#AND- proud to say I made it clear with weekend work that I'm not doing discos until I have training

[crayonurchin]

I got the job :)

[russellsppttemplates]

I want this every day (Charles Leclerc)

Charles has been frustrated with the team's strategies and the results he's been getting lately so you find a way to cheer him up

Note: english is not my first language. I was going to write it earlier on the week, but then I felt like I a jinxing it so I stopped... but after today, I think it's a good place to start...

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions Jules Bianchi

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

Another race weekend where he was out qualified by his team-mate left Charles with the feeling that if it came to it, he was almost one hundred percent sure they would ask them to swap positions.

Points for the team would be important anyway and they came away with a good amount and the car showed to be competitive enough considering the RedBull dominance on the grid, but the frustration was still there.

With the team and with himself.

They told him they'd keep him - there wasn't a quesion put down about his contract -, Il Predestinato wasn't something he carried lightly but often times it was confusing. Without the support and appreciation from inside the team, it was proving difficult to achieve their goals.

His childhood dream was driving for Ferrari and Suzuka always carried a heavier weight for him. As he took off his helmet and was faced with the number 17 on the side, he apoligised. To Jules, who he wanted to make proud every day but even more on this particular track. To his fans, who deserved better than this. To you, who were there for him, arms open for a hug and a shoulder where he could cry and let his feelings out on, to hold him and remind him every single time that all of the nonsense commentators and the media still had the audacity to say about him despite his continous shows of intelligence, skill and talent, and to love him.

The way you loved him was something he had never felt before and had never thought he deserved.

The face you were giving everyone in the garage that dared look at you wasn't unfortunately a rare occurrence, hence the fact that so very few team members approached you, "Charles is just finishing his interviews, he should be here soon", Silvia said before excusing herself from the garage.

You walked to your boyfriend's driver room, knowing he would end up in there soon enough after greeting the mechanics and engineers.

He stepped inside the room less than fifteen minutes later, finding your embrace immediately as his arms wrapped around your waist, "it's not fair that this keeps happening", he mumbled.

"I know it isn't", you kissed his stubbly cheek while rubbing his back soothingly.

"I thought I could've done so much better, for the fans, for you, for Jules", he hiccuped, letting himself be vulnerable after bottling up everything he was feeling.

"You did us proud, Charles - he is always so proud of you", you cupped hisface in your hands as you hoped the words got through to him, "okay?".

The flight back home had Charles sleeping most of the time, the whole rush of the weekend catching up with his body as he slept with his head on your thighs, your fingers playing with his locks while you arranged your schedule for the week ahead.

"I was thinking we could spend some time together today", you said over the phone, hoping he hadn't booked anything since you made sure that Andrea and Joris had cleared his schedule so you could make this happen without a hitch.

"You don't have work?", Charles asked, "no, I arranged a few things and a meeting got cancelled", you explained.

"Good, I don't have anything to do either, I was just going to stay home, but being with you sounds much nicer, my place or your place?", he wondered.

"My place, please", you replied immediately, "I just want to change my clothes and I'm feeling like spending the afternoon in", you tried, hoping he would catch on and not mess up your surprise.

"Okay, amour! Do you need me to pick you up from work?", Charles asked and you heard a small smile on his face. You weren't sure why, but Charles really got a kick out of dropping you off and picking you up from work, so you felt bad for the answer you were giving him, "it's okay, you can meet me there, I'm already walking", you said as you drove out of the shop and headed home. It was an inoffensive lie but you kept telling yourself it was for a greater good.

"Okay, I'll meet you there in twenty minutes or so", he said, "Je t'aime, mon amour".

Riccardo seemed to have parked the car at the front of your building, making you get the bag out of your car trunk and join him and his family, "hey guys! Thank you for coming to this", you smiled, touching Chiara's foot softly and getting a giggle out of the little girl.

"No worries, this is such a nice idea and we're happy to help!", Marta said, letting you walk up to the door so you could get to your apartment.

"For the first time in my life, I'm the first one somewhere, and then they showed up too!", Joris said as the rest of the group you invited stood up from the hallway floor.

"I'm sorry for making you wait, but I had to pick these up and then the call with Charles had to be done at the precise time so he wouldn't get here before I did!", you explained, unlocking the door and letting them in.

"So we're fine to wait, but Charles can't wait for you?", Joris teased, making kissing noises as you shook your head, "privileges of being my boyfriend - it is what it is!", you chuckled.

Delegating the small tasks you left for the last minute, Charles' text saying he had just parked the car was enough to capture you attention, "quick quick, go hide in the living room - careful with the board game boxes! He's coming up!", you ushered your friends to the living room before your boyfriend knocked on your door.

"Hello, my love", you said, kissing his lips and pulling him inside the supposedly quiet apartment.

"Hey, gorgeous girl - I missed you", he squeezed you tight once you closed the door, "I was getting in my he - what's that?", Charles asked as a noise came from the living room.

Chiara squealed loudly enough for him to hear, so in part your surprise was not such a surprise, "you're not alone?", he mused.

Lacing your hand in his, you pulled him to the living room as everyone jumped out of their places to greet him!

"Surprise - ish!", you waved your hands as if you were announcing some great show, "I gathered all your favourite people - Lorenzo is coming with Charlotte in a bit, he just picked her up from work and your mother also had a cliente so she'll arrive a little later. Arthur is in the bathroom?", you wondered as you saw him walk out and pat his brother's back, not missing the truly surprised look on his face as he pulled you closer to him, kissing your temple, "you're the best, amour, thank you", he whispered.

You had food laid out in the coffee table and drinks in the kitchen where everybody could serve themselves so you could have your dining table available for the board and card games you were playing along with some building blocks for Chiara who was immediately stolen from her parents once your boyfriend saw her.

"Do we want to make a castle? Or maybe a rollercoaster?", Charles mused with the little girl sitting on his lap, still keeping an eye on his Monopoly game to make sure no one was missing any of the payments on his properties, "Good job, chérie!", he congratulated her, kissing her chubby cheek.

"Do you want me to get you guys anything? I'm already going to the kitchen", you wondered, "can you fill this up for us, please?", Marta asked as she handed you the orange juice jug, "yes, of course!", you grabbed it.

"This was a great idea, Y/N", Lorenzo said whole he poured himself a drink as you stepped into the kitchen, "he's been in his head a lot recently", he began.

"It's not much, really, it was quite easy to put everything together and you being here was very kind", you brushed it off.

"Y/N, gathering his favourite people to do something he loves apart from racing may seem simple but it's what he needs right now - don't underestimate yourself or the ability you have to bring him back to a good mental space", he rubbed your shoulder before going back to open the door, "it's our mother", he excused himself.

You set the jug on the table and took Chiara from your boyfriend's arms, volunteering to change her nappy in your bedroom.

Charles hugged his mother tight, "Hello, mon petit", she cupped his face and kissed his cheek, "I'm not little anymore", Charles blushed, "you and your brothers will always be my little boys, I don't care how old or how tall you get", she smiled, greeting everyone else in the room.

His favourite people were all in the same place, Charles thought. Some were playing cards, some were just chatting and you just picked his friends' daughter to change her nappy like she was your own.

"Do you have room for one more? I'm usually pretty good at this!", Lorenzo said as he sat at the dining table, "you take my game - it's not too bad, just make sure Marta pays up what she owes me - two hotels in my blue cards", Charles raised his eyebrows, "I know you were counting on your daughter's cuteness to distract me, but I have excellent vision", he smirked.

Charles walked to your bedroom, seeing you close the diaper bag as Chiara kicked the air, layed on top of your comforter and giggling at the story you were telling her, "and then I had to tell the lady 'that won't do, because I have my boyfriend's family and our friends over for dinner and I can't have too little food! Even if I have left overs for weeks!' because that's what's right, right? She also had this very fluffy bread that was still warm from the oven so I asked her if she could add that because I knew you'd like it - bread is the best, isn't it, cutie?", you spoke.

You were it, he had known that for a long time.

You were the one he wanted to grow old with and go through every challenge life wanted to throw at you, because he knew you both could face them if you were there.

"And who is that spying on us, hm? It's Charles! Let's go and give Charles a big hug and many kisses!", you smiled, picking her up and approaching your boyfriend, cuddling into his chest as you kept the little girl on your arms, kissing his chest while Chiara palmed his face and giggled when Charles pretended to eat her fingers, "yummy fingers, nom, nom, nom".

"I need to get started on dinner - I'm doing that roast you really like", you offered, "I already prepped most of it, just need to cut up the veggies and then put in the oven, simple as that".

"C'mon, Chiara - I bet my mother is wondering where you are because she'll want a cuddle", Charles took her from your arms, "I'll be back for you", Charles slapped your butt playfully.

You were seasoning the food on the trays, making sure you weren't forgetting anything when your boyfriend walked up to join you, wrapping his arms around your waist, "thank you for this, I really needed it", he kissed under your ear, turning you around to face him and kissing your lips properly, "it's fine", you scoffed.

"No, I really needed it - it's easy to lose sight of these things and these moments", he began, "I was home and getting way too much into my own head and I wouldn't got to anyone unless they asked about it", he admitted, squeezing your body closer to his.

"I'm glad you liked it, it's truly nothing but I'm glad you're happy", you smiled, "I can't control what goes on your mind all the time but I'm going to make sure that whenever you're near me and say silly things about doubting yourself, I will always help you see the truth and work it out with you - no down talking about yourself when you're with me, understood?", you stated firmly almost like you were lecturing him.

"I know, amour", he giggled, kissing your forehead and then littering some more kisses on your face and making you break out in laughter loudly.

The dinner was great and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves as they ate the meal and spoke about whatever came to mind, summer plans already in discussion.

Charles was helping you put away the plates when he decided he would voice the thoughts running through his head. Usually at this time of the day he was already knee deep into strategies and failed attempts, but this time was different.

"I want this every day", Charles said with a big smile on his face.

"Well, not all of us have your schedule, it would be lovely, but maybe making it a weekly thing? Monthly maybe with your schedule?", you tried, not wanting to kick his idea straight to the trash.

"I don't mean that - I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I was wondering if you'd like to move in with me", Charles clarified, "there's no point to keep two places when realistically, we spend most times at eachother's place - you're down to what? Sleeping two nights here per week?", he noted as you smiled.

"You want to move in together?", you checked and he nodded, "yes, I do - honestly, I've thinking we keep my place since you're renting here and that way you'd be closer to work, too", he suggested.

"Sounds good to me", you smiled, kissing his lips, sealing the deal.

"I don't want to be far away from you when we don't have to be, and this way you can save on rent, too!", he added and before you truly lectured him, he caught you ahead, "I know you won't let me pay for things on my own and we will find some arrangement for that, I was just saying you won't have to keep paying your landlord", he smiled.

"I mean it when I say I want to split expenses, okay?", you argued, "unless you start going with expensive caviar or any of that crazy expensive stuff - my salary can't take that", you joked.

"When have you ever seen that in my fridge?", he threw his head back as he laughed.

"I'm only joking, handsome - I can't wait to move in with you", you hugged him, "I love you, Charles, can't wait to be your new roomie".

[redpill-tfs]

Red Wave

January 1st, 2025

Yo, so I started this Red Wave trial thing today. The docs said it’s supposed to, like, make your brain work better or something. Was told to track my thoughts in this journal thing. Honestly, I’m just here for the cash. I’m not buying into any of their science-y shit. Took the first pill this morning. Feel normal so far. Guess we’ll see if this stuff actually does anything.

Since I was told to describe myself a bit, I guess I might as well if I want that cash they promised. Name's Blake. I'm 26 and work at a local manufacturing company in the finance department. It's a pretty chill gig. Don't gotta wear a suit either which is good. Didn't even wear one to my graduation and I don't plan on starting now.

Anyway bro, I'm also a proud atheist. Never got into politics, but I guess I'm more liberal. I mean, just let people do what they want, right?

February 10th, 2025

Alright, not gonna lie, I’ve been feeling kinda sharp lately. Like, my head’s clearer, and I’m getting more stuff done at work. My boss Emily even said my presentation didn’t totally suck, which is rare. Oh, and I actually ironed my shirt today before work. Don’t know why—just felt like I should look decent. Weird, right? Maybe these pills aren’t total BS. I don't know why, but I've been thinking of wearing a tie to work...

March 12th, 2025

So get this, man: I bought a suit over the weekend. A whole grownup suit and a tie to go with it. I dunno know why, but I just felt like stepping up my game for my presentation at work today. And man did I look good. I got so many compliments on my fit. It honestly felt really good. My bros thought it was weird and so do I, but now that I have it I guess I'll use it at another presentation in the future.

April 15th, 2025

Something weird is going on. I heard some chick at work talking about her church today. Instead of scoffing and rolling my eyes, it made me, like, think a little. Like I got curious about it. I don't know what's going on, but I might have to check it out sometime.

Speaking of work, I've been wearing a tie more and more. It feels... right. People seem to notice too. I get so many compliments about them. I went back to the store and pick out a whole bunch of different colors. I may be the only guy in the department wearing one, but standing out isn't a bad thing I guess.

May 18th, 2025

Alright, so… I went to church today. Yeah, me. Blake, the proud atheist. Walked past St. Mark’s on the way to grab Starbuck's, and something just made me stop and go in. The music was kind of awesome, and the pastor’s talk about purpose hit me harder than I expected. I don’t even know what’s happening to me, but I’m starting to think there’s more to life than what I’ve been living. I might go back next week to see what I've been missing, but I'm not sure yet.

June 30th, 2025

This morning, I prayed. Like, actually prayed to God. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but it felt… good. I’ve also started reading bits of the Bible over the past week. There’s some deep stuff in there. Work’s going great, too. I’ve been mentoring one of the new guys, and Emily says she’s impressed with my leadership. Suits are now my everyday thing. Who knew dressing sharp could feel so right?

July 23rd, 2025

I’ve been pulling away from my old friends. Their whole sarcastic, edgy vibe just doesn’t sit right with me anymore. Instead, I’ve been hanging out with people from church who share my interest in self-improvement and faith. I’m even thinking about joining a volunteer group at the church. Life feels more meaningful now. My mind still feels so clear too. I don't know what this pill is doing to me, but it's working.

August 11th, 2025

I’ve been reflecting on some big ideas lately: responsibility, tradition, family values. They make so much sense now. I’ve also started watching a few commentators online who align with these views. Their logic is compelling. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. It’s like a veil has been lifted. Why should abortion be legal? Why should we violate the second amendment with gun control laws? Why do gays think thy can decide how the rest of us live our lives? So many questions I'm learning the answers to. I never paid much attention to politics, but maybe I should.

September 7th, 2025

Sunday service has become the cornerstone of my week. I’ve officially joined St. Mark’s and volunteered for their community outreach. Pastor Williams’s guidance has been invaluable. I’m entirely committed to this new path. My wardrobe, my habits, even my worldview have all transformed. I’m proud of the man I’ve become. I've said this a million times already, but it just feels right.

October 20th, 2025

Today is my birthday, and reflecting on this past year astounds me. My former self seems like a stranger. I’ve embraced faith, order, and purpose, and it just feels right. I got my hair cut to be a lot shorter than I once had it as a special birthday gift to myself. It feels more appropriate for my new image.

I had some friends from bible study over for a small party. I wore my best suit for the occasion. We played games, ate good food, and prayed of course. There was a riveting debate on the role of faith in politics. All in all, it was a good time. I can't believe how much my life has changed just in 10 months.

November 30th, 2025

Today was the final day of the trial. The scientist leading the study asked me all sorts of questions, from my conservative views to my faith in God and my new sense of style. I'm not sure what it all has to do with a mental focus pill, but I didn't feel like asking questions. I'm sure they know what they're doing. Anyways, I better get going. St. Mark's is having an event today to celebrate God and all of His glory. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

December 1st, 2025

The Red Wave trial has concluded with a 100% conversion rate among participants. Subjects exhibited profound and permanent shifts in personality, behavior, and worldview. Pre-trial skepticism and liberal inclinations were entirely replaced with conservative, faith-based identities. This case highlights the pill's efficacy in aligning individuals with structured, traditional conservative values. Further research will examine long-term societal impacts of widespread application. More subjects needed.

[grey342]

Hii! I’m so glad to see someone currently writing bradley cooper fics because honestly PHIL CAN GET IT. i wanted to request maybe a jealous!phil where reader goes on a friends bachelors trip and knowing Phil’s past he gets all angsty, as smutty as you’d like :) honestly anything you’d write id love!!

Don't leave me

Jealous! Phil x reader

synopsis - Phil's girlfriend goes on a trip for a bachelorette party and he's not happy about it.

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, Phil being dramatic, Phil being jealous (Obv), lingerie, slight handjob, P in V, riding and praise.

authors note - Thank you so much for this request and the sweet compliment! I gotta be honest i'm not a huge fan of angst so I made Phil a lil more dramatic and kinda sassy. I still hope you like it :)

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

This man is gonna be the death of me.

The main thought running through your head whilst packing. His remarks and whines can be heard from the next room.

Your close friend was having her bachelorette party this weekend but, she also wanted to spend a couple of days with the bridal party before her wedding. So you all decided to spend a long weekend in Vegas. And Phil is not happy about it.

"I mean, I don't get why you have to go," you roll your eyes at him, "it's not like she's your best friend."

"Oh yeah? And who is?" You retaliate, smirking.

"Me." He scoffs, as if this is obvious information, walking into the room. You take one look at him and start laughing.

You're not stupid, you kind of guessed why he was so mad about you going but now. He's made it really clear for you.

"What's so fucking funny?" He says confused, placing his hands on his hips. A gesture you would usually find attractive but right now, it's making you laugh even harder.

"I just, uh, I can't believe it," you say in between wheezes, " I mean. I had an idea but now it's so obvious." You quietly chuckle.

"What? What is? You're not making any sense." He declares, clearly getting frustrated. After calming yourself down you finally say-

"You're jealous." Apparently, it's now his turn to burst out laughing.

"What? Where the fuck did you get that idea?" He managed in between laughs.

"You're jealous. You're so insistent on me not going, you're trying to tell me all the bad things about the girls. I mean you literally just said "she's not your best friend, I am." You're SO jealous." You clarify.

He's silent just staring at you. You can see the clogs turning in his head to try and come up with a good response. You swear you can see the light bulb appear on top of his head.

"You're just saying that to make yourself feel better about leaving me. For a whole weekend might I add." He says almost sassily and walks out of the room. Clearly proud of himself.

"Sweetie," you sigh, "it's only three days. I'll be back before you know it. We can text throughout the day and call every night." You try to deal.

"Or I have a better idea... don't go and we can talk all day and all night. Face to face."

You groan in frustration. You cannot believe this is the type of conversation you were having with your grown ass boyfriend. Pick the sassy men they said. You internally roll your eyes.

You walk into the living room to see him practically pouting on the couch. Scoffing, you go to walk away when an idea pops into your head.

"Hey Phil, if you stop complaining right now you can have your present early." He looks at you confused.

"What the fuck do you mean "present"?"

"Well since you are so predictable," you emphasise the last word, " I knew you would act like this when I said i'm going on a trip. So, I bought you something as a "sorry for leaving you, you big baby" gift."

"You did?" You can see the glint of excitement in his eyes.

"Yes my little princess but, clearly you are a lot more upset than I anticipated so i'm willing to give it to you early. If you want it that is." You wager. There's a long pause where he's weighing out his options.

"Okay," he clasps his hand together, " I have decided that I would like my present early. BUT I still want one for when you come back." He leans back on the couch, glowing with pride.

"Fine. I'll be right back." He rubs his hand together in anticipation as you leave the room.

Moments later you're shouting down the hall, "close your damn eyes." He grunts in disapproval.

"Okay and open." He does and your met with a groan that also sound like a moan.

"Oh baby." You're stood in front of him in a lingerie set, barely covering anything. Plus it's in his favourite colour.

"Am I forgiven?" You say, moving down to straddle his lap.

"Yes. A million times yes." He exclaims instantaneously as you giggle.

His mouth meets yours passionately, with your teeth and tongues clashing. His hands make their way down to your ass and yours to his chest. Pushing him lightly so his back meets the couch.

His slowly starts to kiss your jaw, then down your neck and finally the top of your chest. He looks up at you, almost pleading, and you give him a look of approval. His hands move around your back to unclasp your bra.

He slides it off at an agonisingly slow pace. When the bra is fully off he stares at your chest in awe. He moves his head down taking one nipple in the mouth and groping the other. You let out a content sigh.

He switches over, repeating the same process as you began to rock slowly, back and forth, on his lap. His moans vibrate on your chest as your breaths turn into pants.

You reach down in between you and start pulling at the waistband of his grey sweatpants, indicating you want them off. He knows what you want and immediately begins to pull them down. You look down and eagerly take him in your hand. You swipe your thumb over the tip and began pumping up and down.

"Fuck.." He groans. You push your panties over to the side and slide onto him. Both of you moaning in unison. You'll never get used to the way he feels, filling you up perfectly.

Once you're both ready, you begin to move back and forth, riding him. His hands take sanctuary on your hips, slowly guiding you. You lean down, placing your mouth on his, capturing his groans in your mouth.

"You're doing so good. Riding my dick so well baby, my good girl." He says against your mouth. He reaches down and starts to rub slow circles on your clit. You whimper at the contact.

"Oh fuck, do that again." Obeying his orders you do it again. He uses his other hand to begin assisting you in bouncing up and down. Your movements begin to change pace, going faster.

His groans and your whimpers becoming louder. He dick twitching inside of you, indicating he's close. You ride faster and bounce harder. He in turn, quickens his movements on your clit and his fingers dig into your hips, leaving bruises for later.

"Oh shit, Phil.. I'm close."

"I know honey, I know hold on a lil longer." He pants. Your cries being the response. Your head thrown back, eyes screw shut.

"Hey, look at me. I wan't you to look at me when you cum." He demands. You immediately open your eyes and stare into his. His gaze possessive.

"Oh fuck, Phil." You whine.

"Let go baby, give it to me." That send you over the edge. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, the pleasure taking over and your body began to shake.

"Oh shit, oh shit." He says as he fills you up, head resting in the crook of your neck.

Coming down from your highs, he lifts his head and smiles at you.

"What?"

"You're so beautiful." He places a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Mhm, i'm still going." You stand up and start walking towards the bedroom.

"Ah! Come on honey, i'm the love of your life! You can't leave me!" He calls out, following you.

[webslingingslasher]

and peter never shuts up about trouble to may

she teases him for it all the time and when they finally make it official may tells trouble.

“i just knew you were the one for him, he always talks about you. that boy is head over heels”

trouble and frat peter are total endgame

AAAAAA WAIT WAIT PETER DROPPING THE BOMB W YOU IN HAND AND MAY FREAKS CAUSE SHE'S BEEN WAITING FOR IT SINCE HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT YOU.

---

may, never one to complain about another friendly face, was smiling hard at you.

'oh, hello! peter didn't say you were joining this weekend.'

she was extremely happy, it was the first weekend she's seen you after your split. she assumes her nephew made right like he said he would, it had been a quiet few weeks on peter's side.

'he wanted it to be a surprise, did it work?' may answers with giving you a tight hug, 'very. i missed you,' she lowers her voice, it doesn't do much. 'and he did too.'

'may.' peter doesn't like his secrets being told.

'oh, i know he did. he cried.' your hip was pinched, 'hey. no more.' he really doesn't like those secrets being told.

may gives another gentle squeeze before stepping back, she's about to give peter his own hug until you elbow him.

'sorry, i thought embarrassing you was in my job description now.'

'i'd prefer if it wasn't.' you loop your arm around him and lean a cheek on his shoulder. 'deal. can i still do it in private though?' immediate agreeance, 'absolutely.'

may sees nothing but pure love, she really hopes peter does it right this time around. peter places a kiss on your hairline before gently loosening his arm. 'i'm gonna set our stuff down, two seconds.'

it's more affection he's ever been open to sharing with may, she's caught kisses and soft touches before, but she can't place a time he's willingly done it in her eyesight. peter knows she'd tease him too much.

'i see things are going good?'

you feel shy, peter said he wanted it to be a surprise.

'very. i'm really, really happy. he um, he told me about everything.' may knows exactly what you're hinting at, not that her nephew filled her in on his plans. 'and everyone?'

you laugh lightly, 'yeah. i'm still trying to wrap my head around that, i have this weird new sense of worry now. i don't know how you do it.'

it's comforting she has someone to relate the anxiety to, it's a new feeling and it's something she never thought she'd be able to share.

'it gets easier, but it never goes away.'

'hey, hey, hey,' peter's voice becomes gradually louder when he picks up on the conversation. one look at you and you know what he's about to say, you can't even try to stop the smile.

'i just got her, let's not scare off my girlfriend, may.'

a sharp gasp, hands cover her mouth. 'shut up! you're lying!'

peter plays cool, 'i told you i was going to fix it.' you nod approvingly, 'he really did. he even... peter, you wanna show her or should i?'

'oh, i got it.' your boyfriend clears his throat, 'i love you.' loud and proud. it doesn't matter if he's said it a hundred times in the past month, it'll never get old. 'i love you, too.'

peter looks at may, 'you were right. there's nothing compared to that feeling.' your bottom lip pokes out, 'aw, petey!'

'i knew it! i knew you were the one and i knew he'd figure out a way to get you back and ah! i just knew it!' you were held tighter than before, a squeak has peter crossing the linoleum to your side.

may releases you to tug her nephew in for his own hug, she holds him tighter than you think you ever have. it's warm to know she wanted this just as much as you did.

'i'm proud of you,' it was quiet, not really meant for your ears. you'll pretend you didn't hear it. 'thanks, i am too.' since everyone's caught up and you have no reason to feel like a slight stranger, you hum around their bodies on a mission to the kitchen for the cookies you've been smelling since the second you walked in.

mumbling around a snickerdoodle, 'is this an okay time to tell you that i'd much prefer a batch of peanut butter cookies?' may turns to you with an amused look, you may have led on that peter's favorites were your own.

'what? i didn't want to feel like i was changing the routine. it's peter's fault, he knew and kept letting me lie.' peter clicks his tongue, 'oh, no, no, no. don't blame me, i told you i'd ask and you said i couldn't be trusted.'

'yeah, but,' you look at may for support. 'have you ever been at a friends house and ask for something and instead of your friend covering for you they're just like 'mom, may wants a popsicle!' and you feel like punching yourself in the head cause like, why would you do that to me?'

peter gasps, 'i would never! i would conceal a murder for you in ten seconds, you think i'd sell you out on some cookies?' may holds a hand to her chest, 'i would love to make you a batch of peanut butter cookies, or we could make them together and talk about peter.'

he shuts it down in a second. 'no, no talking of me. thank you.'

'well, since you're my boyfriend now i think i should finally be able to hear your embarrassing stories.'

'no, not allowed, trouble.'

'but i already love you!'

'and i'd prefer if we keep it that way.'

'i've loved you longer.'

you always have to one up him.

'fine. you get three, and nothing from middle school. we're not there yet.'

your teeth sink into a snickerdoodle, happiness you've never felt before hasn't faded in a month, if anything it's gotten brighter. you could really get used to this.

may can't remember the last time her apartment was filled with this much love.

[bon2bonn]

Weathering Your Storm

22!F1 grid X female!driver!reader

° Venture your silent sea

Part 2.2

Words count : 2.3k?(excluding the texts).

It's finally done!

Warnings : grammar,not edited, not proof read.

*it's long and packed , and I hope you enjoy reading it .

F1.grid masterlist

...............

Two weeks gone by and now she had her mind was made , she had her time to think and evaluate her career in new light away from the pressure of actually driving and having her view clouded with the rush of her hectic schedule with no time to breathe . So she took a step back , not complete letting go of hope but to process what she's doing and what to come .

She went off the grid but her dad as always found his way to her , not that she minded but she felt the weight of thinking that she failed him somehow , he didn't say anything after she told him what went on that weekend , expecting some sort of a grand reaction but he just looked at her and asked " are you okay?" She wasn't sure how to answer but she shrugged " I don't know yet" , he nods and went on with collecting firewood as they were doing before she stopped abortly to tell him not expecting this , it was like ripping a bandaid and I felt like one .

Hours later they both sat at the fire side by side in a content silence, she took a look at her father finding him lost in thoughts staring at the fire ahead and before she could stop herself she asked " are you disappointed?" He glanced at her hunched form , knees up to her chest and her hands around them , he saw that little girl trying to act tougher than her heart is . He asked back "about what?" She gave him a quick glance picking a dry branch to doodle on the dirt before her " disappointed in me" he scratched his growing stubble in thought " and why would I be?" She cleared her throat " you know, I basically got fired mid-season with no seat for next season or even a chance in the reserves " he gave her a knowing look asking bluntly " and why would that make you think I'm disappointed in you?" She rubbed her forehead " cause I feel like I failed " he gave her a long look , gathering his thoughts and turning in his foldable camping chair " I already told you , and I'll keep on doing so until you accept it. You are never going to disappoint me, I'm beyond proud of what you've done and what you'll ever do because I know how hard you worked to reach where you are now , and with a seat or non I'm still proud of you . Yeah I'm saddened that you won't be out there driving to your heart content for now but it's not your last race" she cuts him " but you don't know that, so far no team reached out and they know how chaotic it'll be to give me a seat , they won't take the chance , not after this" giving her a shrug he kept going " I just know , the same way I knew you're destined for great things when you drove your first race , hard headed and determined, holding your head high and beating all those taller boys with their mean dads" they both chuckled at the memory, as he added " it's will take time " she lowered her head " but what if I never get any seat ? , what if I got a seat and it turned up worse than last year ? , what if I stopped racing?" He sighed heavily before answering " for the worst and the best cases I'll be there for you , and if you wanted to quit I'll still support you and still be as much proud of you , it's your journey to fulfill it the way you see fit and no matter what remember it's yours so don't let anyone or their words or decisions makes you forget that . You hear me ?" She nodded in understanding giving him a determined smile as he ruffled her hair up laughing as she groaned in annoyance smacking his hand away before pulling on her cap and tying her hood up covering her head and pulling the strings to secure it around her face .

Both basked in silence watching the wooden logs crack in the fire but got startled as his phone pinged with a new message

(from Max's pov 🤭):

He chuckled quietly cause her to raise an eyebrow in suspicion " What got you laughing?" He shook his head turning off his phone before leaning towards the fire his elbows on his knees and he turned his face to her in a serious manner " have you thought about what I proposed?" She nods with a groan " I did and I might take your offer " he gave her a knowing smile " it's only till you get a seat and it might be sooner than you think , but you'll have fun and still travel whenever you want aaaaaaaaand" she tilted her head in question earning a huff from him before he explained " you'll get to be your own boss !" She gave him a side eyes " if it's soo great , why are you dumping it on me? " He leaned back and crossed his hands behind his head sighing dramatically " I want to live my life too, I'm still young , I'm going out to date again , find me a ...." She cuts him with a disgusted face " DAD! Ew no ! I don't want to know about you romantic life , last time was traumatic enough!" He laughed at her face throwing a punch of dry leaves at her " oh ! Grow up, be grateful I'm not snooping into your nonexistent love life!" She gasped in offence " Wow! Just wow! My own dad is bullying me!" She stood up dramatically ", you know what!? I quit! Find you a new person to run your business" he held his hand to his chest as he kept on laughing " I didn't even hire you yet!" She only groaned louder sitting back down and chucking a wrap paper at him as he kept laughing, joining him eventually as the both spent their night with her relieved that a weight is off her shoulder.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Two days later

Settling back home in Monaco after your trip turned you back to the stressing atmosphere, as days gone by and it now settled in that you've got no seat for the rest of the season, let alone next season or the one after . Getting back home was both the best and worst thing to do right now . Still got piled stacks of paperwork to do , piled forms to sign and things to move , but staying in your bed looked more appealing than doing anything else so that's what you choose for now .

The news is yet to spread , but it's only a matter of time before it gets leaked , your face blastered on every sports site and every gossip magazine , you can already see the headlines . the slander and rumours of why would a team like Mercedes suddenly drop their driver mid-season ? Speculations and allegations of every absurd theory under the sun would make appearance , But that's for future you to worry about, now you just want to sleep in and let shit happen .

Glancing at your phone on the bedside table , having it turned off for the past two day after ignoring calls and emails asking about your whereabouts . It'd only take sometime before someone figured out where you dipped to or Danny might fall under pressure and snitch on you and come barging in dragging you out of your so called hibernation . You made a note to come up with a way to tell the guys later . telling them rather than them finding out from media or worse George himself , so you gotta make the most of the quite atmosphere as possible.

But That didn't last long , half hour later and someone's already bounding on your door , opting to ignore it as whoever is knocking is bound to get tired or think noone is here and leave . But that didn't happen , 10 minutes and they won't leave , you huffed removing the pillow off your head and getting up shoving the covers aside sliding out and blindly heading to see who's trying to break your front door down , throwing on the first thing you found on your way out , one of Danny's old hoodies you've stole and claimed as yours , covering your messy hair with the hood and trying to wipe the sleep out of you eyes , Praying silently to every higher power there is to not be one of the guys .

Groaning quietly as whoever is knocking covered the Peep hole ,so after contemplating for a second before swinging the door open startled by who stood before you , he smiled at your stunned face " you're a very hard person to reach Y/N " you kept looking at him in confusion before snapping out as he asked" would you mind if I came in? " .

•••••••••••••

~~~~~~

The guys showed up as promised all concerned about you but as well relieved to finally see you before them , easing their minds for moments as they anticipated your words .

They settled in around after dinner , no one was joking around as usual or starting a conversation, all waiting for you somberly to say what's in your chest as they waited patiently , Daniel gave you a reassuring smile squeezing your shoulders as he sat on the single chair by the window along with the rest , all except lando who kept shaking his leg up and down nervously so you decided to put him out of his misery as you stood before them " I just wanted to wait to tell you face to face instead of you finding out from the media or someone else, well , I basically no longer have a seat " they looked at you in silence still not processing what you've just said, so you elaborated " I'm no longer part of the grid formation" the first to respond was Max who shook his head in denial " No" you sighed at his response , next to him was lando looked at you in guilt not finding the courage to say anything in fear it'll make the situation worse so he opted to keep his mouth shut , Carlos was spacing out so you opted to let him process it more before snapping him out , Charles looked very confused as he asked " why? " , you shrugged at him sitting down as you spoke again " I honestly don't know, they wanted me out and here I am " Carlos snapped at this " what about your contract?" . You shook your head " already terminated " they all looked bewildered , various " what!?" Sounded around the room " they already signed another driver for the second half of the season " Charles whispered " you're not even finishing the season?" You shook your head in answer .

Max stood up hands balled up and shoulders tense " who signed?" You refused to answer so he looked at Danny who sat back not having the same shocked reaction like the rest of them " you knew , so tell me who they signed for that fucking seat?" He looked at you before turning to him in defeat " It's not my place to tell " max scoffed at him before turning to you again " why ?" You glared at him " cause I know you won't hesitate to go up and fight him over it , I won't let you do something that stupid " he challenged you " well whoever that bastard is he deserves what's coming for him" you pinched between your eyebrows " No Max, he doesn't" he tilted his head asking " so you just give up to him , you've worked your ass for them and now they just swiped you aside and signed someone else!" Charles stood trying to calm him " Max, hey , calm down for a minute " he ignored him , still irritated so you know he needs to get it out so you let him " I'm not calming down! Why should I ?" Carlos spoke up next " cause you are not the only one who's upset about it " Danny agreed " we all are beyond pissed believe me" you added next " but you have to remember 'never take anything personally in this sport' , yeah i lost my seat so what !? It's not like It's the end of the world " and before he could argue you stopped him " here's the thing all of you can be pissed as much as you want here in this room you can scream and yell as much as like to get it off your chest , but the moment you step out it stays here , cause out there it won't affect you as it'll me , I'm already out so what can they do more ? , But you're not, you still got your season to finish, so you have to promise you won't do anything out there because I won't be there to smack any sense back into you brains " .

He stared back at you folding his arms challenging you " I won't promise you anything until I know who is he " you glared back not fazed " I won't tell if you won't promise " you both started each other down before Carlos groaned smacking you both to cut it out " fine I promise!" You gave him a deadpanned look " George" Charles asked with wide eyes " Russell!?" Daniel nods " the one and only" Carlos turned to Max who got eerily quite compared to earlier " Max ?" He just nods curtly before sitting down not uttering a word for the rest of the night .you clapped after a beat of heavy silence " so! , who's up for desert?" .

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Same as it ever was 6

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as neglect, bullying, manipulation, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Between your home life and work, you just can’t catch a break. Especially after you draw the ire of your boss.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen ft. Pete Brenner

Note: have a happy friday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Sunday gives you an excuse to get away. Pete, like a dog with his tail between his legs, doesn't even try to come up with an excuse to 'work'. You take Simone with you to the grocery store, warning the slug that he can handle Malik for a couple hours alone. You notice the pout in his lips but don't acknowledge it.

You don't need much but you take your time. You agree to buy Simone an Archie comic, shrugging off the extra few dollars as you notice her growing restless. You made her leave her book at home. You're happy she loves to read but she can't ignore the world all the time.

"You wanna get lunch?" You ask as you push the cart through the lot.

"Mm, I dunno," she drags her feet, "I'm tired."

"Probably 'cause you need to eat," you judge her with your elbow, "come on, how often is it just the two of us."

She grumbles but you ignore her reluctance. You're in no hurry to get home and you can scrounge enough for a sit down in the diner. It might be the last nice thing you can afford.

You load up the bags on the trunk and drive down the block to the same place you would take Simon when you were still pregnant with Malik. Those days were nice and so far behind you. The memory makes your heart ache.

You open the door ahead of Simone and follow her into the mom and pop shop. You're seated by the window in a booth. You order coffee as your daughter gets an apple juice. You peruse the menu but you're not very hungry.

"Oh, they still have the grilled cheese," you say.

"Yeah…" she continues to read the menu, nonplussed by your suggestion.

You tap your toe and cup your chin as you look out the window. It's a nice day even if you're gloomy inside. You turn back to the table and flip over the menu. 

The waitress returns with your drinks. You sip your coffee before you order a mac and cheese and Simone gets chicken fingers. You hand the menus over and smile at your daughter. She's old enough, she'll catch on soon.

"So, what's your latest adventure about?" You ask.

"Uh, well, I just read one about a knight. She's a girl and she goes off to fight an army of trolls…"

You immerse yourself in her retelling of the children's novel. You don't care, it's better than reality. You giggle and smile as she becomes more animated. She can be so monotone but her passion makes you proud.

A figure approaches, breaking your trance, and you look over expecting the waitress. To your chagrin, it's not.

You grip the edge of the table as Simone's voice peters out and she looks at the man with her cool deadpan. You clear your throat, fighting the urge to reach across and shield her. Mr. Hansen smirks down at you as he glances between you and your daughter.

"Funny running into you here," he snickers, "enjoying your weekend."

"Just having lunch," you say crisply, "hope you're having a good Sunday."

You turn straight on the bench and look at Simone as you gesture for her to face you. She frowns as you try to come up with an escape plan. You don't even know what to say and he's not going anywhere.

"Oh I'm having a wonderful weekend. Look at you, how cute, this must be the spawn."

"Spawn?" Simone murmurs, "hey, what's your deal, guy?"

"Sim," you wave her off, "that's good to hear Mr. Hansen. I hate to keep you so–"

"Room for one more?" He winks.

"Ew, no," Simone speaks before you can, "mom, tell him to go away."

"She's mouthy. Not hard to guess why," he scoffs.

You slide off the seat and stand, stepping between him and the table. You arch a brow, pleading with your hands out.

"Please, sir, we're just enjoying a meal out. I'll see you tomorrow. At work."

He watches you, his amusement playing on his face. He's enjoying seeing you squirm, just like before. He always knows the most sensitive spot to hit. Your kids would be top of the list.

"Tomorrow," he winks as he leans back on his heel, "we got a special meeting, don't we?"

"Sir," you hiss.

He chuckles and rolls his eyes, "alright, ladies, enjoy your lunch."

He backs up and struts away. You don't sit until he's out the door. What on earth is he even doing in a place like this? It's not exactly a Michelin star experience.

You settle back in and swallow, turning to watch out the window. He isn't in his usual suit but still dressed nicely. A peach polo peeking out under a teal bomber jacket and canary pants. Tacky if you say so yourself.

"Who was that weirdo?" Simone asks.

"My boss," you lean back, "just saying hi."

"He's strange. Like the villain in the book I was reading," she scowls out the window, "you need a new job."

You laugh despite yourself, "you have no idea. First things first, I'm starving."

🗄️

You get home, exhausted. You put away the groceries and tidy up. Of course Pete couldn't clean up after making a mess of the kitchen for a simple PB and J. You sigh as you finish and look in on the kids in the living room.

Malik colours as Simone creases her brow at her book. You hear Pete outside working on his Corvette. For a brand new car, it sure needs a lot of maintenance.

You tell the kids you'll be upstairs if they need anything. You go to the bedroom and open the closet. You're so anxious about tomorrow, you may as well get ready to face the music.

You pick out an outfit. Nothing special. You don't have anything fashionable. It's not like you need more than a striped blouse and worn black pants. You just don't want to come back up there to grab it all in the morning.

As you come downstairs, you hear Malik giggling. You peek in through the doorway with your armful of clothing. Pete sits on the floor at the coffee table beside the boy and scribbles with a crayon. He meets your eye as you pass and gives a sheepish smile. You shake your head and keep going.

You open the door to the basement and the cool air sweeps around your descent. You put the outfit on the folding table beside the camping cot. Your first few nights have been less than comfortable. As cozy as your own marriage.

You check the dryer and take out the towels, folding them on the top and stacking them there. You hear footsteps on the stairs. You keep your back to the airy space.

"Hey," Pete says. You're not surprised. He keeps trying to corner you. "So…"

"Busy," you grab a basket and set the towels in it.

"Hm," he stops only a few feet from you, "Simone said you ran into someone. Your boss."

"Yup. Nice guy," you utter dryly.

"I thought Mandy was your boss."

You roll your eyes as you lift the basket and turn, "one of many. She's up in York now."

"Ah…" he hangs his head, gripping one hip, "a lot's changed."

"I'm not in the mood to talk so let's not do this."

He huffs and steps into your path. He puts a hand on the basket. He looks you in the face.

"I will be home every day at six–"

"Too late."

"Please, can't I just try? Can't you?"

"Me? I tried, Pete," you snap, "come home at six anyway. The kids will be happy."

"What about you?"

You stare at him grimly. Your eyes tingle and you look away. Your chest rises and falls.

"I haven't been happy in a long time. Don't think I will be again," you shrug and pull the basket away, striding past him, "I didn't make you happy either, did I?"

He huffs and trails after you as you cross to the stairs. As you go to make your ascent and he grabs your arm and spins you back to him. Before you can react, he snatches the basket from your grip and places it on the stack of rubbermaid bins by the wall.

He puts his hands on your arms and pulls you against him. He leans in and you turn your head, his lips crashing into your cheek. You shove on his chest and growl.

"What are you doing?" You pinch by his ribs.

"Baby, please, let me make it up to you–"

"Don't touch me," you push on him, "get off."

"I love you. I mean it–"

"Stop!" You hit his chest again but he doesn't budge, instead wrapping his arms around you, squeezing the breath out of you. How is he still so strong when you only ever got weaker? "Pete…"

"You can't walk away–"

"You already did," you keep your voice down, mindful of the open door above.

"Let me try. I wanna make love to you–"

"Pfft, yeah right. Go get tested and I might even consider letting you hold my hand," you snarl, "get off of me now."

"Wha– I'm clean–"

"Get!" You bring your knee up and feel it collide with his crotch. He releases you and staggers back, cupping his most precious possession. "You're a dirty fucking weasel."

You turn and pick up the basket and stomp up the stairs as you hear him whimpering. Serves him right. You can't help but smile at the ounce of power you feel in that moment. 

🗄️

Monday morning both too quickly but not fast enough. You get up with the kids and get them ready for school, filling a thermos of coffee for yourself. You drive them to school and send them off with dread in your chest.

For a moment, you idle outside the school. You miss the days when you only worried about spelling quizzes and dodgeball. You hope at least your kids never end up where you are.

You follow the crawl of traffic out of the school zone and reluctantly steer towards work. You yawn and drain half your thermos before you get to the office. As you shoulder your bag and look up at the corporate facade, you feel the world threaten to crumble around you. No, not the whole world, just yours.

You enter behind a few others and try to find your courage in the elevator. You peek over at your coworkers; you recognise two but the other you don't know. There's not much workplace camaraderie, more of an understanding to get your work down and clock out.

You follow them out and go to your desk. You sit and pop the lid off of your thermos. Just enough to get you through this. You don't unpack your lunch, certain you won't be eating it there.

You turn on your PC and sign in. You're in no hurry to get started on work. Your calendar pops up with the internal schedule reminder. There it is, a meeting in ten minutes. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You get up and go to the bathroom. You can do this. You dealt with your scoundrel husband, you are still moving, you're not dead in the water.

But how do you survive this? Do you beg? You quit and take the loss? No you can't. You need this job and if you get fired, at least you'll have a hope at severance. 

You avoid your reflection. That old woman isn't you. You go out and check your watch, pausing as the shine of your rings gleam in the fluorescent light. You slide them off and put them in your back pocket. 

You check the schedule one last time and go to tbe meeting room. There's no one there as you find the door shut. It's clearly empty on the other side of the windowed walls. You lean against the plaster and tap your sole.

"Ah, there she is. How's it goin', toots? You need some chamomile? The chairs sure are comfy, aren't they?" Mr. Hansen struts down with his hands in his pockets.

"Sir," you greet flatly. He's mocking you. Jokes on him, you're always tired. 

"Come on," he twists the handle and swings the door open so that it bounces on the hinges, "get moving."

You don't react to his crass tone. You merely step into the room as the light flicks on as the censor picks up your movement. You walk along one side of the table as Hansen shuts the door.

You hover behind a chair as he goes along the wall and tugs each cord to repel the blinds down, blocking out the hallway. Uneasiness bubbles in your stomach as you watch him. You expected him to make your humiliation public.

"Have a seat, honey buns," he faces you, approaching the other side of the table.

You sit and fold your hands on the table top. He has no paperwork, not even a computer. You wonder what exactly is going on. 

"Is someone from HR–"

"Look, let's keep the sticklers outta this," he waves you off, kick one foot out as he shifts his weight to one hip, "unless you really want a disciplinary slip. Me, personally, I can't be fucked with that paperwork."

You frown and flatten your hands on the table, trying to keep your anxiety from showing. He looks at the gesture and tilts his head. His cheek dimples and he snorts.

He doesn't comment. Not at first. He paces up and down the table and bites his thumb. 

"Alright, let's get to business," he stops at the end, close to the corner, "what are you willing to do to keep this job?"

"Sir?"

"Pretty daughter you got. Probably eats up that paycheck in no time. All those cute shirts and ugh, the growth spurts–"

"Mr. Hansen," you swallow, "please, I don't think my family has anything to do with this."

"They have everything to do with this," he insists, "let's not pretend."

"I'm not– I'm sorry I fell asleep. It won't happen again."

"I gave you an out. All you had to do was put your hands down my pants and you could've napped in the boardroom. No problem. I do it all the time," he snickers, "but no, you're a stubborn little bitch. Makes me wonder what the old man sees in ya. Really, cause a tight ass ain't fun unless you get inside–"

"Mr. Hansen," you exclaim, revolted by his lewd words.

"Whatever he's doing, he's not doing it right. You need to loosen up, toots," he runs his thumb across his mustache, "and that little girl won't be so proud of mommy if she ends up working at Burger King like some stoner teenager–"

You sputter, heat creeping up the nape of your neck and speckling down your body. You shake your head. Did he know or is it a lucky guess? Either way, you don't have the energy for this. You're done being a joke for men.

"Just spit it out. What do I have to do?" You sneer as your hands ball.

His lips slant and he smothers a noise in his throat. He slowly walks closet until he's right beside you. You turn the chair to face him as he leans down and puts his hand on yours. He unfolds your fingers and feels along the indents left by your rings.

"Looks like trouble in paradise," he winks, "well, I'm the good kinda trouble. Trust me."

You stare at him. You're not as naive as you once were. There's no denial here. This is real life, a bitter pill you need to swallow.

"That's it? A hand job and I keep my job?" You squint.

He laughs and cups your chin, "oh, you think that's it?"

You can't help but let your surprise bleed through. Your not some young hot thing. Is he just trying to rub salt in the wound or is he serious?

"I…"

"Hand, mouth, cunt, ass, tits," he pulls away as he lists of each word, "you look in tact for the most part. But most importantly…" he shoots you with a finger gun, "you're desperate. What more could I ask for?"

[tonberry-yoda]

Take a Break - Asra

notes - IM BACK FROM THE DEAD AND WITH A FIC?!?!?! Hi guys! <3 I've been in a bit of a block feeling like my writing is meh, but I wanted to pump this out to get out of said block. I'm finally on a short break for school, but I'll be working then, but now, I had time to write and wanted to give you all something, even if it's short and sweet. I also wanted to thank you all for the support even as I've been on my hiatus. I nearly have 200 followers, and I just can't thank everyone enough for being so loving! Sorry this note was kinda long, but I really want you all to know how much I love you <3 word count - 941

“Hi Asra.” You smile, giving the boy goo-goo eyes as he walks into the shop that the two of you owned.

“Hello, y/n.” he says, not once looking at you. He was too busy looking down at a list of some sort to notice you staring at him while you stood behind the counter.

“Busy?” you asked.

“Mhm.” was all he let out before walking up to his office.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. Another busy day that clouded both you and Asra. You were used to it by now, but a break sounded nice every once in a while. So instead of that break, you played with a bottle full of tea leaves that you were proud to say you made yourself. You didn't hate your job, if anything, you loved it more than any job you’ve had before. The problem was Asra. He looked constantly stressed and beyond tired. You hated that he was starting to look like he was the one who hated his job. He had so much passion years ago, but now he just looked swamped.

“Good evening, y/n!” you heard a familiar voice say as the bell rang above the door. Your ears perked up and a smile spread across your face as you saw one of your regular customers walk in.

“Evening, Mr. Bennet! How are you?” You set down the little bottle and walked over to the man, shaking his hand.

“Fine, fine,” he said. “Busy as always. You?” He hung his coat on a rack next to the door and started browsing.

“I'm all right,” you admitted. “Bout to close up shop, so that’s nice.”

“I won't be too long.” He looked at some of the tea you had made, carefully reading the instructions. “Where’s Asra, if you don't mind me asking?”

“Oh, he's upstairs. Probably working as always.” You rested your cheek on your hand.

“Go figure. Poor man needs to catch a break.”

“Tell me about it.” you chuckled.

“Well, when you see him again,” Mr. Bennet said, walking to the counter with a box of tea leaves. “Tell him that he has to get that break, for me, of course.”

You laughed and took the money from the man, locking the door behind him as he left.

“Was that Mr. Bennet?” you heard Asra ask, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

“Yeah,” you said nonchalantly as you began to clean up for the night. “He just got some tea, that’s all.”

“Dammit,” Asra groaned, leaning against the wall. “I had to ask him something.”

“You know he’ll be back. He’s in here all the time. Plus, he told me to tell you to take a damn break.”

Asra ran his fingers through his white hair while his other hand clutched some tarot cards. “You know I can't do that.” he sighed.

“Whatever you say.” You finished sweeping up the rest of the shop and walked past Asra.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“To my room. To take a break.” So, you did. You walked straight to your room and laid on your bed. It was soft, as always, and all of your stuffed animals gave you soft smiles.

Through your window, you could see the moon peeking over some mountains behind the town and a smile spread across your face. You quickly jumped out of bed to open your window to bring in some cool night air. It smelled fresh. You saw crows fly overhead and could see the lights from the rest of the village turning on as the night market began overflowing with people. You’ve been needing this relaxation for weeks, and finally, it was a weekend where you had time for it.

At your door, you heard Asra clear his throat. When you turned around, he had Faust wrapped around his bicep and the tarot cards were still in his hand.

“Need something?” you asked.

“Not really.” he said quietly.

“You look tired.” Your voice was softer than his.

Asra chuckled. “I am tired.”

“Then take a break. Please.”

Faust slid her way off of Asra’s arm and slid over to you. You picked her up and she wrapped herself around your wrist. “Break!” she said to Asra.

“There’s so much to do before the weekend is over though.” Asra sighed and leaned against the frame of your door.

“Like what?” you asked.

He thought for a minute. You assumed that he was going to try to make some excuse to keep himself busy. There were probably things he had to do over the weekend, but you also knew that Asra was the kind of guy who always felt the need to be productive.

You walked over to him and put your hand on his shoulder. “Asra, I'm serious, you need a break. Those eyebags don't look good on you.” You ran your thumb underneath his eye over the dark spots there.

He softened to your touch, leaning his cheek on your warm hand. “What if everything falls apart because of me?” he asked.

“I think you’re just making excuses.” you giggled.

He took your hand in his own and smiled softly at you. Faust, you noticed, had disappeared, but you didn't mind, especially when you just saw her curling up in a little cage you had made for her.

“Do you want some hot cocoa?” you asked Asra as he took a seat on your bed.

“That would be wonderful, y/n, thank you.”

You pressed a kiss to his forehead and pushed him so that he was laying down. “I'll be right back.” You winked.

~~~~~

the arcana masterlist | pinned post | ko-fi

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[eloise-t-g]

long post ahead. i wanted to respond to some of the things i've seen people saying about the watcher situation. i honestly just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest lmao.

"sorry, the bridge has been burnt and i can no longer support watcher" - valid.

"i'm happy with this compromise and will continue to watch their content" - valid.

"oh so they apologise, change nothing, and now people are happy to give them money?" - things have changed. they compromised and completely changed their plan for the new website. did you not watch the update video? they're also issuing refunds to anyone who wants one.

"i bet people who over-reacted feel real stupid now!" - some people over-reacted, but a lot of people had valid criticisms and concerns. they shouldn't feel stupid if they expressed it in a non-abusive way.

"yay, we successfully bullied them into changing their minds!" - you're ... you're proud that you bullied someone? this isn't fucking elon musk or jeff bezos. these guys aren't multibillionaires exploiting their employees. these are three youtubers who want to pay themselves and their employees a living wage, while making content they're proud of, and they made a simple fucking mistake. stop throwing around the term 'eat the rich' as though it applies here.

"the apology video is clearly PR!" - yes, watcher is a business. this is how a business responds to situations like this. they had abuse hurled at them for 48 hours straight, they shouldn't feel bad for wanting to make sure everything said in the video was 100% agreed upon and analysed beforehand.

"steven was clearly the one behind this, he should be fired or step down!" - was he? do you know that for a fact? cause from what i saw, all three of them got in front of the camera and made the announcement video together. i agree that he should step down as CEO, but only because they clearly need someone who has actual business experience leading them (if you remember, ryan and shane stepped down a while ago because they didn't want to deal with that side of the company anymore - in the same video, they thanked steven for being the sole reason watcher was still going).

"they shouldn't have been silent the whole weekend" - maybe so, but it's clear they went into lockdown/crisis mode. also, businesses aren't open on weekends. i think it's fair that they waited until monday and took their time with it. maybe they should have tweeted something like "we're sorry and we're working on an explanation", but that just would have given people another place to attack them.

"you're all being parasocial" - i've seen this used against both people who are supporting/giving the team the benefit of the doubt, and people who are against everything. a lot of people (myself included) have used this experience to realise they were developing/had developed a parasocial relationship with these men. this is a good thing - it allows us to recognise these things and make changes within ourselves.

i think generally people are more parasocial towards youtubers than celebrities in films and tv shows. YT feels like there is a barrier removed between the creators and us; it makes us feel like we know these people in a way that we don't know actors who are always playing different roles. YT makes it easier to believe we're seeing the real people, when we really don't know them at all.

"why should i pay someone who owns a tesla?" - you don't have to. also, steven has been working consistently for years. it doesn't surprise me that he has enough savings for an expensive car. people are allowed to own things that you and i can't afford.

"they're embarrassed to be youtubers" - might be true, who knows. but for me it feels more like they want to be taken seriously as filmmakers/television producers, and don't feel like they can do that on YT.

"there's clearly money mismanagement going on" - i think this is likely. i personally don't know what it's like to run a business like this, which is why i've been watching videos from other youtubers who do. since they're saying they don't know where the funds are going, i'm inclined to believe watcher's budget is way off what it should be.

"why didn't they initially say they were having money troubles and might close doors?" - i can see both sides of this. i believe they should have recognised that their audience would have been more receptive to this kind of honesty. however, if you're asking people to give you money, while also saying the venture might not work out, it doesn't engender a great deal of trust. why should i pay for a 12 month sub if it's possible watcher will fold in 6? who will be around to issue me a refund then?

"we were happy with blue and yellow text on a screen!" - valid, but it's clear that they weren't. they clearly want to push themselves further creatively. on the other hand, it definitely feels like they got impatient and wanted that future creation to start now, when they don't have the funds for it. they shouldn't have tried to force their loyal audience to pay for content the audience didn't ask for.

"i don't want to fund steven, andrew, and adam flying around the world eating expensive food." - very valid. i wonder how different things would have been if this 'Worth It' revival had come around 6 months earlier. it still would have been tone deaf in a global living crisis, but i don't think people would have been this upset. what i don't understand is them doing this show if they genuinely couldn't afford it, which is the implication i got from them announcing it just before announcing the paywall.

"why don't they move their office out of LA?" - that would be incredibly expensive, especially for a company that is struggling financially. they would have to uproot their entire lives, and would probably lose a great number of their staff who don't want to/can't move. they would have to completely start over, which is something i imagine they're desperately trying to avoid.

i think the cancel culture that has grown in popularity over the internet over the last few years has led people to believe that:

they can say whatever they want online with no consequences.

people aren't allowed to make a single mistake, and should understand that when they do, it's okay to for others to spew hate and awfulness towards them.

part of me doesn't even know why i made this post, i think i just got sick of seeing the same complaints and questions lmao.

[mrhaitch]

Good morning Mr.Haitch (I’m assuming it’s morning)

How was your weekend? Mine flew by, and I’m still feeling burnt out from the all-nighters I pulled to finish all my assignments.

Onwards to the questions

1) would you rather eat the same thing for the rest of your life (but it’s something you hate) or dress up in the same outfit for the rest of your life (but it’s a fashion atrocity that you committed during your teens)

2) what is your least favorite thing about being an academic?

3) can you draw/ sketch?

4) I don’t know how I never asked this before but do you also have tattoos? And if you don’t, do you see yourself getting one in the future?

5) Have your kids ever said/ done something, that amazed you to some degree?

6) what’s the worst shenanigans your kids have gotten up to?

Sorry for bombarding you with questions so early in the day.

(Also if that academic-anon is reading this, I wanted to say I see you and I feel you. Believe me, performing exceptionally in your exams doesn’t equate to happiness, and this is coming from someone who has gotten straight As all her life. Burn out, depression, constant sense of anxiety doesn’t simply go away if you scored better. Agreed, that you would feel a momentary sense of accomplishment, but like I said, it would be temporary.

I understand your need to perform better than your siblings, to be recognized as someone who has achieved something. Those are things that would help you respect yourself. Do you respect yourself? Because other’s opinion doesn’t matter until you respect the efforts you put into your work. So what if you’re not performing how you want right now, atleast acknowledge the hard work that went into it. Pat yourself on the back for these little victories. You woke up, you faced another day, and one day when you look back, you would surely be proud that you persisted.

You did good. You tried. And that’s what matters 🫂)

It is morning. The weekend was busy as usual, but we spent some time with Haitch's family which was nice.

1) Well my most embarrassing teenage outfit was oversized t-shirts, combat camo cargo trousers, and trainers that were falling apart - which was awful, but very comfortable. It'd have to be that one.

2) It would have to be the insane workload and level of expectation from managers. Teaching, research, pastoral care, administration, supporting with open days, applicant days, working shifts on the clearing phone lines, graduation, exam invigilating, assessing, public appearances, conferences, social media, dealing with the press. It's an endless horror show where, in the UK, you could STILL do all that and still be made redundant so the university can renovate their sports hall.

3) Hah. No.

4) I do not. I've got some ideas, which Haitch and I have talked over. I'd like to memorialise my PhD with a plague doctor tattoo somewhere (PhD during COVID = plague doctor, no one can take that title away from me).

5) I remember our oldest saying sarcophagus without any hesitation or errors once. To be honest, though, when your kids learn to speak it's an endless series of amazing and surprising moments - especially when their personality begins to coalesce.

6) A couple of years ago we went to Disneyland Paris for my 30th birthday. Big family thing - my parents and youngest brother came along. We'd gone somewhere for lunch and our eldest was kicking off, just bored and overstimulated, so I took him for a walk around the corner. We passed a staff member who smiled and waved, I smiled and waved back, but then I saw her face pivot to shock, and then she covered her mouth to suppress a laugh. When I looked around at my son, I discovered he was flipping her off from behind my back. I picked him up under my arm, mumbled a barely comprehensible apology in french, and took him away for a bollocking.

I'd also like to add that I agree with everything you've said for academic-anon, couldn't have said it better myself. I'm not very emotionally articulate first thing in the morning.

[aidenlyons]

When the day came for Jake to head to Chestnut Ridge, he was in awe when Colby brought him to the house.

J: This is it?

C: Mhm. Sure is. I've kept it up best I can, made sure the roof stayed good, that sort of thing. But some of the appliances sure need updating.

J: Looks like it needs some landscaping too.

C: Yeah, it does a bit. That's not really my forte, and I've been pretty busy with the farm this spring.

J: Oh, it's not a criticism, sorry. Just.. trying to take it all in.

C: No worries. I understand. Want to go inside?

J: .. yeah.

C: It's not a fancy house. But has everything a small family would need. There's a half bath through that door, livingroom to the left, kitchen and rest of the house to the right. Three bedrooms.

J: That's a lot more than it looks like from the outside.. That's not so bad.

Jake turns toward the livingroom first, letting out a low whistle.

J: This is incredible. I bet Aiden would love this, especially at night.

C: It's amazing what you can see here at night. The stars. Imagine it's the same in Copperdale.

J: Not so much where I lived. Too much light pollution from the pier.

C: Not much of that out here.

Jake turns and catches sight of the barn, smiling for a moment.

J: That barn is part of it, too?

C: Mhm. Think it used to be a greenhouse. Big enough for a horse, couple animals.

Jake can't help but think how perfect that 'greenhouse' space would be for a studio for Aiden. Lots of light and beautiful views.

J: Not so sure about the animals, but.. good to have options.

C: You ever need help with that, I know some people.

Returning, Jake crosses the hallway into the kitchen and goes to test out the sink. The water runs clear and cool.

C: There's a natural spring nearby that the water comes from. Shouldn't ever have to worry about running out.

J: Big enough for a table in here, too.

C: Might need a ladder to get to the cabinets, but still plenty'a storage.

J: No kidding. I see what you mean about the appliances too. Do you know anything about the neighbors?

C: Mm. Few families with young children. Good people.

The first bedroom Colby guides them into makes Jake's breath hitch.

J: This.. was going to be my room, wasn't it?

C: Figure so. Never saw the place 'til your father was already dead.

J: Mom always said he was.. really proud.

C: Sure was. Showed off pictures every chance he got.

C: It's hard, doing what we did, bein' away from family. Ed was eager to get you and your mom closer. Spend more time with you.

J: Yeah.

Jake has to clear his throat to continue.

J: I'm not sure how much I believed it, before.

J: I don't remember him. Just what Mom told me. I never knew if she was exaggerating or telling the truth.

C: I only worked with Ed a couple'a years, but I know he loved both'a you more'n anything. That's the solid truth.

J: Thank you. I, uh. Could I look around, alone?

C: Sure.

The second bedroom is decent but not obscene, Jake thinks. The whole place could use a coat of paint. Some updates to appliances and maybe counters if Aiden wanted.

Abruptly Jake realizes how seriously he's thinking of living here.

The master bath is a bit ridiculous. But Aiden did say he most wanted a bath tub. Jake badly wants to bring Aiden here and get his opinion because if he's honest Jake.. loves it.

Jake can see them living here, having a family here maybe. It feels like home.

After a few minutes alone, Colby follows Jake outside to the paddock.

J: Thank you. For doing maintenance on this place. It's.. It means a lot.

C: Least I could do.

J: I think I want to bring Aiden back, maybe next weekend?

C: It's not my place, you don't need my permission. Key's yours. But if you want me to swing by, should be able to.

J: Right. Sorry. It just.. it's a lot.

C: Yeah. Figured it might be.

J: Do you think we could talk.. about my dad?

C: Lets sit down in the shade. Gets a bit warm.

C: The thing you gotta know about your dad was...

As they sit near the barn/greenhouse, Colby starts talking, telling Jake all he can about the time he served with Ed, wishing he knew more. Still, it takes hours. It's good for Colby to think about the good times.

[russellsppttemplates]

We're in this together, mon amour (Pierre Gasly)

There are times harder than others, but Pierre is making sure he's always there for his wife

Note: english is not my first language. this is my long piece in ehat feels like a lifetime, I hope I can still do it well enough, and, like usual, I like to say this to make it clear: this request is special because this is a topic that I feel huge responsibility writing about and I feel grateful that I'm trusted enough to have it be requested (and you don't need to feel anxious or scared to submit things like this, this is not a learning platform necessarily, nor I am a teacher, but I'm more than happy to write about these things and materialise some ideas you have). As I've said before, I hate the whole idea of labelling, but I also know and understand how important it is to see some of you and your characteristics portrayed in a character.

I'm very happy and proud of you for making progress about it too ✨️🤍

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated, and I'm slowly trying to get back to taking requests, and I am writing some blurbs when I can, so if you have any ideas or concepts that can be written in a small amount of sentences and you want to share, feel free to do so!

Tw: mentions mental health issues (anxiety symptoms, self-doubt), going to therapy, family issues

You arrived home after another day at work, hoping that you could put this week behind you and go into the weekend to relax. You could count on one hand the moments this week where you didn't feel completely on edge. Work was going through a busy time and despite being very happy that the company was growing and your work was being valued, it did pile up with everything else. And could you really complain about your home life? You had a supportive husband, way more supportive than you feel like you deserve and with everything else happening, it just created all these thoughts that would not leave your mind, no matter how much you tried and insisted they would leave.

Maybe a shower would help, you thought, going upstairs to the ensuite and grabbing your favourite products in hopes they would make you feel better. You stripped out of your work clothes and placed them in the hamper, putting some music on your phone so you could have something else occupying your mind when you noticed a message from your husband, saying he would be home later than expected since the sponsor meeting had evolved to a drinks and food situation, apologising for the sudden change of plans with an I love you in the end.

Walking inside the cabin, the water distracted you for about two minutes before everything came back up, thoughts of how you could be the wife to be there with him, supporting him while in big crowds, not needing to take a few moments away because it was getting too much. And maybe how he could do so much better, how he could easily have someone to do that for him without any trouble, and yet he chose you to spend the rest of his life with. And the feeling that settles in your chest makes it harder for you to breathe, harder for you to think and distract yourself so you push your back against the cold wall, the feeling so shocking to your senses that it just about got you back to yourself so you could wash your hair and body and get out.

You were in the bedroom, putting your pyjamas on when you heard Pierre's footsteps going up the stairs, "Amour, are you in the bedroom? I was wondering if you wanted to go and grab something to eat", he said before he entered the bedroom, "Oh, pyjamas already?", he asked in a neutral tone, but to you, it was the last straw. Tears started falling down and your legs started to shake as you tried your best to calm down, Pierre already kneeled in front of you, "hey, amour, hey, what's wrong?", he made you look at him, "breathe with me", he instructed, "there you go, you can talk whenever you want to", he offered as soon as you seemed to calm down, "but I will need you to tell me what's going on", he said before getting up only to sit next to you on the bed.

"I've been feeling a lot of things recently, and they're not very good", you began, "and I know I should've told you, but I don't want to bother you", and Pierre tapped your hand twice, something he had been doing for a while whenever he wanted you to know he had something to say whenever you were talking, "you will never be a bother, Y/N, you can tell me how you're feeling", he brushed some hairs out of your forehead.

Sighing, you looked up at the ceiling before speaking, "Sometimes I feel like I'm too much for you, I'm either too much work, too much drama...and I get scared one day I'll be too much for you to handle, I'm sorry I'm like this", you shared. It had always been there, a small impostor's syndrome almost where you didn't feel like you could even compare to the another drivers' partners, but recently it had all become a bit more obvious in your eyes. Your wedding had been full on Pierre's side, whilst your side was a lot smaller, consisting mainly of friends and some family members who you still had a good relationship with, everyone seemed to be wondering when you'd have a little one when there were days you felt you could barely care for yourself, people often commented and you were and when you weren't in the paddock, whatever attendance trend not satisfying their curiosity.

Pierre gulped. You had never shared this with him, not with this much emphasis. Anytime you'd feel a little more insecure, he would shower you with love, and he thought it had been enough.

"None of that is true, my love", he began, "I can assure you that. I love you no matter what", he stated, "You'll never be too much for me", Pierre assured you as he held your hand in his, making sure you kept looking at him, "there's nothing in this world than I won't do for you to make sure you feel good and well", he noted, "I- I didn't know you felt like this, I'm sorry for not noticing it".

You looked at him, seeing the hurt in his eyes, "I didn't mean to hurt you. See? This is what I mean, everything is taking a toll, now you're not feeling good about it, and it's all my fault", you took a deep breath, "hey, amour. You don't have to feel guilty about his, okay? Above anything else, I want you to be okay, so we can be okay, too. You just have to let me know", he said as he managed to hold your gaze in his, "I was thinking the other day, maybe I should go back to therapy. I stopped because I felt really good but maybe it's time to go back", you said.

Softly rubbing your cheek, Pierre spoke first, "if you think that will help, mon amour, we'll go just now, I would take you if I could right now", he said, bringing a small smile to your face, "I'll be by your side through it all, amour".

.

"Do you want me to pick you up after your appointment?", Pierre asked, looking at the calendar you had on your home office's wall, "Oh yes, that would be good actually. The mechanic said my car wouldn't be ready until the day after tomorrow", you smiled before closing a file you were working on.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something", he began, grabbing your attention, continuing once you nodded, "I've been wondering about other ways to help you, and I was wondering, with you permission of course, if I could talk to your therapist. Not to know what you discuss in the sessions, but rather to know more about the whole thing. Like, how I can help you and know all the signs and things. This with your permission, of course", he said. You gave it a thought, "I'm okay with it. I know my psychologist won't break the ethical code. But do you want to do that?", you wondered, "I want to know more of how I can help you. I want you to be as comfortable and happy as possible, and while I know a few things, there are more things that maybe she can tell me. I want to be able to help you to the best of my abilities", he said as he cradled your cheek, "but only if you're okay with it", he reiterated. Smiling at him, with small happy tears in your eyes, you mimicked his stance with your own hands, thumbs rubbing his stubbly cheek, "I love you, so much. Thank you for always being here for me", you said before allowing your arms to change position and hug your husband, arms circling his body, "you and me until the end, ma belle".

.

"There were some difficult questions today", you said to Pierre over the phone, "but I'm getting better at talking about it", you said, watching his face in the videocall, "I'm so proud of you, mon amour", he said, "It's nothing really, that's just-", you were interrupted by him, "it is big, and even if it was a small thing, you're working on it", he smiled.

"You've been a really big part, too", you winked, "I'm just making sure my wife knows the truth, that she is worth everything, that she is capable of anything, and most importantly, I try everyday to make you feel the happiness and love you deserve", he smiled.

.

"Do you still want to go for dinner tonight?", Pierre asked as he adjusted the sleeves on his shirt, having noticed you had been particularly quiet since getting home from work, "do you mind if we stay in tonight? I know you were really excited, and I was really excited too but work was too much today, and a lot of people were talking and I-", you were interrupted by your husband, "you don't have to explain yourself if you don't want to, mon amour. Was it something I did that I can make better?", he asked as you shook your head no, "was it something you had total control over?", he asked again, "no, I couldn't do more than take a few breaks and distract myself when I felt overwhelmed", you said as you saw him smile, "exactly. So we can control this now, and we can stay in. Do you want to make food together or order in?".

.

"Are you feeling okay? We can leave early if you want to", Pierre whispered in your ear as you walked to the table in the restaurant the team had rented out to celebrate the recent positive results, "I'm okay, so far so good", you smiled at his attentiveness, kissing his hand that was laced with yours as you sat down and greeted everyone at the table.

Pierre came back from using the bathroom when he noticed you weren't inside the room anymore, going up to where you were sitting and asking for you, "Y/N took Maisie outside, we are discussing some things for the next meeting and she took her outside with her to see the stars", Elise from the engineering team said before Pierre made his way to the outside garden of the restaurant, wanting to know where and how you were.

"Oh, there you are, Y/N", he said, looking for any sign of discomfort in your body language, but only finding you comfortable looking up at the stars with the little girl in your arms as she tried to grab them, "She was getting a little bit cranky, bless her", you explained, seeing the worried creases on his forehead soften, "so I thought we could come outside and see the stars and the moon while the adults talked about boring engineering things", you smiled as Maisie seemed to pay attention to your husband now, "are you looking at Pierre? He's very handsome, right?", you tapped her nose and she let out a delicious giggle, earning giggles from both of you in return.

"I thought you might have not felt good inside, I was worried for a second there", Pierre explained, "I was fine, everyone was lovely as usual, but she was getting a bit restless and Elise and Tom couldn't keep her entertained, so I said I could take her if they'd like", you said as you felt Maisie cuddle into your chest, her hands grasping the material of your shirt, "and she's really fighting sleep, aren't you, little monkey?", you said as you softly stroked her cheek, "you need to sleep, little one", Pierre offered as he started walking, hoping that the steady movement would help her fall asleep easily.

"I'm very proud of you", Pierre began talking, "I can only imagine how hard things still can be for you, but you work everyday to get better at it and to be better, and that makes me so happy and proud of you", he said as he circled his arm around your waist and kissed the side of your head, mindulf of the little girl who whose eyes were becoming droopier by the minute, "thank you, you know I would've not done it without you", you looked at him, "a lot of it comes down to me, I know, but having you there makes it easier", you finished, puckering your lips so he could kiss them, "we're in this together, mon amour", he offered before a snore was heard, the both of you cooing at the sight of Maisie asleep, leaving you to think once again about kids. It had been going on for a while, especially now that you felt a lot more in control and like you could deal better with your day to day thoughts. "Hey, my love, I've been thinking about something lately, and you obviously have a say in this, but I've been thinking about one of our own", you voiced your thoughts, knowing that your relationship was an open and comfortable place for you to share them without any judgement from your husband, "I know there's still some work to do, and quite frankly there will always be, but I've been thinking about it and it doesn't scare me like it did before, I actually look forward to every moment", you finished your ramble, looking for any sign of disagreement in Pierre's face, finding only a big smile, "whenever you are ready, mon amour, you just let me know and we can start practicing for a little Gasly", he laughed, squeezing your body against is, "seeing you with a baby on your arms is making me absolutely ready", he whispered in your ear, "hey, small ears are within hearing capacity!", you suddenly felt shy, "what? I'm promising her a little friend to play with in the paddock next year!".

[bow-of-aros]

Day Nine: Wake Up!

Summary: Ted is really tired and would honestly love to take a little power nap at his desk.

Apparently Bill wants him to talk about his feelings like an emotionally cognisant human being instead.

-

Hey guys! I might be running out of steam a little, but I'm determined to keep going strong at least for a couple more days. I might take a break over the weekend since it's thanksgiving and also mine and my brother's birthdays, so I'm gonna be a little busy. This fic got super off track from what I had planned but I hope that everyone enjoys this installment <33

-

Another boring fucking day at work.

Ted didn’t even know what he was doing here half the time. Most of the shit he did just felt like endless busy work. It was all organizing files and pinning email and printing documents.

Normally he was able to power through it with a few shitty coffees and a healthy dose of bothering his coworkers. It was a steady paycheck and that was something he definitely needed.

Doubly so now that he had Peter living with him.

Last night had been exhausting.

Look, he hadn’t exactly been thinking about the fact that he had work in the morning when his kid brother showed up on his doorstep, bag slung over his shoulder and tears streaming down his face, saying, “I told them. They uh— They kicked me out. Can I stay here for a bit?”

The next several hours had been spent clearing out the junk room for Peter to put all his stuff in and then sitting there while he explained what happened. Now, Ted isn’t the best when it comes to feelings, but he’s of the opinion that there’s nothing a cup of hot chocolate and a firm Spankoffski hug can’t make at least a little better.

It must have done something because, right before Peter had finally drifted off to sleep, he’d smiled at Ted and called him Teddy, something he hadn’t done since he was a little kid.

At that point it had already been past midnight, but then Ted made the genius decision to stay up a few extra hours googling variations of How to tell my trans brother he can live with me for as long as he needs without being gross or emotional about it.

Oh, and also Is it still illegal to kill your parents if they’re transphobic assholes? Asking for a friend. But he’d used incognito for that one, obviously. He wasn’t fucking stupid.

What all that meant was that now Ted was sitting at his desk, trying to focus on what he was pretty sure was the correct computer screen out of the three he was seeing.

Maybe nobody would notice if he closed his eyes for a little bit. It’s not like they paid any attention to him anyway—

“HEY!”

Ted’s elbows shot down to rub away the electric feeling of someone goosing his sides. That was his way of being affectionate while still being annoying and he did not appreciate it being used against him.

“Rise and shine, Ted!” He looked up behind himself to see Bill’s smiling face, looking much too proud of himself for what was a subpar joke at best.

God, he is not awake enough to deal with this right now. Maybe if he just closes his eyes and ignores his coworker, he’ll leave Ted alone.

“What— Oh come on, Ted. It’s a beautiful day! Let’s see that smile.”

Well, that didn’t sound good.

“Bihihihihill! Fuck ohohohoff!”

The attack of pokes to his torso has Ted sliding down in his chair. He’s not awake enough to stifle the giggles that start leaking out of him and, yeah, maybe it does make him feel a little bit lighter.

It doesn’t last too long before Bill lets up and Ted’s able to catch his breath, clawing himself back into his seat just to sag right back down into it.

“Hey man,” Bill leans against the wall of his cubicle, a concerned furrow in his brow, “You doing alright? You’ve been kind of out of it all day.”

Ugh, looks like they’re doing this.

“I’m just tired, okay? My parents kicked out my little brother and he showed up at my place last night. I was up way too late trying to figure out how to make sure he feels like he can stay or whatever.”

Silence rings out after Ted stops speaking, and he glances up to see a sort of awed look on Bill’s face.

“What?” He curls his arms around himself, hunching his shoulders self-consciously, “What did I say?”

“Nothing! I just didn’t know that you had that protective big brother instinct in you. It’s really sweet,” Bill looks contemplative for a moment, “I also didn’t know that you had a little brother. I thought that you had a sister?”

Ted just stares at him, willing Bill to connect the dots on his own.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Ohhhhh.”

“Yeah, dude. I don’t want to fuck this up,” He’s still tired and he drags a hand down his face, trying to wake himself up, “Pete’s just a kid! And I’ve never really had to take care of him before. Or myself, really. I don’t know what I’m doing!”

Bill’s silent for a moment before straightening up and placing a hand on Ted’s shoulder, “Look. I don’t really know what your situation with your brother is. But I know that you’ve been walking around like a zombie all day because you threw yourself into figuring out how to make him feel at home, and I think that that’s a pretty good indicator that you’re heading in the right direction.”

Damn. When did Bill get all wise and shit?

“Yeah. Thanks, man. That uh— That means a lot.”

In response to Ted’s emotionally constipated attempt at expressing gratitude, Bill just offers a lopsided grin before heading back to his cubicle.

“Actually, you know what? There’s only an hour left of the day, Ted, why don’t you head home and see your brother? I’ll cover anything that comes in for you.”

Oh God, what is he feeling? What’s this warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest?

Does he actually like Bill? Like an actual fucking friend?!

“Really?”

“Yeah! I’ll see you tomorrow,” His smile fades into something a little softer, “And get some actual sleep tonight, Ted. You’re not good to anyone with half your already suffering brain function.”

Ted’s basically already halfway out the door, but he pauses for a moment to flip Bill off and toss a muttered Thanks over his shoulder.

He walks to the car, taking in a deep breath before sliding in and turning the ignition, listening to his shitty car rev to life.

Yeah, Ted thinks as he starts the drive back home, Maybe I do got this.

[maladaptivewriting]

This is 100% a stupid question but I’m committed.

I have A LOT of ideas for fanfics, and I want nothing more to write them bc what’s better than making your own fic exactly how you wish?

BUT I have zero skill or talent for dialogue, like at all. Like I took creative writing my senior year and my teacher made it clear I needed to pick a future other than writing but he was proud that I showed up.

So after my whole life story here’s my question: does something like dialogue come easy to you? Or do you find yourself coming up with plot and working from there? How are you naturally funny??? <<okay that was really stupid, but your interactions between characters always make me giggle.

I guess I’m just worried I wouldn’t be able to embody the characters in a way they deserve (even if they’re not real) does that make sense?

I know in a recent ask you said you felt as if you had a hard time writing James and I’d just like to say I think you write him BEAUTIFULLY in TGK and Solar Flare (and dorm toy, but I’ll take it to my grave that that’s one of my fav fics)

Anyhoo sorry for the novel of an ask, hope you have a fantastic weekend! ❤️💕

so i find that writing dialogue is one of the hardest elements of writing for me. you'll notice if you read the golden king that dialogue is used sparsely in the beginning and then used more often in later chapters. this is because i was (and still am) intimidated by writing dialogue.

one of the things that helps me is to remove all other elements of writing when i'm trying to work through a sequence of dialogue. so i might say it out loud or just think of the back and forth, then write just the dialogue without any punctuation or description. sometimes this helps me with the flow of a conversation so that it sounds more natural.

i think the truth is though that the only way to get better and feel more comfortable with it, is to practice and keep doing it.

also thank you for what you said about me writing james. my struggle to write him is why solar flare updates take so long because i find it difficult to access his pov in my own brain and i try to do it justice.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Honor in Crisis

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, NTT, Titans, JLI, Arrowfam, Flashfam, GL Corps, Infinity Inc

Summary: Every chapter will focus on one character specifically and then I'll update their statuses in order.

This is a no powers au/fix-it fic for Heroes in Crisis. I wanted to focus on the characters and their healing. I decided that'd be easier to put some of these characters in a fic like this and work on it more from a real-world perspective. I DO want to say that I do not believe healing is linear so don't plan on a clear-cut happy ending. I'd say (and idk for sure) we're gonna eventually get a bittersweet ending for certain characters but nothing tragic.

Chapters: 6/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Kole Weathers, Lilith Clay, Eddie Bloomberg, Michael Carter, Michelle Carter, Rani Carter, Charley Parker, Grant Emerson, Roy Harper, Grant Wilson, Joseph Wilson, Thaddeus Thawne, Bart Allen, Helen Claiborne, President Thawne, Todd Rice, Alan Scott (DCU), Damon Matthews

Relationship(s): Damon Matthews/Todd Rice

Additional Tags: No Powers AU, Canon Divergent AU, Fix-It Fic, Angst

Chapter Six: Cleaning Tapes (Grant Emerson's POV)

Grant lay in the grass, his eyes closed in quiet contemplation. He struggled with the contemplation part. He'd sat and watched everyone have their visits that week, and he couldn't help but feel jealous. Or maybe lonely. But, maybe those feelings were the same thing. Grant knew he was wrong for what he did and that he messed up a huge opportunity that he'd been allotted, but he wished someone would come and see him. A shadow cast over him. "You're blocking my sun, and if you're here because Roy asked you to come—."

"Actually, he's running late," Roy replied. Grant opened his eyes and grinned. He'd been secretly looking forward to Roy's visit for weeks, but Roy's schedule rarely allowed him time to come by. "What's going on, kiddo?" "Reflecting," Grant answered, "I thought you were out of the country on business. What are you doing here?" Roy shoved his hands in his pockets and chuckled. "I don't have to have a reason to come visit you. Ready to go?" Roy asked. Grant sat up, and Roy offered him a hand. He helped him up, and they walked inside. "Go? Like leave?" Grant asked. Roy had talked to him about it before, but he never thought Roy was serious. Grant followed Roy to the desk and excitedly watched as Roy signed him out. "You're serious?" "Just for the weekend like we talked about, but yeah. That okay?" Roy asked. Grant nodded. He knew he messed up, even after Roy tried to help him, and he thought Roy had just about given up. He was happy to know that wasn't the case. Roy messed up his hair, and the receptionist gave them the okay to leave. As soon as they got in the car, Grant started messing around with the radio. He didn't want to say anything stupid, so he didn't say anything at all. Roy turned the music down and tapped the steering wheel. "There's a horror movie marathon on all weekend... Bunch of slashers," Roy whispered, "And I made dinner... Real dinner, not that frozen junk." Grant's smile faded, and he looked at Roy. "You made dinner? For me?" Grant asked. Roy nodded. "Roy, I know I don't say this much, but thanks for everything. I know I let you down, but—."

"Wait a minute, now. You've never once disappointed me," Roy replied, "Actually, I'm proud of you. You're working at getting better, and that's not easy. I know it's not. I'm just happy that you're still struggling. Struggling isn't a bad thing. It just means that you're trying." Grant cracked a smile and looked out the window. The ride to Roy's place was a quiet one. Roy let him in and let him settle in before making their plates and microwaving them. "Roy, where's Lian?" Grant asked. "She's with her mom for the weekend. Besides, I picked up a few of your favorite movies, and they're not really to her taste," Roy joked as he held up a few VHS tapes. Grant laughed.

"You're the only person I know who still owns a VCR," Grant teased. "Are you about to give me some shitty news?" "No, I just want you to have a good weekend while you're at home," Roy replied, "Come on, let's eat on the couch and put one of these movies in." Grant set his plate down and opened the fridge to get a soda. After he popped in the tape, he dug into his food and watched the trailers for movies that had long since come out. Grant was more focused on the taste of the dinner. He hadn't realized how good Roy's cooking was until that moment. He scarfed down his food before the movie started. "Hey, slow down. There's more where this came from," Roy reassured him. Grant awkwardly chuckled as he wiped his mouth. "Before the movie starts, I just wanted to talk to you about what we're gonna do when you get out." Grant set his fork down and frowned. He expected the worst. "Roy, you've done all you could for me, and I appreciate—." "Wait a minute. You're way off," Roy interrupted him. Grant let out a sigh of relief. "I know you've still got a year or two left in school and that you've been with me for a little while now... I guess what I'm trying to say is... That I wanna make it official if you're comfortable with that." "Like... You wanna adopt me?" Grant asked. He hadn't thought about it before. Roy was older than him but in an older brother way. He couldn't help but smile. Roy was tough on him most of the time, but Grant knew he cared, or at least he seemed like he did more than anybody else. "Why?" "Because you're part of the family, and my health insurance isn't terrible... And well, uh, we—. We care about you here, Grant," Roy confessed. Grant stood up and walked away from the living room for a moment. He couldn't help but cry, but he didn't want Roy to see him crying. It was embarrassing. Roy followed him to the corner of the room. "You don't have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to think about it," Roy whispered. Grant turned around and embraced him. "I'm sorry," Grant mumbled. Roy hugged him back. "There's no shame in crying," Roy reassured him, "Do you need a minute?" Grant shook his head. "Can I say yes before you change your mind?" Grant asked. Roy laughed and nodded. Even if Roy wasn't Grant's biological parent, he was good to him. He kept him out of trouble even when he was at his worst. He even vouched for him when he got in trouble recently. Things were quiet for a while after that, and amid the excitement, Grant fell asleep. Roy covered Grant with a blanket. Grant took in a sharp breath of air and opened his eyes. "Shhh, you're okay. Go get ready for bed," Roy whispered. Grant nodded. He showered and brushed his teeth, lingering in the living room. He was worried he'd wake up back there if he went to sleep. "What do you want for breakfast?" Grant smiled. "Can I make breakfast?" Grant asked. Roy nodded. "I hope you're a good cook. Get some sleep, okay?" Roy smiled. Grant nodded, but he still didn't move. "You can sleep in your room or on the couch... It doesn't matter." "Are you going to bed?" Grant asked. Roy nodded. "But if you need anything, I'm a pretty light sleeper. Just knock if you need me, and I'll be up," Roy reassured him. He nodded and walked to his bedroom, and climbed into bed. It wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep.

[purple-hole]

03/02/2024 || Bourg la Reine

This is a letter for my future self, ideally 30 years young me :

Hey love ! How are you doing ? Let me tell you a bit about me, i know it might hurt you, but it's important to hear me so you accept it.

I am doing quite well. The rhythm of my life has been hectic so far. And i feel like i am running all the time. That's why today i decided to say stop and look after myself and yours.

On a personal level, a lot of positive changes have been made. I am aware of my traumas and my weaknesses, and I'm working on it. I have been seeing a therapist for more than a year and a half now, we have talked about emotions, how to express them, and how important it is to say no to other, create a clear limit whenever i feel it and say my opinion with no fear. We talked about fear, getting angry, and having non-violent communication. We did "thérapie des schémas" and it helped me understand some of my behaviours and try to accept it. On the other hand, i started doing theatre with my baby every Thursday. I learned a lot during these 2 months, especially to build strong self-esteem and to express my thoughts and emotions without fear. I look at it as another type of therapy. I am really proud of myself to where i am now. I hope that you're still looking after your mental health and that you're still challenging it for a better version.

On a relationship level, I have been committed to our relationship since May 2023. I went to Tunisia and met his lovely family in July 2024. They were very welcoming and warming. I built a different type of successful relationship with each member of his family. He came to Lebanon with me in December 2023. I was happy to see my two worlds combining and trying to merge into one. We moved in together last weekend, last weekend of January 2023. And here we are working on our future together and making our own family full of love and peace. I hope that you'll always find this secure feeling in this relationship and that you're giving him your best. He is an amazing person, never forget that whatever happens.

On a professional level, I have been working in UMS for 2 years and 4 months now. I learned a lot about the company, my work, and the life of an employee. This experience made me have a clear and sincere opinion about this kind of job. It's a NO. I feel like it's sucking my whole energy, it's killing me slowly. It's like i have no more control over my life, not even my goals. It's a prison without me noticing it. But the good news is that i am aware of it more than ever. Here, we are working on breaking it with my partner. We're trying to build our own project together, taking a lot of risks and enjoying the process. I hope that you have already reached that point and that you're looking after new special goals free from society and more dependent on nature.

On a health level, i have reached my weight goal, which is 57kg. Actually, it's not that important to me. However, i am doing more yoga for all kinds of situations. Sometimes, i go for a run. I do swimming once per week. And i'm looking for a climbing partner to start again.

Enough talking about myself. That was my short story as of today. I would like to remind you to always enjoy life, especially details in your daily tasks. Problems are always here. Try not to look at them as problems, but as lessons. Dont stop learning. I hope that by the you have already accepted to be loved and that you're giving your love to the fullest. I hope that you're free from all fears. I hope that you are a better version of me. I am proud of me, i am proud of you wherever you are, whoever you are. Accept me so you can love yourself even more. I trust you. Keep taking care of your self, your mental and physical health, and your lovely partner.

Tania