#ANYWAY that's where ive been for the last week
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
crasso has +100% immunity to any and all rumors, but he draws the line at anything that might cause people to think that ciceron is the father of either of his kids. anyone else would be fine, but he draws the line at ciceron on account of Disliking Ciceron So So SO Much
so!! I finished the first draft of bad governance! which means now I get to edit everyone's dialogue and sometimes during the course of editing, you come across a scene that accidentally sounds like a B plot to a teleserye (you know how they can get). like, I know i have to cut it from the final draft, but it can live on as a comic for my own amusement
the historical dynamic this is based on is extremely funny to me btw
Plutarch, Crassus
Publius Crassus - ‘optimus adulescens’ and his unfortunate career, Ireneusz Łuć
unintentionally this gets into some historical parentage drama, cicero made about publius' (peter, in this story) father being someone other than crassus
Plutarch, Cicero
(the running bit for bad governance is that no one is entirely sure what's going on with crasso's household. crasso calls marcus and peter his sons, but marcus rotates between calling crasso 'dad,' 'kuya,' 'tiyo,' and 'nanay.' no one in that house clarifies anything to anyone else.)
#bad governance the series#republikang romano remixed#ANYWAY that's where ive been for the last week#i had to do. research. on the government for a minute. and also pull up martial law records. this story gets. uh. grim in places#so we gotta. hold on to the levity while we can. (<< said by me. gripping the sink while staring into a mirror)#(bro i was doing research on a famine my mom lived through and i want the marcos admin 2.0 to walk into the ocean immediately)#you might also wonder what crasso's gender is if you follow along with my posting elsewhere. great question!#komiks tag
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
silly little sara
#ive been trying lots of new coloring stuff these last few weeks#whatever i did here is the most fun#i was trying to do the thing lots of gouache artists do#where its a bright underpainting and then they do the colors on top and leave space for the underpainting to shine through#I Finally Figured Out How To Do It Digitally#anyways#yttd#your turn to die#kimi ga shine#sara chidouin#yttd sara chidouin#kgs#yttd fanart#sara yttd
600 notes
·
View notes
Text
Our power is back on!!!!!😭💖💖🌟🌟
#it was out for 10 days 😭😭😭😭😭#it was caused by hurricane helene that hit the carolinas really bad last week#i live in south carolina not north#but South Carolina especially the upstate (where i live) got hit pretty bad#lots of fallen trees on houses and everybody lost power#nowhere as bad as north carolina but still 😭😭#very intense#i also had a very fun adventure of getting food poisoning a couple days ago😭😭😭😭#so ive been eating nothing but dry cereal and tea since lol#the power came on last night#i immediately cleaned everything haha#the scariest part is how out of the blue all of this was#had no idea it was going to happen#anyway hopefully this week i can get back to it!!!#making more art and stuff#my drawing tablet plugs into the wall and it killed me last week not being able to draw on the computer 😭😭😭#minor problems ik 😭😭#very happy and grateful rn#also gonna take a lot of naps bc im very tired lol
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Many of you will not understand it. Many of you will probably turn your nose up in disgust at it. But Bedlam fans I propose to you my favorite crackship ever: Ching (Charles/Sing) (thats their ship name because it sounds like cha ching like in $$$ get it. because Sing came into his wealth through the EIC and Charles was born rich)
#THIS ONE'S FOR ME AND CAIT THANKS FOR ENABLING ME#this ship came about around the last week of august 2023#where we all threw out crack ships and this one hit me in the face like a major shitstorm#ive been thinking about them ever since#anyways a song that reminds me of them is thrill of first love from falsettos#my art#fanart#art#natasha pulley#the bedlam stacks
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Netherlands Rarepair Week day 1- Lies
#nedrarepairweek2024#it’s impossible for me to write the Netherlands where he isn’t at least a little bit of an asshole#ive been procrastinating on making stuff for this real hard#but it’s gonna get done I swear#tomorrows production value is going way up just you wait 😈😈#the last month or so has been actually insane so hopefully things calm down enough for me to finish everything on time#and I’m hopefully submitting my first college application this week#pray for me hashtag scared#anyway#hetalia#aph netherlands#hws netherlands#aph germany#hws germany#nedger#my art
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).
I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?
That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.
Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia 💌
TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask 💌 , and I send you all the hugs.
Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.
(First off… while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)
Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you can’t be “defending an abuser” when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example — 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.
(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)
Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma don’t make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.
Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control — not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.
Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.
We all know Amy — she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, it’s why he’ll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor “You make it so they don't want to let you down.”, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the “Scottish girl in the English village” who's “still got that accent,” because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctor’s role in Amy’s formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).
Abuse is always based in control. That just doesn’t fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her “kind of boyfriend” (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) — her Season 5 disregard of Rory’s feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.
(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her “Well, shut up then!” line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesn’t take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)
And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices — but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.
If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.
Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.
#abuse#rtd critical#anti rtd#im NOT really anti rtd but im tagging it that because some people block that tag and uhhhh this post strays into rtd critique#maybe he does regret how he wrote the master! we'll never know because rtd is very anti-admitting-his-own-mistakes#words by seaweed#anyways tia i am. SO relieved you’re not upset with me about our last disagreement?#i high key jumped to conclusions after the lack of reply to the last DM? so thank you for this ask it's great to hear from you#sorry you were in a debate about this! that sounds extremely awful.#anyway i'm gonna WAIT at least a week to tag Amy and Rory to avoid this showing up in the character tags right away haha#because I am KINDA scared the anti-media-literacy ppl will find this (I had to include the first part tho its important)#(lack of distinction between harm to audience *in fiction* and irl harm *to actual ppl* leads to problematic public apologies where-#-public figures apologize to fans they let down *instead* of the people they actually hurt. no it doesn't work like that)#(parasocial relationships are not more important than real victims agency or privacy)#and I am planning to make a post at some point about the nd aspects of Amy+the Doctor's connection which this stuff IS relevant to soooooo#am I going hard on specifying Season 5 Amy to under the assumption that the uncharacteristic Rory-slapping isnt whats bein talked abt?#maybe. its not in character.#editing to say..... yanno what? ive come to terms with not all the posts with the following tag been about the doctor#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#editing again to add character tags:#Amy pond#Rory williams
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
being sick while getting caught red-handed...!!
#fhr#mortumchargestep#mortumstep#chargestep#julia ortega#dr mortum#fhr rat king#fh: julia ortega#fh: dr mortum#fh: rat king#sidestep: anita lee#myarts#mycomics#myaus | happy ending 202X#myaus | mortumchargestep aka nerd fuckers#mortunita | soft hands be patient for me#julita | when will we ever be each others#hiiiiii ive been sick since last week so wasnt online here that much _(:'3#finally feeling better so heres a lil comic where neets and mortum are sick but bc theyre nerds#just snuck away from the bed to their lab to do some upgrade ideas for RK's body#julia took nearly two hours before she remembers shes dating a mad scientist and a literal tech expert sO#rat king is just vibing there#and i think this is my first time drawing rat kings actual body???? yeah HJDSGHSDJHKG#ANYWAY RUNS
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
perpetually pingponging between having competitive dog ambitions and wanting nothing to do with the dog community ever again 🏓
#dogblr#dog sports#anyway i finally got a dt launcher#ive been wanting one since mav was a baby#they arent even that expensive i just was too nervous to ruin my dog#(a dt launcher shoots a blank and launches a toy to teach gundogs how to retrieve and be steady to gunshot)#i am semi confident in my ability to work rory to it without ruining her#if i get it soon i can spend like 6 weeks making her wild about the toy it launches#indoors and in the city#and then once the snow melts it should be simple to introduce the shot#anyway im having field test dreams#but at the same time LOATHE many of the people involved#anyway#thats where im at#i did buy the launcher though so we'll see#semirelated: the person who got top rally brittany this year got huge praise from the breed club president#who refused to acknowledge that mav won it last year#it doesnt matter but it made me so sad#someone on the breed club told me how important it was that i stay involved and i push for change#but they lowkey broke my heart by being so mean about mav#cant handle me at my worst (beautiful perfect out of standard dog) dont deserve me at my best (beautiful perfect in standard dog)
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
from the short last Saturday...
"and most importantly,
"make sure to get enough sleep!"
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava shorts#ava the second coming#ava orange#ava the chosen one#avm green#--/ art#so there's a computer in the laptop inside the Desktop inside of ALANSPC...#where do they get their devices anyway?#i imagine them snagging the pngs from a store's website or something#anyway the computer-ception is great that may as well be how it works. seems like ALANSPC as a whole is corrupted by now?#enhanced? anomalized? possessed?#and that's not even Minecraft logic that's some vector graphics right there#the shell itself bends to the will of the animations#anyway ive been burnt out all December#last week's animation connected with my charred soul#x[n] = A/2exp(j*2π*f_hat*n + phi) + A/2exp(j*2π*-f_hat*n + phi) everybody#sketched this at midnight oops#don't worry im a professional
222 notes
·
View notes
Text
semester is almost over. im dying
#my oc#rune#mori#i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing#even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED#i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately#trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day#and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom#a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere#and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man#i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH#but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week#this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail#and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont#i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i#how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project#my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that#so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work#because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it#but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO#anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
my favorite thing/being/plant in this show currently
#dunmeshi#we have a calendar where we draw stuff on it#its our friday night watch#i drew this last week but i just wanted to share it here#i havent read the whole manga but ive been following along w the current episodes#so i have the tag blocked everywhere bc spoilers ahoy lol#anyways these Fuckers are Delightful
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
mental illness
#i think. uhm i think and this isn’t good#but i think my recent lows are like. affecting everything including my ocs#a ‘nobody will ever be able to love me’ is also turning into a#‘nobody will ever be able to love my characters’ kinda thing#i have this thing where i just randomly decide nobody likes me out of nowhere and just disappear because i think it’s ‘for the better’#which obviously. this is not true. i know it’s not. but it’s still a thing that just happens sometimes#especially lately my emotions have been all over the place. there’s just a lot of loneliness but then i let myself be lonely because#some part of me still thinks i deserve it#not good! it’s not guys it’s not sooo good#granted ive had a busy last week so naturally i didn’t get to interact with my friends a lot#i forgor where i was going with this#anyways recent worries of me being unlovable have transferred to my ocs#i don’t think they have what it takes to be loved just like i don’t have what it takes to beloved#like father like child kinda thing#oh well it’ll get better some time i’m sure!#i’m confident that this will pass but for now i’ll just have to live through it. which is fine!#dios wisdom#vent#rant#i suppose
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ya know.#after having spent about a month and a half in são paulo with my grandparents i can now confidently say that im ready to go home#and thats not brasil's fault at all and is instead a reflection of who my grandfather is as a person#i love him. i love both my grandparents. but with my grandmother at the stage of alzheimer's shes in he just doesnt have patience#to help her the way she needs. and hes been very very happy to put all of that onto me. EYE give her all her medication.#EYE make sure she bathes. EYE make sure she eats. EYE make sure she stays hydrated (somehow the hardest part of it all)#and theres been multiple times. including about an hour ago. where she says something to piss him off and send him into a shouting fit#and its just so beyond counterintuitive and unhelpful. like shouting and bitching and whining isnt helping anyone#and im ready to pass this responsibility to my aunt after being put into a situation no one warned me about#i was never told my grandmother had deteriorated to this degree. i was never told my grandfather's temper was getting worse.#i was just. never told. and while ive had an incredible time meeting family and seeing things ive never seen before#and enjoying what is the last time i will ever get to do something like this with my grandparents#im also really happy to go home next week. im going to miss brasil so much and ive enjoyed every second ive been here#but im ready to not be the mediator anymore. im ready to have a room to myself again. to not sleep in a cot thats literally (LITERALLY)#1 foot away from my grandparents' in this itsy bitsy hotel room#im ready to not be the sole person shouldering all this responsibility. a responsibility i wasnt warned about in advance#and i hope my father can bring me back to brasil next spring like he says he will so i can see rio. god i HOPE.#anyway. the weather is gray and gloomy today and im feeling a bit maudlin about it all#i hope everyone is well and i miss you all. im sorry for not answering the messages i have. things havent exactly been the easiest lately.#i love you all ♥️ and happy sunday#personal
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
there is this tiktok that i have saved from last week when there were only like 4 gas stations open here and every time i remember it i just. the video was filmed literally right behind my apartment. i drive that road almost DAILY. i can literally see those signs FROM MY BED. that's MY HOME.
#its really one of those 'you think it could never happen to you' things#and in my defense it SHOULD have never happened to me bc there shouldn't ever BE hurricanes here#but like#there are so many videos out there now that I've seen and am just like yeah. i know where that is. i drive down that road often.#ive been there. i live there.#and its terrifying cus as big as my city is is only famous for like 2 things so it is never like. ANYWHERE.#and now I've seen it all over.#anyway im not sharing the tiktok for obvious reasons but. yeah.#really of you search for any videos of the gas lines in ga in the last week you'll basically see what I'm talking about anyway#im sorry i will shut up about it at some point but we're STILL dealing with it here so. i need to vent occasionally.#and my family is also dealing with it still so i can only vent to then so much.#one of my sisters JUST got power back and the other 2 haven't yet and its been more than a week now.#i was VERY FUCKING LUCKY to have gotten mine back on Monday#shh ac
2 notes
·
View notes