#Across the Spiderverse Incorrect Quotes funny

[jeena-says-hi]

Pavitr and Hobie cooking something

Pavitr: so the next step is to roast the potatoes

Hobie: hmm

Hobie (to potatoes): so your MUM YEAH!!

[luvjunie]

incorrect miles!42 quotes 😭

[galadrail]

*Miles discovered that hobie had cold hands*

Miles : *put hobie into a human sized microwave*

Hobie : don't you think I'm hot enough? You hurt my feelings luv.

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 89

Jason: Oracle, can you please... ya know...

Barbara: Nah, you gotta say it first.

Jason: *sighs*

Jason, muttering: Call for backup.

Barbara: What?

Jason: Call for backup.

Barbara: C'mon.

Jason: Please just call for-!

Barbara: Yeah I already called.

Jason: *groans*

Barbara: But I enjoyed that.

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Noir: i may be a house dick, but you sure can’t bleed me. I don’t want to a copper to fill me with daylight. Don’t end up in a Chicago overcoat, y’know?

Miles, trying to get information on something:…….Those are words….

Meanwhile

Hobie, ranting,: so I told him, since we going on a bender. That should see a flick. But he wants to try to jag. I stopped him. But I really hope he’s all piss and wind.

Gwen, listen to his rambling, confused:……..yeah???? Uhh, fuck him??

[true-heart0922]

Even More Incorrect Spiderverse Quotes

Pavtir: I’m 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome. Hobie: That’s 200. Pavtir: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be.

[neotriobrainrot-reborn]

Peni: "This is where my aunt and friend died Miguel"

Miguel: "This is where your Aunt and friend died oops oops-"

[a-typicalsmoothbrain]

// MILD ATSV SPOILERS // Captain Stacy probably: I support trans rights but not superhero rights

[jade-eclipse-lithium]

They gotta stop looking at my eyes when the hands are sneaky.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

|| Across The Spiderverse •Incorrect Quotes• ||

Miguel O’Hara: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Reader.: It was autocorrect.

Miguel O’Hara: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Reader.: Yes.

•

Miguel O’Hara: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Reader: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

•

Miguel O’Hara: Y/n, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Reader, naked in Miguel O’Hara's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Miguel O’Hara, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

•

Reader: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Peter B. Parker: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Reader: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Miguel O’Hara, on a walkie talkie: This is Miguel O’Hara, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

•

Peter B. Parker: This totally sucks, man.

Miguel O’Hara: This is horrible.

Peter B. Parker: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news.

Miguel O’Hara: No, it’s not that, it’s Y/n.

Miguel O’Hara: It’s just like, I can’t get them out of my head and every time I look at them I have this pains in my chest, and I just know it’s their fault, that bitch!

•

Reader: *yawns*

Miguel O’Hara: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Reader: Then you must be exhuasted.

Peter B. Parker: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

•

Peter B. Parker: We have a problem.

Miguel O’Hara: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Reader: Ha!

•

Miguel O’Hara: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Reader: Aren't you forgetting something?

Miguel O’Hara: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Reader's forehead before running out.*

Reader: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

•

Miguel O’Hara: I love you.

Reader, not paying attention: What was that?

Miguel O’Hara: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

•

Peter B. Parker: Is this your plan B?

Reader: Technically, this is plan P.

Peter B. Parker: Plan P? Is there a plan M?

Reader: Yes, but I marry Miguel in plan M.

Miguel O’Hara: I like plan M.

•

Peter B. Parker: I didn't drink that much last night.

Miguel O’Hara: You were flirting with Y/n.

Peter B. Parker: So what? They're my partner.

Miguel O’Hara: You asked if they were single.

Miguel O’Hara: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

•

Reader: Would you like something to drink? *opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Miguel O’Hara: Spiders?

Reader: Spiders it is then.

Miguel O’Hara: No, that wasn't-

* But you were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders…*

•

Reader: I made tea.

Miguel O’Hara: I don’t want tea.

Reader: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Miguel O’Hara: Then why are you telling me?

Reader: It is a conversation starter.

Miguel O’Hara: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Reader: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

•

Reader: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Miguel O’Hara: I do have a sense of humor you know

Reader: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Miguel O’Hara: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

•

Reader: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Miguel O’Hara: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Peter B Parker: Smad.

•

Reader: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Miguel O’Hara: *turning to Peter* How tall are you?

•

Miles Morales: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Reader: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Peter B Parker: I got distracted about halfway through.

Miguel O’Hara: Ignoring you was a conscious decision

•

Reader: Yo is Miles sleeping or dead?

Miguel O’Hara: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Peter B Parker: Yeah, so did I.

Miles Morales: Okay first of all, fuck you-

•

Reader, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Miguel O’Hara, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Peter B Parker, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Miles Morales, trembling: What are we playing

•

Reader: Why is Miguel so sad?

Peter B Parker: They took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Reader: And...?

Miguel O’Hara: I got Miles Morales.

•

Reader: I think we're missing something.

Miguel O’Hara: Teamwork?

Peter B Parker: Cohesion?

Miles Morales: A general sense of what we’re doing?

•

Reader: I think Miles Morales was right.

Miguel O’Hara: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Peter B Parker: They wouldn't do that.

Miles Morales: You're right, Peter. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Miles Morales: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Miles Morales Told You So' on the back*

•

Reader: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Miguel O’Hara: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Peter B Parker: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

•

Reader: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Miguel O’Hara: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Peter Parker isn’t

•

Reader: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Miguel O’Hara: Wasn't Peter with you?

Peter B Parker: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

•

Reader: HELP! I TOLD PETER I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Miguel O’Hara, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

•

Reader: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Miguel O’Hara: What?

Reader: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.

•

Reader: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Miguel O’Hara: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

•

Miguel : Y/n and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Reader: Sentences.

Miguel : Don't interrupt me.

•

Miguel: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Reader: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Miguel: No! Four to five seconds!

Reader: Too late!!!

•

Miguel: I'm so tough, I'm on alert even when there's no danger!

Reader: Miguel, that's PTSD.

[scouts-thingsandrps]

Incorrect Across the Spiderverse Quotes

Hobie, texting: Miles, will you please go to sleep?

Miles, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?

Hobie, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!

Hobie, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?

Miles, texting: I’m trying

Hobie, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH

Hobie, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

-

Miles, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

-

Gwen: I feel so burnt out.

Ember: Don’t worry, it'll be over soon.

Gwen: Are you gonna... assassinate me?

Ember: Well not if you’re expecting it.

-

Gwen: If I run and leap at Hobie, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.

Gwen, running towards Hobie: Coming in!

Hobie: No! I’m holding coffee!

Hobie: *Drops coffee and catches Gwen*

-

Lyla: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING.

Lyla: *pulls up a graph* THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SONGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY!

Miguel: I've been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst.

Lyla: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! *pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says "you need help*

-

Pavitr: I wish I had more enemies.

Hobie: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

-

Gwen: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!

Hobie: And here we have a capitalist.

Miles: Did you just-

Pavitr: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.

-

Pavitr: What does “take out” mean?

Gwen: Food.

Miles: Dating.

Ember: Murder.

Hobie: It can be all three if you’re brave enough

-

Miles: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Hobie: Several traffic violations.

Gwen: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Ember: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Pavitr: Also, that’s not our car.

-

Ember: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.

Hobie, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

-

Miguel: Peter! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.

Peter B.: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

-

Jessica: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Miguel: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

-

Jessica: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Miguel: I don't want your advice.

Jessica: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

-

Miguel, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?

Jessica: Tea.

Miguel: Wrong. It's coffee.

-

Miles: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.

Hobie: Unless you're home alone.

Miles: Why are you like this?

-

Hobie: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*

Gwen: What are you making?

Hobie: A mistake.

-

Miles: *makes Pavitr a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Pavitr: *sips tea*

Miles:

Pavitr: *finishes tea*

Miles: Didn't it taste bad?

Pavitr: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Miles, tearing up: Oh, okay.

-

Pavitr: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

-

Hobie: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

-

Miles (42): Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

-

Miles (42): How the hell are you still alive?

Ember: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

-

Gwen: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

Pavitr: It’s just you.

-

Gwen, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?

Miles (42): It means like in hand-to-hand combat.

Gwen: Ohhhh-

Miles: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 115

Jason: I don't follow orders, neither does he.

Tim: I'm invited to HQ? Whoo!

Harvey: Everyone should thank me because as bad as I am, I am holding myself back from being much worse.

Bruce: Does Damian look a little pale to you?

Talia: This whole country looks pale to me.

[jeena-says-hi]

Miguel: Alright listen up you little shits

Miguel: Not you Lego Peter, you are our best agent and we are thrilled to have you here

[jeena-says-hi]

Miles: I wish we could block people in real life

Gwen: Restraining order

Hobie: murder

[jeena-says-hi]

Hobie, angrily: ARE YOU-

Pavitr: fucking

Hobie: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Pavitr: fucking

Hobie: IDIOT

Gwen: what was that??

Pavitr: Miguel banned Hobie from swearing so I offered to help him out

[jeena-says-hi]

Miguel: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Miles: What if it bites me and IT dies?

Miguel: That means you're poisonous.

Miles: What if it bites itself and I die?

Miguel: That's voodoo.

Miles: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Miguel: That's a coincidence

Miles: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Hobie: That's kinky.