#AND IDK HOW LONG I SPENT TYPING THESE TAGS BUT I GOTTA GET THIS POSTED NOW BUT I WANNA KEEP TALKING ABT HER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soulwillower · 4 years ago

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if you’re too shy • richie tozier

(richie tozier x cam girl!reader smut)

[based off the song if you’re too shy (let me know) by the 1975.]

requested: i can't find it lol BUT 🤍anon (i think) requested a fic based off of the 1975′s new song, if you’re too shy let me know !!

warnings: swearing, alcohol use, switch!richie kinda, smut, unprotected sex, a tiny bit of cumplay i guess, mentions of phone sex, oral sex (female receiving), face sitting, a bit of dirty talking, UNEDITED as always

also i wrote this in a different style than usual and idk if i like it much but u can let me know what u guys think,, if its weird i can go in and change the povs since its 3rd person richie

[losers + reader are 21+ in this.]

7.4k words lol

♡

i see her online all the time i'm trying not to stare down there while she talks about her tough time

"h-hey, man, who's that?" the voice from right next to richie makes him damn near leap out of his seat. it makes beverly chuckle a bit as she takes a bite of her apple, shaking her head. "it’s nobody." richie says quickly as he tilts his phone towards his chest and shoots a toothy grin to bill. his friend raises his full eyebrows, "wh-what, so n-nobody was sending you n-nudes?"

"something like that." richie mutters, stomach fluttering as the image flashes in his mind’s eye - the curves, the dark red lace, the plush skin painting a perfect scene in richie’s vivid imagination.

richie looks back down at the photo. his his thumbs hover over the profile picture; he'd found her originally on his instagram explore page, the photos teasing and immediately he had to know more. y/n.

and then a few days later, he'd subscribed to her only fans, which he never quite thought he'd do with anyone, but he couldn't help it. she was so enticing, so perfect and so alluring. it was the playfulness that pulled him in; and he swears he's never lusted after somebody like he has with her. it was kind of starting to freak him out.

"is that o-onlyfans?" bill says and richie shoves bill's nosy face off his shoulder with a panicked grunt. "fuck off, mushmouth."

bill laughs and stan and bev perk up from across the table, staring at the two, interests suddenly piqued. "did you subscribe to a girl's onlyfans, rich?" stan says with a grin, setting his pen down on his notebook.

richie just smirks and wiggles his brows a bit, enough to confirm his question. bill chuckles from next to richie.

"let me see." bev says, wiggling her manicured nails in a "gimme" motion. richie hands his phone over with red cheeks. normally he wouldn't care about his friends discovering he's paid money just to see a hot chick's bod, but this was different. for some reason, he felt connected to her. god, that thought made him want to slam his head against a brick wall. she doesn't even know him, for all he knows she could live in the middle of.... montana, or like, ohio.

bev whistles and stan nods, "if i looked like that," bev mumbles as she tosses richie's phone back towards him, "i'd do that too. mad props."

noises of agreement fill the table but richie's just looking at the small smirk that peeks from the corner of one of the photos and he can't help but wonder what her eyes are like in real life. he wishes he could meet her.

girl of your dreams, you know what i mean there's something 'bout her stare that makes you nervous and you say things that you don't mean

it's a cold day when bill and richie find themselves stumbling in to the coffee shop for a drink. bill's muttering about some girl in his creative writing class that gave him head when richie's eyes catch a figure so familiar yet foreign that he stops dead in his tracks. bill turns to him, face confused. "r-richie, what's wrong w-with you?"

richie shakes his head, stammering in disbelief, "that-that's her, bill. the girl, from onlyfans. y/n." he whispers, gesturing with his eyes towards the girl working the register.

bill’s jaw goes slack, green eyes raking over her form and igniting richie’s stomach with boiling rage. as if bill’s doing something that only richie is allowed to do – as if they're not both being total creeps.

“h-holy sh-shit. she’s b-beautiful.” bill mumbles. richie elbows him in the ribs, shooting him a glare that prompts an eye-roll from his auburn haired friend.

richie swallows and watches, his throat feeling like sandpaper as she laughs at something the customer in front of them said. bill nudges richie, "i-i'm gonna get a s-seat. t-talk to her."

he winks and grins as he walks away, leaving richie with his reckless self. he thinks he's sweating through his sweater as he walks up, finding himself face-to-face with her. "hi, how can i help you?" she asks, giving him a smile

holyshitholyshitholyshit.

he might've just came right then and there. okay, he's gotta say something cool, something smooth. don't be a dumbass, tozier.

"howdy, sugar. i'll have my coffee like i like my women." his mouth blurts as his brain sirens go off, PUT ON THE BRAKES, RICH – "a hot shock to the lap.”

she glares at him, cheeks light pink and eyebrows pulled together in annoyance and yep, richie's probably going to get hard because of that look but he's also probably going to toss his body off a bridge because what the fuck, tozier?

he can hear bill laughing quietly from a ways away and he quickly shakes his head, muttering quietly, "jail. jail, richard."

"funny." she deadpans, clearly not amused. because of course she isn't.

"sorry, i'll have a black coffee, y/n." he mutters, eyes widening to himself when he realizes she was not wearing a goddamn name tag and he just said her name.

this is a disaster. she gives him a bewildered, slightly creeped out look and if richie wasn't panicking, he'd gape at how she still managed to be effortlessly gorgeous even now.

he sighs, shaking his head, the door of the cafe opening and blowing a gust of frigid air through the warm room. fitting - douche chill.

"look, toots, i don't want this to be weird. i- um, i recognize you." he says, cheeks aflame. she raises a brow, face straight for a few moments, unsure what he means.

it's not long after when recognition flashes over her own face - must have ruled out coffee shop, university and her local gym - and she nods with a tight, almost uncomfortable smile.

he tries not to think of the livestream he watched last night where she showed all her new gifts and modeled lingerie, and how he’d spent his time to himself with his left hand immediately after watching. his cheeks are red with shame.

"okay." is all she says, writing down a scribbled order on the coffee cup. her eyes shoot back up and give richie a once-over that really makes his fingers itch - god, why did he have to be this way?

he almost runs his fingers through his curls but decides against it, eyes opting to focus on her own gorgeous eyes as they meet him. "i'm impressed i have a fan who looks like you, i must say. even if you are a complete jack ass." she purrs and his jaw nearly smacks the floor at its velocity as it flies open.

"what's that supposed to mean?" he asks then with a small grin, flattered at the tiniest of compliments that just barely, in his mind, eclipsed the insult that he so very much deserved.

"i'm saying you're kind of a dick. it's too bad, because you're real cute." she says casually, handing him his change. his stomach flips and butterflies release in his chest, a feeling that he's not felt in almost five years.

but damn, of course he messed up - he got the chance to talk to the hottest girl on earth and he started it by saying an awful joke that wasn't funny at all. of course she though he was a dick, he is one.

he's shocked, though, as he waits for his coffee with bill, who is still snickering into his hand every few moments, to find his coffee cup with extra sharpie scribbled on the white paper. a name.

y/n. and below it is a phone number with a small heart scribbled, and richie can't tell if it's a seven or a one but he figures he'd try every phone number in the damn state if it meant he could fucking text her. holy fuck.

"maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i'm not playing with you, baby i think that you should give it a go" she said, "maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i wanna see, and stop thinking if you're too shy, then let me too shy, then let me know"

he didn't text her for two days and three hours. yes, he counted it. no, he won't think about why he was obsessing over the numbers - but since the time he'd finally had found the courage to text her today, things have escalated proficiently.

she'd just mentioned how hot it was in her apartment since her heater had gone haywire - even though the winter winds were cold, she'd claimed she was burning up in what she was wearing.

and the mere mention of her clothing had sent richie into somewhat of a spiral, spending at least seven minutes glued to his phone and scrolling through the saved album he had of those photos of her that she'd posted; his sweatpants getting increasingly tight and his palm suddenly aching to slip through the fabric and find some release.

but, in true trashmouth fashion, he apparently needed that sweet, sweet rejection from a hot cam girl he'd somehow weaseled into getting the number of in order to wank off properly, so he types out a text and hits send immediately.

what are you wearing?

and then he almost vomits in embarrassment – what was she going to think? did he just royally fuck up? oh god, he’s going to have to shave his head and move to canada.

his phone buzzes and he nearly passes out when he lays his eyes upon the image attached – there her body is again, curvy and full and beautiful, her skin glowing in the fading light of what he assumes is her bedroom. and with it:

this. what are you wearing, rich?

and then he pulls his gaze from his phone and stands, breathing heavily because holy shit.

he's gotten nudes before, but.... none from someone like her. holy shit.

he walks to his bathroom, splashing water on his beet-red cheeks. he swallows, staring at himself in the mirror. fuck.

he slaps his cheek once, then winking at himself in attempt to muster any sliver of confidence. and then he snaps a picture, only in his boxers.

and then he has to physically refrain from making a joke about wearing the same lingerie set as her, instead sending a flirty text that he knows any other woman would blush at. he just doesn’t know with y/n, and maybe that’s why he loves it so much. she's keeping him on his toes.

you like what you see?

he sends that one afterwards, shaking his head because oh my god, she's going to respond with "no" and then bill him $40 for the nude she sent him. not that he wouldn't pay, but...

his phone dings and he nearly breaks an ankle running to his desk.

yeah, i do. but maybe i'd like you better without any clothes on.

he almost yells out loud at this, but he has a feeling that waking up stan in the middle of the night would not be optimal after their 'roommate agreement' they'd made that explicitly states richie cannot scream between 1am - 9am. so instead he smirks to himself, face turning red.

he's getting harder by the moment, and as he stares at that picture she'd sent earlier, he lets out a breathy groan. the lace....

we could face time yk

or we don't have to.

he reads her words in live time, watching the thought bubble appear again and watching it like a hawk. he can just imagine her sitting there with a small smirk as another text comes in and he almost groans as his dick twitches.

like, if you're too shy or something ;)

he stares at the screen for two seconds at that sinful photo she'd sent just before those texts and then sighs, shaking his head and pressing the green face-time call button.

i've been wearing nothing every time i call you and i'm starting to feel weird about it sometimes it's better if you think about it this time, i think i'm gonna drink through it

three days later, richie was undeniably and unequivocally drunk. but, as he's just explained about three times to mike, he knows that it is just easier to not think right, especially about her, right now - and the best way to do that is by getting so piss drunk that even if he tried to "hit her line," as he so eloquently put it, his dick would be too whiskey'd out to make a full appearance.

it's for the best. mike had fake gagged at richie’s cadence with a laugh, but richie was dead serious because he was starting to think he had a real issue.

it was obviously just a fun thing to do between two near-strangers, but he'd found that he was starting to almost pavlov-style condition himself into getting turned on every time the name y/n came across his recent texts or face times, and it was getting to be too much.

especially when her post notification popped up and he cracked a fatty in the middle of his econ lecture. christ, the point of elasticity of markers in the u.s. was not something he pictured when he usually had to quell a pitch in his tent. so yeah, it's too much.

because yes, he loves her fucking body and wants nothing more than her, but in truth he longs for the feeling of her skin against his; to touch her, to kiss her, to make her his. all the time.

but yet, it was just a good way to get off without all the strings and ribbons and yarn and whatever the fuck her soft-looking knit bra is made from attached.

so much for not thinking about her.

but i see her online (and don't think that i should be calling) all the time (i just wanted a happy ending) and i'm pretending i don't care about her stare while she's giving me a tough time

it’s noon the next day and he's laying in (for some reason) stan's bed instead of his own with a blinding, mind-splitting headache and an insatiable craving for a cheeseburger, eyes squinting in lust and something akin to shame as he watches the livestream y/n had just started. she’s in a slip – a very thin, silk and see through slip and it makes him more frustrated than he’s willing to admit.

as he stares at her smooth skin and wonders how it'd be to touch it all, her eyes catch something in the chat and she smiles coyly. "hi, rich." she purrs and richie almost chokes - holy shit, she saw him join.

"do you like my gift i just got?" she asks coyly, snapping the straps of her bra with a small smile and he stiffens almost instantly, thinking of how many times he'd seen her skin in videos and photos that were just for him.

how she'd moaned his name two nights ago on face time, her fingers buried inside herself slightly off-camera. and oh, how he wishes he could see all of her, but they'd not crossed that line yet - anything they'd done hadn't been yet proven visually, only from facial expressions, noises, and the brutal honestly of being together through face time.

he wants her so fucking bad, he needs her like he needs water to drink and air to breathe and it's murdering him as he watches her react to the chat of her livestream, playing with the hem of her black lace panties.

god, he needs a cold shower or something if he's going to get anything done today.

and then he's calling her an a few hours after her stream ends because he just can't wait - he feels his stomach twist with shame as he realizes he should not be doing such a certainly a terrible idea. but she answers after three rings. "richie." her siren voice purrs and he literally feels himself fall deeper into the pit.

"hi there, toots. got any coffee in the pot for me?" he asks, sounding surprisingly eloquent compared to how she normally makes him feel.

she hums in fake thought, and it makes richie grin. she's fucking adorable. "come to the shop, i have my break in ten." and then she hangs up. he sighs, rubbing his face with his hand as he shakes his head. he's utterly fucked.

he's there in record time, a smirk plastered on his face as he walks in and sees her sitting at a table, lookin' all pretty. just for him.

"what made you think of calling?" she says in loo of a greeting. he sits across from her and wills his eyes to meet hers. "nothin' toots." he says with a half shrug, taking a sip of the coffee placed in front of him that has the the name 'dick' written on it in her handwriting. he rolls his eyes affectionately.

"oh, so it wasn't anything to do with my livestream this morning?" she asks with a look, eyeing him. her eyes are swimmable, they hold so many stories and secrets and maybe richie's just hungover, but he's feeling very flustered.

"we-w, uh, no. what... what are you talking about?" he rolls his eyes at himself inwardly, cursing stuttering bill and his contagious speech patterns. "-i don't know what you're talking about, sugar." he recovers fairly smoothly, if he may toot his own horn. and honestly, he can pretend not to care as long as he doesn't look into that goddamn stare of hers.

he chuckles awkwardly, cheeks aflame as she stares at him with a bored look and a small hum. she still looks perfect and he's even more nervous now, because oh god, oh fuck, he's gonna get slapped in the face by y/n.

it was pretty unspoken since they'd started doing... stuff... that richie probably still watched her content online, but she'd never fully addressed it until today during the livestream in front of a thousand others.

he's choking on his spit in shame but then a smile splits her face and richie's sure he's suffocated on his own saliva and gone to a sinner's heaven. or maybe hell.

"oh, richie, i'm just teasing you. look at your face!" she says with an airy laugh, pinching his cheeks and making him want to shrivel up as he turns even redder. what the fuck? "-so cute. alright, i've got to get back to work. i'll see you around, rich." she says with a wink, taking her coffee and tossing it into the trash bin as she stalks towards the employee back room.

he gapes as he watches her leave and then gets up and makes his way to the exit, clutching the coffee like it was trying to jump out of his grasp and make a run for it. god, she's too much.

"maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i'm not playing with you, baby i think that you should give it a go" she said, "maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i wanna see, and stop thinking If you're too shy, then let me too shy, then let me know"

"-babe, you'll have to try harder than that." richie says with a chuckle, watching his phone screen as the beautiful girl on face time gives him a sly, challenging look. she's in a green lace bra, one richie's not seen yet and he can feel himself stiffen as she absently trails her fingers over her chest.

they'd been much closer over the last week since he last saw her in person, enough so that in the three-is weeks of knowing her, he's positive he's head over ass for her in a way that he shouldn't be. and yet, she still comes back every time, still texts him and answers those face time calls. he's baffled, honestly.

"i know you hate me because i'm right." he adds, not even totally remembering what point he's trying to prove as y/n shifts back a bit and more of her body is revealed, her hair glowing dimly in the soft lighting of her room. his eyes run over her curves, her full thighs and stomach and hips that fill over her panties and he almost groans.

"whatever, maybe i'd like you better if you took off your clothes." she says coyly. and richie's half flattered, as usual, but the more he thinks of it the more deflated he feels. he kind of thought they were growing something more than just getting each other off over face time like horny fifteen year olds. he grins nonetheless.

"you say that a lot, you know." richie says breathlessly as he stares at her. she tilts her head ever so slightly and grins, biting her lip as her eyes move around her screen with a conflicted look. "-why?" he adds.

she hums again.

"well. okay, so there's the visual world - like, the internet, onlyfans, instagram- it tells us that everything is amazing. and we should want everything. and it makes us yearn for everything that we don’t have and everything that’s unobtainable. you know, love, a relationship beyond physical. and even physical, it's different when it's online."

her words confuse him much more than they aid him. "you think... that because of the internet, love is unattainable?" he asks with furrowed brows, unsure how somebody so perfect and, quite frankly, lovable, would think that.

"it is for me." she says it with a small sense of forlorning but mostly it's whispered. enough that richie's heart skips a beat and he's, for the first time, not having a hard time keeping his eyes on her face instead of her body.

"what?" he asks dumbly. she just laughs, shaking her head and he stares at her on his tiny phone screen in the dark.

"that’s something that, you know. in real life, person to person, it has a lot of connotations of... trust and vulnerability and connection. doing what i do- and what we're doing… on the internet - it has the opposite of those connotations. like, before you, i didn't- i didn't really do this, i just was selling stuff. because guys don't want to fuck the girl who sells her body online. and you know now, i want to..." she trails off and richie doesn't dare interrupt her because he thinks she's about to say something he's wanted to tell her for a while now.

"i don't know, i guess. exploring someone's body in physical presence isn't seen at all as voyeuristic, or anything apart from...like, an intimate exchange." she says it casually, brushing hair from her face and shit, richie's swooning. he's in fucking love, he knows it, because y/n is so smart and intelligent and he's so fucking trashed for her. as she speaks, her hands move and distract him slightly from her body, doused in blue light from the screen and splayed out for him and only him on her phone camera.

the soft lace on her hips and chest make his body stiffen and it causes him to suppress a groan as she sighs, but richie knows he can’t screenshot this heavenly sight because she’ll definitely notice and she can probably already tell he’s having a hard time not staring at her alluring figure as she talks.

"-whereas, you know. as soon as it happens on the internet, it becomes kinky and cam-girly. and, you know, that's fine. i love doing it. it's just, i'm not sure where the authentic communication even is now. or if i get to have a happy ending." she says and he finally sees her blush for the first time.

he wishes he was there with her, he wishes that he could touch the redness on her cheeks and caress her curvy body and taste her skin on his tongue. he wants to feel himself inside her, he wants to be with her and kiss her lips and yet he can't, so he sighs and shifts in his position, moving to turn up the brightness of his phone so he can see better.

"shouldn't you get to be the one to decide that, doll?" is all he adds. because he feels kind of lost and just as confused as y/n is with this.

he's starting to feel weird about it, because... is this authentic? what makes things like hookups or whatever the hell they've been doing authentic? shouldn't this be easy? it's just phone sex, phone sex with a really hot girl.

a girl who is complex and alive and full of sincerity and richie is definitely falling harder than he should.

she just sighs but makes no other comment. and then they just stare at each other, richie's face illuminated in his dark room by the phone's reflection.

well, i found a motel it looked like the bins i think there'd been a murder so we couldn't get in i need to get back i've gotta see the girl on the screen

"come over and watch a movie with me." he says into the phone, biting his lip. the silence from the other end of the line is deafening as she makes her decision, because they both know she's not about to come over just to watch the shining or psycho.

they've never done that before, and richie knows if she does come over, then whatever they have will crash down in a fiery mess. and he hates how excited that makes him as he waits in silence for her to drop the ball. so to speak.

"okay." she says, sounding shocked herself, and richie can't contain the excited grin from eclipsing his face. "yeah?" he asks breathlessly, and she's quiet for a little longer. "yeah. text me your address."

she hangs up after that, and richie's thumbs shake as he types his address and sprints out to where stan, mike, ben, and bill are playing video games in he and stan's living room, wheezing at all of them to get out because someone fucking unbelievable is about to walk through that door.

she's there about an hour later, cheeks flushed when richie opens his door, looking just as nervous and flustered. "hi, chee." she says breathlessly, staring up at him with those goddamn eyes, the eyes that pulled him in the first time. his stomach flips in affection at her nickname and he offers her a drink as she takes in his shitty apartment. he wonders briefly if stan ended up buying that rosé that he'd given him shit for considering, and then prays that stan will stay the night elsewhere.

she's already pouring out glasses of wine when he snaps back to reality, and he grins at her, mumbling in thanks as she passes him a glass that's certainly poured almost to the brim.

"what are we watching, then?" she asks coyly, lifting a brow at him. his cheeks are red, but he tugs her arm down the hall towards his room with a grin, their wine sloshing from their glasses as they move erratically.

"we're watching psycho, y/n/n." he says as he pulls her into his room, glancing back to see she's already swallowed down almost half her glass, a lipstick stain on the side of it. faintly he knows stan will be frustrated if richie doesn't clean that off, but he's more distracted by her lips.

"i like psycho." she says with a nod and a cheeky grin, "the whole 'voyeuristic gaze' thing with hitchcock." she mumbles, and richie recalls faintly learning about that in one of his film classes freshman year and he grins as he takes a hefty gulp of his rosé, figuring he's already given himself away and if she's going to do that, he can too.

he hums, setting down his glass and grabbing hers to set it besides his on the bedside table. he turns around, intending on grabbing his laptop so they could watch the film, but she's so much closer that he'd expected and her hands fall onto his shoulders and he almost shits himself.

unpleasant, but honest. just richie's style.

"can i try something?" she asks with a grin, and richie nods, knowing that she could do anything to him and he'd gladly let it happen and most likely pay out of pocket for the damages afterwards.

and then she's pulling him from her grip on his shoulders, her lips sliding against his and making him grip her hips. his mind almost explodes at with y/n-sensory-overload because he feels her everywhere - on his lips, against his hands, on his shoulders, and pressing against his front.

her lips taste like chamomile and rosé.

she thinks his lips taste like vanilla and cigarette smoke, just as she'd always imagined. he feels so real, pressed against her lips and his body against hers, and she sighs as her tongue slips into his mouth because god, she's needed him for so long. and now she has him.

his hands move, touching every inch of her as their tongues fight for dominance. she pulls back, smirking as she gently pushes him onto his mattress, sliding onto his lap smoothly afterwards, grinding her hips against his slowly.

the moan he emits is heavenly and she could cry because she finally gets to hear it in person and not through the crackling static frequency of the phone.

so she grinds down on him again, eager to feel all of him. he's hardening against her core and she whimpers into his mouth in need as his fingers slip under her top, rubbing circles on her bare skin and making her shiver. she's noticed to this gentleness; it was rare when she did get to enjoy the comfort of another body with her own, and when she did they were hardly half as loving or caring as him.

she's desperate now, she needs to feel him inside her after all these weeks of teasing and waiting, so her hand snakes down to palm him through his sweats. he lets out a small groan into her mouth, biting her lip as he pulls back slightly. their eyes meet and his are hooded with lust, lips parted as she pumps him slowly from outside his sweats. his hips buck up lightly into her palm and she smiles gently, kissing him slowly.

"let me make you feel good, y/n." he mutters, eyes pleading as he stares up at her. her stomach flutters with butterflies and she nods, shocked that he wants to pleasure her.

he gently pulls her off his lap until she's laying on his mattress and he stares down at her, biting his lip as he takes her in. he can't fucking believe she's really here. she slowly pulls off her top, leaving her in her bra and jeans as she stares up at him with a wry, seductive smile. then she unzips her jeans and slides them off, leaving her in his favorite set of hers - black, lacy, and revealing. she looks utterly stunning and he groans, his hands falling to run over the skin, tracing the lace on her breasts. her cheeks are red as she gazes up at him.

"touch me, richie." she orders and he almost groans as he drags his lips over the valley of her breasts, sucking on the soft flesh and admiring the splashes of budding purple and pink that he's created. her heartbeat is quick under his fingertips and he moves to unclip her bra, kissing her skin as the fabric falls away.

she's slightly cold in his room, and goosebumps appear over her flesh as richie leans to catch a nipple in her mouth, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. she lets out a quiet whine that has richie rutting into the mattress next to her, his fingers trailing down to dance at the waistline of her underwear.

and then he's pulling aside her panties, his fingers running up and down her slick folds and making her jump in lust. he can't wait, just like her, and he's rubbing her clit teasingly as she pleads, "chee, please." her eyes are eyes closed in bliss as his finger slips inside her, crooking slightly as he moves it. he presses his lips to the skin of her breast, pumping his finger and then soon adding another, crooking them both in a way that makes her let out guttural moans of pleasure. he marks her breasts with littered pink and red marks, smiling to himself at her figure.

she can't help but swoon as she watches him, his hair in his face slightly until she brushes it back, his fingers curling inside her and making her gasp, pleasure coursing through her body. his thumb softly comes up to rub her neglected clit and she grabs his shoulders to steady herself, the pleasure almost too much.

she's honestly slightly shocked - knowing richie as little as she really does outside of the literal booty calls at two in the morning and the accumulative forty five minutes they'd spent in person, she'd expected him to be... well, good. just good. because there's no way someone so funny, caring, and smart could also be that good in the sheets.

but right now, he's making her see goddamn stars.

"i've been wanting to touch you for so long, sugar." he mutters, eyes raking over her figure as her breath comes in stuttering gasps. she watches him with blown-wide eyes as his demeanor changes right before her, making her fall apart at his fingertips.

"that feel good, honey?" he asks, smirking as she whimpers, clenching around his fingers. "yes, god you feel so good." she utters, making him groan in approval from where he's sat back, watching her face contort in pleasure. she lets out another moan and richie stares at her body, watching his fingers as they fuck into her. he can't take it, then.

"will you sit on my face, doll?" he blurts, and she nearly yelps out as his fingers leave her. it's abrupt, but she's started to notice that this is how he operates - impulsivity is his second nature. and she loves it.

her face burns as she nods, the thought of richie under her making her whimper with anticipation. "yes, richie, please." she moans out again and he's grinning, laying back on the mattress with a wink. "c'mere, need to taste that pretty little pussy." he mutters and she feels herself clench around nothing, desperate for him as she swings a leg around to straddle his head.

immediately, his hands wrap around her thighs, thumbs smoothing over her stretch marks as he stares up at her, eyes glinting with desire. slowly, his finger pulls the seat of her lace panties to the side and his breath hits her bare, throbbing pussy, making her breath hitch. she cards her fingers through his hair and lowers herself slightly, gasping in shock as his tongue darts out to lick a bold stripe up from her entrance to her clit.

"chee," she moans out, tightening her grip in his hair and sending a groan through his body that reverberates and makes her shiver. his lips attach to her clit and fiery pleasure snakes through her body making her legs shake, a moan escaping her lips immediately. he sucks lightly before releasing to swirl his tongue, her moans making richie impossibly harder through his sweats.

"so good, rich." she mutters and he groans, tongue spreading her wet folds and slowly prodding at her entrance, dipping in slowly before pulling out, teasing her.

she can't help but grind down slightly, making richie grip her tightly, tongue sliding into her again and making her yelp. "you taste so good, baby." he mutters lowly before slowly reattaching himself to her heat, her eyes rolling slightly at the sensation as he fucks his tongue into her. one of his hands snakes up to her ass, gripping it tightly and then slapping it, the stinging pleasure making her buck her hips against him, emitting a hiss from her.

"rich, i-" she cuts herself off with a sharp gasp, the pleasure from richie's mouth making it increasingly harder to speak. her toes curl and her head tilts back as his tongue flicks over her clit, teeth grazing it slightly and making her buck.

she's embarrassingly close already, and judging by the way richie's smirking under her, he can tell. "please, please." she mutters, hips rocking on him as his tongue swirls, nipping softly at her clit and making her cry out. "please, make me cum, 'chee." she mutters and his tongue moves quicker, hand slapping her ass again.

and then she's clenching her thighs on either side of him and grinding down as she hits her peak, moaning quietly as she shakes in pleasure on top of him. he rides through her high, lapping at her and pulling away with a grin as she moans his name dejectedly. she's worn out from the best orgasm she's ever had and he gently nudges her so he slides in between her thighs, her back now on the mattress. he kisses her cheek and she keens quietly.

"fuck me, richie." she mutters, eyes still closed. his eyes snap to hers, surprised at the dominance in her voice after how she was two seconds ago.

he moans quietly, kissing her deeply as he ruts against her and relishes in the feeling. he's pulling off his sweats and boxers in record time and then he's pumping himself as he grips her hips, turning her so she's on her stomach, ass propped up slightly. his hand runs over the smooth skin of her ass, snapping the elastic of her panties and making her moan quietly.

then he's lining up her hips with his, pulling aside the lacy seat of her underwear to press against her entrance. he waits a moment as he leans to press a soft kiss to her spine, slowly easing into her. she moans loudly as he eases in, her face pressing against the pillows. she smiles as she smells the scent she'd just recently come to know as his, his cock stretching her and filling her up fully as he buries himself to the hilt inside her.

"so tight, sugar." he mutters and she whimpers, getting antsy as she adjusts to his size. "richie, please, need it so bad." she mutters, bucking her hips back against him in need.

"say that again." he mutters, sounding strangled, and she grins into the sheets. "please fuck me, richie. need it so bad, need to feel you ruin me." she whimpers, chest fluttering in anticipation. his hands grip her hips as he pulls out of her slowly, almost as slowly as he entered, before stopping almost all the way out. she moans loudly in pleasure as he pushes back in, snapping his hips against hers and filling her completely.

she briefly thanks god that his roommate seemed to be out for the night as she moans his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

he sets a brutal pace, his cock thick as it fills her up and makes her toes curl. he pushes her hair away from her neck and presses kisses to it as he hits a spot inside her that makes her scream his name. his fingers move to pinch her nipples, rolling them as he fucks into her.

she's completely blissed out at the feeling of him inside her, so glad that he invited her over and that they finally get to touch each other. "rich, oh my god." she emits, eyes squinted shut in complete pleasure.

"fuck, toots, takin' me so well, aren't you?" he asks, hands kneading her ass before slapping her right ass cheek harshly, making her arch her back. at the new angle they both let out a groan and richie knows he'll fucking cum too soon if they stay like this, so without warning he pulls out completely.

y/n whines, breathing heavily as his hands come to flip her around. now on her back, they make eye contact and she bites her lip, pulling him in for a searing kiss that knocks the wind out of both of them. images of richie in his room alone, snaps and late-night face times play through her mind as he grips her and slides her hips down towards him on the mattress and lines himself to her again, pulling her legs up so they're against his chest before pushing in.

he gives no time to adjust to this angle and it makes her moan loudly as he hits a spot deep inside her that pulls her closer and closer to her second orgasm.

his name leaves her cherry lips like a mantra and he can't stop staring at her as he fucks her into the mattress - the way her tits bounce with his brutal pace, the way her face is twisted in pleasure, the way she clenches and spasms around his cock.

one hand grips her breast, rubbing her nipple with his thumb and forefinger as he kisses her again, addicted to her taste as he feels himself coming closer and closer to the edge.

"chee, fuck, right there." she moans out and he groans in pleasure, the feeling of her walls clenching around him making his hips stutter. he keeps his thrusts up, though, as her fingernails rake down his back leaving small trails of burning pleasure in their wake.

her skin is covered with a sheen line of sweat as she looks up at him, hair wild and lips kiss-bruised. "god, don't stop, 'm gonna cum." she mutters and he snaps his hips harder, eager to make her cum so hard all she can think of is his name.

he moves a hand down to rub at her clit and he moans into her neck as she clenches hard around him, her hips bucking spastically. he can tell she's about to cum, and after a hard thrust, she does for the second time, spasming around him and sending waves of pleasure up his body. she's moaning his name, pulling him closer in bliss as she becomes sensitive and god damn it, she's so fucking beautiful.

"please cum, richie." she whispers against his lips, "please." and then at her will, he's spilling into her, hips stuttering as he pushes as deep into her as he can, loving how she clenches in sensitivity around him. he stays inside her for a moment as they breathe, coming down from their highs and eyes closed as they take in what just happened.

"holy shit." he says because yeah, that's like all he can say right now because he just got to fuck y/n and she's kissing his fucking collarbones right now and its making him blush and his heart flutter.

"that was...incredible." she whispers against his skin and he can feel her smile against his skin. it makes him feel all soft inside as he pulls out of her and flops next to her, kissing her forehead.

his fingers flutter over her sensitive core, smiling as he sees how wrecked she is, some cum dripping down her leg. he then soothes over the lace panties, patting her lightly and kissing her red cheek.

"rich?" she asks, making him look up at her. he hums in question, pushing some of her hair back. "can we still watch the movie?"

his heart swells and he grins, kissing her softly. "of course, doll. you're too cute." he says with a wink, making her roll her eyes. he hands her his shirt and then pulls sweats on himself, mumbling "stay here" and padding out to the kitchen to get her water and snacks, then returning minutes later to see her holding his phone in her clutch with a smirk.

"what're you doing?" he asks with a smile, but she shakes her head, making grabby hands for him and the snacks. so he laughs, cuddling up with the girl of his dreams and watching a flick, falling sleep with tangled limbs and a lipstick-stained neck.

and after she leaves the next morning with a kiss and a wink, he checks his phone and smirks to himself as he notices the lock screen she'd apparently made last night while he was making snacks.

a photo of her in his bed, wearing his shirt, a soft smirk on her face, neck littered in budding hickeys and a hand between her thighs next to her black lace panties.

god, she's going to be the absolute death of him.

//tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @emnotm @moon-shine-baby @toziershmozier @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @beauregard-s@finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss \\

#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier smut #richie has adhd #losers x reader #losers club x reader

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ruby-whistler · 3 years ago

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Are you normal or do u sometimes go "IVE BEEN SCARED OF SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHTS ON(off? Idk its hard to decipher)"/lyrics -curious anon

me: oh boy, can't wait to try and make a tumblr blog! Before i do i should research it- *what in the hecking heck is an xkit*

djskdjsk i had no idea what an xkit was until yesterday and when i got it i got too confused and uninstalled it - dw curious anon i don’t use it either i just vibe and do whatever i guess. if you tag correctly and make good posts things should work out, can’t wait to see your acc around!

I got some sad-ist merch :DDD!!

yooo!! that’s so pog for you! it’s probably pretty comfy :D

me standing ominously in your askbox waiting to rec my fav fics:

fjsjdjsk i literally just finished passerine i still have 80 more (some of which are like 300k words long) on my to-read but uh if they have c!dream mischaracterized i’ll not be reading them anyways so it’s very hit-or-miss, will probably get through some of them quicker-

After many moons spent under the dsmp, seeing discourse and analysis alike, i have come to the conclusion i simply do not have the energy to care about any lore outside of c!tubbo and c!tommy's and will only defend them. And that is ok. It is ok to not watch or care about all dsmp or want to discourse about them or analyze. Idk man was thinking deep thoughts today

it’s ok to watch entertainment and enjoy it the way you want to! it’s great to want to enjoy or talk about your fav character!

the problems come up when you attack other people for their perspectives on the medium or spread misinformation about different characters based on only watching the perspective you like, but you know - if you’re not doing analysis, you really don’t need to look that deep into it.

it’s ok to just chill. your feelings about characters are valid! :D so yeah i agree with you! let people with different opinions exist if they’re also being respectful (e. g. tagging correctly).

Hey ik u worked with animgician's newest vid and i found a not-crit (i rlly think) little thought on it if u wanna see it

yoo feel free to send it in!!

No one: me: *shuffles around* wanna hear about my cool warden c!tommy au?

may i interest u in a little bit of my writing? If not that is ok i just wanna see if my writing is any good before working on a fic lol

Anyways if i am not in the askbox for a little it is because i am now writing a proper fic thing out. Wish me luck o7 -curious anon (i have three different lyrics i am going to be incorporating and a little analysis and just a smidgen of projection)

Ruby do u wanna read a little something i wrote? *does the little fingers thing* its really short just a headcanon with a little prose

i sure do! that sounds rlly cool - are you sure you don't wanna make a post about that on your own account though? i don't mind seeing it at all but i think the c!tommy tag would be able to appreciate that au better than my followers. you've gotta find the right target audience, y'know? /lh

though of course i'd love to see your writing, i'm sure it's great! looking forward to it :]

Ayo i remembered u talking about how punitive punishment doesn't work the other day so i want to discuss. What would u consider to be a fitting "punishment" for c!dream's canonic killing of mexican dream?/gen

i mean... we're not trying to - being against punitive justice is about the fact punishment is wrong, not just certain types of it. asking me what a "fitting punishment" would be is sort of very not getting the point.

hurting people further is not going to teach them anything and it’s not going to help anyone, why is it necessary?

so the answer is: none. he shouldn’t be punished, actually! he should learn on his own that what he did wasn’t right, and that’s about it. that’s the thing about transformative justice. him becoming a better person who Wouldn’t Do That again because it goes against who he is.

however, there’s also restorative justice, which is working to “make it up” to the victims. to which i propose; dream has the revival book and could literally bring him back once he is out of the prison. give him some powder maybe. md would probably be chill w/ that.

Yknow. In all my time in dsmpblr i can confidently say that the main differnece between c!dream apologist/enthusiants and c!wilbur/sam ones is that the c!wilbur/c!sam ones want their fav to have a breakdown and c!dream ones want theirs to get positive reinforcement /hj /lh

i’m pretty sure the sam and wil ones also want them to get better/get redeemed, at least deep down, but i get what you mean! you’re *glances at the 🟩⛏ gc where all we do 24/7 is write angst about c!dream being terribly hurt and then we cry about it* 100% correct. no angsters who like the pain here *nervously laughs* we all just want him to heal and be happy for the rest of his life with no heart-shattering breakdowns whatsoever! /s /lh

Hope ur having a great day m8 :]] -curious anon (also i have a new canon fact i wanna share. In quackity's alt lore stream yesterday he said (to the best of my memory) that "no law/juridsiction exists on the dream smp to prevent one from building anywhere" so i guess that clears up the big debate on wheather or not c!dream had a right to enforce rules (or basically the arguement that he owned the server by divine rule)

no i’m - i’m pretty sure that’s just how it works. dream still owns the smp, but he himself has said wayy back at the beginning “everyone can build and go wherever they want” and that was that. it was one of his rules on the smp, it was his main problem with l’manberg. being able to build anywhere were the rules that he “had the right” to enforce. and he did, not because he was a god, but because it was his smp, his home that he claimed for his friends. wouldn’t call it a big debate, it’s really that simple.

.AGONY. HURT EVEN. THIS IS HOW IT IS FOR CURIOUS ANON. I LAUGH, I CRY, I FIND AN ANIMATED GIF ON TWITTER THAT SQUEEZES MY C!TOMMY ENJOYER HEART INTO OBLIVION. (i am being dramatic btw for the funnies just so ya know) I AM NOT GOING TO FINANICALLY RECOVER FROM THIS. AAAAAAAAAAA UEEEEEEE

OK THAT FREAKING

O U C H-

also for the old phil ask. Hes a bad dad because of how he treated ghostbur. I will elaborate if u want

didn’t ghostbur just say “i’m not wilbur” and philza said “you’re not my son” and they went on with their day? weren’t they actually in agreement that he wasn’t the same as wil when he was alive? i don’t remember him really treating him badly tbh other than disowning him which seems fair to me, because ghostbur was a literal stranger to phil at that point?

wish you a nice day, curious anon! (i’ll be back on my essays and answering other asks now, so i might not reply right away :])

#my asks #curious anon #long post

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alfairy · 4 years ago

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I'm rather curious why Lord Commander and Invictus have this thing about Ash, (well we know why with mooncake), and this Gary we see unlike the rest.

They don't really care that much about any other person in the group (besides maybe avocato because he went against lord commander, and he has no problem making avocato suffer the consequences)

But I wonder if Gary will even be killed, I wonder if Lord Commander's gonna use him for something else. I wonder what Invictus wants with Ash besides being freed as well.

It's clear Invictus wants Gary all alone, but if Invictus wanted Gary dead- it would've been done already. Since season 1 I've questioned if Gary has some type of titan power/ability maybe made possible by nightfall or so on.

Idk how to do read more on tumblr so imma just tag as a long post just in case. I’m not sure Gary has any abilities. At the most, I could see something similar to what happens with Madoka Magica? Where all the constant time traveling the girl does to save her friend from dying only ends up tying more strings of fate to her and makes her more of a target in the future.

I think Invictus has this obsession with Gary? Think about it. You’ve been trapped in your space prison in Final Space for thousands of years. And for the past 20 (according to Nightfall at least) this same guy has been showing up nonstop and stopping you every time. That’s gotta bring up some interest from Invictus. It knows Gary better than Gary knows himself at this point.

I think Invictus knows how useful and dangerous Gary could be given the circumstances. Compared to the other timelines, our Gary is kinda unstable. He lost his father, his mother wasn’t there for him, he was homeless for a while after he was abandoned, then he spent five years in space in isolation before latching onto the first people he met.

What reason does he have to care about the universe after the shitty life he’s had? The only reason he freed Bolo and went to final space was to save Quinn, that’s it. If Gary has nothing left to lose or care about, I think he could be dangerous. Why else would Bolo think he could be the death of everything? Without people to ground him, he probably wouldn’t really care about the rest of the universe. Which is why Invictus seems to be trying to separate him from the others.

Sure, Ash is a main priority given her powers, but it’s interesting how Invictus hates Gary for constantly stopping it, yet when the opportunities present themselves it doesn’t straight up kill him to get him out of the way.

#asks #final space #long post

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magic-is-something-we-create · 5 years ago

Text

Character Playlist Tag!

AAAAA THANK my main was tagged by @lemon-writings, thank u again!!!

this also took a while because i got Invested in finding The Song for all of them

Rules: In this tag, you take the characters from one of your WIPs and select a theme song for them

We’ll be exploring the main 4 of Firebreathers, as well as several of the... less main? characters. They’re not minor, we get a lot of their viewpoints along the way. Idk. I’ll do intros for the others tomorrow probably, tho, SO lets go

Ember Timber: Money Run Low by The Score

I've been working my hands down to the bones / Where you gonna be when the money run low?

A lot of their time is spent working, both to make rent, and to make a better future alongside the rebellion, and the above lyrics are the most applicable to that, I think! Also, the bitterness in how it’s said in the song is exactly the way Ember would talk about this stuff, if they had an outlet.

Nimbus Timber: Wolf Bite by Owl City

It's another nightmare / I swear there's something out there / So save me 'cause I'm so scared / Will you show me the way?

Nimbus is plagued by nightmares and insomnia, and that, on top of his anxiety, self worth issues, and overall feeling of being lost is really captured in this one. Also, tbh, Owl City is my dream voice for Nimbus, at least when he’s singing.

Gabbro Meywin: Hurt Somebody by Noah Kahan + Julia Michaels

I'm afraid to be lonely / Nobody told me / It's harder than I thought to tell the truth / It's gonna leave you in pieces / All alone with your demons / And I know that we need this / But I've been too afraid to follow through

A lot of Gabbro is tied inherently with Ember and the complicated way their relationship has evolved over time. A lack of communication between the two has been a recurring issue, but they’re slowly working it out, and I think this particular piece of the song illustrates his fears pretty well.

Iceberg Corona: Next Up Forever by AJR

This is my imagination / This is how it looks and sounds / But I gotta go so much bigger / So they can never shut me down / I'm kinda scared of graduation / 'Cause who am I when this is done? / I wanna be next up forever / So the best is always yet to come

While Ice isn’t graduating, the insecurities about what comes next and who am I outside of all of this and if I don’t do this now, I’ll never have a chance are real to him and his struggles, especially with his place in the revolution and how he’s been wrapped up in it since before he could even really realize what he was fighting for. With the revolution almost there, almost to the point where it can make a change, he’s terrified.

Now for the side characters! With a healthy dose right away of what the fuck:

Tieling Evergreen: Hero by Elizaveta + Pegboard Nerds

This one is definitely less for the lyrics, though they are relevant, with the Chosen One thing and all, but there’s a particular part towards the end that’s sung in an almost awe-struck devotion type of way, and imagining the moment he immortalized himself (+Arthur Coldstone) to that choir makes chills run down my spine. With thousands of people praising them for divine intervention, and as the choir sings, everyone in the city rotting alive to fuel their ‘’’immortality’’’. And then, Tieling turning to Arthur with a wicked grin on his face, because “I made us gods, dear, can’t you see?” while Arthur retches on the floor of the temple in disgust at what Tieling’s just done.

I don’t know, it just makes me feel some type of way.

Also, since this post is getting long, I’ll drop names of the others real quick, with their songs, so you get a little bit of a feel for who they are/what their struggles will be during the book:

Dusk Timber: The Boy by Laurentius + Rosendale

Maple Timber: Cookie Cutter by Ivory Layne

Andesite Meywin: Where Do We Go by Lindsey Stirling + Carah Faye

YEAH so that was long again, i apologize. I’m gonna tag @keen2meecha, @akanorskwritblr, and @themillionthdraft!! no pressure, as always, and if anyone else wants to do it, feel free to tag me!!

#tag game #firebreathers #ember #nimbus #gabbro #iceberg #evergreen #dusk #maple #andym #coldstone

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annakie · 5 years ago

Text

Notes on a Blog Cleanup (& some other stuff) Part 4

Made it all the way back to to page 1000.

Started with 3021 pages. Currently have 2954 pages, adding in posting 10 - 13 times a day for the last month... deleted somewhere around 87 pages of posts (or around 1300 total). I’m in April 2015. So it took two and a half years to do 50% of my posting here and nearly another year and a half to get that down to 2/3rds. It’ll just speed up from here.

Anyway, here’s a bunch of words about tumblr, fandom, and Doctor Who.

I’ve found myself deleting more news articles lately. There’s almost no cringe-y stuff left. If I go back and do this again it’ll be even more deleting current events stuff unlessI connected to it somehow.

A LOT of the content creation I ever did happened in this time. I did so much giffing for Who’s Line, a lot of video game stuff, especially Mass Effect, cause you know, it’s me, and a lot of edits and such. Some way better quality than others. I was also getting thousands of notifications a day from the few things I did that were really popular back then (still sometimes get notes on that Whose Line/Elmo/Game of Thrones gifset to this day).

I know I’m not like, the best at gifs and edits, but hey, I think some of it is like, pretty good? There’s a few things I’m a little sad about that just never took off, but I bet all people who try and post OC on Tumblr feel that way about some of their stuff. A few things I made did surprisingly well, though.

I still will make the odd gif/photoset there that’s more than just “here’s some nice screenshots I took slightly edited” but honestly, I feel like these days it’s so hard to get many notes on tumblr at all? Like there’s just so fewer people making stuff, and even less reblogging gifsets/photosets? Idk, maybe it’s something more specific to my overall followers and who you all follow? But I made a joking post a couple of days ago about my dash feeling weird because not everything is specifically tailored to me after scrolling through my blog, but on the OTHER hand, I also feel like, overall Tumblr has become just yet another place to post memes and text posts and has the big problem of the Reddit/Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram (+TickTock) circle where each place is like 50% screenshots/reposts of content the others? This obviously isn’t a criticism of any actual people, but just... what tumblr has become the last year or two? Is it just me? Like you can find some gifsets and such with a couple thousand notes here and there but... just not as much is being produced now? Does that make sense?

Like a month or two ago I spent a couple of hours specifically looking for good general fandom blogs specific to several fandoms I’m in and... it’s hard to even find those blogs anymore. Like, “fuckyeah” type blogs that are someone’s sideblog about a specific topic. And hey, believe me, I’ve created and abandoned several of these kinds of blogs on my time here (and at least one I’d keep up with but.. it just doesn’t have any content being generated for it so it’s just... sparse) so I get it. Maybe I’m just not looking in the right places, I don’t know.

I keep wondering how much longer I’m going to keep doing this little project, and then every 10 or pages I come across a post I didn’t tag properly that’s now been found, or something I just really wanna get off my blog and I’m like “Welp, when I stop finding these, I’ll stop looking. So maybe in like, 2018. :p LIterally finding posts I forgot I ever made in the first place and like has made it worth it.

Notes on TAH Fandom

This was also the phase of being heavily heavily like SO heavily into The Thrilling Adventure Hour. And I have a lot of thoughts on that, too.

Literally, one of the best decisions of my life, tbh. Not every moment of being like a SuperFan of this thing was sunshine and roses, but most of them really were. Honestly, I made such good friends. I had some extraordinary experiences, doing things that I wouldn’t have otherwise done, for sure. I traveled to Seattle, Chicago, New York twice, and LA three times, hanging out with new friends, and getting to know the cast of a thing I loved so much, and also somehow getting to be known by them as well. There were things that happened that I didn’t blog about here because I never wanted to come off as braggy, or just to keep a confidence. There were a few not-as-great things that happened during that time, but basically, 2014 through mid-November 2015 will likely go down as one of the best time periods of my life, for a lot of reasons, but a good chunk of that was the experiences I had through TAH.

Hoo boy though, I blogged about it a LOT. Like, it felt like almost as much as early blog was about Doctor Who. I was, uh, real enthusiastic and am now kinda regretful about some of those early fandom tags. Also turns out some of the TAH people looked at my blog more than I knew, I think, so a little yikes there thinking back on it now. But also I was kind and helpful a lot, so all of that was good.

This is a good recap post of all of the awesome stuff. And even that glosses over a lot of the really cool stuff, or skirts around some of it, just to try and stay brief about it.

One of the big things I learned from that experience was that being a very involved person in a fandom is such a double-edged sword. For one thing, it honestly became somewhat of a second job for me, which I 100% put upon myself. But running FYTAH (with Shannon!) and admining/writing a large percentage of the TAH Wiki (with Ange!), working in the booths at conventions (with Jena + Shannon/Kitty/Jamie/Dani) and being available to help in a variety of other ways was A Lot. Which again, I took on willingly. And Ange warned me about it several times but I was like “No I want to do this.” So then it also kind of turned into like a customer service job even outside of working at the cons. After awhile you gotta smile and be nice allllll the time. I ended up taking a lot of things offline to a small subset of friends. And most of that came from other fans, not from the show itself (except like, feeling like I couldn’t show my true disappointment when the show was ending, or feeling like I couldn’t air any criticisms I had about the show except in very private conversations.)

At one point I was having an email conversation with a couple of those friends and realized that, for the first time in my life, I was like a “popular kid”, which was weird. And I tried my damnedest to be as welcoming and inclusive and not to let anyone feel left out. But also there’s a point where like, you can only take on so much, and you can only be actual friends with so many people? You can be kind and welcoming and enthusiastic and all, but you only have so much time and energy to give away. There were so many messages I never answered still sitting in my / the FYTAH inbox or in email and some on twitter because I just didn’t have the bandwidth to give away sometimes. It was a weird lesson to learn because I knew it so well in general in my personal life, but had never had to apply it... in this way before? Does that sound weird? Or braggy? I feel like I’m walking on land mines with this one.

For a more specific example of what I mean, in March, 2015 ten of us rented a house and lived in it for a long weekend for the TAH 10th anniversary show + a fun getaway vacation. Everyone invited was someone I knew or were close with someone else in the group. A few more people had been invited but couldn’t afford it, so word got around a little bit. And it was AMAZING. But I later heard that there were a few people, most of whom I didn’t really know, were hurt that they weren’t invited. Jena and I spent dozens of hours and put a lot of financial risk into being the custodians of the trip for even the ten of us, and it was a huge undertaking. It was never meant to be a thing for the entire fandom, just a group of people who were already friends. But there was still a small kerfluffle from a few people about it. Which, I TOTALLY get feeling bad about being left out but... it was always supposed to be a relatively small thing, never any kind of “Official Fandom Get Together”. And we definitely didn’t have the time/money/ability to host an “open call for anyone to come” type thing. Just coordinating 10 people (and about 25 - 30 overall getting together to hang out at designated times over the weekend) was... more than enough.

At one point sometime later people started suggesting that we organize and hold an actual TAH-Con and I... let that one pass me by without really talking about it. It was definitely too much, and even then I knew it. And I mean, the shadow of Dashcon was still hanging over all fandoms heavily in those days. I wasn’t about to become the next Dashcon. It never got past a few emails being passed around.

So yeah, to be honest, if I could go back and do those years again, I absolutely would, it was like 95% awesomeness. But I think in regards to some of the fandom-specific things, I’d be a little less of a doormat, and I’d be a little more careful about spreading myself too thin.

So now that the show is “back”, I am enjoying listening to it, and I’ll reblog some things or post big news on FYTAH, but I’ve been lazy about even helping out with the wiki (I keep meaning to get back to it, Ange is still doing great) because... although I’m still a HUGE fan, I also am gonna be more laid back about it now.

I also haven’t REALLY loved a thing in the same way since TAH. The closest there has been is Critical Role, and I’ve been real careful to stay out of any actual fandom stuff there. I really love the thing, but I’m gonna keep with my group of 5 or 6 other fans I already know (all from other fandoms) who love the thing too, and stay out of wider discussions. With some of the stuff happening there lately, it was a good decision.

Wow, that was a lot of words. Sorry.

Hey one last thing to catch up on.

Doctor Who Rewatch 2019!

I’m now already at 6x01, into the Silence episodes.

So I did finally rewatch the Desert Bus episode that I hated so much before and like... this time... it was fine? Cheesy and all, but not so bad that I should have hated it as much as I did? Also noticed the Doctor doing the classic “gonna hit on this girl really hard in the beginning then drop her so quick at the end” thing to the companion of the week. Ah, Ten. The most bi-polar of all Doctors. I’m gonna be honest, I decided to skip on through Waters of Mars because I realized I was just ready to be done with Ten at that point. I’ll probably go back to it at some point but I wasn’t ready for another Ten Temper Tantrum, maybe the worst one of all, in that episode.

So I finished Ten (and oh man that whole two-parter to end Ten with... like the whole Master plotline is such a stinker. The first half, in particular, is so bad, the only really good scene is the one in the cafe with Wilf. The rest of it... wow. Wasn’t that whole thing written like the week before filming and never really edited or something? IDK.) The last half hour or so is really good though, with Ten’s sacrifice (after a tantrum) and then all the companion goodbyes (except Joan Redfern’s granddaughter, bleh).

But yay, on to Eleven and Amy and Rory and more River!

Season Five is... wow it starts off strong and really stalls there in the middle for a bit. Picks back up a bit with Rory returning, then somehow has two great episodes without Rory and ends strong, though the first pretty nonsensical Moffat-era “this doesn’t make sense but it looks and sounds so good you don’t care, right?” season arc and ending. Season six, I’m already remembering, is way, way worse for that. But anyway. Rory remains my second favorite companion ever. And episodes with Amy, Rory and River continue to be my favorites. Also? Matt Smith is so good.

But even early on in season six I’m remembering how really dumb the overarching plotline is... Moffat is great at “Oh man this will be cool so I’m gonna throw it in there! (and it really is some very cool stuff!) and hope it all makes sense later! Or just don’t think about it too hard!”

Honestly though, despite all the quibbles, most of the episodes work on an individual level if you don’t think about the the overall arc Moffat is trying to do. Even those that are a bit sloggy, like the Cold Blood/Hungry Earth two-parter, have enough great moments to justify watching them. (Ambrose is still maybe one of the worst “regular people” characters to ever be on this show, though.) There’s still no “Fear Her”. And that’s pretty good.

Also? The blog itself is now about as Doctor Who oriented as it is in the last year. Like... oh the season is airing? There’s a lot more good stuff to reblog, I’ll reblog good stuff. Season not airing, a scattered post here and there. It’s a much better place to be.

After Amy and Rory leave, that was about the end of my true like “Doctor Who Obsession” phase. On my Blog we’re in the break between Amy and Rory leaving and Clara showing up. I never really clicked with Clara, I think like a lot of people. Like I really liked the season with Danny, but after that season I never really rewatched episodes, so I’m looking forward to getting there and experiencing some stuff again for the second time.

#personal post tag thingy #notes on a blog cleanup

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makeste · 6 years ago

Text

BnHA Bonus Rant: Top 10 Anime Betrayals

or, ITP makeste talks about the mysterious ~U.A. traitor~ and who it could be.

this was originally typed up as part of my recap for chapter 83 (which I won’t link here due to tumblr being picky about posts with links in them, apparently? but you can find it under the “makeste reads bnha” tag), but it got so long that I cut it out and made it into its own post. also, this post is spoiler-free, assuming that you are caught up with the anime. I haven’t gotten much further along myself (only up to chapter 141), so I’ll request for manga spoilers to be left out of any discussion lol.

okay, so! to start off, I’ve gone back and forth on the whole traitor thing. part of me doesn’t want there to be a traitor in U.A. because there are a lot of ways to fuck that up, story-wise. I don’t want it to feel forced, or for the other characters to look really stupid in hindsight for not having figured it out, or for the traitor to be someone I really like and so it ends up feeling weird and OOC because I was so sure they were a good guy. and also, I don’t necessarily think that a mole is the only possible explanation for the attacks on U.A. there are a other ways the villains could have been getting their information. mind control/mind reading, or disguises, or hacking into U.A.’s security, etc. there are other possibilities, and most of these don’t even require quirks to boot.

having said that, I will acknowledge that the fact that the story brings this possibility up repeatedly and discusses it at length makes it much more likely to actually be the case. otherwise it’s a waste of a plot seed. so fine, for the time being let’s assume there is indeed a traitor. and I know I said not too long ago that I wasn’t going to discuss this, but I say a lot of things, and it turns out I have some thoughts on this after all so. lol.

here are my top 10 suspects for U.A. traitor, ranked from least to most likely.

10. All Might

nah just fucking with y’all. it’s definitely not All Might.

9. Aizawa

yeah, gonna go out on a limb and say it's not the guy who was nearly murdered by the villains and sustained permanent damage in the USJ attack.

8. Vlad King

I feel like if it was Vlad, he would have tried harder to keep his own students out of the crossfire. also he has a dog. he’s a nice person, dammit. shame on you for suspecting this poor man.

7. Snipe The Sheriff

he’s not a prominent enough character to be the traitor. it wouldn’t be enough of a shock.

6. Midnight

can we not have the sole female U.A. faculty member be the goddamn traitor please and thank you

5. One of the Students

first of all how dare you

but second of all, shit. I feel like this is the first of these options that’s actually a legit possibility, if only because the shock value would be off the charts. but I don’t like this because we’ve gotten to know almost all of these kids extensively, and they’re all goddamn heroes. these are good kids. don’t tell me one of them has been secretly evil this whole time. that’s not gonna fly, and would be incredibly difficult to pull off without it feeling contrived and stupid. but it would be shocking though, ngl.

there is, however, one exception to this, and it’s a big one. but I’ll get to that in a little bit.

4. Rat Principal

first of all, Rat Principal is clearly evil regardless of whether he’s a traitor working with the League of Villains or not. I mean just look at him. he’s a cute little rodent thing with an unparalleled IQ who likes to drink tea and plot things in his office. and also he was experimented on or whatever and is clearly a little deranged. really, the only reason I don’t think he’s the traitor is because he’s so overtly and unquestionably fucking evil that it would be way too obvious. let’s all just breathe a sigh of relief that this fiendish little capybara is on our side.

okay, so now we’re getting into the top three. these are the only people who I could actually see being the traitor, really. I could have just made this a top three and saved myself some time and effort, but then I wouldn’t have been able to post the picture of Nezu with the tea cup, so. I did what I had to do.

anyway

3. Tsukauchi Naomasa

okay, so I’m aware that this one doesn’t make much sense. for one, he’s not part of the U.A. faculty. for another, All Might trusts him, and he’s been privy to a lot of sensitive information that clearly hasn’t been passed to the villains. so it’s like, if he is a mole, then he’s a pretty bad one.

but. on the other hand:

he may not be part of the faculty, but he is best friends with one of them, and we know that he and All Might regularly share information with each other that’s supposed to be top secret. so it’s not outside the realm of possibility that All Might could have told him where the kids were headed without giving it a second thought, because he trusts him more than just about anyone

we don’t know what his quirk is, IIRC. it could be something that lets him extract information he wouldn’t normally have access to (like mind-reading)

the biggest secrets that he was in on (All Might’s weakened state, and Deku being the One for All heir) are, conveniently enough, things that All for One and Tomura also knew about. and no one questioned it, because of course AFO was the one who injured Toshinori in the first place, and the thing with Deku wasn’t exactly hard to figure out. but still. that’s a really helpful coincidence

there’s just something about his face that’s put me off since day one. I’m not sure what it is, but he’s almost too blandly nice? like it strikes me as the kind of face that could shift into a craaaazy evil expression with ease, and it wouldn’t look at all unnatural

idk, I just wouldn’t be at all surprised if and when this guy turns out to be evil af

2. Present Mic

loooooool oh boy I’m gonna get an earful for this one. okay but look. just hear me out

shock value for days. he’s Aizawa’s old school friend, isn’t he? basically he’s the perfect level of “established enough so as to be a shock without necessarily being whiplash-inducing.” he’s pretty much the only member of the faculty who hits that sweet spot of the audience being familiar with him even though we haven’t actually spent a lot of time with him in the actual series. we all love him, but we haven’t actually seen a lot of him. it’s not like Aizawa where we know he cares about his kids because we’ve seen it with our own eyes. we trust Present Mic because Aizawa trusts him, and because he seems like too much of a goofball to possibly be secretly evil

he’s another one with that type of face that normally seems non-threatening but could probably be twisted into a really menacing expression with surprising ease. it’d probably be really hot too

he is the first one to bring up the possibility of there being a traitor. “but officer, if I really was the murderer why on earth would I have called the police?” obviously to make it seem like you didn’t murder someone you clever fuck. don’t pretend like you’re all innocent

but seriously, it effectively makes him seem like a less likely candidate even though there’s no reason to believe that’s actually the case. very smooth. and I don’t trust it one bit

and last but not least, drum roll please...

1. Hagakure Tooru

yep, so in spite of her cute and cheerful personality, as well as the fact that she was one of the only class A kids injured in the forest lodge attack, Hagakure is actually my prime suspect for the following reasons:

her quirk is perfectly suited to espionage. this pretty much goes without saying

no one actually has any idea what she really looks like. because of her personality, we imagine that she’s cute and sweet and bubbly and innocent, but it would be such a great surprise if her appearance was finally revealed one day and it’s like “oh wow yeah she’s totally evil”

her personality is very much that of a “typical” teenage girl, to such an extent that it could easily be an elaborate cover. like, if you were trying to pose as a U.A. student, you couldn’t ask for a more disarming fake identity than that. basically no one is going to question it

now then, getting to the matter of the lodge attack. it’s true that she was injured, and at first glance would seem to make her being the traitor much less likely, were it not for two things:

the gas was non-lethal with no lasting side effects. assuming she knew this from the start, it would have been a very effective way to clear her from suspicion without putting herself at risk in any way

this makes her one of only two kids in class A (the other being Jirou) who didn’t know about the police raid and Kirishima’s planned Bakugou rescue attempt. meaning she couldn’t warn the League ahead of time. now, we know that the villains were pretty much blindsided by the raid, meaning that if there is a traitor, said traitor either wasn’t able to pass this information along, or chose not to. so ironically, this actually makes Hagakure look a whole lot more suspicious

lastly, we can’t actually verify Hagakure’s whereabouts during the USJ raid. she says she was with Todoroki, but he never actually saw her. that in itself isn’t strange, obviously, but what is strange is that she never said anything to him to let him know that she actually was there. and that does strike me as a little odd, particularly because she could have been caught in the crossfire of his attack if that actually was the case.

so that’s it. these are the people I’m keeping an eye on. if and when one of them turns out to be evil I totally called it. although I still kind of hope there isn’t a traitor though. like, come on U.A. why you gotta be like this

#bnha #boku no hero academia #nezu #tsukauchi naomasa #present mic #yamada hizashi #hagakure tooru #makeste reads bnha #bnha meta #essay #theory post #bnha theory #u.a. traitor #traitor!hagakure #hagakure traitor theory

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franeridart · 7 years ago

Note

Hi! Idk if you read fanfic, but would you happen to have any kiribaku fic recs? Or any bnha fic rec?

I’m pretty sure there’s stuff tagged as fic recs on this blog, yes! Nothing particularly new tho, I haven’t had the time to put down a new rec-list in a while ;-;

Anon said:How long does it take you to finish a drawing with and without color?

That honestly depends on a lot of factors - which tools I’m using, how many characters there are in the drawing/if it’s full body or not, how used to drawing the character I am, how big is the canvas, if I already have a clear idea of what I mean to draw or not, how precise I want to be with lines and stuff.

That Yuuto sketch I posted yesterday took me about 40 minutes I think, and over half of it was spent trying to figure out how I was supposed to draw him since it was the first time I drew him - the tools I used are the ones I use when I want to be fast and don’t care about being sloppy. A small random Kirishima bust properly lined and colored could take me five minutes to sketch and line and as many to color on a good day, cause I’ve drawn him so many times by now I don’t even have to think to draw him. Deku, on the other hand, can take me an hour even just to sketch, I can’t seem to grasp how I’m supposed to draw him at all.

Sorry, it really depends on a lot of things, I can’t give a proper answer to this :(

Anon said:Ive been tryin to find ur art of sero carrying baku for like 20 minutes n i cant find it :(

Are you talking about this one? Or this one? There’s also this one I guess...? And maybe this one lol

Anon said:yoooo, hey man, that cat kiribaku thing ya got going on is some 👌👌👌👌👌

HECK THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Has anyone ever considered Hadmie. Hadou x Camie before?? It just seems like it'd be a cute ship to sail with, tbh. That just might be me tho.

I dunno if anyone has before you, but I can’t say I have, sorry! If I gotta ship Nejire with someone after all it’s gonna be Yuyu haha

Anon said:Hey do you do commissions? I really love your art and I'd love to get a commission from you!! (and also I just wanna know if there's yet another thing that I have to save up for XD)

Not right now, sorry! Maybe after I’m done with the zine things!!

Anon said:*runs around like an excited puppy* DAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVE!!!!!!! :D

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Anon said:AHHH i love your ocs so much also Nico looks so cute and i love learning new things about them

AAAHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY G O D!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:KIRI + PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL = THE BEST THING EVER

I’M GLAD WE AGREE ON THAT

Anon said:your oc's literally kill me!! i already love nico, and i think i speak for everyone when i say that we definitely want more of him and luca!! i don't know if it's just me, but I love when the angry, swearing types fall for someone.

SOB thank you so so much for the kind words about my kids ;^;

Anon said:OH MY GOD LUCA IS BACK!!!! YESSSSSSSS FUCKING KILL ME THIS IS A BLESSED DAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. MORE OF YOUR OC'S!!! (only when you want to share of course, I'm just trying to convey my enthusiasm here. not demanding at all ^^)

I think that might happen soon enough, actually!!!! Thank you so much for the interest in them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Are josh and chris still not dating?

Sadly until I’ll sit down to write their story that specific part of it won’t go anywhere :( Chris gotta deal with a bunch of things before he’ll be ready to put a name to what’s between him and Josh 3 one day I’ll let him work through it !!!

Anon said:I'm so paranoid I'm going to repost one of your post by accident but the thing is is I never even repost anything at all but just because I know you don't want them to be I'm so scared that by accident I'm going to have something screenshotted and forget it's yours and like Ugh😂

Well, my name’s written on all my drawing so I doubt you’ll forget it’s my stuff lol to make sure you’re not reposting anything the author doesn’t want reposted you can always just ask before reposting it, tho~

Anon said:I was just scrolling through your OC stuff and I just. Love them so much. Thank you for the babies ❤

GOD THANK YOU ;O;

Anon said:Okay I've never seen your oc's before and Dave is the cutest green boy I love him

AAAAHHHHHH I’M GLAD!!!!!

Anon said:kamijirou getting together? :3 also if there were ever a scenario where jirou would confess first, what do you think she would be thinking?

I actually have half a thing planned for that :0 gimme a while to get around to drawing it!

Anon said:How do you feel imagine kiri’s parents???

Actually since I’m still hoping one day Hori will give us the official versions I try not to think too much about it! I don’t wanna grow attached just to have to give them up once I’ll have the canon versions haha

Anon said:hey quick innocent question ive been following for a long time and saw a lot of your art do you have a thing for feet

Are you asking because I draw a lot of people barefoot? Feet are just easier and faster to draw than shoes, anon

Anon said:I love how you answer asks all at once. It’s nice to see that you’re getting in bulk appreciation

THANKS I honestly just don’t want my blog to be more asks than art, so I let them pile up before answering - it does mean I make people wait a lot for answers tho orz sorry

Anon said:I LOVE YOUR ART

THANK YOU!!!!

Anon said:You've open a sea of possibilities with red pineapple kirishima. You're a legend :prayeremoji:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn’t call myself that but I’m glad you appreciate him too hahaha

Anon said:i cant help but notice nothings been added to your sero tag in 4 months

That might be because I rarely use single characters tags! Try looking under #bakusquad and #seromina :D

Anon said:Hahaaa hi this is probably really really awkward but I just wanted you to let you know that you're super awesome!! And the fact that your art is something that I can look forward to is absolutely amazing (no pressure tho)!!! So yea, thank you for being cool and creating beautiful art~~ :D ✧✧✧

SOB it’s not awkward at all!!!! thank you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Would you mind adding some more Tokoyami art to your shop? More specifically the pieces where hes hanging out with Kiri, and the Tokoshoji piece :D Im desperate to bury my notebooks in stickers from your shop rn and the bird boy needs more love ❤

AHW I’m sorry anon, but those are definitely too small to be of any use on the shop ;-; if you’re okay with it I could add the last one I posted? I should seriously draw more of him..................

Anon said:That jacket that Kirishima has on...I NEED!

I drew it and that’s still a mood t b h

Anon said:I went so far back in your blog that it kicked me back to the beginning ;-; I was just getting to the D. Greyman stuff too

AW ;-; (..........it’s good tho, the further you go the least worth it my stuff is l m a o)

Anon said:Do you ever draw kiribaku or something else in paper or some kind of sketch book if you do i would love to see them❤(sorry if my english is bad)

I do have some doodles on paper posted on here somewhere? But tbh I rarely draw traditionally anymore unless it’s just random doodles :(

Anon said:Aahhh!!! I really love your kiribaku shit its so cute!!and you draw so goood too literally when i found this ship i instantly found you and you are so perfect in my eyes and your art!!!!! I looooooovvvvvvveeeeee yoooouuuuuu thank you for being here and showing us this stuff!!❤❤❤❤

HECK thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:i adore your art so much and your bakushima comics make me smile a lot! :) you’re one of my favorite artists now dldksjshskdk

tHANK YOU OH MY G OD ;^;

Anon said:Consider this: fantasy Kirishima meeting normal bakugou, thinking that's his Katsuki 😂😂

.........................you literally got no clue how long I’ve been thinkin about drawing this............ he ck

Anon said:Your drawings give me life 😍❤️

sob thank you so so so much ;-;

#fran answers #in other news ive drawn more seros carrying bakugous than i expected #HM #anonymous

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wannawrite · 7 years ago

Text

Crushing On You

Wanna One’s Kang Daniel X Reader

Word count: 3298

• you’re a solo idol [ around Jihoon/Woojin’s age ]

• lowkey gotta ft. SAMUEL AND SOMI I LOVE THEM [ somi pls marry me ]

• also ft. MAUVE. [ WannaWrite Ent’s created gg I formed in my requested Yuehua scenario ]

• Kang Daniel likes you hurh hurh ;)

hello !! [ i need to stop with the !!, ;), hurh hurh ] can i just say how much i love love love idol! au. idk it just really clicks well with me, by far one of my favourite ones to write anyways, tysm for requesting anon i hope you like it :) sorry if it isn’t completely accurate or what you imagined :(

also i haven’t spent a lot of time on my laptop so everything is being uploaded via mobile which is why they all have the ‘to be edited’ thing

- admin L

PS: to be edited [ 10/8/2017 ]

edited: [ 11/8/2017 ]

__________

“Congratulations Y/N! Your album has risen up the charts and is now number three worldwide on iTunes!” Manager unnie announced, embracing you.

Your jaw was still agape in shock, still unable to comprehend what had happened. After two failed chances of debut, your company - WannaWrite Entertainment - expanded their budget and finally, debuted you as a solo artist. CEO L and N might have mortgaged both their houses to fund your promotions but it didn’t seem to affect them. In fact, your CEOs seemed glad your debut was doing well.

It might as well have been a miracle.

You nearly made the final lineup for MAUVE when they debuted but was cut off after you suffered an ankle injury. Your unnies still showered you with their love and support, even telling their fanbase to go support your debut.

“The company has decided to give you two days off while we sort out your new schedule. Go enjoy yourself but don’t do anything stupid.” You rolled your eyes at your manager’s words but assured her you would be fine.

The first thing you did was to search for your MAUVE sisters in the building but found out that they were out of the country to promote in Taiwan. You weren’t super close to some of the new trainees in your company but they didn’t seem very welcoming either. Finally, you settled on calling Samuel and Somi, two of your very close dongsaengs. Surprisingly, both of them weren’t occupied in that moment despite their busy schedules.

“Ahh! Y/N, we must go out and celebrate!” Samuel insisted.

“Y/N! Is it okay if I invite Lee Daehwi? He’s also Samuel’s friend. He’s from Wanna One, he really likes your album,” Somi asked, sugar dripping from her voice and you could almost imagine the batting of her eyelids. Looks like she really wanted Daehwi along……

Wanna One? Isn’t that the boy group CEO L really likes? I should accept this offer.

Giggling, you agreed to meet up with them at a mall nearby all the entertainment companies. Somi was going to treat everyone to lunch.

It had been the longest time you had seen her and nearly cried when she started being all emotional and deep, talking about her debut and then yours. Samuel didn’t have any words and just kept embracing you while congratulating you. At first, Daehwi was rather shy, he hid behind his two friends a lot, blushing, but once all the introductions had been made, you clicked instantly. You two shared a bucket of popcorn at the movies and Daehwi even took multiple polaroids together. You found the younger boy very likeable.

“Y/N, now that you are an idol, would you want to date anyone?” Samuel suddenly asked before returning to sipping on his soda. Somi nodded eagerly, smirking. Daehwi just smiled, running a hand through his hair.

You hated to disappoint but shook your head and waved your hand dismissively. “Not really…but we have to see. You never know who comes along.”

…

Jisung narrowed his eyes at Daehwi when the younger boy entered the house looking more triumphant than ever. “Daewhi-ah, did you do something? What’s up?“

Daewhi shook his head but couldn’t keep the smile off his face. I mean, he spent nearly the entire afternoon out with another idol he really respected and looked up to no doubt that he was more senior in the industry. Not to mention the fact that Daniel hyung has a tremendous crush on her! Ever since her debut he hadn’t shut up about her! I think he even owns a signed copy of her first single, he may have bought it online. “Ohhh, nothing,” he sang, causing more suspicion to rise from his hyungs.

Jaewhan, who was sitting on the kitchen counter, shot him a weird look. “Did you…wait- just tell us what you did,” he pushed. Before Daehwi could reply, a loud yell sounded from upstairs. “Yah! What’s happening up there? Stop fighting!” Sungwoon shouted, revealing more of his ‘aunty’ side. He looked like he was about to jump from his seat on the sofa and start taking out slippers to hit someone. Jisung grabbed his dongsaeng’s arm, pressing a finger to his lips. “Let them come and explain."

Speak of the devil, Woojin and Guanlin came running down the staircase, phones in their hands and muttering some gibberish. They seemed terribly flustered and nearly tackled Daehwi on the ground.

Jaewhan walked over to examine the photo. It was a photo that Samuel had taken of you, Daehwi, himself and Somi out at lunch. Jaewhan swiped right to reveal the next post which happened to be the cute selca you had taken with Samuel.

bravpunxh

fun day out with my best friends. Congratulations on your album Y/N! You’re doing so well even if it isn’t long after your debut….i’m jealous. Continue to work hard, proud of you ❤️ tagged: @leedaehwi, @somijeon, @Y/N

He too, nearly screamed.

"Daehwi was out with Samuel without telling us!"

"Oh my god, is that Somi?”

“I miss Samuel!"

"Wait, did you say Y/N?"

At the mention of your name, Daniel perked up and nearly sprung out from where he had been lying down lazily. He was fully alert now. Jihoon passed him Woojin’s phone which was still on Samuel’s Instagram page. His eyes widened significantly. Firstly, he couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous you were, you were beaming brightly and glowing happily, that made him cheer up a lot more. After that, he frowned when he noticed how comfortable you were with Samuel, kissing his cheek while winking and whatnot. Then, he realised that Daehwi was the one who had rested his head on your shoulder. Daniel gritted his teeth, jaw locked.

"Oh my god, is Daniel hyung jealous?” Jinyoung teased, poking his hyung’s cheek. “Ahh! He is!"

Daehwi patted his shoulder. "Yah, it’s okay hyung. I can introduce you to her.”

Daniel shrugged nonchalantly but on the inside, his heart was going to beat out of his chest and he suppressed the urge to squeal like a fanboy.

Y/N knows of Wanna One! She knows about my existence!

“I wonder if we’ll bump into her at any showcase….since our comeback was pretty close to hers,“ Seongwoo muttered absent-mindedly. That got Daniel’s heart in a mess.

…

CONFIRMED: Y/N to perform at MNET Countdown comeback showcase [ send help I still dk what it’s called ]

The headline were in red, bolded, as if they were a flag to catch Daniel’s attention. The boys were taking a break from practising for their comeback stage and the news had just been confirmed to the world. He clutched his phone to his chest, attempting to regulate his breathing.

Oh my god….what is she doing to me? Is this how my fans feel? Oh my god, I can’t handle this.

Using his hand Daniel began to fan his face, which was heating up rapidly. Before any of his friends could make an odd comment, he excused himself and ran to hide in his workroom. "Ah! Daniel-ah, what happened to you? Why are you getting so worked up over a someone?” He scolded himself in a whisper. He had never become so flustered in his entire life. Perhaps it was the fact that due to all his training, he knew relationships were and huge no-no. Maybe this was the only time where he had a chance, both of you were idols and bound to meet somewhere along the line.

Daniel typed your name into the search bar.

Y/N reveals the boy group with her favourite visuals

Y/N set to release Asia tour dates soon, WannaWrite Entertainment confirms

The rising queen of kpop? Y/N has become a global hit, maintaining top spots on world iTunes chart.

He clicked on the link to the first article.

‘In a recent interview with KBS, 18 year old rising idol Y/N may have let it slip which idols she found attractive. Other than mentioning her love for fans, she didn’t fail to make her adoration for fellow celebrities known. “I really love icons like Big Bang and SHINee, they are real inspirations to me.” She had said…’

Daniel sighed and skipped over that part, he scrolled down more.

'When asked if she was interested in dating, Y/N simply smiled but shook her head, saying that of course there were people she found attractive but wanted to focus on her career rather than dating. However, Y/N did blush at the mention of celebrity crushes, no one can escape the love bug. She listed popular and established boy groups such as BTS and EXO to be incredibly attractive but not to sleep on smaller groups such as Hotshot or KNK. Additionally, she mentioned her incredible amount of respect for them and would like to work together someday.’

Oh my god, just get on with it. Daniel groaned and searched more.

‘Y/N also talked about her other idol friends. She was seen out with Kim Samuel, Jeon Somi and Wanna One’s Lee Daehwi recently to celebrate the success of her album. Y/N was very grateful for all their constant support and thanks her sisters in MAUVE for paving a better way for her. She hinted at a close collaboration between her and Somi then added she would like to befriend all of Wanna One. 'I think they’re all very handsome too,’ she admitted while giggling. 'I love their visuals but they also have a lot of talent that isn’t to be wasted. It’s sad they won’t last very long, I’d like to see them succeed in their short time together as a group.'

Daniel felt something stab at his heart, it was the knife of realisation that he wouldn’t be in Wanna One a few years from now and vowed to make the best of everything. Another thing also speared his delicate heart, you knew about Wanna One, you seemed to like them too. He felt special.

“Yah! Daniel hyung! Are you in here?” Jihoon’s calls accompanied by knocks on the door shattered that feeling. He sighed but went back to practice, his motivation was to impress you on Saturday.

…

The shouts and cheers of the fans were already loud while you were in the car but once you stepped outside, the roars were nearly deafening. Your bodyguard and security paved the way to the entrance.

It was chaotic good.

Camera flashes went off and you pushed your sunglasses higher up the bridge of your nose, forcing a smile on your face even though you almost tripped over your own feet.

Phew. I think this crowd is only a fraction of what MAUVE unnies handle.

The second you stepped through the glass doors of the venue, you were scooped off by assistants to your dressing room. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry but this was no new scene for you. At least this time you had experience, you messed up so many times during your first showcase it was embarrassing. Your manager broke off from you but promised to meet you in your dressing room after she had settled some paperwork. There was no time for a proper reply other than a small nod. The assistant grabbed your arms and whizzed passed other groups of idols with their assistants, looking just as hurried. Along the way, you recognised other group’s name stickers pasted on different dressing rooms. It was fascinating to see the well established groups in the same area as you, honouring almost.

“Erm, hang on a second,” your assistant muttered shyly, tapping on her phone and whispering frantically into her earpiece. At that time, your phone buzzed.

3.47 pm

Daewhi: hello noona !! by any chance are you at the venue now ? :) let’s meet

You: hi daewhi, yes but it’s crowded and everyone’s rushing now…maybe after the show or you can text me when your done with hair and makeup :)

Daehwi: Daniel hyung read that you find us attractive and want to befriend us ;)

You: pshh omg that’s gg to be held against me forever! But yes, it’ll be nice to make friends

Daehwi: Daniel likes you

3.49 pm

Daehwi: i’M SORRY JiSuNG anD SUNGWOON HYUNG TOOK MY PHONE

You: uhhh…okay

Daehwi: but yeah Daniel has had a crush on you since the start, like since your debut

You: omg….i’m blushing that’s so sweet

Daehwi: pls dte danel

Daehwi: that was jisung hyung again sorry !!

You: it’s okay…. You: how abt u introduce us? ;)

Daehwi: omg okay

Suddenly, you felt a tug on your arm and your assistant beckoning you to follow her. “Sorry! There was a mix up with the dressing rooms!"

You slow jogged after your assistant, she rounded the corner faster than you did by abit. Many footsteps and loud chatter seemed to be coming your way so you sped up a little, hoping to catch up with her faster before the crowd came. Unfortunately, you sprung off a second too late and met with something… rather someone’s chest [ cliche! cliche! ]

…

Daniel could die happy. There was nothing else he could ever want. His ( life long ) dream had been fulfilled. He couldn’t care less about the strange looks he received, he just wanted to get down on his knees and thank God for creating such a perfect timing, such a perfect first making. The sheepish smile on his face remained plastered there as the stylist began curling his hair. The incident replayed in his head over and over. You had bumped into his chest and at first he too was shocked but the instinct to protect a person was stronger so his strong arms wrapped around your torso and prevented you from falling. Daniel would never forgot the look on your face when you spotted him, he’d never forget the memory of your entire face blushing pink.

It was so adorable!

Once you had steadied yourself, he had run his hands over yours, repeatedly asking if you were okay. Your reply was barely above a whisper but he still caught it. Daniel recalled the way his name had rolled of your tongue, causing his knees to turn into jelly, he felt his face turn hot even while he was sitting in his makeup chair.

Moving on…..

You had hastily thanked him, bowing slightly before greeting the remainder of the boys, their jaws dropping and some using their hands to suppress their giggles. You wished them good luck before running off after your assistant, wishing you had carried a mask with you to hide your red face. There were shouts and cheers echoing behind you which made you think back to Daehwi… well Jisung and Sungwoon’s confession on Daniel’s behalf.

But he’s Kang Daniel! Kang Daniel! Everyone loves him! He could have anyone as his significant other! Why me? How am I special?

You rid your head of the thoughts that only added more confusion and focussed on the task ahead of you.

Yes, showcase. Comeback stage. That’s all that matters right now.

…

By the time Wanna One was halfway through their stage, Daniel’s heart had turned into mush and his legs were replaced with jelly. He could see you dancing and singing to their song from his spot on the stage, he was glad you decided to watch some other artists while waiting for your turn. Daniel found your smile captivating, it made him grin and feel giddy like a schoolboy in love again. No matter what, he would definitely be watching your performance.

There was no lying that Kang Daniel, the man who had saved you just now, was attractive. You loved how he balanced out his sexy, manly side with his playful and more childish antics. Secretly, you had been observing the group from afar and admired how close they were. A part of you longed for that bond, especially if it was in a girl group but for now, you were happy as a soloist.

"Y/N! It’s almost your performance. Time to suit up,” Manager unnie hissed, grasping your arm and gently tugging you towards the backstage door. As soon as the equipment was placed on properly, stylists swarmed you, retouching your makeup and dusting your clothes.

“Okay, they’re changing the stage set up for the next act. After that, it’s you. Go prepare yourself.” Abiding by the basic rules, you double checked your sound system and downed half a bottle of water. Just as you were midway through your mental preparation, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

It was a cheerful looking Daehwi.

And Daniel.

“Noona! Did you see me? Was our stage good?”Daehwi bombarded you with questions. “Do you like our concept? Our style? Could you hear me singing?”

“Daehwi, you aren’t even giving her time to reply,” Daniel pointed out, chuckling. His gaze met your own but he quickly cast it on the floor.

“Hello, I’m Y/N. You must be Kang Daniel. I’m sorry about just now,” you apologised, giving your sweetest smile.

Daehwi stomped his foot, pouting. “Ahh, I get it. Noona likes older men, now she won’t pay attention to me,” he whined but had his lips curved into a telltale smirk.

Sly dongsaeng.

“That’s right Daehwi. Y/N likes people who can pull off the sexy concept,” you played along, purposely resting an arm on Daniel’s 60cm wide shoulders. His face was slowly but surely turning red.

“Hmph!”Daehwi marched off but turned around and shot you a sly wink.

“So…..” you started, uncertain of how to break it to him. “Daehwi said he’d introduce me to you. Hi."

Ew! That was so dumb! Whatever, keep your chill. You’re an idol.

Daniel just stared at you, shellshocked and entranced by you. Not just your beauty but the way you talked, the way you carried yourself that exuded a confident yet kind and not cocky aura. He was speechless, breath taken away. He was never like this, especially in front of women! You could hear his friends snickering in the back. "Hi, I’m Wanna One’s K-Kang Daniel. Uh, I-I really think you’ll be a great artist. Not that you already aren’t! But I think you will be iconic and I have been supporting you since your debut,” Daniel blurted out, he was so flustered his mind was blank and he couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence.

How cute.

“Aww, that’s very sweet of you. I’d love to chat more but it’s almost my slot…so how about I give you my number. Text me when I come off stage."

He handed you his phone with trembling hands, Daniel couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He let out a shaky breath. "Can you sign my phone case?”

Daniel! That was so stupid! She probably thinks you’re a creep now!

You paused from punching in your number and giggled, agreeing to do so. He quickly passed you a pen and you signed his clear jelly case, adding a tiny heart at the end unlike your normal signature. Feeling bold, you saved your contact as 'Y/N 😘💍’ and passed the phone back to it’s owner. Daniel’s eyes grew large at your contact name but laughed it off. “Have fun on stage! We’ll be cheering for you!” He waved you off, beaming brightly.

You had never felt more energised and confident walking onto that stage and assuming your position. It was refreshing. Somi was waving a banner and Samuel was beside her, screaming. You knew Daewhi and… Daniel were watching, you could feel their gaze. The appreciation and love for your fellow idol friends grew. You adored them to pieces.

Maybe one of them in a more intimate way.

#kang daniel #wanna one scenarios #wanna one #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 #lai guanlin #park jihoon #park woojin #kim jaewhan #ha sungwoon #hwang minhyun #ong seongwoo #bae jinyoung #yoon jisung #lee daewhi

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thelastifntdragonrider · 7 years ago

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HI! I’m putting all of the things i’ve been tagged in from the past couple of weeks that i haven’t answered yet bc i’m working hard on an admission portfolio for university and i really want to get into Sheridan, so yep lots of work and lots of art. i am also working on the HTTYD fandom reading (please sign up) and the next chapters of J’Imagine and No Cannon Shall Sink This Ship. Anyways, onto the tagged:

get to know me meme: tagged by @animalsarepeople2 thank youuuu!

nicknames: Kei / Keiko *i explain this in a question down there somewhere

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Libra

MBTI Type: INFJ

Height: 163cm

Time: 17:07 (by the time I finished all of these it’s 18:36)

Birthday: February 25

Favourite Bands: Beatles, Young Rising Sons, Clean Bandits, Lovelyz, Infinite

Favourite Solo Artists: Ailee, Ed Sheeran

Song Stuck in My Head: 1cm by Lovelyz

Last Movie Watched: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp

Last Show Watched: I just binge watched Stranger Things

When I created my blog: July 15, 2013/June 27, 2017

What I post about: httyd, animated movies, animation

Last thing I Googled: information about Sheridan and character rotation

Other blogs I have: my main blog @tokkeiko

Following: 100, though I want to find more good blogs, any recs anyone?

Followers: in total from both blogs, 200 or something

Favourite colour: Green

Average hours of sleep: 8-ish

Lucky number: 7

Instruments: piano, oboe

What I’m wearing: jeans and my current favourite sweater which is grey with gold spots

Number of blankets: I need to remember to find another one bc my room is freezing when I wake up in the morning

Dream Job: story artist at Disney

Dream trip: i just want to get out of my city rn

Favourite food: i’m just hungry rn, give me anything, but favourite food, among others, is salted caramel truffle blizzard from the good old DQ (#lovemydq)

Music ask, tagged by @yv-sketches THANKS!!!!

10 songs that you are listening to right now;

my current favourite playlist is called Shut Up and Dance:

“Elle Me Dit” Mika

“Red Balloon” Charli XCX

“Dancing in the Dark” Rihanna

“Shut Up and Dance” Walk the Moon

“Red and Gold” Young Rising Sons

“Can’t Stop the Feeling” Justin Timberlake

“Better When I’m Dancing” Meghan Trainor

“I Bet My Life” Imagine Dragons

“Into a Fantasy” Alexander Rybak

“Get Back Up Again” Anna Kendrick

Tag Game, taggged by @thepurplewriter333 ty friend-o!

Nicknames: Keiko/Kei/Spirit/Sweet Potato

Gender: Female

Star Sign; Pisces

Height: 163cm

Sexuality: probably straight

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff!!!

Favourite animals: uhhhh... orcas probably

Average hours spent sleeping: 8 i think, i’m not bothering with math rn

Dogs or cats: KITTY, all of my sibilings have a significant other and all of their significant others’ have cats and why can’t I have a s/o with a cat???

number of blankets sleeping: during the winter, aka now already, two

Dream trip: geeeeetttt meeeee ouuuuttt offf thissss citttyyyyy

Dream job: Story artist at Disney

when I made this account: June 27. 2017

why I made this account: bc i wanted a place to reblog all of the httyd stuff without loosing followers on my other blog

# of followers: like 47, I think? I recently got more. follow me i am cool person

92 statements, tagged by @thepurplewriter333 thanks for the double tag!

Last:

Drink: Tim Hortons’ Double Double (got to stay caffeinatedddddddd)

Phone Call: Home to get a ride home

Text message: Friend to go hang out later

Song You Listened To: Shooting Star by Lovelyz

Time You Cried: uhhhhhhhh... oh, like a month ago, it was a bad week and then I watched Home and my emotions were already out of wack so I basically sobbed near the end

Have you:

Dated someone twice: Nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope, i’m boring

Been cheated on: nope

Lost someone special: nope

Been depressed: i feel like it’s hard to be a university student and not get depressed

Gotten drunk and thrown up: i am a boring party person and yeah, no i haven’t

List 3 favourite colours:

Green

Blue

Gold

In the last year have you:

made new friends: Yeahhhh

fallen out of love: nopppeee...?

Laughed until you cried: like every other day

Found someone was talking about you: in a good way; nope. In a bad way: yeah too many times

found out who your friends are: yeahhhhhh

kissed someone on your FB list: okay someday, i’ll have more interesting answers

General:

how many FB friends do you know IRL: 99% of them

Do you have any pets: nope

Do you want to change your name: i recently thought about dropping my middle name, but like it has significance to my parents so probably won’t happen and my middle name doesn’t do anything so idk

what did you do for your last birthday: Keep in mind that I turned 18: my friends and I went to Build-A-Bear and they got me a Build-A-Bear Toothless.

What time do you wake up: my alarms on early days are 7:00, 7:05, 7:15, 7:25, 7:35, 7:45, 8:00. I naturally wake up at 9-ish

What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping :D

Name something you can’t wait for: to (hopefully) get accepted into Sheridan and start a new adventure out there.

When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s in the kitchen with me

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish that I could’ve figured out what I wanted to do with life so that I could’ve started Sheridan this year

What are you listening to right now: Sheridan portfolio reviews, tips, etc. (Starting to see a pattern here?)

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: friend’s dad. he’s a cool dad.

Something that is getting on your nerves: when people are packing up their stuff before the professor is finished talking in the last 5 minutes of class. URGH stop moving ppl this stuff is important

Most visited website: FB, YT, tumblr

Mole(s): couple

Mark(s): I have freckles (might be moles) on each cheek under both eyes.

Childhood dream: when you’re a kid, you’re really only exposed to teacher, doctor, police man and whatever your parents are. I think I defaulted to an artist when adults asked.

Hair colour: black, I have silver hairs though, they stick out on the black hair a lot

long or short hair: I always grow my hair out and then cut off 12 inches to donate to cancer wigs

Do you have a crush on someone: not currently, though i had a crush on a guy for like 5 years, so even now, 5 years later, I get happy when I think about him

Piercings: no, i really think a conch piercing would be nice though

Blood type: ... A I think, i’ve never gotten tested, but according to genetics, I should be an A

Nicknames: my full name is Keiko, but everyone called me Kei as a kid, but during high school, I started introducing myself as Keiko, so some people call me Kei, some people call me Keiko, one of them is a nickname, depending on which way you think about it,

Relationship Status: Egg salad.

Zodiac: Pisces

Pronouns: She/her

Favourite TV show: Friends

Right or left handed: Right, but recently I’ve been trying to teach myself to draw with my left hand

Surgery: Wisdom teeth

Hair dyed a different colour: nope, but I think I might try a ombre some day

Sports: ballet since I was 4ish, ballet is a sport, come fight me on it if you dare

Vacation: a lot of camping when I was younger, I’ve been to Japan twice, and then places across Canada

Pair of trainers: are we talking about trainers as in shoes? bc then ankle high all black vans.

More General:

Eating: this is taking so long I stopped and had supper between these sections

Drinking: Double Double (Tim’s coffee, two creams, two sugars), gotta stay AWaaaaaaaaaaKE

I’m about to: draw character designs or go out to coffee shop to study with friends

Want: to get into Sheridan so so so so so badly

Get married: I’m still single, want to put my career first, so yep not for a little while

Career: i’m a cake decorator rn, see my cakes on my insta @tanakeiart

Hugs or Kisses: hUG mE

Lips or eyes: Eyes, (though I am supper bad at making eye contact)

Shorter or taller: would be nice to be slightly taller...

Older or younger: like to date or something? I think high school rule is a good rule, but rn looking at niners mAN they are tiny

Nice arms or stomach: arms to hug meeeeee

Sensitive or loud: i think I would need a loud person to compliment me

Hook up or relationship: relationship bc you have a standing plus one to everything and rn being single I have to text like 5 friends to find someone to go with me to something

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

Have you ever:

kissed a stranger: Nope

Drank hard liquor: I only have like four months until my 19th so like i’ll go drinking then

Lost Glasses/contact lenses: funny story: family and i were in Japan and we were at Kinkaku-ji and then i realize that one of my eyes have gone fuzzy, so thinking that there is something on the lens, i take my glasses off and my lens had fallen out of the frame. my family literally crawled around trying to find my lost lens, we did find it, but we couldn’t find a small screw that would hold the lens in. my dad fixed it with a twist tie.

turned someone down: nobody likes me so nobody has asked me so i have never turned someone down

broken someone’s heart: no

had your heart broken: yeah, by a friend. It is shATTERing

been arrested: not even a parking ticket in my name

cried when someone died: no, i am some kind of emotionless egg

fallen for a friend: my heart easily leaps and often trips falls and gets lost

Do you believe in:

yourself: yes, I believe that I can get in, I believe that I can be what I want to be.

Miracles: I believe in karma more than miracles

Love at first sight: yes, but not in the way that media portrays it

Santa claus: nah

Kiss on the first date: this is weirdly phrased.

other:

current best friend name: becky

Eye colour: brown

Favourite movie: the other day i was procrastinating and made an official list of favourite movies, which still has a lot of ties: 1/2: httyd 1/2, 3/4: moana, big hero 6, 5/6/7: wreck it ralph, tangled, rise of the guardians, 8/9/10: back to the future 1-3

wow that took a lot of time, but thanks for tagging me! I’m tagging @thepurplewriter333 @yv-sketches and @animalsarepeople2 on the ones that you didn’t tag me in! also tagging @katlikespie @crazilexa and @fading-shadows for whichever one/s you want to do!

#long post #but i really didn't want to make four seperate posts #replies #keiko talks to thin air

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byul-bit-arae · 7 years ago

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11 Questions Tag

(THIS GOT SO LONG I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL OTL)

So a few days ago I got tagged by the beautiful @ramune-and-rain to do this 11 Questions Tag, so here we go!!

1. Would you rather explore the many planets in the universe or explore the wonderous depths of our oceans. Tbh I love the ocean but bc I'm not the best swimmer out there and also bc I'm kind of so inlove with astronomy I'd rather explore the universe~ 2. Can you describe your favourite colour without saying what it is and it’s shades. idk how am I supposed to do that but, I'd say it's really comfortable, a common choice for clothes, not light but totally not the darkest, some people link it to gloominess or indecisiveness 3. Your bias texts you, mistaking your number for one of their friend’s. Do you talk to them and keep up an act or do you admit the mistake? How do you do it? What happens after? Considering I know it's my bias that is messaging me? Or as in just my crush? Either ways I'd tell them they've got the wrong number, but also make sure not to make them feel embarrassed for the mistake. Try to be as kind as possible and laugh it off, if they keep on messaging me after I'd gladly chat with them but if they don't I wouldn't initiate a conversation, I tend to think of this kind of stuff as bothersome often 4. Describe your favourite feature of one of your best friends without saying what it is. Why? Omg I'm so bad at this ;_; well it's probably the feature you'd want the most in a best friend, and since they have it it makes you really comfortable when you're with them, you don't need to bluff or hide anything, it also makes them the first person to pop in your head whenever something happens. Okay so I believe I can say what it is now that I'll be saying why it's my favorite It's being able to tell them every single thing, even if it's embarrassing or your most top secret. I've literally cried my eyes out during some conversations with Nana. Whenever things get really tough or I'm just feeling uneasy or sad she'd always be there to listen to whatever blahblah I have to say and comfort me and make me feel better about myself I love her so much idk what I'd do without her she's like my personal psychologist (SHOUTOUT TO MY BABY NABI;;;;) 5. What super power would you have and how would you use it? Would you choose the path of a hero or villain? I'd like to fly/float and just get away from all the noise and chaos and fly up to somewhere peaceful and meditate this is like what I want to do every single day. I'd be a villain but not a violent rough one, more like quiet cold one 6. What are 3 things includes in your ideal type? Why? Would you accept someone without these features?

1/ height I'm 170cm and that's considered rather tall where I live so I'm often bothered by that so I'd like someone tall to make me look shorter

2/ beautiful smile One of the things I notice first about someone is their smile *cough my crush cough* I find a mischievous wide smile really charming

3/ spontaneous affection (?) I didn't know what to call this but I just mean someone whom being really gentle and loving is in their nature. Honestly I don't think I'd ever accept someone shorter than me, I can omit the smile thing bc if you like someone, their looks just grow to be perfect to you but height and gentleness are necessities for me 7. Vampires, Werewolves or witches? If you could become one, which would you choose and why? Witches!! Reason is that I'm not into neither vampires not werewolves lol and witches are cool when they cast spells 8. If you released a mini album with 4 songs, what would the song titles be? (I will fight whoever says this is Astro influenced but I gotta say it's an epic coincidence) 01. Pleiades A short dreamy-ish track that's good to listen to at night under the starlight. 02. Summer Vibes *title Actually me and my bffs were playing this game where we pick a word/theme and make a song out of it and I clearly remember the song I created with 'summer'. A happy go lucky song about having fun during summer. 03. Flower Bees are attracted to flowers, but while C is a flower, A isn't a bee, so they keep on unconsciously playing with their feelings. (credits to my bff on this) 04. Midnight Thoughts A slow sad song, where I talk about my worries and insecurities, something like Agust D's The Last. 9. Describe what you feel right now by using a metaphor without including the word to describe how you are feeling. It feels like there is a tsunami a few meters away, heading towards me, and all I got to face it is a small life vest. 10. Your bias from one group confesses to you in front of your bias from another group. They quickly confess their love. Who do you choose? They cannot be your Ult bias. Wow that's a toughie. Let's say, moonbin and hansol(Vernon).. tbh I'd hate making either of them upset, but I think I'd choose hansol??? idk if it's bc I've been a carat longer than an aroha but, through the seven years I spent in this hell of a world called kpop I figured out my type is the one that looks so cool but is actually a clumsy ass weird cinnamon roll (reasons my ult is taehyung lmao) also hansol can speak English and I'm hella comfortable with that, it's not even my first nor second language but I always find myself expressing stuff in eng, plus hansol looks more like someone I can take care of (bc this kid shouldn't be left alone at all costs omg) I believe I read somewhere that bin wants to be the one taking care of his s/o but tbh I like things the other way round im such a mom lmao. I'm not the best at explaining but I'm just trying to say I'd choose mist probably choose hansol.

11. Finally, your bias promises to on a date with you on the condition that you plan it. Plan the entire night. (Where you go, why, what you eat, what you wear, the other places you go, what you talk about, any other details etc).

Oh so it's a "night" date? I'd rather have a daytime one but here we go!! We'd first spend the evening in a carnival-like place?? You know all the cute game booths and the cute Mickey ears headbands and the cute balloons (just so much cute fite me) then we'd have dinner in a somewhat fancy place nearby (leaving all the ears and balloons in the car ofc we tryna be fancey here) then we'd move to a quieter place, like a park or something, where we enjoy the night sky and chat every now and then, and finally and bc i get easily sleepy huhu;;; we go back home and cuddle to sleep :3 My Questions: (Look I'm so bad at asking questions I literally googled half of these) 1. If you were prime minister/ruler if the world,what rules would you make? 2. What would be your super hero name? And how would your outfit look like? 3. How would you describe your ideal wedding? What would your love house look like? 4. You have a two weeks fully paid holiday to one country of your choice, which one would you choose? Why? 5. What's in your bag/purse/school bag? 6. If you could create an ice cream flavor what would it be called? What would it taste like? 7. Would you rather trade your looks for intelligence or your intelligence for looks? 8. Choose one: being a professional patissier, being a talented painter/artist, being a famous fashion designer 9. You meet your bias in your country, they are lost and ask for your help. Do you fangirl? Do you ask for a picture? Do you pretend you don't know them? What do you do? 10. You're making a love song, write down four lines from it 11. What's a plot you'd really like to write but never had motivation for

So bc I'm lonely here and I don't even know 11 tumblrs I'm just going to tag some senpais I follow fml @astrofireworks @artist-aroha @dxnghyuns @kpopangst @earlygreytae

And if you happen to run into this post you're free to answer my questions too if you want!!!

#11 questions tag #tag #ramune-and-rain

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eren-s · 7 years ago

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tag game

Rules:

Always post the rules

Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

Write 11 questions of your own

Tag 11 people

tagged by: the lovely @tatakaeeren thank youuuuu <3

tagging: @yaboylevi and @uttsukushi because i would love to to know your answers to some of these questions and all that but don’t feel pressured to answer this if you don’t want to c: also tagging anyone else who wants to do this

1.- If you could date one anime characters who would it be?

These type of questions always make me think that i love things differently from other people... or something? lol because i never get a crush on the characters i like... i know this isn’t mean to be a serious question and all that, you know but kahjdkhasjdg i won’t date anyone lmao i prefer being by myself even if it gets a bit lonely sometimes

2.- What was your first anime?

Definitely dragon ball, i have many many memories from it from my childhood, my mom still doesn’t like it haha my brother on the other hand loves snk and levi is his favorite, he also watches some other animes from time to time

3.- Fictional character or real people?

Fictional character, i have been there and loved real people (as in idols etc) and it’s draining and tiring and not something i would like to do ever again lol

4.- What’s one of your dreams?

Writing a book, i have had this dream since i was a child and i actually wrote a so called book when i was like 13 haha but it’s a mess so i have it hidden somewhere in my room, i also used to get praises here and there when i wrote poems, etc for school. Tbh idk if i will ever be able to accomplish it because the career i’m majoring in, in college has nothing to do with this type of thing so yeah but maybe some day as for now i still write fics in my free time

5.- Favorite books of all time?

I wish i read more buuuut i will just mention the one i’ve been reading recently which is ‘everyday’ by david levithan, i have yet to finish it, but i love the way it’s written and some of the things the author writes about in the book hit close home for me, i have some favorite quotes as well and i just love the book jasgdjhsagd gotta finish it before this year ends

6.- What’s your dream country to live in?

I like my country but maybe spain, places i would like to visit tho: korea and japan also any other countries in south america because all i know is my own country and i’m curious lol

7.- Isabelle/Levi/Farlan or Armin/Mikasa/Eren?

why... the shiganshina trio because the bonds of friendship between the three of them are lovely, as for the acwnr trio... it makes my heart ache and i can’t watch/read it w/o crying lmao

8.- What’s your otp (only one)? Eren + happiness

9.- Drabble or Fanfic?

Fanfic, although i really admire people who can write short things ajsgdjhasgd haha how do you do that

10.- Your hogwarts housse (if you don’t have any cause you’ve never made the test just answer muggle, or go made it !) -

11.- How many time do you spent on tumblr ?(daily)

…I check it several times through the day but the time i spend on it varies? it depends on wether or not i’m trying to upload gifs or something or if my dash has new content or if i’m talking with someone and stuff like that haha i think i spend more time over at twitter

12.- Your top 3 anime openings?

Sora ga Aozora de Aru Tame ni by Glay

Know know know by Does

Guren no yumiya by Linked Horizon

13.- Quick! you have the power to bring one character back from the dead (with no secondary effects) who would it be?

Carla Jaeger, jsagdhjasgdhjsa Eren has been missing his mom for years, i just- need okay

14.- If you could crossover 2 animes, which ones would they be?

omg gintama x shingeki haha that would be soooo funny to watch

15.- Choose 3 hair colors.Ok. Ready? Now tell me your fav character with that hair color.

pink hair - kominato haruichi

white hair - gintoki

black hair - hijikata

16. Guilty pleasure?? (food, music, movies, etc)

food: like anything sweet, i love sweets... cakes, ice cream, cookies, etc lol

music: maybe those songs that are famous and that you don’t want to openly like but you end up liking them anyway?? haha

17.- Pick two characters to protect you and the rest will kill you [choose from here x]

yo eren and luffy for the first part and then the rest could kill me

18.- In which anime do you think you would fit the best if you were to live in their world?

relife... i have no idea if you have watched it but i am one of those adults (ugh yeah i’m an adult lol) who feels like their life isn’t going in the direction they want it to go and i really love the idea that the author of this manga (which was adapted into the anime last year) offers, it deals with important topics such as: depression, suicide, being unemployed/not being successful at the expected age by society... the consequences it has in your life and stuff like that? i just think i would like to live inside that universe because the characters are really really kind towards each other and they help each other out and there’s the particular relationship between the protagonist named Arata and Yoake which is the person who helps Arata to ‘relife’ his life haha (spoilers maybe if you end up deciding to look this one up) anyway this relationship esp is my favorite, i just LOVE how they support each other

19.- A night out! ..pick 3 characters and tell me: who is buying the drinks, who is the designated driver and who is the one dancing while singing barbie by aqua

hanji is buying the drinks, annie is the designated driver and the one dancing while singing barbie by aqua is definitely sasha

20.- A movie that you can watch a million times and will never bore you? Why?

any animated movie! be it a disney movie, or one from studio ghibli, i... really love animated movies

21.- Do you have a favorite seiyuu(s) which one(s)?

I’m not much of the kind of person who gets enthusiastic over voice actors or any other type of famous person in the industry tbh... not even the authors of the mangas itself because i don’t like getting invested into people but rather i fell in love w/ the characters they create more than anything else so i don’t really have a favorite seiyuu

22.- How would you like Snk to end: everyone dies, a bitter sweet ending, a happy one or an open ending?

Victoria you sure love making these kind of painful questions lol jk but i haven’t really thought about it, being realistic there’s no way there’s gonna be a happy ending at least not a “wholesome” one i think? I would really hate it if everyone died at the end though... at least one of these persons who sacrificed their lives has to live to see a new beginning, or new something start... i don’t care who although my bias would love for it to be eren and all the kids (and the vets) but just someone, you know? As for an open ending it depends... like what if it ends right before eren is about to die... or on some really ambiguous scene? tbh i would like to feel satisfied with the ending more than anything else be it a happy/sad or open one just something that ties everything up nicely... that’s my humble opinion

my questions: ( i will just write 4 or 5 because this is long enough as it is and i’m not a really creative person lol )

- What’s one thing you really like about yourself? - What do you do to cheer yourself up when you are feeling down? - Do you play any instrument? - Are you a cat person or a dog person?

#tag game #pp #this is long and i talk A LOT so if you read this thing till the end thank you in advance #gracias <3

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callioope · 7 years ago

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I was tagged by @theputterer -- thanks!! this is a more writing-oriented tag meme and i love it

+Where do you publish your work? If “publish” means “post” as in fanfic: AO3 under callioope, and sometimes drabbles on here, which you can find under the ‘writing’ tab. I used to post in other places too, but we don’t talk about those fics.

+What medium/application/etc.? For original stuff that requires more note taking and organization: I’ve used a combo of Microsoft Word & OneNote (for writing and notes, respectively), as well as Scrivener. Basically in OneNote I was trying to do what Scrivener does inherently so I did like using Scrivener for that, but sometimes the text formatting options aren’t as good as Word.

For fics, 100% all in Google Docs. Most of those don’t require an extensive note system so Google Docs is fine, plus allows me to write on my phone when commuting. This has been somewhat problematic for Whatever I Do, which probably would have benefited from being more organized but oh well. The Google doc got too long so I had to separate it into multiple docs and all my notes are a complete mess.

Oh, and I do sometimes hand write to help with writers block and then type it up in the applicable location.

OMG and POST ITS. Yes. I will think up dialogue or narration while at work and scribble it down on a post-it and stuff it in my purse. One day I had 7 post-its, I think that was for my Star Wars ASOIAF au.

I have also been known to write on napkins. Honestly basically any surface that I can write on will do. When the muse strikes, you gotta use what you have.

+Do you collaborate with others? When I was younger I did. Actually my first ever fic was with my best friend in third grade, about Jacen and Jaina Solo.

Recently though, not really. But my sister was so helpful in the plotting of The Last Stark and she beta’d for me, so I often say I consider her the co-author.

+How much editing do you do before you publish? Too much, probably. I edit as I write. I edit when I come back later to write the next scene. I sometimes ask the fiancé to look a chapter over for glaring plotholes. Then I do a preliminary round of revisions. Then I do a final round of proofreading. Then I paste it in to AO3 and reread it again, usually find issues, and make corrections, and finally post.

(It might be pertinent to note, I pretty much started my career as a proofreader.)

Occasionally, a fic will flow out and not undergo rigorous editing. This usually happens when I daydream about it for a few days before writing, so it’s planned in my head when I sit down.

+Do you listen to music? All the time except for while writing. It’s too distracting. I will sometimes play the Cassian Andor playlist and do something mindless (cleaning, computer game, etc.) and let my mind plan out a fic, but I cannot write or read while listening to music.

+How do you decide what to write about? Original stuff: most of my ideas are inspired by bizarre dreams I have and are based on genres I like. Fic just pop into my head, usually with one particular scene or line that bothers me until I sit down and write it. When I was reading the Rogue One novelization I also drew a lot of inspiration from that.

E.g.: Whatever I Do was inspired by a line in the novelization from when Jyn first arrives at the base on Yavin 4. I read this and knew I had to write about Lyra in the temple.

Jyn recalled her mother’s love of history with the faintest of pangs and banished the memory.

+When do you write? At night between 9-11, any free time I have on the weekends, and if I am *very* motivated and inspired, I will write on my commute. This sounds like I am writing more than I am. More often than not, I open the doc to write, stare at the screen blankly, then come on tumblr. Motivation is difficult sometimes.

+How often do you write? I mean, see above answer. I write whenever I have time and whenever I’m inspired. Before I started writing fic, I often went months without writing, then spent a month writing during every free moment. I’ve been more productive this year, but it’s all been fic, not original stuff.

+Do you take requests? Hmm. Objectively I am open to it. My only hesitation would be I have so many other projects going on that I’d be worried about responding in a timely manner and I wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone. I guess I’d be willing to give it a shot, if requests came in.

+Is there a genre or type of story you want to write but are hesitant to? hmm not really. I’ve started projects in all my favorite genres (fantasy, sci-fi, pirate/adventure). Oh, maybe smut? I don’t have a strong desire to write it, but I’ve tried a couple times and just gave up. It feels weird to write, idk, too personal.

+Any inspirational quotes, videos, tricks, articles, etc that help you stay motivated? “Perfect is the enemy of good enough.” This is what my dad likes to tell me because I am a perfectionist. I get hung up on little things and don’t move forward.

+Go to page 7 of your WIP, skip to the 7th line, and share 7 sentences: A little more than 7 sentences just because (fun fact! this was from one of my deleted scenes I plundered when I had writer’s block):

“Yes—sure—all those things!” It bursts out of her. So like her daughter. She’ll grip what burns, a grenade, an overheated blaster, a scorching baton that blisters under the sun, but she won’t touch what’s soft. She’ll leave it to collect in the corner, rags and shreds of her heart, just so she doesn’t have to feel. “Where he comes from matters. Who his parents are matters. When and how and why he joined the rebellion—it all matters, those things all matter to me, they made me who I am and—and…”

Lyra reaches out and places her hand on Jyn’s shoulder. “And what do you know about him?”

“I…” Her brow furrows and she looks away. But Lyra can see her eyes soften, that in her head, her daughter sees a string of moments she’s shared with him, she sees the reasons she already loves Cassian Andor.

Tagging: @lustfulpasiphae, @rxbxlcaptain, @jeeno2 & anyone who sees this and writes

#tag meme #my writing

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almaasi · 8 years ago

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you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

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