#AND IM JUST SOBBING BC

[deathfavor]

. There's a lot to unpack in this little section of Horo's interrogation so I'm going to break this into a few different sections because I want to dedicate time to a few big points that are actually right here.

No one in the mean streets could beat him.

I didn't really think too much on this the first time I read it. But sitting back and rereading it? We know how vicious Syndicate can be. There's lots of older people around who will attack younger groups. So Earl was probably fighting against lots of older people just as much as he was people around Horo's age or his own. And this is even AFTER extremely labor intensive work.

Which means Earl was probably once a SERIOUS threat and fighter. He was once very much on the frontlines, taking on anyone. A strategic fighter always, but he could afford to be a bit more reckless and direct about it. More like Zoya and Horor's approach. Someone no one messed with.

And then he lost his leg.

It probably was BRUTAL for Earl to go from being someone who could take down anyone and everyone who tried to mess or tease Horo, to having to relearn something as simple as how to walk again. The physical pain was awful, but there was a lot of emotional and mental pain that he didn't want Horo to have to see him deal with. A helplessness he had never faced but he also needed to be strong for Horo's sake in his mind. So he never let it show, yet it HURT. To go from a fearsome frontline fighter to having to be strategic. Sure, Earl awoke as a Sinner at that point and had powers now. But it was hard. Even now, Earl IS a capable fighter, but he's very much aware of his limitations. He's not as mobile or fast as he once was. It IS a weak point in theory (less so in practice but that's a different post). Direct combat isn't his forte like it used to be. It's a loss Earl took hard but never admitted to anyone. Instead he decided to become the best at strategy so he could crush people without having to need to fight. But sometimes? Sometimes he misses what he used to be. There's also the sad thought that Horo and maybe Zoya also had to see that shift from the front to the shadows.

He was our breadwinner

Horo mentions he's the breadwinner, which is no surprise. He's the oldest, it's both expected and what he wants to do. Horo mentions he did the work of two people. He pulled multiple shifts of labor intensive jobs because he wanted to provide for Horo. They only had each other. Sure, we know Jer was there to watch after them. But I'm sure Jer had his own family and his own needs. Earl didn't want to have to depend on people. He wanted Horo to be able to eat good food and have clothes and just...not have to struggle. If he had to work till he basically collapsed from it? So be it. Her smile was worth it, seeing her healthy and grow. Not that Earl ever turned down help, he didn't. But....he didn't want Horo to have to worry about going hungry.

And even dead tired, Earl always tried to make things better for Horo. Cook meals for them then (or some for in advance when he'd be gone) or play games or just listen to Horo tell her stories about the day (sometimes he fell asleep but he always tried!). Other times Earl would play guitar late at night just the two of them, or to help her fall asleep. Earl also learned how to do some basic stitching and mending for clothes.

He always thought that I was just a little kid who should hide behind him, and that he should shoulder everything himself.

After the loss of their parents, Earl wanted Horo to still try to be able to be a child. To not have to deal with the grueling reality and be able to laugh easily and play and dream of the stars. Which leads to this shot. It has NEVER been about Earl doubting in Horo. He DOESN'T. He knows she's capable. But Earl never wanted her to HAVE to be. Her line of That day was when I realized I must grow up quickly to help him. is EXACTLY what Earl NEVER wanted Horo to have to feel. Before the incident with losing his leg, Horo probably WAS able to enjoy being a kid. Sure, a trouble maker most likely, playing rough versus kids in East Side, but she could be a kid. She didn't have to worry about food or money or her brother potentially dying. That's what Earl wanted for her. Not her being forced to grow up, not her seeing just how bad and dangerous Earl's jobs were or what could happen.

Earl to this day still harbors an immense amount of guilt for Horo having to see him like that on the couch after losing his leg, injured to such a degree and fighting a fever and god knows what else.. Medicine is hard to come by, Earl probably had to use it very sparingly which is WHY he was kept up day and night writhing in pain on the couch. He could see and hear Horo crying and it made him feel terrible through the pain. He still tried to soothe her when he could but it was so obvious Earl was suffering while trying to take care of her. But you can't take away witnessing that. No amount of soothing would take away the image of those people carrying Earl in, of Horo realizing Earl's lost a leg, the sheer helplessness of it all.

It's probably what cause some of the tension and disagreements between them later on that are mentioned once or twice. Earl has ALWAYS fiercely loved Horo as his little sister. But...he does very much feel he has to carry everything and doesn't want to give the burden to her. As the oldest sibling in my family, I've always felt the need to be strong in front of my siblings too. You feel like you HAVE to be strong for their sake. Earl did too. He always felt he had to be the pillar, to never falter. And he did for a long time. But losing his leg hurt that, because it forced Horo to see Earl is human, and made Horo think she had to grow up and forget that childhood freedom. Earl didn't want her to, tried to dissuade her NOT because he doubted her, but just...so she didn't HAVE to choose that path if she didn't want to.

It's something that Earl struggles with in his survival verse as well. Because it's like seeing that all over again but WORSE. He's helpless and weak and Horo's crying beside him and she can't do anything again. And the threat of death is SO, SO much closer this time in the hospital bed. He feels that guilt all over again and worse when he sees Horo sobbing because he's faltered again.

Really? All Earl wants is for Horo to be happy, to live HER life how she wants to. Not because of feeling she has to, or Legion, or anything. He just...wants the best for his little sister.

[hooned]

enhypen's dancers congratulating them after their 3-day concert 🎉🍾

[modmad]

LADS IM FREAKING OUT my dear friend @cartoon-kitsune sent me a present and I was literally wearing this outfit when BAM. POPPY.

WE MATCH??? THE HAIR AS WELL this was not planned I can't. I can't believe how gorgeous she is or how funny it is that I'm literally the same colours rn THANK YOU SO MUCH KIT ;A;

also...

SHE BIG

[lotus-pear]

got around to fully coloring two of the requests yippee‼️

[skunkes]

[bigfatbreak]

THEY CAN TAKE HER IN FOR SURGERY!! AAAAAA

[djarin]

one of the main reasons i love ofmd is the unapologetic queer joy they show us. there's not a single moment where the drama revolves around a character's "coming out" moment. there's no need to accept or reject anyone for what they identify as. like, for fuck's sake, there have been so many moments in the show where they explicitly tell us, "hey, this is us, take it or leave it." no explanations, no justifications—just pure, unfiltered representation. it truly drives in the point that at the end of the day, queer people are also just simply people.

as much as i appreciate the abundance of queer representation we're getting now, i cannot emphasize how much a show like ofmd means to me. i am begging more companies to do what ofmd is doing and just show queer people living as boring old fucking people instead of as victims. take us beyond existing as an educational tool or a plot device. show queer people being people, and we'll stop being victims.

"kill me. kill us all. our spirit will last throughout your entire fսckin' empire because... we're good." you know what this show teaches us? that queer people are resilient as fuck, and that whatever we may have been told, shown, and made to believe about our queerness is wrong. we're good. we continue to be good despite the hardships we face. despite all the shit our elders and trailblazers have gone through from the beginning. despite the political landscapes of today that continue to try to strip us of our dignity and rights. we still exist and we will continue to exist—as people first, and victims last.

[febrezeluna]

i love living in this head. sometimes it blesses me with visions such as this one

who is gonna draw gricko and frost playing dress to impress on roblox and being way too invested in it with me huh

[arnault]

there are just so many ways to say "i love you"

[uukipi]

lucien on his way to give a gift to elain and b ignored for the 50th time

[renonv]

I've been thinking about Cardverse again and I'm working out some personal head cannons such as: Romano as the second joker card, and how do jokers exist within that universe 🕴

[pinkturnabout]

lawyer yuri day is EVERYDAY

[petricorah]

something something i will follow you into the dark (comic wip)

[mispelled]

Sorry for immediately angsting him up but hermie 2.0 must have even more identity issues than original hermie

Lyrics from Sweet Tooth by cavetown

[scary-lasagna]

Can I request a scenario where it's the middle of the night and jeff is asleep but he wakes up to the sound of his pregnant S/O crying in the kitchen so he grabs a knife thinking she's hurt but she's having really bad cravings and they don't have the food she's craving? Sorry just super fluffy idea

Jeff

He's always been the guy to keep a bed knife tucked between the mattress and the box spring.

For emergencies, of course.

Your partner found you absolutely sobbing on the kitchen floor, heaving your shoulders with heavy gasps and wails, complete with a tear-stained, puffy red face that looked like you'd been crying for quite a while before he found you.

"Hey, hey!" Jeff took a quick scan to see if anything was out of place, or if any blood leaked out of places they shouldn't.

Everything seemed fine, excluding the mess of cooking ingredients around you. Crumbles of cornstarch showed no mercy to your tears, strewn about the kitchen after what seemed like a tantrum of throwing it on the floor.

"What happened, my sweet?" Jeff asked softly, kneeling down in front of you and cupping your pathetic little face between his palms.

You were blubbering and crying so hard, Jeff could barely piece together the words to help you.

"I JOUSt AWANTed [hic] I wAOUNTED to MaUOKE- I WANt eD to MAKOE MI FaOrVuTIe [hic] CHciEKAn saUOUCEEEeEeeeee"

"Ohhh, you wanted your favorite sauce to eat? Were you trying to make it?"

" yeah :("

"Ohh, my poor little [Y/N]..." He cooed and pulled you in closer, and you cried harder, knowing how safe you could feel with him.

And you two stayed there on the kitchen floor, covered in cornstarch as he rocked you to calmness.

And it turned quiet and peaceful, and your hiccups and sobs have long since died down as Jeff rubbed your back.

This only made you realize how good of a partner he is, and triggered the waterfalls again.

He couldn't help with laugh a little, "Why are you crying again?"

"I JuOSUt LOuvE YOuuUUUuu." <:(

[choiyeonjuns]

hueningkai reading a letter from his mom💌 (credit)

“to. my one and only son kai kai! it’s mom, i feel like it’s been so long since i wrote you a handwritten letter. i remember the day you went to bighit to sign your trainee contract. it’s already been 7 years since you got curious about being a trainee and thought “should i give it a go?” you cried a lot when you were a trainee and you went through…”

“thinking about you going through a lot always just makes me feel bad. even though there were many times when you wanted to give up, you overcame everything and finally debuted. it’s already been 5 years since you debuted. even after debuting, working as an idol is not something that’s easy but you always do your best in every situation and keep consistently growing.

i’m really proud that you’ve become a confident kai from the group tomorrow x together who lots of people have high expectations for.

you’ve worked hard and been through a lot and you’re doing a really good job.

kai, you don’t know how grateful i feel when you tell me that you’re happy doing what you’re doing.

i think the struggles you went through as a trainee were always on my mind. of course, going forward, as you continue working, there will be tough days. but i hope that on those days, you remember that mom and your family will always be right by your side, cheering you on, no matter what, when or where.

my extremely kind kai, you always need to stay healthy and happy, okay?

since i’m very much a T, i still have times when it’s difficult figuring out how you feel. i’ll try harder to be better at that.

thank you so much for being born as my son.”

“i think that mom was born to give birth to lea, kai and hiyyih. i love you my precious son, kai. you’re the best. kai is the best.

from. mom who loves kai so much”