#Also Harry killed it on the floor slay

[disco-drunk]

Ravers⛪🪩

Honestly the whole ravers quest has to be one of my fav moments of the game.

The characters, the atmosphere, THE AMAZING TRACK I'VE BEEN LISTENING ON REPEAT, the dance sequence (CODE 31!!)

This quest was one of the few that actually got me smiling from ear to ear like a dumbass.

Still obsessed with Kim letting himself go even if for a brief moment and absolutely obliterate the dancefloor.

Also Egghead is my spirit animal ong 👏 love that guy.

[lovecanyon]

MATILDA!Y/N X THE GRAMMYS PLSSSSS

INSTAGRAM BLURB

harry x matilda!y/n

MASTERLIST | PATREON

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pagesix Couple Harry Styles and Y/N L/N both attend the gym together today in Los Angeles, ahead of the Grammys!

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harryfan8 PARENTS

harryfan5 i hope y/n is going to the grammys with harry 😭

harryfan10 I WILL GO BATSHIT INSANE

harryfan7 they are each other’s gym buddies…crying

harryfan4 someone kill me

harryfan9 i literally love them together 😩

harryfan12 harry better get a grammy for the album he dedicated to y/n…that’s all i have to say

harryfan15 that man deserves it!

harryfan17 my babies

yourinstagram via stories

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harryupdate HARRY AND KID HARPOON AT THE GRAMMYS!

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harryfan27 omg

harryfan22 it’s the ass grab for me 🤚

harryfan29 I AM ON MY DEATHBED CURRENTLY

harryfan25 forever a styles stan

harryfan21 i can’t do this

harryfan23 don’t call me, don’t come by my house. we’re done.

harryfan26 our little clown 🥰

harryfan28 i’m not breathing

harryfan30 HELLO?? DID ANYONE SEE Y/N’S INSTAGRAM STORIES??

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stylesdaily Y/N ARRIVING AT THE GRAMMYS!

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harryfan32 i had a feeling she would go 🧎‍♀️

harryfan39 SHE CAME WHEN WE NEEDED HIM THE MOST

harryfan34 this is going to kill me

harryfan31 someone wake me up when this is all over

harryfan36 y/n came to slay!!!

harryfan38 she’s going to be sitting at the tables with harry…i bet you

harryfan40 honestly i’m manifesting that 🙏

harryfan33 YES YES YES

harryfan42 y/n is who i want to be

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hsnews Harry accepting his award for Best Pop Vocal Album at the 65th Grammys!

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harryfan49 I’M SOBBING

harryfan43 this is his second grammy!!!!!

harryfan45 WHEN HE GOT UP AND HUGGED Y/N FIRST…

harryfan48 harry loves her so much 😭

harryfan50 this is the most deserving thing ever

harryfan46 AND WE CHEER

harryfan52 HARRIES ARE CURRENTLY CHOKING ON THEIR TEARS

harryfan55 never recovering

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harryflorals HARRY VIA Y/N’S INSTAGRAM STORIES!

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harryfan59 so you’re telling me she got to see harry rehearse 💔

harryfan53 HE’S PERFORMING NEXT

harryfan57 she really is living the life huh

harryfan60 GOD HAS HIS FAVORITES AND Y/N IS ONE OF THEM

harryfan54 i want what she has

harryfan62 y/n…keep on posting grammy content…we need this 🧎‍♀️

harryfan65 crying and throwing up

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updatingharry HARRY PREFORMED AS IT WAS TONIGHT AT THE GRAMMYS!

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harryfan64 people died

harryfan66 CALL AN AMBULANCE. CALL AN AMBULANCE.

harryfan68 why does he look so good 🧎‍♀️

harryfan70 harry also did the as it was choreography too!!!

harryfan67 i’m on the floor

harryfan69 i should’ve been in that crowd 🤚

harryfan71 Y/N GOT TO WATCH THIS

harryfan78 harry = beautiful

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yourinstagram don’t leave your phone unattended at the grammys!!! - harry & lizzo 💋 #hacked

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harryfan73 I’M SCREAMING

harryfan75 i am officially jealous of y/n 😭

harrystyles #Hackedddd.

jefezoff just wait until she sees this

harryfan79 THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BE THEIR FRIENDS SO BAD

harry_lambert YES! I LOVE THIS

harryfan72 this is the best instagram post ever

yourinstagram WJAT

yourinstagram omg.

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dailyhs HARRY HAS WON ALBUM OF THE YEAR AT THE 2023 GRAMMYS!

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harryfan85 HE DID IT

harryfan89 this is how men feel when their superbowl team wins

harryfan82 PLEASEEE 🤭

harryfan84 i can officially die happy

harryfan87 HARRIES VOODOO

harryfan81 he looked so shocked omg

harryfan88 HARRY THANKED Y/N IN HIS SPEECH…I CANNOT DO THIS

harryfan86 that man is so on love with her 💔

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harryupdate HARRY AND Y/N LEAVING SONY’S GRAMMY AFTER PARTY TONIGHT!

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harryfan92 i love them so much 😭

harryfan94 I’M CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP

harryfan98 they are so special to me

harryfan91 y/n and harry are so happy together…i’m sobbing

harryfan95 SHITTING, CRYING, THROWING UP

harryfan93 closing the app for the night.

harryfan97 harry was celebrating his wins with his girlfriend 🧎‍♀️

harryfan99 this is so cute

liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 3,610,922 others

yourinstagram yesterday was truly a dream

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harryfan102 “we” as in her and harry 🥹

harryfan104 THE GRAMMY ON HARRY’S SHOE

harrystyles Without you I wouldn’t have these awards, thank you darling. I love you!

yourinstagram i love you so damn much ❤️❤️❤️

harryfan108 it’s so hard not to love y/n and harry

pillowpersonpp i adore youuuu!!!!

harryfan103 y/n constantly stays winning

lizzobeeating ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS EVER

harryfan105 harry’s comment…i love boyfriendrry

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harrystyles Grammys, February 2023.

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harryfan116 Y/N WINS. THAT’S IT.

harryfan112 pretending like i didn’t see this, good night folks

yourinstagram i love you my grammy winner!

harrystyles Couldn’t feel anymore special.

harryfan110 where can i find myself a harry 🤨

kidharpoon so happy for you

harryfan119 the two different moods these photos have are sending me 😭

harry_lambert the musician and the muse!

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tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @japanchrry @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @seguin-styles1996 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @kaitieskidmore1 @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry @lomlolivia @b-reads-things

[anxious-bisexual-0]

Episode 1: out of the shadows

Portia just walking and waving to buy stuff is so funny

Aww pen admiring the debutantes is so cute

MADAME DELACROIX SUPERIORITY

Gregory is a king

Hyacinth you are amazing

I love how no one knows it’s Francesca playing except for kate…

I do wish there was a “wow Bath really changed you” or something

Benedict knowing what Fran was playing is amazing

Ya know I knew he traveled and you can’t get out of England at that time without a boat but seeing Colin walk off the boat sparked something in me

Aw poor pen just wants love

“Squawking” hyacinth you’re lovely

Colin is a whore I’ll say it now and no doubt I will say it again

I don’t think Colin actually saw her,,,, he would have gone across the street to speak with her if he did.

YESSSSSSS INTRO SLAYYYYYY

I love how they change the intro with each season

MMMMM half naked Colin yay

“Sturdy” I love it

The queen being bored is so me

Those poor debutantes

So miss Stowell is the one who uses BSL but then is hearing for the rest of part 1? Maybe HOH? Idk but slay for representation

Colin where were you

The shock with “style of the season” is fantastic

Aw poor violet seems so sad with Fran wanting to leave

Fran is so lovely. Beautiful and relatable.

Brimsly slays always I can’t ever hate him

Colin what????? stop winking you weirdo

HARRY DANKWORTH IS JUST A PRETTY IDIOT I LOVE HIM

Poor aunt petunia

“Without any man telling us what to do!” -Finch and Dankworth looking at each other 😬😐

“Hiding jars of coin under the floorboards!” -like your daughter, Portia????

My poor pen, you deserve so much better with that outfit and hair

Cressida makes me want to scream idc how much they make me sympathize with her

Pen baby you can’t hide behind that bird thing I’m sorry love

Kate is as always ABSOLUTELY STUNNING I love her and her bond with violet

“Lady Bridgerton” “yes?” I LOVE THEM

Colin no doubt practiced those lines in the restroom or something

Him wearing green and pen’s colors is KILLING MEEEEEE

“Flowers in bloom. Each one of you.” The only flower you care about, my dear, is the WALLFLOWER who you’ve known your whole life SHUUUUT UP

The cowpers always sucked

The Featherington girls always steal the show I love them

Colin you think you’re not flirting with her? You absolutely are.

PEN READ HIM HIS RIIIIGHTS BABY

prudence shut up

Philippa makes me so happy I love her

Again, dankworth just being pretty and in love is fantastic

PORTIA GO AWAY

I love pen just laying in bed restless about her wardrobe cause that was me this past month and I just bought so many new clothes and I love them so much

Does madame Delacroix know about pen’s love of Colin?

THE BOW

“I lost count, in truth” -no you didn’t you liar

Wait don’t Colin and Pen name their daughter Jane after Jane Austen???? (In the books????)

“And what of Penelope?” -you’re obsessed

Eloise very heavily implied that Pen was LW and Colin didn’t catch on, the beautiful idiot

PENELOISE

also Rae is a queen I love her

“I wish you very well, Penelope” kills me

Ben says “Purpose” and Colin wants to cry

“A very cold lady.” “She is colder now, im afraid.” I love him idc

SLAY BARON OF KENT

Anthony is a munch yet again

YES PEN GLOWUP

She is so gorgeous I can’t even begin to describe it

I love how everyone looks at pen except Colin. And Eloise being in awe. AND ALBION BEING A PROUD BIL

Colin your jaw is on the floor stop drooling

I ACTUALLY LIKE EMBROIDERY

Pen, baby love, maybe you should have practiced the chitchat before you got there

Eloise just wants to talk to Pen I can feel the yearning ugh

Colin you idiot you should have gone to talk with her before she left the ball

How did the Queen not recognize Pen? Wasn’t she on those cards last season for unmasking LW?

I would like to see a zebra ball

Fife and those other assholes talking to Fran makes me want to SCREEEEEEAM

Kate what did you to do Anthony he’s so calm

I love seeing pen and Fran together

Ugh Nicola Coughlan is so short I love her so much

The way Debling read her so quickly is so funny to me

Cressida, as always, an asshole

ELOISE SAY SORRY LOUDER

Colin saw pen run away and IMMEDIATELY had to find her. Couldn’t continue to make conversation while she was in distress

“Charming dress” “the color rather suits you” GURL SHUT UP

yes you tell him, pen

I wish they spoke about the letters more this season

SHOCK HIM BABE HAHA BITCH SHE HEARD YOU GET OUTTA HERE

pen really shouldn’t have gone home so angry,,,, she needed to BREEEEEATHE before writing that Whistledown

Dundas talking to portia like that is kinda confusing,,,, isn’t this situation kinda similar to the Mondrich situation?

What happened to the cherry pit, dundas?

Cressida why are you boasting about being a bitch

I don’t think we’d heard Cressida talk this much

I love Anthony’s little ear flop

That’s a strong desk.

The house is so large that Fran and violet in the drawing room can’t hear kanthony fucking is so silly

I love violet making music metaphors without knowing much about music

Fran it’s ok I love you

COLIN YOU ARE INSANE

SO HE REMEMBERS THE COMMENT HE MADE.

the way his voice wavers a bit at “ashamed” kills me

“Very good friend” as he looks down and can’t make eye contact. That is a sign of a man in love. He doesn’t understand his feelings and he’s so confused

CHARM?? BABY THIS IS A CHARADE

“THE ONE PERSON WHO HAS ALWAYS TRULY MADE ME FEEL APPRECIATED” WHAT THE FUCK

The smile and second hand wrapping around hers? Killer.

She’s so happy and relieved and then

BAM

OH SHIT WHAT DID I WRITE LAST NIGHT OH NO

Mondrich family slay

Poor little baby lord Kent he’s so shocked

I love the tennis references. Cause tennis goes at least as far back as king henry VIII

so Philippa knows that pen loooooves colin?

Eloise not telling Colin is noble but also really stupid????

Colin calm down you drama queen it wasn’t that bad

“I will never forgive her” and Eloise trying to see if he knows that it’s pen, knowing that he will forgive her.

HELL YEAH YOULL RUIN HER (not in the way you think,, buddy boy)

[itsdappleagain]

Here we go- on time, for once- with The French Connections Caper! As I mentioned, this is one of my favorite episodes from season one, because I am a little angst whore.

Alrighty- as always, notes are under the cut!

Who in the world reference. GET IT

The rotating pack of mints is so funny. Did acme have that on file?? Did she hack into his bank account??

The picture of julia just looking exhausted with chase is so funny

SIX MONTHS AGO?? THIS SEASON HAPPENED IN SIX MONTHS???

Chase is literally That Stupid

Man can you imagine the episode if PAPER STAR had kidnapped chase???? She would have just killed him

The standing up and saying “I will go” is theater kid level blocking i love that

I’m going to be yammering on about the lens of shadowsan’s double betrayal thing for probably the whole episode but goddd its so good. Severus snape and harry potter’s terf ass wish they had what shadowsan and carmen have

Shadowsan’s motif <333

YOU JOINING A KPOP BAND

Julia in her suit <3333333 YES YES YES part of the reason I love this episode is because its the first time julia sort of gets to stand on her own a little bit…sets up for next season, when she SLAYS

Also, ever notice that in this “virtual tailor” chase has gloves, but in s3 when he finally gets his suit he doesn’t have them? Interesting that some agents get them and some don’t

Chase getting so pissed off about julia saying she didn’t do it alone is SO FUNNY because he’s RIGHT she is NOT talking about him

Your SILENT partner yessir

I LOVE WHEN SHE GETS MAD AND YELLS AT HIM GO JULIA GET HIS ASS

DEFEND YOUR WIFE 💪

Chase’s ego is so large that it blinds him- jackie made a post on it already so I’ll just reference that, but its brilliant characterization

You can make yourself look like a law enforcement imbecile jusst fine

I love the way julia storms off. She cn’t take very large steps so its just very angry and quick heel clatters

She WANTS to be planning something nefarious but unfortunately she must be on the beach

Poor baby she looks so uncomfortable dsghfjda. Also another instance of a stellar outfit that we never get to see again </3

Ivy is actually weirdly talented at making gigantic detailed sand castles. That wave was so poorly timed her poor vile central

Also. wicked wicked

IVY YELLING AT ZACK IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE CARMEN JUST DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ANYTHING

Yeahhh well you say you’re never going back to vile island. And technically you are right

FIELD TRIP!

THE SHOCK WHEN BRUNT SAYS THAT DJHDSFD

PLS SHE BUMPED BELLUM ON THE WAY UP WHY DID SHE DO THAT

I love the role reversal that shadowsan and brunt do here. Shadowsan is expected to be The Worst and Brunt is carmen’s closest thing to a mother. But in actuality….brunt is a murderous spiteful little bitch and shadwsan is evolving into dadowsan

Jsdfads the look on shadowsan’s face. He knows that everything just got a looot more complicated for him

At least he’s kind of self aware right

Chase only being nice to her because he knows she’s smarter than he is is so funny. He drinks the most vaguely mysoginistic respect women juice on the planet

You have no idea how much the line “wow, foamy” has impacted my daily life. I literally say it every single time i brush my teeth. I can’t stop

NOT THE VILE BRAND LOGO ON THE TOOTHPASTE AND EVERYTHING 

Chase lying on the floor looking like he just died of rabies is the funniest fucking thing

American outlets in france 👍

Carmen did a whole costume change between noon and sunset

Mesmerized by the way that top tuft of hair she has blows in the wind. Wow. could watch that all day

I love how the message goes “SURRENDER WE HAVE CHASE DEVINEAUX” and carmen is just like. Wait. partner??? Travel partner??? 😌😌😌

She’s kind of chill about mentioning that vile is definetely going to kill devineaux and then capture her in this little plan of theirs

“Which is why I’ll need to be careful” she says, walking into a closed off basement with no preparation at all

Why the hell would they put where they were keeping him in the Evil Email they sent her wouldn’t that just set her up to try a rescue mission

Props to raf for making the most diverse array of clueless grunting noises I have ever heard in my life

I cANT HELP BUT LAUGH WHEN BRUNT SAYS “BONJOUR” LIKE THAT. SHES TRYING SO HARD TO BE SINISTER BUT SHE’S JUST TEXAN

Wheeze acme set the expectation for him to be kidnapped for employment reasons

ASK YOU WHAT he’s so stupid i love him

“I’ve seen your keycard” said with the exact same tone as. Someting. I don’t know i love how she says that she’s just like Yeah. I’ve seen it. Hah

Shadowsan and that damn sword for intimidation tactics

Oogh that twisted little smile when brunt goes to get the brain scrambler 

Alternate episode where chase gets the hard way and carmen just walks in to a sad sack of broken bones on the floor

I love the almost impressed look on shadowsan’s face when he tells her that he’s singing the french national anthem. Like. of course he is

Interesting little detail that chase leans over and spits out the gag while carmen and company are just kind of making quips about him being tortured

I love he some good drunk but not drunk character tropes in cartoons. Drunk adora. Laughing gassed up anne. Sick luz. We didn’t get drunk carmen but we did get drunk chase and you know what I’m fine with that

THE WAY HIS EYES FLICK TO THEM WHEN HE SAYS BILE IS ALWAYS SO FUNNY TO ME

Love how shadowsan doesn’t care at all what happens to chase. He cares about carmen, but he’s still a VILE operative. She’s pretty much the only one he cares about until he’s spent a little while with TR

Mmm the music is so good in this ep as well

Thinking abt how if ivy was controlling red drone and carmen was sneaking off to rescue chase…that was zack in carmen cosplay who was dramatically standing ontop of the roof

The weird little petnames brunt uses for chase are also so funny

I have wanted to edit that shot of shadowsan running and jumping over chimneys onto the dinosaur game for SO LONG

Its cool how different the body types of the carmen decoys are. Its pretty easy to tell who’s who even with their faces not showing

IVYYYY

You can rock red, zack. I mean. You pick a devil costume out by yourself in s3 so clearly you know it too

I am shocked that she didn’t check the dumpster because. THATS WHERE I WOULD HAVE LOOKED. I guess she knows carmen’s style well enough- in s3 when they’re talking about catching carmen sandiego 101 zuko and luz mention that part of it was knowing that she always takes the high ground, anakin. And while this is zack the two of them are pretty well trained on carmen’s movements, clearly. They jump across the rooftops and everything just like she does to be convincing

JSHDGDS HE JUST GETS SLAMMED

BAIT N SWITCH…alright here we go

I like the little setup she has there. She brought the electrocuter thing because she had to get the cuffs off, but she uses it in the fight later too

Another little detail in the animation of chase’s sweat dripping to the floor when he falls

That little interaction between the two of them is so cool. Carmen doesn’t know what to expect, or how she can see or anything. OR that she knows exactly who she is

Pls its 4:30 in the morning the carmen team really do have a messed up sleep schedule

Sleepy julia in pajamas <3333

Me watching a france based murder mystery show: haha. Gendairme. I know how to pronounce that

It is a little inconsistent how carmen has so much difficulty dragging him out here…when these three meet again in mexico carmen just shoves him off the wrestling ring and into a chair with very little effort, although that may be evidence of her training and getting stronger over time.

Anyway, I’m exTREMELY excited for this fight. It is SO BRUTAL 

THE BENDNG THE METAL IS. GOD

She’s so. Like. hulking??? Its so creepy how she moves, especially when she uses all these little petnames at the same time as she’s cracking her neck 

THE CATCH OF HER FOOT IS SO GOOD GOD. brunt KNOWS her and even if she didn’t maybe expect her to have a gun she can catch her move pretty easily. This entire fight is full of brunt catching what carmen is going to do as she does it- except for the time with the taser

GOD the crashing into the chair augh that must have hurt so bad wheeze

Brunt is terrifying. She doesn’t slink around or do any acrobatics. She’s just like a final video game boss that has a tracker on your location and does not stop coming

GOD YEAH SEE. SHE CATCHES CARMEN’S KICK AND THEN JUST S L A M S HER INTO THAT SHELF

Carmen is again so used to the athletic, fast-moving operatives who usually match her in everything but cleverness, or use long distance weapons like paper star does. But brunt….it doesnt matter how smart carmen is when brunt can overpower her and fling her into the concrete like a bug

Goddd you can see carmen thinking about what the hell she can do. She knows strength isn’t going to work, so she has to find something else to distract brunt while she gets her baby taser

It makes sense actually now that the taser doesnt knock brunt out like a crackle rod would. Its meant for disabling hadcuff electronics, not seizing up the muscles of full grown woman

THE DESPERATION ON CARMEN’S FACE AS SHE ELECTROCUTES BRUNT IS SO GOOD. she knows this is not a good situation. She does. This is not her usual fighting style, obviously. She just wants to get out

The SMOKE when carmen gets electrocuted fuck

UNGH i love how different this fight is. Carmen stumbles on the run to the door and THAT is how you know she’s really in trouble. She’s just yanking on it trying to get out at this point. Its more instinct than battle- she’s just clawing at ANYTHING that could help her 

And then her coat gets ripped. Every time her coat is off in this show she is not in a good spot. Becauseeee COLOR THEORY!! That red is her sign she’s got a chance, but when it comes off and gets destroyed everything. Is. green. Same thing happens in hot rocks of rio, so look out for that next week. It’s really interesting to notice once you find the patterns

MMGH WHEN SHE CLUTCHES HER SIDE AND THEN HER HAND GETS CRUSHED AND HER EYES WIDEN AND SHE JUST KNOWS

That gasp when she’s down on thr ground will be the death of me. And then the rattling on the grate just. Trying to get away and do ANYTHING to save herself from this person she once called a mother figure its SO angsty god i love it

There were NO breaks in that fight scene until carmen was on the ground with absolutely no choices left. It keeps the emotion UP and TENSE and it is FANTASTIC. We get a break once we cut back to shadowsan and the gang…player telling carmen she just needs to make it a little longer, because the cops are better than being dead

Also. zack just waking up with the banana peel on his head.

Why does player have the individual tracking locations of all the cops in the city

Seaosn one and season two were written and made pretty much at the same time, which was SUCH a strong choice. THIS FINALE sets up ALL OF SEASON TWO and SEASON TWO’S FINALE. AUGH. it is such a fantastic end to the season

I love that carmen gets to learn that it wasn’t this woman who rescued her from “the side of the road” here. She doesn’t have to live with that idea in her head….that she could be saved by the same woman who was trying to kill her

Instead she’s saved again by the one who really cared all along- since the moment he saved her from the fire

Please carmen looks so small on the ground there its so scary to watch

God that returning to vile island is for carmen a fate worse than death is so. Its so

Ive always been frustrated with carmen for not. I dont know. Lying?? Saying ok sure ill go back fine to buy herself some time, so that the cops could come in and help her. But i get it. Yknow?? Carmen isn’t that person. But boy would that have prevented a lot of the rib breakage that is about to go down 

God. how limp carmen is in that moment. She flinched away when brunt goes to touch her face, but she just looks. Kind of regretful. She doesn’t really, i think, expect what is about to happen. She just thinks brunt is going to bat her around some more..

Also. how limp carmen is when brunt pulls her into the “hug” is also so scary. GOD i don’t know if its because she’s trying to prepare herself or if she’s in so much pain or if its because some part of her still trusts brunt

That tragic look almost into the camera when she realizes what brunt is doing is HAUNTING i love that sm

This is so dark btw. The foreshadowing way back in episode two for this when brunt hugs her so hard that she feels something crack to now, when that motherly role has twisted into. This

That last gasping breath carmen takes is another one thats just so. Augh. she is really and truly about to die

God the knowledge that at some point carmen just closed her eyes and let it happen because there was nothing else she could do is. What the fuck. Or maybe she just couldn’t breathe enough anymore to keep them open

SHADOWSAN!!

THE WAY SHE SCRAMBLES BACK AS SOON AS BRUNT GOES LIMP IS. god i love that shot. She’s so. Worn down at that point she’s more like a wild animal than anything ig. Just trying to get away get away get away

And then the way she, still gasping for breath and her voice choked with pain, insults shadowsan because her voice is the only defense she has against him right now

Pls i love shadowsan he doesn’t know how to not be intimidating. Running at her with a sword. “I did not come here to take you back.” this moment scared me SO BAD when i was 13 watching this for the first time. I expected it to cut back to her lying on the floor with some grevious injury, maybe to be narrowly saved by her team but frantically rushed to the hospital or something. 

The shadowsan twist is one of the best I think I’ve seen. Its set up and foreshadowed, enough that you could maybe see it coming on first and have all those little “ohh” moments on later watches. When you really step back and say, “what is the consequence of shadowsan doing all of this?” its carmen being able to escape and not becoming a vile operative. Its. yeah. I dont know. Its so good

AUGH the fear on her face. He steps over coach’s pretty much lifeless body, draws his sword. All she has is a fucking wrench

Player gripping his monitor and screaming her name is SO,, UNGH HE THINKS SHE’S DEAD

And the way they cut back with just the limp bodies around them, as shadowsan sheathes his blade. They knew what they were doing obviously

MM AND THEN THE LITTLE CHIME OF CARMEN’S MOTIF WHEN WE SEE THAT SHE’S ALIVE AND SAFE

THAT IS A QUESTION pls i’ve made fun of shadowsan here before because like. Yes. please do follow me into the dark hole no questions asked. I Will Not Stab You once we are at a more convenient and private location that you have moved yourself to. Or transport you back to VILE. just trust me okay carmen follow me right now

LOCK US UP,,, YEAH. REACH US. i love that little…its so small. The us and the little admission of how VILE works (hey- also sets up season THREE’s finale. wild). Yes yes yes. 

I love how shadowsan doesn’t want to admit it. But they have been in it together

GOD YEAH AND THEN. SHE DROPS THE WRENCH and THATS how you know she trusts him, and understands. Thats her last line of defense gone

“It was you….you were the one who found me.”

“YOU ARE IN NO CONDITION TO LEAVE HERE ON YOUR OWN” i love how shouty he is in this season he doesn’t have a gentle voice. He doesnt really. Know how to be vulnerable

But he tries. He tries so hard. He just. He says please and reaches out to her

DOOGY

Girlie im sorry but opening that grate wider would not have made brunt fit any better

That mass of flashing lights in the city is such a good way to show how far they went. Also. why did shadowsan make carmen walk like three miles with her fucked up ribs wheeze. He made her climb some stairs and everything

But he’s soooo gentle with her when they’re walking its so sweet. He lets her lean on him and helps her down to the ground so she can rest…makes sure she is safe before he says anything else and tries to get her medical attention. He is the dadowsan

Ungh gina. Gina gina please. Please put any kind of emotion into “argentina tell me everything now” like thats KIND of an emotional line..,, urgh. The problem i have with gina i think is that she is a fine ACTOR but being a VOICE ACTOR is a LOT DIFFERENT THAN THAT. she doesnt have all her little nice facial expressions and stuff she has carmen who is already inexpressive as is. So when she says that line it just sounds so flat 

He’s only lying about it a little bit, really honestly

Shadowsan: a jerk

“You knew what they’d do to me when I said no” is such an underrated line i love that one

THE COAT WAS EMPTY!! 

Carmen sounds so much like black sheep when she says “i knew it” and I love that so much. I don’t know if that was a directing choice given to gina but it was a good one. Also carmen forgetting her ribs are fucked up lmaoo

FIRST SHADOWSAN SMILE WHEN HE SAYS HE KNWS CARMEN WOULD ENJOY PROVING THAT TO HERRR that is the moment i think when he really becomes human :)))

She got my posture fr

That shot of shadowsan walking away from her as the police lights flash between them and the architecture frames everything is soo pretty

I guess i scare easy when i see a drawn sword is such a good line its so funny. i would too! Maybe he didnt have to extend the ruse all the way until he was a mile away from the school and no one was in sight except carmen herself but alright

IT WAS HIMMM WITH THE HELICOPTER I LOVE THAT REVEAL

NO WAY!!!! I love that its kind of a black sheepism

Shadowsan is like yeah i was happy you escaped but GIRLIE I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD START FIGHTING CRIME LMAO???

The lug jsdfhds

Julia’s like not chief. Not chief with the random carmen accusations too

Used it to bait him?? How would she have done that?? She’s like in the cheese and breath mints store and she goes over the intercom like “chase devineaux please report to the shadowy death basement! We have your keycard <3”

AND LEFT WITH AN EVIL VILE MASTERMIND KSHGDFJGDS player is so right for that

That shot of her sitting and talking to player as the sun rises behind her is also beautiful i love that shot

Ahhh the way she gets up so carefully because of her injuries its so good

“A present” okay its okay you can tell him carmen

I HAVE A FEELING WE’RE GOING TO HAVE MORE CAPERS TO PLOT WOOHOO SEASON TWO BABYYYYY

ONCE MORE the shot of her standing there and the camera zooming way out is ALSO gorgeous its my blog header actually

YEAHH AND THEN THE CREDITS MUSICCC

God i cant believe we’re already done with season one!! I am SO EXCITED for season two- its my favorite out of all of the seasons and its where things REALLY get juicy. We’ve got the setup and standard formula out and we can start playing around with dynamics, backstories, history, new cast, lore, character development…yes yes yes yes yes i am so excited!!!

Love this episode, solid and fantastic end to a seaosn, which cs finales usually are. Alright- with the feeling that I’m going to have more capers to react to, this is me signing off of season 1 for cs weekly!!

[sarascamander]

Another Eddie Flynn's book review cause it's awesome ✨ (The Devil Advocate).

- I LOVE the series but I stopped reading halfway through Fifty-fifty because Harper died and I was so upset and in disbelief I couldn't read it anymore.

- a few months later (yk, when my feeling is numb and I forgot Harper even died) I pick it up again and continue with the next book of the series.

- I miss Eddie so much, he's such a sassy little shit. Best lawyer ever.

- Bloch is just — she's a fuckin badass and a Queen. I'm on my knees for her.

- Kate and Bloch are married in my mind. Bloch only smiles and talks much with Kate and Kate only feels completely safe with Bloch. (Kate is also a badass queen. She grows so much from the previous book!!!)

- I HATE it when it is a small town that acts like a cult. Like bruh — stop bullying Eddie and his team and stop just believing everything you hear??? Where's your critical thinking???

- The corrupt system makes me want to scream. Burn the whole town to the ground for all I care.

- WTF WAS THAT??? I REALLY THOUGHT HARRY WAS DEAD. I WAS LIKE MR CAVANAGH FIRST YOU MURDERED EDDIE'S GF AND NOW YOU WANT TO KILL HIS FATHER FIGURE TOO?? WHY?????? HOW COULD YOU?? I WAS ON THE FLOOR SOBBING but then. BUT THEN. Suddenly showed that Harry was alive I was like THANK FUCKING GOD BUT WHAT THE HELL MR. CAVANAGH??? WHY WOULD YOU PULL MY HEARTSTRING LIKE THAT????

- first day of trial! That opening speech Eddie gave??? HE ATE THAT UP. LEFT ABSOLUTELY ZERO CRUMBS. And Kate! Oh my god!!!!! SHE SLAYED SO HARD. She ate that medical examiner UP. God!! I know that this is their strongest defense but I hope they can keep up that momentum 😭

[1d1195]

First of all bestie you could NEVER make me hate you especially over a silly hairstyle! And if people end be up hating on you for that… that’s not it lol also this is gonna part 1 of my ramble 😭

ANWAYS I’m in constant conflict with how I feel about that mullet HAHA at first I was like “a mullet?! WHY?” But then I saw the vision and kinda liked it😔 and rn I’m not sure tbh! BUT I’m not sure if it’s bc he’s HARRY and I’m just kind “blinded” by finding him attractive in general lol bc he’s definitely hot no matter what in my eyes so idk lol plus I fear I’m so use to seeing so many people have mullets (I guess it’s trendy now?!) that maybe I’m just not as big of a hater as I use to be lol btw I LOVED the visuals you gave! That tattoo roulette pic has me STUNNED the first time I saw it! And I kinda love you’re not an automatic lhh lover🤭 though I am a fan of when he had a middle part, like for when he did SNL so idk about my opinion lol

I simply am lowkey sick of my phone lately so idk wtf is going on lol though I love polls! It’s interesting what people are thinking! I genuinely don’t remember exactly what was the last poll I got to vote on but I remember clicking on a Sun kissed option and I was in the minority of votes 😭

SAM YOURE GONNA KILL ME WITH THAT BREEDING KINK!!! I will simply cease to exist whenever we get to meet that Harry😵‍💫 I truly love how you write your Harry’s like i simply can’t!!! And bestie I love when a man is begging and just groveling on the FLOOR for forgiveness!! Very excited 😌

Omg you’re of course one of those people!! Honestly I would have been more surprised if babies WEREN’T drawn to you lol I’m sure it’s just a vibe you give off like babies can see your pure and sweet heart! In another universe you most likely would have had your Honey moment or like a daycare moment! And omg that’s absolutely such an adorable moment and such a good concept 😭

Financial anxiety is so REAL! Especially since you mentioned how growing up it impacted you a lot! And growing up poor too, i totally get it!! It’s a very conflicting feeling lol

Omg bestie you don’t even KNOW how obsessed I was with fucking true crime and like paranormal stuff growing HAHAHA the true crime stuff now terrifies me now bc HELLO?!? But honestly some of these murder mystery books I got to reread again are kinda still a slay lol but the pottery stuff I got really into it in middle school and lowkey stopped reading it when the pandemic hit lol anyways finished sorting out some books so I will be donating them later this week!

Agree about the AC!! Growing up in school there was NO AC and we had to constantly suffer with the heat waves! Girl you’re like a young millennial which makes sense you would be drawn to that aesthetic and there’s nothing wrong with it! If it makes you happy then there’s no harm!

I always get so sad/worried when my dogs are slightly off bc I love them 😭 When I tell you the first thing encounter I had with my finaid office I fucking CRIED! Had to wait on a fuck ass zoom for almost two hours only for a MAN to tell me it was my fault(it fucking was a mistake on their end) and to just get loans and a payment plan was my HELL!!! My mom had to calm me down it was so embarrassing lol Anyways I loved that you gave that feedback and honestly very you and I love that!

I actually decided to shorten the black dress to like my mid thigh!! Sounds short but I’m not tall so it will look somewhat okay lol and the second one is actually a dark blue dress that shimmers when it hits a certain light! It looks black but it’s actually blue and I’m excited to wear it! That one will be slightly above the knee! And maxi dresses are cute! And I bet they look cute on you!!

Hope you had a lovely weekend! Hope it was restful and fun! ALSO I hope your week is starting well!! LOVE YOU!!!-💜

I'm putting a cut here because I wanted to warn anyone else that reads our pen pal letters that I'm going to talk about audio porn a little lol what an ENTRANCE to this message idk if you'll even be able to tell where my train of thought came from to introduce it like this 😂

Number one--obsessed with two part asks hehehe I love this for us. SAW THE VISION. I'm glad you saw it I haven't 💀 I think I def have this blindness as well but it's so trendy rn and I'm just NOT hear for it. If my bf got a mullet I would shave his head tbh. I just think his hair looked stringy and needed a wash and I haven't forgiven him for that 😭 I wash my hair every day because Harry and I actually have very similar hair and if I don't wash it every day it gets so greasy and gross (and before anyone comes for me I KNOW it's because I wash it every day 🙃 but I can't do it. I just feel better when I shower so what am I going to do? I do so little for my own self care ANYWAY)

I LOVE polling everyone. I think it's so helpful 😭 and I agree, knowing what everyone thinks really helps inform my decision and focus to write.

HEHEHEHE you may have already met that Harry Not to out myself here but I recently downloaded Quinn which is audio porn and it's *mwah* chef's kiss. It's giving me all kinds of ideas for Harry and I like to find the audios where the guy is all worshippy of the girl. Honestly, I don't even listen to it for the porn part I'm just here for the plot 😂 there's a couple brother's best friend's ones that have me salivating to write something. I'm AMPED.

I think in another life I probably will open a day care. I should have just taught elementary school the way the gods probably intended me to but alas. Knock on wood my group is... don't want to jinx it but I will say I'm not exhausted right now (at least not from teaching).

I'm not tall either so I get it. I love a shimmery dress! That sounds so nice! I've been getting tons of compliments on all my clothes recently so I like to believe I might be figuring out my own sense of style. Even the kids notice and think I look cute which is not the point but I think it's nice they notice because a lot of these kids are so trendy and adorable. One of my students from a couple years ago should have won best dressed. She could have worn a trash bag to soo. She was so adorable and I would ask for her opinion about what I should wear to chaperone prom/homecoming 😂

I hope you NEVER have to talk to financial aid ever again 💕

I had a slightly busy but good weekend. I was very productive and I'm trying to keep pace because I fear October is going to be busy as hell 🙃

I hope your week is going well too 💕 LOVE YOU!

[pleasingsatellite]

DWD Review *contains major spoilers

This is my official review of DWD I just got home and this might contain spoilers 🫢 Okay so I saw it with my bf who said when the movie started and I quote “Harry and Florence are in a lot of movies together. Like this and the Olivia Wilde movie?” and so of course I was like uh this is the Olivia Wilde movie and he replied with “this isn’t the movie where he plays a gay cop?” so that’s how that started.

Okay actual review time if anyone actually reads this: It was good! like a 3/5 for me! I’ll start with what I liked FLORENCE OMG she swept the floor with everyone else (sorry harry) she’s such an amazing actress and didn’t disappoint like the scene where Jack’s being promoted and they focus on her face and she’s crying omg she SLAYED!!! I’m also obsessed with the cinematography and the score they were so good. Harry did good!!! Like other people said there were scenes were it felt like I was watching Harry act and then scenes where I felt like I was watching jack and not Harry. I’m so excited for MP since I feel like he’ll do amazing in that! Gemma and Chris did so well too like they played evil so well the dinner scene with Gemma made me hate her character. I also liked Bunny she was fun comedic relief

Okay now for what I didn’t like or what confused me: stupid ending omg I hated it, I like resolution and it felt like either they didn’t know how to end it or wanted to set it up for a sequel but like I just at least wanted to see Alice wake up in the bed. I didn’t like how there was things they’d mention and then just never mention again or explain such as Margaret’s son wtf happened to him? Bunny’s kids in the real world? she just says she likes the fake world cause she can be with them like wtf happened to them? Did Shelley know the entire time? she just like kills frank then says it’s her turn so is she taking over or is she finding out it’s all fake too? the focus on planes like what does it mean? the “earthquakes” they weren’t actually working so what we’re they actually? Also it felt like there were things where you can tell olivia wants you to see the movie twice to be like “oooh that makes sense” like how the doctor asks jack “what’s it you brit’s say?” and jack doesn’t know what to say or how he says frank hates tuna but in reality current jack only eats tuna cause it’s all he can afford but like she placed them so far apart you forget to connect the dots. Genuinely if anyone has any insight or theories to the things I’m confused about I’d love to hear them!

okay that’s all! I’ll def rewatch it when it goes on HBO max in like Nov and thought it was fun and had such the potential to be the movie of the year but all the plot holes lost me 😔

[justauthoring]

To Be Loved (6/?)

Prompt: Perhaps, you understand Harry Potter better then anyone else. Perhaps, it’s why, when your eyes meet his for the first time, you feel an instant connection. Perhaps, it’s why, you love him.

Based off of: The Harry Potter Series Pairing: Harry Potter x Black/Tonks!Reader, slight Fred Weasley x Black/Tonks!Reader A/N: OKAY! WE’RE FINALLY BACK!! I’m so happy to finally be continuing this series and I am so excited to see what you guys think of it -- especially come POA and on! I worked really hard on this chapter and I hope it was exactly what you guys were expecting.

Also, come the end scene with the house points, I lowered how many points Gryffindor has originally so it, you know, makes more sense.

Oh, how Ted and Andromeda would be disappointed in you.

You, who has never once acted out. You, who prided yourself on always being the best you could be. You, who had somehow found yourself wrapped up in detention with four others and for some reason, was a bit elated at the thrill of it all.

Of course, you’d never say that aloud.

Following closely behind Hermione, you eye the back of Filch with distain, rolling your eyes at his comment of “missing the old punishments” which was obviously a subtle-not-so-subtle threat. Because you highly doubted Hogwarts would ever approve of such teaching methods.

But then again, by the look of fear on Hermione’s face -- who were you to truly know?

“You’ll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight.” Filch explains, just as the group of you reach his hut, Hagrid himself stepping out. “He’s got a little job to do inside the Dark Forest.”

Maybe you were wrong about Hogwarts’ teaching methods after all...

“A sorry lot, this, Hagrid,” Filch calls sharply.

Glancing up at Hagrid, you frown at his lack of a reaction.

“Good God,” Filch huffs, exasperated, “you’re not still on about that bloody dragon, are you?”

You absolutely hate the smug look on Malfoy’s face.

“Norbit’s gone,” Hagrid sniffles, “Dumbledore sent him off to Romania to live in a colony.”

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Hermione doubts, shaking her head in confusion. “He’s with his own kind.”

“Yeah, but what if he don’t like Romania?”

Lips parting, you frown -- you guess, that was, sort of, hard logic to argue with.

“What if the other dragons are mean to him? He’s only a baby after all.”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Filch cuts in, disgusted, “pull yourself together. You’re going into the forest, after all. Got to have your wits about you.”

You share a nervous look with Hermione.

“The forest?” Draco calls, all squeaky-voiced and panicked. “I thought that was a joke. We can’t go in there. Students aren’t allowed. And there are...” On que, just as Draco pauses, you hear a distant wolf howling. “...werewolves.”

You roll your eyes. Figures he’d be a coward when he came down to it. All talk.

“There’s more than werewolves in those trees. You can be sure of that.” And after a dramatic pause, Filch steps forward with the intent to leave. “Nighty-night.”

You turn to Hagrid expectantly.

“Right. Let’s go.”

-

Hagrid had split you off with Draco and Harry and while you detested having to be with Malfoy, it wasn’t so bad with Harry there too. You simply ignored the boy as he rattled off about his this was ridiculous and ‘servants work’ -- you’re sure he makes some sort of comment about ‘wait till my father hears about this’ but you don’t much care either way.

You stick close to Harry, keeping one hand on Fang along the way. Even if he was ‘a bloody coward’ as Hagrid so kindly put it, it felt nicer having him by yourself.

But the calm only lasts so long -- or what could be considered ‘calm’. The three of you halt to a stop at the sound of Fang barking, the action causing you to jump violently, your attention instantly being stolen by the sight before you. The injured unicorn Hagrid had sent you all off in search of, clearly dead now, with a cloaked, hidden figure hovering over him.

You blink, head turning towards Harry when he lets out a cry of pain. Your eyes widen when you realize he’s touching his scar. 

“Harry, what’s--”

But you’re cut off by Draco screaming, loudly, and running off in the next second. Fang follows him, and the loss of him next to you causes you to let out a light whimper of fear, turning back in the direction of the hooded figure only to find it now looking directly in yours and Harry’s direction. 

You stumble back, expecting Harry to follow you and the both of you to run off together. But Harry doesn’t ever break out into a run.

“Harry!” You whisper harshly, just as the cloak figures moves, almost gliding towards the two of you -- though it’s clear to both you and Harry, that he’s after him and not you. “Harry, we have to go!”

You pull on the sleeve of his cloak and he stumbles back, crashing into you. The two of you lose your footing, and a scream tears past your lips as you crash into the forest floor, eyes widening in terror when you realize just how close the figure has gotten.

But it does make it closer then that. In the next second, the sounds of hooves rattling echo above the both of you, and then there’s a massive shadow gliding over the top of your heads, landing directly in front of you -- thus blocking the hooded figures path to you and Harry.

Your eyes widen when the centaur easily scares it off.

Harry turns to look at you, and you share a baffled look back at him, just as lost. He stands, helping you up to your feet just as the centaur starts making his way towards the both of you. 

“Harry Potter,” and you blink, “you and your friend must leave. Many creatures know you here. The forest is not safe for the both of you at this time. Especially for you.”

“But...” Harry whispers, astonished. “What was that thing you saved us from?”

“A monstrous creature,” he says simply, “it is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn.”

He gestures to the slain creature, and you frown at the sight of it.

“Drinking it’s blood will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death. But at a terrible price. For you have slain something so pure...that the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life--”

“A cursed life,” you finish, causing both pairs of eyes to fall on you. Flushing, you shrink into yourself. “Sorry,” you eye Harry, before turning to the centaur. “Something a friend told me once.”

“You are right,” the centaur nods gently in your direction.

“Who would choose such a life?” Harry whispers.

“Can you think of no one?”

“Do you mean to say that that thing that killed the unicorn...that was drinking it’s blood, that was Voldemort?”

You gasp at the sound of the name, “harry!”

“What?” He turns to you, wide-eyed.

“You can’t just--”

“Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment?” The centaur interrupts you, leaning so he’s right before the both of you.

And then it dawns on you, and by the look on Harry’s face, he’s realized it too.

“The Philosopher’s Stone.”

“--Harry!”

You blink at the sight of Hagrid and the rest.

“Hello there, Firenze,” Hagrid greets. “See you’ve met our young Mr. Potter. And of course, Ms. Tonks. You all right there, you two?”

Glancing at Harry, the both of you quickly nod at Hagrid.

“Harry Potter,” Firenze calls, stepping towards him, “this is where I leave you. You’re safe now,” he turns to you, smiling gently. “The both of you. Good luck.”

You watch in astonishment as he turns, galloping off.

-

“I’ve always heard Hogwart’s final exams with frightful, but I found that quite fun.”

Laughing gently at Hermione, you shake your head.

“Speak for yourself,” Ron snorts, before his attention is stolen by Harry. “All right there, Harry?”

Glancing past Hermione’s shoulder, you frown at the sight of the boy holding a hand to his scar much like he had that night in the forest.

“My scar,” he whispers, “it keeps burning.”

Frowning, you speak up; “it’s happened before.”

“Not like this,” Harry argues.

“You should see the nurse.”

“I think it’s a warning. It means danger’s coming.”

Just as he finishes speaking, Harry comes to a slow stop.

The rest of you follow, glancing at each other curiously. But before either of you can say anything, Harry’s mumbling to himself; “of course...” and then, he’s suddenly rushing forward. Right towards Hagrid.

“What is it?”

“Don’t you find it odd that what Hagrid wants more than anything is a dragon...and a strange just happens to have one? I mean, how many people wander around with dragon eggs? Why didn’t I see it before?”

Equally as panicked as him, the four of you break out into a run, directly for Hagrid.

“Hagrid,” Harry calls, wasting no time for greetings. “Who gave you the dragon egg? What did he look like?”

“I don’t know,” Hagrid shrugs, baffled. “I never saw his face. He kept his hood up.”

Your eyes widen, turning to Harry; “just like in the forest.”

“You and this stranger must of talked,” Harry continues, nodding at you.

“Well,” Hagrid slows starts, recalling the moment. “He wanted to know what sort of creatures I looked after. I told him, “after Fluffy, a dragon’s gonna be no problem’.”

“Did he seem interested in Fluffy?”

“Of course he was interested. How often do you come across a three-headed dog? But I told him, ‘the trick with any beast is to know how to calm him’. Take Fluffy, for example. Play him music and he falls straight to sleep.”

The four of you look at each -- he just gave it away.

“I shouldn’t have told you that.”

-

“Do you think Ron and Hermione will be alright?”

“Yes,” Harry says quickly -- and it’s almost so quick, it sounds like he’s try to convince the both of you that it’s true. After that game of wizard’s chess, you were worried about Ron, and while you admired Hermione’s bravery and selflessness to stay back with him, you couldn’t help but worry at the idea of the four of you being separated.

Pausing to look at you, Harry nods; “they have to be.”

You nod at him, smiling faintly.

Then, the two of you stop in front of a door.

“What do you reckon’s next?”

“Quirrell and Snape are what’s left,” you whisper, shaking your head. “So, honestly, no idea.”

Harry let’s his hand fall on the handle, turning to you; “all right?”

You nod, “go on.”

He pushes it open and almost instantly a foul floods you. You pull at the sleeve of your sweater, pulling it over your nose to block the smell. Harry does the same, and the both of you eye the huge troll, with a bloody lump on it’s head with watering eyes. It was even bigger then the one from the bathroom.

“Quirrell,” you gasp, eyeing it with disgust.

“I’m glad we don’t have to fight that one,” Harry comments, pulling at your sleeve. “Come on, let’s go.”

The two of you quickly slip into the next room, staying as quiet as possible not to wake the troll. A sense of relief floods you as the foul smell no longer is invading your senses and you brace yourself for what’s next, only to find yourself puzzled by the lack of anything frightening. Just seven vials lined before you.

You take a step forward, and Harry follows, then, instantly a whooshing sound echoes.

You jump, glancing behind you, you eye the fire that now blocks the way you’d came with bafflement. It’s purple, not orange like a normal fire. And, glancing ahead of yourself, a black fire traps the both of you inside from the other end.

“Snape’s,” Harry says, “what do we do?”

“I...--” You eye the room with puzzlement, before noticed the scroll laying next to the bottles. “There,” you call, stepping forward and quickly unrolling the paper. Harry steps closer to you, leaning over your shoulder to read.

Danger lies before you, while safety lies behind, Two of us will help you, whichever you would find, One among us seven will let you move ahead, Another will transport the drinker back instead, Two among our number hold only nettle wine, Three of us are killers, waiting hidden in line. Choose, unless you wish to stay here for evermore, To help you in your choice, we give you these clues four: First, however slyly the poison tries to hide You will always find some on nettle wine’s left side; Second, different are those who stand at either end, But if you would move onwards, neither is your friend; Third, as you see clearly, all are different size, Neither dwarf nor giant holds death in their insides; Fourth, the second left and the second on the right Are twins once you taste them, though different at first sight. 

“It’s a puzzle,” you mumble and Harry turns to you. “Purely logic,” you further explain. “A lot of wizards don’t have an ounce of logic, meaning they’d be trapped here forever.”

Harry huffs, shoulders falling. “So will we.”

You shake your head, swallowing thickly. “I think... I think I can work it out,” you say softly, not trusting your own self. 

What if you couldn’t?

“Give me a minute.”

Three minutes later and you let out a cry of frustration, Harry turns to you in panic.

“I need Hermione,” you cry, turning to him with a shake of your head. “She’d know what to do. She’s smarter then I--”

“Hey, that’s not true,” Harry cuts in, surprising you. “You’re just as smart as she is.”

“Harry,” you sigh, shaking your head. “You know that’s not true. Hermione knows everything about everything, she’d be able to figure this out. Just like she was able to figure out the Devil’s snare. You and Ron too. You got the key, and Ron beat the Wizard’s chess, I haven’t--”

“What happened before doesn’t matter,” Harry cuts in, stepping towards you, setting his hands on your shoulders and squeezing them reassuringly. “This is now, and I know you can figure this out.”

Eyeing Harry, you hesitate a moment before nodding.

Five minutes later and the solution comes to you.

“I got it!” You exclaim, Harry instantly rushing towards you. “The smallest bottle,” you point at it, “will get us through the fire. Towards the stone. There’s only enough for you, that’s hardly one swallow.”

“Which one will get you back though the purple fire?”

You point at the bottle.

“Drink that,” Harry nods at you, continuing before you can argue. “Find Ron and Hermione, help them get Dumbledore. I’ll be able to hold off Snape, but I’m not match for him.”

“But... Harry,” you whisper, frowning up at him. “What if... he’s...?”

“I was lucky once before.”

And then your body moves on it’s own, surged with fear and terror for him, stepping forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Almost immediately, you recoil. cheeks burning and a quick glance at Harry and his cheeks are just as red.

There’s a pause, the both of you not sure what to do, before Harry is mumbling; “you go first,” he coughs gently. “Make sure you get through. You’re positive you have the riddle right?”

Swallowing thickly, you nod; “yes.”

“Okay, go.”

And you drink the bottle, wincing at the burning feeling that floods down the back of your throat. “It’s not poison,” you mumble, “just... cold.”

Harry nods. “Okay, go, before it wears off.”

You eye him one last time, carefully. “Be safe.”

“You too.”

-

Turning from the twins with a bright smile, you fall silent, as does the rest of grand hall at the sound of glass dinking. All eyes fall to the head table, where you notice Dumbledore standing up.

“Another year gone,” he starts, “and now, as I understand it, the house cup needs awarding.”

Eyeing Harry, Ron and Hermione, you frown.

“And as I understand it,” Dumbledore continues, “the points stand thus; in fourth place, Gryffindor with two-hundred-and-sixty-two points.” An echo of claps surround you, but your face falls with disappointment. Nothing like your house cup coming in last your first year, and undoubtedly because of you and your friends...

You don’t think your father would be so proud of that.

“Third place, Hufflepuff with three-hundred-and-fifty-two points,” raising your hands, you clap. “In second place... Ravenclaw with four-hundred-and-twenty-six points. And in first place,” letting out a sigh, you frown as you wait the inevitable. “...with four-hundred-and-seventy-two points, Slytherin house.”

Letting your head fall into your hand, you make careful watch not to look at the Slytherin table as they burst out in excitement, claps and cheering.

“Yes, yes, well done, Slytherin. Well done.” Dumbledore acknowledges. “However,” and at this, you pause, brows furrowing. “Recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last-minute points to award.”

Turning to Ron, you both share a look of hope and curiosity.

“To Miss Hermione Granger, for the cool use of intellect...while others were in grave peril...fifty points.” Smiling brightly, you turn to Hermione, bringing her in for a quick hug as her cheeks warm faintly, smiling widely herself.

“That’s amazing,” you whisper, nodding at her warmly.

“Second, to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best-played game of chess...that Hogwarts has seen these many years, fifty points.”

Eyes twinkling, you clap for Ron, as he turns to look at the three of you in astonishment.

“And third, to Miss Y/N Tonks,” and you pause at the sound of your name, wide-eyes turning to Dumbledore as he smiles gently at you. “For her will of strength and cunning loyalty to her friends, fifty points.” Blushing faintly, your eyes lower as cheering erupts around you once more, this time for you. The twins reach across to excitedly shake you, while the rest cheer for you.

And along the way, your gaze meets Harry’s and he’s smiling brightly at you.

“And,” Dumbledore starts, “to Mr. Harry Potter...for pure nerve and outstanding courage...I award Gryffindor house sixty points.”

“Amazing job, Harry,” you call to him brightly, clapping for him..

“We’re tied with Slytherin,” Hermione reminds, leaning forward to eye the three of you excitedly.

“And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies...but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award ten points...to Neville Longbottom.”

At that, the entire Gryffindor table erupts into loud cheering, all for Neville who stares back in astonishment.

“Assuming that my calculations are correct...I believe that a change of decoration is in order.” He claps once, and you look up with a bright smile as the green Slytherin banners from above turn red for Gryffindor. “Gryffindor wins the house cup.”

Standing up, you share bright, excited smiles with the rest of your fellow Gryffindor’s, following suit as you all throw your hats up into the air.

-

“You’ll make sure to write to me, won’t you?”

“Yes, of course, ‘Mione.” You smile brightly, nodding at her. “I won’t forget.”

“Okay,” she smiles, all bright-eyed and excited. “See you next year?”

“See you next year.”

You share one final goodbye, hugging her tightly before she’s turning, heading off to where her parents await -- looking both confused and still amazed by everything around them. You watch with a laugh, before turning in search of Andromeda and Ted. Along the way, you find Ron and his family, sending the boy a wave to which he easily reciprocates.

This of course catches the attention of the twins, and with goofy grins they wave at you too, causing you to laugh.

And then, you catch sight of Ted and Andromeda, and you move to rush off towards them, before you notice Harry. He’s with his uncle and aunt, and remembering the distasteful stories he’d told you about them, you make the quick decision to bound over to him.

“Harry!”

He turns at the sound of your voice, blinking at the sight of you before sending a nervous look back at his uncle.

Coming to a stop before him, slightly breathless, you smile. “I just wanted to say goodbye,” you whisper gently, stepping towards him. “And I’ll make sure to write you over the summer as well.”

“Really?” And his eyes light up with excitement at that, “I’d like that.”

“Okay,” you nod, stomach fluttering. “Have a good summer.”

“You too,” Harry nods, waving at you as you step back, turning towards Andromeda and Ted.

Reaching them, you grin brightly up at them. 

Ted grins at you; “take it you had a first good year?”

“It was...” And as you move to finish, your gaze falls behind you, on Harry. “Wonderful.”

-

Part 7?

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[warriorlid14]

For the fic summary ask game, when you have time - Ron/Neville, "everybody wants to pass as cats" (song reference is Mr Jones and Me, the previous line is "we all want to be lions," and every song which makes any mention of a lion of any kind needs go be referenced in an hp fic title)

Oh man, that quotes gives me “I am going to pretend to be strong” and “I am definitely Okay, Just Fine” vibes, SO: set after the war, Ron and Hermione have decided they’re better off as friends

Two months after the Battle of Hogwarts, Ron  shows up at Neville’s door. He’s sheepish, and a bit ashamed that he hasn’t sent him an owl to see how he’s doing. Or Luna or Dean or Seamus. Hermione has, and he’s told her to say hi on his behalf, and he’s seen them in the dozens of funerals or ministry events but he never really talked to them, instead exchanging “this sucks” glances. So he feels a little bad. But he’s also pants at herbology and needs a favor.

“George needs this ingredient for a few of his products. It’s the toxins of the leaf, see? But neither of us knows how to grow it or gather it without bollixing it up. Fred was better at herbology.” He’s mastered the skill of saying his brother’s name now without a flicker of pain on his face. “So I was thinking. Maybe you could teach me?”

Neville agrees, of course, and informs him that it’ll take three weeks, and that he can just get him the ingredient himself if he wants. Ron shakes his head, and says that he wants to learn, so Neville tells him he’ll have to come every other day because this particular plant is high-maintenance.

The first couple of times Ron comes over are a little awkward. They don’t talk much. Nobody has been doing much besides dealing with the aftermath of this war, and it sucks and it’s depressing and so they don’t talk. Until the third time he comes over and Neville is carrying around this bucket of muck to throw out. But then he trips and pours it all over Ron. And Neville is red in the face and apologizing profusely. And in that minute he reminds Ron so much of his awkward, clumsy, but sweet friend. And Neville is still beet-red and it’s crazy to think that this is the same kid who slayed Voldemort’s last horcrux right in front of him. And it’s not that funny. But Neville’s face is, and Ron’s sure his face is too, and suddenly he’s laughing, uncontrollably so, and then Neville is laughing, too. They must look ridiculous, laughing so loud and for so long and covered in mud and leaves, and it’s really not that funny. But this might be the most he’s laughed since the funerals, and the Battle, and Harry’s resurrection, and Fred’s death, and Malfoy Manor, and that fucking locket. And that’s such a depressing thought that he laughs even harder.

And just like that, the tension breaks. There is still some silence. But it’s comfortable, and peaceful, and there’s something cathartic about mindlessly helping Neville pull weeds that have gathered around his garden. And sometimes they talk. Not about the war, but they don’t exactly avoid it either. They talk about friends and what they’re up to, and about old times, and about that mythology book that Luna won’t stop talking about and about that series that Hermione is watching with her parents as a bonding exercise. And Ron finds that when he makes a joke, he actually means it around Neville and isn’t just forcing one out. It’s surprisingly easy to talk to Neville the way it isn’t anymore around Harry and Hermione and especially his family. At least he doesn’t have to force a conversation around Neville. And it’s horrible to think about, and he hates that it’s true. But when Neville brings out a small vial of the toxin he extracted three weeks later, Ron feels something in his stomach churn.

So this is it, then. It’s a bit ridiculous, how attached he’s become to their herbology lessons over such a short time. But the thing is, he can breathe here. He can just be. And it’s ridiculous because he’s fine. He’s fine. It’s Harry who literally died and Hermione who was tortured and Fred who was killed and his parents who lost a son and George who lost a twin. And it’s selfish, so horribly selfish of him to enjoy being away from them like he has. To be laughing and joking around with his friend like everyone’s life hadn’t been ruined. But he doesn’t have to worry about Neville blowing up on him and he doesn’t have to force him to eat or force himself to smile or make a joke when all he wants to do is scream in order to make Neville feel better.

He’s a shit friend and son and brother, he knows. 

So he mutters a thank you and grabs the vial, and he’s about to say his goodbyes, when Neville says, “I’ve been wanting to try some muggle gardening for a while. Do you want to help?”

And there’s something about the way Neville smiles at him, all bright eyes and dimples that makes Ron’s heart skip a beat. He smiles back and says, “Sure.”

And so for the next three weeks, Ron stops by during his lunch break to help. And damn, if it isn’t almost therapeutic. The whole heart-skipping-a-beat thing happens twice more, but Ron Doesn’t Think About It. Nor does he think about how stops himself from smiling like an idiot whenever Neville laughs at his jokes. Nor about how he almost dropped the shovel he was holding when Neville grabbed his arm once. 

One day, Ron makes a very-offhand and totally not a big deal comment about this muggle restaurant Hermione was talking about and how they have specials every Thursday and how maybe they should go check it in a couple of days. And Ron doesn’t understand why his heart almost wants to jump out of his chest or why he’s terrified that Neville will say no. It’s just a friendly lunch. 

Right.

But then Neville says, in a hesitant voice. “Actually, I was going to tell you... On Thursday we’re starting to fix up the east wing of school, so I’ll probably be staying longer because we need to assess the damage. I was going to ask, if maybe you wanted to...” His voice trails off and Ron’s mouth suddenly feels dry.

“I can help.” But his voice sounds strange to his own ears, and his heart is beating wildly in his chest, and not in the good way he had started to associate with Neville.

Neville looks startled at this, and says, “I was going to say that maybe we skip Thursday and you can continue helping me on Friday.”

“Why? You don’t think I’ll be useful? I can help.” He didn’t know why he was still talking or why he sounded so defensive, and he absolutely shut down the part of his mind that wanted to agree with Neville.

“That’s not what I meant. Ron, you don’t have to-”

“I’ll be there.”

And that was that. The rest of the day and the next were awkward, but on Thursday, Ron took the day off from WWW and apparated to Hogsmede in the morning. Neville looked surprised to see him, and Ron was annoyed because he was fine. Just Fine. He could handle being at Hogwarts again like everyone else rebuilding it. Nevermind that none of the Weasleys had stepped foot in the castle since the battle.

And he was fine. Within the first few hours. But then he and Neville and two hufflepuffs turned on a corner and Ron stopped breathing. All he could see was a fallen wall and his brother on the floor. And he could hear Percy wailing and the battle still raging. And he heard someone calling his name, but he wasn’t breathing. And he smelled the stench of blood and his was breathing in dirt and debris again and Fred’s eyes were open, but he wasn’t seeing and he never would again and-

He felt himself being pulled from the arm and dragged away, but he kept his eyes trained on the floor and fought desperately to stop the tears from coming.

When he finally looks up, he sees he’s in an old classroom and Neville has a concerned look on his face. He still hasn’t let go of his arm, and Ron is glad for this.

“That’s where Fred died.” There’s no emotion in his voice, and Neville gives him a sad smile.

Then he sits right next to him, so close that their arms are brushing, takes his hand, and says, “Stop me if you want to talk.” Then he launches off into a story about the time he fell into a river when he was six, and then about the time he saw a unicorn when he was eight, and about all the times he and Luna would stay up after hours on Hogwarts grounds and talk about the different shapes they saw in the starry sky.

Ron let his head fall on Neville’s shoulder, closed his eyes, and let the tears fall freely down his face. He wasn’t listening to his words, but his voice was comforting, and he let it and the hand holding his tightly anchor him to the present.

Eventually, Neville stopped talking, and they sat there in silence. Ron didn’t know how much time passed before he lifted his head and said, “I’m okay now. I’m okay.”

Neville smiled that same sad smile and said, “I know. But you don’t have to be all the time, you know that?”

Ron nodded, and smiled back. 

“So... do you want to talk about it?”

“Not now, but... Another day.” And Ron was surprised that he actually meant it. Neville squeezed his hand in return.

A few days before Neville went back to Hogwarts and Ron started auror training, they went to that restaurant. Not as a date. But when Ron leaned in to kiss the side of his mouth where there was a bit of chocolate on the corner, he couldn’t stop smiling when Neville kissed him back.

...

Was that supposed to be a summary?? OOPS. I had to cut it short because I have to run. 

[edream93]

I’m Hooked On All These Feelings (Harry of Auradon AU) Part 12-End

Hey everyone! This is the final chapter! Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has read and supported this story. 

Anyway, this is also posted on on AO3 or FF.net. Here’s the link for Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4, Part 5,  Part 6 ,  Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 , Part 10 , and Part 11 of the story.

Maleficent’s head crashed against the floor, the vibrations nearly knocking most people off their feet. A final exhale was released before both head and body turned into dust before completely disappearing. 

Jay cautiously got up from holding Mal, slowly stepping back as if dealing with a wild animal.

Uma moved silently towards Mal, sword down but cautious. Her face was expressionless as she watched Mal’s body shake with sobs. Uma’s entire body sang with energy so intense she clutched tightly to the hilt of her sword. 

Her legs itched, feeling too dry, too restricted. She wanted nothing more than to follow the call of the sea and test her new limits. To see how long she could swim and be one with the waves and tides before she ever felt tired. She wanted to sail the seas. She wanted to see the shores of Neverland that Harry always spoke about with such delight and wonder. (She wanted to watch that look of wonder unfold across his face again and again and again. To soak it in. To kiss it like the sun and sea kiss at the horizon…) 

But not now. 

The fight wasn’t over. Not yet.

There was one last dragon to slay.

Mal’s sobs suddenly stopped as she turned to Uma. Green eyes flashed haphazardly. “You did this,” she said so quietly Uma almost didn’t hear her. Getting shakily up to her feet, Mal’s face twisted with raw anger. “YOU. DID. THIS!” Mal howled, body shaking, blurring around the edges, a hazy smoke that Uma eyed wearily. As if a line holding her up had snapped, Mal bent over, the weight of her despair pulling her down. “FIX IT!” she ordered at the ground. 

“No,” Uma firmly stated with the power of thunder in her voice and steel in her stance. 

Mal gasped.

“Please Uma. Fix it!” Mal fell to her knees, hands raised and outstretched to Uma as if she was her only salvation. Her green eyes were soft and filled with something that Uma would never be able to be forgiving enough to call love. “Uma. Please. You can do it. I know you can. You can- you were-just, please!”

Uma’s face was a complete expressionless mask. Rage boiled beneath her skin. Had Mal ever listened to her pleas? Had she listened? Had she? HAD SHE?

 She took a step forward, bending forward to whisper into Mal’s ear, warm breath caressing her ear in a mocking twisted imitation of a lover’s murmur. “Rotten roots make rotten apples,” she said before pulling away, a not at all small part of herself relishing the way that Mal’s face crumbled at those words.

Mal glared up at her. “So what are you going to do? Slay me too?” she nodded towards the sword in Uma’s grip. 

Uma’s grip on the hilt of her sword tightened. It would be so easy to do that, wouldn’t it? But then...she would be no better than the villains that she had grown up around...or the heroes that had left them on the Isle in the first place.  

“No,” Uma shook her head. “You aren’t worth my time,” she said sheathing her sword dismissively.

Mal’s expression cracked. She looked more creature than human, snarled mouth and fae like features sharpened and inhuman. Claw like hands reached out to wrap around Uma’s neck and wring out every last breath...

...and then Mal collapsed against the floor with a thud and a loud snore.  

“Wow. Mother was right. Apples do make sleeping potions more potent,” Evie hummed conversationally as she looked at a small spray bottle before tucking it into the pocket of her dress. “Maybe taking a little nap will put her in a better mood.”

Uma hummed distractedly, looking down at her lifelong tormentor. She had never seen Mal’s face so relaxed and peaceful before. She knew that she should be figuring out a more long term solution for Mal but as she felt someone turn her around and lift her up into the air, Uma found it difficult to allow Mal to get in the way of her happiness any more.

“Uma,” Harry purred against her stomach as she dropped her sword, her hands finding perch on his shoulders. “Uma,” he murmured again, placing her feet back on the ground, their foreheads pressed together. “Uma.”

“Harry,” Uma found herself smiling, releasing a breath she had been holding now that she was able to touch him again. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, her cheeks warm. He looked at her like she was his world, a feeling that made Uma feel both powerful and terrified. 

For Harry, he never knew until that moment that his name could be said with so much fondness. Her hand instantly began running through his wet hair, his knees nearly buckling, praise falling from his lips like the most delicate pearls. He leaned forward and tucked his face into her deck, breathing deeply and pressing a lingering kiss on her neck before pulling back, pressing his forehead against her again.  

The necklace around his neck hummed in tandem with the one tucked underneath her collar, wrapping them in magic that made his blood sing, too much magical energy rushing through him with no release. But each run of Uma’s fingers through his hair seemed to siphon off all of the excess energy he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in for days until this moment. A delicate and delicious balance of pain and pleasure. 

“Sorry,” the sea witch murmured, bumping gently her nose against his before taking one of his hands into hers.

Sorry for running.

Sorry for being afraid of whatever was growing between them.

Sorry for doing anything that put space between them.

“Oh! An apology! I see those Remedial Goodness classes are working out,” Harry softly teased, wrapping his other arm around her waist, pushing her further against him, teal and red colliding. He pressed his lips against hers to drink in the soft gasp that escaped hers like it was the only thing that could sustain him...Like she was the only one that could sustain him.

“Maybe you should get a room.”

Harry blinked, dazed, then pouted as Uma pushed him away with a laugh. He glared at Ben who only grinned smugly back.

“You know, your majesty,” Harry pointed his finger at the now king, his other hand already reaching out to pull Uma back against his side. “You are a terrible wingman.”  

Uma rolled her eyes at Harry, slapping his hand away before turning her attention to Ben instead. 

“I’m not going to apologize for what I did,” she stated as the coronation goers including Adam, Belle, Fairy Godmother, Audrey, and a now awake and ashamed look Jane began to enter back in. “For breaking Gil out of jail or stealing from the museum.” She picked up the sword from where it fell on the ground, feeling the heavy but grounding weight of the sword. “Or even for killing Maleficent,” she looked down at Mal’s unconscious form still on the ground. “It had to be done.”

Fairy Godmother gasped taking in the Sword and Shield of the Three Good Fairies that Uma and Gil were holding, respectively. “Unfortunately Uma, all actions must have their consequences!” she tutted. “Uma, you are guilty for obviously breaking out Gil and you both are guilty of stealing from the Auradon History Museum!The rules are there for a reason! To keep order. Punishment for such deplorable actions must be given!”

“Are you going to punish Uma by making her fall off a roof to her death?” Gil asked worriedly, stepping protectively next to Uma. “That’s what King Beast did to my dad.”

Adam and Belle both paled at the memory.

“Or maybe pushing people off cliff edges is your more your style, Fairy Godmother” Evie asked with an innocent pout, eyes sharp and calculating as she stood behind Uma. 

Fairy Godmother look offended. “W-why I’d never-”

“Maybe they’ll make you go insane before locking you up,” Carlos interrupted, easily dodging out of Fairy Godmother’s reach as she tried to grab back her wand from him. He moved next to Evie, behind and slightly to the side of Uma, handing her the wand. 

Everyone in the room seemed to tense as Uma fluidly took the wand, handing Harry the sword. 

“Or maybe,” Jay said stepping up to Uma, his eyes never leaving her guarded brown ones. “They’ll turn you into a slave and keep you in a prison so small and restricting you’ll beg for death as long as that means you’d be free.”

Unspoken words went between Jay and Uma for several seconds before Uma nodded, and Jay slid easily right behind Uma, between Carlos and Evie. 

Uma gazed at the wand, running a long line down it with a finger, a thoughtful expression on her face. She turned her gaze towards Fairy Godmother, watching smugly as the woman paled in fear. 

It would be so easy to lean into it. To make them all fear her name. 

She glanced over at Mal’s unconscious body, hand gripping the wand even more tightly, before looking back up.

“You know, a lot of people on the Isle would literally kill to get their hands on this thing,” she said with an almost absentminded tone that was betrayed by the way she flicked the wand experimentally, dangerous gold and teal sparks flying from its end. Everyone except Harry, Ben, and the rest of the Isle kids took a fearful step back. “It would be so easy to just...” shrug, “...tear the barrier down. Free all the kids who never got a chance to choose for themselves whether they would be heroes or villains. I’m sure all our parents would be so thrilled for a reunion with all of you,” she smiled at Ben’s parents and the headmistress. 

“And with Maleficent gone and Mal temporarily out of the picture, I wouldn’t be surprised if it became a power struggle between the baddest of the bads that led to your pretty little kingdoms falling. One. After. The. Other,” she punctuated with flicks of her wrists that shot out spells as easy as breathing. 

Waves of magic that smelled like sea salt flowed throughout the room, righting knocked over furniture and erasing scorched marks. Thick iron handcuffs appeared around Mal’s wrist which wouldn’t kill the half fae but would definitely leave an irritating rash against her skin. 

“So cool,” Gil whispered in awe as she also made their clothes dry and clean. And just to see the look on the woman’s face, Uma changed Fairy Godmother’s gown into a patch worked Isle version of her signature cape. 

The sea witch smirked, crossing her arms over her chest at the indignant squawk the woman gave. “I mean, it’s like you said, Fairy Godmother: Punishment for such deplorable actions must be given. And I think allowing innocent children to grow up and starve on an Isle full of thieves, killers, rapists, and swindlers deserves punishment too, don’t you?”

Fairy Godmother, grew pale, eyes growing dangerously wide as the wand was lazily pointed towards her. Before she could mess with anyone else, Ben stepped in front of her, hand outstretched to her with that gentle patient smile of his, all kingly justice and naivety wrapped up in sincere blue and gold wrappings.

Uma sighed as she felt Harry tense next to her but didn’t hold a grudge against him. Ben with his kindness and loyalty and good faith in others had gotten under her skin. 

“Help me then,” he said simply to her before looking at the other Isle kids around her. “All of you. Be the solution. Uma, you told me once about how cruel the Isle can be. So help me get kids like you, kids whose backs have been pushed against the wall and are just trying to survive the only way they know how, here where they can be safe.”

“And what makes you think helping you appeals to me at all?” Uma questioned.

Ben smiled, as if she had asked something obvious. 

“Because,” he looked towards Harry.  “Even though he’s basically committing treason right now, I still trust Harry and his decisions with my life. Because even before you took down an actual dragon, you cared. I could see it and I think I can guess that the only reason you let yourself be the subject of the love spell on me was because it was better than it being Mal. And because when I look at you and Harry,” his voice filled with warmth and genuineness, “it just fits. Does that make sense?” 

Uma snorted, shaking her head though a small smile broke through. The hand not holding the wand reached out without looking and easily slipping into Harry’s, giving it a tight squeeze. 

“It’s starting to.”

Harry grinned, raising their entwined hands up to his lips to kiss her knuckles. Uma glanced at him, seeing all the tension release from his shoulders and ignoring the way her heart lurched as if it wanted to punch right through her chest to be closer to him. She looked to her other side at Gil who was beaming brightly down at her and for once in her life Uma felt without fear. Her body felt light and filled with warmth that she had never really experienced before. 

She was happy. She was free. 

Stepping forward, Uma handed Fairy Godmother her wand back. The headmistress, let a relieved smile split her face before stepping back, doing a small flick that returned her dress back to the gown she was wearing. 

Ben cleared his throat, drawing attention back to him. 

“Uma of the Isle,” Ben said with a grin. “As King, any crimes that you or the others have committed in the last week have been pardoned. Good deeds deserve to be recognized just as much as bad ones deserve to be punished,” he winked. 

Uma paused. “Are you serious?” she questioned.

Ben nodded. “Very. So it is said, so it be done.” 

“So you’re not sending us back to the Isle?” Carlos questioned.

“Nope. You’re free to stay in Auradon if you wish.”

“Oh, we wish,” Carlos said happily giving both Jay and Gil a high five while Evie squealed with genuine happiness. Harry could tell King Adam and Queen Belle seemed exchanged unsure glances with each other behind Ben but kept silent, trusting their son’s judgement.

Evie stepped forward. “Your majesty. Ben,” she smiled taking his hands. “There’s a lot of kids on the Isle who deserve a happy ending. If I’m not being too bold, I’d like to offer my help in getting more kids off the Isle and aiding in their transition here.”

Ben grinned, squeezing her hand. “I would love that Evie."

"Uh...we'd like to help too," Jay said humbly. Carlos nodded next to him. "There's a lot more kids like us who need their pain and aggression channeled through more positive influences," he said glancing at Uma with a sad smile before looking back at the king. "I know that was true for me."

"That's great! Write me a list of all of your ideas and we can-” Ben began but was cut off by a loud commotion outside.

“They’re here!” Gil perked up, looking eagerly between Uma and Harry before pushing through the confused crowd to the door. Uma and Harry grinned at each other as well, quickly following Gil. 

Ben followed them outside, unsure of what to expect with Evie, Jay, and Carlos behind him. When he got outside, the king had to do a double take at what he saw. 

A large crowd of children from toddlers to gangly teenagers wearing the distinctive patchwork clothing of the Isle stood on the steps leading up to the coronation hall. Looks of wonder, fear, and awe were all on their faces as they looked around the bright and clean views of Auradon taking it all in. One little girl with glasses and colorful streaks of hair pulled into messy ponytails at the top of her hair pulled away from the group and ran towards them straight towards Evie.

“Dizzy,” Evie exclaimed happily, pulling the younger girl into her arms in a tight hug, Dizzy speaking with rapid excitement 

“Remember what you said about pardoning us for any crimes we may have committed this week?” Carlos grinned holding up the remote that let down the Isle’s barrier.

“I wasn’t going to forget that we weren’t the only ones who needed to get off the Isle,” Uma said with a look that said she dared him to say something negative about her freeing a bunch of Isle kids.

Ben was speechless for a moment before he shook his head with a laugh. “I guess you and I have our work ahead of us,” he chuckled at Evie before turning to Uma. “Any other surprises?”

“Just one more Benny!” a familiar voice shouted above them, a large shadow falling on them all. 

The new King paled as ship covered in fairy dust floated over them, CJ wearing a very obvious Isle inspired outfit as she hung off one of the rigs, iridescent wings flashing a kaleidoscope of colors behind her. On board the deck of the ship, he could see more Isle kids yelling with excitement over the boat edges as they shouted at and pointed at the dumbstruck Auradon citizens below. 

“UMA!” they all cheered, when they saw her teal hair. Someone threw down a rope ladder that Gil already started climbing up. 

“That’s our ride,” Harry grinned. “I’m guessing we’ll have two days head start before you send Harriet after us?” 

Shaking his head, Ben patted him on the shoulder. If it lingered longer than necessarily, neither boy pointed it out. “Oh, not even being the High King of Auradon can stop Harriet from giving you anything more than an hour head start.” 

Harry ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, you’re right. But this is what I want,” he said softly, glancing over at Uma who had already said her goodbyes to Evie, Jay, and Carlos and was climbing up the rope ladder. “She’s what I want.”

Ben reached out and pulled him into another hug. “Then I’ll try to get you at least two hours headstart,” he grinned pulling away.

“Just two?”

“Well my fiance is running away with a beautiful woman so forgive me if I’m feeling a bit scorned,” Ben teased.

Harry rolled his eyes as he began to climb the rope ladder. “You’re never gonna let that go are you?” he shouted over his shoulder as the ship began to rise.

“Nope!” Ben shouted back, becoming smaller and smaller. 

Harry shook his head, a smile on his lips before climbing the rest of the way up. Uma reached out and helped to tug him over the side of the ship despite her small frame. They stumbled however, and Harry found himself bringing Uma closer to him once more to keep their balance. 

“You’re amazing,” he found himself breathing out as he looked into her brown eyes. 

“Not bad yourself, sailor,” Uma chuckled, allowing herself to enjoy being in his arms, leaning towards him, lips barely brushing against each other.

“Captain!” CJ shouted from where she now stood at the wheel. 

“Yes?” Both Harry and Uma said at the same time. Uma glared at him, a look that would have made other men tremble in their boots, but for Harry made him smile with glee, letting out a little giggle. 

CJ rolled her eyes at the two of them. “Where are we heading?”

“We’ll go where the wind takes us!” Uma grinned before looking at Harry. “Together,” she said softer so that only he could hear her. 

He grinned, a wild crazed look that buzzed in the presence of the surrounding pixie dust, threatening to overwhelm him. But Uma’s presence kept him anchored. Every touch, every smile, every little wrinkle of her nose kept him from drowning. The necklace around his neck thrummed, vibrating with unsaid but acknowledge feelings of warmth, trust, and love. Uma reached up to her necklace, the Nevershell she had given him and he knew she felt the same. 

Pivoting on his heel, Harry’s manic grin grew wider as everyone’s eyes were on them. “You heard the Captain,” he laughed. “We ride with the wind! Now get your lazy asses moving or I’ll toss you over myself,” he barked as he began to give orders to their crew, easily inspiring both fear and awe despite being Auradon born. 

“Uma,” Gil asked softly next to her as they watched Harry tease one of the crew, Jonas, about his horrible knots. “Is this what happily ever afters feel like?”

Uma shook her head. “No...this is better.”

[penniesforthestorm]

Twin Peaks Recap, Special Edition: “...Fire Walk With Me“

Greetings, friends, and welcome to a special one-off edition of my ongoing Twin Peaks recaps. This will cover the events of the 1992 film Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, in its original theatrical cut. I wrote two pages’ worth of notes for this; I’m not going to copy everything here because, even though this is largely a self-indulgent project, I do want to make it at least somewhat intelligible. For those who haven’t been following along, here’s a link to my recaps for Season 2 of the original series. I will be continuing in the same format for The Return. I’m not overly concerned with “solving” anything, necessarily, but there are certain patterns I want to follow, and one or two theories I’m developing, which should play out over the course of all of this. I’ll place a general spoiler warning here-- if you’re new to the series, I highly, highly recommend watching Seasons 1 & 2 of the show first, with Fire Walk With Me serving as a bridge between those and The Return. I think that covers it; now, to the business at hand...

Part One: “Are you talking about that little girl who got murdered?”

-The film opens with a TV set falling to the floor and breaking- this calls to mind the mysterious ‘black box’ in The Return

-Gordon Cole calls FBI Agents Chet Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Sam Stanley (Kiefer Sutherland) to Deer Meadow, Oregon, to investigate the murder of Teresa Banks, and via the coded instructions of Lil the Dancer, we learn that they won’t have much help once they get there. Unlike the relative efficiency and civic-mindedness of the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, the Deer Meadow office is under an almost impenetrable malaise- the deputy, the receptionist, & the sheriff all being in cahoots.

-Desmond & Stanley conduct Teresa’s autopsy themselves, discovering her now-missing ring and the scrap of paper under her fingernail. Off to Hap’s Diner, again, a kind of “dark mirror” to the cozy RR. In the entryway, under a flashing striplight, we can see the figures of two Woodsmen. They do get a few answers about Teresa- she had a cocaine habit, and before her death, complained of numbness in her left arm.

-Off to the Fat Trout Trailer Park, with its exasperated owner Carl Rodd (Harry Dean Stanton, my one true love). He shows them Teresa’s trailer, seeming more nervous and upset by the minute. “I’ve already gone places. I just wanna stay where I am.” Later, Desmond returns, and finds Teresa’s ring under her trailer. He reaches for it, and disappears.

Part Two: “We’re not gonna talk about Judy at all.”

-At the FBI office in Philadelphia, it’s 10:10 a.m. on February 16th, and Special Agent Dale Cooper is worried. “It’s about that dream I had,” he explains to Gordon.

-Enter Philip Jeffries (David Bowie), an agent who has been MIA for some time. He indicates Cooper- “Who do you think this is, there?” and we are taken into a vision: a room “above the store” populated by familiar figures-- old Mrs. Tremond and her grandson, the Man from Another Place, Mike, the Woodsmen, and BOB. Then, we see the red-curtained “waiting room” of the Black Lodge. Somehow, Jeffries passed through both of these places. He, too, vanishes.

-Cole sends Coop to Deer Meadow, to track down the missing Agent Desmond. Cooper has a bit of an easier time with Carl-- he knows how to appreciate a cup of “Good mornin’ America”. They find Desmond’s car, with “Let’s Rock” scrawled on the windshield. Coop is curious about a nearby empty lot-- “An old woman and her grandson,” Carl tells him. “Chalfont.” (Side note: for a while, there was a band in my hometown called The Chalfonts; I didn’t know the reference then, but I wish I had.)

-And with that, suddenly, we’re in Twin Peaks, WA, one year later, and somehow, in this part of the Pacific Northwest in the middle of February, the deciduous trees have all their leaves and the grass is green...

-Donna Heyward is played here by Moira Kelly, replacing Lara Flynn Boyle. She does a great job, and is arguably more believable as a high-school student, but I kinda miss Boyle’s icy edge. I do love the way she talks about James Hurley, wistfully saying how true his love for Laura is...

-Key moments: 1) Laura giving the diary, and trying to explain BOB, to poor Harold Smith, who isn’t equipped to handle any of this. 2) Cooper, in conversation with Albert Rosenfield, theorizing that Teresa Banks’ killer will strike again, and describing his next potential victim in ways that parallel Laura’s situation. (Albert: “You’re describing half the teenage girls in America.”) 3) Laura meeting Mrs. Tremond/Chalfont and her grandson, which leads her to the discovery that BOB is possessing her father Leland.

Part Three: “The football is empty.”

-Laura’s dream: On the table in the Red Room, she sees Teresa Banks’ jade ring. The Man from Another Place is there, and so is Agent Cooper. Coop warns her, “Don’t take the ring, Laura.” Then she finds herself back in her own bed, with Annie Blackburn laying next to her, covered in blood but alive. Annie explains that “the good Dale” is trapped in the Lodge, telling Laura to write it in her diary. Just before Laura wakes up, she sees herself in the doorway of the room “above the store”, shown in the photograph Mrs. Tremond gave her.

-Bobby Briggs sets up his next score, calling Leo Johnson and Jacques Renault.

-Laura is off to drown her sorrows at the Roadhouse/Bang Bang Bar, where she meets the Log Lady. (I love that Margaret is apparently a regular at the Roadhouse.) Log Lady places her hand on Laura’s forehead, and tells her: “When this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out. The tender boughs of innocence burn first, and the wind rises, and then all goodness is in jeopardy.” Inside, Laura weeps as Julee Cruise sings.

-Donna, angry at being shut out, has followed her here. I noticed, standing next to her at the bar, James Hurley’s biker friend Joey Paulsen, who makes a few appearances in the series.

-Jacques Renault sends two punters to Laura’s table, and Donna follows. Laura tries to get rid of her, but then lets her join in. All four, plus Jacques, leave the Roadhouse for a place across the Canadian border. Ronette Pulaski is here, and the link is established between Laura, Ronette, and Teresa Banks. Ronette laughingly points out poor Donna, who has picked up Laura’s jacket, laying over a table as one of Laura’s “customers” has his way with her. Laura immediately rushes to her rescue, screaming, “Don’t ever wear my stuff!” (If only Donna had stayed with the nice biker boy...) As they leave, there is a shot of cigarette butts and empty bottles piled all over the floor.

Part Four: “You always hurt the ones you love.”

-Leland picks Laura up from Donna’s house, and Mike the One-Armed Man nearly crashes into their car on the highway, shouting at Laura. On his hand is the jade ring. Leland flashes back to his meetings with Teresa Banks, his discovery that Laura and Ronette were her ‘friends’, and his subsequent slaying of Teresa.

-Bobby and Laura, drunk and high in the woods, are met by none other than the deputy from Deer Meadow. He reaches into his jacket and Bobby panics and shoots him. Laura, completely out of it, keeps repeating, “You killed Mike!”

-That night, Sarah Palmer has a vision of a white horse. She knows something is wrong, but she has been powerless to stop it.

-At school, Laura is utterly miserable; by the end of the afternoon, she is sobbing quietly at her desk. When she gets up to leave, the camera lingers on the empty seat.

-That night, James takes Laura into the woods. She tries to push him away, to break everything off, but he keeps coming back. This is the heart of it: Laura believes that she is evil, that she is unworthy of love, but James, solid-gold sweet James, loves her anyway, even as he watches her run away into the trees.

-A few notable things about the final sequence: Leo refusing to untie either girl as he leaves; the One-Armed Man prowling around the train car; and Ronette Pulaski seeing the vision of the angel from the painting in Laura’s room. Also interesting in that it’s much more “abstract” than, for example, Maddy Ferguson’s murder in S2:E8. I’m not sure which is worse.

-And we end with Laura in the Lodge, in her beautiful black gown, with Agent Dale Cooper comforting her as the angel hovers above. Sheryl Lee’s face is absolutely heartbreaking--’ecstasy’ not in the popular sense of ‘extreme happiness’, but actual catharsis, as she passes from one world to the next.

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Ten CCs of Sass || Ricky and Kaden

TIMING: A few days after Ricky took on an asanbosam and after Kaden’s mime stabbing PARTIES: @ricky-corderbro and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY:  Best roommates ever.

Kaden was starting to lose track of time in this stupid place. It was hard to know when was what when there were no windows in the room and time seemed to move at a snail’s pace. But he was pretty sure he remembered the layout of the room. And this was not it. Everything was similar but slightly off somehow. “Regan?” he asked, knowing full well he didn’t see her or Blanche or anyone else babysitting him at the moment. Maybe he hoped they would pop up around a corner or something. Still, no answer. But there was a fucking curtain halfway open and another patient on the other side. Putain de merde, just when he thought this fucking hell pit couldn’t get any worse. They must have moved his fucking bed in the night and now he had a goddamn roommate. And better yet, his IVs were taped down so thoroughly to his arm, he was pretty sure getting them off was going to take a solid ten minutes and take off hair and maybe even a little skin. He was thoroughly stuck. Fuck.

All in all it had not been Ricky’s favorite week. While thankfully they’d put him under for the harrowing process of putting his ribs back together and removing a portion of one of them from his lung, the pain afterwards had been almost enough to make him wish the asanbosam had finished him off. Sleep had been an elusive target, and it was only after a nurse had come in and given him something to knock him out that he’d managed a couple of hours. Waking up though, had brought a resurgence of pain everytime his heart beat and he took a breath, and it wasn’t until he heard a voice asking for someone named Regan that he realized how fucked his day was truly about to get. He recognized that voice, even if the last time he’d heard it they’d been on a rickety boat arguing about saving lives. He also knew that that voice was attached to someone he’d promised to try to kill, even if he was in no position to actually take action on the threat, “Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me.” he rasped out, voice still not up to par, “Did I actually die? I must have. This has to be fucking hell if I’m stuck here with you”

Kaden’s brows knit together. Something about that voice sounded vaguely familiar. He turned to get a better look at his new roommate. “Putain.” He groaned. It was the fucking do gooder lifegarud boy who was probably some kind of monster. Or knew a few. Of fucking course they ended up in the same room at the same time. What a cherry on top of being stabbed by a mime a few times the other day. “You’re right about one thing, this is fucking hell.” Kaden wanted to throw something but there was nothing but the pillow in reach to toss and, uh, he didn’t want to have to call a nurse to come pick it up off the floor. “The hell happened to you, anyway? Have a run in with a perfectly innocent supernatural monster? Or did your dudley do-right routine finally screw you over?”

Through the haze of pain and pain meds Ricky could feel Kaden’s voice grating on his every nerve, “Jesus fucking christ. Of course it’s fucking you” He attempted to push himself slightly more upright and was rewarding with a white hot pain shooting through his chest, “God. Do you ever tire of the sound of your own fucking voice? I will reach into my chest, pull out one of the many fragments of ribs floating around in there, and stab you in the fucking eye with it if it’s going to net me a reprieve from your sanctimonious bullshit.” He resigned himself to staying laying down and sighed, “You know, fuckhead mcfuckstick, there are those of us capable of distinguishing between an animalistic monster that lacks sentience, and a perfectly harmless member of the supernatural community. I’m sorry you somehow failed Humanity 101”

This little shit really thought he talked too much? Kaden scoffed. “You should ask yourself that. I’m not the one ranting over there.” He started picking at the tape on his arm as the kid ranted the same bullshit grumbling he’d heard a million times before. More colorful than most, he’d give him that, but more of the same. “Fuckhead mcfuckstick, that’s a new one.” He shrugged and continued to try and peel the tape away so he could try and leave before things got any worse. “So how’d that distinguishing go for you? Broken ribs, you said? Sounds like you had a really wonderful encounter.”

“It seemed fitting, given that you are both a fuckhead, and a fuckstick, and I’m Irish so we add Mc to everything.” Ricky rolled his eyes and managed to find the controller for his bed, raising himself so he was sitting upright, “Well it went great. Since I very clearly distinguished that an asanbosam is not a contributing member of society and is instead an animalistic hunter. But these were things I knew before. But you know something about being an animalistic hunter don’t you?” His breath came short for a few moments and he stopped talking, breathing as deeply as he could and balling his fists to try to work through the pain, “We were ambushed. Broken ribs, punctured lung. But I lived so, that’s something. They’re not great ones to run into.”

Irish. Noted. Kaden was sure he’d have plenty of time to figure out what kind of monster he was sharing a room with. Unfortunately. “Asanbosam? Too bad no one was around to stake it. If only there had been an animalistic hunter nearby. Guess they were all at home.” Or stuck in a fucking hospital. “That or no one thought you were particularly worth saving. Shame, you clearly handled it so well on your own.” Still, sounded like the kid had it worse over there than he did. “You got lucky. Even with all that.” Not that he was glad he was okay. That wasn’t his concern at all. “Ran into one of those the other week, seem to be out in force with all the eternal darkness shit going on. Almost stole someone up into the trees.”

“I managed just fine. No deaths, so, that’s a win. It’s currently somewhere in the forest trying desperately to get the rosary I knotted around it’s ankle free. They’re particularly averse to religious iconography.” While most children had a childhood full of nursery rhymes, a solid portion of Ricky’s home education had been the various varieties of vampire that would inevitably try to attack him; he knew a fair few of them by heart. “Ah yes, there’s that good old Hunter “judge, jury, and executioner” mentality that we all know and love so much. Good to know whatever didn’t do a good enough job of killing you left you up on your high horse.” Ricky reached for his phone on the bedside table, scrolling through several texts in all capital letters before deciding that was a problem for later in the afternoon, “I always hated the idea of those fuckers.” He muttered, trying to find a more comfortable position that didn’t put pressure on, well, anything. “Iron teeth. Prehensile tail. They’re straight out of some dnd dungeon master’s nightmare. What the hell is a west African vampire doing in Maine, though?”

“Oh are they? Wow, gee, I never fucking knew that. Slayed my first vampire at age ten but wow, thanks for that riveting new information. Where would I be without you?” Kaden rolled his eyes. He just told the guy he’d encountered an asanbosam the other week, so he would’ve thought he wouldn’t go and explain the obvious to him but guess he was wrong. “Yeah well, sorry to disappoint you by my survival. But if you tell me where that fucking thing was I can probalby deal with once I’m out of here. Or get someone else to. You know, if you can lower yourself off that pedastool to cooperate with an animalistic hunter for two fucking minutes.” This was going to be a long goddamn day. God help him if was two. He wasn’t sure he could survive that. The tape on his arm must have been something akin to duct tape because it wasn’t budging. At this point he wasn’t sure he cared if Regan insisted he stayed the full two plus days. No way would he last that long. “They’re a pain in the ass. Species origin doesn’t really seem to be a barrier to entry in White Crest. I mean, for fuck sakes, the sky’s been dark for a few solid weeks now and you’re questioning how an African vampire got here? This place is fucking weird.”

Kaden’s abrasive voice was honestly on par with the subtle grinding and shifting of his ribs that he could still feel every time he breathed, “God. It just so fucking shocking to me that you’re top of seemingly everybody’s ‘kill him becore he kills us’ list. People skills like yours you should be in public relations. As to the where would you be? Fish food. We’ve gone over this. You’d be fish food.” Ricky let talk of killing a roommate fall silent as a nurse came in to administer meds and bring up his breakfast tray… which was seemingly full of things he didn’t want or couldn’t really eat. One insipid slice of ham seemed to be about the only thing he trusted, and he quickly ate it, keeping his face turned away from Kaden so there were no erstwhile glimpses of fangs, before pushing the tray and the rolling table away, “I don’t want the rest of that, if you’re feeling extra peckish.” He could feel the gentle wave of pain meds crashing on the beach of his mind and pulled his phone towards him, tapping out replies to texts as he listened to Kaden prattle on in the singularly sanctimonious way that he seemed to have cornered the fucking market on, “Yeah as long as there’s a fucking tree vamp wandering the forests near my home attacking members of my community I’m going to fucking question it. But in answer to the question that was sandwiched between the insults… it was the forests to the north of the Docks, bout half a mile before the bridge to Harris Island. It felled a tree right in front of my truck, blocked the road.”

“Yeah, yeah. And I thanked you already, alright.” Kaden bristled at the reminder that he was somewhat in debt to the other man for saving his life. Fucking hated that. Normally he made it easy enough for him to push that aside but then it would rear its ugly head. Still, he noted where that vampire was last seen; he’d be sure to kill it once he was out of there. Not long after, a second nurse came in to give Kaden his tray full of what he assumed was awful lumps of sadness pretending to be food. He wasn’t wrong. The food looked awful, alright, but that wasn’t what his eyes were focused on. No, his eyes went straight to the black and white striped shirt folded neatly with a beret on top and the red blood stains seeped into it. His eyes grew wide with confusion and his pulse picked up as he looked at the nurse. She gave absolutely no indication that anything was out of the ordinary and simply smiled and asked if there was anything else he needed. Kaden was stunned for a moment but it didn’t take long for him to flip the try, tossing it away from him the way someone might flick away a bug that had crawled onto them. He tried to quell the panic that was rising up in him. The nurse just looked confused, not like she was going to kill him on the spot. Which was good, but honestly he still wished he had a weapon in hand. Then she shook her head and looked around like she was unsure of what room she was in or what hat just happened. “Did I do that?” she asked, looking at the try and bending down to pick it up. “I’m sorry, I’ll bring you another tray. Is that your shirt?” Kaden shook his head. “Uh, no. Not-- No, that’s not my shirt. And you didn’t-- Sorry, I lost control of the…” He wanted to run more than ever, his hand reaching for the metal stand where the bags of fluids were hanging. It’d be a decent blunt weapon in a pinch. “Oh, that’s alright. I’ll be right back,” the nurse said, all the fallen food and tray in hand and left with a smile, like nothing ever happened. “Putain de merde, what the actual fuck?”

“It’s really hard to take the thanks seriously when it’s always tied to some sort of insane purge-and-purify human-centric rhetoric. Really sort of dulls the shine on that particular compliment.” He’d been focused on his phone and not on the speciesist fuck in the bed next to him when there was suddenly a ruckus that made him snap his head over to look at that side of the room. “What the absolute fuck you lunatic?” Ricky was so taken aback by the scene that he attempted to push himself out of bed to help clean it up, before bolts of white hot pain reminded him why he didn’t do that, “oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck oh fuck.” The nurse’s response to the whole ordeal was what really made him narrow his eyes, “What…. What the fuck is happening over there.” A tiny spot of red appeared on the bandage around his chest and started to grow fractionally, “Well that’s not good. But… that wasn’t normal. What the fuck landed you in here? I mean I had just assumed it was something along the lines of “finally got what was coming to him” but that was fucking weird.”

“Nothing, nothing, it’s--” he started. Kaden’s eyes darted back and forth between where the tray had just fallen and the door. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to slow his breath, bring his pulse back to normal. He let out a deep sigh, trying to rationalize that nothing else was coming in, no one else was there, it was probably safe. But Regan wasn’t back yet. What if something happened to her? Fuck. “Uh, shit. Don’t fucking laugh,” he told his current rommate as he rubbed his palms against the sheets, trying to dry the sweat off them. “I’m here cause I got stabbed by a fucking mime.” He thought about hitting the call button, get another nurse in here. But what if that didn’t help? What if that’s what brought another possessed person to send him more warnings and threats? Shit. He was more or less defenseless if someone came back for him. This is why he fucking hated hosptials (among all the other reasons). “So yeah, that striped shirt, it, uh-- Fuck.” He felt like such a paranoid idiot.

Ricky didn’t really think of himself as a cruel man. He tried to do right by his friends and his neighbors, be a good upstanding member of the community, and generally behave in a way that would make his mother proud of him; since she was his metric for what a good person should be. But the minute Kaden a) told him not to laugh and b) mentioned he’d gotten stabbed by a fucking mime, Ricky knew he was in a losing battle where all of his attempts to be good were going to falter in the face of a chance to ridicule his enemy. The laugh bubbled up inside of him and the piercing pain in his chest battled for dominance but he couldn’t help but throw his head back in laughter, shaking slightly in his bed, “Oh god…. Oh my fucking god…. I”m sorry I’m sorry… did you… did you… the great fucking hunter… bane of the supernatural… did you fucking get put in the hospital by a goddamn mime?!” His laugh turned into a painful cough and he bit down abruptly, a fang piercing his lip “ow fuck.” The laughter died down and he shook his head, “Ahh it feels good and at the same time fucking terrible to laugh. How… how did you manage to get stabbed by a fucking mime?! Was it even a real knife or was this just some A+ really top of the line pantomime that this fucker did?”

Well that was one way to quell the panic. Kaden could feel the anger rising up as the other man laughed. No, fucking cackled. “Shut it!” He looked down at the edge of the bed where his tray fell. Maybe there was still a shitty clementine or something he could chuck at Ricky’s fucking head. No luck. There was still a beret, though. It’d have to do. He scooped it up, scrunched it into a ball, and threw it across the room. He practically huffed as he stewed over on his bed, but a quick glance over to his roommate practically splitting his stitches and he saw it. It was subtle enough, but there was no denying those were fucking big ass fangs sticking out while he cackled. Well that answered that question he was pretty sure he already had the answer to: Monster. What kind, he’d figure out later. Couldn’t be undead if he had a heartbeat to monitor, he knew that much. And couldn’t be a wolf since he didn’t send all of Kaden’s hairs on edge. “Putain, yes it was a real fucking knife, connard! He was fucking possessed or cursed or some shit! Broke into the restaurant and just b-lined to stab me and wouldn’t fucking stop until he died.” It was goddamn karmic watching Ricky in pain over his laughter. Deserved at least that much.

“Oh no, Fuckstick McMimeChow, you have to deal with this fucking laughter because it is infinitely hilarious that a hunter got hospitalized by a motherfucking mime.” Ricky allowed the beret to hit him in the face if only because Kaden deserved at least that tiny victory, and as he held hit in his hands he took as subtle a smell of it as he could, but picked up nothing more than dollar store shampoo and dried blood, “Well… while you can make the argument that choosing ‘mime’ as your profession is in and of itself a curse… he was definitely human.” He threw the beret to the foot of Kaden’s bed, “but I’d wash your hands. There’s blood on that.” Pressing a slightly trembling hand to his chest; the pain was now greater than the mirth he’d received at Kaden’s attack, “That’s gotta be like… top three for shitty dinners. I mean I’ve had some bad fucking meals in my day and while I’ve had both a beer and a dinner roll thrown at me on separate occasions nobody’s actually stabbed me before. Did you kill this maniacal mime or did he just… I don’t know… suddenly expire after coming into contact with undiluted Blood of Douchebag.”

If Kaden had something else to throw, he would have. Instead all he could do was glower at the laughter. “Congrats, Detective pain in the ass, I figured that much out. Of course he was human. Problem was you didn’t see him. The look in his eye. It was like the lights were out but he was going through the motions anway. Really fucking determinedly, too.” At Ricky's evaluation of the beret, he looked down at his hands and decided to just wipe them off on the side of the bed again, in case there was any blood. “We barely got to wine let alone dinner. So yeah, I’d say so.” He sighed, thinking about the poor chardonnay that was the only thing that was murdered that night. What a waste. His head snapped to face his current roommate at his last comment. “Hey, I did not kill him! I mean I didn’t take it lying down, but I’m not a murderer, alright!”

“I’m really feeling like you’re not putting the same energy into this rivalry I am, Kaden. I come up with Fuckstick McMimeChow and you counter with Detective Pain in the ass? I’m a little hurt.” Ricky shot as withering a look as he could manage across the room, “Are you sure that was a curse/possession and not just… you know… people’s kneejerk reaction to being in your presence? I know I always get the urge to stab you repeatedly.” Watching Kaden wipe his hands on the bed he listened before chuffing a sigh of a laugh, “Wait wait wait… did you get stabbed by a mime on a fucking date? Jesus fucking Christ talk about just compounded shit luck. That’s just… woof. I don’t even have anything cutting or scathing for that… that’s just… that’s just rough.” Any pity he might have felt for the other man quickly evaporated however, “Oh yes. This old chestnut. I spend my life hunting things down but am somehow not a murderer. What is this… verse 78 now?”

“Sorry, what can I say. I don’t spend as much time thinking about you as you think about me.” Kaden rolled his eyes at the remark. “He came into the restaurant seemingly just to stab me. I know I’ve pisseed people off but that just doesn’t track, alright. I never saw the guy before. And yeah I was on a fucking date, alright. Shocking as it may be. Still not sure if it’s one of the worst dates I’ve been on.” He sighed at the remark. Of course, couldn’t get through one conversation without the bleeding heart bullshit. “Look you don’t have to fucking agree with me but don’t act like you don’t know where I stand. Murder is when you kill people and monsters aren’t people. Been over this.” There was a long stretch of silence and it seemed like they might be done snipping for the moment. Fine by him, but the whole place was too quiet. And he couldn’t bear to sit and watch this shitty infomercial. He waited a moment, maybe he could just sleep or something. But he wasn’t tired. “Hey, uh, I think you have the remote. Can you change the thing. The Price is Right is about to come on.”

“Jesus. And I thought my fucking love life was grim. You make me look like a fucking Casanova if that wasn’t one of your worst dates. Am I surprised? No. But still… blech. Poor woman. I’m just assuming you’re straight because I’m fervently praying you’re not gay. We don’t want you on our team. Please stay far the fuck away.” It was still a little surprising how robotic and immediate the return to the hunter party line was. There was almost a moment, for just the briefest of seconds, where Ricky had thought that they were actually on the road to… well whatever was one step above immediately homicidal. But all of that was swept away in an instant as they returned to ground zero. A zone which did not net Kaden any tv privileges. “Sorry.” He picked up the remote and plucked its batteries out, tossing the powerless shell to the other man, “Sharing is what people do.” He smiled a wide bright smile, every perfectly maintained fang shining in the horrible hospital lighting, “and I guess I just don’t qualify. Besides…. Price is Right with no Bob Barker? One of us is the monster here and it isn’t me.” This was going to be the longest hospital stay ever.

[thereadingcellar]

** spoiler alert ** My Review of The Shadow Glass To think that this fantastic story landed in my lap because I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review of The Bone Witch. This was such an all consuming trilogy with bits and pieces of different books it reminded me of: the Witcher (the way the runes were drawn and it has a bard), Memoirs of a Geisha (the way the asha are trained), Twilight (the way Kalen tells Tea not to move when he kisses her for the first time in the 2nd book–Edward and Bella much?), a little bit of Avatar, the Last Air Bender (the different elemental powers used, wind, water, fire, air, earth) Harry Potter (betrayal of teachers and dragons aka the aza), The Bear and the Nightingale (a powerful woman coming into her own powers to right wrongs society has accepted), I read somewhere a little bit of GOT but I never watched/read those books…I know, gasp. Mulan (how Kalen trains Tea super hard, kind of like how Li Shang trains Mulan). And some Divergent (anti hero giving her life for the better good, brooding handsome love interest). How could one not love the this? First of all, THANK YOU RIN CHUPECO (not sure if you’ll ever see this review) for a couple things: 1. Creating this amazing story that consumed my life while obeying Stay at Home Orders 2. Softening the blow of Kalen’s death by giving us a heads up in the first book. GOOD LORD, I still cried when he actually died. Also, did anyone else picture a younger, buff, Ben Barnes (Prince Caspian) as Kalen?! No? Just me? 3. The loving sibling relationship between Tea and Fox until the very end 4. and Kalen’s POV on your blog. Honestly, you knew we would need that and you delivered. Can you please write all 3 books in his point of view?! Please. I do have a question though. Given how there was so much LGBTQ representation from many of the characters, was Prince Kance asexual? 1. He admits he had no feelings for Inessa, 2. thought of Tea as a sister (which, even though we’re happy she’s with Kalen, come on! I wish he would’ve had at least a little crush on Tea!), and 3. He never really pursued a relationship with anyone or showed any interest. If so, kudos for the serious representation. Likh. How can you not love Likh and her journey, her transformation, from male to female. Her reasoning, explaining what it felt like to be born in the wrong body and wanting to finally feel comfortable in her own skin; the reader can’t help but want Likh to be loved and accepted. Then finding love with Khalad, accepting her just the way she is, yet being completely oblivious to her (and his own) feelings for the longest time. The innocence is so real, it’s adorably painful. Not to mention how kick-ass Likh is as an asha. Yas Queen. I wish there would’ve been more dialogue between Kalen and Tea in Shadow Glass. I know that Kalen is man of few words, but the first half of the book had me longing for more insight into their relationship. Kalen’s confession of his love for Tea in The Heart Forger was so moving and deep, I wanted to see more of that in the third book. I wish the third book would have given us some more intimate moments, especially leading up to his death. It felt short changed, they shared a moment and it was taken from them, as many other moments were during their quest, which I guess is a reoccurring theme in their relationship. They would never truly be happy until the very end. However, Chupeco gives us Kalen’s insight later on on her blog when she writes his POV, something I didn’t know how badly I needed. Your welcome https://www.rinchupeco.com/kalen/ Your welcomeBut Tea’s drunk scene?! YES! I love how she lets her inhibitions down and just swoons over her love for Kalen, to the point that she basically says she wants to marry him! And how he never scolds her for her performance. She’s so in love that she sings a song about him! She never sings! She also professes how glorious in bed he is, like damn Chupeco, why couldn’t we peek into that part of their relationship? lol. Instead he’s amused and gives in to her. How can we not love this guy! Can we just gush over how much Fox and Tea love each other?! Very rarely have I read any genre that puts such importance on sibling relationships! I read in one of Chupeco’s interviews that she imagined Fox as her older brother that passed away before she was born and it just made me love Fox even more. I couldn’t stop from crying when Fox begs Tea not to leave him behind when she does the rune from the book of hidden runes to make him human again (I can’t remember what it’s called). He’s willing to follow her to the after life and spend the rest of his new life making up for turning on her. Like wow. Understanding his anguish, choosing Tea over Inessa, which I think has to do with when Tea lowers the veil during his conversation with Inessa earlier in the story and he claims he would slay his own sister if he needed to because she was getting dangerous. When he feels her presence, before he can explain anything to her, she builds the veil back up and seals off all connections with him, understanding that he will be safer this way, but still hurt from what she’s heard. She never once holds it against him. Not. Ever. The guilt he feels for not believing her, all the time lost between them, the fact that he would leave Inessa behind to make up for everything shows us how deep their connection and devotion is to each other. And Inessa and Kalen aren’t ever jealous. The Oracle! I did not see that coming. That was some A+ plot twist there. She was a formidable opponent and there was a few times where I didn’t think Tea would be successful at the very end. It also cleared up a lot of questions I had about the Oracle, which I appreciated. And the betrayal of Althy. HOW COULD SHE?! I was completely floored when Althy says that although she influenced Tea, it was still Tea’s doing, killing Daisy. Like, no. NO. It was not her fault, how dare you, sir! To sit there and say she was doing this all for the sake of also getting rid of magic. Girl, you lyin. When she delivers the fatal blow to Kalen, I was emotionally wrecked. When Druj turns into a Blight at the very end, I was at the edge of my seat. But of course, Tea comes through showing how powerful she truly is, unfortunately, at the cost of her life. My heart breaks for Tea because it’s one trial after another until she finds peace in death, easing (my) emotional turmoil by having Kalen join her.When she offers Kalen the opportunity to be human again!!! Like, girl! This world does not deserve you! Tea is always putting those she loves ahead of her own needs and desires. I imagine it was the most painful thing she’d ever have to offer, she probably couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t, but of course he turns her down, there’s no Kalen without Tea. I thought I wouldn’t like when Tea gives the rest of her story, written out, to the Bard, because that meant we couldn’t be with her as she continued her mission. But the Bard, true to his word, tells the reader the story from the other side, what we wouldn’t have been able to know if it was just Tea telling it. Everything told from the present point of view was always told by him. However, I’m biased. I just wanted to know more about Tea and Kalen lol. Given how the story revolves around death, the books don’t talk much, if any, about what happens when someone dies. Dark Asha are able to raise people from the dead, but never saying what the after life holds. Understanding that reincarnation is a common belief in Asian cultures, when Tea asks Fox where he went after he died, he says something along the lines of, “nothing and everything” making the reader wonder what death truly holds. At the very end of The Shadow Glass when the Bard is paying respects to the statue of Tea and Kalen, before Fox and Inessa’s wedding, he hears a familiar voice, turns around in disappointment when the voice and face don’t match. The woman he see’s says, “sons with my fire, daughters with my eyes. Mayhap one day, they will. A life worth dying for is a life worth living after all’” and then the man and woman disappear. They don’t enter the party, they don’t leave the palace, they just disappear. There’s a possibility that they may have been reincarnated. Another theory could be that this was her final goodbye to the Bard for telling her story. Interestingly enough, after Tea gains her black heartglass back during her exile and goes to the Gorvekai to pass the final trial Love, the one she failed the first time, she receives a vision: “A new vision swam through my mind. I saw all seven daeva bowing to me, with Kalen, smiling and alive, my hand in his, while I stood surrounded by light. You were right, Lily, my heartsglass wept. A prince on my arm, surrounded by silver. You were right.” The main possibility is that they’re living in the after life, because once she drew the rune to give her brother back the life he lost, all magic in the world would disappear, meaning both deava and Tea and Kalen would no longer exist because they were now magical creatures possessing the shadow glass. I’d also like to think Tea and Kalen are rewarded for their good works and given the opportunity for a second chance in life, however, the interaction with the bard could have been an apparition since no other instances of reincarnation are hinted at. Needless to say, I have an emotional hole in my heart after having finished this trilogy. It’s always hard closing a book with characters you grew so fondly of. Excuse me while I binge watch the office to cheer myself up. Rin, did you cry at the end as well?

[hitchell-mope]

(Third movie. The ember incident)

(On the Jolly Roger. Harriet melts out of the shadows. Falls face first on the floor. She gets up. Grabs a fire poker. And immediately starts attacking everything in sight)

Harriet: I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM ALL. I WANT NOTHING MORE THEN TO GRAB THEM AND GRIND THEIR FACES INTO POISONOUS CORAL. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

(CJ has been patiently watching her sisters tirade, while silently judging her, and is now ready to say her piece)

CJ: drink?

Harriet: port if we have it

CJ: coming right up

Harriet: what’ve you been reading. A brine bloated Bronte?

CJ: a sea soaked Shelley actually

Harriet: the light is terrible in here. You should at least read out on the deck if not at the shadow man’s

CJ: you know I could but I don’t want to.

Harriet: fair is fair.

CJ: so. I take it the little convo didn’t work out?

Harriet: that little witch girl got to me before I could slay the dragon

CJ: and how would that have worked out for you? The king has magic. Then there’s her sister. And the genie. And the kid. And the specky little four eyed weirdo. Who all love her for some reason.

Harriet: because they don’t know what she is.

CJ: the daughter of Maleficent

(Harriet gives her a withering look)

CJ: ohhhh the other thing

Harriet: yes the other thing (she takes a swig of port) if they knew. About the both of them. They would never be welcome. Then the kingdom would be Harry’s for the taking

CJ: we have to tell him first

Harriet: if we ever see him again

CJ: they both knew what would happen if they hypnotised the prince. It’s twue wuv after all

Harriet: uuuurrrrgggghhhh! Gimme a Legume any day.

CJ: why?

Harriet: Deaux is 6”5 and built like a cement lavatory. You do the math

CJ: yeah. Still can’t see it.

Harriet: for that I blame Gothel

CJ: in her day mother Gothel was a very handsome woman

Harriet: if you say so. But now she’s old haggard and constantly whinging about a German lettuce.

CJ: I would also like the German lettuce. Gaddammit. Why are all the good women either too old, straight, prefer my brother or hate my guts.

Harriet: because there’s about fifty mothers here, with as many children on this slag heap there’s bound to be hetero’s, they think they can “fix” him even though he doesn’t need fixing and those people are idiots who will one day be felled by our blades

(A dustished but very old man hobbles down to the galley)

CJ: hey uncle Starkey

Starkey: good afternoon girls. Have you see your father today

Harriet: with luck he swallowed his own tongue during the night

Starkey: Harriet

Harriet: fine. I’ll go check on the bastard

(Meanwhile at the arcade. Hades has arrived just as Mal and the others left

Facillier: and where exactly do you think you are going?

Hades (Jesse L Martin): the barrier. Iris. I have a present for her. Whew. That took a lot out of me

Facillier: if you teleported then you’d not be out of breath like a common mortal

Hades: I need to get this to her before she leaves. Engagement present

(He holds up the ember. Facillier blanches and grabs the gods arm)

Facillier: my daughter is in that limo. And I entrusted her safety to the future queen. Do you honestly think I’d let you endanger my daughter because of your frankly horrendously tardy sentiment

Hades: 🎶it can be her old new borrowed and blue🎶

Facillier: it will not recognise her. Either of them. It could kill them both.

Hades: Hadie said that as well.

Facillier: how drunk was the young one

Hades: something about reed root

Facillier: oh yeah. I gave it to him.

Hades: thank you for that by the way. Now he can argue.

Facillier: you’re welcome

Hades: just wait until you kid starts boozing

(Facillier stops smiling)

Hades: ta ta

(He teleports away in electric blue fire waving goodbye as he does so)

Facillier (hurriedly): no nononononono (sighs deeply and looks upwards) I know I did wrong. And I have more then made up for it. But you are testing me. And it is not appreciated. So please. One break. I have surely earned that much?

Tremaine: FACILLIER!

Facillier (under his breath): evidently not (with a fake smile on his face and faux joviality) Lady Tremaine. To what do I owe the pleasure

Tremaine: is it back yet.

Facillier: who

Tremaine: the flesh mass I pulled out of my daughter 13 years ago

Facillier (looking and sounding rightly horrified): you mean Dizzy

Tremaine: is that it’s name? Huh. I thought we left it unnamed

Facillier: of course. Wouldn’t want to give her the illusion that you care about her would you?

Tremaine: see. You get it.

(Facillier groans inwardly)

Tremaine: so. Where is she. Is she back yet. The salon needs cleaning.

Facillier: she is in Auradon. Where she has been for a year.

Tremaine: I assumed that folly would have fallen through ages ago

Facillier: in case you haven’t noticed there is a distinct lack of unhappy starving neglected and abused children milling about.

Tremaine: I know it’s sickening isn’t it.

Facillier: not really no. There’s only so much hades and myself can do. It’s good that they’re getting out of here. We deserve it.

Tremaine: I don’t believe I deserve this fate

Facillier: and that is exactly why you do. Anyway. Haven’t you got a grandson you torture?

Tremaine: Anastasia took Anthony away. Eight years ago. As far as I know he’s in flagrante with that Hadie person

Facillier: good for him.

Tremaine: people like him should be strung up. You can clean my salon. Won’t that be nice. Your people made a name for themselves working for my kind after all

Facillier: in a single breath you have displayed homophobia and racism. So no. Clean up your own mess you privileged bitch

(He teleports her away)

Vision!Celia: she has such a bad attitude

Facillier: it’s the privilege. Ruins people.

V!Celia: you raised Celia right. Well. Right as you could given circumstances

Facillier: now she’s safe

(From outside there’s a screeching noise)

Facillier: I spoke too soon

(In the limo)

Mal: don’t tell me you brought it with you?

Evie: of course I did

Ben: brought what?

Mal: my dear little sister is belabouring under the impression that she’s my wedding planner. Ben and I have been engaged to less than a day.

Evie: your point being?

Mal: my point being is. How long have you been working on this? Since cotillion?

Evie: no not cotillion. Coronation

Mal: my mistake. Gissa look then

Evie: no! With any luck you won’t have to until the final product

Mal: ahahaha. No. Give it here.

Evie: but Ben

Mal (pitting up a hand to silence her sister): Ben dear. Would you like to know what our wedding is going to look like?

Ben: yes please

Evie (sighing): fine

(She hands the binder to her sister who starts perusing it with Ben)

Mal: let’s see now.

Ben: oh dear oh dear dear dear dear dear

Evie: what now?

Mal: white dress? Really?

Evie: what’s wrong with white? It’s classic traditional pure innocent virg...(sees the “bitch please look at who you’re talking to” expressions bal are giving her and how much Mal is pressed up against Ben’s chest) ok I see where I went wrong. So what do you suggest.

Ben: purple green and black for Mal’s side

Mal: blue and yellow for Ben’s side

Evie: but the dresses

Mal: I have some ideas. Tell me Ben. What’s your favourite dress of mine.

Ben: uhhhh. Hmmmmm. The dress you had at cotillion after you turned into a dragon

Mal: great. We use that one then.

Evie: what about the feathers?

Mal: I’m not that fond of feathers.

Evie: yeah yeah yeah. Everyone’s aware of your stance on doves. What about swans.

Mal: love her. Should’ve killed Regina though. And her daughter in law is more my speed

Ben: so is the son. Well. The season seven one

Mal: why do you think I opened with daughter in law

Evie: how did this turn into a rundown of your collective fictional crushes.

Mal: would you rather we talk about Paul Rudd. Or Mark Ruffalo? Whichever you prefer is fine with us

Evie (going red in the face and squirming in her seat): ummmm.

Mal: I’m kidding sis. Swans are fine. But dye them black blue purple yellow and green. Mkay?

Evie: yeah fine whatever

Doug: JESUS CHRIST!!!!

(Everyone follows his gaze to the back window. A women is running to the archway sending others into a panic. She’s got a glowing jewel in her hand)

Doug: who is that

Vks (except Celia): I don’t know

Celia: it’s hades

Jay: what.

Celia: gods don’t have a fixed form Jay

Mal: c’mon

(They all get out of the limo. Except Celia who’s caught by Mal and given to Carlos who puts her back in the limo)

Celia: what the hell are you doing let me help

Mal: sorry kid. Your dad told me to look after you. And to do that you can’t be here. Carlos can you take her back to the school?

Carlos: sure thing

(He gets into the drivers seat and tears away leaving the others to face the god)

Mal: what do we do.

Evie: oh I think you know

Mal: oh. Heh heh. Right

(Her eyes glow bright emerald gree. Purple smoke surrounds her. When it clears she’s a dragon)

Jay: I’ll cover Mal. Ben and Evie you two go either side. Doug. Call the guys at home. Tell them to stop filming

Doug: why would they still be. Oh ok I heard it as I said. I’ll calm them

(In Auradon Carlos has just burst out of the limo)

Carlos: gran you gotta come with me right now. Gramma could you please take Celia and make sure she doesn’t off?

Elsa: what’s wrong?

Belle: why would Celia run off?

Celia: Hades is trying to escape the barrier.

Carlos: I didn’t want to tell them just yet kid

Celia: well it’s the truth

Belle: why is he trying to escape the barrier

Chad: who’s escaping the barrier

Celia: Don’t you have a girlfriend to disappoint

Chad: she’s at the bar

Celia: then go

Chad: I’d rather stay here

Carlos: FUCK OFF CHAD

Chad: well then

Belle: chad please

Chad: oh my god HAHAHAHA SHE GONNA DIE HAHAHAHAHA

(They all look towards the jumbo screen)

Carlos: oh this is not good

(At the barrier hades is being force choked by Ben, Jay and Evie which is making him flit between all four forms. The ember is blasting Mal in the heart. She’s screaming. Doug’s putting gloves on in case it goes south. It does. Mal manages to fly above the ember blast. Hades accidentally drops it. Once it hits the ground it’s blast concentrates on Ben, Jay and Evie. Mal turns back into a human too weak to maintain dragon form and falls. Doug catches her)

(In Auradon Chad’s still laughing)

Chad: look at your freak of a queen now people. So pathetic she can’t beat a god. One who crossdresses apparently

Leah (hobbling up to them): he is right. That girl will spell destruction for us all

Belle: why are you here Leah?

Elsa: more to the point. Why are you still alive

Audrey (rushing to them): I’m so sorry. I invited her so she can apologise to Mal and oh my god what’s happening

Celia: a god, who FYI is more powerful then a genie, dark fairy, sorceress and hybrid combined numbnuts, is trying to escape the barrier

Audrey: are they ok

Chad: who cares

Carlos, Celia, Belle, Elsa and Audrey: we care

Leah: I agree with chad. Perhaps if she dies my granddaughter can retain her rightful place on the throne then our plans will not have been for naught

Audrey: you know what Grammy? Why don’t you just piss of back to Auroria. Because you are not wanted here. Queen Elsa could you do the honours? Please?

Elsa: it would be my pleasure

(She teleports Leah away in a flurry of snow)

Carlos: where’d Celia go?

(In te gym Celia melts out from the shadow just in time to see dizzy and the twins cheering at Lonnie beating Gil in a sparring match)

Celia: what the hell are you doing. (Pointing to Gil) your brother (pointing to Dizzy) your mother (pointing to Lonnie) and the object of your lust are being targeted by an escaping god.

Lonnie: wait what? How did you I

Celia: I can read people alright. It’s not a. It’s not a good thing. Especially on the island. Anyway. Hades. Escaping. Friends. In trouble. Dizz’s asshole cousin. Running his mouth. Help. Or not

Gil: help. No question. We help however we can.

Celia: good. You two do something about the stench. Dizzy the twins and I will go back outside come on guys

(She melts back into shadow along with the others. At the barrier Doug has set Mal on the ground and turned his attention to hades)

Doug: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

Hades (Sebastian Stan): it won’t stop until it’s back inside the barrier

Doug: argh I hate adults.

(He rubs part Jay and kicks the ember back inside. The momentum of the jewel hits hades square in the forehead and sends him somesaulting backwards. Ben, Jay and Evie collapse on the ground)

Hades (on the verge of tears): I’m so sorry my darlings

(Mal, eyes ablaze with fury, sends thorn vines in his direction. Hades teleports away in blue fire and the vines disintegrate when they hit the barrier. Then Mal collapses again)

Doug (going to each of them in turn): is everyone alright? I’m just gonna roll you over in your sides so you don’t swallow your tongues.

Evie (pulling him into a hug): you saved us

Doug: well my family was in trouble. It’s what we do for each other. Why would that-stone-thing-attack you guys

Mal (breathing heavily): I uh I don’t I dun kn

Ben (rushing to her side): it’s ok. It’s ok. It’s all over

Evie (scoffing): for all you know. It’s hades. He mortalised his nephew because he was jealous.

Doug: that was a bastardisation. Zeus is really the dickhead. It’s not Hades who literally swans about look for human women to prey upon

Jay: you know all this how?

Doug: I read.

Jay: such as?

Doug: tumblr. Mostly. When you manage to find your own niche away from drama you it’s very informative.

Ben: but you’re technologically illiterate.

Doug: I was not so much but that Evie and Carlos helped oh dear

(Mal’s retched and thrown up on the ground)

Mal: that was awful. It was tearing my magic out of me. It felt like last year.

Evie: I felt it too. Like a price of my soul was being ripped out

Jay: we need to get back to the school.

Doug: none of you are in any position to teleport yourselves or me. I’ll call Carlos and ask him to bring the car (he rifles around in his pockets) fucking fuckity fuck fuck shitting hell

Mal: what’s wrong.

Doug: I put my phone on the seat next to me. In the limo.

Jay: so we’re fucked?

Doug: basically yeah

Celia (in the limo): not completely

Ben: what the heck?

Celia: you really should swear more

Mal: what are you doing Celia?

Celia: I’ve come to help. Unless you want to be exposed to the elements

Jay: no thanks

Celia: then get in.

(The teens, with Ben caring Mal bridal style, all pile in the limo and drive off. None of them see the two eels watching them from the water. This is when “wicked always wins” happens)

[newyorktheater]

Diahann Carroll in House of Flowers at the age of 19

Diahann Carroll, who died Friday at the age of 84, is best known as the first black woman to star on a TV series, “Julia” in 1968, but she was a barrier breaker on Broadway too. Born in the Bronx, she made her Broadway debut way back in 1954, at the age of 19, in Truman Capote and Harold Arlen’s “House of Flowers,” the only debutante in an illustrious company led by Pearl Bailey and Alvin Ailey. The famous Harlem photographer Carl Van Vechten captured her here in color.

Carroll was the first black woman to win the Tony Award for Best Actress for a musical, for “No Strings” in 1962.She returned to Broadway in 1982 to portray Doctor Martha Livingstone in “Agnes of God”

  Diahann Carroll in No Strings with Richard Kiley

Diahann Carroll in Agnes of God with Geraldine Page

Her experiences on Broadway were in sharp contrast to her experience on television. As a black female” surrounded by white supremacists and chauvinists, she once said, “I had to learn how to tap dance around the situation”

Martin Scorsese’s  “The Irishman”, featuring an all-star cast including DeNiro and Pacino and Cannavale, will be presented at Broadway’s beautiful Belasco Theater from November 1 to December 1. It is not a play, but a film — the first movie screening in the theater’s 112-year-old history.  The film, about a mob hitman recalling his possible involvement with the slaying of Jimmy Hoffa, will then be shown on Netflix. The director had hoped to put the film in movie houses, but major movie chains balked at playing host to a Netflix film.

Though Netflix will be installing equipment to allow for state of the art screening,  it will maintain the normal schedule for productions at the Belasco  — eight screenings a week, including Mondays dark and matinees on the weekend.

The Week in New York Theater Reviews and Previews

Preview: Linda Vista on Broadway Ian Barford realizes that some audience members may view the 50-year-old divorcé he portrays in Tracy Letts’ Linda Vista as “despicable, a misanthrope, a narcissist and probably a nihilist.” He feels that way about him too. But the actor also sees his character, Dick Wheeler, as “incredibly articulate, and hilarious,” even “noble.” “He has so many dimensions and contradictions: He’s lovable and he’s hateable,” Barford says. “I’m scared many people will love to hate him — and I’m sure that many people will hate to love him.”

Heroes of the Fourth Turning

Conservatives don’t all think alike; some of them hate Trump; some don’t see Liberals as evil (some do.) Some are deeply weird.

It is a sure sign of the political divisiveness in America that these observations may well seem like revelations to some theatergoers attending  Will Arbury’s new play at Playwrights Horizons. “Heroes of the Fourth Turning” allows us to eavesdrop on what feel like astute and authentic conversations at a gathering of  former classmates at a conservative Catholic college in Wyoming.   Terrifically acted and intellectually stimulating,  “Heroes” is also eerie, at times confusing, too long and too dark. And I mean dark literally; it takes place during nighttime in the dimly lit backyard of Justin’s house.

  Chalk

“Chalk,” a 40-minute comedy in which silent comic Alex Curtis creates an entire world for the audience using little more than a piece of chalk, is exactly the sort of show I always hope for at the Fringe Festival — inventive, entertaining, and short.

Unmaking Toulouse-Lautrec

“Moulin Rouge” on Broadway has several things in common with Bated Breath Theater Company’s low-budget show about the same people, place and period, especially in my reaction to them both. As with “Moulin Rouge,” I found “Unmaking Toulouse-Lautrec” thrilling from the moment I entered the West Houston bar where it takes place…until a few minutes after it began. That’s because the environment on the second floor lounge of the Madame X bar is spot-on in look and feel….a show about the life and times of French artist Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec that is at best inventive, at worst amateurish, and overall a mishmash.

The Week in New York Theater News

Ed Harris

Nina Grollman

Nick Robinson

Russell Harvard

Kyle Scatliffe

Taylor Trensch

M Emmet Walsh

Year 2 of “To Kill A Mockingbird,” which begins Nov 5, features some intriguing replacement casting:

Ed Harris as Atticus Finch, Nick Robinson as Jem Finch, Eliza Scanlen as Mayella Ewell, Kyle Scatliffe as Tom Robinson, LisaGay Hamilton as Calpurnia, Nina Grollman as Scout Finch, Taylor Trensch as Dill Harris, Manoel Felciano as Horace Gilmer, Russell Harvard as Link Deas and Boo Radley, M. Emmet Walsh as Judge Taylor

The 2019 New York International Fringe Festival: What happened?!

The short answer is: They ran out of money.

Lauren Gunderson

The Half-Life of Marie Curie, starring Kate Mulgrew of Orange Is the New Black, will open at Minetta Lane Theater November 19, produced by Audible. It is written by Lauren Gunderson, who is yet again this year the most produced playwright in America – but has never been produced on Broadway.

Is America’s Favorite Playwright Too Much for New York?

“Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough,” the show will now be known as “MJ.” It’s currently in a multi-week development phase in New York City and is scheduled to hit Broadway in the summer of 2020.

Seventy-nine artist have been granted MacDowell Fellowships, which enable them to attend fall residencies. These include composer Jeanine Tesori and theater artists: Sarah DeLappe, Lisa Dring, David Mallamud, Stevie Nemazee, Terry O’Reilly, LaDarrion Williams, Gary Winter, and Zack Zadek.

What is immersive theater? The six elements that define it at its best

Foundry Theatre to Close After 25 Years

Uta Hagen centennial

The history of modern celebrity

Study shows viewers want more representation for those with disabilities

Spielberg: “We filmed West Side Story all over New York, from Flatbush to Fort Tryon Park” — and finished at Steiner_Studios in the Brooklyn Navy Yard. “The city lent us its beauty and its energy….” Movie’s coming out Dec 18,2020.

Martin Scorsese’s film “The Irishman” will be screened at the Belasco Theater on Broadway from Nov. 1 through Dec. 1

Elsiefest

    Rip Taylor, 88, mostly known as a TV game show panelist. But he also starred in a Broadway show in 1981, Sugar Babies. also wrote and performed an autobiographical one-man play called “It Ain’t All Confetti.”

#Stageworthy News of the Week: Diahann Carroll (1935-2019) Broadway Groundbreaker. DeNiro, Pacino, Cannavale in Broadway’s Belasco….for Netflix. Diahann Carroll, who died Friday at the age of 84, is best known as the first black woman to star on a TV series, "Julia" in 1968, but she was a barrier breaker on Broadway too. 

[eyebright-iris]

Review: Met Gala 2019

Good morning to girls and gays only.  Straight men can perish.

Well, the Met Gala has rolled around once again and all I can say is: I’m so glad I’m a lesbian. The theme for this year was ‘Camp: Notes on Fashion’ and my GOD did some men decide that this was the perfect opportunity to come in a bland black tux or worse.

Some of the biggest disappointments of the night for me have to be Rami Malek and Taron Egerton, who, having both just played some of the most iconic men in recent history who lived, breathed and ate the essence of camp, saw fit to turn up in black tuxes.  Taron’s was kinda sparkly though and I still respect the dude for his general lack of typical masculinity elsewhere (more men commenting “phwoar” on their mates’ Instagram, please).  Shout out to Frank Ocean who showed up looking like any bouncer you might find outside one of my local clubs on a Saturday night.  He collaborated with James Charles to prove that while some gays showed their best, others certainly did not.  The theme was CAMP, James Charles, and you still couldn’t deliver.

I appreciated the change in pace from Darren Criss and Harry Styles, but to be honest, Harry’s had camper looks in concert and Darren Criss…well, I loved his look, but it also took me a solid ten minutes to work out that it was him and not just Brendon Urie in his regular concert gear.  Glittery jackets and statement eyeliner do not a camp icon make, I’m afraid, though you certainly did better than so many others.

Kim Kardashian was certainly…there.  I’m impressed with the way she managed to make herself look like she’s just stepped out of the ocean butt-naked and dripping wet, but girl.  You’re rich as fuck.  There’s more than bodycon dresses out there.  Also please smack your husband, he’s a dick and he’s wearing a black tracksuit.  Kendall and Kylie were a little more flamboyant but honestly, they were single-colour knockoffs of things I would say you could find at a Rio street festival, except that would be an insult to Brazil and all the ways Rio festivals embody everything the Jenner looks were not.  And to be real with you?  For all the colour that was there, they were boring.  What is it with these women and being afraid to be #Iconique? It’s sad that all they seem to know how to do is emphasise their boobs and hips in dresses with very little fabric to try and be daring.  If they weren’t so rich and influential no one would pay them any mind because you can see the same look on anyone else.

While I don’t like Cardi B, I can appreciate her attempt to get into the spirit of the Met Gala, which she pulled off so well last year.  I only wish her skirt hadn’t ended up looking like rows of theatre seating.  Katy Perry was there as both a chandelier and a hamburger, which, while a step up from the Jenner-Kardashian contributions, leads me to wonder if she knows what ‘camp’ means, or if her foray into queer culture stopped once she was done appropriating sapphic sexuality for male consumption in 2008.  Special mention must go to Benedict Cumberbatch who saw fit to show up dressed like some bizarre visiting cousin of Colonel Sanders who maybe definitely owned a plantation.  It wasn’t a black tux but somehow I just wish it had been.

To get to the real stars of the night, I think it’s only fair to start off by saying this Met Gala was once again, Black Excellence.  I cannot BREATHE for the number of incredible, powerful black icons taking to the pink carpet in works of art.  Let’s begin, shall we?

Billy Porter showed up (and showed everyone else up) with six hot half naked slave dudes decked out in gold carrying him in on a black-and-gold chaise-lounge like a modern-day Cleopatra and, once he had both feet firmly on the floor, threw up the massive golden wings of Isis and owned the entire space around him.  The crown.  The wings. The copious gold sparkly shit. The gold bedazzled stuff on his face. Every other man should be ashamed of his failure to measure up to the king. Also every man in a tux found DEAD by the side of the road thanks to our Lord and Saviour Billy Porter.

If Billy Porter is the king, then surely, there are too many queens to choose from.  From Laverne Cox’s strikingly shaped black dress with her brilliant blue-white hair and statement makeup, to Lupita Nyong’o showing up in the full neon spectrum of the rainbow, black women showed up to take the crown every single time last night.  Janelle Monáe’s stunning artsy dress blew me away, from the Picasso-like features to the multitude of hats that I have no idea how she balanced, she’s a masterpiece.  Lizzo stepped out looking like the Empress of Flamingos and I am absolutely here for every second of it.  The colours are loud, bold, and the outfit is as large-as-life as Lizzo herself.  Her hair was so stunning, I swear I thought it was a crown at first.

Black hair certainly had a starring role on the red carpet as well, from Tessa Thompson’s insanely long braid (she was carrying a WHIP to complete her outfit RIP all wlw) to Lupita’s impressive afro with its many golden combs.  I adored Danai Gurira’s hair and especially loved her Oscar Wilde-inspired outfit: here is a woman who understands her brief and works from it to great effect, and I loved Keiynan Lonsdale’s gorgeous hair and butterfly gown – seeing him embracing his queerness with both arms since Love, Simon led him to come out has made my heart big.

I can’t move on from the black dominance and excellence of the night without mention of two of my favourite looks: Zendaya and Lena Waithe.  If Billy Porter is the king and there are too many queens to count, then Zendaya stands out yet again as the living, breathing princess of the lot of them. I can hear the white tears over black girl magic Cinderella from here.  She arrived in a whole Cinderella dress that expanded and glows from within, a pumpkin-carriage purse and her own fairy godmother to transform her with a little bibbity-bobbity-boo?  She even lost her damn glass slipper on the stairs. A true artist.  As they say in the LGBT+ community: um, wig.

Speaking of which: Lena Waithe.  The lesbian icon herself, who showed up to last year’s Catholic-themed Met Gala in a pride flag cape, and who went hell for leather this year as well, putting every man in a tux to shame by not only out-classing them in how fantastic she looked in her lilac suit, but also paying homage to the origins of camp, with the back of her jacket boldly stating “Black Drag Queens Invented Camp” and the pinstripes on the suit actually being cleverly displayed lyrics to iconic drag queen songs.  She really Did That yet again and I’m knocked dead.

This review is already long as hell and it’s about to get longer because there are more looks that I want to mention.

First of all: Lady. Fucking. Gaga.  My girl did four outfits on the pink carpet in the space of 15 minutes and holy shit did she kill it.  Starting out in a voluminous hot pink ballgown, followed by a more sedate but still impressive black one with a matching umbrella, then down to a slim hot-pink number, huge sunglasses, and statement telephone, and finally ending up in an iconic mesh and underwear set, all while sporting the most gorgeous gold false eyelashes that made the whole thing pop.  The creativity and flair of everything Gaga does has made her iconic throughout the years and this event was no exception.

Ezra Miller FUCKED IT UP. Pinstripe suit with the sweeping train, glittering cage corset on top and a myriad of imitation eyes all over his face, carrying an eerie mask of himself on a stick?  Phenomenal.  The confidence in his walk as he moved and the way he displayed his look was so striking and seeing him own it so much made my night.

I loved Jordan Roth’s take on Billy Porter’s wings, allowing him to show up as a literal whole theatre. I loved Ryan Murphy’s sparkling pink champagne tux and high-collared cape.  Florence Welch absolutely slayed in her glittering wing-collared cloak.

However, one of the standout looks for the night was Hamish Bowles.  The embodiment of camp, with that magnificent fur-trimmed patterned cape. The look is absolutely dominating even when he’s standing still, and when he moves, the whole thing comes alive. Watching some of the dynamic shots taken of him having fun with his outfit, I felt like I was watching a bullfighter in a lion’s mane – and all of that is good.  I can’t quite put my finger on why I felt he looked like a fabulous Mrs Doubtfire (maybe it’s the shoes) but the outfit was one of the best and definitely set a bar that so many men fell short of.

Final Words:

Can someone please tell cishet men to step their game up?  Or men in general (I see you Frank Ocean and James Charles letting the damn side down)?  They can stay boring if they want, however.  The rest of us will be having far more fun without them, and the plain black tuxes certainly are no talking point of the evening.