#Act 49
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Force the last page of our story
You're my favourite allegory
Hope to god that you'll forgive me
My mistakes will long outlive me
Mine, mine is the unkind, kindest cut of all.
#i always felt like 51% 49% was quite relatable bc like#we are all always choosing what part of ourselves we want the other to love#this is such a selfish act#even as i want to do it myself i want others to be able to show themselves fully to me#to know them complete#anyways#the song that goes w this is#turtles all the way down#by sammy copley#fanart#illustration#kim dokja#orv kdj#orv#orv fanart#orv spoilers#orv kim dokja#omniscent reader#omniscient reader spoilers#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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here together
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobotomy corporation spoilers#abram lobcorp#i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up#so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like#i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing#i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container#how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei#downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on#her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it#in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee#to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end#the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment#but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more#to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply#regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you#bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram#the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49#oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops
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You know the main character’s being a manipulative little shit when the story stops speaking from their perspective and only speaks from the others around them’s perspective
#y’know#I thought it was so strange how weak and sad Yoojin was acting#since he was acting so confident before#and then I realized#it was referring to him from a third person perspective#so he was just being a manipulative little shit#love that for him#and then when the perspective switched back he was just internally disrespecting the crap out of the guy 😭😭😭#like ‘what’s-his-name said’ or ‘ugly expression’#okay go off Ig#every time he referred to the other person as ‘something something-ssi’ had me crying#story#novel#mc#main character#novels#webnovel#sctir#orv#and then there’s the referring to Kim Dokja from the third person after he tricked the company with 49%…#but uh#I don’t rlly wanna talk about that.
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they literally said let's exchange gifts fr
#manchester united#manchester city#manchester utd#manudt#mary earps#woso#woso community#arsenal#awfc#leah williamson#lionesses#arsenalwfc#leah catherine williamson#leah williamson x reader#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo#manchester vs arsenal#omfg man#if they don't act right#i will be uncontactable for atleast 49 hours#istg they gotta act right#praying to sarina rn#st. leah 🙏🏻🙏🏻#lord jesus christ
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powder keg (full under the cut)
#wip success story!!#for a bit there i expected it to be a wip failure but i think we turned it around boys#arcane#arcane jinx#isn't it kinda cool how vi and powder don't. have last names. do vander or silco have last names#this thing has 49 layers and 1 of them is completely unrelated#approximately 8 of them are lineart#so it took 40 layers to color this.......#most of them are hidden too it's cuz i am so indecisive and afraid of messing stuff up so i just duplicate the layers and keep going#this is not a great art philosophy but it is what it is#eyestrain#my eyes got fucking STRAINED while working on this#but i love bright colors </3#the evidence of duplicating layers is in one of my shading layers called Layer5-1-2-1-1-1-1-1-2-2-1 or something like that#i went into overdrive lowkey bc i was like this Has to be finished before arc 3 (uhh very mild act 3/trailer spoilers to follow ig)#bc i Know her look changes and god knows i was NOT gonna erase those braids i painstakingly outlined (over a year ago)#it's the principle of the thing. i basically redrew half of it anyways but only because i could not stand it if i did not#i was already feeling like euhhhhhhhhhh abt the whole composition bc when i originally drew it it was kinda half based#around her league personality#so working on it now felt like it was just. Quite ooc for our current moment in the canon timeline#well. whatever. i think she looks cool enough. character notwithstanding. i just hope she is happy after saturday </3#jinx#jinx league of legends#felt like i should tag that on bc the personality thing lol.... lol#i just went through the jinx tag and reblogged a whole stream of super sentimental and super angsty jinx stuff#and now i am posting what i post best. moderately cool poses and mildly affective expressions :)#my art
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#dragon age#dragon age origins#I find it so funny that she’s always acting like a decrepit grandma#and you look up her age and she’s 49
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Is he sleeping with his eyes opens
Valky....darling it's almost show time...~ (*She gently cups his face*)
Oh! H-Hold on! G-Gonna go change really quick!
Take your time darling....
How do I look?
You look cute...~
Th-Thanks! I-I thought it'd be a little too much, b-but I like it!
You're very handsome. love.
O-Oh! Thanks!
#phighting spellbound#phighting valk#day 49#act 1#ptalau#phighting#phighting roblox#phighting!#roblox phighting
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Let him call, because again, Agasa was the one who set up this secret, he should be the one defending it. Again, the parent shows up out of the blue here, but I kinda wish they didn't. Because Shinichi's the protagonist, he has to deal with everything in the end, but I want Agasa to be confronted. Have him make up more lies. Bring in the parents slower, have them contact Kogoro to arrange for Conan to stay long term and work out payment. Ran asks about the parents and Kogoro is like 'oh it's fine, they're covering his stay', and Conan's going '...? ???????'. Agasa denies having anything to do with it on Yuusaku's orders. Conan frets about it for a while and they actually see how he'd react to potential unknown danger. And then spring the 'kidnap him' trap to fully show him what could possibly happen.
But I guess just 'kidnap him and potentially give him a heart attack to prove that death is a real possibility' without any setup or warning is fine, too, sure.
#ch 49#vol 5#I actually don't mind the kidnapping as much as many other people#But now I've made a more fleshed out scenario in my head that I'm sad isn't how this goes#But mostly I just want more acknowledgement that Shinichi never set up any of the identity drama#Agasa made up the story; he's the one who put secrecy in Shinichi's mind; and if there's any poking at the story; Agasa should be defending#Instead he just sits at home not having to deal with anything except occasional vents from Shinichi#And I guess fiddle with gadgets that might help#But really he was just 'oh you shrunk; well that sucks but no you're not staying with me; go with Ran'#Like; I know he justifies it with Ran's dad running an actual detective agency and thus can potentially get criminal info#But lbr; both of them knew that Kogoro wasn't going to get anything useful from where he was at the time#And even if he told Shinichi to increase Kogoro's reputation; there wasn't any planning on how to make that happen#Which almost got Shinichi killed /immediately/ after getting shoved onto Ran#Agasa doesn't even know about that near-death experience; and it would 100% be his fault tbh#Many times Shinichi was going to die would be because of Agasa insisting on secrecy and giving Shinichi the responsibility-#Wait; no; hold on; he might have not actually been trying to help Shinichi hunt for the org#He might have just shoved him into a place he was relatively certain would be safe#And told Shinichi he could just make Kogoro famous if he wanted to put the detective in a position to get info#/But he wasn't actually supposed to be able to do it - Shinichi wasn't supposed to succeed at doing that/#He was sent into hiding with a former cop; Agasa probably didn't realize he'd actually be in the fringes of BO activity#Or that Shinichi is just /that/ reckless when it came to crime solving#It was supposed to be a placebo while he and probably the parents tried to think about what to do#But Shinichi not only gets very close brushes with death on a regular basis#He can't even keep up the kid act with Ran and needs help#Agasa took his eyes off the teen child for two seconds and found that he started a bonfire of danger somehow#(Look at that; yes; I /can/ think myself in many circles to make almost anything justified)
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one of my fave Dr. Coomer lines that didn't make it into the videos is him going "He hates television!" about one of the houndeyes
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On the one hand, hybrid work means I'm gonna have trouble shutting off after a workday again when working from home.
On the other, it means that on those days, I don't have to shave my face. I don't have to worry about legitimately concerned questions if I wear clothing I can comfortably wear for eight hours. I don't have to lose fifty fucking minutes to medication each morning before I can "start my day".
#hirsutism#IBS#fibromyalgia#chronic illness#polypharmacy#pill burden#why are clean sweatpants and a graphic tee more worrying than a luridly bright shirtdress covered in an inadvisable amount of minions?#“you shouldn't care what people look like and just not shave your face! uwu”#I have had kids ask their parents to explain why a grown woman might have a beard#usually quite politely for their age#and the fully grown adult entrusted with keeping a human being alive acted like their child had just pointed out an eldritch horror and ran#and because I work for a company with fossils for CEOs#I only get acces to this 49% of the month
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Day 79
#Day 79#37 Minutes#Total: 1 Hour 49 Minutes#Enlai#Mien#I only added tones because I was finished too quickly to feel okay iwndiwjxiwd#So it was never meant to be detailed#But really wanted to be able to show them acting more like friends#since I like drawing them grumpy#They like to spar and roughhouse etc#had to make up the poses though so 😔#TMS
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#crush blogging day 49#today has been all about grappling with my inability to motivate myself to do anything#and the guilt i feel for leaving my cherished dragon plushie at fire boys house#its so silly hell be like 'dragon told me this' and i have to hold myself back from announcing 'he would not fucking say that'#youve characterized my boy so incorrectly you dont even know#blorbo from my plushie collection :(( look how theyve massacred my boy#anyway at this point im trying to understand the rhyme and reason behind the desire i feel towards him#by that i mean trying to be kind to myself when i feel sexually ir sensually attracted to him#and starting to explore more of where the shame comes from#why do i feel ashamed that i want to be close to him? why do i feel dirty for wondering about whether sex is something I'd want with him?#also: why do i feel the need to over analyze my desire to kiss him?#its literally not a big deal to want to kiss someone youve been going on dates with#but nooo ive gotta ask#do i really want to kiss him or do i just think i want to? if i really want to kiss him why didn't i the other night when he wanted to too?#(answer: if i didn't want to kiss him id probably not be up at 11 pm fantasizing about it)#(and its perfectly ok for me to not act on desires when im feeling scared or nervous; those feelings can and do coexist)#ughhhhh as soon as hes gone i want him back#as soon as ive got him and hes looking at me the way he does its like i feel so safe yet so nervous and i cant do anything#except hold him#mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh see now i wish he were here so i could actually kiss him#but when he was here and down to kiss i couldn't face my fear of intimacy! how annoying is that????? (very)#this will be remedied soon because im pretty certain next time we hang out we will kiss. we will.#silly silly Jasper#fire boy#from the couch#Spotify
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tempest closing night done :3 maybe the real tempest was the friends we made along the way
#BOATSWAIN#here master what cheer!#we had to keep danika muted during the first line cause she kept screaming it#mutes were better today!!!! hudson did cues both acts (i didnt want to)#bobby-senpai-is-furthering-their-education bobby came to watch our show today and hudson and i were NERVOUS#alayna accidentally muted her mic while fixing her pants . and then aiden fell into the water (49° today)#finally free of the shackles of tech and performance week . now i die peacefully . ouuguhugughh
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Acts 13:49 Keep Spreading God's Word
And the word of the Lord was being spread throughout all the region. Acts 13:49 With the amount of social media and internet available, amazing news can spread very rapidly. Some big event occurs, and people will instantly talk about it with everyone. Posts will be placed on news sites and every social media platform. Businesses will plaster the internet with ads to get out the information of a…
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went to bed early and woke up before 8am today! pretty cool. except I woke up with a bad headache and eventually had a very long nap.
I'm just so damn tired! like, no matter how much or how well or when I sleep, I'm still tired all day. so it's just pointless trying to fix my sleep schedule (when I'll just be asleep most of the day anyway).
#and also.#my mother in law just very sternly told us to fold our clothes after washing them#for some reason she just. started washing our clothes when we got here. no one asked her to. she didn't ask us. just did it#and then acts like it's such a burden. yes and no one asked you to do it 🤔#anyway no I will not be folding my damn clothes because they are going right back in an ikea bag because there is nowhere else to put them#we have one tiny wardrobe in 'our' room and there's lots of things that have to go in there so that the cats don't eat/destroy them#and. I am so fucking tired all the time no folding my clothes (to put them right back in a bag) is not a priority right now#guess what? our clothes usually stay in a laundry basket until we wear them (bc I don't have the energy and my husband just doesn't care 🤷)#it's not an issue. we are adults. we don't wear fancy shit that would look awful and wrinkly. our t-shirts will be fine.#I don't know man. it's only been a week and I already feel like peeling off my skin because of how she is#genuinely I cannot handle being treated like this. I couldn't handle it when I was an actual child and I sure as fuck can't handle it now#I don't know why I thought this would be fine. why did I let him convince me that she'd be different this time.#I know it's no big deal! she's just so judgmental and mean about everything. like the most inconsequential shit#like - last week on the day my husband worked from home he took a few breaks. as he normally does. obviously.#and she kept telling him to go back to work??? what the hell man he's a fully grown adult who has been working for years and at this#particular job for over a year. HE knows when he can take a fucking break.#like. she's never joking. she never says something casually. it's always serious and judgmental and negative.#I feel like I'm suffocating#anyway. only 49 days left. I can do it. I can get through this (knowing that I won't have to see her/them more than a few times a year afte#we move)#(I feel like an ungrateful piece of shit bc it IS very kind and generous that they are letting us live here for free for two months. and I#am grateful! but it's just not good for me mentally. that's all I'm saying. the problem is me.)#personal
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