#AND the new watered-down versions of kingdom songs all in one go

[sluttish-armchair]

I somehow managed to make the Party propaganda song I wrote for the cinematic atmosphere of my adaptation, “Big Brother, Our Doubleplusgood Friend” even worse by translating it to “BB, Doubleplusgood Goodperson.”

[ecoterrorist-katara]

2, 19, and 20 for the fandom asks!

heyyyy thanks for the ask!

2. My favorite fic from the fandom that I’ve read

I LOVE SO MANY!!! let’s narrow it to three…I’m a huge fan of crushinator’s Half Asleep and eleventy7’s Once Around the Sun, but if I had an icicle to my head and had to pick just one, I’d say colourwhirled’s Southern Lights. All three fics rival published books to me, but Southern Lights embodies a lot of things I love about fanfiction as a literary tradition (distinct from original fiction). It’s very, very long, which means we have plenty of time to dive into how different characters grow in a way that’s very difficult outside of long series. Katara’s journey is at the centre of Southern Lights, obviously, but we see a lot from Zuko, Sokka, Azula, Toph, Aang…I’ve compared it to A Song of Ice and Fire before for this reason. Because it’s a full AU, it also takes advantage of our knowledge of canon and works it into something very different, so there’s plenty of “ohhhhh so this is where x happens” and you get that delight of both familiarity and newness. Also the themes of colonialism, trauma, reconciliation, and oppression from your enemies vs oppression from your own people are done in a super mature way. There are no easy answers in Southern Lights, but I feel like the author trusts the reader to grapple with those complexities.

19. Favorite headcanon

Momtara and Dadko for the Gaang! I love the idea that Zuko helps her with chores in the Western Air Temple as a way of regaining her favour, and then he just keeps doing it. We love an equitable distribution of domestic labour.

20. Least favorite headcanon

I like Fire Lady Katara, and I’ve defended it before, but I don’t like the version of the headcanon where the people of the Fire Nation think she’s a savage / peasant and she has to get etiquette lessons and learn to be a FN noblewoman to get respect. I think Katara would sooner pull the “I won the throne so watch your mouth” card than to defer to people who think her culture is inferior, particularly because we don’t have any indication from canon that the Water Tribes are especially looked down upon (more than, say, the Earth Kingdom). And as much as I like Fire Lady Katara, I prefer United Republic Councilwoman Katara or Chief Katara. Both are obviously harder to execute so I understand why fic writers don’t go for them, but I have a serious soft spot for fics that depict her in those ways.

[viivdle]

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Jurdan's Version) with @annamatix<3

here is part two of my analysis, and don't forget to look at anna's version in jude's pov on her account!!

"And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis" fits cardan well. the most obvious reasons are that he calls jude "darling god" and he was never ashamed of his sexuality, he's open about his desires. but all he's done was try to fill the void that jude caused and would inevitably fill. she turned what was fun into something sacred.

"People started talking, putting us through our paces" the folk talk about them, it's inevitable. i think it takes a bigger toll on cardan than he'd ever admit. not because he doubts the strength of their love, but because he knows being mortal in elfhame already sets you up for failure, and how hard jude works to live up to standards and exceed them. being constantly brought down does something to you, even if you're used to it. he is the first to know it.

"I knew there was no one in the world who could take it" again, nobody can take the judging of *everyone* in elfhame without some help. he knows how strong jude is, but he also knows how she's shielded herself from the not-so-whispered whispers before. and he knows how he himself coped with it. if he can help jude ignore the small part of gossip that does get to her, he will.

"But we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied" another example of the ability to take it literally. cardan's hands were tied through (almost) all of TWK. beside that, a lot of opportunities didn't present themselves to cardan, even though he was already the high king, because of the prophecy. all throughout the series we read about people looking down at him, this doesn't change after the coronation. it just makes other people weary of what could happen if they were to cut deals with a cursed king.

"Yeah we were dancing, like it was the first time, first time" the scheming of jude was nothing new to cardan, whenever it happened it simply followed a pattern he already knew. their whole story is so diverse but can be looked at from a certain perspective that shows it can all be watered down into the same/similar tropes. betrayal, hurt, anguish - nothing new to either of them.

"I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us" as mentioned before, cardan doesn't like it when jude throws herself into danger - and she does it over and over again. not only that, but there is always the chance of assassinations they can't control - we know they happen quite often as well. all those fears that are reasonable make *him* being the person to separate them even more ironic.

"So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?" for me these lyrics fit the scene after balekin's murder when cardan asks jude to marry him. it's risky, not 100% thought through, and definitely not thought of because of rationality. but he had hopes of overcoming what had already divided them before with it.

"I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted" do i even need to explain? "shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous" says enough. i could go into a whole rant about it though.

"Oh, 'cause it's gravity, oh, keeping you with me" what else would keep bringing them together if not gravity and the force of the universe? they shouldn't work. they shouldn't. but only if you look at their dynamic and not the chemistry and emotions that actually make them, well, them. every story and song in elfhame is basically "mortals are bad" and "how could an immortal ever love a mortal" those things are buried in the roots of the kingdom's history. cardan tormented jude for ages, and even if you forgive that, it still wouldn't be healthy. but somehow both of their unhealthy personalities better one another. they work when everything speaks against it. gravity.

"I'd kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down" is there a better lyric for the coronation scene than this? it all went to hell, it was a massacre. cardan got obliterated but after jude held him captive he somehow wasn't a total and utter wreck. yes, his family was complicated to say the least, but it was still family. but what was more important for some reason? jude.

"I'd hold you as the water rushes in" taken literally, this is about the time the undersea held jude captive. metaphorically, it's the same. he'd stay with her through it all, it was proven many times. again - he didn't know anything but jude when he was a serpent.

"If I could dance with you again" he was sure he had ultimately lost her when he exiled her, and we have evidence of his regrets and thoughts. he didn't even have the chance to properly enjoy being with her without it being part of a scheme before he banished her. before that, she was taken by the undersea and god knows what he thought during that time.

thank you so much for listening to my rant even though again, i doubt people read all this. i had so much fun writing this and having two different sides on it - anna's and mine. i hope you enjoyed and thank you so much anna, you're amazing<3

[laneynoir]

Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP

Kili and Tauriel: Baby Fic + Interrupted Declaration of Love 

This sounds impossible even for me, so I think I owe you an apology. XD Let it die in your Ask Box if it's too hard. Bahaha.

@sotwk Thank you so much 😊

Me the instant I noticed your ask:✨ I N S P I R A T I O N ✨

No really, thank you for being my first ever request Nanath 🤗

Word count: 1677

Kili Durinson, Prince of Erabor, beloved by his people, and Hero to half of Middle Earth, hates babys.

...well prehaps that was a bit dramatic. Kili, at this moment, harbors no significant love for this particular baby.

Sighing heavaly he glances down at the fuzzy red ball of fluff that is Bomburs child, the pebble really isn't a bad kid, usually, and he could hardly be blamed for teething, but really did he have to do it on the first night that Kili had free?

The prince had had plans After all. Perfect plans, he'd made sure of it. Nothing was going to go wrong.

Kili feels as if he can hear the Valar laughing at him.

He raises his eyes as the graceful form of his beloved ducks back into the room, oh that we could be somewhere else, without a baby. But Kili is an optimistic sort, he hasn't given up hope compleatly.

He's mostly just perturbed that the hour and a half of sitting with Bilbo has gone to waste. They had put so much thought into the plan, every detail ironed out, he'd even gone so far as to bribe Nori into using his spy network to get flowers.

But fate never wanted to give the poor prince a break.

A sneeze brings him back to the present and Kili makes a sympathetic face at the child, pointedly ignoring that his Royal Public Relations Tunic now has baby snot smeared accros the front. 

Kili is not above taking some pleasure from imagining Balin's face when he descovers this little fact.

Smiling softy as Tauriel begins humming an elven song, he chides himself for mentally complaining so heartily; after all, Bombour could not be blamed for his cousins untimely labor.

True to the costumes set forth at the fist births, all family members over the age of five, were to be near when a new relative was brought into the world, thus when Lady Elberdeth's water broke a half month early, no time could be spared to finding another caretaker for the one-year-old.

Bilbo would have done of course, as would any of the company, but sadly they all had prior engagements. Bussinous in Dale was what detained his family Thorin as king, Bilbo as consort, and Fili as crown prince, had all been called away to a meeting who's date had been agreed upon weeks prior.

Kili had been grumpy at them a mere five seconds when he'd caught Bilbo's dismayed expression and forgiven them all imeadiatly.

Bombour's tears of gratitude when Tauriel had offered to whatch ober the baby may have been a comtender twords that as well, and really no one could be upset at the large dwarf for long regardless of any circumstance.

The child's breathing slows to a steadier rythym as he desendes into sleep, though Kili notes that his mouth is still open, his nose compleatly blocked up.

When the Pebble is laid down in his parents' bed -head elevated- Kili alowed himself to collapse into a chair in the parlour. "I find myself exhausted." He is delighted when Tauriel rewards him with a sift version of her musical laugh.

"Indeed, I shall never say aught agaist the patience of dwarves, that master Bombour and his One have done this four time before" Kili winces in agreement, he find himself sure that he could never find the willpower for it.

And Kili has alot of willpower.

The evidence of which is sitting across from himself, looking like a painting as she reads a book. After all, his uncle is not oberly fond of elves, dealing with them was a chore, allowing one to live in his kingdom? Unthinkable.

Kili and been hard put to make the elven maids case, he blames it on Thorin's then wounds, and Bilbo's minesrations that the efforts had been successful at all.

Not to say it didn't take longer than he'd wished, in the end it had taken a total of nine arguments to convince his uncle, the last of which finally pushed his alowence.

"Uncle please!-"

"No! Kili! How many times must I reinforce this? I will not have an elf living within our halls, she has no reason.".

Kili resists the urge to rip his beard out. "Tauriel has been banished, was banished because of her efforts to assist us! Is that not reason enough? Were we not exiles of our own country so long, have you already forgotten?"

Thorin runs a hand through his hair, wincing at rhe pain the movment brings. "Kili..."

"No! It is no differant! She saved my life AND Fili's if you'll remember."

"I am not saying that we do not owe this elf a great deal," the king concedes, allowing a flash of hope to pass through Kili. "But that is not the same as allowing an outsider into our home."

Biting back his anoyance in what Killi feels is a great exhibition of maturity, he responds as calmly as he can manage, "Bilbo stays." Thorin's facial expression shifts rapidly at the mention of the Hobbit and Kili bites a smirk back. "His ears are rathrer pointed, are they not?"

"That is not-"

"Hmm, yes, they are. I supose you'll be packing him off as well? Cant have outsiders in our midst" Kili is being manipulative, he knows it, but he has grown tired of arguing with his uncle and is unashamed of using the poir burglar against his -obviously love struck- uncle.

Predictably, Thorin bristles instantly bristles. "Master Baggins has not been an outsider for quite some time-"

"And why not?" Kili's reprochfull frown is evident to his uncle, who in return sighs wearily.

"Has he not done more for our people than can ever be repaid? Treated us as his own, when we- I had done nothing to deserve such treatment?"

"Uncle you prove my point for me, you've yet to give Tauriel even the slightest chance, just as you once did Bilbo! You grew to regret that choice, would you repeat it here?"

Thorin raises an eyebrow. "I doubt that my feelings for this elf will ever mirror those I harbour for Bilbo?"

Kili's nose srunches at the mental image. "Mahal, no uncle. But what you feel for Bilbo I do for Tauriel." His words are quieter neer the end, this he had not told anyone so far, though he knew Fili suspected.

Thorin's eyes widen a fraction. "You mean to say-"

Kili grabs his hair in his own hands. "YES, uncle Thorin, I feel it, Tauriel is my one." When he raises his head Thorin sees the unshed tears in his eyes, "every hour I am away from her it pains me, worse the this accursed stab wound"

There were more words spoken after that, but Thorin was convinced, and spent the next few months urging Kili to confess to the elven maid.

Sterling himself, Kili reaches the desision, if Tauriel had any though of returning his feeling surely she would not refute to acknowledge them only because of the less than glamorous surounding-

"Kili are you well?"

The youngest Durin is yanked from his thoughts he the lovely voice of the Eleth. He blinks owlishly in response, confusion evident.

That beautiful laugh escapes from her lips again. "You've been staring at me for some time Kili, my guess would be around seven and a half minuets."

Kili grins sheepishly. "Apologies," Tauriel smiles her forgivness. "Only... I wish to tell you-" a cry picks up in the next room and both of them shoot to their feet, runing to the bext room.

After the child is clean, dry, and back asleep, Kili meanders to the kitchen, pleased to find a suitable snack to share with Tauriel.

This is of course, an innocent snack, not a tool of procrastination nor an excuse to be close to the elven maid. Not at all.

By the time the last of the pie has dissapreared, Kili has once again gathered his courage and speaks; "Tauriel I wish to-"

A thump is heard, Tauriel and Kili exchange glances before racing once again to the crying child's aid.

The child who seemingly had a death wish, as he had rolled off the bed and -being a rather plump child- had gotten stuck betwixt the bed and the wall.

Twenty minutes later he is back asleep and there is once again peace- but Kili has decided not to trust it and goes to open his mouth emidiatly, but is cut off before he can begin.

"Kili I wish to speak of a metter of great importance"

The tone in the elves voice sends a jolt of panic through the young dwarf and he swallows thickly before gesturing for Tauriel to continue, dreading what her words may be.

"I wish for you to know that I harbor romantic feeling for you, and should like very much if you would allow me to court you."

Kili stares a moment, then stares some more. Then he blinks three times in rapid succession.

Tauriel twists her hands nervously in her lap before withdrawing a small box from the flods of her tunic. Opening it allows Kili to see a beautifully crafted crafted pair of beads, each made of onyx with petrified wood inlaid.

Suddenly a near-hysterical laugh echoes throughout the room, and Kili is shocked to realise it has come from himself.

Slapping a hand over his mouth he reaches into his own pocket to withdraw a box similar to Tauriel's, opening it to reveal two beads of his own. Crafted from jade, they are made into the appearance of leaves.

To his relief Tauriel catches onto the irony of the situation, and begins to laugh as well. After a moment Kili calms himself enough to ask; "May I braid your hair Armariline?"

With a smile that makes Kili's heart sore, Tauriel nods. "If you will allow me the same honour?"

Kili agrees instantly, and moves to his love- right at a cry rings throughout the space once again.

ONCE AGAIN- thank you so much Nanath! I would have no courage to post this but I'm doing it anyway! (Seriously though, I saw this ask at 2:43 am, its now 3:21. No quality here)

[exvangelicalrage]

Apocalypse Anxiety

6/30/23

When I was a kid, one of the excellent decisions my parents made was not letting us read the Left Behind books, even though everyone at church swore the books were the best thing they'd ever read (after the bible, of course). 

If you're unfamiliar, the whole series revolves around a futuristic interpretation of christian eschatology, particularly the rapture and the tribulation. The series starts with a good chunk of the world population getting "raptured" suddenly, or taken to heaven by god, and then follows a group of people who didn't disappear. These folks try to figure out what happened and navigate the wild post-rapture world, and everything wraps up with the second coming of christ. The characters that survived the tribulation witness the millennial kingdom, where christ reigns for a thousand years, and then the final judgment day, and eventually, a new heaven and a new earth are created.

Obviously it's complete bullshit. It's not even biblical, as 11-year-old me wrote extensively about in her journal (I even included citations!). But the thing is, a lot of christians still believed it. And I think it formed a lot of mental images about what the "end times" would look like for people, which, as a result, meant there was a lot of conversation about prepping.

If you got left behind, what would you do? How would you survive? People talked about learning to grow stuff and sew. They bought generators and came up with secondary heat sources for their house. They talked about how prepared they already were compared to everyone else. 

Keep in mind, we lived in a rural area where people already had to be quite self-sufficient. So it was more of a bragging contest than anything, with a few people beefing up the systems they already had in place. 

The year 2000 brought with it a lot of apocalypse panic, fueled in part by that stupid book series (though I'm sure the Cold War, recent in so many memories, didn't help either). The Y2K bug was going to take down systems all over the world! We could be without power, without computers, without clean water!!! Our local morning show guys even did a parody of the YMCK song, where they sang, "Yyyy-2-K! What's the big deal about Yyyy-2-K! It's a real big deal / no it's not even real—" etc. Luckily for me I do not remember most of the lyrics.

Fast forward to 2016. By then, I was well and truly Exited from christianity. I'd made it through Y2K, 9/11, the recession, and college. I had a full time job and friends who weren't christian. I hardly ever thought about apocalypses, other than admitting that I occasionally enjoyed reading a good post-apocalyptic book series. 

But the day after the 2016 election, I found myself crying under a tree in the cemetery near my condo. I was terrified that trump would bring about the apocalypse, even though I didn't even believe in the fucking apocalypse anymore! At least, not the christian version of it.

Someone made a meme that said "the end comes with trump-pence (instead of 'trumpets')" and it was all I could think of. Like a giant neon sign to my trauma-bent brain.

Fast forward again to 2020. You probably remember that fucked-up year. 

It started with fires in Australia. And murder hornets. Remember those? Weird "signs and omens" of an impending apocalypse. Then came the plague and pestilence. 

Truth be told, it feels like we've basically been mid-apocalypse my entire life. Y2K. 9/11. The recession. trump being elected. fires. famine. plague. pestilence. war. death. 

And now, there are more fires. So many fires. I'm in an area with bad air. The canadian wildfires are filling the atmosphere with smoke and it's drifted down into my region of the northeast USA. Again. A couple weeks ago, we had air that had me and my spouse coughing and with sore throats, even indoors. Today, the outside is hazy and smells, and the new outlets are warning us all to stay indoors. 

I know it's just smoke. I know it'll blow away. I understand what's happening. Not to mention, we're fine. We are safe indoors. We have an air purifier. We don't have to work outside or even leave the house if we don't want to. Though the dog might get annoyed if he doesn't get his daily adventure.

We have enough food to last us weeks, if we're careful. We have a tank full of gas. I have a boatload of back-up plans for what to do in a variety of catastrophic scenarios. 

But I still feel the overwhelming desire to curl up in a hole and hide. My anxiety is sky high. It's a visceral reaction—not to the smoke itself, or to the knowledge of climate change, or even to a rational fear that one day, the fires might reach us. 

No. It's fear of the christian apocalypse. Fear of the rapture. Fear of getting left behind.

I know it's all fake. I just can't quite shake it.

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and How

Note: huge thank you to @meandmypagancrew who collaborated with me on the lyrics for this post!

'Taylor Swift'

Picture to Burn: My daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be

The Outside: So how can I ever try to be better?

Our Song: I say, “Nothing, I was just thinking how we don’t have a song”

Invisible: She’ll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by

Invisible: And all I think about is how to make you think of me

A Perfectly Good Heart: How do I get it back the way it was before?

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Fearless: And I don’t know how it gets better than this

Love Story: Romeo, save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel

You Belong With Me: I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be

You Belong With Me: All this time, how could you not know, baby?

Tell Me Why: You could write a book on how to ruin someone’s perfect day

The Best Day: I’m thirteen now and don’t know how my friends could be so mean

The Best Day: Don’t know how long it’s gonna take to feel okay

You All Over Me: It’s how it used to be

Mr. Perfectly Fine: How’s your heart after breaking mine?

We Were Happy: That’s sorta how I feel right now

Don’t You: Don’t you smile at me and ask me how I’ve been

Don’t You: You don’t know how much I feel I love you still

Bye Bye Baby: And I’m so scared of how this ends

Mine: You said, “I remember how we felt sitting by the water”

'Speak Now (Taylor's Version)'

Back To December: How’s life? Tell me, how’s your family?

Back To December: How you held me in your arms that September night

Dear John: And I’ll look back in regret how I ignored when they said, “Run as fast as you can”

Mean: Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing

The Story Of Us: How we met and the sparks flew instantly

The Story Of Us: How’d we end up this way?

The Story Of Us: How I was losing my mind when I saw you here

The Story Of Us: I’d tell you I miss you, but I don’t know how

Better Than Revenge: Come on, show me how much better you are

Last Kiss: All that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss

Last Kiss: I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

Last Kiss: How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something

Last Kiss: I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

Long Live: How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

Long Live: Tell them how the crowds went wild

Long Live: Tell them how I hope they shine

Superman: I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him

Superman: And you smile and say, “How are you?”

Castles Crumbling: I don’t know how it could’ve ended this way

Foolish One: You know how to keep me waiting, I know how to act like I’m fine

Foolish One: Saying, “How could I not see the signs?”

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Remember how that lasted for a day?

The Last Time: I’m not sure how I got there, all roads, they lead me here

Holy Ground: But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

Sad Beautiful Tragic: Words, how little they mean when you’re a little too late

The Lucky One: They still tell the legend of how you disappeared

The Lucky One: How you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out

Starlight: It was the best night, never would forget how we moved

Starlight: Ooh, ooh, we could get married, have ten kids and teach them how to dream

Begin Again: And you don’t know how nice that is, but I do

The Moment I Knew: People ask me how I’ve been as I comb back through my memory, how you said you’d be here

Come Back… Be Here: How strange that I don’t know you at all

Nothing New: How can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22?

Nothing New: How long will it be cute, all this crying in my room?

Nothing New: How did I go from growing up to breaking down?

Babe: You said, “No one else,” how could you do this, babe?

Babe: And it’s strange how your face doesn’t look so innocent

Babe: We said, “No one else,” how could you do this, babe?

Message In A Bottle: Look how you made me, made me

Message In A Bottle: How is it in London?

Forever Winter: He spends most of his nights wishing it was how it used to be

The Very First Night: They don’t know how much I miss you

The Very First Night: No one knows how much I miss you

The Very First Night: I’m the one on the phone as you whisper, “Do you know how much I miss you?”

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell

'1989 (Taylor's Version)'

Blank Space: I’m dying to see how this one ends

I Wish You Would: You always knew how to push my buttons

How You Get The Girl: And that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl

How You Get The Girl: Remind her how it used to be

How You Get The Girl: Tell her how you must have lost your mind

How You Get The Girl: And that’s how it works, that’s how you lost the girl

How You Get The Girl: Remind me how it used to be

How You Get The Girl: That’s how it works, that’s how you got the girl

Now That We Don’t Talk: Guess this is how it has to be now that we don’t talk

'reputation'

…Ready For It?: Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted

…Ready For It?: I-I-I see how this is gonna go

I Did Something Bad: This is how the world works, now all he thinks about is me

I Did Something Bad: This is how the world works, you gotta leave before you get left

Look What You Made Me Do: I don’t like your perfect crime, how you laugh when you lie

Dancing With Our Hands Ties: Oh, how were you to know?

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Oh, how was I to know?

'Lover'

I Forgot That You Existed: How many days did I spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong, wrong, wrong?

The Man: They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve

Cornelia Street: And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

False God: Remember how I said I’d die for you?

False God: Remember how I’d fly to you?

'folklore'

The Last Great American Dynasty: And the town said, “How did a middle-class divorcée do it?”

My Tears Ricochet: Look at how my tears ricochet

The Lakes: Is it romantic how all my elegies eulogize me?

'evermore'

Champagne Problems: How evergreen, our group of friends don’t think we’ll say that word again

‘Tis The Damn Season: I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave

No Body, No Crime: And I’ve cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

Coney Island: And if this is the long haul, how’d we get here so soon?

Ivy: How’s one to know?

Marjorie: I should’ve asked you how to be

Marjorie: All your closets of backlogged dreams and how you left them all to me

Right Where You Left Me: She’s still 23, inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be

It’s Time To Go: Or trying to stay for the kids when keeping it how it is will only break their hearts worse

'Midnights'

Maroon: “How’d we end up on the floor, anyway?”

Maroon: You say, “Your roommate’s cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that’s how”

Maroon: And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was

Maroon: How the hell did we lose sight of us again?

Vigilante Shit: I don’t start shit but I can tell you how it ends

Vigilante Shit: She don’t start shit but she can tell you how it ends

Labyrinth: You know how scared I am of elevators

Labyrinth: I thought the plane was going down, how’d you turn it right around?

Labyrinth: You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back

High Infidelity: Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

You’re Losing Me: How can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dying?

You’re Losing Me: How long could we be a sad song ‘til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

Other Songs written by Taylor

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: I wanna teach you how forever feels

Best Days Of Your Life: Wrapped me in your arms and how you told me I’d be the only one?

Christmases When You Were Mine: But there were Christmases when I didn’t wonder how you are tonight

Crazier: And I wanted to know how that would feel

If This Was A Movie: But I remember how it was back then

If This Was A Movie: Not before I knew how much I had to lose

Only The Young: Oh, how quickly they forget

Renegade: And if I would’ve known how many pieces you had crumbled into, I might’ve let them lay

Renegade: And if I would’ve known how sharp the pieces were you’d crumbled into, I might’ve let them lay

The Alcott: How many times will I do this and you’ll still believe?

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): How was I to know, it’s a crazy thing

Official Alternate Releases

Maroon (Clean Version): You say, “Your roommate’s cheapest screw-top rosé, that’s how”

Vigilante Shit (Clean Version): I don’t start it but I can tell you how it ends

Vigilante Shit (Clean Version): She don’t start it but she can tell you how it ends

[loosealcina]

ANTONÍN DVOŘÁK’S RUSALKA AT LA SCALA, JUNE 13, 2023

It’s been known for ages—I mean, since way before the pharaoh who built the Great Pyramid of Giza was even born—that essentially any stream/body of water will make an effective door between this world and the other one(s). (I believe I read it in Alan Moore’s Voice of the Fire maybe?). I’d say this iteration of Antonín Dvořák’s Rusalka—created by Emma Dante, back at La Scala with a new production some fourteen years after her dazzling season-opening Carmen—was specifically designed to focus on one of these doors. It was as though somebody had set up a camera trap in the darkest, most secluded place you can imagine, in front of a pond in the middle of a nameless forest, so we could see what’s going on—especially after dusk has fallen. Only, the wildlife we get to observe is much stranger than expected. It wouldn’t be easy to keep a record of everything: sorcerers, enchanted bipeds and quadrupeds, the accidental explorer, minor deities… But first and foremost, we get to observe a water nymph named Rusalka. Her home would lie behind that eerie door: deep down at the bottom of an obscure, aqueous kingdom. In fact, she’s the daughter of the water goblin himself, the venerable Vodník; but she refuses altogether to accept the life she seems to be in for. Hence she’s but a struggling, melancholic, somewhat injured creature. She’s in love with a human prince (their thing is already [kind of] on when the curtain goes up); yet that circumstance alone activates a lethal curse nobody will be able to lift or escape. (Besides, the presence of two conspicuous villainesses—Ježibaba [a witch], and the Foreign Princess—won’t help in the slightest). Now that a sweeping synopsis is done, I’ll proceed to state that this Rusalka experience as a whole was—I’m using a technical term here—genuinely rad. Emma Dante went with extreme, awe-inspiring simplicity. (Rusalka and the Prince’s final scene—their deathly kiss, their naked words, their endless, motionless embrace—would be an excellent example of that). She also went with lowbrow art (namely Ray Caesar, Nicoletta Ceccoli, and the like). To me, this retelling—whose sets/costumes/lights were conceived by Carmine Maringola/Vanessa Sannino/Cristian Zucaro—was all but explicitly located in that peculiar universe.

Other than paying homage to a handful of talented artists, that choice ended up filling every inch of the stage with a pensive, direful contrast between (A) an archetypal version of childhood and (B) a sizable package of unspeakable perils (both internal and external) that childhood is bound to face. (Not without a penchant for that creepy/spooky/gory touch here and there). The orchestra conducted by Tomáš Hanus appeared reluctant to stray from a narrow area between forte and mezzo forte. This lack of variety was probably the lone part of the night I’m likely to grumble about, but there were a number of delightful exceptions; while the great ball at the castle (Act II) came with its own array of musical tricks and spells (whose actual magic was effortlessly transformed by Sandro Maria Campagna’s choreography into a gloomy dream within a dream), Rusalka’s Act I Song to the Moon—only magnificent—made me think that if, say, Clara Schumann, Emily Brontë, and Leonard Cohen somehow teamed up to pen a Song to the Moon together, the result would be drifting through the night in a very similar way. As for the cast. Out of the many assets of this brilliant operatic ride, one of my favorites was this: each and every character, either bigger or smaller (plus airborne, submerged, terrestrial, etc.) managed to come off as a complex, occasionally enigmatic, ultimately interesting individual. All the actors/singers did a spectacular job, but my listening heart was positively conquered by Olga Bezsmertna’s take on the role of Rusalka. I’m sure you remember the unceasing clash (A) vs. (B) I’ve mentioned a short while ago; now I promise, that very clash was entirely encompassed—ignited, boosted, boosted again, and eventually wiped out—by her voice. I’d call it a shape-shifting act. Her timbre mostly gravitated toward the gentle, unripe quality you’d associate with utter innocence and vulnerability and then, all of a sudden, an explosive rise capped with a shadowy, threatening high note would turn her persona into a fearsome nonhuman tragédienne (still in love [and hurting as well], but fearsome nevertheless). In case you’re interested in matching up the atmosphere of this fairy tale with a nice read, you can do what I’m currently doing and spend some time in the company of Sally Gardner and David Roberts’s Tinder (2013).

[oneyeartoparty]

The Brothers react to an MC revealing they have a chronic illness

This is based off of my own experiences with my chronic illness. I hope it brings you all joy. Have an awesome day!

Lucifer

Already knows about your chronic illness because it was in the dossier he received on you for the exchange program.

At first, he checks in on you and makes sure you have everything you need. He asks you to update him when you need anything resupplied and will ensure you have access to any medical services you may need.

When you start to grow closer, he becomes far more attentive. His check-ins focus much more on how you’re doing and if he can help in any way more than just a checklist he got from Diavolo. He asks many questions and gets to know how your illness affects you and how he can best help.

If you ever need to go to the doctor, he’ll offer to accompany you, and will shift around his schedule so that he’s available, no matter how late notice it is. If you ask he’ll come to see the doctor with you, and if not, he’ll wait in the waiting room until your done. He’ll also takes you for a special treat after every appointment, or have a present waiting for you when you both arrive back at the House of Lamentation.

If there has been some bad news or you’re having a bad day, he’ll lavish you with love and attention until you feel better. He buys numerous different teas for you to try and makes you your preferred flavours when you’re unwell.

It’s not an uncommon sight for you to wake up to Lucifer doing his work in your room so he can watch over you. Doing this helps keep him reassured your ok and that someone is there if you need help.

Mammon

Lucifer told him about your chronic illness when he was assigned to look after you. He didn’t consider it at first; after all, he didn’t want to be looking after you in the first place.

This quickly changes as he becomes attached to you. If anyone will keep an eye on you and make sure you’re doing ok, it’ll be him. After all, he is your first, and no one can look after his human better than him.

He asks you about your chronic illness and how it affects you. He wants to learn as much as possible so he can always be there to help.

If you’re having a bad day, he turns into a mother hen. He watches over you the entire day, getting you anything you need (and a few things he thinks you’ll need or will make you feel better).

He also grows concerned when you aren’t doing the best, but he tries to hide it because he doesn’t want to upset you. But he sometimes needs cuddles, so he’ll cuddle up to you with the excuse of doing it to make you feel better. If you can’t do cuddles, he’ll stroke the top of your head or sit as close as he can to you and tell you fun stories or discuss the latest happenings in the Devildom.

He set up a small space in your room for his things so he can sleep in your room if you need someone there. He has a similar area for you in his room, should you need to or want to stay the night.

Leviathan

When you tell Levi, it doesn’t change his opinion of you at all. You’ve been there for him through so much, and he will be there for you no matter what. He knows he’s not the best with words; he gets nervous and struggles to get out what he wants to say. So, he decides to show you how much he cares with actions.

He does a lot of research online about your chronic illness. He talks to those suffering from the same illness and learns how to help you when you need it.

You always find little things from Levi. A note with a joke from an anime he’s been watching, a video game character plushie tucked into your bed for you to snuggle with, or something from Akuzon you’ve talked about buying. No matter how bad things get, Levi will find a way to cheer you up.

On your bad days, he moves into your room, or have you move into his. That way he’s there if you need him and he can spend time with you playing games, watching anime or simply laying together on your phones.

He sets up a gaming and entertainment space in your room for you. It has everything the two of you will need, from the latest gaming consoles to a DVD player so you can watch that super limited version of I was a wizard who accidentally turned myself into a goose, and now I have to save the kingdom by stealing a bell from the top of the evil queen’s castle that was only released on DVD.

He’ll also go to your room so you can do online classes together should you need to stay at the House of Lamentation.  Of course, this often leads to an impromptu gaming session or anime marathon rather than any work getting done, but the scolding from Lucifer is well worth it.

Satan

Satan immediately begins research into your chronic illness once you tell him. To him, knowledge is power, and knowing everything he can about your chronic illness is the best way to be there for you should you need him.

He’ll get as many books and papers as he can on your condition and keep himself up-to-date with the latest research. He keeps you updated on any developments, so you’re well informed about your condition.

Also keeps track of how your doing and makes a note of anything that arises. You joke that he’s your demon doctor with how much he knows about your illness.

He’ll smuggle in cats into the House of Lamentation to cheer you up. He secretly constructs a series of ramps up the side of the House leading to your room, so the cats have safe and easy access whenever you need some comfort. This leads to him spending a lot more time in your room with you and the ever-increasing number of cats.

If you’re having a bad day, he comes to your room with a stack of books and lets you pick one for him to read to you. He’ll keep a mental note of your favourites and bring similar books in the future. If you’re already reading something, he’ll read that for you instead.

To help you sleep, he’ll hum his favourite songs to you. He has an incredibly soothing hum that can relax and put anyone to sleep, whether human, cat or demon. If you’re ok with it, he’ll softly stroke the top of your head or the side of your arm as he hums.

If you can’t go to RAD, he’ll take notes for all the classes you miss and get any homework that’s handed out. Of course, Satan will be there to help you with any schoolwork you struggle with.

Asmodeus

When you first tell him, Asmo is shocked. You’ve always been so confident and strong around them and knowing you’ve been dealing with a chronic illness this whole time on top of everything that’s happened in the Devildom so far is a surprise

He respects and adores you even more now, and is incredibly grateful for all you’ve done for them, despite your struggles.

He reassures you’ll always be beautiful to him, no matter what. He also promises to go all out to show you how much he cares.

Can’t wear certain types of clothing or need special clothes made? No problem! He’ll make whatever you need. It’ll be made from the highest quality material and be in the latest style. He loves watching you try on everything he makes and adjusts it based on your feedback.

He has no issues cancelling a night out if you need him. There is no party or event in all the three realms more important to him than being there for you.

If you’re not doing well, Asmo will be ready to pamper you with a spa day. He’ll prepare a bath surrounded by candles and with your favourite scents in the water. With your permission, he’ll wash your hair with your favourite products, all while telling you about his latest Devildom gossip, his latest work at Majolish or his next photoshoot.

After the bath, its time for every treatment he can think of. A facial, manicure, pedicure and body massage are all on the table. He understands if you can’t or aren’t able to do certain treatments. He’ll find a way to show you how much he adores you, even if that’s just showering you with compliments.

Beelzebub

Beel is the most anxious of the brothers. He knows you’re not as strong as them, and knowing you have a chronic illness hammers that fact down for him.

You’re important to him, and he doesn’t like that you’re not always 100%. He wants to protect you and keep you safe but feels like he can’t. He struggles with this feeling at first but decides he’ll do his best to be there for you and protect you in every way he can.

If you have a special diet you need to follow or can’t eat certain foods, he’ll create a meal plan for you and make sure that there is enough food there you can eat whenever groceries are done.

He’ll also learn recipes that fit your dietary requirements. He doesn’t know much about cooking, and he struggles to finish without eating the ingredients, but he tries his hardest to make something for you. He ends up bringing in Belphie to help stop him from eating everything.

He does the same with a workout plan. He creates one that fits your needs and pace and stays with you, keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re not overwhelmed and giving you compliments on how well you’re doing.

Beel loves using tickles and hugs to cheer you up. Being engulfed in a massive hug from Beel or getting into a tickle war with him are always known to bring a smile to your face.

Also keeps a closer eye on the other demons. Humans are considered weak already, but because of your chronic illness, they may think you’re much easy target. Beel is there to remind them you have someone watching over you if any demons get any ideas.

Belphegor

He brushes it off as no big deal but is secretly almost as worried as Beel. Once you tell him, you notice him keeping a closer eye on you, especially when you’re out of the House of Lamentation. If you’re illness starts affecting you, Belphie will be by your side to check on you.

He slowly asks questions about your illness and its effect on you over time. Often when you settle down to nap, he’ll ask a question or two. He never falls asleep while you’re talking, and will be attentive the entire time.

If you need help getting to sleep, Belphie will be there with a quick text. He is open to snuggling you or being snuggled, whatever makes your sleep more peaceful.

He buys and tests a bunch of different blankets, pillows and bedsheets so you can get the best for when you need sleep. He is determined that your rest will be the best it can be.

He also lends you his pillow whenever you need it. This shocks his brothers at first because they know how much Belphie relies on his pillow when the urge to nap arises.

Even if you’ve had a horrible day, your dreams will be wonderful. Really into a new book or manga? You’re now the protagonist and get to explore the world at your leisure with him at your side. Are you missing the human world? Now you’re there, and it looks picture perfect. Whatever dream you want Belphie will meticulously make for you.

Secretly sets up a napping room full of only the comfiest blankets and pillows at RAD so the two of you can skip class and nap if you ever feel the need to rest.

[erazonpo3]

WOWM

so What Once Was Mine came out and I read it.

My General Thoughts are that this book was something of a rollercoaster but in like a pop up carnival with dubious safety regulations and diseases in the DIY log flume water kind of way. I had some fun reading it but I also feel like I picked up a rash.

If you're like me and you enjoy picking a book apart for morsels of interesting concepts then you might enjoy it, if you think holy shit why the fuck is a literal real historical serial killer in this book I need to see this then you might enjoy it, if you care about engaging plots and character beats then you probably won't.

If you want to ask me anything specific go ahead, but otherwise for more in depth thoughts: spoilers ahead

Basic Summary of the Plot

Okay so here's the deal. The story has the framing device of two siblings in a cancer ward, where one tells the other a story. I'll get into that later, but that's how it starts. Our actual story starts with a pretty long prologue: We learn that the King & Queen got the Moonflower thinking it was the Sunflower, Rapunzel was born with silver hair, and then baby Rapunzel kills a maid who accidentally hurt her when brushing her hair.

Oh, by the way, Max is a human man named Justin Tregsburg. Yeah.

Anyway, the royal family puts out feelers for legit witches who can safely take care of Rapunzel because the baby is too dangerous, and Gothel shows up to take her away. Queen Arianna visits Rapunzel once (but is only allowed to watch through a peephole) and decides watching another woman raise her child is too painful and throws herself into restoring the kingdom's orphanages instead.

Now we're in the present. Rapunzel is nineteen and she wants to go and see the lanterns (a mourning tradition of the Dead princess in this story). She tries to argue with Gothel but gets shut down, and Gothel makes her kill a chicken to prove the point that she can't go outside because she's too dangerous. However we as the audience already know Gothel plans to sell Rapunzel off as a bride or a servant or a weapon to some other nobles, because she's evil.

Also by the way Gothel still has access to our Sundrop Flower and is using it to live forever that's just a thing that happens in the background.

When Gothel is gone Rapunzel watches as a man (Flynn) stores a satchel in a tree outside of her tower, and that motivates her to leave the tower for the first time. Then she goes back inside the tower with her prize of a crown, and a skink she found and named Pascal. Rapunezl and Gothel have another spat, and Rapunzel decides she will run off to see the lanterns and she will find Flynn and make him her guide.

She ends up at the Snuggly Duckling and she doesn't find Flynn but she does find Gina, a young career criminal girl looking to break the glass ceiling. Gina agrees to help her find Flynn. They find Flynn, and he agrees to help guide Rapunzel to see the floating lanterns for a split reward of the crown with Gina.

The Snuggly Duckling gets burned down by Countess Bathory (yes that Elizabeth Bathory) and the Pub Thugs are pissed about it and also they're helping Rapunzel even though she didn't sing the I've Got A Dream song don't worry about it. We learn that the nobles that wanted to buy Rapunzel are now hunting her down so she can go to auction.

Gina takes them to her adopted mother's cottage. Gina's mother is a white witch, who goes by the name of Goodwife. She doesn't get an actual name she's just The Goodwife. Anyhow, the cottage is a magic safe space (for now) and Goodwife teaches Rapunzel that her hair isn't inherently evil and may not even be all that deadly! Rapunzel learns that her hair has other powers too, like the ability to turn skink Pascal into a sentient Chameleon. Yeah.

Also Goodwife tells Rapunzel she's the dead princess but this isn't like, an immediate call to action. Not a lot happens until we get this story's version of the Mother Knows Best Reprise where Gothel finds Rapunzel again but has to flee, but this Rapunzel has a bigger support network and isn't buying it. Flynn and Gina decide the safest course of action is to bring Rapunzel to the castle, but along the way she gets kidnapped by the Countess.

Gothel is pissed because she still wants the money for Rapunzel, so she rallies the armies of all the opposing bidders. Flynn and Gina convince Max the Man to send for his troops, and he joins them in going to the enemy castle. Flynn tries to sneak in, gets caught, and meanwhile there's a bloody battle out the front between the noble armies. Max jumps into the fray, Gina turns around and rallies the Pub Thugs.

Rapunzel uses her shrinking magic (!) to disappear half the castle and escape with Eugene, and the Pub Thugs arrive and basically end the battle. The Captain is dying but it's okay! Rapunzel turns him into a horse :) Also Rapunzel sees Gothel and tells her to fuck off.

The story ends with a tearful reunion between Rapunzel and her parents, Eugene and Gina are implied to be biological siblings, and things are good but of course in direct parallel to Cass Gina leaves at the end to become an adventurer. The end.

(There are a few other smaller plot beats, but you get the idea.)

MY THOTS

So here are my thoughts™.

Framing Device

I'll just state that I didn't like that the story was told via the vehicle of an older brother telling his 16 year old sister a different version of the Tangled Movie in a cancer ward. From what I've heard it also isn't normal for the Twisted Tales series to use a framing device for the AUs either.

I sympathise with the author's personal story, of course I do. That doesn't mean I'm stirred with compassion every time the flow of the story is interrupted to remind you to be sad because this is a story being told to a girl sick with cancer. It feels more than a little tragedy-porny rather than emotionally touching, and maybe that's because I'm too burnt out on real life tragedy to waste emotional energy on fictional cancer patients but we don't need to do Fault In Our Stars discourse again.

Real World References

This story goes heavy with Real World references. And another issue with the framing device as above is that you do feel like this is a story being told by someone namedropping every historical figure they know which makes it harder to get into the story.

There's like... a lot of references to Christianity, particularly in the prologue. There's a priest that thinks Rapunzel's hair is the work of the Devil or whatever. It's a lot. The Patriarchy is a thing. And that's not even getting into the Countess. I put it very succinctly in my notes so I'll paste it here:

I wish she’d just been an OC who could exist to chew scenery because the fact that she was a literal historical serial killer is super. Off putting. Like, she could have been an obvious reference to Bathory, but it feels like Miku Binder Hamilton levels of uncomfortable to me.

I miss Lady D.

Which basically sums up my problem with trying to take the setting of Tangled and put it somewhere in the Real World and somewhere on the Timeline. Who thought this was a good idea.

Misc. Thoughts

So, I used the five highlighter colours my ipad allows to organise my thoughts and organised them accordingly: Yellow for out of place IRL references, Blue for worldbuilding/character points that aren't plot relevant but still interesting, Pink for when something I find personally amusing happens, Purple for when the story feels like it's trying to 1-up the movie in some kind of way and Green for Heterosexual Nonsense. I'll touch on those last two in the Character sections but be prepared.

Also: for a book about giving Rapunzel killer hair, her hair isn't very dangerous. I wanted to see Rapunzel kill someone, and I'm disappointed that I didn't.

Characters

I'll do a deep dive into my thoughts about the characters before wrapping it up. I'm starting with Gina because she's honestly the easiest to get through.

Gina

Gina is a new character introduced for the story. She's a young woman trying to make it as a career criminal but keeps hitting that glass ceiling. So here's the down low, for all those who want to know: Gina is basically Cass, only not really. She's implied to be Eugene's biological sister, as previously mentioned, but you can imagine she's Cass the entire way through without breaking your immersion because if you imagined Cass if she were adopted by a Goodwitch rather than the Captain and had a looser, more wilderness survivor than trainee guard upbringing then you get Gina.

I liked Gina! I think she's fun as her own character too, and her best moments are when she's interacting with her mother Goody Goodwife, and she of course picks up a natural sibling rivalry with Eugene, but I was disappointed with how little she really bonded with Rapunzel because she needed to make room for Eugene and Rapunzel's romance.

Rapunzel

Okay, here's our protagonist. There's a notable effort to make Rapunzel more active in her destiny and whatever, and sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't. I was worried they'd try to go full butt-kicking girlboss with her but I was pleasantly surprised that Rapunzel was pretty useless in most scenes, genuinely love to see it.

With a more intimate look into Rapunzel's psyche through the medium of prose, we see Rapunzel really questioning Gothel's behaviour even before she leaves the tower, and while I appreciate that she can develop her own cynicism I feel it starts unnecessarily early. This is my purple colour; the movie needs to be "fixed" by showing the readers that this Rapunzel is quicker to distrust Gothel. She's also quicker to hatch a plan to go outside of the tower on her own, and she makes a plan to make Flynn her guide for the lanterns even though he never stumbles upon her in the tower- and even though she has a perfectly rational reason not to trust him which is that he is a stranger and a Wanted Thief.

In the moments where it does work is when Rapunzel is surrounded by her new support network: Flynn, Goodwife and Gina, who encourage her to question Gothel's sincerity, and Rapunzel comes up with her own defences for Gothel so that she can poke through them herself.

I have some other thoughts about Rapunzel's hair and her powers, like how the story provides the interesting concept that her hair gets different powers with the different phases of the moon, but a lot of the powers are uhhh stupid and also I feel like it really robs the story of the whole gripping conflict of "Yes I'm Rapunzel Yes my hair kills people what of it".

In as far as just Rapunzel herself though, she still felt pretty in character nonetheless, and maybe that's all I can ask.

Flynn Rider / Eugene Fitzherbert

My boy I am so sorry. They neutered my boy.

Long story short: Eugene in this story is the sexy lamp. He contributes nothing to the plot except to be there for Rapunzel to drool over. And of course because he won't get any character development, he starts from the very beginning as a sweet soft boi with none of the Flynn Rider characterisation from the movie because we don't have time for that, he needs to be husband material stat.

His whole character is the colour green for Heterosexual Nonsense.

So, here's the problem. In the movie, there's not a lot of time for ~friendship~ between Rapunzel and Eugene because they kind of immediately see each other as a romantic prospect. And whatever, it's a movie and there's only so much time. But this book had the opportunity to take things a bit slower and instead chooses to make Rapunzel get jealous whenever Eugene and Gina interact and for her to be constantly wishing he was holding her hand.

Say what you will about Lost Lagoon, but it tells a good romance story just by virtue of not intending to be a romance story, because the author is trying to convey a strong bond between Rapunzel and Cassandra without using "and they kiss" as a cheatcode. What Once Was Mine says "he was a boy, she was a girl, could it be any more obvious?" and leaves it at that.

Now as for how this all pertains to Eugene's character? Well, it just robs him of any flavour. In the movie there's a clear distinction between Flynn and Eugene, when we learn Eugene's real name about halfway through. We see a clear difference between the Flynn we knew- kind of an asshole, wanated to drop Rapunzel off at the Snuggly Duckling and get rid of her- and Eugene, who is sincere and chooses Rapunzel as his New Dream in opposition to his Old Dream of living alone on an island with a bunch of money.

This version of Eugene is basically Eugene all the way through, because the plot doesn't really need Eugene there but he has to be there because it's a Tangled AU so there's no Rapunzel rescuing Flynn from the guards and healing his hand scene, he just loves her immediately and that's that. They have a little spat at one point but it's cleared up later and not because they actually communicate but because they kiss.

Rapunzel only learns Eugene's real name at the very end of the story, and gives a speech about how Eugene is the real him, but it's just so flat because 'Flynn' has been sincere this whole time? Anyway he does nothing of value for the entire story except be there for Rapunzel to lust after. Eugene I'm so sorry.

Gothel

Gothel's sort of the Big Bad and is characterised as an abusive asshole, the usual. I wish there were a bit more nuance to her character but then again in this story she's not just being passively evil- taking care of Rapunzel for selfish reasons but nevertheless maintaining the status quo- she's being actively evil in trying to sell Rapunzel off.

It's notably funny that Gothel sees the Countess Bathory and is like "what the fuck".

Anyway Gothel in this story also feels very weak in part because this Rapunzel is more critical and in part because this Rapunzel has a new support network. It's for that reason the Mother Knows Best Reprise scene doesn't really work, because the original has Gothel pit Rapunzel against Eugene, whereas she can't do that here so it remains a Gothel vs Rapunzel thing.

She gets a boring death as an epilogue addendum that someone rips out the Sundrop flower, which tbh? lame. It would be a lot more fun if it were open ended but I am also preferential to Rapunzel actually using her killer hair to kill someone. Please

Captain Justin Tregsburg

It's Max. He was a human but then he got turned into a horse. what the fuck you guys

[scoobysnack1107]

So grateful I was able to commission the incredible @rainbow-taishi again for another gorgeous RokuNami piece! As always, Jin did an absolutely amazing job! The colors and atmosphere are warm, the expressions soft, and the detailing exquisite 🥺💞 Thank you again Jin for making making my day and bringing a huge smile to my face 💖

For anyone interested, I wrote an accompanying story!

You can read it below or on ao3: Un Rendez-vous Romantique

(special thank you to @jysumrae for using her French skills to help me with the title 💖 )

                                       Un Rendez-vous Romantique

 Naminé checked the time on her gummi phone again. Five minutes before seven o’clock. Five minutes before Roxas was supposed to arrive at the bistro for their date. Their first date she reminded herself.

    All around her, tables were filled with laughing couples sharing colorful concoctions that were placed onto tables by waiters dressed in well-tailored suits. Naminé, dressed in her signature white dress and blue sandals, was the only one sitting alone.

    She couldn’t help but wonder how seriously he had taken the idea. He had been the one that asked her out with that boyish grin she was powerless to resist. But this was the first time they would be together like this. Unencumbered by heartless, the Organization, Diz. Tonight, it was just the two of them in the most romantic place in town.

    Unless…he stood her up.

    Naminé’s heart sunk, and as the people milling by the bistro cast her curious looks, she started feeling more and more self-conscious. Did they think he wasn’t coming?

    “Don’t worry, Naminé. Trust me, he’ll come.”

    Startled, Naminé looked up and found Sora offering her a comforting grin. He was dressed in a white chef’s uniform and tall toque that somehow managed to stay atop his spiky head of hair. In his hands, he was carrying a large, unopened box decorated with golden fleur de lis and something scribbled on top in black marker.

    “Sora? Why are you—” she trailed off, suddenly remembering that her friend had become an occasional helping hand at the restaurant during his travels. Though, admittedly, it was strange to think of Sora as a chef in a high-end bistro like this. “Thank you. I guess I’m just a little nervous.”

    In the distance, the bell of the clock tower tolled, signaling the passing of another hour. Seven o’clock.

    Sora had to be right.

    “Excuse me! Coming through!”

    Outside the bistro, some kind of commotion had started. The tram stopping in its track as a boy riding a black and white skateboard came racing through. A flock of pigeons wandering the bistro’s checkered plaza dispersed in a flurry of feathers, and one of the waiters nearly dropped a plate of ratatouille before said boy arrived in front of Naminé’s table with an apologetic smile.

    “I am so sorry, Naminé,” Roxas said, finally catching his breath, “I promise I didn’t forget. Really. I got caught up delivering letters again because Lea ‘sprained’ his ankle and couldn’t finish his half.” Roxas shook his head. Of all the days Lea felt it necessary to fake an injury.

    Naminé couldn’t help herself. She laughed, and the anxiety that had been chipping away at her nerves dissipated with the sound. “It’s fine, Roxas. I’m glad you were able to make it. I can’t say I expected that kind of entrance though.” Another laugh slipped past her lips when she noticed a stray feather in his hair.

    Roxas scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I can’t say I really planned it that way.”

    Plucking the feather from the skater’s head unceremoniously, Sora handed his friend the box he was holding. “Well, now that you’re finally here, I’d say it’s time for you two love birds to enjoy your date with a little Tarte aux Fruits, courtesy of Little Chef and I!” Sora patted his toque affectionately, prompting a tiny gray mouse to peek out from beneath the hat before scurrying back inside with a squeak. “He’s a little shy,” Sora whispered.

    “He’s cute,” Naminé cooed.

    Roxas flipped open the lid of the box to examine the dessert. Inside the box was a round and colorful tart decorated with fresh strawberries, blueberries, kiwis, and peaches. “Sora, you know it’s just the two of us, right?” Usually, the bistro only served the desserts by slices. Not entire tartlets like this.

    Sora pushed the lid back down and pointed to the writing on top.

      Enjoy your date!

      - Sora and Little Chef

    “Yep! But you’re my friends and Little Chef insisted. It’s not like you can’t take the leftovers home. I’m sure Lea and Xion would eat a few slices for you.”

    Curious, Naminé stood up to peer inside the box too. Sora really was too sweet.  Everything about the dessert was handled with care, with each fruit arranged so precisely, Naminé could only imagine how long her friend had spent perfecting the delectable concoction. “Thank you, Sora. This is perfect, but you know, we’ll be saving you and Little Chef a slice too. It wouldn’t feel right for our chefs not to taste their own creation.”

    “Heh, guess not,” Sora agreed, scratching his cheek.

    “You can drop by the Old Mansion after work if you’d like,” Naminé suggested, “No one goes to bed early anyway, since it’s summer vacation.”

    “Yeah, and plus, you still owe me a rematch on Classic Kingdom Melee,” Roxas said with a competitive glint in his blue eyes.

    Sora chuckled and laced his hands behind his head. “So eager to get your butt handed to you again?”

    “I have Naminé’s good luck charm this time,” Roxas said confidently, “So, there’s no way I’m gonna lose again.”

    “We’ll see,” Sora said in a sing-song voice. The two boys jibed one another for another minute until Sora was called back into the kitchen by a short, portly chef with a silver whisk and a toque taller than him.

    Roxas set the box with the tart on the table and moved to pull Naminé’s chair out for her with a flourish. “Madame.”

    “How gentlemanly,” Naminé giggled as she took her seat.

   Taking the chair across from her, Roxas signaled over one of the waiters who promptly brought them two plates and utensils to slice their dessert. Naminé, her hands small and adept, cut them each a generous piece.

    The window behind them cast a warm golden glow and was embossed with the bistro’s name, Le Grand Bistrot, in neat gold lettering. Inside, the restaurant’s staff busied themselves, the sound of clattering dishes and whirring kitchen appliances blending with the soft instrumental tune floating from the speakers outside.

    Naminé spoke again first. “So, you and Hayner are entering the Struggle Tournament this year?”

    “We’re gonna win this year” Roxas boasted with a grin. He picked up his dessert but didn’t take a bite as sparks of excitement began to dance in his eyes. “We’ve been training every day since sign ups.”

    “Confident I see,” Naminé teased.

    “Always,” Roxas returned, his grin turning sly, “And besides, I’ve won the digital version once already. The real thing can’t be any harder.”

    Naminé conceded with a smile. “That is true.”

    As Roxas explained his new strategy for this year’s tournament, Naminé listened attentively, offering nods and questions at different intervals as she nibbled at her dessert. She liked seeing him so excited. After everything they had been through, happiness like this was well-deserved.

    “Promise to cheer me on?” Roxas asked. His gaze was intense now, making Naminé’s heart skip a beat.

    Naminé averted his eyes, playing with her hair as she answered shyly. “I’ll be in the front row the entire time.”

    “U-Uh, thanks” Roxas blushed at her words and drew his own gaze away. “But um…anyway,” Roxas coughed, “How about you? You mentioned buying some new paints the other day. Have you been able to try them out yet?”

    This time, it was Naminé’s face that lit up. She pressed her fingers together and tilted her head happily. “I have! I’ve been painting lots of landscapes with them, and I want to try portraits too.”

    “Is this your subtle way of asking me to be your model?” Roxas joked.

    “Mmm, maybe. Though, I’m not entirely sure you’d be able to stay still the entire time.”

    Roxas raised his eyebrows. “That sounds like a challenge.”

    “You really think you can sit still for more than an hour?” Naminé asked dubiously.

    “With the right kind of incentive.”

    Without hesitating, Naminé replied. “Sea salt ice cream?”

    “Bingo,” Roxas said and bit into his slice of the tart.

    Naminé didn’t try to conceal her laughter. Roxas really was predictable. And adorable.  “I think I can arrange that.”

    “Then, we have ourselves a deal!” Roxas held out a hand across the table, and Naminé shook it as if it was actually some kind of serious, contractual agreement.

    The two continued to talk, reminiscing over the new memories they had made in the real Twilight Town. Like the first time they had all gone to Sunset Hill for a meteor shower or when they took that impromptu trip to Radiant Garden because somehow Twilight Town had run out of sea salt ice cream. Granted, it had been a particularly hot day. But still…

    “I feel like summer vacation is too short,” Roxas complained, “and who thought it was a good idea to assign homework? We’re supposed to be on a break.”

    Naminé’s lips twitched knowingly. “You still haven’t started, have you?”

    “I tried, but the computer keeps crashing on me, so I can’t do any kind of research,” Roxas explained, pouting as he crossed his arms.

    “You and computers,” Naminé sighed, shaking her head, “What are you writing your report on?”

    “Not sure yet. Hayner, Pence, and Olette want to do something about the seven wonders, but that’s a little too déjà vu for me, you know?”

    Naminé tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, maybe you can do a report about the beach?”

    “The beach?” Roxas cocked his head curiously.

    “Yeah, like what kind of fish are in the ocean here or ways to keep our beaches clean,” Naminé continued. Roxas loved the beach. The first time they went, Roxas nearly tripped over himself running across the sand to get to the water, and he didn’t come out until it was time to leave.

    “Looks like we’re going to the beach this week then, huh?” Roxas asked with a coy grin.

    Naminé returned the smile.  “Looks like it.”

    By the time they were ready to leave, with their leftovers secured in a to-go bag, the last embers of the twilight sky above had faded, blanketing the sunset hues beneath a veil of stars. The night air was still, the bustle of the usually busy town subdued as most citizens retired to their homes to sleep.

    “I had a lot of fun tonight,” Naminé said, staring down at her feet bashfully.

    “Me too.” There was a brief silence that hung between them before Roxas added in a hesitant but hopeful voice. “Maybe we can do it again sometime?”

    “I would love that,” Naminé answered softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

    “Y-You know, there’s gonna be that new movie playing down at the theater this Friday. We could grab dinner here and then go see that?”

    “It’s a date!” Naminé agreed happily, and her heart soared.

    Roxas took her hand and intertwined their fingers. “It’s a date.”

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Can’t Stand It

For @ho-ne-ye.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stan was having a bad day. Well, a bad week. Scratch that, a bad month.

It was March, a beautiful time out in the Arctic. For several weeks the Stan twins hardly ever saw the sun or didn’t see it at all. Closer to the holidays they traveled down south to Northern Europe, exploring the United Kingdom and the Northern Islands in order to enjoy daylight, but now that Summer was approaching and Spring was on their side, the Stan O’ War II was moving up to sail above Canada, breaking melting ice and meeting new creatures.

Today they had stumbled across an island covered in woods. The twins had docked to enjoy stable land, but of course it didn’t take long for them to stumble into trouble when they explored the island. Something about trespassing, Stan may or may not have been magically transformed into a small and cute version of himself, but then turned back to normal by a knocked-over potion. It was all a blur, and it all ended with Stan and Ford being tied together hanging over a raging fire as the clan of seal-people with war paint danced around them and singing a weird song.

Enough was enough. With a knife slipped out of a boot and a few left and right hooks, Ford and Stan managed to get away, now being chased by the angry clan and flying arrows. Stan dove on top of Ford to shield his brother from an arrow and they both scurried to their feet and ran deeper into the woods, heading for the beach, but their path was blocked by a giant monster, a half-spider, half-scorpion kind of creature with eight legs, pinchers, a sharp tail, four red eyes, and an angry kiss as it’s hairs vibrated.

Ford shot at it with his ray gun and that only made it angry. It dove for the six-fingered scientist, but Stan shoved him out of the way and soon Stan was thrown back to a tree and made very little attempts to get back up.

“STANLEY!” Ford cried out and shot at the monster again, this time hitting it in the eye. Temporarily blinded and distracted, Ford was about to grab a nearby spear thrown by a villager, pierce the monster, and leave it to bleed to death as he ran to his brother and knelt in front of him. “Stanley! Stanley, can you hear me? Are you hurt?”

“M’fine, m’fine,” The old sailor mumbled as he blinked a few times. “Just lemme catch my breath…”

Ford noticed how he had a hand to his side. He gently prided it away and was horrified to find blood. The monster must have pierced Stan. In one swift motion the eldest by fifteen minutes scooped Stan up and began to carry him to the shore. “You’ll be okay. I’ll fix you up, I can fix this.”

His brother grunted in response, his hands loosely over his wound, but Stan was losing his strength. Ford then noticed a bead of blood dripping down the back of Stan’s neck; he must have also hit his head perfectly on the tree. Ford swallowed, making his Adam’s apple bobble, and he firmly instructed, “Stay with me, Stanley. Don’t go to sleep. You might have a concussion.”

“M’tired.” He muttered in his twin’s chest. They were close, so close to home. Ford’s boots crushed the sand beneath them.

“Stanley Pines, stay with me!” Ford shouted, ignoring the way his brown eyes stung.

“Why should I?”

Ford’s heart threatened to stop. Stan’s voice had been so quiet that he had nearly missed it, but the old scientist heard every word. The wounds didn’t look that bad, Stan would be fine, he was too tough to be taken down by some pathetic monster like that, but the fact that Stan was even considering…

“Wh-Why?!” Ford repeated, mortified by his brother’s delusional question. “Why?! Because I need you! Don’t you dare think about giving up on me, Stanley, don’t you dare! C-Come on, d-d-don’t you wanna see Dipper and Mabel again? Don’t you wanna see Soos marry that Melody girl?”

Stan’s breathing was shallow against his twin’s blue jacket. “You’d be better off…”

“NO!” Ford screamed as he saw the boat farther along the beach. He broke into a faster run. “No, we wouldn’t! I swear! Stay with me, we’re almost there!”

But Stan wasn’t answering. He was very quiet. And a bit limp in Ford’s hold.

“Stanley?! Stanley! Lee! Lee, don’t you dare give up! Don’t you dare leave me, please! I… I can’t do it!” He shut his eyes at the thought and let tears flow down his cheeks as he climbed up onto the Stan O’ War II. “I can’t lose you again. Please, don’t make me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t fair.

Stan should be perfectly fine, he should be happy. He got his brother back, he had a real family for the first time in forty years, he was living out his dream with his best friend. He wasn’t alien to feeling this cruddy about himself, but at least back then he had something to work towards, something to keep him going, and something to distract him from the voices in his head. But now his thoughts were more apparent now more than ever before and they wouldn’t go away.

The fact remained that everyone would be better off without Stan. He was a mistake, the screw-up, a criminal, a con-artist, a dirty sailor, a worthless heap of flesh. No one really wanted him around, and the people who did would soon get sick of him. Dipper and Mabel called them less and less (which to be fair they have been very busy with exams on the way). And even if it was Ford’s idea to go sailing, how long would it be before he changed his mind? Or had he really meant what he said? Or had he only said what he said because he felt guilty?

No. There was no changing the old man’s mind. Everyone would be better off without him.

He walked down the dock with his hands in the pocket of his brown trenchcoat, his boots clicking against the wood gently. It was bright and shiny and beautiful without it hurting his eyes or requiring sunglasses over his regular glasses. The sun glistened on the water and a soft breeze made him comfortable. The only odd thing was that there was only one boat.

A small boat, actually. It had a sail, like their dream boat as kids, with a cabin down in the bunkers. It was plain and clean and new, with a golden pole and rims on the windows. On it sat a young lady, about early-twenties, with short blonde hair. She was odd, wearing a white Hawaiian shirt with golden palm leaves, white shorts, and had a golden watch on her wrist as she filed her nails, reminding Stan of a secretary from high school. This girl was sitting on the boat with her legs crossed, sporting white sneakers, and hummed a familiar tune, though Stan couldn’t pinpoint it.

The girl glanced up at him, put her eyes back on her work, and called, “You coming?”

Stan shrugged, his hands still in his pockets. “Depends. Where you going, sweetie?”

“Well I’m hoping to grant a handsome sailor his wish, but it’s whatever.” The woman said as she held up her hand to look at her nails boringly.

Stan smiled cockily. “Oh yeah, how so?”

“You think everyone would be better off without you, right?” The woman stood and gestured to her boat. “Wanna see for yourself?”

Stan blinked. Okay this was weird. Was he on TV? He shook his head like a wet dog and scratched next to his red beanie. “Uh… ‘cuse me?”

“You heard me. Wanna see if you’re right?”

“How are you gonna show me if I’m right or not?” Stan asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

The woman sighed as she glanced at her watch. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time, so here’s how it’s gonna go. I’m gonna go sailing to a timeline in which you were never born. Ford never had a twin, Caryn and Filbrick only had two sons, et cetera and et cetera. Then we can talk about where we’ll go from there. But whether you’re coming or not, this boat is leaving in thirty seconds.”

Stan looked away from the woman, down at the sea crashing against the dock gently. This didn’t make any sense. This was like something out of a cheesy movie. He didn’t have to go with this girl and see a world without him in it, but it might answer some of his questions. He just wasn’t sure if he would get the answers he wanted. Oh well, it’s not like he had anything better to do.

“Ten seconds.”

“Alright, I’ll bite.” Stan shrugged and climbed up on board. “Set sail, Ms… Hey, what’s your name, anyways?”

“You can call me Honey.”

“Okay, Honey…”

“Oh my God, he called me honey…”

“Wait wut?”

“Time to go!” The woman grinned for the first time, a sly foxy smile with sparkling eyes and beautiful lips curled upward. She stood from her seat, pulled her sail loose, and it suddenly jetted across the sea so fast it threw Stan back and he had to catch himself from falling into the ocean, meanwhile the girl in all white stood perfectly calm.

“So, where we going?”

“I told you,” Honey said calmly. “We’re gonna go see what it would've been like if you had never been born.”

“Yeah, but where?”

“First stop, Gravity Falls.” The sea around them was fading into woods and trees and dirt, and soon the bot came to such a sudden stop that Stan was thrown to the other side and sat his head on a pinetree, growling as he stood up straight on the sailboat and rubbed his forehead.

Stan looked around and recognized the woods. Yup, this was definitely Gravity Falls, but… something was off. It was gray and cloudy overhead. And they were in front of a big open patch of woods Stan had never seen before.

“What is this place?” Stan asked as he hopped off the sailboat in the mud.

“Gravity Falls.”

“I know that! I mean… I’ve never been here before.”

“Yes you have.” The woman said as she got off her ride and stood beside the old sailor. “You lived here for thirty years in another timeline.”

Stan’s eyes widened. “No… Is this where the Mystery Shack’s supposed to be?”

“You got it.”

“But…” Stan was racking his brain, thinking. “What, did Ford never come here? Cuz he went to that West Coast Tech school he never came here?”

“Nope. Ford never moved to Gravity Falls, which means no Mystery Shack.”

“I always thought there’d be a big mansion here or something.” Stan shrugged and said, “Okay, so there’s no rundown tourist trap. Big deal.”

“Eh, so you think.” Honey started to walk into the woods, giving no invitation for Stan to follow, making it easier for the conman to do so. “Do you remember what this town was like before the Shack?”

Stan shrugged with his hands in the pocket of his trenchcoat. “Not much. Just a bunch of paranoid weirdos who needed a good laugh.”

They emerged from the woods and Stan gasped at the town. It was even more worn down and cheap than it had been when Stan came thirty years ago. Broken windows were boarded up, pavement was cracked, and either ketchup or blood was splattered here and there.

“Whoa hey, what happened?” Stan asked as they left the woods and walked through the town, shouts and coughs being heard in the distance. “I know this place is a dump, but not this much of a dump.”

“Stan, do you really think your business was the only one to succeed due to the tourists coming in?” The woman in white asked. “What about the motels? Diners like Greasy’s? Stores and gas stations? All those out-of-state tourists didn’t just give money to the Shack. You’d be surprised how much one tourist trap helps the economy of one struggling town.”

“Okay, sure, but there’s no way the Shack helped out the town this much.” Stan argued, gesturing around them lazily.

“No, you’re right. Really, the town didn’t hit hard times until about five years ago.”

“Why…”

Screeching tires interrupted the old man. He and Honey watched as a very nice, rich-looking pick-up truck spun around the corner and came to a sudden stop in front of a grocery store. Stan’s jaw dropped to the pavement as he watched someone he barely recognized get out of the passenger’s seat.

Soos had a black baseball cap on backwards, wearing a cold, spiky, black-leather jacket, torn jeans, and a gothic, graphic t-shirt. His eyes were so cold and menacing, he seemed a bit taller due to holding himself up with so much pride, and when he snapped his fingers and pointed to the grocery store, five guys emerged from the truck and raided it like it was the end of the world.

“S-Soos?!” Stan gasped. “Soos, what are you doing?!” But he was ignored.

“No one can see or hear us, Stanley.” Honey said as they watched Soos’ gang drag a cashier out by her long hair and began to pumble her just because they could. Soos did nothing to stop it, even smiled a little as the girl screamed for help.

“I don't get it… Soos is a good kid! He’d never hurt a fly! Why in Moses’ name is he…” Stan couldn’t finish the sentence. He was frighteningly reminded of the Colombian gang he was once under.

“Oh, c'mon sweetie, connect the dots. Who do you think taught Soos to be a good kid?”

“His abuelita did.”

The woman chuckled and shook her head. “She tried, but as he got older it really began to hurt that his dad didn’t wanna be around him. And cuz you weren’t there to tell him otherwise… let’s just say high school never happened for him.”

“What?!”

“He dropped out of school in the eighth grade and joined a small gang outside of town. Eventually he made his way up the ranks and now his little gang terrorized the bottom half of Oregon.”

“B-But why?! All cuz I wasn’t there?” Stan asked, shaking his head. “There’s no way…”

“Stanley, who do you think taught him that he was worth something? Who taught him how to stand up for himself and give bullies left hooks? Who had him put all of his energy into hard work?”

Stan stared at his pretty tour guide. There was no way Stan did all that, no way. Sure, he liked the kid a lot, but he never actually thought he impacted Soos’ life this much. Stan looked back at this horrible version of Soos as his gang loaded the car with food and cash and they sped off, leaving the woman to bleed on the sidewalk and wipe the blood from her lips.

“C’mon,” Honey said and gestured onward. “We’ve got more people to see.”

“Okay so,” Stan followed her and racked his brain. Surely somebody benefited from him not being alive. “What about Wendy? Is she still around?”

“Nope. Without you to give her a job here in town, she had to move upstate to her cousin’s lodge, remember? She had to leave all of her friends behind and she was miserable. Still is, actually. Very quiet gal. Doesn’t say or do much.”

“Wendy? Quiet? I don’t believe you.”

The woman opened a door to a shop, but instead of the inside of the building they saw a black-haired Wendy sitting on her bed in her new room, criss-crossed, holding her pillow as she listened to depressing heavy metal.

Stan winced. “Yikes. She turned into a real Robbie.”

“That kid joined Soos’ gang, BTW.” The woman said as she closed the door.

Stan was having a hard time buying the idea that nobody actually got some good out of him not being around. "Wh-What about that lil' troll? Gideon?"

Honey snorted and led the way through town. As they walked, Stan was having a hard time buying this scenario. There was no way he made this much of a difference. Okay, sure, if he not being alive meant Ford never moved to Gravity Falls, and that meant Gravity Falls changed a bit, Stan could understand that, but there was no way this town turned for the worst all because Stan wasn’t there. There was no way the screw-up actually made things better. Right?

“Here we are.” The woman said to snap Stan out of his thoughts.

The car dealership looked mostly the same. A little more run-down, sure, and there was no Tent of Telepathy in sight, but Bud still wore that stupid straw hat with a baby-blue Hawaiian shirt and tan pants, but he didn’t look quite right, either. Heavy bags were under his eyes, looking a bit more like his wife, and the little bit of hair he had was graying a bit too early. He waved his customer goodbye with a smile, but the second they were gone he sighed tiredly and was frightened by a window being shattered by a rock.

“DADDY! GET OVER HERE!”

“Oh, boy.” Bud steadied himself and went back to the house.

“Hey, how come the little jerk’s business isn’t booming?” Stan asked, more interested as to why his biggest competitor wasn’t flourishing in a town that needed someone to believe in. “He’d do great here! He could’ve used his little camera to tell people when S-... when the gang was gonna strike, or…”

“Stanley, sweetie, how do you think Gideon started that tent?”

“I dunno, he decided to use his cuteness to get some cash?”

“Not quite. For a few years he was just a bratty kid, but then he found a journal in his playground full of mystical objects, including a magic bow-low tie. It was that journal that made him think of telepathy. Even if he was fake, it was Journal 2 that inspired him.”

“Okay, okay,” Stan held his chin. “So with no me there’s no Ford in Gravity Falls which means no journals which means no Tent of Telepathy. Fine, but the twerp’s gotta be a better person without that spooky book making him think he’s all powerful.”

The woman in white laughed and pointed to the house. “You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? See for yourself.”

Stan walked up to the broken window and was mortified at the state of the house. Stains everywhere, chipped and torn furniture, cracked walls, torn carpet, and in the midst of it all was a ten-year-old lying on his stomach on the couch, banging his fists and kicking like a toddler as he screamed horribly. Stan winced, but then was completely thrown off to find Gideon’s hair not white and up Dolly Parton-style, but orange and cut short.

“I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT!” Gideon screamed as if he was being murdered.

His poor mother was against the wall, holding her heart and breathing heavy; Stan noticed the signs of an anxiety attack.

Bud slowly approached his son and tried to calm him down. “Now, sugar pie, please…” But the human beaver was kicked in the jaw, leaving a bruise and making him bite his lip so hard he bled. Bud held his mouth as Gideon continued to scream.

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU NEVER GIMME ANYTHANG I WANT! WHY YA HAVE TO BE SO STUPID?!”

“Yikes, how did not being possessed by a freaky journal make him worse?” Stan asked Honey as they walked away from the house. “I don’t get it.”

“Sure, Gideon wasn’t the best kid before the journal, but at least with the journal he had something to work towards, something to put all of his energy into, and he also had you.”

“M-Me?”

“Don’t you remember the first time you met him?”

“Yeah, he took my parking spot with that stupid van.”

“Actually, you met once before.” Honey chuckled as they walked back into the woods. “You were both at the grocery store when he was four. He was with his mom, bouncing in the buggy and demanding for candy. She gave in just to keep him quiet and tuned to pick some milk. You were across the aisle, picking orange juice, when Gideon dropped his chocolate bar while trying to open it. You noticed the candy and the boy making grabby hands at you and the candy, but you grinned, said ‘no’ firmly, picked up the chocolate…”

“... and ate it right in front of him!” Stan laughed. “I had forgotten… I didn’t know that was Gideon! I thought that was just some spoiled brat.”

“Well, it was. You were the first and only person who ever told that boy ‘no’, the only person who really challenged him and pushed him. Thanks to you, he channeled his anger and energy into trying to take you and the Shack down. But without you around to push him, he had no way to get his energy out, except his parents.”

Stan looked down at the dirt and they stopped walking for a second. “This… This doesn’t make any sense.”

“How so?”

“I’m just a screw-up!” Stan argued as he looked back up at the woman. “I’m the twin no one wanted! I’m just some loser of a conman! It doesn’t make sense that a guy like that could… it… there’s gotta be somebody to benefitted from me not existing! What about Lazy Susan? With no Mystery Shack that means no lazy eye, right?”

“Actually, Soos’ gang raided the diner and it ended badly when Susan stood up to them.” Honey winced. “She ended up not only losing her job, but her eye, too.”

Stan swore under his breath. “Fine… What about that McGucket dude? His life’s gotta be better than living at the dump with his mind all jacked up.”

The woman shrugged and led the way deeper into the woods. “Barely. C’mon, we’re going to Tennessee.”

Stan followed the mysterious tour guide back to the sailboat and this time properly braced himself for the sudden speed. Very suddenly they were racing along the sea, colors swirling by them, until they stopped very suddenly on a river. Stan’s jaw dropped to see a huge, beautiful mansion up on the hill by the river. The woman parked the sailboat by the dock and they started to walk up to the rich house, passing a weeping willow with a stone bench with a big crack in the middle.

“This is McGucket’s place?” Stan clarified.

“You got it, genius.” Honey gestured to the six horse stables, the lush garden, all of the nice cars and wagons, and at just how huge and nice and rich the mansion was. “Fiddleford still went to Backupsmore and met his wife, Emma May, and with no Ford to ask for help on a portal, Fiddleford became the inventor of not only person computers, or what’s commonly called laptops, he became the founder of the largest tech company in the country, Berri.”

The woman reached into her pocket and pulled out one of those smartphones the kids had, except the back had a little strawberry with a bite in it. “They went on to invent the first cell phone, BerriWatch, and right now they’re testing a self-driving car. Fiddleford found himself with more money than he knew what to do with and after he built his family their dream home, which by the way is the richest house in Tennessee, he simply expanded his company and made historical international deals. He’s also made huge donations to small run-down towns, like the one he grew up in, to create jobs and try to help out their economies.”

“Cool, okay, see.” Stan said with a smile, impressed by this hillbilly’s success. “One person got a good deal from me not being around.”

Honey rocked her hand side to side and led the way around the mansion, walking alongside the clear open space, passing the weeping willow and bench to move around the hill. “Just cuz he was successful doesn’t mean he was better off. Don’t forget, Fiddleford was never the greatest at handling his stress well. He invented that Memory Gun because Ford accidentally inspired him to, saying scientists have a way of creating solutions to their problems. So with no way to forget his stress and anxiety, Fiddleford drank to forget how worried he was about losing his company if he made a bad deal or if his newest invention or work or if he was putting out a good public face.”

“No.” Stan shook his head. “That goody two-shoes? No way.”

“Hey, he grew up around moonshine, he just couldn’t get his hands on it when he was living at the dump.” The woman shrugged and they came upon a stone pathway and walked down it to a small flower garden that formed a circle. “Anyways, Fiddleford was never violent, thank goodness, but he was drunk more than he was sober. He should be happy, with a wife and son and booming business to boot, but he wasn’t. He fell into depression and drank until he ended up here.”

Stan looked ahead and felt the wind get knocked out of him. There was a flat tombstone in the middle of the circle of flowers. He knew what was on there, but he still slowly approached to read what the stone said. “Fiddleford H. McGucket. 1956-2011. The angels now sing a whisky lullaby.”

Stan backed away, backing up farther than the woman was, shaking his head and even punching his forehead as he tried to think. “This… This doesn’t make any sense! Their lives were supposed to get better without me, not worse!”

“Stanley…”

“The kids!” Stan gasped and looked up at Honey. “Where are the kids?!”

The woman looked sober and she gestured back to the sailboat to go to their next stop. “Back in California.”

Stan was anxious the whole trip, though it only took a minute to get where they were going, but soon they were on the side of the road in front of a middle school. Stan watched on the boat as the bell rang and kids started pouring out. He kept his eyes peeled for his kids and he grinned at the sight of two brown-haired twins.

Dipper wore a long-sleeved blue flannel over his orange t-shirt to go with his gray pants. He still had bags under his eyes and he still had that lucky star hat to hide his birthmark, slouching a little with his backpack, but he was still here, a brilliant thirteen-year-old. Stan was a bit worried to see him looking so down and upset, but both men soon smiled as a young girl skipped out of the school.

Mabel had her long hair up with a scrunchie today and kept back with a headband, still wearing her sweaters, today wearing leggings with her skirt, and she grinned at her twin and punched his shoulder before hugging him. “Hey bro bro! Wanna go to the arcade today? I hear they got some new prizes!”

“Sure, sounds fun.”

“There, you see.” Stan sighed with relief as he watched the kids walk down the sidewalk, passing the boat. “They’re fine, they’re happy. They still got each other.”

Just then, some big buy came around the corner and bumped elbows with Dipper, making Stan’s nephew stop, and the bully shoved him onto the concrete.

“Dipper!” Mabel cried out and looked ready to punch the bully, but a guy came up behind her and grabbed her around the arms, pinning her. Another guy joined the bully and they cracked their knuckles as they gazed down at their prey.

“If it isn’t the best punching bag in town.” The bully sneered. “Feel like fighting back today, Dipstick. It’s no fun having a sparring partner that doesn’t fight back.”

Dipper growled and made a flimsy attempt to stand and punch his opponent, but the bully grabbed his wrist and punched him in the gut and kicked him down, leaving poor Dipper to huddle on the sidewalk while the two bullies hammered on him and Mabel fought to be free and help but was powerless against her capture.

“HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HE-” And Mabel’s mouth was covered, but she still wiggled and screamed.

Stan couldn’t watch anymore. He had purposely waited to give the kids a chance to fight back, but sometimes you just need a little help. “I’M COMING!”

“Stanley!”

Stan jumped off the boat and ran to the kids to pull the bully off his niece and scoop her into his arms, but his arms went right through them. He frantically tried to shove the bullies off his nephew, but again his body went right through them, like he was a ghost.

The woman stood by his side and said calmly, “I told you, no one can see or hear or feel us.”

“I can’t just stand by and do nothing!” Stan yelled at her face.

“Why not? Everyone else has. No one had ever taught them how to fight back when the world fights them, except…”

“Me.” Stan finished for her with a sigh. He made himself watch as the bullies continued to beat Dipper up, finally stopping after the ring leader kicked him in the jaw, and Mabel was let go as they ran off to celebrate their victory.

Mabel crawled to her twin’s side and checked over his injuries as he carefully sat on his knees. “Dipper! Dipper, are you okay? What hurts? Show me what hurts.”

“Ow, ow, ow,” He whined as Mabel touched his swollen eyes and busted lips. Dipper spat out a tooth and held his chest. “I think… I think they cracked a rib.”

“Let’s go home.” Mabel carried his backpack for him and had him lean on her as they wimped onward. “Mom can look at it and take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t get it.” Stan said as he watched his kids walk away. “They’re good kids! Isn’t anyone gonna stand up for them?! What about their parents?! What about their friends?!”

“They don’t have any friends.” Honey said sadly as they watched the twins. “The only friends they had ever made were in Gravity Falls, which they had never visited cuz there was no family there. And Shermie taught your nephew to keep your head down to stay out of trouble, which he’s trying to teach his kids. Unfortunately, it isn’t working out for them, and what used to be bad nicknames and gum in their hair has escalated to fights and notes to kill themselves.”

Stan bit his lip. Not those kids. Not his kids. He wanted to believe things would get better for them, but if no one taught them that they were worth something, that they could stand up for themselves, he didn't have much hope and he didn’t dare ask what their future looked like. But something didn’t sit right…

“Shermie,” He muttered without looking at the woman, still looking ahead. “Y-You said he taught his kid to keep his head down.”

“I did.”

“Why would he do that?” Stan asked. “I mean, sure he’s always been a lame square, but that’s really bad advice, even for him. He taught me and… He taught Ford to stand up for himself. Crampelter was terrified for weeks when Shermie found out he had been breaking Ford’s fingers.”

“He and Ford didn’t see much of each other.” Honey answered quietly.

Something clicked in Stan’s head. While all of this was interesting or whatever, there was only one person that Stan truly believed was better off without him. His better half, the genius, the loved son, the author of the journals, the criminal of the multiverse. His brother. Stan turned to her and asked quietly, “Where’s Ford?”

For the first time, the woman looked scared. She looked away and said, “You don’t wanna know.”

“Yes I do!” Stan bellowed and grabbed the woman by the shoulders. “Please! Where’s my brother?!” This gal had been scaringly quiet about the one person Stan cared the most about.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Stanley, let’s just get back on the boat…”

“Only if you take me to see my brother! Where. Is. Stanford?!” Stan demanded darkly, his eyes pleading the woman to make his request.

The woman sighed and Stan let her go.

They slowly got on the boat and it zipped to the docks of Glass Shard. Stan blinked a few times at being back to where he grew up for the first time in forty years. Dark clouds covered the sky. Not much had changed throughout the years, but why on Earth was Ford still here? They hopped off and planted their feet on the sand, and Honey led the way as she spoke.

“Stanford was still born with six fingers on each hand. Your mother tried to assure him that it only made him special, but Filbrick did a good job of making it clear that that wasn’t the case, and things only got worse when he went to school. You weren’t there to beat up bullies, you weren’t there to tell him that he was special, you weren’t there to help him dream of a future where they would sail away and he’d be free.”

“Yeah but Ford was always a little genius.” Stan interrupted as they left the sand for dirt, the beach slowly turning into a small patch of woods. “He’d win a handful of science fairs and spelling bees and then at least Pa was okay with acknowledging that they were related.”

“But Stanford didn’t win a handful of science fairs and spelling bees.” Honey corrected sadly. “Stanley, you were the only person in his childhood that made him think that he was actually worth something. You were the only one who made him shoot for the stars and believe that he was worth keeping around. Without you to give him confidence, Stanford never expressed his intelligence and therefore never allowed it to grow at all. He did okay in school, but he wasn’t the top student. He never participated in science fairs of sleeping bees or math competitions because he didn’t have enough confidence to put himself out there. Sure he was smart, but teachers weren't going bananas over him because no one, not even himself, knew his potential.”

It started to rain, but of course the two didn’t feel it or were affected by it. “So… he didn’t go to West Coast Tech?” Stan dared to ask as they walked deeper down the dirt path, oblivious to where they were as he was thinking this through.

“No.”

“But… I thought you said he did.”

“No, I said he never moved to Gravity Falls. He never felt home.”

“So… what happened to him? What did Ford end up doing with his life?”

Honey bit his lip and refused to meet Stan’s eye. They walked on and Stan finally realized where they were. He felt ready to throw up. He waited for his guide to speak.

“Much like Dipper and Mabel, things only got worse as he got older. He got to a point where Stanford was stealing Filbrick’s boos and he even started to hurt himself. It wasn’t enough. It was all too much for him. He… He…”

“No.” Stan’s voice cracked and he was terrified when the woman stopped and motioned to a tombstone that laid among the others in this graveyard. “No! You’re lying! He wouldn’t! He didn’t!” He yelled.

“I’m sorry, Stanley.”

Stan finally made himself read the rock. He fell to his knees at the words that shined through the rain. “Stanford Filbrick Pines. 1956-1970.”

“NO!” Stan screamed and punched the ground beneath him as he gritted his teeth and shut his eyes. “NO! HE WOULDN’T! HE DIDN’T!”

“Ma found him dangling from the ceiling. She was never the same after losing her baby.” Honey croaked. “He was only fourteen.”

“NO!” Stan shook his head as he ignored how wet his cheeks and eyes were now. “NO! He… He… He never needed me. He never wanted me around.”

“Yes he did.”

“You’re lying.”

“Stanley, listen.” The woman said firmly behind him. “You said it yourself that family needs each other. I know it’s hard to believe that you’re actually worth something when there’s a dozen voices in your head telling you otherwise, but just like how you need them, your family needs you. Your brother needs you.”

Stan listed his fists up from the dirt, his eyes on the tombstone without seeing. “I… I just thought he’d be… they’d be better off I hadn’t been around.”

“No one knows for sure how they change things or how much they really impact others. But you do. And even if you forget all of this, you know your family loves you enough to tell you that they need you.”

Stan snorted. “Yeah, but what’s keeping them from saying that outta pity?”

“You can’t let yourself think like that, Stanley, you just can’t.” Honey said firmly. “Your family loves you. Stanford loves you. He needs you, and if you don’t believe me, just take a look at what he’s like when you’re gone.”

“Wait what?”

Honey got on her knees beside him and showed him her golden watch. The face changed to a scene, like a tiny TV, and Stan started to find Ford back at the Stan O’ War II, kneeling beside his injured twin who laid more dead than alive on the couch. With tears streaming down his face Ford was wrapping a bandage around Stan’s head and feeling his heartbeat and checking that the bandages around his torso were well and secure.

“Stanley, Stanley please,” Ford begged as he took Stan’s hand and squeezed it. “Please don’t leave me. I need you, the kids need you. Please.”

“Whoa hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Stan said, but then his eyes grew wide and he looked up at Honey. “Am I?”

“I dunno.” She asked as she lowered her arm and smiled at him. “Do you wanna go?”

“Go where?”

Honey chuckled. “On.”

Stan blinked at her. “No. No, I don’t. If… If that knucklehead really wants me around, then I’ll stay.”

Honey blinked her eyes dry and stood up. “That’s what I like to hear. I’ll get you home.”

Stan stood up and followed her back to the boat. “By the way, honey, why’d you do all this for me? What, wanted to earn your wings?”

“No, this was pure self-indulgent.”

“Wait wut?”

~~~~~~~~~~

His head hurt. His side ached a little, but his head really hurt. That didn’t matter. He had no idea why, but he had to see his brother.

Stan forced his eyes open and found his vision blurry thanks to his glasses being folded on the end table. He smiled when he saw that Ford had fallen asleep by his side, kneeling beside the couch, holding his hand, and resting his head face-first into his own folded arms. Outside it was dark, which could mean it was seven in the morning of seven at night, given the fact they were up in the Arctic.

The younger, injured twin, snorted at his brother, which made the aged scientist sit up too quickly for it to be wise, wide awake, with his hair in a gray floof and his red eyes wide and alert.

“Stanley! Thank Moses!” He cried out and stood up to better look over him. “How do you feel? Any pain? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Calm down, Sixer,” Stan chuckled weakly as he slowly tried to sit up, sensitive to the wound on his side. “My head hurts, but I’ll be fine with some painkillers, and you’re holding up two fingers like some dumb hippy.”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Ford hugged him around his shoulders tightly as his whole body trembled. “I know you showed no signs of a concussion and your wound is not nearly as bad as it could have been, but i didn’t know for sure if you would pull through or what I would do without you and…”

“Geez, relax, it’s okay, Stanford.” Stan shushed as he hugged him and rubbed his back. “M’fine, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.” Ford said firmly and sat back, a hand still on his shoulder. “Don’t you ever think for a second that I don’t want you here with me, Stanley. I need you.”

“Yikes, where’s all this sappiness coming from, eh?”

Ford blinked at his twin and said slowly, “Y-You said you thought I’d be better off without you…”

Stan waved that away. “Ah, you say stupid stuff when you hit your brain too hard. I swear, Sixer, you’re stuck with me, as long as you’ll have me, anyways. Somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t kill yourself out here.”

Ford chuckled tiredly and shrugged. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m always right. Now do we have any stew left? I’m starving.”

[sweet-evie]

Sea Witch: The Mermaid AU Nobody Asked For [Fanfic Commentary #6]

Fanfic AO3

He hated how hopelessly he had fallen in love with this creature. But he couldn't deny the wishes of his own heart — and how it called her name with every beat. [AU Lelouch/CC story]

[FANFIC COMMENTARY]

No one asked for this. I don’t know if anyone other than me even thought of C.C. as a lonely mermaid, but here we are. I personally blame the rabbit hole I fell into one day, because I just obsessively started reading deep lore surrounding sirens and then mermaids, and the ideological merging of the two. I was a woman possessed with the research spirit. xD

Pile on the fact that I rewatched Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and we have ourselves a Code Geass Mermaid AU, Ladies & Gents! Around the same time, I was also having a blast with a mermaid Sim in the Sims 4 Island Living pack, so there we go.

I was in a slump around that time of year too, and it reflected in my Author’s Notes, coupled with empty promises about Señorita: When It's Been Said and Done. I don’t even know who reads these fanfic commentaries, since I’m doing this for my own need for self-expression on the internet. But if anyone’s curious about why I dropped the plotline I had, it’s in the Fanfic Commentary #5.

I was in such an indulgent mood for this AU that I was seriously thinking about turning it into a whole-ass fantasy series. And then I remembered my WIPs and knocked some sense into myself to slow down with starting things, because it was just getting out of hand. Ergo, I settled with writing a watered down version of what I imagined. And to be fair, I just really wanted to write a mermaid/human romance. My deadass brain also considered making the story more steamy (with foreplay involved etc.), but then I figured that that was too much and I had no energy to sustain it.

Behind the Scenes of the Plot (?)

Sea Witch is very vague.

But the gist of it is, Lelouch is a Crown Prince of Britannia (classic & cliched plot right here). He went on a classic discoverer’s expedition (16-17th century-esque). I set up Lelouch as a competent and excellent naval commander, so the news of the shipwreck took the kingdom by surprise, and struck a mortal blow into the royal family of Britannia.

Lelouch’s ship was destroyed by a storm. But it was a rainstorm caused by no other than C.C. herself. C.C. is a bloodthirsty mermaid, okay. xD I mentioned her sharp serrated teeth in that one-shot, along with her irises that are literally gold and blue swirls… Somewhat similar to Mermaid eyes in the Sims 4. Her tail is also blue-white.

You know what? This is what her tail, teeth, & eyes look like. xD I made it in The Sims 4. XD

Anywaaayyy~ She was hellbent on eating Lelouch’s heart too, but she’s intrigued because he’s resistant to her songs, for some reason. So she rescues him and brings him to her grotto instead.

There was supposed to be a convoluted backstory for Lelouch involving accidents in the middle of the ocean when he was younger and encounters with sea creatures that spawned his subconscious interest and fascination for the sea. For some reason, he has immunity from a Siren’s spell. I didn’t take notes, and I regret it, because now I can’t remember clearly.

Sooo~ C.C. finds him intriguing. They end up falling into a sexual relationship of sorts. (Or as sexual as one can get with a piscine woman). But as one can see and read the implications in Sea Witch, they fall in love.

And Lelouch feels torn about going home to the life he once led, or choosing to stay with C.C.

It cuts there. A very unsatisfying ending to a very vague one-shot in the first place.

But as we all know, I wrote a sequel for this a year after I published Sea Witch.

And that is The Last Siren Kiss.

[cardest]

New Orleans playlist

Hungry for some po boys? Feeling the Mardi Gras vibes for this weekend? This is the ultimate NOLA playlist, right here. Play the songs here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC182dTlE-Gii6ZOO5ZrN1Z1T

Louisiana and New Orleans, all in the one awesome playlist. If there are songs I left out, let me know and I can add those. Or come meet me at Le Bon Temps Roulé  and we’ll listen to this NOLA playlist together with drinks.

LOUISIANA & NEW ORLEANS

001 Bob James - Take Me To The Mardi Gras 002 Earl King - Ain’t no city like New Orleans 003 John Lee Hooker - goin’ to Louisiana 004 Crowbar -  Wrath Of Time By Judgment 005 True Detective - Theme (The Handsome Family - Far From Any Road) 006 EyeHateGod - New Orleans Is The New Vietnam 007 The The Meters -  Chicken Strut 008 Paul McCartney - Live And Let Die (from Live And Let Die) 009 The Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar 010 Lucinda Williams - Crescent City 011 King Hobo -  New Or-Sa-Leans 012 Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting 013 Down - Underneath Everything 014 True Blood Theme Song (Jace Everett - Bad Things) 015 Corrosion of Conformity -  Broken Man 016 The New Orleans Jazz Vipers - I Hope Your Comin' Back To New Orleans 017 Willy DeVille - Jump City 018 Left Side - Gold In New Orleans 017 Necrophagia -  Reborn through Black Mass 018 Johnny Horton -  The Battle Of New Orleans 019 Dr John - Litanie des Saints 020 Foo Fighters - In the Clear 021 Redbone - The Witch Queen Of New Orleans 022 Jucifer - Lautrichienne 023 Danzig - It's a long way back from hell 024 Harry Connick, Jr. -  Oh, My Nola 025 The Gaturs - Gator Bait 026 Jon Bon Jovi - Queen Of New Orleans 027 Cyril Neville -  Gossip 028 Carlos Santana - Black Magic Woman 029 Gentleman June Gardner - It's Gonna Rain 030 Eddy G. Giles - Soul Feeling (Part 1) 031 Tool - Swamp Song 032 Beasts of Bourbon -  Psycho 033 Seratones - Gotta Get To Know Ya 034 Chuck Berry -  You Never Can Tell 035 Grateful Dead - Mississippi Half-Step Uptown Toodleoo 036 Pale Misery - Hope is a Mistake 037 Exhorder - Homicide 038 King James & the Special Men - Special Man Boogie 039 Chuck Carbo -  Can I Be Your Squeeze 040 Amebix - Axeman 041 Tomahawk - Captain Midnight 042 Waylon Jennings - Jambalaya 043 Heavy Lids - Deviate 044 Red Hot Chili Peppers -  Apache Rose Peacock 045 Necrophagia -  Rue Morgue Disciple 046 Johnny Cash -  Big River 047 Albert King -  Laundromat Blues 048 Meklit Feat Preservation Hall Horns - You Are My Luck 049 Le Winston Band  - En haut de la montagne 050 Dr. john - I Thought I Heard New Orleans Say 051 Down -  New Orleans is a dying whore 052 Samhain -  To Walk The Night 053 Creedence Clearwater Revival -  Green River 054 Southern Culture on the Skids -  Voodoo Cadillac 055 Bonnie, Sheila -  You Keep Me Hanging On 056 Warren Lee -  Funky Bell 057 Elf - Annie New Orleans 058 Cannonball Adderley - New Orleans Strut 059 Doug Kershaw - Louisiana Man - New Orleans Version 060 Willy deVille  - Voodoo Charm 061 The Animals -  The House of the Rising Sun 062 Porgy Jones -  The Dapp 063 Lost Bayou Ramblers - Sabine Turnaround 064 IDRIS MUHAMMAD - New Orleans 065 John Lee Hooker - Boogie Chillen No. 2 066 Hank 3 - Hillbilly Joker 067 Nine Inch Nails -  Heresy 068 Talking Heads - Swamp 069 Irma Thomas - I'd Rather Go Blind 070 Mississippi Fred McDowell -  I'm Going Down the River 071 Dee Dee Bridgewater   - Big Chief 072 Dr. John  - Creole Moon 073 Agents of Oblivion -  Slave Riot 074 Steve Vai - Voodoo Acid 075 Saviours -  Slave To The Hex 076 Kris  Kristofferson -  Casey's Last Ride 077 JJ Cale - Louisiana Women 078 Cher - Dark Lady of New Orleans 079 LE ROUX - Take A Ride On A Riverboat 080 The Melvins -  A History Of Bad Men 081 Floodgate - Through My Days Into My Nights 082 Opprobium - voices from the grave 083 Quintron & Miss Pussycat - Swamp Buggy Badass 084 Child Bite - ancestral ooze 085 Sammi Smith - The City Of New Orleans 086 The Explosions - Garden Of Four Trees 087 Bobby Boyd - straight ahead 088 Bobby Charles - Street People 089 Wall of Voodoo -  Far Side of Crazy 090 Rhiannon Giddens - Freedom Highway (feat. Bhi Bhiman) 091 Elton John - Honky Cat 092 Serge Gainsbourg - Bonnie and Clyde 093 Fats Domino - I'm Walking To New Orleans 094 Cruel Sea - Orleans Stomp 095 Down -  On March The Saints 096 Danzig -  Ju Ju Bone 097 The Neville Brothers ~ Voodoo 098 Megadeth -  The Conjuring 099 Miles Davis - Miles runs the voodoo down 100 Elvis Presley - King Creole 101 Led Zeppelin - Royal Orleans 102 The Lime Spiders -  Slave Girl 103 BIG BILL BROONZY  -'Mississippi River Blues'   104 Kreeps - Bad Voodoo 105 Dirty Dozen Brass Band -  Caravan 106 Kirk Windstein -  Dream In Motion 107 Eletric Prunes - Kyrie Eleison - Mardi Gras 108 Merle Haggard - The Legend Of Bonnie And Clyde 109 Corrosion of Conformity -  River of Stone 110 THE ADVENTURES OF HUCK FINN (MAIN TITLE) 111 Zigaboo Modeliste - Guns 112 ReBirth Brass Band - Let's Go Get 'Em 113 Inell Young -  What Do You See In Her? 114 Jimi Hendrix - If 6 as 9 (Studio Version) Easy Rider Soundtrack 115 Deep Purple -  Speed King 116 Exhorder - The Law 117 Crowbar -  The Cemetery Angels 118 A Streetcar Named Desire OST - Main Title 119 WOORMS - Take His Fucking Leg 120 steely dan - pearl of the quarter 121 Tabby Thomas - Hoodoo Party 122 Black Label Society -  Parade of the Dead 123 Dwight James & The Royals - Need Your Loving 124 Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012) The Rampant Hunter (Soundtrack OST) 125 PanterA - The Great Southern Trendkill 126 Ween - WHO DAT? 127 Earl King - Street Parade 128 Ernie K-Doe - Here Come The Girls 129 Dejan's Olympia Brass Band ~ Mardi Gras In New Orleans 130 Body Count -  KKK Bitch 131 Goatwhore - Apocalyptic Havoc 132 C.C. Adcock - Y'all d Think She Be Good To Me (from True Blood S01E01) 133 The Meters - Fire On The Bayou 134 Dr. John - I Walk On Guilded Splinters 135 Balfa Brothers - J'ai Passe Devant ta Porte 136 Ween - Voodoo Lady 137 King Diamond -  'LOA' House 138 Creedence Clearwater Revival - Born On The Bayou 139 Dax Riggs -  See You All In Hell Or New Orleans 140 Professor Longhair - Go to the Mardi Gras 141 Dixie Witch -  Shoot The Moon 142 Ramones - The KKK Took My Baby Away 143 Fats Waller -  There's Going To Be The Devil To Pay 144 Mississippi Fred McDowell -  When the Train Comes Along with Sidney Carter & Rose Hemphill 145 Treme Song (Main Title Version) 146 Tony Joe White - Even Trolls Love Rock and Roll 147 Nine Inch Nails -  Sin 148 Exodus -  Cajun Hell 149 NEIL DIAMOND - New Orleans 150 James Brown - Call Me Super Bad 151 Jimi Hendrix -  Voodoo Child ( Slight Return ) 152 Allen Toussaint - Chokin Kind 153 Dash Rip Rock  - Meet Me at the River 154 Hawg Jaw- 4 Lo 155 Hot 8 Brass Band - Keepin It Funky 156 Hank Williams III - Rebel Within 157 Dejan's Original Olympia Brass Band - Shake It And Break It 158 Jelly Roll Morton -  Finger Buster 159 The Royal Pendletons - (Im a) Sore Loser 160 Little Bob & The Lollipops - Nobody But You 161 Gregg Allman - Floating Bridge (True Detective Soundtrack) 162 Michael Doucel with Beausoleil - Valse de Grand Meche 163 Dolly Parton - My Blue Ridge Mountain Boy 164 Othar Turner & the Afrossippi Allstars – Shimmy She Wobble 165 Jucifer - Fleur De Lis 166 Soilent Green -  Leaves Of Three 167 Ides Of Gemini -  Queen of New Orleans 168 Betty Harris -  Trouble with My Lover 169 Lead Belly - Pick A Bale Of Cotton 170 Candyman Opening Theme 171 Goatwhore - When Steel and Bone Meet 172 Acid Bath - Bleed Me An Ocean 173 Pere Ubu - Louisiana Train Wreck 174 Walter -Wolfman- Washington - You Can Stay But the Noise Must Go 175 Alice in Chains -  Hate To Feel 176 Body Count -  Voodoo 177 Live and Let Die - Jazz Funeral 178 Smoky Babe -  Cotton Field Blues 179 Professor Longhair - Big Chief Part 2 180 Lewis Boogie - Walk the Line 181 James Black - Theres a Storm in the Gulf 182 The Balfa Brothers - Parlez Nous A Boire 183 The Jambalaya Cajun Band - Bayou Teche Two Step 184 The Deacons -  Fagged Out 185 Thou - The Changeling Prince 186 Black Sabbath -  Voodoo 187 King Diamond -  Louisiana Darkness 188 Doyle -  Cemeterysexxx 189 KINGDOM OF SORROW - Grieve a Lifetime 190 Hank Williams III - Louisiana Stripes 191 FORMING THE VOID - On We Sail 192 BUCK BILOXI AND THE FUCKS - fuck you 193 Down in New Orleans - The Princess and the Frog Soundtrack 194 Trombone Shorty & James Andrews  - oh Poo Pah Doo 195 Whitesnake -  Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City 196 The Dirty Dozen Brass band - Voodoo 197 Joe Simon - The Chokin' Kind 198 Down -  Ghosts along the Mississippi 199 AEROSMITH  - Voodoo Medicine Man 200 Nine Inch Nails -  The Perfect Drug 201 The Byrds - [Sanctuary III] Ballad Of Easy Rider 202 The Iguauas - Boom Boom Boom 203 PJ Harvey - Down By The Water 204 Louis Armstrong - Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans 205 Dr John - Right Place Wrong Time 206 ESTHER ROSE - handyman 207 Lightnin Slim - It's Mighty Crazy 208 Slim Harpo - Blues Hangover 209 Irma Thomas - Ruler Of My Heart 210 WEATHER WARLOCK - Fukk the Plan-0 211 Superjoint Ritual - The Alcoholik (Use Once And Destroy) 212 Stressball - dust 213 Trampoline Team - Kill You On The Streetcar 214 Xander Harris - Where’s your Villain? 215 Dukes of Dixieland - When The Saints Go Marching In 216 Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds - Su Su 217 Danzig - I'm the one 218 EyeHatteGod - Pigs 219 Hank Williams Jr - Amos Moses 220 The Cramps - Alligator Stomp 221 Crowbar - The Serpent Only Lies 222 Shrüm - drip 223 Thou  - The Only Law 224 DR. JOHN - Babylon   225 Garth Brooks - Callin' Baton Rouge 226 Wild Magnolias - All On A Mardi Gras Day 227 NCIS New Orleans TV Show theme 228 Skull Duggery - Big Easy 229 Harry Connick Jr. - City beaneath the sea 230 Elvis Presley - Dixieland Rock 231 Tom Waits - I Wish I Was In New Orleans (In The Ninth Ward) 232 Neil Young - Everybody's Rockin 233 Philip H. Anselmo & The Illegals - Delinquent 234 CORROSION OF CONFORMITY - Wolf Named Crow 235 Widespread Panic - Fishwater 236 Lillian Boutté - Why Don't You Go Down to New Orleans 237 Bryan Ferry - Limbo 238 Scream - Mardi Gras 239 EyeHateGod - Shoplift 240 Better Than Ezra - good 241 Duke Ellington - Perdido (1960 Version) 242 Bob Dylan - Rambling, Gambling Willie 243 Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - sAve my soul 244 Le Roux - So Fired Up 245 Concrete Blonde - The Vampire song 246 Boozoo Chavis - Zydeco Mardi Gras 247 Idris Muhammad  - Piece of mind 248 Les Hooper - Back in Blue Orleans 249 Doug Kershaw - Cajun stripper 250 DOWN  - Witchtripper 251 Soilent Green - So hatred 252 Professional Longhair - Big chief 253 Willie Nelson - City Of New Orleans 254 Tom Waits - Whistlin' Past The Graveyard 255 Brian Fallon - sleepwalkers 256 Patsy - Count It On Down 257 Into the Moat - The Siege Of Orleans 258 Bruce Cockburn - Down To The Delta 259 Jello Biafra · the Raunch and Soul All-Stars - Fannie Mae 260 Exhorder - Asunder 261 Cane Hill - Too Far Gone 262 The Slackers - peculiar 263 Crowbar  - A Breed Apart   264 COC - Wiseblood 265 Necrophagia - Embalmed Yet I Breathe 266 EYEHATEGOD - Fake What's Yours 333 Alan Vega - Bye Bye Bayou 666 DOWN  - Stone the crow

I don’t beads by the way! Hit play here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC182dTlE-Gii6ZOO5ZrN1Z1T

[azaffranist]

Frozen 2 deleted/early content

On the road to F2 there were tons of leaks and I saved as many of them as I could in the fear that Disney would delete them (because they loved to shut down whole websites because of that back in the day). As a result I have a lot of pictures saved on my phone and looking back on them... some don’t sound quite right because it’s definitely not what I saw in the movie. So here’s everythinggg I have. I did my best to organize stuff a bit but there are so many things it was... hard. Feel free to add more stuff in reblogs, replies and such!

Something to note is that we won’t take into account the “officially” released deleted content, which would include everything that’s in the Blu-ray, because basically everyone already saw that (Home, I Seek the Truth, Get This Right, Unmeltable Me, the Secret Room scene, Hard Nokks, etc). Generally, we won’t be analyzing deleted scenes from the official trailers, either, because of this very reason. Something “official” that we will consider, though, are the deleted clips animators have been releasing on Instagram and other sites, because those aren’t that popular.

Before starting here’s the link to all the deleted F2 lines I could find as well as some other additions. The post itself has even more links to other posts containing deleted content so have fun clicking on links. 

Last thing to mention, none of the merch photos here are taken by me. I got most of them from the leaks channel of the Arendelle Kingdom server during 2019. If any image in this post belongs to someone here and you want to be credited please let me know and I’ll edit the post.

This post is long. Like really, really, lagging-my-browser-as-I’m-writing-it long. So grab some popcorn and get comfortable or just take a look at what interests you.

So without further ado, let’s get started!

Deleted Artbook Content

One of the most exciting leaks we got were definitely these sample artbook excerpts. None of these pages made it into the final artbook, though.

This piece definitely belongs in Iduna and Agnarr’s backstory, in which the Northuldra leader wasn’t an ordinary man but a shapeshifter.

The biggest picture in this page points to yet another version of Iduna and Agnarr’s backstory. It’s possible to deduce Bruni hadn’t been fully developed yet or created at all since the fire isn’t pink.

The one on the bottom right seems to be an earlier version of the “forest freed” scene in the final movie, or maybe it happened in another moment altogether.

The most interesting of the three, though, is this one. Nothing in the movie points to the existence of a place like this. It’s interesting to note that this peculiar house looks very similar to Iceland’s “elf houses”, tied to the myth of the Huldufólk, “hidden people”, who were said to be small and live in a parallel world, being able to make themselves visible at will.

These are definitely the inhabitants of the Enchanted Lands, who look completely different than in the final movie with their long cloaks, hoods and staves. They look like mages. Were these the very first concepts of the Northuldra, or another group of characters altogether that ended up being scrapped? Only Ahtohallan knows...

Even though the tree and the vegetation illustration is in the book, there’s one missing and that one is the bottom left. One of the most popular theories in the fandom regarding that illustration is that it was an Arendellian military camp tied to the expedition to the Enchanted Lands. I think what we got in the movie is a watered down version of a much more violent and sinister endeavor to invade the Northuldra. The above mentioned deleted scene of the battle of Arendellians agains Northuldrans is proof of that.

This one shows the Arendellian gang and most likely Mattias looking at the walls of a cave with drawings on it depicting the Nokk among other things that I can’t quite make out. I’ve heard people say that an earlier version of F2 involved the gang encountering Mattias in a volcanic cave and that’s where this scene would go, but I don’t know if those are rumors or there’s an actual source. If someone happens to have knowledge on this topic in particular please let me know and I’ll update the post.

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Incomplete Frozen Fan Fest books and their alternate scenes

As I’ve mentioned in another post, Frozen Fan Fest happened on October 4th, 2019, and it was the official release of the movie’s first merchandise. We were all super excited to look at the storybooks and read the ending!

Except there was no ending and the books ended abruptly right before Olaf’s death, completely skipping over Show Yourself.

You hear that? “Elsa bravely dives into the Dark Sea”. We know the Dark Sea scene was shortened and that’s more proof.

This section of a Frozen 2 storybook explains how it went a bit better. After Elsa was defeated twice by the ferocious waves she climbed up some giant rocks and dove back in. Only Ahtohallan knows how that would be effective in this situation and not a waste of strength, but hey, I’m sure it looked super cool and I’d be down to see it.

”Elsa trudged through terrible winds and thick snow”... um... she didn’t? This might’ve been created when Show Yourself wasn’t a thing yet and her path through Ahtohallan was just that, trudging through terrible winds and snow, and not an inspiring song about self-love and finding yourself. I wonder how that scene would’ve looked.

Maybe we can find something relating to that “unused” section of Ahtohallan in a book called “Anna, Elsa and the Secret River”. Basically Iduna tells them that there’s a secret river out there and after the lullaby Elsa and Anna go nuts and try to look for the river outside. Seems like it was all a shared acid trip because next morning they seriously consider it was a dream.

Maybe here they didn’t realize they were in front of a river, because “Glaciers are rivers of ice” and this is what that Ahtohallan Elsa ventured into originally would’ve looked like? The white river doesn’t know...

This is by far one of my favorite ones. I wouldn’t exactly describe post-Show Yourself as a moment of calm and peace. Maybe peace but definitely not calm. Then it says that the signal meant that “she managed to cross the sea”. That’s a really weird way to describe “horrifying ice statue of colonialist grandpa killing an innocent native man”. I don’t know if they’re hiding the actual plot here of if they hadn’t yet worked out all the details of SY and the moment Elsa found the truth.

Anna has her cloak on as she finds the truth. Readers have no idea what this enlightening truth is because the ice statue is indistinguishable.

As it shows here, the original Iduna being Northuldra reveal was going to happen in a different way. I’m glad we got that final version... Because wow, Elsa and Anna are completely unable to connect the dots here. Anna was smart enough to figure out what to do after receiving Elsa’s message, c’mon! This should’ve been piece of cake...

 Iduna called Elsa “Little Snow”. This points to an alternate All is Found scene and we’ll talk about that more in depth later.

Same scene. Translation is: 

“While tucking the little princesses in, Queen Iduna sang them a lullaby about a far-away river called Ahtohallan, which holds all the answers about the past.

“Does Ahtohallan know why I have powers?” asked Elsa her mother.

“If it exists, it definitely knows that and much more,” answered the Queen.

So in this earlier version, Elsa has always asked herself if Ahtohallan had the answer to her powers... Doesn’t this make Show Yourself work even better? Here she always looked for that answer and she’d learn that she is the answer. I wonder why they took it out because it makes a lot of sense and would give buildup to Show Yourself.

Here what really matters are the squares with text. Olaf never ran through moss or became covered in it. Olaf never looks down a brook to be met by Nokk’s gaze from below. Maybe it’s an alternate When I’m Older?

And relating to that particular piece of merch:

Seems like in an earlier version, the Nokk was associated with waterfalls.

Everyone shut up there’s SWORD ANNA here. Found in a coloring book. I don’t speak Italian but Google Translate says: 

“Anna is a brave one: she does not hesitate to draw her sword to defend her sister Elsa and her friends from any new threat.”

GOOD FOR HER! This is definitely from the version we were shown in the teaser, when Anna wielding an actual sword and slicing someone with it was still a thing. Man, how I wanted that to happen...

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Alternate fully animated scenes found in animators’ posts

After the release of Frozen 2, animators started to post scenes they had worked on and showing the process behind them. Some of them were deleted, are different in the final movie, or have a completely different score accompanying them.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Adam Green (@agreenster) on Apr 6, 2020 at 5:31pm PDT

A completely different dialogue during the boat scene. Pretty heartbreaking and it’s even more buildup for TNRT, when Anna was left by literally everyone she loved in the planet.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Trent Correy (@trentanimation) on Apr 14, 2020 at 8:50am PDT

Apparently, for whatever reason, Gale was going to appear in the castle first.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Trent Correy (@trentanimation) on Mar 29, 2020 at 10:51am PDT

Olaf’s revival was going to be way different, and this implies that his death might’ve been different, too. Maybe his snow just dissipated and didn’t go anywhere? Maybe instead of being neatly placed by a waterfall, it fell all over the Enchanted Lands? I have no idea.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mariusz Furmanczyk (@mariofurmanczyk) on Mar 21, 2020 at 7:11pm PDT

I absolutely LOVE this one, okay, and I have no idea why they’d leave it out. Turn your sound on and listen to the much more tragic alternate score. But more importantly, pay attention when she turns to solid ice: just like in F1 with Anna, her last breath is visible. Beautiful parallels, poetic cinema, and I’m hurt and confused and I want it in the movie. Excuse me while I call the police.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mariusz Furmanczyk (@mariofurmanczyk) on Feb 26, 2020 at 5:47pm PST

Here the only change is the different score as she unfreezes. I love it so much. It’s so tragic, heavy and powerful. You can basically hear the fragility of Elsa’s fate as the ice breaks and she falls. Help. Here, here, and here, you can see other glimpses of this beautiful alternate score. Once again I’m calling the police and telling them Disney hurt my feelings by leaving this out.

I’ve hit the 5 videos limit already, but here is a link to an animation by jdublish. The change isn’t the scene itself but the completely different siren call Elsa hears. Much more ominous and creepy and I also love it, even though I have to admit the final siren call sounds catchier and more iconic. Also, kids under five won’t start crying of fear when they hear it.

Then there were also plenty of changes in the Elsa vs Nokk scene and we got to see one. Thanks to @justlookatthosesausages for pointing this out and letting me use her gif! The original video was set to private for some reason so I can’t post a Youtube link, but this is @justlookatthosesausages‘ gif:

Elsa struggled way more in the original version. Go to her post to see a comparison with the final version.

And now the awaited All is Found alternate scene! Thanks a lot to @lovewillthaw-j who helped me collect all the scenes. 

First two scenes from the trailers: the Official one, Elsa looks up and Iduna gazes at the northern lights.

The Japanese one, in which Iduna kisses Elsa’s hands. @catloafs pointed that out after F2′s release so thanks!

And the last two were found by @antoineharrakblog, so thanks for that! Here and here.

BUT there’s no need to click a bazillion links because @lovewillthaw-j‘s post reconstructs in a single video what the original scene would’ve been like. Go watch it!

UPDATE: Additions by @antoineharrakblog​. Thanks a lot!

Here we can see that originally, as the elements fled and Kristoff held Olaf, he yelled, “Wow, you’re heavy!”. Don’t know why this would be removed. Maybe they wanted to keep the scene serious? Maybe they needed to shorten the movie so that it didn’t exceed 100 minutes and cut little jokes like that?

 And here, showing Elsa seeing how Iduna saved her father, there’s some deleted dialogue: “Get the prince out of here!” “King Runeard, what did you decide?” in addition to a much more tense score in general.

_________________________

UPDATE: Screencaps of deleted/alternate scenes

Thanks a lot to @antoineharrakblog for bringing all of these pictures to my attention! Multiples screencaps have appeared in different magazines or books that clearly didn’t make it to the movie.

Anna never makes that movement in the final movie. There’s more proof of an alternate/extended “Elsa and Anna talk” scene.

This is another one. There exists a lower quality version of this picture which I can’t find right now, but it shows that Anna and Elsa are sharing kransekake in this particular scene (the particular food that we can see at the beginning of OFA).

These are all part of the All is Found scene we’ve been talking about. In the final movie we can see that All is Found serves as a sort of “bridge” between the past and the present, as it transitions from Iduna singing the song to Elsa to Elsa in the castle, reminiscing. But originally, Iduna finished singing All is Found in the past. There’s proof of this here. 

_________________________

UPDATE: Novelization deleted content

This information was provided by @theupsidedownpyramid​ so thanks a lot! There are some really interesting deleted scenes in the novelization.

In this one, Elsa felt the urge to release her magic after hearing the voice at the end of All is Found.

In the novelization Mattias and Yelena’s (or Yelana? Disney will never decide) relationship was a lot deeper than what was shown in the movie.

For more information and a more thorough analysis, read @theupsidedownpyramid​‘s reblog!

_________________________

Miscellaneous

So there’s only one image in this section but believe me, it’s so worth it. 

An animator casually mentioned that there was going to be a head kiss scene. Process it. Can’t? I can’t either.

_________________________

Wow I’m TIRED. I must’ve missed something but that’s all my brain can handle as of now. Thank quarantine for giving me the opportunity to work on this post all day.

Disney committed war crimes when they deleted some of these scenes. I have only one question: Why in the world would they do that? And more information might see the light of day in the future. I’ll never get tired of trying to piece together the convoluted puzzle that is the original Frozen 2.

I will update this post if I remember something else or if someone else has more content to share. Let’s reconstruct F2 together to visualize that movie Disney deemed too cool for us!

UPDATE: Into the Unknown: the Making of Frozen 2 Documentary finally has a concrete release date, June 26th. Let’s hope we can see more stuff then!

[meggie-stardust]

GUNDAM WING - REWATCH - 41 - 42

41. Crossfire at Barge

RHYTHM EMOTION FINALLY

What’s Zechs doing in a mobile suit, they ask. It’s like he likes to fight and they have no idea what his military history is....

Duo to Trowa: Hey lets all subtly pretend we aren’t here and then join the conversation and the battle in a really natural way.

Wing Zero just magically knows that that’s Sally Po

Sally the Gundam Finder. We don’t know where Trowa left it, right? Just she found it. Like a person who finds water in the desert.

Cool shot of Wing Zero’s eye

Now that Duke Dermail is dead, Relena is the only one who can control Romefeller. IS she tho??

TREIZE RETURNS

A red dawn rises, blood has spilled last night

Ooh evil face Relena for a moment

I’ve seen Frozen, I know that she is supposed to wear a dress and crown at all time, even when brooding and locked in a room.

Treize just strolling in and laying down the law. Such a BAMF.

Relena wants to stop Zechs. She thinks she’s the one who has influence over him??? Have they even met face to face since they were children???

Treize: You are free. Leave the gowns, we’ll use them later.

Dorothy is ready to stalk Relena to the ends of earth and even space

This White Fang guy who doesn’t want Zechs to use his mobile suit changed his mind quickly

Trowa just doing own thing, even with amnesia

Oh, I forgot that Heero would have brought Epoyn to Sanc so that’s why Noin knows and Quatre thinks it might be Heero

I love how Trowa has no memory but his instincts are pushing through

Well, Zechs, that’s one way to take care of barge, just cut it in half

Everyone is pretty sad that Barge is gone even tho it was trying to take them out…? Do we even know who we are fighting any more???

42. Battleship Libra

Lieutenant Nichol? He’s still around? I for got about that guy.

Lady Une in a magic case. Like Sleeping Beauty.

Treize stays on brand by bringing Une a $200 bouquet of roses

Treize just subtly dropping some large scale secret plans to comatose Une

That Romefeller stained glass is amazing

This Romefeller parliament is a brodeo. 

Treize’s machinations are amazing. I love him. 

Who is Relena traveling with? Is that Oz? The Treize faction? Why do they just let some rando 15 year old go into space? The Sanc Kingdom doesn’t exist, Romefeller kicked her out... she’s no one.

The voice acting is getting a little sloppy. That was basically just Duo and Zechs chatting there.

Gundam 05?!

“If you guys are justified, then you’ll defeat me” Wufei that really isn’t how battles work.

Is Wufei saying, “if you can’t beat me, you can’t beat Treize?” Or “I’m protecting Treize?” I am confused. I think he’s confused, too.

Who was this random who just killed himself but sounded just like Zechs? 

Too many fools in outer space. Amiright?

OK, everyone loves Treize again. Gotcha. (One of us)

Wufei has no time for anyone floating around space near him. Space is infinite why are you flying near me

This is such a crazy buddy cop spin off: Sally, Wufei, and Heero

It’s Wufei’s turn in the Zero system

“The road I’m taking is the correct choice” famous last words, Wufei. 

Wufei is like “If I’m wrong the world will end. Oh, it didn’t end, I must be right. Obvi”

Heero saw Relena. Wufei sees Treize and Zechs… I’m just saying. Wink Wink

Hey you guys remember the alliance, right? No, god, it’s been like 40 episode, thanks for reminding us. 

Wufei: The Zero system says I have to have a weird sewer orgy with the other Gundam Pilots…. Well, if you say so. 

“Treize and Zechs are my enemies” Really Wufei, I thought it was telling you you needed to become a trouple with them… but ok. You do you. 

Zechs will just fire on Dorothy, and she’s like, whatever. I’ll just monologue through my arousal. 

“I’m the only one who can stop my brother” Again. Are you tho???

Thoughts:

Just Communication vs Rhythm Emotion: So whenever I think about Gundam Wing, Rhythm Emotion is the song that pops into my head. When I made a post about doing this rewatch, I added Rhythm Emotion... But it’s crazy, we get it start at episode 41 of a 49 episode show! Granted, they teased it for the last few episodes, but still. The Rhythm Emotion opening gives us new poses, the upgraded Gundams (including Epyon), some weird royal garb for Heero and Relena, but Treize is conspicuously absent (oh and no whip sound effext so minus points for those). It’s a great up beat song, that jumps us right into the action and sets the pace for where we are in the story... That being said, Just Communication is objectively a better opening. We se so much more of the cast, and it takes it time and has a very satisfying end before the show starts. Rhythm Emotion feels rushed and the end of the opening feels so abrupt. I mean whatever, I still love both songs, but do you guys remember the remix version???

OK, in regards to the actual episodes... I hate to say this but I feel like things are getting a little sloppy. We spent like 20 episode setting up these complex relationships, and then like 20 more building up conflict, and then oh shit we have to wrap this up in less than 10 episodes. We’re doing a lot of info dumping so we can remember what organization is what, and so we know the motivations of the characters. I mean, look, it’s not like it’s the final episodes of Evangelion or anything, and I remember the last two episodes being amazing, it’s just it’s not as tight as it was during the first 3/4 of the show.

What I think I remember for the next episode(s):

Does Trowa finally get to be the final pilot to go for a spin in Wing Zero now that the band is basically back together? Relena has to go stick her foot in it at some point as well.

[intelligentdumbass]

My Sweet Prince (2.0)

“What do you do when you’ve done all that there is to do? When you’re too bored to do nothing and yet too tired to do something? When you want to talk but at the same time not?

Well, everyone knows I love to sing and, in times like those just described, I prefer to only sing to myself; to sit in the forest and play my cithara for no one in particular but the random fauna that decide to stay and watch.

…

It was a morning like any other, or at least it was supposed to be.

There was a prince, Hyacinthus, who had set off with his dogs to go hunt in the wooded outskirts of his kingdom. I imagined him to be confused, for it must’ve been quite the strange sight to behold; the trees nothing but silence for hours and hours on end. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, when he and his hounds managed to catch a scent, it was accompanied by a song, and the voice was not of a bird’s. It led them into a small clearing and instead of drawing his bow, the hunter froze.

There was, in the middle, what he perceived to be a fair maiden strumming on their lyre; golden hair shimmering under the sunlight as a wide range of animals sat around them. The young man was entranced, and so were his dogs, so for a while he just stared until the musician finally decided to acknowledge the new addition to their audience.

The notes slowly faded but, before the singer could say a word, Hyacinthus snapped out of it and spoke first.

“I’m sorry miss but… Who the hell are you?” He slowly approached, cautious of all the critters. “What in Zeus’ name is a lass like you doing out here of all places?”

I raised an eyebrow, but I decided to play along. “Oh you know… boredom.”

“I assume your father’s somewhere close by, then.” He glanced around, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh no, I came here to have some me time with myself.”

Hyacinthus looked dismayed. “Not even a brother, cousin, or a friend?”

I shook my head; he frowned.

“It’s not safe to be all alone out here.” He insisted. “As a prince, it is my duty to protect-”

And alas, it was in that moment that he had accidentally stepped on the tail of a lion. Fortunately, a second later, a silver arrow rushed by; barely missing the young man and piercing the cat’s heart. The rest of the animals took this as a sign to scram.

Hyacinthus blinked, and muttered a silent prayer to the god of archery. Ironically, this is what he said immediately after:

“See my point? Come on, I’ll escort you back.”

He reached his hand out to assist me, but only got a punch to the face in response. As he staggered back I took the opportunity to speak in my normal, deeper voice.

“Really??”

Needless to say, the mortal was mortified. Gazing into my sapphire eyes, he suddenly understood. He hastily tried to get his shit together, smiling in embarrassment.

“A-” “Apologies my lord. I suppose you’re just… that enchanting.”

I scanned him from head to toe. My instincts told me he wasn’t lying; it wasn’t merely empty flattery. “Hm… I suppose you’re not that bad yourself.”

“Ah well, of course! I’m Sparta’s heir after all.” He proudly exclaimed. “Still though, I am, uh terribly sorry for interrupting your song-”

“Save your apologies; it’s fine. I’m not going to smite you for that.” I sat down and placed the cithara back on my lap. “In fact, you’re welcome to stay if you so desire. I won’t mind.”

“But you said you wanted some time alone?”

“Away from the other gods, I mean.”

Hyacinthus was reluctant, but his puppers seemed eager to hear me continue my song.

“…alright. Only for a bit, if that’s okay with you, Lord Phoebus.” He said, sitting next to me; the dogs following suit. I suppose he had nothing better to do. Then again, how could he?

I smiled. “Please, just call me Apollo.”

Unbeknownst to Hyacinthus a ‘bit’ was quite the understatement. It was like time itself ceased to exist, and for once that wasn’t such a bad thing.

Soon the sun was setting and the prince was leading his pack back to the palace. I chose to stay. It was then that the west wind materialized before me.

“I was just passing by, so here’s a quick tip.” Zephyr murmured. “If I were you, I’d restrain myself. He’s already caught the eyes of two other gods and one mortal.”

“And you’re telling me this because?” A smile crept its way onto my lips.

“…what’s with that look?” He frowned; I said nothing as the god slowly fizzled out into thin air.

Hyacinthus had invited me to go out and hunt with him!

As expected of two skilled hunters, the trip went exceptionally well. Still, as we sprinted through the trees, I couldn’t help but sense the eyes of someone else; immediately knowing who it was. If Hyacinthus knew too, then he merely chose to ignore that suspiciously strong scent of spring. Still, I had a little sympathy for the intruder. The prince was easy to like, and I’m sure many have fallen for his bodily charms alone.

When we paused for a break, I said:

“Has anyone ever made a move on you before?”

Hyacinthus froze; I held in a chuckle. It was easy to see his attempt at holding my hand just as the question was asked.

“At least three other men have, but I’ve rejected them all.” He then quickly added, “That isn’t to say I’m only into woman though!”

I laughed. “Having trouble finding the right one?”

He stared a bit before suddenly grinning. “…Who knows, for all I know, I already have.”

My answer was a line I’ve paraphrased a hundred times. “Because I’m smart, talented, and very hot?”

“Maybe.” He inched closer. “But it’s also because of, or rather, how you smile.”

That response was a little… refreshing. A faint flush of red spread around my cheeks as I flashed a smirk, probably further proving his point. Then in the blink of an eye he leaned in; a hand holding my chin and his murmurs softer than any other breeze against my ear.

“May I?”

He only got a kiss in response.

However, even when the hunt was over and he was already making his way back home, I couldn’t help but… follow him back to Sparta, if only for a bit.

Turns out, Hyacinthus had showed up to his training with hundreds of flowers still intricately woven into his hair. It was hilarious how everyone else looked too scared to comment; well, except for Thamyris.

“What in the actual fuck?” He exclaimed.

“Okay, short version is: I fell asleep during the break after the hunting trip, so now there are a bunch of flowers in my hair.”

“Out of all of your suitors, you chose a god; hell, not just that, one of the fucking Olympians.”

“Who wouldn’t?”

I grinned, but then the other said: “Marpessa wouldn’t.”

…

Hyacinthus sighed. “Look, we all have our own preferences. Don’t tell me you’re jealous?”

“As if.” He turned around, about to leave. “Just don’t come back crying to me when shit goes downhill.”

I… suppose you could say that Thamyris had the kind of arrogance that reminded me of Marsyas. They both dabbled in music too. Hopefully he doesn’t end up making the same mistake that the satyr did. Thankfully, the prince seemed to be trying to ignore him.”

  “…You know you could’ve just said “Sorry I’m late, I stalked my date.”” Athena raised an eyebrow; yet her voice carried not a single trace of annoyance. Doing their father’s paperwork was a task she was well accustomed too, and a very boring one at that.

“Hey! For the record I didn’t stay any longer after that conversation he had with Thamyris. Plus, it’s not every day that I almost forget about my duties. I figured you’d want a thorough explanation.”

“Well, as long as it isn’t too thorough.”

The god laughed. “Oh wait, shit-” “What was I doing again?” His eyes scanned the documents he forgot he was holding.

The goddess sighed. There was but one thought in her mind.

‘This is going to start happening much more often now, isn’t it?’

And she was right.

A few days later, Hermes was swiftly flying through the halls until he stopped in front of the studio’s door. He carefully pushed it open, but despite being the lord of communication, he couldn’t utter a single word.  

It was late in the evening, and his brother wasn’t alone.

Apollo was sitting down, writing on a scroll, and behind him was a mortal curiously peering over his shoulder. Then the boy moved closer, and wrapped his arms around the blonde’s waist; tenderly whispering sweet nothings into his ear. To Hermes’ surprise, Apollo allowed himself to be pried away from his research.

The younger god decided to just slowly close the door.

Athena was right and apparently she didn’t seem to mind.

--------------

Thamyris wasn’t the only one with a complaint.

Hyacinthus was sitting under a cypress tree; trying to practice playing the lyre his lover had gifted him, when the breeze whispered into his ear.

“Look at it.” He said. “Your reflection in the water.”

The prince raised an eyebrow, but he glanced into the stream in front of him anyway. The top of his head was adorned with all sorts of flowers, no doubt due to the breath of the west wind.

“Hm… I think I liked it better when Apollo did it.”

Zephyr frowned; materializing seated down on his left.

“You’re not giving me a chance-”

“Except he already did.” Apollo sighed, suddenly appearing on Hyacinthus’ right. “For fates’ sake, take a hint and go blow someone else.”

The other god glared, but gave in, yet not before yelling something on a whim.

“So in one of the few times a mortal catches my fancy, you, who have already had many, get to have him instead?” He suddenly stood up. “You’re as greedy and insatiable with your lovers as you are with your domains.”

Apollo said nothing as the god disappeared into the wind.

Hyacinthus surprised him with a hug from behind.

“His argument is invalid. This isn’t just your choice, but mine as well.”

Still, after months and months of general bliss, the prince couldn’t help but ask:

“Those laurel wreaths you wear; they mean a lot to you, don’t they?”

The god felt his chest hurt. “Well, of course; there are many reasons as to why I care about them, one of them being that they remind me of something I shouldn’t ever forget because I don’t want to make a mistake like that ever again.”

There was a brief moment of hesitation before he continued.

“Hyacinthus?”

“Yeah?”

“Never doubt my feelings for you, okay?”

“I never did.”

“…even so, you really must know that, because of you, right now is the best I’ve ever felt in literal decades.”

“Oh don’t flatter me, sunshine.”

“You know I can’t lie. So really, trust me when I say that I’m here to stay.”

Hyacinthus’ eyes darted around the room as the musician’s head rested on his lap; the prince’s fingers twirling around in his golden locks. The floor was littered with paintings and marble statues of varying shapes and sizes scattered all over.

“Something caught your eye?” Apollo said as he saw his lover look at a painting of Crete. “You can take one of them home if you’d like.”

“Oh-” “Oh no it’s fine, really! I was just… enjoying the scenery.”

“Hm, you know I can take you there myself, right? Oooooh, imagine! A tour around Greece with yours truly.”

The boy smiled. His gaze shifted from a painting of Delphi to some art work of Leto, then Artemis, then Zeus, Athena and the rest of the other heavenly gods.

What he stared at the most were the ones next to those works about the Muses and the Thriae.

The names were many, Admetus, Cyrene, Branchus, Hecuba, Helenus… then there was Cassandra, Daphne, and an unfinished Coronis, and as he continued to look, the prince could’ve sworn he felt the god gently squeeze his hand.

“Everything alright, my Phoebus?”

The god smiled. “I’m just… tired.”

The prince leaned to give him a reassuring kiss.

Two years, or at least, about two years, their laughter almost lasted for about two years.

Alas, what’s two years in the life of an immortal that can never die?

--------------

Olympus’ garden was huge; its depths filled with paths most don’t even know of. It was here the two gods sat down on top of a small hill, right in front of a giant crevice that overlooked all of their creations.

“I hate how I can still feel a-” “and remember every single…”

Hermes was never good at these kinds of talks. “You wanna let it all out?”

Apollo sighed, carefully breathing in and then breathing out; repeating that process for a good minute.

Ai, ai, ai-

...

 “It was a morning like any other, or at least, it was supposed to be.

The prince was an athletic young man, much like us, and there were many things that were done on the field. One of them involved the discus. He’d always try to run and catch the disc once I had sent it hurling into the air.

…

The crack echoed- no, roared, and my body screamed like every bone in my system had snapped a hundred times over.

I was by his side in an instant, cradling him in my arms until he was nothing more than a poor flower that had broke its stem; all due to the breath of the west wind.

It was so… quiet and I was so close; close enough that I could feel him go, like I could reach out and grasp his hand to prevent his soul from drifting away. I felt it all: the desperate breaths, the steady weakening of his heart and that last flutter of his eyelids as he looked at me, as scared and overwhelmed as I was with all that was happening and yet I-

I still failed. I’m the god of healing and medicine and I was right there, I was so close and he still managed to slip away!

If only he could take me with him too.

It was like time itself ceased to exist, the exact second that last spark of life faded into the depths of Hades repeating on and on and on, again and again and again-

…

My arms were hugging a lump of ice by the time Artemis found me.”

 “…I heard you tried to murder Zephyrus?”

 “W-” “Well... I think I recall hearing father’s voice when I had rushed into the halls.

“Athena, Apollo’s neglecting his duties.” He said. “When was the last time you saw him walk into Olympus?”

“Give him some more time and I’m sure he’ll-”

It was then that someone, the bastard himself, had noticed me.

“Fear not my lord.” Zeus’ old messenger, the west shit, proudly exclaimed. “He’s already here!”

And indeed I was, fingers stained with crimson red; purple petals falling out of my hair.

A smile crept its way onto Zephyr’s lips. “You’re welcome.”

Needless to say, I immediately started chasing him with my bow.”

 “And then Athena stopped you, right?”

 --------------

It must’ve been quite the strange sight to behold for our winged eavesdropper. Apollo had a blank look in his eyes and Athena was standing in his way; Zephyr a little further down the hall behind her, curiously peaking over the corner.

Unbeknownst to any of them, Hermes was a lizard hiding inside of a jar.

“Athena, move.”

“Apollo,” Surprisingly, the goddess was perfectly calm. “Father has already retired him as his personal messenger, and he is now going to serve under Eros to repent for the very stupid thing he did in ‘the name of love’.”

“It’s not enough-”

“I know, and it’s never going to be enough.” Then she muttered. “Look, what happened with Pallas was much more justifiable than what this idiot wind bag did and even then, even if it was our father, to this day a tiny part of me is still pissed even if I knew he did it because he was worried about me.”

For a moment, the god was quiet. “Zephyr isn’t nearly as important.”

“But still crucial enough; I think it’d be best if we didn’t lose the west wind. Listen to your head, you know this isn’t worth it; it’s never going to be worth it.”

After a few seconds of silence, in the blink of an eye, Apollo was gone.

--------------

 “I really am unreasonable, aren’t I, Hermes? Crying over beings much lesser than myself…”

“You knew you had your heart set upon a mortal, so I guess it does sound foolish to grieve over their mortality but… I think we’re all a little unreasonable sometimes. On the brightside, I’m sure you’ll meet someone new eventually. You are Apollo after all.” He offers his friend a reassuring smile.

The blonde smiled back, yet his eyes were impossible to read. “I suppose…”

“Is there anything you want to say? To Hyacinthus, I mean, if I encounter him down in Hades.”

…

..

.

“If we should ever meet again

No matter how long the wait

No matter how many lifetimes it takes

My arms will be glad to welcome you in an embrace

Until then, just know

That even when man has forgotten my face

And I roam the world as nothing but a shade

Your memory will continue, forever living on

In all the flowers that the earth will cover itself, bearing your name

Goodnight, my sweet prince”

 And as Zeus’ newly appointed messenger left, Apollo decided to merely sing to himself; to sit on the hill and play his cithara for no one in particular but the random fauna that decide to stay and watch.

Athena was surprised to see him enter Olympus only a week after, even though she should’ve seen it coming. He is Apollo after all.

There were duties to fulfill.

------------------------------------------

(The original one I made)