#AND YET EVERY TIME I'M LIKE
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chapter 39 is~ going to be late~ wow who would have guessed~
#FORTUNATELY i'm on page 23#UNFORTUNATELY there are 35 pages#it was going to be 33 then i had to add one and now i'm adding another one#because i am OUT OF CONTROL ;___;;;;;#lvl40/41 was supposed to be one chapter... then i split it in two and lvl41 is STILL 29 pages#anyway after that i will STOP#making them so long :v#i SWEAR#also the titles for 40/41 are good. another two-part title.#when i post them if you remember i said that you'll be like#wow your taste in chapter title names sucks#at this point you already know that tho :v#aaaaa the tags on my blog (the formating on desktop) is so ugly#especially when there's so muuuchhh#AND YET EVERY TIME I'M LIKE#DEAR DIARY MY GERANIUMS ARE WILTING AND I THOUGHT THEY NEEDED MORE WATER BUT THEY HAD TOO MUCH AND NOW I'M LIKE FUCK HOW DO I SAVE THEM#AND I LOOKED IT UP ONLINE AND WAS LIKE COOL I JUST NEED FUNGICIDE AND TO DO PLANT SURGERY#but the lady at the fungicide store was like#calm down#so the surgery will wait :v#if someone online says to do some crazy shit always consult the lady at the plant store first#general life advice#remember when this post was about my webcomic
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Don't ask how it got into his room
#listen my comics don't have to make sense OR have good craftsmanship. they just have to be stupid#in the daytime i'm Ms. K. just a normal kindergarten assistant teacher who tells her kinders not to scribble scrabble when they draw#but there's something about me that they don't know yet. because i have a secret. i scribble scrabble when i draw all.the time#мой пост#мой рисунок#london special#london special spoilers#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#miraculous#ml#ml comic#real talk though every time i post i apologize for it being so messy. but do i ever change? no. I'm like your toxic ex
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Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...
(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#Arno#jamis arlesi#f slur mention#(Remy is allowed to say it. Jury is still out on Jamis though.)#I love that disco elyisum comic so much. I have it saved in several places so I can find it to show people. I lost it once. Never. Again.#Hard lesson about redrawing/heavily referencing a beloved comic is that you will feel so inferior to its genius.#I did my best but I feel like I didn't hit the high notes I wanted. Such is art!#At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I'm still on a journey and not every piece is going to be my best.#Yeah I'm still on my Tigers propagana train. Toot Toot. All abord or perish to the Tigers.#I hear tigers are running the Olympics this year. That's right. It's tigers all the way down.#Obscure references aside; time to talk tigers spoilers:#I was absolutely losing my mind at Remy taking Jamis to the Starfall. He did *not* expect to be in a gay bar.#Jamis is our beloved bisexual lad but I don't think he's fully in tune with it yet.#How down right unfortunate that he is also the hottest cub in the room. Will he realize? What will he realize? Who Knows!#Thank you to everyone who checked out Tiger Tiger from my recommendations!#And thank you to my fellow Tigers fans for receiving my comics with open arms. Next comic will be about Rat Man.
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my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.
before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.
but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.
as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.
pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.
it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)
the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.
this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.
so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.
an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.
another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.
there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.
i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.
#personal#actuallyintersex#intersex#actually intersex#transmisogyny tw#this post is not going to be rebloggable for now but if any intersex mutuals want to reblog it i might turn reblogs on#this just feels like an intersex conversation in a way i would prefer not to do with an audience of spectators.#also a tangent: i do understand that agab is not a body descriptor. i think that agabs are a form of curative violence perpetuated onto us#this is something i've been consistent about expressing for years. if you go back to old posts you'll see that there's many times i've said#over the years that agab is messy. that i know people who were assigned one gender at birth and another gender as a toddler#who identify as cis and trans and a million other things. i understand that and im not interested in denying their existence#so. don't take this as a universal statement from me about every single instance of “amab transman” or “afab transfem.” but rather in the#context of the current dynamic i'm seeing on tumblr of widespread transmisogynistic harassment#that i think much of the way people are talking about this is exploitative and harmful#also i've made many posts before talking about how like. many things would change and become intelligble in a less compulsorly dyadic world#but we aren't there yet. and so there are many terms that are still meaningful and relevant for us right now#and as always: i am one intersex person with one perspective i like to hear from other intersex people including intersex people#who think differently from me
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So let me get this straight:
Hollow knight is about the journey of a small creature possessing the corpse of a god's discarded child, and the character arc that unfolds as they realize they're more than the path they were set to take, eventually defeating the corruption instead of merely postponing inevitable destruction.
Rain world is about the journeys and experiences of many small creatures sent by a bunch of gossiping computers, and the efforts to help stop the destruction caused by a corrupted god that unfolds over hundreds of years, all to postpone his inevitable death.
Man, video games are fun!
#rain world spoilers#hollow knight spoilers#gonna ruin both games in one fell swoop for y'all kekekek#I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about rainworld rn#I also have many thoughts about hk but I've been sharing those for years already#Truthfully I haven't talked to Moon in the final campaign yet#I'm afraid to#Rain world plays like a novel you can't set down#Every time you open the game there's more to see#Not to mention just how ridiculously high the skill floor can get#You can absolutely play the game without learning any tech or even caring about the lore at all#But when you really get into it? Aw man it's just absolutely infatuating#hollow knight#art#rain world
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haven't seen the gay vampire show yet but I am enchanted by the gorgeous people and the sexy sexy cinematograpy
#every time i see iwtv gifs on my dash I'm like ah. poetic cinéma#and yet continue to not watch it#maybe someday tho
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my favourite thing about being a phannie is wholeheartedly believing dan and phil are very talented and very funny yet being just as surprised every single time they make something and it's actually really good and funny
#i can't help it#i believe in them so much and yet every time leading up to something i'm like well this is probably gonna be a bit mid isn't it#and then it slaps!
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I find it fascinating how every single one of my health issues can be mistaken for laziness
#tw ableism#->#'ugh why doesn't she pay attention to classes?? lazy' -> I'm ADHD/2e. your lesson isn't interesting enough.#'why does your table have wheels? why do you have to work from your bed? that's clearly an excuse to be able to lay down wnvr you want'->#there's something unidentified happening with my back that makes me unable to sit straight for long periods of time and it hurts LIKE HELL.#'why did you only get up at noon? that's such a lazy behavior' -> my circadian rhythm is nocturnal. I'm only truly awake past midnight and+#+it has been like that since the day i was born. mom had to stay up with baby me until 3am#tw fatphobia#->->#'why are you so fat? are you eating healthy? are you going to the gym? smaller portions girrrrllllll' ->#first of all go to hell. but anyway i actively enjoy eating healthy food#i love salads.#and yes i go to the gym regularly. almost every day.#but i have a very fun thing called PCOS and it messes up with my hormones in ways no professional could help me yet 👍#but again. go to hell.#nonsims#non sims
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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team "there's nothing WRONG with that ship per se but i've constructed a non-canon sibling dynamic between those characters in my head so seeing them be shipped is so fucking jarring to me" represent
#eliot posts#in this case i'm thinking abt hunt//mira and hunt//ric#there's nothing wrong with shipping them#in canon they are nothing even resembling siblings#and yet i have spent so much time playing w the ideas of their dads getting married and them being a big family together#that every time i see either of those ships i'm like HUH???#i think there have been other cases of this phenomenon for other pairings too but this is like the strongest one
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If you look at jewish people voicing their concerns about antisemitism as anything close to a "victim complex," you're just an antisemite, like... How do two THOUSAND PLUS years of antisemitism around the globe sail over your head so easily.
#jumblr#judaism#jewish politics#personal thoughts tag#antisemitism tw#i've been seeing so much antisemitism and antisemetic downplaying of anything jews say concern them and it's like.#this isn't even really ABOUT anything more specific than 'every time jews voice their concerns they're called victim complex havers'#i wonder what would give the impression that jews have been victims before. hm. wonder what made them (soon us) so worried for millenia#it doesn't feel appropriate to say 'us' yet but it's also just... hard not to sometimes you know?#so if it comes across like i'm saying it's 'us' when right now it isn't... yeah i'm sorry#i am just... really frusterated about all of this and i know it's something you almost 'get used to' but it still fucks with me
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Who gave him the right? 😮💨
#joker out#bojan cvjetićanin#lil boki right after tooting his own horn#rambling time: right after this comes one of the most facepalm moments i've seen lately. that host is not the sharpest tool in the shed...#like sorry but she's so awkward and confused throughout and every time i thought a question might go in a smart direction it just did a 180#and yet she has a job while i'm a failure instead of a journalist because i just can't make myself write my damn thesis for four years now#so who am i to judge i guess
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JEONGNYEON: THE STAR IS BORN / 정년이 dir. Jung Ji-in, 2024 Episode Three
#tvedit#jeongnyeonedit#kdramaedit#perioddramaedit#jeong nyeon#jeongnyeon: the star is born#jung ji-in#made by carolyn#every time moon ok-gyeong shows up i'm like#of course all of the local teen girlies are in love with her#probably the best cast character on the show#jung eun-chae's energy is So Specific in this#...have not started pachinko season two yet and now i think i'll wait til after this show ends
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What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
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upside down🌀 downside up
#new life smp#new life smp fanart#new life scott#smajor fanart#smajor1995#dangthatsalongname#mcyt#my art#you ever just do a sketch and lose your senses#yeah hahaha#every time i thought i was done i saw like 3 things i hadnt colored yet#i had some leftover momentum from artfight so~#my brain is going blank i just finished this#tada#OH YEAH#its A Lot so i limited the palette where i could.#the sand and all the gold has the same base color orange as the orange highlights in transporter!scott's hair#should i add links n stuff at the end of posts? been thinking about that for a while#i'm gonna open comissions soon hehe
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ok listen. listen. hear me out. what if Angel was the one to propose the contract
like.... the intensification of heartbreak and guilt when Val tells him 'I own you, or have you forgotten that?' as Angel looks at his signature, the heart he drew next to it. the extra layer in 'what's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself'. and above all it plays well with my observation that their contract had to have been composed with some level of input from Angel, because... why on earth/in hell would Val have given him control of his life outside of the studio; and while Val invokes the contract to put Angel back in 'his place', Angel invokes it to remind Valentino that he can defy him. It's actually similar in composition to a kink contract/agreement--if I'm in this specific place, you hold all the power and call the shots; but outside of it, I don't give you that level of control. Angel can straight up tell Val to fuck off in front of a crowd and all Val can do is say he'll make Angel regret it next time he's in the studio (and isn't that an extremely dark variation of the classic kinky romance beat of 'sub misbehaves when they're in public and can get away with it, dom promises they'll pay for it later'?)
so like. all of that about the contract also works if Val proposed it, but I love headcanoning that their relationship was on the rocks around the time it was signed, and one of the factors was Vox coming onto the scene... and so now i'm just thinking about Angel in his peak era of both-sides-ing their relationship problems, knowing his 'commitment issues' (partly real, partly consisting of val's 'you know other men??' issues) are a major cause, furious and disconcerted at someone else drawing so much of Val's attention, wanting to make a stupid desperate Hail Mary pass to save their relationship but devoid of the usual options of 'have kid' or 'impulsively propose marriage' or 'move to a new house that's inevitably haunted' i watch too much horror, going for the option of '...hey do you want to make the kind of binding contract that is accessible to us?'
and surely it's not that stupid! he's only really giving Val a formal version of the power he gives him already, right? Val's his dom and his director and manager, and maybe there's... problems but it's mostly been great for Angel so far, so if having it on (magic eternally binding) paper would make Val happy and make him understand that Angel really wants him, wants them, the risk is toooootally worth it. just, best not to tell Cherri about it she'd definitely think it was insane.
(and when, much later, she learns about the contract and berates him for being an idiot and not telling her when Val brought it up, maybe don't correct her assumption. just keep it to yourself and feel even worse.)
#valangel#angel dust hazbin hotel#valentino hazbin hotel#happy days in hell (hazbin tag)#this is a just for fun awful idea excepting the .001% chance it's what actually happened#in which case i'm a genius#but i stand behind my 'their contract (what we know of it) is reminiscent of a kink contract#and angel seems to have signed it willingly (and with love-the HEART) so it seems more relationship-based than a 'deal' per se' insanity#(angel just does Not seem like he'd sign away control of his soul even part of the time in exchange for money/fame etc and there's so far#no mention of Val giving/owing him anything in return for that control)#(tho again. i may be proved wrong it's early days yet shrug emoji)#i know 'addict' was a fansong but it WAS made canon and i froth about#'til death do us part/but we're already past that phase' every time i remember it#the marriage/kink contract equivalent coding of Val and Angel's relationship... <- me insane at 3am staring into space
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