#All of us Dazai Analyzers are just doing our best out here

[anti-dazai-blog]

hi im here again!! (sorry i love discussing my thoughts!!) i can share who i think dazai cares abt (also pls note these are not HEALTHY ways of caring or even what is considered normal), personally from how i interpreted it, dazai has cared for more ppl even if its not what is normally seen as caring. and in that i do inlcude; oda, chuuya, akutugawa . (also just cause i can see care that does NOT take away any of the trauma aku faced please do not get me wrong) with aku its VERY complicated especially cause dazai’s “care” was so warped (basically boiled down to dazai knew his training was abuse but cause aku did survive in the mafia and he’s able to make a use now he sees it as it was required) and especially cause unless something happens dazai wont ever acknowledge his actions cause he doesn’t want to acknowledge his mafia past (i could literally do a whole another post on chuuya so i wont do that 😭, skk’s trust and care is another thing despite how they become so destructive due to yk never being normal and being mafia ) dazai needs sm therapy basically in how he shows ANYTHING -🪡

[regarding the second (third?) ask: don’t worry, I know you’re not toxic— you’ve been very polite the whole time, so. It was pretty clear that you’re a casual analysis enjoyer and not some toxic fan/stan]

Tbh I think what you said actually aligns well with what I said (if I��m remembering the original ask correctly). He treats people poorly, including the people he cares about. He would need some sort of “wake up call” (a big uh oh moment, y’know.) to get him to realize he messed up. 

I guess another way to look at it would be to check how he spends his time— the people he (intentionally) spends the most time with would be the people he cares about the most— which, as you listed here, are Oda, Chuuya, and Akutagawa. I think Atsushi could probably be included on that list as well. (The only reason Kunikida’s not on this list is because I haven’t read the light novel Dazai’s Entrance Exam yet, so I don’t feel qualified to decide whether or not he enjoys(?) spending time with him.)

Either way, this is probably something that will come up later on in the manga series (I’d be surprised if there wasn’t eventually some moment where Dazai had to face The Consequences of his own Actions). So I’m in no rush to definitively make any claims here. I will gladly wait and see how it’s resolved in the manga.

[catzula]

can i req dazai x f!reader where dazai and her are kinda best friends(both of them hv feelings for each other)She’s is v cunning and manipulative using whatever means she can to get informations. They don’t want to confess to each other and they keep their feelings v well & it took one life threatening injury for him to confess to her like she’s at the brink of death fluff ending pls :)) omg this is so detailed

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long to write! Bt ughh, this is my first request, and thank you so much for sending it! Hope you like it :)))

Pairing: Dazai Osamu x fem!Reader

Genre: angst with a good ending

Warnings: mentions of blood, some bad writing here and there, 3k words cuz I have no chill

***

You watched the brunette man as he sipped his drink. You knew you shouldn't watch him like this, should conceal the love that was written all over your face.

He was a smart man, was one of the smartest people you have ever got to know. You knew he could figure the feelings you have harvested towards him if he wanted to, but you were also aware he chose not to notice these feelings that were so dear to you.

It would have been better to be away from him, as far as possible, but you found yourself becoming friends with him, it took only the smallest time before you two became best friends.

"I see you can't take your eyes off of me." He said with a playful wink. He grabbed his drink off the counter and sat on the chair next to you. "I was just wondering when you'll stop staring at me." Your words had a harsher tone than you would have liked, but he understood it anyway.

"But how can I not stare when there's such a beauty in front of me?" You knew these words had no romantic meanings behind them, that they were only a joke.

"Well, that's true."

"Of course it is." He looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite read. You were a natural at reading people, their feelings, and their thoughts, but when it came to Dazai, you were as good as blind. You could never understand what he was thinking, not when he was looking at you this way.

"What is it?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. You two were in a bar, in the middle of a group of people, but it felt like you were alone. How did he understand something was troubling you? How could he read you so good when you couldn't even tell what he felt?

You smiled, a sly smile you wore when you were playing with someone. Dazai didn't miss the smile either, as his playful girn wavered slightly, he eyed you like he was trying to read your mind. "How is work, Dazai? You never tell me anything these days."

"You know I can't afford to take the risk of telling you. I can't tell if you're interested in my life or my secrets." He shrugged as he smiled, and although he had a smile on, you knew he was serious.

"What do you think?" You winked, but you felt a frown tugging on your lips. You drank what's left of the burning liquid in your glass, not letting him see you were hurt. Dazai not trusting you was a wound you had, he was your best friend after all, but you didn't get any say much about it.

You watched as Kunikida started to lecture Atsushi on something, and it was aware that the subject was something Kunikida gave great importance. You laughed at the sight since this scene happened almost every time you were here. You weren't an official part of the armed detective agency, but they often called you in to help with some missions. They were mainly detective work that required someone who could get any information from anyone.

Although you weren't like them, you didn't have abilities as they did, you had something even better. You were good at reading people, leading them, making them think whatever you wanted them to think, and making them believe they were the genius behind the idea.

You were a natural at manipulating people, had a wit that could even put up with Dazai. You were proud of it too, it was how you lived after all, but this meant that no one could trust you. You knew it was frightening to be manipulated like a puppet, but you would have liked people to trust you. At least, for him to trust you.

But it was your fault, too. Dazai did trust you at one point in his life, but when he realized you had been taking information from him to give your boss, it was too late. When he figured it out, he wasn't mad at you, didn't even complain, say anything about it, but he stopped trusting you with his secrets, his thoughts, his feelings.

Dazai knew if he was going to be close to you, he had to conceal everything about himself, the attraction he felt towards you coming in first. When he figured your manipulative, sly personality he was amazed, and he just wanted to be close to you. You were on his mind constantly, even occupying the thoughts of suicide.

He wasn't hurt when you used him for information, it was your nature, and he had grown to love this personality of yours, but he had to close himself towards you too.

He smirked when he saw you looking at him, your eyes wandering over his face, trying to figure out what was on his mind. He was about to say something when Kunikida groaned. "You two stop flirting already! Our guy is here."

The playful mood changed almost instantly. Everyone turned their eyes to the man who had just entered the bar, except for Dazai. You could feel his eyes on you, but you ignored it, focusing on your work.

You looked at the man, analyzing him, figuring a way to approach him. He was probably was in his 20's, wore a tailored suit, an expensive-looking watch and shoes, although the leather shoes were muddy and dirty, a very sharp contrast to his fancy clothes and nicely done hair, indicating he had come here straight after his 'work'.

He was the son of a billionaire, a dirty billionaire who was working with the mafia. The armed detective agency was after some secret files, and all you had to do was to find out where these files were, after that they were going to handle it. You watched as the man sat on the bar seat, ordering whiskey for himself.

You inhaled an anxious breath and gathered up your courage. This wasn't the first time you were doing something like this, but there was always a risk, and you couldn't afford to relax.

You started to walk towards him with a flirty smile, a smile you have mastered in the past years. You sat next to him, touching his arm lightly and making him focus on you. You saw the small gleam on his eyes when his eyes wandered over your body, the black dress you were wearing, your legs, and your breasts.

You smiled. It was going to be easier than you had thought.

~~~

Dazai hated that he had to watch you smile to the man, touch him, get close to him, watch him looking at you like you were meat on a silver plate. His hands brushed your legs experimentally, sometimes wandering a little too much.

You never even glanced once in his way, but he knew it was because you were a professional, and that could lead you to blow your cover. You were the best at what you did, and he was amazed by you, but now it felt like it was burning him inside. Though, that burning sensation could be the alcohol too.

"They're going." Kunikida stood up as you exited the bar and went in his car.

~~~

"I think I drank a little too much." You said with a neatly faked drunken smile, slurring your words on purpose. Your eyes scanned the car in merely seconds, thinking of the possible places he could have hidden the files as he buckled his seatbelt.

You leaned on him, nuzzling your face in his neck as you secretly checked his side of the door to see if the files were there, they were not. "Is your place close?" You asked kissing his neck softly. He chuckled at your needy behavior and started the car. "Don't worry, you're gonna get what you're asking for in a few minutes."

For some reason, that sentence just didn't seem right, but you concealed your worry immediately.

"I- I feel dizzy. Do you have any water?" You asked as you acted to open the glove box. His eyes widened as he tried to stop you from doing so, but you were quicker.

Bingo.

The files were in there, his eyes looked at you cautiously as you pouted slightly. "Ugh, paperwork! How boring." You said as you closed it back, though your heart was racing. You hadn't expected to find them in his car, and you didn't know what you were going to do to get away from him since Kunikida told you he was going to wait for you at his place.

He grinned as he slowed his car. A grin that just didn't sit right with his ignorant attitude, and you shivered but smiled to hide your growing fear.

"Are we at your place already?!" you asked, although you knew you weren't even close to his house. You glanced him sideways only to find him looking at you too. Your heart was beating so fast in your chest, a knot of fear forming in your stomach. "No, we're not."

"But why did we stop? I thought you wanted to-"

"Gotta give you credit. You're an amazing actor. If I didn't know who you were, I would have fallen for this charade instantly." He said, and you noticed his hand going to his back, under his coat. Your eyes widened with fear as you quickly opened your seatbelt and threw yourself out the door, but he caught your arm and pulled you back.

"Oh, no." He said with an expression that sent shivers down your back, his smile reminding you of the Cheshire cat. "You're not going anywhere."

~~~

"Where are they?!" Kunikida said, feeling his worry growing with every passing second. He glanced at the man who sat next to him, a relaxed, uninterested look on his face. But Kunikida knew his friend very well, and he knew Dazai was worried out of his mind.

Dazai knew something was up when you were late. You were never late. He just didn't want to get in the way of your work just because he was jealous, he had noticed his feelings towards you growing, even more, the last few months and Dazai couldn't tell if he was acting irrationally when it was about you. But now it was just too much, he couldn't hold it in anymore and had to find you, or this feeling in his chest was going to kill him.

Dazai stood up, making Kunikida look at him with worried eyes. "Dazai, you cant-" Dazai sent him a look that made Kunikida sure that there was nothing that could stop Dazai now.

Kunikida sighed. "I'm coming with you."

~~~

He had left you on the side of the road as you pressed your hand on your wound, trying to stop the blood. Your hands felt cold, and you couldn't stop them from shaking. Your hands were painted in red, and even though you were dying, you only had one thing, or one person, on your mind. Dazai.

If you closed your eyes, you could almost see his brown eyes looking at you, his lips turned upwards in a playful grin, and you wanted nothing more than for him to be with you now. You wished to tell him how you felt about him, to touch his face, his hair. And most of all, you wanted to at least share one kiss with him before you died.

You felt guilty, dying before him, but your life was draining out of you as your blood escaped your fingers, and you could swear you heard him call your name. Maybe it was your consciousness closing and your mind playing you tricks, but if it was only a dream, you were still glad to have heard his voice one last time.

"No, no, no! Oh shit, Y/N!" Your eyes were closed as you felt foreign hands pressing on your wound, and combing your hair back from your face. Your body was lifted and hugged by arms you have always wished that would hold you.

You gathered your energy to open your eyes, probably for the last time. You were glad you had the strength to do so since you got to see Dazai once again. Though he wasn't smiling, his face was wet because of the tears running down his cheeks. Seeing him crying, you felt like crying too.

You didn't want to die, it was far too early. You had so much that you wanted to do, and now every dream of yours, every thought you had was taken from you. To be aware of the fact that you were never going to be able to do any of these, to know you were never going to make up for your mistakes, never get married, and maybe even have children hurt more than the wound that caused all of this.

And although you didn't have time for anything you wanted to do, there was one exception. There was one thing you could do, and it would be worth everything else.

"I have to tell you something." Your voice was more of a whisper, and you didn't think he had heard you. But he had. "Don't-" he said, unable to hold his tears. "Don't waste your breath now, you'll tell me when you're all better."

You bit your lip, you felt dizzy and knew it was... Close.

"Listen to me." You said, a little stronger this time. Was it selfish what you were doing? Telling him this now, right before you closed your eyes forever, wasn't it selfish? But you had to tell him, selfish or not, you couldn't hold it in. "Dazai-" you said, trying to hold yourself together, "I- I love you."

He hadn't said anything. You couldn't see it then, but it was because he was crying so hard, he was unable to speak. Your body was numb, and you couldn't feel his shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry it had to end like this."

He shook his head side to side, denying to acknowledge that you were slipping to unconsciousness, and he could do nothing to prevent it. "Where is Yosano?!" He screamed at Kunikida, who was watching you from a few meters away. He couldn't gather the courage to see you die.

"She's on her way, she's going to be here in a few minutes." But Kunikida wasn't sure if you even had a few minutes left, and the look he sent to Dazai told that to him too. To this, Dazai inhaled a sharp breath, one filled with worry. He knew if he was going to tell you his true feelings, this could be the last time. And he was tired, tired of acting around you, as he did with everyone else. You were so special to him and he just wanted to be himself around you. Now he didn't know if he was even going to see you again.

His tears slid down his cheek, a single drop touched your now pale face. "I love you too." He said finally, to that you smiled. "I love you- I love you so much. And I... I need you to stay alive, please (Y/N)! I need you to stay with me- as long as we'd like. I can't lose you, I can't lose you to death, to something I have wanted for so long but now... All I want is you."

He went on rambling, not even noticing your eyes were closed and that you were no longer conscious.

~~~

Dazai couldn't remember what happened that night, after his confession. He had only flashbacks of that night, Dazai remembered Kunikida ripping your then oddly heavy body away from his arms, yelling, trying to get you back. From him, from death.

He remembers sitting on the red-stained ground, sobbing, crying as he had never done before.

He remembers Kunikida, who was secretly crying too, trying to lift him to his legs, but Dazai didn't have the strength to stand up.

And now he was sitting at the office, his head buried in his hands, a deadly headache making him groan in pain. Atsumi had tried to approach him, asking him if he was okay, but it took one look from Dazai to send him back to where he was sitting. No one dared to draw closer to him, not when he was in this situation.

His bandages were soaked in blood, your blood, and he couldn't find it in himself to renew them. All he could do was to lift his head when he heard a door open, and every time it was someone else at the door, his body slumped back on the seat he was sitting, feeling even more hopeless.

It wasn't supposed to take this long, he knew how Yosano worked, and it never lasted this much.

So when she opened the door to her infirmary, covered in blood, he thought his heart was going to stop beating. The tired look on her face didn't tell him much either.

"She is sleeping." She said finally. "But she will be okay."

These words felt like heaven to him, and to everyone else that was in the buro. "She- she is alive?" Dazai finally broke the silence, and she shot him an annoyed look. "I just told you she is-" But before she even finished her sentence, a thump came from Dazai's direction, and for the first time in their lives, the armed detective agency witnessed Dazai passing out.

~~~

You slept for almost a week, though it felt like years to Dazai.

He was playing with his bandages when Kunikida entered the room in search of him. When Dazai looked at him with his now almost dead-looking brown eyes, Kunikida shuddered. "She's awake."

These words brought the light back in his eyes in almost an instant. Dazai stood up on his legs and practically ran out of the room.

He had not once gathered the courage to enter your room. He just couldn't bear the thought of seeing you in those covers would be the last time he would see you, and Dazai couldn't afford to have that sight of you to be the very last memory he had of you.

He loved you, but before that, you were his best friend. You were the person he would come to when he didn't feel good, the person he could just sit next to, not needing to say anything.

And embraced with the memories of you, he opened the door.

You were practically lost between the sheets, looked so small and so fragile, his heart ached with the sight.

When your eyes found him, a smile formed on your face. Dazai didn't know what to say, and it seemed like you didn't either. So after a few awkward seconds, you finally said, "I heard you fainted."

He was so tense that he couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled up inside him. He tried to suppress it, but he couldn't hold it even for a second as his laughter ringed inside the room.

To that, you started to laugh too. It started as a giggle but turned into laughter in merely seconds. When your laughs both finally died, an awkward feeling took over the room. You were both thinking about the same thing, and it just felt odd.

"Did you mean it?" You finally gathered your courage and asked. His chocolate brown eyes found yours, and for the first time, you could see his feelings in his eyes, you could understand what he was thinking.

You felt a warm sensation in your chest, making you all fuzzy and giddy. "I did mean it. Every single word." He didn't say it, but you knew he was asking you the same thing. "Me too." You answered his silent question, and he smiled. It was a sincere, beautiful smile.

[misslovasstuff]

Dazai’s ability

I’d like to discuss something concerning Dazai’s ability. Remember that time in Fifteen...

Rimbaud said this in the episode ‘Only a diamond can polish a diamond’, season three. 

First, let’s begin sating what we already know about Dazai’s ability.

1. Dazai’s ability is called “No longer human” 人間失格, (based on the real life counterpart’s most famous work).

2. His ability lets him completely nullify any supernatural ability by touch. It relies on skin contact and is always active. As such, he can nullify any ability even while restrained as soon as he touches the ability user.

We don’t know how he realized he was gifted or his first encounter with any gift. But we do know that Dazai’s ability is a rare one (confirmed even in Dead Apple). Truly, anyone can figure that Dazai himself is an ‘anti-gifted’ meaning that he is a weapon against all abilities. Dazai himself states that there are no exceptions to his ability, thus any that he can’t nullify, it’s not an ability at all. (Except the one of the book which is known to be immune to any ability or fire.)

 Secondly, let’s try and figure out Rimbaud’s words.

“True, his existence is heretical.”

For anyone whose first language isn’t english, here is a translation of ‘heretical’ according to cambridge dictionary;

opposite to or against the official or popular opinion, or showing no respect for the official opinion; (of a belief) against the principles of a particular religion.

it disagrees with beliefs that are generally accepted.

I think that Rimbaud wants to emphasize how much contradicting Dazai’s ability is. It’s ironic because itself it is an ability that cancels all other abilities. It comes against generality, it’s an opposite force. It stands alone against thousands and yet manages to win. 

“The ultimate anti-gifted, with no peer even in the west.”

Rimbaud, as a human who came from the west himself, acknowledges Dazai’s unique ability and claims that hardly is there anyone who can beat his ‘No longer human’ no matter how strong the opponent is. Then again, I’d like to explain ‘Ultimate’

1.being or happening at the end of a process; final.

2.being the best or most extreme example of its kind.

In our case, Rimbaud claims that there’s no equal to Dazai’s ability, meaning that; 1. there isn’t any ability like Dazai’s. Or 2. there are anti-gifted abilities, but probably not as effective or powerful as Dazai. Not to mention that the wielder is a man capable of great things, from solving cases and coming up with solutions to predicting major events and saving a whole city. This makes Dazai not only powerful, but extremely dangerous. Fortunetly, his intentions are pure, thus his ability does more good than bad. It’s in Dazai’s nature to guard and protect. He doesn’t accept the fact that he had saved the city multiple times using his ability and his skills of mind.However, that is when it comes to general good. How his ability links with his everlasting despair may be a topic for another time.

“The west?” 

Dazai questions. No wonder, he was just 15 by then, compared to Dazai now, the kid back then knew not as much about himself as he knows now. However, what’s going on in Dazai’s mind is whether the west knows about the existence of such ability? Does anyone with such nature of ability exists other than him? What does the west even have to do with this? 

“Still...”

The smirk on Rimbaud’s face grows larger. He knows something more than either us or Dazai knows. Maybe there’s a force that can oppose Dazai’s ability, or maybe there’s something about it that can cause its own destruction. Maybe he finds it entertaining that Dazai’s not aware of the power he holds, his uniqueness and how much the world needs him. Does his ability has to do something with him not being able to die?

I don’t know. I have some ideas in mind I can’t properly express but there’s something very important that we might be missing.

Dazai furrows his eyebrows, probably trying to question Rimbaud’s words, their meaning and his/west’s real intentions.

Fifteen holds a lot of information and I can’t properly analyze without reading the novel. Yes, the anime gives subtle hints that the wisest eyes can catch, but i order to get in depths, it’s very diificult to do that with only watching the anime.

This rises more questions that will hopefully be answered soon in ‘Storm bringer’.

Thanks for reading guys, and please if you have a theory of your own or something you’d like to add, don’t hesitate to reblog or leave a comment. 

[chocolate-parfait]

"Paranormal night? I don't think so!" - Ikemen Vampire (Isaac)

TW ; vomit , mature language

@sciamchyafterdusk requested:

I saw your post with the halloween propts also i dont really know if im requesting this right i just got tumblr but Mc and isaac from ikemen vampire for 21 and 26 🥺🍁 I just think it would be really funny because I doubt isaac would believe in ghost probably just a prank from dazzi and arthur but, I think he’d deny it but secretly not so secretly be a scaredy-cat (also male reader but ik most people have female mcs so you dont have to write it if you dont feel comfortable with that!)

Sassy!Male!MC because I'm kinda tired of writing for beautiful perfect ladies that go STOP TEASING ME TEEHEE, blush over nothing and sing like disney princesses. (watch me do exactly that in the next piece I write)

+it's not a negative thing or anything as I'm the first one who likes to write for that type of trope but,, variety is very much needed every once in a while

21. “Oh my gaud, I think the crystal ball is working. The spirits are telling me you’re a dumbass.”

26. “I dare you to go down there.”

Isaac had no idea why he ever thought this could have been a good idea in the first place. Sitting by a candlelit round table, Dazai, Arthur, you and your lover were staring at a crystal ball placed in the middle of the wooden surface, hands ceremoniously joined together to form a circle.

The room was growing colder by the minute, as the local paranormal enthusiast decided that a fire would scare the spirits away. Despite the polar temperatures, you managed to keep your hand warm enough to try and offer some kind of support to your partner, Isaac, whose left hand was as cold as ice and even slightly trembling, though you kept any type of comment to yourself as you knew he wouldn't be pleased to have a third bully team up against him.

Unfortunately for both of you, the two writers' analyzing eyes were vigilant even in the darkness of the room, and they simultaneously decided to poke fun at the scientist as they waited for something to happen.

"Ai-chan, are you scared?" The Japanese teasingly inquired. "C'mon old Newt! Shouldn't you believe in numbers and science a little bit more? I'm sure your gravitational equation will come to save you if a ghost tries strangling you!~" The other man said, obviously aware of the hypocrisy of his statement. "Would you look at that..! You're shaking like a leaf and your expression is quite the amusing one..." Arthur added, slightly leaning forward to get a better look at his face. "C'mon, stop bullying him, you two." You whispered with a scolding tone.

You didn't exactly believe in these things, and yet the slight creepiness of the whole atmosphere couldn't quite let your heart remain completely unmoved. Just as you turned your eyes back on the transparent sphere, Arthur straightened like a board and with utmost earnestness exclaimed:"I can feel a presence... Dear Lord, look behind you Isaac!!"

"W-WHAT IS IT-?!" The fragile man half screamed, throwing himself to your side and squeezing your arm tightly, as if scared a supernatural entity would grab him from behind and drag him to Hell. The moment the exclamation left your lover's lips your eyes flew to the back of the room, noting with your own two pupils that there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary there.

"Haa... you really are an impossible one Arthur." You said with a sigh while pinching the bridge of your nose. "I'm utterly serious when it comes to these things!" Said the English man with a slight pout marking his features. Then, an idea came to your mind.

The blue haired flirt always found an excuse to either tease you or your man, and a payback was the least you could do.

"Wait! Look at the sphere- no way... that's impossible..." You mumbled with an incredulous tone, making the best shocked expression you could manage. Three other pair of eyes moved to the crystal ball, focusing with all their might to try and see what you were talking about. "Do you see something??" Arthur's voice came out in a whisper, hushed and grave.

"Oh my gaud, I think the crystal ball is working. The spirits are telling me you’re a dumbass!"

"O-of course you didn't see anything- ghosts don't exist anyways..." Isaac whispered to himself, finally letting go of your arm and huffing in relief.

"MC!!! Take this seriously!!" Seeing the playboy so offended pleased you, and you responded with a hearty laugh. "Yeah well, I'm not really the biggest believer of these type of things. I'm still shocked the author of Sherlock Holmes is a fan of the occult, though!"

"Don't you dare mention that piece of trash in front of me!" Ah, there was his weakness. Whenever someone mentioned the detective, he'd lose his temper in the blink of an eye, becoming vulnerable to every type of teasing remark thrown his way. This was a tactic you had started using quite often whenever you wanted to help Isaac with all the mocking gibberish thrown his way.

"Now, now, let us not fight!" Dazai cut off your thoughts with his signature smile. "If we make too much noise, the oni might hear us and come our way"

"A what? ...can't you guys just stop with all the demon talk?" Isaac complained. "They clearly don't exist." He concluded.

"And even if they found us, would they stand a chance against three vampires? You should be scared of yourselves, not some stinky heap of darkness and evil. You can probably snap their necks like a twig with your superhuman strength." You added, looking at the two people sitting in front of you with narrowed eyes.

"Your words bring me an unimaginable amount of disapproval, MC" Did Arthur always need to have the last word on everything? "So do you." You remarked, finally standing up to make your way to the door, clearly done with the conversation.

Barely seconds after you stepped out in the hallway, you heard the sound of a chair sliding against the floor, followed by the familiar sound of shoes you had learnt to recognize anywhere.

"There's no way I'm staying in that room with those two tortures." Isaac scoffed. "I-I'd rather spend my time with you." His tone was shy, but when reaching for your hand, his touch was bold and yet gentle. At this display of cuteness, you couldn't help but softly press a kiss to his cheek before squeezing his hand in yours. "Shall we head back to your room then?" And as your question was answered with a nod, you two started walking down the dark hallway, hand in hand.

Newton's room was quite far from the small lounge you had borrowed for your spooky night, and minutes passed as a comfortable silence hung between the two of you, steps muffled by the red carpet of the hallway filling resonating softly in the empty corridor.

Letting your mind wander freely during the small walk, you went over the events of the day and the evening in particular. The firm words of scepticism you had thrown at Arthur's way suddenly tumbled on you all at once.

What if... what if something were to happen now? Wouldn't it be funny? How ironic would it be! It was a thought that made your heart race; the possibility of witnessing something uncommon, out of this world and probably life-threatening was something that had always attracted the human heart, and you certainly weren't an exception despite your earlier contradicting statement. Sure, you weighed rationalism way more than matters from the supernatural sphere, and yet you had already been proved wrong once when you arrived to the mansion. So maybe nothing was impossible, right..?

You unconsciously slowed your pace, as if wanting to increase the chances of seeing some kind of paranormal activity, and fortunately enough your twisted prayers were met in the strangest of ways.

Passing by the access to the staircase that took downstairs to the cellar, you heard the most curious of sounds. It wasn't perfectly audible from your position, but you could make out incoherent mumbling and sounds that were human but not quite. Seeing how you had stopped walking, Isaac called out to you. "MC..?" After a few seconds of unresponsiveness, you turned to him, curiosity and a hint of mischief in your excited orbs. "Isaac, I dare you to go down there.” His eyes widened in surprise, and before he knew what what happening, you were pushing his back down the steps, adding in a reassuring whisper:"Don't worry. I'm right behind you." But the way you gripped his shoulder didn't go unnoticed, and it reminded him of when he had done the same thing to you minutes prior. Perhaps, those words of encouragement served to placate your quivering spirits, now slaves to your immense curiosity. The scientist certainly couldn't blame you when it came to that, so he gulped down his fear and, in an spur of bold courage, made his way down the dark, old staircase.

What was driving him was possibly either the wish to appear a bit cooler in your eyes or his innate spirit of in inquiry, maybe both. Meanwhile the weird murmurs and rustles got stronger as you approached the end of the stairs, and with a heart thundering wildly in both of your chests, you peeked into the cold basement. What you saw was...

"What in God's name aRE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Theo, slumped against the floor next to Vincent and a pool of...liquids. The angel was whispering words in his brother's ear while drawing soothing circles with his hand on the man's back. Just as you and your lover stepped into the room a pair of blue eyes flew to your figures in a surprised manner, and the blonde's soft voice found its way to your ears.

"Can you guys... help me out?" He said, slipping his arm under Theo's armpit to try and raise him up while offering you an apologetic smile. "We went to the pub to celebrate my newest painting but I'm afraid he exaggerated a bit... He... Theo is so drunk he fell down the stairs"

At this phrase you burst out laughing and Isaac stifled a giggle at the idea of the gruff man tumbling down like a sack of potatoes, then nodded and moved to help the eldest Van Gogh. The moment your lover got next to to the now half standing drunk vampire, Theo emitted a guttural noise and painted his usual grey vest in a terrifying yellow-ish color that would've looked breathtaking on Vincent's canvas. If it hadn't been... vomit, that is.

As you saw the pink haired vampire stiffen up in disgust, you started laughing even harder, calming down ever so slightly once you remembered how horrible your loudness must feel to someone so hungover. After recovering some much needed air, you went to help the two porters who were struggling to open the door as Theo's wobbly legs threatened to make them all fly down the steps, a smile on your face.

The whole situation took a turn you certainly had never expected, but it satisfied you nonetheless. In such a big house, no moment was to be left to boredom, and you had learned to appreciate and love all these grownup babies so it now felt completely natural to spend a night like this. (One of them had captured your whole heart in particular)

...though you figured someone wasn't going to be equally happy with all the cleaning the next day.

[cyanoscarlet]

2020 writing review

Thanks for the tag, @gladiowrites​! (I know it’s not a tag, but this is fun to do lol)

I.. honestly wrote a lot this 2020. No kidding. Quarantine productivity was real, but so is residency languishing by the wayside while everyone was busy surviving and adjusting. I highly doubt 2021 will be the same, but I’ll always cherish 2020 just because of the writing and nothing else.

This is gonna be long.

FIRST CREATION + MOST RECENT CREATION OF 2020

8:15 am  - Final Fantasy XV. Lunafreya. February 2020. - First piece ever written for the year. - Intended to be a Luna-centric AU, in which the Nox Fleurets were deposed and she’s now a regular teacher. Never managed to write anything beyond that, though, because residency. (Back then, I didn’t know it was gonna be the beginning of the end, so I had hopes. Oh well.)

irresistible!, or the summer ramblings of nene yashiro and everything that followed - Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun. Nene, Hanako. March 2020. - First one published on AO3 for 2020 (yes, there’s a distinction). - If you think the title sounds familiar, you’re right.

versus

first yuletide - Final Fantasy XV. Nyx. December 2020. - Written for the FFXV Secret Santa event on Twitter. - Before y’all object and say what unwinding is, that’s an old fic uploaded late.

ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CREATIONS FROM 2020

Do I seriously have to choose? Omg.

take heart - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. Gods/Humans AU. - Discovered so much about myself writing this. Also (hopefully) I managed to get into Dazai’s headspace correctly. He’s an extremely difficult character to write, so finishing this brought so much gratification.

you don’t raise heroes, you raise sons - Final Fantasy VIII. Laguna, Squall. Post-canon. - Probably my most heartfelt work of the year- scratch that, ever. Also happy with how I just let myself go writing this and didn’t need to think twice.

A CREATION YOU’RE REALLY PROUD OF

oneiric moments (or, five nights with you) - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. - Written for the SKK Fic Exchange for Summer 2020. - Five interconnected fics. 18,985 words. - Might not be a big deal for others, but this was taxing because I don’t usually write long, multichaptered stuff. I got carried away, though. It ain’t as well-polished as my more recent stuff, but I’m proud of myself for pulling this off.

A NEW STYLE YOU TRIED THIS YEAR & A FIC THAT USES IT

I... don’t think I have tried anything of the sort. My repertoire is sorely limited compared to others, I’m afraid. I’d probably have an answer for “explored new themes,” but again, I’ve a limited arsenal, too, in that regard.

A CREATION THAT TOOK YOU FOREVER

all in a day’s work - Bungou Stray Dogs. Atsushi, Akutagawa. Cells at Work AU. - It’s still being written, with a lot of side stories planned but never drafted. - I fell out of love with BSD, recovered from that, then got busy with residency.

YOUR CREATION FROM 2020 THAT RECEIVED THE MOST NOTES KUDOS

Also take heart. While I am proud of it, I guess it hit the right spot for mainstream shippers, too, somewhat? My feelings about mainstream things have changed a lot because of things, but I am still happy.

A CREATION YOU THINK DESERVED MORE NOTES KUDOS

amīcitia - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai, Chuuya. Final Fantasy XV AU. - Petty indignancy for my self-indulgent baby aside, I’m also proud of how I wrote Dazai in this one, similar to take heart.  the fun they had - Bungou Stray Dogs. Kajii, Port Mafia Ensemble. - ... Guys. Please notice genfics.

A NEW FANDOM YOU JOINED AND A CREATION YOU MADE FOR IT

Everything I wrote for Bungou Stray Dogs. (I kid you not.)

If you want a single answer anyway:

on the flaming mountains - act-age. Chiyoko, Kei. Princess Iron Fan Arc. - arc words: “what shall i do with this ire?” - I wouldn’t really say I “left” the fandom, more like it fizzled out after Matsuki-sensei got arrested.

A CREATION YOU MADE THAT BREAKS YOUR HEART

a cycle of; - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. Medico-legal AU. - Written out of much anger and frustration over things. Also because this in itself was frustrating to write.

Also  you don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. Because no matter how much I hate my family at so many points in my life, I know I can’t truly hate them from the bottom of my heart. This fic is a reminder of that.

A SIMPLE CREATION THAT YOU REALLY LOVE

express delivery for love - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. Real World Quarantine AU. - It’s funny. It’s orthodox. It’s sweet. I don’t think it can get any better than that.

A CREATION THAT WAS INSPIRED BY ANOTHER ONE

rather be - Bungou Stray Dogs. Yosano. Pre-canon. - Inspired by yesterday is another world by @wctercress​ - The whole of primum non nocere, actually, but specifically this one, and the rest followed. - This is also my first BSD fic. Ever.

A FAVORITE CREATION CREATED BY SOMEONE ELSE

... You sure? There’s a lot, and this is just on the surface. (unleashes the proverbial waterfall)

The aforementioned yesterday is another world by @wctercress​

silencer and snow white days by EKmisao - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai, Chuuya. Dead Apple canon-divergent. - The aftermath of Dead Apple, in which one of two goes wrong. - They’re unrelated, I know. But they’re both sisters! Just trust me on this. - The proper entry for this would be silencer, but I can’t very well mention one without the other, so have both anyway. I read both only this year, after all. Waiting for Godot by @eternal-aegis​ - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai, Fyodor, Chuuya. Canon-divergent. - Amazing theme, amazing philosophy, amazing writing. It makes you think. It makes you analyze and explore. This writer definitely knows her stuff, and it shows. Catharsis by @gladiowrites​ - Final Fantasy VIII. Rinoa, Gen. Caraway. Post-canon. - The denouement to the Caraway family drama we all deserve. I love how Rinoa is presented in this fic. She’s a normal person who makes mistakes and learns her lessons. So is Fury. Burned bridges don’t always have to stay down, and this fic illustrates that wonderfully.

Culmination by @gladiowrites​ - Final Fantasy VIII. Squall, Rinoa. Post-canon. - We can’t all have happy endings. This fic also illustrates that very well. While I, a Squinoa fan, personally ascribe to the happy ending Squall and Rinoa must have had after the events of FF8, this fic is so compelling and grounded and reflective and I totally buy this. 

Here Without You by @muselover1901​ - Akagami no Shirayuki-hime. Zen/Shirayuki. Real world quarantine AU. - One of the sweetest stories I’ve ever read this year. I can definitely relate to a lot of things in this fic. I’ve been rereading all of Muse’s ANS stuff whenever I feel down, and they all hit the spot.

Savor The Moment by @joeys-piano​ - Bungou Stray Dogs. Oda. Pre-canon. - Yes, yes, YES. One of the best stories I’ve ever read this year, ever. (And I mean stories, not fanfics.) Great character study about a man named Oda and a day in his life and a page (or three) out of his book of relationships. The love poured into this is simply overflowing and precious. I’ve been following Joey since this fic was being written, and I’m so proud of him.

False Equivalences by @slowquotesquill - Dai Gyakuten Saiban. Asougi, Ryuunosuke. Fullmetal Alchemist AU. - This fic also! Oh, My Heart. The cynicism of a state alchemist and the optimism of a foreign doctor. It perfectly hits the spot for everything FMA, and we all know that SQQ’s Asouryuu fics are always to die for. It’s the ultimate combo.

The whole Promptober Leo/Will/Despair series by @eternal-aegis - Kekkai Sensen. Various themes, many of which are dark/mature. - I’ve said this with Waiting for Godot, and I’ll say it again: Aegis knows her stuff. This is her exploring further in that direction, and you can feel the improvement with every fic in the series. I really love how adventurous these stories are, and how much depth you can go with every one. Her characterization is layered and exquisite, and the underlying lore is well-thought-out. - tl;dr: B3 Goddess.

Predestined by Galkimasera - Final Fantasy VIII. Rinoa, Squall. Reverse/Fateswap AU. - A very well-written reverse AU! The circumstances of Squall and Rinoa in this ‘verse fit so well and are so well thought out. I love this AU so much, you don’t even know. It also fills my nostalgic shipper’s heart with much joy at seeing quality content in this Year of our Lord 2020.

For auld lang syne, my dear by @by-nina - Fullmetal Alchemist. Roy, Riza. Canon-compliant + post-canon. - Holiday feels, snapshots through time, and all over showing Roy and Riza’s budding relationship over the years. And it does remind me of a lot of the SKK fics I’ve written (thematic-wise). This was such a treat to read and to follow. All her FMA fics are. She does Royai so much justice. Am not yet finished reading smoke without fire, but I’ll get to that, too!

SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE CONTENT CREATORS FROM THIS YEAR

Everyone in the answer above. There’s honestly a whole boatload of more, but this is getting too long already lololol

(might edit this when I feel like it, tho!)

[uraharasandals]

hi i was hoping if you could do a reader x dazai fic where they date in the port mafia then work at the ADA together! thank you so much! 💞

Hi!  Thank you for requesting! The story was getting a bit long so I decided to just show their first interactions after being reconciled instead of working together. I hope you like it! 

(Also I haven’t used Tumblr since ages I have no idea how to navigate things whoops)

   It wasn’t easy being a spy, but somehow you’ve managed it and came out of it in one piece. Alive. Well, barely, considering the day you handed in your resignation letter you were shot in probably ten different places. Flesh wounds, but all the same, it was a near death, and they weren’t letting you off so easily.

  And apparently, more so today, because as you swung out of bed, the ghost of fiery pain shot up your back, where some lackey or another apparently decided it was a good idea to knock you out with a blow to the back of the neck, except they missed. So now you were left with crippling pain down the column of your spine, and by God did it hurt.

  It took about twenty minutes of wincing and gritting your teeth, all the while grasping the bedframe so hard your knuckles turned white, and stars erupting behind your eyelids, but eventually the pain subsided, and the ability to be able to breathe without a new jolt of pain was as much of a relief as a breath of fresh air after submerging in water. One of the training methods in the Special Ability Department, you recalled, for combatants.

  Combatants. The title caused a memory to surface; your colleague, a bespectacled and dodgy man by the name of Sakaguchi Ango. He was one of the government’s spies too. Where was he now? 

  The ten paces from your bed to the bathroom was enough for about a thousand possibilities to emerge. Shot. Killed. Tortured. Hung. No; they didn’t do that anymore. Too old-fashioned, apparently. But still a chance. Or he survived. Who knows? 

   What did it matter, anyways? 

   Not then, and certainly not now. Once you’ve reported back to the Department, you decided to quit, having had enough running errands for the government which was half-assed anyways. Thankfully, Taneda-san was understanding, and kind enough, to write you a reference for the Armed Detective Agency, ran by a former colleague of his who also served the government once-upon-a-time. You might find it quite suitable for you, he said.

   And so that was where you’d spent about half a year or so, fumbling with the ropes but slowly managing now. It was the next thing on the agenda too, after gulping down a cup of steaming black coffee, which you’d learnt in the mafia the best way to spring oneself straight into action. Boarding the train, milling amongst about a few hundred people in the subway station, before emerging and heading to the brown brick building.

   The normality of it all was honestly absurd.

   Just a few months ago, you were sitting in an office, acting second-in-command for one of the five Executives under Mori’s command, Ozaki Kouyou. Back then, the documents and lists detailing Port Mafia-owned warehouses, targets and whatever that needed to be done was the norm. Planning an assassination on someone, or taking stock of explosives in a warehouse, or riding the limousine with Kouyou to another meeting, was the norm. That was the pace of life, along with the discreet smuggling of information back to the government. 

   There was another thing that was the norm, you reflected as a hand grasped the shower knob, turning it almost absent-mindedly, allowing the shower of warm water cascade down your body, which reminded you of his touches. Stolen kisses behind closed doors, a brush of fingertips on skin during meetings, that knowing look across the room when it was time to report back to Mori. 

    It was probably the steam coming from the water, but nonetheless you could feel slight heat creeping up your cheeks as you relieve those memories, before deciding that scrubbing them away along with the lingering sleepiness was probably the best course of method. There was, after all, no point in thinking about the past. Anyone from the mafia was the enemy now, and he was no exception. You shouldn’t let your heart soften just because of one single man, and there was no way you were about to start. 

    Still…

    The relationship was nice while it lasted, no doubt, and you reflected upon this fact as you watch lemon-scented foam wash down the drain. But just before you were the target of everyone — well, nearly everyone’s — bullets, the young executive had disappeared. After the death of his best friend, or so it was rumoured, a man called Odasaku. You didn’t remember his actual name, he was referred to as such by too many people. That was probably one day before you handed in your resignation letter. Not that you meant for it to happen; that was pure circumstance. A short while before that, Sakaguchi Ango also disappeared. 

   Now, whether that was pure chance was another matter. All you knew was that you definitely did not plan on resigning in the midst of that chaos; for all you knew, that was probably fate playing games with you. Unfortunately, because of, ah, previous entanglements and relationships with Dazai, you had somehow became the centre focus of practically every die-hard mafiaso on that day you stood in front of Mori in his office, which was probably the reason why they were all so trigger-happy to send you off to an early grave. Not because of suspected disloyalty, though some might have came to that conclusion (obviously, those who had more brain-cells), but it was highly likely that they decided to shoot you due to having a relationship with the escaped Executive.

    Well, let them doubt and plot and think to their deaths all they want. Even I’m curious as to where that bastard is. 

     Anyways. There was no time to be wasted thinking of trivial things and driving oneself up walls speculating. You watched as the last remnants of water drip down to the marble tiles, before stepping out to the chilly autumn air and shivering in the cold. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you began to contemplate breakfast and what to wear for work.

     Trivial, daily things.

    “Good morning, everyone. " 

    “Oh, you’re finally here, ______.” Preoccupied with making sure the cups of coffee that you were carrying wouldn’t fall and splatter onto the sparkling tiles that Kunikida was so proud of, you only looked up when you heard his voice. 

    “What do you mean ‘finally’ - ” And that was when you see him. A shadow of your past, causing a shiver run down your spine that probably felt like seeing someone from the grave alive and walking. 

     Somehow, you had managed to set the container down on a nearby desk while attempting to regain your senses. The confusion was still clogging up your head, so you weren’t sure how you did that, plus you were still focused on him. His back was in front of you, so you couldn’t see his face, but you were sure. That dark and curly hair - 

      “_______? You okay?“ 

      “I - yeah, I’m fine.“ Shit. Unwanted memories flooded your mind, and you shook your head to clear them before clearing your throat, regaining your demeanor. "W-who is this?" 

      "A new recruit. He came under Taneda-san’s recommendations. The Director’s just introducing him to us.” Kunikida supplied. Indeed, he was talking to the Director, while Yosano-sensei was surveying him, a hand on her chin - deciding the best way to cut him up before healing him, maybe? -  Ranpo was making his way steadily through a bag of star-shaped candies, but you could see him analyzing the figure as well. You weren’t sure where Kenji was, but it didn’t really matter. “I’ll introduce him to you too.” He tapped the figure on the shoulder, who spun around with a cheery grin on his face - an expression that was more foreign than his presence in this office. “This is ______. They joined our organization earlier too, so you two might just get along." 

      If the mention of your name surprised him, Dazai didn’t betray any emotion. His eyes were observant, stopping and raking your face for a brief moment before his uncharacteristic grin appeared again. "I look forward to working with you, _____-kun*. Do teach me the ropes, would you?" 

     "Gladly,” You replied cooly, stepping forward and shaking his outstretched hand. Two could play this game, and it would do no one good if they knew you two were formerly, ah, associated. And if they knew his background and where he was from, well, let’s just say that Taneda-san made sure your references excluded your time in the Mafia. He had taken care to only mention your excellent results in the government (except that the Director was eventually informed, but by that time your work for the Agency was already top-notch), so you also took care to put your mafiaso background in the past. “I hope you find the Agency easy to adapt to, Dazai-san.” For effect, you squeezed his hand, and was satisfied to see a glimmer of surprise behind his otherwise immobile expression.

      “You guys know each other?” Yosano-sensei asked, surprised. You cursed her internally, but Dazai was quick to cover up. “No way,” Dazai said carelessly. “I’m sure ______-kun is just being friendly, right?" 

      "Of course!” You made sure your smile was more than a grimace. “Oh, Dazai-san, I didn’t get your portion of coffee. Do you want to come along? The cafe downstairs is amazing.” Before he could reply, you had already spun on your heel, heading for the stairs. 

      “What the hell are you doing here?” You hissed, shoving him up the brick wall in the alley right behind the ADA’s building.  You weren’t sure what led you to this violent outburst, but it didn’t matter; shock translated to anger, and here you were. “Missing for almost a year? Turning up here in this - this new get-up and just pretending nothing happened?" 

      "Why, ______, I would’ve thought you were glad to see me. Weren’t you happy your lovely boyfriend is still alive?"  Dazai lost his cheerful facade, and the man glaring down at you showed a sliver of the danger and hostility that formed his aura during his time in the mafia. His smirk was scornful, and the light had vanished from his eyes. "Well?” He prompted, and the anger fueling you left you; your clenched fists on his shirt eased and he leaned back against the wall. 

      “I don’t know about ‘boyfriend’.” Your emotions swirled within you, and the confusion that you had when you first saw him came back. The sudden disappearance of anger made you light-headed, and you stumbled; Dazai caught you. The rough bandages brushing against your skin made memories rush back, and you fought back a sob. “But I do know the bastard in front of me is my friend. And if you want to build a relationship from that, that would be great." 

     "I’m glad you still like me, _____.” The playfulness was apparent in his tone, despite the existing rough edge. “I would’ve committed suicide otherwise. How can I live without you?”

     "Don’t say that.“ His arms circled around your neck and you were glad; it allowed some distance but still intimacy. If he had hugged you around the waist you weren’t sure how you would respond. "I don’t want to hear you joking about your death anymore. Do you have any idea - " 

      "I do.” How quiet his voice was surprised you. “I’m really sorry, _______. I had to take care of something. But it’s alright now. I’m turning over a new leaf. The mafia is behind me. I’m done killing people. I’m done being Mori-san’s apprentice."  

      "I don’t care about any of that.” And you really didn’t. You had loved him when he was at his worst, in the mafia. Nothing would have surprised you, but you were happy that he decided to break free out of his own will. Spending half a year worrying whether he had died or not wasn’t easy, but now that he was back in front of you, you weren’t really concerned how he was. 

     To put it coarsely, you were just glad he was alive. 

     "Thank you, ______.“ His smell felt foreign, yet there was a feeling of returning home. You weren’t sure what happened, but tears were rolling down your cheeks and you felt ridiculously giddy; a sense of immense relief flooded your mind. You returned the hug hesitantly, and felt him murmur against your ear. "Thank you." 

 Bonus:

      "You two were gone pretty long." 

       "Yeah, we ran into the mafia halfway and spent some time knowing each other. Apparently we are a pretty good combination. Right, Dazai-san?" 

      "You got it, _____-kun! Oh, Kunikida-kun, the coffee downstairs is great! You should drink yours before it gets cold." 

      "You two what now?" 

      *so I decided to use the ��-kun’ honorific because that is applicable to both women and men. For men, it is a common honorific for those younger/close with them. ’-kun’ for women is used only when the individual is close with the addresser. In any case, this honorific shows intimacy so I had Dazai use it. And because Dazai is carelessly intimate with people (outwardly), I had the reader address him with ’-san’ rather than using equally careless honorifics. 

[pyrten]

DAZAI OSAMU : QUICK CHARACTER STUDY

(At 3 AM in the morning and that's why it's messy, all over the place and generally, shit.)

Majority of the characters in BSD are morally grey, Dazai included. I'm unable to categorise characters into good or evil, which is what makes BSD really nice to watch.  

Majority of the instances, whenever I have an opinion on someone like Dazai, it's mainly based on their actions. I'll make an exception for his case because I believe he speaks the truth sometimes. 

It's seriously difficult to believe what someone like him says. His weapon is his intellect and his tongue. He could say this and do that instead. Obviously he isn't good at combat, but he could say something and have you on the hook.

He's cunning, sly and in general: a liar (sometimes). As for psychological manipulation… well, it's not something to be looked down upon since it's in our everyday lives.

DARK ERA

He has a more serious aura and was far more suicidal compared to ADA Dazai. He barely flinched when a bullet grazed his cheek. 

I won't even sugarcoat the fact that Dazai is an asshole. 

The way he treated Akutagawa is wrong. The training may have made him resilient, but his mental health isn't in an okay shape. In the end, he even upped and left him without an explanation (although, I think Akutagawa has an idea of why he left).  

Remember when he fired at the GSS captain? If I didn't count wrong, it was 13 shots (my dude over here desecrating a corpse). 

(I couldn't find the GIF of him shooting the corpse, so this is as close as I can get)

He does poke fun at Chuuya, and you can perhaps say that he does some good (but we've only seen a single good deed so far…).

He recognized that Chuuya was being manipulated by the Sheep and in his own way gave him a push. There was the part* when Shirase was talking and it zoomed in on Dazai, who had a wary, analyzing look on him. 

It's clear that the Sheep is quite dependent on him. They believe that Chuuya will be there to save them whenever they fuck up (ex. crossing the river to steal booze, when they know it's near the PM HQ, in result, getting a few of their members captured). They came looking for him to put it simply, beat up and save their comrades, which points towards the fact that they are using him for his ability. 

Shirase also said:

"People who hold more cards than others have a responsibility. Fulfill your responsibility as the one with the trump card called an ability."*

Which again, further points towards the fact that they are using him for his ability and somewhat guilt tripping him. 

Dazai later adds his own input.

"Amusing. You guys are truly amusing. He's by far the strongest among you, but he's like a sheep being stared down by wolves." 

Called out. 

It then changes to show Chuuya's face. Honestly he looks on guard, and I think he knows what they're trying to do, but it's a can of worms he would rather not open, y' know?  

Dazai then later says once more when Shirase is trying to convince Chuuya to kick the PM's ass.

"Give it a rest. He has the freedom to choose how he uses his ability. Even a child would understand that. There's no argument." 

And as a final attempt to convince Chuuya, he pulls the old guilt trip card, which Dazai and Chuuya ignore. 

"Don't forget, Chuuya! The Sheep who took you in when you had no identity and nowhere to go! 

When all of this is happening, Dazai knew Chuuya was being manipulated, and he also watered the seed of doubt with his actions, and in the end the Sheep turned their backs on Chuuya, which led to Chuuya joining the Port Mafia. 

I can say this was a small good deed, pulling Chuuya out, but the choice was Chuuya's and he just gave a push. 

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

Dazai isn't a naturally kind and virtuous person, but he's trying, for Oda (oh boy).

The way he handled Kyoka's situation wasn't all rainbows and confetti. 

I have a feeling he's trying to look at the bigger picture, to save people (perhaps because he blames himself for Oda's death, but I'll set that aside temporarily due to the time), but his methods aren't... nice. Atsushi has gotten hurt multiple times, Akutagawa too. In some ways, I suppose I can understand some things are unavoidable, but still. 

Compared to how he treated Akutagawa, he's far better with Atsushi. He's treating him the way Oda treated him. 

Atsushi has a completely different mindset compared to Akutagawa. He's a selfless person, he fights injustice. If Dazai tried to treat him the way he treated Akutagawa, I can confirm that isn't gonna turn out good. 

Besides, he's trying to become a better person. That, and he owes Akutagawa an apology.

From this part onwards, these are all flash thoughts that I wrote quickly because I'm falling asleep by the minute.

FLASH THOUGHT #1 :

Now that's over with… I don't particularly have anything to add on. So I'm going to move onto… uh, how do I word this, facade?

I said above that his weapon is his intellect. It's clear that whatever he has on can be fake, or real. Y'know that goofy, playful Dazai we all know. 

He's probably able to control his every movement and actions. Like, I cannot imagine Dazai doing something ACCIDENTALLY. Imagine that, someone who can control his own heartbeat, doing something accidentally (unintentionally, he never meant to do it, yeah that would be surprising).

But then again he's human… despite being a strategic and tactical genius… so yes, him doing something on accident would be interesting to watch.

Now if he miscalculated or like mistaken, uh, like that time, with the hiker, BSD Season 3. Then, yes that's understandable. 

FLASH THOUGHT #2:

Mk… facade and accidents are covered… uh… I'll talk about the power he had when he was 14, Dark Era Dazai.

… He had enough sway in the mafia since he was 14 (correct me if I'm wrong). He was allowed to be the sole witness of the Boss's final wish. SOLE WITNESS. A young boy at the age of 14 was allowed to be the sole witness. 

He was considered to be the youngest executive in the Port Mafia. If so, then why didn't the other executives (during the reign of the Old Boss) fight over the choice to be the witness of the Boss's death other than Mori. Perhaps the Old Boss didn't have executives, but that's unlikely.  

Now, that's something.  

FLASH THOUGHT #3:

Talking about suicide… I think Dazai doesn't want to die, but he does. He's failed so many suicide attempts, some of them being sabotaged, but what about the others. 

Since Dazai didn't have anyone around his age constantly (save for Oda and Ango, but several years later… perhaps when he was 16, seeing how Oda and Dazai knew each other during the Dragon's Head Rush), he only had victories of his missions and such to comfort his loneliness.  

I think that it's practically ingrained in him. 

Dying means winning and losing. Your life is finished. 

If that's the case, dying would mean he lost (but won). It's conflicting and confusing as hell, I know ;-; . I'm trying to explain my thoughts the best I can - . 

When Chuuya came around, his loneliness was, um, calmed, a little. 

Oda died and gave him a reason to live.

I think he still feels a little lonely though.

That's the end. I'll be out like a light in about 3 mins so I'll just, drop a GIF and go before I start pressing anything on accident.

Yep, okay, bye bye.

oh, I forgot the hashtags, um .

Hashtags added.

Good night. :D

[chouetteffraie]

About BSD S3

Alternative title: Kenna talks about stuff literally nobody asked her to <3

So now that s3 is over and I’ve had a few days to breathe, I think I wanna say a thing or two about the season overall. Now, I’m not a meta writer, I’m not a person who can go in over analyzing everything perfectly- quite simply, I don’t have the brainpower to do that for too long. So rather than this being an analysis of everything and an objective evaluation of the quality of the season, this is largely an emotional response where I just talk about my experience with it. I’m not a critic- I don’t think I have that in my blood. I watch to enjoy, then reflect on what I did and didn’t enjoy, taking snippets and twisting them into something that might become deep and meaningful occasionally if it suits my writing. There’s nothing wrong with being a critical analyzer! We need you all in the fandom for all these fabulous metas and such <3 I just don’t think I’m the right gal for the job.

“So, Kenna, what is it you have to say?” Well, in the simplest of terms,

I really liked season 3.

“...wow. Groundbreaking.”

Now, let me explain myself. There are problems with season 3, as there are with most seasons, but I feel, overall, there were enough things that I liked about season 3 to keep the season in my favor.

I think my biggest criticism would have to be with pacing. The pacing  in this season was so off for me and can be described as sporadic at best. From backstories to character introductions to character re-introductions, there was so much that went by in a blur and so much that seemed to go on forever. My biggest complaint probably has to do with (yup, you guessed it) the adaptation of Fifteen.

Let me explain.

First of all, I think the complaints that Bones used Soukoku as ship bait have a sturdy foundation, and I’m not here to dispute that. As a Dazatsu main myself, I’m not gonna complain about loving scenes with your favorite ship in them- I would absolutely die if next season (hopefully there is a next season!) we got a three-episode plot revolving around Dazai and Atsushi. However, I just don’t think it fit in nicely with the rest of the series.

After all, it’s kind of unfortunate that we got 3 episodes of Soukoku’s backstory, and yet our protagonist only got 1/3 of an episode.

Maybe Fifteen would’ve stood better as an OVA, or maybe if it could’ve been shaved down to two episodes. Maybe if BSD had been given three more episodes for genuine content, things would’ve been better. I don’t know how possible any of these things would’ve been, but they’re ideas. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Fifteen overall. But I remember thinking that it seemed so out of place when I knew the chaotic arc that was coming. 

I’m not an avid manga reader, but I know enough to be able to say that the BSD manga has a lot of content, a lot of nuance, and a lot of personality. The manga is the source material and what got people so invested in the story. If there wasn’t an interest in the manga, would there even have been an anime adaptation? What I’m saying here is that staying true to the manga is a good rule of thumb, and while of course you won’t be able to translate everything into animation, it’s probably best to try and be as similar as possible with a story like BSD.

Manga readers ate up the story of BSD without being interrupted by Fifteen, because as far as I’m aware, Fifteen is fairly new? (Didn’t it come out around Dead Apple time? I’m not entirely sure, but it might’ve been.) And, unlike The Dark Era, the events of Fifteen didn’t have nearly as much of an impact on Dazai (that would later impact our protagonist- after all, how could he mentor Atsu if he never quit the mafia?). Fifteen was more Chuuya-centric in terms of future impact, which brings me to my next point.

Chuuya is a side character. I love him, honestly, and think he’s a great character, but he isn’t our main focus. This seems to be a problem that Bones has a lot: “forgetting” who their protagonist is. 

I can defend The Dark Era because of how it explains Dazai’s connection with the mafia and why he switched sides. Dazai is easier to get away with focusing on because he is a primary character, although not the protagonist, and probably has some of the most influence on our true protagonist out of all the characters we know. Chuuya....doesn’t. At least, not yet. His backstory, while interesting and fun to see, is inconsequential to where our protagonist is at right now in the story. In fact, I’m not even sure if Atsushi and Chuuya have interacted in the anime aside from that standoff in the hospital hallway- and even then, that was an illusion. While Fifteen gave us a glimpse to Dazai’s life in the mafia, it didn’t give us anything we didn’t already know other than how he met Chuuya, and how he met Chuuya didn’t impact his relationship much with him or explain why he hates him so much- they just kind of always did. (what would you call that? Anti-chemistry?) That means it also didn’t really impact the major decisions Dazai had to make to get to where he was when he found Atsushi- which is when he began to matter, because that’s when he started influencing the world of the protagonist who is supposed to drive our experience through the narrative.

Please note, this isn’t a hate on Soukoku, and if you like Fifteen, or thought it fit, or just liked it because it gave you such good SKK content, I’m happy for you! This is just a personal grudge I have with the series.

This is why Fifteen would’ve stood better as an OVA- it doesn’t have anything to do with the protagonist. A core purpose of the protagonist in any story is to make the narrative relevant. The events of a story are connected because they pertain to the protagonist. Let’s take the Hunger Games as an example. The events of the actual game don’t relate at all to the death of the Everdeen father, or the fact that Primrose Everdeen was selected, or the fact that a certain Everdeen was given a pin of a mockingjay. These are all important because they relate to our protagonist, Katniss. Her father dying made her have to step up inthe household and feel responsible for her mother and sister’s safety, which helped prompt her to volunteer as tribute. Her pin later became the symbol of a revolution, but only because it was hers. If our protagonist had been Peeta, Katniss’ backstory with her father and mother and sister wouldn’t matter to us because it wouldn’t be our protagonist’s concern.

So, why, then, did we get 3 episodes of Chuuya’s backstory and 10 minutes (not even) of Atsushi’s? Hell, we got more of Kyouka’s backstory than Atsushi’s, or at least a better buildup to it. We even got more content of Randou, a character they completely screwed up (and also didn’t really affect Atsushi). I know events are tied together and connected, but when trying to fit an arc like Cannibalism into 12 30-minute episodes, you’ve gotta decide what’s important and what’s not.

Bones, I feel, didn’t choose what was most important.

“Alright, Kenna, all you’ve done is complain. I thought you said you liked season 3?”

That’s the thing, though- I did.

I like the time they spent with Lucy and Kyouka’s hostile interactions. I liked the background they gave to certain characters (Gin, Kyouka, Atsu [even though we got so little], Katai [-ish]) plus we got more Fyodor content. Fitzgerald’s episode was really good, too! I’m a newly-fledged, softcore Fitzgerald stan. I think the last three episodes were pretty well put together, and I ADORED the final scene (no, not just for the Dazatsu content- although thank you for the food, Bones uwu).

Now, these are all little things, yeah, but I feel together they make up enough for Fifteen on my end. See, I’ve always thought BSD had pacing issues from season 1. It’s no news to me that they had trouble squeezing all the content in the episodes they were given, to be honest. If I separate Fifteen from the rest of the season, to me, it’s cardinal sin is pacing, and only pacing. The issues of Fifteen are plentiful, but it doesn’t seem fair to me (and for me, it’s more than ok if you disagree) to pile that all on to the rest of the episodes. Yeah, it was disappointing that we didn’t get as much Fyodor time, or Atsu backstory time, or whatever else we wanted. But to me, that’s okay. We still got the point of what’s going on- the city is in trouble, the worst is yet to come, and Atsushi and Akutagawa have a deal now.

Bungo Stray Dogs has always appealed to me because of its characters more than its story, I connected with the people, not the narrative. I still thoroughly enjoy the story, but I’m more interested in how the characters interact in general and how they operate as a team or in stressful situations. For that purpose, Bones provided. At least they did in my book, even if we didn’t get enough of who we wanted to see.

I have hope for next season, if there is one. I have hope that Bones will right their wrongs. I have hopes that they’ll fix their pacing a little bit. The manga has so much content to portray, though, that a certain pacing issue can be forgiven (like the ones I saw in s1 and s2.) And, because I love the characters, I’m willing to hold out for another potential season and see if they can fix it.

If you’re upset, you have every reason to be. But, though I have my complaints, I can’t say I’m too terribly disappointed. Maybe a little, but I still look forward to future content. I hope we get it soon, if at all.

(And, believe it or not, this is the shortened version of all my thoughts. Haha!)

[akutagawaprize]

No offence, but I feel as if in this chapter, the author got tired of this entire ark in general, as the entire situation was solved ridiculously fast. Now, I don't really understand Japanese, so this may not be accurate. But from what I see, both highly powerful opponents were ridiculously quickly subdued, and somehow Fitzgerald decided to side with the Mafia and the ADA for no reason. We didn't even get to know Fyodor's ability yet, and he's already defeated.

I, too, was disappointed in this chapter, but after collecting my thoughts, I decided that it wasn’t a bad way of ending this arc, if this indeed is the end. Sure it may have looked abrupt, but it could have been worse… Or so I like to tell myself.

(Warning: I try my best to be unbiased and objective but this may read like a lot of whining. Only proceed if you’re fine with that.)

The good:Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi; appearance of the rest of ADA and Port Mafia; Fitzgerald saving the day; Ango and his crew appearing; that not-so-subtle nod to Odasaku in the end

The “I don’t have much of a good or a bad opinion on this”:Shin soukoku new combo move;  Chuuya still in the book

The bad:Quick resolution to the arc; implied lobotomy(!?); Dazai and his keikaku doori antics again; strange sense of déjà vu since they used practically same buildup as the last arc, but now it’s the remix version

First of all, I’ll just have to throw out my wildest (not really) theory out here: Fyodor is still the “final boss”. Come on, he gets the moniker “The Demon” and gets jailed off like that? No, no. It doesn’t make sense at all, at least to me. So my guess is that Agatha and the Order of the Clock Tower will swoop in to try and mess with the Agency, but when they’re on the verge of defeat, Fyodor steps in and uses this chance to strike ADA for himself. So uh Guild Arc 2.0. Or something along those lines. This could’ve been a test drive. Or he could have other Rats in Russia waiting for orders in case there’s a Phase II. Call me optimistic, but that’s what I would like to believe.

We jailbreak from Azkaban and invade Ministry of Magic now.

There really isn’t much to say about Dazai proving himself a formidable chessmaster again, other than I called it on an earlier ask. I just hope I’m not the only one tired of him being right all the damn time. No one can be that all-seeing…

People keep asking about Chuuya. Some were disappointed he only had one panel, some were rejoicing because it was “in-character” he stayed because he enjoyed fighting. But Ranpo kinda confirmed Chuuya stayed not because he wanted to beat people, but because it’s faster that way than using his brains? He’s not dumb, but come on, why would he prolong his stay if at that time his current concern was to protect Mori/kill off Fukuzawa? So yeah, his fate doesn’t really interest me, because I’ve always thought he was someone who is too popular to die… Not important, because sheesh let’s face it, Asagiri hasn’t really fleshed him out yet and doesn’t seem to have the intention of wanting to anytime soon. (Light novel soon please? Or a backstory in the movie if they wanna get dat yen lmao)

I’m more curious about how Ranpo got out, because the last time Poe trapped him, he was transported back with Yosano after solving the case. Was there some unwritten rule that a person can be selective with who he brings back with him? I hope we get clarifications on this, I’m a sucker when it comes to analyzing abilities and their corresponding limits and restrictions. It bugs me that in BSD there are a lot of additions and contradictions when it comes to abilities and that they come up only when it’s convenient to the plot. (For example, anyone can activate Doppo Poetry as long as they have a page with them. I don’t think it’s been mentioned before, but anyway it bothered me for some reason.)

Another big thing this chapter: Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi. I got an ask talking specifically about this, so I’ll write a post about that later. For now, I can just say that it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to Akutagawa after the “You got stronger” shoulder pat. I’m not expecting him to turn over a new leaf, now full of hope and vigor for life, but he’s trying and he might come up with his own concluson to an unanswered question in his heart: “What is my life worth living for?”

Oh and Atsushi being able to rip out abilities… Imagine if Wolverine can No Longer Human enemies… I don’t like this at all, but what can you do, he’s the protagonist anyway so he gets a pass.So for now I’ll be bumping Atsushi to No. 2 of the most powerful known Ability users second only to Lovecraft. Granted, he had to team up with Akutagawa to come up with this Ultimate Dark Claw thing, but still. I guess I just like balance. In any case, one can argue that shin soukoku needs to grow stronger if they want to fend off the coming Europeans.

Food for thought: If Dazai can nullify abilities and Atsushi can also cancel out abilities with tiger claws, will they cause a singularity if they got into a serious fight?

Hmm.

Fitzgerald! He didn’t care about Fyodor getting his leftover assets actually, but remember, it was Fyodor who crashed Moby Dick. He also reasoned that while he has no interest in whatever he’s “left” behind, he didn’t want a rat using his leftover resources. In short, he did it to spite the Russian. So while I can respect that, I was still hoping that instead of Dazai coming up with the deal (how did he even know Fitz acquired Eyes of God?), it would be Katai who would call this to attention. After all, as someone who is knowledgeable about technology and electronics, he could have picked up information on Eckleburg. Of course, there’s a fair bit of chance that he heard about it from Ranpo or Atsushi (they were there when Alcott asked for help) but there was no explanation for how Dazai came to that knowledge. Ah. Well.

I mean, until now we don’t know how Natsume saved Katai.

Dazai then went on to say that Fitzgerald will declare war on them again so this + the yacht are the last friendly gestures they’re going to get from the Guild. Wonder what happens to Lucy and Poe now…

They totally could have asked for a Special Ability Permit in exchange for their services but okay Richard!

The victory afterparty. Kunikida and Katai were nowhere to be seen, so was Yosano. You know who else we haven’t seen? Hawthorne and Katsura. With Katsura, he could have been helped by Kunikida… who I believe is still mourning the deaths of the innocent children… They should really address that next chapter. Or whatever. As for our Winter Soldier, he’s either roaming around aimlessly or he was captured. Who knows? We don’t know how he got mind-controlled either (another Rat? or suffered a similar fate with Ivan…). But if his goal was to heal Mitchell, then Yosano is the perfect answer.

What else? Oh! Fuku wasn’t in the party too right? Meeting up with Natsume and Mori? I don’t know…  As you can see, I come up with various scenarios and get them wrong 75% of the time. I was being dramatic too over Elise even though I knew she’d come back, but… This was fast. Glad to see her again though!

Oops. I rambled enough. Those were my thoughts, more or less. As I’ve said, it was a fairly standard BSD chapter. Disappointing, but still has a lot of loose ends which can be neatly tied up in upcoming chapters. I know a lot of people liked how this chapter ended, but… I’m not one of them, I’m afraid. I hope to be more enthusiastic about future chapters.

[mythril-mine]

001- Bungou Stray Dogs | 002- Soukoku | 003- Chuuya ( and Dazai? ) I want to know your answers to both | 004- BSD + Your choice

Ah, thank you for sending an ask, Haru~! Sorry it took me a couple days to answer everything!! I also got a little wordy where perhaps I had no business being on an ask meme, but I have So Many Feelings about Bungou Stray Dogs!! In fact, it’s under a cut because it got SO LONG. ;; So please pardon that~ Hopefully my rambling makes some modicum of sense. Here we go!!

001 | Bungou Stray Dogs

Favorite character: Chuuya! (And it’s going to show in these answers, so get ready!)

Least Favorite character: Le…mons?

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Soukoku, Shin-Soukoku, AtsuLucy, DazAtsu (sometimes), RamPoe (it was hard to narrow it down to five, I’m very much a multi-shipper for this fandom > ~

Character I find most attractive: ???? Chuuya is the most beautiful character second only to Kouyou, if I saw Kouyou in person I would tear up and be compelled to give her nine dollars.

Character I would marry: ………………? OdaSaku, I guess….?

Character I would be best friends with: I’d have a lot to bond with Poe and Alcott over hahah (I also want to be friends with Chuuya though I’m not even going to lie. I talk about this with friends a lot when the subject of ‘anime husband’ comes up. I don’t want to date Chuuya, I want to be his wingman and give him a high-five when things go well. I’d also want to be friends with Atsushi, Lucy, and Tanizaki~ and Gin!)

A random thought: I really want to talk about Fyodor but none of these questions really apply to him… ;; Second Random Thought: I think Kunikida/Atsushi would be surprisingly pure…?

An unpopular opinion: I’m not sure what’s considered ‘unpopular’ in this fandom anymore but I think Chuuya deserves some of the page time he’s started to get. ;; There’s a lot that can be done with his character with what’s been laid out so far, and if they’re choosing to make use of that as a reaction to his popularity, that’s okay! I’m sure they’ll do a good job with it! (Again is this unpopular? I don’t know because Chuuya seems to be slaughtering popularity polls lately, but I’ve seen him getting some flack on tumblr as well. Similarly I don’t think it’s so much that people dislike KunikiDazai so much as Chuuya is … disproportionately popular and the time people can contribute to fan works is limited.)

My canon OTP: There are no actual ‘canon’ pairings in BSD so far (I mean, if we don’t count Chuuya/Wine, Chuuya/His Hat, and Fitzgerald/Money, as you can see I take things Very Seriously). The ones I think are most heavily implied are Higuchi/Akutagawa (which I wouldn’t call my ‘canon OTP’ by any means because although I love both Higuchi and Akutagawa and want them to be happy he’s… not good for her currently), Mitchell/Hawthorne, and then Lucy —> Atsushi and Kyouka —> Atsushi. And… honestly Poe —> Rampo!? (While I highly doubt that was Asagiri’s intention, he has the same kind of fixation on Rampo that the girls do on Atsushi, pfft.) Of these RamPoe is clearly the Best but I’m very partial to AtsuLucy~

Non-canon OTP: soukokusoukokusoukokusoukokusoukokusoukoku

Most badass character: 560% Chuuya. (Do I need to explain why? I mean… look at him. /Jazz Hands)

Pairing I am not a fan of: Okay, I lied, there is one canon pairing and it’s Tanizaki/Naomi and I Am Not A Fan (I actually really like both of these characters in their own right and I’m even a fan of ships centered around devotion just please put them Very Ver Far Away from each other, they are siblings.)

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I always really hesitated to say ‘screw up’ with a series that’s ongoing — I think it’s unfair to the creators to call that when perhaps they’ve treated a character a certain way or put them in a certain scenario towards an end that would be compelling and make sense that we just haven’t seen yet. That said, of course I can’t pick just one, so here we go. 

Per Chuuya being my favorite character, I’m not 110% satisfied with how they’re handling him so far? I feel his character’s been shown to be a little inconsistent with regard to his abilities (both his actual Ability and also his faculties re: instincts, intelligence, and so on — even a bit of his personality when it gets boiled down to nothing but ‘Damn You Dazai!’ for comedic effect when he’s been hinted at being a much more complex person, as most people are). In part I think this also has to do with the fact that… Chuuya’s not… really a main character in anyway. They’re probably beginning to give him more of the spotlight simply because he’s such a fan-favorite, but — story wise, it doesn’t necessarily make sense to be their priority. (Even though /I/ want to see him treated consistently and given more on-screen depth and back story, and perhaps we’ll get that now that he’s featuring more!)

I think covering Dazai’s suicide-mania is important and I don’t even necessarily hate the light-hearted tone its given (I, myself, often cope with very self-deprecating humor), but I do dislike how often it’s treated completely flippantly. I could write a dissertation about why but… perhaps I shouldn’t have to.

Atsushi, Atsushi, Atsushi. Good lord. Not only is this kid screwed up from a physically and mentally absuve, isolated past, but the way he’s treated in the story, is just… He’s supposed to be our main character, and he has a lot of moments where he truly shines!! Atsushi is a wonderful shounen-type protag, especially in the climax of the Fitzgerald arc with how he gets through to Akutagawa, but damn is he inconsistent? Just when we think he’s gotten some character growth he goes right back to being a coward — and not that anybody can change overnight but the way it’s handled with him I feel is just… so stilted? Same for how development of his abilities is treated. We’re told it’s because of Fukuzawa’s ability, but that’s off screen and confusing for a reader. I… have extremely mixed feelings about how the chapter with his headmaster was handled, and what that means for his character and development as well. And — as much as I love sweet, pure, cinnamon roll Atsushi… I find myself thinking consistently “this scene would be more compelling for me if Dazai were actually the main character.” And I have very complicated feelings about Dazai, so that says something.

Favourite Friendship: I don’t think I can pick just one, actually…! Atsushi and Lucy’s friendship means a lot to me but actually I am HERE for Yosano and Rampo as well as Yosano with Kunikida. As much as I’m a Port Mafioso for life I do hope we see more of their interactions in the future. Also, nobody in the PM are really…. ‘friends,’ that I can tell? Though I want to see more Black Lizard interactions and also them interacting with Chuuya. And also Kouyou interacting with Chuuya! (Atsushi and Akutagwa are NOT friends but I’d like to see that…)

Character I want to adopt or be adopted by: I’m older than almost all of these characters so I guess I want to adopt Akutagawa and give him actual love and support because goddamn buddy you had it rough with Dazai as your mentor… ;w; (I’d be okay being adopted by Fukuzawa too, though!!)

002 | Soukoku

When or if I started shipping it. Hmm… definitely by Chapter 31 but I was curious about it when Chuuya first showed up, I think. I was ready for KunikiDazai, who are currently partners, so the whole ‘old partners’ thing piqued my interest. Chuuya comes off so much at first as ‘jilted, abandoned lover’ that I immediately want to know why or at least explore it in fandom.

My thoughts: THIS QUESTION IS SO BROAD, I could write a whole dissertation about this! How it’s great and interesting and also terrible and vague, how do I do the CliffsNotes version… we know so so so little about what’s implied to have been a terrifying and powerful partnership between Dazai and Chuuya. There’s just so much /potential/ there for how and why they came to know each other so well, for how Chuuya came to trust Dazai with his life despite knowing what a terrible prankster and liar his ex-partner is and how they two came to hate each other and bicker (or were they always this way?), and there’s of course the question of what lies in store for them in the future that makes the idea of the two of them together so fascinating to me. It’s an interesting ship for me especially because prior to BSD I’d be extremely hard-pressed to come up with a “hate ship” that I actually enjoyed. I tend to be more drawn to ships that showcase a typical ‘healthy’ relationship or positive emotions, signs of devotion, and so on — life’s angsty enough as it is, I use fandom and media to get away from that. But somehow that potential and both the humor and sadness of how Dazai and Chuuya interact and think of each other, and if they could reconcile (or not!), has been so compelling for me as a fan who likes to analyze and read into things too deeply. Soukoku is honestly just a really fun sandbox!

What makes me happy about them: Canonically, the humor in how they bicker and how frankly badass they are when they work together. In fandom, all the potential I mentioned earlier for them to reconcile, and also the idea of stolen warm moments and shenanigans together training and growing up in the Mafia, pre-Dark Era.

What makes me sad about them: How on earth did you guys hurt each other so bad!? What did you do?

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Hmm… it’s hard for me to think of anything? I haven’t read anything in a while but when I first got into BSD it kind of drove me crazy that the entire fandom just collectively… made Chuuya French? Or Half-French. It’s not even a head-canon I’d be against, necessarily, I just didn’t get it, even with the actual author being something of a Francophile. (I’d be more interested to see that detail worked into his character.)

Things I look for in fanfic: Adhering to how they are in canon, hate and all, but analyzing in what ways they navigate around that to both be beneficial to one another and eventually even enjoy each other’s company. And the hurt/comfort thing. Also, Chuuya being intelligent in his own right! I mentioned earlier that the manga is kind of inconstant about this but I like the idea that Chuuya is not just brawn and I like when fic explores that in how he handles Dazai. Also I approve strongly of people covering Dazai being TERRIBLE and how he makes up for that — or doesn’t, and why.

My kinks: what. ….them both being… happy… together??????

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I think Dazai needs LESS VIOLENCE in his life but if Kunikida can set that aspect aside I think they’d be good together. (I also think Atsushi would be good for Dazai but it needs to be Just So… imbalance in power in a relationship that you sometimes see with mentors and mentees can not always be good for those involved /coughDaAkucough). For Chuuya I’m … not really sure. I think TaChuu is really cute and I’m on the fence about KouChuu? I see Kouyou as more an elder-sister or even Mother figure to Chuuya. based on how Mori was to Dazai since That One Chapter Cover is all we have to go on for Chuuya’s past and I am HERE for that type of interaction 560% and not really romantic-OTP about it. But to be fair she’s only four years his senior and they’d be quite the Power Couple, literally.

My happily ever after for them: They reconcile and talk out whatever it was they did to hurt each other, and recognize that they’re both hecked up but maybe they can be slightly less hecked up together if they try to understand one another instead of just insta-bickering. (They still bicker constantly, of course, but it’s a little more good natured, now.) Also, Chuuya joins Dazai at the ADA, where Fukuzawa can help him have better control of his power. His newfound lack of dependence on Dazai in that regard is one less thing for him to feel resentful over and can help him move past it. (That said I don’t think in any way this would be End Game for BSD and if you want to know my feelings on THAT I’d be happy to oblige — this is just what I think would be a sweet ‘happily ever after’ from where they’ve been.)

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you

Chuuya

How I feel about this character: I think about Chuuya every day and get emotional/angry about him almost as often, I Love Nakahara Chuuya a Lot. (Compared to Dazai’s analysis down below this probably seems really shallow but it’s more like I love Chuuya unconditionally? There’s nothing about his character I dislike.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Dazai. And, to much much lesser degrees: Tachihara. I’m not opposed to ChuuAku in any way I just… can’t think on my own what they can do for each other? and haven’t seen much fan work around it. I’m also here for ChuuAtsu but they’ve … never interacted, so.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: KouChuu!! I love Kouyou and I love the potential for family-style shenanigans with Chuuya!

My unpopular opinion about this character: Well, I guess I mentioned it above — I get why people don’t understand why he’s popular. /I/ don’t understand why he’s popular and I love him to hell and back, but — I think he deserves it. He’s spunky, sassy, badass as heck, incredibly well-dressed, appealing and compelling. And he has so much potential.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want Chuuya’s backstory so badly!

My het ship: I can’t think of one?

My fem/slash ship: Soukoku

My OTP: Still Soukoku!?

My OT3: I could get behind Chuuya/Dazai/Atsushi or Chuuya/Dazai/Akutagawa or honestly all four.

My cross over ship: I don’t really have any but I played with a Tatara from K recently and their interaction was cute…

My kink: ??????????? Chuuya… smiling and…. not getting into a drunken stupor over Dazai????

A head cannon fact: Chuuya is Always Ready to Fight but he actually also likes ‘softer’ things like music and poetry quite well (they pair well with a nice glass of wine, after all). When not on the clock he dabbles in poetry and writing his own song lyrics (that, of course, would come out something like Darkness My Sorrow) and will practice singing them softly to himself, but although he’s not the nervous type he is way too embarrassed for anyone to know about this. It doesn’t fit his Big Bad Mafia image. Dazai is the only one who knows about this even a little bit, as some of their strategies are based on poems he either showed him when they were younger or things they co-wrote together while bored. (Another head-canon, because I’m weak – Chuuya knows his way around make-up, thanks to Kouyou, and because he’s all about looking Great regardless of whether it’s something ‘traditionally’ girly like that flowery hat he saw in the window in BSD Wan! He doesn’t wear makeup much though because he doesn’t think it fits his Big Bad Mafia image either, nor does he think he needs it.)  

My Gender Bend: Again I’m not entirely sure what this question means in this context? Like… is it how I think he’d look if he identified/was assigned another gender? Because I think he’d look… pretty much the same… appearance doesn’t signify gender in most ways… If it’s like, gender bending head canons from what we’re given in the series though I like the nb/transboy head canon for Chuuya, I think that’s a fair analysis in a lot of ways and valuable to explore in fandom/fiction.

Dazai

How I feel about this character: One time @annalaflame made the horrible mistake while we were in the parking lot at the end of the night, about to go our separate ways, of asking me “gin, do you actually like Dazai?” and she got to spend the next forty-five minutes in the front seat of my car as I sat there and explained how I felt about him.

The thing with Dazai is… he’s an asshole. In so many ways. I often compare him to Izaya from Durarara!! — which Haru, I realize that won’t mean much to you, but Izaya is like … he’s irredeemable to me? As a villain I love to hate him, because he’s horrible and manipulative and always seems to get his way but it’s to no end other than his character alignment being Chaotic Asshole.  Dazai, on the other hand…

Dazai is … such a multifaceted character. He’s horrible to people (and animals!) and manipulative and always one step ahead and is honestly, kind of a sociopath. He has no qualms at the idea of horrible things happening to his enemies be it by his hand or that of another, and he doesn’t seem to mind how his awful actions can affect those closest to him and at times even finds it humorous. Notice I didn’t say he doesn’t care — because I think he does, and this is where Dazai is redeemable to me.

I think, for someone so hyper-intelligent, scheming, calculating — Dazai was, and perhaps still is, a little lost. We see this in his lack of self-preservation and suicide mania, both in Dark Era and present, but also in the front he puts on, his bravado. He was something of a loose canon in Dark Era, very dangerous, and OdaSaku (from what I understand, having read summaries and watched the anime but not read the book itself) acted as his conscious and, with his death, became a guiding light leading Dazai towards being a better person by the work he — through a veil of On Brand complaints — now willingly does with the Armed Detective Agency.

Additionally, after the Guild arc, Hirotsu asks Dazai how long he’d been planning for Shin-Soukoku to happen, and Dazai answers from the Very Moment he met Atsushi. How can that be, if Dazai wasn’t acutely aware of exactly how he mis-treated Akutagawa as his now abandoned mentee, if that wasn’t something rather always on his mind? Dazai may not ‘care’ about people in the sense of always wanting to be helpful to them especially if he doesn’t get anything out of it — and in some ways this may be a product of his (lack of) upbringing and environment. But I do think he cares in the sense of perhaps, even retroactively, wanting to do ‘right’ now — and he’s still figuring that out for himself and how he does that. And that’s one of the things I find so compelling about a character that rubbed me such the wrong way at first — he may not be doing a good job, but Dazai is trying, in his own way. This is reinforced by how he treats Atsushi during our protag’s lowest moments of self-loathing and uncertainty, how he speaks to Kyouka when she’s given up, how he confronts Fyodor and defies him even in the face of their maniacally evil similarities. He’s a man that’s been terrible all his life, but is trying to be perhaps not good, but better. [Insert gif of Mal Reynolds from Firefly saying “well, I’m alright.”]

Anyway that got super long because I could go on about him for days, but basically I think Dazai is incredibly fascinating and easily one of the most compelling characters in the series, if you can get past the humor given to his suicide mania. But — even that is something that’s relatable to a number of people, which makes his character that near always has the upper hand in a situation very interesting to watch as he too grows and learns (even if he can be annoying too~).

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Chuuya! Kunikida, Atsushi (sometimes), OdaZai (sometimes)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: DaAku!! (T_T) I want to see them work stuff out. DazAtsu, too, always. Atsushi’s been a good influence on him. Also, the Buraiha trio was so good. (Also… maybe it’s just that I want Yosano to get more development as I keep mentioning her, but… I want to see her interact with Dazai more?)

My unpopular opinion about this character: I think his suicide-mania is important to consider and explore (I want to clarify though that I do hate how flippantly the series treats it, which is probably actually a popular opinion.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I Really Really Really want the ADA to comment on afore-mentioned suicide-mania in a way that’s actually positive!? Like give this guy a support group, god. Yes, he drives everyone away and they don’t really owe it to him, but come on…

My het ship: I don’t think I really have anyone for Dazai either, actually…

My fem/slash ship: Soukoku?

My OTP: Still Soukoku, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

My OT3: Buraiha trio~

My cross over ship: Jury’s out on this, Dazai’s a hard one.

My kink: ???????????????????????? Actually my one fantasy of fantasies for Dazai was that I wanted to SEE HIM GET TAKEN DOWN A PEG because he was too ‘always right’ but then the manga happened and I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE HIM FALL LIKE THAT…. (Yeah hi I don’t really have ‘kinks’ really just… things I’d derive satisfaction out of seeing in canon RIP)

A head cannon fact: Actually this is sort of more soukoku-related than anything, but when they were kids and Dazai was still trying to figure out what exactly he was missing in order to look for it in order to be interested in continuing to shuffle along this mortal coil, he kind of voiced some of that personal angst to Chuuya while they were hanging out all partnered-up and Chuuya just … didn’t get it. It was not really in Chuuya’s wheelhouse to even consider wanting to die and he didn’t exactly… mock Dazai about it but brushed it off rather rudely without trying to understand it because from his perspective it was ridiculous. Cue ‘bandage-freak’ and ‘suicide maniac!’ insults. And Dazai was, understandably, hurt and insulted. But of course, being who he is he couldn’t show that and laughed it off with bravado as well, but it caused him to sink lower at the time and while he doesn’t really care because his capacity to feel things like that is abnormal, it was the major thing that really sparked some of the visceral resentment for Chuuya he seems to have in canon.

My gender bend: Same confusion on the question as with Chuuya. That said, Emil’s Single Dad AU has SLAYED me and I like their interpretation of trans!Dazai. I’ve also thought about the possibility of perhaps nb Dazai in general, in part because of his personal pronoun? But I don’t have the knowledge of Japanese culture in regard to non-binary genders to really say if that’s a fair analysis, since ‘watashi’ can also just be used when speaking slightly more formally.

004 | BSD + Your Choice

BSD + Fandom of my choice, hmm? I don’t know if these are really ‘crossover OTPs’ so much as just Imagine, If You Will, Come With Me On this Journey…. Chris and Kunikida having to deal with Rayflo and Dazai.