#AND THE BLACK DRAGON IN GENERAL HOLY SHIT

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

Okay. I know the general consensus is not this, but if Catelyn had been told the truth about Jon from the get go, she would have treated him better. Relatively. Like, she wouldn't have gave him shit for being a bastard or been ice queen bitch stepmother to him, but uh. there would have been other issues. Just think about how having Catelyn aboard the hide-Jon-train would go for one second. For one second. Okay? We are talking about Catelyn fucking Stark nee Tully. And we are also talking about Catelyn fucking Stark nee Tully before the other four kids came along. Just her baby Robb and Ned and Ned's nephew. (and if you don't think that Ned saving Jon from under Robert's nose on a promise to his sister wouldn't make I-released-the- king-slayer-to-bring-back-my-daughters-Catelyn fall so hard in love with him her head is still ringing fifteen years later you are LYING to yourselves) So think mother gothel. She would have micromanaged the shit out of Jon's life and upbringing. Ned is pretty lax so as security measures go in terms of Jon, but Cat? Winterfell would get turned into FBI headquarters. Vibe checks at the door and retina scanners and Jon and Robb have a praetorian guard on their cradles. Yeah she'd be cool to Jon in public as he grows but in private she's frantically brushing his hair every night looking for whites. Holding him up to the light to check for hints of purple in his eyes. As they get older she namedrops bastard a lot but secretly actively fosters a relationship between Jon and the other kids because Catelyn-Sansa-will-be-queen-of-the-seven-kingdoms-Stark nee Tully knows about the pact of Ice and Fire and having one of the last Targs bouncing around is tickling the politician in her. That being said she institutes a book ban on Targ history and is always on Ned's ass about them playing dragons. When Arya is gets old enough she makes it a point to put her and Jon next to each other at all times. Jon getting a direwolf are goddammed holy blessing to her. When Robert's dump ass comes to visit she's having a conniption about Jon being recognized and nearly locks his ass in the crypts until he decides of his own free will to sit in the cheap seats before she blows a gasket. She hates the Wall idea because who the Fuck is going to watch this kid as well as she's been doing for the past fifteen years? WHO? If she had found out about Aemon being up there she's have blown up castle black. Jon, who has had to deal with this shit since attaining spatial awareness tries to get Benjen to let him take his night's watch vows at Winterfell's weirwood. Man wants OUT. He can't deaal with tiger mom ass no more. When he comes to visit Bran she slips and says something cryptic and weirdly affectionate and it puts his ass in a tailspin all the way to the Wall.

Like, I know people think it'd go more downhill if she knew about Jon but why? Boring. Uninspired. Booooo. Get fun with it.

[lord-starman-wotton]

my (incredibly messy) list of completed wolfstar fic recs (all on ao3, list to be continued!)

fair warning— i’ve had this list for a long time and i usually just used it for my close friends, so not all of these have descriptions/the author’s names. theres random links, random anecdotes, etc. anyways enjoy!!!

Blackpool Rock by lord_starman_wotton (i had to start out with the self-promo lolll)

presque vu by bizarrestars. i almost hesitate to add this because it’s legitimately devastating. do not read the last two chapters unless it’s the middle of the night and no one will hear your sobbing

text talk

the cadence of part time poets by motswolo (fair warning this is twice the length of war and peace i kid you not)

everlasting love finds a way (one shot)

a brief history of dragons

like real people do (READ IT ANFBSJDJD)

blossoms burn and fume, where our flowers bloom (MY FAV WOLFSTAR FIC LITERALLY EVER)

shorn and scarred and yours

the lab (adorable but there’s a six year age gap which makes me kind of uncomfortable?)

the adventures of captain sirius black and his most excellent dragon padfoot (pirate dragons)

tu es la lune (dead poets society au)

the blood moon sinks (not perfect writing but very cute)

the spy who loved him (adorable, by the same author as the pirate dragons)

the oldest recipe for parsnip soup

ullswater (they go to a music college)

that old black magic

for here you are, standing there, loving me (whether or not you should) (sirius adopts every single order child, sound of music au)

the hut of the mistold (fairytale au)

stealing harry 

bindings, bindings (jily and regulus come back from the dead and break sirius out of azkaban)

a cure for nightmares

with great power comes great responsibility (spider man)

across the hall (another cute text fic)

james potter, remus lupin, sirius black, peter pettigrew, and (pause for the breath) the prisoner of azkaban 

suite nothings: wolfstar edition (they’re college roommates)

wading in waist-high water (great british bake off)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/33021643 (prince of england/first son fic)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/20287849 (another text fic. v cute)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36291976 (THE SECOND BEST FIC IVE EVER READ READ IT ASAPPPP) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47948368 (fake dating, remus and sirius are both single parents)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34659874 (sirius is a ghost haunting rems flat. it’s SO cute)

ten reasons (to go to michigan)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44271820 (figure skating fic. just read it, trust)

dear your holiness

lessen my load

you’re my kaleidoscope

happy birthday, you.

when it’s warm again

to all a good night (HOLY SHIT THIS ONES GOT SUCH GOOD SLOW BURN)

the player’s secret

take me as i am (sleep demon sirius. you’re in for a wild ride)

r.j.l reads a self help book

rourke

atyd sirius’s perspective 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34146250

second generation by msalexwp

a bird at your door by moongnome

where there is smoke by moongnome

everything under the sun by moongnome

tis the damn season by moonymoment

labyrinth by moonymoment

starlit left, moonlit right

show me everything i’ve missed

do you believe in fate?

the road not taken

godlight by badhairred

string the sinner by his wings by ludo_ten

of memories and milk thievery by moonymoment (this made me cry i love it)

Archive of Our Ownhttps://archiveofourown.orgAs the Moon Knows the Stars - Chapter 1 - mcdynamite - Harry Potter

Be my time-bomb lover by flora_tyronelle

We'll Make It Out Alive by orphan_account

the boy from beauxbaxtons by haey1

Teeth. - amour_anguis, regularis_vas - Jurassic World Trilogy (Movies) [Archive of Our Own] (jurassic world au. the literary equivalent of pressing on a bruise. it’s so so so so good)

i’ll be home for christmas by msalexwp

dear mr black by msalexwp 

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Shinichiro, stay away from the kids!

(with love)

Okay, first of all, this is not a hating Shinichiro post. I swear it. This is just me having brainrot and thinking in how many times Shin was a questionable example for kids and teens around him and how we seem to forget about it but it's kinda hilarious when you put all of them together (except for Sanzu, that is never funny, my poor lil gremlin 😭)

I know most of this things were because he was also too young, oblivious and reckless. I know that, but it's funny to bully him with affection anyway 🙈

(and in the more serious ones, he was too dissociated and too out of everything, I know that too)

So... Here I go, random Shinichiro moments for all of you!

(big manga spoilers because it's Shinichiro)

Leaving Inupi to look out the shop.

Inupi, who looks like a cute potato here and it's deffinetly too young for it. Canon unpayed intern Inupi, yuhuuu! 💜

Him smoking around bikes all the damn time.

In his shop where Inupi was and could blow out the whole block. But also in his garage, where Draken and Mikey used to watch him fix the bikes. Shin, don't, that's dangerous! (I would say "if you wanna kill yourself do it but don't drag others with you", buuuuuut... Yeah, he did it and everyone got drag on that, so why bother to say it? 😑)

Wharever the fuck this was.

Probably just a prank, but.. Really, Shin? You ran away and left Izana there? I know, I know, you're a dumb teen, but c'mon, think for once! The whole interaction makes me laugh and want to smack Shinichiro in general, to be honest.

Oh...I think the not-so-funny ones are about to start. Here we go!

Leaving the Black Dragons to the traumatized orphan that just went out of juvie.

Yeah, that looks like a great idea, I'm sure nothing wrong will come out of this, lalalalalalala! (Shinichiro and his relationship with delinquency and his siblings should be a lot more explored because holy shit)

(Btw, not even pointing the helmets stuff, nops)

Bringing 8 y/o Mikey to gang meetings.

Like... What the fuck? I'm with Takeomi on this one, are you stupid Shinichiro? What are you thinking? Are you thinking? 😒

Love how BenWaka bully him for it too, that's why I left it here, ngl.

Isn't that just how Haruchiyo is, slashing people for Mikey?

Well, yeah, he is, but he wasn't! He shouldn't! Can't you not pretend this is not concerning for a second? Or... Not settle this mindset on Sanzu because it's gonna have big consequences? 🤦🏻

Talking about his inminent suicide with a 13 y/o.

Okay, I thought A LOT about putting this one, because obviously I'm not judging Shin at all, he was in a really dark place and when you're about to kill yourself you can't think clearly. It's just that this exchange... Breaks me. And Haruchiyo is just a kid, this is so not fair for him either 😭

(Sanos, start treating the Akashis like people with feelings that also matter for once, please)

You can still be his friend even if he scarred you for life!

Okay, Shin, I know you're a mix of biased and dissociated but... Really? Please, stop creating Sanzu, stop iiiiit! Let Haruchiyo alone, don't do this! Also... "Right now"? So you're saying he should forgive Mikey but not right now? Is that, Shincihiro? 😒

Trauma dumping to 13 y/o Haruchiyo. Shhh, keep the secret, bye!

Did I say Shinichiro created Sanzu? Yes? I'll say it again, I don't care. Again, I know he was dissociating and all, but, but... It's fine to kill people for Mikey mindset is now installed successfully on Haruchiyo's brain, yuhuuu! 😭

The amount of total disregard for Haruchiyo's mental health here is too much and should be a crime. The "keep the secret" part don't make it better. Specially, specially, when Shinichiro himself is not going to keep it, he's about to say everything to Wakasa. But Haru? Shhh, you should keep the secret, I'm sure this is not a huge burden for a teenager that suddenly have two set of memories!

(Well, not everything, he probably forgot to tell Waka about Haruchiyo remembering it, because in the final battle it didn't look like Sanzu ever talked about it with Wakasa and I wanna think they would if he knew... Look, another Sano forgetting about Sanzu, yuhu! 😑)

(Shin, with all my love, but I hate you for this one even if you gave me the best blorbo to torture on my fics that I ever had)

I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, random kid that I don't even know the name! 👀

YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS ONE SHINICHIRO! I wish you remembered in the final timeline because you owe Takemitchy the biggest freaking apology of all your life! What the hell? Go, apologize with Michi now!

Yes, he was able to handle it and to be traumatized infinite times in the way, but that's not the point! Use you brain for once Shin, why are you giving the burden to a kid? Why? What is wrong with you? (so many things actually xD)

But, for real, this sentence is Wakui being hilarious because c'mon, poor Takemichi!

Edit: I didn't put the poorly way Shinichiro handled everything about Izana and Mikey because I consider canon doesn't give us enough info on that. Same with Emma. What happened? Why Izana never met them? I have my hc, of course, but we don't know for sure. So... I can't ramble about how badly he managed that! (Badly, for sure, I just don't know exactly how and how much)

[fangirlingpuggle]

So more thoughts on Jack and Omi alignment swap AU (other posts are here 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5) and if canon and AU crossed over. Sorry this is rambley and long.

So canon monks, Jack, Wuya, Chase and Dojo are all transported to AU while another fight at the temple portal appears and they all fall through only to see a different Jack in temple robes with black coat and goggles on over with Dojo around his neck.

Everyone from canon is just so confused and Swap!Jack is like

Swap!Jack:IT WORKED I told it would work Dojo

Swap!Dojo:I never said it wouldn't work I said you shouldn't do it

Swap!Dojo: God this is just like Dashi

Swap!Jack: Thank you!

Swap!Dojo:NOT A COMPLIMENT!

Everyone confused, even more so when other monks come in and then Wuya of all people who just stares at alternate selves and then takes a deep breath "Jack...The FUCK?"

Swap!Jack explaining about dimensional shifting Wu

Swap!Wuya "Why would you make this?"

Swap!Jack "....to see if I could"

Swap!Wuya "You are the second coming of Dashi what I do to deserve this?"

Swap!Dojo "Other than the trying to take over the world multiple times things"

Swap!Wuya"Ugh loads of people have tried to conquer the world and they don't have to deal with Jack"

Of course Canon Wuya is freaking out over Swap Wuya

Wuya: YOUR XIAOLIN WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU"

Swap!Wuya: Please i'm neutral at most

Wuya:....

Swap!Wuya:That's my story and i'm sticking to it

Omi's asking where alternate him is and the swap monks recognizing him and being like 'WTF how are you a part of the team or even Xiaolin... I mean your dad allowed that?'

Omi just confused he doesn't have parents and all the swap Monks are just looking between Chase and Omi trying to figure out what to say.

Luckily distracted by canon Jack asking Swap!Jack why he's a Xiaolin loser and not an evil boy genius

Swap!Raimundo: Holy shit he's more of a dork then you... I didn't that was possible... no offense man

Swap!Jack:No i'm with you on this one

Cue canon 'jackbots attack' only for dragon of metal Jack to use his powers to rip the Jackbots apart and leave canon Jack staring in despair and How can you do that?Why can't I do that?How??and Swap!Jack gloating (Victory dance and all) 'Oh yeah evil boy genius ha I'm the genius Xiaolin dragon of metal maker of shen gong wu and wrecker of your shit!'

Swap!Raimundo:... Never mind ours is just as dorky

Cue swap Omi and Chase showing up because sensing weird Chi and power and what the fuck has spicier made now? Which leads to canon Chase and Omi staring t the other versions of themselves and Swap!Omi calling Swap!Chase dad.

Canon Omi is trying to process this when Swap!Omi sees him and instantly is so excited and talking at him 'Other version of me? SO cool! How strong are you? What are like? Do you want to fight?'

At this point Swap!Wuya is just like 'Ok how can you send them back'

Swap!Jack: ummmmm

Swap!Wuya:Jack

Swap!Jack:...I mean reversing mirror might work.... or it may make our universe implode...

Swap!Wuya:...

Wuya:Holy shit it is just like Dashi

Swap!Wuya: I KNOW RIGHT

Cue Canonverse hanging around temple and many questions

Kimiko:How do you know all about all these Xiaolin techniques, and all the elemental stuff

Swap!Wuya:... you brats do know I was the previous dragon of earth right?

All canon monks and Jack:WHAT?

Swap!Wuya: Oh fucking hell how much do you know about previous dragons?

All canon monks and Jack:...

Swap!Wuya:... sit down listen up and remind me to write a note for your 'teacher' for when you brats go back.

Also

Monks:So Omi is still dragon of metal but Heylin in this world does that mean Jack is still dragon of metal in ours

Swap!Wuya:Yeah probably, every generation has dragons for all of the 5 elements

Jack:Then why don't I have metal powers!?

Swap!Wuya:Eh sometimes not all dragons powers manifest I guess, normally only 4 do why only 4 monks trained

Jack:...I feel robbed

(Somewhere in both canon and AU Jermaine dragon of wood sneezes)

Anyway after Swap! most of the monks spend time sparring with alternate more chaotic versions of themselves and Jack.

Omi ends up going to Chases Palace, basically kidnapped by Swap!Omi who wanted to fight/play. Of course Chase also goes to see Swap!Chase which leads to a very very tense. Swap!Chase is not happy with the idea of his son growing up at that temple and not being protected, he's also majorly pissed canon Chase let Omi go into the Yin-Yang world. He's upset any version of his little one was even in the same world as Hannibal Roy bean. (In swap world when the yo-yo was revealed he contacted Wuya told her Hannibal was sealed there and general agreement no one goes in there it is one of the Wu that is totally sealed away in the Xiaolin vault not even the chaos gremlin monks go near it)

Swap!Chase is insulting Chase and how he isn't worthy of having Omi as his son, canon Chase is one second from snapping and it being a full on dragon brawl when suddenly canon Omi jumps in and starts squaring up to Swap!Chase defending his Chase. Which leads to Swap!Omi jumping in to defend his dad.

So it's just the 2 versions of Chase watching as the Omi's argue other which Chase is better it's the my dad is better than your dad/my dad could beat up your dad only there dads are alternate versions of the same person.

This is still going on when the others turn up because they ahve a way home and everyone just watching the 2 Omi's argue at each other and look 1 second away from going full on I will destroy you fight. It's then when both Chases just go and scoop them up (With both Omi's looking over their respective Chase's shoulders giving each other death glares).

No one comments or knows how to comment on the fact canon Chase doens't put down Omi even when they get to the temple and the portal to their world appears.Or that Omi is just hugging his neck.

The swap monks are just like 'this is normal for us' and Swap!Wuya just watches them shaking her head "I guess some things are the same in every universe"

Jack:WHY ISN'T ME HAVING COOL METAL POWERS THE SAME?!

Swap!Clay:Hey Jack, isn't the whole reason your boots even work cause you were unknowing;ly using your metal powers on em?

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Clay: So other you does have the powers then

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Kimiko: Think we should tell him that?

All swap Monks:... Nah this is funnier, let him figure it out

Sorry this is long and very dumb.

[bolszaja-miedwedica]

NEW ABOUT ME:

(i do paid readings now! 5$ a reading no matter how many cards :] only 5 spots a day so dm to know if im open) (only paypal)

-godspoused! if you're anti fuck off

-I'm an age regressor but i curse a lot on this blog so age regressors feel free to follow my agere side blog @there-are-sharks-in-my-milk

-i don't discriminate anyone this is a safe space for minorities, poc, microlabels, systems, lgbt people, therians, everyone who is not a hateful jerk

-this blog is a mix of me posting about my deities, stray kids and other stuff i find interesting

-sometimes i vent make sure you're okay with it

blog rules are:

-if my practice looks different than yours and you don't like it you're free to unfollow

- be kind and respectful to me and my friends

to interact with my blog make sure that you aren't:

racist, homophobic, terf, pedo, ableist, anti agere, a nsfw blog (it makes me uncomfortable), generally a hateful human

now the best part:

worshipping:

-Sekhmet

-Holy Mary

-Baba Jaga

-Medusa

-Kali

-Lilith

working with:

Marzanna, Apollo, Dionysus, Hecate, Persephone, Asclepius, Hel, Anat, Death, Satan, Leszy, Cernunnos, Horned God, Helios, Venus, Freyja, Asmodeus, Baphomet archangel Jophiel, Thoth, Fenrir, Dantalion, Buer, Beelzebub, Mut, Bes, Bacchus, Kogkipr (an unknown deity), Proserpina, Cnabetius Mars, Tegid Foel, angel Sariel, Hermanubis, Amun, Deimos and Phobos, Kvasir, Wepwawet, The Dagda, Swarożyc, Lucifer, Begotho (unknown deity), Aphrodite Areia, Stracchus (unknown deity), Ruadan, Somnia, Kek, Cerberus, Hestia, Nyx, Cerridwen, the Morrigan, Parvati, Shiva, Krishna, Vishnu, RadhaRani, Lakshmi, archangel Gabriel, archangel Azrael, Nakir and Munkar, archangel Michael, archangel Israphil, Kiram and Katibun, Somnus, Loki, Mokosz, Allah, Brigid, Hermes, Durga, Anubis, Weles, Baldur, Khnum, Poseidon, Amphitrite, Astaroth, Neith, Wenut, Ganesha, Perun, Khepri, Inanna, Dola/Niedola, Ariadne, Jaryło, Chors, Sleipnir, Zorza, Jormungandr, Odin, Czarnobóg, Blodeuwedd, Set, Mafdet, Idunn, Seshat, Dziewanna, Artemis, Arioch, Eros, Vesna, Selene, Luna, Leviathan, Behemoth, Nox, Mammon, Abaddon, Azazel, Kathos, Vesta, Sun, Moon, Minerva, Athena, Eosphorus, Stolas, Melinoe, Mary of Magdala

spirits that i work with:

-Pahiri (a white dragon spirit)

-Nkfofa (the mermaid spirit guide)

-a fae

-Fienon (a rusałka)

-Mo Xasii (familiar nr 1)

-Hilkog (a giant spider spirit guide)

-Kalina (a harpy)

-Zanota (a mermaid spirit guide nr 2)

-Gawoż (hydra, familiar nr 2)

- Kiityk (upiór spirit guide)

-Xyo (a red fire dragon)

-Bemamo (a puppy shark)

-Tygu (a black panther spirit guide)

-Sikopoza (a giant centipede spirit guide)

devoting to:

-King Hades

-Bastet

-Aphrodite

some funfacts about me:

-im a fan of polish goth music

-i love vintage jewelry

-im trying to love myself

-love collecting oracle decks

-everything has a soul in my opinion

-i cant do makeup

-love red roses the most

-getting really into tattoos recently

-Marzanna is my patron goddess

I'm planning to master:

-herbology

-moon magic

-palmistry

-reading more books...

-my fuckin research motivation...

i can do:

-protection

-blood magic

-cartomancy

-tarot

-clairvoyance

-clairaudience

-spells and shit

-rituals

-sigils

-tea blends i guess

-motanki

-scrying

-oracle

-runes (both nordic and witch's runes)

-smoke reading

-crystal ball

-curses

-sex magic

sława! :]

[kintatsujo]

something I've been thinking about on and off with regards to Legend of Zelda is the ways in which it gets fantasy religion very right, despite the fact that it kind of started as "we don't understand Christianity" and careened into "let's throw in what we're familiar with and make it something of its own"

in fact, perhaps it gets its fantasy religion right in the ways that it does BECAUSE this is how it started

and the core root of what Zelda gets right about it is...

Hylia and the Three Goddesses don't have fixed character designs.

Think about it. Your average jrpg, you're almost certainly fighting God at some point, and he almost certainly has a specific character design because of course he does, and a LOT of fantasy settings just use that same basic character design throughout all the iconography

but how do you always know it's Jesus in Christian art? He's every skintone a man can have, and while most White Jesuses (Jesii??) look like Cesare Borgia I don't have to be told when a picture of a Black man is meant to be Christ.

Or how do you know it's a particular polytheistic god, or a character from a folk tale, or whatever?

How do you always know it's Hatsune Miku?

And the answer is pretty easy, right?

It's because of their symbols.

So in Zelda, we see a winged woman with her hands clasped, perhaps holding a sword, perhaps wearing a winged crown or headdress or a crown of light, we know that's meant to be Hylia.

And when the Three Goddesses show up, the Triforce symbol is usually involved, or we see spheres or indistinct figures of gold rising upward, light trailing behind them, or we see three feminine figures dancing together, or we see their individual sigils, that sort of thing.

And then there's even the Heroines from botw/totk, who are all depicted with the same form and figure but who each have their own symbol.

And another thing is that MUSIC is very important to the way the goddesses come up; Zelda has her own song and Hylia's song is based on it. The dragonsong of botw and the way it distorts when one of the holy dragons is hurt. The songs Link has to play for puzzles, the holy songs that are the whole key to things.

Zelda as a franchise in general just really understands how much music is part of people, and it especially shines when gods enter the picture.

And idk, all things considered, the Hylian/Hyrulean religions are sort of scant, they're not usually heavily gone into, but what the games give us, I think they get right, and it's just kind of interesting to me from a worldbuilding perspective.

Especially since for my own fandom shit I'm perfectly happy to throw the whole ass thing into a blender with the concept of schisms and regional faiths and hit puree, lmao

[terramythos]

MY TOP 25 BEST POKEMON

by popular demand, in descending order.

25. Galvantula

she is so fluffy. they somehow made an electric spider one of the most cuddly pokemon designs of all time. WOULD get a plushie of her if i am being fully honest.

24. Scyther

he's just some guy who is also a cool looking bug who also has swords coming out of his fucking arms. a rare example of a gen 1 pokemon design that is 'extremely based' and not 'extremely boring'.

23. Roserade

Roselia in gen 3 was such a meh pokemon, so giving it this unexpectedly cool Tuxedo Mask evolution in gen 4 was awesome. I will be fully honest that my favorite version of Roserade is the shiny because it gets black and purple roses. cool as fuck

22. Scream Tail

'what if we made Jigglypuff so so so so so so scary and it wants to maim and eat you now'. say no more

21. Calyrex (Shadow Rider i guess)

as someone who skipped pokemon sword/shield entirely, this design is actually some of the coolest shit i've seen. weird looking deer knight riding on the back of a ghost horse? actually stupidly cool they were really cooking with this one.

20. Grovyle

Every PMD fan on the fucking planet knows why I put this rando middle evo Grass starter on my favorite pokemon list. And they also know that i am objectively correct for doing so. no further explanation is needed

19. Decidueye

listen this is a fucking Ghost Owl Archer, what a fucking idea, it's cool as shit and we love Decidueye in this household. the best grass starter in the game and it isn't even close. despite me putting one immediately before it on this list. no notes.

18. Gastrodon

i love you gastrodon i love you sea slugs i love you having 2 different non-shiny designs/color schemes, i love you weird squishy suctiony cry/sound effects. gastrodon is maybe my best friend possibly ever

17. Ampharos

listen even if lighthouses were not a special interest of mine i would still love the weird electric lighthouse sheep. look at this guy. truly one of THE pokemon designs ever.

16. Chandelure

love this fucking thing it looks like a kingdom hearts boss. also ghost/fire is objectively one of the coolest type combos ever (foreshadowing is a literary device in which--)

15. Hisuian Zoroark

this is a prime example of how the regional variants in modern pokemon can completely improve on the original. the original zoroark is a pretty generic edgy dog. this is a new and much more interesting take in general, it makes its once gimmicky Illusion ability much more sinister and tied to its backstory/lore. also such a great color scheme, i love the weird almost fungal looking growths on it?

14. Furret

furret my friend furret. he is a tube and also my friend.

13. Noivern

this is a vampire bat dragon, potentially the coolest thing to ever exist ever. you agree. also i like the color scheme, purple/green/red aren't usually things i would put together but it works very well here

12. Iron Valiant

there is a tumblr post that calls this thing "so nonbinary it kills you" (or something like that) and holy shit are they right. what a cool mix of gardevoir and gallade's designs. plus making it a robot knight. cool as fuck, definitely the best paradox pokemon. and again, it isn't even close lmao

11. Mawile

i remember being a little disturbed and/or weirded out by this thing when i played gen 3. over the years it has grown on me so much. what a weird fucking design. i too want a giant mouth horn growing out of my head. bonus points to mawile for also getting a sick mega evolution that i am pretty sure broke the metagame for a while. lol, lmao even.

10. Clodsire

holy fucking shit it's clodsire. fuck yes. FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES what an incredible re-imagining of quagsire i love it so much

9. Froslass

imagine you're Glalie, the world's most generic and boring ice type of all time, evolved from Snorunt and already forgotten the moment you're introduced in gen 3. then gen 4 comes along and gives female Snorunts one of the coolest pokemon of all time as an evolution. truly THE most insane evolutionary glow up in the history of the franchise. anyway i love this thing, i love that she murders hikers and displays their corpses for people that's so cool i love you froslass congratulations on your transition

8. Hawlucha

LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD

7. Espeon

definitely my favorite eeveelution, i love its simple design, the gem really ties it together. this is really one of those pokemon that feels like it'll be on your team for life. i will not elaborate on this

6. Bewear

i fucking LOVE this thing it makes me so fucking uncomfortable to look at. it has the best lore of any pokemon ever: it hugs people to death. god what a cool pokemon if it shattered my spine i would probably just say 'ok'

5. Floette

THIS IS MY WHITE WHALE, DUDE. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE SUPER POWERED X/Y MAIN STORY VERSION OF THIS THING BEING CODED INTO THE GAME AS AN EVENT POKEMON AND THEN GAMEFREAK NEVER RELEASED IT. despite my bitterness i love floette whenever i see it. one of the quiet joys of scarlet/violet was seeing this tiny thing chilling out in the wild. to me its face is like The representation of happiness. i have no idea why i love it so much but i'm just happy whenever i see it

4. Suicune

when i was little i was obsessed with this thing. i remember playing pokemon silver and being captivated by it. then i was THRILLED that of all pokemon they could pick they made it the mascot for crystal. when i went on road trips as a kid i would imagine this thing running alongside the car and had all sorts of mental AMVs with it. now that i am an adult and have had time to reflect on suicune, however, i have come to realize something: suicune is actually the coolest fucking thing ever and i was so fucking right all along about this

3. Hisuian Typhlosion

i loved typhlosion as a kid, and most of my attachment to the original one is probably nostalgia related. however, like hisuian zoroark, this is one of those designs that just genuinely improves on the original in every way. i have NO idea why they chose to glam up typhlosion so much in legends arceus but i am so glad they did. adding Ghost typing is such a strange concept on paper but they executed it SO well. i love its dopey little look. what a gem of a design to find so recently in pokemon's lifespan.

2. Alolan Raichu

the original Raichu has always lived in Pikachu's shadow-- it has a cool enough design, but no one is ever going to pay attention to it when it's prevo is literally the world famous series mascot. so i am THRILLED with what a great design Alolan Raichu has. it's so fucking cute, it looks unique while still being obviously tied to the original. i love that it looks like a pancake. i love adding Psychic type to it -- like with Hisuian Typhlosion, an odd idea in concept that works perfectly. i love that it surfs on its adorable, giant tail. GOD i love alolan raichu it is such a good pokemon

Flygon

i love flygon, it's a sand dragonfly that evolves from the world's most adorable antlion. this is an instant pick for my team in every game it's in. i love its dragonfly eyes doubling as sand goggles. flygon is so cool you can make the argument for Dragon/Ground/Bug triple typing, but Gamefreak are fucking cowards and will never do that. it is because they are afraid of what flygon would do with this power. YAY FLYGON

[luescris]

Okay. *inhales and claps hands together* I just got done finally catching up on things. Spoilers under the cut. :)

my thoughts. Are ALL over the place right now. I have words do describe how absolutely gobsmacked I am, but don't have a planned way to put everything so bare with me. So with that said.

*jumping up and down on my chair* dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons

So many things about dragons holy shit you guys holy shit. Can I say how absolutely GORGEOUS the two teacher dragon designs are like on god?? I forget their names but the purple one is so freaking gorgeous and the black one. Is so complicated.

Like in general everything about this season just absolutely screams to me anime like. dude??? When they showed the Five in their prison thing??? That was some freaking anime shit right there. Literally had like flashbacks to that one dangerous group in Naruto that had nine people in it but this was five but s t i l l

There were so many shots where I wanted to take screenshots because oh my god they were so pretty but Netflix doesn't allow that (fuck Netflix for that personally) but dude the Fighting too?? The animation and lighting and lore and story building and ho ug h/pos

Also holy shit I'm so glad that Jay isn't being portrayed as hiding from the others so he doesn't have to do his job like I feared he genuinely forgot and that's so sad because Nya misses the love of her life (SHE ACTIVELY CALLS HIM THAT TOO AAAAA) and the fact that Lloyd got panic attacks??? And those visions??? And holy shit Kai???????

The amount of dragon lore we are FINALLY getting is so much and so sudden it's hurting my brain but I am not at all complaining right now this was the level of story telling that I absolutely adore it's so full of stuff and it's a goddamned lego show. Is it just me or did they seriously up the anti after Monkie Kid cuz you guys I can't I just can't/pos

Never expected Bonzel to be important but I'm not complaining. Cole has a boyfriend finally. The fucking. Council of the Source Dragons or whatever hovering over Lloyd like that oh man oh boy

And the reveal that Roz (Rahz??) and his "master" is only doing this just for some kinda tournament they keep loosing against the Source Dragons?? Talk about a whole new level of petty what the hell dawg that's. Kind of a little hilarious even ngl

Dude I can't wait for more I literally can't wait I'm vibrating so hard right now and still have endless questions this could go anywhere

I was legit glued to the screen the entire time I was watching like on the edge of my seat the whole time, I thought things would get worse or something but it was just all so intense

And also where the hell is Wu is he actually dead this time??? Is that his ghost????? And where in the world is Pixal??? Zane misses his gf :(((

[scarlet97531]

⭕️❗️CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW A BOOK SERIES FOR NINE YEAR OLDS LITERALLY STARTS WITH GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND DOES NOT GET BETTER??????

((General warning for graphic depictions of violence, lots of caps lock, and some swearing sprinkled in for fun for the rest of this post, also I don’t hate WoF, I love WoF, but I also think it’s batshit insane and needs to be addressed (in a pretty unserious way)))

The fucking prologue.

HELLO??? AM I CRAZY FOR THINKING THIS IS A BIT MUCH FOR THE PROLOGUE OF A CHILDREN’S BOOK???

This shot was the gateway drug for us istg. This fucking book series got is so hooked on fictional violence man 😭

We were drawing detailed dragon gore as fanart, looking at detailed gore that other people had drawn as fanart?

Seriously am I crazy????? This is the second main character killing her father to prove a point?????????

This is what we get for an explanation for where the first main character came from? His backstory is literally that his mom sold him for some cows??????????????????? WTF

Also just mudwing society in general is. It seems. Pretty weird. Like really weird.

“As the [human] shrieked again, she bent down and bit off its head.

“Blech,” she said, spitting it out again immediately. The head bounced across the grass as the body slowly toppled over, blood pouring out of it’s neck.”

UM?? OKAY!!

“She scored her talons along his wing, ripping open the scars”

“She shook Dune lightly, as if she were shaking the fluff off a dead pigeon. He clawed at her talons, his eyes bulging. “I mean, what use is a crippled dragon who cannot fly? I’m surprised you haven’t killed yourself already, SandWing. But I can take care of that for you.”

DAMN????

“No!” Sunny screamed, leaping at them.

But it was too late. With a chilling crack, Queen Scarlet snapped Dune’s neck and dropped his body on the stone floor.

“Dune!” Sunny howled. She squirmed past Scarlet and crouched beside him, shaking him with her front talons. His mangled wing flopped, his scales scraped against the rocks. His black eyes were empty. “Dune, wake up!””

HOLY SHIT???? WHY WAS THIS NECESSARY FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND THIS IS JUST SOME OF THE FIRST BOOK, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LEGENDS OF DARKSTALKER MAN THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY

THIS IS BEING SOLD FOR NINE YEAR OLDS

THIS COULD VERY WELL BE A CHILD’S FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DEATH

WHAT WAS TUI THINKING???????????

LIKE ACTUALLY WHAT????

Honestly it is so unsurprising we turned out the way we did when this is what we were reading as a kid 😭

Literally our primary caretaker is named after Scarlet. The same scarlet in those quotes earlier. Like this shit is so in our brain and has been since we were twelve.

This shit. Is. Crazy.

And then every time I try to point out flaws In the writing or the plot ppl tell me “oh it’s not that deep it’s just a children’s book it’s not a big deal” LIKE. FUCKING. HELL IT IS.

ABSOLUTELY NOT. NO FUCKING WAY.

I am completely convinced that if we had never read these books our gorey pseudo memories would not be HALF as detailed and disturbingly accurate as they are now. Like seriously we did so well in anatomy classes because of this. Maybe that’s mostly the autism but i we never would have been so interested in anatomy if we weren’t trying to figure out how to draw anatomically accurate dragon disembowelment because of these damn books 😭

Anyways all this said I still fucking love wings of fire and I’m thinking of bringing back that thing where I draw cute cartoony dragons dying horribly :3

If anyone has horror stories about growing up reading wings of fire I want to hear them

WAIT ONE LAST THING- I forgot to mention the icewing massacre, attempted genocide, and general dragon racism….. hmmmm a topic for another time perhaps

[rachelamberish]

Sooo I’ll go more in depth I think as my days with the game go on, but initial thoughts/impressions mid-way (?) through Act 1:

There’s a lot to like. There’s also a lot that I’ve been critical of from the start, and still am now that I assume I’m pretty deep in Act 1. But I will say, there hits a point in Act 1 where the game just grabs you and it becomes so addicting that a lot of my criticisms (exposition-heavy dialogue, some cameos *cough cough Morrigan* that are fucking awful) don’t feel like that big of a deal next to how much fun I’m having.

It is so fucking weird to associate a Dragon Age game with genuinely enjoyable combat. To literally be *excited* for the next combat encounter rather than just groaning because it’s the chore I have to take care of to get to the next bit of story. Sure, it’s just God of War. But it’s done *really* well.

Some of these voice actors are genuinely incredible. I’m not even going to talk about Gareth David Lloyd here, that’ll probably be its own post (because holy fuck, man, where to begin), but Bellara’s VA has made me so attached to that character so quickly on a level I was so so far from expecting. This is a Bellara stan account now btw

My worries about the music are entirely waylaid. That shit slaps. No notes

Companion stuff in general is *very* good. I see what they’re doing with the structure of the writing, taking their time with each character and story thread, and it really fucking pays off.

There are still PLENTY of times when some of the nuance being robbed from lore-heavy dialogue because they tried to make this game exposition friendly for newcomers is pretty cringe-inducing. I don’t know why they have to look directly at the camera and explain to me what a dwarf is when this is the fourth game and you even put a glossary in the codex this time, for fuck’s sake.

It’s also very weird. Because they’ll do that—they’ll look at you and hold your hand while they explain what a dwarf is—and then the next scene Solas will start talking and suddenly you realize he’s just “etcetera etcetera”-d his way through the reveal that the Golden/Black City is where he imprisoned the Evanuris and attempted to quarantine the Blight. Like it’s implied, like it’s assumed that you’ve just fucking GATHERED that already.

Like I can keep up, but I’m still screaming and pulling my hair out while I do it, I can’t imagine anyone who has played the games but not pored over lore like I have hearing that and not being a bit thrown.

And as a final note because this is getting long — BECAUSE OF SOME SHIT I CAME ACROSS IN GAME LITERALLY THIRTY MINUTES AGO i am HOLDING my criticisms about how much I miss the presence of my decisions from past games. For now, that’s a wait-and-see criticism. Except for Morrigan’s cameo. That shit still sucks. Sorry.

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ how the boxers sleep + what they wear ☆

i made this for ref to future references to any writing i might make + it was fun thinking about this, enjoy my less propaganda filled screaming

Glass Joe

- a sleepcap with the robe thingy

- seriously, look at him and tell me he wouldnt wear the honkmimimi fit

- doesnt snore thankfully, makes up for that by speaking in his sleep and spinning around the bed like hell

- he'll go to sleep on his back and end up waking up using the blanket as a pillow while on the edge of the bed, facedown

- if you're asleep next to him, expect suprisingly strong kicks that makes dragon chan jealous

Disco Kid

- random pajamas, if its comfy, he shall wear it

- still as a corpse in his sleep + facedown

- sometimes sings in his sleep and its both terrifying and hilarious

-imagine trying to sleep and you just hear the intro to bad romance

Von Kaiser

- white T-shirt + black shorts, bland ass fit

- snores but not THAT much

- has severe insomnia so if you see him asleep, dont wake him up because 90% of the time its because he passed out

- doesnt spin like Joe but doesnt stay still either, just some slight turning

Piston Hondo

- has a whole lot of pajamas, ends up with pajama pants + some bland shirt of any kind

- no snoring, silent

- sleeps facedown, still alive somehow

- so still you might think hes dead

- mumbles in his sleep because holy shit we cant have one normal person who sleeps normally

King Hippo

- shorts, thats it

- snores like a broken car engine

- also spins like hell

- random mumbling 90% of the time

- probably ends up crushing someone in his sleep

Great Tiger

- sleeping mask with any kinds of pants + shirts

-slight snoring, not a AGHHHHHGHHNNBGGG but not complete silence either

- sometimes clones himself in his sleep, especially when hes worried about something he forgot to do/needs to do, its his version of sleepwalking, makes said clones do work

- laying in bed but he forgot to turn off the kettle? No worries, he'll send a clone for that

- also spins like a rotisserie chicken in his sleep

- has weird ass dreams every night, he woke up in a cold sweat because he had a dream about his clones refusing to work for him & overthrowing him somehow

- pillow stealer, enjoy your neck pain, fucker

Don Flamenco

- fancy robe + sleep mask

- quiet sleeper

- can and will grab onto anything when hes asleep & hug it and hold on for dear life

- you sleep with your arms stretched? Enjoy having your arm used as a personal pillow

- carmen hates sleeping next to him for that (and totally nothing else)

Bear Hugger

- some t shirt from Facebook with those auto generated quotes like "NEVER MESS WITH A LUMBERJACK WHO LIKES SEA SHANTIES & RAW FISH AND WAS BORN IN NOVEMBER!!" plus some pants he doesnt use anymore, this includes jeans of any kind

- snores like hell also, so loud you might need earplugs

- speaks in his sleep,he sometimes sleepwalks with his eyes open and it terrifies everyone

- its really random stuff too, usually related to whatever weird dream hes having

- it feels like when youre in a sleep over and someone keeps whispering weird shit thats so funny for some reason

- the "i like raw fish" quote comes from his sleeptalking too

Aran Ryan

- weirdest pajamas ever, nothing is matching, nothing fits together, his pajamas takes years off your lifespan

- speaks in his sleep, its always terrifying

- some of his fabulous speak talking quotes includes "the fog is coming" and "war"

- he wake up in the weirdest positions ever, he'll go to sleep on his side and when he wakes up hes on the floor

- spins in his sleep, both the y axis and x axis this time

Bald Bull

- tank top + pajama pants, classic dad fit

- loudest snorer ever, sounds like a nuclear siren

- sleeps with all his limbs stretched out, looks oddly similiar to family guy death pose

- sometimes ends up slightly headbutting people in his sleep, especially when hes having a dream that personally pisses him off, Just a slight nudge thankfully unlike joes organ-breaker combo meal over here

- ends up hugging his pillow when hes asleep

Soda Popinski

- any random combo of everything mentioned above, can and will wear jeans in his sleep

- suprisingly still when hes asleep

- no snoring too somehow

- sleepwalks a LOT, causing him to wake up in odd places, either on the floor or in a bathtub

- needs someone to check up on him whenever hes sleepwalking

Super Macho Man

- his own merch, no contest

- snorts in his sleep instead of snoring somehow??

- also stretched out like a starfish

- laughs in his sleep and its TERRIFYING.

- Blanket hog

Mr Sandman

- bland ass fit, either a tank top & shorts or anything with pajama pants, no jeans because hes sane like that

-oddly quiet, cant even hear him breathing

-sleeps face down & still

- is he dead or just asleep? Find out in the morning!

- no extra movement, at all

- literal statue

[envymeshi]

Holy shit I just realised that dungeon meshi would lend itself really well to a sci-fi setting, too. All the different types of humans look different and have different life spans because theyre adapted to different planets (likely through bioengineering, which im kinda using as a stand-in for magic.) Instead of eating iconic fantasy RPG monsters, it'd be about eating iconic alien lifeforms (The Red Dragon would probably be one of those Giant Sand Worms that are incredibly common in sci-fi) I'm not sure what the stand-in for the dungeon would be. Perhaps humans haven't yet reached travel between solar systems, but every so often wormholes will pop up to places with unexplainably odd physics? I'm not sure what the demon would be though. I mean, in this context, I suppose science itself would represent the limitless potential to fulfill our own desires, but like. I don't wanna have weird anti-science undertones by having science represent the antagonist?!?!? At the same time, I don't want to fall back into magic (not that sci-fi and magic together don't work, but I think it'd be interesting to take full advantage of the science) EDIT: THE LION CAN JUST BE SOMETHING THAT GENERATES LIMITLESS ENERGY. THE LION CAN BE SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE A BLACK HOLE OR SOMETHING LOL. that works Just think of bioengineered chimera Falin <3 Frankenstein's monster kinda gal <3<3<3. Also You can't tell me Laios wouldn't be super excited to explain how stuff like the Alien's Alien and The Thing reproduce 💀 Also put Marcille in a lab coat NOW!!!!

[howlingday]

The Salem Song

Salem: Oh, Zwei~! I heard there's a song about me, and I want to hear it!

Zwei: Are... Are you sure?

Salem: Zwei, put the song on!

Zwei: It's... It's not very nice.

Salem: Zwei, put it on!

Zwei: Alright. (Presses scroll)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Music plays to the musical tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're a mean one, Ms. Salem~.

Salem: That's me~.

You're a fugly piece of shit~!

Salem: What?

You bring bendy straws to bathrooms 'cause you like the taste of piss, Ms. Saleeeeem~!

Salem: No. No, I- No, I don't.

I wouldn't suck your tits if they were dipped in honey and could cure cancer.

Salem: Monty Oum! Who wrote this?! Who wrote this song, Zwei?!

ALSO YOU HAVE NO TIIIIIITS~!

Salem: Zwei, stop the song.

Zwei: I can't.

Salem: What do you mean you can't?

Zwei: It's broken.

Salem: What's broken?!

Zwei: I dunno, it's jammed.

Salem: What do you- Fine! Can you at least turn it down?

Zwei: I can't. I... I'm a dog.

Salem: ZWEI!

You're a dipshit, Ms. Salem~.

Salem: (Sighs) Okay?

Even babies want you dead~!

Salem: ...Wow.

You've never bring home a man 'cause you're scared you'll wet the bed, Ms. Saleeeeeeem~!

Salem: I wish they weren't so good at rhyming.

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:

BITCH!

Salem: I'm not.

DUMPSTER!

BITCH!

Salem: No, no, no, this is not how it goes! Like, I knew they changed it, but I thought it would be like a key change, or maybe a guitar solo! But this is... This is just degrading. This hurts.

Zwei: It's pretty detailed, yeah.

Salem: What happened to the Beowolf part? I actually liked that part! It was kinda funny!

Zwei: It was a Beringel.

Salem: No, it was a Beowolf!

Zwei: It was a Beringel.

Salem: Was it a Beringel?

Zwei: Yeah, "Two Left Foot Beringel".

Salem: Oh.

You're poor, Ms. Salem~!

Salem: Didn't leave a stone unturned.

You can't afford the bus~!

Salem: Lower middle class, maybe!

You're deathly allergic to treenuts, and your exact address is thus,

Ms. Saleeeeeeem~!

Salem: What? Nonono! I-!

1482 Black Dragon Island Blvd.

Salem: Holy shit...

Remnant, Nevada.

Salem: That's my address! Wh-What are you gonna do?!

I MAILED YOUR BITCH-ASS A BAG OF NUUUUUUUUTS~!

Salem: This is a song that kids sing? Every year, they sing this same song around the Non-Descript Winter Holiday decorations?

Zwei: Yeah

Salem: A song that says "bitch"?! It has said "bitch" three times!

Zwei: Yeah, that's... That's too much.

Salem: They know I saved humanity, right?! Like, at the end of the series, I saved them all! I'm a good guy now! I pay my taxes! I go to church! (Epic solo) Oh, there is a guitar solo. ...Okay, that actually is a really good solo.

Zwei: Yeah.

Salem: Just a shame about the rest of the song.

It's not just that you are inbred~!

Salem: I'm fucked.

Miss Salem~!

Salem: This feels bad...

You don't know how to read~!

Salem: This feels really bad...

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TO SUCK DOWN PEE, MS. SALEEEM~!

Salem: ...

According to an anonymous poll, with a sample size of more than three thousand people of Remnant who are asked to rank you on a scale from one to a hundred...

Zwei: ...Ms. Salem?

Salem: (Gone from her seat)

...based on variant traits such as likeablility, general odor, and your physical attractiveness...

Salem: (Standing over a cliff, Music muffled)

...THE HIGHEST NUMBER WE GOT WAS THREEEEEE~!

Zwei: What's wrong, Ms. Salem?

Salem: ...You ever feel like no matter how hard you try, people will always see you as your past self. Just as this one thing. This one, unchangeable thing.

Zwei: ...Like a dog?

Salem: (Sighs) I guess no matter what I do, I'll always be this black, white, and red monster.

Zwei: You're red?

Salem: Yeah, I'm red.

Zwei: Oh. I always thought you were gray.

Salem: You didn't know I was red, too?

Zwei: No. Dog.

Salem: (Smiles) That's right.

Zwei: ...I love you, Ms. Salem.

Salem: (Pets Zwei) I love you, too, Zwei.

Zwei: Happy Non-Descript Winter Holiday.

Salem: Happy Non-Descript Winter Holiday.

[imustbenuts]

Pokémeshi: in celebration of me finally getting the right stats rolled on Reshiram, how would you cook the gen 5 box legends

holy shit??? congrats! cant imagine how long that must have taken you but im impressed!!

gen 5 box legends refer to reshiram and zekrom, yeah?

one's a dragon fire type and ones a dragon electric type

both are btw lowkey one of my top favourite legendaries bc of how their designs and spritework are, and how bomb BW was. anyway.

for reshiram, they look a little soft and flamey. their butt tail looks dangerous so the first order of business is to chop that away. since reshiram is the yang that represents all things sunny and warm and motherly, im gonna turn them into a oyako-don >:3 since you know. they look almost like one of those fancy white chicken.

behold, a reshiram:

but who's the child? ez. theres no child. remember their chopped off butt? that thing must be full of gooey jet fuel thats similar in consistency to egg yolk so we're good, its covered, and the best thing is it probably is warm enough to self cook! reshiram cooks themself with enough of their butt juice here, there isnt an issue at all!

so extract reshiram's warm hot butt juice, toss their meat in and cook with that same butt juice. the most eco friendly cooking method B)

reshiram oshiri jiru don, thats what its actually gonna be! yeehaw!!

for zekrom, they're a dragon electric type.

just like with reshiram, zekrom is also id imagine a type of chicken but with tougher meat. and i am happy to report such a chicken exists in the real world and ive eaten it before.

behold. a zekrom (actually ayam cemani):

like our friend here, zekrom is likely to have black looking meat on the inside, like a metal as fuck kinda creature, and so it falls upon us to serve zekrom in the most metal as fuck kinda way.

with zekrom, their butt tail is a generator. an electricity generator. so in the name of green energy, we are going to chop off that butt generator, hook up and have it support a live metal concert along with a stove. because what im gonna make today is something called the Black Bone Chicken Soup:

it is very simple. toss zekrom into a big pot, toss in some dates and herbs and berries, cook that with its own butt generator in a slow cooker. thats it!

and it would be fitting too, bc reshiram embodies truth while zekrom embodies ideals . to bear yourself into ones own unavoidable hot butt juice is the peak of truth for reshiram, and to be mistaken for some different species of idealistic animal when youre just a chicken is fitting for zekrom.

truth can set your stomach free from hunger for about 6 hours, and ideal can set your taste buds happy and clear for about 6 hours

and an ice cold drink on top of those, priceless 👍just remember to take the frozen kyurem out to defrost and eat it like regular grilled chicken too.

[eleemosynecdoche]

Fornit doesn't exist, why?

*putting on my ceremonial mesh tights and sparkly capelet*

*ascending before the altar*

*clearing my throat*

Because it sucks!

Or, putting it longer and with more jargon- Fonrit is a part of Glorantha where the fantasy content is so heavily impregnated with sensationalistic depictions of slavery in North Africa from an older generation of adventure fiction, and tied in with a heavy dose of Orientalism. So, it's got a lot of racism in the basic premise before you get to the Vadeli (and hoo boy, the Vadeli)! But of course, Glorantha has been consistently racist to varying degrees in its content, and there are plenty of places where you have to cut away a lot of material and yet I still go there. (Caladraland featured heavily in the game I recently finished playing).

Fonrit is, I would say, worse, but not so much because of the specific details, but rather because of a deeper problem- there's not much playable content when you look at it.

I don't mean that we need a Fonrit book, or Fonrit adventures. Looking at other places in Pamaltela, the Kothar/Jolar border zone, which is also filled with racist content left over from old adventure fiction and has little published material, has some immediately playable content. You have the Kresh and Arbennan confederacies in tension, preparing for war, you have (sigh) monsters marching from out of the desert, you have the fire people from beyond the desert, you have the goblins of the marshes to the east- there's an explosive metasituation to explore and play with. Even Kimos, which is just a "wow, cool fantasy backdrop material, bro!" set of paragraphs, has a nascent situation with the Gorgers you could explore.

These would require a lot of work to make playable, I would say, because there isn't that much material to draw from, but you have something to build on. It's much more work than even Ralios or Seshnela or, for fuck's sake, Arolanit, would require. Incomparable to near-instantly playable places like Fronela, Dragon Pass, the Holy Country, or the Lunar Empire, or not-quite-places like the Arkat/Gbaji content.

Fonrit then has the basal problem that there's just not that much playable content there. You have conflicts between two different moral abysses in the form of the slaver factions, and I just don't give a shit about that. You have the Pujaleg in Laskal, who are of course, denoted as evil within the fandom discourse, but even if you rightly discard that and kick it to the curb, it's just- what, a moral crusade with "grey moments" added in by force to make it feel less one-sided? Similarly, you have the Veldang, who are blue people racially oppressed by black people, and you could play a really grim situation about Veldang resistance and revolutionary efforts- turns out they're the descendants of the evil Artmali! And there's the Vadeli, still.

In order to make a playable situation, that is one with interesting and explosive tensions players and their characters can interact with, you have to essentially make your own Fonrit, or at least I would and I think the overwhelming majority of people would as well. Going back to the Vadeli, the Vadeli are extremely problematic as a part of Gloranthan content, because the extant material generally uses antisemitic stereotypes taken to cartoonish extremes- they're so blood-libel they eat their own children to stay immortal! They're so sexually perverse they use axolotl tanks from Dune!!

Now. When I said "problematic", I mean it very precisely, because when you dig down to the basal Vadeli content of Revealed Mythologies, you get a very different picture. And then pieces, for me, fell into place. Because knowing what I know about Greg Stafford, for him, at least for most of his life, Arkat's journey was modeled on a fantastical interpretation of his own life, coming from a repressed mainline Christian New England military family (horali from Brithos) and journeying through Hrestoli knighthood (reading Arthuriana at a young age) and then paganism (dropping out of Beloit College and becoming a hippie and self-professed shaman).

So perhaps, what we are meant to do by Stafford is read the Vadeli content in this way: the Vadeli are fantasy Jews, they are directly victimized by these antisemitic stereotypes applied to them by Malkioni fantasy Christians. Brithini dominion and Zzabur's genocide kept them reduced to the status of peasants who cannot defend themselves, with no soldiers ("horali") or priests ("wizards") and not even a general public memory of rulers ("talars").

This is problematic because this reading of the content, this interpretation, doesn't erase the antisemitic implications of the content, adds some more, and of course it doesn't carry an instantly playable situation in and of itself- what are the Vadeli doing that brings them into tension, with other people or with themselves? And beyond that, there are questions of who has a "right" to play such things in a roleplaying game, though I will be even more overly candid here than I've already been and note that I strongly believe that the concerns related to cultural appropriation in other media don't apply to roleplaying in the same way, and many don't apply at all.

(This is also a specific *possibility* or *option* for play, though I think it makes much more sense than making the Vadeli colonizers. Feel free to ask me about that, by the by, if you want a real rant on your hands.)

Anyways, I still don't have *that* much interest in doing the work necessary to finish the Vadeli to a playable state even given that. But I think that work is something I could see myself doing, in a more limited fashion, if the Vadeli entered into play on the outskirts, because I find some aspects of the Revealed Mythologies content affecting and interesting. And for Fonrit, I just think that there's so little interesting content in it that I have and would fireaxe it away in play (see the link for an explanation of that term) and just agree that it's not there. If anyone wants to go there in play... well, that's a subject for an actual game.

I have a similar but distinct set of thoughts about Prax and Kralorela, but I won't bloat this post up any further.

[intertexts]

HIIII ROS i am sorry i never replied to your reply to my ask from a while ago i am so bad at that ;-; in response to that kinda (bc we were talking about jhariah) i did see them live! 3rd concert ive ever been to in my life & it was life changing... i was front row n there was a baby mosh pit n i was with my best friends it was so good <3 i didn't get to see all the songs off TRUST CEREMONY live but if he tours again i will try to get tix because i must see CONTROL BABY live... my faves are control baby n fire4fun n russian doll <3 but it is my fave album ever created (except maybe Måneskin's Teatro D'Ira vol 1)

Dont wanna yap too much but other music im liking rn: Dua Saleh's ROSETTA ep; Missouri Surf Club's songs Rotten & Kingdom Come; Jean Dawson's entire discography generically but specifically SICK OF IT* and New Age Crisis; Ethel Cain's everything; and then im still consistent w the narcissist cookbook, an unkindness, sons of the illustrious father etc. I have been getting into a crazy amount of music since summer started though so there are sooooo many others but i wanna know what you're listening to! i like your music taste as ive said :3

ANYWAY I think i might just send another ask because this is ramble-y n u dont have to reply to it bc its overwhelming but!! Yeah hehe okay p. 1 - mare

HII HI HI no worries!!!!!!! all good i'm also really terrible at it!!!!!! hehe <33 jhariah concert & mosh pit is SO awesome though.. man.. thats so cool.... love that experience for u!!!! <333

checking out all of these rn they're SOO GOOD.... dua saleh ROSETTA ep literally going on the repeat playlist rn omg. ough. how have i not heard them before. holy fucking shit. missouri surf club goood i love the florence influence.... jean dawson & ethel cain WHOO!!!! hell yeag. god. u also have such good music dude. good shit.!!!!!!!

what have i been listening to!!! shit!!! this is gonna be LONG but u asked for it!!! a lot of morcheeba (big calm), de la soul (the grind date), sneaker pimps (bloodsport), tricky (maxinquaye) <- one of my all time faves, madvillainy, cibo matto (viva! la woman), yaeji (with a hammer), chai (wink)... summer to me is usually very hot & humid & sticky & dreamy to me (busted ac) so this is my laying on the floor staring at the fan vaguely dissociating rotation.

other than hip hop & trip hop-- dragon new warm mountain i believe in you by big thief!!!!!! somehow never listened to this one & i'm ill over it. & july flame (other all time fave) by laura veirs & central reservation by beth orton (<- huge recent discovery ill over her voice) & broken social scene self titled for my acoustic rotation...

heavier set: been getting BIG into creature feature they're literally so fun. i think u might like them tbh. american gothic is my fave so far!! summer is for shitty pop punk 2 me!! esp. when i actually have to Do Stuff & not lay on the floor melting. so. we the kings, fall out boy (cork tree & infinity on high), the cab, the academy is..., yellowcard, motion city soundtrack, alkaline trio :]

ALSO special mention 2 blue sky black death (slow burning lights, late nite cinema, noir) bc their instrumentals make me so insanely nostalgic & have been my writing soundtrack for the past month!!!!