#AND IN FACT HIS REJECTION IS WRITTEN AS A JOKE AND I DIED OVER IT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sasukesun · 10 months ago

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Hi Bella! This isn’t an ask I just felt like ranting a bit (a lot) because I’ve got a lot of Naruto feelings lately! No analysis just speaking from the heart so some of this might be up for interpretation lol but I’m mostly beating a dead horse here because what more can really be said?

The “so misogynistic it’s gay” phrase everyone likes to parrot is a complete disservice to Kishimoto as an author because how do you write Naruto and Sasuke’s dynamic accidentally when it’s essentially the driving force of the story? You don’t. And I don’t think he’s this raging misogynist people paint him as because he doesn’t really treat the other women with as much disrespect compared to S or H. He’s probably as misogynistic as the average male author or person out of willful ignorance but writing unlikeable and two-dimensional women, I would say, does not a misogynist make because not all of the women here are written with the level of contempt, sexism and mockery as these two. For examples: Temari was also strong, had a brash and unsavory personality and was labeled “scary” by Shikamaru but was a protective older sister and not unlikeable to readers. Ino, who also began as a “girl in love”, fell out of her crush with Sasuke and gained some perspective on her ambitions and affirmations after Asuma died (and she wasn’t the one to drop her friendship over a “rivalry” for a boy that didn’t return either of their feelings… I get it, I was once a kid too but Sakura still being just as childish in adulthood in regards to Gaiden? What a joke, anyways). Tsunade, Konan, and Kushina and all of their individual strengths do not revolve around the acknowledgement of men and their appeals. Their respective love’s, while tragic affairs, were openly reciprocated by their love interests and each aspect of their story was treated with some level of care. So at this point, Kishimoto simply didn’t feel like giving the same romantic grace to NH and SS because SNS was the entire point! of the manga!

The fact that the words Sakura and Hinata share of their shallow infatuations in their confessions are ignored or outright rejected (more than once mind you) actually ring true when they are frequently paralleled in text with how Naruto and Sasuke feel towards each other should be all you need to understand that! Because their devotion to another is believable! Their evolving, MUTUAL, bond and attempts at trying to understand each other throughout the course of 698 chapters is it! That’s the romance! It’s romantic as hell trying to grasp the deepest parts of someone, connecting with them in a way no one else is able to because of a shared experience through different circumstances and defending them when all others have turned their backs; protecting them, dying for them, “bearing the burden of their hatred” and proposing a romantic double-suicide where hopefully in the new world they are absolved of societies failures against their current selves and the ties still bind them (because they’re soulmates); not being able to cut a single person down because they’re your “one and only (friend)” and without them you’d finally be alone but you’ve seen and know what’s in each other’s hearts and you know they’ll never leave you and they’ll stand by you even at the cost of their life; having complimentary sun and moon symbols on the hands of the arms they both respectively lose together in a battle concluded by both of them communicating in depth how they view their relationship outside of simple labels. This is the single most important relationship in the manga. It’s impossible to ignore but OH do people try and draw incorrect conclusions about their connection and love for the other (that’s an entirely different rant).

And even if Kishimoto cared enough to spare a crumb of reciprocation from either male party towards their future “love interests/spouses” or even any sense of S or H actually understanding Naruto and Sasuke beyond attraction and personal convictions, that wouldn’t change; and ultimately kishimoto didn’t because he didn’t care to and that’s obviously not the story he was telling. Naruto as a manga revolves around the natural progression of SNS’ individual motives and aspirations laced with their mutual care and interest for the other. Their interpersonal connections with others mirror and influence their love and understanding of each other.

I think it’s a disservice to say Kishimoto can’t write romance simply because he didn’t develop those two “relationships”; like Minakushi is the staple blatant romance of Naruto (besides SNS) and both SS and NH fans constantly want parellel their bond, mimic tropes, or make banal and superficial comparisons of their favs to Kushina (and Mikoto too which screams insecurity here like please free them from the mediocrity, I beg) because they know it’s the epitome of love in regards to Naruto. But the closest comparison to Minakushi, trope wise, in my opinion, is literally SNS! And if either SS or NH fans had a single canon moment (written by Kishimoto) rivaling anything SNS have together they would be screaming romance at the top of their lungs but instead they cry “brothers/friends” to some of the most romantic text I’ve ever read whilst all they’re given by Kishimoto is eye sex(?) + (brotherly) forehead poke of rejection (“better than a kiss”; my ass) and “big strong hands” over my slave cousin’s corpse + silly contrived movie with imagery Naruto and Sasuke had first and both a plethora of cherry-picked panels taken out of context. It’s just embarrassing!

This comes from a place of neutrality for both S and H as characters tbh because I acknowledge they weren’t meant to be anything more than what we got. I just don’t like their fan bases praising fodder caricatures or their reductive ships because they “got the guy in the end” in extremely dysfunctional “canon” (lavender) marriages. If they would just let them be girl failures and pathetic in peace and regard them properly I wouldn’t mind. However, the constant character revisionism is annoying because I know I’m not missing some grand aspect to either woman. And they’re not “mothering” at all lol let’s be serious! They’re two cheeks of the same spoiled ass unfortunately and that’s just how they’re written— you’re not gaining feminism points for appreciating women written through a sexist lens like I’d argue that’s more misogynistic then just outright disliking them. Sorry! Kishimoto is an author, and like all author’s, he writes with intention. He wrote what he wanted to, how he wanted to and focused on what was important which was SNS. Laughably undeveloped or plain unlikeable characters be damned, Sasuke and Naruto were the main act and not the side show.

There are plenty of genre’s to choose from for interesting and developed female characters that aren’t contributing to male (and female, mind you) fantasies but unfortunately Shounen really isn’t one of them because there’s only isolated cases of actual decent representation across the board. But in regards to Kishimoto’s work, S and H got the butt end of the intentionally-poorly-written-stick compared to the other women and there’s no amount of personal head-canons no one legitimately subscribes to or cries of “you’re misinterpreting her character” that are changing that. My mind, and many other’s, has been made up because we see them for what they are and how they’re actually written.

Alrighty! Convoluted, possibly contradictory and very opinionated rant over. If you read this, you’re a real one LOL I hope all is well!!

i don’t think i have much to add, especially since you put it so well. i talked about the “so misogynistic that it’s gay” plenty of times before, and how nonsense and homophobic that take is, how kishimoto foreshadowing a romantic double suicide has anything to do with sakura being badly written? and that’s just one small example. people act like just because naruto and sakura are on the same team as sasuke, they must have the same importance to him, they expected both naruto and sakura to have the same influence over sasuke, but that’s not what’s written from the beginning, i believe the logic is “naruto and sasuke have a deeper relationship than sasuke and sakura, who has no room for development, that’s why they look gay (on accident)” but stopping at it is shallow, it’s not solely about their relationship being meaningful, while ss (or nh) isn’t, it’s about why it’s meaningful, and more importantly, only being meaningful isn’t enough either to be gay, it’s about why is it gay? why it feels gay? why so many people read it and think “that seems romantic”? naruto is a story that establishes some actions as romantic and then shows naruto and sasuke act exactly how it was established towards each other. did i mention anything about how lacking sakura and hinata are to talk about the nature of their relationship? no, because homosexuality is defined by who you’re attracted to, men are gay because they love other men, women are lesbian because they love other women, and it’s homophobic to say “actually, women are lesbians because they don’t love men”, it’s the same logic of telling a lesbian she just hasn’t found the right man yet. “naruto and sasuke love each other” and “naruto and sasuke don’t love hinata and sakura” are two facts that coexist and don’t have influence over one another.

i did mention that people say sakura has no room for development, but i disagree, sakura does have room for it, she has opportunities to be better, but she isn’t, it’s a deliberate choice from kishimoto, he simply doesn’t want sakura to be in the same position as naruto, he doesn’t want her to be important to sasuke, but giving naruto development while sakura remains inconsiderate (which is one of the reasons why sasuke dislikes her) isn’t inherently misogynistic. and even if he did want her (and hinata) to be better, that wouldn’t change how sasuke feels towards naruto and vice versa. and yes, i do agree with you that kishimoto writes sakura’s and hinata’s characters with mockery, as much as he writes ss and nh, but i believe he does that to leave no room for doubts, and yet… 🤦🏻‍♀️ for real, if people are already in deep denial of narusasu with naruto and sasuke being written that way towards each other while ss and nh suck, imagine if their relationship was written the same way but they were at least friendlier towards sakura and hinata (especially in ss’ case here), no amount of gay subtext would be enough to stop the homophobia and heteronormativity, the denial would be worse. but “sns shippers” really think they are allies when they help with this logic, that gayness is accidental and ss/nh only suck because sakura and hinata are women.

and this isn’t me saying there isn’t misogyny in naruto. misogyny in naruto is rin dying for male angst, is konan outdoing obito and not only dying, but being completely forgotten, almost erased from the story, is tsunade showing a fear of blood during her battle against orochimaru just so it weakens her in that moment and that is never mentioned again, is kushina wanting to be hokage and dropping that for no reason so minato could be, is even hinata being written solely for male wanking, but i can’t agree that naruto and sasuke not loving sakura and hinata is it.

5th and 6th paragraphs are very on point as well, emphasising them here because i couldn’t agree more. the double standards people have in relation to narusasu vs ss/nh is ridiculous and plain homophobia and, contrary to sakura/hinata stans try to say to scare people off by using serious issues, disliking sakura and hinata is not anti feminist or whatever, praising badly written female characters will only contribute to more of this kind of writing, so no thank you. i think i’m just repeating my and yourself at this point, but i feel bad to read a rant as big as this and only reply “i agree with everything!” hah.

#ask

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theboardwalkbody · 4 months ago

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Scripts Thoughts:

1. Roman told Tabitha about the failed launch and how people may have died. Their conversation was never written but in the scripts after he makes the joke about having thumbs and not killing anyone he tells Tabitha no one died. So she knew. I want to know how that original conversation went. Since Roman doesn't like to be vulnerable. Did he joke about it? Was he vulnerable for a second? Did she comfort him? Did he let her comfort him or did he pull away when/if she did? Because maybe he was vulnerable for a split second when he confessed about it but if she tried to comfort him I can see him pulling back like 'no this is too much now'.

2. According to Script World, Roman and Tabitha had only been on 4 dates prior to the wedding. This makes Roman's "let's get married" proposal even more outlandish. And (either way) it reads as "I fall too hard too fast and I'm terrified of being abandoned and if we're married then I can't loose you". Which we do get the idea that that's exactly what he thinks with Tabitha's "do you think this is how you get people to stay?" (Also at first she thought he asked 'for a tax scam' because it was so ludicrous, and that he was using her as arm candy until he was like 'no I actually like you'. This ties into this:

3. In the script Roman's best man speech is very very different. The statement regarding borderline personality disorder was Kieran's change. Which is very interesting considering, from the little I know, he liked to add things to Roman's characterization (such as the disordered eating). Now, add these things: Roman loving fast and asking everyone he falls for to marry him inappropriately fast, his fear of abandonment by those he loves, him rejecting people when they do something that upsets him (ok so, so far this only happened once* with Grace watching the movie he hates which caused him to lash out and break up with her on the spot but I read that very much as splitting), and the fact that he said "I feel nothing at all, it's called borderline personality disorder" during the speech. *In the script Tabitha basically tells him the launch doesn't seem like a big deal or at least she doesn't think so which hurts him and he does "get sharp" in the way he replies to her. This makes her start packing her bag to leave which causes Roman to apologize and recognize he was being sharp and admit it, because he doesn't want her to leave him. So possibly a bit of a split plus lashing out.

Now at first I originally thought, "but BPD makes you feel too much, like the emotions are go big or go home" and completely forgot about the "or go home" side being an actual thing. It actually took me having my therapy appointment this week (in which we discussed my BPD) where we talked about how there are points where I feel empty/numb/shut off. My therapist then explained that that's a Thing with BPD and can come about when feeling overwhelmed emotionally or in response to something overly stressful.

That made me think: Roman was at a wedding. They tend to be emotional especially when it's family. He had very recently asked Grace to marry him which did not go the way he planned. He watched the rocket he worked so hard to expedite so that it could be a perfect just for Shiv explode. He was stressed and anxious beyond belief over the fact that if the explosion killed anyone he would be facing imprisonment. I 100% believe all this emotional overload fully caused him to shut down his emotions at that point. So I fully believe he was feeling nothing and I believe his flippant remark regarding BPD.

I doubt Roman has ever been to therapy and professionally diagnosed but I wonder if he, perhaps, has googled things for himself. Like if he was ever like "why am I like this" but absolutely refuses to be open and vulnerable about it with another human being so he turned to self diagnosis.

So yeah. I am absolutely leaning in to the BPD not being a joke. He's got the fear of abandonment, he's got the feelings of emptyness in tough moments, he seems to have splitting tendencies (again, I know one or two moments doesn't solidify it but I will be keeping an eye out). He does seem to have some explosive moments (again, that scene with Grace at Thanksgiving and the one with Tabitha in the script). *also note, sometimes with BPD the explosions aren't outward but can be inward so rather than lashing out at others you lash out inwardly which is where I sit so I can absolutely see Roman mentally lashing out at himself, too.

Maybe I'm projecting some of this but I think it's very very very interesting too see these traits and then learn that the BPD statement was added by Kieran.

4. There's a part in the script where Roman tells Tabitha that he wishes he was good at something. That he wishes he had ONE thing that he was EXCELLENT at so that he could basically do that one thing perfectly. Which I think is a vulnerable moment for him to admit that.

(sorry long post and sorry for any word/spelling errors I'm on Mobile)

#Roman Roy #oh hyperfixation we're really in it now #oh the romanity #thoughts #long

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callmewisteria · 2 years ago

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Black Butler Headcanons I Came Up With At 3:30AM

i’ve been working on papers for university, and Black Butler has inspired me a lot lately. so, this is the product of my writing/working on a great amount of Black Butler fanfiction alongside my Fairy Tail and Once Upon A Time fanfictions.

Grelle was born to a wealthy family in her human life, and enjoyed the theatre, and specifically the opera, so much that she joined an opera company. However, she could never get any of the more lead female roles she wanted as she was only ever recognised as a man due to being born male. When she was cast as Romeo in an operatic production of Romeo And Juliet, she actually committed suicide on the last night of the production. This is how she became a reaper.

Ciel enjoys watching butterflys, and had wanted to have a butterfly green house when he was a little kid. His parents, Rachel and Vincent, had planned to have this done for his thirteenth birthday, but they died before this could be achieved.

Undertaker begged Sebastian to tell him jokes every day for two years after the first time he did when he, Ciel, Madame Red, and Grelle came to ask him about the Jack The Ripper murders.

Sebastian enjoys getting his hair professionally done. When Ciel allows him free time, one of the things he likes to do is find a stylist to do his hair. This is because he enjoys the scalp massages, as well as the fact that he can get it done whenever he likes, since he can regrow his hair whenever he wants to.

Ciel learnt to oil paint before the death of his parents. Rachel had begun to teach him when he was around three years old. He enjoyed it so much that he became incredibly good at it, though he did not do it after the death of his parents, because he could only think of them when he tried. He ended up snapping his brushes, and had the few of his paintings that survived be hidden after his parents died because he could not bear to look at them anymore.

Shortly before her death, Rachel found some of the written but never sent love letters her sister, Angelina, had for Vincent. Ann was out of town for a few days to visit a patient in the country, and had asked Rachel and Vincent to look over her home. Ciel was with them, but had gone to sleep because it was late. When she had asked Vincent if he had known her sister was in love with him, he said yes, and showed her one of Ann’s letters to him, which had ended with “you consume my waking days, and I will always be happy so long as you are in my life.”

When Ann found out she had miscarried after the carriage accident that killed her husband and nearly killed her, she had been six months pregnant, and demanded to see her dead baby. She broke down upon finally being permitted to, learning she had been pregnant with twin girls. She buried them with their father, and only allowed Rachel and Vincent to attend the funeral.

Grelle had been a knife enthusiast when she was a child, and had been almost giddy when she had learnt she would have a death scythe as a reaper. She just about fainted from excitement when she learnt she was allowed to customise it however she wanted. Her first design was for it to have whirring knives everywhere, but one of them flew off and hit another reaper in the face. She decided on the chainsaw design after being told she could not include knives on her death scythe.

Ciel found out he was allergic to cats after he tried to carry one home to the manor. All was well until the cat got spooked and scratched him up in the face. Angelina, who was visiting at the time, had to help fix him up, amongst the chaos of the frantic Rachel and Vincent.

Grelle had never been able to fall in love until she met Ann. Her biggest fear had been that Ann would reject her once she learnt that Grelle had been born male. However, Ann was the first person to accept Grelle as a woman, and her (secret) girlfriend. Even though Grelle killed her, because they both confessed their love for each other as she died, the last thing she remembered was being with her love. Grelle struggled to feel such passionate and unwavering love afterwards, wondering if something were wrong with her.

Ann and Grelle both knew that, if caught, there was a chance Ann would be handed over to the authorities, and subsequently executed for their crimes. When Ann couldn’t bring herself to kill Ciel, it was an act of suicide, and so, when Grelle lashed out and killed her, Ann committed suicide. She wandered aimlessly and frightened for years as a reaper, discombobulated, and frightened by whatever awaited her on the outside whenever she had to reap. After several years, however, she and Grelle were reunited by chance, and were able to rekindle their romance.

Sebastian’s distaste for Grelle stemmed not only for her being a reaper and the crimes she committed with Ann, but from her overly theatrical personality. He was not shocked, but disappointed, when he eventually learnt that Grelle had been a part of the opera in her human life.

Ciel despises all holidays, and becomes infuriated when anyone, even the queen, brings them up in his presence.

Sebastian once fell through the ceiling after an accident with the other servants of the Phantomhive manor. Ciel laughed, not particularly annoyed by the disturbance because of how absolutely ridiculous Sebastian looked in the process of getting back up while the other servants panicked.

Ciel had a replica of his favourite childhood toy made after his return to the manor. While secretive about it, he holds it tightly to his chest every night when he goes to sleep. For Ciel’s sake, Sebastian pretends to be completely unaware of this.

Sebastian has a very low tolerance for spice, and gets annoyed whenever it becomes apparent to anyone else. Ciel is greatly amused by this.

Grelle secretly attended Ann’s funeral, and, in a moment where she was able to be alone with her, laid in her coffin with her. She hugged her, and took a short nap beside her one last time. When she woke up upon hearing people coming, she kissed Ann one last time before disappearing to, distractedly, carry out her work for the day as a reaper.

William made the mistake of trying to bribe Grelle by temporarily stealing the coat she took from Ann after killing her. Grelle went absolutely berserk, and William never brought up the subject of what happened that night, or Grelle’s obsession with the coat again.

Grelle took Ann’s coat because she could not bear to go through her life as a reaper without something of the woman who taught her how to love fully, and fearlessly.

Vincent always enjoyed doing his wife’s hair, and Rachel indulged him though he was not particularly good at it. He knew it, but kept doing it anyways when he realised it always made Ciel smile and laugh.

After becoming a reaper, Grelle taught herself all of the instruments she wished she could have learnt while in her human life, including the violin, guitar, piano, and harp. Though few people knew about it, one of Ann’s favourite things was watching and listening to Grelle sing and play her instruments.

Ciel had always loved poetry from the day he learnt to read when he was around three years old. After the death of his parents, he grew quite attached to the work of Edgar Allan Poe, and always carries a copy of his three favourite poems in his pockets.

Sebastian secretly keeps a small army of cats in the basement of the Phantomhive manor, sneaking off to play with and care for them every chance he gets. Ciel is completely unaware of this because of how meticulous Sebastian is about hiding it.

Rachel once punched a man in the streets before hitting him with her parasol for attempting to kidnap Ciel for ransom when he was about seven. No one in London ever tried to mess with her again.

Rachel had longed to be a ballerina as a child, and, though she was never able to perform as part of a company, Vincent learnt to dance Swan Lake with her, and they would do it themselves every so often when they were alone because he adored how happy it made her.

Grelle likes throwing axes. Not at people, just trees and inanimate objects. All of the other reapers find this particular hobby of hers to be rather bizarre, but don’t question it out of the slight fear that she will start throwing axes randomly at them, seemingly out of nowhere.

Grelle takes halloween almost too seriously. Ciel is quickly exasperated by it, and Sebastian often finds it to be somewhat frightening.

Undertaker once brought a coffin to the Phantomhive Manor with Grelle inside as a prank. Grelle nearly scared the living daylights out of Ciel and Sebastian, and informed Sebastian that it was his ride to the next world, and it had a hole in the bottom if he weren't quite ready to go. Sebastian then told Grelle he was grateful that he would never see her in hell.

Undertaker is obsessed with drinking copious amounts of lemonade. No one knows why, and everyone is too afraid to ask.

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just-my-fandom · 4 years ago

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Could we possibly get some Paladin dating HC's? (with your choice of characters)

Date started; January 15, 2021

Date posted; January 28, 2021

Oof, I haven’t written for them in such a long time. Might be a little rusty. I did my main three favorites, Keith, Pidge and Hunk. Xx

We’re finally getting things posted, folks.

Keith

You and Keith met before the paladins were put together.

Went through the Garrison together; both hotheads- and somehow you both clicked

Maybe it’s cause you both got a punch out of James Griffin

When the team was brought together and Allura and Coran started training everyone, you and Keith would share looks of dread.

The team didn’t even know you two were together tbh

Lance found out first ofc

He’d run into Keith’s room to wake him up to go to the upside down pool or something

And find you and Keith both in Keith’s bed

Lances first reaction is shouting at you and waking you up, you confused and drowsy while Keith is just irritated for getting woken up,

Keith quickly realizes you don’t have a shirt on

Protect Keith where he pulls you against him and demands Lance to leave in the next five seconds

The team lets you hear it at breakfast

“Since when was this happening?” -Pidge

“Since before we even knew you existed,” -You

“Okay, not completely surprised. You’re literally different genders of each other,” -Hunk

“I thought you guys were siblings,” -Lance, while face palming

The team then realizes that the way Keith is protective over you isn’t just friendship

When you find out Keith is part Galra, you honestly aren’t phased,

“This doesn’t bother you?” -Keith

“Should it?” -You

You meeting Krolia and getting along instantly

“What do you see in him?” -Krolia

“Honestly, idk,” -You

“I’m literally right here,” -Keith

When the team sets down on Earth, you and Keith don’t really have anyone to come home to besides the Commander

(Your family left you on your own at a young age. Another reason why you get along with Keith)

You, Keith and James all making up

James teasing about how you and Keith finally getting together

Ofc Keith gets jealous once you and James become actual friends

“Babe, it’s only you,” -You

Once Earth is saved, you and Keith get a place together and just settle on it being just you two

Plus Kosmo ofc

Pidge

You met Pidge when the Paladins were brought together

You figured out pretty quickly that Pidge was indeed a female

You promised to keep it secret until she was ready to out the rest of the team ofc.

Y’all didn’t realize your feelings for one another until one of you almost died on a mission

After that, you both struggle with separation anxiety for each other

While it’s cute you guys are always at the hip, it can get annoying sometimes when they need one of you specifically for a part of a mission

You meet her family when you all touch down to Earth.

Pidges mother is already in love with you.

Matt just loves the fact that he basically has two sisters now

Her dad is happy as long as Pidge is happy

You both definitely cry tears of joy when Zarkon is defeated.

Hug each other for hours.

Once Earth is saved, you and Pidge get an apartment together.

Snuggles

Kisses

Stealing Pidges glasses although they fuck up your vision

The cute shit you know?

Hunk

You and Hunk grew up together.

Went to the Garrison together, got lost in space together, you know the drill.

It takes a lot of time to get you two to actually start dating.

You’re worried your mental health will break you two apart after being away from home for so many years

He’s worried of being rejected and losing your friendship of over ten years.

You don’t actually start “dating” until Hunk finds you homesick, and one thing leads to another and you’re kissing.

Lots of teary giggles in that moment.

“Wait, you like like me?”

“Yes, Hunk, I like like you,”

You and Hunk cook together. Him meals and you sweets.

You get low key jealous when Hunk tells you about Shay.

“You’re not gonna ditch me for her, are you?”

“Babe, no one can replace you,”

His mother is ecstatic when she finds out you’re together

“Dios mio, finally!!” [Oh my god]

“Mom,”

Hunk proposes to you literally during battle.

“Y/N, if we make it out of here, Imma marry you,”

“Are you seriously proposing right now?”

“Yes?”

“Guess we gettin’ married then,”

You do. Like literally two weeks after battle.

Y’all would have cute kids no joke.

Okay I’m done.

#hunk garrett one shot #hunk garrett imagine #hunk garrett x reader #keith kogane x reader #Keith Kogane imagine #Keith Kogane one shot #Pidge holt #Pidge x reader #Pidge imagine #Pidge one shot

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the-ferocious-kittyrose · 4 years ago

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My complicated opinion on Keith Kogane

Keith Kogane is definitely one of the more popular characters in the VLD fandom. People love brooding emo bad boys.

My feelings on Keith are... complicated. I definitely don’t hate him. I have a lot of problems with the character but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to actually hate him. Mainly because I kinda relate to him. We both have problems controlling our emotions, interacting with people, and making friends.

And we both have trouble believing there are people who truly have our best interests at heart and won’t abandon us because we’re a burden.

What I do hate is the way his character was written and the way it negatively impacted the characters around him.

There are definitely a lot of factors that contributed to VLD ending up the way it did. But to me, Keith and the writers insistence on pushing him to the forefront was the poison that killed the show.

Ok, before we get into this whole rant I feel like I should talk about the things I do like about Keith.

I like the premise of Keith’s character. He’s half Galra and never really fit in on Earth. He didn’t act like the other “normal” kids so kids made fun of him and adults didn’t want to deal with him. So in order to protect himself from the pain of rejection he would put up a tough angry facade and push people away and reject them before they could reject him.

This is something that really resonates with me personally having grown up neurodivergent. It’s awful growing up in a world that isn’t made for people like you and not knowing how to interact with or connect with your peers. Especially when you don’t know why you’re like that.

You learn to avoid social interaction because it always ends up negative. You put up walls because you don’t feel like anybody understands you or what you’re going through.

I know the writers probably didn’t intend to code Keith as neurodivergent. They just wanted Keith to be a hothead with abandonment issues, but nonetheless, this interpretation means a lot to me.

I also really like his relationship with Shiro. Keith is so used to being left behind and abandoned that when he meets someone like Shiro who’s patient and genuinely cares it’s new and strange. He’s so ready for Shiro to abandon him, even telling Shiro to send him back to the home, but Shiro refuses to leave him and tells Keith ethat he’s never going to give up on him.

It’s also interesting to see how their relationship develops over time. It’s clear Keith trusts Shiro, but you can tell that that fear of abandonment is still there deep down. In S2, Keith tells Shiro that he’s like a brother to him, and then in season 6, he takes the extra step and tells Shiro that he IS his brother and that he loves him. And for someone like Keith, telling their friend they love them is a big scary thing.

And also it’s just great to see a platonic “I love you,” especially between two guys. Don’t be afraid to tell your bros you love them!!!

Now let’s talk about the stuff I didn’t like.

Keith doesn’t have much going for him in terms of personality. He’s just sorta brooding and serious all the time. He does make jokes occasionally but it’s rare. The writers were more focused on making him cool and badass rather than fun.

I always loved the idea of Keith as a cocky carefree asshole who doesn’t give a shit about rules/laws and is kinda rude/aggressive but has a heart of gold deep down and would do anything for the people he cares about. (Just like a cat.)

I would also make him more alien esc. In terms of design I like the idea of Keith having red eyes with narrow pupils and fangs. And also just small things like the way he walks and holds himself. He growls and bears his teeth when he’s angry, his hair puffs up when scared, he’s fast and agile, disappearing and reappearing without making much noise, small things.

Then you have his race and sexuality. I have no doubt in my mind that Keith was intended to be a straight white dude. A lot of people see him as gay and Asian but there’s no evidence for this in canon. Acxa was originally intended to be his love interest and his race was never mentioned in canon. His name isn��t even Kogane in canon. (And the race of the voice actor doesn’t equal the race of the character. If that was the case Shiro, Hunk, and Lance would be white.)

They should’ve totally made Keith Japanese like he was in the original. It would’ve been so easy! Just canonize Kogane as his last name and have the book say he’s half Japanese half Galra. They could’ve also done what they did with Shiro and keep his og GoLion name. Just have him be Akira Kogane. Definitely cooler than “Keith.”

And as for his sexuality, I definitely think they should’ve had Keith be gay. But well get to that Later...

I also don’t like how they handled the whole Krolia thing. Not only was it crazy rushed, but it completely goes against the shows theme of found family.

Keith’s arc should’ve been about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to accept the paladins as family. But instead they just get rid of the abandonment issues by just giving him his mom back.

I know a lot of people love Krolia but I don’t feel like she should’ve been introduced in anything other than flashbacks. Because Keith’s mom isn’t really that important. The show is about found family and friendship, not blood relation.

You can definitely have Keith learn about his mom and his family, but I feel like giving him his mom back was too much.

Personally, I always headcanoned that Kolivan was Keith’s grandfather or just a close friend of Krolia’s, and when Keith showed up at the Blade’s base Kolivan recognized the blade as his Krolia’s. Keith could learn about his mom through Kolivan telling him about her, how she was a great person and warrior who died fighting to make the universe a safer place for her son.

Another thing I didn’t like was the whole Keith leaving the team for the Blades thing. I know why he did it, he felt like the team was gonna reject him, he wanted to be more useful, and wanted to learn about his family, but I feel like you could’ve touched on all that without having him abandon his team.

One of the biggest problems with the show is that they did a bad job at establishing the paladins as friends, they feel like coworkers more than anything, and I feel like Keith being absent for two seasons contributed to that.

And his absence is hardly addressed. The team forms Voltron perfectly without him and no one ever says they miss him. Keith doesn’t even seem like he missed them after being gone for two years.

And a lot of the weight was taken out of that Keith v Kuron fight by the fact that Keith and Kuron hardly interacted.

That whole thing amounted to four things, Keith meeting Krolia (which I don’t think should’ve happened), them finding the colony (which was a dumb plot I don’t think should’ve happened), Keith aging up two years (which was weird and unnecessary), and Keith meeting Kosmo (which is... complicated).

I don’t think this plot was necessary. Keith should’ve stayed with his team.

Then you have his relationship with Lance. I know people are very sensitive about this topic. People have very strong opinions about whether or not Keith and Lance were intended to be romantically coded.

Personally, I do like Klance but I don’t believe they were romantically coded. I think if you want them to get together some things would have to go differently.

For example, the bonding moment. In canon, Lance tells Keith, “we make a good team.” I don’t see this as referring to him and Keith. I think he was talking about the whole team. If you want it to be about the two of them, I feel like it should be Lance telling Keith something like, “ya know, you’re not so bad after all,” and then Keith smiles and responds, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Another example could be the scene where Lance comes to Keith with his insecurities. (Whether it’s as a leader or a friend.) This scene was weird in canon, Lance comes to Keith for advice and Keith basically tells him to just stop thinking about it.

I would prefer if Lance brought up to Keith how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough or that he doesn’t have, “a thing,” and Keith is completely dumbfounded like, “what are you even talking about?” He goes on about all the good shit about Lance. Talks about how Blue chose him, how he’s a great shot, how he’s good at dealing with people, meanwhile Lance is standing there in shock as Keith says all these nice things about him.

Over all you would just have to develop their relationship more. More meaningful interactions. And if you want the relationship to be romantic you would have to establish that early on. Establish that one or both has romantic feelings for the other in like S1/S2 because if you wait too long it’s gonna feel forced/out of no where.

And then... you have the Black Paladin arc... I’m gonna be real with y’all, this is the arc that killed the show for me, for a few reasons.

One, even ignoring the whole quintessence bond thing, it makes no sense for Keith to be the bp. He doesn’t fit the role. I adore Shiro but choosing Keith as his successor was a dumb move. I get that he saw potential in Keith but they’re are fighting a war, there’s no room for favoritism.

Shiro should’ve chosen Allura as his successor. Not only does she have actual leadership experience, but you would only have one paladin in a new Lion instead of three.

If a lifeguard breaks his leg and can’t work, he should choose an experienced swimmers to take his place, not his little bro that’s still in water wings in the hopes that it’ll teach him to swim.

Two, Keith being the bp doesn’t help his arc. Keith’s arc is about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to be a team player, he doesn’t need to be the leader for that.

VLD should’ve been about the paladins growing into the best versions of themselves they could be. Their development shown by unlocking new abilities in their respective lions, new forms for their bayards, and new Voltron bayard power ups. They shouldn’t have to change lions and themselves.

Keith and Red have a strong bond and work great together. Keith and Red are both temperamental, unpredictable, and have issues with trust. Keith having to fight to get Red to trust and open up to him mirrors how others have to fight to earn Keith’s trust and get him to let down his walls.

It would’ve been interesting to see them grow together. Keith has no emotional connection with Black.

We never even get to see them bond. Keith just suddenly becomes the “perfect” bp/leader because he got over his mommy issues

Three, it’s a MASSIVE disservice to Shiro’s character. Shiro put all the work in earning his position as the bp, he literally fits fought Zarkon on the astral plane to earn her trust, yet Keith is the true bp? What?

It sucks. Sendak told Shiro that a monster like him could never be a paladin and the writers went and proved him right. Hell Shiro didn’t even get to kill Sendak, Keith got that too.

And don’t tell me, “but he got the Atlas!” REALLY!? A massive Deus ex machina that required absolutely no effort from him to acquire!? Filled with a bunch of rando background characters no one gives a shit about!? You’re totally right, that 100% makes up for it.

I could go on and on about how the treatment of Shiro in this show (and fandom) is blatantly ableist but that’s a rant for another time.

It sucks. I want to like Keith! He had the potential to be an amazing character but the writers just kept on trying to turn him into something he wasn’t and it ruined him for me.

They kept trying to turn Keith into the main character and ignored that ALL the paladins are the main characters. It’s an ensemble cast! You don’t have to have everything come back to one guy.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary discourse #vld #vld critical #keith kogane #keith vld #red paladin keith #klance #krolia #black paladin shiro #takashi shirogane #vld shiro #black lion #red lion #galra #galra keith #blade of marmora

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in-tua-deep · 4 years ago

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SO i watched the old guard and loved it and i have a habit of combining things i love and it’s 1am and i can’t get to sleep until i purge this from my brain i think SO consider this

Five jumps in time into the apocalypse and - he dies. Of course he dies. Maybe it’s the time jump itself, managing to rip himself apart because he tried too much too soon. Maybe it’s the apocalypse itself that kills him. Regardless, he dies.

And then he wakes up. And he’s fine. And he continues on.

Except - he has weird dreams. He dreams of - of all these people? He dreams that they’re in the apocalypse as well. It’s weird. He would brush it off but, well, he keeps dreaming of them. Again. And again. And again.

(He likes dreaming of them, honestly. When he doesn’t dream of them he dreams of ash and fire and his siblings dead and decaying and wailing at him for failing them.)

He continues to live in the apocalypse and years pass and - he’s not getting older. He cuts his leg open on some rocks, and it heals way too quickly. All of his injuries are like that, actually.

(He spends a whole week starving to death over and over again once. It isn’t pretty. He doesn’t even know he’s dying.)

Eventually he comes to a conclusion - his time jump fucked him up. He’s in a permanent... stasis? Sort of? He keeps continuously returning to the state he was when he jumped through time, including his body now? Rejecting injuries? Presumably because he wasn’t injured when he jumped?

It makes sense to Five, shhh.

And then he gets picked up by the commission. and then he doesn’t shoot JFK. and then he goes home.

(He keeps dreaming about His People. They aren’t in the apocalypse when he isn’t, which is nice. They’re probably some weird manifestation of his subconscious, considering his brain keeps casting them as people during the time periods he’s visiting)

Now I know what you’re thinking - Five is dreaming about these glorious weirdos in the apocalypse, obviously they would try to find him because they’re dreaming about him as well, right?

See, the thing is this: Andy doesn’t remember the exact date she first had a dream about The Boy.

(The Boy definitely deserved the capital letters, because he’s the weirdest enigma that they never solved.)

But she remembers her and Quynh being horrified because - the next immortal was a child? They freaked out about it and tried to write everything down they could remember to help them hunt the kid down.

And they tried - they did! for a whole three days! except after those three days the dreams just - stopped. cold. nothing new.

This was, of course, super super confusing. And maybe they would have written it off as a shared hallucination if it didn’t keep happening.

There’s no pattern to when they dream of the kid. It just happens. Sometimes a few times in a year. Sometimes there’s decades or centuries between dreams. The first time Nicky and Joe dream of him, Andy has to sit them down and explain that no, don’t worry about it. Yes she knows that it’s a child. No, he’s not a new immortal. They’ll stop dreaming about him in a few days, a week tops, it’s fine. No, she doesn’t know What The Fuck That Is About.

By the time Nile joins the team it’s sort of a weird inside joke. There’s longstanding bets about when the boy will pop up in their dreams again. It’s fine. Okay, so it’s weird, but their lives are already so goddamn weird.

(So imagine the old guard fresh in the apocalypse, no human life on earth. they’re dreaming about the boy again, and the only weird thing now is the consistency of it. maybe they’re in europe or something, but most of the planes have been destroyed in whatever-the-fuck took out the population of the whole ass world. it might have taken years to literally find and dig each other out of the rubble. yeah it’s weird the boy is not a frequent dream thing, but it’s not like it’s urgent.)

Anyway, Five jumps into his family’s courtyard and stumbles out, and eats and peanut butter and jelly sandwich, avoids questions about his age by rambling about quantum versions of himself, and goes to Griddy’s where he ends up getting attacked by commission goons and having to walk home barefoot because he had to ditch his shoes

(The Commission couldn’t put a tracker in his arm. His body kept rejecting them somehow, thanks to his... weird temporal nonsense. The Handler kept promising him that they’d find a way to fix him or whatever, but they never did. Assholes.)

Now, the Old Guard squad go to sleep and, thank you, start dreaming of Five in all his somewhat feral glory.

They bolt awake and - “You guys owes me so much money.” Nicky crows victoriously, because he totally won the pot on the next kid dream year, thank you very much.

And any other time that would be the end of it, because they’re used to these fleeting dreams of the boy.

Except Nile exists now. And of course she’s like, we have to find this kid.

Of course the others try to explain to her - except Nile points out a very important fact: it might have taken weeks or months or years to find other immortals back in the day due to travel times and lack of information and all that. But it’s 2019 baby. They have the internet and very fast plane travel. Did you have that when Booker was a baby immortal? no. it took them like, a day to go hunt Nile down though.

“You say you dream about him for a few days or a week or whatever.” Nile points out to the group’s dawning realization, “Well we have the power to get to him in a few days. So we can find him.”

“If we find him then we can never bet on him again though.” Booker points out, and Nicky who is in the process of gloating about his latest win (Nicky has won three times in a row motherfuckers) looks a bit crestfallen. Andy, on the other hand, just looks determined.

“Get off your asses.” Nile says firmly, spinning her laptop around and showing them the one (1) result for a “Griddy’s Diner” that she found that matches whatever the fuck the dream showed her, “We’re going to America.”

“Again?” Nicky complains, “I thought we swore to not go to America again for at least a century.”

(Until Nile’s family definitely dies, they don’t say.)

So they all begrudgingly go to America, during which time Five manages to get called potentially insane by his favorite sister, not get any sleep, bribe his brother to investigate an eye that doesn’t exist, and mourn losing his one lead to who the fuck started the apocalypse.

I don’t think Five or the og squad were expecting to actually meet.

But they’re hunting Five down and looking around and Five is pondering his next move and then just - across the street, their eyes meet.

“YOU.” The OG squad bellows, because Five has been a goddamn mystery for literally thousands of years.

“Me?” Five says, very confused, like someone who has definitely had trauma induced hallucinations and flashbacks whose dream characters decided to show up on the street outside his house for some reason.

And they go over to Five, and Five is like “wow what a weird hallucination to be having, maybe if i ignore it it’ll go away because that’s a healthy mindset to have (:”

and then one of them touches him and just -

Five lashes out. It’s instinctive. He has a knife and he just - stabs. Automatically. and his dream person winces and steps back and -

(He stabbed his dream person. Hallucinations don’t touch him they’re not supposed to touch him and they can’t be stabbed what - )

And then the dream person heals before his eyes.

“I probably deserved that.” Booker muses, grimacing at the hole in his new shirt thank you very much.

“You’re not real.” Five says a little too loudly and a little too insistently to sound at all convincing as he takes a step backwards.

“I’m not real? You’re not real!” Nicky butts in, slightly offended, “You’re the one that keeps - keeps vanishing!”

“Oh my god why are you all disasters.” Nile mourns putting her face in her palms as though she can block out her new weird family by sheer force of will.

“Hey, remember when you died?” Andy offers with a shrug which just makes Nile groan louder. “What’s that about? I’m not even shooting him this time.”

“You can’t shoot him, he’s a baby.” Joe gasps, gesturing towards Five’s thirteen-year-old self.

“I’m not a baby!” Five snaps, bristling on autopilot because the rest of his brain function is stuck on a repeat of “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”

“Baby boy. Baby.” Nicky backs his husband up, leaning against Joe and smirking.

“Am not!” Five growls, “And give me my knife back!”

“Finder’s keepers.” Booker says nonchalantly, spinning said knife in his fingers, “If you didn’t want me to have it then you shouldn’t have stabbed me with it.”

“It’s my brother’s knife, you can’t have it.” Five argues.

“Booker.” Andy says firmly, making Booker shrink a little like a scolded child, “Give the kid the knife back. How would you feel if I took your gun?”

“You wouldn’t take my gun.” Booker mutters, handing an increasingly confused Five the knife back, “I would simply shoot you.”

“Ooh,” Nicky snickers, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

“Don’t encourage them.” Joe says, nudging at Nicky. Which would be fine if he hadn’t added in a slightly lower tone that they could all still hear, “Fifty on Andy.”

“That’s a sucker’s bet, my love.” Nicky laughs, pressing a kiss to Joe’s cheek.

There’s a beat of silence.

“No offense, but what the fuck is going on.” Five states rather than asks, clutching his slightly stolen knife (Diego didn’t even notice when he’s snagged it which honestly means he didn’t deserve to keep the weapon) tight to his chest. “Are you guys... with the Commission?”

“What the fuck is the Commission?” Joe does not whisper to Booker, who is supposed to be the research guy but he just shrugs because he’s useless.

Anyway that’s how the whole Old Guard squad winds up in Reginald Hargreeves creepy ass mansion trying to explain to an increasingly erratic immortal child that, yeah, he’s a little bit immortal. No it doesn’t have anything to do with his powers (powers?? powers??????? what the fuck i mean yes their lives are already so goddamn weird but there is a line and Booker draws it at teleportation what the fuck).

What’s this about an apocalypse?

(When they asked Five for his age, they were not expecting a curt ‘fifty-eight, probably’. Yes they are now aware there is funky time travel involved - which honestly explains so much about the frequently vanishing immortal - but still.

He looks baby but also he is baby. He’s younger than Booker!! Not even a century! They have two whole babies on the immortal squad !!)

“The world is going to end on April 1st.” Five explains, looking deeply uncomfortable. And afraid.

(And young. So very terribly young. He’s been thirteen-years-old for a long time. If these people are right - he’s going to remain thirteen until his immortality, what, wears off? Which could be literally thousands of years in the future?

He has family god damnit. He doesn’t want to outlive them. He just - he just wanted to see them again. To save them.)

And honestly why not. Five has already demonstrated teleportation. Time travel does explain his random popping into their lives via dreams. Why not? And let’s be real, they have way much more to lose by not believing him than believing him.

“Alright let’s stop an apocalypse.” Andy says, clapping her hands together.

“You’re going to help?” Five asks in a small voice, because he had sort of resigned himself to going at it alone.

“Give me the number for the eye.” Nile says kindly, “We have someone we could contact about that sort of thing, or at the very least who can keep an eye out for when it is manufactured and let us know.”

(RIP Copley when he realizes he has to deal with anything involving the Umbrella Academy. I am sure they were a very deep thorn in the governments side for a long time tbh)

“Who The Fuck Are All These People In Our Living Room.” Luther asks, Very Loudly, with Allison close behind.

And yeah. No one really knows how the fuck to answer that, let’s be real. What are they supposed to say? Hey, sorry for crashing, we’re here to lowkey kidnap your newly re-found brother because surprise! he’s immortal! Because that would go over so well.

Anyway, so the Old Guard squad are just there like,, trying to teach Five about his newfound immortality (at least he’s got good at the whole “fuck cameras” thing during his stint in the commission, though admittedly there were plenty of mission from pre-camera times. ah, the age before technology.) and also adopt him? because being immortal means family and family means no one gets left behind (or forgotten, hello Quynh)

(okay yeah they tried to put Booker in time out that one time but after a few years they were just sad and everyone was texting him anyway so now it’s just something they bring up at every opportunity. Joe wants the first turn in the bathroom? Booker, you betrayed him. He was a lab rat, Booker. And on and on until Booker throws up his hands and gives in. Yes, fine, you can have the bathroom first.)

And the Umbrella Academy usually would leave Five to his own devices but... look. Five might have vanished for seventeen years or whatever but he’s still their brother and they can be surprisingly territorial.

At least some people are getting along like a house on fire.

(“You were a crusader?” Klaus asks with wide eyes, “How does that even work?”

“What, being gay?” Nicky asks, tilting his head, “It’s fine. I have a permit.”

“A permit.”

“Mmhmm. From the Pope and everything.”

“I kind of want to be you when I grow up.”)

I can’t tell if things would go more smoothly or if the fuck ups would be even more epic in proportion. On the bright side, the apocalypse probably wouldn’t happen because Andy and Nile immediately clock Leonard-Harold’s serial killer vibes.

(Leonard realizes they’re onto him and tries to kill them which is a big mistake lmao, bye bye Leonard)

It probably ends up in an all out war against the Commission honestly, and the OG squad and the Umbrella Academy teaming up to destroy it.

(“How is this even going to work?” Allison asks at one point, gesturing at Five and the old guard.

“Shared custody?” Joe suggests brightly before doubling over because Five has pointy elbows and is not afraid to use them.)

Andy and Five probably go feral together at one point and it sure is something to behold.

“Now that is a kid who understand what a signal is.” Booker admires after a particularly large explosion happens. Nile just nods along because yeah.

(“How come you guys get to call Five a kid without being stabbed?” Klaus complains.

“He isn’t even a century old. I’m 250 and I was the youngest until Nile popped up.” Booker shrugs.

“We’re in our 950s.” Nicky says, “If little Cinque does not want to be called a kid he should have been born earlier.”

“How old is hot axe woman?” Klaus asks, absolutely enraptured.

They OG squad all exchange a look and just collectively shrug, “Old as balls.”

“Besides,” Booker says dismissively, “What’s he going to do about it? Kill us?”

and that ends that conversation)

(They also don’t discuss how young Five is. How young he was when he died. How that’s going to effect him all his life. How he’s going to be old in years, but he’s always going to be thirteen in the same way that Nile is stuck in her 20s. Sometimes it seems like the immortals are getting younger and younger in age and... it sucks.)

anyway just. Old Guard and Umbrella Academy shenanigans as they stop the apocalypse and try to look after the semi-feral teenager they have been saddled with and figure out what comes next

#far tua long #long post #tog/tua crossover #and then klaus died and wakes up and andy throws her hand up #'THREE? IN LIKE ONE DECADE?' she demands #STOP BEING IMMORTAL #quynh arrives and she and five probably get along like a house on fire tbh #five: yeah being horrifically alone and somewhat frequently dying kind of sucked now that i think about it #quynh: hmm. my child now.#granted quynh's experience was like. horrifically worse? in it's own way?#five's was nothing to sneeze at but daMN QUYNH #who knows maybe the umbrella academy are who finds quynh #they have money #why not go on a captain america esque search for a random immortal in the ocean #they found steve rogers eventually they might as well find quynh amiright #five wants to stay with him family but also like #his family aren't exactly road tripping together and singing songs around the fireplace #they have their own lives #nicky holding up five: bastard #nile: NO #joe: bastard baby. brat boy.#nile: NOO #the old guard are a disaster family and you can pry that from my cold dead hands #anyway it's 1am so have this #andy: hey copley we have a new immortal for you to erase the tracks of #booker wants to be relieved he is DEFINITELY no longer that baby of the family with TWO whole babier immortals #but let's be real he still totally is #joe: FIVE never betrayed us #booker: five would literally sell you to satan for one cornchip #booker: please stop bringing that up at every opportunity

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nevermindirah · 3 years ago

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Dorothy Freeman facts

By facts I of course mean headcanons, because Nile's mom doesn't get a first name in canon (or even confirmation that her last name is Freeman). All we know about her is the picture on Nile's phone lock screen (which is Kiki Layne's real-life mom and brother!) and a few lines that Nile tells Andy about her. I’ve been collecting my Dorothy headcanons for a while now to eventually make a post, and @mprosperossprite‘s excellent post giving non-Americans context for what it means that Nile is from the South Side of Chicago prompted me to go ahead and share this. Disclaimer that I’m white and I will absolutely make corrections if it’s pointed out that I’ve caused harm with any of this.

So here have some fun facts about the version of Mama Freeman who lives in my head rent-free:

Her family and growing up:

she was born in the mid-'60s and named after Dorothy Dandridge

I can’t decide whether she was born in Chicago or moved there later on (maybe with Nile’s dad?) and when in the waves of the Great Migration her family left the South

she came of age in the "post"-Civil Rights movement and went to college in the mid-80s when a lot of what are now the foundational classics of Black feminism were being written

she was a young adult when Anita Hill risked so much to report that a Supreme Court nominee had sexually harassed her, and as a result she HATES Joe Biden

Marriage and babies:

she met Nile's father — I can’t decide how they met and I have two competing headcanons for his name, either Gideon for the hefty Biblical masculinity vibes (Giddy for short among family, that man loved to laugh) or Carl, which started out as a shitty Carl’s Jr burger chain joke that turns out to be perfect (it means free man!), and @knoepfchen used it in the sequel to if you do take a thief where Carl is alive!! — and Dorothy was a little skeptical of his near-religious devotion to the military but he was really hot and really devoted to her and they made it work

she's a little pissed that she was right but it's unbearable if she thinks about it too often

it's going to be a long, long time before she can look back on pictures of Baby Nile stomping around the house in her dad's combat boots (this is a Gina Prince Bythewood headcanon, whyyyyyyyy can I not find a link to where she said this)

she named their second baby Indus, Indy for short (this is nearly as established fanon in Book of Nile circles as how much Booker loves eating pussy, and Indy Freeman as a young adult is portrayed by either Aldis Hodge or John Boyega I don’t make the rules)

Work:

Dorothy did some office jobs but nothing really grabbed her, and she was probably gonna have to move for her husband's career, so she decided on teaching — high school humanities

she’s been active in CTU (one of the strongest teacher’s unions in the US) her whole career and one year she was on the bargaining committee and her babies know damn well never to trust a boss, not even one who says all the right things — if she ever finds out the way Nile said "like Quynh?" when Andy promised to protect her, she will lose her mind with pride

(Nile was 18 and freshly graduated from high school in 2012 when CTU went on strike for the first time in a generation and she brought her mom snacks on the picket line)

one of her very favorite things is getting her students to laugh despite themselves at her "oh my GOD you're so EMBARRASSING" old-people jokes

she's one of those teachers who can get 30+ teenagers to go dead silent with judicious application of body language

she's known to occasionally go easy on grading subjective things like essays when she knows students are having a particularly rough time at home, but the second she gets the feeling they're taking advantage and not trying their best that shit is over and they better mind their Ps & Qs

she's the kind of person who says old-people shit like that

she gives her students assignments like "help 5 neighbors register to vote" and "write a compare/contrast table about the candidates in this local election" and "research 5 different ways you could get grant money to do X" and other practical civic-minded shit

standardized testing is her supervillain origin story, just kidding it’s Rahm Emanuel, why the fuck did Obama trust that asshole

After her husband died:

she would have lost her goddamn mind if it weren't for her church friends after her husband died, people from the church raised money so they could make ends meet while his pension paperwork was taking forever, church friends watched Indy so Nile could go out for the soccer team, etc etc

she sold her and her late husband's house and moved to a 3-bedroom co-op unit when Nile started high school, it's more affordable and it meant she didn't have to worry about household repairs in the same way, she can use a wrench if she needs to but she doesn't have time and it just makes her grief flare up (co-op housing has a long history in Chicago and other US cities (like Washington DC where I live) as a way for Black people to access decent, affordable housing in the face of entrenched discrimination)

the move meant putting a longer commute between her and church, but she didn't even bother looking for a church closer to their new home, she loaded the kids into the car on the weekends, parking is hell in their new neighborhood but it's worth giving up a hard-won parking spot to not have to wait so long for the L on Sunday mornings

Indy lived with her through college and he was gearing up to get his own place when Nile died, Dorothy was planning to move into a one-bedroom in the co-op building because she doesn't need so much space anymore, Indy took a day off from his new job (not so new anymore, her baby's so grown!) to help her sort things to donate when those dress-uniform Marines came to their door

part of her wishes she could've been home more and not had to rely on Nile so much for help with Indy, but he's turned out such a kind young man, and he's a much better cook than his sister is (was, oh God — no wait, is! she’s alive! what do you mean you’ve been alive all this time??)

some of the girls from church are encouraging her to check out this social dancing thing, nobody's pressuring her to date but there's definitely been some ribbing, and with Indy out of the house... maybe? probably not, but maybe

Her feelings and beliefs and likes and dislikes:

she's an absolute badass and also she's a soft human woman with lots of feelings

she's very, very traditional in some ways, and part of her mixed feelings about Nile following in her dad's footsteps is gender stuff, she's proud of her daughter and would never stand in the way of what Nile wants to do with her life, and if Nile came home and told her she's a lesbian she would never reject her, but if Nile came home and told her she's bisexual maybe she can just try focusing on men? “I love you sweetheart and I want you to be happy I just know how hard it is already for us in this world” type shit

she has been on team natural hair basically her entire life and one of the worst fights she and Nile ever had was over Nile wanting to straighten her hair as a pre-teen

Indy takes more after her and Nile takes more after their dad, she's so proud of both of them, but Dorothy's activism was mostly wearing her natural hair to work and daring bosses to give her shit, Indy's out there marching in the streets like her parents had and she WORRIES

she teases Indy for going to so many protests like he's using it as an excuse to meet girls, but she WORRIES

when she turns 60, she gets box braids with streaks of dark purple, subtle enough that it's still work-appropriate but it makes her smile, she may be old now but damnit she’s still pretty!

she loves Grey's Anatomy and Star Trek and she watched Bridgerton all in one day

she has a dirty-old-lady celebrity crush on Chris Hemsworth

if she's ever masturbated thinking about Donna Summer, well, that's nobody's business but her own (do non-Americans know about the queen of disco??)

If you want to read fic featuring Dorothy:

I won't have to leave alone, 1000 words, Nile has a nightmare and decides to go tell her family she's immortal

I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore, 65k, Nile adjusts to immortality and does a lot of soul searching about what it means to "do what we think is right", Booker goes to grad school for trauma studies, the working title of this fic was Booker Reads Edward Said and Gloria Anzaldúa and Goes Down on Nile and the final product has an annotated bibliography in the author's notes if you’re into that kind of thing, a lot of my Dorothy Freeman headcanons were born of my process writing this

Gather round the table, we'll give you a treat, 2279 words, college AU, Nile brings her Jewish boyfriend home for Christmas

a contribution I made to Shitty Old Guard Deaths: (Booker, USA, 2025, cause of death: a mother’s righteous wrath)

#nile freeman #nile's family #dorothy freeman #tog headcanons #tog meta #mine #long post

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robinofinashiro · 4 years ago

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request from anonymous: “Can I get a jean x reader you to have dating for 4 years and plains on proposing but before that happens an old high school friend tries to steal you from Jean but fails badly because you care about Jean more than the friend (can you make the friend Colt, Reiner, or Porco)”

pairing: jean kirstein x fem! reader

req status: OPEN

you were sitting with Jean, drinking a coffee with Connie and Sasha as they were telling you about how a few of your friends from high school were coming into town, wanting to celebrate one of their birthdays.

you hadn’t seen Porco, Colt, or Reiner in years. after high school, they all had went to different universities as you and Jean went to the same university, promptly moving in together. while you would have kept in contact, you really didn’t feel a need too as you had all of your closest friends in the same university as you.

“that’s exciting, what are they planning on doing for Colt’s birthday?” you asked Sasha. she read the message again, “oh, they want to grab dinner or something. I really don’t know as Porco, per usual, hardly specified on the plans,” Sasha explained.

Jean gave you a look, hoping you denied the plans. both of you were landing on your fourth year together this weekend and he knew this year would be the year he would be proposing to you. Connie had went with him to pick out your ring, reminding himself not to tell Sasha or else her loud mouth would go and tell you by complete accident.

the four years the both of you spent together were some of the most refreshing years of his life. when you met him your senior year, crushes he had on anyone at that time were completely wiped away. Mikasa? he left her completely to Eren. the girls hitting him up for a random Saturday night adventure were blocked.

“I mean, Jean and I weren’t planning on anything so I don’t see why not?” you looked over to Jean, whose face dropped a bit. he nodded, not really muttering in agreement but nodding his head yes, “I’ll just text Reiner for the information tonight,” you told Sasha, grabbing your wallet before heading to the cashier to pay for your drink, along with Jean’s.

“why Colt’s birthday? why did he decide to come here?” Jean complained to the two. Connie laughed, sensing his friends jealousy, “don’t tell me you’re still jealous of their old relationship?” Connie joked.

Jean didn’t say much, confirming Connie’s theory. Sasha couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head at his ridiculousness.

“its been four years Jean,” Sasha said, “they probably haven’t spoken since graduation,” Sasha added on. Jean rolled his eyes, “still, they were in that play together and nothing in the world can change my mind that he didn’t have feelings for her,” Jean stated.

Connie and Sasha groaned, the three of them dropping the topic as you walked back to the table. you motioned to Jean as you put your jacket on, “well, we’re heading home to get ready. Reiner mentioned they were coming down here around nine so we I guess we should be getting ready and all that jazz?” you told the three.

Connie and Sasha giggled to themselves, taking in Jean’s face as he pulled on his own jacket. you wondered what had them so giggly but decided to drop it, knowing it was some weird thing going on between them.

you told the two goodbye, grabbing Jean’s hand and intertwining it with yours. “you okay?” you asked, “you’ve been weird since Sasha brought up the thing for Colt’s birthday.”

Jean shook his head, “I’m fine, just have a small headache,” yeah, that headache was Colt Grice himself. you ran your fingers through his hair, “you can lay down for a while, maybe it’ll go away with some ibuprofen?” you said, “I can run you a warm towel and get in the shower while you’re laying down. if you’re still feeling under the weather, we can just skip his birthday and apologize tomorrow.”

he could see the concern on your face, laughing to himself about how worried you got about a measly headache. Jean kissed you, telling you not to worry about and that he would be fine by the time the outing came around.

once you got home, Jean laid down on the couch, taking your warm towel and putting it on until he heard the shower running. he took it off, feeling a bit bad that he lied about having a headache but he just couldn’t stand the fact that you had to be around Colt tonight. a feeling in his gut telling him to watch out for the blond.

the night rolled around as you spent most of the afternoon finishing your makeup. when Jean saw you walkout of the bathroom with your makeup done, his jaw dropped on the floor. you hadn’t gotten that dressed up in months and if he was being honest, he kinda hated it.

Jean hated it only because that meant that he hadn’t taken you out properly in months. you were wearing one of your favorite outfits, one he loved because it hugged your curves nicely and your hair was styled the way you always did it when you went out with him.

“you look amazing babe,” his whispered, bringing you in for a kiss. you smiled, “thanks! figured since we’re actually going out tonight, might as well dress up for you while we’re at it,” you said, giving him a quick kiss before slipping on your shoes and texting Sasha and Reiner that you were both on your way to the restaurant.

the entire time, Jean held his jean pocket that held the engagement ring. he had no idea why he brought it but in the back of his mind, something had screamed at him to just bring it. Connie every now and again had asked him if he popped the question yet and every time he said no, Connie would scream to him about it.

the restaurant was a few miles out of town, in a college bar crawl part of town. Jean had been to this area a few times before but he wondered why the boys had picked that part of town since they were no longer freshman.

you parked right next to where Connie and Sasha were at. the two of them complimenting how nice you looked. Connie looked over to Jean, whispering that you dressed up rather cute for a reunion with Colt. Jean’s eye twitched, knowing he was doing it to get under his skin.

you found Reiner and Colt in the front waiting for all of you. you instantly hugged Reiner, whispering how much you missed him before you heard a scoff coming from Colt. you released Reiner, giving Colt a smile as he instantly brought you in a hug.

“hi to you too, Colt,” you laughed, releasing him. you brought Jean over to you, “I’m sure you remember Jean,” you mentioned, squeezing his hand. Colt nodded, giving Jean a simple head nod and redirecting his entire attention to you again.

Jean could sense this was going to be a long night as all of you walked into the restaurant. you made sure to sit next to Jean and Sasha, making sure that you didn’t leave Jean’s side considering the restaurant was a bit packed.

it was nearing midnight and you could feel yourself getting a bit buzzed with the alcohol you were drinking. you weren’t planning on getting plastered but the two glasses of wine you had was a bit strong and you found yourself laughing more than usual.

some how, you ended up talking with Colt near the bar as Jean, Reiner, Porco, Connie, and Sasha were all playing pool together. you weren’t really interested in the game and Colt offered to stay by your side, mumbling a sarcastic comment to Jean about how he would take care of you.

“so, how are you and Jean?” Colt asked randomly. he saw how your eyes lit up at the mention of your boyfriend, “great! we’re about to head into our four year anniversary,” you said excitedly.

Colt’s eyebrows fluttered in confusion.

“four years? and still hasn’t proposed to you?” he asked trying not to seem pushy. you shrugged, “it’s fine. I’m not in a rush to get married and neither is Jean. whenever he pops the question, I’ll obviously say yes,” you said a bit dreamily.

Colt sighed before trying to grab your hand. you gave him a look, wondering what the hell came over the blond as you pushed yourself back a bit. Jean saw the entire interaction happening, letting you deal with it until he felt like you couldn’t anymore.

“I’m just saying, if you ever wanted.....to you know, give me a try again, I’d always be okay with that,” you didn’t know what to say. giving him a silent response before sighing, “Colt, you’re a great friend but Jean and I really great together and I already told you, our anniversary is close and I don’t hold the feelings I once had for you,” you murmured, finally.

Colt sighed, not knowing what to say but before he could say anything, Jean walked over to you, knowing you had denied whatever Colt was doing to you as his look of sadness was written all over his face. you gave Jean a sigh of relief, kissing him as if Colt wasn’t even there.

he took you back to where everyone was, Colt slowly making his way later after trying to get over his rejection. you had kept yourself by Jean’s side for the rest of the night, holding and kissing him, making everyone else gag at how affectionate you were being.

Jean had wanted to catch a fresh of breath air before spending the final few minutes with everyone else until the bar closed. you agreed to come out with him as you instantly told him what Colt had did earlier and laughing together. you felt a bit bad for laughing at Colt’s expense.

once the laughing died down, Jean looked at you, taking you in under the moonlight and bringing you in for a kiss. you were bit flustered at the way it turned a bit heated but soon, Jean pulled away, caressing your cheek before grabbing something from his pocket.

“I would have saved this for a different time but it’s been on my mind all day,” he opened the box, showing you the ring as you realized what he was doing. You heard gasps from all of your friends as they were coming out of the restaurant to inform you that it was closing but instead, they watched as Jean knelt down on one knee.

“I would give you some grand speech but you know that you mean the world to me and making you my wife...the future Mrs.Kirstein would mean even more to me.”

you smiled, wiping a tear off your face as you nodded and screamed yes. Jean instantly picked you up, spinning you in circles before finally letting you down and putting the ring on your finger. Sasha and Connie ran out the door, Sasha basically knocking you down to the ground as Connie gave Jean a ‘bro’ hug.

the two of them congratulating you as Reiner and Porco congratulated you afterwards. Colt had saw the entire interaction happen but remained inside, not wanting to see you or Jean.

you gave Jean a kiss, telling everyone that you both wanted to head out. you knew what Jean had planned as his hands were roaming everywhere on your body with kisses littering your neck and shoulder. Sasha and Connie understood exactly what Jean was doing as Sasha murmured about making sure to not have a kid tonight.

#attack on titan #Attack on Titan Imagine #attack on titan x reader #AoT #shingeki no kyojin imagine #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirschtein x you #anime #anime imagines #anime imagine

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iwantutobehapppier · 4 years ago

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Face The Facts

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes X Reader (Platonic)

Summary: You could not foresee this thing happening to you.

Word Count: 2,024

Warnings: Angst, a lot of Angst so munch angst, alluded to sex, Depression def, language maybe?

A/N: This is emotionally charged 100%. I am sad (still FAB!) and listened to Paint It Black too much today. So here is my ANGST. I do miss you guys, and I miss writing smut for you, hoping to do so for you again soon.

Fingers drummed along the steel table reflecting the sun outside the coffee shop Sam had dragged you and Bucky to on this stupid bright and sunny afternoon. You could hear Sam talking but the words were muffled.

Your eyes focused on the line of the funeral procession making its way down the busy New York street. The black cars remind you of Tony, the burning in your stomach starting up. Before you can stop you think of him.

He’s gone, not like Tony but he might as well be. He’s dead to you. Died to be with someone other than you. It is a crushing weight to not be worthy. To not be wanted.

You hear the base in Bucky’s voice at your name. You blink a few times and turn to face them. Your boys. There used to be three, you grimace and Bucky mirrors.

“Yeah?” The best you can get out. Sam’s warm hand covers yours stilling the drumming fingers.

“You haven’t drunk any of your coffee,” Sam’s words come through but you feel yourself fade. The attention was never there anymore not since he- “I even had the cute barista make it special for you.”

Your brows furrow. “Special? Did they roofie me?” Bucky chuckles into his cup.

“No!” Sam’s indignant tone pulls the smallest tilt of lips. “AH, she smiles!” And it leaves.

Bucky frowns at Sam swatting his hand away from yours to take its previous residence over yours. They fought like this often since Steve left, over your attention. If you should smile if you should wallow. This coffee outing is an agreed attempt between both to get you in some sunlight.

It had been a month but to you, it felt like yesterday, it felt like everything fell apart just when you thought it was coming together. Maybe a little cracked but still together.

What could Steve be doing that was so much better than this? Was she really worth it? You knew the answer to that though, his actions gave a resounding yes. The sound of girly giggles pulled you from your thoughts.

A group of chipper women on the crosswalk between the stalled procession. Their laughs carry over the sounds of exhaust, conversations at other tables, and your daunting thoughts. How you wanted to steal their joy, not for yourself, oh no. Just no joy. You knew how illogical it sounded, you knew if you said anything about it to Bucky or Sam they’d pull you into a group.

You didn’t want therapy, you wanted this pain, this was familiar. After all, most of life you spent unwanted, discarded, an afterthought, or at the very most a stand-in. Your hands ball up into fists. Bucky’s hand still over yours he catches the subject of your sight.

“They got nothin’ on you, doll.” You catch that, looking his way the intensity of his eyes overwhelming, you look at your coffee pulling the lid off.

The Latte has a star with circles around it in foam, the circles turning squiggly lines as time has gone by since it was made. You choke on your breath, a heaviness growing in your chest. You’d never escape him.

Standing up you leave the two to enjoy their coffee without all your emotional outbursts. Shoving hands in your pockets you take a deep breath in holding the tears back. In the distance, you can hear Bucky and Sam arguing over the “special” coffee.

There’s nothing left but time now, never-ending time. Time he didn’t belong to, time you never thought you’d get.

You pushed the Pym particles into the watch, ignoring all your surroundings. Narrowed focus as you stomped your way through the trees beyond the compound construction site. The protective helmet quickly slides over your head. You place one foot on the pad before you can lift your other foot up and you're being jerked back by your elbow.

Crashing backward into a solid wall of flesh you turn around knowing exactly who it is. Your eyes pinch staring up at the former Winter Soldier.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Your growl between clenched teeth.

Buck grabs both your elbows, his eyes tracing along your face searching for answers. “The better question is what are you doing?”

“He can’t just leave like that.” You try to pull from his hold but it’s futile, you know this but you won’t stop. You can’t stop until you get to him. Until you see what life he made that was so much better without you.

“Yes, he can,” Bucky’s firm tone and shake did nothing to calm your pain. The pain that had been sitting in the pit of your stomach for a while now. Festering and growing. Leaving everything else grey.

“He can’t leave me like this.” He frowns at the desperation in your voice. If anyone understood your pain it would be him but even he knew he had to let go of Steve. Steve deserved his time to rest, his time to put down the mantle of Captain America.

“But he did.” You freeze facing the ground, the pressure of tears collecting. That’s right he did, he left you here, to pick up the pieces of lives he wrecked. He left you to fix this all without him by your side for support. He left you. He. Left. You.

But you wouldn’t let that be the final word. Placing our hands on Bucky’s chest his gaze softens at your touch, hoping you were coming back to him. Only to feel you push him with air manipulation sending him sailing into a tree.

He clamors to his feet as fast as possible, running towards you as you step onto the pad. “No!”

Bucky yelled your name out as your body dematerialized on the pad. The rush of the time tunnels dizzying in your emotional state. You fall to one knee when you land in 1951. You weren’t sure what time Steve stepped in but you knew from history where Peggy Carter lived in the United States as she ran SHIELD.

You’d toured the house once when you were a naive SHIELD cadet. So sure that doing the right thing meant everything would get you what you wanted as well. Naive that the paths would never diverge.

Standing up you tap the watch, the nanotech causing your normal attire to materialize. With purposeful strides, you walk up the door and before you can knock Steve is opening the door with a stern look on his face that flatters at the sight of you.

Your name falls from his lips in a whisper, those lips that have worshipped every inch of your body. You can feel the adrenaline course through, without a second thought you punch him in the face.

“Son of a-” Steve stops while holding his nose, the pain radiating across his face then centralizing in his nasal passage. He was fairly certain the cartilage was snapped.

“You don’t get to leave without a real goodbye.” You holler, tears rolling from your eyes. “You don’t get to just leave me!” You shove him through the threshold. He stumbles at the act. Feet tripping over each other. You shove once more and his foot gets caught on the rug behind him coupled with his already compromised balance it takes him to the ground.

You smile in sick satisfaction seeing him fall so easily. Taking steps over his body you stand above his chest. Looking him straight into his eyes you try your hardest to remain mad, hurt, and rejected.

Yet, he looks at you with those beautiful blues, the specks of green so vibrant with the shock written all over his face. The words were written all over his face, blood pooling on his upper lip from your punch. That pathetic apologetic look you’d seen so many times. Like a stupid hurt puppy.

“Bet you thought you could just leave and we’d gladly pick up the pieces you left?” You place a foot on the center of his chest as he moves to get back up, pushing him down. You know you don’t have the physical strength he does but he still lays back down. That only infuriated you once more.

“Steven Grant Rogers, the man out of time.” Steve’s eyes narrow at you. “Still lost in time.” You taunt. You bend a knee, looming over him.

“I hope you’re happy.” Steve goes to speak but you slap the time watch, a sense of satisfaction fills you watching his lips turn down, that hurt expression the last thing you want from him. He should hurt too. His lips move to say something but you’re rushing through the time tunnels once more before he can get a word out.

Bucky paced back and forth in front of the pad, wringing his hands together. Steve could leave, he could and did accept Steve leaving. Made easier only by seeing Steve older, wiser, and at peace with his life. He couldn’t recall a time growing up Steve was ever at peace, so to see him like that a soothing balm for the pain of losing his pal. But you, you wouldn’t even look at Steve, you left.

In the back of Bucky’s mind, he knew you’d take off too. He wasn’t entirely convinced he could handle that. The next thing he knows is an alert of someone on the Compound and a travel watch missing from FRIDAY.

The last time he drove so recklessly was as the Winter Soldier, but his gut told him it was you. You were going to do something stupid. He just knew it since the last time he saw you. That faraway look, your inability to focus even on Sam’s idiotic jokes. He knew you’d do something stupid.

Before Bucky could pull out his phone to call Sam the pad making noises. His eyebrows rose to watch you regenerate just where you had left.

You’re both silent as your helmet falls away. Do you tell him what you did? Do you tell him he looked good? He looked rested. That you punched him? Maybe not the last part.

“Where did you go?” Bucky knew the answer but he had to hear it. He was thankful you came back though, you didn’t leave him and the relief that swept through him for that was all-encompassing.

“You know.” Looking up at the sky, embarrassment settled in looking at your previous actions but you were justified. He left, he had to know how he hurt you He left people here to just be in pain to hurt. But were you the only one hurting?

“Why aren’t you hurting?” Your voice barely above a whisper. Taking a step down the platform stairs. You falter on the next step, Bucky’s there in an instant. Holding you to his chest pulling you down the last step.

His chin sits on top of your head, he has to hold you. He needs to know you’re here, that you came back. That you stayed.

“I am hurting, doll.” He turns his face into your hair, taking a deep breath in. You embrace him in return, his barrel of a chest making it impossible for you to wrap your arms completely around him. “I hurt every day.”

“Then act like it!” you go to pull from him but he won’t let go. The metal and flesh keep you locked in.

“What’s the point?” His voice muffled in your hair. “Life will go on regardless. We can only control how we react to it.”

“I don’t want to keep hurting.” your voice breaks, the looming pressure in your chest blooming. It feels like you’ll burst this time. The tears falling from your eyes faster than before, certainly soaking Bucky’s shirt. Your body shakes in his hold.

“I know, I know.” He turns his head, his cheek pushing against the top of your head, gently rocking you back and forth. He wishes he could take it away, your hurt, and put it on top of his own. But this was yours, and he was going to see you through it. Because you stayed.

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verobatto · 3 years ago

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Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXIII

It was a love story from the very beginning

Missing Each Other

(15x06/15x07/15x08)

Hello my friends! We are still walking over the last Destiel breakup. I'm gonna talk in this meta about how they miss each other even when they're mad at each other. Because they're two dumbasses in love.

Remember this is a summary from my season 15 metas. You can find all the links from these episodes here: X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X and X.

Come Back Home

Previous episode we saw a visual reference that linked Dean with a fish. Now in episode 15x06 we have Castiel trying to catch a (hard) fish and walking around a fishing ship, mentioning Dean to let us know, the symbolism about that sneaking fish. Castiel misses him.

Another important visual element in this episode was the lady reading a book that pictures the Destiel breakup we are witnessing and writers are making it one of the centric topics.

I'm talking about the Destiel color coded lady, with a hint of pink (happiness)...

...reading a novel titled: "Lovers Quarrel".

An now, let's talk about the awkward Destiel phonecall.

Let me tell you that Dean didn't have to ask to talk with Castiel when he was speaking with the sheriff, but he did it anyway. Why? Because he missed Castiel.

Even so, he won't recognize it. Because he is still mad, and Castiel is still mad, then why is Dean asking for him?

Because he needed to scold him about not answering Sam's messages. Because Sam is messaging him, but Dean is not.

And then...

Look at this:

DEAN: Would you put my agent on the phone, please?

He can't lose the opportunity to talk with Cas.

SHERIFF ROY [handing the phone to Cas]: He wants to talk to you.

CASTIEL: Hello?

He wasn't happy about it, at all. As a parallel with that phonecall in season 14, in which Castiel said it was good to hear Dean's voice, this time it isn't.

DEAN: Cas. Sam's been trying to call you.

CASTIEL: I know.

DEAN: Did you check his messages?

CASTIEL: Nope.

Dean is behaving very childish here, and Castiel isn't checking the Winchester's messages, because he really wanted to move on from them, from Dean.

DEAN: Right. Smart. Why would you? Look, I don't know if you care or not, but, uh... God... Chuck... is back on the board, so watch yourself. And check your damn messages.

After this, Dean suddenly cut the call, and Castiel looks very upset about that. But thing about these words Dean told him has a hidden message:

And then... "Chuck is back in the game." Is the same as if Dean wanted to say HEY CAS YOU LEFT BECAUSE CHUCK WAS GONE, WELL, HE IS BACK, SO... YOU HAVE TO COME BACK BECAUSE CHUCK IS BACK. NOT BECAUSE I'M MISSING YOU SO MUCH AND I'M SO DEPRESSED SINCE YOU LEFT, BUT BECAUSE CHUCK IS BACK.

That's so Dean, right?

A miscellaneous point I repeated so many times in all my metas from this season was, Castieo was related to people dressing green and pink and Dean with people dressing blue and pink: THIS IS BECAUSE THEY'RE EACH OTHER'S HAPPINESS.

Another symbolic reference, this time related to Dean's behavior, it's the following piece of dialogue between Dean and Sam at the beginning of the scene:

DEAN: You know they still put, um, jokes on the backs of these things. Listen to this one... What's round and bad-tempered? "A vicious circle." (...)

This is self referencing over here, my friends, because is talking about how Dean is stuck in his toxicity, and his way to "solve" his problems and repress his feelings m is a vicious circle that never ends, and he's playing in the same line, and lying to himself. The bad temper, is a reflection of Toxic Dean, and he's trapped in this vicious circle, and he needs to MOVE ON to make things changing.

And because we had people moving in this episode, it's another symbolic analogy to what Dean must do to grow up.

Bi!Dean episode and Dean's attempt to fix things with Castiel

Episode 15x07 was full of Bi!Dean subtext.

Dean is praised by a male sheriff, and we had a waitress flirting with him. And Dean rejecting her all the time. Why? Because he behaves as a married guy, married with Castiel, if you know what I mean.

We had the whole bi flag lighting when Dean was singing on the stage, and this whole sexual tension with his old friend, Castiel's mirror.

Jumping from Bi!Dean to the Destiel breakup, we had this symbolic dialogue:

When Dean found the girl at the bar, he interrogates her, but Lee, his friend, called him, and the words he says: "She went without saying goodbye?" "Well, maybe she deserved it."

This was related to episode 15x03 when Castiel walked away from Dean. It felt as if he didn't say goodbye to Dean, 'but maybe Dean deserved it.'

Keeping the drama here, we had Castiel calling Dean the whole episode and Dean not answering the phone.

Castiel came back to the bunker because he had a plan, but when things doesn't work well, he calls Dean... A lot of times. But Dean didn't answer... Just like a cheating husband. Cas lost his temper and he even shouts WHERE ARE YOU!? At the phone.

Avoiding the whole Swayze's Bar and Rocky's Bar parallels you can find in my meta link on the top of this analysis, let's just go to the 'Lovers Quarrel scene and enjoy the failed attempt from Dean to fix things with Cas... à la Dean.

Gift credit @agusvedder

When Dean appeared at the bunker, Castiel's face is about surprise, relief, and a hint of heart eyes, Dean is acting as if nothing had happened between them, just like I expected to occur, because is his way to avoid things. But this time it won't work, because CAS recalls immediately Dean's hard words and the last call, and he recalls that THEY DIDN'T PART FRIENDS (this quote from episode 7x17 when they came back to see each other after the break up in season 6).

That's why I said Dean is trying to fix things à la Dean here, just acting as if nothing happened. It's the coward way to try to approach the love of your life.

Awkward, horrible and wonderful, Awkward silence. The romantic tension here! Even my dog saw it. This was deliberately written and performing to show what it is: ROMANTIC TENSION.

This was gold... because Dean's face is yelling: Uh, oh, wait, don't go, we still can chat a little... oh wait, right. Things are still bad... got it.

So, Cas changed his face, and he just threw a few words, and leaves, quickly. Dean senses this, and he just grimaced, okay... What did you expect, Dean? Things are not good. You need to use your words!

Imagine their hearts running fast, dry mouth, knowing they love each other so much and they missed each other so much. They're finally in the same room, but things are not good. Castiel is very hurt and Dean can't spell the magic words.

And now, it his wasn't enough Destiel pining for you... we had this last scene:

Gifset credit @agusvedder

Dean stares at Castiel, and Castiel feels that look, but he didn't look back at Dean. This is because Castiel is trying to show Dean how much he hurted him. The Destiel eye-fuck/eye-love making has been always their way of intimate communication. Well. Castiel cut it off here. Just like Dean did with that phonecall.

Time to Fix things. Time for Purgatory 2.0

The whole episode 15x08 showed how broken were Destiel. Dean and Castiel were shown in divided, separated, in all the frames.

We also had this...

Gif credit @agusvedder

Castiel didn't touch Dean to heal him FOR THE FIRST TIME. This scene was very meaningful to show things are not good.

We also had the scene with Rowena, in which they were sitting far away from each other, another empty seat in the middle, and Rowena noticing this, and obviously, giving that married couple a good speech. Almost yelling at them to fix their mess.

So, if Dean and Castiel had to fix their relationship, what better than go to Purgatory again. The place where Dean realized he was in love with Castiel. Because it was pure, and his feelings and thoughts alined into one spot: THE LOVE HE FEELS FOR THAT ANGEL.

After this scene, Dean and Castiel spoke with Michael, and did you know what Michael says in one of his lines?:

ADAM: What about 'I'm sorry'?

LEGENDARY MY FRIENDS! The whole Universe was yelling at Dean to use his words and ask for forgiveness to his angel, to fix things with him. That's why karma sent them back to Purgatory.

Miscellaneous: two things I want to point about Saileen: they were mirroring Destiel the whole time, even the goodbye scene and even Dean calling Eileen as the hot woman perfect for Sam, that understands him, it was a reference to Castiel, the perfect man for Dean, that understands him and is pretty hot.

Second is the fact that Castiel cockblocked Sam and Eileen. Again, karma. 🤣

To Conclude:

The 'Lovers Quarrel' was shown in the show as one of the centric topics. GA could see and be aware of the ROMANTIC TENSION between these two.

But don't worry, the breakup is coming to it's end in the next episode. One of the most beautiful Destiel scenes, and is happening in Purgatory of love 2.0.

I hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2002 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 15, here you have the links:

Vol. CXXI, CXXII.

Buenos Aires, July 25th 2021 12:47 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 15 #15x06 #15x07 #15x08 #destiel breakup

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alwida10 · 4 years ago

Text

The tragedy of Loki of Asgard

Or why I think the Infinity War Loki should stay dead.

TW: suicide, depression, narcissistic behavior

To understand this essay you need some basic understanding of the family dynamic in Odins family. The dynamic is one of a narcistic parent who has a golden child he projects his own awesomeness onto and a scapegoat child . The parent ensures himself the support of the golden child and makes himself the very center of attention, which is what a narcisst tribes for. The golden child longs to remain golden child and refrains from criticism of the parent. The scapegoat child strives to finally get out of the scapegoat position by pleasing the parent. To bad the child can’t do so because it gets not the blame because it did something wrong but because there must always be someone to blame. Therefore possible explanations and things the parent presented as desirable aren’t really that. Now, a golden child sooner or later gets used to blame everything on the scapegoat. It might even learn to control the scapegoat by blaming him the same way the parent did (aka the scapegoat longs for positive attention/affirmation and therefore does everything the golden child wants him to).

Now, in Thor Ragnarok Odin says ‘I love you my sons’ before he dies, placing the two of them more or less on equal positions for the first time ever. (I know there can be good arguments made, but just let’s assume it’s possition zero they start at.)

Pretty soon both end up on Sakarr, Thor in prison, Loki in the Grandmasters favors. Loki visits Thor in prison, suggesting teaming up, even though it endangers his position (the Grandmaster could hear about it, Thor would probably claim the higher position etc.) At that moment Thor doesn’t have anything to offer. Yet, he stonewalls, blaming Loki for all bad that happened. (For a much more detailed spot -on analysis please read this post where @i-dreamed-i-had-a-son even correctly predicted Loki’s death).

The whole dynamic in the prison is Thor falling back into the old family dynamic. Only that Odin is dead now, and the position of the prime narcisst is open. Now, narcissm is often correlated with abusive behavior, as written in ‘why does he do that? - inside they mind of angry and controlling men’ by Lundy Bancroft. In another post I found many of the things she describes can be observed in Thor’s actions in Thor Ragnarok.

But let’s get finally come to the elevator scene which is the heart piece of my explanation. Remember – Loki is at this point starved for any affirmation or positive reaction by his family. After Thor rejected Loki’s plan, he accepted Loki joining his plan. Thor lures Loki by claiming they should talk right before they enter the elevator. For a starving person this is huge temptation. But Loki did live with his family for eons and is certainly aware of it being a trap.

Right from his first appearance in Thor 1 (before the coronation) we learn that Loki never lowers his guard when it comes to admitting feelings. In that scene he said he loved Thor but directly glossed it over with a joke. After all what happened in Thor 1, Avengers and TDW Loki would never let himself appear weak by outright asking if Thor does still hold any positive feelings mg a for him. So he uses reverse psychology (claiming something against your own wishes, hoping the other disagrees and thereby affirms you.)

LOKI: Here's the thing. I'm probably better off staying here on Sakaar.

The problem with reverse psychology is when the other person agrees with it, it hits you right where it hurts the most.

THOR: That's exactly what I was thinking.

LOKI: ...Did you just agree with me?

THOR: This place is perfect for you. It's savage, chaotic, lawless. Brother,you're going to do GREAT here.

Thor follows up by insulting Loki and pushing him away hard. Why? Because he knows Loki has nobody else to turn to. Even after TDW Loki returned to Asgard. For one part because he’s still loyal but certainly also for the lack of alternatives. And Asgard will always include Thor. Thor knows Loki won’t be able to leave him.

LOKI: Do you truly think so little of me?

Loki is hurt, obviously and it’s very much visible on his face. To make sure no blame can be laid open him, Thor uses gaslighting.

THOR: Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you're you, I'm me… I don't know, maybe there's still good in you, but let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.

Loki is wounded by Thor's willingness to discard him. But he masks his feelings.

LOKI: It's probably for the best that we never see one another again.

Thor pats Loki on the shoulder, placing the obidience disk. And this action proves that the manipulation on Thor’s part was intentional. Why else would he have done it? (Everyone claiming ‘Loki betrayed Thor endless times, please read this meta). Thor knew that by pushing Loki away hard enough he would trigger a desperate act of reactive aggression. He did so to push Loki back into his place (which is beneath him, as far Thor is concerned). As soon that has happened Thor gives his little self righteous speech.

THOR: Oh brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change.But you seem to just wanna stay the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.

Briefly summarized:

you suck, and I don’t think you’ll ever be worth my affection. If you want to try tho, here is your option.

Of course, to prove Thor wrong Loki is forced to resume his subservant position he had at the beginning of Thor 1. He can only ‘prove his worth’ by doing Thor’s bidding and supporting his plans. And that he does. He convinces kork and his crew to join him and brings them to Asgard where he receives his reward by Thor acknowledging him in a not-aggressive way. He even fulfills Thor’s plan, knowing that henceforth he will be blamed whenever someone remembers Asgard’s destruction. In Thor’s ‘coronation scene’ Loki stands at the side, behind the Valkyrie (yet, still at the right side. That surprised me, tbh. The ‘right hand of the King’ is a prestigious title and I didn’t believe TW would have allowed Loki that. But he’s still only second on Thor’s right.)

Anyway, Loki is back in the position he had in Thor 1 with a lot of added baggage and no Frigga to rant to when everything gets to bad. And then Thanos appears. Under Thanos Loki would suffer even more than under Thor (remember the Other’s ‘no barren moon..’ speach.) So basically he’s caught between two horrible fates.

Loki’s death scene itself has been criticized a lot and everyone knows the butterknive-discourse. It can only interpreted in two ways: either him being stupid or him being suicidal. Based on all written above and the fact that he already tried to commit suicide at the end of Thor 1, I can only believe the second to be true.

It has another point: Tom said Loki’s arc was finished. I was confused and unhappy about this statement, but now I am coming to piece with it. Tom loves Shakespeare, including Hamlet and Coriolanus. Those are tragedies. Tragedies are characterized by the protagonist being ruined because of a dramatic conflict that leaves him only two choices, one being death and one being worse. So perhaps this is his very own version of the tragedy of Loki of Asgard.

#Loki meta #long post #meins #MCU loki #anti thor ragnarok #anti taika waititi

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kaypeace21 · 4 years ago

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ignoring the fact that they sound like a married couple arguing, mike and will are also bickering over whether or not el and mike are still together. it was written in the script, rehearsed, performed, and kept in the final cut that will OUTRIGHT SAYS “she said she dumped your ass, that doesn’t sound like a break.” and max yells “it wasn’t!” :@;$:@/&$:&:??!?! they literally said they’re not endgame. they aren’t endgame.

i KNOW right! Based on the s4 movies I think things are reversed and it’s El who can’t accept they are broken up. A lot of films said to inspire s4 have ex gfs refuse to accept the break up -one even hits on her gay ex-bf ( ‘birdcage’ ). Similar scenario in ‘clueless’ with girl hinting on gay guy who just wants to be friends. Max in s3 having to correct El that Mike is her “ ex boyfriend” and Will saying “that doesn’t sound like a break”. And Max agreeing “it wasn’t!” is foreshadowing they never actually got back together. IT WASN’T A BREAK! But El may not accept this.

It’s similar, to the random telemarketing joke where they had Mike say on the phone “El, sorry not interested “ and hang up . It was foreshadowing.

In the films the exes constantly call . Mike telling El “i’ll call so often you’ll have to turn your walkie off” was also foreshadowing of what Mike will do to her in s4. Since ,he hung up on her in s3 when she called demanding to know where he was at 9:30 in the morning. In ‘swingers’ the guy name mike (whose friends call him ‘gay’) hangs up on his ex gf who wants to get back together . He hangs up on her so he can talk to his new love interest (Will) . Specifically, Hangs up on his ex as she says “I love-“. Then in ‘splash’ he breaks up with his gf on the phone and says “do I love you?well what about you?” To dodge the question (then yells at a family member ease dropping on the other line -Karen). And they break up on the phone. And he tells a friend later he never loved her.

2 movies the ex says they’ll get back together and their new relationships are “just phases” etc ( waynes world, high fidelity, dumb and dumber). Saying they’re still together when they aren’t (wayne’s world). Loads of movies had the crazy ex sabotage new relationships, call constantly, stalk, and flirt despite the exes discomfort and repeatedly saying it’s over (despite the ex not loving them and just be possessive and not wanting them with other people).

The exes are cray in the films (el stalking and never apologizing for spying. And mileven dancing to the song ‘every breath you take’ a song about a stalker ex who doesn’t take no for an answer -after their ex hooks up with their friend, wasn’t a coincidence). Along with El watching ‘days of our lives’ where she mimicked erica who was in a relationship with Mike roy. And it ended messy with one of them sabotaging their new relationship, stalking them, and claiming the stalking victim still loved them. (Although, they eventually accepted that wasn’t true).

El stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike said he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 (like the song) she stalks him after their breakup, and when he said not to do that she just says ��i make my own rules’. I think s4 shows just how ‘un-cute’ this behavior can get.

I’ve already talked about that awkward kiss scene to death. But i think it indicates Mike assumes they’re broken up and el assumes they’re back together.

FIrst he LIED AGAIN (the cause of the breakup)- and pretended he didn’t confess to her at the end of s3. And never said “ I love you’ back! He even tries to take the words back and says about the prior love confession “ “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…” and starts to scratch his head and says everything he said at the cabin was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing…”

They even frame the scene right before the kiss strangely, making El look larger and imposing, as she approaches. Mike feels cornered (you the viewer subconsciously are supposed to feel claustraphobic/trapped/cornered/stuck along with Mike).

We see him furrow his brows (uncomfortable and confused ) when El initiates the romantic moment, saying “I love you too.”

And cue most awkward kiss in history- where he keeps his eyes open the whole time and doesn’t kiss back. (In Will’s room, mike in front of an open closet, as el holds Will’s s1 bear.)

During the kiss, the song ‘the first i love you ‘played. The only other time they played that song in s3, was when Robin rejects Steve’s romantic confession and she comes out as gay . Interesting choice for that awkward mileven kiss/confession shown later where El says she loves Mike (and mike keeps his eyes open, doesn’t kiss back or return the ‘I love you’). It’s foreshadowing of Mike rejecting El (in the future) cause he’s gay.

We even see El’s reaction first (happy, smiling and giddy). Assuming they’re back together. But then we blur the screen to see Mike’s opposing expression. He looks confused, bewildered and even furrows his brows again.

Then we see El initiating all the romantic stuff outside.El seems to be the one trying to make it romantic- like Mike hugging el and lucas with one arm identically (hand on their upper back), but El caresses his chest.

And as Mike stops the hug El shoves his head into hers (it actually looked like it hurt honestly XD)

the byler centric ending with the Hopper monologue reinforces this theme. Mike while looking at both cars driving away was thinking of Will . They show this by having Mike be sad as Will drives away (alone) twice as Mike sadly watches him leave- this was done to show that he’s actually upset the 2 later times where Will and El leave at the same time -because of Will. I showed it in one of my vids here, at 23:11

When we first see Mike during the Hopper monologue , it continues to pan to only Mike and Will (not El) cause what he says is mostly about them. “I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re pulling away from me or something” (Will does this both figuratively/literally). I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”. Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (he just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave without him) like how Will turned to watch Mike leave and hold hands with El (as the crew go up the hill without Will). “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. And I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”

It pans to both of them on “i don’t want things to change’ cause that’s how they both feel. Mike , ‘doesn’t want things things to change’. He doesn’t want their friendship to change as they ‘get older’ because he’d have to and acknowledge his feelings for Will are romantic and if he’s “being honest” that “scares” him (especially in rural 80s conservative-Indiana at the height of the aids epidemic). Why we see Mike trying to act like a adult while dating El, and Will trying to act like a kid- they’re both trying to escape growing up to be gay in different ways. Will reverting to childhood activities and saying he’ll ‘never fall in love’ (after his double date with lumax). And Mike trying to act like “old people’ saying “we’re not kids anymore... what did you expect that we’d never get girlfriends?” Cause he equates straight romance with being an adult and his feelings for Will as something he has to grow out of . Which he learns in the very end isn’t possible.

Right after that scene it switches from Will crying, to Mike entering his house. His face is visibly red from crying and he looks shocked (almost as if he realized something) before he hugs his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1.

And the dialogue in this scene says “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will are romantic. When things were simple. I think the last episode is when Mike truly realizes he’s been in love with Will this entire time and he can’t fix it and transfer his feelings for Will on to el (something he’s been trying to do all of s3). El said he loved him and he felt nothing-and he was heartbroken over Will leaving (not El). Which is why he just seems almost shocked/numb as he’s processing this fact. This whole scene only showed Mike and Will transitions- el was never there, cause Mike wasn’t upset over her.

In the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors the scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. In s1 the romantic/queer coded lyric from the song ‘We can be heroes’ plays as he hugs his mom “And we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.”. And during the s3 move (‘we can be heroes’) plays again! And David Bowie wrote this song and Jonathan even said to Will in his ‘being a freak is the best speech’ “who would you rather be friends with David bowie (a queer singer) or Kenny Roggers?”

It’s why finn wolfhard after s3 liked this byler pic. cause s3 was all about Will and Mike denying their feelings for each other.

Not to mention,After s1 Finn quoted the Duffers saying Mike thought of El as a “puppy’ (dart) or “et” , and then said Mileven was a “first summer love thing”- foreshadowing mileven’s downfall during the Summer (aka s3). He repeats this “first summer love” phrase 2x. Millie when he mentioned what the duffers said rightfully thought the puppy thing was “awful”, but Finn was clearly told mileven doesn’t last -very early on- and most likely the Duffers told him “it’s like a first summer love thing”.Summer love” by definition fails-as it only lasts during the summer.

#byler #byeler #anti mileven

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hottie0 · 3 years ago

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k so i had an idea for a chameron ao3 series of all the fics being conan gray songs but i got lazy and only wrote 1.5 stories for it so because i’m not acc gonna do it imma share the ideas i had cuz someone might find them useful so (btw these will be copied directly from notes the first time i wrote them, they can also be used for other ships if u want but i made them for chameron):

grow: a year after hs cam and charlie run into eachother in vermont and then u see a bunch of flashbacks of old nights and things at welton. they exchange numbers at the end or smth. (i did this one)

idle town: charlie can’t sleep at his new school. he reminisces and whatever. a little more focused on cam. he looks over at the other side of the room but cam isn’t there anymore. instead it’s his new roommate who he doesn’t even know the last name of. end it somehow.

generation why: pre-canon cam and charlie just talking on the roof. banter. romantics ensue on cams behalf. charlie doesn’t feel the same way. that’s why charlie treats him the way he does.

crush culture: charlie pining after cam. a bunch of little things cam does to push charlie over the edge. charlie talks to neil and neil says cam likes him too. he doesn’t. charlie kisses cam one night while studying and cam rejects him and they argue. this is the night of neils death. that’s why cam didn’t find out through charlie and everything hurt a little bit more than it should’ve.

greek god: cameron’s being made fun of all the time by charlie and he knows charlie likes him and idk tbh this one got deleted and idk what i had written

lookalike: pre-neils death cam and charlie dated in their time at welton then broke up which caused tension going into senior year. the dead poets knew. when the dps started charlie got a gf and wouldn’t stop talking about her. her name was elaine. he brought her to a meeting and she looks just like cam. damn.

the other side: falling out of love. the process.

the king: cameron accidentally reads a poem charlie had written for/about him. he stresses all day and acts weird. everyone else is like ??? at night cam decides f it and confronts him. it ends cute

comfort crowd: night time. tomorrow morning charlie was meant to leave welton so all his stuff was packed up. hed already punched cam so it was tense. to say the least. cam randomly gets up out of bed and charlie is like wtf?? cam fuddles around then he’s like “u coming” they go to the cave and have a meaningful talk and if they end up cuddling then that’s their business

wish you were sober: charlie and cameron get drunk in their dorm. cam can’t hold his alcohol well so he gets wayy more drunk. he tells charlie some personal shit. some of which includes the fact that he used to have feelings for charlie. charlie has feelings for cam. he’s sad and sends cam to bed.

maniac: short one. they’re at the same bar a few years later. not with eachother but cam knows charlie’s there. charlie is talking shit abt cam and calling him weird and blah blah. but just that night, charlie had called cam desperate after years. cam thinks abt everything. he gets up and leaves but doesn’t leave w/o saying a big ol’ f u to charlie. this ones so mean to charlie. sucks. anyways.

online love): they’re doing long distance because charlie got expelled. they break up over the phone. aw. make it depressing. maybe by them being interrupted before rly saying goodbye and shii.

checkmate: they’re playing chess idk i couldn’t think of anything better. just cute and fluffy cuz i say so.

the cut that always bleeds: cameron is in a problematic relationship w a girl he met at uni. they just went through one of their fight episodes. cam went back to his room but he needed company. he decides to go to charlie’s dorm for comfort. but they haven’t spoke since that evening years ago. charlie says “i thought i’d never see you again” yadda yadda cam tells charlie everything and they just hold eachother. the gf is like “plz take me back” so cam does and he never sees charlie ever again. cry abt it.

fight or flight: charlie has a gf but little does he know she’s cheating on him. he ends up catching her with her side piece in their apartment. it’s cameron. there’s a whole wtf moment and the gf is like “u two know eachother???”. cams like “i swear i didn’t know” the girl leaves but cam stays. they argue or whatever or just talk not sure yet. then they kiss and charlie says something dumb and it ends. also cameron is hot as shit in this btw.

affluenza: probs short. when charlie is getting ready to leave cam is like “so money can’t buy happiness” and charlie’s like tf did u say to me. they talk abt where charlie’s going and whatnot and money. “i can’t do the things you do charlie, don’t you get anything” charlie leaves feeling a bit more guilty.

(can we be friends?): cam and charlie’s life growing up together. cute moments of them falling for the other. “now charlie knows why he and cameron could never be friends.”

heather: charlie and knox are together. cameron likes charlie. one night charlie is drunk and it’s just cam and him in the dorm. charlie ends up kissing cameron as a joke and cameron doesn’t know. there’s a fic like this. after the kiss it’s never the same. knox doesn’t know what happened. cameron has to watch them be all buddy buddy and shit- even if they’re not out to the rest of the group, cam knows. cameron knows not to interfere with their relationship no matter how much he wants to. he chooses to sit and watch and keep all his feelings inside.

little league: charlie stops by a cafe one night because he has nothing else to do. it turns out it’s open mic night. someone gets up to read. that someone is cameron. cameron performs a poem called little league. charlie remembers things. he leaves before the poem is over. /OR/ Cameron is an adult, he's a doctor or smth bouj, he has a family, a house, the embodiment of the american middle aged straight white man dream life. But sometimes, in secret, he takes Welton's Yearbook out of the shelf, and he traces Charlie face, and he remembers.

the story: cameron and charlie are late-night swimming in the lake together. they’re fantasizing abt whatever and charlie says “we should run away” they continue the convo like they did the others. a few days later charlie brings it up again, seriously this time. “what? dalton are you on something?” no. they get into an argument and shit. about a week later cameron wakes up to charlie sneaking out, but this isn’t sneaking out like dps meeting sneaking out, he’s running away. cam: “charlie? what are you doing up?” charlie: “this is your last chance. you coming?” cam: *thinks* no.

fake: ratting on keating and more angsty mess

overdrive: first kiss moment. they’re meant to be studying but they got distracted and are just talking instead. charlie’s like “cam have u ever kissed sum1” cam: “i think u know the answer to that dalton” charlie: “do you want to” cam: “ha! that’s a laugh! who can i find within a mile of here that i could kiss” charlie: me. whole carpe diem whatever- “charlie are you kidding do you know what would happen if someone found out!?” “so i won’t let them” but they kiss and it’s cute

astronomy: au: cam never ratted out keating but neil still died but just that whole thing never happened. ok. ever since neil died both cam and char were different. their relationship was tense. before it had been perf and everyone was envious of them but after neil everything changed. cameron was more agressive and easily irritable. charlie was more reserved and quiet. they tried to fix it but they decided it would be best to split. they still saw eachother in hallways and stuff, but were no longer roommates. after a couple months, they were strangers.

people watching: a view on the cameron/charlie relationship from other people. they’re opposites obv. when ppl were first informed they were taken aback to say the least. but when they see how they are together they get it yk? yeah u do.

ur welcome for my genius guys u need it.

#chameron #dead poets society #dps boys #charlie dalton #richard cameron

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firelxdykatara · 4 years ago

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I would love to hear your thoughts/headcanons for bi Katara! Bi Zuko I get because *Will Smith poses at Jet* but I can't remember her having any interactions with girls (at least in AtLA) that could be read as romantic/sexual. Not that that's a prerequisite, I'm really just curious to hear what sold you on it.

I’ll be honest, a huge portion of it is ‘I’m bi, and I love Katara, and as she is my favorite character I get to decide her energy is bi af and I’m valid’. Another big part is ‘these assholes have made “homophobic katara” such a popular and widespread headcanon that if I have to drown it out with a million and one KATARA IS UNAPOLOGETICALLY BI, SHE LOVES GIRLS AND SHE LOVES BOYS AND SHE NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS THE SLIGHTEST BIT STRANGE posts then I fucking will’, particularly in light of the fact that I absolutely despise how a couple straight men decided to inject institutionalized homophobia into a fantasy world where there was absolutely no need for it, and where there’d been no real hint at it before the sequel series comics where it was revealed, so I reject it whole-heartedly (along with most of the comics tbh) and everyone is queer bc I make the rules and I fucking said so.

But also?

That sentence could easily be written like this: “I can’t remember her having any interactions with girls her age who weren’t a) her brother’s love interests, or b) trying to injure/kill her.” Because she really doesn’t. And even if you expand that to include Toph (who, while younger, is the same age as Aang, Katara’s canon love interest), well, Toph likewise had a crush on Katara’s brother.

Katara gets singled out as the Token Straight, while Toph and Suki get to be queer in fandom, despite the fact that neither of them had any interactions with other girls that could be read as romantic either (which, again, is an issue with the show itself--it’s great that there are multiple amazing female characters, but the lack of interaction between them is a little telling; the only real female friendship we have an example of other than Toph and Katara is the snarl of abusive dynamics between Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee, none of whom get any real narrative focus other than Azula at certain points, because they aren’t main characters--meanwhile there are multiple friendships between male characters to choose from just amongst the gaang), and it’s hard to look at that and not see elements of racialized misogyny, particularly given the fandom’s clear disdain for katara during this recent renaissance. Why is the darkest-skinned girl the one the fandom comes down on, often derisively, as the Token Straight, and also the Token Homophobe? Why is Katara the one that fandom decided to hate for how often she mentions her mom, the source of her greatest trauma (and yes, Katara’s trauma here is worse than Sokka’s--he may have lost his mom too, but a) he didn’t see her dead body, nor was he saddled with the guilt of not having gotten back fast enough to save her, or the additional hit Katara took when she had it confirmed that her mom died to protect her, and b) he had Katara there to step up and take their mom’s place as family caretaker, a luxury Katara did not have), when Zuko is over there mentioning his honor even more often and fandom loves him for it, because even the jokes about it are affectionate?

Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent here, but the bottom line is--Katara is bi because I said so. She just has that energy, a disaster bisexual on the opposite end of the disaster bi spectrum from Zuko. She looks at a pretty girl and thinks she wants to dance with her until their hearts are racing so fast she feels like she might explode, and then she looks at a pretty boy and thinks his lips seem like they must be soft and warm and his smirk makes her toes curl, and when she realizes she’s attracted to someone she goes bright red in the face and even the softest brush of their hand against hers makes her blood pound in her ears and she gets distracted every time their eyes meet and everyone else just knows, especially Toph who can always tell when her heart is racing.

Katara is a bi disaster and I love that for her, and I will never budge on this headcanon. Anyone who disagrees with me is simply wrong and that is that.

#atla #zutara #katara #katara is bi no i will not take criticism #asked #anonymous

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