the true passive aggressive meaning of every reblog, aware of every post in every room in the discord I wasn't even running. Wasn't even a mod on. All of a sudden I had power, and I had used it to hurt people. The people I cared about. Everything I wrote was taken in the worst possible way, twisted into things I never meant, and the more I tried to talk to people, the worse it went.

Look. I know this was at heart a war between people that just doesn't like each other and the things they do/the ways they behave. I'm still not entirely sure who's been involved, and I'm not interested in finding out. I tried to build a supportive space, reblog everyone's art and fics, encourage people to make their own things, get a kofi, get some money, make some friends.

And herein lies my problem.

I thought I understood how to be, and now I don't. I have no idea who hates my guts and who doesn't (well, except some who has very vocally let me know). I can't trust anything. I can't trust anyone. And it sucks. Someone I trusted stabbed be in the back because they were convinced I stabbed them in the back and that sucks more than I can describe. Every time I make a comment on AO3 or twitter it's after psyching myself up for half an hour, and I'm usually a wreck afterwards, because my brain doesn't know if they hate me too, and if I am imposing on them and making their day bad.

So yeah. I need to figure out how to be. How not to have a nausea attack every time I accidentally click open tumblr from pure reflex, looking away from the screen just not to see how may messages I have.

I never wanted to be the aloof author, but maybe I have to be. The question is if I can. I have been told I can't comment on pics or fics, because then I have favorites. And that makes people jealous. And it makes people think I take sides. I have been told I can't be on the discord, because then I will be held responsible for what the mods do there, and everything that's said even when I'm not around. I should apparently have someone manage the tumblr, it's not something that I, an author should do.

I now understand the authors who just stay away and remain distant, because people give themselves the power to write the narrative for you.

Part of me wants to tell people what I've told my current bosses, don't assume, just talk to me. I don't pick up/do passive aggression, I don't understand hints, I have trouble with nuance, I don't listen to gossip, I don't interact enough to know anything that's going on. Just ask before assuming.

Except that right now I can't. I can't talk about any of this. It's too close. It sets me off. It's getting better, sure, I'm on medication again, but the smallest thing still can ruin my entire day. I have no idea how long it will take me to recover and come back to some semblance of normality. I'm not posting this myself (my partner does). Writing is going well, because it lets me not be myself. I need those walls again. The therapy of writing about pain.

I'll rebuild them. I'm not entirely sure who I'll be on the other end of it. We'll see.

I have consciously not spoken about any details because those could be misunderstood, this is not a passive aggressive callout to anybody. I have no hard feelings towards anyone, I am not angry or upset, just confused and sad. I am truly so very, very, very sorry that I've hurt people, both by action and inaction. It was never my intention. I will do my best to do better in the future.

Still working on how to do that.

[chicoriii]

Your Miraculous Story

Since there's a Sweet-ember event in the fandom for 5th anniversary of Miraculous, I think it's the perfect moment to make a post I wanted to for a long time but I was too busy with making fanarts or too lazy to write this.

How and when you got introduced to the Miraculous? And what was your first impression?

I haven't seen a single episode until October 2019 (or late September, I'm not sure), but I have already heard about the show around 2016. The Chat Noir fanart of my old friend I have seen on her deviantART (she also has Tumblr account, but that’s inactive for over 2 years) was my first encounter with Miraculous I remember. We were close internet friends around 10 years ago (we have even met in real life once), both active in the Pokémon community on deviantART back then. Although I haven't talked to her for years, I had used to visit her DA from time to time. I have heard about the show more times before the second half of 2019, but I have never tried to watch it.

That changed when Puls 2, a Polish television station which isn't a typical kid channel but it shows variety of animations from 6 to 20 (even movies in weekends), has began airing Miraculous in September 2019 (from the start it was the whole season 1 and the first half of season 2). Of course the Polish Disney Channel also airs Miraculous since 2015 like most of European countries, but Puls 2 is quite easily accessible, while all the Disney channels are not (I have never had access to any in my house). I have much contact with kids shows on TV thanks to children around me and since we're watching Puls 2 often (their selection of cartoons is quite good, in my opinion definitely the best from all channels I have access to, even if there's also that annoying Alvin and the Chipmunks CGI animation). So I had to see Miraculous sooner or later there. I have also been very curious about the show as I have been aware it's popular among adults. And finally it did happen around October I have mentioned above.

I don't remember the exact first episode I have seen, but I think it was something from season 2 (that's why it's more possible that it happened in October than September). Now I think it could be Despair Bear. My first impression wasn't too good. I couldn't realized what makes Miraculous special among other kid shows. For instance in Despair Bear I have seen a typical bully girl (though thankfully without a group of other snobbish girls who admire her, like in many other shows) who isn't well-liked among kids in the school (which was very good in my opinion), but that main male, who is the love interest of the lead female, likes her for some reason. Back then I hadn't understand their relationship, so I thought he defended her only because the show writers wanted him to be that Perfect Boy who is nice for everyone, no matter how terrible persons they are. So I really disliked Adrien at first, he seemed to be too perfect to me (I just haven’t taken into account his Chat Noir side). I had no idea how much wrong I was, both Adrien and Chloé are more complicated characters than I could imagine back then. Despite all that, I decided to give a show a chance and try to watch it online after some time but still in October.

I started with season 2, because I thought it should be better than season 1 for some reason. My intuition wasn't wrong in that case, I like season 2 (and 3) much more than the first one. I had much time on my hands then, so I have seen all seasons 1 and 2 episodes in Polish and subs of most of season 3 before November. In Poland season 3 has premiered on 4th November, but the whole season was aired in just a month (the finale has premiered on 6th December, both episodes were aired at the same day, one after another). I have been drawn into Miraculous fandom quickly and I have created my Tumblr blog on 15th December.

In this post we are doing also tag people we're curious the most, to encourage them to tell their Miraculous story. But there's no pressure to write anything. If you're not interested just ignore it.

@vampexx @veroocasanova @zinnianana @flightfoot @familyagrestefanblog @emsylcatac @kisilinramblings @whimsicallyconfusedforlife @miraculousmyblog 

And everyone who wants to. I invite everyone to creating a post with our Miraculous stories. Thank you. :)

[acnelli]

Bearded Glory

I finally found the time to put my one-shots on Tumblr too. I wrote this one for @hillyminne who organised and still organises these lovely hangouts. Here’s the masterpost with all the fun and lovely things which had been created as a thank you for Hilly <3 I would also like to thank @manny-bgm and @abradystrix for beta-reading and Brit-picking this story. You might detect some things inspired by Hilly’s art and @rijsamurai‘s Auror Ron.

When Ron came back from Auror training, Hermione found herself being quite fond of a certain change in Ron's appearance.

This story is also available on FFN and AO3.

Two bloody years finally over, Ron thought, as he robbed through thick, cold mud, already able to make out the finish line, which should be not even a mile away, according to Ron’s calculations.

Through the splashing and gurgling of their muddy underground, Ron could make out Harry’s heavy breathing and the occasional swear word from somewhere behind him. “Just one more mile, mate.”, Ron shouted, craning his neck towards his friend, almost hitting his head on a tree trunk above him. “One mile and we’re done with this shite.” Harry didn’t bother to answer as he was quite busy to ignore the burn in his lungs.

As Ron reached the end of their last obstacle, he leaped up from the ground, trying to get a footing with all the muddy water in his shoes. Not an easy task, since the ground was slippery and a fountain of water made its way down from his hair and drenched clothes. Careful to not lose his trainers, he ran towards the finish line with wobbly legs and what seemed to be a thousand tiny needles attacking his lungs. With a slight jump, and something between a groan and a cry of relief, he finally made it, immediately breaking down onto the ground.

“Well done, my boys.”, a chipper female voice broke through Ron’s awareness, though it honestly surprised him he heard it in the first place, considering he was wheezing his lungs out.

“Elly…please.”, Harry groaned, who must have collapsed beside him just a few seconds ago. Ron couldn’t tell for sure though, since he still tried not to pass out. “I…Just go away.”, his best mate demanded between heavy breaths. Ron only gave an agreeing grunt. Elly, their mentor and trainer for the last two years of Auror training, just laughed, kneeling between Harry and Ron, smiling down at them.

“You did it.”, she sang completely out of tune, while giving both men what probably should’ve been an encouraging pat on the knee. Although Ron and Harry yelped in pain from this pat on their scraped skin, and were still being unable to move a muscle, Elly stood up, clapped her hands and demanded of them to stand up.

“We just have an hour until you leave for home, and you will certainly not take this Portkey until I have a proper picture with my two accomplishments,” the young witch stated, hands on her hips, but still that annoying smirk in place.

Ron and Harry knew better than to argue with her about that. Truth be told, they didn’t have a problem with this particular picture, since they both wanted to have a reminder of the day that marked the ending of both the most annoying, but also the greatest two years of their lives.

“Alright, alright.”, Ron sighed, trying to muster up the little energy he got left to stand up, reaching his hand out to Harry, who did the same. With the two men standing in an upright position again, Elly gave them both one of her famous bear hugs, while telling her trainees how proud she was of them. Despite the still aching muscles and side stiches from hell, they returned the hug in earnest, while only just realizing that this was the start of a whole new adventure.

“We could’ve never done this without you.”, Ron smiled at Elly. “But you surely could’ve warned us about this last run, as you liked to call it. Honestly, we could’ve died or something.”

“You Gryffindors sure have a tendency to exaggerate, haven’t you?”

“I rather think you Hufflepuffs have a tendency to underplay,” Harry countered, cleaning his glasses.

“Said it before and I’ll say it again, you Hufflepuffs are barmy,” Ron said with a playful voice. “Before you drag us off to brag about us, where are the showers, woman?”

************

After taking a well-deserved shower, Harry and Ron changed into their formal Auror robes. And not their everyday work attire either, but the fancy black robes, which Elly insisted them on wearing. The two friends were both secretly happy to parade these around, since they looked bloody good in them.

Two years of Auror training lay behind them, and Ron was torn between feeling relieved and strangely sad. Those last four months happened to be their final Boot Camp, as Elly liked to call it, which mainly consisted of training for their Auror test. Due to the painful shortage of staff in the Auror Office, their training got shortened to two years, making it much more intense as a result. This last run though wasn’t part of the test, but nothing less than an Auror training tradition, so of course, it had to be done, much to the young men’s dismay.

“I have to admit…I kind of like this.”, Ron mused, running his hand over his beard, as he watched his reflection in one of the mirrors of the changing room.

“Suits you quite well, mate.”, Harry said, as he closed the last silver button on his cloak.

Neither of them had bothered to properly shave this last four months. Their days usually consisted of waking up, training and learning all day, and sleeping as soon their heads hit the pillow. As a result, they both looked quite wild in the end, hair and beard much longer than usual. Of course, Elly wouldn’t have any of this, so she had given Ron and Harry a complete make-over the day before their test, ignoring their protests all together. As it turned out, she happened to be quite talented with beauty charms, so they didn’t exactly hate the way they looked now. Even though Ron usually never let his facial hair grow beyond some three-day stubble, Elly surprised him with only trimming his unruly beard, leaving it just well-groomed.

“Come on, let’s get this picture, and then we can finally leave for good.” Harry suggested. So, they both gathered their wands and made their way towards the rest of their group.

After what seemed to be a thousand blinding flashes, Elly had been satisfied with the result, promising them to send copies of the pictures as soon as possible.

Harry and Ron were ready to take the Portkey home, saying goodbye to everyone and promising to make it on time for the official festivities next weekend.

In all the hustle to get the Portkey on time, Ron completely missed the mischievous glint in Harry’s eyes.

************

Hermione tried not to stare. Actually, she figured that she never tried harder to not look at Ron. Of course, she failed spectacularly.

Harry, you sneaky little monster., Hermione thought, sending one of her death glares his way, which he successfully didn’t notice all evening.

That bloody picture was my undoing, really. And Harry is well aware of that, isn’t he?

Around midday, a couple of hours before Ron and Harry came back from their last day of Auror training, Harry’s owl Athena arrived at her parents’ home, delivering a small envelope. After taking the letter, she fed the exhausted bird some treats, and let her relax in her room for a while. She came all the way from the Isle of Skye after all.

What was so important that Harry couldn’t tell her in person tonight? As she opened the white envelope, there was just a single photograph falling out. She picked it up from the floor, reading the note on the back of it first.

Dear Hermione,

thought you might appreciate this picture Elly took of Ron, minutes before his wandless magic demonstration. Honestly, look at him Hermione…you got some fine ginger snack coming back to you.

See you later,

 Harry

As she turned over the picture, she couldn’t help but agree. Ron clearly hadn’t noticed, or hadn’t cared that Elly took pictures of him, as he looked concentrated and nervous. His eyebrows knit, and eyes slightly narrowed, he held up his right hand, obviously practicing the lightning charm, as lightning bolts evolved from his half-closed fist.

This alone could’ve resulted in Hermione starring at this picture forever, but what really got her obsessing over it, had been Ron’s beard.

Ron with a beard. An actual beard. And by all that’s holy, he looked so incredibly good with it.

Merlin, she already had been more than a little frustrated the last four months, not being able to see him. Of course, this hadn’t been the first time they were separated for so long, but this last training session sure felt torturously like forever. Seeing a bearded Ron, illuminated by lightning, looking highly dangerous, made her want to take Ron right up to Grimmauld Place, skipping the dinner Mrs. Weasley was hosting tonight, and just snog him senseless. Naturally this wasn’t possible, so here she was, trying to get her thoughts under control.

Hermione swore to herself to never talk to Harry again about Ron, drunk or otherwise.

 Just before Harry and Ron were leaving for Auror training, the three of them met up with the old D.A. members. While Ron still had been busy with one of Seamus’ famous drinking games, being the only one of the Trio to still keep up with it, Hermione confided in Harry that she wished for Ron to grow a beard.

“I love his stubble, but I’m sure he would look quite sexy with his beard a little longer.”, she had told Harry.

He looked at her funny for a second, before breaking out in a fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny?”, she asked angrily, since Harry seemed to be unable to stop.

After several minutes of Harry trying to control himself, and Hermione getting more and more annoyed, Harry was able to speak again. “You know, I just had that thought.”, he whispered, clearly still trying not to laugh. “Since you obviously have a thing for bearded men, I wonder how you could control yourself around Hagrid.” Another fit of laughter broke out, but it didn’t stop him from wheezing out “Or Dumbledore.” That was Harry’s undoing then, because after that, he couldn’t form a coherent sentence anymore, and already got himself a nasty side stich from all the laughing.

Needless to say, that Hermione ended this conversation right then and there.

Of course, Harry hadn’t forgotten about Hermione’s little confession, and decided to send her a tease right before she would see Ron again.

Would it be too obvious to pretend a stomach ache at this point?

As Hermione mused about the possibilities to sneak away with Ron, she stole another glance at him, only to discover that brilliant blue eyes stared right back at her. His eyes happened to have this certain glint, which always meant he was up to something. Hermione sincerely hoped it would include leaving early tonight.

After what seemed like forever, Ron finally beat Ginny in a mean game of Wizard’s Chess.

Although still being quite impatient to get home, Hermione put the time to good use in unashamedly ogling Ron, her former intends not to stare long forgotten.

“Finally, some decent competition again. I got bored out of my mind only playing against Harry and Elly the last four months”, Ron said while pulling Hermione onto his lap. He loosely slang an arm around her waist, and Hermione immediately leaned into him, feeling all warm and cosy as she started to trace his brain scars with her fingers. Merlin, she really missed him.

“I’m still better than Elly though”, Harry pointed out, helping Ginny to put the chess set away. “So, I guess Ginny and I call it a night then. Are you sure your bed is large enough for the both of us?”

“I admit that you got yourself some fine definition being away, but you didn’t exactly gain a ton of muscle, Harry. You’ll fit”, Ginny raised an eyebrow at him, which Harry answered with an eyeroll.

“Maybe that had been the polite way to say you got fat over the last couple of months.”, Ron offered Ginny another explanation, earning himself a blow to his shoulder.

“You better stop being cheeky, if you want Grimmauld Place to yourself tonight.”, his sister countered.

“Wait, what?”, Hermione asked Harry. “You’re not staying at Grimmauld Place?”

“Nope. Ginny and I are kipping at the Burrow tonight. The house is all yours, under the condition to have it to ourselves tomorrow.”, Harry clarified.

Hermione couldn’t hold back her grin as she looked up at Ron. These are fantastic news.

“That’s very…considerate of you, thank you.”, Hermione smiled at Ginny and Harry, which made Ron bark out a laugh.

“Yes, thank you Harry.”, the red-head said. “As you did this out of pure nobleness and chivalry, and certainly not because you lost to me tossing a coin.”

************

“So…after you won the house for us, what are your plans?”, Hermione murmured between kisses, her hands busy with Ron’s beard.

Ron gave her his trademark lopsided grin as he hoisted Hermione up in his arms, eliciting a surprised squeal from her.

“Well, what do you think about a long, nice bath for a start?”, Ron asked while carrying her up the flights towards the bathroom. “It had been an awful long time since we had one together.”

“True that. As long as it doesn’t make us too drowsy for some…night-time activities.”

“You know, it’s adorable that proper Ms. Granger still can’t say bad words.”, Ron laughed, kissing her reddening cheek.

“I can say bad words, you just wait.” Hermione tried to put up a glare, but failed due to the smile she just couldn’t put off her face.

“I’ll take you up on it.”, Ron said, sitting her down on the edge of the bathtub. With a flick of his wand he began to fill the tub with hot, soapy water, which gave the room a rich scent of pine needles and something delicious Hermione couldn’t quite place.

A few minutes later, she leaned against Ron’s chest, completely relaxed and ridiculously happy. Hermione enjoyed the vibration of his chest as they talked about Hermione’s last project at work and about Ron’s plans regarding the Auror department. Every now and then, Hermione reached up to stroke his beard, and if Ron noticed her sudden interest with his gin and cheeks, he didn’t say anything about it.

“Alright, enough about work. This is supposed to be romantic.”, Ron laughed, slightly tightening his grip around her middle. “Should’ve lit some candles.”

Hermione giggled as she wiggled out a little of Ron’s embrace to grab her wand, intending to light the chandelier behind them. Just as she freed her wand from the pile of clothes beside the bathtub though, something else fell out.

“Oi, that’s me!” Ron quickly snatched the picture up from the ground and settled back into his prior position in the bathtub. Hermione tried to hide her blush behind her hair, as Ron read Harry’s note on the back of the photo. Something between smugness and embarrassment appeared on his face, and the longer he looked at Hermione, the more it seems to become smugness.

“Do you like my beard, Hermione?”, Ron asked, his voice an octave deeper than usual, as he put his arms around her again, pulling her against his chest.

“I might have told Harry that a beard would look good on you.”, Hermione sighed, and forgot about her embarrassment, when Ron started to kiss the side of her neck. “And he obviously didn’t forget about it.”

Ron caressed her cheek to turn her head towards him. He gave her a long, heated kiss that left Hermione breathless, before retreating again, looking at her with a huge grin on his freckled face. Before Hermione could snog the smug grin away, Ron had to say one more thing.

“Well, feel free to enjoy it. All this Bearded Glory.”