#ALSO idk if tags even show up under readmores?

[fandom-hoarder]

Ok, so I got an ask for mutual aid. Of course, it's human to want to help someone in need, even if all you can do is reblog their post. But you also don't want to be scammed, or help spread a scam. So you look for clues, or you only reblog your mutuals' aid posts because you at least know they're *real*, or you don't reblog aid posts at all.

So, what are the tells? (I'm not an expert, this is just what I've learned through osmosis.)

Do they follow/interact with you, outside of the mutual aid request?

Is their username weirdly generic?

Does the blog look like a real tumblr user, and not just someone who made a tumblr to ask for aid? How old is it? Is it involved in any fandoms? Does it seem staged?

Does their aid ask and needs description make sense? Is it overly vague, or bogged down with unneeded details?

If you quote-search the body of their aid ask, do you get any similar hits for scams on other sites or under other names?

Does the account for donations look legit?

What do you find when you reverse image search?

So, having received an ask that sounded very much like someone whose mutual aid I would want to support if they're real, but already having two red flags from the jump (not following me and not in my notifications, weird wording and grammar on ask), I endeavored to suss them out.

Screencaps of my adventure under the cut.

Like someone else has said, please don't go harrass this blog. Even if it's a scam, at some point there's a person behind that screen.

So here's the ask.

Red flags: they don't follow me, I don't know them, the ask is long, the grammar and punctuation are bad, word choices are odd or misspelled. These don't mean it's automatically fake, but it looks more like a weird AI than someone using google translate to communicate in English.

So I check their blog.

Their pinned post is this (click to read, it's a longass pic):

I don't take any links yet.

I take a block of their post and check it in google; all I get are snapshots of tumblr reblogs for their aid post. I click the "buy me a coffee" link, and it looks...idk, fine I guess. There's a tumblr logo, but clicking it seems to do nothing. (I'm on mobile)

A quick search of their name on tumblr gives me 2 posts mentioning them spamming this same message to people.

I read the one with the readmore linked here

After reading wannursyafiqah74's post about it, I got on my laptop and went back to casualdonutfire.

Mostly random reblogs; cats and other random reblogs of mostly pics, many with comments that could've/should've been tags, and no actual tags whatsoever. Like set dressing that says, "See? I'm a real person! I'm leaving comments about my reblogs that show I'm not a bot! I interact! I know what I'm I'm reblogging!"

It gives me a creepy vibe. I try google again to see if I can find their presence elsewhere on tumblr. The returns are still all snapshots of their mutual aid post. I open their archive. Ok, their tumblr has archive on...?

There are no fandom-esque posts until the very first reblog, a comment on One Piece fanart on October 18, 2023.

Their first post about needing aid was on November 7, 2023. Nearly the same wording as their pinned post, except they don't mention having a child. Zero specifics on what amount is needed for what or a timeline or anything. Not even anything about Christmas coming up. Tagged generously for trans surgery and other visibility words.

Oh. AND. The buymeacoffee is different. Adela, not Adella.

Then their next post for aid is fresh on January 11, 2024; nearly the same wording, except now there's a daughter and a birthday -- no date for the birthday, though, is there?!

[reblog linked here] If you go to their January 12th reblog and click on the "video proof," it's an audio-only black screen upload to imgur, with no identifying info for what's going on other than what they describe (and it doesn't really sound like what they describe; it sounds like a kid ready for christmas but not disappointed, like idk what more you're supposed to get out of it)

Then I clicked on their buymeacoffee link and noticed something. When I hovered my mouse over the tumblr symbol under their blurb, the link embedded there showed up at the bottom of my screen. And it was NOT casualdonutfire.

It was deepeagletimetravel. And, of course, it's a nuked tumblr. Hence doing NOTHING for me on mobile.

So I went to google again!

And lo, what do I find in those lurking reblogs?

ANOTHER MUTUAL AID POST IN EVERYONE'S REBLOGS. WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSONA AND STORY. BUT THE SAME WALL OF TEXT + BAD PUNCTUATION STYLE

Using a stock photo for their initial "bio" that seems awfully misleading when you don't say it's a stock photo.

And with stolen/uncredited art by thetransformistress as a thank you.

And, of course, the buymeacoffee page it linked for Ameera (buymeacoffee.com/AmeeradelzC) is blank. 👀 Totallynormal, nothing to see here.

But this makes me think. I go back to that Nov 7 casualdonutfire post, with their first buymeacoffee link to "Adela" (buymeacoffee.com/adelladomil)--

and what do ya know, the tumblr that opens is casualdonutfire!

So did they forget they made an adela account, and change their ameera buymeacoffee account to adella for their new post, forgetting to change the deepeagletimetravel tumblr name?! 🤷‍♀️

[murachinchi]

I know what your OTP is but do you have any thoughts on the Gyokko x Hantengu ship that came out of Kimetsu Gauken?

hahahaaaha :)

imma put this under readmore in case this post showed up on their tag..

(spoiler i dont like him 😔)

and ill be using emojis when referring Gyo just in case

the ship has been around even before the anime and ive never like it?? even before im into hantan i just dont like it.. not because of the ship it self i just dont like🏺as a whole 😭😭😭 idk he's just annoying to see 😭😭 so i tried to just ignore their existence..

but recently someone fixed my hantan art on twitter and changed it to 🏺👺 and idk i just loathe the ship now. im all good if u wanna talk shit abot my crackship but like dont take my art and "fix" it??? just make a new 🏺👺 art. i tried to not bash ppl's ship except with a close friend so this will be the only post i talk about it openly. except hating on🏺 😈😈😈 jk

as for 🏺 i tried to add him in some of my AUs so i don't hate him so much.. he's pretty important in my HanTan swap AU. beside being Han's swordsmith he is Han's only close friend but i dont plan on putting any romantic stuff between them.. ever..

also i need someone to make Tan jealous 😈😈😈😈 im sorry am weak for jealous trope 😔😔 and thinking about demon Tan being jealous is 🥺🥺🥺🥺 also its a funny scenario when 🏺 found out Tan used to be jealous of him and 🏺's like "lmao keep ur ugly ass oldman i dont want him"

[another-corpo-rat]

✨️TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OCS✨️

Template by @vincentmatthews | Find it here!

I am. quite proficient at rambling, so I'm putting this under a readmore as to not clog the tags

.

Name Victoria Elizabeth Delilah Crane

Nicknames Blondie, Queen Victoria (both are ill-advised)

Age 42 (in 2077)

Pronouns She/Her

Sexuality Bisexual

Hair Color and style Blonde, typically worn in a bun.

Eye Color Gold (optical implants)

Height 5’11 without heels (is never seen in public without heels)

Body Type Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry- (Idk how to describe her body so here’s her ref instead)

Personality There’s a particular type of cruelty that tends to shine in the corpo offices; the one with a sweet smile and sharp eyes that spot a struggling co-worker from across the room, the sort that promptly step on them to climb that little bit higher – Victoria Crane belongs among that ilk, she climbed high off her mother’s shoulders and then higher still off the backs of those she was kicking down.

She has a ruthlessness hidden under a thin veneer of niceties, and with no shortage of pride since she’s good at what she does.

Tattoos None

Piercings Lobe piercings, only wears earrings on nights out.

Any definable features such as: Birthmarks, Scars, Freckles, Beauty Marks, Accent when they talk, Lisp, Natural slurring of words, Walk with a subtle limp, ect. VERY in-your-face cybernetics, including her gold arms and neck, but also smaller features on her cheeks. Her accent is also distinct in Night City (she was raised in England; I have no idea where specifically yet – but she definitely has an upper-class way of speaking.)

Hobbies She commits crimes against humanity in her free time Usually messing around with quickhacks, modifying them to suit her needs if not theory-crafting new ones with the input of other netrunners on forums. In truth, she struggles to have a hobby that’s not tied to her work in some way; even her reading materials are non-fiction research about brain functions and the like. At most, the biggest disconnect between them is her penchant for anything about maritime disasters.  

Someone get this woman a romance book goddamn

Gang/Occupation {Mox, Max Tac, etc} Arasaka netrunner (working under Smasher, currently)

Do they smoke? Yes

Do they drink? Is so, what's their poison of choice? Also yes – as long as something doesn’t have tequila in it she’ll likely finish the glass. If ordering for herself, she defaults to a mojito.

What do they usually wear on a normal day? Usually a suit of some kind, her entire wardrobe is full of them. If someone tells her to ‘dress casual’ she’d look at them as if they have two heads. Her idea of casual is still ‘dressy’ by most people’s standards.

What do they wear when they "Get dressed up"? And what would be considered a "special occasion" to them {such as an "Oh they're gonna be there so I have to look my best." Or an "It's our anniversary".} Getting ‘dressed up’ for corpos is sort of a way to show off, peacocks the lot of them. Victoria included. She favours dresses for those sorta things, low neckline, high slit up one of the legs – gotta highlight the assets, y’know? Normally the dress is a simple enough piece so she can put sparkle on in other ways.

As for what she’d consider a special occasion to get particularly fancy; she honestly doesn’t need one. She dresses for herself tbh.

What do they smell like? {For example: they smell like cinnamon flavored liquor, cigarettes, leather, and motor oil.} There’s the constant vague lingering of caramel smoke around her, courtesy of the smoking habit. As well as that, her favoured perfume smells like daffodils.

How do they walk? Do they sway their hips? Do they walk with a sense of determination? Do they bounce as they walk? Etc. She has that murder strut; shoulders down, chin up, glaring at anyone who steps in her path.

Are they more of an early bird or a night owl? Definitely more of a night owl; she’s far happier to stay up to ungodly hours and doesn’t mind getting to watch the sunrise when she’s already up anyways. Comparatively, waking her up early is like poking a bear. Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her. Don’t acknowledge her existence until at least 8am, please and thank you.

If you had to use one word to define them, what word would you use? Awful

What words or catchphrases do they say that's unique to that character? Not certain if it counts, but she’s likely the only person who has been able to call Adam Smasher ‘Tin man’ to his face more than once.

Favorite Season Summer

Favorite type of weather {Thunderstorms, sunny, etc} Sunny, just the type of day she can sit out by the pool and soak in the heat.

Do they have someone they're with relationship-wise? If so, who? Incredibly self-indulgent but I have put her in a relationship with Adam Smasher. Theirs is not a healthy romance, but it’s sure af is a fun one to write.

Main Ship/Pairings Victoria/Adam Smasher

Side Pairings None at the moment!

Favorite/Self-indulgent Pairings The main ship is def both of these things tbh

How do they show affection to their loved one? Gifts, gifts, and more gifts, with the occasional peck on the cheek. The more she loves someone, the more thoughtful their gifts will be – stuff they mentioned needing or wanting even offhandedly is stored away for her to spoil them with later.

How do they sit in a chair? She sits favouring the right side, elbow propped up against the armrest, chin resting on her own knuckles, with her knees pressed together if her legs aren’t crossed.

How do they sit in a chair {uncomfortable version} When she’s engrossed in processing info she pulled from the net, she props herself up on a chair like a damn gargoyle, squatting with her back curled as she hunches over a screen. (She tends to do this in the dark too – so please imagine opening the door into a dark af room and seeing a hunched shape poorly lit by a dimmed computer screen. If you make the slightest noise her head just snaps in your direction, her eyes glowing as she stares. Unblinking even as you slowly back out and close the door behind you.)

What do they wear to bed? A satin slip night dress. Because she has to be fancy even when she’s bouta sleep I stg-

How do they usually sleep? {Side sleeper, back, fetal position, backwards, nest sleeper, blanket mountain, etc} She falls asleep curled up on her side, tucked into herself. She tosses throughout the night (RIP to anyone resting beside her you WILL get kicked or smacked across the face) but will wake up in the same curled up position she fell asleep in.

How do they sleep in a place they don't know? {Can't due to anxiety, in small bursts of sleep that are short lived, holding themselves, etc} It might take her a little longer than usual to fall asleep but generally she has no trouble sleeping in places unfamiliar to her. Her rest would be more readily disturbed if the mattress isn’t soft enough or if the pillows aren’t the right height.

Do they have to have a form of "white noise" in order to sleep? {The sound of a fan, the sound of rain, the sound of a city, etc} Not at all, so long as she’s not cold she can sleep fine.

What's a place they go to feel comfortable, that's their "spot" they always go when they're upset? The Ebunike. Usually she’ll plop herself on the shitty little settee that’s up behind the ship’s bridge / opposite Smasher’s secret office and smoke. It’s far enough from the Arasaka offices and things that tend to wind her up that she can just let herself settle.

What do they do when they're nervous? {Fidget with jewelry, pick at nails, bite nails/lips, play with knife/zippo lighter, etc} She’ll put pressure on her lips somehow. Usually this takes the form of just simply biting/chewing the bottom, but occasionally she’ll press her knuckles against her lips – both for the pressure and to hide an anxiety that might come through in her expression.

What is their "tell" for lying? While she is scarily good at faking sincerity and keeping it going for quite a long time, she does have this little smile when someone accepts a lie she’s fed them – if she’s particularly proud, there’s an added little glint in her eye that observant folks can pick up.

What is their favorite color? Despite being decked out in gold implants, she actually really likes pink. But she’ll be damned if she gives Smasher the chance to add ‘Barbie’ to his list of nicknames for her.

Favorite flower/plant Stargazer lilies, even if she can’t keep them in her home anymore courtesy of Nibbles.

Favorite sweet of choice She will kill for strawberry liquorice

Do they have any pets? If so, tell me about them She has a naked little fiend running amok in her home. Nibbles (full name Peaches Nibbles Crane) – who she loves and loathes in equal measure (“Of all the things, you had to choose lilies to be harmful to you?”) In truth, much as she gripes and claims that Nibbles is an ugly little thing that’d be dead without her, Nibbles has very much become a source of comfort that Victoria doesn’t think she could live without – and yes, she is looking into ways to extend the kitty’s natural life. She spoils her rotten.

What are their triggers {If they have any}? If so, what calms them down? The continuous sound of crunching bone triggers a panic response in her – black at the edges of her vision, brain feels fuzzy sort of thing. She hasn’t found a fool-proof way to settle herself after, but she knows for certain what DOESN’T calm her down (someone trying to physically comfort her through touch, especially rubbing her arms is a BIG no-no.) Usually she finds a corner outside to smoke, and she makes an effort to find the loudest space she can; the quiet doesn’t help.

If they could visit anywhere in the world, where would they go and why? (I need to preface that this is ENTIRELY headcanon/I have done no research into the lore for if something like this exists but-) There’s this exclusive hotel off the coast of Crete that is entirely underwater. It’s built in a way that its ‘grounds’ allow guests to walk close to ancient ruins and a few shipwrecks (one of which is actually quite a new addition; a submarine that sank a few years prior, and despite its proximity to the hotel rescue efforts didn’t get there in time to save the crew and their bodies were never recovered. It was initially going to be removed as it was considered an eyesore, but guests asked if their premises would be expanded to reach that wreckage instead.)

Victoria was there before the submarine sank, and she’d love to get there again. Especially since she’s heard rumours of the campaign to recover the bodies finally, she wants to see that.

What is their favorite comfort meal? Hot toffee pudding

Do they have a food they hate? Pork. She has never had it prepared in a way she’s liked, so she just avoids it entirely.

What is their favorite {non-alcoholic} drink? Caramel Frappuccino

What are their plans for the future {if they have any}? Her plans for the future are up in the air at the moment; she’s learned to stop trying to plan her life around Smasher who is a tremendously large influence considering he’s both her input and who she works for directly.

(Things are further complicated when she nearly dies and is put into a Gemini conversion frame. Her contractual obligations to Arasaka just got a few more decades added to it, so there goes the early retirement she’d been saving for.)

What's a song that "fits" them? Angel of Small Death & The Codeine Scene - Hozier

Give me 5 facts/random bits of information about them > She was a designer baby! Her father’s side of the family had some medical issues that her mother didn’t want her inheriting, and while she was at that genome editing appointment Marion also made some other changes – for example, neither of Victoria’s parents are blonde but she wanted a blonde daughter so she got one.

> Hoards information like a dragon does gold, she’s modified her Kiroshi optics to sync with her own database so she can have an individual’s name, likes, dislikes, and any spec of blackmail she has on them ready at a glance.

> Mildly obsessed with maritime disasters. While she has a load of information saved in databases, she doesn’t need to access them to talk at length about even the most obscure shipwrecks. Her ‘comfort’ media is actually an old documentary about the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror and the hunt for their wrecks. (Yes, I am working my own hyper-fixations into her interests.)

>Tying into the prior point; Victoria’s favourite piece of art is The Raft of the Medusa by Théodore Géricault. She is seething at the fact that the original was purchased and is likely in someone’s room in the Crystal Palace. (Never mind the fact that she owns the original of Landseer’s Man Proposes, God Disposes.)

> She has a Midnight Lady implant but doesn’t have any of their extra accessories at the moment – none of them really appeal to her.

Give me their backstory {can be long, or brief.} I haven’t thought her backstory entirely through yet, so here’s a rough timeline of events I have so far for her (incredibly loose and undetailed lol) 2035, born in Night City. Her mother takes her to England at six months old. 2051, started an internship in Arasaka’s European branch at sixteen years old. Her notably high scores in netrunning meant she was basically told that’s what she was doing – initially, Victoria had wanted to get her foot into the PR department but she wasn’t going to argue. Internship continued until- 2053, graduated from Arasaka’s private academy at eighteen and starts a counter-intel apprenticeship. 2056, apprenticeship completes and she goes into full-time employment in counter-intel. 2058, transferred to the American branch and sent to Night City. 2064, officially meets Adam Smasher for an op Two weeks after that op is officially marked as a success, she’s transferred to work directly for him. Sometime after 2077 > almost killed, becomes a ‘borg herself. (Gemini frame)

Free Space! Give me any sort of extra information about them you'd like to share Some development information! Victoria used to be very fucking different when I first made her; she was a street-kid, had purple hair and piercings, I dressed her entirely different and she was a rude lil shit but something about that didn’t vibe with me – I couldn’t think of a story for her beyond what the game was offering. So, I made some changes.

First was starting a corpo file for her, which felt much better. Her hair changed from purple to the pink-blonde combo, and story-wise I was thinking that when she was tossed from Arasaka, she became an information broker, had her own little crew surrounding her. Which is an idea I still like but it didn’t feel right for her.

So, kept at the corpo file – played along, and slowly just pieced Victoria together in a way that I felt fit her. Someone who stays with Arasaka, awful but has the means to protect herself from any feathers she ruffles.

She’s still a work in progress, like I need to sit and think through how the events play out with her, since she’s technically a V who went off-script well before the events of the game. But I much prefer her now compared to as she was.

[aranarumei]

hi kiri I intend to make you type so many words. for our ask game I’m starting with xicheng because I have my share of opinions

ask me about a ship and I'll give my opinions + classify them as does / doesn't make sense, does / doesn't compel me oh boy. my askbox has never been this full you guys…! really fun all of you tho. some I’ve got thoughts on some I haven’t really considered etc. and very impressively: no dupes!

also. words have been written. to the point that I’m putting this under a readmore lmao. up top apology for the incoherence i do just ramble

sooo xicheng. until recently I did not know the ao3 stats for this ship were. that big? don't feel like dangling the classification like bait so I'll start by saying: doesn’t make sense, doesn't compel me. now I will take way too many words to explain exactly why I feel that way!

as a person I am first and foremost a jiang cheng x happiness shipper. kind of. I never want it to be easy for him. because I’m kind of a bastard. so I've actually read a bit of fic with jc in a few different ships, some of which have been xicheng. and there's like, a few of those fics that have portrayed as aspect of jiang cheng like... so sensitively and in a way that made me Feel Things. so I'll always love them for that. my issue is that I just feel like... in the case of these, lan xichen could often be anyone for me. i read mdzs like... pre-untamed, and lan xichen's like... idk. I liked his role in the story but he didn't super compel me? so some of my issues with xicheng stem from the fact that I've simply never thought about lan xichen that much, and I'm not really invested in exploring his character. I think they could have some compelling things because they have a variety of things on their ends that don't get fully resolved, by pure virtue of 1) existing in mdzs 2) being side characters. also if jiang cheng's visiting gusu lan it puts him in proximity of wei wuxian which does promise for interesting interactions. what sours me on xicheng is... like I've said, I think some fics can make it work enough for me. but I feel like a large motivator of the fic is just... "oh look, wei wuxian's got a brother, and so does lan wangji! let's ship them!" even though they're totally different people? and as a consequence these two tend to get sanded down into often reductive portrayals. lot of pair the spares energy.

also kind of on the subject... I think I just don't really like.... ships with jiang cheng? in general? well my tolerance actually varies but I think especially when they take place post-canon (which the xicheng I've read often does) it doesn't sit right with me. I think it’s because jiang cheng’s not in… dire straits post-canon, but he’s not really happy. like he got told about the golden core thing but he’s unable to say the thing back about why he ran off like that in the first place. and I don’t like post-canon ships where it’s like. oh… jiang cheng, you poor thing. you shall be fixed by love. so I think I’m softer on ships that deal with things that happen before everything goes to shit for this reason. like I’ve not watched a lot of the show, but him and wen qing could be fun especially since that makes the golden core thing way more fucked up. with sangcheng they were like. friends in canon and stuff and then it seems they’ve gotten more distant. with zhancheng I mean like. there’s that tension and those years where wei wuxian wasn’t around and they were carrying their separate griefs. but with xicheng I feel like they don’t have anything super interesting in canon, which makes their outsized popularity a bit startling to me.

this is like. deeply personal and is kind of petty but. as someone who has wandered into the jiang cheng tags a couple times. man. people really hate that guy. and also hate people who like him. at least the couple times I looked there was just a lot of stuff arguing about like. oh jiang cheng sucks actually he’s the worst and all his fans are delusional for liking him and they’re ignoring his Crimes. he’s a uniquely selfish character who is unable to express or feel love. I’m not saying this is everyone, it’s just… the vibe I got from quite a few posts. this was also years ago. maybe things are calmer. I’m definitely biased because jiang cheng has always been my favorite character, so of course I love him. but this isn’t a defense post of him. either you like him or you don’t. just don’t bother me. anyways, the thing about “love” has always stuck with me, because I think that jiang cheng so obviously expresses love. like… the entire way he feels about wei wuxian! that’s his brother! idk. if you can’t see that you’ve lost me. now do I think jiang cheng communicates any of his feelings well ever No.

but about the love thing. when I read romantic fics involving jiang cheng post-canon, intentionally or not, a lot of what I read had this angle of almost like… look how capable of love jiang cheng is. and I’m like. well jiang cheng already loves people. it may not have gone perfectly or been so beautiful but that doesn’t make it non-existent. if he loves selfishly or awkwardly or without communicating it, it doesn’t mean that the love doesn’t exist. I think I’m stumbling into incoherence here… but my favorite headcanon for jiang cheng is probably one where he’s aromantic and asexual, because to me it affirms this feeling of like. romantic love is not some kind of absolution. and the “love” that he feels isn’t any lesser than whatever romance is going around. many different ways to be aroace ofc but this is how I see it for him. a lot of this is probably also influenced by the fact that I’m writing a fic with aroace jiang cheng at this present moment haha. as you might imagine, having this headcanon means that I tend to be neutral on most jiang cheng ships! I think to really grab me you’d have to make it interesting on the other end, so the character’s not just a sounding board for jiang cheng’s issues and vice versa, which sort of sums up my problems with xicheng. even the xicheng fics I read and liked were like… great, I’m glad you’re treating these two like real characters and not wangxian to the left. however a lot of this fic is just like. wow jiang cheng / lan xichen you’ve had it hard. Here’s a character who will comfort you and support you. and that’s nice in a way, but not compelling as a ship, yknow? so that’s the sum up of my thoughts. I’m on the scale of neutral-dislike, but if there’s a particularly good portrayal of jiang cheng I’d probably read it.

[princessmo]

why, buzzdriessen, of course, for the otp questions. All of them

THANK YOUUU SO MUCH SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

um i'm gonna end up putting most of this under a readmore bc i typed up 5 pages worth of response in google docs

What is each member’s love language? 

ngl i’m not a huge love languages guy but van d’s is verbal expressions of love with a dash of physical touch (“i love you i love you i love you” while being all clingy) and buzzcut’s is just. being soft with van driessen while being hostile or at best apathetic toward everyone else. his love language is love

What would they describe as their perfect date?

bradley’s is doing one-armed pushups for an hour while dave sits on his back reading a magazine and fawning over how strong he is. david’s is them going camping, doing edibles and stargazing 

Who made the first move?

buzzcut! van driessen waited sooooo long...he didn’t want to ruin their work relationship and he’s the most patient guy in the world so he just suffered in silence until buzzcut finally asked him out. i like thinking that they both had feelings for each other but were oblivious to the other’s feelings and the students had a bet as to when something would Finally happen

Who is more sentimental?

daviddddd. but bradley’s more sentimental than he lets on

Which member calls the other in to kill the spiders?

generally dave will take the spiders outside if he’s alone, he’s not really bothered by them, but if they’re in the same room together brad will take them out. the exception is shit with too many legs like centipedes, dave will fucking shriek until brad kills them

Who falls asleep first?

most of the time, van d. buzzcut’s always like “dave, if you fall asleep on the couch i’m NOT carrying you to bed this time”...and then he does anyway cuz he’s a big softie >:)

Who wakes up first?

most of the time, buzzcut. military habits die hard. occasionally van d will wake up earlier and make breakfast in bed for them :) 

Who is more relaxed/carefree?

i mean...van driessen, obvs. buzzcut is ready to kill anyone who looks at either of them the wrong way

What’s one way their personalities complement one another? (Is it opposites attract or are they pretty similar?) 

well. not to state the obvious but they’re incredibly opposites attract

Who is always cold?

omg i hc that david’s always warm, he’s like a little radiator, and bradley’s always cold

Which member is always trying to bring home stray animals and which member always has to say no?

van d is ALWAYS bringing home stray critters and nursing them back to health. buzzcut thinks it’s cute to an extent; at some point he’s like “puddin’ i love you but if you keep this up you WILL get rabies”

Who worries more?

they both do in their own ways, but i think bradley worries just a little bit more since dave’s been through SO much on the show. dave’s more vocal about it, though, he’s like “do you have your coat? scarf? gloves? wallet? keys? is your phone charged?”. brad’s more like “i don’t think [XYZ] is a good idea” and if he’s really worried he insists on tagging along with dave

What are some non-sexual activities they do together? 

they spend a LOT of time cuddling on the couch watching pbs. they also like camping, david for all the cool nature stuff and bradley cuz he gets to go fishing. he’s a fishing guy. they also like. idk what the adult phrase is but parallel play. david reads while bradley whittles, imo he’d be into woodcarving. they just enjoy the silence and each other’s company

Who would be able to talk their way out of a speeding ticket? 

buzzcut wouldn’t even have to talk; he’d just make eye contact with the cop and they’d let him go. van driessen doesn’t really speed but he’s so genuinely apologetic about jeopardizing other drivers they also just let him go

Who is the better cook?

bradley. david is competent but bradley is better and he likes it more, so he does the majority of the cooking

What are some things they don’t agree on?

BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD. buzzcut kind of admires van driessen’s patience for them but he also dislikes his lenience and thinks it enables them; and after they start dating he reeeeally hates how they walk all over the one person who gives a shit about them and how dave just lets himself be treated that way. david, of course, thinks he’s being way too hard on them, they’re neglected 15 year olds who shower once a month and live on nachos

Which member is more physically affectionate?

they’re both pretty physically affectionate, bradley’s always got an arm wrapped around david and david’s always holding onto him. when they lie on the couch together dave’s usually leaning on brad’s chest or resting his head in brad’s lap

Which member is more verbally affectionate?

lmao i gave it away earlier but van d. constant “i love you”s; but buzzcut has so, so many sappy pet names for van driessen...puddin’ is my favorite cause it’s so cheesy and honestly kinda ooc but others include prettyboy, little pansy (both originally used derogatorily but now they’re terms of endearment), babygirl, little dove...i have more but i’m getting embarrassed just saying these ones

How does each member feel about PDA?

van driessen likes light PDA, holding hands, a little kiss on the cheek, etc. buzzcut pretends to dislike PDA and he rarely initiates it but will definitely escalate it. if van d gives him a kiss buzzcut is ready to full-on make out in the middle of chili’s or wherever the hell they are

Who’s the safer driver? 

dave...but he also dislikes driving. brad has the worst road rage ever but dave’s willing to put up with it if it means he can stare out the window

What’s each member's flirting style?

after their initial mutual-oblivious-pining they’re both pretty direct. dave drops a lot of compliments while brad keeps trying to do favors for him

Which member borrows (steals) the other one's clothing?

van driessen borrows buzzcut’s clothes; i don’t think buzzcut could fit in any of van d’s. one time after van d spends the night at buzzcut’s, brad walks into the kitchen to find dave making breakfast while wearing one of his gym shirts and he stops for a moment because it’s the cutest damn sight he’s ever seen 

Who is the cuddle initiator?

they’re 50/50, buzzcut loooves doing that “yawn-turned-arm-around-shoulder” thing and van driessen loves cuddling up with him

Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

they’re both pretty introverted, they attend some things out of obligation but they’ll stand in the corner and quietly bitch the whole time

Who is the big/little spoon?

vast majority of the time buzzcut is big spoon and van driessen is little spoon but they occasionally switch

Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason?

they both make different kinds of impulsive decisions. buzzcut has to stop van d from playing in the rain cause he’s gonna catch pneumonia and van d has to stop buzzcut from fighting people all the time

Who’s more likely to laugh at their own jokes?

dave. brad laughs at how cute he thinks this is

Who takes longer showers?

also dave. like i said, buzzcut’s military habits die hard. dave convinces him to shower together after giving some bullshit speech about conserving water and the environment and all that. brad immediately sees through it and is like “you know...you can just ask”

Who is “more loved” by the in-laws?

all of their parents suck so they’re not really involved but in my liddle backstories i made for them, bradley has 2 older sisters who LOVE david, they’re so excited to have a new baby brother who does all the “girly” stuff bradley wouldn’t let them do with him as kids (they’re in their 50s now but that doesn’t stop them). they braid his hair and do his nails and stuff and brad’s like “dave you don’t have to put up with this if you don’t want it” and dave’s like “no bradley i like it :)”

if tom (david’s deceased older brother) was still alive i think he and brad would get along; imo they’re both into more “masculine” hobbies than dave is so they’d often talk about those. ofc tom dying in the gulf war and brad being fucked from his time in the military definitely (and rightfully/correctly) contributes to van driessen’s sheer loathing of the military

Who is more likely to get jealous?

yknow last time i thought abt this i said buzzcut but i’m changing my mind. i loooove jealous girlfriend van d. if any of the moms try flirting with brad during curriculum night dave starts getting all clingy

What was the most surprising thing they learned about one another once they started dating?

brad is surprised to learn that dave swears quite a bit and also eats meat (but only from one of his hippie friend’s farms). dave is surprised at how damn good brad is at cooking and that he smokes

Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

they’re both guilty of staying up way too late. like i said earlier, bradley ends up carrying david to bed if he stays up too late. if brad’s up too late, david insists on staying up with him, but he’ll start softly humming and trying to cuddle with him until brad gives in

Who’s messier? 

dave, but he never sets out to make a mess, it just happens and then he finds himself surrounded by clutter

Which member is more likely to accidentally spend $300 at Target?

i think they’re both pretty mindful of their spending, but probably van driessen

Who wanted/would want kids first? 

neither really wants kids since they spend so much time around them at work. they have a kitty that dave finds as a stray and brings home

Who gives piggy back rides to the other? 

they don’t really do piggyback rides but sometimes buzzcut carries van d around bridal-style

Who fell in love first?

between the two of them, david, but everyone else noticed they liked each other and wanted them to get together first. definitely a major point of gossip in the teacher’s lounge when neither of them were in there

[emovatore]

SEASONS TAG! ☼

i was tagged to do this by @herbalteasims thank you !! 💕💖✨

1. which season are you gonna play with first?

Fall. Eternal summer BEGONE. Or maybe winter. I’m DESPERATE to see Windenburg in the winter.

2. from what you’ve seen in the trailer, what are you most excited about?

GOD I don’t know. All of it? Everything? Yeah, everything. but mostly snow in windenburg

3. what’s your favorite season irl?

Not summer, I can tell you that.

4. what’s your favorite flower / plant?

Sunflowers and snapdragons.

5. are you going to create a new sim/family or are you gonna keep your current household?

I’m gonna keep playing my current family. I imagine my generation two heir will be a young adult by then, so there’ll be a lot to do with that.

6. what would you like to see in this new add-on that you haven’t seen yet?

Honestly I don’t have an answer for this question oml akjgskajfas

7. how do you feel about not getting a new neighborhood with seasons?

I literally do not care. They said that they wanted to focus on how the existing worlds are affected, and they’ve also said each world has a unique climate, which is exactly what I wanted. So I couldn’t care less about there being no new world. I haven’t even finished exploring Brindleton Bay yet.

8. snow, rain or sun?

Rain. I’ve seen enough sun to last me a lifetime, and snow’s fun when it shows up, which it hasn’t in years, but it’s a nightmare to travel after it’s snowed.

9. favorite refreshing summer drink?

water. I pretty much only drink water, ever. or a salted caramel mocha frappuccino. but i’d drink that even if it were freezing cold outside.

10. favorite hot drink in the winter?

Coffee. I have to drink coffee every morning when I wake up, even in the summer.

11. walk through the forest or by the beach?

Forest. I love the beach, but walking on the beach is so hard on account of the SAND. I don’t like sand. It’s coarse, it’s rough, it’s irritating, and it gets everywhere. Also yeah I did pull out a vintage meme to distract from the fact that my name’s sand but I hate sand.

12. swimming pools or the ocean?

If I really have to choose, ocean. Swimming pools are fun, but I’m allergic to chlorine, so I have to be real quick about getting in the shower once I’m out of the pool. And I know I was just talking about how I hate walking on the beach because of sand, but I love the feeling of waves just picking me up when I’m in the ocean.

13. where would you like to travel if you could go somewhere right now?

Somewhere cold. Canada, maybe.

14. how is the weather today?

No idea. Looks like it rained outside during the night, and it’s kinda chilly right now, but I’m sure by noon it’ll be 500 degrees out. The weather lately has been all over the place.

15. what new traits would you like to see in the new add-on?

Definitely something along the lines of “Hates the heat/summer” or “Hates the cold/winter” since those are pretty realistic traits to have. I’d never use them because there’s so few trait slots to begin with but, they’d be fun to have I guess.

16. do you like to play with supernatural creatures like vampires and aliens? and if so, would you like witches/faries/elves?

Sure do, but only when I’m in the mood for it. Not gonna involve the occults in my current save, but I love my bisexual vampire boyfriend Caleb Vatore. Aliens I’ve played with way less than vampires, but I’ve had plenty of sims get abducted.

And I’d imagine I’d feel the same about witches and werewolves and fairies and stuff as I do about vampires. I’d have a blast playing them, but it’d only be when I’m in the mood to deal with them.

17. what is your favorite thing to do during winter?

wonder why it’s still 90 degrees because i’m from southern california and idk what a Winter is.

18. … during spring?

celebrate my birthday.

19. … during summer?

suffer.

20. … during autumn?

carve pumpkins. i’d love to go out on walks just as the sun sets, but it’s always nasty and humid here at that time of day. so that’s a good idea in theory.

21. have you pre-ordered seasons? and if you haven’t are you going to pre-order it or wait till it comes out?

Haven’t pre-ordered it yet, no. Waiting to get my paycheck, then I’m going to preorder it. I’m pretty against preordering things, but sims is my weakness, I guess.

22. in which neighborhood are you gonna play in sims first?

Like with seasons? Windenburg. I wanna see the SNOW there.

23. do you listen to music while playing? and if you so, what are you favorite songs to listen to?

I didn’t used to, but I pretty much have to now. That’s actually caused... some ISSUES. To say the LEAST. But I still do it.

As for the songs, it depends on what sim I’m playing with at the time. I listen to certain genres for certain sims. Like when I was playing my last legacy that involved my vampire heir and Caleb Vatore, I listened to a lot of alternative stuff. Mainly My Chemical Romance though, since, I mean, of course? Right.

Lately I’ve been listening to the songs Oh Ana by Mother Mother and Don’t You Dare Forget The Sun by Get Scared a lot while playing.

Oh and Smooth and Wow Wow by Neil Cicierega. But those are mostly when I’m not playing the game, just editing outfits or building.

24. What’s your favorite thing to do in the sims? creating sims, building, etc?

I love creating sims, that’s probably what I’m best at. Storytelling, mostly though. Oh and also, for whatever reason, I really love the grind that comes with the beginning of the legacy challenge. Especially when the bill percent is increased. Makes this fun.

25. what’s your favorite kit/pack/add-on?

Just like, one out of all of them? Not sure. But I think Get Together is my favorite expansion, Vampires and Parenthood are my favorite game packs, and then Vintage Glamour and Movie Hangout are my favorite stuff packs.

26. and finally, what add-on / pack would you like to see next?

I’ll just be like half the rest of the fans and say University. More occult stuff would be fine too, but I don’t know, I always prefer the packs rooted in realism more than the more Wacky packs.

Hmmm I always feel weird tagging people akjfaskjfa but how about @allurasims @sailor-day-sims @catmily @celestialsims-y @hallucinosims @lovelythesimmer @waywardqueensims ok is that too many people idk ajgkajjk i feel like it’s too many dang people so i’ll just stop and go to sleep now

[floreleine]

That GM prequel fic - part 3: Florence's POV

Part 1 (Madeleine, <1k, G)

Part 2 (Scarlet, 1k, G)

Ships: Floreleine & ScarletMay

Hiding the entire fic under the readmore this time for Part 1+2 spoiler reasons! This one's also rated G (or T if we're going for swear words and alcohol consumption I guess), a little over 1k words.

There will be at least 1 more part of this, and then I might post a revised and possibly longer version to ao3.

Bc idk where to put this in the fic itself yet, quick setting overview: they're not sitting around a table but instead Florence and Madeleine are sitting on a small couch, Scarlet is next to Madeleine on a wobbly kitchen chair and Anna May is sitting opposite them on a barstool at the kitchen aisle.

That night, the librarians plus Scarlet (and minus Baby, who is sleeping in the next room under a security camera that both Madeleine and Scarlet insist on checking every other minute) are sitting in the kitchen together for dinner and a drink.

Or five drinks in Anna May's case, as she downs the first one in one go and hasn't let go of the Whiskey bottle since. Florence can't blame her, really - if Madeleine had run off with some guy, no matter how early in their relationship, only to return a year later with tears and a baby... She has no idea what she'd be doing right now.

Madeleine and Scarlet are talking about the child right now, sharing child-caring advice - Florence is fairly certain that Madeleine has her knowledge from books and only from books, but she seems to have picked out sound advice from all that she has read at least - and Florence has to smile fondly at how Madeleine is glowing at the prospect of having a child in the library.

Scarlet is careful in her replies, not wanting to commit to anything, her eyes shifting back to Anna May whenever she doesn't think that the others are looking.

'She's afraid she'll kick her out after all,' Florence thinks with a quiet sigh. 'Can't blame her, Anna knows how to hold a grudge, and with how she is drinking right now... It isn't her friendliest appearance'.

Still, she thinks that they will work it out. They better. It's been a while since she has seen Anna May have an emotional reaction to just about anything, and it can't be healthy to keep it all locked inside, pushing all chances of happiness away.

Madeleine must have heard her sigh, and she leans back against Florence's side. Florence squeezes her arm, content to have her by her side, glad that they, at least, don't have to worry about their relationship status. Being with Madeleine always relaxes her, makes her feel like everything is alright in the world.

Madeleine presses a kiss to her chin and, after checking that both Scarlet and Anna May are looking down at their glasses, nods in the direction of the door. 'Should we give those two some privacy?'

Florence tilts her head for a moment to consider, then shakes her head, nodding at Anna May, and Madeleine winces a little. Yes, Anna is barely keeping it together now, who knows what she may say or rather shout if they left them alone... Anna May should get a chance to cool down, before she ends up saying something she doesn't mean and would regret.

As if on cue, Anna May throws back the rest of the Whiskey in her glass in one gulp and loudly brings it down on the kitchen counter as if to dispel the silence that has fallen.

"Fuck."

Madeleine looks like she wants to remind her about cursing with children in the house again, but Florence squeezes her arm to stop her. They don't need to irritate Anna May even more right now.

"I'm sorry," Scarlet says immediately. Florence doesn't think that she is apologizing for anything in particular, just for the situation in general, for present and past.

Anna May gets up and turns around, putting her glass in the sink and turning on the water, but then just leaning against it with her hands holding onto the metal edge and her knuckles turning white.

Florence is trying to decide whether to step in or not when Scarlet speaks up again in a shaky voice. "I can - I can leave, I don't have to -" she gets up, clearly ready to bolt, and Anna May flinches, but she doesn't turn back around.

"No-one's" leaving, Florence says at the same time as Madeleine says "No, don't be silly!" They share a smile, and then Madeleine squeezes her hand before getting up and walking over to Madeleine. "Come on, let me show you everything. You can sleep in the room with Samantha, me and Florence aren't really using it much anyway."

Florence watches them go with a soft smile. Madeleine always knows what to do, what to say. She's so grateful to have her.

Once the other two have left, Florence goes up to Anna May and slams the still-running tap down, making her jump.

"Stop wasting water and get a hold of yourself, Anna!"

Anna May whirls around, clearly ready to fight, but Florence just throws her a deadpan look and she deflates.

"Fuck, I don't know what to do." She slurs her words a little, but not as much as Florence would have expected after that much alcohol.

"Right now? You are going to drink some water so you will not be terribly hungover tomorrow. And tomorrow, you have got to think about whether you want that woman and her kid to stick around or not."

Anna May flinches a little, but when Florence sighs and pours her a glass of water, she takes it without protest and gulps most of it down in one go.

"I dun' want her to leave," she then murmurs, staring down at the glass in her hands. "She left me once, I don't want her to leave me again."

Florence sighs and pulls her into a hug. "Bloody hell, Anna, why did you never say anything? You must have been fucking heartbroken, and all you told us was that you gave dating one last chance."

Anna May half-laughs, half-sobs and clings to Florence like a lifeline. "Don't know. Didn't want to be weak. Didn't want it to be real."

"Oh, Anna," Florence sighs and squeezes her tightly. Then she takes a step back and fixes her with a hard look. "You've got to tell her that, you know that, Anna May? She is going to run away just to give you space while you are not talking to her because you're afraid she might run anyway."

Anna May sighs and grimaces a little, but nods. "I - tomorrow. I'll tell her tomorrow, before I can chicken out." she sighs. "I mean, it's not like I know whether she'd want to - whether she still-" she sighs. "She only left me because he didn't want to share, but maybe by now she's just over me."

Florence shrugs. "I can't look in her head, Anna, but from the way she looks at you... I think you guys will figure it out."

Anna May nods uncertainty, then frowns again. "And you'd be fine with it, if she's staying here... Indefinitely? I mean, she has a - kid -" she adds with a somewhat perplexed expression on her face, making Florence laugh. She's half of a mind to say 'congrats, you're a step-mom!' but stops herself at the last second. There will be time for that kind of joke when the peace between Anna May and that Scarlet isn't quite so fragile anymore. "Exactly," she instead replies. "So you know Madeleine will be mad at you forever if you let them get away."

Anna May snorts. "She did seem quite... taken by the kid."

Florence nods, frowning a little herself now. "She's always wanted kids, she just accepted that it isn't sensible in our line of work, and that I am not interested in them anyway. Seeing her with Samantha, now I'm wondering..."

"You did nothing wrong," Anna May reassures her. "And fuck, can you imagine having two kids around? It will be bad enough, trying to protect the one from everybody."

Florence sighs and nods. "I suppose. But I'm sure we'll manage. ...are you going to be alright now, or do I have to hide the Whiskey?"

"I'm not a drunk," Anna May replies a little offended, and Florence grins.

"I know you're not, but you sure made a great impression of one earlier!"

Anna May groans, and then she turns back to the counter to refill her waterglass. "Fuck, I'll be so dead tomorrow."

"Sleep in, then. Me 'n Madeleine will make sure Scarlet won't take off before you're awake and had your talk with her."

Anna May nods sharply. Florence smiles and squeezes her arm. "Well, get some sleep. I'll check on Scarlet and Madeleine."

~

Anna May nods again, and Florence sees her lean back against the counter with a deep sigh while she is leaving the kitchen. She really hopes that Anna May will take her advice to heart. Some heartbreak can't be avoided- but the one between her and Scarlet doesn't seem quite so inevitable.

Part 4

@phoenixhalliwell @thesevenwondersofawitch another update, hope you liked it!

If anyone else wants to be tagged for this series, lmk! Not tagging my usual GM tag list in every fic update as that would just be spammy.

Taking prompts!

[bookwyrminspiration]

(Ophelia) I’d be happy to see any of your grandmother’s works if you’d want to show them. (This is in response to what you said in the tags of our previous conversation.) If you no longer feel comfortable showing it that’s okay too, opinions change over time. Either way, I’m sure the bears look lovely as they are your grandmother’s handiwork. Also, Happy Holidays if there are any that you celebrate at this time. That might sound a bit strange to say after the rest of this message, I’m sorry if it does.

oh hello ophelia!! that's very sweet of you, and I'd love to show some of my grandma's work! I don't have access to a lot of it, seeing as I live halfway across the country and also she wasn't well enough to make things for the last several years, but I do have a few things that I can show!

(I'm putting this under a readmore so I don't take up space with the photos! and also me talking)

[ID: Two white bear-like stuffed animals sitting with each other in a chair. One is a lot bigger than the other, about the size of a child. The body is stuffed a lot more than the legs and arms, making it very round. It wears nothing but a homemade hat and bowtie, a faint smile on its face. The second bear is very similar, only closer to a normal stuffed animal size and sitting in the lap of the first bear. This one wears a plain red hair with a purple plume and stripped overalls. A green tie is attached to the front and all items of clothing are made by my grandma. /End ID.]

These are the bears that I mentioned in the other post!! They're bears closer to the way a teddy bear is a bear and not like an actual bear, but they've been around for as long as I can remember. They're probably older than me. And also they do have ears you just can't really see them! My sister and I each have a specific thing associated with grandma's house from all our visits. Mine is the clock that tells time that doesn't exist (now that I type this I'm realizing I don't think I've actually mentioned that on tumblr, only on discord. so if I haven't and you'd like an explanation I'd be more than happy to!! it was always one of my favorite parts of visiting) and my sister's are these two bears.

We always stay in the same room when we visit (as in we sleep together in the same room, and the room we stay in is the same every time), and both the clock and the bears are located in said room. There's actually a huge collection of dolls that my grandma made that are currently just sitting on a the shelves in her sewing room. Wait hang on I think I actually have a picture I can add.

[ID: A very cluttered collection of shelves. Every available surface has some kind of doll or stuffed animal on it, things with faces like scarecrows, others with bodies like mice and bears, others similar to cabbage patch dolls. All are made by my grandma. It's not clear in the picutre, but the area is very dusty and looks like it shouldn't be disturbed. /End ID.]

So these are the kinds of things she would make! Well, one small section of the things she made. She made a lot of clothes, too. Anything sewing related. She made quilts (i'll get to that later) and dresses and pants and shirts and vests and aprons. In fact, the only apron I've ever had that I can remember was made by her. It's still hanging in the kitchen for whenever I need it, I just don't usually wear an apron when I bake.

Going back to the clothes thing, I wasn't around enough for her to really make me a wardrobe the way she did for my mom as a kid, but she would always make my sister and I these pajama dresses. She'd make us one every Christmas and I wore them so much. There was this one with heart fabric that I loved so much I wore it even when the cuffs fell off after so many washes (idk why we didn't just...repair the before they got to that stage, but it's fine!) I still have one of them in my dresser, but I haven't worn it in a long time. It'd probably be really short on me now (not completely unwearable, just teetering on the edge), but I wore them so much as a kid. I don't have a photo of it though.

but back to the bears real quick! I got distracted by the dolls

[ID: A close up photo of the hat the large bear was wearing in the first photo. It's covered in sewing materials like buttons, a pin cushion, and spools of various colored threads. Instead of a ribbon, a tape measure is wrapped around the base. The pattern of the base fabric isn't obvious, but it seems to be several different floral fabrics. /End ID.]

This is the hat that the big bear wears!! I think it's interesting enough to get it's own photo because it looks so cool. I don't think it would ever be practical for an actual person to wear, but it's great for the bear! and seeing as she worked at fabric stores for like a decade and a half, she had a lot of access to things like pin cushions and spools of thread. I mean, she's also got a ton of them in her sewing room, but she always preferred the magnetic pin holders and liked to use the thread to actually sew things.

I actually sewed with her at least once, but never anything like this. I wasn't experienced enough at the time, so she was mainly showing me how to use this hemming machine. I'd used a regular sewing machine before (and still use it to this day), but not the hemming one. You know how clothes sometimes have that hem that looks all loopy and crossed over itself? that's what the machine does. I'd like to have one, but I don't sew enough at the moment to justify it. I' good with the Bernina my family has, which is like a 1008 or something.

But moving on!

[ID: A quilt on my bed with a repeating pattern. The backgroung is a bunch of various colored small squares in cool colors. The squares don't really have patterns, but are more demure. This allows the yellow four-pointed stars to stand out more, and they are evenly spaced throughout the entire quilt.]

This! this quilt is the main thing I have that my grandma made. As a seamstress, she decided that she wanted to make each of her grandchildren a quilt. There are seven of us, so we each got a quilt. Mine is currently on my bed (there was a period of time where I would have it intentionally upside down because I liked the back fabric), but my sister's is stored away so I don't remember what it looks like. I also don't think I've ever seen my cousins' quilts at all, but I know we all have them.

The quilt has a little tag in the corner that isn't picture that has my name on it with a little Love Grandma on it. Well, it has my deadname, but that's because she made it before I changed my name. I actually have a few children's books sewn by her with my deadname too, but that's from when I was like a toddler so I don't mind.

I've made a quilt before myself, but never anything like this. I made a small tessellation quilt for a project in 4th grade (yea, that was an assigned project in fourth grade for some reason) and another more freestyle one for a contest in 5th grade, which I won 1st place in. But those were on a much smaller scale than this quilt.

When I was younger I loved to find the mistakes in the quilt, because even experts mess things up sometimes. In a quilt with a repeating pattern like this, the mistakes are the orientations of some of the quilt squares, so the stars and their points don't all line up properly. And given that it is a repeating pattern, it would take me a few minutes to find them each time because everything blends together and also I would forget where the mistakes were.

so those are a few of the things my grandma made that we have around the house. There are others like our sewing bag and all the photos my parents probably have of those pajama dresses, but I hope you enjoyed at least part of it! She was an incredibly talented seamstress and loved everything to do with sewing. She even requested that an image of a sewing machine be put on her headstone, though I don't think that's been done yet.

It's because of her that I got introduced to some of the crafts I enjoy like latchhooking and crossstitching, so it's nice to be able to share some of her crafts.

And happy holidays to you, too! My family isn't huge on Christmas (it technically isn't our holiday as we're baha'i, but we have enough family and friends who celebrate that we get sucked in and just go with it). And it's not a weird thing to say after that message! If you celebrate Christmas, I hope you enjoyed it <33

[hunxi-guilai]

helloo i really loved your songxian fic - i was wondering if you had any xiao xingchen and/or song lan fic recs? gen or in a relationship (from one ace spec person to another :D) ALSO for carrion glass, i would love to hear about song lan's double agent adventures (and oh man WHAT did the inside of his head look like as he was figuring that out? in terms of how do i survive & how do i live with myself & how do i be someone xiao xingchen wouldn't hate) OR any deleted scene you'd like to share!

:DDDDDDDDDDD omg I got a question! multiple questions!!! about carrion glass!!!!

hmm... I’m afraid I don’t really have fic recs for songxiao just because I haven’t read enough -- I’m sure there are good ones out there, I just haven’t read much in this fandom. Off the top of my head, I remember enjoying “Words Unspoken, Sights Unseen” by GlendaloughGoddess for the nuanced portrayal of Xiao Xingchen -- I feel like Xiao Xingchen often gets pigeonholed as this ‘uwu pure sweet innocent angel’ archetype that to me feels two-dimensional and unsatisfying, so I enjoyed the fact that Xiao Xingchen was mad in this fic

(as always! heed the warnings in the tags!)

more about carrion glass under the cut! (rip assuming tumblr puts my readmore where I actually put it, idk if anyone else’s readmores have been fucked up by formatting but mine have been s u f f e r i n g lately)

Okay! Okay okay okay let’s talk about double agent Song Lan!

So Song Lan actually deals with the whole “oh-shit-I-reneged-on-everything-I-ever-stood-for” much, much better than Xiao Xingchen does; in that split second, he looks at their shared ideals, then looks at Xiao Xingchen, living, breathing, and so goddamned precious to him, and he chooses -- whatever will keep Xiao Xingchen alive, and Xiao Xingchen’s odds aren’t looking good after he mouthed off to Wen Xu.

That being said, Song Lan doesn’t just drop all of his morals -- he negotiates a contract with Wen Xu, a contract with a steep price but one that he knows he can pay (what’s a tongue, in the scheme of things? Xiao Xingchen would literally dig out his eyes for Song Lan), because he has no intention of actually compromising his morals that much and allying with the Wen Sect. From the moment he signs the talismanic contract, he gives up his voice and makes his peace with that.

He goes straight to Lan Wangji, the only person in Sunshot leadership that he knows, and immediately outlines his offer of becoming a double agent. What didn’t make it into the final version was the whole logistical mess of what being a double agent would actually entail, because Lan Xichen (yeah, Lan Xichen was almost in this fic) is the one who’s receiving and analyzing military intelligence for the campaign as a whole, so Song Lan works with Lan Xichen (and Meng Yao) to cherrypick what (mis)information he ends up communicating back to the Wen Sect

so when Meng Yao shows up for a hot second in carrion glass? That was the remnants of a foundation for a longer subplot arc involving Song Lan and his espionage, and in that moment, Meng Yao was genuinely trying to protect Song Lan but it’s hard to protect someone from Wen Chao when you’re undercover yourself

god, Lan Tayun didn’t even make it into this version -- she would’ve been Song Lan’s handler, a special messenger between Lan Xichen and Song Lan specifically, and she was great. Her name，踏云 tayun, literally means ‘to step on clouds’ and is actually a nickname instead of a courtesy name -- she got it because she could outrun and outfly everyone else in her cohort at Cloud Recesses, and she tells Xiao Xingchen that he can call her by her courtesy name if he can ever beat her in a footrace, and not a day before

BUT I’m getting distracted from Song Lan, what I’m trying to say is that Song Lan made peace with himself pretty easily; he just recalibrated his value system from morality-based to Xiao Xingchen-based, and so his primary conflict was his worry that, because of said morality recalibration, Xiao Xingchen would no longer want to associate with him because they no longer shared the same values, which is part of the reason why Song Lan is so quietly devoted in the background of carrion glass -- he’s terrified that Xiao Xingchen will come to his senses and choose to part ways with him, but Song Lan will not give up on the two of them until Xiao Xingchen does

(Xiao Xingchen doesn’t. The thought never crosses his mind. but c’mon, would it be a proper CQL fic if there weren’t some serious miscommunication about the mutual devotion and adoration in the central relationship?)

one thing that I was pleasantly surprised to discover while writing carrion glass? Xiao Xingchen is INCREDIBLY sassy, which is only compounded by the fact that he’s now also part-chaos-gremlin-Wei Wuxian. One of the deleted scenes involved a roundtable interrogation of Xiao Xingchen by all the major sect leaders (kind of an echo/parallel of that time Wei Wuxian rolls up to a strategy meeting, says ‘don’t worry about the yin iron but also don’t ask me how I’m planning to deal with it,’ and peaces out), where they start poking holes in his story about the Burial Mounds ( “but how did you survive if Wei Wuxian died?” "so you’re asking us to believe that you massacred two Wen encampments approximately two weeks after you came back from the brink of death?”). Xiao Xingchen fields the questions as politely as he can until he gets fed up and says something along the lines of 

if Jin-gongzi would like to accuse me of murdering Wei-gongzi in the Burial Mounds, please say so directly so that I may be confident in my belief that associating with cultivation sects is, in fact, a complete and utter waste of time

a silence falls in the war room like the stunned moment after a slap. Jiang Cheng visibly flinches. The Twin Jades stare. Nie Mingjue breaks the silence with a startled laugh, and says that was not our intended implication, Xiao-daozhang -- I’m merely impressed that you did alone what twenty of my best men could not because godDAMMIT this entire fic WAS born out of that post about Nie Mingjue being the only sect leader songxiao would truly respect, and I wanted some Nie Mingjue - songxiao solidarity!!!!

this isn’t a deleted scene or more Song Lan content, but a question I still find myself thinking about (ffs when will I move ON) is whether or not Lan Wangji was quietly, sorrowfully, resignedly in love with Xiao Xingchen by the end of the fic. We know that Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian with a deep, eternal love, vast and ancient as glacier rivers, everpresent as great winds rushing over grasslands. We know that Lan Wangji will love Wei Wuxian into death and beyond, through worlds and lives and resurrections; we know that Lan Wangji will love Wei Wuxian no matter what body Wei Wuxian wears 

yeah. I wonder. I wrote the goddamned fic, and I don’t even know the answer to that

[albatris]

badly-worded extremely long-winded question post for people who don’t mind lots of ATDAO spoilers

of the “hey is this an understandable thing to happen or would people think it’s a plot hole?” sort

it’s under a readmore but WATCH OUT the tags contain probably even more spoilers. I got to the end of the post and was like “oh I’m not done, actually”

though tbf the tags are not about the question, they’re me being like “ok this sounds like just a dodgy excuse for miscommunication as a plot device but listen” and they are not relevant to the post so you can just. glide right on over those without reading if you like

idk if it would be considered a plot hole for Kieran to see Kai for the first time with zero of the time loop context and just

not realise that anything is off??

like for Kieran to see Kai and immediately be like “you fucking bastard I’m gonna kill you let’s fucking go right now” rather than “oh hey you haven’t aged at all what’s up with that”

like what happens is that……. basically no one in Kai’s family has any idea what actually happened to Kai beyond missing-presumed-dead?? n for them seven years have passed, they had a funeral, n like, they’ve been dealing with the fallout and the emotional trauma and the grief of losing their child / sibling / family member, things kind of fell apart and never quite returned to normal

and it’s been seven years! yeah! Kai would be about 23 years old had they not taken a surprise vacaction outside the linear flow of time

but I imagine there is a LOT going on in Kieran’s head in the seconds immediately following him opening that door and none of those things are likely “hm I am going to take the time to think about this rationally and logically before having an emotional reaction :)”

I think it just goes

confusion -> recognition -> relief -> realisation -> fucking blinding all-consuming FURY

like in terms of emotional reaction Kieran cycles through a whoooole lot in the span of about thirty-two seconds before landing on “you absolute fucking bastard”

ie “you left us to fucking deal with all this on our own and we mourned you and everything fell apart and you were just off doing god knows what for seven years without even bothering to show your face how fucking DARE you assume you’re welcome here”

like I feel like the fact that Kai should be 23 may be vaguely on Kieran’s radar but I feel like you just would not be unpacking that in his position

AND TO BE FAIR some people don’t change in appearance very much? like, most people do, but also, my best friend still looks super super similar, like, working within the same time frame

so I feel like it maaaaay not be immediate cause to be like “hmm something weird might be going on”? but that also feels like bending over backwards to try and justify it

I guess the main question is just like…… if I don’t elaborate on Kieran’s reaction or try and justify it with “ehhh it’s not IMPOSSIBLE that Kai might look basically the same despite being seven years older” would people be like “uhhhh how could he not realise something was wrong??? that’s a huge plot hole??”

like whether with Kieran’s extreme emotional reaction and being in the heat of the moment people would be like “oh sure it’s understandable that he wasn’t exactly thinking clearly and this didn’t cross his mind”

whether that’s a Reasonable Thing That Makes Sense

[tauriatalksmonkeys]

Ideas on Xan's relationship with Antauri and Mandarin and how he could have treated them differently?

:D i’ve seen a few different people’s answers to this, so i think it’s. finally time that i give you some as well :P (also this ended up kind of long, so! i’ve put a lot of it under a readmore :D)

I believe this is something that I’ve halfway talked about before? But that was... idk, a year or so ago? So, I don’t necessarily think that my thoughts now will match up with my thoughts then XD

As a mentor, I think Xan was very strict and distant? I think he was a very tough mentor who expected the best from both of them at all times. He wasn’t necessarily cruel when they failed, but there was always that... disappointed feeling from him, behind the mask. Success, though, was usually rewarded. Rare compliments were given out, or maybe they would be allowed to take a long break / a day off, or something? I don’t know. I feel like he rewarded excellence, did nothing for mediocrity, and assigned tougher / crueler tasks if you were slacking off.

I also feel like Xan had a very holier-than-thou attitude that was sort of... encouraged / cultivated by the other Verans. I mean. You have this whole group of people who are just... super entrenched in the Power Primate (and the fact that theyre apparently glowing humanoid beings is honestly a waste. a planet full of sapient gorillas or smth would have been cooler, imo. but i should stop, before i go on a tangent / give myself ideas :p). They know a lot about it, they’ve obviously collected all the lore that they can about various galactic mythos and such, and...

They do nothing with it.

Did they warn the people of Shuggazoom that their planet was the host of a Dark One egg? No! Did they monitor the state of the Dark One egg? No! Did they keep an eye on Skeleton King, someone corrupted by Dark One forces? No! What about Yoggasoth (or whatever the water-god’s name was)? Did they take the box he was sealed in away for containment? No!

They seem very much content to ignore the goings-on of the rest of the universe, and that’s why I have the tag #varon mystics hate blog.

I feel like Mandarin was always something of a perfectionist. The type who could not, would not accept failure. I feel like the Alchemist would have done his best to sort of... get him to accept failure as part of the process? But that Xan, on the other hand, encouraged those perfectionist tendencies, making them more prominent and perhaps even worse. 

Which, like, I don’t want to take away all of Mandarin’s agency, BUT I also like to think that if certain things had been different, he would have tried to take over Shuggazoom. And one of those things might have been having a better mentor.

*clears throat*

Anyway!

However, outside of that, I feel like Mandarin and Xan clashed a lot. Xan strikes me as someone who very much likes to hear himself talk, and to wax poetic---two things Mandarin has no patience for. In part because Mandarin also likes to hear himself talk---though he’s more likely to get straight to the point.

I also feel like part of Mandarin’s desire to sort of take over the city stemmed from wanting to help. Like. I definitely think there was some arrogance to the plan, maybe he got a little lost in being the absolute boss---but I think at the end of the day he really did just want to make the city safer? Like. The people of Shuggazoom really don’t seem to know how to handle being attacked, even though it literally happens all the time.

So, obviously, Mandarin wanting to do the opposite of the Verans and actually, y’know, keep people out of danger; wanting to implement proper safety procedures; and... well. Live out some of his more grandiose fantasies, where he’s the kickass leader / ruler that everyone looks up to.

But, of course, it backfires, and that’s part of the reason that he clashes with his team, because they don’t get where he’s coming from, because all they read from him is arrogance.

And probably other, more complicated things to? Because like I said, I don’t want to take agency from him, or gloss over / remove the fact that he was wrong, but I also think it was more complicated than it was presented in the show.

As for Antauri, I think he was very much the model student in some ways, and less so in others? I think parts of the Veran’s training came easily to him, like meditation & the inner primate & such, but I think other parts came harder to him. So he and Mandarin were more or less equal in that way?

However, I feel like he got on better with Xan. The two of them could engage in long, complicated philosophical debates, PLUS Antauri was (unfortunately) more easily manipulated than Mandarin. So, Xan very much treated him like a teacher’s pet / someone to use. & he very much filled Antauri’s head with a lot of things---like emotional distance & not letting people in & doing his duty above all else & other, not immediately obviously harmful stuff, but which (in my headcanon) did do damage to him, and very much affected his relationships to the team.

Part of Mandarin (the part that look for approval, however much he denies doing so) was jealous / angry about that. The other part felt sorry for Antauri, because... oof.

I also kind of feel like Xan would have pitted them against each other? Made them compete for his approval / affection? Not necessarily in an obvious way, but! & I feel like, it wasn’t until after they left Koralodal that Mandarin & Antauri’s relationship recovered. (Though it never really did fully, which is why Mandarin considered Otto his closest confidante. Maybe?)

As for how he could have done things differently!! Um, I think he could have been easier on them, and let them know it was okay to fail. I think he could have taught them that yes, making decisions based on logic and not emotion is a good idea, but feeling things isn’t bad --- and neither is cultivating relationships!

[telesthisia]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

TAGGED BY: @hyaciiintho​ thank you so much!!! <3 TAGGING: @rcguna​ @cadcnce​ either or whatever works for you bear, @panickypeachboy​ @paintmaid​ @emfiliae​ @windmcge​ and you as well!! The person reading this

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. <--- leaving this here because this is super sweet ALSO FAIR WARNING my blog has right click turned off. I’m going to be placing this under readmore but I think you can see it on dashboard view! If not lmk we’ll work something out!!! 

MY MUSE IS:   CANON / OC / AU (Verse dependent) / CANON-DIVERGENT (Interactions & verse dependent) / FANDOMLESS

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES well kinda at least thanks to ssbu before she wasn’t that well known I MEAN PPL KNEW HER BUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE AS MANY FANART AS OTHER ZELDAS SDJBKHJABSD/ NO

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK because not too many people talk about her and by her I mean ALTTP Zel, people are bonkers over SSBU Zel! 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO if we’re talking about the canon of ALTTP and OoX series rather than ssbu it’s a hard no, she has enough magic to be considered a sacrifice to break barriers and revive the dead but not enough to fend herself off from evil mages who want to talk over the world / IDK

Are they underrated?  YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   NOT THAT STRICT HONESTLY, she’s just an OC at this point haha because she has zero substance in her own god damn game ;v; she’s just exposition.txt with dulcina effect playing into view though it is somewhat justified since she is the princess and the only thing that stopped Agahnim from breaking out Ganon.... I MEAN!!! SHE’S NOT AT ALL A DEPRESSED CALM ROMANTIC IN CANON LET’S PUT IT TO YOU THAT WAY SDBKASDJHBDASD. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.   TAKES A DEEP BREATH

Tiny funky elf princess trying her best to rule elf kingdom. HJKA there’s more, I’m lazy but not that lazy. She’s the descendent of essentially a mortal god, more than likely acting as an avatar of sorts to the goddess Hylia, as such she’s gifted with fantastical abilities that’s been passed down her family for generations and she intends to use these powers to protect her kingdom that’s still on the road of recovery, as the sole survivor from Agahnim’s destruction upon Hyrule and thus sole scion she’s left picking up the small fragments from the tragedy that occurred ages ago where the Hero of Time had fallen. But here’s the downside to these powers: she was born with a very weak body and poor health as such she can’t utilize the abilities she has from her bloodline aside from a few powers without affecting her low stamina issues. Namely telepathy, clairvoyance, healing, sealing things away, creating barriers, and connection with the spirit realm. As such, she tends to rely on the wisdom given to her by her naturally bright mind and enhanced by the mythical object known as the Triforce of Wisdom. Surprisingly, she can be cunning despite her soft-hearted nature and is willing to do whatever it takes to protect her kingdom and people she loves, her silent determination more than makes up for the lack of powers she may have. That in mind, she’s often the target of more nefarious plans that means the downfall of her kingdom. She may not have the amazing light magic spells her ancestors did to prevent darkness from taking over but that doesn’t mean her magic isn’t any less potent, she just can’t tap into it. She’s an easy target for enemies that wish to use her sacred powers to revive the dead Ganon or break pass whatever powerful barrier or seal that’s in place. 

Her future is pretty grim as well, considering she has a shorter life span. But it’s fine, things are fine she may have a gloomy outlook on certain things but that doesn’t stop her from living life!! Despite how sour this may all seem Zelda is still that encouraging young woman whose kindness defines her, she’s playfully innocent around friends and enjoys exploring old places of decay that’s rich with history! She tends to bottle up her more negative aspects to not worry others since she’s the pillar of an entire ass nation, she needs to maintain her placid demeanor as a means to calm and soothe others around her. Because the truth of the matter is that the events of ALTTP (before the game where harsh plagues among other things happened before Agahnim arrived to fix everything as well as after the events of the game) and OoX, instances where she’s witnessed death of loved ones, the downfall of her kingdom, and coming across death herself has affected her greatly. She suffers from grief and depression that needs to be addressed but... ;v; 

NGL I’M ABOUT TO CRY 

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).   HJKA TAKE OUT MY BULLSHIT TAKE ON HER AND YOU’RE LEFT WITH EXPOSITION AND DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!!! She’s not at all interesting if you don’t take into account her roles in the mangas which I somewhat base her personality and thoughts on... she’s just.... nice pretty princess that needs to be rescued. A tale as old as time.... 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   GOOD QUESTION!!! BECAUSE I STARTED OUT WITH HILDA BEFORE DECIDING TO GO WITH SKY ZELDA BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO A MORE OUTGOING MUSE and then I opened up a sideblog for this Zelda out of whim. There’s no reason why I choose the most obscure Zelda, I just did it because I thought it’d be fun. I did not expect this much characterization for someone like her ngl. I guess what keeps me going is the fact that she’s a fun character to write for! 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? HA!!! NOTHING!!! Mental illness is a bitch, I will have my down... weeks. Not days, literal weeks or months depending on how long my episodes last. It sucks, and I try to work around it but there’s not much I can do. That said, inspiration depends on motivation and want to write. As well as focus because god knows I have so little of that. 

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO I TRY BUT UNDERSTAND THERE’S NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH IN CANON YOU EITHER LIKE HER OR DON’T 

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO but I honestly should???

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES where’s the kinda opition, because I personally love her and think she’s interesting enough but I’m still working a lot on her NO

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HA HARD NO

Are you a sensitive person?  YES fun part of having ADD is that you feel emotions more intenstly, I’m naturally a senstive person too so :’)))) / NO

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES OF COURSE!!!! As someone who wants to grow more in writing any sort of feedback is appreciated! 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   If you give me the chance to ramble about this stupid elf I will literally love you so much like I love all sorts of questions anyone may have about her!! Though I feel my rambles don’t really make much sense since I just type whatever pops in the mind and put it down as fast as I can without double-checking well enough. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?   Sí! Again, I want to grow more as a writer and rper! So if someone were to come across a headcanon they don’t like I’d like to know why so that I can think more critically about it and fix it so that it better fits Zelda. If someone were to say “I don’t like this” without saying why it really won’t help much aside from letting me know that you don’t like the thing, which is fine and valid but pls let me know why! 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   Eh, fine with it. I honestly don’t mind if someone doesn’t like my characters, any of my characters I play as! Sometimes, certain portrayals aren’t someone’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly fine. I won’t take offense to it, at the end of the day while I’m still working on Zelda I’m happy with how much she’s grown over the years I’ve played her as... which were just two but it feels longer dude!!! 

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?   Again, I wouldn’t care that much lol. It’s just rping, it’s really not that deep. It’s no different from someone not liking a book because they just don’t vibe with the writing style among other reasons. I may be sensitive but I don’t really take a lot of things personally. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   Ye uvub! I’m a literal dumbass behind a keyboard, don’t be afraid to say “hey this wasn’t spelled right” or “hey this doesn’t make much sense mind checking it over really quick”. 

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   I THINK?! I MEAN HONESTLY I’M SUPER ANXIOUS AND A WORRYWART I JUST DON’T SHOW IT MUCH AAAAAAAA I’d like to think of myself as chill ;v; I try to treat others how I want to be treated and just try to be nice. Idk if I come across as that or not, it’s hard to convey feelings through text sometimes to some. 

[paint-pilot]

shit it’s been a second, guess it’s time to update again

edit: holy christ this is long, i’m gonna readmore it. tl:dr tyler has many badweird feelings but is getting through it. fun body changes, including hair growth and an unexpectedly nice voice. surgery and legal matters are Annoying. tw for menstruation

it is truly bizarre to think that i’ll have been five months on t in a little under two weeks. another month after that and it’s half a year. it’s uhh...weird. quarantine has just made this all feel weird. it’s like i fast-forwarded through this whole journey i was supposed to go on i guess? like i got randomly torn out of my life one day in march with no warning and then just as suddenly got spat out in august with a new life - new name, new face, new major, new identity - and no transitional period whatsoever. my classmates, my professors, my students, they all have only known me as tyler. and only ever will know me as tyler. and that’s great! it’s great, and i’m truly just blown away by how markedly easy it’s been and how weirdly good my timing was in transitioning. but it almost feels like i’m still a ways behind everyone else, i guess. i’ve spent so much of my life hiding, and lying through my teeth, and covering my ass every second of every day to protect myself, and i don’t have to do that anymore but the instinct is 100% still there and that honestly doesn’t feel good. of course i’m not making any of it up - i’m happier now than i’ve ever been, and i know i’m making the right choice - but it still persistently keeps feeling that way.

it’s just difficult, i think, to balance wanting to be read as male (and, to a large extent, wanting to keep my transness hidden both for safety reasons and so people don’t start treating me differently) and finding it difficult to hide this truly massive life change that, like, four people are really seeing anything of. and y’all, i guess, lol. it’s one thing to talk about all this in therapy, but it’s another entirely to just be able to share it with strangers and not worry about it being weird.

i was writing this with the intent of it being a mostly happy update but i guess there is some negativity boiling up so. gotta be honest, i guess? there’s a lot of fun trauma stuff i’ve been going through lately that i won’t get into but it’s culminated with this bullshit in this really fun way where my mom gets upset because i get kind of uncomfortable when she shows me childhood photos or tells stories about me as a little kid and then i just break down for reasons i really can’t discern. i’m going to try and articulate this, and who knows how messy it’s going to get, so i apologize if it gets kind of incoherent from here on out. as far as i can tell the root thing that she really gets upset about is that i’ve “thrown away” my whole previous identity. like, not a direct quote, but “you can’t just pretend [deadname] never existed. because she did, for a long time.” and...sure, i guess. i know this has been hard on my mom. i know she was raised in a conservative family, and while she has worked hard to adopt an accepting and open mindset she still doesn’t 100% grasp all of it and will make mistakes. i’ve made my peace with that. and yet. it’s not so much, really, that i was this other person and then became tyler, y’know? tyler did not appear suddenly two years ago where she once stood. tyler put on a mask, even before he knew he was tyler, because tyler was scared and ashamed but people seemed to like her and, for a time, she was an easy person to be. and i hated her. that is so fucking scary for me to say, and i’m not sure i’ve admitted that until literally right this second, but i did. not because she was a bad person. because she had a voice and a face and a body that i hated. because people saw her and assumed they knew me. because even she had many faces, because there was no real base or identity to her, just traits designed to paint a pretty picture and make people like her. because i knew, when i finally threw her away, people would miss her. compare me to her. expect me to be like her.

so i don’t know. i don’t have a satisfying way to wrap this up, because i honestly don’t know how to face this because i know it is absolutely not just the trans thing that created this situation. i’m kinda warring with myself, because i do kinda want to go back through this blog and delete photos of myself with long hair and whatever (because jesus, i’ve had this thing since i was like 14) but i genuinely don’t know if that’s healthy. i know i’m going back on my bullshit, fretting this way and that over whether something is “healthy” as though that’s an objective term without considering what’s going to make me happy, but honestly? i don’t know anymore. i keep sensing the mental block - the swathes of my childhood that i cannot recall, just vague, constant unease - and i don’t really know if i want to dig into all of that and learn what lies underneath because i’m sort of afraid of it. like i said, i’m happy now, happier than i’ve ever been, and i’d sort of like to just leave it like that. but i guess the length and tone of this post might argue otherwise.

anyways. anyways. enough mental health therapy, more actual hormone therapy updates since that’s what this goddamn thing is supposed to be i think? i’m finally starting to grow some noticeable hairs - my chin hair is coming back after my mom made me shave it before i left for school lol, as are a handful of mustache/lower lip/sideburn hairs. i keep feeling phantom bugs on my legs/feet and i’ve only just now recognized that that’s just leg hairs brushing against places i’m not used to. my appetite has picked up like absolute hell again, too, so i don’t know if i’m just having a metabolic spurt or what. also, i’ve started bruising more? idk what the hell that’s about - i fucking never bruise unless i’ve been hit Hard, and i kind of assumed testosterone would make you less likely to bruise, but then that’s probably just not related to the hormones at all. i was gonna put this in the tags but seeing as this post is already so long i might as well put a readmore and just put this here lol: my period is late, like, four days late, which is exceedingly unusual for me and might mean i’m finally done. or almost done. fingers crossed.

my voice has started to settle, it seems like. i popped out an e2 yesterday, which is Sick, but i’m not as focused on that anymore as i am on the actual quality of my tone. which is...good? i’m not just a baritone, i’m kind of a good one, at least it seems like. i’m really working right now on just getting familiar with my instrument - i’m second-guessing my pitch sensitivity a lot, but i think i really just need to drill and practice until everything starts feeling like second nature again. but since the musical didn’t happen for me, my coach wants to enter me in a classical solo competition next spring. so...no more retirement from competitive singing. i’m back! and thank god, because i’m starting to go crazy without being in musical work lol.

jesus fuck, i have a lot to say. i should probably split this into two posts but i don’t care. i am frustrated; i tried to get an appointment with a pro bono legal program for a name change, but it happened today and i wasn’t invited so apparently i’m on my own. and i’m frustrated. i’m trying to look at internships and shit for next summer, but i kind of can’t apply right now because my legal name and sex don’t line up with my presentation, and i don’t really know how easy it is to get away with that in this day and age and especially in my field. genuinely, if anyone has any advice, i’d appreciate it. i don’t know how long this will take, i don’t know what the requirements are, i don’t know if i’m better off just applying now and hoping they don’t eliminate me before ever getting me an interview. and, of course, i’m working on getting consultations for top surgery, but i keep catching myself procrastinating that. which seems weird, but listen. i’ve said it before but i have to emphasize, i am capital-t Terrified of getting this surgery. i know i need to, i know it will make things better for me, i know now is the time, i know i hate binding and can’t really get away with not doing so, but jesus fuck i am so frightened of anesthesia it’s not even funny. but i guess i’m mostly just calling myself out here and telling myself to quit being a big baby, schedule the thing, and give myself a few months to prepare.

anyway. that’s all i have to say. i’d apologize for ranting, but honestly...i dunno. i know at the start of all this a handful of you requested these updates, and i have to imagine it’s because at least some of you are transitioning, are thinking of doing so, or know someone who is or will be soon. and i just hope someone out there can at least relate, because there honestly just aren’t a lot of comparable life changes out there. or maybe this is just therapeutic for me, that’s fine too.

i have two midterms next week i should be studying for. i should do that.

[onstarsandiron]

Band AU Outline

Because where else am I going to put this?

[Lol I made it long, it’s under the readmore]

Scene 1 is Jax is trying to get coffee for his shitty boss and this asshole bumps into him, spills it all over him, and has the goddamn nerve to not stick around. Jax doesn’t know how he feels about the $50 bill casually thrown at him before Asshole runs off

Scene 2 is Robb arriving late to after school rehearsal and smelling faintly like coffee and his stupid brother is there and sneers at him because Eric is sooooo perfect and Eric gets to be the one that plays the violin, the instrument that everyone likes, and Robb is here playing the bass. Well fuck you, Eric, because Robb’s a damn good bass player and he actually likes how it sounds, thank you very much. If he’d gotten stuck with the viola he would have killed himself; he’d literally be second fiddle to Eric.

Scene 3 is Jax on his lunch break talking to Ana about their bassist or something I think? 

Scene 4 is Robb secretly practicing his electric bass in a quiet part of the mansion, like he always does, playing along with youtube videos and learning whatever he feels like

Scene 5 is Jax arriving at the venue and finally feeling the stress of the day wash off a little

Scene 6 is Robb arriving at the venue; he’s got a genuine ticket, but he brought his electric bass to try and say he’s part of the opening act or something and get backstage to try and get an autograph (maybe got dared to get one?) This goes, of course, wrong when the stage runner insists on personally seeing him to the correct dressing room saying they’ve been looking for their goddamn bassist all over the place, where the fuck have you been? and just shoves him in 

Queue: “YOU!” “Me?” Robb studied the other’s face, looking for where he’d know those features from. Suddenly it came to him. Oh. Oh no. Coffee boy. “Oh no,” Rob said, unable to help it, “Me.” 

Robb fucking OWES Jax for that bullshit, he may have payed for replacement coffee, but you can’t pay for replacement dignity, and that was his FAVORITE sweater. What’s that instrument he has? A bass? Fucking good because Barger is a no-show and they’re on in 15. 

Ana’s drums, Di does keyboard and synth, Jax is lead (only) guitar and lead (only) singer -- Di cannot carry a note to save the galaxy and Ana gets too excited and just ends up screaming more than singing (you physically cannot stop her from doing this, mind you, so mostly Jax just doesn’t give her a mic. It helps only so very much. To be fair, it is Ana’s band, so she has a certain right to do whatever she wants) They are the Dossier [Idk if I wanna include Xu and Elara in here yet; if I do, Elara’s a techie and Xu is additional tech support + Social media manager/marketing/gig booking/etc]

Queue the gang tearing up Robb’s pretty boy outfit to get grungier bc if you believe Ana started some kinda new wave bullshit band full of crooners you’re goddamn wrong. They do loud hard rock and you can die made about it. Also Jax applies Robb’s eyeliner and Robb has never had a more intimate moment with an individual without actually touching one another in his life. 

Then there’s the show. Lucky for Robb they’re playing all covers and it’s stuff that he knows. unluckily for Robb, it’s completely different to playing quietly in his tucked away chamber to youtube videos. He makes do, though. 

He’s kind of mouthing along to the words he knows and then he’s singing them quietly and then he’s singing them outright and then Jax notices and somehow there’s now been a mic placed in front of him and he’s become backup vocals now and if he believed in fake things he’d think Jax was actually pleased about this. Wow, performing sure makes your heart beat hard.

Then they’re taking a bow and off the stage before he even knows it. He thinks now he’ll be shooed off, but actually they let him watch the actual concert with them and then there’s like an after party and they let him tag along and actually he has a really good time (He gets that autograph he wanted too lol)

Like a week later he gets a call from Ana -- Di had made him sign a goddamn liability waiver including personal and emergency contact info -- and turns out that Barger skipped town for reasons which are genuinely undisclosed but 99% probably because he has a gambling problem. They need a new bassist. He worked out well in a pinch, does he think he can make practices monday at 7? 

So that’s how Robb starts sneaking around to be in this band and play little gigs here and there and it isn’t the sort of places anyone from his circle would be involved in and it isn’t so big that he’s so very worried about an internet presence (he does “”Shyly”” hide behind his hand when Di tries to get pictures for their social media). Robb like tells his mom he’s doing some extracurricular thing and turns his phone off and pays off his chauffeur to say nothing

There’s probably some cute scenes or clips of outings or something. They go thrift shopping to get Robb some actual stage clothes, they hang out with Ana’s moms, they don’t talk about Jax’s parents ever and don’t mention that Jax pretty much lives with Ana or the rotating cast of personnel through the house, there’s heart-to-hearts, there’s laughs, there’s drama, there’s friendship blossoming, walls breaking, truly incredible stuff

Then comes the inevitable. The day of the Big School Concert is also the day of the big Battle of The Bands or something. It’s some sort of contest where they play some songs and then they play one they were like assigned and they were assigned Space Oddity and one thing is that the judges are really looking for those strings but Di’s synths just aren’t cutting it; they���re timing and intonation just aren’t right. So Robb is like “Okay, you can’t ask any questions, and I’m going to be like on the wire BUT I will be there and I will bring strings. You have to trust me.” 

And then it’s Robb’s concert, and bananas things happen and he gets out of there with the bass and we’re switching back and forth between everyone being antsy and worrying and Robb booking it with this big ass piece of shit on his back and he’s in the back of the car fucking up his $300 suit. Maybe there’s a run-in with Eric? I kinda really want him to show up a little worse for ware for Jax to fuss over. 

And Jax and Ana and Di are like Bass??? Suit???? Hair half slicked back??? Are those LOAFERS??? Is that a BLACK EYE?? [one of the judges later asks the same thing and Robb just replies “We are a grunge band, ma’am]  But there’s no time to fuss! Because he rolls up literally like two minutes from going on stage!

They rush out and they play their song and it’s magical and fucking gay and Di’s going fucking ham on the piano and the whole room is vibing. Then they play a couple more songs or something idk I don’t want to like ruin this emotional high but I do need to justify the electric base being there for the next bit which issss

Di and Ana shove Robb and Jax into the dressing room and they FINALLY make out. And it’s amazing and heavy and full of emotional and physical catharsis and it’s just exactly��what everyone -- robb, jax, the reader -- needs. 

And then there’s a knock on the door. Followed by “Robbert, darling, are you in there?” 

And Robb’s blood goes cold. Because of course Eric told his mother. Of course he forgot to turn his phone off. Of course, just as he finally has the things he wants, what he’s been craving for all his life, here comes his mother reminding him of what he is supposed to be. 

“What’s wrong?” Jax asks, “Who’s that?” But Robb can’t bear to say a word. It’ll all become obvious in a minute anyway. All he can do is hope that the sadness on his face shows, for once he wants his stupid face to show his goddamn emotion to the one person, and that Jax will know that’s how he really feels and won’t take this next part too personally. 

His parting words are to hand his electric bass to Jax and say, “Here, can you keep this safe for me? Valerios aren’t supposed to play these sorts of things.” 

And before Jax can say anything Robb turns away and makes his face a mask and replies, “Yes, Mother.” 

The door opens and there stands his mother, graying hair pulled into an elegant bun, still in the dress from the recital. Eric stands there too with his sharp suit, looking as if their tussle had never happened and like he didn’t need to wash blood off his rings. There were also a couple of men in suits, some of his mother’s assistants. One entered unceremoniously and silently took the bass from the room. 

“My dearest, whatever are you here for? I believe we agreed to a dinner at your favorite restaurant for your recital tonight,” it was Eric’s favorite, Robb hated the place, “This event was not on my itinerary.” 

“I apologize for the delay, Mother,” Robb said, as if he’d made them wait five minutes instead of running off across town and surely ruining their evening, “I owed a debt, and as you know that cannot be outstanding.” 

The barest hint of anger flashed over her face; she absolutely hated when he threw Valerio Family Names items back at her. He must have been hanging around with Ana too much, because he found himself relishing in having made her mad. The flash was gone almost before it was there, though, and her face was cool once more. 

“And what, pray tell, did you owe to these... people,” his mother said, eyeing Jax in a way that made Robb so angry he could feel the white hot rage in the center of his chest. But he was a Valerio, and he knew better than to show it like Ana was allowed to. 

“Did you not catch the show, Mother?” Robb asked, protectively stepping between her gaze and Jax and praying that it didn’t show his cards too thoroughly, “They required some strings accompaniment. I lent them some. Our transaction is done, I have no more business here.” 

He had so much more business here. He had results to hear. An after party to go to. Pizza to eat. Jokes to laugh at. A boy to kiss. 

But now all that business is done for. Who wants to hear results for a song played by a liar? Who wants to go to an after party or eat pizza or tell jokes with a Valerio? Who would want to kiss him after seeing who he really is: a spineless wimp who is doomed to live and die by his mother’s whims. This whole arrangement was doomed from the start, and he always knew it. He was just too happy to let himself know that. 

His mother was clearly displeased with him, but what was new? “So I see,” She said at last, “Well then, come along, no need to tarry in this... venue.” 

“Of course, Mother,” Robb said. A cool nothingness washed over him. He knew his lines. He knew his place. This was who he was. 

Robb left the room, not sparing Jax a single look over his shoulder. He told himself it was because his mother would certainly notice, and she would, but really he couldn’t bear to see whatever expression Jax was wearing -- betrayal, shock, anger? It would only break his heart further. 

As he left the room he now saw that Di and Ana were looking on in shock. Apparently they hadn’t stepped too far away. “Hey!” Ana yelled, “What’s going on?” 

“Did you not hear the entire conversation about what’s ‘going on’?” Erik asked, and Robb wanted to punch him again. Apparently Ana wanted to too, because Di instinctively reached to hold her back just as she began forward. 

“And who is this, Robbert?” his mother asked, as if they were at the zoo and she was asking which animal was in this enclosure. It was so hard for Robb to see Ana riled up without getting riled up too. 

“The leader of the band, Mother,” Robb said, carefully not naming her. She was nondescript, hard to track down by description alone. Hopefully more trouble than his mother thought worth it. He never wanted any of this night to come back to hurt the band. 

“Well, as you’ve heard, his debt is payed, so he is leaving. Say goodbye, Robbert.” 

“Goodbye,” Robb said, feeling like a dog, “Thank you for the experience.” That was as close as he could get to what he wanted to say. Thank you for being his friend, for being there for him, for letting him be dumb and clumsy, for a thousand things Ana has done for him. Her and Di and Jax. And all he can say is, “Thank you for the experience.” He makes him sick. 

And like that he turns with his mother and brother, because he is nothing but their dog. A spare for if something goes wrong. An extra to be married off for a good business deal once he’s ripe. That’s all he is and all he will ever be. 

He can hear Ana yelling after them, struggling against Di’s hold. He can picture Di’s face as he struggles between holding Ana back for her own good and letting her go because he knows she’ll at least land a hit. He tries not to picture Jax at all. 

But don’t worry because I hate sad endings but idk exactly what I want to happen but basically a few hours pass and then either Siege or Ana is like “So, when are we going?” and Jax is like “? Going where?” “To break your boyfriend out.” and idk, but it works out in the end. 

[hensthings]

Was tagged by @rrosyan​ to list 10 of my favourite characters from 10 different things. Oooh boy this is gonna be hard to choose only one character per thing. :,D But I’ll try my best.

Putting under readmore because long post is long idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

1. The Devil (Cuphead)

Cuphead is pretty much now one of my favorite games ever, so deciding only one favorite character was so hard, but I go with him now. He’s a bastard, but such goofy villain as well (plus fluffy crybaby). It toke me time to warm up to him, but now he’s one of my strongest faves.

2. Chika Takami (Love Live!)

I had already been watching and playing Love Live! for quite a while before Aqours came along, and when they did I was not prepared to fall for her as hard as I did. She’s just so positive and cheerful and aaaaa I just love her!

3. Circus Baby (Five nights at Freddy’s)

She’s still one of my strong faves from the franchice. She’s such a interesting and in a way tragic character. I also love her voice acting big time.

4. Madotsuki (Yume Nikki)

Funnily a character we still don’t know much about, is so close to my heart. Sometimes I wish we could get solid canon answers for what’s bothering her, but at the same time it would ruin the mystery. And what a mystery she is.

5. The Batter (OFF)

I grew to him really fast when playing the game, even if some interpret him only as a coldblooded and emotionless killer and nothing else. And because of my interpretation of him and his reasons, he’s another strong fave.

6. Miles Tails Prower (Sonic the Hedgehog)

I’ve been Sonic-fan since I was five year old. Sonic 2 was my first game and Tails was one of those “love at first sight”-cases. And to this day that love for him has not changed.

7. Parappa (Parappa the Rapper)

He tries his best, he deserves the best and he’s the best pupper, who told me to believe in myself.

8. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (Disney)

Like for many, my first introduction to Oswald was from Epic Mickey (and the way he was done as a character and his story in the game was so good). But he was the gateway for me to really start digging into animation history in general and get into that fascinating stuff. So I have him to thank for it.

9. Sans (Undertale)

Yeah yeah I know. Memes aside, he’s just such a cool, funny and interesting character.

10. Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

He’s son-material, period. He’s such a lovable lil dork and it was so great to see him grow as the show went on.

I tag no one because I’m lazy, feel free to do if you want! \o/

[astheravensighs]

F/O Asks to Rile Yo Up: 1 and 10 + Prussia

oh gosh those r actually very easy 2 answer for my hubs lmfaO thank u for the ask!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ there’s a LOT of tw content here so I’m gonna tag them as well as slap em up here in case i forget one!!

so warning for: tw nazi, tw misogyny, tw drinking, tw suicide mention, tw drinking, tw mental health, tw incest, tw hetalia ???? just general tw for like everything honestly sorry guys :O if i wasn’t on mobile id put this under a readmore just in case so pls be careful!! anyway here’s the Hot Takes!

1. a hot take abt this f/o

ok first of all. the official animation? the Source Material (tm)? ugly. he looks like he’s made of legos. like a minecraft skin. a fool. his english voice is also Horrific. 0/10. honestly 99% of the actual canon content of him i just.... i am Not Looking...... additionally: he definitely used 2 be... Problematic. like. v bad innapropriate jokes. a lot of ‘get in the kitchen’ type shit. he didn’t REALLY mean it but like... he’s several hundred yrs old that’s just. he didn’t know it was hurtful bc he’s absolutely a dumbass. he’s learned a LOT since ‘retiring’ bc he has nothing to do but Internet Around and he was like ohh. oh. so I’M the problematic fave. huh. he has made a great effort 2 unlearn the icky shit!! but sometimes it slips out and he feels AWFUL but hes rly trying i promise....

also: unhealthy coping mechanisms galore. boy drinks. i do Not like when peopl drink around me it scares the shit outta me i am the least helpful person 2 text if ur drunk and need help bc i will nope the fuk out and I’m SRY but i just can’t. deal with that lol. but he Really likes drinkin. refuses to go to therapy bc hes a stubborn dumbass. a LOT of compartmentalizing. he basically thinks as long as he’s not sad ALL the time then he’s fine, even if when he IS sad he is severely depressed and has full on panic attacks and breakdowns like twice a year (which is not tru fyi!! u dont have 2 be constantly sad to seek treatment!!! don’t do what he does he’s a dumbass)

2. what made you think ‘of course i had to like THAT character’?

shkahdkfjks the list is a mile long lol.... first of all. the one associated with nazis. of COURSE it would be that one. and obv in my hc he was and is NOT abt it but like. the amt of nazi content for him is deeply unsettling and i Do Not Like...... also: idk specifically why (tho i have a few ideas) but apparently hetalia is a v problematic show/fandom ?? which i wasn’t aware of ??? i watched it in like. 2008/2012 era-ish idk when exactly but i was DEF uneducated in the whole problematicness area so,,,,, of course i had to like the most problematic character in a problematic show what the hell. why. why am i like this. also he’s like. dead ? question mark ? or at least he’s supposed to be ??? so there’s always the potential he canonically disappears and i have to yank canon out of the creator’s hands and put him back 🙃 also the one that has a virtually unknown japanese voice actor so there’s like NO other content for his voice ugh ,,,,,, AND the actor in the stageplay just. didn’t capture him at ALL unfortunately so. not much good content other than fanart where everyone ships him with his brother 🙃