#AND THE FACT THAT REMUS GOT UP AND LEFT AFTER HE SAID THIS

[iloveyouimsorrry]

listen sirius black is like the best fictional character ever in my opinion but he is driving me insane like. damn it sirius you’re two best friends are gay and you say this to them?? 🖕🖕 he better start acting nice soon

[ellecdc]

PART 2 PLSSSSSSSSSSS

I need the comfort

ok ok ok ok ok mother's here - I've fixed it for you. Don't say I never did anything for ya 😉

part two of Mistake: poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: angst, hurt and COMFORT read part one here

Remus felt like he’d just been slapped. In fact, he was sure that if he looked in a mirror, he would see a red welt in the shape of your hand across his cheek. 

Lupin?

You haven’t called him that since...well since you started dating. As a matter of fact, he can’t remember the last time you referred to him in any way other than some sickly-sweet pet name that he pretended embarrassed him, but he secretly preened at. 

I’ll see you around.

What the hell did that mean? What just happened?

He felt stuck...perhaps he should go after you? But you told him to go check on Sirius: make sure he’s okay for me, yeah? And he meant what he had said – the three of you would be back to normal in no time. They’d catch up with you tomorrow.

Remus tried to replay every interaction you had tonight. You had asked how their days were...he replied and asked how yours was. Should he have asked you first?

He should have asked you first.

You tried making conversation, but Remus was so hyper focused on Sirius’ mood – afraid that he’d do or say something out of pocket that would hurt your feelings – that each attempt sort of fell flat. Remus had been there before – he’s witnessed Sirius’ tendency to self-sabotage and ruin a good thing once he finally has it, and he didn’t want that to happen again. Not with you.

He knew what Sirius really needed was some quiet; a chance to ponder and lament angrily inside his own head without outside influence.

Maybe they should have cancelled – rescheduled your study date for another time. Clearly his effort to protect you from any negativity was in vain.  

But it was just a bad day, a blip, a one-off. You would all get some good sleep tonight and reconvene tomorrow.

Right?

Maybe he should have followed you.

But by the time he could manage to pry his feet from the floor of the library that he felt cemented to, you were gone. 

He would just have to talk it out with you tomorrow.

Remus entered his dorm to find Peter already asleep on his bed, James finishing the Transfiguration essay that was due tomorrow morning on his own bed, and both Remus and Sirius’ beds empty. 

“Pads around?” Remus asked James quietly as he began to shuck off his uniform. The quiet tone was mostly for courtesy’s sake knowing Peter could sleep through a stampede of hippogriffs.

James peered at Remus from above his glasses before nodding his head towards the bathroom door.

Sure enough, Remus found Sirius leaning against the shower stall with his eyes closed as the water cascaded around his form. 

“You almost done, love?” Remus asked gently. Sirius spooked slightly as he turned to look at Remus; his eyes were red and glossy...he had been crying.

“You didn’t stay with her?”

Remus fought the urge to grimace, to heave, to turn around and run. He opted to gently shake his head. “No, she... said she got most of what she needed to do done.”

Sirius seemed to consider that as he sighed. “Was she terribly upset? I didn’t...I didn’t mean to be an ass. I know James always says I’m quick to take it out on others – I tried really hard not to, honest. I swear it, Rem I-”

Remus began shaking his head as he moved towards Sirius. He could tell by the smell in the bathroom that Sirius had already washed his hair and there were no more suds on his body, so he turned the water off and handed Sirius a towel. 

“You were fine, Sirius. She’s – she’s fine.” He lied.

He lied. He lied to Sirius. About you.

But how could he look Sirius in the eye right now – Sirius who was currently standing naked, soaking wet, nearly hyperventilating, not over his disgusting parents but because he was afraid that he may have upset you – and tell him that between the maybe seven minutes since Sirius had left the library and now, Remus had completely mucked it all up?

The answer was: he couldn’t. He couldn’t look Sirius in the eye and admit that he may have just sabotaged your relationship.

It’s going to be fine. He tried to tell himself. We’ll fix this all tomorrow.

You felt beyond childish, hiding in your dorm room like some toddler throwing a temper tantrum. But you had decided last night that what you really needed was space. Some breathing room. A chance to see this from a different lens. A different perspective.

And you couldn’t do that when your heart was breaking. And being around Remus and Sirius felt like that right now.

It felt heart breaking. 

And perhaps that was your answer right there. If this was causing you heart ache, why were you doing it to yourself? To them? You didn’t deserve that, and neither did they.

But it wasn’t just this you were worried about. It was more than just this relationship – it was the friendship that preceded it. It was the meshing of you into their circle of friends. You were their friend long before you were ever their girlfriend. You wouldn’t just be losing Remus and Sirius: your boyfriend’s; you’d also be losing Remus and Sirius: your friend’s.

Maybe you should have thought about that before you said yes.

Suddenly, you were a little angry: they had asked you to be their girlfriend – not the other way around! Why would they put you through all of this for, what? For...

Was it really for nothing?

“Are you coming to breakfast?” Shelby asked you quietly from the door. You shifted your head on the pillow to make eye contact with her. “No, I’ve got some things to work on. I think I’ll hang out up here today.”

She seemed to consider you, eyes squinting and mouth pursing before she offered a curt nod. “I’ll bring something back for you then.”

You smiled gratefully at her. At least you knew if you did lose Remus and Sirius, you would still have friends who cared about you. 

Sirius spent most of his life believing he’d never be worthy of nice things. He was raised by monsters which meant he was a product of monsters; he was basically a monster.

He knew that the Black Darkness was always simmering just below the surface. It was archetypal of Black’s to explode; to lace their words with venom and strike at their victim, always aiming for the jugular. It had been Sirius’ own M.O. for his whole life. He had nearly lost everyone who ever meant anything to him on account of it. He had almost lost Moony.

Which is why it was so important to him that you never end up the latest victim of his Black Darkness. He was so afraid of disappointing you, letting you down, making you feel unloved. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to live with himself if he slipped – if he said something or did something to make you hate him. 

And it wasn’t just you he was worried about hurting; he knew if he hurt you, Remus would likely never forgive him.

Remus may have forgiven Sirius for his Darkness once; he didn’t want to risk trying for a second time. Sirius felt he’d hit his threshold for forgiveness – one more sin and he’d be on his own, surely.

So, he walked away. He tried to do it nicely – to excuse himself politely, assure you he’d be back in no time. 

But he still left.

It was cowardly. 

He needed to talk to you.

Which is why Sirius could be found that morning sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, knee bouncing frantically under the table and his body turned towards the entrance – waiting for you to make an appearance.

Except, you never came.

“Wait, Shelby just walked in without her. Where is she?” He asked despondently, turning towards Remus. 

Remus watched as Shelby and a few of your other friends sat at their usual places without you. “Come on.” He said quickly as the two of them stood and made their way over.

“Hey Shelby. Do you know where Y/N is?” Remus asked quietly, hoping his guilt didn’t permeate his tone. Unfortunately, under Shelby’s scrutinizing glance, he was sure he had been found out. 

“She’s in the dorm.” She said flatly, looking between the two boys. 

Sirius exchanged a glance with Remus before continuing. “Erm, do you...do you know why?” 

Shelby furrowed her brows “all she said was she had ‘some things to work on’ and that she’d be in the room today.”

Remus hissed under his breath and pulled Sirius aside.

“Pads, I’m sorry, but I think-”

“What is going on?” Sirius interrupted.

“Last night, I... I think Y/N was upset?”

“Upset? With me?” Sirius asked, shame worming its way through every cell in his body. 

“I don’t know. I... I don’t think so. But she...she said she’d ‘see me around’ and then called me Lupin.” 

All blood drained from Sirius’ face as he considered Remus’ words.

See him around...see him around!? What the hell did that mean? Did you not plan on seeing them again? Oh gods...you never planned on seeing them again.

“Rem...” Sirius breathed out, leaning against a pillar for support.

“I know, I don’t-”

“Good grief, what’s gotten into you two?” James commented as he walked into the Great Hall with Lily, who opted to carry on in her search for Regulus as James took in the state of his two friends.

“Well? What’s got you in such a twist?” He pressed when neither boy offered an explanation.

“It’s Y/N.” Remus admitted.

“She’s leaving us.” Sirius blurted.

“Okay, we don’t know that.” Remus conceded.

Sirius scoffed. “Well, she basically told you to go fuck yourself last night and now she’s avoiding us; what do you call that?”

“She didn’t tell me to go fuck myself!”

James groaned and rolled his eyes before grabbing Remus and Sirius’ shirts and dragging them over to the Slytherin table.

“That’s it. You guys need to talk to Regulus.” James muttered.

“Regulus?!” Sirius sputtered, looking at James incredulously. “I’m not asking my baby brother for relationship advice.”

“You’re not asking for relationship advice. You’re asking for his perspective on his own relationship.”

“Ew! That’s worse! I don’t want to hear about my baby brother’s relationship with my adoptive brother.” 

“Oh for- you are going to listen to Regulus’ perspective on what it’s like being added to a polyamorous relationship last.” James pressed, tone implying no nonsense. 

Sirius (unwillingly) and Remus (placidly) were dragged to the dark side (read: the Slytherin table) to be read their Miranda Rights have their asses handed to them by one Regulus Arcturus Black. 

“Reg, dear. I’m begging, pleading, on my hands and knees: put the poor sods out of their misery.” James said as he bodily sat Remus and Sirius on the bench across from Regulus.

Lily snickered and poked her nose into Regulus’ cheek, causing the youngest Black to blush, though the rest of his face remained stoic as he sized Sirius and Remus up.

“What have the two of you done now?” He drawled. “I can’t help but notice one third – arguably the better third - of your little trio is missing.”

Sirius scoffed, though he didn’t argue – Regulus wasn’t wrong per se; he loved Moony, but you were indeed the best of the bunch.

James cleared his throat pointedly as he shot Remus and Sirius a look.

“Right, er” Remus started awkwardly. “We seem to have, uhm. I mean to say that-”

“Why does Y/N hate us?” Sirius spat, slapping a hand over his mouth immediately afterwards as if those words had fallen from his mouth without his consent.

“Y/N? As in your girlfriend, Y/N?” Regulus asked, moving his eyes between his brother and his brother’s boyfriend.

“Yes, as in our girlfriend.” Remus muttered.

“What did you say to offend her?” James asked unhelpfully.

“Do you think if we knew that, we’d be here right now?” Sirius spat back. 

“No, I don’t think that.” Regulus answered for him. “What I think has probably happened is she’s feeling terribly insecure in your relationship and neither of you have done anything to help her.”

Well that shut Sirius up... Sirius noticed that Remus was pretty quiet too.

“Were...” Sirius asked, grimacing when he looked over at Lily and James knowing this was teetering slightly into the realm of things-he-doesn’t-really-want-to-know-about-his-brother’s-relationship-with-his-best-friend territory. But damnit, Sirius was as desperate man. And desperate times called for desperate measures. “Were you terribly insecure when you started dating...these two?” Sirius sneered the end of his sentence earning him a ‘hey!’ from Lily and a solid whack up the back of the head from James.

“Yes.” Regulus answered simply.

“Why?” Remus asked, looking desperately close to pulling out his notebook to take notes. Scratch that, Sirius watched as James swallowed a teasing remark when Remus actually pulled out a notebook to take notes. 

“It’s hard coming after. There’s a part of your brain that convinces you that you are second best; that you’ve somehow come in second place. If that’s not bad enough, then you begin spending time with two people who already have history, already have a connection, and already have a rhythm that doesn’t leave much room to pull you into the mix. And if it does pull you into the mix, you end up feeling terribly guilty for disrupting that rhythm. It’s all quite difficult.”

Sirius’ mouth hung open at Regulus’ demure tone on what sounded like a really heartbreaking situation. 

“Let me ask you this,” Regulus continued, unawares of Sirius’ inner dialogue (which consisted mostly of panicked ‘oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods). “How has your relationship – between the two of you – changed since you added a third?”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance before looking back at Regulus. “Uhm...not, really?”

“Not much at all.” Remus admitted more clearly.

“I see...” Regulus said, narrowing his gaze. “And how much time have each of you spent with her individually without the other present?”

Regulus got his answer in the form of awkward silence. 

“How did either of you expect your relationship to work if neither of you were willing to change the nature of yours in order to help it grow?” Regulus spat. 

“Well...” Remus started, but his sentence died when he realized there was nothing to say. 

“But...you stayed? Why?” Sirius asked his brother.

At this, Regulus’s face fell as he gave Sirius a sad smile. “Because of how we were raised, Sirius. I was so excited to be wanted, even for a moment, that I was willing to beg for scraps of whatever I could sink my claws into. She doesn’t strike me as that kind of girl.”

James and Lily looked forlorn as the latter placed her hand on Regulus’ shoulder consolingly. 

“It didn’t hurt to have the walking definition of unconditional love and the smartest, most intuitive witch I know to notice any discontent on my part.” He admitted shyly, earning him a smack of a kiss on the cheek from James.

“Gross. You guys are sickening.” Sirius muttered petulantly.

“So?” Lily interrupted what was close to becoming a squabble between the two Black brothers. “What are you guys going to do?”

Remus sported a determined expression as he looked to Sirius. “We’re going to make it right.”

Shelby stood by her word and brought your breakfast. She also brought you lunch, and then dinner. But by the following morning, she was tired of playing the role of house elf.

“Alright, are you going to tell me why you’re avoiding Lupin and Black?” She asked plainly, plopping herself down uninvited onto your bed.

“Wha-? I’m ... I’m not avoiding them.” You lied poorly.

“Please; don’t spit on my muffin and call it frosting, Y/N. You’re obviously avoiding them.”

“I...ew?”

She groaned and fell onto her back in defeat. “Please, for all that is holy, tell me why they’ve been following me around like kicked puppies hoping I’ll take them to their master?”

You rolled your eyes and turned back to your book that you held open but had never been reading. “Yeah, I’m sure they’re real upset.” You muttered.

“That’s it.” She spat and plucked your book out of your hands, throwing it over her shoulder unceremoniously. You cringed to think about how Remus would feel seeing a book treated in such a way.

“I was reading that!”

“Don’t lie to me again.” She said, levelling you with a ‘no nonsense’ look. “Spill.”

You sighed deeply, looking toward the window to try and find the words you’d spent the last 24 hours trying to formulate. She never rushed you for your answer, giving you all the time you needed. 

“I feel insignificant.” You admitted finally.

“And?”

You turned to face her, bemusement painting your features. “What do you mean, and?”

“And... have you spoken to them about it?”

You felt a little embarrassed to admit that no, you hadn’t.

“Why not?”

And that simple question seemed to set off all the emotions (mostly frustration) that simmered beneath your surface.

“Because Shelby. Because I don’t want to have to beg for love and affection. I don’t want to have to tell people how to love me; they should just already love me. I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding in someone else’s relationship. I don’t want to have to point out that I’m here and I’m hurting. It’s mortifying. I... I think I’m just done.”

Shelby nodded in understanding before she stood from your bed. “Then you need to finish this today. No more hiding in your room being angry by yourself, and no more letting them sniff around the castle like dejected little runts. Put all three of you out of your misery.” 

It was your turn to nod as you too stood from your bed, ready to face possibly one of the most heartbreaking days of your life.

But Shelby was right; it was time. 

The worst part was that Shelby had been telling the truth; Remus and Sirius did look like kicked puppies. 

The second you had entered the Great Hall you heard a crash of knees against benches and cutlery clashing as Sirius clumsily tried to vacate his seat in record time to make it over to you.

“Y/N!” He called, as if you could have missed the racket he made just prior. 

He looked gaunt – like he hadn’t eaten or slept enough (in the only less than 48 hours) since you’d seen him last. His eyes were red and a little swollen, like he’d been rubbing at them.

You immediately felt sick with guilt; if he really was struggling with things with his family, the last thing you wanted was to add to his stress. But Sirius was looking after himself, and Remus was looking after him too; someone needed to think about you. You had to look after yourself.

Remus didn’t look much better, approaching the two of you much more slowly, hardly making eye contact with you as if you’d lash out at any moment. You had to admit that it annoyed you a little bit.

“Hi Sirius.” You offered, voice grating over the sudden tightness. “Remus.”

Some of the tension seemed to leave Remus’ shoulders as he made an effort to make eye contact with you.

“Can we talk?” He asked timidly. 

You knew what was coming, what was happening, what you yourself had come here planning to do.

But it broke your heart nonetheless.

“Sure.” You whispered, and exited the Great Hall without waiting to see if they were following you. 

You walked into an empty classroom and leaned against one of the walls as Remus and Sirius closed the door behind them. They shared another look and stood opposite of you.

More secret conversations. You thought bitterly. And doesn’t this just paint a lovely picture; them versus you. 

“Y/N. We, uhm...we’ve been talking, and we realized that...that maybe we haven’t gone about this the right way.” Sirius started, looking at Remus continuously as he addressed you. 

We’ve made a terrible mistake. 

“We didn’t take into account the ways in which our relationship would have to change in order to make the three of us work” Remus added.

We didn’t realize how much you’d take away from us, you heard

“We feel like we’ve been unfair to you, and... we’re really sorry.” Sirius concluded, looking like his heart had been ripped out of his rib cage. You supposed that would make sense, considering that’s how you currently felt yourself.

It probably hurt all the same to them – they’d be losing the friendships the three of you had created too; the friendship you had with Remus, the friendship you had with Sirius, and the fun the three of you had all together. But you still loved them, and the last thing you wanted to do was to interfere in their relationship.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” You admitted finally. “It was just a mistake.”

Remus’ head cocked to the side like a confused puppy whilst Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed. “Well...I, I’m not sure-” Remus started but was cut off by Sirius.

“Wait, Y/N, what exactly do you think the mistake was?”

You looked between the two of them as you lifted your shoulder. “I... I guess including me?” You stated as a question.

Sirius actually sputtered as Remus stepped towards you, stopping himself seemingly before he made to grab you.

“No! No, Dove. That’s not a mistake!” He insisted.

“Are you kidding? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to us – no, no. This...wow, okay. Can we start from the beginning, please? Why do you think this was a mistake?” Sirius managed to (barely) get out.

You looked to the ceiling, eyes stinging at the reality of having to voice your hurt. “Because” your voice came out embarrassingly high. “Because it-it felt...better when we were friends. I didn’t feel...in the way. And it felt easier. Just - I didn’t mean to come in between you, and I never...” you cut yourself off, quickly moving into hyperventilating territory. 

“But-”

“It’s not a mistake!” Sirius shouted, cutting Remus off. “This wasn’t a mistake! You weren’t a mistake. I... okay. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, that’s true. But I don’t consider that a mistake. Not you, never you.”

“It was a surprise; a happy accident.” Remus added hopefully shy.

You felt drunk...dizzy...beyond confused. Weren’t they breaking up with you? Weren’t you supposed to be breaking up with them!?

“I think it was easier when we were friends because we weren’t putting so much pressure on ourselves to get this right.” Sirius explained.

Remus nodded and continued. “Sirius used to get so jealous if I got to hang out with you without him if he was at practice – took us a while to figure out that it was because he wished he was the one hanging out with you. When we started dating, I guess Sirius and I figured we’d just make sure to always hangout with you together so that neither of us felt left out. But we never even thought about how that must’ve been making you feel, dove. I’m so sorry.” 

“Regulus read us our rights.” Sirius admitted abashedly. “He pointed out that the relationship between the three of us will only work if our relationships with each other are strong. And we didn’t make our individual relationships with you a priority – that was our mistake, Y/N. Not you.” 

“Our mistake was believing you would just ‘catch up’ to where we are – which is years in the making – and also expecting you to somehow do that on your own. It was selfish and thoughtless.” Remus stressed

The things they were saying made sense and spoke to your very soul, but you couldn’t shake off this lingering feeling of dread.

“I... I should have said something... about how I was feeling.”

Sirius sighed, but it was Remus who spoke. “I think all of us could have done a better job communicating, that’s true. But we should have been more considerate. We asked you to join us, dove; we should have made that easy for you to do.”

“To think how much grief we’ve caused ourselves, when we could have just solved this all with a conversation.” Sirius mumbled dejectedly. 

“We’re not too late, are we? To solve this?” Remus asked quietly. Sirius’ eyes looked like they were close to popping out of his skull as he stood and made for you, grabbing your hands pleadingly.

“Oh gods, Y/N. You... you were breaking up with us, weren’t you? You thought we were breaking up with you?” His voice sounded very close to a sob.

“Please...please dove I- I don’t know that we deserve it, but please give us a chance to make this right, to do this properly. Give us a chance to love you the way you deserve.” Remus begged, moving to stand in front of you with Sirius, though he controlled his urge to grab your hands. 

You looked between the two boys; the two boys who you’ve been basically in love with for so long – the two boys who have proclaimed to feel the same way about you - and wondered to yourself again:

Have we made a terrible mistake?

Remus’ golden eyes shimmered with compassion and warmth, and Sirius burned fiercely in devotion and promises.  

Had you made a mistake? Falling in love with them?

No.

Perhaps Remus was right. Perhaps this was a happy accident.

“Okay.” You whispered. Remus exhaled the breath he’d been holding while Sirius’ face morphed into a small, hopeful kind of smile – far shyer than you were used to seeing from the boy.

“Okay?” He asked, moving his hands up from your wrists to your shoulders.

“Yeah... I-I don’t want to lose you guys.” You admitted wetly, a tear betraying you as it fell down your cheek. Sirius was quick to catch it with his thumb.

“Never, dove. Not if I can help it.” Remus promised. 

You believed him.  

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[rainydayathogwarts]

The rabbit hole - Remus Lupin

remus lupin has a way with all the ladies, even the popular girls wc: 1.3k

Despite not being the most sought after marauder, Remus Lupin got more than enough attention from the ladies. Everyone knew it, especially you, who lived around girls always gushing about their newest crush. You have to admit, his name did come up a few times. But did it even matter? The term 'popular' wasn't one you’d use to describe yourself because you didn’t believe in putting people up on pedestals, including yourself. However, you couldn’t help it if those words were thrown at you by other people. You weren’t mad at it; getting attention from boys and being admired by younger girls was fulfilling and validating, and meant you never had trouble finding dates when you got bored. 

Unfortunately, it seemed you had fallen into the same rabbit hole many other girls surrounding you fell into - the rabbit hole called 'wanting the one man who wasn't interested'. You don’t know when this fascination over him started, but you assumed it had to do with the fact that he didn’t pay any attention to you. It was refreshing, but frustrating. Guys always gave you what you wanted, or made the first move. Remus, on the other hand, had only ever spoken to you in class when you’d be paired up, and he’d never made a pass at you, unlike the two friends at his right and left side who had both previously flirted with you at parties in an attempt to getting on your roster. You had laughed and thrown a snarky comment at them before amusedly walking away. But Remus Lupin and his stupid chestnut hair had caught your eye, and when you wanted something, you didn’t stop until you got it.

Remus had noticed this new attention from you in potions class - a simple doe eyed look from you when you’d asked him to get pearl dust for your potion had him doing a double take, making sure he hadn’t imagined your signature move. He’d heard boys talking, and he had to admit, even he was intrigued by you. “Mate she just gave me those eyes...” was a popular start to a sentence when he heard boys exchange stories, but now that he’d laid his eyes on them himself, he knew he was in for it.

On the way back to his dorm, he wondered if that was you making a first move, or just a subtle ask for him to make a move. He decided that he'd wait and see, make sure he hadn't been mistaken and make a fool of himself by throwing himself into something nonexistent. The more he waited, the harder it was to hold himself back. Of course, Remus prided himself on being respectful to all women and being quiet, which is what drew many of the ladies in. This meant that he tried incredibly hard to hold back the flirtatious comments and sly responses during lessons. You knew the game he was playing, because you often took the route of playing hard to get.

"You're being delusional" Sirius finally told him, James nodding from his spot beside him on Peter's bed. "Like, good for you man if there is anything there, but there isn't." James said teasingly. "No- I swear! She's flirting with me! She's flirting and I'm enjoying it! She's flirting and now I like her, and now I'm like every other guy at Hogwarts." Sirius and James exchanged a look. "Well you're not like every other guy if you actually end up with her. How many guys have you heard of who actually became her boyfriend?" He thought long and hard, and when he looked back at the other two, knew they shared the same number. "None."

The map showed that you were alone by the black lake. If he wanted to catch you in time, he'd have to hurry along. He stole a book off his bed before rushing off, haphazardly throwing his jumper somewhere into the dorm. He slowed down his pace once he made it past the main entrance, catching his breath as he began walking in your general directly. Remus didn't want to seem to obvious, so he marked the page he had left his book from with his index finger dipping between the pages. His breath hitched when he got closer to you, realising you were just in shorts and a bikini top, enjoying the spring sun, a boombox next to you playing some music.

"Any chance I could sit in the shade under that tree without looking like a total creep?" He asks, gesturing to the tree merely a couple of meters from you. Your eyes flutter open, a hand coming to your face to protect your eyes from the sun. "Mhmm, I don't think there is. But that's okay, I'm used to being admired." Remus scoffs, sitting down with his back against the tree, and opens up his book. From the corner of his eyes, he sees your body turning in his general direction, as though surprised that he's not giving you any attention. If that was the case, his mission was already succeeding. He feels the hesitation from you, glancing up at you to see you open and close your mouth, speechless. You turn onto your back once more, closing your eyes with a sigh.

You both sit there in comfortable silence, but Remus hasn't turned a single page of his book and despite you having your eyes closed, the only thing you can think of is how close he is to you. Suddenly, you sit up, turning to take a long sip of the water bottle next to you. Remus has to pretend he wasn't looking at you, but when you address him by his first name, his head immediately snaps up to meet your gaze. "Yes?" "Want to go in for a swim?" Well he wasn't expecting that. You grin when he begins to stutter; you'd finally caught him off guard for the first time since you'd started flirting with him three weeks ago. "Well, I'm- I'm not in my swimmers." You cock your head to the side, raising an eyebrow at him. "Is that a problem?"

Yes, Remus wants to say. Yes, because I have scars and I'm insecure, and I don't want you to see me like that. But he doesn't say any of those things. Instead, he stands, and you follow his movements promptly. You wait for him to take at least his shirt off, but he only loosens his tie, pulling it over his head before stalking towards you predatorily. You try to take a step away from him when the proximity becomes too intimidating for you, but one of his hands snakes around your waist and your breath is hitching and he's leaning his head down close to your ear and you only hear "Hold your breath" before you're being whisked into his arms and your feet are leaving the ground.

You're suddenly gasping for air, breaking through the surface of the water, but you immediately spot Remus's grinning face, shaking his hair away from his eyes and you can't be mad. Like physically, it is impossible for you, even if your denim shorts are now all wet and you almost died. But you're swimming towards him and holding onto him with your legs wrapping around his waist and somehow you're leaning into him and pressing your lips against his. The position is weird: Remus can probably reach the ground, his hands supporting your denim-clad hips whilst your hands grip onto his wet uniform, but in some odd way, it's perfect.

The second you pull away, Remus's eyes are widening and he's muttering "Oh, no." Confused, you turn to see what he's looking at, only to spot a quickly approaching figure called the insolent Filch, already yelling about "Jumping in with Uniform!" and "Get them Mrs. Norris!"

[foundtherightwords]

Fallen Empires - Chapter 1

Pairing: Geta x OFC

Summary: Having done the unthinkable to secure his throne, Emperor Geta rules with ruthlessness and paranoia. Now, after escaping an assassination attempt, a badly injured Geta is saved by Daphne, a young widow, who takes him back to her remote village without knowing his true identity. As Daphne nurses the former emperor back to health, attraction blooms between them, and Geta discovers a soft side he didn't know he possessed. But can their love survive his thirst for revenge and his desire to reclaim power?

Warnings: violence, domestic abuse, non-explicit smut

Chapter warnings: mention of blood and injuries

Chapter word count: 5.1k

A/N: I started this fic all the way back in April, when we first got the news that Joe was cast as Caracalla in "Gladiator 2". I did a ton of research, read books and academic papers about Caracalla and his reign, the whole shebang. Then in July, we got the confirmation that Joe played Geta instead, but by then, I'd already written about 30k words and didn't want to throw it away. Since I never was going to follow the movie anyway (no spoilers here!), I thought, OK, if the great Ridley Scott wasn't going to be historically accurate, then neither am I! So I replaced "Caracalla" with "Geta", changed a few details, and here we are.

The biggest change I made is that Geta was the one that killed Caracalla, not the other way around (this is a historical fact so it's not a spoiler for the movie.) Their confrontation also followed history (which happened in the presence of their mother, Julia Domna.) The remainder of Geta's reign is based on the real reign of Caracalla - his various military campaigns, the war against Parthia, and his infamous assassination (attempted assassination, in this case) by Justus Martialis while peeing on the side of the road now all happen to Geta. Also, Caracalla is described as sometimes wearing a blonde wig, so my headcanon is that the ginger hair in the movie is a wig as well (sorry Joe, I know you were working that wig for all it's worth, but I can't take it seriously.)

Prologue

Once upon a time, two brothers founded the greatest empire in the world...

He and his brother had grown up with the tale of Romulus and Remus, as any child of Rome would. But unlike other children of Rome, he and his brother had also been told that they would one day inherit the empire that those two brothers had built.

Nobody told them the birth of that empire had come at the price of fratricide. Nobody told them that only one brother was destined to be emperor.

They knew anyway.

The only question was, after the blood had run dry, which one of them would be left standing?

He, for one, refused to wait for an answer. He would find his own. So when the Fates dealt him their blow, he fought back and reclaimed his destiny from them. And as he stood over his brother with the blade still dripping blood in his hand, as he looked at the shocked faces of the Praetorians, as he avoided his mother's horrified eyes, filled with the tears he didn't allow her to shed, he thought he'd done it. He'd had the answer.

"You all saw!" he shouted at them, daring them to contradict him. "You saw what he was going to do, how he was coming for me! I did what I had to do to protect myself!" No one said a word in response. Perhaps they thought, and rightly so, that it would be unwise to oppose a man holding a bloody sword. "He was a tyrant and a would-be murderer," he continued, indicating his brother. "There is to be no mourning of him." His mother flinched, her arms closing instinctively around her son's still-warm body, but she, too, said nothing. "I want his image removed from all paintings, coins melted down, statues destroyed, his name struck from records. Let it be known from this day forward that it is a capital offense to speak or write his name!"

His orders were carried out, of course. He was the Emperor now.

But in wiping all images of his brother off the face of the Earth, he also had to remake his own. They had been so intricately linked, so connected in the minds of the citizens of Rome, two sides of the same monstrous coin, that he had to become someone else to be seen as the true heir, as the sole emperor. Gone were the wig and the makeup. Gone were the flashy clothes and jewelry. He cropped his hair short, grew a beard, and dressed himself in the simple garb of a legionary. He went on campaign after campaign to expand the Empire. Caledonia, Germania, Alexandria, Parthia. He would become a soldier-emperor, like his father. He would become a conqueror, like Alexander the Great. He would build an empire, like Romulus. Because he, like Romulus, was the brother who survived.

Only he didn't expect the price of surviving would be so high.

Chapter 1

The smell of blood was in the air.

As he staggered over the rocky ground, he could smell it all around him, on him, in him, and there was no escaping it. The sharp metallic tang of it brought back unpleasant memories of battlefields, of death and screaming and decay. But this was no battlefield. It was quiet, far too quiet; there was none of the clashes of swords and armors, the panicked whinnying of horses, or the groans of dying men. The only sound was his own ragged breathing and the hammering of pulse in his ears. There were stabbing pains on his back and between his ribs, and it hurt every time he drew a breath. There was a pounding somewhere on the back of his head—he must have hit it when he fell down the slope, though he no longer remembered where that slope was. He no longer remembered anything except for a burning feeling of anger and hatred, almost stronger than the pains of his body, though at whom or what that anger was directed, he didn't know. And underneath it all was a threat of fear. He had never been afraid of anything. Yet now the cold breath of Phobos was on the back of his neck, driving him on, urging him to get away, as far away as he could.

His head felt heavy and light at the same time. More than once, he stumbled over a rock and went down on his hands and knees. That was when he realized he was clutching a dagger in his hand, a dagger sticky with blood—his own or someone else's, he no longer remembered either. He pushed himself up by the hilt of the dagger and continued on. His lungs burned, his skin was icy cold despite the warm spring sunshine, and his limbs were so numb he was afraid the dagger might slip from his fingers. He must not let that happen. That dagger was important somehow. And he walked on, over the rocks and the uneven ground and the thick undergrowth.

He came across a stream, its banks overflowing from the winter rain. He still had the presence of mind to tuck the dagger into his belt before plunging in. The water was much deeper than he'd expected. His feet went out from under him. The pains in his back and his ribs melted into one scorching spear that went through him from chest to shoulder blades, and he had no strength left to fight the current. A branch of driftwood floated past. He held on to it, by instinct rather than a conscious desire to live. Doing so hurt his chest, but the water cooled his pounding head and washed away some of the searing pain and the blood, so the smell no longer assaulted his nostrils. He let the stream carry him away.

So this is how it ends, he thought, feeling blood and life drain out of him. This little stream was to be his River Styx. Not for him the glorious death of the battlefield. Not for him the quiet, peaceful death after a lifetime of ruling and conquering. Not for him even the sudden, tragic death of a great man cut down in his prime. No, for him would be an ignominious death, befitting an ignominious life. Somehow he'd always known it. This was what the Fates had in store for him.

He never quite lost consciousness, though he didn't know how long he floated. At some point, the light shining through his eyelids lost its brightness, but he couldn't tell if it was because the sun was going down or he was dying.

Hands came down on his shoulders. It brought the pain back, and that was how he knew he was still alive. He'd stopped floating. Someone was hauling him up the bank of the stream, dragging him by the arms. So they'd found him, then. He was dropped unceremoniously over the rocky ground, where he lay motionless, waiting for the soft whisper of a sword being drawn from its sheath, for the final blow to end his misery, for eternal darkness to engulf him at last.

When it never came, he forced his eyes open.

For a moment, he thought he really was dead, and he was facing Charon—a dark shape loomed over him, with fire for eyes and a hairy, oddly-shaped head. The words of the Aeneid, learned from his youth, came to his mind unbidden.

A sordid god: down from his hairy chin;

A length of beard descends, uncombed, unclean;

His eyes, like hollow furnaces on fire;

A girdle, foul with grease, binds his obscene attire...

Now he knew he was dying. Since when did he start remembering poetry?

Something warm and moist brushed his face, a snort stirred his wet hair, and the illusion broke. It wasn't Charon that stood over him, but some sort of animal, perhaps a horse. The fiery eyes moved, and he realized they were a torch, held in the hand of a person—a real person, with a cowl covering the head, keeping the face in the shadow. Savior or executioner?

He twisted his head to avoid the animal's inquisitive nose. Even such a tiny movement hurt. A pair of small feet, clad in old leather sandals, stood beside him. A pair of slim ankles, brushed by the long hem of a dark gown. A woman's feet.

Gentle hands turned him over. He tried to focus. In the light of the torch, he found himself looking into a pair of green eyes, as green as the hills of Caledonia, as green as the forests of Germania, as green as the water of the Euphrates, eyes that soothed and calmed and took away his pains. 

And, as he looked into those eyes, Emperor Geta, the Imperator Caesar Publius Septimius Geta Augustus, uttered the one word he'd never thought he would say, in all twenty-eight years of his life: "Help."

Darkness took him then.

***

Daphne stared at the soldier lying on the bank of the stream by her feet. He was a soldier, that much she was certain of, despite his lack of armor. It was a good thing too, for he would've sunk to the bottom of the stream had he been wearing all those heavy metal plates. But what had happened to him? How did he come to be here, all bedraggled and bloody? Had there been a battle nearby that she didn't know about? Ever since the previous spring, when war with Parthia had broken out again, Daphne had seen her fair share of soldiers marching through the countryside. Her village was too small, tucked away as it was amongst the hills, to receive much attention from the army, but she'd heard complaints of people from bigger towns who had had their crops taken, their draft animals seized, and their lives disrupted by the war. Even her younger brother, Attikos, had been recruited by the army. He was now serving in a garrison somewhere in the north, and every day her family lived in fear that he would not come back. Daphne, whose own life had been disrupted by another war that took place nearly ten years ago and thousands of miles away, tried her best to ignore the battles that raged on just across the border, knowing there was nothing she could do about them.

But now, it seemed, the battles had found their way to her.

The soldier at her feet let out a groan, and her healer's nature took over. Putting the torch down, she slipped her hands under his arms and lifted him up. The soldier, though muscular, wasn't a big man, and Daphne was strong from all the climbing and walking she had to do every day, so with only some grunting and heaving, she managed to put him on the back of her donkey, Midas, who was hovering helpfully nearby. "Come, Midas," she said, and with the torch in one hand, she led the donkey back to their camp, in one of the many caves that dotted the bottom of the hills.

That spring, as soon as the pistachio trees began putting out their clusters of green blooms tipped with pink, Daphne had left her hut for her bi-annual journey to gather herbs and medicine, while hoping that nobody at the village would be so inconsiderate as to fall ill or go into labor while she was away. It was a journey she had been making with her grandmother since she was old enough to tell wild carrot from poisonous hemlock, and one she'd always looked forward to as a child. For days on end, the two of them would wander up and down the hills and valleys of the Balikh River, searching amongst the new growth that had sprung up after the winter rain, looking for leaves and flowers with healing powers. For Daphne, it had been like playing, running through the plants, gathering up armfuls of fragrant leaves and flowers, cooking on an open fire, sleeping under the stars or in a cave. It was the only playtime she ever had. In the autumn, they would come back for roots and seeds and dry branches, but she loved the spring trip the best.

Now, as a grown woman, Daphne still loved the journey, though she also understood why her grandmother had taken her along all those years ago. It wasn't because Daphne had been that much help, or because her grandmother had wanted to give Daphne a rest from helping her mother and taking care of her brothers. It was simply because the old woman wanted someone to talk to. Back at the village, there were always people coming and going, seeking help. Out here, with nothing but the sky above and the ground beneath her, Daphne sometimes felt as though she was the only person alive in the whole of creation. There was Midas, of course, but as sweet as he was, a donkey was not much company.

So it was with a strange sense of relief and gratitude that Daphne lowered the soldier onto the ground, stoked the fire higher, and cut open his tunic to look at his wounds. Yes, this was something odd and unsettling and perhaps dangerous as well, but at least she wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts for the night. She would have company, even if he was unconscious, and more importantly, she would have something to occupy herself with.

The wounds—there were two, one on his back near the shoulder and one between his ribs, just below his chest—were deep but clean, clearly made by a blade. Whatever had happened to him, the soldier had certainly been favored by Fortuna. His cloak had softened the blow, and the blade had only gone through the fleshy part of his shoulder. At the front, the blade had also been deflected somehow and had slipped between his ribs instead of burying itself in his heart. There was no blood bubbling at the corner of his mouth, and his breathing was shallow but steady, meaning his lung had been spared. The soldier's trip down the stream had cleaned the wounds, leaving only a small trickle of blood.

Daphne opened her jar of vinegar, which she always brought along in case she found some plants that needed preserving, cut a strip of linen from the soldier's tunic, which was ruined anyway, dipped it in the vinegar, and carefully cleaned the wounds again. There was also a rather nasty bruise on the back of his head, but that would have to wait. Thank the gods she had her suturing needle and thread with her. She'd never gone on a long journey without them, not after the time she fell down a ravine and cut her foot. Had she been further away from home then, she would not have made it back. Yet another reason her grandmother had insisted on bringing along a helper.

The soldier's flesh trembled and twitched under the vinegar cloth. Daphne, bending over the wounds, didn't see him move. She only heard a hiss of steel and jumped back just in time to avoid the blade as it flashed in the firelight, right across her face. The soldier shot up, a dagger clutched in his hand, his eyes wide open, dark and enormous in the dimness of the cave. They were blank and unfocused, and she knew he saw nothing at all.

"Murderer!" he said in a hoarse whisper. "Traitor!"

Something hot and wet oozed down her cheek. Daphne clamped a hand to it and felt pain blaze across her cheekbone. The soldier's dagger had cut her. Had she been a fraction of a heartbeat slower, it would've taken out her nose or even her eye.

"You fool!" she shouted. Her grandmother would have something to say about the wisdom of arguing with a delirious man wielding a dagger, but Daphne had no time for wisdom at the moment. "You utter fool! I'm trying to save your life!" Blood was dripping down the side of her face, warm and sticky on her jaw.

The soldier wasn't listening. He was still ranting and raving about murderers and traitors, and something else in Latin, which Daphne couldn't understand. Then he tried to push himself to his feet, only to collapse in a heap by the fire. The dagger clattered out of his hand.

Daphne approached him cautiously, holding her injured cheek. He was motionless, though his chest was still moving up and down in weak, rapid breaths. Not wanting to take any risk, she picked up the dagger and tucked it into her pack, and, as extra precaution, bound the soldier's hands with some rope. Then, after wrapping some bandages around her cheek to stop the bleeding, she put more wood into the fire to stoke it higher, so its light filled the cave and reached even the furthest corner. Under that light, she sutured the soldier's wounds, using small, careful stitches just the way her grandmother had taught her. Once this was done, she went out again, torch in hand, passed the snoozing Midas by the mouth of the cave, and started searching the ground along the stream. She had seen some early-blooming goldenrods there—she never bothered to gather them, since they were abundant all around the hills of her village and in her own garden, but now she filled her mantle with the small yellow flowers.

The soldier was still unconscious by the time she came back. Good. She didn't want him awake and squirming and tearing the stitches. She crushed the goldenrod blooms and mixed them with vinegar into a bitter-smelling poultice, put it on his wounds and his bruise, and wrapped them in clean bandages. Some of the poultice she saved to put on her own wound as well, though the suturing would have to wait until the morning, when she could see her face more clearly.

With a sigh, Daphne sat back by the fire, trying not to wince as the vinegary poultice pressed into her cut. Her patient was lying peacefully enough, covered in her blanket, though he still writhed and grimaced from time to time.

She looked at him more closely, with curiosity. He was not a young man, though he was not yet old either, perhaps close to thirty. The same age as her husband, Galen, had he lived. But this man was no common foot soldier like her Galen had been. For all the ordinariness of his clothing, she could tell he was a patrician. It was there in the fine wool of his tunic, much finer than the coarse undyed linen of a soldier's, in the soft leather of his boots, in the gleaming buckles of his belt, in the carved ring on the little finger of his left hand. It was there in his face as well, in the high forehead framed by short dark curls, in the eyebrows that seemed locked in a permanent scowl above his fine-shaped nose, in the strong mouth and firm jaw covered by a neatly trimmed beard. Those noble features only heightened the riddle of the man, a riddle Daphne had no hope of solving any time soon.

Well, a good night's rest would bring clarity and wisdom in the morning, as her grandmother had always said. Leaving the mysterious soldier on the other side of the fire, Daphne wrapped herself in her mantle, lay down on the hard floor of the cave, and fell into a tired sleep, her cheek still smarting.

***

The fire had burned down to embers and the pale gray light of dawn was shining in from the mouth of the cave when Daphne was wakened by a shuffling sound. It was the soldier, who was pulling weakly at his bound wrists. His eyes were open, and though they were still dazed, some of the delirium in them had faded.

"What's the meaning of this?" he croaked. "Who are you? What have you done to me?!"

"Please, calm yourself," said Daphne, scrambling to her feet and holding up a hand. "I have to tie you up because you were tossing about. Calm yourself before you tear your wounds open. You're safe."

"Safe?" he repeated, almost to himself. "No... not safe... not safe..." The delirium was settling in again. She had to get a few things out of him before he lost consciousness or worse.

"What's your name?" she asked. "Which legion do you belong to? Is your camp close by?" He showed no sign of hearing her and only looked about the cave with wide, panic-stricken eyes. Daphne stepped closer and pulled her mantle down so he could see her face more clearly. "Is there anyone I can go to for help?"

His hand shot out and gripped her wrist so tightly it hurt. He fixed those enormous eyes on her. "No!" he shouted, though it came out little more than a rasping whisper. "Tell no one! Danger... must hide..." Then his eyes glazed over, and he dropped to the floor, fingers slowly loosening from her wrist.

Daphne made her way back to the other side of the dying fire and sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, rubbing her sore wrist. The soldier's fear was contagious. What had happened to him was no mere battle wounds, she could see that now. He had rambled about murderers and traitors... but was he the victim of murderers and traitors, or was he himself a murderer and traitor? Was he in danger, or was he the danger?

It was a two days' journey to the nearest town, Carrhae, and four days back to her village. The sensible thing to do was to bring him to Carrhae and leave him there for the authority to deal with. But with his injuries, he may not survive the trip. And even if they made it to Carrhae, a lone soldier, very possibly a deserter or even a turncoat, would not merit much attention. The magistrate there may leave him to die. Daphne wasn't sure she could live with that on her conscience. As she watched the unconscious soldier, she couldn't help thinking of her Galen, dead these eight years and buried somewhere in the cold, barbaric hills of Caledonia. What if something like this had happened to Galen as well? What if he'd been separated from his fellow soldiers and stumbled through a foreign land, lost and injured? And what if some woman had also happened upon him, but had decided to let him die because she thought he was too much trouble? What if this soldier had someone waiting for him?

With such thoughts circling around her head like a swarm of angry bees, there was no going back to sleep for her. As soon as the light turned from gray to white, Daphne went to the stream to fetch a pan of water, stopping briefly to check on Midas, who was contentedly cropping the grass around the mouth of the cave.

Her reflection in the stream made Daphne realize why the soldier had been so frightened upon seeing her. With dried blood down one side of her cheek, her eyes sunken from lack of sleep, and her hair all wild, she must have looked, to him, like one of the Furies. Returning to the cave, she tried to stitch the cut on her cheek as best she could, using the pan of water as a mirror. It was going to leave a scar for sure. Oh well. She had never been a great beauty anyway.

She then boiled the water to make some porridge for breakfast. As she ate, she dug around in her store of foraged plants and herbs and found some valerian, which she steeped into a tea to help the soldier sleep. He swallowed the tea easily enough, though Daphne knew what he really needed was some tincture of poppy, which was stored in a precious glass vial on the highest shelf back in her hut, four days away. But could she bring him back there? The villagers would not take kindly to a stranger.

Leaving the soldier in the cave, Daphne returned to the stream with Midas by her side. Mysteriously wounded men or not, she was determined to finish her trip. Throughout the morning, she worked hard on the bank, cutting down armfuls of young willow, as these large trees were of better quality than the scraggy bushes near her village. She took care not to stray too far from the cave and returned from time to time to check on the soldier, who remained unconscious. In the light of day, he was looking very pale. Whatever she was going to do with him, she had to decide quickly. Although his wounds were not fatal, he had lost a lot of blood, and if the wounds became poisoned, there was little she could do for him out here.

Daphne was busy stripping the leaves from the willow branches to get at the medicinal bark when Midas gave a warning bray. She turned around and saw two soldiers striding toward her from upstream. She quickly pulled the mantle over her head to conceal her face, while still keeping an eye on them. They were dressed much more elaborately than her patient, in chainmail and helmets, and carrying swords and shields emblazoned with a scorpion. Dressed for battle. What kind of battle could they expect here, in this lonely valley amongst these rocky hills of Osroene?

The soldiers had spotted her and were quickening their steps. She remained where she was, with her back to them, feigning oblivion.

"You there! Old woman!" shouted one of the soldiers in Greek. Old woman? They must have been fooled by her dark mantle and her hunched form. Part of Daphne was offended, but another part of her was glad. She didn't like to think what such beastly men would do to a lone woman in the wilderness. "On your feet! We have some questions for you!"

Daphne gripped her knife more tightly in her palm, concealing it between the folds of her chiton. With her other hand, she pulled herself up by holding on to a willow tree, making sure to keep her back stooped, trying to appear like an old, decrepit hag. 

"Have you seen a wounded man around here?" one of the soldiers asked. He was young, with a face like a rat. He took off his helmet to wipe at his forehead, revealing thin tuffs of pale blonde hair.

Daphne hesitated. These men could be her patient's fellow legionaries, and she could simply hand him over to them and not have to worry about him any longer. However, she was now seeing them more clearly, and the brutal, fierce look on their faces made her knees tremble. She could be handing her patient to his executioners.

"Wounded?" she said in a low rasp. "Why would there be any wounded men around here? Was there a battle? Have the Parthians invaded us?"

"Calm down, you silly old hag," the other soldier said. He was older and darker. A scar ran from his left eye down his cheek, making him look even more vicious. "There was no battle," he continued. "Our fellow soldier simply—had an accident while marching, and we lost track of him. We're trying to find him before he gets seriously hurt. If you've seen him, tell us, and the army will reward you handsomely."

A likely story. Those wounds were no accident. Daphne shook her head. "No," she said. "No, I haven't seen a soul."

The two soldiers glanced at each other in exasperation and something else, too. Fear? Worry?

"He can't have gone this far," the blonde soldier said. "If Martialis had managed to wound him before he was killed—"

"Quiet, you idiot!" the dark one hissed. He pulled his partner away from Daphne's earshot, but some of his angry words floated back to her. "This is your fault! If you'd gone with Martialis to make sure the deed was done, none of this would've happened! Now we're trampling all over this Gods-forsaken land, searching for a needle in a haystack..."

So Martialis—whoever he was, or had been, by the sound of it—must have been the one who attacked her patient. And then her patient had killed Martialis and escaped? Daphne wasn't quite sure what the soldiers' conversation meant, but she was sure that there was some conspiracy here, and those men were in on it.

Her heart stopped. The two soldiers had noticed the cave and were making their way toward it. If they found her patient, they would know she'd lied...

"I wouldn't go poking around in there if I were you, young masters," she called out. The soldiers paused near the mouth of the cave and turned back to frown at her. She bent down a little, so that her cowl fell over her face. "These hills are teeming with scorpions and venomous snakes, and they like nothing more than a cool, dark place like that to hide from the sun," she continued. "They would not take kindly to being wakened from their nap."

The soldiers drew back, peering into the dark of the cave warily as if they could see these snakes and scorpions lurking there.

"I told you, he can't have gone far," the blonde, rat-faced soldier repeated to his partner. "We would've seen him by now. Unless he'd fallen into the stream. And if he had, he's done for anyway."

The dark-haired soldier lifted his heavy mail away from his neck and looked at the sun, which was getting higher in the sky and burning hotter. "Yes, I don't think anyone can survive such wounds out here," he said. "Let's go."

They went back the way they came and eventually disappeared behind the rocky hills. Daphne let out a breath of relief. Carrying her bundles of willow bark, she returned to the cave, where her patient was still lying by the remnants of the fire, breathing his shallow breaths and wincing in his sleep. Daphne sighed. It looked like she was going to have to cut her trip short this year.

"Don't make me regret this," she said, though he couldn't hear her.

Chapter 2

A note on the setting: I know that based on the location of the story (Osroene, now southeastern Turkey), the people were more likely to be Mesopotamian than Greek, but I don't know much about Mesopotamian culture and the research overwhelmed me a bit, so I went with Greek for simplicity's sake. A later chapter does include an explanation as to why there is a Greek community in the middle of Mesopotamia (I doubt anyone would care, but I'm a stickler for historical accuracy, even in an alternate history fic.)

Taglist: @sheneedsrocknroll92 (as usual, if you want to be tagged, let me know!)

[luveline]

hey! would you mind writing sirius black x reader (ole flame or something) when they meet for the first time since azkaban at a meeting for the order? thank you and happy holidays!

thank u for requesting, hope this is OK! ♡

—you and sirius both get to go home eventually, 2.2k. fem

You were still kids when Sirius… went away. You thought he hurt James and Lily, and it didn't matter that you loved him because he was evil and cruel and he hurt the people he loved most in the world, and then you were outposted thousands of miles eastward, your life a shadow. 

Remus sent you letters. You always answered, even when it hurt, but his last was too much to believe. You told yourself that someone forged his handwriting through a curse or some new gimmick, and then a second arrived with a smaller envelope hidden inside. 

No name written on it. No Dear anything to begin. 

Things are different to what you've been told. Please come home, it said. This penmanship was shaken like a hand out of practice, but something felt familiar in the curves and dots. 

If Remus’ letter (and the second smaller one too) were in fact telling the truth, it means you did something awful, and so, for a while, you don't go. 

Please, the next letter says, again enclosed within a larger explanation from Remus, I'm sorry. I just want to see you again. 

Getting home isn't as simple as he might think. You have to picture the destination very clearly to disapparate, and you have no sustained recollection anymore of the places you used to go. You remember silly things, slices of memories; the four of them laughing in a big green field, the sweet smell of hair oil to your left; the beige walls of a rented flat where you'd lay in bed for hours, sometimes days at a time, before things got too terrible to sleep; a string-lit garden that last summer, hands of poker on a glass table. These places aren't real anymore. You can't go back to them. 

Upon your request, Molly forwards you an address and a secret code. 

Trains, buses, trains again. A long walk through a cold street. Some secret this or that. You arrive in the night and a frowning face ushers you in, past a painting sealed away and up the creaking stairs. You spend hours sitting on the end of a bed coated in dust waiting for the sun to rise, your back stiff with nerves. You could slip out before anyone else knows you're here, it's not as if Moody would give you away. But why did you come, if you were going to run straight back to your outpost? 

You don't want Sirius’ betrayal to be true, of course. It took your breath away imagining what it would mean if he hadn't done what you thought. If it's all lies (as it seems to be), if he's innocent as he and Remus claim, it means you turned your back on him and left him to suffer, and he's still asking you to come home. 

A few people stir for breakfast. Molly, who's voice you remember, and some younger sounding ones that may be her children, or perhaps the newer Order recruits. Then comes Remus’ voice. He sounds different. Less Welsh, more tired. Homely anyways as he passes your door with someone beside him. 

“...any day now,” he's saying, “try not to worry.” 

“I do worry. I've worried about it every day for years.” 

You freeze up. 

The stairs creak, Remus’ voice moving further away. “She doesn't need worrying.” 

Sirius must stay at the top of the stairs for a moment. He sounds close. “I wouldn't know what she needs.” 

“Come have some breakfast.” 

“I'll write her again.” 

“After breakfast.” 

“What if she doesn't come?” 

“After breakfast,” Remus insists. “She can ignore you once we've had toast.” 

“I forgot how funny you are,” Sirius mutters. 

Hearing his voice fills you with doubt. He sounds nothing like he used to, no easy confidence to be heard, just fatigue. 

You look down at your hands. Hearing his voice has a new emotion sprouting, too. When you first learned what had happened to your friends, you felt anger like a knife everywhere you went. How could he do that to them? How could he do it to you, be that person, ruin everything you'd loved and made together? But later, when anger faded and grief ached, you'd missed the Sirius you loved. Shamefully, in longing pangs, you'd toss and turn to dreams where things were different. 

Now there's a chance he might still be that person, and you're hiding from him in his own house. 

“There's someone here,” Molly says as you leave your room, her voice nearly too quiet to hear from the kitchen. “Moody's told me this morning.” 

“What?” Arthur asks. 

“Who?” a younger voice says. 

A small intermission of quiet. “Well, I don't know,” Molly says eventually, though she must have guessed it was you from the letter you sent. “But I'll need another loaf of bread. You'd better go, boys.” 

“Mum,” one whines. 

“Come on now.” 

The stairs whimper as you descend, the bannister sticky with old gloss under your hand. Paisley wallpaper and drapes catch your eye as you pass the overflowing shoe rack. There must be more people here than you'd thought. The coat stand is similarly overloaded. 

You can see into the kitchen as soon as you take the last step down. Molly stands wringing a dish cloth between her hands, two teenage boys at the kitchen table. Remus stands near her right with a cup of tea, and when he sees you, he genuinely smiles. 

“Oh, good,” he says, the scar that bisects his lip pulling as he takes a sip of tea. 

The teenagers turn to see you. “Bread, boys! Arthur, you can go with them," Molly says.

Arthur doesn't complain. You falter in the hallway, quiet as the trio of Weasley's leave the kitchen in their slippers to take a quiet exit from the front door. They smile politely as they go, but the boys whisper as the door shuts behind them. You wonder if they have an inkling of who you are, and then you wonder what you might say now they're gone. 

Molly remains, inquisitive to know that you need privacy but also the security of her company. She was always smart like that.

“Come in, then,” Remus says. 

“I–” You clear your throat. “I'm not sure I should.” 

A startle of silverware against china. 

Remus gives you one of his looks. It has tears threatening to well. Why didn't I fight to see him more? you think. Suddenly years have passed and he's changed, but his reassuring glances remain. It's like he's saying everything is fine, why wouldn't everything be fine? Chin up, dove.

Sirius appears in the doorway. Dark circles beneath grey eyes, his cheeks gaunt with hunger rather than the sleek sharpness he once possessed. He's still pretty, if wounded. It's as though you've found an old photo of him that's been smudged with age. He's stepped out of one of your moulding albums to haunt you. 

“Angel,” he breathes, his hand clasped low on the doorway, “you're here.” 

You look past him to Molly and Remus. There isn't a reality nor dimension where they'd let him stay here if they didn't believe his innocence. Remus explained it all in the letter and still you worried if he might have gotten it wrong, and simply believed what he wanted to believe, but it's not possible. Remus loved James so much, he would've killed Sirius himself if he really thought Sirius was the secret keeper who betrayed them. 

So. It's a relief to be home. 

You stare at him. “You look tired,” you say quietly. 

“I'm fine. I am.” 

He seems alright, considering. You'd even say he was handsome with his hair pushed away from his face, a dark shadow of stubble around his mouth, but he looks exhausted.  

You're expecting him to say what you'd say. How could you ever think I'd do it? 

Sirius was prone to similar bouts of pride, or righteousness, justice, whatever you want to call it, but he doesn't bother with that now. He looks at you as though you're the only person on earth, gaze narrowed but eyes wide, pain between his brows as he asks, “What's wrong?” 

Your hand finches up to your cheek to wipe the sudden tear away. “I thought I'd never see you again.” Your Sirius. 

“Don't be upset,” he pleads. 

“How can I not be? I left you all alone for so long.” 

He laughs roughly. “Sweetheart, what were you supposed to do?” 

“Not just give up.” 

“You thought it was me. That's the only thing you could've done. Either of you,” he says, gesturing backward with his hand. “It was hard… to know who to trust, at the end. It's not your fault.” 

You really were only kids together, not half as in love as James and Lily, but that doesn't mean you weren't mad for each other. He looked after you. You would've had a life, you think. 

“You were just gone,” you say, looking down at the floor between you, eyes tracing lines of wood grain. “Everyone. There was nobody left. And I just let you go.” 

“Do you want to come here?” he asks. You lift your head. His hand is barely in front of him, fingers open, palm up. 

It's like taking a stranger's hand for the first few seconds. You keep them low between you both, unfamiliar to each other. But, you find, as his fingers wrap around yours in that selfish way they used to do, squeezing rather than intertwining to make all of them fit, he remembers you.

You step a little closer, your arm to his chest, and look up at him through your lashes. It would melt him like a candle near a furnace, this look. He'd be smug or seething about something and you'd sidle in to stand between his shoes, unsure of what to say but determined to be there for him. It's the same now.  

“What's wrong?” he asks under his breath. 

“I left you all alone,” you repeat. 

“It wasn't your choice, okay?” He smooths his free hand from your elbow to your upper arm. 

Molly says something to Remus. He chuckles and says something in return. Happier to admit it if it's only for Sirius’ ears, you say, “I'm really sorry, Sirius. I miss you every day.” 

“I miss you too,” he says. 

You push your arms around his waist and hide your face in his chest, feeling for the lines of who he used to be, the dip of his spine in his back or the soft cotton of one of his old t-shirts. You regret hugging him at all, until he puts his arm behind your head, a shaky breath released against your crown. 

I'm scared, he'd said. But I don't want you to be scared, okay? Barely twenty, he smelled of the sticky red powder on the end of matches after a night doing things he couldn't tell you about. You could tell him you loved him, and he you, but you weren't to discuss Order business. We'll be okay. 

But Lily–

Everyone's going to be fine. I promise. 

“You promised,” you say to yourself. Too quiet for him to hear, but he does. 

“I promised you so many things I'm not sure what one you mean,” he says with a disappointed laugh. 

You pull away, taking his face into two hands. “How do you feel?” you ask, ignoring the tremble working up from your wrists. 

“What?” His eyes are dark. 

“How are you? Did they– I mean, are you okay? Are you sick?” 

“Remus has patched me up. And Cordelia, the medwitch, you know her?” 

“I don't know anyone. I've been away.” 

He nods sadly. “Yeah. Well, you look the same.” 

“I don't.” 

“You do! You look the same,” —he almost sounds happy, his lips curling into a smile— “sweetheart. Sweetheart–” He closes his eyes. 

You push his hair behind his ears. “You don't look the same,” you confess, “you have wrinkles, right… here.” You touch the corners of his eyes. 

“You're still beautiful.” 

“Mm. You can't even see me.” 

“I don't need to see you. I knew you would be.” 

You rise up to kiss his cheek gently. “It's like you're back, like– like, I always felt like you were gone. And now you're home again. You are home, aren't you?” 

He covers your hand with one of his. “You're here, so–” 

You laugh together nervously. “Yeah, I'm here.” 

“I have stuff to do to make it right.” 

“Then we'll do it.” 

“Okay,” he says. He swallows a breath, and wraps you in a surprisingly tight hug. “Did you read my letters?” 

I don't want anything from you. Just to see you're okay. 

“I read them. I'm okay. Don't I look okay?” 

“You look perfect. Just like the last time I saw you,” he says. It startles you how suddenly he sounds like he did when you were young, his flirting drawl, voice velveteen. 

“Not like that,” you laugh. 

He pulls you as close as you can be, rough now, his arms solid around you. “I missed that,” he says, rubbing your back. “I forgot how you sound when you laugh.” 

You've led very different lives. “I didn't forget yours.” 

“You wouldn't. You love having things to hold against me.” 

You stroke his hair. “Maybe a little.” 

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi there, what's your take on Lupin's atitude towards Harry and their relationship

I think that the scene at Grimmauld Place, on deathly hallows is a very cathartic one. Harry is seeing one of his last father figures fall from a pedestal, and for me Harry acted on the right here, what do you think?

Like, their relationship is one that I'm a little weird about. Like, I'm not a big fan of Lupin, as I mentioned here. And I kinda hate when fanon treats him like Harry's cool uncle or similar to Sirius in his treatment of Harry. That is so not the case with Lupin. Like, Lupin is an expert at messing his social life up, so any relationship he's part of can't be simple.

I saw another post once that stated that it's telling that Harry calls the Mauraders: James, Sirius, Lupin, and Wormtail in his head, and yes, that is telling. The fact he keeps calling him Lupin even after Lupin makes him his son's godfather is telling regarding their emotional closeness — or lack thereof.

Harry doesn't trust Lupin the way he trusted Sirius. During 3rd year, he's the one pressing Lupin and chasing him to teach him the Patronus Charm. Lupin never mentions, in all their interactions that he knew Harry's parents. In the movies, Lupin was much more paternal towards Harry than in the books. Book Lupin is having a mental breakdown every time he looks at Harry and sees his dead friend. He lives in a constant state of guilt and I think, in book 3 he has no idea how to even approach Harry and this topic since he knows it'll bring up uncomfortable questions such as: "Where were you for 12 years?" along with digging up memories of his past that Lupin doesn't seem interested in reminiscing about until Sirius forces him to.

“All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn’t do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I’d betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I’d led others along with me . . . and Dumbledore’s trust has meant everything to me.

(PoA, 356)

He says the above regarding Sirius, but the same is true for anything else in his life. Especially when it comes to his treatment of Harry. He wants to reach out, he wants to say something, but then he gets stuck wondering if he should and ends up not doing anything. He chickens out, basically.

Then Lupin disappears for, like, the entirety of book 4. Harry's in a death tournament? well, Lupin doesn't seem to care. Like, I think he does care, in a general sort of way, but he got wrapped in his own guilt and indecision that he just never makes an appearance. He probably convinced himself Harry would be worse off if Remus was there because that's what he does. He made joint appearances with Sirius and the Order in book 5, where he's clearly saying everything he needs to say to please as many people as possible because he wants to be liked. I do want to note this scene from book 5 that I feel is overlooked:

“Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. “We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry —” “They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe —” “That’ll just depress them.” “— and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?” Lupin smiled but made no answer.

(OotP, 54)

I hate this passage so much, you don't even know. Like, in my most recent reread of OotP once I read this line I closed the book and took a month-long break from my reread. Like, reading this is chewing glass for me. Because the only question on my mind is: "How could you, Remus?"

Like, I just can't imagine having an ex-student of yours, or even worse, the son of your dead best friend, tell you they don't want to go back home, that their relatives would rather they won't be safe — and all you do is give a cryptic half-assed smile.

Like, if we go with the most generous interpretation of Lupin's character, we can say he does feel awful about it but he, again, is trapped in his own indecision. Dumbledore gave him orders, and according to them Harry must return to the Dursleys, but he also cares about Hary's well-being in a vague sort of way. So, that smile we see here is Lupin trying to be reassuring through his guilt and failing miserably.

Then, of course, we can go with less favorable interpretations of how he, like many other characters, is a product of his society and upbringing. The Wizarding World doesn't really have the concept of social care and they don't really see abuse the way we do. That he honestly thinks Harry is speaking in hyperbole and is smiling because he thinks Harry's being dramatic like James used to be.

I think the truth is somewhere in between these two options, tbh.

Then he has his romance with Tonks, but Harry isn't really privy to most of it and it doesn't really concern him.

Then, we get to book 7 and that scene you mentioned.

Now, obviously, I think Harry is in the right. I think Lupin is, once again, being an indecisive cowered. Something he is very aware of. I think Harry is right in calling him out, although, perhaps it could have been done better. Both Harry and Lupin lost their tempers a bit during this scene and it shows. But, still, Harry is right about everything he says and Lupin knows this. That's why he gets angry enough to actually attack Harry. Because he has no way to argue against the truth.

“Tonks is going to have a baby.” “Oh, how wonderful!” squealed Hermione. “Excellent!” said Ron enthusiastically. “Congratulations,” said Harry. Lupin gave an artificial smile that was more like a grimace, then said, “So . . . do you accept my offer? Will three become four? [...] “Just—just to be clear,” he said. “You want to leave Tonks at her parents’ house and come away with us?” “She’ll be perfectly safe there, they’ll look after her,” said Lupin. He spoke with a finality bordering on indifference. “Harry, I’m sure James would have wanted me to stick with you.” “Well,” said Harry slowly, “I’m not. I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually.” Lupin’s face drained of color. [...] “You don’t understand,” said Lupin at last. “Explain, then,” said Harry. Lupin swallowed. “I-I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and I have regretted it very much ever since.” “I see,” said Harry, “so you’re just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?” Lupin sprang to his feet: His chair toppled backward, and he glared at them so fiercely that Harry saw, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face. “Don’t you understand what I’ve done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I’ve made her an outcast!” Lupin kicked aside the chair he had overturned.

(DH, 184)

He knows Harry is right, but he also truly believes marrying Tonks was a mistake for how she and the yet unborn Teddy would have to live their lives with him being a werewolf. He feels guilty and awful and he's trying to do here what Lupin always does — run away from his problems. Except, in the above scene, Harry doesn't let him have a pretty excuse for running off. Because when Lupin runs from his issues, he always makes sure to have an excuse. Somehow the excuse is always: "I'm a werewolf, and I'll make everything worse". I mean, he quit being the DADA teacher before they could fire him. All he does is run before the other shoe drops. Because Lupin is convinced the shoe is there. He lived all his life with this constant fear. The moment Lupin sniffs an uncertain situation he bolts in the other direction.

Like, I know some call Pettigrew the cowardly Maruader, but, really, it's been Lupin all along. (Peter is also a coward, but a very different flavor of coward).

And I think, later in book 7, when Lupin makes Harry Teddy's godfather, that's his way of apologizing for the past 16 years. He's apologizing to Harry for wanting to run away from Tonks, (and Harry, and everything else). This decision is a sort of 'thank you' to Harry for convincing him to stick around and not be a coward for once in his life, and it turned out good. It's also a decision that basically promises Harry Lupin isn't going to disappear from his life again. That, to me, was Lupin's character development and apology. It's him saying he's stopping with his guilt-ridden indecision and that he is settling down. He isn't running anymore and he wants Harry as part of his and his son's lives.

But, we didn't really get to see that happen, if he'll really stick to it or run away again because he died.

[elegantlyeva]

Hi! if you are up for it can you write something with James potter and ice skating? Maybe r has been ice skating for years and James hasn't ever stepped foot on ice but is amazing somehow?

DAY TWO

Unfairly Balanced

Summary: James was much too good at ice skating for it to be his first time.

Word Count: 0.4K 

It was the last time you were ever going to be comforted by the fact that James Potter might be bad at something just because he had never tried it.

He was skating circles around you, for Merlin's sake.

The huff you let out caused him to laugh. "What’s wrong, sweetheart?" His tone was a mix of fondness and teasing.

The glare on your face intensified. “I’m the one who takes lessons. Shouldn’t I be better than my supposedly amateur skating boyfriend?”

He shrugged. “I’m a quick learner.”

You rolled your eyes. “We’ve been here five minutes.”

He was about to say something—likely a joke, you presumed—but before he could, a first year went tumbling into you. Before you could fall, James grabbed your upper arms to steady you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, slightly embarrassed after scolding him just five minutes earlier for being good at the sport.

The first year stood up, muttering apologies profusely, until you waved the poor kid off.

You turned to face James. “Sorry. I’m being unfair. I’m happy you’re doing so well. I just wanted to help you…” Then you admitted, “That’s not true. I wanted to make fun of you first, then help you.”

He let out a cheerful laugh, the apples of his cheeks red from the cold. “Sorry, love. This is what happens when you have a multi-talented boyfriend.”

You replied dryly, “Ha. Ha.” Still, you were more than happy when he took your hand to skate around the edge of the frozen lake.

Another hour and a half passed before most of the students had left. The sun was setting, and you were ready to go inside too—your skating had become sloppy from exhaustion.

James looked perfectly fine, unaffected by the time spent skating.

“I don’t understand. It took me at least 30 minutes to skate without holding the wall, much less do laps around an area at the speed you’re going.” A hint of jealousy peeked through your tone, and James had the decency to look a bit sorry, maybe even guilty.

He skated to your side, hugging your waist until you were pressed against him, and kissed your pout away.

Once he heard your laughter, he let up his attack and helped you off the ice.

It wasn’t until later that you figured out what had really happened.

“Come on, love,” James groaned, following you like a puppy.

“I knew it! I knew that would've been impossible for you. I thought you were some gifted natural.” You were half-ecstatic, walking out of the Great Hall after Remus had accidentally revealed that James had asked him to charm his skates so they would skate for him.

“We got to skate together. Wasn’t that more fun than having to teach me?”

“No. Watching you fall would’ve been more amusing.”

He rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around you. “Yeah, well,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple, “I’ll make it up to you.”

[sleepiexx]

The Sad Expression on the Face I Love So Much

Remus Lupin x fem!Reader

Note: one bad week and suddenly I’m a fic writing god again. Had a Sirius oneshot planned out and mostly written but I pumped this one out before I could think of an ending to that one so you’re getting this first!

Summary: Your boyfriend patiently awaits your arrival home after a day out with your friends, only to be met with your saddened form.

Warnings: describes what i would refer to as a panic attack, but it’s never expressed to be one

Word count: 1310

Remus was a good man, it was such a shame you couldn’t match his upbeat energy when you entered the door to your shared apartment.

He had heard the front door click open, which sparked a smile on his face. He never wanted to stop your outings with friends, as he knew having relationships with people other than your partner was important— his own friends the truest testament to that statement— yet he couldn’t help but miss you when the house was left without your presence. Which is why he was pleasantly surprised by your early arrival home, no waiting up late for his nightly cuddle tonight, no, rather a nice long cuddle with a movie in the background.

He called out to you as he stood from the couch, scrambling to make his way to the foyer, “you’re home early, darling, how was your day out?”

He stopped in his tracks when he saw you. Your frame stiff, eyes glued to the floor, clearly shined over with tears that have yet to be shed, keys still clutched in your hand, likely because you’d been too distraught to even reach up to put them on the key hook.

“Oh, sweet dear, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” His worried words and the safe environment he had provided made the tears finally fall. In an instant, he was in front of you, wrapping you in his arms. A pained sob ripped its way through your chest, you’d been holding it in far too long.

“My friends…” you began, having a hard time composing yourself to even say what was wrong.

Remus had a hunch what the problem was. He didn’t like your friends for a very specific reason, but he had always stayed firm in the fact that you were the judge in who you were friends with and it was really none of his business who you did and didn’t hang around. He knows he would not listen if you had said you didn’t want him spending time with his friends.

“I- I just… I’ve been really anxious this week,” You started to talk with the shakiest of voices. Remus could tell from the way your breaths started cutting you off that you were beginning to hyperventilate. He didn’t want to stop you from talking it out, though, so he led you to come and sit down beside him where he’d been on the couch before allowing you to continue.

“And irritable— and- and- and you know how I- how I spiral when I’m irritable, because- because I just think such mean thoughts, and- and I just hate myself,” your stutter only got worse the more you revealed, because speaking about it made you think about it, and thinking about it made breathing harder. Not to mention the sniffling you had to do every five seconds so you wouldn’t cover your upper lip in snot.

Remus held your hand, rubbing soothing circles overtop your knuckles and keeping his own breathing as steady as possible in hopes that you would eventually sync up. His free hand moved its way to your back, rubbing up and down.

“I just thought,” you sniffled, futility wiping your face with your sleeve as you continued to cry, “that maybe I’d f-feel- feel better if I went out with- with my friends but..” your lungs seized and your voice came out strained and cracked, “but no.”

You wanted to keep your breathing steady for Remus, but it proved impossible. Your diaphragm seemed to have a mind of its own as it contacted with no care whatsoever of your say so.

“They just kept- kept making that stupid joke,” your voice was drowned in a visceral sadness and a defeated anger, making evident to Remus how you’d held off on sharing your feelings for far too long.

He knew well what joke you were talking about. It never sat right with him, made him clench his fists every time he heard it. It took everything in him not to blow up on your poor excuse of a friend group. He’d played the diplomat with your friends as long as he possibly could.

“Where they-“ sniff. “Pretend that-“ sniff. “They hate me- but- but-“ sniff. “But they get away- get away with it because-“ sniff. “Because I’m such a pushover and- and I never call them ou- out on it.”

Another sob wracked your whole body, Remus pulled you into him, your cheek pressed to his chest as he made a valiant effort to calm you down with his soothing touches.

“I know- I know that I’m a lot-“ sob. “But I- I’m kind. I- I treat th-them good so- so why d-don’t I deserve the same?”

Remus felt his heart drop, holding you steady through what felt like, to you, endless sobbing. He had always thought that you deserved so much more than the friends you made, but he just thought you had a really thick skin towards the subject. Everyone has a breaking point, he supposed, and for his sweet girl, this seemed to be it.

“Oh dove,” he cooed, “of course you deserve better. You are not ‘a lot,’ you are true to yourself, if they don’t understand that then that is their problem. You do so much just for them to be so ungrateful.”

You buried yourself further into him, holding onto him tightly as though he were a buoy in a storm. You sat for a while like that, until you could speak without stuttering as much— still, your quiet voice hardly carried and the heartbroken rasp in it was a sound unlike any heartache Remus had ever experienced “I wish I could control myself sometimes. Just- just make myself shut up once in a while.”

Remus scoffed, “I don’t.”

You looked up at him through heavy lashes, “really?”

You looked as if even a small gust of wind would make you shatter, yet Remus would guard you from it all, wind, or storm, or even shitty friends who don’t appreciate you.

“Of course not, sweetheart, I love how genuine you are. It’s what made me fall for you. That, and how hard you love. I’ve never doubted myself for a second when I’ve been around you.” He brushed some stray hairs from your face, “I have never been able to stand your friends, they aren’t as kind to you as you are to them.”

You nodded. He knew that it would take a while before you fully believed it, but he was willing to shower you in love every day until you believed it. In fact, he was already planning on integrating you into his own friend group, James and Sirius adored you and he had no doubt they’d love the idea. Lily, Marlene, and Mary would all love you too, he knew for a fact that girls nights with them had to be more fun than with your old friends.

For now, though, he’d settle for the calm you’d finally achieved after talking your way through such an intense wave of emotions, he was proud.

“What do you say we go back to our room, have a cuddle, and watch your favorite movie?”

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“Yeah?”

You nod and repeat yourself as he cracks a grin.

You walk hip to hip to your bedroom until you’re finally able to sink into your bed. Remus hands you the tv remote before disappearing into the bathroom, returning with a soft, wet rag covered in makeup remover. Your cheeks seem to tingle as you remember the mess of mascara that must currently paint them, Remus doesn’t hesitate to come wipe you clean. When he’s done, he tosses the rag and leaves a chaste kiss on your nose.

“There,” he mutters, lying beside you and pulling you into his arms, “this is much better, isn’t it?”

[remuslupinslittleslut]

Teach us - Part one

@missakward123: can you do dom! reader poly marauders? Also loved this!! Yes I can, but I have such a hard time writing a sub!Remus, so I kinda took it in my own direction.

Part two is found here!

Reader x Remus turned into Reader x Poly!Marauders.

Masterlist.

They thought it was strange how Remus had been the first to lose his virginity out of the three of them. Both Sirius and James had girls throwing themselves after them constantly, but somehow, Remus was the first to go all the way.

You had always found them all quite attractive, but thought that Sirius and James tended to be a bit obnoxious at times. When you saw Remus studying alone in the library one day, you thought you’d go up and say hi to the tall, handsome guy. The two of you had only talked briefly before this interaction, but soon found that you enjoyed each other’s company. It didn’t take long from there for you to go on a date and soon you were a couple. 

Remus, ever the gentleman, didn’t tell his friends about your first time, he thought it was best kept private between the two of you, therefore you always tried to keep it somewhat lowkey, finding time to be perfectly alone. Though any secret could not be held for long in that dorm and one evening the cat came running and screaming out of the bag. You thought you’d get to be alone with Remus, as the other two had practice. As it turned out, however, practice was canceled and the door to the dorm was thrown open just in time for the two surprised boys to see you orgasm, quivering around Remus’ cock.

It slightly ruined the mood and you struggled to cover yourself as Sirius went on a long rampage about “The betrayal! The absolute betrayal. Our baby moons got laid and didn’t tell us. Here he is, having had sex the whole time – while keeping us in the dark.” He was pacing back and forth, only half joking about his distress before deciding to be the bigger person and be happy for his friend. “Good job Moons. First one out of all of us. Amazing.” With a chef’s kiss he left the subject of betrayal and moved on to something else.

After the embarrassing moment of coming in front of your boyfriend’s friends, it didn’t take long before the question was asked.

“Hey Moony, since you already had sex, could you teach us how to do it?”

“Yeah, Moons, I wanna be ready for when Lily lets me go all the way if you catch my drift,” James agreed, with a very unnecessary wink as everyone understood exactly what he meant.

You stared, gaping. That they would ask such a question didn’t surprise you one bit. The fact that Remus seemed to be actually thinking it over did.

“I guess,” he started, patting your thigh, “you’re gonna ask her if she’s willing to teach you.”

You, teaching his friends how to have sex? The idea was preposterous. Yet… It did make you feel a certain tingle between your legs. You still found them attractive, and the thought of being the one to take their virginities? Oh, that was just beautiful. You thought it over in your head. Remus was quite dominant, not really treating you as a submissive but he liked being a bit in control, he’d never let you have all the reigns. These two however… Looking Remus straight in the eye, you searched for any form of hesitance – you didn’t find any.

“Alright then, we’re gonna have to set some rules,” you said.

It was agreed that the day after, you’d help take your boyfriend’s best friends’ virginities. You said 24 hours to give everyone a chance to back out, and told them very specifically that they would shower, properly, “none of that locker room stuff, a real shower, clean everything.” It was best to be clear when dealing with teenage boys.

A whole 24 hours later you found yourself walking up the stairs to their dorm. You knew Remus would be there, and you knew they’d given consent. You wore your school skirt, but without panties, a t-shirt with a very flattering bra and your hair out. You had to get yourself in that dominant mood, ready to boss the boys around. Since becoming Remus’ girlfriend, you had gotten to know his friends as well. You knew James would be easier to dom, and you knew Sirius would be a little brat. Therefore, you started with James. Opening the door, you could cut the tension with a knife.

The boys were so cute and nervous, standing up and waiting for you (not Remus, of course, he was comfortably splayed out on his own bed). “Jamie,” you said. “Do you still wanna do this?” He nodded. “Okay, then take your clothes off and sit down on your bed. You,” you turned to Sirius, “are gonna have to wait your turn.”

When James was naked and seated on the edge of his bed, you took a moment to appreciate his toned body. The moment didn’t last very long though as you wanted to feel him. Climbing into his lap, thighs straddling his, you took his face and held it in your hands. He was so pretty, so soft, so pliable. “Jamie, have you ever kissed a girl?” you asked him, bringing your mouth so close to his that your lips almost touched his. “No,” he said, cheeks flushing red. Holding onto his cheeks, you brought your lips against his, softly at first, then with a little more pleasure. The warm breath from his nose on your cheek sent chills down your spine. Deciding to progress, you slightly opened your mouth, letting your tongue out to lick lightly at his lips. He moaned.

You continued kissing him, making out really, until you felt he was ready to move on. Leaning back a little, you pulled your top over your head, revealing your soft tits, perfectly framed by your bra. “Go ahead, baby, you can touch.” With your permission, warm hands pressed against your back before following the lines of your body, meeting your front and lightly squeezing your tits. You allowed him to explore freely, until he pushed his head down, paused and looked up at you, eyes asking for permission. Instead of answering him verbally, you pushed your tits against his face, letting him know he could kiss and suck all he wanted. He did manage to get your bra off all on his (you were so proud of him), and as it fell to the floor, you felt his cock twitching.

You let him play some more with your boobies before taking his hand, kissing it once and telling him “Jamie, have you ever felt a girl?” When he shook his head, you kissed the top of his head and pushed his hand down, between your bodies and toward your core. “Feel that? I’m all wet, that’s all for you baby,” you cooed, watching his facial expressions in awe – he was so fascinated. “Now, do you know where your little cock is supposed to go?” Little was a big lie. His brows furrowed in concentration as he felt around for the right hole, he did find it, and pushed a finger in. “Good boy, now put your cock in.” You raised yourself, hovering above him, hand coming down to help him push his cock into your warm hole. “Oh that’s a good boy f’me,” you moaned, loving the feeling of him filling you up.

Being so focused on James had almost made you forget about your audience, looking to the side, you met Remus’ hungry eyes. You could tell he was enjoying the show, hand rubbing against the bulge in his pants. You decided not to look at Sirius, making him wait for your attention.

Grabbing James’ shoulders, you carefully tried moving, sliding yourself along his cock, making you both moan. You tried a few different movements, going up and down, back and forth. It felt really good and you enjoyed playing around with it, and it seemed as though he was enjoying it too, his head thrown back, glasses askew and mouth slightly open. Suddenly his hands squeezed hard on your hips, making you stop your movements. “Jamie, you okay?” You asked, massaging his scalp with your fingers. “Yeah,” he reassured, “yeah, just need to… I’m gonna come…”

You giggled softly, “it’s okay if you do, but first, I wanna do one more thing.” Pulling your body away from his was hard, letting his heavy cock fall out of you was even harder, and you immediately mourned the loss. Though, you knew it would be worth it. Laying down flat on your back, you beckoned for him to join you, to climb on top of you. “You should know how to fuck a girl, Jamie,” you said, helping him find his way back into you. His athletic body was made for this, for moving himself back and forth, hips pushing against yours. He didn’t go very fast, but you knew he’d be able to when he got more used to the feeling. Hiding his face against your neck, letting the vibrations of his moans shoot right through you, his hips started making the smallest, cutest, most desperate little movements. “That’s good baby, that’s a good boy, you’re doing so well, so good, making me feel so good.” You didn’t think you’d be able to come, he was a virgin, but the little thrusts pushed the head of his cock against you in a way that just felt too good to hold back.

“Jamie, baby, I’m ‘bout to come,” you moaned, kissing his head, holding him close, “you’re so go- ah-od,” your moans grew louder as you experienced a rather mild orgasm, though, an orgasm nonetheless. Your walls spasming around him made him come as well, pretty cock filling you up with his little virgin cum.

“Wow, Jamie, you did so well, I’m so proud of you,” you told him, after he had pulled out and collapsed on top of you. His head was still buried in the crook of your neck, his breathing fast and hard. “Did you enjoy it?” You asked, to which he pulled his face away, eyes wide. “Like it? That was amazing.”

You stayed like that, letting him hold onto your body for a while, not wanting to leave him without aftercare and love. Though you knew, as soon as James moved away from you, you’d have to deal with his mischievous best friend. Before you let James continue his cuddling – with Remus – you made him promise you something. “Next time love, you’re gonna let me take your cute little cock in my mouth, okay?” To this, he nodded, excitedly.

Part two.

[psychoticallykind]

Jegumas Day Fourteen - Feast

1,063 words

@noblehouseofgay

--------------------------------------------------------------

The phone rang once before his brother picked up. “Reg?”

“Don’t laugh,” Regulus warned him. He blew out a breath, looking at the ingredients laid out on the table. “I want to cook dinner for James.”

There was a suspicious silence on the other end of the phone.

“Sirius?”

There was a quiet clicking sound. “Yeah, sorry, I had it on mute for a second.”

Regulus’s eyes narrowed. “You were laughing at me.”

“No!” Sirius claimed. “Well. Okay, a little bit. Reggie, you know you’re wonderful at a lot of things, right? Like, absolutely brilliant.”

“…yes, I know.”

“Right,” Sirius agreed. “So, you know, you don’t have to worry about the fact that you shouldn’t try to cook. You love James too much to give him food poisoning.”

“Sirius!” Regulus growled. “I got all of the ingredients for the chili his mom used to make him from his email. But he didn’t email himself the recipe, and I’m hopeless at this kind of stuff, but it’s her birthday today and I know he misses her so I’m trying to make the meal she always made him.”

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Sirius replied. “Okay, now I do feel bad for laughing at you. Do you want me to text you the recipe or do you want me to talk you through it?”

“I’ll manage if you text it,” Regulus said, though in all honesty he wasn’t sure.

“Alright. Call me if you need help.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I won’t.”

Two hours later - thankfully - he had a pot of chili on the stove simmering.

Exactly on time, there was a knock on the front door.

Regulus glanced anxiously at the chili before going to open it, standing back so that Remus could come inside. “Did you get everything?”

“Yeah, Sirius actually made most of it,” Remus replied, bringing the large, insulated bag to the kitchen. “Because he’s better at it. He didn’t tell you?”

“No.” Regulus frowned, making a mental note to yell at his brother later. Or maybe to thank him. Maybe both, now that he thought about it. “Okay, help me set it up.”

“I know, I’m doing it,” Remus mumbled, already setting the containers down. “Okay, so -” he tapped each container as he spoke. “Homemade bread, cookies, tea, and mini cakes from Effie because she’d already made some and wanted James to have them when she heard what we were doing.”

Regulus nodded. “How did you get cakes from Mrs. Potter?”

“She hadn’t left for her cruise yet and Sirius was talking to her over the phone. He got them last night.”

He was definitely going to yell at his brother. Sirius wasn’t allowed to be thoughtful without telling him.

“And he called me sweet,” Regulus grumbled, setting everything nicely on plates. He surveyed the table when they were done, looking over everything. “I think it looks okay.”

“It looks great, Reg. Like a little feast,” Remus told him. He held up the bag. “I’m going to go before James gets here, but don’t panic, okay? You did a great job, he’s going to love it.”

“Yeah, okay.” Regulus tried not to sound anxious. “See you later.”

Remus stepped forward and gave him a quick hug. “Don’t panic.”

“I’m not,” Regulus insisted. ‘”Go home. I’ll text you later.”

The apartment felt too quiet once Remus had left. Regulus knew James would be home any minute now.

He lit candles to improve the atmosphere. Then he stirred the chili. Then he forced himself to take some deep breaths.

Eventually - finally - he heard the sound of James’s key in the door.

Regulus met him in the entryway. “James! How was work? How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright,” James replied, giving him a tired smile. “I called mom, wished her a happy birthday.”

“You’ll see her after her cruise,” Regulus reminded him, hating the sadness lingering over James.

James nodded. “I know. I’m happy for her, she’s really excited about the cruise.”

He’s smiling, but Regulus knows that today has been hard for him. He’s used to spending the day with his parents, and the change has been taking a toll on him for a couple of days now.

James, for all of his spontaneity and impulsivity, has routines he relies on. And spending his parents birthdays with them is one of them.

“It was a good gift,” Regulus replied. He tugged on the edge of his shirt, a little nervous. “Um. I made dinner.”

James gave him a curious look. “You made it?”

“Um. Yeah,” Regulus nodded, fully anxious now. “I made it.”

“I’m sure it’s wonderful,” James smiled, wrapping him in a hug and kissing his forehead. “Thank you for making dinner, love.”

Regulus takes another deep breath before grabbing James’s hand and leading him into the kitchen. “I knew today might be hard for you, so I asked Sirius and Remus to make some things your mom makes. And I made the chili. I got - um, I got the ingredients list from your computer and Sirius sent me the recipe. It might taste a little bit off, because I made it myself, and I’m not really a good cook.” He risked glancing at James then, and immediately panicked. “Oh, James - I’m so sorry. I’m - I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” Regulus apologized, watching a tear fall down James’s cheek.

Of course this was a dumb idea. He’s probably just made James miss her more. “I’ll - I’ll order takeout, we don’t have to-”

“No,” James shook his head, giving Regulus a warm smile. “No, Reg, this is - this is incredible. I’m so grateful.”

Regulus felt like he could breathe again. “Really? You’re not upset?”

James shook his head again. “I’m so thankful. I love you so much. Do you know that? I love you.”

Regulus grinned at the words, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, I know.” He stepped closer, gently wiping the tears from James’s skin. “I love you. You’re really not upset?”

“I’m really not,” James reassured him. He pulled Regulus’s chair out for him. “I can’t believe you did this. Thank you.”

“Of course I did,” Regulus replied. He watched James smile as he took in all of the familiar foods.

The chili, thankfully, tasted perfect. And Regulus watched James smile without any sadness for the first time in days.

[andillneverbethesame]

𝒔𝒍𝒖𝒕!

❥ remus lupin x fem!reader

❥ summary; you and remus can't be left alone.

❥ warnings; celebrity!au & soc. media!au

❥ a/n; inspired by taylor swift's "slut!". this is short af and it sucks, i'm sorry. but i wanted to finish it so badly......... hope u enjoy it anyway, ily yallll

the sun shone bright, its rays gently falling on your wet skin as you watched him swimming in your pool.

it was the first time remus came to visit you to los angeles as you've been in london thousand of times and wanted to show him the beauty your state has to offer. he seemed to like it so far, taking some rest from rainy england in sunny california.

the golden liquid you poured into two wine glasses almost matched the color of his hair as he swam from one end of the pool to another — to you. you handed him one of the glasses and he took it from you with a smile on his face. your fingers brushed with his, sending electricity through your entire body.

"to being young," said remus.

you nodded. "to being young."

clink, clink.

all you needed was him.

——————————————————————

later that day, remus took you out for dinner. you believed you've been in every single restaurant in l.a. but your boyfriend proved you wrong.

the moment you walked in, you felt almost everyone's eyes on you. anxiety rushed through your body. almost as if remus could feel it, he gave you a reassuring squeeze and the weight on your shoulders suddenly dropped.

he lead you to an empty table by the window and pulled out your chair. you sent him a smile before sitting down and he took a seat opposite to you.

that was when you made the mistake to look around, locking eyes with numerous people who weren't very excited to see you and remus together.

"ignore them, dove," remus spoke, reading the menu. "they're just jealous of how beautiful you look tonight."

you knew that wasn't the truth but you appreciated him trying enough not to say anything about it anymore. you nodded and picked up the menu and did your best to ignore the glares.

——————————————————————

@celebrityupdates

76,890 likes

@celebrityupdates well, who would've thought! actress y/n y/l/n and "the marauders" bassist remus lupin were spotted together yesterday on a date and then left together hand in hand.

12,656 comments

@user6346873 wasn't she literally dating sirius black like a week ago? bffr girl 💀

-> @siriusblack no, you bffr, she wasn't.

@remuslupinsgf NOO REMUS WHY. she'll cheat on you like she did on everyone else.

               -> @user2578584 name one person she cheated and give me a proof

                   -> @remuslupinsgf whatever. her movies suck anyway

@user742795853 slut.

okay, maybe reading the comments of this post wasn't the best idea, you thought to yourself as if it wasn't completely obvious.

it was the morning after your date with remus and you couldn't understand how these pictures were up already. doesn't the media have better things to do instead of not respecting your privacy and talking about whos hand you're holding?

what also made you angry was that none of the comments seemed to be mentioming the fact that remus recently broke up with someone. you, on the other hand, hadn't been in a relationship for six months.

not that you wanted everyone to attack your boyfriend but you'll be the one to pay the price for the things you two have been doing together. it wasn't fair.

"what got you upset like that?" you jumped at the sound of remus's deep voice from his spot beside you. you glanced at him, your eyes softening at how beautiful he looked lying in your bed with his hair all messy.

"nothing," you mumbled, turned off your phone and placed it at your bedside table. you sighed and got up from the warmth of your covers (and remus's body) before saying, "i'm gonna go grocery shopping. there's absolutely nothing in here. you want something?"

"i'll go with you." 

"i'd rather go alone. i'll be right back." 

and then you left him there, in your bedroom with confusion written all over his pretty features.

——————————————————————

there was no point in keeping your relationship a secret. everyone knew. the picture of your and remus's faces were plastered on the front page of every magazine in north america and united kingdom (remus's friend james said so). still, you tried your best to spend as little time as possible with your boyfriend in public.

unfortunately, as soon as you left the gates of your property to meet remus, you were blinded by the harsh flashes of the cameras. it took your brain a second to register what was going on. remus was waiting there. his two bodyguards were trying to keep the paparazzi away from the two of you.

"y/n!"

"y/n! over here!"

"y/n, what's your message to the haters?"

"y/n, did you hear—"

"i'm sorry," remus spoke loudly so you could hear him well through the voices of the yelling men. "they followed me all the way from hollywood boulevard to here," he reached for your hand and interlinked his fingers with yours. "we couldn't shake them off."

before you could even open your mouth to reply, you were interrupted.

"remus! there's a rumour y/n has been hooking up with sirius black. what do you have to say to that? is it true?"

he completely ignored the question. he knew it wasn't true. you knew he knew.

remus got the door of the car for you and waited for you to get in before shutting it close. when he took a seat next to you and kissed you a "hello" before saying, "you look beautiful tonight", it was easy to forget all about the reality.

——————————————————————

you both were invited to the met gala which took place the very next week. the theme this year was victorian england so you were wearing a pink-white dress with poofy skirt, holding an umbrella of the same colors in your right hand and remus's hand in your left. your eyes were practically glued to him. he looked so handsome in his white shirt, which he had a vest suit over, and dark grey pants. everyone seemed to think so.

while posing for photos on the stairs, remus suddenly turned into you. his face was, out of the blue, too close to yours. you could see it in his eyes, feeling like you could read his mind.

"it's a big mistake," you said, though your smile said otherwise. "it might blow up in your pretty face."

the voice in your head was screaming at him.

do it anyway!

and he's going to.

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

Could I request 16 for George Weasley? A angst/smut post-war one please??

ofc! i got too into the post war and making it too sad that I couldn't seem to fit the smut without it turning weird and just out of nowhere so i am sorry. but if you request something else with smut I'll definitely do it for you!

Christmas prompt 16- “I didn’t have anyone else to spend Christmas with. Hope you don’t mind if I spend it with you.”

COMPANY

pairings: George Weasley x Fem! Summary: George finds that his only comfort during Christmas is with you Warnings: none

George was tired.

he had gone so long in that house full of people who didn't seem to understand his pain, he had gone so long of his family pretending everything was fine, like Fred wasn't gone, like there wasn't an empty seat next to him during dinner

he felt so alone, so sick of everyone asking if he was ok, and even if it had been 8 months, nothing George could do was enough to shake the feeling of his twin being taken away rom him

and as Christmas approached, he found him regretting things, how he left things with people that had any connection to Fred.

mostly, his relationship with you.

you and George, a complicated situation that George always wondered about

it was difficult to figure out what you two were, and to anybody outside of your circle it would have been seen as a relationship, but you weren't

you were never his and he was never yours, but the late nights cuddling in his dorm, the words said in the astronomy were a whole different story

you were best friends, even if Fred would tease him

he would have sked you out- he was going to tell you he loved you the day of the war, but Remus had dragged you away before he could pack up the courage

one of the last things Fred had told George before getting split up was that he should have told you years ago, that the night of Yule ball should had woken him up to how you felt for each other, but instead ended in tears due to an unreciprocated kiss.

it wasn't like he didn't like it, you had just caught him off guard, and by the time he realised your lips were finally on his after years on pining, you pulled away, apologising as you ran away

that was one of his biggest regrets in life.

the next time George saw you after the war was at Fred's funeral. he had been too sad to go up and take to you, despite your effort the only word said between you was a measly sorry before he walked away, taking a piece of your heart with him.

George could have sworn he heard Fred's voice in his head, telling him to talk to you, to tell you how he felt. but he brushed it off

it was too painful to face you, too hard to look at you when Fred had gone so many years telling him that he needed to pack up the courage. and even if Fred was in his head telling him things, it was never the right time.

and as more time went on, the less and less you saw George

he had given up, he couldn't do anything but sulk around in his apartment above him closed shop for months, doing everything in his power to avoid contact with everything of Freds in his home he now lived alone in.

so, George at on his couch, reading a book, the fireplace on with a blanket thrown over his legs as he rested his feet on the coffee table.

he should be at the burrow, where all his family are right now, probably having dinner as festive songs played, the Christmas eve air coming in through a slightly cracked window of the kitchen as they all get ready to go to bed.

George felt like he couldn't move as he stared at the page, his vision blurry as he heard children's laughs outside, oblivious to the destruction the war had caused to their word,

George often wondered what he would be doing if Fred was still here, but he always stops himself from thinking like that, getting frustrated because he knew he was gone, and nothing could bring him back

he just hated the fact the rest of his family seemed to move on so quickly, he despised the fact that some chose to carry on with life as if George's wasn't just destroyed

he snapped out of him and sighed shutting the book, looking up at the photo on the mantle.

a picture of Fred and him, laughing as you stood in the middle, an unamused look on your face to something George chose not to remember

Fred had loved that photo, hanging it up there when they first got this place

❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎

you yawned as you opened the door of your little cottage right outside Hogsmeade

you frowned and then raised your eyebrows as you took in the man you haven't seen in months as he stood in front of you awkwardly.

"sorry for showing up unannounced" he focuses his gaze away at his feet

you stayed silent for a while as you looked at him.

as if he could sense your confusion as to why he is here he looked up, running a hand through his hair

“I didn’t have anyone else to spend Christmas with. Hope you don’t mind if I spend it with you.” he spoke hopefully, his eyes full of something you could figure out

you stepped out of the doorway and let him in, still a little confused

"is your family away?" you asked as he slowly walked in your home, looking somewhat guilty

he shook his head as he played with his fingers nervously

you knew that had to be a reason for him coming here asking to spend Christmas with you, so you had fought the urge not to ask, just in case it might tick something off

"would you like some hot coco? I was in the middle of brewing some" you blinked

he mumbled a simple yes please as you guided him to your living room. he had sat down and shifted multiple times trying to get comfortable in an odd situation he put himself it, he wondered it he should leave, he rethought coming here as you smiled tightly at him, leaving so many words unsaid

"I can leave if you want me t-" he mumbled before you cut him off

"it's ok" you looked away before going to the next room, watching in the corner of your eye as he looked around, drumming his hands on his knee as you walked to the kitchen, making more hot coco for him

you were still so confused as to why he showed up here, out of the blue, it had been so long since you saw him last that you thought you would never see him again, and for a while it seemed like that was for the best. but who are you kidding you've always had a soft spot for the man, however broken he may be from the war, but you were hurt too

you had tried so hard to be there for him, try to be a shoulder he could cry on, but no matter the efforts he had shut you out.

but you could never stay mad at him, it wasn't his fault.

you walked out of the kitchen with two mugs in your hands and sat beside him, passing him a cup of hot chocolate with melting marshmallows

he took notice to the knitting beside you on the couch, laying there, seeming to be left half finished, he wondered if he had interrupted you while knitting.

that was something he always loved about you, the fact that you did everyday things the muggle way when it was easier to do it with a quick flick of your wand. he loved every part of you, even if he's messed everything up

the room was silent for a while, no one daring to speak as you sipped on your hot coco

"so..it's been a while, huh?" he chuckles dryly, placing his mug on the coffee table

"I've missed you" you said shortly, looking away to the candle burning slowly on the mantle

"I've missed you too.." he whispered, looking at you as you looked ahead, admiring the way you look

your eyes still had the same mischievous smile, but held a certain tiredness that couldn't have just been from the time of night he had held you up to.

"I'm sorry I've pushed you away" he started with a sigh

you looked over at him with a frown

he had nothing to be sorry for, yet here he was, on Christmas eve when he should be with his family, wanting to be with you, for the first time in months.

"You don't deserve it, you were trying to be there for me...and I've pushed you away. I want you to be there for me- I do...but I don't. I can look after myself, but I want you with me. I guess.. no one understands what I'm going through...everybody moved on and I'm so angry... I just don't want you around me when I'm like this but this isn't how it's supposed to be" he rambled, his voice wobbling as he spoke

you're trying to process what he means before he takes your hand in his, making you flinch at the coldness of his skin, as rough as his fingertips, they've never been softer, they've never been more gentle.

it reminds you of all the times you'd hold his hands during school, whether it was running from filch, sneaking out or just strolling around, joking about something or another.

"you were supposed to be with me... supposed to be mine, Fred always told me that and I was going to- I should have- and I'm sorry but... I've always felt comfort with you, love. and I just want you.. I miss you" he finished

it's been way to long since he's used that nickname on you.. almost 9 months, the night of the war before you got dragged away

"George..."

you gave his hand a squeeze before resting your head on his shoulder

"I love you... I should have said it years ago...there are so many times I could name where I should have handled things differently and I'm sick of the what ifs because one minute someone is there and the next they aren't and you don't know when the last time you can tell someone you love then. And for this case...the first.. and I'm not risking it..." he shook his hand, pulling you closer to him, his hands slightly shaking as he held you.

"it's ok, George... it's not your fault..." you wiped a tear that had falling down his cheek and kissed his head

he shook his head "no.. no it is.. you could have been here..with me.. I just didn't tell you..let you"

"I knew all you needed was time... and I gave it to you, because I love you."

George frowns as he looks down at you, a sad smile making it's way to his quivering lips

"you do?" he questioned

"I always have, George" you said softly, playing with the nails of your fingers

it's not like you haven't said it before, but it's definitely the first time you've said it with the weight on your shoulders, the meaning seeping off your tongue, coming out so sweet, tasting so good on your lips as you reflected on your relationship with the man currently having a crisis in front of you

"I'm not the same man, love" he closed his eyes, his leg twitching away from yours as he clenches his jaw

"I've known you through every phase, George, I think I can still love you now" you hum

"so I can spend Christmas with you?" he looked at you hopefully

"I guess I could use the company" you shrugged before smiling softly "I want what you want, George, if you don't want to spend it with your family, I'm not going to force you"

"you've always been too good to me...patient..." he furrows his eyebrows. trying to figure out why

why him? he's asked that question a million times this year. but this time he didn't care about any insecurity that held him back

he leaned forward and cupped your cheek, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

"you're the only company I want"

❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎

[ellecdc]

just had an idea for a fic/drabble!

poly!wolfstar where reader is self-conscious/insecure about like her stomach being a bit chubby (or something like that) and wolfstar catch her looking at herself in the mirror, and Sirius is all like touchy and hugging and Remus is all like telling reader about how he is insecure about his scars?

idk the idea just popped into my head lol

thank you mother :)

- 🌙

thanks for the prompt, lovie <3

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who was feeling insecure about her appearance today

CW: poor body image on readers part, discussion of body issues/insecurities, mostly fluff I think

You took a heaving breath as if the simple action of slipping off your jeans and unclasping your bra had actually given air better access to your lungs.

It had been one of Those Days™; a day where every article of clothing felt too tight on your body, your brain felt too critical of your appearance, innocent comments felt too pointed, and your body felt too heavy for your legs to carry.

You spent the day in a state of masochistic self-sabotage by slowing your pace in order to stare at your reflection in passing windows and cars, looking at the disappointing view in the glass doors of the frozen section in the grocery store feeling terribly sorry for everyone else who had to look at you too.

And you were still doing it; even now after shedding your unflattering and restrictive clothing in place of one of Remus’ large jumpers, you stood in front of the mirror and scrutinised your form, hand pulling the fabric tight over your middle exposing the outline of your stomach alerting you to the fact that you were, indeed, no longer a sprightly little teenager.

“Admiring the view, dovey?” Remus asked as he leaned against the dresser to your left; you only tuned in at his petname for you, however, meaning you didn’t realise he had a) asked you something, or b) knew more than he was letting on. 

“You’ve got great taste, dollface.” Sirius added as he came up behind you and hooked his chin on your shoulder; eyes roaming your body that seemed equal parts hungry and adoring. “It’s one of my favourite sights too.”

You looked up to meet his gaze in your reflection to correct him, only to realise he knew what he was doing - or better yet, he knew what you were doing - looking at you with one eyebrow arched as if daring you to contradict him. 

“What’s that head of yours telling you now?” Remus asked as he positioned himself beside the mirror and admired you and Sirius. 

You sighed as you returned your gaze back to yourself, simultaneously annoyed that you couldn’t seem to hide anything from your boyfriends and grateful for the fact that you didn’t seem to have to.

“I’ve not felt very pretty today.” You offered slowly, not daring to look at either of them for their reactions.

Remus hummed in acknowledgement and Sirius tightened his hold on you. “I’m sorry you’ve not felt that way.” Sirius offered cautiously and just as slowly after a beat of silence. “But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t - pretty, that is; you know that, right?”

You made a sound of disagreement causing Sirius to hum sympathetically. 

“You’re hardest on yourself, dovey; I think when you spend so much time looking at yourself, you stop seeing the appeal.” Remus tried, causing you to chuckle slightly.

“I look at you boys all the time and I never stop seeing the appeal.” You admitted shyly, causing Sirius to chuckle as he swayed your bodies back and forth.

“I could look at the two of you all day.” Sirius offered salaciously; trailing a hungry gaze over the length of Remus’ body as the two of you delighted in the fierce blush it elicited from your boyfriend. 

“I could too.” Remus said somewhat chidingly; his gaze softening as it moved back towards you. “That’s my point; I’m not always pleased with the reflection I see when I stand in front of a mirror - but I very much enjoy looking at the two of you.”

“But…you’re so handsome.” You offered bemusedly, truly not understanding how someone who looked like Remus sodding Lupin could feel anything but gorgeous.

“So you’ve said.” Remus replied with a smirk.

“And we’ve told you how gorgeous you are, so why argue with us? Don’t you think we know what we’re talking about? Two of the hottest blokes snagged the hottest girl around, why are we even talking about this?” Sirius joked, earning him a warning pinch in the side by Remus for his cheek. “What!? It’s true!” 

“While I agree it does seem absurd to try to convince such a beautiful girl how truly beautiful she is, Pads, not all of us walk around with an ego the size of Buckingham Palace.” 

“Play nice you two.” You chided; placing your hand atop of Sirius’ where it lay lovingly on a part of your body you wished he’d not pay any mind to, though he seemed to feel nothing but love for it. 

“You’re the one being mean to our sweet girl, dollface. You play nice.” Sirius replied, punctuating his sentence with a kiss to your neck. 

“I’ll try.” You agreed, smiling at Sirius in the mirror before flitting your eyes slightly to the left to see your other gorgeous boyfriend watching the two of you with the warmest and softest gaze you’ve ever seen.

You may not always see yourself as beautiful, but dammit when you had your two boys looking at you with that much love and affection, you couldn’t help feeling at least a little beautiful.

[valentinetypewriter]

Y/n and Remus were used to Sirius bringing home strays, his heart was too big to leave them, but what do they do when their beloved husband brings home a stray they can't take to an animal shelter.

Warning: referenced/implied child abuse

Main masterlist // marauders era masterlist

Word count: 1,079

It was a cold winter night, I was sitting on the couch wrapped up in a thick blanket as I waited for Sirius to come home, Remus on the other hand was fast asleep upstairs. Though Sirius didn't say much about where he was going, he just said it was important. It wasn't until 10pm that I heard jingling keys from the door. I looked over at Sirius as he walked into the living room, he was staring at the floor with a sad look on his face "are you alright dear?" I asked him softly "please don't get mad, I just couldn't leave him there". I was quick to think that he had brought home another stray animal as I heard movement by the doorway. I stood up with a sigh, making my way over to the door "I swear Sirius if it's another dog you'll be sleeping on the-" I stopped instantly as I saw what was in front of me, it was in fact not a dog or an animal for that matter.

It was Sirius's little brother, his head hung low and his arms were wrapped around himself. I heard Sirius come up behind me "why didn't you tell me you were bringing him back here" I looked behind me at my husband "I'm sorry Y/n I was too worried about him". I shook my head, looking back over at the small boy "oh Regulus sweetie are you hungry?" The said boy finally looked up at me, his face made my heart break. He had a dried cut on his swollen lower lip and he was littered with small bruises and scrapes. He hesitated for a few seconds before responding "if it's not too much… trouble to ask" his voice was quiet and cracked slightly "of course not, why don't you two take a seat on the couch" I lightly placed my hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft smile. He muttered a small thank you before following Sirius into the living room. I fixed up the two boys the leftovers from the dinner Remus and I had made earlier, it was a simple Carbonara dish. I made my way back into the living room holding the tray, after setting down the bowls and two drinks I gave Sirius a quick kiss on the head "I'll go wake Remus" he smiled up at me "thank you for this love" I smiled back at him before making my way upstairs.

I quietly opened the door of our bedroom, quickly shutting it behind me. The only light in the room had been the small lamp on the bedside table Remus had left on after falling asleep while reading. I walked over to the bed sitting on the edge, I moved the book off of Remus before gently shaking him. He let out a soft groan, opening his eyes to look at me "Is everything alright?" he asked with a slight tone of concern "it's just… Sirius brought his brother here, the boy looked pretty roughed up" Remus sat up leaning into me "are they both alright?" His voice seemed quieter when he asked "I'm not sure, but they're both downstairs eating, thought I'd come let you know" I said as I combed my hair through his messy hair. "I'll be down in a bit" he gave me a soft kiss on the lips and got out of the bed, making his way over to the walk in closet. I left him to get dressed and made my way back downstairs to see Regulus cuddled up to Sirius, his head resting on his brother's shoulder as Sirius wrapped his arm around his shoulder. I sat down on the other side of Regulus putting my hand on his knee "are you alright Reg?" I rubbed my thumb lightly on his knee. He looked over at me with sad wet eyes "I'll be okay, i'm quite used to this sort of thing, though thank you for this Y/n… it means a lot to me" he practically threw himself at me wrapping his arms around my waist as his head landed into my shoulder quietly sobbing as I ran my hands through his unusually messy hair. "Hey you don't need to thank me, I'm more than happy to help you Regulus" I looked over at Sirius, he looked miserable at the state of his brother, but held a small smile on his face at the fact his brother trusted his Wife so much to be vulnerable around her.

Remus had finally come down, taking the seat next to Sirius as the said boy leaned against him, seeking warmth from his insanely warm husband. "If you want Reg you're more than welcome to stay here" the boy quickly pulled away from me looking shocked "are you serious, you'd actually let me stay here" the young boy sounded unsure and scared. Remus spoke up for me "we wouldn't mind at all Regulus, we have more than enough room, you can take the granny flat James and Lily used to stay in if you'd like" Regulus looked between the three of us looking like he was going to burst into tears again. He started quickly nodding his head "I'd like that a lot" tears started to stream down his face again and he lent back towards me. "How about we put on a movie for us to watch, how does that sound Little Star" Sirius asked, rubbing the back of his brother's head. Regulus nodded his head, slowly pulling back from my shoulder again "do you guys have Rocky Horror" I felt slightly shocked at his choice and so did Remus, I looked over at him to see his wide eyes staring back at me. "Of course we have that, what do you take me for brother" the two let out small laughs.

We all had blankets wrapped around us to fight off the cold while we watched the movie. Remus was the first to fall asleep, his head falling onto Sirius, he was quickly followed by Regulus, who had also fallen asleep on Sirius. "Thanks for this love" Sirius spoke quietly, trying to not wake up either of the sleeping boys "of course, I'd do anything for you and Remus" we both smiled at each other before falling asleep towards the end of the movie. Sure we'd all be super stiff in the morning but right now it was definitely worth it.

[theemporium]

Hello! I hope you're doing amazing!

I've been thinking about Remus x Reader smut, Academic rivals, who are assigned a Order mission by Dumbly and they have to stay in a hotel for the night due to some changes in plan. And you guessed it right with the one bed trope.

I can't get it out of my head!! Could you maybe write a fic about it? Pretty please? Thankyou so much! Have a beautiful day ahead!

thank you for requesting!🖤i hope you have a lovely day!

.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

It had been bad enough that you had been stuck in a mission due to some last minute intel you had received overnight. 

It had been bad enough that most of the mission had gone to shit after a mistake from said intel that left you stranded in a some dodgy town you had never stepped into before tonight. 

It had been bad enough that throughout all this you had been stuck with Remus Lupin, the boy you had spent the last seven years arguing and bickering and fighting with since the day you first met. 

But the fact you had stumbled into the small motel, tired and drenched from the rain and in desperate need to just lay down, only to find one bed was the final straw that had you cursing whatever sick joker in the universe that had planned this night for you.

“Of–fucking–course,” you grumbled as you walked further into the room, glaring at the bed that was smaller than a double. 

“Are you already complaining again?” Remus commented, having followed you into the room, the door clicking shut behind him. 

“Shut up, Lupin,” you murmured bluntly, peeling away the layers of soaked clothing and unceremoniously dumping them onto the armchair in the corner of the room in hopes of them drying out enough before the morning. 

“Just go take a shower and stop whining,” he huffed out and gestured to the small attached bathroom.

And you were too tired to even argue with him.

Neither one of you spoke to the other as you sorted yourselves out. Remus contacted the Order and informed them of your situation, and as expected, they wanted you to pull out and return to Grimmauld Place in the morning. 

Meanwhile, you had managed to warm up a little in the shower before making your way back out into the room, wrapped in only a towel and barely glancing at the wizard before you grabbed your change of clothes as he disappeared into the shower himself. 

By the time he got out, a wall of pillows had already been set on the bed with a single look from you that warned the boy to stay on his side, not that he argued much on that matter. However, it was hard to fall asleep when he could feel your shivers vibrating that bed.

“Merlin, put a hoodie on or something,” Remus murmured sleepily as he glanced over his shoulder, peeking over the pillow wall to see you clutching the duvet close to you.

“I am,” you snapped back.

“And you’re still cold?” Remus asked, his brows furrowing a little in concern.

“No, I’m warm and fucking toasty,” you deadpanned.

However, Remus didn’t respond with a snarky comment like you expected. He instead started throwing the pillows off the bed, ignoring your weak attempts at batting his hands away before he could reach over to your side and pull your body close to him.

“What are you—oh,” you let out a small groan of appreciation when the warmth of his body was pressed against your own, settling something inside you. You eagerly wrapped yourself around him, nuzzling yourself further into his chest. 

“Fucking hell, you’re freezing,” he murmured as his hands rubbed up and down your back, the gesture slow and calming. 

“Thank you,” you spat out, even if it killed you a little to say.

Instead of being smug about it, Remus simply nodded in response. “Are you warm enough?” 

“I’ll be fine for the night,” you assured him.

“That’s not what I asked,” he pointed out. “Are you warm enough?”

“I’m still a little cold,” you admitted in a slightly sheepish tone.

“Do you want me to help?”

Something about his voice made you lift your head up from his chest, finding that the boy was already staring down at you. His eyes were dark and, for a second, you thought it was just because of the lack of light. But then his arms squeezed around you, his thigh slotting between your legs and his gaze dropping to your lips and suddenly you were wondering if your body could heat up that quickly.

“What do you have in mind, Lupin?” you asked, your voice a little breathy as his hands dipped under the fabric of your hoodie, his hands sliding over your bare skin.

Remus gulped a little. “Do you trust me?” 

“No.”

“Good.” 

Before you went on a mission, your mind raced through a million different outcomes on what you could possibly expect, just to prepare yourself so you were never caught off guard. 

Not a single one of those could have prepared you for Remus to kiss you until your lungs burned for air. Not a single one could prepare you for the dirty little phrases that slipped past his lips as his hands squeezed and caressed every inch of your body. Not a single one could have prepared you for the fact you’d be lying underneath Remus Lupin as he fucked you hard until the bed frame was banging against the wall.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whined out, your nails ranking down his back as his hips thrusted in and out of you, at a pace you didn’t even think was possible. 

“That’s it, pretty girl, let it all out,” Remus groaned, his face pressed into the crook of your neck as your walls clamped around him. “Doing so good f’me, taking it all like such a good girl.” 

“Please,” you moaned, your legs winding around his waist to keep him close. “I–”

“Shhh, come for me,” Remus grunted, your breathy moans and pathetic whimpers sounding like a fucking symphony to his ears. “That’s it, just like that. Fuck, so pretty for me.” 

You felt him press encouraging kisses along your neck as you finally came for the third time that night, your shaking body held close to him as he came inside you, not letting you go as the warmth settled inside you and you finally fell asleep.

And not a single one could have prepared you to wake up the next morning, your body still tangled with Remus’, to find Sirius standing at the bottom of the bed with a shit-eating grin. 

“Sleep well last night?” 

“Shut up,” you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at the boy. “I was cold. We were just cuddling,” you said to him, though the sheet wasn’t enough to cover the fact neither you nor Remus was wearing clothes.

Sirius raised his brows. “And you both conveniently forgot about heating charms?”

Your face burned as you chucked a pillow towards his head, only for him to rush out the motel room, cackling.

“You have ten minutes to get ready before we have to be back for a debrief!”

.

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

✩₊˚.⋆⁺₊✧ Merry Christmas everyone ✩₊˚.⋆⁺₊✧

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reade rWord Count: 7 K Warnings: None. Prompt: Where does your hear lay? Who does it belong to? This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Chapter 26: Hooked on a feeling

Thursday, November 25th, 1976

As you walked back to the common room with your friends, Sirius didn’t let go of your hand at all. Remus, who had been the one with the idea, stood rather close to the two of you, and the rest also kept a close eye on you. Especially Peter who seemed to have been altered by the whole situation. 

By the time you’d got to the common room you were a lot more relaxed, there was something about walking with your friends that just made you feel instantly better, even if you weren’t saying much. You easily realised how fast Remus had driven the subject of the conversation to something else, being backed up by Sirius who didn’t shut up about the new songs he’d gotten from his cousin Andromeda, it all had helped you order your thoughts better. 

Yes, you hadn’t been paying attention to the strength of your spell, and yes, it had been quite strong, enough to push Evan back a couple of metres but not enough to really hurt him, it had probably stung like a bitch, but looking at things from a different perspective, he might have been more pissed because he lost, and because you had helped turn off the fire with your relashio, than he had been hurt by your spell. In fact, even if Seraphina had practically dragged him out of the classroom, he had been walking when he left. 

And then you remembered the way he had laughed at your attempts to open the door of the shack and you almost thought he actually deserved it, even if your intention had never been to actually hurt him. And then you remembered Barty, and you knew he’d be absolutely pissed at you which had you shiver and inch just a little closer to Sirius. 

He gave you a rather puzzled look, wondering what could have been going on in your mind before squeezing your hand comfortingly. 

Eventually, you all ended up in the common room, Remus pulled out the food from his backpack and handed it over to you. They had picked sandwiches, sausages, bacon and a lot of other tasty, meaty treats. You almost laughed, they had noticed that you had been craving meat, and they had gone and picked probably every single thing with it on the meal. 

When the girls had gone off to the library together, James, who had been sitting on the rug as he snuck some of the treats from your plate when he thought you weren’t looking, leaned in to ask “How did it go with Ricchie?” 

You looked around for a second, making sure there was no one listening in, and responded “he’s on board, he said it’d be hard to convince the headless hunt.” 

James smiled “knew you could convince him,” he said as he pulled back “You’re damn good at that.” 

“I guess I am,” you smiled. quite pleased with yourself, “Does that mean I’m playing on Sunday?”  

James laughed as he shook his head in disbelief “Don’t push your luck Vixi, you might be charming, but it depends on how you know what is looking by then.” 

You huffed in response, and let yourself lean back in between Sirius and Remus as you took another sausage and started to munch on it “When will you go get the recipes?” You asked, turning to Remus.

“After dinner,” he said, “you think your talk with Nightshade will be done by then?” 

You took a deep breath “I certainly hope it will… Oh, by the way, I found the perfect place to brew the potion…” 

“Really, where?” Sirius asked casually. 

“There’s a secret room near the Prefect Bathrooms, Richie showed me,” you started “It’s very small, kinda like a map room, with lots of forbidden books hidden in there, I assume Richie was as much of a trouble maker as you lot when he was alive…” 

“Kinda like a map room?” he asked again, you had piqued his curiosity. 

“You lot?! As if you weren’t included…” mumbled James. 

You threw him a wink and turned back to Sirius “Well, it’s got a massive table in the centre, perfect for maps or large parchments and things like that,” you explained, “but I also saw a few potion things on the corner, I mean of course there’s no sink or anything like that, but I’m sure we can make do with what we have, it’s perfect! Completely away from prying eyes too. And you know people barely even cross that hallway anyway…” 

“Well I guess you’ll show me your secret room and I’ll show you our secret map,” Remus said with a shrug. 

“We’re showing her the map?” Peter asked. 

James nodded “Indeed we are little Wormtail, it was an executive decision since she’s now an Honourable Marauder.” 

“Wait! Really?” you asked, with a small gasp. 

Sirius nodded, wrapping his arm over your shoulder, leaving his hand near your neck so as not to touch your wounded arm and smiled at you “You didn’t know?” he tsked. 

You shook your head, “but it’s only natural, isn’t it? You know my secret now,” Remus said calmly.

“Lily does too,” you replied “And she’s not a-“

“And then there’s Vixen,” Peter said matter of factly, cutting you off mid-sentence. 

“Aaaaand you’re going to do your first official Marauders Prank tomorrow,” Sirius finished. 

“But… this- this feels like… It’s like being knighted or something…” 

That got a chuckle from every single one of the boys, James stood up then, taking his wand in his hand, you looked at him puzzled when he extended his arm with his hand and placed it over your shoulder “Lady Vixen…” he started. 

“What? Prongs you’re insane!”  

“Shut up,” he said simply, and cleared his throat “Lady Vixen,” he repeated the same actions as before “I hereby declare you an honourable member of The Marauders,” he finished. 

“As an official member, I ratify the decree,” Remus added. 

“I ratify it a second time,” Peter added. 

Sirius looked at you with a teasing smile “I don’t know about that…” he started but laughed mid-sentence when he saw the stares from all of his friends “All right… All right… I ratify the decree a third time, Kit’s one of us now.” 

James smiled “Settled then, you can now know about the map.” 

“Which map?” You asked, curiosity taking the best of you. 

“Not yet,” Remus said “She’ll see it in due time.” 

“Oh! You’re such a tease!” you said, leaning back in between Remus and Sirius again, crossing your arms over each other with a small pout, which just got Remus to chuckle, you looked way too adorable. 

Then the clock chimed in “Dinner time,” Peter said with a smile. 

James stood up “Sounds brilliant, I’m famished.” 

“You’ve been eating my food since we got here,” you teased. He looked at you in shock, as if he was surprised he hadn’t been as sneaky as he thought he had been. The rest of the boys just laughed. 

“No, I haven’t.” James said casually “must have imagined it.” 

You just laughed at the seriousness he used to say it “So you’re saying I hallucinated it?” 

James nodded “Indeed you have, perhaps we really should take you to Pomfrey.” 

“All right Prongs, whatever you say,” you responded. 

You separated from the boys when Marlene waved at you to sit right next to her, she wanted to ask you about learning to use confringo, and you spent the rest of the dinner discussing some advanced duelling spells with her, Beth, Lily and Mary had joined in the conversation a little later on and you discovered you all knew some spells the others didn’t. 

“We should study them together,” Beth said “Find a quiet place and practice so we become better duelists.” Beth had joined the duelling club a couple of weeks before you had. 

“I’d tag along with you girls,” Mary quipped “It’s always useful to know a thing or two about defending yourself, could help me brush up on my curses and hexes for next year’s N.E.W.T.S.” 

“It’s a fantastic idea indeed,” Lily said “I say we do it.” 

“Really?” You asked her a little surprised. 

“Yeah, we could make our own little duelling club,” she said “Seems useful for the times we’re living in.” 

Mary’s face turned a little sour. “I’d rather not talk about the times we’re living in.” 

You were about to say something else when you felt a hand on your shoulder, you looked up and swallowed, it was Professor Nightshade, “Have you finished your meal?” she asked politely. You nodded in response. “Good, please follow me to my office.” 

Lily gave you a worried look but you gave her a smile in return, whatever punishment she was going to give you, it couldn’t be too bad. “I’ll just take something for the way,” you told her, stood up and walked towards the boys, leaning in to grab an apple from the bowl right next to Remus “Where are we regrouping?" you whispered. 

"Give me your hand," he said. 

You turned to look at Nightshade, she was tapping her feet as she stood near the girls and looked, you swallowed, but instantly did as asked. Remus took your hand and placed a small, crescent moon bead that he took from his pocket, allowing his fingers to linger on your palm for a little too long before he spoke again.

"Keep it with you, we’ll find you."

You frowned, giving him a puzzled look, but turned back at Nightshade who looked like she was losing her temper and you nodded, Remus heard you say something like "Sorry Professor, I was looking for the right one," as you approached her with what he assumed was another one of those charming apologetic smiles of yours. 

"You gave her your charm," Sirius said as he saw you go. 

"So we can find her after the library," Remus responded, turning back to the other boy, "you ready?" 

Sirius smirked "I’m always ready, Moons. But we need to get the cloak first."

"And the map," the other boy added. “Prongs and Wormtail will be working on the escape plan all night, you’ll join them and practise the spells afterwards, right?"

Sirius nodded in return, “You’ll stay with Vixen and prepare the potion,” he then hesitated for a second “Ask her if she’s all right for me?” Remus gave Sirius a frown, and the blue-eyed boy took a deep breath, “She’s always at ease when you’re around, and for some reason, I feel like she would tell you if–” 

Remus shook his head “–She wouldn’t.” 

“No, but I’m sure, you even told me about that time after practice that-“ 

“–Pads.” Remus said calmly “She’s not going to tell me shit, not this time.” 

“But–“ 

“-It’s because it was me,” the taller boy explained. “She won’t say shit because I was the one to scratch her, I’m the reason she’s hurt.” 

“That’s not fair,” Sirius countered, “You didn’t mean to, she knows it.” 

“And that’s exactly why she wouldn’t tell me if she was off,” Remus sighed “She doesn’t want me to feel bad about it, and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable by making her lie.” Yeah, Remus knew what it was like to lie to his friends about the way he was feeling, he knew what it was like to feel the need to do it as if not to worry them, he didn’t want you to go through that, especially since he had been the one to hurt you in the first place.

Sirius sighed, leaning against the table, holding his head up with his hands, his beautiful curls cascading around his face and spilling between his fingers. Remus stared, almost enthralled by the beauty of his friend before speaking again. 

“She knew, you know?” he said suddenly. 

“She knew what?” Sirius asked, pulling his head up to look at Remus straight in the eyes. 

“She knew I was a werewolf,” the boy admitted. “When she arrived at the Shack and cranked the door open, she was relieved to see me for a whole of like 60 seconds before she realised how screwed she was.” 

“But how?!” the blue-eyed boy asked, confused.

“At first I thought it had been you–“ Remus admitted.

“I would never!” 

“I know,” Remus agreed “But you can’t blame me for thinking it a possibility, especially with how close you are to each other.” 

“But you should know I would never, especially after the-“ 

“–I know.” Remus cut him off, a little sharper now, he did not want to talk about the prank. 

“Then how did she find out?” 

“She guessed it,” Remus said with a tight lip smile, surprise and unbelievability spilling from his voice. Had Sirius not been paying attention to how attractive his friend looked with that smile on his face perhaps he would have realised the way Remus had said it sounded an awful lot like someone who had a crush “She said it was in the infirmary, last full moon.” 

Sirius almost winced “After the ring incident…”

“I highly doubt it was just the ring incident,” Remus reassured, “Anyway, my point is… she knew, and she didn’t tell anyone about it. She didn’t ask me, she didn’t ask you. All because she didn’t want to put us in an awkward position.” 

Sirius sighed, slumping his shoulders as he did “She’s a considerate idiot.” 

Remus laughed and nodded. After a couple of seconds of silence, he tilted his head just a little, effectively getting Sirius’ attention back on him. As much as he hated to admit it, he loved it when Sirius looked at him like that. “Let’s get the cloak then…” he said with a mischievous smile.  

“Let’s get the cloak,” Sirius responded with an equally mischievous grin. 

You had been the one to enter her office first, Nightshade trailing behind just to shut the door as she entered the room and walked towards her chair. She must have been just as tall as you, regardless, she carried herself in a way that made you feel smaller, almost intimidated, perhaps it had to do with how beautiful she was. You remember feeling like the time you met Walburga a couple of years ago, Nightshade had the same imposing aura, except she carried a hint of peacefulness to her, rather than the unhinged chaos that hid behind Walburga’s eyes. 

You swallowed as she continued walking all the way to her desk, she didn’t walk behind it though, she instead leaned back on it, elegance unmatched, “Miss (Y/LN).”

You didn’t say a word, instead, you nodded in acknowledgement, letting her know you were listening even if your voice refused to come out. 

“You must know why I brought you here.” 

“Because I used a very strong, downright almost-illegal hex on Evan Rosier.” 

She laughed, a graceful laugh that you were not expecting to hear “That’s not why you’re here.” 

“I’m sorry?! I thought you would– I thought I was here because… if it’s not that, then why?” 

“Take a guess,” she said with a playful smile. You weren’t sure if you were intimidated by it or not. 

“Because of the classes I missed? I’m sorry about that, it was really something unexpected and I–“ 

“That’s not it either.” 

“Then I– I don’t understand–“ 

“How’s your shoulder?” She asked casually. 

“It’s a lot better,” you said before you turned to look at her in shock. “How did you…” 

“You’re not the only one that’s friends with the ghosts darling,” she said. “Come over, let me check it.” 

You did as told, unbuttoning your blouse for her to inspect your wound “Is that why I’m here?” you asked as she carefully unrolled the bandage. 

“Damocles Belby came to me on Tuesday, knocking on the door very early in the morning,” she started, “he said you had gone to the forbidden forest to get an ingredient for a potion, and that you hadn’t returned when you told him you would,” you winced as her hand graced over one of the injured sections “he told me what he wanted and why he wanted it for. I knew in an instant either Remus had told you about his condition or that you had guessed yourself.” 

“You know about–“ 

“Of course I do. I’m the teacher of Defence Against the Dark Arts. I was informed the moment I got here.” 

“And Dumbledore just told you?!” you scoffed, sounding a little more offended and angry than you intended. 

She chuckled in return, “We go way back,” she said with a small smile “Either way, when you didn’t get to class I started to worry,” she continued “But I went over to check on Remus on the infirmary and he was calm enough, I knew he hadn’t hurt you, or at least that he hadn’t hurt you lethaIIy.” 

“If you knew I was hurt, then why did you put me in a duel against Evan?” 

“I didn’t think either of you would go as hard as you did on each other,” she admitted “and I wanted to know if you really were hurt.” 

“Is that why you placed your hand over my shoulder and helped me up?” 

“You almost had me fooled,” she admitted “I would have bought your act had it not been for the reactions of your friends.” 

A small smile played on your lips, you were proud. 

“You’re a strong one Miss (Y/LN),” she said as she inspected the wound “Whoever did the healing, is incredible at it,” she said casually “I’ve never seen a werewolf infringed wound looking so good after such little time.” 

You didn’t say a word which just got another small smile from her. She liked that you wouldn’t speak, it showed your strength of character and stubbornness. 

“Fine then, do not tell me,” she added as she started wrapping the bandage again “You know it will scar, right?” 

“Yes…” you responded. 

“And you don’t care?” she pressed. 

You turned to her, holding her stare as you clenched your jaw, what kind of question is that?, you thought. “I don’t,” you said simply, “If it had been anyone else perhaps I–“You stopped yourself from talking, she did not need to hear your inner monologue. “Why am I here?” you asked as you pulled back and started buttoning your blouse back up.

“Because I wanted to know something…” 

“And that is?” 

“Tell me, do you believe in bIood purity?” 

“That’s a bunch of bullshit,” you said simply. 

She didn’t react, her face plain “Bold of you to say, when you come from a pure-bIood family.” 

“It’s because I come from one that I know it’s bullshit, I know wizards twice as good as me that are not purebloods.”

She hummed, “I don’t think many wizards can be twice as good as you.”  

“You can think whatever you like,” you spat, you had always liked Professor Nightshade, admired her even, but you didn’t like the way she was speaking right now, it made you wary. 

“I like your bite,” she informed. “You could be really useful, you know...”  

“For who?” 

She smiled at the way you had asked, so forward “I can teach you,” She said, “Personal classes, one-on-one, I can make you the best duelist to ever walk out of this school…” 

“And at what cost?” 

“You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” 

“I have places to be, things to do, friends to see, don’t you?” 

She laughed, diverted at how serious you were being “Dumbledore.” You blinked a couple of times after she spoke. “You’d be working for Dumbledore.”

You looked at her, pupils moving fast as you thought about what she said “You’re not recruiting me for my talent,” you said then “you want me for my name, for my father’s contacts.” 

“Nothing slips past you, does it?” she said with a smile “but I wouldn’t be talking to you if you weren’t talented.” 

You squared your shoulders but didn’t say a thing. 

“So… What do you say?” 

Remus and Sirius had gotten the cloak and were already halfway through the passageways that would lead them to the library. Once they were about to get into the hallway, Sirius pulled the cloak from his backpack and handed it over to Remus, who, since he was the taller of the two, was almost always the one to accommodate it. 

Back when they were smaller it was way easier to get inside the cloak, in fact, the four boys would do it often, and they had no issues fitting in and still being completely invisible. The last time they tried to do it, no matter how close they stood to each other, someone’s shoes ended up being visible. That’s why they resorted to going two at a time, knowing full well that three was their max. 

Remus took the cloak and unfolded it in a swift motion, wrapping it around Sirius and himself in a movement that he had done so many times before that it made him look as elegant as a professional muggle magician wrapping his beautiful assistant for a trick. 

Sirius looked up at him with a teasing smile as he finished adjusting the cloak, “Let’s go then.” 

The two boys walked outside of the hole in the wall and walked alongside each other with practice ease. Remus was awful close to Sirius under the cloak, it was one of the reasons he’d almost always volunteer to go when he did, even if he was feeling off, hanging out with the boy always made him feel better. Either because of the jokes he’d cracked or because of the sheer excitement of just being close to him. 

Sirius heard a sound and stopped abruptly, placing a hand over his mouth to silently indicate to him to keep quiet. Remus, who was not expecting the sudden movement, collided with him, his nose almost crashing into Sirius’ head. He got a whiff of his scent, the one of pine trees, musk and a tinge of leather that you loved so much and he had to shut his eyes close to try and regain his stance. Sirius had no clue the effect he had on people. Or perhaps he did know the effect he had on people, since he often used it to his advantage, he just didn’t know the effect he had on Remus. After a second, the boy nodded and the two continued walking, once they had successfully gotten into the restricted section of the library, Remus took the cloak off the two of them. 

Sirius leaned closer, placing his hand on Remus’ shoulder to prompt his friend to bend down, when Remus obliged, he tilted his head towards the boy, his long locks brushing against Remus’ shoulder and cheeks. And while Remus was used to this, Sirius was touchy, he’d always been, and he probably always would be, it didn’t stop the shiver that went down his spine when Sirius finally whispered in his ear “Let’s split, I’ll find the potions book, you find the charms one.”  

When Sirius finally pulled back, his hand still on Remus’ shoulder, the boy nodded “Keep the cloak,” he suggested “My disillusionment charm is better.” 

Sirius arched his eyebrows, diverted. “You should see Vixen’s, she was never spoiled with James’  invisibility cloak like you and I.” 

“Bet hers is even better,” Remus said and gave Sirius a wink before casting the spell and becoming almost imperceptible to Sirius. He blinked a few times, staring at nothing for a couple of seconds before he turned around to look for the book. But as he did, he couldn’t help but replay Remus’ wink and smile in his head, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen that expression on his friend’s face. Or perhaps he had seen it, he’d just never observed it properly. And it had certainly never lingered in his head like it had that day. 

But he shook those weird thoughts off and went straight to look for the book, using his wand to light the names of the tomes as he looked through the different potion books available. He skipped through Potionology: Crafting  Magic in a Bottle and Secrets of the Cauldron. There had to be something wrong with the way the books in the section were ordered since none of them followed the standard alphabetical order arrangements normal bookshelves had. 

He considered using Accio to get the book he was looking for, but it hadn’t worked last time, and most of the restricted section books had anti-summoning charms since they had to be kept away from most students’ hands. So he instead kept looking, making his lumus just a little more powerful so he could see a bit more of the books at the same time. 

Remus was on the far left corner of the room, looking through the charm books to try and find the right one when he heard a noise coming from the other side of the library. It had been faint, so faint that he wouldn’t have noticed it, had it not been because of his acute hearing. Sometimes being a monster came with its perks. 

He knew the sound was far away, so far that it wouldn’t be a problem for either of them if it didn’t get closer, so he kept his ears perked as he continued to look for the book. It didn’t take him much, since he knew exactly what he had been looking for. In fact, they had borrowed that same book a couple of times before, and it had a rather distinctive bright red cover, with shiny black details, it was almost impossible to miss. He took it out from its spot on the bookshelf, being careful not to make as much noise as he did, and then he placed it in his bag. 

But that’s when he heard it, the sound from earlier had been steps. Steps that were approaching them pretty damn fast. Remus looked around, trying to find Sirius, and the boy was still looking for the book with his wand brightly lit, completely unaware of the sounds that were so clearly drumming in Remus’ ears. “Fuck,” he whispered as he started speed walking towards his friend. 

Thud, thud, thud, the steps echoed ominously, growing closer and faster with each passing moment. Remus increased his peace, trying to get to Sirius before whoever was stepping closer to them did.

Remus looked around, trying to find him, and he was still looking for the book with his wand brightly lit, completely unaware of the approaching danger. Thud, thud, THUD, it was getting closer, so close Remus had to improvise. 

He grabbed the cloak and repeated the same motion he had done earlier, wrapping it around the two of them in a second, but not measuring his strength, he ended up pressing Sirius against the bookshelf, the boy was about to protest, but Remus heard the steps getting even closer, so he placed one hand on Sirius’ mouth and the other one, he wrapped around the light still coming from the boy’s wand. 

Sirius was shocked at first. It’s not that it was weird for Remus to stand so close to him, in fact, the line of personal space had been rather blurry between them for the longest time –especially with how handsy Sirius was all the time– but this was different. The way Remus was pressing onto him reminded him an awful lot of the way he pressed himself onto you sometimes. Sirius almost panicked, breath hitched in his throat when he turned his icy blue eyes to Moony’s face.

He was towering above him, breath steady as he looked to the side, head slightly tilted as he listened on. The footsteps were finally becoming audible for Sirius as well, but even if he was hearing them, he wasn’t quite registering them, he was too busy staring at Remus. He swallowed, focusing his eyes on Remus’s lips for a second before turning back to his eyes, feeling panic at the thoughts surging through his head. 

For the first time in a while, Sirius was completely frozen in place, not knowing exactly what to do in a situation like this. He wondered if Prongs had been the one doing the same thing, what would’ve been his reaction. How different would it have been from the reaction he’d given Wormtail? What if it was you? 

Remus, who had been focusing on the steps rather than on the way he had trapped Sirius between his arms, seemed to finally understand the position he had placed his friend in. But even if he could feel most of Sirius’s chest against his own, and how their legs were almost intertwined with each other, he had to focus on the situation at hand. Luckily Remus was resourceful enough to be able to focus on one thing at a time, and right at that moment, the approaching steps seemed to be a priority. 

The sound was so close now, even Sirius managed to free himself from the trance and turned his eyes to the creak of the metal door being opened. It was Professor Spellman, Remus realised. The man strolled in casually and started looking through the shelves with the light of a small kerosene lantern. 

When he got closer to the place where both boys stood, Remus pressed himself a little closer to Sirius, their heads so close Sirius could feel Monny’s breath on his ear. He could also feel the soft rise and fall of his friend’s chest against his own. For some reason the image of Remus’ pirate costume came to his mind, how both you and him had tried to fix his collar when Remus stepped away and took some distance. Remus certainly didn’t seem to care about the closeness now. 

Remus could feel Sirius’ curls tickling his cheeks, and he could also feel the way Sirius’ breath had caught in his throat. He could sense out the scent of his shampoo, and he also smelled a little of you. No, your smell was all over Sirius just like Sirius’ smell was almost always all over you. It was an absolutely intoxicating mix, downright bewitching. So much so that he almost leaned closer to bury his head on Sirius’ neck when he realised what he was doing and leaned to the side instead, pretending like he was just looking at Spellman.

Sirius eventually let go of the initial shock, and even if his heart was pounding against his chest, he managed to maintain a slow, regular breathing pattern, as if not to call the attention of Spellman. He had practice already, he’d been in one too many dangerous and exciting situations, being just about to get caught wasn’t foreign to him. What was foreign, is how weird being so close to Remus made him feel. 

Which is why he did the only thing he knew worked in situations like that, and he decided to make a joke of his feelings and thoughts instead of dealing with them. He vividly remembered his own reaction to you doing this to him, he wanted to see if Remus would keep his composure if he did the exact same thing. 

Sirius Black might give me a heart attack, Remus thought as he felt the way the blue-eyed boy shifted around. And then, all of a sudden, he felt it; wet and sticky, did he just fucking lick my hand? Remus wondered. But decided he might have imagined it. Except he felt it a second time around. He frowned, turning around to see if Spellman was still close, when he realised he was just far enough, he tightened his grip around the boy’s mouth “Sirius. Behave!” Remus berated in a low demanding voice. 

Not Pads, not Siri, but Sirius, your boyfriend realised as his breath hitched in his throat yet again. The way Remus Lupin had said that straight up sent a shiver down his spine. He gulped and obediently shut his mouth. 

Remus, on the other hand, was really trying to maintain his steady breath. Even, as he felt his heart hammering against his chest. It was so loud to him, he wondered if Spellman could hear it because Sirius had to be hearing it. At least he could chuck it to the brink of almost being caught. Eventually, the professor grabbed a book and walked outside. 

When the thumps of his footsteps sounded far enough, he finally pulled his hand from Sirius’ mouth,  looking at the boy straight in the eye as he continued breathing heavily. He pulled back as well, finally letting the space normal friends would keep when hanging around each other. Sirius almost missed the closeness, no he did miss the closeness, which was even worse.

“You got the book?” Remus asked before either of them could say something weird. Sirius shook his head and the two of them started to look for the book. Both still under the cloak, both still so dangerously close to each other that, had any of the two wanted, they would have been able to bask in each other’s warmth. But both kept their distanc, both too scared of what the other might have been thinking. 

“It’s here,” Sirius said as he pulled the book from the shelf “The Alchemist’s Grimoire, right?” 

Remus nodded, “Let’s get out of here.”  

You were walking back to the common room when you felt someone’s hand on your arm, yanking you towards their chest. You didn’t have to even look to know it had been Sirius. His cologne filling your nostrils the moment you were wrapped inside the cloak, “So you did find me,” you said turning to Remus, who was also under the cloak, he was placing a piece of parchment behind him, tucking it in between his pants and sweater. 

“How was the talk? You’ve got detention?” Sirius asked, moving you to stand right in between the two of them. You felt a little squeezed and thought it was weird since normally Sirius would just stand behind you, but shrugged it off. 

“No,” you said “She actually wanted to train me,” you explained “She said I could make a fine duelist.” 

“She’s not wrong,” Remus said simply. You turned to him with eyebrows raised “What? We all saw the way you quashed Evan.” 

“That wasn’t… never mind, how was your incursion in the library?” you asked, drifting the subject away. Both boys tensed up, you probably wouldn’t have noticed, but you were quite literally pressed in between the two “That bad?” 

“Spellman,” Remus said, “He walked inside while we were still looking, we had to stay very still under the cloak for a long while.” 

“Oh, must have been fun,” you joked with a teasing smile, but neither of them reacted, which had you side-eye the two with a bit of a frown. 

“You bet,” Remus responded after a rather long silence. You frowned, something was definitely off between the two. Did they fight? And if they did, over what? you thought, even if “fight” wasn’t exactly the vibe you were getting. 

The three of you continued walking for a while, “this is my stop,” Sirius said suddenly, the three of you stopped walking, and Sirius placed his hand on your shoulder to guide you closer to the entrance of the passageway he’d take back to the dorms. 

“This is for you,” Remus said as he pulled out the charms book from his shoulder bag, Sirius took it and gave him the other book in return. You observed their interactions with squinted eyes, they were both a little stiff, robotic. Especially Sirius, actually, it might have just been Sirius, Remus did look a little fazed but he always did after the full moon, and it had barely been a couple of days since the incident either way. 

“Mind if I steal her for a minute?” Sirius said as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside the passage along with him. You gave Remus a questioning look and he just shrugged, allowing Sirius to basically pull you all the way to the other side, letting the tapesry to fall back into place, giving you both just enough privacy. 

You managed to barely give Sirius a look before he had you pinned against the cold stone wall and leaned into you. You didn’t even have a chance to gasp before he swallowed the sound by clashing his mouth into yours. Sirius hadn’t kissed you that hungrily since, perhaps a couple of days ago when you were still craving meat above anything else, but even back then, it had been you the one that had started the kiss. The one time he had kissed you, remotely like that, had perhaps been at the Halloween Party…

You knew something was up, but you couldn’t help but melt into the kiss either way, perhaps he was just too stressed after almost being caught and he wanted a way to find release. And no, using you as a relief of stress was not at all making you feel bad, in fact, you kind of enjoyed being able to help him, to anchor him. 

Sirius pushed even closer to you, sliding his knee in between your legs as he placed both hands on your face, angling it however he pleased, you let him, in fact, you enjoyed it. The way he kissed you made you feel giddy and excited and almost weak on the knees. You wrapped your hands around his neck, using him as support as you brushed your fingers on the nape of his neck. He responded by pressing his hips to you, probably involuntarily, but you had noticed he absolutely loved it when you placed your fingers there, under his beautiful black locks, so you did it when you wanted a reaction from him. 

He accidentally brushed your wounded shoulder, and you winced, “Sorry,” he mumbled, separating from your mouth for just enough to be able to say the words and going straight back to kissing you, letting his hands wrap around your waist instead. You didn’t realise until much later that Sirius had not once, in the many times he kissed you after you got hurt, been so careless with his kisses, so needy. 

But you didn’t care, you couldn’t care, really. Not with the way he had you pressed against the stone wall, not with the way he had his lips moving around yours in such a demanding way, not with the way he smelled. And boy, did he smell fucking delicious that day. It was his normal cologne, the smell of musk and leather, but there was something else in the mix too, something you couldn’t quite place. Or perhaps it was something that your brain just didn’t want to place, since it was Remus. What you were smelling, the one thing that was different had been there just because of the way Moony had pressed Sirius against the wall. But you didn’t know, and there was no way you realised either way. Not with the way Sirius’s kiss made your mind foggy. 

When he finally broke the kiss, the two of you were panting, and he started placing soft, butterfly kisses all over your face. He looked at you with a lovesick smile “You’re stunning, you know that?” he asked. 

You blushed, as if it was possible to blush even more than you already had, but you somehow managed to sober up from the kiss and placed your hand on his cheek, he keened to the touch, still with a smile as he looked at you with those beautiful icy-blue eyes of his, shining brightly in the dark room “Are you okay Puppy?” you asked, a small smile forming in your face. 

Sirius’ smile faltered for only a second, as if he had remembered something and he nodded “More than perfect,” he smirked, “especially after that kiss.” His tone had changed, he was flirting, he was distracting you.  

You averted your gaze, sometimes you were weaker to his advances, sometimes his flirting affected you a lot more than normally, even if you should’ve already gotten used to it. But there was something still bothering you in the back of your head and you turned back to look at him, “Are you sure?”

Sirius smiled at your concern, but also because whatever had him feeling so off minutes earlier, was gone, you were there, and he wanted to kiss you, not Moony, but you. So whatever that had been, must have been a spur-of-the-moment thing, he was utterly and irrevocably in love with you, which meant there was no way he liked Remus. Because you couldn’t like two people at the same time, that was impossible… right? 

“Absolutely,” he said, placing another one of those quick wet kisses, this time to your lips, “Moony’s waiting outside for you luv, aren’t you planning to go?” 

You tilted your head, a small scoff slipping from your lips “You’re the one that cornered me in the dark hallway Puppy.” 

He hummed as he tilted his head “You want another kiss don’t you, little Kit?” he teased after hearing the nickname.

You shrugged, ignoring the pain from your shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear “Maybe later lover boy, we’ve got work to do,” you said in what you hoped was a seductive tone before leaning in and placing a soft kiss in his mouth. Seconds after you disappeared through the curtain. 

Sirius looked at you, frozen in place again, mouth agape as he saw the tapestry shut behind you. He swallowed, face stoic once more, the way you had whispered in his ear, had reminded him an awful lot of the way Remus had earlier, softer, almost like a purr rather than a demanding bark, but both had felt as intimate as the other. Both equally shiver inducing.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Merry Christmas Guys! Thought of giving you a special little Christmas gift today, hope you enjoy, and you're all having the happiest of times. If you are not thought, that is alright, and my DMs are ALWAYS open in case you wanna talk about it. -> AHHHH Sirius’ gay panic, I hope I got this one right, I’ve been wanting to post this since I wrote it a few weeks ago… how do you like it? Lilly xxx

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