#Aegon x Jacaerys incorrect quotes

[spunkyyyyyy]

Targaryen - Velaryon family talking about genes

Heleana: Is it true that you can inherit your family's personality?

Baela: I think so! I think I got my love for outdoor activities because of our father

Aegon: Probably got the crazy part of family huh

Aemond: WE INHERIT the crazy part Aegon

Jacaerys and Lucerys: ...

Heleana: how about you guys? what do you think you inherit?

Jacaerys and Lucerys: 😀😀

Heleana: guys...

Rhaena: lol they inherit the hots for their uncle I guess Baela: HA AMEN TO THAT (high five Rhaena)

Aegon: but can you blame them? 😋😋

Aemond: it runs in their family Rhaena shut up 🤨🤨 Jacaerys and Lucerys: STOPPPPPP 😭😭😩

[jacaerysonlywife]

FOR MY JACE GIRLIES OUT THERE!

[yandereunsolved]

Deity reader after seeing one of their lovesick Targaryens die in The Dance of the Dragons again—

Deity reader: "I have never understood you mortals insistent need to lose your lives over trivial things such as succession."

Yandere Daemon & Aemond: "He started it."

Deity reader: "I am omnipotent. I have seen the entire battle and the conclusion of the war beyond it. I have never indulged in your kind so much before. Consider your revivals gift for the reverence you pay to me."

They immediately get revived so Deity reader doesn't have to deal with them anymore.

Yandere Jacaerys pops up in their heavenly domain for the fifth time this week. (The time tells that it is only that of the third day within the seven.)

Deity reader: "Why do you keep sacrificing yourself to earn my approval? You already have my favor and my protection."

Yandere Jacaerys: "I only wish to please you and admire your divinity. I would stake myself a thousand times over if only to get a glimpse of you."

Yandere Aegon deciding to pray to Deity reader at that exact moment.

Yandere Aegon: "Mommy, Daddy, whatever you prefer, please keep my stupid brother, that worthless bastard, and my idiotic uncle dead. I will worship you between your thighs and with the body you have blessed me with for the rest of eternity if you do this. I'll do it anyway. I mean it. Please let me—"

Deity reader: "Oh, for my sake. I should never let that man into my heavenly domain."

[nor-4]

Incorrect quotes w Hotd (and reader)

Cause I'm lazy...

Aegon: Bonjour

Y/n: Shut up

Aegon: Tu es une merde

Y/n: What the actual fuck

Aegon: It means "You are shitty"

Y/n: I don't speak croissant

Aemond: Me and my y/n don't argue

Jacaerys: Have you ever had a argument with your girlfriend?

Aemond: She tells me to shut up and I do

Aegon: Guys, unsleep me at 6

Helaena: What?

Aegon: I said unsleep me when it's 6

Y/n: It's wake me up at 6

Y/n: Dumb fuck

Aegon: You bitches listen

Aegon: Rate a pick up line for me

Y/n: Yea sure

Aegon: Girl are you from Mississippi

Aegon: cause you're the only miss whose piss I sippie

Y/n: -10000/10

Helaena:

Aemond: I just woke up, I think it's enough for today.

Daemon: Something about u is different from other girls

Y/n: Wdym

Daemon: You're actually insane like

Y/n: Why are you so mean to me?

Aemond: I'm flirting with you

Y/n: So what do you like?

Aegon: Being choked

Y/n: I mean music..

Aegon: oh

Y/n: Do you like me?

Harwin: I just railed you what do you think

Aegon: Do you like Cigarettes after Sex?

Y/n: I'm a virgin with asthma

Daemon: Your ass is like, spacious

Y/n: What the fuck

Daemon: I don't wanna say fat because it might trigger your ED

Aegon: She's online what do I do??

Aemond: Idk

Aemond: Send a Pic of your dick

Aegon: You first

Aemond: ?

Aemond: You send it to her

Aemond: Idiot

Aegon: Aight send her insta

Jacaerys: (Sends y/n's insta)

Aegon: She got a man bro nvm

Jacaerys: No she don't

Aegon: Then who Roman 12:12

Y/n: Why didnt you tell me you were married and have 3 kids?

Rhaenyra: I'm shy

Aegon: Hi sorry if this is weird but are you one of the people who hate me😭

Aemond: Hi omg not weird at all!! Yes I am <3

[chicken-wayng]

How Nyra figured out her heir

*Rhaenyra runs into the kid's courtyard and hides behind a pillar facing from the door as her kids, uncle, and uncle's lover look up from their card game at her. Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, Daeron, Jace, Luke, Joff, Baela and Rhaena look at her with startled expressions, Daemon with a knowing one. Criston just wants to win the game and is too used to this behavior to be distracted from the cards by it.*

Rhaenyra: Who wants to be my heir?

Aemond: What?

Rhaenyra: Whoever is to be my heir needs to do me a favor.

Baela: What's the favor?

*a scream echoes through the Red Keep*

Alicent: Oh my Seven! Who did this?

Rhaenyra: No more questions, who wants to be my heir?

Jace: Um, I'll do it?

Rhaenyra: You're a good boy *grabs him by the shoulders* I've got him Allie!

[jaegonsmoon]

Rhaenyra losing her shit, calling Jace: Your little brother ran away with my little brother, sent me a picture of their wedding bands and dropped off the radar and now we don’t know where they are!!!

Jace, who just woke up: Which ones

Rhaenyra: Which—? Lucerys! And Aemond!

Jace, who secretly married his uncle Aegon in Vegas two years ago and has been living with him since right under everyone’s noses: Damn that’s crazy

[agathaswoman]

drunk!y/n crying about rhaenyra

rhaena: why is y/n crying on the floor?

baela: they're drunk

rhaena: and?

baela: they saw a picture of rhaenyra's partner

rhaena: but they're rhaenyra's partner

baela, aemond, aegon, jacaerys, lucerys, and helaena: yeah, we know

[lieujones]

*Lucemond wedding*

Lucerys: We need a flower girl

Aegon: *clears throat*

Aemond: Jaehaera and your sister would love it

Aegon: *clears throat louder*

Lucerys: Yeah, but Visenya might be too youn-

Aegon: DEAR GODS, LET ME DO IT. PLEASE. I WILL SPREAD YOUR FLOWER PETALS WITH THE GRACE OF A QUEEN. PLEASE BROTHER, PLEASE.

Jacaerys, dark circles under his eyes, handing Aemond a hundred-dollar bill: Let him do it.

[aegonette]

House of the Dragon x Bob's Burgers 2/?

[freya-captain]

During the breakfast

Lucerys: Ugh uncle Aegon and uncle Aemond act like assholes last night during the dinner. They totally ruined the family time.

Jacaerys: I agree. I even had a worse fight with Aegon later.

Lucerys: Oh no what happened?

Jacaerys: We just spit upon each other, said many cruel words. We both get really agitated and lost it—

Aegon, with hangover face and messy hair, walking out of Jace‘s bedroom, yawning

Lucerys:

Lucerys: And you fucked? 😨

Jacaerys: blushing …Yeah

Aegon: sitting by the table, smirking We did. Hard.

[strawberryismyshitcat]

Jacaerys: i want to marry you. you will be my queen and have my kids-

Aegon II (who was transformed into a woman by a witch): I'm afraid I have to tell you something.

[laughing-luma]

Aegon: I like men because I want a strong male figure in my life.

Jace: I like men because I want a strong male figure in my ass.

Aegon: ...that can be arranged 👀

[jacaerysonlywife]

JACE GIRLIES I REPEAT JACE GIRLIES

OMG MAN LOOK AT HIM

[yandereunsolved]

Seer reader: "Today is gonna be totally normal."

Approximately thirty seconds later—

Yandere Aegon: "Which one of us is more likely to marry you?" Deep breath "Is it me or Aemond? Is it me or Aemond?"

—

Yandere Rhaenyra: "It is good to have you here. You will surely aid us in the war."

Seer reader: "H-How did I get all the way back here?"

Yandere Daemon smugly standing in the corner after he kicked a child and stole you back from Team Green.

—

Yandere Criston Cole: "I will protect you with every bone in my body."

Seer reader: "You can't protect me from the horrors."

Yandere TB & TG: "We're the horrors."

—

Yandere Aemond: "Mine."

Seer reader: "I am a bastard, my prince."

Yandere Aemond: "That just means you will have to marry me and have my children to be considered legitimate."

—

Yandere TB & TG: "Whose side are you on?"

Seer reader: "The side of my freedom." Eyes the map and looks at Essos.

—

Yandere Helaena: "You're very pretty."

Seer reader: "Thank you."

Yandere Helaena: "Did you know the copulation process is exceptionally long among ladybugs? It can last more than two hours. Is that how your visions work? Are they induced by your hormones? If my husband were to couple with you, do you think you would end up getting a vision in the middle of it?"

Seer reader: "I—uh."

Yandere Helaena: "If we were to entwine limbs do you think our process would be close to that of a ladybug? We were both given divine gifts. It would make sense if it took that long for us."

Seer reader: whispering "Daemon, Rhaenyra, Jacaerys, save me."

—

Viserys: Gets down on one knee

Seer reader: "Oh my gods, it’s finally happening."

Viserys: Dies.

Seer reader: "The poison kicked in."

—

Yandere Daemon: "Three words. Say them and I'm yours."

Seer reader: "Three words."

Yandere Daemon: "A win is a win. A win is a win."

—

Seer reader: Running around the castle panicked, blind, and with a bloody nose.

Yandere Daemon: "What did you see, my dear?"

Seer reader: "Nobody died. I promise."

Yandere Rhaenyra's mother senses kicking in: "WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!"

—

Yandere Alicent & Yandere Ser Criston worrying over Seer reader and the fact Yandere TB will try to kidnap them again.

Seer reader: "Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve."

Yandere Alicent: "I think you mean cards."

Seer reader, pulling knives out of their sleeves: "No, I do not."

Both yanderes silently questioning how you got those knives.

—

Random noble: "Do you have a spouse?"

Seer reader: "Emotionally, or legally?"

—

Yandere Helaena: "Treat spiders the way you want to be treated."

Seer reader: "Killed without hesitation."

Yandere Helaena: "No!"

—

Seer reader: "What time is it?"

Yandere Aegon: "I don’t know. Scream and we’ll find out."

Seer reader: Screams.

Yandere Criston COLE: "WHO THE FUCK IS HURTING SEER READER AT TWO IN THE MORNING!?"

Yandere Aegon: "It’s 2 am."

—

Seer reader: Looks at draft. "That is way too long."

Author: "I'm making it longer."

[daddyissuesandmissingdragons]

Rhaena: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Jace: Just rip the bandage off. Rhaena: It’s Aemond. Jace: Put the bandage back on.

Daemon: *walks into room* What are you in here saying?

[jaegonsmoon]

Luke ranting to Jace for the fourth time that week: It’s always “I can fix him” this and “He would fix me” that. Well I can make him worse, how about that?! There’s no one he hates more on this earth than me, I’m the person he has the strongest feelings for!

Jace: For the 100th time, this is not the flex you think it is. Bro, he wants to end you.

Luke: Yeah… but he wants me.

Jace: Hell yes, he wants you… fucking dead!

Luke:… A win is a win—