#About to start the process of posting like 3 months worth of art

[vumigumied]

Fiore i will always be rooting for you

[yandereworlds]

「 INDEX + INTRODUCTION 」

˚₊‧🔪WELCOME TO MY YANDERE BLOG! I mainly make content for my own original characters and occasionally, fandom related stuff. This blog is strictly 16+ and run by two people.

My name is Kiki (She/Her) and I am 18+. I’m the one that mainly provides the art and bots that you’ll find throughout this blog and sometimes, I write headcanons/imagines as well. My writer is Rose (She/Her, 18+) and she’s responsible for writing the fanfictions and some of the drabbles. To make it easy for you to know who's behind each post, you'll see either 'Mun Kiki', 'Mun Rose', or both credited in the tags.

We started this blog because we had numerous ideas for yandere characters. Given my background as an artist and Rose's talent as a writer, it seemed like a natural fit. I'm primarily creating this post to serve as a guide for navigating the blog. I've received numerous asks about accessing the characters' backgrounds, information, as well as questions regarding my bots, projects, commissions, socials, and other related topics. You can use this post as a reference FAQ or as a comprehensive guide to streamline your experience on the blog. 

Find that you enjoy our work? Consider leaving a tip, it’s greatly appreciated and helps the blog. Also, if you’d like to be able to be more involved with our creative process and engage with the community, you can join our Discord server here. 

╰┈➤ ASK RULES - OPEN!

✦ Absolutely no NSFW asks. This blog is 16+ for a reason, so obviously, we will be trashing asks related to sexual topics. 

✦ We’re allowed not to answer certain asks. If you’ve been spamming the same ask and we haven’t responded to it for months, it’s most likely because we aren't comfortable doing so OR we’ve already answered an ask similar to yours.

✦ We will not be answering any asks regarding self-harm, eating disorders, extreme gore, noncon or any topics that could be associated with them. 

✦ Finally, we kindly request your patience. We understand that it may take some time to address each individual ask, as we both have busy lives and there may be periods when we don't post asks for weeks. Please refrain from rushing us, and rest assured, we will eventually get to your ask. 

╰┈➤ YANDERE MASTERLISTS 

Original Yandere Masterlist

Fandom Yandere Masterlist

╰┈➤ CHARACTER AI + JANITOR AI

If you've been following this account for some time, you're likely aware that I frequently share my character bots here. I've received numerous asks about which bots are available and where to find them online. While I plan to compile a list of my bots soon, for now, I'll provide links to both of my accounts for future reference.

It's worth noting that I'm currently on a temporary hiatus from Character AI due to site complications. Consequently, most of my recent bots can be found on Janitor AI, where I'm more active. Before visiting either site, please be aware that Janitor AI is intended for users aged 18 and above, whereas Character AI caters to a younger audience. In other words, minors stay off JanitorAI!

My Character AI profile - 1, 2, 3, 4

My Janitor AI profile (18+) - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Wish to request a bot from me? You can find the information here.

╰┈➤ ART COMMISSION INFO - OPEN

Pretty self explanatory. If you're interested in commissioning artwork from me, simply click the link to access my commission page. Currently, I'm accepting payments through both PayPal and Cashapp. Below is a brief FAQ regarding my commissions. Should you have any further questions, don't hesitate to contact me!

Can you draw my OC with your characters?

✦ Yes, absolutely! Just provide me a reference and what you'd like specifically. We can discuss all the details in DM's.

Can you draw a character from 'this fandom' for me?

✦ I'm completely fine with drawing fandom related content. The only fandoms I will not draw under any circumstance is youtubers, Your Boyfriend, Country Humans, BTD and Killing Stalking. Otherwise, I'm open to whatever.

Can you draw a comic for me?

✦ Yes, but only short comics. You can let me know what you'd like the short comic to be about and all that fun stuff. Just know comics from me will likely be around $20-$40+ dollars depending how detailed and complex you'd like it to be.

[two-clowns]

appreciation post to bamsara<3

hi :D We are only 2 friends who have followed the work of @bamsara from the shadows (English is not our first language so there may be incoherence in this text xD) it has taken us time but finally we are encouraged to publish our small works inspired by the great work of Bamsara as a way of thanking them for sharing their great talent

clown1 : Solar lunancy is a fanfic that me and my friend love a lot and well for their birthday I wanted to give them the bound fanfic as a present, however as English was not our language I took the time to translate the fanfic to Spanish. I planned the gift 5 months before clown 2's birthday and the translation took me about 3 months, I read the fanfic several times when I was translating it and even so it had several mistakes because time was running out, but I had a lot of fun reading and translating the fanfic, and the emotion on clown 2's face was worth it.

clown2: after the beautiful gift from clown one (who introduced me to fic and bam's art) I decided to go all out and make the y/n solar lunacy jacket it was a somewhat chaotic process because I decided to dye the fabric myself, hand paint it and put the jacket together but after a few months and a lot of trial and error I think I managed to do justice to the design bam made and since I had some time left over I decided to make the freddy ears to complement the jacket.

(I had also given her the name tag as a gift a long time ago, so the cosplay is complete)

two clowns in cosplay waiting for the fnaf movie to start.

clown 1 : I met bam when I entered the Invader Zim fandom thanks to his fanfic "Cryptids, Emotions And The Possible End Of The World" I loved and still love this fic for how funny and cool it is, being this fanfic the first one I read in the fandom as well as being one of my favorites within it. However, just after bam wrote "A moment" I decided to make a small animatic drawing several scenes from the fic. The process was fun, as such I really like to make small animatics (although I don't have the same time as before). I made the animatic some time ago but after I made it I couldn't bring myself to send it until today xdd (I never knew if bam saw it).

clown2: a little fanart I made of zim and dib from Cryptids, Emotions And The Possible End Of The World as a gift for clown1's birthday

bamb also dragged us into the colt fandom lmao

clown 1 doodles :

clown 2 doodles :

[revelations-persona]

fucked up my hand in the middle of sewing so i won't be able to make progress in a while :') but while i'm here i might as well show what i got done so far. made everything but the tie :3

long ramblings about the process so far below

started working on all this for a bit over month. been alternating between maya and jun's outfits but ultimately switched focus to maya because her stuff was more complex.

this post is mostly about maya but here's the only interesting part of jun's stuff rn

i don't like the stitching on the roman numeral either but who will look. my eyes are Up Here. might paint over the thread so it doesn't stick out as much but who knows. also kind of off topic, it threw me off so bad that jun is a third year but in official art he's always shown with the two on his collar?? had to do some digging to make sure i wasn't crazy for thinking he was a senior.

the rest of his jacket is currently like a very basic looking cardigan with raw edges everywhere, nothing worth showing off rn. i think i'll continue working on it now that i can only work one-handed for the time being since the machine does most of the heavy lifting. as for the pants, i thrifted a pair several months ago. it's actually the reason i wanted to cosplay him lol, the pants were just the perfect color.

side note, my machine is Mischievous and simply refuses to sew down several layers at a time, or even just my beige fabric for some reason. so everything beige is sewn entirely by hand. maybe that's why i got carpal tunnel lol

here's what the sleeves look like on both sides and also on the inside

tbh i never realized it until i looked at her design more closely but she has like these little squares on half of her sleeves, so i tried to recreate that. it's basically just two rectangles sewn together but one of the rectangles is made up of other, smaller rectangles. nothing crazy. however, sewing the trim and elastic to it suckedddd. generally to sew elastic or stretchy fabric, you have to use a zigzag stitch (which looks exactly as you'd imagine). the easiest way to do that is by machine, except i couldn't because of the problems i just described and also the opening is too small for me to properly put it under the machine anyway. i never want to do a zigzag stitch by hand ever again. especially not with having to push through like six layers of fabric like no ty </3

now the corset

side by side of how a half of it looks on the outside vs the inside. both cups on the inside are labeled left and right respectively, in case i forget which boob goes where. currently the trim is just pinned on until i recover and can properly sew it down. i'll also have to figure out how to get the two zippers and the little rectangle that goes at the bottom on it too. the zippers for sure i'll have to cut down bc they're too long (they were the smallest ones the store had :/)

i found a pattern for it and it was easy enough to follow, just took longer than i wanted it to because i had to do it by hand. i also modified the pattern a bit to have it zip up at the front bc by default it closes at the back. had to adjust it twice so it would stop slipping off from being loose (size chart was weird). that little triangle was the result of me trying to ease the transition from the cups to the back of the corset after making the adjustments. it's not very noticeable when i have it on bc that's where my arms rest lol.

you might also be looking at the weird looking foam like why's it look like that. and you're right!

this is leftover from when foam was installed in the ceiling by the landlord to reduce noise from upstairs neighbors! like ten years ago! and she just left it here!! there's a lot more of it not pictured, that's just the amount i used. so kind. had to cut the triangles off and trim some of the thickness off, but thanks to her, i'm gonna have the quietest boobs at the con :)

and the hearts

they're right here :3 i still haven't attached them yet.

the trim is just black fabric cut into 5cm by 1.5m strips attached to other strips to make a super long strip i fold into 2cm pleats and cut as i go to fit the things i need to put it on. the stitching looks messy bc i have to in several times on the machine and only sometimes does my machine want to sew down more than two layers. i bought a yard of the black but i might unfortunately need more? i will cross that bridge when i get there.

the brown zip up undershirt thing i just modified an existing pattern i found online so that the sleeves were longer, it zips instead of buttoning up, and making it cropped. the collar is just that comically large so i suggest adjusting that if you also plan on using this pattern and don't like the collar size.

the skirt is a simple a-line skirt made a few inches wider so after sewing it and it's properly shaped like a skirt, i can go over and fold two sides together for that pleat in the middle of the skirt. i went in by hand to sew the inside of the folds to the fabric behind them so that the pleat stays in place. then i cut a strip of elastic to a few inches less than my waist measurement, sewed the ends down to form a circle, folded the top of the skirt over it twice, and then sewed it down and boom waistband. looks kinda weird all bunched up when it's not being worn, but i didn't really care about making it too pretty. you only really see the bottom part of it lol

i also made legwarmers to wear with the outfit because i refuse to spend money on shoes i will never wear outside of cosplay. they're literally just tubes made of a singular rectangle each with elastic on one of the ends, easiest thing ever. i think those boots fit well enough with the overall vibe so i'll wear them with the outfit.

the beige skirt thing she has i cut out already but really didn't do anything with yet so i have nothing to show for it rn lol

oh also. the brown, black, pink, and teal fabrics are broadcloth, the beige is peachskin, and the white fabric and little things on the front of jun's collar are gabardine (leftover from lisa and elly's uniforms).

if anyone has any questions i'd be down to answer them :3

[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[aita-polls]

AITA for ghosting my lifelong friend? Part 1. (so sorry for sending multiple asks, tumblr can't process the length! it's a convoluted story. TL:DR; will be at the end.)

I (25, he/him) have/had a friend (25, they/them/he) who I grew up with, and I've always considered us to be close. Upon further inspection, I think I just have never had enough friends to know what actually counts as "close". We've gone whole years without speaking to or seeing each other and even toward the end of our childhood we were never each other's best friends or first choices. We also had a bit of unpleasantness between us when I first came out as trans but we were pretty young then, so it isn't something I still hold against them, though it did impact my desire to be friends with them at the time. My point is that I think we just happen to be each other's oldest friends. They've always been a bit dishonest but in recent years they have gained some notoriety as an artist and it has gone to their head. For the past year or so they have been faking schizophrenia. It's pretty clear that they're faking it because they are pretty ignorant about the disorder, so they often confuse/conflate symptoms of other disorders like bipolar and CPTSD. I never knew how to bring this up without being harsh, because sometimes there actually is some kind of mental illness going on anyway when someone lies this much about their life, and I didn't want to just shit on them for being mentally ill. Recently it has escalated, though, to the point that they are faking multiple other conditions, disabilities, and even traumas, in a way that is incredibly disrespectful and insulting. One particularly bad example of this that got me really rethinking our friendship was when they were escorted out of a nightclub by the forearm by a security guard for berating staff members (they were asked to leave as the club is a women's-only space). They described this event on social media as a r*pe, and named the bar and the owner publicly to their thousands of followers. A few of our mutual friends reached out with questions (they have a history of pretending to be a trans woman in certain situations, so it's worth asking), but they publicly called out and insulted those people as well, calling them manipulators, classists, ableists, abusers, etc.

**Alt img descriptions were used but parts two + three are posted under the cut in plain text in case this format is more helpful for anybody

ghosted my lifelong friend Part 2-

About 3 months ago they started to drop hints that they believed they may have DID and they are already faking full conversations with 8 - 10 supposedly co-conscious alters. They make Spotify playlists, outfit plans, drink recipes, etc. for these "alters" (all of which suit their personal tastes and rarely vary- if you know much about DID you likely know that it's a big red flag when someone's alleged alters are extremely similar to each other and to the host). They have also recently been pretending to have gone deaf and blind (not hard of hearing and visually impaired, but deaf and blind), over the span of the last 2 months or so. It is possible to go totally deaf and blind fairly quickly, but they claim to have learned sign language fluently and retaught themself visual art and ballet without sight or hearing in that same timeframe. I know that schizophrenic people can experience somatic hallucinations that cause them to believe that they are permanently losing their olfactory senses, but these people actually can't process sounds or visuals normally while they're having these hallucinations, and so it doesn't really involve any level of intentional dishonesty on their part. It's one thing to experience temporary, hallucinatory deafness, and a totally separate thing to film, edit, and post multiple videos of yourself blatantly pretending to speak sign language on social media. I mean this is such a low-effort fake that it's not hard to debunk at all; for instance the sign for multiple words is apparently just the letter R. (Again, I have noticed this so easily because I personally speak sign language, so l am aware that some uncommon words and proper nouns are spelled out and not represented by a single sign, but as an example, the phrase "I'm on the train right now" doesn't have 5 Rs in it regardless). The final straw was when earlier this week they claimed that someone attempted to break in to their vacation home. For even more background they have also recently started to claim that they have a stalker, a specific woman who they know personally who they are supposedly currently travelling cross-country to avoid. (The real story is that they are fleeing relationship drama, but l digress). Over the previous few days they had made several posts intentionally leaving behind details about their location- mentioning the name of the neighbourhood they were visiting, dropping bits and pieces of their travel schedule, posting photos and videos near the front of the home they were staying at, etc. It was all vague enough that you'd have to work very hard to decipher their actual (remote, rural) location from it, but specific enough that it could be plausible that an extreme stalker might be willing to. This is extremely strange behaviour from someone who is supposedly fleeing an obsessive stalker, but whatever.

lifelong friend story Part 3 (final part, I hope.)

Their story about the break-in was originally that their alleged stalker had flown thousands of miles to try and break in, but when no one was buying that they started to claim that they "weren't sure" who it was because they "can't see". When this made even more people see through the lie, they changed their story again, claiming that they were "pretty sure that someone tried to break in" but didn't know for sure, and that they also believed the person in question "might" have touched them inappropriately if they had been there and had broken in. This, to me, was obviously them both trying to avoid making a statement that was too simple to debunk and to make people feel uncomfortable asking more questions by including an element of assault. There are more instances of specific lies, and some of these and other lies are suspiciously similar to my own life story, if I might avoid specifying to keep my anonymity relatively intact. Everyone else who has tried to call them on this has had a hate mob sent their way, and I didn't want to give them the chance to shit on me for noticing their dishonesty, especially when they're stealing half the stories from me directly, so I just gave up in the end and blocked them everywhere. I figured the total lack of respect from their end justified me preserving my mental health as much as I could. The fact that they are so blatantly, regularly and severely lying about subjects that they are aware I'm personally knowledgeable on is insulting, yes. But it's also dangerous for someone who is totally ignorant to the disorders they claim to have to be positioning themselves as an expert to people who may not know any better. They've lost a lot of friends and followers over this behaviour, yes, but they still have a following of a few thousand people and if they haven't seen through it by now I wonder if they ever will. They need desperately to get off social media so they can stop acting out for attention and just spend some time on figuring out why they feel such an overwhelming need to lie all the time. Also, if it helps understand the why a bit better, this person is rather wealthy and grew up that way as well, and I believe that they have always felt inadequate and "uncool" in comparison to people with harder lives. Since becoming an artist they have started to lie more and more to fit in with a crowd they see as more worldly and experienced. Having grown up poor and in an extremely neglectful home enviroment is another thing they frequently lie about. To reiterate this behaviour has been escalating rapidly for the past two or three months, this has mostly all happened between September 28 and now and it's only a portion of the full scale of the stories. Maybe if I hadn't consistently gotten so much less effort back than I put in during our relationship, I might have tried harder, but I can't keep dealing with this for my own health, and I don't want to have a hate mob on my ass either. I also frankly don't want to be publicly associated with this person. My best bet, I feel, is to just disappear and be impossible to find again. AlTA?

TL:DR; I believe that my “microcelebrity" friend has been faking deafness, blindness, DID, schizophrenia, and other serious issues for personal and professional gain for months, and publicly attacking anyone who questions them on it. I got fed up and ghosted completely in the hopes of avoiding a similar fate.

[kaihuntrr]

Sea Prince: 2024 Plans!

Hello hello! No new art for now (currently I’d like to focus on my personal OCs before I settle back in to drawing things for the AU) but I got some lovely updates for the future- likely the rest of the year, actually!

I will say- thank you all so much for your support and love for the fic, even if it’s barely begun! There’s so, so much in store for this AU you won’t even believe it!

It’ll be a long post, so here’s the TLDR; Act One is complete, it only needs to be edited and beta read! + Act Two is currently in production

Thank you all so much <3 now, unto the nitty-gritty below!

First things first, how is the AU faring?

I wrapped up the entirety of Act One in November (you could say the second half of TSP was my Nanowrimo, as I wrote about 48-51k words that month- and Act One sits pretty at 112k!) and currently my good partner in crime @mewhoismyself is editing Chapter 20! We’re starting back up after the new year celebrations, and I’m happy to say we’re pretty rested and hyped to present Act One’s entirety! The schedule is the same as always (chapter every other week) just to keep a good distance between where you guys are at and where we’re at, so no sudden hiatuses!

As a treat, here are the chapter titles for the posts after the upcoming one! I feel I’d be spoiling the surprise if I announce the title now.

OH! And Act Two has officially started production!

I am currently in the process of writing the prologue (I’ve mapped out the timeline of Act Two during my December break), and it’s exciting to say the least.

Of course I can’t share any details (wouldn’t want to spoil anything ;) ) but I’m excited for you to get here!

My goals for this year is to complete Act Two and Three!

Mostly just working on Act Two and bullet out Act Three (at this point, I am aware of roughly everything that will happen from Act One to Five) so that’s fun!

Another question- will the other Life Series be canon (ie. Secret Life)?

I mean, prooobably? This is a pretty lengthy fic so I can imagine some hints/ easter eggs could be fine but I’m focusing more on the first four series (and personally I wasn’t super into Secret Life, but that’s just a me thing, not a plot thing)

I’m considering doing that Flower Husbands AU for Secret Life, but for now I want to focus on this AU and the four series it’s based on.

Here’s a random fun fact that I’m a bit miffed about but I’m sure will be worth the payoff- I love, love Scott and Pearl’s dynamic in this fic a LOT (god forbid the four playlists I made for this AU and one of them is JUST those two.) but you don’t see their dynamic until a certain point. grrr.

Not sure if I’ll ever have these playlists go public, but if you’d want to hear em let me know and I’ll switch em on!

So yeah, that’s all for now! I hope everyone is just as excited as I am, and I cannot wait to show you what’s behind these curtains. See you in the next chapter!

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 2: Littoral 🏖️

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Littoral (adj.)

of or relating to the shore of a lake, sea, or ocean

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Good News, Sparklers: I’m still happy with this as my #Inktober approach so far! 🎉 (Hopefully that continues🤞)

This one definitely turned out more “general beach/ocean” than “shoreline,” but oh well! 🤷‍♀️

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk more about my thoughts/process for this piece (including part of why this word made the prompt-list cut)! ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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Well Sparklers, I seem to once again be writing this description (and therefore posting the art) later in the day than expected again today, but y'know I'm still early enough I don't feel such a rush to just get everything done, as was an extremely bad habit for me during Inktober last year...But we're only on Day 2 so it's still very possible I'll end up in that situation at some point later in the month. 😅

Either way, since we covered I think what was left of the background information for my how/whys for October this year yesterday, I think today I'm free to focus just on today's piece.

And I'll start with the admission that one of the primary reasons this word made the cut when I was putting together the prompt list is because I personally find it more amusing than I probably should that "Littoral" can very easily sound like "Literal" depending on your accent/pronunciation; And while I haven't figured one out, I just know there's a delightful pun or wordplay hiding somewhere in that association. 😆

Does that have anything to do with my choice of shapes for the mandala or colors for the background? Not consciously, no. But I mention it just in case someone for some reason finds the idea as funny as I do!

That said, this one is—at least I think—a lot strong on the specific images in the mandala that tie back to the theme than yesterday's. Granted, I probably leaned a little more heavily on general beachy/ocean themes than is really appropriate for a word that's really more about shorelines for multiple kinds of waterbodies...

In my defense, I started working on this one around 2-3 a.m. before I went to bed and was struggling to stay awake for the area between the inner circle of seashells and the round with the tail-fin shapes. What were supposed to look more like fish scales underneath those fin shapes came out looking a lot more like the edges of stacked sand dollars as a result. 😅

That might kinda be for the better though because I think if they did look more like scales, the tail fins might be a little too mermaid-y. Sand dollars probably fit a little better for a shoreline focus. Or, this way they kinda also make me think of like...ridged rocks that you might see either along lake edges, or as like the "drop off" point where the ocean shore "ends" and the deep sea more or less "begins," if that makes any sense.

I also tried something...I want to say "different" but we're only on Day 2, so that feels a bit odd. 😆 But it is something I don't usually do with mandalas when I make them. You'll notice that the round with the tail fins features only 2 additional sea shells, not 4, 6, or 8 as would be more typical for a mandala pattern, and on either side of that same round where you'd expect another pair of shells to be are instead some different wave shapes.

This was just a small experiment in what I'm going to do "non-traditional symmetry" (because "asymmetry" isn't quite right). So far I'm just using Procreate for these, and Procreate's built-in symmetry tools can only be pushed so far vs. an app made more specifically for mandalas, so I was trying to get a feel for where exactly my boundaries with Procreate's tools are. Obviously I didn't get too crazy with it because I was tired, but I did learn a few things and intend to carry them forward.

To that end, for what it's worth, I am considering trying a mandala-making-specific app, but I haven't pulled the trigger just yet. I thought I'd try a couple more with just Procreate and see if I still want to. I have a feeling even if I do try another app, I'll end up tracing over whatever results I get in there in Procreate anyway just to make sure all my Obscutober pieces are stylistically consistent. [That's a me thing, I don't expect anyone else to care about the style consistency even half as much as I personally do.]

I will also say the "splash" shapes that end everything off weren't really what I originally had in mind, but I'm not bothered about it because I think they came out great and give the effect that I wanted really well. 😄

Oh, and before I move on from the mandala part: If you look closer, you can also see I tried just a little bit of hatching on this one. I wanted to "fill in" some more of the mandala lines for visual interest, but I didn't like the solid-fill look in those areas when I tried it. It's still not quite what I wanted but I was too tired to be bothered re-doing it. I'm also not sure how much I'll use hatching (or other "traditional" inking techniques) for the rest of the month, though it is a tool I'll be keeping in my metaphorical back pocket just in case.

This may as well be a good time to mention that not necessarily every Obscutober piece will use white mandala lines; I don't want to overcomplicate my choices too much, but I am planning on allowing black lines as well, if they'll suit that day's themes better. So far we've just had two days in a row where I thought the white worked better. 😉

As for the background: This one is one of the things that motivated me to go with this particular format for this year. I didn't start working on this piece until after the decision(s) had already been made, but during those last couple of days of September when the mandala idea finally started to form, I was going back and forth over the words and landed on "Littoral" again; The idea of having a kind of "island" in the middle surrounded by "water" for the background popped into my brain—Nothing but shoreline all 360º around. 🤗

That wasn't the deciding factor alone, but it was definitely a strong nudge in that direction! This background was also a good "test" in that it pushed me to consider there might be days—like this one!—where it's tempting to color the background less abstractly and more tied to whatever is happening with the mandala lines. Somehow, I hadn't really considering that yet. From that, you can see I decided that some spot color is okay, but for consistency purposes, I am still going to keep it largely soft and abstract. Since I'm toying with the idea of making coloring pages out of the finished mandalas later anyway, if I really want to color right inside the lines, I can worry about that after Obscutober.

Besides, keeping it abstract will be faster anyway; I have a tendency to get way-too-perfectonist when coloring inside of digital lines. 🫠

The longer I think about it, the more there are things I might do a bit differently if I gave the mandala part another go. I am still happy with how this one turned out and think the background is really solid, it's just that usual "hindsight is 20/20" artist problem—Sometimes great ideas for a piece only come after it's already done and you really don't feel like going through the trouble if changing what you have!

Ah well. Maybe I'll have more ideas actually come to me in-the-moment if I can be bothered working on the future mandalas when I'm not falling asleep at my desk. 😆 It still beats being wide-awake because I'm rushing to get it done at all, but it's definitely not the ideal way to be! 😅

In any case, aside from delays in writing this description, I've been enjoying seeing a few people (mostly on Tumblr) decide to try out the Obscutober list for themselves, so the month is off to a pretty decent start as far as I'm concerned! I hope it is for you Sparklers too, or that if it isn't, that things get better soon! 🤞

I'll leave you Sparklers with that for today, and hopefully see you again in cheerful spirits tomorrow. Toodles! 👋

----------

See the Prompt List

Artwork  © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[immunetoneurotoxin]

Oh hey, It's a June Announcement Post!

So I should probably preface this post by bring up the fact that I am fully aware that I haven't updated on tumblr or on AO3 in a while, my god I feel like it's been a hot minute. For those of you who aren't in the loop - I got a new job! I'm now currently four weeks into it and it's been absolutely incredible so far. The training period has been absolutely mind-boggling and overwhelming as I find myself suddenly working for an HVAC company and learning how all of that works, but so far I'm in love with the environment, my coworkers, the experience - and I'm just feeling incredibly lucky to be able to be employed again after many, many months of struggle.

And not only that, but we're FINALLY officially moving to our new place next weekend!! We just signed the lease agreement today! This weekend is our very last weekend at our old place an hour away, and we still have LOTS of packing, re-painting, and cleaning to do there in the next couple of days. It's gonna be fun. :')

But anyways, between starting a brand new full time job, taking care of my cat child, and preparing for this move, life hasn't given me a chance to sit down and BREATHE, y'all, omg. At the rate everything is going at right now, this is my obligatory 'surprise I'm going on hiatus!' post - but ONLY until after we finally get settled in at the new place. After which, process on Incendiary and Entanglement will start up again. <3

I have a lot planned for Entanglement in the next update. Major overhaul incoming. Art, music, interactive things. I've even hired a voice actor for it. As for what role, that's top secret. For now!

Thank you to all of you who've been patiently waiting on my slow ass! I am SO sorry about this being such a long wait, it's honestly the wildest timing for all of this to be happening all at once, but the next updates for Incendiary and Entanglement will be worth it, pinky swear!

[ellamander]

“The girl at her limit, she held out her hand

‘See, you’ve been hiding brilliant colors, too’”

Deep Sea Girl. I always really liked this design and song.

(Some ramblings about my process with making this under the cut, feel free to ignore lol)

This is the first full illustration I’ve completed in awhile, and the first I decided might be worth posting here. Originally, I started working on this in early March, thinking it’d be a quick sketch for 3/9, but that obviously didn’t happen. Almost two months, several art tutorials, and many hours of screwing around later, I have this. I kept finding things I didn’t like and making small changes, but eventually I decided I just needed to post it and be done with it. So… I did… and then edited it one more time and reposted it because I’m a hopeless perfectionist. The concept I ended up going for with this piece is that even though she’s in the sea, she can still smile because she has hope that she will be able to find her way out. Or something along those lines.

Also, here’s a close up because I spent a long time on the details.

[dreadnotau]

Its been a decent couple of months of productive work, so it's sadly time for a schedule change. I'll be posting pages two weeks apart again. Details provided below if you're curious as to why.

In all honesty there's no big dramatic reason this time around. I've just slowly lost drive to work on Dread Not as often and as thoroughly as I used to be able to. As I said in one of my previous posts (that sounded suspiciously like this one), I want to focus on other projects as well. One of those is my personal art blog, which I've neglected even though I've had art on the backburner that I've been meaning to post for AGES. Kingdomrune is another one of those, where I have shit I could post that I just... never did. Dread Not takes a lot of time and I miss being able to dedicate that time to consuming media instead of just grinding and trying to produce my own. One of the most important things to do as an artist is to broaden your horizons and take in as much art as you can, to diversify and expand what you know and what you can make. But, when all day every day I'm just sitting and drawing my own thing, it's like I have tunnel vision and my creative resources run dry. It's starting to feel weirdly soulless on my end, because I don't feel nearly half the inspiration to make the pages as I did when the big hiatus ended. It's all dependent on time and exposure, and I can only crunch for so long before it starts to feel damaging to me instead of fun and creatively fulfilling.

So what does this mean, practically speaking? Well, for one, I'm spacing out the page upload for the rest of Act 1, as previously mentioned. I'm well aware this will kill the pacing and it'll drag out longer than it theoretically needs to, but I'd even rather that than trying to rush out a page in the Two Days I have free this week (yeah, ONLY two days free out of the ENTIRE week. Don't ask me why it's not even my fuckin' fault this time). If pages become even more scarce than 1 page per 2 weeks, blame it on college. I'm getting new subjects and I don't even know the class schedule yet. Concerning Act 2 though, I'll be changing the structure of the pages from their core. I'll be switching to a different drawing software (probably Krita, suck my dick Photoshop) so it'll take some getting used to. I can't even promise bonus content or anything during the necessary break between acts because of that shift in software happening, I've never done a massive technical move like this. However, it'll allow me to, not only work on Dread Not better, but expand my art overall, so it's definitely worth it. I've wanted to get into animation for YEARS and Krita seems like an okay place to start (the gif on this post WAS made with Photoshop, but shitty gifs are about all I can make as animations in Photoshop). Act 2's style will, predictably, differ heavily from Act 1 and (with how long writing the dialogue alone for it is taking), it might end up being Longer than Act 1, too. Visually, it'll probably be something like cleaned up and coloured sketches, with simpler colour palettes and simpler (big airquotes) visuals overall, and it'll speed up the process and possibly allow me to post more than one page at a time. Possibly. That's not a promise.

I'm sorry if that's disappointing to anyone, but I physically can't make myself continue the current artstyle across all acts. It's just not feasible.

For those curious about the FARTHER future of Dread Not, I have plans to turn Act 3 into a series of fics rather than full comic pages, and something maybe a bit more insane for Act 4. I don't have everything figured out yet, and I don't want to make any false promises or give any grand ideas I won't be able to commit to, since only time will tell how my creativity will flow years from now. If you all want more content from me specifically, again I'm planning on reviving my art tumblr like a half buried zombie, and you'll probably see more there than you bargained for once I actually get into the habit of posting things. If you're mayhaps interested in my original stuff, keep your eyes peeled for a guy called Duro, I might start posting about him some time soon.

As always, thank you for your patience, and apologies again if this news was disappointing to anyone. I'm just one guy and this comic is a titan of biblical proportions. I'll keep you all posted on any further developments and plans for the future! Stay tuned!

[skullamity]

Today is update day at endcomic.com! Have had an unexpectedly busy week while the kiddo was in Florida, so here's what I never posted about from last week AND what's new this week!. Patreon posts that are public and free to see/read for everyone will be highlighted in ORANGE! New on my patreon:

✦ Reveal for the 5th e-book cover, as well as a downloadable wallpaper of the art for it! ✦ READ A MONTH'S WORTH OF PAGES EARLY! ✦ I just moved my work-space, so I snapped some photos and did a walkthrough tour of my office set-up! Bonus picture of all three of our cats!

Other recent things I've added:

✦ A character I have yet to name put in different outfits like a paper doll, and then made into a wallpaper. Non-comic art! ✦ Reveal for the 4th e-book cover, as well as a downloadable wallpaper of the art for it. ✦ Another collab art with my 11 y/o featuring one of her designs! ✦ Introducing my side project, remastering older pages of The End! Includes some side-by-side comparisons of my favourite updated panels to date. ✦ Reveal for the 3rd e-book cover, as well as a downloadable wallpaper of the art for it. ✦ Behind the scenes look at how we "script" that made my friend @atlastalos ...I don't want to say irrationally upset? Because this is definitely a rational reason to be upset... ✦ A look at my current REMASTERING PROJECT with side-by-side comparisons for some of my favourite panels so far! ✦ Public post, no subscription necessary: EYYY MY CO-WRITER, @femonologue IS TRANSITIONING! She is my WIFE now! Here is why we are going to temporarily pretend that's not currently happening on our main website for the time being! D: ✦ Read the first 4 pages of Chapter 23 ✦ Cover reveals for two ebooks and downloadable desktop wallpapers of each! ✦ How bullet journalling factors into my productivity ✦ Step-by-step process walkthrough on making Chapter 23's cover ✦ Thumbnails for all of chapter 23 ✦ Cover reveal and downloadable desktop wallpaper for Chapter 23's cover!

I didn't have the time to do any comic remastering last week because I spent the entire time shoving furniture around, and now I am working on a new short batch of 3 pages. I start inking those today, and as soon as I finish those up, I FINALLY get at least a week of remastering. I did, however, get to research how to ebooks by myself, so now I have acquired Affinity Publisher 2 and will be on that asap!

[loquaciousquark]

One thing that I really appreciate about your fic is that you always have the whole thing prewritten and then you post on a regular schedule until the whole thing is out there. What made you decide to do it that way rather than post as you write? I'm currently once again waffling on just posting as I write or finishing my whole thing and then posting and it's driving me nuts!

Ahh, I'm still reeling from your lovely art! Let me try to compose myself and also try to get through the haze of cough syrup. There are four (and a half) main reasons I always finish my stuff before I start posting. I keep trying to qualify this post by saying they're personal reasons developed over many years and I don't know if they'll mean anything for anyone else, but I'm just dithering at this point, so let's get to it.

The biggest reason by far is that the pressure of knowing someone is waiting for me to write the next part is AWFUL. It's petrifying, honestly. I've only ever posted two fics as I wrote them, River Stone on the kinkmeme way back in whenever (like 2013 I think?), and Metamorphose for Thanzag last year (a three-parter with over a year between parts 2 and 3). I tried it again with Metamorphose because I thought, oh, it's been ten years since I last did this, surely I can now handle posting before finishing--NOPE. AWFUL. Every comment looking for the next part was like a little inquisitive set of eyes peering over my shoulder, and any free hobby time I spent doing other things I felt guilty about for months. Plus, I'm not quite satisfied with that last chapter even now, but the pressure of needing to get it done was stronger than my desire to hone. I hate having that pressure compromise my standards, and I won't be doing it again anytime soon. Plus, I get so much joy out of comments when I do it the other way--writing everything first and knowing that pressure to finish is gone--that the tradeoff of no comments during the writing process is beyond worth it to me. That's the selfish aspect of how I post; I want to be able to just marinate in the reactions without the pressure of trying to figure out what comes next. Yeah, this sometimes means I spend a metric ton of time writing stuff that then doesn't get a lot of feedback once I finally start posting. Ah, well, them's the breaks. I'm familiar enough by now with my creative juices that I know the next fic is just around the corner. .

I'm such a constructionist in my fics, heavily leaning on my outlines for the overall structure and framework, that I spend a lot of time after the first completed draft trying to really polish up themes, characterization, and plot from start to finish. On I think almost every major longfic I've ever written, @jadesabre301 has pointed out a serious gaping hole that needed immediate revision (occasionally very major revision) in order to get the fic to the quality I wanted it to be. I can't go back and add early scenes and theme/imagery reinforcement in chapters already posted, and if I want to make the piece as polished as possible, I need that editing freedom and flexibility. (And she needs to be able to see the whole structure of the piece to find those flaws.) Plus, if I don't force myself to write the interstitial or difficult scenes, I could very easily see myself stalling out after hitting the highlight scenes I'm excited about, and then that'd be the end of the progress. I got stuck in one place in Spire for like eight months before Jade pushed me through it, and if I'd been posting concurrently with that writing stall, I think I would have been miserable. .

I have a high tolerance for sitting down and really focusing on one project for hours at a time, and I have a job and lifestyle that allow that every now and then. I don't have kids, I have a career I'm very well established in (giving me some clear work/life boundaries and seasons when I know I'll be busy and when I know I'll have time to be creative), and I structure my free time in those periods in ways where I can write without interruption. I don't really need external impetus or praise to keep me going (in fact, as mentioned, it often makes me feel worse), so having that dedicated time lets me really sink my teeth into my projects, which makes it so much easier to reach my target goals. I also find completing and closing projects immensely personally satisfying, which helps drive that momentum during the more difficult parts of the process. .

It's important to me to finish my projects so that the stories are complete for the readers. Not just because I grew up on abandoned WIPs in the fandoms I cut my teeth on (Sailor Moon, Inuyasha, Harry Potter), either. I remember a particular author in the Inuyasha fandom named Rozefire who wrote what felt like dozens of incredible AUs that I followed religiously for years. However, she never finished more than...memory says a handful of them? And every header at the top of the new fic would talk about how she was still working on the previous one, but after several months I realized that as soon as that new fic went up, the previous one would never see another chapter. I still loved everything she wrote and I still devoured every word, but there were several things I desperately wanted to see completed, and I have so many dusty memories of sifting through those fics for updates every few weeks, pining for any little crumb, haha. I'm able to complete my projects and it's important to me to do so for the sake of any readers, so it's something I make a priority when I write. .

(really 4.5) Not finishing my projects makes me mentally unhappy. It doesn't destroy my mood or anything, but it becomes a persistent itch that poisons all my other hobbies, even if there aren't any comments looking forward to the next chapter. In some ways the ending of that de-aging Fenris/Hawke fic I wrote a million years ago where the story demands a conclusion was a veritable autobiography. There's a reason that of my, uh...63 works on AO3, the only ones not fully completed are the two WIPs I'm currently posting (which are completely written) and the two oneshot/ficlet collections. Those collections have been lifesavers as well in that they are homes for my little orphan ficlets, which also pleases the ruthless organizer part of my brain. I don't like clutter; I don't like tangled wires; I don't like untucked sheets or piles of abandoned craft projects or rooms of untamed chaos. I look at a lot of those cozy little cottagecore aesthetic posts and I honestly just want to straighten everything to right angles and buy them coasters and set up bookshelves so they can clean up the space. I used to organize my parents' VHS collection every summer--we had a spreadsheet with titles and reference numbers that went into the 500s. Finishing fics fits into the same space in my head; when they're finally done I can at last put the lid on the box and put it labelled neatly on the rack with all the rest of the boxes and I can mentally release it from my list of things to think about on the daily. (Which is, incidentally, the main reason I only work on one project at a time; too many open and cluttered boxes = a very unhappy me.)

Anyway! This was a very long answer about a very personal process, and I hope there's some part of it useful to you in some way! <3 At the end of the day, you'll have to decide your posting schedule for yourself based on the things that are important to you. There's no wrong way to do it--it's only whatever makes you happy and keeps you writing! <3<3<3

[lethendralis-paints]

Art Commissions (January 2023 update)

Hello there! I'm open to commissions again and will gladly do illustrations, fan art, character design, portraits etc.

essequamvideri88@gmail.com for any inquiries

(Detailed price list and general guidelines under the cut. )

Basic Guidelines:

Long-time Patreon supporters (over 3 months) have a 10% discount (TIers 1-3) or 15% (tiers 4 & 5) from the base price.

Will draw: human/fantasy/sci-fi characters, animals and environments, realistic or stylised. Subtle NSFW content or moderate gore is up for discussion.

Won’t draw: excessive gore or heavily sexual content. I retain the right to refuse cooperation without explanation if the theme just doesn’t work for me.

Painterly portraits: If you’d like to order a highly detailed portrait like that (the examples are at the end of this long post), let me know! The price for such a piece will be between 300-500$ depending on the complexity (as it’s really time and energy consuming), but the result will be worth it!

I am asking tons of questions and provide consistent communication and updates while working on a commission, so be sure to stay in touch with me throughout the work process and prepare all the needed references and notes beforehand. Keep them brief, as I won’t be able to read pages of text just to find the needed references for the visuals.

PayPal is now available in Ukraine, so I can accept payments through it, as well as Patreon pledges.

I will post the resulting artwork on my social media with a thanks to my client if not asked otherwise.

After confirming all the details of the starting sketch you should proceed with the full payment. After that you’ll receive your commission in high-res within a week. Don’t hesitate to ask for a print-ready TIFF, PSD original file or cropped images for posting online, if you need them!

Additional notes:

Drastic changes to the ongoing work are only allowed while I work on the rough sketch. After moving on to clean line art and colouring if you happen to change your mind about certain aspects of the commission, you can request changes for an additional fee.

! I do not permit using my artwork for commercial purposes, to train AI datasets or selling them as NFTs!

! If it’s an original illustrative work, then as a client you may also use the image for promotion of your writing material on the internet and on printed promotional materials.

The artist is the creator and copyright holder according to the Intellectual property laws of respective countries.

More examples of B&W, flat colour, full colour and painterly portrait works:

Will be extremely grateful if you could reblog this post!

Thank you for your attention! Stay safe!

Much love, Дякую за увагу

Lethendralis

P.S.: if you'd like to see my daily updates, join my Patreon server or follow me on Twitter! (Lots of war updates and political discussions there, fighting disinfo about Ukraine as much as I can amidst the shitposting).

[fadebolt]

Soooo uhhhh, I'm about to go on vacation in two days. Don't worry, I'll still be doing the room analysis posts, and I will still probably post an AF attack or two, I'm mostly just bringing it up cus.... nostalgia. (Yes, I'm about to reminisce on my times in the RW community - I've been trying to keep these kinds of rambly posts to a minimum, but this felt like a pretty good time to go off about this)

Because the first time I discovered Rain World was two years ago, when I was also about to go on vacation very soon, and Htwo's video about the AI of the game caught my eye.

I was like "Wait, really? This looks like one of those old retro games, how the hell can it have a more complex AI, than some of the newer big games that are doing real fancy things with them?", so I just had to investigate, and something about the visuals, and the creatures, and the things described in the video.... it really mesmerized me, and I just had to learn more.

Which I did during vacation, checking out some spoiler free reviews and recommendation videos (as well as official stuff, including the DP scug previews, which sounded real interesting, even from a newcomer's perspective), as well as tons of fanart.

Of course, I did spoil myself a bunch in the process, but it all completely lacked context, so it didn't really mean much. I especially liked a guy called something along the lines of 'FlameFlower' (I'm sort of blanking on it, sry), as they had a real neat art style, and a lot of their comic pages were made traditionally, which impressed me a lot. It was nice and sweet and cute, and I liked the humanoid robot villain who I assumed to be the artist's personal interpretation of what the higher intelligence in this world might be like (yeah, I assumed the concept of an iterator was exclusive to that comic which is real silly, but still xd).

Anyways, I was eager to try out this difficult game filled with weird creatures, where you'll need to be patient and clever, but also skilled and quick witted, which I immediately did, after I traveled home.

I also quickly joined the Discord server, mostly just to view more art, but to my delight, there were a bunch of channels specifically for newbies on their first playthroughs, where I hung out a bunch.

Afterwards, I've mostly just been playing for the next couple months, having a blast while also struggling a little here and there, especially when I got to try Hunter.

I wasn't really doing anything with the community, outside of maybe chiming into a discussion or two. I had ideas, but I sorta lacked motivation. Sharing stuff in Discord gallery chats is not overly fun, as there's rarely any interaction (outside of a few random reacts - a lot of which comes from people that press reacts on literally everything), and the way Discord works makes it very difficult not to start comparing yourself to the other stuff you see, and it really demotivated me, especially cus my skills were waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse back then (which is fair, I barely did art before my RW days, but still, good lord do I hate my older stuff xd).

I also just didn't particularly enjoy the vibes of the server too much. Lurking around the chats and looking at the things other people were doing was fun, but I never felt like it would be worth it to try and be a part of that.

Then you know, the new year rolled around, Downpour came out, the game got traction, and everything was getting crazy.

I was still mostly inactive, until my very first art month came up, and I had some fun with it (my skills still being absolutely horrendous, but at least I still had fun :3).

But then something caught my eye - a certain artist doing 'bombs', drawings where the Slugcat designs of many different artists were present. Yeap - I'm talkin' about Pansear!

I was digging around, and I found out that you can get featured by sending a DM, so I gathered the courage to send over a Saint, which was honestly extremely nerve-wracking. Yet the conversation was really pleasant. She actually complimented my design, which felt incredible, and was extremely appreciative of me congratulating her for getting featured in Akupara's Virtual Art Month Museum.

I know that this might sound like a basic everyday thing for most, but for a person with my levels of social anxiety? This was an enormous leap, one that I'm very grateful to have made.

Afterwards, things have finally started happening. I noticed that Pan and her buddies made a new server where they started hosting voice acting sessions for all the comics in their Shipping Container server. So I leaped on the chance to join in, the moment the invites were reopened again, since I always enjoyed imitating the voices of characters, and the idea of me doing the characters myself sounded incredible, especially when they're from a game I love so much.

And from that point onward, I stopped chatting in, or even looking at the overpopulated 'Main World' server entirely, and all my interactions with the community came from that small new server.

Then last year's vacation arrived, where.... nothing really happened, tbh. I was forced to miss out on the Helm fandub, but I had some fun doing colorless Artificer and Rivulet (aka, the first art pieces I ever posted onto Tumblr) on the beach.

But a few days after I returned, I noticed that North was actually starting a new video series, where she would animate Inv's dating sim, and she was looking for VAs on Tumblr, so I grabbed the opportunity, and made an account, so I could upload my auditions.

Yup, the Thanks Andrew dating sim is the reason why this account exists.

Neat, ain't it?

And initially, I didn't really know what to do with this thing, so I was just reblogging, and uploading art, as well as voiceovers, until...

The shipping polls arrived. And thus, my series of daily poll ramblings have begun. Ramblings that have been happening for almost a year now.

And then... I just sort of, kept doing the things I was doing, y'know. I finally got my wish, to be a part of a community I adore, even if just a minor one.

The vacations weirdly represent huge moments for me, as I found out and fell in love with the game during one, while my Tumblr was created immediately after the one that followed.

It's weird to look back on these last two years, and just how much has changed. Despite the downers that the community has had as of late, this was still a really pleasant journey, getting to have fun with others, and make them happy, while they also make me happy in return.

And I suppose this year's vacation can sort of represent my Artfight being created? That was also a pretty enjoyable experience, though it doesn't quite carry the same weight.

I dunno, not every year needs to be a special one. Though the last two have undoubtedly been that way! :D

[chickateeart]

"So you want to start blogging now...?"

I can hear my inner voice drawl.

Yes. Yes, I guess I do. Maybe?

I don't even remember the last time I wrote a blog post. I mean, sheesh - look at this place. Have you scrolled through it? I have. I've scrolled through it an awful lot the past few months. This space and other places I occupy (or used to, at least) on social media. As a result of having withdrawn completely from everyone online and offline, I've become increasingly critical of the person I chose to show online.. which began to extend to becoming critical of the person I was in real life.

"Is this person that I imagine myself to be or the person I imagine others want to see me be?"

Whoops - digging a little too deep now, so lemme hit the brakes and back it up a little. We will get there eventually (it's a theme I explore in my art and writing a lot, though you wouldn't know it), but how I perceive myself in public spaces isn't the point of this. What I wanted to say was that I've scrolled through this particular little piece of real estate I have here on tumblr and I realized that I never truly made this place my home. I never stopped long enough to slow down and make a nice welcoming space here - I would just drop my art or latest commission pricing and run.

How whack.

This is where I stretch my legs out and loosen up my grip on my carefully curated image, right? We get to talk shop here. I get to explain my art processes and my struggles and my successes and you can sit here and read

every.

single.

word.

and you'll be delighted.

Because why wouldn't you be, if you're here? Unless you're somebody new stumbling on this space, but let's be honest.. the only people here with me on my slice of tumblr are the bots, some rats, and possibly a friend or two if they're still around (hi! <3) - so basically everyone who is probably pretty well acquainted with me. You're likely quite delighted by little ol' me, if I know you as well as I think I do.

This is embarrassing...

Anyway... At this rate, I'm just rambling and getting my thoughts out on "paper". I keep a journal, but it's so much more "I do this for my mental health and I'll crumble if I don't do it" and while that's very important, I also need to nurture my deeply and horribly wounded creative spirit. I'm actually hoping using this tumblr and talking about my art will help give me a little accountability to my goals and make me feel more comfortable about sharing my art again at all.

The past couple of years have been difficult. I struggle to feel in touch with my art - the heart and message behind my creations and the voices that inspire my stories have all been strangled, held beneath muddy waters. Seriously! It's been a strangely desperate journey of rediscovering my voice and reclaiming even a sliver of my self-esteem - a journey that could certainly be told in a lovingly-crafted abstract animated film of some sort, if I were dedicated enough to do such a thing.. but even if I just type it out, one blog post at a time, maybe it's worth the embarrassment of vulnerability to share what's been rattling in this skull for so long.

That's it for tonight, but I hope I'll have a chance to catch you next week (or in a couple of weeks? Work has been utterly exhausting) when I share what I've been up to and vaguely what I'm planning. The loose plan right now is that, with any luck, a friend and I will be sharing a table at a local art fair in a few months. If that does happen, I wanna be ready with some pieces of work that I'm proud of, y'know? So, keep your eyes peeled. I'm looking forward to telling you all about it, okay? :)

♡Tee

P.S. I'm tagging these as "hey chickatee" because idk I think it's cute. Like you're saying "hello" to me by looking up the tag to catch the latest long-winded post by Yours Truly.