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alexthedrummerboy · 4 years ago

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Darkest Before The Dawn

pairing: willex, past luke/alex

summary: "your parents were never cool again after you told them you were gay.” OR an exploration into alex’s past, his family life, and his relationship with religion

essentially this is all one big angsty headcanon

authors note: basically i’ve been thinking about the gold chain alex wears around his neck and i’ve been way overanalysing what it is and i thought - what if it used to be a cross necklace that his devout parents made him wear?? also i’m so desperate for alex to have more backstory that i’m pulling it out of every nook and cranny at this point

trigger warning: homophobia, bad parenting

ao3

It starts when he’s seven. He’d invited Bobby over to his house after school to play, not knowing that his dad had come home from work early. They’re sitting at the dining table, drawing with Alex’s new 36 pack of crayons when he hears it.

“I just think letting him do all that... art stuff is gonna make him...” he hears his dad say to his mom, “...soft. Girly. We already have one daughter, we don’t need another one.”

Alex doesn’t really understand what his Dad means, but he drops the crayon he’s holding and pokes Bobby on the wrist lightly. “I’m bored,” he says quietly, though his picture remains on the table unfinished. “Can we go do somethin’ else?”

Bobby furrows his eyebrows and looks down at his paper. “But... I didn’t finish colouring my dragon.”

Alex looks at his Dad in the kitchen. He’s still talking to his mom, both of their heads bowed. He has that look on his face that reminds Alex of the time his mom tried to convince them to go vegetarian for a week. “We can finish colouring later... maybe,” he says. “Let’s go play in my room.”

Bobby takes one last look at his drawing but nods, gently folding the piece of paper in half and tucking it into his backpack. “Okay.”

They walk up to Alex’s room together, hand-in-hand like always. They pass the kitchen on the way and Alex’s dad turns his head, scowling deeper when he looks at their hands. Suddenly Alex feels cold all over.

“Boys,” he says, deep voice booming. “You’re getting a little old to be holding hands, aren’t you?”

Alex lets go of Bobby’s hand immediately and tucks it into his trouser pocket instead, nodding. Bobby looks like he wants to protest but Alex just nudges him and nods towards his room.

They walk away and Alex tries to brush the experience off. He doesn’t eat much at dinner that night.

---

His dad makes him quit choir the next year. He’s up in his room practicing for the Christmas festival when he hears three quiet knocks.

“Come in,” he says, closing his music book. His dad walks in, still in his shirt and tie from work. “Oh. Hi, Dad.”

His dad smiles stiffly. “Alex, what are you doing?”

Alex looks between his dad and his choir book for a moment. “Practicing for the festival,” he says, a smile growing on his face. “Mrs. Carson gave me a solo for the first--”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” his dad says, pursing his lips. “Wouldn’t you be happier... playing a sport or something? What about baseball? You know when your old man was in school, I was a real killer on the pitch.”

Alex’s tongue feels dry in his mouth the longer his dad speaks. He hates baseball. “Um... I-I like choir, though.” His voice is quiet, barely above a breath. His dad sighs and shakes his head. Alex feels an overwhelming sense of anxiety rise inside his chest. He hates disappointing people.

“I’m just worried about you, son,” he says, sitting down on the edge of Alex’s bed. “Okay, maybe not baseball. How about... soccer?”

Alex shuffles around on his chair. He feels like his heart has stopped beating. “Drums,” he mumbles, looking down at his hands. His dad leans closer.

“Speak up, Alex.”

Alex looks up, clenching his jaw. “I-I wanna learn how to play the drums,” he says. “L-like that guy from The Rolling Stones.”

His dad goes quiet, scratching his chin like he’s thinking about it, before he smiles and nods. He claps Alex on the shoulder hard enough that it makes him wince. “Drums eh? Sure, we’ll get you a kit and you can set it up in the basement.” As he turns to walk out of Alex’s room, he turns and throws him a cheeky smile. “My boy, the drummer. You know they say girls love drummers.”

Alex isn’t sure why, but that comment makes him feel sick. He stares at his closed door for too long after his dad leaves, his thoughts twisting and turning in his mind.

---

When Alex receives his first cross, he’s 12-years-old. He immediately vows never to take it off. It’s a beautiful piece of jewellery; a small gold cross on a solid gold chain. When his mom slips it around his neck, he feels... protected, somehow. Safe.

His mom smiles at him tearily as she hooks the clasp around his neck, running her hand down the side of his face. “Congratulations, baby,” she says quietly. “You know, my mother gave me my first cross when I was exactly your age. ”

Alex just smiles and tugs on the chain lightly, feeling the cool metal against his thumb and forefinger. “Thanks, mom,” he says quietly, looking down at where it’s dangling against the soft blue of his button down.

His sister, Andrea, comes from behind him and knocks his shoulder lightly. Her own cross is silver and smaller than his, contrasting against her light skin perfectly. He doesn’t remember when she got hers. She was four years older than him and got hers when he was just a little kid. “Congrats, Lexi,” she says.

His dad comes out of the kitchen, a bottle of champagne in one hand and two flutes in the other. He’s beaming. “This calls for a celebration!”

His mother looks at his dad and tuts quietly, though she still looks pleased. “Michael, it’s barely 9. We have to leave for church soon.”

His dad simply brushes off her worry. “My son is being confirmed, Linda. We’re celebrating.” He kisses her on the cheek and hands her a champagne flute. “It won’t take long.”

He pours himself and Alex’s mother a small amount of champagne and Alex watches, entranced as they cheers and take a sip. His mother and his father lock eyes before handing their glasses to Alex and Andrea, smiling secret smiles.

“Just this once,” his dad says. “Just one sip.”

Andrea takes the flute immediately and takes a sip. Alex watches her for a moment before taking his dad’s flute and lifting it up to his mouth.

The bubbles fizz and pop in his mouth. The taste is unpleasant, but... the feeling of his dad’s eyes on him, proud and sparkling with happiness make the experience a million times better.

As they drive to church, Alex keeps his hand firmly clasped around his cross, smiling the entire time.

---

Alex receives his first kiss when he’s 14. It happens in his basement with Luke Patterson. He’d invited him over so they could work on a song together. Luke had discovered him playing drums in the music room one day and had instantly recruited him to join his band, alongside Bobby and Reggie Anderson.

They’d long since abandoned practicing any form of music and were lounging on the couch in Alex’s basement, playing video games on his Sega Genesis. He’s so close to beating Luke at Mortal Kombat. They’ve been playing for 45 minutes and Alex has managed to lose every round so far.

But, with a fatal blow, Alex watches his character drop to his knees as Luke’s character poses victoriously. He groans loudly and leans back against the couch, trying his best not to pout as he hears Luke’s laughter next to him. “No fair!” he exclaims, dropping his controller beside him on the couch.

Luke smirks, boxing Alex in the shoulder lightly. “Not my fault I’m better at this game than you are,” he says. He’s leaning towards Alex, his face mere inches away from his shoulder. “I’m just naturally skilled.”

Alex blushes and shuffles away from him, leaning into the arm rest and trying to ignore his heart as it pounds away in his chest. “Naturally ugly, more like,” he mumbles. It’s not the best comeback, but he can’t really focus right now.

Luke laughs anyway, punching Alex’s arm again and turning back to face the TV. Neither of them speak for a moment but Alex can feel the air thicken with a strange tension that he’s never felt before.

His hand automatically comes up to grip his cross, the edges of the metal digging into his palm. He takes a short breath in and out, feeling the cold metal warm up in his hand.

He feels Luke’s eyes on him and he turns. There’s a small smile on Luke’s face that Alex can’t help but return. “What?” he asks.

Luke shrugs. “Nothin’,” he says softly.

Then, he leans in closer. Alex does not pull away.

Before he even realises what’s happening, they’re kissing. It’s chaste and completely innocent; a light press of lips against lips. Alex can tell that Luke hasn’t bothered to put on chapstick in his entire 14 years of life, but he tastes vaguely of grape bubblegum and iced tea. It’s nice.

As they kiss, he feels his grip on his cross loosen until his hand falls completely slack, landing on top of Luke’s hand where it’s resting on a cushion.

They’re interrupted by the sound of footsteps against carpeted stairs. Alex jumps out of his seat and lands on the floor in front of the couch. Luke loses his balance and falls after him, landing face first in the couch cushion where Alex had just been sitting.

The basement door opens and Andrea pokes her head through, holding two capri suns and a bowl full of chips. She sees Alex on the floor and furrows her eyebrows. “Why are you on the ground?”

Alex clears his throat and blinks down at his knees, trying to hide his shaking hands. “Um... it-it’s more comfortable down here,” he mumbles.

Andrea shrugs and walks in, placing the bowl of chips and the drinks on the coffee table. “Mom told me to give these to you.” She looks between the TV and the two of them. “I thought you guys were practicing.”

“We were!” Luke says, standing up and walking over to where his guitar is resting on the other side of the room. “We took a quick video game break, but we’re ready to get back to work. Right, Alex?”

Alex nods, but he can’t stand back up. “Right,” he says breathlessly, giving Andrea a weak smile. “Thanks for the snacks.”

Andrea nods, but she looks suspicious. She walks out of the room and shuts the door behind her. Alex doesn’t exhale until her footsteps have retreated completely. He breathes out shakily and draws his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

“Hey,” Luke says, running to Alex’s side. His hand hovers above Alex’s back before resting just behind him on the couch. “You okay?”

It takes a minute, but eventually Alex nods and looks up at Luke. “Yeah,” he replies, though his hands are still balled into tight fists. “I’m good.”

Luke nods, his hand tightening and loosening its grip on the couch cushion a few times. “Was that... weird?” he asks quietly. Alex has never heard him sound this unsure before.

He shakes his head, a small smile growing on his face. “No,” he says quietly, and he means it too. “I don’t think so, anyway.”

Luke nods again, smiling brightly at Alex. “Okay. Cool.”

“Can we not... tell anyone? About that?” He asks quietly, looking up at Luke, eyes pleading. “I-I don’t know if I’m... if that...”

“Alex, of course,” Luke says earnestly, finally reaching over and resting his hand in Alex’s shoulder. “It’ll be just between us.”

Alex nods, smiling weakly. “Cool. Thanks.”

He feels mildly comforted by Luke’s words, but he can’t help the anxiety that grows in his stomach. He stands up and walks over to his kit, sitting down at his stool and twirling his drumstick in his hand.

When he closes his eyes that night, snuggled up in his bed, all he can think about are warm lips and iced tea.

---

He comes out at 16.

It doesn’t go well.

His mom cries like he’s just told her he died... but what makes him more anxious is his dad’s reaction.

He doesn’t say anything at first. Just stares at Alex with that those hard, light eyes. He doesn’t even look angry, he just looks... disappointed.

“Dad?” he says quietly. The word gets caught in his throat.

His dad breathes in slowly and stands up. He walks out of the living room shaking his head. Alex watches him go until he’s completely out of sight. All he can hear are his mothers sobs. All he can feel is the weight of his guilt pressing down on him.

His cross feels like it’s burning his skin through the fabric of his t-shirt. Suddenly it feels like he’s wearing a ten pound weight around his neck. It’s hard to swallow.

He wants to comfort his mom, but he doesn’t even know what he would say. What could he say that wouldn’t make everything worse?

So, he stands up and takes one last look at his mom before walking down the hall. He passes Andrea on the way to the basement. She looks at him and then toward the living room where they can both hear their mother’s sobs.

“What’s wrong with mom?” she asks, placing a hand on his elbow. The touch burns.

Alex opens his mouth to speak but the words he wants to say get stuck in his throat. He brushes past her, ignoring her questions and running down the stairs to the basement and shutting the door behind him.

He sits down behind his drums and raises his hand to clasp his necklace, holding it so tightly his hand begins to hurt. He can’t cry. He thinks if he could, then maybe he’d feel better, but... the tears won’t come.

So, he lets go of his cross and picks up his sticks instead, twirling the left one in his hand a few times before hitting his high tom once, hard. It feels good, but the feeling doesn’t last long.

Eventually, he loses himself in the rhythm, hitting each drum harder than the last. He forgets for a moment; forgets about the disaster that had happened just minutes ago upstairs. He pauses for a minute to catch his breath but finds his mind wandering; is his mother still crying? Why hadn’t his dad said anything?

He shakes the thought free before pounding on his drums again. He’s not even beating out a rhythm now; he’s just trying to fill the space with noise to keep his thoughts out.

He’s interrupted when the door opens. It's his dad, holding an empty duffel bag, a somber expression on his face. Alex raises his eyebrows and takes his earplugs out of his ears. “Dad?”

His dad winces when Alex speaks, throwing the empty duffel bag onto the floor. “Pack your things.”

All the blood drains from Alex’s face and he stands up on shaky legs. He’s gripping his drumsticks so tightly, it’s a miracle that the wood doesn’t fuse with his skin. “Wh-where’re we goin’?” he asks, though he has a suspicion.

“We aren’t going anywhere, son,” his dad says. His eyes are on the carpet. He can’t even look at Alex. “Your mother and I... we can’t have you staying in this house.”

“What?!”

“If you’re going to choose to live with your... affliction,” he spits out the word like it’s poison; and in his dad’s mind, perhaps it is, “then it won’t do to have you living here, corrupting us with your ungodly temptations.”

“Dad--”

His father holds up a hand. “I’ll give you 15 minutes to get your things and leave.” He turns to leave the basement but Alex calls him back.

“Where am I supposed to go?” he asks, voice cracking as he tries to fight the tears that threaten to run down his cheeks. He knows crying will only make him more upset. His father doesn’t turn around.

“You can figure that out on your own.” Then, he walks out. Alex is alone. After a few moments, he walks out from behind his drums and picks up the. empty bag with weak hands and walks up to his room.

He’s working on autopilot as he shoves clothes and shoes and random items (when will he ever need his model robot?) into the bag until it’s almost full to bursting. He drops the bag on his bed and stares at it. He can’t hear anything; all the sounds around him are dull, muted almost.

He turns around and catches a glimpse of his reflection in his bedroom mirror. He still looks the same as he had that morning when he’d gotten dressed for school. There are still drawings on the back of his hand in blue and black ink from third period when Bobby and Luke decided to draw on him in lieu of paying attention to what Mr. Peters was saying.

Remarkably, he looks the same... but he couldn’t be more different.

Alex’s eyes drop to the necklace around his neck. It almost hurts to look at now. He’d done well by his vow; hadn’t ever taken it off, even when Jeremy Matthews teased him about it (and received a firm smack on the head from Reggie).

Shakily, he lifts his hands and unclasps the necklace, holding onto the chain so tight that the links begin to make grooves in his skin. He takes hold of the cross and swallows thickly, looking at his warped reflection in the surface of it.

He slowly slides the cross off of the chain and places it on his nightstand. The chain, though, he keeps though he doesn’t really know why. He puts the chain back around his neck. It feels bare without the cross on it weighing it down, but... Alex finds he kind of likes it.

With that, he picks up his duffel bag and walks out of his room. He can hear the quiet sound of scraping cutlery against ceramic and he winces. They’d started dinner without him.

As he walks towards the front door, he passes the dining table. When she hears his footsteps, Andrea looks up from her untouched plate of food and stands up. Alex shakes his head silently at her, gripping his bag strap tighter.

His parents don’t even look up. He gives Andrea a half-hearted smile and a wave before walking out the front door. He doesn’t bother taking his keys with him; he knows he won’t need to use them again.

The cold, night air smacks him right in the face as soon as he closes the door behind him. Then, without a second glance, he leaves and begins the short trek to Bobby’s house.

---

“So, I was wondering...”

Willie turns to Alex and smiles at him, squeezing his hand gently. “Yeah?”

They’ve been walking down the pier together in comfortable silence for almost 15 minutes, but the question bubbles up in Alex’s chest before he can control himself.

Alex looks down at their interlaced fingers before gesturing towards the necklace around Willie’s neck. “What’s that key around your neck for?”

At the mention of his necklace, Willie wraps his hand around the key and gives it a light tug with his free hand. If Alex notices how Willie’s slowed their walking pace slightly, he doesn’t say anything.

“It’s my house key,” he says softly. Alex parts his lips in surprise. “When I was a kid, I... I was pretty irresponsible. I was always losing things in random places. My mom used to tell me I’d lose my arms if they weren’t attached to my shoulders.” The smile on his face makes Alex want to cry. “When my folks gave me my first house key, it felt like I was finally growing up. I was so scared I would lose it, so I bought a chain. I’ve worn it around my neck ever since.”

“Even after...” Alex doesn’t continue his train of thought but Willie understands regardless. He nods.

“When I woke up after the accident, it was actually the first thing I reached for,” Willie says quietly, gripping Alex’s hand like a lifeline. “Force of habit, I guess.”

“Have you ever tried to visit your place?” Alex asks quietly, steering Willie towards the edge of the pier so they can sit by the water. Willie nods.

“A couple times. After I died, I didn’t visit for months. It hurt too much.” He pauses, looking out over the water as he scoots closer to Alex until their shoulders are pressed together. “I visited them for the first time a year after I’d died. I couldn’t go in. I was too scared, so I just watched from the windows like a total creeper.” There’s a chuckle in Willie’s voice that astounds Alex. He doesn’t know how he can be so cheerful even while talking about something so heartbreaking. “My family moved sometime around ‘89. I haven’t tried to find them since.”

Alex nods, listening to the sound of the crashing waves and seagulls as they fly overhead. He doesn’t feel pressured to comfort Willie at all. He thinks that telling him his story might’ve upset Alex more than it upset him. Instead, he rubs his knuckles with his thumb slowly, his finger savouring the feel of every dip and crevice.

“What about you?” Willie asks suddenly, turning to Alex. There’s a smile in his eye that Alex never wants to look away from. “Is that gold chain around your neck a remnant from your gangster rap phase, or...?”

Alex laughs brightly, throwing his head back. He can feel Willie laughing too, his shoulders bouncing up and down with every giggle. He stops and breathes out quietly, looking down at his chain and hooking his finger through it.

“Um... there used to be a cross hanging from it,” he says. “My parents got it for me for my confirmation when I was 12. I basically didn’t take it off for five years.”

Willie pauses, shuffles closer; almost as if he can tell what’s coming next. He doesn’t say anything, though, and somehow that makes it easier for Alex to keep going.

“When I came out, my parents um... they weren’t very cool about it,” he says, tugging a little harder on the chain. “My dad kicked me out.” Willie’s grip on his hand tightens and Alex lets out a breath. “When I was leaving, I took the cross off. It didn’t seem right to keep it after...” he clears his throat. “I kept the chain. I’m still not really sure why... I’ve been thinking about it ever since I left home. I think it’s just... a reminder of why I left and what I have now.”

Willie smiles, bumping their shoulders together. “What do you have now?”

He looks at Willie and find that he can’t control the smile that’s growing on his face either. Under the setting sun, Willie looks so beautiful; his tanned skin practically glowing and long dark hair moving with the breeze. He leans in and brushes a gentle kiss against the side of his lips. He feels Willie’s hand come up to cup his cheek and he leans into the touch.

They pull away from each other after a few seconds and Alex smiles again, resting their foreheads together.

“Freedom.”

#alex jatp #willex #willie jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #owen patrick joyner #booboo stewart #writing tag

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shrikemp3 · 4 years ago

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(1/3) hi i'm muslim and i have a totally different perception of samirah. while i know and understand that samirah wasn't the best representation of a muslim american, i don't think she's bad at all. i remember reading the part where she says Allahu akbar and being SO delighted that magnus respectfully asks about it and lets her explain because it's also teaching the readers. and despite arranged marriages being a negative stereotype of muslims, it's a definitely a real thing. BUT it's not

(2/3) forced marriage like the stereotype depicts. also marriage between cousins is real in muslim countries. my grandparents are cousins. afaik the stigma around cousin marriage is a western idea- there was a study that stated it could cause birth defects but it was later disproved. i genuinely think rick did a good job of representing this. samirah and amir clearly like each other and if they didn't their families wouldn't force them to get married bc that's not what arranged marriage is. I DO (3/3) have a prob with how samirah is portrayed as an on/off hijabi. with all the research he did, rick could've checked the rules of hijab. i wish he had just made her a non-hijabi that has a scarf with her bc it's magical and so she can pray when she needs to. he does say that the way she wears it is based on what he saw his students do, which is easy to believe because he taught middle school and i've seen it happen in my own school. i don't really accept it as a valid explanation though.

okay, first things first: i loved samirah when i first read magnus chase. i was so happy to see a muslim character that isn’t just defined by their religion in a fantasy book. i was also 14 at the time and i was so overwhelmed by the fact that she’s muslim that i didn’t realize the flaws in her writing. i’m not gonna talk about the allahu akbar thing because i’m honestly conflicted. the way magnus says that “it’s never said in a positive way” was just... not good. but as you said, it’s a teaching moment so i guess i’ll let it slide. my biggest problem is with her relationship with amir. i know that arranged marriage isn’t always forced. i know that marriage between cousins happen. i know this because i’m a muslim born and raised in a muslim country. i have my personal problems with arranged marriage as a whole but i acknowledge that it’s not always forced marriage. but the way it’s written in the magnus chase books makes me really uncomfortable. first and foremost it’s because she was 12 when they got “engaged”. now, as i said before, i live in a muslim country but arranged marriages here never start this young. you have to at least finish your education first before getting engaged. most people get engaged in their 20s. and the justification for it here? even worse. “When [my mother] died … well, in the local community, I was damaged goods, a bastard child. My grandparents were lucky, very lucky, to get the Fadlans’ blessing for me to marry Amir. I won’t really bring anything to the marriage. I’m not rich or respectable or –” (Magnus Chase, Sword of Summer) this line made me uncomfortable from the moment i read it because it’s samirah beating herself up for something that’s not her fault. her grandparents used her to make the image of their family better (and yes, i know this happens a LOT in muslim societies especially with women but it’s an awful thing that shouldn’t happen) and she’s tying her entire worth to her relationship with amir. yes, i know she had a crush on him since she was 12 but that’s not an excuse to get engaged! i know that some people say that arranged marriage is about choice, but a 12 year old girl can’t make a choice like this especially when she feels so insecure about herself. every time she talks about her grandparents/what they think of her it’s always something negative too. she didn’t agree to this engagement because she had a crush on amir, it’s because she feels guilty over something she had no control over (her mom’s relationship with loki and having her) and wants to fix it by making the family’s image better. again, yes, this happens in muslim communities but it’s not a positive thing and it shouldn’t be portrayed in a positive light by anyone, especially not by an american white guy who thinks he can write something like this just because he memorized a surah and some hadith. i have no problems with other muslims finding representation in samirah al-abbas, i personally think she’s great. but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any flaws in her writing, especially considering all of RR’s characters of color, especially the girls, have problems like this too.

#samirah al abbas #mcga #rr crit #rick riordan

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im-like-if-a-girl · 4 years ago

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*THE* mean-girl-dean-girl's Supernatural reboot MEGAPOST!

I'm gonna stick a little "keeping reading" here because hoooooo boy, this is a very long post.

Let's start with

Plot

Season 1

Dean kills John while they are out on a hunt in a crime of passion, but Dean doesn't remember because he blacked out. Cue Dean going to Stanford to get Sam and tell him "Dad's on a hunting trip... and he hasn't been home in a couple days."

The audience doesn't know what happened to John, but slowly figures it out with Dean and Sam as Dean slowly remembers what happened that night.

The entire first season, the boys are following the trail John left and fighting monsters as well. They find out Dean was with John, Sam realizes Dean has an unreliable memory, they have heart to hearts about their childhood and the fire, they find John's body, "how could you kill Dad?" but maybe Dean didn't kill dad, whooaaaaaa, misdirection.

It was actually good ole yeller eyes (Azazel) and he made it look like Dean killed John.

Okay, now let's move on to the first episode

Not sure how the opening would work, I would like the story of the fire to be revealed over the course of the first season, but maybe the opening scene could be a little bit of an establishing character relationships and backstory, idk, I haven't thought that far yet.

I'm thinking maybe it's like, Dean gets back to a motel room covered in blood and he listens to a voicemail on his phone from John saying he was on a hunt or something, I don't really know lol.

HOWEVER

I do know that after the intro rolls, we get a scene of Sam waking up to his alarm and "Nine to Five" by Dolly Parton starts playing.

Y'all know where this is going.

Cue a montage of Sam's normal Stanford college life (him sitting through lectures, walking through the campus with friends) spliced with scenes of Dean absolutely slaughtering a nest of vampires (or some other monsters, whatever works best.)

But

Now onto

Characters!!! (And descriptions)

Dean Winchester

Some lovely person on this site made edits of Dean with platinum blond hair and it made me feel some kind of way so we're doing that, homie's gonna have platinum blond hair

Side note about the hair, later when the brothers are running from the FBI he dyes it a dirty blond/light brown (insert jackles hair color controversy here) as a disguise.

He also gets tattoos because we were robbed.

Speaking of tattoos, concept: when Dean comes back from Hell, all of his tattoos are gone. His body is a clean slate, devoid of tattoos, scars, etc. So he gets his tattoos done all over again, which he doesn't mind because he made some bad, drunk tattoo decisions in his youth.

(And before you ask, yes, he does get one for Cas, either a bee or Cas's name in enochian, something cute.)

Dean goes to therapy after Sam gets sent to the Cage.

It's actually court mandated because he got in trouble, lol, he would never go to therapy on his own.

Along with the hair, Dean gets to be the grade A twunk we all know he is.

Sam Winchester

His hair gets longer in every scene he's in

No jk, but imagine

King of Microaggressions

Sam starts off like the sweetheart he is in season 1 but in later seasons he starts enjoying killing a little too much...

It's that demon blood, ba-by!!!

He brings up issues of morality to Dean, i.e. killing monsters who aren't hurting anyone. (Yes I know this is contradictory to my previous statement, but these two facets of Sam can and will coexist.)

Sam and Jess's relationship is explored further, meaning we'll need to start with a different inciting incident, but that's fine, I think everyone can agree fridgings are *(thumbs down)*

Sam doesn't truly know what happened the night of the fire until later, and then he understands why Dean is so protective of him.

Jess

She gets to live beyond the first episode

She is also trans

No, I don't feel like I have to explain myself and I won't 💜

She urges Sam to join Dean in a search for their brother, kind of gets pulled into the hunter lifestyle by association lol.

She dies on a rusty nail after fighting vampires on a routine hunt with Sam

No jk!!!

But imagine....

She's amazing and I love her and Lucifer also uses her as leverage against Sam and possesses her because I think that'd be cool.

She supports Sam 100% and also she and Dean are buddies, pals if you will.

She meets Cas Thee El and immediately she Knows, that is a homosexual.

She dies still so that we can have a Saileen Endgame but she's not dying the first episode or in a fridging. Not on my watch.

Castiel

He gets to keep his raw, light-fixture-exploding power.

I want more of that "I pulled you out of hell, I can throw you back in" energy except over dumb shit like Dean not cleaning up after himself.

He looks like a Dilf in every scene he's in, yeah, that's right, dilf with a capital D for *(GUNSHOTS)* *(gets sent to horny jail)*

Claire

She gets pink hair

And more time with Cas

And maybe a nose piercing

Feel like she should be able to kill a couple angels onscreen, punch a couple homophobes

She gets to meet Jack and teaches him swears and fun slang words.

She deserves it.

Jack

I says "that's my baby and I'm proud."

Jack starts off as a baby, but like Amara he grows up super quickly.

Like, baby to 11 year old in a couple days or less.

This is because Jack's emotional age on the show is on par with that of a 5th grader.

It's at this point when he's a young kid that he runs away from the Bunker and shenanigans ensue.

It's also at this point that Dean threatens to k*ll him.

(Still not sure if I want that in my Supernatural (threatened infanticide? In my Supernatural? It's more likely than you think) but we'll see. We'll see.)

Throughout a majority of season 13, Jack is like an 11 y.o. kid

Season 14 he's like a 16 y.o. teenager

Season 15 he's 21, you get the picture.

Listen, I love Alex Calvert a lot. He's great.

But Jack is a child and should be a child.

Kelly Kline

Kelly, baby, stay right where you are, you're perfect.

Eileen

SHE DOESN'T DIE

SHE GETS TO BE IN THE FINALE BECAUSE SHE'S AMAZING AND I LOVE HER.

BLURRY WIFE WHO? I ONLY KNOW SAILEEN ENDGAME!

She teaches Claire and Jack swears in sign-language. Castiel is not impressed.

John

J*hn W*nchester stans, DNI.

He's dead.

We only see him in flashbacks and only sometimes hear his voice in voice overs.

He's not "down the road" from Dean in Heaven, in fact he instead gets to wander around in some Purgatory like Hell for the rest of his time :)

People who get to say "fuck" on the show:

Cas (but only Once)

Jody

Bobby

Now onto other things

I want more of

Ghostfacers

(they need more screentime because I love them)

Dean/Benny

We know they had a thing.

They definitely had a thing.

Demon Dean

Again, I feel like more should've been done with this. All that build up for what, 2 episodes? was not utilized well at all.

Dean's Bisexuality

Straight Dean truthers DNI, my Supernatural is a show about love and being true to yourself

You think Supernatural is a show about 2 straight brothers fighting monsters?

Naw bitch, this is a show about the Gay Experience

He will get to have relations with men on this show.

Of course, only after John dies does he, y'know, display it. Maybe he kisses Cas on his dad's grave just to fuck John over, make him roll in grave.

We all agree John would be/is a homophobe piece of shit, right?

Okay, glad we're on the same page.

Dads

3 men and a baby with Jack is what I'm saying.

I love it when the Trio are father-figures to younger troubled characters they see themselves in, even better if it's like reluctant-but-loving father figure, oh, that trope gets me every time :'^)

Dadstiel and DadDean are my favorites, but I like it when Sam plays "Uncle Sam" to kids too lol.

"Fellas, is it gay to want a tight knit family with your husband, his son, his vessel's daughter, your brother, his wife, your cop mother figure and her wife and their adopted daughters? Asking for a friend."

Garth

Biggest flaw of Supernatural was underutilizing Garth.

I will never not be bitter that Garth was only in like, 7 episodes out of the whole 15 season series.

Every episode with Garth gets immediately 5 times better.

I love Garth.

Follow ups on characters who had entire episodes featured around them and then just... vanished???

This is mostly about Jesse, the magic kid whose imagination ruled an entire town like, his daddy was a demon and nothing came of that kid??? Only one episode about him?? No follow up???

KID CAN MANIPULATE REALITY AND WE'RE NOT GONNA GET A FOLLOW UP ON THAT?????

Uh, there was that one episode with Ennis the guy whose girlfriend was killed by a monster? I think?? Who we never see again, that was weird.

Tamara from season 3, episode 1.

And of course-

Cassie

She was so cool, and then we never saw her again :////

She gets to be a badass.

Religious imagery

As a former Catholic school student who has become for the most part, disillusioned with religion, religious imagery in TV shows like Supernatural make my brain go "brrrrrr."

Fun episodes!!!

Like, after season 6 or so, there's a drop in funny episodes

I'm talking Changing Channels, The French Mistake type stuff. (Scoobynatural is an outlier and should not be counted.)

So anyway

In my version we would have more fun episodes

I'm thinking

GENDER-SWAP EPISODE, BABY!!

(why they didn't do that in the original, we'll never know.)

An episode where Dean gets to wear eyeliner

That's it, end of post.

I want less

Racism

Yeah I feel like this is self explanatory, nearly every reoccurring character in SPN is white, and black side characters normally die in the episode they first appear in, or they'll be featured as a villain (Uriel, Raphael, Billie, etc)

Also there's a lot of... uh... asian fetishism featured in the show (what with "Busty Asian Beauties) that's really gross, also Kevin was a bit of a stereotype...

Also also it's super yucky how they kill the gods from other religions like???? Uh??? That's super disrespectful, let's not do that????

I know Supernatural is like, inherently racist because monsters are a separate race that are seen as some dangerous "other" that must be eradicated by hunters in a form of genocide-

Okay we won't get into that but

Still

Stop killing all your POC

Fridgings/Unecessary murders of female characters

I know Supernatural starts with a fridging, so this will be a hard thing to remedy, but

One death that really pissed me off was the death of Charlie

Yeah, that was pointless and we're not doing that. Charlie gets to live and be an awesome aunt to Jack.

And also Claire

Charlie Bradbury Superiority

Charlie and Garth get to meet because they're nerd/geek solidarity.

British Men of Letters

I fucking hate these guys

They're "litcherally" the worst.

The worst part is that the actors they have playing the British AREN'T. EVEN. BRITISH.

And you can tell

Uh, and that's all for now, I'll add more later.

tag list for people who liked my "if this post gets one like I'll post my SPN reboot masterpost" post.

@darianyunidi @sarasidlesaid @crazybananaalpaca @playfulpanthress @ultfreakme @fififeelsmellow @heller-char @luna8eaton @princessmeganfire @insanebot109 @queenofnightsnow @mongoose-underthehouse

Thank you for the support, hope the wait was worth it.

27 notes · View notes

bolintheturtleduck · 3 years ago

Text

Song Ranking

So I did that song ranking thing and it took HOURS. literal HOURS. Don’t ever do it, I won’t even link it. I hated doing it. But here is my list. And dare I say my Top 130 is immaculate hjgkhg

Some of this is not really accurate though. Could be me or the generator. Like ‘Cold Hearted’ being 500 something???? Not in my house.

Also don’t go looking for christmas songs. They are all somewhere down there lmao

Anyways! Let’s go!

1 Nasty / Rhythm Nation

1 Rumour Has It / Someone Like You

3 Be Okay

4 Love You Like A Love Song

4 Seasons Of Love

6 Mustang Sally

7 So Emotional

8 Tightrope

9 Barely Breathing

10 Cough Syrup

11 Shake It Out

11 The Boy Is Mine

13 Back To Black

14 Valerie

15 Paradise By The Dashboard Light

16 River Deep, Mountain High

17 Problem

18 Faithfully

19 Gloria

20 I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

21 How Will I Know

22 We Are Young

23 How To Be A Heartbreaker

24 Hand In My Pocket / I Feel The Earth Move

25 If I Die Young

26 I Feel Pretty / Unpretty

27 Bust Your Windows

28 Candyman

29 American Boy

30 I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) / You Make My Dreams

31 If I Can't Have You

32 It's All Coming Back To Me Now

33 Crazy / U Drive Me Crazy

34 ABC

35 Bad Romance

36 It's Too Late

37 Hungry Like The Wolf / Rio

38 I Wish

39 Need You Now

40 Landslide

41 Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer

42 Thriller / Heads Will Roll

43 What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)

44 There Are Worse Things I Could Do

45 Losing My Religion

46 The Edge Of Glory

47 Teenage Dream (Acoustic Version)

48 Make You Feel My Love

49 My Prerogative

50 Singing In The Rain / Umbrella

51 Songbird

52 Spotlight

53 Mine

54 Take Me Or Leave Me

55 Take Me To Church

56 No Surrender

57 Never Say Never

58 Constant Craving

59 Brave

60 Born This Way

61 Pumpin' Blood

62 Blame It (On The Alcohol)

63 Glad You Came

64 Give Your Heart A Break

65 It's All Over

66 It's Not Right, But It's Okay

67 Everybody Talks

68 Here Comes The Sun

69 Into The Groove

70 In Your Eyes

71 I Don't Want To Know

72 I Lived

73 I Kissed A Girl

74 Halo / Walking On Sunshine

75 You Can't Stop The Beat

76 She's Not There

77 Nutbush City Limits

78 True Colors

79 Can't Fight This Feeling

80 Breakaway

81 Dancing Queen

82 Don't Stop Me Now

83 And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

84 Empire State Of Mind

85 Doo Wop (That Thing)

86 Arthur's Theme

87 Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy

88 Toxic

89 This Is The New Year

90 Last Name

91 3

92 A Change Would Do You Good

93 Got To Get You Into My Life

94 Tongue Tied

95 Smooth Criminal

96 Papa Don't Preach

97 Animal

97 Another One Bites The Dust

99 Don't Speak

100 Don't You Want Me

101 A Hard Day's Night

102 Some Nights

103 Somebody That I Used To Know

104 Superstition

105 Survivor / I Will Survive

106 My Life Would Suck Without You

107 The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

108 Misery

109 My Love Is Your Love

110 Somewhere Only We Know

111 Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

112 Me Against The Music

113 I Follow Rivers

114 Mean

115 Here's To Us

116 Stronger

117 Summer Nights

118 Make No Mistake, She's Mine

119 Love Song

120 Waiting For A Girl Like You

121 We Got The Beat

122 We Found Love

123 We've Got Tonite

124 Love Shack

125 The Scientist

126 Love Is A Battlefield

127 Run Joey Run

128 Wings

129 When I Get You Alone

130 Uptown Girl

131 Roots Before Branches

132 I'm The Only One

132 I've Gotta Be Me

134 Hopelessly Devoted To You

135 Hit Me With Your Best Shot / One Way Or Another

136 Dinosaur

137 Dog Days Are Over

138 Hung Up

139 Everytime

140 Go Your Own Way

141 Every Breath You Take

142 Fire And Rain

143 Fighter

144 Not While I'm Around

145 Not The Boy Next Door

146 Fly / I Believe I Can Fly

147 Girl On Fire

148 Oops!... I Did It Again

149 Stop! In The Name Of Love / Free Your Mind

150 Stereo Hearts

151 Bills, Bills, Bills

152 Somebody Loves You

153 Hold It Against Me

154 Turning Tables

155 Wide Awake

156 You May Be Right

157 Cell Block Tango

158 A Boy Like That

159 All Out Of Love

160 Alfie

161 Jessie's Girl

162 I'm A Slave 4 U

163 I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

164 I'll Stand By You (Amber)

165 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

166 Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself)

167 Lovefool

168 Just Can't Get Enough

169 Just Give Me A Reason

170 Keep Holding On

171 Like A Virgin

172 New York State Of Mind

173 My Dark Side

174 More Than A Feeling

174 My Cup

176 I Want To Hold Your Hand

177 I Want To Break Free

178 I Want To Know What Love Is

179 I Want You Back

180 Teenage Dream

181 Take My Breath Away

182 America

183 Glory Days

184 I Say A Little Prayer

184 I Wanna Sex You Up

186 I Will Always Love You

187 A Thousand Years

188 Like A Prayer

189 Don't Rain On My Parade

190 Disco Inferno

191 Don't Stop Believin' (Regionals)

192 Dream On

193 Get It Right

194 Gold Digger

195 Telephone

196 Without You

197 You're The One That I Want

198 Tell Him

199 Let Me Love You

200 Good Vibrations

200 Raise Your Glass

202 Run The World (Girls)

203 Gimme More

204 Hey Jude

204 How Deep Is Your Love

206 Higher Ground

207 Vogue

208 Something's Coming

209 Footloose

210 Forget You

211 Gives You Hell

212 Everybody Wants To Rule The World

213 Far From Over

214 Fat Bottomed Girls

215 Hair / Crazy In Love

216 Hall Of Fame

216 Hello

216 Hello, I Love You

216 Somebody To Love

216 Time Warp

216 To Love You More

222 Last Friday Night

223 Hate On Me

224 Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'

225 Locked Out Of Heaven

226 Rose's Turn

227 Everybody Hurts

227 Express Yourself

227 Loser

227 Shout It Out Loud

231 Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours

232 Pompeii

233 Party All The Time

234 Our Day Will Come

235 Perfect

236 Old Time Rock & Roll / Danger Zone

237 Greased Lightning

237 Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

237 Live While We're Young

240 Firework

240 Love Child

242 Fire

243 You're All I Need To Get By

244 The Scientist (Acapella)

245 Afternoon Delight

246 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)

247 Listen To Your Heart

248 Tik Tok

249 You Keep Me Hangin' On

250 The Rose

251 You Can't Always Get What You

Want

252 Let's Have A Kiki

252 Listen

254 Pretending

255 More Than A Woman

256 More Than Words

257 Hot For Teacher

257 No One Is Alone

257 Not The End

257 Nowadays / Hot Honey Rag 257 O Christmas Tree

257 One Hand, One Heart

257 One

257 Only Child

257 Proud Mary

266 Heroes

267 Hey Ya!

268 Getting Married Today

268 Happy

270 Hell To The No

271 Night Fever

271 Sgt. Pepper's Lonley Hearts Club

Band

273 The Music Of The Night

273 The Only Exception 273 The Rain In Spain 273 The Safety Dance 273 Thousand Miles 278 Billionaire

278 God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 278 The Happening

278 The Lady Is A Tramp

282 Borderline / Open Your Heart 282 Born To Hand Jive

284 Control

284 The Longest Time

286 Give Up The Funk

287 Chasing Pavements

288 Man In The Mirror

288 Say

288 Sexy And I Know It 288 Shout

292 Marry The Night

293 Mamma Mia

294 Loser Like Me

295 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 1)

296 Colorblind

297 Diva

297 Don't Cry For Me Argentina

299 Don't Dream It's Over

300 Let It Be

301 Don't Stop

302 Highway To Hell

302 Hold On

302 Holding Out For A Hero 302 We Will Rock You

302 What I Did For Love

302 What It Feels Like For A Girl

308 Take On Me

309 For Once In My Life

309 Good Riddance (Time Of Your

Life)

309 Hello Goodbye

309 Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love

309 Home

309 Homeward Bound / Home 309 Honesty

309 Human Nature

317 Drive My Car

317 For Good

317 I'll Remember

320 I'll Stand By You (Cory)

321 On My Own

321 Taking Chances

321 The Bitch Is Back / Dress You Up 321 Werewolves Of London

325 My Man

326 My Life

327 My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)

327 Never Going Back Again 327 No Scrubs

330 Creep

331 Come What May

332 Never Can Say Goodbye

333 Who Are You Now?

334 You Give Love A Bad Name

335 Womanizer

336 Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

337 Come See About Me

337 P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) 337 People

337 Popular

337 River

337 Roar

337 Rolling In The Deep 337 Santa Baby

345 Boogie Shoes

346 At Last

347 I'm The Greatest Star

348 Jar Of Hearts

349 It's Time

350 It's My Life / Confessions Part II

351 It's Not Unusual

352 I'm So Excited

352 I'm Still Here

354 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 5) 354 Don't You (Forget About Me) 354 Dreams

354 Unchained Melody

354 Uptown Funk

359 Bohemian Rhapsody

359 Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel) 359 Lucky

362 Don't Stand So Close To Me /

Young Girl

363 Bridge Over Troubled Water

363 Bust A Move

365 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee

366 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee

(Reprise)

367 Longest Time

368 Applause

369 All Of Me

370 Any Way You Want It

370 Anything Could Happen

372 Red Solo Cup

372 Rock Lobster

372 Rockin' Around The Christmas

Tree 372 Rockstar

376 Saving All My Love For You

377 (I've Had) The Time Of My Life

377 Piano Man 377 Poison 377 Poker Face

381 A House Is Not A Home

382 4 Minutes

383 Black Or White

384 Blackbird

385 All By Myself

385 Smile

385 You Make Me Feel So Young

388 Wrecking Ball

389 (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural

Woman

389 (You're) Having My Baby

391 Superman

392 Ain't No Way

392 Stayin' Alive

394 Still Got Tonight

394 The Most Wonderful Day Of The

Year

394 The Way You Look Tonight / You're Never Fully Dressed Without A

Smile 394 This Time

394 Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?

399 They Long To Be Close To You

400 All About That Bass 400 Sing!

400 So Far Away

400 Some People

404 Addicted To Love

404 Moves Like Jagger / Jumpin' Jack Flash

404 Sing

404 Someday We'll Be Together 404 Somethin' Stupid

404 Something

404 Somewhere

404 Stand

412 Scream

413 Rather Be

414 Next To Me

414 No Air

414 Papa Can You Hear Me? 414 Physical

414 Piece Of My Heart

414 Pinball Wizard

414 Pony

414 Rehab

422 La Isla Bonita

422 Lean On Me

422 Let's Wait Awhile

422 Little Drummer Boy

422 Little Girls

427 Light Up The World

428 Science Fiction Double Feature

428 Silent Night 428 Silly Love Songs

431 Le Jazz Hot

432 Out Here On My Own

432 Pure Imagination

434 School's Out

435 Hey, Soul Sister

435 I Kissed A Girl (Season Six) 435 Sway

438 I Believe In A Thing Called Love

439 I Have Nothing

440 I Am Changing

441 I Saw Her Standing There

441 I Was Here

441 I Won't Give Up

441 I'll Be Home For Christmas 441 I'll Never Fall In Love Again 446 Funny Girl

446 I Look To You

446 I Only Have Eyes For You 446 I Still Believe / Super Bass 446 Story Of My Life

451 I Love New York / New York, New

York

452 What Makes You Beautiful

453 What The World Needs Now

454 An Innocent Man

454 Bad

454 Because You Loved Me

454 Bein' Green

454 ByeByeBye/IWantItThatWay 454 IfIWereABoy

454 Take A Bow

454 Take Me Home Tonight

462 Barracuda

463 Beauty School Drop Out

464 Chandelier

465 Baby It's You

466 It Must Have Been Love

467 At The Ballet

468 Baby One More Time

469 Beautiful

469 Being Alive

469 We Built This City

472 Being Good Isn't Good Enough 472 I Just Can't Stop Loving You 472 I Love It

472 Isn't She Lovely

476 All That Jazz

476 Blurred Lines

476 Bootylicious

476 Extraordinary Merry Christmas 476 Father Figure

476 Fight For Your Right (To Party)

476 Flashdance... What A Feeling

483 I Don't Know How To Love Him

484 Fix You

484 I Could Have Danced All Night 486 Push It

486 Rainbow Connection 486 Rise

489 Promises, Promises

490 Oh Chanukah

490 Ohio

490 One Love (People Get Ready) 490 Only The Good Die Young 494 Baby

494 Dancing With Myself

494 Defying Gravity

497 Baby, It's Cold Outside

498 Cherish / Cherish

498 Christmas Wrapping 498 Closer

498 Downtown

498 Endless Love

498 Forever Young

498 Friday I'm In Love 498 Friday

498 Gangnam Style

498 Get Back

498 Safety Dance

509 Cold Hearted

510 Clarity

511 Centerfold / Hot In Herre

511 Just The Way You Are 513 Jumpin', Jumpin'

513 Kiss

515 Juke Box Hero

515 L-O-V-E

517 Jolene

518 Jump

518 La Cucaracha

520 Dream A Little Dream

521 A Little Less Conversation

521 Beth

521 Bitch

521 Don't Sleep In The Subway 521 Girls Just Want To Have Fun 521 Have Yourself A Merry Little

Christmas 521 Help!

521 I Dreamed A Dream 521 I'm His Child

521 I'm Still Standing 521 Ice Ice Baby

521 Imagine

521 In My Life

521 It's A Man's Man's Man's World 521 Lose My Breath

521 Memory

521 Outcast

521 Over The Rainbow

521 Same Love

521 Santa Claus Is Coming To Town 521 Teach Your Children

521 Tell Me Something Good

521 The Final Countdown

521 Uptight (Everything's Alright) 545 Big Ass Heart

545 I Love L.A.

545 I Melt With You

548 Big Girls Don't Cry

548 Mary's Boy Child

548 O Holy Night

548 On Our Way

548 One Bourbon, One Scotch, One

Beer

548 One Less Bell To Answer

554 Maybe This Time 554 My Favourite Things 554 My Sharona

557 Marry You

558 Cool

559 Cool Kids

560 Celebrity Skin

560 Cheek To Cheek

560 Dance The Night Away

560 Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend / Material Girl

560 Don't Go Breaking My Heart 560 Don't Wanna Lose You

560 Feliz Navidad

560 Here Comes Santa Claus 560 I Know What Boys Like

560 I Know Where I've Been 560 Trouty Mouth

571 Total Eclipse Of The Heart

572 Don't Make Me Over

573 Call Me Maybe

574 We Are The Champions

575 Time After Time

576 Bring Him Home

576 Broadway Baby 576 Buenos Aires 576 Burning Up 576 Yesterday

581 Boys / Boyfriend

582 Mercy

582 You Get What You Give

582 You Have More Friends Than You

Know

582 You Learn / You've Got A Friend

582 You Should Be Dancing

582 You're All The World To Me 582 You're My Best Friend

582 You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' 590 Break Free

590 Jingle Bell Rock 590 Jingle Bells

590 Joy To The World 590 One Of Us

590 Tonight

590 You're The Top

590 You've Got To Hide Your Love

Away

590 Your Song

599 To Sir, With Love

600 Torn

601 Wake Me Up

601 Wannabe

601 Wedding Bell Blues

604 Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me

604 UpUpUp

606 All Or Nothing

606 Alone

606 Cry

606 Leaving On A Jet Plane

606 Let It Go

606 Mickey

606 Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) 606 Mr. Roboto / Counting Stars 606 Try A Little Tenderness

606 U Can't Touch This

606 Uninvited

606 Vacation

606 Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' 606 What Kind Of Fool

606 Whistle

606 Will You Love Me Tomorrow /

Head Over Feet 606 Wishin' And Hoping

606 YouAndI/YouAndI

624 Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

624 Do You Hear What I Hear? 624 Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh

Yeah)

624 Lucky Star

624 Merry Christmas Darling 629 Damn It, Janet

629 Danny's Song

629 Daydream Believer

629 Deck The Rooftop

629 Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead 634 All I Want For Christmas Is You 634 Angels We Have Heard On High 634 Anything Goes / Anything You Can

634 As If We Never Said Goodbye

634 As Long As You're There 634 Bamboleo / Hero

634 Bella Notte

634 Copacabana

634 Do They Know It's Christmas? 634 Last Christmas

634 Let It Snow

634 We Need A Little Christmas

634 Welcome Christmas

634 Whenever I Call You Friend

634 Whip It

634 You Are The Sunshine Of My Life

650 All You Need Is Love

651 Americano / Dance Again

652 Crush

653 Big Spender

653 Make 'Em Laugh

653 White Christmas

653 Yeah!

657 (Charlie Chaplin song)

657 (originally by Michael Bublé) 657 Away In A Manger

657 Baby Got Back

657 Christmas Eve With You 657 Come Sail Away

657 You Are Woman, I Am Man 657 You Spin Me Round (Like A

Record)

665 You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

666 Starlight Express

666 The Trolley Song

666 The Winner Takes It All

666 There's A Light (Over At The

Frankenstein Place) 670 Take Care Of Yourself

671 Sweet Caroline

672 Ben

672 Best Day Of My Life 672 Blue Christmas

672 Candles

676 Starships

676 Suddenly Seymour 676 Sweet Transvestite

679 Thong Song

680 The Fox (What Does The Fox

Say?)

680 The Living Years

682 The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)

682 The First Noël

#once again i am telling all of you to not do it #ANYWAYS!#glee song ranking

7 notes · View notes

ourimpavidheroine · 4 years ago

Note

You always post your writing soundtracks. Mind sharing your top ten albums with us?

I actually laughed when I read this because I’m thinking of the Anon who complained that all of my music was OLD. I mean. I’m old! What did you expect?

Never mind me, I’m easily amused. Thank you for using the word album so I would not feel like Lady Danbury with my lethal cane.

Yes, sure I can do that! I don’t know that these are my forever and ever amen top ten, but they are the ones that are coming to mind right now. So.

Under a cut, it’s long.

In no particular order.

Brutal Youth - Elvis Costello

My ex-husband was in love with Elvis Costello and who could blame him? The man is a genius lyricist. This is not one of his more commercially popular albums but I love every single track. (I also lined up at Ticketmaster in Oakland, CA when the man was touring in order to get tickets for my ex. I got there at midnight and spent the night, meeting a group of drag queens who were getting tickets to see Barbara Streisand. God, that was a fun night, we ate donuts one of them went on a donut run for and sang showtunes for hours. One of my favorite memories.) This verse, from Clown Strike, is one that has resonated with me since I first heard it.

Tell me what you want of me Or are you terrified of failure? You put on a superstitious face Behind all this paraphernalia We're not living in a masquerade Where you only have three wishes It isn't easy to see In a lifetime of mistaken kisses

Unrepentant Geraldines - Tori Amos

I remember the first time I heard a Tori Amos song. It was the summer directly after I’d graduated from college, I was driving my ex-husband’s car and Silent All These Years came on the radio and I was just fucking gobsmacked. I bought Little Earthquakes that day and haven’t looked back. I have all her albums. I am a big, big fan.

Unrepentant Geraldines, though. God. It came out the year before my wife died and it got me through her death. The song Weatherman is about a man losing his wife, and how he sees her in the nature surrounding him.

And.

No, sorry, I can’t write more about this, not right now. But I sing it to her sometimes.

He is not a weatherman But his bride lies with the land And she will whisper to him I'll be dressing up in snow Cloaked in echo it's almost As if only Nature knows How to paint his wife to life With every season's tone "One more look from her eyes One more look can you paint her back to life"

Ray of Light - Madonna

This album got me through my divorce from my ex-husband. I’d go out every single day during my lunch hour, this on my walkman, and walk and walk and walk until I got myself in enough control to go back and finish my work day. It’s a great album and I still listen to it a lot. It empowers me. And then my daughter was born and Ray of Light has always been her song to me, even though that wasn’t the song on the album that Madonna herself wrote for her daughter.

Faster than the speeding light she's flying Trying to remember where it all began She's got herself a little piece of heaven Waiting for the time when Earth shall be as one And I feel like I just got home And I feel And I feel like I just got home And I feel

Seven and the Ragged Tiger - Duran Duran

This one was a difficult choice. For one thing, I really love their album Big Thing, which almost nobody’s heard about but one I love deeply. This one though...I think it’s the memories, including going to see them at the Oakland Coliseum with my cousin during their tour for this album and finding out they were partially filming the video for The Reflex that night. I like to think of us as being one of those girls in the audience. (Although I wasn’t screaming. I am a Capricorn. Have some dignity.) Duran Duran were responsible for my first fanfic and I’ve had a love for them since my Dad bought me their first album for my 13th birthday. I am nothing if not loyal. I have all of their early albums, all of their 12″ singles, too, including Secret Oktober, which I have always loved with a passion.

Also, Roger Taylor can still get it.

Freefall on a windy morning shore nothing but a fading track of footsteps Could prove that you never been there Spoken on a cotton cloud like the sound of gunshot taken by the wind And lost in distant thunder racing on a shining plain And tomorrow you'll be content to watch as the lightning plays along the wires and you'll wonder

Touch - Eurythmics

Another band I still love and listen to on the regular. Annie Lennox could sing me the telephone book and I’d be thrilled. Seeing her at age 14 in the Sweet Dreams video for the first time in my Grandmother’s living room quite literally woke something in me that led to moving across the world for a woman years later. (GOD.) I have all of their albums and choosing a favorite is difficult but this one won by a narrow margin, if only for the song Regrets, which is one of the songs that describes me until I became a mother, really. Like I RESONATED with that song. Still does in certain ways, if I am being truthful to myself.

I've got a delicate mind I've got a dangerous nature And my fist collides With your furniture I've got a delicate mind I've got a dangerous nature And my fist collides With your furniture I'm an electric wire And I'm stuck inside your head

Combat Rock - The Clash

Ah, teenage Impavid first understanding that music can also be political. Listen, I didn’t know much about what was going on outside of my own miniscule sphere - I was young and the internet didn’t exist yet. We got what news we got from our local paper and TV stations and they weren’t really reporting on what was happening in the world, not in 1982, let me fucking assure you. I got this album because my Dad was a part time DJ at a radio station that played mostly country music and the general manager of the station would just toss the rest of the non-country albums they’d get as promotions. My Dad would bring them home to me to listen to. You can imagine thirteen year old me listening to this album that opened with “This is a public service announcement - with guitars!” going WHAT THE FUCK? Let me just say there were a lot of trips to the library to read various newspapers after that.

Not to mention Rock the Casbah. What was a muezzin? I had no idea. I spent half a year reading books about Islam, about the Middle East and Northern Africa, which led to a curiosity about other religions beyond the Roman Catholicism in which I’d been raised, about other cultures as well. This album and The Color Purple by Alice Walker were the two things in my teen years that woke me the fuck up.

Now the king told the boogie men You have to let that raga drop The oil down the desert way Has been shakin' to the top The sheik he drove his Cadillac He went a' cruisin' down the ville The muezzin was a' standing On the radiator grille

Synchronicity - The Police

This fucking album. This fucking album. This album reached deep down into me and pulled out my soul and kicked it around for awhile. Every single song on this album hit me like a brick wall. Still does. Most likely always will.

Listen, you either like King of Pain or you live it. There’s no in between.

There's a little black spot on the sun today It's the same old thing as yesterday There's a black hat caught in a high tree top There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop I have stood here before inside the pouring rain With the world turning circles running 'round my brain. I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign, But it's my destiny to be the king of pain...

Sign O’ The Times - Prince

The soundtrack to my University days. Jesus, it starts out with “In France a skinny man died of a big disease with a little name,” and it just keeps going. Pain, sex, wonder, glory, politics, love. It’s all there. I wore the vinyl out on this one. Amazing, amazing album. In fact, I still play it so often my kids practically know it by heart, and they don’t even like Prince!

To this day I think If I Was Your Girlfriend is the sexiest song ever written.

I will tell you this much: Sayuri’s main writing soundtrack song is Starfish and Coffee off the album, the same song I used to sing my kids as a lullaby. This should tell you a lot about her.

Cynthia wore the prettiest dress With different color socks Sometimes I wondered if the mates where in her lunchbox Me and Lucy opened it when Cynthia wasn't around Lucy cried, I almost died, U know what we found? Starfish and coffee Maple syrup and jam Butterscotch clouds, a tangerine And a side order of ham If U set your mind free, honey Maybe you'd understand Starfish and coffee Maple syrup and jam

Nina Simone Sings The Blues - Nina Simone

This was one of my Daddy’s albums. He loved it and so did I. As a child I just loved the sound of her voice - something in it both soothed me and pulled at me, made me want to run and just keep running. She still makes me feel like that. If you don’t know Nina Simone I urge you to change that, right now. There’s nobody at all like her. She’s irreplaceable. All of her material is good, not just her blues songs. Not to mention, she was an absolute brilliant genius at the piano, never mind the strength she had as a Black woman in a time when doors were shut in her face on a daily basis. Seriously. Read about her.

When I became a woman, of course, her songs took on a much deeper meaning for me, one that I could relate to. Isn’t that the hallmark of a good album, though? One that stays with you and changes with you? I think so.

If you’ve never heard her cover of I Put A Spell On You then do yourself a favor and go right now and listen. You’re welcome.

Oh and Buck from this album? Nuo to Wing, right there.

Also one of the sexiest songs ever written, this one. Especially how she sings it. The Hot Frenchman (have I ever told you about The Hot Frenchman? no? OH BOY THERE’S A STORY) told me he thought it was about drugs and I was like, honey, this tells me a whole lot about you, more than you probably wanted it to.

I want a little sugar In my bowl I want a little sweetness Down in my soul I could stand some lovin' Oh so bad I feel so funny and I feel so sad I want a little steam On my clothes Maybe I can fix things up So they'll go Whatsa matter Daddy Come on, save my soul I need some sugar in my bowl I ain't foolin' I want some sugar in my bowl

I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got - Sinéad O’Connor

This is a beautiful album, full of pain and joy, her hallmark. She sings every single word with everything in her; she’s far too intense for many, many people (and while she’s been open with her mental health struggles I’ve often wondered if she isn’t somewhere on the spectrum as well) but never for me. Her raw honesty has always appealed to me. She’s political, she’s a lover, a mother, a survivor of horrific abuse, someone who keeps reinventing herself as a way to find her way through pain. I always feel, when I am listening to her music, that I am bearing witness. I’m not afraid of pain; I’ve survived it as well. This album, one of her oldest, is still my favorite.

The line “You used to hold my hand when the plane took off” is the most evocative lyric I have ever heard with regards to the ending of love. It’s a punch to the heart - she felt it and she shared it with us, her fragile heart in her palms. Oh, Sinéad.

This is the last day of our acquaintance I will meet you later in somebody's office I'll talk but you won't listen to me I know what your answer will be I know you don't love me anymore You used to hold my hand when the plane took off Two years ago there just seemed so much more And I don't know what happened to our love

#personal #favorite albums #long post #Anonymous

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years ago

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I feel like I need to talk about this...

I’m very open about being aroace. At least here on Tumblr I am. (Outside of Tumblr, I am technically out, but some issues with my mother and grandmother have forced me back into the closet. I felt miserable about that initially, but I’m learning to be fine with it.) But it wasn’t always this way. In fact, I didn’t even know what aroace meant until I was 18. So how was I supposed to know when I got my first ‘celebrity crush’ that those last words do not, in fact, describe very accurately what I was experiencing? I didn’t know I had ADHD, either. I feel like that might have helped me realise some things about my experience. But let me go back a bit and actually tell you what happened and how it happened. [side note: I’ll be starting from a bit earlier than the ‘crush’ thing happened because I feel like it’s important for whoever reads this to understand how my circumstances shaped the experience I had]

Backstory:

I had always been different from my peers, so it was not surprising to anyone that I was bullied in middle school. [side note: Judging from my and my little brother’s combined experience, I feel like bullying is, quite unfortunately, something of a universal experience in middle school - in my day, I was on the receiving end. This last school year, my brother was the bully. Gosh, I wish I could tell my story without many deviations and without crying as I type, but I’ve already thrown both of those intentions out the window.]

So anyway, things got so bad that I was driven to suicidal thoughts. One night I was just lying in bed, thinking about going through with it, but I was like, well, I’ve got a test in the morning. Maybe after that. 13-year-old me had very weird priorities. I kind of still value my work over my mental health, but I’m working on it. So that night, I didn’t do anything. The next day, right before school, I was on the internet and I found out a new show had premiered. And then, as I was watching the pilot episode, that was when it happened. I saw this boy, whom I will not be naming, and I listened to him sing. I felt nothing much at the moment, but I couldn’t get the song out of my mind all day. Up until that moment, I had had a weird attitude towards music where I’d only listen to female singers. My ‘boys have cooties’ phase, I guess you could say. But this one, he was the first one I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I felt like I could listen to his voice 24/7. I’ve had that feeling hundreds of times by now, but I hadn’t before then. So I figured, this must be what a crush means, right? This must be what all my peers are talking about. The next day, I confided in a girl from my class with whom I was kind of friendly (though not actual friends, I’d say). I asked her if she’d seen the show, if she knew this person. She said yes and we kind of gushed about the song together, and I felt normal for a couple of minutes. I never knew the difference between my experience and what is considered ‘normal’ until years later.

For the time being, the thought of this special person was what was keeping me alive. I started having visions of him walking with me through the school hallways or sitting next to me on the bus home from school. I knew perfectly well those visions weren’t real, but they made me feel better. Happy. Safe. Seen. Full disclosure: I still have such visions, I’ve had them with different people through the years as my hyperfixations change. My latest one is what has enabled me to deal with some of my worst phobias (and I have a long list of them). I’ve never told anybody what it is, and I won’t be telling because I feel like if I do tell, the vision will not be strong enough to work against my fears. But I’m getting sidetracked again. Sorry for that.

So, I was pretty much obsessed with this guy. He was all I could think about, he was keeping me alive through what was possibly the toughest time in my life to date. So naturally, thanks to my heteronormative, amatonormative surroundings, I was convinced I had a crush on him. In fact, after this experience had lasted about a year, I was sure I was in love.

Then things changed. I started high school. I found a couple of friends, and the people in my class in general made me feel like I could finally be myself. Be open about what I thought and how I felt. So by the end of the first semester, all 27 people in my class knew about my feelings for this guy. What I didn’t know was that they didn’t know that it wasn’t exactly like I was describing it. Because I wasn’t aware that a straight/ allo person’s idea of being ‘in love’ was different from mine. I was just putting things in words I thought I understood.

So it came as a total surprise when some people from my class started teasing me about it. It wasn’t malicious teasing, that much I could tell. I had been bullied mercilessly before. What my new classmates were doing was asking genuine questions in a slightly teasing manner. For example, it would be known that my special person had a girlfriend, and so they’d ask me ‘aren’t you jealous’ or ‘do you wish you were that’, or stuff like that. And those questions felt so weird. So stupid. I thought, wait, why would I be jealous? Why would I feel bad about this person who has made me so happy, being happy himself? Why would I want to date him? That had nothing to do with how I felt. I told my classmates so. They gave me weird looks in response. So I started feeling like there was something wrong with me. Like I wasn’t doing that ‘in love’ thing right. Suddenly, I felt like my feelings were being intruded upon. Tarnished, somehow. I had always been aware that my visions were anything but real. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. And all of a sudden, somebody was suggesting that I should want to date this person. Why would I want to date anyone, I thought? Even if it was him. Dating people was awkward. Making physical contact with anyone outside my immediate family made me shudder. It still does, though I can hug some of my closest friends without any negative feelings. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Back to my first time I questioned my experience. I was about 14 at the time (in Bulgaria, high school starts from grade 8, ages 13-14 or 14-15), and, well, I didn’t do much questioning at the time. I just told myself that they didn’t understand my feelings, and I stopped being so open about the topic.

My hyperfixation on this person lasted long. Longer than any other I’ve ever had to date. Maybe it was because I clung to it like it was what tethered me to my mortal life. But by my final year of high school, I could feel it fading away. I was forcing myself to think about this person, to conjure up the old visions; the song that had started it all was drained of all meaning that it had held for me. I was moving on to other hyperfixations. I felt like I was betraying myself, like I was breaking some sort of unbreakable vow. It was time to face the music. So I let go. I allowed myself to move on. It was kind of made easier by the fact that my special person had changed, too, and had moved on to projects that I could not enjoy due to some triggering content. And I moved on.

Then I joined Tumblr. I discovered some things. Among them was Hellenic polytheism. It had been a while since I’d found my faith in the Hellenic pantheon, but Tumblr was where I found out I was not alone, that there was an existent religion. And step by step, I realised that... I had been projecting Apollo’s presence onto my special person. And my old connection to that person had started fading away when I had realised I believed in the gods.

This explained a lot of things. But there was still the fact that I had never been able to look at another person the way my peers were looking at each other. I had been asked out two or three times during high school. I had rejected those people without even thinking about it. My best friend at the time was a boy and most teachers seemed to ship us together because, well, let’s be real - we were constantly fighting like an old married couple. It took him getting a girlfriend and seeing how happy I was for the two of them for everyone to realise that things between us were, and had always been, purely platonic. And now I was going to uni and I had never had feelings I was apparently supposed to have.

It was also thanks to Tumblr that I discovered the extent of the LGBTQ+ community. I considered myself an ally at first, and I was a passionate ally, too. I still am nothing but supportive to my fellow LGBTQ+ people of all identities, but it was not until I was 18 going on 19 that I discovered the term ‘asexual’. I knew quite suddenly that this was the term for me. I knew what I was and how I felt. I felt mature enough to know the difference between ‘I’m not experienced enough to know for sure’ and ‘I’ve just never had those feelings, I don’t even know what they’re supposed to be like’. It took a bit longer to find out there was a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, but by the time I was 19, I had proudly labelled myself ‘aroace’. I still feel at home with this label. I am completely open to the possibility that it might change with time, but this is what feels right at this time.

Fast-forward another couple of years to about 8 months ago. I had always known that I got really invested into stuff - shows, books, hobbies, people - only for that investment to wear off after a time. The timespans varied, but I realised I had experienced this ever since I was in pre-school at least. I didn’t have a term for it, though. And then, all of a sudden, Tumblr started offering me posts tagged ADHD. I could relate to maybe 95% of them. At one point, it felt like whatever algorithm this hellsite operates on was shoving the ADHD posts in my face, as if screaming ‘DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF, WELL, YOU?!!!’ in my ears. So I did some tests. I did a lot of self-reflection. I went to a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed in March. I started educating myself on the terminology and found out that what I was experiencing is called hyperfixating. So here I am now.

Here I am now, reflecting back on my experience from 8 years ago, connecting the dots. Realising what it was that I went through, allowing myself to go through it again, with different things and people. I don’t feel the need to cling to hyperfixations anymore because I know that is what they are and I know I can’t keep them forever. Of course, I do feel bad about stopping caring about something that used to be my light and life for a time. I dread the time I’ll get over my current hyperfixation, but I also know it’s inevitable. My ADHD brain needs the change and it happens naturally. And somehow I’m ok with that.

Well, this is it. This is the story of how Tumblr prompted me to discover aspects of myself that have been there for as long as I can remember. What better place to talk about it than Tumblr itself? What better group of people to understand and accept me than my lovely mutuals and followers? If you’re reading this, thank you. For being here, for listening to me, for allowing me to be who I am. You’ve got no idea how happy this makes me, even though I can barely see what I’m typing through the tears. Thank you.

#personal #jnk #asexual #aromantic #aro #ace #aroace #adhd #hellenic polytheism #tw: suicide #tw: bullying

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dragonnan · 4 years ago

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This is faaaar from a complete list and will be spotty at best but I’ve been pondering MCU characters a lot as I’ve been getting slowly back to work on my mega-fic. I LOVE minor head canons. Simple stuff like favorite foods or what music they listen to or were they ever a smoker or whatever whatever. So I’m gonna give myself the challenge of crafting some head canon and anyone else is very welcome to dive in! (some things are already established via canon)

~ Ethnicity ~ Faith ~ Smoker ~ Alcohol ~ Favorite food ~ Favorite cookie ~ Favorite animal(s) ~ Favorite music ~

Tony Stark: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American-Jewish (he refers to himself as a “mutt”) Faith: “No thanks” being the initial answer but if he feels like opening up he’ll admit to believing there’s likely “something” out there but at the same time figures that “something” stopped caring about humanity a long long time ago. Smoker? Never liked cigarettes but smoked a few cigars when he was younger due to Obie’s influence. He never was a big fan but wanted to fit in with his mentor. Alcohol: Influenced both by his father and Obie, Tony started drinking hard liquor semi-regularly as young as 14 (his Dad let him try his first sip at the age of 6). He pretty much sticks with Scotch or Bourbon but is not opposed to cheap beer at a ball game. In fact the cheaper the better - a requirement for any self-respecting American. Favorite food: hot dogs. Neither one of his parents cooked. Breakfast and lunch were whatever whenever for all three of them but dinner? You better be sure you were at that table before the plates were set down or you could go without (and Tony got a slap from his father when he’d observed that rule only seemed to apply to him). But on the nights he was sent to his room, Jarvis would slip upstairs, later, with a sandwich or, on really rough nights, a couple of hotdogs. Favorite cookie: Those Christmas wreath ones made with cereal and marshmallow with the cinnamon candies. Favorite animal(s): he likes all animals but if he had to pick one for a pet he’d get an iguana. Favorite music: well duh lolol.

Stephen Strange: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American (borrowed from Benedict Cumberbatch’s ethnicity and adding the American) Faith: Originally atheist but now closer to Buddhist. Smoker: Never. Even prior to becoming a sorcerer he has always been conscious of what he takes into his body; especially given the history of cancer on his mother’s side of the family. Alcohol: Wine, occasionally, though he isn’t really a social drinker per-say. Favorite food: The spicy shrimp and pork dumplings from a Thai place in Midtown. Favorite cookie: Hmmm.... not a big sweets guy but he won’t turn away a few ginger-pecan cookies with coffee. Favorite animal(s): dogs - unequivocally. He had a border collie growing up on his family farm in Nebraska. Favorite music: please don’t make this poor man actually have to choose.

Steve Rogers: Ethnicity: Irish (as per comics) Faith? Irish-Catholic (as per the comics). Smoker? Prior to the serum there was no way he could safely do so with his health issues. After he started traveling with the performers all of the girls in the group smoked and he tried it out a few times but never developed a taste for it. Alcohol: he drank A LOT - easy enough to do as it never had any real effect on him. He enjoys scotch and bourbon (a taste he picked up from hanging around Howard Stark). Steve seems to low-key always have the munchies (like most enhanced) and once Tony picked up on that there are always a variety of snacks scattered here and there throughout the compound (also of benefit for Bruce, Peter, Thor, and, later, Bucky). Steve’s favorite foods typically remind him of his mother’s cooking. While they’d never had much (especially after his father died) his mom could do a lot with limited supplies. She used to make a fantastic meat pie with ground beef or tongue. He hates SPAM. They ate it in the Army, constantly, and just the smell will occasionally send him back to those days and not in a good way. Favorite cookie? Oreos. He can clean up a family sized pack in like 10 minutes. Steve loves animals but is especially fond of horses and dogs. There was a dog in his unit in WW2 and Steve, like most of the other men, would share bites of his rations with it. Steve is nostalgic about music from the 40s but finds that 70s rock really resonates with him.

Bucky Barnes: Ethnicity: Romanian-American (borrowing a little from Sebastian Stan’s ethnicity) Faith? Possibly agnostic. Smoker? Heck yes - both cigarettes and cigars. Like Steve, the serum he received (via Hydra’s experimentation) means he gets to dodge the detrimental side effects of smoking. Alcohol: He likes to drink but is almost exclusively a beer drinker. He has a big appetite but refuses to eat around others if he can at all help it. His favorite food is corned beef with cabbage. Steve’s grandmother was an Irish immigrant and would make it every Sunday before the war impacted rations. Since both Bucky’s parents were dead he’d often have dinner with his best friend. Also, unlike Steve, he actually likes SPAM. But then, arguably, he isn’t terribly picky about food in general. Favorite cookie: molasses. Favorite animal(s): birds - eagles in particular - though he doesn’t look too deeply at the psychology of their ability to just fly away. Needless to say a crafty observer might spot a former Winter Soldier tossing seeds towards the pigeons. Favorite music: He’s pretty eclectic though he shies away from anything too loud like death metal. He finds classical very soothing.

Peter Parker: Ethnicity: Mixed American-Scandinavian-German-ish Faith: Protestant upbringing but unsure where he currently stands. If pressed he’d say he’s “leaving his options open” Smoker? “Oh gross!” Alcohol: “Um, too young to drink, thanks! But if I WERE to... you know, try it just to taste it there was this mudslide at one of Flash’s parties that was super good...” Favorite food: spaghetti and meatballs. Lots of meatballs. Favorite cookie: chocolate chocolate chip with chunks. Favorite animal(s): NOT spiders. And NOT birds given how many rooftops he’s traversed layered in pigeon ick. He’d probably say cats. Favorite music: The B side of techno rock - especially Depeche Mode.

Peter Quill: Ethnicity: Half mixed American and half celestial. Faith: His Dad was a god and he killed him so he figures he probably isn’t on the best terms with the Big G God should He... or She... or Them... be out there. Look he just wants to do his thing and cause a little trouble without mixing it up with any other celestial types but if they DO wanna throw down he’d like to point out that he’s 1 for 1 and willing to rumble. Smoker: He would not say no to a really good cigar and may have possibly lifted a case from Yondu’s stash when he struck out on his own. Alcohol: Anywhere any time and in large quantities. Favorite food: A thick steakhouse bacon burger with potato chips right on the patty. Extra cheese please! Favorite cookie: He’s a simple guy with simple tastes. classic chocolate chip no frills no fuss and fresh from the oven. Favorite animal(s): He likes dogs - who doesn’t like dogs? But he really likes cows. Just maybe don’t mention the burger thing. Favorite music:

Thor: He’s a Norse god of legend so I figure we can forego the ethnicity/faith questions lol. Smoker: He has never understood this human custom nor has he felt any inclination to try it himself Alcohol: Beer, mead, and anything capable of knocking him on his ass. Favorite food: chili with ghost peppers. Though nowhere near as hot as the fire chilies of Muspelheim (which would be instantly fatal for humans so its just as well). Favorite cookie: strawberry cheesecake with macadamia nuts. Favorite animal(s): It’s a tossup between bilgesnipe and whales. Favorite music: The mighty horns of battle! He also enjoys old school country, much to Tony’s disgust. The story aspect of that music is what appeals to him.

Bruce Banner: Ethnicity: Italian-American Faith: Catholic in his childhood; currently Atheist or maybe agnostic. Smoker: He tends to avoid any substances for, you know, obvious reasons. Alcohol: See previous. Favorite food: Waffles with sliced mango. Favorite cookie: Oatmeal. Favorite animal(s): Mantis shrimp - “did you know they can generate so much power in their attacks that they can briefly super-heat the water up to 7,700 °C??” Favorite music: Indian- especially Krishna Bhajan.

Clint Barton: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American and Panamanian. Faith: His parents were both Protestant but he’s never latched on to any specific faith and hasn’t really devoted a lot of thought on the matter. He has a sorta loose idea of “maybe something out there” but that’s all the further he’s gotten on the subject. What he tells anyone who asks it’s that his religion is coffee. Smoker: Briefly when he was a teen. Alcohol: Beer - he’s a fan of dark lager. Favorite food: Coney Island dogs, Pizza, and pickle flavored potato chips. Favorite cookie: Monster cookies with the mini M&Ms. Favorite animal(s): Dogs Favorite music: 80s rock and some country.

Natasha Romanoff: Ethnicity: Russian. Faith: She was not given much choice when younger and was raised as “state atheist” (per comics). In the years since escaping that life, however, she has tried to discover more about herself. Her parents were both Russian Jewish and there has been a pull to discover more about that faith - especially since meeting Wanda - who is Jewish. Smoker: No. Alcohol: Some vodka - that’s a given. But she actually prefers wine; and honestly her favorites are wine spritzers. Favorite food: Favorite cookie: Krumkake filled with creme and berries. Favorite animal(s): Favorite music: Overall she listens to a pile of little-known bands and whomever is playing at whatever bar in whatever city she happens to be in. She also is a huge fan of old school Spice Girls.

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hireath24 · 5 years ago

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Everything Wrong with ACOFAS: A Rant Part One

Disclaimer: These page numbers come from the UK paperback edition of A Court of Frost and Starlight. This is my own personal opinion of the book - the writing, the grammar, the characters, etc. I won’t be commenting on anything that may have been plagiarized or has been ripped off from the history of other cultures as SJM has a tendency to do. If you disagree with my opinions, I’m sorry and hope you see the error in your ways.

Page 1: ‘...with a heady cup of tea.’ First of all... heady? Is Feyre spiking her morning tea with alcohol? Someone tell me.

Page 3: ‘I was still new enough to being a High Lady’ see, this is what I cannot understand. Even when I used to enjoy the books, I don’t get why Feyre was made a High Lady?? She has had no training, has no idea how to run a country and, when Rhysand first met her, she couldn’t even read nor write. And if Rhys cares so much about his court and the safety of his people, why put her in charge? THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER FOR TWO YEARS WHEN HE DECIDED TO MAKE HER A HIGH LADY! HOW COULD HE TRUST HER ENOUGH TO SHARE OWNERSHIP OF HIS COURT?!

Page 4: ‘Working had helped. Both of us.’ I’m convinced that this book was spell checked and then sent out for printing, lord help me.

Page 5: ‘It’s more for those who wish to honor the light’s rebirth, usually by spending the entire night sitting in absolute darkness.’ This is actually a pretty interesting concept. I would have loved to see the Inner Circle honor this tradition and maybe have a midnight dance where they all wear black clothing and we learn more about their culture but it was ruined by the need for pointless smut and bickering.

Page 5: ‘I donned the heavy charcoal sweater and the tight black leggings.’ Why is she wearing a sweater? Why is she wearing leggings? Is this not a fantasy novel?

Page 6: ‘the heavy, wicked-looking mace that Rhys had somehow dumped beside the desk without my noticing.’ Look at the feminist hiding big weapons in his bedroom without asking his wife first. Ooooh. Also... Why does he even need weapons? And why in the bedroom? I was of the impression that the war was over?

Page 7: So SJM wants us all to think that Rhysand is this amazing ruler who would do anything for his people and is The Best High Lord but... ‘the court budget that Rhys never really cared to follow.’ Ahem. Also, what budget? Where are they getting their money from? Why is the Night Court the best court and why do they have so much money? Tell me how this works.

Page 11: Okay so this is in Rhysand’s POV and, to be honest, it’s so different from the tone he uses when we see him from Feyre’s POV? His thought process reads eerily like Feyre’s. Also, Rhys supposedly frees ‘old or young’ women from having to do ‘drudgery’ work and this basic act of inhuman decency shows us how woke of a person he is?

Page 14: ‘buried inside her.’ Edit: Oh, dear High Lord, he said it twice.

Page 15: Rhysand’s cock is this magical thing that deserves its own religion and yet the big man can climax at a laugh. Wow. Also,they have sex in the sky and Feyre laughs when they nearly crash into someone’s roof? Isn’t that a bit insensitive considering they have to ‘rebuild Verlaris after the attacks’? THIS IS A YA BOOK. WHY IS RHYSAND CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT SEX AND FEYRE BEING ‘bent over’ A KITCHEN TABLE?! Also Feyre said that the house was getting too crowded with everyone there so when the fuck did they do that

Page 16: ‘We can’t kill our way out of this one.’ What an amazing ruler.

Page 18: ‘Cassian and my mate’s sister...’ Why can’t he just say Feyre? Honestly, this is so clunky and it just takes me right out of the scene. We get it! You’re mates! They go on about being mates as much as vegans go on about being... Do I really have to explain where I was going with this

Also, Rhysand tends to say things and then explain the reasoning behind what he said in his thought process. Which is basically a really crappy method for info-dumping. And it’s boring.

Page 19: ‘She’ll be there,’ I said, grinding my teeth,’ Honestly the way Nesta is treated is so terrible. Not only morally but also from a writing viewpoint: SJM can’t write a good, morally gray character and so she makes the MC hate Nesta to make her look like the bad guy.

Page 20: ‘It indeed would.’ Why does the indeed need to be there? It doesn’t. In fact, the line (about violence breaking out if Cassian spoke to Nesta about accepting a job that Rhys offered her) would be much more effective if the indeed... wasn’t there.

Page 20: ‘Your mother was 18 to your father’s nine hundred.’ I just- What? How does the aging system work for Fae? Also ew?? Just to put that into perspective: If I were to date Chaucer, he would only be 700 years old.

Page 22: I’m wondering why Cassian’s POV is in third person when Feyre and Rhys’s POV is in first... And why does every character have to rave about how great Feyre and Rhys are? You can’t tell me that every single character thinks that they are the entire bee’s leg. That’s so boring to read about. These people are cardboard.

Page 26: Why is the mountain called Ramiel? Like, I get that people name mountains but why is it called that when it is older than ‘the first ruler of the Night Court’? I would like history, please.

Page 27: Cassian has burned an entire village to ‘only cinders and debris’ and he never faces any repercussions of that? Rhysand’s ruling feels very biased but go off, I guess.

Page 32: Feyre’s POV again and ‘I’d indeed braved the walk’ WHAT IS THIS OBSESSION WITH THAT WORD?! It doesn’t mean anything. It’s a filler word that shouldn’t be there and should only ever be used sparingly. This book shouldn’t be over 200 pages.

Page 32: ‘Stop importing goods from other courts because it impacts local artisans’ What goods? What court are they trading with? How does it impact local artisans? And impacts what? Their money? Their general happiness? Their time?

Page 32: ‘And I now did, too.’

Page 34: ‘Indeed, the buildings around it...’ WHAT THE FUCK IS UP

Page 35: ‘On her pale green skin’ Why do some people have these skin tones and others don’t? I would have loved to see Rhysand look a little more magical. If his eyes weren’t violet but literally the night sky. No sclera. I would love to see Feyre’s appearance change when every single court gave her a drop of their power. That would have been amazing. But nope.

Page 38: SJM has this shameless thing for cheesy lines. This is a personal nitpick of mine but saying things like ‘What do you paint? The things that need telling.’ and ‘Let’s make this a fight worthy of a song.’ Said by Aedion in the Throne of Glass series is just... It rubs me the wrong way, I don’t know why. It feels like a cliche and also like she’s trying too hard? I don’t know

Page 39: ‘...Without summoning a flame would be handy indeed.’ Guys, I have a new drinking game.

Page 40: I stand by my theory that Amren is an asexual dragon forced to take the skin of a girl when she jumped between worlds.

Page 40: Also, how are people finding these jewels? Are there mines? Are some jewels native to certain courts and they have a trade agreement?

Page 41: When thinking about the disaster that was Mor’s ‘coming out scene’ Feyre doesn’t use the term ‘coming out’ once. It’s just ‘what she told me.’ WHY?

Page 44: I think this has been touched on before but what exactly is the Court of Nightmares? It’s a subcourt for the Night Court but... Does every court have that? And why? Do they have to do the same amount of work as the Night Court? Do they have to do any work?

I was going to divide this rant to 50 pages for each one but I don’t want to start a new chapter and my battery is dying. Part 2 will be up soon. Edit: Part 2 can be found here and Part 3 can be found here. Part 4 can be found here.

#anti sjm #anti sarah j maas #anti acofas #anti acotar #anti feysand #anti acowar #anti acomaf #anti feyre #anti rhysand #anti tog #anti rowaelin #long posts #my post

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swanqueeneverafter · 4 years ago

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Sins of the Past Pt.14

Camelot. Courtyard. (Finally arriving back at the castle, Lancelot leads the knights into the courtyard where Morgana has been addressing the people.) Morgana: (Directly to Lancelot:) "As your Queen, I expect your allegiance and devotion." Lancelot: (Dismounting his horse:) "Is that right? Well it just so happens that there is but one Queen that we recognise. Long live Queen Quinevere!" Knights: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" Morgana: (Coldly:) "I will give you one more chance to pledge your allegiance to me." Lancelot: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" Knights: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" (To Morgana's dismay, several of the villagers and courtiers begin to chant along with the knights.) Morgause: (Stepping in:) "Perhaps this will help you change your mind." (Morgause raises her hand and several soldiers raise their crossbows.) Lancelot: (Defiantly:) "Long live Queen Guinevere! (Using her powers, Morgause forces the soldiers to turn and point their crossbows at the unarmed villagers:) No!" (Before the men can shoot however, a battle cry is heard as Xena and Gabrielle arrive. Hurling her chakram, Xena disables the crossbows while flipping in mid air and catching the weapon upon its return.) Gabrielle: (Seeing the glint return to Xena's eyes:) "I guess I don't need to ask if you're ready to fight." Xena: (Drawing her sword and twirling it:) "Bring 'em on."

(A battle breaks out between the soldiers loyal to Morgana and the knights. Xena and Gabrielle evening up the odds for Lancelot's men. Somehow managing to remain unnoticed amongst the fighting, Merida raises her bow and points it towards the balcony. Knowing that she'll only get one shot, Merida is torn and unable to decide who to shoot before reinforcements arrive in the courtyard.) Morgana: "Take them to the dungeons! (To Morgause:) Have Lancelot brought to the throne room." Morgause: "Yes, Your Highness." (Morgana leaves the balcony while Morgause watches with a satisfied smile as the rebels are rounded up below.) Neverland. (Armed with her own bow and arrow, Tiger Lily leads Regina and Emma through the uneven terrain as they carry Maria between them.) Emma: "So you mean to tell me that since Pan left, magic has pretty much disappeared from Neverland?" Tiger Lily: "Mostly, yes. There are still pockets of magic scattered across the island, but not many." Regina: "Obviously Pan's hideaway is one of those pockets and once we're back inside it, we can poof ourselves back home." Emma: "Is that why you're still here? You were stranded once the magic left?" Tiger Lily: "No, mine is a self imposed exile. This existence, where I am far from the temptations of magic, suits me much better." Emma: "Is that because of what happened with Rumplestiltskin? Is that what drove you away?" Tiger Lily: (Shakes her head:) "Those events took place hundreds of years ago, Emma. I continued my duties as a fairy godmother to countless children after Rumplestiltskin." Regina: "So what caused you to give up that life?" Tiger Lily: (Stops walking and faces them:) "There was another child who’s fate was forever altered by my actions. A beautiful baby girl was born to the King and Queen of a powerful nation. All was well at first, until the day it was discovered that the girl held magical powers. The King had come to power at a time where the people were distrustful of magic. Indeed, it was the King who had ordered many people, including children, to be drowned if they were discovered to possess magic." Regina: "The Great Purge. You're talking about Uther Pendragon?" Tiger Lily: (Nodding, continues:) "Queen Ygraine begged me to save her child from that same fate. And so, under the cover of darkness, I smuggled the infant Morgause out of Camelot and gave her to the High Priestesses of the Old Religion to raise. Uther was told that the child had died and I swore an oath never to reveal my actions to anyone. After that, I left my life as a fairy behind me, determined never again to play a part in ruining another child's life." Emma: "You know, if she and Morgana hadn't just put a bounty on my head, I might've felt sorry for Morgause." Regina: (Looking behind them:) "Speaking of which, it seems we have a few bounty hunters on our tail." Tiger Lily: "Lost Boys. Quick, this way!" (Regina and Emma follow Tiger Lily while the hollering of the Lost Boys draws ever nearer.)

Arendelle. (With everyone now awake and the party cancelled, Elsa is pacing worriedly as she learns that Lily hasn’t been seen or heard from. Anna speaks to Hook and Rumplestiltskin who were called to aid in the search. Kristoff is casually holding onto a chair, attempting to remain calm.) Elsa: "So, no one has heard from Lily? There's been no sightings from anyone in the castle?" Kristoff: "Since you asked me ten seconds ago? Nope." Hook: “Something is definitely going on here. First my wife goes missing, now my daughter.” Anna: (Suddenly grabbing him by his shirt:) “All right, Mr. Pirate Man, think! Who have you messed with that would want to take their revenge on you by kidnapping Lily?!” Kristoff: (Helpfully:) “And Maleficent.” Anna: “Her too. (Shaking Hook:) Well?!” Elsa: “Anna! Release him this instant!” (With a growl, Anna releases Hook. Kristoff takes her hand and moves her away.) Hook: “It’s all right, love. I’ve been asking myself the same question since I got here. The truth is, I just don’t know who would want to do this.” Rumplestiltskin: “There is the possibility that this has nothing to do with revenge. We don’t even know if the two disappearances are connected. Maleficent could simply be spending sometime alone. Perhaps she’s in the Forbidden Fortress as we speak?” Anna: “Well, Lily has definitely been taken. She wouldn’t just get up and leave my sister’s birthday party. We’ve been working on it together for months!” Elsa: “I can't just sit here. I'm going after her.” Kristoff: “Go where? There are no tracks to follow.” Elsa: “That’s impossible. Lily can’t just have vanished.” Kristoff: (Sighs:) “I don’t suppose there’s any point in trying to stop you?” Elsa: “You can't. I'm the queen.” Rumplestiltskin: (Cutting in:) “Which is exactly why you need to stay in Arendelle. There has already been one Queen overthrown today. Until we know exactly what’s going on, we can’t rule out any possibility.” Elsa: “You think someone kidnapped Lily in an attempt to get me to abdicate?” (At that moment, a guard enters without knocking, clearly with important news.) Guard: "Your majesty. I apologize for barging in like this, but we have news from one of our scouts.” Elsa: (Hopeful:) “Have you found Lily?” Guard: “No. But they discovered something else in their search.” (He hands Elsa a leather wrapped piece of parchment. Elsa reads the report on the parchment.) Anna: “What does it say?” Elsa: “Lady Helen, or at least the real Lady Helen, was found dead in the outskirts of the forest.” Kristoff: “Well that's one less person to interrogate. Look, I know every inch of those mountains out there. Let me go and start the search for Lily.” Elsa: “No, you're not going anywhere. It's too dangerous. If Mr. Stiltskin’s right and Lily was taken because of me then the kidnappers would be only too happy to capture my brother in law too." Kristoff: “So I'll be real careful.” Elsa: “You're staying right here. As you said, I am the queen of Arendelle. So let me be the queen and handle it.”

A Cave. Location Unknown. (Much like Elsa, Lily is seen pacing. Unlike Elsa, Lily is confined to a cage. Grabbing the bars, she shakes them violently, screaming to be let out. Crouching down in the corner of her cell, Lily attempts to metamorphose into her dragon form.) Balinor: (Entering the cave carrying firewood:) "That won't work. (Lily opens her eyes and stares at the man:) That cage is designed to keep you contained in your current form." Lily: "Why am I here? What do you want with me?" Balinor: "That can wait. I was told you didn't get to eat anything at your fancy party. (Indicates the firewood:) So I'm fixing dinner." Lily: "I have powerful allies. Friends and family who will come looking for me. My mother-" Balinor: "We know about your mother." (They stare at each other, Balinor dropping his gaze first.) Lily: "What have you done with her?" Balinor: (Walks away:) "Don't worry yourself needlessly tonight, little one." Lily: "Where is she? Do you hear me? What have you done with her?!" Wonderland. Grendel's House. (Still sitting on the kitchen floor and struggling with her bonds, Ella looks to Will who continues to stare at the images playing over and over within the knot.) Ella: “Will, let's get out of here. I can't find my mother if I'm dead. Forget the knot.” Will: “We've got to have it. Let me talk to him. Don't worry. I'm good with monsters.” Ella: “No. This is for me, and I say we find another way.” Will: “This is for me, too, and we're doing it. (Cheerily:) Excuse me, Mr. Grendel? That woman that you've been looking at, she's quite lovely.” Grendel: “Stop talking.” Will: “Do you know her? Does she have a name?” (The Grendel growls and stalks over to Will, raising his hand. Then, his attention caught by the images playing in the Forget-Me-Knot, The Grendel calms, watching.) Young Woman: “Tell it again, dear. I love that story.” Young Man: “I would gladly tell it to you-” Grendel: “Forever.” (The Grendel sighs as the young couple kiss.) Will: “She was yours, wasn't she? You loved her. (Grendel growls:) Losing someone you truly love, it can change you.” Grendel: “How do you know?” Will: “Because the way you look is how I felt. Believe me, I understand what you're going through.” Ella: (Whispers:) “Keep talking. It's working.” Will: “I say that the only way to move on is to leave the past behind ya. Looking through that knot, thinking about her, seeing her, remembering her. It hurts too much! You want to move on, you have to let go of the hurt. It's the only way.” Grendel: “I don't want to move on.” Will: “Sometimes you don't have a choice. It's for the best, mate. Trust me.” Grendel: “Silence! (He grabs an axe, pointing it at Will:) Dinner time.” (The Grendel walks over to the fireplace and adds another log to the flames.)

Storybrooke. Mayor's Office. (Snow White stands with her arms folded, clearly ready to argue.) Snow White: "Just admit it. You feel embarrassed about the jousting competition and you don't want to show your face at the camp site." David: "I am not embarrassed. Aladdin won fair and square. He got to his feet before I did. I have nothing to be ashamed of." Snow White: "No, of course not. Neither did Humpty Dumpty." David: (While Snow sniggers with laughter:) "Oh I see, you're enjoying this. All right, laugh it up. (Snow does, continuing to laugh:) I refuse to be embarrassed by something you're partially responsible for. (Snow continues to giggle, using her hands to mime David trying and failing to get back to his feet:) You know what? Fine. You want to hear an embarrassing story, how about this..." Storybrooke. Recent Past. Outside Swan-Mills House. (Emma waits outside for David to pick her up in the police cruiser when she receives a call.) Emma: "Hey, 'Gina, what's up?" Regina: "Oh, nothing, just missing you. We both are." Emma: (Smiles:) "Yeah? You guys still in bed?" Regina: "We sure are. Want to see?" Emma: (Looking around to make sure she's alone:) "I'd love that." Regina: "Hang on a sec." (Emma waits a moment, then receives a photo of Regina and baby Maria laying in bed together.) Emma: "Aw, you look so comfy, now I'm gonna miss you both even more." Regina: "I know, but we'll be right here waiting for you when you get home." Emma: (Smirks, looking back towards the house:) "You know technically I'm still at home." Regina: "Then come back to bed." Emma: (Sighs:) "You know I can't. They're short-handed at the station. (David pulls up alongside her:) David's here, I better go." Regina: "Hm. Well all right, but only if you call me that name I like. (Emma, seeing David stepping out of the car, mutters something unintelligible:) What was that? I couldn't hear you." Emma: (Louder:) "I said I love you, Smoopsie Poo." David: (Standing behind Emma:) "Damnit!" (Emma spins around to face her father, utterly mortified.) Regina: (Magically putting herself on speaker:) "I told you I could get her to say it." David: "Yeah, yeah you did." (David passes by Emma, walking to the front door and posts twenty dollars through the letterbox.) Emma: "Wait, you guys set me up?" (Emma receives another photo, this time of Regina with her tongue out and the caption: ‘Sorry, Snuggle Bunny.’) Regina: (Chuckling:) "Have a good day, Sheriff." (Regina hangs up.) Mayor's Office. Present. Snow White: (Having listened to David's story:) "Well sure, that's a little embarrassing, but you can bet Emma didn't just take that lying down. And that's all I'm saying, David. Yes, you were humiliated, but that doesn't mean you can just hide out here all day." David: (Putting his hands up:) "You're right, of course you're right. I'll see you tonight." (David leaves and Snow returns to her paperwork.)

Mayor's Office. Recent Past. (Stuck in a boring council meeting, Regina sits behind her desk reading through a stack of papers while Snow White makes her closing statement. Although used to tolerating her former step-daughter/current mother-in-law's long, rambling speeches, Regina isn't exactly thrilled to be forced to listen to one less than a week removed from the end of her maternity leave. After reading the same sentence for the third time and still not understanding it, Regina glances up to see Archie asking Snow a question that will undoubtedly prolong the meeting for at least another ten minutes. Resignedly, Regina returns her attention to her papers. After finally managing to read through the document, Regina places it face down on her desk before picking up another. The next document in question is actually a letter market 'urgent', written in familiar handwriting. Looking up once more to check it isn't time for her to speak, Regina slices open the letter and begins to read.)

Dear Mayor Swan-Mills,

Please can you help me as I have nowhere else to turn. It seems I have spent the whole day baking and yet have no one here to taste the 'forbidden fruits' of my labour. As you can see from the enclosed photograph, the kitchen really did become quite hot, but I managed to keep my apron on regardless.

Hoping you are well, Emma

P.S. Maria is asleep and if you're not home in five minutes, I'm starting without you. xxx

Regina: (Practically jumping to her feet:) "This meeting is adjourned." Archie: "But I was just-" Regina: "I said we are done here!" (The members of the council meeting begin to file out of the office while Regina starts stuffing papers frantically into her bag.) Snow White: (Concerned:) "Is everything all right?" Regina: (Distractedly:) "Hm? Oh, yes it's fine. I just have to leave, immediately. (As Snow continues to stare at her:) Really, it's nothing. Your daughter's laid out a lovely spread... (An explicit image flashes in her minds eye:) Er... I mean she's in heat. (Gasps:) I mean Emma's prepared something hot and I have to go and eat her. I mean the meal! Oh, whatever!" (As a flustered Regina disappears in a cloud of smoke, Snow shakes her head knowingly, not having been fooled for a second.)

Neverland. Present. (Still too far from Pan's Hideout, Regina, Emma and Tiger Lily decide to take a stand. Placing Maria's carrier on the ground, they turn to face the oncoming group of Lost Boys.) Lost Boy 1: "Over there!" Emma: "Listen, we don't want any trouble and clearly we're not going to fight you." Lost Boy 1: "There's only one thing we want from you." Regina: (Stepping forward:) "If you think I'm going to let a group of unwashed adolescents claim the bounty on my wife's head-" Lost Boy 1: "Bounty? What do we care about a bounty? We're here to make you pay for what happened to Pan." Storybrooke. Main Street. (Presumably headed towards the mines, Happy and Grumpy walk down the street with their pickaxes over their shoulders. At the sound of horses approaching, the dwarves turn to see three knights arrive on horseback.) Grumpy: (One of the knights dismounts and draws his sword:) "Didn't anyone ever teach you not to mess with a dwarf and his pickaxe?" (Grumpy swings and is quickly disarmed. Happy's axe is taken from him without a fight. Forced to their knees, the dwarves look up to see the third knight remove his helmet.) Third Knight: "Didn't anyone ever teach you to kneel before your betters? Now, tell me where Emma Swan is."

#sq #swanqueen #swan queen

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madllamamomma · 4 years ago

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I Think I Have a Problem.... (A personal true story).

So as the title suggests, I have a strange problem…. Just as a warning, this is about my view of my younger self. It is about religion, and gender identity. This is not how I see the world anymore. It was how I told how the world should look. If you are offended in any way, please know this is a vent post and nothing to hurt anyone else. This is just what happened to me as a child. Shit….. This is about to get very long winded, so buckle up and here we go… *takes deep breath*

So a little backstory on your Mother Llama: I was raised in a weird backward ass “Independent” Baptist church most of my young life. If you guys don’t know what those are, be thankful…. But I guess I should explain it the best way I can…. they are a borderline cult. Yes. I said it. I’m not sorry. It may sound like an extreme accusation, but hold on. Just listen to me.

Now, I have no problem with Christians, or religion. You should believe whatever you want to believe in…. I do however, have a problem when religion is used as an excuse to not educate minds about the real world, force them to not let them think for themselves, and when someone questions any of it, they are punished or shamed for it instead of thinking about an answer. If you can’t tell, I am still a little angry about that shit. Imma try to keep on topic here….

I wasn’t taught science (real science anyways, it was all about ‘creation’ bs—OH! And being anything but a cis straight person was compleltly unexceptable. Woman were the weaker sex and were made to raise babies and take care of the husband. Men were superior and should be taken care of.) nor about World history or about other cultures, other than biblical of course. And when they were mentioned, they made them look evil and behave like heathens because they didn’t believe the same as they did. Everything changed when I went to public school half of fourth grade when my family moved to a different state and there wasn’t any church school like I went to. I learned a lot those years, that ‘The World’ wasn’t as bad of a place as they said it was. It was vast and had many things to offer. (No, not the World, Dio’s stan power from Jojo’s bizarre adventures—that is what our pastors called anything outside of the Baptist approved realm. Something ‘Worldly’ was basically something sinful and ungodly and therefor was bad and wrong).

So this may seem like a strange Segway in to what I am actually getting at, but I had a huge crush on this boy back when I was young and it started when I was about 12 or 13 years old and ended when I was 16. He was the same age as me, and he was the son of a pastor of a small church of about 20 people, mostly military families— we will call him.... D.... for dick...

I thought for a long time that I ‘loved’ D. I thought that ‘God made him for me’ (yes I really said that and it hurt to even write it). I really thought I knew what love was back then, but I was very wrong.

D was homeschooled, he didn’t have many friends and was also a navy brat like I was. So, naturally, we got along very well, and I would hang out with him at his house sometimes. We mainly played video games I was terrible at and he would always bet me. But I liked hanging out with him, so I didn’t care if I won or not. My heart for some reason was totally head over heels over D. And he liked me too for a while… or at least I thought he did… He however never made a move. I always thought D was just too shy, and didn’t know how to ask me. Any time I tried holding his hand, I’d chicken out. It was a stalemate. But this particular church did a thing where people had to court. Yes... COURT someone, not DATE (Courting is where you had adult chaperones keeping an eye on you two, you were never really alone. Ever, because apparently you can’t be trusted?). When we both turned 15 yo, D started a private Christian school. Being the awkward girl I was, I never told him how I felt, I just waiting for him to say something. Time passed, and I still waited and waited for him to ask me out.

But here’s the thing! He didn’t know the real me.

I was in public school, in middle school, and I started to become a weeb. Like a super cringy weeb that didn’t like anything else but anime—I was also kinda emo/punk kid thought I was edgy. (Yeah rock music was bad too, it was ‘Worldly’).Not a very good mix for Baptist I know. At school, I was one person, and at church I was another.

Well, being an anime fan meant I was exposed to a lot of things like the LGTB+ community for the first time. A lot of my friends at the time started to come out other than straight and that was very new to me.

During that time, I soon was starting to secretly question my faith, my understanding of my own sexuality and gender. Like, maybe people liking the same sex or both is actually not a bad thing after all (if you haven’t seen any of my works, hopefully you guys know that I know better that what I was taught—I am a proud fuckin’ ally! I still consider myself cis-straight, but some days I feel like I’m bi-curious, and that’s ok! It took me a long time to realize that, but I’m here now. Gender roles are dead and stupid.)

So here is the kicker~ One faithful day we had a guest pastor join us for a few weeks from another church. This mother fuckin’ nasty ass old white man from Alabama came with his ‘perfect quiet godly’ wife. Who badly ever spoke a damn word. She always just sat in the corner all ‘ladylike’.

—Oh!!! Another fun fact, I didn’t wear pants for a year when I was 10 yo becasue that was considered “cross dressing”— I’m dead fucking serious. My parents then decided after attending sporting events and stuff like that to drop that ludicrous lifestyle, becasue it was stupid. So, Outside of church, my family and I still wore pants and shorts and whatever, but in church we pretended that we didn’t wear anything but modest skirts, dresses, and long culottes. (That’s a little damaging…. don’t you think? Telling people your one thing, when in reality you're not like that at all??)

Anyways— I hated skirts, especially wearing them in the state we lived in, it was way too hot and I’d get chafed (these had to be knee length or longer btw). And of course that guest preacher would preach about the sins of women wearing pants, but I didn’t care. I wore them for so long, it just made me angry anytime someone would bring that up. I liked my jeans and I was starting to become a rebel teen who gave less than a fuck and started to speak my mind. Which was dangerous to that community…. Also I had a bad tendency of not keeping my legs together when I bent down, and one time I accidently showed my underwear (that’s really embarrassing btw, it’s not cute, it’s not funny, it’s awful when you're 14 yo-- really any age actually).

So, one day I wore a long jean skirt for a youth outing with the church. I was required to wear it, but I always wore leggings underneath so I wouldn’t accidentally show my undies if I fell down or the wind blew it. This fucker had to say something about it. The old man turned to me with a wrinkled smirk as I was passing by him and dared to utter, “Now, don’t you feel most femine and ladylike in that skirt? I’m sure Jesus would like seeing you like that.”

My shoulders clench up tight, my brow furrows. All I can remember seeing is fucking red and actually trembling with fury. (This was happening in my pastor, D’s father’s, own living room mind you.) D was there watching as I blanched about ten shades of red in anger and embarrassed because that prick of an old man called me out in front of everyone. I turned to him and half shouted, “NO! I don’t!” I could see my pastor’s mouth drop to the floor as I began to completely obliterate this old man. But I couldn't stop myself as I started to further cut into him. “—I hate wearing skirts! I don’t feel ladylike! In fact, they make me feel vulnerable! What if some guy tries to rape me! They won’t have any problem getting to me!—Why is something with a whole on the bottom more ladylike than something that actually covers me?! I like pants! They are comfortable and they make me feel safe! Why is that a sin to wear something that is more covering?!?! I’m not cross dressing, my mom bought them in the girl’s session!! [Keep in mind that was a long time ago, I don’t feel like people should care about what section they get their clothes from, wear what you want] And what do you know about wearing a skirt?! You’re a man! You try wearing them! They suck! You need to stop telling me what I can and can’t wear! I’m not dressing like a whore for wearing something with a crotch!! SO LEAVE ME ALONE!!” Everyone in the living room was just stunned at my audacity to dare speak to this pastor like I did. But he was so fucking quiet after that. And I stormed out of the house and the guest pastor never spoke to me again about it. Luckily my mom came and picked me shortly after that. She was angry too after I told her what happened. That old fuck singled me out and I was pissed off. I was a teenager and that shit was embarrassing!

But I made the mistake of showing my true self. I think after that moment, D stopped liking me after that.

Some shit went down south with my parents behind closed doors of my household, and eventually they got divorced. They left the small church because the pastor didn’t approve of it. Pastor said that my parents just needed more counseling but he didn't understand that they just needed to not be together. Sometimes you can’t make things work. Especially when your dad is a toxic piece of shit that only cares about himself.

Anyways, everyone in my family left the church, but I stuck around that shit-hole just to see if D would ask me out. I was so desperate, I felt like I waited forever, but really it was like 2-3 years, and I felt like I couldn’t give up. Eventually D and I turned 16. He started to become distant and a little mean towards me and I became confused and started to realize the worst. Finally, I was tired of waiting so I asked his older sister if he liked me on the way back taking me home. I could see it in her face, that she didn’t want to have my heart broken, but reluctantly she told me no. He actually liked another girl at his new private school and was going to ask her parents to court her instead.

I was so devastated.... It hurt so much, I cried myself to sleep that night, and most of that week I was very sad.

Obviously, after that, I stopped going to church entirely, I couldn't show my face anymore. Finally let myself question my faith, sexuality, gender roles, and humanity all together. And realized that religion was stupid (in my opinion at the time) and I came u with the conclusion that people can be sheep. I was a sheep for a long time. And I refuse to be one ever again.

High school was very enjoyable after that, and I let myself grow and started to love other religions and world history, and tried to stop being so judgmental of others and what they felt like. I even got into a relationship with a sweet boy around my age.

Eventually in college, after a break-up with my high school sweetheart, I reconnected with D via FB. Apparently, the church went under and his parents moved away to Greece to be missionaries or something. D still lives in the same town I’m in, but graduated from a “Christian academy”—not Catholic, Christian. Catholic colleges are accredited at least. But he basically told me he was a secret “bad boy” now. He lost his virginity in highschool, (like I did) and he was totally trying to booty call me. Not even hiding it either! He was like, “Hey, Llama, you wanna fuck?”.

And I was like, “D! You broke my fucking heart when we were young! Don’t you remember that???”

And he was like, “Oh no! I had no idea! (the fuckin’ liar). Well, we can fuck now!~ *wink, wink*”

🤨

This is where I was a jerk.... Because he broke my heart. I led him on, told him I would meet up with him at his house to sleep with him, and just didn’t show up—ghosted him ever since. The worst part about that, is I still don’t regret doing that to him. I hope I hurt his feelings and felt like an ass like I did.

So years have passed, I consider myself as a rather successful woman now. I’m 27, I consider myself Buddhist (I am a terrible Buddhist I know), I am an Occupational Therapy Assistant and I have a great husband (I married the guy I was with in high school). And he loves the real me—the crazy closet weeb, cartoon watching, creative, expressive, me! The person who also writes fanfiction about a romance novel and he is fine with it. Because he is a huge nerd too and we are both nerds together.

My husband is my best friend and I don’t know what I’d do without him. When I write about Rhemi and Muriel, I draw a lot of inspiration with our conversation we have and how relationship dynamics are and I think it makes the writing more authentic and makes them feel a bit more real.

I love my husband more than anything… So why do I keep dreaming about that stupid asshole that just liked the fake me? D was and always will be a total tool. He is like the basic bitch of a man. And yet I still find him creeping in my dreams and I try to cheat on my husband with him in them. I wake up feeling totally terrible and weird after them too. D is a terrible fucking person—the worst person you can be in my opinion—The kind of person why lies and tells people one thing, but hides the fact that he’s really just a nasty fuck boy. If you are one, just be honest! Don’t tell another woman you're a good christan man, when really you’ve slept with not just one, but multiple girls! That how you get fucking STDs! I hate being lied to, and I’m sure other girls do too! So I guess that’s why I do, because I felt like I was lied to my entire life. Then again, why should I even care?! Why do I feel like I still obsess over him? I hate him so much now! So why do I even care? Why do I still find myself stalking him on social media? Why does it even matter? Why do I want him to see I’m happy without him? Why do I want him to see what he could have had with me? We were just stupid teenagers! Why did I care so much? Why did it hurt so much when I found out he didn’t like me?! It’s been over a decade, and we didn’t even really date! Why did this affect me so hard? …. FUCK!

So yeah. That’s my long ass rant for you all… thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#story time #mad llama momma story #true story #weird dreams #why does my brain do this?#anybody relate?#does anyone get me?#vent post

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tigerkirby215 · 5 years ago

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5e Senna the Redeemer build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Friendship ended with Xayah and Rakan; Senna and Lucian new best LoL couple.

I really don’t have much to say on why I wanted to make a Senna build other than “she’s cool and Lucian has best girl.” But seriously can we talk about how hype Senna’s release was? Lucian was fighting for SIX YEARS to get his wife back and then... he did. Senna’s trailer honestly made me shed a tear I felt so happy for the guy.

GOALS

Light - Senna is the redeemer of lost souls, and fights along with Lucian in Sentinels of Light. Naturally she needs some divine Damacian protection at her side.

And Darkness - Her time in the lantern has given Senna some lasting changes. She can turn into a screaming cloud, among other things.

Be free... - Senna seeks to set the lost souls of the Shadow Isles free, and also uses her powers of light and darkness to keep her allies alive.

RACE

Senna is a human but all that time in Thresh’s lantern has changed her quite a bit. Normally I’d just go for a Variant Human but I thought we should spice things up a bit: the Mark of Finding from Eberron is perfect for a Survivalist who spent their life running through a soul-filled lantern. Your Wisdom score increases by 2 and your Constitution score increases by 1, and unlike most humans you start with a Darkvision of 60 feet from all the time you spent in the darkness of a... lantern. Thresh you want to fix the light in there?

But the main skill you gained in there was Hunter’s Intuition. If you roll a Perception or Survival check you can add a d4 to the roll: note that this does stack with spells like Guidance for quite a bit of insurance when trying to spot a lost soul or survive in a realm full of them.

You also get access to Finder’s Magic which just gives you a big ol’ list of spells along with some innate spellcasting. I’ll cover all the spells you get when you’re at a level to cast them in the build. You also know Common as well as Goblin. "Yeah, I met someone in there. He's a ghoul goblin. We fell in love and made ghoul goblin babies..."

If your DM doesn’t allow Eberron: Feel free to play a Variant Human. Increase your Dexterity and Wisdom by 1. Take any skill you want (I’d argue Religion would be in-character) as well as any language you want and take the Sharpshooter feat for more accurate shots with your relic cannon.

Also for whatever reason the Spells of the Mark don’t appear on the D&D Beyond virtual character sheet, so I’ve elected to not mention them in this build.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - Running all your life from the terrors in the mist takes a lot of dodging skill, and while that Relic Cannon might weigh a lot it takes Dexterity to aim it.

14; WISDOM - To fight with both the light and dark you don’t need brains; you need sympathy.

13; CONSTITUTION - Senna herself says that The Mist is like you’re drowning. You ever held your breath for 6 years? I don’t think so. Also this is mainly to balance the +1 to CON from Mark of Finding.

12; INTELLIGENCE - You’re the brains of the operation, even if Lucian doesn’t want to admit it.

10; CHARISMA - Senna is best described as “rough around the edges.”

8; STRENGTH - Even though your Relic Cannon weighs a ton I’ll chock that up to the Curse of the Black Mist more than Senna’s actual upper body strength.

BACKGROUND

Even at a young age Senna was corrupted by the Black Mist, and the Haunted One background from Curse of Strahd is for those with a dark past. You choose 2 proficencies from the listed skills: take Religion and Survival for training both as a Sentinel of Light and as a survivor of the Shadow Isles. You also get one exotic language and while I always suggest to take what you think will be useful Deep Speech is likely the most common language of the creatures of the mist.

As a Haunted One you get a Heart of Darkness. A look into your green eyes will reveal a tragic past, and will influence the local priest to help you and possibly hook you up with his son. Commoners will be able to tell that you have a tragic past and will do anything to help you, even helping you fight if your old warden corners you when you’re alone.

(Artwork by Paul Nong)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - CLERIC 1

Senna started out as a Sentinel of the Light, which means that we’ll be starting off with Cleric. (Truth is that we’re mainly doing this for Saving Throws.) Clerics get proficiency in two skills from the Cleric list: choose Medicine for sure along with any of the other skills on the list: they’re all in character for Senna. (I personally opted for Insight.)

But unlike most subclasses Clerics get to choose their archetype at first level and Grave Domain Clerics fight for the dead and the living. Grave Domain Clerics are part of the Circle of Mortality: if you cast a healing spell on a target with 0 hitpoints they are automatically healed the maximum amount, and you get the Spare the Dying cantrip with an extended range of 30 feet. Spare those whose souls have already been lost, and keep those on the brink of death alive for the fight to come.

Your training as a Sentinel of the Light also lets you see what needs to be purified with Eyes of the Grave. You can use an action to detect any undead within 60 feet until the end of your next turn. You can’t sense them if they’re behind total cover or are protected from divination magic, and you know nothing about them other than the fact that they exist. You can use it a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

But Clerics get Spellcasting and... woo boy there’s a lot to say here. Let’s take it from the top!

Mark of Finding Humans get Finder’s Magic, allowing them to cast Hunter’s Mark once per Long Rest.

Death Domain Clerics have the Bane and False Life spells always prepared.

You get 3 cantrips at level 1: Guidance lets you help Lucian with his dashes or his taxes, Light lets you provide a light in the darkness (duh), and Thaumaturgy lets you use the Curse of the Black Mist to do some spooky things. (Read the spell for the full list of effects.)

Finally you can prepare 4 spells at this level: Healing Word will let you quickly pop a heal at range with Piercing Darkness, Shield of Faith will let you shield your husband from a warden’s hook, Guiding Bolt will let you mark an enemy for your allies to assist with, and Protection from Evil and Good will protect any Purifiers while they try to save you.

Clerics get to prepare their spell list daily so be sure to swap your spells out for what you need: I’m just making suggestions.

IF USING CLASS FEATURE VARIANTS UA: Cause Fear is very in-flavor for Senna but is unfortunately restricted to the Class Feature Variants UA, so only take it if you’re allowed.

But remember that Clerics are prepared spellcasters, meaning that you can swap out your spells at the end of a Long Rest. I’m just picking the spells that are the most in-character for Senna but you’re more than welcome to choose something you think will be more practical.

Oh and as far as Senna’s Relic Cannon goes: at this level you can only use a Light Crossbow, but we’ll get the option to use something heavier soon enough.

LEVEL 2 - CLERIC 2

Level 2 Clerics can Channel Divinity for the light of Demacia aid them. All Clerics can Turn Undead to force undead to make a Wisdom save or run from the reconning. Grave Clerics can also mark a target with Path to the Grave, giving them a Last Embrace and vulnerability to the next shot fired at them. Light them up so Lucian can shoot them down! You can use your Channel Divinity once between short rests.

IF USING CLASS FEATURE VARIANTS UA: You can also use your Channel Divinity to Harness Divine Power, getting back a level 1 spell slot as a bonus action. It’s not much but it’s certainly something.

You can also prepare another spell like Detect Magic to know if anything is hidden in the mist, and if that spider really is a spider.

LEVEL 3 - RANGER 1

Hopping over to Ranger to learn how to shoot a Relic Cannon! Firstly you gain Martial weapon proficiency as a Ranger which will let you swap out the Light Crossbow for a Heavy Crossbow to replicate the Relic Cannon flavor. But more importantly you get another skill proficiency from the Ranger list and the Athletics skill will help make up for your low Strength score.

You also get a Favored Enemy: obviously you’ll be fighting Undead with your husband’s help. You have Advantage to track or remember information on your Favored Enemy. You also get another language and I’d recommend picking whatever’s useful.

You’re also a Natural Explorer in your favored terrain and I’d argue that the Shadow Isles are a Swamp of sorts. You get a bunch of advantages while traveling through your favored terrain which I recommend you read on your own time.

Of course mind you that these are just suggestions for these features: remember that Ranger is a class you have work with your DM in order to get maximum value out of them. Talk to them about what you’re going to fight and where you’ll be: Senna can shoot Galio just as well as Thresh.

IF USING CLASS FEATURES UA: Natural Explorer is replaced with Deft Explorer - I recommend the Canny feature for more help your husband out some more. Take the Perception skill and Expertise in either Medicine or Survival to keep fighting on the Shadow Isles.

Favored Enemy is also replaced with Favored Foe: you can cast Hunter’s Mark a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier and don’t need to concentrate on the spell. These uses of Hunter’s Mark come back on a Long Rest just like your class feature Hunter’s Mark, so I’d suggest saving them for when you need to concentrate on something else but still dish out extra damage.

In addition 3rd level Humans with the Mark of Finding can cast Locate Object without using a spell slot once per long rest, so if you need to find a giant stone gun or a lantern you won’t have any trouble finding it.

LEVEL 4 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get a Fighting Style and while Archery may imply the use of a bow it works just as well for aiming a giant hunk of lightstone with a +2 chance to hit.

You also get access to Ranger spells at level 2: Zephyr Strike speeds you up for Absolution, letting you avoid Attacks of Opportunity when you move. In addition you can give yourself Advantage on an attack roll, ending the spell to increase your damage with 1d8 Force and giving you 30 feet of additional movement speed for the turn.

Hunter’s Mark meanwhile is likely a spell you’ve gotten used to since it’s part of your race: you can mark a target to a d6 extra damage to them and have Advantage to track them. You can move the mark to someone else within 90 feet of you if the original target dies.

LEVEL 5 - RANGER 3

At level 3 you get to choose your Ranger Conclave and Gloom Stalker is perfect for those that spend their life running from the mist. You get Umbral Sight which increases your Darkvision by 30 feet and helps you hide in the mist, making you invisible to any creature with Darkvision if you’re standing in darkness. You also get Dread Ambusher: you have a bonus to your initiative equal to your Wisdom modifier and during the first turn of combat your walking speed increases by 10 feet. In addition you can attack twice on your first turn, and your second attack will do an extra d8 of damage. Just a reminder that technically you can’t attack twice with your Heavy Crossbow, but if you have a nice DM or an Artificer willing to lend you a Repeating Crossbow it is fine. Alternatively you can just use a Longbow and reflavor it as a Relic Cannon.

You also get Primeval Awareness, letting you use a spell slot to detect if there are any aberrations, celestials, dragons, elementals, fey, fiends, or undead within 1 mile of you. Or alternatively you can use Primal Awareness to get access to some innate spells. I suggest looking at the Class Feature Variants UA for a list of the spells you can cast with Primal Awareness.

You also get access to the Disguise Self spell for free along with one new spell of your choice: take Ensnaring Strike to lock your enemies down with Last Embrace. “One last breath...”

LEVEL 6 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement and seeing as our Dexterity score is uneven grab the Resilient Feat for Dexterity for proficiency in DEX saving throws and an increase to your DEX modifier.

WHY NOT ANOTHER FEAT? - The only other Feat that increases Dexterity which would be useful for us is Athlete, which isn’t too important for a ranged build.

(Artwork found on lol.gamepedia)

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 5

5th level Rangers get an Extra Attack. Note that if you’re still using the Heavy Crossbow you can only attack once per round, which does mean that you can’t use Dread Ambusher or your second attack with RAW. What I’m saying is even though a Heavy Crossbow makes more sense in-character it would probably be better for the build if you used a Longbow instead.

You also get access to second level Ranger spells at 5th level. Gloom Stalkers know the spell Rope Trick innately so you can climb back into the lantern for safety... I don’t think the lantern is safe. Take Spike Growth for some more misty spikes to slow down your foes.

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers get another Favored Enemy and Favored Terrain from Natural Explorer. Again feel free to metagame with your DM and ask them what to pick, or alternatively take the Tireless feature from the Deft Explorer Class Feature Variant so you can keep running even if you’re hit by Exhaust... both the summoner spell and the D&D debuff!

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 7

7th level Gloomstalkers get Iron Mind, giving them proficiency in Wisdom saves... but if you didn’t notice we already have proficiency in Wisdom saves, and since our other two options are either Charisma (which we have) or Intelligence go for proficiency in Intelligence saves instead. Isn’t it great when everything works out?

You can also learn another Ranger spell and Healing Spirit lets you summon a friendly Mistwraith to heal your allies. Whenever a creature moves through the spirit’s space they heal a d6 of health, and you can move the spirit up to 30 feet on your turn as a bonus action.

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 8

8th level Rangers get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Dexterity again for better accuracy and more damage with your Relic Cannon. You also get Land’s Stride which lets you ignore the plants of the Shadow Isles and gives you advantage to get past magical plants that are trying to stop you.

LEVEL 11 - CLERIC 3

Now that we can fight with the darkness it’s time to fight with the light. 3rd level Clerics get access to second level spells like Blindness/Deafness to hide your allies in the mist... against one enemy. Still useful to get the jump on them.

You also innately know the Gentle Repose spell as well as Ray of Enfeeblement. Keep Lucian away from Thresh by Exhausting him if he comes close!

LEVEL 12 - CLERIC 4

4th level Clerics get another Ability Score Improvement: cap your Dexterity for maximum accuracy and saving throws with your Relic Cannon.

You also get another spell and another cantrip: Word of Radiance lets you shout “DEMACIA!” to force enemies close to you to make a Constitution saving throw or take Radiant damage. Hold Person (once again) lets you send out a Last Embrace to hold your foes down for your allies to take care of them.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 13 - CLERIC 5

5th level Clerics can Destroy Undead with their Turn Undead feature if the undead is of CR 1/2 or lower.

You also get access to 3rd level spells: Bestow Curse lets you bestow the Curse of the Black Mist on an enemy granting a bunch of effects which you can read on the spell list. In addition Grave Clerics always have the Revivify and Vampiric Touch spells prepared, so you can repay your husband for saving you before screeching at those who’d take him from you.

LEVEL 14 - CLERIC 6

6th level Clerics get another use of their Channel Divinity for more undead destruction and more marks for your allies. Additionally Grave Clerics get Sentinel at Death’s Door, allowing them to negate a critical hit on an ally. Fire off Dawning Shadow to shield Lucian. “For the light.” “And all lost in darkness.”

You also get another spell and Mass Healing Word lets you hit a multi-person Piercing Darkness.

LEVEL 15 - CLERIC 7

7th level Grave Clerics get access to 4th level spells. As a Grave Cleric you know the Blight and Death Ward spells innately, letting your enemies wither away in the mist and your allies survive even the toughest blow.

For your spell of choice choose Banishment to send the shadows back from once they came.

LEVEL 16 - CLERIC 8

8th level classes get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Wisdom to get into the fight faster and improve your spellcasting.

8th level Grave Clerics get Potent Spellcasting but if you haven’t noticed we’re going for a weapon-based build so ask your DM to instead use the Blessed Strikes feature from the Class Feature Variants UA to do an extra d8 of Radiant damage with one of your attacks. The Piercing Darkness is mixed with the light, after all.

You can also prepare another spell and Stone Shape lets you form some relicstone into a massive cannon to fight off the darkness... or to make a passage through a wall. Guardian of Faith will let the light of Demacia protect you from any ghouls trying to grab you.

In addition your Destroy Undead feature now destroys undead of CR 1.

LEVEL 17 - CLERIC 9

9th level Clerics get access to 5th level spells. As a Grave Cleric you always have the Antilife Shell and Raise Dead spells always prepared: don’t worry though this is the good kind of Raise Dead where the person is just alive, not a mindless zombie.

For your spell of choice prepare the light of Dawn to strike down your foes.

LEVEL 18 - CLERIC 10

10th level Clerics get Divine Intervention. You can call the gods of Demacia to help you in a time of need. When you do the DM rolls on a percentile die and if the percentage is equal to or lower than your level (so right now 10, or a 1/10 chance) the gods will hear you and help you. You can only call for help once per long rest and if the gods do help you the feature is put on cool-down for 7 days. Never underestimate the power of a light in the darkness: they have long cool-downs for a reason.

You can also prepare another spell and Holy Weapon lets you channel the light into your Relic Cannon, making your weapon attacks do an extra 2d8 of Radiant Damage, and gives you a radiant burst to blind nearby enemies and do 4d8 damage to them.

You additionally get another cantrip and once again I’m largely stumped on what to take, so grab Toll the Dead so the creatures of the mist know their time is up.

LEVEL 19 - CLERIC 11

11th level Clerics can Destroy Undead of CR 2, and can prepare a 6th level spell like Heal.

LEVEL 20 - CLERIC 12

Our final level is the 12th level of Cleric for another Ability Score Improvement: if you want better spells go for more Wisdom but if you want to shoot your gun better I’d suggest finally taking the Sharpshooter Feat. This will let you ignore half cover and three-quarters cover and also shoot from your maximum range without disadvantage. But most importantly you can take a bit of a harder shot to instead receive +10 to your damage roll! “Handled.”

For your final (two) spells of choice Word of Recall lets you quickly recall to your Nexus along with your friends, and True Seeing will let you see if anything is trying to hide from purification or redemption. But again I need to mention that Clerics are prepared spellcasters, so prepare the spells that are useful in the moment.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Out of the lantern... - You are remarkably resistant with above-average health and proficiency with every type of saving throw except for Strength and Constitution, not to mention all the spells you have to buff yourself and your allies.

Hell came with me - You have immense damage output and utility in a fight. +10 to initiative with 3 attacks on turn 1 plus an extra d8 of damage. You also have a huge array of spells and spell slots going up to 8th level, with spells like Hunter’s Mark, Bestow Curse, and Holy Weapon all buffing your Relic Cannon.

I can handle this gun - You have a good deal of utility to provide to yourself and your party. Again I mention your Cleric spells but you also have a large array of proficiencies to be useful out-of-combat as well.

CONS

If you've got a problem with me, make it two - Like I mentioned in the pros section your two big Achilles' heels are Strength and Constitution saves. The low CON modifier in particular is a big issue since it means that you will be dropping Concentration spells frequently.

It’s the dream that makes us giants - Speaking about concentration: the spell list I recommended has a lot of them. You have an ungodly amount of Concentration spells at first level alone and it only gets crazier at higher levels.

Running with a gun in your hand - Senna operates best at range but unfortunately she has very few options to actually make distance for herself. That problem extends into this build as you rely almost entirely on being in the backline away from any Mist Wraiths that might want you.

But you’ve dealt with those problems all your life and they’re not going to stop you when you’re ready for a reckoning. I’m actually rather impressed with this build as it performs well across all levels of play. Fight along-side your husband as well as your team: heal the party, shoot the baddies, and be the light in the darkness. Just try to avoid being banished into a lantern for 6 years: Lucian needs you as much as you need him. "Lucian has a way of breaking down my walls."

(Artwork by Riot Games)

#DnD 5e #dnd build #dnd #dnd guide #League of Legends #League of Legends Senna #dnd ranger #dnd cleric

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kunalsoriginals · 4 years ago

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Pearls of Wisdoms for Pakis

Beloved Janta of Pakistan,

I would also like to share a secret with you, which you might never apprehend from a person from any other country, especially from an Indian. We LOVE YOU, We are obsessed with you. We enjoy infatuation comparable to that of a 14-year boy who has one on a girl living in his neighborhood, like that teenager whose heart warms up with the girl's sight. Still, he tends to tease her or plays whimsical pranks on her. It is his way of showing his affection.

Accept it, my fellow former Countrymen, you guys are in deep love with us as well. I have felt it first-hand. You folks love watching our Movies and fantasy our starlets. Sing Bollywood songs while proposing to your love. Ache to enjoy Mumbai and Delhi's nightlife. Some of you would even love to reside permanently here for a better future. There is also constant discrimination in every viewpoint; it may be Cricket or politics; in all honesty, you think of our day and night.

Keeping this indefinable affection for each other aside for a while, there is a bitter revelation that you people will have to accept and even feed it in the brains of the future generations to come. I am sure that maximum people over your side of the border should by now have conceded that India will never ever surrender Kashmir in your Lap. It won't be possible in at least another century ahead.

You see, in the manner where India's GDP had expanded from 10 Thousand Crores in the 1950s to more than 10 Lacs Crores in 2019, our sentiment of Nationalism has additionally, grown in a comparable pattern. There was a phenomenal hike in this feeling after India's general elections 2014 onwards; the reason for such an increase is unknown to me. So, the moral is, with such a vast Nationalism level in the hearts of the Aam Janta here, I don't think so parting away an inch of land to anyone would be possible.

Won't it look dishonorable for us in the front of the entire world if we lose the land to you guys who are quite behind then us in all the aspects? You will have to accept that technically both our countries are 73 years old this year. Over this side of the border, we have gradually upgraded in all aspects a Nation has to grow. I could virtually challenge you in where you guys can prove to be better in any improvement zone. This is the land wherein the year 1981 Indian Actor Amitabh enacted on the evergreen song "Dekha Ek Khawab " and his Dame Rekha in the movie Silsila hence parting away with Kashmir is painful to us as it will not only hurt our Ego and furthermore offer grief to Amitji.

Forget the BJP led NDA, Even the Congress-led UPA cannot think of such a gormless deal. The primary reason is that they want to come into power next term too to provide Public service. Now you people only tell which government will be such dimwits to kick their own rear and be signed on the history textbook of 10-year-old kids as the People who gave away Kashmir.

Realize this, Pakistani Government, Your Army and also ISI can't withhold the idea of getting the region of Kashmir in your Nation's Map, even they know that your national flag will never rise in Capital of Srinagar but since it was an Inaugural Political Agenda when your Country was created in where the principal objective of this agenda was to collect vote from you guys and funds from other countries in the name of Kashmir. It is their lollypop for you fellows that their respective parties if came in power, an ideal environment will be created where; a newly wedded couple from Lahore can drive to Srinagar for their honeymoon without a stamp on their Passport and enjoy a bite of Kashmiri Apple laying in the front deck of a Shikara in Dal Sarovar. It's All Fake, acknowledge it, and move on.

So to my Indian friends,

There was a massive inspiration for me to compose this article. It was shocking that it came from the other side of the border. In the great Indian lockdown of 2020, I who was ideally workless like many of us all, I went through many videos of this Pakistani Newsreader and Political Debate Show Host Dr. Fiza Akbar Khan on YouTube. By her venomous language, the passion for thrashing India and people over here and that high pitched voice made me think of another Indian Debate Show Host. I am convinced that they are unquestionably biologically related to each other. So I should not have a problem with her blabbering rubbish towards my Country as her Bhaiya here likewise.

But I have to admit that her language did hurt me because, unlike her Bhaiya over there who trashes Pakistan in the English language, she uses Urdu, which sounds quite similar to the Hindi language to illuminate unpleasant garbage, the reason is entirely psychological for me being hurt. For example, If somebody calls you a Motherfucker, you might not be offended in the same manner if you are called Madar***d (Pardon my Language).

This Pakistani Anchor goes on and on that How Poor, Uneducated, Physically and Mentally Weak, Shelterless, we Indians live in this Country where our economy is going into the drain. We are foolish people to elect Shri Modi as PM of our Country and that too twice. There is a vast level of discrimination on minorities over here. The world's biggest Democracy is over. In the distant future, if Kashmir is not given to them its freedom, then Islamabad will be the next capital of Pakistan and India.

Can you believe this, she has mentioned all this on her show and that too in a language which can easily pierce in our heart. Let's not get also angered about this and start calling her names. She is just doing her job. She is giving favored content to people of over there what her Bhaiya is doing over there.

As pragmatic as I can get about whatever she says on her show about us, I just can't accept it, I am too egoistic as an Indian to even reply or curse on her Video on YouTube comment section. Hence, I planned to dedicate this entire blog to Dr. Fiza Khan, whom I seriously don't mean to offend as Women, her Nation, and especially not her Religion and would like to give her some advice.

Avoid Echoing about Nukes: A round of applause towards Dr. Abdul Qadeer Khan for building Nuclear Weapons, a program from a stolen uranium centrifuge design and a network of grey-market suppliers. But stop jabbering in your show that Pakis can nuke India in case a War erupts between us. Even If Jinnah Sahab from Heaven above commands your Arm Force to it, they will effortlessly deny his orders and don't stress. We likewise won't squander our atomic weapon on you. These weapons are like those expensive Portraits which you can proudly hang in your Living Room, but can't take it out on a date. Stop even using the word Nuke in your show.

Comparison between the PMs: PM Imran Sahab seems to be a jolly good fellow who also appears to try to administrate better than any other PMs or Military leaders of your Country. Let me tell you bluntly that there is no comparison with his Counterpart over here; in fact, he even doesn't stand anywhere nearby India's previous Prime Minister.

Paki's Diplomatic Policies Debacle: This is a typical miscue. You and many colleagues of you have repeatedly misguided your Citizens that Pakistan can easily use the benefit of its diplomatic relationship with a few First World Country and pressurize India on Kashmir Issue. Well, Honey, This is an open challenge to your PM, along with Mr. Qureshi Sahab go to any so-called super Power for assistance or call end numbers of meeting in OIC ( Organisation of Islamic Cooperation ). Nobody will be ready to intervene in the Valley issue for one of the main reason, Why would any country create enmity with the Country will more than 100 Million Population which is a significant business open doors for their corporates.

Playing Second Fiddle: I initially watched your Debate show of earlier years. You always mentioned the US as your elder brother and will still stand next to you along with Saudi Arabia. These were the two countries which you saw as your personal ATM. Lately, these ATM machines stopped removing Cash and Kinds, which they earlier showered on your Country, so you bashed them and accused both these Super Power for adultery. These started leaning towards us. Then you went to China and become a Virtual Puppet who dances on their tunes. Now the problem arises that the entire world started forming against your elder brother and accused them as the creator of the Pandemic of 2020. So you began a rigid assembly against them as well, and now your nation is in an arrangement for another development with Malaysia and Turkey. Understand this dear Fiza ben that in distant future you will have to abuse these two countries also while your government will go and beg to some other countries, maybe North Korea.

Last but not least, which I have already mentioned why Kashmir will never be part of Pakistan earlier in the blog. Read repeatedly till the concept is glued by heart, and if possible, explain it to your people there.

Defense products will be purchased in the name of Kashmir. For Fiscal Year 20-21 Defense expenditure of Pakistan is 1,289 Billion Dollars. India's expenses on the same would be around 66 Billion Dollars. Can you believe these Figures? This Moolah could otherwise be used in Infrastructure and improving the lifestyle of citizens of the respective Country. Civilians and Soldiers' blood will be shed on the name of Kashmir. Approximately 120000 deaths have been registered since 1989, which also includes unsympathetic deaths of militants and terrorists. Television Media will go on with Live debates inviting aficionados and enthusiasts to increase their TRP on the name of Kashmir. Newspapers and magazines will publish viperous articles vocalizing each other's blame for being troublemakers on Kashmir's name. Many commercial Movies and Web Series will also be produced on Kashmir's name. Still, by endeavoring all means of Peace or War, this dream of some of yours will never be fulfilled.

#pakistan #kashmir #fizakhan #india

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thisissai · 5 years ago

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tue 01.28.20

last 2018, i decided myself to be officially be a part of a religion with thousands of people as witnesses. i was 18 at that moment and i know that even if my mom and most of them, are proud of me to finally able to commit myself to have that decision— i know, i just know that they are quite disappointed that it took me such a long time. I faked myself to be happy at those times, i forced myself to pay attention with all the happy and proud faces that surrounds me, with all the overwhelming congratulations and embraces i have received. i already know before october 14, 2018 that this religion is so strict, i was forced to attend each meeting since i was a child (my mom and my sister are both part of it). I grew with my future already decided- to be part of them too. I have my own future though, where I attend college, travel and have a good job that pays me enough with my services, I believe this is what my father wants me to have too. But as soon as I am almost over high school, I realize my mom and my religion’s future for me is to have a full time serving God, which means I better just not attend college and have a full time job since it will be a barrier. I dropped college, my mom and my religion are happy, I am not, my father is so disappointed. I couldn’t handle the pressure, if I could, why would I choose to not continue my studies? why would i drag myself to be part of this religion anyway? when i know to myself it won’t be easy to leave since it also means leaving everyone? where would i go anyway when i don’t have anyone left?

i would always feel like my father is mocking me when someone asks me if I go to college, he would laugh and look funny at me and tell them that i dropped my studies just ‘cause i did not like it. I love studying, it always thrills me. I can’t just forget that lesson from church that says that God give us freedom— then why God, can’t I feel any freedom? There’s no freedom at all with my life, I can’t even let myself be depressed or else they would treat myself with the Bible which I know would never heal a depressed person. I can’t even wear anything revealing, I have to stay conservative and behave like a ‘proper girl’ or else God will be insulted. silly. I can’t even curse? oh fuck that shit, am i a demon now fam?

my family teaches me all about the Bible and how to behave, but they never teach me that it’s okay to say ‘NO’, that it’s okay to follow my dreams and not theirs because this is my life, and that they’re not in control with me just cause they raised me. They did not teach me that I could choose to be happy instead of making them happy, they always makes me see that it’s not right to disappoint them. They did not teach me that my emotions are valid and that I should ask for help when I’m mentally unstable.

don’t get me wrong, but my family, they are amazing, just that there are these parts of them that had a great effect to me while i’m growing. the people from this certain religion too, they are all friendly, they would treat you like a family, it just that, I don’t believe in the shit that I have to do all these things to save myself to the judgement that will happen soon. To save, I mean, to live happily and peacefully forever. They never even asked me if I wanted to live forever, damn folks you have no idea I want to die as soon as possible.

and yes, i’m still struggling, i still have a shiny image with our religion, probably doing all these shits until i die or until i’ll go completely mad and swear or until i’ll be surprisingly rich to move to another place without worrying to be alone. i respect all these people, but i just don’t want to be part of any religion anymore. i believe that anyone could still be a good person without any help of a religion. i just hope, if you read this, and you have a child or if you’ll have a family soon, let them have the freedom to choose if they want to be part of your religion. just cause you feel blessed and happy being religious, it does not mean that your child should be too, it does not give you the right to decide for their future. i’m suffocated folks, i feel like living in cells. do you want your kids to feel like that?

(i know that there are people who are facing a much harder situation compared to mine, it makes me feel guilty for feeling this way, but i believe that i’m okay to feel this way too)

to my 40 year old self, i mean if you’re still alive and kicking, they say life starts at 40. i hope when you read this again, you’re finally free and happy.

#life sucks #thug life #i wanna d*e #i wanna kms #spilled thoughts #spilled tears #spilled ink #books and libraries #My words #My writing #spilled words #thoughts #religion #freedom #writer's corner #writing #writeaway #writers on tumblr

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