#All the broken images didn't help either... RIP...
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solradguy · 1 year ago
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Have you tried going thegearproject.org on the wayback machine? I don’t know how to navigate it but it seems to have stuff from the X2 era community
This site did not survive very well lol....
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I was an idiot and hit ctrl+z despite knowing there's a bug in the new Tumblr post editor that makes it DELETE THE ENTIRE DAMN POST ARGH
Anyway. Looks like this site only existed from 2003 to 2005 before the domain expired. I wasn't able to find anything that hinted they ever hosted raw Japanese text files or transcripts of the Japanese dialog from the drama CDs either, but a lot of the download links on this site are long dead.
The download links for the cover materials and a fan scanlated version of the first chapter of the GG Xtra manga survived though. This seems to be either an alternate version or an early version of what would end up becoming the Justice Revival Project's full scanlation of that manga.
Stuff like the character and lore FAQs were hosted in raw text and are still readable but they look kinda like they're the same files that have long survived and are now hosted in the GG lore server's archives in an updated form. A cool little tidbit anyway, though.
What's particularly interesting about this FAQ is seeing how the lore's since changed and how the fandom 20 years ago interpreted what was available to them in the west back then. This bit about Sol is fascinating because almost everything here has since changed:
Q. Why is Sol often called "Haitoku no Honoo"? A. Haitoku no Honoo means in this context "Corrupted Flame", not "Flame of Corruption" (as it is referring to the fact that Sol/Frederick has been "corrupted", not that he corrupts others). This relates to the whole title of the series, "Guilty Gear", as Sol can be described as both the "Guilty Gear" and the "Corrupted Flame" for having worked on the Gear Project. Who first bestowed the name on him is unknown, but when Justice and Sol meet at the end of the Holy War, even before Justice knows that Sol is a Gear, she calls Sol by this name.
The official English translations only ever translate Haitoku no Honoo as Flame of Corruption now. It isn't simply a Sol-exclusive title and instead also refers to the type of Gear cell he was infected with by "That Man," which hadn't been elaborated on in the canon hardly at all yet back then (Scales of Juno aren't mentioned anywhere in this old FAQ either). It would later be known that Justice called him that because she was Aria, who worked on the Gear Project with him and Asuka and (presumably) knew about the FoC and Scales of Juno.
I love getting little glimpses of the old GG community like this. It makes me wonder what these old FAQ authors and fan site webmasters are up to these days...
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badbtssmut · 4 months ago
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Reckless and sweet
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What if you are equally in love with two guys and really can’t choose? You date them both. But when Taehyung and Jungkook find out about you playing them, they decide to dick you down together, you were the one greedily taking two dicks anyway, so what’s the problem?
Contains: attempt at porn with plot, implication that fortune tellers don’t work, reader will get caught so prepare for some feelings of anxiety, fear, etc, the guys tease reader when she’s caught, reader is dating them both without them knowing, text AU mixed with story writing, reader is a cute coquette girly, some angst, reader will have sex with both guys
Smut JK: Missionary, pussy licking and fingering, his face in her pussy
Smut Tae: riding, boobplay, from behind
Smut both: taking turns, blowjobs, missionary, reader is told she has a slutty face, dirty talk, they both cum in her, boobplay
Admin note: make sure to open the images, tumblr might crop some of the convos
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“What brings you here, dear?”
"I can't choose between two guys. I… need help."
The fortune teller nodded knowingly, her fingers shuffling the tarot cards. "The cards will guide us," she said, spreading them out in a maze like pattern. "Let us see what the future holds for your heart."
You watched the fortune teller as she turned over the cards, one by one, the flickering lantern light illuminating each card. "There it is.” She tapped the card. “This card stands for “soulmate” and in combination with this card, it leads to…” Her hand inched closer to the two photos you had laid out. "I see, I see. This card shows that this young man is the one for you." She tapped on the photo. "The cards don't lie."
"Oh…” You slumped into your chair, a little disappointed.
“You seem disappointed, were you hoping for the other man?”
“No, that’s… not it. It’s nothing.”
Why tell her that this is your fifth attempt today to consult a fortune teller? And that everyone gave you a different story.
You stood up and paid her for her service. "Thank you for your help, Madam. I will take your words into consideration."
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You weren’t a bad person, really. You didn't seek Taehyung and Jungkook out with the intention to cheat on them; all you desired was an unbiased answer, just a little something to ease your indecisiveness and help you decide. But… the results of all the tarot readings were inconclusive.
Your best friend told you to pick already and not lead them on any longer.
But that was easier said than done.
Your best friend wouldn’t understand, she isn’t you, she doesn’t experience the guys the same way you do— you were convinced if she had the same predicament that she would do the same thing you did.
But she didn’t have the same predicament, she had her soulmate already. So, you wouldn’t expect her to understand.
You stared at the phone in your hand, your thumb hovering over the texting app that will connect you to either Taehyung or Jungkook.
Which would it be?
You let out a sigh, putting the phone down.
Why did this have to be so difficult? You couldn’t recall the last time you had to make such a damned difficult decision.
Then, the doorbell rang, ripping you out of your focus. You got up and headed for the door, and once you opened the door, you were met by the delivery driver.
"Good evening, Miss. I have a package for you."
"Thank you.” You accepted the package and closed the door. You looked at the package and noted that the sender was Kim Taehyung.
“Gosh, he’s so sweet.” You smiled. He knew that you had been feeling blue lately and must’ve decided that he wanted to cheer you up a bit.
But if he knew the reason for why you were down, he would’ve probably smashed and broken this present in a thousand pieces.
You opened the package, carefully, not wanting to rip the packaging, and took out the present inside.
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It didn’t take long for you and Jungkook to retreat to the bedroom after you arrived at his place, and you were soon lying naked on his bed, his tongue exploring every inch of your pussy, his fingers buried deep inside you. Your legs shook with anticipation, a soft moan slipping from your lips as your hands tangled in his hair, pushing his face deeper into your pussy.
“I love how wet you get for me. All soaked and ready to be fucked," Jungkook flicked your clit with his tongue, before he moved away and started to pump his errection. His fingers were still inside of you, his fingers curling and hitting that sensitive spot deep within.
"O-oh!” Your body curved along with his movements.
“Yeah? That’s a nice spot, hm? Like it right there, feels good there?”
You could only nod, your voice trapped in your throat.
Jungkook continued to finger you, his thumb circling your clit, and you felt your orgasm build up. However, before you could hit your climax, Jungkook pulled away, and replaced his fingers with something much better.
He slowly thrust into you, filling you up, and his head dropped into the crook of your neck, his hot breath tickling your skin. "Ah, fuck."
You were a moaning mess underneath him, your eyes closing as the pleasure intensified. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. The both of you didn’t speak; simply enjoying each other's bodies connecting.
Jungkook's thrusts increased in speed and power and you could feel the familiar coil tighten again, your body arching as you cried out.
"Close, close…” You panted.
"Come, baby. Let it all out," he whispered in your ear, leaving kisses on your neck.
That was all you needed, and your orgasm came crashing down, a loud moan slipping from your lips.
Jungkook wasn’t far behind, riding out your waves of orgasm until he, too, came.
After the sex, Jungkook went to the kitchen to prepare dinner and you stayed in bed for a few minutes, and decided to check your phone for any notifications, and you saw a message from your best friend.
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You joined Jungkook in the kitchen, sitting at the kitchen island as you watched him cook. His broad shoulders and toned back faced you, and he was only wearing his joggers which he put on after the sex.
It was a nice distraction from the earlier chat you had with Ara. Part of you thought that you went too far, but another part of you felt like it was justified to respond the way that you did. She was constantly pushing you to choose already, but she failed to realize just how difficult it was for you to choose. Both men were absolutely perfect and there was zero fault in them… and that was the whole problem. You had waited for one of them to mess up; to start an argument with you, tell you they were an ex felon, kick a puppy, yell at a service worker, shove an old lady… ANYTHING. But their faults never came, not once have they slipped up and made you think that you wanted to break up with them.
Ara's words played over and over again in your mind.
You are doing this to protect both men's hearts. Yes, that's it.
“Babe?” Jungkook's voice interrupted your thoughts, and you realized that you were staring at the table. He had set the plate in front of you and sat opposite of you, but he noticed you neither acknowledged the food or him. “You okay?”
You blinked and looked up, seeing the concerned look on his face. You managed a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry… I just was thinking of something.”
Jungkook was smart enough to know that something was bothering you, so he didn’t let go, and pressed; “What’s going on?”
You hesitated, looking down at your food, pushing the noodles around with the chopsticks.
Jungkook reached across the table and held your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Just... tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."
You looked up at him. Your expression softened, and you sighed, deciding that you needed to tell him what was going on.
"Well..." You started, your heart pounding against your chest. “I was speaking with my best friend and…” You took a deep breath, gathering the courage to tell him the truth. You were really going to do this, weren’t you? It felt somewhat… relieving to do this. No more sneaking, no more having two accounts, no lying or cheating anymore.
“She disapproves of our relationship because we are moving too fast.”
You couldn’t do it.
You were such a coward.
“Oh, I am sorry babe, what do you think? Are we moving too fast? I mean, we are in a good place right now, right?” Jungkook asked.
You felt a little bad for making him worry, so you shook your head and gave him a smile.
"We are in a good place. Don't worry about it, she's just worried and doesn't know you."
"Should I meet her?” Jungkook asked.
“Meet who?”
“Your friend, silly.”
Oh boy. If he was meeting her, there was no telling what could happen. What if Ara ran her mouth? What if she told him everything? What if she messed up? No… it was too risky.
“She’s… an exchange student abroad, but if she ever visits home, I’ll let you know, and we can meet up. How about that?"
The lies just kept piling up…
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“I missed you.” You murmured against his lips.
“I missed you too.” Taehyung deepened the kiss, his hands slipping underneath your shirt. His touch made your skin tingle and your stomach flutter, his hands were warm and big and his fingers spread over your back, pressing you closer against his chest.
“Did you?” You asked, between kisses.
Taehyung smiled, his tongue caressing your lips, before it slipped into your mouth. You let out a moan, your hands running up his toned arms.
His hands trailed further up, cupping your breasts and you gasped, breaking the kiss, but he didn't give you time to breathe, his mouth capturing yours again. His tongue was dancing with yours and you were left breathless when he eventually broke the kiss, his hands kneading your breasts.
“Mhm, I did. A lot. You are always on my mind. When I wake up, when I go to sleep, during work, when I am working out, in the shower, even when I eat, you are always on my mind, y/n"
His confession made your heart explode, and you felt heat rush to your cheeks, you didn’t expect that answer.
Taehyung took your hand and placed it on his groin. "See what you do to me, hm?" He said with a smile.
Soon, you were riding his cock, his errection peeking through the open gap in his pants, and your panties dangled onto your ankles as you rode him. His hips on your waist and he was guiding your body, making you move the way he wanted.
"I love it when you fuck yourself on my cock," he grunted. “Keep going, love.”
And that you did, until you physically weren’t able to anymore, and Taehyung took over, laying you down onto the bed, and you laid on your stomach, your hips propped up with a pillow as he started to fuck you from behind.
You couldn’t help the cries escaping your mouth, as he pounded into you, his cock hitting your g-spot with precision. Your fingers gripped onto the sheets, your face buried into the mattress.
His hands were on your waist, holding you steady as he fucked you senseless, and you could hear his heavy breathing. Then, one last pump, and he came first, letting out a deep groan.
He slowed down for a moment, before riding out his orgasm in you, until you came. Your orgasm came crashing down on you, and you whimpered and cried around his cock, and as you laid there trembling, you asked yourself; how were you ever supposed to choose between them?
It didn’t matter.
You didn't want to choose between them.
You couldn’t choose between them.
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And like that, time passed by. The two of them showered you with gifts, attention, love, and affection nonstop, every day. You were constantly on the fence, debating whether you should stop or not… but it all just felt too good, you couldn’t imagine life without either of them.
The snow crunched underneath your feet, the cold air brushing against your skin as you walked through the snow covered park, and it was getting colder by the minute. Your hands were shoved into the pockets of your coat to keep you warm.
“Are you cold?” Taehyung asked, at which you nodded. He took your hands and held them. “Do you want to go in the Gondola lift?” He nodded his head in the direction of the ski lifts, and you glanced over.
“Yes, that looks fun, let’s!” You followed him, holding his hand. You stood in the queue for a few minutes, wrapping your arms around Taehyung and resting your head against his chest as you snuggled up to him.
Soon, it was your turn and Taehyung held the door open and you scooted right next to the window, glancing out. The view wasn’t that noteworthy yet but you were sure that would change soon.
“There, now we are all together. The three of us."
Huh? You turned your head and looked at him. Taehyung stepped in, and sat next to you, and you noticed the other man standing in the doorway.
Jungkook.
A pang of happiness temporarily shot through your chest, you had missed him and you loved seeing him again, but then a realization dawned on you; they knew about each other.
And that realization quickly morphed into fear, and your heart began to pound.
You were caught.
You jumped up and tried to make a run for the door, but Taehyung grabbed your wrist and pulled you down, forcing you back down on the bench. “You’re staying right here.”
“N-no, I want to go, no!”
Your gaze flickered back and forth between them, and you felt like a trapped animal, your body frozen as your mind ran wild.
Jungkook locked the door behind him and sat down to your left, while Taehyung sat on your right; you were sandwiched in between them.
No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening.
“Why are you so shy all of a sudden, babe? Usually you are so talkative, aren’t you?" Jungkook mocked.
Your eyes filled with tears, and you lowered your gaze, ashamed. Afraid to look them in the eyes.
“Don’t you like our surprise? We prepared it all for you, love.” Taehyung placed a hand on the back of your neck, his touch causing you to flinch, and he forced you to look at him. “I thought you wanted us both, and now that we are here, you refuse to talk to us? Is that how it is?"
You didn’t answer. You couldn’t answer. You didn’t know what to say, what to do. "Answer him," Jungkook's tone was icy, and your body shook, you were petrified, unsure of what they would do to you. And just like that, you kept your gaze on your lap, and you managed to not say a word all the way back to the end point of the ski lift ride. At the end of the ride, Jungkook and Taehyung guided you back to the cabin, where things between the three of you would change forever.
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“If you want two cocks so bad, then fucking take them both.”
You were on your knees, in between the two of them, as they took turns thrusting their dicks into your mouth, one after the other. Their moans filled the room, along with the occasional gagging sound that you made.
Your body was in overdrive; it was as if your brain couldn’t comprehend that your two favorite men in the world were face fucking you both right now.
You didn’t expect it but… you were soaking wet.
“That’s it, show Taehyung how we always do it when he’s not around, don’t be shy baby.”
Taehyung pulled his cock out, and now Jungkook was the one in your mouth. You drooled over his cock, and his hand rested on the back of your head, pushing himself further inside, his errection hitting the back of your throat.
Taehyung took your hand and wrapped it around his cock, and you started to rub him off as you continued to suck Jungkook off. The two men groaned as they hovered over you, and you didn’t think you could hold it any longer.
“I’m wet, really wet, need cock, please.”
At that, Taehyung pulled you onto your feet and picked you up, before laying you down on the bed.
“Wet? Show us then, babe.” Taehyung cooed, pulling your clothes off you, and now Jungkook was in the room as well. “Spread those legs, show us how wet you really are. Do you need cock?"
"Yes, yes, please!" You spread your legs wide, exposing yourself to them, and having both of their eyes set on your pussy made you even wetter.
"This pussy is so greedy, and so fucking needy, it's dripping. Look at that.” Taehyung’s finger lingered down your folds, teasing your entrance. “So wet for us.”
Jungkook got onto the bed, deciding he’d be the first to give you what you want; cock. He hovered above you and slipped his cock in, and you moaned as his length filled you up. You wrapped your arms around him, as he thrust in and out.
This must be a dream.
Taehyung placed a hand on your cheek and turned your face to the side, his hardened cock staring right back at you, and you opened your mouth, inviting him in.
Both men fucked you, and your mind was completely blank.
Taehyung chuckled. “Damn, that pussy really is wet huh, those sounds are something else."
You couldn’t reply, as your mouth was stuffed with his cock, but you knew exactly what he meant, the lewd sounds your pussy was making was embarrassing, but also turned you on more and more. Taehyung’s hands trailed to your chest, kneading your tits. “You love it, don’t you? When we both fuck you. That slutty face tells me everything I need to know, and I bet this greedy pussy is going to come all over his cock soon, won’t it?" He pulled out his cock out of your mouth.
“Yes.. love it.” You tilted your head back, your back arching as Jungkook started hitting you in a good spot. “O-oh…”
Taehyung moved next to Jungkook and his tip teased against your swollen clit, the head rubbing against it, and that nearly sent you over the edge.
“A-ah!” You gripped onto the sheets, as the knot in your lower belly tightened, and your body tensed up, your pussy walls clenching around Jungkook’s cock.
“That’s the spot?” Jungkook teased, gripping onto your thighs to keep you in place as he picked up the pace.
“That does seem to be the spot, look at her face, she loves that spot.” Taehyung started to smack your clit with his cock, and that sent you over the edge, the knot in your stomach exploding, and you came all over Jungkook's cock, a loud cry escaping your mouth. As you came, your pussy milked his cock, hard, and he couldn’t last much longer, his cum shooting deep inside of you, Jungkook rocked his hips back and forth and only stopped when he was sure that every seed was spilled inside of you.
Jungkook pulled out, making way for Taehyung, who eagerly lined his cock up to your entrance. Jungkook came to lay down next to you, pressing his lips against yours as Taehyung pushed every inch into you, filling you up again.
"That's it, take that cock, love, Jungkook really warmed up that pussy for me, hm? It's squeezing my cock, so tight."
Taehyung fucked you with fast and deep strokes, his cock sliding in and out with ease as you were soaking wet, drenching the sheets underneath you. Jungkook started to kiss your tits instead of your lips, his tongue swirling around your nipples.
Your body was completely overwhelmed by pleasure, your head thrown back, and your mouth hanging open, your cries filling the room. You felt Taehyung grab your leg and push it over his shoulder, and pull you closer, his cock hitting deeper and faster, and you didn't know how much longer you'd last.
"Please, more, don't stop, don't stop." You begged, your breathing becoming faster.
Jungkook kissed your neck, "Such a greedy pussy, and it loves being fucked, doesn't it?" He grabbed your hand, holding it as you gripped onto it.
"Mhm, it loves it." You whispered, glancing at both men. Oh they were so perfect, they were everything you ever dreamed of, and more.
"Tell him you love it, baby." Jungkook encouraged.
"L-love it, so much, ah, ah…” You whimpered as Taehyung picked up the pace, your body bouncing up and down the bed, your tits bouncing all over the place, and it was all too much. You reached your high, another orgasm rushing through your body, and you cried as your pussy clenched around his cock.
"Yes, yes, that’s it…” Taehyung grunted, his pace now slow and deep, wanting to feel your pussy massage his cock and then he finally released himself, his hot seeds filling you up, and he rode out his orgasm, until there was nothing left to give.
“Oh…” You whimpered, turning to your side, completely exhausted, closing your eyes for a moment.
In the end, you didn’t have to choose.
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sugawhaaa · 6 months ago
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YEOSANG FANFIC
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Dead city::chapter 1
✩°。⋆⸜₊˚⊹Opened wound
Warnings:: being chained (?) Yeosang gets mad really quickly and yells a lot
Genre:: angst, slow burn,
Synopsis::when on a trip to an abandoned city to take photos you come across a strange man tied in mountains of chains. After conversing with him you become empathic and want to help this man.
A/N::this is my first time writing smth kind of angsty, not like a love story. Yeosang is just a random man and your just a random girl/person (it's never said the gender but it's implied a few times that it's a woman)
Story note!! This is a mixture of the halateez lore and my own ideas. It's not really a lovers type of thing yet it's just an imaginative story :3
An abandoned and decaying wasteland of a city surrounded you. The only thing you could see for miles was a gray sky and desolate buildings. You held your camera up, snapping photos of these abandoned buildings and old materials around. You then stumbled upon a hat, a fedora. It was in rather good condition in comparison to the dead city. You take a photo of it and squat down to get the perfect shot of it. You stand up and look at the clear image on your camera.
You continue to walk through the city as you look through the images on your camera before stumbling upon a strange building. There was a clear pathway to walk up to it so you decided to follow it. As you walk along the path you look around the city. Abandoned houses with the curtains still blowing in the wind, broken glass from the window. What appeared to be a gas station with wires hanging in the window, the white walls stained with dirt.
You finally got to the entryway of the strange building and after looking at it for a while you realized it was an old stadium. You climbed up the steps cautiously as you held your camera that was around your neck. Once you entered the stadium there was a blank area in the center, a large oval shape with thousands of seats surrounding it. You turned on your camera again and snapped a few shots. As you did so you couldn't help but sense someone's presence. You look around the abandoned stadium before turning back to your exploration.
As you climbed up the rows of seats you heard a strange sound. The sound of metal being dragged on the ground. You turn to look all around you but the sound stops. You tread carefully over to where you heard the sound. The sounds started again and you concluded that it was the sound of someone dragging chains on the ground. You turn one of the corners to see a man.
He was dressed in dark blacks and browns. His clothes ripped and his hair was damp. Your jaw drops in shock and horror as you see the chains wrapped around his body. On each of his hands was a thick metal clasp with thousands of chains on each clamp. He had two massive chains wrapped around either side of his chest creating an X shape. His ankles didn't have nearly as many chains, about three on each ankle.
You look up from the chains to his eyes. They're full of cold rage. He looks like a beast that's about to pounce at any moment. You don't know what to say to him. You'd never seen anyone in a situation like this before.
"C-Can I…" you try to come up with something to say but he just continues to analyze you in disgust. His eyes then land on the badge on your chest. He steps back and grits his teeth, his fists clenched. "I'm not here to hurt you," you warn him, extending a hand out to him before stopping. He steps back again and gets into a defensive position. He grunts in response, hearing your words but not trusting them. "I'm just a photographer," you explain as you hold up your camera with one hand. His eyes dart over to the camera then back to your face.
He continues to judge you, whether to think of you as prey or predator. "Do you have a name?" You ask before setting your camera down. The man turns his head confused as he glares at you.
"Yeosang," he states in one clean tone. He then slowly sits down, landing in a puddle of water from the constant rain in the gloomy city. Your expression softens as you squat down to his level.
"Yeosang," you repeat, trying the name on your own tongue. "How long have you been here, Yeosang?" You ask as you keep a good distance from him.
"Months…maybe years," he explains with hesitation in his voice. It seemed like he hadn't talked to someone in a while. It was like he had to think of how to make the words come out of his mouth. Your face contorts in confusion.
"If you've lived for so long all chained up you must be receiving help of sorts," you think to yourself and Yeosang doesn't speak. "Someone has to be giving you food and water or something," you look up at him, awaiting his response. He turns his head with a grunt.
"I hate…them," he says with weakened eyes. You move closer to him to comfort him but he just jumps back, kicking up his knee to his chest as he sits on the cold concrete.
"Sorry," you sigh before looking up at him again. "Who are they?" You ask genuinely and he takes a deep breath.
"Government," he replies with anger. "Government is all I know," he says with a slight shake to his voice. He seems to be frustrated with the amount of words he can say. He needs to tell you more but he can't. He hisses under his breath and grabs a fist full of his chains.
"That's okay, that's a good start," you reply, nodding your head. "Do you know why you're here?" You ask another question. He seems triggered by the question. It seemed you were poking at a mental scar that hadn't fully healed yet. He just grunted and turned away from your gaze.
"Hala," he replies coldly. Your eyes widen at his words. Hearts awaken, live alive. It was the quota of an underground organization that strived to overthrow the government.
You look at him surprised and his shell instantly hardens again. "Go away," he growls as he sees the hesitation in your eyes. "If you don't like Hala, leave," he hisses. "I don't want your help!" He stands back up again and you jump back in fear. He looks down at your expression, your eyes shaking and your body low to the ground, crying for help. Yeosang instantly softens again. You reminded him of his younger self, in a similar position, crying to the ground. His breaths increase and he turns away from you. His chains rattled as he moved.
You sit there, trying to process everything. You grab your camera and make sure it's unharmed.
"Were you part of Hala?" You ask softly as you hold the camera to your chest. You watch Yeosangs back rise and fall as he takes a deep breath.
"I am a part of Hala," he corrects you. He didn't want to think of Hala as something of the past. They were still living, he would find his members, they'd win in the end.
"Right," you nod your head and keep a safe distance from him. You watch as he sighs, his body relaxing. "Are you hurt?" You ask, nothing red marks on his bare arms and back.
"No," he responds quickly and you sigh. You know he's lying but you can't just hold him down as you inspect his wounds.
"Do you want to be…free?" You ask. It seemed like a pretty obvious question. Of course he wanted to be free. He was chained up for so long he forgot how to speak and interact with humans. But deep down you know he's thinking something else as well.
"I…" he pauses before turning back to look at you, sitting in front of you again as the two of you talk. "I want to get out of these," he holds up his chains. "I want to see my family again," he explains, referring to Halateez. "But, I don't know where to begin. If I get out, where do I go?" He looks down at the concrete beneath the two of you.
You nod as you listen to him. He definitely needed to vent a lot. He hadn't seen a human in potentially years and the mental toll this whole situation would've taken on him. He has been chained up, forced to watch the city of life in the distance while starved and alone."What would I eat? Who would I talk to? When you asked if I wanted to be free, you were talking about my chains. I don't want to just be free of these, I want to be free of this world. I want to escape," he explains with a determined look. You nod, understanding his predicament.
"I have only one more question," you look up at him with sympathy. He node gently, telling you to continue. "What did you do to get caught? How did it all happen?" You ask. You know you're pushing boundaries a little but you really wanted and frankly needed to know. He turns to look away from you again.
"It's complicated. Hala had enough of the government and started a serious rebellious act. We hacked into the government's programs, ambushed them, broke thousands to millions of laws and it started working. People started second-guessing the government and we were heading in the right direction. One kid escaped from one of the schools that the government-owned but once they found out he had left because of our influence, they went crazy," he begins to tell his story, your eyes watching him as he explains it. "Groups of officials were on our case before capturing us one by one. The first time one of the members of Hala was captured we promised him we'd come back for him," Yeosang then sighed looking up at the sky. "But he still waits for us," Yeosang then clenches his jaw and looks in the distance to the city. "He's so close. Right there. Tied up in cords in a lab but he's alive," Yeosangs eyes fill with rage and determination.
You have to sit and think for a moment, processing his story. "I know you don't understand but I need him. I need to fulfill my promise," Yeosang stood up, his back turned to you. You watch as he stares often in the distant city of life. You sigh. You want to free him but he was a criminal and you were a goody two-shoes who always followed commands without question but lately, you've been second-guessing the government and its system.
"I want to free you…I really do but I don't even know where to start and…I could die if I set you free and then go back to the city," you explain sincerely. He sighs as you stand to your feet again. "But I'll be back tomorrow. I need to know more," you explain as you walk to stand in front of him. "I'll be back," you smile and he huffs, turning his head.
"It makes no difference to me," he turns back to hide in the shadows. He sits in his pile of chains as he watches you walk off. You become one with the fog as you run back to your house. Once you're out of his view he yells and hits the bleachers next to him. He was so close to escape but so far.
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hotxcheeto · 1 year ago
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Heyyy could you please post something about Abby x female reader. So it starts with Abby and lev in a forest and suddenly someone shoots in Abby’s direction but not hitting her (on purpose) that’s were the reader comes in she doesn’t fight them cause she knows lev because she was on the island before and helped him in some way then she takes them to the place she lives (it’s kinda like Jackson just in a forest)
━ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐓
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𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Mentions and a slight description of imaginary violence, abby and reader don't like each other for the most part, I don't think there's any cursing, the end though is open ;)
𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope
𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - I don't know if I like how I wrote this... ty for requesting though!! <3
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The cracked, broken and rotting bark beside her head was not the place she'd hoped another arrow would make home. A few having already flew passed making her head dizzy and her body spin to catch just a glimpse or a sliver of whoever it was.
But there was always nothing, absolute barren surroundings that only had a milky film drenched over the top. It was impossible to tell whether or not you were close or far, right beside her or hiding fifty meters from where they stood.
The fact that she could not once locate you sent a surge of panic to set in whilst she ducked behind a tree, motioning for Lev to do the same. The boy stared at her, fear flooding his pupils but she was more focused on listening.
She couldn't hear a sound, speculating that you either were being completely still or if you were moving, you had been being extremely quiet yet articulate about the way in which you stepped on the dirt. Not a branch broke, or a leaf would rustle, just the own sound of her heartbeat in her ears. Pounding against her skull and beating violently against her ribcage.
It was as if her surroundings were desolate, but your threatening existence was still very much active and present.
"I know you're there..." She heard you before she seen you, your voice echoing off the silence, bouncing from tree to tree, it was impossible to tell where you were coming from. "I seen the boy with you."
Lev gave Abby a stare, she could see the adrenaline rush at just the mention of his mere presence. His life for a split second flickering across his pupils, images popping into his mind as he danced into a state of distraction.
"I know him."
And then he was back, both him and her looking at each other. Bewilderment stunning their forms as the crack of a twig finally gave away that you were in fact, directly in front of them. Standing there, holding your bow, but when Lev looked, it was pointed downward.
"He was my friend..." Your voice wasn't familiar at first, until he thought, because before now you hadn't talked much, and when you did, it was in whispers. Your husband preferred when you were quiet, but Lev liked all of your stories that you would make up from your head. Those made him happy, they made him forget about all the bad around him for a moment, they were familiar.
"Y/n?" He stood, much to Abby's dismay, walking out right ahead of you. Abby didn't hesitate then, only showing half of her whilst peaking out from the tree, cautious, as curiosity had once killed the cat.
"Why're you with her? She's a wolf." Abby tilted to look at the patch she hadn't ripped off her jacket, suddenly regretting the fact she hadn't tore it off and burned it a lot earlier.
"No, she left, after she helped me and-" Lev paused, noticing the way you tilted your head when his thoughts drifted again. "Where's Yara?" You then asked softly, cautiously, like you hadn't wanted to ask the question in the first place but you hadn't had a choice.
"She's..." You nodded, allowing him to come to a conclusion without having to say a word. "How?" You looked up at Abby, seeing the blonde shake her head. "I tried, they got her before I could..."
You hummed, pulling Lev towards you and into a hug which he hurriedly accepted. Your thumb moving to the side of his cheek to trace over one of the healed scars that still wasn't as faded as yours that have been and will forever etch out your cheeks to their shape.
"We heard about... about a place out here." Abby began, not needing to continue as you nodded, looking down at the boy. "I live there, but, they're not big fans of the people you used to... run with." Lev pulled away, looking back at Abby, worried.
"You can come... but only because you're with him." Her eyes were trained on the way you walked to her side, staring her down while your hand creeped up to her jacket. The tips of your fingers digging underneath the patch before yanking it off.
"They don't take kindly to the brutality on either sides." You held it out to her, fingers brushing over your palm when she took back the WLF patch and tucked it away. "Not what was mine, and not what is yours."
"She's good now." Lev interrupted, making you shift your body to look at the boy who stood up straight when he spoke. "I promise."
"A bug or a predator, she'll go through the same entrance questions everyone else does. Along with you, but at least you'll have a voucher." Her eyes about popped from her head when you spoke, following after you when you began walking once more.
"Bug?" You laughed at her tone, shrugging your shoulders. "Most wolves were fireflies once, you're apart of the rest of them, are you not?"
There was a pregnant pause, one that was tense and suffocating while you walked. She was choosing which nouns and verbs she'd string together in order to speak, but there was a rather large moment between, where all that was heard were the crunches underneath your boots.
"I was. They're gone now." You stopped, turning around to her as she finished speaking. "Not all of them. You're still here. Though, if you start taking the vigilante route and blowing our community up, we don't have a FEDRA lockup to throw you in. Unfortunately."
She glared at you, only for Lev to clear his throat in order to stop whatever ultimate staring contest you'd gotten yourselves into. Pulling you backwards by your hand to separate whatever tussle the two of you were going to get into if you continued standing that close.
"You know ab-"
"I wasn't always part of the... what did your people call us? Scars?"
"Stop it." Lev demanded, squeezing your hand to gather up your attention like they were scattered apples lying across the ground. "Both are gone, or dead. Just stop."
And you did, hushing yourself, giving a split second to look over her features. Examining the aggravated, fiery swirl in her grey appearing eyes. The way her jaw clenched and then relaxed when you took yet another step back.
"Let's go." You then mumbled, allowing Lev to walk in front of you while Abby behind you, even if that in fact made you nervous. You trusted Lev enough though, that his opinion on the girl kept you from shoving and arrow head through her neck and leaving her to bleed out.
"I don't call them scars anymore." She spoke quietly, Lev too far ahead on the makeshift path that weaved between trees to hear a single vowel. "Lev said that it's... offensive."
She smiled when you laughed slightly, shaking your head.
"Better than what some other wolves called us. They were cruel, inhuman, if you could even begin to call them human." You took in a deep breath, crossing your arms in a half attempt to warm yourself up.
"What they would do... the leader. Or do you call him the Alpha?" Abby snorted at your words, shaking her head. "Isaac. Yara got rid of him." You frowned, eyebrows furrowing. "Is that how..." "Yeah."
Again the act of talking become extinct, though the steps were much more comfortable. But there was something still strained about the connection between the both of you, you figured that it would end up staying that way. Not that you'd have it differently.
"Will they accept me?" She asked, looking over at you and seeing you tilt your head back and forth. "If I give a good word, you'll have a much better chance. But I'm not sure if I want to."
It was a teasing tone underlined with quiet threat, your hands adjusting your bag and bow while stepping down the old staircase that was a landmark that you were close.
"How sweet of you."
"I try... not very hard though. Your feathers are easy to ruffle. I wouldn't call you a wolf, maybe a pigeon instead."
Abby scoffed as you walked ahead of her, only catching your eyes when you turned to give her a grin.
"Well what're you waiting for? Come on, it's just up ahead."
It was a shame that you were agitating, because you were also a nice sight compared to the far worse things she'd been used to.
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befuddled-calico-whump · 1 year ago
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Hand in Hand (part one)
A Riot Kings AU: When Melchior is betrayed by his men, Wes tries to help him escape. Before long, both men are captured.
@whumptober No. 6: Made to Watch
cw: torture, burning, death threat
///// next
~ ~ ~
The scream is almost loud enough to blow out the speaker, and it's all Dan can do not to cringe away from it, closing his eyes and covering his ears and pretending it's all a bad dream. Instead, he sits straight-backed in the metal chair, poised like he's attending a meeting in spite of the bruises blooming on his skin, the cuffs locked around his wrists. His face is expressionless, in spite of the man on the screen, bound and shaking.
In spite of being forced to watch the torture of the one person who cared enough to try and save him.
Dan almost flinches at the next scream, as the masked soldier presses the hot iron into Wes's bare chest. There are already a half-dozen similar burns scattered across his ribcage, standing out against pale, sweat-damp skin. Dan tries staring at the dingy wall behind his friend in an effort to avoid looking at his face, avoid seeing the desperation there. But every cry of pain only pulls his eyes back, sharpening the deep ache in his chest.
Swift knows what she's doing. She must've seen the burn scars covering Wes's back, must've known how much this would terrify him. If this is a game, she's already several moves ahead of Dan. His only weapon in this scenario, his only defense against this attack, is indifference.
And it hurts so much to play at indifference. But he knows it will be so much worse for Wes if he doesn't. There's no telling what Swift will do if she learns that this is a weak point.
When he's sure it's been long enough, when he can feel Swift's eyes on him, watching for a reaction, Dan finally speaks.
"Why are you showing me this?" he says, and it takes a considerable amount of effort to flatten his voice, but somehow he manages.
"Oh Mr. Melchior," Swift says in an oversweet voice. "Don't you care for the only man who remains loyal to you?"
"One man is insignificant," Dan replies, staring past the screen. "You've already won, Swift. Answer my question."
She doesn't, a smile playing on her lips as she pushes a button with a gloved hand, leaning forward to speak into the microphone above it. "Kill him."
The words rip through Dan like an electric shock. He can't keep his voice steady as he utters a quiet, "What?"
As the masked man on the screen reaches for his gun, Mercury grins at Dan, not even trying to feign surprise. "What's wrong? Didn't you just say he was insignificant?"
He tries to recover, tries to smear the callous expression back onto his face, but he knows it's too late. "Why waste a bullet on him?"
"Would you rather I have him beaten to death?"
The image is in his head before he can stop it; Wes lying bloody and unmoving on the cold concrete, Wes in agony right up until his last breath. "No."
"So you'll see no issue if--"
"No," Dan says again. On the screen, Wes is looking at the gunman, his executioner, with fearful eyes. His face is streaked with tears, and his mouth is moving with frantic, silent pleas. Like he's begging Dan to save him. Like there's anything Dan can do besides prolong his suffering. The gun is raised, pressed to Wes's forehead, and Dan flinches with him.
"Please don't hurt him." The words spill out, the facade fully broken. "Please. Just tell me what you want."
To his relief, she hits the button again. "Stop. Our guest has reconsidered." The man holsters the gun, and Dan wonders if it's even loaded, or if it's just another part of her game. Either way, Swift has accomplished her goal.
"There's a good man," she says, pulling at the edge of a glove. "I knew you were soft."
"What do you want?" he tries again through gritted teeth, but Swift only laughs.
"Patience, Mr. Melchior. We'll discuss terms once you've become more familiar with the stakes."
The stakes? She's already made those abundantly clear. Do her bidding, or Wes gets hurt. But what is her bidding?
When Swift speaks again, it's not Dan she's addressing, but the guards flanking the door. His own men, or at least they had been until last night.
"Put him in the cell," she orders. "We'll continue this conversation in the morning."
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kitxkatrp · 4 months ago
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🎨,🖤,🏹,💔,🎄,❌(Lan Fan),🗡️,😶‍🌫️,❤️‍🔥, 💄, ❤️, 🎀, 🧪, 🤔, 💀(Fu's death), ✍️ all for LING YAO c:
🎨 ARTIST PALETTE— what are some hobbies that you like to partake in? do you think they're just to pass time or to distract yourself, or do you believe some of them potentially have therapeutic outcomes for you?
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"I like eating and trying new foods that I haven't tried before! It's loads of fun, but also, I tend to faint if I don't eat very often, so it's beneficial for me anyway. Besides, it's relaxing."
🖤 BLACK HEART — what would you say is the darkest thought you've ever experienced? what do you think caused you to have that thought? have you ever planned on or fantasized about acting on it?
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"When Envy changed into Lan Fan...I was horrified....but a part of me wanted to rip him to pieces, slowly, carve his tongue out and rip out his eyes for daring to defile the image of someone I cared about." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I didn't get the chance to, but I still think about it sometimes. I'm...a little upset I never got the chance to have a go at him, but I hear Mustang did a good job of it by himself."
✈️ AIRPLANE — have you traveled anywhere that helped you discover something about yourself and/or about the world?
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"I traveled to Amestris to find the secret of immortality, but...while I was there I think I got stronger as a person. I lost some important things and a person along the way...and I still walked out of it accomplishing my goal. I think...because I did that, I can lead this country more efficiently."
💔 BROKEN HEART — is there anyone in your life you wish you had a better relationship with? if so, how come? what makes this person important to you?
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"I'm not sure if this counts since he died not that long after I became Emperor, but I wish I had a better one with my Father. I wish that I wasn't just a number to him. I wish it wasn't all /games/ to see who was succeed him. I wish he had actually cared for each of us individually. For us he was one person. To him, we were all melded together like a stew. I always despised that about him."
🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your favorite holiday and why?
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"New Years, New Years Day specifically. I like the festivities, and I like the promise of a new year. It means you survived yet another year, you're still alive, and you get to celebrate being alive. What's there not to like about that? Oh...also the food."
❌ CROSS MARK — how would your life be different if [name of person] had never been in it? would it be better or worse?
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"I--honestly I don't want to think about that. But...I think I would have failed my quest. I don't think I would be Emperor without her support and I don't think I would have survived very long. I....she's always been by my side and made me feel safe. Without Lan Fan...I don't want to know."
🗡️ DAGGER — what is something or someone you know you can't afford to lose? how far are you willing to go to make sure you don't lose it/them?
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"Lan Fan or Greed. I refuse to lose either of them. I nearly did, both of them, multiple times, and that was the worst feeling I've ever felt. I refuse to let myself fall into that state again and for that, I need them both with me. They are my strength."
😶‍🌫️ FACE IN CLOUDS — is there something you're hiding from the people you love? if so, how urgent is it for them to hear it? what's holding you back from sharing it?
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"I....am both proud of myself and hate myself just a little. I am proud for making it this far...but I am...ashamed of what it took to get me here and the sacrifices that had to be made. If I had been stronger, Lan Fan would've never lost her arm and Fu might still be here. Even Greed, I wasn't strong enough to avenge his friends either. They...don't need to know I feel like this. They would tell me it wasn't my fault, or responsibility, but....I can't change how I feel."
❤️‍🔥 HEART ON FIRE — what angers you the most? what triggers this anger, and how do you cope with it? what does this anger feel like, if you had to describe it?
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"People like King Bradley that claim to rule a country without a care for the citizens they govern. That sort of selfishly driven person isn't suited to lead a country, nor should they hold their head high like he did. The fact he not only called me a fool for caring about my country's citizens, but also had the gall to harm those close to me, makes me angry. I wish I had been the one to bring him to his knees, if only to prove to him that he was wrong. This deep burning feeling inside of me, it was the first time I've ever felt it."
💄 LIPSTICK — have you had any romantic or sexual experiences that made you realize something about yourself?
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Ah hell, they just had to ask this one, didn't they? "Well..I..." He swallowed thickly. "Realized that I really like to be touched....more than I thought I ever would....and I actively desire it. I....didn't realize I was that kind of person." Just from kisses too.
❤️ RED HEART — what is/are your love language(s)? how do you use it/them to communicate your feelings about others?
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"Sharing a meal! Oh? Does that not count? I guess...hugs and kisses, and paying attention to the little things. But to be honest, I think that might be less of a love language and more of...something I've learned to survive." Considering how many people were trying to kill him-- "But either way, I like to think it says that I care. I'm....a bit too awkward to say it out loud most of the time."
🎀 RIBBON BOW — how confident are you with your physical appearance? is there anything about it that you are insecure about? is there anything about it that you are happy about or gives you confidence? how do you think people perceive you based on your physical appearance?
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"...." He hates this question. "...Do I have to be honest? ...Okay fine, I don't think I'm handsome or attractive at all. I don't like any of it. I wish I could change how I look. I don't even know what it is about it that I hate, except all of it. I don't know how people look at me, but I do know how I feel and I just...don't like it."
🧪 TEST TUBE — if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what is one thing you absolutely have to resolve and/or do before then?
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"....Spend one more night showing them how much I love them. Maybe say it to them a few times to their faces, and hold them the whole time until my last breath. And I'd hope....that the last thing I'd see would be their faces."
🤔 THINKING FACE — what three emotions tend to dominate your mindset? do you know why they do?
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"Hungry, exhausted, and determined. I'm always hungry, I'm always tired and never get enough sleep, but I always pull through and never give up."
💀 SKULL — how has [name of person] 's death influenced your outlook on life, if anything?
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"I...feel like that naive part of myself died with him. The part that still thought I could achieve my goal without anymore sacrifices. It...really kicked my ass into gear and told me a lot about what being a ruler means. I won't....forget that lesson." He missed Fu.
✍️ WRITING HAND — what is one thing you wish you were better at? this can be a tactical skill, social skill, hobby, etc.
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"....Expressing my feelings. I really do think I'm terrible at it. When I try to say something profound to someone I love, I get frightened and lose my will...it's kind of embarrassing."
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captainderyn · 1 year ago
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The way you said “I love you”: 25. Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave
*stares in this being in my inbox since September 2019* I'm so sorry
Instead of this rotting in my drafts, I'm pulling another "that's not really what this prompt is" and wedging it into my needs for a little fic. So this will stop haunting me. Ugh.
Wulfwryn/Raenor (general spoilers for Vol 2 of the Epic questline I believe)
(Reading My World Is You will provide super helpful context)
--
Wulfwryn had dallied beneath the golden boughs of Lothlorien for far too long.
It was selfish, self-serving; she should have stayed in the deep and dark halls of Moria after handling matters in Zurr-thurkh. Her business was with Brogur, and with finding the lost dwarves who had been hustled away while Mazog toyed with and tortured Raenor.
It didn't matter that Brogur and Corunothiel both had directed her back to the sunlight, perhaps seeing that she was fighting to hang onto the single thread holding her together, directed her back towards Raenor. Every moment she spent with him as he healed, every morning she woke up pressed against the warmth of his body, guilt gnawed at her.
It was still too soon as she tightened her horse's girth and tied her saddle packs behind the cantle. Her hands were steady as she made sure both her sword and shield, repaired and shining from the forges of Caras Galadhon, were securely fastened to her saddle, but her mind was anything but steady.
"Wulfwryn," Her heart faltered at the soft, ragged plea in Raenor's voice.
His beautiful voice, still not fully healed from the foul concoctions Mazog had forced down his throat in an attempt to turn him into one of the brutal creatures of darkness that lurked in Moria's deepest pits.
She shuddered as she fought off the image of him in Azanarkâr, bloody and broken, burning with a fever from the poisons. She'd hardly slept a sound night since she'd returned to him healing here in Lothlorien, waking every few hours to check that he was still there with her.
Yet here she was, planning to leave all over again.
"Wulfwryn," Raenor repeated and she turned to face him, schooling all thoughts of him in those dark caverns from her mind and expression. His eyes searched hers, still finding what she tried to hide, "Please don't go."
"I have to." She left her horse where it was tied, slipping close to Raenor. He shook beneath her gentle touch as she slid her hands up his arms, settling one on either side of his jaw. His hair, shorn to his shoulders after being hacked at with orcish steel, slid through her fingers as she brushed it back, "I cannot leave the dwarves to Gorothúl's plans."
Raenor grasped her wrists, the bandages still covering his hands and arms rough against her skin. He leaned his cheek into her hand, pale eyes pleading, "Please do not go back into those evil halls."
For Moria called her back. Always the towering stone halls of Moria.
"The path to Gorothúl is there."
They both already knew this, she'd included Raenor in all of these plans at his insistence, even as he healed, even as each mention of Moria bled the color from his face.
"Then take me with you." Raenor's grip tightened on Wulfwryn's wrists as she look aside, agony ripping through her chest at the break in his voice, "Do not fight those horrors without me by your side."
Though she didn't trust the burning in her eyes to not overflow as the words she had to say built in her throat, she forced herself to look back at him anyway. To face the genuine fear written stark across Raenor's face.
"My love, you must stay here to heal." She brushed her thumb across his cheekbone, swiping away the tears that were falling. They'd never been separated, not like this. Never when one could go where the other could not follow. "The healers here at Caras Galadhon are the ones who can restore full use of your hands to you, who can make sure what happened there will not haunt you so."
Squeezing his eyes closed, Raenor took in a sharp breath through his nose, "I don't want to lose you down there."
His voice was so hoarse she almost couldn't make out the words, even as her soul shattered at the desperation, the pain flowing freely from him.
Careful not to hit spots that were still tender she closed the distance between them, pulling him close and burying her head in the crook between his neck and shoulder. He wrapped her tight in his arms, whole body shuddering.
"You will not lose me." She promised, "You will not. I will return for you, I will always return to you."
A reckless promise to make, but every passing day made it more and more obvious that these were reckless times. Unknown times.
In a perfect world she would not be pulling herself from him. If she were a more selfish person, perhaps she'd turn her back on the dwarves in Moria, proclaim that it was no longer her battle to fight, that she had greater wars to wage.
But just as she'd forsaken Amdir for the grand idea that she must find her rightful king, Wulfwryn forsook her peace with Raenor for the grand quest to find Gorothúl and his stolen captives.
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dexare · 5 months ago
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[ TRUE PESPECTIVE ]
(Heavy wind interference) (Sreams can be heard in the background) Log:006 by Dr. Vincent Monet From the Constance Foundation on CF/Local-0003.
" Fuck me, Mark just got his leg shredded by the tip of a pyramid!...
We found a narrow path up the valley, we were hoping to get high enough to avoid the sand but the path was so fucking narrow that Mark completely fell off, the only reason his not dead is because his leg got fucking impaled by one of the pyramids poking out from the sand. I honestly can't tell you if his lucky or not. The tip pierced his leg around the thigh and ripped away to his feet, his royally fucked. How the hell is the wind that strong, it just fucking lifted the guy and throw him over the edge fuck.. we need to make a camp, we need to move guys!..."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Log:007 by Dr. Vincent Monet From the Constance Foundation on CF/Local-0003.
"Jesus, how do I ever start this.. alright, so yesterday was a fucking journey man. Marks doing alright for the most part, but he lost so much blood that he fell unconscious, still hasn't woken up yet.
A lot of things helped him out, and the fucker still breathing at least. Milo's keeping an eye on him says that he's healing fast.. too fast, I won't even try with that. I recommend a quarantine once we get back.... His suit was compromised, it did repaired itself pretty fast so I'm guessing that's what saved his life the most, stopped his leg from losing any more blood an gave it pressured, I'm pretty sure he'd be dead without it. My ########## didn't make it, so I doubt he would either, even in a place like this one.
Anyway, that's not really everything. Yesterday, after Mark suit stabilized him, we kept climbing the hillside all the way to the top. We found a pretty good camp side... I couldn't get the camera to work then but this, this is what I was talking about a couple of days ago [image], there's way too many of them the way the sand falls, how they suddenly pop out from the wind blowing it away its like watching a video of plants growing, it's honestly beautiful but also terrifying when you realize that pyramid is the size of a mountain and the video is now playing backwards with you desapering into the fucking sand.
Its fucked, but at least we're high enough that it's not a problem anymor..kinda.. Now the new problem is just the fucking wind.. it just doesn't fucking stop, we pinned everything down but of course it's still fucking sand, so it obviously doesn't hold shit!. AINT THAT RIGHT THOMASss YOU FUCKING stupid CUNT!....
*sight* Sorry, sorry, it fine, we're managing. It's fine. it's oki doki. We're still fine....... What really got me on edge is what I saw this morning...
Like I mentioned before, we're still keeping an eye on the sky to chart it out an see we're we are in Galaxy and all that time stuff, but this storm just doesn't let up, its like a nonstop hurricane without rain, just movement of air in random directions. It's getting on my nerves, but yesterday, for whatever reason, i felt like sitting outside while i was looking at the cloud formations.... but then.. then I noticed something that chilled me to the ficking bones, and I can still feel it, that leftover sensation creeping up on me that sudden rush of adrenaline and fear still pumping in my vains.
While i sat looking at the clouds, I saw an opening forme in between the clouds. It was directly on top of me... when I tried to look beyond it.... I saw a world completely upside down with another person looking back at me. The landscape was black, and the entire formation in the sky sharpened to a pyramid... I dont know if it was a mirror or something else, but it looked broken....
It couldn't have been the same place I was standing on.. the landscape looked different, but the man had a suit just like mine, and they were standing there as surprised as i was..."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Log:0010 by Dr. Vincent Monet From the Constance Foundation on CF/Local-0003
"We managed to get to the other side, and the smart device is still operational, but we had to leave the hover cart behind. On a good note, Mark can walk again and... as far, as i can tell, he doesn't act any differently... for now, at least... hmph..
Anyways, the sky is completely clear finally. Yesterday, after that thing that happened, Thomas managed to chart it out, Ay's was right about his prediction. it's an Earth variant...□○■●□○
□○■●□○■●...the sky is still completely clear, no roof, no dark pyramids, no reflection.... I talked to Thomas, and apparently, he saw something similar while working on the chart...
I still can't explain it, but where moving on to pyramid and the city, i dont think we're gonna get any answers on this run...
I'm definitely coming back here.."
#ChroniclesofRebellion #Fragment #MissingChronology Part - 6/7/10 | Sevdeliza- Grace
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shellyswirlz · 11 months ago
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I saw your post on anti-shroomy and anger. I don't know you much, I never will, but if you care to listen or something, I can give you some words on my part. Ignore these if you want, if anything I say angers you in any way I'm so so sorry in advance and I apologize.
People say that anger is always controllable. That's not how everyone works. People can't really separate one image of you from another. By what I'm told, I feel like some people just treat you like a walking time bomb then an actual person. But, your anger is not inherently a bad thing. It's a part of you that's angry at the world because that's the part that loves you the most, it knows that it wasn't fair enough to you or to anyone else. It wants the treatment you deserve to have. You lash out at people you consider 'bad', like family or the internet strangers you said before. I know I shouldn't be making comparisons of this sort, but it sounds to me that these people in your life are your 'demons'. I don't have background knowledge, but sometimes people get mad at their family for a lot of things. You just don't see it as often because family is harder to get angry at. To lash out at, because they've been with you your whole life. I get that you want it to stop. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, either. I'd suggest therapy, but that record is broken again and again, so I'm going to suggest alternatives.
try keeping an 'anger journal'. Write what makes you angry in a situation. Write and vent in it, draw, rip it, I don't care. After you've finished the journal, you could burn it. Burn it and watch your anger burn away, in a sense.
Or sometimes you just need to fuck shit up. Something to yell and cry at. It's not socially acceptable, but you need to do it sometimes because everyone experiences their emotions differently.
Again, im sorry If i offended you in any way.
Nono it's ok I understand! You didn't offend me at all... It just feels so uncontrollable to me personally 'cause when I'm angry I'm throwing things around or hitting people even though I really don't actually wanna hurt people.. My nasty behavior just.., doesn't feel like me cause my friends and family know me as this happy cheerful person, but when I lash out it feels like a sudden explosion went on in the house.
My mom is usually saying how she knows I don't mean it and she tries her best to separate my anger from my optimism. She tries her best to help. But I know that my anger is still apart of me because it's an emotion everyone has... 😭
I get what you mean completely. Whenever I'm angry I'm usually playing Fortnite or typing long paragraphs in google docs or in vent/rant channels on Discord so the people I'm mad at can't see. But at the moment after the person made me angry I start to lash out cause I want them to hear my opinion on what I think about them. It feels like I'm unable to stay calm when people insult me or do things I don't like.. And it became a real bad problem.
I might try your therapy suggestion to see if that works...
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taliah-tezel · 2 years ago
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"Mm, maybe? I don't know about the wheelchair though, if our legs don't work, it doesn't sound hopeful for our arms either. We can fork out for a couple of those electric scooters... If we're going to race, we might as well put at least 5-mile speed behind it." Taliah grinned, finding even the mental image of it amusing. It's only when he says she can't leave him either, she turns her focus directly to his baby blues. "Never, angel." A nod, a quick kiss to his forehead, and a soft smile that warms her eyes. "Not if I can help it... And even in that case, I'd probably fight my way back to you." She added, a softer laugh that barely made it out her throat. It was quite a morbid conversation, though the sentiment was touching. It never needed to be spoken out loud just how much the two of them were a package sort of deal, but it was always nice to hear those little reminders. She had his back, and he had hers, until death dared to tear them apart. Even then, she'd like to think they would find each other in whatever afterlife might be out there.
"Yeah, that's how it should stay." The door being shut, that was. She didn't further explain why, merely trusted that Cole knew it only came from a place of love and concern. She wanted what was best for him and was never afraid to voice that. In this case, Taliah was only expressing and agreeing with what he already knew to be true. The trust was broken in a way that would never be restored enough to rebuild a solid foundation. Him being smart enough to see that and not risk his heart by trying again gave her one less thing to worry about.
"That's all I need." Time. She wasn't fool enough to think she could undo every layer of trauma and damage that plagued his heart. Some scars ran too deep, what she hoped, as she always had, was that one day he would see himself in a better light. Even if he could only turn one self-sabotaging thought into a positive one, she would call it a victory. "I could do that, who doesn't love Eminem? If I'm going to rip off someone else's work I might as well start at the top." Taliah chuckled. She knew Cole had a point when he said a dirty bathroom stall wasn't the best place for a heart-to-heart, but honestly? It wasn't the where that actually mattered. What mattered was having a private space to just be present with him.
The laughter from her teasing twisted into a squeal as she tried to bat his hands away from her sides. "Stop that!" An attempt to sound firm, though it failed miserably as she was betrayed by her own smile. "We can stay and watch it if you want to, I don't want you to miss out?" She didn't really mind, though it seemed he didn't either. "McDonald's?" With an excited intake of breath, the idea of chicken nuggets suddenly appealed to her more than anything else. Taking a step back as he stands up, her hands slide down to rest on his sides. "You wanna stay with me tonight? Or I can stay with you?" If he didn't want to go home now, she couldn't imagine that feeling was going to change in the next hour or two. "I'll let you be little spoon?" Taliah grinned, squeezing his hips.
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Amusement, clear and pure, flickered against the backdrop of his warm baby blues as he tipped his head to the side and listened to her rant. At the risk of sounding morbid, Cole had never imagined much longevity to his life, not with the way he lived. He knew whatever plans he had could be cut short solely because of the reaper he wore on his back and he’d accepted that possibility (or probability, more accurately) long ago. But rather than force Taliah to fight some deity over him and avoid the slap she was promising him, Cole figured he’d spare them both and reconsider. “So what you’re tellin’ me is that we’re gonna have wheelchair races when we’re older?” He prompted, raising a brow at her as he tried to picture that ridiculous scenario. “‘Cause ya can’t leave me either, darlin’. Ever.” He’d been confronted with the fear of losing her once before, and he’d ended up spending five years in prison over it. 
Contrary to popular belief, Cole was quite capable of forgiveness. What he couldn’t do was forget, and so there’d really be no coming back from the way Cassie had chosen to exit stage left, should she ever resurface in Tonopah. Cole was a lot of things, but a masochist wasn’t one of them. She’d already used up her one last opportunity to hurt him. “Yeah, at this point, that door is better left slammed shut,” he mused aloud, fully aligning with what Taliah had said about trust. Once Cole’s was broken, that was it. Trust wasn’t some tangible thing that could be pieced back together.
A warm smile returned the moment hers did as she latched onto the word yet and what it might mean for the way he viewed himself. “There’s still time,” he murmured, though Cole wasn’t holding his breath, but he admired Taliah’s tenacity on the subject. Regardless of whatever he did or didn’t believe about himself, Taliah had enough faith in him to renew his spirit every single time the world around him tried to break it. Right now, that was enough for him to lean on and draw strength from. Chuckling, Cole shook his head, having a hard time imagining anyone booing her, “Nah, just get up there and quote Eminem, the crowd would eat that shit up.” As she squeezed him, Cole winced slightly at the pressure to his bruised side, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t shake off. It certainly wasn’t a dealbreaker whenever it came to her hugs. “I’m fine,” he laughed, knocking his head in a brief shake, “Ya ain’t gonna break me.”
Noting that dimpled grin, Cole couldn’t help but flash back a smile of his own, as though the warm in her expression was that infectious. “Never borin’,” he agreed. Lifting his brows, he shot her a wide eyed, gaped mouth look as she leaned in and sniffed him. “Is that right?” He fired back, his fingers quick to tickle at her sides as he shuffled forward, almost like he was threatening to rub a whole layer of sweat on her unless she took her comment back. But it didn’t take long for him to break out in laughter and relent, content to just settle as her hands came up to rest against his neck. Mulling over her words, he gave a thoughtful hum, “Ya hungry? Kinda wanted to watch the main event, but I’d rather dip out with you.” If she wanted to, anyway, though something told him she wasn’t invested in the fights still going on in the other room— at all. “Plus, last time I checked, I won a whole fifty bucks tonight— I could take ya somewhere real nice as long as I don’t need to get gas on the way,” he teased, clearly poking fun at just how measly tonight’s winnings were, but that was to be expected after not fighting for nearly a year. But it hardly mattered— he hadn’t been fighting for the money anyway. Sighing softly, he finally pushed himself off the sink’s edge with a grunt, but kept his arms just as they were around her, “Just don’t really feel like goin’ home,” he admitted with a shrug, not really relishing the idea of being alone either. 
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espinosaurusrexex · 3 years ago
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Dying Isn't So Scary with You, Either
BuckyBarnes x female!reader
In which Bucky and Y/N have to put their deep late night conversation to the test.
This is part two of an imagine I posted. I guess it can be read independently, you just won't get all the references.
a/n: sobbing rn, please tell me what you think, because I was so pleased with how the first part came out, and I'm not sure if this one put the feels across just right
word count: 3k
warnings: angst, angst, oh and did I mention angst?, death of a character, mentions of blood, some cussing, and I guess a little fluff
𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 | 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐 | 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑
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I also recommend listening to 'the same' by mehro when reading this. It's so beautiful, and I listened to it while writing this, too.
The air was drowning in dust and smoke. Rubble of former buildings was surrounding the site and unfolding for the helicopters that were reporting the incident. There was screaming and alarms, motor noises, and explosions. Everything was chaos. 
Bucky had about 300 feet of broken cement beneath him, held up by god knows what, just waiting for the next blow to finally rip it apart.
“Take my hand!” He screamed as he reached over the edge of the building, his foot anchoring him to the roof. He was scared - deeply and utterly frightened seeing the person he loved hanging on by a thread.
“I can’t!” Y/N’s voice was broken and disrupted by heavy breathing. Her fingers probably lost feeling after the amount of time they had held onto the metal ledge, where sharp edges tore through her skin. “I can’t reach you, Bucky!” Her eyes glazed over with tears, but there was a determination within them, barely flushed by the salty water.
Bucky looked around frantically. “Hold on just a little longer!” The sound of blood rushing in his ears trumped the sounds of distant ambulances and helicopters and made everything seem like white noise. He had only one focus: Save Y/N. 
"Come on, Bucky. Think," he muttered to himself, angry and frustrated at the same time. He felt so scattered, as though he had no control of his thoughts, spilling worst-case scenarios over him from a big bucket of worry. He couldn't have that now. Looking around, he tried to silence his mind by occupying it with solutions - or the attempt to form them.
There was another building about 20 feet beneath him, if he could get down there, chances were high he could break Y/N’s fall - if she could hold on for that long. 
Unfortunately, there was no easy way down to the next building, and Bucky didn’t have time to look for something to help him ascend. So, he peeked over the edge. This was a bad idea. A very stupid, bad idea, but he didn't care about that. It was all he had come up with under the pressure he found himself under.
Watching the depth beneath him and ignoring the mental image of him smacking the floor with his head, Bucky mumbled a last 'fuck it' under his breath.
He took a couple steps backward, shot a look at the sky to take a deep breath, and then he ran. Once he had reached the end of the roof, he jumped forward, leaping to the next roof and falling for the remaining distance down. He rolled over his metal arm after he reached the floor, easing the pain from the impact. When he stood again, he saw Y/N barely hanging onto the metal ledge that reached over him now. 
One of her hands slipped as the building she was attached to began to stagger. A high-pitched scream escaped her mouth when she looked down at the 20 feet separating her from steady ground. She tried to get her hand back up, but the moving ledge made it difficult.
“Y/N, I’m right here!” Bucky screamed over the noises that had somehow gotten louder. “Just let go!”
“No!” Her head shook violently. She was scared, too. But Bucky knew that it wouldn’t affect her fighting for her life. She was strong and enduring. He just needed to remind her of that.
“You can do it! I know you can!”
Her eyes were pleading and Bucky could clearly see that she was hoping for another solution to present itself. But there was no other possibility. Y/N slipped further down the ledge as the building tumbled again. It was now or never.
Bucky opened his arms - held them away from him to be able to catch her. How he would really break her fall? - he didn’t know. But one thing was for sure: he would do anything to help her survive this. The serum in his veins had to be good for something. He’d rather break all his bones than see her have to deal with any type of pain - use his stupid powers for something good.
A final explosion ripped through the skyscraper with an ear-shattering ‘peng’, and just as it began to fall, Y/N let go. She fell along with the rubble. But other than the cement chunks, which eventually hit the ground and shattered hundreds of feet beneath Bucky, Y/N fell into a safe embrace. The force of her momentum was strong, and the Super Soldier struggled to protect her from scratches as they rolled across the roof until they came to a standstill. Bucky had cradled her body with his, legs and arms wrapped around her like a life west, her head securely tugged in his chest.
His heartbeat was pounding through his veins ferociously. He could feel it pulsing in his neck, toes, and fingers. It took a couple breaths to subside and finally, after he felt Y/N moving in his grasp, a wave of relief washed over Bucky.
“You did it.” He stammered as he wiped the dust from her forehead. Not that he had doubted her for a second.
“I’m so glad you’re alive.” His statement was followed by a warm kiss on Y/N’s temple before he unwrapped his body from hers. Watching as the tower tumbled to the ground with dust clouds climbing to the sky, Bucky squeezed her hand with his flesh one. 
Y/N’s breathing was rapid but steady, the shock of the situation etched onto her face as she watched the chaos she had escaped from. As Bucky squeezed her hand again, her breathing began to slow.
“Thank you.” Y/N averted her gaze from the ruins beneath them to the brunette beside her. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
A smile painted her features when she got up and pulled him up with the hand still latched in his.
Bucky nodded in acknowledgment. He would have done everything and so much more to help her. And Y/N knew that, too. That’s why he didn’t feel the need to reply. He looked at her for another second, appreciating her lively eyes and warm smile. He could stay like this forever, holding her hand and catching her mesmerizing gaze with his eyes. But sadly, that had to wait until later, when they were safe and sound at the compound again. So Bucky turned around with reluctance, retracting his hand from her heated fingers to search for a way down.
He explored the roof for anything. A fire escape, a door - hell, even a window one story below would have done - but there was nothing. It was a dead end. The sirens surrounding them echoed in his skull, adding to the quickly built frustration of this situation and growing an unbearable headache.
“Fuck!” Bucky’s hands buried in his hair as he paced to another possible exit.
They had made it so far. And now? They let the lack of a ladder stop them. This was ridiculous. There were still people who needed saving, as well as idiots who needed to get their asses kicked. Bucky made another round to check for anything he had missed. He would certainly not be defeated by this inconvenience.
His vibranium hand was pulling on the door of an AC unit until his quest was interrupted by a strained voice.
“Bucky, I-” Y/N started, but her sentence was interrupted as she bent over, pushing her hand under her ribcage.
His instincts were on high alert again, flashing like a big bright 'DANGER' sign. She was in pain, though her expression fought to remain stoic. 
Bucky jumped at the sight before him, heading in Y/N’s direction - his prior plan seemingly forgotten. Everything was fine, right? She had made it. She did not fall to her death, he had saved her... right?
He searched her eyes for answers, desperate and hopeful to see her smile. But when Y/N looked up at him, Bucky’s blood ran cold. He had seen that look before. And it meant nothing good. 
Her eyes were wide open, her lips pressed together as her jaw wired shut. Darkness spread over her features, pained and unforgiving. There was nothing but utter fear within her usually bright orbs. It took up the color of her irises like a shadow, turning everything stone cold.
“What? What’s the matter?” Bucky’s movements were hectic as he reached for her shoulders, eyes roaming her entire body to figure out what was going on.
Y/N pressed her eyes shut with a grunt. Her knees gave out, and before Bucky knew it, she was falling back to the ground. He leaped forward, desperate to catch her, but just ended up on the floor next to her. He sat up quickly, eyes wide in horror at the body before him. What the hell happened?!
Then, Y/N’s hand moved slightly and that’s when he saw it: crimson red staining her suit in one decently sized blotch, growing bigger by the second.
Shit. Shitshitshit!
How did he not notice? How could he have been so careless? Had she been shot? Impaled? Bucky didn’t know. All he saw was red hot blood seeping from her torso. And judging by the look on her face, the adrenaline that had rushed through Y/N’s body just moments prior steadily subsided. This was bad - really fucking bad.
“Y/N, doll, you’re going to be fine, okay?” Panic surged up his spine. He cradled her head in his lap as his metal hand rushed to press on the open wound on her abdomen, drawing a pained hiss from her lips. “I’m so sorry. I’m- Nothing bad’s gonna happen, I promise.” He was trying to convince himself rather than console her at this point. He didn’t know what to do. He always knew what to do in battle, but right now, his mind was swept off rationale as it got occupied by fear.
“Bucky-“ He pushed some hair from her forehead as he looked down. “I will get you to an ambulance. It will be okay, I promise.”
"No, Bucky-“ But his panicked babbling made him unaware of the weak voice coming from her lips.
His head was racing with ways to get her down to the ground. How to move her without excruciating pain, and how to do it quickly before she had lost too much blood. Take the stairs? No, there were no stairs. Wait for a helicopter? Too risky - there was no time. “We could-“
“Bucky.” Y/N’s voice was stern and seemed as though she had put every last bit of strength into his name. His gaze drew back to her face at that - his eyes distressed and helpless. Y/N’s hand found his jaw, stroking it softly and gaining the last of his attention again. 
“It’s okay,” she whispered. And there was a certain peace in her features that made goosebumps travel up Bucky’s spine.
“But, but you’re bleeding. You-“ A sob broke through his speech. Something was off, he didn’t know what it was but deep down he felt, it was bad. It made itself known through a horrible feeling that squeezed his insides harshly and painfully.
Y/N smiled. “It doesn’t hurt,” was all she said as her eyes conveyed an uneasy calmness.
“What?” He didn’t know why he asked that dumb question. But in hopes of denying what he thought her words meant, it had slipped his mouth. This couldn’t mean anything good at all. She was hosting a hole the size of a quarter in her body and claimed to feel okay - she clearly wasn’t.
“It’s okay,” she soothed again, her thumb still drawing weak circles on his skin. And even though her hand was warm on his skin, a fast wave of goosebumps spread down his body. It was dread. Burning hot and heart-wrenching fear that settled deep within him.
“No,” Bucky whispered, tears streaming down his face, “we will get you down here, and then we will be back in the compound. Sitting on the roof like last time. Remember?”
This was not the end. He couldn’t accept that. They had defeated death so many times before - it would work this time as well. It had to. There was so much he wanted to experience with Y/N - so many moments in the future he had dreamed of once this was all over. This was not how it was supposed to end. Not here, not now.
But Y/N shook her head weakly, her eyelids looked like they were heavy with sleep.
“No, please,” Bucky’s voice broke as his hand cradled her head tighter to his body, “please don’t leave me.” I don’t know what I’ll do without you, he added in thought - pained and already devastated by the knowledge of what was to come. There was no way he would survive in this world alone - not after he had gotten to experience how life could be… with her.
“I’ll be with you,” Y/N whispered. It was barely audible and everything seemed to happen in slow motion. “Right here,” her hand lowered to his chest, resting on his heartbeat, “remember? It’s the best place I could be, too.” Y/N smiled weakly, her eyes droopy and gray before her breathing began to grow heavy.
“No, no!” His second hand came up to her face, staining her cheek with deep-red blood as he brushed over a single tear falling from the corner of her eye.
“I love you.” Her mouth barely moved, but there was definitely a somewhat representation of a smile in her statement.
Bucky pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you, too. I love you. I love you. I love you,” he muttered like a mantra.
And then her hand fell from his chest. Bucky tried to catch it in time to press it back on his skin, hoping his rapid heartbeat would revive it again, but it was too late. His hand met his chest as his eyes fell on the lifeless wrist beneath him. He clenched his fist in his shirt.
Pain. The most unbearable pain he had ever felt in his entire life. Nothing compared to the things Hydra put him through. This, somehow, felt more real to him. It started out as a mental spark and then transformed into real physical misery. His heart felt squeezed, and it sent sharp shockwaves to the parts of his body that were still touching her, holding her, keeping her safe in vain.
A sudden shiver overcame him as he was slowly pulled from reality. This was all he had now. A part of her soul within him. And he knew exactly where it had settled. Because warmth mixed with the aching in his heart and somehow soothed the rest of his body - strengthening him when he felt like falling apart.
A static overtook his ears then, erasing every other noise in his surroundings. And for the first time, Bucky realized how lonely it was up on the rooftop - when all of the environment was shut down, leaving a tunnel vision leading towards the horizon to unfold before him.
The view was nice - beautiful, even. Y/N would have loved it, Bucky thought as he watched the sun go down beneath the compound. He did that a lot, now. Thinking of the things Y/N would have enjoyed if she were still here. But she wasn’t. And it still broke his heart, it would probably never stop doing that.
“How are you holding up, pal?” Steve’s hand laid on Bucky’s shoulder, and Bucky concentrated on its weight to stay grounded. 
“I should have saved her,” he whispered, “I promised her that nothing bad was gonna happen.” And it lay guilty on his chest. He had lied to her. He should have noticed her wound before she even fell off the edge. He should have prevented it, maybe even taken the hit instead of her. But he didn’t. Hell, he couldn’t even remember when it happened that day.
“Hey, everything was chaotic that day. None of us would have noticed.”
This conversation had taken place over and over again during the past few weeks. And even though Bucky was pretty sure that everyone had already grown tired of his moping, Steve didn't let it show at all. He was there, by his side. And he made sure to tell him that that would never stop. Bucky tried to hold onto that promise, but he knew, promises could get broken and fate could be vicious with the people it took from him.
Bucky’s head fell back as he closed his eyes with his arms crossed. He took a deep breath and when he opened them again, they landed in the orange sky above him. He had heard that sentence too many times now. None of us would have noticed. This Super Soldier serum must have been good for something. All his senses were heightened, and yet, it didn’t help him at all. Y/N was gone - at least physically. Bucky grabbed his chest at that thought, feeling for his steady heartbeat, reminding him of the little consolation he carried with him every day.
Steve sat beside him on the roof and watched as Bucky slung his other arm around his knees, looking ahead into the distance.
“You know what they say,” the brunette started low, not averting his gaze from the horizon, “When you die, a piece of your soul stays with the person you spent your last moment with.” His voice was shaky as he recited Y/N’s words.
Steve was silent for a moment, directing his gaze to the setting sun as well.
“You think that’s true?” He asked after a while, curiosity evident in his tone.
And finally, after weeks of grief and sadness, Bucky smiled, as he realized what the answer was. His hand pressed deeper into his chest, rubbing on his shirt slowly. It was warm and it tingled.
“I know it’s true.”
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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 3 years ago
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Various insecurities the batkids have, let's go!
Dick feels like he has to be the backbone keeping the family together, the mediator, the peacekeeper. It doesn't matter how he feels or what he wants, he has to be the go-between and make sure everyone is happy or else the family will fall apart. If he gets upset, if he makes the wrong decision, if he isn't perfect and kind and endlessly empathetic, he'll lose everyone and everything he loves.
Babs hates the fact that she had to be horrifically attacked and maimed to come into her own, and can't help but feel that her growth is tied to suffering. She feels selfish for wanting to have use of her legs back because she knows that disability isn't a curse, but she doesn’t see it as something to take pride in, and feels guilty for resenting the fact that she's a wheelchair user. She knows she has it so much easier than most people in her situation, that she's lucky to have survived and that her limited mobility doesn't define her, that her work as Oracle is infinitely better for Gotham, but she hates that she couldn't have chosen it for herself (pulled from personal experience).
Jason is terrified that Bruce only loves the idea of him, and that one day his dad will wake up and realize that his son was never the person he imagined him to be. He thinks that Bruce’s guilt towards letting Jason die led him to idolize the image of Jason in his head, and that eventually reality will catch up to him and he'll realize that the boy he wanted never existed in the first place. He's scared that wishful thinking is the only thing keeping his father from disowning him.
Two of Tim's brothers have seriously tried to murder him in the past, and he's the only common denominator. He feels like he's always going to be the outsider, the person who Bruce never asked for, and that he's just going to end up killed by someone he wanted to fill the void of family with. He did everything to earn his place in the Batfam and it doesn't matter, because Jason was right, he was just a placeholder, and no one needs him anymore.
Cass is afraid that she'll never be enough, that no matter how hard she tries she'll always be a broken weapon, a tool that can't do the one job it was made for but at the same time can't do anything good either. She can't be good enough, can't be perfect no matter how hard she tries, can't be the good soldier that Batman needs by his side. Her abilities are the only thing she has going for her, and if those fail, if what she's dedicated her whole life to isn't enough, then she's not enough, she's a failure, and it's her fault if everything breaks.
Steph can't help but be afraid of losing everything, so she tries to isolate herself so it doesn't hurt as much. She's terrified of having the people she loves eventually leaving her, so she forces at each crack and seam, because if she loses them this time then it means she's lost them through her own choices, and she didn't get overly attached before it was ripped away. She's terrified of getting close, because if life has taught her anything, it's that the closer people are, the more they can hurt you.
Damian can't help but feel like he's loved out of obligation, that all his siblings were chosen and he's just there because he and Bruce share blood. He has to be perfect, had to earn his place at the table, has to prove that it's not just favoritism that got him this far but skill and hard work, that he deserves it as much as any of his siblings. If he can just be the best, can show how much he deserves it, then they won't get rid of him the minute Bruce turns his back.
Duke knows that he's the odd one out, the one meta in a family of badass normals, that he had to leave his friends behind to join the batfam. He wants to prove that he's one of them, that his power isn't the only reason he was chosen, but he can't help but feel isolated- shoved into the day shift away from the others, the one kid who wasn't an official Robin (or Batgirl), and his old friends won't talk to him anymore. He gave up everything, and for what?
Tl;dr, all of them have imposter syndrome in different variations and they all need therapy
Just land a hit on the solar plexus why dontcha
And yes, they all need all the therapy
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lilakeels · 3 years ago
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Fools and Gold (Huggy Wuggy x GN!Reader)
Good evening/morning to all of you! I apologize for not being on Tumblr for a while, school and my own personal life has been getting in the way of my writing! Of course, I will try to never have such a long hiatus ever again and I hope you all will forgive me.
Content Warnings: Yandereish Behavior, Blood, (Pre Mentioned) Panic Attacks, H U G S, Claustrophobia(?), Broken Bones, Gore, Cursing, Y/N dies lmao.
My Brain: Alright you're gonna write something with your favorite comfort character, lets make something cute and cuddly since you like him so much.
Me:
My Brain: What the Fuck are you doing
Screaming. That's the only you've been able to hear for who knows how long. A small shiver wracked through your body. One leg crushed under one of the large wooden crates, who knows what was in these fuckers, whatever was in them however had practically cut off all circulation to your leg. Your cramped position didn't help either, slouched over, head thrown back, and both legs feeling numb. However, being trapped between at least four boxes did give you an advantage, the image of stealth. The cons, however, was that you couldn't feel anything at this point, sure you can the warm crimson fluid spreading down your face and legs, yes you could feel the box that laid over your right leg. You couldn't however feel the pain that should be raking across your skin, a low throb had taken its place. The blood leaking from your own body was slowly becoming its own comfort, it was just so warm.
Tears slowly started to dribble down your bloodied cheeks, this all felt so wrong! You shouldn't have been here in the first place! You should be enjoying your day with your friends, getting pizza, I don't know anything but this! Murderous "toys," one of your best friends getting ripped apart right in front of you, you let out a small whimper at the thought, shakingly raising your hand to trace your face instinctively. You shouldn't be thinking about this right now, you just need to focus on not dying. Yeah, that seemed like a good idea. Maybe after this, you can go see your family again. It feels like you haven't talked to your mom in ages, but maybe that was for the best. Let us think about your dad instead shall we?
Unaware of the upcoming danger, you continued to think of your dad wondering how he was doing and such. However something had made you pause, something was wrong. The hairs on the back of your neck had raised along with your anxiety. What was wrong? Your inward questions were soon realized almost instantly. It wasn't dead quiet anymore, the faint sound of something slinking carelessly around your prison.
You froze almost instantly the blood that was still left in your body running cold. No! You instinctively scooted as far back into your small hiding space. They were going to find you! They were going to kill you! Oh god! Oh god! Your breath only quickened as the sound was quickly gone, you knew better, whatever the fuck was beyond these crates knew you were here. They were toying with you, mocking you from beyond these wooden boxes.
Your eyes had widened as you felt a little shake to the crate directly in front of you. Instinctively scooting further back almost into a fetus position, the pain was returning you could feel the pain coursing through your leg (which was still trapped) and torso. Everything fucking hurt. You had to quickly choke back a sob, tears strolling down your face. Maybe if you just stayed quiet whatever was out there would become disinterested and leave you alone. You knew that was wishful thinking, your death was inevitable at this point. You just wished you had more time.
A small squeak escaped your mouth as the large crate in front of you was yanked effortlessly away a low screech echoed as it skidded across the floor. Although your observation was soon cut short as the crate above it had collapsed on top of you. A scream ripped from your throat as the crate flung your body forward and your leg was once again bent at an unnatural angle. Tears dripped down your face and landed on the cold tiled floor. Your thoughts were racing, you didn't want to die! Your face was suddenly slammed into the floor causing you to scream instinctively cause, holy shit it fucking hurt.
You couldn't revel in your pain for much longer before you could feel the crate get practically shoved off of you, a loud shrill noise echoing from behind you, it almost sounded excited. Small sobs wracked your body as you were pushed onto your back to go face to face with your perpetrator only to be horrified with what you saw, a Huggy Wuggy doll, if you could even call it a doll. The blue-furred thing was way larger than it's smaller and much cuter counterpart, but what unnerved you the most was the thin and very sharp teeth layered throughout its open jaw.
A small gasp left your mouth and you slammed your hand into its face, trying to get those dead-ass eyes away from you! It let out a small squeak of surprise however it pushed its face closer causing silivia to drip onto your cheek. Panic once again began to set in, "Please-" The creature let out another excited squeal before grabbing your face. You froze almost instantly, the familiar scent of copper flooding your senses, the scent of blood.
Shivers and shakes increased as the dark crimson liquid was smeared across your face as it removed its paws off your face. What the fuck. It didn't stop there either, oh no, it just got worse. The thing let out another excited squeal before wrapping its squiggly arms around your body and shoving you basically into its chest in a makeshift hug, and boy did your body not like that. Your fight or flight response was practically screaming at you to get away, at least do something. However, it was too late as you already felt the needle-thin teeth sinking into your flesh. Goodbye I guess...
(Yeah no that ending was so rushed lmao)
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the-broken-truth · 3 years ago
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Broken-Style Remix: Yandere Mother Talia Al Ghul
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Broken: When it comes to Yandere Mothers, Talia Al Ghul is one of my favorites; considering how obsessed she is with her baby daddy. Recently, I came into a Yandere Talia Al Ghul Image made by @anxiousnerdwritings & with their permission, I have been allowed to make this Broken-Style Remix! Now, let the words weave together!!!
@anxiousnerdwritings's version: LINK
SUBTITLE: THE ONE YOU THREW AWAY
Talia Al Ghul wanted things thing and would do anything to obtain those things - Complete Control & Undeniable Power. She was the daughter of Ra's Al Ghul - The Head Demon of the League of Assassin & Immortal Mad-Man, well...not anymore; now Talia was on the Throne as Head of the League of Assassins, but there was a time before everything went to hell. Talia always wanted to have power but she also wanted someone to share it with - that came in the form of the Protector of Gotham - The Masked Savior, Batman. Talia was entranced by his power and skill, he would have been a perfect partner to rule with if he wasn't so hesitant to kill but she could sculpt him to fit her mold one way or another but first she needed to get him on her side. Her father thought of him as the perfect heir but there was no way the protector would join him, so Talia planned and that plan was to give herself and Bruce an heir - the perfect combination of the two of them. However, a wrench was thrown into that plan when inside of one - there were two.
A Son & A Daughter.
A Son that mirrored his father in young as he would in adulthood, with the exception of the emerald eyes that Talia possessed - the eyes of an Al Ghul. He was given the name Damian.
Her daughter was another story: she grew to look just as Talia did in her youth but she had her father's calm blue eyes - the eyes of a protector. The eyes of a Wayne. The eyes of a savior, not a killer - she was flawed with those eyes. She was named Bellatrix - just as her father, she would be expected to be a great warrior.
When it was time to hone their skills, it was clear that they were the perfect combination of the Al Ghul and Wayne Genes - Damian more. He was the perfect killer, merciless and quick; he wouldn't give his enemies time to speak. No, enemies were too kind of a word to describe them - they were his prey while he was the hunter. He didn't care how many he had to cut down; he would never tire until all of them were dead at his feet.
Bellatrix - on the other hand - was a different story. It was clear she had the skills, it was obvious that she had the power, but the main issue was that she wouldn't finish the job; she lacked the most important trait of the Al Ghul Bloodline - she refused to kill. Talia feared this - she was just like her father and she didn't want weakness into the pain; especially since she was the eldest of the two. She either had to fix the problem or completely remove it.
And she would much prefer the latter.
Ra's loved his grandchildren all the same - he didn't care of Bellatrix didn't kill, he was pleased enough that she was able to complete impossible tasks alone and come back unscabbed. He would praise her and he would train with her in his free time - the two of them were fond of meditation to keep themselves centered.
"Remember Granddaughter: If you are completely centered then there is nothing you can't overcome. Knowing your center is knowing your true power." - That is what Ra's would tell her during those times.
As time passed on, Talia noticed that Bellatrix gained in power and knowledge every day while her son showed just how much of an Al Ghul he was every time he went on a mission, but that didn't matter to Talia - that girl...that mistake...was a single dot in the way of her son's rightful place as Head of The League & she had to something about it.
And she did.
One night - Talia told Bellatrix to accompany her to the desert for recon and the girl agreed, thinking it was going to be a mother-daughter experience. The two of them sourced their bounds but found nothing, Bellatrix looked around the dunes to see if there was something hiding in the desert's darkness until her body made her move and she dodged just in the next of time as a blade came in close contact with her throat. She reached for her sword, only for her hand to be grabbed, and turned it to her back. She was then grabbed from other directions before being kicked in the back of her knees and came to her knees in the sand. She struggled and looked at the cloaked figures that held her until she looked at her mother.
"Mother! Help!" She begged for her mother.
"Why would I do that," Talia walked over to her bound daughter as one of the assassins handed her a sword, "When it took me so long to get you here?" Talia looked into her daughter's eyes with emptiness.
"You...You planned this? Mother, why would you do this?" Bellatrix asked.
"This is something I should have done from the start, after all - My Beloved needs an heir, not a burden. You are a stain on the Al Ghul Name, an Al Ghul that refuses to kill is not an Al Ghul; hell, you aren't even an assassin. You're a defect, a flaw, a wrench in my plan to have my beloved rule behind me as King and Queen of the League of Assassins."
Bellatrix's eyes widened at the sight of her mother raising her sword.
"And all defects must be eliminated." Talia growled as her arm thrust forward - Bellatrix's eyes widened and her jaw locked to keep herself from screaming as the blade ripped through her chest and came out on the other side.
Talia lifted her foot - the other assassins released the girl - and kicked her to the dirt and watched her groan in pain before going limp in the cold desert night.
"Dispose of the body. I have to deliver the news that the heir has been killed and watch my one true child take his rightful place." Talia didn't give her daughter's body a second glance as she turned and walked away to her jet that was waiting for her.
She should have checked her vitals.
[Timeskip - Years Later]
Years had gone by but Talia still thinks back to the night she stuck her sword through her daughter's body and left her for dead; she was so certain that was what she wanted by there was something missing and for once in her life, it had nothing to do with her Beloved Bat. She tried to put those thoughts aside for she was on a mission.
After the death of her father, she found some research on a mind-control agent that she could use to have the one she wanted most but the League was too thin and most were doing other tasks while some were rebuilding the complex, thus the Head of the Demon Clan had to deal with it on her own, which she was fine with.
However, something felt different - she wasn't sure what it was...but she knew something was going to happen tonight.
Talia did what she had to do and secured to the agent before making her way back to the roof - only to have two people walking for her.
One was a tall man with a red helmet, a brown leather jacket, a gray Bat-Armor with a Red Bat Insignia on the chest; Talia could see the pistols and ammo belts around his waist.
The second was a feminine figure: She was around the same height as Damian, wearing Bat-Armor that looked a lot like a Ninja's outfit with a sword on her back and a dark blue Bat Insignia on her chest. Her hair was long and black but tied in a ponytail, except some hair that freely fell in her face and covered some of the ribbon eye mask around her eyes.
"I guess my beloved couldn't make it to see me?" Talia asked as she placed the agent in her pocket.
"We were the closest in the area so he sent us to what it was about - didn't think we'd find his batshit crazy baby-momma here." The Red Hood said as he folded his arms.
"Too bad, he might have convinced me to surrender but I don't have an issue with breaking children who stand in my way." Talia said.
"You never had an issue with killing them, why would you have an issue with breaking them?" The female said.
"What did you say?" Talia said as she looked at the female figure.
"You don't remember the child you killed? The blood of the Al Ghul you spilled? The child you detested because she wouldn't kill so you decided to kill her instead?" The female stepped forward and reached for her eye mask, "You don't remember my voice...Mother?" She pulled it off and Talia's eyes widened when they locked with the blue eyes of her late daughter - the one that was supposed to die. The stain in her plan.
"You lived? After all of these years, you dare come to face me again?" Talia narrowed her eyes.
"Rather cold to say to your kid who came back from the dead, Lady." He looked at Bellatrix, "Bat-Fang, you wanna deal with her while I wait on the old man?" He asked.
"You read my mind." Bellatrix stepped forward and pulled her sword out, "Arm yourself."
"I guess some stains are harder to wash out." Talia said as she pulled her sword out, "I'll make sure you don't come back."
Emerald and Sapphire locked with each other before the thunderclap of the coming storm sent them both into attack mode. Their blades clashed against each other as the two women danced in a deadly dance, Talia was focused but at the same time confused - how was Bellatrix this focused when the anger in her eyes was so strong? Talia tried harder and used more power but that was the opening Bellatrix needed.
Talia watched as the girl grabbed the sword with her left hand before delivering a swift but devastating kick to her gut, sending her skipping like a stone against the roof as she released the grip of her sword. Talia picked herself off the ground and glared at her eldest as the girl place her own sword back in its sheath and shatter Talia's into two halves, letting the shards and sword halves fall to her feet before she charged at her mother. Talia's guard went up as the two of them locked in a brawl.
'What is going on here? She was never this fast or ruthless! What is...'
Her thoughts were cut off as Bellatrix grabbed her foot and began to swing her until Bellatrix let her go and got stuck in a window. Talia opened her eyes from the impact just in time to see the glare on her daughter's face as she came soaring and her fist connected with Talia's face, sending them both into the abandoned building. Talia groaned from the pain but more pain was added when she felt her daughter grab her by her hair and pull her to her feet.
"What do you have to say now, Talia? Am I still defective?" Bellatrix asked before she punched the Assassin Leader in the face, making her crash into a crumbling wall.
"Am I still a flaw?" Bellatrix asked as she spartan-kicked Talia through the wall and into the living room, making the woman fall on her back.
"Am I still the wrench in your perfect plan? Am I?!" Bellatrix barked as she grabbed her mother by the next and punched her in the face, making her back hit a window. Talia's version was blurry from the pain but when it came together - her eyes widened at the murderous gaze in her eyes.
"Am I still not an Al Ghul?" Bellatrix punched her in the face again - sending the woman crashing through the window again but this time, she felt on a lower roof of a building just as another thunderclap echoed through the sky and the rain began to fall. Talia grunted at the pain but opened her eyes to watch her daughter jump out the window and walk over to her; glaring down at her with blue eyes.
"How... How did you survive?" She asked.
"You should have checked my vitals before you left me to die; once you were gone, I took care of the assassins that you had hold me. I'm not proud I shed their blood but I knew if I didn't, they were going to make sure I was dead." Bellatrix answered.
"You survived... You killed... And now, you have me helpless." Talia smiled at her, "I'm so proud of you, My Baby Girl." She cooed.
"What?" Bellatrix glared with confusion.
"You are everything I want in a perfect heir: You survived my trap, you killed those who held you captive, and you reduced me - the Leader of the League of Assassins - to this pitiful state. My darling, you are perfect." Talia smiled at her daughter.
"I don't know what you are thinking but I'm nothing like you want me to be and I never will be." Bellatrix reached down and took the mind-control agent from Talia before turning and walking away.
"You can walk away now, My Sweet Child, but know that I am coming for you. I will bring you home and you will be what you were born to me - The Perfect Al Ghul Heir. Run while you can, my dear, Mother is coming for you." Talia laughed at Bellatrix as the girl jumped off the small roof, leaving the woman alone.
Talia looked up at the rain in the sky and smiled before picking herself off the ground, touching the side of her lip, and looked at the blood - her blood - that her daughter spilled.
'It was a mistake to let you go but now that you are back, I shall have you once more and we shall be a family. You can't escape your blood, Bellatrix; you're an Al Ghul...and you belong to me.'
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screechingnebula · 2 years ago
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If Mikey isn't the one who hurts Sanzu, then why Mikey had blood on his hands and why Baji was trying to hold him back? No mention his "smile Haru" who was more or less a threat. Mikey didn't looked like someone who would have tried to help. I think that it's really Mikey but that the toy plane was not the reason. Mikey goes always TOO far when his dark impulses are here and doesn't care about the target (hurting Sanzu, killing Kazutora in a timeline, killing South, almost killing Takemichi too)
Okay so I’m convinced now that it really was Mikey because otherwise things won’t make sense but I’ll still list the reasons why I doubted it in the first place. But don’t take this seriously
I’m going to make another post on Haru and what I think exactly happened that day.
Trust me “Smile Haru” was actually Mikey trying to help not threaten. 
Senju is narrating the chapter 241 so everything is from her POV. She is painting the scenarios for us so whatever we see is what she assumes happened based on what she saw or heard that day
Her POV is either incomplete or distorted.
TW: Blood, images from chapter 241 and 249 (scar incident).
I only have 3 points to make.
1) Obvious point. Haru doesn't seem to blame Mikey at all. Plus, shouldn't Baji be scared of Mikey just like Senju? Why would he stay around him? Why would he let Draken get close?
2)
As I said the incident is entirely from Senju's POV. She is narrating and showing us what (she thinks) happened based on what she saw or heard that day. Let me go through what happened in the chapter after Mikey found the broken plane.
Senju is reading a manga inside and suddenly hears Baji yell at someone to stop.
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Baji doesn’t take a name. He simply yells 「おい!!やめろよ!!」 (Oi!! Yamero yo!!) “Hey!! Stop!!”. No name. He could be yelling at Mikey or Haru or both. She only heard Baji yell and doesn’t see him but we see the panel of Baji pulling Mikey back.
This means she made this up based on what she heard, which was Baji yelling at someone to stop and since according to her Mikey was hurting Haru, it has to be Mikey being yelled at by Baji to stop. And, since Baji wanted to stop Mikey, he should be pulling Mikey back. So we get the image of Baji pulling Mikey back and yelling at him to stop.
But she didn’t see this happen. Maybe Baji was not yelling at Mikey. Maybe he never tried to pull Mikey back instead got in between them and pushed Mikey away. Maybe he was on the ground all this time. We just don’t know. This is why we don't see Mikey and Haru because she has no idea what exactly they were doing because they didn’t make any sound. She neither saw nor heard them. Did Mikey really hurt Haru? How exactly did he do that? Did Haru let it happen? Did he resist? She doesn't know at all so we don't see it happen.
3)
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When she reaches outside she finds Baji, Haru, and Mikey. In her own words, “Haruchiyo with his mouth ripped open, Baji on the ground, and Mikey with his hand soaked in blood”. That’s exactly what we see in the panel because she is narrating so we see what she thinks was there.
We see blood on Haru because obviously he will have blood on him, he got his mouth ripped and we see Mikey with blood on his hand because obviously he will have blood on his hands, he ripped Haru’ s mouth. The victim and the criminal have the proof of crime on them. Nothing else is important. 
But there should be blood on the ground as well. This is something that has bothered me since the first time I read the chapter. Haru’ s head is down, there should be blood dripping on the ground but it's not there. Wakui pays attention to detail, it is weird for him to miss this. The one explanation is that it's not Wakui but Senju who missed the blood on the ground because it's not important. It won’t change anything for her. Haru and Mikey had blood on them that’s all that matters to figure out what happened (for her). Just how simply hearing Baji was enough to figure out (assume) that he tried to stop Mikey.
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BUT then we get this another POV which I think is Haruchiyo' s in chapter 249 during his fight with Senju. 
Senju's had a normal background with black margins which is used to show the past and flashbacks but this one has a grainy background with white margins. According to other such panels, it shows a simple recall of what the character saw at some point. I'm probably not using the correct term but it is supposed to be different and what it shows is always real and factual i.e. exactly what the character saw and not something made up.
Eg. In chapter 141 Takemichy recalls what Koko and Taiju said in chapters 132 and 133 respectively. Exactly the same panels. Another one, Mikey in chapter 135 is the panel from chapter 109. The images are exactly the same. Words in the speech bubble change but they are just from a different speech bubble from the same scene. BUT all the panels are something that Takemichy saw and experienced himself. He was always present there when the characters were doing what they are doing in the panel. 
Now yes this doesn’t confirm that it is from Haru’ s POV coz even though Senju’s POV was incomplete, she was still present in that moment BUT 
The perspective is different from the one we saw in 241 which was Senju's perspective so it probably is from someone else which is Haru. Senju's was from Mikey's side, this is from Mikey's back.
There's a slight difference between what we see as well. Let's compare the 2 panels.
Chapter 241 Senju’s POV
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Chapter 249 Haru’ s POV
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Senju is peeping from the door with a scared expression on both.
Baji is on the ground with his face hidden in both.
Haruchiyo is on his knees with his mouth ripped open with blood on his face and clothes in both. BUT in 249 there’s blood on the ground between his knees as it should have been for obvious reasons.
Mikey is standing there in the same pose I guess. His face is hidden this time. BUT I can’t see any blood on his hands. I zoomed in on the pic and enhanced it, but there are no black lines or patches on his hand. We can see all of their hands and fingers. According to 241, there's a lot of blood on his hands, not just few drops but in 249, nothing. (Yeah I know I’m most probably seeing it wrong but its still weird)
That’s all ig. As I said in the beginning it probably was Mikey coz otherwise his and Haru ’s future actions won’t make sense but all this is still in head. 
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kyugens · 2 years ago
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Being inside his brother's apartment and preparing dinner is as normal as breathing. It should feel as normal as breathing, he's done this for years, but it doesn't.
The reason he's here isn't like the many times before. His brother confided in him on his new relationship status several weeks ago. His reaction can't be labeled as anything other than angry and slightly volatile. Yeah yeah, he's trying to work on that...
Now he's trying to mend the distance he created, apologize without having to say it's an apology. Though he's prepared in case he'll have to say the words. He's beat down his pride in the last few days for the possibility.
"I can't take this anymore," he announces, breaking the mundane silence. He sets down his knife and stares down his brother. "So why Kakashi," he voices, "out all of people." Fuck it, he'll just be straight with it.
unprompted – always accepting!
Patience is a virtue – one Itachi does not possess and, quite frankly, has refused to work on for most of his life. The prospect of waiting for things to work themselves out is absurd to him, or even to let blatant disrespect slide? He's done it before, it sat heavily on his stomach, and his tongue bled with the sharp words he had to keep behind the teeth he couldn't bare. He hates it, and the world he grew up in hated it too – that's why they'd teach their children how to hone their skills from a young age. So they could shape the perfect moment to strike with their two hands. Waiting meant getting killed more times than not. This time, waiting meant the feeling of a dull knife ripping through his heart lasted longer, and the bitter taste in his mouth wouldn't ease no matter how much honey he added to his tea. He couldn't rush his brother, he couldn't rush this – his acceptance of his relationship with Kakashi. In fact, after so many years of watching Sasuke grow into his own person, he learned there was hardly anything he could push the younger Uchiha into doing. So for the last month, Itachi was forced to sit on this and wait. The image of Sasuke storming out of his apartment replayed on a loop in his mind, as did his own voice asking Kakashi to leave right after that. Now, though, he was at the kitchen table with a warm cup of tea in his hands, watching the tiny particles of herbs floating around in a beautiful and hypnotizing dance as he, once again, waited. The question caught him off guard, and dark-brown irises rose in search of Sasuke's face and any confirmation that he hadn't heard him wrong. “  Why, you ask...  ”  The realization that he never spared a moment to think about why or how he had feelings for his partner... It hit him like a train. He pondered, trying to think back to the moment he realized he loved Kakashi, but his head was empty, and it felt like thoughts were purposefully escaping his grasp. Itachi continued to look at Sasuke for a while longer. A thick silence hung over their heads before his eyes roamed the room until they stopped at the sink, where he found Kakashi's mug – a smile pulling his lips.  “  Would you believe me if I told you it snuck up on us?  ”  Us – because he was fairly certain Kakashi hadn't planned this either. Them – because he understood Kakashi's struggles with loss and resentment. Because Kakashi wasn't big enough to fill the holes in Itachi's soul, but when they were together, he didn't feel like he was missing anything. And he knew it was the same for Kakashi. “  Kakashi... He sees me for what I am. No matter how hard I try to bury my ugliest parts, to paint them with a pretty color, he recognizes brokenness, and he's not put off by it. He accepts it, but furthermore, he helps me embrace my flaws wholeheartedly as well.  ”  He knew this could be a difficult concept for Sasuke to understand. Itachi had been his role model for most of their lives, after all, but it wasn't blind bias anymore, he hoped.  “  We are very similar people, Sasuke, and yet... We couldn't be more different. Every day I learn something new about him, and while discovering who that man is, I also learn more and more about myself. Things I never thought I could be or feel.  ” With a sigh and a faint feeling of warmth spreading across his face, Itachi looks at Sasuke again. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Sasuke – nothing.  “  If this is going to be a problem between us, Sasuke... I will stop seeing him. I will. You are my brother, and you are my most precious thing. I don't need any of that at the expanse of having you in my life. All I ask is that you consider it carefully.  ”
@tempestflames
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