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tsugarubecker · 3 years ago

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Rewatching Love, Victor season 2 and all I can think as I’m watching is that Benji is cooonstantly putting his own feelings aside and instead striving to put himself in Victor’s shoes and empathize with Victor. Victor, for his part, gladly takes that from Benji and then proceeds to fail to put himself in Benji’s shoes in return. (We’ll leave Benji’s issue with conflict avoidance/not stating what he wants aside for a second but we’ll get to that shortly.)

Long-ass post, prepare yourself :P

Example exchange: in ep 6 after Isabel is so nice to Rahim and Benji fails to be #stoked about it, Benji comes up to Victor at the coffee shop the next day and says something like hey, sorry I wasn’t supportive when you were so excited that your mom was being nice to Rahim. And Victor just goes thanks for saying so yeah she was really being nice to him and I think we made some real progress yesterday!

Like. Okay. rewind noises

Let’s do that whole exchange over again but in the way a healthy couple would, shall we?

Benji: Hey Victor. I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive yesterday when you were excited about your mom. I know you wanted me to be excited with you. Can I tell you a little bit about my own feelings around your mom?

Victor: of course you can.

Benji: Okay. To be honest, I feel really hurt when your mom gives me the cold shoulder. And that’s been something I’ve been dealing with for a while now. So, as much as I want to be supportive of you and excited for you when you see her seeming like she’s making some progress, it’s hard for me. Because it would hurt for me to get my hopes up that she’ll treat me better, only to be disappointed.

Victor: Damn. Wow. I’m so glad you told me how you feel about that. That makes a ton of sense. I would really like your support, because I love my mom and this whole thing with her is hard for me, but I understand now why it would be painful and complicated for you to get too excited. Now I get it. Thanks for telling me. I’ll keep that in mind when I bring it up to you from now on and we can navigate all of it together.

fast forward noises OOC cause I just wrote that as I thought about what I would say in a similar situation, but you get the idea.

Returning to Benji for a sec. I’m a cliiiiinically conflict avoidant person, and I recognize a lot of myself in Benji. He doesn’t want to take up space. He makes funny stories and jokes out of his trauma (strip club, crashing car into Wendys). He doesn’t stand up for himself even if he has a legitimate reason to be upset - he finds reasonable reasons to apologize for his part in the situation and tries to make amends. (Certainly not always a bad thing, just can definitely be a conflict avoidant thing.) I mean, we saw him behaving this way even in s1. Think about on their anniversary when Derek said “can we just go catch that show” and Benji said “you go ahead, I’ll catch up” instead of “hey, I know you don’t care about anniversaries but I do. This means a lot to me. I want to spend time together.”

So yeah, Benji has some serious issues with avoiding talking about his own feelings, standing up for himself, etc if it basically doesn’t “go with the flow” of what the other person is thinking or feeling. Conflict avoidant. He doesn’t want to rock the boat. I don’t know why, yet. I don’t think we as the audience know why at this point, but I hope the writers will get into it. Probably isn’t “because alcoholism” - rather, I think the alcoholism is another symptom of the same issue.

Victor, for his part (and I’ve touched on this in another post), probably has spent so much of his life being the fixer for his family that he kind of unconsciously latches on to people who will give him a break from that and take care of him (think Simon, for instance??? Lol). And he forgets that it’s not black or white, it’s not one or the other: care or be cared for. In a relationship it goes both ways. I really think he got this massive crush on Benji, put him on a pedestal, made him out to be perfect; almost saw him as kind of a savior. Someone who could come, sweep him up, and make everything okay. Fulfill all his fantasies. Victor doesn’t seem to see Benji as a real person yet. And he doesn’t seem to realize that he needs to proactively take care of Benji, not just let Benji keep taking care of him. That they need to meet each other halfway.

And speaking of avoidant people, Victor does seem to have a pattern with this behavior doesn’t he? Dates Mia -> not working out -> run to someone who is new and seems perfect. Dates Benji -> things are complicated and hard -> oh look a handsome boy who is wonderful in every way (runs to someone who is new and seems perfect) (and will fix all his problems). Boy needs to stop running off to the next person who’s gonna ��fix all his problems”. He needs to invest in his current partner. He needs to invest in being the one to care about his partner, being the one to put in the effort. Not just being the one to be cared for. He needs to stop waiting for someone to come sweep him up and fix all his problems. It’s not realistic, Victor. Get yer shit together & learn how to be a better bf. For reals. Smh

That went off on a little tangent lol, but honestly, at the end of the day, none of this is really even either of these guys’ faults - yes Victor puts Benji on a pedestal and is just beginning to see him as a real person with complexity and flaws, but to be fair Benji basically did the same thing: put Victor on a pedestal. “I broke up with him. I just want to be with someone where I can be myself and that’s enough. That’s how you make me feel, Victor.” = a really similar pattern to what we’ve seen Victor do. Relationship failing, abandon ship for the shiny, new, and better-seeming option. I’m not saying that that’s always the wrong choice. I don’t think that it is. But I am saying that both Benji and Victor are experiencing something very natural: having big crushes, letting infatuation and rose-tinted glasses go to their head, and then experiencing whiplash when their partner isn’t perfect. Honestly I think we’ve all been there to some extent.

At least in s3, now that they’ve seen some low times and their rose-tinted glasses are off, they should get a chance to create a deeper bond if they choose to do that (I feel confident that they eventually will). Benji needs to own his conflict avoidance and start advocating for his wants, needs, and feelings. Victor needs to recognize that although Benji seemed like a dream boy and is way more experienced yada yada, he’s not there to save or take care of Victor - he’s just a person, who also needs to be taken care of sometimes, and Victor needs to meet him halfway in their relationship and do that for him. They need to be able to exchange care as equals.

There I fixed their whole relationship you’re welcome afhffjhgfgjfgjg

(…….oh god I just realized how the writers are gonna have Victor figure out that sometimes he needs to take care of Benji too, and it’s totally gonna be bc Benji relapses with alcohol. Probably. Sounds like a TV-show move, doesn’t it?)

#not me wondering if I’m gonna write a fix it fic for this convo now #oh dang I……. I might just #or actually I think I’m gonna write another scene from s2 but from Benji’s perspective….. hmmm. someone hold me to this #also am I processing the things I’m learning in therapy through these fictional characters? you bet your ass #venji #victor salazar #benji campbell #love victor spoilers #love victor #lv spoiler #love victor season 2 spoilers #love victor season 2 #love victor analysis

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kaypeace21 · 4 years ago

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The theme with “time” this season makes me think of the phrase, “wanting to turn back the clock.” And I then think of Will never wanting to grow up and wanting to go back to the old days of playing dnd in Mike’s basement.

And then I think of Will’s (speculated) reality altering bending powers. So could there be a possibility that Will may use those powers to “turn back the clock”?? Maybe rewrite how things happened? Maybe it would be after Mike’s “death” like you speculated earlier. Since he thinks Mike is “dead” he wants to go back, and that’s what he does accidentally.

ALSO, Hopper tells joyce that he was trying to runaway from his "past" trauma with sara- before he says that line in the letter about wanting to turn back the clock and then saying it's not possible to do so . (And that life life hurts you but eventually you get out of that cave and life goes on ). Similar to Will he wants to turn back the clock to better times, but a part of him isn't ready to accept his entire past/ the tra*uma that comes with that- in order to move on and heal for the future .

Like robin said about back to the future "he's stuck in the past .But he needs to get back to his time which is the future!"

HOWEVER- I DON’T THINK THERE’S ANY REAL TIME TRAVEL!!!!

I’ve mentioned my time-theory many many many times- in relation to my DID theory. even if my did theory is completely wrong (aka Will has powers so his alters/split personalities/innerworlds come to life)-

We also see how memories are explored in a supernatural way in st - it’s not literal timetravel just El using her powers to explore tra*matic memories of others (Terry/Billy so far). Like NO TIME TRAVEL PLEASE-THAT’S JUMPING THE SHARK. I really don’t want it lol. XD I think hopper and Robin's lines allude to the theme that will be addressed: confronting the past/times that harmed you but overcoming it for the future because time goes on 'whether you like it or not '.

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In reference to my time-did theory. Look at the st s4 movie inspirations. In ‘what dreams may come” a guy explores a heaven like world influenced by a painter’s emotions/created via immagination.We also have the movie ‘inside out’ -which involves “memory islands” (distinct worlds based on a child’s memories) which are influenced negatively by the kid being depressed she moved to California. The characters traveling to these memory islands are constructs of kid’s mind -and 1 of them also has a guide helping them explore the ‘memory islands’. Welcome to marwen- has an artist (attacked for being perceived as gay) imagining an abstract world based off his art- where the characters he made experience their own adventures (loosely based off the artist’s trauma). ‘The cell ‘ has characters explore the mind of a guy whose father ab*sed him- and the different alternative fantasy-worlds they explore are based off his memories. The cop exploring these memory-worlds, was also implied to be se*ually ab*sed by his dad . Also,in Inception a guy says he’s a construct of a guy’s mind ( the guy who created the dream worlds that are like alternate dimensions/levels- also hates his dad). And leo’s character says he needs to help him escape the many different levels of the dream world of the mind. Movies like inception, total recall, the cell, enter the void, wizard of oz, Peter Pan, hellraiser 2, dream warriors, bill & ted’s bogus journey, the labyrinth,and welcome to marwen, all allude to this: because they involve entering simulated abstract worlds usually created/based on happy& traumatic memories/fears. While truman show/matrix are more about realizing your reality isn’t real. While in bladerunner 2044/total recall it has the theme of false implanted memories… probably relating to hopper/el realizing they’re alters of Will’s-and their memories were technically created by him.

Something some DiD suffers have are “innerworlds” .When someone has DID there can be multiple “innerworlds” that are separate from one another (and look very different from one another) .And are usually very abstract worlds that are based on the child’s memories (good &bad) . These worlds are usually created at different times and almost act like alternate dimensions (and the inhabitants -npcs/alters of those worlds usually don’t interact with one another) . So they can almost resemble alternate dimensions like how Scott Clarke mentions “Hugh Everett’s many worlds interpretation.” Russia where Hopper is- is probably one of those innerworlds.

HOPPER THEORY:

tw:ab*se/r*pe. In s2 Nancy asks Steve how his “grandpa’s time in the war is a metaphor for your life?” And steve compares the mf to the germans in the war. Dr owens mentions Will has ptsd like “ (vietnam) soldiers’, Hopper saying he had buddies like Will . “In the 70s there was a study that compared the post-traumatic stress symptoms in Vietnam veterans and adult survivors of childhood s**ual ab*se. The study revealed that childhood s**ual ab*se is traumatizing and can result in symptoms comparable to symptoms from war-related trauma.” Hopper isn’t actually in Russia -but in one of the innerworlds (after he jumped through the rift of the machine- into Will’s mind). We’ll see flashbacks but also present circumstances of his imprisonment echo Will’s past with Lonnie (if the movies indicate anything)- being starved, guards getting payed in order to let other prisoners r*pe a gay prisoner (than claim incorrectly because of his sexuality he wanted it) , as well as a gang of sadist men who r**e others and a warden using that as a threat to be compliant , being thrown in a dark room of solitary confinement and starved when they didn’t obey the warden, the warden being religious, etc. And the American soldiers (in Vietnam) in the movies aren’t much better and do similarly horrific acts to civilians like r**e and bragging/ happily k*lling women, children, and the elderly. The drill sergant in vietnam calling them homophobic slurs & women, and chocking one of the soldiers with one hand (like the mf/russian), slapping one for not believing in christianity. Tying up a soldier in a bed , gagging him, beating him and saying “remember it’s just a dream.” Only praising them when good in fire arms.(movies : fullmetal jacket, papillon, shawshank redemption, platoon, welcome to marwen, etc ) . My assumption is flashbacks of his life- hints about him being an alter -the boxes in the basement are “vietnam” ,“dad”, and “ny” (and these are the memories of his we’ll see).or after escaping the prison he’s stuck in diff innerworlds of memories. And some of the bad characters in said stories will also parallel Lonnie . Like how in the s4 film ‘peterpan’- the young girl Wendy imagines netherland and the villain -captain hook- is based off her father ( in the movie they have the same voice actors/while in all stage productions the 2 characters are always played by the same actor). Similar to the other s4 film- ‘wizard of oz’ where the wicked witch of the west from the mythical land of Oz (is played by Dorothy’s real life mean neighbor in the real world/kansas).Or in ‘the cell’- all the alternate dimensions of the dream world that were created by a guy with a ab*sive h*mophobic dad -had the same actor play the villain in each very different dream dimension. ”Not sure if they’d use Ross Patridge (actor of Lonnie) in this way . But it would be very interesting if (In makeup) Ross played many negative people in Hopper’s life.

Also, in s2, Jonathan mentions Indiana writer Vonnegut- In his book ‘slaughterhouse 5′- Vonnegut begins the story of Billy (William) Pilgrim, a man who has “come unstuck in time”. (time ref of Hopper saying he wants to ‘turn back the clock.’ or’ runaway from his memories.‘It accounts of Billy Pilgrim’s capture and incarceration by the Germans during the last years of World War II (Hopper captured by the russians), and scattered throughout the narrative are episodes from Billy’s life with his dad, and his own wife and kids.Billy is forced to be part of the war and similar things against his free will. The moments start from his childhood when his father throws him in the water to teach him how to swim. He was unwillingly drafted into the war. Later, he is kidnapped by Tralfamadorians (aliens that are implied to be caused by his mental health issues/trauma) against his will. Therefore, he realizes that this concept is just an illusion.in bladerunner 2044/total recall it has the theme of false implanted memories… probably relating to hopper realizing he’s an alter and his memories are technically ‘created’ . Like in total recall- the bad ass spy is told all his memories: his wife/ years of marriage, his name, are just implanted memories. And she says “you’re life is a dream.” We also have ‘Arrival’ -the parent’s daughter died young cause of terminal cancer- and the mother later realizes time is also just a abstract construct (a thing she can experience differently than others), but she still finds meaning/happiness in those memories/times.

I also talked about how sarah as an alter could come back and the 2 would explore the “innerworlds” of Will’s mind together (you can read the details there).

El and Will theory

I’m thinking of the s4 movies and 1 matrix scene comes to mind that could be an obvious hint to Did (and Will’s importance). Mr smith (the suited calm villain/ who is a literal computer program of the matrix world -cough alter/npc of Will’s) kidnaps/ ties up Morpheus to a chair (like Will in s2), injects him with drugs in the neck ( like s3 steve/ will’s arm in s2). Then Mr smith says as everyone leaves the room “I’m going to be honest with you. I hate this place, this prison, this reality or what you call it.” (grabs Morpheus’ head and glares) “ I need to get out of here! I need to be free! And this mind is the key.”(referring to morpheus).morpheus also translates to ‘god of dreams’. Also Morpheus was wearing head gear similar to El in s1/Will in s2 . or in 12 monkeys the guy sent to psych ward -starts believing he’s just “crazy” and says “i created a world with those people in it.” “It’s not real .I’m just mentally ill, like you said ” when you know- it is all real,cause of the supernatural angle involved. in 12 monkeys a patient even tells him the fictional world he created would dissappear once his mental health was in order.

Then there’s the El stuff. Hellraiser 2- has a normal psych hospital, but the basement floor has an evil psychiatrist experimenting on teens to open a portal to another reality. assasains creed/dream warriors - has the psychiatric facility be similar to the s1 lab with sensory deprivation tanks, cameras, solitary confinement in dark rooms.The doctor experiments on them- and forces a character to go into the memories of another individual (we know El has memory powers).The dr reveals how the character’s reality/whole life isn’t what they think it is (and that the memories they saw with their powers-was their past life and they are that person’s reincarnation) . Aka Will is the host- and El is an alter (alters can see memories of other alters/the host irl-aka billy/terry were also alters ).

In assasain’s creed there’s 2 psychiatrists- one bad / one who is good (but influenced by the bad dr). One dr annoyed at the lack of progress, says about the patient “he doesn’t want to remember his father.” While one dr doesn’t want to rush the therapy/ the other dr wants the patient to go back into his memories regardless of how it affects him. (which could be Brenner & maybe Owens referring to Will’s dissociative-amnesia and not remembering all the ab*se Lonnie did. And Owens not wanting to rush it/hurt el by making her go into said memories …but Brenner not caring.

also other hints : Cough s4 using the movie wizard of oz refs “we’re not in Hawkins (kansas) anymore”-hint at russia. David on instagram posting st stuff and captioning it with and quotes, pretending to be dorothy from the film. Hopper in s1 saying hawkins lab was “emerald city” (referencing El- it’s also why they reference El entering our world in ep 1 and the alice in wonderland song plays) . Murray says about the supernatural “no one wants to see behind the curtain” (what was behind the curtain in wizard of oz-was a wizard aka Will). Or you know right before Will sees the mf for the first time -a clock turns rapidly/ he has goosbumps at the back of his neck. Which he later grabs/states are from “memories” he can’t remember that are like a “dream”.

If i’m right-not sure how much of this may happen in s4 vs s5, though. But I think something like this is possible. For all we know-Will/El being trapped with Brenner while Hopper escapes ‘russia’ could be how the season ends? The timeline i’m a bit iffy about-tbh.

#stranger things theory #will byers #el hopper #jim hopper #time theory #did theory

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 4 years ago

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12.what headcanon will you keep implementing in your fics, even if canon ends up contradicting it?

Oh there are plenty that I keep on the back burner.

Membrane’s Grandparents were poor and/or farmers.

I know in the latest issue it showed scientist parents... But I like to think the smartest man in the world had a more humble upbringing and his Dad had a very strong work ethic.

The only thing I don’t really like about the Scientist parent idea that the comics showed really DOES mean that they KNEW what Uranium 238 was, knew that their son asked for it, and gave him a never-ending avalanche of socks for Christmas anyways and said it was from “Santa”

Like.... I assume so, Membrane...

Even then, When my parents personally did the Santa thing, Santa would give me the cool gifts, and then the lame gifts like socks were from the parents...

I can’t help but view the gift of a sock-avalanche from SCIENTIST PARENTS as nothing but an act of mal-intent, even if the issue doesn’t frame it that way.

There’s also the issue of Membrane inheriting Membrane Labs from his parents when their faces are nowhere to be seen if Membrane just took the reigns of an already established company... Sure, maybe his parents made their son the face of their company like some sort of Wendys situation... but Membrane’s ADULT face is what the face of Membrane labs is... Wouldn’t his parents use his cute child face for a brand? Even if the company had no branding or merch until Membrane took over the company it just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I MUCH PREFER the idea that Membrane built Membrane labs as a company from the ground up based entirely on tenacity, spite and his intelligence.

The idea that the smartest man in the world just was BORN INTO this lifestyle of science puts a VERY sour taste in my mouth..

ESPECIALLY with the other characters in Invader Zim and in Johnen Vasquez work in general. Characters like Zim and Dib always work hard to get to where they want to be... and I like the idea that Membrane is the RESULT of putting in that hard work, but he completely neglected himself on a social and interpersonal relationship level.

I’m sure the Scientist parents were meant as a joke to further compare to how Membrane and Dib are alike... and the generational cycle of abuse... and the mean-spirited joke of his parents gifting him socks does fit the IZ world... but I don’t like it.

If his parents were POOR or Farmers, or just didn’t have access to or couldn’t afford Uranium 238, THAT MAKES WAY MORE SENSE to me.

Then it would seem like his parents did it more as a

“He won’t ask for anything else.” or “Naughty children only get socks” thing

rather than a:

“Yeah, we know exactly what that is and have access to it... but our kid could blow his face off, so have a bunch of socks instead ya gremlin”

I just like to think Membrane’s childhood was fairly humble, and he was a feral scientist child and really bright and his parents didn’t know how to handle him, and He was an extreme Mama’s boy. Also the Poor upbringing would explain his workaholic tendencies without having the Scientist parents.

Sorry Eric Trueheart, you can pry “Poor upbringing” Membrane from my cold dead hands.

I will take those character designs and that Grandpa Membrane smoked a pipe though. Those are amazing.

Zim’s Computer (and all other irken Computers) AI Brains used to be living Irkens before getting culled.

I made an analysis about it on my old account, but I can’t find it cause Tumblr really screwed up the search engine on that account. But anyways... in two more chapters in Tech Support, we’ll get to find out Computer’s “tragic backstory” (tm) Like that chapter is coming after the current one I’m writing.

Irken blood is Pink

I don’t care if Dark Green blood makes sense from a biological standpoint... I just need Vaperwave and Cyberpunk auestetics. It’s more of a visual thing.

I think Dib has the potential to grow into a real caring young man if he’s properly nurtured and learns how to grow and I possess a strong dislike “loser” Adult Dib.

I’m sure you know what I mean... Crackhead Adult Dib, Feral Adult Dib, Miserable adult Dib...

Nothing against those Dibs... It’s been shown on the record that Dib having a miserable adult future is probably what Johnen wants for his character. (The doodles and streams I’ve seen Johnen draw of his characters as adults as drug addicts or just working dead-end jobs wasn’t enough)

I even like asshole kid Dib, and asshole teen Dib, but I really want to believe Dib will mellow out a lot when he gets older and learn how to be considerate.

Maybe I’m being too unrealistic, and I know there is a MAJOR market for Rat-man Miserable Dib in this fandom... I’ve seen like so many versions of him. But it’s not for me.

I think it’s partially because Dib is exactly how I was as a kid, and I grew up to be a pretty mellow and caring person. (for the most part)

I just want to see Dib to grow up to be chill and mostly happy.

Zim is the most defective Irken in the history of the Irken Empire. HOWEVER: By human standards, Zim is fairly average, just neurodivergent.

I know that I’ve seen some analysis on how Zim, “Almost works” and while I do agree, I still think that Zim is the most defective of his species.

He’s the only one who caused the Control Brains on Judgementia to go insane and he tends to be a pariah and a liability to everyone around him. Caused the death of two Almighty Tallest and a majority of other things that take place throughout the show, comics and deleted episodes alike. The Comics even mentioned that Zim is completely delusional and has some core memory issues.

(I’ve never even explained how Zim perceives the Judgementia arc in my au yet simply cause he doesn’t want to talk about or mention it yet... )

But a lot of Zim’s issues or “insane”-ness as the Irken empire sees it are fairly Normal issues for humans. Zim is just marked as the “most” defective simply because a lot of his “symptoms” are actually just very normal autistic or borderline/bipolar things. And that’s probably what he’d get diagnosed with by human standards.

Zim just feels things too strongly and has a terrible delusional memory and obsessively lies to himself to try to fit the mold of what a perfect irken soilder should be (in his mind)

I have a feeling some of Zim’s PAK errors can be things as simple as: “can’t sit still.” “first words: I love you” , “short attention span” “overly emotional” and that’s marked as major concern to the empire.

But there are more serious ones like “Corrupted Memory drive.” “destructive” “delusional” etc...

But a majority of the list of what makes Zim, Zim are VERY common autism traits...

so if you give him that human diagnosis and then just examine Zim under HUMAN standards....

He’s not that bad at all....

Irkens can purr, chitter, and make a variety of sounds very similar to ants chittering combined with a cat. But typically, only defective Irkens seem to make these noises, and my Zim makes more of these noises and reverts to more primitive irken behaviors when he feels he doesn’t need to keep up appearances to be “NORMAL” anymore. In Irken Standards or Human standards.

Zim is a weird Irken and sometimes things he does is not indicative to how other irkens act or behave, even though Dib uses it as a framework for a lot of his research, but a majority of it is just wrong because it’s Zim.

THE COMPUTER IS A CHARACTER TOO! LET HIM DO THINGS! EVEN IN THE BACKGROUND OR A SUPPORTING CAST MEMBER... PLEASE... (I will die on this hill)

GIR is smart and extremely perceptive. Also a hill I die on. I got into this fandom writing a thousand word essay on GIR and I still stand by all those points. GIR is smart... he’s just feral. And GIR can tend to notice things other characters don’t just cause his world-view is so simple. Zim and Dib think like one of those Pipe Windows screen savers... While GIR thinks in a straight line.

Zim would rather create a maze to go through to get the cheese, rather than GIR who would just not bother with the maze and eat the cheese.

GIR has great moments of clarity throughout the show, such as in Plauge of Babies and Walk of Doom

“Dib’s seen us before and he knows where we live”

“But if the big splody goes fast, won’t it get all bad?”

Anyways... I think that’s it... I probably have a whole lot more. But those are my main ones.

#Invader Zim #danachan's replies #danachan's asks #danachan's rants

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felassan · 4 years ago

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Dragon Age Library Edition Volume 1 annotations & additional pages/art compilation

Dragon Age Library Edition Volume 1 is a hardcover collection of some pre-existing Dragon Age comics that was released in 2014. It comprises of all issues of The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak and Until We Sleep. In places, it includes additional annotations/commentaries by the illustrators and authors, as well as a few additional pages with additional art. iirc these additional annotations and pages/art aren’t featured or available anywhere else (in the franchise I mean; other people have probably put them online at some point I’m sure).

From what I can see at least, Library Edition Volume 1 is no longer in print, and as such listings for it on resale sites etc are.. price-inflated & prohibitively expensive (~£100+, which I’m sure we can all agree is just not reasonable or accessible to most people). Due to this, I’ve compiled the additional annotations and pages here in this post. Thank you and credit to @artevalentinapaz, who kindly shared the material with me. This post has been made with their permission. The rest of this post is under a cut due to length.

These commentaries are in the context of The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak and Until We Sleep. If you notice any errors or annotations missing, or need anything clarified, just let me know. I think the annotations are in chronological order. In places I elaborated in square brackets to help explain which part of the comics an annotation is referring to. A note before you proceed further: some of the topics referenced in the annotations/additional pages are heavy or uncomfortable. The quotes here are word-for-word transcriptions of dev/creator commentaries, not my personal opinions or phrasings.

(Also, I do recommend always supporting comic creators by purchasing their comics legitimately. I own each issue of these comics having bought other editions of them all legitimately. The reason I put this post together is because this specific Library Edition volume has been discontinued and the consequently-inflated cost is so high, rendering the additional material inaccessible to most.)

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The Silent Grove annotations

Illustrator Chad Hardin: “I used to be an environmental artist for video games, so I built a 3-D model of Antiva City using the program Silo. Many of the buildings are simple cubes, but a few are more detailed. Overall, I spent the better part of a day building it, but I used it again and again throughout The Silent Grove to maintain continuity in the backgrounds.”

Script Writer Alexander Freed: “Even working with David Gaider, it took me several drafts to find Alistair’s voice. His narrative had to convey his humor and self-doubt from Dragon Age: Origins while suggesting a newfound weariness earned during his years on the throne. For readers familiar with the character, he needed to seem like a changed Alistair - but Alistair nonetheless.”

Chad Hardin: “If you read a lot of comics, you might wonder why the majority of the heroes wear skin-tight suits. Well, I can tell you: they are easy and quick to draw. In video games, you build the model once and then animate it, so details don’t slow you down. In comics, everything has to be rendered by hand. Varric and Alistair’s outfits were quite detailed. It took me a long time to get used to them, and even longer to memorize the designs until drawing them was second nature - Varric’s knee armor in particular! Oy vey!”

David Gaider: “One of my favorite scenes in the entire series [when Varric and Isabela are disarming traps and picking locks together while Alistair looks on]. Isabela and Varric, doing what rogues do. I had a suggestion for how to put it together, but Alex managed to make it fit and did a great job with it.”

Chad Hardin: “I never used to keep any of the artwork I created for comics. I would just hand the pages over to my agent to sell. This page [when Alistair, Varric and Isabela are in a tavern together, with hookah in the foreground] I kept for myself. I love the hookah-smoking elves in the second panel and Isabela’s face in the last panel. I rendered the first four chapters of The Silent Grove in grayscale using ink washes, gouache and Copie markers.”

David Gaider: “For a little while, Varric [in these comic stories] was supposed to be Zevran from Dragon Age: Origins, which would have made sense, Zevran being Antivan and all. I know that some fans would have loved to see him, but the dynamics of the group just didn’t work as well. Then a planned cameo later had to be cut for space. Ah well, Zev, another time.”

Alexander Freed: “Isabela at her most dangerous [climbing up the side of the cliff]. This scene - featuring a scantily clad, dripping-wet woman who tends to flaunt her sexuality - could easily have come across as exploitative, but Chad did a lovely drop portraying Isabela as purely focused and deadly.”

Chad Hardin: “Isabela rising out of the water and scaling the cliff with the knife in her mouth is one of my favorite parts of The Silent Grove. It is one of those moments where the writing really inspired the art. Hats off to Alex and David. This is another page I kept for myself.”

Colorist Michael Atiyeh: “This is one of my favorite Dragon Age pages. Chad is such an amazing artist; I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with him.”

Chad Hardin: “I love that this page [when a guard spots Varric and shouts ‘Intruder!’] made it in uncensored. So many times in comics, I draw something and some stuffy lawyers come out of the woodwork and tell me to tone it down. Dark Horse and BioWare always let me have fun, and this turned out to be one of my favorite pages with Varric and Bianca. Any guesses to which word he is mouthing in the second panel?”

Alexander Freed: “Note the simple decency of Alistair as he gives his cloak, without comment, to Isabela. For all his flaws, he’s genuinely kind at heart - a rare enough trait in Isabela’s world that I think it’s much of what she values in him.”

Chad Hardin: “I love the opening panel to this chapter [the opening panels to Chapter 3, when the team are on a ship at sea]. It’s the image I use on the homepage of my website. This page was a gift to my cousin Wendy, who loves pirates. Seascapes with sailing ships might be clichéd in fine art, but for me it was a first.”

David Gaider: “I wanted to have this story center on the group travelling to a Witch of the Wilds other than Flemeth, and originally I had set it somewhere else - until I remembered a Codex entry from Dragon: Age Origins that offhandedly mentioned a witch in the Tellari Swamps. Brilliant! It’d look like I planned it all along. I didn’t.”

Michael Atiyeh: “I love opportunities where I can show a change in the time of day as you move from panel to panel [when the ship heads towards and the team arrive in the Tellari Swamps]. I feel the palette of each panel is very distinct and beautiful.”

Alexander Freed: “Why did Alistair choose two people he barely knows to be his companions on this quest? We never make this explicit, but of course Varric is on the right track. Alistair wants to surround himself with people who don’t know him and won’t judge him, yet it’s Alistair’s idealism that Isabela and Varric work to preserve.”

Chad Hardin: “Another page where the writing inspired the art [when the group suddenly encounter a dragon]. I love the dragon bursting onto the scene and Isabela’s stare. Some writers will try to cram six or seven panels on a page like this and the pacing just doesn’t allow the artist to give each moment the right punch. Can you imagine if the first panel was crammed into a single square inch?”

Chad Hardin: “Yavana was one of the only characters that we did no preliminary sketches for. I don’t know how that happened, but thankfully it worked out.”

David Gaider: “I love how Yavana looks like a cross between Flemeth and Morrigan. Flemmigan? She’s totally Chad’s design, and it’s great. Typical for these witches, she never says things straight. In my mind, this Alistair is the one who did the Dark Ritual in Dragon Age: Origins - and I was half-tempted to have him lose his cool in this first scene [opening panels of Chapter 4] with her. Too early, though.”

Alexander Freed: “Through this whole sequence [the page when Varric aims Bianca at Yavana], Yavana is dropping cryptic hints and Alistair is refusing to play along. He’s met Flemeth and Morrigan - he knows Yavana won’t give him a straight answer, and he won’t give her the satisfaction of asking needlessly.”

Michael Atiyeh: “Sometimes it’s the little things on a page that spark my interest. Here [when the team navigate vines and mud to get to the temple], the sunset panel came out great and the mud looks really thick and gooey. It’s fun to focus on these details and make them stand out.”

Chad Hardin: “I hated drawing this scene [when Isabela gets kicked] where Isabela gets the boot to the face. Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to believe that only a coward would ever hit a woman (even a battle-hardened pirate adventurer). I draw at home, and my girls often watch me work in my studio. This was a page I didn’t want them watching me draw. I do like, though, that Isabela gets up, yanks the arrow out, and then soldiers on (and later extracts brutal revenge).”

Michael Atiyeh: “Poor Isabela. It seems I gave her more bruises and black eyes than any of the other characters. [when Isabela is yanking the arrow out]”

Chad Hardin: “It’s always interesting to go back and look at artwork because it reminds me of what was going on in my life at the time. I inked this page [opening panels of Chapter 5] at a ‘draw night’ session at an anime convention in St. George, Utah. I was one of the special guests, but I missed the first day because I was at my grandfather’s funeral in Las Vegas, Nevada. Seeing this page brought back those memories.”

David Gaider: “‘Bianca says hello.’ [quoting the panels being referenced] I adore Varric. I was tempted to have him narrate the entire series [in reference to these three comics], but then again I liked the idea of having each series center on one of the trio’s viewpoints. This book belongs to Alistair, but that doesn’t stop Varric from getting all the best lines.”

Alexander Freed: “Claudio, of course, is not a terribly sympathetic figure. But I wanted to emphasize that he takes this fight as personally as Isabela - he sincerely loved Luis and blames Isabela for the man’s death. I think it’s important to give every character, even the most loathsome, some dignity. [when Isabela and Claudio are fighting]”

Chad Hardin: “Payback! Here is where Isabela extracts her revenge on Claudio [when Isabela stabs Claudio]. I never enjoyed killing off a character so much. I particularly enjoyed putting the look of shock in his eyes. He had it coming. There is something satisfying about killing a ‘made man’.”

Chad Hardin: “Every now and then when drawing comics, I wish I could animate some panels and watch them as a cartoon. It would be great to see this sequence [when Yavana catches Claudio’s soul] in full motion as Yavana snatches Claudio’s soul, makes it reenter his corpse and then extracts information from him until he bursts into flame. It was a very Hellboy-ish moment. I enjoyed the movie that played in my mind while drawing this scene. Hope everyone liked the result.”

Chad Hardin: “As I mentioned on page 17, I rendered the first four chapters in grayscale, which made the black-and-white art look great, but had a neutralizing effect when it came to colors. By the time I drew chapter 4, I had seen the effect it was having and decided to stop using the grayscale so the colors would pop. When I saw this page [when Alistair says to Yavana ‘And we helped you find it’] in print, it confirmed to me that I made the right decision. I honestly feel this art was the best of The Silent Grove.”

Chad Hardin: “I practically painted these pages [when Yavana says ‘It is permitted. Tonight and only tonight’] in thumbnails hoping it would help me choose how to render them in ink. It is so hard trying to figure out how to get a full range of value out of just black and white. There are some artists and inkers that make this look easy. Mark Schultz comes to mind. Michael saved my bacon. Colorists really do so much work when it comes to rendering; this page came out awesome because of him.”

David Gaider: “Here we reveal the existence of Great Dragons (as opposed to High Dragons), and also that Yavana was the source of the return of dragons to Thedas after their departure for so many centuries. But why? There’s the rub, and not even Alistair can trust that she’s telling him the truth.”

David Gaider: “Here’s the controversial scene [Alistair killing Yavana]. I think some fans don’t like that Alistair did this, and have said they consider it out of character. I don’t. From his perspective, Flemeth and her daughters have been toying with the world for reasons that can’t be trusted. They dragged Maric away from his family, from him. One might think his judgement foolish, but considering what Alistair was capable of deciding even back in Dragon Age: Origins, it’s certainly not out of character.”

Chad Hardin: “[same scene as above] This was a controversial page, and there were a lot of people who thought it was out of character for Alistair to kill Yavana (I didn’t see it coming - I mean, you just don’t kill a Witch of the Wild), but here is the thing: this page is Alistair acting as a king. Yavana has been manipulating him, trying to play him like a pawn, and he just can’t allow that. There’s too much at stake, for himself and for his subjects.”

Alexander Freed: “The end? An end, at least [the trio walking off into the distance]. The series needed a note of closure while leading into Those Who Speak (which wouldn’t arrive until many months later). David tweaked the ending in the outline several times, and I did my best to balance resolving Alistair’s emotional journey without resolving the quest. It’s not as clean as I’d have liked, but fortunately, now it’s all in one volume...”

Those Who Speak annotations

Alexander Freed: “Capturing Isabela’s narrative voice was much easier for me than capturing Alistair’s - partly because I’d already written The Silent Grove, and partly because of my own writing proclivities. Rereading now, I wonder if I laid on the (mild) profanity a bit too thick. I’ll leave you to judge.”

David Gaider: “I like the additional detail Alex and Chad put in, letting us see more of Qarinus and more of Isabela’s crew. Alex wanted to give her crew more of a presence, and let her first mate have some face time, so they weren’t just parts of the scenery. Good call on his part.”

David Gaider: “I’m really fond of the formal getups Chad made for the party. Isabela’s actually comes from a concept we didn’t use from the cancelled Dragon Age 2 expansion, if I remember right. And Maevaris came from me asking for ‘someone who looks like Mae West’ - with the wonderful outfit all Chad’s doing.

Chad Hardin: “Maevaris. I love Mae. When David and Dragon Age art director Matthew Goldman spoke to me about designing Mae, they wanted her to be fully female with the exception of her biology. They told me to think ‘Mae West’. Well, when I think of Mae West, I think of her... womanly shape. So, drawing Maevaris was always walking a fine line between portraying Mae’s identity and her biology. The process endeared her to me.”

Michael Atiyeh: “Just like in The Silent Grove, we are introduced to another gentleman from Isabela’s past [when the team meet Lord Devon and Isabela threatens him]. As was the case with Claudio, he will meet his fate at her hands.”

Chad Hardin: “When I was drawing Titus, my kids asked me why I was drawing ‘angry Jesus’ or ‘evil Jesus’. I can’t remember which term they used exactly, but it made me chuckle. I was going for a mix of Rapustin and Joe Stalin, but ‘evil Jesus’ would do.”

David Gaider: “I’m not sure it’s apparent here [when Alistair says ‘I’d really rather not’], but Alistair was supposed to be using one of his Templar powers on Titus (that’s why Titus recognizes what he is on the next page) and disrupting his magic.”

Alexander Freed: “Isabela is witty and charming enough that it can be easy to forget that she’s not, in fact, a nice person. Even after finishing the outline, David was concerned about making her too unsympathetic - but I loved his approach in this series. The dark deeds Isabela commits - this murder included [Isabela killing Lord Devon] - are what make her guilt tangible and no easy matter to overcome.”

Alexander Freed: “I thought the notions of Isabela’s pride in her captaincy and dedication to her crew were some of the most interesting aspects of her character in David’s story. In scenes here [when Isabela is on her ship saying ‘Keep them focused and keep them sober’] and elsewhere, I did my best to emphasize their place at the core of Isabela’s world.”

Chad Hardin: “Most of the time I draw from imagination, but because of the complexity of this page [Qunari trying to board Isabela’s ship] I decided it would work better if I had photo reference. On this page are my nephews Jared (Varric) and Adam, my niece Melissa, my kids Erica, Tasey Michaela (Isabela) and Chad (Alistair), my friend’s daughter Amy, my wife Joy, and the neighborhood kids as Isabela’s pirate crew. (The crew member mooning the Qunari is out of my ol’ noodle.) I paid their modelling fee in pizza and root beer. Also, I had originally drawn cannons on Isabela’s ship, so if there are parts of it that look slightly wonky, chances are there was a cannon there.”

David Gaider: “Ever since the BioWare artists finally did a concept for female Qunari, I’ve been itching to include one in the game. It’s always slipped through my fingers, so I was going to be damned if I’d have a Qunari plot in a comic - without the same technical limitations - and not have one present.

Chad Hardin: “I had no idea this was the first time anyone outside of BioWare had seen a female Qunari.”

Michael Atiyeh: “I really like the lighting in this sequence [Isabela in her cell thinking ‘I haven’t eaten in days’], especially the strong white light and the characters in shadow.”

David Gaider: “The entire sequence of Rasaan interrogating Isabela was something I plotted out in detail when this series began. Here they discuss names - something treated in a manner peculiar to the Qunari, considering how much importance they apply to what things are called (and not called), because it forms the core of their identity. Isabela brushes it off, but as we find out later it’s also at the core of her identity. I liked that parallel.”

Alexander Freed: “To balance out the relatively static talking pages elsewhere in the issue, I hoped to make the interrogation and flashback sequences beautiful and full of information. I proposed an approach to Chad, and he wisely reshaped it into what you see here [the page with the scene where Isabela says ‘I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes’]. Anything that succeeds on these pages should be credited to him; anything that fails is my fault.”

Chad Hardin: “Probably the most challenging spread I have ever done. My friend Stacie Pitt was the model for Isabela on this page, and my wife Joy was Rasaan. I saved these pages [around the scene when Rasaan says ‘Mistakes can be corrected’] for myself.”

David Gaider: “Sten from Dragon Age: Origins becoming the new Arishok of the Qunari was something we'd planned even during Dragon Age 2. This was a great opportunity to show that, and also to show that Sten didn’t acquire horns even despite the makeover the Qunari received in DA2. Hornless Qunari are considered special, and Sten is no exception.”

Michael Atiyeh: “I think that David, Alex and Chad handled Isabela’s flashback [to when she was sold by her mother] in an interesting way, and it created a nice flow to the story.”

David Gaider: “This was a controversial scene [what happened to the slaves Isabela was transporting], the end result of a lot of discussions between me and Isabela’s original writer on the team, and it went through a lot of revisions over that time. It needed to fit with the story Isabela told the player in DA2, but fill in the blanks of what she didn’t tell. We didn’t want Isabela to be someone who became who she is because she was ‘broken’ but instead as a result of her own actions - yet also not be completely beyond redemption.”

Chad Hardin: “These were hard pages [as above] to draw. It was difficult knowing that events such as this are part of human history, such as the Zong massacre in 1781, where the British courts ordered the insurers to reimburse the crew of the Zong for financial losses caused by throwing slaves overboard when faced with a lack of water. Horrifying beyond words.”

Michael Atiyeh: “Here, Isabela visits here crew, and I wanted to play up that she was in the light and they were in a dark cell. The light streaming through the bars gave me the opportunity to highlight Brand, who also had dialogue in the scene.”

Alexander Freed: “I struggled to find a way for Varric to contribute to victory without distracting from Alistair and Sten’s big fight. I’m happy with the solution: a brazen lie seemed appropriate to the character without taking away from the main show.”

David Gaider: “I believe my original plan had Isabela’s and Alistair’s fight scenes happening separately, but I like how Alex intertwined them in the script and I especially like how this ends up highlighting the differences between their characters when their fights are resolved. Isabela is defiant, revealing her name not because Rasaan demands it but because it’s her choice. In both cases, mercy is strength.”

Michael Atiyeh: “The brush I created for the clouds really gave them a nice watercolor effect here [on the deck of the ship, Sten calling Alistair ‘kadan’]. That brush has become a staple in my toolbox.”

Alexander Freed: “With the strong theme of names running through these issues, I liked the notion that Isabela had outgrown being, well, ‘Isabela’. When her name comes up in Until We Sleep, it’s largely played with ambiguity.”

Until We Sleep annotations

Alexander Freed: “The story of ‘Arthur’ is one of my favorite minor sequences [Varric infiltrating and fighting his way into the fortress]. It tells us something about Varric and it delivers plot information - and it’s also a reminder that our heroes kill an awful lot of people during these series and cope with it in their own ways. In general, writing Varric let me skirt the edge of metacommentary, which I greatly enjoyed.”

David Gaider: “Varric, as always, is my ‘voice of the narrator’. Here he’s expressing some of my own amusement at Alistair’s growing list of peculiarities [‘Your majesty is quite the special snowflake’]. To think, back at the beginning of Dragon Age: Origins he was just the player’s goofy sidekick who grew up in a barn.”

Michael Atiyeh: “By the third series, Until We Sleep, I really started to have a complete feel for what I wanted the final art to look like. As an artist, it’s important to continue to evolve and grow. The close-up of Sten’s face [same page as above] is a perfect example of how I wanted the rendering on the characters to look.”

Alexander Freed: “David’s outline called for a short, somber reveal of the Calenhad story by Sten. Fueled by my desire to avoid ‘talking heads’ sequences, I scripted it as a full-on storytelling flashback. David made sure the history worked (at least from the Qunari point of view), and Chad did a beautiful job handling it in a mere two pages.”

David Gaider: “Blood is important in Dragon Age, as a theme. Here we tie in the dragon blood that was mentioned all the way back in The Silent Grove and explain what it means at last. I was a bit hesitant to tarnish the legend of Calenhad the Great in this way, but I comfort myself with the knowledge this tale is but a viewpoint and not necessarily the entire truth.”

Michael Atiyeh: “Titus melting the attacker is a great example of classic comicbook storytelling and exactly what made me fall in love with the medium.”

David Gaider: “I was really happy with how Chad handled the reveal of Mae as transgender [the scene with Mae in the cell]. My worry was that Varric finding her disrobed might be potentially titillating, but I think he handled it nicely. I only wish there was more time to have Mae properly respond to being exposed in this manner, even to a friend.”

Chad Hardin: “I originally drew Mae as female [same scene as above], then changed her anatomy, so the psychological violation and humiliation she felt would be the focus. Hope that came across.”

Chad Hardin: “When in doubt, have Bianca shoot it [Varric shooting the artifact].”

David Gaider: “This scene [Varric and Bianca the dwarf] with Varric was one I wanted to do for a very long time. We’ve hinted that Varric’s crossbow was named after a real person, someone he never wants to talk about. Now I finally had the chance to show why.”

Chad Hardin: “Of all my Dragon Age pages, this scene was hands down my favorite, because Varric is my favorite. It was awesome to get to draw Bianca in her dwarven form. These scenes give you a glimpse of the love Varric and Bianca shared. It doesn’t tell you the whole story, but you can assume plenty from what is shown. You get to see Varric mostly naked (you’re welcome), but most of all you witness Varric’s heartbreak. I felt privileged to draw it. I got so obsessed with drawing this page I did an entire watercolor painting based on the last panel [Varric gets up to leave, ‘This isn’t right’ - ? or perhaps the scene where he opens the door to leave].”

Alexander Freed: “Unreliable narrators are always tricky - done wrong, they can just confuse the reader. But I’m fairly happy with Varric’s lies throughout this series, most of which are used to downplay the emotional cost of events rather than whitewash the events themselves.”

Michael Atiyeh: “This palette worked perfectly [Varric standing in front of the doorway/portal in the Fade proper], but I can’t take all the credit because BioWare provided reference for the Fade. I added the hot orange energy for the doorway, which looks great with the sickly green sky.”

David Gaider: “This scene [Isabela’s Fade nightmare] was actually inspired by a fan named Allegra who did a cosplay as a Qunari version of Isabela. I knew I wanted something like this for Isabela’s Fade section of the comic, but it didn’t really solidify until I saw the cosplay.”

Chad Hardin: “Isabela is more affected by her encounter with Rasaan than we were led to believe. A portent of things to come?”

Michael Atiyeh: “I love this shot of Mae in the fourth panel [on the page where Isabela is affected by vines]. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention what a great character she is in the series, and Chad captures her beautifully in this shot.”

Alexander Freed: “I saw this issue as a sort of downbeat victory lap. Over the course of the previous series, our protagonists largely came to terms with the inner demons the Fade confronts them with here. The fact they’ve come so far lets them win this last battle... but they still have scars that will never completely disappear.”

David Gaider: “Maric was in the first two novels I wrote for Dragon Age. Seeing Chad’s rendering of him as a regal, grown-up version of Alistair made me incredibly nostalgic. Some characters you just never let go of.”

Alexander Freed: “I feel Varric’s lines (‘tell yourself the stories you need to tell’ but ‘never live your own lies’) are the natural endpoint of all the exchanges he’s had with Alistair, starting from the end of Chapter 1 of The Silent Grove. And of course it plays off the story of ‘Arthur’, as well.’’

Chad Hardin: “I’m happy with the way Titus came off in these pages [Titus attacking and saying ‘The last magisters of Tevinter were so close’]. He looks threatening and powerful when fighting Alistair, Isabela and Varric, but genuinely confused by his inability to defeat Maric. Bye-bye, evil Jesus.”

Alexander Freed: “I can’t help but feel for Titus. He was unthinkably corrupt, but I see him as genuinely motivated by Tevinter’s glory. (The fact Alistair reads zealous ideology as a lust for power says a lot about both characters.)”

Michael Atiyeh: “I love the seamless transition of color from Titus’ magic to the dragon breath and then back into the orange remnants of his magic in the smoke. This was a really fun panel to color [Titus saying ‘Die by what wrought you’].”

David Gaider: “‘You are not the dreamer here. I am.’ I always have a scene or a line that’s in my head when I begin a tale, and this line of Maric’s was one I wanted all the way back when I started working on The Silent Grove.”

Chad Hardin: “I love this page [Maric and Alistair clasping hands]; Mike’s colors are spot on. We get to see all our heroes in an ideal state for the last time. This is the last Dragon Age page I saved for myself.”

David Gaider: “This scene kills me [Alistair destroying the Magrallen]. I knew it needed to happen; I knew I wanted it to happen even back when I began the story. Alistair lets Maric remain in the Fade rather than dragging him back to a world which has moved on. Alistair’s ready to move on, but forcing him to give up that hope... it makes me feel like a bad person.”

Chad Hardin: “Heartbreak for Alistair as he realizes that once again, as a king, he must kill: this time, his own father (granted, the Magrallen did most of the work). I really like how Maric crumbles away in the end. This was my last page, and the emotions on the page and in my studio were very final. Altogether, this was a year of my life in the making. On my last page, I wrote a thank you to everyone involved, the crew at Dark Horse and the crew at BioWare. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them again. It was a thrill. Finally, a huge thank-you to the Dragon Age fan community, whose support was overwhelmingly awesome.”

Michael Atiyeh: “As the story came to an end, I knew I was going to miss these characters. Writing these annotations reinforces the fact that I hope to work with this great creative team again one day. Many thanks to Dark Horse and BioWare for the opportunity to work on Dragon Age.”

Alexander Freed: “The tension between the art and the narration on this page [the one with Alistair sitting on his throne while nobles argue] is something you can only pull off in comics. Neither tells the full, bittersweet story alone. Similarly, these issues wouldn’t have been possible without everyone on the team; thanks to David, Chad, Michael, and everyone I lack space to list!”

Additional pages / art

Library Edition Volume 1 also came with some additional pages, with additional art and commentary. These are as follows (I’m including them for the sake of completion, click the links to see):

1. Alistair and dragon concepts

2. Rasaan and Maevaris concepts

3. Sten, Titus and Yavana concepts

4. A series of cover pages 1

5. A series of cover pages 2

In case anyone has trouble reading the notes that accompany these images, I’ve transcribed them below:

1. Dragon Age Sketch Book

Alistair Concept

Dragon Age / Dark Horse

Chad Hardin: “The headshot of Alistair is from a finished sketch with a rejected armor design. In order to save time, the redrawing was completed on the computer, where tweaks and changes are quick and easy, if somewhat less glorious.”

[Dragon] Head #1 / Head #2

Chad Hardin: “Everyone liked this dragon sketch so much that Dark Horse printed it for signings at conventions. You can see I did multiple proposals for the dragon’s head. It was more effective than drawing the body over and over.”

2. [arrow pointing to Mae’s sleeve] concealed [I think that’s what it says anyway] daggers / shurikens?

Chad Hardin: “When designing Rasaan and Maevaris, I wasn’t exactly sure how their roles would play out in the series. Maevaris’ outfit was inspired by brothel madams of the Wild West. I thought it would be cool to have some weapons concealed in the formal wear. These never came into play in the series, but they were there in my mind.”

3. Chad Hardin: “Although we only see Titus in his battle garb in one issue, I really liked the design of his armor. The sketch of Yavana was done on the fly and served as both a rough preliminary sketch and as a panel layout. You have to work hard and smart in comics to keep up with the deadlines.”

4. Cover Artist Anthony Palumbo: “This was my first assignment for Dark Horse, and I was both excited and nervous. I drew pencil sketches of the main characters, scanned them and played with different arrangements, poses and color schemes in Photoshop.”

5. Anthony Palumbo: “Fellow illustrator Winona Nelson helped me by sitting for photo reference. I created the mock-jewelry with gold-painted Sculpey. That’s a quick photo of my own gaping maw, to help with the image of Varric.”

#dragon age #bioware #video games #artevalentinapaz #alistair theirin #fav warden #morrigan #queen of my heart #long post #longpost

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jadoue1999 · 4 years ago

Text

Wanda and the life she deserved (she’ll make sure about it) Epilogue

Summary: thank you for everyone for reading this story! Remember to read the end notes for the surprise I was talking about!

Previous parts: chapter 1, chapter 2 , chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, Epilogue

Chapter 12: Epilogue

And that was it. Everyone she cared about was gone. She stood in the foundation of her house; her grief so strong it made her numb. She pulled up the hood of her vest desperately wanting to be left alone. Monica soon joined her side.

“You did it,” she remarked, “you actually did it.”

Wanda didn’t answer, she just pressed her lips together and nodded in agreement. She had seen many movies and shows portraying people fixing their mistakes as a good thing, something that made them feel better. She couldn’t relate. She simply felt like disappearing into the unknown and never being seen again.

“You know, I don’t think I would have had the strength to do it, had it been me,” confessed Monica. “I would have done anything to get my mother back, I can only imagine what you’re going through.” The woman gently put her hand on Wanda’s shoulder, making sure to be slow enough so she wouldn’t intrude her personal space. When no protests came, she squeezed lightly. “I’m here for you if you need me.”

As they reached the town square, Wanda did her best to ignore the hateful glare of the citizens she had tortured over the last week. She wished she could tell them she didn’t know, but she was sure no apologies would be enough. Lost in her self-deprecating thoughts, she was surprised when Monica spoke once again. “So, who was the guy who played your brother? We never could identify him. Yet I can see that his family found him.”

Wanda didn’t answer as she looked up at the X-Men. Her brother was deep in conversation, probably telling them about his time in the town. She quickly changed outfits, feeling more comfortable in her newest costume. The Scarlet Witch, as Agatha called her; she liked the name. She was about to fly away when Peter suddenly appeared at her side.

“Wanda, don’t go.”

She froze in place; he didn’t seem mad at her, but she didn’t want to push her luck. Hatred came in many forms. Since she wasn’t talking, Monica spoke up.

“Hi again, I don’t know if you remember, we escaped the witch’s house together?”

Peter chuckled and nodded. “I do, that was wild.”

Wanda could feel Monica’s question, and the hesitation that came with it. “I know I’ve asked you before, but who are you?”

The silver haired man looked at the redhead, silently asking for permission. She couldn’t figure out why he’d even care about her opinion, but she nodded, nonetheless.

“I’m Peter Maximoff, I’m from a different universe.”

That certainly took the S.W.O.R.D. agent by surprise, she looked at both of them, wondering if it was a joke. She had many more questions, but she felt that the Maximoffs needed to talk. With a nod, she walked away to join an Asian man. Probably a friend of hers. That left Wanda and Peter alone, both wondering how to start the conversation.

“So,” started Peter, scratching the back of his neck. “Thanks for releasing me.”

Wanda scrunched her face in shame, why had she even thought it was a good idea? “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted my brother back and you already wanted to leave, and I just couldn’t-“

“Hey, it’s alright. I mean, obviously it wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as bad as witchy over there,” he said, pointing at Agnes who was seemingly flirting with police officers. “You wanted me there, so I wasn’t really controlled, I was just sure I was Pietro Maximoff.”

Running a hand through her hair and taking a deep breath to shake away her teary eyes, she finally looked at him in the eyes. “So, you’re not... mad?”

Peter blinked and cleared his throat, “Well, obviously I’m not pleased, but I think I would have done the same thing, had I been given a chance to see Wendy again.”

They walked over to a secluded bench that somehow hadn’t been destroyed by the battle. Wanda kept fidgeting with her fingers, the occasional glares of people mixed with the grief and guilt she felt made an interesting combination of emotions. Peter pulled her into a hug, and she held on for dear life, not wanting to be alone again. “I like the outfit by the way,” whispered Peter in her ear. “Might not believe me but it’s very similar to my dad’s. Irony of the multiverse I guess.”

She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips, he soon laughed too, and let go of her. He looked around the town, taking in the situation.

“You know, it might not have been real, but our little life was good,” commented Peter. He looked at his team, “I didn’t have any superhero duty to think about or daddy issues to deal with. It was simple.”

Wanda looked at him, not sure if he was being serious, when she realized he was, she simply nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I wanted this. I’ve never had a shot at a normal life, not since I was 10 years old.”

Peter smirked in agreement, looking a little lost in thought for a moment. “Yeah, I remember, your life wasn’t easy, uh?”

The redhead suddenly widened her eyes, realizing the weight of his statement, “oh, I’m so sorry, I can remove his memories from your head if you want.” She tried to put her hands on his temple, but he shook his head.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ve had enough people messing in my mind for a century. Plus, I’m not really sure where my memories end and his starts.”

Wanda was left feeling even more guilty, how did she even think that it was a good idea to keep him? She looked at the ground once again, why could she never do things right?

“So... where will you go?” Asked Peter. “Cause I know how this usually goes, you leave in a remote place, isolate yourself and either build a new life or you get even worse than what your current low point is.” Wanda looked at him, raising an eyebrow. He chuckled as he raised his hands in front of him, “hey, you might be from another universe, but my dad basically did the same thing.”

She thought about her options, she had considered isolating herself, she had Agatha’s book after all, she wanted to study it. Before Peter stopped her from leaving, she truly wanted to be left alone. Knowing he didn’t hate her changed things. She wanted him by her side, willingly this time. After a minute or two of waiting, he spoke up, scratching his nose anxiously. “You... you could come with us, if you want.”

She turned her head towards him, eyes wide at the proposition. He gently took her hand and got to his feet. “From what I gathered here; you’re sort of a wanted person? No one knows you in my universe. Plus, powers like yours aren’t unheard of, you’d fit right in!”

He didn’t let her respond as he dragged her to his team. Anxiety was building up in her stomach, how would they react? She had, after all, kidnapped one of their members, even if accidentally. After a quick discussion with the bald man, the professor as he called himself, it was settled that she’d leave with them. The two blue people were polite, but obviously still suspicious of her. Peter’s father was, well, pissed to say the least. He didn’t talk to her and barely acknowledged her when she told them she’d create a portal to get them in their universe. She wasn’t sure how she had already mastered universe hopping, but she assumed it had to do with the scarlet witch thing Agatha had mentioned. After saying goodbye to Monica, who seemed glad Wanda had found people like her, they were off. Portal jumping wasn’t a pleasant experience, but it didn’t feel as bad as the first time she experienced her brother’s superspeed. The first thing she noticed upon arrival was the giant mansion, followed by the dozens of children freely expressing their gift.

That nearly made her breakdown right there.

She adjusted quickly, even made friend with a girl possessing similar powers named Jean Grey. It took a while for Mystique and Nightcrawler to fully trust her, but they eventually did. Erik still blamed her, but he had stopped glaring at her every time she came into a room. She had also learned to astral project herself, giving her more time to study the spell book. It had given her insight she never thought existed.

She had grown closer with Peter, who had confessed one day that his birth name truly was Pietro. They had both lost a twin and while they were both aware that it wasn’t the same; dealing with it together had helped them. Also, being the only people who truly knew Vision and the twins, they felt it was only right to grieve them together as well. Both had had their moments where they tried to talk to them, waiting for an answer, only to realize that they were speaking to shadows. It hadn’t really gotten better; Peter missed his nephews and Wanda missed her family.

Sometimes, when the mansion became too much, she preferred to keep herself in her room. In those time, she usually used it to study the Darkhold and it’s secret. That’s what she was doing, in the middle of the night, when voices pierced her concentration.

“Mom!” Screamed Billy. She gasped as she heard her son in her head. It was Tommy’s voice who followed, “mom, help us!”

Her eyes widened in shock. Her children were alive, they were somewhere. She snapped out of her trance, her mind returning to her body that was laying in her bed. She ran out of her room to join Peter who was listening to music on his Walkman. He looked at her, questions in his eyes, she smiled at him.

“Tommy and Billy, I hear them.”

In a blur, he was in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, hope gleaming in his eyes. “Really?”

Wanda nodded, barely able to contain her excitement, “really.”

In less than five seconds, Peter had packed a bag and was holding it at his side. He offered his hand to Wanda, who gladly took it. He grinned, “let’s go get the rugrats.”

***

Notes: so it’s done! I hope you guys liked it!

As for the surprise, both my father and girlfriend wanted to know more about how the X-men got to Westview so I wrote another fic of their point of view! I’m nearly finished writing it, and it should be about 30k words. Each chapter being approximately 3k words. Now, question is, when and how often should I publish it? I had thought about publishing it every Sunday, unless there’s a day where it’s easier for you guys to read.

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flooffybits · 4 years ago

Text

No, No

Idol: Kang Seulgi (Red Velvet)

Request: Yes

Anon: hi!! may i request a seulgixfemreader wherein she’s soft with everybody else but when it comes to her bestfriend showing more attention to someone else or maybe gets flirted on by someone else, she gets jealous and protective until s/o confronts her? or just along those line, please hihi. bestfriends to lovers!! i hope u know that a lot of people appreciate your writing!! thank u always

Seulgi was known for being the adorable and charismatic dancer of Red Velvet. She was funny when she didn’t mean to and very clumsy. These were things that weren’t new to you because even when you were younger, she always seemed to trip over her own feet or knock over the books or even papers that were neatly placed by her.

You were always there to make sure she was fine and to help her clean up the mess she would create. When she would get scolded for her clumsiness, you always made some excuse and made sure that she wouldn’t be the only one punished and she always admired you for that.

Being childhood friends, it wasn’t a surprise when she introduced you to her members, excitedly telling them that you were her best friend since you were kids and gushing about all the things your did together. Her members could practically see the heart in her eyes whenever she spoke about you or when you were around and it was just so funny how oblivious you were to her feelings because of her naturally affectionate personality.

You often found her clinging to her friends or even playing around with them, so for her to do the same with you was no different, more so since it’s been the norm for you both.

She refuses to tell you about her crush, no matter how many times her friends tell her to go for it.

“Come on, it’s not that hard to admit.” Sooyoung told her once and Seulgi looked absolutely scandalized at the idea of confessing. “No!” She yelled in the little high pitched tone she would use when something wrong happened. “Why? I’m pretty sure she likes you, too.” Yerim stated with a confused look and the bear felt her cheeks flush before shaking her head. “Y/n is my best friend, she won’t see me as anything but that.” She explained confidently despite the sting her own words gave her.

“You won’t know unless you try though.” Seungwan told her fellow ‘94 liner. “Even if she doesn’t, there’s no harm in trying. You and Y/n have been best friends ever since you were kids. I don’t think she would stop being your friend just because you like her.” Joohyun, ever the wise one, explained when she looked at her friend.

The girls adored you because you were just as kindhearted as Seulgi. The only difference was that you were less clumsy and calmer compared to your best friend. But it didn’t make you less charming.

“Irene is right. You’ve spent basically the rest of your lives together. Just because you’re in love with her won’t ruin that.” Seungwan grinned encouragingly, making Seulgi’s blush worsen before she hide her face to her hands.

They were trying to convince her into confessing again, and she does appreciate the encouragement, but she just couldn’t risk losing you like that. Tonight, you would be staying at their dorm to watch a movie with them and also because Seungwan was very excited to teach you some of the things she’s learned to make in the kitchen.

“Unnie, unnie! The pizza is here!” Seulgi called out when she got back, carrying the boxes and then setting them down on the table where the rest of the food was prepared. “Alright, just make sure to leave space for the popcorn.” Joohyun replied when she began to fix the cups on the counter.

After placing the pizza on the table and grabbing the plates for whoever may need them, Seulgi hopped on the couch where Sooyoung and Yerim were already waiting, throwing her feet on the tallest’s lap and then clinging to her arm. “What are you doing?” She asked as she got comfortable on the couch.

“I’m asking Y/n unnie to buy ice cream.” She answered simply, making the dancer blink. “She texted you?” She asked curiously and Sooyoung glanced at her before a smirk spread across her face when an idea came to mind. “Yeah! Ever since Y/n unnie’s last visit, we’ve been texting a lot.” She explained while she felt the bear tensing up beside her.

Yerim caught the mischievous look on her fellow prankster’s face, she couldn’t help but laugh before she draped her arm over Seulgi’s shoulders. “Joy is always talking to Y/n unnie. You should tell her to stop because it’s annoying when she starts giggling like a maniac on her own when it’s late.” Seulgi’s attention snapped toward her and she looked alarmed, making the two mentally pat themselves on the back.

By the time you arrive, Sooyoung answers the door because Seulgi is too busy watching something on her phone while she was snuggled up to Joohyun. “Y/n! What took you so long?” Seungwan greeted you with a friendly hug and then helped you out of your coat.

You lifted the plastic bag you were holding and point towards the two little devils. “They asked me to buy some ice cream on the way. I had to go back because I passed by the convenience store already.” You explain, waving towards Joohyun and your best friend.

Seeing her cuddled up to the leader made you laugh and shake your head while you followed the Canadian into the kitchen to place the frozen treat inside the freezer. “You didn’t have to do that. We have enough food here.” Your friend tells you, but you’re already shrugging while showing her a lopsided grin. “It’s fine. I haven’t been around as much, so I don’t mind.”

Going back into the living room, you caught sight of your best friend playfully wrestling with Yerim while her phone was resting on the floor beside them. They were laughing while Sooyoung was happily recording them, cackling as she even poked the pair with a pillow that was close to her. Joohyun was just shaking her head as she watched the mess unfold before her, having already gotten used to her members’ antics.

Taking a seat, you waited for the three to finish by turning to the leader, who smiled at you. “How have things been with you? We haven’t seen you in a while.” She asked when you accepted the blanket she offered. “Things are going alright. I’ve been planning on getting a bigger apartment for myself since my pets aren’t too fond of the little space we have. Plus, there are somw things that I need to get rid of because it’s just eating up space.” You tell her. “Do you need any help?” Seungwan decided to join in on the conversation, sliding next to the leader while she grabbed some popcorn.

“That would be nice. If there are places you could recommend, that’ll be a big help.” You huff and run your fingers through your hair. “If you want, I can accompany you with looking. There hasn’t been much going on for us, so it’d be fun to go house hunting with you.” Seungwan grinned widely while Joohyun agreed. “I can come, too. Just be sure to text us whenever.”

Unaware to the three of you, the other three were already calmed down from their little match and Seulgi happened to hear parts of your conversation, making her pout while watching as you continued to converse with her members.

“Where are you going?” She couldn’t help but blurt out the question and Sooyoung watched amusedly with Yerim grinning beside her.

You turn to her and smile lightly, making her heart race as she stared at your face. “Wendy and Irene were just offering to accompany with looking for a new apartment.” You tell her and Sooyoung perks up. “Oh? You’re moving?” She asks and you nod your head. “I wanna come, too. I’m sure you’re going to need someone to keep you occupied.” She smirked, making Seulgi shove her back against the couch and then sat down next to you.

Her arms wrap around you while she glares ar the giggling girl. “I can keep Y/n company.” She states firmly that Yerim ends up bursting into another fit of giggles while Joohyun sighed.

“Let’s watch the movie, alright?”

Halfway through the movie, the snacks were almost gone and the pizza only had a few slices left in the box since you were all eating before the movie was picked. Joyri were protesting on the Joohyun’s movie choice so it took you all another ten minutes to figure out which movie to watch.

Seulgi had gotten comfortable next to you, her legs entwined with your while her arms rested around your waist. Her head was nestled in the crook of your neck as you had your arms around her, keeping the blanket secure around the two of you while the movie progressed.

The members would steal glances at the two of you and smiled. When Seulgi met Joohyun’s eyes some time during the movie, the older girl was raising a brow at her and she quickly had to avert her gaze, pouting, because she knew what they were hoping for.

She just doesn’t think she’s quite ready for that.

“What’s got you so pouty?” She heard your quiet voice ask and she lifted her head to look up at you. “Nothing.” She muttered, the pout still refusing to leave, making you giggle quietly, not wanting to disrupt the others as you shifted so that you were facing each other. “Really?” She nodded her head, thanking the darkened room, because she was sure you would be able to see her red face with how close you were to her face.

Shyly, she buried her face to your chest, not giving you a chance to ask further as she forced her eyes on the screen. You wanted to say something, but thought otherwise and simply gave her a kiss at the top of her head before continuing the movie.

“Y/n is coming to watch! Y/n’s going to watch!” Seulgi cheered when she burst into the dressing room, making some of the staff flinch by her sudden arrival and Joohyun laughed while she was getting her makeup done. “Are you sure you aren’t dating?” She asked playfully. “You’re acting like she’s your girlfriend.” Yerim quipped with a devilish smirk. “Are you?”

Quickly noting the teasing tone, the poor bear huffed and went beside Seungwan, hugging her with a pout on her face. “No. But do I have to be dating her to be excited?” She whined, making her best friend giggle as she patted her head. “It’s fine. You’re best friends, so I think it’s valid enough reason.” She tells her while Sooyoung booed. “You’re no fun!”

While they were preparing to get ready, you soon arrived at the venue and a staff let you in once you told them your name. Red Velvet’s manager quickly noticed you and smiled before leading you to the girls, though along the way, you bumped into Sunmi when she exited her own dressing room.

“Oh! Hello, Y/n. You’re here to watch the show?” She asked happily and you grinned back while nodding your head as she gave you a hug. “Seulgi invited me, and I didn’t want to miss out.” You tell her, making the older woman smile and nod her head. “You two are so cute. I wish I had someone like that.”

You only really knew Sunmi because of the many times Seulgi invited you to join her in numerous practices and award shows. She introduced you when she had the special stage with her and Sunmi was more than happy to finally out a face to the name that Seulgi would not stop singing praises.

You were so caught up in conversation that you didn’t realize that you were already in front of the girls’ dressing room. Sunmi knocked on the door after a while and Sooyoung opened it, greeting the two of you with a bright smile. “Oh, unnie! What are you doing here?” She asked the soloist and Sunmi giggled before she’s patting your arm. “Well, I found this one right outside my room when I was going to get some water.”

“Y/n unnie, you should have told me that you got here. I would have come to get you.” Sooyoung scolded you and you grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. I thought you were busy getting ready.” You answer and Sunmi smiles before excusing herself. “I would love to stay and chat some more, but I have to get going.” Giving one last hug to you, she waves before heading off and Sooyoung pulls you into the room.

At the sound of your voice, Seulgi’s head quickly snaps up from Seungwan’s shoulder and her lips purse together when she sees her younger member clinging to you. She knows that Sooyoung does it to annoy her, but she couldn’t help but frown before springing to her feet, missing the way Seungwan was laughing as she marched over and lightly shoved the taller girl off of you just so she could wrap her own arms around you in a protective manner.

“Yah, why are you with Joy?” She complained childishly and you looked at her in confusion. “She pulled me into the room, Seulgi. And you looked busy.” You tell her, making her whine as she pulled you closer. “But I invited you and I’m your best friend, not Joy.”

Hearing her made the three younger girls burst into laughter while Joohyun shook her head in amusement at how possessive her friend was being. Plus the absolute confusion on your face made it all the more comedic.

Furrowing your brows, you glanced back to the rest of your friends before staring at the whining baby that was clinging to you like a koala. “Is there something you wanna tell me?” Sensing that this was going to be a serious talk, Joohyun signaled the other three to exit the room as Seulgi flinched and then hesitantly pulled her arms away from you.

You were both grateful for her members in giving the two of you some privacy to talk.

You were looking at Seulgi with an expectant gaze and she shuffled in front of you. “So… mind telling me why you’ve been so pushy with the girls?” You ask her in a calm tone and the dancer bit her lip before she started playing with the hem of her shirt, the pout back on her face before she muttered something you didn’t quite hear.

“Seul, you need to be a bit louder.” You tell her and she shuts her eyes tight before steeling her nerves and then exhaling as she met your eyes once more. “I don’t like it when Joy flirts with you or when the other members get too close because I don’t want you to fall for any of them.” She finally said, watching as your face suddenly shifted, but she continued before you could think of anything else.

“I’m in love with you. I have been for a while now, but I just never had the courage to say it because I was scared of ruining our friendship.” She said in a hushed tone and your eyes softened as you saw just how small, how vulnerable your best friend looked while she bared her heart out to you.

Carefully, you took her chin before lightly lifting it up when she ducked her head. With a small smile, you pulled her closer to press a light kiss against her lips and she had to do a double take to realize that this wasn’t just another dream.

“I was wondering if you were ever going to say something.” You giggled while cupping her cheek. “Honestly, I was so confused if you liked me back or not.” You admit and a big smile comes to her face, her eyes disappearing into crescents while she tackles you into a tight hug. “You’re not joking? This is really happening?” She asked against your shoulder and you smile while hugging her tighter.

“I love you, too.” You whispered and that was all the confirmation that she really needed to believe that she didn’t have to worry about you falling for anyone else.

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #red velvet #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #red velvet seulgi #kang seulgi #seulgi #seulgi scenarios #seulgi imagines

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wallyaxiom · 4 years ago

Photo

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴: 𝙵𝙰𝚅𝙾𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝚂

hey besties it’s me coming to do the waltmeme thing. I couldn’t just pick one character to call my favorite. it also felt unfair to do that as well when there’s so many amazing characters here. so grab a snack, put on your favorite tangled song in my honor and buckle up as i go through the list of my fave characters here at walt each person plays. present gen only. sorry to my next gen faves. maybe one day i’ll write a list for you. or not. i’ll keep you on your toes.

𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕣𝕒 𝕛𝕒𝕘𝕖𝕣

cassandra is a character i love so much. tangled is a movie that means everything to me. kiara is the person who understands my tangled feels. the way you play cassandra...like how you said i have a grasp on reagan, you have such a perfect grasp on who cassandra is as a character. her voice is so clear. you understand who the character is and have transformed her into something more than what was given in the bio i wrote and also in the show that’s used for inspo. she’s a spectacular character and i love her so much. it’s an honor to be one half of elssandra but also cassunzel. she’s such an amazing character. you should be so proud of what you’ve brought to life, kiara.

𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕔𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕖𝕟

listen i told you every day how much i love monty. i literally scream it to you in your living room sometimes. i’ve seen every iteration of monty but i think this one is my favorite. i didn’t even know lightning’s real name was montgomery that was all you. so much of yourself is in monty. it reminds me of myself with wally and i think that’s the biggest reason why i love monty is because he’s bits and pieces of you and i love you very much. as much as i love cocky era lightning i love dad lightning even more. i wish i had a dad like him i’m not gonna lie but we’re not gonna unpack that on the man lmfao. i’m glad i’m more enveloped in his story now because he’s such a good character dude. like such a good written and played character. he’s second in my heart to sulley but is inching closer to number one by the day.

𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕠 𝕓𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕚

fran !!! my bestie !!! my fave !!! i would die for them !!! like bee, i love talking to you about fran and all the tomfoolery they get into. you’ve played them for so long and each time you transform them into something better than the last. they age like a fine wine. in the past almost two years i’ve been able to be part of their story more & i’m so happy for that opportunity. you’ve put so much love, care and devotion into fran. you’ve added so much to their story. like they’re so fleshed out, how does your beautiful brain come up with all this backstory ??? lemme know i need some of those brain cells. they’re amazing. you’re amazing. i want fran to buy me and island and make me pasta but i’ll just them do that for caspian the favorite child.

𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕓𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕨

hands down i had to put orion my future father in law. i’ve had the honor of watching you develop orion into something incredible over these past six years. ( holy cow !!! six ??? insane. ily ). he was a big bad, misunderstood boy and you’ve humanized orion. you’ve brought life into him and created such a beautifully crafted character. he has a heart now. perhaps a tiny one but it’s there. the backstory you’ve created for him and the future he has - all stunning and wonderful. i love this man. he deserves so much after the shit he’s been through. i’ve had the privilege of being in his orbit for a bit when i played logan. I still get to watch him and enjoy the light chaos he brings. i’m ready for the new era of casino owner orion and what trouble he’ll bring now.

𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕪 𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕤

the boy !!! the legend !!! i love shaggy so much. first of all, the future you planned for him. how dare you ?? do you like to see me cry ?? is that it ??? i’m glad he hit his happy arc now because WOW. pain. shaggy is just a nice guy, man. he’s so nice to everyone he meets. i want to be friends with shaggy and scoob. i love mystery inc. i can’t imagine anyone else playing shaggy but you. to me, you are him. he’s the heart of the group. it’s not mystery inc without him. therefore, you’re the heart also. it’s not the same without you.

𝕤𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕖

i could easily write an essay about how i love all your characters and how you play them all so well but i had to give this spot to sadie. the teagues are my og loves. every time i see sadie the part of my brain where logan resides lights up. she’s such a good character. she’s a little devil and it’s exactly what we need. we need someone to stir up the pot and throw eggs at kids. sadie is a product of her environment. she’s so tough and had to be so young. no one her age should have to grow up so fast the way she did. i would like to wrap sadie in a blanket give her some coco with bat marshmallows and tell her to take a break. hug her. maybe give her some therapy to. i love her. you’ve brought her to life in such an amazing way. i hope her brothers join her soon so we can have that sibling goodness.

𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕒 𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕒

i was tempted to put ian here because ian lightfoot is joel and we already know how much i love al and wendy but i decided to show the og love so i put nala. from the get go you knew who nala was going to be and where you wanted to go with her. you always bring so much to your characters. you develop them in ways that amazes me each time. go bestie go you’re so talented. i love how devoted she. how fierce she is but also the vulnerability you bring to her. she was thrown into a world at a young age fighting a war she wasn’t meant to and THAT’S a lot on someone. and we see that. i love the way you play her and i’m so happy you decided to take her up. sorry you have to deal with simba tho. pour one out.

𝕘𝕖𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕩𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙

everyone and their grandmother knows the oliver and co cast means everything to me. i’m so glad that you decided to join them ! you’re a wonderful addition. i love miss george. she’s fabulous in every sense of the word. sharpay evans is shaking in her lil boots. i just love divas. i love them. i am one. she’s perfect. and we know that’s not easy for her. i know your beautiful mind works wonders so i know there’s a lot of growing that georgette will be going through in the future and i’m excited for it. prayer circle for a jenny and oliver.

𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕓𝕚𝕟𝕩

when you auditioned for thackery you already had an idea of where you wanted to take him and how you wanted to add to his character while staying true to the bio. that is the kind of stuff i like to see. this man has seen some shit and also has been through some shit. i do hope one day his soul can be at ease. he needs a long cat nap. you care a lot for thackery and it’s lovely to see. he may be a hamilton hoe but we have to respect the drip & love him for it anyways.

𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕣

timmy boy deserves a hug. a hug and a nice space movie to take the edge off. you always put so much of your heart and yourself into your characters. you care so much for them and that’s evident in buzz. he’s goofy, he’s cool and he’s just so wonderful. i’m excited to see where buzz will go from here and how he’ll develop over time. i’m hoping some happiness. maybe some resolution with woodrow just to spice things up. that metal arm is still cool too.

𝕕𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕟𝕖 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖

hey bestie !!! wow !!! daphne ??? gives me so much pain. I am so glad to be going on this angst journey of mystery inc and fred/daph with you. your love for her and the gang makes my heart so happy. i will happily spend hours talking about them and sending tiktoks to each other that remind us of them. you went beyond the assignment. you were just born to play daphne. you write her so well and understand her past the bio, past the inspirations of the live actions and mystery inc. you get her. you see her. she’s in good hands. i’m ready for all the pain she’s about to cause me.

𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖

i love penelope. i really do. i am penelope’s number one stan. it was discussed before but it’s so easy to play miss piggy as unlikeable since she is such a brash character but you bring so much light and love to penny. it’s hard not to be in love with her and want her to succeed in everything she does. she’s the miss piggy we all grew up with but she’s also special because you’ve added your own personal touches to her. she’s an amazing character. i would punch anyone who’s wronged penelope. i’m excited for the layers to start peeling back and we see more of penny - especially her badass ways. i just love the way you play her and i love penelope hainline okay. i lovoe divas as stated above what can i say.

𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕣𝕒 𝕔𝕒𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕥

ANNIE !!!! WOW AURORA ??? genuinely she is the love of my life. I love her so, so much. she’s so sweet and wonderful and deserve to be tucked in ??? read a bed time story ??? and not be cursed ??? why’d i do that. she deserves the world and so do you. in the short amount of time you’ve had her you’ve added so much depth to her story. which is not always easy the first few months you have a character but you’ve put in a lot of love into aurora already. you understood the assignment and & went beyond. i’m so excited to see where she goes on her journey and what will happen when he hopefully get a maleficent one day. also is it an aurora shoutout without me saying philip loves her ??? bc he does.

#waltmeme #me: already has two mascots why not throw in a third ???#take a shot everytime i say wonderful amazing andexcited

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letterboxd · 3 years ago

Photo

Beastly Baby.

False Positive writer and director John Lee tells Ella Kemp about causing chaos with his daughters, preferring to be in the kitchen at parties and using art to reckon with the darkest parts of life.

“Art is the history of destruction in many ways, so embrace that in your life.” —John Lee

Once upon a time, a woman called Lucy dreamed of having a little girl. She planned to name her Wendy. Struggling to get pregnant with her husband John, they sought help from miracle fertility doctor Adrian Hindle and, like magic, soon enough they were expecting a daughter. This is how director John Lee’s False Positive kicks off, but an opening shot of a blood-soaked Ilana Glazer suggests this fairy tale is of the darker variety.

The script, co-written by Lee and Glazer, deals with the twisty dynamics between men and women at a moment in life where trust should be more important than anything. Both Broad City star Glazer and Wonder Showzen co-creator Lee are best known for their work in television comedy. In making the leap to psychological thriller, the experience, especially for Glazer fans, feels increasingly unsettling. But it is a short walk from tragedy to comedy, so the reverse is usually also true—as many comedy creators before them have proven.

False Positive is about gaslighting, legacy, appearances, fairy tales and all the insidious feelings that get wrapped up in relationships that we often mistake for pure, true love. It’s also something of a contemporary homage to Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby (more on that in a minute)—showcasing, here, female agency in a much more complex way.

“The tensions of sacrificing one’s body to grow another… allows for greater glimpses into the diminishment of women throughout pregnancy,” writes Claira Curtis, with Wes Lawson echoing this succinctly by calling False Positive “a horror movie that asks ‘What if your pregnancy was entirely dictated by men?’” It works because of just how awfully compelling these men are—our favorite clean-cut James Bond star Pierce Brosnan delivers a wickedly unsettling turn as Hindle, while Justin Theroux, as John, proves a good bone structure might just be the most untrustworthy thing a man can offer you.

But the film would be nothing without Glazer as Lucy. A million miles away from her effervescent, stoner comedy in Broad City, she’s showing a different side here: a vulnerable woman trying with all her might to keep control over her body, her job, her autonomy, her future.

John Lee spoke to us about Glazer’s intuition, the power of destruction and how Peter Pan is at the root of everything. This interview contains discussion of the film’s plot.

John (Justin Theroux) and Lucy (Ilana Glazer) during a visit to Dr. Hindle’s fertility clinic.

To what extent is Rosemary’s Baby the parent of False Positive? John Lee: I’m certainly standing on the shoulders of Rosemary’s Baby. In the history of cinema, it’s probably the most famous birth movie there is. But I just would say: let’s not continue down the path of Rosemary's Baby, let’s go the opposite way. I think one of the problems with Rosemary’s Baby is that it doesn’t quite get in the head of Mia Farrow as Rosemary. It’s a very removed movie, it’s equally about the two men in her life. I wanted to make sure that we were in Lucy’s head. I wanted you to experience what it means to be gaslit. Women know what that’s like, men rarely know what that’s like. I apologize! But that’s the truth.

Most men don’t know what it means to be debased in that way. I wanted to use cinema, which is so psychological, to really express that, because there’s a lot of psychological thrillers that don’t actually get into psychology. They explain things, and I didn’t want to explain things because I think sometimes evil’s not necessarily explained, it’s a feeling, it’s an experience. It’s that buzzy intuition that women, people of color and queer people have.

I wanted to do that in a way that is different than Rosemary’s Baby, in a way that I think is more reflective of an experience that my wife and I had. Before having our first kid, we had infertility issues, and so I wanted to really dive into that. And so it’s only Rosemary’s Baby in that it’s about birth. The joke that Ilana and I had is that we were making Rosemary’s Baby without the rape.

Speaking of Ilana, I’d like to borrow a line from the movie to ask you what she taught you, as a writer and actor, about female intuition? Ilana is a very fiercely independent woman—and so is my wife, partner and best friend, Alyson Levy, who I’ve also made stuff with. I grew up American so, you like sports, you play sports. And there would be parties and men would be in the living room watching football, and I would go in there, and it was just extremely boring. No one’s talking or saying anything. So I would go into the kitchen, and there’d be these women laughing, crying, making fun of each other. And I was just like, “Oh, this is the place! This is where sarcasm lives.”

I also have a sister who is a big influence in my life, and then seeing my wife who just doesn’t put up with any shit, I’m kind of intimidated by it, and I’m in awe. So in terms of our process on the movie, I think I’ve just been infused with that for a long time and brought that awareness.

When Ilana and I wrote the script, I would let her take the keyboard and write that stuff—because I can’t speak it. I know the feeling of it, but it’s not my voice. We would have discussions but it was all very mercurial and open and free and collaborative in a way that there was no pressure. Collaboration is about being vulnerable and truthful. It’s being an ego sometimes, but also knowing my place to let things be.

When it came to directing Ilana’s performance, was there anything that surprised you once your dynamic shifted as collaborators? I think the experience for Ilana was tough, because I took away all the things that make her a magical person. Her crazy hair’s gone, her sense of being a wild spirit is gone, her humor gone—all her tools. It’s brutal. I started to admire as we went on just how hard it was for her, so I would just try to give her as many hugs as I could! I would just try to support her in being able to be closed off, and then building up to the climax of the movie when she literally starts throwing punches.

We shot that at the end on purpose, so she couldn’t actually experience that, so she had to be in this tension. In terms of specific surprises, when Hindle inseminates her for the first time, and she and him have basically a sexual experience, I was really surprised by her version of it. It was so quiet and delicate and hopeful.

Lucy’s outburst at the end makes for one of a very small handful of moments in the film which features a very intense, guttural scream. These moments are extremely well chosen—how did you go about deciding which specific beats to give that visceral power to? My job as a writer is to create as much tension as possible. I don’t care about explanations in movies and I’m rarely surprised by a twist. What I really enjoy is the transition from one state to the next, a metamorphosis. And birth is a metamorphosis, pregnancy is that, so I was really into that experience of just really sitting in the quiet nervous tension, this nervous laughter in a moment when you can only laugh because you don’t know how else to respond.

I wanted to give a little bit of relief, because you have to go through a journey and she has to scream at some point. She has to throw punches, or the movie’s just dire and I’m not that dire of a person. I’m really also very optimistic and I wanted this movie to be. Even though it’s a bit aggressive, the screams were an exaltation of her independence. Screaming is good.

During the pandemic, I’ve told my daughters, “Let’s go be destructive a little bit.” You have to! So we get those bubble teas and shoot them at cars. I’m like, “Let’s go smash a bottle! No one’s gonna get hurt, we’re not causing damage.”

But you do have to let that out. You have to find a way, whether it be through creativity or music or art, or smashing a bottle, to express that. Art is the history of destruction in many ways, so embrace that in your life. Lucy embracing that was important. From screams to punches to blood, to smashing. Because the phrase “smash the patriarchy” exists—it requires a smash!

But there’s also a tenderness to False Positive. The only thing that stops it veering into the abyss and being destructive all the time is the reliance on fairy tales. It’s in the score and in the script, crucially through the relationship the film has with the story of Peter Pan. Before my wife and I had our kids we had a miscarriage, and I was reading Peter Pan at the time. In the book, there are chapters where the parents are sitting in the kids’ rooms staring out the window, waiting for them to return. I was reading that and I was trying to understand loss and memory. How do you get over something like that and just have a kid again? What does that mean to the kid you were about to have?

That notion of the parents staring out the window became one of the darkest things I realized, because there’s only two options: those kids were either thrown out the window, or someone stole those children. It really made me rethink Peter Pan—like, all fairy tales are actually dark stories. And then I started to realize the evil that men do is rape in every possible way: financial, physical, all kinds of control. The evil that women do is killing their babies. So I was like, “Oh my god, okay, that’s a movie, right there.”

So this movie is about that loss of innocence at your own demise, and what that means to try to understand the women who have done that, and why they did it. They had such a lack of support, institutionally, structurally and healthcare-wise. And what we do in this country is we just say, “Oh, that’s mommy brain.” We don’t actually say, “Hey, let’s give these people support for whatever they’re going through.” So all that is both profoundly dark and profoundly humorous, in the same way that when you ride a roller coaster, you either scream or you crack up. I want this movie to feel like that experience.

So if Lucy is a vague proxy for Wendy, who is Peter? John or Adrian? Peter Pan, the trickster, is the Beast that makes brief appearances throughout the movie—Lucy’s intuition.

Pierce Brosnan and John Lee on the set of ‘False Positive’.

Let’s move onto some quickfire Life in Film questions. Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia! or as James Bond? Pierce Brosnan in Mrs. Doubtfire.

What’s your favorite unconventional fairy tale? It’s ‘The Story of the Youth Who Went Forth To Learn What Fear Was’ by the Grimm Brothers. There are three brothers, and two of them go to find something scary, but one can’t be scared. They do all these elaborate plots to make them scared, and the only thing that scares him is they put fish down his pants, and that gives him the shivers. They put fish down his pants on his wedding night, so it’s very clearly about sexuality.

I also love all these Asian fairy tales, in which I don’t think monsters have to be evil. They are a reflection of how you treat them. So if you treat them well, they will be well back to you. And so that’s Lucy’s intuition—there’s a monster in the movie, but it’s telling her to wake up. I really enjoy that kind of thing, you see that in a lot of Miyazaki films and I’m like, why don't we embrace that here? Why are we stuck in black and white?

What is the one film that made you want to be a filmmaker? Stranger than Paradise by Jim Jarmusch. My girlfriend in high school brought it home, and she’s like, “This looks weird. Let’s watch this.” And I realized I had seen some of it before but then was just like, “Oh my god, this is an option? You can do this.” I grew up in a really small town with half migrant workers and half hillbillies, Steinbeck country. And so I didn’t realize you could do something like that. I just thought: whatever that is, I want to go down that path.

Tinkerbell, Peter Pan and Wendy in ‘Peter Pan’ (1953).

And finally: what’s your favorite filmed version of Peter Pan? The Disney animated version. I think the song at the end, ‘He Can Fly’, is beautiful and we used a lot of references from it in the movie. All the other versions are a little hokey to me.

Related content

The ‘Good for Her’ cinematic universe: a list by Claira

Dogfood’s list of horror films in which pregnancy, insemination and/or childbirth are a major plot point

Body Horror: $am’s list of ‘something is wrong with my body’ movies

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘False Positive’ is streaming now on Hulu.

#false positive #ilana glazer #john lee #horror #body horror #films about pregnancy #thriller #horror film #letterboxd #pierce brosnan #jim jarmusch #peter pan #disney #miyazaki #wonder showzen

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sams-sass · 5 years ago

Text

Hear Me

Hi! Here is something I thought of and wanted to write down for you guys. Thanks for all the love!

GIF not mine.

Summary: The case leads for Sam and Dean to find something out about you as Dean realizes something of his own.

Characters: You, Sam, Dean

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None really, show level violence

You, Sam, and Dean busted back into the motel room. You had spent the whole day looking into the lives of the victims and couldn’t come up with a single connection. Without a connection, there really wasn’t much to go on. All of the victims were female and had their throats slit and vocal cords removed. Other than that, they really had nothing in common. Different jobs, friends, ages, races, everything basically. You, Sam, and Dean had split up and gone to all the houses, it was a long day of listening to sad stories. You sat down on the bed as Dean handed you and Sam a beer before cracking one of his own.

“Maybe this isn’t a monster. Maybe its just a bad person doing a bad thing.” Sam said after taking a long drag from his beer.

“I don’t know, man. The lack of evidence, the stealing of the larynx specifically, the way the bodies were just tossed and not cared about. Seems pretty monstery to me.” Dean said back, his tone unsure.

“Sorry, Sammy, but I gotta go with Dean on this one. After leaving 7 bodies behind and not leaving a trace of evidence, especially since it could care less about the victims. It seems too lucky to be a human.” You weighed in coming to stand next to Sam.

“Alright so, lets go over it again. Dean, what did you find out about Beth?” Sam asked.

“Nothing man, she was a good girl. She wanted to be a scientist, she was studying physics, she had a boyfriend, craziest thing she did was sing karaoke at the local bar on Thursdays with friends.” Dean answered.

“Wait, she sang karaoke?” You asked looking up at him.

“Yeah, friend said she was good and that she loved to sing. What does that have to do with anything?” Dean asked giving you a confused look.

“The two girls I asked about, Jen and Grace. They were both singers too. Jen was a lot more professional taking gigs at bars, but she was also older. Grace was in her church choir. I didn’t think anything of it because a lot of people sing.” You answered

“Wait, my two were also singers. Hannah and Wendy both sang whenever they could. I didn’t think anything of it because what monster cares about singing.” Sam said nodding.

“Yeah….yeah the other two I asked about, uh Kelly and Dana they sang too. I ruled it out as a coincidence for same reason as Sam, what monster cares?” Dean agreed with the two of you.

“Holy….jackpot.” Sam said staring at his computer.

“What?” You and Dean said at the same time.

“There is a charity benefit concert thing coming up on Saturday, locally, and 4 out of our 7 victims were registered to be in it.” Sam said looking at the two of you, turning his computer so you could see.

“Well, that’s not a coincidence.” You said looking over the webpage.

“No, its not.” Dean shook his head next to you.

“This is a problem.” You sighed standing up straight.

“What is?” Dean asked.

“Every girl who is still registered is in danger. I think we need to be backstage.” You said letting your hip rest against the counter and crossing your arms.

“So what your saying is…we need a girl who can sing to go undercover for us.” Sam said raising one eyebrow and tilting his head in your direction.

“Concerts two days away.” You answered looking away, deep in thought. “I’ll sneak in the back and pretend to be a contestant. That way I can keep an eye on all of the girls and also feed you guys information as you’re in the audience.”

“You can’t sing….what if you have to sing?” Dead was confused, eyebrows furrowed.

“I can sing, I just don’t randomly sing in front of people.” You explained. “Now, if you will excuse me. I have some shopping to do and you guys have some tux’s to look into.”

“Tux?!” Dean said, eyes wide.

“Did you not read the part where it said it was a black tie affair?” You said grabbing your purse and heading for the door. You had seen a little boutique on your way in and knew they would have a dress for you. “Peace.” You said giving them a smile as the door closed behind you. You walked to the boutique to find a woman with a friendly face and a large smile. She helped you choose several dresses that you tried on. You found the one. It was a gown that hugged your curves and let loose where you wanted it too. It was a classic dress. You bought it and walked out of the store happy.

The next day the three of you devised a plan. Dean got a hold of the blueprints for the building and you two created a plan on the best way for you to sneak in. You then helped Sam to research on what this monster could be.

“Oh my god…” You said looking at the webpage in front of you. “Well, goddess to be correct.”

“Goddess? What goddess?” Dean asked coming to stand behind you. He put his arms on the chair and leaned down. You could feel his breath on your skin, it was a slight distraction.

“Aoede, the goddess of voice and song. She was one of the original muses in Greek mythology. Said to collect voices of true song from those she deemed worthy.” You said reading from the page.

“Great. Another goddess.” Dean said pinching the bridge of his nose.

“How do we kill her?” Sam asked.

“According to this her only weakness is a gold blade dipped in the blood of a virgin.” You sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

“Why do these things like virgins so much?” Dean spread his arms out, annoyance on his handsome face.

“Don’t know.” Sam said shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders.

“I have a crazy idea.” You said biting your lower lip. “Well, out of the three of us, I have definitely had the least amount of sex. So, what about if we purify my blood and give it a shot?”

“It could work.” Dean said tilting his head to the side and raising his hands in a “whatever” gesture.

“I mean if it doesn’t we’re screwed….but we’re always screwed and I don’t have a better idea so, alright.” Sam said placing his hands on his shoulder and looking into your eyes as you smiled up at him.

The next day you spent getting ready, the concert started at 7 and you were nervous. You hadn’t sung in years and you picked a big song. You dressed in black slacks and a white button down with a black vest over it. You went to the concert hall two hours early and snuck in the back door. You waited for other staff members begin to arrive, then you quietly walked into the room and stood with the rest of the cocktail waiters and waitresses. People began to arrive and fill the room, you slipped away and grabbed your backpack out of the bathroom stall you locked it in and walked in the back towards the dressing rooms. You found an empty one and locked the door. You curled your hair and pinned one side back letting the others fall. You went for a bold makeup look, a dark smokey eye and bold red lips. Taking the gold jewelry that you kept from your previous life before you became a hunter, you added a necklace, earrings, and a bracelet. Then you slipped on your new dress and heels and opened the door as other contestants began to fill the halls. You needed to be quick to get to the band before people started taking their seats. You walked to the back and found the head of music, identifying him from the website you and Sam looked over. You quietly slipped him a 50 and whispered the song into his ear, placing your hand on his chest and looking up at him from your eyelashes. He nodded and licked his lips, letting his eyes linger on you for too long. You walked to the back of the stage with the other girls and waited.

People were now taking their seats as Sam and Dean looked around the room trying to find the seat with the best view to see the crowd. They walked to the back and took seats directly in the middle, looking around the room.

“Man, I hate wearing this thing.” Dean said tugging on his collar slightly. “I look like a penguin.” Sam smirked and looked at the crowd. The first few people came out and sang, they were all good, but neither Sam or Dean saw a reaction in the audience. Then you came on stage. Dean sat a little straighter in his chair as his stomach flipped. You were radiant, your dress was tight and showed off your figure. Your red lips were turned into a small smile as your heels clicked against the floor. The music started and Dean couldn’t look at anything but you. Your mouth opened and Dean heard the sound that suddenly made everything make sense.

Share my life, take me for what I am 'Cause I'll never change all my colors for you

Take my love, I'll never ask for too much Just all that you are and everything that you do

“Did you know she could sing like that?” Sam asked leaning in closer. Dean couldn’t form words at the moment so he just shook his head. I don't really need to look very much further I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow I won't hold it back again, this passion inside Can't run from myself There's nowhere to hide Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me... I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you

Your body was swaying along with the song and Dean couldn’t pull his eyes away, he was pretty sure he didn’t even blink. Dean was sitting there, mind swirling with images of you, quickly realizing he has been in love with you for years. Of course there was the playful flirting and smiles but this was something new. This feeling in his chest was growing in him and he couldn’t breathe. His arms were planted firmly on his thighs, holding him up. His green eyes gazing at you in a new light. You see through right to the heart of me You break down my walls with the strength of your love I never knew love like I've known it with you Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to I don't really need to look very much further I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow I won't hold it back again, this passion inside I can't run from myself There's nowhere to hide Your love I'll remember forever Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me... I have nothing, nothing, nothing...

You spread your arms out wide and looked through the whole audience. Dean knew you couldn’t see him, but God all he wanted was for you to look directly at him. His whole body was on fire and you were the only medicine. Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me, no Don't walk away from me Don't you dare walk away from me I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you

The entire audience was silent after you sang your final note before an eruption of applause surged through the crowd. People stood as they continued to clap, you took a small bow and waved as you walked off the stage. The trance Dean was in broke as Sam hit him in the chest lightly, getting his attention.

“Dude, black dress three o’clock.” Dean looked to where his brother was pointing, a woman with long auburn hair was exiting her row and heading for the backstage hallway. The two hurried from their seats and followed after her. When they walked into the hallway you were standing there, waiting.

“I saw her come this way.” You said as the brothers approached you. As soon as the words left your mouth Sam went flying towards the wall. Dean turned and grabbed his gold knife with your blood on it from the back of his pants. The woman walked out of the darkness and into the light. She was stunning. She had long auburn hair that cascaded in a waterfall of waves down her back, her eyes were a shining royal blue and her skin was a rich almond color with not a trace of impurities. As the two of you looked at her she waved her hand and Dean also went flying. Sam got up and charged at her with his knife, she quickly walked towards all of you and rammed Sam back to the ground.

“I just want your voice.” She said to you.

“Sorry, sis.” You said before you too were slammed into the wall. Dean charged at her and was able to land one blow in before she flung him across the room again. You tried to get up but couldn’t, there was something holding you to the ground. She continued to toss the boys around as you struggled against her hold. She pinned Dean to the ground and was holding her hand up, ready to strike when her head flung back as the gold blade entered her chest. She screamed loud and high, a light came from her chest and she burst into a ball of light that slowly dissipated. You stood there with the gold knife in your hand, panting slightly.

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” Dean said as Sam helped him to his feet. You nodded and the three of you quickly ran out the back door, someone must have heard something and was going to come and look. You all walked into the motel and Sam was the first to talk.

“So, Y/N.” Here we go. “Why didn’t you tell us you could sing like that?” He asked undoing his bowtie.

“What was I supposed to do? Be like oh, by the way guys: I’m a really good singer? Good morning, I can sing my little heart out, side note.” Sam laughed with you as you giggled.

“You’re amazing, Y/N.” Dean said, there was no joking in his face as he looked into your eyes.

“Thank you.” You tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear as you looked down and smiled, feeling shy. You licked you lips. “Hey, mind if I take the first shower?” You asked. Both boys said you could take it and you quickly stepped out of your heels. Undressing and getting under the warm water felt really good, it is always fun to dress up now and again, but you enjoyed sweat pants a little more. As the makeup washed off your face and the curls were rinsed from your hair you thought about Dean. He looked so good tonight in his tux and for a few moments you could have sworn he was staring. Your crush on him had been brewing for a long time and you didn’t know how much longer you could hold it in. How many more times could you see him pick up some girl who smelt like 5 dollar perfume? How many more times could you have him wink at you or kiss you on the head and not reciprocate? How many more times could you ignore the dance your insides did when he looked at you like he was tonight? You shook all thoughts from your head and got out of the shower, putting on sweat pants and a big shirt for sleeping. You walked into the room as Sam walked into the bathroom. You gave Dean a small smile and walked over to one of the beds. You both sat down and it was then that you noticed Dean seemed nervous. He looked at you and then quickly looked away.

“What is it?” You asked facing him and leaning your head, trying to catch his eyes.

“Y/N….I don’t know how to say this.” Your breath caught in your throat as your stomach twisted into a tight knot.

“What is it?” You asked, trying to sound calm as your palms got sweaty.

“I, well, I think I’m in love with you.” He said finally looking at you. “I mean it, Y/N, when you were on that stage tonight…I could hardly breathe. You are the first thing that pops into my head in the morning and the last thing that floats through my mind at night. I always thought we were best friends, but baby, you mean so much more to me than just friendship.” He moved so he was now kneeling in front of you. His hands resting on your thighs as he spoke. “Every time I hear your voice my day is instantly better, every time I see you after a case I automatically know its going to be ok. You’re the one Y/N, you’re the one for me.” His hands were now running up and down your thighs as his eyes held yours.

“I love you too, Dean. I always have.” Was the only thing you could think of to say. He laughed slightly and you did too he then leaned forward and pressed his plump lips to yours. Your mouths moved together in perfect sync, his tongue entering your mouth, you sucking lightly on his bottom lip. Everything about the kiss was more than you ever dreamed of. Sam clearing his throat is what broke the two of you apart. He gave an awkward nod as he pressed his lips into a hard line. He quietly grabbed his bag and mumbled something about getting his own room. As soon as the door shut Dean was on you again, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek as his lips found yours again. His fingers lightly brushed the back of your neck as you twisted your arms around him. You both fell into the passionate and warm bliss that surrounded you and succumbed to your feelings.

As Sam walked out of the office holding the key to his own room he whispered a ‘finally’ to himself as his mouth rounded into a smile.

Three years later

“Dean!” You screamed running through the halls of the bunker. You guys had found this place a few months ago and nothing felt as good as having something to call ‘home’, or so you thought. You ran into his chest as he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you away from him, checking you over for an injury.

“What is it, baby?” He said, worry etched into his face.

“I’m….I’m….I.” You tried but you couldn’t get it out so you just handed him the test. He took it from you and stared at the plus sign. Your fingers nervously twisted as he continued to stare.

“You’re pregnant.” He said matter of factly. “Oh my God! You’re pregnant!” He said lifting you in his arms and kissing you desperately on the mouth. “I love you so much, I love you, I love you, I love you.” He said as tears filled his eyes.

“I love you too, Dean Winchester.” Was all you could get out before his mouth stopped you from speaking.

#dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x female!reader #spn #spnfandom #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fandom #dean x you

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robotslenderman · 4 years ago

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Hi, is the city never sleeps, just Wendy's background. Have you created the Wendy fic? How could you bully, Cock robin (he my fav).

Yes, that’s Wendy’s Embrace fic!

For Wendyfic -- its title is “Radio Silence”, and it is not up yet. I am currently writing the second draft (muuuuuch slower than the first/predraft bc of the way I write). I’ve written the second draft just for the first couple of chapters -- it’s slower going because it’s editing, and also because uni just started up again.

As for Cock Robin -- poor bugger gets bullied but he gives just as good as he gets, lol.

But there’s one role he does play, and it’s as a critique of Nosferatu culture. And when you stand up against an entire culture... yeah, they’re not gonna be happy. Hence why the Nosferatu dislike Cock Robin so much in my fic.

Below the cut I discuss how this happens, with only very mild spoilers (spoilers for themes, basically, and how certain characters reflect those themes without going into the WHAT they do to reflect those themes). Spoilers for Wendy’s Embrace fic follow.

Radio Silence is about what happened following the NSA breach of SchreckNET in 2004. In it, the Camarilla want a scapegoat for the breach -- and they choose Gerard Rafin (Uncle Smelly) and Wendy Taylor, the creator of SchreckNET and his childe respectively, as they are the administrators of SchreckNET and therefore its security and the security of the Masquerade there were their responsibility. While Uncle Smelly is in Camarilla custody, Wendy escapes New York to go to Baltimore in an attempt to redeem herself and her sire, only to realise there’s more to the Breach than she thought there was.

One ongoing theme throughout Radio Silence is Nosferatu culture -- how it’s basically an extended family. In a world where most Kindred are loners who distrust and actively screw each other over, Nosferatu are the opposite (at least, in my headcanon). That Nosferatu are very social creatures and, for the most part, very welcoming and warm towards other Nosferatu. They are very loyal.

For most of the fic, we see the more positive aspects of that. The positive aspects of having a place to belong, the positive aspects of the warmth between Warrens, the positive aspects of the expectations being part of a Warren confers on you and the positive ways of how people respond to that.

But there’s no such thing as a utopia, and thoughout Radio Silence there’s references to the... not so good parts of Nosferatu culture. The flipsides of the above.

That’s where Cock Robin comes in.

As an antagonist, he shines a light on the shadow sides of being Nosferatu.

Like, Nosferatu are very loyal and cover each other -- that’s a good thing. Right?

Except when it’s not.

Like when you’re loyal to someone that fucked up big time and the covering up of those mistakes leads to worse consequences down the line than if the Nosferatu had thrown the person responsible under the bus. Cock Robin drags this aspect of the Nosferatu out kicking and screaming from under the carpet where the Nossies hid it. In the City that Never Sleeps we see Calebros covering up Wendy’s breach of SchreckNET to Michaela to protect the Nosferatu and Gerard; in Radio Silence Cock Robin condemns behaviour like that because it hides just how much of a threat there is to the Masquerade to the Camarilla. Robin condemns that kind of deception because it threatens everybody.

Cock Robin represents truth, and how unpleasant it is, and how it can be incompatible with loyalty.

Nosferatu value loyalty; Cock Robin shows how loyalty can be destructive.

Nosferatu value secrets; Cock Robin shows how that can threaten everyone.

Nosferatu value love of family; Cock Robin shows how that can ultimately destroy the family.

So yeah. He pisses off every single Nosferatu in the fic because he’s not afraid to stand up for what he thinks is right even when it inconveniences the Nosferatu. He’s an iconoclast, and nobody likes an iconoclast. If a nail stands out, it gets hammered down. And the Nosferatu, including Wendy, want to hammer the shit out of him.

Cock Robin basically forces Wendy to face certain parts of Nosferatu culture that she was uncomfortable with, parts that she has been trying to pretend she’s okay with or will eventually be okay with. She doesn’t like that. Especially when it forces her to choose between her morals and the people she cares about.

I really, really had a blast writing his role in the fic.

#VTM #Wendy Taylor #Radio Silence #Wendyfic #Dusty writes #roseate-lagomorph

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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Genuine question what is billions even about I see clips all the time and I cannot figure out what the plot is besides like “business” but I am very much in love w Taylor Mason (i think that’s their last name?) so I am intrigued ...

oh i’m so glad you asked

yeah it’s not at all a Just You thing, not only do we often only post about a particular slice of the series, it’s just REALLY difficult to get (or provide. but i’m always up for the challenge) a sense of what Billions is like as a series like, genre wise, and re: the plot, my god, every [usually more than 50 min but less than an hour] episode is a journey, in that So much will have happened. it moves at a Pace, i can tell you. but you know, good news in that it’s not really necessary to explain every plot thread ever, b/c it’s as much about its Themes or what have you

the stats rundown is billions is a weekly showtime tv series partway through its 5th season (12 episodes per season, currently they are producing the last half of s5 but had been on pandemic production hiatus for the past year, we do not yet know when the rest of s5 will air, s6 was greenlit a while ago) this isn’t really need to know for this question lol, but you don’t need to Not know either

the like, content Rundown is that yeah, it’s business, mostly high finance, although one of the main characters is always doing Legal Stuff (don’t care really b/c that side of things is not generally as relevant to, yes, taylor mason, who Makes the series). the kind of overarching Theme / premise is that the show is about like, here’s these Conflicts between people who are wielding some power in various ways, looking at the motivations of the individuals involved / the Cause And Effect web of these conflicts between them, e.g. how the consequences / fallout of one Power Play Maneuver will affect someone else’s storyline and result in them executing their own maneuvers, and of course, the pitfalls of all of this. more specifically, the series kicks off with the two (then (taylor is introduced in season 2) mainest characters, Axe, ceo of a hedge fund, and Chuck, some kind of lawyer who decides to go after axe b/c axe thinks he’s hot shit (true) and chuck is like ohhh i gotta do something about this guy. so there’s an Unending Conflict, axe vs chuck, an ongoing back and forth series of small or more overarching battles, and of course sometimes alliances, because there’s a Lot of characters on this show and we’re in season 5 so there’s been plenty of other Conflicts introduced besides this particular ongoing war. also, uh oh, chuck’s wife wendy works for the hedge fund axe runs! that’s just a whole wrench in things. as some sort of like, in house therapist performance coach sort of deal, thanks wendy, she’s also fairly a Main Character

axe is somewhat more relevant for our purposes b/c that’s that Finance side of the show via which taylor is introduced. but yeah both axe and chuck are exasperating lmfao like, this isn’t a show where it’s about the Likeability of whatever main character where like, you’re rooting for the obviously righteous / justified person or anything, it’s more about being along for the ride where you get to know Why people are engaging in these conflicts for sure, but like, unless you’re one of plenty of fans who maybe aren’t bringing the most Insight to the show who find any of this like, aspirational Epic Winner stuff like hell yeah axe or chuck as the Cool Guy Who Deserves To Win lmfao, being along for the ride is knowing that you’re just getting to watch this unfolding mess, so that’s “fun” lol

to get more to the point, yeah Taylor Mason is again the best part of the series lol, they’re introduced early in s2 as a Very Talented young iintern at axe capital (axe’s hedge fund) who, yknow, part of what makes axe an Eventful character to center things around is he’s (sometimes) capable re: all these strategic finance maneuvers, and also all “i don’t play by the rules,” which can often mean like, the actual rules like “no insider trading please” or more kinda implicit moral rules like “don’t keep taking Business Advantage over people’s deaths,” and here means that even though taylor is this early to mid 20something intern with no experience in finance who’s not even, at that juncture, necessarily planning to stay in the industry, he’s like yeah they’re valuable and i’m not gonna hold them back from that potential / opportunities * just because they’re a 20something new to the industry intern who definitely doesn’t behave in the Usual Way around here and is also a canon nonbinary character, thanks ( * you might not believe it, but axe does not proceed to only ever be a potential encouraging, opportunity creating ally* (*although, one nice thing is that they....almost always....have axe adamantly hold everyone who works with him to respecting taylor as a nonbinary person, at least in how they address taylor. b/c taylor Does get misgendered periodically, which can be exhausting, but they also aren’t exactly striving to hold it to what might be most “””realistic””” so like, taylor isn’t subject to transphobia and misgendering All The Time either) and so taylor very quickly goes beyond internship at axe cap, to the extent that when, at the end of season 2, axe effectively leaves them in charge of the whole fund when his own fuckups mean he temporarily Can’t helm axe cap

aaand then s3 starts off with taylor running things but has axe return Officially in charge soon enough, so there’s problems there, in that axe is now pulling taylor Back, and like, axe is alllllll about his ego, so it’s like, of course he’d Want taylor to have been able to successfully run axe cap while he couldn’t, since it’s his fund, but then of course he’s also mad about it b/c he needs everyone, like taylor, to know he’s better & more winning than them. and taylor doesn’t appreciate now being more sabotaged and stifled and that, like, if they’re mad about being treated this way, axe is just gonna be mad about That b/c you know, why aren’t they Only grateful to their mentor or deferential to his Skill And Experience, as well as the fact that no matter how much of an Ally you are to him, he’ll be mad if you’re not unilaterally loyal, aka if he fucks you over you can’t be mad about it or that’s actually a way you’re wronging Him, and you’re also wronging him if yknow, you say he can’t/shouldn’t just do what he wants, or do anything that to him implies you don’t think he’s objectively the Best most Winning and Deserving guy in whatever regards, like, if you’re associated with someone who makes him feel insecure in his superiority for one moment, and/or who he thinks doesn’t also recognize his superiority or something, he’ll be mad at you.......the Conflicts can arise v easily around here with this beloved character walking around. so, yeah, whereas season 2 for taylor is more like wow taylor you’ve got all this potential and value here, in season 3 taylor’s sure got reason to question their future at axe cap (see this post resident Billions / Taylor Mason Pro soph made last night) and, when not only are they and axe just more often going head to head over what they want here, there’s also this added egregious conflict of “taylor starts seeing this guy oscar who’s also in finance (but not at axe cap) and when they ask axe for some input on a matter via which they intended to help oscar out, axe uses that Information taylor just used to fuck oscar over to his own advantage, and when taylor is like ‘what the hell’ axe is just like ‘what’d you expect!! i gotta be me!!! if you expected anything different, that’s on you, and if you Did expect me to do this, that’s also on you’ because i’m sure it’s a surprise to hear that axe considers himself this like, force of nature where all his feelings and motivations and justifications are Objective and Correct, and then taylor has to tell oscar what happened and naturally this ends the relationship, to their evident further unhappiness” and oops, season 3 ends with taylor having started their own hedge fund.

i could give a tl;dr for what happens over the course of s4 & (so far in) s5, but i think the s2/s3 arcs are kinda the Essential Lore for explaining this character who crashes into the show (not in that their character tends to crash, their arrival and presence is clearly somewhat of a shakeup re: the norm, but they themself are all about staying balanced and Not being driven by tumultuous emotional impulses or anything like that, *cough, the characters they are quite a Foil to in this way*) and quickly ascends to Main Charactership. (also just remembered the other stats note that taylor is played by asia kate dillon, who is themself nonbinary.) another element that is a lot of fun re: taylor is that they have like, the series’ best Friendship lol, the show is not very conducive to a bunch of characters having a bunch of heartwarming relationships, though they sure Do appreciate those characters and let us see a lot of Dynamics at play even beyond the “these people are locked in conflict” plots and characterful interactions and moments for their own sakes, and Alliances, even friendships, sure are the other side of the Ongoing Conflicts coin here. but what i’m getting around to is that taylor gets to be good buds with mafee, a Guy who was working at axe cap already in season 1, who, along with ben kim (Another Guy At Axe Cap in S1, who we are also fans of) is like, one of the actually nice(r) people around there, and who is just like. such this Hapless Cishet Dude lmfaooo but he also happens to be the guy overseeing taylor’s (and presumably others’) internship, and is yknow, maybe kinda conflicted about “i’ve Been an actual employee this whole time and there goes an intern rocketing past me” but is also Supportive towards taylor, and taylor in turn is an Ally to him, and they are Friends, and when taylor starts their own fund, Taylor Mason Capital, mafee is the person from axe cap who helps them do it and leaves axe cap to work for them there. there’s also a part in s4, after an arc in the middle of the season ended up with taylor taking quite an emotional L, mafee has gone and confronted Responsible Parties over it and, naturally, ended up in a charity interfund Boxing Match (which, a] billions is deliberately Wild plenty of times in both its Elevated Dialogue style but also just like, things that happen lol but b] apparently that’s something that can & does happen in real life in hedge fund world. absolutely bizarre to learn this kind of stuff) taylor kinda gives him this pep talk including “asking you to come with me (to TMC, mase cap, their fund) was the best decision i ever made” and even back then, when we’d just started paying attention to the show fairly recently and weren’t exactly familiar with everyone and everything going on, it was like oh i Gotta post that clip lmao

there are many other side characters, this is a very Populated show, including like, recurring characters, people liable to be introduced at various points who might become regulars Or make repeat appearances but more periodically Or be around for part of a season, but naturally also i am mentioning one specific side character of Winston (No Official Last Name), who is a Quant, aka a quantitative rather than fundamental analyst, who first appeared in One Scene at the start of season 3 when taylor was looking to hire some quants for a project, but did not succeed, and the character (then only Quant Kid 2) was only meant to have that one appearance, but delightfully everyone wanted him back and they wrote more material for him asap. taylor later brings him on to their quant project, which is revealed to be part of what ensures they can start their own fund, and in season 4 winston is apparently the head of the quant team at mase cap, and he continues to appear as taylor’s main Quant. could go into a long (and, as he’s not a Main Character and it’s easier to cover his material, very thorough) tangent there lol but you’re asking about taylor and i’m only bringing up winston b/c technically he Is relevant there lmfao but also, i have to, and [tfw this side character quant who was originally only going to appear in one brief scene was the reason you got into this series in the first place and now it’s like well, We’re Here Forever, and also, taylor mason is The character]

natch you must’ve noticed if you’re sending me an ask about billions, but if you like taylor mason you Gotta be following @nothingunrealistic the #1 Tayficianado and who has also recently nobly finished Actually Properly Watching Billions and who can give you all kinds of info about the character / series, there’s A LOT to cover and it’s kinda impossible to convey some stuff w/o simply experiencing things yourself firsthand lmfao but also, we think about these characters and this show every day for like, two years and running, so. as you can see......totally willing to talk about it at any time to any extent lol

#anonymous #winston billions #So glad to get asks like this at any point lmfao like #oh someone's asked me about My Interest huh lol. here we go babeyyy

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ddp456 · 4 years ago

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My retirement

Hey, all.

Boy, um, I’m sure that title is kind of a shocker, so I’ll do my best to explain myself. And stop me if you’ve heard this story before (or should I say, these stories before).

I created a surplus of materials and examples to go by when making a Gravity Falls/Wendy and Dipper story in the same fashion that I do. But in my heart of hearts, I can tell you all that the souls of these stories, the thing that everyone seems to tell me makes them so real, are based upon three real people.

I grew up a lot like Dipper did. I was a smart kid, but not that smart. I was the one everyone pointed at as a freak. The weirdo of the class. The smelly kid. I had friends; not a lot of them, but in most cases, time and distance separated us, or I drove them away of my own accord. I won’t excuse it by saying I was different; a lot of my pain I caused myself. I would be lying if I said I had proper guidance as well. I couldn’t tell you how many regrets I have.

But as I got older, I met someone special; someone different. They didn’t treat me the same as everyone else. I couldn’t tell you if it was out of pity, or perhaps, they were able to see something that other people couldn’t. And I appreciated it. To be honest, I loved them for that.

“Love,” I know, is a really strong word. It’s probably the most overused and misused word presented by most of civilization, and the majority of mass media. To me, love means to cherish, to want to protect, to wish no harm upon, and if possible, take the blunt of any blow wishing to do so.

I like a lot of people. I love a whole lot less, if that makes sense.

Even as I write this, I do not claim for this to be the correct way of looking at things; I can only tell you the way I saw things at the time.

Such is why I chose to hide my true feelings for the longest time. For all of the healing and solace this person gave to me, the very last thing I wanted for them was to be the monster’s mate. Unfortunately, my private life wasn’t too much better. It was like there was no safe haven I could provide.

Above all things, I didn’t want them to hate me for that.

Then, as always, fate played its hand. The good spark in my life was whisked away and I was forced to deal the rest of the world. But after the lot of a new series of battles and worries, something amazing happened. That little spark was reintroduced into my life.

But I was still afraid; afraid of the new monsters that would use this person to try to hurt me; afraid of a home life that wouldn’t accept them with open arms. I wanted to get closer so very much, but kept them at a safe distance.

That is, until fate struck again.

Pinned up against the wall, at the very last moment I’d believed I’d have with said person, I confessed everything.

Kinda makes you think of a certain two dorks locked in an underground bunker, doesn’t it?

They say with age, comes wisdom, and upon looking back, I understand my youthful folly. I shouldn’t have lied everything at their feet and expect a positive response. They were shocked by my admission, as they had their own feelings and hopes and dreams and heart’s desires.

I believed, because of my fear, I was too late. If I were honest from the beginning, maybe, it might have made a difference.

Despite of the distance and my own hardships, I tried my best to stay in touch with my friend. A lot of times, it was for the better. And a ton of times, it made things a jillion times worse. And I’ll admit; it was my fault. I let my own loneliness get the best of me. The very last thing I ever wanted to do was to creep someone out. Maybe that’s why it bugs me so much when someone jokingly says that about poor Dipper.

In the future, I would apologize for reaching out, only to have a welcome hand on my shoulder in return. “I’m really glad you did.”

As time passed, we did grow closer; not always in the ways I hoped, but I’d be fibbing if I said I didn’t enjoy it. We were constant valentines. They were my first real date; my first real kiss. I’d have calls waiting for me instead of me doing the chasing. For the first time in a very long time, I thought things were getting better.

But once again, fate would have its way...

Even after all these years, I question: how is it that upon telling a loved one that you must part ways (again), they become so upset that they strike you and demand why things are the way they are, if they do not care?

(For the record, kids. You should NEVER let a S.O. hit you no matter what. After all, don’t want to leave a bad example on the way out)

Part of me will always wonder if this is what made things sour between us; that eventually, I became another person that would always let them down, regardless if it were my fault or not.

Little did I know that behind their mild exterior, lived a wild heart that craved adventure and excitement. A group of rowdy and unpredictable friends were more than eager to help scratch that itch. I would be told incredible tales of mischief and wonder and mayhem. And if I were honest, I would say part of me was jealous. I wished it was just us having the adventures. I wish we could have spend the day together at an arcade. Or a carnival.

I’ll say something else I never admitted before. This person has told me countless times in our lives that I was their hero. The truth is that there were several times in my life were I considered them my hero. They were brave and independent and smart-on-their-feet and pretty much everything I wasn’t but wanted to be.

And beneath all that, there was a person who was embarrassed to be sensitive and “weak” and wanted to cry. At that time, I cherished that person more than anything in this world.

Then, I heard about the other stories: the “close-calls.” And that led me to believe that there would come a time where my loved one would go off on one of these wild adventures and never come back.

I wasn’t too far off. I’ll spare you all the rest of the details.

As I said earlier, I like a lot of people, but I love even fewer. So, it was a really long time before I could feel the same way about someone as I did before. In the middle of all of this, I accidentally stumbled upon a show on cable called Gravity Falls, and found a kindred spirit with the male lead, Dipper Pines.

Even more so, I saw parallel lines between my personal plight and that involving Dipper and his crush, Wendy. And while Wendy shares the same adventurous appetite as my loved one, that’s pretty much where their similarities end.

And poor Dipper, man. Oh, the internet was just brutal to that kid. “Robbie is the victim?” Get outta here with that garbage. It was the same crap I’ve heard half my life.

As I explored the GF fandom, I noticed a lot of the best Wendy/Dipper works came from fanfiction. (Thanks google!) And I found my inspiration for stories of my own. I was able to relate my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my doubts; bits and pieces of my real life, even if they are grossly exaggerated. (so, no fighting ghosts, haunted mansions, or cursed arcades for me, I’m afraid)

To my surprise, the first batch of stories received a ton of feedback. Lots of people cheered my interpretation of Wendy and Dipper, and what I hoped they’d evolve into. (I’d give myself a 70% on that estimate)

Did all of these viewers, reviewers, and rebloggers share the same view of the world; about love as I did?

About two years in, little did I know I would get another surprise. I would get a Dipper of my very own.

I wasn’t looking for love. Honest. But upon new experiences and meeting new people, I discovered someone - a special speck of wonder - that became enamored with me. I didn’t notice it at first. I still find it odd that someone can look or think of me in such a way.

But I remember what happened the last time I hesitated. I always said that in the slim chance I would ever get a second chance, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice.

I kept my word and enjoyed the best years of my life.

I made up a lot of lost time with an adorable hipster with a similar spirit to Wendy. An old soul, they loved retro culture as a whole: the movies, the music, even the video games. Their literary tastes were also very similar to mine. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a conversation with someone about books outside of a school setting.

But at the same time, you could see Dipper’s innocence there as well. A tough attitude hid a fragile heart. A hidden brilliance was often overshadowed by a lack of courage and self-esteem.

It was around this time that I noticed new comments on my latest stories. People were saying that I was (inadvertently) writing a stronger and more detailed Wendy. At first, I didn’t understand what they meant. Then, after thinking about it, I finally got what others were noticing.

My Wendy had changed because I had changed. Somehow, I gained a deeper insight on her character and the way she would view certain aspects of her life, I was now a Wendy myself, with a little Dipper that thought the world of me, and for this, I tried my best to make sure they would never feel the growing pains that Dipper (or a younger me, for that matter) would usually face alone. I was their cheering section, their coach, their backup, and I encorporated all of these things into our favorite redhead.

I found it funny that the show would (periodically) use that same angle. I only wish they would have done it as much as I did.

But as with all great things in my life, I royally screwed everything up. And during a time of distress and turmoil, my little Dipper found something better and hitched their wagon elsewhere.

So, by now, you have to be asking, “Why are you telling us bits and pieces of your life?” I do this because I want people to understand why I can’t do this anymore.

Don’t get me wrong. I love writing the stories. I also love the fact that there’s so many people that look forward to each tale, as if it was made by the real Gravity Falls team. To me, that’s a great honor that very little can ever replace.

But at the same time, the series (and especially Wendy and Dipper) is so close to my heart, and in some cases, so indistinguishable from certain aspects of my personal life that it actually hurts. For the record, I haven’t sat down and watched an episode of Gravity Falls since the Blu Ray box set came out, in which I listened to the commentary for a project for Wendip-Week.

Maybe it’s because I know what happens to Dipper and Wendy at the end of the series. Maybe it’s because their fate reminds me so much of my own. It’s a “Chicken or the Egg” question for sure.

This is why DBR3 and Serendipity took so long to finish. At times, I had to force myself on the computer to write 1,000 words at a time. It takes me months to do what I used to do in mere days or at most, a week. I don’t have the strength or the enthusiasm to do it at the same pace. And you all deserve better than that.

I need a break, guys and gals. I need to clear my mind and find out what’s going on inside here. For the first time in years, I have accomplished all of my Gravity Falls related goals. Just to go down the line:

-Published a new chapter every weekday for a month straight in honor of the GF Season 2 Premiere.

-Created a few GF stories based in the first-person perspective. One of them is one of my most popular stories.

-Delivered a DBR2 and DBR3 due to high demand.

-Shaped a two-part Wendy/Dipper story based in the same nature and context of the classic graphic novel, Scott Pilgrim.

-Wrote several extensions to Gravity Falls episodes that I had uneasy feelings about.

-Helped a fellow Tumblr user create a Wendy/Dipper themed full sized Christmas poem in less than 24 hours.

-Tried my hand at a Wendy and Mabel story just to try something different and to see if I could do it.

-Wrote and outlined a 50-page Gravity Falls comic after 3+ years of trying to get it off the ground.

That’s not really a bad resume, not counting all the contributor’s work I’ve done for other Wendip artists/writers or the essays, guides, and projects I helped Wendip-Week design. Even if I still had the energy to keep going, what unexplored territory is there for me to explore?

So what does this mean?

Well, that’s up to you lot, isn’t it?

I would love it if the same fans that enjoyed my stories took up the reigns and show us in the Wendip/GF communities what they could do. Lead the way with new Wendy and Dipper tales! Make it about the past, present, or future! Give us a new way to look at them, or present them in an undiscovered light.

And it doesn’t have to be writing, either. Make a comic. Draw a picture. Heck, do a radio broadcast for all I care. Express your minds, hearts, and soul and create with them just as I have.

(and as a side note; I hope my Deviantart friends take this to heart. The last time I was on the site, the cute/adorable pic/X-rated pic ratio was greatly, greatly one-sided in a bad way)

A lot of people might be asking, “Well, you’re calling it quits. Why shouldn’t we?”

Because if you believe in the messages I put into the stories or the effort we put into Wendip-Week, then aren’t those messages worth spreading? Just because my personal life went to crap in a handbasket, it doesn’t mean the same would happen to anyone else.

A harsh lesson I learned with age is that you can do everything perfectly, or to the best of your abilities, and still fail. The Gravity Falls team loved to instill this over Dipper time and time again.

I want to believe in something better.�� Don’t you?

And who says I’m gone for good? Maybe I’ll find a new form of inspiration and come up with an unique idea that I just can’t keep to myself, Perhaps Gravity Falls will come back in some form and ignite enough of a fire in me to pull a comeback.

But, until then, I plan on taking a long, well-deserved break. After all, I have a ton of missed Wendip Week submissions to catch up on. I promised myself I wouldn’t check them out until my final story is completed. It looks like that day is finally here.

However, it is the holiday season, and for this, I wish to leave you all with three different sources of inspiration. Maybe it’ll help; maybe it won’t.

1. An inspirational letter from none other than my namesake.

2. A key word of advice from one of the only series that could stand up to Gravity Falls’ legacy. It is a message I wish I could have learned sooner.

3. And simply because we NEED more sources of strong females (and something I wish I would have found in time for the Spider-Man essay), here is a tumblr blog dedicated to my favorite Marvel female, who IMHO is as close to an adult Wendy as we’ll get,

I wish you all a happy holiday, and hope that my announcement hasn’t dashed your holiday spirit. I am forever honored by all those I have worked with and by those who took my nonsensical musings and elevated them to something more.

As one of my favorite bands like to close their shows with:

“It's never goodbye, It's just 'till next time."

-ddp456

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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 4 years ago

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favourite male fictional characters

Thank you @vishcount for tagging me, this was a lot of fun! 💞 I originally planned to follow your example and put ten characters here but suddenly it became a lot more oops. also i hope you forgive me for following your format, it’s neat

I am tagging @isabellaofparma , @the-cloud-whisperer and @sassyassassy!

I chose the characters that impacted me deeply on a personal level throughout my life (often shown by how long my love lasts over the years and if i was inspired to write for them).

In no specific order under the cut:

Legolas

The Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien.

I think it’s only fitting I start off with this magnificent guy. Maybe I gotta admit, i’ve just had a crush on him ever since I was like, nine years old? He’s the character I will fight tooth and claw for (though I guess he doesn’t need me to do that). I love Orlando Bloom’s portrayal of him, eventhough he is vastly different from the books. Book Legolas is such a delight as well, he feels so whimsical and playful and his banter with Gimli is just gold. I was sad when The Hobbit trilogy came out and I was so disappointed by how they butchered his character, it just did not feel authentic anymore (maybe I am also just bitter about the forced hetero storyline for him. makes no cents, this elf is GayTM your honour. and he will meet his soulmate Gimli in a few decades). Either way, Legolas is the love of my life, thanks for coming to my tedtalk,

Peter Pan

Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie

Another childhood crush of mine. The gif I chose if from the 2005 movie because we always used to watch it and it is to this day one of my favourite movies. It’s so dreamy, so magical, yet also incredibly sad and sweet. I have this very strange fascination with Peter Pan. There is something incredibly unsettling about him, especially in the book. He represents something every child wants - who doesn’t want to escape their bedroom and fly away to experience magical adventured far from the adult world? And yet he also represents the impossibility of it, the curse he carries around with himself because he will forever stay alone, no matter how many lost boys he gathers around himself. And Wendy - it’s a love that was never meant to grow and mature, it’s a fleeting dream for the both of them. I have seen many different adaptations of Peter Pan and I have my favourites, though I want to give a special mention to the book Peter Darling by Austin Chant. It’s a retelling of the story how we know it, in which Peter returns to Neverland after having finally grown up BUT the main points I want to highlight is trans Peter? Heck yes. Gripping and compelling gay love story with our favourite original lost boy Captain Hook? YES.

Snufkin

Moomins, Tove Jansson.

I have discovered Snufkin for myself only last year, and yet I know he will stay with me forever. In short - I vibe with him, he vibes with me. His anxieties about being with people and longing for solitude? His fear of being loved and being important to someone to a point he doesn’t know what to do with himself? This man just wants to roam freely with his own mind and yet he always returns for something that captures him. Mum, I love him because I have rarely felt this seen before. Also, Snufkin said ACAB.

Prince Jing - Xiao Jingyan

Nirvana in Fire (2015)

This too is a darling I have only discovered recently. I watched Nirvana in Fire this year and let me tell you, it’s the best show I have seen in a long while. It’s absolutely amazing and it also ripped my heart out. All the characters are absolutely amazing and I am still not over it.

To be honest, I contemplated between Xiao JIngyan and Mei Changsu, because character-wise I think the latter is a lot more interesting and compelling. He makes for a fantastic heartbreaking and flawed protagonist.

However I have to admit - it was love at first sight with Prince Jing for me and I’m still lowkey mad abt it rip. Seems like I am not immune to Pretty Prince Propaganda. But apart from that, I adore him for his genuine

goodness,

his almost naive drive to be better and seek justice. He lost everything, and for the longest time did not have anything to fight for. So alone and lost and bitter, it makes me sad how much it hardened him. He is heartbreak and clumsy kindness hidden under a skin of scars that was inflicted by his father and many others. I see his sad cat-eyes and I cry, that’s just how it is.

Edmund Pevensie

The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis

I grew up with these books and movies - they have always been part of my life and it will probably always stay that way (only last night I rewatched the first movie and sobbed). Imagine my surprised when I finally watched the last movie about five years ago and was incredibly impressed by how they adapted the book; also imagine my brain suddenly going CASMUND in bold letters at Skandar Keynes’ and Ben Barnes’ performance in that movie. From there, I rediscovered this story completely anew for myself. My favourite Pevensie sibling has always been Lucy (and still is, because I identify with her so much and she feels like home to me); however this new discovery of Edmund’s character was overwhelming. It’s interesting to see characters you’ve grown up with from a more grown up point of view. I don’t want to lay out all my thoughts here, just know I am so heartbroken for him, and so so proud as well. His character arc is amazing and maybe that’s how the last movie makes me even more emotional. Seeing Edmund and Lucy still holding on to Narnia but knowing that that door was closing for them? Not to mention what happens in the later books (we don’t talk about that). Also did I mention Casmund. Here, have my incredibly emo and depressing take on Edmund’s character that I started writing four years ago and which will forever stay a WIP.

Nie Huaisang

The Untamed (2019)

My son. My soul. My bane of existence. The tragic thing about him is, that he does not really exist in canon as I have created him for myself. He’s a secondary character in the show, always so relatable yet still brings the ultimate twist of the story, yet he still remains this incomplete shadow. The movie

Fatal Journey

gave him a lot more and I cried tears of joy and devastation. I don’t know why I latched on to him so much, but apparently he is the one that I project on, the one that feels like he sits somewhere inside my chest. I don’t know what else to say - this year he has been everything to me. I spend a lot of time in his head while writing, and maybe that’s how he’s there forever now. Nie Huaisang saw my brain and went it’s free real estate. All my love for you, you dramatic art hoe.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ah, another lifelong companion. There are many adapations that I adore - starting from the origin of it all, the books and stories which I have all devoured; the 80s adaptation with Jeremy Brett which was incredibly wonderful; to BBC Sherlock which shaped and traumatised me (I still like the first three seaons but I am too hurt to think about it); to the numerous movies - but by far my most favourite performance is Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes. Somehow he manages to capture the Holmes I see in my head when I read the books, the sharp yet polite eccentric detective, who loves his companion so much and who has desire to help others. Sherlock Holmes will always stay special to me, in so many different ways. He shaped my youth and I know he will stay with me. (also what would you say when I told you he helped me discover that I can, in fact, be queer AND ace at the same time? thanks pal). What else is there to say? Sherlock Holmes is a universe that you can dive into and find many amazing treasures.

Isak Valtersen

SKAM (2015)

There he is, the boy that changed my life. SKAM changed my life. All of the characters did. However, Isak is special for many, as I imagine. I remember winter 2016, when tumblr was flooded by these norwegian white boys kissing in a pool and cuddling and I was like ‘nah’, this doesn’t look convincing. I don’t know what changed my mind but I remember sitting down at last and watching all that was released of season three and it was only downhill from there. I remember starting to follow the real life updates religiously while watching the other previous seasons in between. The one clip that completely wrecked me was when Isak went to the school nurse about his struggles with sleep - it felt like for the first time I saw someone on screen that could understand me on so many different levels. The entierty of seaons three is so personal, I would tell you to go watch it if you don’t know what I mean. The entire show in fact. It’s a masterpiece and it feels so real. This show impacted my life in a way that no show has managed to do before. I miss it so much. I miss Isak too sigh.

Shang Xirui

Winter Begonia (2020)

Technically, for me personally, Shang Xirui is the nonbinary, gay and ace representation I need in my life (or at least that’s my own personal take on him), but since that is not official, he’s still here on this list. Of course he is because wow, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen such a compelling character on screen. I went from disliking him to being absolutely heartbroken over him. I don’t think any other character in this show captured me as much as he did. There are so many layers to him and discovering all of his sides is a wonderful, heartbreaking, painful and also beautiful journey. I’m not sure I understand all of him yet, but I am willing to try and dig and just ponder his existence. This too, is a perfect example for a flawed yet authentic protagonist. Also he is the most beautiful thing on this planet, or at least that’s how I have been feeling ever since I watched this. I wish to write more of him in the future.

Aang

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005)

I grew up watching ATLA and my favourite characters have always been Toph, Zuko and Uncle Iroh. In recent years however, I completely fell in love with Aang all anew.

I think especially in the past, I had these prejudices against main characters and found them all the most boring personalities ever. In recent years this changed a lot and especially Aang is a prime example for that. Watching him from the perspective of older me, I find so much wisdom in this young boy. Somehow he represents all I wish to be in my life but at the same time he shows his flaws, he carries this sadness with him that will accompany him all his life. This inner battle and chaos that he has to face day to day and in the end - he is just a young boy. So much has been taken from him and yet he learns how to not let it overtake him, that anger and hurt. He tries his hardest to be better than the day before, even if sometimes the world crashes down on him and he gets overwhelmed. He is a child recruited by adults to manage their mistakes and play into the hands of predestined fate and in this essay I will -

Harry Potter

Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling

I am surprised myself. I thought I would put Fred and George here, or Remus and Sirius, however I realised that none of them quite capture this feeling of lifelong change, of personal, deep impact that Harry had on me.

As with Aang above, I used to think Harry was the most boring protagonist, yet my opinion took a 180° turn in the past years. Many of the things I wrote for Aang apply to him too - the fact that he was a child, that lost so much, and was always faced with challenges that a child should never have needed to face. Something I want to address is how my favourite book, The Order of the Phoenix, lays all of this out. Harry is just as flawed, just as vulnerable and angry as anyone else. I know some people did not like his ‘emo behaviour’ in the fifth book but for me it just showed how human he is, how he was just a teen like myself at that time. As for many, this boy shaped my entire life, shaped a generation, and I will forever be grateful. I’m sad and angry at how J*R behaves, and how she puts us in the position of doubting our love for these stories. I know I will always love them, but I will not turn a blind eye on all the problematic shit is carries with itself and what the author piles upon us.

Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian

The Untamed (2019)

I will try and keep this short, because if you want to read my thoughts about Wangxian just go to my ao3 and find the over 70k i wrote for them. I decided to put them here together because I can’t seperate them and I can’t choose between them. Each of them carries something I recognise in myself, and each of them is the opposite of me. They each own my heart and soul and I know there will never be a fictional couple like this for me ever again. They’ve snuck their way into my heart and have never left. They deserve to be here, together, because my love for them is indescribable. Bless them. + Bonus:

The Doctor

Doctor Who (1963/2005)

Technically, the Doctor doesn’t count as a “male” character, but since he has been presenting as male up until recently, I needed to include him. I chose the Tenth Doctor because he is the one that broke my heart the most. I adored Nine but he was there too short, and I do love Eleven and Twelve a lot, and Thirteen absolutely owns my heart, Ten has just always been the one that made me cry the most. I loved this era of Doctor Who, I loved how sad and hopeful he was, how heartbroken and yet determined to help wherever it was needed. Doctor Who is always that show, when I return to it, I am reminded that maybe, humanity and the universe isn’t all that bad.

phew, this took ages damn. but i had so much fun! i decided to leave out honorable mentiones because we would be sitting here until tomorrow lol.

#gosh this was nice #a lot of incoherent rambling here #thanks dear #tag game #personal

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furyfought · 4 years ago

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abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway . they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but.

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro.

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff.

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch.

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋." + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts.

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked..

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨.

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster.

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.

#abernathyintro #omg arriving unfashionably late thirty yrs later. >.>#[vine vc] heeey.. . ..#nt rereading this. simply not strong enough. if there r errors then no there aren't<3

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