#AND STEDE PUNCHED A GUY!!

[quillyfied]

DONT MIND ME JUST SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY AT WORK ABOUT OFMD S2

[lovesickshanties]

Our Flag Means Death Season 2 | Official Teaser | Max

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

When I watched OFMD this year, I literally knew three things:

It was called Our Flag Means Death

It was a pirate comedy

It had been cancelled

I didn’t know Rhys Darby (‘that Murray bloke from Conchords’) or Con O’Neill (‘the weird guy from Chernobyl’) were in it until they came on screen. And please don’t stab in me in the face, but I had never heard of Taika Waititi. I’m very much not the target market for this show. Although I will say I think it’s universal in its exploration of the human condition. So if you’re human, the show is for you.

I knew nothing about budget cuts, editing decisions, or even at this point any circumstances around why it had been cancelled. I had not an inkling it was a romance. I had no notion it was going to overtake my life to such an extent.

I watched one episode a night for 18 nights (I know, I know… I binge-watched it immediately afterwards over two days, and haven’t stopped since). I also had no-one to talk to about the show as I watched the 18 episodes. No-one I knew had ever heard of it. I really was a blank canvas.

And this is what I thought. Other than finding Calypso’s Birthday a little uncomfortable on first watch (and that’s largely because I find torture, even the OFMD variety, difficult to engage with - I always skip the opening of 206 now), I saw no difference between the seasons in terms of artistic merit. It’s possible that because I didn’t experience an 18-month hiatus, and build up my own version of what season 2 should be in my head, I didn’t have any expectations to be knocked down. I just engaged with what they asked me to watch.

I fell in love with this show at ‘My name’s Stede. I’ll be your robber here today.’ I fell in love with Stede Bonnet when he did his little Scrappy Doo air-punch in episode two.

With regard to season two, The Innkeeper affected me so much I honestly think it altered my brain at a structural level. More so than The Chain sequence which is when I think this show started affecting my brain chemistry.

I also loved the development of Stede and Ed outside of their personas. The couch scene in Fun and Games made me believe in them as a couple in ways I hadn’t quite in season one because they were growing and being real with each other. I thought their arguments were so well-written. Man on Fire has one of the most authentic representations of couple miscommunication I have ever seen on tv. And I think Mermen is really good in doing what it needed to do, and did it well. How do you end a tv series that gives a satisfactorily emotional ending, but doesn’t give away everything in case there’s another season?

Ed’s journey in particular just ripped my heart out and then glued it back together. And seeing Stede continue to develop his very nonlinear understanding of the power of his earnestness and gnc self, whilst still sometimes wrestling with notions of traditional masculinity… I needed to grow a second heart.

When I learned of the financial and time constraints later on, I was shocked they had achieved such a high standard of tv.

Imagine my shock when I discovered the Canyon…

It’s fine if you don’t like season 2, or season 1, or OFMD at all for that matter. But if you want me to say season 2 isn’t any good, or as good as season 1, then you want me to say something that I have never felt to be true. When you experience it holistically like I did, it all hangs together beautifully.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

our flag means death but i've never watched it

Hey OFMD fandom, the Ineffable fandom sends their Mascot. I was supposed to do this many days ago, but the OFMD tag on tumblr was filled with... things. This time, I gained my knowledge from Pinterest instead, and I, Asmi, of the Good Omens Fandom, am rooting for you all!

THAT BEING SAID. WHAT THE DEVIL IS THIS SHOW MEANT TO BE? AS USUAL, I UNDERSTAND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS, BUT TAKE A SUMMARY ANYWAY:

It is gay. Of this at least, I am very sure.

There are pirates. The pirates are the above gays.

There is a guy named Ed who is Blackbeard, and he is very soft and shares trauma and has grey hair.

He is in love with Stede, who writes him bottle letters and throws them away.

Ed is not happy about the throwing away part. I think he wanted to read the letters.

They read the letters together.

There is a guy named Lucius and someone kisses him and they do a victory punch. They break up because of fish.

Someone named Izzy has a redemption arc.

There are colonisers. They are British. This makes sense, at least.

The colonisers are not homophobic, they merely find love pathetic.

In the 1600s male pirates married each other and that's where the term 'matey' originated. I do not know. This is what Pinterest yelled at me.

Uh Ed pulled a Crowley on Stede and instead of Alpha Centauri asked him to run away to China with him.

Stede ran away from him instead.

Izzy was not a father figure to Ed. Discuss. It is something involving horniness and unrequited love.

Izzy died.

Ed was upset under a blanket. Stede respected this.

Ed built a blanket fort. Is this a running theme?

I understood nothing more because I can't make out whether 'ship' refers to relationship or the actual fucking ship. What does 'Steve does fixing in the ship' MEAN IS THIS MARRIAGE COUNSELLING OR NAVAL ENGINEERING?

EVEN THOUGH I UNDERSTOOD NOTHING, THIS SEEMS LIKE A GAY FUCKING DISASTER. RENEW IT. GO SLAY OFMD THE GOOD OMENS FANDOM IS BEHIND YOU.

[sixstepsaway]

so here's the thing

i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it

and i get where they're coming from

but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.

i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try

the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.

that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.

(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)

then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)

and finally there's ed

ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways

and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper

friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.

except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.

so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed

if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?

except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.

stede's not enjoying it.

i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches

anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it

and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you

but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?

that can be fun.

but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again

and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.

i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.

explicitly. explicitly a pattern.

not just one toe but three.

jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"

and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get

ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it

and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"

but stede isn't

ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here

i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.

it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?

especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.

ALSO

having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal

i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no

and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!

the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place

i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person

ugh

[spenglernot]

STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday.  What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.

Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.

Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.

Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.

Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).

Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.

Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.

Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.

Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.

The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.

Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.

And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.

There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.

Now for the the meta part

The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.

Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?

Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?

Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?

Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?

Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?

And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.

This guy,

Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)

And this guy,

Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).

And this guy,

Xerxes, 300 (2006).

And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:

Don’t respect him.

Feel free to openly mock him.

Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.

He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.

Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.

Oh and, just to be clear,

The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).

Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.

Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

[lumiilys]

Just feel like I’ve been punched in the face by the mental image of Stede and Ed snuggled up together in bed. How are you guys doing?

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Hm. Potential extensions of Ed and Stede's trauma into their new life that make me want to rip the door off my fridge

Stede losing sleep because he Needs to lay very specifically with a palm over Ed's chest to make sure he's always breathing, and he keeps waking Ed up in a panic because he thinks he can't feel him breathe

Thunderstorms Freak Ed The Fuck Out. On stormy days he needs to be bundled up in a blanket fort with lots of scented candles lit and his hands over his ears

it starts out sweet, but Stede is maybe a bit obsessive over making sure Ed is always wearing warm socks

They have to get into the habit of leaving each other notes when they leave the house, no matter how briefly, no matter if they're getting something that's supposed to be a surprise. Too many sobbing meltdowns otherwise

Sick, feverish Ed freaks out when Stede tries to feed him soup, terrified he's back in the gravy basket

Again, at first it just comes across as chivalrous, but Stede is a bit too gung-ho about wanting to bite everyone who so much as looks at Ed wrong in the throat

Ed cannot STAND the taste of alcohol anymore, his reaction to even the smell is so bad that they can't keep it in the house

Stede's marriage feelings are Weird. At first he doesn't even grasp that Ed would want that so much. Then he keeps putting off asking him because he was a bad husband before and he doesn't want to fuck it up again

It's the first time Ed's actually been safe in his entire life. For a few months he's so jumpy just waiting for the other shoe to drop that he accidentally punches a hole through the wall because of imagined attackers. twice. Stede lets him hide a bunch of weapons around the house and make a panic room in the basement and dig an escape hatch through their bedroom floor because like. what else can you even say about that to a guy who has lived a life where he's in very real danger of people skinning him alive for fucking up? at least it helps him feel safer

once they get settled in the worst disagreement is over whether or not they should get a horse. Stede keeps hinting at it VERY hard and whenever Ed asks him what he wants for birthdays and holidays he says "a horse" in that tone that's joking but also Not. Ed hates this bit (he is scared of horses)

[beansprean]

The starting point I expect for whatever nasty freak sex these guys are gonna have. (drawn prior to seeing e 6-7 LOL)

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1. Bust of Stede with a confused smile, asking "Er, Ed...what's a 'handy'?" 2. Reverse shot of Ed, staring at him with a furrowed brow and flushed cheeks, mouth pressed into a stern line. A thought bubble appears over his head with the words "Let me show y-" but is cut off as Ed's right fist snaps up and punches it away. /end ID

[adickaboutspoons]

Read this post, and now I've got a scenario without a story stuck in my head and I'm going to make it everyone else's problem Biker Ed & his buddies are refueling at a gas station when he notices a (smokeshow) posh-looking guy walking into the attached convenience store. He gives Jack a friendly shoulder-check. "Bet I can get his number." Last night Jack got digits from 2 (crazy hot, but, accent on the crazy) ladies at the bar, & he's been insufferable ever since. "What? Fancy Britches over there?!" Jack hoots, following it with a raucous guffaw. Ed swivels his head around; surely Smokeshow heard Jack, even though he & the boys are clustered around the pumps furthest from the door, but, thankfully, Smokeshow is already inside. Jack gives him the side-eye. "You're not serious, right? Since when is that guy your type?" Since Ed laid eyes on him & he instantaneously punched every single one of Ed's buttons in a way that no one ever has before. But Ed snorts & shrugs, "Yeah, nah. That's what makes it a challenge. Like. Does that look like the kind of guy who want to give a guy like me his number?" Ed desperately hopes he's the kind of guy who will give Ed his number. And his address. And his fucking hand in marriage, maybe. "Let's make it interesting," Ed says, & that got Jack's attention. "20? No. 40 bucks says I get his number." For a long moment Jack doesn't say anything. He regards Ed, & Ed's half certain he's sussed it out - that Ed isn't after a challenging mark to prove to his friends he can pull whoever he wants; he's desperate for this to work & more than a little terrified that it won't - psyching himself up by adding stakes so the fluttery fear in his tum won't talk out of taking his shot. If he doesn't get a move on, whole thing'll be moot. He feels the enormous weight of the seconds as they tick away. Jack scoffs. "Yeah. Why not? You crash & burn & I get your cash. You get his digits, & I get a good laugh when you busts his chops for thinking he ever had a chance. Sounds like a win-win to me." Ed tries not too look too eager when he scuttles across the parking lot. Smokeshow comes out the door just as he's reaching for the handle. He gives a little startled "Oh" then hurriedly steps to the side, holding the door for Ed to go through with a soft, polite smile. Oh fuck. Up close he's gorgeous, & that smile? It teases out a dimple on one side that Ed wants very much to kiss. "Uh. No. No thanks," Ed stammers. He clears his throat. "I'm Ed." Smokeshow is still smiling, but confusion crinkles his brow. "Nice to meet you, Ed. I'm Stede," he replies. "Wanna do something weird?" Ed says, half-expecting Stede to break into a dead run. Stede isn't running. Stede is leaning closer, his eyebrows hiked with interest. "I just bet my buddies $40 I could get your number. If you do me a solid, I'll split the bounty with you. Just write a number on my hand - doesn't even have to be yours." Please please please let it be his. Stede laughs &, oh god, he's even cuter when he laughs. Ed's heart stutters in his chest. "Well... Do you have a pen?" Ed does have a pen, but with the way his palms are sweating he's pretty sure the number is going to be completely illegible in, like, 3 seconds. Stede is done writing, but he's not letting go of Ed's hand. "Um..." he says shyly, "do you thinks a little kiss on the cheek might really sell the bit?" Ed is not going to have a number written on his hand anymore because his body is going to simply vaporize, but he just nods & says "Yeah. Sure. Good thinking." Stede leans in & as his lips brush against Ed's cheekbones (fuck his lips are soft. Does he just, like, endlessly apply chapstick or), he whispers, "Number's real. Give it a ring and we'll work out a time & place to split the loot." Then he's gone. By the time Ed's brain catches up to this fact, Stede's car is turning right onto the highway. Ed's brain must have hitched a ride or something, because he has no idea how he got back to his bike, or what Jack is whinging about as he grumpily stuffs $40 into his hand.

[arsenicflame]

Ed gets amnesia (Izzy-centric, pre s1 banishment, past edizzy to some degree)

It starts something like this: a rope left out after a raid, a captain showing off to the crew, a workload stretched too thin to have noticed the accident waiting to happen...

When Ed wakes, it's almost immediately clear something is wrong. He's lost a few years of memories- not much in the grand scheme of things, but it's enough that the man who lays in front of them is almost unrecognisable to the man they knew. He's from just at the point where he was starting to get frustrated with the 'ease' of being Blackbeard, tiring of his old life, but still so full of life and love in ways the present Ed forgot how to be.

He's a lot more on guard, for a start, waking up surrounded by strangers, even if they are treating him very nicely. He doesn't trust them, he doesn't even fake trusting them, just shuts them out completely.

Stede and Roach figure out what's going on pretty quickly and try to explain it to Ed after that, about what's happened and all the things he missed, but he doesn't believe them for a second- how could he? If he got hurt, Izzy would be there waiting for him to wake up. He always has been, always is, his predictable and reliable Izzy. He says as much to Roach and Stede, the only thing he will say, and they just... side-eye each other. They can't believe it- Izzy?

Anyway, Ed completely shuts down after that, so someone runs to get Izzy. Izzy, who had decided, after everything- especially the past few weeks on the revenge- that there's no way Ed would want him there. He's still lurking on deck because he can't stand not knowing how Ed is, but he knows that's not his place any more. So to say he's surprised when Stede comes and begrudgingly grabs him is an understatement- Stede doesn't tell him anything, obviously, just that Ed’s asking for him. 

The way Ed’s face lights up as he walks into the room is a punch to the gut. There's a cheerful greeting, the kind he hasn't received in years, and Ed’s yapping on about what he's been told and what happened and "this ship, Iz!" and he's just... floored. He can't say anything in response, not even to confirm their story because this is Ed, this is his Ed, who's face is turning worried, joking about how it looks like Izzy’s the one with a head injury, and Izzy can't cope. He just... storms out of the room.

Izzy’s up on deck, and he's not even yelling, or working, or really doing anything, just aimlessly coiling ropes in a daze when Ed appears on deck after him. He's thrown his leather jacket over whatever of Stede’s clothes he was wearing, a return to his Blackbeard armour to be seen by crew, and he jogs up to Izzy and starts getting handsy with him, physically turning him to looking him in the eyes and check he's ok, just generally being casual in a way that nobodies ever seen them- a way that nobody expected Izzy to tolerate (but of course he does, its Ed).

Izzy'll stutter out a response and Ed will wrap his arm over his shoulder, casually, like that's a thing they do. He'll ask for a tour, for him to explain everything, like what's the deal with this Stede guy. He's still enamoured with The Revenge and all its bells and whistles, only now he wants it with Izzy. It's all 'Iz' and 'mate' and affectionate and a side of their relationship even the Queen Anne crew haven't seen in years, a complete shock to absolutely everyone except this Ed.

Ed shows Izzy the model of The Revenge again and Izzy is both heartbroken and so indulgent because that's the Ed he had once, and he's going to take every second while he can. Ed can show him every single trinket on the entire ship if he wants. Izzy's always been willing to indulge Ed to some degree (it's Izzy, after all) but there's usually external factors, like they're in the middle of a raid, storming a hostile ship, or being chased down by the Spanish without any plan and over the years Izzy’s taken to just trying to redirect Ed quickly rather than letting him get distracted with the next shiny thing. It's been a sticking point between them, Ed's distractions and Izzy's rigidity and inability to have fun even when the occasions fitting.

But, for all Izzy's gripes with The Revenge, he does know it's safe for them- or at least that he could take on any member of this useless crew who tried to take advantage of his captain's momentary incapacity. So he does, for once, feels safe to indulge Ed. And God, he wants to. He has wanted to. He wants to watch him forever, like he did when they were little more than kids. He wants to forget all the mistakes he made just to see Ed smile and light up at him one more fucking time. He's not going to throw away this opportunity, no matter how badly it hurts him in the end.

Ed's memories don't come back in a day or so, so the crew keeps getting these shows of their relationship in a way they've never seen before- all these casual touches, and the way he'll turn to Izzy before anyone else, even Izzy laughing a couple of times. The crew gets to see a completely different Izzy- one more like the man he'd have been on The Queen Anne, a man they can see means something to Ed. He's not just his rotten first mate, a necessary evil of Blackbeard, at some point it becomes very clear that Ed did like Izzy, that he chose to have him around. It's like being back when Ed and Izzy were on the same page, at the height of Blackbeard, their partnership, when things were GOOD.

And of course, Izzy’s going along with all this. He's not telling him anything about the way they're different now, about how they finished breaking their matelotage 6 months back, about how they've been living at arms length for years, about how this simply isn't who they are to each other any more. He couldn't possibly do that, not when he gets to live the best days of his life all over again, just for a few short days. Maybe he'll get a week or two, if he's really lucky.

It's hurting him, obviously, it feels like his heart is being ripped out every time Ed touches him, every time he corners him in the depths of the ship (still so untrusting of this unknown crew- not helped by how they treat Izzy. He sees the side eyes and cruel comments and notices in a way the present version of him never did, too wrapped up in Stede and the madness of this ship) but hey. Izzy’s a masochist. He'll take anything Ed gives him, and he'll especially take this opportunity to have one last taste of what he's lost.

At the time it faded so slowly he didn't realise he was losing it until it was all gone, but he won't make that mistake this time. He knows their time together is limited, and he's going to take every fucking second he can and hold it close forever. If Ed makes him leave after he remembers? After he realises the way Izzy took advantage of him? It's worth it, to have this again, one last time.

[izzyhandslightofmylife]

Punching bag! Izzy is the best type of Izzy I'm so sorry. Like on one hand there's Ed, and Ed is trying so hard to be good, because the Kraken's gone, he's gone, and he doesn't want to take the blame for it so he takes it out on Izzy. Because if there's one thing he knows about Izzy it's that Izzy is loyal, if there's one thing he knows about Izzy it's that Iz loves him. And this is just the way it is. Izzy needs it, or Ed thinks he does, so he takes whatever Ed gives because being hit is better than being ignored.

On the other hand, you have Stede, who's always preaching about kindness and forgiveness on his ship but who still makes fun of Izzy. who still ignores Izzy. who still makes fun of Izzy. Stede who wants so desperately to be seen as a 'real pirate' that he'll do anything to prove it. Stede who also knows that Izzy is loyal to a fault, Stede who loves (or claims to love) his crew and doesn't want to hurt them. Stede who sees Izzy as the one thing he's allowed to hurt because everyone is good and Izzy is always there and Izzy just isn't.

Ed and Stede who refuse to admit that their love isn't the same that it once was. That the separation changed them and that these grand acts of romance won't just fix it. Ed and Stede who don't actually want to talk, don't want to fight because it'd bring up all the pain they caused each other. Ed and Stede who have Izzy, always standing next to them or at their feet, Izzy who's right there and so easy to get mad at when they don't want to get mad at each other.

Izzy who's starving for love and will do anything to get it. Izzy who's so fundamentally convinced that he's unlovable, any scrap of love is accepted even if it comes with unimaginable violence. Izzy trying to protect the crew because the crew are good and he isn't, and they're all so happy with their captains, and he doesn't want to shatter the "family" again.

please, I'm begging you guys, write more of this. Just. Izzy as a punching bag.

[jellybeanium124]

half of izzy's personality is sword (physical violence) and the other half is insult people (verbal violence). his favorite activity and his solution to every problem is violence. he 100% enjoyed attempting to kill stede with his own two hands, and definitely would've enjoyed watching him get shot. he 100% enjoyed bullying lucius too, right up until the end when lucius won. he also enjoyed telling wee john he wasn't going to get rations for a week. it's pretty clear he gets off on abusing his power.

as soon as he sobers up after losing his leg the most important thing to him is getting his sword skills back. two of the three things we see him attempting to teach stede (iirc) is how to do violence better: throw a punch and shoot a gun.

maybe this isn't made 100% explicit in the text, but I think it's a reasonable conclusion to come to that one of the reasons ed keeps izzy around is because izzy is more than willing to do the violence ed doesn't want to do himself. izzy tells ed multiple times he's totally happy to kill stede if ed doesn't want to. we know ed tells his employees to do things he probably couldn't do himself (skin the french captain with a snail fork), and izzy's the kind of guy to take those orders with a spring in his step and a creepy little smile on his face.

anyways that's my post on why izzy is approximately 95% violence by volume. no particular reason why I'm posting this or anything, it's not like some people keep saying the same horrible anticanonical shit about a certain non-izzy character every other week and we keep needing to have this conversation over and over and over and over and will probably keep needing to have this conversation till we're all dead, or anything.

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

wait okay wait stop

when stede punches that guy (so cute) and izzy comes to the door and the editing makes it look like stede is excitedly telling izzy 'i threw a punch :D' and he twirls around all cute.

if you're telling me...if you're even hinting okay, that izzy fucking hands realized he loves ed more than he loves the idea of blackbeard, has a complete change of heart and can't stand the sight of ed heartbroken anymore...

gets up and decides to fucking hunt stede down and starts teaching him how to be a proper pirate and hes the one to help bring the two back together...

because he loves ed and wants him to be happy even if that means sacrificing his own obsession and conceding ed to stede fucking bonnet???

you're gonna have to commit me to the hospital because i'm gonna need fluids.

[figmentof]

saying we don't get to "see" izzy being abusive to Ed enough, as if the disrespectful way in which he talks to/about Ed, his captain, in s1 wasn't already telling us everything we needed to know about their relationship

"the man is half insane" to Fang and Ivan

lying to Ed about telling Stede his boss is Blackbeard

his attempt to gaslight Ed (and the audience) with his "i've managed your increasingly erratic moods, i've massaged this crew when they worried about your judgment" (word for word)

izzy claiming he's always in charge bc Ed can't do his job, when Fang confirms that izzy cannot captain a ship when left in charge

"Bonnet did something to his brain" as if Ed has no agency and can't make his own decisions, this white guy must've brainwashed him

in s2: mocking Ed in private. he's half dead with a leg freshly lopped off and he still has enough breath in him to mock Ed for being too much of a coward to kill himself

why do you feel the need to demand flashbacks of Ed being abused by izzy before Stede was ever in the picture? would seeing that convince you more? or do you just revel in watching a white man torment the indigenous one. was the show canonically making izzy buy Ed from the english not awful enough for you or what. if you want evidence of izzy being physically abusive you can look towards Stede, who he actually stabbed and attempted to kill twice; and, by the way, punches in the stomach in the name of training him in s2. the training results in a whole bunch of nothing at the end too, but that doesn't count right?

[gay-fae]

LIKE JUST. OHHHH MY GOD DEAR ED I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU I LOVE BEING NEAR YOU BREATHING THE SAME AIR FUCK YOU STEDE BONNET DO YOU THINK BLACKBEARD’S GONNA MURDER YOU I DONT CARE WHAT ANY OF YOU SAY HES ACTUALLY A GOOD GUY HES A FUCKING MADMAN IF ANYONE OBJECTS SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE I THINK OF YOU OFTEN I HOPE YOURE THINKING OF ME AS WELL OBJECTION I DID A PUNCH !!!!!!