#AND IM JUST SOBBING BC

[deathfavor]

There's a lot to unpack in this little section of Horo's interrogation so I'm going to break this into a few different sections because I want to dedicate time to a few big points that are right here.

No one in the mean streets could beat him.

I didn't really think too much on this the first time I read it. But sitting back and rereading it? We know how vicious Syndicate can be. There's lots of older people around who will attack younger groups. So Earl was probably fighting against lots of older people just as much as he was people around Horo's age or his own. And this is even AFTER a day of extremely labor intensive work.

Which means Earl was probably once a SERIOUS threat and fighter. He used to be on the frontlines, taking on anyone that was a threat. He was always a strategic fighter, he planned, but he could afford to be a bit more reckless and direct about it. More like Zoya and Horo's approach. Someone no one messed with.

And then he lost his leg.

It was psychologically BRUTAL for Earl to go from being someone who could take down anyone and everyone who tried to mess or tease Horo, to having to relearn something as simple as how to walk again. The physical pain was awful, but there was a lot of emotional and mental pain that he didn't want Horo to have to see him deal with while recovering because she was so young. It was a helplessness that he had never faced before but one he felt he had to hide because he also needed to be strong for Horo's sake in his mind. So he never let it show, yet it HURT. To go from a fearsome frontline fighter to now having to sit back in most of the fights. Sure, Earl awoke as a Sinner at that point and had powers now. But it was hard. Even now, Earl IS a capable fighter when he needs to, but he's very much aware of his limitations. He's not as mobile or fast as he once was. It IS a weak point in theory (less so in practice but that's a different post). Direct combat isn't his forte like it once was. It's a loss Earl took hard but never admitted to anyone. Instead he decided to become the best at strategy so he could crush people without having to need to fight or before anyone COULD fight - better for him and later for the Legion too. But sometimes? Sometimes he misses what he used to be. There's also the sad thought that Horo and Zoya also had to see that shift from the front to the shadows. To see Earl's fame as a fighter fade away, but at least he found a new way to be just as vital to the team

He was our breadwinner

Horo mentions he's the breadwinner, which is no surprise. He's the oldest, it's both expected and what he wants to do. Horo mentions he did the work of two people at LEAST while he was working. He pulled multiple shifts of labor intensive jobs because he wanted to provide for Horo the best he could. They only had each other. Sure, we know Jer was there to watch after them and help out when he could. But I'm sure Jer had his own family and his own needs. Earl didn't want to have to depend on people. He wanted Horo to be able to eat good food and have clothes and just...not have to struggle. He wanted her to be a KID that she was. If he had to work till he basically collapsed from it? So be it. Her smile was worth it, seeing her healthy and grow. Not that Earl ever turned down help, he didn't. But....he didn't want Horo to have to worry about going hungry.

And even dead tired, Earl always tried to make things better for Horo. Cook meals for them then (or some for in advance when he'd be gone) or play games or just listen to Horo tell her stories about the day (sometimes he fell asleep but he always tried!). Other times Earl would play guitar late at night just the two of them, or to help her fall asleep. Earl also learned how to do some basic stitching and mending for clothes.

He always thought that I was just a little kid who should hide behind him, and that he should shoulder everything himself.

After the loss of their parents, Earl wanted Horo to still try to be able to be a child because she WAS still a child. To not have to deal with the grueling reality of life and be able to laugh easily and play and dream of the stars. Which leads to this point. It has NEVER been about Earl doubting in Horo. He DOESN'T. He knows she's capable. But Earl never wanted her to HAVE to be. Her line of That day was when I realized I must grow up quickly to help him. is EXACTLY what Earl NEVER wanted Horo to have to feel. Before the incident with losing his leg, Horo probably WAS able to enjoy being a kid. Sure, a trouble maker most likely, playing rough versus kids in East Side, but she could be a kid. She didn't have to worry about food or money or her brother potentially dying. That's what Earl wanted for her. Not her being forced to grow up, not her seeing just how bad and dangerous Earl's jobs were or what could happen.

Earl to this day still harbors an immense amount of guilt for Horo having to see him like that on the couch after losing his leg, injured to such a degree and fighting a fever and god knows what else.. Medicine is hard to come by, Earl probably had to use it very sparingly which is WHY he was kept up day and night writhing in pain on the couch. He could see and hear Horo crying and it made him feel terrible through the pain. He still tried to soothe her when he could but it was so obvious Earl was suffering while trying to take care of her. But you can't take away witnessing that. No amount of soothing would take away the image of those people carrying Earl in, of Horo realizing Earl's lost a leg, the sheer helplessness of it all.

It's probably what cause some of the tension and disagreements between them later on that are mentioned once or twice. Earl has ALWAYS fiercely loved Horo as his little sister. But...he does very much feel he has to carry everything and doesn't want to give the burden to her. As the oldest sibling in my family, I've always felt the need to be strong in front of my siblings too. You feel like you HAVE to be strong for their sake. Earl did too. He always felt he had to be the pillar, to never falter. And he did for a long time. But losing his leg hurt that, because it forced Horo to see Earl is human, and made Horo think she had to grow up and forget that childhood freedom. Earl didn't want her to, tried to dissuade her NOT because he doubted her, but just...so she didn't HAVE to choose that path if she didn't want to.

It's something that Earl struggles with in his survival verse as well. Because it's like seeing that all over again but WORSE. He's helpless and weak and Horo's crying beside him and she can't do anything again. And the threat of death is SO, SO much closer this time in the hospital bed. He feels that guilt all over again and worse when he sees Horo sobbing because he's faltered again.

Really? All Earl wants is for Horo to be happy, to live HER life how she wants to. Not because of feeling she has to, or Legion, or anything. He just...wants the best for his little sister.

[shouyuus]

18+, vi-shaped brainrot, mdni

consider college roommate!vi who is the star of the rugby team and just such a fucking jock about it, spends hours at the gym, has pre and post workout drinks and never closes her door when she's blasting rock music, leaves pink hair dye on the bathroom counter, stains the tub when she gets drunk and tries to redo her roots, calls you everything but your name -- sweetcheeks, dollface, cupcake, princess -- isn't shy about her hookups, doesn't even bother to apologize the mornings after another pretty cheerleader scampers out of her room, shrugs and winks when you come out of the bathroom with a tiny thong dangling off your finger that's clearly not either of yours.

college roommate!vi who does kickboxing on the weekends and teaches a kid's course at the local gym. the first time you go there to drop something of her's off as a favor, you can't help but stare at the way she laughs and chases the kids around, so gentle with her movements, so careful, guiding their punches, correcting their forms. and the kids love her -- it's so easy to see, the stars in their eyes, the color high in their cheeks, the way the girls cluster around her legs and the boys are constantly vying for her approval, how she tries her best to divide up her attention equally between all of them.

college roommate!vi who goes real quiet the first time you laugh in her presence, a real laugh, not one of those ha-ha ones you snipe at her when she's trying to get a rise out of you, or teasing you about spending all your time in the library, but one that shakes your shoulders and makes your whole face light up. who has to blink when you cock your head and ask if she's okay bc she was so busy staring at you, wondering about the weird thumping in her chest, the tightness in her throat.

college roommate!vi who's there for you when you're stressed about your dissertation, and she knew you were smart, but listening to you rant about it at 3am in the morning, she's starting to realize that... you're kind of a genius. to be so young and already doing a doctorate in mechanical engineering, and the things you're trying to do -- they could conceivably change the world one day. who freezes when you let your head drop onto her shoulder with a heavy sigh, telling her that you don't know what to do.

"you'll figure it out, cupcake. with a brain like yours? you always do."

college roommate!vi who realizes way too late that she's kinda got it bad for you, bc since when did she start getting used to the sight of you wearing one of her gym shirts in the mornings, making scrambled eggs, rolling your eyes when she yawns her way into the tiny kitchen, leaning an arm against the fridge as she looks you over before asking what's for breakfast. who's gotten so used to falling asleep to the soft clatter of your computer keys that when you leave to visit your family for a weekend, she tosses and turns and can't figure out why it's impossible for her to get to sleep, wanders into sliver of space you guys have crammed a couch and tv into to call a living room, slumping down there to stare at the ceiling, only to feel her fingers graze against something on the ground, who tugs out the thing from under the couch only to find herself staring at one of your bunched up socks with the goofy cartoon cats pattern, and she remembers (suddenly) finding you tearing your room apart the week before trying to look for it because it's your favorite pair of socks.

she finds herself chuckling, letting the sock fall again, but the tightness in her throat doesn't recede, and invisible fingers clench in her gut as she lets her eyes fall shut.

"well... fuck."

college roommate!vi who doesn't know how to act when you get back from your weekend away, when you throw yourself into her arms, your skin still smelling of the crisp fall air and something warm, and spicy -- it reminds her of the holiday market you dragged her to last year, the cinnamon and spiced apples, the hot, mulled wine, the way it burned all the way down when she took the first sip, the way it worked the most darling flush into your cheeks above your pink knit scarf.

"i've got a present for you!" you say, when you finally extricate yourself from her gasp, your arms still around her shoulders, her hands still settled around your waist.

"y-yeah? you didn't have to do that, sweetcheeks --"

"yeah, but i saw this in a store window and -- well i just... it reminded me of you," you say, pulling back to dig something out of your travel bag, and it takes everything in vi not to tug you back into her chest. so instead, she settles for knitting her arms across her front and coughing to hide the fact that her throat's just tightened over itself at your words. you? seeing something and thinking of her? gods, she was so far gone.

"here," you say, pulling a small black box out and offering it to her on the palm of your hand.

vi stares, before reaching out to take it, her eyes flickering up towards your face, only to catch you chewing on your bottom lip in a way that makes her mind frizzle out at the edges. she refocuses her attention on the box -- opening it, she finds a tiny little gemstone, set on a thin golden chain --

"oh..." she breathes, tugging out up to let the gem dangle from between her fingers.

"it -- it's an alexandrite stone," you say, your voice a bit reedy, but you push on as vi continues to stare, "it's uhm -- one of the rarest gemstones in nature, but the cool thing is it changes colors depending on what kind of light it's under --" you reach up to grasp her wrist, her lungs seizing at the contact as you tug her into the incandescent light of the kitchen. "see? it was light blue a second ago, right? and now it's --"

"violet," vi says, her voice soft and disbelieving.

you quickly let go of her wrist, pursing your lips and wrapping your arms around yourself, looking anywhere but at her face.

"yeah -- i just --" your shoulders shrug up as she stares at you, her sky-light eyes wide, "it... it reminded me of... you."

college roommate!vi who, ever since the "necklace incident" (as the rest of the rugby team likes to call it), hasn't really been the same. she's put on the necklace and not taken it off for even a second since the day you gave it to her, but now she doesn't really know how to act around you -- bc did you actually like her? i mean, the necklace is... a pretty big thing to just give someone, but what if you were just giving it to her as a friend? as a roommate? she agonizes over it to the point that the rest of the team are so, so sick of hearing about it, they lovingly tell her to just fuck her and get it over with already. but vi insists that she can't -- it's different with you.

college roommate!vi who's stunned speechless when she gets home to find you staring at your computer, your expression blank. and at first, she thinks something's horribly wrong, but then you're slamming into her, squealing about how you've done it -- your thesis defense went well, that you're a doctor now -- and she's picking you up, spinning you around, buoyed up by the effervescence of your happiness, pressing a kiss to your cheek --

"oh my god, congrats princess! i knew it! i always knew you could do it!"

"thanks -- god, i just -- i've wanted it for so long i... i don't know what to do with myself now that i've got it, y'know?" you say, still suspended in vi's arms, your feet lifted off the ground. it takes a moment before you both seem to realize the position you're in, and vi clears her throat as she lets you down, you looking away, pressing your palms to your cheeks to cool the heat gathering there.

after a brief pause though, vi chuckles, reaching out to slip a finger beneath your chin, tilting your face up towards her's.

"c'mon, put on one of those pretty dresses of yours. we're going out."

"out?"

"yeah. to celebrate."

you blink as vi pulls her hand away.

"but it's like... 4:30 on a tuesday."

vi cocks an eyebrow, a smirk twitching at her lips, "yes, and? c'mon cupcake --" her eyes catch yours and instead of looking away, she holds it this time, something flickering behind their powder-blue depths that makes your skin prickle with heat, "i'll show you a good time."

college roommate!vi who takes you to one of her favorite clubs, tugging you through the crowd, the jostling bodies, holding your hand in her's, trying really hard not to think too much about it (or the fucking insane little black and pink miniskirt you put on), telling herself that it's just to make sure she doesn't lose you in the crowd, grinning when someone knocks you into her chest, and she finds her arm wrapped around your waist, fingers scrunching the material of your skirt, your palms splayed on her chest.

she buys the both of you a round of shots, watching with a hitched breath as your tongue flickers out to lick the salt daubed on your wrist, the way your eyes squeeze shut when you take the shot and your lips wrap around the lime slice, tries to ignore the twist in her gut like a turning blade, the way her whole body flushes with heat, the dull ache caught between her legs when you wipe your lips, your eyes bright and a little blown out, your cheeks flushed with color as you giggle and lace your hands with hers again --

"come on! i wanna dance!"

college roommate!vi who is just drunk enough to let herself dance with you, to let herself lean in to the way you're twisting your body, fingers in your hair, your eyes closed, an indulgent smile on your lips, who let's herself imagine (just for a second), pulling you in to kiss you, how soft your lips might feel on hers, how silken your skin might be beneath her hands, who tries not to groan when you lean in closer, link your arms behind her neck, press your whole body against her's, who grips your hips just a little too tight, grinds you against her, sees the way you gasp, your eyelids fluttering as you eyes glaze out --

college roommate!vi who can't help how she groans at the sight, tugs you in by the back of your neck to mash her lips to yours, crushing you to her as she kisses you (finally, finally) and you let yourself he kissed -- your fingers tangle in her choppy pink hair, and she swears you make this sweet, mind-bending whimpering noise in the back of your throat that drives her up the wall and right over it --

but when she pulls back, she sees the look on your face -- shocked and little confused, but you're drunk, and she doesn't wanna do this with you -- at least, not like this.

college roommate!vi who pulls away, only to have you follow her all the way out the club, into this small dark alley, her shaking her head, feeling a strange, saltwater prickle at the back of her throat as she says --

"shit -- sorry. i didn't mean to -- i just -- you were just so -- and i -- fuck, i didn't --"

"vi -- vi -- no, violet, listen to me --"

it's her full name on your lips that makes her pause, makes her turn to find you walking towards her. your lipstick is smeared, your hair a waterfall mess around your shoulders as you corner her against the rough brick of the club's exterior. faintly, she can still feel the pulse of music reverberating from inside the club, but out here, the air is damp and cold and quiet.

"i -- i'm sorry i kissed you," she says, her voice cracking over the syllables. she bites her lips as you frown up at her, your eyes searching her's before you let out a soft sigh and a scoff.

"well. i'm sorry you feel that way. cause..." you take half a step back, your arms curling around yourself before you glance back at her with a hard, determined light to your eyes as you press back into her space, your cheeks bright with color.

"i was really kinda hoping you'd do it again."

vi's breath punches out of her chest; it takes a few seconds of sputtering before she gathers herself enough to speak.

"wait -- what? you..."

you crinkle your nose, rolling your eyes, "i -- i thought i was making it obvious -- i mean, with the whole necklace thing -- it doesn't take a genius to figure how i feel about --"

you squeak as she pins you against the opposite wall, her lips seeking yours out, her fingers rucking up the material of your top, making you hiccup as they tease under the wire-rim of your bra.

college roommate!vi who can barely control herself when you sink your fingers into her hair, tugging lightly as you gasp out a breath, her lips tracking fire along the side of your neck, intent on making you whimper again, just the way she likes, grazing her teeth along your collarbone even as you jerk at her hair --

"vi -- fuck -- vi, not here --" you swallow around the burgeoning desire, and when you glance down to find her looking up at you, her eyes so dark they're almost black, you fight back a groan, cup your palms around her cheeks and pull her up for a long kiss.

"let's --" you suck in a breath even as vi whines at the loss your lips, "let's go home --"

"holy fuck," vi swears, somehow managing to pull herself back just far enough to taste the misty night air. she stares at you, your chest heaving, a daisy-chain of hickeys blossoming along the long expanse of your neck, your makeup good and smeared, your hair a mess, your eyes bright and so full of love as they flicker over her face.

vi smiles, helpless to the loud, uncertain drumming of her heart as she says, "y-yeah -- let's get you home, princess."

college roommate!vi who barely waits for the elevator door to close in your building before she's got you shoved up against the wall, hoisting you up, her fingers seeking out the softness of your skin, tugging up your shirt, her other hand dipping into the waistband of your skirt, her mouth open and hungry as she kisses your neck, bites down at the junction of your shoulder just to hear you moan.

college roommate!vi who's way too good at undoing your bra with one hand the second you get back to your apartment (if you were more coherent, you might've thought it hot), the door slamming closed, the pair of you toppling onto the room, breathy laughs and panting whines as she hoists you into her arms and carries you to your bedroom, laying you down so gently, kissing up your stomach till you're whimpering, your own hands pulling your top off your body, leaving you in an undone-bra and a miniskirt, your cheeks flushed. you push yourself up onto your elbows, watching as vi peaks up at you from between your legs, shooting you a wink before she's tugging down your skirt and panties all in one, an eyebrow ticking up at the lil lacey thing you had on beneath the skirt all along.

"all this for me, pretty?"

you press your lips, eyes cutting away as she looks between the bra dangling off your shoulders and the panties caught round your ankles. her lashes flutter.

"oh, a matching set," she cocks her head, running her palms up your thighs, pinning them open again as you try to press them closed, feeling suddenly much too seen (bc you'd be straight up lying if you hadn't put it on in the vague hope that the night might evolve into something like this).

she clicks her tongue, shaking her head with a cocky, shit-eating grin that makes your heart skitter in your chest. her drops a light kiss to your inner thigh, savoring in the way you whine again.

"nope, keep 'em open princess."

college roommate!vi who takes her time with you, bc rly she's been waiting way too long for this, has imagined it one too many times, but nothing can compare to the way your hips jerk up against her mouth, the way your fingers tighten in her hair every time she licks up the seam of your cunt, the way your breath catches on her name over and over again, like you can't quite get the word out even though it's just a single syllable. she groans against you, too lost in the taste of you to care about what a mess she must look like, with her tongue fucking into your desperate hole, her nose nudging your clit, her fingers digging crescent moon marks into your hipbones.

she's sure that if this were an old-fashioned cartoon, there'd be big, balloon hearts popping out of her eyes. she can't get enough of you like this -- moaning her name, your legs on either side of her face, your skin littered with the remnants of her. she has the eye-rolling thought of you the next morning, of how all these marks will still be there to remind you of her every single time you see one of them.

college roommate!vi who doesn't expect you to flip over after she's literally eaten you out seven ways to sunday, to tug her in for a soft kiss (though she really does like pressing your own taste back into your mouth with her tongue), before your fingers are inching down the length of her body to tease at her hips, trailing circles down the lines of her abs, toying with the thin line of hair that leads into her black boxer briefs.

"what are you --"

you shoot her a look that has her mouth going dry.

"what? didn't think i can give as good as i get?"

college roommate!vi who's literally going to lose her mind with the way you're fingers (at first sight so thin and delicate, but gods are they stronger than they look) are pressing into her, curling up with the kind of precision usually only associated with doctors, and then a voice in the back of her head reminds her -- oh, right, you are a doctor now. but logical thought dies after that, bc you've somehow worked your way between her legs and are looking up at her with those big dark eyes of yours, smiling sunshine bright before you drop a kitten-lick against her clit and she's twitching, keening as she cums all over your fingers.

"jesus fuckin' christ, doll -- is that what you're learning in those engineering classes?"

she's breathless, cheeks flushed, and honestly just a little embarrassed at how quickly she came, but she has to bite back another groan as she watches you lick your fingers clean, grinning sweetly up at her as if you didn't just get her off in record time.

"no, but i did do my dissertation on human-based robotics, which included a lot of late nights memorizing anatomical models so..."

vi pulls you in for a kiss, laughing against your lips.

"you're amazing, y'know that?"

college roommate!vi who can't really believe how much she's lucked out, sharing an apartment with her girlfriend, who literally cannot shut up about you, but the rugby team all agree that they'd rather have this than the months of endless pining. who brags about her genius gf to anyone who'll listen, and looks for you in the stands of all her practice matches when you can make it, who kisses you in front of everyone even when you make a show of trying to wiggle away bc she's sweaty (you don't really care).

who loves telling the story of how you guys met bc she still can't quite believe it herself, and the story always starts with --

"well, actually -- we started off as roommates."

[recipherva]

Alt routes aside:

[hooned]

enhypen's dancers congratulating them after their 3-day concert 🎉🍾

[echobsilly]

“Born On The Cob” by SalamanderMoss, read it!!!! amazing!!!!!!! 🌽 Gail choking on cornbread in Chapter 3 fanart

[cursed-rat-of-homosexuality]

they... they call him the nightcrawler bcs mah boy is CRAWLIN all night long haha- *coughs up blood*

[lilislegacy]

In the spirit of March Madness, here is your reminder that Percy Jackson is not only a huge fan of basketball and keeps up with the players, but is also a basketball player himself

I bet he’s been doing a lot of screaming at the TV lately…

[modmad]

LADS IM FREAKING OUT my dear friend @cartoon-kitsune sent me a present and I was literally wearing this outfit when BAM. POPPY.

WE MATCH??? THE HAIR AS WELL this was not planned I can't. I can't believe how gorgeous she is or how funny it is that I'm literally the same colours rn THANK YOU SO MUCH KIT ;A;

also...

SHE BIG

[lotus-pear]

got around to fully coloring two of the requests yippee‼️

[periwinkle-the-11th]

ngl as a chronic-pain-haver who regularly sorrows over the lack of chronic-pain-comfort-fics, getting into jayvik is doing great things for me.

[skunkes]

[faunandfloraas]

fav skz // minho hyungggggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[kangals]

FLUFFY GUY HAS MADE HIS FIRST ORBIT OF THE SUN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEPLER! 🎉🔭💫

[edelgards]

there are just so many ways to say "i love you"

[certainlyathrill]

they were boys together !!!

[bigfatbreak]

THEY CAN TAKE HER IN FOR SURGERY!! AAAAAA