#After Youve gone
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After You’ve Gone
You x Evelyn Porter (Amazing Stories ‘The Cellar’ - Victoria Pedretti)
Fix it with a happy and more Gay ending! Victoria Pedretti the cellar amazing stories continue in the future let her be gay!
Summary: We pick up in the future with Evelyn
TW: Smut
Here is the title song: After You’ve Gone By Victoria Pedretti
I Linked some clips including the song from The Cellar
Also, there are a lot of good edits so here is a playlist of edits for Sam & Evelyn
In case you have never heard Victoria Pedretti sing here let me bless you with the other song we have from her College years: Crazy Mashup
AN: I randomly remembered this character and thought let's write her up a cute gay ending!
She is the cutest ray of sunshine! I can't handle her smile!
Word Count: 2,356
Imagine This:
Evelyn Porter of 1919 was a beautiful woman who just wanted to be free. She wanted more than anything to sing and enjoy the parts of life that a woman of her time was not allotted.
Sam Taylor of 2019 was a beautiful man with a kind heart but a struggling mind. He felt he didn’t belong in the digital world. He liked working with his hands and making real connections.
One faithful day led to Sam traveling back in time and that is where he fell madly in love with Evelyn. Their love affair was short-lived although happy in totality it was also so very tragic.
>>>>
You
You knew the man that your son was named after. You knew that because of him you had Evelyn. You knew because of his brother you had the gorgeous old house fully restored and beautiful. The events of the years 1919 & 2019 that led to Sam traveling back in time and sending Evelyn to the future were a part of the bedtime stories you told your little Sam.
You met Evelyn shortly after she came to be in 2019. You knew Sam and his brother Jake through Jakes's husband who was your best friend. So when Evelyn came to the future with nothing and no one you quickly became friends. You wouldn’t believe their story if you didn’t see the letters Sam wrote from the past and hid in the wall for yourself. The letter he wrote to her and the way she described him was heartbreaking. You vowed to try your best to help Evelyn in any way you could. You helped her learn anything and everything. She stayed with you while the house was being remodeled and you became inseparable. And you were roommates.
Roommates turned into something more complicated after only a short time. Feelings developed. You thought she was pretty the moment you met her but her soul and energy just made you fall madly in love with her more each day. Her smile is better than sunshine. Her blue eyes lit up when she smiled and gawd you could get lost in them forever. Unfortunately, you thought there was no chance. She has adapted well to the future but sexuality is a big one. She was going to be married off without a choice in the matter before Sam rescued her. You didn’t want to ever impose on her freedom. So you kept your feelings to yourself. You even helped her make other friends and date. You were shocked but not really surprised when she learned you dated other women exclusively. She was amazed by the concept not put off like you thought she’d be. She really wasn’t made for 1919 she had always belonged here in the future.
She decided on her own to go out with some girls and guys and got to experience going to clubs, doing karaoke, and enjoying all that this world had to offer. Dancing and kissing strangers was something you had enjoyed before her and she seemed to like it, except she was searching for more. Something like what she had with Sam. You both just had fun together for a while.
Everything changed the day the house remodel was completed. She was set to move out of your place and move into the house alone. She didn’t want that and neither did you. You were lying on the floor exhausted from packing, moving, and unpacking.
“This place seems so much bigger.”
“Well, it technically is a little bit.”
“I guess.” She whispered.
You turned onto your side to face her “What’s wrong?”
She turned to face you with a sad smile “I just…”
Her voice trailed off as her gaze lowered to glance at your lips. You couldn’t help the automatic reaction to lick them under her intense stare. Her lips parted and she licked her bottom lip and sucked on it. Before you could ask her again what was wrong. Her lips crashed against yours.
You melted into her kiss, her lips slotted between yours perfectly. Her breath hitched and she hummed against your lips. It was more intense than you had imagined it could be. She pulled you closer by the back of your neck. She pulled until you were lying on top of her. Lips still in a dance tongues quickly joining. Her hands moved down your back. She moved her hands bunching up the t-shirt you were wearing. Her fingernails scratched lightly at your back under the shirt as she pulled your shirt trying to get it off of you. A shiver ran through you and made you pull away from her lips to sit up. Your gaze traveled from her panting expanding ribs to her kiss-swollen lips red from where you had been sucking on them, to her intense blue eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. No one else makes me feel like you do.”
You smiled softly “Evelyn. I. Gawd I’m so in love with you.”
Her smile widened and she sat up “I’m in love with you too, y/n.”
She didn’t let you say anything else she captured your lips yet again and her hands traveled down to the hem of your shirt quickly pulling it off. You took your time unbuttoning her shirt. You trailed your kisses down her neck and followed each button. Kissing down the center of her body. Her nails dug into your shoulders sending an electric thrill up your spine. You moved back up as you pulled the shirt off of her kissing each of her shoulders. You quickly moved to the straps of her bra and pulled them down. You lean in, press your lips to her chest and slide your hands around to unhook it. Her breasts are so perky and her nipples are so hard. You glance up and watch her as you cup her breasts and run your thumb over her nipples. Her neck is exposed to you as she throws her head back with a moan. “Ah!”
The sound sends a shiver up your spine and you can’t help but want more. You kiss her breasts and lightly suck on a nipple as you pinch the other one. Your gaze is glued to the tension in her neck as she moans. You suck harder and lightly bite her hard nipple “AAAAAHHHH!”
She looks down at you pupils wide only leaving thin rings of blue. Her lips are parted as she breathes out hot and heavy. You switch breasts but suck and bite hard instantly this time. She arches into you. Your free hand grabs her hip to keep her steady and close.
“More, please.”
“Tell me what you want.”
“I need you everywhere.”
You pulled away from her quickly removing your own bra. You moved your hands to your pants and got up to quickly remove the rest of your clothes. You don't waste a second kneeling back down, helping her escape the rest of her clothes.
Eventually she is laid bare in front of you on top of the pile of clothes and you soak in every detail that you can. You map scars and freckles and curves. Her hips call to you begging for your kiss and you can't resist. You kneel between her legs and lean down pressing kisses to the dips in her hips. Under the soft subtle curve of her belly. Down soft curls. Off to the right side of her inner thigh and then over to the left.
Her hips rock and seek friction. Her legs tremble around your head as you press your lips where she needs them most. Your lips wrap around her sensitive clit and suck lightly as you hum in appreciation to the feel and taste of her. She moans and tangles her long fingers in your hair. She tugs as your tongue flattens against her. Your gaze travels up her body and you catch her gaze intense and focused on you. You reach a hand up and cup a breast squeezing. One of her hands fly to cover yours, lacing her fingers with yours as you both squeeze her breast. You moved your other hand under you. You feel her suck your finger in as you lightly press it to her center and it makes you moan to know she's so ready for you. Your own walls flutter and you can feel how wet you are on your thighs.
“Fuck Evelyn! You feel so good. You taste so good. You have me dripping down my thighs.”
“Fuck y/n! Ah! More.”
You easily slip another finger into her and the sound of her slick heat has you floating. You curl your fingers in a rhythm that you match with the squeeze of her breast and suction of her clit.
Her muscles tighten. Her body squirms and hips rock. The fingers that are tangled in your hair tug and the hand on top of your own squeezes harder. “There! Oh there! Please don't sto-AH! Fuck! Yes yes yes!”
You feel her walls tighten and contract and taste her sweet release moaning into her as your body trembles against hers. “Good so good.”
“Fuh oh ah sensitive!”
You pull out slowly and flatten your tongue as you try to gently get as much of your prize as possible. She tastes so good you have to resist diving your tongue deep into her.
She pulls you down and kisses you devouring your lips in a sloppy kiss. Her fingers trail between you and she slips two fingers into you with ease. You are already on the edge just from making her cum. You moan against her shoulder and she lightly bites yours. She curls her fingers and presses her palm against your clit; you drip into her hand and buck your hips. You feel the coil in your core as she bites and sucks on your shoulder and moves her fingers faster.
“You like that?”
“Yes oh gawd yes!”
“Are you going to cum for me? Say my name when you cum.”
“Ah fuck Evelyn oh my YES! Evelyn!”
“Yes yes oh fuck cum for me.”
Your body trembles and compulses and your walls tighten so hard around her fingers that she can't move. She presses her fingers to the sensitive spot inside you in a come hither motions and it has you soaking her hand. You ride out your orgasm until you collapse against her. She slowly removes her fingers and holds you tightly to her.
“That was-”
“Everything.”
“Yeah,x you take a steadying breath “Everything. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
>>>>
Time passed as it inevitably does. Your love for each other bloomed and blossomed into more than either of you could have ever imagined. You moved into the house with her the day after you made love for the first time.
You helped her get a YouTube channel started for her singing and she was discovered instantly. She is a world famous singer. Known for her sultry vocals and expressive lyrics. She proposed to you and you had a small but absolutely stunning wedding. Soon after you decided to adopt a child and gawd you never imagined your life would lead you here. Watching from the rocking chair as Evelyn, your wife sang sweetly to your 5 year old son.
She smiles scrunching her nose as she leans down to kiss his cheek. She whispers so softly and sweetly. “Goodnight Sam, happy birthday.”
He yawns adorably and you both softly laugh as he snuggles into his pillow and rubs his little face. She continues singing softly.
You put the book you were reading away and that's when you all hear it. The clatter of a wooden toy car falling down the stairs. You and Evelyn glance at each other and little Sam wiggles. “Mommy someone there?”
She glanced at the doorway and then back down at him “No baby. It's okay.”
You got up and walked to the stairs running down the steps. “Sam? Thank you for saving her.”
You don't know if he heard you but you hope he did. You glance back up the stairs and see Evelyn looking down tears stream down her delicate face.
“Oh baby.”
You rush up the steps and wrap her in your arms holding her as she cries. “Sorry.”
“No. It's okay. Come on, let's go to bed.”
“We have to clean up the party stuff.”
“It can wait, come on.”
You pull her into your bedroom and help her out of her dress and bra. You grab her favorite big t-shirt, one of your old college ones and gently pull it over her head. You change yourself and help her wash her face. You quickly do your own routine and get you both settled into bed.
You hold her tightly and ghost your lips over her cheeks. “It's okay to feel sad, to miss him.”
“I just, I knew this was coming, he said he told me, about it when he was convincing me to leave him behind. I just didn't expect it to make me feel like this. I love my life with you with our son but I just wish he knew. He saved me in multiple ways, he made me feel things I never had and he believed in me.”
“I know. If it's any comfort I miss him too, he was such a good friend to me. He was always so caring. I wish I could tell him how he also saved me. I was feeling a lot like he was. Lost, overwhelmed by the modern world and feeling lonely. I was starting to think that real connection just didn't happen anymore. Then you strolled in and saw the world full of wonder and excitement for all the possibilities your new found freedom offered. It, you, changed everything.”
“He really was something else. Something special.”
“He really was.”
She snuggles deeper into your neck and you run your fingers through her short brown hair. She sighs and her body relaxes against you. “I love you, y/n.”
“And I love you, Evelyn.”
A/N: I might write more little snapshots of their life. Let me know if you would like to see more.
#victoria pedretti#Amazing Stories The Cellar#Evelyn Porter#You x Evelyn Porter#After Youve gone#Victoria Pedretti singing!#OMFG her VOICE!#WLW#lesbian love story#lesbian#wlw
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Holy shit ty guys for 1k followers!!! No idea what you're all doing here but that's amazing!!!
I'd love to take art requests or something to celebrate, but I'm currently swamped with a lot of work on top of having like 27 reqs already sitting in my inbox. So take this other slabtek doodle, and maybe I'll be able to do something more in a few months ^_^
#nics art#hermitshipping#tangotek#ethoslab#tangotek fanart#ethoslab fanart#hermitcraft#you guys have no idea how much it means to me that people like my goofy art slldjfjfjg#if youve ever dropped a comment or smth in the tags of any of my art posts know that theres a very good chance that ive gone back just to#look at it before#the deranged all caps keysmash comments fuel me#<3 luv yall#tangtho#slabtek#AFTER ALL THAT I FUCKING FORGET TO TAG TJEM LMAO
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noah kahan really said growing up in a small, bitter hometown is about the rage and the hatred that's been sung about many times before but it's also about love and devotion and the 'all three of us were drowning and we didn't know how to save each other but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together' of it all and knowing people so intimately yet not being able to help anyone and he's morally grey at best in a lot of his songs and objectively the bad guy in others and that's just how it is and it's about substance abuse and normalised crime and teen suicide and country roads and failed exams and leaving and being left and love and hate and love and hate and love and
#anyway. listening to orange juice again. like it's my fault#girls when growing sideways and view between villages and northern attitude and homesick and stick season come on#like new england must actually be called that for a reason bc you cant convince me this guy isnt actually secretly singing about england#like even when he sings about the WEATHER im like !!! this guy gets it fr!!!#IM TIRED OF DIRT ROADS NAMED AFTER HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND'S GRANDFATHERS AND MOTHERFUCKERS HERE DONT KNOW#THEY CAUGHT THE BOSTON BOMBERS TIME MOVES SO DAMN SLOW I SWEAR I FEEL MY ORGANS FAILING I STOPPED CARING ABOUT A MONTH AGO#SINCE IT'S BEEN SMOOTH SAILING I WOULD LEAVE IF ONLY I COULD FIND A REASON IM MEAN BECAUSE I GREW UP IN NEW ENGLAND!!!#or the entirety of growing sideways. divvied up my anger into 30 seperate parts keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart#r u even listening. what the hell#HONEY COME OVEERRRRRR THE PARTY'S GONE SLOWERRR AND NO ONE WILL TEMPT YOU WE KNOW YOUVE GONE SOBER <- sobbing#noah kahan#stick season
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Found you 🦋
#did you miss me?#yugioh#ygo#duel monsters#yugioh duel monsters#atem#yami yugi#magic shenanigans but i like the idea of atem walking around in afterlife with eternal peace#and then seto finds him#:3#this would be several years after dsod ofc#atem smiling exasperatedly like#youve found me. what now?#and kaiba doesnt fucking know#hes self assured now and knows that his value isnt inherently tied to winning duel monsters#but hes worked so hard and chased atem for so long#he doesnt know what he wants#kaiba doesnt answer but they both know the answer to that question#white butterfly because its kaibas colour and also because its a sign of spiritual ... something#yami smiling and happy that kaiba gone thru so much just to see him again#not realising that he misses them all more than he initially thought#bit morbid but he cant wait to see them again#hephart
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I think once you've watched crown of candy something just irreversibly changes in your brain. There's no going back you just have to be insane about that whole universe forever sorry
#and after ravening war????????? there's no hope youre too far gone#god im so insane about the whole goddamn world and setting and everything WHY does it continually produce such UTTERLY TRAGIC CHARACTERS#its literally just haha food world heeheehoo but no actually its the most instense and rich setting youve ever FUCKING seen in your life#there is nothing like it and i will never recover from it#if i cpuld choose one d20 setting to have a full podcast style campaign ala crit role/naddpod/jrwi it would be calorum every time#d20#dimension 20#dimension twenty#calorum#dimension 20 acoc#acoc#a crown of candy#d20 acoc#the ravening war#ravening war#ravwar#d20 the ravening war#d20 ravening war#d20 ravwar
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guess who's gna hv to go to the hospital tmr and probably hv the infected wound surgically removed
#ITS ME ☝️☝️☝️☝️💥💥💥#skipping sch is so fun yall infection be damned#okay tiny rant after this yall hv been warned#THIS GIRL VERY FUNNY AH#bro ur concern means absolute jack SHIT to me if all youre gna do is be a bitch about it#yeah okay i admit i have zero clue how to treat wounds esp infected ones n i didnt even know the infection was this severe until someone#until my friends told me today#LIKE YEAH I ADMIT ID BE THE TYPE OF PERSON FIRST TO DIE IN A HORROR MOVIE#but like that doesnt give you the excuse to keep calling me dumbass/idiot/stupid#and all the other synonyms of dumb youve been calling me today????#like girl YOURE the certified first aider not me???#and like the qualifications doesnt even give u the right to call me dumb like what the hell#like ik shes concerned for me bec she was the one helping me treat my wound today b4 i saw a doctor#but like she kept making it sound like im a 5yo w absolutely zero sense of safety and shit#and like she kept making it sound like i was FORCING her to help me#NO I WASNT ??#YOU OFFERED?? THEN YOU STARTED BEING AN ASS ABOUT IT???#then like she kept. calling me stupid. like even after the joke got old#bec at first it was her and my other friends teasing me about it and it was funny at first but then she kept going on n on even after that??#then she forced me to see a doctor which i admit was smart i shldve gone to a doctor like. yesterday ��😭#but then when we were at the clinic she deadass said smth along the lines of “i hv to work and worry sm bec of YOU today”#as if i forced her to accompany me to the doctor??? but it was HER idea ????#also she deadass called the nurse who dressed my wound unprofessional#and she called the doctor i saw on saturday useless bec the antibiotics he prescribed me last week werent working#like. bro if ur so smart then why dont YOU go med sch rn and become a doctor huh#bro ur goofy ahh 1y/o first aid cert aint shit compared to the guy who spent 12+ years studying med n working for even more years than that#like i cannot get over the fact she kept calling me dumbass the entire day#and it was so aggressively too and she threatened to slap me bec i was “being stupid”#and like she kept making my infection out to be so severe as if i wld drop dead right that second or my arm wld fall off or some shit#AAAAAAAAA THIS GOT SO LONG I HIT 30 TAGS WHOOPS HAVE A MWAMWA IF U READ THIS LONG IM SORRY IM JS PISSED BUT I TRIED NOT TO SWEAR 😭😭🙏🙏
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I plan on doing another version with a more detailed background in the future, maybe I'll draw a few more of the animatronics and do either one big piece or a set of 4 based on the sketches I posted yesterday. Either way, I'm really happy with how this turned out, I tried a different pen to ink this to try and maintain the sketchy quality of the original lines, and I really like it! Then I tried using watercolor brushes for the coloring. :3
#insomnia hyena art#fnaf au#insomnia hyena fnaf aus#fnaf: a wound left bleeding au#Fnaf Vanessa#FNaF Plushtrap#I'm just gonna gush about some AU thoughts I had while drawing this#at first I just wanted to make Plushtrap look kinda happy#it still likes to play after all. and even if dress-up isnt a game it was really made to play. its still a game and it'd try it and have fu#i think! But I changed the sketch a little so it was looking up at Vanessa#and it looks like#and i realized it /would/ be. AWLB Vanessa has gone through some shit man. it knows she has#it knows shes not really happy. and when you're that down. you really just /cant/ put in much effort beyond staying alive#dressing up nicely really isn't something on your mind or you feel like youve got it in you to do#but here she is! All dressed up in something really nice! And even though shes a bit reluctant about it. Plushtrap recognizes the effort it#likely took to even try! And its proud of her!#That's its friend that's been terribly sad for so long. and even if its a temporary affair. she felt up for trying something different-#and nice and it's freaking proud and happy for her! ;;
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Guy who has recently read Umineko, reading The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere: Getting a lot of 'Umineko' vibes from this...
#oh youve gone from being an observer to a meta-hero? you have to figure out who/how/whydunnit across time loops?#immediate anecdote about grief and what truth people focus on after death?#aeroplanes talking#umineko#tftbn
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houyi ..... i think i love all my bsd ocs on a degree that has me frightened
#tbd.#zhang linghe the man that you are#the bsd universe is my fav to explore at the moment and singularities are so interesting to me#i like what i did with houyi because as a gravity manipulator is manifests differently and links with his singularity#and his main goal right now is to find and reprimand ability user and singularity host paul verlaine#for his crimes and both because his organisation wants further testing and experimentation because the rumour has spread#that his previous singularity is GONE and he was given ANOTHER#which should not be possible from previous research#and houyis whole thing is he wants to be rid of his singularity or wants a better way to control it#that is completely his own#houyi killed his own original host to establish himself as the “original” being but he knows he isnt and it haunts him#my BABBYYYYYYY#he's the epitome of that “hey thats a nice random quirk youve got there. mind if i mimic it to appear human?”#and the thing is he switches so often between. im human. and IM A GOD.#and i think his original timeline thing stems from wanting to be human and then accepting the fact that he is a god#well. the vessel of one. but it is that it exists WITHIN HIM. but GGRRRFFFF#he doesnt smoke cigarettes but lights them and holds them between his fingers because thats what people do#he wonders that if he likes the colour yellow is that because he likes it? or because the researcher who input his coding#wanted him to like yellow. or did they like yellow.#i love him actually and ive yet to write him but hes there. in my mind. all the time#i think about him sooooo often#he has so many opportunities for threads and plots#gggrrrfff bark bark#will say. as someone who enjoys to a degree that is terridying the blade runner movies#he is very k coded from blade runner 2049 and also. insaaaaanely roy batty#i think i wrote it in his notes that houyi will kill his creator too#like all the rest of them have <3 some indirectly but#houyi makes the choice to kill her after i think a brief discussion on her decision to make him and the fact he always saw her#as more than just his maker#but to her he means so little .... mm roy batty it GIIIIIIVES <3
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I like the drama the “someone has to stay” great glacier arc brings but man it’s very distracting how they never even address anyone you may have recruited to paradise after the fact
#like i always assumed the first five were the founders and thats what happi meant and anyone else is just a part timer#but thats not what the game actually says. in fact quagsires explanation makes it seem like anyone who joins is an equal member#so its a case of gameplay/story distinction which isnt terrible but it bugs me#i know its so companion mode can work in case you havent recruited anyone else after the first five#but its so easy to recruit members that i think only a small amount of players would have had that much issue#and its even more distracting when pmd2 has a similar problem with the expedition arc#and they DO clarify about pokemon youve recruited by saying theyre not guild trainees#again i think i said this but i think ill clarify in my pmdverse that most recruits are pokemon that need a home#and theyre not officially on the rescue team itself#oh but then what about my idea where kiran and eris are actually the HAPPI founders…..#ok if i go with that i might just axe this plot djfdjjd. yeah they could just hold down the fort#but there isnt the defeated obligation the actual plot has#maybe emolga gets injured and thats why he cant go… or wait maybe the pokemon feel unsafe?#like knowing all of their founders are going to be gone for several weeks#and yknow that probably makes sense too. cause the alternatives are quagsire scraggy victini and gurdurr#and two of those are former outlaws who are still very crass- one is called the punisher- and the other is just the weather guy#echoed voice#pmd posting
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.
#cant believe itll have been seven years tomorrow#youve been on my mind so much lately#last time i saw you was the protest after the election#i wish we’d gotten more time#i wish you were here fighting with us#i wish so many things#i wish youd had the chance to go to college to fall in love again to try out new recipes to complain about traffic to listen to new music#to see your sister grow up to see everything all of it#selfishly i wish you wouldve been down to spend more time with me if youd lived. wish i couldve explained why i got distant from the group#wish i couldve explained how badly i wanted to keep talking to you and why i couldnt#i wish you couldve gone to the equity meeting i wish we couldve cried together wish we couldve bitched together#i wish so many things were different#i wonder what youd think of me now. what youd think of all of us. i wonder if you’re watching#i wonder if ill get to see you again when i die#sometimes i think i see you at work at the grocery store on the sidewalk and for a second i think maybe somehow its you#i wonder if youd come back if you could or if youd still choose death#did your pain die with you or did it follow you? i hope youre happier wherever you are#i hope your rest is so profound it outshines everything that was killing you i hope you know no one ever forgot you#i hope you know how much they all still love you how much i still care for you even though we didnt get much time together
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sometimes u get so deep into a rabbit hole that u are forced to start a wip for the soul purpose of having a place to store that knowledge
if you're curious dear reader, i have watched literal hours of gentle parenting videos (22, unmarried, no plans to have kids both due to unwillingness and inability) and am now starting a wip about the Thomas's
#also cause i really liked the guy's voice#sometimes u gotta listen to random shit that u will never use because you like someone's voice#anyway im planning on exploring reforming a family after so much has changed#i want to think about drift and disconnect#and attempting to be a good parent when you've been gone and your child is traumatized to hell and back#and attempting to be a good son when youve lost all the innocence of childhood#for all intents and purposes you are your own man but you so desperately want to be a kid again#so you can believe that your parents can protect you#idk#i have too many thoughts and too many feelings#lemme know if u need parenting advice i guess XDDD
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most movie endings of all time:
star wars revenge of the sith
lord of the rings return of the king
phineas and ferb across the 2nd dimension
spider-man into the spiderverse
#i speak#you could probably psychoanalyze the hell out of me with these tbh#im sure theres one or two im forgetting but like. these four. man.#its about the losing loved ones youve gone through a journey with and having to live with the After#<- insane statement to say about pnf but if youve seen it. you get it
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losing something you once had feels so much worse iv learned then realising youll never get something you never had
#this isnt true im just not in the middle of the second one anymore but its just. such a new sudden pain#what do you do when you lose a close connection with someone that used to tell you you made every day of their life better#and that theyd do anything to keep you in their life just a few months ago?#how you deal with the pain of the person youd go to to laugh with and cry to being gone?#i dont know. i dont other than to just. try to make sure im still here tomorrow and do the same the day after#its jsut so sudden. three years gone in less than a week i cant bear it. and i can still talk to them and i want it that way#and like. just just just i hope so deeply that one day we will be able to rebuild a relationship again#but thats dependant on them not on me. and i know if that day does come its at the several least months away#its not even their fault i know what theyre going through has to be awful too. i just dont know what it is and it feels so sudden for me#idk. what do you do when you lose the person you wanted to learn how to drive you could drive to meet them irl one day#before youve even started lessons? other than cry to olivia rodrigo ig but i was listening to olivia rodrgo without crying on friday#can i go back to that please? can i go back to before this fell apart becuase it did so quickly and i dont know how#vent#flappy rambles
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i think the final unus annus live stream fundamentally changed me as a person
#its 3 am. can you tell#but no srsly imagine being 14 and experiencing that. figuratively surrounded by 1 million people#and people youve watched since childhood then total blackness. just an empty screen#after like a year of the funniest shit ever. and its all gone. wowie#ALSO i was on the stream for like. almost the entire time i literally sprinted home from my bus stop to get in on time
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only now trully assessing tHE FUCKING DAMAGE the hairdresser did to my hair like i really im gonna kill myself
#the color is mostly weared off and blotchy only after 2 weeks my hair is fucking fried bc she left the dye on for to long the layers are#choppy as fuck😭😭😭#i cant even get my curls to come back like its so dryyyyy#ive been in denial but i saw how my ends are all frizzy and weird amd it made me start crying like ive been growing out my hair for over#a year and now its ruinedddddd😭#she disnt even do my bangs like i asked like lady youve been doing them since forever etfffffff#it was so silky and shiny and now its all gone 😭😭😭😭 its so dull and crunchy
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