#AND WHY EDWIN DOESN'T LOOK LIKE EDWIN!??!!?
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I think I'm gonna die drawing the hands. it was nice knowing you all 🫡
#I need to make the shadows darker#< this is my art teacher talking to me. how did she get inside my head#AND WHY EDWIN DOESN'T LOOK LIKE EDWIN!??!!?#at some point he even looked like monty 😭😭😭#dbda#dead boy detectives#dbda fanart#dead boy detective fanart#edwin payne#charles rowland#my art#wip#I swear the colours actually look better my phone just can't take decent pictures
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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another funny kind of narrative dissonance with dead boy detectives is like. okay. so the boys are convinced that once a ghost's unfinished business is done, Death can find them immediately and take their souls. Which she does. When they're ready to go, she arrives and takes them where they need to go. But therefore this means that the boys immediately have to run away as soon as a case is finished or she'll take them too.
But there's also like. A whole community of ghosts. Just kind of hanging around. Everywhere. Like. In general. There are a lot of ghosts. They seem to be a whole entire community of ghosts. Emma hangs around in a graveyard, a place infamously not associated with death. Suicides apparently automatically get a special version of being a ghost where they are not in Hell but also not taken by Death to the afterlife. Like. Are all these ghosts also under the impression they're like. Pulling a fast one on Death? Do they all think that she can simultaneously turn up to where a ghost is within seconds but also somehow fails to notice a whole community of ghosts just kind of chilling in the same place for decades. Or is this like, a Charles and Edwin thing that no one has the heart to correct them on despite the fact that most ghosts are fully aware that Death simply does not give a fuck where they hang around.
#ara rambles#dead boy detectives#the existence of the lost and found department also kind of makes this more confusing#because like. what is their actual job???#because hell and Death are the ones actually taking the souls#and neither seem to need a guide on where they are???#they just turn up???#Death is death she just turns up she doesn't lose souls there is never any indication that she ever loses souls#so like. the lost and found department has an entire bureaucracy to.... keep track of young souls that aren't actually lost???#we see the devlin girls end up there for processing???so death must take them there but for what???#because the decision on hell/not hell is decided the moment they leave because either Death picks you up or Hell does#so if you're bound for Hell that's decided the moment you die#so what is the processing for??#and on that note. because again. it's not the lost and found department's job to pick up souls#that's either Death or Hell#so like. what was the Night Nurse's plan. why did she want to pick Edwin and Charles up???#That is literally not her job it has never been her job and it continues to not be her job#like the devlin girls are also lost child ghosts and it's not the night nurse who picks them up??? it's still death??#also they're a lost and found and like....#*other* people bring lost things to lost and founds#lost and founds do not actively go looking for things you lost that is not and has never been a thing#so genuinely have no idea what's going on there tbh#i have so many worldbuilding questions about this show you don't understand
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The idea of hell having a claim on Edwin's soul is such a fun avenue to explore. There's a lot of ways I like to think that could manifest.
Personally, I like the idea of the claim mark being inked around his throat like a tattoo, the whole way around it like a collar. It's why he wears his shirt buttoned up all the way and his bow tie all the time.
Something in another language or comprised of runes or other designs that indicate his soul is claimed, but it just looks wrong. There's no good way to describe it but even someone who didn't know it was a claim from hell would be unsettled by it.
And Charles hates it from the first time he sees it.
Especially the more he gets to know Edwin, the more it really sinks in how wrong the whole thing is.
And because the universe apparently just loves to fuck with Edwin, it also hurts. Ghosts can't bleed but sometimes it just kind of oozes a thick black liquid. It will burn, similar to the way iron burns, and it itches. Edwin will mindlessly scratch at it to the point where he'd be bleeding if he was living.
When he's in hell, it manifests as a actual iron collar. It's the same collar each time he comes back after being killed so it's rusted with old blood and forms jagged edges, ripping into the skin while it burns. When he scratches at it, he digs at the skin until it bleeds and sometimes further.
Edwin did not tell Charles about the physical collar. That might have been a misstep on his part, however in his defense he wasn't planning on ending up back in hell or Charles being in hell with him at any point.
So Charles, who's already burning with worry and rage, finds Edwin and learns what actually happens to him down here and finds out the whole time Edwin is collar like a dog... well. It doesn't go well.
Charles wants it off. The mark was bad enough but now he's got an actual fucking collar?
He wants it off Edwin. He wants it off right now. But there's no seam on the collar, it's like it was welded on. It's not meant to come off and it won't, not while they're still in hell.
It's burning into Edwin's skin when he tells Charles he's in love with him and honestly, Charles can barely focus on anything except getting Edwin out of there and that stupid fucking collar smoking and drawing blood.
But he knows he doesn't want to tell Edwin he loves him back right now. Not when they're still in hell with a monster chasing them, both of them exhausted and Edwin hurt.
He'll say it after they're safe and out of hell, after that collar is gone.
He's going to hit the ground running on figuring out how to break the whole damn claim. He hadn't pushed it as much as he should have. Edwin didn't like to talk about it or call attention to it and Charles respected that. He shouldn't have. He should have pushed it because even if Edwin only had the physical collar in hell, he still had the mark constantly.
Charles had spent many nights glaring at it, nights where it was just them in the office and Edwin actually let himself relax, undoing the buttons on his shirt until the mark was visible. His attention would always end up being drawn back to the mark, Edwin too focused on other things to notice.
If he said anything, or even got caught staring at it, he knew Edwin would snap shut. He wouldn't ever let it show again and he deserves a place to be able to relax and not worry about it. Plus, Charles knows that sometimes the mark is sensitive enough that the clothing rubbing against it makes it raw, being able to expose the mark and let it air out was a relief.
The claim gets pushed to the side with everything else that happens but when Charles gets Edwin off the table Esther had made, to torture him and Charles was rapidly coming to the conclusion that he was more than okay being incredibly violent if it means people will leave Edwin and him alone, the mark is dark and black liquid is rolling down his skin in big drips.
He's ready to get Crystal involved by the time they're finally back in the office, even though he knows Edwin has no desire for her to see or know about the curse, but things actually start to go their way.
They're given the okay to stay together and keep solving cases, and Edwin doesn't have to worry about going back to hell.
They're giving the night nurse some shit, welcoming her to the agency with tongue in cheek comments when she mentions something about the cursed claim and both of them straighten up.
It's nothing concrete, but it's worth a shot. Charles feels a little bad for flinging her off the cliff at the lighthouse because there must be something good in her for her to give them this. She could have said nothing and they never would have even thought to ask her.
She can't promise it will work and she doesn't even know if it's the right information but it gives them a place to start and that's more than enough.
Once your soul has been cursed and claimed in such a way, especially by something like hell, it can't ever be completely free again. Something with the makeup of the soul being altered. Ownership of the claim must be transferred to someone else, it isn't broken just shifted.
So, in the end, the only thing that can transfer a claim on a soul like Edwin's is a stronger claim.
Charles is like fucking finally. He's ready to rip Edwin's soul out of everyone else's hands at this point. No one's got a stronger claim on Edwin than him and he'll fight hell to prove it if he needs to.
And honestly, Edwin can't think of anyone else he'd want to have it.
The spell for the transfer works and the mark changes completely. The dark ink lightens to a off grey silver color that's hardly visible unless you look right at it. The edges of the letters/runes/shapes go from jagged and sharp to curved and soft.
The mark doesn't hurt, ooze black, burn, or itch anymore. In fact, Edwin would argue that it's warm, like it's trying to soothe more than anything else.
He would almost say it's pretty.
Charles gets a version of it on his wrist, wrapped around it like a bracelet. It shows more on him with his skin color and Edwin would say it's pretty.
Maybe it's sensitive and touching it on each other feels good. So Charles gets in the habit of brushing his hands over Edwin's throat and petting at the mark. Edwin gets in the habit of grabbing Charles's wrist and holding it, fingers soothing over the mark and the soft skin of Charles's inner wrist.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
Idk just fun thoughts 🤷���️
#dead boy detectives#payneland#edwin payne#charles rowland#dbda#fanfiction ideas#solving cases with greyskyflowers
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Something about how loudly Edwin says Charles' name in this scene has been driving me insane and I think I've finally figured out why.
When Charles finds Edwin in hell, Edwin is rolled into a little ball of misery, covered in blood and quietly sobbing. It's probably a position he's developed over decades, making himself as small as possible, being as quiet as possible, trying to take up as little space as possible. He's almost pretending he doesn't exist in order to stretch out the moments before the spider finds him and the loop starts again.
And then Charles says his name and Edwin looks up and sees Charles, and it's like all of his defenses just vanish. He doesn't whisper Charles' name, he says it, loudly, as if he has completely forgotten where he is and that they need to be quiet. He gets up, unfurls his limbs, slowly standing up to his full height, taking up space again. Every instinct in his body should tell him to stay hidden and as invisible and silent as possible, but Charles has just smiled at him, and Edwin speaks again, asking "Is that you?" and letting out a shaky breath of relief.
He is completely vulnerable and exposed now, like Charles' arrival has made him completely forget that they are in hell and that he could be ripped apart by a spider doll demon at any moment. All the defences he has built up over literal decades just completely crumble as soon as he hears Charles' voice.
And then the spider comes and rips him away, and I don’t think it would have done (at least not yet), had Edwin not alerted it to his presence like that. I think that’s why this moment wouldn’t let go of me, because I always thought it shouldn’t be this easy for Edwin to abandon a survival tactic he has developed over decades of torture. But all it takes is Charles being there, and Edwin forgets everything else.
#this moment has been like a puzzle I've been trying to solve and the answer was just payneland all along#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#give George all the awards for this moment alone#also these gifs are not mine but I don't remember where I got them from so if you recognize them let me know so I can credit the creator#my post
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I need to talk about Charles’s death scene because it's the most beautiful death scene and one of the most beautiful scenes in general that I've ever seen.
It starts with quick flashbacks of what happened previously, Charles defending that kid and then getting himself attacked by his friends because of that. We've already seen all that.
But then it switches to him, alone and shivering, in the attic. We know what is going to happen. We already know he is dying. The light is cold, just like he is.
Then, enters Edwin, holding a lantern, bathing the attic in a warm colour. And Charles can see him. We and Edwin know why, Charles doesn't, yet.
Edwin wanted to bring him the lantern in case it helped, but it's already too late, Charles is dying. So he stays. They talk, Edwin answers Charles's questions, all while Under the Milky Way plays in the background (and what a beautiful song). Charles learns that Edwin is dead and is a ghost and he looks sad for Edwin, but he asks more questions, until he can't anymore.
When Charles doesn't have much energy left, he's not shivering anymore, his body can't even do that anymore. He's too tired to talk. Edwin reads him a story, changing his voice according to the characters.
Charles looks out the window as Edwin's voice fade in the background.
Then, we see him standing near that window, in a tank top, no longer wearing that blanket. At first, we don't see Charles's body, giving us the time to understand what just happened. And then he turns and sees his own body. He just died.
And despite knowing that throughout the whole show, Charles is a ghost, seeing his memory of his death still hurts. It's unfair. He was killed by his friends because he chose to do the right thing. But it's also beautiful, because Edwin was there. Edwin made what would have been a cold and lonely death a warm and friendly one, despite the fact that they were just strangers back then.
Charles then choses to stay with Edwin, and it's the start of a beautiful friendship between the two, a much more beautiful existence then they both ever had when they were alive (or even in death in Edwin's case, when he was in Hell).
This scene never fells to make me cry. It's so sad and beautiful. It makes me feel so deeply for him, a beautiful soul whose life got cut short.
And another reason why I love this scene so much is because it's when Charles and Edwin first met. It's how and why they became friends. This scene wrecks me on so many levels and I'll never shut up about it.
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Something about the line between platonic and romantic and what that means for Edwin and Charles.
What even is that line? Like, in general? Especially when it comes to queer relationships? We've all been there or seen it happening, kissing a friend, found family, lovers to exes to friends again. It's common for queer groups to be messy, but also that's not messy, that's just how we roll.
Sometimes it's more about how you perceive things than about how the world is saying that they are.
And Edwin and Charles, the line is so, so high up. The love doesn't change no matter how you're looking at it, but the difference is the knowledge — the way they understand the feelings.
So even though Edwin has been in love for decades (because it was the same feeling), he didn't see it like that. Everything he did for Charles was platonic up until the moment it wasn't. The same goes for Charles: even if he, too, has been in love since the beginning, he didn't consider it and so his acts were platonic. He did actually go to hell for his best mate.
Because what's the difference? If it's that strong, it can only be romantic? Nah, I know most of us don't actually believe that.
That's why I think that them turning romantic doesn't diminish the strenght of the friendship itself. From now on, yeah, they may see themselves as lovers. But they were friends for 30+ years first, and they loved each other like that, and it wasn't less. It was the same.
#i hope i made sense with this bc my thoughts are all over the place#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#painland#queer platonic relationship#qpr
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Imagine Edwin deciding to try to woo his (still relatively new) boyfriend even more but initiating more physical affection.
It's not that he doesn't, it's just that it is undoubtedly mostly Charles who reaches out first, as Edwin still catches himself being plagued by uncertainty that his touches and affection aren't too much or too intense for the other ghost.
But Niko and Crystal have been hyping him up for weeks, and it's not like he hasn't noticed himself how happy Charles gets whenever it's Edwin who leans in for a kiss, on the rare occasion that he does .
That's why, when he sees a perfect chance - Charles’s back turned to him, as the boy browses one of their many shelves - he decides to seize the opportunity.
Not letting himself second-guess his idea, he closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around Charles from behind, hooking his chin over the other's shoulder.
"What are you looking for, Charles?"
Edwin can sense how Charles stiffens at the contact, but before he can worry that he has overstepped, he sees from the corner of his eye how Charles’s face begins to flush adorably.
"I- uh, I don't- I mean, I was just- well!" Even though Charles has clearly lost his ability to speak in that moment, he still has enough brainpower to clutch tightly onto Edwin's arms around his waist, as if making sure his boyfriend doesn't remove them.
And who is Edwin to deny Charles whatever he wants. He hugs Charles tighter.
#this was supposed to be shorter but welp#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#payneland#my posts#charles rowland#painland#dbda#dead boy detectives agency#dbd
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Restaurant owner/chef Charles / Food critic Edwin AU!!!
So, I just thought of this AU and I am so jazzed about it that I need to drop this idea somewhere so it can become a 100k fic I can devour in one sitting asdfhfhfhf
In an ideal world I’d want to offer the floor to someone Desi to run with this idea, or to collab with me on it because I want to do Charles' food and culture and relationship with his mum justice. I’ve only been adjacent to the restaurant business (my family ran a small café for a bit and I worked there, and I have a family member who did culinary school, so).
I just know that this idea has Arrived in my brain and I can’t just let it sit in there unattended, asdjfjfjf
I'm tagging @nix-nihili and @queen-of-hobgobblers 'cause I feel like this will be up your street???
Okay - so Charles and his mum own a small Indian restaurant. It’s a family business and his parents ran it together ("together") before. Charles’ father was incredibly controlling about the menu, their community partners and suppliers, as well as pretty much every other aspect of the business (and their lives, behind the scenes). Now Charles’ father is out of the picture—I'm undecided how this happens, but I just think Charles deserves to live an unfettered life without Mr. Rowland hurting him anymore, tbh.
He gets to rediscover the joy of cooking together with his mum, cooking as freely as he wants and not being held back by his dad's expectations, refreshing the restaurant's menu to feature more authentic versions of the dishes, making connections with new suppliers, redoing the accounting to pay everybody a living wage... Just generally, like, revamping the entire restaurant to be a more joyful place to be that celebrates delicious food and companionship as a form of connection and sharing. Edwin is a food critic who goes to the grand reopening of the restaurant. Edwin likes to write about and document food. He enjoys experiencing a restaurant and its food possibly even more than the tasting of it. He presents like the uptight, exacting sort of food critic restaurants are intimidated by, with his many layers and his bow tie and his posture and his perfect hair, his little notebook and his vintage pocket pen. But inside he just wants to be able to feel some sort of a connection: with the chef through the food (What is the dish trying to tell him?); with the other person at the table—if there is another person, which is so rare.
Family mealtimes for Edwin growing up were distant affairs, overly formal and stilted and coded, minefields for being scrutinized and speaking and acting in only the most acceptable ways; not places to be honest or genuine or to let one's guard down. Certainly not occasions to experience genuine enjoyment. He wants to believe that food, which is so vital to life, and the preparing and the sharing of it, can be different. Positive. Joyous.
Charles gives Edwin a tour of the restaurant when he arrives. Charles is not like a lot of other restaurant owners Edwin has met. He introduces Edwin to his mum and the way he looks at her makes a pang go through Edwin's chest because clearly, they love each other so much, and Edwin may have never had that but just looking at it heals something in him. He's not getting invested, though. (Right?)
Charles' enthusiasm is like, off the charts. He's practically vibrating, to the point where excitement tips over into anxiety, clearly trying to keep it toned down and failing. And Charles is like, "I'm sorry. Just a bit nervous, yeah? I really care about this place. I need it to—I mean. I really want it to do well."
Edwin's heart goes out to him. "Do not worry," he says, softly. "I am not here to hurt you." He doesn't know why he says it but all the tension goes out of Charles, the slightly frantic look goes out of his eyes, and he gives Edwin the brightest smile he thinks he's ever seen. It's a gorgeous smile. Relieved, and carefree, and warm like sunshine.
"D'you want to try some food?" He says it almost conspiratorially, as though this is not Edwin's primary and entire purpose in being here.
Edwin looks around the quiet, empty restaurant. It's cozy and warm with mid-afternoon sunlight streaming in through the windows at the front. Even without any patrons, without the din or bustle of a full dining room, it seems to beckon to foster shared happiness within it. "I was under the impression that I would be partaking of your dinner service this evening," he says delicately, trying to hide that he might actually want nothing better than to never leave here at all, let alone try some food.
"Well, yeah," Charles says, "'course you are. But this is different, innit? Not for the article. Come on, let me cook for you. You look like..." He stops. Perhaps considering if he's about to say too much. His eyes are bright and thoughtful and fixed on Edwin so intently that Edwin doesn't breathe for a moment. "You look like no one's cooked for you in ages." It comes out soft, but firm; as though he knows what he's talking about. Edwin feels like the wind has been knocked out of him.
"No one has ever cooked for me," says Edwin matter-of-factly.
He has no idea what it is about Charles that makes him admit something so honest—although it is not entirely accurate. His family had had a personal chef. Technically speaking, all of Edwin's meals had been cooked for him, until much to his parents' chagrin he went off to a student flat, and culinary school, and began to cook them for himself. But he suspects that no one has ever cooked for him, the way Charles Rowland is offering to now. Properly. Like it means something. Like he is trying to say something through it; unspoken words that Edwin has always wanted to hear.
Let me know you. Let me connect with you. Let me take care of you.
Charles' eyes widen. Clearly, he is trying to process Edwin's bleak admission. "Right," he says, after a beat, as his posture gains something determined; his grin bright and charming. "That settles it, then. I know exactly what I'm going to make you."
And before Edwin can say anything else, he's taking Edwin's hand in his and tugging him towards the kitchen.
#dbda#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives#payneland#cw food#cw eating mention#I AM SO NORMAL AND FINE
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One thing I've spent a lot of time thinking about is how quickly Charles opens up to Crystal, and why it was he showed her things that he's kept from Edwin for thirty years.
The first component is, I think, because she needs him to.
Charles is, at his core, an extremely supportive person. He tries so hard for everyone around him, unfailingly. He's there for Edwin and Crystal, emotionally and physically, throughout the series. He tries to put on a happy face to keep everyone's spirits up, because at his core, he needs to be needed. He desperately wants people to like him, and his always-cheerful act is at least in part meant as an offer of support to others.
Not only that, but he routinely puts his own needs and wants aside in favor of giving others what they need instead. (I go more into how that affects his relationship with Crystal here and with Edwin here.)
So it's interesting to note that the first time he opens up to Crystal, it isn't for his own sake. Crystal is saying that it's hard not to be able to go home.
And what does Charles do? He reaches out in the way he thinks she needs.
He shows her his parents.
It's his way of saying that he gets it. He understands where she's coming from. It is hard not to be able to go home. And won't she let them help?
But it's interesting that this is something that he hasn't shown Edwin.
Not only hasn't he shown Edwin, but he still doesn't want Edwin to know. He specifically asks Crystal not to tell him.
So, why?
Well... just like he thinks Crystal needs to hear it, Charles thinks that Edwin doesn't.
One of the very first things he learned about Edwin is that he escaped from hell. Charles says that Edwin has told him a lot about it. And from the very first episode, it's extremely clear that Edwin doesn't shy away from talking about his time there.
So we've got Charles, a consummate people-pleaser who's desperate for approval, faced with this boy who just did the kindest thing anyone has ever done for him. We've got Charles, who supports the people he cares for as naturally as breathing, faced with a boy he cares dearly for, and that boy is dealing with decades of trauma.
So what does Charles think that boy needs? He needs someone to help him. He needs someone to be kind, and optimistic, and cheerful, because Edwin's time in hell has taught him to always expect the worst.
So Charles stuffs his own issues down somewhere deep because Edwin needs him to put on a cheerful face.
That's the first part.
The second reason why Charles opens up to Crystal so quickly is, I think, circumstantial.
She happens to be there during the Devlin house fiasco, when he's being faced by very visceral, unavoidable reminders of his own abuse. She's literally in the room when he reads Hope's diary, and from what we see and hear about Charles' family life, everything in that diary mirrors what Charles went through.
Hope's father has very strict rules. She's walking on eggshells. She never knows what's going to set him off.
Charles relates deeply to all of those things, and seeing his own thoughts and feelings spelled so clearly out on the page is enough to bring him to tears.
He's looking at this girl who, like him, struggled constantly to be good enough and constantly fell short.
For the first time in three decades, Charles is confronted with a situation that mirrors his own home life, one to one, and Crystal is there for it in real time.
She's able to see him put the mask down because she's there when it cracks.
Which brings us around to the third component.
And this one is a little more speculative, but hear me out.
Picture one Charles Rowland, circa 1989.
His dad beats the shit out of him on the regular. He thinks it's because he can never quite manage to be good enough, even though he's trying as hard as he knows how. His mother never defends him or speaks up for him.
His so-called friends? They'll beat him to death later this same year.
He's bi, but the AIDS epidemic is in full swing, and even if it wasn't, he's busily pretending the part of him that likes boys doesn't exist, because he looked at a boy the wrong way once, or maybe even kissed one, and his father beat the shit out of him for it.
So with a dire home life and the world's worst friends, what's left? Where's this boy who's desperate for a little kindness going to look for it?
Well, the only option that's left.
Charles is starved for approval and affection both, and for most of his short life, he's got exactly one avenue available to get either of them.
Girls his own age are safe.
They don't hurt him. They don't stand by and let his father beat him. They don't turn on him and literally murder him, when they don't get their way.
After he dies, he's got Edwin, and Edwin is everything to him. But for thirty long years, Edwin's sexuality and romantic inclinations are so far under wraps that they may as well be in another galaxy.
Edwin is kind, but he's stilted and does poorly with people. Edwin values Charles dearly, but he's awkward at expressing physical affection. Edwin cares about Charles a great deal, but he shies away from strong emotions. (If you're interested, I talk more about Edwin vs emotions here.)
So of course Charles would miss kissing. That's the only chance he's ever had, as far as experience has taught him, to earn any kind of physical affection.
And Crystal, when she comes along, falls directly into that "safe" category in his brain.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#dbda spoilers#charles rowland#crystal palace#edwin payne#payneland#meta commentary
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A lot of people aren't vibing with Charles and Crystal's romance and honestly i think it's because it's not necessarily supposed to be a full-fledged, endgame romance.
I think it's written to be a fling.
Charles is a flirt; one of the first things he thinks about when Edwin tells him ghosts can't feel is that he would miss kissing, he says himself it's nice to be seen by someone his own age, he calls Crystal fit, etc. Assumably between cases he has a very small social circle of literally just Edwin so it makes sense that this girl who he gets on with and finds attractive immediately becomes a bit of a crush for him.
Then Crystal picks up on his flirting almost immediately, again they get on, etc. She says if he wasn't dead and she wasn't dealing with the aftermath of her toxic relationship with David he would be a good addition to her body count, i.e. just a fling. She doesn't say they'd date or she could fall for him just that they'd probably hook up.
Their first kiss happens when they're both dealing with some heavy stuff, Charles is angry, continuing to push down his trauma with his father and his past, Crystal is annoyed about not being any closer to getting her memories back whilst trying to deal with the trauma her last relationship caused her. They find comfort in each other in that moment. Crystal says she wants something real and the care they have for each other is real, there's no manipulation, no secrets. It's honest and it's innocent.
The song that plays in that scene is called Young Blood (White Sea Remix) by The Naked and Famous and has lyrics such as 'we're only young and naive still' and 'can't help myself but count the flaws, claw my way out of these walls, one temporary escape' and 'we lie beneath the stars at night, our hands gripping each other tight, you keep my secrets hope to die' - It does align with the idea that they're what each other wants in the moment, a distraction, to be able to pretend everything is normal and ok (keep each others secrets)
Crystal in the next episode, the next morning after their kiss, literally calls Charles a 'cute distraction' and says they should be friends. This time both of their issues and trauma are the reason for them not continuing the relationship. Blatantly, Crystal isn't ready for another relationship so soon after David, she wakes up with a nightmare about him and Charles. They bring up Charles fighting the Night Nurse and Charles says that he thought they were on the same page about it and 'at least that's how it seemed last night' which again leans into the fact they were both looking for comfort. Charles and Crystal kissing had nothing explicitly to do with her supporting his actions fighting the Night Nurse and yet that's how he took it because that's what he was searching for comfort from and acceptance on. Which is most likely why he seems to take the rejection harder than Crystal, seemingly agreeing to be friends more out of respect for her choice than the want to call it quits himself.
Charles tells Edwin later on about the kiss (right after Edwin is complaining about having to cancel plans with Monty) and says though he didn't physically feel it, he did feel it 'up here' and points to his head. The mind is generally not the place you feel love, I feel that's a given. (reminds me of the starfish on the beach that Niko says are in love, Edwin points out starfish have no brain and Niko says love doesn't require logic, meaning: love is not stored in the mind.) Charles and Edwin's conversation veers off to being about there own relationship, with Charles saying he wouldn't want to be dead with anyone else - not even the girl you just kissed? No? Ok.
The way that episode goes (The case of the two dead dragons) Crystal and Charles end up arguing about the very reasons they decided to not continue their relationship. Crystal likens Hunter and Brad to David, and Charles defends them saying not everyone is her demon ex-boyfriend which seems like he's projecting and really defending himself. Then Crystal calls him out on his 'rage problem' and what happened with the Night Nurse. So though they comforted each other the night before, their real feelings for each others issues are surfacing and they're not so on the same page. Of course they get over this and apologise soon enough. Though in the end, it's Edwin Charles opens up to and actually talks to about how he's feeling rather than pushing it aside and looking for a distraction. And after that, Charles gives Crystal genuine comfort not just a distraction by listening to her talk about her nightmares/visions about David. (immediately followed by the scene of Edwin and Monty on the swings in which Edwin suggests they don't see each other anymore, then back tracks, they kiss followed by rejection which definitely has... parallels)
After that, Crystal and Charles are still an obvious source of comfort for one another, they talk to each other about their stresses, they stick close together a lot of the time but there's nothing inherently romantic to their actions aside from the fact we know they have kissed which gives their actions a depth that, for example Edwin and Niko's don't, despite them also being affectionate and spending time together alone.
Then in the last episode as Crystal is attempting to leave for London, her and Charles share another kiss. When she tries to say bye to Charles, he says it feels like a 'good-bye good-bye' rather than a 'see you back in London good-bye' and Crystal doesn't correct him, essentially confirming it was supposed to be a forever goodbye. She instead kisses him. It's a good-bye kiss. A (supposed to be) final kiss. A 'we had a good run' type of kiss. Crystal kisses him because she thinks she'll never see him again. It's similar to the first in which the kiss itself is the beginning and end, and it doesn't mean much past that. It's a kiss as a secret again, like their first kiss. A kiss to fill the space left by things they don't want to talk about. She doesn't want to admit she's planning on leaving for good so she kisses him instead, it's a comfort and it's a distraction. (and its consistent)
When Crystal decides to stay in the end, Charles says it'll be great, then specifies that 'solving cases together' will be great, not anything else that could of implied. Which could either be them just being awkward, or a flip in their dynamic that now Crystal is the one more involved in their relationship and Charles is the one setting boundaries.
Overall I think they have a really interesting dynamic. They are exactly what each other needs in moments and then the opposite in the next, they care about each other so much yet are possibly the people that unearth each others insecurities and traumas the most. They're both looking for a new, different kind of relationship and find it within the other but inherently once the novelty fades they fall more into being friends than anything more. I think like most of the relationships in this show, they're supposed to be complicated, they're supposed to be more of a journey than a destination. They learn and grow from their interactions together and I think that's something really beautiful.
#this is so long oops#also this isnt ship hate! if crystal and charles r ur fav ship ur valid and cool! this is just my take on things personally :)#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives#dbda#crystal palace#charles rowland#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#edwin payne
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Okay I got another hot take and it's about Charles again
Take his reaction to the Cat King and Monty going after Edwin. That man was very blatantly jealous. It was not subtle. His facial expressions, angry tone, threats towards the Cat King, as well as accusations say it all. EDWIN HIMSELF picked up on the irrational anger and called him out for it.
Now, one could argue that the anger in Charles didn't stem from romantic feelings. That maybe Charles just felt threatened or protective because he's Edwin's best mate and didn't want his attention and time being taken away or somebody to move in on his best friend position.
...I call bullshit on that for one reason. Niko.
Niko and Edwin grew very close very fast. It is clear their friendship is so special and they have an amazing connection. Edwin was alone with Niko a lot both on cases and hanging out with her in her bedroom and they spent a large amount of time together. Edwin very obviously adores her and vice versa.
Just look at them, they're adorable! And Edwin, who is very reserved and doesn't offer physical affection to basically anyone (except Charles occasionally), gives it to Niko and has no issues with her touching him. But Charles has absolutely no issue with Niko, never shows any signs of anger towards her and also rather likes her.
Why? Well, Niko's a woman. Whilst it is clear Edwin loves her very much, he is also clearly not attracted to women so she is not a romantic choice for Edwin... so she is not a threat in Charles' mind.
Funny that Charles gets so worked up over two men that have a romantic interest in Edwin and also Edwin potentially being interested back, but has absolutely no problem with Niko becoming so close to Edwin.
Potential love interests for Edwin are a threat to Charles but new friends for Edwin are not.
That doesn't smell very much like just platonic feelings and motives to me Charles, just sayinnnnngggg
#charles x edwin#edwin x charles#edwin payne#charles rowland#dead boy detectives#netflix#neil gaiman#payneland#paynland#chedwin#niko sasaki#niko and edwin
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I've been thinking a little bit about how the Cat King expresses his affection, and specifically, how the fandom interprets it.
There's some people who see how he interacts with Edwin and think "oh my god, he's such a simp, Edwin really has this sexy catboy wrapped around his little finger," and there's some people who see how he interacts with Edwin and think "yowza, learn to take a hint, he's not interested in you and your fuckboy fur coat," which, y'know, are both valid. I love the Cat King, but he's clearly not a fan of boundaries---outside of his own, of course.
Which... is the point, isn't it? Because here's the thing---we all like to analyze the Cat King as if he's human, but... he's not.
He's a cat. And that's how cats are.
Let's look back at his first interaction with Edwin. Our sassy Edwardian boy has used magic on one of his cats, and he's pissed, because cats are protective over what they consider "theirs---" and seeing as he's the Cat King, all of the cats in Port Townsend are his. He's bitchy and rude, cutting Edwin off when he tries to explain himself, and doesn't exactly seem like he's a merciful guy.
Then comes the moment where he whisks Edwin away, and he gets a closer look. The Cat King realizes that he's handsome, he's clearly queer, and that there is something fascinating about him. So he gets closer, he gets intimate, and it's working. Even in the throes of internalized homophobia, Edwin's getting into it, and... the Cat King self-sabotages, slapping a binding spell onto him.
A cat hisses at you when you attempt to reach out your hand and reason with it. It changes its mind, and it comes up to you, purring. And just when you're about to scratch it behind its ears, it freaks out, scratching you on the hand.
Sure, right after that, the Cat King lays out the terms---the binding spell (which, honestly, is actually a pretty fitting punishment given that Edwin used a binding spell on that cat) can be taken off, "and I'm sure we can work something out." That's a line that's probably worked before, and that's a line that probably could've worked, but the damage is done. So the Cat King gets irritated, sneering at Edwin's "old-fashioned sensibilities," and gives him your classic trickster seems-easy-but-is-a-lot-harder-than-it-looks deal. And we don't see him again for a couple episodes... at least, not until Edwin gets that little cat-scratch at the lighthouse.
When a cat scratches your hand, you give it a wide berth. Even if it immediately changes its mind and meows for attention, you don't trust it anymore. So it gets pissy, getting more and more annoyed the more you ignore it, until it gives up and bites you when you won't give it pets.
Now, the Cat King has realized that Edwin's getting close. He's counted almost all the cats, and it won't be long before he completes the task and books it out of town. So, the Cat King starts flirting even more, even going so far as to mimic Monty and Charles if that's what it'll take. When that fails, and when getting Edwin to open up fails, the Cat King lets out a nervous little laugh and tells Edwin that he's way off, when in fact he couldn't be closer.
Once a cat realizes that it likes you, it becomes incredibly needy. It trots along after you, it begs for attention and love, it sits on your laptop and jumps up on the kitchen counter and will attempt to insert itself into any and all activities you might be doing. And while that may be the cat's way of expressing love, there's no denying that it is ignoring all of your personal boundaries and generally getting in the way of you doing anything---other than, of course, paying attention to it.
And then comes the moment in the forest. The Cat King shows up with a fancy chandelier to blow Monty's cover---why now? Because Monty isn't just a romantic threat, he's trying to do something that'll take away Edwin for good. Once the cover's blown, and once Monty storms off, the Cat King uses this as an opportunity---I just saved his life, maybe he'll notice me now---and Edwin snaps, dropping one of the best lines in the whole series.
This is the first time, mind you, that Edwin has really pushed back. He's been resistant before, sure, but he's never said or done anything that indicates that he really wanted this dance to end. And I don't even think the Cat King realized that he was crossing a line, had been crossing a line since he slapped that bracelet on. But when Edwin says that he's not the Cat King's toy to yank around, that he's nothing more than an inconvenience, that's a big old wake-up call for our boy---and of course, he takes it horribly, snarling after Edwin that he'll be stuck in this town if he walks away, that he'll stop playing nice, just fucking NOTICE me already why don't you?
There always comes a time when you're fed up with how invasive your cat's being. Maybe you've just had a bad day, maybe it's genuinely messing up something important that you're doing, but you break out the spray bottle. And how does it respond? With a hiss, with a scamper away, and with a baleful glare over its shoulder. It knows it's done something wrong, but it doesn't fully understand, and it's mad at you.
Afterwards, Edwin gets dragged into hell, and that breaks the charm on the bracelet. And the Cat King's left to think.
There's some conflicting emotions there, of course. He's moodily playing with the bracelet when Esther shows up, showing that he probably does care, but there's still something to be said about how he immediately calls Edwin a "tease" and hates himself for being willing to wait for him if and when he ever returns from Hell (which is very noble of you, Thomas, totally way more of a meaningful gesture than actually going down there to get him back---which, as a self-described eternal being, would probably be easier for you to do than Charles. Just sayin'). But as much as I love to clown on that, the Cat King does die in that scene, and it's only after that that he spills to Esther.
This, I think, is where the Cat King stops acting like a cat, and starts acting human. Because he doesn't go and see Edwin when he gets back---he's realized that he kind of was in the wrong, and he's giving him space. And I'm sure it can't have been fun knowing that Edwin and Charles only got kidnapped by Esther because of information that he let slip.
But when the boys and Crystal (and maybe Jenny) are about to leave, the Cat King visits Edwin to pay his respects to Niko. He gives Edwin a lily, which several people have pointed out is fatal to cats. He's still flirty, sure, but he's more understated now. No more tricks, no more spells. Just him. And that's the version of him that gets that little cheek kiss goodbye.
Because even cats can learn that there's a better way to love.
#dead boy detectives#the cat king#thomas the cat king#edwin payne#catwin#y'know... catwin's only a casual/crack ship for me compared to the beauty that is payneland...#but i think i might've convinced myself?#wow#analysis
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I know, I know we talked about the forest scene with Monty, Edwin and the Cat King to death. But, but. Hear me out.
Edwin was ready to both forgive Monty and thank the Cat King right then and there if they didn't push him, aka crossed a line in the sand for him.
When the Cat King initially informs him of Monty's betrayal, this is Edwin's reaction:
He looks confused, he looks hurt. But he doesn't look angry. Not yet. When he says "Were you just pretending to be my friend" he sounds hurt, but when he sees how Monty is affected, he still looks oddly touched. Especially when Monty says: "At first, yes! Then...no."
I know we joke about Edwin being awful at reading people, but Monty is obviously distressed and Edwin reacts to it. Besides, Monty is his friend. He wants to believe it wasn't all a ploy. But then, Monty makes a fatal mistake and brings up Charles. Immediately, Edwin's expression falls and then it turns angry and says: "Even if it were true, you are a bloody crow!"
We see Edwin forgive Simon, his killer, the person who was responsible for sending him to Hell, in mere minutes, once he finds out why Simon did it. I don't believe for a second he wouldn't have forgiven Monty in a heartbeat if Monty properly explained himself, instead of falling back to his hurt feelings and in turn, trying to hurt Edwin the same way by bringing up Charles. Which is a shame, because they really could have used each other's help.
As for the Cat King, I think it's a very similar story too!
Immediately after Monty walks away, Edwin closes his eyes and says: "I am such an idiot." And the Cat King nods, but you can already see most of the anger Edwin held towards Monty dispersing.
When the Cat King stops him from leaving and says: "I came all the way into this ridiculous forest to save you, I think I am at least owed a thank you," Edwin doesn't seem mad. I'd even go as far as to describe his expression as soft surprise. I think he is thankful, in that moment. And why wouldn't he be? The Cat King did save him from a trap.
It's only when the Cat King brings up a second kiss, implying he should thank him by kissing him, does Edwin grow angry again.
Also, importantly, the way Edwin pushes the Cat King away is almost gentle. Bitchy, and pissed off, for sure, but also gentle. Like, if it was someone who I genuinely didn't want anwhere near me, I'd shove them away by the shoulders, and with much more force. And sure! Edwin isn't a type for violence, but c'mon. We know he is capable if pressed, as seen when Esther hurt Charles.
Edwin keeps his anger tightly locked, only letting it out through his words. He practically spits out "I am not your toy to yank around." But even so, the only tense action we see from his is the way he cocks his head and demingly looks thr Cat King up and down.
Only after the Cat King threatens him, does Edwin get up in his personal space and almost violently(by his standards) shows him the bracelet, saying "This is all that you are. Do you understand?"
My point is, if both the Cat King and Monty essentially told/showed Edwin their actions are somehow tied into his reciprocation of his feelings. Funnily, enough, I feel like if either of them didn't base this interaction on that, and instead rather connected with Edwin emotionally, they would have had a shot at getting exactly what they wanted that night. Monty, Edwin's forgivness and the Cat King, Edwin's thankfulness, perhaps even a sense that he owes him, next time they see each other.
Which is great! Because it shows us sm about the characters, their flaws, and their priorities! But yeah. Talking about shooting themselves in the foot.
I also think that, for all we joke around Edwin holding grudges, he is actually incredible in how quickly he forgives people, as soon as they show the skightest initative for change/goodwill. Part of me hopes he and Monty meet again, just so Edwin can understand his pov, the same way he understood Simon and thr Cat King's but alas. I suppose we'll see
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#monty the crow#monty finch#the cat king#catwin#montwin#rio's rambly analysis
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Big fan of the idea that Niko and Crystal keep accidently walking in on a private moments between Charles and Edwin.
Something where they freeze up and stop breathing as soon as they notice, still in the doorway and incredibly thankful the door doesn't creak. They haven't been seen yet.
Charles is sitting on the coach, slouched a little, and Edwin on his lap. Crystal can't really see Edwin's face from this angle but it looks like they're talking, Charles occasionally leaning in to nip at his jaw or throat.
They're both stripped down a few layers, nothing indecent, just the clear desire of wanting to be closer to skin.
Charles has his thumbs under Edwin's shirt, just stroking the skin there. He says something and Edwin leans forward to kiss him, there's a lazy roll of his hips that has Edwin pulling back and hiding his face in Charles's shoulder.
There's no rush to their actions, it doesn't even seem like they're trying to get off as much as they're just enjoying each other.
It's... intimate and very distracting. They look really good together. To be completely honest, Crystal isn't entirely sure who to look at - the confident and so very careful way Charles is easing Edwin into it, sharp eyes watching for any hesitation or displeasure or the slow and sweet way Edwin is letting himself sink into it, trusting and oh dear god they need to focus. They absolutely can't be seen.
Edwin will freak out. He'll get flustered and embarrassed, work himself up into panic, and never let himself relax enough to be in a situation like this again. It took Charles and him a long time to even get to this point, over 30 years, and she refuses to be the reason why this never happens again.
Niko and her have backed up slowly and are almost back through the door when she glances up and freezes. Charles is watching them out of the very corner of his eye, a warning look on his face, and she tries to convey that she knows and they're working on it, okay? Keep him distracted.
She rolls her eyes a little at him. Protective asshole probably doesn't like anyone else seeing Edwin like this, not that she blames him. She's had fleeting thoughts before that Edwin could be very attractive, especially if he updated his style, but she never really thought of him as attractive. She sees the appeal now though, how good Edwin looks with someone who knows what to do with him.
The flush on Niko's cheeks seem to indicate she's feeling the same way.
Edwin says something and Charles easily turns all his attention back to him again, a pleased grin breaking out on his face and he looks absolutely smitten.
Even when she and Charles had their little thing, he never looked at her like that and honestly there's no way he would look at anyone except Edwin like that.
The door closes silently behind them and they both sigh, exhausted and relieved. They take off down the hallway as quickly and quietly as they can.
They'll come back later.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
Been thinking about intimacy and relationship dynamics...
Also Charles is 100% someone who always starts smiling when he's kissing.
#dead boy detectives#payneland#charles rowland#edwin payne#i just think they're neat#crystal palace#niko sasaki#dbd#solving cases with greyskyflowers
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I know in hell where Edwin meets Simon that Edwin only looks at one page, and it has S+E on it, but it's probably very likely that every page has it. So it's not just him being punished with papercuts. He also has to tear out his queer feelings essentially, and he will only be freed once the pages are all gone, but the book keeps replenishing. So, he has had to sit with the fact that he is queer and eventually started to believe that's why he was being punished. He believes it has to be torture to be queer, only for Edwin to come along and tell him that if he hates himself, he will always be tortured, and only then does he think that maybe he doesn't have to tear out the pages anymore. Because someone told him it was ok and he didn't have to punish himself.
So yeah, I love this scene a lot, and it says a lot of very interesting things.
#dead boy detectives#i saw another post talking about simons scene and i was going to leave a comment#but then it became a whole post#whoops
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