#All that aside it's just expensive also
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Good lird even just vaguely browsing looking for a place to rent is depressing
#I know that's not a fun process I've been told that and expected it. But still.....#It kind of feels useless even while I believe I have to do it.#I saw a quote the other day about someone not becoming. A real person until they'd moved out. (very paraphrased)#And it made me think because that's how I feel except I don't think. That will happen. To me...#I guess changing my immediate surroundings is a step towards changing myself. I'm just sceptical because I have a bad track record#All that aside it's just expensive also#rosa talk
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I’ll be honest i HATE the way the QSMP fanbase is treating Gegg and Tallulah. Like Gegg literally just appears, bro hasn’t done a single thing and people start talking about how they want him to die 😭 ?? And Tallulah starts feeling insecure trough no fault of Gegg and the Gegg tag just EXPLODES with hate. I’m a big petty baby and i don’t like seeing /neg in the tags bro. It just kinda feels like tallulahs the golden child who can do no wrong and Geggs the scapegoat who’s blamed for everything, and i feel like people are already taking it too far
#Gegg#QSMP#worm do rant#I can't belive im ranting about minecraft egg roleplay#To be honest i really relate to the whole seeking love an affection thing#so the first gegg stream was kind of like emotionally comforting almost#and then this gegg stream was fucking awful ngl#like its super funny#but seeing how people reacted to gegg made me upset#Also? geniunely starting to not like Tallulah#just by assosiation#don't like seeing her treated as the golden child at geggs expense#this might all sound rlly stupid but im off my meds and i need to be emotionally invested in something that has no consaquence over my life#because if i focus on my actual problems im gonna kay em ess#HE DID FLOW UP TILINS ROOM THATS FUCKED UP#but aside from that? bros innocent#i support geggs rights and geggs wrongs
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i still haven’t written out my 261 metapost but i can’t stop thinking about the stsg subtext in that chapter . the parallels between geto slaughtering the village and gojo slaughtering the higher ups…. the fact that gojo does it right after declaring that he has to “catch up” to geto
#IT’S SOOOOOOO#i will die defending gege akutami’s character writing i’m sorry#i think the shinjuku arc is sloppy when it comes to pacing and some technical fight stuff#but character writing wise it’s SO fucking good it’s so incredible it drives me insane#character writing AND relationship writing#which imo are gege’s strongest points aside from fight choreography#like it just . drives me insane#it’s such an interesting line!!!#he needs to Catch Up to geto. he needs to make a choice for himself not knowing if it’s right or wrong just like he did#he needs to carry through with an extreme action to get the change he wants .#instead of the slow “root cause” method that he himself implemented#(which for the record would have been smarter in geto’s case but for gojo’s goal extreme violence Works )#i also think that on some level it’s like … kinda proving geto’s point?#“you could do it satoru.” he has the power to change the world almost however he wants and he finally used it#at the expense of his own morality and sense of reason. which does turn him into a “monster” narratively i think#i mean . obviously i don’t think gojo killing the higher ups makes him a bad person 😭 it’s a very big deal for gojo’s character though!!#he’s always been capable of cold pragmatism. and he’s always been willing to get his hands bloodied .#but NOT with humans/sorcerers and that’s the really big distinction . he’s not psychotic. he never has been.#i think gojo was probably scared when he decided to go through with it. because it really is him trading a piece of his humanity away#:((((((((((((#aughhhhhhhh gege akutami i love you but when i fucking catch youuuuuuuuuu#anyway i should rlly save all this for the metapost but 😭 i needed to get it out….#ari noises ✩#meta ✩#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers#jjk 261
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do you have recommendations for rpgs? i have only played bg3, dragon age, and mass effect. also nothing is more important than romance to me sorry to serious people
yess! this post from the other day is a good starting point (and i think op has some similar lists on their blog) but here are a few that would be good to get started with if you want to branch out:
(btw, these are only games i've played - there are a few i see recced a lot that i haven't gotten around to yet lol)
divinity: original sin 2 - you've probably heard of this if you're into bg3, but it's worth trying. the gameplay is very similar, except it doesn't use a d&d ruleset or have any animated cutscenes. there are romancable companions, but they work differently to bg3 in the sense that you have to choose your party composition early in the game and stick with it, which is fun for replayability imo. i don't think the companions are as interesting as the ones in bg3 either but they all have interesting stories that run parallel to the main plot
pathfinder: wrath of the righteous - wotr is another crpg, imo it can be a little hard to wrap your head around at first compared to bg3, but once you're past the learning curve it's really fun. the writing and companions are all really interesting and it's great for letting you roleplay as a wide range of characters and moralities - some of the romances go deep into sicko territory which is great for me personally. there's a ton of reactivity as well, each "path" (your specialisation) has its own set of quests and will affect your relationships with companions. nobody will love you if you become a lich :( . the main issue with the game tho is it's bloated and long (i've literally never finished a run because i get distracted 80 hours in) but it's worth the time you put into it imo
baldurs gate 1 & 2 - these games are kind of dated but if you can handle dao, you can probably manage them? it took me a few tries to get a feel for the first one, but once i got into it i played through both games without stopping lol. they're real time with pause like origins and only the second one has romance (though the ee version adds romancable companions that appear in both games which is fun).
pillars of eternity 1 & 2 - honestly, i'm not super into these games but other people really like them and i understand why. they're a really good modernisation of the original baldurs gate / infinity engine games with a narrative that lots of people are into. the first game has no romance and is real time with pause, while the second game will let you romance characters (some of them reappear from the first game, so i guess you can treat it like a realllly slow burn) and play either real time with pause or turn based.
disco elysium - okay, there's technically no romance but it's so good that i'll rec it anyway. it's a crpg but has no actual combat, the writing and story are really unique and it's just a great experience to have.
enderal: forgotten stories special edition - this game is really hard to recommend because it makes me sound crazy but please hear me out. this skyrim mod is maybe one of the best games i've ever played. if you have skyrim special edition you can download and run it for free, mechanically it runs pretty much like skyrim but the writing and story are insane. the romances are also good, there are only two main ones but they're very tied to the plot.
skyrim...?: if you haven't already played skyrim and you want to get it for enderal then it's also worth playing anyway. it's my horrible wife that poisons me whenever i try to divorce her but it's a fun experience. the romance is pretty shit but there are some good mods with romancable companions (i like gore, he reminds me of marcus lol). it has a lot of the same issues in its writing as dai does, but the world is designed so well that i can play for hundreds of hours just doing my own thing and ignoring the main quest
there are LOADS more but these are just a fun starting point based on liking bioware and bg3, hope you enjoy!
#ask#anonymous#these are all crpgs aside from the last 2 btw... ik there are good rpgs from other subgenres with romance but i havent played many#cyberpunk is apparently good but it's always so expensive#also i only recced pathfinder wotr and not kingmaker just because kingmaker can be kind of hard to get into
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just created a budget for the rest of my life and i legitimately feel SO much better…
#i guesstimated how much money i’d be making based on the level i’ll be at and went from there#estimated what my monthly and annual expenses would be#and then determined how much would be left over for savings#and it SEEMS like (if all goes well) i should be maxing out both of my retirement savings accounts every year by my 30s#with PLENTY left over for my other non-retirement savings by my 40s#and like. WHEW!!!!!!!!#i really did not think that would be possible#but it turns out when you make money… you have money#CRAZY stuff - truly#i should also be able to put aside a little bit for retirement even now#planning to start that next month#if all goes well i will have WAY too much money by 65#but you can never have too much money because having extra means you can give it away#i’m honestly just really excited to be a responsible saver… my grandparents will all be so proud of me!
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#welp! things continue to happen!#my wife has been hospitalized! (like kinda preemptively)#she should be fine but it's still. very hard.#and she has good insurance so it shouldn't be a big expense#(aside from like. if she runs out of sick days.)#she thinks she should be fine to go back to work and handle the move and all#but if she isn't we've got a backup plan sketched out.#and yknow like. it's hard. it sucks.#I don't know when she will be home or how she'll be doing.#plus I've still also been in need of care this whole dang time but that will have to wait a little longer!#it's just real hard!#I'm having a real bad time!
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Bad news, got back from the vet and my beautiful baby son is going to have to be put down soon, probably tomorrow or the next day, so send him best of wishes for his next few days~ Luckily, he's actually not in a lot of pain (for now, hopefully he won't be) and is acting pretty normal, so I'm hoping he won't suffer at all and everything will be peaceful for him.
#pet death tw#death mention#let me know if I need any other tags#I would post something to help pay for his euthanasia expenses or etc. but I don't know of any secure methods#since I don't know much about stuff like that. I've heard that like on paypal and ebay and stuff people can still get your real name#and some information from their payment receipts or whatever sutff like that. thats part of why I've held off on selling clothes and sculpt#res for so long is trying to find a way to do it that's the most safe. aside from literall yhaving to start an llc and open a business bank#account and run everything on an entirely sepreate thing just so it has no association with my name and etc.#and obviouskly I don't feel like figuring out all of that stuff right now lol#I am busy just trying to make my beautiful meatloaf son comfortable and spend some time with him whilst I can#It's sad. but I'm glad the issues were caught before he was in terrible pain or anything. So suprisingly it was actually a pretty easy#decision. I would rather him go out while he's feeling okay and relatively content then wait until he's in severe#pain or extremely lethargic or etc. So it seems all very sudden but . It's better that way for him.#anyway#of COURSE this has to happen during a heat wave also.. hhrgghhh...#more fuel for my vendetta against summer lol.. Not that it's the season's fault but. something bad happening in the winter#vs. seomthing bad happening in the summer which just adds an extra layer of 'oh yeah on top of everything else#you're going to be sweating and nauseous and chronically uncomfortable!' is like.. >:T#Also for him. part of the issue is lung cancer which has spread and caused a bunch of fluid to build up in his stomach (which is what I#noticed. even though he's acting perfectly fine and normal his stomach was weird and bloated suddenly)#but if part of the problem is his lungs (which look absolutely crazy on xray) then him breathing in hot shitty thick air is definitely#not as comfortable as if he were able to be nice and cool and snuggled in some blankets. etc. etc.#ANYWAY ghhb... send him much luck and positivity!! Really hoping he can make it through the next day or so without#taking a turn for the worst. So hopeing for a peaceful quiet exit and not like tramatic sudden things. etc. etc.#cross your fingers pray to your gods whisper to the night sky so on and so forth. whatever you do that's meaningful to you.
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Going to forever keep advertising my shit with tropes because do I have to? No. Am I too "stupid" to do it another way? No, not really. And as you've all seen, I also am perfectly capable of writing real blurbs and do write real blurbs. But I think it's fun to make the pic with the tropes anyway and have that around too. And also it keeps the pretentious people away. The sort who don't understand reading is not always for taking a "discomfort" vitamin because they A) are privileged enough to not have discomfort every day of their life to need to escape from or B) are fresh out of college and haven't discovered the joys of/have been shamed OUT of reading as a fun low pressure thing they can do to escape when they're fucking tired (and they think this sort of thing is new with fanfic and not more or less how "trash" lit like romance novels are marketed), as opposed to reading as some sort of Moral Duty To Be Deep that was instilled in them by a middle aged straight white English professor who thinks one can fulfill this by writing 10 pages about books where people scream at each other, have affairs with young women, or Make Up A Guy to warn people about things that Could Happen (that *cough* already happen to marginalized people *cough*) Anyway it's my version of a scarecrow. Firing shots to keep the rent low. Come take a seat next to me in the dumpster my fellow raccoons.
#Doing this for music of my heart for one day when I cram it all into a delicious tropey collection#God the only thing I hate about this post though is how the length of that sentence reminds me of Charles Dickens I fuckin hate that guy#I love being a shallow gremlin it's part of my brand#I jest but tbh I just am so over that stuff#It's another version of trashing romance novels or pop music or whatever to feel deep#Like if you were really deep#You would conceive of the breadth of humanity - only a fraction of which is inherently graspable by you on a deeper level#You would conceive of the fact that the experiences of the collective of humanity amount to 8 billion inner universes#You would conceive of how the ultimate 'depth' is accepting that you will only ever dip your finger into the surface of the lake#Of human experience#And that nothing hints at the existence of this lake more than someone being able to take joy in or find value#In something which you are fundamentally incapable of inherently ascribing value to - a truth that there's absolutely no fault in#aside from the fault of believing a value is universal because you possess it#This is also sort of like that thing where I talk like a caffienated teenager in a 2003 deviant art forum#But I can whip out the 'correct' grammar and spelling as needed to shut someone up who's being needlessly pretentious#I know this will get no notes and you'll think me a fool shooting myself in the foot but I really don't care#1) I have a day job so I can afford all the attitude I want#And 2) I feel like the people who like my stuff get it....and that's fine with me#if my friends and regulars like things that's good enough for me#Also sorry while we're at it we should probably talk about how thinking fanfic is inherently stupid#Or not a valuable form of reading material#Is deeply linked with homophobia and misogyny#There are a LOT of problems with fanfic but they mostly have to do with people focusing on derivative work at the expense of#Indie creators getting attention for original work that doesn't benefit from a corporations' billions of dollars of marketing
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Just hunted down a physical copy of "Pages Passed from Hand to Hand: The Hidden Tradition of Homosexual Literature in English from 1748 to 1914" that's in good condition, affordable, and without abhorrent shipping fees, and yes yes, having to wait three weeks until it gets here is entirely reasonable, but also I'm so excited for it, my already non-existent well of patience is a little kid waiting for presents on Christmas help
#mona rambles#I've started reading Maurice and it reminded me to check and lo and behold! my bookshop can order it for me#bless their hearts so shortly before Christmas too#still though *three weeks* I am Not A Patient Person#like. I know it's reasonable!! just. aghhh#that one has been on my list for A While and it's always been either expensive in itself or for shipping fees#like. i mean you can get it from amazon i think but i kinda doubly refuse with books like this so. that aside#also there are pdfs yes but i just. yeah#like it's absolute high-level being picky stuff#but like. if you were familiar with my bookshelves you'd not be surprised 💀#I just. really really like having physical copies of stuff and something about queer history and how much it's been erased#or attempted to be erased#makes me feel all the more strongly about. you know. having physical history so#ANYWAY#YAY to me I'll get a belated Christmas present from myself in roughly 3 weeks!#if i frame it like that often enough i might stop vibrating out of my seat
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it’s supposed to snow and be gross all day tomorrow but i wanna go to the gym and thrift and go for a walk😭 i have a little bit of school work to catch up on and i wanna revise my notes for a test that’s coming up at the end of the month. but i wanna go outside first omg
#text#my sister bought a folding treadmill and i wanna see if she’ll let me use it if it’s too gross to go out tomorrow#but fr i haven’t been OUT of my house (aside from work) in almost a month. and im feeling it#if i get certified after this class. i could work remotely. and i WANT to but i also can’t be here all day#i’d be making more so i could afford to rent somewhere. renting in south jersey is fucking insane rn and i wouldn’t be able to afford it..#i don’t wanna necessarily move FAR away from home but i can’t afford anything at all in nj. and i don’t rly wanna live in philly#so i’ve been looking around in pa + delaware but if im moving kinda far away why not just move a couple states away where its a little less#expensive 😭#and ik once i move out ill want to try taking dating a little more seriously#the most realistic future: i wfh and continue to pay off student loans before moving out. and i feel insane and i have no privacy#and my anxiety doesn’t get that much better bc my house is chaotic + i don’t LEAVE for work and i don’t go out#my parents aren’t like. expecting me to move out anytime soon but i can’t stand living with three dogs. it’s so overwhelming all the time#i should save my money and not move out. but omg
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fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good
#winston billions#the tragedy of the Lose Lose imbalanced [rian is ostensibly a character but actually a plot device] [winston: ostensible plot device but#actually a character] like yknow we could even some of this out a little. but also once again billions' handling of Gender Things....#that's (mostly) all an issue on rian's side of the Quants Who Are Also You scales#(it's also ofc still relevant re: winston; or anyone; and especially wrt Autistic Character but that's gonna be beyond billions)#(even [society if nonbinary rian] aside like. thinking you simply have one of your rare Cis Women Characters here....come on)#give rian a little more of that '''''worse''''' treatment that would let her be more Funny Little Guy as lets winston be more characterful#even transcending the [they won't give him an arc or C plot that's actually about him or anything] limitations#meanwhile again like Lmfao rian was Meant to be important but that's Only meant taking part in Other People's Plots as [device]#being a plot device is a way to use characters it's not like Inherently Bad but like lmao. rian doesn't get to do anything herself For Real#AND all the plot devicery means she's never gotten to have consistent enough motivations or like. traits to be An Character.#winston's writing is so [here he is to do little a expositing. butt of the joke. minor plot device] that he has way more room to like#just be idiosyncratic & Not have that yanked around by ''prominence''....it happens to All billions characters but it's So bad w/rian#like i can go ''this feels like it's Too Far serving the plot or conflict at the expense of character'' other times w/other roles but like#that'll then also be isolated enough to just ignore. w/rian it's like spent that whole time doing multivariable calculus waiting on more#info more context to conclude anything abt what she's even Basically supposed to be like. even my more generous theories can't hold up#and based on precedent i don't have much hope that remaining [i guess this could be a quality of hers] will either (a) not be contradicted#or (b) get to actually mean anything in any of her arcs which ig now get to be about the [nothing] that is [pay disrespects]#winston isn't bound to get a real arc even last minute but he'll still have felt like more of a character#rian doomed by intending ''importance'' from the start & that they don't seem to have ever had the idea of any more solid foundation#and that billions going ''gender; huh?'' can be like. rian has to go away now; we needed her vagania for diluted cishet man sex scandal#well i for one am really reflecting on Women In The Workplace(tm) now & for what. rian funnier littler guy winston Ever getting a C plot...#a superior tmc timeline....and like as ever rian can be shitty that'd be fine. but if it Means Nothing b/c billions either goes [nuh uh]#and/or b/c either way it just does Nothing with it. that then Is Not character material for her; it more so is For Winston suffering it....#most likely to end with billions just agreeing rian Was so specially meritous & deserving & winston was too cringefail (autistic) to live#even if we get anything Alright / given consideration & care in his material....which will in turn be like eh. as ever; will take it lol#plus ofc fascinating like. can't draw a hard line b/w the Writing & the Performance but still wondering how much of winston's idiosyncrasy#and that sense of character is big time via will's acting. definitely got that foundation in that the Writing = quant kid 2; one-off joke#and the Performance of that material = furiously writing in multiple winston scenes & despite it all bringing him all the way into s7#but he's autistic & typecast so also our hands are tied. could've had more for Either/Both quants; which = more for taylor by extension. f
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trying to talk myself down from buying more viking garb for the ren fest this fall even though there is no way in fuck I’m wearing 100% wool in September and all my original ren fest garb was uh. Dog Shit(tm)
also oscillating wildly back and forth between “keep the viking garb and ren fest garb separate” and just going “fuck it” and embracing full viking all the time
#EXPENSIVE HOBBY!! EXPENSIVE HOBBY!! EXPENSIVE HOBBY!!#however aside from entirely draining my social batteries in one fell fucking swoop a full day at the ren fest IS only possible#bc I don’t have to mask at ALL there#whomst amomg you would notice the Autism Gremlin? none!!#realistically I’m just gonna cobble together some half viking half medieval all fantasy shit bc I like borrowing from both ^^;#it’s less important to me there than it is at like. viking fest#also a season pass may be worthwhile#bc both my brothers wanna go now but I can’t take them Together#and real talk it’d be nice to go once w just my friends and split an uber so we can enjoy Beverages
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itis very funny i post so much abt myself but i dont actually post that much abt what goes on day to day . mainly bc there isnt much but like. u guys arent even aware of mine and lamps current music phase .. crazy
#well i thnnk ive mentioned it. were very jnto kpop atm weve been watching a lot of videos ive added like 30 new songs to my playlsit snd#theyre all kpop. its fun#we arent rly into any of the like . fandom part of it FNFNJF neither of us rly do fandom at all im reformed and lamp never rly has. but yes.#there r like 8 kpop songs on my on repeat atm which ik doesnt seem like a ton but its bc i tend to just listen to the same 3 songs on repeat#for days on end#currently villain by pixy is going platinum. and nobody knows by kiss of life is huge. and maria by hwasa and hip by mamamoo were big...#SOO yes. and theres many others...#we just watch those big comp videos and then grab whatever we like.and today we watched a lot of the dance practice videos bc theyre fun 2#watch#but ya. itis fun. its also fun bc like. obv since were watching like. fancomps we get to like peoplewatch kpoppies which is fun. except when#it isnt but then we just dont look at the comments#umm and today we played more stardeww we finally finished the first year in our save. i mentioned potato bix earlier its the deeply#controversial new farm layout#we only had 30 strawberry seeds from last year skullllll. so its very potato heavy hence the name#its like. i think. 2 6x13s + 2 21x3s. but the 21x3s have sprinklers#and then other assorted crops in the middle and then lamps got like a few up by their house but theyre all sprinkled#it does look like ass. and the profits Will not even be that good. BUT ! our fortunes will turn come blueberry day <- famous joke with me#and lamp. more common variation our fortunes will turn come cranberry day#i will say spring in sdv is like back to school like winter is for kicking it and playing around and then its spring and its like fuckk. we#have to do everything there is#but were almost done with all the bundles we have to get fuckass red cabbage so itll be fall b4 its done#weve got 2/3 apples just from the batcave so thats nice#and aside from that we need like 3 more gold parsnips and then a few animal goods. like i think we need 2 of 3. of large milk large goat#milk and duck egg. and we just got cows and a duck#nd thennnn well be getting the goat soon..#und then well prolly fully update the barn and coop#weve got most of our tools to gold except like. an ax and i think lamps pan needs another upgrade. weve even got the trashcans gold now#nd then eere gonna hold off on iridium bc 1 we dont have much 2 were sabing for sprinklers for when we get the greenhouse and 2 expensive.#itll have to wait for BLUEBERRY DAYYYY which willt ake a while#and then probably well just work on fully upgrading the house and all this.
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hey genuine question here: why does it cost me nearly 80$ to ship art from an American store regardless if size but under 1kg ... but it (would) costs me under 60$ to get 0.7kg of (art) stuff from Japan? both I'd be getting charged the same amount of import fees on if any.
#is shipping just THAT cheap on the Japanese side of the equation?#im so fucking confused#i mean trust me i was more confused when i was like oh yay a sale i will order 2 print and 1 pin from ray#why is the shipping 150 dollars 🧍♂️? (pre covid).#that was the at check out price estimate. deranged. any way.#the items themsleves cost like.... 25$? idk wtf was going on in the back end or if it was a calculation error or a surcharge due to holidays#but i have never even seriously considered even thinking abt looking into ordering any of his merch again LNAO#ray can you please just send it yo me folded up via letter mail? ill unfold it. its okay. skip any fancy packaging#any way my fav japanese fox artist opened an international store and i have a cart worth 172$ after shipping costs waiting for me#once i get my tax refund (i will probably not end up buying any of it)#(i can not justify that expense)#(but i wpuld very much like them. the shipping isnt even an issue. its about half the total cost. which. its coming from japan. Yeah. Duh.)#lays down. fox.#they have three little charms i want to bad. i want essentially yheir entire stock. there liks 3 things i dint rlly want and even then im#like idk maybe i do kinda#also asidr aside they have a piece of three toxes that sent a bilt if sheer terror theough me but i added it to my cart and thiught#well if i invite the three sisters in they canthurt me#all defiant.#and well the fear left#why did no one tell me it was that easy#unralted to the three sisters food crop#more related to the three sisters greek wiyh the eye ball except they are thosw girls#these are specifics spectres that haunt me and only me to try and rip my soul from mybkdy when i least expect it#but suddenly im lime. nah rn? wete good :) they cant hurt me! i invited them in! that would be rude of them. and they cant be rude!#i havent slept in. almost 24 hours now and i barely slept last night i am getting too old for this (is 27)
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I feel like an idiot. Who was going to tell me when you’re setting a long term savings goal with a thing to buy at the end as a reward you’re supposed to have the savings goal be price of thing you’re getting plus savings not just save until you get enough money to get the thing you want and then immediately be completely zero dollars broke again
#this is. a half joke. but also. so incredibly real. I am terrible at having money and saving I’ve never put money aside once in my fucking#life I always just save until I can get the expensive thing I want and then I save until I can get the expensive thing I want again (btw.#expensive in my brain ranges from like. 30 dollars to 600 dollars. just btw.)#once I saved 600 for concert tickets (cough cough to see crankthatfrank emo YouTuber on tour full vip 😭) but I was like 13 and it was my#first job and I haven’t saved that much since then at all 😭😭😭 I don’t think I’ve had over 300 dollars in my account since then EVER like#fuck. I feel so stupid!!!!!!!! why am I so bad with money why didn’t I get taught about saving in ways that made since to my adhd high#school drop out brain!!!!! I have zero fucking impulse control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#💰
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Rural queers, suburban queers, queers surrounded by hate, I may never be strong enough to live your life, but I stand in solidarity with you. you are welcome in spaces with me. lightspeed and stars' blessings to you. I send the same regards to rural/suburban poc and poc surrounded by hate, and it all goes doubly for those of both demographics.
white trans ppl from liberal suburbia in blue states will go on and on about how scary it is to be a trans person right now but the second they encounter a trans person from a red state they’ll be like “ummmmm why would you live in such an uncivilized place lmao maybe you shouldn’t have voted for republicans like if you don’t like how conservative it is then just leave” as if these states aren’t populated by black and brown people who face intense voter suppression and poor people who can’t just up and leave. not to mention the fact that all those articles y’all are sharing about the state of trans safety? those are in our states and we will be the ones who go down first. so instead of laughing at us dumb hicks from your liberal safe haven, consider instead shutting the fuck up and actually doing something to help us. because they’re coming for you next.
#byrd chirps#for real as a queer southerner i support this 100%#i didn't even realize how right-wing my area was until i got to the city and was like Oh Hello Human Kindness#and dgmw i fucking hate the culture i grew up in because it was white-ass assimilated mormon culture#mixed with suburban rich white kids#aside from my own mixed family i saw probably less than one person of color per day#even at school i'd see less than one black person a week unless someone in my class happened to be black#it's gentrified as hell over there jesus fuck#and now i actually get to see some realistic human diversity that isn't as influenced by capitalism#and it's like hello! how many ways there are to be human! how many lives there are being lived!#no more cookie-cutter people living cookie-cutter lives!#(in reference to mormons vs nonmormons bc mormons are kinda few and far between here)#idk there's probably problematicisms with what i just said#but also even the people in my hometown deserve safety acceptance love exactly where they are!#it doesn't matter how much i fucking hate the suburbs the people living there are still people!#i shouldn't've had to leave to feel like a whole human being!#everyone is worth fighting for to someone#and our family deserves community as a baseline not as a reward for living in queersville leftistate#like that concept is so fucking classist bc you just KNOW those queer safe havens are expensive as fuck to live in#just admit you don't care about poor queers and go#and im sure all this applies for poc living in hella racist areas too#southern culture excluding the history of conservatism and its impact is such a joy to me#arizona is my home and i. i don't want to run away. im tired of feeling like i need to run away#im probably going to move to minnesota since it's gearing up to be a queer safe haven#but... i shouldn't have to go. i should be able to find home here#i am allowed to mourn what i am going to lose in the race for safety#and you can't take that away from me#let me mourn the creosote. let me mourn the desert's lives. let me mourn monsoon season. i will miss her dearly#just because the conservatives are ass-backwards doesn't mean that you get to ask me to throw away the things that brought me joy#the things that i've held onto that have made this all worth it
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