#After this Saint probably tried to run away and instantly ran into something
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Arti: So why do you always wear stuff on your head anyways?
Saint: I, uh⌠have thisâŚ.
Saint: Scar! O-On my forehead. That Iâm embarrassed of.Â
Arti (messing with them): Whatâs wrong with scars?
Saint: No no I didnât mean it like that! Your face looks great! Youâre so beautiful!
Arti: You think Iâm beautiful?Â
#Rw siblings au#Rw Karmaflower#Rw Artificer#Rw Saint#Theres been too much angst in this au lately I needed to make a silly comic lol#After this Saint probably tried to run away and instantly ran into something
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⤠made-up love song drabbles
Seokjinâs chapter ixÂ
kim seokjin x reader warnings; angst, this feels pretty heavy at certain points but gets lighter as you go on, thereâs a therapy session included, and just a lot of introspection words; 7,459
authorâs note; this kind of ran away with me, wasnât expecting it to be so long haha but I hope you enjoy!Â
Read the original chapter ix hereÂ
âŞď¸ read the series here / and drabbles here
After you left Seokjin immediately poured the rest of his whisky down the sink and rinsed his glass. His mind was whirring, head heavy and starting to throb. He swallowed two painkillers down with some water and took a deep breath. He felt like crying. It felt like everything was crumbling around him. All his recent happiness, all his progress, and now possibly it seemed, his relationship with youâŚÂ
Heâd wanted nothing more than to beg you to stay, and he had to an extent, but he knew it wasnât right. He closed his eyes, not quite believing youâd witnessed all that. You probably thought he was a monster. He hadnât lost his temper quite like that in a while, not since before the divorce⌠Embarrassment washed over him, yet he couldnât stop himself from still being mad at Nana. He knew what you said made sense. He knew heâd been out of line but Nana continuously goaded him. Sheâd done so throughout their marriage. But he was no saint, he knew how to provoke her too. Itâs what they did best.Â
He moved away from the sink and tried to quash his anger, instead thinking of you and how much he had hurt and upset you. He hadnât meant for it to get that bad, and he knew deep down that the reason he was so angry was because heâd brought it all on himself. He caused the incident by keeping his relationship with you secret. It hadnât been on purpose, he wasnât being vindictive, if anyone would believe him. He just⌠He had been selfish. He didnât want to ruin anything because he was finally really happy after god knows how long. It was stupid in hindsight, but what was done was done now.Â
He reached for Arinâs mug of hot chocolate and fresh waves of guilt and emotion hit him. She didnât deserve any of this. He needed to be there for her, to push his own troubles away and put on a brave face because none of this was her fault. She needed to know that. Thankfully, the drink hadnât grown cold yet, and he finished it off with some cream and mini marshmallows. He took one last deep breath and made his way down the hallway. Moping was no good for him. Thatâs what Chaewon always said.Â
Arin looked happy to see him, instantly reaching out to him as he took a seat next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. He immediately felt lighter with relief. His daughter had always been his magical cure, and even though a cuddle wouldnât make everything in his life right again, it certainly helped, and was very much needed. She asked where you were at one point, and unsure what to say, and feeling like shit for lying, he quickly said you needed to be somewhere. Arin probably didnât buy it, looking dubious as a result of today, bus she didnât say anything, asking instead if they could watch a movie.Â
She wasnât very talkative, and he didnât blame her. Neither was he. He spent most of Shrek the Third lost in his own thoughts. As his anger slowly drifted away, shame replaced it. Heâd been absolutely awful today and even if some of the things heâd said to Nana came from a valid place of concern, most were shouted for no reason other than frustration and hatred on his part. He was ashamed of himself.Â
After the movie finished, Arin complained she was feeling hungry, so he left her to pick a new movie while he found something to cook up for dinner. He caught sight of the bowl of salad and his heart sunk, remembering the picnic outside. There was no salvaging it now, everything had probably spoiled in the sun, and as he waited for Arinâs dinner to cook, he went outside with a garbage bag, throwing away all the food youâd painstakingly prepared. It felt like he was throwing your relationship in the trash. He didnât eat with that thought in mind, managing one piece of toast before it turned on him.Â
At around 6pm his phone started to ring, vibrating in his front pocket and giving him a shock. For a split second he prayed it was you, but he knew he was being foolish. You needed time and if he was being honest with himself, so did he. He needed to concentrate on Arin tonight, as much as heâŚlovedâŚyou, his daughterâs wellbeing was the most important thing. If he could just make sure Arin was okay, then tomorrow he could concentrate on you and him.Â
Pulling out the device he saw it was Nana. He suddenly felt very, very sick but picked up with a cautious hello. He was almost 100% sure she wanted to speak with Arin, the only way she could seeing as Arin was too young to have a phone of her own, but he was still wary, not wanting a repeat of earlier.Â
âI want to speak to my daughter.â There was anger to her tone, and he knew her well enough to understand she had her guard up right now. Sheâd left his place upset and emotional, and that was two of the things she hated people seeing. Especially him. She hated being vulnerable.Â
Seokjin sighed weakly. âNana, come on, donât be like that.â He hesitated, wanting to say sorry for today but the word wouldnât come. Despite the guilt setting in, he was still pretty angry and frustrated himself.Â
âI want to speak with Arin,â she repeated. âWill you let me?â
âOf course I will,â he replied. What did she take him for?Â
He turned to Arin, ready to tell her it was her mom on the phone, but she was already waiting, her ears probably catching Nanaâs name a few seconds previous. He smiled gently at her and passed his cell phone over. He tried to concentrate on the television as they spoke, not wanting to eavesdrop. Arin was uncharacteristically quiet as she hummed along to whatever Nana was saying, the occasional okay and I know slipping from her lips as she curled a lock of hair around her finger over and over again, but he understood why. Today had been overwhelming for everyone involved but especially her. She hadnât seen or heard them argue in a long time, both he and Nana careful to hide them from her as of late. Today had been an awful mistake and the now a stronger wave of guilt was eating him up.Â
After a few minutes he heard Arin tell her mother she loved her and then she hung up, returning the phone to Seokjin. He stretched over and placed the device on the coffee table, turning back to his daughter apologetically.  âIâm sorry about today, Arin.âÂ
She immediately flung herself into his arms, wrapping hers around his sides to hug him tight. He squeezed her right back, running his fingers through her hair gently. âDaddy was really angry, I shouldnât have shouted.âÂ
âMommy shouted too,â she reminded him. âShe was angry that I called Y/N my stepmom.â Hesitantly she looked up at him, her eyes wide with worry. âI didnât know it was wrong.âÂ
Seokjin sighed gently, trying to see things from Nanaâs point of view. âItâs not a wrong word. Itâs just a word that hurt your motherâs feelings.â Â Arin looked a little confused by that explanation, and suddenly Seokjin felt the urge to be as honest as he could with her. She was still young, yes, but she wasnât stupid. Far from it actually. She deserved not to be kept in the dark.Â
âShe⌠she didnât know that Y/N is my girlfriend.âÂ
âWhy?â
âI was wrong and didnât tell her.â
Arin stayed silent as she mulled his words over. After a few moments she simply said, âI didnât know that.âÂ
Seokjin ran a hand down her back, choosing his next words carefully. âWill you tell me what happened today? How mommy found out?â
Arin wriggled away from him to get comfier, sitting back against the sofa again. Seokjin copied, lifting his arm up so she could cuddle up to him. âShe asked if I had a new bracelet and I told her Y/N had bought it for me last weekend when I stayed with her.âÂ
Looking down at her wrist now, Seokjin saw no bracelet and he guessed Arin had taken it off in a bid not to hurt her mom even more. She was such a sweet child, always thinking of other peopleâs feelings.Â
âMommy asked who she was and I said she was my stepmom â only because Suzie told me thatâs what she is. Suzie has one too and it was fun because then we both had stepmoms.âÂ
Seokjin nodded along in understanding. âItâs okay, it was only a misunderstanding. But to use that word it needs to be discussed first, okay?âÂ
It was Arinâs turn to nod and Seokjin continued carefully. He was well aware everything was up in the air now so it hurt hearing the words that came out of his own month. âRight now Y/N is just Y/N. Before we use that word we have to make sure she likes it, alright? And mommy too.âÂ
âI didnât know.âÂ
âI know you didnât,â he comforted, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He wasnât even too sure she knew what exactly the word meant.Â
They both stayed silent for a little while before Arin spoke again. âYou and mommy havenât argued for a long time until todayâŚbecause I said that wordâŚâ
âHey,â Seokjin exclaimed softly wanting her to look his way. âWe didnât argue because of you. None of this is your fault, okay? Itâs my fault and Iâm really sorry.âÂ
She gave him a small smile and patted his head. âItâs okay, daddy. I still love you.âÂ
He couldnât help but chuckle slightly. He could always count on his daughter to cheer him up. âThank you, Arin.â He kissed her cheek. âI love you too. Very much.âÂ
The new week started off badly. He had been foolish to think Mondays were something of a fresh start, foolish to think calling you first thing in the morning was a good idea, and as you told him you needed some space and that youâd call him once the week was over he couldnât help but think the worst. Youâd insisted that you werenât mad at him, and you had no reason to lie to him, but there was no doubt you were upset⌠overwhelmed. That morning heâd woken up even more ashamed of the way heâd acted the day before, wincing as he remembered the way heâd lost his temper. Heâd sworn that he would never let that side of himself appear ever again, but it was easier said than done. Nana had struck a nerve with the way she had spoken to you and it had been impossible to keep his cool.Â
He felt deeply ashamed when he thought about how confused you must have felt watching he and his ex-wife hurl abuse at each other. Deeply ashamed when he thought about the way youâd found out things he had never told you⌠You were hurt heâd never let you know what triggered his divorce, and he understood why completely. It wasnât like it hadnât crossed his mind to share such a personal detail with you, it had, of course it had, he just couldnât bring himself to say the words. Your experience with infidelity was the complete opposite of his. You had your heart torn to pieces by your ex-fiancĂŠ and he had his ego bruised⌠His marriage with Nana had already been completely over, he just didnât have the guts to get out. She was correct, he was a coward through and through.Â
But most of all he was deeply ashamed of his behaviour entirely. He had never meant to compare the both of you. He had never meant to use you to hurt Nana. It was extremely petty, such a low blow, and he didnât know where it had come from. Rage had washed over him and heâd spat words that he couldnât take back. It was the worst thing heâd ever done in his entire life, and despite the grievances he had with Nana, he regretted those words deeply. He hadnât wanted to hurt her like that. It was shameful, and he felt horrendous for hurting both women with his foolish behaviour.Â
Was there a happy ending after this? If Nana didnât already hate him, she did now, and you were probably not too far behind. Youâd seen him at his most poisonous, heard him use you to prove a point, found out things heâd kept from you, and learned heâd kept you a secret from his ex-wife. How embarrassed you must have felt⌠How confused⌠Heâd made so many mistakes along the way, it was a wonder they hadnât caught up with him soonerâŚÂ
He wouldnât be able to bear it if you wound up hating him. Not when he loved you so much. He hadnât even had a chance to confess yet, coming so close to it Saturday night but backing out because he was scared it was too soon. Heâd made the decision there and then to tell you once he took you to Paris, getting swept away with the idea and the romance of it all, but now the regret for not professing his love that night was like a lead weight inside his chest. Would it have changed anything? Would yesterday have had a different outcome?Â
And while he was regretting things, he regretted not letting Nana know about the relationship. Yesterday could have been avoided completely â maybe.Â
The more he thought, the worse it got and by Tuesday he could feel himself spiralling. He knew the feeling all too well. Soobin had already worked out something was the matter. (His lack of morning shave a dead giveaway.) And that meant he was doing a terrible job at hiding his mood. He couldnât have Arin sensing the same. She obviously hadnât forgotten about the weekend and wouldnât anytime soon, but he couldnât make it worse for her. He needed to be there for her, as her father, not too busy distracted with his own misery. It was selfish.Â
But he couldnât suppress it all. He knew that was unhealthy. So, Tuesday night, once Arin was tucked up in bed sound asleep, he called the one person his former happiness had been neglecting for months nowâŚÂ
âSeokjin,â Chaewon greeted, her warm voice laced with surprise. âLong time no speak.âÂ
He felt guilt immediately wash over him. âYeah⌠Iâm sorry about that.â It was stupid really, she wasnât taking it personally, he could guarantee that, but nevertheless it was an emotion he was all too familiar with these days.Â
Chaewon chuckled. âDonât apologise for being happy and not needing me.âÂ
His heart twisted.Â
She sensed his trouble. âJin?â
He hesitated, looking down at the bottle of whisky sat at his desk. He was in his home office. âSomething happened.âÂ
There was silence as his therapist processed his vague words before she pressed him gently, âOh?âÂ
He took a breath. âAre you free to talk?âÂ
âYes, of course.âÂ
âIâm sorry for calling you out of hours.â He apologised. âDonât feel bad about billing me for this. Iâll even pay double.âÂ
âSeokjin, donât be silly,â she told him softly.  âLetâs name this a friendship call. Now, whatâs wrong?â She sensed the last bit of reluctance he was holding onto. âCome on, you can tell me anything.âÂ
He sighed. âI donât know where to start.âÂ
âHow about from the beginning?â
They spoke for an hour in the end, Chaewon listening attentively as he explained the weekendâs events. He left nothing out, or least what he could remember. He made no attempt to hide his wrongdoings or soften the story. He didnât want to. He knew he had done wrong. She was sympathetic, but she didnât mince her words when it came to her disappoint in him.Â
After the argument he and Nana had gotten into just before Arin had moved in with him, he had worked hard with Chaewon to find a way to curb the anger he often felt when he and his ex-wife communicated. He thought he had been successful, but now he realised all heâd done was find ways to avoid it. He barely spoke to Nana unless he had to, a hello barely exchanged when she called in the evenings to speak to their daughter. A text shared to confirm when Arin would get picked up for the weekend, or one shared to cancel visits⌠He saw her even less. Jia, Nanaâs PA and closest friend was the one who collected their daughter, and he knew it was because his ex-wife wanted to avoid him just as much.Â
In the long term they had just been making things worse. Thatâs why last Sunday had been so bad. A build-up of every single frustration felt since the last time theyâd seen one another, because no doubt Nana had her own list. It was a recipe for disaster.Â
It felt good to confide in someone though, someone who knew him very well on a professional and personal level. Chaewon was amazing at putting him in his place so kindly. It was a gift really, and he appreciated it immensely. The older woman saw his negative traits but never judged him. She understood them and tried her best to help him with them. He guessed that was her job, but she did it so well it was hard not to see her as some sort of friend.Â
Thatâs why when she asked to see him in person tomorrow he didnât hesitate to free up his schedule. Truth was, he wanted it too. His mind was still clouded and he needed her insight. Her advice. He wanted a good night sleep too but he didnât think that would be possible any time soon, no matter how much Chaewon tried to help him. Not when his sheets continued to smell like you⌠ Â
.
.
âItâs about time you both let go of the past.âÂ
Seokjin let Chaewonâs words sink in as he sat opposite her, nervously chewing on a nail. It wasnât a habit of his, but it was somewhat of a distraction right now. A comfort. They should have let go of the past a long time ago. Maybe then they would have divorced sooner. Maybe then there would be less resentmentâŚ.Â
âArin is the one thing you have in common and you need to work together in order to be the best possible parents you can.âÂ
That cut his heart deep, a twinge similar to what heâd felt all week. Ever since you left. âI know,â he replied quietly. âItâs justâŚâ
He couldnât continue. Despite how heâd insinuated Nana was a bad mother, he didnât think that deep down. They both loved their daughter equally, but that love was separate. It had been separate practically since she was born. Arin was missing their combined love, although she knew no differentâŚÂ
âYou need to let go of all that bitterness and resentment.â Chaewon continued. Words she had said fairly regularly for the last two years or so. âFor your sake, for ArinâsâŚâ But now there was a new addition. ââŚand Y/Nâs.âÂ
Seokjin snorted. âWho said I havenât scared her away already?â
Chaewon stare turned a little stern. âIt was a shock to the system, anyone would need some time to process what happened.â When he stayed silent, she continued. âYou have to make her see youâre trying your best to change things. You need to take responsibility for your actions.âÂ
âI will.âÂ
He wanted nothing more than to apologise profusely and answer any questions you had, but youâd requested time first and he was listening. He was just scared that time would work against him. He continued on, ignoring his deepest, darkest worry.Â
âItâs not fair on her. She should never have witnessed all that, and it just drums in how unfair this has been to Arin her whole life.â Arin had been the witness to many an argument when he and Nana were still married. âI hurt the people closet to me because of my careless actions,â he concluded with a sad smile. Time after time.Â
âAnd itâs not too late to change that,â Chaewon reminded. âPut a stop to all this nonsense.âÂ
Seokjinâs smile grew for a millisecond, feeling like a child getting told off.Â
âYour marriage with Nana didnât work out, thatâs life. But you have a beautiful little girl together. Thatâs the most important thing, and it goes hand in hand with your own happiness.â She paused and then continued. âItâs very obvious that Y/N brings a great deal of that to the table.â
Yes, you did make him deliriously happy. He felt young again when he was with you. He felt invincible. Loved. He felt loved.Â
âConcentrate on both of them â Arin and Y/N â and make some changes. Talk to Nana â civilly. Make this work and you can all be happy. I promise you that.âÂ
He had never heard Chaewon like this before, she was practically pleading with him. He let out a little laugh. âYou make it sound so simple.âÂ
She simply smiled at him. âIf youâre determined enough, it is.âÂ
.
.
âMom wants to talk to you.âÂ
Seokjin looked at his phone outstretched in Arinâs hand with slight confusion. For the past four nights, ever since Sunday, Nana had spoken with Arin just before she had to get ready for bed. It was routine now, another avoidance, he exchanged a hello with her and then passed the phone on. Her tone less defensive as the days went on. Tonight had been the same despite his session with Chaewon this lunchtime. But to his surprise, maybe Nana was making the first move.Â
He took the phone from Arin with a smile, not wanting to make her nervous. Usually he left her alone to speak to her mother, not wanting to pry or insert himself but tonight he was sat next to her on the sofa, replying to emails on his laptop. He hadnât been listening at all, too engrossed with finalising details for an upcoming project, so of course it had come as a shock to find Arin passing the phone to him.Â
âHello?â
âI was just wondering if I could have Arin this weekend.â Nana totally bypassed a greeting of any kind, but she wasnât demanding in her tone, nor defensive, it was just the way she was. Sheâd always been straight to the point, no time for pleasantries, and many years ago, when theyâd first met, heâd found it highly amusing.Â
âUm, of course,â he replied, taken back a little. He would be more than happy for her to have Arin. It wasnât her weekend, but that had never bothered him before. He wanted Arin to see her as much as possible. It was only fair seeing as their daughter now lived with him.Â
There was a brief silence before Nana spoke again. Had she been expecting him to say no? Surely not. But then again, after last weekend maybe her worries were valid. She found her bearings. âWhat time does she finish school? Iâm taking Friday out, Iâll drive down and collect her.âÂ
Seokjin couldnât help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. Nana had not once collected Arin herself. âShe finishes at 3.â
Nana hesitated, âDo you think theyâd let her finish early?âÂ
âI donât know⌠Itâs usually only emergencies ââ
âNever mind,â she stopped him. âThere was just a bunch of things Iâd planned, thought we could get a head start, itâs fine.âÂ
He glanced over at Arin who was watching him hopefully. It was obvious what their phone call had entailed. Theyâd been making plans for the weekend and Arin was visibly excited. He smiled at her.Â
âI could always phone the school tomorrow,â he suggested to Nana. âSee if itâs possible. Maybe she could skip the whole day?âÂ
Nana sounded ecstatic. Something he hadnât heard in years. âReally? Do you think thereâs a chance theyâd say yes?â
He shrugged to himself. âItâs just one day, I donât see why not.âÂ
Nana was busy thinking. âMaybe I could take tomorrow afternoon away from the office too⌠Pick her up at 3.âÂ
It was his turn to hesitate now, opening his mouth ready to suggest something. He knew he owed his ex-wife an apology, but over the phone just wouldnât do. He needed to see her. He went for it. âOr I could do it for you? I can drive her to you.âÂ
âYou would do that?â She sounded shocked.Â
âIf sheâs allowed to miss a day then yes.âÂ
âOh.â It wasnât often Nana was left speechless. âOkay,â she agreed after a moment. âThat would be great actually.âÂ
His attention went back to Arin then, who was practically vibrating with excitement next to him. His replies hadnât given away much, but it was enough to tell her sheâd be seeing her mother this weekend â and possibly skipping a day of school. He grinned at her and she clung to his arm.Â
âCan I say bye to mom?âÂ
âIn a minute, Arin,â he chuckled, amused by her eagerness. âWeâre not done yet.â His next sentence was directed at Nana. âIâll text you tomorrow morning and let you know what the principal said.âÂ
For the first time in god knows how long there was no malice or sarcasm attached to her gratitude. âThank you, Seokjin.âÂ
He took it as a positive sign. Things were changing. They would change.Â
The next day he dropped Arin off at school himself. The plan had been to head to reception and ask if he could talk with Principal Jung in person, but after saying his goodbyes and watching Arin meet up with some friends in the playground he began to get second thoughts. What if he accidentally bumped into you? He was on pins even in the parking lot. He wanted to give you all the space necessary and the last thing you probably wanted to see was him walking towards you in the corridor. At work.Â
No, instead he drove to his office, phoning the principal as soon as heâd finished up his morning meeting. Hoseok â as heâd been told to call him â was completely understanding. Seokjin didnât even have to whip out the sob story about Arin missing her mom dearly. Dirty tactics were always the last resort, and he could talk a good game, but thankfully his skill wasnât needed today. Arin was all set to go this evening.Â
The drive wasnât a long one thankfully, just under an hour as Nana lived in the neighbouring city. This wasnât the first time heâd been to Nanaâs penthouse, the place sheâd bought after theyâd sold their family home, but the last time had been pretty explosive. Not nearly as bad as last weekend, but close. Arin had thankfully been waiting in the car for him that time, as he and her mother argued over where she should live permanently. Â
Seokjin stood beside Arin in the elevator, feeling nervous for the conversation he wanted to have. He was never above apologising when he was in the wrong, but with his ex-wife saying sorry had never come easily. It was childish and he knew he needed to change, so today was the perfect test. If he wanted a clean slate he had to be as honest as possible.Â
âMommyyy,â Arin squealed as she opened the door to greet them, barrelling into her practically.Â
Seokjin stood back as they hugged, a soft smile on his face.Â
âArin, I missed you,â Nana informed her, breaking away to take her bag. As she did so, she glanced at Seokjin, then back at their daughter. âListen, darling, go to your room for a little while so I can speak to daddy.âÂ
Seokjin felt a little relieved. At least they were on the same page â potentially.Â
Arin though, was unsure, looking between her parents as she spoke. âI donât want to. What if you argue again?â
He felt his heart break at her words. âWe wonât, sweetie,â he reassured, bending down to look her in the eyes. âI promise.âÂ
She still looked dubious, but then Nana took over, her voice light and breezy.  âWe wonât be long, okay? Think about what pizza you want to order for dinner.âÂ
Arinâs eyes lit up at that request and Seokjin couldnât help but chuckle. That pizza obsession of hers was getting dangerous. âOkay,â she agreed easily, waving to him before she skipped off to the furthest part of the apartment.Â
Seokjin watched her leave before rising up again, tugging down the ends of his jacket. Nana was looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face, but he knew it wasnât anger she was feeling, so that was a plus. He thought back to Sunday, how mad they had both been, how upset Nana had looked as sheâd rushed off. The guilt came back.Â
He exhaled. He might as well just bite the bullet. âIâm sorry for calling you a terrible mother. I didnât mean it.âÂ
Nana stayed silent but her arms wrapped around herself. It was such a vulnerable action, it took him by surprise.Â
He continued. âI was just frustrated. I let things build up and exploded.âÂ
She stared him straight in the eyes, shoulders sagging a little but her voice was strong. âYou know I love our daughter half to death.â
âI do,â he agreed. âI donât doubt that.âÂ
She look relieved. It made him feel oddly sad. He had never wanted to make her doubt herself as a mother. He was a piece of shit.Â
Still, she needed to understand some things. His point of view and where he was coming from. His frustrations werenât all for nothing. They were valid. âBut you have to understand Iâm the one who has to pick up the pieces when you end up cancelling on her. It takes its toll.âÂ
Nanaâs gaze flickered to the floor as she whispered. âIâm trying to be better.â Then she looked up again, her voice stronger. âIâm trying to free my weekends up. Iâm trying not to do as much. I thought maybe I could even have her for an evening every weekday? I could pick her up from school, take her out for dinner. I know itâs a distance but maybe I could get every Wednesday afternoon away from work... Hopefully.âÂ
Seokjin was impressed. Nana lived and breathed work so to hear she was thinking about possibly taking an afternoon away every week was⌠It made him very happy. âSheâd love that,â he grinned genuinely. âShe misses you a lot.âÂ
Nana couldnât help but smile too. âI miss her always.â With a slight chuckle she continued, âThis apartment is so quiet without her.â
Seokjin looked down at his feet and grimaced slightly. He knew that feeling all too well. Living without Arin had been close to torture after the divorce. Everything felt so silent, the house gigantic and lonely. He hated the thought of Nana feeling the same way. âYou can see her any time, Nana,â he murmured. âIâll never try to stop you.âÂ
Despite everything, their grievances toward one another, they had and would always co-parent well. Arin was their number one priority and she needed both parents in her life.Â
âI know that,â Nana nodded, âand Iâd never try to take her from you.âÂ
It didnât bear to think about, but he had to admit, sometimes it was easy for irrational thoughts to creep in when someone was left feeling insecure.Â
âShe loves living with you. Sheâs really settled at her new school, she never stops talking about her friends.â Nana continued, making small talk of sorts. He couldnât remember the last time theyâd done this. âSheâs the happiest Iâve ever seen her.âÂ
Seokjin nodded in agreement. She loved her new school, her new friends â her new life, you could say. That was easy to see.Â
Nana cleared her throat, dropping her arms to her sides. âI apologise too. I was out of line turning up at your door like that. I was just so mad... so hurt.â She took a few seconds. âI wish youâd just told me.âÂ
âI should have.â She was absolutely right. âI see that now and I regret it. It was wrong of me to keep my new relationship from you. I wasnât doing it to be vindictive. I just...â he stopped himself. Even though they werenât excuses, they felt like they were. His reasons didnât matter.
âYou should have been the first to know because of Arin. If I was in your shoes, if it was the other way around, I would have been angry too.â He stopped and sighed at his stupidity. âI never meant to hurt you, neither did Y/N. She actually had no clue you didnât know until that day.âÂ
Nanaâs eyes widened with shock, before she looked regretful. âYeah, that one makes me feel even guiltier. I shouldnât have spoken to her the way I did. It was a shock to hear Arin speaking about a stranger like that. A stranger I had no clue existed.âÂ
Seokjin appreciated her apology, but he needed to make sure she understood something. âYeah, about that, Arin really has never called Y/N her stepmom. Weâve only been together for a few months. I spoke to her about it and Arin understands thatâs not the case. It was just kids being kids.âÂ
Nana nodded. âI shouldnât have flown off the handle, and I should have listened to your explanation the first time around.âÂ
He held her gaze. âIâm not trying to replace you, Nana.âÂ
If thatâs what she was worried about, it wasnât the case. He had never meant to compare the two women and he regretted it deeply.Â
Nanaâs lips quirked up at the side, her voice relaxed and at ease. âBut eventually Arin will call her that.âÂ
His eyebrows shot up, understanding what she was getting at. âI donât know,â he shook his head. His relationship with you was up in the air right now. Heâd made one too many mistakes.Â
Nana brushed him off with sway of her hand. âI guess Iâll learn to deal with it when the time comes.âÂ
He admitted defeat. âAnd Iâll have to do the same.âÂ
It was inevitable really. One day Arin would probably have two blended families and while he really wanted his to be with you, he didnât want to get his hopes up right now.Â
Nana snorted. âFat chance of that happening. I donât have time to fall in love again.âÂ
He stayed silent, unsure what to say. Heâd thought the same once upon a time. Until you walked straight into his life. (Or, more fittingly, until heâd reversed straight into yours.) Everyone deserved love in their life and he hoped that one day his ex-wife would find it again.Â
She was looking over at him sadly now, eyes softening, and it was almost jarring to see her show this much emotion in front of him. âI did love you, you know,â she murmured before laughing quietly at herself. âI felt like I never told you enough, but in the beginning it was good, right?âÂ
âIt was.â Seokjin hated getting nostalgic, in fact, he actively avoided it, but in this moment he let himself go. Ten years ago, he and Nana had fallen hard for one another. It was fast and exhilarating but â âWe justâŚâÂ
âRushed into things that werenât meant to be?â She finished for him.Â
Heâd been so eager to marry before he was thirty, to follow in his parentsâ footsteps. He wanted, no, needed, to become CEO. Â He needed to build something he could be proud of, and having a family fit into that logic. Heâd had tunnel vision, but it wasnât all bad.Â
âI canât regret it though,â he told Nana softly, âbecause we made Arin.âÂ
âAt least we agree on one thing,â she chuckled.Â
âYeah,â he smiled.Â
It was strange speaking like this with one another. He couldnât even think of the last time something similar had happened. They were always too busy at one anotherâs throats, not listening to what the other had to say. Now all that fight had gone. They were both exhausted from years of bitterness. Years of fighting.Â
He didnât want to fight anymore.Â
Nana seemed to think the same.Â
âIâm ashamed she had to hear us fight like that,â she said. âI apologised on the phone butâŚâÂ
âSheâs okay.â He reassured. âI think she still thinks itâs her fault a little though. Iâve tried telling her it wasnât repeatedly.âÂ
âIâll talk to her over dinner.âÂ
âGood idea.âÂ
There was a pregnant pause before Nana chuckled. âThis is the first time weâve spoken so civilly in a long time.â She hesitated, wanting to say something else. He waited patiently, curious. âMaybe we should think about talking it out with a professional?âÂ
He raised his eyebrows. It wasnât a bad idea actually, but then⌠thing seemed to be working out well on their own right now. âMaybe we should see how things go first? Now that we know how one another feels.â They werenât out of the dark yet, but it was looking hopeful. âBut if you think it will help then I wonât refuse,â he added, wanting to show how seriously he was taking this.Â
She smiled slightly. âOkay, weâll see how things go.âÂ
It seemed like the conversation had run its course then, and Seokjin shuffled, about to suggest he head out now, but Nana spoke again. âAre you okay?â She asked. âNo offence, but you look like shit.âÂ
He laughed, actually laughed, at her words. He could always count on her to be honest with him. âI havenât been sleeping very well,â he admitted, âbut talking with you definitely helped.âÂ
She eyed him doubtfully. âI hope I havenât ruined things with you and Y/N. I can talk with her if you want?âÂ
âNo, itâs fine,â he shook his hand.Â
She looked down, feeling foolish. âI guess I did enough damage.âÂ
He chuckled. âNo, pretty sure I did that all on my own.âÂ
Looking up, her mouth opened, as if she was about to ask him what he meant but stopped herself at the last second. She wasnât there yet, and neither was he.Â
He took a step back. âI should go.â
Nana went to follow him to the door. âIâll have her back by Sunday. Do you want to say goodbye?â She saw his nod and called for their daughter, her voice echoing off the walls. âArin? Arin, darling, come here and say bye to your dad.âÂ
A few seconds later he heard Arinâs footsteps getting closer, she hovered by the entryway, looking worried for a second, as if she was expecting the worst but then she saw her parents smiling faces and relaxed instantly.Â
âIâll see you Sunday, okay?â Seokjin told her as she made her way towards him. He reached to pick her up, something she scolded him over sometimes because it was âembarrassingâ now. She was getting older, he kept forgetting, because to him she would always be his little girl. This time however, she let him do so, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed his cheek.Â
âOkay, bye daddy. Love you.âÂ
âLove you, too,â he grinned, kissing her back before he put her down.
Nana watched on with a grin of her own.Â
Being home alone was odd. Seokjin couldnât remember the last time heâd been on his own. In the week Misook was here to help out with Arin and the housework, then every other weekend she often dropped in when he needed her. When the house wasnât occupied by his daughter or Misook, you were here with him, so it had been quite a while since it was just him. It reminded him of the past, when heâd lived here all alone. He never wanted to go back to that.Â
He was happy to see Friday roll around. It felt like heâd been waiting all his life. Just one more day and heâd get to speak to you. The lack of communication was killing him. Ever since youâd began dating youâd spoken every day. It felt strange to be without that, like he was missing a part of himself. Heâd been able to distract himself with work throughout the week, but no amount of distractions could really stop him from thinking about you. Stop him from missing you. Because he did. Terribly.Â
The photo on his desk didnât help matters either â the two of you smiling together on the fishing trip heâd organised over the summer â but like hell was he hiding it away in a drawer.Â
It was probably best that Arin was with Nana this weekend. It gave you both some time to talk and sort things out â hopefully. He was praying so hard that everything would be okay, but he was getting ready to fight for you. Just in case. Of course he would listen to what you had to say, and respect it too, but if it happened to be bad news he would try his best to make you see how sorry he was and how hard he was trying to change. He couldnât lose you. Not when he loved you so much.
You made him want to be a better man.Â
.
.
He got home pretty late from the office, staying just to avoid an empty house and after having a quick shower and ordering takeout, he decided on an early night. This week had been mentally and emotionally draining so it was probably for the best. Plus the sooner he slept the sooner tomorrow would come.Â
Heâd just stepped out of the bathroom when he heard his phone ring in his sweatpants pocket. He pulled the device out automatically, expecting it to be Namjoon, because who else would be calling at this time? But to his surprise and utter amazement, he saw your name flashing across his screen.Â
His heart began to pound embarrassingly loud and he rushed to answer, sounding a little breathless as he murmured your name.
âHey, you,â your replied, and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice. His shoulders instantly released the tension he hadnât realised theyâd been holding.Â
âI wasnât expecting you to call tonight.â He heard himself say, cursing himself because it sounded so dumb. He was over the moon youâd decided to call. Of course he was.Â
âSorry, I hope Iâm not interrupting anything.âÂ
âOf course not,â he rushed. âWell,â he laughed, âI was just about to head to bed.âÂ
You laughed along softly, the sound making his heart sing. âI was going to wait until tomorrow but Soojung is with Taehyung tonight and being alone means I canât stop thinking about you.âÂ
He couldnât stop the sigh of relief that slipped past his lips. It was so good to hear you say that. âI havenât been able to stop thinking about you all week. Are you ready to talk? Iâm willing to answer any questions you have.â He meant every word.Â
âIâm ready,â you replied. âShould I come over? I donât want to do this over the phone.âÂ
âI can come to you?â He suggested instead, not wanting you to go out of your way for him. âArinâs with Nana until Sunday.âÂ
âOh. Okay. Now?âÂ
âItâs not too late?âÂ
âNo, itâs fine.â You sounded a little eager and that just made even more relieved. Heâd been expecting the worst all along. âI really want to see you.âÂ
He smiled, happiness overwhelming him. âIâll be there soon, okay? Really soon.â As he spoke he made his way into the closet, opening up his drawers to find a clean t-shirt.Â
âDonât speed,â you told him jokingly. Â
âOf course I wonât,â he laughed. âIâm going to hang up now but I wonât be long.âÂ
âOkay, see you soon, Seokjin.âÂ
He couldnât stop the grin on his face as he said his final goodbye, his heart racing with excitement as he tore off his old shirt to put the new one on. It was a little creased, but it would do. He didnât have time to find anything else.Â
He needed to see you.Â
He needed to be with you.Â
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New In Town (part one) - Kaz Brekker
Request: nope Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: after fleeing ravka, you hope ketterdam can bring you new opportunities Warnings:Â mentions of guns, violence, blood, bruises, scars, death oh boy we really are going full in and it's just the first part sjflksdflsj Word count: 2K A/N: new series alert !!!! got this idea a while back and the outline got so long I decided to make it into a series! I think this'll be about seven parts! enjoy reading! PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (all grishaverse fics): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha@story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone@aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy @tomridlessecretvampiredemigod TAG LIST (Kaz Brekker): @mufnasa @janesofia7 @stairscortana add yourself to my tag lists here (bold means I couldn't tag you for some reason!)
You liked to live on the edge. Not too much, of course, but you could never say no to a little adrenaline. Your life had always been busy, no time for slowing down.
And how could you slow down, with the skills you have?
All around Ravka, you're known as a highly skilled thief, assassin and spy. Of course, they don't know your true name. You hide your identity and make sure if you're meeting with a client, they never see your face or any other distinctive marks such as scars.
You're always on the move, going from place to place. Going wherever someone was in need your particular skillset. You never questioned their reasons, only did what needed to be done and got your payment. It was part of the job. You get instructions, do the job and don't ask questions.
Over the years, you'd grown rich with knowledge and the secrets of the most powerful men and women of your time. If only they knew how powerful you were, even without your skills. You could bring down a dozen of highly ranked political advisors, generals, counts and more, if you wanted to.
But you never threatened them like that. Not unless it was absolutely necessary. You didn't like to blackmail them. And on top of that, it was bad for business.
Sometimes you weren't very proud of the life you're living. Basically your whole identity is a lie. On some days you think you could forget it all, start a new life somewhere in Novyi Zem or the Ravkan countryside.
You had tried it once. You settled down on a farm. Your new life had lasted a week. Then it was back to business.
Even though no one knows your identity, you're famous among the tales that go around in Ravka. You can't help but to feel pride when you're in a pub and overhear some locals talking about you, having no clue you are sitting right behind them.
You try your best to hide you identity, you have to. Though you are more than capable of handling an ambush, you'd rather not have to run for your life. While your unique skill set is valued, it also made you a target.
Less than a week ago, some men had followed you after a job. You were on your way to the local inn you were staying at, when you noticed someone following you.
You pretended you didn't notice them and kept on walking. Soon after, two more men joined the first one. You could handle them. After all, you had weapons hidden all over your body. And even if they took them, you'd still be able to fight with your body.
As you were walking, making calculations on which escape route you could take, you noticed three more men in the distance. It was a small town, so it was odd for so many of them to linger at this time of night.
The only reason why they would be there, was that they were there for you. You slowly reached a hand to your hip, where two revolvers rest. But before you could even touch them, one of the men had rushed toward you and slammed you against a wall, pinning your hands to the wall next to your body.
But this is what you had trained for. This is what you had been doing all your life.
After a split second, you slammed your knee upward, into the man's stomach. He instantly released go of you as he doubled over. You kicked him again for good measure and finally pulled out your revolver.
So long for staying hidden.
You fired off a shot at the man closest to you and watched as he crumbled to the ground, clutching his chest. You shot the third man, who fell to the floor as well.
Before you could shoot the fourth, he knocked the revolver out of your hand. But you were too quick for him, you pulled out a knife and sunk it deep into his chest.
As you pulled it out of him again, sending blood everywhere, the fifth man approached you. This time, you were too slow. He slammed you into a wall again, your head hitting the stone hard.
You could feel blood slowly leaking down your cheek, and cursed under your breath. Oh, he was going to pay for that. You flung the knife, which you were still holding in your hand, through the air. It hit him in the neck.
You watches as he staggered backwards, eyes shocked as he looked at you. You pulled the knife out of his neck as the life left his eyes.
The sixth man seemed to have changed his mind after witnessing what you had done to his companions. But as he ran away, you sighed and pulled out your revolver. You couldn't leave any witnesses. Muttering a sorry to whichever Saint was listening, you pulled the trigger.
You couldn't stay in Ravka any longer. That incident had been the last in a string of people trying to ambush you. Even though they didn't know any facts about you such as your name or your age, they did know what you looked like.
Staying in Ravka would have been dangerous. You couldn't go to Fjerda, they were searching for you there as well. And you definitely didn't want to go to Shu Han. Novyi Zem seemed like the place people went to if they wanted to settle down. So, Kerch seemed like your best option.
You didn't even stop by the inn to collect your bag, knowing soon people would come to see who had fired a gun in the streets of a small town.
Instead, you went straight for Os Kervo, to get on a ship. Luckily, it wasn't a long journey, and it is still early in the morning when you arrive at the docks.
You walk around, trying to find a ship that is headed for Ketterdam and willing to take you with them, and ignoring the throbbing pain in your head. After trying three captains, the fourth one agrees to take you aboard. But only if you work on your way.
Deciding it is probably the best offer you would get, you accept.
You spend your time at sea scrubbing the floors, cleaning the glasses, fixing things and making sure the crew has enough water to drink. Part of you is a bit disappointed you have to work. You'd only been on a ship once before, and you hoped you could enjoy the sea. But the captain makes sure there are enough chores for you.
The journey takes a couple of days, but eventually you finally make it to Ketterdam, eager to get off the ship and explore the city.
You heard a lot of stories about Ketterdam, mostly hushed conversations in pubs. They were all bad. People claimed the ones that went to Ketterdam only visited the city to have fun. And by have fun they meant drinking, gambling, and visiting the pleasure houses.
But you didn't care about that. You are interested in the gangs. Most of the people who didn't like Ketterdam blamed it on the many gangs that ruled the streets. You knew the city was supposed to be controlled by the Stadwatch, but you also knew how easy it was to bribe someone with money or knowledge.
The more stories you heard about Ketterdam, the more curious you got.
When you get off the ship after thanking the captain, you take a look around you. The docks you arrived on are crawling with people.
Rich people who want to have fun, young kids with dirty faces holding out their hands for money, people waiting for loved ones to get off the ships that are arriving. You're eagerly watching all the kinds of people you pass.
As you're making your way through the crowd, you spot a few people going the opposite way. You watch them closely as they approach the rich tourists, talking about the best places to eat and offering a place to stay.
The tourists seem pleased by all the attention, but you've been taught to look at people a little differently. You see how one of the people talking to the tourists shakes a hand and slips the rich man's watch off of his wrist.
You smile to yourself as you continue walking. Ketterdam seemed like fun to you. It would be ideal for someone like you, with the skills you have and the knowledge you carry with you.
When you're out of the swarm of people on the docks, you pull out your money bag. It wasn't much, but it may be enough for a room. You start walking around the city, looking for a place to sleep that wasn't too expensive.
You try every inn you find, but with the small amount of money you have, you would only be able to rent a room for a couple of nights.
It's getting late when you enter a street with a lot of pubs. Laughter and music pours out into the street through the open doors and windows. You smile as you listen to the sounds of the night, ignoring the ache in your feet and the pain in your head.
You stop at a promising looking pub. As you're about to keep on walking, you notice a sign, telling you they have rooms you can rent. And for a reasonable price. You'd be able to rent a room for at least a couple of weeks.
You step into the pub, ignoring a man who cheerfully invites you to his table. You make for the bar and signal to the bartender.
'I saw you have rooms I can book for a couple of weeks?' you say to him.
He nods at you. 'You're lucky. Only got one left. Right above the entrance. It'll be noisy, but it's good.' he says.
'I'll take it.' you say.
The bartender nods again and reaches for something underneath the bar. Instinctively, you rest a hand on your revolver that's hidden beneath your coat. He doesn't even seem fazed by it. Maybe it's part of being Kerch.
'I'm just reaching for the keys.' he says in a calm voice.
And indeed, when he reaches out his hand, he throws a key on the bar. You let go of your revolver and reach for you money bag instead. You take the keys and hand him the money.
'This should be enough for a couple of weeks.' you say.
'Enjoy your stay.' he says, returning to serving drinks.
You look at the room number, seven. After asking someone for directions, you find the stairs that lead to the rooms.
When you get to the first floor, you see that your room is indeed right above the entrance. You unlock the door and are met by a small room.
There's only room for a bed, a small closet and a tiny desk. The bathroom is not as clean as you hoped it would be, but you'd stayed in worse rooms. And after all, you hadn't expected much from Ketterdam. For now you're just glad you have a place to sleep.
You shrug off your coat and boots, and place all of you weapons on the desk. You step into the small bathroom to wash the dried blood off of your face and comb your hair with your fingers.
After locking the door, you open the window a little. You lay down on the bed and listen to the sounds outside until you fall asleep. You already wondered what Ketterdam could offer you.
A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Hereâs the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please donât repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit
#new series incoming !!!!!#kaz brekker#shadow and bone#grishaverse#Kaz Brekker x reader#kaz brekker fanfic#Kaz Brekker fanfics#Kaz Brekker fanfiction#Kaz Brekker fic#Kaz Brekker fics#shadow and bone fics#shadow and bone fanfics#shadow and bone fanfic#shadow and bone fanfiction#shadow and bone fic#new in town
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Unexpected Allies - Chapter 5
Fandom: Six of Crows
Pairing: future Kaz!femaleReader (although he def fucks up in this chpater)
Warnings: a lot of talk about death and war
Summary:Â Secrets are shared on the carriage ride out of town
Note: I edited this once I realized I left my placeholder name in the story >.< I always use a random name when Iâm writing a series and then change to Y/N but it was midnight and I forgot.
Jesper told Kaz and Y/N to stay in the carriage and for once Kaz listened to his subordinate. Y/N needed to stay hidden and someone had to protect her. Not that she really needed protecting, not by him at least. If she had wanted to she could pick and chose which way she wanted to kill him. Hell, she could do it 3 different ways if she chose. But the look in her eyes when Kaz moved to get out of the carriage and join Jesper had given him pause, so he sat back down and stared at her.
"You can ask you know," she said finally, once she had calmed. Kaz felt the adrenaline drain from his body and he sat back in the seat, looking down at his cane between his legs. His eyes drifted to their knees, so close together but he could see while his was moving with the carriage hers was frozen. She was holding it still, thinking about him and what he needed again. Why? Why did she care so much about him and his issues? Others noticed how he avoided touch, noticed the gloves, the way he didn't reach out to help anyone no matter what, but they didn't protect him from it, in fact some of them used it against him. They died of course but they tried to use it. Inej had sometimes tried to protect him but not like this. Y/N had thrown her body into the way and held back a crowd of drunk gamblers trying to save themselves just to let him stand up again.
"You didn't let anyone touch me...not even yourself," he said, recalling her catching herself in the carriage and making sure again that she didn't touch him. He looked at their knees again and held his breath, moving his knee to touch hers gently. She looked at him, seeing his clenched jaw, his other hand in a fist by his side.
"Don't," she said flatly, making Kaz look at her. She had her eyes closed, head tilted back. He once again didn't know what she was thinking. "I know how hard prison must have been for you. I'm not sure where your issue with touch comes from but hell, I'm not going to let you pass out in a crowded room that's on fire. I will protect you Kaz." She finally looked at him and he saw the bare truth in her eyes. For the first time her eyes hid nothing, she meant exactly what she said.
"Why?" he asked, not sure what exactly made him so appealing to her. She let out a frustrated noise. He narrowed his eyes, not liking her getting angry at him.
"Kaz Brekker, you are needed in the resistance. I know you don't want to be there, you just want your crew and want to leave, but you are needed. Desperately. And even if you weren't needed I would still protect you. I spent months learning about you, watching you, and I, dammit, I feel something for you and even if you could never feel like that for me I'm damn sure not going to let you get hurt. Enough people I care about have been killed because I didn't do enough to protect them. I will never let it happen again," she said. For a moment Kaz stayed silent, letting her calm down. He knew of her watching him, knew of her feelings. He thought about how he couldn't feel that way for her, or anyone, when a small voice in his head came bubbling up and said one small word. Liar.
"The resistance doesn't need me. It needs heroes," he said. "I sure as hell am not a hero." He would ignore what else she had said, not sure how to address it right now. He needed time to digest it before he dove into everything she had revealed.
"Heroes are the last thing the resistance needs. Heroes lost the civil war, trying to be a hero lost me everything, we need a thief, someone who can sneak in, pick all the locks to the Darkling's room and slit any throat that tries to stop them. They need you," she said. They stared at each other again and Kaz was overcome for a moment with the urge to take her into his arms and hold her, but a moment after the thought occurred to him the familiar feeling of revulsion rose in his chest. He shook off the feeling and leaned his elbows to his knees.
"What happened to make me what the resistance needs? What in the hell happened to Alina Starkov that you blame yourself for?" he demanded, tired of the secrets she was keeping. She sat back, looking up at the ceiling of the carriage. He saw the tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she tried to fight them. Despite the feeling of revulsion lingering Kaz forced his knee to touch hers again. This time she let him, lost in her own past.
"You figured I was a double agent for Alina's followers. I was easily a favorite of Aleksander's, the Darkling's, because when I was younger I would follow him around like a puppy. I had a crush on him as a child and he humored me. By the time Alina came along I was seeing the cracks in his armor. I mean, he was called the Darkling, his betrayal shouldn't have been that surprising. So when Alina ran she asked me to stay behind, she attacked me, making sure it looked like I had chosen Aleksander over her. I instantly gained his trust that way. He kept me by his side and I would feed small bits of information with Alina. Not everything of course, I couldn't be too obvious. If Aleksander wasn't going to be at a battle I didn't report it. Or if Aleksander was going to be there but not Alina I let it go. I hated that, so many died because I had to pretend to be faithful to a madman, but it was the only way to make sure that Alina was safe."
Y/N took a deep breath, looking at Kaz and seeing the question in his eyes. She knew he thought the same as everyone else in the Little Palace. She couldn't possibly be second in command based on talent or skill. Large women weren't really smart, they couldn't possibly think of anything more than food. She had been underestimated because of her size her entire life and she normally didn't care, she used it as motivation to prove everyone wrong no matter what they thought she did. But she cared that Kaz knew the truth.
"Go ahead, ask me how I kept my position so secure," she said. She felt Kaz's knee stiffen and looked at them touching. This small action must be taking a lot out of him mentally and she appreciated it, but she didn't want him to feel she was taking advantage so she curled her legs under her body on the seat, making sure he had space. She saw him relax again but he didn't look pleased.
"I'm sure many think you kept your position by climbing into bed with him," he said. She barked a harsh laugh.
"I wish everyone thought of me in such a way, that I somehow could seduce my way to the top," she said. "Some may think that, but most think Aleksander uses me because my Inferni powers are so strong. I am the closest he could get to another Sun Summoner. But I still had to prove myself."
"You betrayed Alina?" he asked. She let one single tear fall then, wiping it quickly.
"She told me to, I had to betray her people. She let me know where Zoya would be, thinking that he would go easy on her since she was once his favorite. What Alina didn't know was that Nikolai would be there. The Darkling didn't hesitate, he cut through both of them and suddenly he took everything I told him as law. I paid for his trust with blood," she said. She now was just letting herself cry, it was pointless to try and stop it. Kaz probably thought she was weak but right now she didn't care. He wasn't going to stick around long after they got to the Permafrost anyway, she shouldn't care at all what he thought. "The worst though, was when he figured out that someone was leaking information. He suddenly didn't trust any of us now, so I had to figure out something. I couldn't get a note out to Alina but I knew she and Darkling were going to meet near Keramzin and I also knew she wouldn't want me to blow my cover so I kept quiet. He took all of us with him, it was almost poetic that they were going to face off near where she grew up. During the fighting she was captured by the Darkling. I was going to intervene, she saw me starting to move and she held up her hands and shook her head. There was already a small force gathering in the north and she didn't want to risk them being lost with her so I stood down and he killed her. Then he turned to me and smiled." She shuttered and finally looked at Kaz.
"Its not your fault," he said after a minute of silence. She smiled sadly at him. "She knew what was happening, she wanted you to live. She took care of you, like a sister." He looked at the floor of the carriage, a fair away look on his face.
"When was your brother killed?" she asked. He didn't have to answer but she wanted him to know that she would listen to him like he had listened to her. He just shook his head.
"Well that's two of your secrets I have discovered tonight," he said. Y/N sat up straighter, realizing her mistake. He was trying to worm his way in for her secrets, something to hold as leverage. He did in fact know her two deepest secrets now. Saints she was an idiot letting her mouth run ragged for him.
"I suppose you want to hear about the powers too?" she asked, folding her arms and moving closer to the door of the carriage. Kaz just nodded. Well he already knew about them so she might as well say it. "I don't know why I can do more than a normal Grisha, its just how I was born. There now you have all my secrets to use at your will. Enjoy." She turned to look out at the road seeing the sun slowly rising in the distance.
She knew Kaz Brekker's reputation, knew what kind of man he was, had even promised herself that she would keep him at a distance and in a few short hours he had picked his way back into her heart. The worst part was he barely had to do anything at all, a forced smile and a little dance, just so that he would have something to hold over her. He knew her greatest asset and her greatest failure and the worst part was that she still wanted to tell him more. She was getting angrier at herself by the second. She was about to take that anger out on her carriage companion but there was a loud crack and the wheel went flying, sending the carriage into a ditch. The last thing Y/N saw was Kaz bracing himself for impact before she hit her head and was unconscious.
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Never say never - Chapter 13
Here's a new chapter of my main story (I forgot to go on posting lol)
Fandom: RPF- Richard Armitage
Characters : OC x RA
Rating : Mature
Warnings : RPF (and factually incorrect and very soppy)
°13° Â~Victoria~
She had expected questions and intrusive crowding, but her friends and their friends, sat motionless around the table still. Victoria saw that they had unpacked every single book and movie she had bought and put them into piles, though she could not discern the logic governing the separate piles.
âHave a nice chat?â Liza asked after a moment of Victoria just standing in the door, wordless, chewing on her lower lip.
Victoria, in turn, gave an assenting grunt and handed Martin back his phone with a grateful smile.
âMore information, please?â Angie demanded, crossing her legs, and putting her folded hands upon them like a school mistress ready to listen to the recitation of a particularly hopeless student. Victoria bristled.
She had to dig her heels into the floor to keep herself from turning around and fleeing the room. Adulthood somehow boiled down to the absence of the heavy, constraining hand at the back of her neck, and Victoria had a tendency to bolt every chance that she got. Afterwards, she always felt ashamed because she knew that she had not solved anything by just leaving a situation in which she felt uncomfortable, but she had not learned how to face her instincts and overcome them.
For her, it had always been a matter of being able to follow her reflexes or being forced to go against them.
It pained her to discover that her instincts were all wrong and, what was worse, not only did they neither soothe nor protect Victoria herself, no, they also usually ended up hurting someone else.
âWeâŚwe talked. I said heâs welcome to come here if he cares to. He said heâd help me set up any other furniture I might need.â She felt and sounded sheepish, Victoria knew, but she didnât know how to make that very normal conversation sound like the outrageous exchange of dark confessions the others apparently expected.
âOh, so Iâve been made redundant? And I had hoped youâd let me watch the movie with you.â Hiddleston winked at her.
Big breath, Victoria told herself, this was good, this was healthy, donât run, stand your ground.
âYouâre welcome here, little fairy-lord. You can come watch the movie with me.â She said in a tiny voice.
âOh goodie good good, we have made piles of movies we want to watch along with youâŚon your fancy new TVâŚâ Angie clapped her hands and, finally, Victoria understood the piles. âYou naughty girl, you.â Liza laughed.
âNaughty?â Victoria blinked. She did not see why she would be naughty for watching movies. Had her father been right, and they corrupted the impeccable morals he had tried to instil in her? Were movies the devilâs dark corruption after all?
Martin had called it âpornâ, she remembered, and a cold shiver ran down her spine.
âWhat are you talking about? Have I done something wrong?â Panic seeped into her voice now and she was starting to feel a little dizzy. She knew that Liza sometimes made crude jokes, but up to this point, she had never been the butt of these jokes.
âLiza!â Angie hissed, rushing to Victoriaâs side to soothe her with shushing noises and tender caresses. âShe doesnât know what sheâs talking about.â She said, but Victoria could hear that she was lying, as noted before, Angie was a terrible liar.
âYeah, low blow, Iâm sorry. So, what else does Armitage say?â Liza lifted her hands apologetically and leaned back in her chair, knowing that Victoria would most probably shrink back from her if she was to approach right now.
âHe wanted to go over some comments in the script with me. We might meet up if he finds the time. I gave him my number.â Victoria narrated in an emotionless voice; her mind still occupied by the accusation of being a naughty girl.
Angie threw a look at her wife that was so earth-shatteringly severe that Liza didnât even dare make a face at that. Unfortunately, Jenna had not picked up on it and so, still snacking on the pizza crust, she asked: âReally? You gave him your number? Cute.â
Victoria stared at her for a solid 2 minutes; her mouth was bone-dry, and her tongue seemed to be glued to her teeth. She barely heard the warning hiss Angie gave her employee. Her head was spinning; she was entering territories of supposition and innuendo she was painfully unfamiliar with, and it scared her.
âCute?â She gasped, feeling the tears of helpless perplexity burn behind her eyes, ready to spill over. Victoria had never given this number to any man, because the last time she had given a man her private telephone number, she had had another number, she had lived in another city, she had led a very different life.
âItâs not like that. Itâs professional.â She tried to defend herself weakly. It was true, she had met that man twice in her life, and both times, it had been with Liza in the context of that ludicrous side-job she had accepted to keep busy.
On the other hand, she was a single woman and, as far as she knew, he was a single man. She was a recent divorcee; he had never been married. He had slept with a thousand and one nameless women in his lifeâŚand she had only ever had one sexual partner and had never expected having to think about another one.
âFuck.â She cursed. There were no Saints that came to mind to call upon in this situation. She should have trusted her gut feeling and pull out of this whole story while she was ahead; she should have left this first evening right away and never return to that damn room. She should have kept her door closed tightly.
âItâs okay, Iâm sorryâŚIâm sure that he knows that itâs strictly professional.â Jenna tried to calm her, but her eyes were wide and worried now.
âOH! Will he? Iâve invited the man into my home, havenât I? Like Delilah to Samson, oh LordâŚâ Victoria groaned, all of her compounded trauma harrowing her to the brink of tears once again. What would he think of her? Did he believe that she wanted to throw herself at him like a common prostitute? Did he expect that? Would he be violent if she refused?
If he thought that her intentions had been indecent, surely, he would not try to contact her in any way or form, would he?
âLikeâŚVic, do you intend to seduce him and cut his magicâŚhair?â Liza mocked, but when she saw the expression Victoriaâs face, she fell silent instantly. She waved Hiddleston and Martin aside, feeling that they should not draw attention to themselves.
âVic,â she pleaded, âlook at me, girl. Itâs okay, youâre safe. It was a dumb joke, nothing more.â
Liza knew that she had gone too far too fast; Victoria was in her living room while it was dark outside, together with 4 people who were attracted to women and yet, she had only made the connection once Armitage had been mentioned.
Devout and faithful, Victoria had only ever known the man she had married, in the biblical sense, and it had been overzealous of her to believe that she might take another lover so easily. There were too many things to unravel before.
âWhat have I done?â Victoria sobbed and the dam broke; hot tears broke their way out of her system, and she cried pitifully for a few minutes straight, shaking so much that her teeth clattered as if she was standing naked in the snow.
âVictoria? Is there anything I can do for you? You can talk to me.â Hiddleston offered and his calm demeanour managed to pacify her enough to shake her head slowly. âI have acted abominably. IâŚjust canât do anything right.â She croaked.
âThat is not true. Youâve been frightened and overwhelmed at first, but youâve been a kind hostess tonight. We had fun this afternoon, didnât we? What is it that upsets you so?â Hiddleston took her hands and brushed his thumbs lightly across them in slow, gentle circles.
âWhat does that poor man think of me now? He will believe I am completely insane!â Victoria lamented, tears still running down her cheeks in regular intervals. âNo, he wonât. Heâs not a monster. We all can see that youâve been through some things, but weâre here to make it better. And, as you said, itâs strictly professional. Iâm sure he knows that.â
Hiddleston exchanged a look with Martin. Richard knew, but that didnât prevent him from maybe hoping that one day, it wouldnât be so. As far as one could make any assumptions based on Victoriaâs erratic behaviour, she seemed half scared to death that it might turn into something that wasnât all that professional anymore as well.
âYouâve had a stressful day, why donât we leave you alone? Iâm surprisingly free the next few days, so if you want me to, I can swing by tomorrow and while I go have my picture taken, you can choose some more furniture. And then, we finish the movie? What about that?â He coaxed her into calming down until a puffy face and a pathetic hiccup were all that remained of her passionate outburst. âYes, Iâd like that. We can go have cakes in the afternoon?â Victoria replied.
It was easy to like Hiddleston, and that discovery surprised and amazed her. He was kind and unobtrusive; he had a good sense of humour, and, most importantly, she was in no way attracted to him.
Oh, he was glorious, there was no denying that, but he reminded her too much of that friend she had dreamt up as a child â when she had lain in bed, lonely as can be â to be in any way titillating to her. He made her wish that she wasnât an only child; he made her long for siblings, for someone to go to for advice and solace.
Never would she look at him like Jenna did: with big, longing cow-eyes that were starry with wordless adulation.
Vicâs mind slammed on the brakes again. Jenna did stare at that man like he had literally just fallen from the sky and, when Vic had proposed to go to the tearooms, her breath had stumbled for a second there.
Jenna had a crush on Lizaâs friend.
Victoria was utterly baffled. Were things that easy in the normal world? Did people just meet someone handsome and kind, and then allowed their heart to leap into their eyes? Victoria could not fathom being that brazen and reckless.
âHeâs right. Letâs retreat. Iâm sorry, Vic.â Liza shooed the others out of the room. âGood night, dear Victoria. Thanks for the pizza. I hope we can be friends now.â Martin spoke gently as if to a sick child or to a fretful mare.
âSorry for being such a mess. Yes, sure we can be friends. Thank you so much for the poppets.â She picked them up gingerly as she followed the others out of the room and turned off the lights in the living room.
âNot the kind of plastic dick people usually keep next to their bed.â Liza mumbled under her breath, which made Victoria skewer her with a scandalised, speechless look. âSorry, it was too good to miss out on. You know, becauseâŚâ
Victoria lifted her eyebrows in an expression of annoyed impatience; the joke went completely over her head.
âRichard is abbreviated Dick. You knowâŚâ Liza wagged her head from side to side to make very clear that she was only making a very tasteless joke and not attacking Victoria in any way. âFunny.â Victoria commented, her face so stern and forbidding that she would have given Armitage and Macfadyen a run for their money.
âThey will not be kept next to my bedâŚonce I get the proper dĂŠcor for them.â Victoria then snarled. âDĂŠcor?â Martin was interested by that comment, his hand on the doorhandle already but his face turned to Victoria, eager to hear how she would proceed.
âI guess Iâll have to go to the pet shop to get a proper set-up where theyâd feel at ease.â Victoria shrugged.
âTheyâre inanimate dolls.â Liza cried out, horrified at the idea that her friend would procure a cave and a hobbit-hole for two toys. âTheyâre the only friends I have now.â Victoria shot back with a dark smile.
âAh, come on. I love you, girl. You know that I love you, donât you? Iâd never want to do you harm.â Liza smiled warmly, hugging Victoria to her chest, and breathing in her warm, clean smell. âGo to bed.â She breathed and left.
And so, Victoria went upstairs with her poppets, laying them gently on the pillow next to hers before getting ready for bed. She brushed her hair and her teeth, applied creams and serums, and put her clothes in the laundry basketâŚonly to return to an empty bedroom. For all anybody cared, she could have gone to bed dirty and dishevelled; nobody would ever have known.
Shaking her head, she dispelled those thoughts forcefully. She had made progress today, she had opened her home to other people, and she had taken two different, hasty, and informal meals with them. She was not sure that her friends were aware of the fact that she had never lived alone before in her life and that those experiences were completely new to her, but she felt the excitement of having had acquaintances over.
A couch, she would buy a proper couch for her little sanctuary so more people could come and enjoy movies with her.
She was on the right track, she could feel it, and so she fell asleep, her poppets next to her, with a blissful smile.
~Richard~
He was an idiot. He had nothing to do the next few days, but he had made it sound as if he was terribly busy.
She had assumed that, and he had been too proud to clear the misunderstanding up, which made it only fair that now, the ball was in his court, and he would have to contact Victoria to plan aâŚmeeting.
He would not call it a âdateâ, because first of all, it wasnât a date, and second, he didnât want to play into the hands of Martin and Elizabeth who had been aiming for that kind of thing apparently.
She had sounded breathless but not as hostile as before tonight. She had given him her number and he couldnât stop fidgeting with the paper; by now, he had saved her number in his phone and on his laptop, just in case that he reduced the poor note to dust by handling it so much.
What would he say though? Should he give her a call or just text? He had said heâd text her, but he wanted to be on the phone with her again; it seemed that they were doing alright on the phone even though she frequently checked out of the conversation to talk to other people.
By now, the others were certainly goneâŚNo, he would not call her again when he had nothing new to tell her. He wondered if she would have reached out if she had his number; women were usually better at that than men.
Sexist, cool, he was going insane at a rapid pace. Pictures of her, kneeling on the floor and praying to her various saints to protect her from whatever it was that haunted her so, rose inside his mind; he wondered if she slept in long, flowing, weirdly anachronistic nightgowns or if she went to bed in an old ratty sweatshirt. Both had their own appeal.
God, it was late, and his mind was wandering in all the wrong directions. He would not think of her in bed, he had no reason or right to do so, she had not given him any cause or encouragement to take that path down a very slippery slope, but he could not forget the small moans he had caught now and again.
Of course, they might have been groans of exasperation and impatience, but even so, there was something within him, deep beneath the parts of his mind he had any control over, that had responded ferociously to the breathless sound.
Maybe, he should just get it over with and send her one of those texts that only informed her of his numberâŚ
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There was a writer!sander fic that i started a little while ago but didnât know where to go with it. So, I decided to post it here đ¤ˇââď¸
I might continue it...? idk. but let me know what you think :)Â
I ran into my local bookshop, the bell notifying my entrance as I swung open the heavy wooden door.
I had made sure to set my alarm extra early for that morning, giving myself enough time to get there before I had to make my way to work. There was a book that I had been waiting what felt like years for, and I wanted to pick it up as soon as humanly possible.
âHas it come?â I asked excitedly, rushing over to the front desk and locking eyes with an amused ZoĂŤ
She was used to my erratic behaviour by now, becoming desensitised to my hyperactive persona that I don whenever a new book comes out.
Not that I do it with every book. Of course, I love most things that come out, burying my nose in anything that I possibly can. But nothing gets me quite as excited as the books by Earthling Oddity.
Nobody knew this unknown authorâs real name, or what they looked like. The air of mystery obviously created a lot of hype, gaining them a lot of followers trying to crack the code and reveal the hidden identity. What really made them popular, though, was the magical way they created stories.
I was always completely enraptured by the words written on the pages. Becoming engrossed in the fictional world they created and riding out the waves of emotions that came with the storylines.
They had come out with a new book recently, a new addition to one of their series, and I had been patiently (except not really. Unless pacing up and down the flat and checking my phone constantly for updates was considered as being patient) for it to be delivered to my bookstore.
âItâs hereâ ZoĂŤ replied, sounding amused âI reserved one for you, even though I knew you would be the first one in here todayâ
She reached underneath the desk and produced the long-awaited book
I stared at it in awe, admiring the bright colours and detailed art on the front cover.
âWowâ I breathed out, smiling
âYou looking forward to reading it?â
I tore my eyes away from the book and looked up at her, squinting my eyes slightly âSeriously? I have been counting down the days for this book! Of course, Iâm looking forward to finally being one step closer to unravelling the mystery that lies between the pagesâŚâ
She chuckled as I lifted my hand to tenderly stroke the front cover âShould I leave you two alone?â
âNo, thatâs okâ I said, picking it up and placing it gently in my backpack âI have to get going anywayâ
âOk, well keep me updated on it!â
I walked backward towards the door, grinning âHourly updates are a givenâ
***
âWhy are you carrying your bag so carefully?â Jana asked me curiously as I got to work
I had placed it gently on the ground in the back room with my coat, not wanting to damage the valuable contents lying inside of it.
âSeriously Jana? Itâs got the book that Iâve been waiting months forâ
Realisation washed over her face. I had been talking her ear off about it for a number of shifts. The amount of information she had actually been listening to and retaining would forever be a mystery, but she let me talk all the time without much judgement so that was the main thing.
âAah ok, that makes more senseâ
I pulled my apron over my head âWhat did you think was in there?â
She shrugged as she went back to stacking food in the display case âJudging by the way you were handling it, I thought for sure there was a bomb in thereâ
I shook my head at her amusedly âSo your co-worker has a bomb, and you donât do a thing to stop it? The least you could have done was taken my bagâ
âWe have a full shift ahead of us, Robbeâ she deadpanned âExcuse me for not having much pep right now. I want to move as little as possible and retain the small amount of energy I have stored. Wrestling a bomb from you would probably take everything I hadâ
âOh, come on. Shifts here arenât that badâ
She raised her eyebrows at me âGo out all night drinking before our next shift and then tell me that againâ
We both worked at a coffee shop in town. I actually quite enjoyed it. Being able to chat with people and brighten their day with coffee and cakes was a nice feeling.
Of course, it wasnât something I wanted to do forever. Film making was my passion, the thing that I aspired to do in the future. Maybe even make some adaptations of Earthlingâs books. Who knows? But, for now at least, I had to make do with making drinks.
Unlike me, Jana really did not like her job. She liked interacting with the customers, being the social butterfly she is, but the part where she actually had to serve and clean was never really something she enjoyed doing.
If I got paid every time she moaned when cleaning down the tables, there would be no need for this job. I would be rolling in money. She always claimed that it was manual labour, and she was going to sue the company for it. It did make me wonder what she thought would happen when she signed up for the job, but I never dared ask as she was always in a mood. It was best not to make things worse and just nod along.
âSo, that book you haveâ she said âThatâs the one with the mystery author, right?â
I nodded âYep, they use a pen name. Lots of people have obviously tried to step forward and claim to be the author but the real one has yet to be revealed. If they ever will be. Fame isnât for everyone, so I wouldnât blame them for keeping hidden and basking silently in the glory of their writingâ
âArenât you curious about who it is?â she asked me
âWell, yeahâ I replied âI have always wondered who it is. I would love to be able to properly give my gratitude to the person that created such wonderful books⌠but I wouldnât go out of my way to try and drag someone into the spotlight that doesnât want to be thereâ
Many people on the internet have been trying to do exactly that. I have never understood why. Sure, you want to be the one to solve this giant question. But if it involves having to invade someoneâs private life and tear down all the security and boundaries, they have built around them in order to remain anonymous, why would you want to do that?
What does revealing a random strangerâs identity add to your life? Nothing. It wouldnât make you best friends with this person. In fact, you would probably end up as public enemy number one. Snooping in other peopleâs business isnât cute, itâs creepy. Especially when they go out of their way to hide it.
The customers began flooding in. People coming in for their takeaway cups of coffee to beat away the morning tiredness. Mondayâs were always especially bad. The weekend always wipes people out. Combining that with five days left of work looming over their head, a constant reminder of the seemingly never-ending week ahead of them, anyone would be exhausted.
Then, after a while, I spotted a familiar head of bleach blonde head of hair among the crowd out the corner of my eye.
âRobbeâ I heard Jana hiss beside me as I continued making drinks for the awaiting customers âHeâs here!â
Sander was a regular at the shop. He would always come in with an easy smile on his face and instantly brighten my day.
He was one of the most beautiful people I had ever laid my eyes on. Not only that, but he was also incredibly kind. Always dishing out compliments and making conversation with us while he patiently waited for his order. He has even defended us a couple of times when customers have been rowdy and impatient during the rush hours. Sander was just an all-round saint.
Jana knew that I had a small crush on him. I never told her outright, but she saw the way my face lit up whenever he was around and joined the dots herself.
I waited until he got to the front of the line and greeted him with a shy smile, trying not to blush like I normally did
âHey, Robbe!â he said, grinning âHow are you this morning?â
âIâm goodâ I squeaked âWill it be your usual, today?â
Ok, so maybe small crush was a bit of an understatement. He always seemed to make me tongue tied and act like a complete idiot. Which was a great way to act in front of someone you want to impress.
He nodded âYou know me so well. Either that or I am in here too oftenâ
âNonsense!â Jana called to him âWe love having you in here, Sander⌠some more than othersâ she muttered under breath, meaning only for me to hear it
As I was making his drink (a chocolate mocha â which was basically just a fancy coffee with chocolate, always with whipped cream on top) he leaned against the counter, making light conversation with Jana and me. He never seemed aware that we were at work and that he might be holding up the queue. Not that there were many of them at that moment. He had come just at the right time, most of the people filing out and going to their jobs.
âSo, did that book come that you were talking about?â he asked me
âUm, yeahâ I was surprised he remembered. I had made an offhand remark about it a few weeks back. But then, he always did seem to pick up on small details like that often âI got it this morning before I came to work. The first thing Iâm going to do when I get out of here is run home to read itâ
âReally?â he said, sounding faintly surprised âYou are that eager to read it?â
I turned towards him, placing the steaming cup of coffee on the tray next to the croissant Jana got for him.
âWell, Iâve been waiting for it for so long⌠it takes priority over everything else as far as Iâm concernedâ
âYou know Robbeâ Jana said teasingly from beside me, jabbing me lightly in the side âforever a bookwormâ
Sander smiled as he picked up the tray from the counter âWhen I come back, youâll have to tell me how youâre finding itâ
Just as I was about to reply, Jana jumped in âHeâll only have good things to say. Heâs obsessed with this author, wonât shut up about them. Itâs kind of annoying actuallyâ
He smirked âMaybe Iâll have to check them outâ
âYou should!â I told him enthusiastically âTheir works are amazing. Even if you arenât really into reading, this person can have you drawn in with just a page of their writingâ
âI donât doubt that, Iâm sure you have impeccable tasteâ Sander said, winking at me
He often did that but even after weeks of seeing it, I was still blown away each time. He always seemed to take my breath away without even trying.
Sander made his way over to a table, placing his tray down and taking out his small black notebook as normal. It was his daily routine and moved like clockwork every time. I donât think there has been a single day he has come in when he hasnât been scribbling away dedicatedly in there, pen moving furiously across the paper.
I was always curious about what he was doing in it, but never dared ask. It could be something deeply personal and private, I wouldnât want to invade his comfort zone like that.
He was in his own world when he wrote. As soon as the book was opened it was like a protective bubble opened up around him, blocking out anyone and everything from his work. If we wanted to ask if he wanted a refill or anything else to eat, it would take a few tries to get his attention. Sander manages to block it out so easily.
Although it was a similar thing when I read. It was like escaping to another realm where nobody could reach you. Like a haven that you could take shelter in and escape from all your problems, if only for a short amount of time.
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Nine Months -Ben Chilwell
October 2019
Ben found himself in nightclub in London and because it was Halloween it was the perfect excuse for the girls to dress up as sluts. Ben couldnât help but crinkle his nose up at some of the girls, who was practically not leaving anything to the imagination. He looked at the girls that James and Demarai invited over. His eyes roamed around and saw a girl who looked gorgeous, she was in a cow girl, wearing short shorts and knee high cow print boots.
He decided to take his chance and walk towards the girl. He felt his heart rate rise as his eyes met with hers, and she was definitely even more goodlooking up close. He offered to by her a drink which she instantly agreed. The pair talked and drank and danced and had a good time. He learned her name was YN which was the perfect name for a stunning girl like her.
James appeared and introduced himself as Benâs âwing manâ which she instantly sassed that he wasnât a good one then as he came over by himself. James making a cheeky comment about Ben bagging a cow girl because they are good at riding, which instantly made her fake gag at his awful joke.
The two of of them decided to leave the club and call it a night. They both went back to YNâs place and into bed together.
November 2019
It had been a month since Ben walked out on her the next morning as if he had never been there. The two did swap numbers and YN didnât want to be the one to slide into his DMs. But hadnât stopped her friends for telling her everything the guy seems to do. Whether he has got a goal for Leicester or if he has got into the England call up.
It was mid November when YN started to feel alittle funny, her friend instantly telling her to take a pregnancy test which she does was complaining all the way through. Sat on her bed with her bed friend beside her she felt like her whole world had just paused and in slow motion as she looked at the two lines that means positive she was pregnant. She felt herself getting nervous as she questioned how she was going to tell Ben. Should she even tell him?
YN was pacing outside of Wembley stadium where England played, everytime the door opened she looked like a little meerkat hoping to find Ben walking towards the coach. But nothing. He was one of the last ones out, he was laughing and joking with a brunette guy with loads of freckles covering his face and a olive skinned toned guy with a cross earring.
âBenâ she calls reaching out for him.
He instantly recognised her, he told the guys to go without him, his hand was in hers as he distanced them away from the fans.
âWhy did you just up and bolt?â She mutters. âWas I just a quick shag for you, wasnât I good enough?â She rambles.
His face softens. âI was late, I had a meeting that dayâ he explained.
She didnât believe him. He could of left a note to tell her or even wake her up, anything was better than leaving her high and dry.
She lets out a shaky breath before handing him the test. âJust thought you would like to know.. I donât want anything from youâ she says before turning hot on her heels and walking off.
He was about to chase after her but James appeared and told him to get on the bus.
December 2019
Ben was sat beside YN as she winced slightly as she felt the cold gel on her stomach. The midwife spoke to the two of them as she talked about mummy and baby classes that they could go to before the baby arrives. Asking the two whether they are going to find out what they were having or if they have any names ready. Ben noticed as she gave a blank look, he answering for her and getting the lady of their backs. The three of them looked at the monitor with a confused look as there was nothing there but the midwife knew exactly what she was looking at.
The two of them decided to go for coffee in the hospital, he walks with two hot chocolate and slides one over to her.
âWhy did you come?â YN questions.
His brows furrow at her. âBecause I donât want you to go through this alone, I know this was a drunken night out and neither of us planned this but I want to be there for you and my childâ he says softly. âIf youâll allow me that isâ he mutters.
She nods her head slowly before sipping her drink.
âWe should start thinking of telling familyâ he mutters as he sees her wince.
He held her hand before knocking on his parents door, they had already told YNâs parents and now it was time to meet the Chilwellâs. They were surprised when they saw their son wasnât alone, as they sat around the dining table YN couldnât help but feel awkward as they tried to find out the pretty female was to their son.
âIâm pregnantâ she announces, before see Benâs face scrunch up slightly wanting to announce it a little bit more delicately.
Their reacts was probably how you imagined, his mum jumped up and walked out leaving you with his sister and brother. The three of the stayed quiet as they heard them call her every name under the sun. As they left YN muttering a small âthat couldnât of went any more worseâ.
January 2020
YN was now four months into her pregnancy and Ben was always round when he wasnât training or at games. He started waiting on her hand and foot. He made sure that she had everything she needed in the house and catered to her craving.
The two of them had got to know each other more, wanting to have a better relationship as the two of them were always going to be connected with this little person.
The two sat on the sofa with the two bidding names that they liked.
âCurtis?â YN questioned.
âAbsolutely notâ Ben chuckled.
âI like Jamie for a girlâ YN announces.
âJamie Chilwellâ he says slowly before they both crinkled their noses and shook their heads.
âSaint?â Ben suggests.
YN bursts out laughing. âWeâre not boujee enough for thatâ
February 2020
Ben had told YN that she could live with him, not really wanting her living alone and being close whenever he needed him.
He had a girl round when YN came walking into the living room gushing that the baby has kicked. Ben instantly jumped up and ran towards her, his hands instantly on her growing stomach. The girl stayed sat on the sofa as she watched the two freeze as they waited for movement. There was a suddenly squeal coming from the two as Ben instantly sinks to his knees.
âThat was amazing, that was a big kickâ he gushed. âPracticing your free kicks buddyâ he giggles.
He has recently got in his head that the baby is a boy and started pushing his favourite names.
âSorry to interrupt but who is this?â The girl spoke up.
The two looking at, suddenly remembering that they werenât alone in and realising how weird this looked. Ben stepped away from YN and the bump as he looked awkward.
âIâm....â she starts.
âMy sister, sheâs my sisterâ he quickly cutting her off. YN raises her brows at him as he tells her to go to his bedroom and heâll meet her in their.
The girl smiles at YN and then walks down the hall.
âOh will me and the bump be your cock blockâ she rolls her eyes at her. âWear a condom this time, donât want to be in this mess againâ she sasses.
She sits in the kitchen alone as she hears everything the two is getting up to as she eats icecream from the tub.
March 2020
âAre you uncomfortable?â James instantly freaks as he sees her wince and runs her hand over her bump.
She shakes her head as she lets James guides her to sit down.
After the last month situation, they both spoke about Ben not bringing any girls back. It hurt YN even though she wouldnât admit it, she thought they were going well, even thought they could even try to be a thing. The two of them were so alike they even started finishing eachothers sentences.
âI need to get the nursery doneâ YN groans as James doesnât let her get up.
âYou need to take it slowâ he mutters. âLet Ben do itâ he says softly.
She instantly bursts into tears. âWhere is he? He missed the scanâ she cries, as he pulls her into him.
Ben comes waltzing through the door and sees his best mate with his baby mumma, he couldnât help but burst out laughing. Mentioning that before they jump into bed wait till this baby gets out. YN jumps up and barges past him before pushing the scan into his chest.
May 2020
The past two months James has been the middle person between YN and Ben, they have been arguing a lot more and YN has really began to hate Ben with him saying some really mean things to her. They learned that they were having a boy. Whenever YN needed something she didnât want anything from Ben, even though he was so desperate to help. Her comeback was to go to his latest slut.
James just wishing he could just banging their heads together and tell them to act like grown ups. He knew that they will be amazing parents but they needed to get on as they were on the same team.
âGuys the baby is coming in 2 months letâs get your shit togetherâ he sassed.
He looks at his friend gives him a stern look.
âYou are old enough to fuck and get pregnant, act your ageâ he mutters before leaving them.
Ben lets out a small sigh before sitting beside her. Her head going to his shoulder as they start having it out with eachother.
July 2020
âBABE!â YN calls in a panic tone which gets Ben running towards her voice. âMy waters-â she says.
He instantly starts panicking looking like a stressed sim. She held onto the sink as he panicked called his mum. He was surprised when he looked over at YN she was starting a bath. He helped her in the bath and relaxed in there and overcome a few of her contractions.
A few hours went by of YN relaxing at home and riding her contractions, Ben being completely on edge.
The Labour was a few hours and Ben instantly burst into tears as the midwife places the large baby on YNâs chest. YN let out a small crying laugh as she looks down at her little man. Ben kissing her forehead as he tells her how proud he was of her.
âLuke James Chilwellâ YN gushes.
They both gush over the little creation they made, the last crazy nine months completely forgotten about because it was now about the next eighteen years of being the best parents to this little guy. Neither of them would of believed when they were at that Halloween party that their lives would change forever.
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mini big bang!
written for the grishaverse mini big bang, run by @grishaversebigbang âÂ
Thanks to my other gang memberâs @punchsomeoneforme-willyou â and @6crowgang â for their amazing art!! (x)Â (x)
also known as i try to write crack. i also donât know how to dye things or what the slat is like or what the van eck manor is like or if they have the word goth in grishaverse. I also donât care. AND I donât know how to put cuts in tumblr posts iâm very sorry.
At the time, letting Nina give out the dares had felt like a good idea. Now Jesper wasnât sure he wanted to do any dare remotely involved with Kaz. She would have been better off getting Inej to do it, frankly. He was more suited to being a distraction â it was the charming personality no one could resist â and she was more suited to climbing into windows and sneaking around the slat. Theyâd been playing truth or dare and Ninaâs idea â and it was brilliant â had been to dye the entirety of Kazâs wardrobe a vibrant lime green. It would have their names written all over it of course, but that didnât mean it couldnât be fun.
The lime green dye, that Inej had flatly refused to tell him where she procured, was carefully balanced in his outside pockets. Due to the colour of said jacket, spilling it was hardly a catastrophe, but it might ruin the prank. With some flimsy excuses and much avoidance Jesper finally reached the room where Kaz slept. The wardrobe, he discovered as he opened it, was full of Kazâs typical black clothing. Saints, this would be hilarious. He frowned and pulled out a jacket of Kazâs and tossed it onto the bed. It wasnât exactly something you were ever taught â how to put dye onto clothing. Kazâs whole wardrobe consisted of the black tailored suits he insisted on wearing ironically to spite mercherâs or whatever. It was terribly boring in Jesperâs opinion.
He sighed and glanced at the jacket on the bed. According to Inej, you had to get a bucket of water (prepared by the Wraith herself), squirt the dye in and then the clothes followed. Inej hadnât sounded particularly sure. Eh, there wasnât much to lose. Pulling the dye from his pocket and unscrewing the lid, he somewhat carelessly emptied it into the bucket in front of him. The green of the dye fused seamlessly into the water, it looked like magic. Maybe it was. He hoped Inej could keep Kaz distracted for long enough, and dropped the first piece of clothing in. At this point he was stuck, again. Did you just leave the clothing in there? Take it out instantly? Who could say? Staring at it was unfortunately not going to yield him any answers.
He was pretty sure heâd heard somewhere you were supposed to stir it too, but there wasnât exactly anything to use. In the end, deciding heâd get the job done a bit quicker if he did three garments at a time, he just left each in for ten minutes. The first set didnât look all too bad. Aside from the fact they were soaking (Jesper had hung them up on hangers in various places on the top floor of the slat which was still mercifully quiet), they definitely looked like some form of green. After an hour of somewhat boring dyeing of clothes Jesper was satisfied Kaz had nothing left in his wardrobe that wasnât at least a little bit green. The boredom would be worth it for the look on his face, which Jesper would be preferably seeing from a distance.
Grinning, he made to leave but instantly stopped in his tracks. There were footsteps. Kaz. Followed by laughter. Not Kaz. He breathed a sigh of relief and popped his head around the door.
âInej?â He frowned as she and Nina reached the top of the stairs and slid past him into the room holding arms full of red and purple dye. âNina?â
âWe thought we should help,â Inej said, casting a pitying look at Kazâs room. âBut it looks like you have it covered.â Her eyes caught onto one of Kazâs suits, which was now drying and proving to be a very neon shade of green, and she burst out laughing. âHeâs going to me so mad.â Jesper and Nina both snorted.
âI would have liked to see him in a pink suit too,â Jesper mused, eyeing the dye Nina was holding. He scanned the room for something else to dye and found the stack of paper on Kazâs desk. Nina grinned.
âAnyone know how to dye paper?â she queried and went over to the stack. They did not, but the concept of Kaz sending all his letters and memos and doing his paperwork on bright pink paper was far too much of an opportunity to pass up. So they could at least try.
Nina tried squirting the dye on the paper. It didnât go well. Inej just dropped it straight in the bucket. That didnât yield much either. It was finally Jesper who tried using the sink and slowly dipping the paper into the dye. It truly was vibrant pink. Brilliant.
âPink paper is the only proper way to send threatening correspondence,â Nina remarked approvingly. Jesper turned to Inej, but she was gone. All that was left were a set of purple footprints where sheâd been.
âOh saints, Nina,â He pointed to them, and for a moment considered being concerned. But honestly, it just added to the joke. With a glance at his own shoes he realised they were coated in the garish green paint heâd begun with.
âYou know,â She said slowly, eyebrow raised, âThis, this could definitely be exploited.â Both red and pink dye was very abundantly on the side of Ninaâs boots. They were not experts in cautiousness, clearly. She ran out the room and back in, leaving reddish footprints in her wake. The wooden floor of the slat was in dire need of a spruce up.
The two of them followed Inejâs purple footprints down the trailing stairs, and Jesper couldnât help but wonder why sheâd left. Then it hit him.
âIf you and Inej are here, whoâs distracting Kaz?â He frowned, Nina looked a little guilty.
âWe didnât want to miss all the fun.â She admitted.
âIt's hardly fun! I was not especially good at that dying business. It's more complicated than it looks. And it took me ages.â He grumbled.
âSorry,â She muttered. âBut thatâs a good point. No one is distracting Kaz.â
âBrilliant.â
They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Jesper couldnât resist a glance back at the stairs, now coated in gaudy dyes. Anika was leaning against the wall ahead of them, a very confused look on her face. Jesper merely grinned, and Nina put a finger to her lips. Jesper barely had time to blink, before Inej slid soundless around the corner and stood in front of them.
âKaz is on his way back. Closet.â She said quickly. Then glanced at the floor. âActually, run around a bit first.â
So, looking undoubtably extremely stupid, they began do run in circles around the floor. It was coated in multicolour by the time Inej finally usher them towards the closet that Jesper wasnât entirely sure was supposed to be there.
âGo on! Heâll be here soon. It will be boring if he sees us before the rest of it.â
Jesper looked warily at the closet. It didnât look like all three of them would fit.
âPlease just get in the closet.â
âOh not again,â He muttered before he could stop himself. Inej pulled the door shut from the inside, somehow, and Jesper had been right. It was a little left of comfort. Not that he would have wanted to be anywhere else the moment Kaz walked through that door. The look on his face, which Jesper could just about see between the doors of the closet, was priceless.
âWhat the fuck?â Kaz spluttered. It was all Jesper could do to not burst out laughing. Kaz began to angrily head towards the stairs, and by the time he was halfway up, Inej, Jesper and Nina had slipped away into Ketterdam.
***
Theyâd been out for waffles, as a celebration for their hard work. None of them could be bothered to go back to the Van Eck Manor straight away, and well, this was fun.
âMaybe we should have painted the bedsheets in the shape of a waffle,â Nina mused, as she finished second plate. Inej glanced at the various plates that had once had waffles on them scattered across the table.
âMaybe, but I think eating them is more fun.â Nina nodded in agreement.
âWhat do you think heâll do?â Jesper mused.
âHeâll either not speak to us for a week, or Inejâs boat and your house will be bright orange by the time we get back. Itâs a toss up.â Nina shrugged.
âI could live with the house being orange. Not sure what Wylan would thinkâŚâ
âI could build a brand out of an orange boat,â Inej added.
âNot exactly scary though is it. Not instilling fear into the hearts of your enemies. Oh dear god, here comes the fearsome captain Inej Ghafa and her orange boat.â Jesper snorted.
âHey!â Inej protested, snatching a waffle from his plate. âIâm plenty scary enough myself.â
âYou sure are, that was my waffle!â
âCare to steal it back?â She smirked, taking a bit. He did not.
They probably kept the waffle place open past the closing time, and by the time they trudged back to manor sometime that evening, Ninaâs predictions were almost true.
Wylan stood outside the manor, arms folded and a sceptical look on his face. He looked quite cute if you asked Jesper, if a little annoyed. The manor looked fine from the outside. Same as it always was.
âDid you think it would be funny to provoke Kaz so much that I return home to an entirely different coloured house?â He grumbled as they approached.
âI feel like Iâm being berated by a puppy,â Nina remarked and Wylan glared at her.
âOh come on merchling, it canât be that bad?â Jesper raised an eyebrow, but the look on Wylanâs face suggested otherwise. To be fair, heâd made a similar face when Jesper had been trailing green around the house that morning.
âKaz has Gothified the house,â Wylan retorted, pushing open the door. Jesper blinked incredulously. The entire thing was a strange shade of black grey that completely sucked the colour out of it. Again trailing green footprints around the place, he dashed through the house. Room after room was the same. Hell, even the food was dyed. Or painted. Whatever this was.
It would have been funny, if it wouldnât be so bloody hard to undo.
âHow did he manage this?â Nina was saying incredulously as he returned. âWe were only gone a few hours.â Inej looked smug.
âWhat did you do Wraith?â Jesper asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at her.
âA magician never reveals their secrets. Kaz wonât, and nor will I,â She retorted smugly. Behind him, he heard Wylan snort.
âYou complained when I put a few footprints in the house this morning,â Jesper protested. âNow the whole house is painted.â
âWell, you could put them in now. It might add character.â Even Jesper had to snort at that. He glanced at the black bucket of dye left outside the door, and he could have sworn heâd heard a click of Kazâs cane in the distance.
âVery subtle,â he muttered, shaking his head.
âThis is insane,â Nina said pointedly to Inej.
âMaybe so,â The smaller girl said, but she was grinning.
Behind them, Jesper heard a muttered âDemjin.â
He didnât know where Matthias had come from, but maybe this time he was right.
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addiction, m | ksj ending
pairing(s): seokjin x reader, mentions of past hoseok x reader
summary:Â Kim Seokjin goes through anger, fear, and inappropriate arousal and, quite frankly, heâs not sorry about it (well, he is a little sorry). Itâs a roller coaster.
warnings: non-idol!AU; in which everyone makes bad choices; slow burn; rated M (18+) for language, mentions of drug use, mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, violence, mentions of past cheating, smut (a little bit of a praise kink, cowgirl, repeated orgasms)
--
The air itself was tense.
He paced the front hallway after forcing the guards to make themselves scarce. He wasnât wearing his tie and his blazer was somewhere in the house. That left him in his black suit pants and dark blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled up. If he was in his right mind, he would have cleaned himself up, perhaps made himself look less agitated as he waited.
You shouldnât have let her go, Seokjin.
He was scolding himself. He should have trusted his instincts, but instead he let her go. He checked his phone again and there was the feed of the camera showing her leaving her house.
Moments before, he had the urge to call her suddenly, practically growling his instructions.
âGet your ass over here now and bring the weekâs supply. All of it.â
He wasnât even sure she was going to listen to him. But she was leaving her apartment. He shouldnât have installed that camera outside her apartment, but he also didnât give a single shit. He needed the peace of mind. He needed it.
He knew how selfish he was. Childish even. He knew it was wrong, all of it. He shouldnât have kept her around after what happened to Hoseok. He shouldnât have guilted her into staying a runner. He shouldnât order her not to be touched, he shouldnât touch her himself, and he shouldnât, for fuckâs sake, give her continued access to cocaine.
But he did.
He rubbed his forehead, taking a deep breath. He knew he wasnât a nice man. Maybe it was how he grew up â privileged and the youngest. Always fawned on and treasured. He had no cares in the world. He thought he could have whatever he wanted because money brought everything. And when money didnât, well, emotions could be manipulated.
He knew he was deplorable. But none of that stopped him.
She wasnât an addict. Fuck, she practically hated substances now. He knew she kept doing what he asked because she wanted to watch over her customers, wanting to check up on them even if it was to be the next dose. Seokjin knew how twisted that was. A drug dealer who cares because she couldnât talk them out of the habit. She couldnât stop them but maybe she could control their dose. And that was fucked up and he let it continue because he wanted to see her, even if she low-key hated his guts.
He really was the worst.
She was supposed to be his. But then she had met Hoseok, friend of a friend, and everything went to shit. He took the scraps he could get. He wasnât proud of it. He made her do things sometimes when Hoseok was craving it really bad. Memories she probably buried so deep so she couldnât remember them. And then Hoseok didnât come to him one time, just once, and everything got even shitter, if possible.
He thought he could live like that. He thought he could continue being like that.
But this time was different. This time he could feel it. He didnât know what she could do, but there was something different in her eyes this time. He hadnât counted on that. He hadnât counted on maybe, just maybe, she would stop this cycle herself.
He scowled, pacing more intensely now. Even now, he was sure of it. She didnât like to admit it, but he knew her well and saw through her feeble attempts to hide her emotions. He had ignored it, but, of course, it steadily got worse. Each time he saw her, it was like a little more of her died inside. He thought she would get over it. She was a strong person. He had always admired that. Perhaps strong wasnât the right word. Stubborn.
He punched the wall and growled. The pain felt like nothing compared to the heightening fear inside him. A fear he veiled in anger, the only way he knew how to deal with it.
The knock on the door was sharp.
It cut him out of his thoughts. A few swift strides and he practically ripped the door open. She was breathing hard through the black face mask, cheeks red from running. Grey sweatshirt and long grey shorts. He remembered that outfit. For once, however, her hands were bare. She had forgotten to wear her usual black gloves. She always wore them because she did not like handling the product directly. Fingerprints and shit like that. She looked surprised to see him opening the door.
Without greeting, he grabbed the front of the sweatshirt and dragged her inside, slamming the front door and locking it.
âSeokjin, what theââ
He shoved her into the wall, knocking the wind out of her. She gasped, head hitting the wall and seeing stars.
âDid you fucking bring it?â
âFucking hell,â she swore, trying to blink her eyesight straight. âYes, I brought it, youââ
He shoved her up the wall, taking the face mask off her roughly. He stared into her eyes, which were looking in every direction, getting back into focus. He checked her lips, her nose.
âSeokjin, are you trying to kill me? Fucking shit,â she groaned, shaking her head.
âDo I need to try if you were planning on doing it yourself?â he growled.
The air seemed to drop by ten degrees. Shock, and then shame flitted across her expression. She wasnât looking at him. She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off.
âLie to me. I fucking dare you.â
She closed her mouth and swallowed. Then she looked up at him. A little bloodshot. Focused and so dark that it ate him up inside seeing that. There was brightness there once. Life.
âGive it to me.â
He held one hand out but the other didnât let go of her sweatshirt. Wordlessly, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded handkerchief. She opened it in his hand. There it was. The packet of cocaine and a bottle of pills. The bottle rolled off his hand and fell to the floor, but he ignored it. He was looking at the plastic bag.
âYou opened it.â
âI put it back,â she shot back.
He slammed his fist into her sternum, making her gasp painfully. âHow much did you take?â
She suddenly shoved him, tone rising in rage. âI said I put it back, you asshole!â
He threw the packet at her, missing and hitting the wall. âDid you now? Suddenly a good girl?â he mocked, eyes narrowing.
âFuck you, Seokjin! Iâm not a fucking addict like you!â
Unfazed, he raised a finger, pointing at her. âAt least Iâm not addicted to actively punishing myself mentally and physically over nothing.â
âNothing?â she hissed, slapping his finger away and shoving him again. âNothing? You fucking cold-hearted, greedy shit, always acting high and mighty,â she shouted, clenching her fists. âAs if you fucking know. As if you would ever have a clue what it was like to be in love.â
âI know,â he scowled. âI watched you and Hoseok frolic around until the end.â
âYouââ She tried to slap him, but he dodged out of the way. She glared and turned around, obviously intending to head out. He grabbed her arm and dragged her back.
âLet me go,â she snapped, trying to punch him but he caught her hand in mid-air, squeezing it uncomfortably.
âYou know you canât actually land a hit on me unless I let you.â His voice was low, dangerous.
She stopped struggling and just glowered at him, clenching her jaw. âWhat are you going to do? Keep me prisoner?â
âMaybe I should. Prevents you from doing anything stupid.â
She was breathing hard. He was much bigger and stronger than she was. His broad shoulders towered over her, and his grip was tight and unrelenting. She changed her tone.
âWhy do you care?â She narrowed her eyes. âCanât have your precious runner die on you?â
He scoffed. âI have many more, better runners who service many more customers than you.â
âThen why does it matter?â she challenged. âIâm just a pawn in your game. Just let me die in peace.â
His blood ran cold. She cemented the worst with those words.
âYouâre so caught up in Hoseokâs death that you think about nothing else,â he breathed through gritted teeth.
Her dark eyes flashed. âAnd why does that matter? You couldnât give two shits Hoseok died. It only meant I wasnât going to suck your dick or let you finger fuck me in an alley anymore.â
âYouâre an idiot.â
Her eyes widened at the sharp retort. He was staring at her with a mixture of fury and despair.
âYour head is so far up your ass you didnât even think to look around you.â He released her suddenly, pushing her away from him. âYou think I donât know what love is?â he asked, voice breaking a little as she looked at him, mouth open in shock. He huffed, shaking his head. âI love you. I always have, from the moment I saw you. You can stand there and deny it all you want, but you know itâs true.â He sighed, frowning. âBut then you met Hoseok and you instantly fell in love with him. And, shit, Hoseok was a great guy. What was I supposed to do? Not let the women I love be happy?â
âYou⌠you made me do all kinds of sexual favors for you,â she sputtered.
He raised an eyebrow. âAnd? You were begging for cocaine to feed your boyfriendâs bad habits. You think I would let you have that for free without benefiting off of it?â He chuckled, half in disbelief and half in his own shame. âAre you a saint? You were poisoning my friend right in front of my fucking face.â He cocked his chin at her. âItâs not like you were poor. You have money. You did it anyway.â
Her lips trembled. She looked from the ground to the wall and then to him. âB-butâŚâ
âI should have stopped you both,â he continued, sighing again. âI should have cut him off and I should have made you break up with him. I saw where it was going.â He ran his fingers through his hair, dismayed. âI should have done something. Maybe he wouldnât be dead. Maybe you wouldnât be like this.â
âI⌠I havenât changed.â
âHavenât changed?â he snorted disbelievingly. âYouâre a shell of a person. You live in Hoseokâs shadow, trapping yourself in there.â He took her by the shoulders and shook her. âWake up.â
She lifted her head, dark orbs to his. It hurt him to see her like this. It hurt him to know it was partially his fault. Maybe he couldnât stop her one day in the future. Maybe one day he would be too late and then he would turn into her. Pure apathy, navigating life but not caring for it.
Her head fell. They both knew they had made terrible choices. He exhaled and placed his forehead on top of her head, closing his eyes. Her hair smelled good, a gentle herbal scent.
âPlease⌠I donât want you to die,â he whispered. The emotion was seeping into his voice, anger dissipating into sadness. It was hurting him so much. He never told her because he didnât want to burden her with his sorrows too. But he couldnât stop it now. The walls he made to protect her were cracking, one by one.
âSeokjinâŚâ The way she said his name was shattering his heart. So empty and miserable. âI want to see him.â
âI know,â he murmured, forcing his tears back. âI do too.â
There was a silence. Enough of a moment for Seokjin to collect himself and steady his emotions. He had to be strong. He had to support her.
âYou didnât really mean it, right?â she quietly asked. âWhen you said you loved me.â
âIt wasnât past tense, Moon.â
She pulled her head back and looked up at him, staring into his brown eyes. He had no lies to tell. He gazed back, smiling just a little.
âI thought I was obvious,â he teased gently. He wasnât proud of being an absolute dick and taking advantage of her. He knew he was overtly flirtatious, but he also knew there were lines he couldnât cross. He wasnât going to try and pursue a relationship when he knew she didnât want it. It didnât make his feelings go away though. It didnât matter who he fucked or who wanted him. The end result was always the same.
It was pathetic, he knew.
She bit her lip, frowning. âYou could have forced me to be with you.â
He chuckled, shaking his head. âContrary to your opinion of me, I wouldnât do that to Hoseok or to you.â
âYet⌠you kissed me at that time.â
His lips pursed. âI make mistakes too.â With a heavy sigh, he took a step back, smiling sadly at her. His hands left her shoulders, slowly, one by one. For the longest time, he had wanted her by his side, always. For the longest time, he had wanted her to stay with him, always. But this time, he felt defeated. This time, he didnât feel like getting his way.
âItâs time for me to let you go,â he said, smiling at her, crushing his own heart with his own words, smashing it into tiny pieces and praying for them to never come back together. He gestured to the door and turned away from her. He couldnât save her, no matter how hard he tried. The only thing he could do was stay away from her and keep the drugs out of her reach. He reached down and plucked the packet and the bottle from the floor. What started it all. Just some stupid white powder. He shoved it in his pocket, closing his eyes.
What was I thinking?
âWe had fun, didnât we?â he murmured, more to himself.
âSeokjin.â
Fingers suddenly grasped the sleeve of his dress shirt. Pull away. He bit his lip. He had to be strong. He had to pull away. But he hesitated all the same.
âPlease donât.â
The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them. âDonât what, my darling?â
She didnât reprimand him this time. He felt her walk around him, standing in front of him. He couldnât open his eyes. Donât look. He knew he would fall apart if he looked.
âDonât let go.â
She pressed her lips to his, softly. He felt his resolve crack. He opened his eyes, only a little. Her eyes were closed, brows furrowed as she feverishly kissed him. After his lack of reaction, she broke apart from him, looking up at him with questioning eyes.
âI have to.â To his surprise, his voice was weak, wavering. He had never been so scared in his entire life. âIâm a cold-hearted, greedy shit, remember?â
She frowned at her own words being repeated back to her. âIâm sorry I said that.â
His lips curved upwards ever so slightly. âYou shouldnât be. Itâs true, after all.â
She chewed on her lower lip, looking down as she twisted her hands at her stomach. âBut you still tried to help me. Even though I always refused it.â
Against his better judgement, he reached out and lifted her head with his fingers. He rubbed his thumb against her chin.
âI had to keep trying for my Moon.â
Her lips parted. She tried to kiss him again, but he turned his hand and pressed on her chest gently, preventing her.
âYou donât need to do that anymore to get what you want,â he said quietly. His smile didnât reach his eyes, but he smiled anyway.
The eyes that looked at him â those dark, dark eyes â full of an emotion he didnât understand. She was looking at him, deep into his exposed soul, seeing all of him.
âIf what I wantâŚâ she whispered, lips brushing against his thumb. âIf what I want is you, right now, would you say no?â
He should say no. He should refuse and walk away. But he knew his answer and he was sure that she had found him out already.
âI wouldnât.â
If he could look into those eyes forever, he would. If he could freeze this moment forever, he would. But nothing was forever. He knew that and she knew that.
Her tongue slid out from between her lips and licked his thumb tentatively. He pulled his hand back swiftly, swallowing thickly.
âDonât pretend for my sake,â he warned. âDonât give me false hope.â
Maybe it was a joke. Maybe she didnât really mean it. In the end, he was weak when it came to her. In the end, he gave in. He couldnât refuse. When he was so drunk that he couldnât see straight anymore, she was the reason he made himself throw it back up. When he was high as a kite, drifting into nothingness, the only thing he couldnât forget was her. She was the one he dreamed of at night. When there was only darkness, she was the moonlight. She was the reason to keep going.
She reached out and wrapped her hands around his. âI want you, Seokjin. Show me how much you love me.â
He pulled her to him, making her stumble into him. He crashed his lips into hers, kissing her fully. He shoved his tongue into her mouth, pressing it against hers. It was messy and rough, almost as if they were back at that time. Back at those parties, drunkenly making out, not really knowing what was going on. He let go of her hands and wrapped them around her waist, lifting her up easily. She wrapped her legs around his waist and continued kissing him, sucking on his tongue the way he liked. He moaned into her mouth, walking them to the room. The room they had been in so many times before, but for different reasons. Her sucked on her lower lip, nipping on it softly. She pulled away, kissing his cheeks and jaw, tongue lacing around his earlobe. He shuddered, opening the door and feeling her suck on it softly. His hands held her tightly as he fell onto the black leather sofa with her on top of him.
âHere?â she mumbled, chuckling.
âLook, this is a big house and walking to a bedroom is going to take at least ten minutes,â he growled, squeezing her ass playfully.
âNext time, then,â she said, making his heart skip two beats.
She kissed down his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. Her fingers fumbled with the small buttons of his dress shirt.
âFor fuckâs sake, rip it open,â he complained.
She laughed a little. He was seriously going to have a heart attack from the arrhythmia she was giving him. âYouâre too rich,â she commented, before she hooked her fingers between the folds and ripped the shirt open, causing buttons to fly everywhere and clatter to the floor.
âIâm horny; thereâs a difference,â he retorted, yanking the shirt out of his pants himself.
She paused, eyes going down his toned chest. She could see his scars, some she knew, some she didnât. Her fingers traced them, running down his skin, setting it afire. The shirt slid down his arms, and he lifted his arms out of it. It was useless now anyway.
She kissed his chest, her soft lips like a dream. Her tongue traced the contours of his muscle, hands pressed against his sides. As she kissed down, the hands slid up his broad back. He bit his lip and laid his head back. Down, down, kissing his belly button lightly, then down to the edge of his pants. She spread his legs, nuzzling his crotch. His erection strained against his clothes and she pressed her nose against it, breathing on it.
âFucking shitâŚâ
She came back up, a sly smile on her face. She straddled his lap, having to spread her legs even more to accommodate him. Â He could feel her inner thighs, the heat positioned right above his cock. She rolled her hips into him, pressing her heat against his stiffness.
He groaned, hands gripping the hem of her sweatshirt. He pulled it up and over her head, tossing it onto the marble table. Another second and he had unhooked the black bra. She shrugged out of it, letting it fall to the floor. Her nice round breasts, nipples sticking straight out at him. He cupped them in his hands and ran his tongue over them, flicking a nipple and earning a soft moan. He sucked on them greedily, lapping up their taste, intoxicated. She gripped his shoulders for balance, panting his name.
âSeokjin⌠ahâŚâ
He pressed his thumbs against them, rubbing them roughly. âAre you my good girl?â he murmured, watching her come undone with his touch. âAre you all mine?â He pinched them and she gasped, grinding her hips into him.
âYes, Seokjin,â she breathed, nails digging into his shoulders.
He smiled, slowly letting her go. âYou have to take off your clothes then, so I can reward you,â he ordered, lightly pushing her off him. She hooked her fingers on the side of her shorts, but he stopped her, twirling his finger with a smirk.
âTurn around first.â
She gave him a look but he simply grinned. Turning around, she pulled the shorts and her underwear down together, exposing her ass and pussy as she bent down. His lips parted seeing her sex glisten with arousal. He hadnât expected it, even now. She turned back around, frowning as she saw him with his pants still on.
âToo busy to take yours off too?â she chided, reaching over to unzip his pants.
He smirked. âItâs a good view.â
She was about to yank his pants down but he stopped her, reaching into his other pocket to pull out his wallet. She raised an eyebrow. He took out the condom and placed it beside him before wiggling out of his underwear and pants.
âAnd here I thought you were going to pull out some money,â she pouted childishly.
He chuckled. âYou can have my card any time you want, my love.â
He took her hand and cupped it around his cock, exhaling in satisfaction as she touched him. He had missed this, selfishly. They have never had sexual encounters with all of their clothes off. It was always a spur of the moment, an impulse they craved. She stroked him, but he kept his hand around hers, dictating the pace.
âI can go faster than this,â she said.
âOh, I know,â he replied, sighing in bliss. âBut I have more work to do, so Iâm not trying to blow my load in five seconds.â
âWhat about me?â she asked, lifting her leg and tilting her hips towards him. It was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen, her dripping pussy facing him, wanting him.
He let her hand go, hesitantly. âOkay, okay. Get on top of me.â
He rolled the condom onto his cock as she climbed on top, positioning herself above him. Once he was finished, he held it in place as she sank down on him. Slowly. So hot, so wet, her muscles clenching around him, sucking him in. He clenched his teeth. He had only been inside her a few times. Only when Hoseok was really passed out and wouldnât hear them. Because he couldnât contain himself knowing his cock was filling her up, feeling her muscles tighten around him, pulsing. It felt so good. He reached up and placed his hand around her waist, positioning her so his cock was touching that spot she liked, making her moan and throw her head back as he thrust into it lightly.
âThatâs it, thatâs my good girl,â he breathed. âYou can take what Iâm going to give you, canât you?â
She knew what he meant. âY-yes, Seokjin.â
Fuck, he loved it when she said his name so breathlessly like that. âHold on, my darling.â
She looped her arms around his shoulders and he slammed his hips into her. She gasped at his forcefulness, but there was so time to collect herself as he thrust into her, bouncing her up and down on his cock, letting gravity sink her back down. She cried out, biting her lip hard as he pounded her, muffling them. He called her name, making her look down at him.
âLet me hear you,â he panted. âScream my name.â
He thrust into her, hard, making her yelp and throw her head back.
âS-Seokjin, fuck!â
âToo rough?â he mocked, ramming into her while pulling her down on him.
Her nails dug into his shoulders. âFuck, fuck, Seokjin, whatever you want,â she gasped, âYou know you can do whatever you want to me.â
âYeah?â He rolled his hips, hitting that sweet spot. She moaned his name, dragging it out as he continued. âSqueeze my cock with that delicious pussy of yours. Cum all over it.â
He felt her muscles contract around him and he had to chomp down on his tongue to avoid losing it right then and there. He had to make her orgasm multiple times first. He had to. He stopped, pulling her up so only the tip was inside her. She whined, trying to wiggle back down.
He reached between her legs and found her clit, rubbing it. She gasped, her eyes rolling back into her head as he pinched it, causing her walls to clench and liquid gush down his cock, coating it with wet stickiness.
âF-fuck, Seokjin!â
He grinned, letting her sink back down, but still rubbing her clit. She clung onto him, rocking her hips into his hand as he continued his assault on her clit. He ran his nail over it and she wailed, pussy gripping him tightly as waves of pleasure racked through her, clenching his cock in her warm vice.
âThatâs my good girl,â he whispered softly in her ear. He removed his hand and she shuddered, her swollen clit rubbing against him as he pressed his hips against hers.
âItâs going to be even better now,â he purred. He lifted her again and began a slow pace, dragging her clit against his skin each time he went down, earning a whine of pleasure each time.
âSeokjin, y-youâre crazy,â she panted, her body shaking in his hands.
âCrazy for your body,â he grinned, thrusting into her harder. She groaned, both at the response and his movements. Each time her body shuddered and he felt her become wetter, he increased his pace, harder, faster. Her pussy throbbed around him.
âM-more, Seokjin, fuck⌠fuck me up,â she pleaded, meeting his pace.
He couldnât take much more. Her head thrown back, her breasts bouncing in his face, her completely fucked out expression and her pussy pulsating around him. So hot, so wet, so tight. He felt the familiar sensation tightening inside him. He thrust harder, giving it all he had. He breathed her name.
âLook at me.â
She did, pupils blown wide, devoured in pleasure that was all him, him fucking her senseless, him filling her up with his cock, him making her weak.
âFuck, fuck, fuck!â
He came with a cry, slamming her down on his cock as it shot into the condom. His cock twitched inside her. He shut his eyes, moaning as he felt her pussy squeezing him, milking every last drop uselessly. Her head fell against his shoulder, her heavy breathing against his ear. He shivered. He was wet, sticky, and absolutely filthy. It was amazing.
âYou have to get up, my love,â he whispered, exhausted.
He reached down and held the condom as she winced, pulling off of him. His cock slid out and smacked him in the thigh. He was surprised he was still semi-hard after all that.
She slid down next to him. She had never sat down next to him before, not in this room. His heart thudded in his chest and not from the afterglow.
âSeokjinâŚâ
â⌠Yes?â
âCan we at least find a bed to sleep?â
--
masterpost
#bts#bts fanfic#bts x reader#kim seokjin#seokjin#jin#kim seokjin x reader#kim seokjin x you#seokjin x you#seokjin x reader#jin x reader#jin x you#bts jin#bts smut#kim seokjin smut#seokjin smut#jin smut
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Take Me to Church
summary: Some part of Richie knows that no amount of prayer can change things, but at least he can tryÂ
pairing: stozierÂ
warning: internalized homophobia, kinda angsty
word count: 2k
a/n: omg the way this fic dragged me through the mud with how many times i had to rewrite it is insane...but i hope you like it <3
Richie knew that it was wrong...he knew that these feelings were disgusting. No matter how many times his parents or friends told him that they werenât. The voices in his head were louder than his friends and family could ever be.
This is why as soon as he realized he had feelings for his best friend, he ran home and prayed. He fell to his knees and prayed for God to take these sinful, nasty feelings away. He didnât want to be a sinner, he didnât want to go to Hell. So, he prayed all night long until his parents found him in the morning.Â
He went to church every time there was a service. He stayed behind after every service to pray at the altar. He went to the priests and asked them to pray over him, help him become holy again, help cleanse his soul. He wanted more than anything to be clean again.
He avoided Stan with everything in him; he stopped sitting with the losers at lunch, stopped hanging with them after school, he even took a different, longer route to his classes to avoid bumping into him. He thought that maybe if he didnât talk to him he couldnât keep the feelings. That's how it works, right?
Stan had never been so confused in his life. Why was his best friend, the boy he had known since he was five, avoiding him like his life depended on it?
Well in Richieâs eyes, his life did depend on it. He was too scared to spend an eternity in Hell, that place was for dirty sinners and he was not a sinner.Â
Stanâs worry and curiosity got the better of him. He knew that it probably wasn't the smartest idea but he had to make sure Richie was okay.Â
So that day after school, he went to the Tozier residence and knocked exactly three times on the door. He counted exactly 33 seconds and held his hand up to knock again but Maggie Tozier opened the door, worry evident on her face.
âHey, StanleyâŚâ She smiles, her eyes softening when she sees Stan. âAre you here to see Richie?â
Stan nods, his heart in his throat âYes ma'am⌠I just want to make sure heâs okay.â His voice is wavy and unsure and as soon as he hears it he wants to say forget it and go back home.
Maggie pauses, pursing her lips to the side. âIâm sorry, Stan, but you just missed him. He came in the house for a split second to put his backpack down then he left.â She already knew where her son went, the same place he had been going after school for the past two months. She considered telling Stan where he went but hesitated, wondering if it would only make Richie feel worse.
She knew all about her son's internalized homophobia. She heard him as he prayed all night, she noticed how quickly he would change the subject if she or Wentworth brought up his group of friends. She especially noticed how he flinched something terrible if he saw a gay couple holding hands as they walked down the street, it didnât take her long to figure out what was going on in. Sometimes she wished she could just flick the side of his head and send the thoughts flying out of the other.Â
Stan frowns. âOh okay, thank you, Mrs. Tozier,â he does a sharp turn on his heel after Maggie gives him a soft hum and shuts the door. Â âWhere in the world is Richie Tozier?â is the question Stan wants to ask, but he has a feeling he already knows the answer.Â
One short bike ride later and Stan is standing in front of what heâs sure is the oldest building in Derry, Saint Peter Catholic Church. He sets his bike on its kickstand and slowly walks to the large, red doors. A small part of him is hoping that his feeling is wrong and heâs not gonna see Richie at the altar. He peeks his head through the door and scans the awfully large sanctuary. His grip on the door tightens when he sees a familiar set of unruly curls. He steps inside completely and he canât help but to shut and open the door two more times, cringing at the loud creaking noise. He takes a deep breath and slowly walks down the aisle until heâs standing beside the crouched boy.
He debates if he should sit on the ground, only the lord knows the last time it was cleaned, but decides his friend is more important than getting his khaki shorts dirty. Stan falls to his knees and turns his head to look at Richie. He just sits for a couple of minutes, listening to the mumbled words fall from Richieâs mouth. His throat is dry and his heart is aching as he ponders if he should say anything. He swallows hard and looks straight ahead, eyes glancing over the stained glass portraits of the Catholic saints. âRichie?â He questions, his voice shaking. Â
Richieâs heart drops in his chest when he hears the voice, but he shouldâve known who it was. Who else would open and close the door three times? He doesnât look at Stan, he canât or heâll be hooked all over again.
Stan sighs. âRichie, I want to help you. I can't help you if you donât help me though. Can you tell me what's wrong?â He knew what was wrong, he knew what was wrong as soon as he walked into the room and saw Richie praying.Â
He had been in that situation before. He remembers how he would read his Torah ten times a month. He remembers asking YHWH to forgive him for his transgressions. He remembers feeling disgusting and those days when he couldnât even look in the mirror. Eventually, he came to terms with himself. He knew that he wasnât disgusting and he wasn't abnormal. He was Stan a gay, Jewish boy, and that was perfectly fine.
When Richie still hasnât answered, Stan decides to fill the silence. âIâve been in your shoes, Rich, itâs nothing wrong with being gay. You are not disgusting and you are not going to Hell.âÂ
Richie knows that Stan is right, but a part of him canât believe him. He had been taught his whole life that homosexuality was a sin, why would that change now?Â
âI get it, Rich, I really do,â Stan whispers, now turning to face Richie completely. He carefully takes Richieâs clasped hands and pulls them towards his chest. âItâs hard accepting yourself after being told your whole life that youâre a sin after youâve only heard one thing youâre whole life and that âgay people are going to Hell.â But that's not true, its nothing...absolutely nothing wrong with being gay.â Stan sees how Richie's body is slowly relaxing, so he continues. âThe people in this town are close minded and ignorant if anything theyâre in the wrong. Youâre an incredibly sweet, caring person. Youâre not going to hell because you like boys and you may not believe me, but it's true.â
Stanâs speech seems to work because it gets Richie to finally look at Stan, finally look at the boy he was slowly falling in love with. As soon as Richieâs eyes meet Stanâs he feels the world fall apart around him and he finds himself crying-no sobbing. âI donât want to be dirty anymore, Stan. I'm not a sinner! Iâm not!âÂ
Stan instantly pulls him into his arms, running his fingers through his hair. âI know youâre not Richie, I know youâre not. Youâre gonna be okay, maybe not today, but youâll be okay.â Stan whispers, and he knows thatâs all he can do right now.Â
Stan doesnât know how long theyâve been sitting here but he knows his legs have fallen asleep and his wrist is cramping up from constantly running his hand up and down Richieâs back. He tries his best to comfort the older boy, but he knows that it probably isnât doing any good. Stan is terrified that someone is going to walk in on them, he knows that the reaction to one boy crying in the arms of another isnât pretty. âRichie,â Stan sighs, gently pushing Richieâs face back so theyâre eye to eye. âPlease talk to me, Iâm not here to judge you. I just want to help,â he uses the pad of his thumbs to wipe Richieâs wet cheeks.Â
Richie hiccups and it takes everything in him not to push Stan away, run away, and never look back. He knows that he wonât get anything out of it except more pain. âHelp me, Stan, please. I just wanna be okay again,â Richie pleads, his heart is racing and he has an impossibly tight grip on Stanâs wrists. âWhy do I feel these things, how do I know if IâmâŚ..â Richie trails off, and Stan can hear him gulp. âGay,â the word feels like acid in his mouth. âYou felt like this too, right? How did you get over it? How did you get them to stop? â
Stan shakes his head. He had told Richie that maybe he liked this boy in their history class, but quickly retracted the statement and started dating Patty Blum in their algebra class to prove that he didnât like boys. âI- the feelings never went away Richie, theyâll never go away. They only get stronger.â He watches Richieâs face pale. âItâs not a bad thing, you get used to it eventually. It just takes some time...and support.â He remembers crying to his mom as she comforted him, reminding him that she will always love him no matter what.Â
âHow did you know Stan? Who was it?â Richie starts shaking again, his mind and heart racing as if they were trying to win a race. How should he be handling this situation? Should he let his emotions lead him or should he try to stay logical and do what he was taught is right? He stares Stan in his face and when he sees the tears building behind his eyes, heâs instantly taken aback. The most put together, stoic person he knows was sitting in front of him about to cry, and that scared him more than any feeling could.Â
âIt was um-â Stan stops, how smart would it be to tell Richie that he was the reason Stan knew he liked boys? He racks his brain for an answer, an excuse to give Richie that would satisfy the both of them. âIt was Mike, Mike is how I knew.â A couple of seconds pass and Stan gets nervous, did Richie not accept his answer? Or maybe it was a trick question and Richie already knew it was him.Â
Richie instantly knows that it's a lie, Stan is too sure of himself to stutter in any situation. âStan, please donât lie to me. I need to know.â Richieâs eyes are wide and pleading. A part of him feels like he knows the answer already and a part of him is praying that heâs wrong because then it becomes real and Richie isnât sure he can handle that right now.Â
Stan looks everywhere but Richieâs face, specifically upwards hoping that the tears will fall back into his eyes. His breathing picks up and he swallows hard. âIt was you Richie, it was always you,â Stan whispers, finally looking Richie in his eyes. He can feel the tears running down his face and he starts to wonder why Richie couldnât just leave it alone.
âAre you sure?â Richie responds, his throat tight and he can feel the tears start back up again.Â
Stan nods, unsure how it would help Richie in any way, shape, or form. He isnât left wondering for long because Richie smashes his lips against his. It's a messy, teeth clattering kiss but Stan wouldnât have it any other way.Â
Richie lets go on Stanâs wrist and moves his hands to Stanâs soft, curly hair, pulling him impossibly closer. How ironic of Richie to be kissing the boy in the church where he was just praying for God to get this boy out of his head. He knows how complicated things are gonna be when they pull apart, but in the moment he thinks that there canât be anything wrong with something that feels so right.
#whew lord i am NERVOUS to post this#last time i posted something...it was traumatic#anyway i really hope you guys like this !#stozier#stan uris#richie tozier
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Promise Me(pt.1)
Part 1 - Part 2
pairing: Park Jimin x reader (ft. Kim Taehyung) genre: Fluff, angst and just drama.. word count: 5k warnings:Â alcohol consumption
Description: Y/N is Jiminâs longest and best friend. Certain feelings are caught and meanwhile, Jimin accidentally sets Y/N up with his other best friend. But not before getting her to make him a promise.
A/N: Lately, The image of Jimin being all tipsy in his âSaint Laurentâ t-shirt in that bring the soul episode has been either leaving me sleepless or appearing in my dreams. Gosh, whatta man.. So that infired me to write this story:) I hope you enjoy! Iâd be really glad to have your feedback. Here, bless your eyes with the image Iâm talking about:
The boyâs dorm building was only across the road from the girlâs. And that wasnât exactly a long walk for Y/N on a normal day. But this freezing winter night couldnât be considered that normal. Plus, Y/N had to fight against the strong wind that nearly knocked her out of her feet more than once. All of the snow piled up on the ground wasnât helping either. Again, on a normal day she wouldâve loved walking on snow. But at that moment, she just wished to somehow activate her inner mutant so that she could teleport there or something.
If only she wasnât too lazy to tidy up her room a little bit, it could be Jimin who was trying to make his way to her place right now. Maybe a bit of a selfish thought. But on the bright side, he would have the wind on his back, maybe even help him move faster as it blew from behind him.
It was then that Y/N felt a presence, swiftly moving towards her. Or rather, running up at her. She couldnât see much through the huge scarf covering most of her face. So, assuming the presence would be a stranger, she engaged attack mode. As she was flopping her arms and legs without even managing to land them anywhere on the guy, the guy easily held her arms in place, not applying much force.
âRelax Y/N, itâs me.â
Ah.. the sweet, soothing voice of Park Jimin.. A little shakey probably from all the cold, a bit small and hard to hear through the blizzard. Nonetheless, it still made Y/Nâs worries go away.
âOh, sorry Chim. I couldnât see it was you. Did I get you?â
Jimin laughed a high pitched laugh.
âWell, you hit me pretty hard but I guess Iâll live.â he teased her. Meanwhile, Y/N adjusted her scarf to be able to see him properly. His cheeks were all red and his lips almost went purple. Thankfully he had a big beanie with ear flaps to protect his sensetive little ears, Y/N thought. Although an ill and whiney Jimin was cute, exams week was closing up on them. Y/N made plans in her mind to prepare some of her momâs magical power up soup for both of them, just in case.
âCâmon letâs go inside.â
With Jiminâs arms wrapped up around her, the wind didnât stand a chance. They quickly went through the door and ran up the stairs to his room. As soon as they were inside, the warmness of the room welcomed them. Y/N loved and despised this room at the same time. Because it smelled way nicer, was way bigger and way warmer in the winter than her own. Well.. Jimin always was the lucky one of the duo. And Y/N had been taking advantage of that for over a decade.
âSo, what were you doing outside in this blizzard?â
âI saw last minute that I had lots of booze and very few snacks. And I know better than to not give a certain snack monster what she craves. So I went out to quickly take care of that.â He sent a wink her way. Little action, but a power move.
Y/N saw him taking off his backpack and appreciated the apparent fullness of it. She couldnât hold herself back from reaching it to grab a starter. Somewhere along the movements their hands came into contact with one another.
âWoah Y/N, youâre freezing! Come here.â
Jimin led the both of them to the couch where a blanket was already present. They wrapped it around themselves and Jimin took Y/Nâs hands in his, rubbing them gently. Blowing his warm breath on them every now and then. Looking at her with the softest eyes. It was moments like this that reminded Y/N how she was a doomed, doomed girl. Jimin was maybe the biggest tease she knew. Used on others, it was flirtation. On her, it was the affection he had for his longest, most valued friend. Y/N knew the difference between the two situations. But that just didnât help the way she felt.
âBoozeâll help us get warmer faster. Letâs get this party started already.â Y/N made an escape towards his mini fridge to get the drinks. âDid you pick a movie yet?â
âNo.. I thought we could just chat tonight. We donât really get the chance to have our customary deep conversations that much anymore. You know, just the two of us.â
âOh? I thought it made you upset when the gang leaves you alone like this.â
It was true that Jimin didnât like being alone the least bit. After their meet-ups with their friends when everybody would leave at some point, Jimin would whine and beg Y/N to stay more. âCâmon, a bit more.. letâs lay down.â heâd say. âWait till I fall sleep?â And of course she would. Everytime.
âBut Iâm not alone, youâre here. Besides, Christmas Eve kinda became our thing by now, didnât it?â
For the last two Christmases, both of their families were always either working or on vacation somewhere. There were no gatherings to celebrate the event. So, they didnât go home for the holidays and spent it in the dorms. And since all of their close friends went back home, Y/N and Jimin were left on their own. They decided to have their own little celebrations where only themselves were invited. This year was also the same. It was starting to become tradition at this point.
That was actually how it all started for Y/N. The first Christmas Eve they spent alone, something happened. A wire in Y/Nâs mind changed. And she was trying to deal with that ever since. Hoping tonight wouldnât make everything worse.
Y/N was setting up the coffee table with the drinks and snacks. Jimin had already started with some champagne. He downed the first glass in one go. Then poured another one for himself. After that he opened up a bottle of soju for Y/N, as he knew she liked starting off with that. They could both hold their liquor but Jimin was drinking even faster than usual. And after a while that made him get very tipsy very soon. He was going all out tonight.
âHey, I meant to tell you. I signed us up for the Spring Musical Project. Since weâll be self producing most of the parts, I thought youâd want to know early on. Maybe you wanna get started on the scores.â
âWow there, Chimmy! I thought we had to audition for that. And also why am I the one working on the scores may I ask?â
Jimin giggled when he noticed her glaring at him with squinted eyes.
âHmph.. Not after I convinced Mrs. Bora we donât. And Iâll try to help you out in anyway I can but music makingâs your specialty, sweety. Weâve been partnering in crime for like 15 years. I thought you knew by now that Iâm the charm and youâre the brains.â Â
Jimin reached forward to tweak her cheek. Because of Y/Nâs sensetive skin, the spot immediately turned red.
âDid that hurt?â
âNope, not a bit.â
Jimin smirked.
âGood. Letâs even out the colors, then.â
He slided down from the couch to the floor, next to where Y/N was sitting. He was now pinching both her cheeks, making cute incoherent sounds. Annoying the hell out of Y/N.
âCut it out Chim, or else.â
âOr else what?â he teased her.
She countered the attack by tickling him. His tummy and waist were his week spots and she knew that. It turned into a playful scuff and after some time Y/N won by pinning Jimin lightly on the ground. With the help of her body on top of his, of course.
âOkay, okay hahah.. you win ah- just stop tickl-â he hiccuped suddenly from all the laughing. â..tickling me.â That was when she spared him from the torture. And that hiccup had to be the cutest thing she ever heard. Plus, his eyes had dissappeared from laughing too hard and he looked so⌠Then she realized how she was on top of him, completely pressed against his body and it was all too much. She tried to get up but her balance was off because of the alcohol in her system. As she stumbled between falling and standing, Jimin managed to get a hold of her from where he was sitting.
âYouâre about to face-plant on the floor, Y/N. Câmere.â
He pulled her back on the ground and sat her between his legs. Y/N was tipsy but Jimin was drunk. He put his chin on her shoulder as he backhugged her. His speech was sluggish by this point.
âNo one else has this, do they?â His hands went to her arms, then down to her hands to link them with his own.
âThis.. what we have, I mean.â
âJimin, what-â
âEven couples donât have.. this. Iâve never been this carefree with any of my girlfriends. I could never have this much of a good time without thinking about anything else. We become very aware of our actions and like.. what they could mean or something, in a romance based relationship. But I donât even think with you. I just know you get me. I dunno- does that make sense?â
Y/N could feel the air around them getting thicker.
âYeah, but why-â
He turned her head slightly so that he could look her in the eyes.
âY/N. This is serious, okay?â When he didnât continue, Y/N slowly nodded so that he would.
âPromise me youâll never have this with anyone else.â
âJimin, why-â
âDo you promise?â
It was suffocatingly silent. Y/N knew what her answer was instantly. But she had no clues as to why Jimin would ask that. Or why he was being like this tonightâŚ
âOkay, I do.â
Jiminâs stiffened look slowly softened after that. He wasnât staring at her dead in the eyes anymore, either. Instead he had averted his gaze to the wall across the room.
âTaehyung likes you.â
Y/N jumped up with shock. A few seconds later, she sat back in front of him. This time facing him with a look that screamed confused as fuck.
âJimin, what are you talking about?â
âHeâs liked you for a long time now. Heâd murder me if he knew I told you. But I had to. He might be my best friend but youâre my- well, bestest friend. Just donât say anything to him about it.â
Taehyung was Jiminâs other best friend. He came into Jimin and Y/Nâs lives in highschool. And after the two boys moved in as roomates in freshman year of college, they had become like brothers. Their characters were weirdly compatible. Jimin liked to be teasing and flirty but he was actually just cute as hell. Taehyung was shy and giggly but unknowingly he was sexy as hell. And Y/N did have an undeniable crush on him during the end of highschool and the beginning of college. But ever since things changed for her on the Christmas Eve of freshman year, she had forgotten about that.
Christmas Eve, two years ago was a night just like this one with Jimin and Y/N drinking and alone. Except, the faint sound of Empire Strikes Back could be heard from the TV. They werenât exactly paying attention to it, both had seen it billions of times.
Jimin was nearly falling asleep with his head on Y/Nâs lap. And Y/N had her attention on his hair. Running her hand through it in hopes to help him relax. Because Jimin had broken up with his girlfriend, earlier that evening. When Y/N asked if heâd wanna talk about it, their conversation went a little something like this:
âWhatâs there to talk about?â
âI mean, you guys didnât really look like you were having issues. And you never told me that something was wrong. I just donât get why youâd call it quits.â
âI didnât wanna reflect this on you. But I guess it doesnât matter anymore.â He sighed and continued. âThe fact that I have this close of a relationship with you had been bothering her for a while now. You know, because youâre a girl. And Iâm tired of trying to explain it. Maybe no one but us can understand this.â
âSo, you dumped her?!â
âNo! I wouldnât do that, you know me. I wanted to work it out but she.. asked me to choose her over you. And when I couldnât, she just ended it.â
She wasnât actually the first girl to ask that of Jimin. But it was the first time he talked to Y/N about it.
âJimin.. Iâm so sorry about that. Look, Iâll be more careful in the future. Iâll talk to her if you want-â
âNo, Y/N. Itâs okay. I already let her go.â
âBut I thought you said you loved her.â
Jimin closed his eyes and turned away from Y/N before he said what he said next.
âI donât love her as much as I love you.â
And that sentence made Y/N lose her shit. She was freaking out, trying not to take it the wrong way. And she knew that Jimin probably meant it in the most innocent way but her stupid heart wasnât getting it. It didnât make her think Jimin was in love with her. It just made her realize that maybe she wanted him to be. And so, her life had been very complicated after that night. Everything was the same except she now had feelings for her best friend. PerfectâŚ
Tonight though, she just learned a brand new information and had no idea what to do with it. Also, she couldnât make sense of the way Jimin delivered that information either.
âJimin. If thatâs true, then why are you telling me? And why now?â
âI guess the answer to both is because Iâm drunk enough right now.â
Jimin got up, walked to his bed and plumped down on it.
âI wanted to say that- ugh I donât wanna sound awkward.â
He just cared about her more than anyone. Because Y/N didnât really find dating around easy or preferrable, there havenât been any serious situations where heâd have to worry about her being hurt. But this time was different because he knew she had liked Taehyung in the past. The idea of things changing was stressful for Jimin. At least he got her to promise that they wouldnât change.
âI guess Iâll be okay with it if you guys ever progress into anything.. more? Yeah.. Letâs go to bed. Tomorrowâs Christmas!â And with that, he lied down, loudly yawning and getting ready to sleep.
Normally Y/N would lie down next to him and cuddle. Jimin was a natural hugger. And although Y/N made it look like she didnât like skinship at first, there was no way Jimin would buy that. He always remembered a little girl whoâd come to him for hugs when she was sad, not caring about seeming strong around him.Â
But tonight, Y/N went to sleep on the other bed instead. Because frankly, Jimin had annoyed her. He had just told her she was allowed date people, as long as she promised not to care about them more than Jimin himself. That was just selfish and inconsiderate in Y/Nâs eyes. Cuz it wasnât like he ever asked Y/Nâs consent when he was the one dating people.
She decided to just sleep on everything that happened. So she closed her eyes and pulled the covers over herself. That was her first time falling asleep on Taehyungâs bed.
ââ
The next morning âafternoon, really- she was being called back to consciousness by a deep but muffled voice with a tall figure hovering over her. But she didnât wanna get up yet. Thatâs why she closed her eyes that were barely even opened in the first place and burried her head under the sheets. Only to be welcomed by the balmy fragrance belonging to the owner of the bed she was in. The scent could easily pull her back to dreamland but the deep voice just wouldnât go away. Then a hand softly made contact with her shoulder, nudging it only a little.
âYeah, what?â
âY/N, wake up itâs me.â Y/Nâs brain slowly started to decipher the deep voice. It sounded more and more familiar until it clicked. Taehyung.
She made a quick move to turn around and straigthen up on the bed. But since Taehyung was hovering over her and didnât expect her to get up so suddenly she crashed into him. They bumped heads and it was both an embarrassing and a slightly painful experience.
âSorry I- Iâm so stupid-â
Taehyung couldnât help but giggle.
âNo, itâs okay. Are you okay?â
Y/N was also smiling. âYeah..â Then she remembered who she was talking to and whoâs bed she was in. Panic crept up to her brain in mere seconds. What was he gonna think about finding her in his bed, all messy and obviously hungover?
âSorry I woke you. Your mom called. She couldnât reach you. I guess Jimin was M.I.A for a while too, so she tried me. Lucky I came back early and found you. She sounded worried, maybe you should give her a call.â
Y/Nâs mom had a habit of making a fuss when she couldnât instantly reach Y/N. She searched for her phone, scanning through the bed with her hands. Until Taehyung reached over to the nightstand behind his bed. Doing this made his chest hover over Y/N once more, but this time at a much closer proximity cuz he was now sitting on the bed. He looked at Y/N and saw her stiffened posture because of that closeness, as he was pulling back.
âOh, sorry.â His face was visibly getting redder. âHere.â He held out her phone. Thatâs right Y/N thought. She had put it there before going to sleep. As she was taking it from his hand, she saw how he was staring at the ground, timidly. He even scooted over to the other side of the bed to put the distance he unknowningly closed, between them again. And that summarized his sexy but shy character up perfectly, Y/N thought.
She decided to just text her mom instead of calling. It mightâve had something to do with being a little bitter about how her mom was always busy with other things on mostly every Christmas. Meanwhile she glanced over to Jiminâs bed and found it was empty. She thought about texting him. But then, her eyes landed on the coffee table and saw his phone was still there, where he left it last night. She found it to be strange. Why would he be in such a hurry that heâd forget his phone, on a free day like Christmas day?
What she didnât know was Jimin had woken up in the middle of the night, feeling cold. When he realized the space next to him was empty, he looked around to find Y/N sleeping soundly on Taehyungâs bed. So thatâs why he was cold. She had never slept anywhere but next to Jimin in all the times she stayed over. But as soon as he revealed Taehyung liked her, there she was, under the covers and all that. He hadnât been able to sleep until the morning after that. So he had just up and left to clear his head.
âBy the way, sorry for crashing on your bed. I uh- I know it looks weird-â
âWha- No, itâs okay.â Taehyung could only appreciate the sight in front of him. âI knew you were gonna spend Christmas Eve with Jimin again, I knew youâd be here.â The twist was, he expected to find them curled up in Jiminâs bed as usual. But with him gone and with Y/N on this bed, he could sense something was up. He wasnât gonna press about that, though. And Y/N appreciated it.
âSo, why are you back so early?â
âWell, my parents planned a trip for three days including Christmas. But since we have exams coming right after the holiday, I thought Iâd skip the whole thing. So we had a very early Christmas breakfast just before they left and I came here.â
âOh. So youâve joined the rest of us losers who get to spend the holiday here?â She joked around bitterly.
âYeah. Kinda sucks how I spent 8 hours to go to and come back from home but Iâve only seen my parents for like 6.â
âAt least you had breakfast with them. I havenât had a proper breakfast since forever.â
It wasnât like Y/N couldnât cook or something. There just wasnât much time for breakfast in their busy lives. With school, part time jobs and always getting up super early, days went by so fast. But today was a free day. And Taehyung had an idea.
âWell, we can actually make breakfast.. right now. Well, itâd be lunch but Iâve been grocery shopping before I came here.â
The offer put a smile on Y/Nâs face, exactly as Taehyung wanted to achive.
âCan we make pancakes?â
They started off by searching for a recipe online.
âGot it. Pancakes for 2 persons-â
âWe should probably double everything. Since weâre three with Jimin. Three with big appetites.â Y/N was proud of how much they all loved eating to be honest.
âRight, yup. Oh and by the way, do you know where he went off to?â
âUh.. no.â She was starting to think Jimin left becuse he was upset with her for some reason. Her guess was close enough.
âWell, Iâm sure he���ll show in a bit. And weâll have breakfast ready for him.â
That cheered Y/N up a little. They were now trying to cook with two people in the very cramped up kitchen part of the room which only consisted of a stove, one counter and a mini fridge. It was a mess with Y/N bossing Taehyung around telling him what to do. Taehyung being mischevious and getting flour all over Y/N. Constantly bumping into each other and laughing like crazy. Total chaos but too much fun. And they were getting good looking pancakes as result.
All of this was helping Y/N remember why she had a crush on Taehyung and how it made her feel back then. Between all the giggling, they didnât hear Jimin opening the door. They did hear the loud bang that came out when he shut it, though. Jimin was obviously not expecting such a view in front of him. He had a confused and somewhat hurt look on his face until he saw that the coffee table was set up for three people. He also saw his phone was there which was another relief for he had thought he dropped it somewhere.
âTaehyung, youâre already back?â He was talking to Taehyung but looking at Y/N.
âYeah. No Christmas at home for me either this year. C'mon letâs dig in before the pancakes get cold.â
Only two types of conversation happened as they ate. Between Taehyung and Y/N. And between Taehyung and Jimin. Until Y/N decided to break it.
âChim, where were you all morning?â
âI couldnât really sleep from the cold all night. So I went to the coffee shop as soon as it was morning, to get warmer.â That was a figurative rock thrown at Y/N for not cuddling him, despite knowing how sensetive he was to cold. She rolled her eyes. But even though she had done it to kinda punish him last night, it still made her feel bad.
âGuys I should get going. Gotta take care of some school stuff.â Y/N said as she got up to walk to the door. âBut tonight, Iâm hosting Christmas dinner and you both have to come, no excuses.â
Jimin smiled sincerely -for the first time that day- at how she could easily get bossy and motherlike.
âYouâll also be required to have some of my momâs magic soup Iâll make to protect us from the cruel winter, so be prepared.â And with that, she walked out. Jiminâs eyes watched her with adoration as she left. But his face dropped when he saw Taehyung had the same expression.
âBro, I wish you were here this morning when I came in.â
âWhy?â
âCuz I kinda freaked out when I saw her all snuggled up on my bed. I hope she didnât notice.â
âI think it went okay, Tae. You guys had alone time like you wanted.â
âTrue. I just get so nervous, man. But I think there was something there while we were cooking together. I hope Iâm not being crazy.â
There was something, alright. And it was all thanks to Jimin and his big mouth. But why was it this hard to even think about these two people he cared deeply for, becoming closer?
It was nearly evening when Jimin saw Taehyung getting ready, trying extra hard to look good. While Jimin himself was relaxed on his bed.
âDude, going somewhere fancy?â
The confident Taehyung posing stiriking looks at the mirror, instantly turned into a giggly kid at Jiminâs comment.
âWell, dinner timeâs closing in. I thought Iâd go over to Y/Nâs a bit early and maybe help out?â
âOh..â Jimin got up at once. He was quickly getting ready, putting some casual clothes on in a rush and talking at the same time.
âUhh, actually Iâm supposed to go earlier because we were gonna work on some moves for the Spring Musical thing. I should probably hurry over there.â Jimin moved at lightning speed towards the door.
âO- Okay.. I should let you guys focus then, Iâll be over later.â
He was thoughtful despite being dissappointed so Jimin turned back just as he was about to leave.
âSorry, bro. Thanks.â he said and darted out.
When Y/N answered her impatiently knocked door, she didnât expect to find Jimin, looking soft in his oversized hoodie but staring her up with a fierce demeanor. Curse and bless that duality.
âHey, angel.â He let himself in. âDo you need any help with the dinner?â
âNo, I already have everything ready. But you can set up the table, Chimmy.â
Y/N was glad they didnât seem to be at odds anymore. Neither of them was good at staying mad at the other.
Jimin went over to the little cupboard where he knew the utensils were and brought two sets of everything to her little table. Y/N thought of it to be habit, as it was just the two of them mostly. So she grabbed and placed another serving on the table, herself.
âHey we should call Tae over before dishes go cold.â
Jimin rolled his eyes. âRight, Iâll text him.â
âCan you check if the soup has enough salt?â Y/N was holding out a spoonful of it for Jimin to taste. He leaned in with his mouth wide open but Y/N stopped him suddenly.
âWait! Itâs hot you silly.â She blew on the spoon. âNow you can have it.â
Jimin looked at her fondly before tasting it.
âMm~ itâs perfect.â He booped her nose and she scrunched it. But she actually loved it when he did that.
âDid you text Tae yet?â
âIâm about to, woman. Whatâs the rush? Sick of me that easily?â He was whining and complaining like a child, Y/N loved it when he did that, also.
âWhatâre you talking about? Meals are gonna get cold.â
Jimin did text him finally, but not without frowning.
âDid you and him talk about- you know..?â
âWh- No! Why would I bring that up? You shouldnât either. Ever.â Y/N felt flustered enough as it was. After finding out about Taehyungâs feelings, she had become confused about her own.
âWhy? Donât you like him as well?â
âJimin- Can we drop the topic? He might walk through the door any second!â
âNo, heâd knock first. Even I knock.â
And he did knock. Right at that second. Y/N ran to answer it, all the while sending Jimin implying looks to get him to keep his mouth shut about the subject.
âAm I late?â
âNope. Actually right on time.â Right on time for Y/N to escape Jiminâs interrogation.
âI was surprised when Jimin texted this soon. Did you already decide on moves for the musical?â
Jiminâs eyes went wide with panic. Caught in a lie. Fortunately, Y/N caught on quickly and didnât want any fuss.
âUh.. well no, not yet. What Jimin came up with was no good.â
Hurtful.. But Jimin let it go because she did just saved his ass there. Although he was sure sheâd question him about it later.
Dinner went great with everyone having fun. Then, they were about to move from the table to where the small, shit TV Y/N brought from her familyâs old house was. As mentioned before, Y/Nâs room was smaller than Jimin and Taehyungâs. So was her couch. If they were gonna watch Home Alone as planned, one of them had to sit on the floor cushion.
After losing rock-paper-scissors Jimin was stuck doing the dishes. Y/N went to the TV to put the movie on and Taehyung took a seat on the couch, waiting for her to join him when she was done. But Y/N sat on the cushion instead, trying to be polite to her guests. As Taehyung was contemplating on how to get her to come up to the couch, Jimin appeared and went straight to sit next to Y/N.
âGuys, isnât it cold to sit on the ground? Maybe we can all squeeze here.â
âThere?â Y/N looked up to him over her shoulder and joked bitterly. âYou donât even believe that.â
âAlright but at least one of you can come up here. Y/N?â
âNah, Iâll warm us up. Câmere, panda.â Jimin pulled Y/N to him until there was no more space and trapped her in his embrace. Taehyung wasnât supposed to get jealous. Theyâd always do that. Cling onto each other any chance they get, casually hold hands and even sleep next to each other. But the eyeing look Jimin occasionally gave him over his shoulder made it seem like all this wasnât just bff stuff. Taehyung felt that maybe Jimin was trying to keep Y/N away or even, to himself.
After the movie was over, Taehyung excused himself, saying he felt exhausted. He was awake since before sunrise, after all. Actually, so was Jimin but he on the other hand didnât plan on leaving any time soon. Y/N was seeing Taehyung out, with a smile on her face. Taehyung returned it shyly, eyes on the ground until he gathered the courage to look up at her through the fringe of his hair.
âThanks for everything. Especially the soup. I had a bit of a sore throat but not anymore. Youâre my hero.â
That last part came out with so much meaning, words dipped in his velvety voice. And it made Y/N beam at him.
âYou wanna hang out tomorrow?â
Jimin stopped breathing. Of course he was listening in before, while pretending to be on his phone. But right now, they had his full, undivided attention.
It came as a bit of a shock to Y/N as well. It wouldnât sound like a big deal -just hanging out, if it werenât for the eager look on Taehyungâs face.
âYeah..â The word just slipped out of Y/Nâs mouth before she could even think.
It was Taehyungâs turn to beam. âGreat.â With that, he bid his farewell and left, all the while grinning like a fool.
Y/N was also smiling while closing the door but that was only until she turned around and saw the weâre about to have a serious talk face Jimin had.
âYou do know he meant that as a date, right?â Jimin had gotten up from his seat, panicked and jumpy.
âWhy did you lie to him about coming here early?â
He scoffed at her attempt to change the subject.
âBecause I wanted to talk to you alone, about all this. Would you rather I brought him along?â His voice was loud.
âWhat more is there to say? Youâve already told me you were okay with it!â
Jimin dropped all of his defenses at that. Because it was true. Why wouldnât he be? Taehyung was maybe the only guy he could trust with Y/N. So he wasnât really worried. What was the name of the feeling sitting heavily on his chest, then? He didnât know.
âI know.â he said in a low voice that sounded like a whisper and sat back down on the couch. âAnd I want you to feel- I dunno.. happy. I see how you smile at him, too.â He was more mumbling than talking. Because it was hard saying all this, for reasons he didnât understand. âYou know I love your smile.â
Y/N blushed out of nowhere at his last comment. And the upset state of him softened her so she went over to him. Jimin continued:
âI just, I guess I donât like sharing your smile.. or you.â
Y/N brought her hand on his chin to pull his head up and make him look at her.
âChim Chim.. youâre worried about nothing.â
He tried to avert his gaze once more but Y/N held it in place.
âHey, I mean it. Because itâs not even a big deal as you make it out to be and even if it was.. I already promised you, didnât I?â
Jimin wanted to be relieved. And he pretended to be in that moment and said goodnight shortly after. But as he strolled outside in the cold he felt like there was more he wanted to say to her. He silently promised he would, as soon as he figures it out himself.
âŚ
Authorâs note: Hello:) That was long, sorry. I just canât stop writing this one. Thank you so so much if you bared with me and read it, I hope you liked it. Iâve got more intense stuff planned for the story so this will have at least one more part for sure. What do you guys think? Who should Y/N end up with?
#sorry annoying tags#jimin imagine#jimin#taehyung#taehyung imagine#bts imagines#bangtan imagines#bts angst#bts fluff#jimin fluff#best friend au#jimin best friend#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#vmin#jimin fic#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts v#v imagine#park jimin#kim taehyung#jimin angst#jimin scenarious#bangtan scenarios#bangtan boys#bts fanfction#jimin fanfic#jimin imagines#myfics
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Rowvember day 16- Hurt
Definition
1. cause pain or injury to
2. Be detrimental to
3.physically injured
Summary- My mindâs rendition of what happened after Playa and Lin were shoved in the trunk of Linâs car. Of course I write with my girl in mind, and I reckon this is when âThe Bossâ was really born in SR1, how everything went down with Lin changed a lot in the Saints, changed Playa.
Words- 2,403
Shea was only half conscious when her memory kicked back in, she became dimly aware that she was somewhere dark, but they had just stopped after travelling what must have been a good distance, she could make out the sound of ship foghorns in the distance. The docks. When did they get to the docks?
   And why did she feel so feverish and weak? She remembered a bat to the face.  a needle sliding into her arm, a blurry blue lined limo, but her brain hurt when she tried to remember anything more. Everything hurt.
Crying, someone was crying. It stopped abruptly when light shone in...wherever they were. Two figures looking down at them, Lin trying to reason with...Donnie was it? That squirrelly little mechanic that always hung around Price. The other- Sharp. He had a gun.
    A gunshot rang out, and Lin didn't speak anymore, Donnie yelled at Sharp before he stormed off. What the fuck was going on? So many things...it almost seemed funny. She giggled, and Sharp's attention was drawn to her, his face surprised. Another gunshot.
Pain knifed white hot through her chest and Shea embraced darkness. It wasn't the first time she'd blacked out, and she had a feeling it wouldn't be the last either.
***
â...Hey. You even fucking alive?!â Linâs voice woke her but she just wanted to go back to sleep, everything was an effort right now and dreamland was just out of reach. A sharp painful kick made her eyes snap open, and she growled and kicked back on instinct, and Lin hissed, âOw! You coulda just said yes!â she said as Shea tried to move her arms to push herself up, but nothing happened.
   So she was still tied up. Shea began to bend her body back on herself to get at the knife in her boot when Shea became aware that something cold and wet began to circle her. Water.
âLin?â she asked, and heard her voice waver. âIsnât this the trunk of your car?â
âYeah.â
âFuck.â Shea hissed through her teeth, still thrashing to get her knife
âHey! Found my lighter!â Lin wheezed, a rattle in her chest set alarm bells ringing in Shea's head and she moved double time. She could smell, taste and feel blood in the trunk, hers or Lin's she didn't know. Maybe it was a little or a lot of both.
Just a little further, Shea frowned as her fingers skimmed the top of her knife, just a little-aha! Triumphant, Shea began hacking at her bindings.
âI'm-I'm sorry.â Lin said after a long pause, she sounded so weak and far away.
âTell me when we get out of here, yeah?â
âI shouldn't have called, I shouldn't have dragged you...â Lin trailed off, and Shea kicked her back into consciousness.
âStay with me honey.â Shea warned, trying to stay calm as she worked on the ties, and Lin laughed.
âDid you hear that asshole Donnie? He said I was his girl.â
Got it!
    The cable tie gave way and Shea returned the knife to her boot, trying to keep her head above water she dragged Lin over to her.
âLin?â she asked tapping her cheek, âLin honey?â the silence seemed to stretch on forever, and the water level rose to dangerous levels. There was only one thing for it, she had to get Lin out of there, âLin, deep breath sweetie.â Shea said before she held her breath and pulled her head underwater. The trunk roof would be locked and could only open from outside, so Shea focused all her energy into kicking the back seat through until there was a hole big enough to push Lin through to the main car before following after her. Â
She's gonna fucking kill me when she sees the state of her car. Shea thought.
      She collected the pistol that Lin kept in the glove compartment before grabbing hold of Lin's waist and shooting a bullet through the glass of the passenger side door. The bullet carved a spiderweb in the glass before it gave way and a ton of water crashed down upon their heads. She tried to move, but cramp seized her leg and she hissed, taking in a breath and swallowing way to much water. It felt like it filed her lungs. Panic set in.
    Refusing to die here, Shea kicked upwards through the water towards the surface as fast as she could: she needed to take a new breath, so did Lin. The cramp still assaulted her legs and Lin's dead weight didn't help things.
Wait, dead weight?
    That scared her more then anything else, finding strength from some unknown reserve she moved through the water quicker, but the water chopped and churned all around her and she struggled to keep her mouth shut and keep Lin's slipping hand in hers. But fate was so cruel.
   A particularly fast current ripped Lin from her and Shea screamed, bubbles of sound floating around her. Air, she needed air. She needed to find Lin. Her blood pounded in her ears and her chest burned. She flailed her arms in the abyss, hoping to catch hold of Lin again but her brain's need for oxygen made her body make for the surface.
     Her head broke the inky blackness of the waves as the current shoved her to and fro. Waves crashed over her head and rain beat down on her skin, the droplets of ice adding to the dark chill of the water.
   She breathed in deep, then dived under again, swimming in the direction where Lin had been wrenched away from her, but with the waves crashing above she had no idea if she was even swimming in a straight line, let alone in the right direction. The need to breathe clawed at her and she made for the surface once more, heading towards land.
   She sobbed and collapsed onto the beach, her already pain seized body churning out cries that only heightened the stabbing, she knew Lin had died shortly after she'd last spoke to Shea.
Only Shea didn't want to believe it.
   She didn't know how long she stayed there, she had no fucking idea what time it was in the first place, she had no phone, they had taken it off of her before and she found herself utterly at a loss. Then Shea began to shake violently, falling victim to an almighty coughing fit that ultimately sent her scrambling for the water so she could be sick. It felt like her body was trying to rip itself apart. She fell forwards into the water, closing her eyes for just a few seconds.
***
Possibly for the second time that day, Shea was wrenched back from the brink of death. Her eyes snapped open and she sat bolt upright, coughing to eject water from her lungs as she tried to pinpoint just what had resurrected her.
Car engines, laughter. Rollerz.
   Shea's eyes fell on the car headlights, something predatory awakened and the need for revenge set her nerves alight, reigniting her life. Her mind made up, she headed for the source of the noise like a ghost that couldn't be granted rest. Not until the debt was paid in blood. The lights of the cars were speeding away from her, and she set off at a run. By the time she got there, one Roller remained. She snapped his neck, a far quicker death than what they had planned for her and Lin, and the thought made her blood boil as she got in the car and gave chase.
   The cars were racing eachother, the occupants whooping and hollering, so Shea joined the race knowing that Sharp was in one of them, she would just have to kill every single one of these fuckers until she found him. She pulled up alongside the driverâs side of one, and he rolled down his window, probably to talk to who he thought was his comrade. His face turned to one of horror when he saw Shea instead.
â'Ainât you dead?â he asked, and Shea smirked and pounced, sinking the knife deep into his heart, the Roller next to the driver screamed and tried to stem the blood flow as Shea sped out in front. Watching the car lose control and plough into a wall, Shea didn't stop to check if they were dead or not.
    The other Rollerz now knew something was wrong and slammed on their Nitrous, Shea did the same, closing the gap in mere seconds as she flicked open the glove compartment, finding the pistol there. Pistol in the glove compartment was like an unspoken rule or something.
     She flipped the safety catch, leaned out of the window and took aim, shooting the tires out of one of the cars, causing that one to crash further up the road. One car broke from the convoy and retreated, wanting no part of Shea or her vengeance.
    Shea lined up her shot and fired through the back window, catching one of those sat in the back, another bullet and she hit the driver too, killing him instantly, the car shuddered to a halt. The remaining Rollerz in the car scrambled out and ran away from Shea as fast as they could while she caught up to the last car in the convoy. Sharp's. She leaned over to the window, coughed. Spat out whatever had collected in her throat,
    Sharp tried outmanoeuvring her but it was obvious that he wasn't used to driving a car of his own. Shea stayed on his arse until she realised he was coming up to a set of crossroads. Tiring of this cat and mouse game, she veered off from the path, turned a corner, turned another, then slammed down on the accelerator until she was flying down the road.
As she thought, thinking he was safe, Sharp had slowed down.
   Shea had a last glimpse of the look of total shock on Sharp's face as she closed the gap between them at frightening speeds, he had no time to turn or accelerate.
   Shea smashed into him, pushing his car forwards until he was sandwiched between the wall and her car. Her body was jerked forwards from the impact, then thrown backwards as the airbag inflated, she struck her head and didn't even know she was knocked clean out until she came to a few moments later, sat in a haze of acrid smelling smoke.
    She blinked back blood from her eyes and looked around, saw the twisted lump of metal that was a mix of the front of her car, and Sharp's. She couldn't see him but the amount of shit she'd withstood that night she decided not to take any chances. She kept an eye on the wreck, taking pistol to hand she kicked the drivers door open and stepped out of the car. A shooting pain in her leg told her she'd damaged that in the crash too, she winced, panting and dragged her leg over to Sharp's car.
    A number of people had begun to swarm around the crash site, trying to get into the car to get to Sharp. But she wasn't going to let him be helped. No way, not when her friend was dead because of him. Not after all he'd done.  The anger came back ten fold.
âGet the fuck away from him!â she growled, and the civilians turned round.
âHe needs help!â
âAway from the car!â she fired the pistol into the air, ânow!â she snarled and the people scarpered, letting Shea rip the driver's door open and point her gun at a motionless and bloody Sharp. There was no way he was getting out of the car anyway, his body pinned in the clutches of the gnarled metal of the vehicle. When Shea next spoke, she'd never heard herself in that deadly cold tone before, if she was someone else, it would have given her chills. âStop playing dickhead, at least face your death with some dignity.â
Sharp stirred, and the cold blue ice of his eyes met her molten fury.
âYou should...be dead.â he said, and she allowed him to process her survival, that heâd know it was her that was going to take him out.
   She pulled the trigger. The gun went off and Sharp's head exploded into billions of pieces, spraying the car, and Shea's trigger arm with his blood. Her arm shook, and she lowered the gun.
    The adrenaline was consumed from her blood and she suddenly felt colder, weaker. Her body felt like lead, but ached painfully as though she'd lived a thousand lives, a dull ache as a growing numbness swept over her and her legs gave out from under her. She crouched on all fours coughing, wheezing as a rattle began to clatter in her chest. Her vision blurred.
    A fine bloody mist mixed with a few clots stained the tarmac below her. She winced and clutched at her chest as she tried to breathe. Saw it come away bloody.
Shit I'm bleeding.
   From what? When the fuck did that happen? Shea asked herself as she looked down at the wound oozing her lifeblood from her body, something in her memory stirred, a flash of fire, a sharp white hot pain knifing through her chest.
âShit. I've gotta get back to the row.â she wheezed, dragging herself back into the road, someone stopped to help as they saw the carnage but Shea pulled the gun on them, making them freeze in their tracks.
âHey, whoa whoa whoa, I just wanna help, let me help.â he said, hands up in surrender.
âYou can't help him now.â
âAnd you?â
   Shea paused as a wave of nausea threatened its rise up her throat, and the gun fell slightly before she came back to reality.
âI don't want your help.â she hissed, circling to the car slowly.
âSure, whatever-just, just don't hurt me yeah?â he stammered, maybe it was the blood, maybe it was the look in her eyes; or maybe it was the way her eyelids fluttered, the way she wheezed with every rise and fall of her chest. The man threw her his keys, and she turned away from him, driving off with his car without so much as another word.
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Price to be Paid - Chapter 25
AO3 link here
You were absolutely frozen.Â
Of course, of all the trolleys in Saint Denis and all the people to sit next to, you had chosen the spot next to Mary Linton. She looked perfectly pressed in a gown much more suited to her than the one you picked for yourself of a teal blue that made her eyes shine, and hair pinned with such accuracy you knew you could never replicate it. It burned your insides to see she was just as lovely as you had imagined even if you had secretly hoped she was ugly and cruel.Â
Mary watched you with her hand out and you realized how utterly rude you had been.Â
âYN! YN Moore, pleasure to meet you.âÂ
Part of you had expected her to recoil at your name, scream and start to cry at the strange coincidence you had sat next to her. But instead she smiled widely and let her hands settle politely in her lap as the trolley bounced along the street.Â
So Arthur hadnât mentioned you after all.Â
âDo you come often into Saint Denis?â You asked hesitantly.
Mary shook her head, watching the buildings pass on by. âNo, just came to chase down my father. Itâs embarrassing, really, but I asked someone for their help and I feel like Iâve taken advantage of what we used to have.âÂ
She had the indecency to look beautiful as a blush worked its way up her cheeks.Â
âIâm sure they were just trying to help, because of the circumstances.âÂ
You hoped the answer would change the subject as you were in no mood to discuss Arthur with a semi stranger. It felt wrong to know who she was and have her remain in the dark. The imbalance of it all made your stomach upset.Â
âWell, I knew they would come, and thatâs the problem.â She shook her head and looked away from you. âIf you ask someone for a favor but you know they are honorbound to say yes, is it really a request or does it become a demand? I, itâs not easy to be a single woman, itâs powerless, and I needed someone with power. Most folks I associate with at home are, well, you know, shallow and wouldn't help someone out unless it benefited them in some way.â
Mary looked a bit desperate as she spoke as if she was looking for your approval. You werenât in the mood to give it willingly but you would listen, and maybe begin to understand.Â
âDepends on what you have with this person, I would guess.â
âIâm sorry,â she played with her skirt ruffles while she spoke. âI donât mean to speak so openly, youâre kind to listen. This person and I used to be engaged. Part of me still wishes we could go back and change the past, ignore my father and just follow our hearts. But every time I play it out it never would have worked; I couldnât live the way he did, my family would have disowned me, and I would have isolated myself from every possible avenue of a life resembling what I had always known. I was young and naive to think that things would just fall into place, but being around him makes me think maybe, just maybe, we could take on the world together. I know that isnât the case, I donât love him like I used to, but itâs the intoxication of being swept up in that fantasy.â
âI used to be engaged, when I was young as well. Thereâs something about a first love that never really leaves you, even when you know it isnât right anymore Itâs...hard to move on and accept that life turned out the way it did, but sometimes the best choices for us arenât the easiest.â
Mary watched you with a focused look while you talked about Henry. It wasnât the same situation, of course with Henry dying suddenly, but things were starting to make a little more sense as to why Arthur and Mary were drawn to one another. It wasnât true love, or any kind of love at all but more the echos from when they were younger. They had a bond, and as much as you didnât like it, it wasnât something that would just go away and if you were to take Arthur into your life, you would have to accept it.Â
âIt looks like you made a good choice now! Thereâs a beautiful ring on your finger.âÂ
âYes, and he is good and I love him.â You beamed down at your hand, knowing what you had to do. âMiss Linton Iâm afraid I havenât been completely honest with you. I didnât know you before except by name, and I truly am sorry for barging next to you on the trolley like this. I know you met up with Arthur Morgan earlier, and I have to tell you heâs the one Iâm engaged too.â
The trolley bell made a loud clang as the two of you sat in silence. Mary looked out to the street of Saint Denis as you passed a park with families strolling by. You thought she wiped a tear from her eye but couldnât tell as she refused to look back at you for a moment.Â
âMiss Linton, Iâm sorry to spring this on you -â
âNo. Donât be.â Mary finally faced you, a smile on her face. âI...you know I was talking about Arthur, then. I am sorry to have dragged you both into my affairs, I never meant to, I just didnât have anywhere else to turn and in truth took advantage of what we used to have.â
âItâs actually alright, Miss Linton. You are not a bad person, just a person stuck in a bad situation. I started out today in a foul mood but after getting to know you I strangely feel better.â You laughed at the absurdity of what just came out of your mouth. Mary Linton had been a hateful, deceitful hag in your mind until you sat down on that trolley and you hadnât realized just how happy you would have been to keep on living that lie.Â
âIf it makes you feel better, he really does love you.âÂ
You looked over at her surprised. That had never been a doubt in your mind but something in her tone made you think he had proved it to Mary somehow.Â
âI, oh lord, forgive me, I asked him to run away with me just before I got on the trolley. I donât know what came over me, I just blurted it out like an imbecile.â Mary was quiet and as you listened you felt your temper rising, but forced it down in an effort to maintain some decorum. âHe of course said no, that that part of our lives was over and he had someone who loved him flaws and all, not despite of them. And that must you.âÂ
âHe saved me, in more ways than one. And itâs not always easy. Thereâs a lot of outside factors but at the end of the day heâs a good man, justâŚâ
âLike heâs wrestling with a giant,â she finishes your sentences softly.Â
The trolley drove by a street corner where someone yelled about a cause they were supporting, asking those walking by to donate anything they could. The sun filtered through the trees and cast odd shaped shadows on the cobblestones that had been worn down by each passing thing whether it was a horse or a street car. What a strange city, you thought, so full of life and color and heartbreak. Things hadnât turned out like you thought they would but from what you had learned, that was usually okay.
âI think weâre more alike than we could ever guess, Miss Linton. Which probably says more about Arthur than it does the two of us.â Mary gave a startled laugh, hiding behind one hand as the trolley slowed to a halt. The conductor announced this was the end of the line and that after five minutes it would head the other way. Mary stood and asked how to get to the train station as you filtered out with the crowd.Â
Charles wasnât at the stop so you waited for Mary to exit and join you on the sidewalk. She smiled and quickly fixed a strand of hair that had loosened from her bun, enjoying the feeling of the afternoon sun. With no escort she seemed nervous, so you offered to walk her over to the train station.Â
âI will tell you, if you had told me that all of this would happen today I wouldn't have believed you in a million years!â She seemed giddy walking down the street.Â
âMiss LintonâŚâ
âMary, please.âÂ
âMary,â you tried again with a smile. âI still feel awful, like I deceived you somehow. Please know that was never my intention.â
Just as she opened her mouth to respond someone called out your name, a low, gravely voice you instantly recognized. There was a small crowd behind you but Arthur and Charles sat high on their horses, a strange look on both of their faces. Arthur climbed down and threw the reins to Charles before approaching with hesitation.Â
âOh, for heavenâs sake Arthur itâs alright, I wonât bite.â Mary said flatly. You were sure he was panicking inside at seeing the two of you together.Â
âYN, I didnât know you were in the city.âÂ
âCharles didnât mention it?â Arthur shook his head. âThatâs alright. I came after you, but we ran into someone and I then found Miss Li-, Mary on the trolley. We actually had a lovely conversation and were walking to the train station to see her off.âÂ
Arthur stood frozen, like if he moved the illusion would break. It was funny, really, but you didnât laugh as you let him process whatever was racing through his mind. You were sure seeing his old and current betrothed together was a strange and terrible sight.Â
âArthur, should weâŚ?â You motioned to the station and he snapped back from his momentary lapse. He cleared his throat and walked up next to the two of you, unsure of whether to offer his arm or walk in silence.Â
The rest of the walk only took a few minutes and it passed by in comfortable conversation between Mary and yourself. She told you about her home and her brother who she was quite proud of, and how he was looking into going for schooling after something Arthur had convinced him of. Your fiance snorted, causing both you and Mary to give him a dirty look, and he mumbled something about how it would be good for Jaime to get out in the world and be stable.Â
A strange pang shocked your heart at their casual intimacy and chatter about Maryâs brother. It was something you didnât share with Arthur as any questions about your family had been deflected and you hoped he wouldn't bring it up. You realized now that was foolish, and one day he simply wouldn't take a distraction as an answer. The unfortunate bond to your parents would need to be brought to light soon as your father kept reminding you by popping up at every turn.Â
The train whistled loudly, steam pouring onto the station platform and signalling it was ready to leave. Mary thanked you both and stepped up to the car, but paused halfway up and turned back.Â
She took your hands in her and gave a soft squeeze. âI genuinely wish the both of you every happiness in the world. I, itâs nice to know Arthur has someone like you looking out for him.âÂ
âMary, if you ever need anything, please donât hesitate to write. Itâs not easy to get by on your own, you do have support if you need it.â Arthur smiled and tipped his hat as the train let out another blast. Mary waved and stood frozen safely on the stop step as the train pulled out from the station.Â
You and Arthur watched as the train faded into nothing more than a blip on the horizon.Â
âThat was...how did you evenâŚâ
Arthur stuttered at your side trying to comprehend what happened. You smiled up at him.Â
âI came after you to apologize. I was wrong Arthur, very wrong, and never should have tried to stop you from helping Mary. Charles came with me into the city and we tried to find you, but he spotted some Pinkertons and we had to escape. He took the horses and I jumped on the trolley next to a very surprised Mary Linton. We actually got along very well, she told me about how you helped her and it just solidified my thought that you are one of the best men Iâve ever met.âÂ
Arthur blushed at your words and looked around. Spotting no one, he swept you up into a brief hug, resting his head in the crook of your neck and squeezing.Â
âTruth be told I only did it because I thought itâs what you would have done. Helping people out...thatâs your thing. Being kind, yâknow.âÂ
You laughed and linked your arm through Arthurâs. All feuds forgotten, you strolled back through the city to find Charles. He told you about chasing Maryâs father all over Saint Denis; the meeting at the stables, chasing down the loan shark, and after all that Maryâs father still escaped their grasps. You laughed and gasped dramatically as Arthur retold everything, feeling like he wanted you in on the secret of him and Maryâs relationship, whatever it may be. It was a good feeling, being accepted and wanted. After he finished you told him about Brother Dorkins and how Charles saved two poor souls who were being held captive.Â
âOh, I met him. The Brother, he was with Charles I guess after you got on the trolley. Walked them back to their church and made sure they werenât followed.â
So Charles had diverted Arthur from running into your father. What a nightmare that would have been, but the thought of Agent Milton moving about somewhere in the same city brought your fears back and you suddenly wanted to be out of Saint Denis more than anything. Your eyes scanned everyone who passed by for the possibility of him running into you and what that would mean. You hadnât spoken about your parents in nearly a year and the topic still made your stomach turn.Â
What would Arthur think when he found out?
Charles whistled from across the street. You and Arthur crossed to meet him and leave as soon as possible. Arthur asked if everything was alright as you took off through the streets, trying to put as much distance between you and Agent Milton as possible. Your only response was a smile as words were not able to form for you at the moment.Â
âYouâre back! And just in time, too. We need to prepare for a ball, Cinderella.âÂ
Dutch greeted the three of you at camp with the strange sentence and you cast a confused look at Arthur. Hadnât you just been to a dance in Rhodes?
Arthur grunted. âDutch, you know I hate dressing upâŚâ
Dutch laughed and approached the two of you. Swinging his arm around Arthurâs shoulder to steer him over towards Hosea you heard him say, âJust think of it as a practice for your wedding. Now, what we have here is a change to get on the good side of Angelo Bronte at a party the Mayor is throwing.â
You chuckled watching Arthurâs panicked face throw you a glance for help but you just waved him off and started brushing Eclipse. Her hair was dirty from the smog of Saint Denis and she made appreciative sounds as it slowly became clearer and clearer. Kieran hadnât brushed her in the past few days so she was overdue. The other horses nearby looked dirty too, like Kieran hadnât been keeping up with his duties.Â
The next week moved at the same pace set by the heat lingering around Shady Belle; heavy and unrelenting in its molasses slow pace. You helped cut more vegetables, wash more clothes, and sort more herbs than you cared to remember and more than once you and Karen snapped at each other purely for something to do. She may not always get along with you, but as someone who worked hard for the gang she respected you and you felt the same towards her.Â
Days started to feel repetitive. While it was wonderful to have a routine and sleep under a roof, not everyone agreed that you deserved it after such a short time with the group. Micah certainly made it known that he should be in your and Arthurâs room, not you, but someone usually told him to quiet down if he got too rowdy.Â
One day, Dutchâs plan finally came into fruition.Â
âGentleman! Tonight is the night we set off, hair brushed and oiled, shoes shined, and dressed to the nines so we can charm the pants of this god forsaken shit hole called Saint Denis.â He waited while people laughed at his show, then continued on. âHosea, myself, Bill, andâŚâ his eyes crossed the gang. âMary Beth will be off to the mayor's house.âÂ
It was not lost on you how quickly Dutchâs eyes flitted past you.Â
Mary Beth balked. âMe? You need some pick pocketing done?âÂ
âNo, nothing like that. We just need a woman who can move about precisely in high society is all.âÂ
A disgusted noise came from Molly as she threw a rag down and stalked back into the house. Dutch just huffed and turned back to the younger woman.Â
But Mary Beth was still confused. âI ainât like the others, you could take YN or Abigail and dress them up. Why me?â
Micah annoyingly stepped forward to answer. At his first step Mary Beth crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. âBecause, Miss Gaskil, youâre beautiful, and young, and good enough to distract people into thinking they have a false sense of security when in reality weâre robbing them blind.â
âBut I thought you said -â
âEnough.â Dutch had his spotlight stolen and was incredibly frustrated by how the events had gone. It was his story to tell why was no one listening?
âMary Beth. We ainât robbing. Itâs just a dinner party and we figured a pretty young girl like you should experience the finer things in life. YN went to that ball back in Rhodes and Abigail we thought wouldnât want to leave young Jack so soon. Plus, with John not there, things could get out of hand.âÂ
Arthurâs eyebrows shot up to the top of his hairline. Clearly this was something he hadnât discussed with Dutch and you know they all watched poor Abigail flail about feeling stuck in her position.Â
The look on Dutchâs face said the decision was final. You were strangely okay with this as you had no desire to dress up and preen about the high society of the men who kidnapped Abigailâs son. But Arthur clearly wasnât.Â
âDutch, if Iâm going so is YN. Thatâs final.âÂ
Dutch sighed, looking exhausted. âMy boy, if that happens then Iâll have to -â
âItâs happening. We can find a second carriage.â
âFine.â You watched the scene, frozen. Not wanting to push any boundaries you opened your mouth to speak but Dutch silenced you with a look and you waited for him to continue. âWe are guests of Angelo Bronte and will clean up before heading out. That means you all bathe, yes, even you Bil, and for godâs sake wear a suit. We will meet after supper and head in together, as Arthur so eloquently said, in two wagons.â
A flush worked its way up your chest and face. âI donât want to make trouble, Dutch.â
âWhatâs done is done. We will all head in and be on our best behaviour and make this worth our while! Be ready by seven.â
Arthur balked at the older man and joined you near Pearsonâs wagon. âNever seen him like that. Wonder why he put up a fight about bringing you along.â
âWell, he was right. Mary Beth is beautiful and charming and...younger.â You wrap your arms around your middle, suddenly self conscious. Arthur laughed softly at your expression, which earned him a dark glare.Â
âYou ainât old, darlinâ, youâre younger than me and even so thereâs nothing wrong with it. Dutch has been strange lately, that performance included.â He looped your arm through his and walked over to the house. âLetâs go into town, take the day to get ready for that party tonight, hmm?âÂ
You nodded and allowed him to drag you away. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Molly dart out of sight as you as Arthur approached and a pang of guilt hit your chest.Â
As soon as your bag was packed for the day you closed the door to your room and promised Arthur you would be down shortly. Something was drawing you over to the small sitting room next to Dutch and Mollyâs room. It was a quiet afternoon and the sun filtered in through the wooden blinds casting beams of light to dance around the room.Â
âHosea?â The older man grunted as he looked up. âI think Molly should go tonight instead of Mary Beth. I know sheâs not...I think it would clear the air, make things a bit better between her and Dutch, which in turn means better for us. You know she would charm the pants right off of those society men and get a chance to flex her uses.âÂ
Hosea blinked in response. He seemed to ponder your words for a moment, scratching his chin while his eyebrows pulled together. From somewhere downstairs Arthur called for you, so you told Hosea to consider your idea and waved goodbye.Â
The ride into town was uneventful. Your mind was racing with thoughts of a real bath and nice clothes to be focused on the dusty road below you. Arthur was talking to you about something, but suddenly the thought of being in town reminded you that just a week ago your father had been there and almost caught you. If there was a chance he would find you or Arthur, things would turn bad very quickly.Â
"...and Hosea told me once about mixing flowers and herbs together to make poultices, like for medical purposes, and how Bessy taught him."
You took the pause in his speech as a chance to reply noncommittally with a nod.Â
Arthur saw right through that.Â
"He also said that if you bathe in the waters of Saint Denis that your skin would turn as green as grass."Â
You looked around the bridge entrance with a sharp eye. "Uh huh, wow, he's so smart."Â
"And eating yellow daisies under a full moon will let you turn into one of them, but for a day."Â
"Hmm, wait what did you say?" You turned to find Arthur stifling a laugh by looking away from you but it wasn't working.Â
"Something on your mind you want to talk about, sweetheart?" His voice was low as he asked.Â
âIâm just,â you sighed dramatically, âworried is all. Did Charles tell you about the Pinkertons we saw?âÂ
Arthur nodded. âMet that Brother Dorkins character, too. Not sure what to make of him. Seems nice enough, genuine, but all those religious types do, right? Thatâs how they get you.âÂ
You laughed and chastised Arthur for mocking the man and in turn he told you he was only joking. Brother Dorkins was a good man; he put helping others above all else in his life and truly committed to the selfless way that he had been taught. You felt good about how you and Charles had helped him the other day and were glad Arthur had been able to spend time talking to him.Â
Once the horses were tied up out front you headed into the tailor shop together. Arthur was quickly ushered over to the men's side and you followed a young woman to look at dresses.Â
It was all breathtaking. The glamor of what life could be like stared you down in the reflection wearing a low cut deep red dress. It whispered about high heeled boots and soft, elegant gloves that would accompany you on a night out to see a show. It sighed in your ears to the sound of string lacing up your back and the tug of the corset that restricted your movement. The sweet symphony swelled with the swish of the dressing room curtains and you took center stage, ready to present the illusion to Arthur.Â
He spit out the sip of water he had just accepted from the shopkeeper.Â
Quickly the man jumped into action to clean up the spill and you simply arched an eyebrow. The woman next to you knew she had done good work from the reaction and you smiled at her like you shared a secret. The burgundy material clung to your chest and hips, billowing out behind you like a cloud. It was large and overdone, but even you could see through the poshness of it and admire the way you looked like a dream. No one could stand in your way with this dress, not even Arthur and his dapper looking tuxedo. In which he looked stunning as well.Â
âSee something you like, Mr. Morgan?â You rested a hand on your hip as you sauntered over, enjoying the way his eyes ran up and down you languidly.Â
He ran a hand over his eyes to hide the obscenities that flew from his mouth. âOnly you could make that dress look like that, Iâm not so sure I want to buy it for you.â
âWhy not!â You pouted, sticking your lip out.Â
You could see him restrain himself as he took your hand gently and turned you around. He pretended to fix something on the back of your dress and suddenly you were very aware that both of the workers were watching you.Â
âIf anyone so much as thinks about you looking like that Iâd put a bullet between his eyes before you could stop me.â
After you both changed back to your street clothes and paid, you decided to walk to the hotel to bathe as it wasnât as far as you had thought. Arthur let you hold onto his arm and point out things you liked along the way, like the small birds singing in the air and the way the horses hooves echoed streets away from the trolley car. It was vibrant and new and you loved it, oblivious to the way Arthur never took his eyes off of you.Â
The clerk at the hotel was bored and barely paid any attention to the two of you as you paid for baths. At the last second Arthur purchased a room for the night for you two to stay in after the dinner, and you almost missed the wicked glint in his eye.Â
You moaned louder than you should have as you sank down into the beautifully hot water. Any aches you had before were gone in that weightless space and you watched the dirt from days and days simply scrub away. You had been trying to clean yourself every few days at least but living in the swamps made it difficult. Between the bugs and the sweat and the need to bring someone with you in case an alligator had its eyes on you, the actual bathing amount was questionable. Laying in the bubbly bliss was pure heaven.Â
A soft knock at the door was followed by a voice asking if you wanted extra assistance but you declined. The bar of soap was easy enough to manage and you plunged your head below the water to begin attacking your hair.Â
You eventually left the small paradise you had found and dried off, impressed with the result of one simple bath. It was something you would need to indulge in more regularly.Â
Arthur beamed at you as you entered the small room and motioned to the bed where he had laid out your dress. It was approaching time to leave for the mayorâs and you had too many buttons and laces to be able to dress yourself. Arthur kissed your neck as he helped you dress and looked at you again like a wolf stalking its prey. It made your stomach flip and flutter as you thought about what the night held in store.Â
Dutch greeted the two of you with a harumph as you entered the carriage outside. He chomped down on one end of a cigar and looked sour until Arthur found a glass of champagne. Dutch was dressed to the nines in a beautiful black suit and matching top hat. Someone, you guessed Hosea, had stuck a white flower into his lapel and he leaned back in his element. It didnât take long for Dutch and Arthur to be howling with laughter at thoughts of the old days and how ridiculous it was to be headed to a mayorâs ball, of all things. You sat squished across from Bill who avoided your gaze and opted to stare out the window, throwing back the glass of champagne Dutch handed him instead of savoring it like you were.Â
You asked Dutch if he wanted you to lift anything as there was likely to be good value in such a high society.Â
âOh, no, no, no, no! No pickpocketing. We are here to make some real contacts. We have to find what we can at this party where the guest of honor is the worst crook in town!â It wasnât long until he and Arthur and Bill were howling with laughter at this again and you watched on amusedly.Â
The men cheersed their drinks just as the carriage arrived outside of the manor gates and came to a slow stop. Someone opened the door and you exited first, excited to be around new people. Arthur held his arm for you to walk you down inside but stopped in his tracks and stared as another carriage pulled up behind yours.Â
âMy god, she actually cameâŚâ you whispered.Â
For as wonderful as you looked in the dress from the tailor, you had nothing on Molly OâShea. She stepped forth a queen in a stunning green jeweled dress dotted with accents of gold and black and red and perfectly matching jewelry. Her hair and makeup were flawless as well and made you wish you had brought at least a lipstick with you.Â
Her Irish accent was silky and slow as she took in her companions. âEvening, fellas. And Miss Moore, thatâs a stunning dress you have there.âÂ
You held Arthurâs arm, frozen as well, and watched as she and Dutch took their place in front of you. Hosea walked next, a smirk and a wink thrown your way as if to say he had finally come around and listened to your suggestion.Â
Bill huffed. âWell. This night just got a whole lot more interesting.â
The walkway was lined with white canvas tents stretched high above you and twinkling lights across the lawn. The house was a stunning two story building with Roman columns and a balcony that seemed to stretch around the entirety of the second floor. It was beautiful and matched the bold taste of those in the higher class of Saint Denis.Â
âLuca here will take you to Mr. Bronte.â A man at the front door accepted Dutchâs paper invitation and invited the crowd in, eyeing the number of people that entered in a way that let you know you were pushing the limits.Â
Luca was a smaller man, an inch or two below even you. He walked with a strut that made up for it as he guided the group into the foyay and spoke about the extensive history the house held as a jewel and a staple of Saint Denis. He lost you somewhere after you passed the chandelier, the sparkling beauty nearly stopping you in your tracks. Luca led you past the double staircase and multiple servants.Â
âHosea, Bill, YN, you three join the party. Signore Bronte does not want a crowd I am sure. We will meet you down here shortly and meet you out back after we pay our respects.â Molly clung to Dutchâs arm a little tighter, learning she was of importance to meet the guest of honor. Arthur simply rolled his eyes at you and you smiled back, not bothered by the slight.
Bill whistled as you stepped back out into the night air. âThis sure is a pretty place. Like the...lights and such.âÂ
Hosea told him to go find drinks while the two of you stood at the top of the stone staircase, a good spot for observing the party.Â
âHosea, Iâm flattered to even be here. I know Dutch seemed against it at first. Heâs bee strange lately, have you noticed?âÂ
The older man paused before thinking, mulling over the words running through his mind. âYou look lovely tonight YN. Sure picked a dress that could bring a man to his knees.â
âItâs not too much?â You fretted.Â
âNot at all, my dear. And as far as Dutch goes, Iâve noticed something is off as well. Letâs keep that to ourselves however, not everyone would agree with our observations. Might think we were going against him.â Bill held out two drinks for you and headed back into the crowd to play the part of upper society. You clinked your glass gently against Hoseaâs and enjoyed the taste of whatever it was you had sipped.Â
The garden below you was wide stretching, with trees and fountains and gazebos dotted around the grounds in an elegant arrangement. The same stringed lights from the front of the house were draped all around the backyard as well giving the evening a mood lighting of excitement and dreaminess.Â
You still couldn't believe it was all real. A few short months ago you were being held hostage by a savage man, and now you stood at the height of society, drinking and enjoying the view you had from the top.Â
It wasnât long before Dutch, Arthur, and Molly joined you on the balcony. Dutch and Molly looked quite pleased with themselves, talking about how enchanted Bronte was with Molly and her beauty. Arthur seemed hesitant and motioned for you to come stand by him as soon as Dutch was done retelling the riveting tale of working with the man of the hour.Â
âI think we should get outta here. These people, they ainât like us. Theyâre liars, and awful tricksters who do terrible things for a laugh.â Arthur shook his head, pointing out some people in the crowd who Bronte had mocked.Â
 âNative Americans? What do they need from the mayor?â You mused out loud.Â
âAlright, go ingratiate ourselves. And remember,â Dutch gave you a pointed look, âsteal nothing. Unless it's information. Find the mayor and stay outta trouble.âÂ
Arthur gave your arm a tug and together you headed into the crowd. You knew finding the mayor was the target, but to be honest you were mostly interested in meeting the Native Americans who were somewhere out in the gardens.Â
You and Arthur waltzed around to see what you could find, but most of the people were simple folk looking for idle conversation. It took an hour to make your way around in a lap and at the end you felt none the wiser. Sure, the caricature of Saint Denis was more vibrant and colorful after speaking to more of its residents but you knew that would be enough information to sustain Dutch.Â
A conversation behind you grabbed your attention and you turned so Arthur could face them men and join in.Â
âIt ainât complex, Lemieux. And only an idiot like you would try to make it so.âÂ
The small group of men stood near the fountain seeming to poke fun at the Frenchman. âI will not deny idiocy, sir, but perhaps now is not the time. You are drunk, Ferdinand.â
âIâm not drunk, you fool!â The loud man laughed and rocked backwards, grabbing the man next to him in order to remain standing. âBut this man! This man loves darkies.â
You blanched at the slur and Arthur took this queue to grab the manâs shoulders, turning him away from the group. It didnât take him long to lead him away before anyone could get too upset. You pretended to fan your face with your hand and draw the attention of the men back to you instead of watching the scene behind them.Â
âYour husband, madam?âÂ
You blushed. âBetrothed. A good man, Arthur. My name is YN.â
Arthur rejoined the group and shook hands with the other men. âThank you, sir. Henri Lemieux, I hope you are enjoying my party. Do you know Evelyn Miller?â
The name sounded familiar as Arthurâs face lit up. âMy lord. The writer?âÂ
âWell,â the man chuckled good heartedly. âWe seem to have another deranged drunkard in our midsts.âÂ
Behind Mr. Miller a loud boom echoed through the streets of the city. You winced and looked away from the bright lights exploding in the sky, unsure of what to think. Arthur placed his hand on your back and whispered that they were fireworks and you watched in awe. Flashes of light were met with oohs and ahhs from the crowd so you figured you must be safe, even if the air reeked of gunpowder.
A man in a white servants uniform pushed through the group towards the mayor, pulling him to the side once he had his attention. A sharp whisper brought the words âCornwallâ, âfool for trusting himâ, and âsign itâ carried across the air and you locked eyes with Arthur. This was a lead, something he should look into.Â
Dutch seemed to appear out of thin air. âHe say something about Cornwall? Find out what.âÂ
Arthur placed a chaste kiss to your cheek and slunk off into the crowd and off into the dark. You stood alone until Molly joined your side.Â
âMiss OâShea, that gown is...breathtaking.â Molly smiled, a rare motion for her.Â
âIâm glad tonight worked out. Hosea told me it was your idea to bring me along instead of Miss Gaskill, and I wanted you to know Iâm grateful. Dutch and I...we used to be so close but Iâm hoping he sees my worth after tonight. This dress was supposed to be for another type of party with me and Dutch, but I donât see that happening anytime soon.â
You smiled sadly at her, unsure of what to say.Â
âDo you ever miss Ireland?âÂ
âConstantly,â she answered without hesitation. âItâs a beautiful country, and Dublin is a gem that these cities donât hold a candle too. I hope you visit one day, see the green for yourself.â
âIâd like that.â Arthur returned to your side with a sly grin thrown at Dutch and a pat of his coat pocket. Dutch tipped his hat and watched the rest of the fireworks show with a wide grin.Â
Hosea and Bill find their way over and express their disinterest at staying any longer. On the walk out Hosea whispered to Dutch about a plan he had devised to rob the city bank, something someone at the party had brought to his attention. Dutch countered with a plan to rob the trolley station that Bronte had mentioned to him and Arthur. The gang seemed to just need one big score before they could be free, whatever Dutch meant by that.Â
Lenny drove up with the first carriage and you saw his eyes nearly fall out of his head at the sight of you. One look at Arthur snapped his neck forwards without daring another glance, but you laughed at the exchange and felt good about how the night had gone. Dutch, Bill, Molly, and Hosea climbed inside as you and Arthur remained on the sidewalk. He clapped the side of the wagon without a word and Lenny took off, a curt nod cast somewhere in your general direction.Â
âWell, Mr. Morgan, what should we do now?â
Arthur met your gaze with a low growl and a hungry look on his face. âGirl, you better run back to that hotel room because I know exactly what we are doing tonight.â
You squealed with delight and took off, hiking your skirt up around your knees to let you run. Arthur barked a laugh and chased after you, showing the upper society of Saint Denis that it couldn't tame you no matter how hard it tried.
#price to be paid#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#fanfic#I know#two chapters in a week#who is she#well#she is stuck in quarantine and happy to be writing again#arthur morgan#female reader
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My Girl ~ Curvy!Reader x Hamish Duke
The world needs more overprotective Hamish! ��
Trigger warnings:
Violence
Sitting on the couch you curled yourself deeper into the side of your boyfriend. You and Hamish had been together for just over six months, and it was safe to say that you were utterly in love with the boy. In a sense he was perfect, intelligent, kind, funny. Some days it made you wonder why he was even with you in the first place. You heard many stories about Cassie, seen many pictures. She was beautiful, brave, and outgoing. Donât get me wrong, so were you, but you didnât always see it.you sighed to yourself softly as you felt Hamish run his fingers through your hair.
âWhatcha thinking about love?â Hamish hummed noticing youâve been rather silent lately.
âNothing really.â You replied quietly refusing to look Hamish in the eye.
âNothing huh? You know, I can always tell when somethingâs bothering you...â you look up to meet his eyes, before smiling softly. You slowly reach up, lightly booping him on the nose.
âIâm fine.â
âAnd Iâm the queen of England.â You roll your eyes at his sarcastic remark.
âYa, you wish. Now stop worrying!â You say standing up. You felt slightly guilty for not being completely honest with Hamish, but if you told him the truth youâd only worry him further. âI have to go. Iâm gonna be late for class, but Iâll see you after, ya? Say 5:30, maybe a movie night?â You suggest moving towards the door, backpack now in hand.
âA movie night sounds perfect. Have fun in class!â
âI wonât!â You yell, chuckling softly to yourself before leaving to go to class. You always enjoyed the walk from your dorm to the main campus. It was always so peaceful. During the first week of classes back in September you had found a narrow path leading into the woods. Out of curiosity you followed it and it brought you straight to the main building in half the time. From there on out the tiny little trail was your official path to class. You followed the trail, looking up in the trees, watching as birds chirped and sang, only stopping when you heard the sound of distant footsteps. It wasnât too uncommon to find other people on the hidden path, however at this time of day (roughly 2:30) it was rather rare as most students were in classes or at work. Shrugging lightly you continued on your way paying little attention to the sound of footsteps coming closer to you. Watching the trail in front of you you notice several figures standing in front of you, all dressed in long dark blue robes, and wearing masks so haunting it gave you chills. Although the scene in front of you scared you to wits end, you really couldnât afford to be late to class. Plus it was university, weirder shit has happened. You stopped walking a few feet before the three figures, as they were blocking your path.
âExcuse me. I have to get by.â You muttered impatiently, before trying to barge through the wall of bodies. Just as you were centimetres away from the middle figure when a puff of white powder thrown by the far left figure clouded you senses.
âWhat the hell!â You yell between coughs. Suddenly you notice your eyes beginning to get heavier, and the world around you began to spin. You tried to take a step back to distance yourself from the figures, but in doing so the world went dark.
You woke up with a jolt, your mind instantly bringing you back to the previous events. Opening your eyes slowly, you came face to face with one of the figures from the woods. Panic began to flood your body. You tried to move, but you were stuck. Your arms and legs bound to the table underneath you.
âAh, your awake ms. Y/N. how nice of you to join us, and just in time for the incantation.â Although you couldnât see the figures face, you could tell by the voice that he was a man, most likely middle aged, and judging by the fact that he stood in front of you opposed to the thirty-something other figures in the room, you concluded he was the leader.
âThe what?â You squeak. Not really wanting to know what he was talking about.
âThe incantation, the ritual, whatever you want to call it. We just needed a sacrifice, and here you are. Donât worry though, your death wonât be in vain, youâll be helping every one of us here.â The man says gesturing around the audience watching the exchange. You look around panicking. This psychopath was going to try and sacrifice you. You were gonna die, scared and alone. This thought was something you just couldnât wrap your head around. Desperation leaked through your voice as you pleaded, trying your best to wiggle free from the restraints holding you down.
âPlease! You canât do this.... I. Let me go!â You cried.
âHush now darling. Everything will be alright. We should begin now.â The man announced to the later to the surrounding group. Huffing sadly in defeat you stopped fighting. There was no use, escaping was near impossible. You let your thoughts wander trying to think of anything other than the ritual going on around you. You thought of your childhood, your family, Hamish... it must be past 5:30. Maybe he was still waiting for you, maybe he realized something was wrong and went looking for you. This isnât some fantasy, this was reality, happy endings werenât to common. You just wished you had a chance to say goodbye, tell him you loved him one last time. The man stood above you, pulling out a long silver knife from the inside of his robe. You closed your eyes not baring to look at his terrifying mask anymore. You heard him say the incantation loud and powerfully. There was a short pause before the man raised the knife over his head with every intention of driving said knife through your stomach, but he could do so, the sound of a door slamming open echoed throughout the room.
âLet her go now!â A familiar voice boomed. You looked to see Hamish standing in the door way, eyes glowing a sliver blue. His teeth grew long and sharp, and his fingernails morphed into claws. Three wolfs appeared behind, daring someone to make a move.
âWell. If it isnât the knights of Saint Christopher, here to screw up yet another incantation. I take it sheâs yours?â The man said to Hamish motioning to you. Your eyes met Hamish and for a moment you could see relief flood his features. âIf you think Iâm just going to give up my sacrifice then you are sorrily mistaken.â
âThatâs funny... you think you have a choice. Hand her over or I swear to god Iâll rip every single one of you apart.â Hamishâs voice was filled with rage, so much so it even caused you to flinch. The Grand Master only laughter at Hamishâs attempt at intimidation. This definitely wasnât a laughing matter for your boyfriend. He smirk to himself before whisper softly to Timber who stood beside him. You watched as Lilithâs wolf lunged towards the nearest figure. You shut your eyes quickly as you knew what was coming. Screams filled the room as Lilith ripped the member apart. The smile on the Grand Masters face dropped instantly. He motioned quickly to the other members to do something, most of which just backed away, the image of their dead friend still fresh in their minds. Greyback and Silver-beard lunged shortly after causing the hooded figures to all scatter, the Grand Master giving up not too long after. As the room cleared out, Hamish ran towards you. He quickly ripped the restraints off, before pulling you into a tight hug. You sobbed lightly into the crook of his neck, still terrified.
âHey, itâs okay Y/N. I got you... God Iâm never letting you walk alone ever again.â You pulled away from the hug, and watched as Hamish reached up to wipe the tears from your eyes. You chuckled softly knowing that he really probably wouldnât let you walk alone ever again.
âCan we go home now?â You ask looking up at the boy in front of you. He nods quickly, before pulling up up off the table steadying you as you wobbled ever so slightly.
âYeah. Letâs go home... you promised me a movie night. Iâll be damned if we donât follow through.â He kissed the top of your head lightly, Before continuing to walk you out the door.
âHey Hamish!?â You both turn around as Randall called out, standing over a body. âWhat do you want us to do with all these dead people?â Hamish rolled his eyes and you laughed softly at Randallâs lack of filter.
âJust leave them. Now if youâll all excuse me I have a movie night to attend.â He announced grabbing your hand. The rest of night went by in a blur, filled with cuddles, laughter, cheesy movies, junk food, and kisses. Laying on the couch, your head resting on Hamishâs chest, for the first time in a long time you felt loved unconditionally. You knew deep down that you found your Prince Charming, your superhero, someone who would go to hell and back... just for you.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
I am so in love with Hamish Duke... like holy crap! Thank you guys sooo much for reading, and a special thank you to @crazyonesarethebest for the request.
If you have an idea for an imagine or fic (both character and ship) let me know! I will be happy to write for you.
Thanks again loves! đ
#hamish duke imagines#hamish duke imagine#hamish duke#randall carpio imagines#randall carpio imagine#randall carpio#jack morton imagines#jack morton imagine#jack morton#lilith bathory imagines#lilith bathory imagine#lilith bathory#alyssa duke#the knights of saint christopher imagines#the knights of saint christopher imagine#the knights of saint christopher#the order#theorder#netflix#imagines
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awkward
Summary:Â "Can you write an imagine where Peter Parker and the reader get stuck in an elevator right after an argument?" (REQUESTED BY @smilexcaptainx )
Warnings: None that I can think of?
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Word count: 2,122
A/N: Sorry that this took forever to post, I was going to do it during my winter break but I got an eye infection and I could no longer see what I was doing long enough to write it. But I finally got it done and so here it is! Hope you enjoy :)
   âI donât understand what your problem is (Y/N),â Peter said, making you scoff at him and roll your eyes. The two of you were currently walking home to your shared apartment complex. You had just found out last night that he was Spider-Man and this was the first time since then that the two of you were alone and you had gotten to ask him about it. âMy problem is, youâre out there every night risking your life, and for what? No one asked you to do this Peter!â You throw your hands in the air in frustration. You didnât want him to get hurt, thatâs all. âNo one had to ask me! Itâs called being kind, maybe you should try it out sometime!â Peter retorts back, and instant regret fills his face once the words settled in the air between you two. âWell, if Iâm so unkind and youâre such a saint, why do you keep me around?â You ask, tears of hurt and frustration well up in your eyes and you turn and begin speed walking, getting farther ahead than Peter. â(Y/N)! Wait! I didnât mean it like that!â Peter yelled after you, but you ignored him and kept on going. Peter sighed, knowing it was best not to run after you, giving you some space and time to cool down.Â
   You ran up to your apartment and into your room, glad your parents werenât home from work yet to pester you about your day. About why Peter wasnât over for your usual post-school homework session. You lay on your bed and let out a sob, wondering if Peter actually meant those words. You figured that he probably didnât really mean it, it was just a heat of the moment thing, but it still stung. Still, you kind of wanted to get back at him. The two of you had been friends since Peter got dropped off by his parents at his Aunt May and Uncle Benâs. You grew up just a couple apartment doors down from him and when Aunt May quit her job to stay with Peter, your parents offered to pay her to babysit you. Aunt May quickly agreed, welcoming the extra income and someone to distract Peter when she needed to do something like cook. The two of you had spent your entire childhood together and then when it came time for school, Aunt May was more than willing to drop you off and pick you up with Peter, then watch you until your parents got home from work. Youâd been through thick-and-thin together and you almost never really argued with each other, unless it was some silly debate about Star Wars. So Peterâs comment really did come as a shock to you, and part of you wanted to shock him back. You knew it might come off as a little petty, but you knew that in the end, youâd go back to being friends and have a good laugh about all this, so why not have a little fun with it on your end. You decided to give Peter the silent treatment for around a week, or however long it took for him to get the point. It was not going to be easy, seeing as you not only lived next to him, but you rode the same bus to and from school, we're in the same extra-curriculars and had study sessions every day after school. But, luckily you were starting a new job this week, so hopefully, youâd be spending most of your free time there, so it would be slightly easier to change your typical routine.Â
   The next day was going to be the first day of your evil plan. Peter, of course, had already tried messaging and calling you multiple times the night before, but you just silenced his number so that you got his messages, but they wouldnât bug you. You decided the best way to begin your avoiding was to catch a different bus to school. There happened to be a bus that took the same route as the one you usually took, but it left 30 minutes early. As you were hugging your parents good-bye, they gave you a confused look, âHoney, youâre 40 minutes early?â your mom questioned. âYeah, Iâm avoiding Peter to get back at him for saying that I wasnât niceâ you shrugged and walked out the door as you parents sighed and lightly chucked at how petty you were being. You managed to walk past Peterâs apartment without him catching you. Walking down to the bus stop, you got on the bus when it arrived and sat down next to a friendly looking mother holding her daughter. You start scrolling through your phone when you notice that you have more messages from Peter. You go through and read them. âWhere are you?â âAnswer your doorâ âWeâre gonna be late for school!â âIâm leaving, message me when you wake up.â. Luckily your parents had left for work before Peter came over to walk to the bus stop with you, so they didnât ruin your plan by telling him. When you got to the school, you decided to hide in the library so you didnât run into Peter until first period.Â
   You did have your first class with Peter, but it wouldnât be hard to avoid him. He knows you donât like to talk in class, so youâll just sit farther away from him but heâll know not to pass you notes because it would only piss you off more. You waited until the bell rang to enter the room, knowing Peterâs never been late to a class. Luckily there were two seats left open, your usual one next to Peter, and one right in the front, next to the door. Peterâs head quickly shot up at the sight of you, and he smiled and waved at you. You simply ignored him and sat in the seat near the door. You heard Ned lean over to Peter and say âDamn, dude, what did you do?â, making you smirk, knowing that your plan was working. When the bell rang, you quickly got up and started talking to the teacher, coming up with many questions about the term paper that you had assigned. You had already finished it, but you needed an excuse to not talk to Peter. He sort of awkwardly waited for you, but then realizing you wouldnât be done anytime soon, he left for his next class so he wouldnât be late. You smiled at your teacher and thanked her for the help, leaving for your next class.Â
   You were doing good so far at avoiding Peter, at least up until lunch. You didnât really know what you were going to do for lunch. You werenât allowed to eat in the library, otherwise, that would be your go-to. You decided to go to lunch like you normally would, and you would simply not sit at your normal table. After all, Peter wasnât your only friend. You went into the cafeteria and got your lunch, then walked over to the table that Flash was sitting at. You and Flash werenât best friends because he was an asshole to Peter, but you tolerated him because he was nice to you and he was on your academic-decathlon team. When you sat down, Flash gave you a confused look, but didnât say anything and continued his conversation with his other friends. You snuck a look over to where Peter, Ned, and MJ were sitting and they all had very confused and almost bewildered looks on their faces. You simply look down and eat in peace.Â
   Luckily, Peter had dropped out of band about a week ago, so you didnât have to try and avoid him there. However, your next challenge was the academic-decathlon meeting. You decided to pretend to be sick. Walking into the meeting room, Peter got excited to see you, but his face fell a little when you instantly walked over to the teacher instead of coming to him to explain your behavior. âIâm really sorry to do this, but I think I going to have to skip practice today. I just got done vomiting, and I feel like itâs going to be an on and off type of thing.â You say rubbing your âupsetâ stomach. The teacher just nodded and told you to get better, sending you home. You walk out, not looking back at Peter. You quickly got out of school and took the bus home. Since you had some time before you had to leave for work, you sat down and did some homework. You were startled out of your concentration when there was a banging on the front door. You walk over to the door and look through the peephole, it was Peter. You sigh, luckily the door was already locked, so you could leave out the window without worrying about someone breaking in. You quickly grabbed your bag and hopped out the window onto the fire escape, while Peter continued to bang on your door, â(Y/N), I know youâre in there! I know you went home sick, come talk to me please!â. You could hear the hurt in his voice, and you almost caved, but you really did need to get to work.Â
   You made your way down the fire escape and to the nearest train station. You recently got a job being none other than Pepper Potts aka, the CEO of Stark Industries, assistant. The building was so far away from the apartments, you knew there was no chance of you running into Peter at least until you got home. Your first day actually went really amazing! Pepper was super nice to you and kept telling you how excited she was to start working with you. When the day was done, Pepper showed you to the elevator to take you downstairs. When the doors open, you were met with none other than Peter Parker. âThanks again, (Y/N), Iâll see you tomorrowâ Pepper smiled, you returned it and got into the elevator with Peter, not saying anything even after the doors closed. It was sort of awkward because neither of you knew what the other was doing in Stark Tower, and neither of you wanted to break the silence. Peter finally sighed and slammed his hand on the stop button, causing the elevator to turn off. âWhat the hell is going on (Y/N)? Why have you been avoiding me all day and all last night?â Peter asked turning himself to face you, crossing his arms. You sighed, âI was trying to get back at you for hurting my feelings, by giving you the silent treatment.â you admit. Peter looked offended, âAnd just how long were you planning on ignoring me?â. You shrugged, âAs long as it took for the message to sink inâ. Peter rolled his eyes at you, knowing how stubborn you could be. âYouâre such a child sometimesâ Peter teased you. You knew he didnât mean it in a bad way because of his tone, so you didnât get offended. âAt least I donât insult my best friend.â You retorted with some sass. âLook, I really am sorry about what I said, I just was getting so frustrated⌠and I donât know, I meant for it to come out a lot more sarcastic then it did I guess.â You nodded, knowing that he was being sincere. âWell, Iâm not sorry that I ignored you all day. Iâm actually pretty good at the silent treatment as Iâve come to discover.â You smirked at him, âBut I do accept your apology.â You smile, opening up your arms for a hug, which he gladly accepted.
   After you both left the building you took the train back home together, and thatâs when you finally asked him the question that had been bugging you for the past half-hour. âWhat were you doing at Stark Tower?â. âOh, Tonyâs sort-of took Spider-Man under his wing,â Peter said, blushing a little as you congratulate him. âWhat were you doing there?â Peter asked you. âI got a job working as Pepperâs assistant!â You say excitedly to him. âHow come you didnât tell me? Thatâs awesome!â Peter says. âHow come you didnât tell me about Spider-Man?â You retort, âI donât have to tell you everything Peter.â You smirk at him, knowing that you had made a good point that he couldnât necessarily argue. âHow about, from now on, we are completely honest with each other?â Peter offers, holding out his hand to shake on it. âDeal,â You say, taking his hand.Â
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#peter parker#tom holland#peter parker spiderman#Peter Benjamin Parker#peter parker fic#spiderman#pepper potts#tony stark#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker fluff#peter parker writing#peter parker request#peter parker tom holland#peter parker imagine#peter parker is a dork#peter parker oneshot#peter parker protection squad#peter parker au#peter parker ship#peter parker sad#peter parker drabble#peter parker deserved better#peter parker fandom#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#peter parker blurb#peter parker needs a hug#peter parker mcu#peter parker marvel
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In Her Eyes
Pairing: Harry Potter x Pansy Parkinson Words: 3,247 You can also read this on AO3. This is for the anon who requested I write about my children awhile ago! I have missed writing about them, so it was almost nostalgic for me. I hope you all enjoy it. x
If Harry saw another article in the Daily Prophet from Rita Skeeter talking about his new lack-of a sex life, he was going to scream. The lack of sex wasn't even what mattered, it was the fact that Ginny no longer wanted to be with him.
He wallowed in his own self-pity for weeks in various pubs across Britain; it was easy to escape when you could just apparate anywhere in the country. He understood Ginny's reasoning; she needed time to herself. He was all she had really ever known in a mature relationship. She loved him, but that wasn't enough. Sometimes people had to find their own way, and Harry respected that. Especially after everything they had lost in the years past.
So as he took another shot of Firewhiskey in the Hog's Head, he eavesdropped on other people's conversations to ignore his own internal dialogue. There was a girl sitting across the bar. She never looked in his direction, and Harry did not mind that at all. It was new for him. She kept downing shots and raising her hand for more. Aberforth gave her more with no objections. Harry watched as Zacharias Smith and another wizard he was unfamiliar with approached the girl as they waked into the pub. Her bleach blonde ponytail whipped around as she turned to look at them directly.
"So where's your lover boy?" Zacharias taunted, "I figured he would be here."
"Not now, Smith," the blonde replied, "I would prefer to drink without hearing your voice."
"And why is that?" The wizard Harry didn't know ask, "Because he finally dumped your ass for some new fine ass?"
The blonde stood up from her seat to defend herself, but she didn't draw her wand. Harry was not sure what came over him, or why he suddenly felt the need to defend this stranger, but he made his way over to them. Without looking the girl in the eye, he kissed her cheek and wrapped his arm around her waist. He half expected her to push him off, but she didn't. It was probably because of what he said next.
"Hey babe," Harry said casually, "Sorry it took me so long. I got you another shot."
He offered his full shot glass to the girl, and she tentatively took it. She still avoided Harry's eyes, but Harry watched as her red lips touched the rim of the glass.
Zacharias Smith started laughing. That's all Harry could focus on. He felt his eyes turn into slits. Harry had never liked Smith, and this was just adding to his reasons not to. He knew what it felt like to be taunted like this poor girl and-
But his thought process was interrupted once Smith finally decided to speak.
"Harry Potter is dating Pansy Parkinson? I cannot believe this shit!"
Harry was about to pull away from the blonde in surprise to look at her, but she kept him pinned to her side.
She turned her head to finally look him in the eye, and he recognized her now instantly. He would remember those blue green eyes anywhere. They were the same eyes that stared him down in the Great Hall for years. They were the ones that tried to turn him over to Voldemort with no remorse. Chills ran up Harry's spine. She had just dyed her hair. He could not believe this.
Harry wanted to take it back and protest, but Pansy spoke before he could.
"There's a thing called forgiveness, Smith," Pansy replied smoothly, "Maybe you should try it out sometime."
Harry watched as the stranger rolled his eyes and Smith huffed.
"Whatever," Zacharias retorted, "But I cannot wait to see the articles Rita Skeeter comes up with about this. They have been following your sex life for weeks, Potter."
Harry knew he should have replied, but he didn't know what to say. So he kept quiet, and he just glared at Zacharias quietly.
Pansy moved her hand down his arm and grabbed his hand. Harry had the urge to push her away, but he needed to keep up their ruse. He may have hated Pansy Parkinson, but he himself did not want to look like an idiot in front of Zacharias Smith of all people.
"Let's go, hun," Pansy said, "We don't need to deal with these assholes."
Harry nodded in fake agreement, and he followed her out of the pub. He could hear Zacharias laughing as they walked away, and he could feel Aberforth Dumbledore's eyes trailing after them.
Once they made it outside, Harry dropped Pansy's hand and backed away from her.
"Oh, what is it, Potter? You don't want to date me now?" Pansy asked. She had a devilish grin spread across her face as she went into her bag and grabbed a Muggle cigarette to light it up.
As she took a puff, Harry glared at her. He hadn't stopped glaring ever since he saw Zacharias Smith.
"I-I thought you were someone else," Harry told her, "I definitely wouldn't have done that if I knew it was you-"
Pansy rolled her eyes and started walking down Hogsmeade. It was after midnight and the streets were dead. Harry decided to follow her.
"Saint Potter," Pansy drawled before she took another puff of her cigarette, "Who would have thought you were my savior? Just so you know, I could have defended myself. People have been mocking me about Malfoy for weeks. Just because he cheated on me with that whore Astoria Greengrass. I'm a strong and independent woman, and I definitely don't need the Chosen One acting all high and mighty in my honor."
"Then why did you keep up the ruse?" Harry challenged her, "You could have said I was full of shit and got a good laugh with Smith and his lackey."
Pansy stopped in the middle of the street and turned to look at him. She was about his height, Harry realized, and smoke was billowing in the air between them. She dropped her cigarette to the ground and put it out with her boot.
"Because I think we can help each other."
Harry perked up his brow and didn't say anything, he let her continue.
"I see the shit Skeeter has been writing in the Daily Prophet about your break-up with Weasley. I get what it is like to have someone over-analyze your lack-of sex life. For once, I finally understand what is bad about being in the spotlight. So why don't we fool them all? Let's keep up this ruse, give Skeeter a run for her money, and come back later with an article of our own saying we fooled them all. It can be a wonderful story about how a Slytherin and Gryffindor become partners in crime to take down evil. Wouldn't that be beautiful?"
Harry could hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice.
"As appealing as that sounds, I will have to pass," Harry told her, "Working in close proximity with you is enough to make me sick."
"You kissed my cheek just fine," Pansy commented, "And I saw the way your pupils dilated when you looked into my eyes, Potter. I'm not stupid."
Harry felt himself blush.
"I-I am not attracted to you," Harry replied defensively, "And I don't like to lie to people."
Pansy ignored the last part of his statement, "I never said it meant you were attracted to me. There are many reasons pupils dilate. I was more hinting at the fact that you could even look me in the eye. You haven't for years, not since you-"
She stopped talking, and Harry knew why. She was thinking of the same thing; the night he took down Voldemort. Harry swallowed.
"If I take you up on this offer," Harry explained, "I don't want it to last for long. Two weeks, tops."
"It needs to be at least a month to make it convincing," Pansy argued, "You are definitely not the type for flings, and the public knows that."
"Why would you-"
"Ginny Weasley is obviously the only person you have slept with."
"That's not-" Harry tried to stammer, but Pansy gave him a deadpan stare.
"Draco might have been my one true love, but we had many break-ups. I have definitely slept with my fair share of men and women."
Harry was intrigued by her women comment, but he let it slide.
"So what do you say, Potter?" She asked him one last time, "Are you in?"
Harry knew he was crazy to do this, but if it meant getting Rita Skeeter off his back, how could he resist? He had nothing else better to do anyway.
"I'm in."
Harry was woken up the next morning by someone banging on his door. They did not stop after one knock either, they kept doing it until he yelled that he was getting up. It was the worst way Harry could have started his day.
As Harry rolled out of bed, he mumbled to himself angrily as he stubbed his toe on the way to his door. When he opened it, Pansy Parkinson was standing there.
Her newly dyed blonde hair was up in a bun, and she was wearing a black low-cut summer dress. Harry tried to look anywhere but her chest. She didn't ask politely to come in, she just pushed past him and Harry rolled his eyes. He quickly looked outside his front door to see if anyone had seen them, but it looked like no one had. He shut the door and turned around to see Pansy sitting on his couch.
"Good morning to you, too," Harry greeted her sarcastically, "This couldn't wait until the afternoon?"
"It's noon, Potter," Pansy told him, "I tried sending you multiple owls. When you didn't respond, I took matters into my own hands."
Harry looked over at the window sill above his kitchen sink. There were multiple letters piled there waiting for his reply. They all displayed an elegant scrawl. She hadn't been lying.
"What do you want? Can't I at least get a day to think our whole agenda over?" He asked her.
She pulled the Prophet out of her bag and held it out to him. He grabbed it from her and opened it to the front page.
It was a picture of Pansy and Harry holding hands as they walked out of the Hog's Head with the caption, "The Boy Who Lived with the Girl Who Wanted Him Dead?"
Harry rolled his eyes and handed it back to her, "They could have come up with a more creative title at least-"
"That's what I said."
Harry snorted and Pansy laughed. After they finished, it was awkward to realize they had agreed on something for the first time in their lives and even had a similar sense of humor. Harry tried to ignore it.
"So what now?" Harry asked her, "I'm not necessarily the strategic type that takes advantage of situations-"
"That's obvious. Granger was always the brains behind everything."
Harry scowled, "I also contributed-"
"-with brute force."
Harry didn't reply to that, he just stared her down. The intensity of her look made him uncomfortable, but she didn't look away. She was clearly studying him, and Harry hated being a case study. He had been one his whole life.
"I figured we could plan out our public appearances," Pansy finally started, "Let's go out tonight. I made us a reservation."
"Already?" He asked her, "How did you already-"
"Some people get up before noon, Potter. Grown adults, that is."
Harry glared at her again, but she ignored him.
"Just be ready at six tonight. I'll meet you here. Dress nice. I'll give you more of the plan later as I think of it. You clearly aren't someone to brainstorm with."
Harry was about to protest, but she stood up and apparated out of his living room on the spot.
What had he gotten himself into?
It was 5:55 pm and Harry was a nervous wreck. He wasn't sure why he was nervous. This wasn't a real date. He convinced himself it was because it was going to be all over the news again in the morning. But Harry was used to being on the front page, it was nothing new.
Harry put on his suit jacket as he heard the light knock on his door. He took a deep breath as he went to open it.
Pansy Parkinson was in front of him wearing a tight red velvet dress. She was wearing the same lipstick from the night before, and her blonde hair was down in long waves. Harry had never seen her with long hair before. She had always had it cut short during their days at Hogwarts. He must of have been staring at her for too long, because she pushed past him into his flat and said, "Close your mouth, Potter. You're drooling."
Shaken up, he touched his fingers to his lips to see if she was being serious. Of course she hadn't been.
As he turned around, she was staring at him again.
"You clean up well," she commented, "I'm surprised."
"You do too," Harry blurted, "I mean- for a bitch."
Pansy snorted, "How original of you."
He felt his neck heat up and awkwardly crossed his arms, "So are we going to go now or not?"
"Yes," she told him, "But you're clearly a mess and horrible at this kind of thing, so just follow my lead, alright? I have no idea how you saved my ass last night on the fly at the bar-"
"So you admit I saved your ass?"
She rolled her eyes as she linked her arm through his, "I'm not admitting anything, Potter."
As she led him out of his flat to apparate to the restaurant, Harry grinned.
Once they made it to the restaurant, Harry could hear their whispers. It was apparent that the whole wizarding world now knew about his relationship with Pansy Parkinson. He grinned to himself as he imagined their shock when they came out with the truth.
Pansy laced her fingers through his as they approached the hostess.
"Reservation for Parkinson," Pansy told the girl. The girl looked at Harry like she was starstruck, so Pansy snapped in her face.
"Yes, I know my boyfriend is beautiful and has the most distracting eyes in the world," Pansy commented, "But we'd like our table."
The girl glared at Pansy as she grabbed their menus. Then she smiled at Harry and said, "Right this way."
Pansy chose a table in the back that was still visible to everyone else in the restaurant. They would just be unable to hear their conversation. She was smart. It would leave people wondering. Harry thanked the hostess as they sat down, and he watched as Pansy crossed her legs.
"You'd think you have never seen a girl before, Potter," Pansy teased as she looked down at her menu, "You can't keep your eyes off me."
Stumbling on his words, Harry replied, "I-I'm just playing my part well."
He watched Pansy's lips turn into a grin as she continued to look down at the menu, but she didn't say anything.
After the waiter came and took their order, Pansy whispered to Harry, "Take my hand."
"What?" He asked her.
She rolled her eye and did it herself. She grabbed his hand so it was on top of the table for everyone to see.
"Now talk to me about something, anything," she directed him, "But use hushed tones, it needs to look sensual."
Pansy leaned forward in her seat so their heads were closer together. Harry gulped as he got a closer look into her eyes.
"Why did you dye your hair?" He decided to ask.
"Why do you think?" She asked him, "So people might not recognize me when I go out. The Draco scandal was just-"
"Overwhelming?"
Pansy nodded, "But I'm over it now. It has been a few weeks."
"I get it," Harry told her, "When Ginny just up and left-"
"Why did she leave?"
Harry wasn't sure why he was telling Pansy Parkinson these things, but he realized he needed to talk about it, so he continued, "She needed to experience more of the world. All she had ever known from a serious relationship was me. I mean, she dated other guys before but-"
"I was that girl to Draco a few years ago," Pansy admitted, "That's what I think made him cheat on me with Greengrass."
"Astoria always seemed decent-"
"She's a slut."
Harry didn't say anything more, but looked down at their interlocked hands. Her nails were painted red like her dress and lips. He wasn't sure what else to say, so he just took a sip of his wine. He felt Pansy's eyes on him.
"What is it?" He asked her, "Why are you always staring?"
"I'm trying to figure you out," she told him, "You perplex me."
"How so?"
"I thought I always had you figured out in school, but now-"
"Now what?"
She hesitated, but she was about to respond as the waiter came up with their food. She let go of Harry's hand, and suddenly, he missed her touch. But he tried to bury that thought down, too.
Their dinner date went as planned, and they walked down Diagon Alley hand in hand as the sun went down. They didn't say anything for awhile, but they heard the whispers of other wizards around them. Their plan was going to work, Harry could see that now.
Once they turned the corner and were alone, Harry finally decided to ask Pansy, "Did you really mean what you said to the hostess? That I'm beautiful and have the most distracting eyes in the world?"
He was teasing her, and he hoped she caught that in his tone. He watched her roll her eyes, but she didn't look at him.
"There is always some truth to lies," she responded vaguely, "I had to keep our ruse up."
Harry wasn't one hundred percent sure what she meant, but he just nodded. They walked in silence again until they reached his flat. When they reached his front door, she turned her body so she was facing him. She was so tall that they were eye-level again, and all Harry could think about was how her eyes made him think of the sea by Bill and Fleur's home. How had he not noticed all these things about her before?
"Goodnight Potter," she told him, "I'll see you tomorrow. Or I can give you the day off?"
He realized she was asking him if he wanted to see her again so soon. He realized he did. He smiled at her but looked down at the ground. He wasn't ready for that kind of vulnerability just yet. "Yeah," he replied, "I'll see you tomorrow."
He glanced back up and watched as she hesitated, but she slowly leaned forward and kissed his cheek, just like he had done to her the night before. Her cheeks were rosy once she pulled away from him, and when she stepped back to apparate home, he swore he saw a faint smile spread across her face.
Maybe this ruse wouldn't be so hard to keep up after-all. Maybe Pansy was right about what she said to Smith the night before; he should try forgiveness out sometime, especially when it involved Pansy Parkinson.
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