#All the times they met before happened around some conflict this is the first time they stopped to talk without attacking each other
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lilacxquartz · 2 days ago
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PRETTY LITTLE TRINKET
harpy shoko ieiri x f!reader
plot: while lost at sea, you find yourself saved by a monster yet unable to leave.
summary: as you recover, you find yourself bonding with a monster but her friends are cautious of your existence — a/n: this is yandere, so it will still feel unsettling at times.
chapter 2 of 5 • < previous chapter • next chapter > main masterlist • ao3
Chapter 2: Danger?
You stared at the bird-like, human-like hybrid that nestled before you with both caution and awe, battling between falling asleep and staying awake at the same time in a conflicting moment. Internally, your instincts begged for you to get away but your heart told you otherwise—claiming that this creature only wanted to help—to give in, to not fear the unknown.
As she woke up next to you, her attitude seemed almost… indifferent towards you, as if dissecting who you were, analysing your very being. It was ever so slightly unsettling, if you were honest but you tried hard to not let it bother you considering the bizarre circumstances otherwise.
Your eyes drifted around her form, taking in the coppery brown feathers that adorned her body with a sleek amber sheen; looking straight ahead into her deep, black eyes that you could have sworn absorbed all hope into exhausted nothingness and yet… there was a flicker of something just beyond what she let on.
Was it hope?
You couldn’t quite yet tell.
Slowly but surely over the last day or so, you worked with her to attempt to communicate that you couldn’t live the same way she could, only for her to share a common tongue with you. It was frustrating, but you had to wonder why she withheld such crucial information from you. There was otherwise the chattering from before, something akin to bird-like warbling and then there was an understanding, albeit with an outdated grasp of what you otherwise knew.
“Fire,” you repeated in an attempt to get her to understand, her initial response to the word was met with flinched retaliation, but as you continued to preach the requirement over and over, she warmed up to it. “I need… fire for warmth, to cook so that I can eat,” and just by looking at your leg, not knowing exactly what was going on beneath the bindings, you likely needed to cauterise the wound lest it got infected, too. You needed fire to do such a thing.
Tilting her head to the side, she then without warning leaned into your personal space with an intrigued sort of intensity. Her breath was warm against the cold air, generating a puff of steam as she spoke, “Fire… can’t happen,” she replied with a soft tone, tracing a path down your jaw with the back of her clawed finger, “you can get better with me.”
“But, but…” you piped up to argue, feeling ever stubborn, “I… humans,” you tried, pointing at yourself to convey understanding, “I need to cook my food and… and… I need warmth, I need to treat my wounds… I…”
Her eyes could only narrow as you listed off your demands for survival, seeming not quite annoyed but once again, perhaps a little apprehensive towards the admission of flames. She tried to help though, addressing one issue at a time, “Your wound?” she referenced first, lowering her hand and drumming a finger along the seaweed that wrapped around it. “It’s healing,” she stated as she unwound the makeshift gauze, revealing that it was looking quite better, almost impossibly so at the rate that had transpired, “it might feel… strange, because of the magic properties, so it tingles.”
You blinked, your brows knitting in slight confusion. “Magic…?” Were you dreaming, after all? Because otherwise, where exactly have you ended up where magic wasn’t just some make-believe concept found in stories?
She seemed to laugh a little at your surprise but nodded either way, her voice sounding assuring, “I can heal. It is my… ability. So you are safe with me.”
“O…kay,” you slowly replied, trying to accept the bizarre turn of events, the entire situation was already unreal, so you tried for now to accept the situation as it was laid out in front of you. “You’ll keep me healthy, right? But.. I still need warmth and the food issue…”
As you trailed off, she addressed the other point, aligning her body so that her form almost cuddled around you, enveloping you within her feathered form, her wings acting like plush blankets. You found yourself settling your back against her chest, finding that she provided a wealth of heat radiating from her being, surging an almost near-searing hotness that immediately stifled any goosebumps, that silenced any shivering.
“Oh…” you warily trailed off, “this… this is nice,” you admitted, settling into her body. In truth, you were still all sorts of terrified despite the comfort otherwise offered to you. You tended to run your mouth when you were nervous, never quite shutting up about what was happening around you, should an event be something you couldn’t understand nor feel safe in. It was a bad habit really, but you supposed that she didn’t see it as such, so this was already a pleasant change from what it was like back at home, where your inquisitive nature was often rather punished instead.
And instead of any conflicting response as you had so feared, this feathered creature didn’t once instruct nor snap at you to be quiet, nor even vaguely suggest it. Instead, she pulled you in tighter, allowing you to feel the full extent of the warmth she was capable of giving you. Although you couldn’t help but feel that there was something darker lurking beyond what she offered—at least when you caught fleeting glimpses of those eyes you couldn’t quite tear away from—no, there was something troubled deep down beyond what she let on, something… dangerous.
You tried your best to decipher the true meaning of what went on beyond that intensive stare but you couldn’t quite catch it. Instead, you just remained huddled tight against her, feeling as her fingers crept towards the seaweed, stroking delicate paths around the bindings until you felt something sharp. Her finger pushed a little too hard in, perhaps on accident, breaking through your tender skin. In response, you seethed out a whining gasp, jolting back in pained retaliation, at last snapping her out of the trance she seemed to be lost within.
“My apologies,” she replied in an almost blank tone before realising the extent of her damage, “I did not mean to…”
You furrowed your brows as you searched for a response, but before you could properly reply, she quickly parted away from you, covering you up in what made up her nest. Twigs, stray feathers, tufts of fur, and dried seaweed weaved over your body, planting her palms flat against your chest as a soft glow emitted from her own channeled healing energy. Slowly, you were lulled into what felt like a tired pull, something that anchored you toward an exhaustive state.
“Sleep,” she whispered, her voice like warm honey dripping smooth against your weary ears, “you will feel better again, and… I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Unable to fight the pull any longer, your eyes fluttered shut, feeling both in danger and yet comforted beyond your wildest comprehension at the same time.
~~~
Shoko ensured that you were secure and concealed within her nest, perfectly camouflaged and warm before she took a step back. She raised her fingernail that she scratched you with to her face, locking onto the remnants of your blood, feeling a surge of guilt sweep through her body.
You were just a human so why did she prolong your visit?
Sighing, she lept up and fluttered her wings with heavy fluttering beats, cruising herself back to the home island that wasn’t too far from the cliff she resided on. Surely, there must have been something edible that grew within the lush greenery that made up the land. Fire wasn’t an option, so perhaps something else would have to work for now. She tried to remember what humans liked, what they seemed to eat in contrast to her raw diet, understanding that you couldn’t eat the same way that she did, as frustrating as it was.
Slowly, she collected what looked to be suitable vegetation, but then she heard the landing whooshing flutter of the only two other beings that occupied the isles, scrambling slightly to hide the foraged contents under a cluster of fern nearby, pushing it back with her feet.
The first one landed first; a silvery bird-like man just like her with a sapphire sheen that reflected through his otherwise frosted feathers, regarding her with those stark crystal blue eyes that she had always found just a little bit unsettling. The other one followed suit, landing with a little less grace than his friend; the rolling gusts of wind generated from such heavy waves that the contents were revealed either way. She watched as he landed to a halt, pushing himself up from his knee to reveal his deep raven form with brooding amethyst eyes that stared right back at her.
“What are you up to?” the contrasting man spoke first in her own language; a complex string of cooing and chirping and whistling alike, his intense blue eyes catching wind of the fruits that gathered near where she stood. “What’s that?” he corrected his question, his voice adopting a playful edge as his curiosity got the better of him.
“It’s…” Shoko began, wondering where to even start.
Before she could continue though, he plucked a fruit from the ground, taking a bite and allowing for his expression to sour at the taste the second he processed it. “Ah,” he coughed, spitting out the contents onto the ground, “you wouldn’t like these, Sho.”
“It’s… not for me, Satoru,” she admitted with an unsure sigh, feeling apprehensive about revealing her findings—about revealing the concept of you.
“Then who is it for?” the darker-feathered man asked, his voice slightly more calculated, maybe even accusing as though sceptical about the company she kept.
“Do you have a new friend, Sho?” Satoru exclaimed with a thrilling buzz in his tone, almost naively so.
“You know we’re the only ones,” the other one replied, silencing his friend’s excitement before turning his sights back to her, “don’t tell me that they’re a…”
“Don’t question it too much Suguru,” Shoko replied, keeping her tone measured. “What I do in my own space isn’t for you to worry about.”
He scoffed a little, eying up the fruits and back to the direction she resided in. “Those pesky things had a wreck a while ago, that ship that littered itself into the seas. Surely you didn’t…?”
“A human?” Satoru interjected, seeming both curious and cautious at the same time. “But they…”
“Destroy,” Suguru completed his sentence for him, “they destroy, Satoru,” he then turned his sights back to Shoko, watching as she contemplated her next actions, his tone coming off as a little accusatory, but in his mind, rightfully so. “You know what those… things are capable of, right Shoko? Do you remember what they did to our home? I just can’t bring myself to understand… why you are looking after one… of… those?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured, “I just feel like there’s something different about this one.”
“Well,” Suguru sighed, “I’ll trust you to be careful,” he said as he gathered the fruits from the ground and gave them back to her one by one, “as long as you promise to return them at some point. You and I both know that they can’t stay here forever. They don’t belong here, after all.”
With that note, he lifted himself off the ground and flew away while Satoru lingered around for a moment longer, his playful demeanour fading away into something more sentimental, something more serious. “You have the best judgment out of all of us, you know? Whatever your decision is, even if Suguru doesn’t like it, will be the correct one, right?”
“Right,” she nodded, watching as he flew away too, leaving her with conflicted emotions as the weight of their words continued to linger in the air, inviting an almost suppressing aura of doubt. However, she too, soon returned to where she was prior, reuniting with you.
She emptied her findings in front of you, letting the contents spill over your lap as you slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep away from your eyes. Shoko stifled a snort as she watched you find something you were familiar with, digging into it with deep-rooted hunger, finding that she quite enjoyed your reactions.
Humans were something of an anomaly to her, maybe even to Satoru. She understood why Suguru was cautious, especially after the incident, but there was something different about you. She was sure of it.
Maybe it was the odd mannerisms or the way you spoke and seemed to fret over every little thing, how you annoyedly plucked out branches and twigs that poked through your clothes, how… perfectly content you were to cosy up to her when she got closer to you.
She watched on with curious intensity as you wiped your mouth, ready to speak.
“Can you… take me somewhere… more familiar?” you asked, trying to find the right words. “When I get better? I can figure my own way back… probably.”
The question however caught her off guard, remembering Suguru’s words about needing to return you. But that much was only when you were better, right? That could be reasonable enough of a condition. Her eyes flicked over to the crusted maroon that clung to the edge of her clawed fingers, adopting a deep, dark idea.
Loneliness had invited selfishness to manifest and now you were here. Ah, what a troubling thought, but… if it meant spending time with you for longer, then…
“Yes,” she replied with a sickly sweet tone, feigning a promise, “when you are ‘better’, then I can help you reconnect.”
Knowing that deep down, she wasn’t about to let you go back.
Not if she could help it.
this is part 3 of lilac’s bite sized yandere nightmares
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po-cky-o-o · 2 years ago
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I present a very unnecessary analysis of the scaralumi talk before the big fight
First of all I love the way they both can see through each other. I think often times we overlook how good Lumi is at understanding the feelings of others - mostly because Paimon does most of the talking - but here we can see just how good she is at reading him since (I believe) this is the most she has ever talked in a quest. Scara believes he knows what he wants, but Lumi knows what he needs.
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I like how he says this because it is true. We have been proven time and time again how Lumi cares about others, which is why despite her being enemies with Scara she can’t help but empathize with his situation.
But she’s not stupid, there’s where it comes the “almost” part. She is saying that as a way to try and stop his plans, not simply because she is worried about him and he knows that, but he still tries to convince her about him being, even though for a moment it almost sounds like he’s trying to convince himself.
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Scara then moves on to say how his life has been meaningless up to this point, as if becoming a god is his only purpose and without it he is nothing. So he tried to understand why would Lumi bother going through such “futile errands” of protecting everyone.
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But once again Lumi sees through him asking why then would he keep the connection with Haypasia (and consequently with Lumi herself). Even with his answer she is not convinced so he just deflects with his arrogance.
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Not to mention how everything he says about Haypasia can also be applied to Lumine, since they both share a connection with him and saw his past. I find it interesting how he was able to sense Lumi and immediately entered her consciousness to observe her
Once again Lumi is able to figure him out and say what she needed to tick him off. He says how bad she is at sewing discord, but he still goes ahead and attacks the fatui calling it an “expression of affection”like he did for Haypasia, putting the two girls on the same wavelength
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argentconflagration · 2 years ago
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when the subject of "why do people believe things that are seriously wrong and harmful" comes up it feels like you kinda hear one of two perspectives:
"oh, that's easy! it's because they're fundamentally Bad people who want to hurt others and choose their beliefs to justify that! :) hope this helps"
or
"they just don't have access to the same information we do. look at this person who was raised in a cult! don't you feel sorry for her?"
and like, yes, fine, some people were in fact raised in cults, but what i wish people would understand is that the bulk of it is just normal human flaws, like:
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel smart and cool and like they've figured everything out (you also do this)
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel like their emotions are justified and grounded in reality, and that the people they want to hurt deserve to be hurt (you also do this)
they form conclusions before they've processed all the relevant information, and cling to that first impression even when new info comes to light (you also do this)
they pick up beliefs from the people around them because they want to be liked and fit in, not because the beliefs are good or true (you also do this)
they come up with reasons that the stuff that benefits them (and the people they like and identify with) is actually overwhelmingly best for everyone and obviously the right thing to do (you also do this)
they pay more attention to stuff that supports what they already believe and avoid looking in places that might show them otherwise (you also do this)
they listen to people who talk like 'one of them' and ignore others (you also do this)
they come up with reasons to dismiss people with conflicting viewpoints as obviously in bad faith or ignorant or a shill or evil (you also do this)
they fail to take their own beliefs seriously sometimes, and take their beliefs way too seriously other times, in a selective way that lets them do the things they already wanted to do (you also do this)
the very ways they construct the ideas of 'knowledge' and 'wisdom' and 'belief' and 'understanding' are biased so that what they don't want to believe comes under lots of scrutiny and what they do want to believe receives less (you also do this)
you, dear reader, are presumably right about everything and were correct to die on every hill you've ever died on, but the difference between you and someone who's wrong about important stuff doesn't look like "well they're inherently evil and i'm not", it probably looks like a combination of:
natural environment (they would have been exposed to different information than you regardless of their choices)
being in the right place at the right time (your particular profile of flaws and virtues happened to be what was needed to lead you to the right conclusions, they had the opposite experience)
random luck (you doubled down on what felt right to believe but wasn't, but it turned out to be inconsequential, or even right for different reasons, while they doubled down on what turned out to be a horrible mistake distorting their entire worldview)
you do less of the things in the previous list, and over time the difference between you and them adds up
and, look, i also do these things. the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met do these things. if you meet someone who never does any of these things, i dunno, give them a fucking medal or something.
i know you're doing your best. we're all doing our best.
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smileysuh · 1 year ago
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night terror
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🌙 staring. Seungcheol x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. As much as you love being a mother, you think some of your favorite moments might just happen when the kids are asleep. Seeing Seungcheol with Hana and Daehyun is one of the great joys of your life, but you have needs too, and after a long day, you really need something to help you relax.
tw/cw. unprotected sex, bathroom sex, mirror sex, dirty talk, praise, fingering, blow job, deep throating, mentions of masochism, loud sex, your kid hearing you scream during sex and then your husband lies to her and says it's night terrors when really it's him - he's the night terror, etc… I pet names: (hers) princess.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 4.2k
🍭 aus. rich businessman cheol, husband cheol, established relationship, father cheol, stay at home mom reader, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. i need a rich husband sugar daddy and i need him now
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There had been a time in his life when Seungcheol had thought he might never settle down. As a busy businessman, he’d never been able to comprehend how it would be possible to factor a wife - let alone children - into his schedule. But then, one summer afternoon, he’d met you, and all his fears had vanished.
His previous relationships had been marred with accusations about his lack of making time, and he’d been ready to repeat the same issues with you. However, the conflicts never came. You were a strong, capable, young woman, and as the first months of you flew by blissfully, Seungcheol had realized you accepted him for him, work and all. If anything, distance made the heart grow fonder, and when you were together, you both gave each other your complete attention, nurturing the relationship in a way that he’d never had a relationship truly nurtured before. 
Six months in, he’d asked you to marry him, and it was the most confident he’d ever been with a decision in his entire life. When you’d gotten pregnant, only a short while after your honeymoon, the two of you had sat down to discuss what being parents would look like. You’d both been committed to giving your children the best lives possible going forward, and - knowing he’d be around less than a dad with a different, less demanding job - Seungcheol had asked if you’d be interested in the stay-at-home life.
It’s been five years since then, and there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where Seungcheol has questioned his decisions with you. He comes home at erratic times in the evening, but he always finds you excelling at motherhood. 
He truly doesn’t know how you do it and make it look easy. You have such a gentle way with not only the kids, but him as well, and he almost feels as if you were meant for this role. You’re a caregiver, through and through, and Seungcheol thinks he must be one of the luckiest men in the whole world to be able to fulfill the provider counterpart. 
It’s a Monday evening, and he’s managed to get off work early. When he arrives at your large family home, he follows the sound of giggles to the kitchen. This room has been the heart of your house ever since the kids were old enough to follow you around it like ducklings, watching you cook with eyes full of wonder - he thinks they must get that trait from him at least. 
He leans against the wall while he watches you, taking in the vision in front of him. It’s mac and cheese night, a long-held tradition in your household, wherein you help the kids make the base, and allow them to choose their favorite toppings to go in the ramekins before oven baking. 
The elder of your children, Daehyun, is more adventurous, and it looks like you’re helping him saute a pan of mushrooms on the gas stove top. Even while dealing with the hot element, and a little boy grabbing at your apron while teetering on his cooking step stool, you’re giving just as much attention to your youngest. 
Hana is the apple of Seungcheol’s eye, and - bless her heart - she’s a cheese fiend. There must be five different kinds of cheese on the counter, and you’re softly talking to her while she struggles to grate a small block of what looks to be gruyere. 
“You’re doing so well,” you tell your daughter. “Give mommy just a moment and she’ll help you grate the last of it. I don’t want you hurting your hands.”
“Okay, mama,” Hana nods, setting the cheese down before leaning over to watch you stir the pan. 
“Do you want to try a mushroom, sweetheart?” you ask, picking one out of the pan to taste for yourself. “They’re very good.”
Hana’s always been better at trying new things if you or Seungcheol go first, and the businessman finds himself smiling while he watches the soft moment.
“Okay,” Hana says, but she doesn’t sound too sure. 
“It’s a little hot, so I’m going to put it on the cutting board to cool before either of you taste it, okay?” You lift a few mushrooms from the sizzling pan, setting them down and gently blowing away the steam. “Let me know if these are good, Daehyun, or if you’d like me to cook them a little longer to make them more crispy.”
The three of you are so wrapped up in your own little world, and Seungcheol supposes the soft classical music in the background had drowned out the sound of his footfalls as he’d approached. He decides it’s a good time to make his presence known, so he moves into the room, coming to stand on the other side of the island countertop.
“Look at you three chefs,” he muses.
“Daddy!” His children scream, with Daehyun jumping from his stool to run around the table and hug Seungcheol around the waist. Hana, meanwhile, still needs help getting down from the steps, and Seungcheol watches you lift the small child to set her on the floor so she can join her brother on the other side of Seungcheol. 
“It smells good,” Seungcheol tells you, smiling at you as he rubs the backs of his children.
“We were just trying mushrooms!” Daehyun announces, releasing Seungcheol in favour of running to you to grab the food before dashing back to his dad, holding his hand out. 
Seungcheol accepts the mushroom, and he tries it, letting out an embellished groan. “These are great,” he says, which prompts both children to try them too.
“Perfect!” Daehyun agrees.
Seungcheol watches you turn off the heat under the pan, moving to finish grating the gruyere for Hana. “How was work, my love?” you ask.
“Fine,” he sighs, not wanting to think about his job in a moment like this. “I couldn’t miss mac and cheese night. How were things around here?”
“Hana, why don’t you tell daddy about preschool?” you suggest, moving a pan of preprepared pasta bake ramekins on a tray to the island counter. 
“We did art!” Hana says proudly. “Made something for you.”
“Really?” Seungcheol loves receiving drawings from his kids. “Want to go grab it for me?”
You’re two steps ahead of him, even while cooking, and you reach behind yourself to grab a piece of paper from the fridge. You hold it out to Seungcheol, and he takes it from you, smiling widely as he looks at the image.
“It’s our family,” Hana explains, although, with the dad character holding a briefcase and dressed in a suit, Seungcheol thinks it would be impossible for him to think it’s anything else.
“I love it, you’re going to be an artist one day,” he tells her, reaching down to pick her up, tucking her by his hip. “And how about you, Daehyun? How was soccer practice?”
“Mommy picked me up after school and she had veggie snacks which weren’t that good but I ate them anyways, and we did practice and I scored goals-” Seungcheol loves how his son rambles, and he listens patiently while Daehyun describes finding a coin on the field that he can add to his collection of treasures he’s picked up throughout his life.
By the time the story is finished, you’ve already put the mac and cheese in the oven, and you’re standing with your palms on the counter, watching Seungcheol interact with his children. There’s a gentle smile on your face, your eyes lit up with affection.
Seungcheol is drawn to you, and he walks around the island, Hana still tucked on his hip. “Hi,” he says softly, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “How was mommy’s day?”
“Good,” you respond. “Hana and I went to a greenery after preschool to get some new plants for the garden.”
“Oh yeah?” Seungcheol looks down at his daughter. “Did you two find anything nice?”
“Mommy got me a bouquet of tulips,” Hana confirms. 
“We also got a few more lavender bushes and some rosemary,” you add. “She played with bubbles while I planted them, and then we went to get Daehyun for soccer. A few of his friends came over with their moms after that to play in the pool, and then we started mac and cheese.”
“Sounds like a full day,” Seungcheol nods. He’s constantly in awe of how you juggle both kids, house maintenance, a social life, and cooking. 
“The kids are tuckered out,” you say, reaching out to brush some hair from Hana’s face. “They were thinking we could watch some Disney movies after dinner before bed.”
“Well we can’t say no to that, can we,” Seungcheol smiles. 
“No, we can’t,” you agree. “Daehyun, the mac and cheese is in the oven, should we start on a salad?”
“Do we have to?” he asks.
“Greens are an important part of a healthy diet,” you remind the little boy who’s always had problems with his veggies. “How about you help me choose what type of salad to make?”
“Can we have the one with lots of cheese?” Hana questions.
Seungcheol loves his little cheese fiend, he loves his family, and most of all, he loves that he gets to share it with you every day.
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After being filled up with hot mac and cheese, the kids had fallen asleep less than thirty minutes into their movie. Seungcheol had carried them to bed, double checking to make sure they were tucked in all right, and now, he heads into your shared room, closing the soundproof doors behind him.
“I’ve said it already, but I’ll say it again, dinner was great,” he tells you, as he heads to his closet to begin removing his button-up shirt. “Even the salad was good, I haven’t seen Daehyun eat that many greens in months.” 
“He’s warming up to them,” you smile, coming up behind your husband to give him a hug from behind, your cheek pressed to his back. “We were all happy you were there to eat with us. I know work has been busy, so I wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”
“And miss mac and cheese night?” Seungcheol scoffs. “Not even Jeon Wonwoo himself could keep me from that.”
You laugh at the mention of his business partner. “He can join next time, if he has the time. Hana misses Uncle Woo.”
“That's because he dotes on her.”
“As if you don’t.” 
“We all do, she’s a special kid, that one.”
“They both are,” you muse. “Daehyun downplayed it, but he was doing really well in practice. Coach says he has some real talent. Apparently he can’t shut up about the way that you take him to games twice a month in box seats. I think it’s making a huge difference.”
“That’s good to hear,” Seungcheol smiles. 
“Anyways, enough about our days,” you sigh. “Do you need a shower?”
“Why? Do I smell?” Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.
“No, I was just thinking I might have one, and maybe you’d like to join me.”
Seungcheol groans. “Well, now I definitely need a shower.”
“Perfect.” You pull away from his back, reaching down to take off your shirt as you head to the bathroom. “I’ll see you in there, daddy.” 
As much as you love being a mother, you think some of your favorite moments might just happen when the kids are asleep. Seeing Seungcheol with Hana and Daehyun is one of the great joys of your life, but you have needs too, and after a long day, you really need something to help you relax. 
You turn the shower on, and as the spa-like bathroom fills with steam, you undo your pants. You’re slipping out of the fabric when Seungcheol joins you. His large form gently presses against your back, and his lips find your shoulder. His hands smooth down your arms softly, and he presses his crotch against your bum, showing you how turned on he is.
“You look so beautiful today,” he tells you.
“And you look as sexy as ever,” you respond, smiling while leaning back against his bare chest. 
“I do, do I?” You feel him grin where he’s kissing your neck, and you rest the back of your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of him. “Guess this means we’re a match made in heaven.”
You love when he sweet-talks you like this, and when his hand slips down your abdomen to cup your pussy, you let out a groan of pleasure. “Should we go in the shower?”
“The shower can wait,” Seungcheol states, “and these panties have to come off.”
“You got it, daddy.” You hook your fingers in the waistband, pushing them down so his eager fingers can touch you directly. The contact has you shivering, and he begins to circle your clit. 
“How did I ever get so lucky with you?” he asks, teasing you while he grinds against your ass.
“I ask myself the same question every day,” you confess, whimpering when one of his large fingers slips into your core. 
“I think I’m the lucky one,” Seungcheol tells you, sucking on the sweet spot on your throat that always makes your entire body react. 
“Agree to disagree,” you whisper, consumed by the feeling of his fingers as he adds a second one, working you open. 
“It’s torture spending a whole day without being able to touch you,” your husband confesses, as he applies pressure to your clit with his palm.
You know exactly how he feels, and although you’re leaning into his touch, allowing him to be the one exploring your form, you know your patience will run dry soon. You need his cock, more than you’ve ever needed anything in your life.
It’s tantalizing, having his large bulge rubbing against your ass while he finger fucks you closer and closer to a release that’s always much too easy for him to earn. 
You turn your head to the side, reaching behind yourself to tangle your fingers in his hair, bringing his lips to your own. 
After all these years, Seungcheol knows your body inside and out. There are no words that need to be spoken as he gets you closer and closer to your high, only whimpered moans and groans of pleasure as you remain lip-locked.
Your first orgasm overtakes you, and you gasp into the kiss, wiggling your hips for more stimulation while he helps you through it. His free hand is on your waist, and he aids in your motions, which only adds to your pleasure.
“Cheol-” you whisper.
“I know, darling, I know,” he presses his forehead to yours, finishing you off before removing his hand from between your legs. He quickly sucks your juices off his digits before working on your bra, which falls off to join your clothes on the floor.
You turn in his embrace, palms flat to his chest so you can push him back until his bum hits the edge of the sink. “I wanna suck you off,” you tell him, feeling confident and as needy as ever.
“Fuck, I love it when you use that sweet, pretty mouth of yours to say the dirtiest things,” Seungcheol groans, large hands moving down to work on his belt while you sink to your knees on the tiled floor.
“You had a long day,” you tell him, knowing every day is long for the successful businessman, “I just want to make you feel good.”
“You always make me feel good,” he smiles, pushing his pants down so his cock can be released. 
Wasting no time, you wrap your hand around the base, taking one last look up at him to muse, “Well, I want to make you feel great,” before your mouth finds his large cock. 
The sounds he makes during sex have always been a huge turn-on for you, and the groans he lets out as you suckle on the head of his cock are like angels singing. You close your eyes, leaning into the act of pleasuring the man you love most in the world. 
His gentle hand finds your head, and he helps you blow him, taking more of him into your mouth while your hand pumps the base.
“You’re so good,” he whispers. “So fucking good for me.” 
You groan at the praise, and it makes his hips twitch, cock slipping into the back of your throat.
When you’d first been together, you hadn’t been used to the sensation, but after all this time together, you’ve become accustomed to it. In fact, you even kind of enjoy it when he throat-fuckes you, in some odd masochistic kind of way.
He’s slow with it, and you know he’s watching you carefully for any signs that he should let up on you. With you focused on your breathing and relaxing your throat, he never has to actually pull away. You listen to his sounds of pleasure grow, his grip tightening in your hair. 
“Fuck,” he groans, gently pulling you off his cock. “I need you.” 
He helps you to your feet and in one motion, he lifts you up and sets you on the sink, slotting between your legs. Your hands find his strong shoulders while he guides his cock to your pussy. His lip is caught between his teeth in concentration, and your heart swells with love for your husband.
The head of his cock slips into you and you both groan. 
“You’re wound up, darling,” he muses as he sinks a few more inches into you, test thrusting so your wet juices can cover his length and make it easier for you both. “Are you sure you don’t need some more of my fingers?”
“No,” you hold his strong shoulders tighter, “I just need you.”
“Yeah?” he leans in, pressing his lips to yours while his hands find your hips, one slipping to gently cup the small of your back. “Are you still my needy princess?”
It had been the first true pet name that stuck when you’d started dating, and even after all these years, it still makes a tingle run up your spine.
“Yes, Cheol, you feel so good-”
His thrusts have his cock sinking fully inside of you now, and you can’t help the way your eyes roll into the back of your head. Your body is alight with pleasure, and you truly can't help the sounds that are escaping past your lips.
You try your best to be quiet with Cheol most nights, but your kids are asleep. On top of that,  there’s a soundproof bedroom door, a bathroom door and a shower running to muffle your noises, so you figure now is as good a time as any to let loose a little.
“God, I love it when you get loud for me,” Seungcheol groans, leaning forward to pepper your throat in kisses while you lace your fingers through his soft hair. 
Each thrust has his cock hitting a spot deep inside of you, and you can feel tension building in your abdomen, a sign of another orgasm on its way.
“You look so perfect like this,” your husband muses. Suddenly, he’s pulling away from you. “I want you to see.” 
You moan in annoyance as he pulls out of you, dragging you off the countertop so he can turn you around, facing the steamed mirror. You bend over the sink, letting out a whine when he slips inside of you again, leaning forward with his chest pressed to your back while he wipes a hand along the reflective surface. 
You can see yourself now, and you look completely fucked out. 
Cheol grins behind you, and you love how the reflection showcases how much larger than you he is. With your smaller form in front of him, his shoulders are visible on either side of your own, and his height makes your pussy clench around him.
“Told you it was sexy,” Seungcheol muses, leaning forward again to press his lips to your shoulder. “I want you to watch as I make you cum.”
You’re not entirely sure you’ll be able to keep your eyes open, but you nod all the same, eager to please him as he begins to fuck you again. Each thrust has your hips pressing to the marble sink top, and it hurts a little, but the pain is pleasure.
You groan, panting as you watch Seungcheol fuck you from behind through the mirror.
He truly is a vision. each slap of his hips against your ass has your breasts bouncing too-
Steam is quickly covering the mirror again, and you reach out a shaky hand to wipe it away, intent on doing your best to follow through with his command.
“Cheol,” you whimper, his thrusts getting faster, harder- 
“That’s it,” he groans. “Let me hear you.” 
Your sounds are getting louder and louder as the tension in your stomach builds- and when Seungcheol licks two fingers, slipping his hand down your front to play with your clit, the noises of pleasure become uncontrollable. 
“Gonna cum for me, princess?” he asks, breath hot against your throat.
Everything feels so intense, the steam in the room adding to your heightened senses, and you nod quickly. You can’t find it in yourself to speak, you can only grab the sink as an anchor while your husband works you to the edge-
“I’m there too,” Seungcheol assures you. “Cum with me.” 
The sound that escapes you as your pussy clamps down on his cock is almost inhuman, and you struggle to keep your eyes open, gazing at your own fucked out expression through the mirror while Seungcheol rides out your highs.
His head is thrown back, throat all gorgeous and on display- 
You love him a stupid amount, and it only makes your core throb harder around his cock while he fills you up with his cum. 
It doesn’t help that his fingers are still on your clit, and you twitch from oversensitivity, letting out another loud cry. Seungcheol’s eyes open, as if he hadn’t even realized what he was still doing, too lost in the feeling of your throbbing cunt- he’s quick to pull his hand away, resting it on your hip as his thrusts begin to slow.
“Fuck,” he groans, “that was good.” 
His lips find your shoulder, and you both do your best to slow your heavy breathing. 
“Now I really need that shower,” you joke, earning a chuckle from the man still inside of you.
“Let's do it,” he says, giving you one last kiss before he pulls out of you.
He grabs your hand, helping you to the shower-
“Shit, did you hear that?” His head turns towards the closed door.
“I didn’t hear anything,” you tell him.
“No, listen, there it is again-” Seungcheol lets go of your hand, and he quickly grabs his robe, wrapping it around his naked body. He opens the bathroom door. “Shit, we woke up one of the kids. I’ll be right back.”
He exits the bathroom, shutting you inside behind him as he tightens his robe, rushing to the large soundproof bedroom doors. When he opens them, he finds Hana standing there, her stuffed teddy in her arms.
“Is Mama okay?” she asks, looking up at him like she’s on the verge of tears.
“Yes, sweetheart,” Seungcheol is quick to sink to his knees, wrapping his daughter in a hug. “You know she gets night terrors sometimes. It was just a bad dream, but I got a shower started for her and she should be okay.”
“Are you sure?” Hana asks, wiping at her eyes.
Seungcheol releases her, taking a look at her face and helping her clear the tear tracks with his thumb. “Yes, love, mama is fine. Here, let me get you back to bed.”
He picks up his daughter, carrying her back to her room. She settles in alright, and with a quick kiss to her forehead and a goodnight, Seungcheol leaves her be. He’s in a rush to get back to you, and as he enters your room and ensuite bathroom, shrugging off his robe, he finds you in the shower.
“I swear that kid has super hearing,” he muses softly, joining you under the water spray and pulling your body tight to his own.
“Maybe our soundproof bedroom door isn’t as soundproof as we thought,” you suggest. “Did you tell her it was night terrors again?”
“That seems to be the company line, doesn’t it?” Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle. He feels a little bad that the lie has gone on for two years already, but what else is he supposed to say to a kid who just heard her mother screaming?
“Hey, Night Terror,” you tug him closer, “you look lost in thought. What’s on your mind?”
Seungcheol sighs. “Just that maybe we need to invest in some good earplugs for the kids.”
You laugh, snuggling close to his chest while he wraps you in his arms. “Darling, I love the way you think.”
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! sometimes we all just need a short, sweet, established relationship sugar daddy/ A+ actual dad Cheol in our lives, you know?
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🔮 preview.  “Fuck the house, I want you here. Now.” You don’t waste another second, grabbing his face and crashing your lips against his. His own hands find your hips, and within moments he’s pulling you onto his lap, growling into the kiss. It’s clear from the way that he’s touching you that he has no objections to fucking in the hot tub.
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, exhibitionism, fucking in a hot tub, dry/wet humping, multiple reader orgasms, sensory stuff with the hot tub and heat, breast worship, fingering, cheol using her like a fleshlight, manhandling, some dirty talk, praise, breeding kink, finger sucking,. I petnames. (hers) princess.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.9k I teaser wc. 300
🌙 staring.Cheol x afab!Reader
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bonus
“Uncle Woo!” Hana lights up as one of her favorite people enters the house, and Wonwoo returns her smile, dropping onto one knee to embrace her.
“Hey, Hana,” he grins.
“They told us we were sleeping over with you but I almost didn’t believe it!” Hana raves.
“I got the guest room all set up for you two,” Wonwoo says, standing up while holding your daughter to his chest. His gaze shifts to Daehyun. “Uncle Mingyu and Uncle Vernon are going to pop by for a bit too, they’ve been missing watching soccer with you. I’ve got the game from earlier recorded, you could have some boys' time while I play princesses with Hana.”
God. You love Wonwoo. He’s the best uncle you could have asked for concerning your kids. It’s clear Seungcheol thinks the same, his grip tightening around you while his smile widens. You all watch Hana joyfully rant about playing princesses, and Daehyun is even smiling at the thought of spending time with his favorite uncles.
“Do you two have any special plans for tonight?” Wonwoo asks when there’s a lull in the conversation. 
It’s your anniversary tonight, and you definitely have special plans, but none you can discuss in front of the kids.
“Mostly just taking her out for dinner,” Seungcheol says, which is only half a lie as he turns to gaze at you with hearts in his eyes.
“Nothing too extreme,” you agree, patting his chest. 
Wonwoo gives you a look that tells you he sees through your bluff, but your kids are none the wiser, and - as it is with your ‘night terrors’ - at the end of the day, a few white lies to protect their innocence doesn’t hurt anybody.
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punkshort · 8 months ago
Text
i know who you are | 4. the others
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Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Chapter Summary: Winter begins to wrap its arms around Jackson, filling the town with snow and a nasty flu. Joel takes you to meet Ben and Lisa, and you finally discover more about your past.
Chapter Warnings: language, angst, amnesia, sad!joel, pining, sexual tension, slow burn, jealousy
WC: 9K
Series Masterlist
You looked happy.
Ever since you began working at the infirmary, you seemed happier. Like you were grateful to have a purpose. A way to contribute. To give back to the community that supported you.
You smiled more and you didn't shy away from him as much as you used to and it gave Joel hope. Every time you saw him and greeted him with a smile or said goodbye with a squeeze of his shoulder, it made his heart flutter. It's been weeks. Months, technically. But he was making some progress.
It was the first snowfall of the season and it put you in an even better mood than usual. Your face was pressed up against the window as he tended to the fire behind you, and you watched as the big, fluffy flakes of snow fell from the sky, coating Jackson in a perfect blanket of pure white.
"I didn't get much snow where I'm from," you told him over your shoulder. He knew that already, but he humored you.
"That so?"
"Mhmm. When I was a kid, though, we got hit with this freak storm. No one knew what to do. No one owned shovels or snow blowers or any of that, so we were all stuck inside our houses until the storm ended and everything melted," you said, turning away from the window so you could curl up on the couch, then pausing for a moment before tilting your head to the side. "Did I tell you this already?"
Yes, he thought, but he shook his head, eager for you to continue. He just loved hearing you talk, no matter what you said. Besides, if you were expected to rebuild your relationship, sharing your past would naturally be part of that, so he encouraged you to tell stories, even if he's heard them before.
"So, what happened?" he asked, putting the poker back in the stand and getting up with a groan, his knees cracking a bit before he settled in on the other end of the couch.
"Well, the power went out," you said, and he could hear the excitement in your voice, delighted to be telling him something you thought he didn't already know, and it made his heart swell. "So we didn't have any heat or any way to cook our food. We set up camping tents in the middle of our living room and slept in there with, like, five blankets each. And we lived off pop-tarts and granola bars and peanut butter sandwiches for two days til the power came back on."
"Two days?" Joel repeated, and you nodded.
"Yeah, but it was fun. As a kid, you know? I'm sure my parents were freaking out but me and Matty were excited. We played board games and ate by candlelight and told ghost stories," you said wistfully, your eyes looking miles away. "We talked about that for years," you finished softly, and Joel smiled.
"I didn't get much snow where I'm from, either," he told you, and your eyes met his again.
"Texas, right?" and he nodded. "Did you live there your whole life?"
Something deep inside him sparked with a mix of nerves and excitement. It felt like you were meeting all over again, and while it was under less than ideal circumstances, he couldn't help but feel those butterflies you feel when you first meet someone new.
"Yep, my whole life. Tommy, too, except for when he was in the army."
"Were you in the army?" you asked, but he quickly shook his head.
"Nah. Wasn't my scene. Besides, I had Sarah."
"Oh, right," you said, feeling stupid for asking. You dropped your attention to your hands, which were twisted in your lap, as you thought about your next question.
"How old was she?" you asked quietly, still looking down and avoiding his gaze, but you heard him take a deep breath.
"She was twelve when she died," he told you, his words hanging heavy in the air and he could see the conflict in your face as you tried to figure out a way to learn more about him without reopening old wounds. "It's okay, I don't mind talkin' 'bout her."
"Did we used to talk about her?" you asked him curiously, finally looking up to meet his gaze.
He shrugged. "Sometimes. But not at first. Still hurt too much back then, y'know?"
"Yeah," you breathed, your mind now drifting to thoughts of your own family. Were you together when they died? Did you see it? If so, was it some sort of sick twist of luck that you now couldn't remember?
"What was your favorite thing to do together?" you asked, watching as his eyes found a fixed point on the wall while he considered your question.
"My favorite thing was hiking. Hers was goin' to the movies or the mall, most likely," he said with a soft chuckle. "I didn't mind, though. I was just happy she still wanted to be seen with her old man at that age. Makes me wonder if she felt bad for me or somethin'."
You furrowed your brow, confused. "Why would she feel bad for you?"
He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "I didn't date much. Had a few poker buddies but I mostly spent my time with Tommy. Just worked so hard back then that I was too tired to do much else."
"And you were a contractor?" you asked, trying to remember the small pieces of information you picked up over the last two months. He nodded.
"Yeah, me and Tommy had our own business. That was a lifetime ago. Can't imagine doin' that kind of work now, not with my back," he said with a smile.
Joel's eyes flicked to the window over your shoulder, watching as the snow continued to come down, the window panes growing foggy in the corners. "Looks like we ain't goin' anywhere for a while," he said, changing the subject. You followed his gaze and nodded.
"What about Ellie? Is she okay back there?"
"Yeah, she'll be alright. She could make it up to the house if she got too cold," he assured you.
So, you were essentially snowed in. All alone.
You could feel his eyes on you as you watched the fire and you wondered if he was thinking about an alternate reality. One where you didn't have an accident. Where you remembered everything. One where you loved him the way he so obviously loved you, and what you might be doing differently in that very moment. You had a feeling your hunch was correct because he stretched his arm across the back of the couch and subtly inched a little closer towards you, the worn cushions dipping from his weight and causing your leg to bob.
Your body stiffened and your heart suddenly felt like it was being crushed in your throat. He was so patient, you had to give him credit. It couldn't be easy for him, and although you could finally admit to yourself that you found him attractive, you still didn't think you trusted him enough to take things any further. Not yet. Not when you still had so many questions. Your eyes drifted up to meet his and as you expected, he was watching you closely. Carefully. Trying to read you the same way you were trying to read him. The problem was, every time he looked at you that way, with his eyes all soft and filled with adoration, you could only think about what he was hiding. What did he lie about? And why was he so hesitant for you to meet Ben and Lisa?
Joel leaned in a fraction and his fingers tightened their hold on the back of the couch. He wanted to kiss you. He's wanted to kiss you ever since that day in the field right before that clicker ruined the moment. And with the soft glow from the fire and the snow falling silently outside, it felt like the perfect moment. He was terrified of making things worse after he finally felt like he made some progress, but it was killing him. He missed having you so fucking much, sometimes it felt like it actually caused him physical pain. Like his chest would explode one day.
He swallowed nervously and inched a little closer and you panicked. Just as he was about to say something, you cut him off.
"Do you wanna play a board game?"
He raised his eyebrows in surprise and you gave him a nervous smile.
"Sure," he replied, watching as you jumped off the couch to look through the games stacked on the bookcase. He groaned inwardly and rubbed his chin when you bent over and he had to force himself to look away before his body reacted, praying you didn't pick Twister.
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It took two days but the snow finally stopped. Ellie did eventually make her way to the house by the second day, simply because she was bored, so you helped Joel make a vegetable soup while Ellie set up the Monopoly board in the living room. You didn't have all the pieces, but you had enough, and what you didn't have you supplemented with buttons.
You didn't realize it; too caught up in cooking and the joy it used to bring you, but you and Joel worked together seamlessly in the kitchen. He chopped up zucchini while you diced onion and watched the pot on the stove that was cooking up noodles, slipping past each other to get to the sink and the cupboards and it all just felt so fucking normal that it made his chest ache. He wanted to draw your attention to it. He wanted to take you by the shoulders and say See? See how good we are together? But he didn't. He bit his tongue and bided his time until you came to that conclusion on your own, just like the first time.
But the first time was different. At least back then, you showed him affection. You kissed him and held him and shared your body with him and although you didn't want much more, not at first, eventually you did. And those moments in his bed were enough to hold him over until you opened your eyes and saw what was right in front of you.
He was selfish. He knew it was wrong to want you like that right now, but he wanted all of you, not just physically. He yearned to know what was going on behind your eyes, what you were thinking and feeling. What you thought of him. But if you would maybe just let yourself fall asleep in his arms on the couch while you read in front of the fire, or let him kiss you, just once, then maybe you would see it again. Feel it again.
"What the hell does a purple button mean?" you asked with a giggle, holding up the smooth, round plastic between your fingers.
"It's a hotel, duh!" Ellie said, grinning and rolling her eyes.
"Wait, why am I goin' to jail?"
"You rolled doubles three times in a row!" you told him, and you and Ellie bent over laughing at the confused expression on his face.
He made a disgruntled noise and moved his token to the corner of the board as he watched you and Ellie giggling and wiping tears from your eyes and fuck, it was nice. In another world, he would have made some joke about you being the one in handcuffs and maybe later he would have followed through with it and tied your wrists to the headboard, burying his face between your thighs until you couldn't take it anymore.
But instead, he just watched two of the people he loved most in the world have fun, the orange glow from the fire flickering over your smiling faces while the snow finally came to a stop outside.
Ellie had trekked back to the garage once the game was over. It was late, you looked tired, but he still suggested putting a movie on. He wasn't ready to let you go. He hated going to bed all alone. You seemed to consider his offer for a moment before you shook your head and yawned, and although he knew that would likely be your answer, he still felt his heart sink.
He walked you to your bedroom and as he was about to say goodnight, hoping to minimize the hurt by making it quick, you did something that surprised him. You pulled him into a hug, standing on your tiptoes, your chin resting on his shoulder with your arms wrapped around his neck, body pressed firmly against his and just as quickly as it happened, you pulled away. Joel was so stunned he wasn't sure he hugged you back, even though he stood cemented to the floor well after you went to bed, replaying the hug over and over, all he could remember was how he felt. And he went to bed that night with renewed hope blooming in his chest. Maybe you were finally coming around.
So the next morning when you asked him out of the blue if you could visit Ben and Lisa once the streets cleared of snow, he had a hard time finding a reason to say no. He should have known you wouldn't let it go, but he did hold out hope that maybe you moved on from the idea since it had been a few weeks when you last mentioned them.
He agreed, of course, not wanting to ruin the delicate foundation of your relationship. Besides, he already decided he would go with you and make sure they didn't tell you anything you weren't ready to hear.
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The snow had melted enough where the road was visible again, but the snowbanks still piled high around the buildings and houses and you felt strangely nervous as you followed Joel down the street. He had finally agreed to take you to meet Ben and Lisa, and while you were grateful he didn't have the reaction he had the first time you mentioned them, you still wondered what caused that outburst.
You tried to convince yourself that maybe he was just tired and cranky that day, having just gotten back from patrol for the fourth day in a row. But something still felt... off.
"Wow, when Ellie said they lived on the outskirts, she wasn't kidding," you said, realizing you were reaching an edge of Jackson you had yet to explore.
"Yeah, they tend to keep to themselves," he replied without further explanation. He didn't seem agitated, but he definitely wasn't happy about going to see them. He seemed more quiet and subdued than usual.
Finally, you arrived at a quaint looking cottage tucked back from the road a ways. Like Ellie had said, it was small, but it looked cozy. You could see the smoke pluming from the chimney and you couldn't wait to warm up again.
There was no porch. Just a small roof over the front door and a folding chair that looked like it had seen better days. He knocked firmly on the door and after a moment, you heard light shuffling on the other side.
The door cracked open and you were greeted by a short woman around your age with dull, brown hair and bright green eyes. She saw Joel first and, like most people in town, she hesitated. But then she noticed you next to him and her expression changed. A wide smile stretched across her face and she said your name softly, then held her arms out for a hug.
"It's so good to see you," she said in your ear, giving you a tight squeeze before turning around and ushering you both inside. "Come in, come in, it's freezing out there. Ben! You'll never guess who's here!"
You both stepped inside and as you were slipping off your outerwear, you glanced around the small space. It was tight, but it was filled with warmth. The living room had two small, mismatched loveseats on either side of the stone fireplace. Two large bookshelves that were filled with so many books that the shelves were sagging stood on either side of the fire, and curiously you didn't notice a television anywhere in the room.
You heard a man's deep voice behind you say your name and you jumped in surprise. Turning around, you were pulled into another hug by who you could only assume was Ben. He was tall - taller than Joel - and you wondered how on earth such a small house could fit such a large man. He stepped away, his dark eyes glittering with his hands still on your shoulders, taking in your appearance as if you haven't seen them in years.
Maybe you haven't.
You were so focused on absorbing every little detail about the house and its residents that you didn't notice Joel's body stiffen next to you, his eyes glued to Ben's hands. And while Lisa seemed to have the same reaction to Joel that everyone else in town did, Ben, on the other hand, did not seem phased by his presence. In fact, he appeared pleased to see him. Once he dropped his hands from your shoulders, he stretched out a lanky arm and shook Joel's hand, giving him a kind smile which Joel had a hard time returning.
"What a wonderful surprise. Come, let's sit. Do you want coffee or tea?" Ben asked, his eyes drifting between you and Joel. You both shook your heads and Ben smiled warmly at you once again. Even though the living room was just a few feet away from the front door, Ben still rested his hand on your shoulder and guided you to one of the loveseats as if you might lose your way, only dropping his hold on you when he sat down across from you on the other one.
Joel eased himself down on the couch beside you, the space so small that he had no choice but to rest his leg against yours, and Lisa went to join Ben, the crackling fire between both loveseats warming you up right away.
"We heard you had an accident. How are you feeling?" Lisa asked, her voice so small and gentle compared to Ben's booming baritone.
"Better, thanks. But it's kind of why I'm here," you said, glancing over at Joel nervously, but he was staring silently at Ben, who still seemed unaffected.
Lisa tilted her head to the side and wrapped a hand around Ben's forearm, leaning into him a bit as she got more comfortable on the couch. You noticed for the first time a basket on the floor next to her feet filled with different colored yarn and half knitted projects tucked inside. "Oh?" she asked, then it seemed to dawn on her. "Oh! Is it... is it true? Do you really have memory loss?"
When you nodded, you noticed the flicker of pity across both their faces as they exchanged a somber look.
"I can only remember my life before the outbreak. My mom, dad and brother. I don't even remember what happened or how they died or how I managed to survive," you began, feeling yourself growing a little emotional. Joel must have sensed it in your tone because he squeezed your knee reassuringly, and when you glanced over at him, he had finally torn his eyes away from Ben to look at you with concern.
"It's been hard," Joel said, finally speaking up, addressing Ben and Lisa. "Lots of confusion, lots of missin' pieces. But she kept a journal. Turns out, she wrote 'bout you two, so that's why we're here," he finished, narrowing his eyes a bit at them.
"You wrote about us? How sweet," Ben said cheerily, running a hand through his dark blonde curls.
"Yes, but-"
"It wasn't anythin' that detailed," Joel said quickly, and you frowned at him. He sat back into the sofa and glanced over at you. "Right?"
"Yeah," you said slowly, dragging your eyes away from Joel and back to your hosts. "Just that we went fishing and it felt like old times," you continued, and they both smiled at the memory. The only sound in the room was the fire next to you, the wood popping loudly under the flames as you weighed your next question. "So I was hoping you might help tell me about myself before we arrived in Jackson. Is that... okay?"
Lisa shifted in her seat, a small smile still twitching at her lips as she gazed up at Ben, waiting for him to reply. He hesitated a moment and you thought you saw his eyes flicker to Joel before responding.
"Of course," Ben said, slapping the tops of his thighs, jostling loose Lisa's grip on his arm. He quickly picked her hand back up and brought her knuckles to his lips for a quick kiss, but your eyes were drawn to the unfamiliar symbol tattooed on the inside of her wrist, only made visible when Ben picked up her arm and her sleeve hung down.
"Can you tell me about when we first met?" you asked, figuring you should start at the beginning.
"Oh, what was it? Six or eight months after the outbreak, yeah?" Ben wondered aloud, looking to Lisa to confirm. She nodded and scratched her neck.
"Sounds about right."
You allowed yourself to feel a glimmer of excitement. There were two people right in front of you that could help fill in the blanks for the first five years after the outbreak, and you couldn't wait to hear more.
"We met in the Atlanta QZ," he began, but you quickly stopped him.
"QZ?"
"Quarantine Zone. All the major cities had 'em. Was meant to keep people safe from infected but the military ran most of 'em into the ground," Joel explained. "Treated people like cattle. Strict curfews. Barely enough rations to survive."
"It was awful," Lisa added solemnly.
"Was I alone?" you asked them, and Ben nodded. "Did I tell you anything about my family? How they died?"
Their eyes shifted to Joel for a moment before looking at one another.
"I thought you had said the infected got your mom on the first day. But your dad and brother..." Ben trailed off, looking down at his hands sadly. "They got caught out after curfew. It happened before we got there. They... were punished."
You frowned a little, looking to Joel to help shed some light on what Ben meant, but he was staring down at his feet.
"Punished?" you squeaked as your heart began to pound faster in your chest.
"Punishment for bein' out after curfew was death," Joel spoke up softly next to you.
You looked at all three of them, your eyes wide in disbelief. "Death? The military were killing people?"
"It was horrible. It's why we escaped," Lisa replied with tears in her eyes.
"Okay, then what?" you pressed, trying not to dwell too long on the thought of your father and brother being murdered by the very people who were supposed to protect them.
"After we escaped?" Ben clarified, and you nodded. He cleared his throat and averted his gaze. "We survived. Did what we had to do."
There it was again. Did what we had to do. The same thing Joel said when you brought up Lisa and Ben the first time.
You waited for him to elaborate but when it became apparent Ben had finished talking, you pushed him further. "Like what? What does that mean?"
"We laid low. Found some secluded spots in the wilderness and stuck it out for as long as we could," Lisa said, her eyes casually drifting between the two men. You looked at Joel, who was holding a steady glare at Ben and Lisa, but otherwise he was perfectly silent.
"For five years we just laid low? In the woods? The three of us?" you asked, and they could tell you knew they weren't telling you the whole truth. "What aren't you telling me? Did we do something bad? Did something happen?"
Joel shifted in his seat next to you but you kept your eyes pinned on Lisa and Ben, trying to read the expressions on their faces.
Ben was the first to fold. He dragged his eyes up to meet yours and gave you a half smile and shrug. "Yeah. I mean, everyone did bad things one time or another. It's impossible not to-"
"Like what?" you demanded. You could feel your anger building up now. "I'm not a child. Just tell me."
Ben sighed and looked at Joel once again, and this time you had enough.
"Why do you keep looking at him?"
Ben's eyes snapped back to you and he forced out a small chuckle, trying in vain to diffuse the tension in the room.
"You're our guests, so I'm looking at you both."
You weren't going to argue with him when it was clear he was looking at Joel for direction on what to say. It all made sense now. No wonder Joel didn't fight you on coming to visit them. He had planned all along to control the conversation and keep you in the dark and something inside you snapped.
Standing up from the couch suddenly, you looked down at Ben and Lisa, anger brimming in your eyes.
"Thanks," you spat, heading towards the front door. "Sorry to bother you both."
"It's no bother," Lisa said, her voice wavering as she followed you to the door. "Really. Stop by any time, it was nice to see you."
You scoffed and resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you shoved your boots and coat back on, doing your best to finish before Joel so you could get a head start back home.
Flinging open the door without another word, you took a deep breath and stormed down the street, the chilly winter air filling your lungs, trying to cool your anger from the inside out. But then you heard Joel's heavy footsteps crunching in the snow, hurrying to catch up to you, and your rage peaked again.
"You alright?" he asked when he found his place back by your side.
"No, I'm not alright," you seethed, staring straight ahead with your arms wrapped around your middle. "What was that back there?"
"What'dya mean?"
You skidded to a stop and glared at him, his cheeks pink from the cold and his chest rising and falling a little quicker than usual.
"You know what I mean. I'm not stupid, Joel. What don't you want me to know?"
He stared at you, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out how to respond.
"I'm not-"
"Don't bullshit me!" you yelled, and when you remembered you were in the middle of the street, you lowered your voice. "They were clearly scared of you. You didn't want them to tell me something. It was so obvious, Joel! I hit my head but I'm not fucking blind."
"I didn't ask them to say or not say anythin'," he said truthfully.
You stared at one another, both watching as your exhale mixed together, little clouds swirling in between you before rising above your heads and disappearing, each waiting for the other to break first.
"Maybe I should move out," you finally said, voice filled with sadness. His face fell instantly.
"Why?"
"You know why. I don't think I can trust you. How can I, when I can't even get a simple answer out of you?" What did he lie about?
If you had stabbed him in the chest, it would have hurt less. His gaze fell to the ground and he felt his throat begin to constrict. He had to do something. He couldn't lose you. So he told you a half truth.
"You and Ben used to be a thing," he said, and your jaw dropped in surprise.
"What?"
He clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes. "Before you came to Jackson. You and him were a couple."
You looked away from him, taking a minute to wrap your mind around what he just told you. You supposed it would make sense. It would explain why Joel was so weird about bringing you to see them. Maybe you misread the tension in the room. Maybe the tension was about something else entirely.
"That's why you were acting so strange? That's why you were staring him down?" you asked. His answer was still difficult to believe. It explained Joel's behavior, but it didn't explain what bad things you had done and why nobody seemed willing to tell you what they were.
He shrugged and rubbed his hands together. "Can we talk about this at home? I'm freezin'," he said.
The walk afforded you more time to think now that you had this new piece of the puzzle. Ben did seem like your type: he was handsome and kind, but if you and Ben were together in the past, where did that leave Lisa? They were clearly an item now. Wouldn't that have made for a strange relationship between the three of you? Perhaps that's why you didn't see them often.
Joel let you stew in silence for the walk home, fucking praying what he told you would be enough to keep you from following through with your threat. Why did it feel like every time he made some progress with you, something happened that fucked everything up?
Maybe he should have just let them tell you the whole truth.
No, that would have been bad. You didn't trust him enough yet. You said it yourself. And if you were willing to move out over something like this, you certainly would never speak to him again if you knew the whole story.
He needed to earn your trust first but it was so fucking hard when you wouldn't let him in. When you found out the truth the first time, you were already months into a relationship with him. You were already sleeping together, and while it didn't evolve into anything more until later, it still helped build your trust in him when he finally told you the truth.
He didn't have that with you now, and for the first time he began to doubt his ability to make you fall in love with him again.
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You huddled in front of the fire after the long walk home, the two of you remaining silent the entire way. Joel was in the kitchen, most likely avoiding you and your questions while you warmed up. You weren't even going to bother bringing up the topic again, but Joel surprised you by doing it himself.
"I'm sorry. 'Bout earlier," he said from the entryway. You turned from the fire to look at him. He looked worried. His eyes were wide and his brow was knit while his hands fidgeted at his sides.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" you asked, and he sighed.
"Dunno. Guess I was hopin' you'd let it go or change your mind," he said, ticking his jaw to the side.
"What would it have even mattered? I don't remember him, I don't remember what we had together. I certainly don't have feelings for him," you told him, sitting down on the couch and tucking your legs underneath you.
He looked around the room nervously as you waited for an answer that wasn't coming.
You sighed and rubbed your eyes. "If this is going to work, you need to be honest with me-"
"I was scared, alright?" he said abruptly. You watched him hang his head between his shoulders and take a deep breath before collapsing into the arm chair next to the couch. "I was scared you'd maybe remember him or..." he trailed off, finding it difficult to put into words what he was thinking. And although it wasn't the whole truth, it still was the truth. He was afraid this version of you would want someone like Ben and not like him.
He was afraid of losing you.
You seemed to understand because you didn't ask him to finish his thought. Instead, since he was opening up, you asked him something else that was bothering you.
"What did I do?"
He looked at you curiously, not following at first until you continued.
"Ben said I did bad things. We all did bad things to survive. What did he mean?"
Joel swallowed and thought about his answer for a moment. You sighed, growing impatient.
"You can't keep the truth from me forever. I'll find out one day, just tell -"
"You killed people," he told you, and you completely lost your train of thought. You searched his face as all of the air rushed out of your lungs, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air.
"I killed people?" you repeated, your voice barely a whisper, and he nodded slowly. You felt the tears begin to well up in your eyes but you blinked them away. What kind of monster did you become?
"Innocent people?"
"Depends on who you ask," he said right away, almost as if he expected that question.
"What does that mean?"
He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully as he stared into the fire. "I told you. Everyone did what they had to do in order to survive. I know it's hard for you to understand what it was like, but there were a lot of bad people out there. A lot of bad fuckin' people. The military was outta control. There were revolutions and raiders and slavers." He paused and sniffed a bit, continuing to stare into the flames while you hung on his every word. "When I say you killed people... it ain't black and white. I killed people, too. Alotta people. When the whole goddamn world ends and all you got left is one or two people you care 'bout, you'll do whatever you gotta do to protect 'em. D'you understand?" he asked, finally dragging his eyes up to look at you.
You blinked, thinking about what he said, his words rolling around your head like pinballs.
"I think so," you said quietly.
He nodded, still pinning you with his stare. "We all made decisions. We made choices based on what we knew at the time and we did our best."
You nodded, your voice wavering a bit when you asked "Am I a bad person, Joel?"
His eyebrows pinched together and he leaned forward in his chair, wanting to reach out to you, comfort you and pull you into his arms, but he refrained. "No, baby. You ain't a bad person," he told you softly.
And you weren't sure why, but you believed him.
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The streets were quiet as you slowly made your way to the infirmary. You didn't start your shift until late in the morning and you didn't feel like joining Ellie at the dining hall for breakfast, so you stayed home, only getting out of bed when you heard Joel leave for patrol. He had already warned you the night before that he would be back later than usual due to the storm. Trails would likely be difficult to pass and nobody could predict if there would be damage at any of the outposts, but it was highly likely.
You didn't move out like you had threatened to. You didn't even know what you were thinking when you said that. Where would you have gone? The garage with Ellie? You didn't know anybody else. Not really. But even if you had, you saw the look in Joel's face when you said those words and even though you were so fucking angry with him, you still felt terrible for causing him pain.
On one hand, it seemed like he was just looking out for you, but on the other, his actions often came off as selfish. You had every right to know your past and what you did, and you were growing sick of Joel treating you like a child. Like you were too fragile to understand.
But at least you got it out of him. Even though you had to take extreme measures, you finally got him to tell you something truthful, and that was a positive step forward.
Lost in your thoughts, you weren't even paying attention when a man's voice called your name from across the street. You looked up after the third try and were surprised to find Ben waving to you from the tailor. You raised your hand in greeting and made your way over to the building.
"Hey," you said a little sheepishly, "about the other day, I'm sorry for how I acted-"
He shook his head and gave you a reassuring smile. "No need to apologize. All of this has to be so confusing for you. We understand."
You dropped your gaze to the frozen ground and dug your boot into the snow. "Thank you, I appreciate that. It's very frustrating, actually. I'm just trying to learn about myself and what's happened in the past ten years and I guess I took out my anger on you guys."
He waved you off and leaned against the doorframe of the tailor. "Don't worry about it. We were just happy to see you again."
And even though Ben was absolving you of your guilt, you somehow felt even worse. He was being so nice and you hardly felt like you deserved it. "Joel explained it to me, by the way. After we left your house he told me about us," you said, waving your finger back and forth between you.
"Ah," Ben said with a knowing smile as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I wondered as much. It was a very long time ago but Joel can be..." Ben trailed off and scratched his chin, "he can be a little protective, I suppose. He never really understood the nature our relationship."
You tilted your head to the side. "What do you mean?"
"It was just casual. He always thought there was something more," Ben said, meeting your eye. "But I promise you, there wasn't. At the time, we were just lonely and scared and looking for comfort. Neither of us was looking for anything more than that."
You nodded thoughtfully. "He did say we were a couple," you said, and Ben chuckled softly.
"I wouldn't even call it that. Truly. There were no hurt feelings. We just never had a connection past... y'know," he said with a shrug. You felt yourself flush a bit at the words he left unspoken and looked away. "But I'm glad he told you."
"Yeah, me too. I know his heart is in the right place, I just wish he would have told me about us and all the shit we did before I came to see you. Probably would have made the visit a little more pleasant," you said with a laugh, but Ben's face fell.
"He told you about what we did?" he asked, his tone suddenly serious. You sighed and nodded.
"Yeah, he told me I've killed people. It's been really hard to wrap my head around, but I'm trying to come to terms with it. He explained the world we live in now is not like the one I remember."
Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise and unfolded his arms. "Wow. I'm kind of shocked he told you about us and the Fireflies. That must have been really hard for you both."
You frowned and searched his face. "Fireflies?"
His body stiffened and his face paled when he realized his mistake. "Yeah. He told you about the Fireflies, right?"
You shook your head. "What are the Fireflies?"
"Shit," he muttered, pushing himself off the wall abruptly and clearing his throat. "I should get back to work. Just please forget I said anything, okay?"
"Ben, wait," you tried, but he disappeared back inside the tailor, leaving you standing in front of the door while more questions piled up.
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There seemed to be a bad flu being spread around town because the infirmary was busier than usual. You were grateful for the distraction, especially after your conversation with Ben. You had spent the better part of the afternoon rushing from exam room to exam room, cleaning up after each patient as quickly as you could so Nick could continue treating the revolving door of people coughing and sneezing in the waiting room. Nick had recommended you wear a bandana around your mouth and nose to hopefully keep you healthy, but you had a feeling it would just be a matter of time before you caught the same bug as everyone else. Still, you kept the bandana tied around your neck as you worked diligently. What you didn't expect, however, was the bit of anonymity the mask afforded you.
You were cleaning up exam room six when you heard a woman's familiar voice in the room across the hall. Nick had left the door cracked open after he ushered her inside, and she apparently had another woman in there waiting with her as you started to pick up on hushed pieces of their conversation.
You didn't intend to eavesdrop, but curiosity got the best of you when you tried to place her voice, and when you realized it was Angie, your hands froze and your body stilled, doing your best to not make any noise so you could listen.
"... going down there almost every night... matter of time... him."
"But what about... freak out."
You frowned, inching closer to the door as you tried to fill in the gaps in their conversation.
Then you heard Angie say your name clear as day and your eyebrows shot up. You pressed your back against the wall and held your breath.
"She doesn't even like him. That relationship is a ticking time bomb."
You silently gasped when you realized they were most certainly talking about you and Joel.
It wasn't even true. You liked Joel. You were attracted to Joel. You were even starting to trust Joel a little more, although you definitely had plans to ask him about the Fireflies. But you were still getting to know him and it was taking time. Was this girl talking about trying to steal Joel away from you? The idea made your stomach turn and anger flare deep in your chest.
You shocked yourself with your reaction. Steal Joel away? Since when did you begin to feel some sense of ownership over him? Were you jealous?
You heard Nick's voice leaving an exam room a few doors down and you quickly made yourself look busy. He sighed tiredly in the hallway as he flipped through some papers before pushing open the door to Angie's room. You were changing the bedding on the mattress when you heard Nick call your name and you quickly dropped the sheets to cross the hall.
When your eyes locked with Angie's, giving her a hardened stare, you swore you saw a flicker of fear before she forced a fake smile and coughed into her fist while her friend, one you recognized from the bathroom at the Tipsy Bison, nervously shifted her weight and looked away. You felt a sick sense of satisfaction when it became clear to the two girls that you had heard everything they said, and you were grateful you had your mask on so they couldn't see the corners of your mouth twitch.
"Would you mind grabbing a bag of cough drops and a jar of menthol from the supply cabinet?" Nick asked, completely oblivious to the shift in the air.
"Sure thing," you told him, turning on your heel to leave and allowing yourself to finally smile.
Joel might scare the rest of the town, but you sure as hell scared the shit out of Angie.
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Your shift at the infirmary went longer than expected. By the time you arrived home, you were exhausted and the sun was almost setting. So far you weren't feeling sick, but from what you had overheard all day, the symptoms came on quick, so you had already decided to call it an early night and get some rest. When you swung open the front door and found Joel hunched over the kitchen table, your plans went flying out the window.
He looked like he was on death's door. You had never seen him look so run down and pale. He didn't even open his eyes to look at you, he just kept them shut while he rubbed his temples and tried to stifle a cough, his backpack abandoned at his feet.
"Joel?" you called, toeing off your boots and hurrying over to him. You crouched down on the floor and pressed the back of your hand against his forehead. "You're burning up."
He groaned and cracked open one eye. "Feel like shit. Dunno what happened."
"There's a bad virus spreading around, the infirmary was slammed today," you said, pushing yourself up onto your aching feet to get him a glass of water. "Drink this and I'll heat you up some soup," you told him before heading towards the stove.
"You don't gotta-"
"Drink," you said firmly, cutting him off. He winced before picking up the glass and forcing down the cool liquid. Once you got the gas going on the stove, you grabbed an empty bowl and shoved your boots back on. "I'll be right back," you told him. He sat up a little straighter in his chair, about to ask where you were going but you already disappeared through the front door, returning seconds later with the bowl filled with snow.
"Lean back," you instructed, placing the bowl on the table. He did as he was told and closed his eyes, the lights from the kitchen ceiling making his head ache but when you pressed a handful of packed snow against his forehead, he groaned with relief.
"Oh shit, that feels good," he whispered as you tried to ignore the twinge between your legs at his low tone. He released a shaky breath and you watched as the snow began to melt, little trails of water dripping from his hair and down his scruffy cheeks. When it was nearly melted, you took your hand away and dumped the remnants in the sink, grabbing a towel and drying your hands on the way back. You pinched his stubbly chin delicately in your fingers and tipped his head towards you while slowly and gently wiping away the water from his face. When you finished, your eyes found his already boring into you and you felt a tingle shoot down your spine.
"Better?"
His gaze softened as he continued to stare up at you, searching your face quietly, making your heart begin to beat faster in your chest. You swallowed nervously and forced yourself to look away, and it was then he finally realized you had asked him a question.
"Yes," he murmured, "thank you."
You dragged your eyes back to his and gave him a small smile. "More?"
He didn't trust himself to speak. He just slowly nodded and watched with heavy lidded eyes as you scooped up another handful of snow. With your free hand, you slid your fingers behind his neck and through his hair, cupping the back of his head in your small hand before pressing the snow gently against his forehead once again. And even though he wanted to keep looking at you, he couldn't stop his eyes from fluttering shut at the cooling sensation, earning you another deep groan from his throat and causing your breath to stutter.
He heard it and opened his eyes.
You stared at each other, lips parted as the air began to thicken with tension. His eyes flickered over your face, noticing the way your pupils appeared bigger as you gazed down at him. He took a risk and slowly brought his hand up to rest on your side, watching you carefully for any sign that he should stop. He pressed his fingertips lightly into your hip, the fabric of your shirt bunching up slightly from the pressure.
You dropped your eyes to his hand and blinked rapidly, then opened your mouth to speak when you heard sizzling at the stove. You whipped your head around just as his soup began to boil over the pot.
"Shit!" you yelped, dropping the half melted snow onto the towel and racing over to the range. You twisted the knob off and put the pot on one of the unused burners and the liquid immediately simmered back down. "Sorry," you said, refusing to look at him as you started to gather a bowl and spoon, embarrassment burning your cheeks.
"Don't be," he replied, still leaning back in his chair in the same position you left him. He watched you fumble nervously in the kitchen and he had to suppress a smile.
Maybe he still had a chance, after all.
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Joel's temperature was a little high but nothing too concerning, so you pushed the fluids and he ate all of his soup and it helped put your mind at ease. You really didn't want to have to ask for ibuprofen unless it was absolutely necessary, especially considering how the same virus was hitting almost every house at the same time. You made sure to check on Ellie from her doorway, not wanting to risk her catching anything since she appeared to be fine, before helping Joel up to bed.
Once you followed him into the room and he turned on the light next to his bed, you realized you hadn't actually ever entered his bedroom before. Sure, you've walked past it when the door was open and glanced inside, but you never really looked. As he gathered some fresh pajamas and began to unbutton his flannel, you turned your back to him to give him some privacy and examined his bookshelf. Your eyes drifted over the titles on the spines of a handful of books, most of which you hadn't heard of before noticing a framed photograph sharing a shelf with his books. It was faded and a little torn, but you could still make out their faces. It was Joel - a far younger version of Joel - with his arm around a beautiful little girl with dark hair and eyes and a stunning smile. You felt your throat tighten when you realized who it was, and if you had any doubt, Joel's voice piped up behind you.
"That's Sarah."
You heard him shuffling his bedding around so you figured he was dressed.
"She's beautiful, Joel," you said, walking over to his side of the bed and popping the thermometer under his tongue one more time. "It's wonderful that you were able to find a picture of her. I wish I had some pictures of my family," you said sadly, watching the hands of the clock on top of his bookshelf tick, counting down the seconds until you could check the thermometer. "I would have loved for you to at least see them. I think you would have gotten along with my brother really well. Maybe too well," you added with a soft laugh, not realizing he was silently hanging on your every word as you continued to stare at the clock. "He was always looking out for me. Always protecting me, trying to shield me and it drove me nuts when I was younger, but as time went on, I understood it a bit more."
You pulled the thermometer out and checked the number. "Still the same," you told him, resting it on his nightstand.
"How much time?" he asked, and you gave him a confused look. "How much time did it take 'til you started to understand?" he clarified, and you realized what he was really asking.
"I don't know," you replied honestly, sitting on the edge of his bed with a sigh. "But I'm starting to... understand," you said, giving him a sideways glance. You really wanted to ask him about the Fireflies but seeing how sick he was, you decided to bring it up another time. His hand slipped out from underneath the covers and gently squeezed your knee.
"That's good," he said softly before furrowing his brow and turning his head to cough loudly into his pillow. You winced at how bad it sounded and rubbed his upper back. When the coughing fit passed, you handed him his water and he took a grateful sip.
"Do you need anything else before I go to bed?"
"Could you stay here?" he found himself asking before he could even think. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as you struggled to answer. "Just 'til I fall asleep?"
"Oh," you replied, looking awkwardly around his rather sparse room. "Sure, let me just go wash up," you said, standing up from his bed. You were dead on your feet from your shift at work and you knew the next day wouldn't be any better, but you felt bad saying no, so you changed your clothes and grabbed one of the books Joel had found for you before dragging the chair from the corner of his room to the side of his bed.
"You can stretch out over there," he told you, pointing weakly to the other side of the bed before coughing into his closed fist. "I won't bite."
You smiled as you settled into the chair. "I'm alright, thanks," you said, opening your book and leaning back, trying to get comfortable. After a few minutes of reading, you looked up just to find him still watching you. You laughed and said "you need to get some rest if you want to kick this thing," then he grinned and finally closed his eyes.
You may not have been in bed with him, but you were close enough to help him relax and for the first time in months, he fell fast asleep within minutes.
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satxnsupreme666 · 29 days ago
Text
Torn apart, bound together: Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x fem!reader 
Masterlist
Summary: You met Agatha when she arrived at Westview looking for the source of power, she got closed to you at first with the idea of only getting to Wanda as you seemed to be close to the scarlet witch, what Agatha had not waited for, was that the more she passed time with you, the more her feelings became real, she had fallen for you, even harder than you had done for her, but when Wanda´s hex was destroyed, Agatha absorbed your powers, awful things were said, you were left alone with no one left and with you heart completely broken.
3 years later, when Agatha is released from Wanda´s spell, you were released at the same time, not knowing what had happened during those years and thinking that only some days have passed, or weeks, you find yourself alone one more time, with the images and memories of what had happened, fresh as if it had only happened some days ago, Agatha finds you and wants to fix things, however, now powerless and with the Salem seven behind her, she feels conflicted whether to fix everything or risk everything and lose you again.
Rio had met you many years ago, even before you and Agatha met, you were not aware at the time,  you were almost unconscious, but when she had seen your eyes, she became captivated by you, she broke the rules for you, and even if you would never knew who she was, she was happy she had not taken you with her, she watched you from afar, always watching over you, but never daring to break the rules again and go near you, now having you in front of her, she wants to protect you and Agatha, so she helps you to understand why Agatha is the way she is, as well as helping Agatha to understand your pain.
Will the three of you get to understand each other´s feelings in order to heal from the past? Will the three of you be ready to face your feelings and understand what love is really about?
Warnings: Angst, a lot of angst, mentions of a near death experience, mentions of dysfunctional family, stubbornness, mentions of blood, Agatha and you do not know how to properly communicate, I think that´s it.
Word count:  15k+
Author’s notes: Hello, so, I decided to post this that has been in my drafts since two weeks ago, I wanted to wait until all of my old fics were completed uploaded, but I decided to finish writing this and post it, because I didn´t I know if I was going to forget about this idea, so I decided to just wrote it down, I will keep uploading my old fics as well.
I hope all of you like it!
If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️
Tag list: @midnight-lestrange  @eliscannotdance
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。˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩
“Where am I?” Was the first thing that you wondered, looking around you notice that everything around you seemed different, the living room had different appliances, and all of them were unknown to you, you did not even recognize the decoration around the room, it was not to tour liking, you would never have decided on painting the walls of the color they were right now, it was not a color you liked, nothing about this room was familiar.
The curtains completely closed, stopping the sun light from entering to this foreign place, you did not even remember how you had arrived there in the first place, but did you actually remember something? This place was not somewhere you would already visited, how had you arrived here then? Why couldn’t you remember?
The clothes you had were fine though, they were clothes or they had the stile that you would usually wear, but how? You did not even remember actually getting them at the mall, quickly you turned your head to look at the wall to see if there was a clock hanging in there, but there was not, your phone maybe?
Searching in your pockets you realized there was nothing, where was your phone? Where were your old things? Your usual clothes?
You did not even know what hour of the day was!
So, you quickly walked towards the windows and harshly opened the curtains, the light of the sun hit you straight in the face and you had to bring your hand to your eyes in order to cover the bright light that made you shut your eyes.
After blinking several times, and after about 5 minutes, your eyes got used to the bright light and slowly lowered your hand, you were greeted by the scenery of what had been Eastview, the street had some cars parked in front of some of the houses in front of this house you were in.
Everything seemed to have changed, the houses, the street even the trees! You were about to turn yourself around to go outside and take a look, but you noticed that the fabric of the curtain had gotten stuck with something that was on your wrist, looking down to see what it was, you saw that it was a purple bracelet, and that was when you remembered everything.
It had been weeks ago, or that was what you thought at least, because it felt like only maybe some weeks had passed, or maybe even just days! How wrong you were.
You remembered what had actually happened, the woman whom you had fallen in love with, had lied to you, but it was not only that, she had betrayed you, in the worst way possible, you did not have your magic, she had taken it from you.
Absorbing your power so easily and tricked you, she made you believe she loved you, the woman whom you had told your worst fears, your insecurities, the woman you had shared a house for the past months, she made you believe you could trust in her, that you could actually trust in someone again, she received you with open arms, showed you how love felt, she had told you she wanted to be with you after everything ceased, after the town would finally be free, she had sounded so honest about “wanting to leave this town and start together, just the two of you” how could you have been so naive? She was a master in deception for sure, making someone fall so easily for her, had you been the only one? No, it could not be, she told you one time when the two of you were in bed, how many years she had lived, and as she was so powerful, you were pretty sure you had not been the only one who had been tricked by her, but you surely did not know if that would help you to feel better or even worse, how many other women had fallen for her stupid games?
Had Agatha also made them fall into a false sense of security? Had she smiled at them the same way she had done to you? With her beautiful smile, and that stupid smirk she always had, that damned smirk that made you blush and made you want to cover your face, her white teeth that always were in display when she gave you a big smile telling you “good girl”, or her beautiful baby blue eyes that sometimes seemed to be grey from time to time.
You could not believe how stupid you had been, falling for one of the most powerful witches, thinking that you were so lucky and that she really had truly cared for you, it had been just a dream, a stupid, idiotic beautiful dream.
If Agatha had just fought you to take your powers wouldn’t have been easy for her? Just absorb your magic and leave you there? Why had she enjoyed lying to your face, why had she been so evil to the point she said she loved you and wanted to leave the town with you and start the two of you a new life, far away from the town.
You had to congratulate her, she was an amazing actress, she could easily deceive anyone she wanted, but why you? Were you so easy to fool? So easy to be played? You were a fool, thinking that someone as beautiful and amazing as Agatha would actually love you, c’mon! She took advantage of your loneliness, she noticed of course how you did not have anyone, no one cared for you and so she saw the opportunity to lure you into a false sense of security so that when you were finally so deep in love with her, bam! She would take your magic and toss you aside, as if you were nothing to her, because actually, you were nothing to her, a meaningless, powerless witch.
You wanted to throw the bracelet to the trash, but, thinking back to that time when Agatha had gifted the bracelet to you, you still felt attached to the stupid thing, it had her initials on it.
How could you still feel that way when she had just played you first a fool!?
So, you quickly took it off your wrist and tossed it inside the pocket of your jacket, not wanting to keep feeling ashamed of what you felt.
Shaking your head, you decided to check whose house was the one you were in, nothing seemed familiar, and you really did not remember a lot, vague images of Agatha absorbing your power in her basement, you sobbing in front of her asking how she was capable of being so evil and selfish, her telling you how you could have believed everything she had said, you really wanted to stop remembering that day, it was making you feel ill and angered you how ashamed she had made you felt, you were starting to have a headache, trying to also remember what had happened after that.
You tried really hard to remember what else had happened that you did not notice you had started to pace in circles, what had happened before Agatha has revealed to you her true intentions?
Wanda! You thought about her!
You remembered Agatha had trapped her in her basement, maybe she was still in the town? Maybe the red-haired witch could help you to get your magic back!
Hastily you walked to the exit of the room and saw what appeared to be the principal door, so you walked towards it and opened it, the cold air hit your straight in the face and you shivered a little, the jacket you had was for sure not the best at helping you cover yourself from the cold air, even though the sun was bright and shining the wind felt cold enough to bring another jacket,  but it was not the time for that, if Wanda was still in town, you would asked for her help, after all, you and her became good friends, so maybe she would accept to help you, you could explain that you really did not know about Agatha’s plan and that she had also tricked you.
It sounded like a good plan so when you quickly recognized the street you started to walk faster to where Wanda’s house was located.
“Hey y/n” You heard a woman talking to you, after you could keep on walking you saw her walking towards you, she had a big smile on her face.
“Hello?” You said to her looking at the woman a little bit confused, who was she? Why was she talking to you?
“Were you able to gather the ingredients you needed yesterday to prepare your pumpkin pie? Because if the answer is no, I got an extra pumpkin for you!” What was she talking about? A pumpkin pie? The woman must have seen your confused expression and tilted her bead to look at you waiting for an answer, but since you really didn’t know what to say, she quickly came over to you and touched your forehead.
“Are you alright? You seemed paler, have you already eaten?” It was so confusing you didn’t know which she was or what she was talking about, you wanted to go see Wanda to explain to you what was going on, why the town looked so different, why were you in a strange house, the anxiety started to increase so you decided you give a quick answer.
“Oh yes! Don’t worry, I was just about to pick up the ingredients that I need that I just ordered, but also if you would be so kind, I can go to yours lately for that pumpkin! But right now, I am a little bit late because I felt asleep and just woke up and I don’t want the store to sell my order, alright, see you later!”
Oh god, you were such a bad liar.
Not the time to think about that, you gave the unknown woman a quick smile and turned yourself around to walk faster towards Wanda’s house.
After some minutes, you finally saw the corner end of the street that brought you to the avenue in which Wanda’s house was located, your heart started to beat faster, you could hear the thump of your beating heart in your ears, and when you crossed the corner of the street, you saw the empty space where Wanda’s house was supposed to be’
Shocked, you unconsciously brought your hand to cover your mouth.
Your steps became slower but you couldn’t stop to keep on walking towards the debris of what was left of the house.
You were completely shocked, what had happened? Where was Wanda? Where were the kids? Tommy? Billy? Why was the house completely destroyed?
You didn’t understand anything, and the tears started to form on your eyes, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling, what the hell had happened?
It was so strange, so awful, the house in which you had passed several times playing with the kids, baking pastries with Wanda which you would save some of them for Agatha, the place in which you and Agatha had had meals together with the Maximoff family, the house in which you had also created beautiful memories, the house of Wanda your first real friend, where had all of it gone?
It was wrong, it had to be a mistake, right? Maybe just an illusion, yeah, that had to be, your mind was playing with you, it could not be true, maybe if you closed your eyes, and then you opened them again, you would see the house in perfect conditions and Wanda would be inside preparing something for the kids.
“Y/n?…” That voice, you knew damned well that soft voice, what was she doing here?
You quickly opened your eyes and hastily turned yourself around to the direction where the voice came from.
And right behind you, were the pair of baby blue eyes that you had stared into several times, several times that you had thought were looking at you with pure love.
 You quickly wiped your tears, not wanting for the older witch to see you in that state, you tried so hard to compose yourself and tried not to show her how uneasy you were feeling.
“What did you do to Wanda” You demanded to know, if something happened to the red-haired witch, Agatha was the one to be blamed for.
Agatha was shocked to see you there, standing in front of Wanda’s house, or what it used to be Wanda’s house, when she saw you again she felt her chest tightening, of course now she remembered everything that had happened, a million things she had wanted to say, but nothing came out of her mouth, it was as if suddenly she had forgotten how to speak, the way you seemed to be in so much pain, your face stained with fresh tears, but also she could see your angry expression, the way your jaw tensed when she realized she was the one who called your name.
Agatha would have liked to have a talk with you privately, explain to you what had happened, say that she was sorry, that she wanted to talk to you about the last things that she said to you.
“What?” Was the only thing that came out of her mouth, Agatha could not understand what were you talking about.
Nothing but a simple what came out of her mouth. How could she?
“What do you mean by what? What did you do to Wanda? Where is she?” She did not understand what did you mean and seeing you so angry and only asking about the witch who had trapped her in a fantasy and also had took all of her magic, she did what she was the best at, she got defensive.
“You mean, what she did to me?” She replied back to you with an arrogant expression on her face.
Was she really doing this about her?  You chuckled and sighed deeply. Your hands started to shake out of anger and you were about to say to her to stop playing dumb when you noticed a boy standing next to her, you eyed him with curiosity, he seemed familiar.
“Hi” The dark-haired boy said to you waving his hand in an awkward way, he tried to give you a smile, you were confused, who was this boy and why was he with Agatha?
“So… You know each other?” The teen asked you with a slight chuckle, he could sense the tension.
When he asked you if you knew Agatha, the anger came bubbling inside you.
“She stole my magic!” You said to him exasperated, you went to look back at Agatha, who still had an arrogant expression on her face, you were starting to feel beyond pissed.
“Where.is.Wanda?” You asked her while looking straight into her eyes.
She smirked and you feeling your anger becoming stronger you took a step forward.
“Wait!” You heard the boy saying to you, he held his hands up and placed himself in front of Agatha.
“Move, this doesn’t concern you, she needs to answer my question and give me my magic back” The boy looked at you and then at the debris of the house in front of you and then back at you
“She doesn’t have powers, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know what you are asking about, when I found her, she thought her name was Agnes, right Agatha?”
The boy moved to the right and placed himself next to Agatha, you didn’t understand, why would she have thought that, unless…
“C’mon, don’t let her deceive you boy, she is a really good liar, she must have been acting, playing you for a fool” You said to him in a bitter way, you didn’t dare to look at the woman who was eyeing you carefully.
“No, I swear, she was under a spell, I woke her from that spell, she doesn’t know what has happened in all those 3 years” The boy explained to you and tried to excuse Agatha, but you didn’t understand what 3 years he was talking about so you looked at him with confusion written all over your face.
“What do you mean with all those 3 years? What is going on? I just know this greedy witch took my magic the other day” You said to him with desperation, you didn’t understand what was going on, who was he, why was Wanda’s house destroyed, why were you in a strange and unknown house.
Agatha felt sorry for you, she hated seeing you so distressed but, but at the same time her pride stopped her from getting close to you.
“What do you remember?” The boy asked you gently.
“I don’t know, one-minute Agatha was absorbing my magic, and the next I was in the middle of a house that I didn’t recognize, with clothes that are not mine and surrounded by people I do not even know” You sounded like you wanted to cry, the teen felt bad for you.
“What’s going on?” You asked him feeling completely lost.
“Listen, I don’t know what happened to you, but I think-“he was interrupted before he could finish.
“You were under the same spell I was in” Agatha finished the sentence tilting her head and looking at you with an expression full of what you assumed was pity.
“What?” You asked her while burrowing your brows, it had to be a joke, right? How could something like that be even possible? Being under a spell for three years? Not remembering anything that happened during three years?
The anxiety started to increase within you, what had you been doing then? Didn’t people realize that it was not you? Didn’t they realize there was something wrong with you?
It was just too much, everything was too much, why was this happening? Why had it happened to you?
It was too much to handle, everything that made you happy was gone, the family you had finally thought you had found had vanished, Wanda who had become your best friend, Wanda who had treated you like if you were even a daughter, whom you always went to talk to if you had a misunderstood with Agatha, the boys whom you used to play with and help Wanda to take care of them from time to time, babysit them sometimes with the help of Agatha, Agatha the older witch who had stolen your heart, the one who had made you feel safe, the one you had told every insecurity you had, the one you had opened your heart completely to.
That same witch who had lied to you, who had shattered your heart when she stole your magic, when she told you she actually just needed you to get closer to Wanda, when she had said hurtful things to you, the one who after having taken your magic tossed you to the side of the dark basement and left you there, weak and powerless.
You thought you finally had a family, you finally had someone who truly loved you, and it the end everything came down crashing everything down, so hard and fast that you didn’t even had time to cope with, everything felt so fresh, everything felt as if it had happened just last week! It was too much to process, too hard to understand.
“I can’t do this” You said to them without looking directly at them, you couldn’t do it, it was just a matter of minutes and you would be breaking down, sobbing, you wouldn’t dare to face Agatha, and look at her beautiful blue eyes, knowing very well she had made a fool out of you, so once again, you did what you had promised Agatha not to do again, you were about to isolate yourself, but did it actually matter? She had broken so many promises, so there wouldn’t actually be a big deal for anyone, right? it would not matter anyways.
You started to walk away right to where you have come from, with your eyes glued to the floor not daring to look at the two of them, because you felt ashamed, you could feel Agatha’s eyes on you but you didn’t care, your vision started to become blurry and not wanting them to see you, you quickly walked past them, almost brushing Agatha’s shoulder.
Agatha stood there, not daring to turn around and take a look at you, she felt awfully bad, she knew that you were in that state because of her, it was her fault, you were like that because of her, and her heart ached seeing you like that.
Unconsciously she took her hand to her chin, and even though she had wanted so bad to talk to you and explain everything, she didn’t find the courage to do it.
She knew she had to talk to you before she went onto the witches´ road, she did not want to go until she properly talked to you, she had to do it, at least she had to try, Agatha had to tell you everything, her actions were now feel remorseful, it had not come to her mind what had happened, what she had done to you on that last day in which she confronted the scarlet witch.
But, would you actually believe her if she told you that what she has said and done had been completely because she only wanted to protect you?
Of course, you were not going to believe, who would? She knew the type of fame that she proceeded her, the type of witch she was known for, years of doing the same to many witches, Agatha was aware of what type of witch she was, what she was known for for, but even if her pride always made her act in a different way, she truly did not thought she was going to actually love you, she had really fucked up, and now she did not know how to fix everything for you.
She did not know what to do for the first time in her whole life, during all the hundred years of living, she did not know how to proceed.
Maybe it was the best to just let you go, you could be in danger if she got close to you now, with the Salem seven after her, she could not risk that something could potentially happen to you, not now that she was powerless, and would not be able to protect you, now that she had no ways of actually protect you if something happened.
Would it be worth it to risk losing you again? She had already lost you! But she was conflicted, it was too dangerous.
“Agatha?” The teen called for her, he noticed the tension between you two, of course he knew what Agatha was capable of doing, but even though, the woman right now that was next to him did not seem to be the one he had been passing time with since he arrived looking for her, the woman right now seemed to be vulnerable, lost, a part of her that was so foreign to him, she was not like the woman she pretends to act all the time, a complete different person was in from of him, it was a part of the woman he never thought he could see, he did not even think she was capable of showing something more than just her usual careless self, the woman who treated everyone as if no one actually mattered.
“Should we go after her? Maybe she can come to the road and get her powers back-“before the teen could continue Agatha harshly turned her head to look at him in a dangerous way.
“The road is a death wish, too dangerous” The teen nodded hastily with his eyes wide open, why was she suddenly acting like that? She did not seem to actually care if someone join them to walk down the witches’ road.
“Do not mention the road near her, alright?” The way she looked at the boy made him remember who she was, the witch that so many other witches feared, the woman who would be capable of doing whatever it takes to achieve whatever she wants.
“We still have to look for our coven, we can’t lose any more time, come, pet” She ordered the boy, her usual self-coming back and she started to walk to the other side of the street, the boy looked back to where you had disappeared, he couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart, the way you looked so lost.
He quickly turned back to look at Agatha who was already walking far away, that woman could really disappear, he started to jog in order to reach Agatha, when he got close to her, he sensed again Agatha’s mood, the older witch seemed to be in deep thought and the teen couldn’t help but wonder why the encounter with that girl seemed to affect Agatha that much.
Meanwhile Agatha still was conflicted, she felt the need to go back to you, beg you to forgive her,  she missed being with you, the need she had was immense, she wanted to hold you, god, she had wanted to wipe your tears,  why had she been rude when you asked about Wanda? She could have been softer with you, she could have at least tried to help you to calm down, instead she bad let you go, again, she had let you alone and Agatha couldn’t bare the guilt creeping inside her.
She did not know if she would see you again, but she did not want to risk you now, if something happened to you, Agatha would never forgive herself.
Being close to her right now was dangerous, without power, she would not be able to protect you.
For once in her life, she did not know what to do.
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“Great, we got our coven Agatha!” The black-haired teen commented while the two of them were still inside his car, he parked the car in front of Agatha’s house, the feeling was exciting, he had never been part of one.
Agatha turned to look at him with one her eyebrows raised.
“My coven, you mean” She replied back at him while eyeing him, seriously why was this boy so excited about getting himself killed down the road.
“We have to prepare everything for their arrival Agatha” The older witch saw him getting his little notebook out of his pocket looking for something, not interested in what it was, she turned her head to the window to look at the house that was situated exactly at the end of the street.
She closed her eyes, her mind wandering back to you, her sweet girl.
Now she could remember perfectly the months she had shared her life next to you, at the start Agatha really thought she would not develop any type of feelings towards you, she would do what she always do, which was pretend to care about the people she came in contact with, and then she would just disappear, never seeing them again, usually Agatha would even forget their names, but with you, with you it had been so different.
She didn’t know if she had fallen for you after the first two months, or if it had been the very same first say you crossed paths.
The way your eyes would bright when you watched your favorite movie, the way you would try to hide your laugh when you were in a public space, she had told you that you didn’t need to do that, because your laugh was so beautiful that to her it sounded like music, she loved your smile so much that she really made an effort to make you laugh as much as possible, she loved whenever you used to tell her how much you loved her eyes, how your eyes would lighten up when she brought you flowers, your favorite ones.
You gave her the best months of her life; you made her feel alive! She had been living for centuries, and nothing had made her feel so alive than being with you, you made sure she was happy, you always made sure if she was feeling fine, always eager to please her and made her happy, and what had she done in return?
She had made you cried, she had broken your heart, the one thing she had promised you and herself, never to let you down, never to let you go, and she had already broken one of her promises twice, a few hours ago, she had let you go alone, she was not capable of going back to you and made sure you were alright.
She had fucked up so much, she needed to fix everything for you, you deserved it.
 But would she be able to fix it? What if she messed everything up again?
“Let’s make a stop before” The older witch announced out of nowhere and opened the door of the car, the boy looked up from his notebook and proceeded to get out of the car as well, he did not know where was Agatha going, but decided not to question her, he quickly locked the doors and went after the older woman.
After some minutes of walking, Agatha found herself right in front of your door, she was nervous, she was feeling so many things that were completely foreign to her, she had never felt guilty nor hadn’t had the immense urgency to make sure someone was alright, or even try to fix something she had caused, but there she was, willing to bite her tongue and make sure you would at least listen to her.
The boy behind her saw the way Agatha swallowed several times, looking at the floor and then at the door, he saw how the older witch had risen her hand ready to know on your door and then stopped, she just left her hand on the air and stood like that for several seconds, after some minutes, she finally found the courage to know on your door, and the teen found funny the way Agatha quickly tried to fix the tie around her neck, and had brushed her shoulders as if cleaning the dust of it, it was the first time he saw her that nervous, he couldn’t help but to smirk.
Agatha cleared her throat a couple of times, and after several times of having knocked on your door, she became worried, you were not answering, were you alright? What if you had already seen through the window or the peephole? Should she knock on the door again? Have you heard the knockings? What if you hadn’t? Too many questions were passing through her head, but before Agatha could jump into a conclusion, you finally opened the door slowly.
You were not expecting Agatha to be the one who knocked at your door, so of course you were completely surprised to see her there, with an unreadable expression on her face, you had puffy eyes from crying, your nose was a little bit red due to constant friction of paper against your skin, you tried to wipe completely the tears from your face and quickly cleared your throat.
Agatha quickly composed herself, but looking at you so heartbroken, with your eyes red from crying and your messy hair, she found you to be incredibly beautiful but at the same time made her heart ache, she knew you were in this state because of her.
“I do not have anything else to offer you, if you are looking for some more magic, I don’t have anything, I have nothing for you to take, so I recommend you to leave” You wanted to sound harsh, rude even, but who were you trying to fool? You were destroyed, you had nothing, and still Agatha dared to show herself here in front of you.
The older witch noticed how your eyes started to fill with tears again, and instinctively she took a step forward, her hands quickly went to touch your face, she unconsciously did what she used to do during the time you two passed together all those months ago, she caressed with such a gentle touch your face, unconsciously you leant against her hands, her warm touch made your heart flutter.
But once again, you remembered what she had done.
You hastily took some steps back, missing instantly her warm touch, Agatha retreated her hands in her pockets and her eyes started to fill with tears, one tear fell from her left eye down to her chin, but she quickly wiped it off, not wanting you to see, she took a deep breath, and cleared her throat.
“I’m not here to take anything from you” Agatha replied to you, and you chuckled, of course, you had nothing else to offer her.
“Then what do you want?” You couldn’t stop yourself from sounding so desperate, crossing your arms on your chest, you finally looked at her in the eyes, you were able to see the tears that seemed to be about to fall from her eyes, and even if you were angry, the feeling of wanting to hug her was still there.
“I want to talk to you, about what happened” You had sworn you heard a slight shake in her voice, but as fast as you had noticed, it also disappeared.
You really did not have it in you to keep on fighting, you were never good to actually be able to stay angry at people, no matter what someone could do to you, you were never able to stay mad for so long, and with Agatha, with the woman who made you fall in love with her, who had sworn on her life that she would do anything to protect you, the same woman that later you discovered she had been lying the entire time, even after everything she had done to you, you did not find the hatred to be there in your heart.
Agatha was looking directly at you, she could see in your facial expression, in your eyes that a lot of thought were passing through your mind, you were always so easy to read, she loved that about you, that you were so transparent, that your expression gave away what you were feeling, but today, it seemed as if you were conflicted, in so much pain that in fact she had caused.
“Why? How are you still, acting so, so nonchalant? Do you always do that? Do you always pretend to care about people and then what? You stab them right in the back? Is it funny to you? Is it only about power, Agatha?” The older woman felt as if a wound had been opened again, she had caused this, it was all her fault, that you thought the same way about her as all the other people, she had made you think that she did not actually cared for you.
Now, how would she be able to show you that what had happened, had all been a mistake, she had not been waiting for you to receive all the collateral damage that her own actions had caused, how would she be able to make you trust in her again, she was not even sure if you still had feelings for her.
Of course, you still had feeling for her, it did not feel as if three years had happened.
Before she could speak and answer to you, you took a step forward to her, and her heat started to beat faster.
“Has it really been three years?” You shakily asked, Agatha nodded her head slowly, she could not even believe three years had already passed either.
You did not notice that the two of you were already in the hallway of the main entrance of your house, the teen had already closed the door and had been waiting and had observed the entire interaction between you two, he did not want to intrude, but at the same time he would have liked to help somehow, sadly he did not know what to do. He felt sorry for you, and deep down, he knew that Agatha was not the witch everyone said she was, he was sure there was more about her, that she actually showed.
“Yes, and I swear I don´t have to do with the fact that you were under the same spell, I-“ She cleared her throat before continuing, Agatha was trying too hard not to let the tears fall from her eyes.
“I am sure, that, because I absorbed your powers, at the time, somehow you ended up being linked to me, I am sure, that I made clear to Wanda, that you knew anything about my real intentions, about the plan I had-“ This time, Agatha couldn’t stop herself from letting some tears fall down her face, it was impossible, she did not want to hide herself anymore, but would you believe her?
“I made sure to tell her everything, that you truly did not know about me, that you did not have powers” She said the last part in a whisper, that if you hadn’t paid enough attention, you wouldn’t even had heard.
“I am really sorry, that, that you ended up trapped under the same spell, I am truly sorry for-“Before she could continue, she took a deep breath, her hands were shaking a little, and she looked into your eyes, never closing them as if she wanted to show you that she was telling nothing but the truth.
“I am sorry for everything” She would have liked to tell you that she was sorry for breaking your heart, for having lied to you but if she said out loud what she had done, she knew she would end up crying so hard and would not be able to stop herself, Agatha still had some pride left, and did not want you to see her that way.
If you were honest, you were shocked, you had never seen her this vulnerable, during your time in the Wanda´s hex, she had never cried, never had showed any type of guilty for anything, left alone say sorry to anyone, part of you wanted to believe her, a part of you wanted to completely believe her so that you could throw yourself at Agatha and tell her that you still loved her, but what if she was just lying, what if what she was saying was just part of another plan she had already created?
Before you could continue talking, the three of you heard a howling, it had been a strong one, you could have sworn that the howling had came from right outside one of the nearest windows in the living room, you saw the way Agatha´s eyes widened at how close to your house it had sounded, it scared her, she couldn´t bear the thought of something actually happening to you, she couldn´t risk losing you again.
“What was that?” You said while covering your ears, it had been such a strong sound that made you thought your eras were going to be damaged somehow, you did not understand why Agatha seemed to be scared, you had not seen that expression before, you were so amazed at how much you realized you actually did not know the older witch.
“You can´t stay here, not alone” The blue-eyed woman said to you, she unconsciously brought her hands to rest them on your own hands, she carefully uncovered your ears with your hands in her, and you let her, after placing your own hands to your sides, Agatha carefully caressed your hair with her left hand.
“You are not safe here, with me” Burrowing your eyes, you looked at her with a grimace, what did she mean you were not safe with her?
“I know, I know you do not know why, you do not know what is going on, and I am afraid that this is my fault, again” The way she was blaming herself with such hurt in her voice, it made you to only want to hug her.
“I am in fact the witch you say I am, I am callous, I do not care about anyone but me, I am the best at pretending, lying and betraying, and because of my actions, I have hurt people, people who did not deserve anything that I made them passed through, innocent people, like you, I have said and done awful things, some of them I did not mean them, some of them I did” When you heard the last phrase your breath hitched in your throat, and that did not pass unnoticed to Agatha.
“They are here for me, they want me, only me, and if I stay longer with you, if you stay with me, I would be risking your life” You chuckled bitterly, so it was a goodbye, she came looking for you only to say goodbye to you, you were not sure what was worse, her saying goodbye properly, or the fight in which she said horrible things to you, were those things lie as well, or did she actually mean what she said three years ago? What she had done to you were part of the things she didn´t mean to do? You heart really hoped that was the case.
“Where are you going then?” You asked her not daring to look at her, instead you decided to keep your gaze on the floor, feeling her hair still caressing your hair.
“I cannot tell, is not safe, too risky” You did not know where the sudden anger came from, but you took a step back and Agatha quickly retracted her hands towards herself.
“No, no Agatha, you do have the right, to just, come here, giving me only half explanations, saying you are sorry, only to say goodbye, only to come here and say to me that you are going to leave, I need to know at least Agatha, you do not have the right to break me, then come again to just break me more” The sobs that came from you shattered her heart, she did not want for this encounter to turn this way, but at the same time she did not want to risk losing you again.
Agatha looked up to the ceiling, debating whether to tell you the truth or not, she had already told you so many lies, and she did not want to risk her only chance, you had let her touch you, you had already let her got close to you one more time, so she decided not to fucked her only chance again.
“We are going to walk down the witches’ road” She said in a whisper.
“Do not lie to me Agatha” You said to her burrowing your eyebrows, that was a lie, everyone knew the witches´ road was a myth. Before Agatha could say something to you the boy was quick to intervene.
“She is not lying, we are going to the witches´ road, we are going to walk it, not only the two of us, it is real” He said to you with a hopeful look in his eyes, you were completely confused, you had thought that the road was only myth, you had never thought that could exist, at all, but if it did, was it true it gave the people who got at the end what they wished the most?
“Take me with you” You did not know where that had come from, but instead of looking at Agatha you had said that directly to the boy, he immediately raised his eyebrows, he wasn’t expecting you to said that to him.
“No” Agatha was quickly to say, her eyebrows borrowed fiercely, and placed herself in front of you.
“What do you mean with that? No? Are you the only one who can go? Isn´t it supposed that anyone who´s a witch and anyone who practices magic can enter the road?” You said to her in a challenging tone.
“It is too risky, the road is a death wish” You heard the serious tone in her voice, but why did it matter to her, she had not care about leaving you alone years ago, why was she suddenly so “concerned”.
“C´mon Agatha, now you sound so worried? You do not get to dictate what I can do, it is my decision, I am going with you, if it is true that what you are missing awaits for you then I want to walk it as well, I want my magic back, is the only thing left that was mine”
Agatha could not believe how you did not understand that going to the road was truly a death wish, many witched have tried to pass it, but many of them were not able to reach the end.
She felt so conflicted, she was unsure on what to do, the best for you was to stay at your house, or even leave the town, never hear of her ever again, if she came back from the road, she would look for you again, she would try to fix things with you, in the correct way, but if you went with them to the road, she was not sure she would be able to protect you, without power, she was not sure how would she even could try to look after you if something goes wrong, she knew what you said was true, but it was too dangerous, if something happened to you, she would always blame herself, for not being able to protect you.
“Fine, but you are going to follow the rules, you are not going to leave my side, the road is too dangerous it can be tricky, so, if you promise to stay near me all the time, you can come” Agatha said after some minutes.
You were not sure if it was actually a good idea, but did you really have something else to lose?
Agatha´s gaze lingered on you for a while, and she sighed, her features softened and turned herself to look at the boy.
“We have to start going” The older witch announced and opened the door, too many thoughts on her head, to many emotions.
The boy looked at you with a smile and lifted his hand in a motion to tell you to come closer, you did it and placed yourself at the entrance of your house, you could see Agatha had already started to walk towards what you remember was her house.
“Seems like we are going together to the road” He seemed to be excited, his face lit up, his expression full of enthusiasm.
“Yes” You shily smiled at him, he seemed to be a kind person, always trying to see the good side of things.
Closing the door behind the two of you, you started to walk down the street, ready to face whatever that could happen.
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“What do you mean I cannot be part of the coven?” You asked Agatha again, what did she mean you were not going to help open the door to the road?
“I already told you, we already have the members of coven” You did not want to fight, and if Agatha did not want you to be part of her coven then it was alright, you did not care.
Agatha was relieved you did not put up much of a fight, the only way of making sure you were going to be safe, was by not making you part of the coven, the road was cruel and harsh, so by separating you and making sure you did not have to do as much as possible with the coven that she had just created, even if that meant you would be angry at her, she would do it, your safety came first.
“Fine” You said to her and rolled your eyes.
“Go with the teen upstairs, when we open the door, I will come for you, alright?” She whispered to you, you could sense the intense gaze of the other witches looking at the two of you, Agatha wanted to take your hand into hers, but she stopped herself.
Agatha saw you climbing the stairs, and when she made sure you had closed the door behind you, she sighed, no one in the house was ready to face what was waiting for all of you at the road, she could only made sure to keep you safe no matter what, and she would do it, whatever it took to keep you safe, she was going to do it.
“What do you think would be at the end of the road?” The teen asked you when you entered the living room, he was sitting on one of the couches, with Mr. Scratchy on his lap, your bad temper suddenly changed when you noticed the rabbit was there.
“I do not know, isn´t that it changes for everyone?” You asked him and he nodded, he noticed you were looking at the rabbit.
“You want to hold him?” You nodded; he passed the bunny over to you, taking the little fur ball in your arms you started to scratch his head.
“Do you want to sit here? I can sit on the floor” He asked you with a smile on his face, and you giggled.
“No, it´s alright, don´t worry, you arrived first so you have to stay there, alright?” Instead you sat  on the floor in front of him, never letting go of Mr. Scratchy.
“I missed you so much” You said talking to the bunny, the teen in front of you grinned, it was nice being with him, his expression reminded you of someone, to be more specific, the way he laughed reminded you of a certain twin that you used to pass time with, where were they?
“Are you alright?” He asked you with a worried expression on his face.
“Yeah, I just miss some friends” You replied, taking the bunny closer to you, you remembered when you passed time with the twins looking for this same bunny because he had got lost and they did not want for “Auntie Agnes” to get mad at them, the memory almost brought you to tears.
“I can be your friend” He smiled proudly of his idea, and you could not help but smile as well.
“That would be nice” You said to him, smiling back at him, you saw the way he took from his pocket the small little notebook he had in there.
“We can start by knowing what the other like, I will write everything down on my notebook, I write everything that is important down here, that is why I always make sure I have this with me” He said while starting to write something down in the little pages.
You nodded at him and started to share what you liked to do, the movies you liked to watch and the series you were fond of, your mind wandered back to a certain red-haired friend, the times you would have movie nights at her house, and the sitcoms she used to put on replay, once again you remembered how much you missed the people that had become your family
 He shared with you how much he loved listening to music, the bands and singers he usually listened and it made you smile the way he seemed to be so excited about sharing his interests.
“When we get out of the road, I will show you my playlists, and we can have movie nights at my place, we can watch the movies you told me about, and also we can play board game while listening to some music” He sounded so excited, and he reminded you of when a little boy shows his new toys to everyone.
“I would love that” You said to him, matching his enthusiasm, the two of you kept on talking about interests and you found him to be really funny, you could see yourself getting attached to this friendship.
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You had separated yourself from her when you noticed what Agatha was about to do, unconsciously the blue-eyed woman had brought you closer to her and pulled you from your waist to place you behind her, ready to protect you and using her own body to shield you from the unknown entity rising from the ground.
“Surprise, my lady” Agatha took whatever the green witch had given to her, and before all of you could react properly, Agatha lifted her hand, ready to throw her fist at the woman, Alice and Jenn were quick enough to grab her to stop her from whatever she was about to do.
Agatha and the witch with the messy hair exchanged looks for a minute, but when the new member that had joined Agatha´s coven saw you, her expression changed, the smirk she held on her face suddenly changed, her gazed lingered on you for what appeared to be minutes, her intense gaze made you feel a little uncomfortable, and when Agatha noticed whom she was looking at, her expression got even angrier.
What happened next, happened so quickly that you did not have to register carefully, the only thing you felt was Agatha taking your arm to drag you towards her, forcing you to walk at her pace.
Alice, Jen and Lilia saw the way the new green witch was looking at you, and they saw how the witch with dirt all over herself followed with her eyes the way Agatha had gone with you beside her, they did not understand what was going on.
“Agatha wait!” You could hear the teen behind you, calling for the older witch.
“You´re hurting me Agatha” Her strong grip around your arm has starting to hurt, she abruptly stop in the middle of the road and when she looked at you, you could see that the anger had disappear from her features, she carefully loosened her grip around your arm and lifted it to examine it.
She lifted the sleeve of your jacked and carefully ran her fingers through your skin, looking carefully for something that you did not know.
“I´m sorry, I won´t do it again” You really could not help the way her actions made your heart beat faster, you could not deny it even if you wanted to, even if you were still hurt by her actions, you heart still belonged to her.
“It´s alright, don´t worry” You answered to her, and removed your arms from her touch, she still made you feel nervous, and for a second Agatha smirked, she noticed she had still that effect on you, so maybe, just maybe, that could mean you still had feelings for her.
“Listen, I need you to stay away from her” She said to you in a whisper, you blinked, not understanding what she meant.
Agatha turned her head to the right to see where the other witched were, and what saw again, made her blood boil, you turned your head as well to see what she was looking at, and when you noticed a big pair of brown eyes staring at you without even blinking, you quickly turned your head to look at Agatha´s shirt.
Even thought the constant and intense stare of the green witch made you feel scared, it also made you curious, so you quickly turned again your head to look at the woman from afar, she was not looking at you anymore, she seemed to be looking at her surroundings, exploring the road and what it was around it, you could swear you had seen her give little jumps while playing with something in her hand, unconsciously you smiled, it was strange that she looked so familiar, you could swear you have seen her before, the deadly stare she had, you felt as if you had seen it before, but you could not remember where, the smiled that had formed in your face  of course did not pass unnoticed to the witch that was in front of you.
Agatha did not like the way the green witch had looked at you, she felt uneasy, and even though she would not say it aloud, she felt a pang of jealousy right now that you were looking at her with a smile, she wanted you to smile at her, and not at the woman who was touching the branches of the trees, her jaw clenched, she took your chin with her hand and made you look at her.
“I am being serious, you have to stay away from her” The way she said that to you, as if she was telling you to follow her order, it made you feel warm.
“Why? Who is she?” You were about to turn your head back to look at the green witch, but Agatha with a strong yet soft grip on your chin, did not let you do that.
“I used to work with her, I know her very well, she is not a good person, so just do as I say, alright?” Why was she so intensely telling you not to get near the new member, what was she not telling you? You had so many questions but decided not to ask, the way Agatha had talked to you and how her touch felt against your skin, made you forget of all your worries.
“Good girl” She said to you and that was what it took for you to finally give in, you couldn’t help it, all of the emotions, feelings you have tried to suppress, came back with a force you were not expecting, and without thinking properly, you hugged her.
Agatha was taken aback, she had not waited for you to hug her, it felt so good to have you so close, you passed your arms around her shoulders, and without losing any more time, she passed her arms around your waist, she pulled you impossibly closer to her, she had missed this so much, the way you pressed your head against her chest, it only made her want more of you, she started to caress your back, up and down, soothing you, Agatha then placed her chin on your head, oh, she had missed you so much, you had no idea.
Neither her nor you, dared to say something, not wanting to break the comfortable vibe that surrounded the two of you, Agatha just let herself enjoy the pleasant feeling of having you so close to her.
Without thinking too much, she pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, and you sighed content, you had really missed her, you had missed the way she only knew how to hold you, you felt so relaxed in her embrace.
The teen had had walked closer to you without making any sound, he did not want to interrupt the moment you two were having, he felt glad, Agatha had let herself enjoy a little bit, he could really se how the two of you were dying to at least get to hold each other´s hand, he could see the love you two had for the other, and he was really fond of you, the two of you were so different, Agatha was a complete extroverted woman, a spontaneous woman who was a great leader, she knew exactly what to say, and had a comeback for everything, she would often taunt other people, but what he had noticed was that with only a look from you, she would come back to her senses.
So, he wondered, if maybe there was a way in which you two could still be together.
Lilia came next to the boy, to stand next to him, she saw in awe the scene that was unfolding in front of her, Lilia could not help but smile, it had been the first time she had seen Agatha acting so carefree.
Alice, Jen and the green witch came walking finally, and the sound of the crunching leaves, made you come back to reality, you cleared your throat, and slowly separated from Agatha´s embrace, you wished you could stay with her like that forever, but still you had to continue walking down the road.
Agatha slowly separated herself from you as well, and looked at you in a way you had thought she would never look at you again.
“We have to keep walking” Agatha caressed your hair one last time, and she let you go, you turned your head to look at the teen behind you and motioned to him to come next to you, he smiled and nodded his head, placing himself next to you, you and him started to walk again in front of everyone, he could not stop looking at you with a smirk, you looked at him and furiously blushed, and he started to laugh.
Agatha saw you walking next to the teen, the smile never leaving her face, she felt complete, the sound of footsteps behind her became closer and closer, and she hastily turned herself around to see the other witches.
“What?” She said with a frown on her face, somehow it was weird for her to let other people see her like that.
“Nothing” was the word that the three witches said in a hurry, Alice lifted both of her hands showing she meant no threat, Lillia closed her mouth and tried hard not to laugh at how defensive Agatha sounded, while Jen went to the side of the road to look at one branch that suddenly had become so interesting.
“That´s what I thought” Agatha replied to them with a sight, and dramatically flipped her hair to start walking.
Some seconds later, she noticed someone getting dangerously close to her and she heard a laugh, she knew very well the owner of that laugh.
“She is really pretty” And that made her abruptly stop, Agatha hastily turned herself to face the woman.
“Wow, you don´t have to get so defensive about it sweetheart” Rio had a smirk on her face, she was taunting the older witch, the situation was funny to her, never in million years, she had thought that Agatha would become so smitten by someone else, someone so much younger than her.
“Do not get near her, are you listening? I do not want you near her” She threated the slightly taller woman, and what she received in exchanged was a laugh.
“You do not have to get jealous, you have my heart” Agatha rolled her eyes in annoyance and decided to walk again, Rio followed her.
“You got softer, is she really that sweet?” Rio taunted again, Agatha smiled again without noticing, you were really sweet, she had no met someone like you during all of her long life, you were so understanding, you had a huge heart.
“She is” Agatha replied.
“Would you let me meet her?” Rio asked again, this time there was no trace of malice nor sounding as if she was mocking her, this time she sounded serious and that made Agatha frown, why was she so insistent on getting to talk to you?
She had not noticed when they reached you and the teen, the two of you were looking at the house in the middle of the road.
“Here we go again” said the teen next to you.
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“Are you alright?” You went quickly to try and help the teen, bending over to see if he had more injuries, you were worried, you did not want him to die.
You felt Agatha pulling you aside to let the other witches carry him to take him out of the house.
You felt anxious, and after some minutes that seemed excruciatingly long, all of you finally left the house and you saw them placing your friend on the ground, there was so much blood and without thinking twice, you went to crouch down to shake the teen.
“y/n” Agatha tried calling your name, but you were clinging to the jacket of the teen on the ground, Jenn was trying to pour the potion on his stomach but you were too immersed in your suffering and memories.
You were not answering, too deep on your own thoughts that had not notice you needed to move to give him space, you tried to shake him again, to see if he would open his eyes, to make sure he would not fall asleep again, even if his eyes were already closed.
“C´mon, you cannot leave too! You can´t die! You told me we were going to be good friends, that when we would get to the end of the road and left this place you would show me your music collection, I was going to show you all of the movies I told you about, we were going to have movie nights, at your place, you were going to teach me all of the spells you have learnt, you can´t leave me too!” You had not realized your voice was getting louder.
“y/n you need to move, please” Agatha yelled desperately trying to get your attention, she was crying, crying because she was worried about the teen, she did not want him to die either, but seeing you in this state, clinging desperately to the boy laying on the ground, shaking his body, begging him not the leave too, it made her realize how much you were hurting, she wanted to hug you and tell you that everything would be fine, but in her shocked state she was starting to freeze as well.
Jenn was pouring with her shaking hands the water on the teen´s stomach, watching the scene in front of her with glossy eyes, Lillia was trying really hard not to cry, she did not want to startle you even more, so she maintained her distance, Alice was crying like you, checking if the teen had more wounds, Agatha was behind you, trying to take you away from there.
Rio, was the only one that actually understood why you were acting that way, why you were so desperate, the way you had lost so many people, the way your eyes always seemed to be empty, she had seen everything years ago during that accident you had had, but watching you revive everything one more time, really was breaking her heart.
“Sweetheart you have to move aside, please” She kneeled besides you and tried to wake you from your trance, but it did not seem to work.
In a quick movement, out of desperation Agatha grabbed you by your waist and with a strong grip around you she pulled you to the other side of the road, the two of you fell to the ground, making you yelp in pain, you quickly got up and were about to go back to the teen´s side, but Agatha grabbed you again by the waist, making you get closer to her, your back glued to her front, she had a strong grip around you, not wanting to let you go, you could hurt him or even get yourself hut in your state.
“Let me go Agatha” You cried in desperation, none of them realized that you would not able to bear losing someone else, not again.
“No, keep still” She said firmly, she tried to stay calm for the sake of everyone.
“No, Agatha you do not understand, he cannot die!” You cried fighting, trying to get free from Agatha´s grasp, which only made her tighten her grip around you.
“I do, I do understand, but you have to calm down!” She yelled, louder this time, she did not want you to also hurt yourself more, you already had some wounds on your face and in your hands due to the glass that had shattered, but you were moving too much.
Of course, Agatha understood very well how was it to lose people she loved so much, she had given up so much, she had lost people she loved deeply, she was not a foreigner to the feeling of losing someone.
“Oh please Agatha, you cannot fool anyone! You don’t care about anyone but you, you have never felt how is it to lose someone you really love, you have never lost anyone, you know why? Because you can only love yourself, you are the only one that matters to you, everything is about you all the time, only about power, the great Agatha Harkness suffering a loss? No, no Agatha you do not know how it actually feels to lose everyone, your friends, your life, people whom you have thought were family” You yelled back at her, you had stopped moving so hastily, not fighting her strong grip anymore, you couldn’t keep fighting, not anymore.
You had not even noticed, that the wound on the stomach´s teen had stopped bleeding, and he was peacefully sleeping, the other witches were watching you, with tears on their faces.
Rio who was in front of you, squeezed her eyes shut, you really did not know that Agatha was not a foreigner to loss, she understood what you were feeling, but she knew that what you had said, had hurt Agatha, it had hurt her deeply, Agatha was crying, she could no longer stopped the tears from falling down her face, the two of you were on the ground again, she had her arms around your waist, you were sobbing, and Agatha was sobbing as well, she had her face buried in your neck and when she heard what you said, she couldn’t stop but cry at your words.
She was hurt, deeply hurt, and she couldn’t bear for the others to look at her with pity, she loosened her grip around you, and left you there sitting alone in the middle of the road, with your hands covering your face, and sobbing hard, you could not stop crying, Agatha stood up, her hair covering her face and she left, she needed time to be alone.
Rio saw her walking to the other side of the road, and took a deep breath, she did not blame you, she was sure Agatha had not told you about her story, and by the way everything she had witnessed had unfolded since arriving, she knew you had not also shared with Agatha the story about your past, Agatha did not know about what you had passed through and you were not aware as well about Agatha´s past, she shook her head and went to kneel in front of you.
“Sweetheart, he is fine, he is not going to die, I can assure you that, look he is now just sleeping, the wound is gone” She whispered softly into your ear, she had seen you from afar since that tragic day, she knew she had to take you with her that day, she knew she should have done it, but when she saw that deep down, deep down that death wish you had always had, for the most part of your life, she saw a glimpse of hope, the was a glimpse of longing, she recognized it immediately, you wanted to live, deep down, you had wanted to live, you had had died that night, you were bleeding so much, the bodies of those around you whose souls she had already took with her, she had already claimed them, the people who you considered family, for the first time you had met people whom you could consider family, it did not matter that you were not blood related to them, they had told you that you were a family, and they all have left you.
It was partially her fault, she knew it, she was aware, Rio knew that by not taking you with her, you would suffer more being without all of the people you loved, but she saw something in you, she knew that death was a relief  itself for the tortured people like you, for the ones who were lost, the ones that felt they did not have a place on earth like you, but seeing in you that spark of hope deep inside you, and so in the end, she did not take you with her, Rio knew she was being completely selfish, she had been aware that she was breaking the rules, and that there could be consequences, but she did not think of it at the time, she wanted you to be able to live, even if life had taken you there, she knew you had an immense pain, all your life, seeing friends come and go, never staying in your life for too long,  yearning and longing to belong somewhere, completely lost, an outcast, that was what you considered yourself as, not understanding your magic, always suppressing your powers, because your family had left you since you were a child, always fearing you, making you feel like a monster, always looking for a family, or get something as close to a family, never finding one.
But she wanted you to keep on living, she remembered perfectly the way you were crying, half of your face covered in blood, Rio got closer to you, and she stared at you, looking directly into your eyes, and she saw you were looking at her, she was sure you were not completely conscious, but the way you looked into her eyes as well, made her feel warm, she gently brought her hand to your face, and cleaned the blood off your face, she knew she was going to encounter you later on life, but she did not how, Rio did not want to leave your side, she wanted to make sure the paramedics arrived before letting you go, so with one of her hands she took your hand, and never let it go.
She stayed with you for over 20 minutes, watching you carefully, you had tears streaming down your face, from time to time, more tears would come out of your eyes, and she carefully wiped them off your face, she caressed your face with her fingers, making sure not to hurt you more that what you were already hurt, and when the sirens of the ambulances and the patrols were getting closer, she took one last look at you, with such a loving touch, she wiped the last tear falling from your eye, Rio then bent her head down to leave a sweet kiss on your forehead.
Rio knew that was not a goodbye, so she just placed your hand on your chest, and disappeared into the darkness with the wind and between the night.
She remembered fondly that memory, she had not given you the gift of death, but she had given you another chance, seeing you now so close, right in front of her, Rio knew she would not let anything happen to you, Rio was aware of the fact that you were enduring an immense pain, because of Agatha´s reckless actions you had got hurt one more time, but the green witch knew how deep Agatha´s love was for you, so if you let her as well as Agatha, she was sure the two of you would stop feeling the pain you had been enduring for so long.
She brought her hands to uncover your face, you had already calmed down a little, not sobbing as hard as before, you felt her soft touch against your skin, and it made you instantly feel peace, it had not been something you had felt since so many years ago, you had not felt something as calming and as soothing since that day you had lost everyone.
Rio noticed the way you looked up at her, and she carefully intertwined her hand with yours, it was a sensation you had felt once, so long ago, when you felt cold, the blood soaking your body, but even in the middle of all that tragedy, you somehow felt warm, you felt at peace, and feeling her touch, made you remember that day you had felt scared, you looked into her brown eyes, and that was when you remembered those eyes, you quickly threw yourself at her, passing your arms around her shoulders, the older witch smiled fondly, and finally, after years of only watching you from afar, reviving the moment she had seen you so many times, finally you were there, in front of her hugging her, she was feeling you again, after so many years, you were there finally, she understood why Agatha was so in love with you, because deep down, she knew she had been affected by the same feeling when she first saw you, in the end, she had broken the rules for you.
Rio slowly put her hands on your waist, caressing you so softly as if you were made of glass, she enjoyed the feeling, your warmth felt amazingly nice against her own body, she let herself enjoy the moment before speaking again in your ear.
“I promise you, he is going to live, he is not going to die, and you and Agatha are going to be alright, do you trust in me?” You realized she was not lying, you have already met her, in the middle of the tragedy, she had been there for you, you had not been alone, you had thought you had only dreamt of a beautiful woman with brown eyes and an intense stare that made you feel warm, you nodded against her neck and she instinctively hugged you tighter.
“You´re real, I did not dream of you that night, you were there” She nodded against your neck, and her right hand caressed your back up and down, even though you still had so many questions, such as who was she, how had she been there that night, why did she look the same? Even with so many questions running inside your mind, you felt safe.
You felt Rio separating herself from you, she carefully brought her hand to brush some of the strands of hair you had on your face.
“All of the betrayal you have passed through, the abandonment of everyone you have loved, every friend you have lost, Agatha does not know any of that, she is not even aware of half the things you have passed through, all the times you have left yourself trust in someone or whenever you finally feel someone is going to stay in your life, there is something that always happens, I know it, because I have seen it” Her brown eyes pierced your soul, Rio´s eyes were looking straight into your eyes.
“I have known Agatha far longer than you had, and trust me, she has passed through so many losses, she has lost so many people she loved, her reckless acts are just proof of how much she had passed through, you have no idea how much you two have in common, you only do not know that, because you had not told each other any of those things that had caused so much pain in you, Agatha is not really good when it comes to feelings, but trust me when I tell, I had never seen her put so much effort into actually doing the right thing, she loves you, deeply, you have no idea how much she really cares for you, and I know that what she did, she did it thinking she was protecting you, please don´t push her away anymore, you have the right to feel hurt, but trust me, if the two of you get to talk properly, you are going to understand everything, and I am going to be there, for the two of you, alright?” She said looking at you with a loving gaze.
“I know you have a lot of questions inside that little head of yours, and I will make sure to answer to each one of them, but I have to go see Agatha first, we will have a conversation, the three of us, but first I have to go with her and you have to stay here, with that boy, to make sure he wakes up, it is going to do some god to you when you see him open his eyes again, so you stay there with him, when he wakes up, you can come look for us, alright?” The way she was speaking to you, reminded you so much of when Agatha consoled you after you had had a nightmare, her voice was as soothing as Agatha´s.
You nodded and Rio smiled at you, she helped you to stand up, and gave you one more hug, she pressed you against her one more time and pressed a kiss on your lips, it had only been a peck, a soft kiss that left a tingling sensation that lingered on your lips for a while, you started to feel your face getting warmer, she smiled at you and squeezed you hand one final time, before finally leaving your side, you went to place yourself next to the teen, your friend, and you were relieved to know he was going to be alright.
When you got next to him, and sat next to where he was laying, Alice came to sit next to your right, she smiled at you, it was a reassuring smile, she could not help but to feel protective towards you, she was happy you had calmed down, she put her hand on your shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, as if she was telling you that everything would be alright, after a couple of minutes Lilia came to sit next to your left, she gave you a hug and said to you that everything was going to be alright, you hugged her back, and when separated herself from you, she gave you a huge smile as well, then Jennifer arrived and placed herself next to you, with a little cup that seemed to be made of leaves, she stretched her hand out to you so that you would take it, you instantly did it, and she gave it a squeeze, then she proceeded to put in your hand the little cup with what it seemed to have water on it.
“I did it, it is going to help you relax, do not worry, we all got your back” Their actions touched your heart, and for once in a long time, you felt tears of joy, everything seemed to get better.
。˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩
You did not know how much time it had passed, but you noticed the teen waking up from his slumber, you quickly went to his side to look at him, when he saw you, he smiled, and you smiled as well.
“You are alive! You are still here” You said to him excited, he nodded and proceeded to sit on the floor, after you made sure he was stable enough, you hugged him, you hugged him because you were happy, he was alive, because he was alright, because your friend was still there.
He hugged you back and he smiled, he had heard what you had said about him, not wanting to leave.
“I am not going to leave anytime soon, we still have to watch movies together, play board games and listen to my playlist, I am going to stick here for a long time” He said to you with a soft gaze on you.
“We are friends, we still have too many things to do!” You nodded excitedly, and before you could continue to talk with him, the other witches, which now you understood were your friends as well, all sat around you and the teen, they were happy he was fine, and you could not feel happier to be with them.
“C´mon, you can leave him with us, we are going to take good care of him, you still have something else to do” Lilia said to you, she was holding your hand, it made you remember Wanda, and her motherly touches, you gave her hand a squeeze and stood up, ready to meet Rio and Agatha.
You were nervous, you did not know what the talk was going to be, but with everything Rio had told you, and with the guilt you were feeling for saying hurtful things to Agatha without knowing, you really needed to say you were sorry to her, you did not want to lose any more time.
When you finally visualized them they were sitting on a big tree-trunk that was on the middle of the floor, the scene filled your heart with so much love, there Agatha was sitting next to Rio, their shoulders were touching and Rio seemed to be talking to Agatha, the blue-eyed woman was looking at the leaves on the floor, when they heard the sound of footsteps stepping on the crunching leaves, they lifted their heads to see you, Rio looked at you with the same warmth she had been looking at you, her features had softened and on her face a smiled appeared, Agatha could not take her eyes away from you, she was looking at you with an unreadable expression, you decided to walk closer to them and when you were just centimeters away from them, Agatha quickly stood up from her seat, and engulfed you in tight embrace, her grip became stronger, she had passed her arms around your waist, pulling you closer to her, you rested your head on the crook of her neck, your hands resting on her chest.
Agatha did not want to let you go, never, she wanted to be with you, she wanted to have you close to her, you noticed the way Agatha was caressing your hair, her soft touch comforted you.
“I am sorry Agatha, I am sorry for all of the things I said to you, I should have judged you without knowing, I hope you can forgive me” You said in a whisper, loud enough for her to hear, and she started to cry, you looked up at her worried, and she only gave you a beautiful smile.
“It´s alright doll, you do not have to be sorry for anything, you did nothing wrong, I understand completely your pain, I have to be the one that should have said sorry, I am so ashamed of what I did, you have to believe me when I say to you how sorry I am, I should have never let you alone, I should have never took your powers, I thought that if I took them from you, Wanda would not be mad at you, and she would not sense the magic coming from you, and I stupidly thought that if she sensed you did not have any type of magic, she would not come after you, how stupid I was that I got you under the same spell I was in because of my actions” Agatha was sobbing, she was caressing your back, wanting to touch you as much as possible, afraid that she would lose you again.
“It´s alright Aggie, now I understand, I know that you love me, as much as I love you, I don´t hold grudges against you, I am happy now that you said you love me, I am not angry anymore” You said while looking straight into her baby blue eyes, she could not wait any more time, so she leant in to capture your lips, it was a soft kiss, a pure one, she wanted to show you how much she loved you, that she loved you with her whole heart, she smiled on your lips, the two of you were crying, but nothing compared to the sensation of feeling her lips against you.
After the kiss was finished, she brought her hands towards your face, and started to brush the hair on your face, just as how Rio had done it before, you instantly looked at Rio who had already stood up from her seat and was behind the two of you, she was smiling, her characteristic smirk on her face.
“She always makes everything a competition” Rio said and Agatha started to laugh, it was a sincere laugh, you looked at Rio confused and she got closer, she stretched her hand out to you so that you would take it, and you did it.
“I told her I had kissed you” And Rio winked at you, you blushed furiously and left the two of them drag you to the tree-trunk they had been sitting before, Rio was holding the hand you had given to her, and Agatha did not let go of your other hand, holding it tightly, the two of them sat you in the tree-trunk, you were in the middle, Rio decided to sit next to your left and Agatha sat next to your right, both of their hands never letting go of yours.
“We are going to be fine” Said Agatha before placing a soft kiss to your hand, the one she was holding, making you blush even more.
“We are going to be fine” Repeated Rio and she decided to place a kiss on your forehead, you smiled at them, feeling happy.
You still did not know what the road still had left for you, you were not sure, what you would have to endure, but with Agatha and Rio taking care of you, making sure you would be fine, you knew nothing else mattered, also, with the help of your new friends as well, Lilia, Alice and Jenn, you knew all of you would be able to pass the next trials, and with the help of the one that you were sure could become your best friend, the teen who always saw the good side of everything, you were sure, all of you would get to the end.
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catmiemy · 4 months ago
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Not Work Day (Aitana Bonmatí x Reader)
Summary: Aitana and you spend a rare day off together.
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A/N: This is just a silly little story I thought of a while ago and finally wrote in hopes of getting into more of a writting mood again. So many ideas and so little ability to put them on 'paper' lately...
I hope you enjoy this one! :)
Dating a professional football player wasn’t always easy. Whenever you mentioned that to anyone they usually assumed you referred to your girlfriend having to travel a lot or the lack of days off together because of conflicting schedules, or the interest the nosey media and even nosier public had in your relationship.
And sure, all of these things could be tricky at times, but there was something else that was even harder to bear; seeing your girlfriend being worked to the ground with almost no time to recuperate properly. Before you started dating Aitana you had never thought much about it, now it haunted you during the days and disturbed your dreams.
Every new injury you heard about made your stomach drop, always wondering the same thing, what if next time it would be your girlfriend going down with some horrible injury? The guilt always followed close behind, with your berating yourself for being happy in any capacity that someone else got hurt.
More often than not it was a struggle to watch Aitana’s games. You had a tendency to clench every single muscle in your body until the final whistle was blown, and you could be sure that nothing bad had happened.
For a while you did your best to keep these concerns to yourself, not wanting to make Aitana worry about you unnecessarily. Convinced that if you just wanted it enough, you would get over this.
You should have known that your girlfriend would catch on; she was too perceptive not to notice it, too concerned about your well-being to miss it.
When she did you explained somewhat reluctantly what was bothering you; the last thing you wanted was for your girlfriend to feel guilty. This wasn’t her fault at all and she shouldn’t feel bad about playing the sport she loved.
Despite your best efforts to downplay it, the first thing you saw in Aitana’s eyes once you finished your explanation was guilt. Most likely because you were looking for that emotion specifically, but in that moment you couldn’t think rationally like this. You were about to apologize, try and take it back somehow, when she asked you one simple question.
“Is there anything we can do to make you feel better about it?”
Up until that point it had never occurred to you to think about possible ways to make the situation easier for yourself. Usually your thoughts had been centered around scolding yourself for being such a worrywart. It made you oddly emotional that Aitana took you this seriously and didn’t dismiss your concerns.
Neither of you found a satisfying answer to the question that night, but over time you came up with something that helped, a tradition that you called ‘not work days’. 
On one of these ‘not work days’ you were awoken by Aitana trying to get up. Without opening your eyes you reached out to grab her wrist and pull her back into bed. You were met by some resistance, forcing you to open your eyes and scowl at the brunette.
“Hey, you work or not work?” You asked, leaving no room for interpretation what the correct answer was.
Aitana rolled her eyes at you, but relented, snuggling back into you much to your delight. You wrapped your arms around her and buried your face in her shoulder.
“I’m never going to be free of that stupid phrase, am I?” She grumbled.
“Nope,” you agreed, “And now hush, it’s way too early to be up on a not work day.”
You felt some lingering tenseness in your girlfriend’s body, apparently she wasn’t fully ready yet to commit to resting some more. It was time to pull out your magic weapon; you began gently tracing small circles in the space between Aitana’s eyebrows. It worked like a charm. Within seconds the brunette fell back asleep and you let yourself drift off as well.
The next time you woke up it was on your own accord, like you hoped it would be. Usually when you managed to get your girlfriend back to sleep she didn’t wake up again until late in the morning. In your mind a clear indication that the Spaniard needed this extra rest.
You allowed yourself to linger in bed a little longer to hold Aitana in your arms and watch her sleep. It was rare for her to be still if she was awake, always moving around, busy with one thing after another.
Mostly the midfielder loved it and was happy with her life, but sometimes it became all too much. She had confided in you a while back that being with you had helped her to finally find a healthy balance in her life. That was without a doubt the biggest compliment anyone had ever given you.
After a few more minutes you placed a soft kiss on your girlfriend’s forehead, before carefully extracting yourself and moving to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Breakfast in bed was a staple of the not work days..
You hummed happily to yourself while you made an omelet, mixed a smoothie and cut up some cherry tomatoes. And of course you couldn’t forget about the coffee! When everything was ready you walked back to the bedroom, ready to wake up Aitana with some gentle cuddles.
However, your plan was thwarted. You opened the door and instantly spotted your girlfriend on her cell phone. This in itself wasn’t a problem, but the way she had crunched up her nose and her eyebrows were knitted together, revealed to you that she was most likely looking at something work related. She looked too stressed for this to be anything else.
“What are you doing?” You demanded, “This is a not work day!”
You expected the Catalan to smile at you apologetically, instead a huge grin appeared on her face and she turned her phone around. It took a moment until you realized why she had done that; your girlfriend was recording the entire interaction and apparently she thought this was hilarious.
“Haha, very funny,” you grumbled, “I really thought you were working already.”
“I know, you should have seen your face,” Aitana replied between laughter, “Oh wait, you can. Come over here, mi amor.” She patted the bed next to her, but you remained standing. You would have crossed your arms, but the breakfast tray was stopping you from doing so.
“Don’t be like that, mi amor. I’m only giving back what you’ve been handing out. Or do I have to remind you how often you’re sending me that stupid ‘You work or not work’ video? How you even added some cute animal pictures to the beginning of it, so I wouldn’t recognize right away what clip it is? You violated the sanctity of cute animal pictures!”
The midfielder sounded so scandalized by this that you couldn’t help but crack a smile. You shuffled over to the bed, leaning over to give your girlfriend a good morning kiss. Just like you hoped this successfully distracted her from the stupid video she had recorded because you had no interest in watching it. You were admittedly better at teasing than being teased.
“So what’s the plan for today?” Aitana asked, tucking into her breakfast. “This is so good by the way.”
“No plans, we just do whatever you want to do,” you responded, deliberately ignoring her praise. Dealing with compliments also wasn’t one of your strengths.
“Whatever I want?” The Catalan asked with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes. “Everything that’s within the rules of not work days,” you clarified.
“But coming up with ideas is work too,” your girlfriend complained.
“My poor baby! Okay, here are some ideas; we can bundle up on the couch and watch a movie, we can make cookies, we can take a walk in the rain…”
“Yes! Let’s take a walk in the rain,” Aitana interrupted, her choice surprising you. The midfielder wasn’t known for liking the rain, in fact she made no secret of how much she hated the rain.
“Really?” You double-checked.
Your girlfriend nodded, “Yeah, you made it sound so romantic a few days ago. Both of us under one umbrella, the rain pattering on it, huddling close together for warmth. Sounds like a movie scene.”
“Okay then, let’s do it.”
The two of you got ready, Aitana putting on much more clothes than you. Normally you would tease your girlfriend about it, but you didn’t want to risk her remembering the video she had taken earlier.
In the beginning the walk was actually romantic. The sound of the pitter patter on the umbrella was soothing, especially with how quiet and deserted the roads were. You breathed in deeply, savoring the smell of rain. Aitana was snuggling into your side and when you looked over she had a soft smile on her lips.
Before too long however, you noticed that your girlfriend clung a little too strongly to you and she was dragging her feet. This time when you glanced her way you were met by an unhappy expression, though it quickly morphed into a forced smile as soon as Aitana noticed your eyes on her.
You pulled her to a stop. “What is it, babe?”
“My feet are wet,” the Catalan whined.
Your eyes snapped to her feet. Your girlfriend was wearing her favorite and already pretty worn sneakers. It wasn’t really surprising that they weren’t able to withstand the rain anymore.
“Then let’s go back home,” you stated, already turning around and tugging Aitana’s hand to follow you.
“No, I don’t want to ruin this.”
You turned to face the midfielder again, cupping her cheek with your free hand.
“And I don’t want you to be miserable, or worse get sick. And anyway this is your not work day, so you should only do things you’re enjoying.”
Aitana nuzzled slightly into your palm, smiling up at you. “Okay, but I disagree, it’s our not work day.”
You walked back rapidly to your apartment and when you got there you sent the brunette to the bedroom with the instruction to change into something comfy and get rid of her wet socks.
“Don’t put on other ones though! I have something for you,” you added.
A few minutes later you met Aitana back at the couch, a cup of tea in one hand and the other one hidden behind your back. Your girlfriend craned her neck, trying to sneak a peek, but you didn’t allow it.
“Show meeeee,” the Catalan begged.
You followed the request, showing her the fluffy socks you had bought a while back. A huge smile spread across Aitana’s face as she saw them.
“They look so comfortable. Thank you! But how did you know I would need them?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “I didn’t. I just bought them randomly for a not work day. It’s pure luck that you got wet feet today.”
“Or maybe this was all part of an elaborate evil plan to get me to undress my feet in front of you,” Aitana joked.
“You got me there. That’s why I raved about walks in the rain and that’s why I suggested it this morning. I even sabotaged your shoes,” you explained with a serious face.
Your girlfriend giggled happily. “I guess in that case you’ve earned the right to put on the new socks and give me a foot rub afterwards,” she said, sticking her feet out towards you.
“How generous of you!” You exclaimed, quickly putting on the fluffy socks.
Then you went to sit down next to Aitana to give her the requested foot rub, but you stopped in your tracks when you saw the midfielder glaring at you.
“Everything okay?” You asked uncertainly.
“No!” The brunette cried out, making your heart beat faster; what had you done wrong? “I need you to change into comfortable clothes as well. This doesn’t look like a good outfit to relax in.”
You looked down yourself and only now realized that you were still wearing jeans. “Oh, I guess you’re right.”
Before you got a change to move away, Aitana caught your hand and pulled you in for a kiss. “Sorry for scaring you. I didn’t realize it would actually make you anxious,” she apologized. “And now go, I need my girlfriend to warm me up.”
You were happy to oblige, hurrying to the bedroom.
“And can you bring the laptop back with you? I’m in the mood for some online shopping,” Aitana shouted after you.
You were happy to do so since it signified that your girlfriend had fully gotten into the swing of the not work day. It was always the same; in the beginning she didn’t know what she wanted to do, but as time progressed the midfielder became more attuned to her own desires that she so often put on the back burner.
On your return you handed Aitana the laptop before plopping down by her feet, taking them in your lap for the promised foot rub. You hadn’t even started yet, when your girlfriend let out a surprise “Oh”, pulling her feet back and scooting closer to you instead.
“What are these?” She asked, showing you the screen with your last internet search. It had completely slipped your mind what you had been looking at the day before.
“Dresses,” you offered up dryly.
“Yeah, I can see that. Any special occasion?” Aitana probed.
“You know the answer to that. It’s not every day you get to accompany your girlfriend to an award show for the best football players in the world,” you replied nervously; although you didn’t know why you felt nervous about this.
“Aw, I really appreciate that!” Your girlfriend cooed, her eyes flickering over the screen, “Can I help pick?”
You nodded; that had always been the plan. Since this was the first time you were going along as Aitana’s partner you wanted to look your best, so another opinion was definitely needed.
“Some of them are pretty expensive,” the Catalan mentioned carefully.
Money had always been a touchy subject between the two of you. Aitana had a lot more of it than you did; still you didn’t feel comfortable with constantly letting her pay, insisting that you took turns. The brunette wasn’t too happy about that, but by now you had found some middle ground, usually going to less expensive places when it was your turn to pay.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” you dismissed Aitana’s concern, “And I want to look worthy of my girlfriend. You know she’s currently the best football player in the world?”
“You sound so proud of me.”
Atiana’s voice was oddly quit; it made you wonder if she doubted that you were proud of her. You thought back to the last few games and realized with a start that you couldn’t remember the last time you had actually said these words. This way worrying, especially considering your girlfriend had a hard time believing things unless she heard them over and over again.
“That’s because I am,” you responded firmly, vowing to do better.
“Even if it makes you anxious?” The brunette wondered.
You sighed, rubbing your face. “Let’s be honest, no matter what job you had, I would always be anxious about something. That’s the annoying thing about anxiety; it’ll always find something else to worry about.”
Aitana looked up at you hopefully, “So you don’t hate that I’m a footballer?”
“What? No, of course not! And I’m sorry if I made you feel like that,” you apologized.
“Well that’s good then,” your girlfriend announced, a smirk appearing on her face, “But hey, is working out issues even allowed on a not work day? Or did you just break your own rules?”
You rolled your eyes, “Of course it’s allowed and since they’re my rules, I can change them whenever I want.”
Aitana raised her eyebrows, fighting to keep her face neutral, “Oh really, is that how it works?”
“Yes,” you nodded sagely.
A devilish grin appeared on your girlfriend’s face, and too late you recognized your mistake.
“In that case I’m making my own rules as well and decide that I get to buy you this blue dress.” She pointed to the one that was your absolute favorite, but that was also firmly out of your price range.
“Aitana,” you groaned, “That’s not how it works!”
“Oh? If you can make up random rules, so can I,” the Catalan pointed out, daring you to disagree with her.
“That’s not the same at all. I don’t want you to spend money on my clothes,” you argued
“Why not? If you think about it, I’ll get to appreciate your dress much more than you. I can admire you in it all night long, and maybe I’ll even get to take if off of you. And this dress will look stunning on you; it will really bring out your eyes.”
“Fine”, you relented, making your girlfriend squeal happily. There was one more thing to say though, so you stopped Aitana’s over the top celebration with one hand. “But this means you can only get me something small for my birthday.
“Okay,” the midfielder agreed suspiciously quickly.
“And I mean that, Tana!” You doubled down.
Your girlfriend nodded, but seemed to be only half-listening, too busy adding the dress to your cart. You would just have to bring it up again when your birthday was closer because you wouldn’t be budging on that.
After Aitana successfully ordered the dress, she leaned back with a content sigh.
“I really love these not work days, you know?”
Your heart leapt happily at that concession.  “Me too, babe.”
Sometimes you wished you got more of them, but maybe not having them all the time made them extra special.
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anadiasmount · 8 months ago
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we’re pretending? - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: no date to an upcoming wedding, you use your best friend as last resort. what happens when your best friend isn’t playing pretend anymore and you’re left conflicted with these unusual feelings…
wc: 4.6 k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa 🗣️: i used my og ‘glory box’ fic to get some inspo while writing this fic ngl!! 😣 this was so fun to write not only by the trope but the DRAMAAAA!! like always, hope you enjoy! 🤍
“yes mom, i know. i picked my dress up yesterday, and my flight is booked as well,” you sighed and rolled your eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to see you through the phone. she knew how important this wedding was but she kept putting the pressure on you. it was the last thing you needed especially after you told her you’d bring someone along.
that someone was now you’re ex-boyfriend. you had less than 48 hours to come up with an excuse or show up alone.
"are you still bringing your plus one?" she asked, the line going silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. "y/n? are you there?" you should've just lied or said the truth, all you could think of was how happy and super excited she was when you told her you'd met someone and began dating.
"yes mom... we both will be there," you closed your eyes, disappointment in yourself filling the void in your head. you could hear her squeal in the background, telling a voice there with her about the good news. you chewed on your lip anxiously, wanting to cut the call or else you'd break down.
"listen mom, i have t-to go okay? ill call you tomorrow. try not to stress so much," you smiled weakly hearing an "i love you", ending the call after gifting your goodbye. there was no avoiding the mistake you had committed. you wanted to slap some common sense into yourself, because where the hell were you about to find someone?
you clearly remembered the day telling your mom you'd met someone at uni. she was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone but you dismissed the idea, not wanting to rush since you had recently met. you would call her and tell her about him, and she listened so attentively, just like in the movies.
you couldn't bring yourself to tell her when you and max had broken up. your whole life has always been surrounded by being told you needed to be more like your older sister, the pressure of being a golden child laid on you. for once you had something, but that had to get ruined as well.
the scolding, the perfect grades, friends, hell even family. you had to be so careful and live up to their expectations. you loved them, you did, but at times you just felt like moving away was the best idea. and you did just that, the first to move out to a new country, breaking records at uni, and even finding a suitable job.
your boss loved you, and coworkers admired you for the passion and dedication you carried. so why did it have to go all wrong with max? you had an image of him in your head that he was madly in love with you, though you'd later be proven wrong when you found out he was sleeping with his boss. finding them in the act on your 6th month anniversary.
you still can recall the feeling of being unable to breathe, their screams and his pleading going quiet as you could just stare into the room, not once being able to see his eyes. disgust, and rage, but mostly sadness, a heavy heart, and the lump in your throat. he hurt you terribly and you would forever resent that.
after the call, you sat quietly on the couch, hands in your hair as you thought about everything. looking around seeing your bags packed, the blue dress hanging by your room, pictures everywhere. you hated to admit but you were living in a hell, life messy and a disaster. your buzz ringed, seeing through the tiny camera your best friend jude in the frame.
you allowed him in, walking over to the large mirror and wiping away the dry tears, making yourself look more presentable. you looked worn out, eyes droopy and low, lips slightly chapped, and to make matters worse a zit on your chin. you exhaled a breath, keys jiggling as jude came in.
he set his training bag down, took his shoes off, and walked to you, giving you a small hug. "you look terrible," you gave him a warning look, "but lucky you, i brought us food," he spoke cheerfully, the mood inside you going from gloomy to content. "it's raining like crazy, i almost fell coming up. also i brought some packages and your mail," jude continued.
"thank you, i haven't had the time to go down and pick them up! i've been so busy packing and planning last-minute stuff," you groaned, going to the kitchen and washing your hands. "watch, in the next few minutes i'm going to get a call," you theorized. jude pulled out the food and served it into your plates as you grabbed a water for him and a soda for yourself.
"how was training?"
jude shrugged unimpressed, "same old. didn't really have to go in, but they needed me for a small campaign shoot, so i had no choice. also cama and tchou send their hello's."
you and jude spoke amongst yourself. just about each other's days and catching up from the last time you guys were together. you teased him about losing a bet with his little brother, jude whining about how he cheated. new music that came out, and a pop up store that opened lower in downtown.
"so what's got your head in a twist?" jude sipped on his last few ounces of water, leaning his head on his propped-up arm and hand. you awkwardly scratch the back of your neck, pick up the dirty dishes, and walk to the sink. "okay don't make fun of me-"
"you're basically asking me too... also no promises since you just made fun of me for losing against jobe," jude chuckled.
"jude."
"oh it's serious then... what did you do?" he saw the serious look on your face, a small worry constructing in his chest because he rarely saw you like this. you close your eyes, feeling the anxiety build in you once again, "i told my mom i was still bringing max..."
jude scoffed in denial, or trying to cope with the confusion, "y/n, you what?"
"i know! i know! i should've just confessed and coughed up the truth but i- i couldn't! she was so excited jude! i feel terrible for lying believe me i do, but after telling her about him and filling her with hope to break her heart, i just c-c-couldn't," you ramble, dishes clattering as you freaked out.
in your head it didn't seem as bad, but fully saying it out loud to jude, seemed even worse. jude grimaced, knowing you had messed up bad especially since the wedding was right around the corner. "i'm just embarrassed... i know they will start something and just talk down on me if i showed up alone."
jude knew how heavy-handed your family could be, often wanting to resent them because he cared for you so much. he saw how physically and mentally they could rain you even with the smallest sentence. they seemed so worried with their lives instead of the ones they should most value and care for.
jude gave you a concerned face, "what?" chuckling nervously when you gasped out, almost being able to see the lit-up light bulb on top of your head. "jude, I'm a genius!"
"well i beg to differ-"
"shut up," you pat your finger against your chin, a mischievous smile on your lip taunting jude's concern even more. "i don't know why i didn't think of this sooner! why don't you pretend to be my boyfriend? just for the wedding that's it!"
jude shook his head, hands coming up to back out of the idea. it was one thing you lying, but now asking you to play pretend was something totally different. "that's not a good idea y/n..." jude clenched his teeth forcing a smile. "oh cmon why not?"
"well, first of all, that's an even bigger lie to your mom. second, pretending would seem impossible. third, i don't want the first time meeting your parents to be a lie because of what happened," jude defended and stated his case.
"it's a huge favor but you'd save my life jude! one weekend and that's it! you have plenty of suits, you're also off this weekend, and they would never suspect a thing! please jude! i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't so desperate," you begged, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.
"it seems like a bad idea... you don't know what you're asking for y/n... were pretending to be a couple when were not! we have to make it believable even under the pressure of the wedding. a theatrical play, a stunt!" jude exclaimed standing up from his chair.
"jude please, please, please! it might feel weird but it's for the night only! after that, we go back to the good old y/n and jude," you followed him as he paced in your living room thinking of his answer. would it be back to normal even if he continued to feel the same for you? the unknown loving feeling he had for you?
the pretending would be hard when all he could hardly think of was you. how he felt recently and how nervous he got around you. he would do anything for you in a heartbeat, but this would break jude further than now. he couldn't fake pretend holding your hand, or kissing your cheek when he meant and wanted to do that with you currently.
as bad as the idea was, here he was hugging you as you cheerfully yelped when he agreed. time moved slowly for him, the sensation of regret and curiosity as what was yet to come from both of you. all he cared for was to make sure you were happy, and if faking being your boyfriend would help you, he was willing to do it, no matter the consequences.
as jude was fixing his hair, you finished setting your makeup with some powder and setting spray. nerves bubbling in you after the first test you encountered last night after your arrival. you let out a laugh at the tiny bed you had to share with jude. seeing his uneasy face even after he offered to sleep on the couch.
"we're running on schedule," you spoke, finishing clasping your jewelry around your hands and rings. jude came behind you, his shirt unbuttoned and abs in full view, as he finished zipping his pants. best friend or not, there was no denying how incredibly sexy jude was. the name should speak for itself, but with the looks and personality he had, it was too good to be true.
"need some help?" he asked seeing you nod slowly and looking down at your feet. he took the necklace, your skin on fire as his fingertips grazed your skin accidentally, almost jumping on the spot, goosebumps grazing your body. he clasped the necklace, grabbing the pendent and fixing it so it laid in the middle. "perfect," he cockliy smirked.
"thank you."
"are you almost ready?" he looked at you as he buttoned up his shirt, you almost stuttered but regained consciousness, "yes, just need to put my dress and shoes on," you turned back quickly furrowing your brows, wanting to slap yourself for allowing yourself to get carried away, or maybe at the uneasy desire in you when seeing jude.
you went to the bathroom, grabbing the lacy undergarments and the blue dress. the color was to die for, the perfect length even with your heels on, the opened back with the front just showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and the whole dress just accentuating your body even more.
you felt the need to throw some water in your face though you couldn't or else it would ruin your makeup. you settled with fanning yourself with your hand, the tense in your chest getting to you as it was becoming real now. you were just pretending with jude. nothing more right?
you looked in the huge light-up mirror, and suddenly the confidence you had dripped away as you thought of jude in the next room over. why did all of a sudden everything feel like it wasn't before? as in, things changed drastically since the night at your apartment? you've never felt this clumsy or as edgy around him.
when you woke up this morning, with jude on top of you laying peacefully, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed, as if it was a natural state and you've done it before. in your own world where the only thing that mattered was him and you. since then you were slightly freaked out, butterflies in your chest when he left or walk into the room.
jude double taked a look as you walked into the room again. the tiny room that felt like a joke to him after walking in hand to hand last night. his eyes roamed you, lips slightly separated as he admired your beauty, heart hammering in his chest. he watched as you grabbed your cheeks, immediately offering to help.
he leaned down, gently grabbing your foot and placing the white jeweled heel on you. your hands were clamped around the small bench cushions, jude looking up then and there to make sure they felt comfortable. once again, his touch felt like fire, playing with your head even more.
when he finished clasping the heel, he extended his hand helping you up. "you look absolutely gorgeous y/n... this dress was made for you," jude croaked, hearing you laugh shakily. "thank you jude. likewise," jude smiled at your reaction, "i mean as in you look super handsome with the suit, not a dress!" you explained.
"i think i got what you meant..." he joked, his eyes roaming uo and down again at you. "good. good. shall we head out?" you swallowed heavily, grabbing your purse, phone, and other stuff you needed for the night. you were in a rush, wanting to get some fresh air or you would explode in the room with jude inside. "lead the way y/n."
jude helped you in an out of the cab, his hand on your bare back as he guided you to the double doors leading into the reception. "how are you feeling? any nerves?" you spoke quietly to him, looking around as people were taking their seats or had their own conversations.
"some but not too many. like you said, it's just for today," he whispered along your ear, gently giving your shoulder a kiss as his hands went to your hips and walked you forward. your mom and aunt gasped, grabbing their dresses and walking towards you, almost sprinting. "here goes nothing," you say.
"oh my god! so you are real!" your mom yelped, making you give her a glare and eyes pleading not to make a scene. "i was starting to think my sweet y/n was lying to me about this boyfriend she had," you almost choked on your saliva, clearing your throat at her words. "i am y/n's mom, what is your name?"
"i'm jude. it's a pleasure to finally meet you ma'am," jude shook her hand and leaned down to kiss her cheeks in a greeting manner, the same with your aunt. jude's hand interlocked with yours, the happiness in your mother's eyes never leaving, almost tearing up at the sight of you with your "boyfriend."
"i can't believe it! it's a miracle, my daughter finally has her first boyfriend," she clapped her hands making you wretched at her choice of wording. you did everything to have her at least praise you once in life, and all it took was to have a boyfriend? you brushed away the glum feeling, jude kissing your hand, distracting you from the small burn in your eyes.
"oh my! look at them! they make such a beautiful pair," your aunt gleamed. "we do, don't we?" jude teased them, "took her a while to say yes to me, but i'm very fortunate to be here," jude resumed. "we're very pleased to have you here, anything you need don't hesitate to ask."
after saying hello to other family friends and cousins, you sat for the ceremony. jude wiped a small tear away after your old school friend finished her vows, slapping his shoulder when he made a small joke about your mascara running. "its not funny! the vows were so beautiful," you said.
"it's like we are watching me before you again," he said making you gasp. "jude what are talking about? you literally cried with me?" you recalled laughing, jude looking around scared if someone was hearing you. "please don't remind me... in my defense, i didn't see that ending at all."
after the ceremony, you and jude greeted other families, and most importantly congratulated the bride and groom. their faces ushered with happiness, overall content with how their day was turning out. you had to excuse yourself from jude at one point, your mom dragging you away for your help. jude was left behind with your dad.
"since she was little, she always hated getting thrown or dragged around," your father spoke, taking a sip of his whiskey. "seems like nothing had changed?" jude asked carefully with a playful smile. "oh not even close! it's my wife doing," he winked.
"jude right?"
"yes sir," jude nodded, presenting the dad talk coming up. "I'm gonna save the unnecessary talk and get straight to the point. it's so weird to see my baby girl all grown up, with the lusting and loving eyes she gives you. you love her very much and i can see that which is why i'm not worried about you hurting or losing her trust."
hell if jude didn't feel guilty before, he did now. he gripped the glass harder, nodding to your dad who looked upset. "she may have told you some stuff about us, but at the end of the day, she's my daughter and i love her the way she is... please just take good care of her for me... she been through enough as it is..."
"i only have good intentions and i promise you i won't ever break her heart," jude promised to your dad, but also himself. he would never be able to forgive himself if he ever did break your heart or make you lose the trust you had. max did it once and jude would never do it. even if it meant keeping away these long feelings for you.
when you returned you saw them laughing and chatting away, your heart full of emotions at them getting along. jude was so mature for his age, and it didn't come to a surprise when he got along with your dad so fast. his hand would naturally lay on your back or on your hip.
the next few hours were filled with more people dancing or chatting away. jude insisting you sat on his lap for a picture when the photographer passed, smiling wide, looking like a happy couple. it seemed so natural to you, being this close and intimate you were getting scared at how fast everything was being thrown at you.
"i had to see it for myself! y/n bagging a footballer? never saw that coming," your cousin approached you giving you a high as he dabbed up jude. "jude meet my cousin adrian, he's a huge fan of you, and just successfully signed with a small club," you introduced them to each other, with a huge grin on your face.
jude’s hand snuck around your waist, his thumb drawing shapes as his full attention was with your cousin who spoke about sports. you listened then and there, but your feet began to ache, switching your weight back and forth uncomfortably.
jude was quick to notice, leaving down to your level and asking if you were okay. “i’m fine i promise, these shoes are killing me that’s all,” you reassured with a smile, jude nodding before cutting the conversation after a few minutes. “i’m going to get her a chair and drinks for us,” you froze when he kissed your temple, “i’ll see you around later,” jude said his goodbyes dragging you along slowly.
like before, your chest beat faster, if he stared, smiled, even touched or got near you, you’d get nervous immediately. the familiar string of falling for someone filling the empty space left behind inside you. he was super good at pretending and it didn’t feel like that anymore.
it felt real. was he just pretending? or was he actually taking this fake relationship seriously and real?
all you could do was stare at his face, mostly his gorgeous brown eyes as he helped you get seated and served you some water, making sure you were fully okay. he sat next to you, his hand interlocking with his, and placing it on his lap as he paid attention to his surroundings. you become quiet, so into your head and questioning his every move now.
“jude?” you spoke softly, a confused smile on your face as he immediately turned to you with a soften gaze. you inhaled a breath, unable to look away from him, his ínstese state causing you to feel intimidated. “is everything okay?” he asked, leaning slightly over to you, pushing a small string of hair back. “is it supposed to feel like this?”
“what is?” jude shook his head not understanding.
“us? why am i getting the idea we’re no longer pretending…”
jude tore his gaze from yours, the panic growing more intense when he wouldn't reply back. "jude please... don't push me away. are we just pretending or has something changed?" you persisted, your hand gliding against his back to get his attention. jude debated, afraid of losing you right here and now, or having the possibility to maybe hear you feel the same way.
"come with me," jude demanded, helping your and dragging you to the dance floor where no one could really see you besides the other happy couples. his hands circled your waist, as yours went to his shoulders, unable to look away from him. "tell me i'm not the only one who feels it..."
"tell me what you feel y/n... what your head is begging to scream out..."
"i can't, i don't know jude. i'm afraid yet so confused? since we got here yesterday things feel different between us. it happened again when we had breakfast, when you put my necklace on, my heels! all of this is giving me mixed signals jude... i haven't felt this in so long.." you confess, a shaky breath escaping your lips when he pulls you closer and kisses your head.
"like now. i can't if you just did that out of pretending or because it came naturally to you. i've never had to worry about what you think till recently... it feels strange... yet ican't help but get hope that it means real," you rest your forehead on his shoulder blinking away the tears that slowly begin to let out.
jude could see how this was affecting you, holding your lower body with one hand and the other smoothing down your spine, feeling how you immediately let loose and relaxed by his praise and touch. jude could also feel the heavy weight beginning to feel heavier if he kept his true hidden feelings away. it was a sign, and there was no going back.
jude's hand cradled your chin, forcing you to look up at his, his brown eyes gazing over your teary face. he was truly amazed and so in love with you it made his head feel cloudy, almost dizzy, at how perfect and pure you were. his tummy fluttering at his gorgeous girl who was confused at how she felt... but in this moment jude knew you were in deep as well.
"tell me something, when you see me, does it make your heart race, like i'm the only person standing there?" you nod, "does your head tell you one thing but your gut tells you another when you see me?" you nod again, this time blowing the air out of jude's lungs. "my head tells me i shouldn't, but my gut tells me i waited so long that maybe it's now to late for us..."
"why would it be too late y/n...?" you shrug your shoulders. "because i don't you feel the same way i'm feeling." jude smiled weakly, his thumb brushing along your jaw, hearing your hum in delight, "how can you know when you haven't asked me?"
your eyes search his for any sign but you don't find any, "what are you feel in this moment jude?"
"that i'm the luckiest man to be here with you tonight," he says proudly, "that i don't think we've wasted any time, rather i feel we're barely getting started on this new branch of our lives... i can't pretend when i'm with you... because pretending to hide how i feel has been so hard, when all i want is you. all of you y/n..."
"i had to see you go through that idiot max, how he hurt you? when you were hurt i was even more devastated because i couldn't protect you. i'd do anything to make you happy or laugh because it's what i want to do. i want to be the only one who gets to do that. i promised your dad but myself also, ask me what the promise is..." jude insisted.
"what's your promise jude?"
"that i'd never break your heart or give you a reason to doubt me. that from this day forward, i completely will give you my all to care and relish our love once and for all. i'm tired of waiting and holding back of what should've existed and started when i first met you."
"jude-"
"i want to give you my all, to be devoted and in love with you forever. you have no idea what you make me feel, think! i wake up longing for you, at work, at my own home. you're the only girl i want and need in my life y/n," jude confessed, the weight finally lifted of his shoulders, now being able to feel like a free man.
you closed your eyes, breathing out a happy chuckle in relief. you sniffled, "you've ruined me jude, completely ruined me with your words, your confession! look at me, i'm worse than when we finished watching the vow!" you joked, hand nestling on the nape of his next, stroking his soft skin.
"you love me jude?"
"more than what you think."
"i need you to know i'm giving you my all as well. I've always sensed how different what we had was, and come to find out, i was just scared and felt the need to push away because you didn't feel the same way. what i feel for you never happened with who shall not be named..." jude chuckles, closing his eyes and swallowing a heavy gulp like you.
"i'm so hopelessly in love with you jude bellingham... so in love, i want to grow old with you, make every promise we said out loud come true. i knew i loved you as soon as we laid eyes, and you stumbled over your words," jude squinted his eyes, shaking his head embarrassed. "kiss me jude."
jude kissed you exactly how he dreamed. your lips soft and sweet as he imagined, even better. cradling your chin to tilt and pulling the kiss deeper. it felt so right, so amazing, so passionate. he was lost, his tongue entering your parted lips when you let out a small gasp and whimper. there was no more pretending, this was more real than ever.
"could get lost in how you taste. how you feel. i love you so much angel."
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yourheart-inmyhands · 1 year ago
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I got one for you. Reader with long hair. Yan zhongli, Childe and Pantalone adore brushing it out or washing it for you, putting pretty (but not pointy) decorations in it. but you HATE them touching it. So one day, maybe when they slip up and leave smth sharp in your abode you grab it and lop off as much as you can before they come back (or stop you if they’re in the room when you do it). What happens afterwards?
Cannot wait to see what you cook with this, I adore your takes.
ah tysm! sorry it took so long to get to this, i took a little bit of a different twist from my normal writing style and did some headcanons and a short blurb! hope you enjoy :D
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including implied being held against will, mentions of reader almost being hit, zhongli being a softie, delusional behaviors, obsessive behaviors, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Yandere!Pantalone would be furious, as someone with hair of a decent length himself, he knows the time and dedication it takes to grow it out so long.
He also knows how much maintenance it took, which is why he never fussed about helping you with it, often insisting to do it for you.
He saw it as a bonding moment between the two of you, something to help him wake up in the morning as he did your hair and something to unwind to at night as he’d undo the intricate styles he had done it up in that morning. 
You cutting off your hair with a letter opener that he’d left in the room by mistake hurts him, upsets him to the point he almost strikes you. To him it’s as if you had cut him, making a statement that you’d rather give up on something you’d dedicated years to, than to allow him the comfort and satisfaction. 
Pantalone can’t even bear to look at you for the next few days, sleeping in another room or in his office. 
“How could you do something so despicable? Do you even care how this made me feel?” The way Pantalone speaks almost makes it seem like you’d given him an impromptu haircut. With the gorgeous hair that used to reach down the length of your back now sitting in choppy piles on the floor, it almost felt like you had in a way. Your hair was uneven, lopped off sporadically in case he tried to interrupt. You’d just taken off the last few locks when he had noticed the absence of his letter-opener, intending to merely pop into your shared bedroom to grab it. Instead he was met with the grueling sight of you, kneeling before the full length mirror, hand clutching the letter opened as your opposite hand released a fist full of hair, letting it float down to the piles that had formed below.
Yandere!Zhongli would be conflicted. Part of him is upset that you’d make such a hasty decision, not even weighing the outcomes and taking away something from not just yourself but from the both of you. 
The other side of him is hurt that you didn’t come to him first. That you didn’t feel comfortable expressing your discomfort with his actions and had taken it to the extreme instead. His heart aches at both thoughts.
You’d managed to pry a sharp piece of stone off the walls of the cave, using it to hastily take off chunks, only for Zhongli to catch you mid way through. His contempt at the situation settles with a sigh as me approaches you, gently prying the rock from your hands before disappearing, leaving you to sit on the floor, half of your hair lopped off just scattered around you.
He returns a short bit later though, bringing with him a large mirror and a sharp pair of scissors. Setting the mirror in front of you, he gently begins correcting your hazardous hack job, carefully trimming off all the missed areas to even it all out.
While his work wasn’t great, it certainly looked a little better than how it had started. Your hair now sitting a few inches above your shoulder, a simple all around cut that was, mostly, even.
Zhongli didn’t say a word as he approached, looking down at you with a blank expression, his calm eyes staring deeply into your wide ones as he gently pried the rock from your hands, leaving you to wallow in a pile of your own hair as he disappears. Upon his return, he places a large, ornate mirror in front of you. It was typically kept in the living room as a decorative piece but he required it’s services here. Pulling from his pocket a pair of sharp scissors, he gently angles your head to be straight before reaching for the areas you hadn’t gotten to yet. Quickly shedding the length of those pieces he gets to work on straightening the rest out, doing an ok job at making it all match up and look decent. “If you wanted me to leave your hair alone you could’ve always asked darling, you know I only want to make you happy in this life of ours.”
Yandere!Childe manages to catch you before the act. You had thought you were sneaky, tiptoeing out of bed early in the morning over to his work clothes that had been hastily shed after his return last night.
You knew he kept a couple different blades on him, having shown you them before. Yet as you checked every pocket, every hidden loop, all the little places he’d shown you that he could be keeping them, you continued to turn up with nothing.
Over and over you checked, an almost pleading in the way your hands silently searched through the crumpled clothing, desperate to find anything even remotely sharp at this point.
You could feel the frustration as well as tears welling up in your eyes, why couldn’t anything ever go your way? First you get stuck with that crazed lunatic, and now that he’s practically taken over your hair you can’t even take some control and rid yourself of it.
As you search, you failed to hear the bed creak, or the soft patter of footsteps behind you. The only two things that tell you he’s awake are his voice whispering in his ear and his hand flaunting the exact thing you’d been looking for.
“I thought you might go looking for this, so I hid it under the pillow. A little cliche but I thought you’d be too stupid to look there, guess I was right~” Childe’s voice comes out in a sing-song tone, almost as if he was bragging about outsmarting you. He could tell from the moment he took an interest in your hair that it made you uncomfortable, just another button of yours to push as he slowly molded you into the perfect spouse for himself. His nimble fingers twirled the simple knife around, flaunting it to you. You could try to grab it, lunge for it even, but it was no use. You wouldn’t be able to get even a strand shortened before Childe would have it back in his possession, especially when the distance between the two of you was so short. Short enough that you could feel his chest pressing against your back, his breath on your neck, and his soft strands of hair brushing against the back of your head.
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missnxthingg · 8 months ago
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𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Actress!Reader (Enemies to Lovers & Fake Dating AU) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando Norris really messed up on the first time meeting one of Hollywood's newest and hottest stars, Y/N L/N. But when his reputation gets too bad, she might be the only one who can save his career from being completely doomed. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 4.5K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - SMUT & swearing 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - Four is our lucky number, so let's spice things up! As I wrote this, I could only think about the song Conflicted by Halestorm (pardon the hard rock). Hope you enjoy this one!
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𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 - 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃
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Lando woke up a little lost the following morning. His cheek was pressed to the top of Y/N's head and his arms were loosely still around her waist. She was still deep into sleep when he opened his eyes. Too afraid to wake her up and having to face an awkward conversation, he stood very still, taking the first minutes of his day to look at her and think.
Whatever happened between them yesterday was weird, to say the least. People don't simply go from hating each other to being vulnerable and sharing a bed in a matter of hours. He didn't know what had got into them and it scared him how much he enjoyed the moments they shared the previous night. It scared him how good it felt to be vulnerable to her. And the feeling he got on his chest every time he looked at her was the most terrifying of them all.
Feeling a clench on his chest, Lando carefully slipped out of bed and changed into fresh clothes, did his entire morning routine and, in less than 15 minutes later, he was downstairs in the restaurant for some breakfast. Since it was so early, and everyone was still tired from the weekend, he managed to sit alone and think. The last thing he needed was company.
Eventually, the hotel started to get crowded, and a few fans were starting to recognize him among the people at the restaurant. Feeling cranky, he thought it was best for him to go back to his room and get ready for his flight later that day. Zak had already texted him, saying he hoped to have a meeting on the flight. So he needed to rest his mind.
Lando hadn't decided how to behave around Y/N yet. She was woken up by the time he arrived, but was having a shower while he was gone. He packed everything he needed while she kept the bathroom busy. She only came out ten minutes later, dressed in comfortable clothes for the flight.
“Good morning”, she opened a small smile for Lando, who didn't retribute it. 
“Morning”, he mumbled, taking his needed things for a shower.
Y/N was surprised with his behaviour, but decided not to comment on it. Who the fuck goes from cuddling to no reaction in only a few hours? Only someone as complicated as Lando Norris. 
“At what time we'll be leaving?”, she ignored how he acted and decided to act just as cold.
“We have to be at the airport at one”, he said and Y/N only nodded to his response.
But she just couldn't help herself. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah. Fine”, he shrugged before locking himself in the bathroom.
The rest of the trip was exactly like that. Y/N only heard Lando's voice when necessary. He only shifted his mood during the meeting he had with Zak on the plane. Not very interested in talking about racing, she chose to put on her earpods and drift away into music.
They only met again a week later, when Y/N was invited to attend the Cannes Film Festival. To not make it seem like their relationship was one-sided, they took advantage that his off weekend was supposed to be during the event. Lando met her in France, where they had booked a suite with two rooms this time, so they would only have to meet in common areas such as the living and dining room. 
What surprised Y/N was that Lando was back to his asshole behaviour once again.
“You never, ever shut up, do you?”, he sighed, taking a spot on the living room's couch.
"I'm just saying that we're late for a brunch and you're fucking sitting down, Norris", she folded her arms and puffed her chest, making sure he knew how upset she was.
"I'm not required to be at this brunch. Just need to be with you at the red carpet", Lando put his feet up on the coffee table and turned the TV on, pretending not to care. Y/N promptly removed his feet from the table.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? I literally always go out of my schedule, fly out away from home, just to be at your goddamn work events, and you can't do the same for me?”
"We're not a real couple, Y/N. I don't know if you realized that", Lando squinted his eyes as he spat out the words. Words to which were daggers right across her chest.
She didn't know why it pained her so much to hear those words; to see how aggressive he was behaving. That was not the same Lando that a week ago begged for her to comfort him and pulled her closer before falling asleep. He wasn't the bubbly and happy Lando Norris she saw on track.
Trying to fight back some tears, Y/N turned her back and retreated to her room. “You do you, Norris. I'm gonna finish getting ready because, contrary to you, I care about my career”.
She had to fight really hard to not call his PR team and call this whole thing off. Lando wasn't committing to his part of the agreement, so she didn't feel like it was fair. But she washed her face, took a deep breath and got ready for brunch. By the time she was out the room, Lando was waiting dressed in a linen button up and short's, perfect for a casual spring day.
Y/N didn't say anything and carried on her way out, him right behind her. When they got to the hotel lobby, they put on their little show, with his hand on the small of her back and opening doors for her. Later that day on the internet, people were melting with the pictures of them in line for brunch, with the sweet kisses being shared between them.
But the real commotion came on the next day, when they attended a Martin Scorsese film premiere, looking like the hottest couple in Cannes. Lando dressed up in a beautiful and classic black suit, while Y/N chose a draped baby pink dress that made her feel like a goddess. When she came out of her room after hours with stylists, makeup artists and hairdressers, Lando felt the air being knocked out of his lungs and he did his best at pretending not to care.
Their fans, on the other hand, cared too much. Their names climbed up to worldwide trending topics; their picture on the red was all over Instagram. People loved how amazing they looked together. Lando and VN really could be a breathtaking couple if they were actually together. It was the perfect combo: the rising star and the sunshine athletic boy.
“A match made in hell”, he whispered in her ear as all the cameras blinded them with the flashes.
"I fucking hate you", she whispered back, and Lando felt like those words were a stab right in his chest.
Of course he knew Y/N hated him. He himself has made sure those feelings were known. But this is the first time he's heard it since the night they shared in Miami. Why does he now care that she hates him?
The words flowed so easily out of her mouth. She was angry at him. Absolutely livid by his behaviour on the previous day, or the fact that he simply pretended the last grand prix didn't happen. So if Lando was going to be petty, two can play this game.
The entire night was filled with snarky comments. Lando made sure to show how he wasn't enjoying the premiere, and Y/N had a comment for every comma that came out of his mouth. She could say anything to try pissing him off. What was making Lando angry, on the other hand, was seeing other men looking her up and down, just like a piece of meat. Didn't they have anything else better to do?
After Y/N spent good ten minutes talking to a very hot model, who was flirting with her the whole time, Lando gave up on waiting for him to leave and approached them, letting his hand go around her waist, securing her close to his body.
“Jesus, don't they realize you're taken?”, Lando mumbled, as he frowned at the model, now long gone.
"I thought we weren't a real couple. So there's nothing wrong with other men flirting with me", she provoked, feeling his fingers tighten around her waist.
“There is when, publicly, you're still mine. Or don’t you remember my one and only rule?”, you could see the red creeping up his neck. Was he actually jealous? It can't be.
“You really are a book I can't read”, she sighed, making an exit towards the theatre where the movie would be exhibited.
Thank God for long movies, because they wouldn't have to listen to each other's voices for three hours. But after a standing ovation once the credit's started rolling up, Y/N proceeded to try talking to as many people as she could at the cocktail party after the session. At the end of the day, she had talked to really important directors and producers, who in the future might think of her while doing a new project.
Lando, on the other hand, stood by her side and looked bored. He hated the film, thinking it was too conceptual for his liking, not to mention too long for a fucking boring plot. Y/N was getting angry at his behaviour and was making their deal go through the sky.
“I swear to God, if you keeping doing this, I'll call our team and end this whole fucking thing”, she complained, making him roll his eyes.
“Fuck off, you're still full on flirting with other men in front of me. I'm not the only one fucking this agreement”, by that time, they were alone in a secluded area of the party.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Norris, I'm working, not flirting, for fuck’s sake. This is the same thing as talking to sponsors. I'm not fucking flirting with any of them”, she was visibly angry at his behaviour.
“Well, it doesn't look like it”.
The fight was taken back to their hotel room and they did their best to make their discussion go unnoticed by other people. But once the doors were closed, they fought like they were married with children.
“This is disrespectful”, Lando shot when they brought up the men she talked to through the night.
“It's work, Norris. I don't know why you're so fucking jealous”.
“Because, we're in a goddamn relationship, Y/N. You can't go out all flirting with other men”.
“You said yourself we weren't in a real relationship. So why are you so jealous?”
“I'm not”, he reaffirmed, making her chuckle.
“Prove it”, she crossed her arms and daringly arched her brows.
She made every molecule of his body agitated. Once, Lando thought it was anger, for all the times they fought without having a reason and all the days she behaved like a brat, making his blood boil under his skin. Now, after the crash and the moment they shared in that tiny driver’s room, he wasn’t so sure anymore. 
He was furious; absolutely livid, without knowing exactly what he wanted. Normally, Lando is a very decisive man. But when it came to Y/N, things were just a mess in his head. And right now, looking at her with her arched brows and folded arms, almost daring him to explode at her, he knew that there was only one thing he could do to end up with the fire that was consuming him.
The next second, Lando had his lips on Y/N, furiously attacking them in the neediest kiss of all time. She was taken by surprise and actually had to wait a few seconds to reciprocate anything. She had that look on her face, provoking him into the edge, waiting for a shout that would give her a single reason to hate him. Now he’s got her on the hook and there was no way to run. Actually, Y/N didn’t actually want to run anyway.
Lando had pressed her against the wall, a leg right between her thighs, keeping them apart and their bodies close. He had a hand around her neck, and another one on her hips, securing her against the wall. The pressure he put on her throat felt delicious. No one had ever held her like that before. Her panty was soaking wet not even two seconds later.
It only felt better when he moved his kisses down, trailing them to her neck. His lips sucked on her sweet spot, right under her ear, making her moan with the hot sensation over her skin. Also, if she wasn’t turned on at that point, feeling Lando’s hard on her thigh absolutely did the job. And if he was playing a game, she knew how to dance around it as well. Quickly, one of her hands was palming him over his trousers. He moved back to her mouth, kissing her as if his life depended on it, and biting her bottom lip when the pleasure got too much for him.
“Stop it”, he moaned against her lips, making her smile. “You can only touch me when I say you can touch me”.
“Bullshit”, she dared. “Look at you, Lando. You can’t get enough of my touches. I know you want them all”.
“Fucking…”, Lando removed his knee from between her legs and helped her kneel on the ground right in front of him. He leaned forward and softly landed his hand on her chin, making Y/N look up. She tried to put her best innocent look and he was absolutely done for her. “Open your mouth, baby”.
Y/N opened her mouth for just a little bit, and Lando slipped his thumb in so she could suck on it. Then after a while, he replaced it with his middle and index finger, going in deeper and making her almost gag on his hands. Tired of playing games, he kneeled as well, levelling their eyes, before letting his hand travel to the zip on her back.
“Come on, pretty girl. I want to see you”, he left a few soft kisses on her cheek and daringly opened the zip. “Can I take this off?”, she nodded, but Lando wasn’t satisfied. “I need to hear you say the words”.
“Yes, please”, she pleaded and soon her dress was on the floor, exposing her bare tits from the lack of bra and lacy black thong. Lando didn’t waste a second before dipping his head into her nipples, sucking, biting and playing with both of them. Y/N was a moaning mess in second, pulling his head closer to her body as she felt fantastic with just his lips on her nipples. “Lan, oh my God. Please, I wanna feel you”.
“You misbehaved”, he smirked, getting away from her tits to undo his belt. “I told you not to touch me and just wait. Now, if you wanna touch me, you better open up”.
He quickly lowered his trousers along with his underwear and his hard cock came hard, slapping on his stomach. Lando was sure he could die happily at the sight of Y/N’s eyes brightening and her mouth automatically opening wider for him. “Good girl”, he praised, taking her face by the chin and bringing his cock to her lips.
Y/N’s mouth felt so warm and amazing; Lando was losing it. He started trusting his hips into her face, making his dick go deeper in her throat and her gagging sending delicious vibrations up his body. He was surprised when one of her hands grabbed his balls and massaged them, sending him over the edge just quick enough. He had to pull away before coming on her throat. Y/N pouted in the absence of his cock, still being attached to it by a string of spit and pre-cum. Lando used one of his hands to wipe it off before kissing her again.
“Baby girl, I need to last longer, and you’re not helping at all”, he whispered on her lips once again, making Y/N giggle. What she wasn’t expecting, though, was a hand sneaking into her pussy, his middle finger gathering the juices pooling on her panty. She let an audible moan out, making him know how much she was enjoying that. “Do you want my fingers?”
“Yes”, she breathed out and Lando picked her from the floor, quickly taking her to bed, where they could get more comfortable. He slowly removed her underwear and tossed it around the room, the place getting filled with her glorious smell. 
“Spread your legs wider, love”, Lando commanded and she immediately responded. “Good, just like that”. Y/N was going feral with the praise, and he got it right away. “You have a praise kink, pretty girl? Oh, that’s so sweet”.
Now that he knew that, Lando was going to put that information to use. He went back to her mouth though, this time slowing down the pace of her kiss, but the intensity was just like before. As much as he wanted to jump right in and just fuck the shit out of her, he would do anything to make this last for as long as he could. “If I am to have her for only one night, I want it to be unforgettable”, he thought.
Y/N was drunk on his kisses; feeling her soaking wet core brushing on his bare thigh and his tongue furiously sliding against hers. She just wanted to feel him, so she guided his hand to her pussy and pleaded with her eyes. Being a good boy, Lando slipped a finger inside her and pumped it inside slowly, making her lose it, throwing her head back in pleasure.
“Yes, right there. Oh my… Lando”, her hands flew to his back, fingers digging on his skin. Y/N started to roll her hips against his hand and he smiled at her attempt to feel even better. “I need more, please. One more”.
“One more finger, baby?”, Lando immediately obeyed, loving the sweet moan that came out of her mouth right after. “Come on, tell me what you want”.
“Kiss me, Lan”, she pulled his head closer to hers and her lips met his midway. Lando could’ve died happily just like that. He was getting addicted to her kisses, specially now that they were wanted and asked for. They weren’t a stunt act. They were behind closed doors. She was doing it willingly. 
“Does that feel good?”, he asked between kisses and she nodded, feeling a knot tightening around her stomach.
“I’m gonna cum”, she grunted, making him start circling her clit with his thumb. “Shit, shit. I’m cumming”.
Her pussy clenched around his finger and now he was covered with her juices. Knowing it would make her go crazy, Lando brought his fingers up to his lips and licked them, moaning at the taste of her sweetness. “God, makes me want to get it straight from the source. You taste so good, baby girl”.
Y/N sat on bed and jumped right into his neck, wrapping her arms around his head to kiss him intensely. Lando was surprised by that, but he couldn’t get enough of her kisses. He has been learning to love them for a long time now, but it was so different; so magical. 
“You want to eat me out, uhm?”, she asked him, making Lando arch his eyebrow and smile. “I asked you a question”.
“Well, I would not be opposed to it”.
“That’s not an answer, Lando”, she stopped kissing him, throwing her back against the mattress and getting comfortable between the pillows. She was not going to make him say it. He was the dominant; he wasn’t the one to say those kinds of things. But when Y/N spread her legs and started to play with herself, he just couldn’t keep it to himself.
“Fuck yes, I do. I want to eat you out, pretty girl”, he fell down, head right between her thighs, and started to trail kisses up her legs, until his lips were wrapped around her clit. If Y/N was trying to contain herself, she just couldn’t do it with how good it felt to him eating her pussy so deliciously.
But with their history, she just couldn’t help but provoke him. “You can do better than this”, Y/N dared, as if she wasn’t a moaning mess a few seconds before. And Lando wasn’t one to turn down challenges.
He pulled both of her legs over his shoulder, securing his head on her pussy and making her more comfortable. This time, he started sucking on her clit while working two fingers inside of her. He was too busy to say anything, but Y/N had a whole fucking lot to say about his work.
“Fuck, baby, you’re doing so good. Shit, you just know how to find the right spot. Gonna make me cum again, uhm?”, she was almost screaming in pleasure. When Lando started brushing the right spot inside of her, she felt like she was going to explode. It was different than any other orgasm she ever had in her life. She cummed so hard on his mouth, screaming his name in response.
“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, Lando had a beautiful smile on his face, that was covered in her juices. “Shit, that was so perfect”.
“You did so good”, she let a hand up to his face, rubbing circles on his cheek with an adorable smile on her face. But then, her hand fell to his cock, pulling him closer to her as she jerked him. “But now it’s time for both of us to feel good”.
Lando kissed her once again, just because the kisses were an addiction by now. Her hands pumping him only made it all feel so much better. Just the thought of having her around his cock made it twitch.
“Eager much?” She smirked on his lips, but Lando didn’t reply. Instead, he pulled her legs to wrap around his torso and guided his cock to her entrance, head brushing her pussy and collecting all the wetness. Y/N moaned and whined just with the contact.
“Eager much?” He joked back before putting just the tip inside. She felt so tight around him, Lando had to take a second to put it all in, needing to push one of her legs over his shoulder, just to give him more access. “Holy fuck, you feel so good around me. Baby, so tight for me. Fuck yes”.
He had closed his eyes, but she gripped on his throat, making him look down again. “Let me see your eyes, Lan”, she asked. His ocean green blue-ish orbs met hers and he quickly wrapped one of his hands on her throat as well. 
“Say my name again”, it was his turn to ask, and she moaned with the request. “Say it”.
“Lando”, she whispered, his cock now moving delicately inside of her. 
“Louder”, he demanded, picking up the pace.
“Lando!”, she screamed, making him slammer down his cock inside her. “I want you to ruin me”.
“Your wish is my command”. Now it was a matter of honour, and Lando was going to give what she asked. So he found the best pace, keeping the movements firm, yet slow enough to not be too much.
“You’re so big, love”, she praised, brushing her hands on his cheek, making him look her in the eyes. Lando looked so pretty while trying to contain his moans to speak. “I can’t get enough of you. I’m so full”
“You take me so well, my love. Fuck me”, his movements were getting sloppier, and she could feel his cock already twitching inside of her. Y/N also noticed that he was holding back his force, trying not to overstep. 
“Don’t hold back, baby. You can use me”, she encouraged, and that was all Lando needed to hear before quickening the pace. And then, it was getting too hard for him to hold back. He wanted to last longer, but it all felt so good. Lucky enough, Y/N started to clench around him. “I’m gonna cum, Lan. Please!”
“Let’s cum together, pretty girl. Come on, we can do this”.
He glued his eyes with her, the hand on her throat not letting them break eye contact as the waves of pleasure crashed over their bodies. Y/N came first, but less than 5 seconds later, he pulled out to come on her stomach. She pumped him outside, getting him dry, while he retributed the favour with his fingers until they were both done.
Y/N had to wait a second to come back to her senses, but Lando promptly took a cloth from the bathroom and cleaned the mess he made over her. Then, too tired to function, he dropped his body over her and pressed a few kisses all over her face. It was like now that he had finally had her, he just wanted to curl up with her and forget about the whole world. And she was willing to let him do just that, because that was exactly what she wanted as well.
He fell asleep just a few seconds into their comfortable silence. Y/N continued to roll her fingers through his curls, lulling him into deep slumber, as she thought about what had just happened. It was still unbelievable in her head, but she kept replaying every moment, already missing his touch. And if her feelings for Lando were already confusing because of that night after his crash, this only made things worse. But having him sleeping on her arms, his digits digging on her skin as he clings tight onto her, made her forget about all her worries.
He woke up for just a few seconds and caught her staring at him. Instead of pretending she wasn’t looking, Y/N cracked him a smile. Lando opened an even wider smile before pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Let’s go to sleep, angel. Come on”, he got off her to turn off the lamp on the night stand, turning the room dark.
He found a spot for his head on a pillow and missed the warmth of Y/N. So he pulled her closer until she was lying on top of him. The skin to skin contact felt so intimate and comfortable for them. No fabric or cloth between them, just their bodies holding in together. And with his soft hands on her hair, Y/N fell asleep listening to Lando’s heartbeat, who had his own funny pace: quick in adoration for her, and then slow, after she calmed him down.
She would be the death of him someday.
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⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙
⤳ 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - @celestialams @lizaschronicles @kapsylia @igotnorrrizz @hiireadstufff @bishhhitsaurionn @mrsmaybank13 @bborra @sltwins@riccdannyf1 @kapsylia @67-angelofthelordme-67 @ctrlyomomma @lan4cha16 @alltoomaples @ellen3101 @hellyesjaehyun @tastebaldwin @sweate-r-weathe-r @carmenita122 @m0cha-bunny @lqvesoph @itscrzy @fangirlvibez @poppyflower-22 @livelovesports @logischeroktopus @happy-jj @saturnbloom77 @cmleitora @formulaal @secretgal66 @taisferrari-blog @ellen3101 @sunsshinesunny @eclipsedcherry @tems13 @readingbringsjoy @naanibubbletimmispeach @kenzeyeballs @alilcloudy @architect-2015 @tillyt04 @eringaitskill @honeyhatty12 @dreamercrowd @demig0d0fapollo @mxmtewnz @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @beyond-the-ashes @ijustgomessitupx @floraav @laiba26mindflay3r @books0fever @marialovesf1 @sltwins @ourteenagetragedy @katieschry1 @loveofmylife12 @diaa-20 @urfavsgf @chilisandmilk @elleeeee21 @likedbygaslyy
crossed means i can't tag you! dm me and maybe we can get it fixed
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cannellee · 8 months ago
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TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆
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୨୧ alpha! tokyorev x omega! reader (pairing : chifuyu, mitsuya, kokonoi)
— them having feelings for their friend's sister
MY MASTERLIST: ☆
(I did take a LOT of inspiration from kokonoi and akane's story lol)
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ALPHA! CHIFUYU (takemichi's sister)
he met you coincidentally while dropping a bloody takemichi to your front door. never once did your brother mention you to his friend, so you can only imagine his surprise upon seeing a cute omega with sleepy eyes collecting takemichi in the dead of the night.
you handled your brother carelessly inside while mumbling a quick thank you to chifuyu, just wishing you could go back to your nest.
the next day, chifuyu brings up the topic carefully to takemichi, saying how he didn't know he had a sister. he tries to catch a few infos about you but he isn't that straightforward.
when takemichi and him grow even closer, he spends most of his time at your house so you become quite accustomed to his presence.
you weren't that please to have a foreign alpha at your place that often, but chifuyu has that warm personality and kind nature which makes it easier to break the ice. he often offers his help with trickier tasks, like pushing the furniture out of your way when you're cleaning or carrying heavy items and putting the trash out.
he didn't know it could feel this great to be reliable to someone but chifuyu does love it when you instinctively ask for his help now. he's more than happy to oblige.
he feels privileged to be able to approach you this intimately. it's all thanks to his friendship with takemichi that he can interact with you this often, and he makes sure to never take it for granted. he wants you to grow accustomed to him so he tries his best to be the less intimidating possible. when he crosses your doorstep, his throws out his gang speech and acts like a perfect gentleman.
he still gets heavily shy and embarrassed whenever he talks to you, so much to the point that it has become noticeable even to your oblivious brother.
as i said, chifuyu loves to help you out in diverse tasks. once you know each other better, he's following you around when you're out for groceries, insisting he carries your bags, all the while glaring at any alphas. you're not dating, but chifuyu has the hope that you'll let him court you. he's still trying to gather his courage, but with the support of takemichi who's sure chifuyu is a good person and can be a good alpha for you (he did lecture him about what would happen to his ass if he treated you poorly though), he's slowly getting more and more confident. just bear with him!
                                    · · ୨୧ · ·
ALPHA! MITSUYA (draken's sister)
mitsuya feels really conflicted about his growing crush on his childhood friend's sister. he knows you since the primary school and has watched over you kindly since then since you belonged to his close circle of loved ones.
his thoughts about you changed once you presented. you were cute before, but when your omega side started to show more, you grew even more attractive and endearing. mitsuya's own instincts reacted to you and began to manifest in a way that was definitely not a friendly fondness.
he tried to deny it at first, out of respect for draken who trusted him enough to approach his precious sister. most people didn't let outsiders this close to their omega family member. mitsuya didn't want to break that trust and decided to put some distance between you.
but it wasn't easy to just ignore your confused eyes whenever he would try and imagine a plausible excuse to escape your intoxicating scent. in the end, the affection was mutual so there was nothing he could really do.
still, mitsuya felt like he was taking advantage of you. he carried this guilty feeling because of how casually he would talk to you even though his mind was flooded with thoughts he shouldn't have about his best friend's sister. and you were so innocent, so willing to go along with anything he said. god he didn't know what to do.
whatever dilemma is going on in his head will eventually crush down. he has some insane self control, but if you do try to take it further yourself or confront him about his new behaviour, he'll stop immediately and admit his love.
he treats you so well! no matter when or where, he's all ears and have eyes always on you. he's very responsible so draken wouldn't actually mind if you guys ended up dating. still, regardless if mitsuya is his friend or not, draken himself is an alpha, so he's cautious at first and keeping an eye on the both of you. but he soon realises that his friend definitely is a good person through and through and that his worries that only manifested once mitsuya started to court you, are totally unjustified.
                                    · · ୨୧ · ·
ALPHA! KOKONOI (inupi's sister)
he's utterly obssessed with you since childhood. you guys basically grew up together, in the same neighbourhood. he would always come over to your house as he was shameless about his attraction for you.
that's why both you and inupi know it all about his little crush, that's no secret for anybody. but none of you expected for his love to only get more serious as time passed.
ever since you're kids, even when he hasn't presented yet, he was trying his best to act reliable and strong for you. he doesn't show weakness and made thousands of promises to you. he's very romantic.
growing up, his love doesn't lessen and you start to take him seriously. he's still straightforward with his own feelings for you and acts as your protective friend for as long as you let him. most people would assume you're dating but you're not actually.
you somehow build this reassuring dynamic where kokonoi watches over you like an alpha would with his omega, but none of you admit you like the other. he's asking about your day, tells you about the people he has talked with today, worries if you ate and slept well and makes sure nobody's bothering you.
kokonoi is deeply committed to the process of him making you fall in love with him. he gives you gifts and tries to make everything as memorable as possible. he does sometimes go a little further and tests the water by offering you little collars, nest items and other really intimate stuff made to claim.
inupi sees everything from the sidelines and actually finds the both of you silly. but strangely it's heartwarming to see his best friend struggle so much to win you over.
he's fine with whatever the outcome may be. he sees how kokonoi is sweet and delicate with you and he knows he'll make a great partner. it does feel weird that his friend is courting his sister but he gets over it eventually.
kokonoi didn't even have to get the approval of your brother as he made it clear since childhood that he was definitely not ready to give up on you. it was something evident in inupi's mind that kokonoi's persistence would eventually triumph.
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cloudraker · 2 months ago
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What would the tfp autobots (your pick) reactions would be if their neutral NB cybertonian ally goes, "Oh? You didn't know? I have a Conjux now :)" and brings the motherfucker predaking.
But hey! Atleast the predacon is a green flag. The man would do anything for the reader, respects them, and is utterly smitten. At that point the autobots wouldn't have to worry about him anymore since reader is their ally
This has been rotting in my inbox for so long,, anon if you see this thank you for your patience
TFP Preadaking with a Neutral S/O
Under the cut :)
Setting this after the war/the return to Cybertron
Assuming you didn't fight in the war, you're probably the most normal person he knows. You're probably the most normal person on Cybertron at this point. The others don't think much of it when you start spending more and more time out by yourself- there's a lot to take in now that the war is over and cybertron is so different
Your little adventures start at a few hours, then it's half a day, and before long you're gone for days at at time. That's when they start asking questions
Where have you been going? What could possibly be so important that you go missing for days at a time when there is- what do you mean you met somebody?
Having to explain that yes you met somebody and yes they're on Cybertron and well you don't know if it's a good idea if they all met him. It's all very "he goes to a different school you don't know him"
They eventually get you to agree and when you actually bring him around the Autobots are.. well they sure are there and that sure is a guy you've brought home
Predakind, to his credit, is on his best behavior. He's standing behind you (a respectable distance away from them) as you talk the others out of shooting him then and there
He doesn't stay long, much to your disappointment. A few conversations with both sides reveals their past history, leaving you caught in the middle.
The overall consensus on the Autobot side is "you're an adult, we can't stop you but it's also a really bad idea-"
Ratchet would be the most understanding- which isn't saying much. He's upset but he also knows you don't have the same feelings towards Predaking as he and the other Autobots do- to you, he's just some guy you met. While he makes his many grievances known, he also makes it clear that if anything happens you'll still have people supporting you
Magnus is.. conflicted. On one hand, part of him is glad that there's some sense of normalcy for somebody- a hope that things will be okay. On the other hand, he doesn't have an other hand
He doesn't count as an Autobot but Knockout would warn you against the predacon, calling him things like dangerous and a brute while also trying to dig any gossip out of you. Will begrudgingly make sure you're polished and shiny before you go out if you ask him for help. Very "you're going out dress like that?"
Once they get more familiar with the idea, Predaking starts making the occasional appearance
At first it's just flying by overhead, letting you know he's still around even if you haven't been able to see each other much lately. Then it's coming to meet you when you've got plans and then he's making very awkward small talk with Bulkhead while he waits for you to come out
Everybody starts to relax a bit when they see just how good he is to you. This hulking beast of a robot, built for fighting and dragged into a time not meant for him, bending to take your hand and kiss your knuckles whenever he sees you. How you never come back with a so much as a scratch on your pain and only with good things to say
He gets some serious side-eye when he enters the base for the first time, and everybody is a bit tense, but it (thankfully) all goes well
He's eventually asked to help with some repairs or some mundane task and- while somewhat reluctant- he complies. For you, of course, in an attempt to make life just a little bit easier
It's a very, very slow journey to having both your partner and the Autobots start to build even a semblance of trust, but you're willing to put in the work and Predaking is willing to put in the work for you
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kjupchurch-xx · 3 months ago
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Conflicting Feelings Part Six
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As the morning sunset swept through my hotel room's balcony view, I felt Hugh begin stirring in his sleep, "G'day, gorgeous." He said sleepily as I felt him start stretching. 
I smiled, "Good morning, sexy." I purred, leaning up to peck his lips before moving out of the bed towards the bathroom to turn on the shower. 
Today was going to be bittersweet. I was going back home today, my stay in LA had come to an end. It was time for me to head back to the East Coast, to the beautiful, busy town of New York City. Hugh was in LA for the filming of the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie, so I'd be going back to NYC solo. Truth be told, I missed my condo in New York, but I knew I'd miss my favorite Aussie even more. 
Now that things are beginning to happen, the thought of leaving breaks my heart. I didn't realize I was reacting to my thoughts until his voice interrupted the thoughts racing through my brain. I felt two arms snake around me, "What's wrong, my love?" He asked softly. 
I sniffled, quickly wiping a fallen tear from my cheek, "I'm leaving today to go back home." I said as my voice trembled. 
He frowned, "Today?" He asked, making sure he heard me correctly. I nodded, staying silent, trying to control my flooding emotions. "Do you have to go back home today?" He asked. 
I sighed, "I paid for a round trip, so my flight's already booked. I can't get a refund and I can't afford to lose the money." 
He kissed my forehead, "I'll take care of it." He said simply. 
I looked at him, shaking my head. "I can't let you do that." 
He smiled, "I want to and I can." pecking my lips again. 
I rolled my eyes, "I don't want you doing that. I paid for first class and that's not cheap." 
He chuckled, "You do realize I make millions, right love? I'm making $20 million from Deadpool. I can assure you a first class plane ticket will not break me."
I shrugged, "And I'm staying where?" 
He looked at his phone, "With Noldsy and Blake, and of course me. You have to babysit their kids from time to time, but it's not that bad." He chuckled.  
I looked at him, "You seriously want me to cancel my flight?" I asked, grabbing my phone. 
He pouted, "I would be heartbroken if you didn't." 
I smiled, "And Ryan and Blake are okay with this?" I questioned. 
He rolled his eyes, "C'mon, you know Ryan and Blake love you." 
I sighed, "Okay, if you insist..." I logged onto my app and canceled my flight, luckily receiving a 50% refund for a last minute cancellation from the flight insurance I'd purchased when I first paid for the ticket. "It's cancelled." I said, throwing my phone down, pulling him into the shower with me. 
As we washed off he spoke, "We'll drop your rental car off when we head out. We can take mine back to Ryan and Blake's." 
I nodded, "Okay, but I need to make a stop and get some more clothes. I packed for five days and I'm not wearing the same outfits for another week." 
He kissed my forehead, while rinsing my hair out, "We can do that." 
After our shower and packing up the hotel room, we parted ways to drop off my rental car, Hugh following close behind me in his. 
Hugh's POV:  
As I followed close behind her, I was overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the course of knowing her. We'd met each other in 2020 when she starred as an extra on a show I was working on. I had very little interaction with her on the show, but backstage was a different story. She approached me and told me how she was starstruck to work with Wolverine, which made me laugh. 
She was only 22 years old when I met her, I was 51, turning 52. She was an attractive young woman. She was funny, she was intelligent and she was humble. I thought nothing about her until we'd cut up on set and spent hours talking. She had a boyfriend and I had a wife at home, not to mention I like older women. We'd remained friends until she came to my rescue when my father died. That's when things went wild for me. Several things took place that her pride will not allow her to talk about, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. 
When I arrived back to NYC and to Deb, I separated myself from her. COVID made it easier. I kept trying to block the feelings out because I knew they were wrong. I forced myself to focus on Deb, and Deb only, but that only made us grow further apart in our marriage. 
While in England, not only did I walk in on her changing and saw her breasts, there was one night she had too much to drink and confessed many things to me that she has no memory of. She talked about her difficult upbringing, she talked about her failed relationships, but she doesn't have any recollection of admitting to me that she loved me and dreamed that one day I'd be hers. Or how if my marriage ever ends, she was claiming me for herself. That night, I'd had a few drinks myself and we shared a kiss. 
I thought about how after I walked in on her, she'd became what I'd imagine when I'd wank off. I'd imagine how perfect her breasts were, how I wanted to run my hands down every curve on her body as I fucked her, and how her pussy would taste, or how tight it would be around my fingers. I thought about how much I'd want to pleasure her and make her orgasm so much that she couldn't function anymore. Just the thought of her made my dick throb.
But, it was more than just sex with her. She was genuinely my favorite human being, besides my children and of course, Ryan Reynolds. She was there for me during one of the hardest times of my life. She keeps me grounded and focused on the bigger picture, even if I struggle to see it. I'd spent 20 years thinking I was with the love of my life, until I realized I didn't know the meaning of it when she came to England that night. 
Main Reader's POV: 
As we arrived at the drop-off for the rental car, I quickly returned the keys, heading back outside only to be bombarded by photographers. They photographed Hugh, me, us in the car together, etc as they asked if we were an item. 
"They're fucking relentless, jesus christ." I mumbled. 
He chuckled, "You act like you haven't had the press bother you." 
I giggled, "Not to that extent. That was different."
He reached over grabbing my hand, interlocking it with his, bringing it to his lips, placing a small kiss on my knuckles, "Did you want to get clothes now?" 
I blushed, shaking my head, "Let's get to Ryan's first. Let them calm down and then we'll go." I said regarding the photographers. 
He chuckled, "Okay, we can do that." 
The drive to Ryan's wasn't long. It was full of Hugh singing along to songs on the radio. He had a beautiful voice and hearing it on screen was nothing compared to hearing it in person. About 5 minutes later, we arrived at Ryan's place. Ryan and Blake weren't home. Ryan was filming scenes and Blake was promoting her new movie. The kids were with a nanny since Nanny Hugh had been MIA all weekend. 
As we walked in and made it to the bedroom Hugh was staying in, he ran his fingers through his beard, "I've gotta shave this." He said to himself. 
I smirked, "Can I help?" 
He giggled, "Can you do the Wolverine shave? It has to be perfect for the film." 
I shrugged, "It can't be too hard to shave mutton chops."
"Shawn will kill me if you fuck this up." He laughed, handing me a set of clippers. 
I giggled, grabbing them. "I won't fuck this up. Do you know how in love with Logan I was as a child?" 
He playfully rolled his eyes, "Don't say it like that. It makes me feel old and it's making me feel weird. You know I was 32 or 33 when I filmed that."
I shrugged, "I was 4 when it was released." 
He cringed, "God, stop. Let's talk about something else." 
I chuckled as I began shaving the infamous mutton chops, "I love making you uncomfortable." I said playfully. 
He looked up at me, "I'm not giving you a reaction while you're shaving my face, but I've noticed." 
As I finished up showing him my kick ass skills as a barber, we heard a voice downstairs, "Oh, Hugh! Where you at big fella?! It's your favorite Canadian. A little birdie called the media just told me you're with a hot little number. Is she here?" 
We quickly jumped at the sound of his voice, looking at one another, making a run for the door to meet him downstairs.  Ryan looked at us, still wearing the Deadpool suit, "Ah, there she is. Hot little number, this is my humble abode" He chuckled as he swayed his arms around showing me his living room. 
"Why are you in your suit, mate? They actually let you bring Deadpool's suit home?" Hugh asked, smirking, knowing Ryan was instructed to not leave set with the suit. 
Ryan smirked, "Sir, I will have you know, I stole this suit." 
I joked, "Levy is going to beat you."
Ryan laughed, "He can try, but no one can beat me in this suit, darling." 
I rolled my eyes, "Mutton Chops! Look at you." He exclaimed at Hugh, noticing the freshly shaved face. 
Hugh laughed as Ryan's face got serious, "Seriously though, I have a question for you." He said, pointing towards me. 
"And that is?" I asked, furrowing my brows. 
Ryan looked at Hugh and I, "We're rounding up people to play the Deadpool variants. Blake is Lady Deadpool, but there's another female one. Do you want to do it?" He asked. 
I gasped, "Are you serious?" my eyes widened. 
He smirked, "As a heart attack, sister. Plus, I figured it would give Hughy here more time to spend with you."  
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azrielbrainrot · 6 months ago
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When Prayers Fall on Deaf Ears
Pairing: Azriel x F!Reader
Description: For the first time in his life, Azriel is not ready to accept death.
Warnings: Death, All Hurt No Comfort
Word Count: 1500
Notes: I'm so sorry. I didn't proofread this so I'm sorry for that too.
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How could the Mother be so cruel?
After centuries of walking this world alone, of throwing himself at dangerous missions and surviving multiple wars, how come when he finally found something worth living for, his life gets taken away?
Azriel can hear you anguish cries for help, screaming at Rhys to get a healer, can hear your reassurances that he's going to be okay, but the truth is he can barely feel your hands on him, can barely feel his body at all. He's taken several falls like this, but this pain is different. He knows better than to check, knowing he wouldn't be able to bear the sight, - probably wouldn't even be able to complete the movement on his own - but he knows his left wing was mostly ripped off, his arm and leg might be in similar ruined states. The realization that he'll never be able to take to the skies makes him close his eyes for a second, tears gathering in them.
Everything happened so quickly, he had barely reacted in time, sending up a shield around him at the same time Cassian did. He doesn't know what kind of magic that was, had never seen anything like it before, but he knows if it hadn't been for the shield, there wouldn't be any piece of his body left, and his brother would have met the same fate.
His shadows were completely silent, uncharacteristically so, unmoving as they lay under his body, but, even if they weren't singing to him, Azriel could feel them mourning, could feel them disconnect, no longer following his command. They had been with him for most of his life, and he hopes they know how grateful he is for them, for the way they stayed by his side, protecting him and those around him, and they remain until his last breath escapes his body. He truly couldn't have made it this long without them - they were part of his identity.
It's your frantic calls of his name that has him opening his eyes again, blinking a couple of times to try and focus on your beautiful face. This is probably the last time he'll be able to see it so he should enjoy it as much as possible. You send him a relieved look when you notice him watching your face, leaning closer until he can faintly feel your breath on his skin. “Rhys went to get Thesan, alright? You're going to be okay, Az,” you promise, struggling to keep your voice from failing while trying your hardest to choke back your tears, and he struggles to focus on the words, the sound reaching his ears as if he was under water.
He won't be okay, you both know that. No matter how good a healer is, there are some things that can't be helped. Sometimes they forget given their long lifetimes, but fae are still mortals. Everyone around him seems to have come to the same conclusion, but they're all unwilling to accept it, stubborn as they are. Gods, he's going to miss them so much. Azriel almost wants to tell you to call Rhys back, so he can see his brother one last time. No healer is going to be able to fix this anyway, not even Thesan. He's not sure if he can form the words though, even breathing is becoming too much to bear.
Trying his best to pay attention, Azriel tries to focus on his family - the people who have made his life worth living. He can hear the three Archeron sisters crying somewhere at his side, holding onto each other. They've all lost so much in their short lives, Azriel hates that he's going to add to their suffering. After a particularly loud sob escapes Feyre, he realizes his mental shields are probably down, making her privy to his thoughts, but he can't bring himself to care, not anymore.
Amren is studying his body a few steps behind you, staring at him with a conflicted look in her eyes, arms wrapped around herself. This might be the first time she sees someone she cares about die right before her eyes, as she watches on, unable to do a thing about it. Right next to her stands Mor, an uncharacteristically blank look on her face as she watches one of her bestfriends take his last breaths, shock seems to have taken hold of her. Emerie stands behind her, ready to comfort her. He couldn't see Cassian but he feels him kneeling right next to his head, can hear his choked breaths as he desperately tries to keep his tears from coming, can feel the familiar thrum of his power. He had also been injured, but it seems that Azriel had taken the worst of it, his brother would be alright.
And you. He doesn't even want to imagine how much pain he's going to bring you. You, who's trying so hard to be strong for him, to keep on a brave face and make him feel better in his last moments, even though you probably want nothing more than to curse the Mother and any deity responsible for this. If it had been the other way around, he's not so sure he would survive it, or that he would want to, but he knows you're more resilient than him, so much stronger, always have been.
None of you deserve this. To have your family ripped away from you like this. And he doesn't either, after suffering through so much, he knows he deserved a few more good years with you and his family by his side.
“I don't want to die,” the words escape him in a whisper before he has the chance to keep them down. The sobs that escape both you and Cassian almost make him want to take the words back, knowing he's going to give you guys enough pain as it is. Your hands raise to hold his face, bringing a smile to his lips even at a time like this.
He was almost surprised to see that he meant it. Azriel had never been afraid of death, would gladly do it to save the ones he loves, as he is doing now, but that had always been easier when he felt like he had nothing to lose. Aside from his friends and his mother - who he knows should be more than enough reason - Azriel had never truly felt fulfilled or content with his life. Throwing it all away would have been easier then, but now he had you.
He's been waiting for a love that would give his life purpose ever since he can remember, as pathetic as that may sound, and now that he finally met you, he's going to die without ever getting the chance to give you the ring he keeps stored on his nightstand. He had been waiting for the right time to give it to you, it seems like fate had other plans for him. He can only imagine what you will feel when you find the silver ring engraved with both of your initials.
A sudden pressure in the air tells Azriel his brother returned with Thesan. He feels a strange sort of relief at this, not because he thinks the healer can still help him, but because he didn't want to go without knowing Rhys was here as well. His heart seems to echo this sentiment, as he can hear it slow down with each painful breath he takes into his lungs.
Azriel uses his remaining strength to hold up his hand, trying to feel your skin against his rough palm one more time. He can't quite raise his arm high enough, the blood loss catching up to him, but you hold his hand in yours and hold it up to your cheek. You always knew what to do, what he was thinking.
“I love you,” he struggles out.
Your tears are flowing down your cheeks freely as you repeat the words back to him, having no choice but to resign yourself to your cruel fate. Rhys and Mor kneel at your side, the latter resting a hand on your shoulder, trying to give you as much comfort as she can, while Rhys stares at his brother, the normally striking purple not visible behind his tears.
As scared as he was, he could admit this wasn't so bad, dying surrounded by his family, surrounded by so much love. He feels comfort that the last thing he felt before everything turned cold was the warmth of your body against him. Enough so that it almost catches him by surprise, barely registering his shadows moving from his body to yours, covering your body the same way they've been covering him all these years, barely feels his arm drop from your face, his strength completely leaving his body until he can't hear anything, can't see anything as the world goes black, and the last thing he feels is your head falling on his chest as a wail of his name escapes you.
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magicdustsworld · 3 months ago
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Honour
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Levi Ackerman x Reader
Synopsis: You've heard tales of the infamous humanity's strongest soldier – Captain Levi. The first time you meet him, you come to know how wrong they are.
Tropes: Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Warnings: Graphic description of violence, injuries, bit of something I can't add, gn!reader, Canon AU, no mentions of y/n.
Word count: 1.9k
Event: Submission for the prompt day 6 - Love at first sight on @levievent
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“Square up, cadet!”
The terse call from one of your fellow soldiers instantly prompts you to straighten your spine. Footsteps serenade before halting right beside you, he scrutinizes the area you were assigned to clean. A hefty sigh leaves your lips, hopefully you’ve done a good job enough considering you’ve been on it since the last twenty minutes.
“Is this what you call clean?”
Just like that all of your hopes are shattered.
He presses the pad of his finger on the glass pane, dragging over the surface – a speck of dust grazes his skin. You swallow a lump, “I- well…”
“What are you mumbling like a maggot, now?”
Chewing on your bottom lips, your eyes flickered from him to the window “No, I- I thought it was clean-”
“Don’t get cocky, newbie.” He leans towards you. “I don’t know what the hell is up with you freshly out trainees-”
“Oluo, stop trying to imitate Captain Levi!”
A third voice chimes in, soon a hand is placed over your shoulder and you are met with a concerned mien of an auburn haired woman. “You okay?”
You nod and Oluo lets out a grunt. “Did I do something wrong?”
A corner of her lip curls up, “Not necessarily.” Her eyes flicker to the window pane then back at you. “You just need a little… guidance.”
You blinked, “Guidance?”
“Yeah, I will help you out around here.” She muses. “Its just- the captain can be quite a clean freak so if you want to be in his good books, you should get used to spotless and abrupt cleaning sessions.”
-
“Hm? Captain Levi?”
“Yeah,” You affirm, sitting beside Petra in the mess hall. “What is he like?”
She tilts her head – taking a second to conjure a proper response for you. Her spoonful of porridge has halted near her mouth before it is put down. “The true captain Levi he is well… cold, irritable, violent and always has a poker look on his face.”
 “Was he always like that?”
“As far as I’ve seen,” Petra answers and you nod. Silence for a second stretches the table until she starts again, “I’ve heard rumours that say he was a thug but he joined the scouts after Commander Erwin pulled some strings. He hails from the underground so-”
“From the underground?”
“From the underground.”
A pang of unease surges through you. Although you’ve lived your entire life on the surface, you aren’t elusive to the underground district. A region where no sunlight permeates, a hub for the criminals and the thought of such an enigmatic figure of the military being from there happens to cause an apprehensive pang.
She chuckles, “Pretty conflicting for you, right?”
“Well uhm,” You try to suppress the coy smile from forming on your lips. Running your fingers through your hair, you answer, “To be honest, I had a rather different picture of humanity’s strongest soldier.”
“Don’t let that title deter your eyes, cadet.”
This time, it is the soldier sitting across you who intervenes in the conversation. You shift your gaze to him, “Excuse me?”
“Don’t get all blinded by that strength and titan kills,” He replies with venom lacing his tone. “He doesn’t care about any of his comrades.”
“Duran!”
.
You try to twist your body, wincing from the pain that surges from your ripped abdomen.
Warm blood gushes out from the ghastly wound, hands coated with blood of yours – it’s a futile attempt to stop the bleeding by pressing on the area. The pressure only causes the backflow of blood causing it to rise up your throat and akin to bile, you throw up. Consciousness slips in and out of you by each passing second and the way your shredded intestines coil in fingers, the smooth pulsing flesh grazing your skin sends tremors up your shoulders.
A splitting headache shoots through your mind and you grunt. You can feel the anxious yet despondent stare of the medic by your side. The rather slow paced bandaging of your torso helps little. It’s almost like they have given up. Honestly, you can’t blame them for their surrender, the injuries you’ve sustained from almost being chewed up as titan fodder is far from curable. Even if you manage to not lose your life now (which is impossible with the amount of blood you’re losing), you’ll only be a burden to bring back to the walls (a factor which would risk the loss of more lives).
Either way, there is no win.
A zap of the ODM gear momentarily distracts you from the pain. Sooner than you can comprehend, there’s another figure kneeling beside your worn and moribund form. You are greeted with a lingering warm touch on your shoulder and just like that, your ragged breath ceases.
“What’s the condition?”
“The organs are ruptured and I can’t stop the bleeding, Captain Levi.”
The quivering voice of the medic stalls you that this is in the infamous Captain.
You don’t know what comes over you but you try to speak; resulting in a coughing fit with blood dripping down your lips, marring your skin with its tint.
Levi’s attention shifts to you, his thumb brushes a slow circle over the fabric of your uniform, “Easy there, Soldier.” He says, tipping his head as a sign. “You don’t need to speak.”
You gesture your understanding with a scuffling nod. Significantly, your vision is blurred due to obvious reasons. Yet, it’s not impossible to mark raven bangs fanning his forehead, sharp features, steel blue eyes that gaze down at you with… is that concern?
“Don’t get blinded by all that strength and titan kills, he doesn’t care about any of his comrades.”
Didn’t they say he doesn’t care?
“If you want to know does your sacrifice make any difference or not,” He starts, voice lowering yet a newfound grit ignites. “It does.”
It doesn’t. You want to say. It doesn’t make a difference. It is only your first expedition and just like the average rate of sixty percent of the new cadets who traverse beyond the walls for the first and last time – this is your last as well. 
It’s what they are obliged to say in the last moments. The same words will be spoken to your family as well. Just a responsibility.
“You will be remembered,” He tells you, his shoulders turn rigid as he turns his full attention on you. “If not by anyone else, by me you will. Your will and memories will live on as long as I live.”
Never did you think you’d be put in a situation where mere words of assurance would prove so much to you. Never did you even think that you’d receive them from the proclaimed stoic captain. It had been a cloudy today, for the reason the sight of an aberrant circling the region near your flank was unnoticed. Till the time a messenger had rode off to relay the news, the destruction had commenced. You had given up as soon as the titan got hold of you, even after you were released from its hold, the sustained wounds and the pain rippling through your gobbled up gut wall were toppling you down into a spiral of decadence.
 The storms running in your head were ruining the garden of clarity until a ray of sunshine pierced through the clouds in the form of Captain Levi.
Humorously, the gloomy sky clears up – the soft warmth of the sun mingling with the air of death falls upon you.
“It’s just the captain can be quite a clean freak so if you want to be in his good books, you should get used to spotless and abrupt cleaning sessions.”
Maybe the vast amount of blood loss was affecting your capability of rational thinking; you hold up your bloodied hand. Without a second thought, Levi seizes it.
“I will kill each and everyone of those bastards who did this to you.”
For reasons unknown, you find tears prickling up your eyes. You choke out a sob as the tears fall down. Your body is weakening but Levi holds your hand in his – interlocking the fingers. The blood drips down from the conjoint to the cufflinks of his shirt; he doesn’t let go. Instead, you are met with a tender touch of him wiping away your tears.
“The pain will end soon enough.”
It will. You need to accept it.
Through the impaired vision, you can make out his beautiful steel blue eyes staring back at you. Tears have not collected over his lashes but the silent intentions evoked by his gaze is more than any emotion you’ve known. It’s a good enough sight for a last sight.
“So will your suffering,” He continues with a cinched determination. However, the grave voice is coated with a tinge of sincerity and an emotion you can’t decipher. “Wherever you go now, you will be free so-” He pauses, swallowing a lump in his throat. “So forget about this wretched world anyway. You are destined for peace.”
It’s ironical but you crack a smile.
Since you were a child, you had perceived death to be scary. Then… Then why was it so beautiful?
It’s so cruel – all of it. It’s the first time you are meeting him but why did it also have to be the last? Couldn’t you be granted just more time for this fateful meeting to happen? But- you assume- but not meeting him ever would cause you a lifetime of regret. Even in this little moment, even with the life slipping from your fingers, even when the illusion of a reaper starts to stall near, you know it’s him. You know it’s him because you couldn’t give any reason. It’s Captain Levi and he’s like the moon you’ve found amidst the veil of stars.
You part your lips and Levi gets the clue that you’re about to speak so he intervenes. “Don’t-” You shake your head, gesturing for him to lean in.
He complies but it’s getting too hard for you to keep your eyes open.
Therefore, you say your first and last words to him.
“Thank you, Captain Levi.”
.
It’s an empty tomb but Levi still stands before it.
Due to urgent reasons, most of the corpses couldn’t be retrieved. Besides, the gloominess of the day which serenaded just after your death made it rather difficult to bring back all the bodies. It doesn’t matter really.
Levi heaves a breath, kneeling down before the tombstone. Like a fever dream he reverts back to the moment when he saw you for the first time. Worn out and clinging to life while your blood stained the grasses red.
He doesn’t know why, neither will be fret himself over knowing the reason. Yet, when he saw you drowning in the ocean of despair, he found himself suffocating as well.
He reaches into his pocket, grasping an object before he sets it over the stone. It’s empty. He knows. You aren’t here. He knows. He had to leave you behind. He knows that as well. Sunlight falls upon the ivory and azure wings of freedom – your insignia of the Survey corps. Levi has never understood the concept of bringing home the corpses. It wouldn’t change a thing. The dead is the dead after all. Dwelling over the past would only affect the present and future. In a way which rarely proves to be good.
However, the memories thrive. They always do. So keeping the brief encounter with you in his memories, he speaks to you for one last time.
“It was an honour to meet you.”
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goldenroutledge · 1 year ago
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intimidated
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pairing: jj maybank x kook!reader
word count: 5.3k
summary: you’re there for jj when it matters most. (inspired by this post)
warning(s): sprinkles of angst, but fluffy in the end.
a/n: the song i had in mind while writing this was intimidated by kaytranada & h.e.r <3
jj maybank masterlist
© goldenroutledge || do not plagiarize, repost, or translate my work in any way
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JJ Maybank didn’t need handouts. As he told it, his independence was his most valuable asset. It’s what made him a pogue through and through. “Is freedom anything else than the right to live as we wish?”— An Epictetus quote JJ scribbled down, bored as ever in his freshman English class. His life motto condensed into twelve simple words, whether his newfound ‘freedom’ was out of his control or not. Either way, he played the cards he was dealt.
His friends— no, scratch that— his family, were his escape to comfort. A soft, pillowy landing from the nose dive that was his life. A foreign concept to him until he met John B, then Pope, then Kiara, then you. A refuge of safety, ironically enough, given the many times you all had looked death in the face.
Even though the pogues had already started wearing matching friendship bracelets that Kiara made by the time you came along, it was a smooth transition when you were welcomed into the group with open arms. By some more than others at first, given your kook status. But just as they’d embraced Kie, your initiation into the group was no different.
While it took time for JJ in particular to come around, his reservations were understandable. At first, you gave him his space and he gave you yours. Always letting him set the tone and lead the way.
As time went on, JJ soon decided he wouldn’t mind having you around him all the time, there was no going back. JJ loved to the point of no return, and it was incomparable to anything— or how anyone else could ever make you feel.
At times, he felt like that was all he had to offer. Nothing but fierce loyalty and protection over the ones he loves most. But you. To JJ, you were the fine line between hideaway and heaven itself. Even if he thought he may not end up there, he was sure that it would be you he’d meet at heaven’s gates.
Amongst any conflict or tension within the group, you always provided a safe haven for him to retreat to, though he had difficulty admitting it. In a way you had a solution for everything. Keeping tensions low and spirits high in the process. You were the original peacemaker of the group, before his precious gun came along.
Right now, it was almost all he could think about while he sat there, beer in hand, listening to John B and Sarah argue in the distance. How he wishes you were here, to ease his nerves and settle the anxiety simmering in his chest.
JJ hated this. He hated that nobody seemed to get along anymore. With all that was going on with the others, he wouldn’t even think to mention his problems. The looming eviction notice on his house, one of few things he had left on this island. While everyone’s lives continued to progress, JJ’s was at a standstill. No job, no parents, and now his friend group was falling apart at the seams. And with everyone else occupied these days, he was alone.
JJ, selfless as usual, would hate to bother you, no matter how badly he wanted to. He knew you’d have some inspirational shit to say to him. Though he’d poked fun at it sometimes, he’d never needed anything more right now.
The sound of footsteps came before JJ saw them, watching Sarah storm off and away from John B as he stood there, tense and silent.
JJ could be hot headed at times, that was no secret. He could understand his friends' quarrels to an extent. But he couldn’t look past the fact that you all were supposed to be sticking together, especially right now. When he said that nothing good could happen once you all returned to Kildare, he knew he was right. Call it a gut feeling.
-
Naturally, Sarah told you everything. Confidant, mom-friend, advisor— all titles bestowed upon you by your close group of friends over the years. You’d always tried to be as neutral as possible in times of conflict. Though in matters of the heart it was nearly impossible.
Days after her fight with John B, she found herself laying on your bed, venting all of her bottled up frustrations about him and the state of their relationship.
“I’m a mess, Y/n. I feel like such a mess.”
You looked at her sympathetically, knowing there wasn’t much you could do. Just listen, just be there in her time of need.
“So, I took my bag from the Chateau and I left. Kie’s parents told me I couldn’t stay, then I went to JJ’s and he wasn’t home. He’s working at Guffy’s again last I heard.”
You briefly glanced up at the mention of JJ’s name— and it didn’t go unnoticed by Sarah. Instead of divulging about it, she continued her rant.
“Then I was just wandering around, because it’s not like I had anything better to do. And who sees me drinking at Tiki Bar? Topper.”
“Topper?”
“Topper.”
You internally cringed at the mention of the Thornton boy. He was always nice when you saw him, nothing bad nor good to say about him. But you knew deep down he was Sarah’s achilles heel. He reminded her of everything she once had, the person she once was. Lately, you couldn’t help but crave some normalcy too.
“So.. what happened?”
She sighs heavily, dropping her hand across her eyes. “We went to Mase.”
“Alone?”
“We went with some people from KDC. The old crew, Kelce, Phoebe…”
“Is that it?”
“We made out.”
Sarah squeezed her eyes shut in fear of your reaction, knowing it’d probably show on your face before anything.
“Oh.” You swallowed back any judgment you might’ve had, compartmentalizing your love for John B and choosing to hear Sarah out. “And how do you feel about it?”
“Awful. I mean Topper has been so good to me lately with everything going on, he’s always there to pick up the pieces and I just feel bad. It was a mistake.”
“It can’t happen again, y’know. Not if you want to work it out with John B.”
“I do, I wanna work it out with him.” She urged. “And then the next morning we had breakfast. Kie came into the restaurant and saw us together and I think she got the wrong message. She said she’s staying out of it but I can tell what she’s thinking.” Sarah takes a deep inhale, and a deep exhale to follow. “What do I do, Y/n?”
It still baffles you at times that you’ve become the voice of reason. You hope Sarah doesn’t notice that you feel uneasy about the whole thing. “Just… be honest. Don’t let John B find out from anyone other than you. He’s gonna be upset but he has a right to be.”
The blonde sits up, crawls over to you and envelopes you into her arms. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
-
Sun reflected brightly off the boats docked at the marina, the two smoothie cups in your hand sweating from the sweltering heat. Your family's boat was kept here at Guffy’s; particularly when your parents weren’t in town to cruise around the island and daydrink with their kook friends.
At least you had an alibi, just in case you happened to run into JJ. The two medium strawberry banana smoothies you carried might need some explanation, though.
Ever since you all had made it back to the island, JJ had been hard to track down. He was rarely in one place for too long. So where else better to catch him than at work?
“Y/n? How are you doing today?” Billy questions from a distance away, putting on his friendliest smile for the daughter of his best clients.
“Can’t complain. Happy to be back.”
“And it’s good to have you back. Everything alright with the boat?”
“Oh yeah, everything’s fine, I just realized I left behind my favorite sunglasses.” You explained, hoping your excuse sounded authentic enough.
“Alright. You take care, now.”
“Actually… I was wondering is JJ around?”
“Maybank? He was here a few days ago.”
“Hm, I could’ve sworn he was working today.”
Billy sighs, eyebrows furrowing. “Listen, Ms. Y/l/n, I know you want to advocate for your boyfriend and all but JJ can’t work here.”
Confusion spread through your features this time as you genuinely had no idea what the man was getting at. You chose to not correct him when he’d mistaken you for JJ’s girlfriend.
“Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good kid. I know he wants the job back but Guffy put a pin in it. I’m sorry. Really not much I can do.”
You forced a polite smile on your face as the dots connected, remembering the melting smoothie you held in your left hand while your half-finished one remained in your right. The two of you exchanged brief goodbyes before you quickly left the marina.
If JJ really hadn’t been working at Guffy’s again, where the hell was he? His act of disappearing was unmatched, but so was your skill of guessing.
If a game of hide-n-seek is what he wanted, a game of hide-n-seek is what he will get.
-
Grass brushed against your ankles as you approached JJ’s home, your steps careful as you looked around for him.
Going to JJ’s home was forbidden. When Luke was around, that is. He was a phantom— an ugly, dark presence looming over the quaint home that would otherwise feel serene. The chirping birds in the trees couldn’t tell the difference.
You haven't been here many times. The times you had been here weren’t anything you nor JJ wanted to remember. The feeling of uncertainty creeped into your mind from your past visits. You never knew what to expect.
To your left, there was a beautiful, never-ending view of the water past the grass of the Maybank’s yard. You hadn’t noticed that before. This spot had probably seen some beautiful sunsets. In a moment of imagination, you almost pictured sitting there with JJ on the plush green, hand in hand, watching the warm hues of the sky melt into a dark night.
The caution tape wrapping around the wood of the house caught your interest as you made your way onto the porch, also noticing the eviction letter left on the door, moving closer for a better look.
“Y/n?”
JJ called out, appearing from around the corner of his home, startling you out of concentration as you re-read the notice again and again.
As if you didn’t come over to finally see him in the first place. Though you couldn’t speak— for once unsure of what to say. ‘Sorry you’re getting evicted?’, it just didn’t sound right. Then again it might’ve been better than standing frozen and staring at him, silently, like you were doing.
“What are you doing here?”
“I- um…. I brought you a smoothie.”
You held out the cup, approaching him and handing it to him. He stood there dumbfounded, eyebrows furrowed. His lips eventually pursed into a smile as a way to say thank you. This wasn’t the relaxed JJ you were accustomed to; nonetheless he was still the JJ you loved.
“Why are you here?”
“I told you. The smoothie.”
“You came all the way out here from your mansion on Figure 8 to bring me a smoothie?”
“What?” You scoffed, his tone dictating where the conversation was headed. Most likely nowhere.
“Go back to reading by your pool or something. You shouldn’t be here.”
“I haven’t heard from you in days, JJ. I’m just checking up on you.”
“So what? You touring around the Cut now? Delivering smoothies to lost pogues? Is Heyward’s your next stop?”
He resumed tinkering with his bike, and from the looks of it he was working rather aggressively— desperate to distract himself from the conversation at hand.
“I miss my best friend. Am I not allowed to miss you anymore? I mean it’s not like we were stranded on an island together… not knowing whether we would live or die!”
“Well, we’re not exactly a big happy family right now. You should know that.”
“Yeah. John B and Sarah are on some kind of break. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see you, that doesn’t have anything to do with us. I thought we were past the whole picking sides thing.”
“I’ve been busy.” JJ shrugs.
“Busy working? At the job you lied about having?”
His eyes snapped to yours immediately. Your heart clenched as soon as the words left your mouth, you didn’t mean to go too far. But at least you had his attention.
“What, are you stalking me now? Or did you hire a P.I. to figure that out?”
“Hilarious, JJ. I was at the marina earlier to grab something off my boat. Actually hoping I would run into you but, whatever.”
“Yeah. Whatever.”
A few moments of awkward silence lingered between the two of you, as you kicked a pebble around with your foot.
“I know you don’t owe me anything… but you could’ve just told me.”
He paused his movements, thinking about how he was going to respond.
“Tell you what? That I prefer mixed berry over strawberry banana?” He jested, smiling to himself.
“I’m not talking about the smoothie, idiot.”
His eyes drifted over to his home, knowing exactly what you were thinking, just afraid to acknowledge it.
“My problems aren’t your problems, Y/n.”
“And I know that. I just wanna help you, however you’ll let me.”
“Well, you can help me by not helping me. I’ll figure it out. Always do.”
“All I’m saying is you don’t have to figure it out alone. I’m here.”
At that, he dropped his tools, running tense hands through his hair. “But you aren’t here! You don’t have to live like this and you should be glad that you don’t!”
He raised his voice at you, frustrated. JJ was never good at putting his feelings into words, especially when it came to actually expressing them.
He didn’t know how he could tell you about everything. The worst day he’s ever had, the lowest he’s ever been. He couldn’t see a way in which he could tell you all of it and carry on the same. You were always a constant in his life. He needed it to stay that way, by any means necessary.
“That doesn’t make sense, JJ. What’s the point of having anything nice if I can’t share it with the people I love?”
The both of you were taken aback at what your explanation implied. In actuality, it took all of your power not to say those three words to him outright. But you couldn’t, not like this.
“You don’t have to pretend to care that much. I’m sure you can find another community service project to focus on.”
“Community service?” You chuckled emptily, baffled at his ridiculousness, though deep down you knew this was how he dealt with things. He simply didn’t know anything other than defensiveness. “That’s what you think this is?”
JJ closed his eyes in exasperation, wishing this conversation away. He could hear it in your voice, your feelings were hurt. Maybe not as bad as when your 8th grade crush asked someone else to the Valentine’s dance— but even a little was too much.
“If you’re gonna reduce our decade of friendship to me doing charity work, I guess there’s no changing your mind. I’m just wasting my breath.”
The words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to apologize instantly, but now he wasn’t sure if his apologies were something you’d wanna hear at the moment. He wasn’t sure if you’d believe him.
For all the disingenuous apologies he’d accepted over the years, he’d hate to put you on the receiving end of one. Even if his heart truly was in the right place, JJ couldn’t muster up the courage to show it.
“You don’t have to antagonize me. Because everything you’re blaming me for, it isn’t my fault. Just like this isn’t your fault either.” You gestured to the eviction notice at his door.
“Yeah.” He mumbled. “You’re right.”
“Say what you want about me, but I just wanna know that you’re okay. And if it’s an apology you’re looking for, you’re not gonna get it. I’ll never apologize for that.”
He nodded, unsure of what else to say. All he could do was try to understand.
Realizing he had no further comments, you turned your back to leave.
“Will I see you at the Chateau tomorrow?” You asked over your shoulder, hope remaining in your voice despite the uneasiness that remained between you two.
“Don’t count on it.”
“Alright, well… bye.”
JJ waves, before muttering a monotone ‘thanks for the smoothie’ as he watches you go.
-
Since returning to the island, it was an unspoken thing that you all were to meet up at the Chateau at some point. And with all the new developments in your lives lately, these meetings were much needed.
Pope handed you a beer as he came into John B’s living room, opening one of his own as he sat down beside you.
John B and Sarah seemed to be laying low, but it was clear they were back together or had come to some sort of resolution.
Kiara was going on about how much shit her parents had been giving her lately. They’d been hovering— watching over their daughter’s every move from the moment she set foot on the island again.
Pope told the group about how Cleo had won over Heywar in record time, much faster than John B or JJ. Pope’s parents simply wanted the best for him, and knew that the danger and mischief his friends came with couldn’t be productive.
“We’ve been best friends for what…? 13 years?” John B recalls. “And your dad can hardly stand the sight of me but Cleo won him over in a few minutes? How?”
“Are you surprised?”
“Not at all.” John B holds his hands up in surrender to Cleo, Pope smirking beside her as he witnesses the interaction. “Just confused.”
“I have many superpowers, John.”
“Apparently! Winning over Heyward is like, unheard of in this group. At least for JJ and me.” John B explains, sipping his beer.
“Speaking of, where’s he at?”
At the shift in conversation, you can feel several pairs of eyes fall upon you. All you can do is act as normal as possible, tipping off any of your friends always ends badly in the case of keeping a secret. Until the cat’s out of the bag, your friends will make it their personal mission to reveal whatever it is you’re hiding.
You raised your eyebrows, pretending to only catch onto their stares moments later. “Why’re you looking at me?”
“No reason. It’s not like you guys are secretly together or anything.” Pope mutters under his breath, catching a glare from you at his false claim.
“We’re not. I wouldn’t know where he is.”
John B hisses, pretending to shiver. “Is it a little chilly in here? Or is that just Y/n’s cold shoulder?”
You roll your eyes, further proving his point until Sarah chimes in, pondering if she should speak up about what she knows.
“I actually stopped by JJ’s the other day. He.. wasn’t home.”
“Oh yeah, didn’t he go fishing? Probably not back yet.” John B remembers.
“I don’t think he’ll be going home anytime soon.”
At this your eyes meet Sarah’s hazel ones, full of hesitation. You shoot her a look of ‘whatever you’re about to say, don’t’, and you hope she is wise enough to pick up on it.
“Why is that?” Kiara questions, confused.
“He got evicted.” Sarah blurts, regret spreading through her expression as she sees you react; you don’t react. And that slightly terrifies her.
“Really?” Pope asks in disbelief, though not too surprised. More so disappointed that his best friend had to endure this, silently at that.
“Yeah. When was the last time anyone’s heard from him?”
The group silently recollects for a few moments, Kie pulls out her phone to review her latest texts with the man in question.
Instead, you’re wondering how the hell Sarah even knew about this to begin with. How long could she know about this and just stay silent? Forget not telling the group, how long could she keep this from you? How could she not help her friend who was clearly in need of support?
“How long have you known?”
Sarah appears confused, wondering where your line of questioning is coming from.
“I- uh. After John B and I fought I went there, remember Y/n? I was hoping I could stay but he wasn’t home. That’s when I saw the eviction notice.”
“And you waited, I don’t know, a week to bring that up?”
“Y/n, it’s not like I intentionally kept this from you, okay? We know how protective you are over JJ.”
Her words strike a cord within you, already on edge regarding JJ Maybank because of your argument with him the day prior. It was still a sore subject, even more so made by having no one to confide in about it.
“It’s not about that, Sarah. You didn’t even have to tell anyone at all but you didn’t think to maybe find out if he’s okay? At the very least?”
“I was a bit homeless at the time, Y/n, sorry about that.”
“Oh, right. You were too busy hooking up with Topper to care about the well-being of our best friend? Good to know the bare minimum is impossible for you.”
Sarah scoffs, John B shakes his head in exasperation. Kiara stays silent mostly, being no stranger to your and Sarah’s sister-like fights. She couldn’t even disagree with you, though with her parents keeping her on lockdown it was hard to do anything about it. She wasn’t in a place to have an opinion.
Pope and Cleo shared looks, communicating wordlessly as they had grown to do. Being away at Heyward’s kept them out of the loop quite a bit.
“JJ will figure it out, Y/n. Relax.” John B reassured. Though he was defending his girlfriend, now that they were in a ‘good place’ again, you felt anything but reassured at his carelessness around the subject. You’d think of all of you, John B would understand the most.
“Relax? Why should I relax if JJ is in trouble? If anything, you’re too relaxed!”
“I’m sorry you feel that way but you don’t have to take it out on Sarah, this isn’t even her fault! Not all of us want to fight your battles.”
“If you had any sense left you’d realize this isn’t about me. This is about our friend, who I thought we all cared about. At least enough to share this kind of news. We’re talking about his well-being here, I mean he’s losing the house he grew up in and nobody seems to care about that?”
“If he wanted us to know, he’d tell us.”
“Like he’s ever going to do that! You know better than anyway that he won’t!”
“It’s not my problem.”
“Mhm. It’s a shame JJ’s busy solving all of yours.”
“Y/n, please. Can we just have a chill night?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be his ‘best friend since the third grade?’ Because you don’t fucking act like it.” You huffed, standing up to get rid of your beer can. At this point you were rambling to yourself, more than okay with the group hearing what you really thought about them and their carelessness for the situation.
“Indeed. Which is why I don’t need to force him to tell me shit, okay?”
“Why are you such an asshole, John B?”
“Y/n, I just found my dad. So, excuse me if JJ’s living situation isn’t at the forefront of my mind.”
“I never said it had to be, but you’re acting like you don’t even care!”
“I do care! We all do!” John B shouts. “And maybe if you’d let up on him he’d actually come to you about this stuff!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m saying, maybe JJ would give you the love you so desperately crave if you weren’t fucking suffocating him.”
“John B!” Kiara warns.
Sarah held her face in her hands, knowing John B had crossed the line. Maybe he had one too many beers in his system. Either way, hell was about to break loose. And when it came to JJ, hell hath no fury like you did.
Your head felt like it was about to explode. How could your friends seem to be so comfortable with this? The same friends that claimed to leave no pogue behind, to never turn their back on one of their own.
If that was true, then what was this? From the looks of it, nobody even pretended to give a damn.
“You’re fucking terrible, John B. This isn’t even about me at all! You just can’t stop deflecting from what a shitty friend you are. I mean, JJ would die for literally every last one of you guys. And he almost did! On multiple occasions! But instead you’re gonna neglect the one person who's seen you through all your bullshit and as soon as it’s over you’re gonna pretend like nothing happened? Like the Earth is back on its axis? The world doesn’t fucking revolve around you, John B. That’s just not- that’s not something you do to someone you love.”
There wasn’t a need to announce your departure, as it was so quiet inside that you could hear your own breathing.
As hard as it was to fight with John B like that, you couldn’t deny the weight that had been lifted off your chest. Your spirit was lighter. It was therapeutic, really. So therapeutic you felt peaceful enough to go home and take the longest nap ever recorded, maybe in John B’s own hammock just to prove a point.
Entranced in your own thoughts, you didn’t even register JJ resting in the hammock himself, hands intertwined behind his head. Not asleep, but wondering what your next words will be. The walls of the Chateau were thin enough, echoes of your voices amplified by the open windows.
He wasn’t sure if you simply didn’t notice his presence or if you were flat out ignoring him, walking past like he was invisible. Testing the waters, he called out from behind you.
“I never really thanked you for the smoothie.”
You froze in your tracks, face heating up and muscles tensing at the thought of the argument he probably just heard and decided not to barge in on.
“It’s alright. Wasn’t looking for praise.”
JJ met you halfway, taking note of your tired eyes and your feet dragging against the grass.
“So, what? You’re picking fights for me now?”
“You heard?”
“I think Ward Cameron heard. All the way from Guadalupe.”
“Stop it.” You warned, cracking a smile for a split second. JJ was good at that. Making you smile no matter the circumstances. “I stand up against injustice. That’s all.”
“Then are you still mad at me?”
“About what?”
“Yesterday. The whole… note on door situation.”
“Could never be mad at you, JJ. Especially not about that.”
He softly smiles, one that you return. It’s been a long time since you’d shared a small moment like this. Too long.
He gestures for you to come closer and slide into his arms as he’d held them out for you, just like you belong there.
“I am sorry, though.” JJ mumbles the words softly, almost into the crook of your neck as if he was speaking to you and you only. “I know you’re just trying to stick around for me.”
“Yeah. Just trying to be wherever you are.”
“You don’t have to fight for me, y’know.” I’m already here. Though you may not have caught on instantly, nothing he’s ever said has made as much sense.
“Sorry, J. Sometimes I just feel like we don’t deserve you. Like I don’t deserve you.” You admitted sheepishly.
JJ scoffs, and you’re not sure why. He’s often sarcastic, but it’s hard to tell what he’s really thinking in these situations.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/n?”
Your eyes meet his, hesitation behind them.
“You’re the one who doesn’t deserve me? Is that a joke?”
You looked at him as if it were obvious, like the line had already been drawn in the sand. This fact had already been decided; there was no going back, not now, and not ever.
“I know I’m not the smartest person, okay, but you’re making no sense.”
“Come again?” You asked, equally as confused as he was. It was incredulous for anyone to believe JJ of all people wasn’t worth it— as if he wasn’t worth someone who would go to the ends of the Earth for him, someone who would defend him six ways to Sunday. There was no one in your life more deserving of such a thing.
“Listen, Y/n...”
“No! You listen. Nobody should treat you like that. Especially our friends! As if their problems are bigger than yours or something. It’s just fucked up for any one of them to act like they don’t care because I know deep down, they do. They care just like I do but they just suck at showing it. Mostly John B. He sucks the most. And I’m not exempt either, I mean I should’ve checked on you sooner-”
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda.” JJ interrupted, placing his hands on your shoulders. “Y/n, it’s okay. I don’t need anything.”
“I know that. I just want to love you. Because I really do. I really love you, JJ. Like bad. So bad that it’s probably sad at this point but I really don’t care anymore! Not about what John B has to say, not about anything, because I’ll never regret it. I’ll never wish that I didn’t love you.”
That stupid weight again, feeling as if it’s taking off like a rocketship and leaving your conscience for good. It makes you want to scream the words from the rooftops. Over and over and over again.
Confessing feels good, but kissing JJ feels damn euphoric. His lips are on yours before you can even register what’s happening, too busy being self-aware to realize the way his eyes turned glossy, or the way he’s gently got one hand on your waist and one hand caressing your cheek.
“He’s got it all wrong. I love you, too.” JJ confesses after pulling away from you, briefly taking his eyes off yours to glance at the Chateau. His head shakes as he says it, that starry glint in his eyes so undeniably present. “So bad.”
He earns a giggle out of you as he mocked your words to him just a few moments ago. But now, things were changing. He couldn’t stand before you and pretend he didn’t feel the way he did. Not anymore, not ever again.
Not after you’d shown your love for him so confidently to everybody, time and time again. JJ Maybank wasn’t sure about many things in life, but you weren’t one of them. This was surely the best decision he’d made in years.
“Come over.” You whine between kisses, breaking him out of his trance. If you let him, he’d kiss you forever, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
JJ raises his eyebrows, smirking.
“For dinner. We’re having sloppy joes.”
JJ, unresisting temptation, leans in again and moans against your lips dramatically. “What about dessert?”
You give his hair a tug and kiss the smirk off his face, whispering to him a secret.
“And maybe dessert.”
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