#Alphonse the mule

[emiko-matsui]

Lou Wilson being SO angry at alphonse that he stops using his character voice that he's been compulsively doing for 16 episodes and in his normal full grown man voice yells GET THAT MOTHERFUCKER GOOSE YOU GO FUCKING SCOOP THAT FUCKER GOOSE HE'S NOT GETTING AWAY

[soup-child]

On the spectrum of rewarding a nat 20 there's Brennan "lets a donkey break free from a seemingly improvised curse and turn into a handsome prince because a cricket shot a rocket at him" Lee Mulligan and on the other end there's Brian "you come to the reality that the jean jacket that you wore to impress your girlfriend 20 years ago was super lame" Murphy

[keirashark]

Imagine being the most cringefail mule who has ever existed. Imagine that you in fact weren’t always a mule, but were actually a prince cursed to be a mule. IMAGINE the UTTER FUCKERY you had to get up to in order to have the reversing conditions of your curse be “A CRICKET NEEDS TO SHOOT A ROCKET AT YOU.”

Also, you knew plot-critical information the whole time and just didn’t share it for unknown reasons. You are Alphonse the Mule Prince.

Also, Brennan is a comedic genius and he deserves a kiss on the forehead for this bit.

[operationslipperypuppet]

alphonse should just always show up. i expect to see him in the final battle. i expect to see him in the next intrepid heroes season. starstruck season 2 feat. alphonse the mule, unhappy to be there and in a space suit

[generallyjl]

Dimension20 Neverafter: yeah, this is our horror season featuring cursed and deadly lands of stories where their reality is crumbling under the crushing weight of fate and destiny and fear and fury. the party has already been slaughtered once only to come back into an even more twisted world, and they can die again suddenly at any moment in their seemingly futile struggle against unfathomable powers.

also Dimension20 Neverafter: *this whole fuckin' thing*

[islandoforder]

zac being like “look alphonse has his problems but he’s my oldest friend” and then going into hysterics bc he completely forgot that those problems included straight up knocking pinocchio out

[dimension20official]

Easily the greatest roll in all of Dimension 20: Neverafter

[thinkanamelater]

hey so umm we broke your mule's curse. yeah yeah a cricket shot a firework to him. he only has two hit points left. no he didn't learn to roll before turning back into a prince, sorry

[impulsivesuperrobin]

god i wish i had money

[silverspadesss]

it’s so interesting how pib began this journey trying to get by by pretending his companion was a cursed prince who promised great reward after being helped. and now he is rewarded by reuniting with tomas by a cursed prince he’s known for most of his life in return for protecting him. i love inadvertent parallels so much.

[the-swift-tricker]

pinocchio shooting what effectively amounts to a bazooka at alphonse and in the last second having a change of heart and using hand of destiny to let him live is absolutely bonkers

[emiko-matsui]

gerard, seeing a pathetic animal turn into a handsome prince:

[dappledwrites]

Pib trying to get Alphonse out of there. “I tried to be brave! You lied to me!” Pib giving him the help action. Pib saying that Alphonse is the last remnant he has of Marienne. “Come on Alphonse!” A cricket on a firework. A curse, breaking. “Make this worth it.” Pib messing up Gerard’s shot. A prince with two hit points. Courtesy of his Highness. “I’ll always remember you, Puss in Boots.” Marienne Duo my beloved.

[un-liebling]

[kittyoverlord]

Nothing could have prepared me...

[dramaqueer-commie]

i dont think ive ever laughed as hard out loud watching dimension 20 as the in the land of giants episode of neverafter

spoiler

when cricket fires a firework at alphonse the mule, Pinocchio doing everything to kill him and instead rolling a nat 20, killing everyone around him, saving his life and freeing him from captivity, alphonse - who has been *so* useless until now- doing some epic fucking gymnastics, landing with two hitpoints as Brennan completely improvises that he was a cursed prince. and i get that that needed to happen to truly reward that nat 20 but that means the fairy who cursed this prince Alphonse to be a mule (extremely specific btw) set the event to break the course to be some combination of a dehydrated familiar cricket on the verge of passing out shooting a toy island firework at him, which would under normal circumstances definitely kill him. who was that fairy i need to meet her