#AUGUST CANT COME QUICK ENOUGH

[blushouyo]

UUUUWWWHHH 💔💔💔💔💔

[crenandos]

.

[neenerisms]

enough rambles has gotten me to this point and the time has passed. the bear s4 wishlist right now.

(quick note these all dont have to happen in the same plot LMAO. its more of a "if at least ONE of these things happen, i'll be happy!" thing)

i'm starting this out on a rough foot: carmy and syd argument. it has to happen. i was serious about that when i said in a previous post. in each other's faces and everything. i need us circling back to the s1 vibes right now.

add on: this argument needs to be what prompts syd to leave. i need that whole crew seeing carmy as a bad guy for a few days. white boy loss!

more richie lore. more berzatto lore. more syd lore. all three. in terms of berzatto lore i'd fucking kill to know about their dad tbh. richie lore? i need to know how he got so close to the berzattos. there's obviously something going on in his family to why he's never seen with them. syd lore? ohhh so much shit i wanna know. her family! the catering! little backstory on her tats! storer don't even give me the fucking season if i don't get a syd centric episode.

i also really want a mikey centric episode too!! i understand that he's supposed to haunt the narrative, but i really want to see something about him rather than it just being "oh shit! mikey! anyways—".

marcus/syd/luca trio friendship. look, i have a lot that i want but i need this at the most. getting a scene where they all cook and shittalk carmy is something that will get me through the day.

i can feel the tomato that's about to be tossed at me, but carmy has to apologize to claire. the way i see it, he has three main people he needs to apologize to: her, richie (no, the one he did in ep 1 does not count. it was half-assed and he's more worried about the fact he did it rather than fixing the problem.) and syd. in my mind, i don't think he's ever going to get the balls to apologize to the other two if he doesn't apologize to her first. (or it might be flipped to where he cant apologize to her until he learns how to apologize to those two, but i'd prefer the former to be honest!)

rough foot p2: imo the bear can't come out in one piece. whether it's because of a bad review, jimmy running out of money as a whole so it can't get it funded anymore or, i semi remember someone saying burn it down. (which? i'd weirdly like??? i'd be devastated as fuck if that happened but also...i'm really interested to see the comeback from that.) i just need a wakeup call for carmy for the overall state of the kitchen. (also because i just DON'T see the show ending with it being like "and they did fine dining forever!" it just feels disappointing to end it that way, especially if the sandwich window is apparently doing way better than the restaurant itself...take us back to the roots!! or something!!)

the bear's timeline is so fucking confusing to the point i don't know what's the current date in the show right now (i've been assuming somewhere in between july-august?) so this one is less than likely to happen but i want them to go to some kind of award thing so bad...james beard or something else i don't fucking care, just give me the group in formal wear please. (extra points if this the only time they're bonding after a while!)

i'm not really into shipping culture like that w/ this show (aka idc who gets with who as long as they're happy.) BUT sydcarmies should at least be allowed a win with the way carmy apologizes to syd. i really want it to be somewhere personal and i hope it includes well—food. drop the collaborative dish while they talk in syd's apartment, thank you. (cause it's gonna leave a sour taste in my mouth if they're uncomfortably distant for life.)

lastly, don't give me anymore copenhagen flashbacks. don't get me wrong, i love seeing carmy happy but every time i read kitchen confidential, (which is mostly set in nyc) i just think "i wonder if carmy went through the same shit". more nyc carmy please if we're going to get flashbacks on past culinary experiences! it doesn't even have to be about fields, but i really wanna see what happened in other places carmy visited.

i feel like that's all in my head for now? feel free to elaborate on these, it's just me spitting out random shit that's been in my head. (i might make a hc list soon? is that something people want????)

[yourtouchismidas]

how do u think matty reacts when gigi gets into her first relationship? i think he'd be wary but still very polite (also definitely gives the partner the shovel talk)

this ask perfectly follows on from the one i just wrote so we'll start from where that left off.

when gigi gets home from her first proper date, with the first guy she really properly likes, george has already text him to tell him where she was having bumped into him on the street. she tries to come into the house quietly, hoping that the noise of her little sisters messing around will drown her out and she can hop up to her bedroom without being noticed.

instead, the house is silent. perfect. no screams or laughs from the girls. they all must be out. gigi relaxes. she kicks off her shoes and puts down her back. she goes out of the hallway and to climb the stairs and then she hears him. a voice.

"august healy,"

it's her dad. she goes into the kitchen, knowing it would be disrespectful to ignore him, and he is sitting in one of the dining chairs, nursing a coffee, and stroking one of the twin's stuffy like he's in the godfather.

"hi dad," gigi says sheepishly.

"i received a very interesting text earlier," he says, putting down his coffee mug. "care to take a guess on what that may have been?"

she folds her arms, "i think we all know."

"i think we do," matty says, suddenly throwing the stuffed toy rabbit on the floor, then quickly, realising how hard he has thrown it, picks it up and says, "sorry bunny," and gives it a quick kiss on the head before placing it on the table. gigi is trying not to laugh. he's such a nightmare.

"i've heard, from a certain uncle, that a certain daughter, has been out with, someone of the male variety. am i correct?"

"dad can you stop?" she whines, "i'm fifteen."

"you're twelve," he says.

"for gods sake. where's mum? she'll put an end to this nonsense."

"your mother has yet to be informed of the male child. she is currently out with the rest of my charges. but i'm sure she will feel the same as I."

"dad," gigi says, giggling, "stop it."

"stop what?" he says, waving his arms around like some cartoon character.

"stop messing around. so i went out with a boy. its fine."

"i'll stop messing around when you tell me about him. and assure me that this male child has no intentions to hurt my precious child."

"didn't george tell you he's already threatened him?"

"he did not," matty says, "but i will need to threaten him myself, obviously."

"dad," gigi sighs, turning around to leave the kitchen.

"wait baby, come back," matty says, returning to his regular voice. "you dont need to lie about who you're seeing okay? please dont lie to me love."

"but you act like this! you care so much!"

"i'm just being a knob," he says. holding his arms out to hug her. "and i just care because you're my baby girl. okay? i want the best for you."

she leans into him. he rubs his knuckles in her curls.

"george did tell me he's really good looking," matty says.

gigi looks at him grinning, "oh my god he is, he's so fit."

matty pulls a face like he's just eaten something terrible.

"oh god, yeah no, can't do that."

"what?"

"happy for you he's fit an all but cant stomach hearing about it."

"that's fair enough, will you leave me alone about it now?"

"fine," matty says, going back to his coffee and picking up bunny again, "but i want to meet him. get him round for dinner please."

"sure," gigi says, taking the opportunity to run out the room.

"love you!" matty calls after her up the stairs. she sighs hard, but yells back, "love you too."

when you come back with the girls, you find matty in his music room crafting a song called "stay away from my daughter you shit."

"matthew healy," you say, grinning. you know he doesnt mean it. but you also know he loves that kid more than anything in the entire world.

"he's coming round for dinner," matty shudders, "i have to be ready."

[tenaciouschronicler]

August 20 2024 2009

Turns out John is not fine.

But its ok, the power of a polite Vagabonds words spring the boy back up with enough energy to threaten the slime pogo with shaving cream. Once again John scales the wall, does what i can only call a Sonic spindash, and absconds into the office, knocking over an imps hat.

To keep the imps from entering, Rose drops and shoves the fridge in the doorway knocking over Nannas hard made cookies. But hey at least ehe fridge levels up!(???)

In the, relative, safety of the office, WV continues to talk with John using his newfound manners. Really quick turn around after finding that book huh?

Since John has, once again, trapped his PDA, Rose takes it upon herself to use the safe as a bludgeon.... by very unnecessarily dropping it from above the platform she created as it crashes through the roof back into the office.

Could it be? The unabridges Sassacres??!!

No time to dwell on that though as Johnis spacing out pretty hard, oblivious to the happenings as WV tries to get a can opener from him. Not sure HOW John would get the can opener to you WV, seeing as you are in the far future, but I see you have your priorities.

Seeing John through Roses perspective though is hilarious. She probably thinks John is losing his mind.

Speaking of WV... we jump to the future and see them... eating... the pages?... of the book??? Its an... interesting... way to gain knowledge.

And with a future page comes another FAQ update. This time Rose has taken the time to screenshot Johns game happenings. Each one comes with a caption which i will note important/funny bits.

Acknowledging continued power despite severed lines. Posits "a powerless house to be a handicap less in keeping with spirit of game's principal statement of challenge".

Same with the internet but also says could be compromised by "Something like, oh, let's say hackers." (👀)

Tries to be smooth about what happened with the car, "when I returned, the car was nowhere to be found, and the driveway-plateau was in a state of disrepair". Geez i wonder what could have happened?

Amazing.

A quote sans author I will look into regarding John and his valient Pogo Steed.

Regarding the existance of Colonel Sassacres book in the safe, "Another one of these things. Really, Egbert family? Really?"

Dads room being nothing but static? Even with the power of Sburb, Rose is not omniscient. Since John hasnt seen the room Rose guesses she cant either which is super interesting. How does the game know this information? Presumably John Has been in Dads room before or at least seen a glimps in his time living there right? Itd be odd if he hasnt.

Safe to say i am with Rose. I am itching to see what the designix does. I am on my knees John. The curiosity. It grows.

[wanderrlust0]

sudden rant turned spiral lol oops

my friend got tickets to see hozier aka andrew their wife and basically got them for us since i said id be down to go. personally im not like a fan where id go see him but id say im a casual listener. like i knew a good amount of songs. i loveee cherry wine and others. now that we have this concert coming up on june 7, ive become a listener. i gotta prepare and all that yknow. cant go to andrew unprepared. also..idk how?! but i was not aware of his thick irish accent.. loll and i mean, even in his new album, he sings with a clear accent?? idk how i never noticed before honestly. so yeah, im curious to know what a hozier concert will be liikeeee. this will be my second concert this yr and they both involve me going bc a friend asked me to go for company lol. i am going to another in august w my bf to see porter robinson and thats actually one i will really enjoy!! itll also be our first like “edm” dance music type concert so itll be so cool. its at the same stadium that hozier will be at as welllll..but you see, what im procrastinating is telling my bf im going w my friend. my friend who hes not a fan of. the one who he thinks is a Threat! D: ive been knowing for likee 2 weeksish and havent said a single word about it agdjfkfl but i am calling it now.. i. will. tell. him. tomorrow. period. no ifs ands or buts. i need to stop worrying and just rip the bandaid off. once i do tho, im still gonna feel anxious bc literally The NEXt WEEk we will most likely go to my (ex)coworkers second party. (the one who threw a halloween party and i didnt know if wed go but we were already hanging out that day so i mentioned it prior and we ended up having enough time and the girls house was very close to me so we ended up dropping by and i told elias right then and there so it was very last minute and kind of fucked up of me but ive developed an avoidance thing towards him if it has to do with snow bc of everything and thats why now i cant help myself from feeling nervous to ever bring them up around him bc im scared he’ll revert back and not love me and start resenting me and leave me and be mean to me and make me feel lonely and accuse me of things and say its my fault i started the friendship in the first place and that im not committed to him and dont love him anymore and everything else under the sun bc hes got trust issues which is a pain and he’ll go from loving me so hard to not in a quick minute if he starts thinking the worst possibilities and i just cant handle all of that and tbh its nothing new so ive grown to understand the process and that itll pass but it really does suckk and it can turn into a turn off and then he becomes emotionally unavailable and then i become emotionally annoyed and then its a constant reoccurring cycle that doesnt always look the same but they follow the same theme which is trust and every time it happens i want to shout at his ex for causing him to develop this issue and this is me spiraling right now bc im nervous and to be crystal clear its not bc im doing anything shady at all or anything with this friend but i just wanna feel the freedom to just casually hang out with them without it feeling so taboo or whatever bc we still have so many plans that wed like to do and idk if he will ever be okay with me going to their house and idk when he’ll ever get better where he wont care how many times we hang out or how often we talk and i just want him to chill about them bc theyre not a bad person at all theyre not this homewrecker girlfriend stealer he makes it out to beeee were literally just existinggg were literally just two friends who enjoy each others company and existence and have become very open and genuine with fairly quickly and we somehow just connected and i truly do love them as a friend and im happy weve crossed paths and stayed in touch and its just something he cant and wont fully understand about us but hes been trying to at least a little but is mainly just dealing with it bc he knows he cant stop me and im not gonna stop my friendship bc hes telling me to so,

…continued…

[smashkick-archive]

GUESS WHOSE KINGDOM HEARTS ORCHESTRA TICKET CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!!

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[waitimcomingtoo]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter one rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!Reader

Synopsis: you are Peter’s greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Masterlist and Series Masterlist

“Married?” You squeaked as your eyes grazed over the words on the card a hundred times without retaining any of the information. As you momentarily forgot how to even read, you had to rely on the words coming out of Andy’s mouth.

“Yes, uh, married.” He awkwardly cleared his throat. “Dani and I are getting married over the summer.”

The awkward silence filled the air, suffocating the three of you, but you didn’t care. You were still staring at that damn card. That damn card that said your ex boyfriend was getting married to another girl.

“Married.” You repeated, at a loss for words.

“You said that already, dumbass.” Venom chimed in, telepathically. You rolled your eyes and kicked the bench, signaling to her to quiet down.

“Yeah.” He said again. “I know we’re young, but I’m sure about her. She’s the love of my life.”

“Wow. Good for you.” You faked a smile as you stared at the invitation. “It’s Uh, it’s a lot to take in.”

“I know. That’s why I wanted to tell you in person. I figured it would be better than you randomly getting the card in the mail and finding out that way.” Andy explained.

“Our hero.” Venom snarled, so you pinched your leg to send her the message to be quiet.

“Yeah. Yeah, no, I’m glad you told me.” You lied as your eyes finally processed something on the card.

“You’re getting married on August 10?” You asked, finally tearing your eyes away from the invitation to look at him. He looked good, you had to admit. His curly brown hair was cut shorter than usual and he was still wearing his police uniform.

“Bright and early. I chose that day because-“

“Because it’s your parents anniversary. I know.” You cut him off, a little sharply.

“I’m sorry if this is awkward.” He frowned. “I understand if you’re too hurt to come.”

“It’s fine. We were together and now we’re not. Besides, I’m really happy for you and Dani. She really helped me get back on my feet when Venom and I first bonded. I like her. And if you want to marry her on that day, then go ahead.” You said, and you meant it. You did like Dani. You’d like her more if she wasnt dating the love of your life, but hey, nobody’s perfect.

“You’re lying. We want him back. He looks so juicy and delicious.” Venom said. You choked on your saliva for a moment at her words and Andy was quick to pat your back.

“You alright?” He asked. You nodded and made a mental note to have a domestic conversation about boundaries with Venom when you got home.

“I’m fine. And anyways, I’ve uh, I’ve moved on.” You lied, adverting your eyes so he wouldn’t catch on.

“What? No we haven’t?” Venom didn’t grasp the social cue.

“You have?” Andy asked, seemingly taken aback.

“No! We love you!” Venom growled in your head.

“Yep. I’m in a deeply committed and loving relationship.” You nodded as you looked anywhere but at him. It wasn’t a total lie. You were technically in a relationship with Venom, though be it a host/parasite kinda deal.

“What’s he like?” Andy wondered, looking pissed off all the sudden.

“They’re great. They’re, uh…tall. Super, super tall.” You began to describe Venom. So far, it was all true. Venom was 7’6 in her final form.

“They’re black, like yourself, and they’ve got this big, beautiful smile.” You could feel yourself cringing internally as you painted the picture for him.

“You think our smile is beautiful?” Venom teased you.

“And they just always have my back. They’re my ride or die, you know? If I didn’t have them, I’d be dead. Literally.” You finished. Also true. If you and Venom ever got separated, you would both die. Andy was looking off into the distance, sucking his teeth before nodding again.

“That’s nice.” He said, but his tone didn’t sound like he thought it was nice.

“I’d literally die.” You repeated to fill the awkward silence.

“I get it.” He deadpanned.

“Like, I’d freaking perish.”

“Alright.” He held up his hands and you stopped.

“So, do you think you can come?” He brought the conversation back to him, something he was good at.

Of course you could come. What else would you be doing? But you were just getting back on my feet after losing your job and a wedding might be too much too soon. You were at rock bottom before you found Venom. Well, before you found each other. That was nearly a year ago, but that day came back in flashes every now and then...

“You’re seriously breaking up with me? Over a job?” You asked as you followed Andy out of the police station. You were under the impression that he had just been fired because of the files you took from his computer. Classified files on local businessman Carlton Drake and the people he had killed with his experiments, of course.

“Yeah, I am.” He snapped. “I’m done with you.”

“Can’t we talk about this?” You pleaded as you followed him down the street.

“Okay.” He stopped, looking angry. “Do you want to talk about how you embarrassed me in front of my precinct? I just got yelled at in front of my all my coworkers because of you and your greed. You used me for your stupid show.”

“I wasn’t being greedy.” You insisted, ignoring that he called your job stupid. “You had the information on Carlton Drake and I needed it to make an accusation. He’s killing people! He’s a bad guy, Andy. And I write about and report bad men. That’s my job. I didn’t know that looking at your files would get you fired.”

Andy put his hands on his hips and looked around, suddenly sheepish.

“I wasn’t fired.” He mumbled.

“What?” You switched from upset to confused. “Then why are you angry?”

“I was demoted to traffic duty for two weeks because of you.” He pointed an angry finger at you and you almost laughed.

“I’m sorry, wait.” You compared yourself. “You’re breaking up with me after two years together because I got you demoted to traffic duty? Are you serious?”

“Do you know how embarrassing it is to wear that orange vest? It’s humiliating.” Andy shouted and you covered your mouth to keep from laughing. “Everyone in the neighborhood knows me and now they’re gonna know I’m on traffic duty.”

“People know you?” Your eyes widened at how dense he was being. “Andy, I’m a local celebrity. I had a whole show on YouTube that I was just fired from. Actually fired. You’re just a police officer who was demoted.”

“To traffic duty.” He repeated, as if it was suddenly worse.

“I know!” You snapped before calming down. “Are we really over? Just because of one mistake?”

“You used me.” He shrugged. “I can’t trust you.”

You stared at him as he walked over to you, never breaking eye contact as he took his key off your key ring.

“We’re over.” He hissed before turning around and walking away.

“Y/N?” Andy waved a hand in front of your face, snapping you out of it.

“Oh, right sorry. Um…” You trailed off as you mulled it over. You were happy for him, but you weren’t ready to see him marry someone else. That was gonna be you guys. Of course you wanted to be at his wedding, but you wanted to be the bride.

“Actually, I cant.” You blurted, quickly thinking of a lie. “The Daily Bugle called me and offered me a job in New York. They want me to cover a story on some serial killer. I was gonna move there part time until the story is done. I’m leaving in a few weeks.”

It was partially true. The Daily Bugle did reach out to ask you to write the story, but you had planned to write it at home. News of Andy’s impending marriage was enough to drive you out of the state.

“Oh really?” Andy raised an eyebrow. “Wow.”

He was never one to celebrate you, even when you were together, but his reaction seemed different now. He almost seemed surprised that you were still successful without him.

“Yea. I just finalized everything this morning.” You lied again as you wondered how you’d get a NYC apartment on such short notice. “But hey, maybe I’ll finish early and make it back in time for your big day. I mean, it’s only April. I have lots of time. How many people could this guy possible kill until August?” You joked, but Andy didn’t laugh. He never really got your sense of humor.

“That’s great Y/N.” He nodded, not much enthusiasm behind it. “Things are really turning around for you. I can’t believe you found a job and a boyfriend. I didn’t think it would happen.”

You narrowed your eyes at his condescending comment but decided to brush it off.

“Well, it did. I’m on to bigger and better things.” You cut into him a little as you stood up. “I better go. I told my partner I’d meet them for lunch. Bye!”

“Bye!” Andy called after you, still in a funk from what you told him.

You practically ran home and slid down your door once you got inside.

“Holy shit. I’m such a liar.” You grimaced and covered my face with my hands. Venom manifested herself in her snake-like form and looked at you.

“You’re not a liar if we move to New York and start dating.” She said, making you laugh.

“You have a point. In that case, will you be my girlfriend, Miss Venom?” You asked sarcastically and Venom grinned.

“You’re not really my type, but I’m willing to settle.” Venom matched your sarcasm.

“Then let’s make moving plans, baby.” You sighed. “We’re going to New York.”

[starsheild]

AU August 2nd- Marriage of Convenience

AU August 2nd 2021- Marriage of Convenience

It was almost as though his time tied on the wagon was the calm in the eye of the storm for Prowl. The cycle had started in a whirl of activity and ended much the same way, and Prowl had only been swept helplessly along by it all. 

His processor had skipped a little when he had finally come face to face with the speaker and discovered that the Monsters of Mountains were just mecha. Strange looking mecha to be sure, but beings whose fields he could teek, his optics could observe, and his audios could hear even if his processor could not process the glyphs being spoken for the most part.

The visored mech had lifted his chin forcing Prowls helm one way and then the other as he studied him. When he spoke again it was in heavily accented but perfectly fluent Praxian. “Just ya keep quiet and we’ll get ya mov’d outta here.”

Prowl simply nodded in agreement. It was not as though he had much choice. There was no point in calling for help, for there was no one to rescue him. While his tired processor was sluggishly generating questions as it tried to process his surprise and confusion, in the moment it was so much easier to just obey.

The bindings that had secured him on the wagon were cut away and Prowl swayed as their support fell away, the stiffness of his frame after being restrained for so long catching up with him.

“Easy there.” The stranger murmured, catching Prowl quickly yet gently. He supported Prowl easily until he found his pedes again, then helped Prowl to the edge of the wagon, passing him down to others waiting on the ground, issuing orders in a dialect Prowl couldn’t follow.

Those on the ground handled him just as gently, helping him to the edge of the clearing where Prowl was met with a new sight starting enough to force his processor to focus once more. He had seen images of zap-ponies, of course, but he had never actually thought that he would see a real one, much less ride one. But that was clearly what his helpers intended as they lifted him and placed him on the small beast, guiding his servos to the stiff upright mane that ran the length of the creature's crest pointedly.

One of them spoke quickly, stopping only when Prowl blinked at him stupidly. After a nanoklks consideration and a brief consultation with his companion he squeezed Prowl’s fingers in to the mane. “Hold. Strong. Hold strong?”

That at least Prowl was able to process, and he grabbed hold and nodded. Relieved, the one that had spoken stepped away, leaving Prowl with the single mech to hold the pony. After a few vents to process the strangeness Prowl looked around, watching in silence as the mecha swarmed over the clearing, gathering up everything and loading on an entire herd of zap-ponies like the one he currently sat upon. Even the wagons were quickly broken down and loaded on the beast until there was nothing left in the clearing.

It was then that the first mech that had spoken, the leader, Prowl decided, had appeared at his side and taken command of Prowl’s mount. At his motion the entire company set out, and Prowl had resigned himself to holding on for the ride. The canopy of the crystal forest hid the stars in the sky above, leaving in darkness that his optics could not penetrate and input from his sensor wings that his processor could not interpret.

He wasn’t entirely sure how he reached their destination. The next time he really processed anything he realized he was inside some sort of building and being helped from the zap-pony. A short, dark mech appeared, taking him from the leader and guiding him away.

He led Prowl into a small room, directing him to the berth within, and for the first time Prowl balked.

The mech stopped, then chuckled softly. “Easy mech. Yer not fer me. Not fer no one at the moment. Ya hungry, jus’ wanna charge?”

Prowl started to nod, then caught himself. That was not a yes or no question, and he was suddenly at a loss.

“Ah, ya can speak now, much as ya want. Yer safe here.” There was a hint of sympathy in the dark mech’s tone and field.

“Fuel would be appreciated.” Prowl said, more relieved than he liked at being allowed to speak again. He settled on the edge of the berth, automatically evaluating it as it gave beneath him. Firm, but not so bad. As tired as he was at the moment, Prowl suspected that he could have recharged on the hard floor beneath his pedes with little difficulty. “And, maybe also, your designation?” 

The mech laughed. “Sorry mech. Meh manners are slippin’. Ori’ll prolly whap me when ‘e hears. ‘M Ricochet. Rico, if ya prefer.” He fetched a cube of energon from a side table that Prowl had not noticed at first, taking a small sip before offering it to Prowl. “Here.”

“Thank-you.” Prowl accepted the energon and the gesture of goodwill, even if he had not felt anything of the sort necessary. He was a captive, was he not? His first question had gone over well enough, so after a few sips of the energon he dared another.

“May I know what my fate is to be?”

The dark mech, Rico, shook his helm. “That’s for Ori ta tell. He’ll be by, once ya’ve had a chance to fuel and charge a bit. From what ‘ave heard, they don’ make this easy on ya’ll.”

“Those that have been sent before?” A bit of hope crept in to Prowl’s spark. While he still had no idea what was to happen to him, he doubted that they would go through the trouble of fueling and allowing a mech that they were planning to end for whatever reason to rest.

“Yup.” Ricochet nodded in agreement, watching as Prowl finished off the energon. He held out his servo for the empty cube. “Want more?”

“I am not full.” Prowl said as he handed it over. “But I am no longer empty, and I fear that much more will not set well with my tank right now.”

“Smart mech.” Ricochet observed. “I’ll leave ya to charge then. Yer safe in here. Don’ leave the room though.”

“I will not.” Prowl promised.

“Good. Ya need anything, jus’ holler for me or call fer Punch. He’s my ori.”

“He was the one that brought me back?”

“Yup.” Rico smiled, the single glyph answer full of pride and affection. “‘Need anything ‘fore I go?”

Prowl shook his helm, then caught himself as he optics landed on the glowing crystal on the table with the pitcher. “Will you leave the light?”

Ricochet followed his gaze, and actually seemed a bit surprised at the request. “‘Course. Ya can cover it if want it darker, or I can bring another if ya want more.”

“One will suffice. Thank you.”

Prowl back on the berth as the door closed behind Ricochet. He did not hear any sort of lock engage, which surprised him a little. With a soft vent he let his optics go dim and his processor wander. As recharge overtook him his last conscious thoughts were of his brother, and a silent prayer to whoever might be listening that the Priest had kept his word and delivered the message.

***

The creak of the opening door pulled Prowl from recharge. He struggled to sit up, groaning as his processor slowly booted. When his optics finally focused they revealed the other mech he could clearly recall from the dark cycle.

Punch, Ricochet had named him when the dark mech had claimed him as his originator.

“Feelin’ better?” Punch asked as he came closer, offering Prowl a full cube of energon after taking a sip, just as Rico had done before.

Prowl’s optics swept over the mech curiously as he accepted the cube. The bright yellow and blue of his armor was a sharp contrast to Ricochets, though as his processor continued to clear Prowl could see the resemblance in frame and manner. “I am, thank you. Ricochet was very considerate.”

“Not enough ta ask ya yer name.” Punch grumbled. “Since ‘e couldn’t tell meh when asked.”

“My designation is Prowl.” Prowl offered with the appropriate cant of tilt of his helm and doorwings as well as the intonation of his designation that added layers of meaning beyond the mere glyph.

“Well then Prowl, welcome ta Polyhex.” Punch smiled, the expression if not warm, at least as welcoming as the glyphs. “Rico said ya had questions.”

“Many.” Prowl admitted, debating between what he desperately weighed as the most important, and lesser weighted ones that were not as frightening in their potential answers posed by his processor. Finally he settled on the latter. “I must confess I am surprised at hearing Praxian spoken.”

Punch’s expression softened a touch, his frame settling into an even more relaxed posture as he answered. “There’s a good number ‘o us that know it. Ya seem like a smart one, though. Bet ‘cha pick up in Poly quick enough.”

“Then I am to continue functioning,” Prowl sighed, the words slipping from him before his processor could catch the escaping thought.

“‘Course ya are. Don’ know what they tell ya happens ta the mecha they leave any more. Don’t really care, honestly.”

“They tell us nothing of what supposedly happens to the Offerings.” Prowl admitted. “All I know, all I know that anyone knows for sure, is that they are never seen from again.”

“Well, there is that.” Punch nodded in agreement. “Seein’ as how we can’t have ya goin’ back. But we’ve never off’d anyone they’ve offered without cause. So long as ya agree ta stay, ya live here jus’ like one ‘o us.”

“Like one of you? As a… Polyhexian?” Prowl stumbled over the glyph, his stutter the result of a great deal of surprise, and no small amount of anxiety

“Free ta live and enjoy functioning.” Punch confirmed. “Soon as one little detail’s taken care of.”

“And what is that?”

“Yer bondin.”

[certified-scoundrel]

Hi!! I would love for you to unleash the fruits! never enough gay pirates

HELL YEAH OKAY HERE WE GO

this is gonna be a little long, so beware.

DISCLAIMER: Please ignore any historical inaccuracies, continuity errors in relation to time (like how much real time had passed in the show compared to with my characters), etc. my ego cant take it <3 /lh

Starting with, my og, Charlie! (yes we have the same name, no i didnt name him after myself. its a long story)

Name: Charles “Charlie” Rose Solace

Pronouns: He/They (ftm)

Sexuality: Gay

Age at the beginning of the show: 20

Height: 5’11

Birthday: April 17th

Occupation: Pirate (duh)

(He also has big round glasses for reading/writing/other stuff idk)

Then we have August Henry Kora

Name: August Henry Kora

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Queer

Age at the beginning of the show: 20

Height: 6’0

Birthday: May 27th

Occupation: Florist

—————

Now that you know them both, lets get their backstories/their place in the show!

Charles “Charlie” Solace was born the only child to an upper class family, attending an all-girls school for a few years before it merged with an all boys school when he was 9. He formed a small friend group when this merge happened, eventually coming out to them when he was 15 after two of the people turned out to be dating, forming a deeper bond with one particular boy named August. When he was 17 he was outed to his unaccepting parents, with the following fight ending in the scar found over his left eye. After this fight, Charlie decided he would run away from home. He soon caught wind of how Stede Bonnet, a former family friend of his, had left his life behind to become a pirate. Charlie joined Bonnet’s crew, introducing himself to the group as Charlie, and (with Stede’s help) got on the crews good side. However, soon before they set sail, Charlie visited August during the night to say goodbye and confess that (big surprise) he loved him. Though he was fairly reserved around most (almost never speaking around the crew in the beginning), his quick thinking and smarts (not that they were needed very often as they rarely actually did pirate-y stuff) allowed him to become a crucial part of the crew. His familiarity with Stede helped them bond, forming a father-son type relationship. (A similar relationship would begin to form between him and Ed later, however we all know how bad ed is with emotions so it may be even more of a father son relationship than charlie and stede if we’re honest here). Charlie is a fairly skilled swordsman (August relayed the things he learned in his class to Charlie when they were younger as Charlie wasnt allowed to take classes himself), hes by no means the best but he is up there. Rather than sword-fighting lessons, Charlie was put into Violin, Piano, and painting classes as a child. Once Ed and his crew took the revenge, Charlie and Izzy immediately disliked each other as Charlie was the type to talk back to authority and could also take a punch so really there was nothing Izzy could to about it once Ed told Izzy he couldn’t kill the crew yet. Charlie really likes birds too btw.

August Henry Kora was born to an upper class family made up of himself, his mother, and his two sisters (one older than him and one younger). He attended an all boys school for a few years before it merged with an all girls school when he was 9. August had always had a love for flowers, studying Floriography along with how to dry and preserve flowers in private. Despite his good grades, he much preferred to daydream during class rather than pay attention to the professor. He and the rest of his family got along well, though his mother could be a bit overbearing at times. August knew why she was like this, she had been quite overprotective of him after his fathers death, but it still tended to bother him. He never came out to anyone excluding a boy in his friend group named Charlie. They bonded much more than the rest of the group. He had been in love with Charlie for many years until Charlie ran away from his unaccepting home when they were 17 to become a pirate with a family friend named steve or something (August isnt the best at remembering names). After Charlie left, August wrote many letters to him, though he never bothered trying to send them. He knew that it was unlikely he would ever see Charlie again (dw he does, im just too lazy to write the story), but continued to dream about finally getting to see him again. When Stede returned to town, August went to talk to ask him about his travels and definitely not just to make sure Charlie was okay. Stede recognized August’s name and said Charlie talked a lot about him.

___

thats it for now, i know theyre not the best OCs but im also a gay teen on tumblr so what do you expect. Please dont be mean im fragile

Picrew used for the fruits - https://picrew.me/image_maker/1414503

[spade-riddles]

Submission: Kaylor timeline 2019-2020

This is a atempt of maping the happenings surrounding kaylor in the last 3 years. Please keep in mind that i might forget some things, mostly from 2019 since my memory is actually horrible. I’ll try to include the most important things mainly so let me know if i missed something big. Also, feel free to add some kaylor nods, easter eggs on the girls’ social media, general stuff and correct me i fim wrong on dates or places. Oh quick disclaimer: most of this is Taylor focused because the last time i went on karlies instagram to look for the nashville selfie i actually wanted to puke or bury my face into a hole for the rest of eternety (ok, both) after seeing the jerk photos so if you have any important stuff please add it. Thank u!!!

Lover Era

- ME! MV release on lesbian visibility day (april 26th)

- City of Lover (funny enough, karlie was there in march 😉)

- taylor’s pride post “lets show our pride...” (taylors ig june 1st)

- Promo for the MV with karlie’s hand on taylors ig 16 june post   

- sc**ter *audible puke sound* buys taylors masters (june 30th)

- You Need To Calm Down MV (july 17th) 

- Lover Title Track released 13 days after karlie’s bday (august 16th)

- Lover mv release which Taylor captioned on her ig post with YAIL lyrics.

- Lover Album Release (august 23rd)

- Miss Americana release (jan 31 2020) “gay pride... everything that makes me me” etc

- The Man MV release (feb 27th)

Here’s some posts with lover era easter eggs:

Link 1

Link 2

some inch resting posts:

eye theory ?! 

gold rush 😉

paris captions: 

Link 1

Link 2

(probably not that much of a proof much more of a koincidence since au revoir is a pretty common frase but whatever)

This masterpiece here during NYFW in 2019:

note: I think its pretty safe to assume that up until this point its obvious kaylor is still together. Theres exactly no reason why Taylor and Karlie would be referencing kaylor stuff and each other at this point if they weren’t together.

folklore & evermore Era (oh the start of a daydream and a nightmare)

- Not a lot going on at the moment post  April 27, 2020

- Karlies very interesting posts:  

Dancing in a Cardigan July 10th, 2020

Happy Place July 23rd, 2020

- Tamagochi June 25, 2020 and buns May 14, 2020

- folklore announcement (july 23rd)

Note: up until this point its also pretty much a concensus that they’re still together. Since Karlie hinted the folklore aesthetic and cardigan on her ig post, and Taylor changed the cardigan lyrics to “knew you’d come back to me” and wrote “the lakes” and obviously there is “peace”. From this point on, especially after the WB stuff and pregnancy rumors in September (?) things start to get kinda blurry and gaylors and kaylors start building different point of views. So heres what happens:

- Taylor releases the long pond sessions where she says that joe is WB. I feel like we kinda all believe he isn’t, the thing that gives it for me is mostly Taylor’s body language and the way she stutters when she says it. Also, its kinda weird that out of nowhere joe got this songwriting skills magically. Like, they’ve been “together” for four years and only now Taylor discoveres this man has better songwriting and composing skills than his actual job, idk sounds fishy to me but, you make the call.

- Pregnancy rumors starts flowing on both sides. Taylor quickly starts drinking a shit ton of wine to get her beloved swiffers to come to the realization that she is in fact not pregnant. Karlie’s rumors also starts flowing, and then the people! (?) article comes out confirming it and Karlie later posts a video on her instagram. Here’s where it gets messy. Ill try to explain shortly to you the narrative on the Kaylor side and why i don’t believe in the gaylor narrative. Obviously its your choice wheter you believe it or not.

- Kaylor: The baby is Taylor’s and Karlie’s (not gonna get into hows and stuff bc if it is actually real then it is invading their privacy too much, also speculating about this might trigger some people). 

Things that back this theory up: obviously peace “give you a child”, karlie not tagging j*sh*a on her vids, that one 2,1/2 photo from the folklore photoshoot, buns and tamagochi, Taylor and Paul talking about parenthood in the Rolling Stone issue, and all the fertility imagery in evermore and folklore.

Karlie was in Cali in may until august, Taylor was also there. Jerk was on Ny or Miami cant exactly remeber. And it seems that this is what she wrote that one line “knew youd come back to me” in cardigan about. (IMO they [t and k] had some fight after the masters sale on the end of 2019 and took a break or something, so she would in fact come back to her, but just my opinion). So, karlie was there from may to august, karlie’s is on the end of her pregnancy, and if you do the math, she got pregnant sometime between june and july. Which makes it kinda impossible for the baby to be jerk’s (consequently ending the gaylor narrative) since he was in another place and karlie was on cali for like 4 months, if the baby was his, the baby would’ve been born already.

The gaylor narrative is mostly based on Taylor’s songs specially champagne problems, coney island, hoax, closure and exile.

Coney Island isn’t even necessarily a breakup song, it’s just simply a sad song, it is like death by a thousand cuts pt2, it gives the vibe that Taylor is sorry about a lot of things like not being able to thank Karlie “but when i walked up to the podium i think that i forgot to say your name”.

Like coney island, hoax is about the lows of their relationship but it’s clear in the song that taylor still loves karlie and would trade her for anything “don’t want no other shade of blue but you”

Closure and champagne: it just reminds me of Dianna for some reason i don’t even know how to explain it. Champagne Problems remind some of Dianna bc of i know places where she says “take my hand and don’t ever drop it”, to the gp that song is about harry(<3) and most songs that “are about him” are actually about Dianna. i do think it’s is kinda inspired by Karlie though.

Exile: honestly could be used to form a toe breakup narrative.

TBH we’ll probably never understand fully the story behind it. But Taylor also said that a lot of the albums are full of fantasy even thought they’re also inspired by real life situations.

Thank u for reading!! this is obviously my opinion on the matter and my take on the whole situation. feel free to believe whatever you want, and add stuff i forgot sending u lots of love <3

[deathonyourtongue]

August Walker after the crash/recovering on a village hospital hc?

For the purposes of this, I’m gonna retcon that burn, because disfigurement aside, the infection would be a mess and a half. Also, there’s a song that goes with this: Old Fashioned Morphine - Jolie Holland. Lastly, it turned into porn. Sorry not sorry. Enjoy!

~ August Walker is by far the most stubborn patient you’ve ever had, and in a hospital that regularly deals with the who’s who of European society when they get a boo-boo in a foreign country, that’s saying something. 

~ On day one out of his coma, he’s already sitting up and trying to get out of bed. It’s a good thing he’s already cuffed to the bed rails or you’d have had a hell of a time trying to restrain him.

~ For a man who’s about to see multiple years on the inside of a prison cell, he seems to be oddly in a hurry to leave. You chalk it up to him already plotting an escape, and while the CIA is clear that you should report any suspicious activity, you can’t report what you don’t know, so you focus on your duty of care and leave the masterminding to him.

~ By day three post-coma, he’s ready for his first sponge bath and the moment you mention it, the scowl he’s been wearing nearly 24/7 disappears from his face, replaced by an almost pleading look, one you know all too well; patients hate feeling dirty, and Mr. Walker seems to be no exception.

~ You work from the top town, starting with a shampoo and condition of what turn out to be pretty luscious curls. You try your best to ignore the soft sounds of pleasure that escape him as you massage his scalp. After all, who doesn’t like having their head rubbed?

~ His beard and mustache get a good scrub next, and if you weren’t so focused on your task, you’d have noticed the mirth in his eyes. 

~ With the room being private and the CIA staying outside the door, you have no qualms about pulling the sheets down for the next part, and if Walker’s confident expression is anything to go by…Neither does he. 

~ Although you’ve been his sole nurse since his admittance, you’re nevertheless sidetracked for a moment as you take in the sum total of his injuries. His body is mottled black and blue and going over his chart in your head, you’re surprised he’s even able to stay awake, let alone play it cool. You’d be curled up, bawling your eyes out. 

~ Washing his upper body is straightforward, with you being extra gentle over the bruises and abrasions and avoiding his stitches at all costs. You can’t help but secretly enjoy smoothing over the contours of his broad chest and toned stomach with the washcloth, wishing you had someone even half as buff waiting for you back home, let alone a man at all. 

~ He’s at half mast by the time you reach his hips and in daring to look up, you’re surprised to find an impish, boyish look on his face. You were obviously not as subtle in your admiration as you thought you were, or he has a thing for a nurse’s uniform, especially the more antiquated variety the hospital forces all their staff to wear. Either way, it’s clear things are going south in a hurry, but for once, you don’t mind what you know will come next. 

~ Handling him causes a predictable reaction, but the involuntary cant of Walker’s hips comes as a true surprise. How long had it been since he’d been touched? You’re just about to move on to his backside when his voice cuts through the soft music playing through the hospital speakers. You almost can’t believe your ears.

~ “Please?” The word is nearly a whisper and his face is almost pleading when you take another glance up. Debating for a moment, you decide to throw caution to the wind and give him what may very well be his last bit of fun before being thrown in lockup. If anyone asks, you’ll simply remind them of your duty of care.

~ After finding the lubricant, you give him a light coating just so that your glove slips and begin to stroke him slowly. He’s hard as granite in no time and not for the first time, you think to check the strength of the meds running through his IV, still unable to fathom how he can be responding so well to everything.

~ Though you’re content to keep stroking until release, Walker has other plans, and his hand slips as far up your thigh as he can manage in his current position and you know exactly what he actually needs. 

~ “I really shouldn’t be doing this,” you whisper, kicking off your shoes and climbing onto the bed as quietly as possible, grateful that he got one of the newer models that has yet to start creaking.

~ “We all do things we shouldn’t, darling,” he answers with a grin, his voice low and smokey. Its effect goes right between your legs in a way no man has ever managed before. Foreplay isn’t in your vocabulary with him. 

~ You’re careful as you slip him inside, but can’t clamp your mouth shut quick enough to muffle the sound of delight that escapes you as he fills you up in every possible way. Making sure to go easy on his bruised thighs, you start a slow and steady ride, watching as his blue eyes darken with arousal.

~ It’s clear he’d be in control if he weren’t cuffed, Walker’s hands gripping hard at what he can reach of your ass, kneading the skin and muscle as though he were playing with your breasts. 

~ You bite your own knuckle to keep quiet as you pick up the pace, every thrust of his cock hitting your spot dead on the money. His face doesn’t help matters as every rock of your hips brings out more ecstasy in his features.

~ The gasp you let out can’t be helped when his hips buck up hard, sending stars into your vision and waves of orgasm rolling through your body. 

~ He keeps you firmly in place as he cums, and you mewl helplessly as you feel him flood you, hot and thick and sure to leave a mess when you eventually get off him. 

~ Walker’s eyes roll back for a moment and you’re just about to make a quip about life support when you hear the door open. Locking eyes in panic, the only thing you can think to do is pull the curtain, managing to do so in the nick of time. 

~ “Everything alright in there?” One of his handlers calls out, the confusion clear in his voice. 

~ “Never better!” You reply, eyes going wide when Walker purposely thrusts up one last time, his smirk unmissable.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

YO SEBAS’ ROUTE HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED FOR JP I CANT WAIT!!! Do you have any theories of what could happen in his route?!?

Haha, yes, I saw this morning! For those who haven’t yet seen the announcement, it has been said that Sebastian’s route will be coming to the JPN version of Ikevamp on August 25th! It’s very exciting news, and I can’t wait to get started translating after I finish Dazai’s.

Honestly I’m finding this so many degrees of hilarious because I was like “oh ya I’m curious” at first, but after seeing that character introduction video with the lil forehead kiss and the horny as all HELL biting, I’m SLAMMING the horny button holy shit??? (I have that card CG in the JPN ver of the game on my phone and. lord jesus. That scowl. WILL HE STEP ON ME ONEGAI AKIHIKO)

Putting the rest under a cut bc is long and has some JPN ver spoilers:

That being said, let’s address the second part of the ask, shall we? Theories! If I’m honest I’m not surprised Sebastian was next on the docket, but I do admit I’m thoroughly surprised by the CG of him biting MC in earnest--he visibly draws blood on her neck and shoulder. This raises so many questions that are likely to be reiterated endlessly until his rt comes out in full, the most pressing of which is: does Sebastian turn into a vampire? Or is he just really into sadistic foreplay?

If I’m honest I sincerely don’t know if he’s fully turned, only because I’m trying to sort out the information we do have. Why turn into a vampire if the goal is to be with MC, who is also human? If we follow this course of thought, it doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it?

But then our boi Sebas is different in terms of his internalized conflict when compared to the vampires. Granted I may turn out to be wrong about this, but I think the two focal points of his route will be as follows: insecurity and the pursuit of knowledge. Remember that the reason Sebastian (our dearest Akihiko Sato) agrees to Comte’s proposal at all is his insatiable curiosity. I mean just think about it. If Comte told all that stuff about the mansion to someone in modern times, they would probably just figure he was a crazy person and go on with their day. But Sebas, the absolute madlad, agreed; he wanted to see if it was true, and to learn everything he could about people who exhibit extraordinary talent. 

I foresee that this, however, may become a double-edged sword. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say. What I mean to say is that it could be very possible he might turn or undergo something similar to the changing process in order to experience what it’s like firsthand (whether to prove he can handle it or because he wants to understand the residents better/gather info). Furthermore, while Sebastian is curious--with no malicious intent at all--this doesn’t mean that envy is impossible in this kind of scenario, either. Admiration and envy are like two sides of a coin; depending on how one interprets information, they can skew to self-consciousness or inspiration. Given the content I’ve seen for Sebastian so far (and man has it been limited as all heck) I often get the implication that he truly does feel inadequate in some ways compared to the other men. As soon as MC chooses him a kind of overwhelming awareness of his normalcy begins; the implication that he is the wrong or lesser choice. Knowing this, I truly wouldn’t be surprised if problems arise as a result of this self-effacing.

(Note: I don’t think that about Sebastian at all, personally! I think he’s very mindful of others and really astute--to say nothing of his skill when it comes to the domestic sphere. I don’t think just anybody could do what he does, and he sells himself far too short. I always think of how the men call him the Ninja Butler and praise how capable he is, how they freely admit the place wouldn’t be the same without him. Sometimes I wish Sebas could see that, though I understand his concerns as well ;-; I’m always torn bc I’ll be like “I understand but alSO N O”)

Besides those latent insecurities, time to expand more on the pursuit of knowledge. In one way this drive might feed his self-derision; he might believe that the more he is able to do and understand and study, the more he can be of use/help other people. (Put simply his value as a person = the increasing extent of his knowledge in an almost linear relationship; without it he is nothing). On the other hand, I think he just genuinely enjoys collecting information the way he does! He likes assessing all the different ways people behave and why, and how this contributes to how they think and who they are. More insight offers him more ways to preoccupy his endlessly moving mind, but it also offers proximity with the subject in question. This to me is absolutely key--I think so much of his studying the great men is linked to his admiration, his wish to be like them and/or his wish to be close to them.

I’d like to address a quick reference to the drinking event that recently released in the ENG version of the app, if only to expand on/clarify where this is coming from. It essentially featured Sebastian and Napoleon sharing a drink together at a bar and in it, Sebastian speaks to the way that he encountered Napoleon in his life, and the reason why he grew so fond of him. He speaks to a childhood entirely detached from the people of his own time, roving through the shelves of libraries, reading endlessly to fill that void. It was a quote by Napoleon that caught his eye and inspired him, and ostensibly the words of people long past that gave him the strength to keep moving forward. This information, coupled with his strange excitement in Isaac’s rt introduction about how Isaac used to throw hands with people who mocked him seems to bring to the forefront a few things for me. 

Sebastian is highly, highly individualistic: he doesn’t seem to care much about what is conventional or normal, only in what brings him joy and makes others comfortable/happy. His life is highly internal, but I sense no anti-sociality in this removal from societal expectations. He just lives his own way and tries not to trouble anyone. (This is also highly notable in his acute impatience with Dazai’s shenanigans/ineptitudes now and again; while he doesn’t always scold or explode, he shows a sharp and surprising impatience with willful/harmful/irresponsible behavior.) He’s tactful and measured, but highly excitable under the right circumstances. He also doesn’t seem to think much of his own life re: self-derision. Think Leonardo’s rt ending: he insists that the serial killer focus on him and not on MC, he tells her he has no qualms with dying if it means she’ll make it out alive. MC has to be the one to tell him to think more of his own life. As such I wouldn’t put it past him to have enough nerdy reckless energy to test the waters of being a vampire (all the better if it helps him understand the great men).

Comte once said it in an event story a few months ago, but I think he really hit the nail on the head in some respects. He says something to the effect of “His curiosity is admirable, but please Sebastian--some things are to remain private.” Sebastian doesn’t intend to be intrusive or malicious, he just likes knowing things for the sake of knowing. It’s about the cones answering his nerdy desire to piece things together, not stepping on people’s toes. (It’s nice too because Comte seems to understand this and doesn’t see it as a shortcoming/nuisance, he just tries to nudge Sebas in a different direction if he starts prying too close to people’s personal business ;-; pls pardon the Comte love I just can’t help myself)

Enter Johann Georg Faust.

Now then we know very little about the reserved priest doctor, but there are tidbits of information that we can work with (or at the very least, stand out to me a lot). The one I would like to focus on for this explanation is the little blurb that appears when you open the Ikevamp app and it’s loading, providing something like trivia facts for each character. In the ENG app we got those early, but we don’t have the ones for our antagonists. Iirc, Faust’s reads something to the effect of “will often sneak substances into their (as in the castle residents Vlad and Charles’) food to test the effect of his concoctions on vampires.” There have been hints that Faust is to be our mad scientist of sorts; that he is experimenting under Vlad’s orders to find a reliable way to transform a human being into an immortal equivalent to that of a pureblood. But I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I really don’t think Faust is only doing all of this for Vlad. He has his own curiosity that is seeking to be alleviated, perhaps he is satisfied with having another puzzle dumped in his lap--a means to distract himself and exhaust his faculties. 

(One has to wonder if Vlad turned them under the same principle of desperation, and if that were the case, what Faust and Charles might desire more than anything else...Is Faust operating on a kind of necessity to atone? Has he simply given up hope that scientific advancement can happen without someone getting hurt, and so he does his best to balance the good and bad wrought by his explorations? Is he trying to bring someone back himself, is he trying to stall Vlad’s efforts in his own way? I really can’t be sure; there are just too many unanswered questions when it comes to Faust...)

This is where Sebastian and Faust begin to overlap. The pursuit of knowledge, an insatiable curiosity, a capacity to overreach the bounds of appropriate civility/decorum to get the information they want. It could potentially serve as a temptation for Sebas; become a vampire by Vlad’s hand and you can watch history over the span of generations. Assist in the development of an immortal, and you won’t even need someone like Comte to walk you through the different eras of time--you could explore yourself. While Sebas seems to be motivated more by service to other people, there can be no doubt that this could cause a great deal of friction. He will have to work to remind himself why he’s doing what he does and what it means to him, and whether or not becoming a vampire is truly what he wants.

But, there is also the issue of Vlad’s telepathic manipulations. Is it possible that an encounter with Faust (and by extension, proximity to Vlad/meeting Vlad head-on) could result in Sebastian being turned/experimented on without his knowledge? I.e. Vlad using his compulsion and sending him home with a word or memory of what happened. Though that’s certainly not the only possible explanation available. The other thing I was thinking about was a mechanic that was introduced in event stories prior to Sebas’ MS announcement. In the event story, MC and her suitor of choice encounter a street merchant that boasts a serum that can turn people into vampires. They, of course, don’t believe him--but the vial is procured and MC either purposefully or accidentally is exposed to it (i.e she knocks it over and it shatters in Leo’s ES). For a brief time, she exhibits vampiric qualities; she feels the thirst for blood as acutely as any of the other vampires in the mansion. I.e. In Napoleon’s ES, Sebas notices something wrong with MC when they’re just pouring vials of Rouge--the usual prepwork--and she runs out of the room looking dazed. Her odd/new instincts are only alleviated when she bites and drinks Napoleon’s blood, but after that single episode she shows no further signs of vampiric qualities. It’s a temporary but acute transformation. While I have no specifics as to how this is possible, I have to wonder if something similar might be done to Sebastian; whether as a means to test him (does he really want this? find out after the commercial break) or a kind of trick/trap laid by the antagonists. I remain unsure, but these are the two most likely explanations that come to mind if he hasn’t been fully turned.

As to whether or not his vampirism will be permanent, I’ve genuinely been oscillating on that one. I think it’s certainly possible given his intrigue (I never see much fear in him) with vampirism and his probable enjoyment with the prospect of an endless life learning about things (I can literally hear Leonardo screaming internally and I’m ngl it’s sad and funny). But there’s also something about the bite CG that speaks to strain/alarm, to surprise--that he wasn’t at all aware of the changes within himself--and I have to wonder if it might put him off of the prospect (like that he lost control/hurt MC)...Essentially I think it will just really boil down to how the symptoms come about (temporary or permanent), and how much his affections for MC might deter that curiosity/possible wish (if temporary, he might not touch the prospect again--if permanent, THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKING SEXY BECAUSE I’d wager the rest of the route might be MC trying to help him adjust/recover IN A SEXY WAY).

(Note post-translation: I fucking HATE IT HERE. The bite CG text says smth to the effect of “The bloodlust is unbearable--stay away from me; I don’t think I’ll be able to keep from attacking you.”) In light of this information, I am this 👌 close to launching myself straight into the sun. OFC his route is gonna be sweet as all shit and then it’s just gonna go downhill from there with angst. WHYYYYYYYYYY AKIHIKO (at least his voice is mega sexy and heals my wounds OTL) It also says something about “a fate that is greatly moved” so that does suggest a more permanent change than the temporary alternatives I mentioned (though we all know how Cybird loves to jerk us around so I’m leaving that up for debate)...this shit better be hurt/comfort or i s2g im throwing hands

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!

Here’s hoping he’ll make for a delightful surprise! I’m looking forward to it c: 

[evanescentdawn]

MASTERLIST (& REVIEW) OF AUGUST 2021

(3rd august) Happy Birthday, Sunfish

fandom: omniscient reader 

pairing: kim dokja/joonghyuk

summary: It was his birthday, but of course Joonghyuk would rather spend it all day in bed.

notes: this one was not planned; it was a complete surprise. (a common patten im noticing) all warm & fluff and slight angst and slight humour and v much like it! it didn’t come out perfectly as I wanted but yeah, it was good <333 the part where yjh acts like a cat DELIGHTS ME V MUCH I really didn’t except to write more for this ship, tbh, but here we are. also idk, but thinking about this fic makes me want to write a follow-up

(20th august) unnamed

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: fushiguro toji & fushiguro megumi, toji/megamama

summary: Toji was married and he was gonna have a kid soon. He doesn’t have a fucking clue about what's going on. Who thought this was a good idea?

notes: im so v in love with toji & megmama’s relationship. yeah, it’s pretty non-existent in canon and this is me making up 99% everything but it’s fun and im emotional abt this family and do really want to write the next chp but also fuckkk what is her name. it’s hard finding a way around not writing her name because I don’t want to think of one for her bad & because what if gege gives her name later on and I just embarrass myself here for coming for her (hey, I just realised that I could edit the name if gege did that) but forgetting that stuff. speaking of this particular fic. it wasn’t supposed to be apart of my other wip, I was just writing....when I realised it could be a pre-chp for it. toji is honestly so fun to write for love him

(21st august) cravings

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara

summary: 

Nobara bangs open the door with a murderous expression on her face, startling him. “You.” She grits out.

Yuuji blinks. “Me?” He says, pointing at himself.

“I’m going to kill you!” She cries out, and without elaboration dives straight for him.

notes: okay so like I did have another fic for this soulmate prompt idea but it was nowhere near finished for the first day of itakugi week and I was definitely gonna write something. so I soared high and low for a soulmate idea that would be quick to write and found this one that suit them and was cute and wrote a lil at the start of the day, and then it was the evening and okay I was panicking now as I quickly wrote this and kept writing! usually when I do a wip, I stop half-way in despite how I very well know what’s gonna happen next and it’s how I end up with so many unfinished stuff. BUT I KEPT GOING, that motivation pushing me through and heck! would u imagine! I just about managed to finish & post before the day ended!!! it was stressful but honestly best fun I had. the high stakes were fun, and it was so rewarding when I finished!!! love this one lots as well the banter & their dynamic were so so fun to write god I love them. I did have a lot that I didn’t get to write for with this one, though, and it makes me want to write a follow-up but like I always get that urge whenever I reread my stuff, so.

(22rd august) date night

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara

summary:

I want more, she thinks, the drag of his fingers on her hands painful because it’s not enough. Kugisaki Nobara is greedy, and this is nowhere near enough. She wishes that Megumi was here so she wouldn't have to deal with these stupid feelings.

--

or, nobara pines helplessly.

notes: honestly, this is probably my fave out of what I wrote for itakugi week (that I’ve so far finished) and I love it very much!!! this definitely did not come like how my initial idea was and tbh, still want that idea, so will probs write smth on that... anyways love this one so much the pinning the yearning the lil angst (gah, so good) and how it didn’t go all angst (surprised me) and came out hopeful and stuff. I really do want to write a follow-fic where it follows them getting together. will i? who knows

(24th august) What Not To Do 

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara

summary: 

“Are you saying you never — never — that I’ve been thinking you were rejecting me all this time but you didn’t know.“ Alternatively: they are idiots, your honour.

notes: man okay, this day was definitely smth. I went through three wips because somehow none of them were working and genuinely was gonna give up this day but! what do you know! I managed to finish this one! but, uh, I did kind of rush with it and didn’t quite go well so I’m not feeling very favourable towards this one but I do love it! it’s good! just not the best of what it could be & urgh, I always see that. which is annoying, but! I measure fics but how much fun it is and how much I learned from writing it which is a whole lot plenty. never regretted posting it <3

(25th august) hold me, and warm me right up

fandom: golden time

pairing: Oka Chinami/Kaga Kouko

summary:

Oka probably wants to break up, and hates her, now. Oh god.

Kouko buries her face further into her scarf, mind spinning with all the worst possible. Instead of any of them, she feels warmth envelope her hands. 

She startles, peeks out, and finds Oka clasping her hands with hers. 

(In where Kouko is still getting used to this new relationship thing, and Oka is a concerned girlfriend.)

notes: this fic’s existence delights me v much. just. yes. this ship were a surprise to me, along with how I managed to actually finish something! very exciting! also. just. this one is so cute & adorable, I cant. I have a million of thoughts about this lil piece and every time I think of it I desperately want to write something more on them OKAKO IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS I COULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF AAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Climbing

Just a little something quick and funny for everyone this Tuesday morning. 

The desert planet was warm, as most desert planets are, but despite the dry heat, it was hardly comparable to an earth desert which could quickly take your life in under a day if you weren't careful. Honestly, he would have compared the weather to that of the Rockies in early August. Maybe 81 degrees tops.

The ground below their feet was covered by a strange purple sand, and the sky above was a dusky orange to match the orange rocks that lifted themselves high into the sky. There was no wind, which would have been a good thing, he imagined that the sandstorms here could be quite devastating. Despite the heat, or rather, lack of it in his opinion, the others weren’t doing so great. 

When he said others he meant their non-human counterparts, the humans were fine. This temperature was at the higher end of Krill’s comfort scale despite him being a creature that photosynthesized light. Sunny looked downright uncomfortable, which made sense her planet was comfortably tropical when it came to climate, and sky ash kept the sun from hitting the ground on most days out of the year.

The three of them and a group of marines were led across a thin dessert and up towards a small outcropping of orange cliffs. Commander Vir kept his eyes wide scanning the surroundings. One might have assumed he was looking for threats, and to the watching aliens, that’s exactly what it looked like. However, he was honestly just wishing he had thought to bring a camera. In that case he was going to have to attempt and draw this landscape later, not that he was all that great as an artist, but he was at least possible enough to make his ideas known.

Internally he was kicking himself.

By the time they reached the foot of the hills, Krill was lagging behind, and one of the marines had dropped back with an umbrella helpfully casting a shadow over the small figure. Sunny stood at his back like she always did. He doubted there was anything that could make her leave his side even if it meant hurting herself to do it, so he slowed his pace.

“Commander Vir, thank Sanctum’s rings you’re here.”

He stopped atop a bare patch of orange rock and bowed, “Councilor.”

The rundi woman adjusted her black robes and turned to look back towards the outcropping of rocks. Commander Vir could hear it now, a small voice shrill and defiant throwing curses at the gathered assembly members and their accompanying guard.

“What’s going on.” He wondered. Upon hearing his question, the assemblywoman motioned over one of the other delegates, the Gibb representative, who was looking both embarrassed and exasperated. Commander Vir could understand why, the Gibb must have had a hard few months with his countryman (the scientist) going off his rocker and capturing an entire prison only to experiment brutally on it’s inmates. Tensions were a bight tight between his species, and those from Earth and Mars. Commander Vir knew enough not to totally blame them. Their species were known for the commonality of mental instability, delusions, and psychotic breaks.

Statistically it wasn’t that common, but it was more common than it was even with humans, who were known to be highly mentally unstable.

“I am afraid,  the second Gibb representative, other than I, has experienced the reduction.” The Gibb’s five spidery eyes stared on glassily at the commander as he continued, “Usually we would just let him go quietly to return home in peace, but those circumstances remain difficult when his delusions have convinced him that he is a mighty warlord and we are his enemy. Even that would not be so much of an issue, but he has found himself  an impenetrable fortress.

Commander Vir was almost 100% sure that was exaggerated, but decided to keep his mouth shut first asking to SEE what the situation was before proceeding.

They walked up on the scene to the equivalent of maniacal laughter. He craned his neck upwards at the rock face.

“Look at you, you WORMS! You cannot DEFEAT ME!” 

He could finally see what the issue was now. The Gibb’s little fortress didn’t appear to have any doors that he could see. The only opening was at least fifty feet up the rock and about two feet by three feet. A hover craft wouldn’t be able to come near the hole as it wouldn’t be able to squeeze into the space between the rocks. Going in from above was also not an option since the cliff face rose to at least 100 feet in the air above that and was too rounded at the top to land a craft.

“See my impenetrable walls!” The gibb yelled, “Even against you humans I-”

“Are you kidding me!”

The gibb looked down in annoyance to being cut off. The entire delegation turned to look at the human standing with his arms crossed one eyebrow raised clearly unimpressed.

“You think you can challenge me human!” 

Behind him a few of the marines stood smiling clearly on the same wavelength as their captain, “I… well it’s not a challenge, but I’m seriously asking…. Are you serious?”

The gibb looked quite confused now, “I AM the end!”

“Well ok, sure you are.” The human said voice slightly exasperated as if he was talking to a small child, “In that case does The End or the lord of the rock face have any idea what a primate is?”

Seeing the confusion, the captain continued taking a seat on a rock as he began to unlace his boot, “Humans are primates, and so are monkeys. We share a common ancestor that lived in trees.” He flexed his fingers at the Gibb, “See these, hands used for gripping onto branches…. For climbing specifically.” He set his boot to the side, and the other marines began  following his lead rolling up their pant legs and lining up their combat boots in a neat row on the ground.

The commander lifted his foot, “See these, they are the exact same thing as hands, accept evolved for running. We used to use them to swing through trees.” He flexed his foot and wiggled his toes causing a murmur to rise up from the crowd, “I can pick up things with my feet.” He rolled up his pant leg, “So Here is what I am going to do. I am going to use my magic powers of hands and feet and drag your idiot ass back down here faster than you can say, oh yeah I probably should have known that humans were originally evolved to live in trees.”

Without prompting, the other humans came to join him at the base of the wall. Above them, the Gibb was spluttering angrily while the rest of the delegation looked on in mild interest. 

“But you CAN:T humans can already swim and run, you cant ALSO climb.”

The human didn’t bother to look up, instead reaching down to rub some of the purple dirt into his palms, “Don’t suppose you've heard the song. I can do what you can do but I can do it better? No, well same premise, I can run, I can swim, I can jump, with a little help I can fly, but since I forgot my jetpack at home, I may as well as show off some natural selection.”

The alien delegation watched in interest as the human gripped onto his first rok, and by an excellent show of strength, hauled himself up the wall. His other hand followed, as did his other two feet. The toes of his right foot probed the rock face gripping onto minute ledges in the stone just as his fingers did. The prosthetic, Drev-designed, foot struggled, but he made good time up the first few yards. 

A team of the marines went with him. A few of them scuttling up the wall like spiders.

At about 20 feet the assent grew more difficult, and it seemed as if there was no way to go, but the humans didn’t seem bothered. Gripping onto ledges and protrusions, despite taking longer to think their path through. Commander Vir had fallen behind struggling with his non-human leg.

Eventually he simply gave a curse, and a small blade snapped from the toe of the prosthetic.

He drew his leg back and slammed it into the stone soon overtaking the other maines as he was able to place a foothold wherever he pleased.

“That's hardly fair.” Ramirez muttered.

“Oh yes Ramirez, I am so sorry you have all of your legs. Let me cry for you.” The Commander muttered sarcastically as he clambered up the wall.

“That’s cheating.” Another human called

“No, I’m just evening the playing field for a cripple.” 

The council members below looked on in wonder and amazement as the humans, somehow, clambered their way up a vertical face speaking normally with each other as they did. As always, the leader of the humans seemed to have no concept that he was crippled.

Above the Gibb had gone quiet sinking further back into his hole.

The humans all made it to the top safely, and rather smugly, and with their superior strength, what little fight the Gibb could put up was lacing and rather pathetic. Two of the humans rigged up a rope to a steel hook driven into the stone, and the commander himself picked up the gibb under one arm like a troublesome child. From there, each of the humans clambered easily down the rope as if they were simply walking. Some of them chose to slide straight down, while others simply walked backwards down the face of the wall using the rope to support themselves at a horizontal.

Commander Vir only required the use of a single arm as he made his descent. And dumped the Gibb on the ground at the feet of the council rubbing purple dirt from his hands. He nodded to the council, and then just simply walked away nonchalantly to recover his shoes. 

The council thought it might be a good idea not to tell the humans how long they had been there trying to come up with an idea. 

It would probably be prudent to keep this little fiasco unknown to the public. If people knew that it had taken a one legged human, and his strange hand feet thirty minutes to do what the council had failed to do in days, than there might be some questions raised about their own effectiveness.