#ANON BABY I'M SORRY

[eluxcastar]

Meeting their s/o's reincarnation in the next life, but on the enemy's side

── ୨୧：ky luc, chess belle, crowley eusford x reader (separate)

୨୧﹑synopsis :: a past lover departed all too soon, never supposed to meet them again, though immortality will make that possible. it was never how they expect it to end up.

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, mentions of violence, brief mentions of suicide (staged), implied kidnapping, stockholm syndrome if you squint, 90% of these are for chess, she may be ooc, crowley's past s/o is amab, also not explicitly his s/o (historians say they were roommates)

୨୧﹑words :: 4.5k

ky luc apparently WASN'T IN THE FIRST ONE??? 🤨 so anyway our catboy gets put here, Chess' deleted because I fell asleep writing it and istg I could cry Idk hers was an idea that tickled my brain. I was gonna include Horn but then I saw the word count at just Ky and Chess and withered away

part one | part two

─ ୨୧： ky luc

He always knew that at some point, you must leave this world before him.

Ky can remember the times he used to watch his dear lover, his still very Human lover from his very Human life, yet as he leaves that life behind in order to pursue the thing that interests him next he finds that he can not yet stray too far. Even when Sika Madu will scold him for sneaking out he ignores the many warnings in order to see you, watch you more like. It comes from a place of good in his heart.

The person he watches day to day to ensure your health and happiness. As far as you knew, Ky had passed in a tragic accident, though you never were fond of hearing the specifics, and your life goes on with a hole where he used to be. He begins to notice when you come out of your shell again and slowly cheer back up, it's visible in your demeanour and the spring back in your step. Your beautiful smile, your warmth is back for the first time in a while.

It's also very visible when you begin to grow ill, first just a minute cough here and there that began to grow into full-blown fits, you told the Doctor you couldn't breathe at times, and that these fits were beginning to make you dizzy. He could see you deteriorate more and more with each day, and none of the treatments you were trying were working and it frustrated him to no end. Ky rarely knows the specifics of how sick you are, having to wait for you to mention it to someone and only then, it had to be one of the times he was in earshot to hear it, because in your mind he was long dead. You start making the odd jokes every so often that this is 'just Ky becoming impatient', and something tells him you're worse off than you're letting on.

"God, now I'm imagining my dead husband." is your response when he first breaks his deal with Sika Madu not to get too close. Ky doesn't deviate from that narrative, using it as his leeway to take your hand and shush you, telling you to just rest. "Things were finally starting to look up again." You have done nothing but worry him, and now you seem to enjoy that more than ever as you talk to what you still believe is a mirage. "They say that there's nothing they can do, just to arrange my affairs and pray. Perhaps we will be together again sooner than we thought."

And just like that he snaps from his thoughts, staring at one of the soldiers who had arrived on the bus with the gang of teenagers, one who looks so eerily similar to a string of memories he has that it's impossible to shake. Ky could take a picture of that one, travel back in time and hold it up to his lover and he'd see two of the same people staring back at him. It's almost scary, thinking about how easy it would be to break that little soldier even when he wouldn't dream of laying a finger on the person he mistook them for at first.

Just as quickly as you appeared you're running off with those kids telling them not to cause a fuss, like they were little children you're hopelessly trying to parent, and it clicks with him your uniform is different. It's not so drastic you look like you're in a different army but the adornments it holds say enough—the reason you're scolding those five are because you are like their parent. You're one of their superiors. Feasibly any curiosity he may have held would've been much easier to indulge with a standard private rather than an established higher up.

It feels as if it all went too fast, as an innocent little assignment from Lord Urd leads to him getting chased around by this very strong, very angry 'little soldier' who he thought would be so easy to crush between even his fingers like a pesky little insect. Ky thought sacrificing Ferid would be enough, but you ran after him after his retreat like you had a death wish. Indeed, as he manages to grab you by the throat and slam you against the ground where you will stay put, he does finally get to see you closely.

It's as if he looks down at his lover, sleepy and at peace, reaching up to caress his cheek and murmur something to him; he can't quite remember word for word, but he remembers enough. Everything down to the smell of the room ingrains itself within his mind and etched out a clear picture, even the smell is there as he swears he can pick up the faint scent of smoke and wax from the candle he recalls living at your bedside where you would light every night. The feeling of your hand touching his skin and leaving a pleasant ringing in the wake of your fingertips as you stroke his cheek to ask if he's tired yet, all before Ky leans down to place a gentle kiss against your forehead.

Then he realises he has you pinned to the ground, and he's choking the life out of you as you claw at his face after giving up on his hands which had reddened due to how vicious your nails were scratching him. Ky eases up his grip on your neck and you immediately gasp for air, your chest heaving just to try and pull yourself together. He realises he's killing the only trace of you left on this earth, a little soldier who shares your face, and who hates him in just the way you must for what he's done to you.

He can't bring himself to squeeze any harder, he releases you completely and stands from where he had crouched by your side. Ky watches as you roll yourself over and cough on seemingly nothing a couple of times, barely even reacting as he practically scurries away knowing you'll be better off if he leaves while you're stuck in a state you can't possibly chase anymore.

The third time you meet is the middle of your newest battlefield, a mess of blood, fire and the smell of death as you're both standing in the remnants of countless of your comrades. He's far too close, inspecting your neck closely, and his thumb brushes over the deep purple marks imprinted in your skin, the bruises yet to fade. You shove Ky away almost the second he touches you, and he allows it. He's watching you be sent flying within seconds, a chain far too recognisable coming down between you and flicking at you with what looked like barely any force. You had been relatively passive until now, but it must've taken you from observer to fighter. Offence fighter. It's what tips you from tolerant, and he can only assume you saw it as a breach of this relatively peaceful interaction. You launch yourself at him, weapon in hand, and he's forced to weigh his opinions in the few seconds he has to decide whether or not to strike. It feels as if time stops just for this decision, and he wonders, if he couldn't kill you before what changed?

Even if he wanted to, Ky knows he could never hurt you, the you he loved that is, but you look so much like that person…you look so much like that person he can't take the thought.

He wonders if you ever once hesitated in your decision the way he has every time he's tried to hurt you, but contrary to how he imagined it, he doesn't feel even a hint of pain. If he wasn't watching his body collapse to his knees and begin to deteriorate into the air, he wouldn't even know you'd cut his head off. It feels peaceful. It feels peaceful to think of what life could've been if he had never left you in the first place. He certainly wouldn't be watching Lest Karr charge at you in a fit of childish anger, nor would he have seen what became of you as he is now. Perhaps he could've gone with you, to the place where you found your peace, your family. He can only think back again, back to what you last said to him, about seeing him again…at the time you couldn't wait.

"At last, we'll be together again, love. I'm sorry I made you wait so long."

─ ୨୧： chess belle

The turn of the century offers you just about everything you could ever ask for in a life of crime and con artistry — an atmosphere, clothes, the people, the places, the boom in the economy that was making you richer and richer — and you both cash your cheques with a laugh knowing you'll be set for a while now, this will tide you over even if you decide to have a little fun and drink together like you don't have a limit.

Many people look at the way you look at each other and scowl, but it's never stopped you before. The thing that would stop you sounds closer to a bad con, or more like cheating. You suspect one of the players is observing the cards of the people around the table through a third party, the one serving you drinks, so you slip an unwanted card away under your clothes where it's out of sight while nobody is looking too closely. You thought it was fine, until you win the round now with more than a few cards tucked away and suddenly he explodes. It's so unreasonable it completely ruins the mood, but nobody wants to stand against him.

He obviously knows you're a 'damn con artist' as he puts it, but playing dumb and collecting Chess from the other table insisting to her you have to leave now doesn't get you far. You both decide to get out of town and move on before the whole ordeal is blown out of proportion. It already is as he's got his panties in a twist over the money you just made him lose, valuable time he could've spent playing someone who wasn't a cheating bitch. You know it's safer not to loiter just because there's profit to be made, there's so many better places you can run to with your darling girlfriend that one place will mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, and you'll find some place where you can happily marry whether or not deception may be necessary.

You're not exactly sure how a card game where you returned the notion of cheating to win ended this way, with a gun to your head in a place where Chess would find you. A pen in your hand and a piece of paper in front of you, writing exactly what you're told word by word as it evolves into what looks like a suicide note. You're not in love with her anymore, and you won't live a loveless life. You can't fathom those things let alone writing them for her to read and blame herself for your death. You try to work things in under his nose, stupid pet names you've never called her before, or that she heard and laughed uncontrollably because you were intentionally being embarrassing or some event that never happened as you're told to 'give an explanation'. The last thing you write is how you can't stand her abuse anymore, and you know that she'll know you don't have a say in this, you know she's never actually raised a hand to you or chewed you out when you didn't do something to deserve it.

Chess finds you some hours later, taking your body in her arms even when she hears the gun fall to the ground, you're staining her clothes with blood and she's covering her hands in it just to cradle you in her arms begging you to come back.

You find yourself bound and restrained, laying on the bed you'd been sleeping in in a daze where the little purple-haired Vampire has you held down with her own body straddling your waist and pressing you into the mattress. It feels like she's draining you, and you can't push her away when your arms are tied. You feel light-headed. You aren't even sure how you ended up here, vaguely recalling her asking if she can keep 'this one' in reference to you. You think you were ambushed by her. At some point she decided to keep you more than ever, and had taken you home with her where you had been for a few days now. Sometimes Horn watches you to see exactly what she's has been doing with her new toy, sometimes you're alone with Chess and she's oddly tender.

It's one of the times you're alone, and you're trying to think of how many days it's been since she began this. "I thought I would never see you again." She says it suddenly, like you're supposed to know what she's talking about as she lays down beside you, "We made that guy so mad he got us kicked out, but we had lots of fun in that place." You turn your head to look at her, and she reaches up to stroke your cheek.

"Can…Can I be untied yet…" You almost don't want to interrupt her, but there's an ache in your joints from how uncomfortable it is and you wonder if catching her at this moment will make her comply.

"Hmph!" She pushes herself back up and sits back on top of you, her thighs squeezing you tightly, "Are you gonna run away?" You vigorously shake your head, a noise something like a whimper escaping you. "You're not much like you used to be y'know, or maybe you just aren't like that for me anymore… Are you always this much of a fraidy cat?"

She shuffles back to make room for you to sit up, reaching behind you to untie you as she said she would. "You've been keeping me as livestock after killing all of my friends." The amount of relief you feel having your arms freed is indescribable, "Sorry I'm not all over you."

"Hm. It's just like we were when we first met, except you thought I was a fraidy cat. The police wouldn't investigate your death, they were glad one of us was gone."

"My what?" You can't quite follow what she's saying, though you can piece some things together. She seems to have mistaken you for someone she used to know, and she loves that person enough to be delusional to the fact that if they're dead and you're supposedly them, you can't be under her 'care' right now. She is so unimaginably gentle towards you that you allow it when she wants to curl up in your arms, partly out of fear and partly just so she'll think twice about hurting you again if she thinks you're warming up to her.

On and off for months she comes to you, allowing you minimal freedom but slowly providing you more trust. She let's you wander, but not too far, keeping you mostly in the one room where she visits you and feeds you, she tells you a lot about who you used to be. You understand now, and you're so grateful she found you again. It's a pity you don't have any memories of that but she never spares a detail in telling you all about it. You used to think she was keeping you something like her pet, but you start to grow more and more fond of her.

You let her have you, now that you know she's just trying to help her misguided lover break away from how much the Humans brainwashed you. You can't ask for more, even when people are starting to question why she devotes so much attention to a Human, even Horn wants to know. She especially wants to know whether Chess is just dancing about the rather glaring issue: your body will not remain this way forever, you'll grow out of looking the way she remembers you very soon. She insists Chess must give you her blood, right in front of the both of you, and Chess initially brushes it off.

Then she starts thinking, the best way to keep you by her side is to never be able to be killed by the likes of Humans ever again. Besides, if she does that, then you'll finally be safe. The Humans won't even want you back let alone try brainwashing you into believing Vampires are unruly monsters again. Yes, this way, you will truly be safe from them and all their lies.

"Will you let me give you my blood now? You never have to die again, we'll always be together."

─ ୨୧： crowley eusford

There is a semblance of repose he finds in speaking to you, a crusader still in training just under him, and Crowley finds your antics rather amusing if not a little out of line sometimes. It isn't easy to reign you in until he's more practised at the 'skill', but something about just how carefree you can manage to be is a relief to him, a breath of fresh air he isn't used to. He likes listening to you laugh about something childish and possibly quite stupid in his eyes, not because he completely shares your idea of humour but just because he likes your look of joy. He likes seeing you try to run away to escape the children who have decided you're the coolest person in the world all for their entertainment, so they can 'catch' you and brag about it.

Most of all, Crowley likes that you'll come visit him if and when you please, not because of any particular obligation to do so or because someone asks. Sometimes he just likes hearing about what you have to say, even if you just came to him bubbling with excitement about something you absolutely had to tell anyone right this second. He's flattered you choose him for that all the time. Of course you listen to him, and you have made remarks that you feel like more than just friends, ending it with 'like brothers'.

He doesn't think of you that way, something more than friends, but not brothers, it just…doesn't feel right. He wants more from you, but that seems to be more you can't provide, especially not in your current position, not when you want to be a holy knight so badly. You may be a bit of a goof ball, but you try to take your oaths seriously. You try to ease his mind with a promise that you'll keep coming to him for your bouts of energy. Crowley treats that as a vow, a silly vow and rather innocent but a vow no less.

He knew that one day it would happen, and you'd find yourself out in the world at war. What he didn't expect was for you to end up on the ground in a heap, a pool of blood forming around you. A hand is desperately trying to cover the wound and stop the bleeding. There's so much blood that even if he did stop it your vision is already waning, your consciousness wearing thin. He tries to take hold of your hand, though you can't seem to find where his hand is as you grab at the air, then finally he takes your hand. The frustration that had been building on your face dissipates as you manage to relax and almost melt into the arm that's holding you up. You slur your words when you try to speak to him, feeling him hold you tighter than he had been before the hand that you had been leaning on was at your head, holding you close to him.

Neither of you pay attention to the battle raging on around you, the screams and bloodshed, not to the body that falls right in front of you or at the metallic sound of swords clashing, a harsh sound. Suddenly you can't feel the ground beneath you, and Crowley fumbles in place trying to keep you steady. "You have to keep fighting, Sir Crowley."

"No! No, we're going home." He tries to insist that, but you know you'd never make it close to home, nor will you as he falters and is forced to drop back to his knees and lower you down. "Let's go home." He says.

"We can't go home. Don't leave everyone else just for me, they need you." He doesn't want to listen, trying to convince you to save your strength. It won't help anything and he knows that, but he's clinging to your life more than you are, until he knows he's holding nothing but an empty shell in his arms. He still doesn't want to let go, but one of his comrades is urging him to get up and fight. Avenge him.

He notices one of the Demon Army uniforms pass by him out of the corner of his eye, and as soon as he looks over he sees you sitting beside him in the passenger seat where Ferid had wandered off from. It's not unwelcome but he finds it odd that you'd be so comfortable, or maybe just choosing his company over Ferid's pestering. He likes having company, but he doesn't like company that talks as much as his dearest friend, something about it sounds…different. It's not as enjoyable when they don't seem to have a lot of enthusiasm, he can't make their eyes light up with questions, they just speak for the sake of speaking.

"We saved a Mother and child, from the horsemen, just before we spotted you guys actually. It makes me wonder if we'll run into more but since we haven't spotted any so far, I think we should be fine. Spotting them has never really been my strong suit, and I'm kinda tired so I'm not 100% right now— Oh, but uh, anyway, getting ahead of myself again. Do you always have to deal with that?" You ask, glancing over away from the road, unable to deal with how awkward it was after spilling every thought you'd had in the past house while you were just trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep. "With him, I mean."

He's noticed you tucked away in the corner of the group the whole time, never having much to say and none of them really seemed to know what to say to you either. You seem more like an outlier who just so happened to be there as well, not well known enough to be instantly part of conversation but too important to be left behind. He's starting to take a liking to you, or at least a liking to the way you talk, it's strangely familiar like you've known him for years and can talk to him so casually. He has next to no idea who you ever are.

"It's all he's done since the day we met. I take it that deserting the army wasn't exactly what you had in mind?"

"My team died, it was my fault." You confess, turning your eyes to the floor, shifting your feet, "I turned my back for a second and suddenly all hell broke loose. I saw Narumi and followed." Despite that you don't sound distraught, just inconvenienced, but maybe you'd adopted the mentality that crying about it won't bring them back.

"What were you supposed to do? Fight off all the danger they were in by yourself?"

"I should've coordinated them better, and maybe then they wouldn't have died." Your smile fades, but your mind quickly starts to wander. "Do you mind if I sleep here for a while? I don't think I've slept in days."

"We're almost there, so it probably won't be very long. Sleep when we get there instead."

One scare later and you're so exhausted you could collapse any second, Crowley himself notices as much when you decline a test of skill and pass right by him. He comes to see you later, to ask if you'd like to go see what's downstairs and see what's down there now that everyone's chatting amongst themselves and has moved on from it. You decline again, but you're in the mood to talk again, and he wants to hear you talk, so he sits on the edge of the bed you took up and are laying in.

Crowley begins to pick up on things, little things, even in the way he's heard about you from asking around. Apparently the kids in the town you took refuge in liked you, their awesome and very respected Lieutenant who ran around with them playing their games to keep them entertained. Apparently you're easy enough to get along with. He agrees with that, finding you interesting just to listen to, it's a strange thing. He forgot what is was like to have someone so excited to talk, and with you bring a soldier…no, that's a whimsical thought. You have no idea who he is, just that he's more than happy to listen.

You're just so welcoming toward him, so reminiscent of that person he knew and who he held in his arms. Crowley knows that man is dead, he felt him still in his arms, and he felt his breath stop, the blood that coated his hands and the dull look in his eyes uncharacteristic of him. He looks at you in the same way he looked at him and he sees someone that isn't you staring back at him. He doesn't have the same kind of feeling, but give it enough time and he'll find himself head over heels for that memory you ignite in him. The memory of him listening to you talk, and the memory of losing you.

He likes to listen to you, he likes your company. He spends more time around you, and you accept him as the closest person you have in this new circle. You are becoming an object of his affections, and he welcomes you as you stray from your group to follow him. He knows how to protect you this time, from anything, as your title is returned to nothing in the face of millennia old monsters he will be there to fix it. Even if he's a little too late, having a Vampire by your side means a little stab wound would never be enough to kill you.

He doesn't quite believe the fact you may very well be his dear friend reincarnated, but that will hardly keep him from protecting you all the same.