#anyways thanks for indulging me jana....

[covetyou]

B-I-N-G-O!

thank you @burntheedges - this has been so much fun and a great way to celebrate that man and this fandom that somehow exists because of him. now the glory is MINE. ALL MINE.

I'm very likely going to finish the rest of the fic reading/reblogging things this week, so if anyone has any Oberyn, Ezra, Pero, Max L, Javi G, Whiskey or Marcus P fic recs, hit me up bbs.

bingo fics below the cut for any curious folk:

bingo!

Dave York fic - when we go crashing down by @janaispunk - Jana is my go to for Dave fics, I just love the way she writes him. and this was no different. I loved the snapshot style, and the ending ached so damn good.

Marcus Moreno fic - the dinner by @frannyzooey - these were recommended somewhere by someone (I can't remember where, or who!) and I've had the masterlist open in my browser for a few days. SO GLAD I DOVE IN. and I'm even happier to know there's so many drabbles for me to indulge in with this pairing too.

3 Asks - to @noxturnalpascal (fmk), @sp00kymulderr (pls give me an Ezra rec, ily), and @tightjeansjavi (an Aries ask).

Frankie Morales fic - chapter eight of do me yourself by @undercoverpena - I am such a lover of Jo's Frankie's, and do me yourself Frankie is the sweetest of sweetums. the texts have me giggling and blushing. I wait for Tuesday evenings every week just to read more of these two.

P Character you've never read before - the dinner by @frannyzooey - I have never ever read Marcus Moreno before! who woulda thunk.

extras:

Dieter Bravo fic - blossoms we wear by @gasolinerainbowpuddles - this has been on my tbr for a few days. I loved the first part and was thrilled to see a second. I love this throuple so much, and puddles writes horny shit in a way that tickles my brain just right

New P Character (Lucien) - blossoms we wear by @gasolinerainbowpuddles - no, this isn't a mistake, and it totally counts, it's a threesome fic!

Max Philips fic - whiskers & fangs by @songsformonkeys - this was rec'd in a discord server and I've had it waiting for a few days. the first part was so delightful, I can't wait to get stuck into the second part to see where this ends. Max Philips is literally a cat. incredible.

Javi P fic - pump by @morallyinept - I was lured in with the promise of balls, and it DELIVERED. I love Jett so much anyway, and her description of the gym here threw me into that sweaty stinky place staring straight at Javi's junk and fantasising right along side reader.

[kyugens]

Being inside his brother's apartment and preparing dinner is as normal as breathing. It should feel as normal as breathing, he's done this for years, but it doesn't.

The reason he's here isn't like the many times before. His brother confided in him on his new relationship status several weeks ago. His reaction can't be labeled as anything other than angry and slightly volatile. Yeah yeah, he's trying to work on that...

Now he's trying to mend the distance he created, apologize without having to say it's an apology. Though he's prepared in case he'll have to say the words. He's beat down his pride in the last few days for the possibility.

"I can't take this anymore," he announces, breaking the mundane silence. He sets down his knife and stares down his brother. "So why Kakashi," he voices, "out all of people." Fuck it, he'll just be straight with it.

unprompted – always accepting!

Patience is a virtue – one Itachi does not possess and, quite frankly, has refused to work on for most of his life. The prospect of waiting for things to work themselves out is absurd to him, or even to let blatant disrespect slide? He's done it before, it sat heavily on his stomach, and his tongue bled with the sharp words he had to keep behind the teeth he couldn't bare. He hates it, and the world he grew up in hated it too – that's why they'd teach their children how to hone their skills from a young age. So they could shape the perfect moment to strike with their two hands. Waiting meant getting killed more times than not. This time, waiting meant the feeling of a dull knife ripping through his heart lasted longer, and the bitter taste in his mouth wouldn't ease no matter how much honey he added to his tea. He couldn't rush his brother, he couldn't rush this – his acceptance of his relationship with Kakashi. In fact, after so many years of watching Sasuke grow into his own person, he learned there was hardly anything he could push the younger Uchiha into doing. So for the last month, Itachi was forced to sit on this and wait. The image of Sasuke storming out of his apartment replayed on a loop in his mind, as did his own voice asking Kakashi to leave right after that. Now, though, he was at the kitchen table with a warm cup of tea in his hands, watching the tiny particles of herbs floating around in a beautiful and hypnotizing dance as he, once again, waited. The question caught him off guard, and dark-brown irises rose in search of Sasuke's face and any confirmation that he hadn't heard him wrong. “  Why, you ask...  ”  The realization that he never spared a moment to think about why or how he had feelings for his partner... It hit him like a train. He pondered, trying to think back to the moment he realized he loved Kakashi, but his head was empty, and it felt like thoughts were purposefully escaping his grasp. Itachi continued to look at Sasuke for a while longer. A thick silence hung over their heads before his eyes roamed the room until they stopped at the sink, where he found Kakashi's mug – a smile pulling his lips.  “  Would you believe me if I told you it snuck up on us?  ”  Us – because he was fairly certain Kakashi hadn't planned this either. Them – because he understood Kakashi's struggles with loss and resentment. Because Kakashi wasn't big enough to fill the holes in Itachi's soul, but when they were together, he didn't feel like he was missing anything. And he knew it was the same for Kakashi. “  Kakashi... He sees me for what I am. No matter how hard I try to bury my ugliest parts, to paint them with a pretty color, he recognizes brokenness, and he's not put off by it. He accepts it, but furthermore, he helps me embrace my flaws wholeheartedly as well.  ”  He knew this could be a difficult concept for Sasuke to understand. Itachi had been his role model for most of their lives, after all, but it wasn't blind bias anymore, he hoped.  “  We are very similar people, Sasuke, and yet... We couldn't be more different. Every day I learn something new about him, and while discovering who that man is, I also learn more and more about myself. Things I never thought I could be or feel.  ” With a sigh and a faint feeling of warmth spreading across his face, Itachi looks at Sasuke again. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Sasuke – nothing.  “  If this is going to be a problem between us, Sasuke... I will stop seeing him. I will. You are my brother, and you are my most precious thing. I don't need any of that at the expanse of having you in my life. All I ask is that you consider it carefully.  ”

@tempestflames

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 26th, Thursday 23:17

„I thought you’d be in bed already?“

Jens had just finished the dishes, ready to head to bed, after he spent hours trying to get all his notes for his french test ready next week. He wasn’t worried that he would fail. Perhaps a little worried.

His mother stood in the doorway to her room, when he reached the last step, causing him to watch her perplexed.

„Me too, but it looks like my side of the bed was taken before I had a chance.“

Curious Jens went up to her, sticking his head over her shoulder. Lotte was his mom’s bed, sleeping peacefuly despite the lamp on the night stand lighting the room.

They just stood there for a moment and watched the little girl. Til his mom took a step back, weak on her feet. He helped her get down and joined right after. Causing them both to sit side by side, propped up against the wall across the stairs. He had his legs pulled up, his arms hugging his knees as he stared straight ahead.

„Lucas is my boyfriend.“

It just bursted out of him, the first thing that had come to mind. He probably should have said it sooner. He didn’t even know why he hadn’t done that til now.

„No! Really?“ His mother exclaimed shoked in pretence, nudging him lightly as she chuckled.

„What reaction do you want? Strict parent, or not understanding mother, or perhaps I could tell you, I always knew you weren’t as hetero as you believed. Even though that would be a lie.“

Jens bit his lip to contain his amusement. Instead he tilted his head as if he needed to consider her words. Jens definitely knew who was responsible for his personality. Even though they only had gotten as close and on par with each other since the diagnoses. She wasn’t just a parent any longer to him. He wished they had been like that earlier. They had fought rather often. Certainly him having been to blame for most of it. Sneaking out to meet Britt and later Jana, or getting caught coming home high and drunk. Perhaps he had to change first to get to this point.

„How about your genuine feelings?“

He therefore asked, not much worried that she would dismiss his boyfriend. It took her a second to think about it before she spoke.

„Obviously I like him a lot, and I’m glad you have him, you always seem happier with Lucas around. He is very kind. And he can keep up with your assholery.“ 

„Assholery?“ He snorted. 

„Yes, hush! You can really suck sometimes. And regarding him being a boy. I don’t care. I just want you to be loved, respected and supported. That’s all that is important to me.“

Lucas was that, wasn’t he? 

„I just wanted to actually tell you this, you know, in person. Out loud.“ 

His mother nodded, grinning at him, as they both had turned their heads while talking. Though he brought his eyes back onto the banister of the stairs infront of him, pulling on the ends of his hoodie’s sleves.

„Don’t you think it’s unfair to him?“

„What is?“ 

„This. Like I know I’m his real first relationship. And I had Britt and Jana and, like, other girls before him. I feel like I’m keeping him from something. I don’t know what exactly. Dating around. Hooking up casually. Not remembering the girl you drunk kissed last night at a party.“

„Speaking from experience, I take it.“ His mother sounded gleeful as she said it. She wasn’t wrong. Not that he would actually tell her that. She knew anyway. So he went on. 

„Just something that makes him regret it in the future, if he stays for all of this that is my fucking life.“

„You haven’t talked about this with him?“ 

Jens stayed silent. They both knew better than expecting him openly talking about his personal feelings. Late night talks with his mom though made it easier.

„I think Lucas is at an age to decide that for himself. In fact you are both graduating soon, just enjoy the time you two get to have. You are both teenagers. Nobody expects this to last forever. You are dating for what? A month? Don’t worry about what’s after, and talk to him, tell him what you think. Take it easy.“

She concluded, reaching over to place her hand on his knee. Her thumb brushing over it in light circles.

„I don’t know.“

„Then what do you actually know?“

Sometimes his mother murdered him in cold blood with her quips. 

“Hey!” He exclaimed accusatory. She was his mother. She had to love him unconditional. Not be mean to him.

They both were nonetheless enjoying the quiet banter and even the silence that followed when the two of them were each sunken in their own heads.

„I’ve written your father.“ His mother suddenly said, making his head spun round. He hadn’t known they were in contact. The last two years went completely by without any message nor a mention of his dad. 

„I don’t have his phone number, but his mail adress, and so I’ve told him today about everything that is happening right now. He is still the man I had planned to grow old with, the man I’d die next to. Even after all these years I can’t quite forget about him. He should know at least.“

She sounded saddened as she spoke, her voice low and resigned.

„I’m not gonna let him come back here and take Lotte.“

It was all Jens honestly cared for, even if it was cold to ignore his mothers remeining love for his father. He knew that his parents were officially still married. To his knowledge neither his father nor his mother ever hadn’t gotten into a serious relationship after they broke it off.

„Let me finish, okay?“  She interrupted his thoughts. „I also did it to send him a form Alex gave me for him to sign, and waive his position of choice as the legal guardian. I thought you may not want to talk to him yourself. It’s also one less thing for you to worry about it.“

„Thank you.“ He was greateful for that, honestly. He should have stopped at that, yet still found himself asking: „Why did you let him do this to you?“

„What?“ She looked at him puzzled, perhaps retracing her words to figure out what Jens was getting at.

„Let him leave you.“ He expanded on his question. Something he realised he had thought about since his father had left them six years ago. Jens probably should have asked this years ago in order to understand, because he never could figure it out. His father was just gone for months on end, and one day for good.

„It wasn’t something that came over night. We both knew since we began dating at university. He had always talked about his plans and ambitions. And I always reminded him that I wanted children more than anything else. So he gave me you three to love and I gave him his freedom.“

„Aren’t you regretting it?“

„Letting him go?“

Jens nodded. Yes exactly. Like how can you merry a person you know will leave you at some point. Maybe even a fixed point as his father began his expeditions and travels right after his phd.

„No. Well sometimes. When you three drove me crazy. Especially that one day you decided to give your baby sister the cream jar, for her to smear all over the living room, herself and you included. I had to bath you three for an hour to get everything washed out. Cried two more hours after. And the armchair, the poor armchair had to be thrown out.“ 

She laughed, as she indulged in her reminiscence. He couldn’t help but smile at her. They really had done some dumb stuff when they were younger. How his mother had managed to keep Lies and him in check while tending to Lotte was a mystery to Jens.

„But no I don’t regret ever having had all of you. Nor having let him follow his passion and do his work. I think he would have stayed had I asked him to. But he would have come to resent me for it one day. Sometimes you have to let people go because you love them.“

„Sounds stupid.“

His mother just giggled at his blunt response. She rose her hand ruffling his hair, ignoring his complaint as leaned away to escape her teasing.

„Maybe you are right.“ She admitted sheeply. „I am your mother, but I really don’t know shit.“ She grinned brightly at him as he watched her amused. „To let you in on the secret of adulthood. You just have to wing it most of the times and hope for the best.“

His groan could have probably woken his sister if she wouldn’t be such a deep sleeper.

„This sucks.“

„It does.“ She agreed without hesitation, trying to comfort him with a kiss to his forehead. It helped a little.

„So what are your plans?“

„For what?“

„I don’t know.“ She shrugged, leaving him none the wiser on if she was playing at something. Maybe Lucas had talked to her today? 

„Senne invited us all for christmas to go to his grandparent’s cabin in switzerland.“

„Really?“ He hadn’t expected her to look so happy while surprised.

„Yes.“ The confirmation was just a little whisper. He was uncomfortable to talk about it. Jens knew she would want him to go. And he knew he couldn’t just leave her at home, and enjoy his holidays, knowing his mom’s declining health. What kind of son would he be?

„Wow now I’m very jealous.“

„I’m not going.“ He cut her off, before she could say anything else. Of course it was already to late, her cheery expression already faltering.

„Why? Come on, Jens, tell them that you will join their trip.“

„It would be our last christmas.“

He only had to send her one look, to make her understand and sigh.

„I know. But I’d rather have you spend some weeks away from all of this. Get your head free a little, get distracted. I had planned to go see my mom in Brussel anyway, if I can, before... You know. So you could drop off Lotte and me on the way and then see your friends. Sit in front of a fire with them. Kiss your boyfriend on a mountaintop. I don’t know. Just enjoy your time, before you’ll have your little sister tag along on any other vacation for the next couple of years.“

It sounded so easy when his mother said it. As if he could just turn his brain off for a moment and not think about her all the time when she wasn’t around. But he supposed she had a point. Especially at the end of her little monologue.

„Geez. You might be right.“

„I always am. So you are going?“

He kinda hated how bold she smiled, knowing she had made him consider it and probably accept Senne’s invitation. Damn her.

„I’ll sleep on it.“ He sighed once more, while he rolled his eyes especially hard.

„Good enough for me. We should probably head to bed as well. When will Lucas be here with his mom for breakfast again?“ 

Oh. That reminded Jens of what he actually had wanted to do after dinner, when he had stood in his room questioning why he had made the trip upstairs in the first place He definitely had taken his phone off the charger and down back to the kitchen, didn’t meant he had actually sent the text.

„Eh... Shit, should probably message him. I forgot. What was it? Nine thirty? Ten?“

Lucas had said something before he had left. 

„I can’t believe I am leaving all of this and the responsibitliies to you.“

His mother cluck her tounge, as she shook her head. Her expression definitely amused.

„Funny. Come, I’ll help you up.“ He said getting to his feet first before he extended his hand for her to take. They both needed a moment to recover, stretching in place after having lingered in the same position for a while. And on the hard floor as well. 

In turn it was her now reaching out for him, to nudge him towards her room. Both squeezing in on the free side of the bed. His mother only reaching over to turn off the light and call it a day.

__ __ __

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots