#Abattoir Blues
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emperorofthedark · 3 months ago
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Do you see what I see, dear? The air grows heavy I listen to your breath Entwined together in this culture of death Do you see what I see, dear?
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jt1674 · 1 year ago
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fallimentiquotidiani · 2 years ago
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Through the windswept coastal trees
Where the dead come rising from the sea
With a teddy-bear clamped between her knees
She says, where can my loverman be?
Well, I'm down here, babe, with the Eskimos
With the polar bears and the Arctic snow
With a party of penguins who do not know
How I can get back to thee
Well I'm gonna ask you, babe
Hey! Ho!
Oh baby don't you go
Hey! Ho!
Oh no no no
Hey! Ho!
Oh baby, don't you go
All supernatural on me
Supernaturally
Once I was your hearts desire
Now I am the ape hunkered by the fire
With my knuckles dragging through the mire
You float by so majestically
You're my north, my south, my east, my west
Well you are the girl that I love best
With an army of tanks bursting from your chest
I wave my little white flag at thee
Well can you see it, babe?
Hey! Ho!
Oh baby don't you go
Hey! Ho!
Oh no no no
Hey! Ho!
Oh baby, don't you go
All supernatural on me
Supernaturally
Now I've turned the mirrors to wall
And I've emptied out the peopled halls
And I've nailed shut the windows and locked the doors
There is no escape, you see
And I chase you up and down the stairs
Well, under tables and over chairs
Well I reach out and I touch your hair
And it cuts me like a knife
For there is always some little thing you gotta do
Hey! Ho!
Oh baby don't go
Hey! Ho!
Well baby, no no no
Hey! Ho!
Oh don't you go
All supernatural on me
Supernaturally
Hey! Ho!
Hey! Ho!
Hey! Ho!
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elsotemo · 1 year ago
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Abattoir Blues / The Lyre of Orpheus
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amityvilleplanet · 8 days ago
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the-hairsprayqueen · 4 months ago
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sail-away-to-space · 1 year ago
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Do you see what I see, dear?
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theseimmortalsouls · 5 months ago
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always intrigued by nick cave album rankings - while i do not see it possible for myself to rank them, due to my love for them, i somehow still find myself disagreeing with everyone else's rankings
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thephilosopherspupil · 2 years ago
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how am i doing? well, i am currently working my way through nick cave's entire discography chronologically and i'm up to tender prey (1988).
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martitheevans · 1 year ago
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It's just me and Nick Cave And The Bad Seed's discography against the world
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stromuprisahat · 1 year ago
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https://youtu.be/ngkvCkjTToM
https://www.nickcave.com/lyric/cannibals-hymn-2/
For all those Hannibal x Will feels.
Cannibal's Hymn by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
I can see that they’ve hurt you, dear
Here is some moonlight to cloak us
And I will never desert you here
Unpetaled among the crocus
Allow me, my love, to allay your fear
As I swim, in and out of focus
But if you’re gonna dine with the cannibals
Sooner or later, darling, you’re gonna get eaten
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virtualmartin · 2 years ago
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friendship ended with nick cave blog title now florist blog title is my best friend
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mischievouslittlecreature · 3 months ago
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Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir
Summary: The vendetta may be over, but peace is still but a distant dream for both of them. 
Word Count: 5,769
Warnings: Chronic pain, smut, and pregnancy.
Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter
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Chapter 28: Scarlet Fog
She sat huddled in a corner, watching the celebrations occurring around her as distantly as if she was looking in through the window. She supposed, in a way, that she might as well have been. No one had really paid her any attention throughout the entire gathering.
They were all assembled in one of the big sitting rooms in Arrow House, drinking and chatting and laughing. Lucy watched Tommy where he was perched on the arm of a couch and talking to Lizzie, feeling her heart squeeze painfully, quickly looking away. 
She would have to get used to that: seeing them together. Side by side as their own little unit while she was pushed aside.  
At least Tommy finally seemed happy again.
How horrible did it make her, that she found herself half longing for the time when it had just been her, him, and Charlie?
Of course she did not want Tommy to be miserable. Of course she did not want him and his family to be estranged. Things were better this way, of course they were. She could take it; feeling like she was an outsider encroaching where she was not wanted. Like she was not as valued. Not loved. She’d done it before, prior to the schism between him and the rest of the Shelbys. She could do it again. 
At her feet, as if sensing her thoughts, Shadow whined, raising his head. She gave him a tiny smile, reaching out to scratch him behind the ear. His tail thumped against the rug, looking up at her as if to say, I still love you, Mommy.
He’d been glued to her side since they came home, protective on account of her still healing injuries. She was grateful for his presence and companionship. Being alone had gotten a lot harder than it had been previously. 
She supposed she would have to get used to it just being her and the animals for stretches of time. Moments spent alone with Tommy would get even rarer after Lizzie’s baby arrived. Lucy couldn’t help but wonder if she would see much of him at all. 
She sat up a little when the room quieted so that Tommy and Arthur could each make toasts. At Tommy’s comment of being in a happier place, paired with a quick glance towards Lizzie, she swallowed painfully, trying hard not to read too much into the look, and failing miserably. 
Surely it had to be coming soon. The inevitable. When Tommy sat her down and gently told her to pack her things. That he could no longer be with her. Because he loved someone else. And that someone else had demanded he chose between them. And of course he was going to choose the one he was already having a baby with. Who was loved by his family. Who wasn’t broken beyond repair. Who he could actually have a chance at a happy future with. 
As if sensing her thoughts, Shadow nudged at her knee with his nose, trying to draw her attention away from the ache in her heart. With stilted movements, she reached down to stroke his soft black fur. 
Next was Arthur’s toast. A dreaded look crossed Tommy’s face at his brother’s insistence that he take a holiday. The expression only deepened when Arthur raised his glass to peace. Lucy wondered if Tommy was thinking the exact same thing that she was: there would be no peace for them. Not now; not ever. Not with the things that lived eternally inside their heads. 
Once the toasts were done, everyone began slowly making their way towards the doors leading into the dining room. Lucy made no move to follow them, just shrinking tighter in on herself in her little corner whenever someone wandered past her. 
“Lucy?”
At the sound of Tommy’s voice, closer to her than she’d expected–she had figured he’d just head straight into the dining room with Lizzie–she looked up. Those blue eyes of his were fixed on her questioningly, shuffling a little closer to her while everyone else drew further away towards the other room. Tommy cocked his head. 
“Are you coming?”
Drawing in a shaky breath, she shook her head. Fingers still carding mindlessly through Shadow's fur, trying to focus on the soft pelt to keep herself grounded. “I’m not hungry.”
Tommy sank down into the vacant spot next to her on the couch. “Are you in pain?”
“No. I’m just tired.” Only half the truth. Her cuts and shoulders were starting to ache a little.
He frowned, one hand moving to rest on the cushions behind her back. “You’ve barely eaten since we got back, sweetheart.” When she didn’t say anything, he scooted closer to her. “You need to eat.”
“I’m fine.” Eager to change the topic, she swirled the remainder of whiskey in her glass before downing it, mind fishing for something else to talk about. “What did Lizzie have to say?”
“Nothing all that interesting. Just some things about a few renovations that she wants to make to her house.” She could feel Tommy’s worried eyes still fixed intently on her. 
“This’ll be the first holiday you’ve taken in awhile. What do you think you’ll do?”
“I don’t know.”
Her gaze drew back to Lizzie where she was standing by the doorway, smiling and chatting animatedly with Polly. She’d been nicer to her since the kidnapping, but Lucy couldn’t help but feel a constant level of tension when around her, waiting at any moment for her to have said or done the wrong thing that would cause Lizzie to snap at her. “You should use it to spend time with her. Could even move into her house for a little while.” She looked down at her empty glass, in desperate need of a refill. “Be there for all the big moments in the pregnancy and everything.”
“And leave you here all alone?” Tommy asked. The worry she’d sensed in his gaze had leaked into his voice.
“I’d survive.” A lie, she was pretty sure, but he didn’t need to be burdened with that. 
“You’re still healing.”
“I’m not an invalid.”
“I know, but…I don’t want to leave you by yourself. If I have to take a bloody holiday, I’d rather spend it with you.”
Sighing, she kept her gaze glued to the floor until Tommy’s hand forced her head up, his icy blue eyes boring into hers, trying to read her mind. 
“I am not leaving you alone.”
“But you should–”
“Fuck what I should do!” His throat flexed, eyes darting towards the doorway to make sure no one had heard him. Drawing in a deep breath to steady himself, he looked at her, jaw set in that stubborn way she knew meant she’d have better luck picking up an entire mountain than getting him to change his mind. “I’m not leaving your side. End of discussion.”
Shaky sigh leaving her lips, Lucy nodded defeatedly. The back of Tommy’s hand stroked over her cheek. The rest of the family had wandered out the doorway, leaving them alone. 
“Please come to dinner.”
“No one wants me there anyway–”
“I do.”
For some reason, that made her feel like she was about to cry, leaning closer to his side unconsciously. When his fingers ran delicately through her hair, she closed her eyes. “Promise me you aren’t just saying that because you feel sorry for me.”
His fingers tightened a fraction where they’d come to rest on her shoulder. “I promise.” He turned her face to look at him. “I swear it on my mother’s grave. I want you with me always. Eh? Every second of every day.”
She closed her eyes, leaning into him, letting the words soothe her and abate the raging insecurities inside her. Even if only for a moment. 
“Come on,” his lips moved against the top of her head as he kissed her forehead. “Please don’t make me face them all alone.” His chin shifted against her head, cheek laying against her hair. She huffed out a tired, breathless laugh against his chest. 
“Alright. Since you asked so nicely.” 
He took hold of both her hands with a small smile, helping her to her feet and entwining their fingers as they began to follow the route that the rest of the family had taken out of the sitting room and into the dining area. Shadow padded along beside them, his ears twitching every once in a while as he remained watchful and protective in demeanor. 
Tommy helped her into her seat next to him at the table, his ankle hooking around hers, the toe of his shoe every once in a while rubbing up and down along her shin whenever she started to get anxious.
Once the meal was over and everyone retired into the drawing room, she wound up seated on a couch with Tommy’s arm around her, her head resting lazily on his shoulder, trying not to doze off despite how tired she was. Lizzie eventually approached them timidly with a deck of cards, shyly proposing that they all play, and soon enough they had a lively game going amongst themselves and several family members. 
For a little while, she thought that things might actually get better. 
∗ ∗ ∗
Lucy quietly lamented the fact that she’d probably be picking little granules out of her socks on the drive back home as her boots sank into the sand. Overheard a seagull squawked, riding the cool wind that rushed over the beach. Waves roiled and crashed against the shore, lapping across the sand until they almost kissed the toe of her shoes. The sand where they were standing was damp, hardened over with moisture more so than the soft, dry mounds they’d had to traverse to approach the figure already standing on the otherwise abandoned beach when they arrived.
He was just looking out over the expanse of the waves, a huge bullmastiff seated next to him, his lead clutched in Alfie’s hand.
Lucy stared at her friend, confliction weighing heavily inside her. Despite everything, she still considered Alfie an important figure in her life. He’d helped to save her, a long, long time ago. And his position as an ally to the gang had brought with it significant advantages. But perhaps most importantly, she liked him. He was fun, and deep down she really did believe that he cared for her and Tommy. 
Just not enough to stop him from betraying them when the price was right. 
“Alfie, did you know that they took me?” she asked, voice hoarse. The salty wind whipped at strands of her hair, leaving them to dance around her face. Alfie, who until that moment had hardly turned his head to look at them, finally glanced over at her. 
“No, treacle, I didn’t know they took ya. If I did, I…” his eyes moved to the bandages that poked out from under the hem of her shirt. “That wouldn’t have happened.” He said, looking at her regretfully before turning back to stare at the rolling waves. Lucy swallowed painfully at the truth in his voice, a little of the weight lifting from her shoulders at knowing that her friend had, at the very least, not been involved in the horrors that had been enacted upon her. 
He and Tommy talked for a while more. Well, Alfie talked, Tommy mostly just listened, and then Tommy pulled out his gun from inside his coat. Lucy turned away, face contracting, unable to watch. 
The pieces fell into place at Alfie's revelation of his cancer diagnosis. So he’d wanted them to kill him, then. Or maybe he was just saying it so they wouldn’t feel so bad after it was done.   
She was still angled away from Alfie when he turned sharply on Tommy with his own gun, so she had no warning when a bullet suddenly skimmed across Tommy’s side. Tommy pulled the trigger of his own weapon on instinct, and a sizable chunk of Alfie’s face was blown off. Both men collapsed backwards onto the sand. 
“Tommy!” Lucy lurched towards him, ignoring the way that the sudden movement pulled on her stitches. Her knees hit the sand, trousers growing damp from the moisture as she knelt at Tommy’s side, hands hovering over his torso. He groaned softly, legs kicking in the sand, damp granules sticking to the side he’d fallen on. 
“I’m alright,” he mumbled, hand going to his side. Blood stained his palm when he drew it away. “I’m alright, it just grazed me.”
Lucy glanced over her shoulder at where Alfie laid on his back, unmoving. Cyril was whining softly in distress, nosing at Alfie’s face. 
“I think he’s dead,” she said softly, not wanting to go over and actually check. Tommy swiped a hand down his face, gripping her hand to let her help pull him from the ground. She eyed his side worriedly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
He drew his coat in tighter around himself, suddenly looking very small and fragile. “I’m fine,” but his voice was anything but, rough and rasping in his throat. He took one look at Alfie’s body and cringed away, arms squeezing tighter around himself. Lucy watched as his head bowed, sorrow etching onto his features. For a second she thought that he was going to cry. “Come on.” With a jerk of his head, he gestured for them to head back towards where they’d parked the car. 
Shuffling to follow him, she curled close to his side, the pair of them beginning to slow trek off of the beach. The lump in her throat kept building every time she looked back at the figure splayed out in the sand. A few sniffles left her, and she hastily wiped her nose on her sleeve.  
“He fired to force you to shoot him,” she noted quietly as they walked. With how close they’d been, there was no way that Alfie would have missed his shot like that if he’d actually wanted to cause Tommy legitimate harm. 
“Yes.”
She tightened her arms around his bicep, cheek squishing against the soft material of his coat as she sought refuge from the chilly air against him.  
They got about halfway down the beach before they both stopped at the same time. 
“We have to go back for the fucking dog.” Tommy heaved. 
“We should take the dog,” Lucy spoke at the same time. They shared a look, then a small nod of agreement, and turned around to gather up Cyril’s lead and wrangle him with them towards the car.  
∗ ∗ ∗
Three months passed. 
Lucy healed slowly, the scabs of her injuries scarring over into rough, pale bumps on her otherwise smooth skin.
Tommy knew that she was horribly self conscious of them. Really, he was pretty sure that she thought them far worse than they actually were. She was still beautiful to him, even if the sight of the criss-crossed marks all over her back triggered sorrow and guilt to wash over him at the reminder of the pain she’d gone through.  
Slowly, she was able to do more. The stitches were removed and the bandages came off. Her shoulders were still giving her trouble, but according to the doctor, that would always be the case. He tried his best to help her, giving her massages and bringing her ice packs on the days that the pain was particularly bad. Applying salves that Polly sent over to help relax and soothe the muscles. By all accounts, she was considered healed. At least physically. 
And yet she was worrying him. Hell, he was worrying him. 
Golf. Fishing. Both were things he’d heard that other men liked to do on holiday, but he only got to the sixth hole at the golf course before throwing his club across the green field, not out of frustration, but from sheer boredom. The entire game was so…useless. Lucy had raised her eyebrows at him from where she was leaning against the little green plaque that displayed the hole number. 
“You know you’re supposed to hit the ball with the club, right?” she’d asked. Tommy shook his head, yanking out a few notes to pass to the caddy carrying his clubs. 
“We’re going home,” he mumbled, draping his arm around her as they started the walk to the car. “This is ridiculous.”
Fishing hadn’t fared much better. They’d been sitting by the bank, Lucy leaning into his side, eyes staring numbly out at the pond. For a second, the world was quiet and peaceful. 
But the silence only made things worse. There was no sound to drown out the noises in his head. The horses and gunshots; the screams of men dying around him. 
An explosion suddenly boomed around them, and he dove to the ground, taking Lucy with him as he sent them both crashing half into the pond in an attempt to use the bank as a source of cover against enemy fire. One of his hands curled over his head while his body pressed hers to the ground, attempting to shield her from the perceived danger. It wasn’t until more sounds–gunshots, not explosions like he’d originally thought–and the barking of hounds, erupted nearby that he realized it was simply a hunting party passing by, and not the war returned with the intention of swallowing him whole. 
“Tommy?” Lucy asked, voice quiet. She had grabbed onto the front of his shirt in surprise, her eyes wide. 
“Shit.” He leaned off of her, water sloshing around his legs, damp grass and dirt clinging to his arms where he’d rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. “Sorry.” He couldn’t quite meet her gaze, embarrassment burning its way across his cheeks.
“It’s okay.” She made no move to pull away, despite now standing nearly up to her waist in water thanks to him. Her head cocked a little when he flinched at another echoing crack of gunfire from the hunters. But she didn’t say anything, just reached out to flatten her palm on his chest. “Sweetheart?”
He finally snapped his head around to look at her. Fear suddenly seized at him as he processed how he’d practically grabbed and thrown her into the pond with him. “Fuck, did I hurt you?”
“What? No,” she shook her head. “I mean…my socks are wet now, but other than that, I’m fine.”
He’d helped her up out of the water, and quickly gathered together the fishing gear so they could head home. The fish weren’t biting anyway, and he didn’t want her sitting around in wet socks and trousers and catching a cold.  
They arrived home to find dinner ready for them at the table after they’d changed into dry clothes. Not that either of them touched most of it.  
Lucy had gotten almost as bad as him about eating. Where she once almost always cleaned her plate, she now often left it three fourths of the way full before pushing it away. And that was on the days that he was able to convince her to eat at all. Her body weight had dive bombed. She was even smaller than usual; so skinny it scared him a little. 
He could feel Frances watching them worriedly from the doorway, hands clasped together, lips set in a firm frown that only deepened when they both rose from the table and went into the drawing room to finish off their evening with two large bottles of whiskey and gin shared between them. 
They’d both been drinking more. And his stash of opium for the pipe that they sometimes shared, usually enough to last nearly half the year, was already almost depleted. Most nights one or both of them woke up screaming. He’d lost count of how many times he’d cradled her in his arms, rocking her gently against his chest, stroking her hair until she finally calmed enough to fall back into a fitful slumber. 
She’d draw him into bed to make love, only to push him away a few moments later, sobbing and burying her face in her hands. The phone would ring, but they never answered it. Even during the middle of the day, they kept the curtains drawn, the lights dimmed. Everything was easier in the dark.
They drank, and cried, and held each other, and drank some more. The cycle repeating over and over. He knew that they were both spiraling downwards into a deep dark well. But he did not know how to pull them out of it. 
Ultimately, it was not really him who gave the push for something to be done about things. It was Charlie. 
He was sprawled out on the floor, so drunk he was almost going cross eyed. Glass, from the objects he’d knocked to the floor during his tumble, had sliced into his palms, blood running in thin rivers down his hands. Lucy was kneeling beside him, reaching out to try to get a look at where he’d cut himself. Despite her movements being as uncoordinated as his thanks to her equally drunken state. Her makeup was a smudged mess around her eyes, black smears trailing down her cheeks from when she’d been crying earlier. 
The door creaked open, and Charlie peeked his little head in, and their eyes met. A look, not of sorrow or confusion, but complete, all encompassing disappointment crossed his little boy’s features as he took in the image sprawled out before him. Tommy swore that there was a hint of contempt in there as well.
“Charlie,” he choked out, trying–and failing–to scramble to his feet. Lucy’s head snapped around to fix on the boy, who was quickly ushered out by one of the maids. The door closed between them with a sharp, final click. 
Tommy managed to finally heave himself to his feat, injured arms crossed around his middle. Shame, hot and violent, bowled into him, and he folded at the waist, face collapsing in on itself as tears rushed into his eyes and began to stream down his cheeks. 
Never, never had he wanted Charlie to see them like this. But now he had, and that was something that would never be able to be undone. 
“Tommy,” Lucy pulled him into her arms, letting him bury himself in her chest while he mentally collapsed almost entirely on himself. Her fingers petted at the nape of his neck and down his back, trying to soothe him as he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed against her. 
The next day, he called Polly.  
∗ ∗ ∗
Lucy retreated to bed when Polly came over in the evening, mumbling something about being tired. Tommy didn’t try to stop her. She still felt so fragile, he was worried that if Polly took any of her usual swipes at her, it would cause her to only crumble further in on herself. So he’d just sent her off with a gentle kiss and a promise that he’d join her as soon as he could, watching to make sure that Shadow followed her as she climbed the stairs.  
“Lizzie wants to see you,” Polly informed him not long after they sat down. Tommy’s stomach roiled with nausea, quickly looking away. 
“No.”
“Tom, she’s showing,” Polly tried again, but that just made the sick feeling in his stomach surge. The mental image of Lizzie’s belly protruding as his baby grew inside her elicited nothing in him but dread. The idea of having another child was completely overwhelming, and he was often struck with constant worry at how it would affect Lucy once the baby finally came and he would have no choice but to spend more time with Lizzie.  
He’d spent an awful lot of energy these past few months actively not thinking about Lizzie and the baby that would arrive in but a few short months' time. But Lucy…he had a feeling that Lucy spent far too much time thinking about them. She’d said some things, whispered mumbles while she was drunk, that made little sense to him. Things about how he should leave her. That she was bringing him nothing but unhappiness. How he could be happy with Lizzie if he just gave her a chance. He didn’t know if she was aware of the things she was saying, or if she even remembered uttering them after she’d sobered up. No matter how much he tried to soothe or contradict her statements, she always circled back to them. It was like an infection that was not actually getting cured, the symptoms only battered back for a little while by his reassurances before flaring up once again. He did not know how to entirely eradicate the insecurities brewing inside her.
“I don’t want to see Lizzie, Pol.” He looked down, ashamed at the words despite their truthfulness. He felt her looking him over, examining his reaction carefully. Ultimately realizing that now was not a good time to push the subject any further. 
“How’s Lucy?”
That got him to look up, brow lifting. “Since when do you care?”
Polly shifted awkwardly in her seat, it being her turn to look away. Tommy frowned, the almost apologetic look on Polly’s face uncharacteristic, especially when it came to anything involving Lucy. 
“Pol?”
 “Aberama says that I’ve been too hard on her,” Polly sighed. Tommy blinked, too stunned to speak for a moment. 
“You been talking with Aberama a lot lately?” he finally asked. Polly shrugged, squirming in place, clearly uncomfortable, looking for a way to dodge the question.
“How is she?” 
He wetted his lips, fingers twitching around his cigarette. “Not good.”
“Francis said that she isn’t eating.”
“I can count her ribs with my hands when I hold her.” He mumbled, glancing at the drawn curtains that hide the outside world from view. 
“After what Luca did to her, I can’t say that I’m surprised that she’s broken down. Took you right down along with her.”
He bristled. “It’s not her fault–”
“That’s not what I mean,” Polly shook her head. “What I mean is that, if she hadn’t fallen into the dark abyss, she would have been able to keep you from spiraling as well. Like she has before. You’re right. It’s not her fault. It was just shit timing, is all.”
“I don’t know how to pull her out of it, Pol.”
Polly fiddled with her fingers. “I think it’s time you both came back to work. Rattling around idly in here is clearly helping no one. Having something to focus your minds on will help.”
He nodded slowly, heaving out a breath. Polly stayed to talk for a little while longer, offering a few more sage words of advice before gathering up her things and leaving. After she was gone, Tommy spent a long stretch of time sitting and staring at nothing, the cogs in his head starting to slowly spin. 
Jamming his cigarette into the ashtray, he stood, making his way to the stairs and towards the bedroom that he shared with Lucy. 
She was already curled up under the covers, on her side with her hands pressed flat onto the pillow and her cheek resting atop them. Shadow was laying in his dog bed in the corner, his big head on his paws, eyes watching them worriedly. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Tommy reached out a hand to rub across Lucy’s forearm. Her eyes opened slowly, head cocking against the pillows.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he moved his hand to stroke her face.
“How did it go?”
“Fine. She thinks we ought to go back to work.”
“Mm,” Lucy sat up slightly. “Probably not the worst idea.” 
“Mhm,” he moved his hand to play with her fingers, tracing the places where she’d picked a layer of skin away while nervously fidgeting. The nervous habit had thankfully mostly ceased since they’d gotten her a replacement set of rings for the ones Luca had taken from her. It was not until Tommy had first noticed the little scabs on her fingers that he realized the importance of her having something physical to busy her hands with. Otherwise she started picking at herself.
“You’re scaring me, love,” he said, doing his best to keep his tone gentle and non-accusatory. And yet still Lucy’s lower lip started to tremble, tears filling her eyes. 
“I know,” she whispered. “I know; I’m sorry. I…” her chest rose and fell deeply with her breaths. “I don’t know how to make it stop.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault,” his fingers curled loosely around her wrist. “We’ve both fallen apart these past few months.” He looked at her regretfully. “I’ve done a shit job at taking care of you.”
Lucy frowned, sitting up fully, reaching out to cup the side of his face. “That’s not true. You’ve kept me alive.”
“I think that’s the very definition of the bare minimum, love.”
She shook her head. “With where my mind has been at sometimes, Tommy, it’s no small thing that you’ve managed.”
He let her words sink in, both hands raising to take her face between his palms. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She gave him a weak, not wholly convinced smile, and he kissed her insistently. 
“I mean it. I love you.” Forehead laying on hers, he breathed in the scent of rose perfume that lingered on her skin. “We’ll get through this.”
“I love you too,” she whispered, angling her head up to kiss him again. Tommy trailed his hands carefully down her body, skimming them along the curves of her breasts, lowering to loosely hold her waist.
They’d had sex since the doctor deemed her fully healed. But he still felt the need to handle her as gently as possible; too worried about accidentally hurting her. The first time, he’d spent over an hour worshiping her body, placing kisses to each and every one of her scars, taking his time to make it clear that he still found her as heart-stopping beautiful as he did the first day that he saw her.  
He took the same care now, delicately undoing the ties on her nightgown and sliding it off of her shoulders, lips pressing into her soft skin, following the raised lines of her scars. A groan left his throat when her fingertips sank into his hair, massaging his scalp when he dropped his head to take one of her nipples into his mouth.
That grip on his hair only tightened deliciously as he advanced lower, laying her down on the bed and spreading her legs so that he could lay between them, nosing at her cunt, breathing in her delectable scent before leaning forward to swipe his tongue across her clit. 
Her sounds were so pretty as he ate her out, the hand in his hair helping to steer him to where she needed him most. Watching her through his lashes, Tommy had to stifle a smirk at the way her head fell back against the pillows when he sank a finger into her, crooking it so he was rubbing right up against the spot that made her moans go up a pitch. 
When she came on his mouth, he grabbed greedily at her thighs, lips parting in an attempt to drink her all in, begging for everything she had to offer him. 
“Fuck, come here,” she half pleaded when he raised up on his arms above her, reaching out to drag him closer, slotting their mouths together with her release still clinging to his lips. Her hands pulled at his clothes, his own moving eagerly to help her to remove them, covering her body with his once he was bare. 
“Ready?” he asked, hand wrapping loosely around his engorged cock, giving himself a few pumps before lining up. 
“Yes. Yes,” she chanted, arms winding around his neck. He entered her slowly, watching her face carefully for any sign of discomfort while he pushed forward. The warm embrace of her cunt remained to be like nothing else he’d ever experienced before, her walls hugging around him, so tight and perfect there was to be no doubt that they’d been made for each other. 
The combined sounds of their pleasure echoed throughout the room as they started to move. Lucy’s head tipped forward, burying in his neck, her soft lips brushing against the sensitive skin. His eyes rolled in his head everytime she squeezed around him, and he slipped an arm under her to rest between her shoulder blades while he rocked into her steadily. He kept his thrusts at an even, gentle pace, taking care to go slow with her. She knew that she could stop him at any time if she needed, and no matter how lost he may have been in his own pleasure, he always took care to be mindful of her reactions to his movements, on alert for any indications of pain, discomfort, or fear. 
“Tommy–” her nails scratched at his shoulder, not enough to break the skin, but just enough to sting. His hissed at the contact, the idea of being marked by her sending a thrill through him that had his cock twitching inside her. 
“Just like that,” she whispered when his tip brushed against her g-spot. “Just like that; don’t stop.”
He grunted deeply, doing as instructed, feeling a surge in his balls as his own release drew nearer. Slotting a hand between them, he started to work on her clit again, rubbing it in small circles carefully timed with his deep thrusts. Her walls squeezed around him, even tighter than before, and he had to grit his teeth and focus hard to keep from coming prematurely.
With a cry and a tightening of her legs around his waist, Lucy came, a hand at the back of his head guiding him in for another kiss while she squeezed and gushed around his sensitive cock. Tommy moaned into her mouth, following her right over the cliff, stilling as he came deeply into her. His mouth continued to work, kissing her slowly and sensually as they rode out their climaxes and steadily started to come down.        
After, when they were laying together in the dark, Lucy in his arms with her head on his chest and her fingers tracing the lines of the tattoo of her name that he had emblazoned on his forearm, he began to tell her of the new plan that had started to take shape within his mind. 
“Lucy, do you remember when you asked me if I’d ever thought about entering politics?”
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klausysworld · 2 years ago
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Can you do another sunshine X grumpy trope but the reader is the sunshine and Klaus is the grumpy one? I read your other one and thought it was awesome!!
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Your soul is golden
It was unbelievably amusing watching Klaus be dragged around by someone who closely replicated a ball of sunshine.
She was always with him, skipping about while holding his hand and bringing him wherever she went
“come on Nik, there's an icecream shop down the street“ she would cheer while pulling a groaning Klaus out of the abattoir while his siblings hid their smirks and Marcel snickers in the corner.
Klaus would claim he found it annoying from time to time but everyone knew how he loved it. Having someone to bright always loving him no matter what. Someone to turn his horrible day into something fun and worth while.
“Love it’s not been a great day, just go away and come back tomorrow” he grumbled with his face in his pillow
“We don’t have to go out…we can just stay here” she compromised and lead down next to him, running her fingers through his soft hair. She worried for him often, his smile was so rarely on his face and she had never gotten him to properly laugh. His eyes held such sadness, hopelessness and anger. Of course when she looked deeper she could find those rays of happiness, love and his dreams but they were so buried by his fears and vengeance.
She spent most of her time trying to lure and coax who he once was forward. Not that she didn't love him the way he was, she adored him and the way his lips pouted as she frowned. How his eyes would roll whenever someone said something a little too joyful for his liking, when he would growl in annoyance and his eyes would glow golden.
She loved his eyes, blue to gold and back again. How they would become darker when lustful and lighter when she entered the room.
Often he was shameful of his hybrid face. She was so sweet and bubbly, she didn't deserve the monster he was known to be. But then she would have his face in her hands and he couldn't help but lean into her touch. She would give him such a gentle smile
“Nik, your soul is golden, your eyes prove that to me.“ she would tell him as many times as he needed to hear it because she meant it and he slowly began to believe it.
And so seeing him so down once again was disheartening. But she wouldn't let him be alone. He begrudgely turned onto his side to face her, bags hung from his broken eyes. Her thumb stroked over them as she gave him a sad smile
“what happened?“ she whispered
“nothing you should worry about“ he muttered
“I'll always worry for you“ she said with a frown making his heart ache. How he hated when he made her frown, her smile was a gift he knew he never deserved but he had it and it pained him when it left him.
“you mustn't be sad sweetheart, come, we'll go on a walk, aren't you hungry? We can get dinner“ he quickly offered lifting her up and getting off the bed. He was grumpy and moody yes but he never wished that on her. So when she grabbed his hand with watery eyes he felt his heart breaking. Sometimes her light began to burn out, but he would always be their to keep it bright when she needed him to.
His arms circled her gently and held her to him
“I'm sorry“ he whispered and she hid her face in his shirt
“i love you“ she uttered as her hands clutched his sleeve
“i love you too, my little ray of sunshine“ he murmured with a kiss to her head
“what if i didn't shine anymore?“ she asked quietly and he squeezed her lightly
“then i would have to shine for the both of us“ he said pulling back to give her one of those uncommon smiles that instantly brought one to her face
“because your soul is golden“ she whispered and he practically beamed at her
“And if what you say is true then yours is made of the worlds most rarest diamond“ he told her watching her eyes lower to the ground as she blushed. His hand brought her face to his as he pressed his lips to her softly, she smiled into the kiss and her light burned brighter
“Can we still go out for dinner?” She asked and he let out a little laugh
“Of course we can, where would you like to go?” He hummed with his arms now around her waist swaying then both gently
“You pick this time, i chose to get ice cream the other day..i know you don’t really-“
“No love believe me it was the best ice cream i have every experienced, perhaps something just a little more romantic this time?”
“Will we be able to watch the sunset?” She questioned
“I’ll get us a window table” he promised still smiling
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louisegluckpdf · 2 months ago
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bro did you seriously just talk during abattoir blues / the lyre of orpheus (2004) by nick cave & the bad seeds
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definitelynotstable · 1 year ago
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Camomile pt. 5 [Ghost x gn!Reader]
pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6, pt. 7, pt. 8, pt. 9, pt. 10
AN: for those who care - my essay is half done and hours overdue <3 Anyway ...here have some angst x
Synopsis: You are captured during a mission and tortured. A certain lieutenant is the only thing on your mind as you struggle at the hands of your captors. Word count: 794 Warnings: Canon typical violence, graphic torture, non-consensual touch, blood etc. Some shit might not be canon compliant. Ghost x gn!Reader: Angsty as fuckkkk. Lots of hurt and little comfort (yet).
* ˚ ✦
There wouldn’t be tea for you tonight. The camomile teabags you kept in the spare pocket of your tactical vest had been ripped out and strewn across the concrete floor of the warehouse. Amongst other things, of course, but standard issue military gear was less important to you. The tea reminded you of warmth, comfort, safety and him. 
The tea reminded you of him. 
It was him you thought of as they strung you up like a carcass in an abattoir. It was him you thought of as they held you under that freezing water. His eyes you saw when you closed your eyes, the cobalt blue fading each time you were shocked awake. 
Your family would be ok without you. They’d done it for years. But him. Who would look after him? Soap and Gas would. Price too. But they drank coffee, not tea. Who would be there in the early hours of the morning when he stumbled into the kitchen in an insomnia filled haze? Who would buy him camomile and restock the tin on his shelf when he forgot? 
You’ve stopped flinching when the door slams; stopped tugging at the restraints. When a tattooed hand wraps around the hair at the nape of your neck and pulls you don’t struggle. 
Grey eyes rake over your body, a cigarette hangs from his mouth. Makarov. 
It’s taken the task force months and months to even gather a wisp of information on the man in front of you. And here he is; so close his breath fans across your face. The fresh cuts and welts sting is a cloud of cigarette smoke is blown ion your direction.
“Ah, дорогая,” He lets out a harsh laugh as you cough, “look at you.”
You fix your eyes on the wall over his shoulder. His hand clamps around your jaw, forcing your gaze to meet his. 
“So defiant,” he whispers, nose millimetres away from yours. Spittle hits your cheek; your skin crawls. 
He lets go, a brief moment of respite before stars flash and pain blooms across your cheek. His rings catching chunks of your skin as he backhands you across the face. He scoffs as you swing limply from your chains, head hanging low with your chin to your chest.
“You know,” he walks slowly around you, cigarette dangling from his fingers as he speaks, “I don’t think you’re going to talk. Are you дорогая?”
Your heavy lidded gaze remains on the concrete floor. 
“Ready to die for the cause are you?” The cool barrel of a handgun comes to rest against your forehead. “This is your last chance. Talk.”
A beat. The safety clicks.
“Talk!”
You shut your eyes. Metal crunches. The trigger is pulled with a clack. 
Your eyes flutter open, confused. Makarov grins back at you.
“You might not talk, дорогая,” his hand snakes back up to your jaw, gentle this time. A caress, “but you can send a message.”
His hand trails down your chest, cigarette still between his middle and index fingers. He stops over your heart, pressing the butt to your skin. His eyes never leave yours. Watching as your eyes water against your will; as your jaw pops, clenching to hold back a scream. The smell of burnt flesh wafts up. You gag.
He draws away. Tossing the shrivelled butt to the ground. He doesn’t stomp on it, he doesn’t need to. The last embers still burn your skin. 
˚ ✦
It takes you hours to notice the guards haven’t returned. It doesn’t matter anyway. You are too weak to move. He’s left you for dead. 
You’ve fallen into delirium. There’s no point in resisting it now. The wisps and figures that dance around you are a welcome distraction from the remnants of Makarov’s torture. He’s there again. Cobalt eyes and pale hair. Wouldn’t it be nice if he was here? Maybe he’d pick up your camomile from the ground, dust it off and tuck it into his own vest.  Or maybe he’d take pity on your in your last moments and pull you into his arms. 
It’s been a while since you’ve been hugged. 
The end is near. Ghosts and spectres have begun to materialise. Are they here to lead you away? Guide you to whatever comes next? Their arms wrap around you, gentle but firm. They unhook you from the ceiling and unwind the chains which rattle against the concrete beneath you. 
How kind of them to let you pass on with dignity. 
His eyes flicker before you.
It’s so nice for your memory to allow you to see them one last time.
One. Last. Time.
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