#AND WAS LIKE AH
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meta i want to write but probably won't:
chloe is very clearly meant to be the dark parallel to kirika (most evident when we see kirika in true noir mode), but altena is meant to be the dark parallel to mireille.
(and altena's relationship with chloe is meant as a warped sort of parallel to mireille's relationship with kirika. altena pretends to love chloe, but if her hate can save quote is correct, she never truly loved her and only used her as a means to an end. mireille, from the beginning, intentionally said she was using kirika as a means to an end and pretended to hate her, but ended up truly loving her.)
...i could be so much more specific in meta but idk if i actually want to. write that essay.
#musings#noir 2001#noir anime#noir#noir anime 2001#mireille bouquet#kirika yuumura#yuumura kirika#LOOK I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY#LIKE I WAS SEEING IT AGAIN WITH MY DAD#because he hadn't seen it and it's my actual favorite anime and we were looking for something new to see don't judge me#AND WAS LIKE AH#I SEE#ALTENA IS A PARALLEL TO MIREILLE#THEY ARE BOTH OBSESSED WITH REVENGE#AFTER THEIR VERY TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD#AND WILL DO A LOT OF THINGS TO GET IT#so like#it's only now that i'm like 'oh wait actually the altena-chloe relationship is just a parallel to the mireille-kirika relationship'#like i have a lot of thoughts now i'm sorry
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#sometimes i try to play high energy music for others and then theyre like wow this is so depressing#like ah…… sorry
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#text#copypasting a 21 chapter chat fic i wrote in 2018 into one big document#seeing glimpses of it#most of the time it's like. man. i did not write this#but then i see a phrase i was certain i came up with last year#and im like ah . so ive been making that joke since i was 15 ?#peer reviewed banger#rbsoff
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this is a scene from opla s2, black leg gazpacho told me himself!!!
src by @op-trash-blog-of-hell
#one piece#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#opla fanart#opla#zosan#one piece fanart#one piece live action#vinsmoke sanji#sanzo#comic#op comic#incorrect one piece quotes#did yall notice mackenyu has slight dimples. i cant stop noticing them now. 🥲💖#and taz skylar's smile... ah. 🥰🥰#anyways i saw this post and thought it was perf for opla bc zoro was like 'why are we bringing the waiter' lol#and i wanted to draw mackenyu's zoro a little bit bc he is so!! pretty!!!!!
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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i hope that sometimes fifteen's psychic paper shorts out and shows what fourteen's thinking back on earth. he tries to sneak in somewhere and the guard's like this just says 'need to pick up cat food'? and fifteen's like 🥺 they got a cat
#doctor who#the doctor#fifteen#he shows up at the noble house next day with a bunch of cat toys and 14 explains that he was just picking up food for next door#and 15's like ah. well. the thing is. i thought if you only had one cat they'd be lonely so. and pulls out a kitten#rose after 15 leaves: is this an alien cat#14: 100% yeah. don't tell donna that bit
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The squad of all time has arrived on scene.
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#Cithis Ofri#Pattadol#Fleki#Lycion#Otta#Happy Canary Debut Day! These guys wont really get to be very present until the next season of Dungeon Meshi#But I can still be excited to see them animated!!!#Shout out to Pattadol - I also tend to occupy 'The Punchline' niche of the friendgroup.#The punchline differs from 'The Jester' who willingly absorbs the jokes. The punchline is often unwillingly the joke.#You are either the one no one likes or the well beloved little-sibiling-esque friend. Good luck figuring out which!#Yes it is canon that Otta is into Women. YES she dates younger women and dumps them when they age.#This isn't a fan made bit. It's real.#Dungeon Meshi has no romance but it does have canonically queer characters.#Shipping is fine and all but it is a running theme in the series than *everyone* who expresses romantic interest in someone -#-finds that love unrequited. Just something to be mindful of to measure your expectations of this series!#Ah! In other housekeeping notes; I'm going to *try* and add Alt Text to my dungeon meshi thurday posts going forwards.#I might not be able to do it day of but I will try to get it done within a week.
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#comic#bloodborne#i loooove frenzy as a status effect from a lore perspective#dude something is so confusing and scary it hurts you#its a step above madness in er imo bc frenzy is a funnier word#madness is like ah yes the knowledge and such made you lose it but frenzy is like oh ur CRAAAAZAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!#next area i have to do is the forbidden woods where theres traps and men with rifles and dogs biting you wish me luck
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Let me show you one of my original concepts :>
Because. Why not haha👍
Characters refs Masterpost
Next
#ah wait how do I even tag non fandom stuff?#uh#marble sky#marble sky comic#or something?#art#comics#what else#aliens#lol#Idk what to put in the tags so#what are your thoughts on this thing?#I tried to post this on other website but it didn’t really gain much audience lol people was just looking and then silently leaving#I wonder if Tumblr is diffent#Tumblr seems to like aliens much more that Twitter haha
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part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.
ID by @peachygos
[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.
The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"
The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]
#nimona#nimona movie#my art#i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands#idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then#'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.'#im not an outwardly emotional person
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annabeth: percy you take anything left, i’ll take anything right
percy: oka- wait, are you wearing my jacket?
annabeth, stabbing a gorgon: …maybe
percy, slicing a serpent in half: i’ve been looking for that!
annabeth, rolling and knocking empousi off their feet and stabbing them: it’s big and warm and smells like you. i was cold and needed something to wear. so this is what i grabbed.
percy, chuckling as he strangles an ogre: i’m okay with that
annabeth, stabbing basilisks: good, because i’m keeping it
percy, smashing two cyclops faces into the floor: it looks better on you anyway
annabeth, decapitates a chimera: *winks at him*
percy, casually lighting a hydra on fire and giving her a crooked smile: you know, i was thinking for tonight-
leo, across the room covered in monster blood and fighting for his life: GUYS PLEASE-
#you know sometimes things get busy and you gotta combine flirting and fighting#there’s only so many hours in a day#also fighting comes so easy to them now that they don’t even have to think about it sometimes#whereas leo is like CAN YOU GUYS FUCKING FOCUS#ah#good times#percabeth#percy jackson#annabeth chase#leo valdez#hoo incorrect quotes#incorrect quote#pjo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#rick riordan#riordanverse
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pots n picks week day 6: bartender au
based on this wonderful fic by saeo on ao3! go support them!!
#chilshi#pots n picks#potsnpicksweek2024#dungeon meshi#my art#chilchuck tims#senshi of izganda#fanart#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi modern au#bartender au#i love how i scheduled these all for 7:30pm like i wasn’t going to get impatient and post it early. ah well.#ALSO ITS JUST HITTING THAT CHILSHI WEEK IS ALMOST OVER I COULD CRYYY
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Celebrity Lookalike
#i sound so stupid but in real life she looked way more like inuyasha than even in my art this is so dumb#ah#embarrassing#art#comics#shitpost#basically
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Right now Israel's bombing Rafah, the last refuge for a million Palestinians, where they were previously ORDERED to evacuate to and are now trapped in while the US news cycle is dominated by Big Football Game And Celebrities In Attendance (at which Israel also aired a million dollar propaganda video). I wish I could say this is unbelievable.
#two zionists lacing up their boots to take the stage while Israel is targeting mosques and areas near hospitals at the one refuge left#I actually feel like I'm going insane#and the geriatric hag at the wheel of that country who's name rhymes with snow pie den is tweeting 'ah superbowl!'#like girl get the fuck up and kill yourself first of all
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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Incredibly rude that I have to teach myself how to have positive feelings. Those neural pathways are extremely rough terrain, compared to the well-worn paths of negativity and self-loathing.
What do you mean I have to do a productive thing and coach myself on how to feel accomplished from it?
What do you mean I have to do a fun activity and forcefully allow myself to enjoy it?
What do you mean I have to do relaxing things and coax myself to actually relax?
What do you mean all this comes naturally to some people as simple cause and effect and I'm out here fighting tooth and nail to feel good???
#ok to rb#personal#my baseline existence is like#*does a Good Fun Thing* ''ah. i should be shot actually''
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