#Also I get it I have been there where you hear about a news story or something and you're intrigued and want to find out what's going on
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I know that we're so used to having everything handed to us immediately these days but it does drive me crazy how people cannot wait for confirmed reports on serious things- like the information will come eventually but no one can sit and wait until shit is confirmed, so they just start spreading any rumour they see and it's like.... you're not helping. You're only muddying the waters. When it's something serious, it's especially not helpful. What is so difficult about not spreading unconfirmed rumours? what is so difficult about actually waiting to find out specifics? Jumping to action isn't always helpful, sometimes inaction until further notice is better.
#It's like the gamerfication of everything like its all content and you want to make posts and Win at being the first to know#Or the first to decry or support and it's so fuckin weird#Also I get it I have been there where you hear about a news story or something and you're intrigued and want to find out what's going on#Like its human nature I don't fault that but again it's just not helpful to share any/all random people saying any random thing as fact#Also the thing where people will be like X hasn't commented on (insert situation here) so therefore they support it and are bad !!#Like ?????#I wish more people would go i don't know this situation I can't help by sharing baseless reports I will simply wait until we know more#Happened with that Sydney stabbing a little while back and it was very like Well how was saying all this random unconfirmed shit useful
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When I first joined Tumblr, I had no idea what I was walking into. Thereâs no manual for navigating this wild, untamed corner of the internet. My first moment here? I was greeted by an image completely naked, no warning, no explanation. It was just there, bold and unapologetic. Thatâs when I realized: Tumblr is a place where anything can happen.
But for all its chaos, Tumblr has become something far greater than I ever expected. For us Palestinians, this platform isnât just a space to scroll through memes or vent about life. Itâs a lifeline, a place where weâve taken the raw, messy energy of this site and turned it into a battleground for survival. Here, we tell our stories, raise funds, and fight for our lives.
Iâve seen campaigns soar past their goals, bringing hope to families barely holding on. But Iâve also seen campaigns like mine, ones that fight tooth and nail for every single dollar, every reblog, every addition, and every ounce of hope. My familyâs lives depend on this.
It hasnât been easy. Zionists flood all Palestinian words with hate, twisting truths and spreading lies. They aim to discredit us, to make people doubt us. Itâs exhausting. Some nights, I sit with my phone in my hands, wondering if this fight is too big for me. But then something beautiful happens: a donation comes through, a kind message appears, or someone Iâve never met reblogs my story with words that feel like a warm embrace.
And through it all, people are starting to see the truth. The hate doesnât drown us; it sharpens our voices. Every day, more people step forward to stand with us, to say, âI see you, I hear you, and Iâm with you.â Itâs those moments that keep me going.
To everyone who has already helped, whether through verification, donating, wrting post , reblogging, or simply sharing a kind word: thank you. Youâve done more for my family than I could ever put into words. But the reality is, weâre not there yet. My family is still waiting for a chance to breathe, to live without fear, to fill their empty stomachs with warm food, and to wrap themselves in clothes thick enough to keep out the bitter cold. Theyâre hungry, theyâre freezing, and I canât do this alone.
This fight is hard, but itâs not hopeless. Strangers have become friends, and friends have become family. Some of you have shown up in ways I never imagined, treating my familyâs survival as if it were your own. That kind of solidarity? Itâs powerful.
Tumblr might be chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes downright bizarre, but itâs also the place where weâve built something extraordinary: a community that refuses to look away from injustice. With your help, we can take this fight all the way. My familyâs lives are within reach, and together, I know weâll get there.
This campaign isnât just about me. It supports 26 people, including two orphaned children and an injured family member suffering from hemiplegia after being hit by shrapnel during a bombing. Surgery is desperately needed to replace the infected and failing plates. The needs are urgent, and the future of 26 lives depends on your support.
The video showing the injured family member is shared before in this post: Link.
Please help us ! Donate and reblog this post to spread our story.
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
If, for some reason, you couldn't donate via GoFundMe, you can donate via PayPal instead. Please keep the conversion rates in mind when donating through GoFundMe. Every 100 SEK is equivalent to 10 dollars, and 200 SEK equals 20 dollars and so on.
Note: Thereâs even a raffle for a handmade Palestinian thob if you want to participate : Link
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I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.
If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.
They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.
My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.
I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?
My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.
So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.
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đđđđđđđđ đđ
đđđđđđđđ

- zayne x reader
he is your husband and you are his wife. but of course you know the bitter truthâyou will never be able to replace her.
genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive contentâminors do not interact!âangst, hurt/comfort, unrequited love, drunken sex, mentions of injury, blood, hunter!reader (not l&ds mc -> l&ds mc is zayne's late ex-girlfriend here), spoilers! from zayneâs bond story nostalgic sweetness
note: wc. 8k ! i've been having these bits and pieces scenarios for zayne in mind and then i thought what if i combined it all into one angst joyride? :)) tagging per request: @kissxcore @rjreins @i2s2m @tom-pls-fuck-me @yueyoonie @sanriosatoru
07.15 p.m
Zayne would be getting off work soon. He had just finished an emergency surgery, and it had been exhausting. Now it was quite late.
��Dr. Zayne! Great job today!â Greyson exclaimed, suddenly strolling into his consultation room with a grin. âWant to grab dinner with us?â
Honestly, he was starving too. âWhere?â
âOh, you know, that new place that just opened nearby! They have the tastiest tiramisu, or so Iâve heard. Câmon, weâre inviting the nurses too!â
He knew he needed to head home soon, but fatigue and hunger blurred his thoughts at the mention of dessert.
âAlright.â
. . .
08.25 p.m
Getting together with the hospital staff was always nice. They were rowdy, but it was definitely a great way to unwind after a hard day.
The tiramisu was as great as Greyson said. Speaking of his assistant, he and Yvonne were having a blast. Other doctors were getting drunk. Zayne could only shake his head, and it suddenly dawned on him that he had been here quite a while.
It was only when he turned on his phone and saw the time that he realized, with sinking heart thatâ
He was supposed to meet you at six.
If you were asked how you felt about your life now, youâd be hard-pressed to say you were completely content.
You were a stellar fighter in the Hunter Association, more than content with your job, and you had a good husband. To some, you had what they would call the perfect life.
The wife of the Dr. Zayne. True, it was a flattering title, yet unbeknownst to everyone, also a humbling one.
And the notion struck you once again when your husband of almost two years stood you up on your dinner date without so much as a notice.
âMiss... weâre about to close now...â The waitress approached your table for at least the third time, and you nodded sheepishly, finally finishing your meal.
You paid for it and left the restaurant. The chilly night air hit your skin, giving you goosebumps as you walked home. It wasnât the first time this had happened. Granted, Zayne had a packed schedule, and you figured he might've had an urgent matter to attend to that he forgot to let you know.
Still... it hurts. Knowing you were not a priority in your husbandâs eyes wasnât a fun feeling.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket the moment you arrived at your shared home. Your husbandâs name flashed on your screen. The time now was 08.40 p.m.
âHello, Zayne?â
âY/N?â Your husbandâs voice sounded frantic. âAre you still at the restaurant? Iâm goingââ
âAh, no need to. Iâm going home.â
âIâll pick you up then. Stay thereââ
âIâve already arrived.â
An awkward silence settled between you, and you could clearly hear the noise on the other end. Greysonâs laughter was unmistakable.
You forced a laugh, still trying to sound cheerful for him even when realizing that he had completely forgotten about you. âItâs totally fine, Zayne! Are you heading back?â
âYeah...â
âTake care then. See you at home.â
You ended the call with a sigh, trying to shake off the sting in your heart. As you made your way upstairs to your bedroom, you passed by a large portrait on the wall, and a bittersweet sensation washed over you.
Your wedding photo. Both of you were smiling on what was the most wonderful day of your life. Zayneâs smile was reserved, but yours was radiant.
It is the most wonderful thing that has happened to you... but is it the same for him?
At that time, despite everything, you were convinced a lifetime of happiness awaited you, yet now... it got harder to fool yourself into believing it.
Your marriage has always been lukewarm.
Zayne wasnât an overly excited person, and you were his oppositeâbut try as you might, some things between you just didnât work out. As a result, both of you tended to keep certain things to yourselves.
Most days, this didn't bother him. He valued his privacy, so the way things were suited him just fine. However, several days later, when Greyson approached him with a worried expression and a news, even Zayne had to draw the line.
âDr. Zayne? Uh, how do I say this? I think I saw your wife being wheeled in earlier with the injured from the hunt zones raidâŚâ
. . .
âYour husband is a doctor here. Why arenât you calling him?â
Xavier, your fellow Deepspace Hunter who was partnered with you in this mission, questioned you with a hint of annoyance as he observed your pathetic state on the stretcher and crossed his arms. âWhy do you have to bleed out in ER when you can get him?â
You winced, pressing the bloodied cloth against your stinging abdomen as you felt yourself growing faint. âHeâs... a surgeon,â you panted. âHeâs busy.â
Above all, you didnât want Zayne to see you like this. You could already imagine his angry face, and that mental image alone made you recoil.
âWhat sort of husband is busy when his wife is injured?â Xavier raised an eyebrow. âDid you at least notify him?â
You shut your eyes, feeling a migraine coming.
âI will then.â
âNo.â
âY/N, youââ
âShut up, Xavierââ
The curtain was suddenly pulled back, and you braced yourself for whoever had come to check on you next. To your surprise, the cloth in your hand was snatched away, and you felt your uniform being torn open with urgency.
When you opened your eyes, you barely made out your husbandâs figure through your hazy vision. ââŚZayne?â
His expression was stern, unforgiving even, as he started to disinfect your wound. Despite the tension, you couldn't deny the relief that washed over you. You knew you were in good hands, even if you had to face his fury later on.
Your consciousness slipped away not long after that.
. . .
The next time you woke up, you found yourself in a private room, with a nagging itch where you had been injured.
You groaned, your limbs stiff and heavy, and the room slowly came into focusâalong with your husband's face.
"Zayne?" Your voice came out barely above a whisper. He stood pristine in his white coat and glasses, assessing you with a scrutinizing gaze.
"Your wound is, thankfully, shallow," he said flatly, his tone lacking any real concern. "You'll be discharged tonight. I'll take you home as soon as my shift is over."
"Ah..." You blinked several times to clear your head. "Good then. Sorry for showing up out of nowhere. Xavier and I were on a rescue mission, and I accidentallyâ"
He walked away before you could finish, the abruptness snapping you fully awake. He was furious, that much was clear.
"Ha ha..." You forced a laugh, fiddling with your fingers, trying to ease the awkward tension between you. "It doesn't hurt much, actually. You're rightâI'm fine..."
Zayne shot you a sharp glance. "You passed out due to blood loss."
"This isn't the first time it has happened and nor will it beâ"
"And it didn't even occur to you to inform me at all. I found out that my own wife was wounded because Greyson passed by the ER and saw you."
His words left you silent, caught red-handed, but your annoyance was reaching its limit. You had imagined how nice it would be if he panicked about you, showering you with care when he found out. But instead, Zayne chose to rebuke you the moment you woke up.
âIâm not a child,â you reasoned, keeping yourself calm. âIâm a hunter. This is nothing new, and you should understand that.â
âThe least you couldâve done is to tell meââ
âDo you know why I didnât? Itâs because I know how youâll react!â
ââand it would do you better to prioritize your safety and not rush headfirst into danger.â
âBelieve me, I do butâ!â
Suddenly, Zayne spun around to face you, his eyes blazing with fury as he raised his voice. âIâve told you so many times already, you have to stay back, or youâll end upâ!â
He stopped abruptly, leaving his sentence hanging in the air, but right at that moment, you knew all too well who he meant, and what the implication was.
His, without a doubt, greatest love. His childhood friend, a hunter like yourself, someone he had vowed to save but succumbed to her illness before he could do so, died on arrival.
The irony was sharp. You had become everything she once was. You knew her well, too. When she passed, the entire Hunter Association mourned her loss. And more than that, on the night she died, you had been with him.
Looking back, you should have seen it coming. Still, it hit you like a splash of cold water. Your husband was still preoccupied with thoughts of his ex-girlfriend, and worse yet, he saw pieces of her in you.
And you suspected he had for a whileâperhaps even, from the very beginning.
For a second there, not for the first time, you felt your heart shatter.
âI donât have Protocore syndrome,â you stated, steeling yourself against the heartbreak. âMy heart won't suddenly fail because I get injured. Iâm not that weak.â
You turned away as Zayne refused to respond, missing his look of disdain as he stormed out of the room.
That was when your first tear fell.
Right from the start, you knew you had to brace yourself for this. You knew that eventually, this tragedy would overshadow your marriage. Because while Zayne might be your husband by law, deep down, his heart still belonged to someone else.
To her.
You two are too much alike.
It wasnât the first time he had noticed it. And it wouldnât be the last.
On bad mornings, when his eyes were bleary and he hadn't had a good sleep, he would see her instead of you in your shared bed. And with that mistaken sight came a fleeting sense of relief... until his vision cleared and he remembered she was truly gone and it was you.
Zayne knew how wrong this was on so many levels. It was terribly unfair to you.
Still, his concern for you was genuine. Seeing you lying still on the stretcher brought back that very same nightmare, and really, he truly never wanted you to be hurt.
After his outburst and your clipped response, the two of you barely exchanged any words for the rest of the week. To make matters worse, he was sent on a business trip the following week, and all in all, you went two weeks hardly speaking to each other.
And before he knew it, her death anniversary was only a couple of days away.
. . .
"How much is this?"
"Ah, the bow is 50,000 Gold, sir!"
Inside the airport's souvenir shop, Zayne examined the intricate light blue and white bow clip. Made of tweed and adorned with small pearls, it looked nice.
He thought it'd suit you well.
"I'll get this then."
"Right away!"
As the clerk went to wrap the trinket, Zayne reflected on these past two weeks. A nagging feeling twisted in his gut as he thought about how curt he had been with you in text messages and how often you had left him on read.
Husband and wife shouldn't be this way. He wanted the unbearable air between you to end. Determined to resolve things, he planned to talk to you when he returned. He was on his way to the airport taxi whenâ
"Zayne!" He stopped in his tracks, recognizing the familiar voice, and turned around.
There you were, waiting by his car with a smile.
It was never in you to stay angry for long. It was a blessing and a curse, really, because while you no longer wished to give your husband silent treatment, a part of you still felt conflicted.
"How was your trip?" you asked as you started the engine, pushing the events of the past two weeks to the back of your mind.
Zayne didn't immediately answer, and you felt his gaze on you as you drove the car. "It was okay."
You hummed in acknowledgement, and he followed up with, "How is your wound? Do you dress it daily?"
"Mm-hm. It's getting better."
"I'll have a look at it later."
"Sure."
Silence. Usually you would ramble to distract him, but now, even you werenât sure if you should.
Then, he said, "You really didnât have to pick me up. I could have made my way home on my own."
To that, you pasted on a smile. âYou always pick me up whenever I have to go on business trips. Itâs only fair I do the same for you, husband.â
Ah. Was it the wrong move? The word had slipped out so easily that you didnât realize it until after you said it.
But to your surprise, Zayne let out a chuckle and played along. "Well, thank you then, wife. It certainly felt quite off without a certain someone the past week."
So, he actually likes having you around...? The thought made you almost giddy. Despite his usual taciturn and sarcastic demeanor, you knew he was genuine in his own way.
"Bet you missed me," you teased, grinning.
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Are you sure it's not the other way around?"
"Nope. But I did miss getting new snowmen."
"...why do you like them so much? I've made plenty for you already."
"No particular reason. Snowman just kinda reminds me of you somehow."
The tension between you had melted away, and you felt a sense of relief. Beside you, even Zayne couldnât hide his smile. For the rest of the drive home, you chatted like you used to.
When you arrived back at your shared home, he suddenly stopped and presented you with a little box. "I got you something."
"Huh?" you paused, bewildered, as he took your hand and placed the box in it.
"Open it."
With curiosity, you lifted the lid, and were surprised at the sight of a pretty bow clip inside. "Whoa, how cute..."
Zayne eyed you expectantly. "Do you like it?"
Your eyes lit up with delight, and a smile spread across your lips.
"Yes!" you beamed at him with zero hesitation, and in that moment, something struck a chord within him. Zayne had always thought you were easy on the eyesâ
âbut when you smiled like that, you were truly charming.
"It's healing nicely."
You felt somewhat self-conscious as your husband examined your bare abdomen, where your injury was, as you lied on your bed. His hands, cool and practiced, tenderly removed your stitches.
It wasn't as if Zayne had never touched you. You two had been married for almost two years, and of course you had been intimate several times, but it wasn't as if you were a passionate couple to begin withâso you often found yourself flustered.
"Mm." Despite yourself, you squirmed. Noticing this, he looked up at you, his unfazed eyes meeting yours with a frown.
"Does it still hurt?"
"No, not really... It just feels as if you're tickling me."
He was positively unamused. "I'm not trying to tickle you."
"I know!"
Zayne wrapped your midsection securely with the bandage. When he was done, he let out a sigh and you felt like you had to show him your gratitude somehow.
âThank you, ZayneâŚâ you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. But in the next second, your heart skipped a beat as his hand rested gently on your head.
"You can thank me by being more careful next time." Your husband looked at you with the smallest of smile. "Your safety comes first, always remember that."
Without either of you realizing it, you both had tried to bury that argument from two weeks ago, yet it was still gnawing at you all the same. The thought that he too was bothered with it made you warm.
"Noted," you cheekily grinned. "If I'm not safe and sound, a certain iceman will get angry at me."
Zayne shot you an unimpressed look. âIf you come to me injured again, Iâll start charging you fees.â
You let out a dramatic gasp. "How stingy! I'm your wife, not just some stranger!"
"A very uncooperative wife, you are."
You huffed, and he chuckled. You really thought all was well between you two now, until Zayne suddenly stood up and grabbed the car keys. âWell then, rest. I have to go.â
âWhere are you going?â
âIâm going to stop by the floristââ
And it hit you. In two days. The day everything ended three years ago.
Zayne seemed to realize it too, but you quickly masked your falling smile with a faux one. "O-oh, right..."
No matter how, it's still going to be an important day to him. You had nothing against it, really. Your husband's late girlfriend had once been your colleague too, and you mourned her just like everyone else did.
Still, even with that understanding, in your heart of hearts, it remains just as bitter.
You didn't want to, but you needed to find closure. You hoped that by doing this, it would finally put an end to all your insecurities.
"Let's go together, Zayne. I want to pay her a visit too."
Two days later, you and Zayne, a bouquet of flowers in hand, stood before the grave bearing many colorful flowers and postcards.
You supposed you knew already, but seeing it firsthand, you realized just how deeply she was loved still. The outpouring of respect from the Hunter Association was evident in the tribute left behind.
"It's been a while," Zayne, dressed in his most formal black suit, said solemnly, his gaze fixed on the name etched into the pristine stone.
You watched as he knelt to place his flowers and then brought his hands together in prayer. You followed his lead, placing your own bouquet beside his.
What should you even say to her? Your mind raced with countless thoughts, but none felt right to voice before the woman who had so deeply captured your husband's heart.
In the end, when you sensed that Zayne had finished with his prayer, you decided to remain silent and rose with him.
. . .
âDoes it get easier?â you asked out of curiosity afterwards. âThree years has passed already.â
Although Zayne wasnât one for drinking, even the need won today. He didnât meet your eyes as he sipped his wine, humming thoughtfully. âSomewhat. As they say, time heals.â
You two stopped by a fine restaurant after visiting the grave. The cemetery had been a two-hour drive from Linkon City, and now it was already evening.
âShe loved jasmines,â you remarked, recalling the pot of them you once saw on her desk and the flowers overflowing at the grave earlier.
âShe did.â The alcohol seemed to loosen his tongue as he continued, âShe loved old popsicles and macarons too.â
âAnd you like them as well.â
âTo be honest, I started liking them back when we were kidsâŚâ Zayne had this pained, faraway look in his eyes as he had another sip. âShe cried over her melted popsicle and it got me to wonder if it was really that tasty...â
The idea that you had to compete with a dead woman for your husbandâs affection left a bitter taste in your mouth. You felt like you had failed thoroughly as a wife.
Despite hating yourself for asking, you needed to know. âDo I help you⌠in any way at all?â
Zayne was clearly taken aback by the question. His sharp, gray eyes locked onto you, mind whirred as he tried to grasp your meaning.
âY/N, you...â
It was foolish, you knew. But you waited with bated breath for his response, even when one wrong word could shatter your heart beyond repair. You were ready for any sort of unfavorable answer, but thenâ
âI... am glad it is you.â
His words made you look up, and you found yourself caught in his gaze. Zayneâs ashen eyes were steady, piercing into you.
âYou were there on the hardest days. And ever since, youâve always stayed by my side.â He held your gaze firmly, voice was thick with emotion you couldnât quite name. âIâm grateful for that.â
And then, with a sincerity that pierced through every uncertainty, he added, âWhat I want to say is... Iâm glad I married you, Y/N.â
You have loved him for so long. Since the days when you know he isnât yours to love, until now.
Your heart swelled with so much warmth that tears brimmed in your eyes. His acknowledgment of your presence filled you with a profound sense of belonging you never knew you needed before.
Was it the alcohol?
You suspected it might be, because in nearly two years of marriage, Zayne had never lost his control like this. As soon as the bedroom door was shut, he pushed you against the wall and devoured your lips hungrily.
âMmph!â His hands gripped your arms while his lips and tongue pried yours open. The kiss was searing, almost forceful, with the faint bitterness of wine still lingering.
âZayâŚneâŚâ you gasped between his kissesâteary, breathless, your voice trembling.
But your breathy grunts only seemed to spur him on. His dark eyes, clouded with lust, fixed on you as his hands slipped beneath your blouse, deftly unclasping your bra with a flick.
He is hot. Your husband was everything a woman desired in a man. Cool, handsome, blessed with hands that could do wondersâ
In no time, he had you naked and wet before him, and with alarming speed, he too discarded his own suit and pants, throwing them away in flurry. And you could hardly believe what you were seeing next.
He spitted on his hand, ran it along his memberâstroking himself with a practiced ease, never breaking eye contact with you. The next thing you knew, he yanked you into another burning kiss and made you topple on top of himâ
âAh!â his hands guided your hips with precision, positioning you and entering you. The instant he did, you whimpered at the sudden, sharp sting of pain.
âDoes it hurt?â he asked almost in a growl when you clung to his shoulder with uneven breaths.
It was too sudden, and you hoped the discomfort would pass, so you timidly shook your head.
âIf you donât want this, tell me to stop.â Zayne tangled his fingers in your hair, turning your face to his. âUnderstand?â
There was always a distinct, almost commanding aura about him whenever the two of you were in your marital bed. Perhaps the way his voice sound lower, but it just hit different.
And you are a willing prey... whenever he becomes that beast.
He inched inside you slowly, making you moan with each instance. He was thick, warm, and taking him in was a challenge in itself. And when he finally sheathed himself fully, your nails had made its first scratch on his skin.
You felt full, and the way your womanhood stretched and clenched around him with each breathe you took made you dizzy. Panting, you finally met his gaze. Zayneâs gray-hazel eyes were still clouded with desire as he placed his hands firmly on your hips. Unable to resist, you reached out to caress his face.
"Hmm..." he subconsciously leaned into your touch, pressing his eyes shut together. "You smell nice," he huskily muttered.
Right this moment, all negative thoughts eluded you. It felt gratifying that your husband sought your touch like this as you towered over him.
And yet, despite that...
âDo you... finally see me now?â you asked, trailing your other hand down his toned chest and starting to grind against him. Zayne drew in a sharp breath and groaned, his fingers gripping your bum tighter.
Depending on his response, you would either find peace or face another heartbreak. You had placed your happiness on this pedestal more times than you could count, and it was a cross you had to bear.
But you never received your answer.
Your husband merely gazed up at you with a dangerous gleam. And oh, you could've sworn, this sight of Zayne eyeing you as if he were about to ruin you right then and there, would live-free in your mind for many days to come.
He then buried his face in your bosom, sucking on you with such fervor that your hands instinctively reached for his head to massage his scalp. The room was soon filled with your erotic groans and the squelching sounds from where your flesh were joined togetherâ as he thrusted inside you over and over.
Right in this moment, you felt truly desired and wanted.
You are so happy. Incomparably so.
At the crack of dawn, Zayne woke with a start.
The first thing he noticed was how spent he felt, his limbs stiff and a throbbing headache pulsing at the back of his head.
Then he turned to his side, and the sight that met him twisted his gut in such a way that snapped him fully awakeâ
You were beside him, barely dressed and still deeply asleep. Your hair was a mess, and love bites were scattered across your skin, some on your chest looking almost like bruises.
It dawned on him that he, too, wasnât decent. A sudden coldness gripped him, though it wasnât just the morning air.
Him and you... last night...
Yesterday marked the third year. He meant everything he said to you, but the fact that he did this, with you, on the day of her death...
There was... nothing wrong with what he had done. You were his wife, no one could condone him for what he instigated. Yet, it still made him shiver.
And to make it worse, his thoughts from last night echoed back with vengeance, andâ
He suddenly feels so immensely guilty.
. . .
It was the best sleep youâd had all week.
When you woke, sunlight had seeped through the window, and you discovered yourself already in pajamas, tucked snugly under a blanket. Still groggy with a dull ache in your lower belly, you relished the lingering afterglow, sighing in pure contentment, until you noticed Zayne wasnât beside you.
Where did he go? You wondered amidst your haze. Sluggish, you stumbled out of the bed, flinching when your foot met the cold floor.
You eventually found him downstairs, sipping coffee at the dining table still with messy hair. "Zayne?"
He glanced up at you and nodded. There was something different about him, a subtle shift you couldnât quite place. As you took a seat across from him, you hesitated, unsure of what to say.
Before you could find the right words though, he spoke first.
"I'm... sorry," he said, his tone laced with regret, causing a sharp pang of unease inside you.
"What?" you stared at him, feeling small and unsettled. "What are you sorry for?" you questioned as you gripped the hem of your shirt.
And then came the killing blowâ
"Last night," Zayne muttered, avoiding your gaze. "I wasnât in the right frame of mind. It was a mistake."
Mistake. The word echoed in your mind, but it was still hard to grasp its full weight.
"How was thatâ" you faltered, trembling, as the realization hit you like a truck and you gasped in disbelief. "Oh..."
Her. Again, and again, and again! Even when he was married to you, even when you were the one next to him each and everydayâ even so!
Your husband considers that a night spent with youâhis wifeâa mistake!
The last of your patience snapped, as you broke down in sobs before him. "You're the worst!" you screamed at him amidst your mournful tears.
Zayne seemed taken aback at your outburst, his eyes wide. "Y/N, wait, you don'tâ"
"Screw you!" But you were beyond explanations at this point. You fled back to your bedroom. Zayne followed you suit, but you slammed the door in his face and locked it. As you collapsed onto the floor, the realization hit you with full force.
No matter what you did, you would always come secondâor not at all.
The fracture in your marriage was undeniable.
Things had changed. Your home felt colder, and the tension was so stifling that you sometimes spent the night at the Hunter Associationâs dorm just to escape it.
Zayne initially tried to reach out, but you were unwilling to listen, and eventually, he gave up. Before long, nearly a month had passed with this strain in the air.
You threw yourself into more rescue operations, using work as a distraction from the turmoil that lingered in your mind. Despite your best efforts to distract yourself, the unresolved thoughts and feelings clung to you.
"Xavier, am I lacking as a woman?"
Your frequent partner these days cracked open an eye despite his attempt to nap before todayâs rescue mission. "What...?"
"No, forget it."
Things couldn't go like this forever. It was obvious by nowâas long as he couldnât let go of his past and you couldnât accept him as he was, this marriage couldn't be saved.
Just as you headed towards the printer in the room, Xavier responded. "You talk a lot, eat a lot, and always bothering me when I'm about to sleep..."
You shot him an irked glance, disbelief evident on your face. "Hey!"
"Butâ" his clear voice cut through the air as he turned to you with half-lidded eyes. "You're exceptionally kind. If anyone can't appreciate that, then it's their loss."
At that moment, the ice inside your chest melted. To know that your own co-worker thought that kindly of you gave you a little boost of confidence.
But then Xavier added, "Sometimes you're stupid too. It's funny to watch."
"â?! You're so mean!"
A subtle smile curved on his lips as he turned to his side, ready to resume his nap. "Anyway, what are you printing?"
You feigned a huff as you gathered the papers and brought them to your desk. "Just something I need to submit when necessary."
A part of you wasnât fully committed to it, of courseâit was just that your emotions had no proper outlet even until now. As you pushed the drawer shut, a wave of bitterness washed over you as you reread the title on the blank form:
Petition for Divorce.
Zayne genuinely wanted to treat you well.
You were a nice girl. Too nice even. From the moment he laid his eyes on you some years ago, as a friend of a friend, he knew you were nothing but kind and cheery.
He still remembered that morning vividly: the hurt on your face, the tears welling up in your eyes, and then you breaking into inconsolable sobs. That sight inflicted something in himâit felt as though his own heart had been split in two.
Believe it or not, he cherished you too.
That night, even though he didnât show it, he was still mourning her. When alcohol took over his mind and he saw you, you seemed like a perfect escape. He thought that even if he forced himself on you, there would be no consequences.
He hated that he had thought that way. He hated that how, in the end, you had become a means of relief for him.
Now you couldn't even look him in the eye, and Zayne didn't want to risk trying to coax you further. You were angry with him and rightly so, but when you ignored him and went home late more often, he was worried.
It was what drove him to volunteer for the rescue mission. When he saw your name on the hunter list, he felt compelled to make sure you were okay.
. . .
It was strange to see you on duty.
With your hunter uniform and your hair tied up, you were the picture of a very capable hunter. Zayne found himself unexpectedly following your movements as you came and went.
"Dr. Zayne, are you checking your wife out?" the EMT next to him teased with a grin. "Well, when you have a pretty wife such as Y/N, of course..."
He cleared his throat and the EMT giggled as he sauntered away.
So, you were also considered attractive here. Of course you were. Zayne knew it, but he just didn't expect that anyone here would blurt it out so openly.
But that wasn't the most surprising of allâ
"Xavier, shush!" you playfully punched the blonde man next to you in the chest, your broad smile lighting up the moment. The two of you whispered closely, and Zayne found himself feeling uncomfortable, like being prickled by several needles.
He has never made you laugh so openly like that. The nagging feeling inside him grew stronger as he watched youâeven if it was just in a platonic senseâwith another man. It stirred something within him, making him want to pull that blonde aside, give him a word or two, and overthrow him altogether.
Amidst the growing storm inside him, you suddenly turned sideways and caught his eye, and Zayne could've sworn... he felt time stopped at that moment.
It was so candid that it took his breath away. The way your earnest, unclouded eyes met his. How natural you were while loading your gun...
Ah, they were right. His wife was exceptionally pretty.
But before he could fully appreciate it, you broke the eye contact and turned away, pretending as if you hadnât seen him at all.
Zayne wondered then, why did he feel so hurt all of a sudden?
Battlefields were always a place of chaos, and Zayne was no stranger to it.
He was on standby at the makeshift hospital as patients surged in, continuously aiding first-aid. Some were hunters on duty, and his heart was in his throat the entire time, anxiously hoping you wouldnât be among them.
"Doc... it still hurts," a little girl sniffled right after Zayne wrapped her injured arm with the gauze. Despite the anxiety, seeing this tearful girl softened his frown.
"It's just going to take a while, hmm?" he patted the kid in the head. "It's going to be better soon enough."
"My mom is still inside..." she said, her eyes welling up with tears. "Doc, will they get her out?"
Zayne hesitated, his thoughts briefly drifting to you. He managed a reassuring smile. "Donât worry, theyâllâ"
Crash! âall of a sudden, a loud explosion shook the hospital, the sound echoing through the chaos. The little girl clung to his coat in fear.
"Call for retreat!" someone suddenly shouted from outside. "Alert all personnel immediately!"
Retreat. The thought that you might be safe soon brought him a sense of relief. He turned to the girl, trying to keep his composure.
"Look, the hunters are retreating, it means most are already evacuated." Zayne managed a reassuring smile. "Stay here. I'll help you find her later, okay?"
He went to the survivors' camp outside, attending to the wounded and keeping a vigilant eye on each returning hunter. Even until 30 minutes later, he still hadn't seen you. Thinking to contact you, he reached out for his phone.
"Who hasn't gotten out?" Jenna, your team leader, demanded the receiver with a stern voice, standing tall several feet away from the camp, and Zayne overheard the snippets of her conversation.
A frantic voice responded, "Xavier is still inside! Y/N too!"
"Those two! They are alwaysâ!"
What?
Zayne almost dropped his phone when he heard your name. Terror gripped him instantly, and then suddenly, again, it was his greatest nightmare realized.
You are still inside. You could be hurt. It was possible you had no means to get out of there.
He didnât register letting go of his coat or crossing the police lineâall that mattered was getting to you. He sprinted away, ignoring the shouts of those trying to stop him.
No. Not again!
Debris flew everywhere, and the roars of Wanderers grew louder as he neared the building wreckage. As a splinter was about to hit him, ice shot through his palms, creating a barrier that shattered it.
"Y/N!" he shouted your name, his voice cracking with panic. "Where are you?!"
All he could think about was the memory of you bleeding out in the ER. Zayne never wanted to see that again. Should anything happen to you now...
He didn't want you to be hurt. He hated seeing you cry. For the past weeks, it had torn him apart to see you so unhappy. He wanted to be the one who made you smile, the one you looked at with love.
The realization washed over him like a tidal wave. Yet it wasnât an epiphany but a simple truth he had always known but never fully grasped until now.
If he lost you now, it'd destroy him.
He continued screaming your name over and over. And then, after turning several turns, he finally saw you, standing alone in the middle of the wreckageâ
You turned to him in surprise when you heard your name in his shout, and were rooted to the spot, in disbelief that your husband was right before you.
Zayne felt a wave of relief wash over him, until a hollow croak from above caught his attention. He squintedâ
A glass panel had crumbled and was falling directly towards you.
A sense of dread so great overwhelmed him, a lump formed in his throat, and the smoke made it hard to breathe. He sprinted forward, and with everything he had, he pushed you out the way.
The next thing he knew, everything went pitch black.
"Zayne? Zayne!"
A memory flashed in his mind's eye. The one memory he wished he didn't have to relive ever again.
Sitting on the deserted hospital bench, his eyes were vacant. Utter hollowness choked him, leaving him motionless. It was over. There was no blood on his hands, yet it felt as if there were.
Your grip on his shoulder was tight, shaking him. "Zayne, snap out of it!" and only then he brought himself to meet your eyes.
"She died." That was the only thing he could mutter, pain woven in each word. "She really died."
Your eyes widened in horror, an inaudible gasp left your lips. "Oh..."
He didn't really know what happened next, but he remembered the warmth from when you pulled him to your arms, when sobs wracked his body as he thought the world was ending.
Since then, you have always been there.
And subconsciously, he may have regarded you as his lifeline.
. . .
Another memory.
"Are you awake...?"
His mind was hazy, but he recognized your voice. He blearily opened his eyes to find you placing a cool compress on his forehead.
"Who would have thought the great Dr. Zayne can get a fever?" you said with a soft laugh, patting his hair. "Donât worry about me. Go back to sleep."
You came to see him. He remembered telling you not to. But you still did, and the fact thawed the ice in his heart.
Just as you were about to leave, his hand reached out and pulled you closer. "Donât go."
"Are you trying to make me catch your cold too?" you teased with a soft laugh.
"Hmph. Who told you to come here...?"
"Ah, so you're whiny when you're not feeling well," you observed with a smile. "Okay, I'll stay! But only if you agree to nurse me if I catch your cold!"
You were noisy, but endearingly so.
. . .
"Don't pay her any mind," you fidgeted on your seat, a frown on your face. "My mom always does that."
There was never any talk about the nature your relationship between the two of you, but it was clear to everyone nevertheless. You were always around him, and he seemed to enjoy your company just as much.
And not for the first time, your mother pushed him towards marriage with you.
"People are always getting the wrong idea," you grumbled. "Sorry, Zayne..." you lowered your head, seemingly in regret.
He was puzzled, because to him, it wasn't necessarily false. All things you did together lead to this.
"What if it isn't a wrong idea at all?"
You looked at him with slight surprise. "Huh...?"
Your presence was a gift. That tragedy was devastating, but having you constantly by his side made it bearable. He was fond of you, and the thought that if it's you, then surely...
In this memory, he was more sure than ever. What he said then, it came from the truest place in his heart.
"What if I told you... as of right now, I can't imagine being with anyone but you?"
The side of his head was throbbing with pain. Everything hurt, the hard asphalt was bruising his face as the headache set in. He could smell the scent of blood and sweat, but more than thatâ
"Zayne! Ah, hahâ Please, please! No!"
Your voice, choked with tears, blared in his ears as you desperately shook him. You sounded so heartbroken, so utterly panicked, and your voice gradually pulled him back to consciousness.
Opening his eyes took tremendous effort. At first, everything was a blur, but then it came into focusâthe sight of you disheveled, smeared with soot, with tears streaming down your face. But still youâ the woman he had married two years ago.
Yet his heart lurched. You're crying again... why is it that whenever with me, you're always crying?
"Are you... alright?" he rasped, lifting his hand to touch your face.
"Why did youâ" You were startled by his question, your gaze fixed on the blood pooling on the side of his face. "Your head is bleeding!"
Ah, so you're fine. The sheer knowledge brought him relief, a faint smile forming at his lips. "I'm glad..."
"I'll help you get back! Hold onto meâ" you said after brushing away your tears, lifting him up and draping his arm around your shoulder. "Can you walk?"
"I'm... fine..."
"You're not!" you refuted harshly, voice trembling. "You have to go back!"
You made him lean on you as you made your way back to the makeshift hospital, each step accompanied by your sniffles as you supported his waist.
Zayne glanced at you, feeling a warmth in his chest despite the migraine. "D-Don't cry... I'll be fine."
"You're an idiot!" you choked out, struggling to hold back your tears. "Why did you even come out here?"
"I... have to find you. They said you haven't returned."
"There are still civilians inside! I'll return eventually!"
"I canât wait for that. I... have to know you're safe."
His response only fueled your frustration. "You don't have toâ!"
"You are my wifeâ" he snapped, turning to you sharply, his eyes flashing with anger. "How can I not worryâ for you?"
The forceful tone in his voice went straight to the most tender part of your heart. It really struck you at that moment that he had come out here for you, that his concern for you was that profound.
And that after all these weeks, he still keeps you in his thoughts.
He had pushed you out of the way, even at the cost of himself, barely missing the fallen billboard in that violent crash. If he was in the wrong position, he could've lost his life.
You stared at him, tears glossing your eyes.
"That's enough... Don't cry again." Zayne reached out to wipe your cheeks. His hands, however, were smeared with his own blood, leaving streaks on your face. "Ah... I got blood on you..."
But in that moment, you couldnât care less. There was this indescribable sting of grief, but also paired with a sense of relief so great in your chest the very second you realize that now, he sees you.
You threw yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly as you sobbed, calling out to him in broken voice. âZ-Zayne...!â
âWhy are you crying again...?â he let out a resigned sigh, but still embraced you regardless. âWhat a crybaby...â
You buried your face deeper into him, shaking uncontrollably. âYou... saved me...â you managed to say amidst torrent of tears. âY-You... got hurt...â
âIâll be fine,â he retorted in your ear albeit in a hoarse voice, holding you close, even as blood trickled down the side of his face. âAnd Iâd do it again. I refuse to see you hurt.â
You cried harder, and he pulled you tighter, his chest aching at the sight of you so inconsolable. And in that moment, he made the decision right then and there.
He will protect you so long as time will allow him to.
It was as if the invisible wall between you had crumbled to dust after that incident. You stayed by Zayne's side night and day, monitoring his condition.
And one night, several days later...
"Here, don't move..."
You carefully dressed the wound on Zayne's temple, sitting close beside him. He quietly observed your worried eyes and trembling fingers without a word.
"You even need stitches..." you lamented, biting your lip as you wrapped the bandage around his head. Tears pricked your eyes, overwhelmed by the concern you were pouring into the task.
"I'm telling you, I'm fine," he gruffly insisted in an attempt to erase your mournful expression. He felt the delicate, almost hesitant touch of your fingers on his face. "It'll heal with time."
Even as he said that, a part of you was still troubled at the sight of the wound on his head and cheekbone. No matter what he said, you couldnât shake the feeling that it was somehow your fault.
"I'm done. Now go rest," you said softly, your voice tinged with bitterness after tying the gauze. You rose to put the kit away, but even after you finished, Zayne remained upright on the bed, so you leveled a frown at him.
"What, why aren't youâ Ah!"
Before you knew it, he pulled you by the arm, and you tumbled into his chest in surprise. "What are you doing?!" you yelled at him, clinging to his shoulder and looking up at him with ire. "You could've hit your head!"
He looked down at you with a flat expression, or is that a hint of amusement glinting in his eyes? âCan't a husband cuddle his wife?â
You blinked dumbly, caught off-guard. âYes, you can, but...â
His arms then enveloped you, fitting you on his chest and he sighed against your hair. âThen thereâs nothing wrong with it. Letâs just stay like this for now.â
And so, that was how he decided to sleep throughout the nightâwith you on top of him, held close. You felt self-conscious as Zayne had never initiated this closeness with you since that night.
"Are you sure you want to sleep this way?" you wriggled a bit in his grasp.
He draped an arm around your waist, pressing his eyes shut. "Mm-hm."
"You..." A part of you recoiled at the vulnerability but decided to ask anyway. "Won't this be⌠a mistake...?"
That caught his attention, as Zayne's eyes fluttered open. He looked down at you, who avoided his gaze with a pout and a torn expression, making yourself small in his embrace.
It dawned on him then that this persisting issue in your marriage was thoroughly his fault. His past was something he could neverâand would neverâtrade for anything, but right now, you were that sense of peace that grounded him.
At one point, he has to let it go. These feelings inside him⌠they drive him to.
He softened, his gaze full of understanding as he gently brushed your hair back. "No," he said quietly, his voice tender. "Weâve come too far for it to be one."
Your clear, innocent eyes reluctantly met his, and at that moment something akin to clarity resonated within him.
He once thought nothing could ever mend the hollowness in his heart. And once, he indeed hoped that being with you would provide some form of relief or replace what he had lost.
But right now, feeling how vulnerable you were in his arms like this, he understood that you were not, and could never be, a replacement for anything else. Even before he realized it himself, what he felt for you was something entirely differentâ something dear that had grown and evolved into a genuine affection different from what he had felt for anyone else before.
Those times spent with you, wanting to protect you... Now that he reflected on it, it was never about filling a void, after all.
âI... want to treasure you better.â
Oh. Your heart thumped loudly as those words left his lips, warmth spreading through your entire being. Overwhelmed by the sincerity in his voice, you clung to his chest, feeling a surge of love and a profound sense of being freed from the chains of insecurity that had taken you hostage all these years.
Most precious. Zayne smiled at you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
âThis time for sure... I will.â
And at last... he could say it without any lingering guilt.
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toxic!rafe will blow your phone up the second you post something on instagram that heâs âiffyâ about.



you posted a photo dump which consisted of some random photos of the beach, some of your friends, one of you and rafe of course, but the one that had rafe seeing red was the last slide, which was you in a bikini. he texted you several times at first, and while you were literally typing your response, he called you. your fingers were typing so fast to respond to him that you accidentally declined the call, and he did not like that. you immediately went to call him back, but another text from rafe rolled in, saying âfuck you donât talk to me weâre doneâ you sighed loudly, knowing damn well he was talking out of his ass right now, so you sat back and waited for the inevitable next string of texts to roll in. which they did, only seconds later.
rafe <3: do you get off on making me mad or something
rafe <3: like iâm racking my brain trying to understand why you do the things you do and thatâs all i can come up with
rafe <3: and i see at least 4 guys have already liked your post like thatâs crazy to me?? thought i told you to block all the guys that followed you?? of course you didnât
rafe <3: also who even took that pic of you??? bc i know damn well it wasnât me so who the fuck you posing for with your fucking ass and tits out? WHAT THE FUCK
rafe <3: DO NOT PUT YOUR SHIT ON DO NOT DISTURB answer me rn.
rafe <3: nah itâs cool actually iâm gonna go hit up my other gfs so you have a good night.
you rolled your eyes at that last text, deciding to fully turn your phone off. you knew he would likely try to text or call you again very soon but you didnât want to deal with it right now. this wasnât your first rodeo, you knew nothing you could say to him right now would calm him down, so letting him freak out on his own was the best method to his madness.
three hours had passed since you turned your phone off. you had caught up on some reading and turned on your current favorite show, but found yourself interrupted by a knock at your front door. you expected it to be rafe, but instead it was a large bouquet of your favorite flowers and a gift bag. you glanced around to see if rafe was lurking around, but saw nothing. when he freaked out over text and was able to reread his actions, he usually waited a bit longer to show his face as opposed to a verbal argument.
you brought the flowers inside and set them on the counter before grabbing the card attached to the side of the bouquet.
sorry we argued. you are so beautiful and i love you so much. got you a little gift and sent you some money for food and i set your appointment with your nail girl for tomorrow at 10. love you forever baby -rafe
you couldnât help but smile just a little. the flowers were beautiful and the note was pretty sweet, so you chose to ignore the part where he said âwe argued.â you didnât get a word in, but you let it slide. especially after you opened the gift bag to see the new dior bag you had been wanting.
you hurried to turn on your phone, immediately seeing a $500 apple payment from rafe as well as a new text from a few minutes ago.
rafe <3: hope you like the flowers and bag baby. love you! :)
you: i love them. thanks rafe, love you too
rafe <3: good to hear. lmk what you end up getting for dinner and iâll pick you up tomorrow to take you to your nail apt. canât wait to see you baby
you would order yourself dinner that was obviously way less than $500, but you would send rafe a picture and thank him again. youâd facetime him before bed and conversation flowed like nothing had even happened just hours before. heâd ask you what color nails you were getting, tell you funny stories about the old men at the country club and excitedly plan what you two were going to do the next day. the cycle seemed like it would never end, but you often forgot about the bad when he was talking so sweetly to you and all you could think about was how excited you were to see him tomorrow.
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very discreet
summery: you and bucky have a relationship nobody is aware of. they keep trying to set him up with other women while bucky is trying to avoid them.
pairing: Grumpy!Bucky x Quiet!Reader
warning: SMUT, fluff, bad writing???, swearing
A/N: clearly i have a thing for grumpy bucky but i also have a thing was hidden relationships. you can read the asks for this fic at the lodge's BNB and also here is the steve's story in this universe
âOh come on Bucky, how long will you stay single? Don't you think it's time you start looking for a partner?â Natasha pointed her knife at Bucky while they were polishing their weapons.
âI don't need anyone, Nat.â Bucky sighs and keeps on cleaning his guns.
âBullshit!â Natasha stabs the wooden table beside Bucky. âWe're all wrung out after missions and we all need a release. You know better than to stay holed up in a room with veins full of adrenaline. If not a girlfriend, get some beneficial partner.â Natasha shrugged.
âYou might be doing that, Nat but I really don't need someone. I am happy where I am.â Bucky picks up his guns and arranges them back in their place. He wipes his workstation clean and walks out.
The mission today wasn't that bad but Bucky felt tired. The entire team has been on his case for over two months. How can he convince them that he doesnt need anyone? He's fine where he is. In fact, he is happier than ever and he would never trade this with anything else.
He walks in his room and wearily grabs his towel and sweatpants to take a shower. He turns on the water and stands under it till he hears his bathroom door being opened. He turns on the hot water to the right temperature and shuffles to make space. He hears some rustling and the shower curtain is pulled slightly open. You, very slowly step in and stand under the water source.
âI missed you, doll.â Bucky wraps his arms around you. You nod with a slight blush.
You pull out the loofah and pour the body wash on it. Bucky takes it from your hand and starts helping you clean up. Once you are covered in soap, you turn to Bucky and return the favor. Washing away the grime, dirt and tiredness of the day, you both towel each other dry.
âBucky,â You point at one of his t-shirts from the wardrobe and look down thinking he might reject what you're asking.
âYou don't need to ask me, doll. What's mine is yours.â He pulls a t-shirt on you and kisses your cheek. You nod and blush even more. You shuffle onto the bed and snuggle to your side of the bed, waiting patiently for Bucky to come.
âTell me about your day, doll. Was it very draining?â he slips into the bed and brings you closer. You wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face in his chest and nod a yes.
He sighs in content and pulls the comforter up. Your legs are parted and one of them is resting on Buckyâs hips. He kisses your forehead and his metal arm slowly drags to your inner thighs. You weren't wearing any underwear, giving complete access to Bucky, as he plunged his metal middle finger into your core. You gasp and your hold around Bucky tightens. He pulls out his finger and rubs your clit, making you moan in his chest. His hold on your waist tightens as he pushes two fingers in you again and uses his thumb to caress your nub. Your moans and gasps fill the quiet room as you reach the edge. You twist a little and put your hand on your mouth as you come all over Buckyâs sweatpants. You sigh and push Bucky a little, signaling him to grab new sweatpants. He complies and snuggles back into the bed against you.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
The kitchen was lively today. Nobody was on a mission so the atmosphere was very relaxed. But not everyone was relaxing.
âBucky, come on, go on this date. She's really nice and totally your type.â Sam pushed the topic further.
âHow do you know my type, bird brain?â Bucky walked behind the kitchen counter.
You were standing there, making lunch for everyone while Bucky helped. Bucky would discreetly hold your waist or find a way to keep close to you in the kitchen. You were a blushing mess but Bucky didn't mind. As he saw nobody was looking, he kissed your cheek and went to the fridge to pretend as if nothing had happened. You just stood there with eyes wide.
âLet me help out.â Bucky very subtly held your waist and moved you away from the stove and started stirring the soup pot. He knew he had shocked you enough and you needed to calm down.
âShe's all goth. You grunt, she stares. It's like a match made in heaven, Tinman. Go out with her. Nat arranged the date for you.â Sam continued and Nat nodded.
You looked up and saw Bucky roll his eyes and shake his head. His hand went to his chest and caressed his shirt before going back to the stove.
âI'm not going anywhere. I've told you before, I do not want to go on dates. I am happy where I am.â
âToo late, Barnes. She'll be waiting for you at the cafe this evening. I've already arranged the date and promised her. You can't back out now.â Nat warned Bucky.
âWhat the fuck, Nat! I told you I'm not interested. Cancel it. Im not going and thats final.â Bucky slams the stirring spoon on the counter and stomps out of the kitchen but not before subtly nudging you to follow.
âTalk some sense into him. He listens to you. Tell him it is a good idea to meet new people,â Sam pleads to you.
You just shake your head and grab some soup in two bowls. One for you and one for Bucky. The rest of the team gather slowly to grab the soup.
You stop in front of your door and knock. A furrowed eyed Bucky opens the door and side steps to let you in.
You hold out the soup bowl towards Bucky who has turned his back to you. âBucky?â
Your quiet whisper of his name was enough to melt his brains off. He stands up and takes the soup bowl from your hand, putting it to the side. He hugs you and nuzzles his head in your neck, breathing in deeply. Your hand instinctively wraps around his waist and you start rubbing his back to calm him down.
âThey just won't let it go. I'm sorry, doll. I wish I could give a better reason to them.â Bucky mumbles into your neck, sending waves of goosebumps all over your body.
âIt's okay. Go.â You try to make him go because you know what it's like to be stood up and you know for the fact that Bucky will stand the girl up.
âI'm not gonna listen to you this time, doll. This is ridiculous. I am not leaving and that is final. Maybe I'll send one of those apology flowers you talk about to her through Happy.â he tightens his hold on you. You sigh. You knew it was pointless from getting him to change his mind.
You just wanted him to go and tell the girl that he is committed elsewhere but he is so stubborn that he won't even listen to what you have to say so you try to pull away to at least have him finish his soup.
âNo. stop pulling away.â He sits back on bed with you in his lap, not even letting you go. You giggle and try to make space between the two of you so you can at least grab the soup bowl.
âBucky, soup.â You manage to release your hand point at the bowls.
âFine. but only because you are hungry and you made this with so much love.â His stomach grumbles and he makes a face, making you giggle even more.
His frown melts into a smile and he grabs your face, peppering kisses all over it, making you giggle and laugh. âThis is why I'm not going anywhere. You are perfect, doll. I love you.â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âYou piece of shit! Did you seriously stand her up? What the fuck is wrong with you?â Nat blasted at him and threw a punch at him.
Bucky ducked and svewerd to the side to keep you safe. You were standing very close to Bucky to hide the fact that he was holding your waist. But just as Nat threw a punch at him, he pulled away and moved away from you.
âAre you crazy? You could have hurt her.â Bucky pointed at you while dodging Natâs punches. âAnd I sent flowers to say sorry. I told you I am not interested. When I say no, accept it.â
Bucky blocks Natâs punches with his metal arm and pushes her away. Before she could do more damage, Steve walks in and stands between Bucky and Nat.
âEnough, both of you. This is not a dueling ground. Walk it off, Romanov. And you, Bucky, let's talk.â Steve nods at you and guides Bucky out of the gym leaving you sigh in relief.
That night, everyone had dinner on their own. You weren't very keen on cooking so you, Bucky and Steve got pizza together. They had put on Harry Potter since you loved talking about it.
Bucky couldn't keep his eyes off of you as you mouthed the dialogues with the characters. He smiled. Steve nudged Bucky and shook his head with a smile.
Steve loved seeing his best friend so happy. Steve loved you like a sister too. Your quiet and shy nature had calmed Steve in many situations and he was grateful. You had taken Steveâs side during the fallout and helped Bucky without a complaint. Surprisingly Bucky wanted to keep you by his side. Steve saw Bucky open up to you and you accepted him naturally. One day Steve found Bucky cuddled up with you and he knew this was his brotherâs happy ending.
âI'm off to bed. Doll, take care,â Steve kissed your forehead. âBuck, please stop fighting with people. And think about what I said, both of you. I know where you come from but think about it before it causes more such issues.â
Steve closed the door behind him as he walked out and went off to bed. You turned off the movie and got up to throw the boxes away. Bucky took the boxes from you and walked out of the room to throw them off while you cleaned up the room and got ready to sleep.
Bucky walked in, took off his shirt and crawled in the bed beside you. âWhat are you thinking, doll?â He saw your solemn expression.
âMaybe Steve is right.â You whisper quietly, fumbling with the edge of the blanket.
Bucky holds your hand and pulls you close to lie on his chest. âAre you worried? I will do what you want to do, doll.â
âYou have been doing what we want, Bucky, but after today, I didn't think it would get this serious.â
âAre you talking about my little tiff with Nat? It worked out at the end. You know that.â Bucky kissed your forehead.
âThat and the fact that you got set up on a date. I-i know that you won't ever go but, it-it scared me. I-â Your voice started to waver.
You cried on Buckyâs chest. He lifted your face up and wiped away the tears, kissing your forehead.
âDoll, I get it. That's what made me more angry. They were talking about it to you as well. Trying to involve you in their little plans. I hated that you had to listen to all of that.â
âSo? What do you think?â You lift your face and rest your chin on his chest, looking at him.
âDon't tell Steve I said this, it'll get to his head, but he is right.â
You rise up to give him a peck but Bucky pulls you for a deeper kiss. You moan and straddle his waist. He lifts your (his) t-shirt up and throws it on the floor, without letting his lips leave yours. You grind against his clothed erection.
âDidn't wear any panties, doll? My perfect girl.â
He flips you and removes his sweatpants. He aligns himself against your folds and slowly pushes himself in. your back arches on the bed and a loud moan escapes your throat. He flips the pair of you again and gets you on top of him, pushing his cock deeper into you. You slowly start to grind against him, making him moan and hiss. His hands are kneading your breasts and pinching your nipples as he starts pushing himself into you. You start bouncing over him to match his rutting speed.
âFuck, doll. You're being so good right now.â
You whimper as you get closer to the edge. âBucky, im gonna-â
âCum, doll. Ive got us.â
His speed increases and soon you both cum and he fills you up while you're gushing down on him. You pant as your body falls on him. He caresses your back as you both catch your breaths.
He slowly gets up, taking you with him, to the bathroom to clean up. The cleaning up in the shower turns into another session and later you both fall on the bed, naked and exhausted. You pull yourself a little further from Bucky and pull out a dainty gold band from the bedside table.
You hand the ring over to Bucky who chuckles and slips it on your finger. You sigh with content and snuggle into the blanket with Buckyâs chest against your back, all tucked in.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
The New Yearâs party by Tony Stark is always iconic and it was just as this year too. You and Bucky came to the party together. Bucky was immediately called over by Tony to meet some people while you made your way to the corner of the room. Steve saw you and stood beside you with beer in his hand.
You look at Steve with beer and giggle.
Steve looks at you and rolls his eyes. âI know. But I enjoy the feeling of the bottle in my hand. Makes me feel normal, yâknow.â
You nod and pat his back. He relaxes. You point at his hand and he shakes his head. âNot today.â Steve instantly changes the topic. âBucky told me about your plan today. I'm here for support, you know that, right?â You nod your head vigorously, making Steve laugh out loud.
Hearing Steve laugh, Bucky turns his head in the direction to see a smile on your face while Steve laughs. He relaxes a little and goes back to the conversation. But no matter how hard he tried, he could not get to you the entire night. Someone either dragged him away or you were occupied with conversation with the teammates, but mostly it was the first reason.
It was time for dinner and you started digging around the buffet table to find your favorites. Bucky subtly joined you and handed him the plate.
âI'm nervous, doll.â He whispers in your ears. You look up to him and his stale blue eyes are staring deep into yours. You look around to see if someone isn't looking and pull him in a very secluded corner. You peck his lips and hug him tightly. He releases the breath he didn't know he was holding and wraps his free arm around you.
âThank you, doll, I needed it.â
You take the plate from him and walk back to the buffet table and gather more food before moving back to the corner of the room. Bucky looks at you as you go with a bounce in your step. He could tell you were happy with the decision and he smiled.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
People were counting down and Bucky was dragged to the other side of the room. You stood in your corner and tried to find Bucky in the crowd. You could have pushed through but he was too surrounded. You shift from one foot to another. The heels were killing you and Bucky had promised that you'd leave immediately after the countdown was done.
Bucky dodged and stumbled against the crowd to reach you. He heard many women in the crowd saying they had a chance with him and he did not want to give it to them.
3
Bucky came across one woman who tried to grab his shirt.
2
Natasha pointed at some woman behind Bucky who would like a kiss but Bucky distracted her
1
Almost there
Happy New Year!
Your back was to the crowd. A hand slipped around your waist and pulled you around to face your blue-eyed man. âHappy New Year, doll.â
He kissed you deeply. He was pouring out all the adrenaline that had flown into him while reaching you. Your hand cupped his face and pulled him closer. His metal arm held the back of your head to angle it better while his flesh arm held you tightly against his body.
You heard the entire room gasp and then pin drop silence. You needed to breathe so you tapped his shoulder twice. He pulled his lips away from yours and rested his forehead against yours.
âI guess it's time, doll.â
He moves to your side and pulls you closer to him. But before he could get a word out, Sam jumped in.
âYou and her? When did that happen?â
âWell, if you would be quiet, I would tell you.â Bucky pulls you to the couch and sits down, taking you on his lap. You try to slide down beside him but his hold wonât budge. âWell, this is a family matter and I assume the rest of you got the message.â
âRight, well, thank you all for joining the party but I guess it ends here today.â Tony starts shooing people away.
Steve comes and sits beside Bucky and you. He slaps Bucky on the back supportively and you smile a little before burying your face in Buckyâs neck out of embarrassment.
âEveryone is gone. Out with it, Tinman.â Sam jumps onto the adjacent sofa with Nat and the rest of the team in tow.
âWe're married.â Bucky pulls out his hand from around your waist and grabs your left hand to show off the matching wedding bands.
âWhat the fuck!!!â Natasha jumps out of the seat and comes close to check the rings.
âSince when?â Tony asked.
âThree years now, right doll?â You nod.
âThree years! Right under our noses?â
âWhen did you get married? Where? How? What?â
Everyone was very confused with the revelation.
âWe met during the fallout and well, i started to fall in love with her. She felt the same and we got married in a city hall in New York.â Bucky explained in short terms. You were still in his lap and nodded to everything he said, supporting his statement.
âBut, why were we not invited? We were with you the whole time! How did we not know about this?â Sam almost screamed his head off.
âYou werent there all the time. Remember the day Steve sent you all to stakeout? He helped me and the doll get to the city hall and we got married. Captain America as our witness.â Bucky chuckled at the last statement, earning a small whack from you on his chest. Steve just rolled his eyes.
âYou knew!â Natasha pointed at Steve who shrugged. âIt wasn't my story to tell and I just wanted to see my best friend happy. He was happy with her so I stopped them.â
The discussion went on for almost an hour. Your little stifled yawn caught Buckyâs attention and he got up with you in his arms.
âAlright kids, my wife and I are tired and I have plans for our third anniversary tomorrow.â
âBye.â You wave at them and slump back in his arms.
âWait! At Least tell us your anniversary date.â
âIt's January 1st. It was dead winter and my wife showed me that I can be happy during the cold too.â
He lets the elevator door shut on everyoneâs faces. Seeing a sleepy you in his arms was all he could ask for this New Year.
................................
this fic is open for requests
#bucky barnes x reader#fanfiction#fluff#marvel fandom#smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barns x y/n#grumpy!bucky#shy!reader#quiet!reader#fanfic#bucky barnes#loverslodge
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the appalachian murder ballad <3 one of the most interesting elements of americana and american folk, imo!
my wife recently gave me A Look when i had one playing in the car and she was like, "why do all of these old folk songs talk about killing people lmao" and i realized i wanted to Talk About It at length.
nerd shit under the cut, and it's long. y'all been warned
so, as y'all probably know, a lot of appalachian folk music grew its roots in scottish folk (and then was heavily influenced by Black folks once it arrived here, but that's a post for another time).
they existed, as most folk music does, to deliver a narrative--to pass on a story orally, especially in communities where literacy was not widespread. their whole purpose was to get the news out there about current events, and everyone loves a good murder mystery!
as an aside, i saw someone liken the murder ballad to a ye olde true crime podcast and tbh, yeah lol.
the "original" murder ballads started back across the pond as news stories printed on broadsheets and penned in such a way that it was easy to put to melody.
they were meant to be passed on and keep the people informed about the goings-on in town. i imagine that because these songs were left up to their original orators to get them going, this would be why we have sooo many variations of old folk songs.
naturally then, almost always, they were based on real events, either sung from an outside perspective, from the killer's perspective and in some cases, from the victim's. of course, like most things from days of yore, they reek of social dogshit. the particular flavor of dogshit of the OG murder ballad was misogyny.
so, the murder ballad came over when the english and scots-irish settlers did. in fact, a lot of the current murder ballads are still telling stories from centuries ago, and, as is the way of folk, getting rewritten and given new names and melodies and evolving into the modern recordings we hear today.
305 such scottish and english ballads were noted and collected into what is famously known as the Child Ballads collected by a professor named francis james child in the 19th century. they have been reshaped and covered and recorded a million and one times, as is the folk way.
while newer ones continued to largely fit the formula of retelling real events and murder trials (such as one of my favorite ones, little sadie, about a murderer getting chased through the carolinas to have justice handed down), they also evolved into sometimes fictional, (often unfortunately misogynistic) cautionary tales.
perhaps the most famous examples of these are omie wise and pretty polly where the woman's death almost feels justified as if it's her fault (big shocker).
but i digress. in this way, the evolution of the murder ballad came to serve a similar purpose as the spooky legends of appalachia did/do now.
(why do we have those urban legends and oral traditions warning yall out of the woods? to keep babies from gettin lost n dying in them. i know it's a fun tiktok trend rn to tell tale of spooky scary woods like there's really more haints out here than there are anywhere else, but that's a rant for another time too ain't it)
so, the aforementioned little sadie (also known as "bad lee brown" in some cases) was first recorded in the 1920s. i'm also plugging my favorite female-vocaist cover of it there because it's superior when a woman does it, sorry.
it is a pretty straightforward murder ballad in its content--in the original version, the guy kills a woman, a stranger or his girlfriend sometimes depending on who is covering it.
but instead of it being a cautionary 'be careful and don't get pregnant or it's your fault' tale like omie wise and pretty polly, the guy doesn't get away with it, and he's not portrayed as sympathetic like the murderer is in so many ballads.
a few decades after, women started saying fuck you and writing their own murder ballads.
in the 40s, the femme fatale trope was in full swing with women flipping the script and killing their male lovers for slights against them instead.
men began to enter the "find out" phase in these songs and paid up for being abusive partners. women regained their agency and humanity by actually giving themselves an active voice instead of just being essentially 'fridged in the ballads of old.
her majesty dolly parton even covered plenty of old ballads herself but then went on to write the bridge, telling the pregnant-woman-in-the-murder-ballad's side of things for once. love her.
as a listener, i realized that i personally prefer these modern covers of appalachian murder ballads sung by women-led acts like dolly and gillian welch and even the super-recent crooked still especially, because there is a sense of reclamation, subverting its roots by giving it a woman's voice instead.
meaning that, like a lot else from the problematic past, the appalachian murder ballad is something to be enjoyed with critical ears. violence against women is an evergreen issue, of course, and you're going to encounter a lot of that in this branch of historical music.
but with folk songs, and especially the murder ballad, being such a foundational element of appalachian history and culture and fitting squarely into the appalachian gothic, i still find them important and so, so interesting
i do feel it's worth mentioning that there are "tamer" ones. with traditional and modern murder ballads alike, some of them are just for "fun," like a murder mystery novel is enjoyable to read; not all have a message or retell a historical trial.
(for instance, i'd even argue ultra-modern, popular americana songs like hell's comin' with me is a contemporary americana murder ballad--being sung by a male vocalist and having evolved from being at the expense of a woman to instead being directed at a harmful and corrupt church. that kind of thing)
in short: it continues to evolve, and i continue to eat that shit up.
anyway, to leave off, lemme share with yall my personal favorite murder ballad which fits squarely into murder mystery/horror novel territory imo.
it's the 10th child ballad and was originally known as "the twa sisters." it's been covered to hell n back and named and renamed.
but! if you listen to any flavor of americana, chances are high you already know it; popular names are "the dreadful wind and rain" and sometimes just "wind and rain."
in it, a jealous older sister pushes her other sister into a river (or stream, or sea, depending on who's covering it) over a dumbass man. the little sister's body floats away and a fiddle maker come upon her and took parts of her body to make a fiddle of his own. the only song the new fiddle plays is the tale about how it came to be, and it is the same song you have been listening to until then.
how's that for genuinely spooky-scary appalachia, y'all?
#appalachia#appalachian murder ballads#murder ballads#appalachian music#appalachian culture#appalachian history#appalachian#appalachian folklore#appalachian gothic#tw violence against women#cw violence against women#cw murder#tw murder#folk music#folk#txt
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THREE WEEKS & THREE DAYS - P.SH

pairing. best friend's ex!sunghoon x reader
genre. best friend's ex au, halloween au, smut, angst (if you squint).
word count. 12.2k+
warnings. alcohol consumption, drug usage, partying, driving under the influence, toxic relationships, themes of divorce, brief mention of physical abuse, smut [car sex, use of handcuffs, oral, praise kink/dirty talk, creampie]
summary. a stressful night at a Halloween party has you seeking comfort from the last person you should be involved with â your best friend's ex.
a/n. HIGHLY HIGHLY inspired by season 2 episode 1 of euphoria! this is a work of pure fiction and is NOT a reflection of how i view the members. despite writing this story, i DO NOT condone the dangerous choices the characters in this fic make and DO NOT encourage others to do so! read at your own discretion. also, very special thanks to @zreamy for beta-reading this for me!!
When you were six, you spent Halloween night lying on a hospital bed dressed as Hannah Montana.
Everything happened so fast; one moment, you were trick-or-treating with your father and younger sister while scarfing down a Snickers bar for the first time (a king-sized one at that), and the next, your dad was rushing you to the hospital in a panic, tears in his eyes as he encouraged you to stay awake in the backseat.
By the time youâd arrived at the hospital, your body had gone completely limp, and your father struggled to carry both you and your younger sister into the hospital lobby. From what you can remember, it was like a scene from a movie: seeing your dad cry for the first time, being wheeled into an unfamiliar bright room on a mobile bed, all while dressed as your favorite popstar.
The scariest part of the night was shortly after arriving at the hospital and catching a glimpse of your reflection, not recognizing the person staring back at you. The blonde wig and blue eye contacts were to be expected, but the swollen face and half-lidded eyes were another. Had you been able to breathe (let alone talk), you likely wouldâve given your sister a classic Halloween jumpscare.
Your mother had arrived only a few minutes after you did, yelling at your father loud enough to have the hospital staff threaten to kick her out. âYou forgot she was allergic to peanuts?! Where was her fucking EpiPen?!â
Your dad sighed, running a hand across his face, âI forgot to pick it up. Iâve been busy withâŚyou know.â
She scoffs, âYou donât think Iâve been busy too?! Especially now that we have to meet with the divorce lawyer once a week?!â
Your ears perk up at that, âDivorce?â
You hadnât known much about the true meaning of divorce, except that itâs something your friendâs parents had gone through, and now he gets two of everything. Two birthdays, two Christmases, two lives. So simple yet so perfect, what child wouldnât dream of that?
Your parents, who hadnât even known you were awake, silence themselves immediately. Tears quickly form in your motherâs eyes as she realizes theyâd been caught, trying their best to keep the news of their divorce as quiet as possible, waiting for the right moment to explain to you and your sister, Yuna, the real meaning of it, and how different your lives would be.
It dawns on them that thereâs no point trying to keep this secret any longer. You were a smart kid, it was probably only a matter of time before you found out on your own, anyway.Â
All in one night, you managed to survive a near-death experience, only to be followed by the news of your parentsâ divorce. And somehow, at twenty-three years old, watching Lee Heeseung flirt with random girls at a Halloween party is much worse than everything you experienced that cursed night in 2007.
âCan you at least pretend that youâre having a good time?!â You can barely hear Minjeong over how loud the music is, her words fading in and out as you take a sip from your cup.
âI am having a good time, isnât it obvious?â you reply, showing Minjeong your best fake smile.
Grinning, Minjeong shakes her head at you. âNot at all. Here, need a refill?â
Without waiting for your response, Minjeong hops off the kitchen counter and snatches the red solo cup in your hand. You donât bother protesting, sighing as you rest your weight against the marble countertop, while she adds a mix of different ingredients to your cup.
When sheâs not looking, you tilt your head in the direction of the living room, hoping to get a glance at Heeseung through the sea of drunken college students.
The only word that can be used to describe your relationship with Heeseung is âunfortunateâ. You were together for six months, and spent most of the time fighting, making up, and having sex. It was a relentless, tiresome cycle you allowed yourself to succumb to just for the sake of not having to be alone.
Most of the arguments would start with you questioning Heeseungâs loyalty, growing suspicious upon seeing his username pop up in the likes section of random girls on social media. In hindsight, it seems like a silly thing to get upset over. The entire purpose of social media was to connect and interact with others anyway, but, why was it always girls? And why would these girls suddenly start watching your stories?
Breaking up with him was harder than you couldâve imagined, and youâre sure you wouldnât have been able to do it without Minjeong by your side, encouraging you through the entire process.Â
The aftermath was embarrassingly excruciating. For two weeks, you locked yourself in your bedroom and fell into a cycle of sleeping and crying, occasionally taking breaks to eat or use the restroom. At one point, your phone spent a full forty-eight hours without being turned on at all, causing your loved ones to panic upon not being able to get ahold of you.
Slowly but surely you managed to build yourself back up, finally starting to feel like your old self when Heeseung suggested the two of you get back together.
You were hesitant, of course, telling Heeseung you were willing to work things out if he can prove to you heâs changed and ready to be the loyal, doting boyfriend he shouldâve been from the start.
So no, youâre not together. But youâre also not not together. Itâs confusing.
A football player is blocking your view of Heeseung (dressed as a cowboy), you have to stand on your tip-toes to catch a glimpse of him talking to â wait, who is that?
âPatrick would not stand for this.â Minjeong interrupts your thoughts, poking fun at your costume choice of a female Patrick Bateman.
You shrug, pretending to act clueless. âI wasnât doing anything.â
Minjeong rolls her eyes, shoving your cup back into your hand âSure, you werenât. Come on, cheers with me.â
âTo what?â you ask, suspiciously eyeing the drink sheâs just handed you. Minjeong isnât that great of a cook, so you can imagine sheâs not the best bartender either. In fact, itâd be best if she stayed far away from any sort of kitchen appliance.
She thinks for a moment then excitedly extends her cup out to you. âTo getting over our shitty ex-boyfriends!â
Minjeongâs ex was Park Sunghoon, they dated on and off for a year and a half before calling it quits over the summer. You donât remember the exact reason why they broke up, there were many different factors. It didnât matter, they were bad for each other anyway and the relationship was entirely too toxic for either of their wellbeing.Â
You donât know much about Sunghoon aside from the things Minjeong felt comfortable enough to share with you and the fact that he is on the universityâs hockey team with Heeseung. Youâve probably had a handful of conversations and interactions with Sunghoon in the entire time of knowing him, and are more than happy with things staying that way.
Holding your cup up high, you match Minjeongâs smile and tap your cup against hers. âTo getting over our ex-boyfriends!â
The drink is disgusting. You quickly turn away so you donât hurt your best friendâs feelings by gagging at the taste. She manages to down her entire cup while you make quick work of pouring a majority of yours down the sink behind you.
Minjeong stares down at her empty cup with wide eyes, licking the remains off her plump lips. âHoly shit, that was so good. Do you want more? Iâm gonna make myself another cup.â
âIâm good for now, thanks,â you say, snatching your cup away when she reaches for it. Minjeong raises a brow at you, and you follow up with, âI should wait before having another drink.â
She nods understandingly, and you give yourself a mental pat on the back for coming up with that so quickly.
While sheâs occupied with making another drink, your eyes trail back over towards Heeseung. The football player from earlier is gone, and now that your view is no longer obstructed, you watch in confusion as Heeseung now has this mystery girl by the waist, leaning his head down close to her lips as she whispers something in his ear.
This really is worse than Halloween 2007.
âHey.â You tap Minjeongâs shoulder. âIâll be right back, okay?â
She follows your line of sight, scowling when it lands on Heeseung. âYN, donât make a big deal out of this. You guys technically arenât even together.â
âRelax, Iâm just going to say hi.â You assure her, moving to head towards Heeseung when Minjeong stops you with a hand on your chest. âThink about this, please.â
You sigh, using your free hand to clutch hers and slowly bring it down from your chest. âIâll be fine. Be back soon so we can dance, okay?â
Minjeong knows she wonât be able to stop you once your mind is made up, all she can do is sigh and wish you the best as you make a beeline for your ex. Maybe not the greatest idea on your part, but youâre too tipsy to think rationally.
Heeseung doesnât notice you when you first approach, it takes the mystery girl awkwardly gesturing in your direction for him to finally look over at you, immediately dropping his hand from the girlâs waist. âYN!â He shouts, a little too excitedly, nervously scratching the back of his neck.
A few minutes later, you find yourself in an unfamiliar bedroom with Heeseung on step one of your toxic cycle â arguing.
âYouâre overreacting,â Heeseung claims. âWe were just talking.â
âAbout what, Heeseung? Why did you have to hold her by the fucking waist to talk to her?â
âBecause! She was drunk! I was holding her up so she wouldnât fall and hurt herself!â
âWho gives a shit if she falls? Sheâs not your fucking girlfriend.â
âYeah, well, neither are you.âÂ
His words shouldnât hurt as much as they do because heâs right; despite trying to work on things, you arenât his girlfriend. You were the one who said you werenât ready to get back together, not him. You shouldnât be upset with him for talking to other girls.
And yet, here you are with tears in your eyes.Â
You nod silently, avoiding his gaze as a lump forms in your throat.Â
Heeseung must realize how much his words have affected you if the way he curses at himself, and shamefully runs a hand across his face is anything to go by. âListen, Iâm sor-â
âDonât bother.â You stand from the bed, holding back a sob.âEverything about this was a mistake. Youâll never change.â
Heeseung reaches a hand out to grab your arm as you push past him. âYN, I didnât mean it.â
âYeah, Heeseung, you did mean it,â you say, pulling the bedroom door open.
There is no point in trying to reason with Heeseung. You know in a matter of time heâll apologize, youâll accept it like you always do, have make-up sex, then lecture him about how important it is that he changes before you can consider getting back together. Another endless cycle youâve fallen into.
Stepping back into the party, you head in the opposite direction of where Minjeong would be, not wanting to run into her in your current state and bump right into someone dressed as Spiderman, causing the little remains of your drink to spill over and knock to the ground. Youâre grateful that a crucial part of Patrick Batemanâs costume involved a plastic raincoat, or else your outfit would have suffered a dark blue stain.
âOh my God, YN! Iâm so sorry!â Spider-Man apologizes with a thick Australian accent.
âJake?â You question, gesturing for him to take the mask off.
He follows your command, face bright red from embarrassment or alcohol. Probably both.
âYeah, haha, hey. Really sorry about that, I can get you a new drink.â Jake turns in the direction of the kitchen before you stop him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
âItâs fine, Jake. Do you know where the bathroom is?â
Jake thinks for a moment, scratching at the small amount of stubble thatâs graced his chin. He really does make a perfect Spider-Man, and if you werenât so upset, you probably wouldâve stayed and told him that.
âUpstairs, all the way down the hall. Wait! Itâs occupied, people are doing coke in there, I think.â
Great.
You sigh. âDo you know if thereâs another one I can use?â
âIâm pretty sure thereâs one.â Jake turns, pointing to a door at the end of the hallway. âRight there. I saw a few people come in and out.â
Thanking Jake, you follow his direction and head to the door at the end of the hallway.
Itâs a garage, not a bathroom. But, as long as you get a moment alone, you donât really care where you are.
After shutting the door behind you, you sit on top of a washing machine and flinch at the cold metal sending chills down your thighs.
You shouldnât have come out tonight, you donât even care about Halloween to begin with. Itâs an overrated holiday, you wish you wouldâve convinced Minjeong to stay in with you and have a classic horror movie marathon while eating takeout and pausing to hand out (peanut-free) candy to trick-or-treaters.
Though, youâre sure you still wouldâve spent the better half of the night obsessively tapping through Heeseungâs Instagram stories or trying to spot him in the background of someone elseâs. It was a lose-lose situation no matter what, and you find yourself wondering if thereâs an end to this unhealthy cycle.
Despite being so young when it happened, youâre sure your parentsâ divorce obstructed your view of love and how a healthy adult relationship should work. Your father went on to have short-lived relationships with younger women who were using him for his money, while your mother remained single and chose to criticize her ex-husbandâs current lifestyle choices. They couldnât even co-parent in peace, always making petty comments to the other during drop-offs and pick-ups, finding any and every little thing to start arguing about.
One time in particular, after spending the weekend at your fatherâs house, your mother slapped him in a Dairy Queen parking lot upon realizing his new girlfriend had taken you and your sister to get your ears pierced. You didnât actually see the slap happen, but it was loud enough to echo through the empty parking lot and hard enough to leave a red mark on his face.
The memory has tears forming in your eyes for the umpteenth time tonight, but before any of them have the chance to trickle down, the garage door swings open.
You turn, and Park Sunghoon (dressed as a police officer) is staring back at you with a confused look on his face. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before pointing in the direction of the party. âUh, Jake said this was the bathroom.â
Shaking your head, you offer him a small smile. âNo, the bathroomâs upstairs but itâs being used. If you really have to go, Iâm pretty sure that door leads to the backyard.â You nod your head in the direction of the other door, and Sunghoon picks up on what youâre implying.
He thanks you before jogging over to the exit, setting his cup down on a metal dog crate before turning the knob and pushing open the door.
Sunghoon stands far enough out of frame that you only see a portion of his backside, and once the sound of him pissing on the grass hits your ears, you wonder why he didnât bother to close the door in the first place.
Men.
He clears his throat awkwardly, âSo, you sââ
You cut him off. âLetâs just wait until youâre done, please.â
Sunghoon nods, mumbling, âRight, right.â
He finishes up a few seconds later, zipping his pants back up and properly adjusting himself before returning to the garage, closing the door behind him and picking his drink back up in the process. âSo, Iâm guessing youâreâŚupset because of Heeseung?â
You let out a sad chuckle that sounds more like a sob. âLucky guess. Heâs just so fucking confusing, I canât take it.â
âYouâll be alright,â Sunghoon responds, slipping his phone from his pants pocket and unlocking it. âHeeseungâs a douchebag.â
This catches you off guard, and youâre laughing before you even realize it. âIsnât he your friend?â
Sunghoon shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at his phone as he scrolls. âNot really. We donât talk much if it isnât related to hockey or school.â
A beat of silence passes, then you ask, âWhen Heeseung and I were together, did he mention anything about cheating on me? Or talking to other girls?â
Sunghoon glances up at you for a split second, taking in how sad and hopeful you look before returning his gaze to the weather app heâd been using to distract himself.
He wasnât sure if Heeseung went as far as physically cheating on you, but he was definitely talking to other girls behind your back; proudly showing the hockey team countless nudes and vulgar photos they would send him, some of them coming from your own friends.Â
Sunghoon canât tell you this, youâre upset enough as it is.
âI wouldnât know, I always tuned him out whenever he talked.â
Though heâs not sure what answer you were hoping for, Sunghoon can tell youâre a little disappointed by his response. Truthfully, he didnât feel like getting involved in anyone elseâs drama. If you wanted clarity from Heeseung, you shouldâve gone straight to the source.
âSorry,â you apologize, feeling slightly embarrassed that you probably made things awkward, âhave you seen Minjeong?â
Your attempt to change the subject seems to work, because Sunghoon scoffs loudly at your question and shoves his phone back in his pocket. âHave I seen the girl that just spent ten minutes yelling at me? Yeah, we may have crossed paths.â He says sarcastically, shaking his head before taking a sip of his drink.
âYell at you? For what?â
âShe fuckinââŚI guess before we broke up she said I should dress up as a cop for Halloween and I mustâve said no, and now sheâs saying I only dressed up like this,â he gestures towards himself, âto spite her. Fuckinâ insanity.â
âWell, did you?â You canât help but ask, Minjeong would always go on for hours about how spiteful of a person Sunghoon was.
He shrugs, mindlessly tracing the rim of the red solo cup with his pointer finger, âMaybe, but this is all that was left in my size at the party store.â
Youâre surprised Sunghoon makes you laugh as much as he does, and maybe thatâs a bad thing since itâs making you enjoy talking to him. Though he technically isnât your enemy, heâs definitely not a person you should enjoy having a conversation with. Itâs not appropriate, heâs the ex boyfriend of your best friend; all your ties to him were cut the moment Minjeong broke up with him.
You should tell him to leave, that youâre really upset over Heeseung and prefer to be alone, but you donât. Instead, you keep the conversation going, laughing every joke he makes and completely forgetting why you were upset to begin with.
Halfway through telling Sunghoon about the horrid drink Minjeong had prepared for you, your legs grow numb from having been sat on for so long. You untuck them from underneath your body, not thinking much of it as you continue on with the story, legs dangling against the cold washing machine.
Sunghoon takes notice, though, his eyes quickly darting down to the space between your legs and the white fabric thatâs suddenly visible to him due to the short length of your skirt. You miss it the first time he does it, but the second and third time are hard to ignore, especially now that he doesnât seem to mind being caught.
You really should cross your legs or call him out on his staring. Or maybe even get up and leave entirely.
To no oneâs surprise you donât do either of those things and opt to keep your panties visible enough for Sunghoon to see while you continue to talk his ear off about his ex-girlfriend. Thereâs something unspoken happening between the two of you, and itâs exciting yet confusing since this is the longest conversation youâve had with him in the two years youâve known each other.Â
The strangest part of it all is that youâre just now realizing how attractive Sunghoon is, Sure, heâd always been a good looking guy, but youâd always seen him as Minjeongâs property and never paid much attention to his face out of respect for her.
But Minjeong no longer has a claim on him, and now you really notice the perfectly placed moles that graced the side of his nose and under his eye. He really was a sight to behold, you often find yourself stumbling over your words as you speak to him, becoming flustered over the intensity of the eye contact heâd been making with you.
ââŚmy throat is still burning and itâs been, like, twenty minutes.â You say with a laugh, watching as Sunghoon finishes off his own drink.
He sets the empty cup down, licking the remaining alcohol on his lips before smacking them, âYeah, I wouldnât trust her in a kitchen. Iâm not that good either, though. There was this one time I had to make brownies for our hockey teamâs bake sale and they turned out awful. Itâs like, half of them were watery and the other half were burnt. So weird.â
âThat doesnât even sound possible.â
âIâm serious! Hold on, I probably have a picture.âÂ
It takes Sunghoon approximately forty-five seconds of scrolling through his Snapchat memories to find a photo of those godforsaken brownies, and sure enough, they really are a watery, burnt mess. Not that you can even focus on the picture to begin with now that heâs sitting next to you on the washing machine, and youâre finally able to see him up close.
Sunghoonâs words go in one ear and out the other, because now youâre close enough to smell the cologne heâs dabbed on the back of his neck, and notice the metal handcuffs hooked in his belt loop, and it makes it hard to focus on anything else. Especially his uninteresting story about those stupid fucking brownies.
When Sunghoon locks his phone, you take it as a sign that heâs finished with his story and let out another laugh, âNot sure what I was expecting, but it wasnât that.â
âIâm a man of many talents,â he jokes, slightly slurring his words.Â
Maybe itâs the fact that his voice sounds deeper than usual, or that heâs staring right at you with half lidded eyes, or that he's started playing with the handcuffs on his waist, but Sunghoon looks dangerously attractive right now.Â
You gulp, looking down at your lap, âWell, at least one of us had a nice drink.â
Sunghoon nods, running his fingernails along your plastic raincoat, âWanna taste mine?â He asks, eyes darting down to your lips for a split second.
If there was ever a time to get up and leave, it shouldâve been now. The rational part of your brain is telling you to push Sunghoon away and return to the party and forget this encounter with him ever happened. But you canât move, and if youâre being honest, you donât even want to.
Youâre stuck in place, heart beating out of your chest as Sunghoon leans in closer to you. You feel dizzy in the best way possible, and a part of you feels sick for enjoying the moment as much as you do.Â
His breath fans your cheek, and the faint scent of alcohol on it shouldâve been enough to remind you that you shouldnât be in this situation with him. Still, you donât move.
Right before Sunghoon has the chance to kiss you, the door swings open and you jolt away from each other out of shock, clutching your chest as you watch Jake jog into the garage.
âYou guys seen my vape?â he asks, a little out of breath.
âIâŚno, Jake. Why would it be in the garage?â Sunghoon asks, hopping down from the washing machine. He offers a hand to help you down and you ignore it, finally starting to come back to your senses.
âDude, I donât fucking know! It was just in my pocket and now itâs gone, it could be anywhere. Help me look!â
Spending your night in a garage helping Jake look for a strawberry-flavored vape doesnât sound ideal in the slightest; now is the perfect time to leave.
Heading in the direction of the party, you pause when Sunghoon calls out your name, a slight shakiness to his voice. âKeep an eye out for me, yeah?â
Another beat of silence passes, then you nod and say, âYeah.â
In your defense, thereâs nothing to feel guilty over. All you did was have a conversation with Sunghoon, and keeping an eye out for him doesnât necessarily mean anything else will happen, right?
You try not to think too much about it as you exit the garage, holding in a laugh when Sunghoon says something along the lines of, âYouâre a grown ass man, Jake.â
What Minjeong lacks in cooking, she makes up for in dancing.
While you wouldnât consider yourself to be on her level of dancing, youâd say youâre good enough to keep up with her at a crowded party. If swaying to the music, holding hands, and grinding on each other counts as dancing, that is.
âYouâre too stiff; loosen up, babe,â she comments, fingers interlocked with yours.
âSorry,â you reply, slightly frustrated since you donât feel like dancing in the first place. âWhat were you saying?â
âOh, yeah!â Minjeong turns to face you, moving your arms to drape them around her shoulders. âThen he said I was being crazy, and that he only got the costume because it was all that was left in his size, as if I believe that.â
âSorry that happened,â you say, and it comes out more sarcastic than you had intended it to.Â
Minjeong takes notice of this, raising a brow at you before slipping her arms under your raincoat and pulling you closer to her. âYou okay?â
The two of you are pressed so close up against each other that it almost feels romantic, and youâre sure if there was another drink in your system youâd probably lean in and kiss her.Â
You nod. âJust thinking about Heeseung.â
Fake offended, Minjeongâs jaw drops. âYouâre dancing with the hottest girl at this party, and all you can think about is your ex? Iâm hurt, YN.â
Truth be told, her ex was the one you were thinking about, certainly not your own.
Not a whole lot of time has passed since you left Sunghoon in the garage, but you make sure to keep your promise of keeping an eye out for him upon returning to the party. Youâre certain that on the outside you probably look panicked and frantic, eyes darting all over the place for any sign of Sunghoon.
âWell,â Minjeong starts, tugging on your tie. âSince youâre thinking about your ex, itâs only fair that I think of mine; and there he is.â
You stop yourself from excitedly shouting, âWhere?!â and watch as Minjeong subtly nods towards the staircase.
Sure enough, Sunghoon is leaning against the banister, eyes zeroing in on you with his hands shoved in his pockets.
âHeâs been watching me for, like, ten minutes. Probably wants to see if you and I will make out, fucking pervert,â she says, rolling her eyes.
Minjeong has it wrong, Sunghoon has been watching you for the past ten minutes. Ever since he finished helping Jake find that stupid vape, heâs had his sights set on you and you only.
That other part was probably true, though.
You swallow the lump in your throat and say, âSuch a pervert.â It comes out a tad more robotic than you were going for, but you tried your best.Â
Once Sunghoon is sure that Minjeong is distracted, he mouths, âBathroom,â before immediately turning around and jogging up the steps.
Fuck, are you really about to do this?Â
Your eyes dart from Minjeong to the staircase, and you canât believe youâre even considering going upstairs to meet her ex. Everything about this predicament is sick and twisted and perfectly on brand for Halloween.Â
But, somehow, itâs not sick enough to stop you.
âHey, I think Iâm gonna get some air; Iâm feeling kinda dizzy,â you lie, hoping itâs believable enough.
Minjeong stops dancing immediately, a look of genuine concern on her face. âHere, Iâll come with you.â
âNo, no. You keep having fun, Iâll be back soon. Make another drink for me, okay? Iâm sure Iâll need it,â you assure her with a smile, taking her hands into yours.
âFine, Iâll be here. But the only drink Iâm making for you is a Ginger Ale.â
Thank God.
After giving Minjeong a kiss on the cheek (feeling guilty as ever), you slip past her and head towards the direction of the backyard. Once Minjeong is fully out of sight, you switch paths and sprint up the staircase, bumping into and angering a few people along the way.Â
You keep your head down once you reach the second floor, speed walking to the end of the hallway and avoiding eye contact with everyone you walk by until you reach the bathroom.
The door is closed and locked, of course, and thatâs when it dawns on you that this could be one big, elaborate prank from Sunghoon. You could open the door and be met with a camera in your face with Sunghoon recording, laughing maniacally before mentioning something about telling Minjeong everything and that he stayed loyal to her the entire time.
Unfortunately for you, even that possibility doesnât scare you away from knocking on the door and saying, âItâs me, YN.â
The knob twists before the door is pushed open, barely enough room to slide in discreetly, but you manage anyway.
Using your body weight to press the door shut, Sunghoon reaches behind you to make sure itâs locked. âYou really came.â
You hate that he sounds shocked, as if he had some faith that you wouldnât risk your friendship with Minjeong for a few minutes with him, of all people. Heâs not even your type.
âDonât make a big deal out of this.â
Sunghoon scoffs as if youâve said the most obvious thing in the world. âTrust me, I wonât.â
You donât have time to overthink the meaning of his words because before you can even realize it, Sunghoon is pushing you further up against the door, and heâs kissing you, finally kissing you.
This kiss is everything but soft, and it knocks the wind out of you. Sunghoonâs hand cups your jaw, tilting your head sideways to allow himself further into your mouth. Itâs wet and sloppy, youâre certain that dancing with Minjeong was far more romantic than this. You kiss back anyway, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and grabbing a fistful of his hair, shivers running down your spine when he groans into your mouth. Without breaking the kiss, Sunghoon reaches down to slip the raincoat off of you, pressing your body closer against him to ease it off.Â
He pulls away slowly, his blown-out eyes focused on the string of saliva that connects your mouths to one another. âFuck,â he groans at the sight, moving his mouth to kiss along your jaw.
You let out a moan when you feel his tongue slide against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, tilting your head back against the door. Sunghoon takes notice of this, focusing his attention on that same spot, sucking on it hard enough to leave a mark before teasingly scraping his canines along the area.
Quickly, your fingers move to unbutton your shirt, suddenly feeling warm all over. Youâre only halfway done when thereâs a sudden banging on the other side of the door, startling you enough to halt your movements.
âIgnore it,â Sunghoon mutters against your neck. âTheyâll go away.â
They donât go away, they actually start to bang louder and harder once a few seconds pass.
Sunghoon lets out a frustrated sigh, lifting his head away from you, âOccupied!â
âSunghoon?â You hear Minjeongâs voice on the other side of the door, causing you and Sunghoon both to freeze.
âM-Minjeong?â He stutters.
âI have to piss,â Minjeong whines, messing with the doorknob. âHurry up!â
Sunghoon must sense your panic and the fact that you feel like bursting into loud sobs, because he places his hand over your mouth before mouthing for you to stay quiet.
Minjeong doesnât let up on trying to open the door, and youâre sure that with just enough force, she could probably get it open.
âIâm using it! Canât you just go outside?â
âIâm a fucking girl, Sunghoon. Just hurry up and finish.â
âJustâŚjust hold on a second, Minnie.â
Minnie? Fuck is that about?
Sunghoon pulls you away from the door, keeping his voice and movements as low as possible. âYouâre gonna have to hide in the bathtub, just lay down flat and wait for her to leave.â
âWhat?! What if she sees me?!â You whisper, silently praying Minjeong canât hear you over the music.
âShe wonât, okay? Iâll pull the shower curtain back. Itâs the only option we have right now unless you want to jump out the window.â
You shake your head. âThere has to be a better idea.â
On the other side of the door, Minjeong begins to grow impatient, anxiously tapping her foot against the floor. Sheâs had three full drinks and is on the verge of busting the bathroom door down if Sunghoon doesnât open it soon. She focuses her gaze downward, raising a brow at a piece of plastic thatâs been slightly pushed under the crack of the door. What is it? A shower curtain? It canât be, why would the shower curtain be on the floor? It looks more likeâŚ
âFuck! The cops!â A drunk voice yells before the entire house panics, sirens and flashing blue and red lights fill the house.
Inside the bathroom, Sunghoon had still been trying to convince you to lay down in the bathtub when even more panic sets in.
Minjeong bangs on the door one last time. âSunghoon, the cops are here, you need to leave! Fuck, I gotta find YN!â She yells before taking off down the hall.
Police officers are raiding the house, and all Minjeong can focus on is finding you and making sure you're okay, while you were seconds away from hooking up with her ex. What a fucking nightmare.
âWe gotta jump out the window,â Sunghoon says, hurrying over to the other side of the bathroom and forcing the window open.
âWhat?! Why?!â
âPeople are doing fucking illegal drugs at this party, YN, and now the fucking cops are here. My dad works for the city and if-â He pauses to grunt, struggling to get the window all the way open. â-news spreads that his son was at a house party that was full of people doing fucking cocaine his career will be fucking over. Fuck!â
This doesnât explain why you have to jump out of the window with him, but you narrow it down to the possibility of Sunghoon just wanting to be around you for a little longer. And as pathetic as it sounds, you find yourself smiling at the possibility.
Sunghoon finally gets the window fully open, quickly hiking one leg over. âItâs not that far of a jump, weâll be fine. Iâll go first then let you know when to jump.â
âYouâll catch me?â you ask, buttoning your shirt back up. Now that the raincoat is gone, you probably resemble a perverted schoolgirl costume.
Sunghoon sighs. âYes, YN, I am going to catch you. Just be ready to run, my carâs down the street.â
He doesnât give you any time to protest before hiking his other leg out the window and jumping down; you watch in horror as he lands face down. If it werenât for your current predicament, youâre sure you wouldâve gotten the ick.
It takes Sunghoon a few seconds to get back up, brushing himself off before standing, âCome on! Hurry!â
Despite your hesitancy, you follow Sunghoonâs action and hike a leg out of the window, staring down at him. âAre you sure about this?!â
âIf you want me to catch you, you better jump now!â
Halloween fucking sucks.
You swear to yourself as you hike your other leg out of the window, saying a quick prayer as you brace yourself to jump.
Sunghoon doesnât exactly catch you, but he does brace your fall, which is good enough for you.Â
He groans in pain from the impact as you stand and dust yourself off, reaching a hand down to help him up. âSorry!â
Sunghoon stands, feeling a tad bit dizzy and lightheaded. âJust follow me.â
It isnât too late to turn around and find Minjeong and just leave with her. In fact, itâd be the morally correct thing to do in this situation. Not that you seem to care for morals.
You make a mental note to send Minjeong a text later as you run after Sunghoon.
Sunghoon is not that great of a driver, but this doesn't surprise you.
He's still somewhat tipsy, occasionally swerving along the empty back roads.
What makes it worse is that Minjeong has been calling and texting you nonstop, your phone practically burning a hole in your pocket as you ignore her relentless attempts.
Sunghoon is trying his hardest to stay focused on the road, but your phone ringing every few minutes was really starting to irritate him. "Just fucking answer her," he says, shaking his head.
"And say what? That I'm with you?"
Sunghoon isn't too pleased with your sarcasm and rolls his eyes, "Obviously not, YN; just do something to make her stop panicking."
That's way easier said than done, especially considering that you can barely even think about Minjeong without wanting to burst into tears. The guilt has already started to set in, and it has you questioning yourself and your morals.
You can't talk to Minjeong; it's too risky, but you can call your sister and ask her to cover for you.
Slipping your phone from your pocket, you force your eyes to unfocus and ignore the string of missed calls and messages from Minjeong, dialing your sister's phone number with trembling hands.
As always, Yuna answers on the fourth ring, sighing loudly into the phone before greeting you with a monotonous, "Hello?"
"Hey, um, I need you to help me with something," you keep your voice low, not wanting Sunghoon to hear your conversation despite being right next to him.
Yuna sighs again, "With what, YN?"
"The party I was at got raided by the cops, and we all ran, so if Minjeong calls you, I need you to tell her I'm with you," you say, your eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets when Sunghoon makes a sudden sharp turn.
"Sorry," he mutters under his breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter.
You hate that even now, you find him cute.
"Well, where are you?" Yuna asks, snapping you back to reality.
"I⌠it's not important, just please do me this favor."
Your sister scoffs, "You expect me to lie for you, and you can't even tell me the full story?"
"The full story isn't important, Yuna."
"Clearly, it is if you're asking me to lie to your best friend."
"Just tell her," Sunghoon groans, sounding slightly annoyed, "but make sure she doesn't tell anyone else."
Yuna doesn't have many friends, and the few she does have wouldn't even care about your drama, so it's not like she'd have anyone to share your business with. You hesitate anyway because of the principle of the situation, how just ten minutes ago you were unbuttoning your shirt for your best friend's ex. Maybe you're starting to come back to your senses because replaying the scene in your head has you cringing from embarrassment.
You lean your head against the window and squeeze your eyes shut, "I'm with Sunghoon."
The line goes silent for a few seconds, and you're worried you may have lost service from driving in such a rural area until Yuna sighs for a third time, "The pretty ones are never that bright."
"I swear it isn't like that," you plead, "just, please, help me out."
"And what will I get out of this?"
Of course, she wants something, classic younger sibling bullshit.
"Well, what do you want?"
"I don't knowâŚa normal older sister?"
"Yuna, I don't have time for this, will you help me or not?"
Bickering with Yuna was starting to give you a headache; you were seconds away from hanging up and coming up with a new plan entirely.
"After tonight, don't involve me in this anymore; I have my own shit to deal with."
You hold back a laugh at that as if Yuna does anything other than stay home and talk to the same two people. "I won't, I swear. I'll text you when I'm close to being home; let me know if Minjeong reaches out to you."
"Whatever, just get home safe and don't do anything else stupid," Yuna says through a yawn before immediately hanging up, not giving you the chance to say goodbye.
As much as you loved your sister, the two of you weren't exactly close. The divide started sometime during high school; your interests and friend groups never really aligned and only led you to stray further away from each other.
You being fairly well-known within your high school didn't help much, either. Countless random students would approach Yuna on the daily, asking if you were seeing anyone, begging her for your number, or even giving her small gifts and treats to pass along to you.Â
What annoyed her the most was that they never called her by her name, in their eyes, she was always known as "YN's sister", and nothing more than that.
You're sure Yuna doesn't hate you because of it, but it certainly didn't make her very fond of you.
"What'd she say?" Sunghoon asks, interrupting your thoughts.
"She agreed to cover for me tonight," you respond, gazing out the window, "pretty sure she's pissed, though."
"She'll get over it," Sunghoon taps the navigation system on his dashboard, "type in your address."
Despite making you jump out of a bathroom window, Sunghoon technically doesn't owe you anything. He never claimed he'd bring you back to his place to finish what you started; you quite literally only jumped because he told you to, under the pretense that maybe â just maybe â he'd want to hook up with you.Â
Clearly, that wasn't happening, at least not tonight. Having to jump out the window and then proceed to drive while tipsy must've knocked some sense into him, making him realize he'd been making way too many questionable choices all in one night.Â
You let out a disappointed sigh, hesitantly reaching out to type your home address into the car's GPS. The system buffers for a few seconds as it calculates the quickest route to your home before displaying an estimated travel time of thirty-eight minutes.
"Forty fucking minutes?!" Sunghoon shouts, causing you to jump.Â
He sighs, cursing under his breath before reaching forward and ending the navigation route. You sit up further in the seat, ready to ask Sunghoon what he's plotting before he starts typing "7/11".
You raise a brow at this, "Why're we going there?"
Sunghoon gestures towards the navigation system as if the answer is obvious, "Your house is forty minutes away, and I'm still kinda tipsy; I'm gonna need to pull over and get something other than alcohol in my system if I'm gonna be driving for that long." There's a slight slur to his words that had you weary about him driving, so pulling over to recharge isn't a bad idea.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Sunghoon managed to safely drive the two of you to the nearest 7/11, opting to pay seventeen dollars to park in a parking garage down the street instead of the shop's personal lot.
"This neighborhood isn't that safe; I don't want anyone breaking into my car," he claims, taking up two spots as he parks in the most secluded corner possible.
The neighborhood is fairly safe; he was just being dramatic.
The walk down the street is quick and slightly awkward, with you and Sunghoon stumbling every few steps yet refusing to hold onto the other for stability.
The two of you go your separate ways upon entering the shop, Sunghoon headed straight towards the snack aisle while you make your way to the slurpee machines. The difference in your priorities was humorous, with him wanting to focus on building up energy and you wanting nothing more than a quick sugar fix.
Blue raspberry isn't necessarily your go-to flavor, but it's the only flavor on the Slurpee machine that's currently working, so you fill your plastic cup to the brim before absentmindedly reaching for a straw.
Sunghoon is still prancing around the store by the time you've finished making your drink, and despite not being that hungry, you decide to kill time by strolling through the snack aisles.
The Snickers bars and Reese's Cups look tempting as always, but you refrain, sighing as you look over the selection of peanut-contaminated candy.
"Don't even bother," Sunghoon says from behind you, causing you to gasp in shock.Â
He pauses for a moment, staring at the array of snacks before grabbing a pack of Skittles and walking off.
The thought of Sunghoon being aware of your peanut allergy is as comforting as it is strange. You can't imagine this is something Minjeong randomly decided to tell him, and even if that is the case, why would he bother retaining that information? It's not like the two of you are friends.
Whatever, you're probably thinking about it too much.
After deciding on a package of powdered mini donuts and Haribo gummy bears, you proceed to the checkout counter and set your items down, looking over your shoulder at Sunghoon, who was selecting the last of his items.
The man behind the counter smiles at you, typing his employee ID number into the cash register, "How's your night going?"
"Horrible," you say, making the clerk laugh even though you weren't joking.
"Sorry to hear that," he responds, scanning your items, "your total came out toâŚ$6.12. Oh, hello, officer."
Despite not having done anything wrong, you nearly panic before remembering Sunghoon's unfortunate costume choice.
He nods at the man, setting his own items down on the counter, "Add these too. You guys take Apple Pay?" He asks, unlocking his phone.
"Oh, you don't have to pay for mine," you say, a nervous tremble in your voice.
Sunghoon shrugs, "No big deal."
Except it is a big deal. Sunghoon behaving like a boyfriend gentleman by paying for your items only made you like him even more, which is the exact opposite of what you need right now.
You sigh, taking a literal and metaphorical step back as Sunghoon taps his phone on the card reader.Â
"A cop and a schoolgirl, huh? These couple's costumes are starting to make less and less sense," the employee comments, eyes darting between you and Sunghoon.Â
"We're not a couple," Sunghoon responds, a little too quickly for your liking, but whatever.
The employee apologizes, embarrassed about his implications as he bags your items and wishes the two of you a safe trip home.
On the way back to Sunghoon's car, it dawns on you that Minjeong has stopped trying to get ahold of you, which is slightly worrisome considering that she's a person who wouldn't give up that easily.Â
Sunghoon climbs into the backseat this time, mumbling something about needing to rest and stretch out before driving you home. He sets the bag down on the center console, grabbing a few of his items before propping himself up against the door.
You do the same, retrieving your own items from the bag before slumping into your seat.Â
When you finally unlock your phone, a new voice memo from Yuna is waiting for you. Hesitantly, you hold your phone against your ear and hit play.
Yuna lets out a loud sigh, "So, you and Minjeong must have some sort of, like, telepathic connection because she called me as soon as I hung up on you. Anyways, I told her our cousin was also at the party and was able to, uh, give you a ride home once the cops came. Oh, and I told her your phone died and that you'd call her, um, later or in the morning. I'm not sure if she believed it, but she calmed down.
And, by the way, I meant it when I said I don't want to be involved in whatever this is after tonight. So, for everyone's sake, if something serious is going on, do not tell me about it. Get home safe."
You're not entirely sure if you deserve a sister like Yuna, who'd go against her own morals just to cover for you, but you're grateful you have her.
you [11:54 pm] : *you liked a voice memo*
you [11:54 pm] : thanks so much
you [11:55 pm] : i promise i wont involve u anymore. if minnie calls again u can just ignore it and lmk please
yuna [11:56 pm] : oh and she told me to let you know that she's safe. tho im sure that's not your biggest concern :/
Harsh but true.
You set your phone on your lap and tear open your pack of donuts, wiping away the powdered sugar that falls onto your blouse. Much like the blue raspberry slurpee, mini powdered donuts weren't exactly your go-to snack, but your options were limited, and you weren't in the mood to roam around the store any longer.
Suddenly, Sunghoon groans from the backseat and sits up, "Phone died."
Leaning over the center console, he plugs his phone into the car charger right underneath his navigation system, resting it on the dashboard before returning to his seat.Â
The car falls silent, and as much as you want to start a conversation, you're not sure where to begin. There's so much you want to ask, but you refrain, biting down on your tongue so hard you're surprised the taste of blood doesn't fill your mouth.
Sunghoon leans forward again, this time resting his cheek on the side of your seat, "What'd you get?" he asks, staring down at your lap.
You turn your head to look at him, holding up the half-eaten pack of donuts for him to see.
"Can I have one?" he asks, already holding his hand out before you could even say yes.
You hand him one regardless, watching the powder fall from the pastry as he pops it into his mouth.
Your curiosity gets the best of you, and you find yourself narrowing your eyes at him as you ask, "Sunghoon, can I ask you something?"
He nods, gesturing towards the remaining donuts in a way that tells you he wants more. You hand him the remaining three, nodding back when he mumbles "Thanks" under his breath.
"How did you know that I'm allergic to peanuts?"
Sunghoon pauses, brows furrowing in utter confusion as he looks up at you, "What do you mean?"
"Earlier in the store, I was looking at the peanut candy, and you told me not to bother. I'm assuming you must've known I'm allergic, right?" You ask, fully turning around in your seat to face him.
"UmâŚyeah. I know."
"OkayâŚhow?"
"I mean, was it supposed to be a secret or something?"
"What? No, of course not. Allergies are probably the one thing that shouldn't be kept secret," you respond, "I'm just curious about how you know. I don't think I've ever told you, and I can't imagine Minjeong randomly deciding to tell you."
Sunghoon awkwardly scratches the back of his neck as he avoids looking at you. It takes the tips of his ears turning pink for you to realize that he's embarrassed, which only confuses you even further.
Sunghoon shrugs, staring down at the snack you've just given him, "Whenever all of us would hang out, and there was, like, food involved, I just noticed you'd pay so much attention to the ingredients of whatever it was you were eating. At first, I thought it was a calorie thing, but you never really asked about the calories, only the ingredients."
"But, how'd you know it was peanuts specifically?" you ask, feeling embarrassed about how curious you were over something as silly as a peanut allergy.
"Remember the hockey team bake sale? The one I made those terrible brownies for?" He asks, continuing when you nod, "You were there, and I remember how excited you were to try the cookies that Jake made, but right before you bought one, you asked him if there were peanuts in them. That's when I knew."
You can't remember the last time someone had paid this much attention to you, and it's dangerous, considering how easily impressed you are by the smallest things. Sunghoon was by no means a friend of yours; you hardly knew anything about each other and often kept your interactions rather short, so his being able to pick up on your peanut allergy just by watching you was ⌠different. Maybe even nice.
You don't even realize you've been staring at him until he stops chewing and stares back, unblinking.
You look away, retrieving your Slurpee from the cup holder and taking a long sip as Sunghoon watches.
"Can I ask you something now?" he asks.
You don't respond, side-eyeing him as you continue to sip your drink.
Sunghoon smirks, amused by your sudden silence, "Why'd you meet me in the bathroom?"
You pull the straw away from your lips, voice barely above a whisper as you respond, "To see what you wanted."
He nods, taking the cup from your hands, "You knew what I wanted," he says, pausing to take a sip of your drink, "and you still came; why?"
When you don't respond, Sunghoon lets out a loud sigh and sets your cup back down in its holder, "It's okay, YN."
"It isn't."
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I guess we'll never know, huh?"
This is a test of your morals, and Sunghoon knows this. Every decision you've made tonight has led you to this exact moment. There's still enough time to redeem yourself and make an excuse for your actions. You could easily lie and say that making out with Sunghoon was just a result of being tipsy and vulnerable. But now, with the two of you in his car, sobering up and coming back down to your senses, you won't be able to use those same excuses.
Realistically speaking, what are the chances of your ex's finding out? Heeseung probably wouldn't care, but Minjeong was an entirely different story.
In your defense, they've been officially broken up for three weeks and three days, so you wouldn't technically be hooking up with her boyfriend. Right?
Sunghoon must've sensed the gears turning in your head because, after a few seconds of staring at each other in silence, he leaned over the center console and pressed his lips against yours.
The kiss is softer this time, nothing like how it was in the bathroom as if he's trying to coax you in and convince you it's okay, that you're doing nothing wrong.
You find yourself slipping under his spell, eyes finally fluttering shut as he gently swipes his tongue across your bottom lip. The faint taste of alcohol is still on his tongue, but he does taste much sweeter now, like the blue raspberry slurpee he'd just had. A part of you wonders if he'd done that on purpose as if tasting better would make you enjoy kissing him like this.
He pulls away, scooting farther back into his seat, "C'mere, climb over."
You do as you're told, slipping off your shoes with Sunghoon guiding you right onto his lap as you climb into the backseat. You can't help but squirm on his lap, and he can still sense a slight hesitancy in your actions, the way you shiver when he touches you, how you initially pulled back when he tried to kiss you again.
"You're nervous," he comments, eye flickering across your face.
You shrug, holding onto his shoulders for support, "I can't help it."
Beneath you, Sunghoon reaches down to unclip the handcuffs from his belt loop, "You're making it hard to focus."
"The fuck am I supposed to do, then?!" You didn't mean to shout, but your patience was starting to run thin. You felt guilty enough as it is, and Sunghoon reminding you of how nervous you are certainly didn't make it any better.
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, undoing the handcuffs before grabbing your left hand. He tightens the cuff around your wrist, "Just trust me," he says simply. He sits up further in his seat, grabbing your cuffed wrist as he pulls down on the car's grab handle. He slips the empty cuff through the slot before gesturing for you to give him your free hand.
Fuck.
"SunghoonâŚ"
"Just trust me," he doesn't wait for a response, grabbing your wrist and bringing it up towards the empty cuff. It locks around your wrist with a click, causing him to smile in satisfaction.Â
You're sure that with just the right amount of force, you could easily snap the handcuffs in half, but it's the thought that counts. With your arms and hands restricted towards the ceiling, all you can do is stare down at Sunghooon and await his next movement, his very calculated movement.
He presses his cold lips against your neck, simultaneously using his hands to slowly unbutton your blouse. The mark he'd left on your neck earlier was as prominent as ever, and it pleased him to know you were okay with him marking you up like this. He swipes his tongue against the sensitive spot, hardening in his pants when you squirm on top of him.Â
His nails trace along the bare skin of your waist once he's finished unbuttoning your blouse, your bralette â that was a few sizes too small â fully on display for him. He's practically salivating at the site, his tongue sliding across his canines, completely in awe of your breasts spilling out of the flimsy, white material.
Sunghoon can't unclasp and slide off your bra, or else it'd be awkwardly hanging in the air, and trying to slip it through the handcuffs would take too much effort. Instead, he apologizes under his breath before his hands reach the front of your bra.
"Wait, Sunghoonâ!"
Without warning, he stretches the fabric until it finally rips, seemingly pleased with himself if the cocky smirk is anything to go by. "Relax," he says, "I'll buy you a new one."
You don't have time to scold him because before you can even process what's happening, Sunghoon's tongue is swirling around your nipple. You swear at the sudden contact, arching your back and pressing your chest further into his face. It's almost embarrassing how such a simple act already had your head spinning.
His hands trail downward until they reach the hem of your skirt, slowly pushing it upwards until it's bunched around your waist. He traces the tip of his finger across your clothes cunt, pleased with how wet you've already gotten without having done much.
Your hips buck up into his hands on instinct, desperate for the friction, borderline craving it.
Sunghoon releases your perked bud in his mouth, looking up at you as he asks, "You want me to stop?"
"No, please don't." You beg.
"So this is okay then, right?"
If your wrists weren't handcuffed to the grab handle, you're sure you would've reached down and choked him for all the teasing. "Yes, Sunghoon, it's okay! Just hurry up and do something!"
Sunghoon shakes his head at you, mumbling, "So impatient." as he moves to lie flat on his back.
You stare down at him, confused, when he doesn't immediately start undoing his pants but instead positions his head right between your thighs.
It's funny, Minjeong claimed Sunghoon wasn't really into giving head and only gave it to her a handful of times during the course of their relationship, claiming he preferred to save it for special occasions.
But yet, here he is, willingly pushing your thighs further apart before pressing his lips against your clothed cunt.
The action sends shivers down your spine, and the handcuffs around your wrist suddenly feel tighter. He presses his tongue flat against you, groaning at the taste of your slick that's soaked through your panties. You grind down on him instinctively, your body trembling with anticipation as you squeeze your eyes shut.
"Fuck." You whisper, tugging at the handcuffs in frustration.
The sound of the metal clinking makes Sunghoon chuckle, pressing a final kiss against your damped underwear before mumbling, "Cute."
He makes quick work of sliding your underwear off your legs, tossing them to theÂ
front seat with a grunt as you wait for him to continue. Sunghoon settles himself between your thighs again, groaning in annoyance as you hover over him. "Stop fucking hovering," he demands, attempting to pull you down directly onto his face, "it's fine."
It's too intimate; you've never even sat on Heeseung's face before, and you're sure this isn't something he's done with Minjeong.
"But, I don't wanna cru- fuck!"
Sunghoon dismisses your worries, forcing you down onto his face and instantly wrapping his lips around your clit. You barely have any time to process that this is completely new territory for you, being this intimate with a man, sitting right on his face while he drags his tongue along your cunt; gathering your wetness and dragging it up towards your clit before wrapping his lips around it once more.
You let out an embarrassingly loud moan at that, leaning your head against the cold window as your face heats up. This only encourages Sunghoon even further, and his confidence grows, feeling bold enough to tease the tip of his tongue into your hole.
You jolt up at this, biting back a moan and wishing you could reach down and grab a fistful of his hair and properly ride his face. He licks another stripe up your folds, gripping your thighs and holding your body in place when you try to squirm away.Â
"Stop trying to run from me," he groans into your pussy, the vibrations from his voice sending a shiver across your body.Â
He presses his face further into your cunt, moaning at how much wetter you've gotten since he's started. For a man who apparently wasn't one to eat a girl out, he sure did seem desperate and eager to have you come on his face. In fact, it almost seemed as if he was doing it for his own pleasure rather than yours, which only turns you on even more.
After a few more slides of his tongue, you finally feel your orgasm approaching, your thighs tensing around Sunghoon's head.
"I know you're close," he whispers, placing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on your inner thighs, "go ahead, use me. I know you want to."
He's practically begging at this point, big, wet eyes staring up at you in pure adoration as he sucks your clit back into his mouth. That's your breaking point, the knot in your stomach finally untying itself as your orgasm washes over you.
You let out a moan so loud that your throat hurts shortly afterward, your wrists going limp in the handcuffs as you ride out your high.
Sunghoon doesn't let up until you're practically shaking from overstimulation, your body naturally twitching and squirming away from his greedy mouth as he cleans you up. He pulls away finally, his mouth and chin completely coated with your slick as he leaves a trail of kisses on your bare thighs.
You can't help but stare down at him in awe; he looks completely dazed as if he's running off, nothing but pure desperation and lust for you. You.
"Sunghoon," you say, trying to get his attention, "IâŚdo you keep condoms in here?"
He flutters his eyes open, shaking his head, "No, but 7/11's just down the street. I can go-"
You interrupt him with a shake of your head, "I don't wanna wait; we don't need one."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm on the pill. Just, please, fuck me already."
It's music to his ears, really.
Sunghoon slides himself back up the seat, reaching up to release you from the handcuffs. You groan at this, having gotten used to them and quite frankly enjoyed the temporary feeling of restriction.
"You liked the cuffs?" Sunghoon questions, dropping your wrists from the grab bar.
"Yeah," you admit, "I liked it more than I thought I would."
He nods at this, and you realize now that one of the cuffs is still clasped around your wrist. Sunghoon also notices this and smirks as an idea forms in his head. "Turn around."
You comply with no further questions, groaning when he suddenly pushes your body down into the seat. He brings your arms behind your back, handcuffing you once more as he lets out a sigh of pleasure. "I knew you'd like it."
Sunghoon pushes your skirt back up, straddling himself around your things after pulling his pants and boxers far enough to allow his cock to spring free. He steadies himself with a hand on your shoulder, using the other to teasingly drag his fully-hardened cock across your slick folds.
Sunghoon shivers at this, cursing at the sight as he repeats his movements. He knows he won't last much longer; he was practically seconds away from coming in his boxers just from eating you out, so he really should quit with the teasing for his own sake.
Minjeong had never allowed him to fuck her without a condom, so this type of intimacy was new and overwhelmingly good.
He finally pushes himself into you, his tip alone causing you to bite down on the leather of his seat. You already felt so full, and he wasn't even halfway inside yet.
"Ah fuck," he groans, "you're so tight, you're soâŚfuck." He can barely even form a sentence, biting down on his bottom lip as he further inches himself inside of you.
You're not doing any better, feeling as if you're already seconds away from your second orgasm when he's hardly even done anything. It takes a minute before he's fully inside of you, pausing before he leans down and asks, "Can I move?"
"Please, I need you to."
Sunghoon nods at this, pressing a kiss against your ear before sitting himself back up. He angles your hips off the seat but presses your chest further into it, giving you (and himself) the perfect arch to comfortably slide in and out.
The first few thrusts are slow, as expected, but just enough to get you used to his size. Even this was all too much for Sunghoon; he was already dangerously close to his orgasm.
He didn't intend on speeding up his thrusts already, but he really can't help it. Everything about this feels too good. The way your walls perfectly wrap around him, and the way you're moaning and cursing for him to keep going are overwhelmingly good.
"Fuck." He moans, squeezing his eyes shut as he presses you down further into the backseat. He pulls his cock all the way out before pushing himself back in, which you seem to enjoy. He does it a few more times, mostly to humor himself since it's something he assumed you would've been annoyed by.
"Sunghoon," you pant, "I'm close."
"Already?" He asks, pushing your hips downwards until you're lying flat on your stomach.
He tries to come off as cocky and frustrated, but he really is grateful you're already so close to your orgasm, seeing that he felt like he could burst at any given second.
You nod, "Please, keep going."
He doesn't respond, opting to remain silent as you pull his cock out of you before ramming it back in at a pace much harder and faster than before. His thrusts are sloppy and borderline desperate, the sound of skin slapping and grunts filling the air shortly afterward.
The two of you could hardly keep your eyes open, too lost in the pleasure of your approaching orgasms.
Your's hits first, and Sunghoon's follows shortly after, practically filling you up to the brim with his cum. You've never felt so full and warm, heat spreading through your entire body as you slowly calm down and regulate hour breathing.
Sunghoon doesn't feel like moving, but he does anyway, slipping himself out of you with a wince, watching his cum drip out of you and onto the seat of the car. He curses at the sight, stopping himself from leaning forward and eating it out of you.
He undoes both of the handcuffs this time, helping you sit up as you avoid eye contact with each other. "Hold on," he says, re-adjusting his pants and boxers, "I should have a towel or something in the trunk."
Sunghoon steps out of the car, returning a minute later with a towel in hand. He leans down, prepared to clean you up, until you stop him, "It's okay, I got it."
He shakes his head, "I can do it for you."
"It's fine," you say, buttoning up your shirt, "I'd prefer to do it myself, actually."
Sunghoon finally gives in, handing you the towel before leaning over the center console and retrieving your panties from the passenger seat. He waits patiently for you to finish up, instructing you to just drop the towel on the floor as he hands you your underwear.
"Hey, have youâŚdo you think you've sobered up yet?" He asks, watching as you slip your panties back on.
"Yeah, why?"
"Before I met you in the bathroom, I took a few bites of an edible, and I think it's starting to kick in. I think you should drive."
You sigh, mostly because this was not at all what you'd been hoping he'd say. "Drive where? To your place? Then where would I go?"
"I can pay for your Uber home."
"Sunghoon, it's past midnight, and I'm a girl; taking an Uber this late is too dangerous."
"Then drive back to your place; I'll sleep in the car and drive off in the morning."
You groan, "No, Minjeong might visit me in the morning. What'll she think when she sees your car in my driveway?"
"Dammit, YN, then just spend the night at my place. You can take my bed, and I'll sleep on the couch; just please drive us somewhere, for fuck's sake."
Bickering with Sunghoon somehow doesn't annoy you; in fact, it feels almost domestic. Going back and forth like a real couple.
"Fine." You say, climbing into the driver's seat.
Sunghoon's phone falls off the dashboard in the process, now charged at twenty-eight percent, and apparently, a missed text from Minjeong that was sent a few minutes ago.
The jealousy that fills your chest is downright abnormal; Minjeong is your best friend; there's no real reason for you to feel jealous of her in the first place.Â
In fact, you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt at all; it's not like they're still together. They've been broken up for three weeks and three days.Â
Three weeks. And Three days.
#enhypen smut#enhypen imagine#park sunghoon#sunghoon smut#sunghoon imagine#lee heeseung#sim jaeyun#jake sim#enhypen scenarios#kpop imagine#kpop smut#kpop scenarios#sleepyhoon
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need overblot boys with epel, and floyd with a reader that randomly lore drops as if they're an old dad like "yeah lol my old school had a shooting once....anyways *SNOREE*" and when asked they just agree and walk away and never elaborate whatsoeverđ if you feel uncomfortable feel free to delete or ignoreâźď¸love ya pookieđĽ
*ŕŠâŠâ§âË a reader with a backstory
I got u đŤĄđŤĄ
summary: wacky reader lore type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
you find new ways to raise Riddle's blood pressure every day
little guy is worried enough as it is
you've already got your school work, taking care of Ramshackle, taking care of Grim, taking care of all the other freshmen, taking care of-
well... you get it
the last thing he needs is to hear another one of your stories
"oh, yeah, that's like the time I got stabbed"
"????? WHAT??"
what's entertaining to you and ADeuce is mortifying to Riddle
if you're not careful you'll end up sleeping on the floor in his room
where he can keep a close eye on you
*ŕŠâŠâ§âË
you're like Leona's little court jester
and he takes you with him everywhere
it's not easy to get a genuine laugh out of him, after all
besides, what's so bad about a little dark humor? it's not like you died or anything
he knows you're a resilient little thing
and you seem to love telling him about "that time you crawled into a drainage pipe", anyway
you make him laugh; he likes you
*ŕŠâŠâ§âË
Azul indulges you
his white noise machine stopped working last month and you make for excellent background ambience
so, he lets you talk yourself in circles about your school work, your friends, Grim, Grim again
and then you drop the most HEINOUS bombshells in the middle
"blah blah blah Grim, blah blah Crowley, blah blah, that one time I got lost in the woods for a day, blah blah-"
he loses his train of thought every time
now, Floyd is the complete opposite
he will hyperfocus on the most mundane details
and ignore the bombshells
will give you an, "oh, that's cool" to your ghost story but will find you the pair of socks you mentioned liking three months ago
*ŕŠâŠâ§âË
Jamil is just fascinated by you
you as a person, of course
but also the fact that you're still alive
one night, he's explaining the reason he makes all of Kalim's food and you're like
"oh, yeah, I get it. I got mold poisoning once and hallucinated for a week"
?????
then you go right back to asking him about the recipe
sitting on the counter, as happy as could be
"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!!!"
*ŕŠâŠâ§âË
Vil is used to this
he knows that look on your face
he will shush you with a finger to your lips before you even start
"don't tell me, I'm stressed enough as it is"
he's going to break out if you keep at it
he finds you quite... macabre
which is entertaining until he sees you going down a flight of stairs without holding onto the railing and remembers all those stories you'd told him
he's just... concerned for you, that's all
and he does NOT appreciate Epel for encouraging it
"tell us more about the time you fell down that hill into that pile of rocks, Prefect!"
:D
like a kid in a candy store
learning new Lore is like the highlight of his week
*ŕŠâŠâ§âË
"talk about having a high luck stat..."
Idia is more entertained than anything
he thought these kinds of things only happened in anime, but...
...there you are
it sounds like you experience more in a single month than he has in his whole life
and you know what?
GOOD
you can keep your freaky real-world experiences!
he'll just live vicariously through you
*ŕŠâŠâ§âË
poor Malleus
he's been putting so much effort into learning and blending with human culture, and now here you are with your terrifying stories
you tell him in such earnest, too
you seem so... unbothered by it
perhaps humans are less fragile than he thought?
of course, he shouldn't have underestimated you in the first place :)!
then you come over for dinner one night
"hahah, yeah, last time I was at someone's house their grandma threw a lamp at my head and I got a concussion"
Silver and Sebek both go >_>
Lilia goes <_<
and then Malleus is there like, "ah, another fascinating tale :)"
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Day 2 Meeting a new family member and Wire
âMy brother has moved to Gotham and I intend to visit them tonight as Robin.â Damian announced as everyone began to eat dinner.
âYou have. A brother?â Tim haltingly asked as he looked at Damian.
âTt. That is what I said. I advise not attempting to contact him unless he invites you into his home.â
âDamian. Why didnât you tell me you had a brother?â Bruce asked.
âIt was irrelevant. Danyal is older than me and had been deemed a failure by the time Mother and Grandfather decided to make me. I had been under the impression that he had been disposed of. In a way, I suppose he was, seeing as he was placed in the hands of some scientists who worked for the league.â
âBut heâs back. Do you know what he wants?â Tim asked as Bruce disassociated.
âHe would not go into detail but it seems that the scientists who raised him have found a purer and more radioactive Lazarus water. It is why I am meeting him tonight so he can turn over the more sensitive information without the league hearing about it.â
âDamian.â Bruce started before rethinking what he was going to say. âI would like to come with. He may be your brother but he is also an unknown.â
âI am aware Father. That is why I am telling you now. You cannot come with me but I will stay in contact and keep the com channel open throughout the entire exchange.â
âI would still preferâ
âFather. You will not come with. Danyal has expressly forbade you from meeting him.â
âThat makes this even more suspicious! If not me then at least bring Dick with you.â
âRichard is in Bloodhaven and will not be able to get here in a timely manner. I am going alone.â Damian said before standing up and walking off.
âDamian!â
âGive it a rest B. Heâs on a mission and I have a feeling heâll go alone no mater what you say. If anything we could try to tail him but I have a feeling heâll be on the lookout for that.â
âHn.â
đťđŚđťđŚ
âAkhi. You have fortified this place well.â Damian complimented as he walked into the office of the warehouse where Danny had made his base. It had been years since Danny had looked into the child that was meant to replace him after he failed one too many missions for Grandfather's liking. But to see that his little brother had managed to escape the league made Dannyâs core hum happily.
âThank you, Dams. But we arenât here for pleasantries.â Danny said as he walked over to the single desk in the room and pulled a thick file out of one of the drawers. âIn here is a brief rundown of the Fenton's research as well as a law that has recently passed that is in violation ofâ
Before Danny could finish talking there was a loud crash and a string of expletives.
âWhat the fuck! Who puts two wire traps mere inches from each other!â The voice shouted before the sound of a body hitting the floor. A few moments later the voice started yelling again as they fell into another trap.
âA friend of yours Dams?â Danny asked while he watched the door.
âA member of our family. Unfortunately. I had told Father not to come and I was hoping the fact that it was in Crime Allie would discourage Drake. I had not counted on Father getting Todd involved.â Damian sighed before walking over to the folder.
âAs long as he does not wake up the littles I could care less. Perhaps we should help him out?â Danny asked. Not noticing Damianâs head snapping up to stare at him.
âLittles? You did not inform me of anyone else.â
âHm. Long story short? You are an uncle to two little ones.â
âALL RIGHT! WHO SET UP ALL THOSE⌠Demon brat. I should have known.â Red Hood said as he barged into the office. Causing twin crys to echo from a door on the opposite side of the main door. âAre those?â
âYes, and your entrance has just woken up my kids. Dams? I have also left a number in the folder if you need to contact me. I will be off now.â Danny said as he began to walk towards the door the cries were coming from.
âThere is a family brunch every Wednesday at ten in the morning. I request you to be there so that I can meet the new members of our family. Father would also like to meet you.â Damian said while ignoring Jasonâs stuttering.
âI will think about it. Until next time Dams.â Danny replied before disappearing through the door.
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Just a Crush || OP81
â summary: Swimmer, y/n, is headed to the olympics and little does she know sheâs f1 driver oscar piastriâs celebrity crush
â pairing: oscar pisatri x olympian!reader
â f/c and warnings: none
â requested: this was suggested!! tysm for the wonderful idea for a swimmer reader đŤśđť
ďž. âż ŕ¨â¤ď¸ŕ§â âż . ďžâ
ynuser made a post

liked by yourbff, thenzteam, vogue, yoursibling, oscarpiastri, iamrebeccad, and 87,457 others
ynuser: your girl is in her model era đż thank you to vogue for having me! make sure to check out the july issue where i talk about what it means to me to be headed to the olympics to represent new zealand, my daily routines, and my life outside of swimming! see you all in paris đ¤
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yourbff: you are so effortlessly gorgeous please đŤ
thenzteam: we are lucky to have you y/n!
user1: my favorite kiwi
user2: omg not y/n revealing sheâs a huge fan of f1!! wait till oscar hears about this
user3: oscar who?
user2: heâs a formula 1 driver who has a massive crush on y/n
user3: omg not a vroom vroom aussie for my girl đ
user4: stop they would be perfect đ they give the same energy
user2: heâs hiding in the likes đ
iamrebeccad: some of the best shots iâve ever seen! congrats on being in vogue and going to the olympics â¤ď¸
ynuser: i took notes from the pro đŤśđť
user2: omg rebecca is here too
williamsracing has posted a video

user12: LOSCAR MY LOVES
user5: alex and logan are my fav duo im going to miss them so much
user6: james when i catch you!!! how dare you break up our family
user4: GUYS Y/N MENTIONED
user9: the way oscar blushes omg
user10: mans is down bad we have to get her to notice him
user11: alex best be texting lily rn to make that connection! our boy has like no game
user12: stoppp iâm sure he has some đ
user11: idk heâs so quiet and reserved
user12: nahhh itâs always the quiet ones ok
user8: y/noscar is my roman empire
user13: letâs get my man to the paris
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user10: hey babes, congrats on the olympics. im here to lyk abt a very cool, very polite young man named oscar piastri
yourbff: make us proud y/n
ynuser: iâll do my best đ
user2: you should visit monaco and oscar piastri next
lilymhe: yayyyy letâs goooooo y/n!!! iâll be cheering for you!!
ynuser: omg lily!! itâs been too long since iâve seen you! letâs do something once iâve won the gold đ
lilymhe: yes please đŤśđť
lilymhe: also alex told me to tell you that you have got to come to a grand prix soon - zandvoort maybe?
oscarpiastri: good luck y/n!
ynuser has made a post

liked by alex_albon, thenzteam, oscarpiastri, vogue, ilonamaher, lilymhe, and 98,657 others
ynuser: youâre looking at the fastest woman in the 1500 freestyle! semifinals here we come đłđż
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yourbff: being able to be poolside cheering you on is my favorite thing
ynuser: i love you
alex_albon: congrats y/n! canât wait to see you soon đ
user16: ALEX WHAT ARE YOU EOING HERE
user18: SEE YOU SOON????
user22: alex is taking his job as matchmaker seriously
thenzteam: aotearoa is so proud you â¤ď¸
ynuser: đ¤
oscarpiastri: congrats y/n!! youâre going to get the gold i just know it
ynuser: thank you oscar!! iâm certainly going to try
user2: oscar jumping up and down in his driver room rn
landonorris: user2 he is celebrating yes
user2: LANDODNJE
logansargeant: oscarpiastri thanks for saving my dog from that burning building the other day
alex_albon: thanks oscarpiastri for lending me your lambo last week
ynuser: wow! oscarpiastri can you lend me your lambo?
oscarpiastri: ynuser that can be arranged
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thenzteam: sheâs done it!!! y/n has won gold in the 1500 freestyle! you have made new zealand, aotearoa so very proud đżđłđż
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ynuser: beyond proud to be a kiwi! đ¤
yourbff: you are a star!!! iâm so proud of you
thenzteam: we love you đŤśđť now itâs time for you to get some rest!
user18: LETS GOOO Y/N!!!!
user20: i love watching women succeed
lilymhe: CONGRATS MS GIRL
alex_albon: yes!!! congrats ms y/n!!!!!
oscarpiastri: bwoah!! letâs go!
user22: oh oscar is this all youâve got
landonorris: user22 nah heâs got more just give him a minute
oscarpiastri: lando please

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lilymhe: i missed you so much my olympic golden girl. iâm so glad youâre here đŤśđť
ynuser: i missed you too my queen đ§Ą
user28: OMG YOURE IN ZANDVOORT OMG OMGOMGOGKGOGMGMGG
iamrebeccad: the way i jumped for joy when you told me you were coming!!! i canât wait for dinner tonight
ynuser: neither can i!! i am really looking forward to meeting carlos too
user44: zandvoort!!! on race weekend!!!!! youâre giving our polite cat a chance!!!!
user45: girly we know exactly where you are đ¤
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ynuser: some much needed downtime after paris but donât worry i still got some laps in đĽš
tagged: lilymhe, iamrebeccad, mclarenf1
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user56: not her tagging mclaren and not oscar LOL
user87: THOUGHT YOU COULD SNEAK IN THATBLAST PIC HUH
user45: thatâs gotta be oscar
user87: itâs absolutely him ainât no way
mclarenf1: was wonderful getting to have an olympic gold medalist in our garage this weekend!! thank you for visiting đ§Ą
ynuser: thank you for having me mclaren đ§Ą
oscarpiastri: hey thatâs my car
ynuser: yeah and you didnât let me borrow it like you said you would đ
oscarpiastri: iâll lend you one thatâs a little less dangerous! youâre precious cargo after all đ
landonorris: ok , leave me out of the pics⌠i thought we were friends??
ynuser: my bad dawg! didnât realize we were chill like that
landonorris: well weâre not anymore!!
alex_albon: my work here is done! team torque for the win
logansargeant: mission accomplished
lilymhe: girls u know everyone can see your comments
user45: CONFIRMED! THANKS ALBONO AND LOGIE
user46: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
ďž. âż ŕ¨â¤ď¸ŕ§â âż . ďžâ
a/n: another olympic reader!!! i love sports player reader. next up - olympic!tennis!reader.
a/n: made some updates to my blog and made a masterlist wahoo!! ty for all the support
ďž. âż ŕ¨â¤ď¸ŕ§â âż . ďžâ
Š norrisainz33: please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 fandom#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#op81#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#op81 fic#op81 fluff#op81 x you#op81 x y/n#op81 smau#op81 social media au#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri fanfic
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Going into Poppy Playtime Chap. 4 I was not expecting to get halfway decent plural rep but here we are????
Spoilers for the new chapter under the cut, and also cw for all the general Poppy Playtime stuff (child death + experimentation, body horror, if you know the game you get the gist)
SO THIS GUY HUH

Doey the Doughman, the surprise character revealed just days before the chapter dropped and who finally answered the question of the red/orange/yellow hand imagery weâve been getting teased with for so long
In the chapter himself heâs pretty important to the plot and is an ally to the player, Poppy, and Kissy for (most of) the chapter, and heâs a pretty nice guy just with a bit of a temper, and very overwhelmed by having to keep the Safe Haven together and protected in Poppyâs absence.
But his personal story? How he was created via Playtime Co.âs Bigger Bodies Initiative? Oh god itâs honestly one of the most messed up ones yet other than Yarnaby (and thatâs saying something considering this is child experimentation weâre talking about, and Yarnaby lost his entire self and was treated like a straight up animal, isolated so he would love and obey Harley and only Harley)
Where most of the living toys were made from one child, Doey was made from three. Jack, a visitor to the factory that got caught in a freak accident and was taken into Playtimeâs care for his medical recovery. Kevin, a problem child in the Playcare known for his anger issues. And Matthew, an extremely kind boy who tried to keep hopes up among all the orphans in the Playcare, and was a sort of leader to them.
And all three of them are still present in some form; at various points in the game you see them switch, speaking and thinking differently, with varying opinions on everything happening. And from the tape of the Jackâs parents seeing what Playtime did to their son, we see that the three have separate memories as well, at least they did when they were first put together.
And this plurality that was forced onto them isnât played for scary points like youâd expect from a mascot horror game. Yes it is part of Doeyâs monstrous design once they get upset, but them being upset is because everything they had worked to protect was destroyed by the Prototype. All of the other kids turned toys that had kept their consciousness and relied on Doey for protection, mercilessly killed. Anybody would be horrifically upset in that situation. And one of the three boys - Kevin - lashes out at the player, the other two trying to calm him down only for all of them to fall into anger and emotion.

You can clearly see the three kids; one angry, two sad, all of their emotions coming together into a grief induced rage, with physical pain only compounding it. And when you eventually have to kill them and put them out of their misery, their last words?
âIâm sorry.â
They were just kids; three kids forced into a horrible situation and having to learn to live with it. And for a long time it seems that they did, working together rather peacefully until their lives were upheaved by the arrival of the player and Poppyâs reappearance.
Kevinâs anger at everyone and the world is completely justified; I mean he and the other two were experimented on and then kept caged like animals, being practically forced to kill! He wanted to protect them; to avenge the countless others that had been killed by the Playtime scientists and the Prototype! And considering things only went to shit after the player and Poppy showed up? Well itâs no wonder that anger got directed at them
It it a super good depiction of plurality? No, not by a long shot. But itâs definitely way better than I would expect from a game like Poppy Playtime.
I was not expecting this post to get this long whoops fbsnbdns; if anyone else has anything they want to add though weâd love to hear it!
#plurality#actually plural#plural system#multiplicity#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 4#doey the doughman#poppy playtime doey
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CARNAL
werewolf husband x reader | 18+ | 3k
your husband is a painter who makes a meager, but comfortable living for you both creating portraits for nobles. his love of painting stems from his adoration of the night sky and the moon. he disappears one night and returns three days laterâchanged, distant, aggressive, and ravenous. not long after, you discover the reason for his behaviors and face the consequences of curiosity.
story warnings; dead dove do not eat, dubcon, explicit sexual content, explicit details of genitalia (werewolf), breeding, knotting, kinda cockwarming??, mentions of feeling "bloated", cumshot on body, brief piss kink mention, size difference, brief handjob, mc gets head a few times lmao, classism, mc is kinda a shitty spouse in this, detail + prose heavy (extreme), roughly proofread â you are warned.
so, this all started when I was talking to @/peachdues about her fic and idk, knotting has just been in my head since. awesome. now it's out of my system, I hope đ
this is also my first official new piece of writing on this blog! everything before this has been reposts of older work. hopefully it doesn't disappoint!!!
would love, love, love to hear your feedback! reblogs are so tremendously appreciated!!.đđťâ¤ď¸
note: this is not my personal canon interpretation of werewolves. this is just a werewolf fic, y'know?
He was the wretched thing you kept behind locked doors with the rising of each full moon.
Once, the pale moonlight had been a thing of beauty to you both; an exquisite, lustrous pearl which seemed so small pinched between your fingers, squeezed and blurred through narrowed eyes. He, on the other hand, admired it differently from you by staring adoringly at its craggy features and the wan, white halo it emitted.
By trade, he was a painter and made a meager living for you both from it. His portraits were most popular as nobles found his style palatable, brushwork concealing of all flaws that showed in their faded clothes, their tarnished jewelry, their ravaged flesh and inbred faces. He knew what they'd wanted in a painting and created these fabrications as they wished because it meant more than old bread and leathery meats for dinner.
For you, he endured such mundanity if it meant you could eat well and dress warmly and in an enviable way to the neighbors. He enjoyed your simple delight; how little it truly took to keep you happy, how easy your marriage had been up until that point. You loved him and you loved the things he provided for you.
When it came nighttime, far into the blackest hours where the world seemed seized in so forceful a hush, you made no objections when he pulled you from bed to go outside with him to view the sky. There, he painted by the orange embers of lantern light and tried to capture all the likeness of the night sky with its misty moonlight and glittering, starry veil.
Sometimes you held the lantern for him, sometimes you did nothing but sit on his side holding the paint palette and lean into his hip, leaching away warmth from his body. Most nights, you were a handsome fixture and most beloved companion, trying to squash the moon like a grape with your fingers while speaking every thought out loud.
But, one night he went out alone and did not return for three days. He had left with his easel and stretched canvas and precious paint board, yet had come back to stand in the doorway with none of it.
âDarling,â you hesitated, starting out firm in case he was inebriated, altered aggressively in some way. You looked at him as though he were some strange person. âWhere are your things? Your paints? Your canvas? My love, where have you been?â
âIâI don't have much of an answer to that. I'm sorry.â Then, he strode past you to the bedroom, shuttered the windows to muffle light and sound, declaring he needed rest. âPlease, let me be. I'll look for my things another time.â
Later, he was ravenous at the dinner table and ate more than you thought itâd ever be possible for one man to do. You sacrificed your own portion in hopes he'd be sated, but he only turned irritable and mute, as if he were aware nothing good would come of his words to you. At the time, you'd feared that you had upset him in some way, perhaps no longer thought you lovely and fashionable or dependable as his partner and wanted to do away with your marriage.
That would mean you could only return home to rural hardship, or to the slums in the neighboring kingdom. The world would know your unwanted status, how much of a disappointment you'd been to satisfy your own husband, and you would never know another moment of quiet luxury again.
You couldn't accept such a fate, so you bathed him carefully that night. Purposeful with how you dragged the soapy sponge down along his back, fingernails a featherlight graze between the valleys of muscle and flesh protecting his spine. You kissed the back of his shoulders, lips a smouldering touch against his neck.
Then, you felt from stomach down to his hips, swirling your fingertips against the bony protrusions and in the fragrant water before wrapping your hand around his cock, stroking him to hardness. He still said nothing as he kissed your lips, tongue relentlessly pursuing your teeth to get inside your mouth, and pulled you into the tub with him fully clothed.
He fucked you deep and hard that night bent over the edge of the tub, hips pistoning up against your ass, skin slapping raw, thrusting into your wet walls at an angle that had you writhing with a face warped in equal parts exquisite bliss and agony. It wasn't until one of his hands gripped you around the neck, levering you against him, that you noticed a wound on his forearm right below where purple and green veins pulsed under his skin, translucent.
They were tooth marksâtwo rows of them. Crooked and sharp, arranged in a way that reminded you of the jagged spears wetted by sea spray at the base of a cliff. They looked deep, like whatever had bit him held on, yet hadnât the intention to tear his arm off of the rest of him. The punctures were purple-red and abyssal as you studied them, vision jarred by his cock ramming you, his panting in the crook of your neck, and the bruise surrounding it bloomed a concentration of colors resembling an inkspill.
How had you not noticed it before?
âI fear what may come on certain nights from now on. When I ask it, lock the bedroom and shutter the windows from the outside. Don't ask me questions for I have no answers to give you.â He did not offer you the reassurance you had wanted, but it was enough to help you confidently stride through the days, knowing that your marriage wasn't in crisis.
Afterwards, it became imperative for you to act as someone educated because you needed to understand what was happening to your husband some nights.
It started days before a full moon: he became impatient, easy to displease, indignant upon any perceived blunder you made. He did not gorge on wine, but whatever meats were preserved in storage and what you could afford now with his inconsistent employment. You tried hiding these poor portions in thick stews with vegetables that had been infused in simmering beef stock for hours, but he was never fully sated by it.
At the same time he started to demand distance from you, he ravaged you at strange hours in your shared bed, tearing at your clothes to suck on your nipples, lap the glisten between your legs. New was his biting to leave marks and sup the blood mixed with his own saliva. More than once, he came on your body with hot, thick ropes and squirted piss on you like an animal marking territory.
When the night of the full moon arrived, he was transformed and horrifying. You had heard furniture crashing and shattering in the bedroom where he'd barricaded himself. Even his yowls throughout the evening had changed, no longer sounding like agony in the cries of the man you'd married, but something far more beastal. It came from within the chest, in the lungs behind the ribs, and was not human.
You had made the mistake only once to check in on him during this point in his shift, as you hadn't known any better. Your voice was a panicked flutter, a whisper of fear that something else might have broken through the fortress of wooden boards nailed against the windows from either side of it.
âMy love? Darling, are you alright?â
He was there. You thought he was there because of the silhouette clambering across the broken remains of your shared dresser and vanity. The difference was that this thing was enormous. A creature with a bristling back, hair or spines standing out like a porcupine threatening with its quills.
It stood and was forced to hunch from the low ceiling of your house. A canine-like countenance glowered at you, red eyes partially obscured by patchy fur. Raw skin shined in the barren spots in the lantern light you'd forced into the room, and that hair didn't fully cover his abdomen nor his groin.
He was as much still human as he was this ugly beast. You'd thought to take another step into the room when he snarled and lunged towards the door. A shrill shriek pulled from your throat as you fully withdrew from the room, bolting the door shut with an iron key. He never made a ruckus against the door, and you left for the neighbor's right after, claiming that your husband had wanted space after an argument.
The next morning, your husband had somehow managed to escape the bedroom and sat in the kitchen clothed from the waist down, disoriented by the sunlight and his placement at the table. He didn't remember his transformation into the beast, but he did remember you.
Perhaps that's what gave you the courage to try to enter the bedroom the night of yet another shift. His yells of anger and pain had cooled after several hours, quieting to beastal groans and his heavy footfalls endlessly pacing the floorboards inside.
The door squealed, a call out to the darkness and creature within, and that creature responded with a growlâlow, reverberating in darkness, a warning that you wouldn't be tolerated. You invaded the space carefully, meat and fish and other morsels for offering in a basket you'd woven yourself, that he had told you he thought was particularly artful at completion.
âDarling, I've brought you something. It's food. I've put fresh milk inside, too.â You caught sight of him near the boarded window, massive back rounded as he crouched low into a posture which looked as unnatural as when he tried to stand on his bent legs. âI know itâI know it won't ease your suffering, but you must still eat.â
He approached you, but it was unlike times before where he'd jump at the door to scare you away. This time he crawled towards you instead of intimidating you with his heightâhe wanted you to stay, and tried to appear small by dragging his long tail across the floor. The fur sounded like coarse bristles on a broomstick.
âOh, my love. My love. My love. What has happened to you?â You moved away from the coverage of the door into the dark space, using your body to close it behind you so that he couldn't get out. You couldn't be sure how he'd behave if he could leave the house. âI'm here. Oh, you're so sweet. Look at you.â
You'd placed the basket aside neatly, making your movements obvious so as not to inspire ire, and didn't react when his long snout pressed into your abdomen. Stubble and whiskers pulled back to reveal long, stalagmite teeth which chewed mindlessly at your clothes. His damp nose nudged under your layers, pressing flush to your skin, startling you with a nasally gasp.
It was the instance where his nose left your stomach and went lower, pushing between your legs to lick you through your pants that you tried to cower, sidle out of his reach. He must've retained some semblance of himself because his arms rose to flank you at the waist, claws digging to the grain of the door, his strong snout pinning you, tongue knowing your shape even through cloth.
The fabric between your legs was wet, sticking flush to you, giving him as much nearness he could achieve without stripping off the layers separating him from your taste. The luscious imprint of you was unfulfilling, not even a teasing drop of what he instinctively knew he could have.
Your pants were removed unkindly; ripped at the waist, torn through impeccable artistry and threads and delicate fabric he had once paid for. Neither complete fear nor anger kept you silent, motionless for him to do as he pleased by yanking the pants off of your legs, but swelling curiosity. You wondered how much of your husband still remained inside this beast when the full moon was high.
The same unkindness followed him shredding through your underwear with his strange teeth, gnawing the fabric to a thin, sopping string before he could finally have you. Inhale you. Taste you with the paddle flatness of his tongue and make you squirm when his teeth skimmed that part.
âO-ohââ this wasn't like when he did it with his human tongue, as masterful as it was. He licked you with fervor you'd never felt, like he was reaching for something deep inside your viscera and blood and gore. Every subtle change of his immense nose and tongue was white heat behind your eyes, jostling pulses of electric, immodest moans, your hips driving forward on their own accord to help him find the treasure he sought within you.
Then, he stopped and hauled you to the floor with a single arm twice the thickness of that of his human counterpart. He knew no gentleness even now, dropping you onto your knees and palms against splintery floorboards which vented cool air up through the gaps, into your skin from the draft rising from underneath the house.
That cold reached deeper, seemed to lift off the ground to meet you as your husbandâthe beastâthrust your chest against the stiff boards and spread your legs apart with his mass. His claws sank around your hips without piercing your flesh, though their sharpness was undiminished to you regardless.
You knew agitation would not serve you here, neither would bursts of courage to escape. He would catch you with those talons, eat your insides with them and fuck you all the same.
He mounted you clumsily, then.
Enormous, coarse-haired hips grinding against your bare ass, prickling you, making you wince from where your face was nearly pressed into the wood below. You shivered at the first pass of his cock between your legs. Stiff and girthy, arched so well that you felt the moist tip drag across you, catching on spots he'd licked to flinching sensitivity, eagerly prodding at you.
The beast made a sound; a suffering groan with the tremble of his hips before he was thrusting inside of you. The sheer viciousness of his hips hammering against the globes of your ass and his heaviness forced you flat to the floor, where you reached out from the sides of your body for something to hold and grip for comfort. It was barren everywhere you touched.
Your walls were still tight around his cock even as the moments passed, growing no closer to accommodating his size than before, strokes animalistic and messy. While his fur muffled the friction of your skin, the airless dark of your bedroom was compacted with lewd squelching and moans you'd never known you were capable of making. Your noises were high-pitched and vile, paced with his hips, the curve of his cock stroking your velvety insides, and the wet suction releasing when he'd partially withdraw.
Above you, he panted with his long tongue lolling, dripping strings of saliva onto your back where they cooled upon contact and made you feel filthy. Your body ached from his weight pinning you to the inflexible floorboards, cold numbing your skin, hardening your nipples, grinding them down with each of his thrusts.
The enclosed space held an unusual smell, one apart from what you knew was sex. How sweat and salt and cum clung to the mustiness of old places. This was more pungent; earthier and heavier as it filled the room and leaked out of your hole, oozing down your thighs like nectar from a weeping peach.
You continued to let the beastâyour husbandâfuck you into the wood, the grain, to become an impression in the floor as nothing else could be done. But you were sore now and sure to be swollen, as you were an uncomfortable fit for him again; virgin tightness which gripped every vein and ridge in his cock.
The grinning beast bared even more of his teeth, clicking them together as he released a shuddering sound, too distant to be human but not entirely monstrous. He rutted you carnally, pushing your legs as far apart as they could go from where you were on your stomach, and went deeper inside of you still.
Something about the depth was so wrongânot meant to be, not meant to be experienced by a creature so simple as yourself. It was divine pleasure and pain, it was a threshold that shouldn't have been crossed, yet he had persevered and fucked you into screams.
His hips stuttered violently and he growled; he snarled; he whimpered like an actual beast mortally wounded. You gasped in awe at an enormity of sensations: his cum gushing inside of you, spurting out in thick ribbons to join the rest that had dried on your thighs, and his knot stretching your walls, locking his hips against your ass.
You fidgeted from the bulbous growth, clenching around it, whining wanly while he insistently humped you to burrow the knot as far as it could go. He was trying to breed you; plug his spend inside of you just as he would have had another creature of his sort. Because you were his spouse, perhaps he was only able to perceive you as his mate.
His movements soon slowed, calmed in a way of someone who'd been taken by blows of exhaustion and draped his large body across your back, prodding you with his spinose furs. There was some tenderness in how he kept his arms outside of you, bracing his weight onto them so as to not smother you. He did it to adjust his knot and half-hard cock inside you as well, unforgiving to the idea that you might have forgotten his fullness, that you were brimmed with his cum and felt bloated from it.
Nothing would come from this, only the shame of knowing you'd moaned and screamed for this beast, but not the human you'd married.
#werewolf x reader#werewolf x you#werewolf x human#werewolf x y/n#monster x reader#monster x human#monster fucker#monster romance#monster story#monster x y/n#monsterfucking nsft#tw monsterfucking#monster fic#monster x you#original writing#yandere x reader#writing#.02#horror writing#dark fantasy#original character#oc x reader#oc x y/n#oc x you#werewolf oc
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The Cadence of Part-Time Poets
The Cadence of Part-Time Poets by @motswolo
Have been working on this 10 volume set for the past few months now, and they are finally complete. My Magnum Opus. I have peaked and probably depleted all of my brain power.
Thank you to @motswolo for writing such a beautiful story. My brain chemistry has been favourably altered. Will forever flinch when I hear Queen, The Beatles or Bob Dylan. Love to you from western Canada (west coast best coast lets gooooo).
I also posted a TikTok of these since posts here are limited and I love the insides as much as the covers, so if you wanna see between the pages, hereâs that.
Also thank you @avisbindery for letting me scream and cry in your DMs while I read the fic. May you get some uninterrupted sleep now LOLLL.
Going to write a whole essay below about the ideas and details because uhhh I wanna yap bit!
So for starters, I wanted to make these binds look like magazines because of the epilogue where (spoiler) Tonya sees Remus in a copy of New Musical Express. But of course this fic is long, so I was like, what if I do multiple volumes? This very quickly spiralled into me painstakingly (finding publication-accurate fonts almost sent me to an early grave) recreating 10 different music-focused magazines from the 70s and 80s from scratch (thank you to Photoshop, Affinity, Procreate and Canva). Each volume features a unique cover, along with stylized typesets to match that display the songs for each chapter but in different designs. And then I went a little crazy and made a 45 sleeve and a cassette too, to really set the scene when I took the photos lol
While the covers display the dates pertaining to the contents of that particular volume (Sept 1975 for volume one, for example) I was thinking about what the magazines would say if they were really published when Marauders are traipsing about being spectacular and famous in the future. I sprinkled in details from the fic itself and fanon-ed it a bit, but that was the general inspiration :-) Tried to keep the photos used either faceless/obscured, or to use the fancasts on Motsâ Cadence master post. I also tried to use period-accurate photos but didnât always succeed, so settled for photos of 4 member bands where I had to :â) But the general intent with the facelessness was that they could be implied to be Marauders. If you squint? lol. Just pretend. Pls.
Volume One: Based upon The Record Song Book. This magazine went on to inspire the typesets, since it publishes lyrics and such. The cover images are of Spacey Jane and David Thewlis.
Volume Two: Based on ZigZag, specifically the issue from July 1978 featuring Siouxie and the Banshees just because I thought it looked sick as fuck. I re-drew the abstract shapes and such in procreate. The cover images are The Clash and a young Gary Oldman. Lord he was foiiine.
Volume Three: Based on Trouser Press, November 1980. The cover images are a young Metallica, and my personal fav fan cast for James, Reiky De Valk. The film negatives are from a Bruce Springsteen tour, 1976.
Volume Four: Based on Gay Times (November 1984), a queer magazine from the UK because this volume contains Wolfstars first kiss hehe. Also hence Somebody To Love plastered all over the covers. The Front cover is Inhaler. The â4Aâ on this one is of course the boysâ dorm number, but I made the A the lambda symbol as this was a pride symbol in the 70s after Stonewall.
Volume Five: Based on Melody Maker. Front image is Alex Turner. All of the text on this one is pulled directly from the fic. The scene where they all drop acid and James jumps off the roof Almost Famous style had me hootinâ and hollerinâ⌠until Tomny showed up hahaha :â)
Volume Six: Based on IT (International Times, Aug 1971). Front image for this one is Joy Division, and the back features Jane Asher for Lily
Volume Seven: Based on Record Mirror, June 1976. Front image is John Taylor of Duran Duran. Yum.
Volume Eight: Based on Rolling Stone. More vibes than anything for this one, but the quote still makes me laugh. Front image is of Matt Hitt. Can you tell I photoshopped a cell phone out of this one? IDK. This photo just screamed âRemusâ to me so I had to use it. The back image is an old cigarette ad, but the photo is taken in Shepherdâs Bush.
Volume Nine: Based on Fusion magazine. Front image for this one is once again Inhaler. Oops. Back cover is our gals. Images are Jodie Foster as Cherry, Brenda Sykes as Mary, and Goldie Hawn as Lottie.
Volume Ten: Based on New Musical Express. You know why :â) These are all victims of fanon, but this one especially. I wanted it to be NME instead of the re-invented logos Iâd been doing for all the rest, as I wanted it to look like the magazine the Sister gives to Tonya. I referred to an issue of NME from October 1979 for this and layered in fic references where it made sense to. The cover image for this one is (I think) Cigarettes After Sex. This issue also contains all of the B-Side chapters, and the Marauders song lyrics too just for fun :)
Slasher Chick: This is just my take on what Sybillâs zine couldâve looked like. Prob way off but I just wanted to have fun with this one since I had no cover to reference lol. The zine contains her little write-up and the interview, lifted straight from the fic :")
ok yap sesh over byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lmfaooooo
#fic: the cadence of part-time poets#motswolo#wolfstar#fanfic#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#peter pettigrew#regulus black#mybinds#bookbinding#tcoptp#coptp#the cadence of part time poets#marauders#moony#padfoot#my binds
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When You're Lost, Just Look For Me

Summary: Youâre not always good at asking for what you need. Luckily your bandmates know when you need a little extra love and are there to support you.
Word Count: 2.5K
CW: mentions of: neglectful family, periods, little bit of online hate
This story is set in the 1D days, and therefore Liam is a main character just like the other boys. Wanted to give a heads up in case anyone wants to avoid stories with him in it.
AN: When the news broke last week I wasnât sure if I was going to continue writing, and really didnât know what I would write about if I did. But then Passing Contact doubled in notes so I took that as a hint that itâs what people might want to read right now. So I decided to write a part 2 in hopes that it can help people in any way.
I have a couple other ideas for stories of reader x one direction that would also take place back when they were touring, but if you have any requests please let me know
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Itâs a day off in a random hotel room in a random city in the United States. Of that youâre sure. But you're not sure of much else at the moment.Â
Youâre thinking back to the past few days. Youâd messed up your backing vocals on stage, and had to re-record your parts for the next album because you just could not get it right. Numerous rumors were being spread about you being spotted with random boys, leading to renewed comments calling you all kinds of nasty things.Â
Youâre still in your pajamas, which you realize somehow consist of a pair of Louisâ sweatpants, one of Zayn's t-shirts, and a sweatshirt Liam had given you a week ago that you have yet to return. You think about texting one of them to come hang out, but you donât want your glum mood to bring them down. Instead you turn on the TV and wrap yourself in all your blankets.Â
Itâs what you always did as a child when you were sad. Your family was never open with their emotions, and affection made them uncomfortable. From a young age you knew that going to your parents for comfort would end with rejection. So youâd learned how to comfort yourself.Â
The blanket nest barely does its job today, and youâre still lost in your thoughts of self doubt when a knock at the door startles you.Â
For a second you think about ignoring it, but odds are the person knocking wouldnât just go away. So you pull yourself up and open the door, seeing Niall there waiting for you.Â
âHey, havenât heard from you today, wanted to see what youâre up to,â he says.Â
Youâre hit with a wave of embarrassment, not wanting to admit that you've been wallowing all day.Â
âJust taking it easy,â you reply, âCatching up on sleep.â Itâs believable enough, none of you sleep too well on the bus and this is your first hotel bed in over a week.Â
âI hear ya, think I slept twelve hours straight,â Niall says with a laugh.Â
Knowing that heâs hoping for an invitation you step aside and motion your arm, silently asking him to join you in your room. You glance around quickly, glad to see everything is neat except the bed. You hope that he doesnât judge the mess of blankets, and considering he just kicks off his shoes and climbs into your bed, you assume heâs fine with it.Â
âWhat are we watching?â Is his next question so you sit on the other side of the bed and pass him the remote, allowing him to scroll through the channels until he finds some nature show that looks mildly interesting.Â
You stare at the screen but youâre not focusing on it. Youâre more focused on Niall just a couple feet away from you.Â
During a celebration after the first tour, where youâd all indulged a bit with some drinks, youâd let slip about your family and your reluctance when it comes to physical affection. They listened and then made it a goal to help you be more comfortable with hugs, and hand holding, and all kinds of friendly contact.Â
And it was nice. Youâd always known that babies could be touch deprived, but youâd learned that adults can be starved for human touch as well. There was no doubt that you fell into this category, so getting random bouts of touch and affection from your band members had been healing in a way.
But lately things have been so crazy that everyone has been focusing on themselves. Plus youâre older now, not the teens that you were when you started the band. As people in your early twenties, the casual physical affection has dwindled.Â
The boys seem to be coping with this, as though they havenât even realized that the group hugs and cuddle piles have stopped. But youâve noticed. And youâll be the first to admit that you miss it.Â
Now especially, with all this stress and disappointment weighing you down, you canât help but desire a hug, one so tight that you can just burrow into one of the boys for a little while and feel safe and loved.Â
But even though Niall is right there, you canât bring yourself to ask. You canât even move closer and get rid of the space between you. Because it was always the boys initiating the contact. Youâre nervous to try, terrified that you might get rejected.Â
Niall can tell something is going on with you, but heâs not sure what. Heâs never been the best at navigating other peopleâs emotions so he calls in backup by sending a text to Harry who arrives a little bit later. He brings lunch with him, and youâre grateful for that since youâve barely eaten all day.Â
The three of you sit together at the table to eat. The food is good, and youâre grateful that Niall and Harry are talking to each other because you donât have much to add right now. You donât realize the way theyâre watching you, communicating their worry through pointed looks.Â
When lunch is done you all head back to the bed and put on a movie. Youâre sitting against the headboard, Niall on your left and Harry on your right. And somehow, theyâre still not touching you. At this point youâd take a brush of their arm against yours. Anything to help you feel less alone. And yet, you canât bring yourself to lean closer to either of them. Itâs maddening.Â
âY/N,â Harry says, catching your attention.
âYea?â
âWhatâs wrong?â he asks.
âNothing,â you reply, not even sure why youâre lying to him.
âWe know something is bothering you,â Niall adds.Â
You take a breath before spilling everything thatâs been going on. They listen and reassure you and while you do feel better after talking with them, thereâs still that part of you thatâs so on edge.
âWhat do you need?â Harry asks.
You think about it for a moment and say, âWhat I need is for people to stop judging me.â
âThatâs a fair point. But I want to know what you need right now. From us.â Harry says.
The thing is, he knows the answer. Heâs already aware of what would make you feel better. But he wants you to say it. He wants you to be comfortable to voice your needs with him and the other boys.Â
Finally you blurt out, âI just need a hug.â
âThatâs not it,â Harry says.
Now youâre confused. Itâs what you want. You tapped into all your bravery to even say that. And now heâs telling you thatâs not right?
âYou want something more than that. Need something more than that,â he adds.Â
You think about it for a moment and you realize that heâs right. A little hug isnât going to cut it.
âI need someone to hold me,â you say quietly. âI need to be held.â
Neither boy hesitates now, and you end up tucking into Harry's side with Niall wrapping around you. They hold you tight, hands gently rubbing your back or arms to soothe you.Â
Itâs not often that you allow yourself to cry, but you do now. You heave out a sob and feel their arms tighten around you. They stay like that until your sobs turn into tears before finally drying up.Â
âThank you,â you say quietly once youâve calmed down fully.Â
âOf course, YN,â Niall says. âWeâre always here for you. Whatever you need.â
âWeâre in this together,â Harry adds. âAnd we take care of each other. Always.â
Their kindness, and comfort has you feeling so much better, but you remain in their hold just a bit longer. It feels so nice to have this type of physical contact after so long without it.Â
The three of you eventually get cleaned up and join the rest of the boys for dinner. You end the day feeling so much better than you did at the start, and you know itâs thanks to these boys you call family.Â
But despite how nice it felt to be held, thoughts of doubt and embarrassment fill your mind in the weeks that follow. When you look back at that afternoon you first think about how good it felt. And then you begin to feel weak that you even needed to be babied in the first place.Â
You vow to be stronger in the future and not ask for that again. They have their own things, they donât need to be taking care of you too. At least, thatâs what your parents had always said.Â
Tour continues, and one night you all have to stay at the venue for a while after the show. Security said something about it being unsafe to travel just yet, but you were too tired to listen to the details.Â
After more than an hour of hanging out backstage you finally get the all clear to head out. But in that time youâd practically fallen asleep on the sofa. You have zero desire to get up so you sleepily raise your arms and look at Liam whoâs standing before you and say, âCarry me.â
He chuckles, and a sweet smile appears on his face. Without even saying a word he leans down and slides an arm behind your back, the other under your knees to scoop you up bridal style. You sling one arm around his neck and hold on as he adjusts his grip to make sure you are secure.Â
Once back on the bus he tucks you in, straightening your extra blanket and placing your stuffed cat in your arms. He runs a gentle hand through your hair until you fall asleep, once again feeling so safe and loved.Â
A couple weeks later your period hits, and for some reason this month is especially bad. Itâs day two of non stop cramps, and as much as you try to keep this a secret from the boys, they always know when youâre feeling particularly bad.Â
Louis is the one to find you curled up on the couch. He brings chocolate, pain relievers, and some tea thatâs supposed to help. Youâd never heard of it before, but apparently his sisters swear by it.Â
When nothing helps right away he lays down with you. His hand goes to your stomach and begins to rub, somehow soothing more than just the pain. Once your cramps finally go away you turn so that you're facing Louis. You tuck your head under his chin and he puts his arm around your waist to keep you close.Â
It should be strange, being so close to him. But it just feels right, just like it does with the other boys. You let yourself enjoy the comfort as Louisâ hand rubs gentle circles on your back.Â
Not only are your cramps gone, but the feelings of sadness and anxiety that usually come with your period are gone too, all thanks to Louisâ compassion and gentleness.Â
A few days later you're sleeping in your bunk when a nightmare hits. Itâs one that you used to get all the time, but now only comes when youâre extra exhausted or stressed. And with it being the last couple weeks of tour, youâre both of those things.Â
You wake up gasping, adrenaline coursing through your body. You hoped that you were quiet and didnât wake anyone else, but a moment later Zayn appears and asks if youâre alright.Â
âIâm fine,â you reply. âJust a dream. Iâm good now.â
But of course these boys can read you like a book. And Zayn immediately knows youâre not fine.Â
âScooch over,â he says, and you listen. As soon as thereâs room he climbs in the bunk with you. He lays on his back and pulls you so your head is resting on his chest.Â
You get comfy but you canât help but feel bad. These bunks are small, uncomfortable for just one person. Definitely cramped with two. Â
âYou donât have to stay. Iâll be fine,â you say.Â
âNonsense. No one should be alone when they donât have to,â he replies.Â
You can't argue with that. The two of you hold each other close and fall into a peaceful sleep. Heâs still there when you wake up in the morning and you snuggle closer, taking advantage of his comforting touch.Â
When tour ends youâre a weird mixture of relieved and sad. It had been exhausting, but so wonderful.Â
And you have to admit to yourself that youâre going to miss the boys. Itâs only a couple of weeks apart before you come back together, but youâll be back home with your family during that time.Â
And youâre realizing that theyâre not really family to you.Â
Zayn, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Harry are your family. They care for you in ways your own parents never did. And youâre going to miss that while youâre all back home.Â
The boys know how you feel about going to stay with your family. Thatâs why they plan a night in rather than going out to party. You have some drinks and pizza, and spend the evening reminiscing about the past months you had together.Â
The later it gets, the more glum you feel. You know the goodbyes are coming soon, and that puts a damper on your mood.Â
Liamâs the first to notice how quiet youâve gotten. He sits next to you on the couch and gently nudges you with his shoulder.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â He asks.Â
You donât want to bring down the party, but you canât ignore his pleading eyes so you reply, âIâm just going to miss you guys.â
He nods but continues to look at you, knowing thereâs more to it. Sighing you add, âAnd you guys are so happy and so warm. At home everyoneâs cold and distant.â
âWhat can we do to help?â He asks. A memory pops into your head. Another hotel room when you were feeling down. You know exactly what you need. And youâre no longer scared or embarrassed to ask for it.Â
âI need to be held,â you say.Â
âI think we can do that,â Liam says before once again picking you up and announcing, âCuddle party on the bed!â
He gently tosses you onto the plush king bed and in no time youâre surrounded by your boys. Thatâs how the six of you sleep that night, all snuggled together in one big pile.Â
Youâve never before felt so safe, so loved. And youâll forever be grateful for the opportunity you received that brought you close to these boys. Because they are the ones who taught you what love truly feels like.
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AN: While I was working on this a butterfly landed next to me and stuck around for a while. Brought me a bit of peace.
To my readers, I hope youâre all doing okay, and if you need someone to talk to know that Iâm here and willing to talk!
#harry styles x reader#louis tomlinson x reader#niall horan x reader#liam payne x reader#zayn malik x reader#one direction x reader#one direction fanfiction
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ROUND 2 !



pairing: military!steve rogers x wife!reader
genre: smut, fluff
warnings: manhandling, full nelson, overstim, oral(fem receiving), fingering, slight degradation
summary: itâs been a year since youâve seen your husband and he just got home, but heâs so much taller and bigger. his new body makes your mind go wild and wonder what new things he can do now.
notes: iâm watching captain america:the first avenger and steve rogers looks so fine i HAD to write something. and i had to keep splitting up paragraphs because tumblr said they were too longâŚalso this takes place back in 1943. DADDYâS HOME
life has been so lonely & boring since steve left for war. now all you left have of him is some of his clothes and small pictures of him and you spread around the house. going to bed alone felt painful enough so you slept with his picture next to you sometimes. it was especially hard when you felt needy and no one was there but your pillow. you were thinking about asking your neighbor, who always flirts with you any chance they get, for help but you could never cheat on steve, not after how sweet he is to you. itâs was getting late so you headed downstairs to make yourself dinner. you made alfredo for yourself and prepared a plate. you took a seat at your dining take and stared at the picture of your husband. every night, you pray heâs still alive and comes back home soon. suddenly you hear a knock at the front door. your eyes dart up in panic, you donât want to get your hopes up and think heâs finally home but rarely anyone visits you unless itâs a friend & your friends never show up at 10PM. you slowly arise from your chair and walk to the door. before your nervous hand reaches the door, you hear a click and the door slowly opens.
âsteve, is that you?â you ask peeking from being the door. itâs dark outside so you canât see his face, but you can see his silhouette. the man is tall & buff, and you canât stop staring at his biceps. he starts to walk towards you slowly as you step away from him. once you both are under the light, his face is more clearer and you realize your husband is finally home. âdid you miss me?â he says softly as places his hand on your waist and pulls you towards him. your at a loss of words and embrace him into a hug. for the first time, you werenât on the same level as him. âwhat happened to you? i knew youâd look a little bigger after war but this is completely different!â you have so many questions but your honestly trying to stop yourself from smothering his handsome face with kisses, and something else. âitâs a long story, but my only focus is youâhe sweet talks, which makes your heart flutter and his words go right to your core. âwell if youâre hungry, i made-âyou start before he gently pushes you against the island in the kitchen and kisses you with his soft lips. the way he was kissing made you feel like you were having your first kiss. the first you both kisses, you kisses him first and you could easily reach his lips, but it felt so different this time because you had to get on your toes to reach him, nearly having to jump. chris trapped you between his muscular arms and held you in place as he kissed you. the more he held you there, the more you felt your arousal build higher & higher. you felt him slowly glide his hands down your waist and tug on the waistband of your pajamas pants. you break away from the kiss and look at him in shock. âwhere did all this confidence come from, last time we tried to have sex, you could barely get it up last time and you were just so nervousâyou mocked but he just smiled at you with pure lust in his eyes. âtrust me, iâm not that guy anymore sweetheart, and now that iâm back iâll give you all the love youâve been needing this timeâhe murmured. before you argue back, chrisâs hand is creeping into your panties and starts rubbing slow circles onto your pussy. the sudden feeling makes your legs feel weak and your lips fall open. you canât help but feel chrisâs eyes peering at you, âdoes this feel good?âhe asks after he slides his fingers inside but you barely processes what heâs saying to you because youâre so caught up in this pleasure youâve never experienced so you just eagerly nod. before he fully fulfills your needs, he picks you up over his shoulder and walks up the stairs. the loss of his fingers make you whine and you clench around nothing. âshh, iâll let you finish once we get to the bedroomâ he whispers.
he holds you in place on his shoulder with his arm and pushes open the door with his other. he tosses you onto the bed before he takes off his shirt. his chest and his abs make you stare in awe, heâs so strong and firm now that heâs back from the war. âare you gonna take off your clothes or do i have to do that for you too while you stare at me?âhis words make you get out of head and you scramble to take off clothes. now you just left with your panties on and sitting on the bed with your knees to your chest. he climbs over to you on the bed and gently pushes you back. once he pulls your soaked panties down & throws them next to your pile of clothes, he pulls you closer to him and spreads your legs open, âno need to be shy, i see youâre not the only one that misses meâ he says before placing a kiss on your pussy. feeling his lips on you makes you squirm but chrisâs firm hands are holding you in place. his lips start making out with your cunt and you canât help but whine. you were so shocked how good he was making you feel you wondered how his dick would feel inside you. chris wanted you to sound even more louder as he felt your hips slowly rocking against his face so his licks got more sloppier and wet. the amount of pleasure made your back arch and your thighs tried to close but his big hands held your legs in place. âs-steve, iâm g-gonna-âyou cried and he picked up his pace at your words. âmhm, câmonâ he hummed against you and the vibrations from his lips make your tummy feel warm and sends you over the edge, making you squirt against his face. you donât even realize you squirted before you sit up against your elbows & notice the smile on his face with your juices all over his chin. âoh chris, iâm sorry iâve never done that before i-âyou panic before apologizing but chris cuts you. âdonât apologize, iâm planning on making you do that again, but this time with my dickâ he interrupts and take his pants off. as soon as his boxers come off, his cock springs free and stands tall against his toned abs. âon your hands and knees, facing the headboardâhe instructs and do as he says while your thighs still quivered.
âcan you feel that?â he whispers as he nudges his tip against your hole. he knows you canât answer since heâs pushing your head into the pillow under you but the size of his dick makes you gulp. you feel the big stretch as he slowly pushes his cock inside you and before you can feel any pain, he drops a hand down and rubs your clit so you can still feel pleasure. once he finds his rhythm in his thrusts, he slowly picks up the pace. the only thing being heard inside the room is the sound of your soaked pussy squelching around him. all this pleasure makes your tummy feel tingly and like itâs going to explode. ân-ngh i c-canât take it, sâtoo much!âyou complain but he only goes faster. his thrusts are getting so rough, he almost knocks you off the bed. you try to grab & hold on to the sheets to get away from from the overstimulation but steve notices and pulls you up against his chest & wraps his bicep around your neck, putting you in a chokehold. âcâmon you canât get away from me yet, i just got you backâ he coos as you paw against his thick bicep. heâs not choking you enough to hurt you or make you pass out, itâs only enough to make you cough and makes you moan even louder if you move too much. soon enough heâs moving his hips as fast as he can against your ass. thereâs nothing else you can do but sit there and take his cock deep inside your tummy as whimpers fall fast your lips. chris places a warm hand on your tummy and rubs it, âcan you see that, thereâs a bulge inside of youâhe says but your brain is all fuzzy and your so cockdrunk you donât hear what heâs saying. all youâre physically capable of doing is nodding. your so overstimulating and dizzy, his cock is making you see stars. steve feels your legs shaking and your hole fluttering around him and he starts to rub your clit. all the attention on your clit makes whine and even shred a couple tears because itâs feel like itâs so much. once he starts rubbing your nipples, you feel yourself gushing all over his cock. you whine from the relief before he unwraps his arm from around your neck and lets your body fall forward & relax against the bed. the release leaves you panting and struggling to catch your breathe. he starts to rub your back before throwing the covers over you as he watching you shiver. âiâm right here, let me know if you need anything,â he says as he scoots under the covers and cuddles your fucked out body. âand donât underestimate me again or iâm not going easy on you next time sweetheartâ he warns as you drift off to sleep from exhaustion.
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