#AND i don't have to write descriptive stuff
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Hi, a published author here, I write fic BECAUSE it doesn't need to be as polished or have the same level of technical skill as professional writing, and that makes me a 100 times more creative, because the pressure is off. I discover stuff I love the most when I write fic because it's not as "good".
So please, continue to read and write fic!! Don't take away from yourself or others what's the best thing about it! Anyone can do it and people will love it for the ideas, not the technical skill level!
In fanfic I can do things like write a 10 000 word chapter about characters getting to know each other through 20 questions, which my publisher would NEVER print, and yet it's consistently that type of chapters that people have told me are their favourites, because they, too, are just as obsessed as I am about just letting the dorks talk more.
I can also leave out basically all description and write just dialogue, and people have still told me they could see it right before their eyes, because they already know the relevant settings, they already love the characters and can imagine exactly how they would act and what kind of expressions they would make in that situation. That's a beautiful connection between fans.
Please, appreciate fanfic for what it is! It has so many things that just would not work in professional writing, and a lot of those things are why fanfiction is good.
I get that people want fanfic to be recognised as just as good a hobby as reading or writing other types of things, but the way to do it is not to turn it into something it isn't.
At some point "fanfic can be as good as professional writing" became "fanfic should be as good as professional writing" and that's caused major damage to fandom spaces.
#and when i say i take my fic as seriously as my original writing what i mean is that i'm deeply passionate about it#not that i strive for the same level of technical execution
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Okay I don't think I'm allowed to ask about all your WIPs (trust me if I could I would) and I want you to know that I am extraordinarily torn between Tan Lines canon divergence and Texts (how could you make me choose??? The cruelty!!! /j). But because Texts is so much less descriptive, I am VERY curious about it and will send my ask about that :) thank you so much and I hope you have a lovely day!
What are tag game rules, except waiting to be broken? ;) But excellent call on your part, really, as I got another ask for the Tan Lines one.
“Texts” is not only less descriptive, the thing itself is also exceedingly vague compared to the other WIP:s. It’s not even a proper fic, really… Basically, I got home from a night out, used a word generator to give myself a three word prompt while fairly sloshed, and somehow ended up playing around with one of those sites that lets you create fake text conversations. Now I have a vision of RJK shenanigans, only the whole thing is just texts, bc I'm weak for that sort of thing. Like this:
God knows where it's going or if it'll ever get done, though.
My day has been moderately lovely, and all the more so for all the inbox fic fun. I hope you’ve had a great day, too, and thank you so much for the ask! <3
#i've loved having you in my tags these past few days btw#please enjoy your stay#and thank you so much for the ask! <3#even though i suspect the answer is a little bit underwhelming#i think the thing that appeals the most to me about doing it only in texts#is both the fact that you can leave so much to imagination#AND i don't have to write descriptive stuff#which is Very Hard#royjamiekeeley#asks#tag game
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im not a writer so this doesn't have real dialogue. mad libs I guess. I imagine this happens often on their lunch dates hehe
#house#house md#house md fanart#hate crimes md#greg house#james wilson#wilson#hilson#house x wilson#fanart#sillyposting#slugs art#slugs posts#oh hey. im trying to write image descriptions for my art more consistently and I am open to feedback cause I don't really know what im doin#if you use image descriptions/are knowledgeable and you notice something amiss or have suggestions please feel free to tell me#cause I'd like to make my stuff as accessible as I can!#will go back and add descriptions to all my old art at some point. maybe tomorrow
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"If the structure of your world ever evaporates, I will still be here."
I think The Q might contain one of the greatest declarations of friendship/love ever.
#books#the q#beth brower#this seems clunkier out of context but trust me in context it's very moving#they're discussing how quincy's entire world is wrapped up in work#so even if she likes the people there if the business somehow disappeared she probably wouldn't see them again#because they all have other family/friends to go to and she doesn't really have any#leading to this promise#and let me tell you it's just about enough to make me believe in found family#because this works as a romantic or platonic declaration#it's a promise#a commitment to provide safety and stability when there's nowhere else to go#and i love it#this book is so odd because i liked it quite a bit last year#then rereading i was at first like 'why did i like this at all?'#there's no scene-setting or character description it's just kind of stuff there#but then the relationship starts to develop and i am SO invested#under normal rules it shouldn't take 100 pages for the story to get good but in this case it's worth it#it's such an odd structure#each chapter is almost like its own little short story#or a character sketch#almost like the character have stopped to discuss their own character worksheet#but in context it somehow works#and it drives home how much traditional publishing and writing rules stifle creativity#because your average editor would look at this and try to smooth it over#make it all into one flowing narrative#and it would lose so much of what makes it unique and compelling#following the rules of 'good writing' robs you of all the stories that don't follow those rules#there is so much scope outside of the one 'best practice' that is currently in fashion#and those stories need to get told too!
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[ID: A digital comic with a simple drawing style. It consists of long text that is accompanied by small drawings, matching what is said in the text. The text reads as follows: "I've always been a big reader. I was treating earlier and faster than most of my peers my whole childhood. [Three books: one is titled "Magic treehouse" and has the caption "kindergarten", one is titled "Harry Potter" and has the caption "first grade" and the last one is titled "Percy Jackson" and has the caption "third grade".] and my tastes have alwaystended towards the magical. fairytales, myths, and fantasy have been longtime favourites as far back as I can remember.
As I got older, my tastes didn't change all that much. They did expand, to being ok with things like horror, violence (and mild gore), death... As children's tastes tend to do. But I still loved fantasy stories just as much. When I hit eighth grade, however, they noticed a bit of a problem. I was getting a bit old for a lot of the middle-grade fiction books I liked. I thought: "Okay, sure! I've read adult-level books with no problem before, I'll just head for the fantasy section!" I asked a couple of friends for book recommendations, and culture reading except… [A drawing of many different scraps from books, all clearly from romantic and/or steamy scenes] ... All of it was just so stuffed with sex and romance. [A drawing of a person shaking their heads in disbelief and saying "ew" while reading the book, with an arrow pointing to them saying, "14 and very aro/ace"]
Needless to say, I did not want to read those books (and haven't to this day.) Thought bubble of the person just described continuing: okay, this is probably just my friend's stuff. I know they like these kinds of things. I'll just look for myself! [A drawing of a person standing in front of a big bookshelf that is labeled "young adult and teen fantasy". There are many different phrases pointing to the box on the shelf. The phrases read: "sex scene on the first page", "sex", "twilight", "romance "' subplot'", viscerally upsetting description of making out", "fade to black sex scene", "no sex but only technically", "sexy elves", essentially a romance really", "insane amounts of kissing".]... you gotta be kidding.
Over the years since then, I've tried to find fantasy stories that I can actually enjoy. [A drawing of a list titled "typically good". The bullet point read: D and D based (sex jokes but party focused), comics, fanfic, older media (pre-90s), MG fiction (last resort)] I've had some success at finding patterns that work for me, but a lot of these categories are very digital. (At least for me.) And because of that, all the time I once spent reading is now on my phone.
I don't really know where this is going, or what the solution is. Most people do like sex and romance, and reading about them. And this is just a thing for making a terrible comic day. I think it's pretty common for aro and/or ace people to feel left out, since so often these are treated as universal ideals. But to anyone feeling that way: I promise you are not alone. Also, allos: get better writing material, seriously. And better friends, since yours are apparently so terrible you can't write deeply meaningful relationships without kissing. (Half joking.) / End ID]
Note: this image description is not fully complete, as I left out some smaller drawings that I couldn't add into the text in a way that makes sense and weren't crucial for understanding. Also, I apologize if this description isn't clear to people who use screen readers but I do not know how to make it any better. If you have any suggestions, tell me please.
My (late) contribution for Make A Terrible Comic Day! I've been going to the library more often lately so this has been coming up a lot, cause I want something to read but have had trouble finding anything that I'm comfortable with.
If anyone has recommendations please please let me know because I am struggling.
#I'm not romance-repulsed but the older I get the more aspec I get apparently because I'm growing more tired of romance ansd sex in books#so this is a mood and a real issue#check out the notes on this post there are so many romance or sex free book suggestions#aromantic#aro#asexual#ace#aspec#boosting aro art#romance free books#sex free books
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PSA:
If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)
Might be worth it to get your blood checked.
Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).
Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.
So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c)
Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health??
I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...
Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???
Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.
Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking.
Yeah. So.
Happy new year?
From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx
#Apologies for the silence here#Been going through a lot if you can imagine lol#I have a bunch of asks and messages to catch up to#I'm so sorry for taking forever#It might take me a bit longer still but I promise I'll get back on here at some point hopefully soon#Your messages mean so much to me<3#Take care everyone <3#Also#the description of Nathan's experience could and would still be rather accurate#even if you don't have these physical health issues!!#Depression and anxiety etc from a deficiency is still depression and anxiety#+ when I write Nathan I have a set of mental health “maps” or “guides” for his character (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD)#Yes I use my own feelings and experiences to describe his anxiety etc#But his character is built around specific mental health markers / trauma research / symptoms etc (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD)#So I'm pretty sure Nathan's POV would still look very similar based on just that research and ignoring the stuff in this post#Hope this all makes sense :'o
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Everything's Coming Up Hajime
The following drabbles (they're little scenes of different things with some more detailed than others because a fic was too ambitious for me :'>>>) completely and wholly inspired by and dedicated to @gliittergelpens for their headcanon post on Hajime (found here) and also the connected follow up interaction here. Go check 'em out :D! And I hope you enjoy this :).
Bleary lights. Bright. Dreary.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
NO!
Bolt, bolted, he can’t move, why can’t he move? Everything’s not okay, why is he here again? Where are they? Get to the corner, get to the corner, he can’t move he can’t move!- (why is he prolonging the inevitable? He hasn’t done that in so long)
Pressure starts compounding on his chest. He shakes. He doesn’t want to go again, it’s going to be another round of tests again, he didn’t know he agreed to this! Let go, let go, let GO!
“Hajime.”
They never call him that. He is the subject, their project, the plaything to rip apart because he is nothing more than an experiment. He is not a person. He is not Hajime.
“Hajime.” They repeat. “It’s Makoto.”
Makoto?
He doesn’t recognize-
Makoto Naegi.
He blinks. His body slumps. As if his body was lead, his head slowly turns toward the source.
“Makoto Naegi” was never one of the researcher’s names. He knows, because he remembered each and every one, even if he didn’t want to. No, Makoto Naegi is someone else entirely, someone who isn’t associated with the Project.
Sage-coloured irises meet his gaze first. They are warmer than any of the researchers’ eyes.
…He isn’t in a lab, is he?
“Muh-” He winces. His voice sounds terrible.
“Hey, drink up.” Makoto commands, not unkindly. “I know you’ve been in there for a while, but try your best.”
A glass of water is held to his lips and once they hit, his lips burn, but he downs it gratefully anyway. His throat protests in agony.
“Do you know where you are and what happened, Hajime?”
Hajime stretches, pops coming from all his atrophied joints. “W-we- ugh, Jabberwock Island. K-cough-illing game.” The Killing Game. At the reminder, adrenaline starts coursing through him, and he immediately lurches out of the pod.
Makoto gently pushes him back.
“Yes. The other survivors are awake, but they do not hold the memories you do.”
“W-what about everyone else? What happened to them?”
“They’re still in the pods.” He tries jumping out again. “BUT!” Makoto blurts out. “BUT they’re okay. They’re not in the killing game right now. They seem to have created their own worlds-”
“What can I do to wake them up?” He quickly interrupts.
“Oh, um, I was going to get to that part.” A small smile stretches on his face. “I knew you’d want to help. I would’ve been the same.”
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Darkness.
He feels so tired.
He hasn’t felt this tired in… so long. Everything… is so tiring.
Lights threaten to blind him.
No.
Let him sleep.
Let him sleep…
“Hey, Nagito... it’s Hajime.”
He stirs. Hajime?
He looks at the tanned skin, eyeing the scars on the undersides of his eyes, further littered over his arms, and then tracing back to his equally scarred lips, that were currently sipping on a cup in his hands.
“Ha-jime.” He croaks. Wordlessly, Hajime provides him some water. With weak hands, he reaches out toward the cup, and manages to squeeze enough of a firm grasp on it. Hajime continues sipping while he slowly gulps down the offered water.
“Ahem,” He coughs. “Hinata, my apologies. …What happened?”
“You’re one of the last few to wake up, Komaeda.” Hajime replies, and notably, provides no context. “What do you remember?”
The question sparks his silence. His mouth purses into a deeply thin line. He eyes the man in front of him. Is there something he must have forgotten? “...Nothing particularly pleasant.” He decides on.
Hajime scrutinizes him. He stays quiet. Hajime slumps over with a sigh. “Okay, fair enough. Your pod opened, but you wouldn’t wake up. You’re in the hospital now.”
He looks around. Yes, he gathered that. The white walls and bright fluorescent lighting weren't foreign to him, he would recognize such a place no matter where he was. He could voice that, but there are more pressing concerns.
“I’m afraid I still don’t understand. How did I get here?”
“We went through a rehabilitation program.”
“Ah.” The memories are hitting him now. “Yes, sorry, I do remember us Remnants being captured for such a thing, although I don't remember much else.” He hums, looking the other up and down. “It worked, then?”
“That depends. How do you feel? About, you know, hope and despair and all that.”
“Well,” He chuckles, “if you’re worried I’m going to blow up this hospital in the pursuit of ‘a greater hope’, you would be greatly mistaken.”
Hajime breathes out a sigh of relief. “But I imagine my luck could affect that greatly. It's very fortunate you could balance it out.” The other gazes away from him, looking down in thought. How curious. Was it something he said?
He subtly tilts his head. The brunet covertly glances around, as if he was watching for something. Piercing eyes returns to meet his. “You can't get up to any crazy shit just because I can do that.” The other jokingly chastises, but his eyes remained guarded.
He nods with an smile. “Oh, I would never.” To anyone, it would simply be him teasing. However, he can tell Hajime's trying to hide something about his talents, and someone here is watching them. He wonders who would cause such paranoia.
Hajime fills him in on what occurred, being saved by the "Future Foundation" (oh, it's them.) and particularly specific members (Makoto! As in Makoto Naegi, The Ultimate Hope Makoto? Yes Komaeda, just keep it in your pants.), as well as explaining Nagito’s status, his mental and physical state (still affected by his pre-existing conditions, albeit less so), and the new addition to his body.
He turns it. He didn't even notice he had a new arm. It feels seamless, although the metal is strange to feel underneath his fingertips.
“I had to replace it.” Hajime explains. “The dead tissue was threatening to spread to the rest of your body if it was kept there. It was fine when we were hooked up to the pods since that was preserving it, but since you went into a coma, we had to act fast.”
“Hmm.” He curls his newfound metallic fingers. He sends him a smile. “It seems I owe a lot of my gratitude to you, Hinata, for helping trash like me.”
There's a pause. “We'll work on that,” is the response Hajime settles with. “...Do you want to meet everyone else?”
He freezes. Everyone else?
Although he doesn't know why, he feels himself pale completely and his body shivers. Everything in him feels cold, as if the temperature dropped, as if his whole body rejected the very idea of something he was otherwise only semi-wary about. He knows he had many reasons before to feel apprehensive around his former classmates, given his past transgressions during his time as a Remnant and theirs, but this feels... bone-chilling. Buried deep within his psyche, perhaps connected to the memories he doesn't have.
“What happened in the program.” He bluntly states, rather than asks.
“No one else remembers too, if that helps.” Hajime starts. It doesn't. “Even I barely remember it. Everyone has felt snippets though, things they avoid subconsciously, or they experience nightmares about it.” He wonders if Hajime has nightmares. He wonders what Hajime avoids. “It was broadcast-”
“I want to watch it.”
Hajime's jaw tightens. “It wasn't that type of broadcast. It wasn't recorded, it was just shown to Makoto and the other survivors. Besides, it's best you don't anyway. You're going to remember something about it.”
“How cynical. What if all I remember are pleasant things?” Nagito inquires, even if he knows the likelihood of that is so astronomically low. He is aware of himself. He knows being put into a situation like the Killing Game would just mean he'd have made very elaborate plans and schemes. Thinking that, a sharp pain in his abdomen sears through him, and he winces. It's a whisper of a feeling, but it felt... real.
Hajime merely lets out a defeated sigh. “I hope it is, Komaeda, I hope it is.”
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Throughout everything, this was the last thing he thought about.
The scars.
For the longest time, he forgot about the scars. For the briefest of moments, his complexion wasn’t completely covered by raised bumps, of angry red tissue, of the careless abandon from scientists who dissected him to fit their molds of perfection.
And now he’s left looking into the mirror, tracing. His fingers feel the ridges. He remembers the scalpel digging into his eye, even if he didn’t feel the pain of it. He looks at the angry lines along his muscles, his thighs, and he knows with certainty it can be traced down to his feet, the bathroom counter being the only reason he can’t see the reflection of it. He remembers exactly what they forcibly fused together, being haunted by the ghosts of the sutures that were once there.
This is who he sees looking back at him.
…Mikan cleans the glass away from his fist.
[He could’ve done it himself, but it would’ve been a messier job, much like with anything else he would try nowadays.]
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Hajime is out training with Nekomaru, alongside Akane, and casually working out with them.
Nekomaru points out the bandages that suddenly replace his glove, and he waves them off. “Just an accident.”
After a decent workout, he starts heading back to his cabin to shower when he spots Fuyuhiko to the side, relaxing against a wall.
“Hey.” He greets.
“Yo.” The former yakuza head nods.
They watch those on the beach, a tall orange blurb chases after a red one, their laughter filling the air as suddenly they're jumped by an even louder multicoloured blurb cackling with mischief. He can hear Hiyoko's distant cursing while Mikan rushes over, fretting. He snorts.
Fuyuhiko crosses his arms, a smile on his face at the scene. “Can’t believe we get to have this.”
“I know.” He agrees. He’d do anything to ensure everyone here stayed happy like this. Speaking of, he has to make sure to check on the next shipment of supplies afterward. He refuses to have those Future Foundation workers anywhere near the Island otherwise. But first, shower.
He's about to leave when-
“What’s with the bandages?” The former yakuza asks.
He contemplates lying. The last thing he wants is for everyone to start worrying about him. As if aware of his thoughts, Fuyuhiko sends him a particularly scathing glare, menacing even with the eyepatch. He fesses up immediately.
“I punched a mirror.”
“Why?”
“My scars-” He starts.
Fuyuhiko quickly interjects. “There’s nothing wrong with them.”
“Part of me understands that, but I look at them and just see…” Hope's Peak. The Hope Cultivation Project. The Remnants of Despair. He squeezes his bandaged hand. “...bad memories.”
“Yeah, I feel that.” Almost subconsciously, Hajime glances at Fuyuhiko’s scar, hidden behind black cloth. Fuyuhiko meets his gaze, unflinching. “I hate thinking about having that bitch’s eye in me.”
“How do you do it?” How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How do you live with yourself? How do you not hate yourself?
“Being a former yakuza, scars were symbols of respect. This scar?” He gestures to it. “It’s a reminder I’m not some psychotic fuck anymore under that bitch’s heel.
I know I’m not you, Hajime. I don’t have the amount you have. But know that your scars show that you’ve survived, and you’ve made it out the other side. That’s admirable.
And ain’t nobody here went through the type of shit you did. We all look up to you. You’ve had this whole thing on your shoulders. Nobody thinks you’re damaged goods with those scars. Hell, we think of them as a reminder that you’re the strongest out of all of us.”
“...Thanks, Fuyuhiko.”
“No problem. Now you should go take a shower, you smell like shit.”
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Hajime waits in front of the screen. In no time, Chiaki's grinning face pops up. “Hey Hajime. It's nice to see you. How're you doing today?”
They talk amicably. Even though she wasn't his former friend, the reminder of her AI was comforting, and in the few pleasant dreams he had, he remembered her presence (and in the worser ones, he remembered her death).
“-There's a call for you by the way, I think. It's from Makoto.” He nods. “Thanks Chiaki.”
She patches him through, and he finds it so striking the difference between now and the tentativeness from the beginning, back when they were still establishing Jabberwock Island. Signal seemed daunting, and they (him, Makoto, and Byakuya) were still trying to get Chiaki's AI booted back up. He remembers when they first suggested she try to call the Future Foundation (particularly Aoi, since Hajime refused to have the new Future Foundation head or some random member appear on the screen, since he'd contemplate breaking the nice monitor in half from sheer rage). “It's not what I’m programmed to do,” Chiaki had said, “but… I can try.”
Of course, Makoto and himself exchange pleasantries and talk for a bit, but then it derails into... less pleasant topics. “I'm hoping to finish up the layout for Hope's Peak.”
He tightens a hand over his glove, pursing his lips. “Makoto. I’m glad you want to reclaim yourself, but Hope’s Peak? Really?” He hisses, and Makoto sighs, as if they had this same argument over and over again.
They have, by the way. Relentlessly. He is NOT getting over this, not by a long shot. He already knows how much Makoto invested into the project, but he’s still of the very firm belief he should’ve invested zero. Of course, he wouldn’t taint their rare ability to chat with one another about it, but he isn’t above reminding Makoto if he brings it up, just to be petty.
But being TRAUMATIZED WATCHING YOUR FRIENDS GET MURDERED is one of the many valid reasons for having absolutely NO interest in seeing the place that tortured him, everyone he cares about, Makoto, everyone Makoto cares about, and basically THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD, come back to existence.
He loves Makoto, he does, and he knows Makoto’s a good guy, but…
The idea of Hope’s Peak not being some fucked up breeding ground for hope and despair? It doesn’t seem possible. Part of the problem in the first place was the idea of pitting students against each other, forcibly defining people's significance based on whether they had “talent” or not. As well, they really sucked at developing talented people's talent, giving arbitrary assignments (from what he heard) and no actual practicality applied. He would know. His body is literally littered with their failure.
And the Future Foundation providing a substantial amount of the funds for this project? Hajime has no doubt in his mind that there’s something underlying their generosity.
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It's looking to be another sleepless night, despite the weight under his eyes begging for relief. Hajime just stares at the ceiling. He feels the body beside him shift the bed, creaking it ever so slightly, and in his peripherals Nagito faces him. Nagito has always been a bit of a restless sleeper (not that he blames him), so he isn't surprised to hear him ask, “What’s on your mind, Hajime?”
He sighs. “I’m just worried about the whole Hope's Peak idea.”
“You don’t believe in Makoto?”
He quickly flips onto his side to frown at Komaeda for the sheer idea. “I believe in him, I don’t believe in anyone else.”
“Well, I can’t help but feel a little hurt…”
“You know how I feel about you.”
Nagito hums. “Do I?” He smirks. “How do you feel, Hajime?”
Why is he turned this way again? He flips back around, ignoring the way his ears start to warm up.
“...Shut up and go to sleep already.”
He hears Nagito chuckle behind his back. It settles eventually though. Ah, Nagito finally went to bed.
“You know,” Nagito's voice pipes up, still awake after all. His voice sounds a little whimsical, as if nearly about to sleep. “I don't necessarily disagree with you. I thought it was a place of great hope, and the fact it's being run by the Ultimate Hope is quite amazing. But...
There's you. And the hope in you has been shining so brightly this whole time.”
He freezes. Did he just-?
The words spark something in him. As if they sounded familiar.
He gets a rush that tea- nor even caffeine back when it did anything for him- has never achieved. When he eventually does sleep that night, his dreams are pleasant.
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It's one of those rare instances Makoto lands on Jabberwock Island and can say hi to everyone. They meet at the small restaurant on the Island where Hajime prepares some tea for himself. He offers it to Makoto, who takes it gratefully.
Much like their video chats, the start talking about what's currently going on when Makoto- once again- mentions Hope's Peak.
Hajime lowers his cup.
“I'm going to be reinstating talents at Hope’s Peak.”
His fingers clutch his glove. He digs them in, sharp and quick, his lips immediately pulling down into a frown.
“Did… someone force you to do this?”
“Uh, no?” Makoto averts his gaze. “I’ve consulted with basically everyone since you’ve started getting me a little paranoid…”
“You should be. The Future Foundation doesn’t deserve you. You’re way too good for them.”
“They're trying to change.” Makoto states, with not much conviction.
Hajime hums skeptically. Sure they are. “Just watch out for yourself, yeah? Because the first thing I’ll do is leave this island just to kick their asses. I don’t need an Ultimate to make them into ragdolls.”
Makoto chuckles, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “...You must’ve practiced that.”
“Being around Fuyuhiko and Akane tends to give you some badass lines.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
It starts like a regular day. Things break, people fight, problems arise, he deals with it. When he sees the broadcast, he doesn't know how to deal with it.
“Oh, Makoto's on TV. How exciting.” Nagito mentions offhandedly, as if it was something as casual as the weather. It decidedly is NOT. Is Makoto okay? Why would he be broadcasted? Is this another...?
“-ing Hope's Peak,” He catches the tail end of. “In this world, there's nothing more important than banding together to fix the Tragedy that occurred. Rejoice with me as your new headmaster. Alongside the Future Foundation, we'll bring forth a new hope together!” Hajime cringes, and cringes hard. This doesn't sound like Makoto at all. The Future Foundation logo is the last image of this blatant ad, what the fuck, but he's seen enough.
He knows exactly how to deal with this.
He strolls into the new Future Foundation headquarters (although that may be underselling it). Instantly, upon seeing him, people start shrieking and running. Red lights blink in and out. He brushes it off. It’s the last of his damn worries right now.
He's rushed by armoured guys. He suddenly feels like he should've thought this through, but he continues on. He slips himself into the old Remnant persona like an ill-fitting jacket, paired with a little Ultimate Actor prowess. “Let me through or I'll make sure your families have nothing to put into a casket.” Okay, not his best work, but it's enough for them to back off. They watch him. He even hears one guy cowering in fear from behind. It's that which allows him to catch the guy's arm and dislocate it. Everyone jumps at the sudden violence, and the guy screeches.
He knows it's fixable, but he still feels bad. The mask he wears threatens to slip, but he keeps going until he gets to the new Future Foundation head. (Hajime met her before through a forced video call, with them threatening to interfere at Jabberwock Island if he wasn't capable enough. “I am Sumiko Hatanaka,” they introduced themselves. “Ultimate Administrator. Given the circumstances the Future Foundation is currently in, I have become appointed as the temporary replacement head provided my previous experience and commitment to my work.”)
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing.” He sneers.
“How are you here?” She asks. “What are you doing here?”
“That wasn’t my question.”
He sees a sheen of nervousness across their forehead, but they don't let up their frown.
“Why are you here, Hajime Hinata, Remnant of Despair?”
Why is he here? Why is he HERE?
“What gave you the right to use Makoto for some ad for Hope's Peak? What the hell are you doing, exposing him further to the public? Do you know what this could do to him?”
“I assure you, I have no vested interest in letting a valued employee be defaced in any way, shape, or form. His mental faculties are highly important to this company. Meanwhile, you are jeopardizing the very people you wished to protect by coming here. Was it worth it?”
He growls, “Leave Makoto the fuck alone, or I’ll remind you why I was a Remnant.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Makoto’s Hope’s Peak is in full operation. He doesn't know if he'll ever visit. So instead, Hajime is left pondering the future, and living on the Island with the rest of his classmates.
He genuinely hopes nothing bad will happen, but...
He wouldn't bet that it won't.
#hajime hinata#danganronpa#sdr2#the whole class of sdr2#future foundation#makoto naegi#nagito komaeda#komahina#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#angst#fluff#hurt/comfort#drabbles#long post#tw gore#but like canon-typical i think#i don't get that descriptive it's just like in-game stuff#references to the killing game (including deaths)#im so glad for these hcs bc i learned how much i love hajime and seeing him be able to vent and be reminded he's loved#(spoilers for this) the title is ironic#even when i was writing this i thought hajime going to ff hq was kinda ooc but i did it bc would love the ff catching hajime's hands#oc mention#that i created purely just for this idk i couldnt think of anyone fitting since i dont know much about the FF#this was roughly edited#i kinda have further ideas but we're sticking with this for now haha this is already pretty long
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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i've read both heatwaves (and steph's story, but that's a rant for another time) and i just wanted to chime in because "stuff happened and then unhappened" is the BEST description i can possibly think of for heatwaves.
the plot absolutely doesnt have any stakes until the last... i dunno, 4 or 5 chapters? and also the pivot it makes from "inciting incident = the car breaking down and now they don't have a means of getting to their show on time" to "we're really not going to think about that and instead try to solve this deeply entrenched small town political drama for no reason at all" is just fucking wild! it's wild! it makes no sense at all.
writing wise, it was much more "enjoyable" to read when you compare it to steph's story, the prose itself flowed better -- but does that mean that the CONTENT of the prose was good? nah nah nah. not at all.
i also agree with you on the whole "how alex was treated" in terms of her character. steph as well, to some degree-- but at least she was written that alex "i'm actually secretly prepubescent boy" chen. i will never get over that bit where alex was like... struggling to keep her eyes away from this one girl's chest??? like literally having trouble??? focusing on the conversation bc she was distracted by a pair of boobs???? like girl. GIRL. we been KNOW that steph is unfortunately flat as a board, completely unblessed in the boob department, but what the fuck???? jesus. so completely out of character for her, it felt WEIRD.
and yeah as for chenrich in general, there was little to none. and even worse? it felt like their relationship REGRESSED since canon. like this is supposed to POST-TRUE COLOURS, why the hell did it feel like they both went backwards in terms of their development. i expected so SO much more, but nah. super fucking disappointed overall.
that being said, it had better prose writing than steph's story. as much as steph's story INFURIATED me and completely ruined one of my favourite characters, at least the plot made more sense and was semi-better paced. but... i guess that's more or less to do with the fact that rosiee thor actually had an end point already put in place for them to write towards. and from experience, knowing an ending makes writing a plot much easier in general. brittney morris had nothing to work with, and so Nothing became the plot.
Absolutely controversial review on 'Heatwaves' freshly out of the oven
okay, so this book is FUCKING INSANE.
and I don't mean it necessarily good.
I told someone in my comment section that I'm more or less positive about this book, but at the time I only reached the middle of the book and, well...
Let me lay out the facts first.
This book features:
• Pathological Altruism and God's Complex of Alex Chen
• Steph carrying the only brain cell
• Sapphic Drama™
• Many many flashbacks of Chen Family trauma
• Shit load of political drama
• And the equal amount of Daddy Issues
• A couple references both to Steph's Story and True Colors
• Immaculate voice acting from Erika Mori (this woman has range)
• Me, feeling sorry for Steph every chapter
Ahem. Now more in-depth and, as I hope, more coherent thoughts about Heatwaves. As was agreed between me and @areyouintogirlsorwhat, who listened to me yelling about it, I would describe this book as:
Shit happened. And also unhappened.
Let me just tell that, coming from me, as Alex and Steph are my dearest, I had a REALLY hard time with Alex in this book. A huge chunk of book is just Alex trying to understand that she doesn't need to overuse her powers to help people and- Well. It took her many pages to understand that even though all the events happen within only 2 days. It was really intense.
As for the setting, we enter Barbazal, a small town in Colorado, where we are just mashed into a big ass election drama. Yeah, election. Big Sigh. Actually super boring exposition and I didn't care much about most of the characters there, except some and pretty much in the end.
God knows, I was busy internally screaming at Alex.
Alex is. A lot in this book. And the worst thing, I can believe that canonically she would became a person from this book. I try to avoid spoilers as much as I can. But let's just say. SHE NEEDED TO STOP AND THINK FOR LITERALLY A SECOND AND THEN THIS BOOK WOULDN'T HAVE HALF OF ITS DRAMA.
Steph though? Is absolutely great. When I said she carries the only braincell out of the two of them I meant it. I was really feeling for her the whole book with how patient she was with Alez and how much she allowed her to do, still being at her side the whole time. And I mean it when I say that sometimes Alex could use Steph's angrier side.
Okay, I'm feeling like I'm too bitter about this book.
Actually it has so much potential. It makes a great job exploring Alex's character, her flaws, her thoughts, her powers, her overall feelings towards things. And I love how many flashbacks of her we have in book. Erika's voice breaking each time she says 'Dad', Alex always wondering how things could've been for her... She actually has character growth going on in this book. And it fills in some empty spaces the game has left. So even if I have a strong opinion about her certain choices, I really like how controversial she was there, because in the end it still makes her a really deep imperfect protagonist.
I didn't really care for the plot until it became super intense and insane. I thought I was going to explode reading the 16-18 chapters, because it had so much going on.
But, well, it still was an enjoyable experience nonetheless, BIG THANKS to Erika Mori who voiced it, I don't think I would've enjoyed it as much if it wasn't for her mad acting skills. Her acting as Steph is actually the cutest thing.
So yeah. My honest opinion? A solid 7/10 for me, but again, Erika makes me biased.
The plot is not really interesting, I suggest buying the audiobook specifically to hear Alex expressing all her emotions in character, really compensates for all the dubious shit she does.
I still would've bought it, even if I knew how much I would scream.
However, if you're not a big fan of Alex, I don't think you would like this book. If you want to read this book purely for Chenrich, I also think you will disappointed because even though they are still there, being cuties, their relationship is only a 25% of the book. And yes, again, there're many controversial things going on, so if you have hard time reading your fav making shitty decisions, maybe you should spare yourself.
Thank you for reading this review, will be happy to hear your thoughts if you read the book or if you have any questions and don't mind spoilers.
#lis#listc#heatwaves#lis novel#listc novel#lis heatwaves#chenrich#ohhh it was a trip reading both of those novels.#a BAD trip.
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[Image Description: a set of five edited bug fables screenshots from the pre-battle zommoth encounter. The first is the same as in-game, Kabbu saying "W-What is that!? Something's coming!" The second is of zommoth appearing on screen with its sprite edited to be various shades of pink and yellow, wings the same pattern as Leif's (but still with the purple blight magic stuff in the chest area.) The next three images have the sprite edited in the same way.. The third image is of Leif's saying "...Wh, Rkejrm-m-Muse!? Kjdrira, mebsrgr...!!!" The next is Kabbu saying "Muse!? Leif, that's..." The final is Vi saying "T-That doesn't make any sense!" End ID]
I thought about one of my fucked up and evil au ideas for five minutes again, so I decided to spend like fifty hours making a thing about it. Basically what if Muse went back into Snakemouth later to try to rescue Leif or at least bring back his body and got caught by the roaches.
Putting just the edited sprites under the cut if you wanna see those without the lab mood lighting:
#bug fables#bug fables spoilers#muse bug fables#or as I've been saving my files for this as:#Zommuse#:3#Leif bug fables#despite taking a super long time (not actually fifty hours but it felt like it) this was fun!#I am so much more comfortable with writing than visual art stuff but since I don't have any specific thoughts on the scenario#past this moment this is a way easier way to get my thought across in slightly more description than my one paragraph up there#eyedropped all the colors off Muze and Grandpa's sprites and then played with them a bit to make them go together nicer#part of the length was me figuring out how to do stuff and part of it was because I had to stitch some stuff together inconveniently#as I said earlier: aa spoiled me. what with having all the game assets and backgrounds either conveniently already extracted#or at least mechanically very easy to get myself because it's all just pixels and all the bits are on different layers!#(also storywise I usually tend to go with giving muse fire magic when I'm thinking things. but keeping the blight was easier shorthand.#and also all those times she's more on leif's end of the cordyceps spectrum. mind more there. so.)
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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#im about to FREAK OUT bcs of my boss#like yes i'm so thankful and happy to be employed. really.#but my boss is so#it feels like he's never doing anything.... he's only in the office max 2 days per week and idk#hes just very strange#but the worst thing is that he just takes his own work and dumps it on me#which is fine in some ways! like i sometimes just sit around with no work to do#so then it's good to have something to do#but today... not only did i already have a shit ton of work to do but#he tells me to book a hotel for a conference they're having ?? and that's not even near what's in my work description??????#(i basically just do numbers rn. i sit with spreadsheets and move numbers around and stuff like that)#and the worst part is that he told me i cant email them... i must call........#and i get that this sounds super silly to those who don't have a fear of speaking on the phone but#it makes me freak the f out#i cant even talk on the phone with my parents. or my brother. or a friend. like genuinely just no i cant#it brings out so so much anxiety in me#i get dizzy just thinking about it#and again this is really really not even similar to anything in my job description ???? i wouldn't have signed up if i knew i had to do thi#and when i have things that i need to do but i physically cant then my brain just goes into pause mode and i don't do anything at all#instead of doing one of the many things i *could* do (like write an email anyway)#there's just no way im gonna be able to call but idk what my boss is gonna think if i mail.... because he specifically said that i must cal#rrGGG im just so frustrated!!!!!#and i needed to get this out.... soz for the rant#i just think i would cry (genuinely) if i were to make that call#alSO BECAUSE THE INSTRUCTION IS SO UNCLEAR LIKE ALWAYS WITH THIS GUY#I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO#gonna go drink a lot of water so i dont cry now 👍 sorry bye
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one of the lesser talked about fun things about intentionally reading more books is finding new stuff to be a bit of a hater about tbh
#and i know sometimes im probably just not properly picking up whatever the writer is putting down but whatever it's still fun#to actually know what you think about stuff like the highly regarded classics and extremely popular hyped up things#here are a few writers im a bit of a hater about w my opinions now btw#neil gaiman: does not do it for me at alllll#have read the graveyard book and american gods and hated almost every minute of both#in american gods i just found the aesthetic ideas and characters completely unappealing and in the graveyard book#i thought it was dreary and not well described enough... kept feeling like it was too bare bones in some way to picture things properly#i was like 'hmm i wish this was one of his graphic novels instead bc i'd like to be able to see what's going on here a bit better...'#also his humour just never lands for me and i do not often get his references either#ray bradbury annoys me in a similar way to neil gaiman but also somewhat oppositely like where#the way they write characters and plots and ideas and the stuff they care about gets on my nerves in an almost identical way#that i don't know how to define except to say i had a bit of a 'same energy' experience reading Something Wicked This Way Comes#and some of neil gaiman's stuff#but unlike neil gaiman i think that ray bradbury attempts to describe things unusually so much and TOO much#to the point that it takes me out of the story in a different yet similar way#to how the lack of description in neil gaiman's stuff does#what else have i become a bit of a hater about or did not get the appeal of lately? hmmm#oh hp lovecraft hahahaha#least scary stories ever god everything he's scared of is so dumb#like even aside from his extremely racist takes and fear of the 'exotic other' his fears about being cosmically insignificant are just like#yeah and? whats so scary about that hahaha i literally just dont get it#also the amount he writes dialogue in heavy accents annoys the shit out of me#p
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there's people who have incredible levels of talent for worldbuilding and subtle storytelling and even visual effects and they use it to make intricately crafted interconnected ASMR videos with fucking lore and shit and most people will NEVER know because they fall the fuck asleep
#look up atmosphere asmr i am begging you#she does THE WHOLE THING herself. the writing the acting the editing the props THE MODELING OF THE 3D BACKGROUNDS#and the lore is so fucking deep it has its own wiki with fucking MAPS and detailed descriptions and backstories for characters#and it's not like One story in One setting that goes on chronologically with every new video#it's some fucking time travel/dimension travel/fantasy AND sci-fi/not always in order stuff#like you'll have one video that's like ''elf gives you a facemask :)''#and you find out that the elf exists between dimensions and is the sister of a previous character and Oh this takes place after THAT video#spielberg who the fuck. anastasia atmosphere can do movies so good#also ephemeral rift has cool lore too but there's So much of it that i genuinely don't know too much about it yet#despite having been watching rift for like. Years. margaret my beloved
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That’s either a woman with no style or a stupid man
#gintama#gintama fanart#my art#gintama redraw#gintoki sakata#our sugar king#the umbrella the freaking umbrella#benizakura arc#i have this weird urge to draw this scene every time I watch a Benizakura arc adaptation#i love this scene#it's so goddamn beautiful in each adaptation#i'm still bad at umbrellas but i learned a lot drawing this one from the movie and the live action#stupid stupid man#gonna begin adding descriptions but i'm kind of bad at describing stuff so i apologise in advance#that's why i draw and i don't write
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it took a week but FINALLY. done fixing the parts that i hated in part two. and deleted the most recent bits since i'm changing this entire section. but now i'm leaving it for future me to actually write the new thangs bc i'm hungry.
#.txt#WE'RE BACK. TO BEING. SO CLOSE TO THE END.#i've got to start setting up this bit of plot. and then get to the few Just Before what's effectively the climax. AND THEN. i trust i'll be#glued to the keyboard until i'm probably done. like i don't think i'll be able to stand leaving the computer at all when i get started#AND THEN. probably a month of editing i'm not going to lie to you guys#all of the first four chapters need re-written basically or AT LEAST needs several scenes added in.#AND THEN. actual editing time. a lot of adding in descriptions bc i'm shit at doing that the first go around#AND THEN. probably another read through to be sure i'm done & there's no fuck-ups like having two scenes tred the same stuff or contradict#each other or whatever. AND THEN WE'LL BE DONE. and i'll have to write out an update schedule & hold myself to it lmfao#BUT TRUST ME. by august i'll be posting. I MEAN IT.
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