#ANYWAYS im goin to sleep GOODNIGHT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

boygiwrites · 1 year ago

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Harley D. Dixon 2

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note. Get ready for the first major change in the canon story-line hehe

Please enjoy reading! :)

"You want me to sing tonight, chicken?"

It's way past my bed-time. The sky looks like a giant film of blue cellophane above us, with millions of little white holes poked through. I pick out the shiniest one, 'cause that one's my Momma. Then I realise I gotta pick one out for Uncle Merle, now, too, so I pick the one right next to Momma's and wish him goodnight in my head.

After my Dad dragged all our stuff further into the woods, because we shouldn't sleep next to people we don't trust, we curled up in his camping chair and we haven't moved since. I'm wrapped up in a grubby gray blanket that I think used to be white, 'cause it's all we got, and I'm wearing two pairs of socks plus my Dad's jacket but it's still cold. I feel like a baby joey in a Momma kangaroo's pouch. Through the trees, I can see the main camp's fires all glittering like tiny orange fireflies and I can hear 'em all laughing. I think they're celebrating. Me and my Dad — We're mourning.

Tomorrow, they're heading back to the city to look for my Uncle Merle, even though we all know he's dead already. He's dead and he's gone and he ain't never coming back, so why does my Daddy wanna go get killed, too? Don't he know I need him?

"I don't wanna go to sleep."

"Well," He reminds me, "Sometimes it don't matter what little girls want. I'm sayin' it's time to sleep, so it's time to sleep."

If he wanted to talk about it, I'd tell him that I don't wanna go to sleep because it means that when I wake up, it'll be the day my Daddy either dies in the city or he doesn't, and then I'll be all alone forever. I don't wanna pick a star out for my Dad. But I don't tell him any of this.

"Now, you want me to sing, or not?" He asks me again.

"I said," And half-way through I'm huffing this out, I know I've made a mistake, but I keep goin', anyway, because at least if I make him super angry, he might wanna talk. Unlike Officer Rick, my Dad is easy to make angry. "I don't wanna go to sleep."

I feel his stomach fill with air underneath me. "Scuse me?"

I twist to face him. Half his face is glowing from the fire, and the other half is glowing just from how mad he is.

"I... don't... wanna," I spell it out real slow. That's what people do when someone's not listenin' properly. "Go... to... sleep."

I hear main camp laughing again. For just a second, I wish I was over there, instead.

I look my Dad in the eye. It's really hard.

"You lookin' for a spanking, Harley Dixon?"

"No," My voice wobbles.

"'Cause you keep back-chattin' me, that's where you're headed."

"But—"

"What I just say?"

I snap my mouth shut like a kettle lid. Does he even have the words in him? Do I gotta beat on his chest 'till they come flying out? Do I gotta kick and yell and scream 'till he can't hold 'em in anymore? What do I gotta do to make him talk? How am I meant to like it over here, in this lonely camp with no Momma and no Uncle and maybe after tomorrow, no Dad, neither?

"Quit that look, Harley Dixon. I'm warnin' you."

"No."

"You really gonna make me repeat myself?"

I snap.

"Maybe I'on care!" I shout. We're both shocked. Then, he's about to lay me over his knee and whoop me 'till I'm black and blue, but I don't stop for nothin'. "Maybe I'on give a crap! I said I don't wanna go to sleep, so why you makin' me? I don't wanna! Uncle Merle's dead! He's dead and you don't even care!"

"How can you say tha—"

"You don't care because you're goin' back to the city tomorrow and you're gonna die, and I'm gonna be alone again, and you don't even care! Uncle Merle is dead! Just like Momma, he's dead!"

"We don't know that, Harley."

"Yeah, we do! Rick killed 'im, and now he's dead."

"That ain't true. Harley, you listen—"

He grabs my arms, but I smack him away. He gets angrier.

He points a finger in my face. "Do not fuckin' hit me, girl."

"I'on care."

Now he really grabs me, and it's so tight I can't smack him at all, or wriggle, or even look away. I see two miniature versions of our campfire in his eyes, burning away. It's a familiar look. I start to cry. I wish I wasn't here. I wanna be in main camp, where they're laughing.

"You stop this bullshit right now, Harley." He says, low. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but if it don't stop right this second, you're gonna regret it. You understand? Don't you ever hit me again. I'm leavin' tomorrow, and that's final."

"But why?"

"'Cause I'm choosin' to believe in yer Uncle Merle. You heard what all them said. There's a chance he ain't dead, and that's a chance I'm gonna take, because I'm a Dixon. Dixons look out for each other." He gives me a little shake. "If it were either one of us in that city, he'd be raisin' Hell on his way there already. Now, I don't wanna hear another word outcher mouth 'bout this. No more tears, neither. Got it?"

It's still not good enough. I want more.

"You wouldn't go back for Momma." I mutter, before I even realise that's what I've chosen to say. Somehow, that's the worst thing I've told my Dad all night, and I didn't even need to shout it. We stare at each other for a bit. "You wouldn't go back for her. You killed her."

I promised I'd never bring it up again, but there it is. I said it.

I think I might throw up again.

Just like that, our argument is over. He doesn't say anything, and then I don't say anything, either, and the not-saying-anything keeps going until we're back to sitting against each other in silence. The moon is high in the trees, now. One by one, the orange blips in the distance die. The chatter gets quieter and quieter until it's gone, and then me and my Dad are truly alone. He holds me tight, but it doesn't feel nice like it did before. It just feels like we're back to square one, because we are, and everything is a little to the left. Like when you get a pebble in the corner of your shoe, and you gotta walk a little funny to pretend it's not there, but it is, and you can feel it, and you hate it.

"You want me to sing for you, chicken?"

This time, I just say yes.

I watch the cube van drive into the distance until it's a white speck.

Dale stands next to me, even after everyone else has shuffled back to camp. "You've probably heard this from ten other people by now," Dale says, holding onto the strap of his heavy sniper rifle, "But your Dad? Well, he's going to be just fine. Toughest man in camp, I'd say."

My Dad, he's tough as nails, and he could shoot a walnut off a fencepost from a mile away, but he's also just a man. He's just skin and bones and blood like everyone else, like me, like deer and squirrels, and a bite from a dead person will kill him just the same. I don't say this to Dale.

He doesn't seem to mind. "Do you remember your first day here?"

A strange thing to ask. 'Course I remember. "What about it?"

"Things were a little more desperate, back then. We'd just ran out of our last tin of beans. People were hungry. I remember your Dad spent the whole morning telling people to leave him alone, because everybody was just begging him to go hunting. I think I did, too." Dale laughs. "One by one, he shot them all down. We were all so sure we'd have to start rationing. Then, the next morning, I go to wash my face behind the RV, and what do I see? Your Dad, dinged up and covered in sweat, dragging this... just... huge, simply huge... deer, into camp. I was gobsmacked. I remember thinking, 'who on Earth could have possibly convinced this stubborn man to go hunting'? Then, later in the day, I see him handing you a bowl of fried deer meat, happy as a clam, and that's when I knew he did it all for you. Tooth and nail, he made sure you were fed. And that's how I know he's coming back."

I think about all the times my Dad's done somethin' like that for me, like with Ronnie, and I feel a little better. My Momma once said my Dad would crawl back out of Hell on hot coals for me, and that I should never forget that. I feel bad for forgetting.

"I didn't tell him I love him, before he left." I admit to Dale. "I was real mean to him last night. I wish I told him."

"That's okay," Dale bumps my shoulder, and when I look up, there's a smile in his white beard. He winks. "I think he knows. Dads always know."

Something about Dale's cheeky attitude makes me giggle. I think I believe him.

"Now, lucky for us, we're certainly not short on food around here anymore. So, how about we go get you some breakfast?"

The day goes by like it always does, 'cause it don't know any better.

I can see Amy and Andrea fishing from the bank of the lake. Their boat looks like a little grain of salt in the middle of a giant green coin.

I'm up to my knees in the water. I'm trying to catch frogs. I'm missing. Shane and Carl are here, too, because even though we ate a whole sleeve of cheese and onion crackers for breakfast, Officer Shane says frog legs are gonna be all the rave, soon, when the peaches and jerky run out. We told him that's super gross, but he just smacked his lips and told us to grab our hats. We gotta do things like this, now. Things like sharing one tube of toothpaste, and only using two squares of toilet paper when you gotta go, and the adults gotta try and make it sound fun.

I hear Carl somewhere down the rocks, going awww and man 'cause he keeps missing, too. All I know 'bout Carl is he can't spell 'adventure'.

"Hey, man, it happens. How you doin' over there, Harley?" Officer Shane asks me. "You managed to catch any of the little suckers yet?"

"No, not yet." I say. "But I can see 'em."

When we first got down here, Shane asked us kids to provide a little muscle for him. Shane's got plenty of muscle, already. He was just kiddin'. He does that a lot, and his laugh is real loud. He also gives high fives that knock you on your butt, and he's got a heavy walk and a dog tag. I think he must have taught little league, or somethin', before, 'cause he talks like a teacher. All fun and games, but also lots of rules. Like how if you say a bad word, he flicks you on the ear and tells you to mind your language.

I'm still not used to any of these people talking to me. I think they're just glad I ain't biting and hitting on them, anymore.

"How many's in there?" Shane wades over to me.

The only reason I trust Shane is because he's an adult, and adults can be trusted.

I count the frogs. "Um... Three."

"Three? Hm, talk about a gold mine, huh?" He laughs and, yep, it's real loud. "Let's see if I can't help you out here."

He sets our bucket down, which has two wet frogs slipping around inside it.

He rubs his hands together. "C'mon, girl. Let's catch us some frog legs."

He says they eat frog legs in France. I never knew that before today. French people are weirdos.

"You gotta get 'em quick, 'cause they're quicker." I warn Shane. It's something my Dad says 'bout squirrels and possums, so I say it now, too.

"Sure are." Shane agrees. "How 'bout I scare 'em out, and you try grabbin' one?"

"With my hands?"

"What? You plannin' on using your feet?" Shane grins, and he splashes me. I giggle. "C'mon. Get ready."

Officer Shane rolls up his blue sleeves. I take three long steps backward and squat a little, like I'm playin' basketball or somethin', and then Shane grabs the metal bucket and clangs it against the rocks, and all three of the fat froggies come bursting out into the water like wind-up toys. I almost panic — almost — but that's what idiots do, so I steel myself, which means I'm not an idiot. I lunge at the closest frog and wrap my hands around the green blob it makes under the ripples.

When I pull my hands out, I realise I've caught it. It's real wriggly and its skin is cold.

I jump a little, smiling wide. "Look, Shane! I got one!"

"Way to go, Harley!" Shane says, and if I pretend hard enough, it sounds like my Dad's accent praising me instead. "Look at you!"

I drop the frog in the bucket. I hear cheering, and when I look out, I see it's Amy and Andrea. They're clapping. I guess they were watching. Carl comes hopping over, too, and tells me I did a good job. I know he's a bastard cop, and I know his friend murdered my Uncle, but maybe Shane ain't so bad. He makes me miss my teachers. Maybe this group ain't so bad. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

We call it a day after that, and we squeeze out all the water in our clothes on the gravel shore.

"C'mon, y'all," Shane says, "Time to haul butt back to camp."

What he really means to say is ass.

The sky goes from blue to purple, and soon, it'll be black.

We're gonna have a feast tonight. A fish feast.

Dale, who's sitting up on the RV, because he's like a barnacle on a boat, reads us a poetry book while we scrape scales off of fish with plastic spoons. After the book runs out, we pop cassettes in the radio. It's nothin' like what my Dad listens to. It's too nice.

I try really hard not to think about my stomach. It hurts real bad, which is what happens when you're nervous. I realise, a little guiltily, that I almost haven't thought about my Daddy or my Uncle Merle all day, until just now. I say sorry to them in my head, because I didn't do it on purpose, I promise. I was just focused on other things, like doing dishes, and getting my hair brushed by Lori, and strippin' fish skin. It was easy, during the day. But it's gettin' late, now, and every minute that goes by, I'm closer to being the only kid in camp with nobody to tuck me into bed.

I'm standing on a crate, which means I'm almost as tall as all the ladies. Makes me feel a little better. All women remind me of my Momma.

Maybe if I ask, Lori can tuck me in tonight.

"Hey, Harley, you're doin' real good over there." Jacqui tells me. The sun's on her shoulder. "Doin' better than me, at least."

I mumble a thank you, because it's good manners. I done dressed plenty of fish before. It's easy. Like peelin' bananas.

"Our Dad used to take us girls fishing all the time." Andrea tells us. "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you name it. We were out on the water."

"Sounds fun," Lori says. "I always wanted to go fishing with Rick and Carl, but it never happened. We were indoor people."

Jacqui laughs. "Not anymore, you're not."

Lori makes a face. "You don't gotta tell me twice."

"What about you, Harley?" Asks Amy. "Your Dad ever take you fishing?"

There it is again; my stomach climbing up the back of my throat like a balloon. "Uh," I mumble. "Yeah. A lot."

Carol asks me, "You like it? Being on the water?"

"It's okay if you don't." Amy scrunches up her nose, smiling. "I was never that into it. Motion sickness 'n all."

I'm about to say no, I didn't like it, but something stops me. It's true, I never liked stabbing the alive worms on the hook, or gettin' sunscreen smeared all over my face, or carrying all them heavy buckets full of crayfish and bluegills back to the truck, but that doesn't matter. I was with my Dad. And I liked that. So, "I liked it," I say. "We went every weekend, in Dad's boat. It was sorta old, but he liked it a whole lot. He let me name it."

Lori smiles. Lori loves when people tell nice stories. "What'd you choose?"

"I named it after our old dog." I tell her. Hey, I'm smiling. "His name was Tank. So, Dad's boat was, 'The Tank'."

Lori pouts. She loves animals, too. "Aw. That's nice. We had a dog."

"What was his name?"

"Fido," She scoffs. "You can thank Carl for that one."

"I can't imagine Daryl lettin' anybody tell him what to do," Amy chuckles. "He's always so grouchy."

Dale must be eavesdropping, because he leans over his fold-out chair and calls down to us, "Now, now, remember that time with the deer?"

The story he told me this morning, to make me feel better.

All at once, the women start giggling together, and nodding, yes, they do remember that time with the deer. I catch it, like a stomach bug, and I start giggling, too, because I guess it is kinda funny. My Dad, with his squinty eyes and angry mouth and big, scarred fists, doin' whatever I tell him to. I never saw it like that, because it's always the other way 'round. For the first time today, I'm thinking of my Dad, and it doesn't hurt, not one bit.

"Like a gaggle of geese over there," Shane shakes his head from the fire. He's laughin', too. Bunch of eavesdroppers, these people. "Get back to work!"

"Yes, sir!" Andrea salutes, rolling her eyes.

We can't stop giggling.

The fish fry is, basically, a family barbeque.

My dinner is hot, and greasy, and it's even got yellow rice and onions in it, like takeaway. Takeaway is always good. Around the fire, all I see are happy faces and all I hear are jokes, and gasps, and laughter. They're talking about college, and how Lori used to wear the ugliest skirts, and how, yes, Shane can confirm, he was there to see it and, no, it wasn't pretty. When I look through the trees, I imagine me and my Daddy's sad little camp on the other side, abandoned. I was right. It is better over here. I hope he would think so, too.

"W— Hey! They were in style, back then!" Lori holds her fork up, like a pointing finger. "Everyone was wearin' them!"

"Oh, I remember." Shane shakes his head. "N— No, listen, I remember, alright! So short it was like a damn belt!"

Amy slides off her tennis shoe and launches it at Shane's legs. "You can't argue with fashion, Shane!"

He laughs. "Oh, that's what that was? Fashion?"

"Hey, I got some pretty nasty pictures of you with that damn perm on your head, so you might wanna quit while you're ahead." Lori sasses.

We all picture Shane with a mop of curly poodle hair, prolly posing like He-Man, and we all roar with laughter again.

Up until the very last grain of rice gets eaten, we talk about everything and anything, because stories are all we got to give each other anymore, Dale says. Dale talks about how he planned to take a trip around the state with his wife, in their RV, but she passed away before it could happen. So, when the world ended, he was in a gas station, buying ice creams and lookin' at maps, 'cause he was doin' the trip on his own. He says he's glad that all the small decisions he's made in life has led him to this quarry, with these people. Everybody calls him a sap, but he gets a side-hug from Jacqui. He smiles over the fire at me. Andrea and Amy talk more about their Dad.

I talk about the tyre swing I used to have, in my yard. Shange suggests building one here, too.

Jim talks a little about his old job as a mechanic. Morales talks about how much he misses his recliner.

"Aw, man, I'm telling you," He groans, like he's in a deep, deep pain. "It was remote-controlled, and it had blue-tooth, and everything."

Shane slaps him on the back. "Too bad the world ended; Had to get off your fat ass!"

More and more warm, silly laughter.

It's around us kid's bed-time when Dale checks his watch.

The other kids all complain straight away, but we get dragged away, anyway. I can hear my Daddy's voice in my head, telling me sometimes it don't matter what little girls want. Lori and Carol take us around the back of Shane's Jeep, where all the bathroom stuff gets kept, like the gallon jugs of water, the towels, and stuff Glenn brings back from runs. We brush our teeth, and splash our hair with water, and use baby wipes on our armpits.

I can see the tippy-tops of the city's tallest buildings from here, like skinny black popsicle sticks in the smog. I keep lookin' back, for my Dad.

I'm lookin' right now. Everyone else is trying to find Sophia's hairbrush in one of the bags, but I'm not helping. I can't look away.

There's a figure, stumbling up the road.

At first, I think it's my Dad, somehow. When you're expecting somethin' so much and for so long, and with all your heart, it's the first thing you think of. Even if it makes no sense. If they were really back, they'd all be together; Glenn, T-Dog, Daddy, and Rick, because my Daddy would make them all stick together, 'cause he's smart like that. But the shadow's alone. And he's got a limp. Just a little one. He hop-shuffle-hop-shuffles closer to us. No, no it's not my Dad. There's no crossbow; no big boots, no backpack. The shoulders aren't wide enough. Actually, the shoulders aren't wide at all. They're droopy. Too droopy, like they're... like they're melting off the bone, like hot cheese melts off pizza.

I hear a gurgle through the night. That's when it all makes sense.

"Walkers!"

And one second after that, the fish feast goes to Hell.

Someone snatches my wrist. We go rushing back into camp, where there's people, and lights, and noise. And shouting. Lots and lots of shouting; so much shouting it's like being stuck inside a beehive. I see flashes of legs and t-shirts and hands pulling me around, toward the bonfire. The bonfire must be brighter than a lighthouse out here, in the dark. Suddenly, I'm noticing everything wrong with the fish fry. The smells, the noise. I'm remembering my Daddy's rules, 'bout how loud is dangerous and dangerous is stupid and oh God — I can hear Amy shrieking like a piglet, near the RV. I hear shotguns pumping and bullets exploding and sloppy plops of skin falling of the dead people afterwards. I'm screaming.

The bag — The emergency bag, the one in our tent. I should grab it, right? That's what I'm supposed to do, right? So we can live?

"Lori!" Shane's hollering. "Carl! Harley! Where are you?"

"We're over here!" Lori cries.

"Start moving!"

Everywhere, everywhere, legs, legs, legs, all rotten and slimy and dead. Then, a gap, filled with darkness. The tent is out there. The bag.

I can make it. I know I can.

"Harley!"

That's Lori, screaming like she's never screamed before, because I just broke away from her, and I can feel something hot sliding down my arm, and it must be blood, 'cause she must have ripped my arm open with her short razor nails. I run straight for the gap in the wall of dead people, and I throw myself past them, like they're bowling pins and I'm the ball, and then I'm on the other side, in the dark, dark woods, running, running, running, all by myself. I remember the path to our camp. Big rock, little tree, old fence. It's all there, it's just covered in night.

I hear Shane yelling for me, and Morales, too, and more screaming, more dying.

A dead man slams into me. We go tumbling into the branches and the leaves, and then down a little hill, and then into a ditch. I smack his growling face away from mine, and I kick his stomach, and I wriggle away. The dirt is slipping away from underneath me, like dust, but the roots are easy to climb so I climb those, and the dead man follows me out. He's swiping at my ankles, scampering for my legs, slobbering on his lips.

His nails catch my arm.

I see the tent.

I'm running again, but only for a second. It's my pants. They're stuck. The dead man's grabbing onto them. I kick his fingers off.

"Get away," I grunt.

The pebbly ground barks under my shoes when I tear off again, and it only takes a couple heartbeats for me to reach my Dad's camping chair, and then the black fire pit, and then the truck, and then the tent. I rip open the zipper and fall inside. The bag, the bag, the bag. I scramble for my Dad's sleeping cot, and drop to my knees, and pat around all the spare shirts and pants and socks and blankets he's got stuffed under here, praying, please God, it's gotta be here, like he says it is. My fingers hit something soft, then something hard. A buckle. I grab. I pull.

It's the bag. It's the bag, with the compass and the rope and the matches. I did it.

A branch cracks. I look over my shoul—

The dead man crashes on top of me, all two hundred pounds, through the tent lining. He squirms against me like a finger in a glove.

I scuttle backward as fast I can, under the cot. The dead man flops and turns and twists until he finds the tent opening, and he slithers inside, 'cause he's a hungry animal and I'm his food. An electric lamp clicks on underneath my foot. The dead man's shadow gets projected onto all four of the tent walls; big, like the bogeyman. I hug the bag like a teddy bear and then that's it, and there's nowhere else to go. His fingers reach for me, and they look like big, black, dead spiders, all curled up. I see his face, now. It's shredded. It's beaten.

It's Sophia's Dad.

Something clamps around my shoe, and it's his teeth. A whole row of thick, white teeth. A bite.

I squeeze my eyes closed and hope my shoe's thick enough to keep me safe. There's nothin' else I can do.

Then, a great, big bang.

Then, hot, slippery puddles of blood, and little bits of neck and skin and jaw, splattered across my face. He slumps. Is it over? It's over? His head's cracked open like an egg, and his brains are leaking out like yolk. There's a bullet hole between my two feet. That means — That means someone shot his shadow, through the tent. Only someone with a very good shot could have made that, without killing me at the same time. I claw my way out from under all the blankets, and the body, and the cot. I can hear voices shouting, Oh Fuck, Oh God, and, Where are you, baby, and, If you hit my daughter, I will fucking end you.

The electric lamp flutters off.

The tent is ripped open.

I look up. I'm blinded by big, white circles of flashlight light. Someone gasps.

My chin crumples 'cause I'm crying, like a little baby.

Rick's standin' there, Sherriff's hat on, revolver smoking. Shane's there, too, wild-eyed, and very, very sweaty, with a shotgun. There's Glenn, panting. They look at the blood on the blankets, and the blood on my face, and their dead friend on the floor, with half a head. Then, they see the scratches on my arm, and for some reason, some of them look like they're about to throw up all over themselves. But the person in front, the person that got here first, that's my Dad. It's my Dad, and he's alive. He doesn't even stop to look, like the others. He doesn't care.

"Harley," He chokes, like he's been punched, and he drops to his knees in front of me. He presses me into his chest. He's alive. He's alive.

I'm alive.

"Daddy," I cough-sob, 'cause I can't help it.

I only ever call him Daddy instead of Dad in my head, or when I'm really, really upset.

He must notice, 'cause the hug gets tighter; safer. "Baby, I'm here. You're alright. You're alright. S'alright, now."

I bury my face in his sweaty, stinky, dirt-smeared neck, and I never wanna come back out. I sob and I sob and I sob, and I sob some more. He pets my hair and shushes me, like how he does when I get nightmares. We rock back and forth. I sob, sob, sob.

Someone says my Dad's name real weird, like they're boutta keel over, and only then I remember me and my Dad aren't the only two people in the world. Footsteps crinkle on the tent canvas. Someone kneels next to me. It's Rick. He takes off his hat and sucks in a breath, glances at the others — He steels himself — and then he gently grabs my green sleeve, and I wriggle into my Dad, who's lettin' him do this, and he slides it up my arm. Fresh claw marks, and blood, pouring down my skin. We stare at my arm for a long time. They glance at Sophia's Dad. Why are we staring at my arm?

I look at Rick. I look at Glenn; at Shane. I look at my Dad. He's gone white as a ghost.

"Harley, what is that?" He whispers to me.

I look back at my arm. It's just some stupid scratches. I wipe 'em away, 'cause I want 'em gone. "It's nothin'."

"Harley," He says again, this time with a very clear, very angry, no-nonsense voice. "You look me in the eye. What is that?"

Something is very, very wrong.

Glenn has to walk away.

"Wh—?" I shake my head, sniffing. Why do I feel like I'm in trouble? I didn't do nothin' wrong. "It's nothin'. Lori, she scratched me."

"It was Lori?" Rick raises his eyebrows, like it's very, very important that I'm not lying right now.

I'm not lying. Rick, he's a liar, but not me.

"Uh-huh." I nod hard, so they believe me. "It was Lori. H— He got me, too, I think, but it don't hurt. I promise. He ain't do it too hard."

I didn't say the right thing.

They're all looking at each other. They're speaking without talking, and I don't like it.

"Daddy, what's goin' on?" I'm mumbling now, 'cause I only want my Daddy to hear me, 'cause I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't know what I did wrong, and I don't know what they're thinking about, but I'm sorry, and I'll never do it again. I was so busy worrying about the teeth in my shoe that I wasn't thinking about anything else. I think I should've been, though, and I'm sorry I wasn't. I'm sorry. All I know is that I'm sorry. I don't know why, but I'm sorry. Daddy picks me up, even though he's told me over and over I'm too old for that, now. He's shuddering.

"We'll check Lori's nails." Rick tells him, nice and steady. His police-man voice. "If there's blood under them—"

"This bastard's got blood unn'er his nails!" Dad gives Sophia's Dad a hard kick in the head. I shriek. "The stupid fuck! It don't fuckin' matter!"

"It does matter. It does." Rick keeps saying. "We can't make any conclusions. Not 'til then. We just can't."

"You wanna talk 'conclusions', officer? Let's talk 'conclusions'."

"Daryl, we'll figure this out."

"How the Hell did y'all even let this fuckin' happen?" Dad yells. "You're like a fuckin' bad luck charm, you people!"

"This is nobody's fault." Rick says, but he sounds like he knows he's lying.

I can hear people panicking far away, back at camp, in whispers. Glenn ran back there a few minutes ago.

"First my brother, now my—?" Dad cuts himself off. He's about to cry.

Nobody's got anything to say.

We listen to the sounds of leaves rustling and crickets chirping and the distant yelling and the breeze and my Daddy's big strong heartbeat, which is goin' buh-bump, buh-bump, buh-bump under my ear, real, real fast.

Shane steps forward, but it's all over already.

This is what it was like the night Tank got put down. I realise that I'm like Tank. Tank was dying. I'm a dying dog. The scratches on my arm, I get it now. They're from the dead man and they're from Lori at the exact same time, and until we know which it is, that means I'm dying. He scratched me — I remember, now. He got me. He did. I don't wanna be dying. I was alive just a second ago. I swear I was.

Unlike yesterday, Daddy doesn't bat Rick off when puts a hand on his shoulder. Something changed in the city today. I think we're all one team, now, even if my Daddy likes to bite and snap and blame. There's no more line between them and us. There's not two camps, anymore. Only one.

The stars are bright, tonight. I watch them twinkle over my Dad's head.

"If this happens," Daddy's voice cracks. "Every single one of you are gonna be real, real sorry."

Author's Note. Yep, you guessed it, Jim survives! And Harley is the one that gets attacked.

No more ominous hole-digging for you, Jim. Sorry.

Phew. This took a long time to write. I had to re-work almost every scene about four times, because some things just weren't working, and I had to delete some others. It all worked out in the end, though. Here we are with chapter two.

Please let me know what you think! :)

#the walking dead #twd fanfiction #twd #daryl dixon #parent daryl dixon #daryl dixon daughter #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon twd #rick grimes #angst #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #daryl dixon x reader

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iz0p0dz · 2 months ago

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u fuckers r lucky im goin 2 sleep now

need my beauty rest

or ig ugly rest since i look horrendous

anyway

goodnight mooties

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rosegoldenatlas · 4 months ago

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hey atlas

goin to bed

uhhhhhh

had a meeting with a college person today about my portfolio. learned a lot. had some plans change

one of my friends is going through a rough time and i want to help them but i also know that they want some space and im trying to respect that but i feel really guilty theres nothing i can do to help them

not to mention im feeling guilty about a lot of other stuff. like its to the point i can physicaly feel the weight of my guilt. not great.

still got no work done today

i mean i did some coding but not that much

i feel like shit

i hope your having a better night then i am

and i hope you get some sleep

your the best

goodnight

I hope you slept well, and I'm glad you finally got someone to look at your portfolio, my brother is going to Ringling tomorrow so someone can look at his!

Oh, yeah I've been there. It sucks but all you gotta do is make sure they know that you're there for them if they want to talk or sit with you or even just to get a distraction from the bad stuff. Of course use your own judgement because I don't know them personally but I know stuff like that can help.

Hey. No. Don't feel guilty. You are doing great. I don't care if you're falling a tad behind on schoolwork, that stuff is bullshit usually anyways. Just take things one at a time. Just one assignment every night can help. In all seriousness please just take care of yourself.

My night is alright, hope you're doing better now though!!

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red-velvet-0w0 · 20 days ago

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goin to sleep goodnight everybody hope you have a nice day tomorow and all that shit idk im NOT feeling it today and i might end up worse tomorow i dont care anymore i dont care about myself i hope i die in some horrible accident tomorow who knows anyways only one way to find out is to sleep or whatever goodnight!

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star--anon · 1 year ago

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I just fucking forgot asks dont work like DMs but anyway its damn near 4am im so im goin to sleep goodnight sweet dreams i love you

wHY are you awake at FOUR AM

also I had really good dreams I put sugar under my pillow and coffee creamer too

the creamer is just for texture tho

#I am however. somewhat sick #also coming home from school to 3 asks from you was about the most joyful experience I've ever had on tumblr

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i-live-on-bunny-hill · 2 years ago

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hello online diary

today was pretty okay!

woke up and it was done. guess that was his answer to sunday. if he left me over something as trivial as that AND without communicating, then its obvious that going through with any kind of talk or even any kind of relationship with him would’ve been pointless.

anyways, i have to give oscar medicine 2 times a day now. one of them i mix with his food and the other i have you syringe into his mouth. poor baby, it probably tastes soo bad. i’m really happy though because he’s back to his old self c: i missed his sweet affection.

i also ordered a wig today. It is long and purple and curly. i think its rly cute but i think it might look weird on me. its ok tho it was rlly cheap esp how its made out of silk! usually those are like 100+ dolars! and i got it for like 23 bucks! yayyyyy

i was suppose to go thrifting with isaiah and adrian dis week but idek wat day we’re goin i need to follow up w him on that. its so funny seeing him listen to and explore new music but i am like a proud mom.

i also trained my kitties with the clicker and made them practice wearing the harnesses. otto already knows how to sit!!!! hes such a good and smart boy. oscar is a little slow, but hes still very cute and calm ^_^ . oscar doesnt know how to walk in his harness yet. he can only walk backwards. its sooo funny and cute. otto can but he does a weird cute little crawl while he walks. i am so excited for when ill be able to take them on walks. i can tell oscar is so curious about going outside already and it will be sooo cute to have both of them on a walk together.

somtimes i wish i looked like a boy so it would be funny when i made certain jokes. since im a girl i feel like men take the jokes too seriously. its not really fair.

i’m sleepy. i washed mt face and brushed my teeth again today💪. i almost didnt cause i was sooo tired.

oh yea today i ate lots of cheese puffs and i also ate chinese food and an egg and cheese omelette. the cheese puffs are really yummy and they have a rabbit mascot so its like im suppose to eat them.

im hungry rigjt now tho i should sleep soon Ur not really suppose toeat after 8pm apparently. Like it make u gain weight or something idk. Oh yea i needa start exercising again and going to the gym. my weight is soo high rn its so embarassing and it messes with my self confidence

oh yea after the vet yesterday we went to petco and everyone loved oscar and thought he was sooo cute. and he is so cute! they thought he was a girl though cause of his pink collar.

ohhh im so freaking hungry

ok umm goodnight for now unless i wnt to write some more

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jesterjamz · 4 years ago

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goodnight

#olly orates #yea fuck this im goin to bed if you need anything send an ask over on @jesterjamster #ANYWAYS so yea! today fucking happened didnt it !#didnt go 2 school cuz i was sick. did only one assignment. finished chapter 16. streamed. watched whatever the hell that wrtv stream was #& now i am going to sleep :]#so goodnight to you all i probably need the rest anyway #edit: also i wasnt planning on watching &/or liveblogging that stream by the way but by god it sure did happen huh

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sungj1n · 7 years ago

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#me: im goin 2 sleep .. me:#anyways goodnight for real i luv day6 n all of u !!!!

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pinkmirth · 4 years ago

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𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸!𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗯𝗻𝗵𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀 𝗵𝗰𝘀: 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗲𝘁

[𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀]- 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀: 𝗯𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗴𝗼𝘂, 𝗸𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮, 𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘆𝗮, 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗼, 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗶, 𝗸𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶, 𝘁𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘄𝗸𝘀

❤︎

𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝟮 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲:

❤︎

𝗯𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗴𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶;

•he was getting some spicy food at a street market one day after school. •you then went up to him randomly, asking what would be a good food to get since you were new to japan. •his face practically reddened at the sight of you, but he merely clicked his teeth, saying that he couldn't help you because his taste is extremely spicy. •you responded with a laugh, saying that you were more than capable to handle spice. •you both ended up eating and chatting together as you ate. •well, you did most of the talking as he nodded and grunted in response half of the time.. •nonetheless, you found his company very enlightening, so you asked for his number successfully.

❤︎

"excuse me?" a strangely accented voice called out to bakugou, the boy turning in the direction of the voice. "hah?" he called out as he looked down at you, instantly deeming you as american, hence the accent and your uniquely fascinating look. "is there any food that you can recommend to me? im new here.." you told him sheepishly as you flashed a small smile, the boy's face heating up dangerously. you then started to hear small fizzling noises, your attention drawn to his hands, which were letting out small explosions. "you good?" you asked in a concerned tone. "i thought that you wanted food, the fuck are you worried about me for?" he replied snappily, making you blink your eyes at him. "damn.." you muttered under your breath, though you didn't take it personal. "listen, your tongue is gonna burn the fuck off if i pick out food for you, woman." he laughed in a mocking manner. "boy," you scoffed, "i can handle more than a bit of damn seasoning..!" you chuckled, looking up at him with those dark glistening eyes of yours. he then ordered two small bowls of spicy curry for the both of you and told you to sit your ass down at the nearest outdoor table, to which you only laughed at him. "you didn't have to pay for it, yknow.." you told him, taking a spoonful of food nonetheless. "just think of it as hospitality.. or a welcoming gift or some shit. you're new here anyway.." he grumbled, taking a bite out of his own food. "what's your name?" you asked him, "don't worry about my name," he scoffed, "when i become the number one hero, everybody's gonna know my fucking name!" he said triumphantly, a cocky smirk on his face. "is that so..?" you asked him with a grin, "that's only if i don't become the number one hero..! you gon have to watch out for me, cause i'm your new competition!" you laughed, making his eye twitch. "is that a fucking challenge?" he spoke, "maybe." you replied, taking another bite of your food. he couldn't lie, it impressed him how you were taking full blown spoonfuls and not complaining about any spice, the drink he bought you staying untouched. "ay," you called out, "your face is red! i thought that you was the one tellin' me bout spice!" you snickered. "it's not the fucking spice that's making me blush!" he retorted, his face getting redder as he watched you let out a series of giggles. before long, the food was finished and he was ready to leave the table without even saying goodbye. "aht aht, where you goin to?" you asked him as you stood up with him. "home, the fuck? its not like ive got the time to talk to a stranger all damn day!" he said in defense. "well, you've at least gotta tell me your name!" you whined, "fine, shut up, puffball!" he said as you gasped. "really? puffball?" you gasped sarcastically, a hand at your heart. "you wanna know my name or not?" he snapped, "yes, of course!" you exclaimed, "s'bakugou. don't fucking forget it." he said, watching you nod as you took in the name. "—can i get your number too, bakugou?" you asked as he groaned. "fucking fine.." he grunted, "you got a pen?" he asked, taking a hold of your arm. "i can just get out my phone, the fuck you tryna write on my skin for?!" you said as he chuckled, "its more memorable that way, duh, puffball. you should be damn grateful to be the first to get an autograph from the one and only lord explosion murder." he said, taking the pen you handed him as he wrote his digits on your forearm, the gentle, warm but firm grip he had on your wrist making you unknowingly grin. "now you've gotta do the same. your name and number, puffball." he said, cocking his brow as you started to laugh. "eh, ill tell you allat when I feel like it. see ya, bakugou." you said, disappearing into the crowd of the bustling street market before he could make any snarky remark, a small smirk on his face that even surprised him, he was sure that the feeling that made his ears buzz and heat up was merely irritation. "she's such a damn tease..!" he couldn't even recall when he became intrigued.

❤︎

𝗸𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮 𝗲𝗶𝗷𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘂;

•he "met" you via call. •him, kaminari, and sero were pulling an all nighter together in his room, just hanging out on the bed. •like the immature teenage boys they are, they decided to play 'dare or dare' at two in the morning. •kirishima had been dared to call his number neighbor, which he was hesitant of, despite doing the dare anyway. •the phone rang as he placed it on the bed, the goofy trio looking at it in anticipation, expecting some old geezer to pick up the phone. •boy, were they wrong.

❤︎

"cmon, bro! i did the dare you gave me, so you've gotta do the same!" kaminari urged, making kirishima sigh. "it wasn't even that extreme of a dare! you just had to let sero smack you!" the redhead protested, "and that shit was fun, too. id do it again, ha!" the raven haired boy laughed out, earning a nudge to the side from the electric blond.

"don't be a pussy, just call and hang up if it makes you feel any better!" kaminari suggested, "fine, ill do it!" kirishima gave in, "don't start feeling disappointed when some 100 year old guy picks up the phone, kami!" he huffed.

eijirou dialed the number on his phone,

xxx-xxx-xxxy, which was only the slightest bit different from his number, which was

xxx-xxx-xxxx.

he then set the phone on the bed and put it on speaker, the boys looking within themselves as they waited for the person on the other side of the line to answer.

"nevermind, fuck this.." kaminari sighed, running a hand through his golden blond locks. the phone then finally picked up, kirishima's ears perking up eagerly.

"ahm.. h-hello?" a smooth, feminine voice called out tiredly, the boys gaping at eachother. "uhm.. hello!" kirishima replied, "who da hell out here callin me at two am?" you asked, making the boys tense up your at your tone.

the redhead started to feel bad for waking you up, the sleepiness apparent in your voice. you then let out a series of melodic chuckles, ones that made kirishima want to hold a hand at his pounding heart.

"who this?" you asked, "kirishima! that's my name, at least! im your number neighbor, ha.." he said, "well, kirishima.." you spoke once more, your captivating accent making him infer that you were black, but that only excited him more, leaving him to wonder how beautiful you truly were, "imma talk to you later. a girl gotta sleep, yknow?" you told him, your voice velvety as the sound waves hit his ears.

"y-yeah, sure!" he complied. "ill save your number though, boo." you told him, the simple nickname making him smile to himself.

"wait, what's your name?" he asked you, "y/n. cute name, right?" you giggled, his heart clenching at the sound.

"how about I meet up with you tomorrow, y/n?" he suggested. "that would be nice, kirishima.." you said into the phone, the eagerness heard in your voice to meet this mystery boy, "you had better not be no random dealer.." you sighed, "no, I don't sell..!!!" he gasped in reply. "perfect." you said, "goodnight, kirishima. ion know what you doin up at two am, but have a blast, boo." that was the last thing you said before ending the call.

"...she sounds like a total fuckin’ babe! you're welcome, kiri!" kaminari said, but the sharky boy was too busy thinking about the call, your voice replaying in his head. apparently, eijirou thought dazedly, voice kinks actually ARE real..

"she was..

damn

❤︎

𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘆𝗮 𝗶𝘇𝘂𝗸𝘂;

•he met you at some beauty supply store. •you might be wondering; what the hell is deku doing at the damn beauty supply? •see, he was there with mirio to get some stuff for eri so they could do her hair, and he didn't really know what to get. •he saw you in the same isle as him later on and decided to ask what would be good to get for a little girl. •when you turned to him and smiled, he choked on thin air and was astonished with you and your 'melanated' beauty. •despite his nervous stammering, he accomplished in getting your number.

❤︎

"eri-chan, do you like this one..?" izuku asked, holding up a light green bow to her pale blue hair. "deku-san.. any color is fine.." the smaller girl replied, her large red eyes staring into his emerald ones. he sighed before flashing her a small smile, putting the bow back up. he wanted to give the girl something that would make her feel pretty, but he didn't know what she would really like.. "do you know anything about hair products and stuff, togata-senpai..?" midoriya asked mirio, whom only shrugged in reply. "i used to have longer hair, but I didn't really use any accessories, yknow!" the blond replied in his normal ecstatic tone. "oh.." deku sighed, "ill just keep looking!" he then walked into another row, glancing at all the hair products for natural hair, the tropical, warm, and sugary smells sending his nose into heaven. his hair was a bit curly himself, so maybe he'd be able to use some of them..? anyway, he continued to look through the products, letting out a huff, since he didn't find anything eye catching that gave him 'eri' vibes. he then saw a flash of chocolate brown in his peripheral vision, along with a good whiff of a smell similar to all those hair products, making him let out a small moan at the scent, which would probably become his new favorite smell. he turned around to see you, a black girl around his age that was dressed stylishly, your curly/coily hair captivating him as he gazed at you, whom was merely crouching down to look at some hair clips and other things that you were interested in. he then got the great idea to ask for your help! "hello? excus—" he called out to you as you jerked your head up, looking at him with a pack of durable hair ties in hand. he hadn't gotten a good look at your face, but now that he had, his breath had hitched on the spot as he felt heat rise to his freckled cheeks. he wanted to say something, but something about your melanated beauty intimidated him. not like he was scared, but he just wanted to make a good impression so bad that he froze up. you started to stand up from your crouching position, your dark brown/[color] eyes watching him curiously. "hi..!" you spoke cooly in your rich, slang-suffused voice. "h-hi!" he replied briskly, his fists clenched in flustered-ness. "i-i wanted t-to ask.." he stammered, giving himself a slap mentally, "if y-you could help m-me pick out some hair accessories! ones that would be good for a little girl..!" he explained, gulping a bit as he finished. your dark eyes only examined him as he spoke, your plump, glossy lips curving up into a smile that made him melt. "sure! why you ain't ask me earlier, boy? actin all cute and nervous.." you chuckled, making midoriya believe you made him fall in love with a stranger at first sight.. after some looking, you found a pair of red bows that you had just assumed would look good on the girl he spoke of, and that they did, the vibrant color matching with eri's big red eyes. she seemed to like them as well, the six year old girl twirling with the ribbons of the bows around her small fingers. "thank you so much! i think she actually likes them..!" izuku said in relief, the small smile on eri's face making him grin as well. "no problem! happy I could help, man." you said, making your way over to the cashier. he wanted to talk to you more.. "psst!" mirio whispered, "go talk to her!" he encouraged, izuku giving off a brisk nod of courage in reply. "h-hey!" he called out to you. "i-i wanted t-to ask you s-something again...!" he said once more, watching you sling the bag of beauty products onto your forearm as you listened to him, his flustered voice being something you found absolutely adorable. "c-can i h-have your.. number..?"

❤︎

𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮; *𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗼 :)*

❤︎

•you both sat next to eachother on a train ride home. •but before that, you had noticed him at your membership gym where you did your exercise and acrobatics. •you couldn't help but take glances at him •he was well built, toned, tall, and pretty damn flexible, plus he was shirtless, so of course you had to look.. •you were even gazing at him for so long that you lost your balance and stumbled a bit.. •before you could introduce yourself, which you were more than willing to do, the cute but peculiarly elbowed boy had left. •to your delight, you saw him again as you entered the train for your ride home. •he shares his oranges with you >///<

❤︎

"dayumm.." you whistled lowly, watching a black haired male from across the gymnasium. his back faced towards you, so you couldn't really see his face. you were doing simple stretches, in a side split at the moment, since you weren't in the mood for doing as much exercise. your eyes followed everywhere he went, taking in all of his motions and the flexing of his back muscles that you could see through his flimsy orange tank top, which he was actually starting to take off to your delight, pulling it over his head. your eyes widened before your lips curved up into a small smirk. "ive been blessed with this view.." you joked. you weren't the kind to be obsessed with boys and their looks or anything, but something about this guy was riveting, especially his elbows.. he then turned around, slowly lowering himself into a side splits position as he let a small huff leave his lips, wincing at the stretching of his inner thigh muscles. "he clearly hasn't done this shit in a while.." you said to yourself, watching him stretch forward as he stayed in his side splits position. he then looked up, his eyes meeting yours momentarily. his cheeks reddened in awe as he saw you, whom was already looking at him. he then flashed a wide smile, one that made you smile back, the contrast of your brown skin and pearly whites making him grin even wider. he seemed to slyly wink at you before getting up, walking over to another area of the gymnasium as you huffed over his departure. or maybe that wink was just your imagination..? "come back, hot guy.." you whined to yourself, getting up as well and making your way over to the nearby aerial skills fabric, only because you wanted to do something impressive that the black haired boy would see from afar. you made your way up the fabric, pulling yourself up with the incredible upper body strength that you had. you set yourself in a comfortable position, also in a position as to where you could see the 'elbows' guy a lot clearer. "it should be illegal to go around lookin that damn good.." you said to yourself, watching him do a simple form of yoga by himself in a calm corner. he then opened his eyes abruptly, digging into the pocket of his sweats to take out his phone, which was going off, probably for an alarm that he had set up. he got up, stretched a little more, and started to grab his belongings. you then scoffed, immediately getting down from the fabrics. there was no way that you'd allow him to leave before you got to know him.. you then started to jog towards him, since he was a ways away from you. he began to rotate his arms a bit, his muscles flexing as he did arm circles, making you stop in your tracks as you watched him. was this his quirk or something, or did every little thing he did leave you addicted? you felt yourself practically leaning in as you watched him pack up his things, his side profile showing off none other than his gleaming smile that he always seemed to have on his cute face. he slipped his orange top back on and made way for the exit, and that's when you finally snapped out of your trance, your ankles giving out as you fell on the ground, due to looking for so long that you had started to lose your balance. "shit, man.." you winced, rubbing at your ankles. by the time you looked up, he was gone. "i know i didn't snap my ankles just so mans could walk away.." you grumbled, getting up and slipping on your tracksuit jacket. you didn't want to do much today anyways, so you we're ready to go home. as you walked to the train station, you payed mind to a small but noticeable limp in your step, a mild pain tingling in your ankle. it wasn't bad, but it wasn't too fun either.. you huffed, making your way onto the train, trying to find yourself a seat and ignore the small awkward looks that people gave you because of your natural appearance that you obviously couldn't change. you only shrugged. im black, so what? the fuck..? you thought, though you weren't one to spark an argument and say it out loud. you were more than used to it anyway, so why give a damn anymore? though, somebody noticed it going on, and they couldn't stand it. "hey," a voice called out to you, "wanna sit with me?" you turned to see the same black haired boy from the gym, smiling sweetly at you as he moved his duffel bag just so you could sit. "...yeah, thanks." you replied cooly, but in the inside, you were freaking out. who knew that he'd be on your train?! "you okay?" he asked you, noticing your slight limp and your aerobic leggings as you chuckled, "whaddya mean specifically? the hating ass looks or my limping?" you said to him, "both." he replied quickly, his soft black bangs swaying as he leaned forward a bit to take a good look at you and your alluring afrocentric features. "um.. are you good? your face is getting all red." you told him, his eyes widening. "i-it is? sorry.." he chuckled in apology, leaning back into his seat with his hands resting at his knees. "...i saw you at the gym earlier, yknow." he told you, "those aerobic skills were pretty damn cool." he told you, the same smile on his face that you were sure you'd never get tired of seeing. "yeah, well i might have to take a break from them for a hot minute..." you sighed, regarding your ankle. "hey, you want an orange?" he asked abruptly as you blinked at him. "boy, did you just ask me if i wanted an orange?" you queried at his random suggestion. "yeah, ive got a few in here! they're my favorites~" he said with a large grin, "they always help me feel better. well, it might not help with physical pain, but—" he started, "nah, it's all good, i get it whatchu mean." you chuckled, taking the fruit that he handed to you. of course, it wasn't the best to take things from strangers, but there was something about him and his flashy smile that made you trust him. you both ate the fruit in silence, the only thing heard being the minimal chatter of other passengers and small rattling sounds of the rails. as you sat next to him, the warmth of his body radiating onto yours as your shoulders touched, it felt as though it was only you and him.. his phone then started to ring as he took it out of his pocket, giving you a look of apology for the abrupt noise. "s'my mom.." he chuckled before answering the call. "hola mamá!" he said into the phone, clearly speaking another foreign language, "qué pasa? oh, lo que estoy haciendo?" she had asked him what he was doing, but of course, you didn't understand the language he spoke, so you merely sat there, listening to the smoothness of his deep voice as he spoke into the phone. "uh.. bueno esta chica, ella está sentada mi lado.." he spoke lower, though you didn't know why, "una linda chica negra.." little did you know that he was gushing over you to his mom, "n-no, mom! no mi novia!" he cried out, only making you assume that his mother had said something embarrassing to him, "uhh.. talk to you later, ma.." he said, briskly ending the call with a huff. "what were you even saying?" you asked with a giggle as he tensed up, not wullling to explain to you about how he told his mom that he was sitting next to a cute black girl... "w-we were talking about oranges..!" he said on the spot as you tilted your head. "really..?" you asked, since he seemed more than unsure of his answer. "uhm.. yeah," he said, "we were talking about how we'll need to grow more because..." he trailed off, then got an idea, looking at you as his warm grin widened, "because i have a new friend to share them with!"

❤︎

𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗶 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼;

•winter time! ⁂ •you were at the grocery store, just getting the mandatory food items. •after getting all the stuff you needed, you decided to get your favorite comfort food; •soba. preferably hot. •just as you went to grab for some, you saw a bigger, more muscular hand reach for the same pack of buckwheat noodles. •as your hands rubbed, you let out a hiss, because their hand was mad cold. •you looked up to see a tall charming boy around your age, the two sides of his face looking extremely different. •you stared at him for a while before he called out to you, seeming to be the fifth time since you were too busy looking at his face.. •who ends up getting the soba?

❤︎

you rolled your cart to another side of the grocery store, letting out a sigh of relief that you had finished most of your shopping. you then saw a bit of cool smog leaving your mouth, making you roll your eyes in bafflement. it was winter time and you were decked up, wearing a knee-long bubble coat, uggs and a scarf, so the fact that this grocery store had the audacity to put air conditioning on at such a cold period in time made you want to cuss them out. "it's even colder in here than it is outside, dammit.." you muttered, rolling your cart around some more until you got to where you wanted; the rice and noodles section. you were itching to get some hot soba, especially with the sauce that you'd always eat it with. your mouth curved up into a smile, thinking about eating the bowl of noodles as you watched anime by the time you got home. you put your cart aside in a place where it wouldn't be bothersome, and reached your hand out for the food. just as you did, a pale and muscular hand reached out for the same item, making you immediately withdrawal your hand because of the sub-zero temperature of his skin.. "sorry." the person said in a deep, calm tone. you then looked up to see a tall teenage boy dressed in a cream colored turtleneck and black pants, his face seemingly crafted by angels.. the two sides of his face were complete opposites, making you even more drawn to him as you stared. "hello?" he called out for what seemed like the fifth time, snapping you out of your thoughts. "hm? oh, sorry!" you apologized, "you can have it if you want." he said, ready to walk out of the aisle as you panicked a bit. "no, you can have it! go ahead!" you said to him as he turned back around. "it seems that you were anticipating to get that, so it's okay." he said, blinking his eyes a bit. he merely stood there for a bit, thinking as he looked at the ground. "how about i buy it for you?" he offered, making your eyes widen. "no need to do that, it's aight!" you told him. "it's not a problem to me. i have my father's credit card, so im more than willing to splurge. besides, it's the holiday season, so i should do something nice for another, shouldn't i?" he explained in question, taking the soba and handing it to you with a small smile, one that made your heart pound within your chest. "ah.. thank yo— ack!" you whimpered as his hand touched yours, now being extremely hot this time. "sorry, it's my quirk.." he told you. "you good.." you shrugged it off, "i guess that's why you're only wearing a turtleneck in this freezing store?" you asked him with a chuckle as he nodded. "oh, the soba fell.." he said in realization, the both of you bending down to pick it up at the same time, resulting in you two bumping your foreheads together. you stumbled back a little bit until he caught you, the coolness of his breath slightly hitting your face, the small gap between your faces making your ears heat up and his face flush red. "..i-i keep messing up, im sorry.." he said once more in a more sheepish tone, helping you upright. "it's fine, no need to keep apologizing." you told him. "you still want that soba?" he asked you as you nodded. "let's go to the cashier if you're ready." he told you as you nodded, still feeling so touched that he was willing to pay, no matter how many times you told him that it was okay. "y/n." you said out of the blue. "hm?" he hummed in response. "im y/n. since you insist on buying stuff for me, you should at least know who i am, yes?" you asked him with a smile. "right. im shouto." he said as you nodded. "i can't thank you enough, shouto!" you said with gratitude as he flashed a small, close mouthed grin once more. "no problem, y/n" just as you two were about to leave the aisle, an employee rolled in a cart of soba, probably containing more than 300 packs. "how lucky.. would you like more?" he asked you, pointing at the cart, "im feeling rather generous today, y/n" he told you. you got the racks for allat?!" you asked while gaping at him. just who exactly is he? "well, i can't.." he said, holding up the credit card, "but my father can."

❤︎

𝗸𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶 𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗶;

•the first time he saw you, you weren't even fully clothed. •which is his ideal way to meet a hot black girl, of course.. •he was simply out shopping with the bakusquad •he then went to the fitting rooms to try on some clothes. •because he is a smart individual, he immediately went to the biggest stall. •only to see you in skinny jeans and a bra, your eyes widening as you saw him, whom had frozen in place, heavily embarrassed but somewhat excited. •after apologizing and leaving, he helped you find some good clothes that were your style and matched your skin tone well. •and there's absolutely no way that he'd meet someone as amazing as you and not want to get your digits..

❤︎

"kiri, tell the group that ill be trying out these hoodies, 'kay?" kaminari said to his red headed friend. "sure, bro!" kirishima agreed, waving off as the electric blond made his way to the fitting rooms, which were unisex. "the biggest ones are the best ones..!" he mumbled to himself, zooming straight to the largest stall. he whistled to himself as he swung the door open, only to see you, a [height] black girl in a bra and ripped skinny jeans, pulling a tshirt over your head. guess the stall's lock wasn't stable.. the both of you froze, his widened eyes wandering as you held your breath, your face heating up in embarrassment. "i-im so sorry—shit!!!" he cried out before leaving the stall rather quickly. you merely stood there, biting your lip at the abrupt situation. "..the fuck, bruh.." you murmured, putting on the shirt that you wore to the mall, since you had finished changing. you walked out to see the same golden blond standing outside of the stall, running his hands through his hair with a sorry expression, his face flushed red as he muttered profanities over what he'd done. "ey," you called out to him, tapping on his shoulder, "did you like the view?" you asked cheekily as he gaped at you. you weren't really one to take things to seriously, and you could turn any situation into a bright one with a few jokes here and there. "uh.. there's no right way to answer that, is there..?" he replied with a nervous chuckle. "don't lie, you was lookin! i don't blame you though, im hot." you said with a shrug, making him laugh. "so you're a little comedian, aren't you..?" he asked you, folding his arms across his chest, clearly feeling more comfortable than before. "depends on whether im talking to a cute blond or not. so.. you know the answer, yeah?" you giggled, making him smirk. your entire being made him want to give you a hug. you were pretty, clearly damn hot, funny, confident, and you were highly melanated? he had been finding himself gravitating towards chocolate girls for a while, but you were different from the rest, of course in the best way. he was wondering whether he had won the lottery, the both of you probably being a match made in heaven, hence the small similarities between you and him that he could already notice. he liked you. "you gon keep smirking at me or are you gonna use that stall?" you asked him sarcastically, "well, i might as well warn you about that lock. utter shit, man. that's why the door swung open so easily.." you muttered as he laughed once more. "only if you join me, pretty lady.." he said with a wink as you gasped playfully. "word?" you asked as he nodded with a hum. "bet, get in there!" you exclaimed, the both of you going back into the large stall. "so," he said, sitting down on the bench inside of the stall, "how can I get to know you?" he asked smoothly, a grin on his face. "ah, you tryna be slick, huh?" you chuckled, "well, you can start off with my name. y/n." you told him. "sounds beautiful." he complimented with another smile. "oh, stop it.." you laughed, waving your hand dismissively. "im denki, or maybe your boyfriend, whichever one you wanna call me.." he said as you giggled, liking his second option. "i can help you get some good clothes, if that's what you're looking for!" he suggested as you raised your brows. "oh really?" you hummed, "really!" he replied, getting up from the bench and holding out his hand to you. "cmon, y/n! let's go shopping."

𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗷𝗶𝗸𝗶 𝘁𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶;

•he was simply on patrol with red riot and fatgum. •all of a sudden, you rushed up to him frantically, a worried look on your face. •he instantly remembered you as the girl from class 3-b, whom he had actually been a bit interested in for a while.. •he'd take glances of you whenever he saw you in the cafeteria and whatnot. •you were a good friend of mirio's but you and tamaki has never actually spoken until now. •you started to explain to him how this guy was following you and calling you a flurry of racial slurs. •he immediately started to feel his blood boiling. •anxious tama is gone, time to be a hero.

❤︎

"you want another bowl of yakisoba, amajiki-sempai?" kirishima asked cheerily, "fatgum bought some more!" he told tamaki. "i-i'm fine, t-thanks.." the elf-eared boy replied, tugging at the hoodie of his hero outfit farther so it could cover his face more. he was on patrol with the eight foot, blond haired pro and the younger hero in training, simply walking through a city in japan with a mindset ready to defend, which is what tamaki would have to do soon for you, whether he was ready or not.. he suddenly felt a pair of hands grip onto his arm, their fingers digging into his clothed bicep in fear. he yelped out as he looked down to see a familiar black girl with a shaken expression, the elf eared boy pressing his lips closed at the sight of you, his slanted eyes widening along with his face heating up. "..youre amajiki, yeah..?" you asked him as he nodded briskly, not daring to make a sound before he stuttered himself to an embarrassing point of no return. he knew you! well, he couldn't exactly say it that way, it made it seem as though you two were close. he would actually admire you from afar in school, with all honesty. he recalled you to be the pretty, brown skinned outgoing girl with a high puff that would usually be seen around mirio, since the two of you were both in class 3-b. he could practically feel the words itching to crawl up his throat and leave his mouth, though he didn't even know what those words would be.. what would he say to you? "oi, amajiki! i really need your help right now.. i heard that there was patrolling going on, so I just followed the sight of fatgum's head through the crowd.." you told him, snapping him out of his trance as he let out a yelp once more, the tall but introverted teen looking down at you, uncomfortable hums leaving his mouth due to his uncertainty of how to finally speak to you, which he was fucking up royally. "there's this guy.. he keeps following me and calling me some.. not nice things." you explained, "and he's making me uncomfortable.." you told him, his brows furrowing. "a-are you o-okay..? d-do y-y-you.. argh!" he gave up speaking for the time being as you looked up at him with a confused expression, your hands still holding onto his arm, as if you were trying to latch onto him for a sense of comfort. "its aight, miri told me that you aren't the most social guy.." you sighed, "but id really appreciate if you could keep a look out for that guy.. he looks mad sketchy, also wearing a goofy ass 'all lives matter' shirt..." you whispered to him, starting to walk with him through the bustling streets behind fatgum and red riot, your hands still around his arm as he looked around with an intimidating look, in search for whoever had been bothering you. "...w-what did h-he say t-to you..?" the indigo haired teen asked as you scoffed. "you don't wanna know, amajiki." you told him as he gave you a look. "oh, you actually wanna know? like, deadass?" you asked once more to make sure as he nodded hesitantly. "cmere then.." you signaled him to crouch down a bit so you could whisper all the info into his ear. "w-wha— he f-followed you... for t-that long..?! just because of.. oh.. o-oh no.." he muttered incredulously, now feeling his blood starting to rush in an angry flurry. how dare someone taunt and bother you like this just because you were different? "and then, he called me a——" you whispered the word into his ear as he gasped loudly. "h-how r-rude!!!" he wailed as you huffed in agreement. "and he wouldn't seem to leave me alone.. well, not until i mixed with the crowd and found you, that is.. i think I've lost him.." you said, "thanks, amajiki.. you've already helped me a lot.." you said to him graciously as he gave off an awkward smile in return, averting his eyes from yours. "n-no problem.." he replied, though his job wasn't done just yet. he finally spotted the man at the corner of his eye, whom was seemingly making his way towards you. "oi, the dark one!" they called out as you groaned, "oh hell nah.." you uttered with the roll of your eyes. "we don't need people like you here! the last time i came out to the city, a black pest stole my wallet!" he shouted, most people in a hearing range stopping in their tracks and turning to you, amajiki and the man. "s-she hasn't s-s-stolen anything..!" tamaki stammered, "so l-leave her a-alone!" he urged, the crowd cheering suneater on as others opposed the racist, shouting at him to leave you be. "oh yeah? lemme check her first, she probably stole something from one of these markets!" he said, lunging towards you as everybody gasped. tamaki activated his quirk swiftly, entrapping the man in his manifested tentacles. "don't touch her." he demanded, earring cheers from everyone around, but he didn't really care about all that, he just wanted you to be safe. tamaki turned around, looking down at you with worried eyes as he kept the man trapped with his quirk, "a-are you o-okay..?" he asked shakily as you grinned at him. "yup, i am now," you told him before planting a kiss on his cheek, "you a real one, suneater."

❤︎

𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗮𝗺𝗶 𝗸𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗼 ^ (𝗵𝗮𝘄𝗸𝘀);

❤︎aged!up!reader!❤︎

•it all started when he asked you if you fell from heaven. literally. •you're a young adult pro hero whom is good with combat skills and such. •but you aren't the best at using your quirk: hover. •your quirk allows you to hover over 500 feet from the ground, but you'd never used it to its full capacity, only working it up to 100 feet. •you were working on using it to a farther capacity, and since you have a hero license to use your quirk in public, you decided that you'd just work on it while out patrolling. •big mistake.. •but never fear! fast man Hawks was there to swoop you off of your feet and into the sky~

❤︎

"you can do this, y/n.." you told yourself as you hovered above countless buildings, which was the height that would usually be your limit. today, that would change, aiming to touch the clouds. you looked up farther into the never ending sky, a small shuddering sound leaving your mouth. maybe it wouldn't be too bad to cancel practice for today and stay on the ground.. "no! i should try at least..!" you encouraged yourself, hovering higher and higher until even the skyscrapers looked like ants. you then felt a strong pressure around your entire body because your system wasn't used to it, making you writhe in the air as your quirk started to deactivate. "nonono, oh shit!!!" you screamed, falling helplessly through the sky, your [color] braids whipping around from the wind as you came closer to the ground, many screams leaving your mouth in fear. before you hit the ground, you got swooped up before the impact, a flurry of red feathers around you. "the fuck—?!" you shouted, looking up to see the undeniably charming face of the one and only number two hero, hawks. "hey there, pretty birdie~" he chirped as you merely glared at him, still shaken from your freefalling. "did it hurt when you fell from heaven???" as he spoke teasingly, you looked down to see that he had flown higher up than you were before, your eyes widening. "g-get me down, hawks!!" you pleaded, your hands gripping onto his brown jacket as he only chuckled. "i saw what you were doing up here.." he told you, "don't you still wanna learn how to pass your limit? i can teach you if you want~" he offered you sweetly, still flying about with you in his arms as you both soared through the sky, the feeling that you were despite of at first now feeling more comforting and stress-less. "t-that would be great..!" you yelled, since the sounds of the wind made it hard to hear, "but can you put me down..?" you asked him as he blinked before letting out another laugh. "right, i forgot about that! sometimes, when i start flying i can't come down. i should warn you, its addicting to feel so free up here..." he told you. "can you get me down now?! geez, nigga.." you scoffed as he let out an awkward chuckle, "sorry, i should also warn you that talking is addicting to me as well.." he told you, flying down to the surface and putting you down as you shakily stood, your hands clenching at his coat once more as he laughed over your behavior. "we were just a few feet off the ground, it wasn't so bad that youve gotta wobble!" he chuckled as you glared at him. "a few feet???" you gawked. he waved his gloved hand dismissively, linking his arm with yours as he started to walk out into the bustling street with you, the two of you sending smiles and waves to fans whom recognized the two of you as the pros in the top five. "do you have to link onto my arm?" you asked with gritted teeth. he wasn't exactly annoying you, per se, you were just still very frazzled about the little flight he took you on. "of course i have to stay linked onto you!" he laughed, "birds gotta stick together, yeah?" he said. "i ain't a damn bird!" you yelled out as he replied, "but you can fly, can't ya?"

❤︎

[mirio, shigaraki, shinsou, etc. will later be added!]

^^^

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cr4sh-k1d · 4 years ago

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hi hi love ur art 💚 i remember seeing u over on twitter! Wanted to give u a heads up that tags over here work a little differently, and theres a better way to tag ur art so that more people will see it! So if u want heres a big infodump:

Generally, tumblrs search function only looks at the first 6 tags of a post, so those tags are super important for getting your stuff out there. This also means that tags here get pretty generalized/simplified, ie all posts relating to a character or series will just be tagged with the subjects name. So for example, the tags you would use for a beeduo piece would be #dream smp, #mcyt, #ranboo, and #tubbo. After those tags, you can optionally also do more specific tags such as #ranboo fanart, #beeduo, #art, or just talk about the piece in the tags. #dream smp is the collective tag for all dsmp content, fanart, writing, liveblogging, or whatever, so you definitely want to include that one in your first 6 tags.

Sometimes the time at which u post can also have an effect but its usually not that huge a deal. A piece posted at like the dead of night for most of EU and US might get notes slower since a lot of people r prolly sleeping and therefor not checkin the tag. Really the only thing that u gotta look out for is that if a lot of people are liveblogging then your post might get drowned out since theres no popularity algorithm. Usually this just means not posting during a huge lore stream. Afterwards is fine. Again its not that big a deal normally, you can totally just post whenever cause someone is always checking the tag but its something to keep in mind

wow that was a lot of information. I hope its helpful! If you got a question, my mcyt side blog is @/frogetime if u want to ask smth anyways its like almost 2 im goin to bed goodnight

Omg this means a lot thank you so much man :) I’m getting used to how the tumblr algorithm works and this was incredibly helpful I couldn’t thank you enough !!

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megatraven · 3 years ago

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Me: Enjoying my day playing Detroit: Become Human and enjoying life.

My brain at almost midnight: Remember how MC almost got hit by an artifact attack in Alex’s S1 and how they were so worried for her that they dropped everything else and ran over to her to make sure she was okay. Instead of just asking her or checking for any bruises or injuries, they dropped the professionalism and hugged her tightly bc they were so worried that she would die or that she was severely injured….

And then remember how they said that they grew up around immortal people and how MC’s family was the only real connection to mortals and how it made them love Earth (there’s other reasons but I kinda believe it was mainly MC and her mother and Josh’s presence that made it stronger) and how they loved her even more because she was human and because she “didn’t have Olympus to hide behind.” (Near the actual quote of what they said in S3).

My brain has been on a loop of Alex for a hot hour and I’m ready to replay their entire seasons since none of my favorite characters are coming out right now so >:)). Also, I just finished Chance’s season 1! The old Chance route not the new one lol. I just hate him so much but love him at the same time. And I’m also going to play Ash’s season 1 again to get a passionate ending bc I love him so much and he’s SO sweet like??? Kinda quiet and loves dogs and is wholesome most of the time?? I love him. And I really hope Ash gets a new route as well! The quiet hitman deserves it😭.

Away from me, how are you doing Meg👀💙? I hope you’re doing good and better recently!! If you’re not then I’m sorry and I hope things will get better! It sucks at times but it’ll get better and I hope you’re alright :)💙!! But anyways goodnight bc I have work tomorrow and it’s almost midnight for me. Hope you have a good night!

LOL me too sarah....... whatever the heck im doing at any point during the day u can bet i am full-on thinking about alex (and mc) in some way.

GODS THAT SCENE IN S1................ they held her hand after that hug too because they didnt want to let her go yet 🥺🥺🥺 and it was a comfort to both of them, and mc missed it when they pulled away finally. but before they did, they were straight up holding her hand even in front of their agents and i hgnghhhhhh THEY LVOE HER SO MUCH <33333

i am 10000% certain that the biggest leading reason for alex's loove of earth has everything to do with mc and her family (and aphrodite's fostering of love for mortals) and hgnghhhhhh. of COURSE they love the earth more than olympus........... that's where mc is 🥺💛💛💛

CHAAAAAANCE <333333333 i miss my old grump boy loser chance he's the best. i love his frog shirt. i want his frog shirt. all i can think about is his frog shirt. AND ASH! i lvoe ash so much he was so sweet and good..... i miss them both i wanna rearead themmm

im gettin through sarah, im gettin through 😤💪 some days are rougher than others but im still here, alive and kicking :) i hope you're doing well yourself and that your work and school and everything is goin alright!!!! 💛💛💛 sleep well friend!!!!

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strandedcrow · 4 years ago

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hi crow i am good it is like six am almost now i had gummy bears earlier and i decided to check tumblr to see how things r goin and i missed u a little (no homo) and u had a bunch of good posts and also it is bingus dude how could i not show bingus the respect he deserves anyways im going to sleep now maybe goodnight :)

love u eddie (slash p) i’m glad u got to have some gummy bears that sounds rlly good and yeah that’s true bingus is of utmost importance get some sleep eddie gn see u tomorrow :)

#ask #eddie

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merlions · 3 years ago

Text

in the past 2 weeks i

> got diagnosed w eds and pots

> also unrelated found out I have tourettes

> been on 2 planes

> did a family reunion

> helped my whole extended family b like "oh yeah i should probably get screened for eds and pots" which they have all had huge trouble w but never knew what was goin on w them (thank u friends w eds for helping me figure out that my body is a loose conglomeration of wet noodles and tachycardia)

> ran around on sand and hard floors and gravel without good arch support and usually without shoes period and fukt both my plantar fasciae again (NOICE)

> got only one very slight sunburn (he'll yea)

> got hives that i woke up scratching several nights which (tw skin related body horror) looked and felt like peanut m&ms under my skin

> carried my baby nephew around for long periods of time (BIG BABY......STRONG BABY....................heavy baby)

> for 7 days straight every day played games like the run and jump over waves game and the "throw a paper ball down the stairs and then chase it down and run back up and do it again" w my 4yo niece (i taught her the jumping over waves thing which makes them crash into her less hard bc she was scared of the ocean, which i didnt think was a game, but she definitely thought it was a game, i genuinely love kids :') ) (i was then inexorably trapped in every day playing the wave jump game w her) (it was fun but my body is a garbage fire) (stairs and jumping are so fucking awful for my heart/dysautonomia)

> for 7 days straight every day was helping w duties as a nurse aide for my grandfather (I'm certified) and spent a huge amount of time talking w him and helping him get exercise (he's 94)

> had brutal and intense conversations to facilitate repairing relationships between my aunts and uncles and grandfather

> powered thru on like 6hrs of sleep per night waking up at 9 or earlier every morning after months of waking up after 1p or much later

> drank starting at 11a for lots of the last 7 days

> took my adhd meds only 3x (a needed tolerance break and a break for my bod but a v hard willpower move)

> only ever had a chance to lie down while sleeping, no lying down during the day

> ate a flour tortilla I thought was GF right before getting on a plane bc this shitty restaurant didn't read my ticket (they look the same but I have celiac disease so they don't feel the same :) )

> barely checked my heart monitor (HUGELY difficult for me)

> carried 60+lbs of luggage while walking a few miles

> FUCKED up every joint lmfao im like in a full body cast made of bruises and braces and ice packs

> like half of my ribs are out of joint and I broke my wrist brace and strained my shoulders to fuck and maybe got a little whiplash from an almost collision on the highway while my roommate was driving me home from the airport (NOT their fault at ALL, ohio drivers are 100% willing and ready to die and take you with them to avoid extremely minorly inconveniencing themselves)

> my neck is crackling more than usual and the PPPD is STRONG baybey

> got! the! job! done!

tomorrow I've gotta start an extremely intense 2 days of moving bc my roommate wasnt able to get much done while i was away. then a couple days later im gonna start a job and then start nursing school in abt a month if the social security administration doesn't fucking destroy my life yet again (noice) so im just gonna try to pop some of these ribs back in and get some sleep. sorry this is incoherent I've been awake and exercising and running around and up and down stairs and traveling for 23 hours. chronic illness WHO???

fuck i need six weeks in bed

anyways goodnight

#chronic illness tag #personal -/#ask me to tag

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authorized-trash · 5 years ago

Text

To Tie a Knot: Chapter Three: Virgil’s Verdict

Ao3

Chapter One , Chapter Two

Trigger Warnings:

Sympathetic Deceit, self hate, mild language, hospital mention, panic

Chapter Summary:

Fate works in mysterious ways (in the dead of night, apparently.)

Word Count:

2,400+

Note:

This is where things get tricky, as the story on Ao3 has Deceit’s name down as Ethel, while here it is Damian. And since im copying and pasting from where i posted it to ao3, i gotta change his name over to here haha. If you see a mistake where i called him the wrong thing, yell at me

Anyways, we’re just going to ignore the fact that im pretty sure its nearly been a year since last time i updated, shhh

reblogs and comments are so greatly appreciated!

Damian was getting real sick of this stupid hospital room.

The walls were a obnoxiously bright gray, and the curtains did little to block out the pale sun of winter. There was this stupid little picture across from his bed, with a cute silhouette couple holding hands, a small loopy string dangling from their fingers.

Damian rolled over onto his side, picking at the slightly peeling paint. He’d been in here for days, and still had an hours wait before he was discharged.

His spine hurt from being in this position for so long, but he’d already explored the hospital five times now.

He didn’t understand what was so important about him being here so long. They already told him the bad news. He’d already passed the mark for another soulmate. He had already come to terms wi-

A lump raised into Damian’s throat, but he swallowed it down. He hadn’t cried yet. He wouldn’t now.

Perhaps the hardest part about this whole ordeal was the pitying looks. The nurses telling him it was alright to cry. The therapist that had stopped by to tell him it wasn’t healthy to act like everything was fine.

Everything was fine though, right? It wasn’t like Damian lost something important. He didn’t lose his job, didn’t lose his house. No, he lost someone he hadn’t even met yet. Surely it wasn’t that important.

Yeah, he’d be a bit lonely, but was that really important? No. It wasn’t, not really.

His stomach twisted into knots. It didn’t bother him, it didn’t. The feeling of nothing he found didn’t mean anything. The complete lack of movement from his fatestring meant nothing.

He ran a hand through his hair, and even after all this time, was a bit disappointed when he didn’t feel the string pull against his finger.

With a sigh, he sat up, reaching for his phone. He had gotten a notification from Remy, five minutes ago. He opened it. They’d be here soon.

His phone buzzed in his hand as he got a message from Emile. Sometime this week they’d swapped numbers, the therapy student wanting to be nice and keep him some kind of company.

-Hey were heading there now, you ready to leave

Damian rolled his eyes.

-no, i really do enjoy it here

-Thought so see you soon

Damian put his phone into his pocket as he stood. Stretching. He stretched out the soreness in his arms and headed out of his room. HE was given some paperwork, which he finished quick enough.

The hospital was on campus of the town university he attended. He would’ve normally just walked to his dorm, but Remy had insisted he drive Damian.

He spotted Remy’s car, recognizing the sunglasses clad male as he opened the side door.

“What, no Emile today?” Damian asked as he buckled in.

“He had work. Where do you wanna go babes? We can go out to eat or-“

“I think I’d just like to go home. Today is just such a lovely day.”

Remy looked out the window to see the thunder clouds rolling up over the hills in the distance. He rolled his eyes as he turned out of the parking lot.

“Yeah well, I’m not leaving you alone all evening, get that into that pretty little head of your’s Dee. We’re goin’ to your apartment if you are, hon.”

“Figured as much,” Damian said as he pulled his hat over his eyes and laid his head back against the head rest. That feeling of emptiness was present again. ‘We’ Remy had said. He was most likely bringing Emile along. It just reminded Damian about how he wasn’t going to get another soulmate. Another fatestring. Another chance. He didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this, did he? Sure he took that pack of gum from the store without paying, but that was years ago. And yeah maybe he was a bit sarcastic and stand offish, but surely-

“Hon I can hear those gears turning in your head.”

Damian flushed. He looked at the frayed end of his fatestring again, messing with it with his other hand. Remy’s eyes caught the movement as they pulled up to a stop light.

“You’re looking at it again, aren’t you.”

“No.” Remy sighed, “Damian, sweetheart, platonic love of my life,” Damian grumbled at that one, “It will be fine. The reassigning is just a little late is all. Perhaps its finding the perfect match to tag you onto right now. It’s rare not to get reassigned babe, there’s no way you won’t be.”

Damian shrugged.

“Okay. That’s it babes. We’re getting some coffee. I ain’t goin’ into some sappy ass monologue just for you to shrug me off. I’m going to cheer you up with chocolate and sparkles. Buckle up.”

“I am.”

“Shuthu’ fuck up.”

Damian hid a smirk as he lifted his hat from his eyes and looked up to see Remy’s irritated driving. They pulled into the starbucks, and Damian attempted to forget the whole soulmate thing for the time being.

Easier said than done.

Two Months Later

“You are being ridiculous.”

“Oh, am I? I’m being ridiculous? You, sir, are ridiculous. I am simply trying to get my work done, now if you’d simply leave me alone,” Roman huffed, crossing his arms over his chest in indignation.

“Ro, honey, you were shouting lyrics to beauty and the beast at nine in the afternoon, people are sleepy.”

Roman gave an outraged cry, he was being ganged up on by the glasses gays! He would not stand for this! “It was not shouting, I was belting! I was singing as loud as my heart desires, I simply wish to follow my heart!”

“More like belching them out,” Virgil snickered into his hoodie sleeve from his seat on the counter. Roman gave a few offended noises that sounded suspiciously like squawking.

“How dare! I am simply trying to memorize my lyrics-“

“And why don’t you,” Logan came up behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders lightly, “Memorize them in your room, and not off the balcony.”

“But there’s no romanticism in that.”

“Baby, I’m sure that nice imagination of yours can think of a nice audience to listen to you,” Patton said, kissing Roman on the forehead as the redhead fell to the couch.

“A more willing audience then our neighbors,” Virgil grumbled, “I don’t want another sound complaint.”

“Better yet,” Patton said, pulling Roman right back to his feet, why don’t we go to your room, and I’ll listen to you..”

Roman perked up like a puppy, nodding and already pulling Patton into his room. Logan and Virgil watched them leave, both with love stricken looks.

“This happens every night,” Logan said, walking to the coffee pot to poor him another cup.

“Yeah well, it’s a routine at this point,” Virgil said, eyeing the new cup in Logan’s hands, “You’re not planning on staying up all night with that, are you?”

Logan sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I do need to stay up late, yes. I have an essay that needs edited.”

“Logan you are going to work yourself to death one of these days.”

“And you plan on sleeping soon?”

Virgil grumbled some excuses, just as Logan thought he would. The bespectacled male smiled into his mug as he brought it to his lips to drink.

“Whatever idiot, I’m going to bed. And yes, whatever, by bed I mean I’m going to be on my phone for another hour or two. Sushi. I- I mean- damnit, sue me.”

Logan laughed, setting his drink down and pulling Virgil into his arms and off the table. The emo grumbled but returned the embrace anyways. Logan gave him a peck to his lips, brushing the hair from his eyes.

“Goodnight Virgil, please attempt to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil said, pushing away from Logan. He was sure his face was a deep red, but he didn’t expect Logan to notice as he rushed away down the hall.

Logan smiled again. He wasn’t normally the one to be all lovey-dovey, but it was late and he was in a good mood. A great mood actually. Life was good, stable, had a rhythm to it. Logan liked to keep things organized, liked to have a schedule, a routine.

There had been no outside factors messing up this schedule for a few years now, and he planned on keeping it that way.

He finished is coffee and work sometime in the early hours. He couldn’t tell when, as he had immediately curled into the bed next to his soulmates minutes after. Sleep made his eyelids heavy as he drifted off to sleep, completely unaware of the faint numbing feeling in his fingers.

Morning came with a buzz of an alarm clock. It was annoying, and loud, but it did its job well.

Logan woke up the same way every day. He’d carefully untangle himself from his fiances, wincing as his bare feet hit the cold ground. He’d yawn as he exited their shared room and entered the bathroom. He’d brush his teeth, shower, and leave. He’d start the coffee and solve a word-cross puzzle. He’d make himself a Crofter’s covered piece of toast, leave a small note for his partners, and depart for work.

This morning shouldn’t have been any different. He woke up, untangled himself, stretched and yawned. He left the room and entered the one across the hall. He was too tired to notice when he reached for his toothbrush. Didn’t notice as he rinsed his mouth out. He noticed as he patted his mouth dry with a hand towel.

He dropped the cloth into the sink and shouted, stumbling back until he hit the wall. He shoved his hand into his pajama pockets, trembling all over. A feeling of dread filled him, the feeling he got when something major messed with his schedule. An unknown constant added to his perfectly mapped out life.

Logan heard his fiances start to stir and get up. He took his hands out of his pockets. They trembled violently, bringing them in front of him, praying that he was wrong, he hadn’t seen what he thought he did.

With a shaky intake of breath, he confirmed the impossible.

There was a thin yellow string attached to his pinky finger where there hadn’t been last night.

“Logan?! Logan are you alright?” Patton was the first to round the corner. He had shot up when he heard the scream and thump. His breath caught in his throat. Roman and Virgil were next, damn near getting wedged in the door with how fast they both rammed into it. Logan was shaking his head in disbelief, staring at his hands, at the four strings that were connected to each finger. The others looked down as well, at the string that had connected itself to their pinky fingers.

“How is that possible?” Roman asked in disbelief, messing with the string. Logan just shrugged, exhaling shakily.

“It shouldn’t be- you are born with strings, you shouldn’t be able to gain them.”

“Who are they?” Patton asked as they all looked up at each other. They had five soulmates. Five. That was a ridiculous number, absolutely unheard of.

“I guess,” Virgil swallowed, “I guess we’ll find out when we find them.”

Damian woke up with the feeling that he’d been hit by a truck. Everything was sore, and his hand hurt to move. Maybe he slept on it weird.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, wincing as his fingers tugged weirdly. They felt like the circulation had been cut off, they were all sleepy and heavy.

He got up, shivering as his toes touched the freezing floor of his apartment. He could see his breath in front of him.

He really needed to fix that heater.

Walking into his kitchen, he made himself a cup of coffee, his eyes barely open. His fingers gave another uncomfortable tug. Weird.

Slugging into the bathroom, he took a shower, running his hands of his face. Perhaps it was a good thing he was never reassigned a soulmate. The ugly scar on half his face would scare them off.

He dried off afterwards, brushing his teeth. He looked at himself long and hard in the mirror, scrutinizing every inch. He had school and practice today, enough people would see him to need makeup, and he applied the simple face he wore with practiced ease.

It didn’t do much to cover up the scars, but it was something.

He left the house with his coffee in hand and backpack slung over his shoulder, wearing a black long coat and a scarf. It was beginning to feel a lot like winter, and Damian wasn’t one to like the cold.

The walk to campus wasn’t horribly long. Just a walk through the park and up the block. He was pretty fit and in shape, both from the walk and practice, so it no longer bothered him any.

Damian ignored the few looks he got from passerby. There seemed to be a lot of them today. Odd. He had lived here for a while now, surely most these people who were routinely out at this time had gotten over their staring phase.

He spotted Remy waiting at the fence as always, speeding up slightly to catch up with him. The glasses clad male waved without looking up from his phone.

“Hey hot stuff, how’s your morning been?” Remy asked, still texting. Probably Damian if one was going off the fond look on his face.

“Dreadful,” Damian grumbled, leaning against the fence, “I must have pulled a muscle in my arm or something, it hurts something awful.”

“Uh huh. Well, I wish the best for you babes. Maybe take some meds or somethin’ before class?” Remy looked up at him over his glasses. Damian nodded, running a hand through his hair, missing how Remy followed them movement.

“Yes well that’s a giv-“

“Holy shit babe,” Remy exclaimed suddenly, grabbing a hold of Damianl’s wrist.

He moved out of the way of the street light, holding Damial’s wrist out, staring at the shadows on the ground in absolute disbelief.

“You have four and you didn’t tell me?!” He have shrieked in excitement, looking up at Damian in surprised. The other man raised a concerned eyebrow.

“Four wh-“ His throat closed in on itself, and the world around him seemed to melt away as he stared at his hand. Four- four strings. There were four fatestrings connected to his fingers. Four-

Four soulmates?

Taglist:

To be added later

#sanders sides #ts fandom'ts sides #soulmate au #soulmates #remy sanders #emile sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #damian sanders #sympathetic deceit #to tie a knot #ttak #sanders sides soulmate au #fatestring #holy shit this took forever

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