#AND IM JUST SOBBING BC

[deathfavor]

. There's a lot to unpack in this little section of Horo's interrogation so I'm going to break this into a few different sections because I want to dedicate time to a few big points that are actually right here.

No one in the mean streets could beat him.

I didn't really think too much on this the first time I read it. But sitting back and rereading it? We know how vicious Syndicate can be. There's lots of older people around who will attack younger groups. So Earl was probably fighting against lots of older people just as much as he was people around Horo's age or his own. And this is even AFTER extremely labor intensive work.

Which means Earl was probably once a SERIOUS threat and fighter. He was once very much on the frontlines, taking on anyone. A strategic fighter always, but he could afford to be a bit more reckless and direct about it. More like Zoya and Horor's approach. Someone no one messed with.

And then he lost his leg.

It probably was BRUTAL for Earl to go from being someone who could take down anyone and everyone who tried to mess or tease Horo, to having to relearn something as simple as how to walk again. The physical pain was awful, but there was a lot of emotional and mental pain that he didn't want Horo to have to see him deal with. A helplessness he had never faced but he also needed to be strong for Horo's sake in his mind. So he never let it show, yet it HURT. To go from a fearsome frontline fighter to having to be strategic. Sure, Earl awoke as a Sinner at that point and had powers now. But it was hard. Even now, Earl IS a capable fighter, but he's very much aware of his limitations. He's not as mobile or fast as he once was. It IS a weak point in theory (less so in practice but that's a different post). Direct combat isn't his forte like it used to be. It's a loss Earl took hard but never admitted to anyone. Instead he decided to become the best at strategy so he could crush people without having to need to fight. But sometimes? Sometimes he misses what he used to be. There's also the sad thought that Horo and maybe Zoya also had to see that shift from the front to the shadows.

He was our breadwinner

Horo mentions he's the breadwinner, which is no surprise. He's the oldest, it's both expected and what he wants to do. Horo mentions he did the work of two people. He pulled multiple shifts of labor intensive jobs because he wanted to provide for Horo. They only had each other. Sure, we know Jer was there to watch after them. But I'm sure Jer had his own family and his own needs. Earl didn't want to have to depend on people. He wanted Horo to be able to eat good food and have clothes and just...not have to struggle. If he had to work till he basically collapsed from it? So be it. Her smile was worth it, seeing her healthy and grow. Not that Earl ever turned down help, he didn't. But....he didn't want Horo to have to worry about going hungry.

And even dead tired, Earl always tried to make things better for Horo. Cook meals for them then (or some for in advance when he'd be gone) or play games or just listen to Horo tell her stories about the day (sometimes he fell asleep but he always tried!). Other times Earl would play guitar late at night just the two of them, or to help her fall asleep. Earl also learned how to do some basic stitching and mending for clothes.

He always thought that I was just a little kid who should hide behind him, and that he should shoulder everything himself.

After the loss of their parents, Earl wanted Horo to still try to be able to be a child. To not have to deal with the grueling reality and be able to laugh easily and play and dream of the stars. Which leads to this shot. It has NEVER been about Earl doubting in Horo. He DOESN'T. He knows she's capable. But Earl never wanted her to HAVE to be. Her line of That day was when I realized I must grow up quickly to help him. is EXACTLY what Earl NEVER wanted Horo to have to feel. Before the incident with losing his leg, Horo probably WAS able to enjoy being a kid. Sure, a trouble maker most likely, playing rough versus kids in East Side, but she could be a kid. She didn't have to worry about food or money or her brother potentially dying. That's what Earl wanted for her. Not her being forced to grow up, not her seeing just how bad and dangerous Earl's jobs were or what could happen.

Earl to this day still harbors an immense amount of guilt for Horo having to see him like that on the couch after losing his leg, injured to such a degree and fighting a fever and god knows what else.. Medicine is hard to come by, Earl probably had to use it very sparingly which is WHY he was kept up day and night writhing in pain on the couch. He could see and hear Horo crying and it made him feel terrible through the pain. He still tried to soothe her when he could but it was so obvious Earl was suffering while trying to take care of her. But you can't take away witnessing that. No amount of soothing would take away the image of those people carrying Earl in, of Horo realizing Earl's lost a leg, the sheer helplessness of it all.

It's probably what cause some of the tension and disagreements between them later on that are mentioned once or twice. Earl has ALWAYS fiercely loved Horo as his little sister. But...he does very much feel he has to carry everything and doesn't want to give the burden to her. As the oldest sibling in my family, I've always felt the need to be strong in front of my siblings too. You feel like you HAVE to be strong for their sake. Earl did too. He always felt he had to be the pillar, to never falter. And he did for a long time. But losing his leg hurt that, because it forced Horo to see Earl is human, and made Horo think she had to grow up and forget that childhood freedom. Earl didn't want her to, tried to dissuade her NOT because he doubted her, but just...so she didn't HAVE to choose that path if she didn't want to.

It's something that Earl struggles with in his survival verse as well. Because it's like seeing that all over again but WORSE. He's helpless and weak and Horo's crying beside him and she can't do anything again. And the threat of death is SO, SO much closer this time in the hospital bed. He feels that guilt all over again and worse when he sees Horo sobbing because he's faltered again.

Really? All Earl wants is for Horo to be happy, to live HER life how she wants to. Not because of feeling she has to, or Legion, or anything. He just...wants the best for his little sister.

[dicipher]

Alt routes aside:

[hooned]

enhypen's dancers congratulating them after their 3-day concert 🎉🍾

[cursed-rat-of-homosexuality]

they... they call him the nightcrawler bcs mah boy is CRAWLIN all night long haha- *coughs up blood*

[modmad]

LADS IM FREAKING OUT my dear friend @cartoon-kitsune sent me a present and I was literally wearing this outfit when BAM. POPPY.

WE MATCH??? THE HAIR AS WELL this was not planned I can't. I can't believe how gorgeous she is or how funny it is that I'm literally the same colours rn THANK YOU SO MUCH KIT ;A;

also...

SHE BIG

[lotus-pear]

got around to fully coloring two of the requests yippee‼️

[periwinkle-the-11th]

ngl as a chronic-pain-haver who regularly sorrows over the lack of chronic-pain-comfort-fics, getting into jayvik is doing great things for me.

[skunkes]

[kangals]

FLUFFY GUY HAS MADE HIS FIRST ORBIT OF THE SUN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEPLER! 🎉🔭💫

[edelgards]

there are just so many ways to say "i love you"

[bigfatbreak]

THEY CAN TAKE HER IN FOR SURGERY!! AAAAAA

[rayroseu]

back in the trenches... another book 7 rambles 😭😭

CRYING ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY.... DO YOU KNOW THE IMPLICATION OF THIS.... realistically, one of the first words of babies are referring to their mothers and the last "true parent" that held Silver was his mother, Princess Leia, but here baby Silver called out for his father, and Lilia didnt taught him that😭

Now these words might be calling out to Lilia now, but I'm also thinking since TWST is a world where babies can recall words or songs they heard even when theyre "not concious yet", I was thinking baby Silver heard this word when he was still with Dawn 😭😭😭 Imagine Dawn holding this baby and guiding him to speak his first words like "papa"... and thats like Dawn's last moment with Silver... AAAAA 😭😭😭😭

since this was still infant Silver, I was thinking this memory occured when Silver was adopted by Lilia only a week or months ago 😭✨ so its still possible that baby silver was reacting based on his past (which can potentially be baby Silver is remembering Dawn through Lilia in this scene)

AAAAAAAUAGFJWJFS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 The fact!!!! The fact that he only took after being his father because he didnt want to deny this baby's affection !!!! LILIAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[djarin]

one of the main reasons i love ofmd is the unapologetic queer joy they show us. there's not a single moment where the drama revolves around a character's "coming out" moment. there's no need to accept or reject anyone for what they identify as. like, for fuck's sake, there have been so many moments in the show where they explicitly tell us, "hey, this is us, take it or leave it." no explanations, no justifications—just pure, unfiltered representation. it truly drives in the point that at the end of the day, queer people are also just simply people.

as much as i appreciate the abundance of queer representation we're getting now, i cannot emphasize how much a show like ofmd means to me. i am begging more companies to do what ofmd is doing and just show queer people living as boring old fucking people instead of as victims. take us beyond existing as an educational tool or a plot device. show queer people being people, and we'll stop being victims.

"kill me. kill us all. our spirit will last throughout your entire fսckin' empire because... we're good." you know what this show teaches us? that queer people are resilient as fuck, and that whatever we may have been told, shown, and made to believe about our queerness is wrong. we're good. we continue to be good despite the hardships we face. despite all the shit our elders and trailblazers have gone through from the beginning. despite the political landscapes of today that continue to try to strip us of our dignity and rights. we still exist and we will continue to exist—as people first, and victims last.

[littlest-bugz]

Man :( My uncle kinda bummed me out about my fantasy series.

He's like "well you need humans or elves or something that readers can already relate to" and I'm like

the 10+ species I made was for nothing? The species I made to replace the human population is just,,, irrelevant? Like damn :( I really broke my back making this fantasy realm for 8 years, and I have to change it entirely now because humans need to be there for 'relatability'?

My wee little heart is shattered,, Would literally anyone read a fantasy series that doesn't have humans or elves?

[uukipi]

lucien on his way to give a gift to elain and b ignored for the 50th time

[vangbelsing]

Can I be so transparent and say idc about the Neve and Lucanis ship. I'm not a big fan of it but also it's whatever so when it happens I just kinda stand there like🧍‍♀️okay??? BUT I am about to kill myself at the idea of Emmrich being with Strife and not me