#Against-text heacanon

[idv-news-boi]

Unexpected ask but any heacanons about Lau x Exe/Rue?

// Can I do both? Actually no, I’ll do both/ih

Laurence x Exe

Spamming the “FLIRT” button as a nutshell.

Lots of flirting, lots of pick up lines. And if Laurence has free time, it can take more than 8 hours of conversation- They probably can’t get over each other./ih

Besides talking in person, Laurence also likes writing Exe letters, (or some text messages if it’s in modern AU)

First kinds of affection would be hug from behind, pats on the shoulder or back, tracing other’s cheek, and ruffling the hair.

Besides calling him handsome, Laurence just tends to spam the nickname “dove” on this man-

They go to beach dates,,, Laurence didn’t use the excuse of seeing Exe in a swimsuit, because is more like he wants to do those cheesy beach walks with him and do water gun fights djhdhdhdhdhdh-

Exe is one of the people Laurence can allow to touch his ink-like tattoos on his arm.

The blondie once asked if he can touch the diamond on his chest, but after learning that it’s actually a sensitive part, he became a bit more caring with Exe. Probably trying his best to not touch his chest a lot(also because he feels like he would sin in terms of boundary etiquette you know, my boi is not a pervert/ih)

Despite being a survivor-hunter couple, Laurence would still find the idea of being chased by a handsome man in such dangerous intent very hot- would still flirt with the masked man during their chases with lack of shame and more cheesiness…. X’D

And sometimes, the Reporter would ask if Exe can tie him more tightly(because he likes it when the other goes rough on his torso if possible-/ih). But it tends to lead Exe to not do so, so more pouty Laurence as outcome djdjndndnsn

Laurence always leans his chin on top of Exe’s shoulder whenever they take a selfie(it’s for wallpaper purposes of course),, probably because Exe is taller and the camera lense just doesn’t seem to reach both of their faces,,, 🤭

Laurence definitely has a phone while being in the manor- I don’t know about Exe having one too, but Laurence has a blue wallpaper on the lock screen. And once the Home Screen is on, there’s the picture of them during a date or when they were chilling together,,, <333

Takes months for Laurence to realize he hasn’t kissed Exe yet if they were dating for a while- he probably enjoys spending time with him too much to realize that they can move to the next phase if they’re comfortable to/ih

And once they got their first kiss, Laurence probably became a bit too obsessed with the kisses,,, that their kiss would usually last longer than 5 minutes(just because the boi keeps pulling Exe back into the kiss until he looks dazed-)

Laurence probably nervous smiling when seeing Exe opening his arms for him for cuddles- like, he loves cuddles- but he doesn’t want to end up falling asleep,,,

(and imagine him running as Exe tries to pin him against the wall for a short cuddle session the Reporter is trying to avoid so bad, for the sake of his continuous pile of work djdjdjjd)

Laurence x Rue

It can be a ship! My personal preference is platonic, too~! ùwú

Laurence is a polite boi,,, despite that Rue already has a bodyguard to help around, the blondie would pull chairs for her to seat, open doors for her, hold hands if necessary in very crowded areas, and firm bonk anyone who stares at her with sussy energy-

Like, is just his old-fashioned nature! You have to be super respectful in the dates if you want the lady to be comfortable with you,,, /ih

Laurence just caressing Rue’s hair whenever they’re chilling,,,,- and does the little twirling on the long strands with his fingers carefully.

The first kinds of affection would always be small kisses on the knuckles, holding hands, short hugs that don’t touch chest, and brushing back hair behind the ear.

This gentleman here would take the opportunity if he’s allowed to help her dress up in pretty outfits- and sometimes, there would be times Rue gets dressed in 1920’s dress vibes- hope you don’t mind the feathers as accessory, girl,,,/ih

Seeing Rue so pretty and vibrant in the clothes would sometimes make him want to invite her own a dance while listening to some jazz rhythm. If Rue doesn’t like dancing jazz, oh well,,,, hdhdhdhdh- she will at least have to endure for 2 minutes and Laurence will let her be after 🤭

Laurence sometimes gives the nickname to Rue “darling”. And thanks to Kitty’s forms of nicknames to people, he got inspired to call her “Ruru” at times djdjdjjdjdjd

Like Exe, he’s so silly- but he’s also her silly man :DD

The moments of flirting would be often be few times or regularly- because it’s either he flirts or talks a lot about many other things with Rue as she listens hehe~

Laurence is both supportive with Exe and Rue. So if Rue needs a vacation, he encourages her to have one! If she doesn’t know how to ask, she can help her write a letter or plan the start of the discussion,,, UvÙ

I can imagine Laurence ordering like his usual McDonald’s orders once in a weekend when visiting Rue- Like, he can make his own salads on his own- but is never the same when he makes the chicken nuggets himself! Rue is probably almost a fast food worker thanks to that/ih X’D

Laurence loves fluttering Rue with compliments,,, even at a big amount- if they’re very close, he may or may not get too cuddly with her djdjdjdj

[hexonthepeach]

i just love lore so is there any background info or heacanons about the ncta organization you think is cool and would like the share with the class?

i obviously really love this kind of ask because i can unleash my headcanons like they aren't the deeply intricated stuff i have written stressing me out so thank you for asking!

(here's my notes i made on my phone over the last few weeks, some vague spoilers for wips and future works)

i have a pet theory it's been normalized that most modern spy works outside of hyperfictionalized superhero-adjacent stuff like Bourne, Bond, and M:I return to this era because our current media has an easier time talking about Russia and communism being the greatest evil rather than reflecting on Western imperialist and colonialist devastation in the global south

background/inspo/setting

the timeline in this AU is nebulous and jumps around a bit and no one really ages (maybe they're vampires?) but i'm keeping it limited to alternate versions of the 60s-90s based on the fact that this was the time of peak cold war era spy fiction and that's what i know best

other inspirational texts besides Mission: Impossible and the wide range of spy fiction and old school TV are Venture Bros., Ed Brubaker's work on Captain America (Marvel's attempts at spy stuff in general really), The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015), Atomic Blonde (2017), and a few more

the NCTA building is located somewhere in the Virginia side of the DMV. most of the agents have permanent residency in these areas or adjacent to them. the institutional cover is Neotech Industries which specializes in government-contracted tech advancement projects and has a full legal wing dedicated to institutional reform and emerging markets. many of the employees have no idea what they do but it's very dry and boring in a pre-internet age way and of course allows them special access to US intelligence networks. like the IMF in Mission: Impossible they're a multinational project mostly working against rich, evil, and powerful influences in global politics with a fierce interest in minimizing human costs and bettering the world in secret. aka the author wishes to make this spy fantasy not a spy fact

pretty much all SM groups exist in this AU and the original NCTA was started by my favorite 2nd gen group who you'll probably be able to guess easily but will be introduced in the Yuta installment. they're a shadow organization now that 127 has taken over but are still very much active. they're already name-dropped in some of my wips but expect to hear about Diamante, Exile, Artemis, and a few others.

section V

fun fact: the NCTA lacks fem agents because they are all actively recruited by Artemis, a rival/reluctant ally org of all-women agents. Black Widow but based because I love ggs. it's common knowledge they've infiltrated the agency but it's allowed to both supply counter-intel (Section V's responsibility) as well as keep the peace. one (or maybe more?) of the neos gets a dedicated romance with a rival agent in their installment and I'm looking forward to giving a peek inside that institution, especially wrt aespa's role/lore

speaking of future WIPs I think the one I'm looking forward to the most is Section V. I wanted to make an A-Team style ragtag group of misfits who also happen to be incredibly good at what they do. They're an independent wing of the NCTA who run counterintelligence and agency security and go out in the field as a team or as counsel with other agents for high-stakes operations

In lieu of any details here's their trope alignments and what I've constructed based on their existing personas:

Kun [Diplomacy] - as mentioned in D&S is Director of Internal Security so 2nd in command to the Director. He provides operational oversight but like Taeyong is an experienced active field agent that will participate in missions as an Ace Pilot/Mentor. Perpetually sighing at everyone but especially his team. I will write y/n with him eventually as he deserves but Ten will have to be involved in some capacity

Ten [Stealth] is the agency's top spy and responsible for NCTA training protocol. He's a Black Widow type with a troubled past but also The Heart/Team Mom of the group. Most likely to use lethal force in combat so rightly feared by everyone in the team and the agency with the exception of the Directors. Trained Johnny and a few of the other agents (amongst other things) and never lets them forget it

Winwin [Diplomacy] is the Face of the group and the one most in the public eye. He's there to provide cover/legitimacy for operations needing access to elite institutions or to play roles such as a wealthy buyer. Very shy and reserved when he's not playing a part but intelligent and knowledgeable and worldly. Also in the vein of Mr. T absolutely terrified of flying.

Xiaojun [Stealth] is Kun's right hand and the Brains of the op and computing/cryptography expert. He's expected to do more field ops as part of the younger trio and is fully capable but is more dedicated to eye-in-the-sky technology and providing direction and information. The Lancer to Yangyang's Hero, he tries to keep the impulsivity of the younger agents in check while constantly being steamrolled by them.

Hendery [Combat] is the technical/weapons/demolitions expert of the group. Goofy, sweet personality but most likely to do the most damage in the shortest amount of time, by accident or not. Acts as The Heavy with a heart of gold and Yangyang's field partner and is the glue keeping the younger trio together. Comic relief as usual but also extremely reliable and kind and gets along well with non-Section agents. Most often deployed as Winwin's bodyguard in public-facing ops but absolutely useless with women (in a fun way)

As regards sub-units I have a personal comfort hardline policy on writing certain Dream members T-rated-only (Renjun, Chenle, Jisung) so future wips are a bit out except for them working with older agents. however my next big WIP in the vein of D&S is the story of how Mark gets recruited into the agency by Haechan's partner and ruins his life (literally) before they eventually become best frenemys. I'm not going to let on who wins y/n's heart in that one except that the love triangle in this one will not end with an OT3 (unlike a few others) and the loser will get his own one-shot to make up for it

Yangyang [combat] is Ten's understudy/apprentice and the group wildcard. If this were a TV show he'd be the main character/new guy (yeah you know my bias now) who is always getting into trouble and somehow slipping out of it. Wants badly to be an international man of mystery but no one takes him seriously. Personality quirk is always saying what no one else in their right mind would say aloud, and usually at the wrong time.

Didi line will have their own dedicated series because I love them and their chaotic gamer energy and would like to throw them against an enemy spy or spies that would toy with them with a comedy angle while the older agents have to help them find their groove

Project: DREAM

You'll meet more Dream members but they're all apprenticed to older agents or working specialized roles within the agency at current writing. Their program is important because they're NCTA's attempt to build agents from the ground up, providing advanced covers while crosstraining them in intelligence roles. so I've approached them more like child superheroes than the others with double lives within double lives. For 5Dream specifically:

Jaemin is Doyoung’s intern learning legal and financial (corporate espionage)

Jisung is Taeyong's leadership intern and personal assistant/bodyguard

Renjun is the Q character supporting Research under Section V oversight and working directly with field agents to provide weaponry and spytech

Chenle is working in medical which is a part of Research along with Renjun, doubling as a combat medic and agent health assessor

Jeno is partnered with Chenle currently (you'll meet him in D&S follow-up) but has been cycled through multiple roles and trainings previously for field agent advancement under Mark and Haechan

They've all survived placements with semi-retired agents and agents (getting paired with mentors to put the fear of God into them), as well as working with newer recruits in basic field training.

rookies

i have plans for the Rookies even though I've made Sungtaro into the surveillance team, but definitely will find a place for them once I actually have time to watch their content on Viki and especially if they debut. What can I say, Shohei has my attention as a big ol' goth boi with a government assigned eagle persona. He better be in NCT 2023 (hopefully later rather than sooner with this fucked up winter schedule) and I need more interactions with him and Johnny stat

thanks again for the ask and hope you have an excellent holiday break and new year

[randallcollective]

lake!!! (for the post you just reblogged, lol)

favorite thing about them

lake is just absolutely bursting with everything. She’s so passionate!! so strong-willed! so enamored with every single thing about the world despite all the hurt that she’s endured. And that’s not an easy thing to do. I love everything about them, but that’s for sure my favorite thing

least favorite thing about them

Nothing. their flaws don’t really bother me I just think they’re funny. Like the fact that she sees herself on equal ground with people both younger and older than her, which means that lake can assert herself against asshole adults but also has no problem punching a child in the face.

favorite line

"hey, jerk! whats the deal with your electric map?" IDK something about the delivery of this line makes it really funny to me. also, “wow, fitting in. what a gift”

brOTP

her relationship with alan dracula is so sweet :,) he was her first real friend. Jesse is great, but he was really obnoxious when they first met. and while I think the fact that they both challenged each other was very important, Alan Dracula was the one who kind of weakened her defenses toward companionship after like two months straight of running and paranoia. Lake really needed someone she could be comfortable around and didn’t feel pressured by, And that was Alan Dracula

” you’re not my pet, you’re my friend“ 🥺

(id also love to see her hang out with tulip more)

OTP

jesslake. The willpower it took for me not to also put this as my brotp. They’re just good

nOTP

I can make up a whole bunch of pairings that wouldn’t work for them but I would feel equally indifferent to any So I don’t think they count

Unpopular opinion

I think I only have popular, good opinions about her.

Random heacanon

1.) she wears a bonnet to bed so that her short, pointy needle hair doesn’t shred up the bedding

2.) lake reads better backwards than frontwards since all text in the mirror world was backwards. sort of a learning curve for them. Not like they can’t do it but it Takes getting used to

song i associate with them

drawing a blank sorry. i dont think i listen to the sorts of songs thatd remind me of them

favorite picture of them

my icon. its a really good face

WAIT

THIS ONE by jessie wong!!!!(storyboard artist on IT)

[parvuls]

i tried to headcanon about sex and ended up with 1.5k words of commentfic

warning: nsfw discussion. also warning: i like to discuss my headcanons in writing even if no one cares.

as you know (and if not, seriously, what r u even doing here) i am obsessed with the boys' first summer. and once i started envisioning the delightful awkward chaos that are their first times, i also tried to make sense of their sexual development timeline.

THE FACTS:

huddle 3 (spoiler!) contains an anal scene that apparently takes place at providence during their first summer

bitty only visited providence once that summer

for no more than a week

after having seen jack in person only once (1) since the graduation kiss.

so obviously, i told myself -- here are the two options: a) huddles are not canon, and ngozi inserted that scene during the summer for no particular reason [but then why mention its timing at all?]. or, b) the boys moved far faster than i would otherwise headcanon for them.

but, ALSO FACTS:

bitty has no sexual or romantic experience

jack's sexual experience with men is limited at worst and just a really long time ago at best

they're both disgusting hopeless romantics who are exactly the type of couple to be into shit like candlelight and rose petals and freakin' elvis crooning in the background (can you tell i'm not a romantic person in my personal sex life? do people still listen to elvis?)

and, just to push this post further into the nsfw category, MORE FACTS:

anal sex is such a delicate, elaborate process

i am a sucker for the realistic!sex trope

it's like totally not exaggerated to have sex three or four times a day the first week you're in a relationship. especially if you've been waiting to be alone together for two months. and are young and horny.

so this leaves us with heacanon A (huddle is not canon compliant) and heacanon B (huddle is canon).

HEADCANON A:

they 'kiss a bunch and shit' in madison (thanks lardo!). they also tentatively make it to third base (i mean, i did say they were horny). i covered this bit in fic.

i personally do not believe in the skype sex headcanon pre-year 3 because i think they'd be too awkward for it before actually having had enough sex (it is, in fact, pretty awkward), but more power to anyone who does. i definitely believe there was some suggestive texting between july 4th and providence. both boys blushed like tomatoes during this.

i'd say providence started from where they left off (frottage and handjobs) and slowly developed into a lot of oral from both parties (their love for this act also features in huddle 3). if this was a typical college first relationship i'd say they lingered at this stage for longer, but because they had a week straight of private time and also knew they'd be doing long distance, there was probably a bit of really tentative fingering thrown there towards the end of the week. maybe intercrural, although i wonder which one of them would think of it at that stage.

ha, now i'm thinking about bitty waking jack up on his 25th birthday and throwing out some super cheesy line about giving him a birthday present, red-faced but determined, and then trying to go down on him for the first time. i'm now also thinking about it being a total flawed mess. i'm sorry, i can't help the realistic kink!!!

anyway. then there's year 3. i kinda feel like they were securely intimate before thanksgiving and coming out to smh, so they probably tried anal sometime between august and november during one of bitty's visits. maybe even relatively early on (again, horny and doing long distance). mid-september, maybe? the french flashcards weekend was september 13rd, that totally checks out.

personally, i always headcanon it as a complete disaster. to get more detailed, i think bitty would insist on bottoming the first time (lbh, bitty comes from a pretty biased background and probably didn't have a lot of in depth conversations about 'roles' in gay sex before, and also probably feels like he's got something to 'prove' as a gay man), but he's a nervous wreck and just the stretching hurts a lot more than he thought it would because he can't relax, and it hurting means he definitely can't relax, and jack's shaking because, well, bitty, but also because bitty doesn't seem to be enjoying himself and this wasn't what jack wanted -- but bitty's insisting he doesn't want to stop. anyway, jack tries to do it but just the first penetration hurts bitty too much and they break it off and then there's, like, three hours of cuddling and petting and really honest, intense conversation and some super intimate mutual handjobs at the end. but no anal. they'll get there.

if we're even more detailed, i think they get there first with jack bottoming. he's (probably) done it before, knows what to expect, is a lot calmer with bitty being in control of the pace. it goes great. there are candles and rose petals and elvis and they stare meaningfully into each other's eyes. you get the gist.

next time (a few weeks later? bitty's next visit?) they try bitty bottoming again. they go a lot slower. there's a lot more laughter and the fingering part takes, like, an hour and a half. bitty's having a great time. jack is having a great time (taking care! of bitty! who's enjoying himself! it's the best). the sex itself is a little stop and go but ultimately great.

then there's skype sex. poor chowder across the hall. i hope they've got good soundproofing.

'but!' you say, if any of you read all the way to this part, 'what about huddle 3???'. well --

HEADCANON B

everything goes pretty much the same except a lot faster, and so a lot more awkwardly and with a lot more talking thrown in (these boys talk. a lot. and if they want to get from zero sex ever to anal in a week, they'll have to be very very open and honest. also, the sex itself is probably a little less technically good than headcanon A because they don't really know each other's bodies, but it's just as intimate and emotional and fun).

so let's say they have five days together (august 2-6). first day is making out against the front door (they missed each other, okay?) and the frottage and handjobs as previously mentioned. multiple times, probably. when bitty gets there; after dinner; before sleep (plus, first blowjob - jack takes his time worshipping bitty); in the middle of the night (bitty wakes up and jack is pressed up against him and --).

second day is jack's birthday and bitty's first time giving a blowjob, as detailed in A4. they probably do birthday stuff around town during the day and bitty attempts oral once again sometime in the evening (this time it's much smoother). when they go to bed that night bitty takes a deep breath and tells jack that he wants to try 'full sex'. it's a little because it's jack's birthday and bitty thinks it'd be romantic, and a lot because he's unsure of when they'll see each other next and wants to try it before school and the hockey season fill their calendars. jack is wide-eyed and fumbly and tries to simultaneously say that any sex is full sex (thanks shitty!) and that they don't have to go so fast and also convey that he totally, totally wants to do that with bitty but he just wants it to be really good. most of it comes out as: "ah... uhhh???" and a lot of blinking.

but they do try it. it goes as detailed above in A6, i.e. not well. afterwards, there's the same amount of cuddling and talking deep into the night and they both emerge from that experience a lot more confident in each other and in their bodies around each other.

on the third day jack wakes up before bitty and lies there staring at the ceiling and thinking, and when bitty wakes up groggy and cute jack says, in his best hockey captain voice, "we should try it the other way around", less like he's suggesting a sexual act and more like he's thinking of a hockey strategy. good thing bitty really likes him just the way he is. they do that, and it goes as described in A7, i.e. pretty damn well. it makes them feel super clingy and in love for the rest of the day and there's more frottage against the kitchen counter after bitty feeds jack pie and that night bitty tries bottoming again. we've established that it goes much better that time.

and, finally, on the fourth day they have the huddle 3 sex scene (it includes rimming). its tone would have to shift a little to fit in this timeline but i really did my best here.

on the fifth day there's sleepy morning groping and then oral in the shower and then the drive back to samwell. they're happy. they're in love. they're gonna get married (not now, but i just felt like mentioning it). they're gonna get much better at the whole sex thing that year.

the skype sex still takes awhile. and it’s definitely bitty’s idea. that boy knows his way around a camera.

:)

[lightninginabottle0613]

could u do m!au hc’s on arya and dany being best friends while gendry is like “i love u two but pls stop setting things on fire” bc i imagine arya and dany as chaotic besties: pranking people, going to protests, setting things on fire, starting fights with assholes who are being sexist, etc. so like gendry arya dany friendship sort of but also gendrya dating?

i’m sorry this took so long, i’m always incapable of thinking about literally anything else during the days leading up to posting a new story lol. 

this prompt has gotten no easier over time, turns out!! but i’m here to give it my best shot

🐉 arya x dany friendship + gendrya heacanons 🐉

so i think if arya and gendry are five years apart, arya and dany are maybe ... three years apart?

dany is the New Kid who just transferred from essos 

i thought long and hard about how exactly they meet, and now i can’t stop thinking about them meeting in high school detention

arya is a freshman, and she’s in for skipping art class (a pseudo canon parallel to her skipping her sewing lessons?? idk y’all)

dany is a senior, and she’s in because she will not stop - despite being reprimanded several times - bringing her bearded dragons to school with her

arya thinks she is/they are the absolute coolest ever, & they’re inseparable from then on

i like thinking of arya and dany as definite rebels w a cause 

like ‘fuck authority,’ but also ‘let’s go sit with that girl who’s all by herself in the cafeteria’

dany’s guardian is her asshole older brother, and arya’s parents are very traditional, so they’re always sneaking out to cause mischief

dany helps arya TP joffrey baratheon’s house after how badly he treated sansa

(even though arya and sansa are still not the best of friends)

dany is a little bit of a pyro, and arya is a lot a bit complicit in helping her burn down viserys’ shed

gendry is already in university at this point, so he wakes up on many a morning to videos of arya and dany’s latest escapades

he always shakes his head in exasperation and sends a casual ‘you’re gonna get yourself killed one of these days’ text

(in private he is always a little bit sad over missing his best friend, but he always perks back up when arya tells him that he’s still her favorite)

(meanwhile, on the other end of those video messages, dany spends lots of time helping arya with her hair so she looks extra cute)

when gendry is home on winter break, arya and dany drag him to the women’s march 

(drag him not because he’s against the cause - only because he’s firmly against the cold)

there is a little bit of awkwardness at first when gendry and dany meet, because robert and aerys had always been political rivals. (since this is a modern au, let’s go ahead and say that no one had anyone murdered lol. they just hated each other a lot)

but gendry is like yeah f that guy i didn’t even know him. and dany is like, fair enough! would be weird of me to hold that against you in the first place! (cough cough) 

arya and dany have a standing weekly facetime date during the entire year that arya is abroad in braavos

they love teaching each other languages and helping each other craft diplomatically scathing social media posts in response to sexist/racist/homophobic trolls

and lastly

on the day that arya decides enough is enough & she is going to finally make a move on gendry, dany helps her choose an outfit, but arya does her hair by herself, and dany is like a proud mama

[shadowtongued]

long headcanon about the duality of love and the mahjarrat condition pertaining to it from his point of view. if you read all this babble i swear to god, i love you, i hope you have a good day. cw: sex addiction, child neglect, unhealthy coping, unrequited pains. reason for writing: hi i want to die bc of angst.

i think we all know even without playing medieval xp grind lore game, runescape, that sliske is old. very old. he tells us in endgame there's not much he hasn’t done with his life over thousands of years, even traveling to other planets and realms to just see what was out there and how far he could get. i’ve always projected his age as somewhere between more than 8,000 or even more than 10,000. we’re never given a timeline to how long the children of mah have lived. sliske has done a lot with his time; he’s killed a god, had quite a few elder relics in his grasp, SPOKEN to a elder god and managed not to die, mastered shadow magicks, has an excellent grasp on the shadow realm. he’s good with biology, chemistry, has a fair understanding of soul magic which is kind of a rare brand of knowledge, he’s tricked probably thousands into bad contracts to become wights in his army, understands the psychology and bad morals of people. he was a playwright, a high ranking officer, a spymaster. dude is just a determined polymath. you know what he hasn’t done? love. he’s never got to play with love.

mahjarrat are explained as having emotions, but dulled ones. they feel rage and pride apparently better than others. kharshai said after years of really believing he was a human, that when he came back to his true form he states “i  feel raw power coursing through my veins. i don't feel pain like i used to, and i'm sure my intellect has increased. but somehow there is something missing. a capacity for emotion that i can't quite put my finger on.” they aren’t equipped for the same range of positive emotions as others are. they feel it, but they don’t understand it fully, it has been said by developers. this whole bit is sadly funny considering in canon, sliske catches feelings. he doesn’t realize he’s attracted to the player character. it’s stated many times, in his journals, in dialogue, etc. he believes their fates are tangled no matter what. and the saddest bit is he probably doesn’t understand these feelings and it confuses him to the point of anger.  “ love! a mahjarrat in love? ... i almost wish that were true. it would certainly make the universe a more interesting place. ” “ so perhaps i have loved you. but that doesn’t mean i have to like you.”  sliske’s main goal started off as to take the players immortal, unable to be crushed by the divine, soul and give it to himself so he could live forever, as mahjarrats do not have afterlives, once they die they are done, evaporated into energy. but in endgame we learn something from him hidden in masks that refutes that;

“I love you for more than your soul.”

you STUPID fucker, you’re in love.

the remainder of this is a lot of NON-CANON, personal headcanon interpretation that pretty much only works on this blog. as a rough summary: sliske’s ol’ mum was not fond of her kids, half-brother wahisietel or sliske since she did not see them as powerful as herself and was disappointed that's what her legacy came out to. a short, beefy, average at magic son, she had another go and was still disappointed with this spidery, scrawny, gifted but absolutely annoying stick underweight child. his father, saw him once or twice in his life and that was it. dyeosuthua wanted nothing more than to make them disappear and try again until she got offspring she didn’t want to throw into a lava pit in secrecy, infanticide was against tribal law due to population issues. sliske’s mother’s neglect was so severe, ( by the absolute boundless joys of rp development and mutual heacanons ♥ ) that wahi and nabor had an attempt at raising him and keeping him from freezing to death. why is all this jargon important? because while all mahjarrats are raised by tough love, sliske’s attention deprivation from his mother was so severe, he grew up and still has a slew of reactive attachment, psychological, and social issues he still carries as an adult. several times she threatened to kill him and almost made good on it more than twice. when wahisietel had proven he was a survivor of the first ritual of rejuvenation, sliske became dyeosuthua’s  main target for abuse despite his gift for magic at a young age. nothing he did could impress her enough. and it left him constantly seeking approval and validation to an insecure mind.

the more he grew, the more confident he became mainly out of spite and to get attention. he’s loud, charming, makes you the only person in the room when he talks to you. he has an innate silver-tongued ability that persuades people to do just about anything. it was a front for his insecurities that he kept very very closed up. in the second age/senntisten capital, sliske had a pretty severe sex addiction as it was one of the few ways he felt validated and was able to get affection in a way he could digest. people with reactive attachment disorders often have sex addictions to fill the space of acceptance without having to commit.. easy, feel good intimacy without having to open up and let someone learn about your vulnerabilities and commit. it was pretty severe, considering mahjarrats find any kind of breeding or intimacies outside their ‘superior species’ as downright foul. sliske had always been the black sheep of the tribe and with his status as praefectus praetorio; head of secret police, really nothing put a damper on him trying to fill the void for affection he had. there wasn’t a species or individual he wouldn’t bed. he would easily take up propositions even for people who just wanted to fuck a mahjarrat because it was ‘exotic’ or because of his status as an officer, he now looks back on this and it bruises his insecurities even more that he allowed himself to do that. not out of pride for his species. but himself, being just a thing to be had because of rarity. azzanadra and his brother, wahisietel found out about it and while disgusted, partially understood what he was doing to negatively self soothe. at one point sliske and azzanadra, the champion of their god and head of the church, as well of one of the strongest living of their kin, had a lasting tryst for a few years and for awhile it made sliske feel very much self important in a way and alleviated his need to be needed so badly, this did not end well when sliske grew tired of their empire and wanted freedom. once childhood best friends and lovers had become absolute enemies once sliske became too unstable and azzanadra became too zealous. 

sliske gave up his sexcapades for a long time, thousands of years, his libido dropped when he became interested in other projects and self healing when he was hit with the idea that he hasd essentially allowed himself to be an exotic fling and still burned over becoming his god, zaros, scapegoat after all he had done for him. love was a weird concept to him and still is. despite being adamant love doesn’t exist for his kind, and his belief that he is flawed, unstable, and embraced the idea of ‘you want a monster? fine! i’ll be the monster!’. he expects no pity, not be forgiven to things he has done and even in game when you sycophantically try to cozy to him, he straight up calls out your text choice was awful considering some of the shitty things he might have done to you. to sliske, all attention to him is attention, whether you’re praising or insulting him. he’s on your mind, he exists, that’s all he wants.

backstory aside the real part of this headcanon is that sliske actually wants love. it’s the only thing aside from an immortal soul he hasn’t had. sliske actually has an attraction to humans because they are empathetic, curious, passionate, and determined. he has an easier time assimilating and being around them since he has ALWAYS had a better sense of humor, socializing, and happiness than his kin. he feels emotions a lot stronger than his fellow mahjarrats. it allows him to talk to and connect to humans and humanlike species better. others of his kind have told him there’s “something wrong” with him for that. he’s actually a romantic, even if he’s just mimicking romance stories, movies, and actions from others. he thinks the idea of settling with one person and loving them is both mortifying and interesting. opening yourself up to someone and giving them the hammer to smash your cherry-red painted porcelain heart and seeing if they do, to him might be the ultimate form of trust and biggest gamble of russian roulette. the stakes are so heavy he’s high on the idea. but it’s also horrifying. mahjarrat are prolific for not opening up, not allowing others in, vulnerability out in the open is a death sentence. they live in a kratocracy/meritocracy where they kill off the weakest link. it’s not pretty. being soft is a useless, unnecessary, weak gene to them. it dampers survival. 

but yet sliske keeps reading romance novels, writing his own confused poetry, and getting into unrequited one sided loves but practicing a backstabbing betrayal when one gets too close. i have to hurt them before they hurt me, betray and cut them down before they can do it to me. i think he wants to be loved. i think he kinda wants to be taught to love, for the emotions and the sake of knowledge. ( brb james newton howard’s ‘true love’s kiss’ from maleficent just came on spotify and i think i’m going to die bc i did not ask for background music thanks!!! ) he wouldn’t be the best at it, maybe a little too possessive with you, codependent, but very nurturing and fun loving. will sepnd a whole week spooning you.. people who hurt you past, present, and future may end up dead in mysterious ways or turned into a wight for you to beat the shit out of. but he’d try. he’s still got a broken child sitting behind his third rib. i think he would snarl the first few times someone genuinely got close to him, it would terrify him, being known on such a skinned, raw level. having gentle touches that are real and not a come hither to the bedroom. being known for something other than the confident, ego he has is death. he could be taught to be gentle for a crumb of consistent attention. might even cut down the murders and god killing down by 15%. love is not going to fix him, it’s not going to forgive the actual shitty things he’s done. it should never do that. but it will turn the lights on in a dark house.

love could really break him. i think so. i’d type more but this has gone on too long and i feel sad-happies. 

[invaderzia1]

You have some angsty or sad squad headcanons? 😏

Hell yeah, I did angsts Headcannons for both canon and modern/regular AU and a sad heacanon for each couple

Jiwin:

Angsts: (Canon AU) After Erwin lost his arm, Ji made him promise to stay safe and no matter what come back to her. He told her it’s his duty as commander to do what ever it takes for humanity’s sake and that he if it cost him his life in the end he’d still go through with it. She got really protective over him and tried to be near him for as long as she could. She knew there was a possibility of him not coming back when the scouts returned to Shingashina, but hearing the news of his death destroyed her. She swore she’d never forgive him for leaving her, but still loved him.

(Modern/Regular) After the first couple of months they were together, Erwin got a call from a woman he had been with previously, saying she was pregnant and it was his. He told Ji immediately and while they weren’t together when he hooked up with her, it still hurt Ji a lot. He wanted to keep the baby in his life, so the poor thing wouldn’t grow up without a loving father. Ji and Erwin almost broke up, due to Ji seeing this woman as shady after waiting 8 months to tell him about this child. Luckily, Ji was able to get Levi and Hanji to help convince him to get a DNA test and they found out the baby wasn’t his, but he still gave the woman a small sum of money to help her support the baby when she had it. Ji doesn’t hold a ill will against the woman, who truly thought it was his and wasn’t scared to take the dna test at all, but wishes the woman hadn’t waited so long to tell him.

Sad: sometimes Erwin can put his work before Ji, which results in fighting and a lot of tears. He tries not to do it much now that they’ve been together for a while, but he’s very committed to improving his work. He nearly missed her birthday party once because he wanted to stay at work and finish a project, but Levi kicked him out of the office and told him he’d do the rest.

Coltzi:

Angst: (Canon AU) After Gabi and Falco were taken to Paradis, and Zeke betrayed Marley, Colt became very distant and cold. He blamed himself for both kids going missing and wished he was faster/stronger/more reliable/etc. He’s broken inside, having lost his chance to prove himself worthy to inherit the Beast Titan and not being able to protect those he cares about. Even Franzi is unable to break through to him, which strains their relationship heavily. They stay together, but there’s a noticeable shift in their relationship that results in an increase in fights and other things.

(Modern/Regular) Colt was babysitting Falco and Gabi one day when he went inside for a drink and a bathroom break, when he went back into his back yard they were gone. He tried to call for them and look in the surrounding woods, but he couldn’t find them. He blamed himself so hard and told Franzi they should break up, as she deserves someone who isn’t as incompetent as him. It was a really horrible time for him. They were only gone till midnight, when the two came out from the woods, shocking the cops and family, who had been searching for hours. Gabi had dragged Falco into the woods for an “adventure” and they got lost after a while. Nobody blamed Colt for what had happened, more or less grateful the two came back and they were promptly reprimanded for running off like that. Colt still freaks out about it happening again to either Falco or his own kids.

Sad: Colt is usually able to handle himself well, but sometimes he feels like he’s not enough for Franzi. He’s quiet during this time and usually tries to be close to her, afraid that she will leave if he’s not near him. Franzi picks up on this pretty easy and tells him how much she loves him more.

Marvie:

Angst: (Canon AU) After the attack in Trost, Stevie searched the town for Marco, after hearing he was reported missing. She questioned nearly all of her friends multiple times, more desperate each time. It wasn’t until she saw Jean caring his corpse in his arms to pile them with the others she finally broke. She nearly snatched him from Jean’s arms, but didn’t trust her strenght to support his form. She cried on his body, not caring if Jean was there or not, begging this to be some sort of fucked up dream. Before Jean places his body with the others, he took Marco’s jacket off and gave it to her, along with other possession he had, which included a ring and a letter Stevie wrote him when they first started dating.

(Modern/Regualr) Marco nearly gets in an accident driving to work one day, some asshole swerves in front of him and nearly runs him into a heavily wooded area. When Stevie gets a call from the hospital she nearly breaks and rushes over, seeing his left side bandaged and his left arm in a sling. She’s unable to shake the feeling of that happening and what would’ve happened if it was worse. Marco tries to tell her he’s okay and that the scarring isn’t so bad, the scars on his face are barely noticeable and the ones on his arm and shoulder are hidden by much of his clothes. Anytime Stevie sees the scars though, it just reminds her.

Sad: Stevie has off days so often, where she tends to say things she doesn’t mean to Marco, about how they should break up and all that. Marco knows not too take it personal, just to hold her close and whisper how much he loves her. But the first couple of times this happened, he generally worried they were actually breaking up and cried, begging her not to. Marco, doesn’t have bad days often, but when he does he’s very quiet and distant. He kind of stares off randomly and doesn’t pay attention to what’s happening around him. He just needs to be wrapped in a blanket and cuddled for a bit.

Erena:

Angst: (Canon AU) After the attack on Marley, Rena is unable to be around Eren. The obvious shift in personality and his actions are too much for her to deal with, especially with the rising tensions between him and the military. She tries to talk to him and speak some sense into him, but he’s too stuck in his way and shrugs her off. Even when they kiss or look into each other’s eyes, he has this far off look like he’s not in the moment. After the bomb goes off that kills Zackley and Erens mob, she feels everything inside her break, unable to move past this now and not knowing what will happen next time she sees him.

(Modern/Regular) Before they got together, but they were still friends, Eren once was messing around with Armin, jumping too fast at an oppurtunity to mess around on a four wheeler, when he took it down a nasty hill and it flipped. He was pretty young(still a teenager) when this happened, and not as strong as he is now, so it really fucked him up. He was pinned under it unconscious and Armin was unable to move it off. When the ambulance and fire crew came and took it off his blood was covering him and the ground. Nobody thought he’d make it, he was in a coma for a two and a half weeks. Rena visited him everyday, having small talk as if he was awake. When he came through, he was not fully there, and it took around a year for him to fully regain much of himself. While he’s okay, he still has the scars and some problems relating to the injury, but nothing massively serious.

Sad: Both Rena and Eren have strong tempers and don’t like to move on things, so their fights can escalate pretty heavily. Not to the point of getting physical, but Eren sometimes doesn’t think of what he’s saying as he says it. They quickly make up after tempers cool and they are alone for a bit, but there have been times it’s almost caused them to break up, though one of them usually calms down when it’s suggested and is able to bring the other down.

Mean:

Angst: (Canon AU) When Sasha dies, everything shifts. We were all there watching and it broke everyone, but Jean felt he could’ve done something more, something better. He blames himself for not being able to stop Gabi from shooting and is haunted by the thought. For the first time in a long time, he thinks of Marco and once we get back to base, he locks himself in his room for the rest of the day. When I finally see him, his room is a mess and his eyes are red and swollen, he pulls me close and tells me he will never let anything like that happen, he couldn’t forgive himself if he couldn’t protect me. He’s on edge more often and more protective after that, wanting me to stay off missions or anything else dangerous. Both of us have nightmares of the other one dying.

(Modern/Regular) He was hanging with the crew once, everyone hit the local big city while I stayed home due to being sick. The crew had been in a bar late at night when Jean left to have a quick smoke break (/Vape break). He was standing on the side of the bar, which was a pretty sketchy alley, when someone came out and pushed him further into the alley. They told him give him all his valuables before pulling out a knife. Jean tried to reason with the guy, talking him out of it, but the guy lunged at him with the knife. The guy got a good swip on Jeans cheek, leaving a scar down the side, before Armin smashed him over the head with a thick book he bought earlier in the day. Jean had to get some stitches and luckily the guy was arrested and nothing worse happened, but my fear of big cities and specifically stuff like that made me go into a panic. I still have nightmares of it ending worse for him and whenever we go to large cities I have bad anxiety. When I saw Armin, helped bring Jean home after the hosptial, I hugged him close, crying hard as I thanked him so much.

Sad: we both have days where we think the other can do so much better, usually this leads to either one of us being ignored or really depressed texts to the other. I tend to ignore him or tell him he should leave me and that I’m the worst person, leading to him either coming to see me or calling me and telling me how much he loves me. While, Jean tends to get jealous when he’s depressed and hyper focuses on certain friends I have, saying he’s sorry he can’t be them or that they’d treat me better, which makes me call him or if I’m close, pull him close and tell him how much I am devoted to him.