#AND THE BLACK DRAGON IN GENERAL HOLY SHIT

[n0tamused]

HOLY SHIT FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THAT DRAGON WUWA POST?????? EMUACH

thoughts on dragon calcharo and scar tho??? if u have any,,,, if not, its oki too take ur time😚

A/n: HELLO NOBUUU!!! <3 I'm so happy you liked the first part oml, and I'm more than happy to give a part two to that as well! I didn't expect people to ask about my OC too, but that's really sweet and decided to include her at the end too :,) Hope you enjoy! Lemme know if you guys want anyone else as dragons, HSR, Genshin or Wuwa

Contents: Calcharo, Aalto, Scar x reader, Encore (strictly platonic familial stuff), Jien(oc), fluff, dragons

Wuthering Waves characters as dragons pt.2

Calcharo:

-Another dragon that is a long way from his home and closely related to the dragons of the New Federation. 

-Not the one you see around too often, as he does tend to avoid civilization where he can, even avoiding flying if that would get him too much attention, but honestly he is really pretty to see in flight-

-He is scarily beautiful, and some people managed to catch a picture or two of him in flight from afar, so it’s one of those blurry “is it a unicorn” pictures that people spread around like wildfire

-Due to his lack of contact with others, a lot of ghost tales began to circulate around him, and gossip has it that he wasn’t born as he looks now. People say he was born pure as snow, but somewhere down the line, the gods cursed him, and now he physically bears that curse in the shape of tough black scales that spread over him unevenly, and the golden star on his chest is said to be the only place a blade can pierce him. A few courageous, or rather stupid, individuals did try to test this theory for glory and money that an anonymous bidder has set on Calcharo’s head. But those people were never heard from again.

-The climate around Jinzhou is not his favorite, so he tends to retreat into the mountains a lot where there’s a cooler breeze and colder caves to rest in properly. His mane helps him with regulating body heat, but it is in no way made for summer heat.

-It is said that Calcharo and Jiyan are in amiable talks with one another, with both patrolling the territory of Jinzhou and protecting it in their own ways. Two sides of the same coin, as one would say. Jiyan has also made attempts at bringing Calcharo to meet the others, to get to know the people, and when he did Calcharo was rather reluctant to leave his dragon form, and he walked there in his towering form. But when he was met with wonder, warm welcomes and greetings and with some small pushing from Jiyan, he caved in and showed the people his human form as well. Sure, there was some reluctance in people’s eyes as well, but their General vouched for this newcomer and told them of the feats he accomplished in the name of them or their protection, and they had faith in their General Jiyan.

-From that point on, the ghost tales did lessen, and the children of Jinzhou seemed to find it easier to wander further into the woods, and the adults found it easier to relax with two of the strongest dragons patrolling the territory. 

-However, Calcharo wouldn’t be able to cover all that vast territory alone, and from a long while ago he has pulled a few trusted ones into his fold and under his wing. 

-Be it other dragon folk like him, or regular people, he has many ears and eyes all over the lands, to the point he doesn’t even need to leave his mountain cave to know what goes on in the city at the foot of the mountain. Due to this, even if people began to regard him as an ally, they still do not dare to provoke him in any way, and criminals have begun to walk on their tip toes, afraid to poke one of Calcharo’s spies or men that he was so protective of. 

-Calcharo doesn’t hoard much of anything in his caves. Perhaps some weapons, but for the most part it is all barren. Sometimes moonlight shines into the cave from some hole in the ceiling of the cave, making his mane the color of beaten silver, and making all his markings go pale. He nearly looks covered in snow, pure white again.

-He doesn’t like you traveling so far up the roads just to see him, but if you do, he does keep you around for a few days to make your journey worth it. In that short time you stay with him, you find his cave gets quickly filled with supplies necessary for you to have an enjoyable/comfortable time.

-He doesn’t often nap or sunbathe, he also claims the sun hurts his scales. Due to their uneven thickness and distribution, one part of him could benefit from a bit of the sun, but the other would just start burning. 

-Although he looks like he is constantly scowling and sneering, he does greatly appreciate your presence. The quiet around, and the exploration you two seem to undertake suddenly seems more lively and worth the time to look at.

-Be it that you’re dragonkin or just a human, he does take you for a flight. Sometimes he does this if he is mid patrol or mid mission and he can’t just keep you behind. He knows he has what it takes to defend you, so he doesn’t mind you tagging along.

-His mane is also  free real estate bed, go ahead and bury yourself in it and while you’re at it you can also use another strand of his long mane as a blanket.

-He smells fresh too.

Aalto:

-One of the friendliest dragons, and he certainly looks the part as well with how soft he may look and behave. He is the dragon people see a lot around, and some claim he brings down the morning mists and others say he can wash clouds away with his wings to make way for the sun, but that’s all folktale. He can create mist and make his escape safe and quick, or his attack, but he finds fun in other folktales that surround him.

-Due to his breed, he really doesn’t look fit for battle, and many dragons misjudged him for his lack of limbs that could otherwise serve in a fight. But, naturally, they are wrong about him. 

-While Aalto lacks in mass, size and limbs, he makes up for all of it in agility, speed and intellect, using whatever environment is around him to his advantage, and you’d be surprised how much strength his talons have. 

-He has a lot of power in him for a seemingly “weightless dragon”.

-Aalto is also often seen near or around little Encore. And when she begins to stir trouble, or trouble finds them, he is quick to snatch her up in his talons like an eagle snatches a fish out of a lake, and flies off into the mist to disappear

-Aalto is also not the one to hide in his dragon form. He understands that he is already perceived as “weak” to some extent, driving some to believe he isn’t even worth attacking, and so he sees it as no harm in indulging in human activities as well, which also have their own merits and advantages, especially in his field of work. How else is he supposed to get all that information if he is this one big stumbling beast? Come on! This is Aalto! He knows way better than to let gossip stop him.

-Even if the gossip was the other way around, he would be sure in his skills to take on whoever goes after him. His senses are as sharp as a blade, and he does notice a lot even if he doesn’t let it on, especially since he doesn’t let it on.

-He has quite a characteristic chirp in his dragon form, it is a really sweet and comforting sound and can sometimes mean playtime, and he often uses it when Encore is around or some other kids that he is around with in that moment.

-Although he is very well met with people all around the place, he does his best to not let any of them get under his skin and worm themselves in his heart, as such could mean potential danger in his missions. So while he is surrounded by people, he does sometimes feel left out and alone.

-You seem to melt all that away though, standing at his side and twining your fingers with his before taking him to get food or drinks, saying how much his absence was noted, not just by you but by others as well. The lady that lives next to you that has grown accustomed to seeing Aalto come to your door with gifts and meals has begun to ask if he left you, already preparing a mouthful of scolding words, but upon your reassurance that he was simply working, she quieted down. And the kids in the streets began to wonder where their “sky dragon” had gone off too. They do this every time, no matter how many times he leaves for work.

-His mane isn’t fur, and although in some places his feathers give the illusion of fur, they’re just fine and thin feathers that are also well kept and clean. You can swear the mist has something to do with it. 

-Aalto often does leave behind a feather or two for you to keep before a trip, and slowly this big vase in the back of the house is starting to overflow with giant feathers of your lover

-He brings you other gifts too, some of them big so they only fit in your yard, and others smaller that fit inside your house

-He is quite the cuddly dragon with you, but be warned he does love to snatch you up and take to the skies when you least expect it

Encore:

-Make way for Encore! This sweet little baby brings a lot to the table, even much more than any other dragon ever - Aalto probably 

-She is the sweetest, and she is such a ball of energy, it can be hard for anyone to keep up with her. She loves to play with other children that are around, usually giving them rides on her back since she is still a bit big in comparison to a grown adult, let alone a small child. She dares them all to stay on her back while she jumps and bucks and  rolls around- which, hey, can be dangerous and Aalto makes sure there is no rolling at least unless they want someone to become a human pancake

-Due to her age, her scales have only now begun to grow and form, making them soft and easily damaged. Aalto tends to get Encore to spend more time in human form than dragon form, just for safety sake. But at the moment, due to the exact reason for her scales forming, she has to spend more time as a dragon to give her scales proper space and time to grow and develop.

-Her friends give her all sorts of gifts, bows and sweets and clips, and they help her comb her hair since it is now harder for her to do so..etc

-The two sheep plushies she usually carries in her human form are now like ants in her claws but she still has them following her, like flies compared to her

-She is a restless sleeper, and usually goes to power naps in some warm grass, giving Aalto a heart attack when he just disappears, but she is back quickly enough, hopping like a deer through grass. 

-The creatures of the woods both love her and fear her. Love her since she is a lot more like them and is respectful, but she is just too loud and during playtime can get a bit rough

-Here comes Aalto to snag her up.

Scar:

-Scar is another kind of dragon that hasn’t been seen around before, at all really. He is one of a kind, and quite scary while he’s at it too. Not only is he a giant, but his horns give him such a haunting appearance. If you were to see him in the night, his towering shadow and giant horns paired with four glowing eyes staring into your soul, you wouldn’t feel the best y’know

-He tends to wander, but seems to leave no traces behind him. One day he may be in the south, and the next he is down at the coastline near the northern cities.

-From some angles he looks rather disfigured, but if he allows you to approach him, you can see that all his bones are, in fact, in their place and he isn’t broken - he just hyperflexible-

-One sound he just loves to do is that one that is akin to a laughing hyena + cougar, he mixes the sound to the point you can only just shiver or tense up. On that topic, he is quite able to mimic many sounds and make new ones, and again - this is his favorite activity to do, especially when there’s people around to spook or run off from the territory 

-I mentioned he has four eyes. The bigger pair serves for normal vision, just like you and I, but they are also eyes for a predator, while the smaller pair are more for panoramic views. Although he can hardly be classified as a prey animal, he was a small lamb once too, and had to keep watch out for bigger predators.

-Although he doesn’t breathe fire, he also has a way of manipulating flames and creating them. The ends of his clothes that hang from him sometimes catch fire, giving him an haunting look as he is mid battle and burning himself - but the flames never touch him to hurt him,

-He doesn’t lack in limbs, and he especially is more than useful in both combat and scaling mountains and rocks. He can grab and kick and slash and bite. What more is there?

-Just like with any other dragon that isn’t in much contact with humanity and that looks as scary as him, a lot of people have woven different stories about the goat dragon. It’s mostly parents scaring their children with these tales, saying how the goat dragon will snag them if they stay too late outside or if they wander too far off.

-Some other stories include details of his origin. Some adventurous spirit found old cave paintings that show a black lamb and a big herd, and so they say he was a sacrifice himself. That the form they sometimes glimpse is nothing more but a vengeful spirit that seeks those who harmed him.

-Scar can’t fly, but he can float a bit, but he can also jump really high so watch out for that.

-He also lacks a lot of scales besides for his front claws.  He may be the only dragon that’s fluffed up as he is.

-For practicality sake, he doesn’t often do his things and missions in human form - it’s just way easier to swoop in like this beast, scare off the enemy and take their things, rather than chit chat and try to get through their stubborn heads.

-He does taunt them while he attacks with those sounds he makes, and sometimes, to lure a particular person out, he does imitate the voice of someone they’re close to.

-Sometimes, he is able to morph his skull to represent the skull of a goat, but those are just illusions and not real.

-Honestly, his fut is quite nice to the touch, although the big mane is a bit coarse and really thick 

-Although the woods are the best place for hiding and stalking, his horns often get stuck on branches and plants, so he prefers open fields for this reason

-Picks you up, carries you around, just unprompted. “You’re my friend now” meme,and there’s you dangling from his claws while he goes off who knows where

-Clingy in his sleep, so clingy. You have to be present or else. Else what? No clue, but you prefer not to be chirped at in the middle of the night, even if you know it is him making all that scary noise

Wuwa Jien:

–A dragon that seems to have been slumbering for the last several centuries, or else people simply believe her to be really old. Her slumber has paused her growth, but her scales still grew hard and impenetrable. Her claws are dark gold and leave behind a faint glimmer on things or dragons she slashes with them. 

-She is another dragon that doesn’t often interact with civilization, and just prefers to keep to her woods and fields. People began to claim that leaves grow greener while she is within the woods, and winters never last too long there either. For this, people do respect her and just leave her be. Although she isn’t social, she doesn’t shy away from people if they stumble into each other. Some people have come across her as she is laying down on some big boulder, resting or soaking in some sun, others have been there as she flew overhead, and she didn’t deny giving help to lost or distressed souls that find their way to her territory

-She is still quite formidable, and similarly to Aalto, she makes up for her lack of size with intellect and strategy

-She is another dragon that can breathe fire, like Mortefi. Her flames are really pale, almost golden and burn even hotter than Mortefi’s fire.

-Some people may find trees marked with her teeth, and some say it’s because she is marking her territory, while others say she is growing even more teeth.

-Jien is quite territorial though, and isn’t too happy when many people come and go, and even less when other dragons do so. She is quite tolerable though. She has patience and grits her teeth when someone tresspasses, giving them a chance to leave swiftly, but can sometimes make some noise to give warning to the unwanted visitors - primarily dragons. The only humans she’d give such hard treatment to are those that harm nature and litter or do any other sort of harm or are scheming to do so.

-There is a story that some people like to say that involves the General Jiyan, and it speaks of how the General went to her woods to seek her out for some assistance, but as he did arrive in the middle of the night and sh didn’t recognize him, she nearly clawed his lungs out. But from that encounter and onward, there were no fights between the two, and the army of Jinzhou never lacked in herbs from then either

-Loves to fly, and can often be seen gliding over her woods, and sometimes Jinzhou city and the surrounding mountains. It isn’t often for her to travel too far, but on rare occasions she goes to Mt. Firmament, which is more often in summer, she brings back a huge block of ice with her

-She has this big pool in the rocks of one hill, a big canopy of an oak overhead - it is a natural spring in which she is known to bathe in, and also perfect for her size.

-Doesn’t shy from human form either, and similarly to Mortefi - she prefers to do her paperwork and smaller business with human hands which are more precise, rather than claws. 

Size chart and trivia:

Calcharo is the biggest one in this lineup, having both size, mass and height to him, and can easily be classified as a war dragon as well

Scar is next in line, but he is much more lanky in comparison to Calcharo

Aalto is bigger than Jien but she has him beat in the strength department

Encore, of course is the smallest one here, Aalto can easily grab her in one talon and carry her off

So far, size wise the chart would be Geshu Lin> Jiyan/Calcharo>Scar>Aalto>Jien>Jinhsi>Mortefi>Encore

Tried to base Calcharo on a more wolflike anatomy/patterns since it suits him imo. So he has shorter claws that also look like paws

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

Okay. I know the general consensus is not this, but if Catelyn had been told the truth about Jon from the get go, she would have treated him better. Relatively. Like, she wouldn't have gave him shit for being a bastard or been ice queen bitch stepmother to him, but uh. there would have been other issues. Just think about how having Catelyn aboard the hide-Jon-train would go for one second. For one second. Okay? We are talking about Catelyn fucking Stark nee Tully. And we are also talking about Catelyn fucking Stark nee Tully before the other four kids came along. Just her baby Robb and Ned and Ned's nephew. (and if you don't think that Ned saving Jon from under Robert's nose on a promise to his sister wouldn't make I-released-the- king-slayer-to-bring-back-my-daughters-Catelyn fall so hard in love with him her head is still ringing fifteen years later you are LYING to yourselves) So think mother gothel. She would have micromanaged the shit out of Jon's life and upbringing. Ned is pretty lax so as security measures go in terms of Jon, but Cat? Winterfell would get turned into FBI headquarters. Vibe checks at the door and retina scanners and Jon and Robb have a praetorian guard on their cradles. Yeah she'd be cool to Jon in public as he grows but in private she's frantically brushing his hair every night looking for whites. Holding him up to the light to check for hints of purple in his eyes. As they get older she namedrops bastard a lot but secretly actively fosters a relationship between Jon and the other kids because Catelyn-Sansa-will-be-queen-of-the-seven-kingdoms-Stark nee Tully knows about the pact of Ice and Fire and having one of the last Targs bouncing around is tickling the politician in her. That being said she institutes a book ban on Targ history and is always on Ned's ass about them playing dragons. When Arya is gets old enough she makes it a point to put her and Jon next to each other at all times. Jon getting a direwolf are goddammed holy blessing to her. When Robert's dump ass comes to visit she's having a conniption about Jon being recognized and nearly locks his ass in the crypts until he decides of his own free will to sit in the cheap seats before she blows a gasket. She hates the Wall idea because who the Fuck is going to watch this kid as well as she's been doing for the past fifteen years? WHO? If she had found out about Aemon being up there she's have blown up castle black. Jon, who has had to deal with this shit since attaining spatial awareness tries to get Benjen to let him take his night's watch vows at Winterfell's weirwood. Man wants OUT. He can't deaal with tiger mom ass no more. When he comes to visit Bran she slips and says something cryptic and weirdly affectionate and it puts his ass in a tailspin all the way to the Wall.

Like, I know people think it'd go more downhill if she knew about Jon but why? Boring. Uninspired. Booooo. Get fun with it.

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Shinichiro, stay away from the kids!

(with love)

Okay, first of all, this is not a hating Shinichiro post. I swear it. This is just me having brainrot and thinking in how many times Shin was a questionable example for kids and teens around him and how we seem to forget about it but it's kinda hilarious when you put all of them together (except for Sanzu, that is never funny, my poor lil gremlin 😭)

I know most of this things were because he was also too young, oblivious and reckless. I know that, but it's funny to bully him with affection anyway 🙈

(and in the more serious ones, he was too dissociated and too out of everything, I know that too)

So... Here I go, random Shinichiro moments for all of you!

(big manga spoilers because it's Shinichiro)

Leaving Inupi to look out the shop.

Inupi, who looks like a cute potato here and it's deffinetly too young for it. Canon unpayed intern Inupi, yuhuuu! 💜

Him smoking around bikes all the damn time.

In his shop where Inupi was and could blow out the whole block. But also in his garage, where Draken and Mikey used to watch him fix the bikes. Shin, don't, that's dangerous! (I would say "if you wanna kill yourself do it but don't drag others with you", buuuuuut... Yeah, he did it and everyone got drag on that, so why bother to say it? 😑)

Wharever the fuck this was.

Probably just a prank, but.. Really, Shin? You ran away and left Izana there? I know, I know, you're a dumb teen, but c'mon, think for once! The whole interaction makes me laugh and want to smack Shinichiro in general, to be honest.

Oh...I think the not-so-funny ones are about to start. Here we go!

Leaving the Black Dragons to the traumatized orphan that just went out of juvie.

Yeah, that looks like a great idea, I'm sure nothing wrong will come out of this, lalalalalalala! (Shinichiro and his relationship with delinquency and his siblings should be a lot more explored because holy shit)

(Btw, not even pointing the helmets stuff, nops)

Bringing 8 y/o Mikey to gang meetings.

Like... What the fuck? I'm with Takeomi on this one, are you stupid Shinichiro? What are you thinking? Are you thinking? 😒

Love how BenWaka bully him for it too, that's why I left it here, ngl.

Isn't that just how Haruchiyo is, slashing people for Mikey?

Well, yeah, he is, but he wasn't! He shouldn't! Can't you not pretend this is not concerning for a second? Or... Not settle this mindset on Sanzu because it's gonna have big consequences? 🤦🏻

Talking about his inminent suicide with a 13 y/o.

Okay, I thought A LOT about putting this one, because obviously I'm not judging Shin at all, he was in a really dark place and when you're about to kill yourself you can't think clearly. It's just that this exchange... Breaks me. And Haruchiyo is just a kid, this is so not fair for him either 😭

(Sanos, start treating the Akashis like people with feelings that also matter for once, please)

You can still be his friend even if he scarred you for life!

Okay, Shin, I know you're a mix of biased and dissociated but... Really? Please, stop creating Sanzu, stop iiiiit! Let Haruchiyo alone, don't do this! Also... "Right now"? So you're saying he should forgive Mikey but not right now? Is that, Shincihiro? 😒

Trauma dumping to 13 y/o Haruchiyo. Shhh, keep the secret, bye!

Did I say Shinichiro created Sanzu? Yes? I'll say it again, I don't care. Again, I know he was dissociating and all, but, but... It's fine to kill people for Mikey mindset is now installed successfully on Haruchiyo's brain, yuhuuu! 😭

The amount of total disregard for Haruchiyo's mental health here is too much and should be a crime. The "keep the secret" part don't make it better. Specially, specially, when Shinichiro himself is not going to keep it, he's about to say everything to Wakasa. But Haru? Shhh, you should keep the secret, I'm sure this is not a huge burden for a teenager that suddenly have two set of memories!

(Well, not everything, he probably forgot to tell Waka about Haruchiyo remembering it, because in the final battle it didn't look like Sanzu ever talked about it with Wakasa and I wanna think they would if he knew... Look, another Sano forgetting about Sanzu, yuhu! 😑)

(Shin, with all my love, but I hate you for this one even if you gave me the best blorbo to torture on my fics that I ever had)

I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, random kid that I don't even know the name! 👀

YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS ONE SHINICHIRO! I wish you remembered in the final timeline because you owe Takemitchy the biggest freaking apology of all your life! What the hell? Go, apologize with Michi now!

Yes, he was able to handle it and to be traumatized infinite times in the way, but that's not the point! Use you brain for once Shin, why are you giving the burden to a kid? Why? What is wrong with you? (so many things actually xD)

But, for real, this sentence is Wakui being hilarious because c'mon, poor Takemichi!

Edit: I didn't put the poorly way Shinichiro handled everything about Izana and Mikey because I consider canon doesn't give us enough info on that. Same with Emma. What happened? Why Izana never met them? I have my hc, of course, but we don't know for sure. So... I can't ramble about how badly he managed that! (Badly, for sure, I just don't know exactly how and how much)

[fangirlingpuggle]

So more thoughts on Jack and Omi alignment swap AU (other posts are here 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5) and if canon and AU crossed over. Sorry this is rambley and long.

So canon monks, Jack, Wuya, Chase and Dojo are all transported to AU while another fight at the temple portal appears and they all fall through only to see a different Jack in temple robes with black coat and goggles on over with Dojo around his neck.

Everyone from canon is just so confused and Swap!Jack is like

Swap!Jack:IT WORKED I told it would work Dojo

Swap!Dojo:I never said it wouldn't work I said you shouldn't do it

Swap!Dojo: God this is just like Dashi

Swap!Jack: Thank you!

Swap!Dojo:NOT A COMPLIMENT!

Everyone confused, even more so when other monks come in and then Wuya of all people who just stares at alternate selves and then takes a deep breath "Jack...The FUCK?"

Swap!Jack explaining about dimensional shifting Wu

Swap!Wuya "Why would you make this?"

Swap!Jack "....to see if I could"

Swap!Wuya "You are the second coming of Dashi what I do to deserve this?"

Swap!Dojo "Other than the trying to take over the world multiple times things"

Swap!Wuya"Ugh loads of people have tried to conquer the world and they don't have to deal with Jack"

Of course Canon Wuya is freaking out over Swap Wuya

Wuya: YOUR XIAOLIN WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU"

Swap!Wuya: Please i'm neutral at most

Wuya:....

Swap!Wuya:That's my story and i'm sticking to it

Omi's asking where alternate him is and the swap monks recognizing him and being like 'WTF how are you a part of the team or even Xiaolin... I mean your dad allowed that?'

Omi just confused he doesn't have parents and all the swap Monks are just looking between Chase and Omi trying to figure out what to say.

Luckily distracted by canon Jack asking Swap!Jack why he's a Xiaolin loser and not an evil boy genius

Swap!Raimundo: Holy shit he's more of a dork then you... I didn't that was possible... no offense man

Swap!Jack:No i'm with you on this one

Cue canon 'jackbots attack' only for dragon of metal Jack to use his powers to rip the Jackbots apart and leave canon Jack staring in despair and How can you do that?Why can't I do that?How??and Swap!Jack gloating (Victory dance and all) 'Oh yeah evil boy genius ha I'm the genius Xiaolin dragon of metal maker of shen gong wu and wrecker of your shit!'

Swap!Raimundo:... Never mind ours is just as dorky

Cue swap Omi and Chase showing up because sensing weird Chi and power and what the fuck has spicier made now? Which leads to canon Chase and Omi staring t the other versions of themselves and Swap!Omi calling Swap!Chase dad.

Canon Omi is trying to process this when Swap!Omi sees him and instantly is so excited and talking at him 'Other version of me? SO cool! How strong are you? What are like? Do you want to fight?'

At this point Swap!Wuya is just like 'Ok how can you send them back'

Swap!Jack: ummmmm

Swap!Wuya:Jack

Swap!Jack:...I mean reversing mirror might work.... or it may make our universe implode...

Swap!Wuya:...

Wuya:Holy shit it is just like Dashi

Swap!Wuya: I KNOW RIGHT

Cue Canonverse hanging around temple and many questions

Kimiko:How do you know all about all these Xiaolin techniques, and all the elemental stuff

Swap!Wuya:... you brats do know I was the previous dragon of earth right?

All canon monks and Jack:WHAT?

Swap!Wuya: Oh fucking hell how much do you know about previous dragons?

All canon monks and Jack:...

Swap!Wuya:... sit down listen up and remind me to write a note for your 'teacher' for when you brats go back.

Also

Monks:So Omi is still dragon of metal but Heylin in this world does that mean Jack is still dragon of metal in ours

Swap!Wuya:Yeah probably, every generation has dragons for all of the 5 elements

Jack:Then why don't I have metal powers!?

Swap!Wuya:Eh sometimes not all dragons powers manifest I guess, normally only 4 do why only 4 monks trained

Jack:...I feel robbed

(Somewhere in both canon and AU Jermaine dragon of wood sneezes)

Anyway after Swap! most of the monks spend time sparring with alternate more chaotic versions of themselves and Jack.

Omi ends up going to Chases Palace, basically kidnapped by Swap!Omi who wanted to fight/play. Of course Chase also goes to see Swap!Chase which leads to a very very tense. Swap!Chase is not happy with the idea of his son growing up at that temple and not being protected, he's also majorly pissed canon Chase let Omi go into the Yin-Yang world. He's upset any version of his little one was even in the same world as Hannibal Roy bean. (In swap world when the yo-yo was revealed he contacted Wuya told her Hannibal was sealed there and general agreement no one goes in there it is one of the Wu that is totally sealed away in the Xiaolin vault not even the chaos gremlin monks go near it)

Swap!Chase is insulting Chase and how he isn't worthy of having Omi as his son, canon Chase is one second from snapping and it being a full on dragon brawl when suddenly canon Omi jumps in and starts squaring up to Swap!Chase defending his Chase. Which leads to Swap!Omi jumping in to defend his dad.

So it's just the 2 versions of Chase watching as the Omi's argue other which Chase is better it's the my dad is better than your dad/my dad could beat up your dad only there dads are alternate versions of the same person.

This is still going on when the others turn up because they ahve a way home and everyone just watching the 2 Omi's argue at each other and look 1 second away from going full on I will destroy you fight. It's then when both Chases just go and scoop them up (With both Omi's looking over their respective Chase's shoulders giving each other death glares).

No one comments or knows how to comment on the fact canon Chase doens't put down Omi even when they get to the temple and the portal to their world appears.Or that Omi is just hugging his neck.

The swap monks are just like 'this is normal for us' and Swap!Wuya just watches them shaking her head "I guess some things are the same in every universe"

Jack:WHY ISN'T ME HAVING COOL METAL POWERS THE SAME?!

Swap!Clay:Hey Jack, isn't the whole reason your boots even work cause you were unknowing;ly using your metal powers on em?

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Clay: So other you does have the powers then

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Kimiko: Think we should tell him that?

All swap Monks:... Nah this is funnier, let him figure it out

Sorry this is long and very dumb.

[hairmetal666]

Steddie Notes Part 7

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

He’s looking up at the most beautiful face in the world, all hard-planed jaw beautiful moles sensual mouth. There are bloody fingerprints on the strong chin and agony warps those sharp features. Eddie loves this face more than anything, so if this is the last thing he sees before he dies, he can’t be mad. Except, he doesn’t understand why Steve is so unhappy. He tries to open his mouth, to ask what’s wrong, what happened, but he’s engulfed in a pain so acute, so mind contorting, that everything goes black.

✏️✏️✏️✏️

He sees two men holding each other. Crying? His ears are thick, stuffed with cotton, no sound penetrating. One of them moves, his face now visible, and Eddie’s heart contracts. Uncle Wayne. 

Sound rushes in at the shock of seeing his uncle. His uncle crying. He can hear them now, Wayne’s partially stifled sobs, and a cracked, rough, wavering voice saying through tears, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I tried to keep him safe. I tried—"

“Shhh, my boy, you did your best. I know you did. You brought him back, Steve.”

“But he might—The doctors say—it’s all my fault, Wayne. I did this. I didn’t keep him safe.”

Eddie wants to yell, to get their attention. Can’t stand to see the two men he loves most in the world crying when he’s right here. 

✏️✏️✏️✏️

Wayne, asleep with his arms crossed over his chest, in a plastic chair. And Steve—Steve still here, still with him, still waiting for him to wake up. Steve’s left hand twines with one of Eddie’s and he’s propped up just so that he can write and hold a notebook steady at the same time. That’s briefly confusing before he recognizes that it’s a black Composition Book, one of Eddie’s own with a dragon inked in red on the front. 

He allows himself to watch Steve, admire the curve of his cheek, the sharpness of his jaw, the lovely moles and freckles across his skin (the nights Eddie spent thinking about kissing each and every one of those marks). His hair is deflated, falling limply over his forehead, but he’s still so beautiful, Eddie almost can’t take it. 

✏️✏️✏️✏️

This time is different. He senses it immediately, his head less fuzzy, his fingers able to twitch. He’s like awake awake. There’s a tube in his throat, which fucking sucks, sort of hurts. He wants to claw it out, but that seems extreme. 

He doesn’t see Wayne, but he’s not alone, his fingers twisted into someone’s hair, the silken fine strands soft against his palm. Eddie’s eyes drift down to find Steve, head cradled on his arms against the edge of the hospital bed, snoring gently. Eddie can’t stop himself from pressing the flat of his hand into the chestnut locks.

Eddie’s touch has Steve blinking sleepy hazel right before he springs to his feet, “Eddie??” he yelps. Eddie, for his part, opens his mouth to respond, remembers the tube down his throat, and settles for waving. 

“Holy shit,” Steve says. He slams the “call” button, then says, “Fuck this, be right back,” and flees into the hall. 

Later, when the doctors all leave, Eddie can’t stop the tears that slip free, but Steve is there, holding his hands, crawling into the narrow bed with him to hold him close until they fall asleep, Eddie’s head on Steve’s chest.

✏️✏️✏️✏️

A week later, Eddie wakes up in an empty room. He hasn’t been alone, even once, since regaining consciousness and he has a second of panic before he hears the soft murmur of Steve’s voice from just outside the door. It’s relaxing, and Eddie’s gaze falls to the shockingly blue sky out his window. 

He's lucky, he knows. He lived, the murder charges were dropped, he found a group of people to call family. 

And Steve. Even if they’re just friends. It’s okay. He’s okay with that. Steve saved his life, stayed by his side, gave Eddie the most love he’s ever had. And that’s good.

He’s so locked into his thoughts he doesn’t realize that Steve’s come back into the room until there’s a Hawkins General branded notepad and pen thumping into his lap.   

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You okay?”

“Just thinking.”

“Good stuff?”

Eddie smiles as he writes. “Yeah.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Just that I’m lucky to have you as a friend.”

Steve’s face flushes a pretty pink and maybe Eddie takes it back, being okay with just friends. 

“Best friends forever, right?”

It’s Eddie’s turn to blush. “As long as you’ll have me.”

“Forever then.”

He looks at Steve, then, at the flush of his face and the brightness of his eyes and wishes.

“Eds.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re staring.”

“Sorry.”

“No, I like it.”

“Steve,” he whispers. His heart’s going a mile a minute and Steve is looking at him, gazing at him, his whole fucking heart in those hazel eyes. 

“I have something for you,” Steve says. It’s careful, like he’s afraid Eddie will spook. He pulls a crumpled sheet of paper from his jacket pocket, smoothing it out, handing it over.

Eddie looks at the note. 

“You ever been in love?” it says.

“No, but I think I’m falling,” is the answer

“I love you, Eddie,” is the follow-up. It’s accompanied by an atrocious sketch of a sailor boy and a rockstar holding hands, little asymmetrical valentine’s hearts between them.

Eddie can’t help it, he laughs even as tears fill his eyes. His heart is all twisted up, his mind reeling. This can’t be real. How can this be real.

“Eds?” Steve asks. He’s nervous now, breathy, and oh, he really meant it. 

Steve Harrington is in love with Eddie Munson. 

Jesus Christ. 

“Stevie?” Eddie can’t quite get air into his lungs; he’s so overwhelmed with fondness. “Baby, I love you so much.” 

Steve’s crying now. “I’m sorry it took me so long,” he writes.

 “You took as much time as you needed, considering I thought you were straight.”

“Me too. Until you.”

“Come here?” Eddie shifts as far over in the hospital bed as he can. He has to have Steve close, has to touch him, has to make sure this is actually happening. 

Steve climbs up, gentle in a way that only Steve Harrington can be, and Eddie curls into him, holding the man he loves as tight as he can. 

“Can I say that I’m sorry?” Steve asks, mouth against Eddie’s ear. 

“Again? I don’t think you have anything else to apologize for.”

“Kissing you that night.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow and Steve seems to catch the misstep, quickly says. “Oh, shit. No, I’m not sorry for the kiss, but for when it happened. You were upset and I thought it might help?”

Eddie giggles, can’t stop it, but cups a hand around the contours of Steve’s cheek. 

“It did help. But mayyybe the circumstances weren’t the best.” 

“That’s why I’m sorry.” His eyes flick to Eddie’s mouth. “You think I can make up for it now?” 

“Please,” Eddie answers, can hardly get the words out, too shocked at how this is his life; that the boy he loves, loves him back.

One of Steve’s hands winds into the hair at the back of Eddie’s skull, and then they’re kissing, soft and slow, and he can’t think of anything aside from Steve Harrington’s gentle chapped lips and the stubble on his jaw and the way his mouth feels around Eddie’s tongue.  

They pull apart after a couple of minutes, Eddie already feeling the strain on his battered body. Their foreheads rest against each other, still sharing air.  

“I love you,” Eddie whispers. 

“Love you more than anything, Eds,” Steve answers, his hold on Eddie tightening, like he'll never, ever let go.

✏️✏️✏️✏️

On a napkin from the Hideout, imprinted with the ring of a glass and half-formed song lyrics:

“What if we owned this place, Stevie? I’ve got ideas.”

“You want to?”

“Been thinking about it. As much as I’m shocked to admit it, we could have a life here. A good one, I think.”

“Whatever you want, babylove. Whatever makes you happy. You know I’ll go wherever you are.” 

“Even if we stay in shitty old Hawkins?”

“Even then. Best friends forever, yeah?”

“God, you’re a dork, Harrington”

“The dork you’ve been in love with for three years.”

“I’m having second thoughts.”

“Like hell you are. You’re obsessed with me.”

It ends with a cheeky little sketch of a devil.

On a Hawkins Middle paystub for guidance counselor Steve Harrington:

“Wanna do the one-shot with us when the kids are home for Christmas?”

“Sure”

--

“What?”

“Sure. Sure says Steve Harrington like it’s nothing, like I haven’t asked you to play almost every week for YEARS.”

“Calm down, Munson. Let’s just say you wore me down.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“Paladin, do you think?”

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

“Hmm, what race, though? I want to be something cool.”

“Steve.”

“Huh?”

“Take your fucking clothes off right fucking now”

On a wedding invitation addressed to Steve and Eddie (return address Max Mayfield and Lucas Sinclair):

“Why didn’t you get more milk???”

“Oops, sorry, Stevie. Forgot”

“Well???’

“Oh, you want me to go now. Okay. Back soon.”

“Love you, Eds”

“Love you more, Stevie.”

On scattered bits of paper and detritus across the Munson household:

“Love you, baby”

“Love you more”

“Love you most”

“You’re everything, Munson.”

“Kiss me”

“Always”

“You’re beautiful, Steve Harrington. Can’t believe I get to have this.”

“Love you”

“Love you more”

(BONUS PART)

This is the end of the Steddie Notes saga (though there may be a Steddie Notes-verse surprise coming soon 😈) This part took longer than usual because I wanted to make it perfect. I hope you love it as much as I do!!! I'll be posting this on ao3 soon, if you want to check it out there too (I'll be adding back pieces I cut for length). Thank you all so much for sticking with me! It's been such a pleasure to write and share with you all! 💜💜💜

@gaysonthefloor @little-gae-shit @ineffablecolors @mojowitchcraft @hiscrimsonangel @thegingerrapunzel @adelicioustragedy @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @im-sam-fucking-winchester @rainydays35 @gobbledy-gluk-gluk @gay-stranger-things @sherilitchi @gezell-igg @leather-and-freckles @bornonthesavage @ramyayaya @awkwardgravity1 @chaoticvictorianspirit @thosemessyvibes @beeing-stuupid @silentiumdelirium @freyaforestafay @thatbitchgayasf @sapphirecobalt-1 @sahh-dude @adorkfromnewyork @ollie-in-gray @extralegobrick @snapshotmaestro

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@trainchomp @anaibis

[terramythos]

MY TOP 25 BEST POKEMON

by popular demand, in descending order.

25. Galvantula

she is so fluffy. they somehow made an electric spider one of the most cuddly pokemon designs of all time. WOULD get a plushie of her if i am being fully honest.

24. Scyther

he's just some guy who is also a cool looking bug who also has swords coming out of his fucking arms. a rare example of a gen 1 pokemon design that is 'extremely based' and not 'extremely boring'.

23. Roserade

Roselia in gen 3 was such a meh pokemon, so giving it this unexpectedly cool Tuxedo Mask evolution in gen 4 was awesome. I will be fully honest that my favorite version of Roserade is the shiny because it gets black and purple roses. cool as fuck

22. Scream Tail

'what if we made Jigglypuff so so so so so so scary and it wants to maim and eat you now'. say no more

21. Calyrex (Shadow Rider i guess)

as someone who skipped pokemon sword/shield entirely, this design is actually some of the coolest shit i've seen. weird looking deer knight riding on the back of a ghost horse? actually stupidly cool they were really cooking with this one.

20. Grovyle

Every PMD fan on the fucking planet knows why I put this rando middle evo Grass starter on my favorite pokemon list. And they also know that i am objectively correct for doing so. no further explanation is needed

19. Decidueye

listen this is a fucking Ghost Owl Archer, what a fucking idea, it's cool as shit and we love Decidueye in this household. the best grass starter in the game and it isn't even close. despite me putting one immediately before it on this list. no notes.

18. Gastrodon

i love you gastrodon i love you sea slugs i love you having 2 different non-shiny designs/color schemes, i love you weird squishy suctiony cry/sound effects. gastrodon is maybe my best friend possibly ever

17. Ampharos

listen even if lighthouses were not a special interest of mine i would still love the weird electric lighthouse sheep. look at this guy. truly one of THE pokemon designs ever.

16. Chandelure

love this fucking thing it looks like a kingdom hearts boss. also ghost/fire is objectively one of the coolest type combos ever (foreshadowing is a literary device in which--)

15. Hisuian Zoroark

this is a prime example of how the regional variants in modern pokemon can completely improve on the original. the original zoroark is a pretty generic edgy dog. this is a new and much more interesting take in general, it makes its once gimmicky Illusion ability much more sinister and tied to its backstory/lore. also such a great color scheme, i love the weird almost fungal looking growths on it?

14. Furret

furret my friend furret. he is a tube and also my friend.

13. Noivern

this is a vampire bat dragon, potentially the coolest thing to ever exist ever. you agree. also i like the color scheme, purple/green/red aren't usually things i would put together but it works very well here

12. Iron Valiant

there is a tumblr post that calls this thing "so nonbinary it kills you" (or something like that) and holy shit are they right. what a cool mix of gardevoir and gallade's designs. plus making it a robot knight. cool as fuck, definitely the best paradox pokemon. and again, it isn't even close lmao

11. Mawile

i remember being a little disturbed and/or weirded out by this thing when i played gen 3. over the years it has grown on me so much. what a weird fucking design. i too want a giant mouth horn growing out of my head. bonus points to mawile for also getting a sick mega evolution that i am pretty sure broke the metagame for a while. lol, lmao even.

10. Clodsire

holy fucking shit it's clodsire. fuck yes. FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES what an incredible re-imagining of quagsire i love it so much

9. Froslass

imagine you're Glalie, the world's most generic and boring ice type of all time, evolved from Snorunt and already forgotten the moment you're introduced in gen 3. then gen 4 comes along and gives female Snorunts one of the coolest pokemon of all time as an evolution. truly THE most insane evolutionary glow up in the history of the franchise. anyway i love this thing, i love that she murders hikers and displays their corpses for people that's so cool i love you froslass congratulations on your transition

8. Hawlucha

LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD

7. Espeon

definitely my favorite eeveelution, i love its simple design, the gem really ties it together. this is really one of those pokemon that feels like it'll be on your team for life. i will not elaborate on this

6. Bewear

i fucking LOVE this thing it makes me so fucking uncomfortable to look at. it has the best lore of any pokemon ever: it hugs people to death. god what a cool pokemon if it shattered my spine i would probably just say 'ok'

5. Floette

THIS IS MY WHITE WHALE, DUDE. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE SUPER POWERED X/Y MAIN STORY VERSION OF THIS THING BEING CODED INTO THE GAME AS AN EVENT POKEMON AND THEN GAMEFREAK NEVER RELEASED IT. despite my bitterness i love floette whenever i see it. one of the quiet joys of scarlet/violet was seeing this tiny thing chilling out in the wild. to me its face is like The representation of happiness. i have no idea why i love it so much but i'm just happy whenever i see it

4. Suicune

when i was little i was obsessed with this thing. i remember playing pokemon silver and being captivated by it. then i was THRILLED that of all pokemon they could pick they made it the mascot for crystal. when i went on road trips as a kid i would imagine this thing running alongside the car and had all sorts of mental AMVs with it. now that i am an adult and have had time to reflect on suicune, however, i have come to realize something: suicune is actually the coolest fucking thing ever and i was so fucking right all along about this

3. Hisuian Typhlosion

i loved typhlosion as a kid, and most of my attachment to the original one is probably nostalgia related. however, like hisuian zoroark, this is one of those designs that just genuinely improves on the original in every way. i have NO idea why they chose to glam up typhlosion so much in legends arceus but i am so glad they did. adding Ghost typing is such a strange concept on paper but they executed it SO well. i love its dopey little look. what a gem of a design to find so recently in pokemon's lifespan.

2. Alolan Raichu

the original Raichu has always lived in Pikachu's shadow-- it has a cool enough design, but no one is ever going to pay attention to it when it's prevo is literally the world famous series mascot. so i am THRILLED with what a great design Alolan Raichu has. it's so fucking cute, it looks unique while still being obviously tied to the original. i love that it looks like a pancake. i love adding Psychic type to it -- like with Hisuian Typhlosion, an odd idea in concept that works perfectly. i love that it surfs on its adorable, giant tail. GOD i love alolan raichu it is such a good pokemon

Flygon

i love flygon, it's a sand dragonfly that evolves from the world's most adorable antlion. this is an instant pick for my team in every game it's in. i love its dragonfly eyes doubling as sand goggles. flygon is so cool you can make the argument for Dragon/Ground/Bug triple typing, but Gamefreak are fucking cowards and will never do that. it is because they are afraid of what flygon would do with this power. YAY FLYGON

[luescris]

Okay. *inhales and claps hands together* I just got done finally catching up on things. Spoilers under the cut. :)

my thoughts. Are ALL over the place right now. I have words do describe how absolutely gobsmacked I am, but don't have a planned way to put everything so bare with me. So with that said.

*jumping up and down on my chair* dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons

So many things about dragons holy shit you guys holy shit. Can I say how absolutely GORGEOUS the two teacher dragon designs are like on god?? I forget their names but the purple one is so freaking gorgeous and the black one. Is so complicated.

Like in general everything about this season just absolutely screams to me anime like. dude??? When they showed the Five in their prison thing??? That was some freaking anime shit right there. Literally had like flashbacks to that one dangerous group in Naruto that had nine people in it but this was five but s t i l l

There were so many shots where I wanted to take screenshots because oh my god they were so pretty but Netflix doesn't allow that (fuck Netflix for that personally) but dude the Fighting too?? The animation and lighting and lore and story building and ho ug h/pos

Also holy shit I'm so glad that Jay isn't being portrayed as hiding from the others so he doesn't have to do his job like I feared he genuinely forgot and that's so sad because Nya misses the love of her life (SHE ACTIVELY CALLS HIM THAT TOO AAAAA) and the fact that Lloyd got panic attacks??? And those visions??? And holy shit Kai???????

The amount of dragon lore we are FINALLY getting is so much and so sudden it's hurting my brain but I am not at all complaining right now this was the level of story telling that I absolutely adore it's so full of stuff and it's a goddamned lego show. Is it just me or did they seriously up the anti after Monkie Kid cuz you guys I can't I just can't/pos

Never expected Bonzel to be important but I'm not complaining. Cole has a boyfriend finally. The fucking. Council of the Source Dragons or whatever hovering over Lloyd like that oh man oh boy

And the reveal that Roz (Rahz??) and his "master" is only doing this just for some kinda tournament they keep loosing against the Source Dragons?? Talk about a whole new level of petty what the hell dawg that's. Kind of a little hilarious even ngl

Dude I can't wait for more I literally can't wait I'm vibrating so hard right now and still have endless questions this could go anywhere

I was legit glued to the screen the entire time I was watching like on the edge of my seat the whole time, I thought things would get worse or something but it was just all so intense

And also where the hell is Wu is he actually dead this time??? Is that his ghost????? And where in the world is Pixal??? Zane misses his gf :(((

[scarlet97531]

⭕️❗️CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW A BOOK SERIES FOR NINE YEAR OLDS LITERALLY STARTS WITH GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND DOES NOT GET BETTER??????

((General warning for graphic depictions of violence, lots of caps lock, and some swearing sprinkled in for fun for the rest of this post, also I don’t hate WoF, I love WoF, but I also think it’s batshit insane and needs to be addressed (in a pretty unserious way)))

The fucking prologue.

HELLO??? AM I CRAZY FOR THINKING THIS IS A BIT MUCH FOR THE PROLOGUE OF A CHILDREN’S BOOK???

This shot was the gateway drug for us istg. This fucking book series got is so hooked on fictional violence man 😭

We were drawing detailed dragon gore as fanart, looking at detailed gore that other people had drawn as fanart?

Seriously am I crazy????? This is the second main character killing her father to prove a point?????????

This is what we get for an explanation for where the first main character came from? His backstory is literally that his mom sold him for some cows??????????????????? WTF

Also just mudwing society in general is. It seems. Pretty weird. Like really weird.

“As the [human] shrieked again, she bent down and bit off its head.

“Blech,” she said, spitting it out again immediately. The head bounced across the grass as the body slowly toppled over, blood pouring out of it’s neck.”

UM?? OKAY!!

“She scored her talons along his wing, ripping open the scars”

“She shook Dune lightly, as if she were shaking the fluff off a dead pigeon. He clawed at her talons, his eyes bulging. “I mean, what use is a crippled dragon who cannot fly? I’m surprised you haven’t killed yourself already, SandWing. But I can take care of that for you.”

DAMN????

“No!” Sunny screamed, leaping at them.

But it was too late. With a chilling crack, Queen Scarlet snapped Dune’s neck and dropped his body on the stone floor.

“Dune!” Sunny howled. She squirmed past Scarlet and crouched beside him, shaking him with her front talons. His mangled wing flopped, his scales scraped against the rocks. His black eyes were empty. “Dune, wake up!””

HOLY SHIT???? WHY WAS THIS NECESSARY FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND THIS IS JUST SOME OF THE FIRST BOOK, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LEGENDS OF DARKSTALKER MAN THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY

THIS IS BEING SOLD FOR NINE YEAR OLDS

THIS COULD VERY WELL BE A CHILD’S FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DEATH

WHAT WAS TUI THINKING???????????

LIKE ACTUALLY WHAT????

Honestly it is so unsurprising we turned out the way we did when this is what we were reading as a kid 😭

Literally our primary caretaker is named after Scarlet. The same scarlet in those quotes earlier. Like this shit is so in our brain and has been since we were twelve.

This shit. Is. Crazy.

And then every time I try to point out flaws In the writing or the plot ppl tell me “oh it’s not that deep it’s just a children’s book it’s not a big deal” LIKE. FUCKING. HELL IT IS.

ABSOLUTELY NOT. NO FUCKING WAY.

I am completely convinced that if we had never read these books our gorey pseudo memories would not be HALF as detailed and disturbingly accurate as they are now. Like seriously we did so well in anatomy classes because of this. Maybe that’s mostly the autism but i we never would have been so interested in anatomy if we weren’t trying to figure out how to draw anatomically accurate dragon disembowelment because of these damn books 😭

Anyways all this said I still fucking love wings of fire and I’m thinking of bringing back that thing where I draw cute cartoony dragons dying horribly :3

If anyone has horror stories about growing up reading wings of fire I want to hear them

WAIT ONE LAST THING- I forgot to mention the icewing massacre, attempted genocide, and general dragon racism….. hmmmm a topic for another time perhaps

[kintatsujo]

something I've been thinking about on and off with regards to Legend of Zelda is the ways in which it gets fantasy religion very right, despite the fact that it kind of started as "we don't understand Christianity" and careened into "let's throw in what we're familiar with and make it something of its own"

in fact, perhaps it gets its fantasy religion right in the ways that it does BECAUSE this is how it started

and the core root of what Zelda gets right about it is...

Hylia and the Three Goddesses don't have fixed character designs.

Think about it. Your average jrpg, you're almost certainly fighting God at some point, and he almost certainly has a specific character design because of course he does, and a LOT of fantasy settings just use that same basic character design throughout all the iconography

but how do you always know it's Jesus in Christian art? He's every skintone a man can have, and while most White Jesuses (Jesii??) look like Cesare Borgia I don't have to be told when a picture of a Black man is meant to be Christ.

Or how do you know it's a particular polytheistic god, or a character from a folk tale, or whatever?

How do you always know it's Hatsune Miku?

And the answer is pretty easy, right?

It's because of their symbols.

So in Zelda, we see a winged woman with her hands clasped, perhaps holding a sword, perhaps wearing a winged crown or headdress or a crown of light, we know that's meant to be Hylia.

And when the Three Goddesses show up, the Triforce symbol is usually involved, or we see spheres or indistinct figures of gold rising upward, light trailing behind them, or we see three feminine figures dancing together, or we see their individual sigils, that sort of thing.

And then there's even the Heroines from botw/totk, who are all depicted with the same form and figure but who each have their own symbol.

And another thing is that MUSIC is very important to the way the goddesses come up; Zelda has her own song and Hylia's song is based on it. The dragonsong of botw and the way it distorts when one of the holy dragons is hurt. The songs Link has to play for puzzles, the holy songs that are the whole key to things.

Zelda as a franchise in general just really understands how much music is part of people, and it especially shines when gods enter the picture.

And idk, all things considered, the Hylian/Hyrulean religions are sort of scant, they're not usually heavily gone into, but what the games give us, I think they get right, and it's just kind of interesting to me from a worldbuilding perspective.

Especially since for my own fandom shit I'm perfectly happy to throw the whole ass thing into a blender with the concept of schisms and regional faiths and hit puree, lmao

[rachelamberish]

Sooo I’ll go more in depth I think as my days with the game go on, but initial thoughts/impressions mid-way (?) through Act 1:

There’s a lot to like. There’s also a lot that I’ve been critical of from the start, and still am now that I assume I’m pretty deep in Act 1. But I will say, there hits a point in Act 1 where the game just grabs you and it becomes so addicting that a lot of my criticisms (exposition-heavy dialogue, some cameos *cough cough Morrigan* that are fucking awful) don’t feel like that big of a deal next to how much fun I’m having.

It is so fucking weird to associate a Dragon Age game with genuinely enjoyable combat. To literally be *excited* for the next combat encounter rather than just groaning because it’s the chore I have to take care of to get to the next bit of story. Sure, it’s just God of War. But it’s done *really* well.

Some of these voice actors are genuinely incredible. I’m not even going to talk about Gareth David Lloyd here, that’ll probably be its own post (because holy fuck, man, where to begin), but Bellara’s VA has made me so attached to that character so quickly on a level I was so so far from expecting. This is a Bellara stan account now btw

My worries about the music are entirely waylaid. That shit slaps. No notes

Companion stuff in general is *very* good. I see what they’re doing with the structure of the writing, taking their time with each character and story thread, and it really fucking pays off.

There are still PLENTY of times when some of the nuance being robbed from lore-heavy dialogue because they tried to make this game exposition friendly for newcomers is pretty cringe-inducing. I don’t know why they have to look directly at the camera and explain to me what a dwarf is when this is the fourth game and you even put a glossary in the codex this time, for fuck’s sake.

It’s also very weird. Because they’ll do that—they’ll look at you and hold your hand while they explain what a dwarf is—and then the next scene Solas will start talking and suddenly you realize he’s just “etcetera etcetera”-d his way through the reveal that the Golden/Black City is where he imprisoned the Evanuris and attempted to quarantine the Blight. Like it’s implied, like it’s assumed that you’ve just fucking GATHERED that already.

Like I can keep up, but I’m still screaming and pulling my hair out while I do it, I can’t imagine anyone who has played the games but not pored over lore like I have hearing that and not being a bit thrown.

And as a final note because this is getting long — BECAUSE OF SOME SHIT I CAME ACROSS IN GAME LITERALLY THIRTY MINUTES AGO i am HOLDING my criticisms about how much I miss the presence of my decisions from past games. For now, that’s a wait-and-see criticism. Except for Morrigan’s cameo. That shit still sucks. Sorry.

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ how the boxers sleep + what they wear ☆

i made this for ref to future references to any writing i might make + it was fun thinking about this, enjoy my less propaganda filled screaming

Glass Joe

- a sleepcap with the robe thingy

- seriously, look at him and tell me he wouldnt wear the honkmimimi fit

- doesnt snore thankfully, makes up for that by speaking in his sleep and spinning around the bed like hell

- he'll go to sleep on his back and end up waking up using the blanket as a pillow while on the edge of the bed, facedown

- if you're asleep next to him, expect suprisingly strong kicks that makes dragon chan jealous

Disco Kid

- random pajamas, if its comfy, he shall wear it

- still as a corpse in his sleep + facedown

- sometimes sings in his sleep and its both terrifying and hilarious

-imagine trying to sleep and you just hear the intro to bad romance

Von Kaiser

- white T-shirt + black shorts, bland ass fit

- snores but not THAT much

- has severe insomnia so if you see him asleep, dont wake him up because 90% of the time its because he passed out

- doesnt spin like Joe but doesnt stay still either, just some slight turning

Piston Hondo

- has a whole lot of pajamas, ends up with pajama pants + some bland shirt of any kind

- no snoring, silent

- sleeps facedown, still alive somehow

- so still you might think hes dead

- mumbles in his sleep because holy shit we cant have one normal person who sleeps normally

King Hippo

- shorts, thats it

- snores like a broken car engine

- also spins like hell

- random mumbling 90% of the time

- probably ends up crushing someone in his sleep

Great Tiger

- sleeping mask with any kinds of pants + shirts

-slight snoring, not a AGHHHHHGHHNNBGGG but not complete silence either

- sometimes clones himself in his sleep, especially when hes worried about something he forgot to do/needs to do, its his version of sleepwalking, makes said clones do work

- laying in bed but he forgot to turn off the kettle? No worries, he'll send a clone for that

- also spins like a rotisserie chicken in his sleep

- has weird ass dreams every night, he woke up in a cold sweat because he had a dream about his clones refusing to work for him & overthrowing him somehow

- pillow stealer, enjoy your neck pain, fucker

Don Flamenco

- fancy robe + sleep mask

- quiet sleeper

- can and will grab onto anything when hes asleep & hug it and hold on for dear life

- you sleep with your arms stretched? Enjoy having your arm used as a personal pillow

- carmen hates sleeping next to him for that (and totally nothing else)

Bear Hugger

- some t shirt from Facebook with those auto generated quotes like "NEVER MESS WITH A LUMBERJACK WHO LIKES SEA SHANTIES & RAW FISH AND WAS BORN IN NOVEMBER!!" plus some pants he doesnt use anymore, this includes jeans of any kind

- snores like hell also, so loud you might need earplugs

- speaks in his sleep,he sometimes sleepwalks with his eyes open and it terrifies everyone

- its really random stuff too, usually related to whatever weird dream hes having

- it feels like when youre in a sleep over and someone keeps whispering weird shit thats so funny for some reason

- the "i like raw fish" quote comes from his sleeptalking too

Aran Ryan

- weirdest pajamas ever, nothing is matching, nothing fits together, his pajamas takes years off your lifespan

- speaks in his sleep, its always terrifying

- some of his fabulous speak talking quotes includes "the fog is coming" and "war"

- he wake up in the weirdest positions ever, he'll go to sleep on his side and when he wakes up hes on the floor

- spins in his sleep, both the y axis and x axis this time

Bald Bull

- tank top + pajama pants, classic dad fit

- loudest snorer ever, sounds like a nuclear siren

- sleeps with all his limbs stretched out, looks oddly similiar to family guy death pose

- sometimes ends up slightly headbutting people in his sleep, especially when hes having a dream that personally pisses him off, Just a slight nudge thankfully unlike joes organ-breaker combo meal over here

- ends up hugging his pillow when hes asleep

Soda Popinski

- any random combo of everything mentioned above, can and will wear jeans in his sleep

- suprisingly still when hes asleep

- no snoring too somehow

- sleepwalks a LOT, causing him to wake up in odd places, either on the floor or in a bathtub

- needs someone to check up on him whenever hes sleepwalking

Super Macho Man

- his own merch, no contest

- snorts in his sleep instead of snoring somehow??

- also stretched out like a starfish

- laughs in his sleep and its TERRIFYING.

- Blanket hog

Mr Sandman

- bland ass fit, either a tank top & shorts or anything with pajama pants, no jeans because hes sane like that

-oddly quiet, cant even hear him breathing

-sleeps face down & still

- is he dead or just asleep? Find out in the morning!

- no extra movement, at all

- literal statue

[envymeshi]

Holy shit I just realised that dungeon meshi would lend itself really well to a sci-fi setting, too. All the different types of humans look different and have different life spans because theyre adapted to different planets (likely through bioengineering, which im kinda using as a stand-in for magic.) Instead of eating iconic fantasy RPG monsters, it'd be about eating iconic alien lifeforms (The Red Dragon would probably be one of those Giant Sand Worms that are incredibly common in sci-fi) I'm not sure what the stand-in for the dungeon would be. Perhaps humans haven't yet reached travel between solar systems, but every so often wormholes will pop up to places with unexplainably odd physics? I'm not sure what the demon would be though. I mean, in this context, I suppose science itself would represent the limitless potential to fulfill our own desires, but like. I don't wanna have weird anti-science undertones by having science represent the antagonist?!?!? At the same time, I don't want to fall back into magic (not that sci-fi and magic together don't work, but I think it'd be interesting to take full advantage of the science) EDIT: THE LION CAN JUST BE SOMETHING THAT GENERATES LIMITLESS ENERGY. THE LION CAN BE SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE A BLACK HOLE OR SOMETHING LOL. that works Just think of bioengineered chimera Falin <3 Frankenstein's monster kinda gal <3<3<3. Also You can't tell me Laios wouldn't be super excited to explain how stuff like the Alien's Alien and The Thing reproduce 💀 Also put Marcille in a lab coat NOW!!!!

[howlingday]

The Salem Song

Salem: Oh, Zwei~! I heard there's a song about me, and I want to hear it!

Zwei: Are... Are you sure?

Salem: Zwei, put the song on!

Zwei: It's... It's not very nice.

Salem: Zwei, put it on!

Zwei: Alright. (Presses scroll)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Music plays to the musical tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're a mean one, Ms. Salem~.

Salem: That's me~.

You're a fugly piece of shit~!

Salem: What?

You bring bendy straws to bathrooms 'cause you like the taste of piss, Ms. Saleeeeem~!

Salem: No. No, I- No, I don't.

I wouldn't suck your tits if they were dipped in honey and could cure cancer.

Salem: Monty Oum! Who wrote this?! Who wrote this song, Zwei?!

ALSO YOU HAVE NO TIIIIIITS~!

Salem: Zwei, stop the song.

Zwei: I can't.

Salem: What do you mean you can't?

Zwei: It's broken.

Salem: What's broken?!

Zwei: I dunno, it's jammed.

Salem: What do you- Fine! Can you at least turn it down?

Zwei: I can't. I... I'm a dog.

Salem: ZWEI!

You're a dipshit, Ms. Salem~.

Salem: (Sighs) Okay?

Even babies want you dead~!

Salem: ...Wow.

You've never bring home a man 'cause you're scared you'll wet the bed, Ms. Saleeeeeeem~!

Salem: I wish they weren't so good at rhyming.

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:

BITCH!

Salem: I'm not.

DUMPSTER!

BITCH!

Salem: No, no, no, this is not how it goes! Like, I knew they changed it, but I thought it would be like a key change, or maybe a guitar solo! But this is... This is just degrading. This hurts.

Zwei: It's pretty detailed, yeah.

Salem: What happened to the Beowolf part? I actually liked that part! It was kinda funny!

Zwei: It was a Beringel.

Salem: No, it was a Beowolf!

Zwei: It was a Beringel.

Salem: Was it a Beringel?

Zwei: Yeah, "Two Left Foot Beringel".

Salem: Oh.

You're poor, Ms. Salem~!

Salem: Didn't leave a stone unturned.

You can't afford the bus~!

Salem: Lower middle class, maybe!

You're deathly allergic to treenuts, and your exact address is thus,

Ms. Saleeeeeeem~!

Salem: What? Nonono! I-!

1482 Black Dragon Island Blvd.

Salem: Holy shit...

Remnant, Nevada.

Salem: That's my address! Wh-What are you gonna do?!

I MAILED YOUR BITCH-ASS A BAG OF NUUUUUUUUTS~!

Salem: This is a song that kids sing? Every year, they sing this same song around the Non-Descript Winter Holiday decorations?

Zwei: Yeah

Salem: A song that says "bitch"?! It has said "bitch" three times!

Zwei: Yeah, that's... That's too much.

Salem: They know I saved humanity, right?! Like, at the end of the series, I saved them all! I'm a good guy now! I pay my taxes! I go to church! (Epic solo) Oh, there is a guitar solo. ...Okay, that actually is a really good solo.

Zwei: Yeah.

Salem: Just a shame about the rest of the song.

It's not just that you are inbred~!

Salem: I'm fucked.

Miss Salem~!

Salem: This feels bad...

You don't know how to read~!

Salem: This feels really bad...

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TO SUCK DOWN PEE, MS. SALEEEM~!

Salem: ...

According to an anonymous poll, with a sample size of more than three thousand people of Remnant who are asked to rank you on a scale from one to a hundred...

Zwei: ...Ms. Salem?

Salem: (Gone from her seat)

...based on variant traits such as likeablility, general odor, and your physical attractiveness...

Salem: (Standing over a cliff, Music muffled)

...THE HIGHEST NUMBER WE GOT WAS THREEEEEE~!

Zwei: What's wrong, Ms. Salem?

Salem: ...You ever feel like no matter how hard you try, people will always see you as your past self. Just as this one thing. This one, unchangeable thing.

Zwei: ...Like a dog?

Salem: (Sighs) I guess no matter what I do, I'll always be this black, white, and red monster.

Zwei: You're red?

Salem: Yeah, I'm red.

Zwei: Oh. I always thought you were gray.

Salem: You didn't know I was red, too?

Zwei: No. Dog.

Salem: (Smiles) That's right.

Zwei: ...I love you, Ms. Salem.

Salem: (Pets Zwei) I love you, too, Zwei.

Zwei: Happy Non-Descript Winter Holiday.

Salem: Happy Non-Descript Winter Holiday.

[infraaa]

Soo how we feeling about vampire!Longan x reader..?

『longan has officially taken over.』

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘

vampire!longan dragon cookie x gn!reader— imagine!

baker’s notes // I hate yall bastas (affectionate ofc) also i was listening to one of Melanie Martinez’s unreleased tracks during this and holy shit. 🥴. I’ll link it.

tw // vampirism, blood and gore, not to be assoc. w/canon, primal play (hunter + prey mechanic,) implied cannibalism

【cw!】 I don’t mean for this to be smut, but if you’ve seen anime like vampire knight hellsing or diabolik lovers, and not even just those there’s other vampire anime out there, you’d know that vampire bites and feeding in general has a close link to sex, just a little heads up that it may be extremely suggestive.

PLEASE TAKE CAUTION UNDER THE CUT

Imagine with me… close your eyes and lend me your brain.

Longan is probably one of those most feared creatures to roam earthbread. No, there isn’t a probability there— they are the most feared thing to roam earthbread. Everything about them is utterly terrorizing, with but a cold golden glance, one could be permanently petrified, encased in a stone tomb for the rest of their lives. Yet something is amiss about this mysterious creature… they aren’t just a dragon. Their pearlescent white fangs are a tad bit longer, slimmer, and sharper than most dragons. They retain the same body temperature yet lack heat. They’re a lot more active in the night than they used to be. And when their retainer, Snake Fruit Cookie, would slither around the door to the downstairs corridor that would lead into a storm bunker, there would always be a foul odor emanating from the other side of the door… as well as instead of the usual sociopathic aura they would carry… it is replaced with a rather… charming psychopathic demeanor.

Rarely do they venture out of their palace— they just can’t be bothered. Instead they send out their psychic dragon eyes to do their hunting for them. On one of your nightly outings does one catch a glimpse of you walking and it starts to pester you. It scares you, (because who wouldn’t get startled by a floating disembodied eyeball?) and it makes you tumble over on the ground, cutting yourself on something— could be glass, a tree branch, a rock, whatever. The dragon eye sees a bit of blood on you and… strangely floats over to wipe the blood away, garnering it on its golden shell casing. Floating off in a frenzy do they return to the Ivory Palace. The dragon flicks some of the blood off of the case of the floating dragon eye and suck it off their thumb.

They’ve just found their next meal..

Imagine… Longan finally venturing out to get you, using the memory of how your blood smells. Floating closer to you through a lush wood, a grove, the smell of petrichor and wild musk tearing through them. Golden eyes laden in a sea of black glow through thick platinum lashes mirroring the golden hickory eyeshadow on their eyelids— shining like glittering stars. They catch you. Your pure frame being defiled by such a heavy gaze through your window. Locking your doors, you rush and hide in your cozy woodland cottage, but to your surprise, that doesn’t stop the hungry dragon. As tenacious as the hinges of your doors creaking off with a loud crack, and your door collapsing with a rough thud. The soft thumper of heels could be heard on your floors as they slowly crept through the house, stopping every so often, and then moving on, seemingly growing closer in volume.

“Where are you, weak little pet..?”

That voice… so familiar… you knew it from the tales… but never suspected them to be real.

“Reveal yourself to me, weak pet.”

“It wants to eat me…”

You had heard of the disappearances around your hometown, hence why you moved away into the woods. You crawled over to a pistol you had and armed yourself with it as you sat and shook on the other side of your bed frame, away from the view of the door.

The dragon wasn’t afraid to consume their victims, or at least parts of them, not just drinking their blood like normal vampiric beings. You grew more worried as time elapsed, and they still hadn’t left. You heard a few doors by yours, the laundry room door and restroom door, break off the wall and fall loudly on the floor. Your breathing shuddered a bit too loudly, which made them stop and walk towards your door, stammering at the doorknob.

“I know you are in there, pet. I hear you breathing.”

Hugging the rifle to your chest you finally heard the doorknob break, the deadbolt failing. Gracefully they walked into the room, seeing you crouch. You heard them. They were walking now towards your bed, crawling up on the mattress like an animal before positioning right above your trembling form. And then…

Imagine something yank at the back of your top, pulling and dragging you up roughly on the bed. Dragging you further by the sleeve of your top they straddled you and looked down at you. Like a giant they are… and it’s captivating…

However, they say nothing to you. Too shocked to move you lay there, your body cold on your bed as you trembled underneath the large dragon. Imagine them leaning down directly over the shell of your ear and taking a breath before lowering ever so slightly to begin tasting your skin, your soft, lukewarm skin mingling with their razor sharp teeth and cold lips. Cradling you in their arms, they force your back to arch against your now corrupted mattress, exposing your décolletage. With low decorum did they lick up from your collarbone to the nape of your neck, making you shudder and whine.

“Please… no…”

Trying to keep yourself quiet but they snatch the hand that creeps to your mouth to shield your remaining dignity. They manhandle you to their ease to feed, often bringing parts of you closer to them and their large stature. After a while the pain from their fangs becomes almost dizzying— almost turning into a state of pleasure you dare call it. As you felt the blood in your body rush up to where Longan had bitten you, it gushed like a hot geyser— causing them to roughly detach and watch it flow.

“It truly is amusing… how you behave, weakling.”

You look at them with teary eyes and a reddened face, almost taunting them in arousal. They lick at their fangs, cleaning them down.

“You should just let me suck you dry right here.”

[bluehairlaunch]

7 Dragon Ball Villains that could've carried their own arc

Honorable mention, Sorbet. So I enjoy Frieza as much as the next guy, but his wacky and colorful Frieza Force is what firmly places the Namek Saga over the Cell Saga in my mind. Like they're all such memorable characters that I even like Cui ffs. However, let's be real, none of these guys could carry their own arc. At their heart, they're all followers (all except good ol' Geets). Maybe before their recruitment they had more ambition and determination, but when faced with Frieza's insurmountable power, they ultimately all bent over and bowed.

Sorbet is an odd example, because he is definitely a follower as well, although when the power vacuum that is Frieza and King Cold's death opened up, he didn't turn away. He instead took charge and kept the Planet Trade Organization afloat for DECADES, despite being a koala-man with a power level that I'm sure rivals Appule at best.

The only reason he's not on the list proper is because when we finally get to see Sorbet in action, he's trying to pass the torch back to Frieza. He still gets major points tho for leading as long as he did

Spoilers: no one else from Super is on this list, even though a filler character is

Monster Beast Giran

Look, I'm not saying Giran could've carried his own saga, but if Dragon Ball had been written by a more traditional shonen mangaka instead of a gag artist, he probably would've been the Big Bad of the 21st World Martial Arts Tournament. And yes, I'm using his added characterization from filler scenes in the anime to make my point.

A milk drinking brute with a voracious appetite and a deep-seated hatred of heroes, this absolute unit was unfortunately no match for Goku in canon, but his hulking appearance and quirky personality (at least in the anime) always stuck out to me. In my generic re-write of this arc, a majorly buffed Giran faces Jackie Chun instead, and defeats him. He then faces and almost defeats Goku in the final, but Goku transforms into a real monster beast for the win, and that's that

Yea I won't be trying to retell the story for the rest of these entries

Raditz

It says a lot about the quality of Toriyama's villains that Goku's evil brother from space is a mere speed bump on the road to the real top dog of the Saiyan Saga. This dude is so fucking sexy and such a piece of shit that I can't help but imagine what he could've gotten himself into if only he had more screentime

Staff Officer Black

I know Toriyama loves subverting expectations and that's one of the things I so greatly enjoy about Dragon Ball, but c'mon. Commander Black of the Black Ribbon Army would've been... so so sooo cool. The dude's a true believer, actually loyal to his men, and idk what Red did to become the leader over him, but he seems to have been the real brains behind the operation. Dragon Ball Online brought back Commander Red as a cyborg and all I'm asking is why not Staff Officer Black instead?

Turles

Aight so Tree of Might isn't the greatest movie, I'd even say it's mid at best, but it also has amazing ideas. The Tree of Might? Neat, inspired, scary, and also drawn from Journey to the West lore. Turles? Sexy tan Goku, what's not to like? His Crusher Corps? Don't get me started on his Crusher Corps, because they all have their own story, which was included in extraneous material, but not the movie itself.

Amond, the big guy? Yea he was an intergalactic criminal that was arrested by the Galactic Patrol until he was freed by Turles. Daiz was the Prince of the Pukimpa Dynasty that led his planet's army against Turles, but was defeated, then recruited for fighting so bravely. Cacao was a cyborg built to fight an interstellar war before he fucked off to become a bounty hunter and eventually join the Crusher Corps. Rasin and Lakasei were fossils resurrected by Turles using extract from the Tree of Might.

Fuck, Turles himself is a low-class Saiyan warrior that somehow found or stole the holy Seeds of Might, which were reserved for Kai. When I was a kid my older brother told me (read, lied to me lol) that Saiyans were all test tube babies grown from different strains and that's the difference between low medium and elite saiyans and why he and Goku are almost identical. Like, that's not true, but there's a lotta fleshing out you could do with Turles to make him and his potential saga more compelling

Demon King Dabura

Ruler of a shadowy demon realm for thousands of years with a power level that equals Perfect Cell, Demon King Dabura is also... the bitch of a tiny bitchy wizard? Yup, that's Toriyama all right.

So lemme start by saying that this guy gets so little credit he's not even in Fighterz, despite having a cool sword and a huge canon moveset. He also looks... well tbh, he doesn't look as awesome to adult me as he did to kid me, but he's still neat looking. I like his horns and his funky glamrock outfit. He also probably had his own Dabura Force filled with edgy evul henchmen (including Shula from that filler episode, who I'm pretty sure inspired Dabura's creation) that could've easily filled an entire saga.

It says a lot that Raditz isn't the lead of his saga, but imo it says way more that Toriyama created an entire evil universe opposite the regular universe ruled over by this baritone Satan and he's just a footnote. It also says a lot about Dragon Ball Heroes that instead of trying it's own thing, it digs up Toriyama's fossilized spittle and creates Mira, Towa, and Kabuto from Naruto.

Mercenary Tao Pai Pai

Ok so I'm biased, because this flamboyant bastard is easily one of my favorite villains, and that's including everything, not just Dragon Ball or comics. He oozes so much style that I'm not even sure how you could stretch him out into an entire arc, but it doesn't matter, because he could make it work. The dude can make watching someone else shop for clothes compelling ffs, so as far as I'm concerned, Tao could've been the villain for the whole of Dragon Ball and it'd be just or almost as good as what we actually got

His shirt says Kill You! he's seriously the best don't @ me

Dr. Gero

Mustache

Yes, I know he was supposed to be the Big Bad, but Toriyama's former editor didn't think an old man in baggy pants and a fat clown could carry their own arc, but they're wrong damn it! Just look at him

[imustbenuts]

Pokémeshi: in celebration of me finally getting the right stats rolled on Reshiram, how would you cook the gen 5 box legends

holy shit??? congrats! cant imagine how long that must have taken you but im impressed!!

gen 5 box legends refer to reshiram and zekrom, yeah?

one's a dragon fire type and ones a dragon electric type

both are btw lowkey one of my top favourite legendaries bc of how their designs and spritework are, and how bomb BW was. anyway.

for reshiram, they look a little soft and flamey. their butt tail looks dangerous so the first order of business is to chop that away. since reshiram is the yang that represents all things sunny and warm and motherly, im gonna turn them into a oyako-don >:3 since you know. they look almost like one of those fancy white chicken.

behold, a reshiram:

but who's the child? ez. theres no child. remember their chopped off butt? that thing must be full of gooey jet fuel thats similar in consistency to egg yolk so we're good, its covered, and the best thing is it probably is warm enough to self cook! reshiram cooks themself with enough of their butt juice here, there isnt an issue at all!

so extract reshiram's warm hot butt juice, toss their meat in and cook with that same butt juice. the most eco friendly cooking method B)

reshiram oshiri jiru don, thats what its actually gonna be! yeehaw!!

for zekrom, they're a dragon electric type.

just like with reshiram, zekrom is also id imagine a type of chicken but with tougher meat. and i am happy to report such a chicken exists in the real world and ive eaten it before.

behold. a zekrom (actually ayam cemani):

like our friend here, zekrom is likely to have black looking meat on the inside, like a metal as fuck kinda creature, and so it falls upon us to serve zekrom in the most metal as fuck kinda way.

with zekrom, their butt tail is a generator. an electricity generator. so in the name of green energy, we are going to chop off that butt generator, hook up and have it support a live metal concert along with a stove. because what im gonna make today is something called the Black Bone Chicken Soup:

it is very simple. toss zekrom into a big pot, toss in some dates and herbs and berries, cook that with its own butt generator in a slow cooker. thats it!

and it would be fitting too, bc reshiram embodies truth while zekrom embodies ideals . to bear yourself into ones own unavoidable hot butt juice is the peak of truth for reshiram, and to be mistaken for some different species of idealistic animal when youre just a chicken is fitting for zekrom.

truth can set your stomach free from hunger for about 6 hours, and ideal can set your taste buds happy and clear for about 6 hours

and an ice cold drink on top of those, priceless 👍just remember to take the frozen kyurem out to defrost and eat it like regular grilled chicken too.