#Alice wu gulliver

[hexy-lynesdein]

“Alice has a crush on every Coven of Chaos women,” I say into the mic. And the crowd boos me. Ashamed, I turn around to walk off the stage. “No, she's right.” A voice cuts from the back of the crowd. I turned back to see who it was.

It’s Ali Ahn herself.

[five-milfs-and-a-twink]

Billy to his five moms: I’m trying to prepare for a first date and I’m so nervous, any tips?

Lilia: make sure to dress well and make a good first impression

Alice: holding the door for your date goes a long way

Rio: yes! Hold the door

Rio: rip the door off its hinges. Hold it up over your head to assert dominance.

Lilia: Rio no-

Agatha: no wait let her finish

Billy: …

[incorrectagathaallalongquotes]

Alice: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Jen: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Lilia: Death is a social construct.

Agatha: And hot as Hell.

[sporkarts]

actually i think Agatha making her coven worse people is the best outcome. bonus points if they're all actually toeing the line of morally grey and good when she recruits them. i think they're all killers and they hate themselves for it until they meet Agatha who's a killer and loves herself for it. thinking about alice's curse causing a spell to backfire. she's standing there covered in her coven's blood, absolutely shell shocked over the fact that she's 'a protection witch, she was supposed to protect them, not tear them apart.' thinking about jen selling snake oil to people who are sick, knowing it'll only aid their passing and there's not much more she can (or care) to do to help. thinking about lilia looking into peoples eyes and telling them exactly how they will die knowing there's nothing they can do about it. if we get a season 2 i hope agatha drags the coven down to her level, i hope they all descend down the spiral staircase of grey morality right into villainy. i need her to make them worse

[jenniferoksana]

The Coven, if they learned about the What If version of Agatha:

Alice: None of us are even a little surprised.

Jen: We are, but only that this Agatha didn't immediately go and punch Rio in the face. Both for revenge and as a sex thing.

Lilia: Also the implications of what this means for Agatha's general abilities in this universe are worrisome.

Billy: I think you're all overreacting, we haven't even seen Agatha since we all watched that.

Alice: Oh, God, you're right. Oh. Oh GOD.

Billy: Should we go check on her?

Lilia: No, Teenager, we should not. She took that footage with her.

Billy: And?

Jen: No one is brave enough to see if Agatha's using it to meticulously plot her own ascent to Celestial or if she just finally came too many times watching herself demand everyone kneel and needed to sleep it off.

Billy: I hate you all and I hate that you're right even more.

[fallenfawnsworld]

Agatha: Alice, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Alice: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later

Agatha: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Rio

Alice: Wait- Agatha, no-

[alittlewitchyone]

Merry Christmas, have some Christmas alignment charts (if there are ones for other December holidays, gimmie)

[incorrect-agatha]

[hermslore]

AGATHA ALL ALONG TWEETS

[lanfear-is-my-darkmistress]

Can someone please write a Agatha x Scarlet Witch! reader x Rio fic where reader is the Scarlet Witch and not Wanda but she doesn't know it yet. (No Westview Hex or anything like that) Where instead of Billy making the Witch's Road, Reader unknowingly did after being pulled into singing The Ballad by Agatha who's just looking to siphoning more power from other witches. Reader is just looking for a coven to teach her magic after being promised by Agatha to find her one.

[azaleasallalong]

okay i'm finishing up the second (and admittedly best) part of my christmas oneshot !! should i publish it on christmas eve or christmas day? also comment or idk let me know if you want to be tagged when i post the chapter !! (edit: it is finished and HERE IS THE LINK)

[hexy-lynesdein]

Alice: If a beautiful woman disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles.

Lilia: Well, maybe you should have principles.

Alice: You're right, maybe I should.

[cassiebones]

Hear me out: modern!Au Vidarkness getting really competitive about gingerbread houses but for Rio it's just a real turn on to see Agatha in the zone

Additionally: Coven of Chaos coming over and Jen and Agatha having a real freakn all out battle about who can host it better each year

My ears are WIDE OPEN for this.

Jen and Agatha being neighbors and constantly trying to outdo each other like Martha May and Betty Lou Who. Their electric bills are sky high when Christmas comes around, but it's okay because, to Agatha, the cost is more than worth it to outshine stupid Jennifer Kale.

Rio just finds her competitiveness super hot.

And yes the gingerbread houses! That's the only aspect of Christmas where Rio really tries to outshine her wife. Agatha can have her Christmas lights displays and catered Christmas parties, but she gets a real kick out of planning her gingerbread masterpieces every single year, outshining Agatha every single time.

Agatha kind of lets her, though. I mean, not really, because her competitive spirit really won't allow her to do anything half-assed, but she doesn't try nearly as hard with gingerbread as she does with her lights. Her houses are super cute and surrounded by gingerbread creatures and trees and shit, but once Rio made an entire goddamn gingerbread metropolis and Agatha was super turned on by the effort.

Rio loves to see all the effort Agatha puts into holiday shit, though. She starts decorating the second Thanksgiving is over. Literally. 12:01 AM, the day after Thanksgiving, it looks like Christmas has thrown up in their house. Rio doesn't even know where she got this Christmas sweater with the skulls or how she even came to be wearing it, but she's not mad about it.

The only thing Agatha sucks at when it comes to Christmas? Wrapping gifts. More tape ends up around her fingers than on the actual gift and she goes through, like, six dispensers before she's even got all of Nicky's gifts wrapped.

Rio has had to take over in recent years because otherwise their tape bill will cost more than the electric bill. That's okay, though. She actually likes wrapping gifts. It's soothing in a way. And it allows Agatha to pay attention to more important things - like outdoing Jennifer Kale's holiday party by hiring fire-eaters, jugglers, and Mariah fucking Carey.

(She had to get Nicky in on this because it's low-key a Make-A-Wish thing, but it was for the greater good [defeating Jen Kale])

Rio and Alice just watch their wives fight over Christmas, passing a bottle of tequila back and forth as they get absolutely smashed the night before Christmas. It's the best entertainment for Rio since the Black Plague.

bonus: every single year, either Jen or Agatha convinces Lilia to dress up as Santa Claus - fat belly, beard, and all - with Billy and Alice as her elves. Every. Single. Year.

[incorrectagathaallalongquotes]

Alice: So that’s my plan.

Rio: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Alice: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Rio: It fucking sucks.

Alice: That’s not constructive criticism.

[evesfallen]

MAIDEN MOTHER CRONE ; CHAPTER THREE

an agatha all along twine fan game.

summary: desperate to purge your body of the poison, you embark deeper into the beach house to seek out a cure.

author’s note: holy this took a while to finish because of finals week but huzzah it’s here! thank you so much for all the support!!

link here to play!