#AND THEN ep 8 comes along and we’re SILENT

[undercoverwu]

Heartstopper.

[jemmo]

the confession.

i cant remember around what ep it was that there was a lot of discourse going around about a big, blatant confession, and whether it was gonna happen, and what it was gonna be like and who was gonna confess ‘properly’ first. which is why i find it kinda funny that, after all that discussion, when i watched this scene i didn’t see it as the confession, i saw it as a confession. they have confessed time before but here is where the confession is said in its plain and simplest terms. so lets talk about it. 

after ep 5 i wrote this post about the theme of courage through the fight and rooftop scenes. so when during the big confession pran kept using the phrasing ‘be brave’ a lightbulb went off in my head. bc this scene to me is like a gift. its pran giving pat the gift of a voice, of volume, of publicity. its pran giving pat everything he couldn’t give him in that fight, the chance to say what they are. 

and what’s clear to me is that their understanding of each other has grown from that fight, bc the fundamental difference between the fight and this confession is that they’re on the same page, they both understand what the other wants and what they can give. before, pat’s courage was at odds with pran’s fear, but we’ve come so far from there. pran’s walls have slowly but surely been knocked down and in this moment, there are none left, nothing is keeping pat out any longer. and now, unlike in the fight, pran is the one asking pat to be courageous. pran’s asking pat to make their relationship known to the world. 

it might not be pran directly asking for these words, but this whole thing is staged and arranged. and pran isn’t blindsided by this, it isn’t his faculty and friends dragging both of them into this. this is something pran put in place, got his whole faculty involved, his friends and his seniors. he’s set the script in place, he wrote the words. and there’s something so perfect about the fact that when we hear these words, we aren’t looking at the guy saying them, we’re looking at pran’s face. bc pran has always been silent. he said it in ep 8, just because im not shouting from the rooftops, doesn’t mean i don’t like you. and this is both exemplified and also counteracted here. bc he is not the one doing the screaming. he’s not the one asking or replying, he is a silent party at this point, watching it all play out. and yet, the fact he organised this whole thing is him screaming from the rooftops. he’s the one that made this so, and that fact is an act of love, a statement that doesn’t need words. he’s always communicated through actions and this is no different. 

‘do you dare?’. the fact that this is said and we see such a comical face on pran says it all. bc its a joke, honestly. we all know that pat would dare. he has always been daring. he is daring in his love of pran and daring in his public display of his feelings constantly. all along he has been the one with the courage. and this is a perfect reversal of the dynamic of the fight. bc before, pat asked for courage from pran he didn’t have. but now, pran asks for courage from pat that he knows he has. there is no point to the question, its obvious, pat has always had courage to devote himself to pat. 

for the whole scene, its kinda ironic to hear these lines coming from pran. the fact that one of the first things he says is akin to ‘are you scared pat?’ is just... it makes no sense. no. pat’s not scared, he’s never been scared. pran has always been the scared one. he’s the one that ran away time after time and hid his feelings. he’s the one that was too afraid to get close. but precisely the fact he’s saying these things show how far he’s come. bc now he’s the one on top, he is the one in control. i don’t think they elevated pran on these stairs like this just to give the whole juliet’s balcony affect. i think its also to show that finally pran feels powerful. he’s gotten to a place where he is so much more sure in himself that he’s the one questioning pat, he’s the one doubting pat’s courage, not the other way around. he has chickened out many times. he chickened out of telling pat how he feels, he chickened out after the kiss, he constantly chickened out of confessing during the bet. but he’s done running scared now. he’s here saying i’m not scared anymore, are you? 

also, i’m adding this in after the fact, but while writing this i saw this gifset on my dash about the small ways pran has tried to reach out before and it was like a divine coincidence that i saw it bc look at where he is now. he’s gone from being that terrified to ask the smallest question or do the simplest thing to not confessing his love, but asking pat to confess his love. that to me is beyond him becoming strong enough to confess himself. bc the thing is he’s always been sure in his feelings, he’s had them and known about them and carried them since high school and they haven’t changed. what was the hardest for him was destroying all the lies and excuses he built in his head so that he could let himself accept the fact that pat liked him too. its more than letting himself believe, its him seeing it as a reality, an indisputable fact. and this scene shows that he’s made it. he doesn’t just accept pat’s feelings but actively asks for them, demands for pat to make them known. he’d never once, despite all the flirtatious behaviour, ever demanded pat to feel anything for him, he’d never thought of himself as that lucky or deserving. but here he is, taking pat’s love and owning it, admitting to himself that he’s worthy of it, that its real and its all for him.  

‘be brave’. he just outright asks pat to be brave for him. and i said before that this whole staged confession is like a gift to pat, bc its what he’s always wanted, for the entire world to know he belongs to pat. that he will be brave for him. and he’s been brave countless times. he was brave enough to admit his feelings first, brave enough to pursue pran when he ran away even if it meant walking into the lions den, brave enough to lose the bet and confess first. he is brave enough to love pran in the first place despite their friends and families being at each other’s throats. and thats important bc i think some of the courage pran shows here is bc his friends know about his relationship and are ok with it now. his courage doesn’t come from inside, its built up piece by piece by pat’s love and his friends acceptance. his fear is lessened bc his friends ultimately ended up supporting him and going against what he was afraid of happening, even tho it started out like that. pat tho, his bravery is innate. the whole world could be against him and he’d still be brave. and while so much of this scene opposes what happened in the fight scene, this dynamic is a perfect mirror of what happens on the rooftop, pran asking pat to be brave for him. up there, he asks him to be brave and take the first step, be the one to admit first that they’re more than friends, and he does. here, he says the words. pran, the man who has always communicated through actions, is actually saying what he means out loud. he says it with bravado and an air that this isn’t all too serious, but that’s another safety net. it’s something that’ll catch him if pat isn’t brave, bc he can pass it off as a joke. its much like the bet where he could pass off his overt flirtatious actions as plays in a game. but both then and now, we know he is being deadly serious. we know he does want pat to be brave for him, and pat would never disappoint on that front. 

and finally, finally, pat gets to say the words. the simple three words he’s always wanted to say. and i could wax poetic forever about pat being a man who sees the world so simply despite the complex nature of everything that keeps him down. but for simple pat, those clear and simple words must feel like such release. a statement he’s known is true for so long, and now, after being begged by pran and forced by the world to stay silent for so long, pran is letting him say it. no need to be silent, no need to lie, no need to call it what it isn’t. no friends, no enemies, just ‘i like you’. bc unlike pran, pat is a man of words. he communicates through words. yes, he may show his love through constant acts of service, but unlike pran who communicates through actions, pat communicates through words. he talks, he wants to talk, he needs to talk, needs to say it as it is. thats what ep 6 is all about, pat’s need for simple and clear communication. and so here, pran speaks to him on his level. this is pran coming to him, where he’s always gone to pran before. pran is using the plain and simple words so pat can too. i talked before about how, despite loving pat for so long, he’s never really known how to care for him, bc he wouldn’t let himself. it was always one sided so he didn’t need to take pat’s feelings into consideration, bc if he did, he might find more there than he can deal with. so now they’re finally together, he’s learning how to care about pat. and again, this scene shows how pran has grown in that aspect too. he’s reaching out to pat in a language he understands and inviting him do what he wants, let him be himself. and after living under pran’s rules and sacrificing himself for pran before, this switch speaks louder of pran’s love for pat than any words ever could. 

and here pran is encouraging him. say it again, say it louder, scream it from the rooftops and to everyone that will listen. for every time he’s brushed off pat’s touch in public, every time they’ve ran away to hide from someone, every time he’s told pat to stop when he was saying too much, crossing too far over the line, making it too obvious, he’s now letting pat be as loud as he wants. no more caring about the risks, no more stifling that loud and brash part of pat that makes him pat, makes pran love it. he can be his full in love and loveable self on display. they can play and goad and keep that same dynamic that’s always carried through their relationship, competition, and use it here too. pran can tease him, say ‘you think thats good enough? for me?’ bc he now knows what he deserves and what pat wants to give him and its right in front of him just ready to burst forth from this man. the loudest and proudest confession of love. and man does pat deliver. 

he claims love for pran and only pran. shouts it, screams it, let it burst out from the very core of him. and its the light in his eyes, the shine the gleam. the pure joy of being able to confess his love for all to see. its such a simple joy pat never thought he’d get but its happening right now. we all know that feeling of being in a moment you’ve always wished for but never thought would happen. when you’re in that moment and realise its happening, you’ve got everything you ever wanted, you can do the thing, it bring you such pure and unmatchable joy and i cant express it in words that’ll do that feeling justice. its euphoric. and for pran to see that, see the absolute high pat gets from loving him, that’s better from the words themselves. being shown that loving pran makes pat so happy, thats a feeling that cant be matched. bc he isnt loving pran just for pran, he’s loving pran for himself too, and as someone that loves and cares for pat, pran seeing him do this for himself is just as good as knowing just how loved he is. 

and for pran, think back to ep 6 and his big bravado claim. ‘i’ll make you get down on your knees declaring your love for me’. bc ofc pran would never make an empty claim. ofc he said that with the full intention of it happening. and dont think for one second, as well as all the mushy emotional stuff, this isn’t also pran fulfilling that exact promise. in a way, its him proving he won the bet and pat’s ‘punishment’ for losing. bc he said it himself, when pran was losing he said i’ll make you claim it in front of the whole class. and now his words are being turned on him, he’s the one confessing in front of everyone. it just so happens this is exactly what he always wanted. 

and i really love this line ‘can you hear that?’ bc all this time pat has been trying to find the right words, do the right thing that’ll make pran hear him. he cares for him, defies the world for him, kisses him, chases him, tells him he’d always lose for him, smells him, understands him, sleeps with him, cooks for him, will fight for him and get on his hands and knees for him. what is the thing that’ll make pran understand the size and extent and the power and the overwhelming nature of his love for him? and the thing is, its all of those things, they all add up, they all build, every single thing every single day is proof and reaffirmation of his love. and in this moment, its the plain and simple words. its his language. can pran hear that? he can now. bc what was holding pran back wasn’t pat not saying it right or doing it right, it was pran’s desperate need not to hear it. now he stands, defences defeated, ears open, hearing, understanding, and accepting. this is real. pat loves him and it’s all he’s ever wanted and more. they have it, its here, its now, its strong, its powerful and it’s loud and out for the world to see. 

it’s yes. he hears, he understands, he accepts. it’s a yes to everything. it’s yes you love me and a yes i love you too. and going back to what this whole thing started out as, think back to the rooftop scene. what’s the word that broke through then? no. it was pat saying no, refuting friendship, refuting enemies. it was saying what they weren’t bc they still didn’t know what they were. now its pran saying yes. its pran saying yes to boyfriends, yes to love. its pran saying everything they are bc they are no longer shaped by what they’re not but what they are. it’s not ‘just’ anything or ‘not’ anything. there’s no need for a prefix, no need for excuses or conditions. it’s just what they are. two people, in love, and the whole world knows it.  

[xoxo-teddybear]

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.9

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+, MANGA SPOILERS

Ep. Warnings: angst, cursing, minor injuries and blood, smut

Summary: It’s time for the journey back. The tension between Bakugou and Y/N is incredibly thick and while they want to speak to each other, they can’t find it in themselves to do so. The drama in between the two is ruining their chemistry and is faltering their abilities to work together and make it out of the woods alive.

A/N: weird place to put a smut in to but hey, we’re all a bunch of weirdos here ;) also it’s kinda short, Sorry! >w<

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

Bakugou was the first to wake up. He had risen from the pile of leaves still in his now dirty hero costume. His mask, that sat above his head, pushed his bangs back and exposed his puffy eyes and face. His throat was dry due to his previous sobbing and he sighed as he placed his head in his hands .

A soft breathing next to him caught his attention. You caught his attention. He watched as your chest slowly rose and fell due to your deep breaths and slumber. He took notice of your eyes that were also puffy and saw tear streaks that had dried. His lip quivered at the sight of you and on instinct, his hand went in to caress your cheek. After a moment, he remembered that it wasn’t his place to do so anymore and retracted his hand. Suddenly, the memory of your words rang through his head.

“There is no more ‘us’ anymore, Bakugou.”

It stung and he had to hold his breath for a second to fight his sobs that prayed to break through. New tears pricked at his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He shouldn’t feel this way. You were a liar. A traitor. You played him for a fool and broke his heart. He gave you his all and allowed you to hold his entire being in the palm of your hand and you completely crushed him. So why does he still love you so damn much?

He hated you. He wanted to hate you so bad. Wanted to completely forget about your existence and pretend you never mattered to him.....but he couldn’t. Not when he put his all in you. Not after you became his first time, kiss, and love. But for the sake of him and the heroes, he had to try and harden his heart from you. It was the right thing to do....right?

He let go of his breath as he turned to shake you to wake you up. “Prin- Y/N. *sigh* Y/N. Wake up.”

You began to mumble and turn in your sleep as your eyes slowly opened up to the sight of a slightly disheveled Bakugou. “C’mon Y/N, we have to go. We gotta find our way back.”

You released the adorable yawn that Bakugou always loved and sat up as you became aware of your surroundings once more. You looked towards Bakugou remembering last night and saw how he just sat up and stared ahead. “I’m surprised you didn’t just leave me behind.”

“.....Yeah well...as much as I hate your dumbass now...I still love you,” he stood and walked towards the exit, “Trust me, if I could leave you behind, I would’ve. But I can’t bring myself to do it. So hurry up and let’s get back to UA.”

You nodded your head and used your water bending to put out the fire that remained lit the whole night. You followed Bakugou out of the cave and began your journey back to UA. What a journey this’ll be.

—

You both had been walking for an hour already and you haven’t really exchanged any words. You didn’t speak on the elephant in the room and just remained silent. It was a shame that Rumor was still with Aizawa. If he was here, you both could’ve easily gotten back. You had tried Rumor’s whistle numerous times but he never showed. I guess you were too far away for it work.

What you didn’t know was that back at UA, every time you blew the whistle, Rumor fought against restraints to go out and find you. All Might and Mr. Aizawa had heard of the attack and left Rumor to Midnight who kept him under strict hold. The poor changeling fought and fought and even tried to change into multiple creatures but nothing worked.

When The two pros arrived on the battle field, they took notice of the villains and All Might was quick to disperse of them. Aizawa tended to the students as he noticed that majority of his class was knocked out and a few were seriously injured and covered in blood. Once All Might forced Kurogiri’s hand to open a portal for the villain’s leave, he tended to the other class. The retired pro bowed his head to honor the bodies of the few students who had lost their lives, and took care of the situation. Help came and the students were in the infirmary while next door, Rumor still struggled.

It wasn’t until the changeling grew feral and changed into a dinosaur, breaking the chains and roof. He was quick to transform into his giant hawk form as he flew to the skies in search of you, hoping you would blow the whistle once more so he could locate you.

—

Bakugou had been looking forward the whole time. He walked ahead of you and never once looked back to take a glance at you. He knew if he did, he would break. He had to keep going. He also had to think ahead. What was he gonna do once he got back to UA? Expose you and tell everyone the truth? Get rid of you? Let you get away with everything?.......Forgive you and let everything go back to how it was before? He didn’t know.

Behind him, a timid version of you trailed along. You kept your head down as a shadow casted over your eyes to hide your sadness. You wanted to tell him more. You wanted to tell him you didn’t want it to be this way. That you still loved him. You didn’t want to be a villain. You wanted to tell him all the shit the league put you through and why you made certain decisions. And then it clicked. Why were you so stupid? Why were you gonna let this play out like some stupid chick flick? This was real life and you were gonna be straight with him. But that wouldn’t settle your nerves.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked to the blonde in front of you. “...Katsuki? Can we talk.”

Bakugou didn’t look back. He kept his sight infront of him as he kept walking. “Unless it’s about us finding our way out of here, then no. We shouldn’t.”

“..I still have so much more to tell you.” You softly said as you played with your hands in nervousness.

“And you couldn’t tell me this back in the cave last night?” He said as he swatted away at vines and branches.

“....there was too much tension and too much going on then.” You tried to explain.

“Oh like that tension still isn’t around. And as if there isn’t already enough going on.” He countered.

“Katsuki please!” You pleaded but he was quick to shut you down again.

“Enough Y/N! There’s too much shit happening for our relationship drama! If you could even call it that anymore! I don’t even know what we are anymore!” His voice grew shaky as he continued. “I know last night you said there was no ‘us’ anymore..but I can’t help but still feel something between us. I wanna talk, but I just can’t right now! I just want us to get back safely and still alive!”

Silence once again grew at his words and you shook a bit. You couldn’t let the conversation go this way. After some time, you gathered your courage to speak but as you took a step, you realized you were too close to a ledge and fell off of it.

“Katsuki!” You screamed as you fell and Bakugou was quick to turn around. He saw you fall off the cliff and ran to you to try and grab your wrist but was too slow and missed you.

“Y/N!” He screamed as he watched you fall. It was a long drop and Bakugou tried to give you an idea. “Use your fire to make yourself fly!”

“I can’t! The trees are too close, I’ll start a forest fire!” You tried to use your air bending to slow down the fall but to no avail. The wind pressure going against you was too strong. Bakugou didn’t hesitate to dive in to save you. He jumped off the cliff and used his quirk away from the trees to fall faster to reach you. Once he did, he grabbed a hold of your body and used his quick to blast himself to the trees. The branches you both hit slowed down the impact and you both finally landed with a thud to the ground. Bakugou layed atop of you as you both held heavy breaths, adrenaline still rushing through you both.

You both remained pressed against one another as you took deep breaths. His arms wrapped around you with a hand holding your head off the ground. His head was tucked into the crook of your neck as your arms stayed curled against your chest. A minute had passed and you both caught your breaths but made no moved to get out of the position you were both in. The warmth of each other was so familiar and comforting in a tough time like this and Bakugou couldn’t even see himself pulling away any time soon. You hesitated but eventually found it in you to wrap your arms around his neck and hold him closer. You allowed silent tears to fall as Bakugou stilled at your returning touch.

“....I love you Katsuki. I still have so much more to explain and tell. I need you to understand why I did what I did. I need you to listen. .....Please.”

Bakugou thought for a moment. His head remained in its place as he took in all of you. Your touch, you warmth, you scent. He finally pulled away but not before placing a soft kiss to your cheek as he pulled away and sat on the ground infront of you. You rose up from your position and sat up, mirroring him as you stared at him, waiting for further instruction.

“....Talk.”

You chewed your bottom lip in hesitation before speaking again.

“I told you I didn’t want to come to UA. I told you I only came to prove myself to the league. And that’s because....they..hurt me.” You finally admitted. Bakugou’s eyes went wide as he looked at you. He watched you raise your arm to show a few hidden scars they’ve left behind. He’s seen them before but you’ve always passed them off as battle wounds but now he was gonna get the true stories. You explained each scar and ended it with raising your shirt and showing him the huge scar that went from your waist to your belly button. You fixed your clothing before continuing.

“I became their personal punching bag. They took me for a joke but yet they always used me on important jobs. They never took me seriously and I thought that if I infiltrated UA and actually did something, I would prove myself to them. Show them that I was more than just a doll to play around with. I guess I did meet my goal...but it wasn’t worth everything I lost. I didn’t meant to hurt you Katsuki...or anybody. I was raised to hate heroes. I was raised to think that heroes were in the wrong. I know me telling you this probably doesn’t change anything but I just had to let you know the whole thing. I just had to be sure that you know that I still love you. So much. And that everything I felt for you was true.”

Silence returned once more as you both just looked towards the ground. Bakugou had listened to every word you said.

‘She didn’t mean any of it. She loves UA. She loves us. She loves me. And she regrets her wrongs. Her mindset was so...altered but she’s changed! We could still be.....together.’ He thought to himself. A smile began to grow on him but it fell once he realized something else.

He stood on his feet as he walked towards you. You looked up at him and saw how he extended his hand to you. You took it and yelped a little when he yanked you up to your feet. To your shock, he pulled you into his chest, wrapped an arm around your waist, and delivered a passionate kiss to your lips. It had you shocked at first but you quickly melted into the kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in as his hold around your waist tightened and his free hand went to the back of your neck to press you into him. The kiss grew hungry as Bakugou nipped at your bottom lip and you gasped, allowing his tongue to taste you. You would say your tongues fought for dominance but you succumbed to his heat. He walked forward and pressed you up against a tree. Against the tree, his hands traveled around your body until they squeezed at your chest. You moaned into the kiss as his hands left to fall onto the curve of your ass. He separated from you for a second to speak.

“Jump.” Was all that he said before pressing his lips to yours once more. His tongue slid his way in as you jumped and he caught you, allowing his hands to palm at your bottom. Your hands tugged at his hair causing him to groan into your mouth as his other hand wrapped itself around your throat. He slightly squeezed at it, and the feeling had you grinding your center to his. You both moaned at the friction and Bakugou began to grind his hips up into you. Your tongues openly rolled onto each other as you shamelessly dry humped one another.

Bakugou placed you down on your feet and allowed his hands to slip into the pants of your hero costume. His hand went pass your underwear as a single digit swiped at your clit. You gasped as you spoke with hesitation.

“Katsuki..?” You said softly as Bakugou’s face was still close to your own. He pecked kisses all around your face as you said his name but he quickly replied.

“Let me...please,” you nodded in approval and Bakugou began to kiss at your neck. You tilted your head to give him more access as his finger still caressed your center. He used two pads to rub at your clit causing you to openly moan and grind your hips onto his hand. His other hand squeezed at your ass to hold you still as he entered those two fingers into you. He pumped his fingers into you as you moaned in pleasure.

“Y-yesss! Ahhh....” you cried out. Bakugou took it upon himself to add a third finger to completely stretch you and fastened his movements. He began curling his fingers, causing you to scream. “F-Fuck!”

You arched your back as Katsuki pressed his body into you. You began to feel a coil tighten in your stomach as your legs slightly shook. Bakugou could feel you tighten around his fingers and pullled out at the last second before you could cum.

“Katsu-“ Bakugou interrupted your whine with a kiss. He tongued you down as he dropped your hero pants and panties to the ground you were going to step out of them when Bakugou wrapped his arms under your legs and carried you above him. He placed your legs on his shoulders as you leaned against the tree. He licked his lips before using his tongue to lick a stripe at your glistening cunt. He growled at the sweet taste and couldn’t hold himself back as he viciously attacked your center. You moaned from atop of him as your hands found place in his blonde hair. You grabbed at his hair and pulled him in closer. He never faltered as his tongue expertly pleasured you. He sucked at your cunt as the wet sounds from it and the melodious moans you released forced his hard on to grow.

The tent in his pants became achingly painful as he grew desperate for release. Bakugou clenched his thighs in horny frustration as your own shook around his head.

“S-Suki!...M’ cumming!” You released the white honey all over Katsuki’s face as he continued to devour you. He swallowed every drop of you and used his hand to swipe at his face and swallow the rest. He kissed up your belly as he lowered you to the ground again. Once your feet hit the ground his lips met yours as he allowed you to taste yourself. Your eyes grew dazed but your hands were wide awake as they went to his pants. He never separated from your lips as he assisted you in removing his own bottoms. He member was released and you separated from Katsuki in time to watch how his length slapped against his torso. Your faces were still very close as you both looked down. Heavy and hot breaths leaving your mouths as a heat grew on both of your faces.

Bakugou began giving your face soft kisses all over as you grabbed his member in your own hands. Bakugou clearly jumped the slightest bit at your hand as it began to slowly pump his cock. He began thrusting his hips as he slightly moaned while continuing to pepper your face in kisses. He groaned when you squeezed at his shaft and he had to stop his mini pecks for a second.

“Please....” he quietly said, asking for permission. His kisses picked back up and when you nodded your head, Bakugou pressed you harder against the tree. He held one of your legs as his other hand guided his cock to your entrance. He glided it up and down your slit before slowly sinking in. The more he pressed in, the louder you both got until he completely bottomed out into you. At the feeling of being so full and deep you both released sobs of ecstasy. Both of your legs wrapped around his waist as he held you from your ass. He allowed you to adjust to his length and waited for the okay.

“Please Katsuki..please move,” you whined with a needy tone. Bakugou bit his lip and began thrusting into you at a pretty fast pace. You moaned at the way his cock glided along your walls and Bakugou mimicked the sounds you made. He gripped his hands into your ass, for sure leaving bruises.

“S-Shit baby...god, you’re so fucking tight..” he moaned into your neck. His heavy breaths grew against your neck as you scratched at his covered back.

“More..! Faster Suki!” You begged. Bakugou was happy to listen as he quickened his pace. The sound of skin slapping filled the forest and the sloppy sounds invaded your ears, causing you to clench around his shaft. Due to your tight hold, Bakugou groaned and couldn’t stop himself from going faster. He threw his head back as he moaned. He went harder, faster, and deeper as your cried out.

Bakugou looked to you and saw your fucked out face. The sight turned him on even more and he was quick to press his lips to yours. You were both moaning into the kiss as Bakugou never stopped his insatiable thrusts. Oxygen became necessary and so you both separated as Bakugou pressed his forehead to yours.

“I fucking love you..oh f-uck, understand p-princess?” His thrusts grew sloppy as a indication to show he was close to his end. “I’m not gonna s-stop loving you no matter what you f-fucking do.”

You nodded with tears in your eyes as Bakugou began to hit a sensitive spot. “R-right there Katsuki! Y-yes! Fuck me like that!”

Bakugou angled his thrusts into your sopping cunt and hit your special area. You began to moan uncontrollably as his dick was focused all on pleasing you.

Due to your head being fuzzied because of his thrusts, you didn’t even notice how his hand was active with his quirk. A heated spank reached your ass and you yelped at the sensation.

“This ass is mine,” spank, “this pussy is mine,” spank, “these lips,” spank, “those eyes,” spank, “this body,” spank, “all mine.” Spank. “You. Are. Mine.” He accentuated the last sentence with a sharp thrust to each word.

Soon enough, you felt the coil in your stomach return. Your pussy clenched around Bakugou as his thrust grew erratic.

“Fuck- you gonna cum Princess? Gonna cum for me?” You moaned a breathy, high pitched ‘yes,’ in return. His hand went right to your clit and ferociously rubbed at it. You screamed and threw your head. “Yeah..yeah just like that princess. Cum on this cock, show me who you belong to..”

At his words, you reached your climax. His hand continued to play with your center as you squirted all over his hero suit.

“Oh my god Katsuki! Fuckkk!” You cried out. Bakugou laughed at your release and the amount. He adored the way it covered his upper body and enjoyed how some reached his chin. He happily used his tongue to clean his face and smirked as he stared into your E/C eyes.

“Such a good girl...Mm fuck!” Bakugou gave his final few thrusts before he released his cum deep inside of you. The warmth filled your body and Bakugou slowly grinded into you to ride out his orgasm. He kissed you once more as you both enjoyed the feeling of him being so deep as he filled you up. The kiss was all tongue and teeth as you pressed your lips together. You both eventually pulled away with a string of saliva still connecting the both of you. You both huffed as Bakugou came in closer to you. You rested your head against his shoulder as he just remained inside of you. He held you close and kissed the crown of your head before pulling out.

He fixed his clothing and put everything back on the both of you. Once you were both fully dressed, he was quick to pull you in for a hug and you quickly returned it as he held you tight and pressed you against the tree. You both remained there in silence just embracing each other.

“.....Katsuki...Umm...what was-“

“We can’t be together...not right now at least.” He said while still holding you. When he said that, his hold just grew tighter but you pushed his chest back the slightest bit to get a look at him.

“What?” You say aloud in a breathy voice.

“There’s too much going on right now. If things were different, I’d be going through the tough time with you by my side....but we can’t be together right now. I know my feelings and you know yours..but your life still has a lot of unraveling to do dumbass. You gotta figure out what side you’re on before we can happen again. I love you Y/N. I know I do. But if you choose to be Titania...then I don’t know if we can still be together...no matter how much I love you. Do you understand?” He asked while holding the side of your cheek. You opened your mouth to say something but shut it, opting to just nod your head in understanding. However, you still had a question.

“So..what was all of this then?” You asked, referring to the heated moment you both had just shared.

“..Let’s just say we’re on a break right now. At least until you figure out who you are. Since we’re on a break, I’m marking my territory. I’m still yours. You’re still mine. Please believe I won’t be talking to anyone else or having eyes for anyone other than you...because you’re mine and I’m yours. Got that princess?” He said with a smirk.

“Got it,” you said with a small smile. Bakugou pulled you in for another hug after he kissed your forehead. You both held each other for a long time. You completely forgot you were supposed to be finding your way home. Luckily, a hawk cry was heard from afar. You both pulled away from each other while still holding onto one another as you guys looked towards the sky. There, you saw Rumor flying down to the both of you.

“It-it’s Rumor!” You said excitedly. “He found us!”

You both watched as Rumor dove to the ground and transformed into his wolf-dog form once he got close enough to the ground. You broke away from Bakugou and jogged to your animal companion. Rumor ran to you and stood on his hind legs as he jumped at you.

“You found us buddy!” You said while petting his thick coat surround his neck and chest area. Rumor whined in happiness at your reunion and Bakugou was quick to join.

“Hey,” he greeted the creature. Rumor separated from you and ran to jump on Bakugou. The blonde held his arms open but didn’t expect to be tackled to the ground. Rumor licked Katsuki’s face as Katsuki groaned in “disgust.” He pushed Rumor’s face away as you kneeled beside the two, petting Rumor. Bakugou sat up from under Rumor as he continued to pet his neck area as well.

You were rubbing at his head when you placed your forehead to your best friend’s. “That’s my good boy.”

—

You and Bakugou were now flying atop of Rumor in his flying bison form. You both sat near his horns and held onto his fur for safety. The wind was blowing through your hair and you looked around to notice the setting. The sky was blue and the sun was up. It was still midday, meaning things at UA were still pretty active. The second you and Katsuki would show up, you’d be swarmed with questions on the scene. It would give Katsuki the perfect opportunity to tell the truth.

You were so lost in thought, you didn’t even realize the said blonde was looking right at you. Admiring you for as long as he could. He knew this wasn’t the end for you both, unless you chose the dark path, but he couldn’t help but soak up all of you. You’d be around, but you’d no longer have the title of his girlfriend. He turned his head as he faced forward once more, deciding to break the silence.

“Umm...nice weather?”

You laughed a little at his awkward state. “Katsuki. Just because we’re not together anymore doesn’t mean things have to be weird. We can still talk to each other like normal.” Katsuki clearly began to relax as he placed his hands behind him and leaned back with the wind blowing in his face. A slight smile adorned his lips as he looked at you and nodded. “Besides..we’re getting close to the school, so I have to ask...are you....are you going to tell them..about...me?”

His breath got caught in his throat as his eyes bulged a bit. He stopped looking at you as he faced his hands that now sat in his legs. He visually tensed up once more and it took more than a moment before he replied.

“I....I don’t know.” You looked at him with a sad and worried look but he never returned your gaze. He took a deep breath before going on. “...I’m supposed to be a future hero Y/N..I’m supposed to do what’s right..and that would be turning you in. I don’t know if I’d be able to do that though. I love you so much...but..you’re not exactly..on the heroes side at the moment.” He said with a huff.

Silence grew and neither you or Bakugou chose to break it. You flew through the skies in a quiet pause. Nothing was going on except for Rumor bringing you back home. Your voice, your mind...they all just stopped. It wasn’t until the sight of UA came into view and a voice began to speak in your head.

‘I guess we’re about to see how this story unfolds..’

[aerynwrites]

Words Unspoken - Din Djarin x Reader

Author’s Note: Good morning everyone! I finally completed another One shot from my never shrinking list of requets 🤣. I’m planning on having at least one more out this week along with a couple other things, but I’ll make a separate post about that later today at somepoint. Any who, I hope you all enjoy it and as always i love to hear your feedback! Also! Thank you to my lovely beta readers @anniebombannie and @amberthefiredemon! They have been such a blessing to me an helped me out a ton!

Request: Can you do a Din x Armorers apprentice!Reader where they kind of have an unspoken thing going on, and in ep 8 where din comes upon the pile of armor in the tunnels, he finds readers helmet in the pile and assumes the worst, but she comes around the corner with the armorer in snazzy new armor and Din is all *heart eyes*. And Din is all “I thought I lost you” and they have this really intimate moment amongst all the chaos and they do the thing where they rest their foreheads together.? Tysm!  (requested by @emma-frxst)

Word Count: 1.8k   

Warnings: angst, fluff, death.

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You and Din had known each other your entire lives. Having grown up together as neighbors, it was inevitable that you would form a friendship as children. However, this also meant that you were together the day your village was attacked. Your parents had immediately scooped you up from your bedroom and ran frantically from the house to meet up with Din’s parents and tried to escape the droid attack in vain. Your parents had died that day, and the Mandalorians had taken both you and Din in as foundlings. 

You both began your journey to become Mandalorians together. You ate together, trained together, took the creed together, and even cried together when the nightmares plagued your sleep. And as the years went on, this bond turned into more, and you both found yourselves falling hard for one another. Although you never outwardly told one another how you felt, you both knew. And even though you had not physically seen one another in decades, you could still feel the connection you had. However, when it came time to choose your paths in the covert, fate pulled you each in different directions. 

You knew Din was a fighter. A warrior. And while you could fight well, you felt a calling to work with your hands and help in other ways. So, you chose the path of becoming the Armorer’s apprentice. 

She had taken you on happily, stating “It’s nice to have someone who understands they can help in other ways than brute force.”

However, these different paths meant that you and Din rarely saw each other, and when you did it was in fleeting touches and soft words spoken in the few moments you had together. It killed you two. And that’s how you ended up standing in front of Din in your small quarters within the covert six months ago, as he told you of his plan to rescue the asset he had turned over earlier that day.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, gloved hands rubbing together anxiously, avoiding the unmoving gaze of the beskar helmet in front of you, “I’m sorry I can’t be there to help you.”

Din shook his head taking your hands in his own, “We can’t change the path that we’re destined for,” he reassures.

You just shrug your shoulders, “I know but-“ you pause steadying your shaking voice before continuing, “I’m just scared of what will happen to you. I never know if you’re okay until you walk back through that door,” you whimper.

You hear the man in front of you let out a quiet scoff, “Don’t be stupid. You can’t get rid of me that easily,” he jokes.

You let out a quiet laugh before looking over his new beskar armor, a reward for the very bounty he was going to take back, a reward you helped create, and you lean your head forward, relishing in the soft clink of metal against metal as Din lets his forehead meet yours. A Mandalorian kiss. 

“Just be safe, okay?” you ask quietly, hands squeezing his softly, “I don’t know what I’d do if you don’t come back.”

Din lets out  soft sigh before pulling away from you reluctantly, hands coming to rest on the sides of your helmet, “I’ll come back as soon as I can. I promise.”

But that memory felt like years ago as Din lies dying on the destroyed floor of the Nevarro cantina. That had been the last time he had seen you before he had saved the child and was forced to leave Nevarro, forced to leave you and break the promise he had given you all those months ago. He hadn’t heard your voice or seen you since that last conversation…hell, he didn’t even know if you were alive. That thought alone stirred fears and regrets inside of Din that he hadn’t even realized were there. He was full of regrets as him and his small team of friends laid pinned down in the destroyed cantina. He had told them to flee, sure that he was going to die. Cara and Greef reluctantly agreed, taking the child and leaving him with the reprogrammed droid and his own regrets. 

Those regrets being unspoken words and abandoned touches. He had never told you how much he loved you. He had planned to when they made it back to the covert, but now he didn’t know if that would happen. The next few moments pass in a blur. Him threatening the droid, removing his helmet, the droid healing him instead of hurting him -  It was all too much for his injury muddled brain to handle. Too many emotions and too many things happening all at once. He felt his heart pund against his ribcage as they finally caught up with Cara a Greef and began naviagting the damp, dingy tunnels leading to the covert

Would anyone still be here? Would you still be here? How would you react, did you think he was dead?

Even as his head began to clear of physical pain, it was still clouded by an emotional fog. He hadn’t seen you in so long and his heart clenched at the idea of finally being with you again. When the small group round a corner however, he almost stopped in his tracks at the sight before him. 

Mandalorian helmets.

A huge pile of them, all discarded and broken as they had been tossed aside after their owners were no doubt slain by the very people hunting him down. He continued to approach slowly, turning the light on his helmet off as he finally came within reach of the eldritch pile. His comrades were silent, no doubt feeling great sympathy for their friend. But as he scanned over the empty visors in front of him, he felt his breath being sucked from his lungs as his eyes  landed on an all too familiar gold colored helmet. 

Your helmet.

He knelt down, more because his knees collapsed beneath him at the weight of the situation more than anything, and he grasped your empty helmet in his hands, gripping desperately at the sides as tears of anger and confusion burned at his eyes. 

You were gone. Wiped out with the rest of the clan like roaches under the imperial boot. Snuffed out as easily as a candle, like you didn’t exist at all. 

But you did exist.

You existed in a happy and joyful life despite everything you had been through. You existed in Din’s bleak world as a light guiding him to shore to keep him from being sucked under the dark and dismal waves of his everyday life. You existed to him, and now, you were gone…taking a piece of the Mandalorian with you, and in that newly emptied space, Din’s entire soul was flooded with rage as he stared into your shattered and empty visor.

Cara took a cautious step forward, “We should go,” she says quietly.

“You go,” Din said firmly, “Take the ship. I can’t leave it-“ he had to stop himself, swallowing past the lump in his throat, ��I can’t leave it like this.”

He pauses for a moment, before standing up abruptly turning on Greef with your helmet still held firmly in his hand, “Did you know about this?” he ignores Greef’s look of surprise and continues, “Was this the work of your bounty hunters?” he seethes, anger and grief lacing his words as he held onto your helmet like a lifeline.

Greef splutters, “No. When you left the system and took the prize, the fighting ended and the hunters just melted away,” he defended, “You know how it is. They’re mercenaries. They’re not Zealots!”

Din took several threatening steps forwards, and he felt the tears leaking from his eyes now as he still gripped the metal helmet in his hand with such force he worried he might break it.

“Did you do this?” he demanded, “Did you?” he was yelling now, his emotions getting the better of him for once.

“It was not his fault.” An all too familiar voice speaks through the darkness and causes a brief flicker of relief to flash through Din’s heart as the Armorer speaks.

“We revealed ourselves,” she says walking out of a nearby door to fiddle with a few discarded metal pieces, “We knew what could happen if we left the covert.”

Din watches her every move, not because he is afraid of her, but simply because he is waiting for you to come out behind her, a hope he knows is in vain. 

She continues, “The imperials arrived shortly thereafter…this is what resulted,” she states, a certain sadness in her voice. 

Din glances from your helmet in his hand then back to the armorer, “Did…any survive?”

The armorer seemed to understand the hidden meaning behind Din’s question, and he saw her move to answer but a set of approaching footsteps from the door she came from interrupted her.

“Who are you talking too?” 

Din feels the blood in his veins turn to stone as he hears a familiar and sweet voice meet his ears and you emerge into the tunnels. He noticed that a new set of armor replaced your old set as you stopped in your tracks and your gaze fell onto the group in front of you. You dropped the tools in your hands as your eyes fell onto Din’s form, the all to familiar beskar glinting in the low light. 

“Din?” you whisper, not believing that he was here, in front of you, after all these months. 

A loud metallic thunk is followed shortly after as Din drops your old helmet onto the concrete floor and runs to you, arms wrapping around you so tightly the air is pulled from your lungs. You feel tears fill your vision and fall down your cheeks under the helmet as you return his embrace, all your subdued fears and anxieties melting away as he held you in his arms once more.

“I saw your helmet and I thought-“ his voice cracked slightly as he spoke but he continued, “I thought I had lost you cyar'ika,” his voice was low and wet with his own tears as he spoke. 

You let out a soft chuckle past your tears as you pull away from the embrace, opting instead to rest your forehead gently against his own in a familiar gesture. 

“You can’t get rid of me that easy,” you say quietly, moving to intertwine your gloved fingers with his own, “Plus you had a promise to keep.”

Din smiled under his helmet and relaxed into you, his helmet leaning more heavily on yours as his hands squeezed yours firmly, “Yes, I did, and I came back, just like I said I would.”

You saw the other members of his group and the armorer move into the room behind you to give you some privacy, and you took this moment to pull away from Din minutely, hands still intertwined as you looked into his visor through your own. 

“I love you Din Djarin.”

Din doesn’t reply, he just pulls you into another tight embrace and leans his forehead against yours once more, letting out a quiet and relieved sigh. 

And even though he doesn’t say the words back, you know he loves you more than words could ever express.

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Mando Tag: @tryn25 @igotmadskills @dizzydazed @theforceofdisney @jeepangel @maryan028 @mandalorian-theway

Pedro Character’s Tag: @fleurdemiel145 @sargesbestgirl @lustriix @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii @longitud-de-onda

Permanent: @lord-wolfgen @petalduck @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @stillreadingfantasy

[emisfritish]

Our gift to the world - Episode 7

Summary: Episode codas of an established Pang/Wave in The Gifted Graduation. Episode 7- Aftermath of the fight between Pang and Wave, a discussion between two broken boys. 

Notes :  It has been... a while, to say the least. In my defense, I kind of needed to know what they had planned for these two for the rest of the season if I wanted to keep these stories as close to canon as possible, so here I am ! Working plan right now, is posting the stories for all remaining episodes this week so I can be up to date with the finale on Sunday, and write either a nice continuation, or a nice fix-it depending on what they give us ;) 

This is set after the fight Pang/Wave have, but before Pang is called away to go and meet the director. 

Previous parts : Ep.1 /  Ep.2 / Ep.3 / Ep.4 / Ep.5 / Ep.6

Next parts : Ep.8 

Series on Ao3 here.

- 

As Pang is walking towards Wave’s dorm room, he feels the weight that’s been sitting on his shoulders for the past couple of weeks getting heavier and heavier the closer he is. 

After losing Time, after Korn’s injury, after isolating himself from his friends and after his boyfriend refusing to talk to him… He didn’t think his life could get any worse than it had been for the past couple of weeks. Yet after the fight him and Wave had yesterday, he knows that his assumption was wrong. Of course things could get worse. 

He’s not sure he’s ready to face Wave yet, after everything they told each other yesterday, but it is precisely because of their fight and of the things Wave told him, that he knows he needs to. Things between them have been a mess for weeks, but he knows he needs to see his boyfriend so they can start mending the pieces of their relationship. 

As Pang is walking to the room, he rehearses the speech he’s prepared and everything he wants to tell his boyfriend. He’s not sure that Wave will want to see him, but hopefully the excuse about needing to recuperate one of his school books that’s been left in Wave’s dorm room for weeks now will be enough to get him through the door, at least. 

Thinking about it, he can’t believe that things have actually come to that between them, with him needing an excuse to come and see his boyfriend. But well… He knows he’s partly to blame for the situation. 

Although it’s true that Wave had given him the cold shoulder for the past couple of weeks by ignoring his texts and his calls, which they definitely need to talk about, Pang is aware he’s not blameless in their situation. Wave had ignored him, that much is true, but he hadn’t made any particular effort to actually try to talk to Wave face to face either, too lost in his sadness and anger at the other boy for ignoring him for so long.

After their fight yesterday and the things Wave had said… Well. Let’s just say Pang is only now starting to realize how much he’s actually hurt his boyfriend, and he hates it. 

‘I can’t help but wonder if you think I’m your boyfriend, or just your tool.’

The words have been resonating in Pang’s mind since yesterday, and he can’t think of anything else. Is that what Wave truly believes ? How he truly sees them ?

He’s always hated everyone who’s hurt Wave in the past, who made him feel like he wasn’t enough, wasn’t loved. The people who are responsible for the trust issues that Wave still carries to this day. And now, Pang has somehow become of them, and the thought makes him sick. 

When he finally reaches Wave’s dorm room, Pang has no idea what awaits him inside, but he knows he can’t simply let this go. Although he doesn’t think he can take another hit right now, not after everything that’s happened in the past couple of weeks… He can’t let Wave go longer believing those things about their relationship and what he means to him either. He needs to talk to his boyfriend. 

Taking a deep breath to settle himself, Pang finally forces himself to knock on the door, before pushing it open when he hears Wave’s call to come in. He finds his boyfriend staring at him coldly from where he is seated at his desk, a carefully put-together blank expression covering his face. 

He feels Wave’s eyes move along his shoulders and chest briefly, a look Pang doesn’t recognize flashing across his face as they do, before he carefully puts his nonchalant look back in place. 

Frowning, Pang looks down at himself, before suddenly realizing what he’s wearing and what the look meant. 

Wave’s red jacket. 

He hasn’t done it on purpose, and it wasn’t a conscious move to try and sway Wave, or whatever thought might be crossing his boyfriend’s mind right now. It had just been a reflex to pull it on earlier, the jacket being his go to item when Pang wants to feel safer. He hadn’t even thought about what wearing it today could mean.

For the past couple of weeks, with everything falling apart around him, the jacket has brought a small amount of comfort, reminding him that even if Wave and him weren’t talking right now, he wasn’t alone in the world. That he had someone in his corner. 

He wonders if that’s still the case. 

Pang braces himself for Wave demanding the jacket back, half expecting it after the fight they had yesterday, but his boyfriend stays silent on the matter, prompting Pang’s small sigh of relief. 

“What are you doing here ?” Wave finally asks coldly, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“I…” he starts answering, before completely losing track of everything he had planned to say while walking over to the room. “I forgot one of my school books in your room and I need it for class.”

Wave keeps staring at him silently, though Pang thinks he sees disappointment cross his face, although the look is gone too quickly for him to be certain about anything. 

“It’s right there. You can take it and go,” Wave tells him, indicating where the book is laying on the desk with a short movement of his head, before he turns back towards his computer, completely ignoring Pang.

Pang feels his throat close up at how easily his boyfriend is dismissing him, causing hurt and anger to well up in his chest. 

God, this can’t be it. They can’t be ending, not like this. 

“Listen Wave…,” he starts saying, trying to recall everything he had meant to say to his boyfriend earlier. “I should have apologized to you earlier and made more of an effort to speak to you. I don’t see you as a to..”

“You should have,” his boyfriend states, cutting him off mid-sentence. “But frankly, we’re way past that point now Pang,” he finishes saying coldly, and Pang can’t stop the anger that the words ignite in him. 

How is it so easy for Wave to dismiss him ? To dismiss them, and everything they’ve been through over the years ?

“So that’s it then ?” he asks bitterly, trying to hold back the words but not able to contain them with the anger swimming in his chest. “We had a fight and I messed up, and you’re just never going to talk to me again ? I said I was sorry, why can’t you believe me ?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say Pang,” his boyfriend responds coldly, not even turning towards him to say the words. 

“I want you to talk to me ! I want you to try and fix this with me !” Pang anguishes, and although he sees his boyfriend’s shoulder tensing, he doesn’t turn around to look at him and keeps silent. 

“Wave if you hate me this much, why did you even bother to help me that night ? Why did you come and comfort me instead of leaving me alone, if this is how you really feel ?” Pang asks, emotion making his voice crack and tears welling up in his eyes. 

The words prompt his boyfriend to turn around and look at him in disbelief. 

“Because I love you, stupid !” Wave shouts in answer, his mask of indifference finally falling, letting the hurt and anguish he’s feeling apparent for the first time since Pang entered the room. “Trust me, sometimes I think things would be a lot easier if I did hate you. But I love you.  And right now, loving you hurts.”

The words cut deep, and Pang feels the tears that had been pooling in his eyes finally drop against his cheeks. If you had told him that hearing Wave say he loves him would one day cause him so much pain, Pang would have never believed it. Still, hearing the words his boyfriend rarely says out loud coming out of his mouth under those circumstances breaks his heart. 

When Pang looks up towards Wave, he sees silent tears gather up in his eyes. The urge to move forward and comfort him is so strong, Pang crosses his arms against his chest to stop himself from reaching for him, knowing his touch wouldn’t be welcome right now. 

“Wave,” he starts saying in a small voice, the depth of the hurt they’ve both caused each other with their fight becoming clearer. 

“I just… I just can’t right now, Pang. I can’t talk about this. Not now,” Wave announces defeated, and Pang’s head drops, not able to look into Wave’s eyes right this moment.

He knows that he should give his boyfriend some space, knows Wave well enough to know that he needs time to process everything before they can mend this, but everything hurts right now, and he doesn’t know how to deal with the pain alone anymore. 

“Wave… We love each other. Please don’t end this,” he says brokenly, the words barely a whisper, and he sees Wave’s hands twitch from where they are at his sides, like he himself is having trouble stopping himself from reaching forward to hold and comfort Pang. 

“I’m not,” Wave says, a small wave of relief rushing through Pang before his boyfriend continues speaking. “But I can’t talk more tonight Pang. I love you but right now, I don’t really like you.”

Once again, the words cut deep and Pang feels his breath catch in his throat. He knows that Wave didn’t say it to hurt him, that his boyfriend is just being brutally honest as he usually is when conveying his feelings, and that somehow makes it worse. The words themselves hurt of course, but what hurts more is knowing that if Wave said them right now, it’s because he actually means them. 

At this moment, he truly doesn’t like Pang, and that’s one of the worst feelings. 

Defeated and recognizing that there is little chance of them going anywhere tonight, Pang finally nods in silence, before he turns around and makes his way to the door. 

Just as he’s reaching for the doorknob, Wave calls his name and Pang stops in his tracks, turning around to face his boyfriend. 

“I’m sorry about bringing up Nac and throwing him in your face yesterday,” Wave says, avoiding his eyes. “I know that’s not what happened with him, and it wasn’t fair of me.”

Wave still can’t look at him, and Pang feels tears well up in his eyes once again at that fact, but he shakes his head. 

The comment about Nac had hurt, it’s true, but not as much as Wave telling him he thought Pang saw him as insignificant and as a tool to be used. And definitely nowhere near as much as the thought of him and Wave being done for good, which is what’s been running through his head since the beginning of this conversation. 

“This isn’t the end, right Wave ?” he asks softly, feeling smaller than he has in years. Their relationship is such that Pang is often the one reassuring an insecure Wave, and for the first time, Pang understands what Wave must have felt all those times he feared Pang might be done with them. He hates the feeling.

Wave smiles at him sadly, finally looking up towards him, and Pang feels his heart clench in his chest. 

“I think we both need some time to get our heads on straight. We’ll talk later,” his boyfriend finally responds. 

It’s not an answer in itself and Pang is fully aware of it, but he doesn’t press the issue. He doesn’t think he could actually bear hearing Wave say that they’re done anyway, not on top of everything that’s happened in the past couple of weeks. 

With one final nod, he reaches for the doorknob and leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind him, before he slides down on the floor, utterly defeated. 

Small tears are running down his cheeks again, and Pang lifts one of his arms to wipe them away with the sleeve of his jacket, the burgundy red catching his eyes.

Wave hadn’t asked for his jacket back.

And just like that, the weight crushing Pang gets a tiny bit lighter. 

They’re far from okay right now, and Pang knows that very well. But his boyfriend hadn’t asked him to return the jacket either, and knowing how important it is to Wave, that has to count for something. 

It’s really not much, but it’s a sliver of hope that Pang can hold onto.

He doesn’t know what awaits him and Wave in the future, and he doesn’t know how they’ll fix this and get past everything, but the jacket is a small sign that Wave hasn’t given up on them either, and that’s all Pang needs right now.

The thought is enough for him to get up from the floor, and start walking back towards his own dorm. 

Things are a mess right now and so many discussions will be needed to fix things and to repair the trust they have in each other, but Pang has to believe they’ll manage. 

Him and Wave have always made the best team in everything, and he refuses to let go of that. 

Not now, not ever. 

[mae-gi-writes]

Deobi Playlist (EP 3) | The Boyz Imagine

Ep 3: In which Juyeon has a complicated relationship with food. 

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Main Characters: Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz.

Genre: fluff, slice of life, comedy, BROMANCE BRUH

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

-----------

“Did you eat?” 

Juyeon looks up from his monitor with bleary eyes, rubbing the sleep away when he spots Kevin leaning against the white office door with two bowls of instant noodles. 

He shakes his head, “not yet. Wanted to finish this report first.” 

Tutting like a mother hen, Kevin closes the door behind him and turns on the electric kettle set atop the fridge separating Juyeon and Hyunjae’s desks. The office is cramped and filled with so many documents that one can barely see past the messy pile of papers surrounding the pair, but while Kevin continuously nags the two to get it together and that organization is a charm in itself, Hyunjae is by no means, someone who takes orders the right way. He has the tendency to do the polar opposite. 

Pushing some papers to the side to crack open the bowl’s lids, he asks, “you’re not dieting again, are you?” 

“What?” Juyeon frowns, glancing back at the older man, “no, I don’t even have time to think about that.” 

“That’s exactly what you said back then too,” Kevin replies with a pointed look. He grabs the kettle from the stand to pour the hot water over the dried noodles, swirling it around so that an equal layer of steam rises from the bowl and causes Juyeon’s nostrils to twitch with temptation. He sighs in resignation, before pushing himself up from his office chair to join the raven-haired doctor on the tiny couch cramped in the middle of their space. It had once been Hyunjae’s brilliant idea, suggesting that it could be a way for them to have a quick snooze in-between shifts. 

It is sad to say that Juyeon has never slept on this couch, not because he never had the chance, but he finds it harder to ignore work if he’s just sitting in the same room, breathing in the same air as his responsibilities. 

When Kevin pushes one of the bowls towards Juyeon, he breathes in the scent of fake chicken flavour, memories hitting him like a ton of bricks whenever he eats those kinds of junk food. It reminds him of his past, of how he’d gorge himself with sweet treats in order to fill that growing emptiness inside his stomach, the sickening guilt that curled up inside him like an unwanted creature as an unsteady ache would settle over his stomach. He remembers how he’d force himself to throw up, shoving two fingers down his throat as a way to alleviate his efforts. Again and again, that cycle had continued for more than six months, and no one had ever bothered noticing. 

The thing with Juyeon is that, underneath that shy and quirky exterior, is a man filled with self-doubt. Having been raised to always do better than his older siblings, Juyeon always felt inferior in comparison to the academic achievements of his sister, or the social prowess and the easy-goingly fluid charisma that oozed off his older brother. But Juyeon wasn’t skilled at academics, he hated learning and studying in general, and since he had the confidence of a goldfish out of water the moment he felt people’s eyes on him, it had been safe to claim that he had not inherited any of his brother’s charisma either. 

“I wouldn’t go there, Kevin,” Juyeon murmurs when he notices the worry in his friend’s almond eyes, creases appearing like permanent lines scrunching up in the middle of his brows, “not after…” 

He allows the words to hang in the air, not really sure whether voicing them out loud will make things better or worse. 

“I know,” Kevin says after a moment, but Juyeon notices the tension in his shoulders, the way his knuckles seem to protrude as he holds on to his spoon in a death grip, “I just--I don’t want to see you like that again. It--It almost killed me.” 

“Oh don’t be ridiculous.” 

“I’m not,” Kevin’s eyes settle over his, hard and fiery with a determined light, “I’m not being ridiculous. You would-ve--You would’ve--” stumbling over his words, he swallows thickly and continues, “you would’ve died. If...If I hadn’t found out.” 

“And you did, and now this is all in the past,” Juyeon nudges his knee as a sign of affection, “I’m alright, okay? I promise.” 

“You better damn well keep that promise.” 

Juyeon knows without a doubt, that Kevin’s concern stems from that very first moment they started talking; when Kevin found him half-passed out from another vomiting spell, chest heaving and gasping like he’d just run a marathon, and blood dribbling down his mouth because he’d hurt himself trying to stuff his fist down his throat. 

Being only sixteen at the time had caused Kevin to burst into an outright bout of panic. He had dropped to Juyeon’s side without any second thought before shaking the half-dazed boy out of his spell. 

“Hey, hey are you okay? Can you hear me?” he spotted the blood coating the side of Juyeon’s mouth, “oh my god.” 

He quickly ripped some tissue paper, and dabbed at his face while his other hand checked for a pulse, relieved to notice that it was there, albeit its weakness. 

Juyeon had tried shrugging him off, “I’m alright,” his murmur barely made it out of his lips, “just--leave me alone.” 

“And what? See you die?” Kevin was already pulling him up by the arm, “no. We’re going to the nurses’ office. Now.” 

Which was how the two found themselves in the nurse’s office where Juyeon was diagnosed as anorexic. Not that it was surprising, for the latter had known that his symptoms weren’t normal, had looked up his tendencies to realize that they were definitely not normal human behaviour. Not only was it embarrassing for a full-grown man to have issues concerning food, but the fact that Kevin had found him -- and mind, Kevin at that time had been what all the boys had wished to be; the smart, foreign student who aced all his classes and who was charmingly attractive without even the slightest smidge of effort -- made Juyeon’s issues even more embarrassing. 

He’d swivelled around to face the said man the moment they had stumbled out into the hallway. 

“Please,” Juyeon’s voice had broken with emotion,his stomach tight and coiled with apprehension, “please don’t tell anyone about this, they’ll all make fun of it, they will think I’m crazy and--” 

“I won’t tell them.” 

Juyeon’s eyes shot up to meet Kevin’s. His face was soft and open, understanding glimmering through those almond orbs that usually seem so reserved, and Juyeon’s mouth ran dry as the meaningless excuses slowly died at the back of his throat. The only thing he managed to muster out was a soft, “t-thank you,” when really, there had been so many more things he’d wished to say. But Kevin, bless his soul, had merely smiled back. 

From that moment onwards, they had come to a silent agreement of acknowledging each other. It started off with small nods and quick smiles in-between classes, progressing slowly into verbal greeting and casual ‘how are you’s’ whenever they bumped into each other outside their circle of friends. Every time that happened, Kevin ensured that he was doing fine, that he was making time to see a Nutritionist and a Psychiatrist at least once a week, and though it shouldn’t have mattered what Kevin thought when it came to Juyeon’s personal life, his chest had glowed with happiness when catching sight of the pride radiating off Kevin’s face. It was then that Juyeon realized that Kevin, despite not even being his close friend, knew so much more about him that he could imagine.

Kevin, the foreigner, the one who’d suffered through countless judgements and mindless criticism because he came from the other end of the world and wasn’t initially fluent in their language, Kevin who had never even spoken a word to him...Kevin had saved him. 

And Juyeon would forever be grateful. 

“Hey Kevin,” Juyeon glances over at the said man as they slurp their noodles, “thanks, by the way.”

He notices Kevin’s confusion, but adamantly keeps his focus on the now soggy noodles floating in his container, “for what?” 

“For saving me.” 

“Oh come on,” Kevin groans and Juyeon can’t help the smile crawling up his face, “if you’re so thankful, how about shadowing me next time?” 

“I told you I’m not good with kids.” 

“That’s what shadowing is all about.” 

“Uhm, no I’ll pass thanks.” 

Kevin pouts, “I saved your life.” 

“You can’t use that against me. Besides, me being there will only traumatise the children in the ward.” 

Kevin lets out a loud sigh, muttering something along the lines that it is so hard to get young doctor interns to get interested in jobs like pediatricians when there are so many other possibilities like neurosurgery. No wonder Hyunjae has no issues and is practically veneered by all. 

“Fine. You win,” Kevin mutters while throwing him the scariest glare he can muster up. Unfortunately for him, he looks more like a kitten than a tiger, and Juyeon snorts with laughter at his friend’s attempt to look threatening. 

“I love you man,” Juyeon grins. 

“I love you too. But please clean your office more often.”

[multimetaverse]

DOAFP 1x08 Review

Matters of Diplomacy was a great and dramatic ep that exploded the tensions at the core of the show’s story lines. Let’s dig in!

It was a wise choice for ep 8 to be just a day later than ep 7 in universe as it allows the momentum and tensions built in ep 7 to carry forward to ep 8. We see different types of relationships being tested tonight: the platonic friendship between Elena and Sasha, the crush/platonic friendship between Bobby and Liam, and the romantic relationship between Gabi and Sam

Bobby’s story line took big strides forward tonight. I think by the end of this ep even the most casual of viewers will have clued in that Bobby is gay and likes Liam; nothing has technically been said aloud but that kind of jealousy is unmistakable. Bobby and Gabi’s story lines share some parallels tonight as it was Bobby and Gabi who made sure that Liam and Sam would be at the dance and the dinner and it was Bobby and Gabi who mess things up

For Bobby it has been all of a day since he had a moment with Liam and he’s still giddy over the tennis ball trophy Liam gave him and Elena’s talk about the dance being where true feelings are revealed clearly got him hoping that if he and Liam went to the dance that something may happen. And that talk with the married gay hairdresser gave him a bit of a confidence boost

Among the many cool things this show has done so far is to feature both adult and kid lgbtq characters and actually have them interact like we saw with Cami and Bobby in ep 7 and Bobby and the hairdresser in ep 8. It’s nice that Bobby has these in universe role models and if the show goes on long enough I’d expect Cami to help Bobby

I was shocked that Bobby lashing out included an actual physical fight. In many ways though it is true to the teenage experience where wild mood swings and poor decision making skills are common. We’ve seen Bobby get frustrated or upset before but never this angry and for such a chill guy as Bobby to get so aggressive really shows the depths of his feelings and confusion and disappointment

I also want to commend the show for writing Bobby as such an active character and for giving him an established hobby and supporting characters dedicated to his story line. On Andi Mack we saw Cyrus get jealous but he was never allowed to act on that jealousy like Bobby does and he was certainly never allowed to get angry even when it would have been the realistic response and he was usually a passive character. The fatal flaw in Cyrus’ story line was that he was never given a hobby or team or club of his own so when his sexuality story line was being heavily censored or when the writers were screwing things up there was nothing to fall back on. At least with Bobby they can always fall back on tennis related plots if things go downhill and that will make a world of difference in making Bobby seem like an actual main character

I’ve said from the start that I don’t think Cartero is mutual and the dance did nothing to change that. The symbolism of Liam not wanting to stop slow dancing with a girl and go off with Bobby isn’t subtle. Certainly Bobby’s anger was caused in part by being hit in the face with the fact that Liam is straight. I’ve been surprised that so many people in this fandom who have come from the Andi Mack fandom have been comparing Cartero and Tyrus when all the evidence points to Cartero being the Jyrus of doafp. As I said in an ask last week, the dance serves the same function for Bobby as seeing Jonah ask Andi out at the Space Otters dinner served for Cyrus

I think for doafp it would be wise to separate Bobby’s sexuality story line from his ship story line in any analysis of the show. Cyrus’ sexuality story line was much less censored than his ship story line with TJ and in part that’s because Disney had less of a problem showing Cyrus with a hopeless crush on a clearly straight boy then they did with showing him with a requited crush on another gay kid. And of course there was never any problem showing Cyrus dating Iris. There’s a reason why Cyrus could talk about his crush on Jonah several times but never once got to talk about his crush on TJ and why Cyrus could say the word gay when coming out to Jonah but Cyrus and TJ had to have a silent handhold when they came out to each other. I expect Bobby coming out to his friends and family and using the word gay will be much less censored and drawn out then it was on Andi Mack but I think Bobby actually dating a boy is going to be much harder for the show to depict if they’re renewed. Hell even Seblos which is the only canon gay ship on Disney + has had several of their scenes cut in two different eps

There’s a saying that history doesn’t repeat but it does rhyme and I can only hope that Brandon Severs Jr doesn’t become the Joshua Rush of the doafp fandom. It’s great that he ships Cartero and wants to promote the show but he’s not just another fan and can’t act like one. In the Andi Mack fandom there were lines being blurred and crossed by actors and writers and it made things messy and unpleasant and I really don’t want to see that happen with doafp. I’m sure Brandon means well but people will take his tweets and likes as hints for the show’s future and as of now the show itself and his tweets are telling very different stories It’s one thing to support Cartero but so far there’s no evidence that Liam is gay and there’s never been a bisexual character on Disney before so unless ep 10, which is the only Liam ep left, has an unprecedented twist all this hyping he’s doing will end up being somewhat baity

I’m glad Sasha stood up to Elena who has really been a bad friend to her lately. Of all the relationships that took a hit this ep it’s Elena and Sasha’s friendship that has been around the longest which makes this fight all the more painful to witness. It looks like this conflict will play out through their school trip to Tallahassee and I hope Elena really makes it up to Sasha somehow. Also interesting to see Jessica back in the mix; she’s making up with Sasha but not Elena while at the same time not having atoned for her ditching them in the first place. As always it’s refreshing to see this show so openly tackle the reality of puberty and not shy away from discussing periods and body hair 

Gabi and Sam truly are hetero goals. I like the focus on the adult problems we’re getting on the show. In some ways their conflict has the highest stakes and there’s not going to be an easy solution moving forward. For Gabi this must be a nightmare of sorts, watching Sam play the same role Robert did and worrying that it might end the same way. Sam was right in saying that he’s been going along with what Gabi wanted but that he’s a part of this relationship as well. We know Gabi flees Miami next week and drives Elena to Tallahassee so we’ll see if she decides that she’s ready to try and move forward with Sam or if she’s not ready

We learned tonight that Elena and Bobby don’t speak Spanish which suggests that Robert didn’t speak it either. We also learn that Robert was shyer than Sam (and I guess Bobby is named after Robert). Also get a nice little continuity nod with Francisca believing the same story about Iguanas in toilets that Liam’s grandmother believed 

I really like that Disney + lets characters get away with saying what the hell and pissed off, it’s so much more natural than having kids with squeaky clean vocabs

I really enjoy seeing Elena pine after Joey when he’s just this dweeby kid

Elena and Bobby have such a true to life sibling relationship

The Beluga whale song prank was a good one imo

Looking Ahead:

If you’re on twitter and instagram there’s already a campaign to get the show renewed and might as well start it now when there’s still some hope

Monyca seems to have clued in that Bobby cares more about Liam than her and I hope she dumps him. Setting aside his sexuality, Bobby just hasn’t been a very good boyfriend

Looks like the last two eps take places in a fairly short span as Elena is on the school trip for both eps. I’m very excited to see how all these plots resolve, especially Bobby’s. Hopefully the show gets renewed as it really is something special

[staircasttext]

Ep 08 Transcript: Twenty to Thirty Feral Cats

Episode 8

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone. Welcome back again to Stairway to StarClan, a Warrior Cats reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And I did almost forget the name of our podcast in the middle of saying that. So off to a strong start. Yeah, we are here today starting Fire and Ice, the second book in-- I guess it's just called the... I've also forgotten what the first books--

JULIAN: I think it's The Prophecy Begins is the name of the series.

PAZ: That is. I have my old version so I don't think it even says that. I mean, I guess I should say this is the book at which I have never read past for The Prophecy Begins, so this is uncharted territory for me in terms of details of what happens, beyond just like broad plot points. So that's exciting.

JULIAN: Yeah, we're also getting into the-- like, I read all these books multiple times, but I don't remember what happens in which book, so.

PAZ: Yeah, like some of the major plot points I know that do come up, I've been trying to figure out like what book I think that happens in. I'm like, I have no fucking clue. I don't really even know-- well, I know it's in this book but I don't know if that will just be the whole book. Well anyway, we read it. We started reading it. We're all gonna find out together. Anyone else want to add anything before the summaries?

LIZ: Yeah, I want to look for one second at the Allegiances area, cause there's some great descriptions. "Fireheart, handsome ginger tom. Graystripe, long-haired solid gray tom." Why is he called Graystripe then? What the fuck?

JULIAN: I always thought all the official art was like wrong because he didn't have any stripes in it. But it turns out that fuckin apparently he doesn't have stripes.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Are they like metaphorical stripes. What happened?

LIZ: Are they military stripes?

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: Maybe they thought the stripes would kind of like come in when he got older.

PAZ: Wow, Bluestar's really betting on that, huh? Didn't happen.

LIZ: She's playing the long game. You know, she's just got that big mastermind brain. Except when she doesn't. There's one more and it's for one of the the older cats, and it's gonna come up later. Let me see here. Yeah, there's Dappletail, "a once-pretty tortoiseshell she-cat with a lovely dappled coat." They do this to her at least two times. She was once beautiful. Hey. Come on.

PAZ: It reminds me of that Cats character.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, fuckin...

PAZ: The one who sings Memory.

JULIAN: Grizabella, the glamour cat.

PAZ: Yeah, Dappletail the glamour cat.

JULIAN: What do you have against aging gracefully, Erin Hunter?

LIZ: Yeah, all cats are beautiful to me.

JULIAN: All cats are queens.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Including Dappletail.

PAZ: Yes. I think old cats can be very cute.

LIZ: Yeah, again, look at Chloe.

JULIAN: Chloe.

LIZ: Chloe.

JULIAN: I was also excited to see in the Allegiances that Barley, Smudge, and Ravenpaw are all listed.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Yay.

JULIAN: Spoilers, I guess, but it's also in the front of the book, so.

LIZ: Spoilers.

PAZ: Yeah, they do that sometimes. They do that every time. Aw, Smudge's description is so cute. "Plump, friendly black and white kitten who lives in the house at the edge of the forest."

JULIAN: I don't think he's a kitten anymore.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: He and Fireheart are the same age.

PAZ: Well, his balls are gone so he's an everkit or whatever the hell that was.

LIZ: Is that what happened?

PAZ: We found that like cat slur somewhere.

LIZ: That doesn't mean he stops aging.

PAZ: Well, I don't know. I don't know what perspective Allegiances is written from.

LIZ: You know, whoever wrote this, hundreds of years in the cat future, the weird archivist doing this had some very strange views about age. You know, after cats have learned to write.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: Yeah, right.

JULIAN: With their little paws.

PAZ: Oh my god, there's a RiverClan person called Loudbelly.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: I love that.

LIZ: So good.

PAZ: That's a great name.

LIZ: Wait. Right below is there's a warrior called Whiteclaw.

PAZ: The description is just "a dark warrior." Period.

JULIAN: Why is he fucking named Whiteclaw?

LIZ: Maybe he's got little white socks.

JULIAN: Oh, that would be good.

PAZ: Oh, yes. I like that.

LIZ: Or maybe he just you know, likes hard seltzer.

JULIAN: I feel like hard seltzer didn't exist as a thing when this was written in like...

PAZ: No. Two thousand--

JULIAN: 2005 or whatever.

PAZ: Yeah. Okay, when did this come out? I think it might have actually come out the same year as the first one or like the year immediately after.

LIZ: Really.

PAZ: It came out, like really close together. I remember being--

LIZ: If you poured like vodka into a carbonator, would that be anything? Is that scientifically like viable?

JULIAN: Oh, yeah. Publish date 27 May 2003. Um, let's see. Carbonated vodka. I don't know if the alcohol would hold carbonation well.

LIZ: Probably not.

JULIAN: Um, nope. Someone did put-- here's a YouTube video. Someone put vodka in their Sodastream. Uh, yeah, it's possible. I think it probably doesn't taste good.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: I don't think you should carbonate anything. That's my stance.

JULIAN: You don't like the bubbles?

PAZ: No, I don't.

LIZ: Give them to me.

JULIAN: I love the sharp water.

LIZ: Me too, handshake.

PAZ: I don't like the bone hurting juice.

LIZ: I don't know. It feels-- sometimes your bones need some hurting. It's medicinal.

PAZ: Mmkay. Anyway, I think we're-- oh yes.

JULIAN: We've gotten wildly off topic.

LIZ: But just as a heads up, it's currently thundering where I live, so adds to the vibe, but also--

JULIAN: It'll be atmospheric.

LIZ: Yeah. But if you hear any, like rumbling in the background, I hope you don't, but that's what it is.

PAZ: I hope your power stays on.

LIZ: Me too.

PAZ: Well, let's dive into this then, just to get into it. Okay, so moving on to the summaries. This week, we read the prologue through chapter 3 of Fire and Ice. So the prologue opens on an unknown group of cats huddled near the Thunderpath within range of a Twoleg campfire. The cats are led by Tallstar, revealing them to be the exiled WindClan cats. The WindClan cats are still searching for a new home since being driven from their territory. The other cats in the clan voiced their concerns for themselves and the kits, but Tallstar decides that they have no choice but to settle in this barren area. The cats find a tunnel underneath what appears to be a highway overpass and take shelter there, having no other choices.

Chapter 1 then opens immediately following the last scene of Into the Wild, where Fireheart and Graystripe are completing their silent vigil. The book recaps the events of the previous book through Fireheart's internal monologue a lot. After their vigil, Sandpaw and Dustpaw get a scene where they are clearly displeased that the younger apprentices were made warriors first. And then as Graystripe and Fireheart settle into sleep in the warriors den, Fireheart thinks about how he still has to warn Bluestar about Tigerclaw. And he then has a very vivid dream of Thunderpath and cats in front of a fire.

After a timeskip to the evening, Fireheart and Graystripe have a conversation about how Fireheart wants to warn Bluestar. Graystripe doesn't seem to believe what Ravenpaw had said, and pointed out that if Ravenpaw was right, Redtail must have killed Oakheart, which would be against the warrior code and thus an assault on the deceased deputy's honor. Fireheart decides that Graystripe can stay out of the situation, and he will handle it himself. There is then a naming ceremony in which Longtail, the cat who hated Fireheart for being a kittypet, gets a new apprentice, Swiftpaw.

The next night is the night of the Gathering, and Fireheart and Graystripe attend it as warriors. Along the way. Fireheart finally gets a chance to talk with Bluestar alone, and informs her that Ravenpaw is not dead but with Barley, which Bluestar takes well. However, when Fireheart tells her about Tigerclaw, she is less receptive, especially because it calls Redtail's honor into question. She is doubtful that Ravenpaw actually saw the murder. The conversation is interrupted by Tigerclaw, and they continue on to the Gathering. Fireheart is left off kilter and begins to doubt his own gut instincts and the words of Ravenpaw.

Chapter 2 features the first gathering after Brokenstar's exile. Bluestar introduces Yellowfang as the new ThunderClan medicine cat, and Nightpelt from ShadowClan reveals that StarClan chose him to be their new leader and will travel to the Moonstone the next night. Crookedstar then revokes ShadowClan's right to hunt in their territory, which causes tension with Nightpelt. Crookedstar and Nightpelt then agree that with WindClan gone, both clans should hunt in their territory for prey. Bluestar objects to this, saying WindClan must return because StarClan gave them four clans for a reason. Tigerclaw publicly agrees WindClan must be returned. Nightpelt concedes that he will allow WindClan to return, as does Crookedstar. But both Fireheart and Tigerclaw notice after the meeting that Crookedstar and Nightpelt seem to be scheming in private despite publicly agreeing.

And then in the last chapter, chapter 3, the ThunderClan cats discuss Nightpelt and ShadowClan back in their camp. Whitestorm suggests ShadowClan is stronger than they appeared and that Nightpelt may have high ambitions. And some other cats reveal RiverClan's river hunting grounds have been disturbed by Twolegs. Later Firepaw once again dreams of the Thunderpath and the sad cry of a young cat. He wakes up unsettled and ultimately decides it must be a commonplace nightmare.

The following morning, Bluestar calls Fireheart and Graystripe for a meeting, where she gives them the mission to find and bring WindClan cats back to the forest. They will be the only two cats on this mission. Graystripe almost lets slip to Tigerclaw that they'd taken Ravenpaw to WindClan territory not too long ago, but Fireheart covers it up. The two then visit Yellowfang in the medicine cat's den, and Fireheart has some melancholy thoughts about Spottedleaf. And then after receiving their traveling herbs, the two warriors head out in search of WindClan. And that is the end of our reading this week.

JULIAN: I thought like they do a good job of kind of recapping what you last saw on Warriors, without it being like too heavy handed. Which was nice given that for most people, there's gonna be a little bit of a wait.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, I agree. It's pretty well done.

LIZ: Yeah, I just want to say it's a good use of Fireheart's brooding. He's got reason to.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess it also helps that, like there's literally no time in between the end of this book and-- I mean, the start of this book and the end of the last book, so I guess he's just like thinking about current events.

JULIAN: Yeah, well and I feel like we didn't get to see any of his like emotional reactions to basically anything that happened.

PAZ: Yeah, he seems to already have much more of like an internal life going on in this book than in the last book.

JULIAN: It's nice. Graystripe is also developing a little bit more of a personality, which is cute.

PAZ: Yes. He's developing the personality of like, not trusting his friend's words.

JULIAN: Well, yeah, that part sucks.

LIZ: Of a centrist?

PAZ: Yeah, he's developing the personality of a centrist. Oh, no.

JULIAN: Ugh.

PAZ: I do have a note here of "Graystripe confirmed fluffy" with a little smiley face. Cause I think there's a line about him being like long-furred or something.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're all getting fluffy for the winter.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: No, the Graystripe line that I liked was he says something about that he hopes Tigerclaw will set Sandpaw and Dustpaw to chasing blue squirrels.

PAZ: Yeah, that was cute. There's also a very, very cute moment in chapter 3. I'll just read it. "Graystripe purred briefly in his sleep as Fireheart settled besides him and closed his eyes." It's very cute.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: Aw. They're still just little guys.

JULIAN: Pals.

PAZ: They're little guys curled up next to each other.

JULIAN: Excellent.

PAZ: I mean, I'm happy WindClan is getting introduced because as I've stated as a child, I was a WindClan fan. So.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

PAZ: It's their time, and good thing because the other clans suck right now.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: I mean, do we want to go from the top? Like, from the prologue onward?

JULIAN: Yeah, with the prologue?

PAZ: Yeah. The prologue was nice. It was like very atmospheric and stuff. Um, I don't understand why humans suck so much in this universe.

JULIAN: I also have a note about like, why do the Twolegs fucking suck.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I mean, like, I know, like, some people are mean to cats like even just out on the street. But I don't think to this degree where like every single human being is.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, it sucks so much. Everyone's so mean to these little cats.

PAZ: Unbelievable.

JULIAN: Although I will say if I saw like 20 to 30 feral cats.

PAZ: Okay, that's fair.

JULIAN: If I was just chilling in the woods and I saw 20 to 30 feral cats, I might also like, yell at them

PAZ: What's that tweet about the feral hogs?

LIZ: That's so many though. I would leave. I don't think I could take 20 to 30 feral cats. They'd just get me.

PAZ: Legit question for rural Britons? British people? I don't know what British people are called. How do I kill the 20 to 30 feral cats that run into my yard within three to five minutes while my small kids play?

JULIAN: I feel like Twolegs sucking is gonna be kind of a theme of these books.

PAZ: It definitely is.

JULIAN: Given that we're already starting to see like, oh, the Twolegs are encroaching on the forest.

LIZ: Habitat loss.

PAZ: Yeah. I am curious to see where it goes with that theme of like, are you gonna lean into like this environmental theme? I don't know where they land on the execution, but we'll see.

LIZ: We don't know it yet. But in two or three series, the humans are just gonna have a little apocalypse and die off and it's gonna be post human apocalypse cat society just like in Guardians of Gahoole. Which is just gonna be like a weird mythology that's like used to scare the little kits and stuff.

JULIAN: Right? Like, do your hunting practice or a Twoleg will get you.

LIZ: Why is the Thunderpath called that? It's so peaceful and quiet. It's still smelly though.

PAZ: This is a bold claim to make about future books. I mean, I guess we'll see, you know.

JULIAN: Liz's predictions are my favorite part.

LIZ: Yeah, it's me. I'm the medicine cat.

PAZ: But, I mean, the prologue was pretty short. It was just like some like, atmospheric scene setting. But poor WindClan, man.

JULIAN: Yeah. I feel sorry for that cat who's going to have to give birth in a storm drain.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: No.

PAZ: I would take in these 20 to 30 feral cats and feed them.

JULIAN: Trap neuter return, guys. Cats don't have to give birth in a storm drain if they don't get pregnant.

PAZ: Taps head three times. But yeah, and then moving on to chapter 1. It's pretty long. It's just a lot of Fireheart being like, I gotta tell Bluestar again.

JULIAN: It felt like a fuckin like comedy of errors. Every time he gets up to tell her, she is like, oh, Tigerclaw is at my side now, or I'm gonna hop up on the High Rock and make an announcement. It felt very Yakety Sax.

PAZ: Yeah, it did. But you know, I'm glad he finally like got that drilled into his memory enough that it happened.

JULIAN: I was so afraid he was going to tell her about Ravenpaw and then not say anything about Tigerclaw.

PAZ: Oh, I know.

JULIAN: I thought he might chicken out at the last minute. I'm very glad that he did not.

LIZ: I couldn't take that for another book.

PAZ: A whole nother book.

LIZ: I'm glad he's got a little brain now. I'm so proud of him. Character development.

PAZ: Yeah, he does seem to be developing a bit more of a brain. It's only been like three chapters. But you know.

LIZ: Speaking of Fireheart's brain, there is this part. near the middle? The end of chapter 1 where one of the other warriors gets like an apprentice. And there is a little bit of thought there about like xenophobia.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah, Fireheart is like, wow, that guy didn't welcome me when I was a kitten. But I guess it's fine because that other kitten was born here.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: And apparently, he makes an expression cause Graystripe is like, what's with you?

PAZ: Yeah, I like that scene a lot, actually, cause it was like, wow character.

LIZ: Uh-huh. And it hasn't been that long since he was like that young. So like, this is still kind of fresh to him.

PAZ: I mean, yeah, cats age so fast. I guess it was a couple months ago.

LIZ: Yeah. He's just a little-- he's always gonna be a little guy to me.

PAZ: They do still have little guy energy.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: They're just little guys who are also xenophobic.

JULIAN: Yeah, just because they're little guys doesn't mean they can't do crimes.

PAZ: No, that's very clear. Something I didn't know, I didn't realize that killing another cat was against warrior code? Question mark?

JULIAN: Yeah, I also didn't-- I feel like they kill each other all the time.

LIZ: They do.

PAZ: I was like, uhhh. It wasn't like just killing the deputy, right? Or was it like killing in general?

LIZ: Maybe it's deputy.

PAZ: Gotta go look at Graystripe's exposition.

LIZ: Maybe it's like a political faux pas.

PAZ: Yeah, maybe.

LIZ: Because isn't their murder policy like, hey, if we see you around these parts, it's on sight?

PAZ: Yeah, I thought so.

LIZ: Right?

PAZ: Okay, what Graystripe says is, "I can't believe that Redtail would have deliberately killed another clan deputy in battle. It goes against the warrior code. We fight to prove our strength and defend our territory, not to kill each other."

JULIAN: They kill each other-- again, they kill each other all the time.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: They really do.

PAZ: I was like, I don't think it would like drag his name through the dirt if it turns out he killed somebody. Tigerclaw says he killed Oakheart, and everyone loves him. Like what is--

JULIAN: Yeah, wait.

PAZ: What is the issue?

JULIAN: Well, I guess it was like he killed Oakheart in revenge for killing Redtail.

PAZ: I guess.

JULIAN: Would that...

PAZ: I guess that makes it better. I don't know.

JULIAN: That makes it okay.

LIZ: Revenge is fine.

PAZ: It also sucks that everyone like just does not believe Ravenpaw.

LIZ: He's done nothing wrong. He was just a little like, guy. I'm sorry I keep saying that. But he's just like, a perfectly fine like, member of the clan who was really great at like hunting snakes and stuff. What did he do wrong?

PAZ: I mean, I guess no one was like, oh, like Ravenpaw's like lying just to be mean. They were all like, maybe he just like mis-saw or he got like, anxious or something. But it's still like, I think it's like a big-- like if you like run away and like fake your death and have that accusation, I think maybe you should like consider more strongly that it might have weight behind it.

JULIAN: Right? This isn't like a fun like flirty accusation for Ravenpaw.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: It has ruined his life.

PAZ: Yeah, he had to leave his home forever.

JULIAN: I mean, it hasn't ruined his life because he's living in gay pastoral fantasy with Barley, but like, he doesn't know that.

PAZ: Yeah, he hasn't had his like rom com yet.

JULIAN: We're at still the beginning of the rom com.

PAZ: Yeah, Bluestar seems to have no brains, I think.

LIZ: Where'd they go?

PAZ: I'm very frustrated by it. Like why does she love Tigerclaw so much? Chill.

LIZ: They're not even friends. She doesn't like him.

JULIAN: His vibes are so rancid. They're so... and then for Fireheart to start doubting himself. And like Graystripe also to doubt him. Again, Graystripe, you just risked your life to rescue Ravenpaw.

PAZ: Right? I don't understand it.

LIZ: It makes Graystripe seem so like wishy-washy.

PAZ: Right? He's a centrist. He is. He's like, Oh, I don't want to say anything that would harm the clan, you know.

LIZ: Yeah, it makes his like, earlier risk trying to help Ravenpaw seem like, oh, like a way to avoid conflict rather than sacrifice. Ugh.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah. I think we do see some stuff later that kind of backs that up.

PAZ: That's good.

JULIAN: As far as his characterization, if I'm remembering the handling of some stuff correctly, but.

LIZ: (skeptically) Mm.

PAZ: Oh boy.

JULIAN: Not with Ravenpaw, but.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, I feel bad for Fireheart, though. I do think it's like reasonable for him to start doubting himself when literally everyone else is like, I think his vibes are fine. Despite Fireheart being like, his vibes fucking suck. I can sense it.

JULIAN: I was glad that we got a moment of-- speaking of bad vibes-- Longtail like being nice to his deputy, even though Fireheart is like sad about it. Or to his apprentice, sorry. Because at least we're not continuing the cycle of terrible mentors.

PAZ: Please don't give Tigerclaw another apprentice.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Oh, no.

LIZ: Bluestar was considering it, right?

JULIAN: Maybe he's too busy for one now.

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I thought maybe-- I said maybe he's too busy for one now. But then I remembered that Bluestar had a apprentice, so. Although she seems to have had one fighting session with Firepaw.

LIZ: It was really good, though. Look at him now.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's true. He is very good.

PAZ: She said, my work here is done.

LIZ: And it was.

JULIAN: He's a feisty little boy.

PAZ: Yeah, apparently, cause she just made him a warrior.

LIZ: That's all he needed.

PAZ: Yeah, you're right. He's like, he's never going to be mentored by Bluestar again, because he's a warrior now. That literally-- that was only important for one scene. That is so funny.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: He had one session of driver's ed. He got behind the wheel once and then they didn't even make him take a driver's test. They were just like, oh, here's your license. Go ahead.

PAZ: I mean, I guess the one thing I can say for Bluestar is she was like, really chill about Ravenpaw leaving. She was just like, yeah, sometimes cats just would be better off somewhere else, like not in a mean way. Just like, he didn't seem that happy here. Thanks, Bluestar.

LIZ: I did like the parallel she made with like, Fireheart, you're happier here, even though you weren't born here. And like, it was interesting cause he was also self conscious about that. Because like, that's the thing that does get him now and then, like, personally, even though she means it as like a nice thing.

PAZ: But she says, I do not want to hear it about Tigerclaw, so that's great.

JULIAN: Oy.

LIZ: One last thing about chapter 1, before we get to the later parts, I guess-- or I mean, we're kind of there already, but you know. I just want to draw attention to Whitestorm pretty early on, because he's described as having a deep meow.

PAZ: I mean, there's cats who do.

LIZ: Yeah, it's just funny to hear that. It's like, "'glad to see the dawn, you two.' Whitestorm's deep meow took Fireheart by surprise."

JULIAN: I'm just imagining him now, now that you mention that, that video of the cat who like meows like a person.

PAZ: Yeah, yes, I love that video.

LIZ: The one that's like (deep voice) meow.

PAZ: Yeah, that one.

JULIAN: That's Whitestorm. I too am surprised, Fireheart.

PAZ: Do you think the cats have like cat accents in their meows?

LIZ: Yeah, they're British.

JULIAN: Oh, I wonder if the different clans have different accents?

LIZ: Aw, that'd be cute.

JULIAN: Because I know-- well, do you think Fireheart like talks like a kittypet? Cause I know that like pet cats often make different noises than like--

PAZ: They meow more.

JULIAN: --feral ones, yeah.

LIZ: That's true.

PAZ: Everyone's always meowing in this book but cats only meow like around humans. But we'll let that slide. It's fine.

LIZ: It's almost like that could be solved with some very minor writing changes. I can't think of what, though.

PAZ: Oh, we should--

JULIAN: Would you say something about it?

PAZ: We should number count the times said is in this book. Can we get...

JULIAN: Yeah, I can do a-- let me do a quick search.

PAZ: Can we get a number on that? Okay, thank you.

JULIAN: On my ebook.

LIZ: Anyone want to make any bets for how many we'll have?

JULIAN: Yeah, give me your over/unders.

LIZ: 12. By the end of the book.

PAZ: Maybe they've they've got a little looser this book. So 20.

JULIAN: Yeah, we're at 27.

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: But none of them are dialogue tags.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Welp. Okay, that means--

JULIAN: Entirely-- all of them are like, Graystripe said nothing, or like.

PAZ: Oh god.

JULIAN: This character said this. This character said that, or like characters reporting that a character said something else, like in their own dialogue.

LIZ: How do they know what said is?

PAZ: Oh, it's a big fat zero. The dialogue tag.

LIZ: Wouldn't they be like, you'll never guess what Bluestar meowed to me.

PAZ: Oh, God.

JULIAN: Do you want to know how many times meowed is used?

PAZ: Oh, yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: 300.

LIZ: Oh my goodness.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: I can hear it. It's just like 20 to 30 cats meowing at you.

PAZ: Oh boy, well, um, no updates in writing style there, I guess.

JULIAN: I think that's probably in the style Bible.

PAZ: God. I wonder.

LIZ: If you want to be an Erin, and you come up with your draft, and you use said as a dialogue tag, they're gonna be like, [claps] No.

PAZ: Even once.

LIZ: We're going to Ctrl-F. We're going to replace. Listen, we love the rest of this. But we do things a certain way here. It's about consistency.

JULIAN: I wonder if the cats chirp at all.

LIZ: Oh, my God.

PAZ: See, that's how cats would talk to each other.

JULIAN: Because that's how cats communicate.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Nope. None.

PAZ: Unbelievable.

LIZ: Maybe later.

JULIAN: I guess does have like a sort of--

PAZ: Bouncy vibe to it.

JULIAN: It has like a very cheerful energy to it.

LIZ: They can be cheerful sometimes.

PAZ: Well they should use it sometimes, then, unless these cats are never cheerful.

LIZ: They are. I hope they're happier. Yeah.

PAZ: Well, I think we were talking about Whitestorm. My note on him is he seems like real cool and chill and I don't understand why he wasn't made deputy.

LIZ: He didn't want to. He just didn't want to.

PAZ: I mean, I guess that means he got to live for now, at least, so.

JULIAN: Whitestorm has like cool uncle vibes.

LIZ: Cool uncle who's like-- he's got a little bit more brain. He's not gonna get, you know, murdered immediately maybe.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, he's the uncle who like at family gatherings you like, go out to the porch because people are fighting and like, he's just chilling out there with a drink. And you just like make eye contact and nod at each other.

PAZ: I love that.

LIZ: He's having a White Claw. He's like, okay, you're 13. Have a Lacroix.

PAZ: But then chapter two is just the Gathering, basically. Cat politics are back. They're still going at it.

JULIAN: I feel like ShadowClan has got to stop electing or like choosing to elect leaders who have rancid names. Make Runningnose leader.

PAZ: Night is not as bad as Broken, I guess, but it's still...

JULIAN: Yeah, no, it's not.

LIZ: It's just kind of goth, I guess.

PAZ: But he sucks too, and so does Crookedstar apparently.

JULIAN: Damn, who'da thunk?

LIZ: Why doesn't he have like a river-themed one? Why isn't he also like, Wetfoot or something? Wetstar?

PAZ: Wetass.

LIZ: We can't do that here.

JULIAN: Okay, okay.

PAZ: We can't use that. Sorry, I just-- you can't use that word.

LIZ: Mm-mm.

PAZ: I just see Castiel from Supernatural's face--

LIZ: No.

PAZ: --in my mind's eye.

JULIAN: Bringing it back. Bringing it back.

LIZ: We've gone too far. Oh, no. Fishstar.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, I'm... yeah, Fishstar. Hookstar would be fun.

PAZ: Sinister.

JULIAN: Like, you know, he's really good at scooping fish out of water. Um, give them a little... little tricky vibe. But not like as bad as Crookedstar.

LIZ: No, it's just roguish. It's not just evil.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Prawnstar. Eyyy. Like, like monster.

JULIAN: Do they have crayfish in England?

PAZ: That's what I was wondering. I'm like, I don't know. That's why I said prawn.

JULIAN: Bringing back our little section of animal googling.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I can't believe I said crayfish. Crawfish.

PAZ: He could be... He could be Crawstar.

LIZ: Wait, is there a difference?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: Also, yes. Do you know why?

PAZ: Why?

LIZ: Well, there's only one. There's not really any reason why. But they are called white-clawed crayfish.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: Yeah, see? It's all ring theory.

JULIAN: There you go.

PAZ: Whiteclaw is in RiverClan.

LIZ: "Due the introduction of non-native North American signal crayfish." Oops.

PAZ: Woopsie.

LIZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: You just gotta eat them. You gotta eat more of them.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Get on it, RiverClan.

JULIAN: God, I want crawfish. All right, um.

LIZ: I'm so hungry, guys.

PAZ: Me too.

JULIAN: It does suck that-- the cat politics-- it sucks that RiverClan, having just come from being like, no, ShadowClan, you can't encroach on our territory, is like, but it's okay if we encroach on WindClan's and like, don't let them come back.

PAZ: What the fuck?

LIZ: It was instant.

JULIAN: What's wrong with y'all?

PAZ: Yeah, like real shitty.

JULIAN: Also, again, I agree with whichever cat was like, there's just some scrawny rabbits up there. Like, yeah, what do y'all want?

PAZ: Yeah, like WindClan already is like, toughing it out up there. Like, just let them come back. You're not gonna get much out of it.

LIZ: It sounds like WindClan is like maybe five people at this point.

PAZ: Oh, God. Well, maybe that was like a Crookedstar homophobia moment. I found it interesting that Tigerclaw was so adamant about WindClan coming back, though. Just I guess it wasn't clear in the text if he like-- it wasn't indicated that he was like saying that like untruthfully, in any way. So I wasn't sure if he was just supposed to-- yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, he seems like very much in support of WindClan, which I didn't expect.

PAZ: Yeah, it's just odd. Like, I don't know, I guess because he really only cares about his ambitions so far.

JULIAN: Yeah, I guess it also helps-- like if he is publicly backing up Bluestar, that kind of helps him solidify his position with her.

PAZ: That could be it, but just like it wasn't written in the way to make that like clear that that was his goal. So I was like, is he being genuine? I don't know. It's interesting.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, that's me just like, coming up with possible evil motivations for that. He might just be pro WindClan.

PAZ: Wow, I have something in common with Tigerclaw finally.

LIZ: Yeah, the introduction of having like that in common with Bluestar and Fireheart is like, I think it's really interesting because like, oh, no, now what do I do? It's like that Lord Of the Rings meme, right, with the I can't believe I'm whatever. I don't know. I've seen Lord of the Rings once.

PAZ: Fighting side by side with a dwarf. Fighting side by side with an elf. Yeah.

LIZ: Except still evil at some point, right? Mm.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah, it was interesting. I am curious to see his attitude towards WindClan down the road, I guess. Like where is that coming from?

JULIAN: And he like, when they go to prep for their their secret mission, he's very supportive, and trying give them advice. Which I kind of expected him to use this as an opportunity to try to bump off Fireheart but.

LIZ: He loves to do that.

JULIAN: I guess it would be too suspicious.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, like, maybe he's hoping that but it didn't seem like that.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't think he has it in for Fireheart at this point.

PAZ: Not at the moment.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Cause he was like, make sure to avoid Nightpelt and stuff like that. I guess if he really wanted Fireheart killed, he would have sent them directly towards Nightpelt. I don't know.

JULIAN: Or just been like, oh, make sure that you like walk on the Thunderpath. Disguise your scent.

PAZ: Oh, God.

JULIAN: Maybe you can take a shortcut through snake hell.

PAZ: I do hope we get to see more comical Tigerclaw like trying to murder someone publicly.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: It was very funny last book.

JULIAN: It was very like Tom and Jerry, like cartoonishly large hammer.

LIZ: Tom v. Tom. I do like the conflict, I guess, like inner conflict that it brings up in Fireheart. Because like, he's using his brain, which is still so novel to me, that I'm like, whenever it happens, I'm just like, yes, do it. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

PAZ: He's learning. He's growing stronger as a warrior.

LIZ: I guess it also gives, like, some reasoning as to why Bluestar is giving any shit about like, keeping him where he is. Like, if, if he's, you know, like agreeing and making things or like taking her side and stuff. Like you guys said, it's like a good political thing.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, Bluestar always seems to like-- her reason for supporting him always seems to come back to like, he's very helpful to the clan and like, supportive of the clan. And that's why everyone likes him, question mark? So getting in the good graces.

JULIAN: I did really like the last line of the third chapter.

PAZ: Oh, I think I remember.

JULIAN: "As he raced through the tunnel, Fireheart heard the ferns rustling in the morning breeze. They seem to be whispering, 'Good luck! Travel safely.'" Which I thought was just really nice.

LIZ: That's very sweet.

PAZ: Yeah, that was just a nice little like good vibes moment.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Also sets up the journey to be like, kind of exciting.

LIZ: It's kind of like an old fashioned way of writing like, adventure nature stuff, which I liked.

JULIAN: Yeah, it feels very, like kids adventure novel. I mean, this is a kids adventure novel, but like that very particular genre of like E. Nesbitt.

LIZ: Yeah, if this was a book about like Fireheart being a little teeny cat with like, pants and a shirt and like a knapsack full of bread or something.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: And a sword. This is what it would also be like.

PAZ: Picturing it.

JULIAN: Yep. It's just our podcast art, but with an orange cat instead of a gray one. Ideal.

LIZ: While we're in this section, I want to draw attention to something Graystripe says, which is he calls Fireheart "slow slug," which adorable.

PAZ: Graystripe has some really good like, sayings.

JULIAN: Yeah, why wasn't that on our list of cat insults?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: We should be keeping that. Just keep it updated for reference.

JULIAN: Open up a wiki page. Just kidding. The Warriors wiki team is very, uh, strict.

PAZ: They seem... I don't want to get on their bad side. They'll send like a hit squad out for us.

JULIAN: The power of a team that can organize a wiki of that size that well is very frightening to me.

PAZ: Yes. I do gotta say, though, Bluestar, why are you sending out like the two youngest warriors on this important mission?

LIZ: Bluestar's brains this book are just gone.

JULIAN: She's like, Oh, it's because the other warriors have to hunt. And it's like, you don't want to send your like seasoned warriors who might have some political savvy out to handle the bringing back the clan that was driven from their home job?

PAZ: Yeah, they're essentially going as like diplomats, like diplomats and rescue team. Like you'd think you would send someone who's a good like representation of your clan out.

JULIAN: Like send Whitestorm.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: Yeah, he's great.

JULIAN: Not these two apprentices who-- Fireheart has never met WindClan. And Graystripe like, is--

LIZ: A centrist.

JULIAN: --has only [laughs] yeah. He's a centrist. And also, he's only been known to WindClan as like a child. So I don't think that this like traumatized clan is going to want to go with them.

PAZ: Right? It's so weird.

LIZ: I think like the reason the book gives is like, oh, you guys are the only ones who know what WindClan smells like right now. And that's also easily something-- you don't have to send both of them. Just send one of them and like, an adult.

PAZ: Yeah. Well, I'm not sure about that one, Bluestar. But okay.

JULIAN: Well, Fireheart will have to use his protagonist aura.

PAZ: Yeah. Maybe she was counting on that.

LIZ: Bluestar has such a serious case of like, dumb for the plot. It's so...

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: The crime against the girlbossiest of girlbosses. I don't know.

PAZ: How could they do this? Yeah, I mean, but that's kind of the end of that reading section. Just they're going out on their journey. I do have to say, I wish Fireheart would realize he was having like prophetic dreams. He was like, well, the other ones were prophetic, but this one isn't, probably. It's fine.

JULIAN: I'm sure this one is fine and normal.

LIZ: You know, it's okay that he's still so dumb. Because if he got smart, like, all at once, it would just be too much of a character shift. This feels good and familiar.

JULIAN: Yeah. Yeah. I also think like, if I had like, a couple of prophetic dreams, and then had a dream that like, seemed just sort of like bad vibes, I would be like, Oh, I don't want this dream to be prophetic. So I'm gonna decide that it's not

PAZ: Yeah, that was kind of what he did. And he was also like, I don't want Tigerclaw to like, get on my case about this. So, um, it was probably fine. I'll just go back to sleep.

LIZ: It's procrastination if you're like a prophet.

PAZ: StarClan is like sending these down, like, hello? Hello? Open your texts.

LIZ: These are StarClan emails.

JULIAN: Fireheart's 5000 unopened emails.

LIZ: Dear Fireheart, hope you're well. Was just wanting to check up on the last email that I sent you. Have you had a chance to look at it? Please let me know as soon as you can. Regards, StarClan.

JULIAN: Graystripe, meanwhile, over here at inbox zero.

LIZ: StarClan voice, per my last email.

JULIAN: Purr my last email? Sorry.

LIZ: Ooh. Well done. [claps]

PAZ: The dreams are very like sad though.

JULIAN: Yeah. Why can't he have a good prophetic dream?

PAZ: Prophetic dream that he'll catch a big rabbit tomorrow. I don't know. I don't know what would be a good cat dream.

JULIAN: I guess his dreams when he was a kittypet, those prophetic dreams were good dreams. He got to catch a mouse.

LIZ: Prophetic dream about being able to eat cheese for the first time because he gets invited to Ravenpaw and Barley's wedding on the farm, and the farmers have left some cheese out as a wedding gift.

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: Wow. He can't have too much, though. It'll upset his little tummy.

PAZ: Well, just a little nibble.

LIZ: Just a little, just a little.

PAZ: As a treat. Well, I'm excited to for next reading.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think we're gonna have some good journey content.

PAZ: Yeah, I love when the cats go places, you know?

JULIAN: It's good.

PAZ: Cats on the move. I mean, does that end our little reading section?

JULIAN: Yeah, I think we covered it.

LIZ: Yeah. Though I am looking at my bookmark, which talks about Dappletail again. And it calls it, "the once-beautiful queen Dappletail spoke up in a voice cracked with age."

PAZ: Just Grizabella.

JULIAN: This is just...

PAZ: She's gonna start belting out Memory any second now.

JULIAN: I started to, like, trying to remember the tune so I could sing it, or like part of it, but all I could remember was Agony from Into the Woods. (singing to the tune of "Agony") Memory. Uh, Anyway.

PAZ: Anyway, let's move on to our next thing. I was thinking we could click around MIT Scratch Warriors community.

JULIAN: Hell yes.

PAZ: Which we were introduced to last episode. There is truly so much here. I don't understand it.

[meow]

LIZ: What is...

JULIAN: Oh, this is delightful.

LIZ: What is MIT Scratch really?

PAZ: I don't know. Let me go look at their about.

JULIAN: So yeah, so Blue said it was like a-- it's like a site for kids to kind of learn how to code. So it's, you know, like, this is how you put together an animation, or like a program, or like a little game. But you don't have to actually write the code. You just learn how to kind of do if/then types of things and dependencies and that sort of thing.

LIZ: That's sweet.

PAZ: But it's extremely funny that a Warriors community has made itself at home here.

LIZ: I think that just... it feels natural.

JULIAN: Yeah. Oh, there's a bunch of remixes of this Make a Clan link. Or no, there's just one.

PAZ: Where is... Oh God. Oh, God. I can't see anything. Oh, mm? Aah.

JULIAN: Oh. Hello? I'm gonna make this full screen.

PAZ: Oh, that might help things. I didn't-- no. That didn't really help things. We're looking at a game--

JULIAN: This cat is talking to me, but I can't--

PAZ: We're looking at a game called Make a Clan. There is a cat talking to us but it is covered by a bajillion windows.

JULIAN: How do I hide these?

PAZ: I don't know. I don't think we can.

LIZ: Don't be a coward. Click in all of that.

PAZ: Oh, I think the cat's saying, What's your clans name? Well, CrabClan. If I type it in, will it accept it? Okay, yes, it accepted it. What's your leaders name? It was--

LIZ: Alix.

PAZ: Larkstar and-- was it, no. What'd you end up, Julian?

JULIAN: Oh, I don't remember. I think I stuck with Pinestar, maybe? Pine, whatever the fuck. Pinestripe.

PAZ: Pinestar. There we go. Oh, I think I filled it out wrong. Oh no. Aw.

LIZ: Well then, we can't make a clan.

PAZ: I don't know about this one, guys.

LIZ: We got booted.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah, I've put it in as the clan name. Whoops.

PAZ: Well.

JULIAN: Yeah, we might have to pick another one. Oh, I'm gonna-- let's see.

PAZ: Do we want to check out this one that I found? A Day in the Life of a Clan Leader.

JULIAN: Yeah, let's do this.

PAZ: I'm loving the music.

JULIAN: Oh, there are instructions. The game is unfinished.

PAZ: Oh god, the music just changed.

LIZ: Oh god, it's so loud.

JULIAN: "To pick your cat, just click on it. To move, use the right or left arrow keys. To travel around, click the entrance of the place you want to go. To hunt the mouse, just click on it." This is very interactive.

PAZ: So we got FireClan, CloudClan, and LeafClan to choose from. Who are we gonna choose?

JULIAN: Oh god, it's so loud.

LIZ: It's very loud. Hey, if you click right and left, you can make the cat dance.

PAZ: We gotta choose our cat. Which clan are we gonna choose?

JULIAN: I vote LeafClan.

LIZ: Me too.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm feeling that. That's Willowstar.

JULIAN: Willowstar has a little diamond in the center of their forehead, which I think is great.

PAZ: Willowstar is like gray and white.

JULIAN: Our other options are Dapplestar, who has a little star, and then Ashstar, who has emo bangs.

PAZ: So it kind of puts your cat in this scene. And you kind of just click places. Oh. So I just clicked into the medicat. Lovely array of like herbs and stuff here. Let's see. Let's see what's up. "The Gathering is tonight. Get ready." Okay. Oh my god. If you press space, they meow.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: I don't know if I can leave this conversat-- okay, yeah, they just go back outside.

JULIAN: Uh-oh. I moved too far to the left.

PAZ: Camp exit. Okay, we're out of the camp. Willowstar? I already can't remember. "I must find prey for my clan. Click the rock to start." Okay, I'm clicking the rock.

LIZ: The medic area looks like it just has cookies.

PAZ: Might have hit a dead end here.

JULIAN: Those are the strongest potions. Yeah, I can't click the rock.

PAZ: Well, that's a day in the life of a leader.

LIZ: Wow. I like the meow function.

PAZ: Yeah, the meow function is great. I think all games should implement that. I have found Warrior Cats Text Adventure.

JULIAN: Oh, that might be a little bit easier.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Let's do that one.

PAZ: Let's try this one out.

LIZ: Hey, should we screenshare this?

PAZ: Oh yeah, I guess I'll just do that.

LIZ: First screen shared podcast.

PAZ: Okay, we seem to be starting in media res here.

JULIAN: Uh-oh. Try hitting stop and then the green flag again. The stop button up at the top. Oh, there you go. We've started at the beginning.

PAZ: Choose your clan. RiverClan. Oh, they got stats. Oh.

LIZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: Oh shit.

PAZ: RiverClan stats. No, this is WindClan, sorry.

JULIAN: No, that's WindClan.

PAZ: WindClan stats. Speed, 10. Strength, 2. Smarts, 5. Stealth, 5. Swim, 2.

LIZ: Actually, it's stregth.

PAZ: Oh sorry. Stregth.

JULIAN: Stregth.

PAZ: Yes. Oh, that's a special stat that only WindClan has, cause RiverClan just has strength. No, wait.

JULIAN: No, they also have stregth.

PAZ: Wow, you're right. They all have stregth. Stregth. Well, okay. Hey, I have issues with these stats. RiverClan has speed 2, stregth 10, smarts 10, stealth five, swim 10. I think RiverClan's a little OP here.

JULIAN: RiverClan seems kind of OP.

LIZ: Looks like someone has favorites. Hmm.

JULIAN: Can we see what ThunderClan's smart status is? Yeah, that seems about right.

PAZ: Yeah, so ThunderClan's stats are speed 5, stregth 8, smart 5, stealth 5, swim 2.

LIZ: I think smart should be less.

JULIAN: Yeah, I would give them a 2.

PAZ: I would give WindClan more smarts honestly.

LIZ: Yeah, they're like surviving. They've got this.

PAZ: So ShadowClan's stats are speed 5, stregth 8, speed 5, stealth 10, swim 2.

LIZ: Okay, one, I think any clan that isn't RiverClan should have swim 0.

PAZ: That's true. They all have swim 2 except RiverClan. Well, I don't want to choose RiverClan on the basis that they're OP.

JULIAN: I think we should go WindClan.

PAZ: I agree. We're gonna celebrate them this book.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: "Clan leader: Well, well, well, it seems we have received a new warrior. I name you." I think it has given me one. I don't know if I can change it.

JULIAN: Our autogenerated name is Timberburr.

PAZ: I'll take it, you know? Gotta respect what the leader says. "Press space to begin your adventure." Does somebody want to...

JULIAN: Sure.

PAZ: --be this cat.

JULIAN: "Greetings, new warrior. Would you like to join me on a hunting patrol?" This is Stormclaw.

PAZ: That's so...

LIZ: What happens if you say no?

PAZ: Yes or no. Do we want to say no?

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I want to say no. "That's fine. I'll go with some other cat."

PAZ: "He walks away. A second warrior pads over." Wanna do that, Liz?

LIZ: Oh, I can do it. Clawstrike says, "if you aren't going on patrol, you might as well make yourself useful. The elders need new bedding. The apprentices brough the new moss in, but you can clear away the old moss."

PAZ: "In the elders den, an elder peers at you."

JULIAN: (creakily) "Thank you for doing this."

PAZ: "A second spots you and begins mewing rapidly."

LIZ: Okay. (high-pitched and wavery) "Finally. Young cats these days. That reminds me of when I was young. There was this fox, see, attacking the clans, and I knew that it needed to learn a blah blah blah blah blah."

[laughing]

PAZ: "You finish long before the story is done and exit the den."

JULIAN: This is so rude.

LIZ: I wanna hear about the fox.

PAZ: "The next day... as you stand in camp, you hear something. Before you can move, an enemy clan invades your camp. You find yourself face to face with a snarling enemy cat. You must perform a move against your enemy."

JULIAN: Oh shit.

PAZ: So we can either leap and hold, front paw blow, upright lock, or a tail yank.

LIZ: Tail yank.

JULIAN: I vote tail yank.

PAZ: Okay. Oh god. "You grab your enemy's tail in your teeth and yank, but her twists and slices your chest."

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Our health has dropped from 20 to 16.

PAZ: Oh God.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh shit.

LIZ: We died?

PAZ: We Dark Souls died. "Just then, the order sounds for your clan to retreat. Clan leader: we are defeated." Huge letters. "You lose."

LIZ: We died.

JULIAN: Well, that was quick.

PAZ: Um, well, Warriors games are unforgiving, apparently.

LIZ: Should we replay with better stats?

PAZ: Okay. Do we wanna stay true to our allegiances or go be OP?

LIZ: Let's be OP.

PAZ: Okay, fine. We'll cave to this author's favoritism and be RiverClan. Oh my god.

LIZ: What?

JULIAN: Oh no, we're Ashfur.

LIZ: Wait a minute. Hold on.

PAZ: Ashfur really is like the John of Warriors names.

LIZ: Ashfur, parentheses, no relation.

PAZ: Well, we're Ashfur. Okay. Here we go.

JULIAN: Oh, it's the same warrior.

LIZ: Stormclaw, no relation.

JULIAN: Stormclaw would like us to join him on a sun hunting patrol. Again.

PAZ: Should we say yes this time maybe?

JULIAN: Yeah, let's see what it's like.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: "You walk out of camp. In the hunting grounds of your clan."

JULIAN: (bombastically) "I smell mouse. How about you catch it for your first catch as a warrior?"

LIZ: "Moss says, squeak."

PAZ: No, it's "squeaks softly."

LIZ: Oh, excuse me. (whispering) Squeaks softly.

PAZ: What's our stealth? Not very good. Our speed's not very good. Maybe we should pounce. We're very strong.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: We can pounce, stalk, or chase, and I think pounce is probably...

PAZ: "When you pounce, the mouse does not notice until too late. With a powerful leap, you catch it and swiftly nip its neck."

JULIAN: (cheerfully) "Wow. Nice catch. That was a great pounce."

PAZ: "His voice is muffled by the feathers of a thrush he caught."

JULIAN: [garbled speech]

PAZ: "You walk back to camp."

LIZ: Which is, by the way, in capital letters.

PAZ: "In your clan's camp. The clan leader says."

LIZ: "Impressive. Good job, both of you."

PAZ: "She nods at you and Stormclaw before vanishing into her den."

JULIAN: "It was fun hunting with you. Now I'll go ask if I'm wanted on moonhigh patrol. If not, I going straight to sleep."

PAZ: "He walks away."

LIZ: This guy is an NPC.

PAZ: He talks like an Oblivion NPC.

LIZ: "I'm going straight to sleep."

JULIAN: What is the difference between this and Oblivion, really?

PAZ: Yeah. I think Bethesda might have ripped some of this off.

LIZ: Mm, maybe you're onto something.

PAZ: "The next day." We're in battle again. "As you stand in the camp, you hear something. Before you can move, an enemy clan invades your camp. You must perform a move against your enemy."

LIZ: What if this was timed?

PAZ: Oh god. Okay, so we're very strong.

JULIAN: I think either leap and hold or front paw blow might be our best bets with strength.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Front paw blow seems good.

LIZ: Yeah, one shot, one kill.

JULIAN: Yeah, let's just fucking punch em.

PAZ: "You slam your paw down on the enemy warrior's head. He hisses but is dazed for a heartbeat. You rake your claws down his chest and he backs away, growling. Just then the order sounds for the other clan to retreat. Your enemy bares his teeth at you and flees alongside his clanmates."

LIZ: Clan leader says, "we have won this battle. All the cats are to go and have their wounds, if they have any, treated by our medicine cat."

PAZ: "The medicine cat pads over and checks your pelt for injuries.

JULIAN: "I can't see or scent any injuries. But I'm out of goldenrod. Could you go gather me some?"

PAZ: We can say yes or no. I feel like saying no last time really fucked us up, maybe. I'll say yes.

LIZ: Yeah. "Thank you."

PAZ: "Outside camp, you search for the herbs and come across three places to check. You know that goldenrod does not grow in marshes." So we can either check ferns, under brambles, or in marsh.

JULIAN: I kinda wanna check in the marsh.

PAZ: Okay.

LIZ: That 10 smart is not accurate.

PAZ: "You pad into the marsh. The mud is thick and wet and you sink a tail length deep."

LIZ: Holy shit.

PAZ: "The mud covers your legs and belly and you struggle to get out. No sign of goldenrod, and now you're stuck." So we can either call for help or pull out. We're very strong.

JULIAN: We are very strong.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: This'll be fine. We're gonna pull out.

LIZ: We're fine.

PAZ: "You try and pull yourself out. The mud clings to your fur, but you manage to get out. You walk back to camp."

LIZ: No consequences for our bad decision?

PAZ: No, I guess not.

JULIAN: I feel like we should have lost some health for like being cold and wet.

LIZ: Probably stinky, too. Oh, it's me. "Clan leader says, let all cats old enough to swim gather for a clan meeting." Oh boy. That was me. The oh boy is not canon. "One of our kits is ready to become an apprentice. Step forward, young one."

PAZ: "A kit scurries forward."

LIZ: (laughing) "From this moment on, you shall be known as Snailpaw."

PAZ: Just to be clear, Snailpaw is also an auto generated name. "The leader fixes her gaze on you."

LIZ: "You shall mentor this cat."

PAZ: "Your apprentice touches noses with you, looking excited."

JULIAN: (chirpily) "I'm gonna be the best warrior in the clan with you as a mentor."

LIZ: I got confused. They were both green text.

PAZ: "What will you do with your apprentice? Hunt. Battle train. Gather moss." This is such a tiny baby. I don't wanna battle train.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: They're too small.

LIZ: But I want to seem cool in front of my student. I don't think moss is gonna do it. Let's hunt.

PAZ: Maybe we should hunt, then.

JULIAN: We already hunted though.

PAZ: Well, these cats hunt every day.

LIZ: What if the baby gets hungry? Do we want to gather moss?

PAZ: Let's go hunt.

LIZ: Alright.

PAZ: "You take your apprentice to your clan's hunting grounds."

JULIAN: (high-pitched) "I smell bird."

PAZ: "You teach them the proper bird hunting technique and they begin to stalk a small finch." We can either help your apprentice or let them do it. I'm happy to help our young apprentice, Snailpaw.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I feel like as the apprentice, I can't chime in.

LIZ: Let's help.

PAZ: This is their first day. Let's help.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: "The apprentice luges at the bird. And it flutters towards you. You catch and kill it."

JULIAN: (high-pitched) "That was fun. We make a great team."

PAZ: Aw.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: "You go back to camp, for the sun is setting."

LIZ: Oh, the prey count also is 2. We did it.

JULIAN: Oh yay.

LIZ: "Clan leader says, oh good, you're back. You had better get some sleep. Now."

JULIAN: (high-pitched) "Thank you for the training."

PAZ: "Your apprentice pads into the apprentices' den and you go to the warriors' den to get some sleep. The next day, the deputy pads over to you."

LIZ: Who wants to do the cowboy voice for this? It can't me.

JULIAN: (laughing) I can do it. [clears throat] (in a very bad Southern accent) "I want you to go on a border patrol by the river with several other warriors." I don't know what happened there.

PAZ: It was perfect.

"At the river."

LIZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Who the fuck is Darkflight?

LIZ: I don't know. "Darkflight says, we should spread out."

PAZ: "Each warrior pads to a different area. You hear a small wail and sight two kits from a different clan floundering weakly in the river." We either help them or leave them.

LIZ: That's a real Bioshock choice there.

JULIAN: Well, help them of course.

PAZ: Yeah, our swim is 10. We're fucking going in there. "You spring into the river to save the kits. Being RiverClan, you swim quickly and nimbly, and are able to reach the kits in time. You haul them out of the river and manage to save them. A patrol from the kits' clan arrives, thanks you, and takes the kits back. Your patrol gapes at you, but you pad back to the camp in silence."

JULIAN: What the fuck is wrong with our patrol?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, I can't-- is that like, judgment? You want them to just die? Jesus.

LIZ: Maybe it's um, gaping at us because we swim so good because we have 10 swim.

PAZ: Yeah, it better be in like awe. Oh my god. We won.

LIZ: Holy shit.

PAZ: We won.

JULIAN: We did it.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: "In camp."

LIZ: "Darkflight says, I'll report back to our leader."

PAZ: "She pads away. The clan leader soon approaches you."

LIZ: Clan leader, who sounds exactly the same, says, "By saving those kits, you have averted war between our clans. May StarClan honor you."

PAZ: "You win" and then there's a little fun animatic of the title, like the Warriors title, pixelating in and out. Wow.

LIZ: I can't believe we did it. Woo.

JULIAN: Incredible, we did it.

PAZ: We did it, guys.

JULIAN: We won at-- we were the best at being a cat.

LIZ: Game of the year. That's all I ever wanted.

PAZ: Because we were incredibly OP.

JULIAN: I think that was it. It's just that we were RiverClan.

LIZ: Yeah, if we hadn't had that 10 swim.

PAZ: Yeah, I feel like this game seems extremely biased towards RiverClan. I don't agree with that. I don't know. That's pretty good.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think that was good.

PAZ: I'm happy to end there on our victory.

LIZ: Yeah. We've got lots of time for more gaming next time.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: Exactly.

JULIAN: There's a whole universe here on MIT Scratch.

PAZ: There's so many games. How many-- will it show me a page count? No, it will not show me a page count. Or how many there are. But I assure you, there are a lot.

LIZ: Who needs--

JULIAN: Well, we'll have to link that one in the...

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: On the Twitter so that the audience can see if they have any more success as ThunderClan or ShadowClan.

PAZ: Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean, I guess that's gonna do it for us today. Gonna keep going at it with Fire and Ice next week. As always, you can find the show @staircast on Twitter and send in any questions or anecdotes you want to share to stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com. And next week, we'll be reading chapters four through seven. So if you're reading along, that's where we'll be at. And until then, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

[outro music]

[bridgetkat-blog]

Imposter Syndrome

           “You should be an English teacher,” my dad used to tell me.

           And I would respond with something along the lines of, “English teachers get paid shit.”

             I sat in a blue, plastic chair in the front of my Calc AB classroom—one of the only air-conditioned classrooms in my budget-conscious Catholic high school—as my teacher projected a piece of paper onto the front wall. Written on the paper was a distribution of scores earned on the most recent test.

           “One person did get a hundred,” my teacher said as he gave us a run-down of the score distribution. “This is the first time someone has ever gotten a hundred percent on this test.”

           After he had finished discussing the scores, he began passing the graded tests back to the students. After anxiously awaiting the news of my score, he finally handed me my graded test. Bright red ink was scribbled on the top of the paper:

100

           Math was my niche, my safe haven, where I always knew I would succeed. Where I never feared failure.

             I’ve never been good at reading. It was always my lowest-scoring section on standardized tests. I read slowly, and sometimes I realize that I haven’t been paying attention for the last two pages. My eyes scan through the words, but they kind of just go in one eye and out the other. Not only did this make reading difficult for me, but the frustration it caused made reading utterly unenjoyable.

             I come from a family of health-care providers. My father is a physician, my mother is a PA, my uncle and his wife are both physicians, my grandfather is a surgeon, and my older sister is in medical school. My dad could always tell me if I had strep or not. He once used his stethoscope on me at home because I thought I was dying[1]. On another occasion, I had the stomach flu, and he called in a prescription anti-nausea tablet for me—it was that easy. When I had cramps, my mom would tell me, “the prescription dose for ibuprofen is 800 milligrams, so you can take four.” I couldn’t go to the grocery store with my dad without running into four different people that he either worked with or treated. When I got the stomach flu again in college, by parents were able to tell me everything from the best position to lie in to the best over-the-counter medicine to buy.

           There was never any explicit pressure for me to follow in my family’s footsteps, and I never felt any implicit pressure either; health care was just all I ever knew.

             Before I was an English major, I had some pre(mis)conceptions of “The English Major”: obsessed with books, wears big hipster glasses, spends free time reading The Great Gatsby while drinking tea in locally-owned cafés. Has read the entire Harry Potter series three times. Mildly, endearingly socially awkward, but otherwise unremarkable. At one point, I thought people chose to major in English because they weren’t good at anything else. That’s why I was hesitant to become one myself. Why would I be an English major when I’m good at other things – “more useful” things, “more impressive” things? Why would I give people a reason to think I was unremarkable?

             As I approached high school graduation, I never felt confident about what I wanted to do in college. I never felt like thinking about it. I told myself that I knew what I wanted to do just so I could stop worrying about it. I knew I was confident in math, and I was above average in science, so I decided on biomedical engineering—the same major my older sister had already been studying. It just made sense—I could use my talents in math and science, I could be involved in healthcare, and best of all, I could make good money. It made sense, didn’t it?

             I vaguely remember one day in 3rd grade when my class was having silent reading time. My teacher—who I did not particularly like—came over to my desk and told me that I shouldn’t mouth the words while I’m reading. I didn’t understand why doing that was bad, and I still don’t really understand now. I’m not sure if it was solely for that reason or if other evidence was involved, but my teacher ended up making me do one-on-one reading practice with a volunteer parent. This is the earliest memory I have of feeling stupid.

             I went into the semester optimistic—lots of people on my floor were in engineering, my older sister was a tutor in the College of Engineering, and I expected to enjoy all of my classes. But within two weeks, I decided I hated engineering and Engineering Problem Solving I[2]. “Everyone hates EPS 1,” they all said. “It doesn’t mean you hate engineering.” How exactly does one not hate engineering? was my only thought. I stuck with my engineering math class because it was basically just Calc II, and I wasn’t against advancing my math expertise.[3]  

           At this point, I was back at square one. So what the fuck do I do now? I decided to jump right on something else I had considered in the past: physical therapy. I had been interested in it since my senior year of high school[4], so the next semester, I began my work as a major in human physiology on a Pre-Physical Therapy track. It made sense, didn’t it?

             You know those fat literature books you get in middle school? I always read the dumb little stories but hardly could remember what they were about. In high school, I Sparknotes’d my way through Huckleberry Finn and Of Mice and Men. I think I actually read about 50% of To Kill A Mockingbird. And I still got an A in American Lit, presumably because I’m good at bullshitting[5]. I got a 2190[6] on the SAT because, unlike the ACT, there is no reading portion.

              One day — after a year in Human Physiology, a week of shadowing, and semesters full of bullshit classes — I had an epiphany: I fucking hate this. Maybe it was the professors; maybe it was the three-hour labs in windowless rooms; maybe it was the fact that every class made me cry on at least one occasion. But I knew that I hated it. And besides that, how does a painfully shy five-foot-tall girl work as a health care provider, anyway?

           So for the next couple of weeks, I panicked and obsessed over what I was going to do. There I was, a second-semester sophomore, looking to completely start from scratch as I went into my junior year, and the self-reprimanding thoughts began. Can you pick something you actually enjoy for once? This is the rest of your life we’re talking about. Stop letting other people’s expectations make decisions for you and get your shit together.

               But I’ve loved writing since I took my first creative writing class in high school. As soon as I was formally introduced to it, creative writing became my coping mechanism for any and all things. It was my way of sorting out the jumbled thoughts in my head into something I could translate into words. And my composition teacher was constantly astounded by my flawless grammar. So, despite my less-than-ideal track record in reading, I chose to be an English major. Am I actually, diagnosably insane? Probably. But more than a year later, do I regret it? Not even a little bit.

             I need to make one thing clear for those who have the mindset I used to have: English is not easy, or useless, or unimpressive, or unremarkable. STEM students see English as a cop-out major, but ironically, those are precisely the students who are most likely to fail miserably in an English class. STEM is numerical, logical. English is subjective, creative, and abstract. Throw a stereotypical Engineering student into a Chaucer class or a creative writing class, and they are bound to have difficulties. But they don’t think so. They think it’s easy. I’d like to see a STEM major write a three-page paper on four lines of The Canterbury Tales. I’d like to see a STEM major read one of Shakespeare’s Sonnets and even have a clue what it’s talking about. I’d like to see a STEM major write five pages on the symbolism of fire in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. I’d like to see a STEM major read five novels in four weeks. I’d like to see a STEM major take a class entitled “Chaucer” and even make it out alive.

             I don’t read for fun, but maybe I would if I had the time. I don’t read or study in cafés because I can’t concentrate if I can discern nearby conversations. I wear glasses, but only because I need them to see, and contacts make my eyes itch. I’m socially awkward, but neither mildly nor endearingly. I’ve never read The Great Gatsby, or Gone with The Wind, or Great Expectations, or any books of the Harry Potter series[7]. I do drink tea, but only to calm my clinical anxiety.

           I always thought I had to go into math and science because I was especially good at those subjects. To me, there was never even a question of what I enjoyed; what mattered was what I was good at. People always asked me, “Why do you want to be an engineer?” or, “Why do you want to be a physical therapist?” And my answer was always based on the fact that I excelled in math and science, not that I enjoyed those areas. It only dawned on me that I should enjoy my career when I was halfway through college and it all suddenly became real.

           Why had I never considered a career in English, you ask? Because in 21st Century America, a successful career in English[8] is “unrealistic,” a “fantasy.” Doesn’t pay well[9]. Most people don’t even consider pursuing a career in English because it’s generally accepted that it’s not even a valid option, unless you want to be “stuck” teaching or working as a full-time barista, sharing a four-bedroom apartment for the rest of your life. And so what if someone does want that?

           Sometimes I worry about how I’ll be able to teach English if I’m not particularly gifted in reading – literally half of the subject. But then I realize that that is exactly the reason I will succeed as an English teacher. Some teachers are so gifted in their field of study that they don’t know how to help people who don’t understand it immediately. When you’re naturally talented in an area, it’s hard to explain it to someone else. It’s when you actually have to work to learn the material that you understand how to teach it to someone else. The best teachers are the ones who understand how it feels to struggle and know how to help. I’m going to be that teacher for someone.

           But yeah, I’ll probably get paid shit.

 [1] I was not, in fact, dying.

[2] Engineering Problem Solving I, or EPS I, is a core introductory course for all engineering students.

[3] I ended up getting an A.

[4] Throughout high school, I had a chronic muscle knot near my right shoulder blade—a result of cheerleading, show choir, and bad posture. Eventually, it got so bad that I started going to physical therapy. In my efforts to relieve this massive knot, I became infatuated with muscles and how they functioned. And that’s how I got interested in the field of physical therapy.

[5] A lifetime of mandatory religion classes in a Catholic school system gets you good at that kind of thing.

[6] Out of 2400. This is approximately equivalent to scoring a 33 out of 36 on the ACT.

[7] I have seen all of the Harry Potter movies, though; I don’t live under a rock.

[8] Besides teaching.

[9] Includes teaching.

[themusicenthusiast]

Friday, March 3rd, 2017 – Dark Avenue and Redefine Round Out a Topnotch Lineup at The Curtain Club

All photos by Jordan Buford Photography Another Friday night, another stellar (and fairly eclectic) show at The Curtain Club, the five acts that were on tap ranging from rock to metal, each bringing their own distinct flare to the stage this night. While most had just traveled from parts of D/FW to perform this night, This Day Forth had made the trek up from Tyler for what would be their first proper Dallas show in a few years. Taking some of the credit for getting them on this bill would be Dark Avenue, the two groups having performed together in Tyler and then Arkansas over the previous few of weeks, this show concluding their little ‘tour’ together.

Little attention was brought to the fact that TDF was down a member for the show this night, guitarist Travis Hull having other obligations; and it was rather surprising learning that afterwards. They looked incredibly tight as a trio with vocalist David Wilson being the lone guitarist, while bassist Brad Huff and drummer Harrison Rice rounded out the rhythm section. Everything even sounded well fleshed out, not even the slightest of signs that they were missing a crucial component of their lineup as they cranked out about thirty-minutes’ worth of material from their debut LP, Defiance. Only about a dozen or so people milled around the Curtain at that point (because 8:30 is too early to show up to a concert?), though everyone who was there stood transfixed by the hard rock songs that also had a melodic touch about them; the band giving it their all and keeping things as energetic as possible. Huff jumped about the stage at times as he attacked his bass, while Wilson took a step back from the mic when he was able, affording him a few moments to shred.

This Day Forth kicked off the show right, delivering a great set that won over pretty much everyone who was there. They had no trouble holding everyone’s attention, their music having a quality that made it fairly radio-friendly, though it also had an edgy feel. Hopefully they’ll be able to make it back to Dallas a little sooner next time; and for anyone interested they do have a pair of shows lined up at Six Flags in Arlington, TX on March 10th and 11th. The Friday show will see them doing a few performances in the evening, while the Saturday appearances will be in the afternoon. More info on those can be found HERE; and check out Defiance in iTUNES or GOOGLE PLAY.

Second up this night was Idler, the quintet having a whole new set to unleash this night, “Pitch Fork” being the only remnant of the groups’ past era. However, if one of those old songs is going to stick around than that’s the best one to, and it acted as an electrifying opener and sounded more charged than ever, perfect for a brisk set that would be a sheer onslaught of rock. They followed it up with “Lemonade”, after which vocalist Mercedes Ann took a moment to inform the ever growing crowd who they were, before they promptly got back to business. From there on out it was an entirely new batch of songs that this current incarnation of the group has penned; bassist Brooks Campbell and drummer Daniel Meza being the most recent additions to the band.

Maybe it was the unrelenting pace they kept, dishing out the songs at a machine-gun pace, the most dialogue of the night coming when Ann formally introduced her band mates, or perhaps it was the new songs themselves, but something made this the most impressive show I’ve seen Idler put on. You could tell the music had a different kick to it, the new creative input enhancing things. It wasn’t necessarily different from what their fans have come to expect from them, just all around stronger and more refined. Each track had an overwhelming intensity about it with bold guitars and a robust rhythm section, the foundation of which was some pummeling percussion. From the shadows of stage left Nick Laracuente struck his axe with a fury, waving it around in the air at times, while Mykey O'Neil used more precision, picking at his guitar while strolling about stage right.

Their time on stage flew by, each song somehow topping the last and further escalating things as Idler proved themselves a ferocious force. It was an exciting glimpse of things to come, the members’ stage personas and the performance in general being stronger than ever, and while it will surely be a good while, these new songs are going to make for a killer record sometime down the road. In the meantime, keep an eye on their FACEBOOK for news of future shows, and check out their EP in BANDCAMP.

By the looks of it, Redefine was the most anticipated band of the night, seeming to draw the most substantial crowd of the night. It had been the better part of two years since I had last seen them, back as Mike DiQuinzio and Daniel Taylor made their exits, and thus had not seen them with their latest rhythm section. That had been way too long; and a sense of excitement filled the air as patrons hung close to the stage, waiting for the curtain to open. Their 37-minute long set was comprised almost entirely of new(er) material, from 2014’s The Harbinger King EP onward, with “All That Ever Was” serving as the opener and setting an adrenaline-pumping mood. Right off the bat it was noticeable how happy they all were to be back on a stage and playing their music, their enthusiasm making the performance all the more engaging for the spectator. From atop one of their boxes with the word “redefine” illuminated on it Chris Apaliski shredded out his solo; while Scott Headstream brandished the mic stand around in the air at one point, swinging it out towards the crowd even, as if encouraging some singing along.

“…Who’s ready for a good time?!” Headstream asked afterwards. Several cheers answered his question. “We’re Redefine and we’re hoping to deliver,” he added before they broke into the rip-roaring and anthem-esque sounding “Over and Over Again”. With it they cut loose even further, bassist Justin Haber and Apaliski beginning to demonstrate their chemistry as they jammed beside one another; while Matt Jones, partly concealed in the shadows of stage left, shouted out the backing vocals as he picked at his guitar. In just a couple of songs they were already well on their way to establishing themselves as the best band of the night, and as they got to the third, they certainly hit their stride. After commenting what a beautiful crowd he was looking out at, Headstream mentioned the next song was the first one he had ever written with the band after joining them “like, eight years ago”. That song was “The Silent Hum” from The Power Of Persuasion EP, and it stood as the lone “oldie” of the night. Still, if they were only going to play one, than they made sure it was the right one, that song still standing not only as a fan favorite but as one of Redefine’s best songs in general. There’s an undeniable complexity to it, though it’s also accessible to any listener; the quintet’s true prowess being on prominent display as they knocked it out. Only making it better was the fact that a couple pairs of ‘granny panties’ were suddenly thrown on stage, Headstream grabbing one during a breather he got, holding it over his waist, seeing if they might fit. Everyone, both on and off stage, was cracking up.

From there on out it was new stuff, the hard-hitting “Fiction” preceding “Alive In Our Own Way”, which received its live debut on this night. By Redefine standards it was different, even if it was in subtle ways. It was extreme. Surprisingly so even, giving that previous cut a run for its money. However, as much of a rock song as it was, there was a definite jazzy influence to it. Not throughout, though it permeated portions of the song that they all appeared to enjoy playing, Haber in particular. Perhaps the most entertaining part of it came at the end, and instrumental outro closing out the song, during which Headstream bowed out and disappeared from stage… soon joining the audience. He stood front and center with everyone else, watching his band mates as they brought it to a tight finish. “Should we keep it?” asked Headstream over some fanfare, consensus seeming to be it that it was a hit. The frontman then got ahead of himself by just a bit, Jones and Haber working to get his attention and make sure he knew there were in fact two songs left and not just one like he had told the crowd.

With that, Will Hardin opened up “Beware The Bear” with some relaxed though sonorous beats, the song soon transforming into another potent display that boasts some slick guitar work. They really just had one left after that, another pretty new song, “Heartattic”, finishing out their time on stage. In some aspects it, too, sounds different from other Redefine songs, though not to the extent of the song they debuted this night. While mining a similar vein of their past work it also explores a different creative side, the tone of the riffs being different, while some hearty percussion still acts as the foundation. No one would have argued if they had been able to play another twenty to thirty minutes, though with that newer song they wrapped up their time on stage quite nicely. If there’s one upside to having gone so long without seeing Redefine it was the fact that they’ve had ample time to break in Haber and Hardin, who looked and felt like natural fits with the band. Indeed, this latest incarnation was every bit as strong as Redefine has ever been, the five of them having gelled nicely and developed some great chemistry, while the bond between Apaliski, Headstream, and Jones has become more impressive than ever. Their new songs sounded great, reflective of a new era while also being deeply in touch with the bands’ roots; and their stage show was as high-energy as ever, the five of them leaving it all up there. Keep up with news of future shows on their FACEBOOK; and check out their past releases on ITUNES OR GOOGLE PLAY.

Dark Avenue had the next to last slot of the night, taking the stage at 11:27, another eager crowd huddled up against the stage and rocking out as the rock outfit kicked things off with the lead track from Illusions, “No Answers”. They were another act that seemed to be chomping at the bit to be back on stage, bassist Alan Sauls and guitarists Barry Lorberbaum and Andrew Lewthwaite prowling around the stage right from the start, the two guitarists even trading out spots on a couple of occasions this night. Segues bound many of their songs together this night, and even those that didn’t bleed into one another were followed up swiftly with another song, as in the case of “Forget You”, which greatly added to the momentum Dark Avenue was already building up. The aggressive and blistering number saw Lorberbaum, Sauls, and Lewthwaite lining up beside one another as they jammed briefly, while Mario Cadena continued to work the stage, the singer never taking his attention off the spectators as he worked to build a rapport with everyone. As the closing notes rang out, Jeff Hathcock abruptly began another assault on his drum kit, taking them directly into the dynamic “Outside”. “Make some noise!” Cadena requested at one point, that along with the sizzling solos further pumping up the onlookers who at that point were enthralled by the display.

“How we doing tonight?” asked Cadena as they took a quick break, the frontman correcting his wording after first saying they were playing in front of a lot of friends on this night, instead stating that everyone felt much more like family. “We appreciate you,” he stressed in a humbled manner before they took things back to their 2014 EP, Seasons Change, with “In Memory (Of Me)”. It was the first of several offerings they would do from that release this night; the musicians continuing to race about the stage and interact with one another.

Soon after they got to one of the singles from their LP, “Una Vez Mas” having been better received better than I think the band could have even hoped for. Cadena’s voice sounded exceptionally smooth and rich as he delivered the words in Spanish, adding almost an elegant quality to the otherwise unbridled rock song that stood as one of their strongest of the night.

With 37-minutes in all, they still had plenty of time left, ramping things up further with “Aftermath”, which was bridged perfectly into “Last To Know” thanks to Hathcock, who, with a hoodie drawn over his head, was hammering away at his drum kit. That song seemed to come at just the right point, providing a serious spike of adrenaline during what had already been a high-octane show; that track also affording Lewthwaite and Lorberbaum another chance to showcase their chops thanks to some more stellar solos.

“It’s very humbling to be playing with a lot of talent…” Cadena said once that one was finished, taking a moment to thank each of the other acts on the bill. That was when they busted out a surprise, tackling a cover song that wouldn’t have been first on most peoples’ minds. They had retooled George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex” to better fit their harder rock brand, doing more than even just putting their own flare on it but also changing the tone of the song, the way some of the lines were sung, such as the chorus, making it sound more like a demand than a desire. The remaining songs came in quick succession, “Another Day” feeling like a sing along of sorts, those who knew it chiming in at times, while “Sober” was the icing on the cake. What’s arguably Dark Avenue’s strongest song acts as a marvelous closer, or at least it did this night, nicely rounding out what had been a topnotch set as they became yet another act that left everyone hungry for just a little more from them. One of the main things that helps set Dark Avenue apart from other bands (on both a national and local scale) is how intricate they make their shows, keeping everything as tight as possible. You seldom see acts that do transitions the way these guys do, keeping everything near seamless, and that goes a long way in creating a riveting flow that allows their shows to transcend the typical concert experience.

It feels more like a presentation, though their vigorous performance gives it a gritty appearance and ensures it never strays from a display of pure rock. Aiding that is the fact that these veterans of the D-FW music scene all know how to work a crowd, reeling in practically everyone who happens to hear them. They have a few shows lined up over the next couple of months, including one at Gas Monkey Bar & Grill in Dallas on March 18th supporting Adeltias Way. They’ll be in Fort Worth on April 20th at The Ridglea Theater; and on May 26th they’ll be back in Dallas at The Granada Theater opening for Black Stone Cherry. Their complete schedule and more info can be found HERE; and check out their LP in iTUNES or GOOGLE PLAY. The night nearly over, Low Gear closed down the show, a dedicated group of metalheads coming out to see the band’s first show in several months. Per usual, it was an exceptional night of music at The Curtain Club, a few of the bands each being headline quality in their own right, while the others wound up proving they have more than enough potential to fill that spot sometime in the future. The show served as yet another reminder of all the great talent that resides in North Texas and what a stupendous local music scene this region has.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Kado 7 (includes notes on Kado 6.5 + Tsukigakirei 6.5) | Boku no Hero Academia 21 | Grimoire of Zero 7 | Royal Tutor 8 | Tsukigakirei 7

Kado 7 (includes notes on Kado 6.5 + Tsukigakirei 6.5)

Some notes on the recap: It’s interesting they styled the title card to be like a silent movie, but the embellishments in the top corners are high-tech. Tsukigakirei’s recap was a slog because it awkwardly cut, but because of all the indications of time and the fact there’s already a narrator, this show fits a recap style much better (but the titlecards and changing of the eyecatch make this ep feel fresh, which is great!). Also, it seems I was wrong about how it had been three days since Kado’s appearance (see ep 5’s commentary), because the counter hits 5 days when the first passengers are released.

Wait…that “brain” was a device???

“Hi Setten”, LOL. Also, I found out “kado” (with this combo of kanji -> 過度) can mean “excess” or “immoderation”, and “setten” means “settings” or “options”...I first remember seeing the word in the Boueibu game, where “setten” of course would refer to things like “volume on/off” and that.

Apparently, the Google CEO’s name is Sundar Pichai…I thought it was Larry Page and Sergey Brin as co-CEOs, but I guess I was wrong…Also notice Ward’s iPad says “ihou sonzai” (anisotropic being).

Oh flap. Adam’s pulling a Great Fitz here…

I’ve seen the “I can’t dry my laundry!” screenshot before, but seeing it in context is funny all over again. In fact, it makes it even funnier.

I was worried about how the show might get a little too philosophical after ep 6’s end, but it’s good to see Hanamori retains his sleeping capabilities. *stifles laughter* They even rendered Hanamori’s bedhead.

“Kado comes here, and instead of running, they find a way to market it.” – It’s an interesting, yet extremely obvious point that we tend to ignore because we’re so used to it. That’s why tourism – even fake tourism - sells. Why do I bring this up? Because I want to, for one, and because I hope to exploit this angle for Half-Paid Heroes. (I wanna know how to make Kado cake, too…)

CR subbers, I thought Gonno’s first name was “Takumi”?...

That’s cute, it’s a helicopter landing spot, complete with “H” marking.

If I didn’t know any better, I might’ve called Shindo zaShunina’s sidekick. (LOL)

This “stacks of books” scene is something like what I imagined when I wrote White Parasite’s La Luna’s hideout in the mountains…that’s one of the reasons I’ve been able to give Kado and zaShunina an unyielding love. Also, I thought the promo 2D Shunina looked creepy, so this 2D shot of Shunina stole my heart!!!

The cube seats remind me of those child corners in libraries and that, where you have mini stools for playing pretend. Oh. Speaking of which, it reminds me of this Rubik’s cube.

Okay. I thought Kado would be a show devoid of such things, but let’s play the game of “What drugs were the producers on today?”

Okkkkkkkkkay. (stifles laughter) Did you realise the Shunina heads made a heart, with the “real” (existing in the normal dimensions) Shunina in the middle? Hahaha…

Wait. That screaming thing in episode…2, I think it was? The bit where Shindo grabs his head in agony?...was Shunina giving him (Shindo) the sense of the anisotropic? Ahhhhhhhhh. That makes sense now!

“They were good humans.” – Just in case you didn’t forget Shunina is an extradimensional bishie being. I guess it’s kind of along the lines of Kai’s (Royal Tutor’s) “You’re all good boys!”, which is true both there and here. In most cases (except maybe Shunina and Ward), the boys of Kado are good boys.

A bookmark. For an avid reader like Shunina (or myself…haha), it’s a perfect gift. Just make sure they’re not so heavy they fall out of books, because then they’re useless.

They put the festival scene in 2D! (It would be a cost cutting measure for sure, but…you know what I said about 2D Shunina previously? Yeah, that.) Also, it just goes to show you even a high concept sci-fi show like this goes for the jugular in depicting fanservice for the “people who like hot guys” and “people who like tsunderes”. However, did Shunina change his own clothes? Did Shindo or someone else get the yukata for him? Does Shunina even have the concept of “changing clothes”???

Fake Nintendo Switch. I’ve also seen this screenshot making the Tumblr rounds before.

LOL, giant turtle. I like turtles.

Haha, negotiating even at a festival. I LOLled too hard at the line, “What is buttered potato?” (but I also like buttered potatoes…I like a lot of things).

“Saraka-san, zaShunina, you, and the turtle will be in group B.” This typo’s the same case as the Gonno one earlier this ep.

“Are there any negative effects?”

How do you lose an anisotropic being at a festival? I actually hope he isn’t being rabidly devoured by a bunch of girls who think he’s hot.

Just seeing the credits reminded me that Shinawa was absent this ep (which was good). Also, has Natsume appeared in every ep’s credits so far? I don’t remember because I normally don’t watch credits.

Boku no Hero Academia 21

“Sparking Killing Boy”, LOL.

The more I watch Mei, the more I feel like I’m watching The Truman Show (where there’s one woman who advertises things near the beginning of the movie).

The belt transformation refers to sentai heroes.

Hmm…I agree with Deku on Aoyama’s strategy, since his laser is best used from afar.

That was an unexpected (for me) win for Tokoyami. I knew his Quirk was good all around, but I thought Yaoyorozu would win for sure. It’s just the difference in confidence, eh?

“…focussing on the shield Yaoyorozu made.”

I kinda get what Uraraka’s saying. After all, she might end up dragging Deku down one day by relying on him too much.

Grimoire of Zero 7

It annoys me how tavern girl looks so similar to Zero.

Why do fantasy travellers (or Brock in Pokémon, for that matter) never have big packs? You’d think they do…

The colour of the night sky in this episode is pretty.

This wolf’s like Sonic (One Punch Man). Such a sore loser.

Hey wait, did Thirteen see her…uh, assets? Did he dress her wounds?! Eep! I do not ship this. *shakes head*

Royal Tutor 8

Ouch, Licht, you got burnt! On the other hand, I agree with Bruno that he should sleep forever, noting past comments I’ve heard him (Licht) say.

Ah, the zoo. What nostalgia that brings. I’ve been to the closest zoo at least twice…thrice…four times…? I don’t remember anymore, but the zoo is always a fun place.

It’s smiling, ReLIFE style!

Braunbar (with umlaut over the second a) is German for…wait for it…brown bear.

Bunnies can bite you when you least expect it. From my experience, they don’t draw blood though. (How do I know this? There’s one outside my window as I speak. He’s probably someone’s stray, although no one’s come for him so my family have had to take care of him.)

Shut up, Licht! That’s not comedy, that’s just killing time!

I still wonder…how does Kai actually wear that jacket? It must be troublesome to put on if he’s always wearing it like that.

Ahhhh! Dangit, Kai’s too good for words. The only thing that can quell my “fan of bishies” heart is fangirl screaming.

Those “tricks” of yours didn’t work, Licht. Get out. Besides, Bruno, I barely remembered that brick joke.

My heart sank a little when I saw they weren’t using the cheesy live-action version of the ED. Still the next episode looks like it will address some plot-critical things, and I’m worried for Kai because he’s the sort who can’t get over his problems easily. (As a sidenote, a similar tabloid article shtick was used in SGRS, so I welcome this plotline.)

Tsukigakirei 7

Vita Sexualis is a Mori Ougai work, so I’m kinda on edge about it…knowing Bungou’s Ougai, that is.

Why does this ep’s title sound like it should be a Boueibu one instead???

These (mostly still) shots of theme parks just make it seem like the staff are scrounging for money.

According to the omake at the end of one ep, you’re meant to ship Roman with the teacher (as ick as that is), so I can understand why Roman’s on his lonesome.

Stop egging her on, Hira! She’ll get nervous! (I say that because I don’t like roller coasters much.)

I feel like the word “viva” is being overdone, attendant person. Google-sensei says the word means “live (verb)”, so it doesn’t make sense at all.

Hira’s freckles really don’t seem to be a mistake. Also my brain can’t make sense of “sorabune” – the word for ship/boat is “fune”, but it doesn’t become “bune” when attached to another word...not that I know of, anyway.

Yamashina? We’ve never been told Roman’s surname before…

Potori Water, LOL. Parody on Pocari Sweat if you didn’t know that.

It’s nice that they didn’t do the full-on “can on face at aumsement park” thing I’ve come to expect from romances, because Detective Conan kinda solidified that as the norm for me.

The Big O in this case isn’t an anime, it’s a Ferris wheel.

Josei Next Door did a CR article where she suggested people needed to talk to each other more, and while it was on The Royal Tutor, sometimes I wish Akane and Kotarou would talk to each other properly too…welp, I spoke too soon (sort of).Why “sort of”? Because Kotarou is speaking to Hira, but he ain’t speaking to Akane.

I feel a twinge of guilt in that I wanted Chinatsu’s and Hira’s dreams to be shattered to make way for the canon couple, and Chinatsu’s tears exacerbate that feeling. I guess this is what it’s like to be a shipper, eh – to ignore the feelings of couples in order to get your own way, knowing your dreams may not even become reality? (But can’t these kids all be happy??? It could easily be a “pair the spares” situation, now that I think of it.)

The takoyaki’s nice, but that background with the screaming girl is creepy…It appears to be a parody on Beavertails, for some odd reason. Why is there a Canadian product being used as product placement in an anime (and why a product I’ve only ever heard of from a Canadian TV show, to boot)???...*record scratch* Okay, I’m weirded out, and I admit defeat. Beavertails exist in Japan.

Couple selfies. That just goes to show how much trends can permeate culture…hey, does that mean people may one day use memes in anime? (Even though anime creates memes?) It’s meme-ception!

It seems live action footage was used for this show, if you look closely, and it’s not just the OP I’m talking about…

Finally, a part of Tsukigakirei I can get behind! These night scenes are so real! If it weren’t for Kotarou and Akane, I’d think these scenes to be photos and not animation at all.

I get this feeling that we’ll end with either their graduation or them as adults, with Kotarou telling their kids “…and this is how I met your mother.” Which would be awkward as all get out, but okay. (I haven’t seen How I Met Your Mother by the way, although it sounds like a scenario that would happen in it…)

Aw, dangit. They got their kiss interrupted. At least it wasn’t by Chinatsu, that would’ve caused more tears on her end.

Mireta (used in “Did you see the fireworks?”) seems to be an odd formation of mieta, but in slang, people break the grammar rules all the time, so I’d suspect people break the spelling rules too.

I was surprised to find out this ep’s ED LINE chat is a wife to a husband. That confirms my How I Met Your Mother thoughts, somewhat. (The husband had overtime and got the wife juice. It seems they were going to an event, because the wife says to check the invitation guest list...and so on, so forth.)

Oh? There are more omakes? I’ll watch ‘em someday when I’m bored…I guess.

[xoxo-teddybear]

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.7

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+

Ep. Warnings: Smut, Angsty, Cursing, 18+

Summary: Theres been some trouble in the journey to the competition and so class 1-A has to take a quick stop. Things get steamy for the hot couple but is Y/N regretting her decisions?

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

When you opened your eyes, you took notice of the gorgeous stars that littered across the beautiful night sky. The sky itself was a mix of deep, dark, navy blue with hints of purple and white in the mix, creating a gorgeous scenery. The bus had drove far away from the city and its light pollution, giving you the best views you’ve ever scene. Speaking of views, when you turned away from the window, you saw Katsuki resting peacefully. You smiled softly with a warm glow on your face and cuddled in closer to him.

As the drive continued, you felt the bus jump, create a loud noise, and eventually slowed and stop. You looked around and noticed a few other students waking up, along with Aizawa. When he came back from checking on the front, he spoke to the class.

“Alright you rowdy bastards....WAKE UP!” He shouted into the megaphone that woke up every sleeping student, including Katsuki.

“GAH!” Bakugou screamed as he was awaken from his deep sleep. “Geez, your dad really had to break everybody’s eardrums?”

“Ew Suki, don’t call him that.” You laughed out as you both refocused your attention on Aizawa.

“So. There’s been a change of plans. The bus has broken down and we seem to be in the middle of nowhere so we’re gonna have to camp out for a little while. I just got off the phone with the competition advisors and they said they’ll postpone the event until we arrive. So everybody just get comfortable, we’re gonna be here for awhile. For now, can I get Y/N and Rumor up front.” He explained and demanded.

You got up from your seat and whistled for Rumor to follow. You made it up to the front to see him and asked him what he wanted.

“Yes?” You asked with your arms crossed and a tired look on your face.

“Take Rumor and scope the surrounding areas. Look for a place where we can stay and if you can’t find anything, just come back here. We’ll just camp out on the bus until we get some work done to the bus. I’ll call a repair company and see if they can send someone to help us with the bus. Be back here in 20 minutes MAX. Got it?” He said.

You only nodded as you went back to your seat to grab the earring to explain what was happening to the league. When you got there Bakugou asked what happened and demanded to go with you but you reassured him you’d be fine and then kissed him before walking off the bus. Bakugou, still uneasy about the whole thing, went up to Aizawa.

“Hey! Let me at least go with her just in case!” He demanded. Aizawa only rolled his eyes as the blonde before he spoke.

“Bakugou, Y/N is a very capable girl. If she runs into any trouble, she can handle it and if I was that trouble, I’d be the one running away from Y/N. And she has Rumor who can also fight and transform into any animal, mythical or real. They’ll be fine.” He explained.

“Yeah but-“

“Bakugou. I’m sure Y/N has told you about her past already, and so you know that her and Rumor have done pretty well on survival. They’ll be okay. Not get back to your seat.”

“But-“

“Now!”

Bakugou huffed as he reluctantly went back and slouched in his chair. Back with Y/N, she was riding on Rumor in his giant hawk form as they flew around. While in the air, she told the league what happened and said when she arrives at the competition, she’ll send her coordinates and then they can arrive.

As Y/N flown around, after about 15 minutes she found a motel not too far from the bus. She had Rumor turn around and make it back to the bus. When she arrived she noticed the students had all exited the bus and settled around a camp fire they set up nearby. She landed and the class all got excited at the cool sight of Rumor in a different form. Bakugou quickly ran to Y/N and hugged her after he had been worrying for so long.

“You okay? Are you hurt?!” He asked while checking you for any bruising or damaging.

“Suki, I’m fine don’t worry! I’m great actually. Aizawa!” You called out, grabbing your dad’s attention. “Found a motel. Right off of west end. Rumor can bring all of us in about 2 trips on his flying bison form.”

“Great. Then let’s go.” He replied. You laughed as you heard the boys of the Bakusquad get rowdy and excited at the news of another bison ride. The Bakusquad and dekusquad along with Momo and Jirou rode first. You made it there and had Rumor fly back to get the rest of the people including Aizawa and the bus driver.

When you made it back, Aizawa had gone to book everyone’s rooms and you and Bakugou hung out in the corner of the lobby away from everyone.

As you leaned against a wall waiting for the room keys, you took notice of how Bakugou was just smiling with his eyes closed and his hands behind his head as he sat in a lobby chair.

“What’s up with you smiley?” You laughed out as you sat on his lap. He chuckled as he finally opened his eyes to look at you.

“You telling me you don’t remember?” He questioned. You thought about it for a little bit but ultimately came to no answer.

“Remember what suki?” You asked, and Bakugou sat up straight with his hand wrapping around your waist as he got in your face.

“You promised me the next time we get in a bed, you would let me have my way with you. And would you look at that. We’re in a motel, where there are beds, and we all have our own rooms with at least 1 partner.” He explained happily.

“Aha, nice try Suki, but Aizawa definitely wouldn’t let me sleep in a room with a guy let alone someone who is my boyfriend. I’m gonna get paired up with...I think Jirou.” You said with a confident smile.

“Right, and I’m getting paired up with Denki and won’t you look at that, Denki and Jirou are dating! I’m pretty sure Ears wouldn’t mind switching with me so I could spend time with my girlfriend while she gets to hang with her own boyfriend.” He smirked. You realized he was right and your smile dropped as you quickly got up from his lap.

“Nervous? I thought I was the virgin.” He teased. You rolled your eyes at his comment. You weren’t nervous to have sex......you were nervous because this time it was with a guy you love...and that guy was Katsuki Bakugou. He radiates big dick energy.

“Um..no,” you pouted with side eye.

“You hesitated,” he smiled.

“NO I DIDNT!” Bakugou just chuckled at your cute behaviour before he stood up and pecked your cheek.

“Don’t worry princess. I’ll treat you real good. Promise,” he whispered in your ear. The sound of his husky voice went right in between your legs and you could already feel yourself growing wet and becoming a puddle right underneath him. Except you weren’t even underneath him and he didn’t even touch you. The power he holds is....stupid. But, you finally snapped outta your little bitch phase and played his game.

“Fine then,” you said and proceeded to wrap your arms around his neck and whisper in his ear, “better not disappoint...daddy.” You playfully said and walked away with a smirk leaving Bakugou with an open and shocked smile as he watched you go.

Aizawa called everyone over to grab their keys.

“Alright. Boys and Girls will not share any rooms and the opposite gender is not allowed in the other’s room after 10 o’clock,” Aizawa began to call out names and finally got to the end. “Y/N and Jirou, and Bakugou and Kaminari.”

Bakugou looked at Kaminari with devil eyes and growled at him as he tilted his head towards Jirou. Kaminari shook in his place and quickly ran to his girlfriend.

“H-Hey babe! Wanna trade with Bakugou so we can share a room together?” Jirou looked at her terrified boyfriend with a raised brow in confusion.

“Are you okay Denk-“

“PLEASE! PLEASE TRADE WITH THAT DEMON!” Kaminari begged. Jirou and Y/N looked towards Bakugou and then towards Aizawa.

“Okay Jirou, since he’s this scared of Katsuki, I’ll stay with him and you can stay with Denki. Don’t worry about Aizawa, everything will be fine.” Y/N said.

“You sure?” Jirou questioned.

“Mhm! Besides, what kinda girl wouldn’t wanna spend more time with her boyfriend?” You said rhetorically and walked away to Katsuki. “Let’s go, Love.”

“Yes M’am.” Bakugou said as he followed you while looking around to make sure no one noticed. You both walked but remained silent. It wasn’t an awkward silence, more like you both were too excited for what was to come. When you and Bakugou finally arrived at your room, you put the key in as Bakugou continued to be on lookout. When you opened the door, Bakugou pushed you in and shut the door and locked it.

He pulled you in before you could turn around and gave you a hot kiss. His hands roamed your body until they eventually reached your ass to give it a firm squeeze and nice smack. You gasped at the feeling and Bakugou quickly slid his tongue in. Your tongues glided across each other as you tugged at Bakugou’s hair. You swear, if you didn’t know him and this was just a one-night, you would think he’s already had experience. Bakugou separated from your lips the slightest bit just to tell you to “jump.”

You wrapped your legs around him as he carried you to the bed and placed you down. He continued the kiss and unbuttoned your school top and removed your tie. You did the same to him as he groped your chest, massaging the plump flesh through your lace bra. He pulled off your skirt and then discarded his own pants and went to kiss your neck.

You moaned at the feeling of his tongue as he sucked on patch after patch leaving purple marks that would definitely show in the morning. While on your neck he removed your bra and panties and his hands quickly went to feel your exposed body. He backed away to stare at the sight of you. He bit his lip as he took notice of your breast and naked body.

“Perfect,” he whispered to himself as he stared and touched. You giggled at his compliment and pulled him in for a few pecks before flipping him over and straddling his lap as he sat up. “Yes Princess?”

“I promised you a good first time. Let me keep my word, Suki.” You smiled at him as he did the same to you.

“Fine then. Show me a good time.” He smirked at you and tilted his head back on the headboard. You smirked and pulled down his boxers to reveal his giant length. It stood erect with an angry red tip that was begging to be satisfied. You stared at it in awe. You already knew he was big..but this size was ridiculous. Not only had he had a long length, he was thick too. Extremely girthy. Bakugou smirked as he realized you were too distracted with his size that you didn’t continue anything.

“Hey Princess, you gonna stare or suck?” He asked with a grin. You gave him a little “hmph,” as your hand went right to his tip, using your thumb to rub around his slit. He groaned and sighed at the feeling of your tiny hands on him as you noticed his little blush adorn his face.

“You doing okay Katsuki?” You asked with sass as you pumped his cock, causing him to loudly gasp at the change of speed and pleasure.

“F-Fuck...this is nothing Princess,” he seethed out. You tilted your head and smirked as you went down to kiss his tip. You kissed his length up and down as you felt him shake at the feeling. Once you reached the bottom, you licked his shaft up to the top causing him to moan. You finally took his tip in your mouth and swirled your tongue around him. You swallowed his pre-cum and finally went down on him, taking as much you could.

“O-Oh fuck! Shit..shit baby,” he said as his hand went to your head and he threw his head back. You bobbed your head up and down and gagged on his dick, making music that was perfect to Bakugou. You used your hand to pump whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth and soon felt Bakugou thrusting his hips up the slightest bit. You moaned as his dick sat in your throat causing vibrations to consume his entire length.

“Fuck-fuck!” Bakugou said and his hand on your head moved you up and down, controlling the speed of your movements. You moaned louder as tear puddles began to fill your eyes. Your hands, no longer needed to pump the rest of his cock, went to fondle his balls as he groaned louder.

“Shit...suck my dick just like that Princess. Mm..you want me to blow my load right down your throat! Wanna taste my cum?” He teased. You moaned even more in agreement as you took control again and began to speed up even more.

“Ohh! God! I’m close! I’m so close baby...mm I’m gonna cum down your throat! OH FUCK! I’m gonna cum!” Bakugou screamed out and soon you felt his warm seed shoot down your throat. You tasted his cum all over your tongue and savored the salty-sweet flavor. “You like that? Mm, you like the way daddy taste on your tongue?”

You pulled of him as he quickly went to pump his own cock to bring it back to life.

“Open,” he demanded and noticed all the cum sitting in your mouth. He smirked at the sight and then spoke, “swallow it.”

You smirked as you shut your mouth and swallowed it all. You opened your mouth to show him it was all gone and he smiled as he bit his lip.

“Happy?” You asked while getting close to his face.

“Very.” He smirked as you both went in for another kiss. You straddled him once more and he aligned himself up with your entrance. You felt his tip slide across your cunt and you moaned in his mouth.

“Excited?” Bakugou said with a grin.

“Please Katsuki, please just fuck me!” You breathed out. He smiled against your lips as he slammed you down on his cock.

“FUCK!” You cried out with your head thrown back as Bakugou admired the sight. You weren’t even prepped so you were tighter than ever as your pussy swallowed him whole. You bounced on his cock as you cried and moaned. He grabbed a hold of your ass as he smacked it from time to time.

“Shit baby...yeah bounce on that cock. You like it? Like having a giant dick deep inside your pretty little pussy?” He said with a deep voice.

“Yess Suki. Mm, fuck me just like that!” You cried out. Bakugou wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his feet flat on the bed as he lifted you up and down while he thrusted his hips up into you. The speed and strength of his thrust threw you into a haze.

“Oh my goddd! Yes Katsuki! Y-yes! So big..f-fuck!” Your hands went around his neck so you could support yourself as Katsuki’s thrusts never stopped. “Oh fuck daddy I’m gonna cum!”

“Yeah? Gonna cum? Spill it on my cock so daddy can fill you up!” He demanded.

“Yes! Yes! Yessss! Shit! Katsuki..Katsuki! Don’t stop! YES!” You screamed as you came and spilled it all over his cock. Katsuki didn’t stop though. He continued till he came and he came hard.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...ARGH!!” Katsuki shouted as he spilled his load deep inside you. He moaned out as his warm cum filled up your womb. He fucked himself through both your orgasms and he finally slowed down. You were still sitting on his dick as a mix of both your releases spilled out of you and onto the bed. You both settled as you both came down from your highs, however you both didn’t separate. Katsuki still released groans and broken sighs as he relished in the feeling of his first time.

You were exhausted but you wanted to take control. You weren’t the virgin, but Katsuki made you look like the newbie. You had to be the last one standing. As Katsuki laid against the head board still moaning softly, you placed your hands on his shoulders and began to bounce again.

Katsuki’s head snapped up as he realized what you were doing and he already came twice. This was his first time and if you kept going, he would feel his third high approaching soon.

“N-No! No baby! P-lease! Please it’s too much! AH FUCK! Ohh god! S’too sensitive,” he cried out as he sobbed in overstimulation. He felt euphoric but it was too much for his first time.

“Oh c’mon daddy, you got this. I want you to fill my pussy one more time. Please?” You said with a sweet seductive voice. Bakugou looked at you with pleading eyes as they filled with little tears due to the immense pleasure.

“I- I can’t princess! Fuck it’s too much!” He argued. You only smirked and encouraged him to pull through as you continued your bouncing. Bakugou continued to blab out moans and cried as his mouth hung open. He let out sobs of euphoria as he shook. You went in to kiss him and this time your tongue dominated as Katsuki became a total sub beneath you. Bakugou moaned into the kiss sharply before he pulled away.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum! Babyy! ....Fuck!” He cried out.

“Cum inside me Katsuki, fill me up please,” you begged. You bounced harder until Katsuki’s body stilled as his cum filled you up just like you asked.

“Fuuuuucckkk, shit....hah....mmm,” he moaned as he finished. Your legs shook from the feeling as you both were now officially done with Katsuki’s first time. After a minute to catch your breaths, you pulled off his cock and cuddled into Katsuki as he weakly wrapped his arms around you. You both were still breathing heavily but you had smiles on your faces as your minds were in a daze. A fuzzy aura surrounded you both as you finally settled. Katsuki pecked your forehead before he spoke.

“That was amazing.” He sighed out with closed, satisfied eyes. You giggled at his reaction as you smiled at him.

“Definitely.” He smiled down at you as he covered you both in the blanket and tucked you guys in. He planned on getting some rest and you went to follow as he hugged you close. You rested on his chest and you both relaxed in silence. Soon enough, you noticed Katsuki had fallen asleep and you smiled as you messed with his soft hair. You looked at the time and saw it was 11:47. Soon would be time for the competition.

You frowned and your eyes went wide. You just took Katsuki’s virginity. And tomorrow, you would be the reason the league would attack his school, his friends, his idols and teachers, and other schools. You sat up from his chest and you covered your mouth with both hands to hide your sobs. Katsuki remained asleep after he exhausted his energy, and didn’t wake up. You were thankful for that but tears fell as you dropped your head down and cried.

How could you do this to him? He loved you. He wanted you to be his first. He put his all in you and you’re paying him back like this! Granted, you loved him too, but you would have to break his heart in the end.

“I’m so sorry....I’m so sorry Katsuki.” You said and fell to his chest, silently crying. Katsuki still didn’t wake up, too deep in his sleep to be aware of anything. He couldn’t hear your quiet sobs or feel your hot tears as they fell on his sculpted chest. That night, you cried yourself to sleep again. Out of all the things you could’ve done, this was the worst. Your tear stained cheeks rested against Katsuki’s chest as you drifted off into slumber, fearful and anxious of the upcoming events.

“I’m sorry...”

——————————————————————————

You both woke up that morning, one completely engulfed in blissful happiness and one filled up with an anxious feeling. Bakugou smiled as he looked down at you, completely nude and covered in his markings. He could definitely get used to that feeling of pride he felt when he saw you adorned in...well, him.

After a few minutes of cuddling, you both decided it was time to get ready. You both took a shower together and you tried to laugh as much as you could, but you couldn’t help but let a few moments of fear and sadness slip out. As you got dressed and made your way to the lobby to meet with everyone again, Bakugou took notice of your behavior.

“Princess? You feeling okay?” He asked. You looked at him with worried eyes but your mouth covered it up.

“Mhm! I’m okay, Suki. Don’t worry.” You said. Bakugou didn’t believe it and even though he didn’t know what it was, his mind thought the worst and thought I had something to do with him.

“Umm..was it me? Do you...regret what happened last night?” He asked. You looked up at him in shock and you started to realizing a pattern. Bakugou always thought it was his fault whenever you were upset, and that just made your heart ache.

“Suki, you never upset me at all. I don’t regret anything with you, especially not last night. It was the best night of my life and being with you is the best decision I’ve ever made. Stop blaming yourself, okay hero?” You reassured him. He smiled at your words and appreciated them, but he knew you were still upset about something and weren’t telling him.

“If you’re upset about something, you can talk to me...okay?” He offered.

“I know. That you for that.” You said. He pulled you in for a comforting hug and you sighed in relief as you welcomed his touch. You hugged him back much tighter than usual.

“I love you,” he whispered softly in your ear as he held you. Your eyes almost filled with tears but you fought them.

“I love you more.”

—

Back on the bus, the people of UA continued their journey to the competition. Each second inched you closer and closer to what could possibly be the end of the UA you’ve come to love. Somebody, something, is going to encounter something bad. They’ll either go missing...or worse. And it’ll be your fault. You thought about the friends you’ve made, the new father you’ve acquired, and the amazing relationship with Bakugou that you’ve been blessed with. Everything’s about to change.

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 3 "Like Hun....Drink Some Chamomile and Take a Chill Pill" - RTP

COLIN

RED ALERT. 

RED ALERT. [3/2/17, 8:38:33 PM] Trevor: So ummm... I'm gonna go WHAT THE HECK. DOES HE GOTTA DO THIS 22 MINUTES BEFORE THE DEADLINE. LIKE WE CAN'T EVEN REALLY TALK ABOUT IT NOW AS AN ALLIANCE. WHAT IS HE DOING. WHY IS HE DOING THIS. WHAT THE HECK. OH MY GOD I NEED TO FIGURE OUT IF I'M GONNA GO NOW. OKAY REAL TALK IM NOT AND WILL NEVER BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY LOYAL BUT STILL. WHAT THE HECK

DUNCAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovnWp1YTRcA&feature=youtu.be To sum it up in three main points: 1. Im happy to be playing with Owen again 2. Im also just ecstatic in general to play in Ahena again, regardless of the outcome 3. On 3/2/17, at 6:25 PM, Unkie Dunkie wrote: > Fuck me up fam I’m ready to play

JD

Oh my god! What the hell's going on over there that would make them want to come here?? Three people came here, one kinda by accident sure but like... Really? We are a sweet ass tribe but like... Really? It's like someone from London moving to come ' little town ' with only 7000 people there. Something doesn't fit. I don't like it. 

RTP

Ok so we won the challenge which was awesome. I was the only one on my tribe not going to the labyrinth so fuck me eh. i feel pretty good with my ol boys alliance of matt david me and owen. hopefully we can stick it out for a while

then two people quit from odysseus and im like yasssss more ppl gone....and then there is a mutiny. i wanted to mutiny so bad just for the drama, but no one else from my tribe wanted to do it and im not gonna be the dumbass that mutinies by myself...nuh uh..... and then three people from olympus ended up on odysseus...haha omg wtf...im shocked trevor went to lydia and not to me and owen...hmm....im sus of that so now we have this reward challenge...and i make a totally normal comment like...oh hey maybe the people competing should have good survivor knowledge since the challenge is ya know...guessing survivor contestants...and duncan is like YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW SURVIVOR TO WIN THIS....like hun....drink some chamomile and take a chill pill....no technically you dont...but it sure as hell makes it easier....i guess duncan is my first target on this tribe if we lose again....whatever...bye

ROB

Yikes I doubt I made one last round. I'm basically going to rely on my Bangladesh people. I love Logan and Eddie, so they're the perfect people to work with. I like Colin too, I just need to talk to him more. Two people quit and there was a mutiny offer afterwards. Three people from my tribe mutinied when we were literally dominating challenges, sort of. We hadn't lost yet. Trevor, Sam, and Isaac were people I was wary of, so I know that I can't trust them at all since they're obviously not wanting to work with me. I know I'm not talking much, but still. Reward is basically going to rely on me since Logan and Colin aren't well-versed in Survivor and Eddie is MIA. Rip me. If we lose immunity, I feel like Colin will be the person leaving. He's literally the odd man out. Don't know if he knows it. Hopefully, at least, and in my mind. Sorry Colin. I'm screwed.

COLIN

I think I've written more confessionals for the first three rounds of this game than I did for all of PI: Malibu. Oops. But anyway.... that mutiny WHEW. Fuck those guys huh. We went from the ONLY tribe with all 7 members to......... 4 members. I knew Trevor was leaving and I lowkey had a feeling Sam and Isaac MIGHT but still for them all three to leave is such a kick in the face. That alliance between me, Logan, and Trevor lasted not even 24 hours. Not even ONE DAY yall. Hopefully we can slay these next two immunities so we don't have to go to tribal, because that would honestly suck. At least Logan and I have half the vote so that makes me feel a little bit safer, but still without majority and with the possibility of a rock draw/fire making challenge (idk how it would work if it ties) this could be devastating to my game. Anyway, thanks Trevor, you fucked over the person who trusted you the most.

ROB

Hosts are furious.

Immunity went well, bless. At least I hope so.

COLIN THIS IS MY OFFICIAL APPLICATION TO JOIN THE LOGAN FAN CLUB.

Y'all don't even know how much I love Logan. Like I am so glad I got put on a tribe with them and actually got kinda close with them. They're such a sweetheart and so easy to talk to. They are WINNING this season KNOW that. Literally my entire tribe is so cute and sweet now?? Now that the uglies and traitors have left we're all cute and adorable. God I really just hope we don't have to go to tribal at all before the swap. If I have to vote anyone on this tribe I'll cry.

ROB I think I've become the leader of the tribe. I don't want to be, but Eddie is barely here and I don't think Logan and Colin would step up to do challenges and stuff. I like everyone in the tribe and I don't want to lose these immunity challenges. The mutineers will be the first to die. Lying sucks, I'm not positive if I said yet if Sam told me he was NOT going to mutiny.

RTP

Ok so heres a pre-immunity results confessional. so my Ye Ol' Boys Club alliance is going pretty well. it doesnt seem like we are gonna be best friends but we all know its good for numbers and after that first tribal we trust each other. so that seems good for now. and knowing that we are swapping in two rounds is keeping us all from doing anything shady so that when we swap we dont have to worry about each other turning on us. that being said.... in our foursome i feel like i naturally get along with owen the best...hes the easiest for me to talk to...granted i feel pretty comfortable with all three of them....but matt just gave me some tea about the labyrinth and told me that he wasnt telling owen or david. now i have known matt for a long time and i was there for his matt fucking summers days....but i know matt has grown and thats not how he plays anymore but that reputation will never go away...there is a trick to keeping matt on your side....treat him with respect and trust what he says....if youve been friendly and honest with him he will do the same to you...and the second you question or belittle him youre as good as shit because he is already plotting your demise...hmm...treat someone with respect what a concept huh. not only that, but this makes me feel like i have a good #1 ally with matt and a good #1 ally with david. as much as i love owen i know damn well hell turn on me before trevor...and i wouldnt hold that against him...hes a good ally for numbers rn...and it helps in case i swap with trevor and can stick with him too....but i feel more secure knowing i have david and matt on my side and they are closer with me than with owen....i dont really wanna lose...but voting duncan out rn would feel pretty good...hes made some snarky comments to me a couple of times and thats really my biggest criteria for wanting people out....you sass me you get my vote

LOGAN

anyway i wanna die but yay! no loss, and im safe one more round. prayin they vote off trevor. i dont trust you.

ROB

Rob: is there an edgic? Jay: yes Rob: thanks Then I better get positive tone this episode

COLIN

OMG YES WE DID THAT. ok why am I saying we. ROB DID THAT. HE TRULY DID. MY DAD MY KING MY ICON LOVE HIM. Omg I'm so happy we don't have to go to tribal. Now we just gotta survive ONE MORE ROUND before the swap, I'm sure we can pull it off. Wish us luck <3 <3

ALI

The plan for tonight is Crow... I feel like all is going to plan, as far as I know everyone has told me they're voting Crow, bar Ryan (whose told other members of my alliance that he is) and Scott the Silent. I just lied to Crow, and feel bad, but he seems too dangerous... Also, my alliance is now me, JD, Trevor and Lydia, but I'm also close to Isaac and Sam. I feel super in control for now... I for some reason get the impression I'm about to be idoled out, but c'est la vie

TREVOR AND LYDIA

https://youtu.be/UnL6LElg4ZY

ALI

I'm super nervous for tonight. Its like 'Baby's First Blindside'- its very exciting! Anywho, I love my 'The Leal Jousewives of Atlanta' alliance (Trevor,JD,Lydia and I) and I'd hate to be idoled out, when I'm lined up so well! :(

CROW

Ugh, I have a gut feeling that it's probably me tonight, but I have been told otherwise.......lesson learned: don't try and play two games at once xD I am voting for Scott because I know he's the person most likely (behind me) to get targeted/exiled from the tribe. My strategy (although it may look like I don't have one) was to test out the "Anybody but me" strategy, but it doesn't look too good right now... Maybe I'm just paranoid and it'll be 8-1 against Scott, but I have a feeling there's scheming going on that will likely result in my elimination. If I survive this, I pray there's a tribe swap so I can effectively redo my social game LOL, if not, well.....I'll just have to scrap along!

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158048895251/tribal-council-2

[emisfritish]

Our gift to the world - Episode 5

Summary: Episode codas of an established Pang/Wave in The Gifted Graduation. Episode 5- Divide and conquer is clearly the technique the anti-gifted and the school are going for in this fight, and unfortunately no one is immune to that, not even Pang/Wave.

Notes :  This one is split between two scenes. First scene is right after Punn tells Wave about his idea, and the second scene is the continuation of the their rooftop scene.

Previous parts : Ep.1 /  Ep.2 / Ep.3 / Ep.4

Next parts : Ep.6 / Ep. 7 / Ep. 8

Series on Ao3

- 

“Pang,” he hears Wave say from behind him, and he can’t hold the sigh that escapes him. 

Not again. 

He’s still reeling from the screaming match that they both had in the middle of the school hallway not even 15 minutes ago, and he just… He doesn’t want to get back into it with Wave. Not right now. 

“Look, I know you’re mad at me. But we have to deal with this, and Punn has an idea.”

Pang doesn’t even turn around to answer, irritation at his boyfriend still flaring inside of his body. 

“Not now, Wave,” he says resigned, and he hears Wave exhale loudly. 

“We don’t have the time for this, Pang,” Wave replies, clearly irritated. “Claire is going to use her gift to read all of our emotions and see who might be the traitor amongst us, and I think you should be there when it happens.”

At the words, Pang whips around to face his boyfriend, staring at him incredulously.

He feels the anger rise inside of him when he sees the deadpan way Wave is staring at him. As if suggesting that one of them use their power to investigate the others isn’t somehow one of the worst ideas they could have had. 

He can’t believe that Punn would come up with such an idea, and he can’t believe that both Wave and Claire would willingly go through with it either. 

“What, are you out of your mind ? This is insane !” he screams again, and he sees Wave jump slightly at his raised voice. “Reading people’s minds, our friend’s minds on top of this, just to prove that none of us is a traitor is just plain wrong. No one in our group did this !”

“Do you have a better idea ? Because running away isn’t going to cut it this time,” Wave says coldly, and Pang can’t believe this is what they’re turning to right now. 

“I’m telling you none of us could be responsible for this !” he shouts again, which finally prompts Wave’s cold façade to drop as the other man walks into the room fuming. 

“Pang, the evidence is all right there ! Why are you insisting on ignoring the obvious when it’s right in front of your nose ?” His boyfriend shouts back, frustration clear in his voice. “There’s a moment where loyalty can turn into stupidity, and you know it !”

And wow… that hurts. 

Pang knows Wave, and he knows how his boyfriend operates. He knows that the only reason why Wave is being this cruel is because the other boy is scared right now, and that when that happens, his way of reacting is always to bring back up all of his walls to protect himself. 

Still, the words hurt, and he can’t help but lash out in return. 

“Wow, so me being loyal to our friends, loyal to you, is me being stupid now, is that it ?”

He can’t believe that this is what Wave is actually implying. Not Wave, of all people. 

He sees his boyfriend open his mouth, probably to deny the accusation that this is what he was implying, but before he has the time to, Pang continues. 

“And what about you Wave, then. What does it say about you that your first reflex when things get rough is to turn against your so called friends and accuse them of something like this. Can you even call them your friends after this ?!”

Pang sees the hurt cross Wave’s face at his words, and he instantly feels guilty about what just came out of his mouth. 

He’s worried, and he’s stressed out. They all are. But that’s no reason to belittle Wave’s friendship with the others, especially when he knows how sensitive his boyfriend still is about the subject. 

He doesn’t think Wave is being rational right now and he hates what he’s implying, but Pang still feels like an asshole for using his boyfriend’s worst fear to make a point in an argument. 

Before he has the time to take the words back though, he sees Wave take a deep breath, before his face closes off entirely, going back to the cold and unbothered front he usually presents the world, but never uses with Pang of all people.

“You know what, maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m selfish, and a jerk, and maybe this means I don’t trust my ‘so called friends’,” Wave replies coldly, and Pang feels the guilt grow in his stomach at his boyfriend using his own words against him. “But if there is even the slightest chance that the person responsible for this is amongst us, then you can be sure that I’m going to make sure that they can’t hurt you anymore, any of you ! And if that makes me an asshole, then so be it.”

With those words, Wave storms out of the room and Pang immediately feels empty and guilty. 

He hates fighting. And while the sentiment is true with anyone, it’s even worse when it’s a fight with his boyfriend.

Him and Wave may not see eye to eye on this issue right now, but he still feels sick at the way they just spoke to one another, and he can’t accept that this is what this entire situation is turning them into.

Before he can attempt to fix this though, Pang knows that he has some thinking to do. He doesn’t know how it all came to this, but clearly someone is responsible for hurting his fellow Gifted students, and they can’t just stand idly by.

--------

“I’m sorry,” Wave says quietly a couple hours later. 

They’re still on the roof after their conversation, Wave seated defeatedly on the stacked crates and Pang leaning against the wall, facing him. 

Things aren’t okay yet, but after Monn called him to tell him that none of them had seen Wave in close to an hour, there was no way he was going to ignore his boyfriend any longer. 

And of course, this is where he found him. On the roof of the school where they shared so many important conversations. Their roof. 

Pang frowns at the words, not understanding what his boyfriend is apologizing for. 

After the talk they’ve just had, shouldn’t he be the one to apologize instead ?

Not only is it becoming more and more obvious that one of them could actually be to blame and that Wave was right all along, but Pang is also indirectly responsible for all of the doubts Wave just voiced a couple minutes ago resurfacing. He hates that he’s managed to hurt his boyfriend enough to bring back up all of his insecurities with one single fight. 

‘You don’t have to believe me, but I love all of you.’ 

Those had been Wave’s words, and with this single sentence he managed to completely break Pang’s heart. 

Because of course, he believes it. How could he not ? 

Wave can appear cold and uncaring, but in the months during which all of them have been working together, it’s been more than apparent that Wave cares for all of them. And yet, Pang somehow managed to make him doubt that. He would do anything to be able to take the words back.

Wave clears his throat, remiding Pang that the other boy is probably waiting for some sort of acknowledgement of his apology. However, he continues speaking before Pang can actually say anything back. 

“I know that you hate the idea of one of us being the cause for all of this. I do too,” he says defeated. “But what I hate even more, is the idea that me remaining blind to the fact could actually cause anyone harm, especially harm to all of you.”

And Pang gets it. Truly, he does. Because he might have exclaimed the contrary when they were fighting, but he knows that all of them are Wave’s friends, and that he has to hate this situation as much as Pang himself does. 

Still, Wave has always been the more pragmatic one between the two of them. The head while Pang is the heart, and he wouldn’t have been Wave if he had kept his doubts silent, not when they were supported by data. 

“That doesn’t excuse what I said though,” he continues when Pang still hasn’t said anything, too lost in his thoughts. “I don’t think you’re stupid, and you being this loyal is the only reason why you forgave me after everything I did in the past. It’s one of my favourite things about you. I shouldn’t have…”

He trails off, prompting Pang to stand forward and take quick steps until he is standing right in front of Wave. He can’t let his boyfriend take all the blame for their fight and the words they traded, not when they both said some pretty awful things to one another. 

“I’m sorry too,” he whispers, and Wave lifts his head from where it was still facing the floor to look up at him instead, emotion evident in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have implied that you stating the obvious means that you don’t see us as friends, I know you love all of us.”

Wave nods, seemingly silently accepting his apology, before a bitter smile crosses his face. 

“Well after what happened earlier with Claire, it’s entirely possible that I’ll end up losing all of my friends. So you may end up being right after all.”

“Wave,” Pang says, his voice breaking, before he tugs Wave towards him and hugs him. Both of his arms go around Wave’s shoulder to bring the other boy closer to him, in spite of him still being seated on the crates, while Wave’s arms weave around his waist. 

He feels his boyfriend’s head nest into his neck, and he tries to do his best to ignore the wetness he can feel against his skin.

“That’s not true. We’re all here. I’m still here, and you’re not losing anyone.”

He tries to instill as much confidence as he can in the words, wanting to make sure that Wave actually believes the reassurance, although knowing his boyfriend he knows that it’ll take more than a few words to erase the doubts plaguing him entirely. 

“I think you’re right, and the one responsible for the virus is one of us. And if I came to this conclusion, then I think the others probably have too, as much as they may try to deny it. But more than that, even if you had been wrong ? They’ll forgive you Wave, because that’s what friends do.”

Wave’s arms hold him tighter from where they’re still surrounding his waist. 

“What about boyfriends then ?” Wave finally whispers in his neck. “Do they forgive each other for saying stupid things ?”

At the words, one of Pang’s hands moves up to Wave’s head, weaving into his hair so he can bring the boy even closer to his body, before he bends his head down so he’s next to Wave’s ear. 

“Always,” he whispers, before he presses a kiss to Wave’s temple. “I love you.”

He feels Wave whisper the words back against his neck more than he actually hears them, and he holds his boyfriend even tighter in response. 

After a few minutes, Pang finally sighs sadly and he backs off from the embrace, although he lets one of his hands resting on Wave’s neck, needing the physical contact to ground him. 

“Are you ready to go back down and deal with all of this ?” Wave asks him, looking up towards him from his perch on the crates. 

“No,” Pang answers him truthfully, with a sad smile. “But we should go anyway.”

Wave nods, before he stands up from where he was still seated and makes his way to the door. Right as he reaches it, he turns back towards his boyfriend and smiles sadly at him, before he reaches towards him with one of his hands, offering it to Pang. 

Pang hastens his steps until he reaches Wave, and he grabs the hand offered to him in one of his own. 

The next few hours are going to be hell, and he has no idea what’s actually going to happen and who might be behind this. 

But at least, he doesn’t have to carry all of it alone.

He squeezes Wave’s hand in his own, before they both move forward in unison, ready to face whatever happens next.

[keithcurrams]

Grandma Eat Me Out (a misheard lyric in the middle of Longford)

I’d arranged over Facebook some weeks prior to accompany Dundalk’s Third Smoke into the Transmission Rooms Recording Studio as they worked on their EP. I came across them at last year’s Vantastival festival and they absolutely blew me away. We’d chatted a few times back and forth on messenger, but it wasn’t until the Tuesday before the session that I actually spoke with Hugh (lead singer) on the phone and got the full rundown on the plan for the weekend. Rocking in Saturday morning, working until late that night and another 8 hours on Sunday doing overdubs.  Two days’ work for one track. The plan was to catch the atmosphere of them all playing together, to get the interaction and buzz in the room down on the takes.

Previously I’d been with El Hígado No Existé in a dingy disused factory in Waterford using manky mildewed mattresses for baffles, and then the pristine subterranean cavern of Temple Lane Studios with Susan O’Neill and the Low Standards. This was something different, and it’s incredible for these guys to allow me access during the recording process. They don’t know me, we’ve spoken only a handful of times and they’ve seen my images. And on the strength of that here we are in Longford’s Transmission Studios at the most sensitive and expensive time for a band.

Amy and I decided to make a weekend of it. Friday travelling, Saturday me in the studio with the band while she watched the rugby. The rest of the time to be spent sightseeing. We gave the car some love with fresh oil and €35 of fuel and we got on the road around 2pm Friday. 

The light shifted, the day dimmed and we neared our destination. Heading west now towards Mullingar, fields and trees stretched away to meet a soft yellow pastel sunset which suddenly gained intensity as the sun dropped low below the edge of the cloud blanket above. Trees and grass hued amber on the bank to the right, everything else sepia and shade. This golden hour of travel gave way to high contrast dusk driving, headlight and lamplight. Eight counties later we arrived in Leitrim to a warm welcome and a warmer cottage, a spread of homemade bread, scones, cream and jam left on the table for us by the owners.

Sunset over Lough Owel

The following morning we set off on the 35 minute drive to the studios. One very grumpy dog and an hour later we were still driving up and down the roads between Drumlish and Ballinamuck trying to locate where exactly the studios were. We pulled in to a wider part of the road outside a house to consult the map, moments later a lady appeared out of nowhere, a much friendlier dog in tow. We were literally 50 yards from the studios, two unassuming bungalows tucked in behind a high ditch and a bent stop sign. Self-catering cottage on the left, studio on the right.

We parked up and I approached the one that looked less like a residence, and could hear faint piano music. Niall the pianist saw me first and came to meet me at the door, Hugh appearing moments later to show me the lay of the place and introduce me to the band & engineer sat inside the control room.

The studio was like a thrift store of rock ephemera. Amps stacked by the door, 3 high and 2 deep, a rack of guitars tucked In between the piano and the wall, behind that a rack of keyboards . Framed posters, Signed set lists and albums, Shane McGowan and Geldof staring out at us from the cover of mid 90’s editions of NME and Hotpress, Some framed with inserted scraps of autographed paper, the blu-tack holding it in place staining the page with old oil. Song books and Osbournes bobbleheads, the smell of incense.  Down the right hand side glass windows and a sliding door isolated the control room where the band was sat. From the rear of the studio the sound of bags being unzipped, rustles and hard clink as Karl Odlum moved around setting up mics. From the control room the searing roar of a soccer match on a laptop could be heard, over this were snippets of a piano refrain, discussions about tempo changes and the thock of a digital metronome. 

The day drifts. The room is patient. The stones in the wall older than the shape they’re cut to and vibrating with their own low frequency. Nothing is expected, this is a place to do your best with the time you have. The slow preparation & discussions on how to shape the sound, Hugh and Karl teasing out various issues with the different members. In and out, back and forth, adjust, tweak. Looking around now the floor is full of cables and the energy is slowly winding up. The wait hungers the appetite.

Chris and Hugh talking it out

This is a RAW space, where musicians are naked and their work is in pieces, an engine disassembled and each part scrutinised then tested for optimum performance.

It is fascinating to see how the parts of the song fit and run in this machine that idles in the minds of the band. I catch elements of what I loved from their live performance in the snippets they play through while setting up, a building power that is reigned in at the last, the energy of the track circling back into itself rather than exploding  out.

Joe, Tim and Hugh

A jag pulls up and all I can see from my position through the vignette of the studio door is a leopard print glove reaching from the interior. This as it turns out, is Mary, the Ban an Tí who I met when I went in to the cottage to make a cuppa for myself. She had swapped her print gloves for marigolds, to take out the bin and sort the recycling. Chatting with her briefly she told me how her family is 300 years on the land, and that her 2 sons set up the studio. Karl had joked upon my arrival that we’d be the talk of the area, driving up and down like that. I mentioned to Mary the trouble we’d had finding the place and she said she responded “Oh yes, I’d had a text alert that someone was looking for me”.

It is nearly 4pm now. The studio has bodies, everyone at their station with headphones and a dynamic of eye contact.

A segment had been removed from the song to make it less dark, but it also facilitated a tempo change. The band are reworking the song in the fresh, exploring ways to bridge the two ends while capturing the energy in the room. I silently watch the group pull towards this collective vision with patience and care.

The last snap of the drums leaves a dull squeal in my ears audible in the pregnant silence that follows, which is peppered with a few words then a chat and another run. Boop Boop Boop Beep. I can hear the digital metronome through their headphones so I know we’re recording.

The bright day cools to a blue hue. The air is light and the mood good during the listen-backs, the lads singing quietly along to the take with feet crossed on knees tapping the air. The playback stops occasionally to talk about the dynamics and segments of the song, momentum and chords. Over dubs.  Additions to lift the track without losing it. All these really intense discussions as they work through the language. Clarifications and definitions. Which bit? How so? In what way?  Teasing out all the sticky bits, in the words of Karl “Getting away from the root for a moment to pull this thread”.

Hugh and Karl  

We broke for dinner around 9pm, spinning into Drumlish for chips with a round of cupcakes for desert that Amy had left for us when she dropped me off.  Everyone ate quickly in the house and went straight back across to the studio, the mood jovial and rearing to go. The last few takes of the night were full of fun, catching each other’s eyes at the end of the take, riffing and skitting in the knowledge that they’d done good work. The interpersonal dynamic of the band comes through in the music, sounding tight and bright through the monitors.  

 L-R: Hugh, Joe, Tim, Niall, Chris and Karl in the control room 

After a few good takes, Chris, Tim an Niall retire, leaving Joe to end the day with some guitar overdubs, Hugh and Karl listening intently in the control room. I sat with them, the silvery shimmering sound searing and ear-splitting, the uncomfortable intersection of hertz and volume and beautiful in the mix of the days’ work. With these takes locked down, Amy arrived outside to collect me and I stepped out into the frigid night, a bright half-moon on its back and every star brilliant in the pristine depths of the Midlands.

I awoke the following morning to find the earworm riff of ‘Maya’ had burrowed in deep while I processed the day’s events. A slice of the process, a few hours spent amidst the unseen process of recording, a private moment for a public execution that is the forthcoming EP ‘Maybe in Time’ which launches in Whelan’s on the 18th March.

[xoxo-teddybear]

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.4

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Ep. Warnings: cursing, small angst

Summary: after getting caught by dabi, Y/N’s been extra cautious ESPECIALLY with Bakugou. She’s still trying to figure out her feelings about..well, EVERYTHING and so to cope, she blocks out everything and isolates.

Pt.1 Pt.2 P.3 P.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

A/N: Kinda short, Sorry :P

Bakugou’s POV

After spending all that time with Y/N, I could definitely say I like her. Like...LIKE HER like her. She’s..amazing. She has to be one of the top fighters in our class, she’s beautiful and has an incredible body. Her voice is like honey and she has this smile..that’s just..wow. Besides her physical, her as a person is incredible. She’s a good listener, she’s so open minded, she’s respectfully honest, and she brings out the better me.

I’ll admit, I’m pretty strict on following rules. I need to make a good name for myself out in the hero world. But Y/N has a delinquent past. She teaches me to risk it with the stupid rules and just enjoy life as a teen. Not only that, but considering she’s a little rebel herself, she can get out of hand sometimes. So she has me to keep her from going over the cliff. We’re a perfect balance for each other.

.....We’re perfect for each other.

No one’s POV

The morning after your little rendezvou with Bakugou, you woke up in heartache. You were so confused on why. Was it because you were something you’re not to everyone? Was it because you were doing this for the league more than for yourself? But you weren’t dumb. You knew the answer. Or rather, answers. Firstly, it’s because you knew you weren’t enjoying yourself by going through with this plan. It didnt feel right. Second, Bakugou. As scared as you were to admit it..you liked him. You really liked him.

That fact terrified you. You didn’t grow up around love. You grew up around hatred, bloodshed, violence, and fear. For your entire life, everything was all about survival. Even when you had a “steady” home with the league. But Bakugou came into the picture and threw you off. With him, he gave you a sense of security and peace. A warm feeling inside your heart that became more addicting than any drug. Yes, you enjoyed it but at the same time, it confused you. You weren’t sure how to deal with these emotions. You weren’t even sure if you deserved to be blessed with these emotions. With Katsuki.

You were and are a villain. You are the high ranking villain, Titania, and you are on a mission to take down UA from the inside. You were a villain, and you knew your place. A killer, a criminal, a thief, a menace like you didn’t deserve these feelings of..love. You didn’t even know how to handle them. So you did what you thought was best no matter how bad it hurt you.

When you walked into the hallway that your dorm opens up to, you were gifted with the surprise of Katsuki being there, waiting for you.

“Hey Princess,” he began but looked down to your side. “Princess and Rumor.” He said as he chuckled and petted Rumor’s head. Rumor smiled up at the familiar blonde and barked in happiness. Those two got along so well. “So I was thinking we could walk to class together.”

“Sorry...but..no. Come Rumor.” You said and turned away as you cringed at yourself in regret. Rumor followed you, along with Bakugou.

“Heh..sure princess. Try again.” He said thinking you were just messing around. Except, you didn’t answer him. You just kept walking with a blank look on your face, as if he wasn’t even around. Your entire persona was just..off? No playful remarks, no sass or attitude, no teasing mannerisms. It wasn’t you. “Hey, Y/N.”

He tried to put his hand on your shoulder but you sped up and walked out the doors with Rumor leaving Bakugou in confusion and hurt.

‘Did I do something wrong?’ Bakugou released a quiet whine to your behavior and just shook his head and continued to walk to school.

When he arrived in the class, you had already been seated. Thankfully, your desk was next to his so he could try speaking to you then. He firstly walked to you and tried getting some sort of conversation out of you.

“So..what do you think is gonna happen today?” He asked. Even he thought it was a pathetic question but at least it was something.

“Not sure.” You blatantly replied.

“Oh...okay well, uh, Shitty hair and I were planning on getting a workout in later, do you wanna join us?” He asked again.

“I’ll be training with Rumor today and thats all.” You said.

“Nice....you uh, mind if we join you?”

“No.”

“Uh....okay. Cool...........Y/N, listen I-“

“Take your seat Bakugou. Class is starting.” Mr. Aizawa said. Bakugou reluctantly took his seat but not before looking towards you with desperate eyes for at least something more than what you were giving him. But nothing came.

Class went on and Bakugou tried to focus as best as he could, but with the girl he was falling for completely brushing him off, he was in a silent frenzy. Bakugou and you had a thing during class hours. When you guys were dying to talk to each other, you would pass little notes to each other’s desks and continue with that. So he did his usual notes with you and passed one your way. It’s said ‘are you doing okay, Princess?’ But when he tossed it onto your desk, you left the crumpled piece of paper there as you continued listening to Mr. Aizawa.

Since you didn’t reply, he sent another one your way. This time, making sure it hit you a little bit to get your attention but once again, nothing.

‘Wtf’ Bakugou thought. He assumed you were just having a bad morning so even though it hurt him, he left you alone to cool off. I mean, it’s not like he was the only one you weren’t speaking to. You were practically ignoring everybody’s existence.

Lunch rush came and Bakugou was a little relieved. Y/N always say next to him no matter what happened. Even on those quiet days where she didn’t speak a lot during that time, he was glad she was still there and would occasionally join in on the conversation just like he did. But you didn’t come this time. Bakugou waited and when he finally saw you walking towards the table, he smiled and spoke.

“Hey Princess! About time you-“ but before he could continue, you kept your head straight and kept walking, not even sparring the table a glance. He watched you walk on and sit at a lonely table. No one was there. It was just you and Rumor. Bakugou stared from afar and after waiting for a few minutes and giving you multiple concerned stares every now and then, he finally got up to walk to you. Before he could even leave his seat though, Kirishima held him back.

“Don’t man, give her some time. She needs a break.” Kirishima said.

“From what exactly? If you know something, you should tell me now! Cuz if there’s something messing with her, tell me so I can kill it.” Bakugou replied. He was a little hurt thinking that you told Kirishima your problems and not him but he was really more concerned with what’s bugging you. What the hell was bothering you so much? Whatever it was, he’ll make sure it stops.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but it’s obvious she doesn’t wanna speak to anyone right now. Just let her stick by Rumor and be at peace for the day. Or at least until she’s feeling better.” Kirishima explained. And Bakugou knew he was right, so with a stubborn groan he sat back down and just continued to stare.

The day went on and Bakugou let you be. But it was definitely killing him on the inside. He struggled to hold himself back whenever he saw you in a room but he did restrain himself. Once in the common rooms, he noticed you didn’t even bother to stay for a minute. You went straight to your dorm even though Rumor stayed to play with Kaminari and Sero. You spent all day in there and only opened the door to Rumor. When you finally came out, it was to grab a plate of dinner for you and Rumor. You didn’t even stay to eat, you brought the food to you room and that was the last time Bakugou saw you that day. This whole thing was killing him, but what he didn’t know was that from the privacy of your room, your own tears fell much heavier than Bakugou’s.

When Y/N entered her dorm room and placed the plates of food on her table side, she sat on the side of the bed with her head hanging low, casting a shadow to fall over her face. She gripped her bed sheets and she held back sobs. Her teeth grinding against each other in frustration as her eyes squeezed shut to attemp to stop the flooding tears but to no avail. As her hiccups left her voice, Rumor came to place his head on her lap to calm her down. She placed one hand over her mouth to silence herself and calm down as she rubbed Rumor’s soft fur. She eventually gave in and sat on the floor, hugging and holding onto the giant wolf-dog.

“T-This isn’t our place Rumor...this isn’t where we belong. We’re v-villains....we don’t deserve the good they’re giv-ing us.” You sobbed out as you cried into his side.

“I d-don’t belong here!” You cried out. You sobbed into your mattress as Rumor waited for you on the side. He didn’t know what to do with his best friend being so distraught. Your continuous sobs went on for a few hours into the night. Rumor stayed right by your side through it all. The silence that filled your room was so loud and head ringing, it was almost torture. In a quiet voice, you whispered only to remind yourself a fact that Dabi had told you.

“I don’t deserve him.”

—————————————————————��————

“ARGHHH!” Bakugou screamed as he snapped his pencil in anger. Y/N and Rumor just walked passed the group and went to Y/N’s dorm in silence. The Bakusquad looked at the ash blonde in concern. They knew how this boy felt. Y/N’s been avoiding him like the plague and Bakugou can’t get her off his mind.

When you completely ignored his presence, it put Bakugou into a state of sadness. Whenever he tried to talk to you, he was given brief answers followed with your dismissal. He tried doing favors for you, making time to hang out again, and asked to train with you which resulted in him getting rejected each time. It was driving him mad and he just wanted to be around you again.

“I still don’t get why the hell she’s acting like this! When we hung out, everything was perfect! What the fuck is going on with her?!” He shouted in anger. When Y/N is around, Bakugou gets this warm feeling inside that he’s learned to love. Now the girl is never around and he’s bursting in anger at every little thing. Can you blame him? He’s kind of hurt. The girl he’s in like with doesn’t even acknowledge him when she passes by anymore. He misses you. A lot.

“Well why don’t you ask her?” Kirishima questioned.

“Because I-.........actually, that’s a good idea.” Bakugou said as he dropped everything to run up to your dorm and talk. How could he have been so dumb? Listening to Shitty hair. All that hair dye is messing with his brain and local advice. He couldn’t believe he had really left you alone in pain for a whole day. Now, he was gonna get to the bottom of this one way or another. When he made it there, he began banging on your door without even giving it a second thought.

“Y/N! Open up, c’mon! I know you’re in there.” He said on the other side. In the comfort of your bed you poked your head out of the covers and reluctantly got out. You knew he wouldn’t stop till he got his answers. So you went to open the door and put on the best smile you could.

“Hi Katsuki,” you said with a huff. “Look, I’ve been having a really bad headache so if you don’t mind-“

“Nope,” he interrupted and just pushed open the door to get inside. How charming. He walked in and you just rolled your eyes and sighed. You shut the door and turned to him. “You can’t lie to me about some headache Y/N, I know it’s not the truth. You’ve been avoiding me and I wanna know why.”

“It’s nothing personal, I just..needed some time.” You said, looking everywhere but at him. A silence entered the room. Not the comforting silence it usually is with you two, more of the nervous kind. Bakugou thought about what he would say next..he didn’t even know if it was okay to say. But he did it anyway.

“Is it...me? Did I do something wrong?” You looked at him with a shocked face as he continued, “‘cuz if it was me, then... I’m sorry. I’m new to this whole..whatever we have going on, but I’m really trying here and I-...I don’t know, I thought that night we went out was pretty good, but I can do better if you jus-“

“Katsuki, hey no, stop that,” you said as you walked up to him. “This has nothing to do with you messing up or anything. That night was amazing, you are amazing, and everything that’s happened between us so far has been..amazing.” You confessed.

“So then...why? Why all the distance? Why do you avoid me?....what happened?” Bakugou asked as he got closer. If something was wrong, he genuinely wanted to help you out of it. You just laughed a little before you spoke, realizing how cliche you were gonna sound.

“Look, it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve just been going through something..life changing, and I don’t really know who I am yet. I just..needed a break from everything. Especially you.” You said as you looked him in his eyes.

“Especially me? Why?” He asked. The amount of nerves that hit you all at once was ridiculous. You could confess right here right now and rip off the bandaid. Or you could lie your way out and save yourself the embarrassment. You bit your lip and tilted your head towards the ceiling for a second in exhaustion before speaking.

“Because.....Ugh! I like you, all right? A lot. You..you’re really cute, and fun, and there’s just all these amazing things about you annddd..” as you spoke you looked at his face and he started to grow a small smile as he looked at you with that cocky look and a slightly raised brow, “stop doing that!” You said and smacked his shoulder.

“Ow, what?” He laughed out. “Stop doing what?”

“That! That stupid face that you do when you look at me with that smile and face when you just...and..you....you just-.....Umm..uh..” you trailed off from your sentence as Bakugou leaned down into your face, resting his forehead on yours.

“And..?” He asked.

“And...and no free compliments!” You said as you pushed his shoulder and turned to your side. He chuckled at the way you pouted and crossed your arms. “Look, we’ve established that I like you Katsuki,”

“Keep going, I like what I’m hearing,” he said with a grin and his hands in his pockets.

“And that’s the problem.”

“Okay, stop. I don’t like it anymore.” He said and looked to the side with a grouchy face. You laughed and walked up to him and pulled at his arms.

“No, seriously,” you said with a laugh, “I like you, but that’s the problem. Where I’m from...it’s..different. I never really got to explore emotions like this..so..I don’t really know how to handle them. It’s confusing. I just thought, if I isolated and took some time to myself, they would go away...but they haven’t. They’re still here, they’re still strong, and I still don’t know what to do.” You said with a heavy breath. The weight finally came off of your chest after your confession but something was still poking at you and you weren’t sure what. You didn’t let it bother you for too long though, you finally felt like you could breath again.

“So..what? You’re emotionally constipated? ‘Cuz if That’s the case, then I’m the same way, princess. We must come from the same place.” He joked.

“Oh no we don’t. If anything......it’s almost like we’re from two different worlds,” you said with a slightly sad demeanor that Bakugou detected. He picked you up, sat on your bed and got comfortable while placing you on his lap.

“So then explain. Talk. Tell me about this ‘different world’ you claim you’re from, princess.” He said with air quotes as he kept one arm snug around your waist.

“I can’t,” you sighed and looked down at your hands in your lap, “if I told you everything, I know for a fact you’d just drop me outta your life...I know it’s selfish but I don’t know if I could honestly handle that,” you quietly said. Bakugou tilted your head so you were facing him.

“Nothing you say could ever make me want to get rid of you..I promise.....something about you just..makes me need to have you around.” He said caressing your cheek. You both stared at each other, enjoying the warmth you both radiated. The atmosphere changed into something some would call love, and if this was what it was, you didn’t want it to stop. It became something so comforting and addicting the both of you didn’t want to lose it.

Once again, the world around you fell away, as you and Bakugou became the only two people in the world again. He leaned in closer, and you mimicked his actions, until the soft feeling of his lips pressed against yours. Fireworks went off in your head as you met in the middle in the softest way, and what started as a passionate kiss turned into a sweet makeout. Your lips danced across one another and you both could savor the taste you were experiencing. While the flavor of caramel and spice came onto you, the delicious taste of strawberries and scent of vanilla invaded Bakugou’s senses. He adored the way you tasted and craved it even more after every second. When you both finally separated, you stared at each other with starry eyes and heavy breaths as you leaned against each other in a loving way. Blush adorned both your faces as the comforting silence filled the air once again. Bakugou was the first to speak.

“Y/N...whatever it is you need..assistance, time, comfort, I’ll always provide. Just please don’t push me away ‘cuz I won’t go.” He said with his head against yours.

“Yeah..heh, I believe you,” you softly said. Bakugou pulled your head down to lean against his shoulder as you cuddled into him, enjoying the moment. Until you realized, you might just have to tell him everything. Bakugou seemed to sense your little nerve and settled you down. He kissed the crown of your head before speaking.

“Tell me everything when you’re ready, princess.” He said. You felt tears of joy fill your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You just reveled in the comfort and love Bakugou was giving you. Love. How amazing. Something many people had told you, you didn’t deserve. But Bakugou came in and changed all of that for you. He came into the darkness and provided the small amount of light you needed. You were so thankful for him. You smiled before speaking in a sweet voice of appreciation.

“Okay.”